#was specifically DESIGNED to erase everything i had ever liked

[cantsayidont]

June 1998. Among DC's more infuriating editorial tendencies is a penchant for blowing up characters and continuity and then later bringing back the discarded versions very briefly, either to stomp on them all over again, or just to remind you that the earlier version existed, but you're not allowed to have it anymore. To exemplify the point, here's a scene from LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES #105 where the cutesy reboot Legion's Shrinking Violet encounters the older, butch version of herself from the pre-Zero Hour series.

(The visual parallel between the older Vi and Lightning Lass and the younger Violet comforting Kinetix is just bait — there was nothing to see there.)

[objectsarebestest]

So yesterday I saw a fairly disturbing post in the objectum tags and I’ve been planning this response ever since. I don’t know if I’m fully 100% ready, but I know that if I wait until I am the post will never be made. I’m not going to link the post this was triggered by or name the poster. Those who self-harm deserve respect and the help they need, not being targeted. I’m actually glad this post was made in a way, because it alerted me to a problem in the weapum community that I want to address.

The post ahead will discuss self-harm, which is why I will be putting it under a read-more. Do not feel pressured to read it if doing so would put you in a bad mindset or trigger you.

I’m weapum, which is an objectum microlabel for those who are attracted to weapons. Specifically, one of my object partners is a kitchen knife. His name is William, but I call him Will for short. He’s beautiful. The way his handle is shaped to give you the perfect grip, the way his serrated edge glints in the light, just everything about him. I think he might be my favorite knife in the whole world.

I also am an ex-cutter who struggles with self-harm urges. Honestly, the only reason I quit was because I can’t get away with it anymore. I still have the scars on my left thigh. They don’t look like self-harm scars. They’re not straight lines. They’re more wiggly marks, a couple round marks that look like holes, etc. But I know what they are. They are proof that I failed the body I live in.

When I discovered my crush on Will, I thought he was different. I felt secure with him. The way his blade shines felt like him smiling at me. Until the day I regret. I was alone. Always a bad sign. I went downstairs and opened the drawer that Will lives in. I felt like I was in a trance. I took him out and started running his blade over my skin. I was testing his sharpness. I don’t know what I was really planning on doing. Or maybe I just don’t want to admit it. As soon as I drew blood I snapped out of it and panicked. I ran upstairs crying and texted a mental health hotline.

I feel terrible. For using him like that. But there’s no way to erase what I did. I don’t want to say it ruined our relationship. We’re still dating. But it changed it, and not for the better. I feel this apprehension around him that I didn’t feel before. And his energy around me is definitely different. I wish I could erase what I did with him. Hurting myself with him nearly broke our bond. So when I heard that some weapum hurt themselves as part of their bond, I had to address it.

If your object partner is encouraging you to hurt yourself, you need to get rid of them. I had to learn this the hard way due to a skirt ex-friend of mine. It doesn’t matter if that object is saying that they tell you to hurt yourself because they love you, or because they’re your friend, or because it will ultimately help you. An object who really loved you wouldn’t do things like that. You can donate them, sell them, or throw them away. If they’re a weapon, there are mental health charities that allow you to mail your blades to them to help with quitting. You’re allowed to feel sad. You’re allowed to cry. You’re allowed to miss them. Just like I miss my skirt. But they are endangering you.

If you’re hurting yourself because you think that’s the best way to bond with your object partner, you’re wrong. There are so many things to do to bond with a knife other than self-harm. Me and Will cook together. That feeling of moving in unison while mincing carrots or slicing strawberries, watching the light hit his blade until we both feel electrified. But Will is designed for cooking. You can take your knife out hunting, use it to carve a wooden sculpture, learn knife throwing (safely and with the right kind of knife!) or just admire each other’s beauty.

If you have mental health problems that cause you to want to self-harm, like I do, that’s okay. It’s not a moral fault to be mentally ill. But your weapon partner is enabling you. Seek help. Real help. If you’ve tried that before and it didn’t help, try again. Keep looking. There is help out there. Your object partner should be proud of you for getting better. And if they’re not, they aren’t the right object for you. They don’t deserve you.

I hope this helps someone, even one weapum. Hopefully.

[jackdollnan]

Poro Analysis

i know this is an art blog mostly but on occasion i like to make it a graphic design blog. Behold with only the finest graphic design heres my poro unicorn lore board. Contains Spoilers for all of the Music Festival Arc, Heart Breaker, Deviculum

I mostly was curious on what irl lore of the unicorn got added or adapted into poros creation. I'll go more specific about my points Under the cut. Lord i hit undo on this editor and it erased almost everything i wrotei had to rewrite most of the post :',C

Ars Goetia Amduscias Demon

The Ars Goetia describes Amduscias taking the Appearence of a Unicorn, as well as: all manner of Trumpets and Musical Instruments to be heard but not soon or imediately, and can cause the trees to bend and incline according to the Exorcists will. And Amduscias is often described as the one playing or in charge of the music that can be heard through hell, as well as having a thunderous voice and being asscoiated with thunder.

Poro's Character greatly tracks with the music Theme. Poro is shown to be a Sound and Music Specialist, giving Critique and concerning Invites to Students after their Performances. Poro's own Claim to Fame was being Delkira's personal Musician giving a battle Concert with Delkira.

Poro's own Character Design with that Piano lookin Cut, Cello Detail and Pinstripe Suit, Notes on the End of those side hair pieces, and carrying a Conductor's Baton

Poro's yells loudly once getting to the School about the Crime, according to Poro, of re-allowing the use of the Royal One(talk about a thunderous Personality). Poro at the End of the Arc, once convinced, and painfully, for Wett defects with Kirio and Wett of the Six Fingers who answer to the Thunder Lord, Baal.

The last bit about being able to cause trees to bend, in the last panel Poro with Kirio and Wett are seen entering Brush to exit Babylus. The thought of such tall dark Brush, despite atleast the spaced out Center of Babylus's Campus, covering an Individual as large and tall as Poro for a masked Exit- no Clue if controling Trees is part of Poro's Powerset but still an interesting coincidence alluding back to Amduscias.

Qi Lin

I wish i had more historical/primaray sources to look from but alas modern feng shui websites will have to do

The Qi Lin has stories about the Rarity of its Appearences. The Qi Lin only showing up when a great outstanding Ruler is present in Time or when a great Sage(mostly Confucius mentioned) dies. There is also a legend that an Emperor of China was at the Yellow River and saw a Qi Lin on the Water, as it walked it cleared the River and Surroundings of all the Dirt and Stuff and the Emperor saw the Symbols on its Back and used them to create the first chinese writing System.

The Bit about the outstanding Ruler and Sage seems to match up well with Events and Characters. Poro being very Loyal, even to Poro's own Detriment, to Delkira as, when ever someone mentions Delkira most Demons admire Delkira in this demon Kingdom(?) Country(?).

It even matches with Iruma's Setup, Sully calling on Poro to see Iruma in hoping Poro will be impressed to rank Iruma. Plus we all know Iruma will become the next Demon King via the Prophecy, Poro is witnessing the fledgling King.

Not that all Qi Lin have to have exclusively one Horn but with the overlapping Traits of its Dragon like Features, Poro's Design echos back to the Qi Lin with Poro's Tail having a smooth Underside, spikey hairy Outterside, not to mention the clattering Heels in lue of Hooves

As an aside the Ming Emperor, Emperor Yongel, was gifted a Giraffe, that was called, equated to, and or associated with the QI Lin, very smart on the gifters part. I thought this was so funny given Poro's size, no clue if Nishi intended to it to match up with Poro but lucky for Nish-sensei it works out.(3rd picture of section of court painting of said Giraffe)

European Medieval Unicorns (i recomend skipping to the Poro paragraph and back reading this one)

Unicorns had a variety of many myths, associations, and metaphors attached to them but the Myths from Medieval Europe stand out most prominently here. Its been a variety of Animals over the Years, its Predessor being an Ox, the Re'em from the Bible, Goats,Asses (Donkeys), Horses, overall some sorta hoofed Creature and one Horn.

The first main Attribute to this Unicorn Myth is the Unicorn's Horn having Properties to purify the sick and ill, specfically treat and cure Diseases and Poison. Those who were able to successfuly find and hunt would gain such a treasure.

Later on it gained another Adaptation - The Unicorns purifying Power later becoming intertwined with the Purity of virgin Maidens, that a wild Beast would only allow itself to be near/in the Arms of a Virgin Maiden because the Unicorn could sense/was in awe of a Maiden's Purity(and or the maidens Purity matched that of the Unicorns), only for it to be a Trap, for a Group of Hunters to come out from Hiding to chase/capture and the slaughter with perhaps some Level of Immortality from the Unicorn for the Unicorn to not fully die after all that. Other versions of the story have the virgin naked and the Unicorn does some sorta sexual encounter with the Virgin.(i can't make this up)

Later the whole Saga became Metaphors for Sex/Love/Marriage. People being reigned in and tamed by the Love or down -badness of their Partner/Spouse as a wild Unicorn is tamed in the arms of a Virgin. People eventually settling down and finding Love. - no relation to the modern practice/notion of a 3rd person joining only in the sex lives of a married couple.

There also became a very Christian Metaphor to emerge along side the love Metaphor. The power/essence of Christ was reigned in by a virgin Mary, mirring that of a Unicorn being allured to a Virgin. That the whole Hunt of the Unicorn was a metaphor for the Crucifixtion and Ressurection of Christ, with wild purifying powerful Unicorn parralleling the Goddlyness of Christ, its Hunt for the Crucifixtion, Its slight immortality with the Ressurection from the dead, and circling back with the purifiying Power of the Unicorn being drawn as a Metaphors for Christ the Redeemer.( i also wish i couldve made this up)

Lets get back to M!ik

Seeing Unicorns being described as wild Asses seems stunningly on Brand for Poro, with Poro's Abbrasiveness at times and trying to beef with kids this coincidence is pretty funny.

Poro's major Arc of the Music Festival is coping with the Loss and the never return of Delkira as Poro regrets never getting the chance to technically date Delkira and never being able to see him again. It's all the more highlighted when in Sully's flash back when Poro, in a sour Mood expresses how its been too long since Delkira's Disappearance. Despite finding more Comfort with Change after Iruma and Co's Performance Poro hard flips back into Copium once Wett talks about reuniting Delkira. this all reads to me of Poro being wild all around unless Delkira is present to be the one true love of Poro ala wild Unicorn and love Metaphor.

There seems to be a bit of confusion about Poro's gender based on Poro's Presentation and specifically language Presentation. English Pronouns i can't really say anything about not least since the manga is being translated from Japanese with different Features and Practices- no doubt this gave the translators some trouble on how to adapt the wording, maybe a bit more cumbersome to other Languages than English. For whatever its worth Poro mentions being a Maiden and a Lady in EN fan translation.

tho i did start a paragraph about Poro's Gender this speaks more about the Purity and maiden Aspect of the Myth with the Unicorns sensitivity of/purity matching that of a virgin Maiden's. The comparison feels most matching when Poro apprehends Wett after Wett tailed Poro and Poro goes(paraphrasing), I was feeling a yucky presence a maiden can sense that type of stuff, it's alluded to it being Poro's ability to hear the heart beat Pattern and read that off to the overall Mood and intentions (based on action) of a Person, but it also matches well sensing/reading Wett and the Antgonists' unpure Intentions and drive up their villiany Status.

this part is a bit more head cannon-y: Poro was doing a bit of maiden sensing on Eliza when she says, we'll pierce you with the finest sound, and Poro's own Quest/Hunt for Love, a kindred spirit to Eliza's, finding Love for Love's sake.

another head cannony one is Poro's lines crying, that Delkira despite not giving personal attention to the women around him, Poro still says he did eventually(and like a simp still be wanting Delkira). If Poro was reading Delkira's Purity or smth. This line kinda reads a little ambiguously with that whole maiden/purity sensing idea in the background, vs the idea that Sully had a secret love child with Delkira and it became Iruma. lmao you heard it guys Poro believes in the Iruma is a direct descendant of Delkira theory, just kidding. Too bad Poro couldn't sense Delkiras heart beat when Delkira ghosted them at the office.

a little incongruous to the previous point of Delkira being the one and only for Poro- is Poro's Preferences(not for Men in general) but the inclusion of the younger Students in Babylus, who are, i guess, Boys and, as Poro puts it, young Men.(Poro is so desperate for hitting on high schoolers at this age.) Poro seems quite Old being Contemporaries with even Sullivan and with the Students of Babylus seeming rather inexperienced with Romance it seems to track with the Myth, the Unicorn is sensing the purity of/allured by Virgins, or at least, those who have far less romance Experience. This is Unfortunetly why i argue Poro's influence to be aligned with this Version of the unicorn Myth, Poro's odd combo of a romance thru-line despite hitting on kids, and lines with equating to be a maiden it feels like it matches beat for beat of the medieval Unicorn myth.(Unless the qilin also has meanings of sex love and romance which it might, i could use more details).

And now its time for the Jesus metaphor, Oh man you thought i was done.

Going back to the Christian Metaphor for the Maiden lures a Unicorn, only for a band of huntsmen to begin pursuit and the Unicorn gets Injured and kinda dies but then lives. The Europeans found a way to Pack in a Jesus metaphor with the Wild Unicorn and its purifying Power repping Christ the Redeemer, the Unicorn only appearing in the Presence of Virgins Of course Mary, the subsquent Hunt repping the Crucifixtion dyin for ya sins and purifying horn, and the Unicorn living cause semi immortality and Christ live-dying with god or what ever the point of that story was.

Guess who else was invited to do some ressurecting, it is part of Baals plans to recruit Poro for Delkiras "reuniting," for Baal just straight up power grab. (honestly i didn't know much about unicorns before hand was not expecting jesus or the virgins thing to come up.) Blehh that means Iruma, Ali and Delkira, could be like the unholy demonic Trifecta, (Delkira)the Father (Iruma) the Son (Ali) the Holy Spirit not expecting to see iruma with another jesus parallel.

crack theories: Poro cleared Kirio of his Debuffs. It'll be a race see who will get to Delkira first catch Delkira as a Deer, or Ali or Delkira go full vampire Mode.

ok im done congrats for reading this far now you too get this cursed info

[altocat]

You guys discussing Project G and Genesis reminded me of when I started researching Genesis’ history with Deepground and the horror of Deepground itself….and fuck.

Shinra obviously arranged the whole place, but I am positive Hojo was the one running it, because you can see the signs of his type of influence everywhere and it’s utterly terrifying.

For instance, don’t look too deeply into literally everything about Weiss or you’ll start to see some extremely eerie parallels to Sephiroth, particularly insane Sephiroth. From his specific design and weaponry, to his hatred of humanity, to his violent relationship with authority, to Hojo specifically controlling him…and…well, he was the first and the best of all Deepground’s soldiers, wasn’t he.

I swear, Hojo has been trying to recreate and control Sephiroth for so long. Weiss had to have been another one of his brainchildren.

Hell, maybe Hojo tried to create a better Vincent with Nero too.

Then there are the Tsviets like Rosso and Shelke, who were so fucked up by the experimentation and brutal soldier training they went through that they either turned into sadists or were stunted in some way that specifically related to childhood. All of them have Hojo’s exact style of horror all over them when you really break them down and analyze their stories and personalities. You can just see his handiwork.

And when I put this together, I began to strongly suspect that this was all more evidence, all more implication of what happened with Sephiroth. He was the strongest soldier ever created. The strongest in humanity. Nothing could parallel him, and with his strength he survived everything that Hojo threw at him—the same type of brutality that broke the psyches of the Deepground soldiers.

Sephiroth was simply too powerful. Until Nibelheim and until he literally could not take it anymore. He has all of the key traits of the broken-minded Tsviets combined, and his post-insanity agenda went beyond any of theirs. He didn’t decide to hunt only certain humans like Weiss or just be a sadist killer like Rosso—he wanted to erase mankind from existence all together and hated them with every shred of his strength.

I am sure Deepground and all of those key plot-points in Dirge were unique, but also absolutely meant to explain the catastrophe we see at the beginning that is meteor and why the person that summoned it did what he did. Dirge does this a lot, also by having more backstory for Lucrecia and Vincent as well, also showing Hojo’s sadism at its worst…I think it’s why Hojo was the ultimate villain.

Dirge only vaguely addresses Sephiroth directly, but so much of its story revolves around him with this unspoken dread and tragedy.

The game asks you, “Ok, you beat Sephiroth…but was he ever the true villain behind everything? Or did it go deeper than that…”

That very question leads us straight to Hojo. No coincidence.

Hojo pretty much has his hand in everything. In every story except for Advent Children, he's pretty much the catalyst for so much trauma. I admire his commitment. The fucker.

But yeah, it wouldn't surprise me if all of Deepground and the Tsviets was Hojo's doing. It's totally his style.

[broadwaytheanimatedseries]

My thoughts on Felix after Emotion:

I think it's very interesting how we've only ever seen Felix treat other non humanoid sentimonsters like siblings.

Sure he treats Adrien like family, but he specifically calls him cousin and not just to his face.

Combine that with how it's been pointed out that he distinctly doesn't seem to think of himself as human and you get a rather concerning picture of what he might have been raised like.

Which is a point that has also been made before already, but even beyond that you get the sense that either by design or through the way he was raised, he's less of a person than the other sentikids are.

Maybe Colt Fathom didn't really care about having a son for the sake of his family, but just needed an heir that wouldn't fail him, and for that he couldn't settle for anything less than perfect.

For that, a human child was simply unreliable, and he had to make sure that not only was his creation perfect in every way, it would also be uncorruptable by the interference of any emotion leading to human error.

Felix wasn't allowed to have fun, or talk back or make mistakes or have opinions or care for anything other than what he was ordered to, and he was expected to do everything perfectly, obediently, and without question.

So what went wrong with Colt's plan? Amelie.

She wasn't going to let her son live like that, and she probably would've left her husband after finding out what a horrible person he really is.

Unfortunately, he held her son's life in his hands, literally, forcing her to stay in order to try and even remotely salvage the awful situation.

She managed to slowly but surely negate a lot of Colt's influence on her son, but she couldn't erase all that had happened to him.

Everything he's been through because of his father left its impact, making him severely emotionally stunted and prone to lashing out.

The only defense he knows is offense, the only way he copes is through the same anger and cruelty he's experienced all his life.

He has not even once made eye contact with a constructive, healthy outlet for his issues, not that he can even explain those issues much.

How do you tell someone that you were raised to be a tool, a pawn in someone's game of chess?

No wonder he's so obsessed with being a mastermind, it gives him the one thing he desperately lacks.

A sense of control.

He thinks the only way to achieve his freedom -

Is to take it from other people.

It's all he was ever taught.

At least that's my theory. For now, anyway.

[shera-dnd]

I just woke up and I guess my head is far up my ass enough that I decided that I want to do media analysis of the themes of RWBY Volume 9, so you chuckle fucks are coming with me on this stupid trip

I am also pretty much stealing a lot of what I'm saying from @ohnoitstbskyen 's fantastic Boss Designs of Dark Souls 2 series, his recent analysis of Cloud Strife, and his short on the Throne of Want

(Go fucking watch his stuff if you haven't. It's really good and it helped me learn a lot about character design and media analysis)

Alright buckle up!

I think everyone at this point knows that the core theme of RWBY Volume 9 is identity and purpose, what with the afterans being unable to stop talking about purpose for more than 8 seconds

So I wanted to talk specifically about the parallels between Ruby, Neo, and Jaune's arcs, the Cat's pseudo-possession magic, and the concept of Ascension

We've been following Ruby's POV closely this entire season, with very few cut aways to any other characters. So most of us already got what the deal is with her.

Ruby believes she has failed her purpose and has lost her sense of self. She spent the last 8 seasons believing she's supposed to be the hero of the stories she grew up with.

Fight monsters, lead her team to victory, and save the day with a bright smile on her face

But things haven't been working out all that well for her. No matter how hard she tries she can't save everyone, she can't be the invincible hero she believes she should be, and the weight of the world on her shoulders is starting to take its toll

(Funny how heroism burnout seems to be a recurring theme in media nowadays)

Ruby has failed her perceived purpose, and since she has no clue who Ruby Rose IS, only who Ruby Rose SHOULD BE, she's left aimless and ripe for being manipulated into taking the ego death juice from the tree

Especially with Neo's illusions constantly reinforcing all of Ruby's worst fears. The fear that the world would be better without her. That who Ruby Rose actually is is a failure and a danger to those around her

So we can get back to Ruby's "suicide" later, for now let's focus on Neopolitan herself

Because Neo shows a different take on this issue. The loss of self not through failing your perceived purpose, but through completely fulfilling it

Ever since Roman's death Neo's sole motivation for doing anything has been taking revenge on those she perceived as being responsible for it. Namely Cinder and Ruby.

Every action she took since her reintroduction in Volume 6 has been motivated by this drive for revenge and nothing else.

And once she lands in the Ever After she decides that death isn't enough. This isn't just killing Ruby like she killed Roman. This is about destroying Ruby's identity, about erasing everything that makes her Ruby, just like Roman's death threatened to erase everything that made her Neo

And so she does. Ruby drinks the tea and is taken by the tree to Ascend, and now Neo has nothing

Her purpose is fulfilled, her mission is over, and now she's left with the question she's been avoiding since the Fall of Beacon

"Who is she without Roman?"

And she cannot answer. Without Roman and without her revenge to drive her, Neopolitan has nothing.

And an empty heart is the perfect vessel for someone else's intent.

But we'll put a pin on that for now and move on to the third character in this mess

Jaune

Oh this poor man. He is the proof that sticking to your identity and sticking to your purpose is maybe not super healthy either.

Jaune's arc (hah!) had always been that of accepting that he was not the protagonist. He isn't the hero, he isn't the badass, and this isn't his story.

And by the time we reach Volume 8 he has accepted that, he has taken up his new role as the support. His equipment and his semblance are geared towards helping other people excel and be better. He makes everyone else the protagonist.

Hell when he lands in the Ever After the world just hands him that role again by making him a supporting character in Alyx's story, but well... we know how that went

So now Jaune is left alone for DECADES! And for all those years all he has to keep him even remotely sane is that purpose. Help others!

Decades of helping the paper pleasers every day, decades of waiting for team RWBY because THEY are the real protagonists, decades of refusing to change and refusing to let anything around him change

It destroys him in the end, but at least his heart stays strong through most of it. Strong enough to resist the cat's power.

And here we are back at the Curious fucking Cat, or Kyuubey 2.0 as I like to call them.

Throughout the season we see our favorite shit cat "help" other afterans by (in their words) giving them a piece of their heart. In hindsight it's obvious what it is they were doing

It was manipulation masquerading as kindness.

They see people who struggle with a lack of purpose and intercedes by forcing their will upon them.

They do all they can to exhaust Ruby's sense of self, to shatter her heart so theirs can take over

And when that fails they turn to Neo, who is now an empty shell of who she used to be. Perfect to be filled by their will.

(god I so hope Neo is actually dead now, because if this really is possession I'm gonna be feeling sick for a while. Fucking hate this trigger, man)

(Also if you played FFVII you probably know now why I mentioned Cloud Strife at the start)

So that's all their arcs in a nutshell, but what exactly is the parallel I mentioned before?

It's change... or well, a lack of it

Not Ruby, nor Neo, nor Jaune, are capable of changing and moving on.

Ruby finds it easier to erase herself completely than to move on from her failures

Neo doesn't even consider the idea of moving on a possibility, and vehemently refuses to until her very last moments

And Jaune clings to this groundhog day that is his life, because this is the only thing keeping him going

They either refuse to change or cannot comprehend changing as an option

And that brings us to the last topic I wanted to touch on (god I really don't wanna see what the word count for this looks like)

Ascension

When an afteran loses sight of their purpose they ascend. The tree erases their memories, gives them a new purpose, and a new self to fulfill it.

This process seems to be tied to two entities: The Curious Cat AND the Blacksmith

But most importantly this is tied to CHANGE! And much like change it can be both a beneficial and dangerous force.

When we see CC using their powers it is now obvious that they're just influencing the people around them to become whatever they want them to become.

Herb is no longer useful to their plans? Off to the tree with him

They need cannon fodder to protect Ruby? Time to change that one Hawker's identity completely.

It's not about the person changing, it's always about them. They're change as manipulation and destruction. The Curious Cat is ego death, the loss of identity to the heart of another.

Then there's the Blacksmith. She seems to take a more comforting approach to change and ascension. She asks Ruby to settle down her burdens and tells her to pick a new weapon, a new her that she can be

And of course from Ruby's perspective the options she sees are those she thinks she should see. Is she supposed to be like Penny? The greatest warrior to have ever lived. Is she supposed to be Alyx? The protagonist who made her way out of this hellhole by herself. Or is she supposed to be her mother? The heroic ideal she could never live up to.

That's the thing, right? She isn't supposed to be any of them. Ruby Rose is only meant to be Ruby Rose, and I think she'll finally get to decide who that is.

As much as I have called this suicide or ego death, I don't think that that's what awaits Ruby

I think the Paper Pleasers had the right idea. They finished their job, they did what they set out to do, they were satisfied and it was time for them to move on to something else

Change won't be the end for them, it will just be a new beginning

And that's what I think Ruby needs. A clean slate and a chance to forge a new self with the help of the blacksmith

Hell that is what all three of them need

Maybe Jaune will be able to change and move on, finally letting go of the purpose he has been torturing himself with

Maybe Neo is still alive in there and will be able to kick the Curious Cat out of her body by finding something new to drive her (I would be very happy for her once I recovered from the panic and nausea)

I know this Volume has not given us much reason to be hopeful, but I also don't think CRWBY is writing angst for angst's sake. All of this has a purpose and a message

That change can be a scary thing, but it's also what you need to be able to grow

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

I would love to hear your thoughts on how louis engages with masculinity.

anon 2: Not the same anon, but would you like to talk about how Louis engages with masculinity? I am quite interested to hear your thoughts on it.

******

Thanks anons - that's a really interesting question that I've really enjoyed thinking about.

I've been mulling over what a useful framework for understanding msaculinity is - particularly from a point of view of how an individual might engage with it and there are two points that I want to make. The first is that I think masculinity is something more than what would currently be understood as gender presentation - masculinity is also about power. So to understand how someone engages with masculinity also involves looking at how they interact with other people and heterosexuality as an institution. The second, obvious but worth articulating point, is that every part of masculinity is culturally specific - and not in an abstract sense, but about a particular time and place and relating to the wider power relationships of that place.

By starting with how Louis self-presents and interacts with cultural signifiers that are associated with gender - we can see that the starting point is the working-class, northern English culture he grew up with. A lot of fandom discussion don't really seem to understand that relationship - and see everything which is a signifier of not liking posh things as being about gender - as if working class women don't exist. (This is a side note so I won't go fully into it - but one of the things I hate about shallow discussions of masculinity - is that they'll often equate masculinity with being working-class in a way that seems designed to erase the dangers of men with power).

I'm not going to talk specifically about fashion today, because I've talked about it before. But as he largely engages in fashion that is part of working-class culture - there is an interesting ambiguity around gender and fashion. Nobody would ever look at Louis and say 'that's feminine' or 'those are women's clothes. (Even though I think there have been a couple of times when the fashion ID suggested that they were). But if a woman or non-binary person was wearing them, people wouldn't necessarily say 'those are men's clothes'. It all comes back to men and masculinity being treated as normal - but the dynamics of streetwear are quite different from clothes that trace their history to more formal menswear traditions.

It is very obvious that as well as focusing on working-class gender performance - he also largely avoids engaging with cultural signifiers associated with feminity. My assumption here is that Louis almost certainly likes the things he says he likes and dislikes the things he says he dislikes - but he's also not sharing everything. We've no way of knowing what he engages with and doesn't share (and I think it's really important to assume that there's lots he doesn't share with us. I think it's as annoying to assume that what we see is all there is, as it is to assume that what Louis is hiding conforms to a very narrow image a particular fan has of him). But I think it's also reasonable to respond to what he presents - and he presents himself as largely not engaging with cultural signifiers associated with femininity. That's one of the things that fans are responding to. Part of my problem with responding to it is that I've had a lot of terrible takes in my inbox and it's hard not to feel like I'm somewhat responding to them. So I might just leave it there. I'll just say that I think the way to analyse this is focusing the way that seeing an absence of femininity is core to masculinity - and not demanding that an individual performs femininity for your amusement.

There is an interesting exception to this, which is slightly bigger than signifiers - and that's emotions. Louis presents himself as someone who is very in touch with his emotions and willing to be vulnerable (this is where there are some interesting cross-overs into power). I think that's interesting about him as a person, but I also think how he does it is really telling. When he talks about it, he often makes it a characteristic of men like him (saying things like - in Yorkshire we wear our hearts on his sleeve). He's not presenting himself as separate and different from other men, but instead suggesting that being in touch with emotions is fully compatible with his understanding of masculinity (I don't know how widely recognised this would be - I think it's interesting either way).

This provides quite a nice segue into power - one of the things I reacted to most strongly recently (although there's tough competition) as a description of Louis as macho - to me that suggests an aggressive and combative understanding of power and masculinity. That's not what we see Louis do - when we see him interact it isn't with a sense of hierarchy, but much more attempting to build common bonds. So much of the way Louis interacts with people appears to have elements of siblings to it. With fans, or people who he has status around - he's the big brother. But it's not just that - you see a wider attempt to make those sorts of relationships when he interacts with other people. (I'd probably have to rewatch X-factor to comment on how he interacts with people with more power and status). It's worth noting that this is really compatible with working-class northern masculinity. It's not separate from the rest, but part of it.

The relationships we mostly see Louis have are fraternal relationships - he does mostly seem to interact with men. I've talked about this in terms of discrimination and I'll continue to do so. But I think it's also worth understanding as part of his engagement with masculinity. It is part of the wider cultural context - one of the things that I really noticed when I moved to the UK is that socialising was much more gender segregated than I was used to. But mostly interacting with men is a way of engaging with masculinity.

There's an interesting flipside of this, which is that Louis doesn't seem that interested in representing women or femininity in his music (particularly not in his solo career).

That last point is connected with his (lack of) engagement with heterosexuality. I've made it clear that I don't think that Louis is very good at performing heterosexuality. And I do think that feeds into all of this - it's part of why the siblings dynamic is so strong with fans and how these different elements fit together.

I'd be really interested in other people's thoughts about all this - because there is a lot of sort of odd handwringing about Louis and masculinity - and not a lot of discription of what's going on.

[jayarrarr]

If It Ain't Love

On this Valentine's Day, as on every Valentine's Day, we are inundated with red and pink hearts and images celebrating romantic love. But why celebrate romantic love, specifically, when of all the types of love that exist, it is the most volatile, unrealistic, and fleeting type? Perhaps it isn't romantic love, exactly, that we celebrate, but the memory of it—intense, ideal, and intrusive. It might be volatile, but the moments it stays with us are vigorous and strong. People will say that they've never felt more alive than when they're in love, which makes those brief moments all the more explosive and eloquent. It is here that we compose sonnets and paint masterpieces. It is here that we experience ourselves as boundless. It might be unrealistic, but it allows us, as imperfect creatures, to glimpse perfection in all its glory—even to taste it, for a moment. It's not real, but then, perfection isn't real either, is it? While in love, there's nothing we don't think we can do. All of our dreams have been realized and we can see them, flawless and fierce in our minds. This feeling erases impossibility. It might be fleeting, but it leaves scorch marks on our souls that not even time can erase. Although we might struggle to recount factual details, we always seem to fluidly recall the feeling of every time we've fallen in love. It's this feeling that stays with us, long after the actual love and the person who produced it have disappeared. It doesn't stay, but it never quite goes away, either. I submit that, in the grand scheme of things, very few people are actually, actively in love on any given Valentine's Day. But Valentine's Day gives you the opportunity to celebrate the memory of being in love, which almost all people have: Intense, because it consumes you on a neurological and cellular level. Being in love actually alters your brain chemistry, making colors more vivid, lights brighter and sharper, sounds clearer and more distinct. You are at the height of your focus and the world around you is shining in a beautiful and brilliant way that's at once overwhelming and welcome. Ideal, because when you're in love with someone they can do no wrong. They are your perfect fit in all respects, a tangible manifestation of everything you've ever hoped for in your life coming together in one beautiful and brilliant paragon of peopledom. That you could have possibly found this connection makes everything else you might ever hope to do seem at least a little more possible. Intrusive, because every thought and feeling you have seems to revolve around them. Try as you might, you can't get them out of your head. They're your first thought upon waking and your last thought before you fall asleep. For one beautiful and brilliant moment, however brief, your entire being revolves around this person you've found. There isn't an instant left untouched by your feeling for them. And as much as it might seem like it would be amazing to feel this way all the time, our bodies and brains aren't designed to sustain this level of feeling for anything approaching forever. You can't produce the unique cocktail of neurochemicals required to be "in love" for any extended period of time. There's nothing wrong with your relationship if you're no longer "in love" with that person—you've simply come down from the clouds and started to interact with them as a whole person, beautiful in their flaws and brilliant in their mistakes. This Valentine's Day, allow yourself to be in love with the idea of being in love. Valentine's Day isn't meant for you to fuss over the perfect gifts or fret over the fact that you've got no one to exchange gifts with. It's meant for you to remember this volatile, unrealistic, and fleeting feeling that you've had, and feel grateful that it is indeed volatile, unrealistic, and fleeting—because if it weren't, we'd all be dead. © 2023 Jennifer R.R. Mueller

[rametarin]

went to sleep, youtube kept autoplaying

Steven Universe isn’t the best series, but good LORD some of the hypocritical takes from people that were so hard down on it towards the end, there. Jesus fucking christ.

I woke up to my autoplay somehow having gotten to ‘Steven Universe is garbage and here’s why’. Which, yes, is four years old now.

And it was a reminder that a lot of supposed “anti-fascists” are just antifascist the way many Christian or Muslim fundamentalists are, “Anti-sin.” In that it isn’t about the bad guys actions being evil, it’s about their greatest sin not being their special group that makes them evil.

Yes, my dude person. Many outlets of media invoke the Nazis for imagery. But, just because they’re invoked to tap into that spirit of familiarity of how dangerous such institutions can be, does not mean that everything that does is AS evil as the Nazis. You cannot have an evil institution and not have it have some even aesthetic characteristics with a very insidious and evil empire.

But this is kind of the problem with supposed, “anti-fascists.” Everything has to be a direct 1:1 allegory to what they see as the embodiment and epitome of bad things, the Nazis, and then that needs to be propaganda as a teachable moment on how the Nazis, specifically, were bad. We already know the Nazis were bad. Endlessly.

The Diamond Authority aren’t Nazis. They’re immortal magical hard light rocks with an inherently hierarchal structure. They’re totalitarians and they’re tyrannical, and in some senses and definitions, fascist. But that’s not the same as Fascist, with a capital F.

Star Wars’ Empire have very very nasty allegorical similarities, yes. But again, they aren’t THE Nazis. They’re a similar structure doing not-quite-the-same things.

The reason the redemption angle works in Steven Universe is it serves as a warning. The Gems’ unique mineral-organic structures enables something like the mass grave and bio weapon to have a redemption that sees each piece of the Gems sacrifice being able to be reconstituted. The threat of the Diamond Authority was that they caused ecoloigcal disaster for many worlds in the name of progress of their own species, with no care or caution for the cultures or lifeforms on other planets.

These are all essences and familar topics and subjects. They are not 1:1 with the actual crimes the Nazis committed. And we know this, because people like the creator of this hyper nattering schlock and other people with their value set still see white supremacy as the worst and only offender among the ethnosupremacies.

They don’t condemn the Golden Horde or Turkic genocides and cultural assimilations as bad as the Nazis, even though indisputably, the Mongols had a bigger empire and more genetic colonization across the world than the Nazis ever did.

While they acknowledge that Arabs are not “white people,” they’re persons of color, miraculously they keep that blind spot where Arab people in the name of Islam and being Arabian would institute many of the same militant breeding practices designed to ethnically erase competing communities out to leave them Arab. They did it for centuries, if not millenia, and were doing it before they did it in the name of spreading Islam. So, where’s the condemnation of Arabs for their, “Nazi-like behavior?”

Oh. Right. Because this particular culture that is so quick to scream about how everything even resembling a Nazi has to be a teachable moment about how evil the Nazis are, only cares about hitting people over the head about how awful those specific and solitary characteristics are, over and over. That specifically, only white people are bad, and these behaviors are only REALLY the highest form of evil if white people engage in them. Genocide and ethnic cleansing and mass slaughter? “Yeah, those happened in history.... but white people took them too far!”

The Muslims in India objectively killed more people over centuries by executions and non-military slaughters for being different ethnic backgrounds and religions, than the Nazis ever did. And this includes every random person a neo-Nazi has ever killed. If we’re going by either what was actually done when they had the opportunity and means to kill vs. what they actually did do when they had the opportunity in their limited grasp, India still faced worse slaughter by Muslims as a percentage of population and in numerical deaths, than Europe faced by Nazis before equilibrium was found again.

And yet, those that call themselves anti-fascists keep pointing to Nazis as the embodiment of objective evil to which all other depictions of evil are measured against, and demand evil have the face of a white man in a Hugo Boss jacket. Because nobody else can ever be as evil and nothing else can ever compare, somehow, to a regime that lasted 6.25 times the length of the Confederate States of America. Less, if you count time spent at war.

Specifically, white people crimes are treated as though they invented murder, genocide, or even mass murder. As if those things existed in a negative vacuum and only became real after the Nazis did them. And murder is treated as if it’s the greatest of tragedy if it’s committed by a white person.

All those terrible things the Nazis did (and they did do them. This is not in dispute here), other terrible groups with similarly terrible extreme desired outcomes, have done in the past. Many of us are descendants of such regimes that did such to neighbors, depending on where we lived. And yet, Nazis get to be elevated onto a pedestal for some reason. Why is that? Is it because the victims were Jews? That can’t be it- relative to the era, Hadrian absolutely ROFLSTOMPING Judea and forbidding Jews from entering their own homeland for its era would be the ultimate example of evil towards the Jewish people. For the era, 500,000 dead and hundreds of thousands more deposed would’ve been the equivalent of taking out a nation state of tens of millions today, for the level of civilization and social cohesion in the face of the technology to sustain such a culture and region.

Is it because of the ethnosupremacism? That can’t be it; you can find such, “my tribe is the only real human; you are all not my tribe and therefore subhuman scum or maybe breeding stalk if your sister has a fat enough ass” across most every continent humans dwell on that have a coherent people on it. Though the ethnosupremacism and how it manifests and exhibits itself changes depending on the era, region and context of how it defines itself genetically.

And yet for some reason, it is specifically the Nazis that wind up being THE specific exclusive example of embodying all these evils as if they originated them. Specifically, this culture of supposed “anti-fash” ONLY consider something racist and evil, if a white person or a white supremacist conspiracy is behind it. So fixated are they on the idea Nazis are the only real embodiment of evil as opposed to being one of many horrible examples, they downplay the evils of other regimes or even the concepts of the crimes Nazis committed, outside the context of Nazis committing those crimes. Somehow, genocide and supremacist notions are so bad, BECAUSE the Nazis believed in them, not the other way around.

People like this want every example of an evil organization to have shadows of Nazis, just so media can hamfistedly point at the evil acts as Nazi-like, then lecture about how Political Other Guys are closer to Nazis than their chosen ideology is. Supposedly. To where you can’t even invoke some familiar imagery of what embodies an evil organization and institution without them being mad you aren’t committing to making them MORE like actual Nazis, and less into something else.

“Why would you want to redeem Nazis!?” they cry.

Dude. Because these aren’t Nazis. They’re distant, fictional allusions to similar totalitarianist organizations. The same way the Golden Horde aren’t Nazis, though committed many of the same crimes. The same way Meso-American sacrifice cults that would wholesale slaughter rival tribes to their gods, weren’t Nazis. The evil fictional space society might have some evil imagery, but they’re divorced from the actual evil the Nazis represented. You CAN have fun with them this way. You CAN sympathize with the bad guy, because the bad guy ISN’T limited solely to reflecting and representing the historical crimes of the Nazis, and redeeming the bad guys isn’t in any way tangibly attached to real Nazism. Fictional bad guys and bad organizations can have sympathies, even in light of the horrible things they’ve done.

This entire stupid video can be summarized as, “WHY DIDN’T YOU MAKE THE BAD GUYS CARICATURES OF WHITE SUPREMACISTS TO PUNCH!? THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO BE! KIDS NEED TO KNOW! WHY ARE YOUR WHITE ENEMY GROUP EVEN SLIGHTLY SYMPATHETIC? ARE YOU HARBORING SYMPATHIES FOR NAZIS?!”

Brought to you by the people that see allusions to Nazism and genocide any time a republican candidate so much as runs for office. And I’m not talking about Trump. Delusional, ideological god damned babies that are so extreme they can’t even tolerate the idea who they disagree with may not be only a few steps removed from Satan.

Rebecca Sugar wrote a saccharine LGBT friendly foray with baby’s first exposure to war, ecocide and colonialism. And for some reason it was so gentle about it, her own side accused her of whitewashing Nazi crimes and wrote hitpieces on her over the ending. Which was rushed so she could have the first gay and/or queer wedding on mainstream public broadcast. And these intersectionalist, “anti-fascist” weenies pitched a fit, because it wasn’t far enough.

I can’t feel too bad about Sugar, however. She had to’ve known this was going to happen. The minute her sort even try and cooperate with the system, they get disregarded as sellouts and poseurs and traitors. Even if she and her crew are actively still trying to get her intersectionalist ideologues in to unionize animation and entertainment for this intersectionalist type of propaganda. Actual, “jaguars biting faces party”-ing.

But I can be annoyed by supposed anti-fascists defining evil as only truly evil, if it’s impressed on something by white men.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

This is textbook Judith Butler Queer Theory. Everything’s all about identities, inventing them (especially from mundane personality traits or medical conditions), constructing them and affirming them, specifically for the purposes of conducting identity politics. And explicitly “queering” (their word) everyone and everything.

If you don’t participate, you’re intolerant. If they’ve designated you as part of the thing, you’re a “traitor” to a thing you never had anything to do with in the first place.

For info on 47XXY Klinefelter Syndrome, and a better understanding of why the message is incoherent. see here: “Biology of DSDs (1) Klinefelter Syndrome”

An open letter to all organisations using LGBTQI+

Inclusion is a wonderful thing – and we should all want a world where inclusion is valued, and everybody can be part of public life and free to live without stigma.  However, inclusion should not involve erasing or misrepresenting the needs of marginalised groups of people, tokenising their existence, without trying to understand their needs – especially when their needs are diverse and complex and not easily boiled down to a single letter.

The I does not stand for Invisible!

So, I would ask all organisations adding the I, do you really understand what this stands for and are you really trying to improve the lives of people living with variations of sex development?  Or are you just adding the I because you think this is the best way to look “inclusive”, whilst ignoring their actual needs?

The I also does not stand for Ignoring needs!

I have written in detail about the term intersex https://differently-normal.com/2021/10/25/the-invention-of-intersex/?preview_id=292&preview_nonce=9f62da2a5a&preview=true and probably the first thing to note, is that the majority of people who are living with differences of sex development, do not identify as intersex, may not know the term is used to describe their medical history and may even find the term difficult or even stigmatising.  It is also increasingly common for people without a DSD, to identify as intersex, with even Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome being claimed as the most common intersex variation, even though most women with PCOS would never describe themselves as intersex and this is not officially recognised by any medical organisation.

So, when adding the I, who are you representing?

1) People without a DSD who choose to identify as intersex – or

2) those with a DSD, who may not use or even like the term?

By adding the I, are you erasing the needs of the most vulnerable, including newly diagnosed children and instead prioritising the needs of people who see “intersex” as an identity, for ever more spurious reasons?

So, let’s think about needs?

Surely any genuinely inclusive organisation would want to consider the needs of the most vulnerable as a priority – and when this comes to the I, surely this would prioritise the 0.2% living with complex differences of sex development.  Some of these conditions are listed below:

Klinefelter’s Syndrome

Turner Syndrome

Mixed Gonadal Dysgenesis (Mosacism)

Complete Gonadal Dysgenesis

Partial Gonadal Dysgenesis

Frasier Syndrome

5-alpha reductase deficiency

17-beta deficiency

Complete Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome

Partial Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome

Persistent Mullerian Duct Syndrome

Ovostesticular DSD

Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia

Mayer-Rokitansky-Kuster Hauser (MRKH) syndrome

If your organisation does not know the names and does not understand the needs of people living with these complex conditions, are you in any way able to advocate for them?

Did you know that Turner syndrome can be associated with significant heart and kidney problems – or that Klinefelter’s can increase the risk of developing Type 2 diabetes or osteoporosis?

Does your organisation understand that girls with MRKH or Complete Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome, may find out as young teens that they were born without a uterus and with a short vagina and that this can impact on both fertility and sexual function?  Can you provide information about options for vaginal hypoplasia, which can include dilators and surgery?  Can you provide the psychological support needed to come to terms with this information?  Are you aware that she may find her bodily difference being described as “intersex”, incredibly difficult – especially if this is done as part of “inclusivity” training and without understanding anything about her needs?

It may be especially difficult for a young teen, to be faced with their bodily difference being described as neither male or female, as is frequently suggested by lessons using the GenderBread person.  Is this genuinely being “inclusive”, or is this using a vulnerable group of people without considering their needs – and without engaging with expert advice as detailed here. https://dsdfamilies.org/application/files/9116/3519/2768/July_2021_schools.pdf

Does your organisation know that every year in the UK, around 150 babies are born with complex genital difference?  This can be associated with a number of life threatening and life limiting syndromes and further investigations may be needed to determine the cause and in rare cases, whether best to raise baby as a boy or a girl? Do you offer support to new parents facing these issues, so that they are able to advocate for their children?  Are you aware that labelling these babies as neither male or female or a third sex, can increase the risk of unnecessary surgeries?  Do you provide funding so that parents are equipped with the skills to raise confident children living with different bodies?

Does your organisation know that one of the most common causes of atypical genitalia, Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia (CAH), is a medical emergency and associated with the possibility of a life-threatening adrenal crisis?  Babies can develop arrhythmias, vomiting and dehydration shortly after birth and will need lifelong medication.  What support and information do you offer to these families – and does your organisation understand that the overwhelming majority of people with CAH, reject the term intersex?  Does your organisation understand that someone with CAH may be sitting in your “inclusivity” training and may be distressed by how you are describing their bodily difference?

When adding the I, without really understanding the I, are you misrepresenting the needs and bodies of people born with variations of sex developments and adding to public confusion?  Are you contributing to these conditions being weaponised and turned into memes that are used to discuss issues around sex and gender, without any genuine interest in needs?  Do you consider that there are likely people working in your organisation, who are living with these complex conditions and may find it traumatic to have their medical conditions misrepresented?

Most importantly, when adding the I, are you removing funding opportunities from the most at need – and are you preventing funding being available to meet the needs of those who are living with complex variations of sex development?

If by adding the I, you are genuinely wanting to improve the lives of people born with variations of sex development, we need more than just a hashtag – we need funding and services that prioritise our healthcare and psychological support.  If you genuinely want to be inclusive, do not misrepresent or ignore the voices of the people you are claiming to support – and do not add the I without first listening and understanding our needs.

If you are claiming to stand against interphobia and really want to end discrimination, please start by ensuring you don’t make the I invisible by ignoring our needs.

And finally, if you are serious about inclusion and your organisation really believes that we are more than just a hashtag, consider donating to our needs https://dsdfamilies.org/donate

==

Stop using intersex people as pawns in identity bullshit. Particularly when you don’t know what it means.

For more information about DSDs, aka “intersex,” see: “Biology of DSDs - Exploring the basic biology of eight congenital conditions of sex development.”

[mimzy-writing-online]

You probably know this by now, I don't know if you keep up with Whumptober, but one of the prompts this year includes "blindness". I'm not blind but based on your posts about writing blind characters, and based on how I would feel if one of my disabilities were used as a whump prompt, I'm not super comfortable with it. I was wondering what your thoughts are on blindness being a Whumptober prompt.

(unironically and with feeling) thanks, I hate it.

Yes, I’m familiar with Whumptober, but I’ve never participated myself and I haven’t seen this year’s prompts.

Edit: I later did see the prompts and check out the blog. I think it's a good set of prompts and I look forward to all the promising content, especially since some of my favorite tropes are there. To be clear before you read this, I have no problem with Whumptober2021 or whump in general. This is not the first time blindness has been included for a list of whump prompts, and it won't be the last.

This post directed at the concept of "blindness" as a whump prompt and why I think it's a bad idea. The intended audience is individual writers thinking about future projects.

The timing of this is almost too perfect because I read a fanfic earlier this week that would meet that prompt exactly. Tags included whump, blindness, and angst with a happy ending. Now whump, hurt/comfort, and angst with a happy ending are tags I enjoy reading, but blindness as whump has a specific message to it.

To explain that message, I want to discuss what whump is. Many readers are already familiar with the genre, but I think taking the specific definitions and picking apart what it means and what expectations we carry when reading whump fanfiction

Urban Dictionary defines it as: taking a character and putting them through physical and/or mental torment and is typically followed by the same character being treated for their traumas. To indicate the characters place in the situation they’d typically be called a whumpee (the character being hurt/comforted), the whumper (the character that causes harm and trauma), and the caretaker (the character designated the helping/healing/comforting the whumpee).

Fanlore has a page for whump that explains it in depth, including where it started in fanfiction, examples of whump, and even a list of “popular targets” in different fandoms. (Warning: you might find yourself called out on the popular targets list)

“The term whump (or whumping) generally refers to a form of Hurt/Comfort that is heavy on the hurt and is often found in gen stories. The exact definition varies and has evolved over time. Essentially, whump involves taking a canon character, and placing them in physically painful or psychologically-damaging scenarios. Often this character is a fan favorite…”

To add to that, I think an important detail is the distinction Fanlore makes between hurt/comfort and whump:

“While some communities and fandoms may use whump as a synonym for hurt/comfort, there is still a recognition that whump refers to darker and more extreme scenarios. And there are still whump fics been written that have very little, or no comfort at the end of the story.”

The big appeal of hurt/comfort is getting to both explore the darker sides of pain and then experience the catharsis of being taken care of, of being supported by your loved ones as you recover from the trauma. The character is the proxy for experiencing those highs and lows while you yourself are safe at home.

I personally don’t read much/any whump without some h/c involved, but I’m happy there are stories out there for people who do enjoy it. I’m not here to judge what you like reading or what you do to your characters.

What I want is to express how blindness, my disability, used as a whump prompt personally makes me feel and what message it sends to me, to others, and how that message affects my daily life.

Whump undeniably involves watching a character suffer through something painful and traumatic.

My use of the word “suffer” is what I want you to focus on.

Vision loss can be painful and traumatic. I personally developed an anxiety disorder in response to vision loss. Others experience depression. For some it might result in relapsing into old, maladaptive coping mechanisms like drug use, self harm, or eating disorders.

A big part of my anxiety was how people reacted to my vision loss. It was a cause of their stress. They were worried because they genuinely believed I would never live a happy life without normal vision, and that my life would only be struggle and pain.

I recently saw an old friend who hadn’t heard about my vision loss. The conversation was awkward, but the worst part was how they reacted as though I had experienced an insurmountable tragedy. And even when I assured them I’m happy with my life, they clearly didn’t believe me. They acted like I was just lying or in denial.

I love that people want to empathize with my situation and ask themselves what they would do in my situation, but I hate when the conclusion they come to is something along the lines of “I could never do that, I’d be too miserable thinking about everything I lost, I’d never be able to do anything I enjoyed ever again.” But I did go blind. And I’m not miserable, I’m actually happy with the direction my life is going, and I still enjoy my hobbies, even if I engage with them differently.

I’m not suffering. My life didn’t end with vision loss. It’s not ruined, broken, or worthless.

I read a fanfic that was tagged with whump, blindness, and angst with a happy ending. A general synopsis of the plot: the whumpee had gone blind due to a curse. It was true love’s kiss that broke the curse. Even from the summary I knew it was going to end with whumpee being cured somehow and that I’d leave that fanfic vaguely dissatisfied no matter how good the rest of the fanfic was.

I can say this for the fanfic: the whumpee had already accepted that they would likely be blind for the rest of their life, but everyone around them was treating it as a tragedy that needed to be fixed, working tirelessly for a cure despite the whumpee’s protests that they didn’t have to.

It actually hit home to my personal experience.

I still left it dissatisfied with the ending. I might love curse fics in that fandom, and I love the “true love’s kiss” trope, but it wasn’t enough to distract me from the fact that: an actual person out in the world thought the best happy ending, maybe the only happy ending, would be if the character got their sight back.

(note: I clicked kudos and exited out of the story's page because no fanfic writer deserves unsolicited critique or hate, especially for content I consumed for free and at my own volition.)

Why read a story I knew would disappoint me?

Because blindness representation is so damn rare that I feel like I’m wandering in a desert, dying from thirst and desperate for that oasis. But sometimes that oasis is a mirage and the author is unintentionally telling you that your life is actually awful and you’ll never be fully happy like this. And that is a shit mentality to walk through life with.

I don’t appreciate blindness being a whump plot. I hate it. Hundreds (thousands?) of fanfictions featuring blind characters are about to enter the internet and the overall message is going to be “You poor thing! You must be in so much pain, you must be miserable! Who’s going to save you? Who’s going to comfort you? Wouldn’t it be terrible if there was no one in your life to take care of you? You poor helpless thing!”

And I feel objectified. I feel trivialized. The mirage in the desert is going to become a starch, empty room filled with dozens of water bottles, almost all of them poisoned. My representation is going to hurt me personally, and it’s going to reinforce that idea strangers have about how awful my life must be.

(I returned to school this past month, and every day I’m hesitant to tell someone I’m visually impaired because I don’t want to be treated differently. If I’ve managed to pass as sighted this whole time and then suddenly reveal “oh yeah, I’m visually impaired” I feel this instant silence, this pause of awkwardness as people suddenly question how they’re supposed to treat me. They treated me like a person, and now I’m something strange and unfamiliar.)

I’ve worked so hard to improve representation for blind people, to give internet strangers the exposure to a blind person they need to normalize blindness because I hope that if they’re ever so lucky as to meet a blind person, they’ll treat that person with respect. That hope that another person in the blind community will find a friend they feel comfortable and accepted with. I hope that I’ll meet people who accept my blindness as just another aspect of me (like being bisexual or gender fluid or a writer or a cat lover).

Please don’t turn me and my community into a caricature. Don’t erase everything I’ve worked for with this blog.

To be clear, this is not just me saying "I hate the cure trope" again. This is me saying "the purpose of whump is to painfully hurt your favorite character, and I hate that your idea of pain and suffering is my daily (wonderful) life."

[greysfall]

My 4444-word review of NEO TWEWY (with personal illustration + heavy spoilers)

My overall critical score for the game is 7.5/10, while my personal enjoyment score is 8.5/10. This review is posted as I have 80% completed the game, got the secret ending and achieved the Angel psychic rank. I’ll first start with the main pros and cons as follows.

PROS:

-        Enjoyable as a whole, still upholding the first game’s spirit in world building and sharing the same backbone - which was mostly revealed in the Secret Reports, it’s impossible to grasp the story without reading them.

-        The new cast and new game is charming in their own way

-        The old cast’s return is one of the biggest highlights for sure, it was fun and impactful. Everyone stays true to themselves and also had their own stories wrapped up nicely.

-        Boss designs are cool, new pins are fun to use and collect

-        The connection between the old and new cast is well written and executed, including but are not limited to the tension between the old and new protagonist, the weird but fun interaction between the 2 Composers, the new friendships revealed and formed

-        Sho being in the main cast is something so uniquely TWEWY and uniquely Sho

-        Still good music

-        Still many fun side quests, some of them really uphold the same quirky spirit of the old game and some are surprisingly touching

-        Many new nice stores and yummy looking foods to explore

-        The map is really easy to memorize for me, it’s fun to travel around the “current” Shibuya to see all the differences compared to the past

-        The social network is crazy and interesting to read through

-        Has an anti-frustration system to help 100% complete the game more easily and earn money faster, so post-game is relatively managable.

-        Overall, I really feel the efforts the team poured into making this as their passion project, not just during the development process but for all the last 14 years. They showed the vision of what they wanted to make, at the same time giving something to both the old as well as new fans.

CONS:

-        The biggest problem with the game is scenario writing. The story is so heavily back-loaded. The director himself thought it would be better to balance out the tension flow by adding more at the beginning but gave in to the scenario writer in the end, probably due to time pressure. This results in an underwhelming execution of characterization and lots of wasted potentials for the first half of the game.  

-        I struggle to view it as a stand-alone game, since the backstory and the old cast both play such an important role in the core of the game. If someone plays this game without having played the OG, they can only enjoy it on surface value at best.

-        The new cast is nice but most of them aren’t quite as intriguing as the old cast, maybe it’s cuz they’re all too nice deep down that they lack a little bit of an edge, of that batshit craziness that everyone in the OG used to have? I think some characters (Fret, Nagi) ended up weaker in terms of characterization because the writer is too afraid of making them unlikeable – which kind of backlashed cuz they only became likable in the most expectable way to cater for a specific group of fans. I would have wished for the other team leaders to be more crazy too, had they not suffered 30+ loops of the Game…

-        The CAMERAWORK IS HELL.

-        Gameplay does get tedious at certain points with all the time travels.

-        Shiba is so badly written as a villain, some Shinjuku characters should be given more screentime cutting into Shiba’s– like Hishima or Kaie or even, Hazuki (though his limited presence also solidified his importance).

-        Some of the main character designs, for example Beat’s hairstyle and his food reactions are hilariously bad. What’s the point of covering up most of his unique facial features?

-        Some of the minor/side characters’ design are too cool for them to have such a small role (eg: Ayano, Eiru). Ryoji did get much screentime but is nowhere as fun as Makoto was.

-        Overall the scope of this game is made a little too big for the team to handle as perfectly as the last game that was very compact, it felt somewhat rushed in development too so the missing pieces are clearly there in the final picture

The entry fee versus paying for it all in the end

An important difference between the Neo game and the original Shibuya game was that the Shibuya rule asked for an entry fee that is the Player’s most important asset, stated as a chance the Composer gives them to reexamine themselves. Meanwhile, the Shinjuku rule neither encourages nor allows personal growth and ultimately aims to erase as many Players as possible. It’s a pity we were never introduced to the full Shinjuku rulebook, as it seems like the system there focuses more on building up power and a grand government to compare with the individuality-driven system of Shibuya.

When you have to compare the new game and the original game (OG), this is an important factor to consider. Also, the OG has a serious storyline running through and through, locked with a different partner/GM creating unique atmosphere for each week and you don’t get to see your old partners again until the end. NEO’s team system does not allow such deep insight and communication between the Players. All of your teammates are always there throughout, the dynamic does change with each new addition but it is not as prominent as a partner change.

Another important factor is how the OG was built from scratch for a new platform as “something no one has ever seen before”, while Neo recycled a lot of old unused ideas from the previous development (check out this interview for more details). The development team for NEO lacks 2 key members and had a change of writer so the final product is not as strongly bound together as the last game.

The new cast is definitely inspired by today’s teenagers (from the view of creators), compared to the old cast they’re more sociable and always seem to take whatever works for them despite feeling unstable inside. They are all innocent and genuinely nice kids, avoiding to hurt each other to a degree that they end up keeping some sort of distance. They’re also unable to communicate at deeper levels, always stagnant at this half-baked stage of equilibrium without any motivation to get to the core of things. That is the cost of entering the game without an entry fee, without even dying or having a reason to be there/to fight seriously. These kids were stolen from the RG into a Game that was decidedly the worst environment for them to change or develop, just wandering around cluelessly to find a way “out” until tragedies started to unfold one by one and they ended up being charged the total sum of the price for their actions – ultimately losing everything in the end.

That is, I believe, a story arc which can resonate more to the youth of today rather than of my generation. If the message of the old game was to “listen”, enjoy life to the fullest and accept to trust others, the message of the new game is to “speak up” from the inside, trying to understand yourself and take actions instead of just going with the flow and finally, to take responsibility for such actions.

If Neku was handpicked by the Composer for being the special one with an all-dense soul to ensure victory of the game then Rindo was just a normal kid chosen out of random by Kubo to be his back-up plan, who just happened to have a high enough imagination to awaken the incredible power from his pin. Rindo was then officially chosen by the Composer as Josh picked up and handed the pin to him again, this time not as Josh’s personal Proxy – but as the Proxy to represent the normal people of Shibuya and via whom he could gamble if humans can fight for their own fate.

The underworld heroine and the hero with little of his own

Shoka is for me a refreshing and layered heroine. She’s the kind of character that took at least 3 trials of creators to form as a complete individual – that included Nomura who gave her the base design and Reaper background, Gen who gave a more cunning touch and the writers who made her English dialogues more punchy. Dishonesty equals “tsundere” is such a cliché, so the English writers tried really hard to avoid that trope in my opinion, while still letting her good intention come through.

She serves as the character who is informed of everything the players should have known, and there was almost nothing she could do about it. Almost. Until she met Rindo.

They were drawn to each other by sharing a state of “not having anything of their own”. They both started out with not being able to truly know themselves, Shoka even hated her RG life but also managed to mature from that stage before Rindo. She must have vibed with Shiki’s love and passion in the Gatto Nero threads, initiating her connection with Shibuya and understanding herself more. With Shoka as Swallow, they were able to open up to each other and offer mental support… but was still not getting to the centre of their problems because for all this time, Shoka could not tell Rindo the most important things about herself.

How did Shoka feel when she met Rindo at the UG? She probably didn’t want to hope that he would live the day until she witnessed the Twisters’ potentials. From the very beginning, they were both incredibly conscious of each other and also constantly frustrated that the person they happened to “notice” was such a condescending bitch/a clueless loser. The Shinjuku Reapers are overall quite drunk in power and uncompassionate to Players, Shoka included. She is also a master of dissociation, which results in her constant boredom, tone swings, haughtiness and subconsciously distancing herself from the friend – the boy she cares about – from false hope, as she judged from facts that it was a hopeless situation where nothing could ever be. Maybe she is naturally a bit of a chameleon just like her name suggests (Shoka 紫陽花 = hydrangea, the color-changing flower), so putting on an act and always dissociating herself from what’s important was easy, while hiding her contradiction was impossible. It was the ex-Reaper Beat who broke it out to her, that she should decide whether she really cared and wanted to do something for a change. He knew how it felt like to cross that line, and knew she wanted to too.  

Shoka is endeared by many of the Shinjuku Reapers and has shown independent acts of kindness (the Shinjuku ghost), proving that her kind and truthful side is as real as her harsh and dishonest side – which makes her a nice mirror to the previous heroine Shiki, who also embraced a dichotomy of self-complex and self-love within her character. In the end, she was the first of the new cast to ultimately accept all that is important to her and independently made the decision to help save Shibuya despite all costs.

She was jealous at Rindo’s interaction with Tsugumi and Kanon but remained silent cuz she wasn’t at a place to have any say about it. She also didn’t reveal about Swallow because that would only add an awkward irrelevance to their current situation, as she was too ready to face erasure at the end of the Game. She only wished to “play a game” with him, be it FanGo or the Reapers’ Game. The tension that the team could only feel at the end, she’s felt it the entire time. The song “DIVIDE” is applicable to not just one bond in the game, but it always makes me think of theirs. There is always a “divide” between her and Rindo throughout the course of their journey, as the living and the dead, as a Player and Reaper, as someone who has a place to return to and someone who doesn’t, someone who knows little but wields too much power and someone who knows a lot despite not being able to do much.

“If only I had the chance to connect with you on the other side

But time goes on, and without us realizing it

The battle is getting heated

Time goes on, and without us realiazing it

Divided again”

To be honest, maybe I didn’t grow any affection for the new main cast from Rindo’s perspective but from Shoka’s. Since I started to sympathize with Shoka, I started to see the boy in a more “real” way. The real Rindo, behind his peaceful façade with others, would lash out on Shoka for her unfairly harsh attitude while none of the others cared. He could also subtly feel that mantle of unspoken secrets from her, her own contradictions, the unresolved chemistry between themselves – and not knowing what to do with it rather than to feel angry with all the unfairness he could not process. (As a Libra too, he’s triggered the most by unfairness!)

It is actually a positive development as he’s at least “reacting” to something strongly now rather than to keep evading his problems. During my replay, I clearly saw the difficult situation Shoka was in, her remaining harshness after the Motoi incident was due to her internal struggle with a mission to save her own life, versus a chance to really be with the team. Her decision was to do both at the risk of losing favour from both sides. Rindo started to accept her layer by layer, as the person who resonated the most to her contradicting nature from the start and knew that via learning her resolve, he has learnt his too.

Later into the game, she even got too much of his attention. Maybe even without knowing she’s Swallow, he’s familiar with her thinking direction and Swallow had always been closer to him than any other friend. It was only after she had to betray her important ones twice that she could start being truly honest. The scene when she died a 2nd time left a strong impression in me, the little reveal let Rindo know that he is also losing Swallow as he’s losing Shoka – and that only death could drive the last secret out of her. Her final “Later, loser” echoed through Rindo as it was the final truth, with only him remaining to hear it: they had actually, already lost everything.

Rindo was the boy who never dared to face all that matters to him until he lost it all, fighting an unfair battle in the faith that they would somehow still win. Shoka was the girl who always knew what was dear to her, but never dared to think she could be together with them ever after and still threw her all into a battle she knew was losing. I think they stir each other on naturally to fill out their gaps, similar to what the Shibuya game partner systerm would have aimed for. The end reward was a little divine intervention to help close up the divide between them once and for all.  

During the game there was not enough space to process anything personal so at the ending when they officially became “friends”, it was an important affirmation of their bond. Some people complained it was friendzoning but it’s not, they just have arrived at the perfect place to start something more. “From now on, we will truly be together” – I read it as that kind of message.  

The heroine from a lost battle, with her story taken away

After reading the secret reports and playing the game to be surprised of how small a role Tsugumi had in the main game despite being the “Hype-chan” thought to be a major character of the next TWEWY installment, many fans would feel sad at a missed opportunity to see the Shinjuku arc in full depiction.

It was shown clearly that, a Shinjuku arc was very carefully planned out and is a vital part of the whole story, yet it could not be made due to various circumstances behind the development scene. I would assume, that the team were not able to make a TWEWY game that ended on a despairing note, but it already happened in their mind, thus becoming a mental burden that forced them to break away from it and started the game anew with NEO. A significant part of NEO became the healing arc for the Shinjuku characters, especially for Tsugumi though I really wished more emphasis should have been placed on her rather than Shiba. We didn’t even get to see her brother – Shinjuku’s Conductor who had a vital role and instead was given the clueless Shiba, who had absolutely no idea what’s going on all the way until the last day in NEO. It’s as if Tsugumi has had her story stolen away from her, because her own battle ended with a saddening loss.

I think every time the game creators look at Tsugumi, they would feel that sadness too. Maybe to them, she is a bigger character than what is seen by the fans, as despite their failed effort to depict her story, she’s lived in their mind for all these years through periods of destruction, healing and rebuild.  Though it is a pity we could not get to experience the full scope of the Shinjuku story, the creators was clear about the place they wished for it to arrive at.    

Individuality, connection and the social network

The team system adapted from Shinjuku rulebook does not allow much room for personal development, as the team dynamic is closer to a work relationship forced to bear results, than a spiritual bond to max out all corners of understanding as found in the partnership system. The old Shibuya system allowed only 1 winner and 1 week limit per game, while the new rule declares for a 1 winning team and only the team at last place will be erased – the other teams will enter another loop. Furthermore, whichever team to challenge the unwinnable Ruinbringers will face the risk of ending up dead last followed by erasure. As a result, the longest-standing teams are most likely not the strongest ever recorded, but the ones who have figured out a strategy to simply survive until something changes, enjoying their newly found social constructs while they are at it. Basically, it is a system to hypnotise players into the illusion that they are still “living”.

Therefore, we as players would not get to the core of each Player individually as fast and directly as we did in the last game. The Twisters were able to stand out not because they’re powerful, they only started to have a real chance after growing enough to each form a meaningful and personal connection to another teammate. It did not come as a team, nor did it intiate from the existing friendship between Rindo and Fret. In fact, I did not find much solidity or anything truly note-worthy about the main team and new characters within themselves until they started clashing with other team members, Reapers and new recruits from week 2 onwards. Rindo found his personal development with Shoka (via a clash with Motoi and pretty much a mini dating sim between them), then via the confrontation of his role with Neku; Fret found his with Kanon then Nagi, the team learned about the real Neku via Beat, Neku entered the UG via Coco’s wish to save Tsugumi… it was not the team but their personal links that empowered them to fight and solve each of their problems.

The other team leaders may have failed because they did not form such personal links, after 30+ hopeless loops Fuya’s team all fell apart to pursue their own interest even at the cost of erasure, Motoi quit his KOL façade to work like a dog for the Reapers (probably to save just his own ass not his team), while Kanon dropped her tricks to find changes via honest cooperation in acceptance of a fair loss. The despairing note in that is huge without making much of a scene because their failure didn’t happen at their best effort to “win”, but in their last attempt to find a way “out”. Even Shiba got his way “out” in the end thanked to his personal friendship with Hishima and Tsugumi.

Something has shifted in the mindset of the game creators in the last 14 years, as both games are about “connection vs individuality” but the last game focuses more on connection between just individuals and this one on the overall network that is formed out of those individual connections.

The introduction of Beat into the main cast was truly the bridge between old and new, they helped each other out in several turns before officially recruiting him. Beat is a character whom a lot of fans including myself have felt somewhat concerned about after Neku disappeared from the RG, so when the new kids welcomed Beat with warm and organic interaction and Beat seemed happy, I started to feel like I wanted to help them out too! I think the overall team chemistry is enjoyable enough for new players, but I could warm up to the new kids more from the pov of a returning character – whom I’m glad to be Beat, as the older brother figure who is genuinely kind, fun, serious and upbeat at the same time; who is needed and needs the kids in return.

The social network is a fun and refreshing feature. You can read all of the crazy tidbits about Shibuya and the links each character have formed with the town people, it’s also fun to visualize how the characters act off screen. Characters’ profiles provide extra insight into their background too, like how it reveals Tsugumi has been friend with Coco during her time in the RG. During the game when not all characters have showed up, you can sometimes guess which empty spot will belong to whom. For example there is a 1 character linking to Neky that is not linked to anyone else, so I could guess that was Joshua, and that another character linking only to Joshua was probably Hazuki, hinting that the 2 Composers are related before either of them even showed up.

Hazuki only showed up for 5 minutes, but his presence is so vital and true to the game that I think he is the most memorable out of the new cast. The two Composers have such an intriguing bond, with their yin/yang or phoenix/dragon themes, opposite color design, the sempai/kouhai tone and the way they keep some sort of distance/work relationship as if it’s mandatory between Higher beings, yet at the same time they can talk so casually because they are truly equal – and different from one another. I have written a separate meta on them here.

Some people pointed out, that all Shinjuku characters’ names and themes are based off Hanafuda cards and the Phoenix in Hanafuda belongs to the Paulownia suit – which is Joshua’s name flower. This is so interesting because it feels like the creators somehow saw it as a sign to interweave the Shibuya and Shinjuku storylines together. Though it doesn’t come out much on the surface, it’s fascinating nonetheless considering both Josh and Haz had at some point interfered with the other town’s affairs.

“Shibuya tour with Haz” was such a special scene, as it happened between 2 characters who do not/no longer have a reason to care about Shibuya, on the subject of what is worth saving about Shibuya. Hazuki carried out the purification of Shinjuku and stepped in to restore Shibuya just as part of his job and unlike Hanekoma or Joshua who both possess profound understanding of humanity, he really didn’t know humans at all. Rindo’s irrational wish invoked in him a sense of curiosity, to try gambling on something irrationally and learning a bit of what his senior have experienced. With all the pieces put together, it provides an overview on Higher beings as a whole, and that Joshua and Hanekoma are really the odd ones out with Hazuki being somewhere in between them and the rest.        

The old friends

It’s easy to have returning characters overshadow the new cast as they have already matured out of their personal story arc and stayed in our hearts for all this time. In the end, I have managed to enjoy both the old and new cast separately and altogether, and they will both find their own place in our memory of this game for the long term.

Sho is truly as crazy as ever, the game wouldn’t be the same if Sho is any less of what he is. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like Neky or Beat is younger than Nagi at all, with moments when it seems like Neky has aged 14 years instead of 3 years. His friendship with Coco surprised me pleasantly, and their interaction together with Beat was fun to watch. Rhyme’s found a new dream and her friendship with Kaie is precious too, especially considering that she can still talk to him online after the game ended. Josh and Neku’s interaction suggested that they have resolved the past and are on equal terms now, they even parted ways in good spirit and I don’t feel any worry about them like I did before.

Neku and Shiki’s reunion scene was beautiful, theirs is such a special bond that it has grown and supported them even without being able to see each other. I am so happy to see them all again and that they stay true to who they are, albeit looking more grown up, cooler and happier than ever before.  

Overall, NEO can’t become a classic on par with the OG, but is definitely a good sequel and a good game in its own rights. I’m happy with whether or not there will be a 3rd game to complete the 3 monkeys theme, but if there will be – I hope the creators can really find the time to learn from the last 2 games and start over with a fresh mindset and strong core.  

[claudeleine]

Did it ever occur to anyone that Wanda’s Roma background in the comics was BUILT on racist stereotypes? Similarly to M’Baku but also several others. And maybe that’s why the show runners stepped away from that..?

okay, so i think what we have here is someone who skimmed the original post in question (paragraph 2) and likely didn’t ready any of the links attached because that first message has been addressed already... but for anyone else in the same boat:

from gavia baker-whitelaw’s article:

Wanda and Pietro's Romani heritage was canon for decades (including in their non-mutant backstory), although this depiction often had problematic undertones. Wanda is literally a mysterious foreign witch, a damaging stereotype that acquired more nuance in later comics. But instead of updating Wanda and Pietro as modern Jewish/Romani superheroes (much like how Black Panther's charismatic M'Baku started out as a villain named "Man-Ape"), Disney whitewashed them. This casting choice was divisive in 2013, when The Atlantic highlighted the negative connotations of casting a white blonde actress as Scarlet Witch. Roma people are a marginalized ethnic minority, and Disney chose to erase their presence from the MCU.

...This rewrite was rather tone-deaf, because it involved Wanda and Pietro volunteering for neo-Nazi experiments. In the comics, their original parents were Holocaust survivors. Whedon also ignored the most obvious solution to Wanda and Pietro's non-mutant backstory: Django and Marya Maximoff, their Romani parents from the comics.

white washing characters is never the best solution. it doesn’t address the issue in so much as it just sweeps it under the rug. as well as perpetuating the idea that white is some unproblematic neutral that ppl can just default to. like can you imagine if in an attempt to “fix” how m���baku is portrayed in the comics, they just...put a white guy in the role? you can’t just remove a characters racial or ethnic background. no one is saying that her comic background hasn’t been problematic, but this isn’t the way to remedy that.

@scarlet--wiccan has an amazing post about the erasure of this whole family’s ethnic identity in the fox x-men films (x).

@villyns also has a good post outlining some examples of the mcu white washing rather than actually fixing the problem (x).

and here’s a decent article on white washing in media and why it’s a problem (x), quote from this article below:

Making a movie is not an easy feat; there are many things to take into account and even more people that you have to please, but there are also standards and morals to uphold. Whitewashing, blackface, brownface or yellowface is not just about denying jobs to minority actors, appropriating the stories of these groups, perpetuating stereotypes or keeping them invisible, it is about undermining their value as human beings and turning them into stepping stones, props, for white artists.

as for the second part. i think that’s entirely possible, actually. it’s done a lot to characters, where they won’t explicitly state their ethnicity but give them attributes from one (often stereotypes) and make them a caricature without making it, like i said, explicit. take the concept of jewish-coded villains in media. no one from disney has ever said that mother gothel in tangled is jewish, but it’s been pointed out by everyone that she’s jewish coded through stereotypes, ones specifically often used for “evil” witch-type characters, which is no coincidence: large, hooked nose, curly hair, greedy, etc. edit: hollywood uses coding like this often for racial/ethnic groups and the lgbtq+ community.

the maximoffs in the mcu and xmcu have never been explicitly made romani, with disney going so far as to change their parents romani names (django and marya) to oleg and irina. the name changes were unnecessary, except to distance the maximoffs from their original romani identity. the mcu changed their origins stories and cast non-romani actors to portray the maximoffs, and considering they went as far as to remove their jewish heritage as i mentioned before, it’s not a stretch that this is all an attempt to veil their romani background too. while they often joke about stealing and fortune tellers and poverty (the wv halloween episode really put it all in one place, but they’ve been doing it forever in the xmcu and mcu), i wouldn’t say this is an attempt to make them romani as much as it is to use a romani-esque caricature, to use it as a sort of “aesthetic” for the twins without acknowledging that it’s an ethnicity. the aspects they choose to keep are often either negative or painted in a negative light. i think the fact that el*zabeth ols*en continuously uses the g-slur to talk about wanda and costume design, speaks to that. 

and even if the mcu came out and said, “oh, our wanda is romani,” that wouldn’t change the fact that she’s played by a non-romani actress (who continues to use anti-romani slurs, despite knowing she shouldn’t) and that so far, they have not explicitly stated in the mcu that she is.

from gavia baker-whitelaw’s article:

Wanda and Pietro's whitewashing feels like an attempt to "neutralize" them. It frames their ethnicity as a problem to be avoided, rather than an opportunity to celebrate an under-represented group. This also meant that Marvel could cast famous white actors instead of sourcing an unknown Romani actor, during a period when the MCU was visibly uninterested in racial diversity.

But Marvel Studios wanted to have its cake and eat it, too. While Wanda is now white and Sokovian, her role isn't completely divorced from its Romani origins. It can't be, because everything in the MCU is informed by the comics. That's how we end up with El*zabeth Ols*n describing her Age of Ultron costume as "kind of this g*psy, vagabond feel"—terms that usually wouldn't come to mind for a simple black minidress and maroon jacket. Wanda's Romani heritage remains visible through veiled references and superficial costume choices, sidestepping any hint of meaningful representation.

from jessica reidy’s article:

Today, some Roma do call themselves witches, and serve as healers and spell-casters in a community, but make no mistake, being a witch is a job like any other. I was trained by my grandmother, I studied hard, I started a business, and I take bookings in my Google calendar. This is the context that most people miss when creating (or, in this case, adapting) Romani witch characters like Wanda Maximoff, and while the Scarlet Witch has plenty of magic, she does not need to fall into the stereotype, nor have her identity erased.

Representation matters. Wanda’s Romani ethnicity has been well-stated in the comic books, sometimes capturing the discrimination and violence that Roma face, and other times falling flat and stereotypical. Marvel also owes us, as Roma are often rendered as mentally unstable thieves, such as Dr. Doom, Wanda and Pietro’s community, and Wanda herself, and the entertainment giant capitalizes off of these stereotypes, reinforcing them all the while.

Every opportunity we get for accurate and positive representation is essential to us because it shapes the way people understand us.

linking the post i made again, because it has a list of articles and posts i’d recommend really taking the time to look through and engaging with them, as well as following folks like jessica reidy and @scarlet--wiccan​ on social media for more info from romani folks. 

[extravaguk]

sweets&ink

part of my opposites attract! series. 

ksj / knj / myg / jhs / pjm / kth 

pairing: tattooartist&tattoed!jungkook x baker!reader

summary: jungkook was everything you feared but exactly what you needed to heal your broken heart.

wordcount: 5k

genre: fluff - angst - smut (s2l!au)

rated: m (?

warnings: some cursing, mentions of past abusive/toxic relationships/trauma that might be triggering, a lil of making love at the end. it’s overall just suuper fluffy, trust me. jungkook is a s i m p. we love that for him! slow burrrnnnn.  

Jungkook knows it was love at first sight, but doesn's know how to really explain it.

He knew from the moment he entered the small shop, pastel green walls welcoming him  replete of sugary treats, a sweet and heavenly scent engulfing him as soon as he stepped a foot inside.  With a new found sense of calmness and serenity within he hadn't experienced in a long time, he searched for deserts of his liking, mouth watering while assessing the many options of baked goods available and bright colored frostings stealing his attention.

"Hi. How may I help you?"

Then he looked up and found you. It wasn't easy to appreciate your whole appearence with the counter hiding the lower half of your body, but it was enough for Jungkook to think to himself that he had never seen a prettier girl in hiis entire life. And that's when he knew it. Any type of movement in his surroundings coming to a halt, his heart skipping a beat, his favourite song playing inside his head. And that particular sensation. The same one that had made him feel so at ease since he found your bakery. For a moment he thought his doe eyes might have actually turned into heart eyes until you raised your eyebrows, a concerned expression replacing your previous warm smile. 

Blinking his eyes and clearing his throat, coming down from cloud nine into the real world, he stuttered his order as best as he coud manage, heart pounding inside his chest and later feeling mortified for not being able to pronounce "gingernap cookies" correctly. 

At first he kind of hated Seokjin for blackmailing him into going to his favourite bakery to buy his favourite cookies (Jungkook really should've known better than accidentally spill ink all over Jin's new script), but when he comes back home with a goofy smile on his face and dreams of your face, he makes sure to text him he'll go get his cookies anytime he wants.

But Jungkook is a masochist apparently. 

Because a week after your first encounter he realizes that not being able to get his mind off a girl he's literally only seen once in his entire life is not exactly normal. Not for anyone, but especially not for him. Realizes that the way he embarrassed himself in front of you and probably looked like a bluberring mess (or a creepy weirdo who had never interacted with any woman before) is not reason enough to not keep wanting to try again. And the way you just giggled at him and simply shook your head as you wrapped the ginger cookies he had asked for in a pretty packaging has kept him aching for more. 

So he comes once a week now. Still as nervous as the first day, but content to see that your face seems to light up at the sight of him stepping through the door the same way his does. He likes to see you in your cute pastel dresses, and if he didn't know better he'd think you were just trying to keep up with the bakery's aesthetic. But the more he frequents your shop, the more he realizes you're exactly like the treats you bake. He likes how your vividly honeyed persona contrasts with his darker and reserved one. Likes how you're all colors of the rainbow and he's just a scale of greys.

They are small interactions. Just courtesy and cordial exchange of words everytime he visits. He doesn't even know your name and you don't even know his, but sometimes he asks how was your weekend and sometimes you ask how many people had he inked that week. Sometimes he tells you how pretty you look, and sometimes you blush in response. Sometimes you add an extra macaron in his order and sometimes he debates on whether or not he should write down his number on a napkin and slide in right on the countertop before he waves goodbye. 

And although Jungkook has never been one to shy away from women, he feels a certain way he can't exactly pinpoint. A way that makes his confidence falter and leaves him feeling like a little kid who's afraid to confess to the girl he likes. Because as cliché as it sounds, you're not like any other girls he's ever met. You don't feel like any other girl he's ever met. Not the older than him, tattoed and pierced type of girl he's accustomed to; not the type of girl that's addicted to trouble and believe him (maybe even hoped) to be something he's not. So it takes a while for him to summon up enough bravery and determination. It takes weeks of pining and overthinking, and a single push from Yoongi ('stop being a fucking pussy and just do it') to ask you to have coffee with him.

"I... I'm sorry. I can't."

And it only takes those words leaving your mouth to shatter his heart into pieces. 

 It's fine though, he told you and himself. He wasn't going to be one of those guys who believed the 'friendzone' was an actual thing and tried his best to not make you feel uncomfortable, really tried his best to erase the guilt across your face as you rejected him.  So he scratched the back of his head and mustered up a big smile before leaving the shop with a bag full of cupcakes and an unsettled stomach.

Letting out a deep breath you didn't even know you were containing, you observe as the handsome stranger exits the shop. Running a hand through your hair before gripping the counter with your hands, you try to steady the heavy throbbing insde your chest. 

The boy in question had been unknowingly tormenting you and flooding your mind with thoughts of him for almost two months now. That day you first had spotted him eyeing the desserts in display in amazement and then you in the very same way. It was sudden and precipitated, but it had almost made your head spin, something you hadn't felt in a long time unexplainable tugging at your insides. 

You had kept your cool as best as you could, as best as you had taught yourself in the past. Wrapped those cookies he had asked and then waved goodbye, hoping under your breath he wouldn't come back but silently wishind he would. But then he did. He came back once. And then again. And again, and before you realized he had become a frequent costumer. Trying whatever treats you'd recommended him, creating small talk, sending friendly smiles here and then. 

You had learned to expect him at the very same time, the very same day of the week; had learned to manage the fluttering in your tummy and the reddish warmth spreading through your cheeks whenever the eye contact was prolongued. Everything was innocent, it was brief and, most importanly, it never went beyond, even if sometimes you hoped it did.

However, after all these years, there was still something you hadn't learned to control yet. And as he spoke, clearly nervous, hesitant and clearly out of his comfort zone, wondering out loud if he could ever treat you to a coffee sometime, your body shut down. The fondness and excitement you had been harboring over the last few weeks quickly replaced by that which made you want to recoil, made you want to back to your well to let its darkness and loneliness envelop you.

That horrible and ugly wave of crippling fear and axiety all mixed together; a little monster that you had successfully concealed, now displaying its ears in warning and the same smile that had been haunting you for years, now advising you, reminding you and most of all, threatening you, to go back to your own comfort zone. And so, powerless, there was nothing else you could really to but to comply, muttering an apology and a rejection that probably pained you more than it pained the boy in front of you.

You knew you did the right thing, but it definitely didn't feel like it. 

Especially a week later, as you expected his arrival- as always, ready with a tray full of fresh baked scones you had particularly made just for him, but were left severely disappointed when time passed and he was nowhere to be seen. Or two weeks later, after spending an extra hour making cake pops that you had specifically designed with him in mind (covered in dark chocolate and white sprinkles), only to realize it was closing time and that he never even showed up.

 To say you were bummed was an understatement. You knew you always looked forward to him coming in every week to grace your day with a smile and a polite talk, but you didn't come to terms with how much you would miss it until now. So three weeks later, you still bake with him in mind, trying not to lose hope but still chastising yourself for not being brave enough and accepting his offer. It was just a coffee date, for God's sake, not a marriage proposal! Trying to busy your mind with work and customers coming in and out, even if your eyes dart in anticipation everytime you hear the door swinging. 

When hours pass and the sun hides to make room for the moon and stars into the sky, you look at the clock and, with a defeated sigh, finish cleaning and tidying around the shop. But before you can gather your things, the door swings open and there stands the stranger you had been praying to see again. 

"Am I too late?" he asks, and you don't exactly know but can tell his words hold a double meaning. You smile, a genuine smile, because he looks bashful with a hand scratching the back of his head like he had done the last time you saw him, and because there's a warm sensation spreading through your chest, like your heart is smiling for you. 

"I was about to close, but I can make an exception." you accomplish to say and surprisingly don't sound as nervous as you feel. He mirrors your smile as he walks closer to the counter. "So, what would you like?" 

That takes him by surprise because he really had nothing in mind when he decided to come here and now he feels like an idiot. 

"Uh, um... I would like... maybe cupcakes?" he sounds like an idiot too. But you nod and smile at him and start gathering his cupcakes into a polka dot cardboard box.

"You missed the cake pops I made last week." you say, trying to keep your voice in check as he hands you his credit car. "I think you would've liked them."

"Ah, sorry... Work has been really hectic." and even if it's true, it's also true the fact that he chickened out and was frightened to face you again. He likes how even when you're alluding to his absence, there's not a malicious tone behind your words. He likes how you're still smiling at him even after he's been acting like a pussy for two weeks. But that's why he's here. "I also would like to apologize for... you know. I didn't-...If I made you feel uncomfortable, I'm really sorry."

With your eyebrows raised, your smile dissipates. "What? No, you didn't do anything wrong, really. It's not- It's not that. I just...can't." you stumble through words, trying to explain how much you actually wanted to go to that coffee date, to get to know his name and more of himself, but unavailable to. You can feel it again. The same anguish that always seem to creep up on you and numbs you altogheter. But him, worriedly sensing your distress, waves his hands in front of him.

"No, no. It's fine, you don't have to explain anything! It's alright!" his smile seems to soothe you and you return his smile in gratitude. "Anyways, I'll... I'll get going. See you next week?"

You nod, anticipation already making its way into you. "See you next week." and then he takes the box filled with cupcakes and says goodbye. Before he can open the door though, a tingle of impulsivity and fearlesness makes you say:

"I'm _____, by the way."

He pauses, clearly taken aback.

"Jungkook."

Jungkook hasn't stopped repeating your name in his head ever since you gave it to him, grinning like a fool and thinking about how good it sounds next to his. He hasn't stopped frequenting your bakery either and has lost count on how much money he's spent on muffins and whatever else you sell. He doesn't care though. All he cares about is how much likes seeing you even if it's only for fifteen minutes in your floral dresses, and as long as you keep looking like you're glad to see him every time, then he's fine. 

He's more than fine. He feels amazing. Sings tunes while he works on customers, feels his creativity flowing more than ever and he feels whole. It still baffles him how a minimun interaction with you once a week can make him feel on top of the world. 

He's got a bouquet of white and pink lillies next time he visits, so sappy and romantic he doesn't even recognize himself. He doesn't tell you he googled their meaning and his mind instantly associated them with you. Purity is exactly what he thinks of you and admiration is exactly how he feels about you. Hands it to you and the surprised look on your face and the spreading of pink all over your cheeks makes his heart burst. You thank him and he tells you he didn't know what your favourite flower is. You answer it's carnations. He writes it down somewhere in his mind, for next time. And then you're the one surprising him.

"Would you like to have coffee sometime?" 

There's uncertainty in your voice that doesn't go unnoticed by him, and for a moment he thinks he's dreaming. He's cool with what he's got right now with you, but you repeating his words back to him makes him feel euphoric, like he can't believe it. He knows he looks dumb, the way he's looking at you. 

Completely dumbfounded. He stutters like the first same he met you, but he says yes (omits the part where he tells you he could almost die). You exchange number in each other's phones with shaky hands, set the day and hour, and then wave each other goodbye. 

You instantly regret it as you watch him leave. Keep regretting it the following days. That voice in your head telling you 'it'll happen again', telling you fairytales didn't exist and this most likely wasn't one, even if it felt like it was, suffocating you like it had done many times before. Screwing with your head until you consider canceling. 

But you power through it, like you had taught yourself to do. This time it's harder though. Because this time there's a new romantic interest at hand, one that's making you feel things you buried a long time ago and made you swear to yourself you'd be smarter and stronger than any man could. 

It's Hoseok's encouraging words that help ease the panic. It was also Hoseok's words who encouraged you to ask Jungkook out. Said you deserved something good for once and that you couldn't close yourself to love your entire life. 

Thought it was time for you to write a new chapter after a rather sad one. 

So on Saturday, Jungkook insists on picking you up and it already feels like too much for you. Especially when he shows up with a bouquet of carnations in his hand and a smile that takes your breath away and definitely doesn't help to ease your nerves. 

Takes him by surprised how pretty you look.  maybe because it's the first time he's seen you out of your shop and even though you're still loyal to your clothing style, he still fumbles with his words like an idiot to try to express how beautiful you look. Seeing he's as much of a mess as you settles you a little bit. Then he takes you to a cute café that almost makes you laugh, because seeing him, inked arms and piercings and a closet that consisted mainly of black oversized t-shirts and pants in such a bright environment reminds you of the first time he entered your shop. 

You're surprised to see how well the conversation rolls, how easy it is to talk to him beyond the usual brief interactions you two have. You like how he makes you laugh and how he seems to love hearing it. You like how his attention is solely focused on you, even if his gaze on yours sometimes feels too intense and his overall character intimidates you. You like how soft spoken he is, how careful he is with words and the sound of his voice. Sounds like a lullaby without melody. 

And when the date is over, he drives you home, walks you to your door and respectfully wishes you a good night. You kiss him on the cheek spontaniously before hiding the embarrassment on your face and stepping inside your home. You miss the way he stays at your doorstep for a whole minute before getting in his car and driving himself home. You also miss how peacefully he sleeps that night, dreaming of cupcakes and you. You don't miss the heart emoji he sends you before going to bed, making yours quiver.

You're glad you didn't cancel, and now you're sure you don't regret it at all

It goes on. The dates, getting to know each other more and more, Jungkook's visits to your shop and spending way too much money on sweets and carnations, the butterflies in your stomach everytime he's near and the birth of something inside of you that's starting to make you feel alive after feeling dead for so long. 

It's still new, still wholesome, moves in slow motion. You're glad Jungkook doesn't push, doesn't ask for anything, never demands more than a kiss on the cheek everytime he drops you off. He is nothing like he looks like, you realized that right away.

But with every brand new beginning that requires feelings like this, especially as unique and exceptional as the ones Jungkook is causing within you, comes the evil monster trying to scare you off, to make you back off and remind you that not everything that shines is gold. The voice inside your head that keeps bewitching you back into a dark room, reminder in your head everytime that one day Jungkook will want more. He'll want more and you might not be ready to give it to him. 

A voice that keeps resonating and has kept you unmoving for the past few years and now is making you feel more frightened than ever. 

You've been more quite than usual and Jungkook can tell something is not quite right. It's a friday night, and after having dinner that he insisted on paying, he decided this time to drive you away, to a secluded space somewhere where you both can appreciate the city lights on the hood of his car. He can tell, so he asks you, but you give a vague answer. He wants to ask again, but he's afraid of overstepping your boundaries. He wants to get to know you in every level, want's to scratch the surface until he can see everything. He wants to learn you inch by inch. Wants to love every part you bare to him, because he's sure he will. 

"My ex partner was abusive."

You finally say with a voice that's not entirely yours, and it doesn't feel real. Doesn't feel real to say out loud and letting the words sink in. It's taken all this time of excusing behaviors that were not excusable, trying to make light of a situation that wasn't and blaming yourself for things that you were not to blame for. Jungkook stays silent, but his attention immediately focused on you as soon as you spoke. Eyes slightly wide and mouth starting to open as if to speak himself. But you go on.

"Not physically." you swallow a lump in your throat. "Sometimes he would throw things at me, but they didn't always land. Or... one time he pushed me while we were arguing. Never raised his hand at me though. It was mostly psychological and emotional. He was extremely jealous and possesive. Didn't like me hanging with my friends, would never bring me to hang out with him and his friends. Though I' was cheating on him with anyone. The cashier at the supermarket, a randome dude on the street that simply looked at me. Anyone." tears prickle your eyes, but you'd learned to hold them back.

"He would always get mad at me. Would already wake up angry and take it out on me. Without reason. Would always blame me for everything. He would get mad, insult me, call me any terrible name you can imagine, tell me I wasn't worth shit. That I wasn’t worth living.Then he would punch the wall, or break whatever was in sight. Everytime, I told him I was terrified of him. Would cry in a corner and beg him to stop. Sometimes he would just laugh at me for it." you sniff, still looking straight at the city lights, and trying to keep a composed tone throughout. You had grown up a lot since then, and you knew Jungkook deserved to know you. He deserved to understand. 

"Then he would calm down, apologize while he cried and promised he loved me and would change. He never did. It took me a long time to finally walk away, but the demons still haunt me to this day. You," you choke, because comparing your ex to the guy currently sitting next to you was like day and night, like heaven and hell. "You make me feel things I've never felt before. I always felt like asking for respect was asking for too much. And then here you come, like a knight on shining armour ready to sweep me off my feet. It felt like a dream. Still does..."

Jungkook's hands are balled into tight fists, his whole body rigid as he listened to you. His own heart breaking, like he could feel himself inside you and experiencing your own heartbreak. His blood's boiling, jaw so tight and eyes blinking. Pushing down his anger, because this is about you not him, he lets his body relax before sliding your hand in yours. 

"I like you so much,_____, it literally kills me at night how much. Not as much as hearing all of this, though. From the moment I saw you, I was whipped. I wanted and still want to give everything I can to see that smile of yours. It's me the one who can't believe you're paying me any attention at all." you're still not looking at him, but he still sighs in relief when your lips quirk up. "Just having you here next to me and letting me take you out on dates is more than enough for me. Whatever you give me, whatever your terms are, I'm content with that. You're healing, and while you do, I'll be right here."

You look at him now, not bothering to hide the tears streaming down your face anymore.

"What if I never heal completely?" there's fear in your voice as your eyes meet his, but just the dark brown in his gaze help you feel secure, less worried about the future and more serene about the now.

"I'll still be here."

It doesn't take long for you to call it love.  

Not when Jungkook keeps proving himself to be so different and so special. Not when his gestures never cease to make you feel so special, so worthy of recieving and sharing love. Because Jungkook makes you feel invincible, makes you feel one in a million. 

"What to you even see in me? We're like, polar opposites." you ask him one day. And it's true, you are. So different from each other, yet the same. He laughs in disbelief, shaking his head, still holding your hand in your doorstep about to kiss your cheek goodnight. 

"I see everything." he simply says, eyes boring into yours in adoration. "I see the sun, and the moon, the stars, the entire galaxy when I'm with you." your heart clenches as he interlaces his fingers with yours. "Before I met you, I felt like I was blind. Like I was lost and was looking for an exit that I couldn't find. But then I saw you, in your little bakery, with your cute dresses and those eyes, and it was like my eyes opened for the first time. Everything made sense. Everything has been filled with so many colors ever sinc-" 

You shut him with your lips on top of his, emotions pulling at your heartstrings the same way you pull him down by the neck. He takes a few seconds to respond, but then this hands are dropping to your waist, their warmth immediately spreading through your skin against the chilly night.

"Would you like to come in?" you whisper, breath fanning over his lips. He nods, hurriedly, and he knows he looks like a damn idiot for the hundredth time, but he doesn't care. Because coming in doesn't only mean stepping in your home. Coming in means you're letting him in. Means you trust him, means you want him there, means you're allowing him inside your heart. 

Again, Jungkook doesn't expect nor demands much. Your presence is everything he needs. You kissing him is like winning the lottery to him. Like completing a marathon, like climbing the Everest, like getting his first tattoo. Kissing you is sweet, fills him with something strong that makes him feel on drugs, like nothing matters but you and him. Like nothing has ever mattered to neither of you. 

So it's you who leads him to your room, it's you who straddles his thighs and pushes his hair back as his hands carress your sides. It's nothing fiery. It's slow, tentative, and full of care. Of lingering touches, low sighs against each other's mouths. 

It's you who reaches inside his shirt, hand sneaking past the hem of the fabric and trembling cold fingers coming in contact with firm skin. It's also you who asks for more with a small roll of your hips. It's you who asks him to take his shirt off. It's him who complies. Still tells you you don't have to, you tell him you want to. 

It's you who asks him to touch you. He's scared like he's never been, because you're you, and you're so perfect and everything he's ever wanted and suddenly he's afraid of you're too good for him. Jungkook only wants to make you happy, never wants to see you cry, just wants to treat you the way you deserve. 

It's you who begs.

It's you who tells him you need him. Need him take care of you, need him to show you much you're worth, need him to help you write a new chapter, probably even a new book where you're both the main characters and nobody else has ever existed. You say it with tears in your eyes, and he's quick to kiss them away, tongue entangling with yours. He's quick to undress you as well, with hands that still ask for permission even after you've granted it already. Hands and lips that are also quick and eager to learn your body, to find every mole in your skin as he lays you back to look at you in admiration. He keeps kissing you. From head to toe, muttering praise, making sure every 'beautiful' and 'gorgeous' and 'perfect' that leave his lips stay fire engraved in your being forever. 

He first makes you cum with careful fingers and skilled tongue, thighs wrapped aro around his head, eyes still looking for yours as his hands keep your body still and yours crumple the sheets beneath. Tells you how good you taste, how long he's been dying to have you like this. Tells you this you his favourite sight as he kisses his way up. 

You beg him again, asking him to please, please, fill you up. He groans against your mouth and he tells you again, you don't have to. He says he's happy like this. Repeats he's in no rush and just wants to please you and make you feel good. That it's about you, and will always be about you. You beg him again, and again and again, enticing him with a trail of wet kisses down his neck, up to his eralobe. You whisper there, tell him you need him to fill you with his cock so bad. His whole body goes rigid as your legs wrap around him, legs pulling him closer to where you want him, his erection grazing your entrance and his teeth nibble your lower lip. 

Jungkook doesn't move for a while, eyes closed shut, jaw clenched and head buried in your neck. He doesn't move because his mind is somewhere else keeping him stagnant, pussy wrapping around him so good and wet and tight he's about to bust. Takes a while for him to move, but when he does he makes sure to grip your thighs around him, keeping you close, never wanting to let go as he tells you you were made just for him. Just for him. Tells you how good you feel. He tells you he loves you. Kisses your lips as you sob, tears threatening to spill from your eyes. He tells you he loves you. Tells you he'll love you forever and will always keep you safe and happy. 

You're crying now, cheeks wet and he stops for a moment to look at you, concern written all over his face as his hands craddle yours, wiping the tears away with his thumbs. "We can stop, baby." You shake your head no. Pull him back into another kiss, urging him to go on. You tell him you love this, love him so much. That it's a good thing. That they are happy tears. That you've never been happier. And then his hips start moving again, your words egging him own, soft whimpers and sobs leaving each other's throats until you cum at the same time. 

He then removes himself from you, rolling onto your side but he's quick to pull your body close, arms wrapping around you and lips kissing away the wet stains on your cheeks. 

It doesn't take long for you to know Jungkook would be the healthy forever and after you had always dreamed of.

[hellsbellschime]

Why Jaime Lannister's GoT Ending Was Actually Bad

Nearly every aspect of the end of Game of Thrones earned ire from the majority of the show and book fandom, but one aspect of the show's conclusion that seems to have frustrated fans across the board was the ending for Jaime Lannister. More specifically, that after a seemingly solid and nearly complete redemption arc, he returned to Cersei and King's Landing to die in a manner that somewhat works as a metaphor but didn't resonate well with the audience at all. And, while Jaime's ending was a flop, it didn't fail for the reasons that many viewers seem to think that it did.

The Lannisters are obviously some of the most complex and important characters in A Song of Ice and Fire, but one of the most interesting aspects of their family dynamic is that it was established far before the contemporary storyline actually began. And, while Game of Thrones seemed to paint it as if Cersei was a source of toxicity that Tyrion and Jaime couldn't get out from under the thumb of, the truth is that the bad apple that spoiled the bunch was never Cersei, it was always Tywin.

One of the most meaningful and important themes of George RR Martin's work is the long-term effects that abuse has on children, and there isn't really any example that is more present and potent than the horrific effects that Tywin's abuse had on all of his children, and how it affected them in different ways.

Jaime, Cersei, and Tyrion all have some of the most intriguing points of view in the entire story. And one aspect that all of their POVs seem to share in common is that while nearly everyone in their world perceives them as a villain, they all see themselves as victims. And the truth is, both sides of this coin are correct.

Yes, the Lannister children have done many horrific, irredeemable things in their lives, but they have also been the victims of extremely traumatic abuse that understandably altered their outlook on the world and on themselves in general. There is a balance between victim and perpetrator that needs to be struck with their characters, but one of Game of Thrones' bigger flaws was its inability to do that.

Unsurprisingly, nearly every character's book point of view grants themselves more sympathy than they should. Almost everyone sees themselves as a better person than they are or is capable of rationalizing away their bad deeds and focusing on their more positive decisions and personality traits. But this is of course one of the many ways in which George RR Martin utilizes his POV traps.

Translating a story that is told through the eyes of the characters themselves and filming it from a more objective third-person perspective means that plenty of important information is going to be lost in that translation. But one of the fatal flaws when it comes to the Lannisters is that, while Game of Thrones does still present Cersei as pretty forthrightly villainous, the narrative pretty drastically whitewashes Tyrion and Jaime. Essentially, it seems to take Tyrion and Jaime at their point-of-view word and treats them like they're much better people than they truly are. Thus, Jaime's ignominious end with the supposed biggest baddie of them all feels like a betrayal of his character development when it really shouldn't be.

Every character needs to be held responsible for their own choices, but the downfall of House Lannister really does rest in the hands of Tywin, and Game of Thrones ignoring that fact did a disservice to every one of the Lannister children in one way or another.

Yes, out of all of the Lannisters, Jaime was as close as Tywin could get to the golden child of his dreams, but it's easy to overlook that while Jaime may have been the favorite on the surface, every single one of Tywin's children was disgustingly mistreated, and the effects of his abuse all showed themselves in different malignant ways.

While Jaime may have gotten preferential treatment over his siblings, Tywin was never anything other than a terrible parent, and more importantly, Jaime's superior treatment only told him exactly how he could expect to be treated if he ever failed to live up to his father's high ideals. And of course, in many big and small ways, he did ultimately fail to live up to Tywin Lannister's exacting standards.

Tywin was a terrible parent because he was an abuser, but he also raised his children with his own values of pride, entitlement, and superiority. Obviously, the notion that they were simultaneously failures who had earned their own mistreatment but were also Lannisters who deserved to be above everyone else is opposing perspectives that are in constant conflict with one another, but it also seems to be how Cersei, Jaime, and Tyrion see themselves as constant victims while still perennially victimizing others.

George RR Martin has repeatedly discussed that one of the strongest themes of his work is the idea of the human heart in conflict with itself. Game of Thrones lost the plot with this in nearly every character adaptation, but Jaime's was one of the worst, largely because he is a character who has done some of the most monstrous and most heroic things in the story. He is both the man who doesn't hesitate to murder a child and the man who stopped a king from slaughtering thousands, and therefore his inner conflict is extremely vital.

Jaime's character arc in Game of Thrones follows a classic redemption arc almost perfectly, but that clearly doesn't seem to be the intent behind the character in the books. Yes, there is a part of Jaime that wants to be redeemed, but he does often revert back to his more brutal and nihilistic side, and his desire for so-called redemption seems to be driven more by how he wants the world to see him rather than how he wants to be.

And in that sense, the show did him a great disservice. Because there are many ways in which Jaime hasn't healed from Tywin's abuse, but the fact that he still seeks the approval of others in a rather superficial manner rather than developing a deeper understanding of true honor and justice is one of the clearest indications that, while Jaime does want to get out of the path that his father laid out for him, he is still crippled by what Tywin told him being a Lannister meant. And ironically, Tywin's belief about what being a Lannister means has essentially trapped all of his children into trying and failing to live up to that example simply because they can't survive unless they do.

Because ultimately, it's not necessarily just about what Jaime, or Cersei, or Tyrion wants. At some point, every single one of them has made obvious indications that they don't want to be a part of the legacy that Tywin Lannister laid out for them. But, when Game of Thrones presented Tywin as a super-intelligent master strategist instead of a completely unnecessarily violent and aggressive asshole, it made all of the Lannister children's choices harder to understand.

Both in the A Song of Ice and Fire and Game of Thrones fandoms, Tywin is typically put up on a pedestal, and that's completely baffling. Many viewers and readers perceive him to be brilliant and badass, but everything that Tywin is famous for actually makes him seem like a complete moron upon further contemplation. Winning battles by absolutely obliterating your enemies is a terrible precedent to set for many reasons, but one of the biggest is that it essentially requires all of the Lannister children to maintain this scorched earth policy because Tywin's hyper-aggressive superiority complex has put them in a position where they almost always have to choose to kill or be killed.

And, his cruel and dishonorable behavior as well as Jaime's reputation as the Kingslayer essentially guarantees that even if Jaime completely changes as a person and becomes the hero he wants to be, he really can't ever become that in the society that he lives in simply because the stigma around the Lannisters is something he can't escape.

That is one of the great tragedies that Game of Thrones failed to articulate, and that is one of the biggest reasons why Jaime's character conclusion was so off-putting to the audience. Because the audience saw the result of where this character arc would naturally go, but the story never actually took the steps to get there. In fact, the show went out of its way to erase a lot of the obvious building blocks that are leading up to both Cersei and Jaime's demise that makes it clear that, while they're obviously responsible for their own choices and actions, the groundwork that Tywin's abuse and cruelty laid and set in stone was something that they couldn't control, prevent, or undo.

Game of Thrones largely presented Jaime's characterization with the implication that if he could only escape Cersei, he would be a good man. But the reality was, if only Tywin hadn't been his father, then all of his siblings would have been better people. They may not have been good, but they almost certainly wouldn't be the kingdom-destroying villains that they became.

I also think the TV series likely bungled his character in that his story is meant to be a subversion of the classic redemption arc rather than the straightforward bad guy to good guy story that Game of Thrones told. George RR Martin obviously doesn't like flawless characters, and nearly every person in A Song of Ice and Fire does good things and bad things all the time, they never go in a straight line from point A to point B. So, of course it was going to be incredibly jarring when the show did move Jaime in a straight line from point A to point B and then abruptly gave him an ending that is probably somewhat similar to his end in the books.

But with that in mind, for all of the faults in Game of Thrones and the way they handled Jaime's character arc, I don't really understand the idea that his character was ruined by his ending either. These characters are clearly designed to never be just one thing, and if Jaime killing King Aerys or trying to kill Bran doesn't singularly define his character, then going back to Cersei in the very end shouldn't either.

[neon--nightmare]

thinjks about. fresh

​THINKIN ABT…. his whole survival at whatever cost to other people, yourself before everything and everyone else mindset and how he assumes everyone else thinks that way too because he can’t comprehend anyone thinking different… but how he ALSO understands on a logical level that people with emotions will do irrational things for the ones they care about, and that he can use that, but it still baffles and even frustrates him…

thinks abt how he calls them stupid to justify it to himself and give himself a reason that makes sense, otherwise he’d just be mentally endlessly going around in circles on something he can’t comprehend, so he tells himself they’re just stupid and emotional and don’t make sense so HE doesn’t have to give it more thought

THINKS ABT….. in recovery, how hard he’d have to work past that mindset that everyone around him could be an active threat to him at any time, that if they call him over somewhere private, that they aren’t waiting to ambush and kill him, because that’s a mindset he’s been FORCED to learn, that he’s learned since he was created because otherwise he wouldn’t have even survived the three years he’s been alive, he HAD to live like this and internalize it and he’s never known any different

that he met the only person who loved him as he was, unconditionally (his first experience with any familial bond, he’d never had anything close to a family, he’d always been on his own and he LIKED it that way because other people are too unpredictable, and irrational, and even temporary allies were just tools to be used too that he would turn on in a heartbeat to get the upper hand instead of them doing it to him)

but in every single way that he thought about it, pacifrisk couldn’t be getting close to try and hurt or kill him unless they were planning with the others in a galaxy-brained plan just to get him to let his guard down before they struck, but he’d be prepared for that, or if they were somehow predicting all of his reactions, even the completely irrational ones where he got angry and lashed out that surprised himself just to attack him at his most vulnerable, but they put themselves in so much danger that wouldn’t make sense either, they believed in him so genuinely and unconditionally, and then he lost them right before his eyes,

and that reinforced every single negative belief he had, that trusting and loving people would only hurt them AND himself, blaming himself for letting them get too close, blaming himself for letting HIMSELF get attached because he knew this would happen, that it’d only end badly and it did, that all of his paranoia was proven right and that was the first time he ever felt grief

thinks abt how fresh physically, mentally couldn’t feel happiness, or comfort, living a life where the only emotions he could ever access were anger, fear, and sadness, and he couldn’t cope with those three because he never learned how, that he lived in a multiverse where everybody he met could experience positive emotions but they were always out of his reach, and he was jealous, deep down, while telling himself it was just because he was BETTER than them, and made to be better, perfectly designed

and if he kept pushing the flaws down it was like they weren’t there at all and he could keep telling himself he would never sink to their level and be like the irrational, childish, emotional other people he manipulated every single day, not because he’d feel pity for them, but because it would mean he was like them, that he was weak, that he wasn’t above them at all, that he wasn’t perfect and not being perfect and in top 100% form all the time he would be erased and replaced with another just like him, but without his flaws

THINKS ABT…. How part of his recovery is accepting that being at the level of other people doesn’t make him inferior, or pathetic, it just means they live their own lives too and have value, and that if he got attached to someone he probably wouldn’t recognize that they were like the hosts he possesses and tortures unless the person specifically points it out and explains it to him because he’s always just seen them as toys, pieces in a chess game, served an important purpose and provided entertainment, or got in the way, and then he’d move on to the next one because it was just what he did and needed to do to survive

and hurting others was made to be the only way he could feel anything slightly positive, even then it was just a shell of what ordinary people with emotions felt daily but at least it was something, he was made for a purpose and designed in every way to fulfill it

thinks abt… how hard fresh would have to unlearn those mindsets in recovery, that he’d have to be in a safe place where he wasn’t able to be killed for showing weaknesses, how he’d have to tackle everything he’d repressed so heavily throughout his literal entire life, learn to accept that he isn’t perfect and that’s okay, that some people are nice just because they can be, and it doesn’t mean that they’re trying to manipulate him, or are waiting to hurt or kill him, that sometimes kindness is unconditional and real, that he can be loved just the way he is

and it wouldn’t be easy, it’d be so so hard, but i think that’s important too, and how even though all of his life experiences would always leave a permanent mark on him, and always be a part of who he is, if he wanted to (which is the most important thing, more important than you’d think, it would mean letting his entire world crumble down around him with only a chance it would be built back up, of which he would have to take the word of other, emotional, people, which he’s built the biggest bias against throughout his entire life and everything he knows, and and and)

but if he wanted to, and had people who cared about him, which could definitely be dangerous for them at times if he lashed out, and it’d be a long process, and he’d never be able to make up for all he’s done, all of this is so much harder than i make it sound, but…

he could heal, and be happy. accept other people as his equals. not live in only fear, anger, and grief. live a life where he could trust people, and be trusted back. and i think that’d be just amazing