#wanted to have some stuff still similar/recognisable

[ellraiser]

awake / asleep

[sometipsygnostalgic]

Adventure Time new episodes

This is for "Destiny" and "Winter King". I am not making a big analysis, honestly I have no idea where the miniseries is heading, but here are a couple of points I want to make.

So, to start us off, this is obviously Snake on a Nokia phone... the controls for this thing were absolute garbage but it did the job. Is the snake eating little bunnies????

It's interesting that designer bags are the same in both worlds, but that makes sense because this is just another future version of a world Simon lived in.

When I first saw Jay, I assumed he was Finn's baby brother from the Farmworld universe - wouldn't the baby brother be about the correct age??? - but he's actually Finn's son!

Jay and Bonnie are a reference to the episode Puhoy! Their mother was most likely Roselinen. Our Finn had specific reasons for naming them Jay (Jake) and Bonnie (PB). Farmworld Finn named them that too but unless he knew a farmworld PB it's more of a reference than anything else.

Also... against all reason, Farmworld Jake is still alive! Barely!

Finn had a LOT OF KIDS and also his wife his dead. Damn, even in this world. Most of his kids have his or Rosalinen's hair colour but the boy on the right looks a lot like Hunter from the first episode.

Take that as you will...

Like in the original S5 episodes there are farmworld versions of some characters like Choose Goose, Starchy, and Wildberry Princess. So there was probably farmworld versions of most of his friends. We already saw what happened to this version's Simon and Marcy, who both died brutally.

The crown is in the giant crater because it was evaporated by the goddamn nuke. Incredible that any part of it survived, really.

The rest of this episode speaks for itself. It was a fun look at an alternate universe where Finn lived a very different life. His personality here is nothing like our Finn who is a lot more adventurous. Farmworld has taken its toll on our boy.

Onto Winter King...

This penguin boy doesn't seem to be 100% ice. It's possible that his beak was stuck on like a snowman, but it's also possible this is a transformed version of Gunther.

This Ice King's history is very similar to our Ice King's. Most changes were 100 years ago when he transferred the twisted madness to PB.

Can someone explain to me why there is a naked chicken here???? I do not like this at all

I checked out two designs that I thought this place might be referencing. It doesn't look like either but, eh.

Below is Candy Kingdom concept art from 2008.

Below is Candy island from Flapjack!

And below, ironically the most similar looking, is Candy Island from Bob's Burgers.

Some interesting things about this alternate Simon...

This young Marceline with the axe has implications for why this Simon might've turned "evil". Marceline either ran away from him after what he did to PB, or she died at some stage. He made an "Ice Marcy" to replace her.... Young and adorable, just she was when he was Simon. This seems to be his method for dealing with any problems.

His science in this room was interesting... it reminded me of Princess Bubblegum's technology, or the stuff that Simon and Betty were able to make when combining science and magic in the land of Ooo. Honestly I don't feel that he'd have been successful in duplicating the crown, but he was immediately willing to try.

The reason Simon doesn't remember Betty as his great love is because this was an important part of his madness. When he transferred his madness to PB, he also transferred his obsession with Betty.

This is why Candy Queen is so obsessed with kidnapping Ice King and Simon, it's the exact reason why Ice King used to kidnap her!

Also, 10 out of 10 to Hynden Walch in this episode. I was convinced there was a different voice actress for Candy Queen, but upon checking the credits, it really is her. You can recognise her singing well too.

This version of PB has a lot more mastery over her candy elemental magic. It's probably a result of being possessed by the Crown's madness for so a hundred years. You see her doing all sorts of crazy stuff as Candy Queen, though in that state her abilities are a lot more like Ice King's than they are like the insane PB from the Elements miniseries.

It's really funny that PB is like "I'm trying not to dwell on it" about the hundred years thing. AT is very casual like that. Though she's gonna be very sad when she realises Fionna and Cake ripped the faces off most of her candy people. Brutal scene.

And it's funny how she kissed Fionna. She just does that with all her knights. I wonder if there is a Finn in this universe? Ice Prince seemed to expect the Ice girls to save him...

I found it sweet that Ice King really wanted to save someone else he saw as being possessed by madness. It was entirely possible that CQ was just "like that", but he was right on the money, and it shows how he contrasts to his alternate self, who is actively benefitting from this situation even if he gets regularly kidnapped. And it's not like Fionna is doing anything that Finn didn't do to Ice King!

This scene was brutal. Funnily enough I watched Infinity Train book 3 with Kim last night, this reminds me of the moment THAT Simon-- Oh my God, does this always happen to characters named Simon?

Fionna removed the magic from the crown, so Simon aged rapidly, just like in the episode "Betty". Though this time it happened instantaneously rather than across 11 minutes.

I think this is the part where Fionna realises her rampage across the multiverse is genuinely hurting people.

It was VERY CUTE watching Gary Prince (holy shit that name) show off his little Candy Kingdom. There's a lot of elements of PB there, and it parallels how ultimately the Candy Kingdom was PB's own version of the cake - she made all these characters and made little stories for them, which we know from the show was her way of dealing with the world.

What was REMARKABLY FUCKED UP was the shots to Fionna murdering possessed versions of these beloved characters. I mean... they're PROBABLY all still alive, but they are very fucked up now.

I also enjoy how the Lemoncarbs - Tree Trunks calls them that!! - are both here and alive, and superior to Gary lol. And I think Jinx Monsoon's voice acting here fits a lot better than in episode 4 where they tried to do a straight imitation of Lemongrab.

I haven't said much about these two but you can see how they contrast - Marshall just Does things, while Gary procrastinates constantly. And Marshall's behaviour can seem reckless but Gary would've never taken that big step forward without his help. It's funny how Marshall can just call his mother to summon the Lemoncarbs in the middle of the night, and sweet how he'd do that to help Gary.

Then he listens to the autistic boy gush about his characters. Awww.

This world here is obviously a joke about the elusive Adventure Time Babies show that Muto was terrified he'd be asked to make. Hell it's possible he pitched this show to CN once or twice. But Baby Looney Tunes and Tiny Titans are both famous spinoffs of this ilk, and Craig of the Creek got a spinoff about Craig's baby sister.

Simon is still determined to become Ice King again but he wants to "do it right". I still think he's HORRIBLY MISGUIDED but he is starting to realise that, maybe, he is the best version of himself. He could've been a huge ding dong like Ice Prince.

Also Chan is going to be so sad if that's the only time we see Young Finn and Jake.

[rebouks]

Previous // Next

[Brodie flicked through the mail, instantly recognising the scrawling handwriting of a certain redheaded little boy. Scaring a few birds in the process, he bellowed up the stairs: ALEEEEX!] Alex: [breathless] Is it for me?! Brodie: Nah, but I could do with some help carrying this super heavy envelope upstairs. Alex: Who do you think you are, Johnny Zest? Brodie: I’m better than that guy, c’mon…

… Hi Alex! Sorry it’s taken me so long to reply to you, I promise I didn’t forget! I guess I just didn’t really know what to say cos I’ve sorta not felt like myself recently. My mom says I disappear into my own world sometimes so I sorta did that again and found it hard to think of anything fun to say. I don’t think I’d mind if you wrote to me about the less fun parts of your life though n’ my dad says you shouldn’t really keep everything to yourself all the time cos it ends up hurting so I thought I’d write anyway n’ just force myself not to worry about being boring or whatever. Your letters and your life always sound so exciting compared to mine though so sometimes it’s hard not to!!

I got in a fight at school which sounds like it should be an exciting story, but it wasn’t really. There’s this kid called Levi in my class that always picks on me (don’t worry though, I don’t care about that) and I couldn’t be bothered listening to him anymore so I hit him a couple times, I thought he’d hit me back but he just freaked out so I sorta felt bad about it afterward. He still makes fun of me but he doesn’t get up in my face as much so that’s a plus. Who says violence doesn’t solve anything? Hahaha I’m kidding! It wasn’t nice of me but maybe he should know better than to push people around so much.

I’m looking forward to summer so I can wander off a bit more and maybe it won’t rain so much! My mom doesn’t really like it when I go too far but as long as I’m back before curfew she tries not to freak out about it which is nice of her cos she knows I like to explore n’ stuff. I shouldn’t complain about my family cos I love them n’ stuff but I like being on my own sometimes and it’d be nice to have a bit of peace now n’ then. I’ve got SUPER good hearing so it’s hard to find anywhere quiet in my house, especially cos there’s always something crazy going on. My aunt Alma is sorta similar to me so she’s been helping me block out the noise with this meditation sorta thing, I guess it’s hard to explain but it’s not as lame as it sounds, it’s kinda fun to see how long you can stay in your own brain without people interrupting you. That probably sounds really weird but maybe you sorta get what I mean?

I finally have a treehouse now too!! It reminds me of your watchtower in some ways, but I guess it’s no way cooler than that, even though I know you’re bored of it by now. I wish we could hang out in it together cos it’s super awesome! Mom n’ dad don’t really bother me when I’m up there n’ my brother n’ sisters can’t manage the ladder yet so it’s all mine! It’s right at the bottom of the garden and looks out over the whole Bay too! Mom said she might let me sleep in it once it gets a bit warmer! It’d be cool falling asleep to the sound of the waves.. I hope it doesn’t end up making me need to pee all night though haha!!

Wren’s been obsessed with watching me play on the computer recently and I keep tryna teach her how to play herself but her little fingers can’t really reach all the buttons on the keyboard too well and she gets stupid mad when she dies so she just makes me play instead. She’d kick me if I told anyone but she’s a bit scared of some of the monsters too lol!! Mom told me I shouldn’t let her watch those ones but they’re the only ones she WANTS to watch and she jumps all over me until I give in so idk what they expect me to do other than lock her in the pantry, but I got told off for that so I guess I shouldn’t do that again haha (Wren thought it was funny though so it’s all good!) It’s a shame you don’t have a computer in the tower otherwise we could play together! Jude n’ Jacob aren’t really into that sorta thing so I usually just play on my own. Do you have a computer back home??

Oh! I got another badge for my swimming lessons too! I’ve almost got em all now which is neat but I sorta wanna avoid getting the last ones cos anyone that gets them all or has good attendance n’ whatever get an award at the end of the school year. They save em all up to give out at some stupid last year disco thing they put on before summer for the last year kids n’ it’d be so cringe to get called out in front of everyone like that. Some people think it’s gonna be amazing like my friend Jude, but I’d rather not go at all. Mom n’ dad keep saying it’ll be fun n’ everyone else is excited about it too but how fun could something be if you’re technically at SCHOOL? Bleh! I know you said you hate it sometimes, but being homeschooled sounds awesome to me lol.

I keep tryna bug my parents to go camping again so we could maybe see each other but they won’t take me out of school for a holiday n’ dad’s too busy with some work project so I guess we’ll have to keep writing to each other instead! Maybe if I keep annoying them about it we can come back in the summer! I hope so anyway but I guess I don’t wanna piss em off TOO much just in case my plan backfires or something.

I still feel really bad about not writing sooner but my dad said better late than never so hopefully you’re not too upset with me! I’ll try my best to write faster next time so you don’t have to wait as long. I’m looking forward to hearing about everything you’ve been up to!! Love Robin c: ps. my dad’s friend finally helped me fix that old polaroid so I’ve sent you some random pictures I took to test it out! I’m still getting used to it but the next ones will be better, I swear!

… the treehouse! it even has cool lights on it!! the back of our house! it’s so big it’s hard to fit in a picture.. it sorta looks fancy but it’s not really n’ dad said it was cheap cos it was a shithole a rare Byrd! (grumpy too – dad tried to take his dummy off him lol) he’s not supposed to be on my bed… the Bay! Jude says I sound girly for saying it’s so pretty here but I don’t care I could take a million pictures of this place n’ never get bored (I’ll stop now though cos mom says these polaroid things aren’t cheap for this model.. oops lol!!)

[miloformula123fan]

Could you do fic for James Vowles with wife author!reader? ( He's at Williams ) He always goes to her events even though he's busy but he still makes time just to support her. And vice versa. Just something fluff and cute. Thanks!! :))

this is definitely not amazing, but im secretly quite happy with it

(also updates are gonna slow the fuck down because i have assessments and exams this term yay /s)

Please keep requesting - y'all have awesome ideas we agree on a lot of stuff :) - my guidelines are here, and if you want some prompts, they are here.

also feel free to come in and start chatting to me in my asks, would love to get to know y'all better

and if you want to be added to my taglist lmk :)

james vowles x wife!author!reader

---

book talk:

Y/N watched as a teenage girl walked up to the microphone. She clearly looked nervous, as had many other people coming up, but Y/N tried to make her feel as at ease as possible.

“Um…hey Y/N, my name is Elodie, and I just wanted to say how much I love your writing…” - Elodie

James quietly shut the door, once Logan and Alex were through, and didn’t try and push through the crowded room, they instead settled for a spot near the back where they could still see Y/N. They were sure that if people recognised them, they would be shunted towards the front or ushered backstage. They didn’t want that, they just wanted to stay inconspicuous at the back.

“Aww thank you Elodie, what was your question?” Y/N smiled reassuringly

“Um…well, for your book, ‘a sweet sting of salt’, I was just wondering if you had any inspiration for the character Tobias. While he isn’t the best character in the story, you said he was one of your favourite characters to write, and I was just wondering why?” Eloise asked

“Oh, that is a good question, thank you Elodie. Um… while the actions are obviously not based on him, a lot of Tobias’ so-called ‘good’ elements are actually based on my husband. So…okay I’m gonna hope that everyone has read the book, so I don’t spoil it,” she smiled “Um, so for those of you who are unaware, my husband is James Vowles, and he is the Team Principal of Williams, which is a motorsport for those who are very out of the loop. So I guess the main words I would use to describe both Tobias and James, other than loving because Tobias is definitely not, are logical, quiet, grounded, organised and productive.”

James smiles, watching his wife talk about something she was so passionate about.

“So for example, for logical qualities for Tobias and James in chapter 10, Tobias uses deductive reasoning, which I would like to say is James’ strong suit, however he sometimes misuses it, like deducing who ate the chocolate, the wife or the dog. Tobias uses it for more evil, using it for working out how to do the things he does. Maybe they are more evil and similar and similar.” Y/N pondered, garnering a small laugh from the audience

James stopped smiling, as he listened to his wife compare him to a literal murderer in her book. Logan and Alex were standing next to him, trying to avoid their laughs.

“Then for quiet, in chapter 16, James likes sneaking around and scaring the shit out of me when he gets back from the factory and from races to scare the shit out of me, and Tobias uses it for murder. Huh, maybe these 2 characters are closer together than I thought.” Y/N pondered, laughing as she saw her husband’s face

“Darling, I’m not a thief and a murderer. I honestly don’t know why you based Tobias off of me.” James tried to mediate.

However it was enough for Alex and Logan to burst out laughing, joining in with the rest of the crowd, who had discovered that James was there and found it very funny.

“I’m just saying you share similar qualities, more than I initially insisted. Are you sure you didn’t secretly murder someone?” Y/N tilted her head, as if genuinely thinking about the question

“Darling…” James tried to plead again

“ANYWAY - Then for grounded, in chapter 18…” - Y/N, moved on, continuing with her ideas.

---

garage:

“And during this safety car period, Alex, our camera man has gone for a wander and he has gone down to the Williams garage, and while we’re normally looking at the team principal or other important people, we have instead zoomed in on Y/N Vowles. Now for those who don’t know, she is a writer, and she seems pretty hard at work at this book on her laptop. Now that will be good news for anyone who reads her books, including me, she writes very good books, available at all the awesome book stores, and no she hasn’t paid us for that, we just think her books are amazing. Oh and she waved at us. Hi Y/N!” - Jolyon said from the commentary box

James smiled at the sight of Y/N on his screen. While this weekend had been very stressful, it was very nice having his wife be there for him in the garage and then back at the hotel rooms, even after all the late meetings. He watched as she smiled and waved at the screen, and he was unable to resist the temptation as he smiled at the picture and waved back, earning another laugh from the commentators.

---

book talk part 2:

“Sorry Y/N, my name is Leo, this is a bit of a personal question…” a teenage boy asked

“...as long as it’s not when I’m having a baby, or where I live, it should be okay, hit me!”  Y/N tried to put him at ease.

“Your schedule for this book tour is a little all over the place, if you don’t mind me saying, it was basically like the first 2 months of the year, and now there’s just kinda weeks off or even months off, and I was just wondering if there was any sense to the schedule.” Leo shuffled awkwardly, unsure of how she would react to the question.

“Ah, well there actually is. First off, I cannot tour every week of the year, because I think I would just simply die. But the reason I picked those weeks off is because if my husband again. Are you guys sensing a pattern here? I love James, and I really want to support him at all the f1 races. So those are the weeks I took off, basically. And second, Baby Vowles is due in 6 months, thanks guys!” Y/N laughed as she put down the microphone and walked off stage, laughing as the cheers from the crowd grew louder.

---

taglist: @leosxrealm, @tallrock35, @wolf-knights, @janeholt3, @pear-1206

[whimsiandwild]

Pairing: Astarion x Female!reader; Former Gortash x Female!reader

Word Count: 1400

Triggers [PLEASE READ]: Mentions of past abuse, panic attacks, PTSD, verbal abuse, implied non-consensual, hurt/comfort, some fluff at the end.

A/N [PLEASE READ]: So, this is coming from a very personal place upon some revelations I've had today. It's heavy so please don't feel obligated to read it. And please, please don't read it if you are triggered by any of the above; I know how hard it is to deal with this stuff on a daily basis and never want to be the cause for anyone. To anyone who does read it, thank you <3

“Tav, are you alrighht? What’s wrong?”

Icy fingers on your shoulder made you jump, grabbing the offending limb and shoving it off. Spinning around, Astarion grabbed the top of your arms to still you. The concern on his face had never been more genuine.

“Darling, are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine.”

Your smile didn’t reach your eyes and he frowned, taking your hand in his and linking your fingers as he led the party into Wrym’s Rock. He knew something was wrong, and that it had something to do with the man you’d all been summoned by, he just didn’t know why. Gods, you’d always hoped you’d never have to tell him.

There had been telltale signs that he’d recognised as the two of you grew closer, similar things that occurred in him when a particularly awful memory of Cazador resurfaced. He’d asked about it, but you’d always told him it was nothing. Just a bad memory you didn’t need to dwell on. And you hadn’t, not really. Sure, the trauma attached was still there but you could handle it, you had for years. But then you’d seen him before the fight with Ketheric Thorm. A man you’d hoped to never see again, now being ordained archduke of Baldur’s Gate.

The guards showed you into the ceremony hall, your hand sweating in Astarion’s grip as you began the long walk down the aisle; it felt like a lifetime, a force beyond your control forcing your legs to move. You couldn’t look up, feeling bile rise in your throat as you stared at the carpet. Everything you’d worked so hard to forget was coming back to hit you full force. You wanted to hurl, and cry, and scream, and run away. Mostly, you wanted to hurt him. Hurt him the way he’d constantly hurt you, but you knew that was a line you’d never be able to cross.

“Well, well, well. Look what’s been dragged back into my home.”

Your legs almost gave out beneath you, his voice still as charming and alluring as ever, your free hand clinging to your vampire’s shirt sleeve. Astarion had become more than a little concerned by this point, Lae’zel and Gale flanking the two of you.

“Still as ignorant and disobedient as ever,” he scoffed, and you felt Astarion tense beside you, your grip only tightening in an attempt to keep him by your side. “Look at me when I’m speaking!”

Without a moment’s hesitation, your head snapped up and you were staring into the all too familiar eyes of Enver Gortash. Still handsome as ever, and with that vicious glint in his eyes that always occurred when he looked at you, at his property.

He’d been Enver Flymm when you’d first met him. He hadn’t been the most loving of partner’s, but he showed it… in his own way. Soon, however, he got lost. Then Enver Gortash was born. An abusive tyrant who had put you through hell until you’d finally managed to escape. You could still remember that nigt. The way your wrists had bled as you’d tried desperately to break free of your restraints, the painful swelling around your eye and the deep gashes along your legs. The scars seemed to flame against your skin at the memory.

You couldn’t speak. You couldn’t breathe. Why was breathing so hard? How was everyone so seemingly fine? Astarion was staring at you in bewilderment, worry etched into his furrowed brow. You didn’t know what to say, couldn’t think of the words to convey the fear that was threatening to bubble over any minute and make you run screaming.

“Your manners clearly need improvement,” Gortash sneered, his hard, cold gaze never leaving your cowering figure. “Now, it seems we all have some things to discuss, regarding all this ridiculous Absolute business. However, I have a ceremony to begin. You will stay and watch, won’t you, kitten?”

The use of the old pet name he’d used to degrade you was enough to finally break your resolve. Bursting into tears, the last thing you saw as your companions dragged you away was his smug, arrogant smile.

His hands were everywhere. You tugged at your hands but, as always, the bonds were tight and unbreakable. Panic began to flood your veins as he grabbed at you too tightly, bit too harshly, moved your body too roughly. And there was nothing you could do but lay there and let it happen.

“I don’t see why you’re being so difficult, kitten. You’re normally much more compliant.”

Tears leaked from the corners of your eyes and wet your hair, shaking your head in denial. He was lying, you knew he was, but it still caused the same guilt and shame to flare up it always did. He was always so good at making you believe you were the problem, the one who’d done wrong. He’d done it so many time you almost believed him.

With a sharp tug at both your knees, he spread your legs as wide as he could, the sudden jolt of pain shooting up your thighs making you cry out in agony. One hand freed a leg but you weren’t brave enough to move it back. He used his now free hand to run against your core, smirking as he glanced in satisfaction at the slick on his fingers.

“You filthy little bitch. All this protesting and you’re already dying to have me.”

“Enver,” you begged, your lip trembling as he towered over you suddenly. “Please don’t.”

“Shut up!” he shouted, making you flinch and look away. He gripped your chin and forced your tearful eyes to stare at him. “You’ll take it, and you’ll enjoy it.”

You struggled against him as he lined himself up, screaming as he entered you with no care in the world for your wellbeing…

The screaming got louder and louder to your ears until you realised you’d screamed yourself awake, along with your poor partner. Astarion was bewildered as his hands cupped your wet face in an attempt to calm you. You were panting by the time you’d realised you’d been dreaming, your heart close to breaking out of your chest.

“Darling, what happened? What’s wrong?”

“Oh gods… he…. he-!”

You sobbed into your hands, unable to finish your sentence as he cradled you, embracing you for however long you needed him to. Eventually your tears stopped falling, though the ache in your chest wouldn’t fade, no matter how hard you tried to rid yourself of it.

Astarion was more quiet and patient than you’d ever remembered seeing him. He was clearly deep in thought, and you didn’t want to disturb him. Instead, you wrapped yourself around him and enveloped yourself in every aspect that was him. He was your safe space, and you needed to relish in that right now.

“I have to ask, darling,” he said quietly after a long while. “This Gortash,” He all but spat the word. “Did he… did he treat you as Cazador treated me?”

Nodding, you buried your face into his chest as his grip on you tightened. You were relieved he hadn’t asked you to elaborate; you didn’t think you’d ever be able to speak out loud the horrendous things that man had done.

“Tav, please know this, and know it to be true,” His fingers tilted your chin so you were gazing into his liquid crimson eyes. “If he comes near you again, if he merely looks at you, I will rip him to pieces, revive him, and do it all over again. You never need to tell me details; I’m sure I can understand well enough; but know I’m here. I won’t let anyone hurt you like that ever again. I… I love you, darling.”

Breaking down, you let him hold you for the rest of the night, your head on his chest as he comforted you with words of love and soft touches. Sniffing, you dried your face, and sat up on your elbows, staring down at him.

“I… thank you, Astarion,” you whispered, pressing a hard kiss to his lips. “I love you.”

He said nothing, just flashing you that charming smile of his before he pulled you back to him, holding onto you like his livelihood may depend on it. You stayed like this for as long as time would allow, and you’d never felt safer.

[kelcemenow]

Dream Girl.

Pairing Travis Kelce x Reader

Words 4810

Warnings Smut, fluff, language, alcohol, angst...just, tread carefully.

This was an anon request, how exciting! This was my first request and I am very open to receiving more! I embellished the plot request a little bit, to add some angst as I've not got a lot of that in my other stuff so far. I hope I did your request justice, whoever you are! "Heyy i have a request if you ever wanna try it, I meet Travis at Coachella this year I was thinking if you could do a fic x reader where they bump into each other at a concert/festival and one thing let to another"

The crowds were busy and the sun was hot, which only made it worse. People were shoulder to shoulder, stranger skin's touching and you were trying your best to keep your personal space.

But you loved it.

You had counted down the days to Coachella. Planning the trip, organising travel and accommodation. Each year you had wanted to go but finances and work commitments made it impossible. But since you had launched your own beauty brand, everything seemed to fall into place. You were able to attend this year as an influencer, securing luxury accommodation in one of the Safari Campground's stunning yurts.

"Okay, let's get a drink and then go to see Blondie?"

You quickly glanced at your watch before looking back to Ayla, your best friend and business partner who was attending the festival with you.

"Sounds like a plan."

You both made your way across the grass to the nearest bar, stopping to take a couple of photos. As you joined the end of the line, you pulled out your phone to post the photos to your business page. You were slowly getting close to the front of the line when you were bumped into by someone behind you.

You shot Ayla a look of annoyance but decided to ignore it. You were expecting this and you had attended festivals in the past with a similar issue. It was busy, you understood that, but when the stranger behind you bumped into you again, you turned your head slightly and cleared your throat.

In your peripheral vision, you could see a small group of tall men behind you, talking loudly and fooling around.

Ayla nudged your arm, "Just boys acting like little boys."

You nodded in agreement and stepped forward as the line moved along when a loud voice behind you pierced your eardrums.

"Hey yo! Can we get some beers here?"

Your eyes furrowed and you spun around, "Excuse me, but-"

Your heart dropped at the sight of the man before you. Nike baseball cap, colourful striped t-shirt, white denim shorts and bright sneakers. He had a trimmed beard and sunglasses covering his eyes but you recognised him straight away.

"Travis?"

"Y/N." He smiled back, reaching out for a hug.

You awkwardly accepted the embrace, wrapping your arms around his 6 foot 5 inch frame. You pulled away, your breathing quickening it's pace. You could barely keep eye contact with him as he tried to catch your gaze.

"How've you been? It's been a while."

"Y-yeah...I've been great."

"What can I get you?" You heard an unfamiliar voice behind you.

You spun around to face the bartender and froze, your mind still focusing on the burning feeling in your chest.

"Four beers, please." Ayla shouted over the noise of the music.

You smiled at Ayla and picked up the bottles, quickly turning and walking briskly away from the bar. Ayla tried to keep up with you before stopping you with a hand on your shoulder.

"What the hell, Y/N? Who was that?" She pushed her braids away from her face as she turned her head over her shoulder to get another look at him.

You blinked and took a sip of your beer, "That is Travis Kelce. Tight End for the Kansas City Chiefs. Two-time Superbowl winner. Eight-time Pro-Bowler and four-time All-Pro. Fastest Tight End to reach-"

Ayla waved her hands in front of your face, "Stop, stop. I have no idea what you're talking about."

You took another sip. "My childhood sweetheart."

Ayla's mouth dropped open, "Oh dang."

"Oh, dang indeed." You took another sip and started walking further towards the crowd gathering at the stage. "But it's no big deal, it was 10 years ago or something."

Ayla stood in front of you, "Yeah...but you should totally go and speak to him. He's fine! And he's looking at you."

You felt your cheeks blush instantly. You and Travis had been friends all through High School. He was a year older than you but you had grown up together and your parents were friends so you spent a lot of time in each others company. You were his date for his senior prom and he told you he had always had a crush on you. Since then, your friendship blossomed into an intense and long relationship. You eventually joined him at the University of Cincinnati but when he was drafted to Kansas City after college, you couldn't take it.

"So, are you saying that football is more important than me?"

"No, but you are just as important as my career." Travis tried to reach out for you, "Move with me."

You pushed him away. "I can't, I have work and school."

"This is an amazing opportunity for me."

"You just don't get it."

Ayla grabbed at your arm, "Oh shit, he's coming over."

You raked a hand through your hair quickly and looked down at yourself, making sure that you looked good. Ayla winked at you and stepped back a bit, pulling her phone out to pretend she was making a call.

You felt his presence behind you and took a deep breath before turning around.

"Hey." You breathed.

His eyes travelled down your body and back up to meets yours.

You held up a finger, "And you can stop doing that, right now."

Travis laughed and glanced to the floor, rubbing his palms together, "You haven't changed one bit."

You cocked your head to one side, "I hope you have."

He held his hands up, "Woah, where's all of this hostility coming from, man?"

You sighed in frustration, "What do you want, Travis?" Folding your arms across your body.

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "Ah man, do you still hate me that much?"

"I don't hate you, I-" You stopped yourself immediately. You sighed again.

Travis' eyes flickered around your face, hoping for a sign of what you were going to say to him.

After a short silence, you shook your head, "Look, I'll see you around."

You started to walk past him when he grabbed at your wrist, stopping you with his face inches away from yours.

"I hope so. You look good, Y/N." His voice was low and gruff and it made you go numb for a second.

You managed a small smile before walking towards Ayla, your heart aggressively beating out of your chest.

_______________________________________________

"Call me! On the line, call me, call me any, anytime!" You screamed as your arms waved wildly in the air.

Ayla had her phone pointed at you, singing along with you. The tassels on your denim jacket swirling and shimmering in the light.

You felt your phone vibrate in your bag. You reached for it and unlocked the screen, your eyes narrowing as you opened up an Instagram message.

"killatrav: Come meet me by the VIP entrance. We could talk?"

You locked your phone and placed in back into your bag, choosing to enjoy the festival, instead of dragging up old memories.

"I love you so much, Y/N." He grasped at your hands, desperate.

"I love you too, Travis."

"Just not enough, huh?"

"Will you stop? It's difficult. We're both young, Travis. You have this huge future in front of you. I need to stay here and focus on my last year of school. I need to have a future too."

"Not with me? Is that what you're saying?"

"I need to give myself a chance. I can't be hanging onto you all of my life. I need something for myself. I want to graduate, start a business, make something of myself, just like you will. But I need to do this on my own."

Travis looked utterly defeated.

Suddenly, Ayla's phone was in front of your face and she appeared next to you, ready to take a photograph of the pair of you. You plastered on a wide smile and winked for the camera, wrapping an arm around her waist to get in closer, allowing the past to fade from your mind.

_______________________________________________

You gently rubbed your clouded eyes as you walked back to your yurt for the night. Ayla and yourself had danced and laughed all night, enjoying the music and drinking beer. Now, you were heading back to sleep for as many hours as you could grab before starting the next day of the festival. Ayla had planned to go to an early Yoga session at the Wellness Oasis the next morning and you had agreed to go, although you were currently regretting that decision.

"Ooh, no line at the bathrooms, hold on. I'll be just a minute."

You took hold of Ayla's bag and smiled, "No problem, I'll wait here."

She disappeared into bathroom area as you scrolled through the photos you had taken that day when someone blocked the light shining from the lamp next to you.

Looking up, you saw Travis grinning down at you. You rolled your eyes and returned to you phone.

"Oh man, come on! Are you not pleased to see me?"

You looked back up at him, "Travis, I came here to have a good time-"

He came closer to you, your bodies almost touching, "I can give you a good time."

You playfully hit his chest, instantly reeling at the hard muscle under his shirt, "Will you stop?"

There was a slight giggle in your voice which lightened the mood. Travis rested against the fence next you.

"Will you at least just tell me why you hate me? You broke up with me remember?"

You looked down at the floor, "Travis, I said earlier, I don't hate you..."

He almost reached for you but stopped. You looked down at his hand.

"...I love you."

Travis' mouth opened slightly. You finally met his gaze and blinked away some tears that were pooling around your lower lash line.

"Shit, I'm too drunk for this right now." You shook your head and started to walk away.

Before you could make one step, Travis blocked your path. He suddenly grasped at your waist, pulling you close and pressing his lips to yours. The kiss felt frantic, messy but you melted into it for just a second before pulling away.

"Travis." You stayed close to his face.

"Y/N?" Ayla said from behind you.

You whipped your head around and stepped away from Travis.

"Am I interrupting?"

You cleared your throat, "Yes, thank you. Come on." You took hold of Ayla's hand and left Travis where he was standing.

"What is going on?" Ayla panted as she tried to keep up with you.

"I just need to get away from him."

"Why?"

"Ayla, I've spent 10 years of my life trying to forget about Travis Kelce. And him being here now...it's just bringing all of these feelings back that I don't think I ever got over." You slowed down to a stop.

Ayla reached forward and stroked your hair, "Aww, honey."

Your eyes darted around to make sure he hadn't followed you, "Can we just go back to the yurt and go to sleep?"

"Sure." She gave you a gentle and sympathetic smile before taking your hand.

_______________________________________________

You breathed in deeply, listening to the relaxing music and stretched into your next pose. You had decided to go to Yoga with Ayla, figuring that an hour of relaxation would do you some good.

You closed your eyes and focused on the sounds of the rain stick, but it only made your mind wander to memories of Travis' senior prom. The sound of the rain against the roof of his car. The smell of Travis' cologne. The feeling of your dress resting on your knees.

"Shall we go in?" You asked him.

"Wait a minute...at least until it stops raining."

You laughed, "Travis, that could take all night!"

He smiled, "I don't care. I'd much rather sit here with you than go in there anyway."

"You're crazy!"

Travis took a deep breath, "Y/N, I need to tell you something." He was looking down at his hands, fiddling with the bottom hem of his blazer.

"Oh, there's Stephanie!" You spotted your friend at the driver's side window, waving your hands wildly, "Stephanie, we'll be there in a minute!" You shouted through the window.

Travis took your hands in his own and held them tight, "Y/N, I'm trying to tell you something!"

You blinked and lowered your voice slightly, "Okay, okay, go ahead."

He hummed gently, "We're friends, right?"

You squeezed his hands, "Best friends."

"Yeah." Travis paused, "But...have you ever thought that we maybe could be anything else?"

You pushed your eyebrows together, "What do you mean."

Travis began tracing small circles on the back of your hands with his thumbs, "Y/N, I like you, I always have." He breathed a laugh, "Shit, I've had a crush on you since we were, like, 13."

Your eyes widened as he spoke.

"I've never had the guts to tell you but since I'm going to college I...I thought I had nothing to lose?"

Your lips parted slightly, a small breath escaped and you looked into Travis' eyes. They were full of apprehension and nerves, emotions that were rare for him. You were so used to seeing him being confident, almost cocky but here he was, completely vulnerable and open to you.

You smiled, "Travis-"

"If you don't feel the same way, that's fine. And we can just go in there and enjoy prom and pretend that this never happened. But before you say anything else-"

"I love the way you eat hotdogs in two bites. I love the way you dance every time you score a touchdown or a three pointer. I love the way you smile at me from across the cafeteria and the way you always let me pick the movies we watch. I love that you're always the first one to back me up with anything, even if I'm being a jerk. I hate that you're about be 3 hours away from me but most importantly, I hate that it has taken you this long to tell me how you felt, because...I love you, Travis."

A slow smile crept onto Travis' face before he leaned forward and kissed you, the most gentle but most passionate kiss. His hands stayed grasping at yours, his cologne filling your nostrils.

"You're my dream girl."

You opened your eyes as the sound of the rain stick stopped and the instructor stood up. You could feel tears building up in your eyes and you attempted to sniff them away.

As you made your way out of the Wellness Oasis, you looked up at the morning sun. You needed to find Travis, to speak to him and get some closure.

Reaching for your phone, you quickly typed out a message.

"I need to see you."

You kept your eyes glued to the screen as you waited for a response.

"Where are you? I'm coming now."

_______________________________________________

You found a relatively quiet area in the camp lounge, sitting yourself down on a yellow beanbag. You were nervous and anxious, chewing on the inside of your cheek.

A figure blocked the light streaming in through the entrance to the large tent. Travis looked just as nervous as you felt, but he smiled when he spotted you. You stood up, instinctively, to give him a hug as he got closer to you. He felt stronger than you were used to. He had grown in 10 years and you sighed at the safe feeling his arms gave you. You sat back down and he followed by pulling up another beanbag in front of you.

He glanced at your mint green leggings and matching cropped shirt, "You had a workout?"

You smiled, "Eh yeah, I did some Yoga this morning."

"Wow." He smiled, "I remember when I could barely get out of bed for class."

You nodded, "Things have changed."

The smile almost faded from Travis' face, "Yeah, it seems so."

There was an awkward silence.

"Why didn't you call me?"

Travis widened his eyes and sat up slightly, "What?"

"Why didn't you call me? Text me? Anything?"

"You said you didn't want me to." There was almost a crack in his voice.

You frowned, "Because I was hurt. I felt like you didn't care about me."

"I cared about you a lot, I did care about you...I still do care."

Another silence. You weren't sure what to say. Resting back onto your beanbag you looked around at the small pockets of people around the tent. Relaxing, reading, cooling off from the sun and chatting. You turned back to Travis to see he was still looking at you. Your heart ached and your chest burned with a mixture of feelings, but the emotion at the fore front was love. He had changed physically; his stature was somehow even taller than you remembered and his shoulders had broadened. His face had aged well, growing into his features making him undeniably handsome. His eyes hadn't changed, though. They still pierced into yours, causing your stomach to bubble with excitement just as it used to.

"I saw you launched a beauty brand?" He fidgeted with his fingers.

"Uh, yeah. Last year, actually. It's...going really well." You nodded and smiled.

"That was always your dream." His lips flattened against each other into a sad smile, "I'm really proud of you."

"I'm proud of you too, Travis."

He rubbed his palms together, "I missed you though. It isn't the same without you at the games."

You smiled, "You've done just fine without me."

"I didn't want to though." He cleared his throat gently.

You opened your mouth but Travis leaned forward.

"Can I take you on a date?"

You laughed, confused, "What? Here?"

Travis looked around, "Why not? Look, come to my cabin that I'm staying in."

You chewed on your bottom lip and your chest was rising and falling quicker. "O-okay."

His mouth moved into a smile, "Okay, great! I'll send you the location."

_______________________________________________

"Oh my God? Oh my God. Are you really doing this?" Ayla looked at you with wide eyes.

You ran your hands through your hair, reaching for your compact mirror, "Yeah, why not?"

"Well, just yesterday you were saying that you didn't want to bring up any old feelings? Now, you're doing the complete opposite."

You sighed, "I just want to spend some time with him. I think...I think we could still have something."

Ayla paused and raised her eyebrows, "You think?"

"Don't look at me like that." You snapped.

Ayla leaned back, "Woah, woah, relax. I just don't want you back here in a couple of hours upset and crying and saying you never should have gone. I'm just looking out for you, honey."

"I know what I'm doing." You tried to reassure her as you closed your mirror and returned it to your bag.

"And what is it that you're doing?"

"I don't know. But I want to see him. Whatever happens, I have to at least try?"

_______________________________________________

The sounds of the festival were low and muffled through the walls of Travis' cabin which was luxuriously decorated in warm oranges and neutral greens. You had already had some beers before you arrived to calm your nerves and now you were sipping more on Travis' bed.

"Remember when you broke the ladder to my tree house? My Dad was so mad at you." You laughed. "He'd only just built it!"

Travis placed a hand over his stomach as he laughed, slightly rolling towards you, "Oh shit, yeah. I thought he was gunna kick my ass that day."

"I still don't think he's forgiven you." You looked away, "He's also a Raiders fan."

Travis' hand moved up to his chest as he groaned, "Ahh, Mr Y/L/N! Why you gotta do me like that?"

You relaxed slightly and laughed along with him.

"Remember when my Mom walked in on us when we were...?"

Your eyes sparkled as you sipped your beer, "Mmmm, oh yeah! Bless her heart!"

"She was happy in the end though, she always liked you, she still does. She asks about you sometimes, you know? Asks me if I've spoken to you."

Your tipped your head to one side, pouting your lips and touching his arm subconsciously, "Aww I love Donna. I miss her." You placed your drink on the small table next to the bed.

Travis leaned across you, putting his beer bottle down next to yours, "Do you miss me?"

Your eyes burned, "Everyday, Travis. I miss you everyday."

His gaze lowered to your mouth before returning to your eyes. He licked his lips as he leaned in closer, hovering over your mouth.

You froze, just inches away from his face, a throbbing starting to grow in your core. Travis took a deep breath before you closed the gap between you, pressing your lips to his with a firm pressure. Your eyes flickered shut and your mouth moved with his. Travis brought his hand to your face, gently caressing your cheek as you rolled your body towards him, your chest pressing into his. As the kiss became deeper, he lifted himself slightly so that he was almost leaning over you and you responded by grabbing his shirt and pulling him on top of you. Your back hit the soft mattress and Travis' hand began to explore you. You smiled slightly as he ghosted over your breast, almost unsure if you welcomed his touch.

Almost immediately, you placed your hand on top of his and pushed it onto your chest, allowing him to grab at the flesh underneath your clothes. Travis's hips bucked forwards into your pelvis and you could feel a hardness that made you tingle. You groaned into the kiss, tugging at the fabric covering his body. He stood up quickly, pulling his shirt off over his head. Your eyes gleamed at your studied his torso, sporting more hair and defined muscles than you remember. He bit down on his bottom lip and he crawled back towards you, fingers running over the low neckline of your sequin dress. You sat up and lifted the dress off, exposing your matching lace bra and thong. Travis' face froze as he stood up and he breathed hard and fast, eyes tracing your body longingly. You raised up onto your knees as Travis remained still at the foot of the bed.

Looking up at him through your eyelashes, you kept eye contact whilst you slowly lowered his shorts and black briefs in one motion. His cock sprang free and bounced slightly in font of your face. It was hard and a small bead of moisture had formed at the tip. You licked your lips and slowly took his entire length in your mouth, your head starting to bob. Travis let out a low grunt and carefully placed his hand at the back of your head. Your tongue ran up and down his entire length and you saw his thighs start to twitch. Quickly, you pushed your head to take his dick deeper, the tip pushing against the back of your throat.

"Oh, baby." Travis moaned.

You gagged slightly, saliva forming in your throat. With a gasp, you tilted your head back and swallowed. Travis took his thumb and ran it over your bottom lip.

"Babygirl, I've missed you so much."

You smiled, letting him guide you back down onto the bed. He kissed you lazily from your neck to your hips, his hands pulling your thong down. His eyes looked at you hungrily as you took your bra off, your nipples hard with arousal and your skin speckled with goose bumps. His head lowered down and you watched as his soft lips placed small kisses around your waist and inner thighs, waves of pleasure forming every time he was close to your pussy. You whimpered when he nibbled at your sensitive skin, his action getting closer and closer to where you wanted him. He quickly looked up at you to see your face before his tongue flicked at your clit. You cried out and he smiled that he was causing you to make those noises again after so long. As his tongue expertly worked at your folds, you were becoming more and more breathless.

"Travis...Trav-uhhh...that feels..."

He hummed as he pushed his tongue against your pussy, licking your folds slowly and gently. He lapped up the wetness that was forming before bringing himself back up to you. You lifted your head to kiss his lips, his trimmed beard glistening.

"You taste so sweet." His voice was a low groan.

With one quick action, Travis lifted one of your legs over his shoulder and ran his length down your folds, your wetness coating his dick. You gasped as he ground his dick against your pussy, his tip grazing your clit with each motion.

"I need...I need you."

Travis pressed his forehead onto yours and looked deeply into your eyes, "You want it?"

You nodded, shakily, "Yes, please. P-please, Travis. I need you inside of me."

He carefully lined himself up before pushing the whole length of his hardness into you, your eyes widening with each inch. You cried out again, your mouth gaping open. Travis began thrusting gently, keeping full eye contact with you. You looked at him pleadingly as his eyebrows lowered more with every thrust. Your breasts were bouncing quicker and when your eyes rolled back into your head and your back arched upwards, Travis responded by pushing into you even harder.

You squealed and grabbed onto the bed sheets with both hands, biting down on your bottom lip. Travis brought his mouth to your neck, gently sucking and groaning against your skin.

Travis' shoulders seemed to tense and without warning, he flipped you around on top of him and your knees landed either side of his hips. His thick cock was still inside of you and without missing a beat, you started bouncing. Travis reached out for your breasts, rolling your nipples between his fingers. You looked down to him and his face was quivering. You could see he was close so you leaned down, his dick now grazing your g-spot. You wanted to climax at the same time as him so you arched your back and bounced your ass up and down. Travis moaned even louder with your action and closed his eyes, his jaw clenching.

You sped up, the sound of your inner thighs slapping against his hips loud in the air. Travis opened his mouth, grunting breathlessly. You could feel your own core tightening at his impressive stamina, his hands lowering to your waist, leaving red marks in their wake. Your bounces became lazy as your muscles were tiring so you leaned forward and angled your body downwards, letting Travis' entire length fill your pussy. Grinding back and forth, his tip grazed your walls, making your arousal cover his cock. You smiled at how wet he was making you, a shiver travelling down your spine as your nipples rubbed against his chest hair. His hips bucked upwards, making his dick go even deeper than you thought it could.

Suddenly, Travis rolled over, his length exiting you with a wet sound. He turned you onto your side, moving close in behind you. You lifted your knee, making your pussy accessible for him. With one hand holding your breast and the other hooked around your lifted leg, he pushed his cock back inside of you with ease, causing a soft moan to escape your lips. He moved slowly and gently, massaging your breast with a light touch. Your skin tingled and you squeezed your eyes closed, pushing your face into the pillow. Travis snaked his hand around to your chin and pulled your face towards him, peppering your cheek with sloppy kisses. His grip on you tightened and he groaned in your ear, making you close to orgasm.

"I...love you. I always have." He grunted through his breaths.

His words made you clench your walls around him, making your swollen clit burn and release an intense high across your whole body. Travis lifted himself slightly onto his elbow so he could look into your eyes. He stared deep, watching your face squirm with every thrust. You could feel his pace labouring, signalling his nearing approach to orgasm. With a few aggressive thrusts, Travis' eyes grew wider and he let go of your leg, his hand moving directly to your clit. He growled as he filled you with his semen, covering your lips with kisses.

You laid in his embrace for a moment, letting your breathing slow down. His hot breath against your neck, he loosened his grip. He relaxed onto his back and you rolled over to rest your head on his chest. Pulling your arm over him, he stroked your hair.

"You're my dream girl, Y/N."

_______________________________________________

That got rather smutty. More than I anticipated, actually. I hope you enjoyed it. I may consider doing a request/prompt list if I start to get more and people are enjoying them!

[akutasoda]

omfg dazai and chuuya with a rockstar gf bro 🙏🙏

love that can light up a stage

synopsis - they truly are your number one fan

includes - dazai, chuuya

warnings - gn!reader, reader is a rockstar, fluff, slight crack?, wc - 459

a/n: genius. wasn't quite sure if you wanted them together so i did them separate, lmk if you wanted otherwise!

osamu dazai ★↷

↪he probably listened to your songs unironically but never bothered to learn who you actually were, not until he heard you speaking and started connecting some dots about your voice.

↪so before you two even got together he was secretly fangirling over you as he did quite like your music. and that only increased tenfold when you two actually got together - but you never found out until later.

↪absolutely would buy any of your merch should you choose to have some, either way your albums/cds are kept safe and sound in pristine condition. that's probably how you found out he was a fan, after he asked if he got special access to your stuff.

↪if you did live events you bet he would show up regardless. front row and everything, cheering you on and helping you relax backstage afterwards telling you how well you did.

↪he called himself your number fan and you definitely didn't doubt that. would shamelessly glare at your fans and, if you were okay with it, would gloat about your relationship and be more than happy to show it off.

chuuya nakahara ★↷

↪probably just stumbled across your music, a stark contrast to his normal taste but a welcome one nonetheless. he immediately took a liking too it and decided that you were someone he thoroughly enjoyed listening too on repeat.

↪however you met, he probably would immediately recognise your voice but became so confused on what to do as he never wanted to come across as a creepy fan but he still wanted to greet you. so going into the relationship you were well aware of him being a fan.

↪you even were the one that joked that because you were dating he was your number one fan unknowing that he took that very serious and did start claiming he was your number one fan. and he probably was and not just because you two were together.

↪he definitely keeps a whole separate case specifically for your albums/cds and keeps them so clean you start to doubt they even were sold that shiny. and similar to if you sold merch, he owns all of it and keeps it in perfect condition.

↪the type to but you the best if whatever you played, mainly guitars, always insisting and would buy the most expensive tickets for your live events if you did them. even though you would tell him it wasn't necessary constantly.

↪he would also like to join you backstage after your shows. treating you to whatever as you did so well constantly during your performances. even if he sent some fans death glares as he could get quite jealous sometimes.

[homunculus-argument]

I think I've fallen in love with one of your characters, could you tell me some more stuff about Foxtrap-Todd/Aiden ar dsgjfdey?

Aiden ar Gar. And I think the reason for his name was one of the stories I could never quite weave into the story itself. Being at first raised in the Northlands by his northman father, who was a fur trapper, Aiden was allowed to roam pretty much unsupervised while not being taught into the trade. After his father's death he was shipped into the Empire to live with his mother - who had originally not wanted him, the Empire is a matriarchy and she had wanted a daughter for an heir, not a son.

So he went from being raised by an alcoholic recluse in the northern wilderness to being raised by the tutor slave his mother - a lower warrior class noblewoman - purchased to raise him. Still being mostly feral and largely unsupervised, he would sneak out into the streets to find something to do. And befriended a bunch of stray kids.

Having no real mutual language and no real knowledge of how to survive on the streets, Aiden still wanted to impress his new friends by showing off that he does know something, and showed them how to build a squirrel trap. Which naturally only caught rats, being in a massive city in a sothern climate like this. His friends had never seen a rat trap like this before, and by this point Aiden recognises the word "rat", and while he doesn't know the word for "squirrel", he denies that it's not for rats! And he takes a stick and draws a squirrel into the sand of the street, emphasising the furry tail.

Turns out that his new peers don't know the local word for "squirrel", either. They've grown up in the big city and have never seen one. But they have seen fox skins, and put together that this is a fox trap! So from thereon he is Foxtrap-Todd. And this is one of those stories that Todd starts telling people when he's drunk enough to start telling the truth about his life in the middle of the wild outlandish lies he usually tells for fun.

And that's how nobody knows how much of Todd's stories of his life might actually be true. Because one moment he's claiming to be the son of a Northman who was raised in the lands where people walk on water (but only for half of the year, and he can't do that now), another time he claims to be a baron - and on top of that, really being the outlaw baron Aiden ar Gar being hunted down as the insurrection writer Blue Quill - though most of the time, everyone knows that he's just that stray boy Beun Fisher's slightly insane friend who lies about everything all the time.

The part that he doesn't lie about is being Blue Quill. He was framed, as he claims, and he truly does not know how or why. The two of them just happen to have an identical handwriting, with similar quirks. The actual Blue Quill, a writer of the revolution movement, is the tutor slave who taught him how to read and write.

[pitstoptaken]

i need to know more about racer!charles and wag!carlos!!

what about the off season? do they relax more there? are we getting charlos on a boat in the south of france? (i still believe this happened and it’s canon) how do they deal with fans asking for pictures and the press? and most importantly, does carlos take piñon on vacation with them?

love this au so much!!!

Thank you for the appreciation by the way 🥹🫶

Off season means Carlos a little bit busy because this means he will be present a lot at work so him and Charles being home alot at the first week of days off. They will rearrange everything later, to match Carlos’ work flow too.

ABSOLUTELY. Carlos is all about luxury places all over places but Charles is like, “let’s go to South of France, Carlos”. A little bit new for Carlos who never really a fan of being on a boat. But another wag life, we guess.

At this point Carlos was amazed that Charles is really known everywhere. Carlos thought Charles is something (something, a concept) that exist within every occurred in the circuit but people know him outside that? Charles is actually real? Carlos knew this would happen at some point but it’s just surprising for him sometimes.

People don’t really pay attention to him because he is a guy—we know it’s going to be different if Charles was out with a girl instead. So Carlos isn’t really bothered by it. Still, it’s surprising that people who recognise him and asks for a picture. Being an ~acquaintance~ of Charles Leclerc really will get you far.

The press? Probably Charles is talked alot by Spanish media because of this. Just a local gossip like that, you know? In a tabloid and stuff.

Piñon won’t be there with Charles and Carlos personally when they’re having their vacation but when Carlos brought him to Madrid, Charles and piñon would be reunited. Piñon will be so familiar of Charles to the point the dog will mistaken Charles and Carlos because they’re so similar in the terms of scent. (If you know, you know)

Also, thank you for this ask too!! If any of you want to send something about this series, please do hit me up 😎📩

[inej-ruination-ghafa]

BLOODY HANDS ‐ T.M

Warnings: nightmares, ptsd, grief, mentions to sex, kissing, mentions of War, Canon typical violence mentions, guns

Pairing: Tommy Miller x reader

Summary: you had loved Tommy once upon a time and after fifteen years you stumble across him and bring him home with you, unsure if he still loved you after all this time.

Wordcount: 4.9k

You always said you didn't have favourites but Sarah Miller was by far the best student you had ever had. You’d only been teaching for a few years but she was the epitome of a perfect student, good grades, always polite, hands her homework in on time and participates in the lesson.

The 9 year old would stay an hour late at school some days due to her fathers construction business taking up his time and since it was winter and getting darker, he didn’t want her walking the Texas streets alone. You didn't mind the company as you marked your papers, the girl reading to herself and finishing off work for other teachers.

You checked your watch, tapping it twice when it slowed slightly before you looked up at the clock on the wall and noticed it was a few minutes past the time that her father would usually pick her up.

Joel Miller was a single father working a construction business with his brother who was only 5 years younger than him but still living at home. The mothers at school always gawked over him and you couldn’t deny he was attractive with that mysterious air to him and those soft brown eyes that everyone fawned over.

You never usually minded Sarah staying a little later if he was running late, you understood how difficult it must be for him but you did have places to be, you couldn’t babysit Sarah forever.

“Sarah, do you want to grab your bag? Your father will be here soon,” you said and she nodded, placing her book back down on her desk and walking towards the other room to grab it.

You walked over to the window, peeking through the blinds as you searched the parking lot for the Millers SUV but when you didn't see it, you looked back up at the clock with a sigh. You were going to have to drive the girl home and explain to your headmaster how that doesn't break any laws.

As you put your books back in your bag, you heard the regular hum of the Millers car and kept packing your stuff away, calling out to Sarah to let her know that her dads here.

You heard the door open and assumed that Joel had let himself in like he normally did but instead of being greeted by his usual sting of apologies that you always forgave him for, you were met with silence.

“Mr Miller, yo-” you started to say but stopped when you saw the man behind you. You cocked your head to the side, eyes narrowed as you tried to figure out who the man leaning against the door was, “-you’re not Mr Miller,”

There was a slight panic in your voice but when he mailed you, you recognised that smile and shook your head, scoffing at how you hadn’t realised it sooner, “Tommy Miller,” you stated, almost questioning him.

He nodded, “I’m sorry I’m late picking her up, I don’t normally do this so I got a bit lost,” he explained, his Texan drawl evident and you nodded your head, noticing the similarities between the brothers.

They had the same smile and the same eyes but there was a joy in Tommy's eyes as you looked at him that Joel never had, a certain sparkle that most people only saw once or twice in their lives.

“Come in, I’m just packing up, Sarah is tidying up her stuff,” you explained and he nodded, coming into the classroom and closing the door.

He stood there and watched as you picked up the files from the floor, lifting them up to the shelf and tidying up like you had meant to do ever since school had ended an hour ago.

Tommy Miller leaned against your desk as he watched you try and neaten it all up due to having guests. He smiled to himself as he looked at you. He had heard all about you from Sarah and from Joel but seeing you in the flesh was completely different - neither of them had ever mentioned how stunning you were.

“I’m sorry again, for being late. You must have more important things to do then look after my niece,” he said and you turned back, looking at him over your shoulder with an understanding smile.

“I quite enjoy looking after your niece actually,” you said, turning around with a box in your arms, “And you could make it up to me by helping me put these files back?”

There was an almost teasing smile on his face as he walked over, taking the box from your hands with an ease that you didn't have, “Yes ma’am” he replied, “Where do you want me to put it?”

You gestured to the cabinet to your left, “In one of those gaps, I've been meaning to sort it all out for months now but never got around to it,” you explained, watching as he placed the box down before coming back for more.

That's when Sarah came out, her backpack slung over her shoulder and a smile on her face, "Uncle Tommy!" She exclaimed and he turned to look at her, another box still in his arms.

His grin matched hers and you could see the similarities in the family, all of them having grins that could light up the room and you could feel yourself wanting to smile as well.

There was something about Tommy Miller that lit up a room, whether it was his smile or his teasing personality, you were sure all women would fall to his feet at the slightest glance.

"Hey kiddo, your dad's working real late tonight so I'm picking you up," he explained, placing the box down and brushing his shoulder length hair out of the way.

Sarah nodded, picking up her book from the desk and shoving it in her backpack before walking over to where the two of you were standing.

"Thank you for looking after Sarah, and Im sorry for being late again,' Tommy said, turning to look at you and Sarah smiled.

She had never seen her uncle look at a woman like that before and she'd seen him look at plenty of women. She smiled to herself, remembering to tell her dad all about Tommy's crush on her teacher.

"Would taking you to dinner one night make it up to you?" He asked and you could feel the heat rising up on your cheeks.

"I'm free Saturday," you said, scribbling your name on a piece of paper and tucking it into his hand, "Call me sometime,"

There was a part of him that worried that you would have rejected him. After the war, he felt like he always had blood on his hands but you didn't know that, you didn't have to fear him.

He always thought that killing people in the war had made some God hate him because he was unlucky, restless, agitated but maybe they were looking down on him if he found you.

He smiled at you, walking out of the room before turning around and looking at your face again, flashing you that signature Miller smile.

"You like my teacher," Sarah said in a sing song tone and he scoffed, opening the door with a smile.

"Get in the car kid," he said, closing the door when she got in before looking back through the window to see that wide smile on your face as you watched him drive off.

You had spent the last fifteen years in a state of fear and anxiety, unsure of what was going on.

The night of the outbreak, you had been visiting a college friend in Oregon when it had happened and in some turn of events, you had made it all the way to a QZ. But you had lost so much in the press including your boyfriend of three years, Tommy Miller.

You had spent fifteen years of your life looking for him, searching every radio station you could but you received nothing and eventually gave up.

There was a feeling in your gut that he was alive, like you could feel him out there suffering as much as you. There were days where you wondered if he was out there and thought of you as well, if he searched for you too.

After the death of your friend, you met a woman on the radio who mentioned that she had built a small safe haven with her father and had invited you there.

Tommy was alive and well and he was on the search for somewhere else to live as well after storming out of the Boston QZ.

He had spent years of his life searching for you as well, desperate to make the world better. The city you were supposed to be in had been destroyed nearly immediately but he still held hope that you were out there somewhere too.

He had done awful things searching for you, he had killed people, joined a militia group and abandoned his brother in some search for redemption.

As he stumbled around the cold forests of Wyoming, rifle tight in his hand as he looked for the nearest settlement, he found a log cabin in the woods.

When he heard the sound of a gun loading and footsteps behind him, he froze, hands held up in surrender. He was spending too much time thinking about the past that he hadn't noticed someone sneaking up behind him.

With a sigh, he turned around, eyes widening when he was met with a familiar face. He knew you in an instant and he felt his heart speed up at the sight of you after all these years.

You had aged but really, you hadn't changed in his eyes. You still had that same glimmer in your eyes and Tommy Miller was still sure that he had never seen a person as beautiful as you.

You were just as shocked as he was as you looked at the man in front of you, your hold on your gun faltering but you tried not to let him see your hands shake.

He had changed too but he still had that same smile on his face that lit up a room. You couldn't help but stare at him, wonder what he had gone through without you, wonder where he got that scar on his temple.

"Tommy Miller, as I live and breathe," you said, trying not to break down at the sight of him.

You had never forgotten him as much as you tried. The sleepless nights in a cold QZ bed, reaching over in the morning to feel an empty space beside you were all worth it to see him here.

He said your name, his voice soft and your breath hitched in your throat. You never thought he'd say your name again and now you never wanted him to stop.

You lowered your gun slowly, watching as he also lowered his raised hands and took a step towards you.

He still had that shoulder length hair that you'd always loved but had grown out a moustache. The crease between his brows was deeper now and you wondered what he had gone through in these years.

He stepped closer like he was being pulled towards you by some invisible string, his hand slowly coming up to rest on your cheek. You leant into the warmth of his hand, unable to take your eyes off of him.

"What are you doing out here?" He asked, a roughness to his voice like he was holding back tears.

You shook your head, hand coming up to rest on top of his to pull it away from your face. As you held his hand, feeling the warmth of his calloused hands against yours for the first time in years, it felt like 2003 all over again.

You didn't care what he had done with his hands, the people he may have killed, the blood that stained the skin because he was still yours and you knew it as you looked into his eyes. His hands were still the ones that had touched you late at night, his hands were still the ones that wiped away your tears when you cried.

"I'm patrolling the area, I live in a settlement nearby," you explained, pursing your lips together as you thought, "You should come back with me,"

He whispered your name again and you stepped closer, "I don't want to impose," he said and you scoffed at the idea.

"When have you ever imposed on anything in my life?" You asked, a teasing smile on your face and for the first time in years, the weight was lifted off of your chest.

You didn't feel the crushing weight of the apocalypse bearing down on you because he was here, the rock who kept you grounded all those years ago was here with you now.

"So, you'll come back with me?" You asked, other hand reaching up and brushing a piece of dirt off of his cheek. You let your hand linger there, let yourself feel the soft stubble of his cheek against you for the first time in years.

He leaned closer to your hand, pressing a chaste kiss to the inside of your wrist and then looking back at you, "How could I ever refuse you?" He said, that same smirk on his face from fifteen years ago.

It was like no time had passed at all as you walked back to the settlement, falling into a comfortable silence about what you had both been up to since you had seen each other last. There were things that both of you didn't want to talk about yet but you understood, there were difficult things in your past too.

As he looked at you, he couldn't help but thank whatever God was looking after him because they knew that he needed to see you again, needed to see you smile at one of his corny jokes just one more time.

There was a comfortable silence and it was like you both clicked back into place immediately, like you were still 27 and 31 again, "So, how long have you been living there?" Tommy asked.

"Around three years," you explained, looking to the side and looking up at him, "I found it after I escaped from my QZ,"

His brows furrowed as he looked at you, wondering why you used that word, escape, "Which one?" He questioned.

He wanted to know everything about you because he felt guilty for not being there with you when the outbreak happened, he should have taken up your offer to go to Oregon with you that day and maybe you'd still be together.

"Kansas City," you explained, looking straight ahead. You heard his breath hitch in his throat at the words and he knew how bad it was.

He knew how awful Kansas City was, he knew what bad things had happened to people there and he could feel that sinking feeling in his stomach as he wondered what prompted you to escape. That's when the guilt sunk back, the guilt of letting that happen to you.

The silence was awkward for a second and you shook your head, trying to change the subject, "What about you? Why are you in the middle of nowhere?" You questioned.

He shook his head, unable to find the words, "I had to leave the Boston QZ," he stated.

You recognised that guilt ridden tone from when he would talk about things from the war and you didn't want to push him on it. Everyone had to find a way to survive in this new world and you weren't innocent either.

"I guess we've both done some bad things in the last fifteen years," you said, trying to lighten the mood.

There was a slight smile on his face as he looked at you, "I guess so," he said.

"How's Joel and Sarah?" You asked. It was a question that had been burning on your chest since you saw him alone.

His silence made your heart sink in your chest, "Joel hates me and Sarah, she's," he explained, his voice trailing off at the end at that was answer enough for you.

You took a deep breath, shaking your head as you thought about what had happened to her but you didn't want to think too much about it, think about that little girl being victim to this new world.

"I'm sorry Tommy," you said, your hand coming down to grab his and squeeze it slightly in reassurance.

He hadn't had someone look out for him like you had ever since the outbreak, had someone touch him like that and just know him since 2003. Just to feel your touch against his made shivers run down his spine.

Tommy look over at you, squeezing your hand back, "He was never the same after that, never quite as human," he explained and you thought about that joyful man you knew becoming reclusive and lonely, "How have you been?"

"Fine, I taught at a Fedra school for a while so," you said, chuckling to yourself as you thought about how absurd it was. You both knew how awful the Fedra schools were, how they indoctrinated people but you wanted to clear up any assumptions he had of you, "I know, pretty awful of me but I had to do what I had to do to survive. I now teach local kids,"

"You were always the best teacher," he said with a smile, letting go of your hand and brushing his shoulder length hair back.

The rest of the walk was in comfortable conversation, talking about the lighter aspects of living in a post-outbreak world but you knew that the two of you were getting along perfectly like you never spent any time apart.

When you got to the settlement, Tommy looked around at the scene. There were houses and buildings sprawled everywhere and he could feel the familiar burning of tears behind his eyes as he looked around. This was meant to be his future, the perfect little town, the nice house and the family. This was meant to be his future with you.

You could see that he was nervous and you leaned closer to him, "Don't worry, I'm sure they'll all like you," you reassured as you walked towards Maria.

She called your name, pulling you in for a hug before turning to look at the man beside you, "And who's your friend,"

"This is Tommy Miller," you said and you noticed Maria's eyebrows raised as her interest was piqued.

"The Tommy Miller? I've heard a lot about you," she said, pulling the man into a hug before letting him go when she felt him tense up, "Sorry, I'm a bit of a hugger,"

"Do you have any place for him to stay?" You asked, looking around the estate.

"We don't have any other houses available, the roofs collapsed during the snow storm last month," Maria explained and you could see the way Tommy's shoulders slumped in disappointment.

"He could stay with me," you announced, basically blurting the idea out and the two adults turned to look at you, "I have a couch, he could stay with me until there's room,"

He hesitated, stepping back slightly, "I don't want t-" he started to say and you cut him off.

"If you say you don't want to impose Tommy Miller I swear to God," you said, watching the smile reappear on his face. You really hadn't changed over the years and that was the thing that made him smile.

"Perfect, we will get you clothes and you can get yourself set up while we look for some jobs for you to do, I'm sure our friend won't mind sharing patrol shifts with you," Maria said with a smile.

"So, you've talked about me?" He asked teasingly and you turned to him, face burning as you hit him on the shoulder.

"Shut up," you said trying to hide the blush raising to your cheeks as you walked away with him, a small laugh escaping him.

She had never seen you so willing to take someone onto your home before so as she watched the two of you walk away, she knew he was someone special.

"So, this is my place," you said, fumbling around with your keys in your pocket before you opened the door, "Go on in, you can have a shower if you want,"

He looked around in awe at it all. It was a real house, not some dodgy apartment in a QZ. It had a makeshift calendar and blankets and logs piled up near a fireplace.

"It's not much I know bu-" you started to say but he cut you off, stepping closer to you.

"It's amazing doll, absolutely amazing," he said, a smile on his face as he looked around, "Now where's that shower?"

You smiled, pointing him in the right direction and watching as he rushed off like a little kid on Christmas.

You sat on your bed as you listened to the sound of the water from the shower, fiddling with your hands anxiously. It was strange to have someone in your house after living alone for so long but it was nice that it was Tommy.

You two had dated for three years before that day and in those years you had grown as close as two people could and you had grieved losing him but now he was here.

It was strange to think that after fifteen years apart he was here in your house and it was like no time had passed at all even though so many things had changed.

When he had gotten changed, he walked out, towel still trying to dry his hair. You smiled at the sight of him and all the memories came flooding back, of him running through the rain, of him running you baths on nights when teaching got too much.

Your breath hitched in your throat as you watched him brush his wet hair back and you had to pinch yourself to convince yourself that it wasn't another dream.

"You'll be staying on my couch," you said, walking him through the hallway, "Its not as comfy as it looks but I'll try and get a pull out bed in the morning,"

He nodded, "Thank you, for letting me stay with you,' He said and you smiled at him.

"It's okay, call me if you need anything," you said, leaning against the doorframe.

"I will, night," he said and you smiled at him, repeating the sentiment before walking away.

You woke up in the middle of the night when you heard a yell and a bang and jumped up, hand on your gun as you walked through the hallway slowly.

Your finger was solid on the trigger and when you entered the living room, you saw Tommy sitting there, head in his hands and the lamp fallen on the floor in front of him.

When he heard the creak of the floorboard, his head whipped around to look at you and when he looked at you, your heart dropped.

He had tears in his eyes and sweat on his brow and he looked away from you almost like he was ashamed of what he looked like.

Slowly and hesitantly, you walked over to him and sat down next to him. You reached up, hand coming up to rest on his shoulders and he flinched slightly at your touch.

You knelt down in front of him, placing a hand under his chin to bring his face up so he was looking at you.

"Bad dream?" You asked and he brushed the tears away quickly before looking back at you.

You knew how to look after him, you had held him as he cried in the night after nightmares from his time in the war and you jumped right back into that mode, your hand coming up tor rest against his cheek, brushing a stray tear away.

"I've got you, I'm here," you promised.

There was a part of him that relished in your touch and the fact that you remembered all of this after so long but also a part that wished that nothing bad had ever happened to the world and to you two.

He allowed himself to open his eyes and look at you because you weren't a dream. He had been having nightmares of your death since 2003 and now you were here and he was allowing himself to realise that you were real, that you were here with him and that it was your touch against his skin.

He had always dreamed of your bloody hands begging for him to help, bloodying his clothes and his skin but as the pad of your thumb brushed against his cheekbone, he knew it was all okay.

"Just breathe," you said and he did, following your breath before managing to shake off the fear.

"I haven't had this one in a while," he said and you nodded. You didn't want to push him because bad things had happened to both of you. He looked down at you, your faces close together.

"It was Sarah, I haven't dreamed about her death in so long," he said and you nodded, standing up and offering your hand to him.

"How about you come stay with me for a bit, my beds comfier than yours," you offered, a slight smile on his face as he looked at you.

"You sure?" He questioned.

"You're not a burden Tommy Miller, you never have been," you said and he nodded, grabbing your hand and letting him pull you up.

You brushed one of his curls out of his face before leading him to your room. As you looked back at him, he was just as beautiful as the day you two left one another.

You two settled down in the bed, the blankets draped over both of you and it felt like you were back in his and Joel's house, holding each other in the night.

"Do you want to talk about it?" You asked, the two of you sitting there comfortably.

He shook his head. One day he would explain what happened to you but right now he didn't want to relive Sarah's death, he didn't want to see his niece lying there, he didn't want to have to rip Joel away from her body again..

"Could I just, hold you for a bit?" He asked, hesitant that you would refuse or see it as him crossing some line.

You nodded and as he wrapped his arms around you, finding some sort of comfort in your arms, you smiled to yourself.

"I've missed you," you whispered in the dark, unsure what else to say. How do you verbalise that the last fifteen years had been hell without him and that now that you were with him again, the voices in your head had all been silenced?

"I missed you too Doll," he said, pressing a kiss against the exposed skin of your shoulder, "I'm not letting you go ever again,"

"You're going to be wishing you'd never found me," you joked and you could feel his smile against your shoulder before he laughed.

When you heard him laugh, it was the first time in fifteen years that you had been completely at peace and a smile came to your face at the sound.

You turned around in his grip, feeling his arms tighten around your waist as you reached a hand up to gently caress his face.

Both of your hands were bloody from what you'd done to survive, from what you'd done to get to one another but here with him in your arms, you didn't regret a thing. For once there was no weight pushing you down and you were free to love.

"You're the love of my life Tommy Miller," you said and he could feel the tears welling up in his eyes.

He kissed you at that moment, the first kiss you'd had in all that time apart, and as he kissed you it felt like nothing could ruin your lives at all.

The guilt that Tommy had felt all these years were washed away and he didn't allow himself to get wrapped up in the idea that he deserved to be punished, that he had sinned. Because if being a sinner had lead him to this, to you, then he wished everyone to be sinners and to be as lucky as he was.

He pulled away, breath hot against yours and you leaned in again to press another kiss to his lips, almost like you craved it after all this time.

"I love you too Doll, never a moment where I didn't," he said and you leaned your head against his chest, allowing yourself to just be in the moment for once.

As you fell asleep, his arms wrapped around you, it was the best that you had slept since the day you two had left each other and you knew that you weren't going to let him go again.

[hanbindans]

zb1 as love languages <3

word count: 1.6k (ca 200 each) a/n: For those of you who aren't familiar with the 5 love languages (or if you need a quick reminder), here they are: - words of affirmation - gift giving - quality time - physical touch - acts of service Of course people can express love through all these different things, but I picked 2 languages for each member that I feel like they display more often. And obviously I don't know them irl so this is all my personal opinion :) Also I'm sorry if it's 1. Messy in terms of writing, I have finals and edited it little by little, and if it's 2. A bit repetitive lol 😭 I didn't make them similar on purpose but some love languages show up in a lot of members. Hope you enjoy!!

jiwoong

quality time I think he has a lot of affection in his body- he's just not an overtly affectionate person. The most common way he shows love is by sticking to other people's side and agreeing to everything they say they want to do. He might not always talk much or express his feelings that well, but spending time with another person doing absolutely nothing is him showing that he cares and likes to spend time together. It's not about doing a bunch of things to show his love, it's just about the fact that he's choosing to spend his time with you because he likes you. words of affirmation It doesn't even have to be compliments necessarily- he just wants to be appreciated for doing/helping out with things. Like he knows that he has to do the dishes, he knows he has to pack Yujin's lunchbox, but he still wants a little recognition for actually doing it, you know?? Just a "thank you" goes a long way with him because it's still recognising his efforts. He's not as good at expressing love verbally himself, but I think it would naturally slip out once in a while. And because he's just giving a compliment from out of nowhere, it feels even more sincere when he says it.

hanbin

physical touch I think he's a very expressive person in general and in many different ways- but he just can't help physical touch. It comes naturally to him, like his happiness runs over a little sometimes. You know when you see an animal so cute you have this primal instinct to squish them in your hands?? That's Hanbin. It's just instinct at this point. Like an arm around the shoulder, using each other as pillows, giving head pats?? That's just what you do with the people you love in Hanbin's mind. He just wants his warm hugs, what can I say. words of affirmation I just feel like he really likes receiving compliments, he easily becomes so giggly and bashful whenever someone praises him. He knows that he's talented and kind and all that, but he also wants to hear it sometimes as a little reassurance. I think he expresses love through words of affirmation too- he has shown that he's very encouraging to other people and he often does that through words. I just think verbally expressing feelings comes very naturally to him.

zhang hao

acts of service He kind of does this instinctively, especially because he often ends up being the older friend. Fixing other people's hair, organising messy spaces, stuff like that are things he does regularly. But I think because he's the one usually doing it, he would LOVE if people he loves do this back to him. Anything that makes his life easier is so appreciated- even just fetching his water bottle for him so he doesn't have to get up from his seat would make him so thankful. The mom friends want to get pampered sometimes too :)) words of affirmation This one doesn't come as naturally to him I think, but that just makes his compliments even more sincere and comforting when he does say them. He's a good speaker and words his feelings very well, so I think that when he's asked to or in a certain mood, he's able to express love and give praise in a very genuine way. He's pretty honest and never hands out compliments for no reason- so when he does give compliments you know he genuinely means it.

matthew

quality time For him it's just about committing to spending time together as reassurance that "hey. I like you and I want to hang out with you". I think he would happily commit to spending a whole free day together just roaming around the city, window shopping and sipping on drinks. It's really just about showing that he likes the other person enough to stand them for a whole day (lol). Even for receiving love I think quality time would be a big one for him. He wants to spend time with people he loves, so he wants them to want to spend time with him back. Especially with more introverted people, I think he would really appreciate it and recognise it as a sign of love. physical touch This is kind of related to the first one; like it's more about being physically close rather than being cuddly or having skin to skin contact. It's very casual when he's displaying it, like reaching to put a hand on someone's knee/shoulder when they say something that makes him laugh, or just sitting right next to each other. It's just normally not super intense with him. That being said: he won't say no if other people initiate other types of physical affection (like hello/goodbye hugs), and he DOES want his warm hugs every once in a while :)

taerae

physical touch Similar to Matthew, it's not even full on hugs or linking arms walking around the city- it's just little touches when he's not thinking about it. When he's laughing he will instinctively reach for someone's shoulder, when someone is feeling down he will give a reassuring pat on their knee. He's touchy but in a subtle and careful way. For receiving love I think he'd absolutely, 100% need to be shown love through physical touch. He really wants a hello- and goodbye-hug whenever he meets someone up, and I think he would find it difficult if other people weren't physically affectionate back (he would come to understand though!). Just likes his hugs, man. quality time We know that he is actually very sociable and likes hanging out and talking to people in general- but I think with people he loves, he would really go out of his way to make time for them. I think he would try to text or call a lot if he doesn't see them often, and would put in a lot of effort into starting conversations and making plans with people. For him it's just really important to keep in contact and spend time together for him to feel like the relationship is in a good place.

ricky

quality time Everything I see related to him is about gift giving, but I honestly don't see it that much- I think he's more likely to show love through quality time. He's an extroverted introvert and likes to just casually hang out, so spending time together is the most natural way for him to show that he thinks you're cool. He also really wants reassurance that he's liked back in this way, and he would have a hard time feeling close to someone if they don't spend time together doing things (please agree to hang out with him it makes him feel loved <3) words of affirmation Honestly? I don't have a whole lot of arguments for this one, except have you seen him receiving a compliment?? He easily becomes shy and a little giggly when receiving praise- especially if it's related to skills and things he's good at- like singing, dancing, and drawing. I don't feel like he is the verbally affectionate type himself, at least not naturally, so he would maybe struggle to reciprocate love with words. It would become easier for him with time and in certain situations. But please compliment him lots and he will love you forever- he just physically melts at any type of compliment he gets.

gyubin

physical touch To the surprise of absolutely no one. Some of the other guys with this love language are more subtle with it, but Gyubin WILL cling to people like a koala if he wants to. A lot of pinching cheeks, hugging, linking arms together, stuff like that. Just a very handsy person with people he likes. I feel like if he was on the receiving end it would be more toned down (he's too cool to have his cheeks pinched back), but he does want his hugs to be reciprocated and for his hand to be held sometimes. Would be kind of shy about it though. gift giving This is based on the fact that he's apparently the one who is giving out all those snacks to the yuehuaz; if you see them walking around with plastic baggies of snacks, they probably got them from Gyubin :') I think seeing other people happy because of a gift makes him happy too, so aside from casual small gifts I could see him putting a lot of effort into birthday gifts as well to make them special and memorable. He would also love receiving gifts himself- even the smallest things like getting him his favourite drink or picking him a flower from the sidewalk. Makes him giggle.

gunwook

acts of service Can and will make himself helpful in any way he can. Fetches things. Carries things. Organises things. Puts things away. Takes things out. Very much a "fixer" type of person in that way, so I think his most natural way to show love would be by trying to make other people's lives easier. He wants to receive love in this way too I think- just as long as you're not making him stop doing things. Like if he's trying to be helpful- let him do the thing and be helpful. Then when he's done you can organise his desk for him and he will be all <<333 back. Let him feel like he's of use, but also take care of him back a little. words of affirmation Ties in a little with the first one; he's a man of many hats and is pretty busy almost always, and honestly just wants to be reassured that he's doing a good job. Tell him he's cool and good at what he does. He will get shy and he will not accept the compliment, but deep down he still wants to hear them. Also just lives for compliments in general- like "yeah, you have a great personality!! I love you!!!!" will have him on the floor in giggles. I think he'd be less good at expressing love in this language but it's definitely his favourite way to receive love.

[noddytheornithopod]

Some more in-depth Tales of the Empire thoughts/questions

This is really nerdy and nitpicky of me to ask, but... what is Barriss' Inquisitor name? I can't help but wanna know. Then again, we don't know Marrok's name either, and also what the fuck up is with bird man (who until confirmed otherwise I'm treating as the the Sixth Brother being an edgelord dressing as a plague doctor, I will insist the only reason they aren't calling him Sixth Brother is because then the Lucasfilm Story Group would have to admit Tales of the Jedi overwrote published material in significant ways, and then they'd get more angry nerds than they already have to deal with, lol).

I do kind of wish we leaned a bit more into Barriss' established relationships a bit, Luminara Unduli is indirectly mentioned in the last short, and Barriss mentions having a "old friend" who would know more about the Imperials hunting after kids which I HAVE to imagine is Ahsoka... but we don't really explore these. Like, if she DID reconnect with Ahsoka, I kind of wish we got to see that? I do understand why Luminara didn't appear, with Barriss' characterisation I don't think she could've gone through with killing her if they had a test, but still. I don't know if we needed to see her react to her death, but part of me is curious about that anyway. I will say she seemed to sense something when Vader entered the room, though. Did she sense a familiar presence there? Also surprised they didn't even throw in a small nod to how the Grand Inquisitor became what he was because he heard Barriss' speech and that suddenly validated everything he thought already (if you follow the comics anyway). Not even a simple "pleased to see you as a candidate after your rousing speech" line (which was given to... see below). I wouldn't have called this necessary for the story itself, but I always found it annoying that we have to go off on so much of GI's backstory based on paratext instead of actual stories. Also, still don't know his original name even after a decade, RIP.

On a similar note, I'm not really sure how I feel about Lyn Rakish? Specifically, how her relationship was the central one to Barriss' here. I'm not opposed to Barriss knowing more people, it even helps make these characters' lives feel bigger, but I do kind of feel like there's stuff here that would be nice to know. Like, even when Lyn enters her cell, Barriss recognises her, and they way they interact throughout the shorts implies some kind of connection. Especially since...

...her stabbing Barriss was what made her snap out of being an Inquisitor. Okay, I'm not really sure how to feel about this. I love where Barriss ends up, but also... I'm not really sure how I feel about dying? If she's even dead? The scene was clearly mirroring the second short, where Barriss wanted to save that other Jedi, and nothing suggested that she never got to save her (I mean, she's known as "the healer" next short for crying out loud, also hey nice Legends callback), so even if Barriss looks far more dead, there is that part of me still in denial, lol. But thing is, it's kinda like they went "this is actually about Lyn, not Barriss". Sure, Barriss reclaimed her old self and her development was arguably "complete" in that sense, but that doesn't always have to mean death? Meanwhile, we only really get to know Lyn through these shorts, and while I'm very pro-villain redemption, I'm not sure if doing this through three shorts was enough to do it justice. So I'm kinda feeling like being asked to feel for a character finally returning to the light because she maybe killed her sorta protege while barely knowing anything about their actual relationship on a personal level is kinda eh.

That's something I felt in general. Maybe I'm just greedy, but I really wanted MORE of Barriss' story. Like, at least make it clear why Lyn is someone important in her life besides giving her a literal get out of jail card.

With Fortress Inquisitorius, I do think it's interesting they show it being built, but also not really alluding to how the headquarters is apparently on Coruscant, especially with Vader's throne and all. I don't think there's any real contradictions though, the Inquisitorius probably had several bases (I wonder if Stygeon Prime in Rebels was another?), and the main one just became Fortress Inquisitorius when Vader was given reign over the Mustafar System and therefore Nur, where FI is located.

Barriss' line about how she felt like she was lied to and deceived is actually pretty clever, because its placement is almost like an admission she was wrong. She's still clinging to the Inquisitorius by justifying it as "the Jedi failed because of their hubris, they deserved it, we're here to bring peace and order" but her heart was clearly never in it. Despite feeling like the Jedi betrayed their principles, she actually still followed them. In a way, I think it even kind of recontextualises the Temple Bombing, because it feels more like Barriss being panicked and desperate, basically having a breakdown. She did go to the Dark Side, but with the kind of person she is, those emotions aren't natural to her. We see she can certainly still go there, that other former Jedi basically saying "screw you, all for me" certainly evoked betrayal which would evoke those dark emotions, and of course she goes along with the Inquisitorius basically to survive, aka out of fear, and as mentioned justifying it to herself by saying this is justice for how the Jedi "fell" even if she's clearly hypocritical in that regard. We then see in the final short she's reconciled her past with the Jedi, talking fondly of her time as one, and regretting her turning to the Dark Side.

Huh, just noticed the Jedi is referred to with they/them pronouns.

Now for the other stuff

I don't have as much to say about Morgan, but I will say that Bo-Katan receiving the distress call kinda cleared up a contrivance in The Mandalorian for me. I was like "okay sure, even IF Bo-Katan still was in contact with Ahsoka, how would she know exactly where she is at this moment? what if she went off somewhere else?" But then this episode makes it clear Bo received the call, and thus would've figured out what was going on, and then actually tell Ahsoka to go to Corvus.

I hope the Eli Vanto fans are okay, especially since Pellaeon was shown as Thrawn's number 2 in the short. What I will say is - this was just a glimpse of one mission, this isn't retconning Eli out of existence. Thrawn and Eli wouldn't have been together on every single mission.

Morgan was the original person to pitch the TIE Defender? Huh, that is certainly a very random piece of lore. Also, surprised there's still Venator Star Destroyers instead of all Imperial Is at this point.

When Thrawn asks her the real reason she wants the Empire's favour and admits it's revenge, he accepts. He also shows interest in the Nightsisters even here. I do wonder if what made him receptive was he could kind of empathise on some level, if the threat of the Grysk made him open to Morgan's desire to avenge her sisters.

Mountain Clan appears in visual media, cool. Now people know there's even more witches on Dathomir. With the new lore about the Nightsisters, I do wonder if the other clans also have extragalactic origins in Peridea, or if they developed independently and it's specifically the Nightsister sect that was from there. Either way, it seems like the Nightsisters were the biggest and most powerful, apparently Talzin even united many witch clans. Also, I wonder if Morgan and her mother were originally from another clan but moved to the Nightsisters? Because obviously they look pretty different from the standard Nightsisters. Also was interesting to see the architecture resemble what we see in Jedi: Fallen Order, so that was cool.

Also thought it was a cool touch that the Separatists weren't done killing everyone on Dathomir. We only see the initial battle in one location in Massacre from The Clone Wars, but it does help make the genocide feel bigger, even showing that even other non-Nightsister clans weren't entirely safe. IDK if this makes the droid gunships appear earlier than implied to be their creation in TCW Season 5 (then again, chronologically the Dathomir and Onderon arcs are back to back), but also Grievous didn't have a cape in massacre, which is the REAL crime of this short. Hashtag remove his cape!!!!!!!!!!

[k-looking-glass-house]

Disorder up! Mystery menu

I am not entering the event!!! (I love it Daisy!!! But I have no peticular setting or oc to contribute!)

I just wanted to share this amazing fan event with some "fake" animation lol! And promote those sprite which absolutely don't belong to me!!!! Congrates Daisy please!!!!

Hope that's ok.....

All those wonderful sprite edits were made by @twst-the-night-away Go check it, it's awesome!!! So much fun to have and get, and the writing stuff is soooo good!!!

Story

Real K goes to Old Sage Diner to get her "diabolo grenadine" drink only avaibable there, without knowing of the last incident! Noone knew she actually regulary goes here as her social skills is near 0, and the NRC students were shocked to see her outside the Mystery's S shop. She pout and told them (actually Ace) that's one of the reason he still didn't ask "you/Yuu(sona)" out! Causing some light trouble again and Cater handling the situation with her Diabolo Grenadine, and deep dark choco tarte! Sebek scolded Ace as "real K" is waka-sama's official fanclub member, and Epel went along as it's rude to not recognize someone's makeup....making him slightly worried he was able to do so.

random info:

Real K is Sebek second member of Waka-sama's fanclub (they have a good relation ship based on their love for Maleficent/Malleus).

Epel recognised instantly her sparkly makeup, as Vil uses the same brand.

Ca-kun is in the "Bambi club" with Idia and real K, as they get sleep deprived sharing their depressed mood and special food or activities they love!

Ace is her looong so looonnngggg little lost baby brother in a twisted disney fandom! He asked her some advice in love and get glued when he wants to be spoiled...He is a very spoiled yet gentle brat.

Diabolo grenadine is a french drink from 20/30's! Similar to lemonade but very soft and light in sugar!

Well go go go!!

Please go check Daisy's event!! And everyone entry!!

[galactic-glamour-girl-posts]

And now, an essay about Dot Warner because I have nothing better to do

In the series bible for Animaniacs, Dot is described as:

"everything that all animated female characters have never been"

Was that true at the time?

I think so, and Here's Why

Before I begin, I'd like to mention this is mostly gonna revolve around western animation...and by "western" I mean "not anime". Okay? OK.

Part 1 : Her design

I'll start by comparing Dot's design to the design of many other female animal cartoon characters that came before her, because a lot of them are...not great. For context, Animaniacs (and therefore Dot herself) debuted in 1993. At the time (and after) when it came to animal cartoon characters, guys would often be designed as "the default" or "the norm", and girls would be given extra visual signifiers to make it clear that they are, in fact, girls. Stuff like human-like hair, and/or really long eyelashes, and/or human-like body parts such as hips and breasts so they needed to be fully clothed, and/or smaller noses and mouths than the guys to make them look "cuter", and/or permanent makeup, etc.

Let's take The Chipettes for example:

They barely look like chipmunks! They're basically human girls with chipmunk noses! Their-I guess it's probably fur-looks pale enough to pass as white skin, they have human lips, even human hair. Their hair doesn't even match their "fur" colour, which makes it look like skin even more. I know it's a cartoon, I don't expect them to resemble real chipmunks completely, but I should still be able to recognise them as chipmunks, shouldn't I? Just look at them compared to the boys, it's jarring:

Although at least in their case, both the guys and girls are in full outfits rather than just the girls.

Gadget's probably another one of the best examples (pre-1993) of what I'm talking about (she has human hair and a more human-like body and hence needs a full outfit, meanwhile Chip and Dale do not), but Toodles is also a pretty good example (she has smaller, more human hands than Tom's, permanent makeup, really long eyelashes, and her figure even more human than Tom's). Even if they weren't in full outfits they usually were made to look more human:

Female animals were constantly given more human attributes than the guys, usually just to make them look "prettier". Honestly a lot of female animal characters are still designed this way.

Meanwhile guys can look as cartoony as possible and go around in half-complete outfits no problem, because they were drawn to be funny talking animals, not conventionally attractive human/animal hybrids:

Then in some cases they'd just take one of the pre-existing male characters, add a bow or skirt or eyelashes or something, and BOOM! A "new" character:

Yeah they have no human hair and have cartoony proportions, just like the guys...but they didn't have to make them look just like the guys to do that. I prefer these over the previous examples but...actually creative designs would be nice.

Now let's look at Dot:

See this? This is nice.

She has no human hair (the hair on her head is just more of her fur), no permanent makeup, no eyelashes needed to signify "she's the girl" (she's only drawn with eyelashes for comedic effect or when she's trying to look extra cute), no curves or hips, and isn't fully clothed and goes around with no shirt like Yakko, because she's a funny talking animal and should look like one, not a human girl.

Now let's compare her to her brothers:

She's a different height, has no whiskers, a slightly different head shape, and has longer but not human-like hair. She looks similar enough to look related to them, but she's not just Yakko or Wakko in a skirt.

For this section I'm mostly just talking about animated animal characters, but I also want to mention that even with human characters male leads often were allowed to look round or blocky or basically any body type, and didn't have to look conventionally attractive; but female leads were almost never designed to look as cartoony, and were often drawn to look as conventionally attractive or cute as possible by being given more (even if just slightly) realistic proportions, and were usually of the same body type.

Now, the three human examples I showed aren't actually bad designs. Honestly, on their own, they're good designs! But they're once again showing that there was a clear difference regarding how guys were drawn vs how girls were drawn.

Dot's cute but they don't draw her anymore realistically than they do her brothers nor is her cuteness over-exaggerated by giving her more human attributes than necessary to make her as conventionally pretty as possible. She's anthropomorphic, but no more so than her brothers.

Part 2 : Her personality

Now, there were of female leads before Dot where the tropes I mentioned don't apply and whose designs are unique, like for example Olive Oyl, who's allowed to look wacky (stick thin and not curvy, lanky with noodle arms, circular head, large hands and feet) and Penelope Pussycat, who's allowed to look like an anthropomorphic, but still cartoony cat and not too human. So what I talked about before wasn't the case every time.

But then you have to consider their personalities (or sometimes, lack thereof).

Many animated female leads were flat characters compared to the male leads, often because they fell under cliché tropes.

Some of the most prominent being: the token love interest, the eye candy, the damsel in distress, or the sensible one because "girl", who would often mostly just exist to set up punchlines the male characters would deliver.

Of course this didn't apply to every animated female lead, especially not by the early 90's, but it was still the norm.

Even Babs Bunny, who predates and is similar to Dot whilst being a good character in her own right, falls under the token love interest trope (also her design is basically a pink Buster in bows, although in her case that was intentional given that their "No relation" catchphrase was meant to poke fun at the "male and female love interests look and are even named suspiciously similarly" trope, so for her it works). Basically in some cases they'd just staple these tropes onto decent characters who didn't really need them.

However, Dot doesn't fall under any of these categories. She's the younger sister so obviously she couldn't be a love interest, I just went over the fact that she wasn't designed to be eye candy, just cute but not in an over-exaggerated way, and she wasn't just cute to look appealing. Her cuteness benefited her character; either by the shock value of seeing a cute little girl swear or scare Satan or something like that, or by Dot using her cuteness fool foes (or at least make them look bad). She could hold her own in any situation and although both her and her brothers were captured a few times on the show, they escaped pretty easily each time. The one time she alone got kidnapped she basically saved herself, so I wouldn't count her as a damsel in distress because it never really feels like she's in real danger; the audience knows she's got this.

Most of all, she was definitely not the sensible one of the group. Sure she'd get annoyed when Yakko and Wakko did the Hello Nurse bit, but she was just as bad, and would react the same way whenever she came across a cute guy. She was of course written this way on purpose, she is very bit as wacky and silly and chaotic as her brothers. It didn't matter that she was the "cute one", she would go off-model if it meant she could make a funnier face. She'd gladly join in on tormenting their "special friends", without worrying about if their feelings got hurt or preaching that they should all try to get along. She'd gladly indulge in excessive violence. She'd gladly mess about and wreak havoc just as much as her brothers. I'm all for smart female characters (Dot is smart after all), but in a main group of guys and at least one girl, a girl doesn't have to be the sensible one every time.

It's no secret that Dot was written to be feminine. At the time, characters that were written to be very feminine often were written to fit within gender norms, meaning many were: passive, demure, soft-spoken, gentle, wide-eyed and innocent, and/or sensitive, etc; or at the very least more so than the masculine characters.

But Dot just wasn't any of those things. She was assertive, confident and acerbic, loud and outspoken, often acted more violent and angry then her brothers, witty, is as lustful and dirty-minded as her brothers, and doesn't get her feelings hurt easily and will instead pretend to be extremely upset/hurt for sympathy or for dramatic effect.

Before and around about the time of Dot's debut, if animated female leads were given personalities that broke many gender norms (and that already wasn't too common), they'd usually be tomboys. Now let me be clear, there is nothing wrong with tomboys. They're just as valid as girly girls and deserve to be and should be depicted in a positive light in animation, but this perpetuated the idea that to be tough and/or wacky, you had to be masculine, which just isn't true.

Dot was wacky and tough but still feminine and was by no means a tomboy, and I think that's important! She liked to look pretty, she liked pink and dresses and flowers, but she also made silly faces, liked to play rough and was more than willing to beat the living daylights out of someone who was asking for it.

Female characters in cartoons often either had decent personalities but their designs were lacklustre, or vice versa. Sometimes both their designs and personalities were lacklustre. Sometimes neither was a problem but their character was held back by having some trope forced onto them because "girl". Dot was a (at the time) rare case of none being the case whilst not having to sacrifice her femininity to be wild and strong.

Part 3 : Her role

By 1993, even if a female character had a good and unique design that didn't come with double standards and had a well-written personality that didn't submit to too many gender stereotypes, they were often:

A - An antagonist

I'm not saying these characters aren't bad people, but a lot of the time when we did get a fun female character, she was a villain.

Also (for this next point I'm not really talking about the three examples above), sometimes they were the only female characters in their show/movie/etc to go against gender stereotypes, which just perpetuates the idea that female characters breaking gender norms is wrong.

B - Essentially a clone of a male character

They'd act exactly like one of the male leads with minimal personality differences (those differences usually being more gender stereotypes) between the two, if there were any; again perpetuating the idea you had to be masculine to be wacky and/or tough.

Basically a distaff counterpart, or a half-identical twin, stuff like that.

C - Less important

Even when we did get a well-written, well designed female animated character who didn't fall under tropes associated with gender stereotypes, chances were she'd be a side character, or at the very least perceived as less important than the male leads.

I'll just use one example for this section since it's a lot more broad in terms of scope; Granny from Looney Tunes. She's one of the most well known female Looney Tunes characters, but even she was never really the "star" of the cartoons she was in. They're not called "Sylvester, Tweety, and Granny" cartoons, they're called "Sylvester and Tweety" cartoons. Even the show that was about Granny solving mysteries, what was it called?

But Dot doesn't fall under any of these categories. She's not a side character, she's not even a tritagonist, she's a protagonist. Yakko may have been the leader, but all the Warners acted as a unit and were presented as just important as each other. We call them "Yakko, Wakko and Dot", "The Warner Brothers, and the Warner Sister", etc.

I've already mentioned that's she's not designed as a clone of Yakko or Wakko, but she also had a distinct personality. She was more anger-prone than Yakko, she was wittier than Wakko, and she had a way bigger ego than both of them combined!

Dot's definitely not an antagonist, she wasn't a saint and she may have been chaotic, but you're meant to root for her. The people she and her brothers would go up against in their cartoons were often jerks, bullies, pompous, etc. Meanwhile the Warners had a strong sense of justice and morality. They weren't malicious (to people who didn't bother them at least), they just liked acting silly. When viewers saw Dot unapologetically being herself without conforming completely to how society thinks a cute little girl should act like, they weren't meant to hate her or love to hate her or anything like that, they were just meant to like her and laugh.

Part 4 : Today

There will probably always be room for improvement when it comes to female representation in cartoons, I mean, a lot of the tropes I mentioned are still commonly used (although I must stress that not all of them are inherently bad). However, it's better today than it was back then. We've gotten tons of well designed female leads over the past 30 years with three-dimensional personalities, ones who are gender non-conforming but still heroic, or who are strong but still feminine, or who are allowed to look and act as wacky as the guys on their show (if not more so), you get the idea.

I'm not saying Dot is the first good animated female character (or that her character was handled perfectly in the original Animaniacs-it wasn't), we all know that's not true, but she defied many tropes that so many animated female characters before her fell under, through her design, personality AND role. Notice that a lot of other animated female leads that also do that (both the examples I gave and any extra ones that you can think of) most likely debuted after Dot did.

To be 100% honest, you could argue that, even as of 1993 (or I guess 1991 considering that's when the series bible was written), describing Dot as "everything that all animated female characters have never been" is debatable, but I do think there was some truth to that statement at the time. I can't say for sure that she was a trend setter when it came to how girls in cartoons were handled, but I'll always appreciate the fact that her character turned out the way it did in spite of when she was created.

[drbased]

I am sickened by your symbolic state posts because at the moment I’m still living at home, a place that is generally unpleasant for me. I’ve been living in a near permanent state of maladaptive daydreaming since I was a young teenager and its only this year, with moving out on the horizon, that I’m trying to move from my head into reality again. It’s difficult and I don’t exactly know how to live 😂 like with your video game post especially. I don’t know how to live in the moment by following urges. I think: I want to write later, but I don’t plan what I’m to write. Instead of following the urge to do one certain thing I seek out a mindset for the future and then never get around to it. I’ve bought countless items, like necklaces with symbols or woven bracelets, allways promisimg myself that they will be special and lifechanging only for them to be empty. How do I get out of this? How do I stop myself from turning my life into feeings instead of actions?

(if you’ve given a similar answer I apologise. I’m scrolling through your symbolic state tag rn)

So, I've been having a hard time responding to this one. I still haven't been able to finish this post in a way I'm happy with but I really do want to respond so I'm going to have to keep my answer short and hope that I can produce something more valuable at a later date. But anon, your message has really stuck with me. Here's the answer I started writing some time ago:

How do I stop myself from turning my life into feelings instead of actions?

People keep summing this stuff up better than I can and it's driving me slightly insane; all younger me wanted was to be Known and now I have random anonymous strangers I've never met reaching into my fucking Soul like how is this possible. first the yearning anon and now this.

So the Bad, Irresponsible answer is to do what I did, which is sit in a room and hotbox it and ask myself questions and wait till my brain answers them. Weed is what allowed me to blow this whole thing wide open for me. But now I don't do weed anymore I can say that you achieve Inner Peace(TM) the 'hard' way just as well - but dear god with or without drugs this IS A PROCESS. And it HAS to be a process, because there is only process, no destination. After all, there is no 'you' in the future - there is only the reality of now, and the reality of 'you' in the now, and that is what is awe-inspiring and beautiful.

The entire process of re-engaging with reality has so many interconnected parts and requires so much analogy and explanation that I have been seriously considering writing a book about it. I struggle with PDA (pathological demand avoidance), and I believe it and depression are all wrapped up in my symbolic mindset. But since I don't have any background in clinical psychology I would feel like a hack writing a self-help book. So I'm probably going to end up talking about it here, instead. And maybe one day collate it all into some sort of book or series of essays.

The core of all of this is acceptance. Defining acceptance is hard; I best describe it as wanting to, say, move your arm - the moment you've wanted it sufficiently, the moment it has happened. There is minimal causal relationship between wanting it and it happening - sufficient want becomes action, necessarily. That sufficient want becomes action is something I learned to recognise during this process - the symbolic mindset is disengaging with the mundane reality of cause-and-effect such that said cause-and-effect is re-evaluated with a narrative structure instead, utilising symbols to generate meaning with an agenda in mind. So returning to reality has to involve strengthening the relationship between cause-and-effect, and the most sustainable way to achieve this is to recognise what you want moment-to-moment, and then immediately do the thing.

So, I refer to this really irritating (complimentary) comic:

When you struggle to do things for mind-based reasons, the claim 'it't not that simple' comes from a place of being unable to recognise that part of you doesn't want to do it. And this is where the acceptance comes in: being able to recognise yourself as messy, imperfect, finite, human, and a product of your environment - instead of a glorious, infinite source of potential - will result in you feeling less fragile, more complete, and less reliant on symbols to drive a narrative about yourself so you can feel comfortable with existence. Acceptance of yourself and your wants will result in more authentic actions, which will result in less of a need for everything to 'go right'.

The process of acceptance is something that happens within you, and you will feel it when it happens: acceptance is when something goes from simply being theoretically true (I can state that I am wearing blue trousers) to being something I believe (I know that I am wearing blue trousers). Said acceptance is much less fragile, because my belief of the colour of my trousers is something I no longer need to be true - if someone says my trousers are red, I can say 'oh, they probably are' and I can look down at them and make another judgment. If they're red, I don't panic, because when I believed they were blue, that was an innocent belief that came out of my flawed human mind. I am, in short allowed to make decisions, I am allowed to believe things, to think things, without them needing to be correct, without them needing to be more correct than the reality in which I exist - the reality that came before me, and will exist regardless of my ability to percieve it, Descartes be damned.

If you want to write, but find yourself unable to write, you might have to confront something embarrassing about yourself: that you don't, actually, want to do the process of writing; instead, you want to have written something. But believing of yourself as a conduit to, and obstacle in the way of, achievement, posits said achievement as a metaphysical construct of greater importance than the literal reality of how many hours you sacrificed for said achievement. There's both a humility and a sense of responsibility in all of this: you're the one who generates meaning and feels the feelings, so you must prioritise yourself over some percieved obligation to 'the universe' - your achievements are your own and do not exist in the ether first. But reality itself exists first, and you must engage with the physical world in order to strengthen that causal relationship. There was a post I read a while back about how if you're struggling with gender dysphoria, then exercise can really help - this works because it operates under the same principle that without a natural interaction with cause-and-effect, the brain constructs a narrative to fill in the gaps, kind of like phantom-limb syndrome.

The realisation 'it is that simple' comes from the moment of acceptance. The moment 'it is that simple' is the moment you understand that writing a book is the same as moving your arm - if you want it enough, you will do it. There are many things that you may want *in theory* - but those are infinite, metaphysical, symbolic. There is only the reality of who you are and what you experience, moment-to-moment. Until you go and make that sandwich, your hunger isn't even proof that you need to eat anything. You show your depth of self through directly interacting with the real world, whatever form that takes. Symbolic thinking is what happens when you stop interacting with the real world, including the reality of your own selfhood, and the result dissatisfaction will have you sunk-cost-style retreating further and further back. Breaking out of it is hard but it's all a testament to just how much what we want is who we are.

I've barely scraped the surface here of what it takes to do all this - but this is the fundamental basis of the principle that I developed and still use to this day. It's the principle I used that got me starting to write on tumblr - instead of pathologising my desire to analyse, I decided to start getting my thoughts out into the world. Instead of waiting till I can achieve a known symbol of completion - instead of writing a book - I decided to engage in a much more immediate form of writing by directly writing out, with zero plan, what I think and publishing it instantly to the world. Because of this, my thoughts have ceased to exist as some testament to my big-brained genius - and will vanish along with me when I die - and representative of my fragile ego, but rather something I use to directly engage with other in the material space. My ideas now generate meaning because of their relationship with reality, not in spite of it. And it's infinitely more satisfying.

[the-fear]

hiiiii :3

i read tags on that post you reblogged for me and i agree that its most likely that kayne is nyarlathotep since it'd pretty much align with cthulhu mythos - it often takes human form to walk the earth and it's character is pretty similar to kayne's. It also acts with seemingly no particular goal again just like kayne! and i can't really think of any other gods in cthulhu mythos that would fit him so well

also I'd love to hear more about that theory of yours ^_^!!!!!!

Aw thanks for asking about this! :D

{Putting this under a cut because this is a lot of information. It’s pretty condensed but still quite long}

Please take in mind that this theory only just popped into my head when I read the post, so this has more holes in it than Emmental cheese.

I was thinking on the fact that Harlan’s post mentioned explicitly that Kayne’s identity will be addressed in season 4, and I was wondering what other things have been added to the podcast this season. Most notably are the characters (Oscar, the Butcher, Daniel, etc. - Noel is a Very Close Contender for being Kayne for me), but we’ve also had some other things at least slightly confirmed. Probably one of the most important things that have been confirmed it the time dilation.

I seem to remember that there were quite a lot of theories around time loops and similar phenomena (I think a few were on @ty-betteridge’s blog but I can’t find the posts for some reason). With Scratch’s apparent ability to live longer in dreams than in the real world, eldritch time dilation is basically canon, as far as we know. This could further open the door to other time-related shenanigans, including time loops, to be canon as well.

It’s also been mentioned in the time loop posts that John could in fact be a future Arthur (I may have got this wrong because it’s been a long time since I caught up on the theories). I personally don’t see that (I don’t know how that would fit in with the KIY stuff) but I do really think there’s going to be some stuff involving timeloops and Arthur and John.

Anyway, enough of that ramble! Let’s get back to the important part: who is Kayne?

I 100% believe Kayne is Nyarlathotep - or at least one version of him. Maybe not the one directly from the Lovecraft source material, but definitely an entity that shares the same role as him in the story. Especially with the common description of Nyarlathotep as “joyous”, and we can defintely say that Kayne is enjoying himself with Arthur’s story.

I say that Kayne may not be entirely based on Lovecraft’s Nyarlathotep, because that entity is described as an Outer God, and this theory hinges on the fact that Kayne’s origin is something much closer to home.

So what are some things that we know for sure about Kayne / Nyarlathotep?

From Lovecraft’s source material: his description tends to be of a “tall, swarthy man” but it’s often noted that he can shapeshift.

From the podcast: he has no canon appearance apart from wearing a black suit (and other details), as described by John in part 20. He is also noted to be playing piano in his first appearance.

He also has an Extreme interest in Arthur’s life, as far as to having “watched [Arthur’s] life unfold”. He wants to find out what’s “different” about Arthur compared to other people.

So here’s my theory:

Kayne is Arthur (+ John) from the future.

If you’re thinking that’s a slightly far fetched, I agree! There are several problems with this theory that I need to iron out. I’m replying to this ask because I hope other people can add to this theory, correct me on things that I got wrong, share some more stuff about Nyarlathotep, etc.

One question with this theory is that surely John would recognise Kayne if he looked like Arthur? Well, that’s already got an answer - Kayne can shapeshift, so probably changed his appearance to throw John off his scent. That might also explain the difference in accent between Arthur and Kayne: Future Arthur!Kayne is trying to be incognito, he doesn’t want Arthur and John to find out who he is.

Another question is why is Arthur!Kayne doing this? The motive I think Arthur!Kayne has is pretty evident: he wants to find out what makes him different, what allowed him to become Kayne. We’ve already been told that Arthur is different to most people in that he can hold a piece of the King in Yellow in his mind without succumbing to their will (compared to Marie’s sister, who was taken over completely by Mr Scratch, and the people who did not survive John’s book). Perhaps this difference allowed Arthur to become Kayne (remember that Kayne discusses hearing voices too, perhaps in a similar manner to John + Yellow in Arthur’s mind). Maybe what sets Arthur on the path to becoming Kayne is… accumulating other parts of Gods? Mr Scratch maybe - Arthur might be strong enough to keep charge of his body and Scratch just lives in his mind like Yellow did (if his plans with the stone go badly).