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can not STAND the amount of radfem posts that have show up on my dash "based on my likes" because i've liked posts related to feminism. like what in the world. i should be able to like a quote from bell hooks or a post on reproductive rights and not have this wild and hateful terf shit pop up
#just had a post pop up where the OP was saying drag was similar to blackface#so now i have to deal with my anger about that for the rest of my life#all bc this platforms shit algorithm facilitates extremist thinking and radicalization#as if all women and transfolk arent struggling enough irl huh#fucking all these ppl need to go outside and see whats happening in the world to trans people like........ get off the internet and wake up#how do you look at the trans community and go oh yes! the reason for our oppression!#girl you are looking in completely the wrong direction#you have all the reason to be mad when it comes to the horrible endless misogyny in our world#but how is blaming this very small and widely unaccepted community going to help your cause#its the oldest trick in the fuckin book#u cant scapegoat the minority and make your problems go away#thats just a fast track to violence#like if yall are really interested in feminism why aren't you spending more time looking to men in power#vs people who are already struggling to be themselves in a way that DEFIES the gender norms that you claim to hate and rally against sfm??#gnc people are not threatening your 'womanhood' u just gotta fucking chill#dont u want to build a future BASED on your sex being of less importance? isn't that the whole damn point?#that our differences are acknowledged and celebrated and accommodated#not used against us#like... c'mon#so full of shit#show me the real feminists on this site who actually care about women and building a better future for everyone#and wanna have real convos rooted in compassion for one another
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i would low key love to hear your tangent about the differences there are between how VM and TM9 react with the world
ah, the perfect excuse for me to put off my 30 page reading, thank you :3
(i’m also going to preface this by saying most of this is stuff i’ve picked from other people’s various metas and i absolutely do not remember who those authors might be so i apologize jsdlkfsd)
....
but uh ... basically i feel like vox machina and the nein have a completely opposite standard for how they interact with the people the consider to be their “inner circle” vs. everyone who doesn’t qualify as that.
vm is a group of individuals who, overall, had one cruel person that slighted them but didn’t really destroy their faith in humanity. (their faith in themselves is a whole different horse. that ones .... woof. looking at you percy scanlan tary keyleth.) Percy had the briarwoods, Grog had Kevdak, the twins and tary had their father. so, the way that they interact with just random people that they meet is - with exceptions of course - amicable, or at the very least, respectably polite.
they’re the saviours of emon, the freers of whitestone. they have festivals held in their honor. they have kid fans and random farmers knocking on their doorstep for aid because they’ve heard tales of the kindness. sure, vex can be a hassle when she’s haggling down a price, and keyleth tends to poke buttons in way that gets her arrested a fair amount of the time, but at the end of the day they’re the people’s heroes, and they’re happy to be that!
their inner circle, however, is much more closely guarded. they have a few chosen allies (gilmore, allura, kima, kash and zahra, cassandra) and that’s it. They’re hesitant with anyone else trying to creep into their personal fold. Hell, it took beating up tary and him breaking down sobbing for them to even consider liking him. they’ve been burned by raishan and clarota and hotis, by individuals they let in and who then stabbed them in the back. they’ll do almost any favor for a stranger who asks, but they’ll be damned if they trust anyone to actually join their midst. vox machina is vox machina is vox machina and that’s incredibly hard to change.
the nein, on the other hand, are fundamentally a group of rejects. some of them have specific people they can point a finger at and say “i hate you”, but those problems stem from a greater societal rejection. beau has daddy issues, but she also felt rejected by the entire cobalt soul until dairon found her. caleb has trent’s fucked up shit, but he also has this constant pressure of having failed his entire country, not to mention the faceless hate piled up on him from living homeless for a year. jester’s whole deal is that she had to hide from LITERALLY ALL OF SOCIETY for her entire childhood because she wasn’t supposed to exist.
and so, the nein are shitheads to society right back. they’re mean to random barkeeps, they trash their inns and don’t say sorry, they mock most NPCs behind their back (or sometimes right to their face. @ marius). Every favor asked of them comes with a ton of deliberation and arguing about whether its bait or not (ie bowlgate, the giants in the mine outside rosohna, essiks “favors”).
but, on the flip side, they’re willing to tug just about anyone into their ranks. if society already hates them by default, what’s there to lose if they get close to someone? nothing, there’s only more love to be found! so it’s adopting random bird girls on the road, its sending cupcakes to a hag that cursed your friend, its sending messages to everyone you’ve ever met just to check in, it’s making someone sit in the hot tub with you and share trauma and then when you find out he started a war you say “we get it bro” and kiss him on the forehead. it’s “welcome to the mighty nein”.
and it’s also very interesting, i think, to talk about the ways in which the party interacts with themselves. vox machina was a family, undoubtedly, as is the nein now. but vox machina ... had a lack of desperation to their attachment. i mean for one, they took a full year off from adventuring together and scattered cross continent. even if the nein gets down time like they did, i expect they’ll just trail each other around like lemmings. (its kind of what they’ve been doing from hiatus until now with the eiselcross arc starting).
but vox machina just ... went. and scanlan walked away from the party and (after the heat of the moment), they agreed to just let him be. and pike would spend weeks on quests for sarenrae without much of a complaint. even at the end - and this will be a controversial take, i know - but they let vax go pretty easily. (sure, mechanically they were wiped from fighting, but besides tears the only attempt to defy trq was from percy, which even he gave up on with minimal struggle because vax said to stop it). that’s not to say they don’t miss each other when they’re gone! of course they do!!! but they trust each other to go off into the world, because the world as whole is a place they trust.
(the one exception to this might be vex, who fought every one of these situations adamantly, but that’s a whole separate essay about her issues stemming from an innate sense of ‘failed family’ that she’s desperate to not repeat, and less about a mistrust of everyone until proven otherwise)
the nein on the other hand. hoo boy. they’ve been hot glued to each other’s hips since day one. So many quotes (many from beau, which could be worked into my previous vex essay, as they’re very much cross-campaign foils. getting sidetracked again) are about their inability to separate. “You don’t get to choose who cares about you”; “No one goes”; “If one of us is gone for more than 7 days assume we’re dead and have a funeral”; “Do we have co-dependecy issues?” Jester’s cool personal vacation to her god’s get together turned into a party with everyone because why would she go anywhere without the nein? Veth’s time with Luc and/or Yeza is constantly overrun with the rest of the nein dropping in for fun. Even small things like shopping trips are so much more “oh well if you’re going then i’ll go” snowballs than they ever were with vm.
Also, ashley’s absences had to be much more forceful than in c1. Post episode 11, the only time yasha left the group (rather than someone else piloting her) of her own free will was when she ran in grief from molly’s grave. And yes, there’s something to be said about “oh they were on a boat for a long time she had nowhere to go” but if Matt can justify astral projection pike, i feel like he could justify ‘the stormlord teleports yasha away for a bit’ and he chose not to.
Because!!!!!!!!! of the dynamic that the nein has!!!!!!!! Because of this idea that the world is bad and cold and full of hate and in here in our little hut (soon to be mansion??????) it’s safe and good and full of love and no one can leave because then you’d be going somewhere much more dangerous and we can’t have that, now can we?
.....
well uh. that’s a lot of words. i hope they made some sense??? and were at all what you were expecting???? thank u for sending the ask tho this was very fun to write!!
tldr: vox machina is a group of people who were betrayed by one bad figure, so they trust the world and are wary of the individual; whereas the nein is a group of people who were failed by the world at large so they welcome the loner and fear the pack.
#critical role#vox machina#the mighty nein#critical role meta#hey the actual essay bit turned out be 1200 words On The Nose
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It’s been months since he was this close to anyone. It might have even been Jon the last time, too; helping him walk down in the tunnels. How did they get from there to here? How-
“Tim?” Jon asks softly, pulling back to look him in the face, and it’s the loss of that warmth and pressure that makes Tim realise he’s started breathing in great, shuddering gasps. He screws his eyes shut and Jon reverses their positions, pulling Tim into his chest with unpracticed but fervent hands. His T-shirt is soft against Tim’s face; he hadn’t thought Jon would own anything so soft.
Tim’s throat is burning, but as long as he keeps his eyes screwed shut then he isn’t crying. He isn’t crying on Jonathan Sims the night before they both-
“It’s alright, Tim,” Jon says, searching for words of comfort he only half believes himself. “It’s - whatever happens tomorrow, it can’t - we’re safe here.”
Tim laughs bitterly. “Nothing’s fucking safe.”
Jon seems unable to decide between rubbing soothingly at his back and just holding on as tight as he can. Tim shouldn’t be here, shouldn’t be giving into this. But there's a reason he lost so much time when he should have been searching for the thing that killed his brother. The Institute was full of potential answers, but it was also full of bright, lovely distractions. He's buried in the arms of one of them.
Tim didn't used to think of that as weakness - but he didn't used to think there were worms that burrowed through your flesh, or creatures that took every true memory of your friend without you ever noticing, or monsters that played with skin, played with the fabric of who you were, because it was fun.
Tim doesn't know fucking anything, and maybe he never did, and now all that's left is to-
"What can I do, Tim?" Jon asks, and he sounds so honestly lost.
"Turn back time," Tim murmurs into his shirt. "Don't let go," he adds a moment later.
“I won’t, I won’t.” Jon clutches him impossibly closer. Tim’s world narrows down into warmth and pressure. “Tim, we don’t - we don’t have to do this. You don’t have to do this.”
The gentle vibration of his words is almost enough to distract Tim from the words themselves. He turns his head so he can speak un-muffled, and immediately misses the comfort of being closed in. “I do, Jon. I can’t…” Tim fumbles for the right words, wondering faintly if this is how Jon feels all the time, struggling to give voice to the unspeakable. “The worst thing in all of this, the worst thing would be if they hurt someone again while I’m just standing there."
Still not crying, not as long as his eyes are tight shut. He feels Jon hesitate, then push forward anyway. "Even if...Tim, even if you had moved, what could you have done?"
Tim squeezes hard at Jon's side and isn't sure if he means it as a warning or a plea.
"I'd never have met you," Jon says, so soft Tim isn't sure if he was meant to hear it.
"Was just thinking before,” Tim replies, because he’s fucked up enough that he might as well keep going, “I wish I'd met you somewhere normal."
Jon’s hands still, and for a moment the rise and fall of his chest does too. It’s the closest thing to absolution Tim’s ever offered. He’s glad he can’t see Jon’s face, can’t see whatever shock or gratitude is playing out there. At some point, he made himself into someone who no one expects to be kind. He wonders, vaguely, whether it counts as forgiveness, to want someone to spend what might be their last night on earth forgiven.
from: enemy of my enemy, aka jon and tim sit in various rooms and talk: the fic
thank you for asking!!! here we go:
It’s been months since he was this close to anyone. It might have even been Jon the last time, too; helping him walk down in the tunnels. How did they get from there to here? How-
do you ever just think about how fast things went wrong for the s1 crew...they were friends just a few months ago!! a few weeks in between no current supernatural experiences -> trying to survive supernatural experiences together by physically holding each other up -> complete alienation. some experiences just defy comprehension, emotionally speaking, even when you can see every step that led from there to here
i also like to make myself sad by thinking about the practical day to day aspects of everyone in the archives being alienated from everyone else. like...when were either of them last touched (non-violently)
so much has changed but they've circled back around to each other
“Tim?” Jon asks softly, pulling back to look him in the face, and it’s the loss of that warmth and pressure that makes Tim realise he’s started breathing in great, shuddering gasps. He screws his eyes shut and Jon reverses their positions, pulling Tim into his chest with unpracticed but fervent hands. His T-shirt is soft against Tim’s face; he hadn’t thought Jon would own anything so soft.
'person starts crying without noticing until someone points it out' is a trope i generally try to stay away from partly because i just can't imagine that ever happening to me and therefore it doesn't ping my realism senses, but i get one (1) because it is undeniably juicy
this fic is very zeroed in on tim's perspective in terms of small sensory experiences, for a few reasons - drive home emotions, portray dissociation, and because i like writing about how it actually feels to be in a romantic gesture, to make it more real than just like...an image of people holding each other
small detail that jives with bigger points - jon's shirt unexpectedly soft, jon's surprising ability to still provide him with gentleness and comfort
i think jon here has no idea what to do but has been given permission to touch so is living his best tactile life with this inexpert hugging and is hoping that does something
Tim’s throat is burning, but as long as he keeps his eyes screwed shut then he isn’t crying. He isn’t crying on Jonathan Sims the night before they both-
“It’s alright, Tim,” Jon says, searching for words of comfort he only half believes himself. “It’s - whatever happens tomorrow, it can’t - we’re safe here.”
Tim laughs bitterly. “Nothing’s fucking safe.”
tim spends a lot of this fic having his inner-monologue cut off to try and show as well as tell that he's struggling to stay present
that 'both-' hurts me, honestly. hurts more than it actually being spelled out, i think. write to upset yourself, maybe you will upset others in the process
half is a word i absolutely overuse in writing but cannot stop. no one ever does something all the way, they are half- believing, wondering, worrying, etc.
i'm never 100% sure if i'm accurately capturing the way that jon speaks in canon but i did always like and want to emulate the fact that he speaks kind of hesitantly, trips over his own words, etc
Jon seems unable to decide between rubbing soothingly at his back and just holding on as tight as he can. Tim shouldn’t be here, shouldn’t be giving into this. But there's a reason he lost so much time when he should have been searching for the thing that killed his brother. The Institute was full of potential answers, but it was also full of bright, lovely distractions. He's buried in the arms of one of them.
Tim didn't used to think of that as weakness - but he didn't used to think there were worms that burrowed through your flesh, or creatures that took every true memory of your friend without you ever noticing, or monsters that played with skin, played with the fabric of who you were, because it was fun.
again, jon does not know what to do so he is just trying. just trying to do any kind of soothing hand thing
i thought quite a lot about reconciling the seemingly happy-go-lucky tim that gets presented to us early on vs learning why he came to the institute in the first place. tim here is framing that as a failing because he's miserable and traumatised and guilt-ridden, but i think at least part of it was actual healing. he was taking time and enjoying the people around him and trying to make the best of things, until it all went wrong
related, the self-recrimination of tim hating himself for not having seen any of this coming, even though they were not predictable events...very human nature after you have been through something terrible. how dare i have not anticipated every trouble that ever befell me
'played with skin, played with the fabric of who you were' - a lot of this story was me just enjoying the themes of stranger-horror. i love the terror of knowing there are creatures who can change aspects of you that should be unchangeable, physically in skin and otherwise in terms of identity and memory. love applying that to jon and tim, who have been fundamentally changed against their will by trauma and their roles in a story neither of them wanted. skin as metaphor for identity, and learning that people can take away your skin is then utterly terrifying to someone who already feels like his identity is being forcibly eroded. and then that shared terror brings them back together, just a little
Tim doesn't know fucking anything, and maybe he never did, and now all that's left is to-
"What can I do, Tim?" Jon asks, and he sounds so honestly lost.
"Turn back time," Tim murmurs into his shirt. "Don't let go," he adds a moment later.
this fic...is so sad. why did i write this. why am i being attacked by my past self and their awful words on this day
explicit admission that tim wants/needs jon here...even a chapter ago he was like yeah i'm going to america with jon bc i am regrettably relying on him as my reality-anchor, nothing emotional here
“I won’t, I won’t.” Jon clutches him impossibly closer. Tim’s world narrows down into warmth and pressure. “Tim, we don’t - we don’t have to do this. You don’t have to do this.”
The gentle vibration of his words is almost enough to distract Tim from the words themselves. He turns his head so he can speak un-muffled, and immediately misses the comfort of being closed in. “I do, Jon. I can’t…” Tim fumbles for the right words, wondering faintly if this is how Jon feels all the time, struggling to give voice to the unspeakable. “The worst thing in all of this, the worst thing would be if they hurt someone again while I’m just standing there."
Still not crying, not as long as his eyes are tight shut. He feels Jon hesitate, then push forward anyway. "Even if...Tim, even if you had moved, what could you have done?"
Tim squeezes hard at Jon's side and isn't sure if he means it as a warning or a plea.
warmth, pressure, vibration...continuing to be fascinated by the little tactile details of what it feels like to be close to someone
emotional logic is so powerful. tim moving most likely would have either made no difference to the outcome or worsened it (because both him and danny would have died) but of course for tim standing still while someone he loves was destroyed counts for everything about who he is. sometimes blame feels better than helplessness, which mirrors what happens with his friendship with jon - is it scarier if they are all helpless, or if this one guy is The Enemy
‘give voice to the unspeakable’ sometimes i like poetic descriptions of jon’s role as archivist
"I'd never have met you," Jon says, so soft Tim isn't sure if he was meant to hear it.
"Was just thinking before,” Tim replies, because he’s fucked up enough that he might as well keep going, “I wish I'd met you somewhere normal."
Jon’s hands still, and for a moment the rise and fall of his chest does too. It’s the closest thing to absolution Tim’s ever offered. He’s glad he can’t see Jon’s face, can’t see whatever shock or gratitude is playing out there. At some point, he made himself into someone who no one expects to be kind. He wonders, vaguely, whether it counts as forgiveness, to want someone to spend what might be their last night on earth forgiven.
:(
tim views talking with and connecting to people as fucking up. how much of that is even slightly shrouded in logic and how much is just - tim is depressed and deep in self-loathing, somewhere still at the core of him tim loves people and making connections, so of course doing the thing he wants to do is wrong
‘At some point, he made himself into someone who no one expects to be kind.’ tim has this thought once and then worries at it like a sore tooth because his default state is hopeless fury with himself, with everyone. i also think this demonstrates how new information/realisations often can’t help you out of a bad mental state on its own, because it’s all too easy to slot it into your existing thought patterns. pushing everyone away was making tim worse - he starts to feel like that was a mistake, but it just becomes more self-recrimination
forgiveness is one of those words that seems to encompass so many different concepts that i find it hard to know exactly what it’s meant by saying you forgive someone. specifying what’s meant by this little shard of maybe-forgiveness makes it mean more, at least to me
may i reiterate: :(
#jontim#asks#give-me-a-minute-to-think#talking#tma /#long post#ps to the other person who sent me an ask for this meme: thank you!!! it'll be friday probs before i can answer
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@lcho-r asked: 👁🗨💰😳🤩 (OC Questions 2)
// Snipped due to length ~ !
👁🗨 - Is your OC a nosey person? Are they inclined to gossip?
Shalria is most definitely VERY nosey. Celestial Dragons usually only care about instant gratification, living their lives of luxury in ignorance whereas she enjoys knowing everything there is to know about what’s going on. Limitless wealth and power are all well and good at the end of the day but even as a child, she was well aware that a little knowledge can go a long way and is always worth knowing. When it comes to gossip however, she’s fiercer than a dragon guarding it’s hoard - only foolish people spill their secrets so easily, especially without demanding some form of payment or another first. She’ll listen to idle gossip and pluck the wheat from the chaff, but genuine information is something her ears are always listening out for.
💰 - What’s your OC’s opinions around money? Are they materialistic or more frugal? Is money a concern for them, or are they comfortable with their current status? If money isn’t a worry for them, do they recognise the privilege of that?
Shalria is not frugal at all, at least not in the eyes of ordinary people. She has no qualms about spending vast amounts of money on whatever she pleases, but she’s more ‘frugal’ than her brother who would drop £500′000′000 berri on buying a mermaid just to watch her get devoured by his pet piranhas. Even if she loathes mermaids, Shalria considers it a waste to spend so much on killing what she considers to be a ‘mere fish’ and prefers meaningful purchases over what she sees as useless ones. She’s comfortable with her status, overly so as much like the rest of her kin, believes being wealthy is her right as a World Noble. She’s as greedy, entitled and avaricious as the rest of her caste, uncaring as to how so many countries struggle to afford the obscene tributes demanded by their rulers but still looks down on frivolous waste all the same.
😳 - How do they handle rejection or humiliation, both internally and externally? (how they really feel vs how they appear to react)
Shalria has never been rejected before... but is ultimately unlikely to care very much about it. Only a ‘total idiot’ would pass up the opportunity to be with somebody as magnificent as she and if they decide against that, that’s their loss not hers. It would be disappointing but no big deal should they choose to reject a gift from the very heavens themselves. Humilation on the other hand is a very different story - Shalria is proud, possessing what she believes to be the most ancient and purest bloodline in the world and striking her family as is bad as if they’d struck her themselves. She may look down upon her brother and father but they are still family and fewer instances will incite this dragon’s wrath like attacking her relatives. She’d be fierce too, promising - and planning - violent retribution against all offenders no matter how long it takes, and not only will the offender be at risk but everybody else they know and love. No price will be too high to pay in order to exact righteous vengeance, and Shalria will make sure it happens just to show the world what happens should you dare defy her will.
🤩 - Is your OC easily impressed, or are they uninterested in the achievements of others?
When you are a Celestial Dragon, you have already received the greatest of achievements. Just being born as one is as impressive as it gets, at least according to the ruling class and Shalria is no different. There are plenty of strong, intelligent and even successful people out there in the world but very few can count themselves to have descended from those ancient great kings and queens who created the world as it currently stands. Even the King of Pirates may be executed someday but nothing can change the fact that blood matters or what you are. Few things will truly impress Shalria but talent, especially self-made talent in a world that wants you to be weak, is slightly impressive and the more you claw it for yourself, the more entertaining she finds it. Gild Tesoro stands as one of the only people who has genuinely impressed her, both with his incredible talent as a singer and holding the greatest wealth outside of the Celestial Dragons themselves.
#Icho-r#memes ;; oc questions 2#thank you so much for this!#It took a while to write bc this week's being funny again#But umm it was a longer post than expected#And you all know I love making this girl so awful#Shalria is god awful but in some ways she's self-aware#She knows she's very lucky to be born as who she is#Does she appreciate it?#Like hell she does#She's entitled and greedy and cruel#That it's only right she gets everything she wants#She's very much a believer in that you can accept her as a 'fair' ruler or the greatest tyrant you've ever met#She'll reward good and honest servants and slaves#Paying them their due is only natural#But she's proud af and anybody who steps on that is marked as a great enemy#Think of her as like a Blue Dragon from Dungeons and Dragons#She's 'honourable' despite her callous pride and cruelty but believes she is fair for the most part#But very prideful and a bad enemy to have#ღ;; headcanons
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Does Cultural Appropriation Apply to Natalie Portman?
Sean Ezersky
Assoc. Fantasy Contributor
Does appropriation apply to the worst parts of European cultures?
Today, I want to discuss cultural appropriation. Yes, the issue of the times. But what exactly is cultural appropriation? Well, nobody knows. Starting at the first word, it claims to be some kind of appropriation. And it has something to do with culture.
Firstly, it should be said that this article has nothing to actually do with cultural appropriation. That is because cultural appropriation is essentially defined by racism. The term first appears, so it goes, as a description of how racist citizens of England marginalised and exploited the peoples of the Caribbean, and attacked sections of the working class schtick, for fun. Sounds evil enough.
The term cultural appropriation cannot be used as a mild term or played around with much, because it is by definition a form of misconduct. The term cultural appropriation is defined by the words “inappropriate,” “racist,” and “commercialist.” There is no redeeming quality to cultural appropriation because cultural appropriation is used to describe exclusively irredeemable activity, markedly opposite to cultural exchange or respect.
Consider the worst perpetrator in the United Kingdom and the United States: hip-hop / rap music, curly hair, or a summer tan. Racists always attack these music genres and human characteristics un-European, placing them into the same box on the fringes of their minds, but at the same time view themselves as ‘cultured’ for dipping into the same music, view themselves as ‘interesting’ for factory curling their hair, or view themselves as ‘unique’ for getting a spray-on tan. There is a murderous and delirious sense of bad irony, that racists altogether marginalise, demonise, and lust after perfectly normal traits and human practices, which the racist calls exotic, for fear of being labelled as freaks themselves. That is cultural appropriation.
Another bad actor is the billion-dollar yoga industry in Western nations as well, which attempts at every corner to steal Indian culture then mutilate the original concept, taking the yoga gurus off the cover and planting in some body-bleaching whores, or some wavy Italian guy, to appeal to the racist American, à la youth female target audience. All the while, Hinduism, inextricable from yoga’s origins while not necessarily the same as yoga in any way, is viewed as a false and inexpiable religion by most people in the West. Yoga was not learned from the Hindu, it was looted, and replaced with a shallow, cruel, commercial, and disgraceful attempt to Europeanise and trivialise the hobby while selling it the crude sex markets. That is a form of cultural genocide and religion-sacking. That is cultural appropriation.
But this article is not about cultural appropriation, in a way. The distinction was only added to please those offended by the comparison. This article is about movies, as part of a series of Star Wars critiques, and it’s about Natalie Portman.
Long have I harboured a question about Natalie Portman’s career, as it is so vapid yet so prolific, so vain yet so ubiquitous. This is just the opportunity. Natalie Portman got her start in acting as a 16-year-old leading actress on Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. She returned three years later as a 19-year-old lead on Star Wars: Attack of the Clones, where her character dies. After moving on from the Star Wars prequels, she used that resume to enrol at Harvard University to study psychology.
She has actually commented on this, as all Harvard associates eventually do, saying she and her peers felt she was only enrolled because she was in Star Wars, and this insecurity led her to push harder than her friends in her classes and challenge herself by picking ‘harder-than-necessary’ classes. Still, psychology is the most common undergraduate degree major among women, so hardly original. Whether or not Natalie invites the assessment or feels it is correct, this is undoubtedly true; She, as most people, never would have been looked at by Harvard if she did not have some kind of bank of riches or wealth of limelight that could be mined by the admissions board. Natalie might want to be viewed as a genius of “Hebrew literature” who stood out among the crowd, but that is just impossible parlour speak. Not that she deserves to go to Harvard any less than anyone else, no one deserves to go to Harvard, as Harvard in the 20th Century existed for the sole purpose of excluding people who were not rich, famous, or connected: not academics, so Natalie’s lie to herself merely parrots Harvard’s lie to the world.
But I want to go back just a second. Yes, Natalie Portman said she studied Hebrew at Harvard, even if not intensely enough to double-major in it. That is because her name is not actually Natalie Portman. Her name is Neta-Li Herschlag, and she is Jewish. So, studying Hebrew isn’t impressive knowing she speaks fluent Hebrew at home. That is not to undermine literature, as English-speakers still study English literature, but it’s hardly extraordinary. Hershlag, as I will now be exclusively referring to her, is using her association to Harvard, Judaism, and other, lesser, things to seem smart, yet all of those were gifted to her by either birth or Star Wars.
Now comes the question of cultural appropriation. Neta-Li started her acting footprint as an understudy for the part of Elle Woods in Broadway plays. Yes, that Elle Woods, aside Britney Spears no less. It hardly seems like the right role for a good Jewish girl. But lo, there are some who might point out that Hershlag is an Ashkenazi, and therefore not actually Jewish, that is, not a Semitic person. This is a touchy subject for the Jewish community, particularly since the establishment of Israel: Who actually is Jewish, by means of ethnicity or heritage, and not just language and religion? Is there a meaningful distinction between the Semitic Jewish culture that remained in the Levant, the Sephardic Jewish culture that emigrated to Africa and Iberia, the Mizrahi Jewish culture in Iran and Arabia, the Yiddish Jewish culture that stuck around in Germany, and the Ashkenazi Jewish culture that settled Eastern Europe? Really, who knows, and that is a deeper question; a question, perhaps, for a student of Hebrew literature, wherever we should find one.
Nonetheless, Hershlag is most certainly not British. That Israeli-American nuance is fine for the world of “Naboo” in Star Wars, which ideally would defy every concept of the term “ethnicity,” but works less congruously for Elle Woods. In Star Wars, Hershlag was a doppelganger of Keira Knightly, a dyad which has persisted the entirety of Netali’s 30-year-long career. Here too, we find questions.
Netali gave an interview, which I discuss almost on a daily basis among my social circle, where she firmly wanted to establish herself as a kind of British legacy. She said, of herself, “I iron out my Jew curls” and bleaches/dyes her hair, for no particular reason other than she wants to, and thinks it will make her fit in. Netali also went on to say that no one has naturally yellow hair — which is true, they don’t — implying that a non-Jewish, European actress would not face the same questions about her hair she did. Because the concept of hair straightening and hair bleaching are Nazi holdovers in British and American culture, and as someone who personally hates Nazis, this endlessly infuriates me. All the more so because Hershlag identifies as Jewish!
If Hershlag thinks modifying her hair to make it look ‘more European,’ or, more correctly (since almost all young Europeans have brown hair), to make it look more Hitlerite, more ‘Arianised,’ is acceptable, then she must either view herself as European first and Jewish second, or just care very little about the legacy of antisemitic racism. Why else would a person who calls herself Jewish want to alter her appearance so drastically, in order to look like a posterchild for one of the Hitler Youth?
Many Jewish-Americans feel pressures of Nazi antisemitism and colonial racism in the United States, and many Ashkenazim respond to that by changing their names, Nazifying their looks, and abandoning the Jewish religion. Netali retains a veneer of her Jewishness on the inside, within her own self-perception, while turning into the Arianised version of the Elle Woods archetype on the outside, for the world to see. Is she just playing a part? Is there a real difference in the personality and values of Netali Hershlag vs. Natalie Portman?
People don’t treat her as such. Keira Knightly, for instance, is an Englishwoman. Knightly claims she is ‘British,’ not English, but she is definitely English. Intriguingly, Knightly never went to school, reportedly a dyslexic, while Hershlag, in the Jewish stereotype, went straight to Harvard College. I wouldn’t say Hershlag seems like a nice person, she seems like an ordinary person. Remember that she is part of the Star Wars pantheon of small-time actors who were lifted by George Lucas to notoriety, like Mark Hamill (despite him being my favourite Star Wars actor, I can never remember his name), Harrison Ford, and of course, Sir Alec Guinness CBE.
Jokes aside, with all the classically-trained, upper-class, heavy-hitters from Britain — Peter Cushing OBE, Sir Christopher Lee CBE, and Sir Alec — not to mention the affable nobodies from Hamill to Ford, most Star Wars people are considered likable, especially by fans of nerdom.
That is not to say anyone was struggling, as every lead character in Star Wars was already documented as rich and famous by the time they were cast, but they were “nobodies” in the sense they were not household names until after the film became one of the first Hollywood summer “blockbusters” in history.
Most of all, it is undeniable that, other than Lucas, no one defined the Star Wars films as much as Carrie Fisher, if not for a want of contrast. Fisher was the only female character in all three of the movies, and both the predecessor and counterpart to Hershlag’s character in the Star Wars prequels. Does Hershlag meet the comparison?
The two are very different, both personally and on-screen. Fisher at the age of 19 had sex with numerous middle-aged members of the cast, often the only female and only teenager in a room of dozens of men, forbidden to wear a bra or choose her own hairstyle but allowed to partake in the rumoured plethora of drugs on the set. Hershlag, part of Star Wars from 16 to 19, was entirely unremarkable, both in life and profession, not a very impressive actor or much of a hoot. Again, the good Jewish girl. Some blame Netali’s poorly role on the weakness of the prequels compared to the originals, just as some blame Carrie’s bipolar diagnosis for her eccentricity. Both of these are half-truths, as personality and talent can never be substituted for anything other than what they are. Nonetheless, Fisher and Hershlag were both made rich and famous. While Hershlag is the lesser in terms of her performance, she probably got in the end a much better long-term deal.
A boring role meant Netali would not be immediately typecast, though she went on to play exclusively the girl-next-door leading female interest for a male protagonist, much the same as in Star Wars: Episode II. Coming into acting younger meant she could largely leave acting after childhood, then return to it later as an adult experience. Moreover, we never got to see teenage Netali chained to a bed in a gold bikini.
Our good, Jewish girl.
So, if Hershlag is playing roles given mostly to British, or Hitlerite, actresses, is she not taking away from the British actor? There are too many actors in the world. They are overexposed and over paid, seen too much and given too much, as they are in the same camp as clowns, entertainers, and comedians. But, people like to be entertained, and in the world of capitalism where only money is worship in lapse of dignity, anything people like sells, and anything that sells can make people rich, and riches are a substitute for class, if only a thin one. Just as the weak-minded can be fooled by the Force, so are they easily bought and sold. The British or American actor suffers for nothing, and there are too many of them as it is.
But, does Hershlag have a place in displacing them, or moulding in to become one of them? And would it be cultural appropriation? Undeniably, Netali is conforming to something objectionable when she plays simple roles as sex objects and Hitlerite women, embracing if not embodying the racism and problematic nature of Hollywood casting. But then again, it is with her very body that she represents this trend. One could defend Hershlag, saying she is made to do these things, that she is not so much appropriating Western culture for her ends, but more so that Western culture is stifling her true self, at least if she wants to continue to have a role in acting.
An interesting counter-point, but undermined by Hershlag’s particular brand of coy self-promotion, and eagerness in taking on such roles. And are the Jewish people entirely exploited by Hollywood? In many respects, so-called Europeans are exploited by powerful Jewish moguls in media more often than the other way around, even if they are Jewish Europeans themselves. Harvey Weinstein, a Jewish millionaire who sexually assaulted non-Jewish Western women in order to get them roles, his Jewishness hardly made a ripple.
The biggest names in Hollywood: Steven Spielberg, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jerry Seinfeld, Paul Rudd, Marta Kauffman, J.J. Abrams, Scarlett Johansson, Harrison Ford, John Stewart, Louis Szekely, Mila Kunis, Daniel Radcliffe, Rachel Weisz, Gal Gadot, Roseanne Barr, Judd Apatow, Marcus Loew, Lauren Bacall, Adam Sandler, Amy Schumer, Larry David, Daniel Day-Lewis, Cassidy Freeman, Stanley Kubrick, Jennifer Connelly, Richard Dreyfuss, Samuel Goldwyn, Julia Garner, Elijah Allan-Blitz, Kirk Douglas, Ellen Barkin, Ingrid Pitt, Darren Aronofsky, Eva Green, David Geffen, Lesley Ann Warren, Paul Newman, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Ben Stiller, Louis B. Mayer, Alison Brie, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Chuck Lorre.
As Conan O’Brien jokingly stated: “The Cash-ews run Hollywood.” Almost every major production in Hollywood has a massive Jewish section of development. The United States, for whatever reason, is a majority “Christian-identifying” country, but Judaism plays a much more massive role in the culture than Islam, Hinduism, and Buddhism combined. Even most of the agnosticism in ‘progressive’ Hollywood values comes largely from material secularism, or Jewish incredulity of Christianity, not an ideological pull towards atheism. Is this cultural reproachment why Jewish people are pulled towards media and entertainment, theatre being a known haven for outcasts and oddballs? The Judeo-Protestant alliance of the Hollywood ilk would seem to disqualify the established Jewish community — rich, interconnected, secular Jewish communities of New York, Los Angeles, and DC — from being an oppressed mass.
An important editor’s note is that the actors listed are: Jewish people who adopt non-Jewish appearances or non-Jewish values to a borderline-racist degree (i.e. Eva Green: Jewish actress who plays roles bookmarked for non-Jewish Europeans), thoroughly Jewish people who refuse to identify as Jewish (i.e. Julia Louis-Dreyfus: Jewish billionaire heiress who plays Jewish characters on TV), or regular observers of Judaism who are really, really famous (i.e. J.J. Abrams: co-director of the controversial Star Wars reboot).
More often behind the scenes than on-screen, but usually leading the show when taking a starring role, the Jewish imprint is inseparable from American movies, media production, television, the comedy scene, finance, and screenwriting. Is Jewish not the ruling order of Hollywood? And then would Europeans be the group on the margins? But why, if Jewish people write, pay for, and put on the shows, are there so few Jewish actors, and of those who are, why do they not look Jewish, or a better question would be, why do they try to avoid looking Jewish, and actively attempt to look Western European? That gives the impression that Jewish people are still marginalised in media, even if they are overrepresented in media, and generally more affluent, interconnected, and educated than those non-Jewish counterparts. Why do Jewish people go out of their way to appeal to racist audiences, and in the process erase their own Jewishness.
Maybe it is because the Hollywood Jewry isn’t actually Jewish. Nothing about their jobs or their behaviours embodies the Jewish religion. Most people in Hollywood in general consider themselves as nonreligious, yet that too, might be an influence of a markedly Jewish trait. Non-Christians in the United States are much more likely to turn to atheism and agnosticism on the one hand or fanatical extremism, likely due to being outcast by the mainstream Protestant dialogue, with liberal Jewish people often going agnostic and conservative Catholics often going supercharged while Muslims live on somewhere off in the shadows of public perception.
Yet nonreligious Jewish people still identify as Jewish, separating the religion of Judaism from the ethnic mark. Faith has nothing to do with appearance, and appearance is the base of antisemitism. Enter non-Jewish-looking Jewish people, usually women with heat-flattened hair, like Netali Hershlag and Gal Greenstein Godot. That is not to say they don’t look Jewish, as in an equal measure they all do and at the same time no one does, since what a Jewish person “looks like” is a narrow heuristic based on problematic cultural expectation. That is not to say they are or aren’t Jewish. But are Jewish people like Natalie Portman being forced to conform to racist society, or are they jumping on the bandwagon of racist society and using it to their advantage? Is there actually a difference between the two?
There is a deeper question lying beneath the surface here: The questions of “Jewish complicity in racism?,” “Jewish participation in neo-Nazism?,” and “If ‘Jew’ is a ‘race’ and ‘White’ is a ‘race’ then why are there ‘White’ and ‘non-White’ Jews?,” which other people have asked before. This article is not to address those questions, but they are acknowledged.
Certainly, there are some Jewish people who attach themselves to racist tendencies and Hitlerite habits out of personal advantage in the racist countries in which they might live. In this narrative, the notional collaborator Jewish community would blame the Europeans for racism and cast themselves as convenient survivors. That is not a uniquely Jewish trait, it is a flawed human trait, bystanderism, which defies religious teachings. Why there is such a prevalence among rich, secular Jewish people, of racism mixed with liberalism, is a concern. It could be as simple that, at a certain point, the trait “rich” might start to cancel out the trait “religious.” Old guard antisemites would be unforgiving regarding hatred towards ‘ethnic Judaism,’ and contemporary racist sentiments would reject Jewish people from the points of heritage and beliefs, but it is not immediately clear if Western neo-Nazis would target non-religious Jewish people who, quote, “pass” as Euro-Christians.
If Ashkenazim, Sephardim, and Mizrahim join Western cultures, ideals, and appearances while abandoning the Jewish religion, are they functionally Jewish at all? In the absence of different brands of generational antisemitism, what is holding back an atheist Ashkenazi from becoming a Nazi themself? The Jewish community and Israel critics have been ablaze with debate about the Eurocentric, Ashkenazim-focused account of Judaism in the West, drawing attention to the issue of inter-Jewish racism and inequality among the diaspora of the Jewish faithful. This question is debated separately for Jewish communities because unity is their faith. Followers of Christianity have always cut one another down over heresies and infidelities, but discourse and diversity have defined the post-Rabbinic tradition. The notion of one Jewish diaspora being more powerful than another, based not even on secularism such as in Christianity, but based solely on racism and adjacency to Christian empires, causes non-Ashkenazi Jewish communities to question that proximity in values and appearance Western Ashkenazi populations have with the goyish counterparts. Even the terms Ashkenazi and Mizrahi have taken fundamentally racist connotations, particularly in the advent of Zionism, to separate the ‘European Jewish’ from the ‘Arabian Jewish,’ in a kind of wartime apartheid of academia; a conflict emblematic of larger paradoxes in modern Israel.
This is not the focus of this article. Obviously, Jewish people living in Western Europe and urban America are more “Western” than people who live somewhere else. And obviously, Western nations have a serious and prolonged issue with racism. However, welding those two facts together, then conflating them with Judaism in some sense, would be a mistake.
There are some racist people in Hollywood who identify as, or are identified as, Jewish. That is not the question. The question is: How does the concept of cultural appropriation contribute to that complex dynamic, of conformity and exploitation in Hollywood, even amongst the big names?
This all comes back to the perceptual balance of power. Just as the term cultural appropriation is defined as a group being in a oppressive position and exploiting something that that group itself has made derogatory.
Is Netali Hershlag appropriating Western culture? In a way, yes. As a rich, powerful Jewish actress, she could hardly be said to be put at a disadvantage to Keira Knightly (Harvard versus dropout, remember), or the millions of aspiring brown-haired actresses who are shunned from Hollywood castings. And yet, she decides to look more like them. Obviously, as an ordinary woman herself, she has been victim to the usual sexism and obsessive demands of producers and directors concerning appearances, but that is hardly so say she is a victim. At any moment, she could deign to take a different part or produce her own movies (I would balk to call them films), rather than be typecast as the sexy and innocent girl-next-door. She lives the life of the good Jewish, girl, but never takes on those types of roles, opting instead for Princess Amidala, ballerina Nina Sayers, valley girl Elle Woods, comic book Jane Foster, or Englishwoman Anne Boleyn. Hershlag could at any moment leave acting to climb the ladder a Harvard A.B. clears the way for. How could Harvard Law School, or subsequently the California Democratic caucus, say no? Who wouldn’t pay for a doctor’s visit with the woman from V For Vendetta?
This is not to say that Jewish people are appropriating or imposing themselves upon Westerners, but it is to say that there is a distinct group of Jewish people who draw from Western or Hitlerite practices while entirely avoiding ‘Juden-haus’ or ‘Euro-trash’ rhetoric that hampers people on both sides of the racist conflict. Portman is Netali’s grandmother’s name, so she does have some kind of loose claim to it, if her cousins are still go by that name and she is close with them, while Natalie is a form of the name Neta-Li, and plenty if not most actors use stage names. Many people do racist or questionable things because they are in fashion. But altogether, one must ask the question why the self ascribed curly-haired Netali Hershlag is appearing is French wig and makeup commercials. Is it raw, unidealistic money? Is it Maybelline? Or it is fake hair, fake lashes, and a fake identity?
Natalie Portman is hardly an inspiring figure for women, playing roles subservient to men, often murdered by her lovers or terribly afflicted herself. This is true in Star Wars, Black Swan, Thor, V For Vendetta, and when she played the wife of wife-killer Henry VIII. Where is the liberty in being bedded by an uxoricidal maniac, be it a tired British period piece, or the obsessive Anakin Skywalker? Body modification of any type is not the product or respect or exchange, and can only be looked down upon as unnecessary and insecure. Acting is lying, but that does not mean the actress must change their looks or change their self to read some lines to a camera.
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Doing the nostalgia thing again. Go figure, lol. Anyway. Today I’m lamenting the early departure of some shows that I watched once upon a time and there are so many. Too many that (were) ended either right as they were getting good or just weren’t given a proper chance. Oh what could have been. Here are some of them, off the top of my head. This is by no means a complete list because there have been just too many for me to remember. Feel free to add your own.
I either follow actors/actresses that I have enjoyed in previous shows or get drawn in by the drama or fantasy or utter sci-fi-ness (lol) of it all.
Bunheads
"Bunheads" tells the fish-out-of-water story of Michelle Simms, a once-promising classically trained professional dancer who was drawn to the lights of Las Vegas, where she became a showgirl. After she impulsively marries her persistent suitor, she moves to his sleepy California coastal town, where he lives with his mother, Fanny, herself a former dancer. Fanny now runs a local dance studio. Michelle ends up bonding with some of Fanny's students after meeting them. Among the students are sweet Boo, who struggles with her body type; rebellious Sasha, who has the talent to be a ballet dancer but doesn't have her heart in it because of family issues; shapely Ginny, who's not comfortable in her own skin; and fun-loving Melanie, ready for whatever life throws at her. The students benefit from Michelle's knowledge, but she also benefits from them as they help her adapt to small-town life.
Off the Map
Idealistic, young Dr. Lily Brenner lands at an understaffed medical clinic in a tiny town in the South American jungle. She is joined by other young doctors, all of whom are running away from personal demons. The clinic was founded by enigmatic Ben Keeton, who was formerly the youngest chief of surgery at UCLA. Keeton will teach the newcomers how to save lives in the most-challenging environment they have ever faced.
Defying Gravity
An international crew of eight astronauts -- four men and four women -- sets off on a mysterious, six-year mission covering billions of miles aboard a ship called the Antares. Inspired by the fictional docudrama "Space Odyssey: Voyage to the Planets," the show tells the story of both the astronauts as they explore Venus and the other planets in the solar system, and their supportive and dedicated ground crew. Episodes alternate between the present, on the current mission, and flashbacks to earlier years when the final eight were still in the grueling selection and training process.
Flashforward
Residents of Los Angeles go about their day unaware that a mysterious event is about to change their lives. FBI agents Mark Benford and Demetri Noh are in a car chase; Benford's physician wife is in the middle of surgery; and Benford's friend Aaron Stark works on power lines high above the ground. Suddenly, something causes everyone in the world to black out for just over two minutes. During that time, each person sees a series of events in his or her own future -- some good, some bad, some apparently nonexistent. As people begin to piece together their visions on a worldwide website, Mark and Demetri use the information to try to pinpoint the cause of the blackout, and people are still trying to determine whether destiny can be changed, and what effect those changes may have on others.
Invasion
What if natural disasters were alien smokescreens designed to mask something far more ominous? When a hurricane threatens a small town in Florida, park ranger Russell Poole's young daughter is the only one to see small lights floating towards the water, seemingly unaffected by the vicious winds. At the time, he thinks nothing of her claim, but begins to suspect something may be amiss when his missing ex-wife is found, with no memory of what happened during the storm. In the aftermath of the storm, water-based creatures infiltrate the town and take over the bodies of the town's residents through a cloning process.
V (2009)
Earth has its first encounter with an extraterrestrial race. Calling themselves the Visitors and promoting peace, they seem to be friendly, but their congeniality may be a cover for a malevolent agenda. Erica (Elizabeth Mitchell), an FBI agent, discovers a secret about the aliens that threatens the lives of Earthlings, including her teenage son, who sees them as a sign of hope. Meanwhile, Father Jack (Joel Gretsch), already questioning his faith when the Visitors arrive, seeks answers outside his church and finds other dissidents who believe the Vs are not what they claim to be. The ABC series is billed as a reimagining of a 1980s miniseries by the same name.
Hannibal
Gifted criminal profiler Will Graham has a unique way of thinking that allows him to empathize with anyone, including psychopaths. But while helping the FBI pursue a particularly complicated serial killer, he decides he could use some help and enlists the brilliant psychiatrist Hannibal Lecter. The two form a partnership and it seems that there is no villain they can't catch together, but Lecter harbors a dark secret. His own brilliant mind has gone to the dark side and he has more in common with the criminals they hunt than Will could possibly imagine.
Anne with an E
This reimagining of the classic book and film is a coming-of-age story about a young orphan who is seeking love, acceptance and her place in the world. Amybeth McNulty stars as Anne, a 13-year-old who has endured an abusive childhood in orphanages and the homes of strangers. In the late 1890s, Anne is mistakenly sent to live with aging siblings, Marilla and Matthew Cuthbert, who live on Prince Edward Island. Anne, who proves to be uniquely spirited, imaginative and smart, transforms the lives of Marilla, Matthew and everyone else in their small town.
Pitch
Talented baseball pitcher Ginny Baker immediately rises to fame when she is called up by the San Diego Padres and becomes the first woman in Major League Baseball. She immediately sets in on the task of proving herself to her teammates, starting with team captain and catcher Mike Lawson. The two share an immediate chemistry, putting Mike in the middle of tensions between the beautiful new player and certain teammates who don't appreciate a woman out on the mound. Not all of her fellow Padres are so averse to change, with center fielder Blip Sanders providing support through her journey.
Colony
In the not-too-distant future, Los Angeles has been invaded and occupied by outside forces, causing a rift between the city's residents; some have collaborated with the occupation, while others are rebelling and suffering the consequences that come with that choice. Former FBI agent Will Bowman and his wife, Katie, must consider their familial obligations when making their decision because they were separated from their son, Bram, during the invasion. Proxy Snyder, a cunning and powerful leader within the occupational government, offers Will the opportunity to get Bram back if he works with the invading faction. Will's decision doesn't sit well with Katie, but the couple risk their lives -- and their relationship -- to protect their family.
Life Unexpected
After 15 years of being with different families in Oregon's foster-care system, Lux decides to try her luck as an emancipated minor. As she navigates the legal system in pursuit of that goal, she encounters her birth father, bar owner Nate "Baze" Bazile, living like an aging frat boy with two slacker roommates. He is stunned to learn that he has a teenage daughter and introduces Lux to her mother, radio personality Cate Cassidy, who is sad to learn her daughter has grown up in foster care but thrilled to meet and get to know the girl. She has plenty of opportunity to get acquainted when the judge decides Lux isn't ready to be emancipated and grants temporary custody to her birth parents.
Crisis
A vengeful mastermind ambushes a schoolbus carrying the children of Washington, D.C.'s, elite, abducting the children and their chaperons, and creating a national crisis. The powerful parents -- including the president himself -- find themselves at the mercy of the abductor with nowhere to turn, creating an unthinkable situation that puts the entire nation at risk. As the authorities work to rescue the children, the parents discover how far they are willing to go to protect the people they love.
Emerald City
When a tornado transports Dorothy Gale from Lucas, Kansas, to the faraway land of Oz, her arrival sets in motion a prophecy about a disastrous event known as The Beast Forever and strikes fear into the land's almighty ruler, the Wizard. On her quest to meet the Wizard in Emerald City, Dorothy encounters witches, an amnesiac soldier, a sheltered little boy and many more mysterious beings who will ultimately shape the future of Oz and Dorothy's place in it.
#all of these were interesting enough IMHO to last a little bit longer#but alas#who am I but a mere television watcher?#anywho#gone too soon#things that make me cry#for reasons
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TOP 10 PRIDE EDITION
June is LGBT pride month internationally, a very needed celebration to remind everyone that LGBTIQ+ people exist, their feelings are identity are valids and they deserve the same rights and recognition as anyone else. Today is the day chosen in many countries to celebrate the Pride and, also, today marks the 50th anniversary of the very first Pride parade in New York City, after the Stonewall riots in 1969. A very special day in an already very special month. So we thought, what better way to honor this beautiful celebration than to share some of the best LGBT young adult novels of recent years?
I don’t consider myself LGBT, but I do love reading LGBT stories. I personally believe it’s important to read stories of/by people from different backgrounds and going through different struggles than our own. It’s important to educate ourselves, especially considering how f*cked up the world is and how slowly we advance in terms of human rights. Reading these stories may help you understand the way other people see the world and how the world sees them. And we could do with a little more empathy and kindness these days, to be honest.
So far, I have mostly read stories with gay/bisexual male characters, so I will focus on that for this post, but I will continue educating myself reading stories with trans characters, lesbian characters, non-binary characters, etc…
Here’s my TOP 10 gay YA novels:
#10: Autoboyography, by Christina Lauren
Christina Lauren are great just in general so a book of theirs is always a great choice. About this one, I just loved it. Very well written, one of those books you just want to keep reading and when you get to the end you wish you would’ve gone a bit slower so it wouldn’t be over so soon. I love that the main character is bisexual, cause these books mostly include gay men but very rarely bisexual men and they deserve representation too!
#9: Captive Prince, by C.S. Pacat
This series is not for everyone, let me warn you now. It does touch some very delicate, controversial issues (rape, slavery, abuse…) but I promise you, it is way better than it sounds and I’m sure it’s better than you imagine. It’s dark and intense and passionate but tender at times, especially around the third book. You’ll have to wait for romance but it’ll be worth your while. If you give it a chance, keeping an open mind, it may surprise you.
#8: Two Boys Kissing, by David Levithan
Today it’s very easy to find amazing LGBT YA books but a few years back it was way harder, simply because there was no market or opportunities for them. This one I consider a classic among these great new LGBT novels for teens or young adults. A good story that really gives visibility and history of LGBT people the importance that they deserve. I also recommend checking out other David Levithan books, he’s got many great novels!
#7: Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda, by Becky Albertalli
You probably heard about this one already, considering how well its movie did: Love, Simon. So well that they’ve done a TV show inspired by it, too! This is absolutely one of the must reads on coming out and finding your place in the world. Simon and Blue are cute as can be and the rest of the characters are also great, some even got their own book! You’ll love all of them and will root for Simon and Blue from minute 1. The movie is also really good and funny!
#6: Heartstopper, by Alice Oseman
This comic series (or graphic novels, however you wanna call it) is the cutest I’ve ever seen, I swear to god. It will warm your heart and will have you smiling through the whole thing and you’ll just wish for more. The characters are so relatable, their story is just adorable and the drawings are so lovely. Even if you are not into graphic novels, this one is almost a must. There are three volumes out, volumes 3 and 4 are expected for 2021 and 2022, and I’m already desperate for them.
#5: Red, White & Royal Blue, by Casey McQuiston
This is the most recent one of the bunch. A really good, fresh, modern story that defies classic values and the status quo and just makes you happy. This book has been so well received, has won many awards, and I’m so happy about it, because it’s rare to see LGBT books being recognized as romance novels and not in their own separated category. And it’s time to recognize that romance is romance no matter who you are and appreciate good stories. She’s got a new book coming next year and I just can’t wait to have it.
#4: They Both Die at the End, by Adam Silvera
This is not your typical LGBT story. Well, I don’t think this is typical in any sense, and that’s the appeal of it. In case the title is not enough for you, I can assure you this story is very original and well written. This is not a love story per se, this is a story about life, and love’s a part of it. The characters are so cute and realistic. You’ll wish page after page that the title got it wrong. If you like it, I also recommend checking out other Adam Silvera books like History Is All You Left Me and More Happy Than Not. They’re unconventional and great, too!
#3: Carry On, by Rainbow Rowell
This is basically Harry Potter if Harry Potter was gay. Kind of bordering gay Harry Potter fanfiction. And it’s magnificent. The magic and fantasy of the Harry Potter world with the inclusion that modern world craves and lovable characters you won’t get enough of. A bit of enemies to lovers as well, which I just love. If you like fantasy, this is definitely for you. I promise you, you’ll love it. It has a sequel I’m dying to read and there are more on the way!
#2: HIM, by Elle Kennedy and Sarina Bowen
This is possibly the most mature book on this list and one of my absolute favorite books ever. For starters, I love their writing style. Also they give us both characters’ point of view so we get a full picture of the story, which is great. We can see two young adults figuring themselves out, what they feel, who they are, in a sports world where LGBT people are not usually welcome. And it’s just fantastic. The sequels are also really good.
#1: Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe, by Benjamin Alire Sáenz
This, right here, is one of the best books I have ever read. Period. Nothing I can say will suffice. The story is so human, the characters are so real and go through so much and you feel every little bit of it. So relatable, adorable, painful sometimes, but mostly just pure emotion. The only thing I missed in this book is more pages, I just want more and more. I just couldn’t stop reading so it was over too soon! But no worries, there’s a sequel in the making!
Happy Pride! Whoever you are and whoever you love, happy reading!
#LGBT#Pride#romance#love#book#book rec#Book Recommendations#pride 2020#queer#gay#rg2universe#readers guide to the universe#top 10#benjamin alire sáenz#aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe#him#sarina bowen#elle kennedy#carry on#rainbow rowell#adam silvera#they both die at the end#red white and royal blue#casey mcquiston#heartstopper#alice oseman#lgbtq#lgbt books#Ranking#Alicia
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“He’s not my friend.”
Let me start by saying this: When we meet him, Show!Jaime has no friends. There’s no evidence that he’s ever had any friends. And, when we meet her, Show!Brienne also has no friends - these are two incredibly solitary people. Brienne is more self-sufficient. And Jaime winds up learning a lot of self-sufficiency from her. But neither of them are social creatures.
When Jaime and Brienne were taken by Locke, captor and captive silently allied - he stopped her rape and lost his hand for it, she in turn kept him alive and attempted to defend him when Locke’s men were kicking him into the mud. You can see him chipping away at her, but neither of them knows how to have friends, so even when it seems to be building to friendship, neither would see it that way. They only see it as subject to their circumstances. Or, to coin a phrase:
It wasn’t about loyalty it was about survival.
Between them, Jaime has always been the one to take the first step. In the baths he calls a truce. Tells her that he trusts her. Divulges a secret that no one else in the world knows, and it’s as if he’s finally cut through that thick armor of hers - we see it begin to dissolve - but when he falls and she catches him she still shouts for help calling him the Kingslayer. Because they may have each other’s trust now, but they’re still not friends - desperate as Jaime seems to be for one. She still sees him as a means to an end. Jaime being alive means there’s a chance to save the Stark girls.
When, at lunch with Roose Bolton, she reaches over and stabs the meat so he can cut it, it’s not friendship for her, it’s a mix of pity and annoyance. But Jaime’s never had anyone do something like that for him. Bolton sees them evolving right before his eyes, and we the audience identify it as a mutual friendship but these two idiots have no concept of what that means!
When Jaime reaches over and stops her from raising the knife, he’s returning her gesture in a way. When Bolton says he’ll allow Jaime to leave and Jaime tries to toast with Brienne over their impending departure, there’s a camaradarie there that Jaime is embracing even though Brienne is four steps behind him. But when Bolton pulls the rug from under them and says Brienne won’t be going... well that’s when things start to peek around a corner for these two.
Until that moment, Brienne assumes that Jaime still sees her as as much of a burden as she had seen him - as another fetter to be rid of - that his gestures are empty. Even if Jaime is of a mind to fulfill his oath to Catelyn, he doesn’t need Brienne to carry that out. Brienne isn’t the lynchpin, he is. She needs him to get back to King’s Landing in order for the girls to be safe, but she’s expendable. But here she finds the truth is that, while he doesn’t need her, he wants her as his ally and comrade and, yes, friend.
She’s realizing that she may be expendable to the mission, but she is less expendable to him.
Watch her. When Bolton calls her out for treason, she’s upset - it’s about her mission. When Jaime says he insists that she come with, she’s startled; she’s never heard him speak of her as if he has a personal stake in her well-being.
She’s realizing in that moment that the layout of their relationship has begun to shift beneath her - it’s now something that neither would have dreamt of. Their final meeting before his departure is a perfect snapshot of that. He regrets that he cannot take her, his former captor, with him - that he’s leaving her behind with his torturer, a man who had expressed a wish to harm her. She knows that he needs to get to King’s Landing, that’s it’s the only way for the oath to be fulfilled. But now she also knows what he is, and that he wants to do right by her - and she uses that to forward her mission; because Brienne hasn’t yet learned to put her own good into the equation. And as we’ve discussed, she’s already gotten pretty good at accepting the prospect of her own death.
When Jaime rides out of Harrenhal, Locke taunts him and suggests that they’ll “take good care” of Brienne, calling her his “friend.” Jaime considers a retort, but it doesn’t leave his mouth. No point in denying someone’s friendship when you don’t have a better word for what it is you have, and no point in claiming it when you’re leaving them behind. From the book-reader’s perspective, “friend” is just about the closest thing we’re going to get to Brienne being known as the Kingslayer’s whore; Jaime not denying it is therefore layered in subtext. This the second instance of someone seeing them more for what they are (though not on the mark) and not for what they themselves have perceived of their relationship.
I could sit here and wax rhapsodic about Jaime defying Steelshanks and leading the charge back to Harrenhal and running as fast as he could in his weakened state to recover her, but I won’t. We already know what that is - not since Aerys, and not until Brienne, would Jaime have ever done something like that for someone so wholly unrelated to him. Call it guilt, call it honor, I call it friendship. I call it love. It’s a small beginning, but Jaime was always the first to leap.
When he jumps into the pit and puts himself between her and the bear, he has no plan. There is no motivation there save for saving her. His goal is not to earn glory or even pay the debt he owes, it’s to see her live. This is obvious from the moment he pulls her, knocked down and injured, behind him so that he is confronting the bear, to when he boosts her out of the pit leaving himself - with one hand and no weapon - behind. He trusts himself to get her out with no evidence whatsoever that he will succeed, and he trusts her to get him out - if only because of her vow, though I think he flatters himself believing that she might actually prefer him to be alive, even without the vow. But he knows that, like MANY things in his life, that feeling could be one-sided, and he dives in anyway because he cares for her and does prefer she stay alive.
Once they’re out and Locke confronts them, Brienne stands behind Jaime, knowing - understanding - now that Jaime isn’t about to let Locke take her from him. She also knows that Jaime could not have returned and made the same show of WHATEVER THIS IS if Bolton hadn’t also left. (Though, our knowing Jaime, he might have tried.) The bear fight aside, this moment is an emotional continuation of the Bolton lunch - before she was surprised by his insistence, now she’s realizing that she can rely on it and can stand proud behind this man who has inserted himself as her friend. If Locke and his men had attacked, she was prepared to fight for their lives at Jaime’s back. Suddenly, mayyyyybe, the friendship is a little less one-sided.
By the time they get back to King’s Landing, their friendship has grown on both ends. We’ve missed so much by not getting to see them at all between Harrenhal and King’s Landing, and yet when they arrive, she’s dressed as suits her rather than still in the pink abomination, and when he’s pushed out of the way by the merchant at the gates, she shows him empathy.
That tiny little scene - and that tiny little gesture in her expression speaks volumes about the difference between these two people, now vs. their former selves, ESPECIALLY when it becomes a companion piece to Cersei’s response to Jaime’s arrival: that selfish wind-taken-out-of-her look she gives him when she sees his arm - pity - the kind of look that Brienne would never abuse him with.
The next time we see Jaime & Brienne together is one of my favorite microcosm micromoments - when she peers at him with that sardonic glare:
“Look me in the eye and tell me that you think she’ll be safe in King’s Landing.”
These two are a WORLD away from when he left her behind at Harrenhal and a UNIVERSE away from where they began, and it’s all in the subtleties. Because to an outsider - perhaps to everyone except Cersei - they are the same as they ever were - the cow and the Kingslayer. But in these close quarters they are new - they are Brienne and Jaime.
And I hate it because we don’t earn that friendship. We don’t see it growing, we only see the turning point and the end result. We didn’t get to see him forcing Steelshanks to buy her appropriate clothes on the road to King’s Landing (but you know he had to have) nor gifting the blue and tan Tarth-emblazoned clothes she wears once in King’s Landing; we didn’t get to see them huddling together armorless and wounded in the night on the road to King’s Landing while Qyburn tended to them. We only see the before and after. We don’t earn Cersei’s assessment of Brienne’s feelings, but we know it to be true only because we see the truth of it hit Brienne in the face.
And then comes the escape from King’s Landing, which I shan’t bore you with a second time - but it is the moment that solidifies for us what these two people have come to mean to each other, and how forcibly both of them are pushing down the stomach-flipping regard (it’s love) that they both have for one another. And now he’s sending her away. She used to see him as a means to an end, and now she thinks he’s doing the same to her. Brienne goes into the wilderness believing that the one person she’s ever let in anywhere near her heart is dismissing her. She does not comprehend what he’s risking for her, and therefore questions the strength of his regard, while he has literally given her his heart and is struggling not to follow it. She honest to god believes that their feelings for each other are too dissimilar to be mutual, while he’s over here knowing that their feelings for each other are too similar to be sustainable in the world they currently live in.
Those feelings are reintroduced the next time we see them together, two long years later at Riverrun. As far as we know, Jaime has had rare occasion to call her to his mind - almost exclusively when he’s rushing off to do something he sees as honorable like rescue his brother or retrieve his daughter. Brienne has had occasion to call him to her mind daily whenever she dons her studded jerkin and armor, whenever she buckles her lion and sunburst sword belt across her hips, whenever she wields the sword he gave her and which she named for him. And despite their (to our knowledge) dissimilar strengths of regard, they fall right back into their old routines - he says something nice, she blushes; he’s sarcastic with her, she slips into defense mode; they bicker - like friends do. But a deeper affection boils beneath the surface. And seeing her again reinvigorates Jaime, only to see him crushed almost immediately when she goes to leave.
When they part, they both know that their next meeting could very well be fatal. Jaime gives her the time he promised, and then he acts - not to lay siege to the castle, not to claim it for the Freys, and not to save his own men, but for Brienne��he fulfills an unspoken promise to take the castle without bloodshed. He does what he’s already proven himself capable of - what he needs to in order for her, his one friend, the one person he truly trusts, the only person he has ever loved without coercion, to live
Because he knows that when it comes down to it, she will put the mission first, and possibly die for it.
I’ve beaten around the bush enough, let’s talk about Brienne and the Blackfish.
Brienne crosses the siege line and enters the castle - without seeing her, the Blackfish would have formed an opinion of her relationship with the Lannister army. Then he sees her and the lion pommel and the lion and sunburst sword belt, and his opinion is translated to assessment - in his mind there is only one reason that she would be carrying Lannister gold. He calls Jaime her friend. This is a callback to Locke and Jaime at Harrenhal. Again - calling Brienne Jaime’s friend at Harrenhal was the closest we ever got to her being referred to as the Kingslayer’s whore. In the show universe, that’s the implication, and THAT is what Brienne is balking against.
“He’s not my friend” is not disloyalty, it’s not disownership, it’s not ambivalence or apathy. “He’s not my friend” is actually an embrace of their mutual regard - acknowledging that yes she vouches for him, but she did not come by the sword through sordid means, the Lannisters hold nothing over her (Jaime wouldn’t have it any other way), and he respects her free agency. As she told Cersei, she does not serve Jaime - she does love him, she does vouch for him, and she would fight beside him for the greater good, regardless of sworn loyalty and houses and oaths. Because their regard for one another is not born out of sexual favor or blackmail or underhanded political maneuvering, it has developed from shared experiences, sacrifice and love. They are two people who care for one another privately, and who do not require nor deserve the labels of others.
“He’s not my friend” is a veritable banner of #BraimeRights.
And that’s the tea.
#braime#jaime x brienne#brienne of tarth#jaime lannister#game of thrones#got#brienne x jaime#knight of the seven kingdoms#it is known#and that’s the tea in westeros#he’s not my friend
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Rufus Shinra Analysis in FFVII Remake (2020) vs FFVII (1997)
taken from my original thread on twitter here.
[MASSIVE REMAKE AND OG GAME SPOILERS, you have been warned]
From what we’ve seen in Final Fantasy VII Remake so far, Rufus (in my opinion) is 100% more interesting than he was in the original Final Fantasy VII. In the original game, Sephiroth/JENOVA infiltrates the Shinra building and murders everyone inside. Then, Sephiroth/JENOVA stabs President Shinra and leaves his body at his desk with Masamune sticking out of his back. Palmer, who had witnessed the entire thing, calls Rufus (who is in Junon) for backup. Rufus responds by boarding a helicopter to come assume command of the company in the wake of his father’s death.
Rufus arrives just as the protagonists discover President Shinra’s body, and they rush out to confront him. Rufus doesn’t know who they are, so he asks. Each of the gang gives a brief one-liner of their “occupations”, and Rufus responds with “what a crew” which is A REALLY GOOD SNARKY LINE I’M SAD ISN’T IN THE REMAKE. In Final Fantasy VII Remake, the part where the party reveals their ‘occupations’ is instead given to Heidegger, and only Aerith, Barret and Red XIII are present.
An interesting major divergence from the original game then happens in Remake. In the original, Rufus begins his inauguration speech:
That’s right. I’ll let you hear my new appointment speech. ...My old man tried to control the world with money. It seems to have been working. The population thought that Shinra would protect them. Work at Shinra, get your pay. If a terrorist attacks, the Shinra army will help you. It looks perfect on the outside. But, I do things differently. I’ll control the world with fear. It takes too much to do it like my old man. A little fear will control the minds of the common people. There’s no reason to waste money on them.
As Rufus begins by talking about how Shinra used to work, the player starts to think “Oh good, maybe things are about to change for the better. Maybe he’s a good guy!” WRONG.
Rufus then drops the bombshell that he has no intention of being ‘better’ than his father—in fact, he’s worse. While his father used money to rule, Rufus will instead rule with fear. I’m not sure why this speech was cut from the Remake, but my guess is that they’re going to keep it for a later instalment because it’s just a+ in terms of setting up just how cruel Rufus actually is.
In the original, Cloud then asks Barret to take Aerith and escape the building (present in Remake) because the revelation that Sephiroth is alive “is the true threat to the planet” (not present in Remake). when Rufus and Cloud are alone, Rufus asks, “why do you want to fight me?”
Cloud responds, “you seek the promised land and Sephiroth.” Rufus’ last line before the boss battle is “I see. I guess this means we won’t become friends.” THIS IS A REALLY INTERESTING LINE which is not in the Remake because OG!Rufus and Remake!Rufus are quite different.
In the original it is implied that Rufus was planning to team up with Cloud, or at least gain their support since they’re both going after Sephiroth. It’s only after Cloud refuses his offer that they fight, and the fight was more of a story fight than a true challenge.
HERE IS WHERE THE FINAL FANTASY VII REMAKE REALLY DIFFERS RE: RUFUS. Remake gives us a short scene with the Turks thinking back on their actions regarding the Sector 7 pillar, before Tseng gets a phone call from Rufus and says, “the VP needs us.” The Turks then leave.
The first time Rufus is seen is when the AVALANCHE helicopter is shot down, and Reno asks, “you sure you want to do this personally, boss?” to which Rufus smirks. In the original, Rufus arrives at the Shinra HQ because he heard that his father had died. In the Remake, Rufus was already on his way to Midgar when his father dies. Why is this? An important clue comes from the Turk-centric game Before Crisis, as well as the actual boss battle vs Rufus himself.
Before Crisis reveals that Rufus had previously planned to assassinate his father with the help of AVALANCHE but was found out. This assassination attempt is confirmed to be canon within the Remake from one of Heidegger’s lines early in the Remake. President Shinra placed Rufus under house arrest, but still retained him as VP (even if in name only). While fighting Rufus in the Remake, he tosses two coins in the air and the camera gives us a closeup of them. The coins read “Shinra Inc.” and “A New Era”, among other things.
Players of the original will know that “A New Age” is how Rufus brands his version of Shinra, particularly seen on his banners during his parade in Junon. Remake!Rufus has already managed to have his new currency minted BEFORE HIS FATHER EVEN DIES. So, what does this mean?
It means that what’s likely to be the case in Remake is that Rufus called Tseng to come pick him up because he’s either staging another coup/planning to take control right there and then. He just happened to have weird timing and arrived at the same time as Sephiroth/JENOVA and the protagonists, and his father had just died (at the hands of Sephiroth/JENOVA).
Rufus in the original didn’t show any sadness about his father dying, but Remake!Rufus appears to have taken that one step further in that he was preparing for another attempt, and had already had his new currency minted in preparation for his success and ascension.
It’s interesting also to compare President Shinra and Rufus. President Shinra is very much tied into the corporate structure—he rules using his wealth, he’s very business minded, and his closest allies are his execs. Rufus on the other hand prefers to use fear and black ops to get his way, which is shown by how he has a much stronger relationship with the Turks. The Remake showcases this internal conflict nicely with a brief scene near the end.
In this scene, Heidegger slips up and calls him “Mister Vice President”, which Rufus ignores. Tseng then walks in and says, “Mister President”, and Rufus replies, “that’s right.” Tseng smirks at Heidegger as they leave. This shows how Heidegger (and the other exec’s) control is being usurped by the Turks. I’m interested to see how the Shinra power struggles are going to be further explored in the Remake, because it’s one of my favourite parts of the whole game.
With regards to the actual boss battle itself, it’s very interesting how much stronger they’ve made Rufus in Remake. the original boss battle was very easy and was more of a story fight than a true fight. Rufus in the Remake is one of the hardest bosses because he just fucking counters EVERYTHING you do. he’s DESIGNED to be irritating as shit to the player, because he has a single attack that staggers him instantly, but the game doesn’t tell you what it is. Furthermore, the way Rufus fights is incredibly flashy—spins and twirls, shooting coins, etc. it’s all a dance to him. It’s very strongly implied that he must have been trained by the Turks, because he’s still a regular human, but he’s on a comparable level to Reno and Rude, if not even stronger.
In the original, Rufus fights Cloud because Cloud refuses to let him leave, Cloud having recognized him as a threat. In the Remake, Rufus HIMSELF chooses to fight Cloud. He willingly gets out of his helicopter to confront cloud BECAUSE HE WANTS TO. Reno even points out that Rufus doesn’t have to do it personally, but Rufus craves a fight with cloud. Rufus in the Remake fights cloud for sport and takes great pleasure in doing it as well.
In the Remake he comes off as a highly dangerous opponent who is both smart AND a capable fighter, giving Cloud a run for his money, while in the original he was pretty much just trust fund kid with shotgun and dog.
Remake!Rufus and Dark Nation/Darkstar combo off each other incessantly, implying that they’ve been fighting together for a very long time. Rufus also CONSISTENTLY taunts you throughout the entire fight, while Cloud (and the player) are getting really annoyed at him.
All of these elements set Rufus (and by extension, New Age!Shinra) up to be way stronger and more dangerous opponents than they were in the original game, where after the beginning Midgar portion they were pretty much just joke opponents vs the real threat, Sephiroth.
Another extra thought: Why can Rufus seemingly see the whispers?
The whispers are said in the Remake to be drawn to people who attempt to alter destiny’s course and ensure that they do not. Rufus seems to be able to see them, but Tseng cannot, and is confused by it. I’m assuming what this means is that Rufus’ actions have already defied fate in some way. Nothing of what he did on-screen really changed the original game’s timeline, so I think this means that he has done something off-screen that we the player hasn’t seen yet, but had timeline changing effects. Another idea is that in the original game Rufus and Shinra just “follow” sephiroth in the same way cloud and co. do. If the Remake is giving Rufus/Shinra more agency, as well as Cloud and co. themselves, it’s not hard to imagine that now Rufus himself can possibly pursue new timelines/events, rather than just following after Sephiroth. In the original, you have parties of people just following “Sephiroth” to the northern crater for the Reunion, but now all bets are off. Rufus also “dies” in the original and Advent Children retconned it, and I’m wondering if this means Rufus is also defying his fate to “die” on top of Shinra HQ near the endgame.
I'm REALLY interested in this re-imagining of Rufus and Shinra, and i can't wait to see more of them in remake. THANK YOU FOR READING ALL THESE MUSINGS ON MY FAVOURITE CHARACTER IN FFVII.
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SUBJECTIVE OPINION TIME re: Rhea
Me: * Finishes Empire Route * Maybe it’s just because both dogmatic zealots and quasi-parental figures than only love you “conditionally” tend to set me off personally, but man, Rhea is scary
People: “Well she goes off the deep end there, in the other routes she’s much nicer”
Me: Alright then lets see what nice Rhea is like * waits for it *
[...]
Me: ...where is it?
Rhea: *Is barely IN the other routes* *Never once talks to any of the people who are so loyal to her* *it looks more and more like Edelgard did everyone a solid by removing her from the equation and they dont even know it*
Rhea’s support chain: is nothing but major creepo vibes (and some Jeralt backstory I guess) - you do get “personal space plz” dialogue options so this isn’t entirely unintentional
Rhea’s S support: “I fabricated a false history, deceived everyone and was literally giddy about the prospect of you becoming a meat puppet until you offered me your tits/dick”
the vibe is very much “This character was basically evil until just now, but sinse she’s somewhat (sym?)pathetic we’re letting you redeem her if you’re really comitted to it” - and why not? Video games are all about freedom. And it makes total sense that she could be swayed by someone acting as a strong protector to her since she has a very childish, self-centered mentality and basically wants her mommy.
Just saying, none of the lords require you to screw them for them to listen to reason. You could run off with their best friends if you wanted.
Alliance Route: Edelgard was right about the censorship and shady meddling... actually, it’s even worse, because she’s to blame for the rampant xenophobia and closed-mindedness too!
I already suspected that Nemesis wasn’t going to turn out to actually have been good/ that there must be a bit more to it, but I’d had a lot more sympathy if she hadn’t basically enslaved 1000 years worths of humans for something their distant ancestors did. Nemesis and the elites were dead. In fact she killed them, and rightly so! But even if she could kill them again and again it wouldn’t bring back Sothis. And what did the commoners ever do to deserve this?
All while the actual Culprits go unchecked, cheerfully inflicting similar slaughter on, say, Edelgard’s and Dimitri’s families.
They had sad backstories too. Almost the same one (”Agarthans killed my whole clan”). What did Edelgard do with it? Decide that she will uproot both the meddling shadow factions, end inequality and give power to the people even if she has to give up everything she cares about, so the same never happens to anyone else. Sure, she had a much harder time trusting or connecting with people and dealt poorly with being cornered but she recognizes that her classmates aren’t to blame for what their fathers did. What did Dimitri do with it? Well he struggles alot, but he definitely developed empathy for the downtrodden and other victims of violence and he makes an effort to be aware of his shortcomings and be a good person most of the time. He never believes that trying to do good or fight evil means that hes perfect or cant be criticised. At some point he definitely held some resentment against Adrestians as a whole (not just Arundel or Edelgard themselves), but he got over that and became a dedicated peacemaker.
Both of them have more maturity and self-awareness at 23 than Rhea has at 23 hundred.
Church Route: Well, at least Mama Eisner actually DID die of natural causes and there’s no indication that she mistreated her ‘experiments’ in anyways, but it can’t have been great for Byleth’s mom, to grow up knowing that she’s considered a ‘failure’, that her mother figure would so much rather that someone else take her place and is just waiting for her to die of old age so she could repeat the process.
And then there’s how she made all the higher ups of the church drink her blood/ crest stones
Would this have happened to Jeralt if he hadn’t died when he did? Heavens could she have monsterified anyone who disagreed at any time?!
And just to twitch the knife she just HAS to call poor Byleth “mother”to their face at the very end after they went through all the trouble to rescue her and forgave her for the meat puppet thing.
Kingdom Route:
- The Ashe/Cassandra support DEAR GOD
...did she just get off scot free?
It’s not like I want her dead, per se, just not-a-threat-anymore.. She lives in her S support but she also partially recognizes her wrongdoings and that she’s unfit to rule and even goes on to atone, so, no objections from me. Whereas here we never see her realize that she was wrong in any way. Sure she’s stepped down but she’s probably discarded and assumed new identities a bajillion times. Just because she CAN cause trouble again doesn’t mean she will but if it were me I’d want some minimal assurance that she wont...
People: “But she has a sad backstory/sympathetic motivations/characterization other than muahaha”
Me: That’s decent writing, not morality.
By “evil” I don’t mean “cackling disney villain”, I mean that a certain critical mass of badness is present and that her motivations are mainly selfish at other’s expense. Sanctimonious delusions just make it worse.
Like you might feel sympathy towards some guy who was beaten by his father until you find out that he then went on to beat humiliate and mistreat his own children. It’s the same principle, though I recognize that this is by naturally subjective.
She’s clearly intended to be tragic/pitiable and I’m certainly not going to get on anyone’s case for feeling sorry for or emphatizing with her (let alone liking her - you’re allowed to like antagonists and not every opinion has to be some great act of moral value)
But wether or not one wants to use the label “evil” which by nature is a subjective emotion-charged thing, or the entirely separate question of what one would or wouldn’t view as appropriate countermeasures, there’s no denying that the results of her actions were net negative and that she was just plain incompetent and accountable to no one. And she wasn’t ever gonna stop.
It’s hard to give her a pass for being childish when Edelgard, Claude and Dimitri (eventually) take on so much responsibility and determinedly pursue altruistic goals though they are young and inexperienced.
As I see it, Rhea’s a “rule the world” villain whereas the Agarthans are a “destroy the world” one. Lawful vs Chaotic evil. Out of the two you’d probably prefer to be subjugated by Rhea because she’ll act as a benevonent tyrant as long as you do not openly defy her but both view the surface-dwelling people as lowly animals. In Rhea’s case, you get to be the pet cat, and she may even protect you like a pet cat. But pet cats dont get any say in how they are governed.
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Carson vs. Low Blood Sugar
Set in the past when Carson was in college and had a class with Daniel which is how they met. They are 22 and 21 here. I basically just wrote this because I’m going to university now so Carson is back at uni too.
When the professor asked them to form groups of four for the upcoming project, Carson naturally partnered up with the only person in the class he'd spoken two words to - Danny. The weird guy that still sits next to him despite all the other open seats and Carson’s obvious discomfort. But Carson was quick to believe the lie that the open seats were farther back and he wouldn't be able to see the board as well. Sure Carson could move, but he was far too stubborn for that.
The room erupted in groans when the teacher announced the group project. Everyone assumed everyone else was just going to slack off and force them to do the work of all four people. Daniel wasn't too sure about being in a group with Carson himself because even though he was studious and had good grades, it was entirely possible he'd sleep through every group session and just shrug it off later.
Two girls who sat in the row in front of them asked to join since it made the most sense. They introduced themselves as Kelsey and Ava and smiled shyly at the two guys.
Carson's interest in them ended at, "Sure, whatever." And Daniel's interest ended at Carson. Unfortunately it didn't seem like they would be spared any of the awkwardness that came with group projects.
"We should exchange numbers, so we can make plans to meet up." Kelsey suggested.
"Yeah and we can meet at the library, there's a cafe there too if anyone wants food or coffee." Ava chimed in.
"Sounds good," Daniel said. Then they passed around their phones sharing info. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't secretly happy to be handed the perfect excuse for getting Carson's number. Daniel had been thinking of asking him for the last few weeks but figured he'd be shut down with something like, "Sorry man, I don't have a phone number" while quickly shoving his iPhone into the pocket of his hoodie. If he wasn't so God damn cute Daniel would have given up already seeing what a piece of work he was. Eventually he'd find out why he was so cold to people.
After each group was formed and picked a topic the professor let them go half an hour early. Carson put in his earbuds and prepared to make a run for it but Daniel subtly blocked his path.
"So what do you think of this project?" He asked.
Carson paused and sighed, "Shouldn't be too hard if everyone has read the assigned reading. You did do the reading right?"
Danny rubbed the back of his neck, "Of course I did." He said unconvincingly.
"Good." With that Carson left.
--
The group made plans to meet two days later at the group study rooms on the fifth floor of the library.
Saturday was surprisingly beautiful. The weather was nice for Fall and Carson could feel the sun on his skin as soon as he stepped outside. Too bad he'd spend the whole day working on a stupid project about the popularity of tragedies in Shakesperian Era writing.
When he got to the library Danny was standing outside leaning against the building. He pushed off when he saw him and pulled something out of his pocket. Carson reached for the door but stopped cold when a printed copy of a news article was thrust in front of him.
Daniel looked at him excitedly, "Is this you?"
Carson stared down at it and had to quickly restrain his reaction. He recognized it immediately. The article was from his local paper when he was 14, the title read, "Local Boy Defies Physics Stopping Car from Hitting a Child."
Daniel had spent the previous night cyberstalking Carson after he finally finished all the assigned reading. There was absolutely no trace of him on social media but he did find several odd news articles. His name was also listed by the college as a Graduate of Human Biology.
"Yeah that's me, but every word in that article is false. I hope you didn't waste too much time reading it," Carson said dryly. He sidestepped him and walked into the library. It was practically deserted. Not having an actual excuse for the claims in the article, Carson really hoped he could avoid it altogether.
"It says that a car was heading towards an eight year old girl when it suddenly stopped, the front crumpled in like it hit an invisible wall a mere foot away from collision. There's even a picture. The car is stopped in the middle of the road with nothing else around it but it's beat to shit. Then that looks like you, kind of, maybe."
Carson's eyes dulled like this conversation was utterly exhausting. "If you're that curious, the car in the picture swerved to hit another car to protect the child crossing the street. The first car drove away in a hit and run. And if you want the real gossip, I'm pretty sure it was my history teacher." Carson said. Everyone in his town knew what he was and jumped on the chance to blame him as often as they could so he got used to lying on his feet.
"Really? I guess that makes sense. But why does it say that you passed out on the scene and got taken to the hospital. I mean, there was a whole car accident and you were the only person that got hurt?" He laughed.
Carson shot him a murderous glare, "It was very surprising." Daniel looked down at the ground in shame.
"Sorry..."
"Kids came up with a lot of rumors and bullied me until the rest of the town believed them. I bet this isn't only paper you found making crazy accusations."
Once inside Carson headed towards the cafe instead of the group study rooms.
"Well, sorry to hear that. So were you bullied a lot in school then?" He asked curiously. Daniel was determined to figure him out and he couldn't do that without striking a nerve or two.
"You sure ask a lot of questions."
Carson got in line with Daniel following closely behind. He finally went quiet after that last remark. It was already a few minutes past the time they were all supposed to meet but knowing how long they could be working, it was too much of a risk not to get coffee first.
He felt around in his pockets when he got to the register. "Oh shit, I don't think I brought my wallet." Carson said, giving Danny an expectant look. He figured he had him feeling just guilty enough to buy him a cappuccino.
"Ugh, fine," he pulled out his old leather wallet and handed the lady a 5.
Carson laughed, "that's such a dad wallet."
"What does that even mean?"
--
When they got up to the fifth floor, coffee in hand, the two girls were nowhere to be found. Figures. Daniel used the group chat to ask them where they were. After all it was possible they were simply late.
"We went to the desk but they wouldn't give us a room, so now we're wandering." Daniel relayed the message to Carson who frowned in thought.
"Tell them to come back up. I'll get us a room."
Looking suspicious enough already this was probably a terrible idea but he was impatient and little pissed off to be honest. He quickly turned towards the rooms, hoping to make it to one before this Danny guy so he wouldn't see him open it.
"Wait how are you going to do that? The help desk is that way," he asked, jogging to catch up. Great.
If the desk lady wouldn't give those girls a room then she probably wouldn't give him one either, also he just didn't feel like dealing with that. Daniel made it clear he wouldn't be too easy to shake off, getting rid of his plan to just open the door with magic. Instead he got out his student ID and pretended to swipe the scanner next to the door. The red dot turned green as he did.
"Woah. Do you have special access or something?" Danny asked.
Carson just hummed vaguely and sat down in the first chair he saw. He'd been doing such a good job not doing any magic since he moved out that even a little trick like that was tiring. Carson didn't want his reputation to follow him to university, but now that he was almost done with his Masters degree he found himself caring less and less.
Pulling out his own phone, Carson texted the group chat, "508."
Danny still had that childlike look of amazement on his face when he looked up again and Carson groaned internally.
"Where else can you get into?" He asked excitedly.
"Wherever I want. Wake me up when they get here." Carson pulled his hood up and laid his head down on the table. He wasn't really going to sleep, he just needed a break from talking. God this was going to be a long day.
Carson heard Kelsey and Ava talking long before they made it to the study room. They clearly knew each other before taking this class.
"Hi, how have you been?" Kelsey walked in first, carrying her own coffee cup, she looked at them both, her face pinching in thought, "Daniel and... Carson?" She struggled to put a name to the back of Carson's hood.
Now for the most interesting part of any group project, seeing who would take charge first. Carson finally straightened back up as they sat down on opposite sides of the table, putting Ava next to him.
"So, Tragedy, where do we start?" She asked.
Carson sat back and waited while everyone looked around awkwardly.
"Hey how did you get a room anyway that bitch at the counter made up some policy about needing a professor's permission for these rooms." Kelsey commented.
Daniel's face lit up again, "oh you should have seen it. Carson just swiped his ID and opened the door like magic."
Thank god Carson had just swallowed his coffee because otherwise he'd be choking on it at the mention of "magic".
"This is a library, not a bank. I just opened the door," Carson said lamely. "Anyways, we need to divide up tasks before we do anything else, and come up with a central theme so we're all on the same page. I think we should address the political implications of Tragedies written around that time. They were widely popular but very controversial."
Everyone stopped and stared at him. Either he'd completely lost them or he'd gotten more antisocial than he thought if that was a shocking amount of words to come out of his mouth. Internally Carson was cursing himself for accidentally taking on the role of the leader. He'd have to work even harder to pawn off that responsibility now.
"Right. I think the professor wants us to use quotes from the literature in the project but he also expects us to do a little research and come up with a thesis, not just a word by word analysis of the reading," Ava said. Meanwhile Kelsey was muttering something under her breath about the professor having a stick up his ass.
It looked like they were finally getting on track when Ava stopped suddenly, "hey what happened on the first day of class?" She asked.
Carson's blood turned to angry sludge. He was really tired of explaining himself. "Nothing, happened, I'm just clumsy."
He shot Daniel a look who thankfully tried to smooth things over, "Yeah he just tripped into the desk and it made a lot of noise, they ought to just nail them down." Ava hummed in response, not quite satisfied with that answer but ready to drop it.
--
After coming up with ideas for their individual parts they did some quiet work. That way they could have an outline done to share before they leave. The longer Carson strained to read the tiny text in his book the more he realized he was getting a headache. Not a migraine, but he didn't feel great. They'd been working on this for hours now, Carson checked his phone to see just how long it had actually been. They got to the library at 3pm and it was now closing in on 8pm. The worst part? He'd woken up late, gotten dressed, then came straight here. Meaning he'd slept through breakfast and forgotten lunch. Typical. You'd think after living alone for a few years a person would learn to take care of themself.
Daniel gave him an odd look, "Did you leave the oven on or something?"
Carson frowned. How the hell was this guy always so good at reading him? "No, it's nothing."
He really, really wished that it was nothing and he could just go back to reading but his body was making itself clear that it would not be neglected so easily. A dizzy feeling flowed through him as the blood rushed through his head. He felt sick.
Low blood sugar, it had it's own unmistakable brand of awful. Carson quickly shoved his hands under the table so it wouldn't so obvious that they were starting to shake. His brain frantically searched for solutions. The cafe? Closed. Snacks? Didn't pack any. Vending Machine? Yes. He had enough change in his jacket to get something from the vending machine he'd spotted near the bathrooms. It would look less suspicious if he waited a few minutes then left casually but a sudden churning in his stomach decided for him. The time to leave is right now, or better yet, five minutes ago.
Carson pushed way from the table clumsily then stepped around it to get to the door. Daniel followed him with his eyes which were now pinched with concern. He wanted to follow him and ask if he was okay, but valuing his life, he decided to just let him go with no further comment.
Carson was visibly unsteady on his feet. He wasn't diabetic so low blood sugar wouldn't kill him but it sure felt like it could. A general numbness spread through his body. Next was the mysterious cold sweat that he could distinctly feel despite knowing his skin was completely dry and the clammy feeling was just in his head. His body had a tendency to wait until the very last second to alert him of a problem which was why all the symptoms seemed to slam into him at once.
"Just make it to the vending machine and get a snack. You just have to make it that far." Carson urged himself as he wove between tall bookshelves. He was starting to feel a bit light headed too. Perfect.
The vending machines came into sight in front of him, tucked into their own little alcove. He was so close, so close, so... nauseous. Gonna throw up. Change of plans. He walked right past the machines and into the men's bathroom, his heart sunk as he did. But throwing up in the hallway was simply not an option. He dove for the furthest stall and just barely got the door locked before dry-heaving over the toilet. After a few unproductive minutes of that he coughed up some the coffee he had earlier and his stomach finally seemed satisfied after rearranging its contents. Carson leaned against the wall heavily, sliding down to sit on the tile. Why am I like this? Oh right it's because I'm forgetful, irresponsible, and stupid he chided himself. Closing his eyes, Carson focused on regaining his strength so he could at least buy some food then come back to this spot. He was finally about to stand up when the door swung open. Carson froze.
"Carson, are you in here?"
It was Danny, of course.
"Yeah," he replied. It would only seem more weird if he didn't respond.
"You've been gone kinda a long time. The girls were starting to get worried." He said tentatively.
"Well I'm fine, so either take a piss or get out, would you?" Carson snapped impatiently. He wished Daniel would just shut the door already so he could suffer in peace.
Daniel rolled his eyes, "It's getting late so everyone wants to wrap up, make sure we all know what to work on, and go home. So are you coming back now?" He asked. Usually his line of questioning would be more like "Are you okay?" "What are you doing in here?" "Do you need any help?" "Are you sick?" but with Carson he'd learned the beat around the bush a little knowing he wouldn't answer any direct questions like that nicely.
Carson tried to push himself to a stand up but ended up tripping over his own feet somehow, ending up on his hands and knees. Guess that answers that question. "No," he said plainly.
"What'll it take to get you out of this bathroom?" Danny sighed, still standing by the door. He'd heard shuffling just now but still didn't really know what Carson was doing in there.
With a grimace Carson swallowed his pride and asked for help, "Um, a bag of crackers would be nice."
Daniel's brows furrowed at the strange request, but even more so at the small voice it was requested in. Crackers? That was really what he wanted right now?
"Okay, wait here."
A moment later he came back in with a small bag of cheezits and bent over looking for Carson's feet to see which stall he was in. He was surprised to see that he was most likely sitting down against the furthest wall. In the back of Daniel's mind he noted that being on the ground was a bad sign.
Meanwhile Carson was cringing with every fiber of his being. He hated being like this. If Daniel had just left he probably could have gotten them himself and avoided all this. But truthfully he still felt a little dizzy and sick.
"Um, so what did you want crackers for? You're not going to eat them in here are you? That's unsanitary." Daniel called out before sliding the bag under the door.
Just seeing the bag ignited a gnawing hunger in him. Whatever half-formed insult he had on the tip of his tongue was quickly forgotten in favor of food. Sweet, sweet sustenance. Carson tore open the bag and threw a few into his mouth, careful not to eat them too quickly.
"You know this is super weird right?" Danny asked.
"Whatever," Carson grumbled. His voice was muffled by the crackers.
"Wait a second," he paused, "were you hiding in here... because you were hungry? Seriously?" Daniel scoffed. As tough as his deskmate liked to act, he was surprisingly childish.
"Well you don't have to be a dick about it. Low blood sugar is a real and serious condition, asshole," Carson muttered. There was no real anger to his words though. He just had a habit of swearing more when being defensive. Daniel stopped laughing.
There was a rapping on the door, "Um, it's Ava. What the hell is taking you guys so long?" She called out.
"We'll be back in a minute," Daniel yelled back.
"That's what you said when you left ten minutes ago," she said impatiently.
Carson scooped out the last of the crumbs from his bag of crackers and got up. He still felt a little off but the threat of throwing up or passing out upon standing was no longer there so that's good. He reluctantly unlocked the door and walked past Danny to get to the sink.
"You look, not-healthy."
Carson scowled and took a look at himself in the mirror before splashing some water on his face. Daniel was right, despite being a lot steadier there was still a sickly paleness to his face.
--
They walked back to the study room where Kelsey and Ava were already half-packed up and ready to go. Carson sat back down in his seat and glanced at all the papers scattered across the table.
"So here's the plan..." Ava gave a detailed description of everything they'd decided since he left. It was a solid outline. And if anyone had any more questions they could just text between meet-ups.
"Oh look, it's already pretty dark outside. I hadn't even noticed," Kelsey said peeking through the blinds. "Now I'll have to have walk home in the dark."
"College campuses have some the highest rates of sexual assault." Carson said absentmindedly.
"Why would you say that right now?" Kelsey shivered.
Carson looked up at everyone's mildly horrified faces, "What? It's true, it's dangerous out there. People need to be careful." He defended.
"Well now you both have to walk us home, since you kept us here so late doing whatever the hell you were doing." Ava said crossing her arms.
"You say that like I wasn't already going to walk you home," he said. Good job Carson, real smooth. Ava's expression turned blank and confused for a second before going back to it's previous tense, subtle annoyance.
"Fine, let's get going. It would make sense to walk with whoever lives closest to each other. I live off campus."
"Same," Carson added.
Kelsey and Daniel both lived close to the dorms so it made sense for them to go together.
#whump#my OC's#OC fic#college days#prequel#Carson Hall#Daniel Hopkins#headache#low blood sugar#forgetting to eat#dizzy#unsteady#Carson was even crankier back then#Daniel is just a curious puppy#magic use#not edited
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◇◆Ailey Villains Gallery: Scarecrow◇◆
Scarecrow's face claim: Adrien Brody
Secret vs Scarecrow! How did they met?
Ailey (Secret) and Scarecrow met 'thanks' to Batman:
One night in Gotham, Scarecrow infiltrated the Iceberg Lounge with the intention to Kill some of Penguin's Henchmen.
With a more "upgraded" (and letal) version of his fear gas.
Just as a way to send a message to Oswald who had stolen some of his gas and now was selling it for a very high price on the dark market.
To prevent Batman from intervening, Scarecrow convinced Riddler and Dr Pig to create a "distraction" (if murdering almost 11 people between the two and then make an "spectacle" about it, can be called like that) for the Bat.
And unfortunately when the "Caped Crusader" realized it was a trap (thanks to one of Riddler's "funny" riddles) he was already too far from the building.
Too far from stopping Scarecrow.
He analyzed all of his options pretty fast: he couldn't send Damian, he was with him, Dick was in Blüdhaven, He already send Tim after Riddler and Steph after Pig, Cass and Barbara where in another state with the Birds of prey, Duke and Kate where teaming up to solve a crime involving a new rising homicidal cult and Jason…he wasn't in good terms with Jason…again…and he losed his track at least 2 weeks ago.
And so…he reluctantly took the phone and dialed the number of the one person he could think of.
Ailey was doing the usual: shouting angrily and throwing a tantrum towards her employees (like the good little tyrant she is) for a last minute cancellation of 4 of the stellar models for the upcoming Winter collection of SVELLYO. When all of a sudden she received a call from the one and only: Bruce fucking Wayne.
—B! What a perfect timing! Is not bothersome at all!—she remarked the words sarcastically annoyed a tone that sounded like the venomous hissing of a snake.
—Listen Ailey, I don't have time for thi-
She cut him off
—What a coincidence! Neither do I, B's man! Byee~
—Ailey…—He didn't shout at her but his more menacing (than usually) tone, make her feel like he did; it was a voice tone that Bruce normally just used when he was with Joker and when he used it. Oh boy, You just knew the man ain't taking any shit.
—Listen to me. And listen. C A R E F U L L Y. Scarecrow is in the Iceberg Lounge it's 2 minutes away from you by flying. I need you to go after him and prevent whatever he's up to against Cobblepot.—He said a little more ""nicer"" (if it's even possible) this time, but still with a hint of frustration in his voice.
—yeah…well…I also need this little favor, B—Bruce was about to fucking lose it in that moment, there where lives in danger and this CHILD was just thinking of herself!! But before he could lash out at her with a "I'm dissapointed" speech; Damian took the phone.
—He said he'll do it, you have my word. Now…Go! —Robin said without thinking twice
—Thank you, my zelenyy*! I'm on my way! —and with an Angry Bruce Lashing out at every single thing on earth on the background, Ailey hanged up, wrote a quick note to his secretary, asking him to give all of her employees a rise (including him, of course) and sprinted out to SVELLYO's roof top; without a word to the perplexed staff.
Once she stood there.She could feel the cold night breeze hitting her face and without any doubt she jumped abruptly from one of the highest points in the city.
Her eyes opened at the middle of his falling, adrenaline and renewed energy cursing trough her veins, her blonde hair replaced with a glowing rose gold, a metalic blue growing in her gaze and her outfit conveniently transformed on an all black bodysuit with slight hints of gold on the bottom of her sleeves.
His whole body defying gravity, flying through the night sky with the same grace and glory of a swan and leaving a subtle trace of light glowing pink as she passed by.
She arrived at the Iceberg Lounge back entrance at least 5 seconds earlier from what Batman had predicted.
Penguin's henchmen where all gathered in what appeared to be a small cellar on the very back of the casino, they were complaining about an out of the blue"meeting".
Secret (Ailey) assumed it was Scarecrow's way to get them all in the same place and avoid any unnecessary complications.
With extreme caution she stood and watched near the skylight, trying to fade away her own slightly glowing nature with the moonlight.
Her eyes searched quickly inside the room, ans she soon spotted atleast 6 gas tanks oddly put in some of the poorly lighted corners of the cellar.
But no sign of the maniac
Or so she though until the abrupt pain in her neck and the obscure presence behind her sooner than later make her realize; she wasn't alone.
She could feel the infernal pain from the toxin filling his lungs and cutting her breath and her vision becoming a little bit dizzy.
—You should know better than spying on people, dear…It might not end up being what you expected—his voice was deep and unforgiving, a condescending tone and the weight of countless sleepless nights leaked through every word.
She tried to speak but only felt her throat closing.
—Now, now, dear…all will end up soon. —His tall and lanky figure covered by worn out clothes to match his own psychotic aesthetic made him look intimidating. And without any glimpse of empathy he proceeded to toss her body aside with a kick like if she was a filthy dead rat, and continue to watch expectantly to the ignorant henchmen above.
He was waiting, waiting for one of them to foolishly reveal where his beloved toxin was and after a couple of minutes one of them casually mentioned a secret basement where the most important items waited patiently for whoever was able to afford his almost ridiculously expensive price.
Crane smiled wickedly to himself…he had just what he wanted…almost.
He activated the slightly hidden tanks of fear gas and watched in admiration as some of the henchmen faces started to change into a horrified expression.
—Head's up, asshole!—He didn't even had time to process the situation properly, when Secret's hands where at both sides of his head, the tip of her fingers illuminated and emanating Rose gold strings of pure energy attaching themselves to Crane's mind.
And at that exact moment he remembered: the pain, the panic, the fear.
The very first time he tested his toxin, was on himself: he was laying in to that dirty old shack for what felt like an eternity; he screamed and begged and yet the hallucinations didn't leave him, his mind was racing with the most horrible thought it could possibly even consider, everything so real and yet so distant. He felt hopeless.
And the delicate strings clinging tight around his mind. Lord, what a bittersweet nostalgia! He felt the same, the same way as the first time, he could hear the screams, the voices, the endless discontent. But couldn't find anything around him…just…hollow and for some strange reason…that scared the shit out of him.
Ironically it had been years since the last time Crane felt genuine fear.
When Crane woke up, he was already in that horrible place: a worn out cell from Arkham
But strangely he didn't feel any kind of anger or frustration. No…he felt…elated in the best way possible almost like if he had reborn!
And so…he stood there; staring blankly at the small window with an almost devilish smile across his face.
Waiting for the next encounter
◆◇◆◇
Ailey felt so proud of herself, she had successfully managed to knock out Scarecrow, control the gas leak and save Penguin's henchmen! All alone! And even took the liberty to recover all of Crane's toxin samples Penguin had!
She couldn't wait to see Bruce's face, Oh that man owed her BIG TIME!
When Bruce and Damian finally arrived at the Batcave, he was welcomed by her.
She looked like a 10 year-old who approved one of his test and was proudly showing off the paper to his parents.
Wich made Bruce smile…a little (even if he doesn't admit to it)
—See? You can trust me, B!—she said handing him the samples.
—So you send him to Arkham? Hmm…honestly I didn't though you'll made it…but good job…I guess…?—Damian admitted, while taking off his mask.
—Well, I'm glad I'm not THAT disappointing, sir! —Her tone expressing the sarcasm and slight frustration and offence in every word. Which Damian only replayed with a faint little smile.
—…Good Job, Ailey…—Bruce spoke for the first time since they arrived
—…and thank you for your help…—He completed with a slightly more """friendly""" tone (which just means less stiffness in his voice but still maintaining his authoritarian tone)
—yeah…well…don't thank me yet…we had a deal!—She said while playfully floating around him and touching the ears of his Bat-suit; Bruce could only do as much as to touching the bridge of his nose trying to contain his very obvious nuisance.
—…What do want? —He said sighing heavily.
—Nothing much, really! I want You, Damian, Dick and Katy modeling for SVELLYO winter collection catwalk, next week! —
◆◇◆◇
OMG! That was fun! I was going to put a small and cute little drawing of Ailey touching the ears of the Bat-suit but I still haven't finished yet! So yeah…I will edit it once I have it done!
Anyway! I loved writing this, and I will be uploading more content for Ailey, wich now she has her official anti-hero name! And is called
🥁🥁🥁🥁
Secret!
Shout out to @melyaliz / @insideoflit for the name idea! I honestly struggle so much with names 😅
Thanks to @Shiro.GURu (on insta) for helping me with this! Love ya, girl <3
Tagging: @lobodesaturno @snowflake2sstuff @lord-carstairs @weam0theblueblues @morefarthanaway
#batfamily#bruce wayne#batman#OC#scarecrow#antihero#dc comics#damian wayne#robin#jonathan crane#ailey#greek mythology#adrien brody#edit#hedcanons#imagine#villian#lol bye
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just watched The Guy Who Didnt Like Musicals a second time. i didnt really process the songs properly the first time and didnt like them but now i can actually hear the tunes as intended and i love this whole thing so much. so im gonna ramble about this musical for a bit. spoilers ahead if u havent watched yet (its on youtube)
ive seen a few of the theories ppl have about the delivery of the musical, and about what happens at the end especially. i think i wanna try my hand at it too because sometimes i enjoy interpreting details. and im a gigantic sucker for reprises that stitch together all the songs we just heard into its own frankenstein song that completely changes in meaning or tone based on all the info we absorbed over the course of the program. and boi the last song of the show sure fuckin delivers
ok well i need to start at the beginning though. some ppl are confused by what the opening lil song and dance is within the context of the musical, because it introduces the main character, but at that point no one is infected yet so it just seems like standard musical stuff in the viewpoint of the audience, who expects this. but the entire plot of this musical is that the characters’ world slowly BECOMES a musical due to alien spores from a meteor infecting everyone to act as a harmonious hive mind. so in this sense its two musicals at the same time: the musical that starkid productions wrote, and the looser ‘musical’ that the alien entity is orchestrating during its antagonism of the main character. i believe that the opener takes place after at least a partially successful domination of the populace, mostly because of the fact that the characters who participate in that song are referring to ‘themselves’ in the third person and are dancing all hunched and menacingly, exactly how the alien spore compels people to dance later on in the plot. that plus a line that i might be recalling correctly about how the main character is their final story to tell, makes me certain that this is the alien telling that story
as for the main character paul’s absence from that song, i really think thats something intended in the musical to introduce what paul is like in the most succinct way possible. the guy just did not like musicals. throughout the plot he is constantly defining himself by his lack of participation, so of course the cheekiest way to set that up is to have him not participate in the opener. i think the confusing part here is when the story actually begins, because if the opener was performed by the future infected characters, when is the line drawn to differentiate between the two musicals that are happening (starkid musical vs alien musical)? or is the whole thing a performance by the alien entity? in which case, everyone on that stage is simply acting out the story as determined by the hive mind. but to whom, if everyone’s infected? i’ll get back to that later
another thing i love about this musical is how gradually tired of paul’s shit the alien entity becomes over the course of the plot, as evidenced by the tone of the songs. it just gets worse and worse. the alien’s songs turn from sickeningly cheerful to enticing, to threatening, to evoking hopelessness, then finally to pressuring paul past his breaking point. some of the songs arent even directed at paul but the change still happens, which goes to show the alien entity’s frustration. and at the end when the infected find emma, the song is happy again. they sing that awesome reprise, a really energetic mashup in which its hard not to feel like the alien plague is unstoppable. inevitable, one might say.
speaking of the end... paul’s confrontation with the meteor (my absolute favorite scene that i would rewatch a hundred times except i dont want to get tired of it too fast) contains good information to understanding what happens afterward. paul tries to blow it up, gets distracted by the appearance of his infected acquaintances, and the longer he stays there the more infected he himself becomes, breathing in such a heavy concentration of those alien spores at the epicenter of its activity. until now, he has rejected actively being the ‘star of the show’ like the alien seems to... want him to be? idk, the point is that his character defies musical protagonist tropes despite how the plot follows him. the story is ABOUT the alien, but paul is the audience’s anchor. until he goes to blow up the meteor. at that point, the alien has him. he can barely fight back against his own body synchronizing with the other infected as they goad him into giving in, but he puts up a damn good struggle considering those impossible circumstances. still, for the first time, he participates. he sings. he hates it, but it brings out some interesting thoughts: does he hate it? did he ever? or is this just the spores talking?
but what part, exactly, does he hate? in a musical, the singing and dancing act is usually the method of delivery for whatever the character is truly feeling. it is an opportunity for the audience to connect emotionally with the person who is singing. but we dont have that with paul for almost the entire show. he doesnt participate. and he’s established in the beginning as selfish, kind of a dick, and not available to anyone (except emma who is the only person he even slightly opens up to. he tries to be more friendly somewhat with bill, i think, but even then that couldve just been to get him to snap out of it and escape the school). he said himself that people singing and dancing makes him uncomfortable. so all this is to say that, on a deeper level, i think the aspect of the singing and dancing that he hates, that he fights to resist, is the vulnerability. you can witness the madness and shame for yourself as he sings more and more, letting out his worries, unsure if his feelings are his anymore. but hey, he ends that scene with a statement reaffirming the self he walked in with (which is to say, a guy who hates musicals) and finally pulls his grenade. so its cool that he was able to resist that but. guys. if the spores didnt get him. that grenade absolutely did. he didnt even bother to throw it away from himself, he flung it down right in front of him. theres no way he didnt get blown to bloody chunks, fully intending for that to be his final act of defiance
but i think it was too late by then. he’d already breathed in so many spores, and we were shown earlier on that death is not an impediment to becoming infected. i think after he exploded, he was still absorbed into the collective and reformed as a new addition to the hive mind. his explosives might not have been enough to fully destroy the meteor. and thats why, at the very end, i believe that - despite his admittedly suspicious face journey during the song - he isnt faking it. because if he was, wouldnt the hive mind know that it doesnt contain him within it? not only that, but in the opening song emma is clearly part of the group. given that she is the only one who is undoubtedly not infected in the last song, we have to assume that she will be sometime after the finale of the musical.
and now im left with my unexplored questions: is this a musical played straight, or a ‘musical’ put on by the alien entity after it wins? and who is the ‘musical’ intended for? its fun to speculate but im not sure these are questions that can be answered by watching it a bunch of times. theyre aimed too much outside of the zone of operation, if that makes sense. its like, you cant ever look at your own eyeballs normally. you need a mirror or for someone to describe them to you. these questions exist outside of the limitations of the musical format, so we wouldnt direct them at the video, we would ask them of the creators. or not. its cool to not have all the questions answered too
ah i wrote a flippin essay, huh? i guess i wanted to prove to myself that my brain still works
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Quirkless Hero!Deku and Artist/Youtuber!Shouto AU expansion
Shouto was expelled from the Hero Course by Aizawa after the Sports Festival for his refusal to use all his might (neglecting half his quirk) when the chips are down. Shouto went to General Studies and after some serious introspection post-Hosu (he was dragged along by Ende*vore to do grunt work as punishment and happened to come across Tenya and an Idaten intern he didn't know facing off against Stain) began to find solace in art and writing classes and decided to take his life into his own hands.
Shouto started a gaming channel because Ochako- while introducing him to Super Smash Bros Ultimate- noted that he has a nice voice and he likes the story-telling capabilities of games, so why not? What does he have to lose? His striking appearance and slight fame will surely garner him a boost in viewership early on, and they do.
He initially has to run the channel from Tenya's home since Ende*vore would never allow it. He starts off playing multiplayer games because those are what his friends introduce him to so they can play together, but he inevitably shifts toward single-player games that devote quite a lot of time into compelling story campaigns and exploration. His first delves are into Horizon: Zero Dawn, God of War, the Fallout series, Portal 1 & 2, the Witcher series, and the Last of Us since these are the most prominent games at the time (remakes of games in 22XX tend to release in the same year and order the originals did to get the most playtime out of fans). He’s not good at it to start. He reads from a script and he’s stiff and uncomfortable in front of the camera. He thought he was desensitized to that given his time in the limelight thanks to his name but there’s something about talking to a small webcam that feels, well, silly, and... intense. Personal. It’s a serious detractor, and the comments he receives about it are almost enough to shut down the channel for good. His friends’ support gets him through though and he starts to develop a considerable following.
Before he realizes, he’s spending all his free time playing games with purpose, creating new videos on a nearly daily basis, brainstorming how to structure theory and lore episodes, and worrying about how his uploads are perceived. He runs charity live streams, plays fan-picked hero games, scours every last hint of lore from side-quests, get those sweet sweet completionist Platinum trophies that only like 1% of players get for every game.
Ende*vore cuts him off from his money, and inheritance. Shouto tentatively starts support pages and is surprised by the number of people willing to shell out for him. He starts to really feel the burn-out as he struggles to create more video content for awards before Momo suggests making things. Real, physical things for awards that will give him a break for the grind, and that he can use to improve his art skills. He smacks himself when he realizes that he can also use art as a way of re-connecting with his mother.
Visits at the hospital become days spent drawing, painting, sculpting, and knitting. His mother shocks him in a display of lace-making and he feels a pang of grief when he learns that it was a tradition in her family that she hadn’t been able to pass down to him. She’d taught Fuyumi and Touya a bit but Ende*vore found out and put a stop to it, saying that his legacy was the only one they needed to concern themselves with. She was too afraid of the harm her husband would bring upon the children if she tried again with Natsuo and Shouto. After hearing that there’s nothing more Shouto wants to learn (lace-crafts are his awards for months, and then on occasion for years to come).
His channel, SpicyHeathenGaming, steadily grows over the years and once he graduates from U.A., he devotes himself entirely to running it. By the time he has the formal encounter with Deku, he has millions of subscribers and has become quite comfortable in the public persona he’d crafted (it’s easy to slip into given his natural penchant for straight-man-esque dry humor). He’s almost 25, successful in a precarious field, and... happy. Genuinely at peace. There are days when he misses the rush of a fight, the satisfaction of post-rescue, and on bad days, he thinks of all the people he never saved. He schedules an appointment with his therapist and moves on.
Deku is the one to note that the Day They Met wasn’t at the construction site as he thought, but during the battle of Stain vs Team Idaten Round 2 (and U.A. Students) as the media has labelled it. Shouto is shocked but not for long. The similarities to his then-Idaten costume are prevalent in Deku’s short white mask, midnight leg guards, and heavy black soles but the rest is substantially changed. He’s vaguely reminiscent of a teal/aqua All Might- especially with his cowl on- rather than the Ingenium line now.
He’d become infamous for becoming a hero “the old fashioned way“ through interning and shadowing directly with Pros for years, foregoing hero-high school altogether.
While none of the schools outright forbid quirkless students from applying, Deku had said in his debut press conference, despite passing Ketsubutsu, Shiketsu, and U.A.’s entrance exams, I was denied admittance. They all said something to the effect of ‘I had a “weak constitution”’, ‘my “supposed passion” had been deemed insufficient hot air,’ and ‘my “heroic spirit” wouldn’t be enough to match the rigor of a top-rated hero-course’s training.’ A good friend of mine, Tenya Iida, had been at the same U.A. entrance exam as myself and after learning about my struggles put in a word for me with his family. I didn’t ask for a handout, but when the legitimate options are not truly available to you, what choice even is there? I wasn’t going to turn down the one chance I had left. Team Idaten was good to me and I wouldn’t be the man I’ve become if not for them. In all honesty, Deku shrugged, an almost apologetic look on his face, almost. I was starting to fall into a pretty dark place. I might have become a villain.
Deku had faced ire from Pros, alumni and non-alumni from the schools alike for those remarks, and public opinion had been torn between disdain for slandering the institutions of hero education or support for him having become a hero despite all the odds against him- a true, old-school origin story. All Might had surprised many by showing Deku support, and many U.A.-borne Pros had followed in his example. Ketsubutsu and Shiketsu had not been nearly as kind, with few exceptions. Deku’s rivalries with Dynamic Blitz (one-sided feud in reality), Magnitude, Cloudburst, and Sideburn Tress were almost as well-known as All Might and Endeavor back when they were heroes.
Deku was a world-wide icon for the roughly 2 billion quirkless people in existence, only one of a hand-full of quirkless Pros throughout the world since the dawn of quirks, and the first ever in Japan’s history. He was leagues above Shouto. Shouldn’t have paid him any more mind than any other civilian he’d saved. If not for Shouto’s disastrous inability to handle situations like anything resembling a normal person. He’d seen a strong, handsome, trend-setting, status-quo defying, internationally known hero up close in person, who not only recognized him for his channel but his private art blog and shop, reaching toward his evidently panicking self and had activated his right side as though it was the neglected half, and frozen their hands together.
He’d made a fucking fool of himself... but still... wound up with a number in his pocket and a wink emoji. He never got such lascivious flirting sent his way. Curses, that wink emoji. Not with his scar and eye-straining coloration and lack of proper skin and hair care. No way. What if Deku winked at him in real life? In public? Scandalous. What was he going to do?
Fuyumi. Tenya, help me.
Um, sure?
With what?
...kill me.
-Shou-!
W-why would you-!!
Please, just, vaporize me right now, I’m staring at the moon just take me by surprise, I’m begging you. Actually call Aoyama I have money.
Little brother! What’s brought this on?
That’s not an explanation! If you need help-
I... I have a date.
(Shouto is verrrr out of practice with his powers and dating and is a complete disaster gay. Izuku’s kinda suave and you can thank Tensei’s Big Brother Influence for that. Izuku saved Eri and Kouta okay I promise I have an explanation. All Might was a dick and never found Izuku to apologize. Izuku’s kinda bitter about it but he’s living his best life so :///////. OFA? Never met her. Mirio would be OFA’s 9th in this AU after losing Permeation. Will expand into a proper fic and post to AO3 when its done- I already have too many AUs at once going on.
Population estimates put humans stabilizing at about 11 billion in the 2200s - BNHA was already in modern day when quirks came and its been 200 years since then as per canon- and 20% of the population is slightly more than 2 billion. 2 billion quirkless people.
Dynamic Blitz is that motherfucker. You know who Magnitude and Cloudburst are~. Three guess as to Sideburn Tress’ identity. He wasn’t outwardly hostile but something about him set off red-flags for me. Also strikes me as having a lot of school pride.)
#tododeku#deku and spicyheathen au#part 2 of this#just follow my tags#todoroki shouto#midoriya izuku#quirkless hero deku and artist.youtuber shouto#fucking flip the fic trend#bnha manga#bnha spoilers#bnha manga spoilers#for the mirio thing#bnha
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11 Questions Tag Game
Tagged by @corishadowfang! Thank you!
Rules: Answer the 11 questions and then make 11 of your own, then tag some people.
1: Is there a real-life location you’d like to base a story off of/in?
Would I?! Well, there’s the Byzantine Empire, modern day Greece and Turkey. Just look up some pictures of Constantinople and you could see why I’d love to have that sort of setting. I already have a story idea for it. An alt-history fantasy where the empire never fell, and mythical beasts invade Europe...
As for places I’ve already based a story off of...the entire continent of Deaco is full of nations based on real life places. The central region, the human Kingdom of Geralthin, is based off of medieval England (with better weather though!) which can be seen with such names like Henry, Elizabeth, Albert and Edward, along with the English feudal system of Earls, Dukes and Barons, along with “Shire” and “Bury” being included in some town and province names.
The Koutu Kingdom is lightly based on a blend of Gaelic cultures such as the Scottish and Irish, along with some Hellenic additions. Though their homeland is more plains than the Emerald Isle or the rough Highlands, their names reflect this. Domnall, Cuan, Conchobar...there’s also their pasttimes of the great Arena Marathon and other competitions of physical sport that draw on the Greek culture.
The Dacuni Tribes are heavily inspired by the Vikings. Their constant invasions to the south against every one of their neighbors, along with their constant use of battleaxe infantry should make that obvious. The wolfmen also share the similar “-nar”, “-vin”, “nir” at the end of a lot of their names. The tundra environment is similar as well, but I also just wanted an excuse for beautiful winter scenery and an aurora that lights up the sky.
The Pona Federation is a tribal republic that takes light inspiration from the Native Americans of North America. Light. I mostly just got the idea of their government from The Iroquois. The Pona are bipedal turtlefolk that live in a swampy marshland and mostly keep to themselves. I wanted some sort of republic among all the kingdoms of the world, so here they are! They develop into a modern, Constitutional Republic later down the timeline as well, one of the few places in the world that’s a bastion of freedom and liberty in a world full of autocrats and tyrants.
The Abinsil Kingdom is a subcontinent off the coast of Geralthin to the south that’s inspired by medieval Arabic kingdoms. The lizardfolk there are pious (for good reason), isolationist, and mystical. They have sects of holy warriors that guard the groves of saints, strange magic that bends reality around them, wardrakes instead of horses, and a minority of insectoids!
Finally there’s two places I haven’t really touched on, but are part of the world. The Qin Empire, a place based off medieval China (complete with eastern dragons that regularly patrol the skies), and the Republic of Salisca, based VERY heavily off of the United States (where humans have suffered at the hands of dragon-tyrants for millennia before gaining their independence).
2: What are some themes you haven’t used that you think would be fun to touch on?
I’ve touched on The Power of Friendship™ in Blackheart, but its strongest theme was that of determination and perseverance. Never give up! Fight the darkness! As long as you have a reason to believe, something to love, the corruption can never fully claim you!
Another theme I’d like to touch on is the blood of the covenant! The idea that bonds of friendship forged strong enough can be greater than even family! Themes of faith would be interesting too, a long and difficult journey where the hero questions their faith could have some really interesting and powerful results and messages.
3: What character have you created that’s the most like you? The least?
Gotta say Charles. While I’m not a winged, fire-breathing half-dragon wizard, our personalities are very similar. He’s shy, anxious, a bit of a nerd, but a good person and brave when he needs to be...really once you get past that whole dragon part we’re pretty much the same!
As for the least? Well...probably Razorwing. I mean, after what I just told you about Charles, Razorwing is a famous hero who’s always in the spotlight. He’s graceful, and skilled, and charismatic, and loved the world over...so you could see why I think he’s a far cry from me! He’s still a good person though, most characters in Blackheart are.
4: Are there any songs that really encompass what your WIP’s about?
Cold Rain and Snow
“What are we marching for?
What is this trial with our lives?
How will we win this war?
Who among will survive?”
5: Have you ever created unique races/monsters for a story? What are they?
There’s the stock dragons and kobolds, but aside from that I’ve strayed from typical fantasy, for the most part. No elves or dwarves for example. There’s the Koutu, a species of avian adventurers who revel in the unknown and make great company wherever they go.
There’s the wolfmen (Dacuni), though I’m sure there’s similar races in other media. They’re rough, gruff and prone to flying off the handle at the slightest provocation, but they’re ferociously loyal as well.
The Pona, the turtle-men of the East, were made from scratch. I wanted a calm, wise and otherworldly species that had the potential for interesting settings and circumstances (a tribal council sitting around a fire, surrounded by massive trees that go up hundreds of feet and block out the sky, anyone?)
The Ssalik of the Abinsil Kingdom are lizardmen, though not really based on any of other media. They’re friendly with humans and have their own things going on (the mystic magic, the drakes and dragons roaming their deserts...)
The half-dragons take that “dragonblood” thing and take it to the next level, the people taking on the forms of dragons because of it. They’re the size of humans and stand upright, but otherwise look just like dragons. Due to the transformation of body and mind, they have quick wits and an affinity for magic. As such, they make great sorcerers and paladins, and tend to be more accepted in academies and churches as a result.
Pseudodragons didn’t originally exist in the world. They were created, in universe, artificially by a powerful sorcerer. They’re tiny dragons the size of people that have natural urges to do good and help humanity. They love fruits and typically settle in human villages to help the villagers in their day-to-day jobs and activities. They’re near-universally selfless and kind.
The Qin...well, imagine the half-dragons, but use eastern dragons instead of european dragons as the base. They have long, flowing bodies, fins, whiskers, and no wings.
6: What’s your favorite book?
Probably The Outsiders. I can’t say I relate to the characters...but I feel for them, you know?
7: Traditional heroes or anti-heroes?
Traditional! I love classical heroes who always try to do the right thing! I think the edgy dark hero has gotten overused to the point that classical heroes are making a comeback in popularity, and I’m glad to see it. In Blackheart, most are traditional heroes. Paul or “Crux” is the closest to an anti-hero considering his background, but in the city of demons, there’s not much chance for anyone to be anything but heroic.
8: What is your favorite character from any piece of media?
Solid Snake from the Metal Gear series. A legendary hero of uncomparable skill that has somehow pulled through some of the most hopeless of situations, went rogue in an effort to save the world from Metal Gears, and has suffered and struggled against way more than he deserved to.
9: What is an AU of your WIP you think would be fun to explore?
Modern fantasy. There’s just something about fantasy races having guns and using cellphones...
10: Where do you get your inspiration from?
Demon’s Souls. The colorless fog and ruined Boletaria being so close to the black fog and ruined Palethorn are pretty obvious giveaways. Also D&D, as all the dragons, priests, holy magic and kobolds might make clear.
11: What is something you love about your WIP?
The ending. It, uh...kinda ruined me while I was writing it. I’m absolutely in love with the characters, too.
Now for my questions! (Mostly just an excuse to hear some worldbuilding!)
1: What’s your favorite genre and why?
2: Unusual themes or plot points that are important in your story? (Music or cooking, for example)
3: Which two characters are the most polar opposites? What is their relationship in the story?
4: Prophecy vs. Defying fate? Which do you think makes for a better story?
5: Which character are you most proud of, for any reason?
6: If your story could be told in any other sort of media, what would it be? How would you like it made?
7: Which part of your world is the most interesting, in your opinion? Location, lore, whatever really drew you into making it.
8: How much do your experiences color the world or characters of your story? Is it born of a worldview you either have or something you wish reality was closer to?
9: What government system does the setting follow? If it’s an international journey, how are the nations different from each other?
10: What role does culture play in the world? Where did you get the idea for such traditions and pasttimes?
11: How do you like your villains and heroes? How do they think and act most of the time?
Tagging @oceanwriter, @paper-shield-and-wooden-sword, @elliewritesfantasy, @caffienefuelsmywriting and @lady-redshield-writes!
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Pronoun tips from binary men and women
Every once in a while I am asked (or see someone asking) how to use pronouns other than he/him and she/her. The person asking is usually a man or a woman unfamiliar with nonbinary stuff generally, but they’ve got a particular nonbinary person in their life whom they care about and they don’t want to mess up. Maybe they keep misgendering their nonbinary friend and they feel guilty, or they want to take the burden off the nonbinary person who keeps having to correct them, something like that.
When binary people lack that confidence with pronouns, they seek the advice of nonbinary people. Not only are we likely to give advice that’s not ideal for binary people (because we’ve got skin in the game, all our friends are nonbinary so we’re used to it, etc.), but it is another facet of that dynamic of the privileged group (in this case binary people) placing their burden onto the marginalised group. Binary people should be asking advice from other binary people who’ve mastered pronouns.
So, I asked, and a bunch of binary people answered. I got advice from trans and cis binary people (men and women), and I’m collecting all the common stuff and the stuff I thought was good, all here for your perusal. If you know a binary person who’s struggling to get pronouns right, pass this along.
[This article assumes that you know a specific nonbinary person and you want to get better at using their pronouns, though the advice can be adapted. It also assumes that you’re familiar with the concepts of singular they and neopronouns, and you accept that they’re grammatically correct.]
Update: Now available as a printable on Google Docs, in case you need to hand it to someone in person!
~
PRACTISE
Something that came up over and over, from cis and trans people, was that just like learning anything language-related, practise is essential. And like anything language-related, it is definitely possible to learn!
“If you can get into a hobby like, say, knitting, and learn how to use 'knit' vs 'purl' vs 'cast' vs 'bind' and so on, you can absolutely learn whichever pronouns are correct for the people you talk to, or about and use them as needed.“ --An anonymous cisgender binary person.
Practise a little bit every day. Language is maintained through regular and habitual use. “Pure repetition leaves these pronouns on the tip on my tongue.” --Anonymous cisgender binary person
Talk about the person and use the correct pronouns. You can talk about them to yourself or to a non-judgemental friend. Do this while they’re not around, so they don’t feel uncomfortable. “It really helped me having a friend [to practise with] who I trusted to not judge me when I got it wrong.“ --An anonymous cisgender binary person.
Think about the person and use their pronouns. “I would narrate what they were doing in my head using their name and chosen pronouns, so like. ‘They sat down and opened their textbook for the class.’” --Mason
Write about someone and use the pronouns you want to learn. Something magical about writing fixes things in our memories. Write about the person whose pronouns you’re trying to learn, or write a story about a fictional person with those pronouns. Compose a selection of phrases that use all five forms of the pronoun, and write them down. Rewrite a passage of a book you’re reading with different pronouns. “Every time you bugger up someone's pronouns, write a paragraph about them in your journal as practice - just, like, nice things about them - and do make it about focusing on them and who they are, not at all about your mistake or punishing yourself for it.“ --Anna K
Listen to/read works by other people using the pronouns. Podcasts, YouTube, fiction and non-fiction books, newspaper articles, queer socials where folks have a lot of nonbinary friends...
“Practice getting it wrong as well as getting it right, so that you can correct yourself smoothly and automatically.” --Anna K
~
TRICK YOURSELF
"Imagine your friend has a tiny buddy on them, like a puppet in their pocket, and you're talking about your singular friend and their buddy, so: ‘them’. Eventually you'll get used to saying they/them/their.” --An anonymous cisgender binary person.
Draw on your prior experience. If you’re queer and you’ve had to do the Pronoun Dance when talking about your partners before, pretend to yourself that you’re deliberately hiding someone’s gender from the person you’re talking to. If you’re used to not knowing friends’ genders because you only know them online, pretend to yourself that you’ve never met your nonbinary friend AFK before. “The most effective way I can get myself in the mental frame to consistently use they/them pronouns for someone who I've previously known as she/her or he/him, is by thinking of it as like I don't wish to disclose this person's gender to the audience (even if the audience is myself, in my thoughts).” --S
Many people commented that tricking yourself often naturally and accidentally leads to...
~
CHANGE HOW YOU THINK ABOUT GENDER
“View the people you're talking about as people, and their gender(s) as valid. This is the most helpful thing.“ --Kaelen
Start using singular they when talking about people whose genders you don’t know. This was recommended by a LOT of binary people. It cements the idea that you can’t know someone’s gender or pronouns unless they’ve told you, and it detaches pronouns from gender presentation and your own assumptions based on appearance.
Research genders that defy the binary. Get comfortable with the subject, understand that what people tell you about themselves is important and personal to them, and accept that any gender that someone earnestly tells you they experience is valid.
Get used to the idea that you don’t know anyone’s gender until they tell you. “If I knew Shirley used they/them pronouns, I might slip and say ‘she is over there’ but if I train myself to believe I am not fully aware of their gender (only they are!) than I can say ‘they are over there’ more confidently and assured.” --Maria
Think of people as masculine and feminine instead of male and female. “Something that I'm sure also helps is seeing certain looks/types not as "male/female" but as fem/masc. There can be a masc female, a fem male, and so on and so forth.” --An anonymous nonbinary trans-masc person.
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IN THE MEAN TIME
If you’re struggling, use the person’s name in a pinch. It’s better than misgendering them, and it can keep the natural flow of conversation going so that it’s not all about their pronouns.
When you mess up, correct yourself and move on. “I think I'm a lot less likely to make the same mistake again if I catch myself and amend it.“ --helen
Don’t say sorry, say thank you. "If you misgendered someone and are corrected pls say “thank you” rather than “I’m sorry” - apology forces that person to tell you it’s ok, which is strange. THANK YOU suggests that u understand it’s not okay and you’re grateful to have been corrected!” --Dan Owens on Twitter.
~
BE KIND TO YOURSELF
Accept that you’ll make mistakes and that’s okay. “There is no fast, there's no short cut for it except making sure you do it regularly, and correcting yourself when you inevitably get it wrong. It isn't actually a huge deal, most non-binary people recognise the difference between a slip up (particularly if you knew the person pre-coming out) and wilful misgendering.” --CJ Atkinson
Privately say/think kind things to yourself when you get it right. Learning new pronouns can be really hard and positive reinforcement is good for you!
Forgive yourself when you get it wrong. Don’t beat yourself up, because everyone gets it wrong sometimes and you can’t learn if you don’t make mistakes. “Don't punish yourself for slipping up. As long as you're trying you're good.” --An anonymous trans binary person.
Start easy and work up. “When it comes to neopronouns they become easier to use after learning they/them because you've already got a base to work off of, if you will.” --An anonymous nonbinary trans-masc person.
~
DON’T PUT IT ON THEM
It’s your responsibility. If you’re reading this then you probably already know this! No one should have to work to have their identity recognised and respected, no matter how uncommon their pronouns are. “Not putting the onus of correction on the person I've misgendered has been key for me.” --helen
Don’t ask a nonbinary person to correct you. It is exhausting and depressing to have to correct other people on your pronouns all the time. If you need someone to correct you, ask your binary friends to correct you and each other, whether the nonbinary person is within earshot or not.
Don’t talk to them about how hard their pronouns are. Nonbinary people have to deal with a steady stream of “I’m really sorry, I am trying but it’s just so hard.” We know it’s hard for some people and we get it, but we also know that it is possible and quite frankly, as the people in the middle ring of the Kvetching Order we’re not the ones you should be complaining to.
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