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mysoftboybensolo · 3 years

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The Alienist and the Soprano

Chapter 13: The Holidays

A/N: This was inspired by Laszlo’s love of opera and my thought on what if he fell for an opera singer. Multi chapter. Canon divergence, there is no Mary Palmer here (I loved Mary and Laszlo, so I don’t feel like I could have her here and have him be with another woman). A mix of show and book canons. No Y/N, OC named Evelina Lind.

A03: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32029150

Pairing: Laszlo Kreizler x Fem OC!

Summary: The last thing Laszlo Kreizler ever expected while investigating the death of children was to fall in love, and with an opera singer no less!

Warnings: Age gap, Victorian Christmas, mentions of past abuse, but much fluff! I had done my research on what Christmas was like back then, as well as the Hanukah dates and it seems 1897 was a big year; “Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus” was published in September of 1897, electric Christmas lights were growing in popularity and the unification of the boroughs in New York was official on New Years. And there is your history lesson of the day.

The air grew colder as Laszlo and Evelina’s relationship grew warmer. Evelina was spending more time with the team, just as Laszlo was becoming more and more acquainted with Evelina’s opera friends. Compared, they were a more rambunctious group, and she knew that Laszlo had his limits, but admired him for trying so hard. Maria often helped Laszlo along when Evelina was not by his side and he felt immensely grateful to her for guiding him through the corral. At first, her opera friends hadn’t been sure of Laszlo, unsure of this man who makes a living in psychoanalyzing people, who didn’t seem to fit in anywhere, but they always caught the spark of joy in his eyes when Evelina came beside him, the way he tried so hard for her. Even if he couldn’t keep up with them, they still saw the utter devotion between the pair and that was enough for them to approve the relationship.

It was a time for the singers to rest themselves for The Nutcracker to be performed, and a real treat for them all. It had done so well last Christmas that the opera house had decided to do it again, and who knows, perhaps it will become a Christmas tradition.

As November closed in, Evelina had been helping Sara scout out locations for her new agency, hoping that she’ll find it before the weather turned too cold to be out scouting. As they looked around a space, Evelina asked Sara a few questions. “What will you require of your workers to do?”

“Just as any other detective agency will have, secretaries, detectives. Roosevelt has agreed to let the officers help us whenever we need it, which must mean he bears no ill will towards my leaving. Hmm, no, too small. I need at least four rooms; this will not do.” They stepped out into the cool air, leaving them both to shiver. “Winter certainly is coming, there is no doubt.”

“Yes, that shall mean Christmas!” Evelina replied excitedly. “It’s my favorite time of year. Everything looks so magical with the snow and the good cheer, and of course the music.”

“Well, then you might convince Laszlo to have a party this year. He doesn’t celebrate it, at least, from what I have known of him. I wonder if it comes from an unhappy memory,” Sara mused.

“Then I shall make it my duty to give him a Christmas full of happiness. The opera will be performing The Nutcracker, perhaps I will invite him to a performance then have a party. It’ll only be a small affair, you, John, and the Isaacson Brothers.”

Sara looked at her strangely then asked, “You are aware that they are Jewish, don’t you?”

“I am more than aware, in fact, I know that it starts on the nineteenth of December and ends on the twenty-seventh. And it doesn’t have to necessarily be a Christmas party, but a holiday party. A celebration of simply being together and friends. Surely, Laszlo couldn’t object to that.”

Wrapping her arm around Evelina’s, Sara couldn’t help but to smile. “Not when you put it that way, he wouldn’t.”

Laszlo visited just shortly after the ladies returned home, feeling too frozen to go any further. “And how has the property hunting been going for you?”

Sara groaned, “Don’t mention it. It feels as if I am never going to find the perfect place. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I am going to get myself a good stiff drink,” she huffed as she went off to the kitchen, leaving Evelina and Laszlo alone in the den.”

Now was the perfect time for her to ask the question. “Laszlo, Christmas is coming soon, and I was wondering what it is that you do for the holidays?”

“Well, Christmas Eve, I spend it with the children who are left behind at the institute, watch them open their gifts in the morning then return home for a quiet day in.”

“Oh, Laszlo,” she said, “I love that you take care of your children, but what about yourself? Doesn’t it get to be a bit lonely?”

He pursed his lips in thought then said, “Well, yes, I suppose, but it was better than what I used to have when I was younger. Those were the better days. We hosted a fine Christmas party, my father was at his best and my mother wore her finest, and the house looked like a picture book. But” he said, with matter-of-fact tone, “When the party was over, it wasn’t so picturesque.”

“You don’t have to tell me,” she softly affirmed.

“No, I want to, and we promised, no secrets.” It was true, after the absolute confusion that came from not sharing their feelings and the disaster that followed, they had agreed that nothing would be held back. “Santa was not something told in my household, but rather the fear of God. He’d make me read the bible which involved the birth of Christ, but any little flaw, hesitation or stutter and he’d beat me while calling me a blasphemer for ruining the scripture.”

She wanted to ask how that was better than the usual days, but she wasn’t sure if she was ready for that. “My mum died just a week before Christmas, and to celebrate it without her was awful. Winston was not manageable during those times,” she paused after the mention of her brother, and Laszlo saw a flash of pain in her eyes. “When he was locked up, that first Christmas, my father broke down, he felt he had broken his promise to my mother in keeping the family together. Even though I told him that he was not to blame for Winston’s actions, every year after, I could see the echo of pain in his eyes. This will be my first Christmas without any of them.”

Laszlo lifted his hand, unsure if he ought to reach out and comfort her, and knowing that she’d not only appreciate it, but that he’d have to get used being open with another, he placed a hand on top of hers, which rested on her lap. It was the right move to do, as it had made her smile and lean in to rest her head against his shoulder. Laszlo felt a small surge of pride in himself, he was doing better in showing intimacy and he liked it.

Having a party to plan helped to fill Evelina’s free time from the opera, but most importantly, it allowed her the chance to make a surprise for Laszlo. Thanks to her covert cleverness, she found out which children will be spending Christmas at the institute and with the permission of the staff, she managed to pull them together to work on a surprise for him. They nearly got caught once, Laszlo came back from a meeting a bit sooner than Evelina expected, but she managed to play it off well, saying that she had been bored and wanted to play the piano for the children.

Stevie proved to be rather helpful in preparing Christmas at Laszlo’s home and was more than happy to be commissioned by Evelina to help with the planning. He scoured out the best decorations and the best tree to have standing in Laszlo’s den, and when he was finished with it, even he could admit he did a rather fine job. There was one thing that Laszlo had a hand in the decorations, and it was the purchase of these new electric string lights, meant to replace candles, and it was a smart choice, and in Evelina’s words, magical. As Stevie was busy with the decorations, Evelina was off to work with the invites and the Isaacson Brothers were surprised to say the least but were still very pleased to be invited to such a party, knowing how much it meant to her. Sara had been the first unofficial guest invited and John most certainly was not one to pass up a party.

Christmas Eve arrived and Evelina dressed herself in her green and red velvet walking gown, truly getting into the spirit and went to the institute to see Laszlo. Many of the parents came to take their children home for the holidays and as much as it was a wonderful sight to see parents not forsake their little ones, it was doubly heartbreaking to see those few whose parents never came. It was Laszlo and Evelina’s special mission to make sure that they still received the experience that they would have had if they were home, even carrying on the duty of decorating the tree and great hall for the children to enjoy. Most of the staff could go home to spend it with their family, but there were a few who did not have a family of their own who stayed and happily joined in the festivities with the children.

Daylight had gone when was a surprise waiting at the front door, and who would have guessed that Santa would come and see the children of the Kreizler Institute? Watching John all dressed up as Santa was a delight, especially when the younger children climbed on his lap and gave “Santa” a hug and wished him a Merry Christmas. It didn’t take much convincing, for John thought it a wonderful idea and he could not say no to Evelina’s sweet intentions, even if it made him look a bit silly. Sara was the unofficial Mrs. Claus, dressed in her lovely green evening gown and many of the children loved going up to her and asking questions of the North Pole, truly convinced that she was indeed the wife of Santa. She watched John take in the children’s excitement with great stride and enjoyment and thought it the finest thing she had ever seen, and her heart swelled at the thought of him doing this for the children.

When John and Sara left, it was time to show off Evelina’s surprise. Gathering the children up, she sat at the piano and began to play. Laszlo watched with wonder and love as Evelina led the children in a most heavenly rendition of Ding Dong Merrily On High, the children looked so happy to be a part of something. He wasn’t even bothered by the religious overtones of the song; he just enjoyed the sweet voices that sang in perfect harmony and was touched to see that his love put so much effort into surprising him.

Soon, it got to be bedtime and the children were escorted back their rooms, eagerly awaiting Santa’s arrival and the staff to their rooms. Usually, Laszlo was the only one to take up the duty of stuffing the stockings and providing the children with gift, making sure each one got an equal amount from Santa. Evelina stayed with him and happily helped to stuff the stockings, despite her own sleepiness. It was an endearing sight, the pair of them on the floor, helping to stuff stockings and wrap presents.

“How long have you done this?”

“Ever since the institute was opened. It was quite sad to see those children left behind to have nothing, so I made sure to carry on the tradition of Santa. You may think that I do not agree with the idea of telling fantastical stories to children, but I think it is important in the development of a child. It stimulates their creativity as well as teaches them lessons.”

Evelina smiled and started with, “Don’t laugh, but I still believe in Santa. Oh, I don’t mean that there is an actual person who goes about in a flying sleigh and gives presents to all children around the world, but the idea of him. Do you remember back in September there was that article answering a little girl’s question of if there was a Santa? That article was a wonderful summation of how I feel about Santa. How there is someone who can be full of good cheer and selflessness and the possibility that we could be just like him. Like this, right now. The fact that you go out of your way to make sure these children have a merry Christmas, to never make them feel left out, it is very Kris Kringle of you. And I am sure you’d look dashing in red.” His deep blush only proved her right.

It was nearing midnight when they had finished and left the institute and despite the chill, they walked through the snowy streets, enjoying the calm and winter beauty. “I am sorry if this wasn’t what you had imagined you’d spend your Christmas Eve.”

“Indeed, it was far better than I could hope. To help give children a good time, to create magic and now walking home with you, it is wonderful.” The church bells tolled, and they stopped to listen to the lovely knells as it chimed Christmas day. “Merry Christmas, my darling.”

Laszlo smiled, knowing that she gave him at last an endearment. “Frohe Weihnachten, meine liebe.”

Laszlo came to pick up Evelina early on Christmas day so she could be at the institute before the children woke and watch with Laszlo as they opened their gifts from Santa as well as from Laszlo himself. She loved the glimmer in his eyes when looking at the children enjoying themselves, forgetting their woes and problems, glad to see that they would have a normal childhood that he never had. Once he was sure that the children were taken care of, the pair went off to enjoy Christmas themselves. It had been purely coincidental, but Laszlo wore his dashing green vest and tie while Evelina wore her lovely red satin dress, looking as if they had coordinated with the holiday and each other, anyone who didn’t know them would have been certain they were husband and wife.

The party was beginning at noon, giving time to everyone that was coming to enjoy their morning and get ready to spend it together. Sara had been the first to arrive, no surprise, the Isaacson Brothers came, Marcus brought along his dear Esther and her daughter, and then John. Laszlo had almost thought that all the guest had arrived, when Stevie entered and said, “We’ve got two more guests!”

Laszlo looked perplexed, for who else could come, and Evelina watched in amusement as his mouth fell agape as Cyrus walked in with his niece, Joanna, looking rather fine in their Sunday best. Laszlo jumped up from his seat and went to his old employee and friend. “Cyrus! How are you? I didn’t know you were coming.”

“No, but Miss Lind did. Stevie brought Miss Lind to my work and she had personally invited me to the party, as well as Joanna. It was wonderful of her to come to me personally.”

Evelina stood and warmly greeted Cyrus and Joanna. “I am so glad you came. Laszlo told me so much of you and I just had to properly get to know his dear friend.”

“And I am honored to know the woman who could convince him to throw such a party,” Cyrus laughed heartily.

Evelina had been a wonderful hostess, making sure everyone had been attended to, even making sure Stevie felt welcomed in the celebrations and had helped Lucius feel a bit more at ease with the help of Joanna, of which the pair seemed quite intrigued by each other. Laszlo watched in wonder of how she could manage to move around with grace, kindness and energy when he still had difficulty to be as open to those of whom he feels are his friends. He admired her and was honored to be the man of whom she loved above others.

The afternoon was spent playing games, Blind Man’s Bluff, Yes and No, and Charades. Laszlo had sat out of Blind Man’s Bluff, but allowed himself to be dragged into Charades and Yes and No. He was afraid of appearing to look ridiculous, but Evelina argued that everyone was doing the same, so they all looked the same amount of ridiculousness. The luncheon was informal, people made their own plates and sat around Laszlo’s den, like they all were old friends, and it was a kind of homey feeling that Laszlo had never felt before, it was warm, safe, good.

It would not be a good party without a mistletoe, at least according to John, who hung it over his friend’s head and teased that someone ought to kiss him or else he will. Evelina more than happily rose to the challenge, making it the second kiss that the pair had shared. She challenged John to hang it over his head and get a kiss, or else he’ll have to kiss the lizard at the institute, and just as she hoped, Sara decided to help him out by placing a chaste kiss to his cheek, but he turned on accident and the pair had kissed on the lips. The blush on their faces told so much and Evelina buried her face in Laszlo’s chest to try and stop her smile from being noticed, but she spotted something beyond him. Moving towards it, she couldn’t help but to admire the beautiful piano. Laszlo came up beside her and said, “You may play on it whenever you wish. It’ll be nice to see that old thing getting some use. I haven’t played in so long.”

“You played?” She had never known that Laszlo used to play, at least before the incident.

“Yes. I was quite good.”

“Better than good,” Sara interjected, coming in the conversation, hoping to escape her situation. “His name was in all the papers; he could have been a great pianist.”

“Why don’t we do gifts?” Evelina suggested, hoping to prevent Laszlo from falling into his darker thoughts, and she excitedly handed out her gifts. They weren’t expensive gifts, but they were heartfelt and personal to each, and that meant more than anything in the world, even Stevie, who hadn’t expected to get a gift and didn’t usually like to be sentimental, but even he couldn’t refuse the copy of An Anarchic Adventure by Jules Verne, his favorite author. Laszlo had received a copy of The Psychology of Emotions by Théodule-Armand Ribot, of whom Laszlo had been fascinated with.

Laszlo made himself go last, giving everyone incredible gifts; Stevie getting his very first shaving kit as he was now a young man, Esther and her daughter fine new dresses, to name a few, and lastly went to Evelina, giving her a box. When she opened it, it was a beautiful toiletry box, made of a dark wood and lined with pink velvet. Opening one of the drawers, she noticed two large and full bottles of her perfume, ‘Fantasia de Fleurs’. “Oh, Laszlo! This is too much! And on top of that, two bottles of my perfume?”

“It is not too much,” he countered, “And besides, it is for selfish reasons too, for I love your scent, perhaps a bit too much,” he admits with a blush across his cheeks. “No one else should buy this for you but myself.”

It was true; when she did first receive this, it was meant to be a bribe gift from one of the patrons at the opera, but she loved the scent too much to toss it away. To have Laszlo buy it for her not only was sweet, but intimate, and she liked that he felt way, wanting no other to buy her perfumes. Sara had been the one to inform which perfume it was and told Laszlo that she had mentioned about getting a box of her own, and he made sure to get the finest box with the two largest bottles so she wouldn’t have to.

The Isaacson Brothers had left with their guests and just before everyone was to go off on their own, Evelina made sure to have a few carols played and sung. John and Sara had quite nice voices which blended very well together, Cyrus deep and warm, and Joanna and Stevie wholeheartedly sang. Laszlo’s voice was not deep or powerful, but it was soft and comforting, and it sounded wonderful to hear him sing Silent Night in German, a request that Evelina had asked, and he did only for her. When he sang, all stopped and listened, and all Laszlo could see or know was Evelina, playing the piano, with a grace and power that reminded him of his youth. Instead of painful memories, it made him smile and happy.

Cyrus and his niece left to have dinner with their family, John to his grandmother’s, leaving Sara and Stevie to join Evelina and Laszlo to the opera for The Nutcracker. This had been Stevie’s first time to the opera and the wonder in his eyes was so enduring and how he watched as the story enfolded before his eyes. In the dark of the auditorium, Evelina had reached her hand over to Laszlo’s, and held it. He looked over at her and wordlessly, he thanked her for a wonderful Christmas.

The good cheer from Christmas continued to carry on for the next few days as New Year’s was approaching and for good reason. The New York government had made the decision to unite the five boroughs of the city to create what would be nicknamed “Greater New York” and it was a wonderful reason to celebrate.

It was a momentous occasion, one that Evelina wished to see and thanks to Laszlo’s influence, they managed to watch it all happen close by and safe away from the mad crowd and the pouring rain. As the New Year rang, everyone watched in wonder as fireworks blasted in the sky, cannons fired, steamboats blowing their horns and brass bands played their hearts out, for when the new year rang, the new flag had unfurled over city proclaiming it’s celebration, the birth of the City of New York.

“Oh, darling,” Evelina gasped, “Just think, we are lucky to have seen this happen. To see a city come together as one, it’s beautiful!”

Laszlo wrapped his arms around Evelina’s waist and placed his head in the crook of her neck as they watched the city celebrate outside, “1898 shall be a happy year. I am sure of it.” She turned her head and shared their third kiss but first kiss of their new year and turned back to watch the merriment.

It then struck him right then and there, something that he thought would never be possible, something he’d never have, and yet it was here in his arms, and he would not let it go so easily. Now, it was just the matter of asking the question.

Tagging: @monsieurbruhl @cazzyimagines, @scuttle-buttle, @violetmuses @flutterskies @sokoviandelights @rumblelibrary @fictionlandslanddreams @somethingthatsaysbubbles @alindeluce and @barnesxnobles

#the alienist #laszlo kreizler #daniel bruhl #daniel brühl #fanfiction

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brandonjg227 · 3 years

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10 Best Animated Christmas TV Specials (Redux)

This is a remake of my Top 10 Christmas TV Specials. Animated Christmas TV specials are some of the most beloved forms of holiday entertainment, and these 10 specials are always worth revisiting.

#10) 11 Louds a Leapin’

The Louds are caught up in their usual holiday mayhem, like reindeer trapping, holiday music, presents, even Christmas Puns. Everyone's in the Christmas Spirit except for their neighbor Mr. Grouse who's always a grumpy bear on the holidays. But when Lincoln sleigh ends up in Mr. Grouse's house, he finds out why Christmas always makes him so sour. So Lincoln and his family and friends make a plan to get Mr. Grouse in the Christmas Spirit.

#9) Phineas and Ferb Christmas Vacation

It's Christmas Eve in Danville and Phineas and Ferb are excited to be on winter break. As the boys write letters to Santa, they realize that he is greatly underappreciated in their town. With the help of their friends, they transform their town into a giant thank you card for him. Meanwhile, Perry faces off with Doofenshmirtz who has made a device that will put the entire town on Santa's naughty list.

One thing that's fun about "Phineas And Ferb Christmas Vacation!" is that two versions of the episode exist with one being a bit longer. Not only does the episode capture the warmth of the season, but it's a great showcase of the charm of Phineas and Ferb as a show. The episode also features several original Christmas songs that are sure to get stuck in everybody's heads.

#8) Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire

On the air for an astounding 28 seasons and counting, it is hard to imagine what life was like before The Simpsons. Though Bart and company were first unveiled to the world in short interstitials during Fox’s The Tracy Ullman Show, most of the world remembers their origin as “Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire.” Their first full length episode aired as a Christmas special — the only one to ever premiere in the 1980s. Its premise is a familiar one — Christmas is threatened because of lack of money, partly due to an unplanned tattoo removal, and it is Homer who has to figure out how to make it all right. Hilarious and heartfelt, this was the perfect introduction to a family who would become a part of our own households, and notable for the addition of Santa’s Little Helper into a brood that would soon become a phenomenon.

#7) Christmas Who? & It’s a Spongebob Christmas

Patchy the Pirate tells the story of Spongebob's very first Christmas. When Sandy tells Spongebob a magical tale of gum drops, toy making elves, flying reindeer, and most importantly Santa Claus. Spongebob becomes captivated by this and immediately tells his friends about the holiday magic. Everyone except Squidward believe this tale and they begin to get ready for Santa Claus's expected arrival. But when Santa's a no show, the last person anyone would expect saves the day.I not really sure what the moral of the story is, but I guess we should treat every Christmas like it was our first.

In Spongebob Squarepants first ever Stop Motion Special, Plankton is tired of always getting a stocking filled with coal, and in his latest scheme to get the Krabby Patty Formula from Santa. He uses fruitcake that layered with an element called Jerktonium, which turns everyone into Bikini Bottom into jerks to make himself look good by comparison. This works on everyone except for Spongebob, who's love for Christmas makes him immune to Jerktonium. While Plankton send a giant dangerous wind-up Spongebob to ruin his good name, Spongebob must find a way to cure everyone in Bikini Bottom before Santa arrives...Don't be a Jerk, especially on Christmas!

#6) Mickey’s Christmas Carol

Playing Scrooge in his own version of the Charles Dickens classic, the beloved, sight-challenged gentleman was not only the earliest cartoon character to do so, but Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol became the first animated made-for-TV special ever. A Christmas Carol soon became a template for any and every cartoon franchise to eventually step into, but the cream of this crop was most definitely Mickey’s Christmas Carol featuring Scrooge McDuck in a role he was literally born to play. Though this short was originally released theatrically to accompany The Rescuers in 1983, it found a home on TV the next year and stayed in heavy rotation thereafter. Scrooge’s transformation from miser to altruist is as captivating as any live-action production of this well-known tale, and with all our favorite Disney characters rounding out the cast in parts both large and small, it is no wonder this version is the fairest of them all.

#5) A Charlie Brown Christmas

Charlie Brown might be a character always down in the dumps, but even he can't help but get swept up in the holiday spirit in the beloved animated classic A Charlie Brown Christmas. Arguably the standout holiday special within a Peanuts canon filled with them, A Charlie Brown Christmas has been a beloved tradition since it first aired in 1965.

It's hard to find a single beat of the special that doesn't work on all levels. From the school Christmas nativity pageant, to the gang dancing to Schroeder's Christmas music, to Charlie Brown's sad little Christmas tree and the gang showing up to save the day, the Peanuts are at their best in this deeply moving and powerful Christmas special.

#4) Dr. Seuss’ How The Grinch Stole Christmas

Though the Grinch himself may represent the absolute antithesis of Christmas, there's no denying that the legacy of How the Grinch Stole Christmas extends far beyond the original special. Remade time and again in movie and musical form, the story of the Grinch is perhaps one of the truest examples of the reason of the season.

While the Grinch spends much of the animated special terrorizing the poor unsuspecting residents of Whoville, it is his unexpected connection with Cindy Lou Who, his astonishment at the sincerity of humanity's faith in the holiday, and his heart growing three sizes in the special's final moments that demonstrate what Christmas truly is all about.

#3) Santa Claus Is Comin’ To Town

Yet another classic Christmas animated special owes its very existence to yet another classic Christmas carol. Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town, released by Rankin/Bass in 1970, tells the origin story of the man who would become Santa Claus, Kris Kringle (as performed by Mickey Rooney).

The special, narrated by Fred Astaire, features some of the most iconic and memorable characters in all of Christmas special history, including the Winter Warlock, Burgermeister Meisterburger, and Tanta Kringle and the Kringle family. It also features some truly iconic songs in addition to the titular track, such as "Put One Foot in Front of the Other" and "The First Toymaker to the King."

#2) Frosty The Snowman

One of the many Christmas specials inspired by classic Christmas carols also happens to be one of the very best of them. Frosty the Snowman, released by Rankin/Bass in 1969, tells the story of the familiar old snowman friend and his first visit with the children who created him.

The special complicates the classic tune's tale, introducing a villainous foe in the magician Professor Hinkle, a trip to the North Pole to find Frosty's true habitat, and a heart-wrenching sequence in which Frosty sacrifices himself to save his dear young friend Karen. But by the end, it's clear that Frosty will be back again next year on Christmas Day, just as promised.

#1) Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer

Once again continuing the series of treasured holiday classics inspired by beloved Christmas songs, the timeless Rankin/Bass classic Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is arguably the very best of them all. The 1964 special tells the tale of the adorable holiday underdog Rudolph, as well as his unexpected best friend Hermey the elf who wants to be a dentist.

It also introduces countless other iconic characters to the canon, including all inhabitants of the Island of Misfit Toys, Bumble the Abominable Snowman, and Yukon Cornelius. With a rousing music soundtrack including songs like "Jingle, Jingle, Jingle," "Silver and Gold," and "A Holly Jolly Christmas," the special works on every level imaginable and truly excels in making viewers feel the Christmas spirit.

Well, that’s it for today’s post, thanks for reading! And don’t forget to tell me your favorite comebacks so far and/or if you like any of these specials.

Merry Christmas Everyone!

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tipsandhows · 3 years

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Create your DIY Christmas Costumes

Everyone loves Christmas, but if you're like me, then sometimes it can feel like the same routine every year. We all know what we're getting our loved ones for presents, where we're having Christmas dinner and exactly how much money is spent on decorations.

If it's starting to feel a little stale in your household this festive season, why not shake things up by making some DIY Christmas costumes? With these creative ideas, it'll be like introducing an entirely new holiday - one that your family will never forget!

So let's get started!

Santa Claus Sweater Costume

Since the beginning of time, Santa Claus has only ever been seen wearing a red costume just like the elf on the shelf - but that doesn't have to be the case! While you're busy being creative this Christmas, why not turn yourself into the iconic festive figure by making your own Santa Claus sweater? All you'll need is some sequins, pom-poms and ribbon. Stick them all together neatly to create a beautiful design before sewing it onto an old jumper or cardigan. It's as simple as that!

Mrs Claus Costume

While Santa Claus is undoubtedly one of the most well-known festive characters, his wife also has an important role to play - after all, who else will give him a helping hand at Christmas time? If you want to become Mrs Claus this Christmas, then make your own fur-trimmed dress with some fake fur fabric. Add detail with items like pearls or sequins before colour co-ordinating them onto a white or cream piece of clothing. Once finished, find yourself a suitable wig and cane before getting into character!

The Elf on The Shelf

If there was ever a reason to buy children’s toys, then having them help with your DIY Christmas costumes is definitely one. Who needs Santa's elves when you can use their toys? The Elf on the Shelf, or one of his friends, will make an excellent addition to your festive celebrations - especially if they come in a variety of sizes and accessories for elves! Use things like plastic figures, bells and toys that you find around the house to create your own little elf buddy who will keep watch over you throughout December! Once finished, all you need to do is attach some wings - they're sure to make you look magical!

DIY Christmas Tree Costume

Who doesn't love the annual family tradition of putting up the Christmas tree? But regardless of how much fun you have decorating it, at the end of the day, it's just a tree in your living room. Why not make this year's festivities more festive by turning yourself into one! Making a DIY Christmas tree costume is simple - all you need are some green balloons that can be decorated with cotton wool balls or tinsel. Slotting them together will keep them secure while also giving you room to breathe inside your creation.

Christmas Gift Costume

If there's one thing we can all agree on when it comes to Christmas, it's receiving presents - so now is your chance to receive one in real life! Who wouldn't want a festive gift as part of their celebration? All you'll need is some brown paper, some tape and a few bits of ribbon to create your own Christmas gift costume. To make it even more realistic, write 'To: (insert name) From: (insert name)' on the front before tying it up with string or ribbon!

DIY Reindeer Costume

Reindeer is one of the elf pets. Whether Rudolph is your favourite character from the classic Christmas tale or if you just love reindeers in general, what better way to celebrate winter than turning yourself into one? It's easier than it looks. All you'll need are brown paper bags that have been cut up and painted white along with a few red pompoms for the nose!

Christmas Wreath Costume

For this costume, all you'll need is some green ribbon and artificial flowers. To make it even more realistic, throw in some pines too - after all, they're one of the most iconic symbols of Christmas! Simply tie them together before attaching them to your head - now you'll look just like a festive wreath!

Christmas Pudding Costume

This is another costume with an impressive size - so it's perfect for large parties or gatherings. To create this, simply wrap yourself up in white fabric before adding some fake chocolate buttons with brown ribbon. The best thing about this costume is that you can wear it after Christmas has ended - but be careful not to eat too much pudding or else people might mistake you for the real thing!

Snowmen Costume

This is another costume that is perfect for all those large Christmas parties because you can create a whole family of snowmen. All you'll need to make the first one are some craft sticks, fabric and glue - then decorate it with buttons, cotton wool balls and pom poms before finally attaching the scarf! For your next snowman, turn an old shirt into a sweater using fabric pens before simply making his face out of felt or drawing on buttons with a permanent marker. Then just keep adding more branches to complete your snowy theme group!

These are some of the creative costumes that you can dress up for this holiday season. You can be creative while staying at home with your family and friends during Christmas. Hopefully, these DIY Christmas costumes will help you create unique and fun outfits for your party! Enjoy this festive season!

#christmas #christmas costumes #xmas #holiday season #activities at home #elf on the shelf #elf accessories #elf clothes #santa claus #diy

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mrs-hollandstan · 5 years

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Mrs. Claus || Tom Holland

Pairing: dad!Tom Holland x mom!Reader

Warnings: smut (18+), brief male receiving, role play, Christmassy themes, mentions of kids during sex, vibrator use

Word Count: 3,353

Author's Note: Happy early Christmas if you celebrate. I honestly wanna say that my New Year's resolution is to post more but we all know that probably won't happen haha. Anyways, enjoy, lemme know what you think, and add yourself to my taglist in the description if you haven't already. :)

My Masterlist || Add yourself to one of my taglists

September 6th was definitely a day to remember in the Holland household. What with all the planning and time that was poured into the ocean themed nursery and such. Of course, the dilemma within this little miraculous journey you and Tom has decided to take was that the normally vicarious sex life the two of you had before and after marriage and before the sweet little boy you gave birth to was very much halted when you grew insecure of your body later in the pregnancy and then there was the whole six week, no sex just a precaution thing.

Tom was a trooper though. He reassured you even though he was exhausted and he went and fetched the baby for the next three months leading up to Christmas and the new year. Even though your son was only three months old now, Tom couldn’t help that feeling of, “holy shit we’ll have a one year old this time next year." He was so distracted with your baby boy that sex, even the thought of it, didn't bother him up if you were unsure of yourself, or if the baby needed either of you, until the point of nearly five months with no contact just around Christmas. There was only so much he could do for himself, with his hand and you had a plan.

Tom lays your baby in his cot, staring down at the sleeping boy for a moment with a smile. He's proud of the little family he's so far created with you and seeing a little baby that resembles him so much, laying in a crib, having been rocked to sleep by Tom, his dad, is beautiful to him. He sighs, watching the baby, unmoving for just another moment before creeping from the room, closing the door most of the way behind him before he starts towards the room,

"Babe, where'd you head off to? You shoulda seen his little- face-" He sputters, all thoughts of how cute your son is, gone when he sees the sexy Mrs. Claus costume you'd traded your sleep tank top and pants for. Over the knee boots, stockings, a short red dress, a hat, and black silk gloves, perfect and sexy, sitting in the armchair at his side of the bed,

"What is... what is this babe? Where'd you get this?" He asks as he walks towards your cross legged figure, an eyebrow of yours rising before you stand,

"Just figured I'd surprise you with a little Christmas treat since you just put him down." You tell your husband who places his hands over the hips he so loves on you while your hands resort to his shoulders, his eyebrows knit,

"Really? W- I- I love it." He mutters. You smile, turning him to sit in the chair you'd previously occupied. You hum, running your hands up his sweats clothed thighs as you kneel between them,

"I figure we have about three hours until he's needing a rocking back to sleep so... how bout we just... resume our pre-baby activities now that we’re past that six week mark." You purr, Tom's skin goosebumping as he licks his lips and nods. His eyes flick to your gloved hands as they disappear beneath his shirt and fall around the hem of his sweats. He licks his lips again, raising his hips for you as you pull them down and off,

"We did have a lot of sex pre-baby huh Tommy? You and I were quite the wild pair, isn't that why you were into me? I kept up with your stamina. And you loved... you love my pussy don't you baby?" You coo, a small whimper slipping from Tom's throat at your last question. You giggle, pushing his shirt up as a hint for him to take it off. He obliges, tugging it off and tossing it over your head as you wrap your hand around his cock, a breath caught in his throat,

"Baby-"

"Shh, god, it's been so long since I've had you in my mouth baby. God, I love our baby to death and I can't wait for us to have more, but I've missed this." You tell him. He opens his mouth to speak, but he gasps as you take him into your mouth, bobbing your head in quick succession. He groans,

"Shit... you have no idea how fast I'm gonna cum. I- fuck, I've waited so goddamn long for this." He gasps out, his head tipping back. You hum around him, reaching down to cradle his balls like you always did before your son. He presses his lips together, humming as you take him deep in your throat, gagging and pulling up to breathe every once in a while, but his cock throbs and twitches on your tongue and in your hand, his body letting itself get lost in the pleasure you give him again. You can practically hear his body scream in relief. He tugs your hat off, tossing it with his shirt so he can gather your brushed out hair into his fist, guiding you down onto his cock,

"Fuck you're so sweet. All you think about is me when it comes to sex. You care about everyone else you sexy little vixen." He groans. You hum around him, letting him guide you along as you suck and lick at his cock, stroking what you can't take in one hand, playing with his balls in the other. He watches, his cock still twitching and throbbing,

"Baby... if you planned on getting me inside you, you better pull up now." He pants out. You hum once more before sitting up, stroking his now glistening shaft,

"What, are you tryna tell me we've been diminished down to you being a one pump chump in three months?" You joke. He smiles, taking your hands to follow you in standing,

"Definitely not, I've just gotta get back into the groove of you bein all up on me." He responds, watching you lay back on the bed. Crawling over you, he smiles, leaning in to kiss you softly,

"I don't know what I did to deserve you." He mutters against your lips before reaching down between you in the hopes of dragging your panties down, but his fingers get lost in the folds of skin he feels, soft, silky and somewhat damp,

"You- y-you're wearing crotchless panties." He stutters out. You giggle,

"As funny as it sounds, it's the same pair your grandma bought me for my bridal shower. We've definitely fucked in them before but... I wanna get back into sexy us." He nods, suddenly serious,

"I know love, and we will. He's young enough that when he sleeps we can do it and he won't come barging in or we won't have to figure out how to explain to him what we're doing. Now's a good time to get back into us. Get back into me fucking wrecking you." He purrs. You giggle, rubbing up his arms and nodding, trying to wiggle out of your costume. He helps, exposing a matching set of lingerie and your signature fishnets, a new pair you'd purchased right before discovering you were pregnant, and a pair that your husband didn't get to rip off like he normally would. He hums as if the memories flood back to him too as he slips your bra off, molding your larger breasts which Tom is gentle with, unwilling to bleed you of any of your son's only meal. You reach up to run your fingers through your husband's hair as he pinches your nipples, licking his lips as his hands run down your sides and straight to the hem of your panties which he ignores. He drags your legs up around his waist as you roll your gloves down and he kneels between your legs, eyes locked on his cock as he brushes it through your folds,

"You're never gonna believe this baby." He mumbles. You raise your eyebrows, hands rested beside your head,

"I'm actually kinda nervous." He tells you with a giggle. You smile, rubbing your hands up his forearms as he leans in,

"It's just me. We've been through so fucking much together. So much sex and getting married and having a baby. You have supported me through so much and you getting nervous is adorable but so useless Tom." He nods,

"I know, but it's been a while. What if it's not as good as you remember?" Before he's even done, you hold the back of his neck, pulling him down to kiss you again, your nose nudging his as you pull back,

"I can guarantee that no matter what, it'll feel just as good. It's you and that's all that matters." You reassure. He nods, staring into your eyes for a moment before he reaches down and guides his cock to your entrance, his tip gliding through your folds with ease. You hum as he moves his hips forward, sliding into you like it was just yesterday that you did this. Your eyes close, hands placed over Tom's forearms as he lets out a hitched breath, tipping his own head back. When his head returns back to its original place, pointed down at you, he leans in to kiss you again, your hands moving to his shoulders. When he moves back, you nod, eyes flicking between his,

"Move. Fast." Is all you manage before Tom nods and places a hand over your hip, the other pressed into the bed next to you, as he draws his own hips back before snapping them back up into you. You let out a moan, Tom not letting up as he thrusts up into you, drawing your knee higher up to his hip,

"This okay?" He asks. You nod, digging your nails into his back for a moment now that your body is fully welcoming him back. Your back arches from the bed, chest pressed to Tom's for a moment before he leans down to suck one of your nipples into his mouth, hand previously placed over your hip coming up to cup your breast. His thrusts are deep and impactful, reaching deep places only he can. You moan his name, his heart fluttering as his body kicks back into its usual mode of fucking you like it used to. It's as if both of your brains are pulling books from shelves and blowing the layer of dust off, thumbing through it to find those responses you both used to kickstart within each other.

You feel like teenagers again, the only difference being the cold metal rings you both wear that brush along the ignited skin along your bodies. The room is filled with moans and gasps and skin meeting skin, your son not quite old enough for the two of you to hide noises from. Tom's hands run along your sides, brushing your arms up to stretch above your head, his hands holding yours by the elbows, hips meeting the inside of your thighs as he half kneels, half stands between your wide spread legs. You cry out his name, back arching again as he angles his hips to strike that sweet spot inside of you, your skin erupting into goosebumps,

"Fuck baby, you are so wet." He grunts, his hands having slipped to hold your wrists against the bed. You pant out noises he loves his eyes darkening a shade every few seconds as he pounds into you, body's internal boiler having its fire stoked. You're just as well off, fire lit by the movements of your husband.

He draws out after a moment, tugging your arm to put you on your hands and knees. His fingers fall around the hem of your panties, dragging them down your legs and tossing them aside leaving you in just your fishnets. Tom smiles as he slides his fingers into two of the holes, giving a tug which flexes his biceps and effectively rips the stockings in half, lying beneath you in a mess until you kick them aside. His hand leaves your skin as he walks to your dresser, pulling it open and humming as he rummages amongst the undergarments until he finds what he wants. He turns, royal blue bullet vibrator in his hand and he chuckles as you lick your lips, wanton shining in your eyes,

"Whatdya say we get back to classic us? Naughty, dirty us, huh darling?" You bite your lip as you glance over your shoulder,

"Pornstar me hasn't had as much practice these past few years. She might be a little rusty." The vibrator kicks to life and you gasp, head falling forward and legs instinctively spreading further as Tom presses the cool plastic to your clit, humming in your ear,

"I think I can wake that beast." He growls before a harsh smack rings through the air and your presented bottom is tingling with the contact of his hand. He chuckles darkly, rubbing the painfully delicious vibrating toy against your clit, your body convulsing with the movement of it. He presses back into you, resuming his pace with his free hand on your lower back. You grip the sheets in your hands, squealing and arching your back as he presses the vibrator flat to your clit,

"Fuck... baby that feels so good." You gasp, eyes closed as he pummels into you, humming in your ear,

"Take it baby." He mumbles. You drop to your shoulders, holding the vibrator so he can take hold of your hips. He hums, unruly curls falling in his face as he watches himself disappear into you, a whimper slipping from your throat as you find the perfect place for the vibrator to rest, a place only you could discover, Tom having to guess each and every time he uses it. Your body tingles, eyes closed again as your husband pounds into you, hips meeting your ass. But the skin stings again as he reaches down to spank you yet again, each cheek receiving a little bit of attention. You gasp and Tom chuckles darkly, leaning over you,

"Such a naughty girl. You love being spanked don't you baby? I'm glad he's young enough not to hear us, we don't have to be quiet, heaven forbid we traumatize our kids letting them hear how kinky their mummy is."

"Daddy's worse." You quickly imply. He grunts,

"Mummy makes him that way. This fucking, body." He punctuates with another smack to your butt which brings out a loud cry, your body jolting forward on the vibrator which erupts it into goosebumps,

"Fuck that's good." You moan as one of Tom's hands slips up to your shoulder, pulling you back on him,

"Fuck you're so wet. Cum for me baby." He demands. You press your lips together,

"I fucking hate how fast you can get me to cum. You're the only man I've been with that has me in the palm of his hand." You curse, listening to Tom chuckle,

"That's ‘cause it isn't about the size, it's how you wield it. The other men you were with thought because they were somewhat well endowed, they could suck. I'm of decent size and I know how to use it." He growls in your ear, reaching down to squeeze your breast carefully. You hum, rubbing the vibrator over your clit, the fire in your belly being stoked the longer Tom continues. You grasp the sheets in your hand,

"Fuck Tom, I'm gonna cum." You tell him. He hums again,

"Cum for me. Fuck... with the baby it's impossible to get you to cum anymore."

"I'm gonna cum." You reassure him. He nods, licking his lips as he watches you, your legs spreading even further as you chase your high. The feeling of Tom inside of you for the first time in months, the vibrator pressed against your throbbing clit has you on cloud nine. Your head falls back, legs shaking like they always did when Tom continued through your orgasm. You're grateful your son is young enough to not be woken, understand what's going on as you cry out, orgasm raking over your body. Your back arches, squeal that transforms into a moan slipping from your lips and into the sheets below you. Tom chuckles darkly, pounding into you harder to reach his own climax.

Just before he does, he draws out, moaning as he spills onto your lower back as you click your vibrator off. Humming and reaching down to find his boxers, Tom towels you off with them, tossing them aside and collapsing beside you as you flop onto your side. Tom sighs, binding his arm around your shoulders,

"That was good. You did good." He praises, rubbing his thumb over your shoulder. You snuggle into him,

“I’m glad you think so. With my… postpartum, sometimes I’m afraid you won’t love me anymore or I’m not doing good enough to keep you pleased.” You admit. Tom clicks his tongue, moving to crawl over you,

“Baby, I don’t stay for the sex. I married you because I love you and sure, at the beginning of our relationship, I was into you for the independence. I could travel the world for work and you stayed here and you were okay, but now that we’ve had the baby, now that you need me because of your postpartum, I’m here because I can be your rock. It isn’t always about how we are apart, but how we are together. And if your emotions, your mental health is takin a blow, I can be here for you.” He tells you. You stroke up his arms, smiling as he leans in to kiss you,

“You’re the sweetest.” You mutter. He smiles back,

“I love you Mrs. Claus.”

“I love you too Santa.” There’s a light that clicks on in his eyes at the name as if he realizes something. He gasps,

“Shit, I never thought about that. My dad played Santa when we were younger. When we have more kids, I could totally do it.” He explains, excitement laced in his voice. You giggle,

“Your belly isn’t big enough.”

“Babe… that’s why they make stuffing. I could do it.” He deadpans. You hum, nodding and pulling him down for another kiss,

“Alright stud, lets-” A cry breaks through the air, Tom staring down at you for a moment before he giggles,

“Guess baby wants some attention now. So much for your three hours.” He mutters as he stands, pulling his sweats on as you shrug into your robe, following Tom into the nursery. You hum as he lifts your baby from the crib, laying him against his shoulder. You smile, reaching up to brush down the baby’s unruly dark hair, similar to his father’s in the morning. You cock your head,

“Even though I sometimes have my lows, you’re worth it baby. You and your daddy.” You tell Tom and your son. Tom smiles as he turns to look over at you,

“We appreciate you more than you’ll ever know pretty girl.” He coos, cradling your son in one arm as he pulls you into the other, letting your press your hand over his arm to steady your baby boy,

“And I love you both more than anything in this world. I’ll always support you because you gave me this, and there is nothing more rewarding than him.” Tom reassures. You smile wider, leaning up to kiss him softly, laying your head over his shoulder,

“I love you too baby. You two are my Christmas presents.” You mutter. He kisses your forehead, squeezing you into his side, your baby gurgling and cooing up at you both. And despite Tom’s true gift to you come Christmas morning, your baby boy which Tom gifted you, is the best thing that ever happened to you despite the postpartum. And Tom is second best, your life partner and the most caring, selfless man you know, willing to do whatever he needs to ensure you and your son are safe, happy, and healthy. For the rest of his life.

Permanent Taglist: @embrace-themagic @delicioustommy @spiderman-n @winters-beauty @smexylemony @lolabean1998 @musiclover1263 @xxtomxo @chillinjules @sincerelyfan @justkeepdreaminganddreaming @spnobsessedmemes @hazmyheart @saltysebastianstan @petty-geminii @motherhyuckerdude @counting-eyerolls @princezzariel @martinimendes @happytappy02 @lilya-petrichor @20coldhearts @random-fandomer @kalliria @im-tajah @celinelopez3 @itsjusttor @popluckbih @obsidianspidey @takemetooneverlanddd @marshyrebelcloud @zabdisamor @marvelismylifffe @loveylangdon @inlovewithmobtom @tsh-darling @bangtan-serendipity @peterbeterbarker @bonfirelohve @meg-holland @localfangirlx @turtlee-says-rawr @sadbitchfangirl @th0ttie4tommy @w-jhxk-yj @thatweirdominic @mytonycinematicuniverse @chances-and-miracles @averyfosterthoughts @liberty01 @hatterripper31 @agirlwithpointlessideas @cassiopeiaskies

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thedreammweaver · 4 years

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When I Hear Those Reindeer Paws I’m Gonna Break The Law Chapter 6 (The Santa Clause 1 Gotham au, Santa!Oswald, head elf!Zsasz)

Chapter 5 Chapter 7

Warnings: rude comments regarding weight

Oswald was very much miffed to be awoken by his phone ringing. He reached a hand out of the covers to fumble on his nightstand until he located his phone and opened it “What?” He asked harshly.

“Hey, Oswald, this is Jim.”

Oswald immediately forced a friendlier tone “Ah, Jim! My old friend, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Lee told me that your mother told her something very concerning and I want you both down at the station.”

“Uhh..sure. We’ll be there in an hour or so.”

“Good..” Jim mutter Ed hanging up. Oswald rolled his eyes and tossed his phone to the side of the bed. He wasn’t quite ready to be seen by his worst enemy in his current portly state.

As Oswald hobbled into the GCPD, Gertrud by his side, he hoped his face wasn’t turning red as everyone was staring at him. He pushed through the embarrassment he was feeling and just looked for Jim. He didn’t have to look long as Jim was walking towards him. Of course when he got a good look at Oswald he had something to say “Jesus, Selina said you’d ballooned but I didn’t expect-“

“Can we get on with this?” Oswald interrupted, determined to shift the focus off of his appearance at any cost. “...Sure. Follow me..” Jim lead Oswald and Gertrud up to his desk. Unfortunately Bullock was at his desk right across from Jim, Oswald heard him stifling laughter. Oswald ignored him, turning his attention to Jim “What is this about?”

“Well...” Jim was too distracted “First off, what is this about?” He asked gesturing to Oswald’s person. Oswald leaned on his cane impatiently “Your wife told me it’s a metabolism thing...” he said through gritted teeth. “Whatever...So Lee told me that Gertrud told her that...you’re...Santa Claus.”

Gertrud scoffed “I was kidding! I didn’t think she was listening to me, I was just trying to get her attention.”

Jim got serious, or more serious than usual “Mrs. Cobblepot you can tell us if there’s something going on, this is a safe place.”

Gertrud’s brow furrowed “Something going on..I don’t understand??”

Jim sighed “We’re concerned that there is some sort of gaslighting, manipulation, or elder abuse occurring in your household.”

“Abuse??” Oswald was appalled at the inference.

“Elder???” Gertrud was equally appalled.

Jim cleared his throat, addressing Oswald “What I think is happening is your mother is suffering from some sort of mental illness and you’re obviously falling apart so-“ Jim was gesturing to Oswald’s body again which prompted Oswald to interrupt “I don’t think my weight has anything to do with this! And I am not ‘falling apart’.”

“You look like the pillsbury doughboy.” Harvey interjected, still stifling laughter.

Oswald looked Harvey up and down “Ah, yes, because you have so much room to talk.”

Harvey’s face fell “You know what, it suits me and you- you look- shut up!” He fumbled, before getting up from his desk and storming off. “Anyways..” Jim continued “I think that you’re manipulating your sick mother to feel like you’re in control of something when it’s very apparent you’re spiraling.”

“I have heard some ridiculous claims from you, Jim, but this is by far the most-“ Jim took Oswald by the arm and lead him over to the side. “Look, whatever this,” Jim gestured to Oswald’s stomach “is, it’s obviously feeding your mother’s delusions so lose a little weight, get your mom a therapist, and get your hair back to normal or I’m gonna assume you’re gaslighting your sick mother as some kind of power trip, got it?”

“I was planning on losing the weight for your information.” Oswald snapped in a snotty tone. He grabbed his mother’s hand and started to lead her out of the precinct. She cast one last look at Jim “Hülye kibaszott disznó...” she hissed under her breath.

Oswald angrily stared into the duck pond at the park. Birds often calmed him but he was more wound up than usual, so wound up he almost didn’t notice Ed coming up beside him. “Hey, Ozzie..” Ed wasn’t looking at him, he sounded upset too. Oswald was trying not to freeze up, he had not mentally prepared himself to be confronted with his love. “Eddie, how nice to run into you here.”

“Yeah..” Ed was staring into the pond absently.

“....How are things with Isabella?”

“We broke up.”

Oswald felt his spirits being rapidly lifted “Oh??”

“And...she left Gotham.”

There were fireworks and angelic choirs going off in Oswald’s mind “How awful.” his tone gave away the fact he meant how wonderful but Ed didn’t seem to notice. He sighed, kicking at the rocks on the ground “I just needed to get out for a while..” he was about to continue walking around the park when he stopped to actually look at Oswald. Oswald was fearing what would come out of Ed’s mouth “Did you do something different with your hair?”

“Umm...yes?”

“It looks nice..” Ed mumbled before walking away. Oswald felt his face going scarlet.

Oswald was so elated by the revelation that Ed was single he’d completely forgotten about all the Santa stuff. That was until he got home and to his study. There was a red box with gold trim on his desk with a letter on it. He tilted his head as he set his cane aside and picked up the letter, opening it. ‘Don’t forget to check it twice!- Zsasz’ the letter red. Oswald nervously opened the box, inside was what looked to be a list, names written in beautiful calligraphy. As Oswald went to pull it out he realized he couldn’t see the bottom of the box and the list just kept coming. Oswald stubbornly shoved the list back into the box along with the letter and closed it, shoving it onto a shelf to forget about it, he had other things to focus on now.

#oswald cobblepot #gertrud kapelput #gotham au #the Santa clause au

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simplyannamazing · 4 years

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F I L I P I N O

Christmas Traditions

25 December 2020

Tradities — Traditions — Tradisyon —

in The Philippines starts very early. Literally, on the first day of September, you will already hear Gary V’s “Pasko na Sinta ko” or José Mari Chan’s “Christmas in our Hearts” belting their songs on the radios and in the malls.

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First let me tell you some facts about my country. We were a colony of the Spanish from 16th-19th century. We were liberated from Spanish rule on June 12, 1898. Then the Americans came from 1898 to 1946. We were finally independent as a nation on July 4, 1946.

Since our country is a mix of Spanish and American culture we celebrate the season in a unique way. It is not clear why Christmas celebrations start so early in the country as it hasn’t always been this way. But we loved it anyway and we passed it on through generations.

Now let me walk you down the culture scene of my favorite holiday of the year ... All the wonderful, magical and nostalgic memoirs of CHRISTMAS!

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Simbang Gabi / Misa de Gallo

Traditionally, the feast starts with the nine-day novena called Simbang Gabi (dawn mass) or Misa de Gallo – literally called Rooster Mass from 16th - 24th December, when a midnight mass is held.

I miss these foods... Puto Bumbong, Bibingka and in the middle Palitaw! This photo was taken from one of my visits to Via Mare!

Christmas On Display

One of my fondest childhood memory was going to Araneta Center to visit “Christmas On Display”. Every year, COD Department Store staged this narrative and themed spectacle. A grand display of life-size moving mannequins, with colorful lights and flashy ornaments. It’s WONDERFUL & MAGICAL ...

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Christmas Lights

On every street, mall ... practically everywhere. There’s one street in my hometown of Mandaluyong where virtually every house is turned into a milkyway of fairy lights!

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GIFT-GIVING

This is one of the best things I’ve learned from my half-sister Ate Luz. She makes everyone feel happy, thrilled and excited with every gift opened on this day. She’s a living Mrs Santa Claus!

My Ate inspired me to be generous and to do something special for everyone. I remember when I was in college, I used to save my school allowances and buy gifts to all my nieces and nephews. Then I will wrap it all up myself. For me the true meaning of gift giving isn’t extravagance, it’s sentimentality.

Foto credit: my husband took the photo with some of my wrapped gifts this year ...

FAMILY

The one thing I truly miss now is getting together as a family to celebrate the feast and commemorate the birth of Christ.

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Since last year my father is living in Batangas with my brother and his partner Arnie. The family went to visit them on the 20th of December this year!

CHRISTMAS

Don’t forget ... that “The gift of Jesus is good news for everyone. No matter where on earth you call home, Jesus’ birth is God’s offer of love and peace to you. And all who find new life in Christ, from every tribe and language and people and nation will one day celebrate God’s glory forever and ever (Revelation 5:9)”.

Tradisyon

Are meant to be personal ... It’s building memories for your family. And what you do in your household is up to you and no one else’s business.

#christmas tradition #simbang gabi #puro bumbong #YouTube #momentum live mnl #gift-giving #wikipédia #family is everything #brain injury #Christmas is love #Batangas #palitaw #bibingka #C.O.D.#our daily bread #Christmas massage

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aion-rsa · 4 years

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The 25 Best SNL Holiday Sketches

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

The holidays are a special time around 30 Rock. While tourists flock to see the towering Christmas tree, the Saturday Night Live writers room is busy thinking of holiday sketches you’ll reminisce about as you put up the stockings for years to come. Some of SNL’s all-time great sketches illustrate the best of the holiday spirit or lack thereof as show’s biggest stars often shined the brightest just before the New Year.

From unlikely Santas to unorthodox gift-giving, we’re looking at 25 of our favorite Saturday Night Live holiday sketches. We’ll be going in chronological order here. There is a big dose of modern stuff in there, but what can I say? The show might be more miss than hit these days, but they really hit it out of the park year after year with the Christmas sketches.

Santi-Wrap (1976)

Very early in the show’s run, we get this classic where an adult woman (Laraine Newman) is all about sitting on Santa’s lap like when she was a little kid. The initial laugh is that before sitting down, she puts pieces of toilet paper on Santa’s leg for protection, like one would do in a public bathroom. Dan Aykroyd, her companion on this trip, seems shocked by this. Not that she’s trying to protect herself from germs, but because she’s not going far enough!

Suddenly, it turns out to be a commercial for Santi-Wrap, a festive and plasticky take on toilet seat covers. Not only do those two sell the product concept so well, but John Belushi as the mall Santa pushes it further by coming off as a complete disaster of a man who is probably riddled with disease.

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One of the show’s all-time best line deliveries is Belushi’s drunken, “Ho ho ho…” which has both defiant gusto and the sense that he’s seconds away from vomiting all over himself.

Mr. Robinson’s Christmas (1984)

Saturday Night Live has been a stepping stone to superstardom ever since Chevy Chase became a household name during its first season. In the 80s, Eddie Murphy’s recurring roles on SNL helped raise his profile as he eventually became one of, if not the biggest star of the decade. It was around Christmas time when Murphy’s spin on Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood became one of the sketches that came to define his tenure at Studio 8H.

Mr. Robinson’s neighborhood isn’t quite as nice as Mister Rogers’ but at Christmas time you have to make the best with what you have. Mr. Robinson was able to do that with a chunk of lettuce and a headless doll and Murphy was able to make the most of every opportunity he had on SNL.

It’s a Wonderful Life: The Lost Ending (1986)

If you’ve seen the 1946 American Christmas classic It’s A Wonderful Life, odds are you’ve been inspired by its heart-warming ending. Thanks to SNL and host William Shatner, we now have footage of the “fabled” lost ending to Frank Capra’s Christmas epic and it’s anything but heartwarming. Rather than end the film with everyone coming to George Bailey’s aid in his time of need and celebrating his lifetime of selflessness and kindness, it decides to give Mr. Potter a fate more explicit than being doomed to failure and loneliness. Phil Hartman pops in as Uncle Billy and not only remembers what happened to the missing money, but knows exactly who has it!

Dana Carvey makes the sketch as a George Bailey hell-bent on revenge. It just wouldn’t be Christmas without seeing him give Mr. Potter a beat down alongside his bloodthirsty loved ones.

Master Thespian Plays Santa Claus (1987)

Jon Lovitz’s characters were usually very hammy by design. Whether he was a pathological liar or the Devil himself, he always went to 11. One of his better recurring characters was Master Thespian, a scene-chewing Shakespearean actor who takes himself and his roles far too seriously.

In this installment, he would be playing the role of a mall Santa Claus.

Thespian doesn’t seem to have heard of Santa, but he’s down for the part. Finding out that there’s no actual script, he improvises and figures out the character via making mistakes and getting scolded by the Macy’s manager (played by Phil Hartman, choosing to base his performance on Frank Nelson because why not). To his surprise, Santa Claus actually LIKES children! These are notes a performer needs to know, man!

Seeing him play off the kids and Hartman is a blast. Speaking of which, one of the better gags is a fart joke that somehow proves how great an actor Master Thespian truly is. THANK YOUUUUUU!

Hanukkah Harry (1989)

Santa Claus (Phil Hartman) is violently ill with the flu, so it seems Christmas might be cancelled. Luckily, there is one man capable of fulfilling his obligations through the same kind of holiday magic. Hanukkah Harry (Jon Lovitz), Santa’s Jewish counterpart, is called in to help.

At its core, it’s a lengthy sketch about Jewish jokes and how lame Hanukkah is outside of it lasting eight days. Springing off of that, it actually makes for a really good, if a little touching, holiday story. There are definite laughs in there, but what was created to be a parody hits a little too close and becomes a genuine gem celebrating both holidays and the spirit of togetherness.

“On Moishe! On Herschel! On Schlomo!”

Motivational Santa (1993)

What started as a pep talk for troubled teens turned into Chris Farley’s iconic recurring character. Matt Foley, the thrice-divorced, sweaty, overweight man who lived in a van down by the river, crashed into our living rooms in 1993 and remained a fixture on SNL until Farley was fired from the show in 1995.

Sometimes a sketch is so successful that the writers are almost forced to bring one or more of its characters around again and Matt Foley was no exception. In one of the funnier times Matt Foley returned, he was hired to spread Christmas cheer as a motivational mall Santa, offering up this gem:

“‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the van Your ol’ buddy Matt fell asleep on the can. His children were nestled two time zones away, With his first wife and her husband, in sunny L.A. Matt woke up and realized with a chill and a quiver That he was living in a van down by the river!“

Though many of the same jokes and physical gags are recycled, Farley’s effort, from the painfully high pitch of his voice to crashing down the chimney, earns the Motivational Santa a place in SNL Christmas lore.

Adam Sandler’s Hanukkah Song (1994)

Yes, we’ve heard Adam Sandler’s “The Hanukkah Song” a million times over, but we shouldn’t let that cloud our judgement. It’s one of the first clips that pops into your head when you think “SNL Holiday Sketches” and it will go down as a landmark moment when the history of “Weekend Update” is written 200 years from now. Sandler didn’t use his time to evoke images of being a Jew at Christmas, rather he chose to praise the Festival of Lights and name-drop all the famous people who celebrate it. Since debuting the song in 1994, Sandler’s updated it for his comedy albums and standup routine and given Jewish kids something other than “The Dreidel Song” to belt during during the holidays. Sandler’s clever, original moment is about as influential as it gets for any not-ready-for-prime time player.

It did lead to the movie Eight Crazy Nights, so it isn’t free from sin.

TV Funhouse: Fun with Real Audio (1997)

It’s rare for SNL to get poignant, but here’s a fantastic example. In this animated short, Jesus Christ returns to Earth and spends the first opening minutes being ignored and shoved into the background for disagreeing with televangelists who use his name to line their pockets with donations or to justify their hatred of homosexuals. These bits are, of course, animated over actual audio of said real life sociopaths. Jesus is able to give them their just desserts with his divine magic, but it bums him out.

Walking the city streets, unnoticed by the public at large, Jesus watches Christmas-themed TV through a store window and is disappointed with what he sees. That is, until he comes across Linus’ speech at the end of A Charlie Brown Christmas and we get a final moment that’s adorable, uplifting, and pretty hilarious.

NPR’S Delicious Dish: Schweddy Balls (1998)

The dry, NPR-host banter between Ana Gasteyer’s Margaret Jo McCullen — who cheerfully admits that she leaves tap water and rice out for Santa because “Christmas foods really wreak havoc on the ol’ digestive system” — and Molly Shannon’s Teri Rialto as they discuss delectable Yuletide “balls” with Alec Baldwin’s Pete Schweddy is a can’t-miss skit. The trio makes monotone an art form, while remaining dedicated to the naivety of the characters involved. (In response to Alec Baldwin’s, “But the thing I most like to bring out this time of year are my balls,” their faces barely twitch.) It’s double entendre at its finest, and never fails to leave me in stitches.

Pete Schweddy returned in another episode where he introduced the women to his hotdogs, but having them show so much interest in putting his wiener in their mouths was a little too easy a joke to pull off.

I Wish It Was Christmas Today (2000-the heat death of the universe)

On one December episode, there was a short segment of Horatio Sanz, Jimmy Fallon, Chris Kattan, and Tracy Morgan playing a catchy, albeit incredibly stupid song about Christmas being on the way. Sanz played a skinny guitar while singing, Fallon occasionally pressed an elephant noise button on the keyboard, Kattan held the keyboard while shaking his head, and Morgan danced with a look on his face like he got dragged on stage against his will. It was silly and would have probably been forgotten soon after.

Instead, they returned a week later and insisted on playing it again despite being explicitly told not to. Soon they would start playing it during non-December months to show Christmas’ superiority over other holidays. After Simon Cowell insulted the group, he sheepishly agreed that he wanted to join them and broke out some maracas. One year, when Sanz was the only one left in the cast, he replaced his buddies with Fozzie Bear, Gonzo, and Animal while Kermit the Frog danced in a way that you have to wonder if a Muppet is capable of snorting coke.

The song still gets brought out now and then, usually on Fallon’s show. It’s even been covered by Julian Casablancas and Cheap Trick of all people!

They did sing a completely different Christmas song one time, but nobody cared.

Glengarry Glen Elf: Christmas Motivation (2005)

Alec Baldwin seems to be the go-to host for classic Christmas sketches. Playing on his iconic Glengarry Glen Ross character Blake, Baldwin (in a way) reprises the role as 615-year-old “elf from the home office” sent to straighten out the subpar work of Santa’s elves. There couldn’t have been a more perfect break in character than when Baldwin says “Always Be Closing” instead of “Always Be Cobbling” as scripted. It’s a slip-up that makes for a perfect holiday sketch, full of deep-bellied laughs.

TV Funhouse: Christmastime for the Jews (2005)

Not only is the witty “Christmas for the Jews” written by comedy legend Robert Smigel, but it’s sung by David Letterman’s Christmas angel Darlene Love. In “Christmas for the Jews,” the characters see “Fiddler on the Roof,” grab an early dinner, and enjoy dreamland Daily Show reruns. It’s an intriguing and catchy look at the other side of the Christmas season, complete with a very Rankin-Bass animation style.

Digital Short: Dick in a Box (2006)

Justin Timberlake is one of the most entertaining, versatile hosts that SNL has been gifted. A member of their prestigious Five-Timers Club, “Dick in a Box” is Timberlake’s most memorable sketch, filled with skeevy, disgusting come-ons from Andy Samberg and Timberlake, which has been viewed just millions and millions of times. In 2006, Timberlake had already impressed critics and viewers alike with his acting range in Alpha Dog, but his comedic turns on SNL solidified him as an actor. Timberlake has done a lot of impressive things in his time as an entertainer, but there are few more enjoyable (or laughable) than “Dick in a Box.”

These two R&B weirdos would return later on to sleep with each other’s moms as reciprocated Mother’s Day presents and later swear that being in a two-guy/one-girl three-way isn’t considered gay.

John Malkovich Reads ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas (2008)

As quipped by the man himself, no one emits Christmas spirit quite like John Malkovich. This admission yields the self-reflexive irony of Malkovich reading “The Night Before Christmas” to the children of SNL’s staff. Malkovich, pausing during his reading of the holiday classic, asks the children about the suicide rate rising during the holidays, talking about how shooting a home invader in California is “perfectly legal,” musing about how the tonnage of Santa’s sleigh and reindeer would (scientifically speaking) burst into flames, how in Portugal their version of Saint Nicholas steals children’s toes, as well as reciting the gem: “You know what they say about hopes; they’re what we cling to when reality has left us nothing else.” If you’re in a lighthearted Christmas mood, Malkovich’s monologue is certainly one to enjoy.

Stefon on Holiday Travel (2010)

Bill Hader was highly respected for his versatility and range during his time at SNL, but it was his improvisational skills that turned a Weekend Update bit into a must-see recurring segment. Stefon, likely the defining character for SNL during the 2010s thus far, informed New Yorkers and tourists alike of the city’s hottest nightclubs – with Hader almost always breaking down in laughter as his cue cards were frequently changed from the rehearsal to throw him off.

Stefon knew how to get weird and you can imagine he’d save some fun things for the a “classic New York holiday.” Make sure to check out the Lower, Lower East Side dump hosted by Tranderson Cooper or find a club with the right amount of Puerto Rican Screeches or Gay Aladdins. Just don’t run over the Human Parking Cones.

Stefon would return with more Christmastime insight three years later, where he’d discuss a club called [loud Tauntaun noises], founded by Jewish cartoon character Menorah the Explorer.

Under-Underground Crunkmas Karnival (2010)

Good God, I wish there were more Under-Underground Records sketches. As a parody of the Gathering of the Juggalos, we’d regularly see DJ Supersoak (Jason Sudeikis) and Lil Blaster (Nasim Pedrad) excitedly talk up huge concert events that are needlessly violent and inexplicable in their randomness. For instance, there’s the Crunkmas Karnival, which features such musical acts as Dump, Boys II Dicks, Scrotum Fire, and…Third Eye Blind for some reason.

It’s just a bunch of loud humor that goes back and forth between being stupidly hardcore and being meekly out of left field. Yes, you can go check out a “dong tug-of-war,” but you can also see a special 2D screening of the Owls of Ga’hoole or meet Spaceballs star Pizza the Hut. Not to mention the return of their most fondly remembered running gag, the endless undying and dying of Ass Dan.

This Christmas-based event will take place in February. Sounds about right.

Ornaments (2011)

Every now and then, SNL will do a sketch towards the end of the show where the guest will talk about whichever holiday is coming up and awkwardly go into one of the aspects of it, such as Easter eggs or Halloween candy. In this instance, it’s Steve Buscemi unloading a box of Christmas ornaments and commenting on each one. All the while, Kristen Wiig plays Sheila, his girlfriend who appears to be more than a little off and doesn’t quite grasp tree decorating.

Buscemi’s descriptions range from delightful non-humor to outlandish and disturbing. He might make an intentionally lame joke about one ornament before holding up another and matter-of-factly letting you know that, “I put this one up my butt.”

And somehow he’s still the straight man in this bit.

You’re a Rat Bastard Charlie Brown (2012)

This sketch is centered on Bill Hader playing Al Pacino, playing Charlie Brown. The rest of the cast turns out bang-up impressions as well: Jason Sudeikis playing Philip Seymour Hoffman playing Pigpen, Kate McKinnon as Edie Falco playing Lucy (as Charlie Brown’s drug peddling therapist, causing a holiday-blues Charlie to say, “Oh yeah…I want something to take me sky high!”), Martin Short playing Larry David playing Linus, Taran Killam doing Michael Keaton as Schroeder, and Cecily Strong as Fran Drescher as Charlie Brown’s mother, all performed in front of a baffled childhood audience.

For anyone who grew up watching Charlie Brown and Co., watching Bill Hader/Al Pacino/Charlie Brown unleash the expletive-laden “You’re gonna hold that f***ing football?!” towards Kate McKinnion/Edie Falco/Lucy, and saying, “Ow, you bitch!” after she pulls it away is absolutely to die for.

Jebidiah Atkinson on Holiday Movies (2013)

For a time, Taran Killam played Jebidiah Atkinson, a Weekend Update character based on how an old newspaper editorial was discovered that panned Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address. Atkinson, somehow still alive, would appear and read review snippets about other big speeches he hated.

One of his return appearances had him discuss holiday specials and movies. Every single one of them he hates. Every single one of them gets roasted. His vicious energy is so over-the-top that the good jokes land and the bad jokes still get a laugh from the misplaced confidence. Over these several minutes, he screams about how much of a depressing bore A Charlie Brown Christmas is, how the Grinch stole a half hour of his life, and how every time they play It’s a Wonderful Life, an angel blows its brains out.

This one is admittedly a bit dated with its biggest joke, where his distaste for Snoopy is so great that he wishes Family Guy killed him off instead of Brian. The horror from the audience still makes it worth it.

St. Joseph’s Christmas Mass Spectacular (2014)

Ah, Christmas Mass. The drum solo for every childhood during Christmas time. It’s uncomfortable and especially boring. Ergo, liven it up by framing it as a big, in-your-face event via what amounts to a monster truck rally commercial!

It’s a brilliant use of contrast. Take an event that is so mundane with so many familiar and shared experiences and treat it like it’s some extreme thing. The familiarity of the pastor making corny jokes that get the most minor of laughs is treated like a once-in-a-lifetime event. It shines a light on the weird tics of the prominent people you see at church and feels amazingly universal.

The SNL cast is fantastic here, but the MVP is Cecily Strong as the middle-age woman who is way into doing a reading in the loudest, most overly articulate speaking voice possible.

Sump’N Claus (2014)

Getting gifts from Santa Claus is great and all, but when you grow up, you realize how hard it truly is to be nice all year round. Luckily, there’s an alternative. Introduced via an extremely catchy song, we meet Sump’n Claus (Keenan Thompson), a pimp-like offshoot of Santa who not only used to work for St. Nick, but also appears to have some dirt on him.

Sump’n Claus sings several verses about people who have had breakdowns and would be thrown onto the naughty list. Sump’n Claus doesn’t care about that. You be you. Every December, he’ll still be there to hand you an envelope full of twenties and fifties. He’s the holiday mascot for adults, basically.

One of the highlights is how he mentions that Santa is not your friend as friends don’t watch you while you’re sleeping.

The Christmas Candle (2016)

Christmas has been saved by many different things: ghosts who see through time, an angel trying to earn his wings, a reindeer’s glowing nose, New Yorkers singing “Santa Claus is Coming to Town,” and so on. Then again, sometimes you need a savior for something with lower stakes.

In the form of a mid-1990s all ladies group that gives me kind of a Celine Dion vibe, we’re given a wonderful song that starts with the tale of a woman who had to get a coworker a gift for Secret Santa. She found an old peach candle in her closet and just gave her that. The second verse is a similar situation where not only is a peach candle given as a throwaway gift to an acquaintance, but it’s THE SAME candle. Yes, somehow this one peach candle is re-gifted across the globe through latter December by women and gay men who couldn’t be bothered to put thought into their presents.

Truly a miracle.

First Impression (2018)

Beck Bennett plays a guy about to finally meet his girlfriend’s (Melissa Villaseñor) parents and he’s nervous as hell. She assures him that he’ll be fine, but he really wants to impress them. Sure enough, he tries to impress them in the weirdest way by hiding somewhere in the house and speaking in a high-pitched voice in order to dare them to find him. Her parents (Jason Momoa and Heidi Gardner) are notably confused, as is she.

It’s already a strange and silly bit, but Jason Momoa shifts it into gear by suddenly being COMPLETELY into it. Removing his jacket with purpose, Momoa excitedly starts searching the house for this guy. The fact that Momoa is playing an overweight 60-year-old man is enough of a novelty, but he brings this oddball zest to the role as he starts to literally tear the home to pieces in order to get a look at his daughter’s elusive boyfriend.

The boyfriend’s plans here are both overly complicated and half-baked, culminating in an ending that’s as happy as it’s inexplicable and off-putting.

North Pole News Report (2019)

When Eddie Murphy returned to SNL, there was much fanfare. A completely solid episode, it admittedly spent too much of its runtime revisiting his old recurring classics like Mr. Robinson, Gumby, and Velvet Jones. The final sketch of the night goes full blast with his manic energy as he plays an elf eyewitness on the elf news, screaming bloody murder about a horrible tragedy. Mikey Day is reporter Donny Chestnut, looking at the destruction of a toy factory. As he tries to make heads or tails of what’s going on, Murphy bursts onto the scene, screaming about a polar bear attacking the elves and eating them like Skittles. And just screaming in general.

The best line comes from the elf (who keeps declaring, “IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT MY NAME IS!”) bringing over one of the survivors, and noting that, “This white, teenage elf girl ran out here, straight up to me – a black elf in sweatpants – and asked me to keep her safe. That’s how bad it is!” Despite this elf being right about the situation, Donny Chestnut keeps trying to sideline him for being increasingly erratic about Santa’s potential role in the slaughter and what it means for Christmas. Even as he trips over some of his lines, Eddie Murphy is so damn precious here.

AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!

December to Remember Car Commercial (2020)

It might be in bad form to include a sketch from this very year, but man, this joke is not only long overdue, but the acting is top notch. Heidi Gardner’s barely repressed rage is something special.

You’ve seen the commercial a million times. It’s Christmas morning and someone reveals a brand new car to a loved one. As part of Lexus’ December to Remember, Beck Bennett reveals a brand new Lexus with a giant bow to his wife (Gardner) and their son (Timothée Chalamet). What initially appears as shock turns out to be fury and confusion over what is a selfish and short-sighted decision. Buying a car is a huge deal and isn’t something you don’t tell your significant other. More than that, Bennett’s character hasn’t been employed for about a year and a half and has no way of affording such a thing. The thread is pulled away, unraveling both how much of an idiot he is and how doomed their family life happens to be.

Then neighbor Mikey Day shows up and it hits another level. Beck Bennett is the expert at playing guys with misplaced confidence who haven’t come close to thinking things through.

The post The 25 Best SNL Holiday Sketches appeared first on Den of Geek.

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ultralazycreatorfan · 5 years

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Kotlc Actor/Actress Au... Heacaons...... Part 2.... yeah

- Stina Heck’s actress is really sweet but is also such a meme.

- She makes so many facial expressions. You could honestly watch her all day and she probably wouldn’t make the exact same one twice.

- She’s also best friends with Dex’s actor.

- They get teased a lot for being ‘a thing’ but they constantly deny it with the “we’re just friends!!” line.

- The both of them have a lot of fun filming their fight scenes because they get really into it.

- Marella’s actress (much like Stina’s) will laugh at nearly everything, but she will also speak up if need be.

- You don’t get away with any sort of shit in her presence.

- Also she’s such a mom friend. Her arms are always open and welcoming, however, again, do not be a dumbass.

- Oh and also she owns a pet snake. It’s name is Lil’ Lushberry J. Doofinsmurts Jr. lll. (Lushberry for short)

- Lord Cassius’ actor makes too many dad jokes.

- He’s also oddly serious and it’s a weird mix, but it suits him.

- Alvar’s actor is kind of the same way, but with more seriousness. One could say he’s more professional than everyone.

- Well... that is until it’s time for the interviews. The audience (even though he’s a really nice guy) boos him because he plays the Bastard(TM)

- During those he’ll start fake crying and hiding or he’ll go full on Alvar Vacker Mode.

- Once Umber’s actress, while they were waiting for the first fight scene in Flashback to be called to action, started doing the whip and nae nae.

- Honestly, it was iconic and nobody can deny it.

- Kesler’s actor is Dex’s actor’s real dad and he also has a Irish accent.

- He and Juline’s actress are good friends from multiple other movies they’ve done together (hilariously they also normally play a couple).

- The triplets are all insane and related in real life.

- I mean, they don’t really even act.

- They just be themselves and it works perfectly.

- Somehow they hold the most bloopers of the background characters though.

- Jensi’s actor is missing out on a ton for pretty much the same reason’s as Dex’s actor - medical stuff.

- He’s an absolute sweetheart and is super quiet and pure and everyone loves him to pieces.

- Once he sent a photo of him with an NG tube in his nose, pretending like it was snot. He was also ‘freaking out’ about it and even after 11 months everyone still sends photos of random things coming out of their nose pretending it’s snot and making a huge deal about it.

- He uses the platform he has to spread awareness about diseases/sicknesses/lots of health things that aren’t normally spoken about.

- He also breaks a ton of stereotypes and shows that it’s not weird to have certain medical needs and what not.

- Goal squad on set and off set: Keefe’s actor, Dex’s actor, Stina’s actress, Jensi’s actor, and Marella’s actress.

- They complain (mostly through a group chat) about their characters (who they call their “poor precious babies”) not getting enough screen time while Keefe’s actor, who is very much dating Tam’s actor, complains about having to be love sick over a girl - his good friend nonetheless.

- Of course they are all joking, but are they really?

- “YOU EMO SALT BUCKET” is an inside joke.

- Also, “O m GEE, Becky do the ma t h.”

- There is a video of Tam’s actor getting pushed around in one of those fancy hotel things that carry your luggage while looking very much dead and straight faced while Keefe’s actor pushes him around directing the camera to their room like one of the fancy hotel staff.

- “Ma’am, are you sure this is your luggage? Well, alright then. Right this way please.”

- Councilor Emery’s actor acts just like Councilor Emery with less authority....

- Bronte’s actor meanwhile is - yes, a grumpy middle aged man - but also such a pure and chill dude.

- Like, you’re intimidated at first, but then you get to know him and he just has a great personality.

- Alden’s actor is one of the many dads on set.

- But he’s the homework-helping dad primarily. Also the “no reason to worry” dad.

- Yes, he has unironically adopted that saying.

- Della’s actress is a meme however only on the occasion.

- Either it’s professional (71% of the time) or meme (30% of the time).

- Yes you read that correctly. Her words, not mine.

- She’s kind of like that way too relaxed and chill mom who almost acts more like a really cool aunt.

- Expensive queen, but doesn’t brag about it.

- Edaline’s actress is married to Grady’s actor in real life and it’s so wholesome.

- They really are parents and have a little toddler. Her name is Ella.

- Grady’s actor can and has brake danced.

- Edaline’s actress bakes everyone cookies but also is like the adult version of Marella’s actress...

- WE STAN JOLIE’S ACTRESS IN THIS HOUSEHOLD.

- Has played the Titanic theme on the kazoo. Has also played the Titanic theme on the violin.

- Also I’m sorry, but I can only imagine her with @silveny-dreams personality mixed with a bit of Joana Ceddia plus Bob Ross vibes.

- She bought everyone kazoos and Shannon was and wasn’t happy.

- Jolie’s actress is also a painter fight me.

- Fintan’s actor is actually just a really soft guy until the camera turns on.

- Then he is Fintan himself.

- Kenric’s actor is actually Kenric. At all times.

- It’s kind of like the triplets - how there’s really no acting because it’s just his personality.

- Everyone loves him.

- It’s the same with Oralie’s actress only she hates the color pink...

- Yeah, she was not happy with Oralie’s house.

- It was too bright for her.

- But other than that she’s just this quiet, sort of shy, sweet thing that loves to feast upon cookies when Edaline’s actress brings them.

- Mr. Forkle’s actor is like a grumpy Santa Claus.

- It’s kind of really funny but also not.

- Everyone calls him Forkman.

I’m so sorry if this was a mess.

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aleapoffaithfiction · 5 years

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XVI.

"You will manage to keep a woman in love with you, only for as long as you can keep her in love with the person she becomes when she is with you." C. JoyBell

Rockin' around the Christmas tree, let the Christmas spirit ring. Later we'll have some pumpkin pie, and we'll do some caroling…

Naturally, my own vocals lightly meshed in with those of Brenda Lee while my head bopped back and forth to the infectious Christmas tune as it blared from the Beats Pill, I gifted to my mother a couple of months ago. To take advantage of the majority of my weight being pressed against the kitchen island, I slowly flexed my toes and extended my aches in an effort to minimize the throbbing in my feet. Short hisses turned into a deep sigh of bliss but unfortunately it was short lived once I grasped a knife in my hand again.

“Pass me two stalks of celery out of that bag, please.” My precise instructions were pointless. With her eyes intently focused on the phone in front of her, Celeste aloofly tossed the plastic bag in my direction as if I were a nuisance interrupting the ridiculous number of hours she spends interacting on Facebook. If anything, I avoid it, because once you reach a certain age, Facebook is nothing more than a scroll fest filled with engagement and pregnancy announcements, weddings and post-birth pictures, garbage hot takes from people about the most trivial of topics, and finally older relatives who have nothing better to do other than to be in everyone’s business, including yours.

“Shouldn’t you be doing something?” If she’s not going to be in the kitchen either helping me or doing something of her own, then the better choice would be for her to exit. She hasn’t been much company because we’re barely spoken since she arrived and I’d rather not be distracted by her sitting there in a trance with a phone in her hand like a mindless teen.

“Not really. You always do Christmas Eve, I do Christmas breakfast, and mommy does Christmas dinner. Don’t act brand new now.”

“I’m not acting brand new. I just see no point in you being in here.” Celeste does Christmas breakfast because it’s the easiest task to handle and I don’t have much of a problem pushing her dry ass pancakes around on a plate in anticipation for dinner later on the evening.

“For someone who claims to be so demure in the manner that you carry yourself, I’m super confused about why you have streams of diamonds glistening and circling around your neck.”

“What?” Thoughtlessly, I stretched my unoccupied hand up to the exposed skin and lightly brushed my fingers over nearly sixty carats of brilliant round cut diamonds that do not belong to me.

The manner in which O layers his many necklaces always grabs my attention and it’s something about the showiness in the midst of the simplicity of them that I continue to compliment whenever I see him donning them. This morning, for whatever reason, he randomly placed two of them around my neck as I stood in the mirror attempting to figure out just how festive my attire would be for today. Once I’d gotten past three unwarranted outfit changes, I found myself admiring the jewelry as it glimmered in the natural lighting cascading into his master bedroom beyond the curtains. I’d forgotten to remove them.

“They’re not real. It’s just costume jewelry.”

“They look pretty damn real to me.”

“Well, they’re not. There’s this new spot that opened up over on West 47th Street. I grabbed them in there. I just thought they looked cute and they reminded me of something Lil’ Kim wore one time. You know Kimberly Denise Jones is one of my spirit animals. They’re not something you wear everyday but it’s the holidays and I’m on vacation until after the New Year, so why not? I’m glad they look real though. That just means they were well made.”

“You seem to have a million alter egos. One minute you’re Florence Joyner, the next minute you’re Lil’ Kim, on another day you’re Angela Bassett, and then you’re Michelle Obama. We can’t forget you being the Oprah of sports journalism, oh and there’s Rihanna and Beyonce, who else?”

“Phylicia Rashard, Eartha Kitt, Regina King, Janet Jackson, Cari Champion, Lisa Salters, Pam Oliver, Jemele Hill. And I’ve never considered any of those women to be my alter egos. They’re women that I admire due to their drive, success, and character. I’ve taken bits and pieces from all of their careers and used them as lessons for my own. What you’ve mistaken is me saying that Lil Kim, Rihanna, and Tracee Ellis Ross are my style icons. Oh, and Mary J. Blige is my boot icon.” I think all women have a mood board of aspirations and inspirations. It doesn’t always have to be specific people. A portion of mine just so happens to contains who I believe are some of the greatest black women of the past and current generation. They’re not alter egos who I attempt to mimic but rather stories of triumph that keep me driven.

“What’s up with you and Kyle? Why are you interested?” I nearly cut into the flesh of my finger while dicing the stalks of celery. Briefly, I paused to gather myself, and immediately moved on to the three cloves of garlic.

“Nothing at all. I’m not interested so please stop pressing me about that. I’m not going to date your husband’s brother. I don’t do that all in the family stuff.”

“He’s really into you.”

“Or maybe you’re just exaggerating things. We’re just cool. We always have great conversations whenever we’re around one another and that’s good enough for me. I’ve already spoken to you multiple times about my disdain for your matchmaking bullshit. How many times do I have to tell you that I’m not a fan of it?”

“You continue to hold Shamel against me. Things didn’t work out. Okay. Shit happens. That doesn’t mean that every guy that I attempt to introduce you to won’t be compatible with you.”

“Compatibility? It’s deeper than that.” Parsley and cilantro were next for the wrath of the knife in my hand. I’m going to have to med onions next. I should have just bought all of this stuff chopped already.

“What’s deeper?”

“Celeste, you don’t know shit about what I went through with Shamel. You know the shortened version of years’ worth of bullshit. You think we just had a couple of typical couple disagreements to the point of us coming to terms with the reality that we could no longer be together? I wish it were that fucking simple, so don’t sit in here on your high horse with that matchmaker shit. Focus on your man and your marriage. I’m fine.”

I internalized so much of what I went through with the man. I was never the one to take my household troubles and spread all of it in places that it didn’t need to be. Anyone with the vision could see the tension between the two of us whenever we were out and about together and if you couldn’t see it, then it was thick enough to be felt. As my career began to take off, I chose to move as a single woman, often leaving him behind whenever I was out and about at industry events whether they were sports related or not. Shamel had a tendency to spend way too much time at the open bar, tossing back shots of tequila while slyly entertaining any woman that fawned over his deep mocha presence. He’d then cause a scene if he caught any men paying even the slightest attention to mine.

Beyond the decision to mask our toxicity as best as I could, I yearned to make my mother proud by being the quintessential woman; brains, beauty, a reputable career, and a good man standing alongside me. The pride she wore on her face at Celeste’s wedding stood out beyond any and everything that went on that summer night in Brooklyn. Since my father’s death, that wedding and all of the events leading up to it sparked a liveliness in her that I hadn’t experienced in quite some time although it had absolutely nothing to do with me. I’m not sure if she was vicariously living through my sister or she was simply just thrilled to see her began her own family, but in observing her response to it all, I wanted to give that to her.

After a short lived around of sex that left tears of mental exhaustion pouring down the sides of my face as I lie under him, he whispered in my ear that he intended to make me his wife. I’ll never forget the wave of nausea that rushed over my body and sent me dashing into the bathroom to empty out of the contents within my stomach. I thought of marriage as something beautiful until then. Just the thought of spending the rest of my life in misery with him left my mind in an emotional frenzy as I attempt to figure out when and how I’d end our relationship. Less than three weeks later, I finally mustered up the courage to get it done.

“You want to be alone forever?”

“Whether I do or I don’t, it’s my decision. You may be older, but we’re not kids anymore. We’re no longer in Brooklyn, under mommy’s roof, trying to figure out what we’re going to do with ourselves. You have your life and I have mine. I have time to figure that relationship shit out. I’m not stressed about it. Being single doesn’t bother me at all. For whatever reason, it bothers you.”

“It doesn’t bother me that you’re single. I just think you deserve happiness.”

“And you think that I don’t have it without a man? You give them way too much credit.”

And she always has. Celeste has been a serial monogamist for as long as I can remember her dating history. As soon as one relationship of hers would end, she’d be in another one within a week or two. I can recall a couple of overlaps, but that’s none of my business.

“Don’t put the whole bonnet pepper in there.”

“I know that. I’m only doing half.” The last thing I want is to give our mother heartburn on Christmas Eve.

In the midst of me pouring olive oil into the deep red pot I already had on the stove, I reached into my back pocket for my vibrating phone.

Mrs. Claus, I’m missing you. When are you coming home?

Home? To mask my budding smile, I slowly pulled my lip in-between my teeth.

Home?

This man knows how to put a smile on my face by saying the simplest things.

Anywhere I lay my head is just as much yours as it is mine.

I should have known that when he gave me keys and the security codes last night. I’m still in disbelief about that.

I should be finished here really soon and I’ll be right back at the North Pole to keep your lap warm, Santa.

It’ll be the first time I’m spending Christmas Eve anywhere other than here and to say I’m nervous would be an understatement. Usually around this time of the year, O would be in the midst of the season so his family would make the effort to come to New Jersey to be with him. Even though he’s currently not playing, they still decided to come up and enjoy the chilled weather. For the past couple of days, he’s convinced me to rid myself of my reluctance and to be with him and a few people I’ve yet to meet like his grandmother Mille, his uncle Mike, his aunt Pat, and his step-father Derek.

Naked right?

And don’t even get me started on the lie that I had to tell everyone in this house so that I’d be able to get out of our Christmas Eve tradition of my cooking and us sitting around watching our favorite Christmas classics while bundled up under quilts that we’ve had since Celeste and I were toddlers. That lie involved Taylor, who’s actually in Atlanta right now, and Scott who actually did invite me to his Christmas Eve game night over at his place.

I can make that happen. Not while the elves are awake though. That’s a bit inappropriate, Santa.

My snicker wasn’t soundless. It was loud enough to alert Celeste and her eyes slowly panned in my direction and raised in curiosity at what tickled me.

“It’s Taylor.” I said it before she could ask.

Baby, don’t be mad at me but I already cut the red velvet cake. It was just sitting there and I couldn’t help myself.

I knew he’d do it. The fume enticed him by itself, so his response to the finished product was of no surprise. I didn’t even make him promise me that he wouldn’t touch it because I knew he wouldn’t be able to help himself just as he said. It’s why I made two of them.

I knew you would. Enjoy it. That’s why I made it.

I spent the morning baking as a part of his Christmas request. Renee’s handling everything else, but all of the sweets are my task. When I return, I’m going to make my mini eggnog cheesecakes and cookies.

Try and make it back before the snow starts. I don’t want you driving in that.

It’s not supposed to be enough snow to keep the east coast hiding inside of their homes, but it will be enough to leave traffic dragging and the roads hazardous. I’ve never been much of a fan of driving in the snow, so I do want to be out of here before those flurries began to fall.

Will do. I’ll see you in a bit love.

“I can’t believe you’re about to go and spend Christmas Eve hanging out with your co-workers. Don’t you get enough of seeing them at work?” This is her second time making commentary about this since I’ve been here and I’m not even sure why. Celeste and I barely say much of anything to one another whenever I’m around, unless she’s scolding me about some area of my life that she assumes that I need to improve. It’ll be no different tonight as they’re all curled up in the living room watching classic holiday films while enjoying the dinner that I’m preparing and a shit ton of junk food we bought at Walmart the other day. Besides, her husband is here and when he’s with her, nearly all of her attention is on him.

“What’s the big deal? We’re not kids waiting around on Santa anymore. There are no babies here in the house that we need to be extra festive for. I’ll be back in the morning for breakfast and then we’ll all open up the presents together like we usually do. You won’t even notice that I’m gone.” Maybe my mother will, but she certainly won’t. Whenever her husband’s around, her attention remains solely focused on him. She parades herself on being a so-called traditionalist as a wife; whatever that means. Either way, her head is up his ass and luckily for her, his is just as far up hers.

“What time are you getting here in the morning? I figure I’ll at least be considerate enough to start making breakfast around them so by the time you’re here, you won’t have to eat cold food.”

“Most likely around nine or a half hour after it. It won’t be much later than that.”

“That’s if you’re not hungover, huh?”

“I won’t be. I have no plans to drink, unless it’s like a half glass of some spiked egg nog. Can’t go to a Christmas function and not have some egg nog. I’m driving, so it won’t be much.” I’m not irresponsible with my life and in addition to that, if O smells the alcohol on my breath, he’ll be scolding me all night long for having the audacity to drink and drive.

“Okay.” I never thought she’d leave the kitchen. She’s been in here since my arrival and comfortably settled at a spot in front of the island, while watching my every move. Initially, I thought she was doing it simply to be a critic of whatever I intended to prepare in the kitchen, but now I know she sat there as a mean to try and find her way into my business as she always seems to do. I’ve never been interested in what she has going on with Preston since she met the man. Even when we all went out to dinner a few years back and she first introduced him to both my mother and I, I didn’t have much of anything to say. All I could make of their connection was that she was obsessed with everything about him and luckily for her, he was smitten enough to feel the same way about her. She needed a man who could and world be a bit of a pushover for her and he is exactly that.

My father’s beloved stewed chicken or as he called it, poulet creole, was a breeze to prepare because I’m the only one in our home who learned every single aspect of that recipe directly from him. On a random summer day, while my mom and Celeste were out at the hair salon getting curls put into their hair for Sunday service, he interrupted me from watching ESPN, and called me into the kitchen for yet another one of his many lessons. The manner in which he taught me wasn’t by me looking on at his every task but instead me doing all of the work while he closely directed so I’d my hands would familiarize themselves with the process as he claimed. It was the same method that his grandmother taught him to cook with.

I preferred learning to cook under his guidance far more than my mother’s because she’s like a drill sergeant in the kitchen; barking down on her subject for any mistake or mishap with her directions. He and I laughed, danced to whatever he chose to play in the radio, and compared and contrasted our opinions on any topic we could think of. I will always hold him in the highest regard for allowing my self-expression to flourish. As a West Indian father of two girls, he could have easily chosen the overprotective and absurdly sexist route in raising us, but he didn’t. Rather than doing his best attempt to blind me from life beyond the doors of our home, he chose to listen to my perspective and then teach me about what life has to offer whether good or bad; easy, moderate, or difficult.

I miss him. Actually, that’s an understatement. During the holiday season, that pain that lies dormant within my soul flares up into an intensity that I have to stoically mask for the sake of getting through. As much as he emphasized the need to prepare both Celeste and I for the day that he was no longer with us, none of us ever expected it to be as soon as it was. I want to be the strong and independent woman that he raised me to be, but in some ways, I still need him. My mother needs him because she hasn’t been quite right ever since. Celeste needs him just as much, because there’s a part of her that has always sought him out in the men that she chose to allow into her life since his death.

“Celeste, I’m heading out.”

“Nice coat and hat.”

The caramel wool cashmere single-breasted silhouette was an unexpected gift from Kobe before we went on break for the holiday. Everything about the hand-embroidered embellishments and the manner in which it loosely accentuated my frame instantly made me fall in love with it with the Burberry piece. He encouraged me to open it up while we were standing there in my dressing room so I’d be able to see if I liked it, but I voiced that it wouldn’t be right to open it before Christmas. My curiosity nipped at me all morning long until I fed into its urge by opening it up and like a kid whenever they’re given anything new, I had to wear it immediately. The matching beanie hat is the cherry on top. Before I’m off to bed tonight, I intend to thank him again.

“Thanks. It’s my Christmas gift from Bean.”

“Who?”

“Kobe.”

“So, you’re going to be here around nine, right? You better not be late because I’m not defending you when mommy snaps.”

“Yes. I’ll be here. When she gets in from church, tell her to call me if she needs me.” I still can’t believe she went to Christmas Eve service. Actually, I’m quite surprised that she didn’t pressure Celeste and I into attending.

“Will do. Enjoy yourself.”

“Thank you. Merry Christmas Eve.” Unexpectedly for her, I leaned in and planted a soft peck on her cheek. We’ve never been the type of sisters who shower one another with a lot of love whether it be physical or verbal, but on there are those random occasions when I do show or tell her how much I love her. I’d like to think in all the ways I help her or come running when she needs me, it’s a reflection of what I feel just as much.

“Merry Christmas Eve. Have fun.”

“Will do. You too. Since mom isn’t here, maybe you and Preston can get a little practice in on that baby that you want.” With a slight scoff, her eyebrows raised.

“Since when are you on the wild side?”

“I’m reserved, not virginal. See you in the morning.”

A gust a wind slithered through the open space as soon as I opened the door to step outside and very faint sprinkles of snow filled the air as they lightly cascaded down to meet my frame. I thought I would have been out of here before it all started but the beauty of it ceased any complaints that I usually would have if it weren’t Christmas Eve. If anything, the snow makes the spirit of tonight even more fulfilling. I don’t have to dream of a white Christmas because it seems like the city is being gifted with one this year. “Happy Holidays stranger.” I didn’t see his car parked across the street nor had I noticed him jogging across the street after locking the doors behind himself and yet here he is, stepping up onto the sidewalk and inching closer to the steps of my mother’s porch to trigger a slight downward spiral of my mood with his presence alone. I don’t know what it is with Quinton and his purposeful choice to remain all in the family despite my resistance towards whatever he and my mother thought they had planned for my love life. Initially, I believed he genuinely viewed us as an extension of his own family and supporters in the neighborhood who he knew he could count on, but now, I’m not sure what the fuck this is or where he’s going with it. “Happy Holidays.” “How have you been?” “Well. You?” I was better just a minute ago. “I’m well enough.” “What brings you around? The holiday? You seem to always show up around here whenever there’s one.” In his hand, he held a gift bag that I’m going to assume is for my mother. It’s not that I mind that he buys her gifts, because deep down, I don’t. I’m mostly concerned with what they mean. “I don’t just show up here on holidays. I come over and check on your mom from time to time. You know I love Mrs. Nazaire.” My scoff was loud and clear. Any time we speak now, he sounds like nothing more than a fame hungry politician, who uses manipulation tactics to garner allies and supporters. I’m sure his antics are no different with my mother. It’s why she holds him in such high regard no matter how much I don’t give a fuck. “Yeah? It’s starting to feel like you’re screwing my mother. I’m not looking for any step-dads within our age range. Sniff around women your own age Quinton.” The sarcasm flowed from my mouth and into his ears; leaving a flustered expression on his face that quickly transitioned into one of annoyance. “I’m not. I’ve only been to bed with one Nazaire woman.” “I’m glad you used the past tense. I barely remember that one and done situation; but I’m glad that you do. She’s not here, but Celeste and her husband are. You’re more than welcome to wait for her and I’m sure that you will.” “I don’t know what it is that Shamel did to you, but you’re so bitter now. Not all men are hood gym owners who fucked you over repeatedly while dipping into women who bought memberships to be trained in doggystyle position rather than on treadmills. All I wanted to do was be a good man to you, but you’re coming at my head as if I’m your enemy.” He said all of that and yet I’m the bitter one? If anyone asked me anything about this man’s personal life, I wouldn’t be able to tell you anything aside from what I know from the days when we’d actually hangout with one another. I haven’t kept up with much about his life story since then and I’d prefer not to know now. That’s the difference between he and I; he remains invested in what doesn’t concern him while I can’t seem to find a reason or the time to concern myself with what he wishes I would concern myself with. “I’m growing a bit confused about who has the pussy between the two of us. Only bored and lonely women concern themselves with what was or wasn’t going on in another woman’s relationship. Damn, you were more invested in what Shamel was doing with his time than I was. I’m bitter because I don’t want to play your political trophy wife or are you bitter because despite my firm no, you’re still sniffing around here and chasing me? Find your dignity Quinton. Don’t go out like a wack bitch, aight?” “I hope you don’t go out like one either. Make sure you keep it classy by not fucking with all of those athletes that you’re constantly around. How many have you been with thus far?” “All of them.” I’m usually not the type to laugh at my own jokes but I couldn’t help but to chuckle at his facial expression. I’ve been slut shammed more times than I can count. It happens every day when random people hiding behind social media accounts on apps decide to accuse me of using my body in order to keep my job, so Quinton doing it isn’t offending me any more than it does when strangers are doing it. Initially, I used to be extremely irritated by it but I’ve come to terms with the reality that people are going to say and assume whatever they want no matter what I do or feel about it. No matter who I do or don’t have in my bed, my bills are paid. “Excuse me. I have some place to be.”

Stepping around him wasn’t the problem; it was the oddness of him standing there and watching me slip into my car. Like a lost puppy, he trudged up the stairs to the house door and continued to burn a hole into my foggy windows with a scowl on his face that I couldn’t see but I’m sure is there. Maybe one day he’ll get it or maybe he won’t, either way, I’m not responsible for what he feels. I’ve been clear with all intentions and lack their off.

No matter how much snowfall happens in the northeast year after year, as soon as flakes of any size begins to fall out of the sky, the snail-paced traffic is an immediate effect and it drives me insane. It’s one of the primary reasons why I was in no rush to get a new car and am currently wishing I had a driver taking me to my destination. Not even the holiday tunes that I love so much are distracting me from wanting to roll my window down and shout at the drivers in front of me who are missing green lights and evoking slight amounts of fear within me with their skidding. What would usually be a forty-five-minute commute turned into nearly an hour and a half.

The relief that washed over me at the sight of the double entry driveway was well received as I slowly inched my way in and focused in on the three bodies standing in the driveway. I reached out to him just a few minutes ago to notify him that I’d need help getting bags out of the backseat of the car, so we wouldn’t have to make multiple trips in the brisk weather. Unlike the other males standing alongside him, the handsome one who belongs to me was hilariously covered in an oversized Santa coat with a black hood covering his blonde mane.

“The traffic was so stupid as I was on my way to the Lincoln Tunnel. I will never understand how people who have been living on the East Coast since forever still fear the damn snow. It’s not even snowing that hard.” My right hand latched onto his and he carefully pulled me out of the driver’s seat and into his awaiting arms. My complaint went into one ear and right out of the other as he endearingly snuggled my frame as close to his as possible while nuzzling his chilled face into the nape of my neck. Admittedly, I needed to feel him in this exact manner for the restoration of the joy that this night is supposed to be and bring.

“And don’t even get me started on this ass wipe in this big ass Navigator who kept slightly skidding. I was caught in between being worried for my damn life and wanting to kick his ass for driving so stupidly. Oh and…” His peck was sweet; subtle and yet enough to leave me yearning for so much more.

“Give me your keys.” To oblige his request, I dropped them into his hand and turned to both Kordell and Derek who were looking on and most likely extremely bored with my rant.

“Hi guys.”

“You finally made it. This guy was about five minutes away from hopping into his Rolls Royce and driving all the way to Brooklyn for you.” I’ve only met his step-father Derek once and in my quick assessment of him I understood that he was more of a reserve man who somehow had a humorous side to him that couldn’t be ignored. He can crack a joke and it usually comes at the right time.

“I told him I was coming. I would have been here if it weren’t for the traffic.”

“And he wanted me to get in the car and go with his lame ass.” After a shared hug with Derek, I threw my arms around Kordell and pecked his forehead despite his maneuvers to avoid it. He’s not exactly the most physically affectionate person so I purposefully shower him with some of my own to worsen whatever annoyance his oldest brother sent his way.

“You weren’t going to come looking for me with your brother? I thought you and I are good friends now?”

“We’re family or whatever, but you and bro are old. I have a lot more life to live. I wasn’t about to catch hypothermia messing with the two of you.”

“It’s not even that bad out here. You haven’t seen a real blizzard yet Louisiana boy.” His dramatics earned a light mush to his head. I’d love to see how he reacts to a couple of feet of snow covering the ground and maybe even a power outage to go with it. Now that’s hell.

“Sarai, what is all of this?” The bewildered expression on his face and him using my first name evoked me to widen my eyes in a confusion about what I could possibly be in trouble about. I don’t believe there’s anything incriminating in my trunk and if there is, I didn’t place it there.

“Gifts.”

“All of this?” Like a nagging elderly man who borders between obnoxiously cheap and being frugal with his money, he extended his arm towards the overflowing trunk and placed his idly hand on his hip to await an explanation that he’s not going to receive.

“What? I told you that I was coming with gifts. Don’t be ridiculous. Just grab them. Oh, and don’t forget the ones in the backseat. I’m going inside. It’s cold.”

“This is crazy. You went overboard.”

“I know you’re not talking about overboard. There’s a Rolls Royce parked right over there. I can start there and keep on going for hours. You really want to do this right now?” If there’s anything I’m ever ready for; it’s to prove somebody wrong. Debating is an essential part of my profession as an analyst and I haven’t lost a debate yet if you let me tell it, so I can and will give him an extensive five minutes of dialog about his spending habits and how he is by far one of the biggest spenders that I know. This man doesn’t even use his washer and dryer. He dry cleans every damn thing and never wears the same underwear, socks, or t-shirts twice.

“Nah, baby, you got it.” Without any further questions or concerns, he extended his arms into the trunk and began to retrieve a few of the many bags that they all needed to bring inside.

“Wow. You know how things go in arguments. Good job, man.”

While on my way to the warmth, my laughter at Derek’s commentary was loud enough for me to hear it but low enough so that the man of my affection couldn’t make it out. Sometimes it’s just best to keep quiet about the reality that your man is willing to put himself aside to please you and, in this case, it was his mouth.

“Sarai!”

Sometimes I’m stunned by my sincere acceptance into his family dynamic. We’re anything but traditional and we’re navigating in a manner that I’m sure they don’t understand because we certainly don’t. Aside from my overwhelming emotional affection towards the man who belongs to them more than he does to me, they’ve been unknowingly responsible for making me feel like I deserve the joy that I feel when I’m with him and around them. In my transition from hugs with Heather, Jazzy, and those who I’ve been led around the first level of the house to meet, I haven’t been able to ease away the smile gracing my face.

“Your outfit and pajamas are upstairs in the room.” I know pasta when I smell it. The fumes coming from the kitchen appealed to my senses quickly and left my stomach turning in knots for nourishment.

“Outfit?”

“Wait until you see what your guy bought for you.” Her amusement was my fear. I tend to like to make him the butt of a couple of my jokes, but I don’t want to be the one on the other end of his tonight.

“Is it a onesie?”

“No.” Suddenly I wish this glass of egg nog were spiked.

“I’m going to head up and see it. If it’s a disaster I’m pulling the feminist card and blaming the both of you because we’re supposed to be united against these men.” I waggled my finger back and forth to point out the mother and daughter duo who found my apprehension to be amusing and began slowly inch my way up the spiraling staircase that leads to the upper level of the house. Though I could hear his voice loud and clear from the foyer, O hadn’t brought my personal belongings upstairs and I’m already up here so that’s out. With that in mind, it seems even more logical to take him up on his offer of my own closet space so that I no longer need to keep trekking overnight backs to and from here.

A blend of the Italian bergamot and clay sage from his beloved cologne meshed in blissfully with the gingerbread scent that I know he purposefully misted into the room just for me. Since December came in, he frequently made note of how my home smelled like cookies whenever he came over and accused me of trying to toy with his already slightly ridiculous appetite for junk food, especially candy. Despite my love for Bath and Body Works and Yankee Candle’s holiday scents, he deemed them to be exceedingly sweet and overdone. Now look at him.

Flutters filled my core at the sight of his master suite’s fireplace being utilized for the first time ever. Unlike my obsession with them, it’s a feature within the house that he hasn’t concerned himself with since moving in. There’s something about the way the flames are curling and oscillating, flickering like gleaming lights, and cascading hues of scarlet onto the wall that naturally warms the space.

“Your stuff is on the bed.” I knew he was in the doorway. The chills trickling onto the back of my neck spoke before he did.

“You put the fireplace on.”

“I figured you’d like it. Thank God it’s electric. I’m no fireplace expert.” As his feet trudged against the wooden flooring, he dropped my monogram Louis Vuitton Keepall Bandoulière duffle bag near the entry way of his closet.

“It’s beautiful.” If it were just us, I’d curl up on the floor in front of it with a good playlist going.

As soon as my Ugg boots were kicked aside, I inched closer to the bed and alongside three bags, was a Snoopy and Woodstock perfectly wrapped present that I certainly wasn’t expecting to see. My curiously instantly peaked but in a swift second, I checked myself for discarding the waiting rule I’ve grown up with. Celeste and I weren’t even able to open one gift at midnight on Christmas Eve.

“You forgot to put that under the tree?” Instead, I reached for the crimson red gift bag and snickered as soon as my hand silky velvet material that is identical to the kind covering his frame. My Mrs. Claus coat was that of something I’d be waiting for Santa in the bedroom in rather than keeping an eye on the elves. It’s lace-up front called for a good cleavage while the pure white faux fur trimming and flared skirted bottom were more along the lines of tradition until anyone notices the split open front. What exactly is supposed to go under this?

“No, that’s for you to open now. You probably thought I was playing when I mentioned it before but I really am impatient on Christmas Eve. I like to open presents the night before and just sleep on Christmas morning. Since it’s our first one together, I figured I’d be fair to your traditions and my own. So, we can open some tonight and then open the first in the morning. Fair?” Like an eager child hoping to get his way, his narrowed eyes slightly widened with hopes that I’d agree to what he calls fair. I don’t see what the big deal is. It all has to be opened either way.

“Fair.”

“So open that.”

Lazily, my body flopped down onto the plushness of the bed and I grabbed the box with a bit of shaking to increase his growing anticipation. The contents inside only slighting moved, throwing off just about all of my potential guesses for what it may be. My first donned a smirk as I commenced with tearing through the wrapping paper to uncover the infamous Christian Louboutin box under it. Shoes? Infinite brownie points already. Much like himself, I adore footwear. I stand by the law that a shoe can make or break a look more than any other article of clothing.

“You didn’t.” Instantaneously, thoughts of a random conversation I was having with Taylor came to mind. Christian Louboutin collaborated with Indian Couture Designer Sabyasachi Mukherjee on an extremely limited-edition collection featuring hand-embroidered sari fabrics and jaw dropping embellishments that left me in awe upon the sight of it online. Every piece of material used to craft the shoes were taken from Sabyasachi’s private archive, leaving only a few pairs of each design to be created.

“Didn’t what?” His confusion was intentional. The grin called his bluff. The lid to the box went flying behind me in an instant and in dramatic fashion, I dropped back onto the bed in astonishment and bliss at the sight of the exquisite thigh high boots that I fell in love with. Their golden delicate leather straps were specially designed harness and highlight the leg. On top of it, they’re made to measure.

“Is this real life?”

“I feel pretty alive, what about you?”

“How the hell did you get these? I called everywhere. No, literally. I e-mailed fucking Hong Kong for them. Supposedly only like six pairs were made.” “Those have been in my closet since October.” The nonchalance in his tone evoked a moisture lightly seep into the seat of the lace under my jeans. I don’t know whether to jump on the bed in joy or discard everything covering my frame allow him to twist and flip me into any position of his liking. Maybe both? Both can certainly be done.

“Come and give me a hug please.” With the box now resting alongside me, I opened my arms and awaited his presence. Like a weighted blanket, a wave of tranquility washed over me at the mass of his body now being closely hard-pressed against mine. My fingers found their way into the platinum blonde curls and few loose dreads dangling from his scalp and our lips met for a kiss that I’d been yearning for since I opened my eyes this morning. The sweetness of his supple lips intoxicated me far more than anything alcoholic ever could and the way his length fingers dug into the skin of my hips nearly blurred the actuality that we’re not home alone.

“I love them so much. Thank you, handsome.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Get up so that I can get one of yours from downstairs.”

“I can wait until after you’re dressed.”

“No, I insist. Let me get it.”

“Another kiss first?”

Without hesitation, I once again pressed my lips into his own for a deep peck and moved in a fluidity with his body as we eased off of the bed. I made it downstairs and back up, with a promise that I’d hurry up and change so the festivities could really begin. I need a quick shower first before I do anything else.

“I hope that you like it. I saw it and you instantly came to mind.”

“Can I just warn you that I didn’t wrap all of your gifts. The only reason why your boots were wrapped is because the boutique did it for me.”

“It’s fine. I don’t care about all of that.” The last thing I expected him to do is be frustrating himself with wrapping paper. His patience would never be able to handle it. For some odd reason, I enjoy doing it. I’ve been the designated gift wrapper in my family for years.

Though it may seem childish to some, I wrapped everything I bought him in Dr. Seuss’ “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” wrapping paper that I randomly spotted and happily picked up from a Hallmark store in Rutherford, New Jersey. Since he deemed it to be his favorite holiday classic, I imagined it would be festive to bring an element of it into the fun.

With my phone in hand, I snapped a photo of him as he tore through it to reveal the Louis Vuitton box, I knew it to be. Within seconds, its lid was on the floor and he drew away the protective paper to reveal the tan cowhide and calf leather “Christopher Backpack” backpack I bought for him. Unlike his ridiculously vibrant Supreme bags, I fell in love with the timeless style of the backpack and the classic solidness of its color. It’s a perfect choice for those game days when he’s more dressed up than down and needs something that’s subtle while still somehow being a statement piece.

“Damn, this is clean. This is perfect for when we’re traveling because they usually want us a little more dressed up.”

“That’s what I was thinking.”

“Yeah, I love this baby. I don’t know about waiting until next season to wear it though. I’ll have this on within a couple of days. Watch.”

Knowing him, he will. If it’s new, he’s in it shortly after receiving it. I don’t know him to be that person who saves things for later. Why should he when he’s constantly either buying or receiving things?

“I’m going to take a short shower. It’ll be quick.”

“You already smell good. What you need a shower for?”

“I was cooking. I can smell it on me. It’ll be quick. Ten minutes.”

“Your showers are never ten minutes.”

“This one will be. I assure you.”

The fib didn’t go without being grumbled about when that ten-minute duration I assured him up turned into an additional ten simply because of the feel of the warm water cascading over my skin left me in damn near a state of slumber as I stood there. My lotion lathering came with assistance and so did pulling up the opaque plaid patterned tights over my thighs. By the way of their fit, they were clearly sewn together to cater to an extremely slender woman’s shape but by the grace of God and my man’s hands they were up and over my ass without a snag or hole in sight.

“I really can’t believe you bought all of this.” We look like we work in the middle of a mall. Instead of having crying babies sitting up on his lap for photographs, he’d have lusty women beating one another to a bloody pulp for daring to cut the line to ruin their chances of sitting upon his lap and asking for his genitalia while I’d be called Santa’s Slore.

“Let’s go outside.”

Intricate patterns of the weightless ice floated downward from the darkened sky. Each flake whirled and twirled as a faint wind blustered them in our direction. Much like the silly man alongside myself randomly dancing for his personal media guy’s camera, I joyfully tracked footsteps into the barely there bed of snow covering the grounds of his driveway and took satisfaction in the sound of it squishing under my boots. I’m no longer camera shy, but being on one with him has awoken what used to be a part of me. I already knew that George would be documenting all of this just as he does for a lot of milestones and random moments of his life, but what happens if I’m no longer what he wants and he randomly comes across this Christmas video and the pictures to go with it one day? How awkward would that be?

“Hey, look.”

“Huh?” Though he only spoke two words, the thick cloud of breath still lingered as I faced him. In following his eyes as they slowly panned up, mine met the mistletoe idly hanging on the door with the red bows that were already there.

“That was not there when I got here.” I saw the bows, but the mistletoe? No. Laughter spilled from our lips at what I knew to be true. I’m slightly fatigued, but I can remember what I did and did not see.

“It was.”

“It was not.”

“Come and kiss me so that we can go inside, open up more stuff, and play cards with grandma.”

“That tone. I like it.” I’m alright with a man taking charge every now and then.

“Come here.”

The frost of the winter air was of no match to the warmth radiating from our bodies and serving as a shield around our affection. I’d often fantasize about moments like this; having a companion to comfortably, and most of all safely, bare my all to without any guards or painful baggage weighing me down. I believed the advice of allowing it to come to me was standard and cliché, but I undoubtedly understand it now. It’s when you least expect it that the unexpected happens in the best way possible. I ruled him out of my life as soon as we had that initial conversation and yet the universe continued to cross our paths, naturally coercing me to allow him in. In the midst of all of my fears from the past and present, I want only him.

“Okay, let’s go. I want to see everything that you got me.”

“You can’t open everything tonight. That’s breaking our deal.”

“Huh?” I trailed behind him as he dashed back into the house and towards the living room.

“You heard me!”

I chose the kitchen counter top as my designated seat for what turned into the most chaotic gift giving presentation. Like a hood Santa Claus, all I could pay attention to was my man and his slightly sagging plaid pants zipping through his home pulling out gifts from seemingly everywhere. They jokingly talked about how much of a grinch he was last Christmas but he’s certainly redeeming himself this year.

I can’t remember the last time I thoughtlessly splurged on luxury designer goods but I don’t need to do so any time soon because he covered that and then some. Being overwhelmed was an understatement. Chanel, Versace, Bottega Veneta, Balenciaga, Saint Laurent, Fendi. I lost track of the rest and the process of just how I’m going to be able to organize all of it in my closet.

In watching him, it’s so easy to understand human purpose. In the midst of being here to seek fulfillment within our own purpose, we’re just as much here to look after our loved ones and even those who aren’t. Fortunately, he’s been blessed to have more and because of it, he spreads not only his love but also the benefits of his wealth among them. There’s a pride within it that has been radiating from him for over an hour now. I too, can relate. I’ve been given just as many hugs and kisses of thanks that he’s been given and I expect that it’ll continue when I am with my own family in the morning.

“Draw 4, blondie.” What he thought was going to be a swift Uno out moment turned into him having fifteen cards in his hand and a scowl on his face that is hysterical. He’d beaten me to the point of embarrassment at Spades because I’ve never been that great at it despite the many times my dad taught me how to play, so I had to somehow coerce him into playing something that I could play by pretending that I didn’t know how to.

“You know what, I’m going downstairs to whoop Kordell in some hoops because you’re cheating.” A snicker slipped past my lips at the playfully aggravated scowl on his face as he used his body’s strength to push his chair away from the round table. In a manner to taunt him, I held out my hands before me and wiggled my fingers to signify my lack of cards and the reality that I’d just won yet another game of UNO. My man being a sore loser isn’t something that he’s modest about. I and many others have known that about him for quite some time.

“Don’t be mad.”

“You’re cheating. You keep making up imaginary rules that don’t exist.”

“Seriously? The directions are in the box. Look at them or look them up on Google. It’s not my fault that you don’t know them all. You just suck.”

“I suck?” The amused expression on Mille’s face tickled all of us as she glanced back and forth, to take in every shit talking word as they left the both of our mouths. She’d been quietly observing the two of us since we joined both she and Jasmyne at the table for a round of card games.

Initially, I thought I’d been intruding on her time with her grandchildren, but the sly smirks and eventual huge smiles gracing her angelic face swarmed me with a warmness that I needed to further soothe me into a comfort zone around those who I do not know well just yet. Every couple of minutes or so, she’d give me either a gracious caress to the hand as a sign of her welcoming or a pat of encouragement to continue beating her oldest grandchild at Uno. I’m going to accredit that to the feminism within her.

“If the shoe fits, babe.”

“I’m going to remember that baby. The mental note is made.” He used his index finger to tap his forehead as I wordlessly ogled over his exterior.

If anyone looked at his attire, it wouldn’t be deemed as anything impressive; a black Supreme sweatshirt and a pair of black loose shorts to keep him much cooler than all of that velvet he had on. Simple. Why my eyes are continuing to embarrassingly bulge out of their sockets every time they land on him is beyond my comprehension. I’ve never seen anyone’s facial structure be as chiseled to perfection as his is. The silhouette of his jawbone is completely shielded by the blackness of his thick beard and yet just the hint of it sends unwavering shivers down my spine.

The glimmer in his faintly slanted and ever so narrowed eyes illuminates any room when that priceless smile arises on his face and every aspect of myself begins to figuratively melt into liquid form; between my thighs is the worst of it. In the midst of his sleep, I love to plant soft pecks down the finely lined bridge of his nose until my lips are gently pressed into the suppleness of his own. I’m addicted. I lose all sense of who I am whenever his warm tongue meets mine.

Handsome is an understatement; it isn’t enough to compare. He is beauty personified. I don’t believe there is another man in sports entertainment who has left me gasping for just a slight breath of air upon my every sight of him. It never gets old. I don’t believe it ever will.

Sometimes I have to wonder if he’s truly mine or if the universe is playing some type of sick joke on me.

“I don’t mind you remembering that.” Whatever payback he has for that may come with pleasure that I am more than willing to accept.

“Alright.” The sly smirk tugging on his lips was enough to leave me on the borderline of tickled and embarrassed as soon as he leaned over to plant a knowing and warning kiss on my lips. Despite the presence of his younger siblings and the elders within his family, he didn’t harbor not even an ounce of regard or bashfulness when it came to his need to have his hands touching some part of my body or any other display of affection, he bestowed upon me at random moments. His actions remained consistent with all that he does when we’re alone; barely any discretion involved.

“I’m not sure if my stomach is churning because of you two or because I want some cake, but I’m going to get some cake anyway. Y’all want anything?”

“You just mad.” And just like that, her brother’s large palms were lightly meshing into the side of her head for a playful mush and she instantly pushed him out of her way.

“I’m just fine with my egg nog.” Mille opted to keep hers virgin along with the other underage beings around. The rest of us had just a teaser of rum to give it a subtle kick.

“Me too. I’m fine.” I stepped on the scale a couple of days ago and I’ve gained five pounds. Between the man in my life constantly feeding me and the holidays, I’ve been overindulging on just about everything that’s offered to me. I need to get my life together.

With yet another shove to her brother’s side, Jasmyne darted away from the table with him hot on her trail with jokes about the size of her head which is no different from his own, but I’ll leave him be. They left the matriarch of their family and I at the table with decks of cards and a “Snow Place Like Home” five-hundred-piece jigsaw puzzle that she’s beginning to open so that we can attempt to put it all together before we’re off to bed. The peacefulness on her face evoked a solace within me that I’ve been seeking since this day began. My internal mourning subsided for the meantime as I observed her joy in being surrounded by family and most of all, because they’re all doing quite well in all aspects.

“My daughter went from telling me that you have my grandson’s nose wide open to telling me that he’s completely lost into your world and I couldn’t believe it. Odell would always laugh me off when I asked him about girls or women and he’d tell me that myself, Heather, and Jasmyne are the only ladies of value and importance in his life. From the way he’s been floating around here since your arrival and the way he looks at you, there’s officially a fourth.” My mouth moved to speak but the words remained stuck in the pit of my throat as her ash white eyebrows arose in a satisfaction at the believed accuracy of her all too knowing spirit.

“You don’t have to be modest. He’s not sitting next to you anymore.” Immediately, giggles spilled from her rosy lips prompting my shoulders to sink in a relief that I’m not sure why I needed.

“I’m not being modest. I just don’t know what to say. It feels like a lot of this is unfamiliar territory for me but at the same time, it evokes the shy and bashful side of me.” She’s been making little comments since we were introduced. I guess they were all leading up to this moment.

“That’s a good thing dear; a great thing. I’ve been wanting to meet you ever since his momma showed me a video of him working out with his physical therapists and trainers. You’ve built him back up. She gives you most of the credit for that.”

“I wouldn’t give myself any credit. His determination did it. You can’t keep someone with his determination down and he certainly wasn’t going to do it to himself.”

“Determination goes a long way, but often time, there has to be something or someone to ignite the fire behind that determination and that has been you. You cared for him, physically and most of all mentally, during what he calls one of the most disappointing and darkest times of his life thus far. So, don’t sell yourself cheaply because he talks about you like you’re priceless.”

“I believe in everyone having a person; that person that they can go to for laughter and good times or to lean on for a cry session. Whether it’s a close relative or a friend, you just need that person. I wanted to be that person for him because I know what it’s like to not have that person. He didn’t need pity. He needed encouragement that the injury is just a small part of his journey and most of all, he just needed someone to simply be there. That’s what you do for someone you lo-“

My tongue pressed against the backs of my top front teeth as I halted an admission that I’ve been withholding for a short while and coming to grips with on my own. I’ve been overly analyzing what that means for myself and how to navigate it going forward because it’s never felt quite like this before. As with all that I’ve been sharing with him, it’s new and I’ve jumped off of a cliff and into a pit of fear that I’m doing my best not to drown in.

Acceptance needed to come first and now that it has, I’ve been in a wonderment of whether or not those feelings are reciprocated on his end and how I’m going to handle my ever-going emotions if they are not. I cannot berate him for what he may not feel nor can I resent him for not sparing my feelings with lies if he does admit that I am in this alone.

I want to do nothing more than protect him. It’s almost odd because I’ve felt compelled to do that prior to even knowing him. Every attack and biased commentary that came his way felt like a personal attack on the character of a man who the world refused to understand. Now that I’ve experienced him in ways that are far beyond what were in my imagination at that time, I stand firm in what I knew all along. He’s not perfect and yet his imperfections are too what I love about him. He’s the embodiment of a security in his personhood and masculinity that I am irrevocably attached to.

“You could have finished that. Words are powerful but so are body language and actions. Yours have said it all. You know, I used to call you the young lady on TV that he likes so much, but now I call you the young lady on TV that he loves so much.”

Faint tingling nipped at the nape of my neck and the lined crevice of my back as certain aspects of her statement entered my ear like a vibrating echo; hypothetically repeating themselves for an emphasis to my thoughts. The last man I remember genuinely loving me laid down with my mom to create me. Shamel did not love me; I was something to do.

He rarely ever used the word and when he did, it was to emphasize something that he loved for me to do for him. In poor judgement and a lack of character, I accepted that because I was too emotionally exhausted to be combative with him or myself about it. Eventually, I didn’t even want him to love me. There didn’t need to be anything that kept us attached beyond an ignorant familiarity that I clung to for far too long.

“You really think so?”

“I know so dear.”

In an effort to help her, I reached my arms out and used my hands to spread out the many pieces all over the table so that we could begin a strategy to get it done. It’s been quite some time since I’ve done one of these and I’m not even sure my tired body can concentrate enough but I’m willing to try.

“Merry Christmas.” Yet again, the scent of his Sean Jean cologne slithered up my nose as the heat radiating from his body left me leaning back against my seat, relishing in it. His long arms extended over and he placed a navy-blue box down on the table directly in front of me. Upon my eyes landing on it, the all too famous Harry Winston initials were engraved in a bold gold on its surface.

“What’s this?” Along with him, Mille, and myself being in the room, there was also George who was continuing to document every aspect of this holiday celebration.

“Just a little something for my Brooklyn girl to rock with her Timbs.”

“Shut up!” Our regional teasing never ends. He tends edge me out with the Brooklyn jokes because I don’t know how many other ways, I can talk about how country he is. Technically speaking, he’s not even as country as some of the other athletes that I’ve spoken with over the last couple of years. Even his accent, that nearly melted me out of my heels the night we first conversed with one another, isn’t heavily ingrained with that Louisiana flare.

“Open it.” Without any bickering or hesitation, I slowly pulled up the lid on the box to reveal a pair of hoop earrings that instantly left me in a state of breathlessness. The emerald and round cut stones circled their platinum setting with a glimmer that one could not ignore. Every aspect of their make oozed a meticulousness to his taste and Mr. Winston’s talent. Any figure of price that came to mind could not match up with what sat before me and I know better than to ask him for specifics. I can admit to being a gold hoop wearing girl while I was back in high school, but I never imagined myself having a pair quite like this.

“Oh my God.” Circling my fingers over their surfaces solidified the reality of them now being within my possession and his supple lips pressing against my forehead widened the smile I was already donning.

“You like them? They seemed like they were very you when I saw them. Hoops for when you rock those buns in your hair.” Whether it’s a well done or sloppy bun, he always compliments how “cute” it is on me and he takes it a step further by enjoying the open access to my neck while my hair is out of the way.

“I love them. Thank you, babe. Thank you so much, they’re beautiful.” Just as I’ve done with every gift he’s given me thus far, I leapt out of the chair and threw my arms around his body in a physical showering of the love that I have for him. It’s beyond the gifts but rather the reality of him thinking of me and being so intuitive with what I desire and need that has taken his endless gift giving over the edge tonight.

“George did you get that? Now that’s a picture-perfect moment.” Mille’s face glowed in pleasure at the sight of us. I wonder if we’re reminiscent of those old black and white films that I secretly love so much. I hope so, but just in color. Everything about us is vibrant.

“I have it all Mama Millz.”

“I’ll be back.” I couldn’t take another moment of being in that unbearably warm coat or the tights.

I did change. The crimson red fair isle long john was a perfect touch for tonight. Much like earlier, the fireplace distracted me and I found myself sliding down onto the floor to marvel in its heat and beauty. If there were a pillow down here with me, I’d be asleep within minutes. Though he moved into this house not that long ago, for some reason it feels more lived in than my own. Maybe it’s because it’s filled with family right now or it may be the dogs, but I enjoy the way I feel here. There’s an eerie loneliness in my home that can be difficult to ignore sometimes.

“What are you doing?”

“Enjoying the fireplace.”

“Why are you acting like you don’t have one?” Once inside, he closed the door enough just to leave a crack in it.

“I don’t have one in my bedroom.”

“We can fix that.” Yet again, the nonchalance tone and now shrug awoken parts of me that I’ve been mentally taming since my arrival. He talks like he’s more than willing to give me the world in a silver platter if I were to request it.

“I have something for you.”

“I want something for you too.”

“Me first.” Rather than hanging it to him, I nudged the velvet gift bag towards his feet and he flopped down onto the floor to meet it. He dropped his gift for me, Cartier from what I observed, into his lap.

“Patek Philippe? Oh wow.” With no response, I allowed him to have the moment to himself as he pulled the chocolate toned leather box out of the bag. Our eye contact was brief as he pulled open the lid and his silence intrigued me instead of rattling my already racing nerves. Just as I’d done to the hoop earrings, his fingers ran over its surface while his lips parted to leave his mouth agape. It may not be on his arm now, but I’ve envisioned just how incredible it’s going to look on him over and over again.

“The blue isn’t only representative of the team but it also takes me back to the night we both spoke for the first time. You were wearing blue and black. In New Orleans, when we made things official, you were wearing blue. Blue makes me think of you. I know most associate that color with sorrow, but you give it life and joy. You give it character.”

Only the sound of the fire crackling against the wood served as a tune dancing in the air of stillness between the two of us. His reaction to so many of the other things I gifted to him were boisterous and comedic, but this stole his words and left him to wallow in speechlessness.

“Sarai, I love you.”

The wholeness of his words filled voids that I neglected and accepted as everlasting destruction. His patience has sealed my gaping wounds and rid me of the leftover scarring. The acceptor of my deficiencies and the protector of my delicate soul, in his eyes, for the first time in such a long time, I recognize myself. The duality of being able to love myself and him is as synchronized as my breathing.

“I love you too, Odell.”

Undoubtedly. Irrevocably.

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