#vox wagon

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Andrew Prokop at Vox:

Former President Donald Trump has lately been trying to distance himself from Project 2025, claiming it was cooked up by the “severe right” and that he doesn’t know anything about it. But it turns out the severe right is coming from inside the house. Kevin Roberts, the self-proclaimed “head” of Project 2025, has a book coming out in September — and the book’s foreword is written by Trump’s vice presidential candidate, J.D. Vance, who lavishly praises its ideas. “Never before has a figure with Roberts’s depth and stature within the American Right tried to articulate a genuinely new future for conservatism,” Vance writes, according to the book’s Amazon page. “We are now all realizing that it’s time to circle the wagons and load the muskets. In the fights that lay ahead, these ideas are an essential weapon.”

What ideas? Like Vance, Roberts is obsessed with the idea that the left controls major American institutions — he lists Ivy League colleges, the FBI, the New York Times, the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, the Department of Education and even the Boy Scouts of America. The book argues that “conservatives need to burn down” these institutions if “we’re to preserve the American way of life.” (Vox has requested a copy of the book, but has not yet received one at the time of this writing.) Obviously, this poses a problem for Trump’s attempts to distance himself from the virally unpopular Project 2025 and its lengthy agenda for what he should do if he wins, which includes proposals to restrict abortion access and centralize executive power in the presidency.

And it’s one more indication that Trump’s pick of Vance might be politically problematic for him. Vance has a fascination with provocative and extreme far-right thinkers, and a history of praising their ideas. He is not a running mate tailored to win over swing voters who are concerned Trump might be too extreme — quite the opposite. The book was written and announced before Vance was chosen as Trump’s running mate. But there’s some indication that people involved had some late second thoughts about it. It was originally announced as “Dawn’s Early Light: Burning Down Washington to Save America,” with a cover image showing a match over the word “Washington.”

More recently, though, the subtitle has been changed to “Taking Back Washington to Save America,” and the match has vanished from the cover.

[...]

Vance agrees quite a bit with Project 2025’s most extreme ideas

Project 2025 contains a multitude of proposals in its 922-page plan, not all of which J.D. Vance necessarily supports. But he’s on record backing ideas similar to those put forth in two of Project 2025’s most controversial issue areas. The first is abortion. Project 2025 lays out a sweeping agenda by which the next president could use federal power to prevent abortions, including using an old law called the Comstock Act to prosecute people who mail abortion pills, and working to prevent women from abortion-banning states from traveling out of state to get abortions.

Vance is on record supporting these ideas. Last year, he signed a letter demanding that the Justice Department prosecute physicians and pharmacists “who break the Federal mail-order abortion laws.” In 2022, he said he was “sympathetic” to the idea that the federal government should stop efforts to help women traveling out of their states to get abortions. That year, he also said: “I certainly would like abortion to be illegal nationally.” At other points, Vance has struck a different tone. ““We have to accept that people do not want blanket abortion bans,” he said last December. And this month he said he supported a Supreme Court decision that allowed the abortion bill mifepristone to remain available. Here, Vance is trying to align with Trump, who — fearing political blowback — argues he merely wants abortion to be a state issue, despite his long alliance with the religious right. But Vance’s record implies his true agenda might be otherwise.

The second controversial area where Vance is sympatico with Project 2025 is centralizing presidential power over the executive branch. The project lays out various proposals to rein in what conservatives view as an out-of-control “deep state” bureaucracy — mainly, by firing far more career civil servants and installing far more political appointees throughout the government. Vance, as I wrote last week, has backed a maximalist version of this agenda. In 2021, Vance said that in Trump’s second term, Trump should “fire every single midlevel bureaucrat, every civil servant in the administrative state, replace them with our people.” The courts would try to stop this, Vance continued, and Trump should then “stand before the country like Andrew Jackson did, and say, ‘The chief justice has made his ruling. Now let him enforce it.’”

While Donald Trump is doing his darndest to supposedly run away from the highly unpopular Project 2025, his ticketmate J.D. Vance is making that proposition difficult to impossible.

See Also:

HuffPost: There’s Another Link Between Trump’s Campaign And Project 2025

[waltwhitmansbeard]

ugh now i can't stop thinking about it so

what cars would the mighty nein drive?

jester: she's just what a 60s vw bug would be like as a person. bubble gum pink with giant yellow flowers. an antenna topper of a cupcake and a "the traveler is my co-pilot" bumper sticker in the font from the beginning of legally blonde.

fjord: a wood-paneled station wagon. just an absolute boat of a vehicle that all of the kids (re: the rest of the nein) can pile into. insists you can't have the aux but everyone routinely ignore him. no seatbelts, we die like mollymauk.

caleb: you know those tiny german cars that seem like they were built for children to drive? one of those, maroon but you can't tell if that's the paint or the rust, at least one missing rim, can't sit in the back seat bc it is piled all the way up to the ceiling with books and papers caleb swears he's going to read someday. the glove compartment is a hazardous zone. floor littered with coffee cups.

beau: no car, this lesbian daddy drives a crotch-rocket, bright red and obnoxiously loud. she parks it wherever she wants and throws the tickets away. no helmet, no speed limit, we die like mollymauk.

yasha: no car, prefers to walk everywhere she can. if she has to go somewhere long distance, she'll crunch herself into a cab or cling onto beau for dear life. she'd prefer to get a ride from fjord, tho.

caduceus: there is one (1) car for the entire clay family, a secondhand sedan they traded for on craigslist, but it's too small to actually fit everyone in it, and there's always arguments about who needs it most, so mostly cad bikes everywhere (also a craiglist find, the chain is rusted but it works well enough)

veth: soccer mom van. she pretends to hate it, insists she "cooler" than the vehicle suggests, but actually she finds it incredibly handy. everyone hates sliding around in fjord's station wagon so when she's on the group trip, everyone fights to get in her car. also her stereo is better. the back is littered with bumper stickers that veth just finds. none of them pertain to her particularly. if she comes across a bumper sticker, it goes on the car.

kingsley: also a motorcycle, but somehow louder and gayer than beau's.

essek: absolutely REFUSES to get in caleb's car, says "that's not how i'm going to die," this is a miata twink for sure, sleek black and fast as hell. hates bumper stickers but jester snuck on one that says "my child is an honor roll student at the solstryce academy" but "honor roll student" is crossed out with "professor" written over it and "child" was replaced with "boytoy"

(vox machina version here)

[messy-buns-and-paint-splatters]

Granite - Percy De Rolo

Granite - Sleep Token - Percy De Rolo

Pairing: Percy De Rolo x (Fem)Reader

Tags: ANGST

CW: None

A/N: I do not own any of the characters, images, script, or any other content associated with or a part of The Legend of Vox Machina or Critical Role. I do not  own any of the rights to the song or lyrics of “Granite” by Sleep Token.

Word Count: 1785

Masterlist

Granite

She was sprinting with everything she had, but she knew there was no way she could out run the mercenaries that were on her tail. Where the HELL is Percy?! She internally screamed as she stumbled over a body and fell. She looked in horror at what must have been one of the villagers of this town before the carnage. Movement caught her eye and she quickly scrambled up, seeing multiple bows being drawn, arrows pointing at her. Suddenly a burning crate smashed down right in front of her, being thrown from somewhere. Fear shot through her as she realized she had no escape. She heard the snap of the arrows being released and she squeezed her eyes shut, waiting for them to pierce her skin.

But she was swept up by someone and tossed into a door that was obscured in the shadows. She opened her eyes to see that Percy had wrapped her up in his arms, his body shielding hers, and used the momentum to throw them through the door. She looked up to his eyes and her breath stalled, he had saved her. He stared back, an intense look in his green eyes that she couldn’t identify. They stayed like that for a moment, staring at each other with an intensity she had never experienced. 

“We have to go, the wagon is just over here” he said, breaking whatever spell was over them. She tried to stop her racing heart as she followed him to the waiting supplies they had been after. She couldn’t tell if her heart was so erratic because of the near death experience, or if her feelings for Percy had overwhelmed her at the worst time possible. She shook her head, trying to clear it. He had already turned her down once, months ago after she confessed that she was in fact falling in love with him. Ever the gentleman, he tried to let her down softly but firmly. Saving her a moment ago was just  a routine ‘saving a teammate’. Nothing more.

She climbed up into the wagon and had barely sat down when Percy snapped the reins and the horses took off. Neither said a word as they sped away from the wreckage of the village. 

-

“The horses are tired Percy, we need to let them rest. We already know we’re not going to make the rendezvous time” She chided, feeling bad for pushing the poor animals. Percy just frowned further. He had been on edge ever since they started back with the supplies they were able to scavenge. So on edge she swore she could see the tiniest sliver of black smoke leaking out from his mouth. 

Sulfur on your breath, she thought, Granite in my chest, as she focused on this heavy sinking feeling that had been present ever since she tried to shake off their early intense moment. 

“Percy, I know that we weren’t as successful as we had hoped, but we got something…” She tried to reason. 

“Oh yes. We took what meager supplies were left from a town that the Briarwoods ravaged for entertainment. Great Success.” He bit out, his voice hard. She pressed her lips together in a line, irritated at his attitude, but trying to be understanding for all he had been through. 

“I’m sorry, I know that was probably difficult for you to see that. Once we get home You won't ever have to talk about it” 

They sat in uneasy silence for a moment before he bit out,  “I’ll never want to talk about it” She bit her tongue, trying really hard to clamp down on the anger rising in her. 

“Your Fury is too damn late, Percy. What happened, happened. And I’m sorry it happened, but you have to move forward or else what is the point? We all care about you Percy, we don’t want to see this eat you alive. I know with anger that Reason dislocates, but Percy…” she trailed off seeing the hard look on his face, the anger bubbling just below the surface. She looked at him for a moment, really studying the anger in the creases between his eyes and the clenching of his jaw. 

“Thank you…for earlier” She said in a soft voice, trying to change the subject.

“We won't ever have to talk about it” He bit back at her, while still focusing on the road and the reins in his hands. She sat back in the seat of the wagon, staring forward and sighed to herself. You'll never want to talk about it, she said to herself internally.

They continued on through the night, exhaustion getting the best of both of them, and wearing their patience thin. The only sound for a few hours had been the creaking of the wagon and the clip clop of the horses hooves. She tried a few more times to engage in some kind of conversation, being wary of his anger. He continually brushed her off with short replies or sometimes just a grunt. Her irritation kept building until she finally snapped at him. 

“You can speak to me, you know. We have a long night ahead of us, I was more than just a body in your passenger seat.”

“What do you want Y/N.” He deadpanned. 

“What is up with you, why are you refusing to speak with me?” She demanded, “We were successful. We got supplies for the Whitestone refugees. We got out in one piece. We did everything we could. So what is your problem?”

“You may not be concerned with your own well being, But I am” He spat back, glaring at her before realization dawned in his eyes and he snapped his head back to the road. 

She sat there stunned for a moment, before a powerful emotion rose in her that she couldn’t quite put a name to. 

“So you’re now concerned. Now. After…” She began but he abruptly cut her off. 

“I’ve always been concerned. I just couldn’t…You pulled away, you put distance here.” Percy’s voice cracked for a moment, but he refused to look at her.

“After you told me no! I was respecting your wishes!” She all but shouted. 

“You emotionally left! You were here but you weren’t Y/N. You’ve been just a shell, and constantly putting yourself in danger!” Percy’s voice was raised and he was breathing hard. Now only half paying attention to driving the horses and wagon. 

“Between the second-hand smoke and the glass on the street in Whitestone, You gave me nothing whatsoever but a reason to leave” She said with an edge, incredulous that he was trying to put this on her. “You can be so selfish sometimes, Percival”. He glared at that. 

“You say you want mе, but you know I'm not what you need” He said in a firm voice, turning his attention back to the road. 

They sat in charged silence for a moment until she softly replied, “You may not be sure of what I need, But I am”. Percy’s nostrils flared as he almost dropped the reins turning to face her.

“When you sit there acting likе you know me, you think you have everything worked out. You think you have feelings for me, but this is a schoolgirl crush, this is a physical attraction, Acting like you only brought me in to get below me. I’m constantly fighting to avenge my family who were murdered by a goddamn necromancer and vampire, Never mind the death threats that occur to everyone who is ever around me. The kindest thing I can do for you is parting at the doorway! But you're acting like you would Rather be six feet under than be lonely.” He was breathing hard again, face flushed, and once again not paying attention to the road. He sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than he was trying to convince Y/N.

“So what do you do after that, hmm? When you’ve exacted your revenge? This is consuming you Percy! And if you had a problem with my confession a few months ago, then you should have told me, 'Fore you started getting all aggressive and controlling. You think you know what’s best for everyone, but do you ever stop to think about what everyone wants? Not what you think we need, but what we want?. You can be such a self righteous bastard, You only drink the water when you think it's holy.” She was breathing just as hard, ready to stare him down as long as she needed to until she realized the horses were pulling them off the road and towards the grass. 

“So keep an eye on the road or we will both be here forever” She clipped out, jerking her chin towards the road, crossing her arms, then leaning back in the seat. A silent signal that for the moment she was done talking about this. Percy sucked in a breath as if to retort, but let it out and turned back to driving. 

They drove through the night, neither speaking until the first light of the sun started creeping over the horizon. 

“You were more than just somebody I was destined to meet” She softly commented, not looking directly at him. Percy didn’t respond for several minutes. 

“I see you go half-blind when you're looking at me, and that scares me. One day it’s going to get you killed. You may not be worried for your safety, But I am.” He confessed in a similar soft tone. 

“You know I'm not what you need” He asserted once more, watching the sky fade from dark to light pink. “I’m not willing to give up avenging my family, but I’m also not willing to risk you in the process. I can’t give you what you want. You can’t wait for me.” Percy sighed. He wasn’t going to deny his feelings for her anymore, but he was going to be realistic.

“Someone has to keep an eye on you Percy. You criticize me for ‘being reckless’ with my life, but you are doing the same thing with your quest for revenge. I’m in love with you, even if you can be a selfish bastard. And you may not want to accept that, but it’s true. So I’m not giving up on you.” She reached over to pull on the reins to stop the horses. Percy frowned at her, but didn’t stop her. She looked into his eyes, and they shared that intense look again, but this time they both understood what the other was not saying. 

“Percy, you may not be concerned for your life, for your soul, But I am”.

[zhongster]

Hi guys I wrote this little drabble to test my emetophobia boundaries :)

emeto tw: nobody actually throws up just discussion of it and a character feeling nauseous

THIS IS KINK CONTENT, DNI IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT

The rare occasions that Vox Machina found themselves traveling without the use of Keyleth’s tree spell were… not the party’s favorite. This meant they had to travel manually via horse and cart which, in and of itself, wasn’t a huge problem but it was certainly a lot more inconvenient. It also gave rise to other issues, one of which being motion sickness.

The particular mountain road that they found themselves on at the moment was one of the windiest and bumpiest they’d seen in quite some time. Pike had taken up the valiant task of driving the wagon, Scanlan on her right keeping her company. That left the rest of the party to ride in the back of the cart with the cargo. Percy, in particular, sat in a miserable little ball in the back corner looking positively green.

The wheels rolled over a groove in the road making the entire thing jolt. Percy thought he heard Pike call out an apology but he was too busy trying to keep his stomach contents from spilling out all over the inside of the cart. He raised his hand up to cover his mouth and swallowed heavily, giving a slight groan. This apparently got the attention of one Vax’ildan, as he glanced over his shoulder to find the source of the noise. “You alright over there Freddie?” He asked.

“Apologies Vax, I believe I find myself feeling a bit ill” Percy admitted, swallowing again.

Vax raised his eyebrow, “you think you’re gonna puke?”

This got Vex’s attention as she turned to look back at Percy as well. Percy only responded with an unsure whine. “Alright come up here De Rolo, don’t wanna have you spewing in the cart.” Vax sighed.

Percy slid up to the front opening where the twins sat. They maneuvered themselves to sit on either side of him and began helping him lean out of the cart’s opening. Vax hooked his arm around Percy’s chest and Vex his waist to keep him from falling out but enough so he could lean forward and not actually puke in the cart. At some point during the shift Keyleth had also slid up to the opening and placed herself behind Percy, gently rubbing her hand up and down his back in a silent gesture of comfort. Percy was absolutely miserable but he felt a warmth in his chest at the care his friends were taking with him.

They sat like this for a good while with Percy occasionally spitting excess saliva into the dirt below but beyond that, nothing substantial had happened. That is until Percy’s stomach gave a startling lurch and he was pitching forward to lean out of the cart once more. This was it, it was really happening. Something of substance was forcing its way up Percy’s throat. He squeezed his eyes shut and opened his mouth while the twins gripped him tighter in preparation for what was to come.

What actually came out, however, was not the meager dinner Percy had had the night before but was instead an absolutely massive belch, one to rival even Grog. It roared out of him for at least ten seconds and when it finally ended Percy was left gasping for breath. He removed the hand that was poised over Vax’s shoulders to place it in front of his mouth as he blinked in surprise at what had just come out of him.

Everyone in the back of the cart seemed to be in utter shock. Most of them had never heard Percy burp at all, let alone THAT loud. The silence was broken when Pike called out “Eww Grog! At least say ‘excuse me’ ” from her seat behind the horse.

That seemed to snap everyone out of their shock as they all (sans Percy) burst into raucous laughter. Pike looked back at the group in confusion as Scanlan next to her tearfully explained what had happened. “That wasn’t Grog,” he wheezed “that was PERCY.”

Pike’s jaw dropped as she too joined in on the laughter with a “no fucking way.”

Grog roughly smacked Percy on the back with a triumphant “Way to go Percy!”

Keyleth, to her credit, was at least trying to stifle her giggles so as not to embarrass her friend further. “Do you feel better?” She asked.

Percy blinked a few times before responding. “Oddly enough, I think I do. Gods, please do excuse me, that was rather disgusting wasn’t it?”

Vex chuckled lightly before patting him sympathetically on the shoulder “trust me darling that was infinitely less disgusting than the alternative.”

“Who knew posh Lord De Rolo had THAT in him?” Vax teased, poking Percy’s shoulder.

Percy groaned in embarrassment, burying his face in his hands. Vex gently pulled him over to lean against her with a “relax darling, that really was very impressive.”

“Yeah, yeah” he sighed, allowing himself to get comfortable up against her for the duration of the ride.

[lacependragon]

Under the Cut: approximately 1,200 words of the opening to a modified version of the RWBY AU I posted about earlier this week: a fantasy (with magic) slice of life story about Ruby as an alchemist and shop owner, Yang as a ranger (protector of the city), and a several hundred years after the apocalypse and trying to rebuild world.

Or, My Time at Portia meets Management of a Novice Alchemist (w/ Vox Machina, Flying Witch, and a few others around for good measure) but make it RWBY.

Feedback welcome.

Zwei huffs a snort through his muzzle as he pulls up short on the path. Ruby looks over her horse’s long neck to peer down the path. There, past the spiralling dirt path, near the gleaming blue waters and behind the stone and wooden walls is Patch, the town that will soon be her home.

Yang sits astride her mare, Celica, on Ruby’s right. Both horses are laden down with bags and boxes and all sorts of supplies. They brought everything they could with them, leaving the rest with their parents on the wagon, a few days behind.

“What do you think?” asks Yang. “Is it everything you wanted?” She leans forward on Celica, her eyes on Ruby.

Ruby stares at the town. It’s so much smaller than Vale, the city they’ve spent most of their lives in. It seems quieter, slower, and Ruby can’t help but take a moment to revel in it. From this height, she can peer behind the walls and catch sight of the world they protect. The brightly painted houses that rise and fall with the hills. The rooftop gardens and balcony patios. Spiralling staircases of stone connect the higher and lower parts of the town.

And people, perhaps a dozen or so in sight, bustle as well. They move from one building to another, talk to each other in the streets, and a child is even dancing. Or Ruby presumes they’re a child. It’s hard to tell from this distance.

“Looks amazing,” says Ruby, honestly. “What about you? Kind of important you like it. It is your posting.”

Neither one of them expected for Yang to get a posting so soon out of Ranger training. She’d only gotten her license a week ago before she received a high priority posting, a permanent posting, in Patch, a little town to the northwest of Vale. Apparently, they were having a rough time and needed assistance.

The sort of assistance they figured they’d need forever. Must have cracked open a dungeon, or maybe a tomb. Those sorts of things could be decades long problems.

“It looks boring,” says Yang. She pulls on the reins to Celica and guides her in front of Ruby and Zwei. “Come on, let’s go see where the fun around here is.”

Ruby rolls her eyes and follows as Yang and Celica take off down the hill at a fast trot toward the city. Zwei chuffs at the idea of going faster with so many bags and bobbles attached to him. Ruby doesn’t blame him. He’s already being incredibly patient for an animal that’s supposed to be a dog and not a horse. Especially not a pack horse.

“Don’t worry, buddy, we’ll get there when we get there,” says Ruby, patting Zwei’s neck. He trots forward with his dog-like gait, bouncing Ruby a bit in her saddle. She’s glad she packed her glassware so well, or else it all would be shattered by now.

From the open gate of the town rides a person on a sleek, dappled grey horse. It’s a smaller breed than Celica, and sits a bit smaller than Zwei, too, but it looks sturdy and it eats up the space between the two groups with powerful, lengthy strides.

“Ahoy!” calls the woman astride the horse. She has dark brown skin and a mohawk dyed multiple colours, with bright eyes that gleam in the morning sun. “Name’s Harriet. What can I do for you folk?”

“I’m Yang, this is my sister Ruby. I’m here about the Ranger posting,” says Yang.

Harriet grins and gives Yang an appraising look. “You’re the new Ranger?” Yang nods. “Oh hell yes, you look way more capable than the last guy they sent.”

Yang and Ruby exchange a nervous look. Is it that dangerous out here?

“What happened to the last guy?” asks Ruby, voice wobbling slightly.

Harriet scoffs. “Nothing. Marrow’s just fucking annoying. Like the kid brother I never wanted.”

Yang gives Ruby a long, amused look. “Tell me about it.”

“Hey!” protests Ruby.

Harriet chuckles. “C’mon, I’ll show you around. Help you get settled.” She turns her horse around and throws an arm forward, toward Patch. “You’re gonna love it here. We’ve got more dungeons, tombs, and sealed up bullshit than half the fucking province put together. This place is awesome.”

That’d explain why they need so many rangers.

Yang grins. “Hell yeah!” She punches a fist into the air.

Ruby rolls her eyes. Fighting is cool, sure, but Ruby’s curious about the forage, and the local animal populations, the gardening possibilities, and, most of all, her new shop.

Town alchemist. It has a nice ring to it.

As their mounts guided them down the path, toward the town, Harriet spoke over her shoulder.

“Patch is one of the older towns in Anima, but we’ve never managed to expand all that far because we got founded on the edge of the Wilds. We’ve been pushing lately, because we need the farmland, and that’s how we cracked open the system that we called in Marrow for.” Harriet rolls her head with her eyes and grins at them. “But he’s not much of a spelunker and we need someone who doesn’t mind the caves.”

What sort of ranger didn’t like caves?

“Hope you aren’t scared of tight spaces,” says Harriet.

“No way,” scoffs Yang. “I’m fearless.”

Ruby rolls her eyes. Fearless. Sure. And she’s seven feet tall and buff. But Yang’s fears aren’t the sort you find in a cave or a dungeon.

They reach the bottom of the hill and follow the wide dirt and gravel path toward the front gate. It transitions into tightly interlocking stones that stretch beyond her eye within the town, proper. The stones look like the massive ones sprawled across the wild expanse of land that stretches between Vale and Patch. The off-white, sometimes pale grey stone gleams in the light and makes everything brighter.

“How many people live here?” asks Ruby.

“Couple hundred, or thereabouts,” says Harriet, over her shoulder. “Once you learn the place, you get to know everyone in it, too. It’s not hard to keep track.” She shrugs. “There’s more out in the farmland, especially back the way you came, but those are the ones who live in town. We wanna expand, but…” She trails off.

The dungeons. For all they’re ‘cool’, especially to people like Yang and Harriet and other rangers, they’re not exactly a perk for ordinary people. Mostly, to regular people, they’re just scary, dangerous, and a reason to stay the hell away from some place.

She’d seen the farms on the way here. Big, sweeping things maintained by worn machines and worn people. They seemed happy, at a distance, but Ruby wondered. She’d worked on farms during her time at alchemist college. Not for long, but long enough to know it was hard, long work that the whole world relied on. Work that deserved better recognition. Maybe she could help, with her shop.

More land. More safety. More people. More supplies. The constant cycle of survival and growth and expansion in this strange and ancient world.

“Your shop is gonna be off River Road,” says Harriet. She passes under the open arch of the gate and Ruby lets out a quiet gasp at how different this place is compared to Vale.

[gyubby99]

Mallory: I will find us a covered wagon and horses.

Aponi: If you two can manage to not kill each other while we're gone.

Vox: Oh, please. We're not children.

*Mallory and Aponi leaves*

Vox, casually: ...Eat shit and die.

Alastor, also casually: Yes, fuck you.

[aspiringsophrosyne]

Episode 5: Fate's Journey Pt. 1

Banter.

For my money, this is probably one of the weakest episodes of Season one, if not the weakest. This is primarily due to the pacing; episode five plays out a lot slower than it needs to. This makes for longer post this time, but I've split it into parts to hopefully make it easier to swallow. This is part one of four. I hope you enjoy.

Now let's get into it.

Vex and Percy's talk on the wagon is...imperfect. On the one hand, Laura and Taliesin are fabulously natural as usual, and I greatly appreciate the attempt at banter (more on that in another post). I also appreciate that Vex and Percy get a moment to themselves. But the lines themselves are wonky.

For one, you don't practice a resting bitch face. That's why it's a resting bitch face. For two, Vex's inquiring about Percy's bad mood upon returning home is.....a little strange. Vex is a savvy woman; she's got to know that the Briarwoods, known murderous sexy evil power couple, are not going to be awaiting Vox Machina's arrival with open arms and gift baskets. For the same reason, she's also got to know, even without being an expert on the subject, that heading back to the sight of his family's murder is not going to be fun for Percy.

And on top of all that, there's the fact that Vex should know something about not being happy to go home, given Syngorn. What she's saying to Percy could've made sense if they'd used this to set her up as a low-key hypocrite who's in denial about her own issues, and then have that come to fruition in The Echo Tree. But that isn't what happened.

On multiple levels this talk isn't as good as it could be.

So let's try another possible take:

Percy: Please stop that. I'm trying to concentrate.

Vex: Is that what you're doing? Or is that just your resting bitch face?

Percy: My resting bitch face?

Vex: You look terrible, Percy.

Percy: And why shouldn't I? You saw for yourself. The Briarwoods were outnumbered and still fought us to a standstill after they nearly killed your brother. They're not exactly going to be rolling out the red carpet for us....unless it's a carpet soaked with blood...if a vampire wouldn't consider that wasteful-

Vex: I know it can't be pleasant for you, after everything that's happened....but I was hoping you could take comfort in the fact that we'll be with you this time, darling.

Percy: Yes I...thank you. I'll try to remember that. And to be fair, I do have a magnificent resting bitch face.

Vex: You do.

Percy: I didn't used to. I have you all to thank for that.

Hey, Anjali Bhimani as a Cleric of the Everlight! Anjali is fantastic; she's been in Exandria Unlimited and the Ravening War, and deserves all the love.

The talk around the campfire was a lot of fun, and I liked that it gave the show a chance to squeeze in some references from the stream we're probably not going to see in the show. (I'm still wondering if Hotis is going to show up again, or not, or if we'll still get the encounter that we did with him in the stream but instigated by a different character.)

However...one exchange in particular bothers me more than a bit. It's this one, with Keyleth and Vex:

Keyleth, upon setting Vax on fire a little: Oh, my gosh. Oh, sorry! Sorry, sorry, sorry!

Vax: You're fine. You're fine. No worries.

Vex: Yeah, no worries. You'll probably get your shit together eventually.

...

Keyleth, later: Vex is right. Maybe I'll never get my shit together.

That is....pretty much the exact opposite of what Vex said, which is kind of remarkable. Let's try something else:

Keyleth: Vex is right. I don't have my shit together. I can't even get into the same time zone as any of my shit, let alone have it together. And what if she's wrong? What if I never do? What if I fail my trial and then I'll fail the Ashari and then I'll fail Vox Machina and then I'll-

Vax: Whoa! Calm down. It's alright. Don't listen to my sister.

Maybe a little heavy on the Keyleth freak out here, but I think you get the idea. Also, structured this way, we can set up a parallel between the couples' talks. That's always fun.

I wouldn't see much need to point this kind of thing out if it weren't for the fact that....well, as we go along, we're going to see similar clumsy and even contradictory writing show up. Repeatedly. And I think it's at the heart of one of the biggest things holding TLOVM back right now.

In the same vein, the twins' talk was a nice set up for things to come, but it gets a little clunky when Vex mentions that they got out of Syngorn because they didn't get distracted by pretty things. This isn't just weird in the moment because she's the goldbug, but it's weird now, in hindsight. Specifically because of what we've seen in S2. She was the one who pushed her brother to get that tiara for her. And she was the one who wanted to stay when Vax stormed out. Presumably for the last time.

She was the one distracted by pretty things, and it almost kept her in Syngorn.

Again, this could've been used to (compassionately) set her up as a hypocrite who's in denial, but...if that was the plan, I think the moment to put it into effect was the twins' family reunion. So the opportunity for that seems to have passed. I would be happy to be proven wrong in a future episode, though. We'll have to see.

That's it for part one. Onto part two: Travel And Chase.

[duelingdestiny]

Tag nine people you want to get to know better

Favorite color(s): Dude I seriously do not have one. I have a color I'm not super fond of which is pink but that's because it was forced on me as a child.

Favorite flavor(s): Grilled onion. I dunno if that counts, but that's what I'm saying.

Favorite genre(s): In movies? Uh I'm afraid I watch way too many superhero or post apocalyptic things. I don't hate rom-com in a there's nothing to watch kinda way.

Favorite music: I literally will listen to anything ever. But a lot of slow stuff doesn't hit. I'm more into the lyrics of slow things.

Favorite movie(s): Awww hell. Uh...Top gun, Space Camp, pretty much anything Marvel aside from Cap movies. Uh...Dead Poet's Society...

Favorite series: Supernatural, Castlevania, fucking Vox Machina, Yugioh, The Winchesters

Last song: Wagon Wheel by Jason Manna, Jensen Ackles, and Rob Benedict.

Last movie: Ant Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (SO FUCKING GOOD GUYS)

Currently watching: As in right now? Nothing, but I'm getting ready for The Winchesters tomorrow.

Currently working on: This? And some replies. We shall see.

Tagged by: @ofhardknoxxx

Tagging: Bruh I don't know. I feel like I'm late and everyone did this but uhhhh. @industrialpegasus @keithhoward @dragontamer05 @game-weaver

[grayheartart]

Democrat Supporters in Media and Law Fall Silent as Disney's Lawsuits Fail.

"When it came to the lawsuits, the media portrayed the moves as brilliant and mocked Gov. Ron DeSantis

NBC News chief political analyst Chuck Todd insisted that Republicans had “better be careful going after Disney.” 

MSNBC contributor Donny Deutsch agreed: DeSantis is “fighting a fight he can’t win, and this, to me, is a precursor of him on a bigger national stage. And he’s just stupid. It’s a stupid, stupid play.”

MSNBC host and former 2020 Biden campaign aide Symone Sanders-Townsend agreed and said  “Oh, my money’s on the Disney lobbyists, honey. My money is on the Disney lobbyists.”

“Disney is proving to be the foe that will not die.” Wrote Vox. Another Vox headline read “How Disney just beat Ron DeSantis.”

The problem is that Disney was never winning, [Democrats actively suppressed Disney's lossess and lied to the public]. The company was gushing money while losing in court. In the end, the Florida’s Parental Rights in Education Act continued to garner overwhelming support in the state."

Its a damning indictment of Democrat party hypocrisy how they uncritically platform "Eat the Rich" rhetoric while also circling the wagons around a international multi-billion dollar corporation.

[screamingforyears]

IN A MINUTE:

A POST_PUNK_ISH EXPRESS… “FLF” is a new standalone single from @doodseskader & it finds the Belgian duo of vocalist/bassist Tim De Gieter & vocalist/drummer Sigfried Burroughs staying true to themselves & doing their damn thing, which in this case is fully leaning into their doom_hopping ways on this latest fucked_life_freestyle. @mutoidman are here w/ “CALL OF THE VOID,” the lead single/track from their forthcoming LP titled ‘Mutants’ (7/28 @sargenthouse) & it finds the NY-based trio of scene lifers Steve Brodsky, Ben Koller & Jeff Matz bringing their mutated brand of post_metaled AltRock. @nationoflanguage are here w/ “STUMBLING STILL,” the second single from their forthcoming LP titled ‘Strange Disciple’ (9/15 @pias_america) & it finds Ian Devaney’s Brooklyn-based project bringing the stoically minimalized goods across 4 ½ mins of moody SynthWave. “MY WAGON” is the second single from @pardoner.band’s forthcoming LP titled ‘Peace Loving People’ (6/23 @barnonerecords) & it finds the SF-based quartet of Max Freeland (guitar/vox), River Van Den Berghe (drums), Trey Flanigan (guitar/vox) & Colin Burris (bass) bringing 2 ½ mins of alt_rawking JanglePop. @therupertselection are here w/ a new standalone single titled “I SAW GOD” & it finds the Boston-based trio of Reilly Somach (vocals/guitar/lyrics), Sam Bouve (bass/vox) & Peter W. Bartash (drums) bringing a big ole slice of soft_grungin & psych-tinged AlktRawk. “PARALYSED” is a new standalone single from @vincent.christ_ & it finds the increasingly prolific Londoner stepping his game up w/ each successive release & on this latest joint he’s dipped his post_punking toes in some jittery NoWave that’s chockfull of stutter-steppin & sax skronkin.

//

STREAM THESE BELOW...

////

[roshizdraw]

HOW TO DRAW A VAN IN EASY STEPS | DRAW WITH ROSHIZ

[mysticalspiders]

My favorite moments from the TLOVM watch along

The tavern scene was going to be a pit fight for a moment?

Sung Jin’s cat is the cat struck with arrows in the tavern scene (and is in other places)

There used to be more vomit??

The cube is apparently visible for one frame? And has gone through a design process

Scanlan is whistling pull on my beads of love as he goes to pee

D20’s hidden everywhere

The burp is both Laura and Marisha

Everyone tried to burp after drinking rooter and Laura and Marisha were far and away the best

The VM intro song was written at the park

The skyship was originally a wagon 

Sung Jin hates drawing horses

Fisherman is Matt and Fisherwoman is Stephanie Beatriz

“Who were the kids” “They belong to some cast members”

Maximus figured out what happened to his character when he had to do death sounds

Each person’s magic has its own sound

The dragon is CG cause it would be impossible to hand draw

Matt voiced too many characters to count even uncredited

Matt is a “body hair person” and happy for the representation from Scanlan

Its good cardio getting up to the council seats

Adria Varma recorded her lines for the first three episodes in her closet and David Bennet recorded his lines in his attic

Taint raisin was an accident. Travis misheard a writer.

Jamison painted the Kreig painting!!

The troll dick had to be centered in Japan

The gold is conductive and melts in the scene as it would in real life

The Briarwoods carriage looks like a skull with wheels

Matt’s grandparents like the show!

“Every grandparent has seen a ball”

Originally the first episode had seeing Vox Machina’s worst fears come to life beneath Emon

The keep is exactly like Matt’s original design

The Japanese actors were promoting the show saying its a little vulgar and to check it out!

“I love Vex’s giant slit …. In her dress”

The Briarwood deign IS based on Laura and Travis’s design

Lord Briarwood had sunglasses at some point

The eye patch was just from the deign team

Sam writes his songs Peter Habib, his brother in law, who he’s done music with since doing A capella in college 

Apparently the “no one kills Vax but me” line is from the campaign (although I don’t remember this and can’t find a reference in the searchable transcript so I’m curious what moment Travis is referring to)

The reload animation is SO hot

(Mica also thinks Percy kicking someone is hot)

The songs are produced to a shocking level

Episode 4 is apparently very good and the next three episodes in general (4 is Mica’s favorite)

Everyone go watch Sam sing Pull on My Beads of Love live it was amazing

Taliesan, Laura, Liam, and Sung Jin next week!

[sparring-spirals]

quick n rough liveblog for TLOVM ep 3!

- *chants* angsty backstory time! angsty backstory time! angsty backstory time!

- aw poor percy :( but also vex what are YOU doing up-

- keyleth my beloved. will i say that once per episode? maybe. even if she is a morning person.

- “emotions aren’t meant to be bottled up.” really vex? is that SO, VEX? IS THAT REALLY TRUE? VEX? VERY INTERESTING, VEX.

- vex cuddling a bear is NOT an equivalent substitute to unbottling your emotions

- sorry, im done now i promise.

- DOORS

- i have no idea if this was true in campaign as well but im laughing at percy just Eternally Suffering because of these HOOLIGANS! RUFFIANS! he HAS to spend all his time with. like sorry buddy. theyre yours. youre theirs. etc.

- you know what, this makes me feel better about how the m9 treated allura. middle of the night wakeups? yes. ball tapping right in front of her? no. win win. :)

- *holds out VM in formalwear* look they’re hot :D

-  i wanted to see pike being a menace. :) im glad im finally getting to see it now.

- oh that fishball lens zoom in shot of percy panicking was VERY anime. I feel like i saw it at least three times in soul eater alone. :D

- vox machina all immediately circling wagons around percy.... ah, my weakness. when parties just. protecc. 

- chenga

- lsdhfkajshlaj kima with stephanie beatriz’s voice being COMPLETELY unimpressed by VM... fantastic

- oh man percy :( also vm just being.. terrible dinner guests and ALSO very bad at being subtle. precious. 

- SIMON!!!!! :D SI M O N <3

- You know what, VM were not being subtle but NEITHER WERE THE BRIARWOODS SO ITS FINE I GUESS. Keyleth sitting there like: am i.. was i the only one who..... 

- i understand the aesthetics but why the hell is there just a random bird skull in your evil secret compartment. pate?? is that u?????

- maam dont hold your wine like that you madwoman

- vex what did we say about emotions, do tell me.

- yes no mercy percy, but perhaps percy deserves no mercy percy :)

- ah yes, the well known “Vax tries to threesome his way out of disaster”. you know what? understandable.

- anal beads came full circle. ..im not sure i ever wanted to say that sentence.

- *stares at sylas entrancing vax with delilah on the bed* actually im not sure vax DIDNT succeed at getting a threesome theres... a lot happening.

- vax... vax ur doing great.. well.. not great but like you’re alive, we’ll take it.

- man grog is lovely.

- PIKE! DOING GOOD! and then bad AND THEN KIKI!! COMING IN CLUTCH WITH A WALL OF VINES!!! HELL YEAH

- oh man.... percy.

overall thoughts:

- im sleepy so this might not make much sense but:

- hell yeah! wooo! its feeling much more like a standard (good!) show now, very much feels like they’re hitting their stride and telling a story, a little less self conscious, a little more natural.

- i keep forgetting that things are definitely different from the game, i.e Pike being there for all of it, probably certain combat details. I do know some of the more iconic lines, so its interesting to hear them a little differently. That said, I’m kind of enjoying that! like i know the characters, but everything else is fun and exciting and new.

- VM are really a nightmare for dinner parties huh. id love to know how much of that was canon vs not bc i feel like M9 in e97 were.... marginally more well behaved. *thinks back* actually no. nevermind. adventuring parties were not meant for fancy dinner parties okay. (fingers crossed for c3 party at a ball).

- I’m excited for the next eps! :D <3

[theyanderespecialist]

Deer Sister 1(Scenario) Human Husk X Reader

[Hello My sexy readers, here is this Request here off of wattpad with Husk X Reader scenario in which reader is alastor sister and in this one she be helping him hide bodies as she is not innocent either this was requested by AnimeGirl4life93 I hope you enjoy the first scenario. There will be more Alastor sister reader x yanderes scenarios]

(Husk) (Do You Want To Hide A Body)

(Husk's POV)

I came to Alastor house, he got me involved with him hiding bodies. I meet him and he grins at him.

"Ah Husker." He says. "I am glad you are here, though you will have help with taken care of the bodies." He says.

I looked at him. "Who the fuck did you rope into helping you? He must be a poor sap." I say heading down to the cellar.

"Oh she is more than willing to help me my dear husker." He says and I made it down into the cellar.

Wait... did he see she? I looked and see a woman back to me taking meat and organs out of the body. I walked up to her tap her shoulder and she nearly hits me with the butcher knife in her hand. Stopping right in between my eyes. A milimeter from hitting the skin.

"Oh you must be husker! Sorry about that I thought you were a cop or hunter!" She says and grins.

I did not hear what else she was saying as I stare at her. She is stunning. With her (Hair Color) hair and (Eye colored) Eyes. She was like a angel. I blush and scoff.

"Do not scoff at me Husker." She says and puts a pile of meat in my arms. "Take these bags up to the freezer and then you can help me hide the remains of the body."

I nodded and did just that. After that we went out the dead of night going to the swamp and dumping the body only to hear voices.

"Hey what are y-" Before he could even finish the sentence she rushed them and slashed the two men's throats and they drop to the ground.

Shit that was hot. A third one came out and grabbed her. He took the knife from her and began to choke her and I saw red. I pulled out my shot gun and blast his head off. He drops to the earth and she drags herself out from under him. Blood on her face. She got up and pulled me in a kiss. I kiss back and she pulled away.

"Hurry up, we have two more bodies to butcher." She tells me and gets two in the wagon and I help.

I knew two things from this night. One we had a lot more work to do. And two I was in love and she is mine.

[YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS Another chapter done, hey if you want to see more alastor's sister reader. Comment bellow who she should be with like they can be human if they are like Vox angel dust and husk also can be demon for those three or just plain demon with any hazbin hotel or helluva boss characters.

Anyways hope you all enjoyed and stay sexy!]

P.S. You can also do alastor incest with his sister not full on sex but brother sister relationship with Yandere alastor

Hopping to make this into a mini series if we get enough votes :D]

[finaledenialist]

Wow wow wow... Those Jared stans really... Wow. You said nothing wrong? Jared kinda fell off the wagon a lil in terms of his acting... Like one of my favorite performances on the show is Jared as gadreel. But... Saying Misha can't act? Um? Have you seen the man? His talent is beyond words. He's a big reason the show continued for so long. Oh my. I don't wanna beat a dead horse here but... Wow. All 3 of them are amazing actors but lately Jen and Mish have risen above and that's OK? Chill guys...

I have nothing to add. 

Question for vox populi - shoud i pulish the hateful anons or should i let them rot in my inbox? asking for a friend

[rocknrollarticles]

The Artwoods Story

The Artwoods’ 100 Oxford Street is a UK compilation album released in 1983 that features a four-page booklet (pictured above) that tells the band’s story, written by guitarist Derek Griffiths.

Since there's a limit on the number of photos that can be added to one post, I'll be reblogging this a couple times until I have all the info up. To see this post with all the info added in reblogs, click here.

Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy Derek’s words as much as I do!

Transcript under the cut (main text + Record Mirror article from page three's rightmost side)

“  It's difficult to pinpoint exactly when the Artwoods came into being because everything just seemed to evolve naturally. The one date however that does stick in my mind is the 1st October 1964 which is the date I turned professional, thus depriving the accountancy profession of a valuable addition to its ranks! But seriously, one must go back to previous events in order to trace the history of the group.

I first met Jon Lord at a party in West Hampstead when he was a drama student at The Central School of Speech & Drama. He was introduced to me by Don Wilson whose claim to fame was his membership of the famous skiffle group Dickie Bishop & His Sidekicks. They had had a hit years previously with "No Other Baby But You", and Don now ran a band on a semi-pro basis called Red Bludd's Bluesicians in which I played guitar. Well, I say we were called this, but only when we were fortunate enough to cop an R&B gig. We used to play The Flamingo Allnighter and lots of U.S. air bases. The rest of the time we played weddings and tennis club dances as The Don Wilson Quartet! Jon Lord was brought in on piano and was a very valuable addition especially as he could get his hands around a little jazz and all the old standards. Jon used to ring me at work and interrupt my vouching of sales ledger invoices in order to discuss the coming weekends gigs. We would bubble with excitement at the approach of an R&B gig as we really hated all the weddings and barmitzvahs.

Around this time Don made a very important policy decision and we suddenly became the proud owners of a Lowrey Holiday organ for Jon to play. Shortly after this Don contrived to drive the band-wagon into the back of a lorry on the North Circular, doing himself considerable mischief in the process. This brought about the unfortunate end of Don's career with us, but not before he had masterminded an important merger of two local bands.

For some time we had been aware, and not a little envious, of The Art Wood Combo led by none other than Art Wood himself. His band underwent a split at that time and Red Bludd's Bluesicians, alias The Don Wilson Quartet, were neatly grafted on. We really felt we were moving into the big league by doing this as Art not only had more work than us but, wait for it, used to sing with Alexis Korner's Blues Incorporated with Charlie Watts on drums and Cyril Davies on harmonica! The next problem was a replacement for Don, and this was solved by stealing the bass player from another local group The Roadrunners, a good looking cove who went by the name of Malcolm Pool. The offer and acceptance of the gig were transacted in a pub car park somewhere in West Drayton staring into the murky waters of the Grand Union Canal clutching pints of local bitter (Fullers?). (Authors note: drugs had not been invented at this stage, as far as most groups were concerned, apart from the odd pill to keep one awake on an all nighter!)

~

The next personnel change took place some time in 1964 and this involved the retirement of drummer Reg Dunnage, who did not want to turn pro. Auditions were held in London and lots of drummers attended. However it was more or less a foregone conclusion that Keef Hartley would get the job. You see we'd already decided that what The Artwoods needed above all else was a Liverpool drummer! Unfortunately none came to the audition, but Keef hailed from Preston which was near enough for us. Keef had previously played with Rory Storm & The Hurricanes, replacing Ringo Starr in the process (heady stuff this), and Freddy Starr & The Midnighters. Both were such influential bands of their time that these credentials combined with Keef's quasi Liverpool accent (at least to our ears) provided him with a faultless pedigree.

~

So that was it, the line-up that would take us through to 1967 when Colin Martin eventually replaced Keef Hartley on drums.

For a while we worked as The Art Wood Combo but then decided it was hipper to drop the Combo and become The Artwoods.

The period when The Artwoods were operating was one of musical change when groups went from recording and performing other writers' material to writing their own. In fact the last year of the group's existence was 1967 which heralded the arrival of "Hendrix", "Flower-Power". "Festivals" and experimental use of mind expanding drugs! 1966/67 were particularly exciting years to be based in London and every night would be spent in one of the many clubs which had recently sprung up. The Ad Lib, The Scotch of St. James, The Cromwellian, Blaises and of course The Speakeasy to mention a few. Many of these we played in and the trick was to be well known enough not to have to pay the entrance fee on nights off. Any night you could be sure to meet your mates "down The Speak" and it became the unofficial market place for rock musicians.

It was also the days before huge amounts of equipment took over. Equipment meant road-crew and trucks and in turn financial hardship. This simple equation has been the downfall of many bands over the years. We used to travel in a 15 cwt van together with all the gear-no roadies, just us. It's amusing to recall but after recording the TV show "Ready, Steady, Go" (in Kingsway in those days?) one would be besieged by autograph hunters on the way to the van with the gear. Even really 'big groups of the day like The Zombies would hump their own equipment and apologetically place an amp on the ground in order to sign an autograph! Because it was financially viable to travel to small clubs in this way, we would often average 6 or 7 nights a week, every week, on the road. A bad month would probably mean less than twenty gigs. This meant we were living, sleeping and eating in close, and I mean close, proximity. You really found out who your friends were.

The subject of equipment is an interesting one as it really distinguishes the bands then from those of today. The average pub band of today would carry more equipment than we did. As I've already mentioned we were quick to realise that we could elevate ourselves musically by investing in a proper electric organ as opposed to a Vox Continental or Farfisa that many groups used. Consequently the group purchased a Lowrey Holiday and we thought this alone would provide us with the Booker T and Jimmy Smith sound.

What we failed to realize was that we also needed a Leslie cabinet with a special built-in rotor to get that "wobbly" sound. Our friend and mentor Graham Bond, the legendary organist/saxophonist, was quick to point out the error of our ways one night when we were gigging at Klooks Kleek in West Hampstead. We groaned inwardly when we discovered the extra cost and humping involved, but it had to be bought. We were fortunate very early on to score a deal with Selmers, who provided us with free amps and P.A., but we had to make the trek to Theobalds Road once a week to get it all serviced as they were not as reliable in those days. I used a Selmer Zodiac 50 watt amp and Malcolm had Goliath bass cabinets with a stereo amp.

The P.A. comprised two 4 x 12 cabinets and a 100 watt amp! When we toured Poland we played in vast auditoria and linked our system with the Vox system being used on tour by Billy J Kramer & The Dakotas. This meant we were pumping out no more than 300 watts which is laughable by today's standards. Although it would never have compared in quality, I can remember standing at the back of extremely large halls and being able to hear clearly all the words Billy J sang. One day in 1963 Alexis Korner sent me off foraging in and around Charing Cross Road for a new guitar, with instructions to mention his name whereupon I would receive a discount of 10%. Previously I played a Burns Trisonic (collectors will appreciate this model did not have "Wild Dog" treble) but fancied owning a Gibson ES335 as favoured by many blues players. Sure enough one was hanging invitingly in the window of Lew Davis's shop.

I ended up paying £135 and still use it regularly today although its value has multiplied five fold. Malcolm came with me that day and bought an Epiphone bass, the same colour and shape as my guitar. For years we looked like matching book-ends on either end of the group! Keef started off using a Rodgers drum kit, but somewhere along the line changed to, I think, Ludwig. There was no out-front mixing as is common today, just the P.A. amp on stage with the vocalist. Primitive I know, but everything revolved around bands being able to travel economically with their gear and perform at small clubs anywhere in Britain. The college circuit was much sought after and provided the icing on the cake while package tours were not necessarily well paid. We did our first with P. J. Proby and got £25 per night (for the lot of us) and we had to pay for our own accommodation!

~

I have already mentioned "Ready, Steady, Go" a show on which we appeared on more than one occasion. The original format called for groups to mime to their records but after a time it was decided that it would become "live" and that the show would be re-titled "Ready Steady Goes Live". We were proud to be picked for the first "live" show and learnt the news via a telephone call to our agent in London from a phone box high in the Pennines. We managed a drunken war-dance of celebration round the phone box believing that this meant we'd really cracked it. As I remember the first show we did featured Tom Jones (complete with lucky rabbits foot) miming to "It's Not Unusual", The Kinks, Donovan and Adam Faith's Roulettes playing live (without Adam). We were promoting our first single "Sweet Mary" and I would put the date at around late 1964.

~

Our first recording deal was with a subsidiary of Southern Music Publishing called Iver Productions and I reckon that would have been mid 1964. Southern had a four track studio in the basement of their offices in Denmark Street ("The Street") and getting the gear downstairs, especially the organ, was "murder". Our first producer was Terry Kennedy and we recorded several tracks with him. Without going too deeply into all the details of recording techniques of the period, one tended to compensate for the lack of tracking facilities available, by attempting to duplicate the live excitement. In many ways it was a frustrating experience particularly for ambitious guitar-players. I was a Steve Cropper freak and I knew as a musician that a lot of his sound on record resulted from him working his amplifier hard in the studio— thus the speaker would emit the sound he was used to on stage. In Britain however, engineers would say "You don't need to play loud man, we can turn you up on the desk". The result was a weedy, thin guitar sound. From way back I'd been experimenting with "feed back" on stage and I really had to dig my heels in about the guitar sound in the studio. Once when I turned my amp up to give it a bit of "wellie" on a solo the engineer bounded out of the control room screaming that the level would bust his microphones!

~

Sometime during the career of The Artwoods it was decided that we should graduate to a better studio. This was arranged by Mike Vernon who also became our producer. Our records had all been released through the Decca Record Co. and Mike was a staff producer with them. Mike w also an authority on "The Blues" and the relationship led to our only single chart record "I Take What I Want" a cover of a Sam & Dave U.S. R&B hit. Mike was also producing John Mayall at the time and it seemed only natural that Mike and The Artwoods should team up. From this point on we recorded at the Decca studio in Broadhurst Gardens, West Hampstead, but I can't honestly say it did any more for us than our previous efforts in the Southern Music basement, although we could now indulge ourselves in the comparative luxury of the eight track studio. Later on, towards the end of the groups life we were signed by Jack Baverstock at Philips Records who was looking for a group to cash in on the thirties-style gangster craze which had been triggered off by the film "Bonnie & Clyde". As a result we changed our name to "St. Valentines Day Massacre" and released a single of the old Bing Crosby hit "Brother Can You Spare A Dime?" It was an ill- fated venture, which I would prefer not to dwell on, virtually signalling the end of the band apart from a few heavy-hearted gigs with a changed line-up.

~

Before that though, there were many great times to remember, and a fair number of gigs that were memorable in one way or another.

One of our favourite gigs was Eel Pie Island which we regularly played once a month; in fact we held the attendance record there for a while until the ageing blues artist Jesse Fuller took it from us. Eel Pie Island is literally an island in the middle of the River Thames at Twickenham and there's never been a gig like it since. It was an Edwardian ballroom originally I believe, that achieved notoriety in the 50's with the Trad Jazz boom. At that time, an overloaded chain ferry was used to convey the crowd across the river, but during the 60's a small bridge was in existence although it was only wide enough to take the promoter Art Chisnall's mini van. He had to make three separate trips across with the gear strapped to the roof and hanging out the back doors.

The audiences were exceptional for those times and I don't know where they all came from... very much like art students and very much more like the 70's than 60's. Long hair predominated and this was before 'hippies' had officially been invented! If you can imagine a ramshackle wooden ballroom, bursting at the seams, condensation pouring from the walls, the audience on each others shoulders leaping up and down, the sprung dance floor bending alarmingly in the middle, in the summer couples strolling outside and lounging on the river bank ... all this and not a disc jockey in sight! One other bonus was that it was a “free” house and therefore sold many different types of beer— we always favoured Newcastle Brown. Back on the 'mainland' afterwards it was always riotous packing the gear into the truck. I don't know how he managed it but one night Malcolm drove our truck over the support band's guitar which happened to be lying about, thus breaking the neck. I'll never forget the shocked look on that poor guitarist's face as Malcolm smoothly slipped the van into gear, apologised and drove off in that order!

~

No trip up north was complete without stopping at the famed Blue Boar on the M1 for a "grease-up" on the way home. I do not refer to truck lubrication but to a particular rock'n'roll delicacy known as “full-house”. This comprised double egg, sausage, chips, beans, tomatoes, fried slice, tea, and (if you were man enough) toast. It was considered a Herculean task to break successfully the 10 bob' (50p) barrier-all served on wobbly cardboard plates that doubled as items to sign autographs on for the self service waitresses.

Waitress: What band are you?

Me: You won't have heard of us.

Waitress: Oh go on, tell us.

Me: OK. The Artwoods.

Waitress: Never 'eard of you!

It was everybody’s dream to walk into the Blue Boar just as their hit of the moment was playing on the Juke Box.

~

One time we were chosen to represent the twentieth century at the centenary celebrations of the State of Monte Carlo— a most lavish affair which the aristocracy and dignatories of Europe attended. Princess Grace and Prince Ranier were the hosts and people like Gina Lollobrigida and the like were there. The ball was held in the famous Casino at Monte Carlo and we stayed in an opulent hotel called The Hermitage, I think. All I can remember is that we all had single rooms (a rare luxury) which were massive, and you could have pitched a tent under one of the bath towels, they were so big. After this we jetted off up to Paris where we played next door to the Moulin Rouge at a club called The Locomotive.

Whilst we were there we were taken out by our friend Mae Mercer, the American lady blues singer who we backed in England. She lived in Paris and took us out to Memphis Slim's club where we all set about drinking like it was going out of style. At the end there was an embarrassing scene concerning the bill with the result that Mae ended up in tears. Whilst we were bumbling about in an alcoholic stupor, an upright looking gentleman put his arm round Mae to comfort her and a wallet appeared magically from his inside pocket. Without further ado the bill was despatched and we later learned that our anonymous benefactor was none other than Peter O'Toole who was busy in the street outside filming 'Night Of The Generals' and was an old buddy of Mae's.

~

One Boxing Day we loaded up with turkey sandwiches and Xmas pudding and headed off for a gig down in Devon or Cornwall somewhere. We arrived to find the club closed and boarded up, and as usual we were broke. Naturally we were livid, checked into an hotel and located the promoter who lived with his mum. Next morning we drove round to where he lived and burst our way past his confused mum. We found him in his bedroom nervously cowering against some fruit machines which he collected. He had no money so we forced him to empty his damned machines with the result that we drove back to London with 50 quids' worth of 'tanners' (approx 22p for the younger reader!)

Whilst on the subject of disasters I suppose I am duty bound to mention Denmark. The first time we went there we caught the ferry to the continent, drove up through Germany, then caught another ferry to Denmark. There was no promoter to meet us when we arrived so all we could do was drive to Copenhagen and check in at the Grand Hotel. It cost us an arm and a leg but at least we got a good nights sleep after being awake for nearly two days travelling. The next day we made a few phone calls and finally tracked down the promoter. He said: "Didn't you get my telegram cancelling the tour?" We politely said no we hadn't and what did he intend doing with us? He checked us into another hotel (cheaper of course) and set about booking us at places that were similar to English coffee bars and youth clubs. We made enough to survive on and paved the way to more successful tours of that country. In fact by now we had Colin Martin on drums and were pursuing a much more adventurous musical policy and writing our own material. It was just right for Denmark who had taken Hendrix to their hearts to name but one, and we subsequently became quite big there in 1967.

The Artwoods achieved modest success-a minor hit single in "I Take What I Want", but we worked constantly, travelled abroad, had fantastic fun and made a living doing so. We had seven single releases, one album, and one EP, and we broadcast both on radio and TV many times. We did stage tours such as the P. J. Proby tour and covered most aspects of "show-biz" apart from actually making a movie. It was the era when bands still had to prove themselves as a live act before being offered a recording contract. now frequently happens of course that an act can become huge record sellers without so much as venturing to do a live gig.

~

So what happened to everyone? Well Art returned to his former occupation as a commercial artist and finds some time to fit in free-lance work between accompanying brother Ron Wood on raving excursions between Rolling Stones gigs. Malcolm moved into the same field as Art and they now work in the same building. Both of them gig occasionally on a semi-pro basis although Malcolm spent some time playing with Jon Hiseman's Colosseum and Don Partridge in the early 70's. Jon Lord became famous with Deep Purple and Whitesnake as did Keef Hartley with John Mayall and various bands of his own. Colin Martin is now a BBC Radio producer of repute. I played in various bands such as Lucas and The Mike Cotton Sound, Colin Blunstone's band, Dog Soldier (with Keef again), before I somehow drifted into studio and theatre work. Recently I formed an R'n'B band called the G.B. Blues Company, and it's great to be back on the road again.   ”

Derek Griffiths.

Clipping from Record Mirror on June 5, 1965, by Norman Jopling.

“We aim to excite!” … say the Art Woods

Just for the record, the Art Woods aren't a part of Epping Forest. In fact they're a group of five interesting young men, named after the group's leader Art Wood. They also happen to be one of the most realistic groups on the scene.

For a start, they are the awkward position of having a large following, a club residency but no hit record. Secondly. they don't mind pandering to commercial tastes, even though they have been hailed as one of the most authentic R & B groups in the land.

NO PULL

“But authentic R&B just isn't pulling the crowds any more,” says Art. “The audiences want to be excited, not to be lectured on what is 'good' and what is 'bad'. Although there was a time when you could spend half an hour on one number with long solos by everybody, it didn't last long. And although there are some clubs like that still, most of them want something fresh and new.

“And we try to cater for them. We like authentic R&B, but we also like playing everything and anything else. So far, our two discs haven't meant a light. Of course we'd love a hit. But we're lucky enough to make a good living without one.”

DISCS

The Art Woods latest disc is "Oh My Love" and the one before that “Sweet Mary”. Of them Little Walter has said that he couldn't believe any white group could sing and play the blues like they do.

Line-up of the group is Art Wood, leader. vocalist and harmonica. Derek Griffiths, lead guitar, Jon Lord, organ and piano. Malcolm Pool— base guitar, and Keef Hartley on drums. The boys use a specially adapted Lowrie organ, and get a sound that's really different.

But even if the boys sometimes become depressed about no hits records, they should remember groups like Cliff Bennett, the Barron-Knights, the Rockin' Berries and the Yardbirds, and how long THEY waited before they had a hit!

N.J.