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uselessboss · 2 years

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Obsession(4/4)

He hated Hunter since he first met him. An insolent who arrogantly believed it was in his rights to disrespect and disregard such as illustrious person as “her” just because he read some biased articles and reports. He honestly didn’t understand what Miller saw in this guy. Despite Miller being the one to bring him to the unit Hunter didn’t even try to hide his disapproval and hostility towards her. He spouted nonsense about watching her every move, acting like as if he was someone responsible at keeping tabs over a monitored criminal. This display of sheer stupidity made him roll his eyes. The only reason to why he didn’t openly give the fool a verbal lashing was because he knew that if Miller deigned it of any importance she could very well put the idiot in his place.. The fact that she didn’t even acknowledge his efforts showed how futile they were. So he tried to do the same. ...In hindsight maybe he should have followed up to what he wanted and told that trash off as things came up to a head when Miller started spending more time wtih Hunter until very late in the night because that bastard wanted to “check” the documents under Miller’s care. “You seem tired” Johannes frows as Miller tries to hold back an yawn. “Don’t worry, I’m ok” Miller assures him. “More importantly we still need to oversee this part here” “...Isn’t it because you are spending time with Hunter untill the late hours recently?” He couldn’t hold back anymore. “Miller, there’s no need to indulge that bastard! He doesn’t deserve your consideration” “I guess...” Miller tentatively spoke. “ I guess that seeing him try so hard to prove my “wickedness” got me feeling a bit stubborn myself” She sounded far more tired as her voice dropped to a mutter. Not because of a few sleepless hours, but for something that was going for far much longer. She had to endure this kind of treatment with no rest nor respite, so it was bound to have a breaking point. A very quiet breaking down. “... Should we wrap this session earlier? Maybe this way you can finish things earlier on your side and get more rest then?” He hated having to cut short their time together but he had to do it. For her sake. “No need for that” she shook her head, smiling kindly at his offer. “It wouldn’t be fair to ask you to accomodate to what amounts to a “childish tantrum” from my part” Her eyes sparkle mischiveously for a moment. “Unless... It’s you who would rather be somewhere else, in which case I wouldn’t mind” “Of course not” was his immediate answer. “If anything I would rather spend MORE time with you” It took a few seconds for his brain to process what he just said.

“My apologies” Miller chuckled. “I guess I got that habit after spending so much time with Hunter” Johannes feels himself freeze at that. “You wouldn’t believe how easily flustered he gets” Her voice sounds fond. “You should have seen his reaction to when he found out I knew he was looking over my stuff, he was panicking like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar, it was kind endearing in a way” Usually he enjoyed witnessing any moment Miller dropped her guard and showed this side of hers around him but for some reason, this time, it only made his insides turn. He didn’t know why but that made him hate “that man” even more.

It was testament of Miller’s strenght that she could fight so well despite the lack of proper rest on top of her already numerous duties. She was really built different. “Miller are you... ok?” Hunter approached them. “It’s subtle but... Your movements seem less smooth than usual” Johannes felt his temper flare at that. “Oh I wonder what could be the reason” his voice was dripping with as much sarcasm as he could muster. “Whose fault it is that she gets held so late at work that she misses on getting a proper rest?” He turns to glare at Hunter. “If Miller gets hurt, or worse, killed because of that it will be absolutely your fault” It felt so satisfying to see that self-righteous bastard look so guilty. Hunter was about to to say something, but was interrupted as they both looked at Miller, who let a long sigh. “I was trying to hide it, but if my drop in perfomance is THAT noticeable then I guess Johannes is right” Miller rubs her face, dropping the act and showing how exhausted she actually looked. “It would be bad if it made me unable to protect others in their time of need” Hunter flinches. “Hunter” Miller calls him, the man in question quickly snapping to look at her. “If you still want to keep checking the documents I can drop them at your desk after shift is over” “That... Won’t be necessary” Johannes could barely hide how smug he felt at the sensation of Miller openly taking his side. That day promised to be a good day. ...It was what he thought, but again, as always, Hunter had to find a way to ruin it. “Miller, may I talk with you?” Hunter asked Miller as soon as they opened the door to exit their meeting room. “Did you change your mind?” Hunter is taken aback by how very matter-of-fact Miller is. She wasn’t being sarcastic or accusing. She honestly believed he wanted to follow through his earlier behavior. It made him look more guilty if that was even possible. “No. I came to apologize” Now it was Miller’s turn to look surprised. “I noticed that you were getting tired but I paid no regard to your well being” Hunter’s face dropped. “My behavior was inexcusable. I had no right to treat you like that” “Glad you finally noticed that”. “Johannes!” Miller chides him. “Miller” Hunter calls her name, for the first time without a speck of animosity. “I want you to believe me when I say that it was not my intention to get you hurt or... Worse” “I know that” her face softens. “It would be not in your nature to wish that when you are such a good person” That day marked a shift in the relationship between these two and as for him... For him it was the start of his world crumbling apart.

Nowadays was the only thing talked in the force. In the news. Everywhere.

Miller and Hunter had gotten much closer than before.

These two already worked pretty well together while on the field before but now that Hunter stopped being hostile towards her and Miller opened up more to him they became more in synch than ever.

It was already frustrating enough but what made it worse was everyone's reaction whenever he appeared and caught tail of their whispering. It was their pitying looks.

They treated it as if it was a foregone conclusion that he was going to be ousted from his position as Miller's second-in-command.

As her closest confidant.

He couldn't take this anymore.

"Miller can I ask you something?" He frowned as he saw Hunter next to her. "Alone"

Miller blinked at the emphasis of the last word but didn't argue agaisnt it, nodding in agreement as they went to their usual meeting place, a quiet room where there was only the two of them.

"Is something wrong Johannes?" She asked, concerned.

"If... I wasn't your second-in-command anymore who would you pick to fill my spot?" He shot straight away.

Miller froze.

"Why... Are you asking that?"

“…Would you pick Hunter?” He pressed.

“Hunter? Why would… Oh.” She arched one of her eyebrows before something clicked in her mind. “Is this because of the rumors circulating around? Don't worry, I don't have any plans to replace you and Hunter would be the last person I would consider for such a role. He becomes too awkward whenever put in the spotlight for that to work"

“Oh. I see"

He should feel relieved with the reassurance but for some reason her words did little to quell the inquietude he felt.

He still felt troubled.

He was so caught on his thoughts that he failed to notice Miller's worried expression as she looked at him.

-o-o-o-

This unnamed feeling bothered him.

It wasn't like the greediness he felt whenever Miller was concerned, that motivated and spurned him to reach even greater heights in order to earn her attention.

It was something ugly. Hideous. Unbecoming.

He felt threatened.

Of what, he wasn't sure, and that's why it troubled him so much.

He couldn't understand how he could feel jealous of someone sorely lacking like Hunter when he excelled above him in everything that mattered in order to support her.

(Besides fighting prowess but it was a nonissue when Miller was clearly better than both of them at that and didn't seem to need protection)

The moment when he saw HIS coat hanging over her shoulders as she gripped the corner tighter to cover her body was when he finally understood his irrational emotions.

She acted vulnerable around him. She bared herself, expression adoring, filled with a sweet affection like a… Like a…

Like a woman.

He felt himself go in shock as this realization dawned on him.

It should have been something obvious but he was so caught up in his admiration, thinking of her qualities as his superior that he never stopped to think about how he felt about her in that regard.

Miller was a woman.

And a desirable one at that.

Earnest, genuine, humble and attentive. She listened to what you had to say and treated it as if it was something WORTH to listen to.

He blinked quickly, briefly snapping out of his reverie as his eyes accompanied the movement of Miller’s hand as it brushed the wet locks out of her forehead, uncovering her old burn scars.

Nimble, elegant and sharp.

Powerful, indomitable and imposing.

They sounded like paradoxical concepts but Miller’s body was crafted to embody them to perfection.

It made her mesmerizing to watch, even when she wasn’t figthing.

Because Miller knew how to make use of every single aspect of herself to appeal to her ends.

She knew to look confident, she knew how to look majestic and she even knew how to make use of her scars to bring her experience and intimidation upfront.

Miller was really someone stunning in each and every way possible.

Now that he finally figured out the true nature of his feelings the path he had to take was clear:

He was going to make Miller notice him. But not as her second-in-command like before.

He was going to make her notice him as a man.

Fate was a cruel mistress.

“What.” he said flatly.

Now that he finally realized his feelings and was finally prepared to fight tooth and nail to make her notice him “that way” she dropped a bomb like that.

“I did promise that I would help you to rise in the ranks right?”

“I don’t want that” he rejected in a heartbeat. “I changed my mind. I prefer to work with you Miller”

“Johannes you shouldn’t let your admiration for me get in the way of your progress. You are meant for greater things than being my subordinate”

“I didn’t consider even once as if I was lowering myself for getting this position” he furrowed his eyebrows. “Where did you even get such a ludicrous idea in the first place?”

“Then why did you ask me that day about your substitute?” Miller asks, nails digging on her arm.

“What are you talking about?” He arch an eyebrow in befuddlement.

“I... I thought at first that you were worried about being replaced because of the rumors but you still looked troubled even after I tried to reassure you that wasn’t the case” She lowers her gaze. “... After that how else was I suppose to interpret it?”

“... You really think very little of me, don’t you Miller?”

“Huh?” Miller snapped her head back in surprise.

“If it was Hunter you would make excuses to forgive and vouch for his “goodness” “ he spats bitterly, his jealousy and hurt hearing its ugly head. “Yet you treat me, someone that has been nothing but loyal to you, as a untrustworthy backstabber”

“Johannes that’s not what-”

“Oh but it is”. He cuts her off. “You didn’t even try to argue it and you sure was very quick to find a way to kick me out.”

Miller winced.

He couldn’t stand this.

For the first time he ignored her pleas as he simply turned and left.

He was scared.

Scared of his worst fears being true.

‘It’s better if I cool my head’ he thought. Maybe tomorrow we can sort things up properly.

But things didn’t get any better the next day.

“Johannes, if Hunter tries anything, stop him” Miller asked him.

This was so unfair.

That guy was half-assed with his feelings, unwilling to fully commit and yet Miller went out of her way to accomodate his needs.

Why couldn’t she do the same for him?

Why couldn’t she fight to keep him the same way?

There was no just fight here. Things were skewered to the other side since the beginning.

It stung how hopeless his situation was.

That his rejection was a foregone conclusion.

“... Hey Hunter, want to go after her?” he provoked.

It was often told to him that he was good at getting under people’s skin so he might as well as put those skills for good use right?

He sounded pathetic even to his own ears.

But he was desperate at this point.

If Hunter disobeyed THIS order maybe even Miller wouldn’t be able to forgive him for that.

So, even through it hurt him to speak such terrible things of the person he adored the most in the world he kept pressing on.

Betray her already. Betray her already. Betray her already. Betray her already. Betray her already. Betray her already. Betray her already.

He repeated it like a madness mantra in his head.

Yet, despite hitting Hunter with his best arguments the man didn’t move.

Even if he was half-assed, still on the fence about his opinion over her integrity, he refused to betray her.

‘Ah... This bastard also sees her as a woman’

It was... His total loss.

Miller would pick Hunter in the end.

It was truly unfair.

“…Well, I’m done wasting myself away for her sake so I am going inside.” He adjusts his coat. “I sure as hell won’t let her take all the credit to herself”

He might as well as be the traitor then.

Because it was better to believe that he was kicked out of her life for deserving it rather than accept that he meant nothing to her in the first place.

He was out of breath.

He had been running for a while now, trying to escape from the clutches of whoever was that thing of nightmares following him.

“Miller was right, she was always right” he smiled bitterly as he remembered how she vehemently emphasized to not let anyone enter the forest.

Miller... At this hour she was probably already out of this hellhole and Hunter surely would have told her everything about his betrayal.

What face did she make when she heard the news? Hurt? Disgust?

Hate?

Maybe she would order everyone to ditch him and leave him to die here, alone, in this cursed forest.

He couldn’t even get mad or complain if that was her decision because that’s what he had been asking for when he pulled this stupid stunt of his.

“Johannes!”

His eyes widened in surprise.

Miller... Miller came back for him?

He struggled to get up as he had lost a considerable amount of blood.

But hearing her voice, knowing she was there for him renewed his forces and his hope.

Everything would be alright now.

Miller was here. He was safe now.

“Over here Miller!” he shouted with all the strength he could muster.

“Johannes! Ah I’m glad you are ok!”

She was... Glad?

After everything he did? After he betrayed her trust like that?

He was such a fool.

How could he lose faith on her like that? How could he forget?

This was the same person that mobilized her entire unit to save his life when they were barely acquaitances, that got angry for his sake when he was almost discarded like trash.

“M-Miller, I...” He was going to apologize when he suddenly felt a sharp pain.

Ah...

He was... Dying.

“No! No! Please No!” Miller screamed in anguish as she increased her speed.

She wasn’t going to reach him in time.

He knew that because he could see in the corner of his eyes something sharp fastly closing on him.

She wouldn’t be able to save him this time.

Yet he was grateful all the same. Because like that time, when everything looked hopeless she had came for him.

It brought him comfort in his last moments.

“...”

No. That was a lie.

Because whenever Miller was involved he couldn’t help but be selfish and greedy.

#My useless invincible boss #Hills Johannes(useless boss)#Crowa Miller(useless boss)#Wolf Hunter(useless boss)

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genshin-obsessed · 4 years

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May I suggest Venti, Xingqiu, Kaeya, and Zhongli with a fem!S/O who's very shy? Like, shy to the point where if anyone besides them is with her she doesn't speak at all. She's basically mute unless she's alone with them. Hope this makes sense! - 🌼

I have an emoji anon 😭😭 I’ve always wanted an emoji anon🥺🥺 also like this works so well cuz traveler NEVER talks and it’s Paimon lmao (if that’s why you requested it/that’s what you meant, i know. im slow)

I really need new banners TT^TT I’m so slow at making them

He has so much high energy, so he’s surprised that someone as shy as you can keep up. But then again, he talks ALL THE TIME. So conversations are really easy with him because he does all the talking.

He was really surprised when Paimon was doing all the talking, he just assumed maybe you couldn’t. It really sparked his curiosity, but you were so busy in the beginning that he never had a chance to ask.

He wanted to ask, but stopped himself because he found it disrespectful and the last thing he wanted to do was offend you. Although the question plagued him all the time. Every time he thought of you- which was constantly, really- he wanted to know why you were silent. Did Paimon know? Would you ever tell him?

But none of this stopped him from falling in love with you. There were so many qualities to you that weren't you talking. That being said, his eyes almost popped out of his skull when you spoke up.

WHY IS YOUR VOICE SO CUTE!?! WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT?! TALK MORE!

“Woah. Hey, no, talk more. Please talk more.”

He thought it was weird that Paimon was doing all the talking. He wasn’t going to push it, but it was rather odd and it stuck with him.

Throughout the time you spent together, he desperately wanted to hear your voice. He tried to ask multiple times but chickened out.

He also wanted to ask why Paimon kept talking but didn’t want to insult you, so he stayed quiet.

One day he saw you and Paimon wasn’t there. You waved happily and SPOKE. YOU SPOKE HIM.

He froze. His entire body turned into a statue and his eyes widened. You tilted your head and waved your hand in front of his face. It took a moment before he blinked and grabbed your hands.

“Talk. I have to hear more of your voice.”

He thought you were the quiet type, he didn’t know you just never talked. All you ever did was nod and shake your head.

After knowing you for a few months, he was convinced that you weren’t able to talk. He was tempted to ask on numerous occasions but it felt so… rude.

He didn’t mind it at the beginning, but after he started catching feelings, he desperately wanted to know. He didn’t realize how much it had started bothering him.

Kaeya started thinking you might’ve just never been able to speak. He noticed you never talked to anyone. Not even Paimon! Paimon often asked you yes or no questions and you would then respond by nodding or shaking your head.

That was all until one day he met up with you and didn’t see Paimon. He asked where your companion was and you told him she was away for a bit. It took him a second to register that you had SPOKEN. YOU SPOKE TO HIM. He immediately asked why you had never spoken before.

You shyly responded with the fact that you were just really shy. You only felt comfortable talking around him and Paimon.

“Well, you have a beautiful voice… and I feel really special.”

He didn’t really notice at first, actually. He did note that you were quiet and shy, but he never stopped to think about how he’d never heard your voice.

One day, you were all (the team you play with +Zhongli) just spending time together and he just randomly realized he’d never heard you speak. Usually Paimon did all the speaking for you. He didn’t mind, but he was curious.

Zhongli actually let it go for a minute. He didn’t know how to ask and besides, it wasn’t that important. If you wanted to tell him, you would. So, there was no need to stress over it.

Well. There was no need to stress over it BUT HE STRESSED ANYWAY! He often found himself just trying to hypothesize why you weren’t talking. He thought at first maybe you couldn’t. Maybe you hated your voice, maybe it got stolen >:0

Well. He tried to plan how he would ask you. He wanted to be as nice as possible, the last thing he wanted to do was disrespect you. He actually couldn’t do it and asked Paimon instead.

She told him you could talk and you just didn’t like talking around anyone but her. Zhongli acted like it didn’t hurt, but it hurt a little. Did you not like him? Did you not trust him? Maybe you didn’t and that thought hurt. But one day, you showed up on his doorstep for an adventure and just spoke. THE WAY YOU SAID HIS NAME HAD HIM MELTING.

“W-wait you can talk!? Oh, I’m sorry. I.. I didn’t mean to seem so disrespectful, I just thought you couldn’t. But… I really love your voice. Will you please talk more so I can listen?”

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin kaeya #genshin venti #genshin xingqiu #genshin zhongli #kaeya x reader #venti x reader #xingqiu x reader #zhongli x reader #kaeya headcanons #venti imagine #zhongli headcanons #genshin xingqiu x reader #xingqiu headcanons

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emeraldiis · 3 years

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Mirrorball // I

A/N: there will be a part two!! dont worry!!

AO3 Link

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Word Count: 2.9k

Summary: Reader hides her insecurity under a guise of unwavering happiness, but Loki ends up finding out the truth. Meanwhile, Loki struggles with feeling worthy of love.

Warnings: suicidal ideation, insecurity, misunderstandings, angst

Loki wasn’t sure why you lived with the Avengers. Sure, you were one hell of a good cook, and you bartended at Tony’s numerous parties, but surely you could do that while having a place of your own. Normally, Loki wouldn’t have given a second thought to where somebody chose to reside--even if he couldn’t understand people’s willingness to be anywhere near Stark--but you were driving him insane.

When Loki had first arrived at the tower, it had been a cruel and unusual punishment. House arrest at the very place that he suffered a humiliating defeat, with the very heroes that had defeated him. Of course, not many people were very welcoming. He was permitted to roam about the tower as long as he stayed on good behavior, but that didn’t mean all residents were alright with it.

Stark was the easiest to deal with; his jokes and quips about Loki’s unfortunate ventures to rule, well, anything stung, but the malice behind them faded with every passing day. After all, it had been a long time since New York. Banner and Wanda were another story. They treated him politely enough, but the fear behind their eyes whenever he passed by made something rotten stir in his gut. No matter how much he attempted to redeem himself, people still saw him as evil. A villain.

It seemed as if Steve and Thor were the only ones glad to have him there. The Captain’s open arms had come as a surprise, but Loki was intuitive, and very quickly realized that Steve saw him in the same light as he did the Winter Soldier, Bucky. And in a way, Loki could see the similarities. They had both done awful things--albeit under far different circumstances--and were now working on gaining the trust of the ones kind enough to give them a second chance.

So Loki found himself seeking out Bucky’s company far more often than any of his other acquaintances. It was a strange sort of companionship, but it worked; Bucky usually opted to listen instead of speak, giving Loki the opportunity to ramble on about whatever grievances he held that week. There were usually a lot, and Bucky was the only one who didn’t offer him useless advice. He simply nodded along, fixing Loki with that thousand yard stare until he had finished.

And then, of course, there was you. All smiles and playful energy, with a raunchy sense of humor and a sharp tongue. You were much smaller than him, in terms of height and stature, but he often felt dwarfed when you were in the room. You just took up so much space with that reckless attitude and need for everyone in the room to be laughing. In an odd sort of way, you reminded him of a clown. Not because you were goofy, or funny looking, no. You just...made people smile, held their attention and made it your dying goal to be there for entertainment.

The first time Loki had seen you, he was quick to notice your easy beauty. It was rare that he found a Midgardian woman to be attractive, but he couldn’t deny that something about you just appealed to him. You weren’t a supermodel, nor were you drop-dead gorgeous in terms of Midgardian standards, but you had a very real-life grace. You didn’t look like those dolled up actresses he often saw on the television, you looked more natural, something that instantly caught Loki’s eye.

He had been reading quietly in the common room of the Stark Tower, having been forced out of his room by Thor to “at least be present, brother.” The other Avengers droned on about petty events while he attempted to tune them out. And then you stormed in, bringing a sense of excitement to the room with your very aura.

You greeted each person individually, making sure no hero was left out, until your eyes settled on him. Loki felt a heat rise in his cheeks under your intense gaze, and shifted uncomfortably. He brushed off the feeling as it simply had been a while since he had spoken to an attractive woman, not wanting to admit to himself the effect your presence had on him.

“New guy, Loki, psycho murderer,” you rattled off, still staring him down. Loki felt as if you were a cat, and he was the poor mouse that you had selected as your new plaything. “Which do you prefer?”

That caught him off guard. While he was still somewhat unfamiliar with Midgard’s social customs, he was at least sure that this was not a normal way to greet a stranger. That, and the disrespect warred with what he was used to: women on Asgard bowing to him, treating him with the dignity that a prince deserved. Despite the surprise, Loki’s aloof outer demeanor was not shaken, and he let the strangeness of it all roll off his back as he replied, “How about ‘God of Mischief?’ Or, if that is a bit too wordy, I would be open to ‘King Loki.’”

Your eyes lit up, and Loki found himself having to fight back a smile. His unconscious reaction left him feeling confused and slightly frustrated. Why was this mortal girl sending his emotions in a whirl? Loki scrambled for some sort of reasoning that didn’t have him looking pathetic, and settled on the idea that it had been a while since he had bed a woman, and you were particularly attractive. It only made sense that his body would react in ways that he had not expected.

Lost in his head, Loki barely noticed you were speaking again. “I like this one!” You said, clearly excited that he had matched your banter with ease. “New best friend acquired.”

Once again, you had left Loki reeling. Best friend? He wasn’t sure if he had ever had one of those before, and certainly not with someone he had just met. In fact, he wasn’t entirely positive that he even wanted one. Especially in the form of some over-enthusiastic mortal. Before he could protest, you plopped yourself down next to him on the couch. It wasn’t a very big piece of furniture, so when you settled into your seat, you were only a couple inches away from touching Loki.

He could feel the heat radiating off of your body, and once again, his heart fluttered. The urge to lean into you overwhelmed him, and Loki furrowed his eyebrows. God, had it really been that long since he had been with someone? The frustration at his stupid body for its stupid needs grew, and Loki made up his mind then and there. He would court you, then fuck you, and get over this silly little infatuation. With your earlier outburst at wanting to befriend him, Loki figured that it would be a breeze. With his silvertongue and charming good looks, he would have you squirming under him in no time. Easy.

But, of course, nothing was ever easy for Loki. You had managed to prove him quite wrong over the next few weeks. Your obliviousness to flirting was quite impressive, Loki found, despite even his most direct attempts. Every advance he made was thwarted by complete, and utter ignorance, coupled with the fact that you had probably not taken a single thing seriously in your entire life.

Loki would compliment you, and you’d grin wolfishly and twist it to make his words sound insulting, then cackling madly. And then was the time he “joked,” about getting you into his bed, to which you burst into a fit of giggles and said, “No way! I don’t want to be the other woman to Bucky!”

Loki had recoiled in bewilderment, and decided that enough was enough. Obviously you weren’t worth the effort, considering you never actually listened to anything he said. He’d just have to find someone who was capable of holding a conversation without turning something into a joke.

But...he couldn’t deny that he was constantly having to fight back a laugh at your remarks, no matter how hard he tried to convince himself that you were annoying, not funny. And even when he had abandoned his plot to seduce you, Loki found himself gravitating towards you. Truth be told, he knew how to be direct, to really get what he wanted, but every time he worked up the courage to just lean in and kiss you...something stopped him. Deep down, he knew that if you actually rejected him, then the game would be over, and something about that just seemed devastating to Loki. So he continued with cat and mouse, letting you deflect his advances time after time, because at least you weren’t actually saying no.

He’d wander in the kitchen while you were cooking, sit down to watch your favorite shows and movies, and had even taken to sitting on the roof with you late at night when neither of you could sleep. Loki couldn’t avoid it anymore. It wasn't a simple attraction that he felt, it was adoration. You, a mortal of all creatures, had captured his interest. Maybe it was your wit. Maybe it was your unshakable happiness, the ability to keep everyone’s spirits up in any situation. Maybe it was the crushing need to protect you, to protect that pure soul from the viciousness of the universe. Whatever it was, you had actually ended up as Loki’s best friend. And somewhere along the line, he had fallen in love.

You sat in the living room alone, knees curled up to your chest on the couch. The four walls of your room had felt confining, like a prison cell that kept getting smaller. Your usual place of refuge would be the roof. But you didn’t dare venture up there like this. With your luck, Loki would find you there, and you weren’t sure if you had the strength to keep up your carefree persona.

Loki had never seen you upset before, never seen you weak. No one had, if you were honest. You fought hard to keep a smile plastered on your cheeks to keep up the appearance of a girl who never faltered with her high spirits. In a way, it wasn’t entirely fake. Joking around and being joyous was your real personality, but it was also a defense mechanism. If you never took anything seriously, nothing would ever hurt. At least, that’s what you kept telling yourself. The anxiety that wrecked your brain stayed constant, though, making your life a constant war with your own mind.

Your friendship with Loki was a fragile one, or at least it felt that way. You often felt as if you were walking on eggshells; every word that came out of your mouth risked driving him away. He had seemed to enjoy your wild and snarky personality when you first met him, so you didn’t dare try to be anything else. You were afraid that he would lose all interest when he discovered that you were just as fragile as all mortals were.

It was risky having your breakdown out in one of the main rooms, but the risk was better than dealing with the claustrophobia of your lonely bedroom. Besides, it wasn’t like you were going to sleep anyway. Better to just wait for daylight where you could at least feel some modicum of safety.

In your misery, you had forgotten that Loki was not an easy being to hide from. You were pretty sure that it was damn near impossible, actually. He seemed to...sense...your emotions, when you were in distress. And though you never showed it, kept that unwavering smile plastered across your face, he always appeared when you needed a friend to sit with. Tonight was no different.

Like a shadow, Loki emerged from the hallway in front of you, piercing eyes quickly landing on your curled up form in the darkness. He raised an eyebrow at you when you refused to even acknowledge him. “Dear, would you like to go up to the roof? Away from prying ears?” He offered.

You shook your head, and shrunk further into yourself when he crossed the room to sit next to you. Loki looked a little uneasy, as it was rare that you were silent. Usually, he had to fight to get a word in when you were on a tangent. Not that he minded too much. Though he liked to talk, he held a certain fondness for listening to you.

Loki tried again to engage you. “Why not? I know it’s a bit chilly tonight, but you’ve never minded that before."

It was clear that the god wasn’t going away until you gave him some kind of response, so you gritted your teeth and lied. “Sorry, bud. I just feel sick, that’s all.” You forced a laugh, but it sounded strained. “I’d rather stay close to the bathroom. I’m not sure Tony would be too excited if I puked on his roof.”

Blue eyes stared into yours, and you could literally feel Loki not believing you. Of course the God of Mischief would be able to spot a lie from a mile away. Still, he didn’t push the subject, something that you were grateful for. “Alright,” he said, leaning back into the couch. “Would you like me to sit with you?”

Fuck, you didn’t want to have to reject his company a second time, but you really needed to be alone right now. Loki seeing you have a meltdown would be the last straw, and you’d just end up throwing yourself off of the Stark Tower. No, it was better this way. “That’s okay, you get some rest. I’m not gonna keep you up for something so small.” You still hadn’t looked up, afraid that Loki would see the glimmer of tears threatening to spill out of your eyes. “Besides, you need your beauty sleep,” you tried to tease, but your voice came out flat and dull.

Loki thought for a second, then sighed. “As your king, I override your decision. I will be staying here until you’re feeling well enough to sleep.” He waited expectantly, obviously ready for you to make some bratty quip about not being one of his subjects, but it never came. You just didn’t have it in you.

Now that Loki had fully sunk down on the couch, his body was only inches from yours. You wanted so badly to lean into the heat of his side, to bury your face in the crook of his neck and let him cuddle your fears away. Instead of following your instincts, you squashed the daydream like a pesky bug. Nothing about Loki indicated that he was the cuddling type. Hell, he’d never so much as hugged you. He probably wasn’t a big fan of physical touch.

Deep breaths, you told yourself. Just keep it together until you’re on your own. That’s when you stiffened. Loki had stretched a long arm around you, and was looking at you intently to gauge your reaction.

“Is this okay? Humans are very social creatures, touch can help provide some comfort if you’re feeling ill.”

Loki’s scientific approach to the entire situation almost made you break out into laughter. Almost. Regardless, it was too hard to resist when you had such an open invitation. You scooted closer to the god and leaned against him, letting Loki hold you tight.

Before you could even try to stop yourself, you had burst into sobs. Something about being held had just broken the dam, and you were weeping uncontrollably into Loki’s shirt, sputtering out apologies all the while.

Loki shushed you and held you tighter, and you could’ve sworn that you felt an aura of possessiveness in his embrace. “It’s okay,” he murmured into your hair. “I’m here to help.”

You didn’t know how long you cried for, but when you were finally able to rein in the tears, you were horrified. Loki’s shirt was soaked with snot and tears, and your face was most definitely swollen and blotchy with red spots. And, worst of all, you had just proven to him that you were weak, and not worth his time. This was a disaster.

Loki, hearing your sniffling come to a stop, pulled away to look at you, and bit his lip nervously before beginning to speak. “There’s something I must confess to you. Seeing you now, trusting me with your vulnerability-”

You cut him off by jumping up from your seat, knocking his arms away from you. Like hell you were going to listen to the rest of his rejection. You already knew what he was going to say. That you were weak, that he no longer wanted anything to do with you. “Listen, Loki,” you snarled, unable to mask the pain in your voice. “You don’t have to say it, I get it. I’m gonna go to bed, you don’t have to hang out with me anymore,” you said, rushing to get the words out before you died from humiliation.

Loki watched in bewilderment, his words of affection dying on his lips and you turned tail and ran out of the room. Rejected? By a mortal? He had never known such embarrassment. And you hadn’t even had the good graces to let him finish. His heart began to darken with rage and shame. Of course you ran away, of course you didn’t want to be with someone like him. No one did, he should be used to this kind of treatment by now. How foolish of him to think that you would be any different.

#loki x reader #loki imagine #fanfic #mcu #marvel #angst #writing

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ciggylungz · 4 years

Text

Eat your heart out

Blurb night- 1.8k words

(request: ok but what if u wrote one where y/n is a virgin and they finally did it after dating for months and then Harry's friends came to visit him and you overheard h talking how bad u are and all that angsty stuff...)

Virginity

The word means a something different to everyone. Some people save it for marriage, some don’t care about it, others tie it to religion. It’s all up to personal interpretation and value. For Y/n, it’s not that she didn’t want to lose it, she just never felt ready until she met Harry.

She had met him through a mutual friend, they were both invited to a birthday party and just got on so well they decided to get to know each other better. Dates, hangouts, and many hours spent together later they had become official and now they’re 5 months in and going strong.

A few nights ago, she had finally felt ready. She had communicated to Harry at the start of their relationship she’d never been intimate with someone before and it might take her a while to feel ready to be so vulnerable with him, but eventually the night came and while it was a bit clumsy filled with trial and error she thought over all it was a special experience. Harry had made her feel comfortable, he had made her feel like she was beautiful and made him happy, so she’s completely confused and crestfallen at the words she’s hearing come from his mouth echoing through the spacious house.

“mate, it was bad. Like proper awful, I almost gagged at some points from how bad it was.”

A cruel laugh followed his words. Her chest felt hollow, like her heart had caved in just from his words. She couldn’t bring herself to stop listening, she guessed she was just a glutton for punishment because the hurtful words just kept coming.

“I thought being with a virgin would be hot!”

She heard the voice of one of his friends exclaim, she had never hated the sound of someone’s voice before that moment.

“so did I! it’s why I put up with the wait, thought she’d be bloody tight and a good shag, but I was dead wrong. She barely got wet; she didn’t even taste good! I couldn’t stay hard for shit, pretended to cum and everything just to get it over with. I didn’t know sex could be so bad!”

Another round of cackles and random bullying comments were made about Y/n among the group of men, at this point Y/n felt worthless. She felt like she failed, she felt dirty and stupid. Everything he’d ever said to her was now being questioned. she swears she could vomit.

“Jesus H, what a waste of a pussy innit? Don’t worry can get some girls lined up for you this weekend. Can trip and have a proper orgy, deserve it after pity fucking that dud.”

“Thank god! Need a good fuck after that nightmare. Line up a good few for me yea?”

Humiliated didn’t even come close to describing how Y/n felt right now. Not only had her boyfriend objectify and completely embarrass her to his friends, she’d just heard first hand that he hated it so much he had faked his orgasm, and was planning to cheat on her with multiple women in less than 24 hours. She was sick, her heart stomped on and her feelings completely crushed. She’d never felt so worthless, stupid, used and disgusted with herself. She had confided in Harry how she was scared to be vulnerable, afraid to be intimate with someone because she wasn’t ready to be so open and bare with another person. Harry had told her how she was worth the wait, how she was beautiful and he loved her but now she knew none of it was real. He’d just wanted to be with a virgin, and he hated the experience.

The vomit crawling up her throat had finally reached her mouth, the girl darting towards the bathroom to empty her churning stomach into the toilet tears springing to her eyes as her body tried desperately to purge out all the hurt yet the waves kept coming.

If anyone had heard her getting sick, they didn’t care since no one even called out her name. The girl didn’t even feel like an actual person anymore, just a defective object who was disposable. She couldn’t be here anymore, the emotional pain starting to manifest into physical symptoms as well. Her head pounding, stomach turning and ears ringing. It took all the energy she had left to shove some of her things into her bag to take back to her flat.

The girl was too humiliated to even face them, to confront Harry or mention what she had heard. She internalized all of it, pulling her hood up and ducking out of the front door silently. She suddenly felt lucky that the living room wasn’t in view of the entry way so she could slip out without detection.

----

y/n didn’t bother to leave a not nor text Harry about her departure, making her way on foot to the underground to get home. She hadn’t driven her car there since Harry had picked her up, and she didn’t have any service to get an uber so she opted for the easiest option.

The majority of the train ride she spent with her head down, thoughts racing as she desperately tried to suppress the sobs begging to be let out. she somehow managed to keep it together until she got into her flat, as soon as she shut the door her back was against it pained sobs wracking through her body.

When her bottom finally hit the ground she was reminded of the bruises she’d woken up with on her hips and ass from where Harry had gripped onto her.

Maybe that’s why he made me switch to all fours, he was so disgusted he couldn’t even look at my face. Maybe that’s why he seemed to get angry, I couldn’t make him feel good.

The soreness didn’t even compare to the internal injuries his words had left her with. It was as if she’d been clawed from the inside out, every hurtful word slashed at her organs. Her mind burning with self-hatred, insecurity and disgust towards herself. Y/n had always been insecure, she struggled with body image and confidence since she was a child and this ridicule of her natural state and what was supposed to be special tore her limb from limb.

She didn’t know how long it had been, she seemed to zone out finding herself laying in fetal position on the wood floors of her home. Her back was still pressed into the cold steel door, using what was left of her to stand to her feet and lock it, sliding the chain lock as well just to make sure there would be no chance of anyone disrupting her decent into the void of pain.

She didn’t get much sleep that night, her head wouldn’t stop pounding and her thoughts never eased up. She’d gotten a text from Harry asking where she was, her only sending a simple message saying she was feeling poorly and went home in reply.

Harry left her on read.

It must have been many hours since the sun had rose then set again in the time she’d laid still between her covers. She hadn’t gotten up to use the bathroom or eat. She didn’t feel like a person anymore. She didn’t feel like she held any worth in any sense to anyone, seeing as no one had reached out for her in the hours she’d been MIA, not even the boy who supposedly loved her.

Y/n shifted her gaze to the clock on her nightstand, she then knew it was Sunday. It had been almost an entire 48 hours since she’d moved from her spot and by now she was sure Harry had been balls deep in numerous other women. Women who could give him everything she failed to, women who he desired and could get off with. They must be everything she’s convinced she’s not. Pretty, sexy, desirable, loveable, worthy of Harry’s intimacy. Something he regretted ever engaging in with his own girlfriend.

---

It was 10 in the morning on Monday when Y/n’s phone finally dinged. By Sunday night she had managed to drag herself to the bathroom to relieve herself and brush her teeth, yet she only then returned to her bed to lay in a depressed shame filled coma of sorts, she truly felt so heart broken it was like her body was giving up on her.

She caved and looked at the message, feeling another stomp on her deflated heart when she saw it was from Harry-

“you alright? Stopped by your work, they said you haven’t called out but you never showed?”

Y/n had forgotten about her job in her spiral, but even now she couldn’t bring herself to care. She knew she was already on thin ice with her manager for taking so many days off to see Harry preform or visit him on his breaks so it wasn’t a surprise if she got fired. She didn’t care though; she knew if she lost her job she’d be another month late on rent and end up being evicted since she couldn’t scrape together enough for last month either. This would lead to her likely having to move back home with her mother or find a hostile somewhere for women, yet she didn’t care. It seems silly that something as simple as someone commenting on her sexual skills would put her in such a state, but that’s not really the main focal point in her mind.

The thing that hurt most was knowing Harry had only been with her to get to take someone’s virginity, and she’d disappointed him so badly he talked shit about her to his friends and made plans to cheat on her. Harry had completely disrespected, objectified and crushed her, and he didn’t even know she knew but she decided he shouldn’t have to know she knew what he said for him to realize it’s wrong. He’s an adult man who knew full well how hurtful and horrid his comments were about someone he had claimed to love. He should have spoke to her if he felt that way, yet instead he played her and tossed her out like rubbish.

Harry broke her heart, one he’d known was already fragile and timid. He’d still said all those nasty things about her even after the nights he’d let her cry into her chest about how much she hated her body, how bad her self-image and confidence was, the way she felt like she was never good enough for anyone. His actions only confirmed what she’d always feared to be true.

Harry didn’t love her.

#harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles angst #harry styles imagine #harry styles writing #harry styles blurb #blurb night #harry styles smut #harry styles au #harry styles x reader #harry styles x yn #harry styles concept #harry styles oneshot #harry styles blog #harry styles request

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jyunshiim · 3 years

Text

Catharsis *✬★*’☽* ✬ ⤷Jungkook X Reader au | Part 1

Genre → supernatural | some angst | romance | historical (ish)

Contains → vampire!Jungkook | romance | supernatural concepts |

Listen to → Catharsis

Word count → 12K ( 12247 )

TW → some mentions of death, blood and gore

Chapters/sequels → coming soon

Summary: After being told the Tales of Prince Jungkook, you were curious to discover more about the history of your town and the abandoned castle you were forbidden to enter. You discover who he is and why he was he had such fate but you also discover who you really are. Little did you know, your family’s history and the towns history intertwined. Will the past ever leave you?

Centuries ago, legend had it that vampires and werewolves and many other supernatural creatures roamed the grounds of your hometown. The mountains were inhabited by these supernatural creatures and the mortals objected to sharing the land with these callous creatures since they believed they were bad luck. This mystical town was at the edge of war; riots between the mortals and immortals would transpire every full moon, blood and wounds in every direction. Of course, the King sat and observed; what more could he do when the two separated societies loathed each other. There was little power over the hatred they had for each other, nothing could keep them apart for the selfish humans craved destruction, blood and death. The Castle sat towering over the town, holding its status. Red skies sheathed the firmament that loomed over the now silent town as the King stands at the large stained glass window that looked over into the town. He could see the clear separation between the mortals and the and immortals; he sighed. As much as the King tried to keep them civil, it would never happen. He turned around to see his son gazing at the shelves and the paintings that were hug up in the King’s private study room which was located in the tallest tower of the castle. His finger brushes over the leather cover of the books and took one that was a book on Folklore which interested him the most. “Father, can I borrow this?” He holds it up to his father and his father nods in affirmation. The son takes the book and runs down the spiral staircase and finally down the large staircase that faced the vast wooden double doors to the castle. He pulled the rings on the door to open them and ran down to the front green space which was enclosed by evergreen trees arrayed along the front. He went down and sat on the verdant grass, the evening air gentle and pleasant. He flicked the page open; there was a contents page on all these supernatural creatures from vampires, witches, psychics, sirens, werewolves and many others. He was invested, he wanted to learn more about these creatures, but he didn’t know the history of his bloodline. Years prior to 1864, the King studied Vampires and how to kill these creatures, how to abolish such vile specimen. His family were hunters and studied how to capture, torture and kill vampires. He peacefully read the piece of literature, immersing himself and broadening his knowledge. He heard the sound of heels climbing up the stairs of the castle and it was none other than she, the love of his life, the one the Prince was going to marry. She was beautiful, divine piece of art, everything he ever wanted. He jumped up onto his feet dropping the book onto the grass. “Evening my dear Prince, Jungkook,” she curtsied to you. He felt his heart thump out of his chest. “Oh please, do enter my father must be waiting for your arrival,” Jungkook opens the door like the gentleman he is. Her smile was everything to him, he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. He kept a photo she gave him as a token of devotion and love, she loved him too, but she waited for the time the King arranged the royal wedding.

As the love of his life walks into the main hall, he goes back to grab his book which has seemed not to be where he dropped it. This was a strange occurrence, and he didn’t know what he did with it. Jungkook began frantically searching behind the bushes until someone pushed him over to the other side of the bush. “looking for this your majesty?” A tall male with a dark demeanour approached from behind him holding the Folklore book. Jungkook was angered by the utter disrespect he experienced and tried to grab this disrespectful man. “uh uh, it’s not very royal of you to grab a commoner like this is it?” he scoffed. As Jungkook blinked, the man vanished – where did he go – Jungkook was confused. He brushed himself off and sighed as he attempted to go back into the castle but he was tackled with super speed by this man. Everything turned black. He awakens, his neck and head in pain and his stomach growling in hunger. He thought he was pushed over and hurt his head and neck, only having a minor concussion on his head.

He thought nothing of it, the man must’ve attacked you since the King wasn’t favoured by a lot of people, so the prince was leverage to get back at him. He gulped, trying to cure his dry throat and entered back into the palace. The girl was sat at the dinner table along with his father and the girl’s assistant. She was a part of a rich family so her status was compatible with him. “Son where have you been? Why do you look so…. Pale?” The inspects him as Jungkook’s breathing became heavier. “Son are you unwell? Servants, take him to his quarters!” his father demanded. The girl’s assistant looked at Jungkook concerned, she knew what was wrong and little did the King know, she was a descendant of the most powerful of witches concealed as a commoner that would assist the wealthy family’s prized possession – their daughter- since she was the only half witch, wealthy child in the town. The daughter was also a part of the same bloodline, they were cousins of course although the daughter’s mother married a rich man, who was a powerless human being making her less powerful. As Jungkook was escorted to his slumber quarters he lay there in cold sweat.

“Your Majesty, would I have your permission to see your son to just examine his condition?” the assistant pleaded. The King agrees to the offer; “oh yes, please feel free, please tell me what’s wrong with him!” the King sounded concerned. She nods as she runs up the stairs holding her dress and stand outside his door. “May I come in?” she knocks with respect and manner. There was no reply or response so there was no choice but to open the door on her own, so she twisted the door handle and gulped. She gasped in absolute horror to see Jungkook drenched in the blood of his servants with the tall, broad shouldered man next to him. “well done my little fledgling, your first taste of human blood,” he smirked before going towards the witch. “Why are you here?” he asks the witch. “ Seokjin I could ask you the same! Why did you turn the PRINCE out of all people!” her voice was angry and infuriated. “just a bit of fun my magic potion,” he strokes her shoulder, or attempts to before he hisses. “hmm ouch extra witchy protection…” he scoffs “ well Prince Jungkook’s going to need one of your fancy sunlight protecting rings like your great-great grandmother made me, see you later.” He sits at the edge of the window before shifting into a crow and vanishing into the nothingness of the forest. What could she tell the King? She didn’t want him to become exiled or even worse, executed!

That’s what your aunt used to tell you. The tales of the vampires and the numerous supernatural creatures that roamed the town you lived in and how the castle that sat on the mountain was a chamber of secrets that no one dared to discover. It was said that anyone who even attempted to enter would either disappear or have vivid night terrors – it was deemed to be so haunted. “That sounds so cool!” your voice sounded vivacious “now I wanna go and see for myself!” but your aunt gave you a disapproving look. “I don’t think that would be the most ideal thing to do, don’t even dare!” she raised her voice, moving her hair out of her face as she began to gather the utensils from the side of the sink to dry them up and put them away. Your great grandmother gave you a family heirloom that was a blue crystal locket which was filled with a flower and another gem like stone which had a carved white rose on the surface. Your before she passed away, she told you to take care of it and to never lose it. You didn’t know why but you kept her word and wore it all the time. “so what happened to the prince after? Did the king ever find out?” You ask. “Your grandmother would know this, It’s just a story anyway but I think this is what happened,” she begins and continues the captivating tale of Prince Jungkook.

Shortly after the maids encounter with Seokjin, she turned around and heard rattling at the door but before she count meet whoever was outside, she failed to keep it closed and his lover ended up finding him in this condition; the fear in her eyes flooding her mind and showing on her face. Little did she know vampires fed off fear since adrenaline was what made blood sweeter and more available. He charged at her before the witch warded him off with the poisoned Vervain scalding his face making him whimper like a puppy. “you-”his lovers voice cracked, ““BEAST! FIEND! Stay away from me-” his lover screamed in terror. The witch shut the door on him and put her necklace with other magic and herbs on the handle of the door so he couldn’t open it. Jungkook’s lover ran down the stairs, stumbling and tripping but not caring, not giving a second though as to where she is running to. “where are you going!” the King tried to stop. “Your son- t-the Prince,” her words stumbled upon each other, “VAMPIRE” she yelled before running out of the palace, Jungkook watching the love of his life leaving him forever.

“what happened next? This is getting too good to stop here Aunt,” you lean on your hands at the island counter as she cooks dinner. “Hm, from what I can remember she told me that he had to be exiled probably executed too”

The Prince spent weeks in his room not being able to leave until the King brought in priests and organised a ceremony for everyone to attend although by everyone, he meant just the supernaturals. He didn’t like what he was going to do to his son, but he had to do as much as he could to keep his people safe even if that meant to kill his own son. During that ceremony, which was held at a local church, he trapped all the vampires inside and transported Jungkook to the building. He was chained like an animal and thrown into the building like he meant nothing. The supernaturals congregated outside the venue which was an ancient church that was built by the commoners many years prior to 1864. The doors opened to rows of concreate seats facing to the front of the church, wooden supports holding up the ceiling above the immortals and the alter standing at the front empty for a little while. Everyone was seated, the immortals though that them and the mortal King had a civil relationship- they were wrong. The ceremony started and Seokjin sat at the back and watched Jungkook sitting on the backrow, starved. “awh seems like someone was held hostage,” he snickers before getting his composure back. “Just a joke but you know what’s happening right?” Seokjins eyes widen excitedly, “this is a mass execution, he’s blowing the church up… bOOM!” He laughed hysterically “I know this only because this church had been rebuilt before because the same happened to me,” He sits beside you. “what! Blown up?” Jungkook asks, “yeah but it’s fine, I just wanna keep you by my side,” he smirks before searching for an escape route and little did the King know, Seokjin has been around for many years and knew the underground tunnel systems, so behind the alter was the entrance to the underground tunnels. There was a short pause before starting since the King forgot his ‘speech’ and had to go and find it in his carriage however that was when it was all going to happen. And it did.

“So did Prince Jungkook survive?” you question at the cliffhanger. “No one knows but legend has it that his spirit still lingers in the castle and the church and on top of that you can hear his angelic voice down every hallway,” you felt shivers down your spine. You wanted to see it for yourself; was it true the castle was still functioning as normal like people said. Your brother opens the front door and walks in beaten and bruised. “Namjoon! What happened?” the tone in your voice your voice sounded startled! It had been months since he got into a fight and it was usually over something stupid but this time something felt strange. “what happened? Answer me!” your aunt raise her voice. Even if he was 20 he still needed some discipline since you both lost your parents at a young age. “fight, what else?” he throws his shows aside near the door and runs up the stairs slamming his bedroom door. Your aunt sighs’ “you two are making me feel old!” you get up from your seat and help her with the table, “but you’re very pretty though so don’t you worry.” Your mind lingered about the forbidden area of the town, where the new bell towered church sat, on the boarder of the road to the castle and the main town.

It was a new semester and you entered the school with confidence as your two best friends waited at the entrance for you. After the long summer, you, Jimin and Yoongi were finally united as a trio again and caught up on your summer away. “so, where did you go?” Jimin asked as he fixed the raven brooch on his jacket. “Oh, I just went to the countryside to see my grandmother and she told me all sorts of weird stories about our family, not going to lie they didn’t sound real, but her great grandmother was a witch!” the fascination in your voice being clear and present. “so that would mean you’re a witch, through descent!” Yoongi wonders, “but witches aren’t real?” you shake your head. “No, Yoongi, apparently according to her we also have psychics in our family so I could be either there’s a possibility!” you sounded crazy to them but you brushed it off because you know what you were told. Maybe it wasn’t real, your grandmother is old and stories can change over time. They’re stories after all. “maybe you’re right Yoongi, maybe it is just stories,” you continue walking with them. Despite being a new semester, it didn’t feel different at all. You wondered around to your class and placed your bag on the floor, your necklace falling out of your bag made another student turn their head. “Hey, you,” the person called out and you turned your head pointing to yourself. “me?” you tilt your head. “yeah, where did you get this collector’s item from?” He sounded so fascinated by it, “oh sorry for just taking it off you, I just love collector items especially when they have close historical links with the town!” he smiles “I’m Taehyung by the way!” he hands the necklace back to you and you held it back in your hands and wore it around your neck again to not lose it. For your films class you were put into pairs to produce a short film of any genre. There wasn’t anyone you really knew in the class although everyone has some acquaintances in the class so you glance over at Taehyung who twiddles his pen, leaning on his palm. It seems like he was waiting for someone to pair up with him. “you must me joking,” you mutter to yourself before you take your stuff and seat yourself next to him. “about time, I thought you’d move sooner to be fair,” he smiled at you, the curl on his forehead sitting peacefully before he blows it away from his face. “what you staring at? My curls,” he messes with you. “whatever, we need to plan our film, what are you into?” you ask him and he ponders with a pout, “I like documentary, what about you?” so you think. “I mean I don’t really mind, documentary is easy but maybe a short film would be so cool especially with the whole spooky history, what do you think?” Taehyung nods. “I supposed that’s a good idea too, we could combine them if we tried hard enough and I don’t know what kind of worker you are.” He rolls his eyes and then flashes a playful smile. God how cocky. He seemed like a nice guy so you let it be and tried to write up a plan for your class. Although once the bell went, you thought he’d leave – like every other project buddy you had – but he asked if you were doing anything after school. “oh, umm no I’m probably going to do some homework or start reading up for other classes, why?” he smiles softly, “oh I was wondering if you wanted to do anything interesting, only if you want!” You paused and stopped walking. “depends what it is?” you hoped it wasn’t something weird. “wanna go exploring?” the bells in your head started to ring. Did he just say exploring, as in discovering new things. “exploring what…” you drag on “oh come on, the forest! No one has been there in years god knows what we could find!” His voice was ecstatic. You didn’t want to be impulsive; “hmm I’ll let you know,” you shrug before you turn to go to the cafeteria, “wait! Heres’ my number if you’re interested” you take the piece of paper that seemed crumpled up and thank him, waving him goodbye. You see Jimin at his locker; “Hey!” you made him jump and he groaned, “oi, don’t do that that scared me, where’s yoongi?” he asks looking around. “I don’t know, I haven’t seen him since class?” but as you said that, he walks around the corner. “I see you made an impression on Taehyung,” he nods at you, “how did you know?” your eyes widened. “He’s going around telling false tales about him being a part of the hunter bloodline and how he found a witch or something, so I assumed he was talking about you” Yoongi whistled before heading to the cafeteria. You were confused, how did he even know that. “must be one compulsive liar,” Jimin snickers before punching Yoongi. “Possibly” he shrugs but it made you think how Yoongi didn’t believe you about the witch thing so there could be an element of truth. You were curious.

Home was where you felt safe yet so limited. A wooden box with a silver latch sat at your window ledge, entreating you to open it and discover what was inside. It was gifted by none other than your great-grandmother; and you glanced at it, your fingers twitching to unclip the lock. You ignore it, trying to dedicate your focus to your trigonometry homework however you felt an energy calling you. You tutted and groaned at your focus being dismantled by your frantic thoughts; you dropped you pen and slammed your book shut, walking over to the window where the box sit.

“this box should be kept near the window to ward off any supernatural energy to keep you safe.”

Your grandmother said weird and wacky things however you went along with it. You wanted to open the box and you went against your grandmother’s rules and sat at your window ledge but before opening the box, you realised that there were lights on at the vampire castle. Your jaw dropped and your eyes widened in joy – were you imagining things – you rubbed your eyed however they weren’t a figment of your imagination. It was real. You wanted to yell at your aunt to let her know but she already thought you were crazy so you left it and opened the box. It was an amethyst necklace with a silver spiral trapping the get and a purple and white flower inside and along with the necklace was a letter written a long time ago, it was concealed with a wax seal and carefully placed inside of the box. Your curiosity was intensified by the castle and you thought to yourself for a bit. Didn’t Taehyung want to go exploring? Maybe now would be a good idea but no, you wanted to see for yourself on your own. “hey, can I come in?” your Aunt asks knocking on the door so you leaped onto your bed and grabbed a textbook. “yes, you can!” you said slightly breathless. “I have some snacks for you, eat up,” she says before looking at your window wide open, “so what’s this then?” she sets some warm soup on your desk. “oh, it was just getting a bit stuffy” your nervously chuckle. She narrows her eyes, “alright, eat up alright, I’m going to watching a show, if you need me in downstairs.” She lets you know before shutting your door. You couldn’t let the soup go cold so you eye it for a moment before sighing and sitting at your desk, both hands cupping the curve of the bowl and, you guessed it, downed it in one go. You wiped your mouth fast and think of a route out and looking outside of your bedroom didn’t seem like a far jump down. You grabbed your phone and your jacket and tried to sneak out. It was a success. You sighed in relief and walked down the back streets, hood up, to the forest.

Dancing in the dark.

Stumbling through the leaves and decaying animals, you managed to enter the mystical forest you dreamed of going into you. The air was different, it stung to breathe in but perhaps that was the cold weather who knows. You hear a crunch of a twig snapping in half which startled you, your head whipped around to see nothing but the leaves swaying in the icy breeze. Inhale. Exhale. You went on your way further. The darkness made it difficult to see anything, you squint your eyes to check your surroundings. Are there still these supernatural creatures living or were they all killed off? The buzzing in your mind catches you off guard and you strip on a piece of concrete and reach out to grab the leafy floor although it was another concrete brick like textured object. Frantically, you search for your phone and press the flash button to see a staircase. A gasp leaves your mouth and you stand yourself up. The towering structure, two turrets and one fragmented turret loomed over you dauntingly. “that must be where he was held..” you whisper to yourself. A flash occurred from the corner of your eye and you were shaken by the suddenness of it. It seemed like a candlelight was blown out from the middle room of the castle but you weren’t too certain. You were hesitant to go inside but you took a deep breathe and you did. How bold of you. The doors were tall, around 7 feet tall with two ring handles, which seemed to be made out of a type of metal. The colour was faded and rusty. Your fingers brushed over it but the heavy, wooden doors gracefully opened welcomingly. The relinquished palace had a strong aura, an aura of life. You peer through the doors to see the interior cold and untouched. The mess of the table, an earring to gleaming in the moonlight next to your feet. You pick it up. This must be Prince Jungkook’s lover’s earring. You begin to explore this castle, the unbelievable history was at your finger tips right now. You look up to the stained glass windows that looked to the full moon, your necklace was shining bright… brighter than usual. Your curiosity took you to the broken turret room, the bed soaked in blood from that specific evening, the box let wide open with crystals and stone. “That must be from my grandmother,” you pick up the crystals, “holy water and herbs, what a great pair.” A voice spoke from behind your startling you. You turned around but no one was there; was it his voice still echoing in this room, does his spirit still roam?

“no, don’t be stupid, spirits can’t scream,” He chuckles. Why did he sound a lot like Taehyung? “Taehyung?” you stutter, “oh! It worked, wow I’m so happy,” Jungkook chuckles, “years of practice what can I say, the Kim’s were easy to mirror.”

You couldn’t believe it, it really was him in real life but you froze from fear and shock. “frightened now are we?” his eyes were glowing an fiery red, “go ahead, run like they all did,” he smirks before giving you way. You drop the crystals and you clutch to your necklace but as you bolt to the front door, stumbling down the stairs, he was already there waiting for you. “hm I’ve gotten quite good at this haven’t I My Love,” he smirks before you felt a pang of fear in your heart. You tripped over the concrete stairs again and you get back up again, running to the main town. Little did you know, you lost your necklace making you a lot more vulnerable than you think.

You climb onto the bins and try to pry your window open again and sneak back in. The lights were off so you had to be quiet. “my necklace!” you gasp at the realisation you lost it.

Your nightmares were vivid, like your were being attacked by him since you didn’t feel safe without your necklace. You didn’t know what it did but it kept you safe.

The necklace helps keep you safe from compulsion. Compulsion from a vampire is dangerous especially when they know you’re a witch, they can almost ask you for anything and use you for their own benefit. The necklace should always be worn, never taken off. The ring a vampire wears is keeps them from scorching in the sunlight, so they are among us – Witches society 1800’s

“Whatever, I’ll go back and find it,” you shake your head and open your eyes during the early hours of the morning. Two glowing orbs moved from your window and you rubbed your eyes and turned away. Your heart beat hard, like it was going to beat out of your chest.

You felt uneasy the next day at school but you went on as you would do. “have you seen Taehyung today?” Jimin asks pointing at him standing against his locker with your necklace in his hands. Anger flooded through your blood stream, why does HE have it? “Taehyung! Why did you take my necklace again?” you seemed to have forgotten what happened the night before. “what? I found this at the ca-“ he stopped himself, “hm, I see.. apologies here take it back,” he hands to you with a glint of mischief in his eyes, “only if you promise to help me find him.” You gasped at the absurd deal but you wanted to find him too, you wanted to know more. “fine..” you sigh and he smirks, “perfect…”

Why did you forget about what happened last night? Was it because you were under some sort of compulsion; the orbs? It must’ve been him. “Did you know your ancestors were from the line of the most powerful witches?” Taehyung whispers to you in film class. “yes, I did, how do you even know that?” You reply dryly. “Well your ancestors were of great help to us hunters,” he leans back in his chair, “although some of you were in love with the Prince and his family,” he scoffs. What did he mean by that? “huh? Elaborate please?” you ask him, pausing your written plan and turning to him. “My ancestors left letters, diaries and capsules for us and there was a division amongst the witches; some of you lot protected the prince and others wanted him dead so all the vervain plants in this town and perhaps all over the world were cursed as a repellent for compulsion, some other magic stuff was involved but I’m a hunter,” he starts off, “So the Lady of Prince Jungkook had a close link with the witches to protect her lover but unfortunately he turned and her assistant began to protect him since he did a lot for their family, no one knows of what happened to the Lady but legend has it that she was turned by something else I don’t really know and-“ you interrupt him, “you know awfully a lot don’t know hm…” you began to get suspicious of him but the crest on his jacket seemed believable enough. “maybe we should hang out after classes to actually talk about our history” his lips curl and he looks back at the teacher at the front of the room.

Later that afternoon; you and Taehyung sit face to face, opposing each other at a local café. “so, you are from the witches who kept these vampires safe and I’m obviously a hunter,” you taps his fingers on the table, “you’re not a hunter you’re a descendant don’t get too cocky Tae,” you rolls your eyes. “Have you done magic?” he asks you, “well obviously not?” you take your cup and sip aggressively at his stupid remarks trying to drown it out. “I see, but you know what that necklace does right?” he points at your neck as the stone hung down. You shake your head. “stop compulsion and it’s also a poison to vampires,” he nods. “is it now…” you sounded unfazed. His hand touched your hand and you felt a strange sensation. Your body went into shock and a bright light flashed at your eyes and you were able to see something, like a movie but you were actually there. You saw yourself running away but your were inside of the castle, the lights were bright and you felt fear. You saw people with stakes and fire, as well as bows and arrows shooting at the turrets. It was the day the prince turned. Why were you running away? He lets his hand off you. “how was that? Did you know you could do that?” he smugly smiles. You felt your chest pang with pain and you felt breathless. “what the fuck was that?” you kick him under the table. “you just saw your past life, that’s all…”

So was Jungkook’s lover a witch too? Were you her? You couldn’t be. “I think we should go back to the castle, I want to check something,” you say, “now we’re talking little Witch,” he pats your head. “don’t fucking call me that, “you push his hand away, “disgusting.”

“Hey Aunt, I’m going to a friends house to stay over is that okay?” you ask her politely. “Of course! You can call me whenever you need to okay.” She smiles and waves. This was your chance to collect items from the castle. You met Taehyung at the taped trees where it said ‘no trespassing’ yet you and him crawled underneath and wondered deep inside the forest. “Wow, what if we just kissed here,” he nudged you. “I’ll tell you now, I have zero interest in you Hunter boy, shut up and start looking,” you sounded a tad bit aggressive but you had to show your place. You arrived at the entrance again although no lights in sight. The door was opened from the night before so you walked in, holding your necklace for protection; “I want to go to the study room,” you point and Tae nods. The study room was extravagant the walls opaqued with leather spined books. Your fingers brushed over them until one of them caught your eye. It was a book on Folklore but wedged between it was a thick envelope. You pulled it out, the wax seal opened and a fire damaged letter amongst others. They were love letters exchanged between him and his lover and one of them which he seemed to have opened when he was in the church. He managed to save it. You pull out a photograph too of his lover and you look at it closely, inspecting every detail until realising how much she looked like you. “doppelgänger?” you gasp before Taehyung wonders in finding something. “Hey, has there always been running electricity here?” he asks you. “it’s a really old castle so there shouldn’t be,?” you reply to him, shoving the letters in your bag. Taehyung switches a light on and back off. “you shouldn’t be snooping around my office…” Jungkook sits at his desk, legs up his eyes glinting a fire red. “You know, it’s been a while since I tasted any human blood in years, no one seems to give me any company…” You see a black shadow move to the light switch out the door and back to the seat in under a second. “oh yes and um.. you guys are trapped in here,” he smiles playfully. “now, what should we play? Spin the bottle and the first human it lands on I drain you? Sounds fair right?”

“we didn’t mean any harm, I was just curious what was in here because-” you were interrupted, “I know you didn’t mean any harm witch, I mean him,” his eyes began to burn a bright red, his fangs appearing as he smiled, his eyes dark. “nono, I’m not like them I’m just a highschool kid!” Jungkook nods at him pleading. “you know, the more scared you are the sweeter your blood tastes,” he charges at him and you squeal. “STOP!” Jungkook stops, his fangs and eyes turning back to normal. There was something about you that you didn’t know about yet Jungkook did. “Seems like you missed out on you history classes,” he chuckles before he gazed into Taehyung’s eyes and whispers something. “So, why did you want to snoop into my castle? Steal from me?” he scoffs as Taehyung moves to stand next to you. The necklace was dangling out of your bag and he carefully pulled it out and Jungkook smiled as he did so. “Leave from here..” His eyes glow a yellow this time and there as a feeling within you that you had to leave. Taehyung dropped the necklace to the floor and you had an urge to run away from this castle. Adrenaline began to seep into your system as Jungkook whispers “boo,” you bolted out the door which flung open. The rapid steps you too through the leaves was frantic and desperate to leave. His sly tricks; he used Taehyung’s weak body to compel you. You were vulnerable now.

Weeks went by and you had a memory which you couldn’t remember, a void in your mind, pure emptiness. You move your bag to the floor to empty a seat next to you in your history class but Taehyung wasn’t in today. Although someone else was. He looked familiar and like you knew him but you thought nothing of it. “hey, long time no see?” his lips curl into a smile and pushes his dark hair back. What? But when you blinked he was gone again. You were seeing things and you thought you were genuinely delusional to the point a doctor’s appointment sounded good. “yo guys?” you asked Jimin and Yoongi as you guys sat in the basketball court that lunch break. “Was a new student admitted today or am I going crazy?” You think carefully. “no new students today, you my friend need to lay off the caffeine and start sleeping, you’re up at like 3am every single day?” Jimin sighs, “SLEEP WILL YOU!” Your friends thought you were going a little crazy but you took their advice. You were feeling fatigued and low when you arrived home and your aunt was sitting on the couch with someone. “hey! Your friend came over to return this saying you lost it at school,” it was the necklace you thought you had. What, how? “hey there! Thought I’d come visit you to return this,” he smiles and his eyes glint the amber tone. Fuck. Jungkook compelled you to forget that day you and Taehyung went to the castle, he was playing mind games all day. So he was in school but only in your mind or had some power where he couldn’t be seen? “I was asking your aunt if we could hang out more often since you keep avoiding me these days,” his tongue rests on his fang before retracting them when your aunt faces him. “what a nice boy,” your aunt smiles, “of course you guys can hang out I’m more than happy to allow that, in fact now would be great since I have an interview to go to” she gets up in a hurry and grabs her bag. “where?” you ask her. “The café and bar down the road from here?” your aunt looks at you suspiciously. “Oh okay,” you say nervously before you and Jungkook were left in your house alone together.

“You’re not a very smart witch now are you, a little bit clumsy hm,” he hums, he stands up and moves closer to you. “since I have been invited in, no salt or garlic will ward me off..” he smiles mischievously, “your family gave me permission to enter, a little careless to be quite frank with you,” he rolls his eyes and smirks. “what do you want…” your voice shakes but you feel frozen. “What do you think? New blood…” with his power of speed, pushing your by your shoulders to the wall, his eyes sharp. “don’t mess this up for me okay, don’t do it again…” you felt a surge of emotions and visions moving through your mind, you could feel pain and resent , the feeling of betrayal and devastation, your neck burning on your left side before he let go of you. “You just saw everything didn’t you?” His voice profound. “I-” you gulp “what if I did? I don’t have control over it!” you pant after using that energy. “no one has done that for years, I guess you are useful after all even if you are the dumbest witch I’ve ever seen…” he scoffed. “well I guess I’ll go but I’ll see you when I need you to find her, bye dumb witch” he waves as he just walks out of the front door with no care in the world, like he’s a normal human. “I’M NOT A DUMB WITCH!” you screamed internally before slamming the door. It seemed like he was searching for his lover but why would she be alive now.. unless someone turned her?

A few months went by with no contact from Jungkook until your phone pinged in class this one day during class from a random number.

“look outside the window, meet me outside now.”

What the hell? You did what the text asked you to do and you see Jungkook in a jacket that you recognise. It was a leather jacket embellished with large silver button on the front, isn’t that yoongi’s. “yes witch it is yoongi’s but I didn’t kill him, hurry up,” he could hear your thoughts. You ignore him and moments later the fire alarm goes off. He was like a little demon causing trouble in your life!

You manage to go outside to evacuate, and he pulls you aside and used his powers to move away from the site. “Can you see into the past using this?” it was the letters and the photo you took but he got them back somehow. You didn’t want to admit to stealing them. “I don’t know how to use my powers,” you mutter “what… you don’t what…” he stands towering over you, “just try, I don’t know manifest it or whatever you do?”

He was clueless yet desperate to get answers about his beloved. “I have to read up on this I really don’t know much,” you panic before he holds you hands between his, the letters and photos sandwiched between you palms. He was the closest thing to her and it worked, his energy worked.

–

You saw a night sky, the stars scattered across the sky like precious jewels it’s luminescent light beaming down with a full moon perched just above one of the towers. His beloved stood at the castle doors after Jungkook’s father’s death, the empty halls echoing Jungkook’s shrieks of pain. It was empty, or so she thought. But you felt a sensation, it was harsh and painful like something piercing through skin. It was Seokjin. “every single one of my prey are stupid,” he tuts before draining her and leaving her lifeless corpse to someone else. There was a crowd of people, hunter supposedly; “Stop, isn’t this the woman that was supposed to marry the prince?” One of them gasped. “yes sir, it was but is she dead?” another queries. “Seems so Hunter… do you think Jungkook is still alive?” the leader tuts. “I don’t think so, the fire seemed difficult to escape from…”

But during that time Jungkook left for Europe, to be safe, to join the European vampire population for a while before returning a few hundred years later.

–

Jungkook’s pale skin became paler with anticipation. “so… what did you see?” he asks, eyes full of hope. “she died… a long, long time ago..” you gulp pulling your hands away before running the opposite direction. Jungkook catches up. “Oi witch,” he chuckles nervously, “you better be joking,” his voice trembles and slowly turns into anger. “Who killed her, tell me, tell me how she died witch or I will kill you for being so useless!” he raises his voice. “I don’t know! He had pale skin and dark hair, broad shoulders and he was a vampire too!” you yelp. Jungkook steps back. “seokjin attacked my Princess… knowing I was waiting for her…” Jungkook’s voice became sorrowful, his heart shattering into a million pieces there and then. “I searched for her for years and what’s the point now..” his fiery eyes shoot at you. “what can you do to fix this, to bring her back, you can do it right?”

“I-I don’t know how, please don’t hurt me,” you cover yourself with your arms. “I wont hurt you.. you did the best you could and I cant be angry at you, I’m sorry”

You could feel his pain, his heart tightening and not releasing at the though of the love of his life being gone. “is there anything I can do to help you?” you ask hoping there was something you could help with. “you could stake me?” His voice was lifeless and monotonous. “I don’t think I want to Jungkook, if it makes you feel better I have always been interested in you and your history, my great grandmother told us about how everything was like back in her times and-” Jungkook interrupted you; “who was your great grandmother what did she do?” You felt a connection now, there was something he unlocked. You explained to him how your great grandmother was a part of the powerful witches in her time and how his lover was close with her. Although that’s when it hit you that that was her story she was telling and you unlocked a new timeline. “you are no way the descendant of-“ he paused, “let me process this, so I am talking to a close relative, well distant but you know of the woman I was meant to marry.. it makes so much sense why you looked like her I followed you around every where thinking it was her but I have been proven wrong and I’m sorry…”

he followed me? It all made sense.. the glowing orbs outside the window, the strange noises you’d hear every night, the vivid nightmares.

“oh, that’s fine,” you didn’t know what more to say but you felt bad for him. Jimin texted you and said that everyone was sent home because there was a gas leak in the school. “ah great, we’ve been sent home because of a gas leak,” you sigh, “well, I guess I’ll be going sorry for not being much help.” You say before turning around and making your way to the street. Jungkook grabs your arm. “wait, I’ve been so lonely and constantly on the run,” he begins, “it would be nice to have a friend that’s close to home,” he smiles. He genuinely smiled at you; “me? Didn’t you call me dumb?” you tut, “okay maybe I did and maybe you are but hey there’s no harm in some teasing hm?” he eases on his grip. “well, okay I suppose but where Taehyung?” you ask him suspicious of his intentions. “Oh, I told him to stay away from you since I knew how his ancestors were like, not nice people I’ll tell you,” You nod you head, interested in what he had to say. Maybe this would change things around, make your boring life a little more interesting.

Weeks went by and you didn’t hear from Jungkook which was of surprise to you since HE was the one pleading you almost to be friends. It was around 1am and you sat at your window watching the moon and the stars as the breeze brushes against your legs. You sigh, what a mad world you lived in? People think you’re crazy but the crazy people think you’re fascinating. Funny. You noticed little trinkets and strange objects being wedged or put outside your window. First it was some sort of herb then it was a gold chain with a rose that opened to store powders to other herbal substances in. “Nice moon right?” Jungkook smiles making you yelp nearly tumbling out of the window. “How are you in my ro-“ his finger rests on your lips and hushes you. “Shifting, finally mastered it, wanna go out for a bit and talk?” he asks and flashes a mischievous smile. “1am? Are you crazy?” You gasp. “you’re asking a vampire who eats people if they’re crazy…” you look at him and blink. “I don’t eat people only those who deserve it,” his cheeks puff up as he smiles. “okay fine lemme just ge-“ before you could finish any sentence he grabbed you around your waist and you both were somehow on the ground. “You need to stop doing that, I have motion sickness,” you breathe. “maybe you should collect some leaves for that then,” Jungkook sarcastically remarks and you groan at his incompetency to communicate without insulting you. “please, stop insulting me,” you roll your eyes. “but… you’re a bit of a idiot though… you couldn’t even figure out how to use your necklaces and utilise your herbs what if I killed you huh?” he shoved you as you walked through the empty town. “then I DIE? Oh wait you wouldn’t know that because you’re IMMORTAL!” you scoff, “bet you don’t even know how death feels like,” you cross your arms.

Jungkook laughs at you getting angry at what he says. He’s been around long enough to figure out how to tease. He looks around to see if anything was open. “there’s that diner place open,” Jungkook points. “please stop reading my thoughts, it’s weird and creepy!” You mumble and he chuckles. “Scared I’ll see something I shouldn’t?” he nudges you gently before opening the door to let you in first.

“Jungkook, long time no see,” the owner smiles with such delight as she goes to hug him. You were confused and downright shocked to see such close interaction. “this is the owner, I don’t think you met her, she’s very sweet almost like my mother,” Jungkook’s arm drapes around her shoulder. “how long have you known him for?” You ask knowing for a fact that Jungkook is a few hundred years old. “He came in a couple years ago drenched in the rain, he seemed so exhausted,”

I wonder why…

“ohh okay, fair enough, just so you know I’m not his girlfriend or anything,” you tut before sitting down. “I love the steaks here, they’re so .. tender,” Jungkook teases. “please don’t put me off-“ you raise your hand gesturing ‘stop’. He sat back and let the waitress do her job. You sat there with food in front of you and Jungkook gesturing for you to eat, “promise you wont kill me will you, I’ve had enough of the tension of you trying to kill me,” Jungkook’s eyes widen. “oh no no you got the wrong idea, I want to befriend you not k-“ he whispers, “kill you?”

“right so what DO you want,” you chew as you speak. “friendship dumb witch what else? Just a companion until you die or something,”

Great, just another person to use you again.

“mmh okay,” your unsure, monotonous voice echoes in his ears.

Since the night at the diner you had a bittersweet relationship with Jungkook and ever since that day, he began to wait outside you school to see you and hang out with you or sometimes turn up at your house. He was suspicious to you but you went with it to do your own investigating.

“Why are you here?” your harsh tone a little too harsh for Jungkook’s liking. He gazed at you and then your aunt; “hey is your niece allowed to come to mine since we have a project to study for?” he shouts out to her and she turns around elated. “oh of course anytime! Thank you for asking for permission, I’m not good at this parenting stuff,” he scratches the back of her head. “what do you think you’re doing?” your intonation increases. “a favour trust me,” he winks at you and then smiles at your aunt. “come on then, we better be going since it’s super important!”

You were confused and unsure how to react. What did he want from you that needed you to be away from the town – it was incredibly suspicious. You and Jungkook walked down the main street towards a small gap behind some buildings. “what- where are you taking me?” Your stutter and Jungkook sighs, noticeably annoyed at you for being so uncooperative. “maybe it’s easier if I just do this-“ he groans as he swipes you of your feet and all you felt was a huge gust of wind in your face. Your face, unconsciously, buried itself into Jungkook’s chest as you gripped onto his arm for safety. He needs to not use his speed on you without notice, motion sickness is not fun. After meandering through the trees and trampling over dead leaves he arrives to the destination. “if I put you down you will throw up on my stairs and I do not want that witch,” he grins as he saw your face embarrassed since he read your thoughts. “also it is not weird you buried you head into my chest, quite frankly, I enjoyed that,” he chuckles as you slap his chest defensively, “don’t make fun of me!”

He seats you down on a chair, embellished in gold and a burgundy velvet, the arms a solid wood. All the chairs were like this, the royal aura still remained. “everything is fully functioning because over the years I adapted and I fixed things here and there, the only thing not working right now is the dismantled turret,” he laughs thinking this ‘joke’ was funny. You let out a nervous laugh. You weren’t going to lie to yourself but your heart acted strangely when he showed his true self to you. “you were interested in discovering more about the castle so why not give you a tour!” as he began he gently took your hand considering you were feeling a little sick from the sudden, rapid movement. Your heart did it again, stop.

Jungkook started off with the dining and study area going into depth about how his father would do his work there and how he would sometimes fall asleep. Jungkook spent most his time in this study when he read books and learnt more about the world around him and. The grand staircase; he helped you up the stairs, hand in hand and showed you the east side and the west side. There was a locked door in one of the walls which caught your eye. “What’s this?” you ask Jungkook, “ well that used to be the execution dungeon and since my father died I never opened it once,” he continues to walk up as you nod your head affirmatively. “Finally this is my bedroom, since my one was well… destroyed,” you gulp. You look around; the brown and beige colour scheme was very modern although the lights were still chandeliers. The walls were all painted a hazelnut tone but there was gold embellishing on the side skirting. There was a combination of modern and historical aspects, it was fascinating. You felt an odd connection to the castle but you never understood why and thought nothing of it yet again. “my love looked exactly like you,” he sat down solemn on his bed and pats the space beside him for you to sit next to him. “I remember she used to pick those lavenders in the lavender fields with her maid over there,” he points out of the window where there was a windmill but the land was replaced by plain dirt. “she loved blossoming flowers, Gypsophila, she loved those,” he trailed off as he looks at a broke stem on his bed side table. “I though he’d turn her, he promised he would for me?” you stopped him there. “wait who is this ‘he’ you’re taking about?” you ask engrossed in his own history. “Seokjin, member of one of the first ever vampires, he turned me for no reason other than boredom,” he groans in annoyance, “why me?”

“does he not visit now and then or is he just travelling all the time?” you ask. “of course, he’s living his life, committing crimes, getting the women he loves and left a hopeless, family-less prince alone for years, he lied to me,” his voice cracked. “Hey, don’t worry it must’ve been hard for you to be alone all these years and fend for yourself! That’s just cruel,” your hand settles on his shoulder and he falls to your lap. “now, you’re the only friend I have and who doesn’t think I’m insane…” he begins “but the downside is you look like her and I don’t know what to feel?”

You needed answers. Everything he said made sense although you needed to find out more and your grandmother’s friends were the place to go… at some point.

As you sat at a table in the cafeteria with Jimin and Yoongi you scroll through your messages from your aunt since you searched for any contacts your grandmother left behind. There was one person who you knew quite well though you needed some time to visit her. “what are you doing, you’ve been so distant from us we don’t hang out anymore?” Yoongi confronts your odd behaviours, “yeah you have and it feels like you don’t want to hang out because we saw-“ Yoongi eyes Jimin to be quiet. What was being said about you? “what? Saw what?” you ask looking at them both, “the dude that waits for you outside like everyday, you never said you got into a relationship?” Jimin crossed his arms. “look, that isn’t my boyfriend for starters, he just needs some help with finding someone who was close to me,” you lie a bit, “he’s just someone who knows my family and I’m helping him until he leaves, don’t get mad at me for it,” you pleaded. They both look at each other and nod; “fine, I’m assuming you’re busy today too?” Yoongi sips at his drink. You nod. “as I thought, alright no problem we’ll organise something some other time,”

Phew. You were off the hook. After school that day, you went home to pack a bag with some necessary items like your portable charger, some snacks, your purse, a hair tie and just an extra set of clothes if you got stuck somewhere. “hey Aunt, I’m going to visit grandmother’s friend, is that okay?” you ask her ad she stares as your bag. “how long for sweetie?” she points, “oh not too long, I just have stuff in there for emergencies since buses don’t go there often,” you nod. “hmm okay, fine keep messaging me and updated! Be safe,” She waves. You open the door and Jungkook stands there, a new phone in his hand. “got an upgrade!” he smiles “wait, where are you off to?” he asks as he follows you to the bus stations. “no where, just go home,” you mutter. “no tell me or I’ll read your mind!” he threatens -playfully of course- , and you stop walking. “just leave me alone this once and let me find something out alone without you constantly invading my privacy! Get a grip vampire!” your tone was harsh and frustrated. “there was no need for that but apologies witch, I’ll leave you, farewell.” His smile faded and his playful face vanished. He turned around and walked away without turning back and eventually disappeared into the dark nothingness.

You tried to brush it off but to think that’s how his past lover might’ve acted towards him made you feel guilty. The bus was empty, as dead as night, only a few travellers boarding to visit people or for other reasons that no one knows about. The engine growled as the driver sighed as he waited for all the passengers to board. You situated yourself on the left, three rows from the back placing your bag next to you so no one sat with you. The bus jolted and began to move out of the bay it was parked in; the journey began. The stars covered the bleak sky and your head rested on the cold glass of the bus. Your phone flashes blue; “hope your journey is safe!” it was Jimin sending you a text message. Your grandmother’s friend’s house was around 2 hours away so the journey was a long one indeed and the last stop was directly near her home. During the trip you drifted off and the dream you had felt like a message. You saw fire, blazing flames and hear shrieks and screams but from your point of view, you were running far far away. You saw a carriage and a white horse which you climbed into and you began to go somewhere, like it was an escape. The area was a rural area, with flower fields and a windmill – one of which you recognised- although there is where you dream stopped and the bus driver was standing next to your seat. “Sorry ma’am but this is the last stop, are you getting off here?” he asks you a little concerned. “oh yeah that’s fine, this is the stop I needed anyway!” you frantically grab your bags and run off the bus. There was barely any lights except for one house which was visibly your grandmothers friends home. You remember the windmill behind her home and the large flower field that stretched out for miles. You knock on the door and it immediately opens. “I was expecting you darling,” she smiles as she lets you in to get warm and comfortable.

“I know what you’re here, I’ve been feeling a strange energy for a couple months, something supernatural?” she utters, “am I right that you’ve encountered supernatural energy?” she asks straightforwardly. “how did you even know” you ask her your mouth semi gaping open. “your grandmother left me a few things and one of them was a necklace connected to you,” she smiles as she shows her wrist with the stone with your initial on it. “ like voodoo?” your eyes widen. “no silly, it’s to keep you protected,” she smiles setting down an herbal tea in front of you. You sip it and it tasted bitter; “sweet isn’t it?” the woman asks, “you can call me your grandmother by the way.” You look at her strangely. “is the tea supposed to be sweet because it’s too bitter?” the ‘grandmother’ shakes her head, “you’ve been interacting with this supernatural energy, have you been put under compulsion,” she asks concerned. “well that’s why I’m here, I met the Vampire Prince and he said that I look like his past love or something and that there’s a strong connection with me and his past so I came here for you to look at my past life?” you explain to her briefly. “past life? Connection to THE vampire prince? I haven’t heard of him in years I thought he was killed that’s what my great grandmother told your grandmother before she passed?” she thought carefully, “okay what did you want to know? Your past life?” she asks again, and you nod your head sure and certain that’s what you wanted to do.

You sat in the armchair and she began to speak to you until you suddenly went into a dream like state. From then you had no idea what was happening in the real world.

Your past life was blessed with riches and wealth. You were in your early 20’s and had a good life til then. You had a cousin who was by your side all the time and you spent most of your time together in the lavender fields and at banquets with your past life father’s family. There was a lot of gold and white, lace and silk. You wrote long hand written letters and sealed them, storing them in a brown tea stained envelope with a rosemary tied to it with a small length of tweed string. From the riches and wealth it declined after you ran away from a castle, your pearl earring falling from your ear. You also tried to run away but were stopped by another entity and that’s when you passed away.

So it did make sense. You were a perfect reincarnated version of the vampire prince’s first love. It made sense how you were a witch too, it made sense how your parents were murdered. It was the hunters trying to cleanse the town of all witches since they sided with the vampires. You opened your eyes from your hypnosis and felt your cheeks wet. “don’t worry, now you have your answer use it wisely,” she says as she goes to the kitchen. Maybe seeing Jungkook next might be the next best idea. Although tonight you had to stay here since it was already late enough and your grandmother’s friends let you stay for the night.

Jungkook sat on his bed looking at the stem on his bedside table. He sighed wishing he could bring her back but what use was there if she grew a bitterness to him because of him being a vampire. The new version of her was so much more open minded and considerate. She was different but also the same but all that mattered is that he felt accepted by you. Perhaps the Prince was falling in love again and wouldn’t that be predictable if he felt accepted. “it could’ve been this way if you weren’t so afraid and trusted me…” he whispered to himself, a tear trailing down his cheek. He was certain he was falling for you, he could feel a change after all these years. Finally he felt the burden raise from his shoulders and he felt like he can move on with someone new. Change has come.

Your route home was early the next morning. The bus arrived at 8am so you needed to take that bus home so you could at least attend you afternoon classes. The bus was fuller, and you had to sit next to someone. You gave them an awkward smile and sat down although they didn’t acknowledge you at all and ignored you. 2 hours felts too long but you dealt with it. Fast forward to when you arrived, you went home to grab your books to go attend classes. You felt some ease knowing your past and your connections it also seems like Taehyung transferred elsewhere after the threats he got from Jungkook. You seat yourself in your class and Jimin hands you over the notes taken for another class, you mouth ‘thank you’ as you take them off him. “how was your trip?” Jimin asked. “it was okay, actually it was great!” you smiled. Something seemed to have changed since to left for a day.

When your afternoon classes ended, you walked out with Yoongi and Jimin waving them goodbye since they had other plans for the evening. You see Jungkook leaning against the fence waiting for you and waved at you. He has a glow today and seemed really ecstatic. “hey, are you alrig-“ before you could even finish your sentence he pulled you into a hug. “I feel great,” he smiles, “wanna grab a coffee? It’s on me,” he smiles, his bunny like teeth showing. It was truly endearing. You nod your head, “of course!” the change of behaviour making you feel something in your stomach. Butterflies? Possibly, yes.

You sit at a table in a rustic looking coffee house and Jungkook goes to order two coffees, one being a caramel macchiato with extra caramel drizzle and a black coffee with an extra espresso shot. “ you seem so happy today? Whats up,” you ask him drinking your black coffee. He smiles shyly, you’ve never seen this side of him before; “I guess I’ve moved on after all these years,” he sips his sweet drink, “I found someone else,” Oh someone else… “is she pretty do I know her?” you pretend to act dumb. “yes, yes you are.” He looks at your, eyes full of love. It made sense, his past lover was bitter towards him and the universe let him start again with you. “me?” you point at yourself, “don’t be stupid why wo-“ he interrupts, “because you accepted me, no one else did and if they did it was the work of compulsion.” He gulped. “I mean it would be wrong for a vampire and a witch to be together any way right?” He chuckled nervously. “I don’t think so…” you began to let your suppressed feelings seep through. “it’s not a crime is it, to love someone who makes you feel the way you do?” you begin to mumble nervous that the words spewing out of your mouth made sense. “are you telling me Little Witch that you shared the same feelings,” his cockiness took over again. “oh my god you ruined the moment with your cockiness!” you swing your head back in frustration, “yes yes I do, is that clear enough?”

Despite you being passive aggressive, he found it charming. After your lowkey coffee date, you both walked along the stream that was near the town with beautiful greenery. His hand nervously tried to slip into yours as you walked but he freaked out every time. “what’s wrong, the herbs getting to you?” you tease. “huh what, what herbs are you trying to poison me!” he pretends being over dramatic. “The herbs behind those mushrooms there,” you point and go to collect them into your little metal tin box. “don’t worry I’ll wash my hands in the stream so you can hold it, it’s getting pretty heavy for me,” you cringed at your pick up line but Jungkook appreciated it. “with your advice, I borrowed a book from someone that was passed down for generations so I can practice witchcraft properly!” You tell Jungkook as his hand holds yours. “wow you actually took my advice,” he becomes shy. “this isn’t like you, you’re usually so confident and cocky,” you laugh before he smiles and uses his speed to push you up against a tree as he looks at you with eyes full or adoration. “is this more like me now?” his fingers brushing down the side of your cheeks and tucking your hair behind your ear. He admired every inch of your face and you stared back at him in awe. Without anything being said he had his first kiss with you after all these years waiting for the other version of you. The kiss only lasted a couple seconds since it was a peck and he moved back and lovingly gazed into your eyes for a little bit before your hands cupped his jaw and brought it closer to your lips for something a little more meaningful than a peck. Although midway through the kiss, drops of rainfall plunged from the grey clouds looming above you. “ugh,” Jungkook groaned before he swiped you up again, “hang on tight,” he smiled sweetly before speeding to his home sheltering you from the rain. “are you feeling okay because I know last time you weren’t feeling the best.” He asked you. “yes I’m fine,” you brush yourself down from where the rain did catch you.

Months passed and your relationship with him grew. You were both at your happiest until Seokjin came to visit one day. “I see you found another one,” he scoffs, “what a lousy vampire you are!” he leans against the wall of his castle. “leave her alone, I know what you did to my first love!” Jungkook growls. “or what? Are you going to kill me,” you laughs manically. “being a vampire means being alone and just using people for your own good,” Seokjin was cold, “either you break her heart or I will, your choice” he threatens. “Seokjin, leave, just go I don’t know what you’re on my tail,” Jungkook yells. “you’re a vampire not a wolf idiot, and because you are one of my creations,” he laughs again. “you wouldn’t kill her,” Jungkook states, “you’re right I wouldn’t, but I can kill you and devour your corpse, your choice…”

He leaves again but his words meant nothing to Jungkook. Was there a reason to why he killed his first love and threatened him about Jungkook’s current girlfriend now? There was. A hidden history no one knew about, not even Jungkook. He ignored him and continued his relationship with you inviting you to his castle that day. “hey, what’s wrong?” you ask him, embracing him after the phone call you had. “can you stay with me today?” he asks. “yeah I can but what’s wrong?” Jungkook didn’t reply. He didn’t speak but he arms wrapped around your body and embraced you back. “just be with me, like this for a little while,” little did you know he was battling an actual war with Seokjin but he refused to let anything get between you and him. He would risk his life for you, fight for you. Losing himself would be better than losing you and he lived by that. Beneath the ‘Vampire Prince’ image was just a poor boy who lost everything. You lean back and lift his head up as it was drooping so low. Without any notice, his lips landed carefully onto yours and his arm around your waist pulls you closer although the atmosphere was different. He was scared and desperate. He said nothing but only a small apology left his lips. He was gentle and slow but began to feel desperate for more than a mere kiss. His kisses trail down the side of your lip to your jaw and as much as you trusted him you were a little frightened at his cravings. “don’t-” you panic. He looks at you with pleading eyes, “I promise, I will never hurt you,” his voice cracked. He was deceived and left stranded to be killed by his previous lover, you were his only anchor now. He began to get slightly more passionate that before and using his speed abilities, you found yourself in his bedroom, you still between his arms. You knew he wouldn’t cross the line, he wanted whatever you wanted, and this is where you were most comfortable with. Jungkook proceeded to continue his actions moving closer to his bed and gently laying you down as he situated himself over you. The passion within him was burning like a fire, he was waiting for the day he could care for the love of his life.

Star crossed lovers. The universe tested you and will continue to do so. Was love such a crime? All Jungkook knew was to keep you safe even if it meant risking it all, he didn’t want to be in such excruciating pain ever again. Even if he was happy with you, he was paranoid and scared of all the possibilities that could happen but right now it was just you, him and the history that combined your love together and satisfied you both. Each-others presence was enough and if Seokjin ever took you away from him, let there be war.

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pro-sakuraharuno · 4 years

Text

“as much as everyone says team 7 was his family’s they kinda treated him like shit. Especially Sakura. If naruto had Hinata as a supporting team member who saw him for who he is, and not as the jinchuriki or an obnoxious brat (that’s how Sakura saw him).”

Um... What??? I could make a post bringing up all the times Sakura cared but I’ll just point out the highlights.

(Sakura feeling guilty for treating Naruto badly, which ended the chapter, while in the anime there was an added scene that made her retract her guilt)

When Naruto stabs his hand, Sakura is the only one to voice her concern.

Sakura doesn’t even think twice about jumping in to save Naruto from getting hit by Zabuza’s sword.

Over time, Sakura finds herself becoming impressed by him(whether or not she admits it out loud.)

Sakura is the first one to master the Chakra control and tree climbing exercise and is able to provide Naruto with tips.

Sakura keeping regulation of both Naruto and Sasuke.

She finds herself inspired by him.

They are a family.

She looks after him when he’s reckless and gets himself hurt.

Sakura worries for Naruto and even tries to cheer him up before the written exam.

Sakura is one of the first people who supported Naruto’s dream to become Hokage, and didn’t want to see it ripped away from him.

The two times Sakura thought Sasuke hit Naruto, she defended Naruto against Sasuke.

Cheering for him.

Worrying for him.

Worrying for him again.

Saving him.

(speaking of standing up for Naruto against Sasuke)

Forces herself to stay awake while Naruto and Sasuke are out cold to keep them safe.

If this doesn’t say anything, I don’t know what does.

Rooting for him.

Again

Encouraging him not to lose

Thanking Naruto for cheering her on during her fight with Ino.

Cheering him on again.

Believing in him at a time when most others didn’t.

Sakura rooting for Naruto during the prelims.

Worrying for him.

Being happy that he won.

Her tender smile when she finds out Naruto saved her from Gaara.

Worry, because she doesn’t want to see either of her teammates fighting.

Her hoping that things will go back to normal.

Putting her faith in Naruto, her dear friend, the person who’d overcome impossible odds.

Her recalling her words about Naruto in the beginning.

Thanking him.

Recognizing how great of a friend Naruto was, as she has several times now.

Visiting Naruto in the hospital.

Feeling horrible when she sees his injuries.

Trying her best to alleviate his guilt.

Is willing to put aside her desire to get back Sasuke, likely because she doesn’t want to put Naruto through that pressure and life threatening situation again. She doesn’t want to see him injured or pushing himself anymore.

Reflects on her own failture to stop Sasuke, and how she’d put everything on Naruto to take care of.

Swears to be of help next time because she doesn’t want Naruto to go through everything alone the next time he confronted Sasuke.

Immediately after goes to Tsunade to ask her to take her on as her apprentice so she would able to get stronger for BOTH of her teammates.

Accepts that it’s going to be a very hard journey. Just as Sasuke trains under Orochimaru, and Naruto trains under Jiraiya, Sakura also trains under one of the Sannin. And that’s all in Part 1. Here’s Part 2(there are probably quite a few but I’m going to list the ones that come to the top of my head.

noticing his smarts again

They work really well together to beat kakashi :’)

Finds out he has the nine tails inside of him and only reacts with Empathy, but she never thinks of him any less because of what he has inside of him.

Sakura being one of the first ones to save Naruto from loneliness.

This doesn’t need an explanation.

Once again, no explanation needed

Naruto is genuinely amazed by her skills.

When Naruto is going through mental anguish due to Itachi’s illusions, it’s Sakura and Chiyo who breaks him out of the genjutsu.

And

It’s Sakura and Kakashi who encourage Naruto to get back on his feet after this. (Actually in general Sakura is really beneficial to the team because she’s good at breaking Genjutsu due to he excellent chakra control.)

Sakura once again finding herself amazed by Naruto’s abilities.

Feeling sympathy for Naruto’s situation about being targeted.

Okay, THIS SCENE DOES NOT GET ENOUGH APPRECIATION. SAKURA MAKING HER HORROR AND FEAR AT THE THOUGHT OF NARUTO DYING CLEAR. Naruto is important to her, she wishes she could take away his burden, but removing the nine tails will kill him and it’s enough to make her break into tears. She’s being a genuinely good friend here.

More of that.

Sakura feeling bad for Naruto when he hasn’t accepted Gaara is dead yet.

once again, very important.

This was painful in itself. When Gaara dies and Naruto feels so helpless, breaks down, you can tell just how much Sakura wants to be there for her teammate, just how bad she wants to be there for him, but she doesn’t say much of anything, because he’s already told Chiyo to shut up, and she doesn’t want to make him feel worse.

Some could chalk this up to a Sasuke moment, but I always saw this as a team 7 moment. Even though Sakura herself was pissed, she doesn’t want Naruto to be the target of irritation from Sai. She’s willing to take on that role for the both of them.

Sakura understands quite well some of Naruto’s feelings about Sasuke

yup

Stands up for Naruto again

feeling bad for him again

Sakura worries for Naruto, just like she worried for Sasuke when he ended up with the curse mark. Both Yamato and Kakashi keep her out of the matters and nobody ever lets her in on anything despite her being their teammate.

Don’t get me started on this scene. This is a little like the scene where Sasuke nearly killed the Oto-nin when the curse-mark consumed him(biggest difference being that Naruto knocked her aside because he wasn’t conscious anymore. On top of Sakura not wanting to see Naruto in such a state, she feels terrible guilt over the promise he made her and the pressure it’s put on him (feels guilt yet again, a recurring thing that happens numerous times in the series). She doesn’t judge Naruto for having the nine tails inside of him. Rather, she hates that he’s been having to go through all of this and confronts him head on despite how reckless it is, because she doesn’t want to see him struggling alone like this.

Sakura healing Naruto. Sakura also wishing she could do more for Naruto, even being willing to learn a new jutsu to be able to help him (would have if it wasn’t for the fact that Yamato was the only one capable of using it due to Hashirama cells.)

Yet another great moment to show just how much Sakura cares about Naruto and wants to be able to be there for him. :’)

Doesn’t want to cause Naruto any guilt or worry, so she holds back the truth.

Oh yeah, such a “terrible friend”

Yet again she doesn’t want to make Naruto feel bad so she doesn’t tell him that he was the one who hurt her

which need I remind you devastates him when he finds out.

‘course it adds to his determination to work on controlling the nine-tails

Team 7 moment

I don’t think I’ve mentioned this before but Sakura does a good job at regulating Naruto and usually he’ll stand down if Sakura says something when he’s picking fights.

This

this is important because it show cases Sakura’s desire to help Naruto get Sasuke back.

Some took this as a SasuSaku moment in the manga(due to the lighting and the fact that Sakura and Sasuke are the only two that look at the photo in the manga), but this could also be taken as a Team 7 moment, since Sakura(who more than anything wanted to “get stronger together” had been basically told by Kakashi that his priority was Naruto since Naruto was the only one the training applied to.

(then again, Naruto himself right after was thinking about Sasuke so hard to say, but I think it could qualify as team 7, about Naruto’s and Sakura’s desire to save Sasuke, and Sakura’s desire to do something to help Naruto achieve their goal together, about her feeling helpless right then.)

Has faith in him to fight Kakuzu.

That

Having faith in him once again, when others don’t.

Isn’t afraid to scold him if he steps out of line and is disrespectful to people who are doing everything they can as fast as they can..

That isn’t to say she doesn’t understand.

Roots for him again.

When Sakura’s home gets obliterated in front of her, it’s Naruto she calls out for (before tending to the injured)

That

Even when Sakura is depressed herself, she goes out of her way to try to cheer Naruto up.

Appreciation

Guilt, once again, for putting such a promise on him.

There was also this. Sakura should have taken different actions, sure, but she found out about Naruto’s feelings at the worst possible time, and it wasn’t like it was out of any ill intent, she was genuinely trying to protect him, since he’d gotten hurt over and over again thanks to his devotion to Sasuke.

After all.

She was prioritizing Naruto and was prepared to give up her feelings for Sasuke to ease Naruto’s burden.

Thanks Naruto after she saves him.

Stands up for Naruto against Sasuke yet again

Gratitude (and also being sorry about the poison)

That

The tender look she gives him

Defends Naruto again.

Supporting Naruto in the war

Sakura manually pumping Naruto’s heart, and refusing to let him give up on his dream.

Also, no offense against Hinata, but I doubt her relationship with Sasuke could be anything like this.

Also, Sakura is irreplaceable because (aside from how many lives she’s saved, and how beneficial her chakra control is to the team) she’s meant to be like Tsunade (Jiraiya, Hashirama and others even compared her to Tsunade,) and they’re both medics. They’re the next young sannin.

And a paralleled Team Minato/Team Hiruzen with a happy ending

#sasusaku #narusaku #naruto #naruto uzumaki #sakura haruno #pro sakura haruno #sasuke uchiha #team 7

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gagmebucky · 3 years

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Hi, I just really wanted to rant about something and I don’t really want to talk about it with anyone I know irl so…

My dad is just a normal guy in every sense of the word, good and bad. One thing that’s bothered me for a while now is how I recognized he talks to my mom and while it’s not degrading, it’s just entitled and annoying.

Since my brother and I were born, she quit her job to take care of us so he’s been the one primarily earning money. This arrangement hasn’t put our family in any type of financial jeopardy at all, we live in a nice house in a nice area and his job combined with the money he makes from his previous service in the military makes him around 150k a year. One thing I’d like to note is that he works a normal 8 to 5 job. But for a year or so the majority of his company has switched to a12 hours day so they get a three day weekend every week.

Now I know you may be wondering what money has to do with any of this and I promise that I’ll get to that part I’m just really angry and need to get this all off of my chest.

Anyways, my mom started working again 2-3 years ago at his request and now she works AND does all the stereotypical motherly things (cooks dinner, cleans, any other odd jobs that need to be done around the house)

All the while my mom has been doing this, my dad does his 12 hour days (including lunch in those 12 hours) and he’s allowed to take 10 minute breaks and most often times watch tv in the background while he’s working (he’s been working from home since COVID and doesn’t have any plans to go back since his job is mostly on the computer anyways other than a couple in-person meetings a month)

After my dad is done with work, he basically retires for the night and just watches tv while waiting for mom to serve him whatever food or leftovers she’s put on a plate for him.

Now, I get to the current issue.

My mom doesn’t ask for much or even anything from him in terms of helping her. But there are just some things that make me angry when he says them.

In the past couple of weeks for pretty much the 1st consistent time since March, my dad started walking and exercising again which he does outside or in the garage. My father has naturally oily skin, and even if he didn’t, he is exercising so his skin will be sticky and sweaty! RIGHT!?!?!

However when my mom brought it up a couple days ago she didn’t even say what we both were thinking which was YOU STINK AND ARE THEREFORE MAKING THE HOUSE STINK!!!

Instead, she politely asked if he would take a shower since he worked out and specificied that she was telling him this out of love without even mentioning him stinking up the house or more specifically the kitchen that he was in.

Instead of understanding that exercise makes you sweat and sweat makes you smell, he snarkelly shot back, that he had something to tell her out of love too. And although he trailed off with a cocky laugh, the context of the situation and his numerous past suggestions obviously implied that he was talking about my mom’s weight.

I would like to specify that my mother is not obese or unhealthy, in fact she eats considerably less junk food than he does. And even if she was, it did not prompt my dad making that “joke”.

Now fast forward a few minutes, my mom and I left to go grocery shopping for the food she would make for him without him even having to lift a finger. She ranted to me that him needing to take a shower had nothing to do with her weight. From what she was saying I could tell that she wasn’t that angry about what he said about her weight, but more so about him deflecting the conversation from his smellyness to her (which is something he does often so he doesn’t look like the “bad guy”)

Now to today, my father once again “joked” with my mom when asked if he would honestly like to help her blow dry her hair (I say honestly because she wanted his honest opinion on whether he would like to do it or not, and it was something she never really needs help with but she wanted to spend time with him) he said that he needs to consult the “guy’s handbook” to figure out if that was a trick question. (My father is 55 years old and they’ve been married for 30 something years)

I’m sure there’s a psychological reason why I got so angry at him but I’m not going to settle that I was once again tired that he treated my mom like crap despite her doing everything for him. So I told him that my mom was being serious and it wasn’t a trick question.

I (kinda) knew that he knew this, and was trying to make a joke. But explaining it was my version of the whole “I don’t understand your ‘joke’ please explain it to me” in an attempt to discourage him from making it again.

But in an event that I would have seen coming if I wasn’t so angry, it didn’t work and he instead got mad at me. Recognizing that I could have handled the situation better, I just apologized however I was crying because of his rant that I wasn’t a part of the conversation and shouldn’t have stepped in . (I normally wouldn’t be so sensitive but for some reason it’s like everytime I have a family argument it’s that time of the month so I’m emotionally sensitive)

I retreated back into my room and apparently I wasn’t crying as quietly as I thought I was because be he then knocked on my door, then demanded that I come out and “spend time with him” so he could know what was wrong.

Now, I thought this was code for I’m going to apologize, but no… he literally didn’t understand that his words hurt my feelings and demanded that I tell him what was “really” wrong as if him yelling at me wasn’t a good enough reason to be crying.

After curtly telling him what was wrong in so many words as to not offend him further. He dryly apologized before defending himself and saying that it wasn’t his fault that I got angry and he was just trying to make a joke that he insisted would apparently be funny if I didn’t cut in. Then he dryly promised that he would try to treat my mother nicer and not make as many “jokes” because he can tell how much it affects me.

There is probably more to the story that I forgot to leave out. And I kinda want to know if I’m in the wrong in the situation or not. And reading back over this i am definitely biased but if you can manage to remove the emotion from my words then those are honestly the facts about what happened.

I recognize that I am selfish, he actually told me that one, but looking back over my life I know that I have been rude when “defending” my mom. I put it in quotations because my mom doesn’t need defending and she is more than capable to speaking up when there’s a big problem.

But I just get annoyed at people when they rudely deny her some of the smaller things she requests like help blow drying her hair and things she won’t insist on them helping on. I’d understand if kindly said no thanks or I can’t do it right now, but he just had to joke about it and be curt in his response for no reason.

All in all I’m just so angry that it is impossible for him to acknowledge what he did wrong without defending that actions that make someone sad or angry in the first place.

But anyways, I am extremely sorry for the rant and writing so much and I honestly don’t blame you if you didn’t even read all of this. I just wanted to tell someone and I love how your blog is so open and judgement free and you don’t act like you have all the answers of what is right or wrong but you just give your opinion and help when you can. Thanks so much for listening (reading, really) and I appreciate you so much!

baby, you didn’t do ANYTHING wrong. you are the opposite of selfish — your dad was being a fucking dick to your mom and you stood up for her. you had every right to be angry, and if i were you, i would’ve said some low blow, disrespectful, kick-me-out-of-the-house ass shit.

i think (respectfully) you’re over analyzing yourself to find fault in yourself when it isn’t really there in my opinion. he’s complaining that you’re rude when he was the rude one and you literally just defending your mom. being rude is like “you stinky piece of shit, im gonna fucking drown you in bleach and lets see you make another fuckin comment BITCH”

but you did not do that therefore his argument is invalid. i can only say so much because it’s you in the thick of it but it definitely seems like your dad’s arrogant and entitled personality is so overbearing that it makes you be harder on yourself than you should be. i think, legally, you should get hit him once with a bat, non lethally of course (unless….. haha…?). i just know personally dealing with that personality type can create a LOT of contained anger.

anyway, im rly sorry you have to deal w him. i feel like you have a lot of weight on your shoulders and you seem so sweet and nice and you do not deserve to have to give your energy to that :(

#i would’ve said some vile things i wouldve said things that would make him disown me #i would poured a little rat posion in his drink just enough to make him sick not to like kill yknow #if it isn’t clear I… I have a lot of violent feelings and am a little… insane #ILU AND IM SORRY U HAD TO DEAL W THAT #q answers

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anika-ann · 4 years

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Of Jewels and Gems (B.B)

Type: One-shot, Reader-insert Word count: 1740

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary: Medieval AU with thief!Bucky and princess!reader.

Based on a prompt: ‘I snuck in the castle to steal the royal crown but I’m stealing you instead au’.

Warnings: briefest violence, mention of anxiety if you squint

A/N: Prompt is a courtesy of @caplanbuckybarnes ‘s challenge! Thank you for gathering so many wonderful ideas! Also, I did not follow the prompt entirely, but I’m sorta hoping that it’s okay 😇

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

Your heels were clapping softly as you wished to blend with the shadows of the castle’s corridors, sweetly lit by many torches, casting a lovely game of shadows on the walls and warming the otherwise cold space. Most importantly though, the space the lit up was empty – and you allowed yourself to inhale and exhale in relief, tension leaving your shoulders at last.

Your sky-blue dress, threaded by silvery white as if to compliment the feast, the celebration of winter solstice, brushed the hard-stony floor with every step, a rustle tender like a breath, remaining elegant even as the door to the royal ballroom closed after you.

You had sought a moment of refuge from the attentive if not downright prying gazes, which never seem to leave your person as if expecting to find a flaw – a living proof of the princess not belonging on the throne, on her rightful place to take in only a few years’ time.

Not one guard dared to follow you; whether the expression on your face was to blame or your status of Crown Princess, you couldn’t find yourself to care, simply grateful to Gods for such blessing. Endlessly grateful for a brief moments of serenity and solitude with nothing but a literal whisper of ‘Thank Gods’ on your lips.

Should you take Gods’ name in vain, Queen’s voice echoed in your mind, they will punish you for your insolence.

And as mother had told you on numerous occasions, they truly did, the punishment appearing in front of your eyes as if from thin air.

With a muffled thud of expensive boots, a dark, strong male figure, clothed in an attire barely suitable for such memorable day, emerged from the shadows four feet from you, almost as if falling from the ceiling.

“Halt!” a strict voice ordered to the stranger instantly, the sound fazing you only for a fleeting moment as realization dawned to you; it was your own voice that had found its way out and echoed in the otherwise abandoned walls. “Show yourself!”

The man indeed halted in his steps, clearly taken aback by your presence, and slowly turned around to face you; only then you took notice of his hands cladded in black gloves, clutching a sack no bigger than his head.

Much to your surprise, a grin swiftly replaced the grimace twisting his unfamiliar face and his bright eyes seemed to light up while his gaze rudely roamed your figure, finally landing on your frowny expression.

“Ah, the princess herself! What an honour!” a deep timber of a voice called out.

Then the stranger attempted and failed to curtsy, giving you an impression of a man mocking you.

A righteous offence taken warmed up your head in an instant; yet, you had been taught to be nothing short of polite, ever, and so you approached the man with kindness and caution as if to battle his rudeness.

“What are you seeking in these corridors, my lord? You should not-“

“My lord!” he echoed, a blend of more mockery and awe colouring his voice in deep marron, his next slurred words giving away his origin – one that could have not be noble, ringing all alarm bells in your mind. ”Whadda polite thin’ ya’re.”

“Excuse me? And who do you believe to be to address me in such manner?!” you snapped back, forgoing all the manners you had been taught and reaching to your bodice for a hidden slot instinctively. “What is it you hide in your sack?”

His eyebrow rose in bewilderment, his smile widening visibly under his thick dark beard – however, you did not miss how his eyes flickered to your side, where your hand had sneaked to take a hold of your dagger.

One single step in your direction, a minute shift in his posture, and your weapon was drawn, blade in the height of his eyes; his pupils enclosed in blue-grey irises swiftly refocused on the sharp object, his hands slowly lowering the sack. Under your attentive gaze, he went to unwrap it.

“Do you not come closer or I shall call the guards!” you warned him, your voice rising in volume to emphasize your point, to show him that your actions and threats were as far from a jest as he could imagine.

“Just showin’ ya’ the sack, Princess, no need to get jumpy,“ the stranger grumbled, eyes never leaving yours as he revealed his secret.

A gasp of pure surprise and horror left your lips, a momentary weakness swaying your strength and causing you to lower the blade only a fraction. Spots danced in your vision upon the revelation.

In an instant, faster than you could ever hope to comprehend, a slightly painful twist of your wrist had you drop your weapon, a rustle of fabric the only warning before your back gently hit the wall with a soft thud, pinned by his body, entirely immobilized.

Before you could attempt a scream, a calloused hand covered your mouth – a dirty, filthy hand, one which had touched the royal crown (!) without permission, without any right--- and as if such insolence wasn’t insulting enough, the man, momentarily touching you as well, clearly attempted to steal it.

Attempted to steal the crown jewels!

Oh Gods-

The clank of your dagger on the stony floor broke the vicious circle of your consternation; however, you couldn’t bear tearing your gaze away from the handsome face as you found it in such close quarters with yours, few inches only. Hard warm body had found its way to press against yours further, hard and yet almost soft, as if holding you down with care.

Perhaps you should have tried and alert the guards even incapacitated--- however, you couldn’t. Your shock at the impertinence of this man was long gone, its rightful place taken by awe at his startling beauty.

Your heart was attempting to beat its way out of your chest, for reasons you seemed to be unable to fully grasp; never you had thought fear was so near to excitement and fascination. You never hoped a man’s body touching yours could feel so wonderful.

“I don’t like bein’ rude, doll.”

Not even the contradiction of such sentence – calling you a doll, which for an explicable reason brought you pleasure, and the exclaim of his aversion to disrespect – could hope to snap you from your trance.

The huff of exasperation against his palm was more of an instinct, half-heartedly meant, as your eyes seemed to have a mind of their own, unable to escape the trap of his gaze.

“So I gotta introduce myself,” the stranger hummed, observing you with equal interest as if he saw you for the first time, as if all of your people didn’t know your face. “They call me Winter.”

Every muscle in your body tensed at the exclaim and yet, you turned nearly limp in his hold as you succumbed to the sudden faintness.

Winter.

You have heard of that name, clad in a fog of mystery. Winter, the fabled thief, given the name for he was always coming on days of celebrations of the winter solstice; and yet, while all kingdoms remained at highest alert for the fear that he would arrive at their doorstep, he always managed to slip through their fingers, almost as if being a master of mystical arts.

Some didn’t believe in his existence as such at all; however, the losses in royals’ and noble’s belongings were far too real for the man to be a mere legend.

In this moment, Winter – especially since standing right in front of your own eyes – appeared indeed startlingly real.

And as much as such realization was disconcerting, you felt yourself being thoroughly charmed and fascinated.

Your mind could not but race to solve the mystery – how many gems he had stolen before they began to reflect in his face? Eyes like topazes, threaded with silver lining, precious ruby lips hidden in a rich dark beard covering a jaw worth of royalty. A golden crown would complete the picture and perhaps its glow already twinkled in the thief’s irises.

“I don’t wanna hurt ya’, pretty doll. So, don’t ya’ scream, yeah?” Winter whispered a secret, a plea, and you couldn’t but comply, even if you found yourself missing the warmth and weight of his palm. A smile graced his lips again, your heart replying with a flutter. “I’m gonna walk away and you’re not gonna say a thin’ ‘bout me, yeah?”

The gems glimmering in his eyes shone brighter as they indulged in observing your face with something resembling attraction as you she battled with yourself, vainly attempting to overcome the spell he put on you, causing you to only nod – rather than acting upon a rational thought and calling for guards to capture the infamous thief.

The most skilled thief you had ever encountered; though you had not met many.

Rough fingers with the softest touch brushed your cheek and you wondered how only was it possible to steal someone’s breath, the air from their lungs; for this was what it felt like, a brief encounter of skin and skin, fleeting, yet eternal as your face appeared to absorb the heat of his touch.

A playful smile, a smirk blending into a tender grin, spread your assailant’s mouth.

“Next time… I’m stealin’ the real crown jewel, Your Highness,” a confident exclaim left his lips before they encountered yours in a hasty peck, pleasant warmth only lasting a moment, yet long enough to ignite fire in your bones. Your eyes nearly fluttered shut in an unexpected bliss.

He had the audacity to wink at you as he took his retreat, claiming both his price and your dagger for a good measure, still smiling, as if the weapon meant a memento to him.

He left you in your stupor, form unmoving besides the swift motions of your chest as you hoped to catch your breath, to calm your fluttering heart and tingling fingertips and most importantly, to regather your wits.

Winter had already taken his leave long ago when you, in your mind, proclaimed him the most skilful thief in seven kingdoms indeed – for he had stolen your breath… and perhaps captured your heart as well.

Of that you were certain when the next day, you could feel your face light up as a brand-new dagger was brought to you by your loyal handmaiden Wanda, along with a note written in charming cursive, without a name signed yet self-explanatory:

Till next time, Jewel mine.

And you felt as if the next-time couldn’t arrive soon enough, your body already aching for your missing heart.

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

Of Thieves and Queens of Hearts (sequel, ‘one-shot’)

B.B. masterlist (...yes, it’s that short)

•• ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••

Thank you for reading!

And wow, look at that, I wrote something short again; I blame my poor attempts at writing Bucky 😄

#cappysforeverchallenge #fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes imagine #winter soldier x reader #winter soldier x you #winter soldier imagine #bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #winter soldier #captain america #medieval au #au #thief bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfic #of jewels and gems #anika ann

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the-psychopathist · 4 years

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Kilgrave Analysis

I finally finished season 1 of Jessica Jones and I had to make an analysis of this version of the Marvel villain Kilgrave (known as The Purple Man in the comics), real name Kevin Thompson in the tv series, played by David Tennant. Without further ado let’s deep in!

Kilgrave, born Kevin Thompson, developed a severe brain malfunction at a young age and was fated to become brain dead. His parents, both scientists, tried to save him with experimental treatments. But those treatments were extremely painful and even inhumane. We are first introduced to Kilgrave’s backstory through a video of him as a child, seemingly getting abused for the sake of some cruel experiments only by his parents, which are portrayed as “mad scientists”. This revelation may have brought some sympathy to Kilgrave, thinking that he was an abused child brutalized by cruel parents, but we learned later that Kilgrave lied. His parents were actually trying to save him and didn’t abandon him right after. After the experiments cured Kilgrave and gave him his mind control power, they stayed with their child and took responsibility for their actions. Young Kilgrave abused his power on them, mind controlling his parents to satisfy every of his whims, regularly throwing tantrums at them and hurting them. He forced his mother to burn her own face with a stream iron. At some point it was too much for his parents who feared for their safety and they ran away, leaving their son to survive on his own.

But, even if Kilgrave lied about certain parts of his past, it doesn’t mean his grudge against his parents was unjustified. From his perspective as a young child, his parents were torturing him. The fact they were trying to save his life doesn’t change how painful, frightening and traumatizing the experiments done on him were. We even see him panicking when he sees the video of himself getting abused. It’s normal that he grew resentful of his parents and felt like they didn’t love him and only cared about their work. With his new power, it’s not that surprising that a grudgeful and traumatized kid would have used it to get revenge on his parents, who he viewed as his abusers. And after being actually abandoned by them (although it’s understandable from their perspective), Kilgrave’s grudge only grew stronger, as well as his feeling of not being loved. He was left to survive on his own, using his power to force people to give him shelter and feed him. Honestly, it’s not that surprising that he ended up as a remorseless and unempathetic monster growing up, given his pasts and his power to literally bend anyone to his will. No wonder he ended up as a selfish prick who thinks the world revolves around him, as it literally is from his perspective.

Kilgrave confessed that he never knows when people are just acting upon his words of if their actions are from their own free will. His power most likely isolated him from others and prevented him from creating genuine bonds with others. People are basically just tools for him to satisfy his needs so he stopped seeing them as human beings. He doesn’t care about their feelings, their needs, their pains. Only his needs and feelings matter. This made him callous and remorseless, as well as causing him a serious lack of empathy and complete disregard for human lives.

When Jessica asked him if he does have a conscience or regrets his actions, he said that he does have a conscience, but that his was “selective”. Throughout the series he never showed any consideration for anyone other than himself and at a certain degree, Jessica. So it’s not that Kilgrave is unable to feel empathy, more that he became so desensitized to others’ feelings that he can’t empathize with them anymore. But it’s not impossible for him to feel a certain amount of empathy as shown with Jessica. Though this empathy has limits and he doesn’t seem to have any issues with trying to harm or kill her if it benefits him or on a whim if she enraged him. He did seem intrigued by the idea of becoming a hero, but that was just a way for him to be closer to Jessica and for his own self-satisfaction to have people be genuinely grateful to him, which he never experienced before. It just feeds his narcissistic nature.

Another characteristic of Kilgrave is his complete inability to accept any responsibilities for his actions. He forced people to kill themselves numerous times yet refused to be called a murderer. Even if they had no other choice to obey him and end their lives, he doesn’t accept the blame. He’ll blame them for being an inconvenience to him or say that he just removed nuisances from society. He also forced Hope to kill her parents as a way to get revenge on Jessica, blaming her for their death. He was apparently totally unaware that he was a rapist. When Jessica rightfully confronted him about raping her, he was genuinely shocked. He really didn’t even consider that what he was doing was rape. He denied the accusation, saying that he brought her to nice restaurants and hotels. He refuses the label of murderer and rapist because it would be like admitting his wrongdoings and he can’t. He wants to be seen as a victim and blame others for his actions.

Kilgrave is also a big egomaniac and narcissist. He’s a selfish man who doesn’t take insults against him lightly. The first time we actually saw him, he forced a rather wealthy family to shelter him, not only ordering them to let him in and feed him, but also added that they are “delighted” to have him as a guest. When Trish insulted him on radio he sent someone to kill her and after she apologized live, he was pleased enough to let her live. As mentioned earlier, he was shocked and upset when Jessica called him a rapist, thinking that she should be grateful that he brought her to nice restaurants and hotels. To him, it’s an honour to be with him. He doesn’t accept the slightless disrespect towards him and will make sure the person who dared insulting him will pay. Upon learning about Jessica’s relationship with Luke, Kilgrave felt deeply offended that she chose Luke over him, even accusing Luke of sabotaging his relationship with Jessica.

He also seemed to have abandonment issues. He resents his parents for abandoning him and, according to him, not loving him. This feeling seems to have worsened after meeting Jessica. After Jessica broke from his control and left him to die after being hit by a bus, Kilgrave felt abandoned by her. He grew to resent her and be obsessed with her. He meticulously planned his revenge against her, using Hope to do so and forcing her to kill her own parents to hurt Jessica. When he managed to convince Jessica to live with him in her old house, he grew extremely worried that she might leave him again.

That brings us to Kilgrave and Jessica's relationship. When he first met her, Kilgrave was attracted to her beauty, but also mainly intrigued by her power. Just like him, she was special. “But underneath it all the power, just like me. Though not quite as good, of course” was what Kilgrave told her. It seemed that for the first time, Kilgrave might have found someone he can relate to, someone similar to him… but, he felt the need to say “not quite as good”, showing his narcissistic side and his incapacity to see someone as a genuine equal. Despite that, we can see that Kilgrave valued Jessica differently than his other victims. He kept her for months as his “lover” (sex slave) and genuinely believed himself to be the perfect gentleman with her. At some point he even didn’t give her any orders for twelve hours, to test her loyalty and if she truly loved him. For him to even consider that, he must be delusional or desperate for Jessica’s love. For someone to actually love him. And given that Jessica is similar to him, he feels like maybe she can accept him. Kilgrave remembered this event in his own twisted reality, thinking that for the 18 seconds Jessica wasn’t under his control, she was acting true to herself, therefore actually loved him. In reality, Jessica actually tried to escape but was too slow. As a punishment, Kilgrave ordered her to cut her own ears: "You never appreciate anything I do for you. If you can't listen to me you don't need ears... Cut them off”.

Right when Jessica started to cut her ear, he changed his mind and told her to stop, gently hugging her. Kilgrave never seemed to have changed his mind when he decided to mutilate someone. I wouldn’t say he had guilt, but that he does care a little bit about Jessica. In his mind, he rewrote this memory and convinced himself that Jessica stayed with him and that she loved him. Obviously, it’s important for him to feel that someone loves and stays with him willingly, as he was never able to experience that in his life due to his power.

After Jessica broke from his control he became obsessed to get her back. He felt once again abandoned and unloved. When he finally managed to meet with Jessica again, he confessed her love to her and promised he wouldn’t use his ability on her anymore. He bought back Jessica’s childhood house without forcing the current owner to leave as a sign of good faith. He then made sure that everything is the same as when Jessica was still living there, showing his deep obsession about her. Jessica agreed to go live with him in her old house, but simply to get a confession out of him for the murder of Hope’s parents. Kilgrave is completely delusionned, convinced that he can make Jessica fall in love with him and stay with him willingly with such overconfidence. He still used brainwashed people to make sure Jessica doesn’t try to leave or hurt him and became really worried when Jessica went on a walk, showing again his fear of abandonment.

But we learned later that he didn’t promise to not use his power on Jessica out of sympathy and concern for her, but because he knew his power didn’t work on her anymore. Well, maybe he wasn’t sure, but he had a doubt, and trying to use his power on her and failing would have revealed to Jessica her advantage over him. He had to keep control, so telling her he won’t use his power anymore preserves the illusion of power he has over her and makes him look more sympathetic and in good faith. Obviously, if he was sure he could use his power on her, he would have done it without a second thought.

When Jessica deceived him and kidnapped him, interrogated him, tortured him in order to get a confession, he grew resentful against her. When confronted by his parents, he snapped, telling them how much he felt abandoned. After his mother tried to kill him to stop his rampage, he ordered her to stab herself as many years she had abandoned him, killing her.

He tried to manipulate Jessica, convincing her that she loves him and stayed with him on her own free will when he didn’t use his power for twelve hours, until she revealed to him that she just didn’t have the time to escape. This broke Kilgrave's delusion that Jessica loved him all along. Feeling unloved and abandoned once again as well as having his massive ego hurt, Kilgrave became angry at Jessica and started trying to kill her. He forced her to watch her crush Luke blow himself up and mind control him to attack her, as well as using his father’s knowledge to make his power stronger in hope he can control Jessica again. He seems to keep changing his mind between killing Jessica or getting her back, showing how impulsive and unstable he can be. He did say his conscience (empathy) is selective, and Jessica seems to be the only one he cared about, and here we can see how easy it is for him to not care anymore if it benefits him. He even said that he would enjoy killing her but still hesitate if he truly wants to kill her, control her, or break her heart.

He eventually tried to use his power once again against Jessica and seemed to have succeeded. Kilgrave thought that Jessica was playing him so he controlled Trish, forced her to kiss him and claim he will make her her slave and rape her everyday to make Jessica react. Much to his surprise, Jessica didn’t move, making him believe that his power worked again on her. He is rejoiced, ordering Jessica to smile for him, which she does. He then told her to not worry and that she’ll come to love him as he loves her, somewhat trying to comfort her and again craving Jessica’s love. But turns out, Jessica wasn’t under his control, she grabbed her neck and out of irony told him to “smile” before she breaks his neck, killing him. His obsession for Jessica and desperate need for her to love him caused his undoing.

Throughout the series, Kilgrave has been referred to as a “psychopath”, a “sociopath” and “psychotic”. Do any of those terms adequately describe him? Well, medias tends to misuse mental illnesses and disorders and throw those terms for any “crazy” murderous villains. Do any of those diagnoses actually fit Kilgrave’s mental state? Quick summary, psychopaths usually refer to someone who is born that way and has a lack of empathy, fear, stress and anxiety due to a thinner amygdala. Psychopathy is considered as a neurodevelopmental disorder, a disorder that affects the development of the nervous system and leads to abnormal brain function. Nowaday it’s often referred to as “primary psychopathy”. “Sociopath” is an outdated term that doesn’t have any medical meaning anymore. It’s more of a pop culture term used for psychopaths, antisocial personality disorders, or just evil characters in general. So let’s forget about that one. I mentioned primary psychopathy, there’s also secondary psychopathy (who is also referred to as sociopathy sometimes). Secondary psychopaths aren’t born that way, they are mold and shaped by their environment, upbringing and possible trauma. While primary psychopathy is characterized by callousness, shallow affect, manipulation, and superficial charm, while secondary psychopathy is associated with impulsivity and lack of long-term goals, and is related to hostile behaviors. They don’t totally lack empathy, their empathy is more “selective” and unstable. Antisocial Personality Disorder is a personality disorder, something that is developed, not innate. ASPD doesn’t equate a violent criminal either but is characterized by a lack of remorse and disregard for others and the law. Not all primary psychopaths have ASPD but all secondary psychopaths do and is often comorbid with borderline personality disorder, which is characterized by abandonment issues and emotional impulsivity and unstability. Both primary and secondary psychopathies are in the spectrum of narcissistic personalities (without necessary being NPD), but not everyone with ASPD is also narcissistic.

Phew. Ok now that I’m done let’s go back to Kilgrave. Let’s cross out primary psychopathy. It’s obvious Kilgrave isn’t born that way and he showed multiple times fear, stress and emotional instability. He was made that way by his environment, upbringing and trauma. I talked before about how narcissistic he was and I do believe he could have NPD. He has a grandiose sense of himself, he viewed himself as special and unique and thus above others, great sense of entitlement, exploitative, lack of empathy and arrogant. He also seems to show signs of ASPD, he fails to obey laws and norms, he’s a lying, deceptive and manipulative person and do so for his own profit or self-amusement, he’s quite impulsive, irritable and aggressive and has a blatant disregard for the safety of others, he can’t take responsibility and lack remorse for his actions. I also mentioned his abandonment issues, how he fears that Jessica will abandon him and how he craves for her love. Those might be related to borderline personality disorder, which is described as: “disturbed sense of identity, frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment and extreme reactions to such, black and white thinking, impulsivity, intense or uncontrollable emotional reactions that are disproportionate to the event or situation, unstable and chaotic interpersonal relationships, distorted self-image, self-damaging behaviors, dissociation and is often accompanied by depression, anxiety, anger, substance abuse, or rage”.

I do think some of those criteria fits Kilgrave. I think he might have those three personality disorders or partially have them, all in the cluster B and comorbid. That would put him in the category of secondary psychopath. The fact his empathy can be selective and unstable regarding Jessica seems to also point to that conclusion.

I think Kilgrave is a well-written villain, his psychology and psyche is accurately portrayed in the series, even if his behaviours are explained they aren’t justified. He’s not just evil for the sake of being evil, we actually see how he became that way and can understand him. After all, evil is made, not born.

#jessica jones #marvel's jessica jones #kilgrave #the purple man #killgrave #kevin thompson #analysis #psychopathy #sociopathy

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whatifyoulivelikethat · 3 years

Text

warnings: extremely negative feelings towards a sibling, distressing / intrusive thoughts. placed under a break due to the content of the message. remember, I'm not a mental health professional.

updated with additional viewpoints from readers at the bottom!

I'm sorry in advance.

I really hate my older sister. She never respects my boundaries, insults me frequently, and is just annoying and hypocritical in general.

I've always had these issues with her, but she lived at her own apartment away from me and the rest of my family, so I've been able to control my hatred of her. But last year in March she moved back in and sold her apartment. She has no plans of leaving anytime soon, and I can't stand her.

We shared a bedroom for about a year because we were also taking care of my cousin who also moved in with us last year. My cousin has since moved out, but my sister is unfortunately here to stay for a couple of years. But with extra space, I was able to move into the spare bedroom and thought that would be the end of my problems.

It wasn't. In fact, she has become even more unbearable. The hardest part of this relationship is that she has a weird obsession with being with me. I'm not sure if this is because she loves me, or she's just weird. I think she's weird because my parents never act like she does.

Our bedrooms are right next to each other. There's really no reason for her to miss me. But every single fucking minute she's coming into my room to bother me. I would have more empathy for her if she acknowledged my limits, but she doesn't.

She's constantly cuddling me after I've said for MONTHS that I don't enjoy it and it makes me uncomfortable. She constantly belittles me by saying I couldn't live without her, and that I would be a mess if it wasn't for her (mind you, I've lived without her at the house for YEARS and I was perfectly fine). She's constantly in my business, interrogating me about every little thing. She once locked the door and wouldn't let me leave the room without answering her questions for 20 minutes; she asked me about a $30 Amazon order containing manga I ordered with MY OWN MONEY. And I had permission for my parents to order it! It wasn't her business whatsoever.

I've tried to keep her out numerous times; I've gotten in trouble for it. My parents say I'm being mean and that this is her way of loving me. What I feel like they ignore is that I'M UNCOMFORTABLE. Her way of "loving me" HURTS.

I've tried communication. I've had multiple meetings with my family about my boundaries and they say they'll change, but they never do.

Another factor that worsens this is that I have borderline personality disorder. I'm currently being denied therapy or intervention of any kind. I get told my mental illness is a result of me having an attitude and hating my family.

I writing this to you because I've been having very alarming thoughts recently. I'm been somewhat suicidal as long as I can remember, but this is different. I've been having nightmares about killing my family/my family killing me. I don't want to kill my family. As much as they have abused me, I know they truly love me deep down. But when I'm in a mental breakdown, I don't think for the most part. I'm afraid I'm going to do something to hurt them if they continue to push me. I'm too scared to turn myself into the police and I don't want to be taken away from my home. I truly need therapy, but it's expensive and I'm not allowed to get it.

Are there any options left for me? I love my family and I want to get better, but I can't stand them. It'll be a while before I can live on my own, and I don't think I'll make it that long.

I'm so sorry.

I appreciate that you came to me, however, please remember I am not a mental health professional.

I do not have the best relationship with my family. I've come to accept that they just exist and I moved away from them. I keep a strict level of familiarity with them for my own sanity and well-being. There are people in my immediate family I don't talk to anymore or only speak to in certain situations, with other people around to buffer my emotions. No one in my family understands or respects my mental health issues and I have ceased talking about it with them.

I will admit, I had to ask for help. I'm going to share the answer of someone I trust, because they are much more level-headed when it comes to something like this.

Use different words with your sister. Instead of "I'm mad or annoyed", use words that bring out more empathy - "You're making me sad and uncomfortable. You're hurting me." Anger is usually perceived as something within you, something you must control. But sadness is usually not perceived in the same light. People usually see sadness as something that has a cause and perhaps letting her know that she is the cause will have an effect on her. Using different words when speaking to her may slowly change her perspective.

When it comes to your parents, well, parents do not usually understand sibling dynamics. They're fucking useless most of the time when it comes to problems specifically between siblings. It might be better if you say something like, "Her constant intrusions are affecting my school work. My grades are going to drop." Usually, parents respond more urgently if you say you education is affected - and it doesn't matter if it's true or not, we're just trying to get them to help in some way.

I had to remind them it's summertime lol

Oh shit, you're right. Er. Well, In any case, it seems you've tried having reasonable discussions with your parents and it doesn't seem helpful to continue discussing this particular topic with them. Maybe get into fitness since it's summertime. Go outside, do something active. She can't cuddle you if you're running, right? Then you can also be stronger and feeling better physically improves mental health. Put some music on, go hiking or running, take yourself out of the situation.

I don't know if this is possible, but perhaps if you're experiencing a mental breakdown and you're afraid of hurting your family, run out of the house? It might be better to be physically away from them at that time to avoid saying or doing anything you regret. It may help clear your head and help your family realize that this is something that is truly debilitating to you.

I don't know your age, so I don't know if the school thing is relevant. It's only a suggestion.

You said it will be a while before you can live on your own. When I knew the cons of living with my family outweighed the pros, I did everything in my power to prepare myself for leaving because I needed a goal in order to survive. I needed distractions, reading, writing, gaming, music, anything else to occupy my mind and help control my thoughts. There was a time when I needed music to fall asleep (headphones in on low volume).

Also... uh.

I'm not saying you should do this. I'm only saying I did.

My siblings and I have physically fought before. One has scars from fighting me. The scarred one is the one closest to me currently.

Not saying you should do it.

But I did.

If anyone feels comfortable enough to share how they dealt with it in their own situation, please do. Maybe more perspectives can help this person.

some other experiences sent to me:

anon #1

I don't think I had a situation that extreme but my brother was a little like that. I honestly had to become kinda rude and indifferent. Like he'd always use my laptop and stuff and I put passwords on everything and just don't tell him. And then when he tried to hug or cuddle id say I don't liek it and just push him away physically now this soudns fucking obvious when I say it this way but like I don't think I read that u tried it ? Idk I discovered I have a loud annoying scream that neighbours will hear, and fucking strokg legs I used to kick him away but like I was tiny so I don't really endorse violence but I didnt like being close to a 'boy' essentially at taht age so yea... Idk man siblings are weird and I have had intrusive thoughts so I think I didn't handle it well but for a few years I became an asshole to him and then now I'm good with talking sometimes and I keep it short and sweet and I've mentioned that I'm sorry for being mean in the past bcuz like I am ? Bcuz I'm not an asshole ? ( But like I did what I had to do ) I hope u get the help and support u need

anon #2

I read the message from the previous anon and I have to say I relate to what they say. I wouldn’t say i’ve completely dealt with the situation when it comes to my parents.

I have 4 siblings and i’m the oldest, my sister that’s 2 years younger than me always gets in my way and is a tyrant. Because she’s much taller than me she overpowers me and i also have scars from when we’ve fought. My parents don’t intervene because they say we’ll make up soon and I honestly can’t stay mad at people for long. I also live with my parents and am not able to move out anytime soon until I get my degree.

A few weeks ago my mother was complaining to my father that I don’t help around the house and all that bullshit but it’s obviously not true. Anyway. My father came into my room and threw all my clothes from my cupboards on the floor and said my sister and I must get out of his house. He was literally pulling us and we were crying because where the hell would we go. My smaller siblings were begging for him not to chase us out of the house but he was ballistic. He was constantly throwing insults at me, calling me selfish and disrespectful. I was having a mental breakdown and I said i hope that God takes my life away because i’m too weak to do it myself. I kept saying that and when my parents heard me. They called me crazy and were laughing at me and said i should take it back because instead of me another one of my family members would go.

My parents don’t care about mental health and therapy. It’s all unnecessary to them. But after that night I tried to find my own way of getting rid of the negative thoughts, I choose to ignore what everyone tells me. I agree with everything that you said about trying to get away from their family when they have those thoughts. I try meditation and praying. I’m not sure if that person follows any religion but that’s what helped me. And writing can be cathartic. Also remember that you’re not alone, there are so many people out there who share your sorrows and can relate to your situation. I think about my little siblings who i’m close to and what it would be like if i wasn’t there.

Maybe if they could get a pet? I know having a pet can make you feel less alone and you feel a sense of responsibility towards them. As for their sister, she needs to see their point of view and tell her that she makes her feel overwhelmed with the things she does. She can spend time with her and try to make her understand that they need their space too.

anon #3

I also have sum advice 4 the sibling anon frm a fellow bpd buddy:

Does ur view of ur sister change from "i hate her" to "she's alright" sometimes? Viewing sum1 as all bad or all good is common in bpd ppl and usually changes alot. I rec writing down the moments where she shows she loves u. This could be thru buying smth for u or doing smth 4 u. I had a similar relationship w a friend and this exercise helped me remember that she might not have intentions to hurt me and might b trying 2 bond. Repairing the relationship might take a while. Talk alot if u can, it seems like ur family is at least willing to hear u out, even if there behavior doesn't change much. Keep sum distance if needed. Working out and finding fun hobbies is good.

If u feel like ur breaking down, try breathing exercises n identify 5 things u notice thru ur senses. What do u feel? What do u smell? What do u taste? What do u see? What do u hear? I personally like taking myself down rabbit holes. For example: I see a yellow jacket > this shade of yellow is a cool tone > what makes a color "cool" or "warm" > why do we associate red with warmth > what if the sun was blue > what if ocean water looked orange > is water wet

I usually end up forgetting what was making me upset. If it was a big deal I would still remember, but at least I would b less emotional and a bit more rational.

Search up cognitive behavior therapy and dialectical behavior therapy and try 2 practice sumthing similar 2 exercises u would perform w a therapist. Squeeze stress balls. Masturbate (this blog is perfect 4 that lol). Maybe watch some videos done by therapists on youtube. I watched a couple of videos abt therapists reacting 2 fighting in movies and I learned alot (this video was very fun to watch)!

Anyway that's what helps me! Good luck 2 u!!!

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starrynite7114 · 4 years

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silence is golden (angel reyes)

A/N: Thank you for the tag @vicmackeybullshxt! Sorry this took so long, but here is my entry! :D

Masterlist

tagged list: @justahopelessssromantic : @whyisgmora : @ifoundmyhappythought : @carlaangel86 : @gemini0410 : @marvelmaree : @iambabyharry : @woahitslucyylu : @scuzmunkie : @trulysuccubus : @enamoured-x : @encounterthepast : @1-800-imagines : @elcococruz : @samcrobae : @summertimesadnesswithadashofsass : @thickemadame : @sadeyesgf : @claytoncardenasbabymama : @sesamepancakes : @cherry-icetea : @jadert15 : @cind-in-real-life : @briana-mishell24 : @bribri-82 : @briannab1234 : @agirllovespasta : @chibsytelford : @twistnet : @sheeshgivemeabreak : @lady-pswrld : @blackmissfrizzle : @xserenax-13 : @robbosugdens : @courtrae89

Angel watched as your dickwad boyfriend was happily chatting up this woman on his lap. They frequented the same bars and every time he was alone, your boyfriend always had a woman on his lap. And he would just throw Angel a smirk, as if he was taunting him, mocking him that he would never tell you the truth, too afraid of what it would do to you.

“You’re just her baby fucking daddy, she doesn’t want you. If she did, why would she leave you when you two had a child together?” He would mockingly question Angel.

He didn’t know what you saw in the guy, but from what his son told him, he treated you well enough, even though your son has never met the guy.

But Angel has had enough.

‘How many times will she fall for his lines’

Watching this motherfucker cheat on you for the last three months was taking a toll on him.

“You really gonna let this motherfucker continue to disrespect your baby’s mom like that?” Gilly had enough of this bullshit. If Angel wasn’t going to tell you, he would. This guy thought he was god’s gift to women. He caught him getting a blowjob at the back of the bar, he proceeded to tell Angel and he had to drag his brother out to assure he wouldn’t beat him.

Truth be told, Gilly wasn’t exactly sure what made you fall for this prick. He didn’t seem to be your type and every time you two interacted, you looked incredibly bored. It was like you were keeping him around to keep your bed warm. If you wanted a bed warmer, Gilly could fucking get you one, hell, he knew his brother wouldn’t mind keep your bed warm.

Your break up with Angel was a mystery to everyone. There were no third parties. No arguments. No nothing. Angel just walked in one day with all of his shit and brought it to his room at the clubhouse.

That was a year and a half ago.

You and Angel had been together for ten years and had a five year old son. Regardless of the situation, you and Angel co-parented well. You met this motherfucker four months ago and you seemed to like him well enough. Angel really didn’t understand your relationship. He didn’t even try cause even after what happened, Angel had hoped you two would still be together. When you two broke up, it was so sudden, it caught him off guard. And the joke of it all, he didn’t even fight for you. He let you push him out because he fucked up. Even though he could argue that this was what you signed up for, he was almost certain you didn’t sign up for getting kidnapped and beat to the point you lost your unborn child.

You and Angel didn’t know.

You found out when you were being checked at the hospital.

It was fucking devastating and it took a toll on your relationship. No matter how hard Angel tried to reach out to you, you weren’t responding.

He thought, silence was golden. Thinking that’s what you needed, to figure it out on your own, but he should know you. Know how your thoughts become rooted and how it branches out to further poison your way of thinking. You never blamed him for the miscarriage, but your parting words made him stay away.

“I signed up to be with you because I love you and I always will. But I didn’t sign up to be a target in a means to hurt you. What if it was our son that was taken? I can’t live with that Angel. I’m done.”

And you were.

Angel grabbed his shit and left. Looking back at it now, he should have fought you then. Yeah, shit happened and he was fucking sorry for not being able to protect you, but it won’t happen again. He buried those motherfuckers for taking not only your unborn child away from him, but they took you away too.

“I’m gonna head out, I’m gonna talk to her.”

‘Should I tell her or should I be cool?’

‘And if I tried I know she'd say I lied’

It was a debate that Angel always had internally after seeing your dipshit of a boyfriend, or whatever the fuck he was. He didn’t want to look like that jealous asshole ex even though that was him. It killed him to see you with another person, but his thoughts got the better of him, saying this was for the best.

But you know what, this wasn’t.

You were both miserable. Even though you two co-parented well for the sake of your son, it wasn’t enough for Angel. He wanted his family back. He should have fought you months ago, but no better time than the present.

Parking his bike at your driveway, he hung his helmet on his bar, thinking of how to approach you about this. He just expected a fight so he was preparing for one.

Once he made it to your front door, he took a deep breath and unlocked the door with his key. It was nearing midnight so he was certain that Christian, your son, was already asleep. Locking the door behind him, he found the lights at the dining table and the kitchen open. He was almost certain you were there. Making his way over, he found you with your head on your arms as they laid on the table, peacefully sleeping.

This was his favorite sight to come home too. You were a hard worker and most often than not, he would find you just like how you were now, after a long day of work and taking care of Christian. Your strength always marveled Angel, even after a long day, you would smile when he would wake you up and fix him dinner, massage his back, whatever he needed you gave to him. It broke him to see you so defeated and broken after that incident.

“Baby,” he softly shook you, not wanting to startle you as he done plenty of times before to fuck with you.

You stirred before turning away from him to continue sleeping. Angel chuckled. He picked you up in his arms and brought you to your bed. He placed you on the bed and made his rounds as he usually did when he came home before. Checking all the locks and windows, turning off the lights, but leaving the porch lights on. He checked on Christian who was knocked out. Making his way back to your room, you were in the same position he left you in. Closing the door behind him, he pulled down the comforter gently and placed it on top of you. He debated if he should sleep on the bed with you, but he didn’t want to push his luck.

The doorbell rang.

He knew who it was. This motherfucker had some nerve to come here at this time of night. To top it off the fucker knew he wasn’t allowed in the premises when your son was at home with you. The only time that douche was allowed here was when Christian was staying with Angel.

This was done tonight. This motherfucker was never coming here again.

Angel looked at you one more time before making his way to the front door. The fucker began to ring the doorbell numerous times. Christian came out of his room and was rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

“Daddy, what’s going on?” He looked up at Angel, half asleep.

“I got it, just go back to sleep.” Angel kissed the top of his head and waited till Christian was in bed. He closed his door and made his way down to the front door.

“Open up Y/N.” He heard the douche call out.

Angel opened the door, startling the man. He took a step back and his eyes narrowed when his eyes landed on Angel. Before he could even utter a word to insult or belittle Angel, his gun was against his mouth, the man’s eyes widening.

“I’m going to keep it short and sweet, you’re going to stay away from my girl. If I even hear that you’re contacting her or breathing the same air as her, I’m gonna put a bullet in your head.” Angel’s finger ghosted over the trigger as the man watched his finger, praying to whatever deity he believed in. “I’m not just her baby daddy, I won’t hesitate to fucking kill you, do you understand me?”

The man nodded his head.

“Forget her, forget her address and her number. I’ve been patient with you, so don’t push me bitch.”

The man backed away slowly, Angel’s gun still pointed at him. He ran to his vehicle, hightailing it out of there.

“Stupid ass motherfucker.” Angel closed the door, locking it behind him. He checked on Christian again, who was thankfully sound asleep. Making your way to your room, he found you awake and looking down at your phone. “Hey amor, they rang the wrong house.”

You looked up at him, a smirk on your face. “Did they?”

“Yeah, nothing too crazy.” Angel stood by the door, not knowing if you wanted him to come any closer. Your relationship has been on the mend. You two were back to joking around again and he was incredibly thankful for that. He could tell you still tried to put distance between you two, which was fine, but he was going to close that gap soon.

“You know I have a camera at the front door right?” After the kidnapping, Angel installed security cameras all over the property. It was for you and for him, to make sure that you and Christian were safe, especially since he was living at Felipe’s.

This was always going to be temporary. Angel always had high hopes that you would wake up from your stupor and ask him to come home. It was just taking a little longer than he would like.

“Look, that motherfucker was a prick. We go to the same damn bar, and he fucking knows it, and he always has a girl on his fucking lap.”

“Really?”

Angel sighed. He closed the door and made his way over to you, hating that he had to tell you that your boyfriend was cheating on him. Your relationship was so complicated, Angel was just trying to go with your flow.

“Yes, look, he’s not fucking worth your time. You deserve someone who is going to love and cherish you, someone who is going to protect you.” Angel was talking about himself cause you had him fucked up if you think you were dating anyone else. “That motherfucker has been cheating on you since your relationship started. You don’t deserve that.”

“I really hope you’re talking about you because I made a big mistake.” Angel looked up at you and there it was, your smile, it was back. That teasing smile you always had when you were messing with him. Fuck. He missed that smile. “He wasn’t my boyfriend. I literally slept with him once.”

“What? What the fuck you mean you only slept with him once?” Angel was confused. This motherfucker boasted like he was your boyfriend.

You bit your lip. “He’s a co-worker of mine. We went out for some drinks, slept together and that was that. The times he would come over, we were working on a project together. I would kick him out right after.”

“Wait, what?” Angel stood up, hands on his hips. “So you two were never together?”

“Angel, how could you even think that I would be with someone so soon after we broke up?” You sighed. “I may have led you to believe that we were together because I just wanted a reaction from you. I know I pushed you away and it was childish to make you jealous, but I couldn’t help it.” Prior to the kidnapping, you felt that you and Angel had become stagnant. He was still sweet, but you just felt like he no longer felt as strongly for you. It was awful and then the kidnapping happened, and you lashed out. So many times you tried to speak to Angel, but he looked at you differently, like you were damaged goods. That you fucked up and lost the baby.

“Y/N, what’s going on?” Angel was still lost. That asshole carried himself with such confidence. The fact that he wasn’t even your boyfriend and had the audacity to show up at your home at this time of night? Angel had to fuck him up now. It was for the principle of the matter.

“Before the kidnapping,” you sighed. “I just feel like you’ve reached your limit with our relationship. The sex was still great, you were still so sweet, but I feel like there was something between us.” Hearing yourself aloud, it sounded more ridiculous and you wished you didn’t even start saying anything. “You know what, never mind.”

“No, babe, talk to me.” Angel knew this was around the time he was helping with the rebels, trying to help fund their mission and getting closer to Adelita. The attraction was there, but he never did anything because he was madly in love with you. Hearing you say that there was a wall in between you two before the kidnapping, it broke his heart.

“I love you Angel, you’ve been my world since I was twenty years old. We’ve been together before all the success we both found. I just,” you paused, closing your eyes as your fingers fidgeted. “All I want is for you to be happy and if you weren’t happy with me anymore, that was okay, I think. But then the kidnapping happened and you just looked at me like I was damaged goods. You looked at me with such pity at times, it hurt.”

Angel frowned. He sat next to you, taking your fidgeting hands into his. Kissing the back of your hand, he pulled you against him, your head resting on his chest.

“You’re my world, I’m sorry if I made you feel that way, I just didn’t know how to talk to you. Half the time, I was blaming myself for what happened and the other half, I was fighting my own demons. I love you so much and Christian as well. You two are my world.” Angel felt the tears coming down from his eyes as well.

A long overdue conversation was finally happening, and he was thankful.

“I love you too.”

“You know I’m still going to have to beat his ass, right?”

You pulled away from Angel, eyebrows furrowing at his words. “Who?”

“Your co-worker. That motherfucker disrespected me, most of all you. He has to pay.” Angel always discussed violence so nonchalantly. You couldn’t lie and say it didn’t turn you on, especially when you watched him threaten your co-worker.

“Just don’t go overboard.” You began to undress, not wanting to sleep in your leggings and shirt.

Angel chuckled and shook his head. “Don’t even bother wearing clothes, you’re not going to need them.”

undefined

youtube

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