#which applies to zs himself too

[thenotoriousscuttlecliff]

The Snyderverse was a artistic hollow, emotionally stunted, intellectually shallow era of movies made by and for those who just want things to look badass, cool, and aggressively masculine.

[writingfool001]

You’re Not Bad, Just a Bit Lost.

Author’s Note: I wanted to see if I can do these two before seeing if I’ll do the others. There will be more later. 

Request: Yes 

Calm Newt!Mc who's got all house wardens wrapped around. Like, even though after the overblot (for this add Jamil for Scarabia) they still calm and treat them nicely. I really wanna see their affectionate to apologize for risking Mc life. For Malleus, affectionate for not afraid of him! 

Warnings: Grammar, a bit of ooc, can be seen as platonic or romantic, & Newt!MC is inspired by Newt Scamander.

  Leona 

He kept his distance before Chapter 3 and would keep tabs on you through Ruggie or Jack. He wouldn't care too much about running into you since he nearly killed you When you showed up on his doorstep with Jack late one night, asking for a place to stay. He was thinking about letting you stay, but he had his pride and reputation on the line. After that, he woke up in the middle of the night and looked down at you, sleeping on the floor with your jacket draped over you. 

He got up and hung your jacket over his chair before placing you on the bed and covering you up. He stared as you slept peacefully and noticed all the little details on your facial features. The small scars and nicks, the somewhat dark circles under your eyes, and such. Such a foolish herbivore, always running towards trouble.  

Later, Leona would see your patience and compassion towards others. He would notice your little traits and started to connect the dots that you were more of an introvert, and you were comfortable with Jack opposed to being stiff and awkward with other Savanaclaw students. As your friendship evolved, he noticed you got comfortable with him and would somewhat acknowledge the growing relationship between you two. Leona would start to crash at Ramshackle sometimes to hide from Ruggie/keeping you company. You got used to seeing him pass out on the couch in the lounge in the morning. One night, he woke to hearing a noise coming from the basement and got up to investigate. 

Groaning, Leona picked you up and carried you upstairs, ignoring your protests, then to your bedroom before putting you down. He told you to go wash up and change into your pajamas or he’ll change you himself. Right as you disappeared into your bathroom, he collapsed onto your bed and got comfortable before lightly dozing. Opening an eye at the sound of the door opening and you stepped out in your cozy pajamas, he pulled back the covers and patted the spot for you to sleep in. He watched as you got into bed and covered you before falling asleep. You laid there for an hour before trying to get out of bed and immediately, Leona pulled you back and kept you in his grasp. No matter your efforts, you eventually fell asleep and in the middle of your slumber, Leona woke up to see you peacefully sleeping which caused him to smile a bit before covering you up and placing a gentle kiss on your head.   From then on, Leona would drag you to the botanical garden so you could catch a few Zs or to take a break and send Ruggie to drop things off to you. He noticed you got comfortable with him and would accept him hugging/ cuddling you, he enjoyed when you scratch his head and around his ears. He would listen to you talking about creatures and appreciated it when you played chess with him. Such a special herbivore you are. 

Jamil 

After the whole winter break incident, he avoided you and stayed out of the way until he was a part of NRC’s VDC team who were going to be staying at your house. He got to know you more and see your caring nature for your creatures which extended to some people. You would go lengths for people you care about and make sure to take care of them, yet that does not always apply to yourself. 

He would occasionally see you around school looking tired and not taking a break as you continued to go along with the constant busy life. He knew that look on your face, of utter exhaustion yet keeps running on a low battery. There was a class period where both classes were working together, and towards the end of the class, you collapsed and almost landed face first before Jamil caught you. Feeling your forehead, it was warm and as he looked at your face, it was flushed. He visited you in the nurse’s office and lightly lectured you about taking care of yourself before helping you walk back to Ramshackle and setting you down in bed to let you rest. 

You woke up, feeling something was off, and got up from bed before heading towards the living room as a faint savory aroma caught your attention. Changing your direction towards the kitchen, you prepared your wand for intruders and quietly opened the door to see Jamil, cooking then turned to see you. He turns towards you and points to the plate of food on the island, silently telling you to sit and eat. He turned back to finishing cooking whatever he was as you took a seat, giving the plate a quick look before picking up your eating utensil. 

Taking a bite of the food, you immediately are welcomed by a familiar taste that you haven’t tasted in so long as some tears came to your eyes. It’s been so long since you had a taste of home ever since you came to Twisted Wonderland. Memories played as you continued to eat quietly, and Jamil noticed a couple of your tears before he walked over to you. 

Jamil wiped away your tears and cleaned your face up while lightly lecturing you about being messy and not eating enough. You looked at him before engulfed in a hug, cutting off his lecture short, and thanked him for the meal. He stayed frozen for a bit before letting out sigh with a small smile on his face and patted your head softly. 

Occasionally, Jamil would give you lunch and say that he made extra from making Kalim’s lunch. He gave you the opportunity to try more food and exchange, you would tell him of the many places you’ve gone to which the food reminded you of. You gave him many stories of the outside world that he had not seen before and the fascination of traveling. You offered to bring him along on your travels in the future which he considered going on. Even if he only showed you kindness and friendship, you offered him the world. 

[firespirited]

Honestly I don't even believe Musk is autistic. I think he's just an ass and wants to use his supposed autism as an excuse. I've never met a person with autism who acts like THAT.

Neurodivergent people can be horrid too, I think if you have a fairly coddled existence or lose sight of where you came from anyone can go from being decent, even really empathetic to being self-absorbed. It's how we ended up with folks who felt alienated growing up into bullies who can't fathom that they're being bullies because they were the hurt one.

-------------------------------

So there's this threshold of money which allows you to live comfortably, not worry about your kids and even make investments and once you earn above that, if you're not super careful, your priorities and mindset radically change: it becomes about ego, rankings, accolades, having three more lines about you in the paper than the other person. It's above this threshold that the only identity politics that matter is the shared wealth bracket so you get the Jay Zs, Caitlin Jenners and JK Rowlings of the world who were underdogs at one point but seem, like, completely removed from their old life.

-------------------------------

We live in an age where hyperfixation on a subject (and the parental loan and investment bluffing) has led several autists to get very rich or famous: Zuckerberg, Gates and Musk, Dan Harmon and Stanley Kubrick, the creator of Pokemon, several minecraft youtubers... Success without hurting others (whether you're neurotypical or not) is all about knowing your blind spots and making sure you have collaborators who'll correct you (and protect you from tarnishing your image at the very least).

Elon Musk is most probably autistic*, raised by a heartless dad then failed upwards: so he might have seen himself as a victim, as the only smart person in the room and definitely not needing anyone's help far before he ever hit that income threshold and started seeing most other human beings as pawns or useless in his world.

A lot of us have learned to compensate really hard in the areas where we tend to be clueless but there are people who don't. My Grandma put a huge amount of work into passing at work but she gets cruel with loved ones when she feels insecure and overwhelmed to get us to leave instead of being able to say she needs some space. I have to work really hard on presenting painful facts in a sugar-coated carefully planned manner instead of just blurting it out because volume and tone really matter.

*He feels Aspergers applies to him and people generally don't come out as something potentially stigmatizing unless it applies. Also I have to show you this photo of him, his twin son (on the right) and triplets: I can't tell you exactly what it is but it's something: I have so many photos just. like. this. from overly posed to not quite there to I forgot we were taking photos.

In a nutshell: We all have blind spots, we don’t all have a billion dollars and surround ourselves with ‘yes men’ so we can ignore the consequences of the blind spots. If I hurt someone, I hope they’ll tell me or that I have folks who’ll notice so I can change. You have to hope that should you ever get successful, you’ll remember those safety nets and keep embracing the discomfort of having to remember to do better.

[4dtk]

stuck with you

pairing: enemy!journalist!haechan x journalist!reader

genre: angst, fluff, humour, enemies to lovers (hope i did the trope justice tbh TT)

warnings: cursing, f words lmao, i mention stranger things a lot in this??? mainly bc i just finished watching it w a friend. i also only use ‘haechan’ when narrating the story so i don’t get confused! the timeline for this is Very Weird as well bc like i didn’t consider how long a pandemic would last…… so Uhm. pls just excuse the weird ass time sequence. also referenced yangyang’s bastard child behaviour from dream plan where he packs his things messily and kun had to mf intervene and yangyang had the audacity to go like “see, this is how u get ppl to pack for you, now i don’t have to do anything” 💀

word count: 8k (a headache to proofread...)

A/N: first time trying an e2l trope and im not sure if it was done ok??? i didn't want it to feel too rushed so i tried to spread out the days as much as i could!! i also included small snippets of their life w the other so it won’t seem like the fic is just focusing on the e2l concept! was inspired tons by the lyrics of stuck with u by ariana grande and jb, so that song is definitely something you can listen to if you read this! hope you enjoy ^^

[day 1]

"you're insufferable," you groan, reluctantly handing over the remote control for the hotel's television after some unsuccessful scrolling.

hotels never exactly had much range anyway. 

you were very much already dreading the time ahead with the male, sadly having been stuck in quarantine not even half a day with haechan. 

offering to go to a neighbouring country to report on the rising covid-19 situation, you didn't expect your rival to tag along, no doubt seeking to craft up a better story than you would.

and so, you were now nudging the remote control into his waiting palm with a roll of your eyes. you hoped it emphasised your annoyance with him even a little, standing up to prepare a cup of tea before bed. 

"are you going to keep watching television while i sleep?" you ask a genuine question, peeking at him through the mirror of the vanity that sat outside the bathroom.

he just shrugs with a tired sigh, turning his attention back to the cartoon playing in front of him. 

"okay, well, keep to your side of the bed and i'll stay in mine. we need to be social distancing, anyway."

there's a hint of "okay, loser" mumbled under his breath, but you pay it no thought as you finish your tea and brush your teeth before you skillfully set up a fortress made out of pillows.

"ow! what the hell?" 

"your leg was in the way, jeez! move it, and i'll stop annoying you," you said, putting up the last of your requested pillows beside where haechan currently sat. 

taking one last glance at haechan, you wondered when the lockdown in your country would last before they start letting people fly in. for now, you were trapped with the nightmare himself in a sad hotel room, with only a bed to share.

"goodnight," he tells you, but the sardonic way he says it irks you to the point where you settle for silence instead. the only thing that drones on are the voices of the cartoon, soon fading as you feel into a dreamless sleep.

[day 4]

"this virus thing is probably driving me insane by day, and you, lee haechan, are adding on to it!"

"no headlines, no idea what style to write in, minimal pictures-" the doorbell to the hotel room interrupts your current rant, prompting you to storm off to answer the call with an annoyed look. 

"what now?" taken aback by your quick response, the housekeeping girl retracts with downturned eyebrows and a voice hesitant to speak. your roommate comes to the rescue almost immediately when he's heard the commotion.

you watch as he sends her a smile and a wink, deflating when he's let her in to clean up the room. you're not sure why you can't keep your eyes off the both of them as they converse, blaming it mostly on your hatred for the male.

with the last of her duties fulfilled, you offer to help her with the cleaning supplies as an apology, but she cuts you off almost immediately. there's a linger in her step, however, as she walks the short hallway to the door, evident in wanting haechan to send her off as he received her.

turning back to call him, he holds up a hand as he types down his opening lines to an article, prompting you to shoot the housekeeper girl another apologetic look.

"sorry again," you mumble, letting out a sigh at how this was all playing out. day four and you were already making enemies with the hotel crew.

"maybe day forty-one is where i fall in love with lee haechan," you scoffed, perhaps listing down all the unfortunate things that could happen while you were in quarantine.

one of them was catching feelings for your rival.

rolling your eyes, you settled on the bed to catch a few Zs as he continued to work on his article, though you weren't exactly sure about the weight your words held.

[day 9]

"haechan, what is this?" you ask with an eyebrow raised, his dirty boxers barely hanging off your finger. 

haechan only groans at that, knowing you were relentless in the laundry. even in a pandemic, he was sure you'd prioritise your clothes first.

"jesus! don't go picking up my underwear just like that!" he snatches it from you, folding it neatly and placing it next to where his luggage sat. unfortunately, yours was right beside his. 

"you think just because you're doing the laundry you're able to look through a man's prized possessions-!"

your jaw drops, "it was near the sink, haechan! i don't want to look at the checkered pattern on your boxers when i brush my teeth. i don't want it near my face either." 

haechan groans yet again, running a hand through his hair in frustration before turning back to the computer, a blank document opened up in front of him.

despite gathering findings, interviewing healthcare workers and serving the public alongside frontline staff, he had deleted every attempt at writing.

there's a rumble from the bathroom, perhaps from your upset stomach or the choked pipe, but sometimes they sounded too similar he couldn't tell it apart. haechan stifles a laugh when there's a "fuck!" echoing behind the door, though unsure if he should help you or not.

when haechan hears another crash, he comes running without hesitation with a face morphed into furrowed eyebrows and a tilt of the head.

"don't just stand there, you moron!" 

haechan snaps out of his daze to assist you off the floor, swiftly helping you even more off the floor as he carries you to the bed with a stiff one arm. you notice his other hand hanging awkwardly, probably not knowing what to do with it before you feel the soft sheets under your butt.

he gets to work within a minute, fishing for an ointment and some bandages his mother forced him to bring. he remembers it as he always has: a caring mother looking out for her son, maybe a little too much sometimes. 

haechan is thankful for his mother, now, for the stray bandages laying around in his pouch.

you watch in silence as he cleans the cut with alcohol, wincing when his hand hadn't even touched your skin.

"my hand isn't even on your skin yet! jeez, calm down." 

you shake your head, holding onto his bicep to halt his arm, "just use water, please."

exhaling in exasperation, you wonder if you've pissed him off tenfold when he leaves for the bathroom with a side-eyed glance, though not hostile.

"problematic," haechan whispers, dabbing a wet cloth over the wound carefully before applying the ointment and securing the bandages. 

"your words contradict your actions so much, haechan. i never know what you're thinking." sighing, you pull your leg away from his hold after he's done with the bandages, making your way to the bathroom and leaving him in his thoughts.

"why do you want to know?"

haechan gets silence; the lock of the bathroom audibly turns to signal another wall put up between the two of you. with another frustrated groan, the boy plops down on the chair to work on his article with the right words forming in his mind.

even if he was the one who asked, he wasn't sure if he was ready to tell you.

[day 13]

"stranger things is freaking me the fuck out, man!" haechan whispered, ignoring your pleads and groans to continue writing. 

"haechan! give me the damn laptop! i don't even know why you brought an HDMI cable when it doesn't work with the television system here!"

"well, we got one that matches it, didn't we?" he said, eyes peeled to the screen that showed the young boy, will, in the upside-down.

"you mean you did!" you shoved him, ready to disconnect the devices before haechan held you back, clearly entranced by the next sequence of eleven being able to see will in a pool of salt. 

"ugh, god, i don't even know why people watch the show!" you spill with sourness, knowing the show was praised for its excellent acting and writing.

haechan raises an eyebrow, turning to you with a strangely slow speed. 

"stranger things have received multiple awards, and you didn't give any other reason. are you scared?"

when you struggle to find words, haechan laughs at his revelation, hiding his pearly whites behind his hand as he continues to make fun of you.

"yeah yeah, i'm scared! so what?" 

"'oh haechan! oh no~ i'm terrified, would you care to provide some comfort?' jeez, don't worry, man, i'll protect you." there's a cheeky glimmer in his eyes and a cocky smirk on his face which you very much want to wipe off with the disinfectant in the toilet.

"it's not all that bad, c'mon! give it a-" turning back to the tv, the sudden attack of the demogorgon lashing out at the camera has the male screaming, hiding behind your body in fear.

"you were saying, mr superman?" you deadpan, unlatching his arms around your waist as you sink deeper into the sheets with your phone in hand.

[day 17]

haechan thrashes in his sleep, almost knocking the wine glass you had in your hands when he crosses over the pillow barrier you made. 

"what in the hell-" you winced, keeping an eye on the male should he have any more outbursts that would ruin both wine night and the stuff you were working on for the article. 

with tipsy hands, your keyboard keys unconsciously write out a letter of disdain and confusion regarding haechan, the boy sleeping next to you with a cute drooling face and curly hair.

with beautiful tan skin like that, you wondered why he didn't model instead. with a voice as impressive as his, you wondered why he didn't sign a contract. with natural hosting capabilities, you wondered why didn't fucking get the place of a talk show host. 

because man, he can get pretty bothersome sometimes.

[day 20]

the next few days pass by with a breeze.

despite not knowing how the current pandemic will turn out, you find haechan more bearable, his habits being dumped in the past with a wave of a hand.

petty arguments occur, of course, until one of you brushes off the matter like nothing.

today was one of the days you won't back down.

there's worry evident on your face, eyes scanning through every last document on the stupid laptop. fingers travel fast over the keyboard as the realisation slowly dawns on you. 

with slumped shoulders, you take a deep breath before turning to the male.

"what do you mean you accidentally deleted my article? i know we're sharing the damn laptop, but we established that you stay on your files and i stay on mine."

the other waved his hand, "i did not touch any of your files, (y/n), i'm not sure what happened."

"how could you not know? what the hell? i had good content on it, but now i have to spend more hours reorganising the news and interview answers and everything else in my notes. thanks, lee haechan."

"maybe if you weren't so caught up in me trying to sabotage your place in the publication team, then you would've believed me." he shrugged, taking a seat on the one bed like nothing.

you scoffed, arms crossing across your body. "funny how you mention sabotage because a villain never reveals their motive. that's why you came with me, didn't you?"

haechan stuck his tongue out to the side of his mouth, eyes blinking and rolling like an 8-ball that it sickened you to the core.

"villain? i'm the villain?"

"was i not clear?" you hiss, stepping closer to the male.

"no, make it more precise, please. i wanna hear it word for word. spit it out, coward."

with every word, you plunged your finger into his chest, looking deep into his eyes. "you're set out to take my place for department editor, where you know i'm best at."

"and that department would be...?" he crossed his arms, looking down at you with scorn you wished you could slap off his face.

"the..." you gulp with his face all up in yours, eyes boring as he awaits your answer, no doubt losing confidence at your realisation.

"the world depart...ment? you love to travel, right?" you trail off, biting your lip in anxiety when you remember how he was on the plane. you don't exactly remember whether he was more excited or scared.

"wrong! try again."

"politics?" you propose.

haechan's face contorts into disbelief, with his mouth twisted with perplex and eyebrows furrowed. "me? politics?"

your mouth runs dry at the roadblock you've faced, and as that annoying, stupid smirk grows, your hatred for him increases by the charts.

"naming departments i'd rather die than join, running your mouth, accusing me of deleting your files..." haechan shakes his head dramatically, rolling his eyes and letting out a fat sigh.

"you think i wanna be stuck here with your infuriating ass? god, you're so entitled, aren't you? aren't you?!"

"talking like you own the place, talking like you're the only one in this world, talking like- mhfh-"

within three angry steps, you were across the room.

within three booming steps, your hands were on his face.

within three significant steps, you were kissing lee haechan.

"you never learn to shu..." with horror, you're brought back from the trance with widened eyes.

"oh, god, sorry. what. what the hell. what the fuck?" you whisper, pushing the boy away with both hands in a panic, trying to highlight your scorn for him by wiping your lips on your sleeve.

had you liked it?

the other scurried to the balcony in a frenzy while you collected yourself in the bathroom, although no amount of water could calm your nerves. 

with shaky words in bed, you both agreed to never talk about it again.

[day 25]

"hey, i can see your damn annotations on my article, (y/n). will you stop it?" haechan whines, making you second guess if he was joking or not.

for the nth time that day, you roll your eyes and proceed to sip from your cup of gin tonic that haechan desperately wanted you to try. it was... a refreshing taste, but hell, you wouldn't drink this even if it was the last beverage on earth.

"i'm just giving my feedback, be thankful i didn't bring up that stupid kiss five days ago. bleugh." 

haechan falls quiet at that, fingers lingering over the keyboard as he typed out some note with the speed of a sloth's. 

"hey, call me donghyuck. that's my actual name," he mumbles, glancing at you through his bangs while he awaits your reply.

"donghyuck? is haechan an alias?"

the boy shrugs, "i don't know, maybe. my friends gave it to me when i was younger, and i just stuck with it."

"full sun? your friend gave it to you, sure." you grin with a gesture of your hand, almost spilling the gin in the clear glass before breaking into small laughter with the other.

[day 28]

"hey! hey, what the hell?" you whisper, feeling the boy huddle up to you in lightning speed. 

"what is wrong with you?" you whisper-shout, nudging him off your body as his phone screen remains as the only thing illuminating his face.

"sorry, i- i was watching stranger things while i was shitting and after i cleaned up... i heard something and bolted out of there."

"so now you're butt naked? hyuck, ew!" you groan, thankful for the sheets that were covering your body and his junk. his reluctance to get off you didn't seem to bother you as much as earlier, but you still wished he wasn't literally naked against you.

"go put on your underwear, you big baby. i'll be here when you come out. no demogorgon is going to come out, for real."

"no no, i was watching season two and it was that big shadow thingy that freaked me out. can't you feel this poor boy shivering?" haechan sighed, eyes never leaving the corridor that led to the bathroom.

"i can, and i also can feel your dick. please get dressed, or you're sleeping on the floor," you mumble, pulling the sheets to cover your freezing body.

[day 31] 

your face hits something soft, cuddling into it even further because of its warmth before you realise there was only one other thing that would be warm in the room.

haechan.

your breath shakes, and your eyes widen as you pull yourself away from his embrace. your subtle movement leaves him thrashing around, though, and his arms tighten around your figure slowly and endearingly.

gulping, you will your hands to stay in their place, opting to freeze to death although there are hints of heat crawling onto your face.

when you wake up, you find that his hand's in yours and maybe you were searching for one wrong thing. an anomaly, an exception. it fit in yours perfectly, however, his tanned skin glowing lightly under the rays of sun filtering through the curtains.

you hoped he didn't realise the small shift of your fingers as they enclosed around his hand.

[day 32]

"what are you doing out here?" haechan asked quietly, peeking around the sliding door before joining you on the chilly balcony. it wasn't much, but it was still different and refreshing from the old, stagnant aircon air that was blowing in the hotel room.

"can't sleep," you whisper. you had your arms around your figure cautiously, as if it could protect you from all the bad, evil and terror in the world. at this point, you weren't sure what was it that you were feeling, but it sure didn't involve entertaining haechan's teasing. 

luckily, he bit his tongue from making the usual snarky remarks.

"it's two in the morning, what's up?" 

you shake your head in reply, watching the empty streets as the last light in the apartment across you switches off. sure, at two in the morning, pavements were dusty clean, and the birds were sleeping, but there would always be younger boys smoking along the road, or a drunken group of friends laughing about a past memory. 

now that the pandemic forced everyone into their homes, everything was pretty much dead. there wasn't that excitement you felt when you saw a late-night kiss shared between two lovers or the snug hug of a child to his father who was working overtime that day.

"nothing's up, hyuck, it's fine. you can get back to sleep if you want."

maybe today you two were the one causing the ruckus this time, though. haechan may have let his words slipped, and at that moment, you knew you regretted that bloom in your chest when his lips met yours.

"you're so hard to read, (y/n). i want you to be able to trust me, tell me what's going on."

"why do you wanna know anyway? so you can expose me of my bad habits and weak points?" you whisper, eyes trained on the flickering lamppost a few yards away.

"there you go again! again with the sabotage?" haechan scoffed, exiting the small space and stepping back into the room of mixed emotions.

"is this just about your feelings for me?" 

haechan laughed, "my feelings? might i remind you that you were the one who kissed me full on the lips twelve days ago? what was that all about? i wanna talk about it, even though we said we wouldn't! i wanna talk about why you hate me so much. i wanna talk about why your emotions are so contradictive!" 

your mouth hangs open as you sputter out a heated reply, but instead gets interrupted with a knock on the door. 

"keep quiet, you damn teenagers! i don't need your petty fights at two in the morning!" with padded feet, the guest returns to his room and slams the door to emphasise his complaint. swallowing, your mind goes blank as it focuses only on one question.

"why do you want to know so much lee haechan? what are you gaining out of this? if it's not sabotaging, then what is it?!" you whisper, standing your ground as with the first argument. 

your throat is clenched up, and your fists are balled up tightly with nails digging into your palm. your heartbeat races like a fast car and your breathing's laboured in the cold room. there's no movement for a second, though they feel like minutes on end as haechan struggles to answer your question.

"what is it, lee donghyuck?" you cry out again, the sparkle in your eyes shining brightly from the tears of your never-ending dispute. he wished it was from the moonlight, instead. he wished the two of you were laughing over the rim of wine glasses and sharing the mischievous glimmer of the moon in your eyes.

"it's nothing. don't mind it." the other turns to catch up on sleep, leaving you to bite your lip.

"now you're doing it, now you're the one doing it. just tell me, you dumbass!" you mumble, pulling on his pyjama sleeve and tugging you to him.

"i like you, okay! it's out there now, i like you a lot, but you make it feel like a crime to do it," haechan whispers, "whatever. fuck this."

"no- what- no, we'll talk this out." you propose, adjusting your grip on his wrist with the curl of your fingers.

the male shakes his head and snatches his arm back, "no, forget it, and i'd prefer if you left me alone, (y/n)."

even with the warmth of his body next to yours, your body felt frozen and stiff. even with the thick duvet cover over you, you felt out of place in the stale hotel room, with colour becoming black and white, they merge into grey as the moonlight shone without a care for your problems.

there's action on the balcony when your eyes flutter open in the morning, noticing the quiet way haechan observes those rushing to work as well as social distancing officers making their rounds.

his eyes look hopeful and youthful, different from the tired ones the night before, or rather, this morning. you hadn't forgotten the angry neighbour banging on the door, and you definitely hadn't forgotten about how much you've wounded haechan this morning.

with a soft knock, you let him know of your presence and you just miss the way his eyes soften at your bed hair and messy appearance. his gaze turns hard in a second as he turns back to the apartment across yours, the balcony door showing your reflection of how hesitant you were.

haechan wished he could take your hands in his and accept your apology in a heartbeat, but he stayed seated and waited for whatever you wanted to say.

"don't run off, please." there's a shameful hand on his shoulders, and he's dying to get up when he sees your downcast eyes in the reflection across the street.

"i was too caught up in getting department head that i... didn't consider other possibilities. even the possibility of you uhm... liking me. it's still a weird concept to me, especially with how much we bicker."

"i'm sorry i didn't stay to hear out your feelings and rather, i just talked over you instead. i'm not sure if you want to accept this or not, but i want to open up—about this, about your feelings and... i don't know how much i've masked my emotions, i just know that we need to communicate."

the doorbell interrupts your apology, but you internally thank the housekeeping for bringing breakfast for the two of you.

with silence over breakfast, you weren't sure how the other felt as he scoffed down the croissant and almost burned his tongue with the coffee he ordered.

[day 33] 

the boy barely watches the television and instead, reads over the article you were working on. seeing as it was already there when he logged on, he skimmed through it out of curiosity, finding that you were rephrasing the messy typos and sentences frantically on your notes.

haechan never forgot the way you were typing away on the laptop, eyes reading and rereading the sentences to make sure they made sense, to make sure they were clear to the reader. 

the argument had taken a toll on you, too. he sees it in the way your eyes sink when your words turn out choppy and lacking, he sees it in the way you lug your body to the bathroom after a late night, he sees it in the way you struggle to hold your smile while attending an interview. 

'haechan. you confuse me. i'm not...' the note below it trails off, piquing his curiosity at what it had in store.

'haechan.' big and bold letters it wrote, with a few dozen question marks below it. your writing skills shine through even in an informal note about your self-proclaimed rival, each line prompting the other to read more.

'you confuse me. i'm not sure what you're at but, it doesn't seem natural for you to tag along with someone you hate, right? that's what i was thinking too.'

'jeez, i remember hating when suyeon told me you were coming along. i didn't believe her one bit until she showed me your plane ticket and the hotel rooms next to each other. god, and when i came here, it was a day of interviewing before the damn government decided to close flights and force us into a room together.'

'i heard that other people had to be separated. i didn't know why we were the unlucky two that had to be put in a room together. i wished we didn't, almost. of course, you annoyed me when we first moved in. hogging the tv to no end, leaving your dirty underwear everywhere, running your mouth just like at our workplace.'

'i couldn't take it, maybe. sure, my brother has similar antics, but there was just something about you that just set me off, you know? i wouldn't have thought it was the opposite, or at least, i think so.'

'i'm counting the days. day 17 and i'm not sure why i feel this bubbling feeling inside me. of course, there's anger—i'm sure it's there, but there's also this other thing i get whenever i look at you.'

'my heart clenches up, and my hands become clammy, but it couldn't be a crush, right? i would've wasted my breath shouting, and my strength whacking your shoulder.' that makes haechan chuckle and look over at you where the soft light dances over your face.

'and then i started imagining. how would your arms wrap around me? how would your infuriating laughter, which somehow turned out to be so contagious, feel in the crook of my neck? yikes, that was cheesy.'

'what would it feel like if we fell in love for one night? where would you bring me and what would we eat? would we make out in your car like unruly teenagers?' 

'what would it be like to love you? it's dumb, isn't it? i don't know. i've liked this bickering thing we had going on, and it's amusing to see you one-up me. i'm not sure if i want that to change and i'm not sure if you want us to, either.'

'maybe i'm wrong, and i'm the only one in this thing. this is so stupid, writing while he's sitting next to me. i'll regret this, maybe. goodnight.'

haechan sighs, closing the device in thought, confused at the words he wasn't exactly supposed to read. had you done this on purpose? he was sharing the laptop with you...

the boy brushed it off, placing the laptop on the vanity before adjusting your side of the duvet, hoping he could find the right words. with hesitant steps, he keeps to his side of the bed, thinking, thinking, thinking. 

when he couldn't no more, haechan fell into the spell of slumber in the comfortable hotel room.

[day 34]

"tea?" he asks from the bathroom as the door clicks behind you, returning from the short hotel walk with a new keychain hanging from your sling bag.

"yeah sure, thanks." 

the water runs as he fills up the kettle as the constant whir of the aircon and the conversation on the television keeps you company in the vast quietness of the room. 

you weren't sure if you should say anything, but when you saw the dishevelled appearance of your roommate, you knew you had to bring up the argument and apology.

"haechan, about our... feelings. do you want to talk about them?" you whispered, a reply reaching your ears in the form of his spoon against the porcelain mug.

haechan hands you the drink wordlessly, sitting on the chair at the vanity before sipping cautiously at the tea. there are unexchanged glances between the two of you before he sighs at your expectant hand tapping the sheets.

"i think it's about time we did," he mumbled, dragging the laptop off the wooden table with anxiety. the other opened it without saying anything, catching you by surprise when the mouse hovers over your note.

"hae- donghyuck! no! what the hell?"

he holds up a hand and clicks on it anyway, making your heart drop to your stomach as he turned the device towards you.

"read the bottom." haechan whispers as you pull the laptop closer to you, settling it on your lap as he observed your expressions carefully.

'i read it, i'm sorry.' you look at him and lift up a hand to prepare to whack him, a defeated sigh escaping you before you carried on.

'was it wrong to read it? of course, and i cannot apologise more for doing shit like that when we still have unsolved tension between us in this small ass room. it was incorrect, but.'

'do you feel the same as me? is bickering all we have to do? why can't we work anything out? they're the questions i keep asking myself after i read your letter.'

'i guess i was too caught up in the fight and not wanting to be the loser that i... can't deny that i've never thought about wanting to get to know you, even if you were that sought out to be my destined enemy.'

'when we fought earlier, you kissed me. i know we said not to mention it, but, uhm, it was good. i liked it. i'm not sure if the reason why you did it was because of the reason you mentioned in the note, but at the time, i assumed it was to shut me up. i thought something would happen after, though you pushed me away and apologised right away.'

'it was a far off dream that i had, but i think it was after i bandaged your foot. you said that you didn't know what was going on in my mind, and i told you.'

'it was like, i was granted an insight into an alternate world, another universe where you didn't feel the strain, where you legitimately assumed i was going for your position.'

'you scoffed when i confessed, right then and there, on day 9. i was counting, too, and it was a scary, confusing dream. i think that's why i held it off as long as i could until your words puzzled and angered me further because you just didn't get it.'

'you scoffed and told me to get lost, pushing on my shoulders where we fought on the balcony for everyone to see. you never spoke to me, you never mentioned my article nor the interviews. we never joked over wine, and we always kept to our side of the bed.'

'i was convinced that heaven wanted me to stay away from you and your heart. maybe it was broken too many times, and you had someone up there looking out for you.'

'i feel like i'm copying off the textbook of some greek mythology starter pack, but i'm for real! no kidding.' you smiled, looking at him with nervous eyes at the small joke he put in.

'i guess whoever put that dream in my sleep really wanted us not to be together because i think i would've told you i liked you on the spot itself. i let my conscious get the best of me.'

'i know this is a lazy way of conveying my feelings, and i wished i could do it with words, but i feel like you wouldn't believe me otherwise. i rushed it this morning when you went on your morning walk around the hotel and when you let me know of your stroll in a soft voice, i wanted nothing more than to get you in my arms as we wake up to the housekeeping service.'

'i didn't want any more tension between us, and i didn't want to be interrupted by your alarm while we avoid each other more. it hurts seeing you escape the room in haste. you said it was weird for me to tag along with someone i hate, too, and that someone was you. i guess you found out why.'

looking up, you found him right in front of you, mouth dry from his reply to your letter. with a gulp, you leaned forward to meet his lips halfway.

"i'm sorry to whoever's up there," he whispers, prompting a grin and a laugh out of you.

the laptop is forgotten on the bed as haechan situates himself over you, clutching your shoulder gently while his lips move quickly, fast to make up for lost time. 

"wait wait, wait, you're not playing me, are you?" you mumble in return, reluctantly pulling away while witnessing the way his eyes soften at your guard still up. haechan shakes his head forlornly, tongue pressing up against the side of his mouth nervously.

"no, i'm not, (y/n)," he says quietly with as much sincerity he can muster, removing his hand from your shoulder with a forced smile. 

"okay." there's a shakiness to your voice, but when you bring his lips back to yours, it gives you a rush of confidence. your skin is burning up, and your hands can't stop wandering as his lips capture yours, repeatedly moving against yours like a trance.

you grant haechan access to your mouth with a whimper, melting into his embrace as his arms wrap tighter around your figure. his eagerness lingers when he pushes forward, straddling your lap as his leg nudges the laptop.

"wait, hyuck, wait, the laptop!" you joke, placing the device on the floor before getting back into the kiss with just as much fervour. within a minute or so, the other breaks away to say the words you so hated to hear:

"we... we need to talk. we can't just kiss the fight off, although i very much like to," haechan murmurs the last part, making you stifle a smile. 

you nod quickly, repeating the word "okay" like a robot. your hands naturally travel from his arms down to his fingers, and you clutch them like your life depended on it.

"we have... established, that i like you, correct?" haechan whispers, scooting closer as his tea-ridden breath surrounds you. from here, you could even smell the buttered croissant he ate this morning.

it made you smile, something simple as that.

"why- why are you laughing (y/n)?" he asks anxiously, eyes darting to find the reason why you found this so funny.

"no. no no no, i'm thinking of... the croissant you ate just now, and," you sigh, resting your head on his broad shoulder. 

"i'm thinking of the way your eyes light up when you show me the articles you idolise so much, and i'm thinking of the way you cuddle up to me whenever we watch stranger things." 

"i'm thinking of the way you thought i wouldn't give you a chance, even though i've been pondering on the same thing as you. i'm thinking of the things that make up lee haechan, lee donghyuck. yes, you like me, and yes i like you, but i guess i haven't told you the reason."

"i hated you, i really did. i found every reason to convince my mind to hate you. gaining trust, signing up for events you didn't know shit about, sucking up to the seniors, stealing my friends when they didn't know your personality. the personality i didn't even want to know because i was too busy in my little bubble."

"assuming you'd want to get department head was the cherry on top, because why else would you want to tag along? that was the factor that convinced me and confirmed my suspicions from day one."

you grunt in opposition, clearly not liking the truth that was spilling from your lips. haechan deserved to know, however. you kept your eyes trained on his lap where his hands were holding yours in support, crumbling from the blindness that caused your hatred. 

"so from then, the plane ride, immigration, the cab to the interview place, the cab back, the hotel room, my hatred for you boiled over." you listed, voice breaking as you looked haechan in the eye. 

"it was stupid of me to assume, to assume the worst of you when i didn't even know you. i wasn't even sure why i felt so bitter looking at you, but the way you acted, the way you whined, worked me up so much that i figured that was how you were."

"now when i'm sitting here with the curtains drawn, i can see why you're so attractable and easy to talk to and easy-going and bright that my friends keep talking to you."

"i can see why the seniors turn to you because you're reliable and hardworking without uttering a single word."

"i can see why you wanted to hop on this flight with me because you're always curious about the world and how you can expand your skill set."

and as you said word after word, haechan observes you with a soothing hand against your forearms. his eyes shine for a different reason, for the lost time he could've had if the two of you didn't have this massive barrier. a massive barrier that's been up for the longest time. 

brick by brick, the wall is being torn down. as you hold haechan's face in the stillness of the room, you feel closer to him than you've ever felt and his tears match your frustrated ones. 

choking on sobs, delayed apologies were all you could whisper.

"i'm sorry, i'm sorry, really. we fought so bad that day, and i was so goddamn insensitive..." you sigh, swallowing a lump when his hand reached up to wipe the tears. with a blocked nose, you breathe shakily as housekeeping interrupts the moment. 

you nod towards the door as he stood up slowly to reveal the same housekeeping girl. she cleaned up the bathroom and wardrobe quietly as the two of you stood awkwardly in the small space. she had left the sheets since everyone was practically stuck in, anyway.

haechan nudges you toward the door with a shove, shooting the same housekeeping girl a small smile and a bow as an apology to the previous run-in.

"he confessed his feelings?" she inquired softly, noticing the tear marks on your face.

you bit your lip, "yeah."

"that's good, he's finally not a coward." she laughs, folding the used towels and placing them with her.

you leaned against the door, asking for an explanation with your puzzled look.

"he was someone i liked, before. we had classes back in high school. it was just a dumb crush, honestly." the housekeeping girl shrugs, resting her head on her fist in thought.

"i think he liked me, and i did too, but we didn't do much except for exchange looks and flirt because both of us were just too scared." she shakes her head and adjusts the disinfectant spray bottle, fidgeting with the nozzle.

"i'm glad he had enough courage to admit his feelings." 

nodding along to her statement, she bids you farewell as her figure fades with each step, leaving you with a sense of calmness to the end of this situation.

[day 38]

"is... is this okay?" haechan asks, arm hovering over your body while waiting for your confirmation. you smile and nod, sinking into his side as you venture in the third season of stranger things together. 

"don't you think we should be working on our articles?" you whisper, looking up at him from where you were with raised eyebrows.

the boy opens and closes his mouth in thought, gesturing to the television with an exaggerated expression. 

"stranger things, ma'am."

you click your tongue and sigh with a smile, turning back to the show as you try to relax for an online interview in a few hours.

[day 39]

"what do you say about my set-up?" haechan nudges you, proud of the hangout area he prepared on the balcony. although small, he had no trouble making it look comfortable. 

with a smile, you pop open the wine to celebrate the last scheduled interview for the trip, clinking glasses with haechan in the setting sun.

the country you were supposed to return to was slowly opening up flights for those stranded overseas and as refreshing as a different environment was, you missed home and the warmness of it.

you missed the office and your desk. hell, you even missed the mediocre coffee from the pantry.

with the last of the wine finishing, haechan pours half into your glass and the other into his, clinking one last time before you one-shot the beverage.

the high of the alcohol is gradually brought down by the mellow atmosphere and colours of twilight. as pink and orange cross over on the horizon, haechan mumbles a low "c'mere" to you in the darkness.

you hum in response and get up from your seat, bringing a pillow with you as haechan shifts to make space. sinking naturally into his arms, you sigh while you try to contain a smile full of content.

"this is nice," you admit, the corners of your lips disobeying your command, prompting you to shoot him a smile. haechan nods against your hair, a comfortable arm around your waist while you trace the tan skin of his arm.

the other taps your waist repeatedly, turning in response as he whispers out a question that makes your heart melt.

"can i kiss you?" you grin, slipping a hand around his neck and pulling him in right away. haechan's caught by surprise, laughing into your lips and striving to savour the moment as much as he could. 

a shout from across the hotel distracts you from the kiss. looking up, you realise it was the apartment resident opposite you shooting you a 'rock on' gesture.

"you guys are not fighting anymore! congrats!" you both stifle a snort as you wave back to the resident, sighing in relief when their balcony door slides shut.

"should we go inside, m'lady?" haechan giggles, replying in the form of a nod, cleaning up the area while you head in.

[day 41]

"i didn't think they'd be letting flights in so early," you mumble, folding your clothes neatly as your vision shifts to haechan... shoving his fair share of apparel into his luggage.

"donghyuck... what the hell?" you roll your eyes, shoving the boy softly as you took over the task at hand. switching personalities almost immediately, haechan fakes an interview segment with exaggerated tones.

"see, everyone, this is how you convince someone to do the work for you," the boy lays on the bed with a satisfied expression, "now i don't have to do anyth- ow!"

"if we ever live together, maybe i should punish you by doing the laundry and then folding it," you grunt, working at the speed faster than you expected while you fold shirt after shirt.

"are you proposing we move in together?" haechan peeks through an open eye, curiosity dripping from his tone. he tried to feign nonchalance but awaiting your answer felt like a weight on his heart.

your next words lifted that weight, a seemingly invisible force bringing his upper body off the bed as he stares at you in shock.

"maybe, not now but... in the future, maybe," you mumble the last part, focusing on the clothes to prevent the male from seeing the fluster on your face.

"for real?" haechan sits up, biting his lip to contain his excitement as your confirmation. 

"we'll be all stupidly domestic and shit, and i'll say i love you five years from now before you go off for work if you want that and stuff," your voice goes lower and quieter, especially towards the end, biting off way more than you could chew.

"aw! i love you too!" haechan gushes, bringing you into an embrace as your hands go limp, scrambling to explain your emphasis on the 'future'.

"d-donghyuck, i meant the future, not now..." you manage to spit out, hoping you need not answer his queries any more. your mind blanks out at the current situation, wishing you hadn't said those dumb things.

he grins into your neck, "i know, i'm just answering for future me."

you groan and escape the hug with a roll of your eyes, "yuck, too cheesy!" the boy just lets out a laugh, watching the way you fold his clothes despite your initial annoyance.

[day 42]

suyeon switches between the two of you in disbelief, finger crooked at the ambiguity of "we like each other".

"wha-" suyeon doesn't get the chance to finish the sentence before you shoot her a thumbs up, grabbing haechan by the arm and your stuff with the other.

you were happy to leave the office after a quick debrief since you two had reported to the office right after arriving at the airport, relieved when you heard he'd spare a few more days for your articles to be cleaned up.

"so, (y/n), what would you like to do now?" haechan looks at you through the reflective material of the elevator, observing the nervous wringing of your fingers.

you're glad for the material protecting your face because there's a smile that you struggle to keep as his soft, gentle voice carries through the quiet space.

the anxiety ends when the lift sounds, prompting your eyes to trail down his arm. your hand moves on its own accord, grabbing his last finger with yours as you proceed into the lift sheepishly, not missing the way haechan's eyes show his bright smile behind the mask.

"maybe i'll get to know you more, lee donghyuck."

haechan lets out a gasp, "have you not learned about me enough? scandalous." 

you feign a punch in his direction, the luggage beside you tripping over its wheels due to your swift movement. the only response you get is a giggle from the other as he tightens his pinky around yours, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek right above your face mask just as the elevator doors open.

"man, i really do want to punch you now," you mutter as you let haechan lead you, wanting nothing more than to rest in the arms of your enemy-turned-friend? enemy-turned-someoneyoulike?

you weren’t exactly sure.

he doesn't answer during the walk to the main road, nor the ride back to your home, the only constant thing being the way he admires your profile in the taxi, shrugging when you counter with a playful "what?". 

"nothing," haechan grins.

[there are more days to come]

sure, day forty-one may not have been the day you fell in love with haechan, nor the day where he outwardly claims you as his lover.

but, taking it slow never hurt anyone, either.

you know it in the way he tells you he can't go in unless he's invited and you see it in the way he asks if he can switch the television on while you prepare some drinks.

like the hotel, you know it in the way he asks if he can kiss you and the way he deepens his kisses with caution.

you appreciate it in the way he quickly apologises for a personal question, while visibly relaxing as you brush it off with a smile.

with hours pass, day forty-two becomes day forty-three, and haechan remains as chivalrous as always.

days pass, and you submit your articles. weeks pass, and you get to know the boy more and more. months pass, and you feel his love in the way he plays with your fingers in the dark and pulls you close under the sheets.

even if you hadn't acknowledged the love between the two of you, that note you wrote half-drunk matched the way you felt now—with how your heart clenches up and with how your grin never leaves your face with haechan around.

there are more days to come with lee haechan, lee donghyuck, even if it meant getting stuck together in a hotel room with unsaid words.

[potahun]

Some more Qin Shen Shen moments translations (Part 14/?)

2020 S2 Reunion Edition 5/? 

Link to other translations so far.

Full footage of Qin Shen Shen’s interview with Wen Yu Xin Tian Di. Some parts have already been translated (in part 10/?) and these will be marked, but otherwise, I am just translating the whole thing because the whole thing is a skit.

ZS (to the staff): Do I need to do the clapperboard? 

LKQ: *mumbles about something else*

ZS, staring at him: We’re starting the interview.

LKQ: Oh. Then I can’t do this wrong/Then I can’t say this. (T/N: Sorry, can’t hear very well which one he means)

ZS (to the staff): Do I need to do the clapperboard? *opens his arms to do the motion, but the interviewer stops him*

Interviewer: No need, no need.

ZS sits properly again.

LKQ, grabbing the microphone to look at the placard on it: What is this for? (ZS: It’s Wen Yu Xin Tian Di. Alright.)

I will be putting the rest under a cut because it’s LONG.

Interviewer: Ok, so the group named Qin Shen Shen has finally reunited. Let’s start by saying hi to the viewers of Wen Yu Xin Tian Di. 

(The next part has been translated in part 10/? ---- 0:19 to 1:00 in the vid. The questions concerned how they felt after reuniting and QSS replied that it was like nothing had changed)

Interviewer: Then, in the past months, have you been watching what the other’s been doing?

LKQ: Sure, one time or two. *quietly starts to laugh*

ZS, chortling: What does it mean, one time or two?

LKQ: I mean, messaging (each other). (ZS, understanding: Ah, ahh...) We did, we did, we did... (ZS: Yes, of course we contacted each other) Because recently...not recently-- this entire past year, a lot of things happened all around the world. (ZS: Yes) Whether in Hong Kong, or in the mainland...So, many times, we’d... check how the other’s doing. 

(The next part is translated in part 10/? ---- 1:23 to 1:42 in the vid.)

Interviewer: Then, have the two of you been checking out the 2nd season of “Wo Men De Ge”? 

Both: Of course! 

LKQ: A show with such a high rate of viewership...you got to watch at least a little....There’s a 25 years old newcomer in there. 

ZS, laughing: Aiya......he formed a new *whispers* Zuo Lin You Li now. *giggles* Can the mic pick this up? *whispers closer to the mic* Zuo Lin You Li. 

(T/N: Alan Tam aka Tan Yong Lin keeps saying he’s 25 even though he’s like...70. He and Li Keqin are friends and they used to form a duo called “Zuo Lin You Li”, meaning, literally, “Lin on the left, Li on the right” So Zhou Shen’s comment is in reference to how Alan Tam joked that the Alan Tam/Li Jian group on S2 is the new “Zuo Lin You Li”). 

Interviewer: Is there any performance that left a deep impression?

ZS, looking at LKQ: There are quite a few!

LKQ, nodding: Yeah, quite a few groups are really good.

ZS: Yeah, and all their arrangements are really great. Especially-- (with LKQ: Shi Tou!)

LKQ: Yeah, Shi Tou. I really like Shi Tou’s group. (ZS, talking at the same time: Shi Tou’s arrangements are *thumbs up* As expected, he’s Shi Tou) Whoa, the arrangements he does *appreciative sound*. That...that one recently... “Wang Qing Shui”. (ZS: Oh! Right, right, right.) It’s very good. Really, very good. And then...there’s also...that newcomer I was talking about just now -- the *using quotation marks with his fingers* “NEW ZUO LIN YOU LI”...

ZS, whispering again: Zuo Lin You Li. 

LKQ: ....is not bad either. *giggles*

ZS: Is it just “not bad”...? ...Which “Zuo Lin You Li” do you prefer? *accidentally hits himself in the face with the mic and lets out a surprised shout, before holding his cheek* I really can’t talk nonsense after all! ;;;

LKQ, belatedly but with an abrupt reaction: What do you mean “which” Zuo Lin You Li????! There’s only one Zuo Lin You Li!! 

ZS: ...I was wrong. That’s why I got hit by the mic just now. (LKQ: The other is a cover, a cover! *laughs*) Come now, this question should be asked by the interviewer. Three, two, one...

Interviewer: Then...teacher Keqin, do you feel like your position is being threatened?

ZS: Beating this much around the bush? Ask him in a more direct way. Three, two, one.

LKQ: Mm. One more time, one more time, one more time. 

The interviewer actually doesn’t add anything, so LKQ replies:

LKQ: Uh, aiyo *closes his eyes to think* First of all, it’s completely different. I think.......two people........Actually, I talked about it with the School Director (Alan Tam’s nickname) on the phone many times. (ZS: Oh really!) He keeps saying “eh, how about the 3 of us perform once?”

ZS: What would that be called? “Zuo Lin You... Li Li”?

LKQ: “Zuo Lin Er Li” (T/N: literally, “Left Lin, Two Li”). 

ZS: Oh... “Zuo Li Er Li”. 

LKQ: Because it’s two “Li”s. 

ZS: ... Is it not because you’re too “Er”? (T/N: the same “Er”, as in “two”, is also a term used to say that someone is silly / not very bright /a bit dense, if you apply it to describe a person. Not sure I am pinpointing the nuance correctly in English. Anyways, ZS’s face as soon as he says that:) 

LKQ: .... *shrugs* It doesn’t matter. I think, in any case, music is about having more different collaborations with people. (ZS: Okay. *giggles*) Mm. I think so. *nods* Next time.

ZS (to the camera): Everyone can look forward to “Zuo Lin Er Li.” (LKQ: *laughs* Ok)

Interviewer: This time you’re singing two songs, one is “Tokyo Love Story”, the other is “Under Mount Fuji”. Can you tell everyone why you chose these two songs?

ZS: Well, first off, “Under Mount Fuji” is because I strongly insisted on it. (LKQ agrees) And I insisted on us singing the Cantonese version. Because I really like this song’s lyrics in Cantonese. It’s really, just...Because usually, when us people who don’t speak Cantonese listen to Cantonese songs, we’ll often look up the lyrics and be moved by them. And “Under Mount Fuji” is one of those songs. So I think, if I can sing with teacher Keqin, we must definitely sing this one. *smiles and puts hand over mouth* I keep on coming here to realise dreams.

LKQ: What he said just now, I never heard it before. (ZS: But it’s true!) I know! And...when he told me we should sing this song, I told him “actually, a few years back, I sang it-- (ZS: --on that show where he showed his mouth) ... *LKQ tries not to laugh* I actually sang it, is that ok-- (ZS, instantly pointing at the camera: Eh! Everyone look it up on the net, you’ll see how precise and accurate what I said is. Because his outfit and styling on that show is simply... “showing the mouth”.) 

The styling at issue: 

ZS giggles, while LKQ looks away and licks his lips.

LKQ, finally continuing: And then he told me that what we’d sing would be a version sung with harmonisation. That a version sung by two people is different. So I said “Ok lah, ok lah. Last time, I sang in Cantonese, this time I can sing it in Mandarin.” In the end, it’s still Cantonese.

ZS: Yes, because this, this, this *sighs* I just like it...

LKQ, interrupting (to the camera): It’s easier for me!!!!! OK.

Interviewer (to LKQ): Then, do you think his (ZS) Cantonese has improved? 

LKQ: *thinks* (ZS laughs and puts the mic closer to his mouth) He doesn’t speak a lot.

ZS: *snorts* SINGING-WISE. 

LKQ: Singing... It’s similar. (ZS opens wide eyes at him) It’s similar to my Mandarin!

ZS, shaking head: Oh that... (LKQ: Do you think I improved?) It’s way better than your Mandarin! (LKQ: Oh, really? I can’t tell at all!) 

Both laugh.

LKQ: Okay lah~ (to the camera) His Cantonese is really okay.

ZS: As for teacher Keqin, what I didn’t know was that his Mandarin isn’t bad to the extent that...wait no. *bursts out laughing along with LKQ* (LKQ: It...it didn’t regress!) It’s not THAAAAT bad. Yeah, it didn’t regress too much. (LKQ: Not too much, ok) *motions with hand* A teeny bit. A bit. A teeny weeny bit. (LKQ tries to imitate the first way of saying ‘a tiny bit’ i.e. yi diu diu)

LKQ: There’s a second song: Tokyo Love Story.

ZS: Tokyo Love Story. Should be a song that’s part of many people’s memories. 

LKQ: *motions towards different corners of the ceiling* Yeah. Many people. Many people’s memory (ZS follows his hands with his eyes, going ???) I actually didn’t watch that drama. It’s not even part of my era. (ZS: I didn’t watch that drama either but that song, I did hear it once or twice) Ohhh. It’s a nice song. 

ZS: Yes, it’s a nice song. It counts as a challenge, actually.

LKQ: Yes, it’s a challenge. Because there’s a part in Japanese.

ZS, leaning towards LKQ but speaking into the mic: This time...this time teacher Keqin will sing in Japanese.

LKQ: Japanese is of course easy for you. 

ZS: It’s okay, it’s not that “easy” either. But...(to the camera) teacher Keqin singing in Japanese is really cute.

LKQ holds onto the table and breathes in deeply.

Interviewer: How is it cute?

ZS: Mm, you’ll just know when you hear it. It’s just very cute. Super cute. Maybe it’s just... *giggles*

LKQ: I tell you...when things are being described with the word “cute”.....you need to go back and seriously re-examine yourself. (ZS, horrified: Haaaahhh?!) *bursts out laughing*

ZS, still horrified: People often tell me I’m very cute!! *holds chest*

LKQ: Hey! People always tell me “Keqin, your dancing is very cute”! (ZS: People tell me “Zhou Shen, you’re very cute as a person”!!) ..... Have you ever heard anyone say that Aaron Kwok’s dancing is “cute”? *looks at him meaningfully*

ZS, staring: .................... I don’t want to film this anymore. 

LKQ: *giggles*

ZS, again in sudden horror: HAH?! (LKQ: Mm *nods*) ..............*calms down* I want to be serious. (LKQ: Mm.) In the future, when people tell me I’m cute, I’ll know what they mean...Okay. 

LKQ: It means you have “room for improvement”.

ZS, at the same time (to the interviewer): Teacher, am I cute?

Interviewer: Super cute.

ZS pulls a horrified face.

ZS (to the interviewer): You haven’t been listening at all to our conversation, have you??? (to LKQ) Did you see? He just said I’m super cute -- you talk with him. *pushes the mic into LKQ’s hands and pretends to leave*

LKQ: *laughs* Come back, come back. (ZS comes back and sits) He said you have “room for improvement”. (ZS: Oomph!) It’s still good. Still good. You’re already very good (ZS, in a sharp squawking voice while pointing at LKQ: You’re defending him???) You’re already very good! Okay, okay. 

Interviewer: Are there any obstacles to singing in Japanese?

LKQ: Whoa! *points at ZS* Well there definitely aren’t any obstacles for him, but for me... (ZS: Why aren’t there obstacles for me? There are!) I never sang in Japanese, and.... 

ZS re-adjusts the grasp he has on the mic, which makes it jump at little and causes LKQ to think he wants him to hold it. LKQ reaches out for it, but ZS backs off:

ZS, reassuring: It’s okay! It just fell a bit. (LKQ: Oh, oh, ok.) *makes the mic jump again to tease LKQ*

LKQ: I was in confinement, so I had a lot of time. (ZS makes the mic jump again) So I just practiced a lot. Also, my wife understand a little bit of Japanese. (ZS, genuinely surprised: Oooh!) Yeah, so I asked her everyday for advice. (ZS: Oooooh!) ...Yeah. So! If I don’t sing well, it’s not my problem. It’s hers.

ZS: My God. I’ve definitely learned that way of answering questions. (LKQ: It’s because she didn’t teach me well) *laughs* As expected, you can learn a lot from senior singers. (LKQ just sways impishly)

Interviewer: Then, Zhou Shen, why don’t you have any problems with Japanese? (ZS, instantly: NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS) 

LKQ bursts out laughing. 

Interviewer: In the future, will you fulfil the netizens’ wish of seeing more of your interactions and more of your collaborations?

ZS: ? We have quite a lot of interactions? ... Maybe not on Weibo. It’s still okay, it’s not to the extent that we don’t interact at all. 

LKQ: Do you need a bit more?

ZS: How so? Do we have to tag each other daily on Weibo? *laughs* That’s too tiring, each time I post on Weibo, I reply to the first 20 comments.

LKQ: Yeah, each morning after playing ball...ah! You can’t get up in the mornings.

ZS: Yeah...so...in the mornings don’t look for me.

LKQ: Your morning is my afternoon. (ZS: In the mornings, I’m not available) Yeah, after playing ball...

ZS: Ah! We should sing that song: *sings* “Your nighttime is my daytime~" -- you don’t know this song.

LKQ: If you sing “Like Daytime Fails to Understand the Night’s Darkness” (a song by Na Ying), then I know. 

ZS, singing that song: You’ll never understand my sadness...!

LKQ, imitating, but exaggerating ZS’ hand movement: You’ll never UNderstand... UNDerstand! 

ZS: Eh. Na Jie. You saw this right? This is what teacher Keqin said. *laughs*

[insomnia-without-limits]

The Night Terror

(LONG ASS POST. I can’t add a read more since I’m on mobile rip)

Freddy wanted to break the Resolute Dream-Walker. The Entity wanted a new killer. A deal was quickly struck.

Power: Micronapping. When standing still for too long, survivors begin to experience a Micronap (represented by floating 1-3 Zs above them in the HUD), which causes them to hallucinate periodically and have decreased action speed.

There are three phases to a Micronap.

Phase 1: Failing a skill check (except when sabotaging) or becoming hooked will wake the survivor up, or they can perform the Wake Up action, where they will need to complete a handful of skill checks. Minor hallucinations - hearing the terror radius when far away, images of the killer pop up briefly. 20% action speed penalty.

Phase 2: similar to phase 1, except without the Wake Up action prompt. Hallucinations become more disturbing; corpses are seen on the ground at random. Opening a locker may cause a dead body to fall out, or will appear to have the killer inside of it briefly. A more human version of The Night Terror will appear on hooks, dangling lifelessly. It won’t have any eyes, and has bloody tear stains. When not being looked at, may turn it’s head to look at the closest survivor and/or point at them angrily, or become stuck in a static ‘struggle’ position. 30% action speed penalty.

Phase 3: being hooked will not wake survivors up. In order to do so, the survivor must do one of the following:

With a medkit or the Self Care perk, there will be a prompt to Stab Yourself. Doing so will wake you up completely, but will alert the killer of your location, and cause a bleeding effect similar to the Hemorrhage status effect (note: does NOT actually injure the survivor, or take up charges from the medkit)

With a generator, you can Overcharge it, causing a massive explosion that disorients the survivor briefly and causes major regression to any progress that’s been made to it. Will also disorient any other survivors working on it

Set off a firecracker at their feet

Survivors cannot see progress bars in this phase. 40% action speed penalty. Constantly hears the heartbeat as if they were on the edge of the terror radius. Killer has no red stain. Hallucinations range from bizarre to morbid. Hooked hallucinations will flail about and scream if you get too close, alerting the killer. Broken hooks contain a similar fake-Quentin, only he’s hanging from a rope where the hook would normally be. This one doesn’t move at all. Visibly more decayed than the hooked version; crows periodically land on him and peck at his flesh. Maggots can be seen crawling on him. If approached, the rope will snap and he will simply fall to the ground, giving the killer a visual notification. Exit gates may appear open/closed until approached, which they’ll then revert to their correct state. False survivors can be seen walking around, going through walls, running in place, or moving about while completely static or stuck in a random position. Entering a locker may cause a fake Night Terror to jump out of it and attack the survivor, disappearing before doing any actual damage.

NOTE: The Night Terror cannot see the auras of the hallucinations, though he can see and hear them if he’s nearby. In Phase 2 and 3, failing a skill check on a generator (but NOT Overcharging it) has a small chance of swapping its progress with another generator (ex. It becomes complete but now a previously completed generator needs to be fixed), which is affected by luck and add-ons. More general effects can be applied with add-ons.

Weapons

Right hand—The Paper Cutter: A blade from a paper cutting machine. Once used by Nancy to kill Krueger, now permanently stained with the blood of Quentin’s former colleagues.

Left hand—Stolen Adrenaline: A self-replenishing adrenaline shot. Can be used on himself or the survivors. Sadly, it does not help keep him awake like it once did.

Adrenaline shot effects (AKA Adrenaline Rush)

When used on himself, The Night Terror gains a stack of Bloodlust for a short time before going into withdrawal, during which he cannot use the shot on himself, or gain Bloodlust naturally. Can be modified with add-ons.

When used on survivors, it gives them a short speed boost (like when you take damage) but causes Exhaustion for 30 seconds, and forces them into the next stage of the micronap. Can be modified with add-ons.

Perks

Wake Up!: while survivors are within his terror radius, they gain increased action speed, but more frequent and much harder skill checks. While in the terror radius, exit gates take longer to open. ((The logic behind this: desperate to escape from this nightmare, survivors try to speed up repairs/healing/etc, which can lead to careless mistakes being made. The exit gate part is inspired by the fact that when you try to run in a bad dream, you run reeeeaaaalllly slowly/run in place))

Vigil: upon failing a skill check, the survivor gains a random ailment for 40/50/60 seconds. Afflictions of the same type do not stack, but will cause the timer to refresh instead. If skill check are failed in rapid succession, the survivor can have multiple afflictions at once. When performing a co-op action/healing someone, upon failing a skill check there’s a 25%/50%/75% chance that all other survivors performing the co op action will receive a random ailment. Not affected by luck. Note: each extra survivor has a separate chance to be affected, and won’t necessarily have the same afflictions. Level three of this perk can inflict the Exposed status.

Hex: Pharmacy: while this Hex is active, survivors cannot heal injured survivors without a medkit, including themselves (survivors on the ground in the dying state are exempt from this rule). However, all chests will guarantee a medkit of any rarity upon being searched, and will refresh every 30/45/60 seconds, closing and becoming searchable once more. Once this Hex is no longer active, the healing penalty is removed, but medkits cannot be found in chests for the rest of the match, and any open chests with a medkit in it will slam shut and become searchable again.

Appearance

He’s the same size as his normal survivor model, but far more disheveled. His beanie and necklace are gone. A large patch of hair is missing, having been cut off by The Nightmare (both as a memento and to further dehumanize Quentin). There are claw marks all over his body. Some of them have bloody bandages wrapped around them. His clothing is torn. There’s a wound on his right wrist where he injects himself with adrenaline, which is visibly infected, dripping a Blight-like puss. His cheek has a hole in it, caused from him chewing on it anxiously, and made worse by Freddy. The top half of his face is completely shrouded in shadow. Not even flashlights can penetrate it. The only part of his eyes you can see are his pupils, which are glowing white pinpricks of light. His movements are lethargic and uncoordinated, even while attacking. When he uses his adrenaline, he becomes more focused and precise. His breathing is very watery, as if he had fluid in his lungs. His appearance also changes depending on the phase of micronap a survivor is in.

Fully awake: looks normal

Phase 1 : face is completely black, and radiates a dark black mist. Slightly taller than normal, limbs are a little longer and thinner.

Phase 2: skin is completely black, also emanating fog. Clothing is normal, albeit more ragged. About as tall as the Trapper now. His weapon looks more like a proper weapon, and is far more menacing.

Phase 3: clothing is gone. Leaves behind a trail of mist as he walks. Looks like a living shadow. Still has his glowing white pupils that don’t ever seems to move. Easily one of the tallest killers. Limbs are long and lanky. Has large, clawed hands and feet. His weapon is gone, now using his newfound claws to attack. The adrenaline shot is only present when he’s using it. His breathing is still watery, but sounds more animalistic.

Mori: the survivor scrambles to their feet as he lumbers towards them, backing away with their hands held out in a fearful gesture. He cuts off their right hand, causing them to stumble and fall back on their rear, cradling their injured arm. They look up at him, and he slashes at their neck, nearly decapitating them in the process.

If the survivor is in phase 3, the animation changes. He crawls on top of the survivor, placing a finger over his victim’s lips in a ‘shhhh’ motion. They scream, which causes him to flinch away. He becomes agitated, growling before lunging forwards and griping the survivor’s head between his massive hands. He squeezes, slowly crushing their skull as they scream again. You can hear their skull slowly breaking, ending with one final, loud CRACK! He removes his hands, staring at them for a moment before gently closing their eyes and moving away.

Add-ons

Common

Old Needle: slightly increases the use time and cooldown of Adrenaline Rush. Slightly increases the Exhaustion effect on Survivors (+10 seconds). Stacks. Dulled by repeated usage, extra force is required to push it into the flesh.

New Needle: slightly decreases the cooldown and use time of Adrenaline Rush. Slightly increases Bloodlust’s duration (+1 second). Stacks. Fresh out of the factory, this needle takes little effort to inject with.

Uncommon

Dull Needle: moderately increases the use time and cooldown of Adrenaline Rush. Moderately increases the Exhaustion effect on Survivors (+20 seconds). Stacks. Manually filed down to maximize discomfort when being used. Causes the flesh around the injected area to throb with pain.

Sharp Needle: moderately decreases the cooldown and use time of Adrenaline Rush. Moderately increases Bloodlust’s duration (+2 seconds). Stacks. Filed to a point for easy in-and-out injections. Expect a sore spot in the morning.

Broken Bone: a bone from a regular totem that broke after being stepped on. Depending on the phase of micronap, 1-3 false dull totems will spawn (unique for each survivor), which will break two thirds of the way into a cleansing, awarding half the normal bloodpoints. Can be detected by perks and maps. Normal dull totems will sometimes appear to be broken until approached. Awake survivors are not affected. Stacks.

Rare

Rusty Needle: inflicts the mangled status effect for 120 seconds. Affected survivors suffer from a moderate action speed penalty to generator repairs and any healing done on them. Considerably increases the cooldown of Adrenaline Rush. A rusty needle that really shouldn’t be used on anyone.

Barbed Needle: inflicts the hemorrhage effect until the affected survivor is healed. The survivor will bleed for 15 seconds after being hit with the needle. Tremendously increases the use time of Adrenaline Rush. A needle with a hooked end, akin to a fish hook. Easy to push in, hard to take out. Usually takes a chunk of flesh with it. Ouch.

Burnt Totem Candle: Dull totems randomly appear to be lit up for 30 seconds when a survivor is within a 28 meter range. The same totem cannot disguise itself for another 60 seconds. Awake survivors are not affected. Stacks.

Frayed Black Cord: survivors in phase 2 and 3 see 1-2 false hatches, which will close when they go to jump in. The false hatch has a white aura to the killer.

Very Rare

Extra Large Syringe: allows the adrenaline shot to be used twice before recharging. Shot effects stack on the same target. Using both shots doubles the reload time, while using one then recharging has a normal reload time. Stacks. Double the adrenaline, double the fun!

Frayed Red Cord: Hex Totems appear to be dull totems for 30 seconds when a survivor is within a 28 meter range. The same totem cannot disguise itself for another 60 seconds. Awake survivors are not affected. Stacks.

Ultra Rare

Grey Ward: each chest has a separate chance to be trapped, causing a phantasm killer to pop out upon a successful search. The phantom will do one of three things: injure the survivor (will inflict the Deep Wound status if they’re already injured), knock their item out of their hands and deplete some charges (if holding one), or steal their item (if holding one; re-search the chest to recover it. An additional item will be left in the chest). Each event will still yield an item from the chest. If the Pharmacy Hex is active, each time a chest is refreshed, there’s a separate chance of it being trapped. Affected by luck. Note: the killer does NOT receive any sort of notification of this phantasm. Affects survivors irregardless of micronap status.

Home-made Drugs: survivors hit with the adrenaline cannot fully awaken the micronap, only go down to phase 1 at the least. If hit a second time, phase 2 is the lowest they can go. Removes the ability to use the adrenaline on yourself. Survivors cannot be stuck in phase 3.

Melted Medallion: a reminder of who you used to be. Enhances your powers and fills you with rage. Each time a generator is powered, Adrenaline Rush becomes immediately usable if it was on cooldown. A religious necklace that was tossed into the preschool’s furnace, salvaged from the ashes. It is all but unrecognizable.

[hazinhoodies]

October part 4

A/N: i had this ready for so long and decided to rewrite it last night and i didn’t proofread to the best of my abilities so im sorry. all parts are tagged under october fic

Warnings: none

Word count: 2k (the longest chapter so far at least)

Emma and Hannah talked for the rest of the night about anything they could. When no one spoke, they sat in a comfortable silence until it was broken with one of them sarcastically threatening the other or speaking with no provocation.

“Cough one more time and I’ll throw you in the lake” -Emma 9:34

“What do you think our pets name us?” -Hannah 9:57

“Thanks, I hate it” -Emma 10:22

“How confused do you think a lion would be if it saw an octopus?” -Hannah 10:49

“Frankenstein is oddly symmetrical” -Also Hannah 

After the last one Emma finally looked up. “You know, it’s times like these when I wonder how we ever became friends’

“We were both lonely so we decided to be lonely together”

“Ah right, the greatest mistake of my life” Emma recalled. Hannah’s jaw dropped in shock

“Emma!”

“Okay okay i’m sorry” Emma couldn’t hold back her laughter “I should probably go, it’s getting late here” She glanced at the clock 11:52pm.

“Oh sure break my heart and run away why don’t you” Hannah spoke flatly before they said their goodbyes and hung up.

Emma hadn’t noticed how dark her room had actually become until Hannah had hung up. Her laptop providing the only light in the room. She quickly changed and got into bed, pulling the duvet up over her shoulders. She started to ponder the events of the day, almost definitely overthinking everything. How could you have already made him hate you.

Harrison lied awake in his bed, he’d been struggling to sleep for a while. The photo still etched into his brain. Did something happen? Was it just for a project?  He’d never craved answers so much. If he could actually talk to her without making a fool of himself then maybe he’d get them. After about another hour and a glass of water, sleep finally took over.

A few days had passed and went pretty well. Emma had already figured out how to get around set, at least to the important parts; Her trailer, Toms trailer, Z’s, Jacob’s. The important ones. Her first interview of the day was Tony, she had to wait an hour or so for Z and Jacob to finish their next scene so she stayed in Tony’s trailer and talked with him.

They asked each other an abundance of questions. By the end of it Tony could have probably written her biography. Emma could have answered any questions you had about him. Favourite food? Favourite colour? She knows it.

“You and Tony got real close huh?” Z asked after her interview.

Emma shrugged “I guess so. I mean, he’s really nice and we had an hour to kill so we just.. Talked. Things just flowed. It was a nice change honestly”

‘Change from what?” Z looked over at her as Emma sighed. “Come sit here, we’re gonna be awhile” she patted the seat next to her and Emma sat down.

“A change from from what?” Zendaya repeated

“Holland and co” Emma paused “They're all super nice don’t get me wrong, Sam and I constantly. Just whenever Harrison is there things get kinda awkward”

Zendayas features soften, her voice filled with sympathy “He’s just like that sometimes I guess. Tom and him have been friends for years already. Just don’t take it to heart Em.” Emma nodded “Good. Now tonight you’re coming back to my hotel with me and we’re gonna talk got it? Great”

Emma chuckled “I see that i get no say in this whatsoever”

Zendaya shook her head “None at all”

Once Z wrapped, her driver drove both of them back to her hotel, which was significantly larger than Emmas.

“Okay important stuff first” Zendaya starts as soon as the door shuts behind them. “Hogwarts house. Favourite musical. Favourite band or artist or whatever” she counts them off on her fingers as she speaks.

Emma smiled “Ravenclaw, les mis or grease, probably Bowie”

“Bowie, really?” Zendaya echoed as they sat down on the couch, Emma nodded

“Yeah or maybe the Beatles” Zendaya looked shocked “What do you think i only ever listen to orchestra music?”

“No just didn’t picture you as a classic rock fan”

“I’m just full of surprises” Emma spoke sarcastically.

“Okay well I still know nothing about you and that seems kind of unfair considering you could google everything about me. So tell me stuff” Z leaned in closer, whispering the last sentence

“How personal do you want me to get?” Emma asked

“As much as your comfortable with” Z explained.

“I mean if were going all the way back I lived with my mom growing up, bout an hour outside of Toronto, never really knew my dad. I have a few vague memories but he left when I was six so they aren’t much. I’ve always been pretty music-oriented and my family never knew where I got it from. They were all science and math people My best friend, Hannah, we met when we were 7 at a youth band thing and have been stuck together since. We did everything together. We actually both graduated early and applied to the same universities but she stayed in the city to do musical neuroscience and I moved six hours away for performance music and then switched into composition” Emma ended.

“What about like dating and stuff? There's no way you’ve never had a boyfriend” Z leaned back, resting her elbow on the back of the couch, holding her head up.

“I dated the same guy for all four years of high school and into uni” Zendaya’s eyes went wide “Yeah it was really good at first but around the end of my junior year it got ugly. But we’d been dating so long I was almost convinced that it was normal. Once I got into university it got really bad and that’s when I came to my senses” Emma spoke calmly. Something about Z made her easy to trust.

The rest of the night went by quickly. They talked, ordered food, and watched Brooklyn Nine-Nine for the rest of the night.

The next two weeks on set went by pretty much the same. When Emma wasn’t doing post-scene interviews, she was in either Toms, Zs or Tony’s trailer. She had become pretty close with some more of the cast, particularly Jacob and Remy, definitely the most comfortable with Tony though.  She’d grown pretty close with Sam and Harry. Even becoming closer with Harrison. To the point were the two of them plus Sam watched the dark knight rises in Tom’s trailer after Emma had admitted to never having seen it. Even still, it was always fleeting gazes or staring way too long with both of them, neither approaching the other unless someone else was there, and still, they were all stutters and flushed cheeks.  

Emma had not had a good morning so far. It was Michael’s last day on set for a while so it was going to be only her now. Of course the first day without Michael and she woke up late and couldn’t get her coffee maker to work and found that the pants she’d planned on wearing, she hadn’t packed. Instead opting for a black skirt and a yellow top with the same pair of ankle boots as always, her hair pulled into a ponytail. Michael had gone in early so the drive to set was just Iris and Emma. It was slightly awkward, normally Michael would be the one to speak up and start conversations but without him there it was silent. The only good part of her morning so far, had been Iris offering to stop and get coffee when Emma told her of her morning so far.

Once she was out of the car, Emma started towards her and Michaels trailer, coffee in hand and her bag on her back. She felt her phone start to ring and pulled it out of the waistband of her skirt and with one hand, answered it holding it up to her ear

“Oh perfect you answered” Michael started, not even giving emma time to say hello “I have some stuff for you to listen to once you get here. I’d really like your input”

“Okay. Iris just dropped me off I’ll be there in like two minutes” Emma found herself walking in between the abundance of trailers.

“Great. You remember which one right?”

“Yes of course I do Michael, it’s been two weeks. I’ll be fine. Bye”

“Okay well just text if you get lost. Bye now”

Emma pushed her phone back into her waistband. She looked up, but not soon enough to avoid the chest she walked straight into, the other person also on their phone.

Harrison

Emma stumbled back, dropping her pretty much full coffee on the ground. Harrisons hands immediately went to her waist to stabilize her, feeling her stiffen underneath his touch.

“Sorry about that, I should’ve been paying more attention” Emma looked up at Harrison. He was easily six inches taller than her. Everything she’d worried about during the very first interview had come true. She wasn’t able to look away now. She noticed the smallest details about him that she hadn’t before. Like the way his eyes got more green towards the outside, or the light stubble along his jaw, or how his cheeks seemed slightly more pink than normal.

“It’s alright darling, just watch out next time, yeah?” Harrison gave a small smile and Emma nodded. They were both lost in each other for a few moments. As if they were trying to memorize every detail of the other. Like the faint freckles scattered across her nose and cheeks.

Darling? It had rolled so easily off his lips, he hadn’t even noticed he said it.

It took a minute before Harrison realized how close they really were. He reluctantly pulled his hands away from her waist. As he did Emma broke their eye contact and took a step back, bending down to pick up the fallen cup.

“Ill uh.. I’ll buy you a new one” Harrison spoke, Emma looked up at him as she stood.

“No no you don’t have to really” She shook her head “It’s just a coffee. It’s not a big deal” They stood there for a moment, neither speaking, Harrisons hands in his pockets as Emma’s fiddled with the now empty cup “I should uh” Emma wet her lips quickly “I should get going” she barely looked up as the both nodded and she walked towards the trailer.

Once she was inside she threw out the cup and grabbed a paper towel to wipe off the  drops of coffee that had bounced up onto her legs. She placed her stuff on her desk and dragged her chair over to Michaels desk.

“You wanted me to listen to something?” she said as she sat down

“Yeah yeah give me one second” he said placing a few final notes in the composition program before hitting play on the theme he had written so far for the movie. After about four minutes, what he has so far ends. He looks towards Emma with a questioning glance “So?

“I uh It’s amazing obviously but.. I think it should have less to do with that triumphant superhero stuff you’ve got going on and more towards Peters loyalty and concern for his friends. I definitely wouldn’t scrap this though, maybe just not for the scene you’ve got it for” Michael nods as Emma speaks. Adding little “hm”s and “okay”s here and there.

“How about this. I want you to write it for this scene” Emma’s eyes widen in shock.

“Waitwaitwait you- I- you want me to write part of the score?” Emma barely stutters out

“Well yeah. Your name doesn’t get put in the credits unless you actually write something because technically you work for me not marvel and I want you name in there as badly as you probably do. So if you write something, you get credit.” Michael looks over at Emma, her jaw dropped. “I’ll take that as yes but Emma you’re going to catch flies. I have a meeting to go to now but you know what to do” Michael grabbed his bag and left.

Heres some writers that let me tag them :)

@cherryhollands @darlintom @starksparker @starksmile @hollandroos @marvelellie @dej-okay @h-osterfield @upsidedownparker

Taglist: @rainbow-marvel (thanks :))

[cheetahsprints]

Quicken

Summary: In which Harry and Cisco find mutual comfort in their friendship. And it evolves, as natural as the changing of seasons. Word Count: 2329

“Where are you going?”

“Out.”

He doesn’t make it past the hallway. He stops, leaning against the wall, hand pressed to his mouth. His arms tremble with vexation. It’s all he seems to feel anymore, this roaring in his head. 

He’s reminded, like a broken record, that he can’t outsmart DeVoe. There’s options, he’s considering, to raise his own intellect. But at what cost? There are risks involved in any such endeavor, but his brain is his most precious asset. It’s how he built STAR, it’s how he got to this Earth, it’s part of his connection with Cisco.

Cisco. He blinks as Cisco breezes by him. He groans softly and grumbles something inaudible. He’s clutching his head, rubbing at his temple. Harry forgets he’s not the only one with tough days. He’s not the only one who can’t always beat the enemy. 

Harry follows him into the workshop. He taps at the keys on the computer. Should he still be working? 

He hears Cisco say, “I’m sick of getting mind-whammied in my vibes. I’m sick of Barry jumping down my throat. And Ralph -- ugh.”

“I’m a hair away from ditching this place and chilling on another Earth until this blows over. I’ve been nothing but a punching bag and a babysitter.”

“That’s -- well it’s kind of true. But you don’t have to leave Ramon.”

Cisco flinches at the sound of Harry’s voice. He tried to keep his voice lowered. Cisco glances at him, but he’s caught up in what he’s doing. He’s thankful Iris was there to get Barry off his back. But what if she hadn’t been? Why doesn’t he ever speak up?

He knows why. He doesn’t want to admit it to himself. He acts like a doormat, because he’s afraid. He’s afraid they won’t want him around if they think he’s a stick in the mud. If he starts complaining -- well there’s no putting that back in Pandora’s Box. Barry doesn’t treat him like an equal. Ralph is Barry’s idea, his responsibility, yet he expects everyone else to put Ralph above their own needs. Sure he needs to be protected, he’s a person, they can’t let DeVoe take his powers. 

That doesn’t mean Cisco has to sleep on his damp futon and not even beg Barry to take the next shift. Barry should just do it. Cisco barely gets rest, between his nightmares and his vibe abilities exacerbating them. He figures the others don’t catch much Zs either. However, Barry offers to take the next shift like it’s not actually his problem, and he’s doing some great deed for a friend. 

And Cisco pats him on the back like the wishy-washy person that he’s been for the last year. Possibly longer. Reverb may have been evil, but Cisco could benefit from taking a few pages out of his book.

“I’m not serious. I’m just. I’m tired, Harry.” Cisco sighs. “Sometimes, I don’t feel like I matter to anyone.”

Harry claps him on the shoulder. He turns Cisco to face him. He loosens the tightness in his expression, allowing Cisco to see the honesty in his next words.

“You matter. To me at least. To Barry, he’s just got his wires crossed.”

Harry continues, “This team would be nothing without you. You’ve gotten them out of more scrapes than I can count, Dibny especially.” 

“They see me as suits and tech and convenient breaches.”

“You’re an exceptional human being.” Harry leans forward looking him deep in the eye and says, “You know and I know you ought to start acting like it.”

Cisco bites his lip. He drags his fingers across his throbbing temple. “I. I’m. I don’t know. What if I take charge and they think I’m -”

He inhales. He braces himself on the desk as a wave of nausea hits. It doesn’t bear thinking about, how the team might react. He got enough from his family, always telling him he was too opinionated, too loud, too annoying. 

These days, Harry is the only person he can feel like being himself with. That used to be Caitlin, but for reasons unknown they’ve drifted apart. And it used to include Barry to an extent -- but on Cisco’s side things are complicated there. 

Harry watches the turmoil flickering behind Cisco’s eyes with great concern. He doesn’t know what he’s doing. He has his own issues he hasn’t worked out. Communicating with people, dealing with his mistakes and failings. On impulse, he grabs a wrench and bangs it repeatedly on the table. Cisco doesn’t even twitch. A small smile pulls at his lips.

“You too huh?”

“One of those days. Fuck that - The whole week has been shit.”

Cisco bites down on his index finger. “I take it the uh visit to your Earth didn’t go so well?”

“I mostly took care of STAR business. I saw Jesse all of three times, the first she didn’t even talk to me. Else, we just rehashed our arguments.”

“I find it hard to believe she really kicked you out -”

“I mean, she made it clear she was sick of my brand of training,” Harry says. “I feel wanted here. Even if I. I suck.”

“Harry!” Cisco chuckles a little and shakes his head. “You don’t.... suck.”

Cisco’s eyes linger on those nice, pink lips for too long. He gulps when he meets Harry’s gaze. Harry notices his direction, but he refrains from commenting. It doesn’t seem like a good time to open that particular door.

“OK, let’s both agree we’re awesome, and anyone who says otherwise can shove it where the sun don’t shine.”

“Without any lube,” Harry remarks.

“Yeah, no, ouch. I’m not that mad.”

They both collapse into giggles. Cisco braces himself on Harry’s shoulder. He quickly pulls his hand away with a small apology. Harry reassures him he doesn’t mind. He near lives for the contact. He spent years avoiding it. Cisco seems instinctive on his boundaries, never coming in close when he’s especially prickly, and offering just the right amount of silent comfort when he’s seething.

He seems to do the same for Cisco, if he’s any judge. He studies the pinched muscles in Cisco’s face, the tightness of his jaw. The headache must still persist. Harry doesn’t know if he’s even stopped to take medicine.

“Why are you pushing yourself so hard?” Harry asks. Cisco sighs and leans on his elbow on the table.

“It’s Barry - I have to - he -”

“You don’t have to do anything. Take a break.”

“But I have to -- DeVoe.”

“Nope, rest. Doctor’s orders.”

Cisco grins. “You’re not that kind of Doctor.”

“And you’re not a bodyguard or a personal assistant, but here we are.”

“I know what I’ll say next time,” Cisco says. 

“What?”

“Dammit, Barry. I’m an engineer not a watchdog.”

He must need more sleep. Harry laughs so hard he ends up having to clutch his stomach. Cisco blows air through his lips, and he tries to stifle his laughter. Harry barely stops himself from asking if he can kiss him. 

Cisco stops abruptly and squeezes his eyes shut. Harry enters panic mode, but he keeps his external reactions under control.

“What’s wrong? Was it a vibe?”

“No. I’m just. Hungover from DeVoe throwing me out.”

Harry is cautious. He brings Cisco’s head close and applies his lips to his forehead. Nothing untoward, just checking his temperature. Cisco goes rigid. Then he relaxes. Harry decides to seize his moment.

He kisses Cisco’s nose. His face scrunches up adorably. Harry tilts his head and kisses his temple. Harry can’t resist the temptation, and he kisses the softness of his curls. He loops a few strands around his fingers, carefully watching Cisco’s expression. He’s not as tense as he was before, which Harry takes as a good sign.

Cisco’s eyes flutter open. “Thank you.”

Harry whispers, “Anytime.”

They tackle the project together. He can work on his own later. He scrawls some formulas on the board anyway. He’ll get antsy if he doesn’t release some of it from his mind. Cisco raises an eyebrow but doesn’t comment. Harry doesn’t give it a prior thought when he passes Cisco a kiss on the cheek. 

In return, Cisco fists his sweater and kisses him on the ear. It’s a weird sensation. He whines through his nose and jerks his head. He never realized he was ticklish there. Cisco is amused by his reaction. The hours pass. He casually wraps his arm around Cisco, and they continue like that, letting it just be. At some point, Cisco leaves and returns with Big Belly. Harry’s eyes are drooping before he knows it.

Harry jerks awake. His heart is pounding. His body is ready for action toward some unseen threat. For a brief moment, he’s back on that battlefield, guns blazing, soldiers shouting. His hands are coated in slick blood. His eyes snap shut and he goes through his breathing exercise. When he allows the world to flood in, the sight makes him stop short.

Cisco’s face is close. Too close. He doesn’t move. Frost might as well have froze him on the spot. His lips look even more enticing and fuller due to the lack of distance. Harry can see clearly his most prominent freckles. He follows them from the middle of his forehead, to his cheek just below his eye, on his left dimple, and finally his neck. A few strands of hair had fallen across his eye and nose. Harry gently brushes them away. He’s so soft and beautiful. 

His stomach flips to see him so vulnerably in sleep. He’s only seen it twice before, and at a greater distance. He suddenly smiles in his sleep, highlighting his dimple and freckle. Harry wishes he could kiss him and kiss him forever. Nothing else mattering.

It’s because of Cisco’s gorgeous visage that he initially didn’t realize they are practically holding hands. He sits up and stares dumbly. Cisco’s hand is over his. They’re not holding exactly, but Cisco has his hand cupped just enough to count. It feels like an electric current travels up his arm. Harry inhales noisily, with a slight groan, like he’s been punched in the stomach.

Cisco wakes up. He peers up at Harry through confused, narrow eyes. His pulse jumps like an excited rabbit. He can’t will it to stop, so he basks in Cisco’s rough sleepy haze. One day, he might figure out what he did to deserve to know someone like Cisco.

“Wh - where am I? What Earth... What time...”

He blinks rapidly. He rises from his slumped position. He looks around, then examines Harry closely. He seems to unconsciously squeeze Harry’s hand.

“Earth one. I’m Harry.”

“Yeah. Yeah I know. Sometimes I just... in my dreams... vibing different realities at once --”

“You’ve never mentioned -- that sounds like something we should work on correcting,” Harry breathes. He doesn’t want to raise his voice. Cisco seems on the verge of falling apart.

If he does, Harry will hold him until he puts himself together again. He reaches out hesitantly. Cisco tugs his wrist, and Harry starts to rub his back. Cisco doesn’t let go of his hand. It’s dizzily pleasant. He licks at his dry lips, throat beginning to match. 

“How long were we out?” Cisco asks the air. He presses a key on the keyboard and examines the time. “Two hours. Feels like five.”

“My brain isn’t completely online,” Harry supplies. The rest is beneficial, however short-lived. Cisco’s eyes go wide. 

He pulls away and types rapidly. “Shit. Shit. Barry needs me to --”

Harry slips his hand up to the back of Cisco’s neck. 

“Easy. Calm down.” Harry tilts his head back and hurriedly gives him a chaste kiss. “The world isn’t going to end because you haven’t finished.”

His lips have a direct line to Cisco’s heartstrings. They promptly tie themselves in knots. He gapes helplessly. 

Harry’s spine straightens when he recognizes what he’s just done. Cisco just hums. He leans forward, hugs Harry around the middle. His cheek lays against his stomach. Harry’s hand returns to his back. And he would be happy if they could stay like this, in their own secret realm. 

Cisco pushes his shirt up, applying kisses to his belly, navel, kissing upward across his abs. His stomach quivers in response. Cisco notices, he drags his fingertips along the same path. Harry growls and tickles Cisco’s sides, his armpits. Cisco squirms and pushes him away.

“That was fine- but please, stop.” Cisco adopts a serious tone, “My brother used to wake me up that way and I -”

“No problem. I’m sorry.”

Cisco smiles and pats him. He looks at his hand. “Damn you are rock solid. When do you even work out?”

“Trade secret.”

Cisco gives him a lop-sided grin. Harry runs his fingers through Cisco’s hair, earning a low noise from his throat. He kisses the freckle on his forehead, and his cheek again, sloppily at each of his dimples. He can’t believe this is real. That this is happening. He must still be asleep. He pinches himself.

“Did you just -”

“Shut up.”

Cisco cups his cheeks and kisses him right on the lips. He drinks in the sensation, Cisco drizzling his kisses on him like syrup. 

Falling is dangerous, Cisco thinks as he does this. It feels good, and he wouldn’t have expected Harry’s interests to run alongside his. He thought the best would be Harry seeing him as a true friend. The unseen consequences are worth every moment he can absorb. He’ll store these moments, these talks with Harry, wrap them around him like a blanket when he needs comfort. Unless Harry himself is available. 

Harry glides his nose along Cisco’s cheek, tongue flicking out to catch his earlobe. If he’s falling, Harry is right there with him. Neither of them are alone, each other’s parachutes in the vast sky. 

[chroniclesofawkwardness]

Fear the Bear

I’ve always been a bit confused, if not agitated, by words that look like they should rhyme but don’t. It’s not their fault that they don’t fit perfectly together, but I still consider a linguistic mismatch to be strike one against pairs of words like foot and boot, or fear and bear.

October 11th is National Take Your Teddy Bear to Work Day. I know because I almost called in sick three years in a row. For as long as I can remember, I’ve had a distrust, if not a dislike, of teddy bears. This could be traced back to when I was four. Reagan was in the White House. Teddy Ruxpin was on the shelves. Like most kids who spent far too much time in front of a television of that era instead of developing social skills, I had to have a Teddy Ruxpin. At least that’s what the commercials between segments of Cartoon Express on USA Network and Nickelodeon wanted me to think.

I didn’t get a Teddy Ruxpin for Christmas or my birthday in 1985, or any year after. I was disappointed and upset. Maybe this was another of my parents’ ways of teaching me that you can’t always get what you want, a traumatic yet valuable lesson for a young boy. My nephew is four now, and I wish I could teach him the same lesson I learned from Mr. Ruxpin. Sadly, he’s too busy playing with his dinosaurs or freaking out when his sister shoots him with her Nerf gun. I guess some lessons, especially those involving bears, are best left to life experience. I can’t point to the exact moment when my disappointment over not seeing Teddy Ruxpin under the Christmas tree, or not ripping one open on the anniversary of my birth turned into disdain for inanimate bear kind. But I can say that over time, I became more aware of inanimate bears like Winnie the Pooh, Paddington, the Berenst(E)ain Bears, Smokey, and Snuggle Bear, the mascot for a popular brand of fabric softener to name just a few. 

It was difficult for me to understand why Winnie the Pooh couldn’t just lay off the honey, or why Paddington couldn’t keep his hand out of the damn marmalade jar. Shouldn’t social graces apply to bears too? There’s a reason gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins. How hard is it to follow the rules?

The Berenst(E)ain Bears were my first encounter with the Mandela effect. I remember their surname being Berenstein, but not everyone does. I’ve done a bit of research, and found several examples, e.g. green pepper vs. mango, Oscar Meyer vs. Oscar (Your Body is a Wonderland) Mayer, Sex in the City vs. Sex and the City, etc… The effect takes its name from memories some people have of former South African president Nelson Mandela dying in prison, which didn’t happen. There’s no consensus on whether or not the effect exemplifies a collective memory failure or alternate realities. For my purposes, it’s just another example of bears fucking with me.

Smokey was useless. All he ever did was remind people that only they could prevent forest fires. He lived in a forest that was destroyed by in a fire and resolved never to let it happen again. I’m sure Smokey had the knowledge, resources, contacts to get off his ass and do something about forest fires, but he was content to remind everyone else that they alone had the capacity to do it. He did try to reach younger audiences by rapping in a 1993 Public Service Announcement, but he cut it short after admitting to the crew that his heart just wasn’t in it. I guess he was happy being barrel-chested and stoic. I’ve never seen Smokey with a shirt on, so he’s always been comfortable sharing himself with the world, but I’ve also never seen him don a mask and oxygen tank in an effort to save his fellow woodland creatures when the shit hit the forest fan. 

The whole thing reminds of Sam Kinison’s joke about Feed the Children. He rips into the host and crew of their infomercials for not offering food to the children themselves. The host would look straight into the camera and say something like, “Won’t you please help?” In reply, Sam screamed something along the lines of, “Why don’t you just give them some of the sandwiches you packed for the day? Huh? AAAAAHHHHHHH!”

Snuggle Bear used to make me so angry. For years, I outright refused to buy his fabric softener sheets because I couldn’t accept that he was always so damn happy. He seemed inauthentic. All you’d ever see on camera was Snuggle jumping out of a pile of freshly laundered towels. He’d then practically bring himself to orgasm by rubbing them against his skin while ecstatically proclaiming how snuggly soft they were. Since the camera never zoomed in for one of those classic porno shots that leaves nothing to the imagination, we were left to wonder exactly what was going on under the pile. 

We also never heard anything about Snuggle’s backstory, in contrast to a well-known duck who quacks poetic about the benefits of supplemental insurance. Through the years, we’ve seen the duck in the gym working his way back from injury, risking vertigo by riding a roller coaster and break dancing among the people. All the while, Snuggle just keeps jumping out of towels to greet us with his smiling face. We don’t know what adversity if any, he’s ever confronted. Did Snuggle once live in Smokey’s forest before it burned? Did he have to fight his way through the mean trees of Sherwood because some guy kept stealing his possessions and giving them to the poor? Was he ever addicted on screen and in real life, like Robert Downey Jr. in Less Than Zero? Has he ever had to deal with a devastating high ankle sprain caused by a mistimed jump out of the towel pile? We’ll never know. Without knowing, why would anyone emotionally invest in Snuggle Bear as opposed to the insurance duck?

The pillow was the worst of all. It was covered with teddy bears in pajamas. She held it close every night, more often than she did me, especially near the end. We’d lie on the pullout bed, Zs. on one side of the crevice, me on the other. Physically, she was only inches away, but those inches might as well have been thousands of emotional miles. This is not to suggest that I sought the validation of having her embrace me as lovingly as her pillow. Rather, that feeling nothing and having nothing shown to you in return is not a desirable state to be in. I am not blameless for not minding the emotional gap that grew wider and wider between us over time. The only blameless parties are the bears on her pillow, the bears I associate with her through no fault of her own. 

I got a second chance at life by coming home in June of 2011, but by that time I’d lost track of my life’s purpose. Maybe that’s why I hated the bears so much. They truly didn’t give a fuck. They were going to do what they were going to do regardless of what I thought. Teddy Ruxpin would keep reading his stories until his batteries died. No matter how bad his lip-synch job was, or who was listening. Pooh and Paddington would stay after the honey and marmalade. Boo-Boo would always stick his hand in that picnic basket. The Berenst(E)ain Bears would teach generations of children the value of kindness, no matter how they would later remember the spelling of their name. Smokey would remind people to think before doing something stupid that could start a fire. Snuggle would keep on jumping out of piles of fresh towels, reminding us that laundry straight out of the dryer doesn’t have to smell like shit. Even the bears on the pillow would offer support during all-important times of sleep. 

Legends of the Fall is one of my favorite movies (which also happens to be bookended by confrontations with bears). It illustrates how different the paths of men’s lives can be. Alfred (Aidan Quinn) lives a more traditional life than his brother Tristian (Brad Pitt) who is a free spirit. Tristian does what he wants, and lives free from the expectations of others. Alfred does everything by the book. While reflecting on their lives toward the end of the movie, Alfred tells Tristian something that could easily sum up my feelings toward these bears if I were Alfred, and the bears were Tristian.

I followed all of the rules, man’s and God’s. And you, you followed none of them. And they all loved you more. Samuel, Father, and my… even my own wife.

The bears were living their (sometimes cartoonish) purpose. They didn’t ask for permission; they just did. They knew in their hearts that whatever they were doing was what they wanted to do. I followed most of the rules, and what did it get me? I have a great life, but one that would be better if I awakened the bear inside me, the bear that dwells within every man. I shouldn’t have felt compelled to turn a teddy bear around when no one was watching so it couldn’t look at me (though I once did). I shouldn’t fear finding a giant teddy in my chair at work this coming October 11th. All I have to fear is the bear inside me staying dormant if I make choices that compromise my power as a man. Maybe Smokey was right. Only I can prevent forest fires. 

May I cease to fiddle while my forest burns.