#we have like fluffy comforters instead but i refer to everything as a blanket

[beechersnope]

you need a duvet not blankets!! the "tog" is how think they are, often they'll be described as a winter duvet or summer duvet though. get a nice flannel duvet cover or another soft material you like and you'll stay cozy as anything xx

nobody really has duvets here but i will look into it!

[bbysamu]

It ain’t Me - a series   

✎ Featuring: KUROO Tetsurou x you 

✎ Now Playing:  It Ain’t Me by Kygo & Selena Gomez 

✎ Genre: Angst 

✎ Word Count: 1,573 

✎ Preview: You and Kuroo are high school sweethearts, you thought your love was as strong as whiskey, burning and sweet. What happens when adult Kuroo develops a bad habit of clubbing too frequently and you find it harder and harder to reach him? 

Ch. I 

Ch. II

Ch. III

Ch. IV

Ch. V

Epilogue

a/n: no underage drinking please, don’t hinder your brain growth

♫I had a dream We were sipping whiskey neat Highest floor, The Bowery And I was high enough♫ 

“shhh, you have to be quiet babe, we’re not exactly allowed up here”, your boyfriend whispered as he pulled you up, guiding you to the rooftop. You nodded, slowly steadying your breath. 

The dark sky was empty with the exception of the half covered moon and some stray stars. Today was you and Kuroo’s second anniversary, your relationship lasting much longer than typical high school romances. Kuroo had texted you today saying he had a surprise for you. 

And the said surprise was a late night picnic on the school’s rooftop surrounded by big fluffy pillows and dimly lit candles. 

“when did you have time to organize all these?” 

Kuroo smiled proudly, “I had the boys bring over some spare pillows and Lev and Kenma hauled them up here during their free period”. You smiled at the image of the two boys bringing up pillows to the roof, giggling at the thought of Kenma complaining as he climbed the stairs to the roof. You made a mental note to thank the two tomorrow. 

Kuroo gingerly picked up your hand and led you over to the picnic blanket. The two of you quickly settled down, his arms around your waist, as you laid your head on his shoulder, talking about both everything and nothing. 

Kuroo suddenly brought out a bottle of light honey liquid. 

“Happy 2 years to the love of my life.” He said, delicately pouring the golden liquid into a small glass.

“only one glass?” You raised your eyebrows.

“of course, you’re not 18 yet!” 

“I’m literally turning 18 next week and you just turned last week!” 

“exactly! no underage drinking in this relationship.” He smiled cheekily at you before taking a swing at the liquid. You laughed out loud at his expression.

“ew people actually like this stuff? my throat is literally on fire.”

“wait, let me try!” 

“okay.” 

And instead of handing you the glass, Kuroo leaned in. 

You smiled as his tongue met yours, giving you a taste of the sweet whiskey. 

And that’s how the both of you will always remember your second anniversary, the empty night sky and the sweet, burning taste of whiskey. 

In the years since high school graduation, the two of you have settled into a comfortable pace, no longer the young teenagers, but hardworking adults in a cruel society. The honeymoon period was a distant phase, but that didn’t mean the love between the two of you dwindled. 

You shot a quick text to Kuroo. His lack of response brought a frown to your face. You tried to call him for the third time, this time directly reaching his voicemail. You sighed at the thought of him pressed up against another body and glared at the laptop in front of you. 

Halfway across the town, Kuroo stepped into the dimly lit club in a pressed black button up and some black pants. He lived for nights like these, the mingled bodies on the dance floor and the beautiful ladies. 

Kuroo loves you and he’s been warned by Kenma a bunch of times but he just couldn’t help himself. Kuroo knew you hated the club but he could never bring himself to stop coming. Week after week, especially since you started being asked to work overtime, Kuroo found himself and some of the boys at the club, drinking and dancing with the girls in the short skirts and bodycon dresses. 

Yamamoto wolf-whistled at the sight of the girls walking by, “dang, look at that girl in the black mini”. 

Kuroo whipped his head around and checked out her long legs and low-cut dress before turning to Yamamoto, “I need a drink first”. 

Yamamoto shook his head knowing what this meant. A drink then another was what Kuroo needed to numb himself from the growing guilt eating him away every time he was at the club. With enough alcohol, Kuroo was always able to convince himself he did nothing wrong as he gripped the waist of another woman, his lips on hers. 

He winked at the bartender and a shot was served up. The burning, sweet liquid brought him back to that picnic on the rooftop. He shook his head, chasing away the memory and shot a smile at the girl in the back dress, before making his way over to her. 

♫Somewhere along the lines We stopped seeing eye to eye You were staying out all night And I had enough♫

It was a little past midnight when you made your way over to Kuroo’s apartment, spare key in hand. You knew he was probably at the club, but he promised he’d be home around midnight. Things have been tense between the two of you lately. You sighed at the memory of your fight last week. 

“What do you mean it was nothing?” You shouted, exasperated at the man sitting across from you. “She was all over you!” You sighed internally, tired of always fighting with Kuroo about his clubbing behavior. 

Kuroo shook his head, “babe, I told you, I literally pushed her away, but the video caught the seconds she came on to me before I could even react. I love you, you know that. Why would I ever want someone else?” Kuroo knew he had you by the way your eyes softened, he mentally winced at his lie, memories of making out with the woman fleeted by in his mind. He quickly pushed them away, the guilt barely lingering. Kuroo notices he’s better at doing that.  

“you’re the only one for me” He said pulling you into a hug, his words trying to convince himself more than you. Tired of fighting, you chose to believe him, after all who would you believe, your boyfriend of five years or a 10 second video? 

The turn of the knob brought you back to reality. You smiled at the thought of his surprised face when he comes home to you later. You quickly changed into one of his spare t-shirts and settled down in his bed. “12:30 am” your phone read before you drifted off to sleep. 

♫ No, I don't wanna know Where you been or where you're goin' But I know I won't be home And you'll be on your own ♫ 

The soft light of sunrise woke you up earlier than your alarm. Your body feeling unexpectedly light as you turn to face the empty space. You thought you would wake up to a Kuroo cuddling you. 

“6:27 am” and no notifications on your phone. You got up, unable to sleep anymore, anger and frustration bubbling at the lack of communication from your boyfriend. 

You look in his fridge, empty except for some leftover boxes. Despite your feelings of anger towards Kuroo, you made a mental note to bring over some groceries next time. You decided to make some tea, mindlessly scrolling through the news. 

A sudden click of the door got you looking up from your phone to see two figures, one unfamiliar, the other as familiar as the back of your hand. 

“You know we could just stay at my place. Why’d you have to insist on this weird coffee?” 

You knew exactly what coffee the female voice was referring to. It was the same one you got him from Vienna that time you studied abroad and he’s been hooked on Viennese coffee ever since. 

You heard his voice, “once you taste it, you won’t ever be able to go back I’m telling you”. 

“where’d you get it from?” 

The two figures stepped into the living room just as Kuroo answered, “oh, just from a frie...” he trailed off as you entered into his field of vision. 

The colors draining from his face, the same look of shock mirrored on your features. 

The woman came into view a second after, confused, “wait, who’s this?” 

The look on both of your faces and the tension in the air got her scrambling to the door embarrassed, mumbling a quick apology on her way out. 

Smart woman, you thought. 

You looked at each other in silence. You took him all in. The ruffled hair, the faint hickey on the side of his jaw, the same black button-ups he wore to the club yesterday. 

Kuroo did the same. You standing across the room, dwarfed in a shirt he bought at nationals, a thousand hurts and emotions in your big tired eyes. 

You broke the silence first, too shocked and hurt to even register what had happened five minutes again. 

“I’m leaving.” 

“Y/N wait...” he reached for your hand and pulled you close. You recoiled as soon as you smelled the cheap perfume intertwined with the same whiskey he’s taken a like to after high school. 

“please I can explain.” He search your eyes desperately. 

You shook his hands off yours and quickly gathered your stuff. 

“I’m leaving...”

He cut you off before you could finish, “yeah I heard the first time, please just give me a chance to explain.” 

“you.” 

The shook on his face made it hard to look at him. You cleared your throat. 

“I’m leaving you”. 

You rushed past him, but not before he caught the glimpse of tears running down your cheeks. 

You realized Kuroo was like a bad shot of whiskey, burning, yet all signs of the sweet aftertaste disappearing. 

[muffindaddystyles]

SWEET BF!HARRY HEADCANONS.

A/N: It's ramdan and that's one of the reasons, I'm not writing smut but all the damn cliches of my dreams. Hope ya'll understand :)

Bf!H pictures, sweet!H, Masterlist, ask me here

He'd be super sappy in your special moments, worse than your mum that sometimes you'd have to drag him away from the crowds to escape from embarrassment.

Would come to pick you up from work, like always, and when you're busy would entertain your co-workers and the staff of building with his charm +

It'd make everyone cooe and awe at the fact you've got such a sweet boy.

Would give up his seat for you and make funny faces down at you, standing between your legs.

Cuddles! As many cuddles as possible he could squeeze into a day.

When you'd get annoyed with your tangled headphones he'd leave everything and take them away from over your head without a word doing it for you and placing it back with a kiss on your head.

He'd totally be the boyfriend that takes care if you're layered enough in winters and that your favourite socksies are warmed up in the dryer.

He just loves, loves and loves going out with you on cute shops to try out different sakura coffees and cheesecakes.

Him watching you sleep in the wee of night and you knowing that he's admiring you but let him do it anyways + sometimes giving him a jump scare by smacking a kiss to his lips and giggling about it sleepyly.

Alone, Making instant noodles together in the middle of night and playing footsie like a 12 years old.

Your shoelace undone as you walk infront of him and he watches you for a minute before stopping you himself, squatting down to tie them back + you'd just blush as the passers by gushed over you both. 

Coming home to him making dinner for you in his cute frilly apron [We all think we're bigger than that -- but we're not :") ]

Him mimicking your moans out aloud from your previous naughty nights and it'd heat up your cheeks like no other.

You missing your girlfriends and he'd take you out to drink mimosas saying, "We can have a girls night out! We can have a girls night out!" While, slipping into his shoes excitedly and grabbing your coats in a haste.

He couldn't keep his hands to himself when you're out in public +

His love language being reassurances and physical touch makes him want you close to him everytime.

He's just so soft in bed -- so happy taking weird selfies and almost blurred pictures of sunsets from the window, with you sleeping on his tummy.

His comfy position to sleep in is with his tucked between your squishy tits +

He sleeps anywhere, it's adorable, in the most uncomfortable furnitures snoring with his mouth wide open +

Not admitting that he snores even though you record him.

The way both of you looking at eachother getting a reference to your private joke and bursting out laughing loud and everyone not knowing what's going on.

Stroking your hair and sniffing your sweet smell with his face smashed into the crook of your neck.

Clothes sharing!!! Even though your clothes wouldn't fit him but when you guys are too bored he'd try your skirts and flaunt them as if he's on runway + blowing kisses to you like those victoria secrets models.

Teasing. Loads of teasing, sitting across the couches and bantering off + making you a whining mess upon teasing you sexually till days and fucking you so good for finally.

Kisses. Soft, sloppy, slobbery, affection and passionate kisses anywhere he could manage to + kissing every inch of your body because he's too in love with you.

Sending you pictures of random objects like a guitar pic he incarved your name upon, a stick that just broke and fell at his feet while he was walking, a chewing gum sticking to his boots, pictures of fluffy kittenssss.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Silly texting such that;

Harry: fight me!

You: come at me, huh.

Harry: Hits you.

Harry: On your lips.

Harry: With my lips.

Harry: SOFTLY.

You: can we fight like this daily?

Harry: course lovie' next fight in 10, be ready sweet cherry ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Keeping you in his lap while reading and his fingers interlocked with yours while his plush lips remain pressed to your knuckles, murmuring his words softly against your skin.

"It's too cold, come back! I'll freeze without you honey baby !!" He'd whine pulling you back under the duvet if you'll try to go for the piss.

He'd be extra gentle and caring with you on your periods, heating bottles for you, making soups and feeding it to you himself spoon by spoon since you loose appetite, going out to buy pads or tampons for you and reading the benefits of them because he's that awfully sweet.

Stargazing together, laying like starfishes on the roof and deciding the names of your future children.

Braiding your hair, "shh stop squirming pet 'm braiding your hair." You'd nip at him teasingly, "Oh. . .I see."

Playful kisses on the tip of noses, saccharine heartwarming kisses on temple, laying overlapped eachother on the couch and kissing eachother's shins and knees, inside of wrists, inside the thighs, and infinite pecking because he couldn't resist +

When you're too clingy worming up his waist kissing his neck. He'd ask you smirking, "What's this?" You'd just keep on going lapping at his skin murmuring, "Affection." His tummy rumbling with chuckles as he scrunched his nose up, "Disgusting." Then a long pause as you grumble and he'd push you back closer to make your lips touch his neck, "Do it again."

Sharing a large blanket together on cold days and rolling into a burrito with you wrapped around him like a koala.

His head looping at your shoulder with sleep and you embrace him in a hug instead letting him sleep peacefully.

Your arguments would be too funny to hear since you're besties and the fights would be over the silliest thing or your favourite football teams, "Fuck you!" You'd scream frustrated at his smugness, "Later you little shit –- " Then the war starts ending into a hot make out session on the couch.

You picking your food or candy from the floor according to the five minutes rule being very sneaky and he'd yell from the other corner, "I saw that!" +

"Oh shut up!" You'd blow him off and he'd yell back, "Make me!"

Calming and comforting him when he wakes up from bad dreams, snuggling him and showering him in kisses to assure hime you're there.

"Mine." He'd murmur against your lips out of blue while doing the most random thing.

The word that'd run shiver down your spine when he growls it out because you're being batty or too greedy to chase ecstasy while riding his thigh, "Behave."

Exchanging jewellery, he'd choose from your collections and give you one of his most precious meaningful ones (sobs) +

Stealing hoodies and he's too accustomed with it that he has his hoodies dipped in his scent, tucked into a safe drawer only for you.

Sneaking inside your changing room to steal a single glimpse of how you're looking in a certain dress/lingerie/pair of cute silk night pyjamas and doing live commentary on it.

Love eating food with you. Becoming this happy baby with rosy cheeks when you'd turn all chirpy and utterly gooey on the sight of greasy cheesy food.

Him baking for you and writing the most funniest thing on top of it that make you roll your eyes but nevertheless kiss him it.

Bringing teas from different countries he went to.

Farting and blaming some non-existent ghost in your house.

His godchildren loving you and always asking about you when you couldn't visit them for some reason.

Clumsy affection and infatuation.

"I love yous." Anytime, any moment. Everytime with same sentiment he held when he told you the first time +

You never failing to make him blush returning it with same affection, "I love you too." +

The soft warm morning I LOVE YOUS in bath robes while brushing teeth standing side by side infront of the mirror, with hair ruffled and states dishelved +

[myelocin]

ten days, ten years | miya a.

Synopsis: This is the kind of real that’s yours and his. 

Genre: Fluff, Domestic | WC: 1500+

Characters: Miya Atsumu

A/N: this is a commisioned piece by @hvnlydmn <33

real estate - adam melchor

commissions

“So this is it,” said, with a voice signaling finality rather than a question.

Atsumu looks over the empty space of a house that was just in the market a few weeks ago, boxes stacked in the corners by the walls, and smiles. You peer at him from across the room, car keys in your hand while the set for the house are in his.

“This is it,” he says again, and when he peers at you, eyes making his message known before words could even attempt to do it justice, you soften.

There’s a lot of definitions that come with describing what’s real, but yours comes along looking like this.  

Real refers to Miya Atsumu and a history that’s you, and him. It’s the moments away from the limelight—his limelight—where he snorts at a couple jokes a little louder than how his manager would have appreciated. The tiny scribbles on the corner of the receipt; starting out as just a line before he’d eventually spiral and connect circles to dots, and little swirls until he’s covered half of the paper’s surface. It’s watching him on the screen, hair slicked up, and parted in just the right way, his control like it’s practically second nature, and his eyes as smooth as the words a person other than you would never be able to tell is practiced.

Because that’s who he is outside of here. (Outside of this.)

Practice interviews, the face on a billboard, and the child next door’s role model.

Real, on the other hand, is the present. Real is the face you wake up next to every morning, drool on the corner of his lips, where you still catch yourself thinking that you could never love anyone more than you do him. The black roots of his hair that grow out much faster than yours, and the way he leans in close to let you clip back his bangs that get in the way of his eyes natural.

It’s him blinking at you; hazel eyes like two pools of chocolate in any kind of lighting, the freckles on his cheeks a sight only you get to see because of how faint they are from a far. The scar on his cheek that you know the story of, healed and barely there; though you still make it a habit to leave kiss on its surface just because.

Real, is defined as the arguments that come and go; sometimes big, sometimes small, but always resolved long before the sun would set. Backs that are never turned from each other when the time came to sleep, because he knows sleep would never find you well unless his forehead was pressed against yours.

Real, like the keys on his hand and the wood floors of what you both would eventually call your forever home. The proof of the years that’s passed etched into the photographs within the first few pages of an album, while the spaces after it are left blank for the purpose of storing the memories of the years that are sure to come.

For now it’s just Atsumu’s fluffy slippers next to yours, and one framed photo of the two of you hung lopsided by the door because he insisted on hanging it up as soon as he entered, but it fits. Little by little the house that was just on the market a few weeks ago is beginning to feel like home.

“So this is it,” you say this time, because it truly is.

You cross the room and settle with standing beside him, his shoulder beside yours, in his eyes a hello. Atsumu smiles at you, then at the lopsided frame before he drops the keys on the makeshift bowl he found in the back of his car. He smirked at his discovery, and to be fair you did too—even though you knew it was something he swiped from his brother’s restaurant just a few days ago.

But it fits right in, you think.

A little black bowl with the familiar logo inked on the side, placed on top of one of the boxes that were sealed shut from the place it left with the intention to be opened within the walls of a new home. A forever home.

Something in his heart bursts at the realizations that something as little as opening boxes and hanging picture frames is what turns a house into a home.

“Do you see it?” he asks you in a sudden, his voice tender.

You hum out the voice of your curiosity, quirking an eyebrow in his direction as you turn to face him.

“See, it?” you question, when Atsumu decides to keep his silence.

He turns to you, flashing you a quick grin before he pads to the center of the room, hands on his waist as he continues to stare at the framed photograph that still is hanging crooked on the wall. But it fits, the voice in your head says, and in a way you suppose that it really does.

Imperfections within a love that feels perfect. Atsumu’s black roots coming in again, and the tag of his shirt poking out from his back. Your keychain with the little pizza man missing half an arm, but you keep it anyway because it was Atsumu’s first gift to you all those years ago. His pants fitting him just right, but the zipper of his fly halfway opened.

You snicker when he groans at you pointing it out, but he thinks that the sound of your laughter makes this house feel even more like home.

“I really see it, Ains,” he tells you again after a moment shared in laughter. The happiness that trails from it lingers, like it’s always done, and the word forever feels even more real.

He holds his hand out for you to take when you walk towards him, feet bare under the cool wooden floors, and he’s smiling. Atsumu’s more than in love, and he’s smiling because your hand snug against his feels like that puzzle piece that finally pieces the whole picture together.

You look at him, bathing in the comfort of the silence plus his few words; just the sounds of his breathing and the life that continues to move outside sounding like music instead of noise.

Atsumu pulls you towards him, spins you in the way that has you laughing at the silliness of it all, before he pulls you back again, your back to his chest, his chin on your shoulder. The crooked frame stares back at you, the two faces captured within it smiling, so you do the same.

“I see us here,” he begins.

“Ten days, and the boxes will be half emptied out. The couch will probably come in and maybe some more furniture, but we’ll have somewhere to sit,” he continues, and so the smile on your face remains.

“Ten months and the plant that Samu gave us will probably be dead,” he laughs, which prompts you into doing the same, your hands quick to give his arm that’s locked around your waist a little squeeze.

“That’s on you if you don’t water it,” you snort, craning your neck to face him and reaching up to pinch his cheek.

He rolls his eyes, gives you a laugh that sounds like all the sounds of love—of real love, before spins you again, first repositioning your hands so they rest on his shoulder while his settle on the dip of your waist.

“Then ten years later, I see little versions of me running around here,” Atsumu laughs, his eyes crinkling.

“Why versions of you?” you rebut with a laugh, reaching up to run your fingers through the strands of bleach blonde and black on the back of his head. “Why not me?”

Atsumu pokes out his tongue, puffing his chest out as he says, “Obviously me, because my better genes are superior.”

In exaggerated dramatics, you sigh, thumb reaching out to rub at the skin on his nape. He leans in, as if it’s a reflex, and you smile at the way everything just slides into place with each other.

“The Miya genes really are good right?” you sigh. “Should have gotten with Samu though,” you continue, looking away with an exaggerated huff. “He always was the cuter twin.”

Atsumu makes a show of pinching your sides, though only soft enough just to kick start a laughing fit. “Oi.”

You poke his cheek, leaning up then forward to press a kiss on the tips of his nose. “I see us too,” you say.”

“But it’s more like I see you every day. I see you leaving a sock there, and throwing your underwear three feet away from the laundry basket, and your bajillion cups of pudding in the fridge.”

Atsumu smiles, because he knows that love can be this too.

“I see us tonight,” he says. “Probably sitting on the floor because the furniture’s not here yet, and you’ll be picking out the vegetables in the pizza and putting it on my plate instead.”

“It wouldn’t happen if you just got the damn meat lover’s special,” you comment with a laugh.

“But it still works right?” He asks, pinching yours sides again. “We always have a way of working out right?”

You think about the road the both of you walked to on your own before you got here. The movie nights under the blankets, where if anything it was just you accompanying him so he could watch replays before a game. Atsumu’s laughter that booms before it echoes as if it’s screamed, then placed in contrast next to how he loves in silence, and gentleness.

“We always work, Tsumu,” you reassure. “That’s why we’re here now.”

“—because we’ll still be here ten years later,” he finishes for you, and you smile.

You suppose you can’t disagree with that; more than anyone—you see your world ten years later with him too.

[captainsimagines]

To Topple A Giant || Chapter Two

Summary: You had made it your mission to destroy even the smallest evils. When the opportunity arises to finally take down your own family after years of gaining their trust, you reach for it. And so does Steve, the man who represents a symbol of everything you hate.

Pairing(s): Steve Rogers x Reader || Avengers x Reader

Part 2 of 10 ~ Mini-Series

Warnings: This story contains mature themes and discussions such as extreme canon violence, strong language, emotional angst, mentions of Endgame deaths and recoveries, sexual situations, and emotional/physical abuse. All trigger warnings will be listed before the chapter. This is purely fanfiction. 

Warnings in this chapter: brief reference/hint to past sexual assault. 

Word Count: 7,500+

A/N: Thank you so much for your excitement about this series! I always smile when I read your comments. Sorry for such a long chapter, but it’s only ten parts and I gotta fit all somewhere lol

~

Unknown Location, 2015, 10:46pm

     The tightness of the rope wrapped around your wrists was excruciating, each movement causing it to rub against the already damaged skin, leaving more angry, red marks. You whipped your head back and forth, anger and fear coursing through your veins as you stared your father down. You watched as he carefully maneuvered his way around the room, every back straightening as he walked past them, every gun cocked and pointed right at you. Your nose twitched up as he walked closer, inspecting the ropes tying your feet to the chair and so on. You accumulated all the spit you could and aimed it for his face, pride washing over you as it hit him perfectly. But as quickly as that pride built, it shattered, a stinging sensation on your cheek now overpowering any other sense. 

“You cost me ten million.”

You bit back a laugh, careful not to let it slip as you did not want another beating. “I did what I had to do. You would have done the same!”

“Don’t tell me what I would have done!”

You flinched inwardly, your face still blushing with growing madness. If only you could loosen these bonds… 

“You will know to not mess up again.”

And as your father left the room, the men lined up against the wall finally let their shoulders fall forward, their once blank faces now donning sadistic smiles.

The Compound, 2018, 2:07am 

You sat up from your mound of pillows, kicking them to the side as well as the heavy blanket. Your ears rang impossibly loud, and it wasn’t until your feet touched your bedroom floor that you could hear yourself screaming. Your body was drenched in sweat, sliding easily on your wood floor as you kicked to escape the blanket. 

Sharp knocks against your door startled you, sudden ‘please, don’t!’’s escaping your mouth. Hyperventilating was always tiring, you thought, and the air was now super cold as you sucked it into your lungs.

“Doll, please? I’m coming in.”

The light from the hallway blinded you so you lifted your arm up as a temporary shield. 

“No, no! I’m good… I didn’t lose it. Please, trust me!”

“Y/N…”

You lowered your arm and stared at your nighttime intruder, instincts kicking in upon settling your teary eyes on him and causing you to groan in displeasure. 

“Don’t look at me.”

“Y/N.”

“I said don’t look at me.”

Steve sighed in defeat and walked back to your door. You thought he was going to simply leave you be, letting you ride out this panic attack alone like all the others. But he shut the door and made his way over to your couch on the other side of the room, plopping himself down and leaning his sleepy head in his right hand. It had been six months since the world literally fell apart, an unknown feeling of terror that simply sat at the pit of stomachs eating away at whatever sanity its host still had, plaguing the world. Tiredness was second nature, never actually reducing its power no matter how much sleep one got. But leaving you here to suffer each individual thread being pulled from your remaining sanity, alone, wasn’t an option. 

“Why are you staying?”

“I have nightmares, too. You aren’t that special.”

You rolled your eyes, hands now massaging your aching chest. “It wasn’t anything.”

“Y/N, you were screaming for help.”

“I scream for a lot of things.”

You figured Steve would succumb to his growing annoyance, but he stayed patient. 

“Was it about…?”

You sighed and pulled yourself up to your feet, knees wobbly and thighs alerting you of the droplets of sweat that beaded down your legs. “No. I don’t dream about the snap.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

You let out a rather angry sigh. You were now rubbing your eyes, cleaning them of the accumulation of hard mucus. “I seriously don’t want to talk about this particular incident.”

Steve huffed through his nose and you were ready to pounce on him to tear that beard from his face, but stopped when you saw his small smile and genuine empathy in his eyes. “Okay, I won’t push you.”

You just stared at him, eyes wide and confused. But you nodded slowly, eyes now diverting to the blanket below you. 

“I’m just so fucking happy the snap took my father.”

Steve’s lifted his head quickly by your abrupt confession, eyebrows furrowed and lips frozen, as if wrapped around a lost word he couldn’t verbally address. He understood, but it shocked him nonetheless.

He ignored it, or at least chose to avoid an immediate discussion about it, and stood from your couch. 

“Are you going to be okay?”

You wanted to throw him out. Him being across the room and near the wall was starting to trigger more flashbacks. 

It’s Steve. It’s just Steve.

“Can you stay?”

Steve stumbled slightly in his step, clearly uncomfortable with your request. But he was a good man and when one of his teammates needed help, he would do whatever he could. And you were one of the only teammates he had left. 

“Okay,” he said. But as he made his way back to the couch and away from you, sudden racks of itchiness stretched from your wrists to the middle of your chest. You stumbled from the bed, arms extended outward as if you were still shielding yourself from some incoming attack. 

“No, no! Just…”

Steve watched your movements carefully, trying to discern between fear or awkwardness. He sighed and let you see his hands, turning them over in the air.

“It’s me. Tell me where you want me.”

You were in control. Just tell him where you want him. 

“I’ll lay here,” you started, getting back into the right side of the bed and pulling the covers up to your hips. “You there, but upside down.”

Steve chuckled and followed your commands. You watched him walk, feeling the dip of your mattress as his heavy body lay down. You were grateful when his sock-covered feet touched your left side pillow, his chuckles gaining volume as he tried to get comfortable. 

“Do I at least get a blanket?”

“Oh!” you leapt from the bed and to the closet.  He listened to your soft pitter-patter as you shuffled across the cold floor, shutting his eyes to relish in the childish melody. You passed Steve two heavy blankets, mindful of the cold weather outside. Then you climbed back into bed, passing Steve a few pillows, and snuggling back into your own. 

A few shifts of the blankets made you open your eyes again. Steve was not as stiff as you expected him to be - almost like he wanted to help you - and you mentally slapped yourself remembering that he would do this for Bucky. 

“Steve?”

“Hmm?”

You took solace in the fact that he couldn’t see the tiny grin on your face. “Thank you.”

Steve smiled up at the ceiling, thankful that he could still help others even when he himself was falling apart. “You’re welcome.”

Present Day, 2025, 9:45am

     If anyone were to truly study Steve, they would see he was starting to act his age. He enjoyed fluffy socks, tea instead of coffee, sketching in the secluded garden of the new compound - anything a man pushing a hundred would truly enjoy. And he found himself shaving less, watching every new movie released regardless of genre, and eating much more oatmeal than usual. He remembers how whenever Bucky had saved up just enough for them to splurge on items they never usually indulged in, oatmeal would always be his go to. It was still a common ‘peasant’ meal for the two young bachelors, but Bucky would heat it up with fresh milk he had bought that morning, added the fresh strawberries and dates that were in season, and sprinkled brown sugar - damn, Steve loved brown sugar - on top. Bucky would place the bowl in front of Steve, ignoring Steve’s constant blabbering about ‘Buck, we can’t afford this’, or ‘you don’t need to spend your hard-earned money on me, you jerk’. But he would quickly shut up once Bucky’s perfected oatmeal recipe landed on his eager tongue and filled his happy stomach. Regardless of those past memories of young roommates searching for loose change in their couch and more recent ones of two reunited best friends sharing looks of awe whenever they saw how much milk and brown sugar now costs, Steve was certain the old man in him was just barely emerging. 

He definitely didn’t skip the irritated attitude phase every old man seemed to develop as the years passed, his resting facial expressions and movements starting to match those of his best friend. Grumpy, tired all the time regardless of the serum, and asking each other instead of the modern people around them how to work their phones. All he wanted to do was crawl into bed, or go on a jog, or watch a movie - anything - rather than having to give a briefing about something he hadn’t had to think about for seven years. And although he had the chance to use the stones before and didn’t, Steve couldn’t quite help wishing that he was transported back to his and Bucky’s old and crumbling apartment, fighting over that one knitted blanket Bucky had bought for the both of them with his last dime.

You seemed happier with your whole family situation after the snap, but he never wanted to ask. Whether you were putting on a brave face for him, he was rid of it momentarily only to be pushed into the chaos all over again. But this time was different because you were finally going to end it all. Finish what you had started all those years ago - then maybe Steve could take that afternoon nap he wanted.     

“Talk to me. How are we doing this?”

Fury pulled up a screen with all the photos and biographies, essentially a powerpoint prepared by both you and Steve. 

“I’ll do whatever you ask of me, sir. But I know my family and their schemes better than anyone,” you said. Fury knew this was true and the plan would ultimately be mapped out by you. His input was always welcome, but you knew the small details - their personalities, their weaknesses, their strengths, even the way they took their coffee. You even knew which of them sampled their product before sending it off on a cross-country road trip. 

Steve stood beside the monitor, using this finger to change the screen. “So, we’re looking for our physical proof. A paper trail detailing land and their product, contacts, storage units, aliases - the works.”

You nodded at Fury and your teammates. “Exactly. The hardest things to obtain will most definitely be evidence about my father’s involvement. Proof he gave the orders and profited from them.”

“Your word isn’t enough?” Sam asked.

“No, not unless I throw myself under the bus as well. It’s his word against mine unless I can prove these things were all his doing,” you responded, taking a sip from your water. 

The only other people in the briefing room besides Steve and Fury were Sam, Bucky and Scott. Everyone else would get a brief overview later on this week, but these three were specifically chosen by Fury to help aid you in the actual physical fight. 

“The wedding is the perfect distraction,” Scott spoke. “Almost like this was made for a heist.”

Steve released a heavy sigh, his patience already wearing thin. “Not a heist.”

“Close enough,” Scott shrugged, gaining a grin from you across the table. He smiled at your reaction and sent you a wink. 

“Agent, we have to go over the basics and any new information you can provide,” Fury encouraged.

You motioned toward Steve to bring up the photos on the monitor, “Let’s start with the basics.”

Steve took over for the first portion of your presentation. You didn’t mind - in fact, the more control he had in this would certainly help ease his mind and you definitely did not want a stressed out Steve Rogers accompanying you on a twelve hour road trip. 

“Ernesto Vega, father of Y/N Y/L/N, born 1950 in Guadalajara, Mexico, but because of the snap, the 80 year old is still only 75.”

“Damn, your father is old!”

You laughed at Sam’s outburst, “Yup, and I got like ten half-siblings.”

Sam sat up straighter, “No way?”

“Way.”

“Daniel Seda,” Steve continued, his voice louder. “Vega’s second in command, born 1970, currently 55 years old. Took over as top commander after the snap, and according to Y/N he didn’t take it well when everyone was brought back.”

“Hmm, threatened to put another bullet in me,” you teased, pointing at your stomach where the scar underneath your shirt had already long healed. You could have sworn you heard Steve’s breath hitch, but even if it did, he had quickly covered it by swiping the monitor. 

“But her father saw this as proof of loyalty. Because no matter how much he knows Y/N hates him, she still brought him back.”

You lifted your shoulders, arms in the air as if imitating the nonverbal form of ‘oh, well!’, and your thin smile caused your cheeks to pop out comically.

“So, Seda hates you?” Bucky asked, chuckles still vibrating in his chest from your previous childish movements.

You brushed your hand through the air, “Not the first man to hate me and not the last.”

Steve snickered. You could say that again.

“The wedding will be held at Vega’s personal and private ten-acre ranch in Northern California-”

“A lovely fall wedding!”

Steve bit his tongue, eyes never leaving the monitor. “Sure… and it’s perfect. He’s wanted and he’s going to be on U.S soil.”

You stood from your chair and grabbed the electronic marker from the desk. You circled the main points of entry plus the directions of secret exits hoping to emphasize the ‘private’ part of Steve’s statement. “And since it’s his most private getaway and no one would suspect he would hide important shit on said U.S soil, I’m about ninety-eight percent sure our proof is there.”

You pulled up the blueprints and marked a giant ‘X’ on the farthest corner room in the west end. It was your father’s office. 

“Ninety-eight?” Sam asked, reviewing the printed blueprints himself.

You twirled the marker between your fingers, “My dad is clever. My other two percent is telling me there’s no evidence at all.”

Scott clutched his chest in relief, “Okay, at least one outweighs the other.”

You shared another laugh with the ‘regular-sized man’.

Steve continued listing the basics, all while Fury sat toward the edge of the long table reviewing the screen. “The other two big names in the drug game are Omar Ramirez and Marcus White. Ramirez runs most things from Mexico City to San Antonio, Texas and he’s probably the least evil of them all. White runs Europe, specifically Germany and England.”

You interjected, “Ramirez focuses on the product. He orders his men to focus on the business instead of the outside world - meaning, no unnecessary kills, no violence toward women and children, no killing cops or citizens. Just producing and transporting.”

Almost forgetting he was there, Fury’s voice somewhat startled you. “Vega has lost men to Ramirez, men who wanted a change in scenery.”

You nodded in confirmation, “They aren’t necessarily enemies but they’re no besties either.”

Sam rolled the blueprints back up and handed them to Bucky. “So, we’re taking them all down?”

“The big three. Plus Seda,” Steve declared, finally taking his first sip of water in what felt like forever. If he didn’t want anyone to know he was nervous about this mission, he was for sure failing. 

You hummed, “Vega and Seda are also the only ones who know of Steve’s involvement.”

“How’d that happen?” Bucky asked.

“Because Steve only ‘transports’ my father’s product. Not the others. Steve’s role is essentially to green light the passages and is my main pull,” you clarified. 

It was true - Steve didn’t do or touch anything. And you thought this best considering he was America’s golden boy - you couldn’t possibly bear real involvement from him. This wasn’t his world and never should have been but it was yours. 

You dealt with people directly. You took out the snitches. You handled the product during inspections. You did it all - and not because you thought Steve was some fragile soul who couldn’t achieve the same results - but because you brought him into that mess during a time in his life when he definitely didn’t need it.

“But how did it happen?”

You shrugged, hoping your answer would suffice for the rest of the group as it never does for Steve. “When I first started out as a field agent, my father didn’t trust I was doing it for him. The more I promoted, the more suspicious he got. It wasn’t until we exposed SHIELD as half-HYDRA that he was done with me.”

Fury interjected once again, “So, Y/L/N here had to pull rank out of her ass.”

You snorted, “Thanks, Fury. That sounded nice.”

“I told them that I had the literal symbol of America by my side. That defeating HYDRA was only to get his friend back, not to save the world. Plus, I told them that HYDRA was targeting all of them. And once I could get proof - a forged recording made by Fury before he went into hiding - well, it was like the greatest example of submission.”

“Why didn’t you say Tony?” 

That certainly was a question Steve always had and wanted answered. God, he really hoped you had said Tony.

“Because I got the literal symbol of America as a partner-in-crime. My father almost told me he loved me... almost.”

You sat back down in your chair, a tiny puff of air escaping your lips. “And that made Seda furious. I may hate my father, but Seda is the main threat to blowing this whole operation.”

If anything, you wanted your father deader than dirt, silenced by the one child he always regretted bringing into the world. He had tortured you in more ways than you thought possible. 

      “Now, I thought my dad was bad.”

You fell back onto the couch before retrieving your cup of coffee you had placed on the table. Nebula gave you a tiny chuckle in return. 

 “Yes, mine has eradicated half the universe. I win ‘worst father’.”

You sipped your coffee, trying and failing to block out the banter between Rocket and Tony as they discussed the location of the space stone. “You know, I wouldn’t have put it past him.”

Nebula chewed her dinner slowly, listening to you ramble on about anything that popped into your mind. She knew this was your coping mechanism - to just keep talking until someone shut you up. But she enjoyed it, really, because you spoke of topics that she didn’t quite understand or know about. She learned something new everyday simply by listening to you. 

“I should have thanked Thanos for dusting his ass, though.”

Nebula stopped mid-chew, blank expression but the hint of a twitch in her lip visible.

“I’m joking.”

You had asked her once why Thanos had spared her and Tony when he snapped his fingers. But Nebula had no rational answer, only responding that he must have spared her out of last minute pity and Tony to live through the consequences. And the tiny voice inside your head knocked again, reminding you that ‘maybe this snap was overall a good thing - your father can’t hurt you anymore!’, but you shut it up as quickly as it came. 

“So, how many planets are there in the universe, really?”

     Fury began piling files in one folder, making sure to hand out the sheet with names and contact numbers of agents stationed close to the venue and your chosen hotel.  

“We’ll get into mission specifics at a later date once Rogers and Y/L/N are settled and scope out the place. For now, study up on your targets and perfect your acting skills.”

     You assumed you would only need one big suitcase for the trip, only packing essentials and extra shirts just in case. You rolled your clothes tightly, securing your signature perfume and some jewelry inside some sweaters. You hid identifiable items in the small compartments - your passport, journal, old SHIELD tag, driver’s license, etc. It was the paranoid side of you taking over, the possibility of having your cover blown likely and frightening. The amount of times you had ventured into the general vicinity of your father and his crew always proved safer than you expected. But there could always be that day he simply didn’t want you around anymore. 

So, you prepared in the smallest and even cringiest ways possible - resorting to drafting letters for those you wanted to remember you after you had been taken out. You paused your packing to grab your spare journal. You spent a good hour writing. A letter to Wanda, to Bucky, to Peter, to Rhodey, to Sam. Some were shorter than others - others extending to over two pages. But your mind was racing with things you hoped they would never have to read, scattered thoughts and only hints of identifiable wit penned on paper.

You tucked the letters behind the fabric you had recently ripped open. You planned on duct-taping the rip, your eyes drifting back over to your journal. You tapped your foot rapidly for a few seconds, fingers twisting in anticipation, mind still clear enough to draft one more. You quickly picked the pen right back up, sitting on the edge of your bed and starting the letter you might regret later. But at that moment, with the horrible prospect of dying on this mission, you wrote. 

     ‘Steve,

     Believe when I say that I was so sure I would put a bullet in my father before he could. Whoops…’

You wrote and wrote until your handwriting grew sloppy at the edge of the paper, and signed it. You tucked the final letter into the hole and taped it shut. You really hoped you would be able to survive and burn those written words later. 

A soft knock sounded from across the room and your bedroom door opened to reveal Steve, light blue dress shirt tucked into his jeans like the old man he truly was. You couldn’t help but grin at that, cursing your involuntary actions for this man. 

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“You doing okay?” you asked, continuing to fold clothing into your suitcase. He leaned against your door, hesitant. Steve often wondered why and how he could go days, weeks - one time even a whole month - without speaking to or seeing you. He was an expert at one word answers by now, opting to always have someone else around whenever he seriously had to carry a conversation with you. But what struck him the most was that you didn’t seem to care anymore. He witnessed the change - hell, he was the one that caused it - but it was a change that he both wanted and didn’t. How was it so easy for you?

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” he responded and walked over to your couch to sit. 

You cleared your throat, hoping to make this conversation the least awkward you could. “Because this was literally sprung on both of us after almost ten years of waiting.”

“I’m okay.”

You accepted his answer. He looked comfortable enough, shoulders relaxed and genuinely interested. There was a part of you that wanted to rush over and shake him, yell at him for being so clueless and fake at the same time. There was no possible way he was fully okay with everything - he hadn’t been himself since the snap, and when Natasha and Tony died, he was someone else entirely. You had brought it up with Bucky several times, but he assured you that Steve was just dealing with things his own way. That he was still a man out of time, they both were, and battle after battle could take its toll. And Bucky would hype their therapist up, that they were the reason he and Steve are able to walk in public without that constant voice warning of danger in the back of their heads, and that you should schedule a visit sometime. You always declined, asking him to call you if he truly needed another person to talk to. He would smile, taking you up on your offer whenever a day was particularly triggering.

“I’ve been waiting for this day since I was sixteen. Ten years really just flew by… considering.”

Steve nodded, “Is there anything I should know?”

You hummed, “If you mean things about my family, then I’ll just tell you on the way there or at the hotel.”

He chuckled and stood to lean against your bedpost. “No, I mean like, what should I pack just in case?”

You rolled your eyes and laughed at such an innocent question, “Um, comfy socks. It’s pretty cold in California in the winter. Gas money, it’s pretty fucking expensive, too.”

He smiled, “Good to know.”

The two of you packed in silence for several minutes. Steve helped you roll your clothes and gather your toiletries, even asking you if you wanted to bring your current toothbrush or the new one in your bottom drawer. 

You knew you shouldn’t have spoken about the topic burning in your throat, but you felt like you had to say something. If you mentioned it during the mission, you risked a larger argument than the one you would get now. So you formulated your next sentence carefully, already bracing for impact as it slipped.

“Look, the elephant in the room should be addressed. Once my father’s dealt with, I have no reason to stay here.”

Steve clipped the belt over the top of your clothes, securing the items tightly. He seemed disoriented, your sudden proclamation startling him. “What do you mean? You did the work, you trained, you helped us literally save the world.”

You shrugged and kept your voice light, “Yeah, but I started this gig when I was sixteen. I didn’t join the Avengers until I was freshly in my twenties. I’ve literally known nothing else but fighting.”

Steve sat at the edge of your bed, furrowed eyebrows and all as he chose his next words. He felt both angry and sad, a mixture of feelings that he never quite grew accustomed to whenever he was around you. They ate away at him slowly, creeping into his brain to wrap around his common sense, his sense of self, the man he was before the snap. 

“Are you saying you just need a break?”

“I think,” you shrugged, zipping the suitcase and tugging its weight off your bed and onto the floor. 

“What about Wanda and Bucky?”

You scrunched your face in amused confusion, a playful smile resting on your lips, “I’m not falling off the face of the Earth, Steve. I’ll visit or something.”

“Or something.”

He stood and walked back to your couch, restless and even more stressed than he was before he entered your room. 

“Steve, we lost so much. It’s been two years since we brought everyone back, but… it took its toll.”

He snapped his head up, “You don’t need to tell me about shit taking its toll.”

You felt like you stared at him for several minutes, anger bubbling in the pit of your stomach and traveling up your throat. That familiar lump constricting your airway as you forced yourself to swallow it and the forming tears. And once again, your mouth spoke before your mind could approve.      

“Why didn’t you use the stones for yourself?”

Steve sat, shocked into silence temporarily. “What?”

“When you and Carol put the stones back - why didn’t you stay somewhere you really wanted to be?”

You remember watching him step onto the platform holding the briefcase of infinity stones and holding Mjollnir, - because of fucking course he could wield Mjollnir, he was a good man even if you were on his bad side - simply minding his own business and waiting for Carol to join him. You remember thinking he would return with a different story, only after he got some of that life Tony had always encouraged him to find, that he would go back to Peggy and live the life he always wanted. But as quickly as they disappeared into thousands of timelines did they reappear, Carol joyful and content while Steve trailed behind her. Your heart had pounded erratically, Bucky looking at you with wide eyes because yes, I thought he would do exactly what you were thinking, too. 

“None of your business.”

“I’m not trying to pry-” you reasoned, but Steve stepped toward you with flushed cheeks and a cracked voice. 

“But all you do is pry, pry, pry. God, do you ever just shut up?”

All you could hear behind the ringing of your ears were Steve’s quick breaths, slowing as each second passed and he realized what he had said. A moment of weakness, in his opinion, but still uncalled for. 

“Pack some snacks for the road and get out of my room.”

Steve straightened his back, eyes practically yelling for you to look at him again, pleading for you to see the remorse swimming in them. But you just tugged your suitcase to the corner of your room, ignoring him completely. “Gladly.”

     You and Steve were mature enough to keep your arguments at least a hundred miles away from any mission you were conducting or when around your friends. A quick quarrel in the morning was basically nonexistent a few hours later when the whole group suggested a board game or movie night. Although this impromptu road trip would be the slightest bit awkward, you two were smart enough to not compromise the mission. 

And you had to drive as flying and airport security was too risky, especially with the amount of weapons attached to your body and in the trunk of that rented car. 

“Call us when you hit the first checkpoint. After that, we’ll be monitoring your hotel check-in and any new ones, police reports filed throughout that week, anything that directly involves your stay,” Bucky said, handing you a burner phone. 

You stepped forward to hug him. “Thank you, Bucky.”

He gave you a tight squeeze, releasing you slightly to whisper in your ear. “Try not to kill him for the next twelve hours, will ya?”

You pulled away and gave him your best grin, bumping your bracelet with his. “You know I can’t promise that, Bucky.”

He rolled his eyes, “You kill him, I kill you.”

“Ugh, don’t tease me.” Bucky almost burst out laughing from the fake, pornographic moan you let out because of his threat. 

“No, but seriously - just… lay low, trust each other, and we’ll be there in the next few days.”

You slid the burner into your sweater pocket and patted it, checking if it was secure. You waved goodbye to Bucky and pulled the passenger door open. You blew him a kiss, red lipstick now on your fingers. “Can’t wait to see you!”

Bucky stood with his hands shoved into his pockets, an embarrassed but happy smile on his face. He caught the floating kiss mid-air. “Already miss you!”

“Stop, I’m blushing!” you teased, your left hand resting palm up on your forehead in an exaggerated manner. 

“Go!”

You obliged, falling into the passenger seat and clicking your seatbelt. 

Twenty minutes into the drive and Steve finally decided to speak. 

“So, you and Bucky?”

You giggled, thumbs currently flying over your phone screen as you tried to beat your high score in some awful video game you discovered last week. “Yup, I got him wrapped around my finger.”

Steve’s hand fidgeted on the steering wheel, “Seriously?”

You closed out your video game, “No, Steve. It’s mindless flirting. He’s one of my best friends.”

“Ahh…” he nodded in understanding, a lazy smile resting on his face. He focused on both the road and you, your head leaning against the foggy window. “About earlier-”

“Don’t mention it,” you interrupted. The second you peaked through your heavy eyelids did you lock eyes with Steve, regret visible in them. 

He continued, “I blew up at you and you didn’t deserve it.”

“Cool, you’re forgiven.”

“Y/N-”

You groaned quietly, but you weren’t getting angry. You were just tired from the day already and having to sit for twelve hours straight wasn’t going to help. So, you took the high road. “Look, it’s a twelve hour drive until our first stop. Let’s forget about it or else I promise you, I will jump out of this car when you push eighty.”

Steve couldn’t help the laugh that rumbled in his chest due to your absurd promise, but he accepted your answer. 

“...Okay.” 

     By hour two, there was a restlessness between the both of you. No matter how much you extended your leg, the cramping wouldn’t go away. No matter how many times Steve would twist his neck to the side to get it to crack, it would just tighten again. So, against protocol but still on your best behavior, you and Steve made a couple stops along the way.      

The first was a burger joint in the middle of buttfuck Ohio, you had commented, earning a choking sound from Steve as he tried to contain his laughter. It was a hole in the wall type of place, perfect for lying low and out of sight, and you had enjoyed your meal in the car. You listened to Steve’s playlist on low volume, stealing each other’s fries to simply piss the other off, and hit the road after your meal.      

The second stop was around hour eight, and the sun was already starting to set. You desperately needed to use the bathroom and once you saw a tiny town that ‘looks so much like the town in Gilmore Girls!’, Steve pulled over and parked in a diner parking lot. Donning caps and ordering a coffee and a tea to go to seem less suspicious, you hurried from the diner and back to your car. You stopped dead in your tracks, eyeing a gazebo with a black miniature fence around it. You begged Steve to snap a photo, promising that this would be the only favor you ask of him for the next few hours, and went to hitch one leg over the metal fence. You settled yourself on top, hands gripping the railing and trying not to fall. You started to laugh uncontrollably as the fence started hurting your bottom, begging Steve to snap the photo quicker.      

‘Take the damn picture, you big oaf!’     

‘Well, then hold still!’     

‘It’s hurting my ass!’     

‘Smile!’    

The third stop was the final one, somewhere in Iowa and deep in the forest. You complained about how Fury warned you of motels, that you would have to seek shelter elsewhere to avoid being recognized. You could easily blend in, but the mountain of muscle beside you would blow your cover. And you wanted to arrive in California undetected by the media.       

Steve drove the car into a dark and secluded part of the forest, ground that seemed used by campers often and had an emergency phone and landline nearby. It was secret enough, so you parked the car and retrieved the blankets from the trunk.      

“You taking the back?” Steve asked, jumping back into the car and rubbing his hands together because of the chilly weather. His face was flushed from just a few seconds out in the cool breeze, nose frozen and the tip red. He looked younger, you thought, somewhat resembling those renditions of Greeks in renaissance art.      

“You’ve been driving all day. You should stretch your legs,” you answered, already wrapping the blanket up to your shoulders and securing it around your neck.      

“You sure? We can alternate.”     

You smiled, already feeling the effects of the warmth on your tired body, “I’m sure, Steve. Get some rest and I’ll drive in the morning.”     

Steve exited the car after turning it off - sucks that you had to save the gas - and hopped into the backseat. He kicked off his shoes and lay across the connected seat, facing you. He could see the outline of your nose as you tilted your head slightly to the side, the blanket wrapped around your neck and hiding the real length of your hair. It resembled a bob cut by how half of it was hidden, and Steve thought that hairstyle would suit you.      

Your personal phone rang, cutting through the comfortable silence and startling the both of you. You fumbled it in your hand and looked back at Steve, face falling as you showed him the name.      

Seda.      

“Answer it on the third ring.”     

You did as Steve told you, answering the phone on the third ring and preparing your voice. He scrambled for the tape recorder, pressing ‘play’ as soon as he could.      

“You rarely call me. To what do I owe the pleasure?” you answered.      

His voice sounded hoarse over the phone, almost like he had just finished smoking a pack of cigarettes. “Are you attending?”    

“My dear sister is getting married, Seda. Of course I’m going to embarrass her.”     

He paused for a few moments, sounding like he was directing the people around him to finish something. But he responded to your answer in a serious tone. “I hope you’re being your usual sarcastic self and aren’t serious.”     

You rolled your eyes and pointed at the phone, and Steve’s lips spread into a smile. “You’ve known me long enough to know, I hope.”     

“Sadly.”     

“I’m hurt,” you joked, voice still light and cheerful. Seda paused on the line again, the sound of papers rustling letting you know the line was still active.      

“I need to know if the Captain is attending too.”     

“He was invited,” you responded, laughing a little at the fact that Seda hadn’t known this information you were sure the rest of your family knew.      

He chuckled, a slight whistle sound letting you know he was smoking another cigarette. “Mm, guess your family is finally meeting your lover, huh?”     

The air in your mouth didn’t make it down to your lungs and you looked at Steve with equally wide eyes. But you didn’t stay fazed for long, responding to such an accusation with ease. “My lover, yes. I’m so damn giddy about that.”     

Seda hummed in satisfaction, “Your father always told you to not get involved with the product. Scrambles your brains from thinking straight. But he applauds you on this one.”     

You put a finger in your mouth and mimicked gagging, causing Steve to cover his mouth to muffle his laugh. “I’ve never mentioned the Captain as my lover before. Why is my father always right?”     

You knew exactly what to say. The more backhanded praise you gave your father only fed into the truth and lies everyone knew - truth being you hated your father because of his power and the lie being that you were just as power hungry as him. As long everyone assumed you wanted this power, the more you had to act like you hated your father’s.      

“He knows more than he lets on. You know that.”     

“I know a lot of things.”     

Seda continued, “No friends allowed, anyway. So, if the Captain isn’t your lover then… we may have problems. Is there a problem?”     

You kept your voice at a steady volume, “I said I was with him, didn’t I? Have you seen the man?”          

“Seen him, heard him speak. So righteous and dull. Not really your type.” Seda was growing impatient with the conversation, clearly angry that he hadn’t caught a slip or lie from you.      

You scrunched your face in disgust, “Ew, don’t think you know my type.”     

     “Buck, ‘my type’ is back home with a warm chicken noodle soup in my lap and a couple of loose papers at my disposal,” Steve whined, trying to keep the same pace as his overly enthusiastic friend as he hurried down the sidewalk.      

“She’s such a knockout, Steve! I’m sure she’ll love you.”     

Steve couldn’t help but blush at Bucky’s kind words, the hype always repairing some parts of Steve’s broken self-esteem and reminding him of his worth. But it was his third date this month and rejection was starting to seem like his favorite sport. No matter what he did - offering a girl some peanuts, accidentally stepping on her (once!) feet while dancing, or simply not living up to Bucky’s gracious advertising - women just weren’t interested.      

“You know that’s not true, Buck. Can’t we just have a quiet night in?”     

Bucky stopped and guided them into the nearby alley, both to knock some sense into his friend and to give Steve a break from the tiny jog.      

“Listen here, Steve. Any girl would be lucky to be with you-”     

“Buck, we’ve been through this-”     

“Let me finish,” Bucky shushed him, hands on Steve’s shoulders to steady both him and himself. “Any girl would be lucky to be with you. If this one doesn’t see you how I see you, then she’s just insane.”     

Steve smirked, “Don’t insult the girl before I’ve even met her, jerk.”     

Bucky smiled, his high cheeks pushing up to create crinkles by his eyes. “Trust me, pal. You just need to find a woman with as big of a mouth as you.”     

Steve swatted his friend across his chest, laughs rumbling in both their chests and down the once quiet alleyway.      

     “What hotel are you staying at?” Seda quickly asked, ignoring your quip. You were done with this conversation as it was leading nowhere.      

“Staying at one where no one can hear the Captain scramble my brains. Goodbye,” you replied, an annoyance in your tone that even Seda would believe as natural.      

“See you soon.”     

You let Seda end the call, a little power play you allowed him to have. God, it was gonna feel good to take him down.     

Steve shifted in his seat, stopping the recorder in time for his question. He cleared his throat awkwardly, “Why did your dad assume we were a couple?”     

You gave him a tiny chuckle, pulling the blanket back over your shoulders and settling back into your seat. “I don’t know why that man says anything anymore. I guess they just expected it.”     

“Why?”     

No matter how many years passed, both awake or frozen, Steve never did quite understand the sexual appeal that lingered around his name. No matter how many times Bucky joked about it, no matter the amount of social media posts, no matter anything - he just didn’t seem to understand why people thought he was a ladies man. 

You snuggled deeper into your blanket, scanning the outside woods one last time just in case. “You wouldn’t risk your reputation and status for me unless you were fucking me, I guess.”

“Crude.”

You turned your head to him and sighed, “They think I’m the whore of the family. It’s just too funny sometimes.”

Steve’s face fell, “I’m sorry about that.”

You shuffled in your blanket to pull your arm out and wave it in the air.  “Used to it.” 

Steve didn’t press further, deciding to lay back finally to find a cozier position. It was quiet for a few minutes, just breathing and slight motion disturbing the silence. You opened your eyes and stared at the moonlight hitting the steering wheel. By the sound of Steve’s breathing, you knew he wasn’t fully asleep yet. So you allowed yourself the smallest confession, a crack in the door Steve was figuratively standing outside of.

“My sister is his prized possession, though.”

Steve didn’t respond, but from the sound of the blanket moving you could tell he had turned to face you. 

“Never knew why.”

Steve pondered your words for a long time, long after your breathing became slower and tiny snores left your mouth. He didn’t exactly know what to say or what to do. It wasn’t like you dropped top secret information on him or anything, but it made him wonder just why in the world your father hated you so much. 

You had done everything asked of you. You were controlled, tortured mentally everyday, having to endure and make decisions that Steve knew you didn’t want any part of. Your father should be thanking you for keeping his business afloat, for expanding it, for roping Steve’s own name into that life. As he contemplated any rational reason for such hate, he heard your soft snore turn into an innocent purr, and he felt himself leaning more into a mutual understanding. It frightened him, gripping his reality by the throat, because Steve actually knew why. That innocence he saw with you, no doubt had presented itself to your father involuntarily and your father knew. 

He knew you were good at heart. 

~

Taglist: @dumb-ass-writer​ @justab-eautifulmess​ @supraveng​ @mycosmicparadise​

[acourtofsnakes]

Kov’nyn - Rogue, Chapter 13| The Mandalorian x Force Sensitive! Reader (f)

Summary: The night after Din rescued you from your nightmare, you realise you have a lot to think about… and you might just reach a decision that could change your fate. 

Word count: 7k+

Warnings: None I think, in this one. Like one swear? Weapons/knives – not used in violence - Mainly just soft fluffy times! 

AN: This one is pretty gentle, nothing super big really happening. I thought I’d give you all a rest after the rollercoaster of the last chapter~

Also, time to play Spot The Easter Egg again!! Theres a quote in here from Six of Crows... can you find it?

Gif belongs to me♥︎

Rogue Masterlist | Introduction| 1: Solus| 2: Arir | 3: Tor | 4: Gaa'tayl | 5: Kyr’am | 6: Cabur | 7: Ret'urcye Mhi | 8: Haran| 9: E’tad | 10: Tome | 11: Aliit ori'shya tal'din| 12: Mar’eyce | 13: Kov’nyn| 

Rogue Taglist: @snipskixandbeskar @weirdowithnobeardo @the-bottom-of-the-abyss @jackgrzs @sarahjkl82-blog @boomtownboy @goldielocks2004 @seninjakitey​ @what-iwish-you-knew​ @queenofthefaceless​

Mando’a Translation: Kov'nyn  - Keldabe kiss

You stirred to the feeling of a pleasantly heavy arm resting over your torso. 

You froze, body going rigid on instinct at feeling the intrusion. Further inspection revealed a leg slung over yours and you could feel the line of armour digging into your calf. 

Armour?

Oh. Of course.

The Mandalorian. 

The previous night came flooding back to you in full technicolour, sending a slow wave of heat across your skin and relaxing your body. You remembered the horror of your nightmare, and then the Mandalorian coming in, soothing you, laying with you and then…

Everything that happened after. 

It didn’t even take that much concentration to imagine his hands again, those delightful touches. The husky roughness of his voice as he praised you, coaxed you to the edge and held you as you tumbled over. 

And then… he told you his name. 

He had given you a part of himself, something that was so poignant and personal. It made him who he was, gave him his identity and separated him from “The Mandalorian.” 

Din Djarin. 

Din. 

It was a gorgeous name. Simple, to the point. 

You had to admit, it suited him in that sense. But it felt like starlight on your tongue, and it was yours. He had given it to you, entrusting you with such a precious part of himself. 

In your opinion, tt was as significant as taking off his helmet, and it had settled in a place tucked against your heart, curled there and warmed you from the inside out. 

Din was still asleep next to you – you assume -  on his side. You had since rolled onto your back in the night, which did mean you were precariously close to the edge of the bed. 

Din hadn’t moved at all, presumably used to having to be still from all the times he spent wedged into the medical bay compartment on his side, with no room to move and Grogu in his hammock above him.

You could get used it, waking up with him. 

The modulator in his helmet allowed you to hear the soft, deep rhythm of his breathing and his armour had warmed overnight where it lay against your skin. 

You couldn’t remember the last time you woke up next to someone and had such an immense feeling of safety and comfort. 

This truly was home – wherever the Mandalorian was. 

Wherever Din was. 

You weren’t sure how long you laid there for, but you did know you were staring to get uncomfortable. The thin mattress – if you could even call it that – was irritating you, making you feel a little restless in this position. 

You could feel Din’s hand against your side, but you weren’t sure if his hands were still bare or not. Sleep had taken you before him, so you weren’t awake to witness him pulling them back on. 

You didn’t dare look properly, not wanting to lay your eyes on his bare skin, to break his Creed. So, you opened your eyes to slits, carefully peering across the room and you didn’t see any sign of his gloves. 

You tried to concentrate, to see if you could feel if he had his gloves back on. The blanket and your top didn’t really provide much help in that matter, naturally. 

Maybe you could wriggle a little? See if that did anything?

Of course, you could touch his hands, and then you would know. But the two times you had felt his bare skin previously, he was awake, and you had his consent. He was asleep, and therefore couldn’t tell you if it was okay or not.  

Wriggling it is. 

You began your movement, gently squirming with your hips shuffling side to side, to see if that would provide any knowledge on the matter – not that you thought it would. Truthfully, you didn’t know what you were doing. It was possible your brain still hadn’t engaged after being thoroughly wrecked last night in all ways. 

Unfortunately, a bed that was barely wide enough for you, combined with wriggling around and trying not to wake Din… Well, there was only one way it could end. 

With you dumped on the cold, metal floor. 

And taking the blanket with you. 

And yelping in surprise. 

“Cyar'ika?”

So much for not waking Din up. 

You groaned, rubbing your elbow where you had landed on it and then tried to untangle yourself from the blanket. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.” 

The helmet appeared over the side of the bed, “Don’t be, I was already awake. What are you doing on the floor?” 

You rose to your knees and sighed, resting your chin on the edge of the cot, “I was uncomfortable, and I wanted to move, but I didn’t want to open my eyes in case you didn’t have your gloves on. And I didn’t know you were awake.”

Din tilted his head at you, “And that made you fall out of the bed?”

Resting the urge to stick your tongue out at him, you shook your head, “No, I was…” Here we go, “I was trying to feel if you had them on. Without touching you.”

Din was silent. 

It sounded like he sucked in a breath to speak, only to let it out again. 

He made a thoughtful noise. “I see. So… Instead of turning your cheek against my hand which was under your head by the way, you instead decided to try and… wriggle.. to feel my hand.” 

You narrowed your eyes at him, having completely not realised his arm was still beneath your neck. “Yes.”

“Through the blanket.”

“Yes.”

“And your top.”

“… Yes.”

Din made a thoughtful noise again, “I see.” 

Then he started laughing, that gorgeous, rare sound that he had made only a few times in your presence. Sure, you sometimes got a chuckle, but this laugh was like liquid honey. 

Even if it was at your expense. 

“Hey!” You crossed your arms, trying not to laugh too, “Do not laugh at me! It’s your fault! You were awake and watched me struggle!”

The laughter still echoed out of the helmet as he laid back, a hand on his chest, “For someone who has so much grace in everyday life, you are terrible when it comes to night-time and early morning.” 

You rose to your feet this time, pushing your weight onto one leg and copying his ‘hands on hips’ pose, “Oh, because you’re so smooth?” You stuck your tongue at him, “Tin can.” You turned your back on him, meaning to walk from the room. 

You heard movement, and then he was suddenly behind you, catching your hand and lacing his fingers through yours, “Hey, come back to bed.” The laughter was still in his voice, turning it a little softer – and that combined with the coaxing tug to your hand… 

How could you say no to that?

Without turning around, you tried to carry on walking to the door and at least appear strong-willed, “After you just laughed at me? You think you can use that honeyed tone and I’ll come falling into your arms?” You arched an eyebrow, looking over your shoulder

Din gave your hand another gentle tug, stopping you in your tracks “I believe you were falling into my arms last night.” His chest bumped up against your back gently, and his other hand trailed lightly on your hip, just the barest touch in case you didn’t want it. 

Maker.

Heat creeped along your cheeks, and the ghost of his touch trailed over you again, leaving you speechless. 

He had you there. 

The grin on his lips was obvious even through the helmet as he succeeded in tugging you back into his body, winding his arms around your waist. His head ducked down, and you felt the cool beskar brush your ear, “How do you feel...? After last night?” His voice was soft and tender despite his teasing. And you knew he wasn’t just referring to the moment. 

Your body instantly turned boneless, and you melted back into him, fitting against the planes of his body, “I feel… good. Really. A little shaken up still but… you really helped me. Thank you for coming to me… again.” Your heart beat a little uncomfortably in your chest, anxiety trembling in your belly as it always did on the rare occasions you spoke about your darker emotions out loud. 

Din either felt or sensed this, because he rested the chin of his helmet on your shoulder, holding you back into him with his thumb running over your hip, “I’ll always come to you. Whenever you need me, I’ll be right there. And if for some reason I don’t wake up, you can come and find me, okay? Don’t suffer alone.” 

A lump rose in your throat and you nodded, not trusting your voice to speak. 

It was still so new to you, this care and attentiveness from someone. And even more so, letting someone care about you. 

It was always just you, on your own. If you got hurt, you had to fix yourself up. If you were hungry, it was either hunt, gather or steal your food – or go hungry. 

And if you were having a day that things were overwhelming you… well, you had to deal with that on your own too. Usually, you would just push it to the back of your mind, keep going on and on and on. If you didn’t stop, you didn’t feel. 

Which is probably why everything had caught up with you a lot more these past few months. 

For the first time in your life, you were slowing down. Stopping to breathe, to take note of your surroundings and to listen to what your body wanted for comfort rather than survival.

And so, everything that had been bottled up and restrained had begun to seep out. 

Including your powers. 

Din ran his thumb over your hip again, in lazy circles, “It doesn’t make you weak, needing help.” He always seemed to know the direction of your thoughts, “It makes you strong. Being able to admit that you need help, letting yourself feel everything. And I’ll always help you with whatever you need. And however much you want to give me, that’s okay too.” He squeezed your hip lightly, “We’re a clan, remember?” He let you go gently, and you would never know that he was referring not only to your trauma, but your powers too. Trying to tell you subtly that it was okay. He wasn’t scared of you, or what you could do. And he would wait. 

But, instead, you turned to him, smiling softly with the light back in your eyes that he adored to see, “Okay… thank you.” You reach up, gently caressing the side of his helmet, “And you remember that you can share with me too… always.” You rose up on tiptoe, kissing the side of the helmet and then dropped back down to your feet. 

Din nodded slightly, his hand caressing up your side once more and then he let you go, “I’ll leave you to get dressed.” He grazed the back of his finger to your cheekbone and then left the room.

~~

~~~

A few hours later, you were back travelling, playing with Duru’s tail as she laid across her spot next to the big open window. 

Din turned around in his seat to look at you, hands resting on his thighs in that achingly familiar pose, “I have to pick something up from somewhere today… Would you mind staying here to look after the kids? I’m not shutting you away or keeping you grounded, it’s just that it’s not the kind of place I want Grogu in… and it’ll only be for about an hour or so.” 

The vagueness of his explanation piqued your curiosity and you looked over at him, “Pick something up from somewhere? My my, Din, you have such a way with words!” Playfulness filtered through your tone, but it didn’t quite hide the small hitch in your voice as you said his name. 

You would never get used to it, you didn’t think. 

The fact that you knew his name. That you could say it, whenever you pleased – as long as you weren’t around anyone else of course. 

By the way his chest stuttered, you knew he wouldn’t either. You could sense the eye-roll though, “Ahaha. I have to keep a few things to myself; you know. How else am I going to keep you around?” 

You blinked at him, feigning surprise, “Oh, you – you think I stay here for you?” Shaking your head rapidly, you held up Grogu, who had been toddling around on the floor in front of you, “Me and Duru stay here for him. You’re just an added body.” 

Grogu cooed brightly, raising his arms in the air and patting your cheeks as you lifted him. To you, it sounded like he agreed. 

 You smiled widely at him, lifting your eyes back to Din, “He agrees with me.” 

Din mock sighed loudly, turning back around with a mutter that sounded something like, “Maker, save me.” 

You chuckled, leaning back in your seat and holding out Grogu’s ball to him, “But yes, that’s fine. I don’t mind staying here whilst you go about getting things from places.” 

Truly, you didn’t mind. You needed to sharpen your vibrobrade which was looking a little worse for wear lately. And besides, you would be more than happy playing with the kid and Duru for an hour or so – you needed some privacy to have a little meltdown over last night. 

~~

~~~

A few hours later, Din had landed the Crest and had set off to ‘pick something up from somewhere.” 

Before he left, he’d ruffled the kid’s ears, stroked Duru’s chin and then ran the back of his finger across your cheekbone, giving you a lingering look – through the helmet, of course – and then set off. 

You’d then brought your blade up to the cockpit where the kids were, and settled into the pilot’s seat, beginning to sharpen your blade. 

The Crest was sealed tight, so you were all safe, and the landscape outside of the windows provided you with a dusty, barren view. 

As you sharpened your blade, you let your mind wander, allowing it to take the flow of whatever thoughts it decided. 

Naturally, it was going to be one of two things. 

Din, or your powers. 

Today, your mind chose the topic of powers.

You knew that you couldn’t hide them from Din forever. It had been months now since you’d met, and he still had no clue about it, about why you had such a bounty on your head. 

And he’d given you so much, not only by choosing to spare you and keep you safe, but by also given you his name.

And not only that, but every single little thing in between. From making sure you were fed, to coming to check on you after your nightmares. 

He would give you his cape if you were cold or offer up extra blankets. 

And it wasn’t that he thought you were incapable of doing those things yourself, or that you needed to be ‘cared for’. He knew that you were capable and resourceful, and he knew how strong you were. 

He knew that you were stronger than you believed yourself to be, so it wasn’t that at all.

 You knew it was because… he liked having someone else there. 

Sure, it disrupted his routines and he still wasn’t used to it, which you could tell because you felt exactly the same. You still hadn’t become accustomed to waking up in someone else’s presence or going to sleep and trusting another person to stay awake – and not kill you. 

And perhaps the biggest change for him was that now, with you there as well as the kid, there were even less chances for him to remove his helmet and armour and let his skin breathe. 

He had mentioned as much to you before in passing, that he had to be more careful with Grogu around, and even though he hadn’t said it, your presence meant those times were even rarer. 

He didn’t even have the privacy of his own room to do so – he had given that up for you. 

Another thing to add to the list. 

He deserves to know. 

You knew the voice was right. He did deserve to know. 

And not because you felt you owed him for what he’d given up for you – that wasn’t it at all. 

This journey you were on, the way your lives were tightly woven together… who were you to watch him put a bigger target on his head – and not even tell him why?

A sigh heaved its way out of your chest. 

You wanted to tell him so badly, you felt it in your chest. 

But you didn’t know how. 

How would you bring it up? 

“Hey, Din? I have something to tell you… The reason I have the highest bounty ever on my head is because… well... I’m Force Sensitive. I’m not a Jedi or anything but I have the ability to use the Force. Oh, what’s the Force, you ask? Well, it’s the energy that flows in and around every living thing.” 

That just sounded cringey and ridiculous, and you doubted he would even know what the Force was. He didn’t even know that’s what the kid had. 

Hell, you had never even acknowledged to yourself out loud that it was the Force. 

It just… seemed ridiculous to you. 

The Force belonged to the Jedi. If you had the power, you trained to be a warrior and a guardian of peace and life. 

You didn’t go on the run and kill people. 

You didn’t deserve to be associated with that kind of honour. Even if you never trained to be an actual Jedi… you didn’t deserve it. 

But you couldn’t go on like this, hiding it. 

Every time a silence fell, it was sitting there, waiting to burst out and just finally tell him, tell someone. And you knew that once you started, you wouldn’t stop. 

The whole story would come out. 

Your parents, the market, the first time you killed to save your own life and every time after that. He would learn about how good it felt, the sick power that washed over you and then the horrendous shame and guilt that had you vomiting for hours after. 

The story of how you ended up on top of that cliff and then in the water would come out. 

All of it, every single thing that had tied you to this life would be revealed. 

It would all be laid bare to him, leaving you as open and exposed as if he had removed his own armour. 

And that’s what terrified you. 

He would know every single thing, and it would be his decision how to take it. 

And you would respect it, whatever it was. 

If he wanted you gone, far away from himself and his kid, then you would go. Willingly. 

Sure, it would kill you, but you would understand why. 

But if he looked over it all, the darkness, the running, your power… If he looked at it, acknowledged the bad but saw how it had created the good, the fun, the way you’d gone from tripping over a bow to being able to shoot with your eyes closed and the light that had grown in you… If he saw every single thing, and still wanted to be with you…

Well, you didn’t quite know how to take that. 

You might well cry. 

And… if you were honest, you’d built yourself up to telling him. You decided yesterday that you were going to tell him this afternoon. 

But then you had that nightmare. 

Of course, you knew that he would never harm you, never hold a knife to your throat and drive it into your heart. That wasn’t what you were worried about. 

It was your reaction. 

The way the power had exploded and destroyed him. 

What if you got too worked up when you told him, and you couldn’t control it?

You’d restrained it for so long, for twenty years and it was started to come out. 

And you hadn’t admitted it to yourself but… it was becoming agony. 

The aches and pains that you had tried to write off as from hunting or the thin bed… 

You knew it wasn’t. 

It was the strain of holding back your power. 

You needed to let it go, to finally open yourself up and accept it, whatever it may be. 

You just didn’t know how. 

A soft coo brought you out of your rapidly spiralling thoughts. 

You lifted your attention from your knife, and found Grogu holding his metal ball, sitting in your usual co-pilot’s chair. He waved it in his hand, gurgling and you just knew, somehow, that he was asking to play catch. 

A broad smile lit your face, and you sheathed your knife, stowing it to the side, “Of course, little guy, I’ll play catch with you.” You turned your attention to him fully and held out your hand, “Whenever you’re ready, Gu.” The affectionate nickname had developed a few days ago, and the kid loved it. 

He lifted his hand, his little forehead furrowing in concentration, and then the ball lifted, floating in the air slowly toward you where it dropped into your palm. 

A feeling of warm pride filled your chest, and you laughed a little, clapping your hands, “Well done!! You’re getting better at that!” 

Din had told you that sometimes he struggled to use his powers and if he used them for a particularly long time, or for something intense, it would completely wipe him out. 

He told you he’d been gently coaxing him to use them, to be more confident with them and praise him for every small achievement - at the recommendation of a friend. 

You lifted the ball up, “Ready to catch it?” You threw it across the cockpit, gently, so he would have time to stop it. 

Which he didn’t. 

It fell straight into his lap… but that may have been because he didn’t even bother to lift his hand. He just looked at you. 

You tilted your head slightly, remembering Din’s words, “That’s okay, you can try again!” You held your hand out ready. 

A few moments later, it plopped back into your palm. You praised him, then threw it back, but yet again he let it land in in his lap without trying. 

Four turns later, and he started to huff every time you threw the ball, his ears twitching like he was annoyed. 

You sighed a little, “Gu, c’mon buddy… Try at least? For me? You send it to me perfectly, why won’t you catch it?” You raised your eyebrows a little, voice still encouraging but a little firm – again, as Din had relayed back to you as the best way. 

The kid just grumbled, his ears raising and falling again, and he pointed at your hand. 

Lifting the ball, you nodded, “I know you want the ball, but you have to try and catch it with yo-“

His rapidly shaking head stopped you. He pointed more emphatically at your hand, his glossy eyes wide and then you realised exactly what his problem was. 

He wanted you to throw the ball, sure… but not physically. 

He wanted you to use your power. 

Shaking your own head, you feigned innocence, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

Grogu simply wiggled his little feet and waited. 

And so did you. 

You stared him down, rolling the ball in your hands, “You know, I really do not know what you’re referring to. You’re mistaken. Now, catch the ball, you little womp rat.” You let your affection for him show in your tone, so he would know you weren’t being mean. You tossed the ball toward him. 

His palm lifted and it stopped mid-air, before whizzing back at you with speed, straight toward your head. 

Your own hand whipped up and you caught it just before it could bonk you on the nose, “Hey! Don’t throw things at me!” 

His ears flapped in annoyance and he make some kind of noise, waving his hands. 

And then he opened his mouth to cry. 

With a groan of defeat, you rubbed your forehead, “Fine! Fine. You’re right. I have the same powers as you.” 

His mouth immediately closed and broke into a wide grin. 

Cheeky little thing. 

You held yourself very still, gazing down at this tiny creature, who had apparently guessed your one big secret. Tilting your head the other way, you narrowed your eyes a little, “How did you guess?” 

Grogu mimicked your head tilt but revealed nothing. He just watched you, smiling happily and patting his hands together to wait for the ball. 

All of your life a secret, and a tiny green baby with an affinity for frogs and space macarons had managed to work you out. 

You couldn’t help the laugh, shaking your head at the whole situation, “You are a clever little baby aren’t you, huh?” You watched him for a little while, and then lifted up your hand flat, letting the ball rest in your open palm. 

You took a deep breath, focusing on the ball. 

Easy. Just concentrate. 

You closed your eyes, slowing your breathing, allowing it to relax in time with the beating of your heart. Ignoring the beeping of the Crest, the worry of using it, you focused simply on the ball, and the air around it. Imaging it rising from your palm, gliding across the air and landing in Grogu’s little hand. 

As simple as that. 

You swallowed, and then opened a tiny gate in that cage, a small gasp releasing from your lungs as the power thrummed through your blood, letting you feel the space ahead of you, the empty air becoming a malleable thing, and you tried not to flinch as the weight of the ball vanished from your palm. 

A breath in, a breath out. Focus. 

Like an invisible hand, you began to guide the ball across the open air, as if it caressed the ball like a boat and carried it across the ocean. 

You were nearly there; you could feel it. The ball was nearing Grogu’s palm, and you were dimly aware of his delighted noises, pride in his own glee like you had for him. 

Nearly there. 

You were doing it. You were controlling that wave, keeping it restrained and focused where you needed it. It was easy and it felt… it felt good. Natural, like breathing.  

This was what you’d missed for the last twenty years, being able to spread it wide or bring it in narrow. 

You didn’t need to be scared, if you could focus it in minimal amounts like this. 

It was okay, you were okay and –

“Sweetheart? Grogu?”

The suddenness of din’s voice broke your concentration and the ball fell to the floor with a soft thunk. 

Your eyes snapped open as your heart leapt into your both and you looked toward the entrance to the cockpit, hoping he was below, hoping he hadn’t seen. 

It was empty. 

The sound had come right from below, as he looked for you. 

You swallowed, keeping your voice even, “Up here.” You turned your gaze to Grogu, knowing you looked as pleading as you sounded, “Please don’t tell him…” You whispered the words, but you knew he understood, the ball zipping to his hand as if he had been playing with it the whole time. 

Gratitude for the small creature flooded your heart and you smiled at him, a little shakily as Din’s shiny head popped up the ladder. 

“Hey, sorry I was a little longer than expected…” He reached the top of the ladder, rising to stand at his full height. He saw you in his seat, one of his hands coming to rest on his hip, “Oh, I see it didn’t take you long to replace me.” He motioned to you in his chair, the husky tone of his voice teasing. 

You leant back in the chair, swaying it from side to side slightly with a grin, “Nope. Not at all. We don’t need you. You can go back out if you want. Shut the door on your way out.” You tilted your head back against the chair, one leg lounged over the arm like it was a throne. 

He called you princess still, so why not play on it?

Did you not deserve a fancy dress and a crown?

Of course, you had no idea what this sight was doing to him, playing on a fantasy he’d had for a while now about this cockpit and that particular pilots chair. 

He laughed, shaking his head and he rested against the side of the cockpit, arms crossed and pulling the fabric of his clothes tight – much to your own delight. “Right, I’ll just grab my things and leave, then. It’s been good knowing you, princess.” 

This. 

This was what you loved. The fact that you could have moments like last night, intense and passionate – or snarling and angry – and still retain the playful teasing that had always hovered between you. 

You shook your head, grinning softly, “Nah, I’m kidding. I need you around to fly the ship… I have actually no idea how to.” You looked over your shoulder at the control panel, the mass of buttons and switches and lights. 

Put you in front of a forest to track an animal or spot a hunter or present you with a variety of leaves and plants and you could identify them all. Give you a few meagre supplies and you’ll have a selection of weapons crafted in minutes. 

But flying a ship?

No, thank you. 

Din chuckled, and you knew he was grinning beneath the helmet, “I’ll teach you one day.” He straightened up suddenly and held out his hand, “Come with me.” 

With a tilt of your head, you unwound yourself from the chair and slid your hand into his, the worn leather soft against your palm and fingers, “Where are going?” 

Din tugged you gently toward the ladder, “I got you something...” His voice was a little quieter as he waited for you to descend the ladder. 

You peered up at him, pausing to lower yourself down, “When you were off getting things from places?” You tried not to smile, your lips twitching. 

Din huffed softly, and there was an implied verbal eyeroll there, “Get down the damn steps before I push you down them myself.” 

Your laugh floated up as you descended, “And I would grab your foot on the way down and take you with me.” 

A few moments later, you were making your way through the ship again. 

Din stopped at the weapons cabinet, then turned to face you, “Close your eyes.” 

You raised an eyebrow at him, eyes flicking to the weapons cabinet and then him, but you did as you were told, closing your eyes. 

“Hold out your hands.” 

Lips twitching again, you held out your hands obediently. 

There was the sound of the cabinet opening and then rustling from within. 

A pause. 

Then you felt smooth, cool metal resting on your palms, across them both but you could tell it was wider. 

You tilted our head curiously, brows furrowing a little as your fingers curled around the mysterious object. 

Din’s voice sounded again, sounding… almost hesitant, “Open...” 

Light filtered back in as you opened your eyes, looking down at the object in your hands. 

Your breathing stopped in awe as you beheld the most gorgeous bow you had ever seen. 

The metal was a sleek matte black, dimly reflecting the light of the ship back at you. 

Inlaid into the metal was a gorgeous swirling design which spread across the arch of the bow. In the centre, where your arrowhead would rest against, a full moon created the focal point of the engraving. 

Just like your tattoo.

Din silently extended his hands, and he was holding a matching quiver and arrows. Everything matched the bow, and the same gold design was etched down the body of the arrows. They ended in wickedly sharp, curved heads and just be the feel and weight of them, you knew they were deadly accurate and fast. 

Quite simply, it was the most stunning weaponry you’d ever laid your eyes upon. 

It was the perfect size for your body, and when you held it up to test the flexibility, it was exactly as you were used to, just like the bow you had lovingly cherished before you lost it on Sorgan. 

This had been made purposely for you. 

Din had taken your measurement – of course he knew them, - and somehow got every single tiny detail perfect. The string wasn’t too taught or hard to maneuverer. It responded to your touch, exactly as you wanted to. 

You lifted your eyes to Din, your expression one of awe and… just simple adoration. 

It took you a few tries to speak, finding your throat has closed up a slightly with tears. You cleared it, though your voice remained husky, “Din… This…” You shook your head, no words being strong enough to relay to him how much you loved it, how perfect it was. 

Din was fiddling with his vambrace as he watched you, “Do you like it? I hope I got your measurements right… I had it commissioned a few weeks ago and it was only just finished. I… The design is a play on your tattoo.” He audibly swallowed, “If anything isn’t right, we can take it back and get it changed. Or if you don’t like it, you can have something completely new m-”

“Din, shush.” Gazing across the bow, you caressed the design with your fingertips, “It’s… beyond perfect. Truly. I couldn’t have designed it any better myself.” You lifted your eyes back to him, a swelling feeling in your chest, “This must have cost a fortune…” 

He shook his head a little, his shoulders relaxing and his hands stilling when he saw how much you truly adored it, “Cara told me that you were discussing your favourite weapons one day… You’d told her that as familiar as you were with knives, you missed your bow.” 

Oh, you did. You knew it wasn’t always the most suitable weapon – considering the number of different blasters and rifles that your pursuers used – but sometimes it had allowed you to escape before the fight had even begun. Perched high in a tree, an arrow whistling you the air in deadly silence and then it was over. 

And now you had one. 

An absolutely stunning one at that. 

A soft laugh of delight slipped from your chest and then you were grinning broadly, “Oooh, I can’t wait to use this. You think I’m lethal with a knife, you should see me with one of these.” You nocked one of the arrows, testing the resistance now it was loaded, and you sighted along it, “We have to go play, soon, I beg you.”

Din chuckled adoringly, fully relaxing at your excitement, “Of course...” He watched you quietly for a moment, leaning back against the cabinet. “In Mandalorian culture… giving weapons can sometimes symbolise – well, not all the time but within some households and clans – it can.. uh-“ He lifted a hand like he was going to scratch the back of his neck, another awkward habit that seemed so out of place. 

You looked over at him, carefully setting the arrow back in the quiver, “What can it mean?” You kept your voice light and casual, as if you didn’t notice his fumbling. 

Din cleared his throat, “It can sometimes mean a marriage proposal.” 

The quiver fell to the floor in a rattle of metal that broke through the air. 

He was playing you, right?

You stooped to the quiver, carefully scooping the arrows back in, “I – uh.. You mean-“

Din was watching you intently, “It doesn’t always mean it, but some couples present each other with a new weapon to signify their bond. And that they want to spend the rest of their days together. 

Blood pulsed through your ears, making your belly feel funny and your bones feel light. “I… I mean, I know a lot has happened between us, and-“

Din suddenly burst out laughing, lifting a hand to his chest like he could try to contain it, but it just kept coming. 

Rising back to your feet, you raised your eyebrows at him, confusion etched on your face at the sudden turn of his behaviour. 

The laughter poured from his lips like sunshine, stirring your chest out of its confusion and filling it with adoration. “Oh, you should have seen your face.” He tilted his helmet to you, trying to quell his laughter. 

You huffed, crossing your arms over your chest, “When we go and use these, remind me to put you in front of a tree.” 

Din tried to speak straight through his chuckles, “And why’s that?”

Walking toward him, you poked him in the chest, “So I can use you as target practice, you shiny asshole.” You tried not to laugh, to keep a straight face. The truth was, if you could have bottled his laughter and gotten drunk on it forever, you would have. It was the most beautiful sound you had ever heard, as rare and lovely as a shooting star. And you just knew that this man didn’t often laugh like this, so easily. 

His hand snaked around your wrist, gently pressing your palm flat to his chest as he contained his amusement, “I wanted to play with you… It is true, but I didn’t get them for that.” He tilted his head just slightly, “You’re a warrior, and… a goddess. So… you deserve the weapons to match.” 

So simple. Such easy words for him to speak, but the meaning and casual pride and care in his voice completely floored you. 

You still weren’t used to such compliments and showering’s of affection – you didn’t think you ever would be. 

The fact that he had complimented you more in your life than anyone else (save for your parents) had your eyes turning glass again, your throat closing a little as that realisation truly set in. 

This man believed in you, saw you, more than anyone. 

You gazed up at him, through the visor of his helmet and not for the first time, you had the truly selfish thought, that you wished he could take it off. 

So you could show him just how much he meant to you, show him how his words held you above water when you were drowning. 

You weren’t good with them, no better than he was really, but you just wished you could show him. He deserved it, to feel those same feelings in return, to be praised and adored for the brilliant man he was. 

Din tilted his head further, his thumb running over your knuckles, “What’s going through that magnificent brain of yours, cyar'ika? Tell me…” The soft, low tenor of his voice never failed to skitter over your bones like fire. 

You bit your lip, the words tumbling out before you could stop them, “I wish I could kiss you.”

Not even two seconds later, it crashed through your brain just how that sounded, how ungrateful and selfish it came across. Your eyes closed in disgust at yourself and you flushed in shame, “Maker, I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry for how that sounded, please believe me, I didn’t-”  

Suddenly, Din moved. He leant down and rested the forehead of his helmet on yours. 

The metal was cool, the weight of it gently pressing against your skin, shutting you up with the unfamiliar gesture. 

Din lifted his other hand to your waist, resting his hand there lightly – respectfully. “Kov'nyn.”

You blinked a few times, “Kov… huh?” You guessed it was Mando’a, but you had no idea what it meant. 

His thumb lightly rubbed over your hip bone, sending tiny shockwaves through you, “Kov'nyn.” He used his other hand to gesture at the position you were in, “This is called a keldabe kiss. It can be used in battle, as a headbutt or something but it can also be a show of affection. Mandalorian’s don’t show each other their faces until marriage… so instead we do this. A keldabe kiss.”

You were quiet as you absorbed that, the soft sweetness of the gesture, your head tilted up to Din, and something in you told you he was gazing into your eyes. 

It was incredibly intimate too, despite the later of armour separating you. 

He couldn’t quite offer you the kiss you meant, but he could give you this. And… this was as good as showing each other the affection you intended. 

You didn’t know how long you stood there, his hand lightly on your waist, yours still on his chest but then you started to laugh at something. 

He tilted his head slightly against your forehead, “What now?” His voice was light though, curious as to what had tickled you this time. 

You grinned cheekily, tapping your fingertips over his chest. “Again with the marriage talk. Are you sure you don’t need to tell me something?”

Din laughed too, that heart-stopping, gorgeous laugh, filling the space with starlight and joy, “No. At least not yet, sweetheart.” 

~~~

~~

~

You gazed down at the comms unit. 

The code on the back of Rena’s card had been typed in and staring at you for the last twenty minutes. You were sitting cross-legged in your room, door firmly shut after your wash in the ‘fresher. 

Din was in there now; you could hear the echo of the water splashing down. 

You were only going to change clothes and go back to the cockpit, but when you’d taken them off, Rena’s card had fallen out and… here you were. 

Just call him. 

Your thumb hesitated over the call button, nerves whispering through your blood. 

Was this a good idea? To ask for help? 

There was still the matter of how he knew about you, and how he found you in the first place. 

Maybe this isn’t a good idea. 

Din would be furious, he doesn’t trust him. He thinks he’s a legend come to life.

True, Din would be so pissed.

But… this wasn’t Din’s decision to make. 

It was yours. 

Ever since your parents died, you had been running. From hunters, from the law but mostly... from yourself. 

You were being stalked and hunted for your powers. 

The very thing that you once adored and made you unique, and special, you now viewed as… a burden?

No... that wasn’t it. It was never a burden. 

Yes, it sometimes caused you more trouble than it was worth, and you did fear it but… you longed for it. 

With every fibre in your being, you wished you could utilise it. To once again make it a part of you and feel the purity of it. The energy that flowed in and around every single living thing, responding and allowing you to manipulate it. 

The little experiments you had started to conduct, testing to see if you could control even a small amount… they were making you crave it even more. Even though it terrified you and your nightmare had flashed back in your mind, you had managed to control it this afternoon with Grogu. 

Even if it was just a tiny ounce, it had listened to you – like you were one again. 

Rena had told you that there was nothing to fear from him. His sister had been gifted with the same abilities. 

Din would understand when you explained it to him… but you wanted to at least know more about how to control it. That way, you could tell him and… show him. Show him what you’d been hiding this whole time. 

Maybe it was time. 

Maybe it was time to stop being scared of it, of who you were. 

Maybe it was time to embrace it and become who you were meant to be. 

And so, you pressed the call button. 

Previous| Next

[makebank]

snow way

request: for the amazing @jjbanks “i was just wondering if you could write a ace!reader thing with jj. maybe like a little chilled movie night date with cuddles and such, but no sexual references or anything”

word count: 1.1k

warnings: none, cute and fluffy

a/n: sorry for the long wait, i decided to make it holiday themed hope that’s okay

Something is definitely up with JJ. All day he’s been acting off. You couldn’t quite figure out what it was though. You two weren’t exactly a couple, but it was for sure more than friends at this point. A couple kisses and sweet touches have been shared between the two of you. Lately, you have been wondering if he would ever want more with you. Something official. But with the way he’s been today, you think you might want to not get your hopes too high. 

Slumped onto the couch at the chateau, you roll your eyes at JJ fidgeting and pacing back and forth across the house. No one else was here, since they all ran to the store, and normally JJ would already have his lips on yours. His soft, gentle, sweet lips making you feel like jello in seconds.

Blowing out a loud and frustrated breath you sit up preparing for your feelings to be hurt. “JJ what’s the deal? You’re acting really weird. If it’s because you regret what we’ve been doing, it’s fine. Just say it and get it over with”. You slink back down wishing you hadn’t asked for your heart to be broken now.

He freezes mid pace and turns to stare at you with confusion laced through his features. He raises an eyebrow as he ponders if he’s certain he heard you correctly. “What? No no no you have it all wrong.” Now it’s your turn for your eyebrows to raise in uncertainty. When you make no move to respond, he saunters to your side on the couch. “Opposite actually. Sorry for being weird. I just… I just have been trying to ask if you’d like to have a date night?” You instantly perk up. “Really? I’d love to. What kind of date?” His smile quickly spreads lighting his face up. It’s contagious and has you grinning along with him. “I was thinking a Christmas movie night. Y’know since you kept saying you haven’t had a chance to watch all your favorites yet?” You throw your arms around his shoulders for a quick squeeze of appreciation. He pays attention to everything you say and it makes you all warm inside. “That’s perfect, JJ. My house tomorrow night?” He nods, “It’s a date”.

-

Giddly you set up your living room for the perfect movie night. You got out all your softest blankets and comfiest pillows and arranged them nicely across your couch. After putting on your grinch themed pajamas, you hear a knock at the front door.

Swiftly flinging the door open, you’re met with a blond attempting to carry way too many grocery bags. Speedily you reach to grab a few from him before they all fall. You both haul them to your kitchen counters and JJ sighs with relief from his freed arms. “What is all this?” you ask slightly out of breath, those things were heavy. 

“Movie night snacks! I got popcorn, hot cocoa, all your favorite candy, a couple different ice cream flavors, and some other stuff,” he smiles pointing out all the items. “Yeah a lot of other stuff. Are you trying to fatten me up for the winter?” He jokingly pushes your arm lightly, “Nah. I just want it to be perfect. Speaking of perfect, check out what I found!” He whips out two identical fuzzy socks with snowmen on them. They said “snow way’ on the top. “Did you get us matching socks to wear?” He nods his head way too excitedly. You smile thinking of JJ standing in an aisle deciding which of all the holiday socks he thought you would like.

You instantly rip open the package and slide the socks on to show your appreciation. You can tell how proud of himself he is as he puts his own on. “I’ll start popping the popcorn. You can go find a movie? You get first pick,” he offers. “You know I already have them all planned out in order. I’ll make the hot chocolate instead,” you smirk reaching for the snowflake covered mugs he bought. He shakes his head lightly silently thinking he should have known. 

“Snacks are all ready. What’s up first?” JJ plops himself next to you on the couch kicking up his fluffy sock covered feet onto the coffee table. “My personal favorite The Grinch! Jim Carrey’s acting just makes me die of laugh-” “Ow!” JJ interrupts from scalding his mouth on the overheated cocoa. “My bad, I think I heated it a little too much,” you apologize innocently while also chuckling at his theatrics. He squints in response to your laughter. “Anyways! As I was saying, then we’ll watch some newer movies like A Bad Moms Christmas and Daddy’s Home 2. After that we will watch Polar Express and then all of the Santa Claus movies. Well, we’ll try anyway. We might have to make this a whole weekend, because those barely skim the surface for all the movies I want to watch with you,” you suck in a large gasp of air to catch your breath. JJ just nods his head along trying to remember as much as possible. “Works for me. We have plenty of snacks to last us the weekend”. Your heart throbs for a moment realizing he’s perfectly okay spending all that time with just you. 

You start the first movie and settle into the couch to get comfortable. About twenty minutes in you’re aware blond hair is noticeably closer than it was before. You slightly scoot in matching his movements until you’re both flesh against the other’s side. Your whole body is warm and you’re not sure if it’s just his body heat or from him being so close. With his eyes glued to the screen, he starts to slide his hand closer to yours. Your palm starts to sweat from anticipation. You and JJ have shared many touches and kisses before so you weren’t sure why you were getting so nervous. Maybe it was because now you're more official? Regardless, you want this. You push the jitters away and allow him to intertwine your fingers.

He turns to you with a small smile, “Y/n?” You turn your head and are instantly lost in his eyes glowing from the Christmas lights. Drawn to his soft features and gentle nature towards only you, you finally muster out a ‘yes’. “This is the best date ever and I’m really glad it’s with you”. He just always knows the perfect thing to say to get your heart fluttering. “Me too, JJ”. He leans closer and places a soft kiss to your cheek before shifting back into the couch.

A couple movies in and you both are still glued to the other with your hands interlaced. A mess of limbs all cuddled together. You glance out the living room window and notice small flurries of snow slowly falling through the black open sky. Each individual snowflake is perfect and tranquil, much like you feel with JJ by your side now. 

[blackberry-gingham]

I love your writing so much!💗 could you write something about how each of the boys would calm the reader down after a panic attack?

FJDJSNSN YOU BET I WILL !!!

I actually do have a bit of a history with panic attacks, so I'm going to write these imagines kinda based on the sort of care ik I'd want to receive at least, so I hope these are like, realistic but not too angsty for anyone sksksk

But uh yeah, enjoy!

Oh and PSA that isn't mentioned in any of my imagines, but on this blog John has been getting the therapy he needs and deserves for a while now, so that's what's going on with all the references to stuff picked up from his "therapy/therapist" in this post and my others. Just wanted to clear that up✌🏻😌

George

Honestly, George is a very calm and trustworthy guy, so if you could, I think you'd do your best to seek him out while you know you're having a panic attack

And if you can't bc it's really bad, then you definitely would after it's over!

You slowly walk into the living room, your blanket wrapped around your shoulders

George turns to greet you, but his smile vanishes when he sees the red rims of your puffy eyes

You don't need to say a word, George is already up from his seat and coming over to protect you

The two of you communicate easily so George knows about your tendencies with panic attacks and by now he can spot when you've had one, just like he's doing now

"There now love, let's have a seat yeah?"

He guides you over to the couch and helps you sit

George rubs a little warmth into your arms, but decides another blanket would do better

Quickly he drapes the large, fluffy throw over you and promises to be right back

He disappears for a few moments while you situate yourself in the blankets

When he returns, he's brought a modest armful of your favorite snacks and a box of tissues, just in case

George sets everything down on the coffee table, except for a little tin of biscuits, which he takes with him as he joins you under the throw

He leans in and gives your cheek a kiss, "Kettle's on, we can have cocoa if you like"

You smile, and nod to let him know you heard

"Would you like to talk?"

"In a moment", you respond quietly

"Of course love"

George pulls you against his chest for a cuddle, then balances the tin between your laps

"Would you like one?"

You eye the variety to see if your favorite is left and then nod

By now you don't even have to request which one you want, George already knows

He picks it up and holds it out to you

Unfortunately, you're not quite feeling it yet, so you open your mouth wide instead

George picks up on the cue and holds the biscuit closer so you can take a bite, gently feeding it to you

The two of you take turns nibbling on snacks for a bit until the kettle comes to a boil

George goes off to fix hot chocolate for the two of you and returns with a pair of steaming mugs

When you're both settled, George gives you some space and let's you open up on what's troubling you

He hears you out and promises to do whatever he can to help you

And he's a man of his word, as you know

Afterwards, the two of you spend as long as you need relaxing on the couch, snacking and cuddling until you feel back up to speed

Of course, George wouldn't mind if you stayed here all day :)

John

I kinda feel like John would have like a sixth sense when it comes to anxiety tbh

Like when you're experiencing your panic attack, even if he's not there to necissarily see it happen, he just knows

You're in the middle of one now, when John peaks the door to your room open

"Everything alright love? You've been quite for some time-"

John finds you shaking and unresponsive, curled up in a blanket on the bed

As someone who struggles with anxiety himself, he knows exactly what's happening, so thankfully he doesn't panic like the other lads might

However, that doesn't mean it breaks his heart any less

John approaches calmly and sits besides you

You drag yourself up and apologize, a few tears streaming down your cheeks

But John just shushes you and holds you close

"We can talk when you're ready love"

You lean into him and do what you have to as you ride out the attack, while John holds you in a comfortingly tight embrace

When everything is over, John holds up on his promise and gives you the floor to talk about what's troubling you

He can be a great listener when he wants to, a trait he's exemplifying now as he holds you in his lap

Once you've said your peace, John would totally know how to validate your feelings and all that

"I'm so sorry love, I can't imagine how hard that must be for you. What can I do to help?"

For now, you feel best just being close to him

You lay down and John cuddles onto you a bit, just how you like, the warm weight of his body grounding you

He gives you some feather light kisses and keeps his voice calm and low

"This alright?"

You take a deep breath and nod, stroking his hair

It's times like this that John just feels flat useless

He knows what to say and some tricks to use from his therapy sessions for his own issues, but he wishes he could do more for you

Be charismatic and uplifting, like Paul would

Or warm and comforting like Ringo

Instead he's just a stoic lump

John looks up at you as a stray tear falls from your eye

He wishes so badly that he could take all your pain away

If he could, he'd bear the weight of the world, just to see you safe and happy

But for now, he hopes this old body of his is enough to help you feel warm, loved, and grounded

He shifts his weight a little so he can nuzzle your cheek

It's a bit too cold and damp for his sensitive nose, but he puts his personal discomfort aside

Well, there is one more trick he has up his sleeve that he hopes will help

John chooses one of your favorite songs of his and hums it to you quietly

The sound and vibrations combined with the warmth and pressure wraps you in a whole cocoon of John

You know that he wishes he was better with words, but honestly what he's doing now is what he usually does to steady you after an attack

And honestly?

It does far, far more for you then any sympathetic speech ever could

You give John's back a little rub and hold on tightly, hoping it can begin to express your gratitude

John smiles into your neck and hums just a bit louder, snuggling closer to you

Paul

I think Paul would be one who usually comes to find you after a panic attack

It's not that you don't feel comfortable with him, it's just... It feels rather embarassing to have breakdowns like that sometimes

Paul's always so confident and cool, you hate how your anxiety and panic attacks make you feel weak, especially compared to the likes of him

He finds you laid out on the couch, burritoed up in a blanket

He playfully asks what you're doing, but the look on your face is distant, as though your mind is a thousand miles away

Your eyes are rimmed red and you appear to have some shivers going on

Slowly, you turn your gaze to look at your boyfriend

Paul is frozen

He wants to help but he's not quite sure what's wrong. All he knows is he's desperately worried

"Paul..."

Your voice is hoarse and shallow as you call to him

Instantly, Paul snaps to action with no time to lose

He vaults the couch, careful not to land on you in the process and send beside you

"What is it? Tell me, tell me...", His voice is fairly calm, despite the begging in his tone

You get to the point, neither of you interested in beating around the bush, and tell him you just had a panic attack

You've told him about these before, but never at a point in time where he was able to care for you after you'd had it

Paul almost breathes a sigh of relief. Seeing you like this... He'd feared something much worse was wrong

Of course, this is still a very serious matter, but the catch is he's come prepared

Ever since you mentioned your history with anxiety and panic attacks, he's done some digging and research on what can be done to help

He's even consulted John on the matter!

There's plenty of things he can do, but Paul knows you respond best to his words

"Do you think you can sit up?"

You consider it a moment and then agree

Paul pulls you close to him, snuggling his face into the crook of your neck as he starts by speaking some words of encouragement and making sure you know how proud he is of you

The amount of affection he's laying on you takes you by surprise

You apologize for having him fuss over you, and your eyes start to water

Paul pulls back and looks at you as though he can't believe what he's heard, but his face softens when he sees you

"Oh no no no love, none of that now"

He wipes away your tears and asks if he's done something wrong

You shake your head, "No, I-I just wish I could be as put together as you, I guess"

At that one, Paul laughs

"I can't imagine why you'd want that. Matter of fact, I wish I was as strong and brave as you"

You look up at him questioningly, but Paul only nods

"it's true! I think you're incredible, living day to day like you do. You're a real fighter, you know that?"

He kisses your nose

"I don't want you to feel like you're not as 'brave' as I am because it's simply just not true!"

Paul smiles and brushes some hair from your face to reveal the little smile you've been hiding

Feeling a bit better at last, you open up your arms to invite Paul in for a cuddle

He readily accepts, and stays with you as long as you like

Ringo

I think the first time Ringo sees you after a panic attack, he'd be really worried about you!

You see, Ringo is just such an upbeat guy, no time ever really feels like a good time to tell him about your anxiety or panic attacks really

So when he witnesses it first hand, he's completely unprepared!

Ringo finds you laying face down on the bed, with your arms covering your head

He immediately freezes

His voice is dripping with fear as he cautiously calls your name

You barely stir, still riding out the end of a panic attack

Ringo is in a full panic now, and without another word he leaps onto the bed kneeling on all fours beside you

He wants so badly to touch you and make sure you're alright, but at the same time, he doesn't know what's wrong and he doesn't want to hurt you!

Instead, he places his palm on your back and gives you as gentle a shake as he can manage

"H-hey...?"

His voice is quivering and hardly more then a whisper

After a few moments it dawns on him that he can feel you shaking under his touch

Ringo sits up on his knees and whips around to find something to keep you warm

He stretches across the bed and yanks over a thin throw

By the time he's turned back to you, you've rolled over onto your back

You wipe your eyes and try to put on a brave face

"It's alright Ritchie, I'm fine..."

Ringo looks white as a sheet, his face stricken with worry

"No you're not!", he insists

He drapes the blanket over you, but decides that it isn't nearly warm enough and, like a giant cat, lays himself across your chest as well

"There now, are you warm enough? What can I do to make you better?"

You let your head fall back and close your eyes

Honestly you do feel a bit bad for him, but you simply don't have the energy to console him right now

Ringo gets off you for a moment and slides a pillow under your head before resuming his position

"How's that?"

You sigh, "Fine thank you. I'm just... getting over a panic attack love"

"Ooooh, I understand"

You lift your head up at that, and give him a confused look

"Yeah, John's had 'em back stage a couple times before a show now and then. He tells us about 'em sometimes and what to do and all"

Somehow you find that that does make sense, and so you lay back down, glad you don't have to explain yourself

"I-Is there anything you'd like me to do for you? John likes us to bring him some water usually... Would you like that?"

Ringo snuggles a little closer, looking down at you with big, puppy dog eyes

You smile a little. You're not use to receiving so much support after an attack like this

"Maybe later, right now I just need you. I-If that's alright..."

Ringo smiles and kisses your cheek before laying his head on the pillow beside you

"Yeah, I can do that..."

You hold onto him tight, grounding yourself and allowing the comfort to wash over you

Ringo stays with you until you've stopped shaking, runs off to put on the kettle, and then hurries back beside you to stay as long as you'll have him

[labyrinth-runner]

Having a Ball

An Obi-Wan x Reader Winter Tale, also a secret santa present from @starwarssecretsanta​ for @peacefulwizardfox

Word Count: ~3k

Warnings: None

Summary: It’s a fluffy wintery fic with some snowball fights.

Big thanks to @the-mandalorian-clone-lover for letting me bounce this off her.

The air was cool as it went right through your robes. A shiver went down your spine as you wished you had dressed in more layers. Obi-Wan had warned you that the planet was cold, and you remembered it being such when you were younger, but you had figured that you had grown in your training and could block out the cold by now. Such was your mistake.

Being here on this planet gave you the illusion that everything was normal. The world was a blanket of white, untouched in most places. In a word, it was peaceful. It was this serenity that made it one of the Order’s favorite places for brief meditative retreat. However, when you saw the list of people who had signed up for this trip, you were beginning to think that maybe it wouldn’t be as relaxing as it had been advertised.

You were excited for this retreat, though, having heard stories about Master Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker’s antics. Very rarely did you get to see them in action these days, with the war spreading you all out so thin, so you were keen to see the infamous duo get up to some of their shenanigans.

“Let’s set up camp for the night,” Master Windu advised.

Looking around, you noticed that there were no tents. A quizzical look settled into your features until you saw what your lodging was to be. 

The Jedi around you held their arms out, palms facing out, fingers splayed. Their eyes were closed in concentration as they reached out to the world around them. 

Shapes began to take form out of the snow,  ice rising from the ground as a building rose up in front of you. Closing your eyes, you joined them in lifting it up so that the door was accessible.

“Now that that’s done, time for the fun,” Anakin whispered to you as he knelt down to pack a ball of snow in his hands.

You raised a brow at him as he wound up and threw it, hitting Obi-Wan square in the face. Snow clung to his beard as he reached up to wipe it off, giving Anakin the dirtiest look as the younger Jedi snickered into his hand.

“Master, you’ve got a little something on your face,” Anakin said innocently.

Obi-Wan’s eyes narrowed as a clump of snow rose from the ground and hurled itself at Anakin, who ducked, causing the snow to hit you instead.

The crowd grew silent as you casually reached up and swiped the snow from your eyes to see a blushing Jedi Master sputtering an apology. Calmly, you reached down to pack your own snowball before returning the favor.

“SNOWBALL FIGHT!” Ahsoka yelled as everyone broke off into a free-for-all.

Snowballs whipped back and forth across the white expanse of space as haphazard forts were quickly erected to provide shelter from the cold ammunition being pelted every which way. You dove behind a snow bank, but the snow moved under your weight, sending you tumbling down a hill. The roll continued until you found yourself going from a slight tumble to a sheer drop into a cave. 

Looking up at the space you’d fallen through, you realized you wouldn’t be able to jump up unaided. You let out a sigh, sending a puff of air in front of your face. Turning to look at the cave, you noticed light shining through the icicles, indicating another entrance on the other side of the cave. Faintly, you heard the whistling of the wind through the cavern, and what sounded like your name. Having nothing left to lose, you trudged towards the light, hoping to reach the end quickly and before the sun set.

You weren’t so lucky, finding yourself exiting the cave just as the rich reds and pinks in the sky gave over to the purple indigo of night. “Oh, kriff.”

“The days are definitely shorter here than on Coruscant,” a sharp voice cut through the stillness.

“Master Kenobi?” you called out. 

“Here, darling,” he said as he slid down a slight bend to land in front of you. “You know, everyone’s worried about you.”

“I didn’t mean to make people worry,” you blushed, “I took a tumble and ended up in this cave.”

“I told them that, but they didn’t seem to believe me, or your tracks for that matter,” he said as he fished out a blanket to wrap around you. “Well, it’s too late to go back like this. The temperature will drop soon. We might as well stay here for the night.”

Here? The two of you alone in a cave? Your mind was reeling. You had had a crush on the Jedi Master ever since you were both padawans, but thankfully your missions kept you apart, which helped keep your feelings at bay. However, having to be so close to him like this, especially after he had come to rescue you, was reigniting that spark that you had thought was gone, but had in fact only been dormant for so long.

The two of you went back into your cave and he reached into his pack for his emergency fire kit, building a small fire that was kept at bay by a ring of stones around the small crackling source of heat.

“So, what made you sign up for the retreat?” he asked as he dug around for some rations in his pack.

“I thought it might be a relaxing break from being shot at,” you replied as you took one from him, cracking the ration over the heat.

Obi-Wan chuckled, “Relaxation. There’s something I haven’t done in a while.”

“Anakin seems intent on making it hard for you to do that,” you teased.

“He’s got a good heart,” he replied. “And some of his ideas are brilliant. Just don’t tell him I said as much.”

You giggled, “Your secret is safe with me.”

“If I remember correctly, they always have been,” he said with a small smile.

“Oh?” you asked, feeling your mouth suddenly go dry.

“I know attachments are frowned upon, but I will admit that I always miss your smile when you’re away,” he winked. “It’s infectious.”

“Careful, Master Kenobi, your Jedi charm tricks won’t work on me,” you said, playfully nudging him, but you were blushing.

“Oh they won’t? I remember it being different when we were younger. You were always blushing at everything I said and blaming my accent if my recollection is correct,” he looked into the fire before turning to you for a moment. Softly he asked, “What happened to our friendship?”

“You lost your Master and then we were thrust onto different paths,” you replied, slipping your hand along the rocky bottom of the cave to tentatively touch his hand. When he didn’t pull away, you interlocked your fingers with his. “I always believed ours was a friendship that could pick up from wherever we left off.”

A slight tint settled above his beard, but you wondered if perhaps it was a trick of the light reflecting off the cave walls. “Oh, is that so?”

“I know Master Yoda says that we are all luminous beings, but whatever our souls are made of, yours and mine are the same,” you replied, looking into the fire, “A connection like that runs deep enough to withstand the test of time, wouldn’t you agree?”

Obi-Wan looked at you, really looked at you, and for a moment he was just a man. He wasn’t a Jedi, and neither were you. You were just two souls bound together by so many commonalities that one might not know where he ended and you began. The way the light glinted off your face casted you in an ethereal glow. Luminous being, indeed, he thought as he took you in. Although your words were true, he would never have had the courage to admit them on his own. Instead, he just gave your hand a squeeze.

“We should rest. You sleep first while I take the first watch,” he said, letting go of your hand to wrap his arm around you. 

A slight sigh breezed through your lips, but you let it go, as you had always been trained to do. The physical touch would be enough to reaffirm that perhaps he saw you in the same light as you saw him. Resting your head on his shoulder, you closed your eyes to get comfortable. Soon enough, you found yourself drifting off into a meditative state, not quite ready to commit to actual sleep at this point.

Obi-Wan let out a sigh as he looked out of the mouth of the cave. Every time that he thought he was over his attachments, something would happen to reassure him that perhaps he wasn’t the perfect Jedi that everyone thought him to be. He had mastery over his emotions, but that didn’t mean he was devoid of them. It wasn’t something that he could just lock in a box and forget about. It was a constant battle every day with a beast that would remain conquered for only so long. It was a battle of wills, waiting for him to fatigue and slip up. In truth, sometimes he wanted to slip. He wanted to give in and take the easy way out every once in a while. He wanted to feel everything; to give into temptation on occasion. To love and be loved in a way that consumed, just to feel. But, a part of him feared being burned. Feared making a mistake he couldn’t take back. To give himself to someone so completely would mean that the loss of that person could be enough to ruin him. 

To love anything at all is to be vulnerable. That kind of vulnerability was something a Jedi couldn’t afford, so he put up walls. Walls that even Anakin couldn’t break through, and yet you always had a way of slipping through the cracks. It was almost as if letting those walls down would be acceptable if it were only to let you in.

The sky outside was getting lighter, but it wasn’t sunrise. A smile curled the corners of his lips as he gently shook you awake.

“Darling,” he murmured as you groaned, “Darling, look.”

You blinked your eyes open, trying to focus on your hazy surroundings as your vision swam. “What am I looking at?”

Gently he reached out to tip your chin up towards the sky and you understood.

Wavy lines of color streaked across the sky, lighting up the night. “You know, the ancient texts referred to auroras as being the spirits of a planet dancing in the night.”

“Qui-Gon always said they were the physical representation of a planet’s aura,” he said thoughtfully as he took in your awed expression.

“Regardless, they’re beautiful,” you murmured, “Definitely not a view you can see on Coruscant.”

“Mmm, they are beautiful,” he said as his eyes softened on your face. “I wish I could see it more often.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed him staring at you, sweeping his eyes along your features as if he were trying to memorize you.

“Afraid you’ll forget me?” you asked as you turned towards him.

“I doubt I could ever manage that,” he replied with a small smile.

“Am I forever burned into your memories?” you asked playfully with a bright smile.

His heart skipped a beat as he reached out to brush a strand of hair out of your face, gently sliding the pad of his forefinger along the outline of your face as he did so. Your smile slowly slid off your face as you took in the intent nature of his gaze. His eyes flicked down to your lips before slowly making their way back up to yours. The seas of his eyes were tumultuous, like a churning sea as you stand on a cliff in a storm.

Obi-Wan licked his bottom lip as you reached out to gently cup his cheek. You dragged your thumb through the soft bristles of his beard, feeling your breath catch at how he leaned into your touch. You let your hand slide along his jaw towards his chin as your thumb dragged along his bottom lip, gliding from the dampness left by his tongue. Your eyes settled on his lips, entranced, before lazily looking up at him with a hooded gaze.

The fire was slowly dying in front of you, casting you both in the shadows of the embers. A log on the fire shifted, sending up sparks that playfully danced in his eyes. You swallowed a lump in your throat as you both stood on the edge of this precipice, toeing the crumbling limits, afraid of what might happen should you fall. 

A flutter in your chest caused you to take that step, falling over the edge and dragging him with you. You pulled him in for a kiss, relishing in the way his supple lips pressed firmly into yours. 

His beard tickled your face as his hand slid to cup the nape of your neck. His velvety tongue slipped over your bottom lip, the first demand you imagine he’s ever given, and one you were very happy to acquiesce to. His tongue danced with yours, a tango to a music only the two of you could hear.

He explored you like you were uncharted territory, but in truth, he was also exploring himself. Testing his limits. Determining how far he was wiling to go. It was a journey you would go on with him, but you let him take the lead out of respect. 

You broke from the kiss and rested your foreheads against one another as you panted slightly for air. “Good night, Master Kenobi. I’ll take this next watch.”

“Good night, darling,” he grinned, his chest still heaving slightly from the exertion as he rested his head in your lap.

You let your head fall back as you let out a silent laugh at what just happened. Biting your lip, you shook your head before turning your attention back to him. Gently, you ran your hand through his hair, stroking through the auburn locks as you took in his sweet face of content. Part of you wondered if that was the first time he did something he wanted to, regardless of the consequences, in years. You draped your arm over his chest as you let yourself picture a normal future for the two of you. It was a daydream you hadn’t had in a long time, but one that you took out of its box every once in a while, if only to shake off the cobwebs. 

If you weren’t Jedi, you’d be married. You’d live on a peaceful planet full of serene moments where you could feel the force at work in the galaxy. Maybe you’d have a farm, or maybe you would just live in town. Perhaps you’d befriend the neighbors. Perhaps you’d be in a remote area with no one around for as far as the eye could see. Obi-Wan would tend to the animals, and you would help him build the life he could have had if he wasn’t a Jedi. Perhaps you’d have children running around, a perfect mix of the two of you, or adopted to give them a better life in a loving home. No matter the scenario or the variables, the common denominator was that you’d be happy together.

You watched with passive interest as the sky changed from an inky indigo to the same shades as your dying fire until the sun had risen in the sky again. Gently, you nudged Obi-Wan awake.

“Obi, it’s time to go home,” you murmured.

He stretched languidly before collecting his belongings. You did the same before heading out of the cave and into the bright morning light. 

“We can follow my tracks to get back to camp,” he said as he held his hand out to you. “Shall we?”

With a smile, you placed your hand in his and together you traversed the snowy hills until you were back to camp. You caught sight of the others breaking down camp.

Anakin was the first to spot you, eyes falling on your conjoined hands. You quickly dropped Obi-Wan’s hand when you noticed where the Jedi Knight was staring.

“Bout time you two showed up. We had to do all the work breaking down camp without you,” Anakin teased. “It’s not very Jedi-like to shirk your duties.”

“I’ll remember that, Anakin,” Obi-Wan said with a wag of his finger.

“We’re glad the two of you are safe,” Ahsoka said, slinging her bag over her shoulder.

“Yeah, would’ve hated leaving you here,” Anakin grinned.

Mace gave Anakin a withering look, “No one is getting left behind.” You could have sworn you heard him mumble ‘unfortunately,’ before he turned to Obi-Wan to add, “The next time you decide to wander off, take Skywalker with you.”

Obi-Wan shot Anakin a look that said, ‘what did you do?’

Anakin just shrugged, placing his hands up in a placating manner.

“Load up, everyone. It’s time to go home. I hope this trip was as enlightening as you all thought it would be,” Mace said before heading towards the ship.

You shared a smile with Obi-Wan Kenobi at Master Windu’s words before adjusting your pack on your shoulder and following the others onto the ship.

Enlightening, indeed.

[queenxxxsupreme]

Can you please write a soft/fluffy one-shot where the reader is feeling unwell, so Jaskier takes care of her by drawing her a bath, and washing her hair. Lots of CUTE moments, such as Jaskier catching the reader wearing his shirt, and the reader confessing the reason why she is unwell is because she is pregnant. Thanks so much!

Warnings: mentions of pregnancy, bathtime, nudity but nothing sexual, implications of an eating disorder but really it’s just Jaskier jumping to conclusions

***

A large hand found the small of your back. The hand, familiar and warm, pressed flat against you, calloused fingertips gently pressing into your skin. 

“Are you sleeping, my dear?” Jaskier’s voice came from behind you.

“No.” You sighed gently. You opened your eyes and rubbed the sleep from them. You rolled over on to your back so you could see him. 

“How are you feeling?” His hand found your stomach. You tensed beneath his touch, your hands automatically coming up to cover his. He furrowed his brows together, looking down at your stomach. “Are you hurting?” He tried to pull his hands away but you wouldn’t let him. 

“I-I don’t feel good.” You couldn’t meet his eyes, your gaze finding his hand on your stomach. 

“What hurts?”

“My head.” 

“Then why did you grab my hand?” Jaskier tilted his head to the side a little. Blue eyes carefully watched you, concerned and worried. 

“Your hands are cold.” You explained, nearly patting yourself on the back for coming up with an excuse so quickly. 

A sheepish smile came to his lips and he leaned down to kiss your forehead. 

“Sorry, darling.” 

“S’okay.”

“Perhaps you should have a bath?” Jaskier suggested, raising his brows a little. 

“I don’t know, Jask.”

“Nonsense.” He waved a hand in the air as he got off of the bed. “I’ll go start one.”

You weren’t able to get a word in before he disappeared out of the room. You sighed gently, rubbing your stomach. 

You knew very well that there wasn’t any getting out of the bath. Maybe this was as good a time as any to tell him that in eight or nine months he’d be a father. 

A little while later, Jaskier returned to the room. You were staring at the ceiling, your hand absentmindedly drawing circles on your stomach. 

“Are you ready, darling?” Jaskier asked, rolling his sleeves up to his elbows. 

“I’m tired, Jask.”

“I know, my love.” He moved to your bedside. He began to pull back the blankets from your legs. “But once you get a bath, you need to eat something. You haven’t eaten all morning.”

“M’just gonna throw it up.” 

“Okay well we can worry about that when that time comes.” Jaskier took hold of your ankles and pulled you around so your legs were hanging off the edge of the bed. 

You whined but did little to stop him as he unlaced the sleeping trousers you wore. He tugged them off and then patted the outside of your thigh. 

“Come on, love. You can’t expect me to do this all by myself.”

You groaned as you sat up, putting a frown on your lips. Jaskier grabbed the hem of your top and pulled it off of you. 

Then he scooped you up in his arms and took you to the bathroom. 

“How long have you been feeling badly?” He asked, looking down at you. 

“Since I woke up.” You admitted. 

He pressed a kiss to your forehead. 

He placed you down feet first into the tub and then once you relaxed against the warm stones, he knelt down by the tub. 

“Let’s wash your hair.” He suggested. 

You crossed your arms over your stomach, wanting to hide as much of the bump as you could. You knew you’d been gaining weight. Your more form fitting dresses didn’t fit properly and not many of your pants wanted to go up over your waist. 

Jaskier noticed the way you seemed to hug yourself. 

“Are you cold?” He asked, pouring a cup full of water carefully over your head. 

“No.” You answered. “Why?”

“Just wanted to make sure you’re okay.” 

He began to hum softly to you as he washed your hair and then while he moved into the other room to gather your clothes, you washed your body. 

When Jaskier returned, he held out a towel for you. You started to stand but, but then at the last minute you remembered about the baby. 

“Jaskier? Can I…. Can I get dressed alone?” You asked, your voice timid. 

He seemed a little taken back by your words, confused. 

“Of course.” He nodded, setting the towel on the stool next to the tub. “I’ll, um, I’ll go make you some tea. How does that sound?”

“Lovely.” You smiled. “Thank you.” 

He returned the smile and moved to the edge of the tub. One hand cradled the back of your head while he leaned down to kiss your temple. 

“I love you, you know that don’t you?”

“Of course I do.” You nodded. “And I love you.” 

You watched him leave the room, pulling the door shut behind him. 

You let out a little breath, then stood up. You dried yourself off and then looked at the clothes head gotten for you. You frowned. It was a skirt and a top. They were comfortable to wear but you didn’t want to wear that. 

You wrapped the towel tightly around yourself and went to the bedroom. You got into Jaskier’s wardrobe, rummaging through the many bright and colorful pieces he had until you found a blue tunic top. 

You slipped the top on and abandoned the towel on the floor. You’d get it later. For now, your head and your stomach were begging you to lay down. 

You got comfy in the bed, laying on your side with a pillow under your head. You closed your eyes for what felt like just a few seconds. The next thing you knew, Jaskier was kneeling down beside the bed, his fingers brushing through your hair. 

“You must really be tired, darling. Maybe I should send for a healer?”

“No, that’s not necessary.” You shook your head, reaching out to run your fingers through his dark hair. 

“It looks like you stole one of my shirts.” He commented, messing with the hem of the shirt you wore. You smiled sheepishly. 

“I like how it smells like you. And it’s warm.”

“I can keep you warm.” He carefully climbed over you to get into bed. He wrapped his arms securely around you, his hands resting on your stomach. 

You were comfortable, except for the fact that he was holding your stomach. What if he could feel the bump? What if the baby kicked? Was it too early for the baby to kick?

You took his wrist and moved his hand off of your stomach so that instead it rested on your hip. The other hand you moved a little further down to your hip. But you said nothing. You weren’t ready to tell him. You wanted to do something special to tell him that he’d be a father. 

“Was that uncomfortable for you, darling?” He asked, curious. He wanted to know for future reference.

“I-I just…. I didn’t like that too much.” You admitted, your voice quiet. 

His breath was soft against your ear, his lips just inches from it. 

“My love, I don’t mind your size.” 

Your eyes widened and you turned your head to look at him.

“What?”

“Isn’t that what this is about?” He furrowed his brows together. 

You sat up and turned to face him. 

“What the hell are you talking about, Jaskier?”

“I’ve seen the way you’ve been lately.” Jaskier propped himself up on one elbow. “So what you’ve gained a couple pounds? I happen to think you look absolutely stunning.”

You couldn’t find words to properly explain how confused you were. But he could see it on your face. He ran a hand over his face and shook his head. 

“You rarely let me see you naked anymore. You cover your stomach whenever I do see you naked. You know that your size doesn’t matter to me, Y/N.”

“Jaskier, that’s-that’s not it.” You shook your head.

“Is that why you aren’t eating today?” His tone softened and heartbreak crossed his features. “My love, please tell me you aren’t-,”

“No! No, Jaskier! That’s not it.” You quickly cut him off, not wanting to let his mind wander and his panic rise. 

“Then what is it?” He furrowed his brows together. 

You didn’t answer immediately, instead choosing to let your gaze linger on his lips. 

“I’m pregnant.” You murmured quietly. “And-And everything I eat lately has been making me sick.”

His breath caught in his throat. 

“You’re…. pregnant?” He repeated, his voice soft. 

You nodded, tears welling in your eyes. Before you even had a chance to do anything, he was pulling you into his lap. He tucked your head beneath his chin and let out a shaky breath.

“Oh gods.” He breathed out, a little laughing coming with the noise. “I’m- Y/N, I’m going to be a father! Oh, my love, my heart. You had me worried there for a moment. Oh, sweetheart. Don’t cry!”

“I can’t help it.” You sniffled, turning to bury your face in his neck. “I-I’m scared, Jask.”

“Oh fuck. Me too. But we’re going to be parents! You need to eat! You haven’t eaten all day! The baby must be starving!”

“Jask, I’m going to throw it up.” You whined as he pulled away and started to get out of bed. 

“Darling, I know it isn’t fun but you need to eat something. At least try. The baby needs food, and so do you.”

You looked down at where he held your hand. Your thumb brushed over the wedding band on his finger. 

“I’m really fucking scared, Jaskier.” You cried, your face scrunching up as the tears escaped your eyes. 

“You aren’t alone, my love.” He engulfed you in a warm hug, offering you comfort in the warmth of his chest. “But we’re going to go through this together. I’ll be with you every step of the way. I promise.”

“Thank you, Jask.” You sniffled.

Taglist: @pressedinthepages @mishafaye @whitewolfandthefox @wolfyland07 @belalugosisdead @persephonehemingway @keira-hulmaster @dinonuggs69 @greatestauthorofmygeneration @shadow-hunters-lover @dancingwith-thesunflowers @tedi-fach-las @thecomfortofoldstorries @raspberrydreamclouds @natkowaa @disasteren @weathervanes-my-oneandlonely @onlyhenrys @wackylurker @criminaly-supernatural @magpie343 @permanently-exhausted-witcher @hina-chans-stuff @the-space-between-heartbeats @havenoffandoms @carriebee1 @ger-bearofrivia @naominami @writingawaymylife @reaganjenelle @theawkwardpedestrian @scarlettwitcher @badassspaceprincess @just-a-sad-donut @summersong69 @an–actual–human–disaster @rubyqueen819 @omgkatinka @c-a-v-a-l-r-y @vonxcon @mazakeen @bravelittlesunflower @thereagles @awkward-turtles-world @menalliha @cotton_mo @maan24

[violetnotez]

hello!! i came here to ask if i could request a fluffy deku x reader? basically, deku is having a conversation with todoroki and the reader is just sleeping on demi’s lap while deku is stroking her hair like a cat? thank you!!

Omg I’m so sorry this took so long to write!! nevertheless I hope you like this!

———————————————————

Touch Me With Your Heart

Midoriya x reader

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 1693

Warnings: None!

MASTERLIST

———————————————————

As hard as you tried, you couldn’t keep your eyes open.

It had been a tiring yet fun day with Dekusquad, all of you deciding to go shopping at the local stores near UA High.

You had had fun with all your friends, acting silly and, for once, like teens. The whole day you had been laughing, your hand permanently glued in Izuku’s as you shopped for new clothing and tried yummy sweets.

During the day, Uraraka has spotted a sign stating there would be a outdoor Movie night out in the large grassy area on the side of the shopping mall. She instantly showed the group the flyer, her big round eyes making it impossible to say No to her pleas to go. You had to admit, though: that it sounded like an adorable way to end the night with a movie under the stars.

Shoto, Izuku, and Iida also agreed, allowing you two to drag them to the lush green space as twilight began to fall.

Izuku’s hand was still in yours the whole way, his thumb rubbing against the side of your palm. You smiled, sneaking a glance at his complexion-he was so handsome, his green locks as unruly as ever from frequently trying on different clothes (something you had to forced him to do), his emerald eyes seeming to glow under the dimming sunlight.

He looked down, your smiling face making his cheeks blush. His freckles became starkly noticeable, a cheesy grin spreading across his face. Izuku honestly loved when you looked like him like that, like he was the only person you had on your mind.

“Everything alright sweetheart?” He asked, “Are you tired?”

You smiled lazily, feeling the dull ache on the palms of your feet. Even though you two had only been dating for a month or so, you and Izuku had known each other ever since the first day of UA. Izuku could read you like a book, and you the same for him-but you still tried to pretend you were fine.

“Nope!” You beamed, mustering some energy out of your body. “Never been better,”

You began to swing his arm in your own in a skip, trying to convince him quietly that you were fine. You knew Izuku too well- if you showed any type of discomfort or tiredness, he would insist on you two going back to the dorms and calling it a night. As much as you would love to snuggle up to Izuku right now and fall in sleep in his comfy embrace, you didn’t feel like ending the night just yet. You had had too much fun with all your friends today, and it just didn’t seem fitting to end it now.

He gave you a worried look, not truly believing your words. “You sure? Because if you feel tired we can always-“

“Nope!” You cut off his words, “I’m fine, I promise,”

He sighed, knowing full well you were too stubborn to reason with.

“Alright...but if you want to leave, just tell me and-“

“There it is!” You two heard Uraraka gasp, her finger pointing at a giant patch of grass a few paces away. A giant white tarp was displayed at the end of the field, people already milling around and finding seats to watch on the red checkered blankets that were laid out.

“In order for us to get a proper viewing, we should hurry-it seems like people are already taking spots,” Iida instructed, your head nodding in agreement.

“Then what are we waiting for? Let’s go!” You smiled. You broke out into a jog down the small hill, the group following suit.

———————

Even though that quick jog had woken you up slightly, the heaviness of fatigue had hit you once again. You all had found a spot to settle in quickly, only to realize that the movie was not starting for another hour.

Since it was her favorite movie they were about to play, Iida had taken Uraraka to buy some concessions to burn off some extra excitement. That left you, Izuku and Shoto to sit idly and wait.

You were too tired to stir up a conversation, instead deciding to just listen in on Shoto and Izuku’s conversation about hero agencies. To be honest, it wasn’t the most intriguing conversation, so you opted to people watch while you waited for the movie.

It was becoming extremely hard to keep your eyes open-you were laying your shoulder against Izuku’s, your hand in his. Your thumb was soothingly tracing the scars on his hand, something you've been doing ever since Izuku had felt comfortable enough to let you hold his hands.

Midoriya was surprisingly very self conscious of his scars-he knew he shouldn’t be, but it felt like it was a constant sign of his weakness. His body still wasn’t able to fully master One-For-All, a reminder he wasn’t quite ready to step into the legendary role All Might had given him.

But to you, you saw the scars as strength: he had come so far from being the scared little boy from his past. He was barely an adult and had been in more deadly situations than he could count on his hands, but No matter what circumstances he was in he was still optimistic and determined as ever, and that’s truly what made you love him so much.

Izuku grinned warmly, cherishing the soft caresses your fingers were leaving on his skin. It took him awhile for him to get used to your constant affection, but now he was accustomed to it and absolutely adored when you touched him like this.

The sun was beginning to set though, the warmth of Izuku’s body against your own making your breaths softer as the darkness lulled your eyes to close. You tried to fight the wave of sleep trying to overtake your body, your hand still laced in his as you decided to close your eyes for just a moment-

“Uh, Midoriya,” Shoto interrupted Izuku’s sentence about the top hero agencies in southern Japan, pointing at your slumped form.

Izuku gave him a quizzical look, wondering what the problem was until he saw what Todoroki was referring to. You had fell asleep on his shoulder, your head nuzzled into the crook of his neck.

His cheecks flared red, Izuku secretly happy no one could see his evident blush under the moonlight. He had assumed your cuddling into his shoulder was you just trying to get warm, not because you were exhausted. He chuckled slightly-you really were the most stubborn person he knew.

Izuku gently shifted his body, his hands guiding your sleeping head into his lap. He tried his hardest to not wake you up-but to his surprise, you stayed completely asleep, only shifting slightly to cuddle up comfortable into his lap.

He would be lying if he didn’t say the sight of you sighing as you snuggled sleepily into his leg wasn’t the cutest thing ever.

His heart swelled as he pushed a piece of fallen hair away from your face, beginning to then pet your head as he continued his conversation with Shoto.

More and more people had filled the park, many of the seats taken by families, friend groups, and couples. The movie was bound to start soon since night had fallen, people beginning to sit into their spots and get comfortable as they awaited for it to start, soft conversation filling the park.

Uraraka came bounding back, 2 bags of popcorn stuffed under each arm as Iida tried to balance soda cups and candy in each hand.

“Y/n, you’ll never guess what we found, they had popcorn that was flavored like-“ Uraraka began excitedly, until her eyes fell upon your sleeping form. Her eyes softened, a smile forming on her lips.

“Fell asleep, huh?” She asked Midoriya, putting down the popcorn to help Iida with the concessions.

“Yep! She was acting pretty tired when we were walking over here…” Izuku smiled down at your sleeping form, continuing to pet your head to keep you asleep.

“Would you like to take her back to the dorms? I’m more than willing to give you both a ride back,” Iida offered, but Izuku kindly dismissed it.

“Oh thank you Iida! But, I think it’s best we stay-I have a feeling she wouldn’t be too happy if I missed the movie because of her.” He grinned, already knowing that was exactly you’d say if he did actually take you home.

“Very well then-just tell me if you change your mind,” Iida nodded, turning to Uraraka as she politely shushed them as the movie began to start.

————————

Halfway during the movie, your head rolled up, your eyes heavily lidded and your hair slightly disheveled.

“Y/n!” Izuku gasped quickly, bringing his calloused palm to your cheek.

“Go back to sleep sweetie, it’s okay, you’re tired-“

“Wait-did I fall asleep?”

Izuku grinned, rubbing his neck as a blush began to form again. “Yes, you fell asleep by accident on my shoulder, so I put your head in my lap-“

You smiled, the sweet gestures of your boyfriend making your heart swell.

You then tried to look to the side to see the screen, hoping to maybe stay awake if you got invested in the movie. Just as you tried to look, a sharp pain blossomed on the side of your neck, a grunt of pain slipping out of your lips.

“You okay?” Izuku whispered, his eyes wide with concern.

You sighed, groggily rubbing the place where it hurt. “Yeah, just-kink in my neck I guess…”

“Oh…” Izuku breathed out, his hands on his chin as he tried to think of a quick solution.

“Do you want to lie down instead?” He asked quietly, his voice low and sweet.

You nodded your head quickly, wanting nothing more than to cuddle with Izuku. You still didn’t want to go back home-the night was just too peaceful, the midnight sky clear as a comfortable breeze softy blew.

You wrapped your hands around Midoriya's neck instantly, feeling a chuckle rumble in his chest. One arm wrapped around your waist as the other gently guided your bodies to the ground.

You laid there for a second, listening to his strong heart beat as his chest fell rhythmically. He was so safe and so warm-

“I love you ‘Zuku.” You whispered sleepily, cuddling into his warmth as sleep began to wash over you.

Izuku blushed harder than he had before, his hand petting your head as his chest swelled.

“I-I love you too y/n.”

———————————————————

[lollybliz]

bout to make a Monster of a fic rec post here we go

heyo @jinx108! We’ll start with the complete ones because sometimes you’re just not in the mood to wait for the last chapter, you know? I don't remember details of all of these so i’m just going to copy the author’s summary rather than write my own. I am literally just going through my bookmarks, I got 400 of these to sort through. if ive talked to or am familiar with the author im gonna mention them, but if I mention you and you don't want me to have Please tell me and i’ll remove it.

If you’re not into spoilers Please Tread Carefully, I don't watch out for that stuff so I wont know to label it

1>Crushing Truth by Bunzuku: Tododeku. “Romance is hard enough for a teenager to understand when they have a good relationship role model. For Shoto, it takes two excited meddlers for him to even realize what his feelings really are.“

2>Disowned by b00mgh: tododeku + others. Unrated, some traumatic elements. “Shouto freaks out under a bridge and I use the word "grass" a lot more than I really should. Izuku does his stupid martyr thing and everyone makes continuous references to his propensity to break his bones. Aizawa goes "oh FUCK my kids are dying again" and his students use him as emotional (and physical) support. A friend requests angst, I say what kind, she say idk make someone get disowned and i say oh this I can absolutely provide my good buddy.”

3>cotton candy hands by @chonideno: Kiribaku. I will take Any excuse to rec this fic, its the most fluffy pile of feels Good Lord. also the first fic I ever bound into a physical book. “Studying to become a hero requires knowing how to take care of yourself. Sometimes you might need help on the way so if your crush offers to do your hair for you or to give you a well-deserved back rub, it'd be stupid to say no. A series of soft vignettes in which a love-struck Kirishima and a touch-starved Bakugou care for each other and it's definitely not making their hearts jump through hoops, they’re never this close to kissing, no, they're totally best friends bro“

4>Catching Sight of the Storm by neo7v: Kiribaku, tododeku. A considerable amount of Whump and related angst, and kinda sad tbh. “Blind. Quirkless. Useless.The first two things were stated clearly by the doctor that sat about five feet in front of Izuku. The third was a word that Kacchan called him everytime he failed to make the jump on whatever forest excursion they were on or when he ran into a tree because he hadn’t seen it. “I’m so, so sorry, Izuku.” Was his mom giving up on him already? But he could still be a hero if he tried hard enough, right? Quirkless or not. Blind or not. Just because Izuku was useless now didn’t mean he would stay that way forever, right? *** A Blind!Izuku AU”

5>Yell Heah by fakecharliebrown: Chatfic. M a n y pairings. technically complete, but part of an ongoing series. “Iida creates a group-chat for Class 1-A. It doesn't go as planned.“

6>Sunshine by Rosey_Note: BIG SAD. tw- failed suicide attempt. KiriKamiBaku. “They didn't deserve to put up with his crappy mood. Because Denki Kaminari did not feel like Sunshine right now. And they deserved sunshine. In fact, Denki didn't feel much of anything right now.“

7>Electric Connection by  Onlymostydead: ShinKami. “Kaminari's quirk has always had... Weird side affects. Like his ADHD. And his constant energy. And his insomnia, which wouldn't leave him be right now, when he really needed to just get some sleep. But, thankfully, he has good friends.“

8>The Best (The Worst) by Onlymostydead: no romantic pairing. tw- rampant transphobia, both outside and internalized. “Bakugou Katsuki has known who he was since he was four years old. He was a boy, it was as simple as that. Around his friends, at school... But things couldn't just be that simple, could they?“

9>Lichtenberg Figures by Q_loves_you: no definite romantic pairing. “Kaminari Denki has a very powerful force of nature running through his body. Kaminari Denki doesn't want to hurt anybody. He doesn't always get what he wants, and "anybody" does generally include himself.“

10>Eventuality by KikaTouka: ill be honest I don't remember this one at all, I maaaay not have read it yet :/. anyway. ShinKami. “Shinsou learns more than just hero lessons after being transferred to 1-A.“

11>Pickup Lines for the Soul by MustardSoup: ShinKami. “Denki is twelve when he is flicking through the TV channels and lands on an old RomCom movie about soulmate marks – specifically the same type that he has. “I can’t believe I’ve had to walk around with a cheap pickup line written on my ankle my entire life because of you!” The leading lady yells at the leading man as he stares at her in awe. Denki laughs. “Oh no.” His mother says, watching him. “Oh no, indeed.” His sister repeats quietly.“

12>caught in my own web by @anxioussailorsoldier: ShinKami. “Shinsou needs some help after getting caught up in his capture weapon. Kaminari enters from stage left.“

13>not so summer love by nataliya: ShinKami. “Class 2-B’s common room, although typically quiet, was currently filled with five students—three slowly giving up on homework, one bitching about noise and another that rushes through the front door. “We’ve been waiting for you—” Mina starts, but Kaminari’s vaulting over the back of the couch, eyes wide as he practically buzzes out of his skin, emitting light like crazy as currents dazzle across strands of hair. “I have a big ugly crush,” He steps off the couch and onto the coffee table, much to Bakugou’s chagrin, “On big ugly Shinsou.””

14>Blamed by coldandhotsoba: ShinKami. Tw- they fuckin kill a guy and its a lil nasty. “This was not how the day was supposed to end. They were supposed to end the day like they do most nights.  Kaminari clutching onto him like a koala as he slept, wrapped in the millions of tacky blankets Kaminari had bought. Warm and safe in their bed. It was not supposed to end with both of them tied up in some cold metal room.“

15>Lightning Scars by Present-Mics-Scream (write_your_way_out): Shinkami. “It's hard to be confident in your abilities when you're surrounded by people with incredible quirks. Shinsou Hitoshi would know better than anyone. Sure, he was admitted to the hero course in his second year, but being admitted to the hero course, and keeping up with the rest of the class are two different things. Lucky for him, Kaminari is there to prove that the flashiest quirks come with the largest drawbacks.“

16>See No Evil, Hear No Evil by randomfan188: no romantic pairing. “Kaminari Denki is legally blind. When he forgets to wear his contacts and breaks down during math class, comfort appears in the strangest of ways.“

17>how not to enjoy the weather, an article by kaminari denki by dreamtowns: no defined romantic pairing. “If there was one thing Kaminari hated the most in a world wth villains, it would have to be thunderstorms.“

18>”Studying” by emmyrox22: ShinKami, EraserMic. “Shinsou and Kaminari have been “studying” together for a while (but not for school). Shinsou gets stopped by his dads on the way to another “study” session and mistakes are made“

19>Weaknesses by sunflowerstorm: ShinKami. “Kaminari's quirk and storms compliment each other in the worst way, but he's convinced he can deal with it on his own... until he really can't any longer. When Shinsou accidentally overhears Aizawa confronting Kaminari about recent changes in behaviour and hears about the hell his quirks been putting him through, he can't just pretend he never heard. He wants to help.“

20>it’s hurt denki hours by memeingfultrash: ShinKami + others. ““Certain members of our class are...under the impression that...you’re the traitor.” Denki’s body went cold and felt like he was going to short circuit. ~some of class 1a believes that denki is the traitor and avoid him”

21>Petition to replace Mineta with Shinsou- (signed by Kaminari Denki) by CharaTheQuartz: ShinKami + others. This is one of my favorites, I go back to reread it from time to time. It SAYS 41/42, but that's just a glitch cus chapter 36 doesn't exist for some reason, I talked to the author about it and its fine. “Mineta brings shame to the color purple. You know who does not bring shame to the rich color, but pride and sexual tension to one infatuated Kaminari Denki instead? Shinsou Hitoshi, aka sexy zombie man, aka the most perfect hunk of a man to walk planet earth, aka future husband. Shinsou has finally gotten his chance to prove himself to the hero course, and he did more than prove himself. The only question left unanswered is whether he will start in A or B, and how Kaminari can manipulate the end result.“

22>How to Get a Boyfriend (in Four Easy Steps!) by e1ana: ShinKami, EraserMic, + others. “Step 1: Get kicked out of the house by your homophobic parents. Step 2: Run headfirst into your brooding, mysterious crush. Step 3: Sleep in his dad’s (see: your homeroom teacher) house Step 4: Watch everything you thought you knew go to shit. This isn’t exactly the sweet, romantic plan that Kaminari Denki longed for. Will everything be ok, or will step 5 be to crash and burn?“

23>Bakugou and Todoroki’s Foolproof 5-Step Plan to Fuck with Mineta Minoru by Anubis_2701: Kiribaku, TodoDeku, + others. This is another one of my favorites, and the one I am currently folding and sewing into a physical book. you learn how to do funny things when bored and quarantined ig. “It was a simple enough idea; screw around with the resident bastard of Class 1-A to let him know that his medieval ways and perverted behaviour weren't going to be tolerated by even the most career-focused of UA's students. To say that things had snowballed was an understatement. Todoroki had no idea how he had ended up sitting on Bakugou's floor at 1 am, holding a dossier of incriminating material that would make the FBI slobber, but he wasn't sure he wanted to know. The long and short of it was, fuck Mineta.”

24>Colour Theory by chancellorxofxtrash: TodoBakuDeku. this one’s a series. “Midoriya/Bakugo/Todoroki slow burn soulmate AU. All three of them are nerds with their own emotional issues, trying to navigate their way through becoming heroes, and their own relationship with each other.“

25>Summer Sunshine by Mara97: TodoDeku. Ever want a Barbie in a mermaid tale/Bnha crossover? No? well here you go anyway! “Instead of worrying about college, Izuku spends his summer vacation finding out his father is, supposedly, a dead merman king and going on a quest to dethrone the current king, Endeavor. Along the way, Izuku becomes close to the three journeying with him, makes friends with strangers, starts crushing on an unattainable prince, and, in the end, learns to love himself. Oh, and he saves a kingdom, too.“

26>The snowflakes on our skin and the flames in our soul are one (and the same), my love by missunderstuffyou: TodoDeku, Kiribaku. this is one of the ones I keep a running reread comment going on. its at,,, 6, atm.  “Before your quirk begins to present itself, the soulmate link comes through, and suddenly whatever you write upon your own skin appears on the body of your soulmate. As your soulmate writes to you, the emotions they feel follow through the ink.Izuku Midoriya is four years and a few months old when he first feels the slight ebbing in his arms. It doesn’t hurt… he can just feel something, and it’s enough to make him sprint into his mother’s arms screaming that his quirk is coming. She had been washing in the kitchen, and the sudden screech as her son rockets into her side is enough to make her jump with panic, immediately grabbing at him and looking for cuts and bumps before she understands his words and the stupidly bright, alight smile on his face with large, watery, hopeful eyes. Shoto Todoroki doesn’t feel his soulmate connection open up. It is drowned in the aches of a small body worked far too hard.“

27>It was dark inside the closet by Chad_Champion69420: Pre-ShinDeku? maybe? its tagged shindeku but like. it’ll make sense if you read it. “Midoriya is invited to a party. He and Shinsou decide to play a little trick on the rest of the party during Seven Minutes in Heaven.”

28>how to woo your local trash gremlin: a comprehensive guide by Todoroki shouto by wonhaebunny: TodoBaku. this is the fic that dragged me into todobaku, fun fact. “five times shouto tries to confess to bakugou, and one time he doesn't bother tryingaka: wikihow is a scam and bakugou is a terrible, terrible boy“

29>top ten photos taken right before disaster by Shookspeare: ShinDeku. “Izuku participates in a harmless prank, only to end up ruining it and running for dear life.“

30>Secrets to Share by pechebaie: no definite romantic pairing. “Kirishima comes out first, and nothing changes. Kirishima and Kaminari still hang out to complain about class and talk about boys - and sometimes girls, too, in Kaminari’s case; he still plans stupid pranks with Sero that get them sent to the principal’s or nurse’s office every time; Ashido still kicks his ass at Mario Kart without hesitation; and Bakugou doesn’t get angry at him any more than he usually does.“

31>What One Hides by Pinalinet: TodoDeku. “All Might gives class 1-A an unusual assignment that results in Midoriya Izuku and Todoroki Shouto attending a weekly acting class. But with a mysterious villain targeting individuals without Quirks, and a developing issue of Todoroki's own, an after-school assignment is the least of their worries.“

32>whether or not we’re fated, we’re meant to be by juurensha: KINDA SPOILERY. TodoDeku + others. “Todoroki didn’t have a soulmark for most of his life.His siblings all did, but up until the day of the U.A. entrance exam, he had shoved the idea aside. It’s not like they could help him anyway. And then a 9 appears on his chest, and a green-haired boy barrels into his life with a fire and ice soulmark on his arms, and suddenly Todoroki cares very much about all this could mean.”

33>The Midnight Shift by meiishu @meiishu @totallytodoroki (idk which you’d rather I attach so I went with both): ShinKami. ““Hey Toshi,” Denki says, and he laughs, clearly embarrassed. He’s got on a jean jacket that did him absolutely no help and a white tee shirt that is currently stuck to his torso. It’s got a pikachu design in the center. “By any chance, do you sell umbrellas?” “You really went out in this weather.” Hitoshi deadpans, instead of dignifying that with an answer. or hitoshi works the midnight shift at the gas station, which also doubles as a pokestop for pokemon go. of course, denki is a regular.”

34>Rock the House by AkabaneKayo: ShinKami. “It wasn’t just his bed. It was his entire fucking room shaking. Only one thought crossed his mind at that moment: “Holy shit. My room is haunted.”“

35>Technically, they’re morning kisses by CharaTheQuartz: ShinKami. “Most nights, Shinsou cannot fall sleep. Neither can Kaminari. It seems counterproductive to have a sleepover then, but they try to make it work. And they fail, but that is okay.“

36>someone to call mine by nearly_theyre: ShinKami, EraserMic “From: Me wish you were here, denks From: kitten 💛💘💛 what if i was tho? OR Four times Denki snuck into Hitoshi's room and one time he walked through the front door.“

37>Pretty by Onlymostydead (noticing some repeat authors? me too): no definite romantic pairing. “(Or, Kaminari still can't figure out bra clasps.) Kaminari has never really felt good about himself. Herself? Whichever way, not knowing doesn't make anything easier. Especially when he (she?) and Mina have their bodies swapped during training, and everything seems too right.“

38>If I offer you my hand, will you take it? by bleukitsune: Kiribaku. SPOILERY. ““Why?” Kirishima leaned back on his hands, trying to create some space between them. Too close. The ash-blond looked really nervous, his usually arrogant and cunning demeanor gone. “What do you see when you look at me? Kirishima is worried. Bakugou is hurting. After his confrontation with Midoriya, he finally reaches out to him. “

Theres way more but I haven't tagged them properly yet so that m a y come later if I can ever finish going through and adding my sorting tags.

and then a last few that Are Not Complete but im really very fond of them. not as many as id like to add, but my hands are getting tired tbh.

39>State of Mind by GuardianOfTheLoaf: no relationship YET but its looking like it’ll be either tododeku or shindeku, probably the former. EraserMic. tw- childhood neglect and severe depression. Izuku’s not a happy kid. “Izuku was a late bloomer, his quirk lying dormant until his tenth birthday when in a fit of emotion he grabs his mother and she disappears. With All Might slowly restoring his confidence Izuku begins the difficult journey into becoming a hero.“ 18/? chapters.

40>Izuku Eats His Problems by CosmicAce: ShinDeku. Izuku’s a flerkin, what more could you want? “His whole life, Izuku Midoriya was taught to keep his powers, his Quirk, hidden from the world. His kind were feared, hunted to near extinction because of it. He just wants to show people he’s different. That he can be a HERO. And nothing is going to stop him. Even if his Quirk IS like an eldritch abomination.“ 43/? chapters

and then probably my current favorite bnha fic- although it fights with Apertum Mortem for that spot but that ones d a r k and not here-

41>family of the year by periiwren: EraserMic. “Hitoshi is done. Done with moving around every few months to a couple that will scrutinize him and eventually dump him right back where he started. Good thing he’s well past his strike limit now- at least he can stay in one place, be content to age out of the system and finish out his training with Aizawa. Maybe transfer into the hero course, maybe be a hero- but none of that was guaranteed. The only thing for sure was that he was going to stay in that center for the rest of his childhood. Or so he thought- because Aizawa Shouta and Yamada Hizashi have other plans.“ 24/? chapters. we’ve been informed that this one’s gonne be l o n g and im Very Grateful.

42>Here There Be Dragons by here_and_there: pre-ShinDeku. “Izuku looked at the small circle Aizawa had motioned to in front of them. "I won't fit," he whispered, thinking. He raised his hand, tentatively. Sighing, Aizawa grumbled, "What?" "I-I have a question. Actually, two." His teacher just stared at him, unimpressed. Izuku continued. "Can we activate our quirks before we step into the ring?" Aizawa looked up into the sky, muttering something Izuku didn't hear. "If you must." "O-Okay. Uh, second question. You said we have to stay inside the circle, right?" "Yes." The man looked disappointed, not only in Izuku but in himself for letting the kid speak. "Great. Uh... does that include tails?"“ 6/? chapters.

43>Another Option by sandersonsister: TodoBakuDeku, Touya/Hawks, Dabi/Hawks. Potentially Spoilery, depends on whether horikoshi has the guts to confirm Touya. this one is waiting around the corner with a baseball bat, its really cute, and then r e a l l y painful. it might be getting better though. maybe. it might be getting worse. “When Touya stops his mother from hurting Shouto, he decides enough is enough. He needs to get out of this house and he's taking his baby brother with him.“ 33/? chapters.

That's it i’m done for now, oof. maybe ill edit more onto this post later, maybe i’ll just make another one. hope some of these work!

[evolsinner]

⊱┊29

everything happened as my brother had said it would: rendezvous, airport, flight, airport. kayrem’s standing there, arms crossed behind his back and waiting patiently in the airport waiting area. i take a deep breath and walk up to him. he gives a curt nod to the guy and hands him an orange envelope before he leaves us.

"sister," kayrem raises his eyebrows.

i'm more comfortable hurting in silence than answering him. he pulls me into a 'brotherly' embrace and i give in effortlessly. i could really use some comfort right about now, don't really care who it's coming from.

"what happened whilst i was gone?" i murmur over his shoulder.

"it went from hectic to quiet to typical."

"and maxi?”

i know where i left things off with my little bro. the look on his small pale face, the way he stood, the way he tilted his head to the side, confused and just more confused.

"right. if you're ref~"

i get a little too comfortable in kayrem's arms, they are like cushions and blankets. a middle~aged woman going past us stares at me skeptically. the anxiety forces me to take a full step back which takes kayrem by surprise. he, nonetheless, pretends that he didn't notice and instead stuffs his hands into his trouser pockets.

"...if you're referring to what i'm assuming you're referring to~"

"about how we kissed?" i clarify blatantly.

"nah, about how we fucked. yeah, of course about how we kissed."

my face goes red so fast that i might as well be the colour red.

"he has forgotten," kayrem takes this opportunity to prove himself right. "like i told you he would when you still proceeded to freak out on me."

"you didn't have to say that..” ..about how we fucked.

"then why'd you say it," he flicks an eyebrow up.

i give him a sullen look, “let's just get home."

-ˋˏ ༻🥂༺ ˎˊ-

now this is the home i was brought up in.

automatically, something fluffy runs towards me...actually directly past me and jumps ecstatically around kayrem's legs.

"hey there, homie!" kayrem closes the door after us before crouching to pat the cutest puppy i've ever seen. "you like that, don't you?" he chuckles, tickling the back of the puppy's ears.

ummm, i feel like i've heard those words before…

"homie!" maxi runs down the stairs. "get back here, homie!" when maxi reaches the ground, he pauses, looking up at me in surprise. "rosé!" he squeals. "you're back!" and he runs straight to me, hugging my waist and snuggling his little head into my stomach.

i stumble one step back, patting his head.

"so knew you'd come back! kayrem was right!"

i give kayrem a glare. he can't just go around telling maxi that i'd return. what if i never did? then what? false hope screws with people's minds more than broken promises!

i clear my throat, "who's this, maxi?”

"this is home," maxi releases me and joins kayrem. "but his nickname is homie. do you like him? he's so cute!”

"but i thought we weren't allowed to have any pets?" i watch both of them play with what looks like an 8~week~old golden retriever.

"kayrem made mummy say 'yes'!" maxi informs me gleefully.

"uh, yeah, well," kayrem stands up, getting ready to explain himself. "maxi needed something to keep him busy for a while after you.." he pauses and is smart enough to know not to finish that sentence. so this little guy," he looks down, "we adopted him."

"right," i give them an exaggerated look. "i'm off for a shower. have fun, you two."

"honey," dad walks into the doorway.

"dad," i instantly go stiff.

he shakes his head and removes his reading glasses, standing there like a worn~out person who's just had a lot of life's misery thrown at him. i go over to him give him a hug.

"larissa is a very good friend of yours," dad says to me out of the blue. "explained why you've been acting up lately. you need to keep her close ~ that one."

"what do you mean?" i take a step back.

"all i can say is that i'm sorry for all the pressure your mother and i have put on you this past decade and more."

"dad, you don't have to apologise for anything."

"it's about time i start. but first, you need rest. you look like a wild panda."

i giggle, "sure," and i go up the stairs.

"thank you for going through all that hassle for her," i overhear dad say to kayrem and i stop at the top to listen in.

"it's no bother, fath~"

"no, kayrem, you proved yourself to me today, to this family. it really is great to have you back ~ you and her both. rosé ~ she has lost her way far too many times since that.." there's a pause. "i can't even bear to say his name. since that scoundrel drove her away from us."

'scoundrel'?

"if she knew the kind of person he really is. the things he really did~"

"father, take a breather."

wait, what? what things?

"she needs someone to look out for her, kayrem."

"of course, i understand."

dad sobs.

"father, it's alright," kayrem consoles him. "i messed up when i left the family like that. i'm partly to blame for her behaviour. i'll look after marie. i will."

i've heard enough.

[ratsoh-writes]

My curiosity got me, so here is my submission for a match up.  Sorry it’s so long!  I look forward to seeing your reasoning.

PERSONALITY TRAITS:

MOM FRIEND:  I’m the friend that is almost over prepared for any situation and is protective, usually keeping others out of too much trouble or danger, but not stopping them from doing that stupid thing.  Some people will only learn from doing it and so long as it won’t seriously injure or kill them, go for it.  And I mean I am seriously prepared for most situations:  I have fluffy throw blankets and pillows in my car for those who get cold, extra towels just in case we somehow get wet, umbrellas/ponchos for those who need one, snacks/water just in case someone gets hungry/thirsty, first aid kit for small injuries, etc. Ironically, I am the only one without a kid so far.  

Extension of this would be my habit to act as the friend “nurse.”  Willing to spend hours taking care of a friend who isn’t feeling well and give platonic cuddles if needed.

Another extension of this is my need to feed anyone who comes over.  I think my love language is acts of service after typing all this. 

I’M LISTENING:  Always willing to offer an ear, even if I don’t believe I can council you.  Plus, for some reason, people just end up splurging life stories or something that is bothering them to me.  My life is mostly spent as that Naruto meme: “I have no clue what is going on, but I’ll pretend that I do.”  But I’m responsible about it, I won’t offer advice I’m not sure about and will usually refer you to someone else I feel is up to the task.

PATIENT:  Earned after years in customer service dealing with toddlers disguised as customers and also with friends who far exceed my energy levels.  It takes a good bit to anger me or very specific things to set me off, such as when I have asked you to please stop bringing up that stressful memory of mine again and again. 

I am told I am terrifying when I’m actually pissed.  Most times I don’t remember much when I actually snap, just that it happened, but details are fuzzy.  

CHILL:  My counselor once told me if I “Was any more laid back, I’d be on her floor.” And to a point, she is correct.  My house was on fire and my reaction wasn’t panic at the time, it was this odd calm that even when I reported the fire to my sister and authorities, they didn’t believe me until I showed them said fire.  I am reserved with those I don’t know well or are not comfortable around.  Once I trust you or you get me on a topic I love, I’m surprisingly passionate and animated.  

I feel this fits under here, but I also tend to do things at my own pace.  And not much can change that pace, but I will get what I set out to do done.

WHY ME?:  Too many people tell me I’m a natural leader, even got awards for it, but I never volunteer or want to be the leader in anything.  Usually, I just end up in that role somehow, some way.  Most times because I hate disorganized messes and those times the people I am with have trouble making concrete decisions and need some guidance to work out what they really want to do or the pressure to actually make a decision.  I may be an unwilling leader, but I will step up if needed.

WHIMSICAL:  Sarcasm, dry and sometimes cheesy humour, and an attitude to boot, but it’s rarely to be mean.  Most times it is me being playful and if I’m teasing you, that usually is a sign I like you and enjoy your company.  Plus, sometimes people need a little laugh or a spark of different emotion to get them out of a funk.  

INTEGRITY:  I could absolutely despise someone, but like hell I’m going watch them suffer.  In the same sense, if I take a job, I will do it right and not half ass it.  And far too many times I’ve had to step in and explain certain concepts in order to disperse negativity or help others see from another perspective to avoid adversity.  

CUDDLE BUG:  With people I am comfortable with, I am a cuddly person and do not mind a lot of skinship.  I am used to friends hanging all over me.  Plus, sometimes I just want to curl up someone as well.  

  STRENGTHS:  

Observant

Good communication skills & honest

Responsible & reliable

Full Size Human Heater.  I am ridiculously warm and always putting off heat.  Friends and coworkers alike use me as a portable heater.

Surprisingly good at being sly and collecting information if needed, like getting a shoe or ring size without tipping the person off it’s for a gift.  If they manage to call it, I always fess up and playfully make a fuss they ruined the surprise.

  WEAKNESSES:  

Terrible at lying, so I tend to simply keep my mouth shut instead

Willfully oblivious to flirting and absolute flustered mess once I am forced to recognize said flirting

Vast open waters terrify me

Tendency to keep my troubles to myself and try to solve problems on my own (don’t want to be a burden)

Can become despondent if I feel useless at times

  HOBBIES:

ART:  I’ve dabbled in several different medias, but my favorite is just a pencil or pen and any paper I can get my hands on.  I love drawing figures in dynamic poses.  Second favorite is sculptures built from wire.

COSTUMES:  I love Halloween, since it is the perfect excuse to make and wear my homemade costumes.  It also lets me challenge myself by making more complicated pieces like hooves, horns, and even chain mail.

BAKING/COOKING/CANDY MAKING:  I’m the cook in the house and I love it.  Seeing people enjoy my food is my favorite part.  Just don’t ask me for a recipe, I literally don’t have any and I won’t remember what I did.  

ORGANIZING/CLEANING:  I love puzzle games like Tetris and Catherine, and I love a challenge.  Combine the two by having me organize and rearrange a space to make it work and I am in heaven.

STORYTELLING:  When a story needs to be told, I am the one asked to tell it. Specifically I have such an entertaining way of telling it according to others.  Animated and colorful language, plus a few pit stops along the way with some side stories.  

  PET PEEVES:

CONTRARY:  Do not tell me to do something while I am doing it.  That will kill any motivation I had to do it.

BACKHANDED COMPLIMENTS:  It is possible to compliment someone without insulting them or others at the same time.  It just makes the compliment feel empty and negative.  And I tend to just hum and not reward that behaviour.  

TOO MUCH ATTENTION:  I don’t mind attention… from people I trust and are comfortable with.  Feel free to cuddle and coddle away.  But vast amounts of attention from those I feel are strangers or acquaintances will unnerve me (I have literally left functions immediately  where I walked in and was bombarded with shouts and attention aimed at me-sensory overload I guess).

  ODD HABITS:

NESTING:  No, I don’t think I have enough blankets and pillows.  Yes, the giant stuffed animal is needed and his name is Snuffie.  

CRUSH ME:  I’m serious, some days I need one of my friends or my bf to just lay all their dead weight on top of me.  It’s just oddly therapeutic.

NO, I’M NOT PREGNANT:  Just cause I ate that jar of olives in one sitting or suddenly was craving jalapeno juice and crushed ramen noodles.  There are never enough pickles and yes, I am determined to try every kind–I may have a vinegar addiction.

IRONY:  I bake some of the tastiest, sweetest desserts and make pralines and caramels, YET I myself do not favor sweet things. 

HANDS:  One thing I tended to do with nearly every boyfriend and guy friend I had was play with their hands and put their hands on my face/head.  I lived for being pet and having people play with my hair.    

NONVERBAL MOMENTS:  Sometimes words are just too much, so I instead make sounds.  Can be anywhere from a growl to a cat like noise, or the reliable “Nyeh.”

NO NOs:

I think I listed a few as I went through everything else, but ignoring boundaries is the main one.  If I tell you I’m not comfortable with something, do not make me repeat myself.  And usually that something is given a pass the first few times it is done before I say something and explain why I’m not comfortable with it.   

Example:  I have thick, curly hair, a product of my mixed heritage.  Well, sometimes I like to straighten it and I did just that one day.  Well, a coworker decided to make a backhanded compliment, stating I should stick to what works: straight hair over my natural hair.  I had gotten on him about it, but I decided to vent to a friend about what happened as well.  She proceeded to constantly repeat those hurtful words and while I knew she meant it playfully during those times, I had to stop her and sit her down, explain I don’t find it funny cause the words are linked to a hurtful, possibly racist memory that I didn’t want brought up again and again.   Thankfully she understood and stopped.  So, I don’t snap immediately and I understand sometimes a sit down needs to be done.

Ok first of all I gotta say that I absolutely loved reading your matchup!!! It’s so well organized, detailed, and the descriptions are pretty creative!!! Do you do any writing yourself, because you should!!! alright, geek out moment over.

i’ve got three guys you’re perfect for, but let’s go for the obvious one. HONEY!! 

You’ve checked off everything on honey’s list: caring, organized, laid back, and good for cuddling. Now here’s what he has to offer to the table: he will cuddle you back. This guy is the ultimate cuddle slut. You’ll never feel unloved with him. Honey is also a very thoughtful and appreciative guy. He likes caring for his partners. You may be the mom friend, but he’ll do his best to return that love as well.

Honey is a little awkward, but he’s also sensitive and empathetic to how others feel. If he puts his foot in his mouth, just tell him and he’ll never bring it up again. Plus this guy is just so honest and genuine that backhanded compliments aren't really a thing with him. 

Also you like costumes!!! He’s always wanted to try cosplay or theatre. You just might be the person to give him the courage to finally stick to one. 

dating honey includes:

cuddles upon heaps of soft things. He has his own collections of ridiculously soft blankets and pillows that he’ll happily add to your collection. Honey is also a master at pillow forts. 

honey is a good listener. He’ll be happy to just sit back and enjoy the stories you tell. There is start though, who is also the storyteller of the underswap home. Any funny story you give about your time together will be rewarded by star with a funny story from his and honey’s childhood, much to honey’s embarrassment

if you don't really like sweet things but love baking them, then honey and star will happily finish them for you. People are usually surprised about how just how much skeleton monsters can pack away. 

he’s a picky eater and will give you the wtf face when you fufil your weird cravings though lol 

Oh! Also if you’re wondering, the other two would’ve been either oak or coffee

[really-sleep-deprived-nerd]

The Gay Prince Dream (Roceit AU)

Okay so, this was based on a Dream I had.

TLDR: Roman is the prince sent to kill the shady wizard (Deceit) and they fall in love.

There was once a kingdom that was known for being a nice place full of kind and peaceful people. 

Roman is the Prince, while Virgil and Patton are the royal advisors. 

(Not relevant but Remus Annoyed The Wrong Witch and got cursed, so he is off in another kingdom looking for help to undo the curse. On his journey he somehow befriended Logan and now they travel together.)

Not too many months ago, a wizard made his house in one of the caves in the mountains behind the forest.

 He was pretty close to the kingdom and, understanbly, people lost their goddamn minds because of this.

Rumors about him spread like wildfire

Some people said that he had sold his soul to the devil so he could become more powerful, some people said that the gods grew jealous of his power/beauty/some shit and cursed him to slowly become a hideous monster, some people said that he was dangerous and evil, that he had killed and tortured innocent people for fun. 

Rumors said that only those that were truly desperate went seeking for his help, since they knew that it was probably a suicide anyways. 

Those who went to see him never came back.

Most people were scared to even say his name, so they referred to him as The Snake.

The king, understandably, started to fear for the safety of his kingdom if this wizard one day decided to attack. 

He decided to send his most trustworthy knight in a long term undercover mission to eliminate this possible threat. 

The knight was supposed to try and “befriend” this vile creature and, once he learned about his weaknesses, he was supposed to kill him the moment he had a chance.

The king gladly ignored Virgil´s argument about how it maybe wasn't the best of ideas to send his most trustworthy knight on a dangerous solo mission when said knight was also the only heir to the throne and sent Roman on his merry way.

Roman, surprising everyone (Including himself), took the smart route and, before going blindly into a deathly quest, decided to research and study what they actually knew about this wizard.

Turns out? They didn't knew a whole lot . 

There were only rumors or old stories that no one could prove. 

Well, excepting one thing: The people.

You see, people had actually went to see him and disappeared, but they were, according to their families, just “whiny and mildly upset about some nonsense” and that they “would have surely gotten over it if they hadn't been so god damn stupid to go and see The Snake”. 

And that catched Roman´s attention, because that “nonsense” their families were irritated about wasn't actually meaningless stuff. The complete opposite actually. 

Maria, the young daughter of a poor family had gone missing after she refused to marry the old and crusty noble man that had asked for her hand in marriage.  

Logan, the oldest son of a noble family had gone missing after stating that “Lady Delia is a beautiful and charming woman but that doesn't change the fact that I do not wish to engage in a romantic and or sexual relationship with her. Or with any woman, for that matter.” 

And the list just went on and on and on!

Roman was confused. 

And very much pissed at some of the people of his kingdom, but that's besides the point.

Still mainly confused, how come that no one knew exactly what this wizard was capable of doing? how come that people ran away to him and didn't come back? Like, sure, they had more than enough reasons to don't want to come back, but it's not like they packed their things before going to see The Snake, so what in the name of everything that is holy did the wizard do with them? Did he kill them? if so, why? people didn't kill people for no reason! 

“It's what evil monsters do, Roman, monsters have no reason to kill humans, they just do” had argued Virgil, but that's just plain bullshit, even monsters have a reason, even if it's just hunger.

So finally, after all that research that left him wondering if there was even a wizard to begin with, Roman packed his things and went to the wizard´s hideout.

Now, when he was told that the wizard “Lived in a cave” he was expecting, like, you know, a small and cozy cave with the bare essentials and a poorly made door or something like that.

But what he found couldn't be more different

For starters, the cave was big. We are talking shit-I-can't-even-see-the-ceiling levels of big. And it had a nice carved path on the stone floor that went from the entrance towards a nice and cozy looking cottage.

He approached it and knocked at the door. He shuffled awkwardly for a few seconds before the door opened to reveal a man that made Roman have A Gay Panic™

The guy was attractive. Like, otherworldly ethereal being levels of attractive. His factions were sharp and his eyes were hypnotic, one being a warm brown and the other being a bright almost yellow-y green. Half of his face was dusted with shimmering scales of that same color. His hair was slightly ruffled and was wearing a grey and yellow shirt with black pants.

When he saw Roman, his expression became an amused one.

“Oh, and what do we have here? A noble has come to dear old me for help? My, my, what an honor.” He practically purred “How could I possibly be of assistance, sir?” 

Roman surprisingly didn't melt and smiled.

“Ah, such is that I did not come to see you looking for help, it was out of mere curiosity” Roman lied. “I am right in assuming that you are the one they call “The Snake”?”

“Oh, is that what they call me now? What a lovely and not at all ominous alias they gave me!” He said with a roll of his eyes and a grin. “Why, yes, it is probably me, but I much prefer Dee if you don't mind”

Roman snorted and nodded “Duly noted, so, I have some questions that-”

“You want me to answer, excellent, since I'm sure this will be a long and not at all boring chat, would you perhaps like to come inside?” Dee offered and Ro accepted.

Both of them entered the cottage and Dee closed the door behind his guest to later guide him towards a living room of sorts. It had a couple of comfortable-looking chairs that were covered by soft and fluffy looking wool blankets.

“Please make yourself comfortable, sir” Dee instructed as he sat in one of the chairs, the “sir” was said in almost a mocking manner 

And they started talking. 

“What are you doing here?”

“Me? Oh well, this kingdom is just so lovely! Why wouldn't I want to come and visit?” He said with a roll of his eyes

“If you wanted to come and see the kingdom, why didn't you go to the town instead of staying here in the middle of a cave away from everyone like a gosh darn goblin?”

“My, why didn't I think of that! Staying in town with people that surely wouldn't ever dream of trying to throw rocks at me the moment they saw my face! I would have surely found someone to rent me a place, it's not like there is a stigma that us magic users are evil and should not be trusted! How could I-”

“Yeah I get it. Stupid question, no need for the overuse of sarcasm” Roman snorted.

And talked.

And the day became night and they still were talking.

And Roman discovered a number of things about Dee:

1) He wasn't actually “making people disappear”.To those that just badly wanted to run away he gave an always-full skin of water and an infinite loaf of bread and sent them on the direction to one of the neighbouring kingdoms.

2) He was charming and sweet and kind.

3) He actually got the scales after a witch cursed him to become a basilisk  because she mistook him for the guy that killed her husband. Upon realizing her mistake the witch tried to undo the curse but the scales wouldn’t go away. He thinks they add a little Something to his Aesthetic and the witch still feels terrible about it to this day.

And so, Roman decided to keep visiting Dee.

Fast forward a couple of months and Ro has got himself a new boyfriend that Virgil would very much like to burn at the stake and Dee has got himself a new boyfriend that drags him off in Reckless and Moronic adventures and that might just be the only human on this god forsaken planet to out-gay and out-drama him.

They love each other very much.

[writingsbychlo]

feels like loneliness (epilogue)

word count; 3100

summary; safe and happy, thomas finally let’s himself have what he wants.

notes; this series has been so much fun to write, even if it was painful, I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did!

warnings; reference to injury.

“and I give you everything, love”

The moment Thomas had jolted awake, he had been alone and the sudden action spiked pain along his stomach and chest as he brought a hand up to brush at the fresh bandages sitting on his midriff. Easing himself up, he rubbed gently at his eyes, the quiet peace around him and the calm sounds of waves lapping at the shore were confusing, and he let his legs dangle from the edge of the bed he was lying in. 

Dropping to the floor, he located his boots, his arms stretched out before him and he realised his skin was clean of the soot and blood he’d been coated in, his clothes changed and he settled into the feeling warmly. The feeling of being clean, and comfortable, of not being covered in dirt, or sand, or ash. The feeling of his skin not being sticky with sweat, burned from heat or coated in blood and raw from pain. 

He tugged happily on the loose sleeves of the light-weight jumper that hung on his frame, wiping the tiredness and sleep form his eyes as he looked around. He had been slipped into a pair of grey jeans, and a pair of socks on his feet, his hair brushed back out of his face carefully and he knew whoever had been looking after him knew him well to be able to pick everything out so perfectly for him. 

Medicines and needles, fresh wrapping and bandages sat on the tables around him as he glanced about, noting the journal and pen sitting on the stand by his bedside, tucked inside neatly to whatever page the owner had been working on last. 

Reaching out for his shoes, he tugged the boots on slowly, he grunted as he slid onto his feet, clutching at his chest lightly as he moved toward the blanket flapping softly as a makeshift door, just enough to have given him some privacy while he was unconscious. Taking a minute to get used to his own weight on his legs again, he took slow and steady steps out of the little hut, his feet meeting sand, not burnt and coarse like the scorch had been but white and soft, the squawking of seagulls reaching his ears as they sat atop buildings and flew out over the ocean. 

It was breathtaking, and Thomas felt like the air had been sucked right from his lungs as he took in the scenery. More green plantlife than he could ever remember seeing, and he was certain ever before his memories were taken too, sprawled out across hills and plains before him, trees rising up to block his view but it stretched as far as his eye could see in each direction, the shrubbery and life a refreshing sight to anyone.

The ocean reached out, all the way to the horizon and the sun, no longer too hot but instead the perfect and ambient warmth, glittered on the surface beautifully, sparkling in the clear day as the blue sky was speckled with fluffy white clouds, no signs of aggressive lightning or sweeping storms to be seen. 

Rocks sat in clusters and clumps along the sand at the place where the water met the land and the waves crashed up against them and sprayed out foam softly, birds picking in amongst the rockpools for their next meal, but they didn’t have to fight, plenty of food, fish and seaweed, to share between them all. The ship they had been working to fix up was sitting not too far out, perfectly visible on the horizon as another small boat moved slowly towards them presumably still shipping their supplies and cargo, in no rush.

Because, Thomas quickly realised, there was no rush. There was no racing, or running, no fighting for your life and definitely no horror to be seen. It was the most beautiful place imaginable, and a grin found it’s way onto Thomas’ lips as he looked around, taking a few more steps out until he found the grass, the muffles shouts of all the happy children he had saved came into earshot as he made his way from the edge of the little encampment to the centre.

Small kids bolted around his legs, playing tag or hide and seek, and he watched out over clusters of older kids all sitting on logs or the beaches in groups and chatting, recognising some of the faces. Some were kids from the Right Arm camo, some were ones they had rescued from the train in a bid to save Minho, and some were ones they had liberated from cells in the last city. Some, he was sure, they had even picked up along the way, as faces he knew he’s never seen before flashed past him.

Despite everybody he walked past, he had still yet to find any of his friends. 

Some were working, the community coming together to make everything he was seeing before him possible, and he stood still in the centre of it all, spinning on his heel as he tried to find someone he knew, looking out amongst the crowds. When he finally caught sight of the man who led them all, he made a path towards him.

Vince looked up upon hearing someone else’s footsteps, his eyes widening and he dropped the ears of corn he had been peeling into the basket at his side, dropping it to the ground as he smiled. His arms were held out wide and Thomas was quick to collapse into the warm embrace of them, sealing himself in a tight and reassuring hug, driving home that this was all, in fact, real.

“Look who’s finally awake.” Vince teased when he pulled back, his hands staying on Thomas’ shoulder as he squeezed it tightly and his brows furrowed.

“Finally? How long was I out?”

Scratching at the beard on his face, Vince hummed, thinking it over. “About five days, kid. You needed the rest. You deserved a break.” His shoulders tensed at the idea, and he glanced around, still unable to identify one of the faces he was looking for and Vince chuckled, turning to point up at one of the large hills sitting before him. “They took a picnic up the north face of this first hill. Newt woke up before you did, he woke yesterday, they took him up there to show him everything.”

Thomas’ eyes widened, his jaw-dropping as a relieved sigh escaped him. “S-So, Newt’s okay?”

“Pretty much everyone is okay, thanks to you!” Vince cheered, and Thomas nodded, swallowing thickly and fearing to ask the question. 

“Pretty much everyone?”

Vince’s eyes saddened from a second, his gaze leaving Thomas’ as his head dropped for a moment, before tilting back up. “It was a vicious fight, we lost a few, but we saved the many.” A silence settled between them as tears sprung to Thomas’ eyes. He remembered watching your body fall, and Teresa’s too. He remembers watching Minho dive from his sight with rope as Gally held onto him, and then he remembers nothing but darkness. “Look, why don’t you head on up and see them all, eh? Just follow the path, you won’t be able to miss them.”

With a sniffle to push back his emotions, Thomas took off on the intended journey, his feet dragging slightly on the dusty beach path as he made the walk up the gentle slope of the hill. The fields were sprawling around him, trees standing tall and lining the pathways to provide shade as he went, the sunlight trickling through the leaves. Bees buzzed around his head as they moved from flower to flower, pollinating as they went and birds sung happy tunes from their nests above his head, none of the delighted creatures knowing a thing of the pain and suffering beyond their lovely little island home.

Vince was right, it would be impossible to miss all of his friends, but he had heard them before he saw them. Laughs and shouts resonated in the air. He could hear Gally and Minho shouting at one another playfully, and upon peaking the ridge to see you all he could see them wrestling in the grass. Newt’s laboured and croaky voice was talking to them, enthusiastically calling the shots as his shirt hung open, flapping in the warm winds and revealing the bandages that were wrapped around his shoulder, another one around the original source of his troubles on his forearm, but the boy had never looked more alive.

Frypan was sitting by the picnic basket you had all packed, various blankets spread out around them, and on either side were Harriet and Aris, all three tucking happily into sandwiches. Brenda was laying among the long grass beside Sonya, chatting to her absentmindedly as the blonde girl laughed and nodded along with whatever was being said as she picked flowers while listening, and finally, there you were.

Thomas stopped dead in tracks as he saw you, and he felt like every worry and fear he’d ever had could slip away as he watched you laugh wit your friends happily. You hair sat in waves down your back loosely, your back half turned to him as you allowed Sonya to weave followers into the locks. A crown of them sat atop your head, trailing down into the small braids she done and sitting in the loose curls, and your cheeks were flushed with relaxed joy. As he watched you, simply doing nothing but listen to your friends talk, and soak up the sun, Thomas realised he knew exactly what love was. 

Love was knowing that as long as you were happy, he was happy. Love was smiling just because he saw you smile, and love was knowing that nothing in the world would ever matter to him again as long as he could hold you in his arms for the rest of his life. 

Thomas knew he was in love.

He was snapped from his reverie when his cheeks started to ache, the smile just from looking at you in all your ethereal happiness was overwhelming ad he raised a hand to rub at his sore cheeks, taking a few more steps forward and Newt was the first to notice him, his name being called out bringing everybody else’s chatter and activities to a stop as all eyes landed on him.

Minho shoved Gally out of the way roughly, collapsing into Thomas’ arms happily and he let out a soft ‘oomf’ at the impact of his friend, but hugged him back just as tightly, mumbling a ‘hello’ into his ear as he allowed Minho to wrap his arms even tighter around his form. With two fingers on his ear, Newt pulled him back, a coy smile on the blond’s lips as he looked at Thomas.

“Good to see you, mate.” His casual words made Thomas laugh, his head shaking as he hugged Newt, and checked he was okay. Brenda was next up, her arms wrapping around his neck as she held him, chastising him for being so stupid, and he knew it was her way of welcoming him home. To his surprise, even Gally had pulled him into a hug, his real name and not ‘greenie’ falling from the taller boys lips in an emotional welcome back, and Thomas had to suppress his joke about how soft the ex-builder really was. 

He was offered reassuring pats on the arms from Sonya, Harriet and Aris as each other greeted him warmly and welcomed him back, cracking jokes and giving him soft smiles as they thanked him for saving their lives. 

Finally, the crowd parted, allowing you to be revealed to him and the sun practically made a halo around your form, your face practically glowing as you looked at him and he felt those tars come back to his eyes as he took you in. A light sundress sat on your body, swishing around the middle of your thighs in the breeze, and you had traded out the jeans and long-sleeved t-shirts that protected you from the harsh sun rays to a simple dress that you could enjoy the comfortable heat in.

The neckline was lower than any of the high-cut shirts you’d always worn had been, and the necklace with his initial on sat against your skin, glinting in a perfect contrast as the light caught on it, clean and polished as it lay on your chest. His jacket, the jacket he had begged you to wear before they had gone into that battle was still hanging on your shoulders, swamping your form as it had been too big even for him, and you had rolled up the sleeves to expose your hands, the stains that had once covered it now washed out as you let it warm you happily, and keep you company for him while he was unconscious.

He barely had to take five steps until he was standing before you, and your mouth opened to speak to him, but he reached out, grasping the material of the denim jacket in both hands and tugging your forward and into his embrace as his lips crashed down onto yours.

You hummed against his mouth, your lips pushing back onto his just as passionately and he let his hands slipped down to your waist, fingertips digging into your flesh tightly, pulling you closer and closer to him as he bunched up the material in his hands in an effort to hold onto you, just needed to feel you with him. Your own hands landed on his body, one trailing up your chest as the other wove into his hair, and each time he pulled away for breath you could hear his ragged breaths, wet cheeks meeting yours as he immediately dove back into you, your noses bumping together and tilting to the sides as your mouths slid against one another slowly and passionately, conveying everything you had never gotten the chance to say.

The cheers and whooping of your friends in your ears made you snap back and your cheeks flushed red as you laughed gently, your face burying in Thomas’ chest and he brought a hand up to weave into your hair as he littered the top of your head with small pecks. Some of the flowers Sonya had so delicately placed fluttered to the ground as they were disturbed, and the other of his arms slid around your waist as he brought your body flush up against his. 

When the group finally dissipated and you dared to pull your head back to look at him, his eyes were shining, the light catching on the flecks of gold and illuminating the whiskey into a warm honey-shade, swirling with emotions. Sliding the hand in your hair down to your cheek, he let the palm close over the side of your face and you leaned into his touch, his thumb tracing along the bridge of your nose, trailing across your lips gently as he memorised every inch of your features. 

“I love you. I love you so goddamn much it hurts. A warzone was no place to tell someone that.” 

Your jaw dropped, and he grinned cheekily, his head dipping down to let his mouth slant over yours, his tongue slipping between your lips in a deep and slow kiss, the muscle dragging against your own as they tangled together, his head beating furiously against his chest to match your own as your bodies pressed together once again. When the burning for oxygen once again became too much, he pulled away, smirking at your breathlessness and returning blush. 

“Now, we can have a life together. I can love you the way you deserve to be loved, the way I want to be able to love you. Not only free, but.. happy and safe, the way you always wanted me to.”

He leaned down, pressing gentle kisses or your lips, and the tip of your nose before trailing them along your cheek and jaw nipping at your skin playful and you squirmed and giggled in his grasp, his arms still holding you flush up against him as you tried to free yourself, but he was never letting you go again.

“I have never, and I will never, love anybody but you.”

You teared up as he spoke, a hoarse laugh leaving you and you wiped at your eyes, a small cooing leaving his lips as he watched you, his nose dipping down to nuzzle and bump the tip against your own, your overwhelmed heart just bursting in your chest.

“I love you too, Tommy.” He hummed, a beam taking over his face as he pulled back to look at you. 

“Say it again?” His request was simple and you bit your lip, nodding at him.

“I love you, Tommy.”

“One more time?” 

“I truly, wholly, with every nerve, cell, and bone in my body, I love you, Thomas.” He let out a happy sigh at your words as his forehead came to rest against yours, both of your eyes fluttering closed and his breath washed over your lips. It was silent for a moment, and your arms looped around his torso the same way his were looped around yours, before a low laugh rumbled in his chest and you tilted your head back just enough to look at him, your eyebrows raised in a silent question.

“You better love me, I got shot coming back to save you.” You gasped in false offence, pulling back from him entirely as he leaned forward to kiss you, lips puckered as you backed away. Taking his hands from behind you back, you laced one of your hands with his, swinging them gently in the gap between your bodies.

“Yeah? Well, I got sent into the maze to save you once.” His eyebrows raised at you rebuttal, the two of you laughing as you guided him over to sit on the small blanket you had claimed as your own amongst the tall grass and flowers of the field. 

“Mm, that you did. And I love you for it.” He mumbled, turning you around and placing a peck to your lips before you could shy away from him, but instead, you pushed back up, returning the gesture. You looked at him cheekily, a smirk on your lips as he took a seat beside you and you winked, a chuckle leaving him as you spoke, quoting him from only moments ago; 

“You better.”