#we dont hear every person's thoughts consistently

[pinkrabit]

Any ship w jiang cheng that ends happily I will immediately enjoy bc I identify so.closely with him

My special guy

[shigayokagayama]

gender+random headcanon for tome? or tsubomi, whichever one you're feeling

why not both?

tome:

Sexuality Headcanon:

lesbian!!!

Gender Headcanon:

trans girl! ive actually thought about this one a lot but her whole arc of like. coming out of her mostly male friendgroup and trying to totally remake herself to fit into a girl friendgroup and make herself more palatable to girls her age before realizing that all her friends have weird hobbies too and you dont have to stifle all your interests to fit in with other girls fits the experience of a lot of trans girls i know

A ship I have with said character:

her and keiko from the reigen manga

GAY PEOPLE

A BROTP I have with said character:

her and mob's friendship is very special to me but her and the whole telepathy club ouuughhhhhhh alien arc my beloved... i miss when youd get like 20 posts a day of her and takenaka messing with each other with telepathy shenanigans they mean the world to me. i also think she and teru would get along really well theyd be terrible influences on each other.

A NOTP I have with said character:

i really cannot see her with mob i know this is punching down because theres maybe 1 person on the planet who ships this but theyre definitely a "mob-kun youre my best friend and i love you but i would never date you under any circumstances" sorta friendship. also not really a notp just a "?" but of the possible femslash ships i feel like her and tsubomi appeals to me the least. probably just because they never interact and we dont know enough about tsubomi's interests to know if theyd have anything in common. it gives "pair the spares but we dont like mezato" to me.

A random headcanon:

tome mentions in one of the semi canon anthologies that kijibayashi asked her out when they were first years and im incorporating that into my worldview. i also think she and takenaka had a like one week long middle school "relationship" that consisted primarily of them being too awkward to speak to each other or be in each other presence until they broke up over text just because it makes alien arc even funnier. also more of a reigen headcanon than a her headcanon but in the context of reigen manga i think it makes sense if reigen was very similar to her in middle school then when he was approaching highschool he was like "well i cant stay passionate about things forever" and dedicated himself solely to being a good student and good employee til he burned himself out.

General Opinion over said character:

she is solidly my second favorite mp100 character i love her so so much shes so special to me shes like. level of favorite character where i get excited handflaps seeing art of her. daughter of all time.

tsubomi:

Sexuality Headcanon:

aro lesbian is fun for her i think!

Gender Headcanon:

one of my friends really likes transmasc tsubomi and i respect the vision. boy fans be like "not yet"

A ship I have with said character:

mezato and tsubomi. listen. listen to me. of all the femslash ships it makes the most sense. every time we ever hear mezato talk about tsubomi it gives "dear dumb diary". that girl is one long psychoanalytical speech about this girl she's never even had a conversation with from realizing she's bisexual and i think tsubomi would find mezato a really interesting person to interact with. they'd study each other like bugs. it's perfect.

A BROTP I have with said character:

her and mob staying friends is really important to me i like them a lot </3

A NOTP I have with said character:

honestly none really, like i said with tsubomi i dont really get tsutome but i dont dislike it. i prefer her and mob as friends but i dont necessarily think them getting together like. years post canon really ruins the message of the show or anything bc the whole point of the confession arc is that he was chasing this fake image he'd built of her as this perfect person so them getting to know each other and dating in the future wouldnt really ruin that i dont think.

A random headcanon:

i think she's a music person!!! one of her fanbook interviews mentioned that she likes to scream as loud as she can in empty piano rooms and it kind of put the idea of her going into music theory or smth when she's older into my head

General Opinion over said character:

i really really like her and find her narrative role interesting and i both wish we got more of her but also understand that knowing tsubomi would kind of ruin the plot of the show. seeing her only as glimpses and trying to extrapolate who she is through that is unfortunately the point </3

[skiiyoomin]

ღWhat the JJK characters listen to part 2

ʚCharacters included: Yuuji, Megumi, Nobara, Inumaki, Yuuta, Maki

⤑Back to navigation ⤑part 1

a/n Nobody asked for a second part. Do i care? no. idk if im missing anyone anyways YO THIS IS FUN

Yuuji Itadori

Honestly, he screams Shakira to me, and Jennifer Lopez too.

His entire music taste consists of 2000s pop music thats super nostalgic and at the same time makes you cringe.

ALSO, he has the Backstreet Boys on repeat. Like literally on loop all the time.

Tried, keyword tried, getting into classical music just to seem cultured and fancy but he ended listening to piano covers of Call Me Maybe and Britney Spears.

He´s the type of person you´d take with you to do carpool karaoke cause you know he´s gonna play the songs everyone knows.

Honorable mention: NewJeans (cause he´s secretly not so secretly a kpop stan)

Megumi Fushiguro

Isn��t it obvious?

He´s SO Lana Del Rey coded.

ALSO, he had a Melanie Martinez phase that´s really not a phase but he says it is.

Other than Lana, he listens to soft beat type of songs, like Cigarettes After Sex, Men I Trust or Clairo.

Even if its not his usual vibe, he lowkey highkey really enjoys Coldplay after Yuuji showed him one of their songs, especially their softer tuned songs. (aka Sparks im gonna cry hol up)

Honorable mention: Billie Eilish

Kugisaki Nobara

SHES A BARBZ ALL THE WAY

Her whole vibe is hot pink and a hot girl typa gal. That applies to her music taste as well.

Shes very much into female rappers like Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion too.

And lets not forget the classic pop stars like Ari or Jessie J.

Shes honestly in that sense a lot like Yuuji. They both connect because they listen to a lot of older pop music, except Nobara listens to more girly ish songs or in general songs that are very much female empowerment (queen behaviour)

Honorable mention: SZA (she had Kill Bill at full volume on repeat every time the boys annoyed her)

Inumaki Toge

Okay listen. I see a lot of headcanons that Inumaki is a huge gamer, like Fortnite type of gamer.

The first thing i thought of when i thought of this was dubstep and electro music. Also underground beatboxing.

Like bro i´m sorry im not but to me gamers are equivalent to that when it comes to music and im telling yall cause i had A PHASE (very cringe one we do not talk about it)

I also feel like he tried to be emo once but he only got as far as listening to Twenty One Pilots which isnt even emo so.

Honorable mention: Pitbull, he started listening to him as a joke because of the memes but its not a joke anymore

Yuuta Okkotsu

Ok ok to me he´s very soft boy coded, kind of like Megumi but more bright and cheerful.

HES A SWIFTIE. I dont make the rules sorry

You know that 2020 phase where everyone listened to soft music like Clairo, mxmtoon, Conan Gray, etc? Yeah he never got out of that phase.

BUT, hes evolved yall, his top genre is indie music.

lowkey feel like Inumaki got him into Twenty One Pilots and now he uses their music as an excuse to scream. He´s hella good at rapping their songs too like zayum.

Honorable mention: One Direction cause he never got over their disbandment

Maki Zenin

HEAR ME OUT

Before yall say anything listen to me.

I had to think this one through but shes very much rapper vibes to me, like og 2000s rappers like 2pac and Eminem.

I dont even know WHY but she just screams west coast thug life type of music.

Disses on modern rappers except Kendrick Lamar and MAYBE Travis Scott but thats saying too much.

I´m also convinced Yuuta introduced her to Joji and she cried in her room afterwards.

Honorable mention: Bruno Mars, dont ask

[trans-axolotl]

(Apologies this is long and rambley)

So ive been thinking on a peer-made trait-based 'diagnostic model' (not for disorders but neurodiverse traits), rather than the way the DSM and ICD do it and what that would look like and if it would be a good idea to propose as an alternative that focuses the patients unique experiences over theorized model boxes with misleading names.

Ive been growing increasingly discontent with how the ICD and DSM both categorize disorders, and the completed alternate models ive seen that already exist are not much better honestly, and worse for my specific brainfuckery. The alternate models that only focus on one section are just that- focused on one specific experience. Monotropisim as an alternate autism model can never be fully realized in the bubble it exists as a theory in. Plurality has like 50 different theory models and half of them aggressively ignore common reported experiences because they don't work with their unverified personal gnosis theory of everything, and the other half are likewise mostly incomplete. Trauma/cause-based models ignore genetic/from birth issues as a known cause of mental illness/developmental disorder and also consider everything trauma to the point of diluting the term.

I figured the best option would be to group traits by perceived experiences or related phenomena, with overlap, and the best way to do that accurately would be to make the 'diagnostic codes' combinable infinitely. (ex- a category that is 'unusual sensory experiences' with synthesia, hypo and hyper sensitivity to stimuli, needing to regulate with the sensory system (stimming) to high degrees, hallucinations of any kind, voice hearing(would also go under the plural category when consistent and personlike in presentation), visual snow, etc and each trait is a unique string of characters you can stack under the category string to create a larger string that describes your experiences quickly and concisely).

(The groupings are still all up in the air and id want to get a lot of perspective before cementing it, but I do want to put synthesia and hallucinations and visual snow all together because they are adding a Weird experience and its sensory based stuff others cannot perceive)

And then I realized that this is just the Geek Code but for neurodiversity,,

Im STILL not sure if that makes it a bad idea or not honestly.

On one hand the way the DSM and ICD are set up is NOT actually that great, and being able to shorthand a list that describes things better and doesnt pathologize people as having 'asshole liar personality disorder' or whatever would be fantastic, on the other it is also clunky, people are gonna be pissed about how I am categorizing things contrary to how the DSM and ICD group things (autism and schizophrenia and plurality are all holding hands and kissing with tongue), and it may more strongly encourage people to share very private information online via sharing their string code of every last neuroweirdness they have (which I do NOT want people doing for safety reasons).

So I just went 'hm, whos a cool antipsych person who may have more insight than I do about trying to make a peer-made description system for those who dont want to use the DSM or ICD to describe their experiences', and I thought of you, so thoughts? Is it feasible? Is it a good idea to try? I have like 500 million projects and I REALLY shouldnt add a new one of this magnitude, but I feel like its an important idea to at least float around first.

Hey anon! My answer got pretty long, so I'm going to put it under the read more.

I actually know a few people doing something like this--the founding director of Neuromancers started a project like this (not much has been happening with it lately, bc everyone is so busy with other organizing commitments and life, but if we ever get back to it i'm really excited about it. you could join the discord for Neuromancers and ask about the project if you want to join). I'm a known DSM hater and think that both the DSM and ICD and most biomedical models of mental illness as well as the "evidence based" processes of diagnosis are so fundamentally flawed, oppressive, and are in no way culturally relevant to the vast majority of people. a lot of us are still going to use that terminology as a shorthand because it's the most accessible and understandable in our current society, but that doesn't necessarily mean we all like it or agree with the way it's formulated in the DSM.

Honestly, I'm always a big fan of mad/mentally ill/neurodivergent people creating more ways of understanding ourselves and creating more resources for us to use. I think that there's never going to be one right model that works for every experience or than can encompass everyone. And I think that there's so much value in really deconstructing and dismantling the DSM--understanding exactly how disorders are currently categorized, the evidence behind it, the lack of evidence behind it, what clinicians and researchers are saying about these diagnoses, how we actually experience these diagnoses in practice, how diagnoses change through history, things like that. It can be super crucial to build our own understandings of just how these diagnoses were shaped in the first place so that we can understand what it would mean to dismantle and build alternative models that feel more affirming for us. I think your idea of trying to group more by traits rather than strict disorder criteria is something that might resonate with a lot of people!

that being said, i think that it is such a large and difficult project and also something that is almost impossible to make universal--there are so many factors going into everyone's experience with madness/mental illness/neurodivergence, and different labels are going to resonate with different people for different reasons. it's hard to predict what language or models will catch on with different people, and not all types of language or models are accessible to everyone. i guess for me i just think it can be helpful to go into projects like this without the expectations that this will necessarily be able to replace the DSM for everyone, and instead thinking more about how this can be a valuable tool for providing more options and ways of thinking about madness/mental illness/neurodivergence! even if it doesn't work for everyone or is only applicable to certain types of traits and variations, i think that this type of creation of knowledge is so, so valuable. i hope that makes sense!

some other related concepts that your ask reminded me of was @bioethicists principles of liberatory antipsychiatry. Charlie identifies the right to your own explanatory model as a key principle of liberatory antipsychiatry, and that liberatory antipsychiatry should affirm and build upon those individual models, and respect that as a way of healing. I think that's a really important insight, and to me makes a lot of sense. We all have the right to draw from our own experiences + minds, as well as use existing knowledge, science, and disability community experience in order to create alterative labels, models, and frameworks for our madness/mental illness/neurodivergence. I honestly feel like I've created my own hyperspecific model of madness for my own bodymind, and that framework has been super helpful for figuring out how to live with my madness. Idk how helpful it would be for anyone who isn't me, but having my own particular explanatory model was crucial for helping me heal.

It also reminds me of the way this really amazing peer support network for people living with schizophrenia in Japan called Bethel House, who developed a framework for radical peer support and healing. This article talks about the concept of tōjisha-kenkyū, which in English would get translated as something like "self directed diagnosis" or maybe "political education," and it seems kind of similiar to English concepts about self diagnosis.

"Self-reflection is at the heart of this practice. Tōjisha-kenkyū incorporates various forms of reflection developed in clinical methods, such as social skills training and cognitive behavioural therapy, but the reflections of a tōjisha don’t begin and end at the individual. Instead, self-reflection is always shared, becoming a form of knowledge that can be communally reflected upon and improved. At Bethel House, members found it liberating that they could define themselves as ‘producers’ of a new form of knowledge, just like the doctors and scientists who diagnosed and studied them in hospital wards. The experiential knowledge of Bethel members now forms the basis of an open and shared public domain of collective knowledge about mental health, one distributed through books, newspaper articles, documentaries and social media." (Japan's radical alternative to psychiatric diagnosis, Satsuki Ayayais and Junko Kitanaka, ).

Anyway, thought I'd share those things to sort of point you in the direction of other people thinking about madness outside of the DSM. if you end up doing any more thought or creation for this idea, def feel free to share with me! I love seeing all the ways people take apart the DSM and build our own knowledge, and would love to keep updated.

best of luck, anon!

[machianery]

unatructured episode thoughts;

short and sweet. i dont mind the length so much because what we got is really good. unlike the latter half of IBS which was, it seems, a barebones version of the original intended plot, this is the entire thing. it stands on its own.

absolutely yelling about the cave fight section. the commander's voice acting was exceptional. my heart. oh god. (i have nolan north but ive heard good things about all the other voices) i do appreciate hearing such emotion from them; it feels like a wall broke down and everything came flooding out.

i think the moment where the cmdr felt the air get punched out of their lungs was the oni fully "connecting" to them. latching on and beginning to sift through the deeper, older memories. when we face them again in the next episode i expect a similar moment.

the use of almorra was perfect. it was a definite callback to jormag using her voice to lure us in over the comms.

i also like the ambiguity of the oni's affect on us. is it unresolved trauma? is it the oni affecting our emotions? its whatever you want it to be.

im reminded of the maze section in the bjora marches story. when the cmdr hears voices they yell "Stop it!" i do appreciate the consistency.

i wonder where this "the cmdr is soooo tired" plot thread is going to lead us. because dragging them along to every new adventure while they still feel this way would just be cruel. so are we going to get to rest? will there be an episode devoted to healing? maybe the map challenges will be "chase butterflies in a field" and "fight off eager questgivers." maybe there will be a collection quest where we go to various chill spots in central tyria and /sit or /sleep for five minutes.

this may also be a good opportunity to add personal housing. to give the commander a place where they can be alone.

either way, i feel it would be cheap to conclude the plot thread with a singular solution. just one moment where the commander feels good again and is once more eager to go adventuring. i would prefer them to instead gain a support system and coping mechanisms that remain in place afterwards.

[loversj0y]

im crying over techno again (this is long and sad im sorry)

i miss him so much man. i hope he knows how much he did for all of us. ive been rewatching old wilbur videos and seeing him in them brings me so much bittersweet joy. he meant so much to all of us. i hope he knows the ways he changed us.

he was my final push to start streaming. i was inconsolable the night he died. the week after i kept thinking about how long i’d pushed off the idea because i simply didn’t think i had the time. something about losing someone that you even just perceive as being close to you gives such a shift in perspective that i figured at that point it’d be stupid not to. and the thing is, he was so incredibly supportive. of every last one of us. he always supported the people in his community.

its a big thing in my life honestly to live in his memory. usually people say stuff like that in a negative connotation but i dont think its negative. i hold his memory close to me as a reminder of the things that ive lost. and its a comfort in a sense to let his deadpan mockery push me to be better and to do things i might fear doing.

he has a space on my ofrienda. i pray to him in the same way i pray to all the family i have lost because even without knowing him personally, he welcomed us all enough to allow me to feel like there was a family with him when my own felt incendiary and volatile.

i think about the fact that lovejoy is playing a festival with the killers. its a festival im incredibly excited to go to, but on nights like this when im crying over a lost brother i never had, i feel saddened in knowing how much he would have loved to have seen it. i think he will be there, watching. but the feeling wont be the same. i think of how wilbur must feel. knowing that he’s playing a festival with the same band that he’s not only loved, but that he shared his love for with techno, to the point that it made such a strong lasting impression on techno. i hope he knows how proud techno is of him. i hope that if he stays to watch the killers perform, he feels techno with him. because i know he’ll be there.

i have a lot of thoughts on how much he meant to me, to all of us, and im kind of just pouring them out in a stream not unlike the tears that wont seem to stop tonight. if i can be honest, ive been avoiding a lot of stuff related to techno. i took a step back from everything as a whole because it hurt too much and i didnt know what to make of it, not really. i keep finding myself mourning how little time i got to have as an active techno watcher, given how recently i joined the fandom and such, but i also know i should rather feel thankful for every second that i got to have. i find myself avoiding a lot of mentions of technodad still. he’s lovely and he means so much to all of us, just like his son, but i cant help but feel my chest reopen each time i hear him speak about his son. ive seen the feeling of watching a person you love mourn a family member who was taken too young personally. ive seen it in my own family with my cousin, and it all feels so heavy. i know there is this narrative of being thankful for the time we had with a person. but i still consistently find myself balanced on the precipice of anger and acceptance. i dont struggle with bargaining or depression, let alone denial. i know hes gone. i know nothing will change that. but i also will never be content in feeling appreciative of the time we had because we could have had more time. even if it was just a. second more. it wouldnt change things but maybe it would ease the ache in my heart as i think on all of the people who loved him who will live past him, myself included.

i keep coming back to the song life worth missing by car seat headrest. i cant quite explain where i find the parallels but i feel it in this delicate balance that i find in the song. theres this delicate balance between grieving and losing yourself in grief and im not that sure that ive found it. for a control freak, one of the things that always has hurt me is my lack of control in death. i cant change it. and all i can control is the way to cope but i simply dont know how to do that. and the temperamental part in my head is the battle i find myself fighting because i know how he wouldnt want this. he wouldnt want the heavy grief but i dont know how to not feel it. i find myself feeling the heavy grief or essentially nothing at all.

and theres quiet, kind moments throughout it all. when i think maybe i can hold his memory and move with it. but those moments dont last long. but they mean more than any other part of this whole process. when i hear him in my head, making fun of me for not putting myself out there. when i feel him supporting me as i feel unstable and shaky. regardless of your thoughts on religion or my own, i know that he is there. whether it is real or it is in my head, both are substantial enough to give me faith. and isnt that religion in and of itself?

i know that all the things we wanted him to know, about how he changed us, how much he meant to us, all of it. i know that he knows them. but i still am allowed to mourn that we never got to feel him know them. am i allowed?

i think im allowed. i think he’d allow it. i think he’d understand.

because when i feel whatever sense might lie in my convoluted ideas of religion and my strong sense of morality, i know one thing above all.

that he understands.

[ulysses-but-somehow-more-transer]

Hello, sorry if this is a personal question, but I have always been curious about this:

How do the people within a system talk to each other? (i hope i have used the correct terminology, and i apologise if not)

Is it like telepathy where you can hear each other, or do you need to leave each other notes?

Sorry for the intrusion, have a good day

first of all dont worry! your phrasing is respectful and were open to these questions!

the main thing to know is that its reaally different from system to system. some people hear each other voices or sort of telepathically speak. some people can communicate directly through emotions and images without words. some people speak out loud while co-concious. some people have no internal communication whatsoever and use notes or similar things to communicate.

almost every system i know has more than one of these methods and often different headmates have different abilities or preferences.

now for us specifically:

(im jan and speaking about my personal abilities) i can talk to some of my headmates semi telepathically and while i dont hear their answer literally like outside i hear it roughly how you "hear" your own thoughts. this is mostly possible whith the headmates that rarely front and have a stronger foothold in the headspace (the frequent fronters spend very little time there) i can also communicate directly through abstract thought and emotion with them without having to put things into words. im currently only very rarely able to talk directly to members of my subsystem (base, consisting of me, jonny and ts, possibly or partitially theria). we communicate through physical notes and this one is hard to explain but through memories? we dont have amnesia barriers so if for example i have a question for jonny i will consider it, say it out loud, think it out loud etc and wait for jonny to front who will remember asking the question and answer it then. this is slow but easy and low effort. for theria its a mix of both of these.

i hope this is helpful and answered your question. feel free to send more asks or dm me if not

[abe--the--babe-blog]

tinted windows

tinted windows make my mind numb

don't need hash to get high

don't need you talk, just drive

take me on a road that never ends

we can stop at mcdonlads and make amends

gas is what we need

what we need is not always how it seems

i don't admit to ideas that aint mine

my opinions come straight from the mind

tho it might controlled, tho its a different person

at least im not behind this wheel this time

fuck looking back and fucking looking forward

all i want to do is reach the sky

but my sky is different from yours

my sky has no ending

my sky has no nice guy

my sky will forever be my sky

sometimes i ride with you just to see you looking up at me

and forever knowing there will be no we

and forever knowing you depend on me

and forever knowing that you has no i

what you are is not what i am

because what i am is something i don't know

and what i don't know the world don't know

there were things i wish i said no to

this is a toast to the unknown

the only thing unknown, is you and i

so please drive in your tinted car

i don't want to hear a verse or a bar

i don't want to hear you talk

i don't want to listen to you talk

i don't want to be part of who you are

but don't you want my ideas?

don't you want my drive?

don't you want our dreams to be our realities?

haven't you had fantasies fulfilled because of me?

fucking drive and shut up

wish i could forever control you how i want

wish i could forever choose what i want hear

not what you want me to hear

fuck your drive and fuck your ideas

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

hope you need this dream

like i need it

but will the devil use his hellblade on me

will the devil become you and we

do you like my tee

or do you like the hellfire behind the cotton

is it the burn marks that turn you on?

or is it your enjoyment to see the remaining ruins of the war we call self-discovery

is this the love you dreamed of?

or you dreamed of a love that can never happen so you can remain dispersed from reality

this cig might fix my problems

my problems is that im too forward

but will i reach a point where i have gone so far that I'm reaching behind

my sexual desires is a get away for me

my sexual desires i can get for free

Devilish, insane, and gentle

is what you'll see if you look to deep

wish you could see my thoughts

it consists of you and i in bright bright pink and gold

so can you please drive and not talk to me

i need to talk but just not with you

so can you shut up before i go insane

can you merge lanes

can you not

because i really need this specific design for a tee shirt i made

i really need to show people i much i make

so i can feel good for two seconds and do it again

why aren't you answering

why are you quiet

oh no i did it again

i guess i need sleep

i guess i need to weep

because society told me it will all blow over in the moring

i will feel like a man again in the morning

i will feel like I'm not boring

i will feel like the world isn't burning

when i say the world i mean myself

no this is not a cry for help

shut the fuck up and don't give me advice

i will forever be better than you

and never admit what you said was true

but drive

only thing i need you to do

only thing i want you to do

drive so i can be free from this curse

drive

drive

drive so i can feel high

drive and dont try

drive and dont talk

because your silence is better than everything

everything that might come out of your mouth

every idea you might think of

every thought you thought was yours

because everything you are is everything i am

just with a little more emptiness

[neverending--ending]

Someone ate too much and feels too sad, so now he yaps pessimistically about love.

Love seems like a lie. A distraction, delusion, hallucination, redirection from the truth that life consists of suffering and we all exist to use and get used; life is the thesis of the ever deeper honesty. Perhaps my opinion is invalid for I have never "loved" nor been "loved". All of my "crushes" lasted less than one week and sprung up after a stranger asked if I was okay during my lowest in depressive episodes, and I would never think of them that way once I went back to baseline depression.

I've never seen proper love either. While I do believe my father loves my mother, his language is through gift giving. And I do not believe my mother loves my father, but tolerates him. They are not "married because they love each other" but "not divorced because they tolerate each other." My mother "loves" him when he does nice things, and bitches about him every time he passes by, wishing he was gone, when he is not.

I also lack a good first impression. My mother told me to never date, for pregnancy equaled homelessness. Then, she told me to never marry, for marriage is a lie. Then, she told me to never date masculine women. Then, she gave me permission to date whatever girl I want, but any aspect of the relationship must be kept to myself and any trouble I have with the relationship must be kept to myself, for she did not care nor want to hear it. Thus, I learned that it would be problematic to develop feelings. I would be treated as a nuisance. If she was abusive, or broke up with me, I would have a plethora of feelings to force down for those would render me a nuisance.

And while I never actively thought this until now, I subconsciously knew this, and it has manifested through aroacity. [Made up term for aroace] I've concluded its aromanticism because it is egosyntonic; it doesn't bother me. Now, I dont think all aspec people have some lore or reasoning for their aroacity, I dont think many do. And if they do, its still valid. If anything, I'm only bothered when I feel excluded from the group for not having a relationship, or I'm judged for never having feelings. Though that may be because I don't plan on living long. Part of me wonders if I'd be upset if I could see myself living until 70. But I can live a good 20-25 more years, pernamently alone, before I have my first and last kiss with a GF00. I am unsure if i am passive or active, or on that borderline wherein a bit more access would make me active. But also, I'm terribly lazy, and I'll probably keep delaying it until I die of some common health condition.

This is also because I have seen "real" love, and it honestly makes people annoying. The blushing, the obsession, the stupidity one degrades to when suffering the illness of "love". Why would I be in love when I have seen love make a friend annoying? Irrational? Prone to accepting abuse? Willing to die for someone they just met, and likely wont remain with, especially if I think back to high-school. Love makes people weak. I don't hate lovers, I just hate what love can do to people. The definition of love also seems quite weak. By the most common explanations, I'm in love with many, so many that I know it's none of them.

Besides, I'm already in "love" with my ed, based on the way normal people treat their crushes. Everyone says personifying it is annoying, but it's quite comforting. I'll never make any posts treating my ed as a person though. This is just an imaginary lover. That I'd be stupid for. That I'd die for. That I'll take abuse from. That I'll be irrational for. And frankly, it's all I need.

[scribeforchrist-blog]

I Am Not Natural; I Am Spiritual

MEMORY VERSE OF THE WEEK

=========================

+ Hebrews 13:8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

=========================

VERSE OF THE DAY

========================

+ 1 Corinthians 2:14 The natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned.

=========================

** SAY THIS BEFORE YOU READ; HERE’S SOME CHRISTIAN TRUTHS **

I AM RELEASING THE BAD

I AM STANDING ON GOD

I AM NEEDING JESUS

I AM PRAISING GOD WITH EVERYTHING IN ME

********************************

THOUGHTS:

=======================

When someone is paralyzed,  they are unable to move their body; a lot of times, this happens when something has happened, or the nerves are damaged, or if they get an infection in their body; however it happens they lose mobility of the body, sometimes the whole body and sometimes half it just depends, but it happens they are need of serious care, they can't do things on their own they usually need someone to help them.

One morning I was done praying. The Holy Spirit showed me a body that couldn't move, and as I looked closely, it was a spirit standing near this body. And he showed me the spirit leaving, and the person was able to move again, and when it drew near, the body went into a paralyzed state again. 

  I heard the lord speak to me and say that the people of God are paralyzed by what they allow in, and the people of the world are being paralyzed by what they dont understand a lot of times; what happens is we as believers don’t take it serious about the things the lord is trying to ask us to stay from, we don’t hear him when he speaks we don’t try to stay away from the things of the world we JUST compromise. We make excuses for why we are allowing certain things to occur in our lives. The people of the world take no notice of anything because they don’t understand what they are doing, and to the extent we do, but some of us dont care too much about our spiritual life to make the change.

   In this verse today, the Holy Spirit wants us not to be the natural person of this verse; he wants us to understand and be spiritually discerned; when we are like this, we won't allow the things of this world to paralyze us. A lot of times, not able to move from a situation, we say we are too invested, but God is saying to let go. Sometimes, we are paralyzed spiritually because we are letting the infection of sin penetrate our daily lives so much that it is causing us to be more of a problem than anything. How long will we allow the enemy to paralyze our lives spiritually? How long are we are going to allow what we see to enter into our eyes and take charge over our bodies? A lot of things we watch and see are hindering us from growing spiritually; that's why we must be careful what we watch and careful of what we do. 

  “1 Corinthians 4:20 For the kingdom of God does not consist in talk but in power.”

This world has no power; this world can only tear someone down with words and actions, but it has no true power, but God has true power; God has power over everything in our lives; How long will we sit and allow this world to think it has power over us and power over what we do? We have to start telling the enemy no and rebuke him and telling this world you can't have power over me because I belong to God. God gave us power, and God gave us strength, but we must walk in it. As long as we are like this word, power is gone, and this effect of our sins paralyzes us; sin doesn't make us grow; sin doesn't help us connect, and sin disconnects us from God every time. 

  1 Corinthians 2:13 And we impart this in words not taught by human wisdom but taught by the Spirit, interpreting spiritual truths to those who are spiritual.

  ��When we study the word and we allow the Holy Spirit to teach us, we are being taught by him, and he can give us such a deeper meaning than what anyone could ever give us; the truth is we will forever need the Holy Spirit to grow deeper to change, as we change and grow we learn but when we just ignore the Holy Spirit& We refuse to change; we become paralyzed because people being in this state is connected to this world; they don’t take notice of the things that cause this, but if we genuinely notice, we will see that something is off because we can discern the moment the disconnect happens , so the question is asked again How long will we allow our spiritual life to paralyzed us ??? 

***Today whatever God is asking to you to release , please listen ,this spirit that I seen , will stay and paralyze your spiritual life as long as you are being disobedient, this spirit will cause you to waver , this spirit will cause you to not understand the word because that’s what this spirit does , we must let go of anything the lord is saying to leave alone we must genuinely turn our heart away from the things of this world , this world is temporary but God love and word stands forever. ©Seer~ Prophetess Lee

========================

PRAYER

========================

Heavenly Father thank you for helping us through our tough times , we only have you and need only you ever day we struggle with something and we surrender it to you . Lord help us to draw closer to you . Lord if we are ignoring you please help us to turn from our ways and hear your voice . Lord we need you to be part of our life . We rebuke the spirit of disobedience and rebellion ,we rebuke the spirit of unbelief and anything carnal right now we turn to you today father we release it all to you in Jesus Name amen

========================

REFERENCES

========================

+ 1 John 2:27 But the anointing that you received from him abides in you, and you have no need that anyone should teach you. But as his anointing teaches you about everything, and is true, and is no lie—just as it has taught you, abide in him.

+ John 10:26-27 but you do not believe because you are not among my sheep. My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.

+ Matthew 16:23 But he turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a hindrance to me. For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man.

========================

FURTHER READINGS

=========================

Proverbs 7

Exodus 8

Judges 2

1 Thessalonians 3

=========================

[magnetofanboy]

I know this post is gonna sound totally out of left field but ive been thinking... i dont wanna vaguepost on main because the person I’m thinking of as I write this has apologized profusely and taken steps to rectify their mistakes, so I’m not trying to call them out or anything, but its making me think a lot about the relationships we have to our ancestry and our need to feel connected to our past in the wake of systematic erasure

As people of color, we often don’t have the privilege of being able to trace our ancestry back the way that many white people can list their ancestors in a direct line back to like the 1700s or whatever part of northern europe they came from like. To me it’s just wild that someone might know the names of their great great uncles or whoever. Many of our family histories rely mainly on verbal recountings, especially for those of us who have been subjected to colonialism, displacement, lack of official recognition, assimilation, etc etc and as such, our family histories are shorter, less detailed, and have many gaps. Ancestors who immigrated might have lost their family name to fit in better, or lost connection to their other family members. Family information is less likely to have been passed down because those who wanted their children to assimilate to the dominant culture might avoid talking about their childhood, like where they grew up and who their parents were. Not to mention the extensive history that the US and other colonial powers have with placing children of color in white homes and further disconnecting them from their past.

So for this reason, the idea of tracking down our ancestry/genealogy is incredibly tantalizing. Like, I know that I’m central thai and that my thai grandparents are from... somewhere in China but that’s it. And that’s a lot more info than many poc have. and I would give a lot to be able to know more about my heritage, but it’s likely impossible unless I’m somehow able to track down some incredibly obscure immigration document from decades back or something. And I’m sure many other poc are in a similar boat. Sites like Ancestry.com, sites that track last names, these are very heavily biased towards white europeans and often have incorrect info if they even have info in the first place. So those of us who know the least about our heritage are also going to have the hardest time getting information on it as well.

Anyways, all that to say that if you’re a person of color, and you want to know your ancestry/genealogy, please stay safe and make sure you’re confident that whoever helps you out has the diverse skillset required to deal with different racial backgrounds. It would really suck to be given just plain wrong information about your family based on faulty research or something.

[atlabeth]

everything happens for a reason part one - zuko x fem!reader

I am not your concern 

masterlist | part 2 

summary: as a servant in the fire nation, you’ve learned that life is often unfair. but as you venture through a tumultuous relationship with a certain prince, you come to learn a very tricky lesson: everything happens for a reason.

a/n: im so excited about this guys you dont even know. i have so much planned and i hope you all love it as much as i do - just for reference, in this first chapter y/n is 9 and zuko is 10

wc: 2.3k

warning(s): mentions of a raid, reader and zuko both being little shits lmao

chapter title comes from not your concern by the hush sound! 

Y/N sprawled out on the grass and sighed contentedly as the sun shined down on her and her mother. Today was easier than most as they had been given the day off, an occasion that was rare in the royal palace. She closed her eyes and breathed in the fresh scent aerating their surroundings. Her senses were blessed with a mix of sea salt and fire lilies, an ever present reminder of the two worlds she walked in.

“Y/N,” her mother chided as she glanced down at her daughter from her sewing. “You shouldn’t lay in the grass like that. You know how hard those stains are to get out; I don’t need even more work on my plate.”

“Yes, mother,” she sighed as she sat up with mock exasperation. “I just feel like I should take advantage of this! We spend all day inside, and now that we’re out here you’re worried about things like stained clothes.” Y/N pushed herself to her feet and spread her arms out as she spun in a small circle. “Life is short, and I already spend all of it sewing and healing. Don’t you think I deserve some grass stains?”

“Did you find your way into the poetry books again?” she joked. “Of course I think you should have fun, but you know how things are here. I’m just trying to keep you safe.”

She continued to twirl, the soft breeze a welcome sensation on her skin. “I know, I know, but you don’t need to worry! I can—”

“Dear, watch where you’re going!”

Her mother’s warning didn’t reach her in time, a fact that became known to Y/N as she collided into the boy in front of her. A small gasp escaped her as recognition filled her now wide eyes.

“Prince Zuko!” she exclaimed, nervous hands finding their positions as she bowed. “Please forgive me for the accident, I didn’t realize you were there.”

Y/N had never spoken to the young prince directly — she mainly shadowed her mother while she did her work around the palace or honed her healing abilities under the watchful eye of Rika, their most skilled healer — but she knew enough to understand that she was to never disrespect the royal family in any way.

“Don’t worry,” he said with a small smile, alleviating the tension that had built up in her shoulders. “I’m sorry too, I wasn’t paying attention either. I actually came here for some help.” As she straightened her back, she noticed the bundle of fabric he was holding. “Are you Kura?”

“Oh, no. That’s my mother.” She pointed behind her where her mother greeted the prince with a respectful nod and smile of her own. “Did you come to get something fixed? She’s the best seamstress in all of the Four Nations.”

“My daughter flatters me,” Kura chucked. “What is it that you require, Prince Zuko?”

“She’s right, actually.” He held up the bundle of cloth which Y/N now recognized as one of the many outfits he owned. She didn’t consider herself a jealous person, but the prince’s extensive wardrobe was an exception to that rule. She had one set uniform for her work supplied by the Fire Nation, and a threadbare set for everything else that her mother had bought for her after saving up what little copper they had to spare. Y/N didn’t mind it too much as she was able to practice her sewing whenever the seams broke, but she was sure that her handiwork made up more of the outfit than the original by now.

“I tore one of the sleeves while I was training with Azula,” Zuko expressed with a frown. “I showed it to my mother, and she said that Kura would be able to fix it. I had to go through every single servant to find you, so I really hope you can. ”

Kura set her current project down and took the cloth from the prince, examining it with the skillful eye of a seamstress before meeting his eyes with another smile. “Of course, dear. I should have it ready for you by tomorrow; my daughter will deliver it to your quarters around midday.”

“Do it well,” he demanded. “I can’t focus on my training if my clothes are falling apart.”

“Hey!” she spoke up, scowling as she crossed her arms. It was like every shred of sense Y/N had disappeared the moment he talked down to her mother. “This is our day off, so you should be thankful that my mother is taking time out of her day to do this for you. Be nicer to her.”

“Y/N!” her mother scolded, her tone frantically apologetic as she turned back to the prince. “Please, forgive my daughter. She speaks her mind far too often, she doesn’t mean any disrespect.”

“No, you’re right.” A thoughtful expression found its way onto the young boy’s features, his eyes trained on her own displeasure. “My father always talks that way to the servants and I guess it came off on me. I’m sorry. It’s not nice.”

“Apology accepted,” Y/N said reluctantly.

“Thank you for your help. I’ll make sure to tell all my friends about your work.” The young prince smiled and walked off, though not without a curious second glance at the girl who righted his wrong.

As soon as the prince was out of range, Kura began to berate her daughter. “Y/N, by now you have to understand that under no circumstances may you ever speak to a member of the royal family like that! Do you know what kind of punishment you could’ve gotten if anyone else was around to hear that?”

She sighed and settled back on the ground, plucking a blade of grass from the ground. “I know, mother, but he needs to learn manners, prince or not!”

“That’s not how it works here. Our job is to serve the royal family without question. Sometimes they say mean things, but we can’t do anything about it. Apologies are not yours to demand or accept.”

“That’s not fair,” she mumbled as she wrapped the strand of grass around her finger. “Back home I could say whatever I wanted.”

“I know, honey, I know. But we’re not at home anymore, so the rules there don’t apply. We have to follow the rules that are put in place here. Can you promise that you’ll do that for me?”

“Yes, mother.” It was a phrase that seemed to always be at the tip of her tongue now that constant apologies were littered throughout her days, usually accompanied by a sigh.

“I miss home,” The murmured sentiment was almost too soft for Kura to hear and her heart sank. Her daughter’s gaze was trained on the ground, idle fingers tapping against her legs, and she put a momentary pause to her sewing with a sigh.

“Dear, don’t you have a healing session today with Rika?”

“You know I don’t,” she grumbled. “It’s my day off, which no one seems to remember.”

“Y/N.” Kura’s voice was more firm and she now understood that it wasn’t so much a suggestion as a demand. “I think you should pay Rika a visit.”

She heaved an exasperated sigh and stood up in a far more exaggerated gesture than necessary. “Alright. I’ll see you later tonight, mother.” And as Y/N began her walk back to the palace, a sour feeling brewed in her chest.

Kura watched on, unable to prevent the fear that permeated her thoughts. They were fortunate that the young prince was generous, but along with his mother they might’ve been the only two who shared those views in the royal family. She hated having to constantly admonish her daughter — the girl was too young to constantly live in fear, especially having already been through so much — but in the Fire Nation they couldn’t afford to do anything less. A spitfire girl like her daughter was constantly treading on thin ice, and it was all she could do to keep her safe.

Kura feared the day when she wasn’t there to protect her.

-

After a short walk that consisted of muttering things to herself and taking her anger out on the pebbles unfortunate enough to be in her path, Y/N found herself back at the palace. She let herself into a side entrance meant only for servants and set on her way to the infirmary when she collided with someone else — an apology was already on the tip of her tongue when she recognized it was Prince Zuko once more. She truly had rotten luck.

Y/N shot quick glances around to ensure that they were alone, then lowered her voice just for extra security. “My mom says I’m not supposed to talk to you like this, but I don’t care. Just because you’re the prince doesn’t mean you can just go around bumping into people!” she whispered angrily.

“But— you were the one who bumped into me the first time!”

She could feel her face heat up from embarrassment and she crossed her arms. “Just— whatever! Do you want something or do you just like popping up in places you're not supposed to be?”

“I guess I just wanted to talk to you,” Zuko shrugged. “I’ve never really seen you around before, and you’re interesting.”

Y/N scrutinized him trying to find out if he was tricking her somehow, but after staring at him for a solid ten seconds she finally caved. “Fine,” she said, already beginning to walk. “But you’d better make it fast. I have to get to a healing session.”

He took a few quick steps to catch up to her and frowned. “I’m the prince. Technically I could order you to stop and you would have to listen.”

“Yeah, well when it’s just the two of us, you’re just another boy. I don’t have time to talk to boys for hours.”

His brows creased for a moment as he thought about it, then ultimately shrugged once more. “Okay. You said you were going to a healing session- does that mean you’re a waterbender?”

She nodded, and Zuko waited for her to explain further. He heaved a sigh, realizing that he was going to have to carry this conversation. “Well.. what’s a waterbender doing in the Fire Nation?”

She fixed him with a puzzled look. “I’m a servant. That’s why I’m here.”

“I know that,” he frowned. “But most of the servants here are from the Fire Nation, and there are hardly any around your age. I’m just trying to get to know you better.”

Y/N sighed heavily — she now knew that the child prince of the Fire Nation had zero sense of boundaries, and if she wanted to get him off her back she had to answer to his satisfaction. “My mother is a waterbender from the Northern Tribe. She left home when she was young to travel the world and help who she could with her healing, and eventually she fell in love with an earthbender. That was my father — they ended up marrying and settling down in his village where they had me a few years later. Last month, my village was raided by the Fire Nation, and my mother and I were captured after they discovered we were waterbenders. And now I’m here, being annoyed by a prince.”

Zuko frowned once more — it seemed if he continued hanging out with this girl the expression would be stuck permanently on his face — and he suddenly felt ashamed for pushing. “I’m really sorry,” he muttered. “I had no idea.”

She heaved another sigh and shook her head. “Yeah, well they probably keep a lot of the bad things they do from you. It’s easier to send raids to destroy families when your children don’t know.”

“What happened to your father?” he questioned.

Y/N’s body stiffened, and she had never been more thankful to see the infirmary door. “Save your questions for next time,” she grumbled.

Zuko’s eyes lit up, her earlier stumble going unnoticed, and a small smile found its way across his lips. “There’s gonna be a next time?”

She managed to cover up her own growing smile with an ambivalent shrug. “As long as you don’t bump into me again.” Y/N opened the door and gave him a polite parting nod before disappearing inside.

“Good afternoon, Master Rika,” she said with a small bow. “I know this is unexpected, but my mother insisted that I come here to—”

“Let me guess,” the older woman interrupted with a raised brow. “Kura got tired of you and sent you here to annoy me instead?”

Y/N chuckled and rolled her eyes good-naturedly as she pushed the sleeves of her tunic up to her elbows. “When have I ever annoyed you?”

“That’s a question you don’t want me to answer,” she joked as she rummaged through the closet to get supplies. “Besides, what was that smile for? Meet a boy on your day off? A girl?”

Her eyes widened momentarily and she felt the heat rush to her cheeks intensely. “I don’t ask you about your life while we heal, you shouldn’t ask about mine!”

Zuko, who had been eavesdropping by the door in an extremely un-covert fashion, felt an even bigger smile. The girl was prickly as a cactus, but he found himself strangely drawn to her — not in spite of it, but because of it. He was so used to anyone he talked to outside of his immediate family and friends bending at the knee to fulfill his every will, and it was exhausting at times. But this girl — Y/N, as he had learned — was the complete opposite.

He started to walk away, sure that he was late for some kind of session of his own. Zuko found himself thinking of the glimpse of a smile he got, already finding himself scheming up ways to make it return.

And despite her request, he was almost certain he would try to bump into her again.

[luckyasfuck]

maybe i just wanna be yours [k. bakugou]

A CAMBOY AU SERIES - PARTS 1, 2, 3, 4, [5]

pairing // katsuki x female reader

tw // cussing, smut

warnings for this part // oral (m and f recieving), hair pulling, face-fucking, exhibitionist kink, spanking, praise, dacryphilia

theme // enemies to lovers au, camboy!katsu au, college student!katsu and reader au, no quirk au

keys // y/n

words // 1.8k

a/n // IM SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG I DONT DESERVE YALL. pt 6 at 250 likes and 20 reblogs btw!

previous part

y/n has been alone in the library for about an hour now. she didn’t notice katsuki’s absence until she had to change subjects to study, too indulged in the textbook to look up. no messages were given by katsuki about him being late and she grumbled, rolling her eyes. she writes the name of the textbook on top of the page in her notebook and the library door swings open. 

a calm katsuki walks towards her, ash blonde hair kinda messy and his black hoodie all over the place. with an eyeroll, y/n went back to writing on her notebook while handing the textbook she just used to him. “you’re la-”

“why’d you block me?”

the sentence made the girl look at him with a glare. her hand stops writing, her body stiffens and her hands start to sweat. “what the fuck are you talking about?” she avoids his strong gaze, looking back down on her notebook. katsuki fumes at this, pulling out his phone as she started to write again.

the notebook is closed harshly, a phone being slammed down on it as it displayed her account and the block message. she looked up at the fuming boy as he gripped his phone tight, gazing down at her. “none of your fucking business.” she replied, putting the cap on her ballpoint pen. about to glare at him again, a gasp erupts from her throat when he grips the collar of her shirt, pulling her towards him.

“why’d you block me?” katsuki’s breath fanned right on her lips, his eyes locked right into hers. she sends a death glare his way, grabbing his wrist and detaching it from her collar. “it was the right thing to do and you know it.” the blonde rolled his eyes as y/n dusted her shirt off, fixing her collar. “great, now it’s loose.”

heavy steps make the h/c turn her head to the sound, only to be grabbed by the shoulders and sat down harshly. katsuki towered over her, “unblock me now.” 

“i see no reason to.” stray students walked inside the library and y/n is quick to shove katsuki away from her, they chatter and sit on a table near the front. they don’t acknowledge the two students who were here before them as they laughed loudly. 

y/n sighs, mood completely ruined by the dumb blonde and class skippers. speaking of the dumb blonde, he eyes the students as well, dragging a chair and sitting down beside y/n right before she got up to return the textbook. vermillion eyes stare right into her ass before they’re torn away by her voice, “go get a fucking textbook.” 

the math section is where it all goes downhill.

hands show up either side of y/n as she’s reading through the contents of the math book. about to turn around, she stiffens when a warm, sculpted body presses up against her back. 

katsuki’s crotch brushes up against her rump, his pecs right against her back. “what the fuck are you doing?” the pressed up girl returns the textbook to its original place, trying to even out her breaths. the blonde moves back a little, a hand gripping y/n’s shoulders to turn her around. “will you stop pushing me around?! you- mhmp!” 

a pair of lips slams against hers mid-sentence, a tongue instantly prodding against her lips asking for entrance. the hands encaging her roam her body, one staying put on her hips. “don’t you ever shut the fuck up?” katsuki slurred against her lips as y/n put her hands on his chest, “says you.” 

the next thing the blonde knows, he’s pinned to a shelf. the shelf falters slightly but this doesn’t bother y/n, instead she presses herself against him while connecting their lips once again. 

now that was definitely unexpected. 

“you want it or nah?” katsuki pulls away, hands disappearing underneath her shirt. “i’m afraid you’ll be too loud.” he smirked, groping her left boob. “me? too loud?” y/n tilts her head to the side, her hand traveling downwards to squeeze the males evident bulge, making him whine out quietly. “says you.”

“i’ve watched enough of your stupid lives to know how loud you can be.” the students chatter loudly in the distance, making the both of them aware of their presence. for some reason, the librarian wasn’t here to check up on the shelves every now and then. perfect, y/n thought as she got on her knees, grazing her fingernails along the side of katsuki’s bulge. his cock twitches under her palm as he covers his mouth, breathing heavily. 

his cock was pretty. of course, she’d seen it on multiple lives, but seeing it right infront of her, his pink tip leaking and his veins throbbing. it hit different. without warning, her lips encage his cock head, licking at his the pre-cum dripping down his slit. a beautiful moan escapes from katsuki’s parted lips as he threw his head back onto the shelf filled with books. chatter and footsteps approach the both of them, growing louder by the second. 

“hey, sto-” katsuki warns, trying to push the girl away from his cock. the students walk to the section of shelves right behind them, laughing about getting a book named whatever that was. ignoring the statement, y/n pushes his cock deeper into his mouth, hollowing her cheeks and swirling her tongue around. the weight of it felt amazing against her tongue as she slowly fit all of him in, struggling and gagging. she pulls away, a thin string of saliva connects her to his cock. 

“oh don’t stop now.” katsuki glared, grabbing the back of her head and pushing her back. “fucking suck it, so these students right behind us knows whose cock you’re choking on, yeah? it’s my cock.” for reasons unknown, the students behind them didn’t hear a thing, probably too busy being idiots. y/n only nods, continuing her job, stroking the places she can’t reach. “poor girl, you need help?” 

a harsh grip on her hair and she gags audibly again, hoping the idiots behind katsuki didn’t hear it. slowly, he started fucking himself with her mouth, admiring the way she looked up at him, saliva drooling down her jaw and onto the floor. the tip of his cock hits the back of his throat and he groans. “did you hear that?” a slightly muffled voice asks and the laughter and noise ceases. y/n and katsuki’s hearts drop, but she can’t stop now, could she?

with a faster pace, she starts sucking again, looking up at katsuki with a smirk. “we should go check.” they hear and y/n’s heart pace picks up, licking at the prominent vein of the blonde’s cock. “fucking filthy exhibitionist.” he mouths as the group of students start to investigate. right about to catch the dirty doings of the duo, they’re called by the remnants of their friend group to go get food. “too bad,” he threw his head back, hard footsteps and chatter slowly disappearing in the distance until the library door finally closes, leaving the room silent. “they didn’t see me fill your throat with cum.” he says, finally shooting his load into your mouth. 

the library consists now of katsuki’s moans and y/n audibly gagging here and there. “your turn.” the next thing she knew, she was bent over the desk they were studying at. “we were supposed to study, weren’t we? okay.” he let out a deep chuckle, opening the textbook she used to study. “page 357, what is knowledge?” the cold breeze of the air-conditioned library made her shiver as he hoisted her skirt up, groping her ass and thumbing her clit. “i... i haven’t gotten to that page ye-”

spank.

“ow, fuck!” the slap stung, and katsuki chuckled, kneading her ass cheek with the same hand he used to spank it. a thumb grazing the wet patch in her panties. “page 17, what is psychology?” y/n gulps, legs quivering. “scientific study of... of mental process and behavior...” the tension is thick when he doesn’t speak, she tries to look back at him to see what he’s doing only to be cut off by a moan when one of his fingers dig inside her, slowly moving in and out. “the more correct answers you give, the faster i go. the more wrong answers you give, the slower i go. understood?”

“u-understood.”

“page 137, when was behaviorism introduced?” fuck, y/n didn’t like numbers. katsuki stops moving his fingers and she whines, trying to pry her brain for the answer. “1913...?” a sigh leaves her lips when he starts moving again, a little faster now. “good girl.” this went on for ten more questions, her ass stinging, legs giving up, and tears rolling down onto the table. she had already cum twice, mind becoming hazier and hazier with each question. “that’s it baby, one more question. page 270, which theory of abnormal behavior stresses the importance of current experiences and the persons view of themselves?”

y/n felt his cock prodding at her entrance and she whines, thrusting back to try and get it inside of her. katsuki puts the book down, gripping her hips and pinning her wrists above her head. “nope, answer the question first.” he teases, rubbing her slit up and down with his cock. “existential theories.” she answered proudly, a small oh, yes leaving her lips when he slowly bottoms out inside of her. “good girl, you like being fucked out here? when anyone can walk in and see you?” 

the size of his cock was amazing, it felt amazing. the females eyes lull shut, gripping down at the table with her fingers as katsuki picked up his pace, heavy balls slapping her clit with each thrust. y/n can only nod, face contorting in pleasure as skin slapping, her whines and his grunts bounced off the four walls of the library. “good girl.” he says for the millionth time, bending over to give her shoulder blade a kiss. “fuck! g-gonna cum again!” she warns, legs shaking and sobs leaving her lips. 

“so pretty when you cry,” katsuki whines out, thrusts growing sloppier and faster. “so. fucking. p-pretty.” a loud moan escapes both of their lips and his hips stutter, shooting his load inside her. he thrusts a few more times, prolonging their orgasm. soon, he pulls out and they’re both panting. with a swift movement, he spanks her ass one last time before pulling her panties up, keeping his cum inside. 

y/n is still fucked out, drool and tears all over her face as she got up from the table. katsuki grabs a chair and moves it to her, slowly sitting her down. “you hurt anywhere?” he tried to act cool while snatching her phone, offering her his jug. “fuck off, i see you taking my phone. unblock yourself if you want, i don’t plan on watching your stupid lives anyway.” she choked out, wiping the thin layer of sweat on her forehead. katsuki rolls his eyes at this, unblocking himself and unfollowing all the other camboys you had. 

“we’ll see about that, pretty face.”

next part [ not yet available! ]

taglist

@princesspeach-00 @tamakisropebunny @bakugous-mamas @ll379333 @j1-914 @gazelle-des-pres @trashpandainahat @dickinson-67 @victoriaestein @graybabyxx @apex-legends-dreams @bokuwhorez @karicho @marinwestward @fondontinta @ambi0311 @aghase-nct91312 @toxicempath @katsukichu 

[caroldantops]

hey! im quite new here and i have seen a lot of talk about readers interactions and i was wondering what is the best way to support my favorite writers (like you) because i think i have been doing this wrong and i really want to support writers who do this<3 ps. sorry if that was confusing, english isnt my first language

not confusing at all babes! you're 100% clear.

also can i just say, i very much appreciate you asking this. i would much rather more people speak up and be like "hey, we dont know the best way to support our favorite writers so how can we?" other than just. Not Knowing and Not Doing Anything.

so, im going to speak from my own personal experience but also what ive seen many of my mutuals/writers i follow talk about. this might get a little long but i wanna answer as thoroughly as i can because people should know!

im putting it under a read more because it got hella long, but please i encourage everyone who reads fics but don't interact to read and consider these things.

fellow writers i encourage you to reblog and add any other commentary you think is helpful!

before anything else (this is absolutely not directed at you, anon, you're perfect), i just want to get this out of the way. never come to a writer's blog and get angry with them for complaining about lack of engagement. like jesus christ. writers are putting hours of work on tumblr for you for free. the least we ask is for comments and reblogs. that's it. if you go and act shitty towards writers who ask for more engagement, yet still follow and wait for the next fic, like what are you even doing bro. just stop.

anyway. now let's get to the actual question!

basically all writers on tumblr will agree, reblogs are vital. and i feel like that gets said a lot but maybe people dont actually understand how impactful it is so lemme give an example.

so let's say hypothetically i have 100 followers. that is 100 potential people who see a fic that i post (i say potential because timezones exist so you might not see it as it's posted)

and let's say one of my followers (Person A) reblogs it, and they have 50 followers. that's 50 more people that can read the fic.

and let's say Person B followers Person A and they also reblog it to their 50 followers.

with only two people reblogging a fic, that's already doubling the number of people who have read the fic.

now imagine Person C followers Person A and reblogs the fic, and Person C has like, 1,000 followers. that's so much more exposure for the writer.

and that's only from two followers of the writer. so imagine if all 100 that read the fic reblogged it? the numbers skyrocket at an exponential rate.

plus, more people reading means that the writer could get more people follow them. so they get a more consistent audience.

likes, on the other hand, do not guarantee this exposure. i would say that most people don't have their likes public on tumblr. and also, even if they do, i know that I'm not about to scroll through people's likes rather than scrolling thru their blogs. likes up the notes, and that's about it. of course i understand liking a fic so you can come back to it later, i do that all the time. but if I've liked a fic, i always reblog it once I've read it.

now, say you're reading hardcore smut that you might not want on your main blog for whatever reason, so that's why you don't reblog a fic. look, i get it. sometimes irl people follow your blog, or sometimes you just don't want people to know what you're getting up to. but that's why i made a sideblog specifically for fics.

this entire blog BEGAN as a way for me to reblog fics i liked. and then it grew and grew and grew into all this. not saying that you have to start writing if you do that of course, but i guarantee, i'd rather see a small sideblog blog with like 3 followers reblog my fic than a blog just like the fic and leave. because that's still 3 more people who will see my fic and possibly read it and reblog it. 3 is better than none.

comments. reblogs are important, but comments are really what keep writers writing. they inspire us with new ideas, help figure out what it is that people enjoy from us, help us improve our writing, and most importantly, they make us feel good. and like writing and posting is worth it.

now, i know that sometimes it can feel awkward reblogging with a comment directly on the post. i even usually don't do that unless it's with a friend. but here are some alternatives/tips!

send an ask or DM! if you're really intimidated, sending an anonymous message is by far the easiest way to bypass that awkwardness.

write in the tags!! i cannot express this enough. comment in the tags. ramble about the fic. just put three tags worth of screaming. literally ANY comments in the tags are my favorite thing. i promise you that writers will scroll thru like basically every tag.

also, if they post it on both tumblr and ao3, don't feel weird about giving a little comment on both! i do that all the time. you can even be like 'hey i read this on tumblr first but wanted to say again how much i enjoyed it' and that is like, heart burstingly nice to hear.

also, if you're having trouble coming up with something to say, my like top commenting tip as both a writer and a reader is point out something specific that you like about the fic. when i comment on a fic (this is moreso when i comment on ao3 bc my comments are always longer there) i try to point out a particular line i like. literally if you just copy and paste it and go 'wow i really really like this line especially' that is the number one way to a writer's heart. seriously. it's the simplest thing, but it makes SUCH an impact.

however, if your comments are only asking for more fics, then that's not a comment, that's a request (which not all writers take).

saying something like 'hey i loved this fic a lot! if you have more in store for this in the future, i'd be really excited to read it!' is a million times better than 'will you do a part 2'. i know they don't sound that different, but i promise you that the tone makes a big difference.

(i honestly have more thoughts about good ways to get over commenting fear/know what exactly to comment that doesn't feel generic, so if people would like me to make another post about it i'd do it.)

and last but not least, if the writer has a way to donate, like a ko-fi, that always is so appreciated. of course, take care of yourself first, but if you have a few bucks and wanna show some support to your faves, that's a great way to help :)

oh! also, if the writer ever reblogs those little ask game things, just send them something! engagement outside of writing is also so much appreciated.

i think that's about everything i can think of! i hope this is helpful and that my explanations weren't confusing (if i need to clarify anything let me know). and again, thank you so much for asking! even doing that shows that you're a reader who cares, and that means the world ❤

[yandereskiss]

Yandere Light Yagami Hc

Warnings: Yandere Themes, toxic relationship, manipulation, nsfw 

sfw:

♢ We all know Light is a manipulative asshole, so it’s only natural that he would manipulate you every chance he got, just so things would get his way. Lying is his second nature, and if you aren’t smart enough to see through his facade, there is a high chance that you will fall right into his arms. 

♢If you have a bf/ gf, concider him/her as good as dead. Light at first will try to get you two to break up, or slowly make you drift away from your partener, so he doesn’t seem suspicious. He will first approach you as a friend, that will slowly become a knight in shining armour in your eyes, whenever you got into a fight with your darling. If you don’t break up with him/her besides him consistent tries, he will write their name in the death note without a second thought. He will also make sure to be there to comfort you while you cry into his arms about the person he killed. 

♢When you two get into a relationship, it depends how he’ll treat you based on whether you know if he’s Kira or not

♢If you don’t know he is Kira, he will be the perfect boyfriend. He will appear as sweet, caring and loving. If you do know he is Kira, he will be a little agressive and not as caring. 

♢If you know he is Kira, he keeps talking about how he will make you the godess of the new world all the time and how you will rule beside him.

♢He hugs from behind often. Especially when he is stressed. 

♢you two have a lot of study dates 

♢this man can be very romantic if he wants to.

♢candlelight dinner. thats all i have to say.

♢He actually dreams of marrying and having a family with you.

♢He refers to you as “love”, or “godess”. Maybe even darling sometimes.

♢If you ever think about leaving him, he will reveal that he is Kira (that is if you don’t know already), and start threatening you about how he will kill you, your friends and family if you break up with him. 

♢If he notices you’re scared of him and refuse to give him affection, the threats will start again.

♢he can be very controlling (with what you wear, your friends, etc. i don’t like this headcanon very much but i can picture him doing it)

nsfw (if you know he is Kira):

♢knife play and blood kink. I don’t know why i just picture him liking both of them. 

♢He gets turned on by seeing you crying. 

♢Has a thing for being called “Kira” or “god of the new world” in bed

♢definetely a dom, but will let you take control once in a while (if u dont know his secret, that is)

♢praise kink

♢will body worship and expects you to do the same

♢the first time he saw you naked, he almost lost control

♢likes to see you tied up because it makes him feel more dominant

♢roses and flower petals on your bed for when you come home. and candles with your favourite scent

♢He doesn’t like putting any music on during the deed, he likes hearing the sound of slapping skin and your soft moans

[fan-clan-fun]

Also I wish the concept of using power struggle as conflict was explored more deeply. I thought that Tigerstar as a villain was good, but I think it could be way more interesting. Say we have a strong warrior who was a big candidate for being deputy, but due to an injury, is now no longer able to. So the warrior thinks that they should have been deputy, and starts a scheme to become leader. I feel that would of been more interesting than just "oh yeah he's evil because of his mentor"

I absolutely agree. I believe warriors relies too much on (unreliable and inconsistent) set of morals of who is in the right and who is in the wrong. Though perhaps its the lack of consistency that frustrates me most. But if they were to give up on having a right or wrong which also dictated the afterlife of their characters and stuck to completely morally gray it would actually make more sense.

I havent read past Omen of the Stars arc, but what I hear about most recent books makes me want to headpalm. Like... if they had just said EVERY cat goes to Starclan because it is simply THE afterlife, that would actually allow for some more interesting plot complications. How can you trust that the Starclan cat you are talking to has your best interest in mind? Maybe you would be more inclined to trust the Starclan cat who trains you in sketchy tecniques because there is no flashing neon red sign that says EVIL, EVIL MAN, EVIL BASTARD BOY IN BAD PLACE. It would also explain some of the TERRIBLE decisions of cats who were let into Starclan when they really shouldnt have been like Ashfur. I mean if he was just in Starclan cause everyone is, it would explain why he would have to circumvent other spirits to get his revenge on the real world but.... sorry this has become a tangent.

Yes, power struggles are absolutely a fascinating way to cause tension without having to cause extreme drama and cosmic power struggles from dark spirits....anyway. I personally use this in my rewrite pieces. My Tigerclaw is not the evil to end all evils, instead he is a guy who was shaped by his surroundings, by his treatment by his peers due to his father leaving, by his treatment from his mentor, and by other aspects. He is still morally gray and has serious anger issues, which play into some of the iconic moments of the series, such as his attacking Tiny as an apprentice, and him attacking Bluestar in her den. But the situation with Bluestar has a different feel to it, because her choice to make Fireheart deputy is actually not supported at all in the clan, since he is so young and Tigerclaw ends up doing the job anyway. Bluestar in my WIP character sketch is also a much more ambiguous character, and the things she does are driven by several other issues. I found that in Bluestar’s novel her choices dont make much sense and it is completely unrealistic for the clan not to realize what happened to her kits. So instead she trades two of her kits to Riverclan in exchange for Sunningrocks to be returned to Thunderclan, which is why the attack that starts of Into the Wild is so much more meaningful. To Thunderclan its a sign that Riverclan won’t keep its bargains and that even two healthy warriors is not enough of a price for them to honor. In any case, working with the culture, history, and interpersonal interactions are super powerful to work with.