#we love a supportive sister

[bvckleydiaz]

BUCK (accidentally) COMING OUT TO MADDIE 🥺

[superbattrash]

How every Jinx day goes, basically:

Me: T minus 21 hours and 23 minutes until the season finale of jinx

Me: rants for two paragraphs about what may happen, what has just happened and my feelings about it

Sis, who does in fact not read Jinx at all: WHAT WHEN IS THE UPDATE

Sis: oh tomorrow

Sis: crawls back in my cave

Me, 15ish hours later: T minus 5 hours and 26 minutes…

Sis: THAT LONG??????

Me, 4 hours later: T minus 1 hour and 2 minutes

Sis: MAKE IT STOP, I NEED IT NOW

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[duckmine]

i headcanon louise takes it the hardest once tina moves out for college. i always assumed tina would eventually get good enough grades and credit to get a scholarship to a good school and would plan to move into a dorm or her own apartment; meanwhile louise gets to take her old room, but she realizes it’s not worth the space if her older sister isn’t gonna be with her anymore.

[kaiiscottage]

even if she tested my patience by want she said to my boy Matakara I have to be strong….I will not hate her…..she’s just a girl doing….stuff :3

[mathiwrites]

some people participate in ship wars, but after participating in @tamlinweek, me @ all the ship variations:

[cocoaletta]

jpeg shitty res go brrrrrr

[shy-forceghost]

I know they were busy saving the world and all of that, but we really got robbed of some interactions between Yasmine, Ava and Beatrice just ... being nerds together.

Imagine the potential: Yasmine blasting out fun history facts and then Beatrice complementing by bringing up a whole linguistic analysis; Ava just listens in awe before adding the most mind-blowing dystopian theory based on a sci-fi book she read.

[welcometogrouchland]

Also what if I said the show taking time to show that Luz and Hunter aren't unhealthily dependent on one another post time skip the way they were in thanks to them (but still close seen in Luz's patches on her clothes or Hunter taking time off work to go to Luz's bday) actually plays in to the cycle of sibling betrayal motif w/ the Clawthornes and Wittebanes????

[iguessitsjustme]

Uea’s mom let her biases destroy her love for her son.

King’s mom let her love for her son destroy her biases.

[cinna-bunnie]

not me and my manager trauma bonding over mommy issues 💀💕 i love her aksksk oof i had to go smoke and Think after this one

i love when our one on ones are basically like lol i don't have much 2 talk about this wk and we get like 40m to hang n talk after getting work stuff out the way. she is such a sweetie and so fun (❁´◡`❁)

[maraskywalkers]

I'm excited for Buck tell Maddie but if we get a tender scene of him telling Bobby I will actually cry all of the tears possible.

[totallynotgoat]

SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIES X AND PEARL

Shoutout to Howard for still loving Pearl even after finding out about her crazy escapades while he was at war

Honestly relationship goals, I wish someone loved me like that

[llycaons]

'poor heroic tragic saint jiang cheng' is actually my favorite jc misinterpretation it is just so fucking funny. I'll watch the man advocate to abandon a group of political prisoners to state-sanctoined genocide, constantly yell about his issues, threaten his nephew and everyone else around him, and abuse his power to intentionally trigger his traumatized brother bc he's mad at him and I go online and see posts about how he's so strong and noble and a great parent/leader despite suffering so much. LIKE

[sevicia]

Dipper & Mabel r soooo silly and cute ;__; like the show ended months before I turned 13 so I was always close to their age and I thought of them like omg Dipper n Mabel my best friends Dipper n Mabel ........ and now I'm 20 and re-watching a few episodes and it's like dude they are TINY ;______; and they love each other soooo much I <3 fictional siblings 5ever

[comradekatara]

gonna say smth that might be controversial but ykw i need to speak my truth. ideally, for me, kataang is like. bffs to middle school boyfriend girlfriend to amicable exes to friends w benefits to coparents of 2 great kids (bumi doesn’t exist bc he’s annoying) while they’re each in different parts of the world doing their own thing but also they see each other all the time and are always hanging out and traveling and chilling together because at the end of the day they are, fundamentally, best friends who love each other more than anything, and always will be, forever. peace & love & light; mwah <33