skindogs

[thefreeblog]

Can I ask you a general BL question? We know that BL don't necessarily handle the LGBTQ issues correctly. From what I have seen there is recent change in this from the show makers. We see efforts towards this being made by production houses like KinnPorsche for example. So my question to you is 1. Are there any particular issues or LGBTQ representations you would like to see 2. Did you like any particular LGBTQ issue handle well in any of BLs you saw till now?

You can ask me anything anon. I'll try to answer to best of my capability.

When you say LGBTQ issues it's a huge umbrella term. Personally I think BL medium is not meant to be the mirror of our society with LGBTQ struggles and existence.

BL is kind of a dream world, they are essentially soaps where you forget the real world problems while watching them. And as a LGBTQ person myself I am thankful and appreciate it so much. We need all kind of stories to be told in gay. So in a way it's doing it's job of giving feel good gay stories to people who find them as a safe space. That being said, personally I would definitely like if we get feel good shows with real stories and meat, showcasing LGBTQ struggles.

For your first question let me think. May be I would like more of trans representation, not just as few side support characters but a main character who's story revolves around transition.

Oh yes and one other thing I would die for and have never seen represented in any media is of a bisexual person starting out as gay but later realising they are bi. I don't know how it will work out in BL because then there has to be a female lead for that. It's my personal story and I would like it to be represented some where any where. It's doesn't cost me for dreaming 🤷

For your second question from whatever BLs I saw till date I don't remember any ground breaking LGBTQ issues represented other than few good coming out sequences

- He's coming to me when he talks with his mom

- Gameboys Caireel talking to his mom about being gay.

But one BL which comes to mind that dances around LGBTQ issues or struggles and does a really good job is History 2- Right or Wrong. It's such an underrated BL imo.

- Shi Yi Jie giving the talk to young lost Xaio Fe

- Mutual physical attraction treated as what it is rather than over exaggerating it just because it's gay.

- Though Xaio fei knows he is gay, he is still reluctant towards PDA or when pitted against female competition, which is understandable.

- Shi Yi Jie asking Xaio Fei whether he does not trust him because he was married to a woman once. Literally this is every bi persons struggle when they are in relationship with a gay person.

- Shi Yi Jie handling the whole return of wife spectacularly and maturely

- Shi Yi Jie telling Yo Yo she can't marry Xaio Fei because he promised to marry her dad. And then proceeding to answer all her questions frankly.

This BL had all of the above and so much more. It's really worth a watch.

[seavoice]

in the end, we lie awake (and we dream of making our escape)

(click on title for AO3 link, or read more to continue here)

They could go to Alaska.

Annabeth wasn’t sure when she’d woken up. She’d been asleep at some point, of that she was certain, because Tartarus’s poisonous, suffocating air had been a heavy shroud on her senses, and for a moment she had borne it with a dreamlike paralysis before gasping awake to a sky full of glittering stars. Then she had lain there in one of Camp’s rolling fields, breathing in the sweet scent of strawberries. Safe, the scent said. Familiar. Safe. Just a nightmare like any other, and she could feel Percy sleeping next to her, warm and still.

They could go to Alaska.

They could. They totally could.

Percy rolled over in his sleep, hands pillowed under his head. Annabeth traced Andromeda in the stars. Bound and gagged and sacrificed by her parents.

“Percy?” Her voice came out a whisper. “Percy, do you want to go?”

Percy didn’t stir. She knew she only had to ask and he would wake, but she didn’t want to. Sleep was so hard to come by these days for both of them, and she could not rob him of it, no matter how viciously her throat burned with tears.

What would they do in Alaska? What would they not do in Alaska? The gods’ bidding for one.

They couldn’t get there by plane. Or boat, to be honest. It was okay. They’d drive, make a road trip out of it.

“Annabeth?” Fuck. There was a shifting noise next to her. Fuck. It seemed she had woken him, despite everything. She didn’t turn to look at him. “Hey, Annabeth, you okay?”

“Go back to sleep.”

“I could say the same thing to you,” Percy said, and now he was starting to sit up, hair adorably mussed. “Wouldn’t be an easy feat for you either.” True enough. Since Tartarus, once they were awake, they were awake.

“I’m okay,” she said. Hushed, she repeated, “Percy, do you want to go?”

Andromeda had probably screamed. When her parents had told her, she’d probably screamed. Begged. Fought.

Annabeth had never been able to place how the ancient heroes might have looked. She had stared at grainy old pictures in the mythology books, heroes of old rendered in colour, but Chiron had said the pictures were an imperfect likeness, and he had said this sadly. He had said he remembered them in crystal clarity—Achilles’s swift frown, and the sharp glint in Atlanta’s eyes and the sad slope of Heracles’s shoulders and Perseus with his bright smile—but he hadn’t volunteered any more than that. He had told her that it didn’t matter, how they had once looked, because he remembered them well enough in his mind. It was enough.

But Annabeth saw the photos in Chiron’s office, taken in careful focus, marking the end of every summer, meticulous in record. She saw it in his old eyes.

Annabeth had never been able to place how the ancient heroes might have looked. No mortal rendition did them justice.

There was one exception though, an ancient face who Annabeth had been unable to distinguish in her mind from a modern replica—Andromeda. Her face cleaved in sorrow and anguish, affixed on the mast of a monster infested cruise liner. A masthead that screamed through her gag, screamed through centuries.

Princess Andromeda. Let down by the gods, and her parents.

A stifled yawn. “Go where?”

Annabeth waited only a beat. “Alaska.”

It was a long, stilling moment in which Annabeth had thought Percy had fallen asleep, after all. Then—

“You?” Percy asked, lying back down. He blinked blearily at her. “You with the Yankee’s cap? You want to leave New York?”

“I just—“ Annabeth shrugged, a move made complicated by the grass and her lying down. “They can’t find us there.”

“Hm,” Percy said. He tugged her closer to him. His eyes were closed, but he was clearly very awake. He rested his chin on the top of her head, arms around her in a loose embrace. “The gods?”

Annabeth laughed. It sounded a little helpless. “Who else?”

“Alaska’s cold. And far.”

“We’d manage.”

Percy hummed in acknowledgment.

“We’d be leaving behind the gods,” Annabeth said.

“We’d be leaving behind a lot of people.”

“We could take them with us,” Annabeth said. “We could take them all with us. We’d grab Grover, and your Mom, and Paul and your baby sister and just go. We’d leave in the dead of night, but we’d write letters to everyone else, explaining. I know what I’d say to each person already.” Thank you, she’d scribble. I love you. I’m sorry.

I hope you understand. They’d understand. They’d wish they’d got the plan before, for themselves, but they’d say, in resigned commiseration, Well, that’s Annabeth. She’s always got a plan.

“Plane?”

“No. Car. We’d hammer out those Pegasus hoof prints from the Prius and drive. Take the long way.”

“And we’d go to school there?”

“If you want,” Annabeth said. “Or we could just—we could not. We could just live there. Live out the rest of the days. Send postcards to Thalia. It would be boring. Really boring. But we could go.”

“Sounds like you’ve thought about this a lot,” Percy mumbled into her hair.

She had. She had and she hadn’t. Her brain hadn’t put two and two together until tonight, but the pieces were always there, ripe for taking. Percy had told her about New Rome when he had told her about his quest to save Thanatos, breathless and disbelieving and triumphant, a life for us! Undeniable proof of a life for people like them, a whole life and death in peace. In happiness. With cafes and libraries and a University and a house and friends and old age. But Annabeth had paid attention to the wrong parts of the story, had caught herself on Alaska and land beyond the gods and escape.

In the Cocytus, miserable, she had thought about New Rome. At the Acheron, inconsolable, she had thought of New York. But with every unbearable sip of the Phlegethon she had thought to herself: stop. Stop. Stop.

Alaska was where it would stop.

Would Andromeda have run?

“New York’s a—“ Charnel house. My safe haven. A graveyard. The only land I’ve ever loved. Home and hollow, somehow both at once. “New York’s just a place. We’d be able to be happy anywhere.”

Percy loved New York. With every fibre of his being, he loved it, she knew that. Of course she knew. She loved it just as much. But they had lost so much already, walked across minefields of loss anyway; losses far greater—the absence of innocence, the absence of family, the absence of the weight of the world on your shoulders, the phantom of a beloved knife gripped in your empty hand, the places in your heart where friends who you should have grown up with lingered, because they could no longer linger in the living world. So much they had lost already. Leaving behind a place was nothing in the face of that.

“Do you want to go?” Percy asked.

“Would you come, if I did?”

He’d followed her into hell. Alaska was nothing.

One more loss: a hand in hand, knuckles white with effort. The loss of land against foot, a weak ankle dragging you into hell. The loss of your grip on a ledge, a hand clawing at empty air.

“Yes,” Percy said simply. “I’d come.”

They didn’t need a car. She would run there, if she had to. Dead of night. Hand in hand.

“What do you think you’d be,” Annabeth asked, “if you weren’t a demigod?”

“Oh, that’s easy,” Percy said, smiling dopily. “Untraumatized.”

They laughed. It wasn’t a funny joke, but there was a bitter edge to it that dug out a laugh from her.

“What would you want to be, if you weren’t a demigod?” Percy asked.

“I don’t know. An architect itself, maybe?” She didn’t know where her interests started becoming an Athena kid’s interest. She didn’t know how much of it was just her and her life experiences, and how much of it was her mother’s influence. “Or...oh god, I don’t know. Sky diver? Who knows.”

“I can actually see that,” Percy said. “See you, I mean. Skydiving.”

“Really?”

“Sure. You’ve fallen off enough cliffs.”

Annabeth let her head thud gently against his chest, laughing. “Oh, screw you.”

Percy grinned. “Hey, it’s true.”

“And you’d follow me then? As a skydiver?”

“Oh, you betcha. Zeus wouldn’t even be trying to kill me, so there’s like, zero danger.”

“Except diving to your death.”

“Right. Except that.”

Annabeth could feel her chest loosening, Tartarus’s stench lifting. She smiled. “Do you think we’d have met each other?”

“If we weren’t demigods?”

“Mm.”

Percy frowned as he stared up at the sky; he was staring up at Andromeda too. “Well, I hope we would have.”

“Yeah, no duh.”

“I’d never have learnt about constellations otherwise,” Percy said. “Or appreciate how many times a person can get into an argument about gothic revival architecture.”

“It happened twice.”

“Well, it happened in the first place is the point. And I’m not complaining.”

“I’d never have been able to appreciate blue food,” Annabeth said. “No one to debate about orcs with.”

“Uh, no debating either way? It’s usually me just telling you facts, you arguing about them, and then me finding an orc to settle the score. So.”

“Fuck off,” Annabeth said, grinning, “you’ve been wrong about sea creatures before, too, and you’re literally related to most of them.”

“Well, you’re wrong about gothic revival architecture apparently, since you keep fighting about it with people.”

Annabeth shook her head, smiling. Percy laughed and laid his head back down, closing his eyes. They were like that for a while, content in a smiling silence.

“I don’t want to actually go to Alaska,” Annabeth said finally. “I just want to—I want to go to a land beyond the gods.”

Percy’s hand stroked her hair. It was cold, soft. “You had a bad dream.” It was not a question.

She sighed and closed her eyes, bundled against his chest. “It’s a good plan though. Alaska.” It was not an answer.

“Was it Tartarus?” This was not a question either.

She didn’t answer.

“You know,” Percy said. “I didn’t—I never wanted this. To be a demigod. I would come with you Annabeth, if you asked.”

“It was Tartarus,” Annabeth said. “It was a bad dream.”

Percy kissed her forehead. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t need to. Annabeth could feel tears trail down her cheeks, a burn like the Phlegethon.

“I wish we could go away,” Annabeth said. “I wish—I wish we could escape the gods.” She could not escape her mind. This was the next best thing.

“Tartarus,” Annabeth said. “Tartarus was beyond the gods too. I want to believe that beyond the gods can be good, too.”

Percy was quiet next to her. “We could do it too,” Percy said. “Together.”

It was tempting. There was no guarantee it would work, and there was no guarantee it would end with both of them happy, but it was tempting.

“I’m going to buy a postcard,” Annabeth said. “Of Alaska. Just to remind me that there’s a place. Beyond them.”

“Print one off the net.”

“Hm. That’d be better. Cheaper.”

“Yeah.”

“It was a good plan, though,” Annabeth said, sighing. “Shame it’s never going to happen.”

“You’ll make a new one. A better plan.” Percy smiles at her, eyes crinkling in the corners. “Hey, you’re Annabeth Chase. You’ve always got a plan.”

It was a safety net, freely offered. So many losses, so many absences, in a short life, but Annabeth felt, at once, a thousand different presences: a life saving hold at the bottom of the Siren Sea, a hug in an empty cabin, a kiss in the swirling volcano of their youth, a squeeze of pain and prophecy, the sweet kiss of blue frosting, the pressure of a hand in hers, knuckles white with effort. A warm body tucked into her on a lazy night, the air sweet as strawberries.

“Okay, for now, Plan B,” Annabeth said. “I’ve got it. It’s temporary, but it’ll do.”

“So soon?” Percy looked curious. “What is it?”

Annabeth cupped his face and closed the distance between them. Grass tickled her cheek. “Kiss me.”

[dopescotlandwarrior]

Bluegrass-Chapter One

                       A special thanks to @statell​ for your help and wisdom

Chapter One

Claire bounced out of bed feeling amazing and full of energy. From her hilltop home, she could look out over the most beautiful expanse of bluegrass fields below that were covered in misty fog at this early hour. It was an inspiring view of the best Kentucky had to offer. Setting down a steamy mug of strong coffee she went through her morning yoga poses breathing in the crispy air gratefully. She pressed her hands together in front of her heart, bowed slightly, and said “Namaste” to the beautiful day.

“God I love days like this.”

She pulled her scrubs on, and a hat atop her fresh-scrubbed face, and bounced out the front door looking for her ride. Typical, she thought, he is late again. She looked at the hands of her watch, 7:38, that guy will never amount to much being late all the time. She didn’t like the energy shift and carefully pressed her body into a particularly hard yoga pose as she closed her eyes and welcomed her calm center. The pose balanced all her body weight on the ball of one foot, the other leg pulled into the air behind her. She took a deep breath in and exhaled slowly. On her second intake of air the ear-splitting horn of her supercharged Ram, a hospital on wheels blared from the road. The shock was enough to topple her pose, twisting just in time to let her ample butt hit the ground first.

Dusty cursed watching her fall, feeling like a total idiot. His excitement was on overload this morning, so happy to finally be early and prove to Claire he could make his commitments. She said 8:00 and it was now 7:45, a true miracle for him, except Claire was now laying on the patio concrete after he scared her half to death. “Goddamnit, when am I gonna think before I do stuff?”

He ran to help his employer off her ass and noticed her scrubs. They were treating the yearlings today at Highland Brothers Farms and they would be there all day. It was a big deal for Claire, and he thought she should have dressed more…something. Dusty pulled his hat off and watched her feet rise into the air as she used her temporary time of the ground to pull a perfect headstand.

“Ah, Doctor Beauchamp, are ye ready to go? I’m sorry I honked at ye and made ye fall. Now ye got dirt on yer pants.” He didn’t dare look at her on the ground, so he spoke to her cowboy boots.

“You are late Dusty.”

He was about to launch into an argument, but her boots swung to the ground and she popped up with a red face and smiled at him.

“Let’s go.”

Claire jumped into the passenger seat of her amazing vehicle. It was her biggest investment after graduation. With a price tag of almost two hundred thousand, the vehicle did everything a mobile vet would need. Claire had structured their working relationship where Dusty would keep her truck at the end of the day. She only had to jump out, wave as she walked up the steps to her cabin in the woods. It wasn’t easy for Dusty to drive away knowing she had no other vehicle, but this is how she wanted it.

As Dusty fell under Claire’s spell he googled the vehicle and almost passed out at the price. With a fully stocked hospital in the converted bed, he estimated two-hundred-fifty thousand dollars. He gripped his computer desk and tried to breathe. The next weekend he recruited his buddies to come and build a garage to park it in. He installed the best security he could buy and finally felt worthy of her trust the first night the electric garage door closed the vehicle in for the night.

The workday did not end when Claire waved him goodbye. Dusty would wash off the caked-on mud and vegetation that collected in the grill and wheel wells from driving into the farms. Once a month he would wax and buff until he was dripping with sweat. Sometimes she would notice, sometimes she wouldn’t. Either way, it was his honor to do it.

Dusty would grimace and complain to his friends about her demanding nature and lack of appreciation, it’s what young men in Kentucky did when they worked for a female, especially a woman doctor. But it was a kaleidoscope of emotions he felt every day, running interference between her and the world. He was in awe of the young veterinarian and her extraordinary diagnostic abilities.

Claire had her nose in a medical book when Dusty jumped into the driver’s seat. He was at war with himself to mention her scrubs and finally asked if she wanted to change before they left. Her head jerked up at him as her heavy black glasses slid down her nose,

“change into what Dusty?”

“Ah, never mind, not important. Let’s go.” He exhaled a miserable breath wanting to kick his own ass for being such a pussy. He had spent half his paycheck on starched new clothes for today to show respect to the great Jamie Fraser, owner, and breeder at Highland Brothers. Claire’s reputation for being a super healer was burning across Kentucky and doors were opening for her in the most prestigious farms, Highland Brothers being number one on the list.

Claire pulled a stack of files onto her lap to update her treatment notes while Dusty drove. She asked him questions on every file she opened.

“What did we do to the Miller gelding?”

“Drained the abscess, front left chest, forty cc’s of penicillin.”

“What about the Hildebrandt mare that foundered.”

“Restrained in her stall, estimated three months, the family wants to save her.”

“Oh! Thank God.”

This continued through the forty-minute drive to Highland Brothers. Dusty had a stunning mind that remembered every detail of each day. Every animal, every owner, breeder, barn ranking, problem mares, sick and injured horses. Drugs, dosages, and who still owed her money. She looked at his handsome face and sighed, making him look at her and blush. He always blushed when their eyes met, and he quickly looked away.

Claire knew he would make huge contributions to equine medicine. He was already an expert on grain nutrition, and he hadn’t started vet school yet. It was the reason she pushed him so hard.

“I really don’t know what I will do without you, Dustin. Have you chosen a school yet now that you have so many to choose from?” She put her hand up to stop him from talking. “I don’t want to discuss it actually, it makes me…. not happy. Hoooooly bloody shit! Look at how the superstars live!”

Claire’s mouth hung open as her eyes took in every detail of the fancy compound. She swept her eyes across the acres of green, as far as she could see. As they got closer, she saw horses on the track with jockeys and trainers, along with mares and foals in the pastures. She looked ahead at a large Bay gelding being led to an outside arena.

“Doctor B, what do ye think of Jamie Fraser?”

“Who?”

“The owner of Highland Brothers.”

“Never met him.”

Dusty rolled his eyes and realized his boss was not impressed with celebrity in the horse world. If he wasn’t hailed in her medical world or mentioned in her books, he was insignificant.

Claire’s practiced eye scanned the horses she could see as they were being led, running the track, or grazing in the beautiful meadows around the complex. She wasn’t happy with what she saw and felt from them.

She approached the Bay gelding and ran her hand down his back while the handler looked annoyed.

“I am Doctor Beauchamp and this horse is sick. Back up please so he can breathe. The man knew who she was and gave her space. Claire placed her open palms on both sides of the horse's face and stood perfectly still for five minutes as the horse dropped his head into her hands. She jumped back into the truck and looked wide-eyed at Dusty.

“He is sick Dusty, he said they all are, even the babies.”

“Ah, Doctor B, here’s the thing, ye need to keep that part to yourself if ye can. We talked about how it creeps-out the breeders and how they don’t believe in yer gift. Remember?”

“I remember something about that, but I don’t have time to pick my words around these people.” Her face had gone white and her eyes wide and worried. “They are all sick. Someone has done this to them,” she whispered.

Claire walked through the large housing facility that kept some of the most expensive horses in the world. She stopped in front of a beautiful gray mare, stunning actually. She approached feeling the horse’s exceptional health and vitality. Claire was doubtful this horse could be immune to whatever this was. She touched the beast and listened. The mare wanted to leave this place, not afraid of getting sick, but to get away from her rider. Claire felt an evil cold settle into her bones.

“I’m here now. I won’t let them hurt you.”

She went stall to stall gaining more of the story feeling alarm bells go off in her head. She looked for Dusty, he had an important role to play in this rescue. What Claire saw next almost made her heart stop and she took off running as fast as she could. The housing complex was huge and a man with the grain cart was shoveling something into the feeders at the other end. She pushed herself feeling her thighs on fire from the effort.

“Stop! Please stop!”

The man looked up at the woman running full speed for him and just stopped like he was frozen. When Claire caught up to him, she was panting but very thankful he listened to her. She could hear Dusty run up behind her and turned to lock eyes with him. Her voice was quiet, but he heard the stress and felt the immediacy.

“They are eating it, whatever it is that’s making them sick! Look at that horse Dusty!”

She pointed to a large thoroughbred that had backed himself into the corner of his stall, as far from the offending food as he could get. Dusty asked the worker to show him where the feed is kept. Claire continued walking the line of stalls.

She found the breeding wing and it almost crippled her when she touched the mares, fat with foals. She touched them and made promises to help, overwhelmed by how many had given up, ready to accept death because they were so sick.

She was running again trying to find Dustin or the owner that let this happen. She felt the enormity of loss that was coming as all these horses would lay down today for the last time. She started yelling for Dusty at the top of her lungs until he was running toward her. His face told her he found something, whatever it was. Dear God, she thought, who could do such a thing.

“I think I found it, Claire, there’s a shiny coating on the rolled oats. I told that man to lock down the feed room, stand guard, and not let anyone in. Fraser is in a meeting you need to pull him out."

“Triage Dustin, back the truck into the complex, park halfway down this aisle, don’t let the motor run for a second longer than you have to. Hurry!” Minutes later her enormous dually was backing down the aisle, just as Jamie Fraser was running for it yelling at Dusty to get that vehicle out of his barn.

Claire watched him run up on Dusty who stood his ground and pointed at her. Fraser was yelling but she couldn’t be bothered with that, she felt a distinctive change in the energy around her and looked to her side in time to see a horse collapse.

When the first horse went down right in front of her, she shrieked for Dustin to bring fluids and rushed into the stall.

“No, no, no, no! Don’t go” she shouted grabbing her stethoscope pressing it into a quiet chest. She heard another horse fall nearby and another. She bent over, sobbing, and held her stomach. They would all die if she didn’t galvanize against the horror. She was running for the truck as Fraser turned wicked eyes on her. He was roaring at her and she hit him at a full run telling him to get out of the way!

She called out a cocktail of drugs to load into 20 CC syringes and a large gauge needle to shoot the life-saving mixture into the jugular. They were both filling syringes as fast as possible.

“I assume you are James Fraser. Your horses have been poisoned, they will all die in the next few hours, many already have. If you want to help, call every veterinarian you know to help us. On the double Mister Fraser!”

Jamie put fingers to his mouth and blew a loud strange whistle. Two men ran toward him, white-faced, and stopped, waiting for orders. Three cell phones came out and the men called for reinforcement. Dusty ran behind Claire with a sack full of filled syringes. She administered the drug cocktail very fast and listened to the heartbeat stabilize before running to the next. Other men were driving their rigs into the complex and running for the drug protocol. Dusty gave the drugs and dosage and the veterinarians stared back at him frozen in place.

Jamie Fraser was on the verge of collapse, but he ran behind one of the doctors holding the precious syringes. Claire was on her knees doing an emergency cesarean section of a dead mare. Her hands were a blur and Dusty stood above her ready to split the tissue and pull the distressed foal out. Another vet stood watching Claire, eyes wide at her ability to move that fast. He grabbed a blanket to cover the foal and rubbed until he saw movement.

Jamie Fraser looked at the body of his favorite broodmare, ripped open savagely to save a baby that was worth a fortune. Claire ran by him coming back in five minutes with a large bottle of warm milk and enormous nipple. She pressed it into Jamie’s hands and looked into his anguished eyes.

“Please, save the ones we can.”

She pushed him gently toward the baby who was clearly needing some comfort. Jamie wrapped his warmth around the baby and offered the bottle, encouraging the colt to drink.

Claire watched with gushing eyes. She knew they had to assess the loss, pronounce prize horses dead, and prepare for the next round of drug therapy. Fraser was so big and strong. He seemed so capable and willing. She felt her body inch toward him and then kneel next to him. She corrected the angle of the bottle and then leaned against him and sobbed.

Jamie was overwhelmed with this little veterinarian who took command like a general and was spot on with the drugs that would save his horses. When she collapsed into him, he quickly wrapped an arm around her and supported her while she fell apart. He held the bottle for the colt in the other hand. Dusty walked over to her and bent to help her up but Jamie shook his head.

“It’s alright laddie. I’d say she’s earned it.”

Just like that, Claire stopped crying and stood up. A nod to Fraser and she was onto her next task.

The next half hour culled the sickest from the rest. Those that were on death’s door were struggling. Claire put her hands on one gelding’s face and heard or felt how sick he still was. She was very sympathetic at how awful he felt and let him know she insisted he live.

“Dusty! Positive-feedback hypovolemic protocol with 5 cc of digitalis, mix with a quarter dose for hypertension, on the double if you please. Claire grabbed a loaded syringe and ran for the sick gelding. He had given up and was taking his last few breaths as she pushed the cocktail into the huge vein in his neck. He seemed paralyzed, his big head suspended and shaking very low to the ground. She watched him as the other veterinarians questioned her protocol suspiciously. She moved to the gelding’s side and he pushed against her needing her reassurance. Dusty sat on the corral bars watching and waiting, hardly breathing.

The horse gave a healthy snort and lifted his head to a normal position. His tail whacked at flies and he shook his head like he was throwing off the illness.

“Dusty, you know the cocktail.”

Dusty dropped off the bars and jogged to the truck with the other vets watching the mixture he pulled into multiple syringes. Three of the vets left saying the protocol was too much risk. Those that stayed bravely followed Claire’s orders and pulled numerous horses from death’s door.

Claire wrote the milk recipe on a notepad and went to find James Fraser. It took all her strength to hold tears back when she saw his grave face. He moved toward her and the little colt followed so close he plowed into his butt when Jamie stopped in front of her. Even this newborn had the strength to knock Fraser right into Claire’s arms as she laughed nervously feeling a jolt of lightening shoot to her feet.

“Sorry. Ye have a theory lass?”

“I’m sorry to say I do Mister Fraser but it’s not a theory. Someone who has access to the horses and their food tried to kill them, all of them, near as I can tell. Dusty, my assistant, is taking blood and fecal samples and we must carefully get samples of every bag of feed, guarding against cross-contamination. Fortunately, we were able to lock the feed room within minutes of arriving.”

“There are feed rooms throughout the building!” Jamie whistled again and the two men came running. Hearing the order to lock down the other four grain rooms they took off in opposite directions. Claire watched them and prepared to tell Fraser what would be needed for the samples when she went rigid and pale. Fraser could see her hands shaking at her sides.

“What is it!”

“Do…do you have a water main that can shut off the water to the horses?”

Fraser heard the tension in her voice and started running. Claire was very aware of the thirst from her drug protocol and wondered how much they had consumed already.

“Sweet Jesus.” Claire ran along the stalls spilling the water as she went. This high-tech facility used floaters in the water buckets to make the water turn on automatically. She pushed the buckets sideways to spill the water only to hear the faucet above them run a fast stream to refill it. “Come on Fraser, turn it off.” Finally, she could spill the water and the faucets did not turn on. She ran along the stalls spilling the water and reached for her phone.

“Dustin! Hold off more samples we need to get the water out of the stalls. The water main is off, hurry!”

Jamie and his two managers came back and joined the effort to empty the water buckets. When Fraser came back to Claire his face was a mixture of fear, sorrow, and white-hot rage.

“Take a breath, Mister Fraser, there will be time for punishment unless we blow it and start making mistakes. I need to think for a few minutes and form a plan” She walked away mumbling and touching her fingers like she was making a list. She intended to lock herself in her truck for some quiet time but there wasn’t time for such a luxury. She ran back to Jamie panting from the effort.

“Those two men you work with can they be trusted?”

“Aye, with my life.”

“Please call them, or whistle, and tell them to listen to me, please hurry.”

Claire watched the large roll away doors to the outside clearly terrified about something. Fraser whistled again and his two best friends since childhood were racing toward him. “Listen to the doctor boys, do as she says.”

Claire pulled the group into a tight circle so she could speak quietly. She explained her fear of the next strike against Jamie.

Someone who was trusted to have access to the horses and feed tried to poison them. Dusty believes it’s a glycol-based poison so it’s cumulative, over time. Somehow they got all the horses to peak at the same time. I would not think it possible, but it happened so this person is knowledgeable, smart, and determined to bring this place and Fraser down in a glorious murder fest by ruthlessly killing the world’s best horseflesh in the process. I don’t know how long it took to pull this off, but I know the person responsible is close by and may know we thwarted the grand plan with minimal loss. This fucked up bastard will be coming for you Fraser, tonight, now!” Pretend you’re him and you can barely contain your rage, what would you do? Right now, what would you do!”

The three men flinched when she yelled the question. “Call the boarders and the trainers. Anyone with notoriety and a horse stabled here. Tell those people they’re all dead and its Jamie’s fault.” Claire waited while the men wrapped their heads around the enormity of the hatred behind this attack. Jamie’s voice was heard above the others,

“He’ll call the press and start a media frenzy that will go around the world. It will be so easy. People will stampede this place and destroy evidence, prevent the samples, maybe put me in jail until every animal is gone and the evidence is ruined. Jesus Sassenach please help me, tell me ye got a plan.”

Claire looked up, surprised all three of them were looking at her to answer. “Dusty has water and bowl swipe samples and every grain that was opened. If we can clear the water as the source and get the buckets full it’s a win for us. She looked at Dustin sitting on corral bars nearby and told him to go. Dustin drove slowly until he was out of the barn where he left tread on stones racing away.

“We need to pull in the authorities. If there’s anyone you know and trust, call them. Mister Fraser, can you estimate the financial loss attempted today?”

Jamie scanned the stalls as he calculated a rough estimate. “Fifteen to twenty million.”

“Well, that pushes into the territory of the FBI and I’m in favor of bypassing local police, at least until we can process the crime scene. For that, we need a forensic team. Let’s hope a twenty- million- dollar loss will get us one. Last, and most important, we need to remove the dead horses and hide them. I am so sorry gentlemen but six horses dead in their stalls will seal your fate. Game over, you lose.”

“I know what to do.” Jamie pulled Angus and Rupert to walk with him while Claire called her friend at the university where a pacing Dusty waited.

The horses were getting desperate for water and Claire felt their tremendous thirst and heard the hooves banging against the bars. What could they do if the water was the source? Turn them all out and let them fight for the little that collected after a rain? It would be brutal and bloody.

Claire felt like she would split down the middle from the accumulating tension. She walked the line of stalls watching for distress in the horses. She stopped and looked up and down the aisle, noticing for the first time how many stalls were empty. She saw name tags on each of them but no horse. She estimated half of the animals were gone.

The walking calmed her down a little but she couldn’t wait any longer to call the lab. She prayed they were done with the water.

“Hello Michael, you are my hero today. Do you have any results on the water yet?” She held her cell phone so tightly she feared it would crack and still could not relax her hand.

“I love hearing your accent, Claire. I’m so sorry about what happened today.”

“The water Michael?”

“Yea, I have the results of the water. The phone in the lab actually has a cord, can you believe it?”

“Michael?”

“Yea, hold on I’ll grab the report.”

[thekadster]

december (newsies canon-divergence angst)

Fandom: Newsies (All Media Types)

Word Count: 1,953

Trigger Warnings: None!

Author’s Notes: Special thanks to @newsies-hit-da-streets for beta reading this!

❝ It was an early December morning, but Crutchie's mind was still stuck in that fateful summer day. The day before the strike, the rally, and before everything changed. ❞

also read it on ao3!

Tonight, it was cold.

No, it was freezing.

It was an early December morning, but Crutchie's mind was still stuck in that fateful summer day. The day before the strike, the rally, and before everything changed.

He leaned forward on the railing of the fire escape. He didn’t pay any mind to the goosebumps all over his arms or the chattering of his teeth. He silently stared into the distant city, which gained a serene, heavenly glow in the winter haze. He had seen this view thousands of times before and all its same towering buildings when he still lived up here.

“Crutch!” a voice called from below, followed by the sound of rapid footsteps.

Crutchie snapped back to reality. He managed to tug his lips into a faint smile. “Oh, hiya, Specs.”

“What the hell are ya doin’ up here?” Specs climbed the last few steps. “It’s freezin’!”

For a moment, Crutchie didn’t respond. What was he doing up here, especially in this kind of weather? The morning bell probably wouldn’t ring for another hour or so. Why was he even awake this early?

“I dunno,” he mumbled.

Specs looked at him. “Whaddya mean you don’t know?”

Crutchie exhaled, his breath a cloud of mist. He shivered and shrugged. “Well, I-I thought the view’d be nice tonight, so-”

Specs put a hand on the boy’s shoulder. “Why dontcha tell me inside?”

His hand gently moved down to his wrist, but Crutchie quickly recoiled. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Specs, whose eyes widened in surprise.

“I can’t,” he blurted out, shoving his hands into his coat.

Specs could only stare, beginning to grow worried. He had never seen his friend this desperate.

“Look, I-” Crutchie scrambled for words. “I appreciate ya bein’ up here an’ all, but…”

“Was it somethin’ I said?”

“No, no, you’s is fine! I just- I can’t go down.”

“Why not?”

They were quiet for a moment as the howling wind whipped past. Crutchie hesitated; he thought his reason for being up here was rather stupid.

“Crutch.”

He turned to look at Specs' outstretched hand. “I don’t wantcha turnin’ into ice up here.”

Specs didn’t care what reason he had, or how stupid it was. He wasn’t going to let his friend freeze to death.

He led Crutchie down the metal rails, slowing down his pace and being careful not to slip in the dark. They both climbed in through a window and sat on a bed. Around them, the room was filled with countless kids on bunk beds trying to sleep through the cold.

“Ya wanna talk about it?” softly began Specs, wiping his glasses. “I mean, it’s okay if ya don’t or you wanna save it for the mornin’ or-”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Crutchie shook his head. He shrugged the remaining snow off of his coat and leaned against the frame of the bunk bed. “I was just...lookin’ out into the city.”

The other boy looked up at him, noticing his long silence. “And?”

Crutchie’s brows furrowed, before he gave up and sighed. “I can’t stop thinkin’ about July,” he mumbled.

Specs was quiet. He knew the July that he was talking about; the July.

The summer of 1899 was the summer that changed the newsies forever. After Pulitzer and Hearst raised the price of newspapers, they all decided to go on strike. It was dangerous, something that none of them had ever done before. But through their efforts, they won the battle, and shed light on the importance of the rights of New York’s working kids. It was amazing that they, as an army kids without so much as a nickel to their name, changed the course of history. But that wasn’t the reason why it was still on Crutchie’s mind.

“‘S about Jack, huh?” he asked, finding his voice. Crutchie weakly nodded.

Every newsie in New York knew about Jack Kelly, Manhattan’s charismatic leader. He was a good fighter, a great newsie, and protected his own more than anything. Lots of kids, the two of them included, would look to him for help and guidance. He was also the face of the strike, making a statement that they weren’t gonna be pushed around anymore. For the longest time, he was known as this brave, selfless seventeen-year-old that the newsies could rely on.

Well, until he wasn’t.

Crutchie wasn’t there when it happened, but all of his friends told the same story. Jack showed up to a rally and made a speech about disbanding the union after speaking to Pulitzer. Of course, this didn’t sit well with the newsies, and especially Spot Conlon. Confused and frustrated shouts filled the air, but it wasn’t nearly as bad when everyone saw him take money from a man in a fancy suit.

After that, no one could convince him to stay, not even Katherine. She was the last person to give up on him - and bless her heart - but he was already bound for Santa Fe.

“He scabbed,” were the words that replayed and replayed in Crutchie’s mind. 

He scabbed.

“I just wanna know why he did it,” he whispered, rubbing his eyes.

Specs’ heart dropped, seeing the pain in his eyes. “I know ya do.”

Crutchie’s gaze was distant, vacant. “I don’t get it. He...he said he’d take me with him.”

“Yeah,” said Specs. “Always talked about it, too.”

“We used’ta talk about it all the time, up on the fire escape,” added Crutchie. The beginnings of a smile tugged at his lips. “He’d blabber about Santa Fe every night; said it was clean an’ green an’ pretty. They’s got palominos there, too. And, he even said that the air could fix my leg, give or take a few months.”

Specs softly chuckled, remembering the dime-novel cowboy that Jack so badly wanted to be. “Cowboy really wanted to head out west, huh?”

Crutchie exhaled, almost bitterly laughing. “Guess he finally got his dream.”

Specs shifted slightly in his place. His eyes caught the soft glow of the city through one of the frost-covered windows. He gulped, the correct words forming together in his mind. “Do ya hate ‘im?”

“Huh?”

“Do ya hate ‘im? For leavin’?”

Truth be told, Crutchie was just one of the many kids who wanted to scream in Jack’s face. He wanted to know why he did what he did, if it was all worth it, if it was worth knowing that they had to win the fight without him. He wanted him to know how hurt they all were, and how things had never been the same after he up and left. He wanted to pour out every single stab and sting that he’d been carrying inside his chest for the past year.

He absentmindedly picked at the sleeve of his coat. After learning the truth about Jack, he felt so many things at once; confusion, rage, denial, misery, betrayal. The boy that he had known for so many years was suddenly gone, and never even bothered to write back. The kid who abandoned the strike wasn’t the same kid who dreamed with him every night, the kid who said that they were a family. 

“No,” whispered Crutchie.

Specs looked at him. “Ya don’t?”

He repeated that one, small word. Specs raised an eyebrow. “Why not?”

“I- I dunno,” Crutchie said, running a hand through his hair. “I mean, I can’t really blame ‘im for leavin’ when he got the chance.”

“But he ditched us! Ain’tcha mad?”

“‘Course I’m mad! I’m furious!” he explained, his voice a bit louder than he intended it to be. “It’s just...I can’t hate ‘im. Part a’ me still wants to believe he’s a good kid. As much as I wanna, I just- can’t.”

His vision began to blur and his voice grew softer. “Everythin’ we been through, I wanna think it was worth somethin’. When he said that we’s family, I think he meant it.”

Specs paused and stared at him. Crutchie was undoubtedly one of the happiest kids in the Lodging House, probably even in all New York. Even with his gimp leg, his positivity remained relentlessly infectious. The glimmer in his eyes could light up the whole city. His sunshine smile would beam whenever he would laugh or charm strangers to buy a pape. And when he was with Jack, it couldn’t be brighter - whether they were excitedly chattering, giggling, or simply enjoying each other’s presence.

Specs moved closer. “He did,” the boy spoke. “And it was worth somethin’. Jack meant a lot to all of us, ‘specially you. And it’s hard, ‘cause it’s like he ain’t the guy we knew he was no more. But I guess, the Jack that we knew was real, even now.”

They were quiet for a while, listening to the snow beat against the window. Crutchie let himself lean on Specs’ side and he pulled his coat closer to his body. Specs wrapped an arm around him, and he stayed very still when he felt damp patches on his shirt. He realized he was very quietly crying.

Crutchie pulled away, removing his friend’s arm. “Sorry.”

“No, Crutch, it’s okay,” Specs quickly interjected. “Cryin’s okay sometimes.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” He gave him a soft smile. “My Ma used ta tell me; when you’s feelin’ bad, sometimes you gotta cry to let out the things makin’ ya feel that way.”

“So, I gotta cry all the time?”

“Nah, cryin’ ain’t so good when ya do it everyday,” Specs laughed. “It’s better for when you’re feelin’ really bad.” 

Crutchie paused. “Like now?”

“Yeah.”

At those words, a few more silent tears slipped from his eyes. Specs pulled him into an embrace. In reality, they knew that they should’ve been asleep by now. In a few hours, they would be out on the streets once again, trying their best to make a living. As soon as the winter rolled around, their job only got harder. But at that moment, the freezing cold and the copper coins didn’t seem to matter. They didn’t care who would chance upon them or how strange the sight of them would seem; right now, they needed each other, and that mattered more than anything.

A bittersweet smile crept up on Crutchie’s face. “I hope he got the life he wanted,” he whispered.

“Me too,” mumbled Specs. It was true, he thought. The Manhattan newsies didn’t take kindly to scabs, but Jack wasn’t just another scab. He was a leader, a friend, a brother. He spent so much of his life giving that he rarely got the chance to take for himself, and then the day came that he finally did. Admittedly, it didn’t have the best timing, but even with the gigantic mess it left behind, the two of them understood.

When he was ready, Crutchie pulled away and dried his eyes with his sleeve. “Sorry I kept ya, it’s late.”

“It’s fine, really, I don’t mind,” replied Specs. “‘S a good thing I saw you was gone, or else you woulda froze.”

Crutchie chuckled. “Gotta admit, though; the view’s killer.”

“Yeah,” Specs grinned. “But try ta wait ‘til spring, will ya?”

The two softly laughed. They hoped they hadn’t woken anyone up with their conversation. Specs climbed up to the top bunk and Crutchie got under his blanket. As he leaned on his side, the noise in his head seemed to die down a little. Of course, he’d rather have it that Jack stayed behind for a little while longer, but he knew that nothing could bring him back now. Instead, he could only wonder how things were like out west, and hope that Santa Fe was everything Jack dreamed it would be.

[four-loose-screws]

FE Expo II - FE16 Stage Drama Translation

FE Game Script Translations - FE Novel Translations - Original FE Support Conversations

If you are interested in donating to support my work, please check out my Ko-fi here. Thank you!

———————————

Fire Emblem Expo II - Stage Drama

Fire Emblem: Three Houses

“A Lively Arts Festival Meeting”

Cast: Claude, Dorothea, Felix, Ignatz

BGM: ‘Everyday Life at Garreg Mach Monastery’

-

Claude: Umm, first, I’d like to thank you all for gathering here today.

Dorothea: We don’t need the introduction, so please skip to the point.

Felix: Could you hurry up and get this over with? And I don’t need these tea sweets.

Ignatz: Hold on, everyone! Let’s listen to what Claude has to say.

Claude: ...I, um, tried to start this groundbreaking meeting that overcomes the boundaries between our classes with so much care that it would inspire all of you, but now it seems like my efforts were lost on every single one of you...

Dorothea: I heard about our task from Eldie. There will be an opening event before the White Heron Cup, and us four will organize it.

Claude: ...Wait, you heard about it?

Felix: Sylvain harassed me and forced me into representing the Blue Lions. Said he was going back into town. Argh, why am I stuck doing something like this…

Ignatz: So Sylvain was the first choice? I agree that he certainly would have been better.

Claude: Those chosen were gathered because they are the most artistic of Garreg Mach’s students. What makes every event stand out is, of course, the arts. Dorothea is the Mystical Songstress, Ignatz’s hobby is painting, and… Sylvain seems like the type to appreciate the arts.

Felix: Then I’d be of no use. And you don’t need me here to watch, either. Let me know what my responsibility is after you’ve decided on it.

Felix tries to leave.

Claude: Hey, wait a second! Um, think about it, you’re, uh, really good at repairing weapons and stuff, right? That, in a way, requires something of a sense of aesthetics, doesn’t it?

Ignatz: Though you only seem to do it to improve how well they can cut…

Dorothea: Don’t say anything more than you have to!

Felix returns.

Felix: ...Hmph. ...Continue. And be quick about it.

Claude: Then allow me to start. In short, this is meant to get everyone excited for the White Heron Cup, but we can’t take it lightly just because it’s an opening act. It’s like the preparations before enjoying a party. Think of it as an important duty that will get everyone excited for the big event.

Felix: The White Heron Cup, huh…? Why that…?

Dorothea: Awww, Felix! It’s too bad you weren’t chosen to be a dancer, isn’t it?

Felix: Ch… Who would pick me to be a dancer? I was just thinking about how relieved I am that I wasn’t chosen.

Ignatz: Hey now, don’t change the subject. That’s not what we’re here to talk about.

Claude: First, shall we try sharing the ideas we each think might be good, one by one? Dorothea, you’re first.

Dorothea: Of course, I think an opera would be best. A burning, passionate love story is sure to mesmerize our audience.

Claude: That’s not a bad idea, but doesn’t it take away from the dancing a little bit? What do you think, Ignatz?

Ignatz: How about we host an art gallery of works from the students talented in art? That would invigorate everyone, and it wouldn’t be a festival without any divine ornaments!

Felix: If there’s a decorative sword… then that’s not a half bad idea.

Ignatz: You think it’s a good idea too, Felix!? Then let’s make something together!

Claude: What are you thinking of, Felix?

Felix: How about a duel to get everyone’s blood pumping? It’ll double as training.

Dorothea: I knew you’d say that!

Claude: Ha ha ha…

Ignatz: So how about you, Claude?

Claude: A duel would injure some students, and then they wouldn’t be able to enjoy the festival we all worked so hard to put together… I know, how about we have a long distance archery tournament?

Felix: You… just want to showcase your archery skills, don’t you?

Claude: Figured it out, huh? Then how about we gather up some food and drinks suitable for the occasion, and make some noise?

Dorothea: You just want to have a feast!

Claude: Figured that out too, huh? Hmm, we can’t seem to make a decision, huh?

Dorothea: Perhaps we should try thinking up what ideas everyone else would propose.

Claude: For example?

Dorothea: Hubie would suggest a tactics seminar. Ferdie would want a horseback riding exhibition. And if Ingrid were here, she’d surely… I know! She’d suggest to open a bunch of different food stalls, or something like that.

Ignatz: Lorenz would likely agree with my art gallery idea. And Hilda seems to like accessories, so I think she’d be on my side, too.

Felix: You’re supposed to be suggesting people who would have different ideas than you.

Ignatz: Y-You’re right. Raphael and Lysithea would agree with the food stall idea Dorothea mentioned. Lysithea really likes sweets.

Felix: Hmph… sweets, huh? ...I wouldn’t vote for that, but Ashe might get excited about it. And accessory related stuff sounds like Annette’s thing…

Ignatz: Felix, no matter what anyone else says, you really pay attention to your classmates!

Felix: Ch…

Dorothea: Petra knows a lot about Briggid’s unique culture, so maybe she would collect many rare items from her homeland, then host an exhibition of them.

Ignatz: And Leonie seems to collect used, worn-out things, so she might have something we could put in an exhibition, too. Each of us would gather up things we want to display, and maybe we’d even critique them.

Claude: Hmm, Marianne would suggest an exhibition as well, but she seems to like animals more.

Dorothea: Wow, we’ve come up with a lot of different ideas, huh?

Claude: We certainly have! But now we don’t have a way to choose which one to go with… hm? Hey, I’ve got an idea! We have the perfect person to ask for an opinion, don’t we!

Ignatz: Yeah, you’re right! We were so slow to realize it!

Dorothea: We really were! They’re almost always quiet, but we’ve always had someone right next to us who leads us to the best decision at times like these. Tee hee.

Claude: Ha ha, we certainly have. The person who usually fishes all day, eats too much at lunch, and is the most reliable out of everyone, was right here all along. Alright then, let’s try asking them. What do you think about that?

All Four: Professor!

All four look at the audience seating.

Claude: Hmm, you seem to be more quiet than usual today. Um, then, for the time being, let’s do this. Could you please clap for whichever of the ideas we came up with together that you like best?

Dorothea: Yes, let’s do that! I’ll start. The opera, combining song and theater, is best, isn’t it, Professor?

All four look at the audience seating.

Ignatz: I’m next! What do you think about the art gallery, Professor?

All four look at the audience seating.

Felix: My turn. Nothing is better than a duel. You think so too, right?

All four look at the audience seating.

Claude: And last is me! A feast!

All four look at the audience seating.

Dorothea: H-Hold on a minute! You wanted an archery tournament, didn’t you?

Claude: Oh yeah, that was it! An archery tournament, Professor!

All four look at the audience seating.

Claude: Hmmmm… There was a difference in how loud their clapping was for each option, but I feel that Professor is saying they really want to see them all.

Dorothea: This is bad! Even if we ask Professor, we still can’t decide! What are we to do?

All four look at the audience seating.

Claude: I wonder… Huh? What is it? You have a really good idea? ...Uh-huh. ...Uh-huh.

All four look at the audience seating.

Claude: What!? You’re suggesting we try them all!?

Dorothea: You mean the opera, and the duel, and the art gallery?

Ignatz: Together with the food stalls, and the rare items critique!?

Felix: Hey, how much work do you think we can do!?

Claude: But in the end, if everyone has their own thing they want to do, deciding to reject their feelings outright wouldn’t be right. Asking each person what they’d like to do, procuring the location and necessary items, then providing assistance from the background in order to not get behind and get everything ready in time for the White Heron Cup, might be all the work us main four have to do…

Ignatz: Yes, I think so too! We don’t have to quarrel over the best idea, and this way, everyone will likely be able to work hard in a positive environment.

Dorothea: It is a good idea, isn’t it! Let’s try it! If we tell everyone about this plan, surely they’ll cooperate with us.

Felix: If I can make it into a competition, then I won’t mind whatever it is I’ll have to do. If possible, I’d like to work with Dimi… I mean, the boar prince.

Claude: Ha ha! Then let’s try it out! Us four, as the representatives, will spread the word. Thanks, Professor!

[mbtiofwhys]

MBTI and quarantine

How INFJ mod and ENFP mod are dealing with self distancing

Disclaimer: quarantine for us began roughly around the end of February, and we’re writing this at the end of April, so it’s been two whole months by now.

How have we been doing up until now?

INFJ mod: the first month went well, and with “well” I mean “bad”. As an introvert, social distancing shouldn’t affect me too much, right? Well, this is true and I suppose it’s a benefit I’ve experimented in the last weeks. It somehow helps me easing emotional pain and stress and this is undoubtedly an introvert perk. At the same time I’m a J. I need a certain amount of structure and order to plan ahead and organize my nearest future. I had a couple of exams during the first month of quarantine and it was stressful to deal with them in an emergency situation with lots of unforseen problems. So, how have I been doing up until now? I must admit that an unexpected emergency like this affected my emotional well-being, but i’m trying to stay positive and learn to adapt and take advantage of quarantine!

ENFP mod: the first weeks had been absolute hell, let me tell you. I lost my routine, I lost my friends, I couldn’t even go out for a walk and every plan I’d made crumbled. Staying home felt like prison, and not having a set routine anymore affected my mental order and productivity because I was no longer able to correctly prioritize things. However, I think being N and being P helped me getting used to quarantine while at the same time being able to at least pursue my main interests and hobbies (I play games, I write, I read, and so on). I’m doing far better now, between discord calls with friends and group projects for uni, I keep in touch with people, while the increased free time allows my sparkling Ne-Fi to focus more on personal projects, like this blog.

Working/studying at home 

INFJ mod: As I stated before, I’m a student. My university reacted well to the emergency and found countermeasures to compromise between a lack of lectures and the regular exams. Now I’m attending online lessons and the situation is far less stressful than it was until a month ago. I don’t have to underestimate this lack of pressure, because in a context where every day feels the same it’s easy to slack off and to lose track of time. From a more concrete standpoint I must admit how comfortable and suitable online lessons are, since i don’t have to spend hours commuting and I can save time.

ENFP mod: I study in the advertising field, so my lessons are more like labs and peer reviews than proper lectures - also, there’s a lot of group work. Quarantine affected all this very badly to put things lightly, and although I appreciate the effort my university put in providing online classes and reviews, things aren’t absolutely the same as before, and this is lowering my motivation overall. I also used to work part time in events and malls during weekends, so obviously I lost that one, too - what a life.

Alone time vs imposed isolation 

INFJ mod: Quarantine should be like heaven for an introvert, right? Here is the fact: I can stay at home for a week or even more without social interaction, but it will always be my choice to recharge my social batteries or to enjoy alone time. This is an entirely different situation. Imposed isolation feels exactly like what it is: a necessary imposition that I didn’t choose. So, even if I need alone time as an introvert, I really miss my friends and the simple things we can do like laughing together, talking about our lives and passions, seeing them smile or telling a joke, sharing emotions. Because as an INFJ my auxiliary Fe just NEEDS to share emotions, thoughts, experiences, fears and dreams with trusted friends. As a Fe user, I’m still managing to find healthy ways to express my feelings, and although quarantine is an unusual situation and there are more constraints, I can still stay in touch with my friend and try to use Fe in a positive way.

ENFP mod: People call us ENFPs ‘the most introverted of the extroverts’ and I can see why but truth is, the E is there and you can’t change that. Not attending classes is hard, and I miss even the smallest things of being outside - like listening to music while commuting or walking in the street and generally… feel the outer world? And even if I, too, need alone time sometimes, it’s different when it’s forced. But I got used to it in the end, so it’s not that bad anymore. Lots of reading, writing and playing games - thank God P5R came out at the end of March. I’m managing by sharing opinions and experiences with my friends - we can’t discuss how Makoto Niijima is the absolute best waifu of the P5 female cast in person, but we can do that via chat with fanworks.

Social distancing: real interaction vs digital interaction

INFJ mod: there is a huge difference between real and digital interaction. If we talk about how internet allows us to communicate and work or study at home, digital interactions surely are helpful and I’m really thankful to live in an era where I can stay in contact with my friends and even see them. At the same time, as a Fe user I find real interaction irreplaceable and from a more irrational and emotional standpoint I can’t compare the two. That being said, I really value digital interaction as substitute of real ones. It’ll always be welcomed, be it to study or to stay in touch with friends. I also must admit how digital interactions are an interesting compromise between alone and social time, a win-win for an introverted Fe user like me.

ENFP mod: I tend to be very touchy when it comes to the people I love so yeah, digital interaction isn’t the same thing. At the same time, none of my closest friends live in my city, and we often need to organize things a month prior to fit everyone schedule, so I’m at least used to not seeing them everyday. I also truly miss my classmates, with whom I used to go out after lessons and have fun. This isn’t obviously possible with Skype calls - and don’t get me started on how project works are harder to deliver like this.

Routine

INFJ mod: Maybe you’ll find it odd to read this from a J, but routines can really stress me out and I need small variation to my daily activities to relieve the fatigue. During this self imposed isolation I’m finding harder than usual to escape from routines.Yes, as a J I need structure and order to an extent. Yes, as a J I need time to adapt to new unexpected situations. What you may not know is that I also need ways to break free from strict and repetitive tasks. In my case, routines need to be a compromise between being mentally reassured by the presence of a certain amount of order and predictability and my aversion for repetitive tasks. Order and structure are subordinated to my desire for freedom. Freedom to create in an environment where I have time and space to envision what I want and how to do it, with my pace.

ENFP mod: I really struggled and I’m still struggling with routine. I don’t like routine per se, but it’s an external factor that gives structure to my life and helps me make the most of my free time while not losing track of my duties. Uni classes played the bigger role in this, and now that they’re online, the temptation of slacking off is really difficult to ignore. I keep my calendar updated and I make sure to be present and focused when needed, but I discovered I’m not well fit for smart working. To me, home is the place where I relax, rest and maybe study, but it certainly isn’t the place where I work. This conflict is what is giving me a hard time focusing on school projects, because if I’m home, the default mode is having fun. Also, I don’t have a sleep schedule anymore. I try my best every night, every night I get rejected.

Dealing with the inferior function

INFJ mod: I’m still working on my inferior Se and quarantine isn’t helping. As the inferior function, it usually takes me a while to even realize how much I’m falling into a Se grip or simply how much I’m not aware of Se. Self isolation amplifies those aspects and makes even harder to become conscious of unhealthy Se manifestations. Quarantine hasn’t stopped me to find a positive outlook in this situation and to learn from mistakes. At first I began to take a more concrete approach in daily life with simple actions. I live in a small town and I have green areas near my house, so I’m lucky enough to be able to spend some time in the nature and to experience it through the five senses. I’m also trying to become more aware of Se by being more present. This week I’m taking action and breaking vicious cycles of overthinking and self-doubt. Self isolation doesn’t allow me to experience life fully, so I’m taking advantage of the situation and I’m focusing those energies in concrete and meaningful actions, like writing on this blog or working on personal project involving creative writing. 

ENFP mod: inferior Si isn’t giving me a particularly hard time, surprisingly. I’ve experienced Si grip and I know what that means to me, but luckily that isn’t an issue now. I sometimes do things that require a more focused and detail-oriented approach: styling wigs for cosplay, trying on new make-ups, baking or cooking, observing what happens out of the window to write it down. They’re not “Si activities” by definition, but they are all things that require concentration, calm, methodical approach and that cannot be rushed - on contrary, sometimes I need to start from scratches and observe my mistakes in order to improve. These are all small things that help my Si stay present and not freaking out overthinking the past, brooding in regrets or yelling at me because I’m not living a structured life at the moment.

The risk of loops and grips

INFJ mod: this is partly tied to what I wrote in the section above: this unexpected emergency and the resulting self isolation produced stress and negative emotions. As an INFJ, my first reaction is to jump in the future and visualize possible scenarios. In this difficult times, I need to take a step back from my negative “what ifs” and to stay positive by building a better future for myself and others day by day, through simple and concrete action. Otherwise I only risk to slip into Se grips or Ni-Ti loops. As I stated before I’m already working on Se: it’s not easy, but I’m at least trying. Another piece of the puzzle is my auxiliary Fe:proper auxiliary function development is essential to avoid loops. As an INFJ, self isolation prevents me from reaching out to my friends as much as I desire, at the same time we can stay in touch through digital interactions and they are surely helping me relieving stress and preventing loops. 

ENFP mod: while the Si part is ok, I still seem to have problems with NeTe loop. I had some rough ten days in mid-March because I was so focused on the million projects I had to finish and how that was stressing me out that I practically lived for nothing else. I managed to stop that before it got worse by speaking with my colleagues and asking to slow down the pace, so that I could have some free time to spend without feeling guilty or unproductive. But I still need to be cautious about the loop.

Trying to use all the four functions (and other healthy coping mechanisms)

INFJ mod: ok, it’s time to sum up what I wrote in the last three sections. From an mbti perspective, I’m trying to find a balance between self reflection (Ni) and concrete actions (Se). Staying in the present, taking full responsibility for my actions,  approaching life through simple and steady actions are all steps I follow every day to shift my locus of control to a more internal position. There are obviously setbacks and some days are far worse than others, but I’m trying to stay positive and find hope. Fe helps me to reach other people which is invaluable but sadly, as an introvert, doesn’t come naturally to me. It’s an healthy way to alleviate or completely avoid loops and to keep my heart warm. Ti, when not involved in a loop, allows me to give structure to what I find meaningful and to organize my thoughts. Ti is basically the backbone of what I envision through Ni. 

ENFP mod: although the first times were rough, I feel I managed to find a balance along the way - with some setback from time to time. My Ne is constantly active in brainstormings for uni and discussing fictional works with friends. I must check on what my Fi needs because I tend to endure stress way more than I should do, so every now and then I must ask myself if I’m fine, if I need to stop or if I truly, absolutely like what I’m working on and, if the answer is no, if it’s possible to discuss it with my project group. Te is very active (even too much, sometimes) and it’s the core of me managing school, blog and personal projects, often writing things down on a schedule in order to keep my mind clear and ordered. I may help my Si more by really trying to re-establish a routine, but honestly the P approach helped me very much in this months of uncertainty, so I think I’ll keep going on like this as long as I’m fine.

Thank you for reading this far! - the mods

[crackimagines]

New Horizons (FE: Three Houses Short Fic)

Animal Crossing AU

(PART 1) 

(PART 2)

Byleth, Megumi, and Kazuma must spearhead their group to safety after being transported to an unknown world…

…Of pure comfort and relaxation, led by talking Raccoons, apparently.

----

DAY 1

When the plane finally landed, Kazuma, Aqua and Megumi stretched and took in the island air.

(Kazuma) “Ya know for a buncha raccoons, they’re really good fliers!”

(Megumi) “It’s strange seeing our world like this. Though...the situation here seems far more ideal than the one I was in...”

(Aqua) “Hm? Whatcha mean?”

(Megumi) “...Oh! I’ll save that story for another time, I think everyone has sea legs...Or would that be air legs?”

Everyone else was shaken after being on a vehicle that defied all of their logic. 

(Claude) “Sweet land, how I’ve missed you so!”

Kazuma rolled his eyes and turned around to see three raccoons.

Two of them were Timmy and Tommy and the bigger one seemed to be in charge.

(Tom) “Hello, is everyone here?”

(Megumi) “Yes, sir.”

(Tom) “Perfect! Now, let’s all head over to the plaza, I’ll be making our announcement there!”

After heading to the plaza, the raccoon took names of everyone and checked the names off his clipboard. 

Once everything checked out, he cleared his throat.

(Tom) “Welcome everyone, to your new island! My name is Tom Nook, and I’m the founder and president of Nook Inc., yes yes! Today is the first day of your new pristine island life!”

Tom Nook explained to the party that they were to begin their new lives on this deserted island as a getaway package, and that their company would be providing everything they need to be comfortable.

Tommy and Timmy gave everyone tents to set up their first homes.

(Tom) “When you’re done, please head back to the plaza! We’ll see you in a bit!”

He turned around and began speaking to the smaller raccoons, presumably about what to do next. 

(Byleth) “I guess we oughtta go head and find somewhere to camp out.”

(Kazuma) “Well, see ya in a bit then.”

Everyone nodded and went off in separate groups.

Dimitri, Edelgard, Claude

(Claude) “Ah, this gives me some nostalgia!”

(Edelgard) “You cannot be referring to the time when we were running away from those bandits, right?”

(Claude) “Course I am! It’s kinda a similar situation. On the move, unknown territory, and all of us together!”

(Dimitri) “I fail to see the connection. These aren’t bandits they’re...talking raccoons! I cannot wrap my head around this, nor the technology they possess!”

(Edelgard) “Megunee Kazuma and Aqua seem used to it though. They did say that this was their world, correct?”

(Claude) “We should ask ‘em next chance we get, I’m getting more and more curious about this place myself.”

(Dimitri) “Well in any case, is this where we are sleeping?”

The three of them were standing near the beach, the view looking right at the ocean waves crashing against the sand.

(Edelgard) “Beachside property, eh? Heh, looks like you do have some taste, Claude.”

(Claude) “I’m the only one who does here.”

Byleth, Darkness, Megumin

(Byleth) “Strange, I thought you would’ve gone with Kazuma and Aqua.”

(Megumin) “We already live with them, so it’s nice to take just a little break now and again! And besides, with how small this island is, I’m sure we’ll be seeing each other a lot.”

(Darkness) “This truly is a fascinating world. No war, just peace and quiet...and...talking animals.”

(Byleth) “Yeah, it’s quite the sight. Oh and uh, while we’re here-”

(Darkness & Megumin) ?

(Byleth) “Try...not to weird Tom Nook and the kids out, yeah?”

(Darkness) “I honestly have no idea what you mean.”

(Megumin) “Uh...huh.”

The three of them made their tents nearby the river on the right side of the area.

Megumi, Kazuma, Aqua

(Megumi) “So this is camping!”

(Aqua) “First time?”

(Megumi) “Yes, I’ve never had the chance to do this as a kid. In Japanese cities, there’s not a lot of places where you can do this.”

(Kazuma) “Yeah, it’s a bit claustrophobic. Though, I wouldn’t know too much about that.”

(Aqua) “I’m still trying to figure out how we got here? I can contact Eris and Sothis just fine, so we definitely have access back but...”

(Megumi) “But you don’t know, yes?”

(Aqua) “Right. For Kazuma to get back to his old world, he had to defeat the Demon King. And when we got transported to Fodlan, I think we’re supposed to fight the Flame Emperor or something. As for here?”

(Kazuma) “Meh, I’m fine living in Animal Crossing.”

(Megumi) “So, what is this world? You seem to know this place a bit.”

(Kazuma) “I’ve played a few of the games myself, actually. Basically we just live here in houses and just laze around all day. It’s very relaxing to play, and it’s gonna be even sweeter to live in! Just the life I wanted!”

(Aqua) “Tch, of course the first thing you do is take advantage of it.”

(Kazuma) “Hell yeah, I am! No way I’m gonna let my life of luxury go away like this!”

(Megumi) “Well...Do you know if humans are still around? Tom and the others didn’t seem to react to us that violently.”

(Kazuma) “Oh yeah, it’s supposed to be modern day and everything. Japan, Europe, America, they’re all still here. Only difference is that there’s talking animals that live here in this world too, and no bad war or anything seems to happen.”

(Megumi) “I...I see.”

Megumi’s hand clenched around her necklace for a moment.

(Aqua) “You alright?”

(Megumi) “Y-Yes! Let’s just set our tents, shall we?”

They all nodded and got to work. Their tents were in the middle of a field with barely any trees around.

Everyone made their way back and Tom Nook smiled.

At least they assumed so, all he did was close his eyes.

(Tom) “Alright, with that taken care of, we can move onto more serious business...LIKE THROWING AN ISLAND-WARMING PARTY! We’ll have it right here in the plaza with a roaring campfire!”

(Claude) “Hah, that’s something I can get behind!”

(Aqua) “PARTY, WOOOO!”

(Tom) “I’m glad to see you’re so excited! Now, we’ll just need a couple supplies! Dimitri, Claude, and Edelgard, let’s clean up the plaza! Byleth, Darkness and Megumin, you should find some snacks on the trees! I’ve test tasted a few of them and they’re safe to eat. Aqua, Megumi, and Kazuma, if I could have a word?”

Everyone got off to work as the three went up to Tom Nook.

(Tom) “Now, I know it says that Megumi is the Representative of the island, but can I entrust you two to help as well? You all seem the least nervous about the package, and I’m sure everyone would rally behind you!”

(Aqua) “Hah, you made a good choice!-”

(Kazuma) “Can we have Byleth instead?”

(Aqua) “HUH?!”

(Kazuma) “He’s actually our professor, alongside Megune-Er, Miss Sakura here. Aqua is just kinda here.”

(Tom) “A professor you say? Very well, Aqua could you go help Megumin and Darkness then?”

(Aqua) “I WON’T FORGET THIS KAZUMAAAAAAAA!”

She ran off quickly towards Byleth’s group and everyone else looked on in awkward silence.

(Tom) “...She’s a colorful character.”

(Megumi) “Hah, you have...no idea.”

(Kazuma) “Anyways, we’ll be more than happy to help mister Nook!”

(Tom) “Excellent, thank you very much! Now, let’s get to work!”

Kazuma walked off to help Dimitri’s group, but Megumi was still standing.

(Tom) “Is something wrong?”

(Megumi) “Um...is it possible to send a letter out?”

Later...

Once everyone did their assigned jobs, they all stood in front of the plaza as Tom stood in the center.

(Tom) “Now, it’s been a big day for the island of Garreg, and it’s gotten a bit late, so let’s all have a toast!”

Everyone got out their drinks.

(Tom) “These are pear drinks made with the help of Byleth, Aqua, Darkness, and Megumin!”

(Byleth) “Glad to have helped.”

(Aqua) “Hmph!”

(Darkness) “A simple task for a paladin.”

(Megumin) “Insultingly simple for the Crimson Demon!”

(Tom) “And we have this toasty fire thanks to the efforts of Dimitri, Edelgard, Claude, Kazuma, and Megumi!”

(Claude) “No need for thanks!”

(Dimitri) “How modest you sound, Claude.”

(Edelgard) “We appreciate the attention, mister Nook.”

(Kazuma) “My arms are sore as heeeee-...ck.”

(Megumi) “M-Mine as well, but it was well worth it in the end!”

(Tom) “Now, on the count of three, let’s have a cheer to our new life!”

“HERE HERE!”

The party began with everyone chugging down their drinks, and the music played from the nearby radio.

Aqua entertained everyone with her party magic, and for a grand finale, Megumin cast a powerful and colorful explosion in the skies. As everyone mingled and danced to the music, Byleth quietly slipped away from the crowd.

Megumi was the first to notice and followed her, which in turn made Kazuma follow her.

Byleth sat on the beach, watching the waves glisten from the starry sky above.

(Megumi) “Byleth?”

(Byleth) “Megumi.”

She sat down next to him, and Kazuma joined the two by sitting down as well.

(Byleth) “This...is a bit unsettling. I’ve never had an experience quite like this.”

(Kazuma) “After the first time you kinda get used to it.”

(Megumi) “I don’t understand how!”

(Byleth) “I...think I understand how you two feel now. Being transported to some unknown world, not sure what happened to everyone back at home...”

(Kazuma) “Bah, you got the easy end! We’re in a happy cuddly world, lot better to your war torn world!...No offense.”

(Byleth) “Hm. None taken. My world is the Monastery now anyway I don’t care much for outside of it.

(Megumi) “My old world was...enjoyable...until a certain day...”

(Kazuma & Byleth) “Huh?”

(Megumi) “Oh, sorry! I didn’t mean to bring the mood down! This is supposed to be a party after all!”

(Kazuma) “This have something to do with your letter you sent out?”

(Megumi) “Ah...”

(Byleth) “Letter?”

(Megumi) “Well...When you said that this was a world without crisis, and it was Earth in modern times I...asked Tom Nook to send out a letter to some former students I taught and my mother.”

(Kazuma) “What are their names?”

(Megumi) “Yuki, Yuuri, and Kurumi. In short, let’s just say...something happened to me that I was no longer able to talk to them so...If this world is truly as peaceful as you say, I wish to experience it with them. My family as well.”

(Sothis) “Hah, that’s much like her. Thinking about others before herself.”

(Kazuma) “Wouldn’t be Megunee if she didn’t right?”

(Megumi) “H-Huh? Who said that?”

Byleth and Kazuma’s eyes widened and Sothis faded away quickly.

(Byleth) “Um...Anyways, so what are we in for, Kazuma?”

(Kazuma) “Well...if this is like Animal Crossing, we’ll be living here for a good long while. We can pretty much relax everyday and do whatever we want. But uh...we’ll be in debt.”

Kazuma loudly sighed.

(Kazuma) “Even in a kid friendly world, my ass is still in debt...”

(Megumi) “Wait, debt?”

(Tom) “Oh, I wouldn’t phrase it that way!”

Everyone jumped up, hearing Tom directly behind them.

(Kazuma) “JESUS!”

(Megumi) “GAH!”

(Byleth) “WHOA!”

(Tom) “Sorry, I did not mean to frighten, haha! I just wanted to let you all know that everyone is heading back to their tent for some shut eye. I’ll be telling you all what’s in store for your new lives tomorrow!”

They looked at each other and nodded.

(Kazuma) “Well, we’re looking forward to our lives here!”

(Megumi) “Indeed!”

(Byleth) “It’ll be interesting.”

(Tom) “Good to hear it, good night!”

Tom nook waved everyone off and went back to the plaza.

(Byleth) “New lives...again.”

(Megumi) “I won’t waste the second chance of life I’ve been given.”

(Kazuma) “Same here...Wait, what?”

(Megumi) “Good night everyone!”

Byleth and Kazuma looked concerned for a moment, but decided to ignore it. After saying good night, they all went to bed.

[if-the-crown-fits-translate-it]

Discord pt 100

[Date: 20/03, 7:45 PM GMT - 20/03, 8:49 PM GMT]

[Prior to the below conversation, Mona and Marcus briefly discuss how Maxwell had said that Fetch was supposed to be returning home this day. Even if it wasn’t the Fetch they knew, Mona said that he’d still have to take a bath when he got home.]

Little-K1ng: “i.. kind of dont want to think about it until it happens, yknow?

speaking of max, did you see??

im so proud of him, he left and didnt feel like he had to tell me why”

marcus...?: “Oh! Progress!!”

Little-K1ng: “of course i saw the post, hes waiting for fetch. but i think he also needed something from that place he was staying at? im just hopeful for him

im glad hes feeling confident after all this”

marcus...?: “Me too

He seemed...less stressed”

Little-K1ng: “yeah !!

but honestly, so do you”

marcus...?: “Do I?”

Little-K1ng: “yeah, just a bit

you know i still support you, right?”

marcus...?: “...”

Little-K1ng: “just like how i support max taking off his necklace, i support you being yourself

whatever that means to you”

donti: “. its up to you, marcus.”

marcus...?: “...”

Little-K1ng: “or viscount, if you like”

Little-K1ng: “do you want me to be honest?”

marcus...?: “Please”

Little-K1ng: “i know i havent done that much lately

i dont.... i dont really think you've been "marcus" this whole time. i believe thats who you were before crown, but i dont think you ever really fell out of the Family, so to speak

and im fine with that”

marcus...?: “...you are?”

llyr (they/them): “uhm, i hate to interrupt, but i think knight has max?”

donti: “WHAT”

Little-K1ng: “WH

okay,, uh”

donti: “NOT GOOD”

[marcus...?: “...you are?”]

Little-K1ng: “yes i am

but also”

llyr (they/them): “max said he was going to go outside and now knight said “he has the third””

Little-K1ng: “HHHH”

donti: “hey hey uh. this is.. not ideal but. we can. work through this.

do you know. wher ethey are OH WAIT BARONESS IS WHAT

baroness is taking max.

but fetch looks to be coming back.”

llyr (they/them): “... 3:

... shit.”

donti: “"shit" indeed.”

Little-K1ng: “I.....”

donti: “mona?”

Little-K1ng: “christ”

donti: “marcus.. or veyecount?”

Little-K1ng: “i cant even go get him,

i thought he was on his way back i...”

marcus...?: “...max isnt.. coming back”

donti: “no..

unless you want to try to catch baroness.

fetch can hear the music.”

marcus...?: “What music?”

donti: “. the music crown plays.

to get him to sleep. or be taken.”

marcus...?: “...oh”

donti: “. if he resists it his nose starts bleeding. its not good.”

Jack the Observer: “Fetch is making his way back to the house.

at least.”

marcus...?: “That’s good”

llyr (they/them): “there’s nothing we can do at this point, is there?”

Jack the Observer: “no.”

marcus...?: “...Mona?”

Little-K1ng: “im just.....

i guess... im running a warm bath, do you want to put on some coffee? if fetch shows up, hes going to be exhausted. if knight shows up, hes going to appreciate the effort”

marcus...?: “....yeah I can do that”

Little-K1ng: “.....brew it strong

ill need some too, i have a migraine coming on”

marcus...?: “Got it”

donti: “. guys.

fetch isnt doing. too well.”

llyr (they/them): “...”

marcus...?: “I can see that, try not to stress Mona out any more than she already is please”

donti: “alright.”

Little-K1ng: “marcus, can i check your laurel? just to see if anything else has happened to it”

marcus...?: “Uh..yeah sure”

Little-K1ng: “hm.. the flowers are pretty and blooming well, but no new changes”

marcus...?: “...can I check for you?”

Jack the Observer: “well. we can see how Mona is doing. how about you, viscount?”

marcus...?: “I’m alright”

arc: “is there anything you need from us at the moment bud?”

marcus...?: “I’m fine, Mona is stressed”

Jack the Observer 👁: “it would be understandable if you were also stressed, viscount.

after all, you are familiar with both Fetch and Knight.”

marcus...?: “I’m....not stressed exactly

Anxious maybe”

[marcus...?: “...can I check for you?”]

Little-K1ng: “...please”

marcus...?: “....

Nothing

No bumps

Your skins red but you said you’d been pulling on your hair”

Jack the Observer: “it's the twentieth.”

Little-K1ng: “yeah... been constantly checking and its actually kinda hurting from that”

Jack the Observer: “that would imply that she is not, in fact the fourth.

...”

Little-K1ng: “but only from that, nothing on the skin”

Jack the Observer: “so who is?”

Little-K1ng: “im.... i just....ii  j ust ,,”

llyr (they/them): “wasn’t baroness’s a spontaneous growth?”

Jack the Observer: “not really. she had a unusual headache and illness for days before.”

Little-K1ng: “i dd o nt knn ow”

donti: “ah. mona.”

marcus...?: “Hey hey hey Mona it’s okay”

Little-K1ng: “h h ow amd i gg oi ng to kee p d oi ng this”

Little-K1ng: “eever yy FUCKING time,,”

donti: “breathe..”

Jack the Observer: “calm yourself.

fetch is here

is fetch there, mona”

donti: “fetch!”

Little-K1ng: “hh es ??

wha t?

oh

oh i hear footsteps on the porch”

Jack the Observer: “calm yourself. go to fetch.”

Little-K1ng: “I”

marcus...?: “ow”

Little-K1ng: “WOAH okay”

. . .: “ ...”

Little-K1ng: “FETCH?”

marcus...?: “Did you have to slam the door??”

. . .: “............”

marcus...?: “Holy shit”

. . .: “...”

Jack the Observer: “viscount, what's happening.”

donti: “fetch?”

Little-K1ng: “the door just FLEW open oh my god”

marcus...?: “He’s..covered in blood”

Little-K1ng: “oh my god

oh thats a lot....”

marcus...?: “Oh my god”

. . .: “Cant you hear that lovely tune?”

Jack the Observer: “Who's the most coherent one in the room”

marcus...?: “Me?”

Little-K1ng: “the... tune?”

donti: “. the song.”

marcus...?: “Fetch there’s no sound”

Bea (she/they): “oh no”

Jack the Observer: “well. can you hear puppet?”

marcus...?: “Just..us”

Jack the Observer: “...”

Little-K1ng: “fetch..... its quiet except for your breathing, are you....?”

Jack the Observer: “it's Knight that's playing puppet, then.”

donti: “or crown.”

marcus...?: “There’s no sounds”

Little-K1ng: “fetch... i..”

marcus...?: “No one is playing anything”

Little-K1ng: “hey, come here... you're gonna hurt yourself, i can help you stand..”

marcus...?: “WHOA HEY”

[donti: “is his nose bleeding?”]

Little-K1ng: “genuinely the least answerable question”

Jack the Observer: “someone get Max's tea.”

Little-K1ng: “AH

FETCH”

marcus...?: “he just collapsed”

Little-K1ng: “hes on the floor

ill carry him im”

donti: “the tea jacks right give him the tea”

Little-K1ng: “he needs a lot”

C R O W N: “:)”

Little-K1ng: “[GASP] uh uh hey hey there uh”

donti: “. crown. nice to.. see you again.”

Little-K1ng: “just gonna,, drag

fetch,,”

Little-K1ng: “gotta get him cleaned up,, hahahaha,,, uh,,,”

C R O W N: “hello again everyone :) long time, no see”

marcus...?: “.....

Crown”

marcus...?: “Crown I’m so sorry”

Little-K1ng: “here bud, just lay here, okay? you'll be alright,, ill keep you safe, you'll be okay, fetch

ill grab maxs weird water for you just.... just lay here.... dont slump like that...”

[marcus...?: “Crown I’m so sorry”]

C R O W N: “Ah, viscount :) how are you feeling? your flowers are coming in beautifully”

marcus...?: “I’m feeling alright but..

I’m sorry

im so sorry”

Little-K1ng: “here, fetch, shh... just.... ill wipe you down with it... it should help.... i cant see if you're wounded i cant see it... ,my migraine.....you'll be okay you'll be okay ill keep you safe”

[marcus...?: “im so sorry”]

C R O W N: “It's alright :) i'm not mad, i promise”

marcus...?: “..you’re not?

I... I pushed you in a river”

donti: “marcus?

marcus...?: “I pushed you in a river and I knew it would hurt you I was just so scared im sorry

I never wanted to leave I was just scared I'm sorry”

Little-K1ng: “there we go.... your cuts are sealing, you're looking better already... you're breathing okay... i promised you would come home in time and you're here fetch and im so glad”

[marcus...?: “I never wanted to leave I was just scared I'm sorry”]

C R O W N: “It's okay, vis. You're going home now. That's what matters :)”

marcus...?: “i can come back?”

Little-K1ng: “im sure lawrence would have understood.... im sure he forgives you..... its okay....... i forgive you, i was never mad fetch im here.... i wont let you go again i promise i promise i”

marcus...?: “you’ll let me come back home?” 

[marcus...?: “you’ll let me come back home?”] 

C R O W N: “of course :)”

marcus...?: “thank you thankyouthankyou

....crown?”

C R O W N: “:)”

marcus...?: “Crown...max and fetch...

They aren’t happy.......when they’re page and knight

please

let them be happy”

Kate: “Oh, this is such a good day!”

marcus...?: “can you promise me that?”

Little-K1ng: “its okay fetch its okay ive got you im holding you you'll be okay even if you're knight i wont mind i wont as long as you're okay and you're happy i promise i really do”

donti: “chat and kate are here.”

Jack the Observer: “hello, pawns :)”

Kate: “:)”

Chat: “:)”

[.: “let them be happy”]

C R O W N: “Of course, vis. I promise they'll be happy:)”

marcus...?: “thank you”

Little-K1ng: “crown is in my house hes in my house hes talking to marcus viscount him and i just i dont know what to do i said i would be okay im going to be okay ive done it before and ill do it again ill be okay”

[Jack the Observer: “calm yourself, Mona. focus on... your dog.”]

Little-K1ng: “name one single other thing i have ever been focused on you many eyed FUCK”

Kate: “:)”

[Kate: “hello there! are you as excited as we are?”]

Jack the Observer: “we've certainly been waiting for this moment with a comparable amount of energy.”

Kate: “:)”

donti: “you seem excited. i hope youre happy.”

C R O W N: “It's time to go home, for all of you. Are you ready? :)”

.: “I’m ready”

Little-K1ng: “ive been waiting for this day for weeks now and its here and i dont know what to do i dont know how to help or what to say or how to feel or what to think what the fuck”

Kate: “Of course I’m happy, silly! Family is coming home today! Wouldn’t you be happy?”

. . .: “Duh! why wouldn't i be!”

Little-K1ng: “knight if today is the day you still have to get up and go hes here and i dont know how patient hes going to be please ijust wa nt  yo u to be h a pp y . and sa sa fe....”

C R O W N: “I'm glad to hear it :)”

Jack the Observer: “we're just waiting on the second and the fourth, now.”

Little-K1ng: “the second is in here in the bathroom with me please crown please come in and see him i cant get him to wake up hes exhausted and i dont know what to do”

donti: “why are you calling him that...”

Jack the Observer: “well. we can't call him Knight or Fetch.”

Little-K1ng: “hes breathing hes ALIVE but i cant i cant help him i dont know what to do hes not bleeding anymore he should be awake”

Bea (she/they): “who said we couldn't call him fetch?”

[donti: “why are you calling him that...”]

Jack the Observer: “the second makes it clear, at least, who we're speaking about.”

[Little-K1ng: “hes breathing hes ALIVE but i cant i cant help him i dont know what to do hes not bleeding anymore he should be awake”]

C R O W N: “Ah I see :)”

Jack the Observer: “he may not be fetch right now. it's disrespectful not to call someone by their chosen name.”

Little-K1ng: “i dont know who the fourth is and i dont know what to do i dont have a laurel and i dont know how to help”

C R O W N: “:)”

Little-K1ng: “WHY ARE YOU SMILING?? IS HE OKAY WHAT DO I DO CROWN”

[Little-K1ng: “WHY ARE YOU SMILING?? IS HE OKAY WHAT DO I DO CROWN”]

C R O W N: “The first came willingly, the second is sleeping, the third is heading home. The fourth? :)”

Kate: “Don't worry, Mona! When he wakes up, he'll be good as new! Crown always takes care of us”

Little-K1ng: “crown my migraine isnt worse with you around, its just the same. i weirdly expected something to change while im looking at you”

Little-K1ng: “im just looking at you and you're right in front of me. you're just. you're just smiling at me and im just as conflicted as i was before. i dont know what to do, crown

[hic] ii , ,i  just don n t kn ow wwh a t to do..”

Jack the Observer: “please stay coherent, mona.”

Little-K1ng: “i, , i m, t try ing,... ii h a ve t o try”

C R O W N: “It's alright :) can i speak with you? away from prying eyes?”

Little-K1ng: “I...”

Little-K1ng: “yeah

we can talk”

Jack the Observer: “...”

donti: “... be safe mona.”

llyr (they/them): “... stay safe”

Jack the Observer: “mind how you go.”

Little-K1ng: “ill be safe, i think. i dont think he could really hurt me like this”

Kate: “:)”

Jack the Observer: “:)”

Kate: “Everything will be alright. Don't worry your pretty little heads.”

Chat: “:)”

Kate: “:)”

donti: “.i wonder if the others are alright.”

Jack the Observer: “will everything come out alright? none of us can be certain.”

Kate: “Come on, don't be sad. Today's a joyous day! It's the first day of spring!”

Jack the Observer: “not even Kate, confident as they are”

donti: “ah. a very happy day.”

donti: “spring.”

Kate: “Why wouldn't everything come out alright? Family's coming home! It's time to have a good old fashioned celebration!”

llyr (they/them): “spring... is a very good season. it’s new beginnings, right? :3″

Kate: “Exactly! It's a time for new beginnings, to clear away the dust and sadness and coldness of winter and let the sunshine in!”

donti: “spring cleaning is. overrated.”

llyr (they/them): “haha.. you’re right...”

Kate: “Yes, but sometimes it's necessary to let beautiful things grow!”

[huntershowl]

things a new rp partner should know about me !

fun new meme here ! write 3-5 things a rp partner (or those who want to be) should know about you and tag 3-5 people! it should be related to rp and not to other interests. sidenote: i’m sorry for the length, as always

one. on fast replies: i’m high activity. especially because of quarantine, but pretty much anytime i don’t have irl responsibilities to deal with. i’ve got a lot of muse, most of the time, so my replies – especially shorter ones or threads i’m excited about / with someone i’m close to – will likely be fast! that does not mean i expect you to reply as fast as me. just do you. reply a year later, i will never pressure you. on that note, though, if my quick replies stress you out, just let me know and i’ll queue them!

two. on plotting: i value plotting more than anything. plotting allows for me to give your muse the most respect possible in writing with them, and allows me to judge how much info to give out about hellhound from the outset. some people, like @pristinette​, know secrets about her that no one else does, which is discussed in private and primarily because pearl is on the same level as hellhound in her classified shit. same goes for @alreadybrcken​ because of the sheer amount we’ve written together. if your muse knows hellhound / was there for parts of her past, they’ll know more on the outset, etc etc etc. plotting ALSO helps get past those first awkward stages, where hellhound doesn’t want to talk to your muse because lbr, she doesn’t wanna talk to anyone. thus, we can discuss how to force them into situations that will make them interact and make her eventually shed some of the hostility (or not. depending on the partner!)

three. on prickliness: i love first meeting threads! i know they’re not everyone’s cup of tea, but for hellhound, i have a really hard time going forward with a dynamic if i don’t know her first impression of your muse. whether or not that’s done with a thread or just a long talk ooc, it’s all good either way; i just need to know what happens, how they react, etc. beyond that? any friendship or relationship with hellhound is going to have to be a slowburn. i have a really hard time not pandering to the average niceness of rp characters and staying true to her, but it helps if people who interact with me understand that it’s going to take a while. you know how in animal crossing, you have to talk to sable the hedgehog every day for her to eventually warm up to you? yeah. she doesn’t trust often or easily. i can’t just... ship from the get go, or have her immediately like or be nice to another muse without at LEAST a few months of effort. that’s another reason plotting is so important! it’s not like aggression is the be-all-end-all, but if you don’t want a mean/hostile/aggressive muse, then uh, don’t write with hellhound.

four. on respect: i’ve talked about this before but i’ll do it again! unless otherwise discussed, there are very, very few things the public knows about hellhound. in my about, i linked the post that details the rumors following her across worlds – perhaps rumors isn’t the right word, though, because despite my hard rule that they’re almost universally considered true, it rarely works out that way. i think @nolaroots​‘s pasha is one of the few i’ve interacted with who treats her murderousness like the difficult thing it is; shoutout here because i appreciate pher so much for that. hellhound’s character is built around misconceptions and moral issues. it’s okay – in fact, it’s encouraged – to strongly dislike her from the outset, or be terrified of her initially. even if your muse doesn’t believe she transforms into an actual wolfmonster (but in any world with werewolves in it, why wouldn’t they?), there is no doubt that hellhound is literally a serial killer. most of her victims are rendered unrecognizable because she straight-up beats them and rips them to death; she doesn’t tell most anyone, let alone someone she’s never interacted with, why she kills who she kills. you’d have to do some serious karen page-level digging (shoutout to @sevenbulletsavior​ bc hell yeah, you go karen) to figure it out without talking to her, but to everyone else?? just regular fuckin people torn to shreds! people with families! so i just – i ask you to respect that she is feared, and that most people would logically have no reason not to fear her. this obviously doesn’t apply if your muse wouldn’t be afraid of / hate any gruesome murderer for whatever reason. this is one of the reasons i’m so hyped about my fe: three houses verse, though. pre-timeskip, she’s in disguise, which allows for interactions without the murder hanging over their heads. but post-timeskip, whether or not she’s made friends, her identity’s gone public; the shift in viewpoint, the fear and realization and conflict... there’s so much potential.

five. on shyness: i always have the urge to reach out to people to plot, but i don’t always have the courage to do it. sometimes we talk and it doesn’t go anywhere and then i’m worried that talking to you again would annoy you, so i just leave it at that and watch from afar. if you want to talk/plot, i just wanna say that that will never be the case in reverse (and i’m working on understanding that in regards to other people!) please please feel free to message me, even if our conversation petered out but you still want to plot. or if we’ve never talked! if i don’t answer, i still saw it, and i will get to the message at some point. you are not annoying! and i’m happy to get a message. promise. 〜(￣▽￣〜)

tagged by: @diegraced​ ( thank u vas :D ) tagging: if i mentioned you in this and you want to do it, i tag you!

[drewinator23]

FE3H MBTI [Dimitri — ISFJ]

lol so. it looks like a lot of people are subscribing to the idea that dimitri is an ENFJ, in contrast to edelgard, who is supposedly an ENTJ. i believe that misses the point of these characters — and their dynamic — almost entirely, especially in dimitri’s case. while i will say i think edelgard is an INTJ, at least that isn’t too far off from ENTJ. the cognitive difference between ISFJ and ENFJ though...oh boy, where do i start.

the whole dimitri/edelgard conflict isn’t so much a clash between Fe and Te as it is a clash between Si and Ni — with dimitri, of course, representing the former. Fe vs Te does come into play a little (ISFJ’s auxiliary Fe vs INTJ’s auxiliary Te), but i honestly think the main focus of their clash is the past vs future dynamic typical of Si/Ni conflict.

ISFP seems to be a popular choice for dimitri too, but tbh i think a lot of people are mistaking his Si for Fi. i just want to say, right now, that this man...does not have Fi. lol. not in his main functions anyway (yes i will be getting into shadow functions, and cognitive loops, and all that good stuff, so if that’s not your cup of tea then here’s your warning!) ...but yeah let’s get into it.

Dominant Si 

“I must never forget that day. I must never allow their deaths to be forgotten.”

dimitri has a very strong connection to the past. and this doesn’t just apply to his past, but to the concept of the past in general. in stark contrast to edelgard, dimitri vehemently believes in “preserving what deserves to be preserved,” which is an important factor in why his methods are far less radical than hers. he believes it’s possible to improve the system currently in place without tearing it from the ground up the way edelgard does. he places a lot more focus on honoring the fallen, on reminiscing about days gone by, and on respecting tradition in general. and this isn’t to say he’s a dense fuck. dimitri is very much capable of criticizing tradition where it’s due, and we see him do this on multiple occasions. it’s just that he has a lot more appreciation for the positive aspects of tradition/“the past” which edelgard seems to ignore completely. where edelgard wishes her “worthless dreams of the past” would go away, dimitri legit admits to relying on his headaches/nightmares of the past as reminders because he is genuinely afraid to forget the faces of those he “let die,” along with those he killed. he believes forgetting their faces would be an insult to their memory. he talks about his history with edelgard far more than she talks about her history with him. he becomes furious when edelgard’s forces attack the holy tomb and “desecrate the dead.” i think you guys get where i’m going with this. while it’s true that a substantial amount of dimitri’s connection to the past is unhealthy, that’s largely due to the trauma he suffers, along with the cognitive imbalance stemming from his Si-Ti loop. obsessing over the past the way dimitri does is far more indicative of an unhealthy Si user than it is of shadow Si, which is more likely to just abandon the past altogether...or uh, “trample the past underfoot” (looking at you, hegemon edelgard). 

“I owe you, just as I owe the spirits of those I let die.”

second point — duty. (i’m guessing this is the point a lot of people confuse for Fi. dimtiri’s pretty preachy, yeah, but not all talk about justice is inherently rooted in Fi. more on that later though.) this guy literally constructs his entire life around the idea of fulfilling his duty, be it his duty to his father, his duty to dedue’s people, his duty to his kingdom, etc. he constantly talks about his need to fulfill these duties, and pretty much all the effort he puts into anything is driven by this. even his earlier, more light-hearted supports tend to carry a running theme of him making promises (which he takes almost comedically seriously), encouraging his classmates to be responsible, creating debts to be repaid, and so on. the only reason he even goes to the academy in the first place is, by his own admission, to fulfill what he perceives as his duty as the Sole Survivor of the Tragedy of Duscur™. obsessive revenge is a fucked up conception of duty, sure, but it transforms into something healthier by the end of the story while remaining very distinctly Si. his duty to ghosts becomes his duty to the living — to the people in his kingdom who need him now. essentially, he develops a more constructive attitude toward duty that helps both him and the people he constantly feels he “owes.” my boi snaps out of his Si-Ti loop and becomes a bro again once dat aux Fe and inf Ne come back to balance shit out, y’know what i’m saying? anyway speaking of aux Fe,

Auxiliary Fe

“This victory is the result of everyone’s hard work. Thank you, my friends.”

academy phase dimitri (and i guess uh...post-post-timeskip dimitri) is just about the nicest guy ever. he can be stiff and awkward to the point of being comically serious at times, sure (thanks dominant Si), but he’s generally very polite and agreeable. he’s conscious of the atmosphere in his conversations and always makes an effort to keep things comfortable for everyone involved. tbh he could make do with less of the whole constantly-falling-over-himself-apologizing thing, and it would be kinda cool if “sorry” didn’t make up over 90% of his dialogue, but i digress. regret is dimitri’s middle name so it kinda makes sense for it to permeate even his most mundane interactions. ANYWAY my point is — dimitri’s always trying to make sure everyone gets along and he generally prioritizes harmony over being fully honest about his own feelings, which strikes me as a lot more Fe than Fi. a simple but hopefully effective example of this is his support with flayn where he eats her awful fucking food and tells her it’s delicious even though he can’t taste it. he later admits to her that he was only saying what he thought she’d want to hear, which is like...peak Fe my dudes. a good chunk of his support and even main story dialogue involves him trying to smooth things over, prevent conflict, let people know they did a good job, and so on. and this isn’t just with respect to the other blue lions, but to the other house leaders as well. a lot of the praise he dishes out commends hard work and effort (thanks dominant Si), but his focus is also largely on teamwork and cooperation. 

“I saved someone—saved you. That and that alone has always been my crutch.”  

now on to the darker side of...not-so-healthy Fe users. dimitri openly admits to dedue that saving him gave him a reason to live, that it makes him think it was worthwhile that someone “like [him]” survived. and this savior complex doesn’t just apply to his relationship with dedue, but to his behavior and decisions in general. it’s exacerbated by the sense of genuine responsibility and duty he attaches to everything (thanks dominant Si), and it sparks up in many different ways. he admits that he feels like it’s his responsibility to help the orphans at the monastery, since he lost his family like they did. he tells byleth he wants to become like rodrigue, whom he describes as “someone who can reach out and save a lost soul.” he apologizes to byleth for not being able to save jeralt (?? BRUH.) he begs byleth to tell him how he can “save” the ghosts of his loved ones, even though they’re...you know. dead. i think this prob comes from his endless regret that he couldn’t actually stop anyone from dying in the tragedy, so he’s just obsessed with saving everyone he can now. in any case, dimitri feels the pain of loss in war very, very acutely, which is why he freaks the fuck out in remire. he later admits the flames in remire reminded him of the flames in duscur, which flung him into the same rage he associates with what happened in duscur, even though he had no particular connection to the villagers in remire. he absorbs the suffering of people around him like a sponge and surprise surprise it breaks his mind. eventually his Fe gets overloaded af and shuts down (hello Si-Ti loop), but even unhinged dimitri shows an occasional connection to others’ feelings — endearingly so when he pats a random orphan’s head, and eerily so when he sympathizes with fleche’s bloodlust and allows her to join the party because of it.

Tertiary Ti

“He’s dead. There goes our chance to gain more information.”

dimitri’s introverted realm is one of Si and Ti. he wants to reconcile his understanding of what happened in the past with a logical, substantial explanation, and he works tirelessly to find this explanation. this becomes increasingly apparent when he actually spends time alone — when he isn’t in the company of others, dimitri is far more research-oriented than he is overtly sentimental. he is interested in learning the facts of his circumstances, and he spends hours in the library looking for answers, trying to find out for himself what really happened. he is skeptical of the generally accepted “truth” that duscur itself is to blame, and instead believes that the blame foisted on it is meant to cover up something far more underhanded. of course, he is right about this, and he conducts as much research as he can to get to the bottom of the event. he spends hours in the library, late into the night. he reads about his uncle, lord arundel, and immediately suspects his involvement because the church’s records of his donations abruptly stop right before the tragedy. dimitri questions the man himself about this during their brief encounter pre-timeskip, though it (predictably) doesn’t really lead anywhere. he tries this again post-timeskip, but arundel dies before dimitri can pry too much out of him, which the latter bitterly laments. 

“That is merely the logic of the living. It’s meaningless.”

much like dimitri’s Si, his Ti becomes warped once he enters his Si-Ti loop — feeding into a harsh, twisted, self-deprecating sort of logic that only reinforces itself and ignores other viewpoints (thanks to Fe and Ne shutting down). he becomes uncharacteristically blunt and critical, and the colder, more cynical view of the world we see glimpses of pre-timeskip becomes far more pronounced. in his mind, it doesn’t make sense for the living to move on in hopes of appeasing the dead. turning a blind eye to the dead is blasphemous, and anyone who believes that the dead would want the living to do so is merely adopting “the logic of the living” — a delusion to make themselves feel better. this belief likely helps him rationalize his own desire for revenge, and inability to let go of his past, and so the Si-Ti loop reinforces itself. to reiterate though, dimitri’s Ti is incredibly helpful and constructive when he isn’t loopy (ahahah. get it.) but anyway yeah, in short, his analytical process is typically far more introverted than the sensitive, emotion-focused approach he maintains externally. also, his attention to detail and refusal to accept things at face value are more subtle, covert elements of his personality, but they are definitely there. it’s not as pronounced as claude’s auxiliary Ti, sure, but tertiary Ti ain’t a force to be reckoned with either.

Inferior Ne

“Lineage, race, faith, ideologies... If we could just accept each other and make mutual concessions, one step at a time... Perhaps... Who knows if that’s even possible.”

again, this is one of claude’s functions but more baby. take upside down man’s dominant Ne and make it a bit smoller, more scared, and quicker to shut down. inferior Ne is brilliant, but unfortunately the fourth function tends to be one of insecurity. dimitri aspires to be open-minded and accepting (there’s a reason the inferior function is sometimes called the aspirational function), but it’s something he admittedly struggles with at times. he believes in compromise and understanding, and not just in an Fe way — dimitri advocates for reaching out to other perspectives in war, in politics, and in various other contexts throughout the story. it isn’t the first thing on his mind, but it’s an ideal he genuinely admires. and later in the game, once he snaps out of his loop (which is inherently tunnel-visioned due to its introverted nature), he opens up to the idea again and seeks to understand edelgard’s point of view. he asks to speak with her, to get a better idea of where she’s coming from, to negotiate and hopefully reach a mutual understanding. this echoes his dialogue in chapter 3, where he laments the incident with lord lonato and expresses his belief that they shouldn’t have cut him down, but talked to him instead. dimitri’s Si-Ti loop effectively shuts this desire down, for a very long time, but it finally wakes up again once byleth reminds him “there must be another way.”

“I wonder which is best, Professor... To cut away that which is unacceptable, or to find a way to accept it anyway.”

again, as long as byleth is there to steer him back on track, we all know the answer dimitri gets to this in the end. there is always an air of uncertainty about it all — and he definitely needs someone to help kick that inferior into “aspirational mode” — but he is ultimately capable of it. it begins as more of a question than anything, but with guidance it becomes an ideal he can properly believe in and seek for himself. it’s what allows him to finally reach for edelgard’s hand in the end. once he accepts the parts of himself he previously couldn’t, he finds himself able to accept edelgard as well — to extend that same mercy to her. once he’s out of his loop, he doesn’t just regain awareness of his loved ones’ needs with Fe, but becomes invested in understanding their perspectives and motivations again with Ne. he listens to people again, lets them help him, asks them questions, and shows genuine curiosity in their answers. claude would be proud eh?

Shadow Functions

okay here we go. i’m going to make this part shorter since it’s the main functions that matter most, and i know not everyone subscribes to the idea of shadow functions. but anyway here’s the dirt.

Opposing Se

“It’s not that I have grown weary...more that I find it difficult to be around everyone at the moment.”

this man literally cannot taste food. do i even need to elaborate? okay for real though, dimitri often finds it hard to remain present. he’s often caught up in his duties with Si, or worrying about the atmosphere with Fe, or stuck in his research with Ti, and so on. he is very much capable of making pleasant conversation, but actually feeling present is very difficult for him, and he even goes so far as to describe joy as “fleeting.” he struggles to enjoy festivities, claiming they “don’t suit [him],” and prefers instead to chat with byleth about his childhood. he can’t truly enjoy the meals he eats with others, but he remarks about the dishes he “used to love as a child.” trauma aside, dimitri finds genuine comfort in reminiscing about the past, and he often brings it up in his conversations with others. this is a classic dynamic between dominant Si and the opposing Se that comes along with it.

Critic Fi

“Whatever my feelings, it is all the act of a monster.”

dimitri’s personal feelings are...very, very low on his priority list. and despite all his preaching, he ultimately believes that whatever his personal moral compass may be, it doesn’t justify his actions. and he extends this belief to everyone else as well. simply put, dimitri doesn’t think any set of ideals or morals can justify the actions committed in war. as Aleczandxr words it, “the only reality of war is tragedy for him. there is no such thing as a ‘glorious’ or ‘romantic’ death, and sacrifice is blasphemy.” this is evident in his disgust at people trying to glorify glenn’s death (which dimitri ironically shares with felix — who of course has demon Fi — but that’s a topic for another time.) no subjective concept of morality could possibly justify murder, in any context, and this belief is a burden dimitri admits he believes he will carry forever. dimitri’s introverted realm is a reconciliation between Si and Ti, not Si and Fi. although he believes this should apply to everyone in theory, he often struggles to voice it outright, leading to the hypocritical dynamic that often comes with auxiliary Fe and critic Fi. an example of this is when he tells ashe not to beat himself up for what happened with lord lonato, in an attempt to comfort him, but then proceeds to beat himself up for the exact same thing as soon as ashe leaves. furthermore, the advice he gives marianne in his support with her is to understand that she doesn’t have to “force [her]self to smile as [her] soul bleeds,” though that is exactly what he does for the majority of the academy phase. in any case, the fact that he chooses to give her this specific advice, of all things, is telling.

Trickster Te

“I do not want you to die a death like that. Not even for the sake of loyalty or duty.”

dimitri struggles with efficiency. his intense loathing of sacrifice, regardless of context, makes it very difficult for him to strategize as a commander the way that edelgard does. his rational side is, for the most part, internal; he uses it for his research, his theorizing, his personal endeavors to obtain more information and better understand his circumstances. but he struggles to apply that same level of cold, hard logic while commanding his troops, especially in battle. this comes up in his support with ingrid, who remarks that any good king innately understands some of his soldiers’ lives must be sacrificed for the greater good. she then proceeds to call dimitri’s ideals soft-hearted, which is as good an encapsulation as any of how his Te compares to edelgard’s. war and battlefields aside, dimitri struggles with being harsh in general, preferring to speak to others in softer, more personal terms rather than being blunt. he translates his Ti findings into “acceptable” Fe terms, except for when he enters a loop and said Fe shuts down. during these phases, dimitri is harsh in a manner far more characteristic of “unfiltered” Ti than it is of unrestrained Te, as he snaps at others to leave him alone more than he is inclined to order them around.

Demon Ni

“Do I have the right to live for myself?”

as soon as dimitri snaps out of his Si-Ti revenge craze, his first instinct is to ask who or what he should live for now. and even after byleth tells him to live for what he believes in, it’s very clear in dimitri’s subsequent supports that “what he believes in” is still fulfilling his duty to his kingdom. the difference is that he now has a healthier conception of said duty, and is finally open to accepting his loved ones’ support. that said, he has never been naturally inclined to follow his more personal desires, plainly admitting that he has rarely — if ever — given his own dreams any thought. furthermore, he struggles considerably with looking toward the future, and is unable to do so without byleth, who needs to physically stop him from looking back and guide him onward in the final cutscene. even at his healthiest, dimitri is a defender of the past. he criticizes edelgard by asking her if she would really force people to “throw their lives away for the future,” and warns her that regardless of how strongly she believes in her vision, the future she creates will be “built on a foundation of tears.” this is because he understands, better than most, just how critical the past can be in any individual’s life.

Conclusion

the internet needs to stop hating Si and just let characters be well-written “and Si” at the same time lol. especially in such obvious, practically textbook cases of high Si. one of the most common arguments against Si dimitri is that his devotion to the past is only caused by his trauma, and “isn’t the real him.” the fact of the matter is, dimitri’s Si manifests in so much more than just his duty to avenge the fallen. it plays a huge role in so many other elements of his personality, as do the other functions that come with being an ISFJ. i’m tired of these implications that Ni is some inherently higher, “healthier” form of being lying under literally any indication of Si, which automatically gets discarded as trauma or something lmao. c’mon guys ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[chichorie]

Hey, your FE:3H fan art is super great! I was actually wondering if you had any bodytype headcanons for any of the characters?

ahhh wow im so glad you think so!!! i’d love to be able to draw everyone on the roster someday, so here’s some of the ways i’d spice everyone up and draw them. this isnt exactly all canon but its my interpretations of the characters.

some spoilers ahead

black eagles:

edelgard is definitely scarred up from the experimentation she went through, but i imagine despite her smaller height she’s pretty muscular. swinging around amyr doesnt seem easy.

normally i’d draw someone like hubert very lanky but i think in his case having a bit of bulk would make him look scarier and more intimidating, which is what he wants, so i’d give him broad shoulders and a wider chest. and i cant decide if he’d have good or pad posture? im leaning on good posture because he’s very dedicated to making edelgard look good. 

caspar is a short king, VERY bulky though.

linhardt is tall, i wouldnt say very lanky but he does have bad posture because he’s always on the verge of falling asleep.

ferdinand is a model noble, so his chest is always puffed out, and he stands very proudly all the time. he just looks very strong.

dorothea is supposed to look like a model, so shes very curvy, and shes very tall too.

bernie is thin and lanky, even though shes pretty tall, probably as a result of the way her father treated her. she looks like she’d fly away in a strong breeze.

petra has a pretty sleek but strong build, since she’s a hunter, the ideal warrior queen image in brigid.

blue lions:

dimitri is big and he pretty much towers over everyone who isnt dedue, i imagine he’s haunched over all the time and his big fluffy cape gives him added Big factor. 

i think dedue is the tallest in the game, and i’d keep his strong, bulky look too because i like the idea that he’s a shield and protector of all his allies. a true gentle giant.

sylvain is hunky and tallish, has a nice chest but skips leg day from time to time.

felix looks pretty small and thin compared to the other guys in the house (not ashe) but hes strong in his own right, it just doesnt really look that way. he’s got strong arms and a good core but his legs are also pretty weak i imagine.

ashe is a TWINK. hes small and thin and unless he goes down a non archer route hes going to stay that way. hes also still got remnants of his troubled, starving past, so he doesn’t bulk up very well. the smallest male blue lion.

mercie is plus sized! shes sweet and warm and i think its perfect for her, especially since she’s a bit older than the others so she doesnt have much growing left to do and her body wont change much more. shes perfect the way she is!

annette is petite, skinny all around but she has a nice silhouette. shes just super cute and easy to pick up.

ingrid is tall and very strong due to her strong work ethic and dedication to training, shes not super ripped because shes usually going to be on a horse or pegasus, but she could knock you down in combat easily. really strong arms.

golden deer:

i can definitely see claude having a bit of pudge in places or being a bit of a hunky bear... or a bearish hunk. no matter what hes very hot. 

hilda is STRONG and has beefy arms but she hides them beneath her sleeves because she wants to look delicate and fragile. even though shes short, do not underestimate this womans muscles. also i think she has the biggest boobs in the game? just an observation that i think is really neat. hilda’s hot.

lorenz is a tall skinny twinkish hunk. but i think most of his chest is attributed to armor he wears to make it seem like hes bigger than he is. 

raphael is the DEFINITION of a bear and a himbo, i dont really need to go over this one, raphael is perfect.

ignatz starts off really twinkish but after the timeskip hes really put in an effort to get stronger, and it shows. he’s got a pretty average body i feel, but its a lot stronger and meatier than he was pre timeskip. and he grew!

leonie is strong, but shes VERY beautiful and people dont really take the time to appreciate how pretty her face and body are. shes a little scarred up from mercenary work but shes got a great build, big boobs, nice thighs that shes showin off, and i love her and you should too. 

marianne is slender, she definitely hides a lot of her body behind her clothes so we don’t really get a look at it, but she’s definitely scared and has bad posture pre timeskip, and has more confidence so she lifts her chin up post timeskip. she’s also pretty average and i dont think much is remarkable about her body. you’d think she’d have a small chest but i think in game her boobs are pretty big? kind of ghastly in general.

lysithea, like edelgard, is scarred up from the experimentation done on her, but unlike edelgard, whose scars i think are more clean and precise from all the time their captors had time to practice and perfect their techniques, lysitheas are from before edelgard’s, so theyre a lot more.. imprecise? experimental? they’re not very pretty and they’re everywhere. but lysithea has always been pretty small, even though she grows a bit post timeskip, shes got a weak, delicate body because shes a glass canon mage and because of her failing health. small chest size, she just looks a little... unwell in general.

i dont really feel the need to go over the church of seiros, but let me know if i should anyway or if you have any of your own headcanons different from mine!!! i’d love to hear any suggestions. :3 thanks so much for asking!!

[confusedinfj]

How to be an fj to fjs

AKA advice for tps on how to stop Fe draining your fj

You'll find this a little less complicated than the *ntp here, so here we go, the

top rules:

Try. Anything goes if you're trying

Don't do something if they already said they don't like it. Maybe you wanna buy then ice cream to cheer them up but they specifically said they hate it when you do that - don't do that. *ntps might want to make a note, cos I know their memory can be NON EXISTENT 😂

Fix the problem. Fjs don't want you to just listen, they don't have Fi. They want you to fix the problem - go ahead, Ts!

Add emotional drama to the fj's words - even if they're saying it calmly, they're very upset.

Look at the fj when they're speaking. Your fj will take you looking around as a sign to shut up.

Don't cut in and start telling a random story, even if you think it's relevant. Mbs you can tell it later - but Fe generally doesn't like hearing about how you've had it worse, so keep those stories to yourself.

Don't just give up when you feel like you're failing or can't fix the problem. Your fj wouldn't quit on you.

Don't tell the fj to go start a fight with the person who upset them. If they thought it would work they would have done it, believe it or not.

Don't start a fight on behalf of your fj. Fjs don't need you to stick up for them, and if they do they'll ask.

However, if you're viewing people having a go at your fj while you're literally RIGHT THERE you are welcome to throw shade. Just a little. Just back off if your fj looks at you pointedly.

Notes for the tps

Would not recommend buying presents to fix a problem you caused - this strikes fjs as manipulative most of the time. Fix the problem first

Learn to give an fj apology. That's right, you can't just go from A (I'm sorry) to B (pls forgive me?) to C (friends again!) with fjs. They're all about INTENT. ACTUALLY, tps, just take this advice and use it with everyone. Skip to the solutions advice.

Read this whole post 😂

Remember how you feel when you're a little down, or even just happy and/or in love. This is the fj all the time 😂 Don't worry, they have a better handle on their Fe than you do 😋

Try to picture yourself in the same situation, with the fj playing your role. This will help you work out what to do 95% of the time.

Flipping listen.

What is my fj feeling?

Fj emotions are deep, and they usually have a pretty chill equilibrium. If you get them to either extreme, they will take about an hour at least to go back to normal. This means that if your fj is screaming at you at 9 and then you apologise and they're all chill again at 9.30, they're still upset. They've just given up on you. They haven't properly processed their emotions, because they don't feel like there was a proper resolution to the argument. Skip to the solutions advice.

If you apologise and then your fj still ignores you for an hour in their room, don't go back in their and complain I JUST APOLOGISE WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN - *coughs* tps *cough*. Your fj is accepting your apology. That's what it looks like. They just need to fj themselves and then they'll be good and they'll likely forget about the problem a week later.

That's right, fjs forget problems once they've been dealt with. If your fj can remember a transgression, you never dealt with it properly. Fjs don't hold grudges, but they remember who they can and can't trust with their own feelings.

If your fj is calm looking, this means nothing. If your fj speaks calmly, this means nothing. If your fj is beginning to crack, times it by 1,000 to understand how upset they are. Back off.

If your fj is telling you there is a problem, there is a problem. Not a huge one, but listen. The fj will give you straightforward steps to follow - no worries.

If your fj is telling you there is a BIG problem, you have deeply hurt the fj and must fix it quickly. You must follow the fj's steps or come up with your own - see the SOLUTIONS advice.

If your fj is quiet, they could legit just be happy. You can test it by telling them a dumb story. If they don't laugh and look more annoyed, they're upset with you. You will need to work out why. Chances are they already told you, but anyway... Skip to WHAT DID I DO advice.

Don't accuse your fj of giving the silent treatment. They only go silent when they're really upset or feel like you're just arguing with them. It's not the silent treatment because it's not done to manipulate you.

If your fj is genuinely arguing with you (not just discussing), this is not a good place. They are really mad or upset, and you will need to read the SOLUTIONS advice.

If your fj is yelling/screaming at you, you are probably a Tp. An *ntp specifically. You should really know what's wrong, but you don't, so skip to TI TRIGGERED advice. You have probably broken the fj's heart at this point 💔

If your fj is hitting/throwing things and otherwise being erratic, they have run out of ways to explain their problem and you will need to commence FJ REBOOT. Good luck.

If your fj is crying, they are extremely upset. Fjs never show you crying unless you've really hurt them (or someone else has). Skip to FJ REBOOT advice.

If your fj is obsessed with tidying up and getting upset by mess, the problem is actually you. Fix the mess, then skip to SOLUTIONS advice.

If your fj is withdrawing and hiding, leave them alone. They don't know what's going on, and are likely to start a fight with you if you push them. They don't want that.

If your fj withdraws but occasionally comes out and snaps at you (nice to know you wanna know what's upsetting me!), they actually want you to fix them. You may commence FJ REBOOT steps

If your fj says they hate you or something, they want to. Maybe the even do. But their Fe is strong, so don't be scared you can never win them back. You just have to Fe nurture them for once - read the solutions advice and be kind.

Solutions

After you've tidied up any obvious problems (like mbs your mold sculpture in the middle of the kitchen), it's time to fix your RELATIONSHIP with the fj.

That's right, especially tps, you're not fixing the problem. Otherwise composting the mold sculpture and disinfecting the kitchen would be enough - your argument is valid.

You need to fix the damage you did to the fj - and the first step is

Acknowledge its not just ONE THING. Looking at Tps again - your fj is not experiencing emotional trauma just because you built a mold sculpture. That just pushed them over the edge. You're going to need to think through everything the fj has ever complained about and contemplate if you're still doing those things, or if you never actually apologised for them. To the fj, your mold sculpture probably hurt them more because you completely disregarded the fact that they spent 2 hours mopping the kitchen floor, and also that they have a life long phobia of mold and sculptures. Maybe it's more about the fact they specifically asked you to do it outside and you were like 'yup!' and then forgot, so they feel ignored. IT'S ALWAYS BIGGER. fjs never get upset over small things.

You must apologise. Having come up with the bigger offence in your mind, you must now apologise for it (hopefully you're correct. If not, the fj will probably correct you. DO NOT argue about how you've never DONE THAT. JUST APOLOGISE). So how does an fj apology go? It's about intent, so it goes something like: 'Hey, fj, I'm really sorry I built a mild statue in your kitchen right after you cleaned it and right before your parents came over. I cleaned up the mess, and I won't do it again (don't say this if you plan to). You must feel like I completely ignored you, and I'm sorry, because I kind of did. I'll listen next time. Can I do anything to make up for it?' Then you either do what's recommended (unlikely to be anything interesting) or leave without begging for forgiveness or arguing about why the fj should forgive you. Ew.

If you have done something so bad that these steps don't fix the problem (like maybe you blew up the house while building the model sculpture, idk) you need to do something to at least symbolically fix the problem - something that shows the fj you're willing to sacrifice things for them. Like maybe you could sell your Ferrari and buy them a new house without a mold sculpture, or if you don't have a Ferrari you could help them by sorting out the house insurance so they can buy a new one... (idk, I was coming up with these examples in the spot). Even if it's not directly symbolic, your fj will appreciate the EFFORT. Remember, it's not about fixing the problem, it's about showing the fj you care for them too.

What did I do

First, I am appalled you don't remember. The fj almost certainly told you, multiple times. So think about it - has the fj told you something recently? Maybe you thought it was a joke or just a suggestion... Review those.

After review, suggest the problem to your fj. Not like 'are you upset because I keep falling asleep when you talk to me?' because that sounds like you're making stuff up, more like 'it must be really upsetting when I fall asleep while you're talking - I'm really sorry' then follow solutions advice. The fj will either tell you you're right or tell you what you did wrong at this point. It's really not that complicated.

Don't scream 'I don't know what I did wrong, WOULD YOU TELL ME WHAT I DID ALREADY, YOU PSYCHO!?' at your fj. This is another thing you have done wrong haha. Following these steps will always work, unless you have an fj mistype on your hands, in which case everything will be so much worse 😂

Ti triggered

When you've Fe drained your fj and they have nothing left to give, it's personal. How can you tell if it's personal? When they're normal Fe users to everyone BUT YOU *GASP*. And they're not talking about your problems anymore.

Give some Fe/Te love back. Play the role of fj for a while. Give them a good FJ REBOOT.

Don't try to trigger their Fe for you. They're done with you specifically, you need to energise them by giving your own Fe back (or Fi, whatever, just be kind basically).

Be warm. Think warm thoughts about them and they'll feel them - high fe works like that

Be intentional about helping the fj emotionally. Tps, it's not about fixing the PROBLEM. That attitude will significantly slow your efforts down.

Take care of stuff and take the fj out for fun stuff if you can. Otherwise do fun stuff with them at home, or watch TV or something.

Just to be clear, these steps are to repeated over a long period of time. However, it is possible to un-Ti trigger an fj quickly with the correct attitude, but you'd have to be completely focused on the fj as a person and not fixing the fj...

Fj reboot

Designed to fix stressed or a little upset fjs. A good place to start after the SOLUTIONS advice if you've got a really big problem on your hands 😉

Hug your fj. If they push you away hug tighter. If they verbally tell you off, back off.

Be affectionate to your fj - physcisly, verbally, the whole thing,as long as it's genuine.

Be happy and genuine. But not inconsiderately happy (HHAHAA YOUR GRANDMA DIED HAHAHA!)

Make sure the fj has a tidy, calm environment. This is probably enough to fix a stressed fj.

Take your fj out somewhere fun - basically just anywhere if you're happy haha. If possible, don't include other people if you're trying to heal your own relationship with the fj - they separate people in their mind, and while they might be happy with the others, they can still be hurt by you. So isolated times are best. Otherwise, people it up if the fj wants 😂

Buy your fj a present if it seems natural, don't force this.

Watch TV or do something quiet with your fj.

Talk about feelings if your fj wants to. Not super likely, but very helpful if the fj decides it's necessary. Full eye contact and actual verbal input required. Don't talk abiut your own feelings and stuff, it's just one day if you do this right

Your fj should be all good after this, in which case, you can sit on your new skills for about 6 months+ unless you're a young tp still hating on your Fe, in which case 2 weeks tops till you use it again 😂 (this is a joke haha)

Specifically tps, be a tp. Not a mean, argumentative tp, the strangely affectionate tp you can be. Don't see tired Ti in your fj and give them more ti, give them your Fe. It's strange and warm, and the fj loves it. (Not pointing out other types like Tjs cos they probably fixed their fj in five minutes haha).

[anajenna]

My FE 3 houses experience

I figured since I love this game and enjoy reading what other people have to say about it I'd post something of my own. So far I've finished 3 of the 4 routes (I'm doing golden deer next.)

The way I played this game was pretty atypical basically I started with the blue lions because I felt like I shared similar views with dimitri. If I were byleth this would be the canon route. The more I played the route the more I thought you know I'm gonna be pretty sad if something bad happens to dimitri in the other routes. [Spoilers by something bad I mean getting murdered.] I had this thought when I was on chapter 5 and I thought I think I need to rip the bandaid off and find out what happens to him in the other routes. Maybe by knowing it will make it easier to stomache besides there's a chance he lives in the other routes right? Nope.

Turns out finding out did not help and just made me feel uneasy about playing the other routes. So I decided before I get even more invested in this character I'll play the other routes first. I did that sort of... First I played Edelgards route then the church route then I started the golden deer route but the suspense was killing me. I was dieing to know what happened to Dimitri during the time skip. So I continued my blue lions playthrough promising myself that I'd play it again after doing the golden deer. I figure in my final playthrough I'll do the new game plus recruit everyone so I dont have to fight them and make an all star team of my favorite characters.

Honestly I'm really glad I played both of the black eagle routes first because it made me more sympathetic towards Edelgard and I felt like it enriched the story for me when playing the blue lions. I feel like a lot of the things Dimitri was saying to Edelgard was what I was thinking when doing her route. I dont think starting a war is the solution and I was pretty upset that Edelgard hardly put any effort in talking to Dimitri and Claude before burning the bridge between them. I appreciated the fact that we could spare Claude. I mean I get that since claude is more easygoing the option is more realistic. Still though the way Dimitri is handled in Edelgards route is deppressing. He's trying not to lose his kingdom and he's mad at edelgard though he's mistaken about something's he's upset at her for I still think some of his anger is justified considering that she was planning to start a war the whole time and had no interest in talking to him. I mean he cares so much about her and I dont really see that being reciprocated. The way she kills him is really cold just dismissing him as delusional and then using her axe to finish him off. I mean yeah I get that it's hard to reason with him given how upset he is but just seeing some effort put in like it was in the blue lions route would've been nice in my opinion.

Overall I think this is the best fire emblem game I've ever played. I look forward to playing the golden deer route and I figure it will answer whatever the other routes didnt cover and neatly wrap things up. As of now the Blue lions route is my favorite. I love stories about people who rise up from the depths of despair. I also prefer character driven stories and I think they did a great job showing Dimitris growth as a character. I think the beauty of this game is that there is no canon or correct route whatever route speaks to you the most can be your canon route. At the same time it does kind of make me sad because I want everyone to be happy but in a way it's realistic not everyone gets along and you cant save everyone. Some people are too stubborn and set in there ways and there's just nothing you can do. This game really made me think a lot about war and how good and evil is not black and white. Everyone's fighting for what they believe in. Ignorance does not make a person evil but being close minded and stubborn can lead to acts of evil.

10 out of 10. Buying the seasons of warfare edition was worth it.

[wirika125-blog]

Morocco Travel Information

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Testing Morocco Food

Eating couscous and tagline:

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[funkymbtifiction]

[answered asks for the week]

INSIDE:

Hy! Can you pls give more examples how the types looks like as a child?

Is this related to a loop or inferior function?

When Enneagram 1 goes to 4, would that look like sensitivity to criticism, moodiness, brooding?

Could you compare enfp 4w3 and 4w5 ( both) so/sp?

i’m 90% sure that i’m an ISTJ, but sometimes i don’t feel that way.

Recently you said it might be difficult to determine enneagram type before mid thirties.

I haven’t been able to find any information on 1w2 ENFJ.

when we are teenagers we are developing our least favourite function right?

Hi. I was hoping you can help me. I figured out a pattern of mine that I would imagine is probably either a loop or my inferior function, because it is me when I am at my lowest point and am most unlike myself. I know what makes me fall into this pattern, now that I am older. However, whenever I fall into this pattern I have a hard time pinpointing what functions might be responsible for it. 

I am usually an optimistic person. I am usually upbeat and can always turn a negative situation into a positive one by finding something positive about that particular situation, or something upcoming that I am really excited about. When someone is sad about a situation, I can explain why it’s not so bad and then get them to think optimistically. It is what makes me charming, bubbly and an overall good presence. It is rare when I fall into a slump, but when I do this optimism disappears completely. I get extremely negative minded. Like this morning, one of my closest friends told me “Why are you being so pessimistic?” And I know why. It is always the same story…

I really like having a simple lifestyle. By that, I do not mean I do not care about good food, company, and good stimuli to keep me excited. I am all about aesthetics. But what I mean is I rather make a modest living than work long hours, wasting life. I like to work minimal hours so I can enjoy this short life we have been given. I don’t like to take life seriously. I like to just live in the moment, day by day, and absorb the present. Every hour at its rawest form. But when my boss gives me ridiculous hours or I feel this time is taken away from me by obligations like even funerals or upcoming prayer events, I begin to flip out. It’s rare because I purposely chose a job that prioritizes hours for friends, family, and fun instead of work. But obligations happen and when they happen I can’t enjoy the moment anymore. I keep thinking of that obligation and how

But when I see these dates where I won’t have time for any of that sporadically appear in my calendar… every task becomes so tedious. I feel like every chore inside my house or outside of my house is ridiculous, including something so simple like vacuuming and I cannot live in the present like I want to. I keep living in that moment where I have to do this chore. I have to do this obligations. And then I get lost and everyone around me senses something different. They get pissed at me because I’m so damn negative.

I feel like if I can understand the functions responsible maybe I can direct myself to changing this pattern. Again. It’s so rare but when it happens, it’s really bad.

The bolded is high Se. You’re an SFP. Given your obvious Enneagram 7 core type (the need to be free of obligation and able to do whatever you want / live in the moment and be spontaneous – feeling trapped when too much closes in on you) I’m guessing you’re an ESFP, and these “I feel trapped and no longer able to enjoy the moment” days are Ni-gripping (unable to think in the present, just ahead to things you are not looking forward to).

You can counter this by one of two ways, or both:

1) Doing something at the end of the day that brings you back into Se. Something aesthetic that returns you to THE PRESENT. It might be Yoga. It might be a back rub. It might be laying in the tub for two hours and reading a book by candlelight. Something sensory. Something NOW.

2) Have something to look forward to on the other side of your obligations, so you are not thinking about the days you have to do things, but that fun thing you get to do on the weekend. It may be something you planned, or the decision to live in the moment on that day and be impulsive all day long. But 7′s need fun things to look forward to, when they have a lot of “commitment”-related things sucking up their energy. So, look ahead in a positive way and not just a negative one. :)

When enneagram one goes to four would that look like sensitivity to criticism, moodiness, brooding? I know a few people like that who are normally pretty immune to taking things to personally but at times can seem quite sensitive. They also have the best sense of humor and are playful at their best. Thanks

Yes.

The important thing to remember with disintegration is that the person has all the negative attributes of the number they are moving into, but none of the positive ones. So a 1 moving to 4 is melodramatic, woe is me, nobody understands me, nobody appreciates me, I’m all alone and unloved, nobody loves me, fuss, fuss, fuss… with none of 4′s authenticity, seek for deep internal meaning, or ability to understand and process intense emotions on a deep level.

Moving into integration would also mean taking on the positive attributes of 7 without the negative ones – so the 1 would become more happy, playful, and optimistic, seeing the best in people instead of what needs fixed.

Could you compare enfp 4w3 and 4w5 ( both) so/sp?

Ignore your MBTI type and just focus on what 3 and 5 bring to the 4, and how that would change it.

3 is extroverted, wants to win, has confidence in their look, is centered around success.

5 is introverted, fearful of getting things wrong by acting too prematurely, protects self by falling into knowledge, tends to fantasize.

4w3 therefore is more outgoing, flamboyant, bigger with their feelings, more dramatic, and yet cares more how people see them because of the 3. They often are fashionable and image-conscious – because the “is this authentic to me” 4 is being pulled at by the “but do I make an amazing impression” 3 wing.

4w5 is more introverted and more inclined to intellectualize their feelings, more secretive about everything (because 5 is a little fearful of how you may use things against it if you know too much), doesn’t care nearly as much how other people respond to them in terms of their overall presentation.

Since 3 is optimistic and ‘can’ do, it makes for a lighter, more colorful 4 – optimistic about the future and able to carve a niche out or trend-set. 5 brings a level of internal focus to a 4 and often becomes ‘dramatic’ or ‘withdrawn’ – there’s more of an emphasis on morbidity whenever a 5 is involved.

hi! i was wondering if you could help me with my type. i’m 90% sure that i’m an ISTJ, but sometimes i don’t feel that way. i feel that ISTJs are often depicted as cold or unfeeling, but i am definitely a kind person - generally to everyone, and especially to those i love. i can get into a “Te mode” but it isn’t constant. but i’m definitely not Fe, and i make decisions based on logic. and of course mbti can’t show my entire personality, so could enneagram could provide clarification? thanks!

My father once told me that you can’t take everything at face value, you have to look at where someone is coming from. So, if there are somewhat cold and inaccurate depictions of ISTJs in fiction, what does that tell you about the writer? They are not an ISTJ. Most likely they are an IXFP or a high Fe user, who does not understand how TeFi works, so they wind up with a stereotype of what their own low Te would be like higher in the stack (inaccurate, because healthy high Te is instinctively professional and knows how to work with people) or they think about people they have clashed with and use them for inspiration.

That aside, most ISTJs are not cold or unfeeling. They care very deeply – they just do not waltz around with their feelings on full display and feel no need to draw excessive attention to them. They show their love through Te ways – often doing kind things for others rather than gushing. Any type can be kind and I know a fair few thinkers in general who are kind, gentle, and accommodating. But their brains still process information through their specific cognitive stack, making them thinkers.

It is possible that you have a compliant Enneagram tritype, yes. A 9 or a 2 or a 6 or all three would make you a much softer and warmer ISTJ than an ISTJ with a “cold” Enneagram tritype.

Recently you said it might be difficult to determine enneagram type before mid thirties. I am curious how long we take to develop a type of that’s how it works. I could see a type 9 develop when their efforts to deal with issues are blown off. Over time they may avoid conflict? Is that possible?

It’s not that as a child, you lack an Enneagram type, but that at 35 you have enough life experience to look back on your accumulated mistakes and see what it is that you are truly afraid of or running away from. Your defense mechanisms. The younger a person is, the more arrogant they tend to be. It’s life that kicks you between the teeth and teaches you things. Like, no matter how good you are, there’s always someone better than you. Or that you can’t keep running away from your problems and expect things not to catch up to you. Or that sooner or later, you have to leave your comfort zone and get a job. Or that “perfection” does not exist. By 35, hopefully you will have gained some perspective and enough humility not to sugarcoat your flaws. That’s Richard Rohr’s reasoning – take it or leave it, it’s up to you.

There’s theories about how you develop your core type based on your parents and how you felt and what you dealt with as a child. I’m not sure whether to believe that as true or not – often, for example, the 6 profiles talk about the child growing up in an unsafe environment and an unstable home. I had a safe home, never experienced anything traumatic, and excellent parents who never fought. I never felt threatened. I just inexplicably developed 6 traits. But I could also flip it around and say that I was so dependent on my loving and generous parents that the outside world became an intimidating, dangerous place.

They say that 9′s develop in a volatile environment where they have to ignore an abusive parent in order to cope – but out of all the 9′s I know (and I know at least 5 in real life), that’s true for only one of them. One 9 I know developed in a house without much strife at all. She just decided to be in her own little world.

I suspect like all things, it’s a combination of preferred tendencies and possibly the environment. Like a little 9 child being happy and sweet and wanting to see everything with a rosy glow and then when faced with the harsh realities of life in the real world – choosing to stick with that happy, sweet place, because it’s much nicer than the cold truth. Or the little 1 child feeling better when her room is organized, like that’s something she can control in her world. Or the 2 being instinctively helpful and generous. Etc.

In short, I don’t think anybody knows where or why these things develop. There’s no actual proof Enneagram exists. It’s just a theory that we treat as the truth, because human beings want to know why people are not all the same, so they look for patterns and explanations… and this seems as valid as any other. ;)

I haven’t been able to find any information on 1w2 ENFJ. Would you be willing to explain how they might differ from the bubbly ENFJ stereotype we often hear about? Thanks!!

It’s the ESFJs (and the ESFJs mistyped as ENFPs ;) that bring a bubbliness to Fe-doms – Ni being a very straightforward, “colder” function (paired with Se) does not lend itself to Ne-ish enthusiasm. It’s more serious and driven (Obama, Neil deGrasse Tyson, etc).

That being said, an ENFJ 1w2 would develop narrow, specific idealistic beliefs about how to improve the world and set about determined to make those visions a reality. They would not shy away from conflict but be assertive in expressing their views (because the world and others need to behave themselves). Anytime you get a high Fe paired with a 1 fix, there’s often a focus on needing the outer world to get in line and agree with the FJ’s moral principles. The 2 wing lends a forgiving air and the desire to serve others, which does soften the 1 somewhat but makes them shy less away from stating their views (Fe-dom + 1) than a 1w9.

Depending on the health level and maturity of the ENFJ involved, this corrective mentality would be warm and approachable but also sure of what it wants and constantly pushing self and others toward a higher ideal (healthy) or judgmental, a perfectionist, rigid, and have completely unrealistic expectations for self and others (Ni + 1) (unhealthy).

Ok, so I have two questions but first I would like to say that I love this page and I'm really glad I found it anyways, 1) when we are teenagers we are developing our least favourite function right? So, when you type characters in movies that are teens do you use that information? And 2) (has nothing to do with the first question) I discovered my functions and that I'm in an Se-Fe loop (or Fe-Se) but I can't figure if I'm ENFJ or ESTP, do you have any tips on finding my aux? Or at least my type

Typically as a teenager you’re starting to grow into your second function, the third usually kicks in around 20 but doesn’t fully develop until later in life; your inferior function (your least favorite) takes decades to come into balance with your dominant.

I treat teens like any other character – I type them based on their motives, behavior, and blind spots. I also type kids the same way, even though technically they’re too young to type. But a good writer can be consistent enough in their writing to show a child as a complete character, complete with blind spots. (Mike in Stranger Things being a FeNi, for example, out of touch with inferior Ti.)

Which one of your functions is weaker? Which one are you using in a slapdash manner? Which one do you make the most mistakes with? Fe-doms are highly in tune with other people and their feelings at all times; they feel what others feel, they want to control the emotional environment (as judging types), and they prioritize and comprehend people’s feelings in a way no tert-Fe can even begin to emulate. Tert-Fe feels guilt sometimes for causing strife but is largely out of touch with people and their feelings, and their own feelings – which they tend to analyze rather than understand. Se-dom is much more competent in knowing the right opportunities to leap onto to make things happen or shift them in a direction that solves the immediate problem than low Se, which miscalculates, over-estimates its ability (and proves itself wrong), and makes foolish knee-jerk decisions.

A good rule of thumb is to ask yourself: when I use this function, does it make the situation BETTER / resolve the problem or cause more problems (because I handle it clumsily)?

So, lower Se = leaps into action desperate to make something happen, makes the wrong choice, causes more problems.

Lower Fe = tries to handle the emotional atmosphere, only causes greater pain / misunderstandings / founders around trying to find solid footing, leads to more hurt feelings and miscommunications.

Hy! Can you pls give more examples how the types looks like as a child? (I mean, you said they using just 1-2 function, how does this  manifest in real life?)

Already did that here. And here.

How much do you type yourself based on childhood you? How can you tell enneagram types of a child?

Overall? 10 percent. Examine it to see what still lingers in your personality and if it matches, you have a consistent pattern. But type yourself as an adult, over 18.

I recommend not Enneagram typing until you’re over 20 years old (ideally, 35). Childhood incidents may provide a basis of BEHAVIOR, but until you are old enough to consciously evaluate your motives / fears, you won’t know why you acted that way. Enneagram is all about how you react to situations (by protecting your image – heart type; by withdrawing in fear – head type; or by instant gut reactions and anger – gut type). The older you are, the more evidence you have of how you have “made mistakes” – which leads you to your E type / variants.

- ENFP Mod

[clanmccrackengaming]

Chapter 12

With Edelgard firmly ensconced as the new Emperor, she declare s war on the Church of Serios. Her massed force will be at the monastery within the month, so I must prepare. Seteth joined our ranks as a full member of my house, but he came with none of his earlier classes mastered. He took the test for Soldier, while Hilda took Fortress Knight, Raphael took Brawler, and Flayn took Bishop. Everyone passed.

Week 1: Exploring

Nothing out of the ordinary. Ingrid won the lance tournament.

Assignment

Edelgard and her imperial forces have attacked Gareg Mach! In the West, South, and East there are reinforcement points that will continually spawn mobs until their guard is defeated. The west is guarded by Hubert, who just sits there. The East one is guarded by The Death Knight, who will advance on my position at once, and the South one seems to be guarded by Edelgard herself, who seems to sit there for most of the battle. Its either a set number of turns she waits, or she waits till someone gets close, but in either case towards the end of the battle, she started moving up north with her forces.

To help augment my forces, Hanneman and Manuela, as well as 4 other NPCs help to protect Rhea. As protecting Rhea is my main objective I appreciate the help. After Lysithea (of course) took out the Deathknight Catherine joined the battle, and when I took out Hubert Shamir joined as well.

This was a very tough battle, even with all of the Divine pulses i had unlocked It took every single one of them to get through this battle. Even with them, though, it didn’t help me save everyone. And I am so mad at my self for letting this happen, because it was easily avoidable, but I lost Lorenz during the last turn of the map.

I didn’t like him very much, but he deserved better than this

for the duration of the battle, Lorenz was stationed at the magical turret near Rhea. He took shots any anyone in range and was crucial in my defeating a couple of the named commanders. I had intended to move him out of range of the Pegasus Knights that were accompanying Edelgard but I completely forgot that he was exposed and I was too eager to drop Edelgard and finish the map. I passed my turn without thinking and Lorenz paid the price for it. I am sorry, Lorenz. In the next life, I hope you have a better haircut.

I am legit suprised that Lysithea didn’t get MVP. She took out both DK and Edel. 

With Rhea successfully defended, we are shown a Cut-scene that proves that the last level was completely pointless. Even though I successfully defended Rhea and drove back Edelgard she brings in her second wave. Rhea in an effort to protect me, turns into a dragon! But even that isn’t enough to turn the tides. I step in to save her, and get knocked into a hole.

Overview

Levels gained this chapter: 9

Unsat levels: 3

Lost Lorenz due to my own mistakes.

FE Golden Deer Maddening: Chapter 12 Chapter 12 With Edelgard firmly ensconced as the new Emperor, she declare s war on the Church of Serios.