#we can give them subtext. we can give them life in fic.

[anistarrose]

The thing about the Heart Attack segment in Wonderland is that they put so much aromantic subtext in it. They accidentally put SO much aromantic subtext in it, on behalf of multiple characters, and I'm thinking about it constantly. Let me tell you all about it.

Magnus is dropped into a dating game and literally leads with "I cannot stress enough how uninterested I am in this." Now, it's perfectly valid to read this as due to him waiting for Julia, or just him being plain old uncomfortable with having his love life put in the spotlight. However! I cannot stress enough the exchange that happens just a minute or two after that line:

Magnus (describing his ideal date): ... and we don't see each other again, ‘cause I'm really not interested in dating. Audience: [exaggerated] Oooooh! (cheers) Griffin: The silhouette is like, fanning itself. Lydia: Playing hard to get, huh? It seems like our contestant is into that.

And I just have to say: unfortunately, this is one of the most aromantic fucking experiences I've seen represented in fiction in my life. I mean — saying you're not interested in romance, then having those words twisted on you, like they're some secret coded way of saying that you are interested in romance? Not having a single way to express your disinterest that'll actually be believed? That's some aro shit right there. God. Fuck.

As an aside, it's enough to really tell that Heart Attack is not designed to be a reprieve from the pain, even though it's the "good outcome" of Trust or Forsake. It's designed to be uncomfortable. To funnel suffering to Edward and Lydia, just like all the other games do. (More on that later, in fact.) But in summary:

Magnus is a character who can be read as uncomfortable with romance for either aro-spec reasons or unrelated reasons. But in either case, his discomfort attracts reactions that reek of amatonormativity — and therefore, resonate with aromantic experiences. (Psst, I did recently write a gray-aro Magnus fic!)

Two more analyses below the cut (and only one of them is for another Horny Boy):

Obviously the next character I need to talk about is Merle. I've found aroallo readings of his character to be compelling for a long time (having sex with plants so you don't have to worry about romantic commitment, am I right?), but the way he describes his "ideal date" is another factor:

Merle: I volunteer to drive her vehicle, and tell her it's filthy, and so we go through the uh- drive through vehicle wash and she pays for that too. Um, and then I take her to have dinner with my family, and- Magnus: Wait, like your wife and stuff? Merle: She meets my ex-wife.

Merle's probably exaggerating as a joke, continuing on about both him and his partner being miserable, but I think the fact that Merle's mind goes here is genuinely drawing from a lot of poor romantic experiences in the past. He didn't get a choice about being on Heart Attack, and his marriage with Hecuba was similarly "arranged".

It's also worth noting that at this point in time, Merle is putting in the work to be part of Mavis and Mookie's lives again, but is not interested in doing the same for Hecuba — he instead just asks Mavis how Hecuba's doing. That said, given that Magnus is the one to put the focus on Merle's ex-wife, I think it's fair to read the "family" comment as Merle actually expressing that he'd rather spend time with his kids than give any special romantic attention to his date. Moving on to the rest of the "joke":

Merle: She's having a miserable time and she's really mad, she can't wait to get outta there. I take her back to her house, and so I lean up against the door jam and say, 'Sure you don't want me to come in for a few minutes?' and she slams the door in my face.

It's possible Merle just has a more roundabout, self-deprecating way of expressing a similar thing to what Magnus did: Merle just isn't interested in dating. To me, the last line implies he might not say no to sex, if offered — but overall, it reads as if Merle is putting minimal effort in because he's looking for an excuse to get out of this relationship anyway.

It's also possible that Merle's "rejection" of a suitor being so disguised as humor could point to him still coming to terms with his disinterest in dating. Particularly, in comparison to Magnus, who is so vocal and unashamed about it, while Merle might still be figuring this all out.

(Honestly, the self-deprecation Merle turns to here is actually kind of sad, when viewed in that light — he already lets himself be the butt of jokes so often, and now he feels like the way romance doesn't click for him has to be a joke, too? Oof. Someone give him a hug and tell him he's not broken this instant!) But regardless:

Merle views dates, and perhaps romance in general, as things that will inevitably turn disastrous for him and any party involved with him, and he would rather spend time with his children than repairing a relationship with an ex, or cultivating a relationship with a new partner. This is not an experience exclusive to the aro-spec umbrella, but you can't say that an aromantic reading of his character doesn't fit him like a gardening glove...

...which he wears while fucking his plants. Because plants don't demand emotional intimacy, nor take too much time away from the platonic relationships that matter more to him. And you know what? He's fucking valid for that! Fly your flag, nasty grandpa!

But moving on: I promised you aromantic analysis of characters outside of our protagonists, and henceforth, that analysis I will provide. And not just because I admittedly see Taako as the token alloromantic (though clearly an aro ally; if he hadn't chosen Forsake we wouldn't have gotten all this incredible characterization!)

I digress. So let's go on to addressing the lich twins in the room: Edward and Lydia.

Remember my argument earlier that Heart Attack serves the purpose of collecting suffering just like the rest of Wonderland does? How it's just a subtler way of making Wonderland's victims fundamentally uncomfortable?

...Using, of all things, romance?

How the vogue twins, for whatever reason, felt inspired to make people uncomfortable with matchmaking and adoration? How, some way or another, they noticed how much potential romance had to induce suffering? Being pressured into a relationship, being told that no matter how firmly you say you're uninterested, you're not really uninterested?

...Relatedly, I have always gotten the sense that Edward and Lydia projected relentlessly onto their victims.

Edward: This resolve, this desire to do whatever it takes no matter the cost to save yourselves — do you know who you three remind me of? Magnus: No? Merle: Who? Edward: Us!

I'm even going to go a step further and say that on top of projection, they want their victims to go through things they went through. Swallowing the guilt of having fucked someone else over to survive, of course — that's basically self-admitted. But possibly also... the feeling of not being able to get back what you lost (Keats). The feeling of being able to heal (Keats).

So, where does that leave Heart Attack?

Lydia: It was the three of us, surviving against all odds. The world against us.

Their family of three was (is) indescribably important to them. I'm not necessarily saying that societal expectations of romance, especially of romance as a priority above that of family, left a bad taste in their mouths — if not downright contributing to their trauma — but, okay, I wrote the rest of this post and now that I'm back, I can no longer deny it. I'm definitely, absolutely saying that.

At the time of the podcast, we know Edward and Lydia's own relationship is heavily strained. Until the end, they are lying to themselves and to each other about the fact that they continue to be emotionally and magically reliant on each other. After all, Lydia wouldn't say "I guess we really needed each other after all" in her dying moments with such surprise otherwise.

This is the second reason that I... well, I wouldn't quite call it a "theory," but I find it most impactful to read Edward and Lydia as characters for whom the concept of Love has baggage. And always has, from their origins as youth in a tough spot in an already amatonormative world.

Maybe the constant societal devaluing of platonic, familial bonds left them with serious emotional scars. Maybe the constant conflation of Love and morality just weighed on them and weighed on them and weighed on them until they decided: well, we don't love the way people expect us to, so we might as well give up on being the good people they expect us to be. We might as well embrace this new fuel of suffering.

...And you know, I hope this gets across what I mean when I always say I headcanon villains as aromantic to make them more sympathetic.

Edward and Lydia, textually, are already tragic villains. As twins and liches, they're also textually foil characters to several of the Seven Birds. But I also like to think that they have a lot in common with Magnus and Merle, and the possibility that tugs at my heartstrings the most is the possibility of them all falling under the aromantic umbrella.

[saintsenara]

Ooh more about the subtext around James/Sirius? I’ve always read the text this way too!

thank you for the ask anon!

this question could have been prompted by any number of posts i’ve made, because i am a great proponent of the idea that unrequited prongsfoot is canon. 

why?

i’m so glad you asked…

let’s begin with a small caveat which - regrettably - involves some engagement with discourse.

the things created within fan-fiction aren’t real - an individual fic can’t cause actual, material harm to a reader, even if it contains tropes that would be harmful or distressing if they happened in that reader’s real life; an author’s use of certain tropes or interest in certain characters is not indicative of their actual morals and values in real life; thought crimes are not real crimes - but fan-fiction is produced by human beings who are themselves products of the societies and communities in which we all live, and these societies and communities all have flaws and failings.

which is to say, those of us who prefer to read male friendships like james and sirius’ as romantic do need to be aware that, no matter how enlightened on gender and its foibles we think ourselves to be, we are nonetheless influenced as modern humans by a modern tendency to discourage platonic physical and emotional closeness between men, especially straight men, on the grounds that two men having this sort of relationship is inherently queer and, in being queer, implicitly sexual - another powerful societal influence on our thought, even if we know we don’t agree with it. we should also be aware that reading a friendship as defining and life-altering as james and sirius’ as romantic gives weight to a modern tendency to prioritise romantic love - and one of its expected outcomes, the love of parents for their biological children -  over platonic love, and to regard people for whom romantic love is not a priority as not properly having achieved the milestones of adulthood, nor as properly fulfilled, adored, or satisfied.

everything which follows here, then, can be taken to refer just as validly to a purely platonic relationship between james and sirius if the reader prefers. and, indeed, my view is that this is how the canon narrative wants the reader to understand james saw the relationship. 

but i also think that the canonical text wants us to infer that, for sirius, his relationship with james was one of unrequited romantic love.

it must be said, however, that the narrative doesn’t show this explicitly. of course, it emphasises sirius and james’ compatibility, their similar personalities, their shared affection for each other, and a certain element of codependency (the thought of these two boys unable to be apart even for a detention without talking through their mirrors! my heart breaks!), but it also sets up these shared elements as - in some senses - fraternal: sirius is quasi-adopted by the potters; harry thinks of him and james as like fred and george, at least until he sees snape’s memories in order of the phoenix. when sirius speaks to harry about james, the profundity of his love for him is obvious, and on the two occasions when we see them physically together (snape’s worst memory and the prince’s tale) it’s clear that each is the primary driving force behind the other’s decisions. but we have nothing which indicates unambiguously that sirius’ feelings for james were romantic.

until we dive into a bit of narratology. because the text does do something to suggest that its intention is for sirius’ relationship with james to be read as non-platonic, and that something is its use of narrative mirrors. the harry potter series loves assigning its characters to narrative pairs - harry and voldemort are the obvious one; ron and draco malfoy are the one which deserves more attention - and it assigns to sirius a narrative mirror whose own story is one of unrequited romantic love.

severus snape.

sirius and snape are incredibly similar, personality-wise. they also serve identical narrative roles, in that they function as the guides who lead harry through an emotional arc which begins in earnest in prisoner of azkaban and concludes in deathly hallows, in which he sheds his childish, black-and-white view of his parents and comes to regard them as real, flawed, and complex people. harry does this with james in order of the phoenix - after the realisation that he was a bully stops the hero-worshipping which has defined his earlier attitude towards his father - with sirius as his guide (sirius is then killed off the second this narrative sub-arc is complete). he then does it with lily - who spends the earlier books as secondary in importance to james in her son’s mind - in half-blood prince and deathly hallows, in which snape (via the proxies of slughorn, the discipline of potions, his textbook, his patronus, and his memories) serves as his guide, until the fact that lily is the key to the whole mystery is revealed just before harry sacrifices himself to save the world.

in the course of this, it comes to be revealed that each of them considers their life to be defined by their relationship with and love for one half of the pair of james and lily (although the series hides this in snape’s case - making it look as though he is also motivated purely by his antagonistic relationship with james - right up until the last moment). their mirrored relationships with harry - while the idea that sirius is incapable of distinguishing him from his father is an invention of the films - is also driven fundamentally by their relationship with one of the two halves of his parents.

sirius and snape’s mirrored motivation-by-love is shown most clearly in their identical approach to guilt and grief, the two things which overarchingly drive their individual character arcs across the seven-book canon (or three, if you’re sirius - rip king).

both sirius and snape indirectly trigger the death of the person they love - and, let’s be frank, if we’re going to excoriate snape for reporting the prophecy to voldemort, exactly the same level of ire needs to be reserved for sirius and his plan to switch secret keepers (what we could do instead, of course, is recognise the life-altering tragedy of making this kind of mistake, which we all have to hope we never experience ourselves, and treat the lads with compassion) - but it’s clear in canon that neither accepts the idea that their involvement was, in fact, indirect. sirius openly tells harry that he considers himself to have ‘as good as’ cast the killing curse on james and lily; snape rejects dumbledore’s (back-handed) comfort that james and lily’s deaths were caused by ‘putting their trust in the wrong person’ by wishing to die himself.

wracked by guilt and hollowed out by grief, both of them then decide to punish themselves in an effort - one which, i think, they both consider futile, since they clearly regard their sins as too great to be redeemed - to atone for causing james and lily’s deaths. both of them do this by subjecting themselves to the pain and humiliation of imprisonment.

in sirius’ case, obviously, this is literal. we know from canon that he refuses to profess his innocence at any point during his show trial - and why would he, when he considers himself to be guilty? - and that he remains in azkaban for twelve years, despite possessing the means to escape before then. he leaves the prison only to attempt the one action which he thinks will redeem him in james’ eyes: murdering peter pettigrew.

in snape’s case, the prison is a metaphor (foucault just sat up). snape entombs himself both at hogwarts - not a place he seems to have been particularly happy - and in spinner’s end, allows dumbledore to repeatedly humiliate him, and risks his life as a spy as a means of self-flagellation. like sirius, he fails to profess his innocence - through ordering dumbledore to tell nobody of his true allegiance - because he considers himself to be guilty. he leaves the self-constructed cell in which he is skulking only when dead - when harry, who has taken on the burden of fulfilling snape’s atonement himself by preparing to kill voldemort, starts screaming his true motivations in the dark lord’s face - although there is some implication in canon that dumbledore’s intention was for snape to end the series by attempting himself the one action which he thinks will redeem him in lily’s eyes: murdering voldemort.

[after all, why does dumbledore say to harry at king’s cross that his intention was for snape to control the elder wand if he wasn’t hoping he’d use it to give the dark lord his death blow?]

snape and sirius mirror each other exactly in their response to the death of the person they love. we can justifiably assume, then, that we are intended by the text to read that love as identical in type. 

jkr has been very clear that snape’s relationship with lily is one of unrequited romantic love. we obviously don’t have to accept this in our own readings or in the way we write the characters in our own work - i love a queer snape sacrificing everything for his platonic best friend as much as the next girl - but we do have to acknowledge it as the doylist text’s stated intention. it stands to reason, then, that the text’s intention is for us to regard the mirror-image of snape’s love for lily - sirius’ love for james - as romantic as well.

or, unrequited prongsfoot is canon.

[frankingsteinery]

thoughts on elizabeth x justine?

personally i don’t have many strong opinions on it! i don’t think there’s much in the text to support it (and i believe elizabeth refers to justine as her sister when visiting her before her execution if i recall correctly), but i think it could be fun and cute if you enjoy shipping. in general, i do acknowledge and have even analyzed the homoromantic/erotic subtext in frankenstein, but i don’t think it was intentional or intended to be read that way, and while i enjoy engaging in shipping sometimes (and i’ve even written waltonstein fic myself), i think honestly as a whole shipping within the frankenstein fandom tends to detract from the value of the book because people focus on (inventing) romance rather than the themes and commentary that are actually present, and it usually comes at the expense of the actual characterization. i get im complaining about shipping in a fandom space, which is often inherently shippy, but it’s still a bit tiring when the only interest and content/discussion surrounding supporting characters like henry and justine and walton (who IS a narrator and a complex, rounded character! why do we not talk about walton more!) are only ever through romantic relationships with victor, elizabeth or the creature.

i can’t talk much on elizabeth x justine because i haven’t seen too much content of it, but while it isn’t as severe as other fandoms, i do see henry and victor specifically flanderized and reduced into one-dimension tropes when shipped with each other. i get henry wasn’t a rounded character in the first place but he was definitely still flawed (ex. being avoidant about victors issues, never confronting the situation even when something was obviously wrong, etc) and at times even confrontational/chastising—not unkind but chastising (im thinking specifically when henry & victor first reunite at ingolstadt and henry lectures him a little for not having written to them) and i don’t see this written about very much at all, specifically in shipping content where henry is the happy sunshine golden retriever to victor’s black cat or whatever.

i also never really see mentions of henry’s life outside of context of his life revolving around victor if that makes sense, even though shelley goes out of her way to give us a bit of backstory on the clervals, and to establish that he has stuff going on outside of his relationship with the frankensteins. it’s always “henry is sad victor is going away for college and won’t be able to see him” and YES that is absolutely a part of it, but he’s also a dreamer who’s dissatisfied with the career that’s been dictated by his family, the life trajectory set out for him, who advocates for himself and argues with his father to pursue these dreams and get a higher education. he IS optimistic and a deliberate foil + supporting character to victor in a lot of ways, but he was also dissatisfied and upset with the career that had been chosen for him, and it’s implied his relationship with his father is a bit rocky, and, like victor, he could be a bit morose almost—go look in the 1818 novel when clerval is walking victor to the carriage after williams death; it’s quite far from most fanon interpretations of him

overall i think shipping in frankenstein can be entertaining, but i tend to be quite picky and enjoy content that dissects the themes and characters themselves more rather than romance just being the sole focus, and for this reason i tend to stick more to the analysis side of things!

[duchessonfire]

Whatever AU you create I live for it, honestly I'm your biggest fan at this point. Feel free to expand! The abo, supernatural twist, the motherfucking reverse sugar that i did not expect 😂 what kinda dynamic do you envision? Are they overall similar to savior except for some key point or is the energy between cegan completely altered? What are the vibes 🤩

Also! What are you thought on Negan's evolution and can you add your twist as to where do you think Carl can fit in it

(ive never watched dead city and stopped twd years ago coincidentaly right after carl died i keep up a bit with spoilers so i got the gist of it. But from what i can see he's become a fundamentaly different person. Swagger still there but dialed down enough to make me sad 😔 wbu do you keep up? id be impressed if you did cause that's some damn comitmment.

Listen i've been trying to recreate your magic by combining ao3 tags lately but nothing seems to fit! Its the age difference, its the slow burn with what started as someone playing meanly and exerting their power on someone else only to be hit with the feelings 🫢, it's the top tier d/s subtext, its the jealousy and the two step forward one step back, its the smut tbh mostly the smut, simply put it's giving.

And absolutely no rush and dont feel obliged to answer but what kinda irl timeline are you predicting for part 3 and 4 and the neganpov? You've been churning out updates lately (22k high quality chapter within a month; we are spoiled god bless🫂).

I'm frothing at the mouth waiting for your next update. You sincerely bring me joy.

Hi again Cegan lovely! ✨

Thank you so much for this sweet message.

The dynamics of the other Cegan project I have planned will be very much similar to the Savior!Carl universe with Carl and Negan going from enemies to lovers. The only one that is truly different is the reverse sugar daddy AU where I'm going for a Carl that is super shy and vulnerable, really a gifted kid who has trouble connecting with people and who clings to his crush for his former PE teacher for dear life. I'm really excited about those projects even though I have no idea when I'll have time to write them 😅

I am still heavily involved in TWD universe and I have watched the main show until the end, as well as the Daryl Dixon, The Ones Who Live and the Dead City spinoffs. I was very unhappy with Negan's characterization in the last season of TWD but Dead City really brought a breath of fresh air and I'm excited to see what lies in store for Negan in season 2.

So funny thing, part 4 of the Savior!Carl universe will cover Rick's arrival and the war between the Saviors and the other communities, but because I want to stick closely to canon, part 5 will deal with the time Negan spends in the cell and the Whisperer War. So I have in fact plans for Carl and Negan's relationship even after Negan loses his empire. (I'm actually very excited about their new dynamics after that happens ❤️‍🔥 While Negan will go softer, Carl will become a lot harder and more ruthless so that will be pretty amazing to explore...).

I'm so happy that you enjoy the Savior!Carl AU 😍 If you're looking for more Cegan content, I recommend looking at my bookmarks. If you enter Carl Grimes or Negan Smith in the "other work tags to include" section, you will be able to see all my Cegan bookmarks. I especially recommend the fics by Gemjam: Wildflowers and Genesis, which are really the main inspiration behind the Savior!Carl universe, but in my bookmarks you will find loads more of amazing works by amazing writers! Happy reading 📖

So for the time-line, part 3 will finish this summer for sure, hopefully by beginning of July. I will post chapter 10 this week (hopefully today or tomorrow), and then it's only two more chapters to go. The time-line for 4 is a lot blurrier because I still have a lot of brainstorming to do. Same for part 5 and for the Negan's pov. Ideally, I would like the Negan's pov to post at the same time as part 5 because Carl will spend a lot of time away from Negan while he's in the cell, so posting Negan's pov at the same time would still giving readers a healthy amount of Cegan next to the plot of part 5.

Thank you again for such a lovely ask and I hope you have an amazing day 💐😘

[thegreymoon]

Eternal Brotherhood

LMAO, so all their ridiculous posturing in the street was actually a secret code 🤣🤣

They are such idiots 🤣🤣

***

Oh, so Si Yilin is the OTP with Ka Dan?

Interesting and hilarious! I can get behind that!

I like him but she bores me senseless. I've seen people hating on Ning but at least she's funny. Ka Dan has been such a cardboard cut-out so far, it's super hard to relate to her.

***

LMAO, A-Xiu's ridiculous ass dressed up as the princess, didn't it 🤣🤣

***

The assassin is a WOMAN??

Who do we have so far?

Baichuan and A-Xiu's boss? 🤔

I am not happy with either of these choices.

***

LMAO, his constipated ass is already in love as if he had never seen a woman before in his life 🤣🤣

Sorry, Si Yilin, sucks to be you 😂😂

***

Really gorgeous!

Also, Baichuan showing up at the prison is suspicious af, but also looking like a misdirection.

For now, my money is on the boss being the assassin.

***

LMAOOO, Ka Dan escaped 🤣🤣

Looking forward to more of her trickery!

***

When does she start using her brain, though?

Or is she going to wait for Si Yilin to rescue her after she betrayed his trust and escaped?

***

She was seriously intending to slit her own throat??

And here my stupid self thought that she was conning them into giving her the knife so that she could murder them 😑😑

And of course, it was Si Yiling who had to save her, smh.

I can't stand her.

***

LMAOOOOO, he's an idiot and there is no woman, but, girl, you really need to grow some standards 🙄

***

Facepalming forever 🤦‍♀️

What I can't figure out yet, though, is whether he's subconsciously self-sabotaging or if he is deliberately trying to make himself as obnoxious to her as possible because he thinks nothing good can come out of her loving him.

***

He's been shot by an arrow through the chest but let's worry about her spraining an ankle, smh.

***

And now he has to carry her despite the arrow through his chest because she is too delicate to walk on her own two feet on anything but a perfectly level road, and is also apologising for the "disrespect" 🙄

I cannot.

***

LMAO, if he's not careful, Lord Lu will mistake his nonsense for actual flirting and then he'll be in extra trouble 😅

Seriously, though.

I know that my yaoi goggles are perpetually glued on, but even the average viewer must see that all their interactions so far have been sexually charged, right? The intent might be comic relief, but the sexual innuendo is 100% there.

***

I MEAN!! 🤯🤯

If this was a Western show, there would be a bajillion kinky fics on Ao3 within a day of this airing!

It's not even subtext at this point.

***

LMAO, Si Yilin wishes 🤣🤣

***

LMAO, what even 🤣🤣

I thought he would get Baichuan or Ning to dress up, not put on lipstick himself 🤣🤣

Anyway, for this to work, Lord Mu Qi must be really invested in the peace talks being a success. Yikes.

Also, I have to wonder if Lord Lu was to see him like this, he'd be more or less inclined to kidnap and abscond with him to the North, peace talks be damned 🤣🤣

***

Mu Qi is really invested 😅

He is definitely playing along.

I'm curious if Lord Lu is behind the attempted assassination and that's why he's insisting on seeing "her" because he knows she can't possibly be there.

***

I'm so glad he's not an idiot and I'm absolutely going to be shipping him with A-Xiu 😋

***

ASK LORD LU!! 🤣🤣

Also, I love Lord Ge to bits 🖤

[distant--shadow]

I don’t know how to reconcile my love for Imodna and my fear that they’re going to not be end game… which is causing me a fear of purchasing artworks. Do you have any advice?

I’m afraid I’ll do it, hang it, love it and be completely heartbroken and want/need to take it down. OR, they do end up together, I don’t buy the art and then the art won’t be available that long down the line. I have stress and fear..

Sorry if this is dumb

hey there! first off, it ain't dumb. I know I freak out a little bit at the reality of when this campaign will be over, and I was the same with c2, jester was my character of all time and I had been watching live since the first episode aired, it's a lot of time to spend with a character/characters and real understandable to feel that way. it's always bittersweet, but life moves on

and I guess that's it, you have to enjoy what you enjoy whilst you have it. this is a show that's a lot like life, in that your favourite character could easily die one week without much rhyme or reason, no scripted foreshadowed build up. so give yourself to enjoying that thing whilst its here, share that enjoyment with others, and know that in the future there won't be an empty void - there will be something else.

speaking from the point of view of an artist, yeah, of course I think any of us would really appreciate the support, it's rough times, and once again, i can say from experience it's real nice to have that artwork there to see whilst you care about it. enriched environment and all that. and it's hard to say who's enthusiasm will stay, whether the couple is still together in canon or not, or once the show is over. I'm not someone who dabbles in more than one fandom at a time and this is the most I've committed myself to one, personally, but also personally, I'm a slutty aromantic so like whilst I do really care for imodna as a ship and all of that, it's kinda always been Imogen first for me. a whole lot of us were invested in them as a couple before it happened, I'm sure a lot of us would have been invested in it regardless, and we can still love what we were given either way. I love the story of it, I think for me the bump in the road makes it even more interesting, and something we haven't really been given by a CR romance during the campaign before (maybe we had in c1 idk I didn't watch it)

also, getting personal again, I'm also old enough to be of a generation where there wasn't a lot of queer rep. there was a lot of settling for subtle glances and heavy subtext. what we've had already has been so good, I really enjoy it, I love that we're already passed a time of like, well we don't have a lot of queer rep so everything we do has to be all lawful good alligned flowers and smiles and basically rebranded heteronormative fairytale romance but with coming-out grief, it's so far from beauyasha baybeeeee endgame and honestly for me that's perfect. these two have always had great charisma acting together and I love the layers and complexities we get from these two particular characters working out being in a romantic relationship with the burdens they carry, those years they had together before the campaign started and all of that ground we can play with, how they saved eachother...

have fun, try not to stress about being legitimised by others, enjoy your corners of fandom and fic and art and meta and interactions and your own conclusions and attractions and relations. take all the joy you can from the little things in life. make them as big as you want them to be.

[necroromantics]

TOMB TOMB TOMB TOMB CAN I PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEE PRETTY PLEASE HAVE A SMOL FIC OF TALBIN BEING CUTESY CLINGY WELL ATLEAST CUDDLING IN ONE BED ARGHH I NEED THEM SO BAD

- 🥀

🌙 — THE SUN, THE STARS, THE MOON

AN: I GOTCHU. Heres an older piece I had tucked away of some TalBin content. Very subtle NSFW mentions (just talk, no actions). This takes place in high school, before they started dating, but after they became friends, enjoy :]

Tobin walked down the bustling hallways of his small town high school, pushing through cliques of kids desperate to get out of that place as soon as they could. It was a warzone of a school, everyone was smoking in the bathrooms, or indulging in drama because there wasn’t much else to do anyways. Tobin had found himself sitting in the office for talking back to teachers or fighting with students more times than he could count, and if it wasn’t for his grandma pushing him to graduate, he would’ve left that place and never looked back. He met his best friend in junior year, her name was Talitha Marks, but she only went by Tali, and if anyone dared to call her by her full name, she’d make sure they regretted it. The two got along like politicians.

The boy gripped tightly onto the straps of his backpack as he walked towards Tali's last period classroom, only to see her standing near the lockers, talking to an unfamiliar face. Tobin watched from a distance as she smiled that fake smile of hers, and put her number into his phone. There was a sick sort of feeling bubbling in his chest, not quite jealousy, not quite anger, but the type of unease he’d get when he had to leave his little sister alone with his parents. A feeling of knowing that something was bound to go wrong.

Once the two had exchanged their conversation ridden with subtext and innuendos, Tobin shoved past the wave of students rushing through the halls to get out of the school for the weekend. He stood next to the tall girl and raised his eyebrow at her.

“What?”

“Handing out your number to random guys now?”

Tali rolled her eyes, darkened with smudged mascara, as she pushed past the prying boy, and made her way through the halls. He followed closely behind, matching her pace.

“You guys meeting to hook-up tonight?”

“What's your problem?” Tali stopped in her tracks and quickly turned back around to face the boy who was fighting back a teasing grin. He always knew how to get under her skin, and to her demise, he always enjoyed it.

“I’m just wondering,” he said as he threw up his hands in surrender. The girl scoffed at his theatrics and crossed her arms.

“He wanted my number so we can work on a class project together. That’s all.”

“He wanted your number so he could get laid.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Everyone who’s talked to a guy in their life knows that.”

Tali glared daggers at Tobin as the two stood at a standstill for a moment, students walking past them, chatting amongst themselves.

“I’m just saying that giving your number out to whoever asks is why every guy in school thinks you’re a whore,” Tobin shrugged.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

Tali dug her nails into her arm as she lowered her brow at the shameless boy. She shook her head with disbelief and turned as she stormed out of the school, speeding her pace to escape from his harsh teasing.

“Invite him over tonight then, and make sure to wear protection,” he shouted out after her, smiling to himself as she flipped him off.

Tali lounged on her livingroom couch littered with ash burnt holes and stains as she sent a text to her classmate, Joshua, telling him to come over so they could work on the project together. A few minutes passed before she received a text back, with him agreeing to come over after dinner. The tired girl snapped her flip phone shut and leaned her head back, breathing in as she looked up at the ceiling which had been coated with water damage. Her father hadn’t been home in days; he was a trucker, always on the road. And her brother usually stayed at a friend's place, or out late partying. Tonight, she had the house all to herself.

Nighttime came early with the autumn season, and by the time Joshua had texted Tali he was coming over, the outside world had fallen into darkness. So dark, she hadn’t noticed the familiar boy sitting on the curb on the other side of the street outside of her tiny mobile home.

Tobin held a lit cigarette between his fingers as he watched the unfamiliar boy eagerly make his way up the front steps of Tali’s house, and knock bravely on her door. He watched from a distance, inhaling mounds of smoke into his dying lungs, as Tali opened the door and invited the boy in. He watched them chat amongst themselves through the open window of the living room, illuminated by the warm glow of the inside lights.

The boy watched from the curb, taking a long drag from his cigarette as he saw Joshua sneak his hands onto Tali’s waist. His face scrunched into an amused grimace as the window scene played out.

“Ohh buddy, I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” he muttered to himself.

He listened closely to the sound of yelling coming from inside the house, slowly lifting himself to his feet, standing across the street in the darkness as he saw Tali throw the other boy out of her house. Tobin saw her slam the door, and heard Joshua shouting out into the nothingness.

“Fucking bitch! You’re a fucking tease!” He yelled out, before storming off down the street into the night.

Tali leaned against the kitchen counter, squeezing her hands tightly, her knuckles white. She closed her eyes for a moment to collect herself, trying not to lose herself to anger. She thought about the knives on the countertop by the stove, and how quickly she could get to them if she needed to. Tali thought about it until the yelling from the boy outside stopped, and then groaned to herself in annoyance. No big deal. These things happen.

The girl sat herself on her bed, her feet touching the floor, and her old, worn out puppy dog stuffie in her arms. Tali held it close to her as she listened to the quiet ambience of the house. There was a sour taste in her mouth, the world was tortuously quiet for a moment, and she was left alone with her thoughts.

Suddenly, a loud knock from her bedroom window caused her to jump. Her head quickly snapped up, and over to the direction of the noise. It took her a moment to make out the figure on the other side, her heart pounding in her chest, hand reaching for the knife she kept under her pillow. Once her eyes adjusted, her brow furrowed, and her heart settled.

Tali climbed out of bed and stomped over to the window, lifting it open.

“Tobin what the fuck are you doing?” Tali glared at the boy as he pulled himself into her bedroom through the window.

“Just coming to say I told you so,” he said through gritted teeth as he stumbled to the ground.

“You were watching the whole thing?”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

“You’re such a creep."

“Whatever, I need a place to crash for tonight.”

“Jesus christ, just go home Tobin," she groaned.

“Can’t. My old man’s pissed and drinking again.”

Tali stared at the boy with her arms crossed over her chest, drumming her fingers onto her arm, and then looked away.

“I can sleep on the floor,” he offered.

“Don’t bother. Just sleep in my bed tonight.”

A victorious smile crept onto the boys face as he threw himself onto her bed, sighing with relief at how comfortable it was compared to his own. The girl rolled her eyes at him as she turned off the light, and crawled into bed next to him.

“Just don’t be weird or I’m stabbing you.” She dug herself under the covers as Tobin rested his head on his palm.

“What? Like that other guy?” The boy smiled smugly as Tali furrowed her brow with annoyance.

“You think you’re so funny.”

“I think I’m hilarious,” Tobin said, laying himself down on his side, and draping his arms around Tali’s body as she curled herself into him.

He was warm, and she was cold. He kept one hand on her back, and the other gently tangled in her messy hair as he held her close to his chest. She listened to his heart beat like a drum. They rarely ever got that close. Tali never let him, and Tobin never knew what to do anyways. He was cautious with his touch, there was always a sense of dread that everytime he put his hands on her, she’d pull away like she had just been burnt. But she never did, and sometimes, when he wasn’t making her mad, she’d even hold his hand.

The silence of the dark room draped over the two youth embraced under the heavy blanket that covered them. There was a passing flash of light from a car driving down the desolate streets, past Tali’s bedroom window. It moved through the quiet twilight, illuminating the room as it went by. The subtle ambience was overtaken by the sound of the engine roaring through the midnight hour.

"You gotta be more careful who you have over Tals, you know those guys just want to get laid," Tobin said as the car passed, and the room returned to silent darkness.

“Is that why you hang around me?”

"What?"

"To get laid, right? Playing the long game?" Tali scolded.

"I don't got the patience for that."

"Then why do you keep bugging me?"

Tobin pressed his lips onto the top of her head, tangling his fingers into her hair as he held her close to him.

“Cuz you’re the only person who puts up with my bullshit,” he said softly, “who else would let me climb into their window this late at night?”

Tali smiled as she nudged her head into his chest, feeling the subtle warmth radiate from the boy's body. It felt like she was sitting under the sun.

“I guess I trust you,” she whispered, so quiet she half-hoped he didn’t hear. For a moment, only a gentle silence lingered in the room.

“I guess I trust you too,” he whispered back.

There was no meaning to the words, no poetry or passion. The two tangled their bodies into each other, laying atop the old mattress. Tali’s eyes grew heavy, her hands were down, not gripped around the knife under her pillow as they typically were. She fell into a cradling sleep, and Tobin soon followed. They slept well that night, neither of them had any nightmares.

[questforgalas]

Summary: Betrayal in a foreign country. No one to trust but each other. Johnny "Soap" MacTavish barely made it out of the streets of Las Almas, but with Ghost's guiding word, he made it out alive. Now, making their way to whatever safety the wilderness of Mexico can offer, feelings previously hidden away struggle to be tamped down, and Soap struggles to keep his heart in check as he thinks about what he and his lieutenant found together in the streets of Las Almas

WC: 4.6K

Tags: Swearing, Soap gets stitches, blood, canon typical violence

Notes: I cannot believe that less than 3 weeks ago I didn't even know GhostSoap was a thing and now I'm writing fics. The power of subtext Activision. The freaking power of subtext ....

Anyway! This is not only my first GhostSoap fic, but it's my first time ever writing romance! Any feedback or suggestions are very welcome!! ***Updated 9/16 after my brilliant friend gave it a read and gave some feedback. Italics are actual dialogue from the MW2 (2022) mission "Alone" aka the GhostSoap mecca

“¡Déjanos en tranquilo!” - Leave us alone! “¿Donde esta el Irani?” - Where is the Iranian? “¡No está aqui! - He's not here “¡No sabemos! Salgan de mi - We don't know! Get out of my -

Enjoy :)

Read on Ao3

Johnny “Soap” Mactavish was willing to give his soul, left arm, and at least one testicle for the truck to never jostle again. Whether it was a pebble or a pothole carved from years of rain, traffic, and neglected infrastructure, each bump sent a chest-seizing jolt of pain through his right shoulder, and given the fact that the truck was pushing its speedometer’s limit through the rural desert of Mexico, he figured his chances of a smooth journey were slim, but he was at a point where desperation was taking over and logic flew out the shot-out window. Fresh blood trickled from the bullet hole making a window through his body - his trophy from a high-caliber rifle at point blank range. 

Well, he had to survive to actually claim the trophy. 

Most civilians assume that death is on a soldier’s mind every second during the day, even pestering them in their dreams, but the reality is that soldiers walk alongside death like an old friend. In the beginning, it dances around them, testing what will tempt them to come play for eternity, but over time, after successful missions and healed wounds, its eager energy abates. Transforming into a consistent presence looming near. Before each mission, after the final pull on his gear’s straps, ensuring the protection his life will depend on is secure, Johnny gives a nod to the ever present shadow lurking above and watches as it retreats back to its corner, waiting to greet him when the time comes. 

With each bump of the truck, Johnny begged death to remain in its corner. 

Las Almas, or the place from now on known as “the town that can get fucked”, may be forgotten behind the horizon, but not in Johnny’s mind. 

“¡Déjanos en tranquilo!” “¿Donde esta el Irani?” “¡No está aqui! “¡No sabemos! Salgan de mi -” Gunshot. A woman sobbing into the night. Pouring rain creating  another river of blood between the cobblestones.

A body greeted him around every corner. Women. Children. Men. Families. Individuals. In the streets. Inside homes. It didn’t matter. If they were a resident of Las Almas, they were guilty in the eyes of Shadow Company, and tonight, the Shadows were judge, jury, and executioner. 

“War crimes, Johnny,” Ghost’s voice crackled through the earpiece. “Makes me want to commit a few war crimes of mah own,” Johnny ground out. 

A growl crawled its way up his throat,teeth grinding at the memories.

Fuckin’ Shadow Company. Johnny’s seen some bastards with balls of steel in his time with the SAS, but none can compare to the American operatives seizing Alejandro’s base, taking the colonel into custody, and hunting him and Ghost through the streets, trying to cut all the loose ends that could end their reign of control. Now, Johnny and Ghost raced through the desert of Mexico, putting as many miles as they could between them and that hell hole near the Mexico-US border. Outside the window, a sliver of navy creeped along the black horizon, and Johnny tried to focus on the scenery racing by, but the blood loss won the battle, blurring his vision and causing a groan to escape, fighting the nausea rolling through his stomach. 

“Hang in there, Johnny,” A deep, gravelly voice, thick with an accent that called northern England home, said beside him, “We’re nearly there.”

Calling on the strength of 1000 Highland warriors, Johnny flopped his head towards the driver’s seat. A black balaclava with a plastic skull sewn to the front covered a head that sat upon broad shoulders in a green-beige army jacket layered under gear. The jacket sleeves were rolled up, stopping just beneath the elbow, giving a glimpse of forearms bigger than most thighs, and Johnny blamed his current state on the urge to whine at the arm gripping the steering wheel blocking the tattooed work of art that he knew covered the left forearm. 

The skull turned and whiskey eyes locked with his. “Ya with me, Johnny?” they asked, gaze returning to the road briefly before turning back.

“With ye, Lt,” Johnny slurred, Scottish accent so thick that even he had a hard time understanding him. He flashed a tired smile, giving a half-assed thumbs up. “For noo at least.” 

“Eyes on the prize, Sergeant,” the driver said, steady and focused. 

Steady and focused. The nature of the soldier behind the mask. The soldier who should have high-tailed it out of Las Almas as soon as shit hit the fan, but, instead, made his way back into the heart of enemy territory. The soldier who climbed a church and dipped into a finite supply of ammo to clear a path. All for one man.

Lieutenant Simon Riley may go by “Ghost”, but he was Johnny’s savior. 

“We’re about 30 minutes out from the safehouse,” Ghost continued, giving Johnny’s body a once over then turning his focus back on the road. 

“Safehouse?” Johnny asked. 

“Alejandro’s. Gave me the location just in case.” 

“Why didn’t he tell me?” 

“It was need to know.” 

Any other time, Johnny would have a quick retort on the tip of his tongue, but the only energy he could dredge up now resulted in his head falling against the headrest. Resting his eyes sounded like Christmas morning, and he didn’t see the point in fighting the heavy lids anymore. 

“Hey, hey, Johnny. Keep those pretty blues open,” Ghost coaxed, switching arms on the wheel to give Johnny’s knee a shake. “Haven’t been able to check ya from that gun bash yet. You’re stayin’ awake until I can, yeah?” 

Johnny grunted an acknowledgement but didn’t register anything after “pretty blues”. Scalding scarlet ran from his cheeks to the tips of his ears, and he prayed to whatever deity out there listening that if Ghost noticed, he’d pass it off as Johnny’s body reacting to the injuries.

The lieutenant showed favoritism with one-word answers instead of grunts. The most words he uttered were barked orders on missions. He haunted the walls of briefings and worked alone unless ordered otherwise. Most importantly, the mask never came off. Hiding away the man beneath. Johnny shouldn’t be latching onto one comment about eye color. Shouldn’t be memorizing the feeling of the hand resting on his knee, tethering him like a life raft thrown at sea. 

“We’re teammates. Friendship’s not in the field manual, Johnny.”  “Neither’s mask makin’...”

But then he thought of tonight. Ghost’s voice breaking with panic when the bullet went through his shoulder. 

“Go Johnny, get out of there!”

Staying back for him when decades of experience said to get to a rendezvous miles away. Thought of Ghost’s voice in his ear. 

“Stick to the edges and stay low.” 

“Look for supplies - things you can make tools with. Welcome to guerilla warfare…”

Coaching Johnny through the streets. To salvation. To him. 

“I’ve set up a sniper position in the church tower. Find your way there, and ya just might make it.”  

Awful jokes grounding Johnny each time he felt his mind beginning to snap. 

“What has two legs and bleeds?” “Don’t tell me…” “Half a dog.”  “Ah asked yoo not tae tell me.” 

As if his lieutenant recognized the many tones of his voice, recognized when he was on the brink of falling. 

“Two goldfish are in a tank…” “Goo on…” “One turns to the other and says ‘You know how to drive this thing?’ Little army humor…” “Very little.”

The banter that danced dangerously on the edge of flirting. 

“Fashioned a trip mine, Lt.” “A man after my own heart.” “Thought you’d like that.” 

And when it danced right off of the edge.

“I drink bourbon.” “Like a good ol’ boy, Lt…”

“The mask…take it off.” “Show my face?”  “Yes, sir.” “Negative.” “Are yoo ugly?” “Quite the opposite.”

He ignored the flutter in his heart. 

Just teammates.

“Didn’t know yer a medic,” he managed to say, pulling himself back.  

“Best you’re gonna get for now,” Ghost replied. 

Johnny huffed, keeping his eyes open by watching the Mexican desert race by. The sliver of navy along the horizon was growing, shades of blue pushing against the star-speckled black. It brought him back to their first days in Mexico, back when it was all simpler.

The jet lag was a bitch to overcome, the time difference between Al Mazrah and Mexico proving too much to adjust to right away. He’d been staring up at the ceiling, awake and alert hours before it was necessary, trying every trick in the book, but when the tenth attempt at counting sheep failed, he surrendered to the internal alarm clock and rolled out of the creaky cot, groggily pulling on a sweatshirt and barely tying his boots. 

The unfamiliar halls of Alejandro’s base were quiet, too early for anyone to be stirring, so he wandered his way outside like a specter in the night. The comparison gave him a chuckle, thinking about the actual ghost who haunted the halls of 141’s base. As if he conjured the man himself, Johnny exited onto the courtyard to find Ghost casually leaning against the nearest wall. 

“Couldn’t sleep either?” he greeted, posting up on one of his lieutenant’s sides, sliding down to sit on the pavement. 

“The usual,” Ghost grunted back. 

“Jet lag?” Johnny asked absentmindedly, staring across the base at the horizon.

Ghost didn’t answer, standing there still as a statue. 

When Johnny joined task force 141, he thought it was something about him that kept the lieutenant at an arm’s distance. Each attempt to engage in conversation either received grunts or cold eyes staring back. Most people with basic survival instincts would take the hints and walk directly the other way. Too bad Johnny wasn’t most people. In fact, the lieutenant’s icy exterior only intrigued him, pushing towards a delicate balance on the edge of curiosity and obsession. 

Knowing better than most that in the military everyone had their pasts, Johnny took care to never step over the line - clocking Ghost’s invisible boundaries - but he undoubtedly toed it more than anyone else. 

“Mornin’, Lt!” accompanied by little taps on the shoulder 

“Lt! Ah have a seat over here for ye, sir” when Ghost tried to haunt his usual spot for briefings. 

Jabbering on about whatever topic came to mind to fill the silence when the two were on recruits duty. 

Offered easy smiles. Asked questions he knew he wouldn’t get answers to, patiently waiting anyway. Searched whiskey eyes for any change in a meticulously built exterior. 

Then the long flight from Al Mazrah plopped in his lap like a gift. Hours of just the two of them on a cargo plane with nothing to keep them occupied except each other’s company. 

Johnny couldn’t even wait for the ramp to close. “Tradin’ one desert for another, huh Lt?” he said, lopsided grin on his face. “Lucky us gettin’ the whole international sand experience. Think we won a lottery or somethin’?” 

Blank eyes stared back at him. 

“Never had much of an opinion aboot sand. Growin’ up in Glasgow ‘n’ all. Sure we have the river, but not itchin’ tae swim in that anytime soon…” And so he went, filling the air with whatever his brain conjured. 

These exchanges between them were never transactional. He knew what to expect from the man sitting across the way - head at a slight tilt, blank eyes straight ahead, the occasional shift to waken stiff limbs - but being in Ghost’s presence was enough for Johnny. So, he let his own eyes drift up to the cargo hold’s ceiling, feeling a dreamy smile creep across his face as he wove his favorite memories into words. 

Time passed. Unsure how long, lost in the tales.

“Keep in mind, A’m a wee, trustful lad at this point. Barely seven. Ava, th’ one above me, wee devil that one. Still is, honestly. If there’s trouble, Ava’s not usually far from it.” He laughed up at the ceiling. “Anyway, Ava and Ah are playing in the yard in the back when she looks at me and goes, ‘Oi, Johnny. Bet ye can’t climb the tree in a minute!’” Johnny put his hands on his hips, mimicking a power pose. “And Ah, the brave lad Ah was, said ‘Aye, yer on!” and didn’t Ah scamper as fast as mah wee legs could take me. Noo keep in mind, Lt, this tree was a big motherfucker. Trunk as thick as three of ya. Old, craggily bark - kinda like ya too - and some branches Ah’d consider low noo. Decent for climbin’, just maybe not at seven…

So, Ah scamper up quick as Ah can. Never looked back. A’d never actually climbed up the thing, but a bet was on the line! Granted, Ava hadn’t actually bet me anythin’, but still. Ya know what happened? Ah made it up there! First time! Took longer than a minute, Ah know that noo, but wee me thought Ah aced it. Ah gave a whoop, turned to rub it in Ava’s face, and was greeted with an empty yard. Wee scamp had gone inside! Then Ah looked down, and noo, Ah wasn’t necessarily scared, but it was a hell of a jump! Not for the faint of heart Ah tell ya! I called for Ava a few times, but that devil just appeared in the windoo of the kitchen and smiled. So Ah chose the mature route.” He paused, sly smile sneaking its way onto his lips. He was about to continue when he heard…

“What did ya do?” 

He blinked up at the ceiling, registering that the question did actually come from the cargo hold. He whipped his head down, looking at his lieutenant for the first time since they took off, and found Ghost’s attention right on him. “What?” he eloquently managed to say. 

“The mature route. What did ya do?” Ghost asked. 

It took a second for Johnny’s brain to catch up. “Oh. Oh ya. The mature route. Ah took th’ high road of course,” he flashed a smile. “Started yellin’ for mah Ma. As loud as mah wee lungs would let me. Ava scurried off to get the ladder as soon as she realized Ah wasn’t quitin’,” he finished, chuckling, the soft laugh bouncing around the cargo hold. 

Then his mouth snapped shut. He wasn’t laughing that loud. It couldn't have been…

Sure enough, though his mouth was sealed tight, the laugh continued. Not as strong as his, but it was there, fluttering around the hold. Over on his spot on the bench, Ghost’s shoulders moved barely a hair up and down but the soft shake was noticeable, and Johnny couldn’t believe the deep crinkles appearing around the lieutenant’s eyes. Eyes that weren’t blank or cold, but warm, near glittering. 

The crinkles remained as the flight passed, giving away the hidden smile beneath, and Johnny decided those crinkles were his new favorite thing. 

Something flipped then. Johnny couldn’t pinpoint exactly what, but sitting on the ground in the middle of the night, staring at the quiet Mexican desert, he didn’t feel the need to fill the silence. It was comfortable, soothing. A peace he didn’t know with anyone else. The sergeant lazed on the ground and his lieutenant stood near, watching the black of night give way to the gray of dawn. 

Watching that same horizon through the window of the truck, that morning a week ago felt like a distant memory. 

“Hey Johnny,” Ghost said, breaking through his daze, bringing him back to the present. 

“Yea?” he answered. 

“Where do fruits go on vacation?” 

“Spare me,” Johnny grimaced.

“Pear-is”, Ghost finished.

 “Ach. A’m already in enough pain as it is,” he groaned.

“Can’t be worse than your hair.” 

Johnny found the energy to flip his middle finger. “Away n’ bile yer heid,” he scoffed.

“Fuckin’ scots and their sayin’s.” 

“Admit it, Lt. Ya’d be bored without me.” 

“That’s one way of lookin’ at it,” Ghost mumbled. 

The lieutenant’s hands rotated along the steering wheel, turning the truck off of the gravel road and further into the Mexican wilderness. A ramshackled barn came into view, alone against the mountains, and they pulled up to the end of the drive. Ghost gently patted Johnny’s knee, giving his body one more look over, seeming content with the state of him, and exited. At last letting his eyes close for a moment, Johnny recalled every pep talk stored in his brain to gather the strength to get out of this truck and to the shelter they desperately needed. 

Once he was confident he’d tricked himself into thinking he didn’t have a bullet hole dripping blood all over him, he grabbed the door handle, took a deep breath, and pushed into the oncoming morning. 

_____________________________________________________________

“Yer sure there’s none of the good stuff lyin’ aroond?” Johnny ground out when the needle started another pass through his skin. 

“Alejandro thought of everything except anything stronger than ibuprofen,” Ghost murmured, scolding eyes flashing up before returning to their work. “If you’d quit squirmin’ this would go faster.”

“Oh right, cause yer a perfect patient in medical,” Soap grumbled. 

The lieutenant didn’t bite at the bait, staying fixed on the wound, steady fingers guiding the needle while his other hand braced the back of the sergeant’s upper arm, and Johnny tried, oh he really did try, to keep a professional composure, but when each wince earned him a “You’re doin good, Johnny. Almost there”, he found very little motivation to keep still. An especially painful prick forced his head thudding back against the old, wooden planks, breathing through it, but butterflies replaced pain when a gentle thumb found its way under his shirt sleeve, rubbing up and down his skin. 

“Alright,” soothed from under the balaclava. “Just a couple more passes. Good as new soon.”

How the man hunched over his shoulder, tenderly patching him together, was the same man with enough blood on his hands to be dripping Johnny wasn’t able to piece together. The same hands that never met a bone they couldn’t break delicately laced a needle through his skin and eased the tension in his chest with a single touch. 

The hands of the ghost of 141. A demon who lurked in the darkness - greeting his targets with a brutality that made them pray for the devil to save them - was Johnny’s guardian angel. 

“You are stone cold, Simon.” 

Myths come from fantasy, but legends, well, legends grew from the seeds of truth, and Johnny witnessed first hand that the legends of Lieutenant Riley could claim an entire forest. His presence on the field drew every soldier like moths to a light, ready to follow wherever he may lead. He knew where an enemy was going to be before the enemy knew themselves, and the precision with which he wielded a weapon - whether it be a knife or a rifle - was as if it were an extension of himself. An ease and familiarity that spoke of relentless dedication, endless hours of practice, and scars of lessons learned. Mistakes to never be made again. 

Watching Ghost work on the field was to witness a masterpiece performed, and Johnny only ever wanted it to end with lively whiskey eyes staring safely back at him. 

“Ya want to be better than me, Johnny.”

None of that intrepid, brutal force he became familiar with on the field could be found in the ridiculous jokes he now knew the man was fond of nor in the gentle murmurs from behind the mask as he focused on the final stitch. As he slowly peeleed away the complicated layers of Simon Riley, Johnny was beginning to think that that was impossible. No one could be better than the man in front of him. 

A stiff tug in his arm pulled him out of his head. “There we go. Can quit your whinin’ now,” Ghost said. He brought the arm closer, inspecting his work and letting go when he seemed content with it. “I’ll grab another bottle of water from Rodolfo and some more pain killers. Try not to get more hurt while I’m gone, yeah?” 

The lieutenant stood from the worn stool he had claimed and turned to dispose of the needle and materials in the small waste basket waiting nearby. He turned to the cracked door leading to the main area of the barn, but stopped to give a quick glance at his sergeant, hesitating. 

“Ach, Lt. I’m fine. Quit yer mother hennin’,” Johnny urged, waving him off with the good arm. That earned him an eye roll, but Ghost continued through the door, leaving the sergeant alone for the first time since they high-tailed out of the main plaza of Las Almas. 

A breath Johnny didn’t realize he’d been holding blew out, feeling every muscle in his body relax. Maybe it was the blood loss. Maybe it was the exhaustion. Or maybe it was the fact that his body was a livewire, aware of every brush of his lieutenant’s knee or every touch of his calloused hands. Whatever it was, an unbidden image of him falling to the floor like a gelatinous blob popped into his mind and there was no fighting the fit of laughter bubbling up inside.  

As fate would have it, that was the moment Ghost decided to return, finding his sergeant choking on laughter with tears streaming down his cheeks.

“Ah think Ah’m finally starting tae crack, Lt,” Johnny managed to say as he caught his breath. 

The lieutenant took his perch back on the stool, staring with a look that would pass as unamused to others, but not to the sergeant who cataloged every iteration of Ghost’s gaze, recognizing a fond glimmer shining through. 

“I think that ship sailed a long time ago, Sergeant,” Ghost said as he handed over the bottle in one hand and offered two pills lying in the palm of the other. 

“Yer bum’s oot the windae,” Johnny responded, eagerly grabbing the items. 

Ghost heaved a heavy sigh, eyes rolling up to the ceiling. “English, MacTavish,” he said as Johnny threw the pills into his mouth and took a hefty swig, swallowing as much as his empty stomach could handle. 

In the corner of his eye, he noticed Ghost going preternaturally still for a second, but the lieutenant shook himself out of whatever stupor had taken over, hand rubbing the back of his neck while his gaze found the floor. When the bottle was empty, Johnny chucked it into the waste, whimpering when the action pulled at the fresh stitches. 

“Try not to break those. I just finished ‘em,” Ghost scolded, gazing back at his sergeant. “Come ‘ere. Gotta check that head of yours.” 

The lieutenant leaned forward as he spoke, his left hand beginning to rise, but then suddenly hesitating mid-air, appearing unsure. Johnny watched, not daring to move. A battle flickered through his lieutenant’s eyes, hundreds of questions, thousands of doubts flitting by in the span of a second. Then, a look Johnny recognized all too well because he’d seen it reflected back at him in the mirror every time Ghost haunted his waking dreams.

Longing.

“So yoo do like me?”

“I like you alive, Sergeant.” 

Finally, Ghost’s gaze set with a look more common for the lieutenant. Determination. The hand closed the distance, barely cupping the side of the sergeant’s face, still giving him an out if he wanted, and Johnny held his breath, afraid that any sudden movement would spook the man away. When the hand continued to hover, not fully touching but not retreating either, he seized the moment and leaned in, a content hum floating from his throat at the contact. 

“Taken a shine to me then, Lt?”

Never before had he been this close to Ghost, only getting as close as professionalism would allow, but he’d clocked the stunning color of the lieutenant’s eyes. The only bit of the man not hidden. Now, barely a hands-breadth away, he could take in every strip of amber swirling through the whiskey pools. The lone spot of brown that sat in the right corner. The small wisps of green haloing each pupil. His hand itched for the weight of his pencil and sketchbook, overtaken with the need to capture a scene that even the Renaissance masters would struggle to do justice. 

Simon Riley stole his breath away. 

“Absolutely beautiful,” Johnny said before his brain could catch up. 

“Keep it tactical, Sergeant,” Ghost murmured, thumb grazing his cheek. “Need to check that head of yours, remember.” 

“Whatever you say, Simon.” Johnny could be ordered to rip open his stitches and put the bullet back in, and he would. Right now, he’d do anything Ghost asked him. 

Instructions were given - follow the finger, to the right, now left, look up, look down - the test completed, and when the thumb paused, Johnny leaned further into the touch, shamelessly nuzzling the palm, seeking that feeling again. A soft chuckle escaped from under the mask. 

A peaceful smile snuck onto his lips. “What’s the verdict, doc?” he asked softly. 

“A concussion, but nothin’ that’ll kill ya” Ghost answered, matching his tone. “Should be ok to grab some shut eye before we head out.” 

They stayed that way, lost in eachother, gentle strokes resuming against the sergeant’s cheek. Neither dared to move. Johnny knew that Las Almas changed them. An electric current appeared between them when his feet first hit the pavement before Al Mazrah, and that current became a tether with every step in the blood soaked streets tonight, pulling him not to survival, not to revenge, but back to Ghost. Because he knew now, as long as he had Ghost - his guardian angel full of hidden scars and terrible jokes and brutal kills and gentle touches - he’d survive. 

“Tryin’ to keep you alive and get you here in one piece…Let’s worry about you, Johnny.”

He clung to the idea that he wasn’t alone in this, that he wasn’t the only one who wanted to stay in this pocket they carved for themselves. Didn’t want to break this spell. Because in the back of his mind, Johnny knew that once it was broken, the crushing weight of reality would come falling back onto them. Where they were a lieutenant and a sergeant. The ghost of 141 and his subordinate. 

Teammates. Just teammates.  

Try as he did, the tease of sleep eventually won the war over a shot nervous system, and Johnny felt his eyelids drooping without his consent. He knew that if it wasn’t for the hand on his cheek, his head would fall directly onto his chest. Whiskey eyes warmed to pools of gold gazing back at him. “Time to get that shut eye, Sergeant,” Ghost said. 

To his dismay, the hand finally moved, leaving his skin ice cold. Through half-closed lids, Johnny watched Ghost rise from his stool and reach for something just out of sight. Lamenting the loss, Johnny moved to lie across the cot but only managed to clumsily flop down on his back, the exhaustion finally taking over each of his brain cells. Some needles of hay made themselves known through the rough cloth cover, but it could have been a mattress at the Ritz for all Johnny knew. A moment later, rough wool covered his arms.  

“Not gonna tuck me in?” he teased. 

A huff floated in the air, “You’re a right pain in my arse,” Ghost responded. “Go to sleep. I won’t be far, just gonna help Rudy prep.” 

“Can’t pull the wool anymore, Lt. I know ya like me alive,” Johnny muttered, eyes surrendering to the sleep pulling him in. Hanging onto his last tether of consciousness, a soft murmur full of gravel floated into his ear.

“More than you know, Johnny.”

[galwithalibrarycard]

Hello, how r u? Soo, I just discovered love little losers (I was a huge fan on nmtd, but didn't know about lolilo). And I love your blog, thanks for keeping the fandon alive. Argh so, Freddie, does she gets better? Cause she's a little bit annoying. Pedro and Balt, I'm jumping out of my sits for them, the backslash? Really. I'm so excited to see more beadick. Anyway, I just wanna vent, thanks for the blog

I’m good thanks, hope you are too. And thank you! I’m definitely not the only one still here keeping the fandom alive, there’s still a few of us out here, but I appreciate the love! 😁 it’s nice to know people are enjoying my posts still!

We’re actually having a small resurgence in the tags with new people watching both series, which is fun. Those people inspire me to keep posting too, it’s all full circle.

I am… not really sure how to prepare you for lolilo tbh. It’s a loose adaptation of Shakespeare’s Love’s Labors Lost, and it’s a lot heavier and angstier than NMTD for one thing, so be warned. Pedrazar is a very slow burn, be prepared for a journey! I liked Freddie right away bc I relate to her anxious energy, but you might take some time to warm up to her, that’s fair.

I recommend you head to @beatriceeagle and check out the series of Lolilo meta analysis posts she made with her sister a few years back. It’s a show that trades in subtext and has a lot of important stuff go down offscreen. Reading the metas really helps give a more thorough understanding and insight into the characters and why they behave the ways they do. It might help you understand where Freddie’s coming from, and the others too.

As far as Beadick, I’ll tell you they will break your heart, but it will be put back together again. If you need more of them, the missing offscreen moments and development of their relationship are kind of my specialty in terms of fanfiction. I wrote “the world is too quiet without you nearby”, a 16-chapter fanfic covering the time period between NMTD and Lolilo when Bea and Ben are in a long-distance relationship (plenty of fluff to pad the descent into angst). I also wrote “And We Are Finally Home”, a fic that covers the Beadick relationship arc from the lolilo episode “Confrontation” on through the end of the show- and I WILL be finishing and posting the epilogue to that fic as soon as I can, but you can read the chapters that are already up and still get a pretty complete story there. You don’t have to read them, but i wanted to share because I’m proud of them and I think they’re a good companion to the show if you like Team B! Mind the tags, but there shouldn’t be anything in the fics you can’t handle if you can handle the actual show.

The most important thing you might not get from the videos themselves: it’s canon from the creators that Benedick and Freddie and Balthazar are all dealing with anxiety disorders of some kind, though the creators didn’t actually intend to write that going in- it just happened that they agreed with the fandoms interpretation later on. So everything Ben does is colored by anxiety constantly telling him that he’s too much and that no one likes him and the only thing he’s good for is a laugh- and the (false) worry that Bea is getting sick of him and can’t wait to leave on her travels to get away from him. He’s trying to keep people from leaving him. Freddie is the way she is because she’s desperate for control in life, it’s the only way she feels calm. And Balthazar is petrified of confrontation and retreats into himself when he’s stressed. A lot of this is covered in much better depth in the metas I mentioned, but I wanted to let you know. Not as an excuse for any of their actions, but as an explanation that might make it a less frustrating watch.

I hope that answer wasn’t too overwhelming. I am just incapable of being normal about these webseries and especially about Benedick Hobbes (look, you don’t simply forget the character who got you through your own social anxiety diagnosis, and this is the obsessing-over-fictional-characters website. I talk about other things too, I promise! xD)

Anyway, thank *you* for allowing me to share some thoughts right back! I hope you enjoy Lolilo! 😊💖🦩

[absynthe--minded]

Hi! Sorry to bother, but do you know where I can read more about Tolkien's opinion on queer relationships and queerness in general? I haven't read all of the letters, but in one of them he says some icky and misogynistic stuff about (het) relationships and I was kind of disappointed. (I don't mean this in a 'gotcha' kind of way, I'm just a queer person who's genuinely bothered by some of his views and wants to learn more)

I don’t think it’s any sort of a gotcha!

The short answer (there is more I have to say, but I’ll give you the important bit first) is that Tolkien never made any explicit and confirmed statements one way or the other about queerness. I’ve seen some people allude to things but I’ve never found anything concrete, and this fandom and this scholarly field are both homophobic enough that if there were anything he said against queer relationships we’d have all heard it by now. also, seriously, good job digging deeper into his views and interrogating them - he was far from perfect and honest, forthright engagement with his flaws is basically the only way we’ll move forward and tackle them.

the longer answer is that while he was both openly sexist (ranging from pretty bad misogyny to “uh, have you ever met a woman in your life?”) and openly racist (usually taking the form of “repeating any ethnic stereotypes he came across without any thought of their relationship to reality, and having no idea of what was or wasn’t offensive”) his feelings on queerness are harder to find. this isn’t that unusual - even people we’ve been able to confirm as queer or probably queer are in many cases silent about their relationship with their sexuality, and Tolkien was in a position where even if he himself was queer (which, by the way, is my opinion) he’d probably have no incentive to say so directly.

because this fandom and this scholarly discipline are so overwhelmingly cishet, queer scholarship of Tolkien is in its infancy, even to a point that means most people who are open to queer readings and queer interpretations will balk at trying to argue for the canonicity of queer relationships and queer subtext, there’s also not a lot of writing on this subject by biographers or other academics. however, there’s a fair bit of evidence that at least argues both that Tolkien was okay with IRL queer people and he was consciously engaging with queer themes in his works.

what we know is this:

he was friendly with W.H. Auden (gay), and a deep admirer of the works of Mary Renault (lesbian who wrote historical M/M fic focusing on the classics, sort of a midcentury Madeline Miller but more focused on historical accuracy). in fact he’s on the record as saying he loved Renault’s books (specifically The King Must Die and The Bull from the Sea, though possibly also The Charioteer and The Last of the Wine, both of which are explicitly gay fiction) and the fan letter she sent him was among his most prized correspondences

he was Catholic, but he purposefully wrote stories or developed narrative ideas that weren’t directly in compliance with Catholicism, and he did acknowledge that in one case (specifically the Gift of Men and the concept of euthanasia as a blessing) he was interested in exploring concepts as good stories rather than moral messages - this shows that his faith wouldn’t have necessarily bound him to only depict homosexuality badly

he wouldn’t have suffered socially for speaking out against queerness (other authors of his circle like C.S. Lewis were more vocal) but he didn’t, which indicates a choice not to

he was aware of and directly inspired by Homeric epics alongside Northern European sources, and this does include the Iliad

Quenya doesn’t have gendered pronouns, and we know that in at least one draft he changed gendered words like “husband” and “wife” to “spouse”. he also depicts elves and dwarves as having a high degree of androgyny, and elvish marriages are not explicitly required to be between a male elf and a female elf

his inclusion of vital and important relationships like Túrin and Beleg, Frodo and Sam, and Fingon and Maedhros alongside equally important het relationships indicates that he was interested in giving space to M/M that blurs or steps over the line between platonic het-approved friendship and queerness

there’s something to be said for how British midcentury queer literature depicts queer men as sad outcasts at war with their true nature who can’t ever be happy, and how Tolkien writes a lot of men in relationships with other men who are in that position except they’re miserable because of outside forces (the Ring, the Oath, Morgoth’s curse, their failings as people apart from relationships) and their deep connections with other men are the happiest and best part of who they are

this is, as you can see, both an area that really needs further study and an area that has just enough to suggest that he wasn’t a garden variety homophobe.

I hope that helps?

[chloedanvers13]

Y’know, what? No time like the present…

First and foremost, Happy Pride!!! 🧡🤍🩷

Second, I suppose a more-proper introduction is in order…

Hi! My name’s Chloe! (I suppose the username tipped you off to that, but I digress.) I am a 30-something trans-femme demi-sapphic woman living, begrudgingly, in the American MidWest.

I am a massive nerd (pop-culture, DC Comics, Music, among others), and well… as you can see also, my chosen last-name is Danvers… so I’m not even gonna lie when I say that my personal inspiration for the kind of person I want to be is Kara (Zor-El) Danvers herself. [Doesn’t hurt that I dumb-lucked into finding my personal Cat Grant… tis the silver-est of linings.💜☀️]

I am a fledgling writer, though I have largely been in a 10ish year slump of writers block… currently trying to claw my way out of it starting with what has been my brain’s salvation these last few years: fan-fiction.

And in that vein, I figure, how better to get to know me, than to talk about my favorite ships, and why they resonate with me. So, let’s do this. :)

Bechloe: My first ship, even though I didn’t realize it at first. I’ve come a long way as an individual, so much so I watched Pitch Perfect the first time and saw 0 sapphic subtext between Beca and Chloe. (That is VERY much not that case now, I assure you. Lolz) So, why them? I’m a sucker for a grumpy/sunshine dynamic (we will revisit this later, I assure you. Lolz) between two women, and especially watching the sunshine warm up the grump a little. ❤️

Also doesn’t hurt this ship’s chances that this Chloe is THE Chloe that my name comes from… aspirationally, that kind of girl is inside me, but life has made me a bit more of a Beca, if that makes sense. Lolz

SuperCat: I could go on for days about them. Once again, Grumpy/ Sunshine, and I mean, I am literally a Danvers, so… lolz. Suffice it to say, they are a pair put on my radar by ‘My’ Cat…. And I have not shut up about them ever since. Seriously, the fact my partner still encourages it is a Raosend. Lolz I won’t go into much more detail, because my writing will do that for them, in spades.. whether it’s SuperCat, or AstraCat…. (No, not Aunt Astra… but consider this a tease for my SG-rewrite. ;) )

Chenrich: “Life is Strange: True Colors” is my favorite game, of all time. I’ve platinumed it, and I’m working on the perameters of a playthrough that gives me different challenges. But all that being said, when I see Steph and got her vibe, I burst out in a laugh and called it my “discount Beca Mitchell dating simulator”.. and I was not disappointed. ❤️ (btw, my canon ending? Alex and Steph stay in Haven Springs, and get the Black Lantern and turn it into a nerd bar… maybe one day I’ll write it. Who knows? Lolz)

Avalance: this is my semi-unexpected one… my brain is almost always in National City.. but these two, they grew on me, so hard. It doesn’t hurt that my partner broke my brain by telling me she saw a lot of Sara in me… and it took me years to finally see it too. (Though I will always, shamelessly, be a Kara… lolz) Co-Captains for life, babe. 💜☀️

Alright, that just may be enough to prolly not tell you all that much. But I’m an open book! And my asks are actually open now. Lolz

Alright, one more random thing, because why not? So… when I world build, I sometimes go to weird tangents… like, I may not have fleshed-out plot-lines… but I have 3 seasons of villian progression, and I’ve created the ice cream flavor made for her by a grateful National Citizen… (it’s “Swirl From The Stars”.. Fic is a lifesaver, swear to Rao. ☀️)

Alright, I’ve rambled on enough. I hope this finds all of you well, and once again, today and every single day ever…. Happy Pride!! 🧡🤍🩷

El Mayarah,

Chlo. 💜☀️

[itsoneofthemuses]

Thank you for answering my ask and posting your thoughts! I can definitely provide some more questions. I was inspired by the response and I have lots more thoughts :D I wrote way too much so feel free to divide up the different sections and post it however you like and answer only what you want.

All those examples you wrote about are so great. I love to see characters who are sometimes led by their emotions and then they use their head afterwards. I think it also tells us a lot of what is important to Lucy and why she sometimes loses her cool a bit. And I love that Lucy can act immature at times, but that does not mean she is immature. That she can react with anger when people opposes her, but that does not mean she gets angry every time someone disagrees with her. This makes her a very relatable character who is interesting to follow.

I agree that Lucy seems to be all over the place in season 4. She agrees to be Tim’s aide and I know others have written about that as she needing stability after Jackson’s death and I can definitely understand that. It might also explain why her emotional state is less consistent and why she seems to be less connected to herself and a bit less engaged with the people around her. I think there was an opportunity here to show her grieving her friend and everything their friendship gave her. That could have been more of a storyline instead of just being subtext to her actions in that season. What would you have liked to see for Lucy in season 4? 

What do you think was the purpose of introducing Chris? Were they trying to give them a similar set-up as Angela and Wesley and flirt through disagreements? She is never really shown talking with Chris. Like you say there are conversations were they both state how they have completely different views on something and it is not resolved or brought up again. I am disappointed it seems like she did not care more about what it meant being a relationship with someone who she did not actually seem to care about. Especially after her last relationship ended because she did not appear to care enough about them.  If she stayed in the relationship because she did not want more conflict and hurt in her life (while grieving Jackson) why could not that have been an explanation instead of «Chris is so great»? 

What did you think of the choices made in the trial-prep episode? I guess they were trying to show Lucy healing through moving forward and leaving her trauma behind her. However, that is not how trauma works in my experience and I think it was a disservice to Lucy to make it so clean cut. 

Also what do you think of her professional development in season 4? I feel like in season 4 she does not seem to have the same curiosity for different types of policing (and no mention of undercover-work for her until 4.22). I think introspection is really what have been missing in the last seasons with a lot of the characters. It is almost like since that they are not rookies anymore, they do not have anything new to learn or do not make mistakes in their police work that can help them grow and be better. They also had some interesting discussions about things they would want to change so they could do their job better in the previous seasons. The last seasons have been very plot-driven and I understand that the show had to evolve and it is harder to include «learning lessons» when they are no longer students, but still. I want to see characters grown both personally and professionally. 

One more thing is that I feel a bit selfish voicing these concerns. So many people worked hard on this show and people spend their free time writing fics so we can get great entertainment. I do not want it to seem like I am diminishing their work. Sometimes I guess it helps voicing things to accept it and appreciate the things that are still great about the show :) Also I would love to hear peoples different opinions on this. I have not rewatched season 4 a lot either because it is not my favorite so people who know it better might have great examples to prove me wrong :) 

I am also ready to get into season 5 more, if you are up for more asks :)

Thank you for answering my ask and posting your thoughts! I can definitely provide some more questions. I was inspired by the response and I have lots more thoughts :D I wrote way too much so feel free to divide up the different sections and post it however you like and answer only what you want.

Well, shit, anon, you really let me have it!  I am not complaining, by the way.  You are forcing my to think and articulate my jumbled thoughts which is great…  But take pity on me, because I’m truly not sure how well I get my point across when given license to ramble about fictional characters that I care about far too much.

All those examples you wrote about are so great. I love to see characters who are sometimes led by their emotions and then they use their head afterwards. I think it also tells us a lot of what is important to Lucy and why she sometimes loses her cool a bit. And I love that Lucy can act immature at times, but that does not mean she is immature. That she can react with anger when people opposes her, but that does not mean she gets angry every time someone disagrees with her. This makes her a very relatable character who is interesting to follow. 

I am glad you found something worthwhile in the two previous ask/answer! I think Lucy is eminently relatable, especially in S1 and S2, where (as a rookie) we get to learn so much about her and see her in a new environment, at a new job, and beginning this big new part of her life - so many people can understand being new to a job, trying to juggle friends and romantic relationships, family problems, while navigating adulthood.  Angela, for all that she’s a bit of a mess, has been on the job for a decade.  I don’t think Talia ever got a fair shake in terms of storylines.  Tim is a great character in those early days, but I wouldn’t necessarily call him or Nolan relatable.  And Jackson (RIP, you were the MVP all along) might be less relatable just because he was finding his way as a nepo baby dude.

I agree that Lucy seems to be all over the place in season 4. She agrees to be Tim’s aide and I know others have written about that as she needing stability after Jackson’s death and I can definitely understand that. It might also explain why her emotional state is less consistent and why she seems to be less connected to herself and a bit less engaged with the people around her. I think there was an opportunity here to show her grieving her friend and everything their friendship gave her. That could have been more of a storyline instead of just being subtext to her actions in that season. What would you have liked to see for Lucy in season 4? 

Look, early on in S4, I was willing to cut the show a lot of slack.  They had abruptly and unexpectedly lost a main cast member, they were still filming under pandemic conditions, and at some point during that season, they got the news that they were going to try introducing a spinoff.  I was one of the people thinking that Lucy becoming Tim’s aide would be a soft reset and let them work together more like partners and deepen their bond while maintaining status quo until they could more calmly and clearly plan out the next arc.  By mid-season, it felt like that was a pipe dream I once had.  My problem with subtext in a show like The Rookie is that it is so open to interpretation that you may well be right - she’s subtly grieving, she’s isolated and withdrawn from friends (because, let’s face it, she has none in S4)...  But that’s rarely, if ever, made clear.  You could be right…  Or you could be totally wrong.  At some point, subtlety becomes ineffective if nobody understands what or why things are happening. 

In S4, honestly, I would’ve liked to see Lucy dealing with her grief and taking risks - not ones that are stupid, but dangerous nonetheless.  Angela is having a baby, so is Nyla (by the end), Nolan has ostensibly found love…  Let Lucy feel the weight of being alone and grapple with taking on UC work (which they introduced and then basically dropped for most of S4?) while she’s barely trained.  Let that same conversation that happened in S3 between Tim and Lucy and Nyla come up and let that be the conflict between Tim and Lucy in S3.  His feelings about UC are clearly related to Isabel but his concern for Lucy is two-fold: she’s barely out of long sleeves and she’s taken hit after hit and had to keep going.  Tim knows exactly what that’s like.  And it doesn’t have to be Tim being over-protective or senior officer, this is hard won knowledge, just like when he told Lucy her scars made her a survivor.

That’s just one of many routes.  I would have eliminated Chris and Ashley entirely, or used them very differently.  Not even as a shipper but I honestly think they contributed nothing to S4 - they weren’t used for jealousy, they didn’t cause conflict, neither couple had particular chemistry.  They were just…  There.

What do you think was the purpose of introducing Chris? Were they trying to give them a similar set-up as Angela and Wesley and flirt through disagreements? She is never really shown talking with Chris. Like you say there are conversations were they both state how they have completely different views on something and it is not resolved or brought up again. I am disappointed it seems like she did not care more about what it meant being a relationship with someone who she did not actually seem to care about. Especially after her last relationship ended because she did not appear to care enough about them.  If she stayed in the relationship because she did not want more conflict and hurt in her life (while grieving Jackson) why could not that have been an explanation instead of «Chris is so great»? 

You know, I’ve discussed to death with many people what the purpose of Chris was.  I haven’t actually come up with a good explanation because his introduction felt inorganic and, even worse, the set up of his relationship with Lucy was so poorly executed that I think they shot him in the foot right from the get-go.  I do think they were trying to sprinkle a little of the “Angela and Wesley” flavour, as if all lawyers are naturally argumentative about everything.  But, in my personal opinion, it didn’t work.  It’s definitely annoying that Lucy seems to get into relationships she doesn’t care about (but I am convinced that what happened with Emmett only happened because the actor became unavailable).

I have settled on the idea that Chris and Ashley were, essentially, introduced to explain why Lucy and Tim couldn’t be together.  “Of course they can’t date, they’re both in relationships, silly!”  I literally see no other purpose to them - neither illuminated anything new about Lucy or Tim, respectively, and neither ended up sticking around so 🤷🏽‍♀️

What did you think of the choices made in the trial-prep episode? I guess they were trying to show Lucy healing through moving forward and leaving her trauma behind her. However, that is not how trauma works in my experience and I think it was a disservice to Lucy to make it so clean cut. 

Oh, that was weird.  That whole episode.  Firstly, I have no idea why Tamara was there.  She is Lucy’s teenage orphaned roommate so of course, she is Lucy’s sole emotional support!  It was completely ridiculous and unprofessional that Chris would be working on Lucy’s prep and he should have recused himself.  Apparently everyone in the office has seen the video so like…  Why couldn’t one of the other junior ADAs have prepped her?  If, for some dumb reason, they absolutely did not want Tim being there even though he was personally involved, why not have Angela support her?  She suffered a similar trauma, she’s a woman, and she was there.  Was she still on mat leave?  No idea, I refuse to rewatch S4 so details are fuzzy.  Or have Nyla be her support - she has been hurt, she’s served in a mentor role for Lucy, she was there.

Let’s move on from that.  The episode actually starts off promisingly in some ways because we see Lucy struggling.  It’s confirmation that this is a trauma she continues to struggle with (in The Rookie’s fucked up timeline, it has been maybe a year since Caleb happened, I think?).  And then Chris hums the song, Lucy reacts strongly, Tamara is (as one might expect of a teenage roommate) locked out along with Chris the trauma-triggering boyfriend, and then Lucy emerges, on her own, and demands to see the video.  Chris, who got a verbal lashing from Lucy in his introductory episode and apparently lost all backbone immediately after, caves (although I tend to agree that this was her experience and she was entitled to see the video on her own terms) and then Lucy just shrugs it off and goes to Chris’ for dinner.

Sure, okay.  How does a day that starts out with Lucy appearing to experience disassociation, flashbacks, and PTSD symptoms end with her laughing with someone who triggered her again later in the day?  Look, I’m not suggesting that people can’t process trauma, mental health, or their emotions/triggers however they want.  In real life, people are complex and varied and resilient and unique.  On TV where there is less time and space to explore those nuances, it very much looked to me like Lucy was casual and carefree by the end of the episode rather than emotionally exhausted and repeatedly subjected to extreme stressors regarding her trauma.  But what do I know?  Maybe the “subtext” is that Lucy is extraordinarily strong and can walk it off no problem because that’s what heroes do.

(in ending, I did not think much of the choices in that episode)

Also what do you think of her professional development in season 4? I feel like in season 4 she does not seem to have the same curiosity for different types of policing (and no mention of undercover-work for her until 4.22). I think introspection is really what have been missing in the last seasons with a lot of the characters. It is almost like since that they are not rookies anymore, they do not have anything new to learn or do not make mistakes in their police work that can help them grow and be better. They also had some interesting discussions about things they would want to change so they could do their job better in the previous seasons. The last seasons have been very plot-driven and I understand that the show had to evolve and it is harder to include «learning lessons» when they are no longer students, but still. I want to see characters grown both personally and professionally. 

Woo, boy, did Lucy have professional development in S4?  I don’t think she did.  She was Tim’s aide and, as pointed out in the episode with Nyla’s wedding, she gets no credit for the arrests even if she played an instrumental role.  I’m not actually sure how being sergeant’s aide is such a big deal when that’s the case.  I would also like to point out that I’m not actually sure what Tim did as a sergeant.  He was supposed to respond to high risk calls and be available as a supervisor on scene but, and maybe I’m remembering wrong, for most of S4, him and Lucy respond to regular ol’ whatever calls when there wasn’t something huge and ridiculous already happening in the episode.

I agree that none of the characters appear to have any self-awareness or display any particular insight or growth in S4.  Nolan’s college classes and the professor who taught about racism and policing basically disappeared without a mention and they just stop talking about issues in policing entirely.  The Rookie seemed to choose a cause, or whatever you want to call it, each season (racism in policing for S3) and they pivoted to…  Women’s fertility in S4?  Except their focus was egg freezing???  They talked about Black maternal health in a previous season and that was SO. MUCH. BETTER. I know a lot of people who have explored fertility options, mostly for the purpose of IVF admittedly, and it is an expensive, painful, and challenging choice to make.  They didn’t discuss any of that.  So overall, I would call it a fail, personally.  Nevermind that Lucy’s dusty eggs and her concern with her mother crossing boundaries was basically ignored forever after.

I get that not being rookies anymore changed the dynamics, direction, and plot structure of the show.  But I think there are ways to continue to grow and develop the characters and explore issues within policing that they did in previous seasons.  Angela talked endlessly in S4 (in fact, I think that was her whole arc) about breast milk and being a mom.  Why not encounter obstacles her rich husband couldn’t solve for her like the guilt of being a working mom?  The danger involved in being a police officer and a parent?  What about the discrimination around promotions when you’re a woman, of colour, and a mother (mat leave often means setbacks and missing opportunities)?  

One more thing is that I feel a bit selfish voicing these concerns. So many people worked hard on this show and people spend their free time writing fics so we can get great entertainment. I do not want it to seem like I am diminishing their work. Sometimes I guess it helps voicing things to accept it and appreciate the things that are still great about the show :) Also I would love to hear peoples different opinions on this. I have not rewatched season 4 a lot either because it is not my favorite so people who know it better might have great examples to prove me wrong :)

I don’t think it’s selfish to voice these concerns or to discuss ways the show didn’t work well and ways it could work better.  I don’t know, honestly, how things work behind the scenes on The Rookie.  I don’t know what their writer’s room looks like, I don’t know how or when they break the season, I don’t know who contributes ideas and writing and direction, I don’t know how much control the show runner exerts, etc., etc.  But there are a lot of things that, for me, didn’t work in S4.  I don’t @ the writers, show runners, actors, or anyone involved in the show (I believe in strong, firm, clear boundaries between fandom and the actual production) regarding fanfic, ideas, etc.  Occasionally, when I livetweet, I might tag someone in a positive comment, but that’s the extent of my involvement with the real people who are working on this show.  In fandom spaces, I think discussion, criticism, and honest, respectful engagement are signs of investment in the show and characters which is a pretty big compliment.

If I didn’t love this dumb show (or the first three seasons, anyway), I wouldn’t still be here after all.

[takeariskao3]

I've never found Pansy interesting and don't know why so much of the fandom like her. But since you'll be writing a Panville fic, I'm willing to give it a shot. I'm Genuinely curious about what you like about her. Could you give us some of the reason why you like her?

so, i'm going to get on a soapbox for a second (or a high horse)

first off, i don't think your message was combative or confrontational in any way! but i do get a little defensive when it comes to some of my preferred ships/characters (especially female characters) because i shouldn't have to justify why i like them or why i find a story arc with them as the central focus interesting. you know?

however, seeing as you do seem genuinely curious, i think it is two fold.

there is a quote from JKR about pansy and it goes something like this: "I loathe Pansy Parkinson. I don’t love Draco but I really dislike her. She’s every girl who ever teased me at school. She’s the Anti-Hermione. I loathe her." now on the surface this is a whatever statement right? how could we disagree with it? of course we loathe pansy, the narrative *wants* us to loathe pansy. she's mean! but when i think about it longer than thirty seconds i get a little cringed out. because when i was a teen, i was the anti-hermione. i liked fashion, and makeup, and traditionally feminine things, i had a large group of friends and i liked my boyfriend. i was popular in the traditional sense of the word. i don't think i was a mean girl but who hasn't ever, in their life, been mean? so does the narrative (author) loathe me as well? i feel similarly about pansy that i do about lavender, that they were written from a place of deep misogyny and by a person who bought into the YA trend that main female characters needed to *not be like other girls* to be interesting.

the other half of my enjoyment of pansy & panville is that i don't like caricatures, and i really like redemption stories. genuinely. and as a fic writer, and a person who enjoys complex characters, typically the worse a character can start out, the more i want to push every button they have until they start learning some life lessons. pansy is PERFECT for this type of story. she was awful. she was raised to be the most bigoted, vapid, vain, conniving, prejudiced bully imaginable. she tried to hand harry over to voldemort! she is every resentment and insecurity rowling had as a middle schooler personified. so, if i take all of that, and try to fit it into as realistic as a person as i can, wouldn't pansy's mindset post-war be fascinating?? does she double down on dogma and hatred, or does she start to see a life and a world without division and is desperate not to be left behind? does she remain selfish and superior? or does she maybe learn there is more than one way to be good and brave? there are facets to her personality that are very queen bee-esque and despite her many flaws and failures, she still has strengths. using subtext, and a little of my own personal experiences, we can deduce that she is: confident, driven, calculating, sometimes wildly ignorant, and not very nice. in terms of a romantic story she is exploding with potential for an opposites attract (hate to love) scenario. neville is humble, content, morally steadfast, and most of all he's kind. pansy can learn a lot from him, but at the same time, neville could benefit from someone who won't coddle his more... wallflower(?) tendencies.

now i won't go into my entire history with hp fanfiction (unless you have enough time to hear ten years worth of experiences) however, i've become pretty attached to this little corner of fic for the reasons stated above. it's no secret that i like redemption stories and enemies to lovers as a romance trope. that's just what *i* enjoy. you do not have to enjoy it. but i do think it is important to think critically about the source material before deciding whether something is worth exploring or not.

i'll leave it with this, rowling has stated on the record that: "Let my girls be Hermiones, rather than Pansy Parkinsons. Let them never be Stupid Girls." and this bothers the shit out of me. i don't think girls should be hermiones or pansys or ginnys or whatever the fuck. i think girls should be whoever they are and not get told that their interests, or their experiences, or their stories are unworthy of being told because they aren't the smartest person in the room. so not only is pansy an interesting character for me to explore, she also feels like a wrong that i can make right. however small of an imprint that leaves on the world. pansy feels like a representation of what femininity is when it is defined at its worst and i intend to tear it to fucking shreds.

TLDR; pansy reinforces girl on girl hate for no other reason than vilification of teenagers, redemption arcs are fucking fire, and the idea of one character's weaknesses being another character's strength is SUCH a good foundation for romance.

thanks for the question <3

[quillyfied]

Okay final episode thoughts that I don’t know that I can expand into real coherent thoughts so heck it we’re doing it live and cramming them together, no chronology just memory vibes, PART FOUR:

- I think part of the problem of it feeling so fast an episode, for me, is the anticipation; I waited to watch it with friends and by the time it was finally happening I had been waiting all day and it was killing me.

- That being said, the pace is breakneck, for something that starts so peacefully

- Love that we get immediate confirmation that Ed is not suited to a fisherman’s life. Though I do love the conflict inherent in Ed meaning “simple” as a compliment based on how hectic and chaotic his life has been up to this point, but of course someone who doesn’t know any of that would think he’s insulting them.

- Also very interested in the shift of Ed going to direct killing rather than trying to put a layer between it and himself; it’s the Kraken but in Protection Mode. Adore that for him. (And maybe the killing doesn’t count if they’re English Navy.)

- I had a feeling Stede was talking to Zheng about being a failure the longer the season went on. Delighted to be proven right. Was also shocked to hear she thought Auntie was dead but then had to reckon with the fact that she hasn’t analyzed a single screenshot and spotted Auntie like I did soooooo

- The simmering anger in my own gut when I saw Spanish Jackie’s overrun and the lady herself treated like that. Also OF COURSE THEY BUILD UP RESISTANCES TO IOCANE POWDER POISON IN THIS HOUSE

- (Side note but the number of ofmd fics, my own included, that have Princess Bride as a reference or element in them makes me smile)

- Calling Ricky Pinocchio. IZZY calling Ricky Pinocchio. The layers. The subtext. The intertextuality. The face-value humor. I’m salivating.

- The letter Ed reads! The way they say the words together!! If they don’t start next season with matching lover’s tattoos (or include it somewhere), I’m rioting.

- THEY GET TO RUN AT EACH OTHER ON A BEACH TO NINA SIMONE FOR REAL THIS TIME

- okay but is Ed’s knee brace a victim of the budget cuts this season bc I miss it

- the entire time they were running at each other I kept shrieking “please don’t stab each other. Please don’t stab each other. Boys please drop the swords and don’t accidentally stab each other”

- KISSIES.

- I LOVE YOU. TWICE.

- Zheng having it up to HERE with these useless gays

- NOT NOW ZHENG THEYRE VERBALLY AFFIRMING THEIR CARE FOR EACH OTHER AND ALSO KISSING

- Olu caring for Auntie. I cry.

- I also cry bc it has seemed to me all season that Auntie and Zheng have a dynamic similar to Izzy and Ed but less deeply toxic; I love that just because it isn’t as toxic, it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t still hurt them both. Auntie choosing to listen to Olu and be softer and more open with Zheng, and Zheng returning the favor, is so important to me. Cannot emphasize enough its sweetness. Especially with Zheng thinking she’d lost Auntie.

- “It’s only a suicide plan if we die” STEDE.

- Giggling to myself at the butt shot bc 1. Of course the guy whose butt it is has a whole post about it where he’s a delight, and 2. Fandom has been begging for them to show hole all season, y’all satisfied? ;P

- Why does everyone look so hot in those uniforms though. Why is Ed putting on a tricorn hat so attractive. These are uniforms that represent imperialist cruelty, WHY IS EVERYONE HOT IN THEM

- (It’s the rebellion of it all I think)

- Awfully bold of Ricky to immediately turn on them when he’s still close enough to be shot, but I think it’s his Rich White Boy recklessness.

- Con O’Niell giving the performance of a lifetime to the very end. The subtlety of Izzy not being okay through the entire mad dash to the Revenge, culminating in him leaning on Ed AND Frenchie and the implications of that I EXPLODE

- So. Turns out my final mini theory about that bloody hand screenshot from the trailer was right; it is Izzy’s blood, and it is Jim that Ed’s hand is blocking.

- Izzy giving the apology we have been waiting for all season as a deathbed confession, HECK

- And giving voice to the fact that he loved and needed Blackbeard! And that he knew he was feeding it even though Ed had OUTGROWN it!! And giving Ed closure and release from having to be Blackbeard!!! GUUUUUHHHHH.

- I really didn’t think izzy was going to die until three days ago. Im so sad. It’s thematic and perfect and if someone had to die of course it had to be Izzy and they did him right by that death scene but I CARE MORE NOW. CHEFS KISS STORYTELLING.

- This end bit, to my memory, feels a little scattered and messy; Zheng wanting to work together to get back at Ricky…and then the ship sails off without Ed and Stede. Maybe I need to watch again but I got some whiplash there. Like yeah it’s way more important to the story that Ed and Stede get at the very least a break from piracy before the next season, more in line with the themes and character arcs, but. Idk. Felt sudden still?

- Pete and Lucius marriage ;A; “you may slash each other’s faces” ROACH PLEASE

- YES ED WE SEE YOUR ROMANTIC SIDE EYE

- FRENCHIE IS THE CAPTAIN NOW. Capitalizing on that quiet arc he’s had all season!! I love it!!! And showing that all of the Revenge crew have it in them to be leaders and the best versions of themselves when given an environment where they can. And now they have capable women aboard! Win-win!!

- I need to go dig up my post about the hollowness and toxicity of revenge in this show bc I have more examples to add to it and strengthen my theory

- Ed and Stede about to go through their Anne and Mary arc. Let’s hope they pivot faster than the other two and don’t get stuck in a rut the same way. But I love that they get to try this out together, to find new dreams and things to do together. They deserve that.

- I also respect the showrunners so much for giving us an ending that could be a decent end if Max doesn’t renew for a third. I like being able to hold my two favorite shows next to each other and see that the two extremes of ending in an uncertain place work—for GOmens, a heart-shattering cliffhanger was absolutely the right call. For OFMD, a soft ending that can be expanded on if allowed. I love them both.

- Gonna go rewatch and then rewatch the whole season and then rewatch both seasons, excuse me.

[skatehepburn]

💗 Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Spread the self-love! 💗

okay i famously am not a joiner so i don't know that i will reciprocate (but open call to @skyirons my fandom hopping bestie ilu) but thank you for asking!

i think most people on here followed me originally for hacks but i am a bit of a fandom hopper and a rarepair lover so this list will run the gamut:

"Til Sunbeams Find You," Dead to Me. Jen/Judy summer camp counselor AU.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2526286

I don't love this fic for the writing, but for the fact that someone hopped into the comments and asked me if i was on stan twitter (i was not, but i made a fuckin' account), and thereby introduced me to some of my now very dear friends. Was DTM fandom a hot fucking mess? Yes. Do we ever need to talk about s3 Again? No. Did my DTM standom give me MS? Inconclusive. But this silly show and trying to make these two characters kiss got me through some hard times and i'll always be grateful!

2. "5 Times Mary Jo Shively Almost Kissed Julia Sugarbaker (and One Time She Did)," Designing Women, Mary Jo/Julia (natch)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21707404

Just what it says on the tin! Someone commented on this fic recently so I reread it (love to never recall anything I've ever written) and it was fun! THE SUBTEXT IS SO STRONG in canon and yet there's not near enough fic imo. Due for a DW rewatch, is what I'm saying. I always enjoy getting to write southern characters as someone who's lived in Appalachia all my life 🫡

(this fic is also one i could show my twin without having to redact the smutty bits lmaooooo)

3. "who's gonna lay in your lonely bed, who's gonna love you like me?" Dragon Age, Bethany/Isabela

https://archiveofourown.org/works/36349606

I'm sure Dreadwolf will get me back into the DA trenches but Bethany/Isabela has gotta be my rarepair otp. I seldom want to read a player character fic for an RPG (with the exception of maybe FemShep); I'm always drawn to pairing off the sidekicks. There's just so much AFFECTION between Isabela and Bethany in the party banter, and Bethany gets such a short end of the stick by the narrative that I really had to let her get her world rocked by the swarthy sailor with a heart of gold.

4. "in the morning i will sing," Baldur's Gate 3, Jaheira/Karlach

https://archiveofourown.org/works/55430185

Most recent fic is always gonna be on the fave fic list, that's just the way it goes. In my first playthrough of bg3 my character pined for Jaheira unrequitedly and in my second I'm romancing Karlach as Shadowheart, so why not combine the two into some smut with a side of party banter! And I clearly have a thing for a bit of an age gap/hero worship dynamic as evidenced by *gestures at ao3 account*

(also tr*cy w*les's chronically online era is not helping my jaheira fixation... love that she ships her with everybody tho we stan an absolute icon)

5. "ring the bells that still can ring," Hacks, Deborah/Ava

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32184166

firstly: i wrote this fic so i could make that shrek/leonard cohen joke. i'm sorry, or you're welcome, as appropriate.

secondly: i wrote this fic before so many things happened! hacks season 2, developing an incurable progressive chronic illness, getting married myself!

my wife rarely reads my fic (they support it fully! including meeting fandom friends on our honeymoon lmaoo luv u [redacted]). but i will occasionally gently ask if they'll take a peek at something, because, well, they're the person that taught me everything i know about love, so it goes into the writing!

it took them a long time to read this fic (or it at least felt like it), but when they did, they sent me a notesapp full of annotated reactions... 6 months later , after a decade together, they proposed in a drivethru.

which is to say: i'm pretty sure this fic is the reason i'm currently married, so it will always be my favorite <3

[formula-fun]

First of all, love your fics! Ur really talented! No pressure at all but do u know when the next update is gonna be? Could u recommend us some lestappen fics to read until ur next chapter? 😭🙏🏼

Hiiiii baby, thanks so much!!! I know I say it a lot but I truly do mean to have it out in the next few days! It's at about 12K right now and I've highlighted three sections that need better transitions to the section after them, so I basically have three short scenes to write and then proofreading, and then it'll (hopefully) be good to go. Thanks so much for waiting, and it's always nice to know people are excited about it!! I swear I'll try to have it out to you as fast as possible <3333

I should probably do a long official rec list soon as well, but there's a short one for you under the cut!!

/krak ʃɪt/ - @xiaoluclair - series - i love love love crack always and forever, and this is absolutely perfect. If you need something light and short to cheer you up this will have you set for the rest of forever. Their vibe is so fuckin good and these always make me laugh so hard!

on the limit - @drivestraight - 6.8 - this entire series is gorgeous, but I want to recommend this part in particular because even as a standalone I think it's really really brilliant! It's packed with so much subtext and such a punchy start to a series that ended up changing the way i think about this pairing, i love it

all this happened, more or less - @lightningmickqueen - 10.3K - the drama the melancholy the intrigue the overall vibe!! i reread this all the damn time and honestly it never makes me any less insane. fics with tweets and headlines worked into them never fail to make me lose my shit, i just love it and this is so well done

oui chef - @actparci - 16K - this is like if f1 met the bear except honestly the bear could never. i want to eat this fic and not just because it's about food. the found family restaurant vibe is perfectly done and everything about it just works, and I love Max and Charles' whole dynamic in this but also the way it builds up into them being work spouses. also max mother henning his friends is something that we will literally never have enough of fuck ya!!!!

+1

Where The Heart Is - @gemjam - 57K - this isn't lestappen and is a little older but it belongs on every rec list i ever do because it was one of the first f1 fics I ever read when i was introduced to the sport almost 10 years ago! i was a certified ferrari fan and red bull hater from the beginning, but the vibe of red bull as a little family compels me to this day and is simply so so essential and still so real. we have been shipping ferrari drivers with red bull drivers for ten long slutty years and we will continue to do so. It's also so good as a coming of age story!!!! it's honest and awkward and life isn't always perfect and people don't always behave their best whether theyre kids or teenagers or parents! Nobody has it all figured out, but they choose to keep trying every day and they love each other the best they can and i could honestly write an essay about how much that meant to me when I was 16 but also how dear to me that idea is at 25. also this fic introduced me to spanish tortilla which was a massive win, and it made me want a farm as a teenager and now im an architecture student and i understand workaholic adrian on a spiritual level. like this fic is so rich ive been screaming about it for a whole decade if you want to try something different give it a shot