#we needed today to go well and it did apparently

[waitingandwishing]

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Word Count: 3k "𝖫𝗂𝗏𝖾 𝗂𝗇 𝖽𝖺𝗋𝗄𝗇𝖾𝗌𝗌, 𝖻𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗆𝖾 𝖻𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍𝗇𝖾𝗌𝗌" ━━ Ever since you were a kid, all you wanted was to be cared for.

He was already there when you arrived, sitting on the low stone ledge with his sleeves rolled and his bipa leaning against the wall beside him. A faint melody hung in the air, like the breeze had interrupted his playing.

“You’re late,” He said, without looking. You thought it was slightly unsettling that he could sense your presence, but you didn’t mind it. At least someone did. His face was blurred like always, familiar but definitely strange to you…

“I brought persimmons,” You replied, holding up the little cloth pouch tied at your waist.

He looked over, clearly unimpressed. “Are they the bitter ones?”

“They’re the only ones.” You shrugged.

He sighed dramatically. “I suppose I must suffer.”

“You’re a palace musician. Suffering is your art, isn’t it?”

He let out a short, startled laugh and shook his head. “That’s unfair. I suffer beautifully.”

“Mm… I doubt it.” You teased. You plopped down beside him, close enough to hear the quiet creak of the bipa’s strings when the wind touched them. The cloth of your uniform rustled, stiff from the day’s work and still smelling faintly of tea and cedar floors.

“Today,” You said, biting into a persimmon, “A minister sneezed during a prayer. Twice. I thought I was going to explode.”

The man leaned in, curiosity evident in his voice. “Did he try to cover it?”

“He looked like he was dying. Turned completely red.” You chuckled.

“I wish I’d seen it,” he muttered, grinning. “I would’ve written a funeral dirge just for him.”

You choked on the persimmon and laughed, hand to your mouth. “You’re wicked.”

“You’re the one who laughed first.”

You both dissolved into laughter then. It was soft and quiet, it had to be, but it was still real. It was warm, unrestrained in a way neither of you could be when the sun was up and the palace was watching.

He plucked a note, thoughtful. “Something I was working on during rehearsals. But it’s wrong. It keeps slipping out of my fingers.”

“Maybe it’s not wrong,” You started, leaning closer to get a better look, “Maybe you just have to… Play for someone else?”

He looked at you with surprise and you quickly backtracked, “But of course that would be rude to any honored guest! A-after all you’re playing for them, not for someone else! Forget I said anything, the bitterness from the persimmons might be getting to my head…”

You opened your eyes, gasping as you snapped back up from your bed. Why were you suddenly having these odd dreams of this guy? Ugh, that was sort of creepy of you. 

You scratched your head, standing up from your bed and getting ready for the day. You needed to help Rumi get her voice back, but you weren’t sure if Zoey’s method of doing that was… Ethical. Oh well, you wanted to handle it before calling Celine, after all, she would just put more and more pressure on Rumi.

“It’s just a sweet dream, only today. Wait for me, on the stage. We will meet once again…” You muttered under your breath as you changed out of your pajamas to some comfy clothes. You slid on your gloves, covering the markings that stained them.

You and Rumi had them since the day you were born, but you weren’t related to Rumi or even were remotely close to having any heritage with demon blood. It was obviously a mystery, but you hadn’t stolen any souls from people yet so obviously it wasn’t a problem. Yet.

- - -

“He’s got this special tonic.” Zoey explained as the four of you walked down the street wearing your disguises. “Apparently, it can heal anything from sore throats to relationship problems.”

“Shhh! Quiet Zoey…” Rumi mumbled, covering her face just in case they’d be seen.

“Why are there so many people today?” Mira muttered.

“Ooh! It’s down that alleyway!” Zoey said, skipping down a creepy looking passageway. You cringed but followed her. 

Usually, you tried to trust Zoey’s judgement and give her the benefit of the doubt, but obviously it was hard when this so-called doctor had a special tonic that could heal emotional bonds. Maybe they bonded because of their hatred for the scam?

As they arrived at the “Doctors” place, Mira placed one hand on her hip with an unimpressed look on her face. “Yep, about as legit as I expected…”

“I… Does it even taste good?” You asked. “It sounds like it tastes like one of those old lady houses with chipped wood furniture…”

“That’s… Oddly specific.” Mira commented, furrowing her brows. Although you were skeptical, you did hope that this guy was actually for real.

“Earthy and herby. Smells legit to me.” Rumi shrugged.

“Yay! That’s the spirit!” Zoey clapped her hands together and grabbed Rumi’s hand to guide her inside. “Kaja, kaja, kaja, kaja!”

“Hurry, before someone sees us.” Mira sighed, entering the establishment. You followed behind them with a smile.

You sat down next to Mira, picking at the loose strings in your leather gloves. Persimmons… Your hand traced your lips. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to buy some today after Rumi’s check-up.

“Rumi Nim?” The doctor walked through and you quickly stood up with the others to bow. He chuckled, “Sit, sit. You need no introduction.” He turned his attention to Rumi, “So, a problem with your voice?”

“Yes.” Zoey jumped in, “So we need one of your awesome tonics. Something that’ll work super fast.” You nodded alongside her.

“Okay, let me see.” The doctor leaned forward, pulling his glasses down. Rumi opened her mouth for him to check before he quickly shook his head, “Ah, ah, ah. In order to heal a part, we must understand the whole.” He breathed in deeply before staring into Rumi as if trying to see her soul. “I see… I see… No.”

You blinked, clearly confused. Was this guy crazy? You were starting to think that he was but at this point you weren’t sure.

“Actually, I don’t see. Very strange.” He adjusted his glasses, now looking a bit more closely, “You have lots of walls up.”

“Woah! He’s so good right?” Zoey rocked you back and forth with awe in her eyes. You nodded along, but that could be said about anyone.

“So many walls…”

“Walls?” Rumi scoffed, turning away from his uncomfortable gaze. You felt bad for her, being read like this in front of Mira and Zoey wasn’t exactly ideal especially with her secret… “I don’t have any walls.”

“Uh, yeah, you do.” Mira commented, looking up from her OUTER magazine before turning to Zoey and muttering, “He is kind of good.”

“I’m just trying to stay focused.” Rumi shrugged.

“Hm… Focus is good, but focusing on one part leads to ignoring other parts,” The doctor leaned in on Rumi’s left side, "Making you separated, isolated.”

“Ooh ooh!” Zoey raised her hand, “Emotionally closed off?”

“Yes! Yes!” The doctor nodded along in agreement.

“She’s also a workaholic, doesn’t know how to relax…” Mira listed off the reasons before Rumi interrupted her.

“I know how to relax!” Rumi said defensively.

“You… Really don’t.” You added with a grimace.

“I bet she refuses to go to the bathhouse with you.” The doctor grinned mischievously. Honestly you were wondering why he decided to sell tonics and not work as a therapist at this point.

“Oh my gosh, yes!” Zoey exclaimed.

“How did you even-”

“Dude, we’ve been trying to take her to the bathhouse forever!” Mira and Zoey both said at the same time. You sighed, shaking you head and giving Rumi a ‘I don’t know what else to do’ look.

“How is this helpful?” Rumi asked with an eyeroll.

“It’s helping me a lot.” Mira said with a raised eyebrow.

“Waahh, I can’t believe you got all that wisdom just from looking at her!” Zoey smiled. The doctor turned over to her, eyes suddenly wide as he started to look deep into her soul as well. “Wait, why’re you looking at me?”

“I see… Eagerness to plead. Maybe a little too eager.” The doctor spoke.

“What? I’m not like that…” Zoey said before panicking, “You guys would tell me if I was like that, right?”

“Um…” Before you could give an honest answer, the doctor turned to look at you.

“I see… silence. Your soul is quiet and seeks to be loud again.” He said before turning to Mira. You paused, pursing your lips before looking back down at the ground.

Mira and the doctor stared at each other, making groans and grunts of annoyance before Mira bit back and the doctor shied away. “Yeah, that’s right.” Mira smirked.

“Okay,” Rumi cut through the both of them, “How does this help me get my voice back?”

“As I said, in order to treat the part, we must understand the whoooole.” He created a circle with his hands.

Rumi groaned, rubbing her hands over her face, “That’s great and all, but I thought we were just here for your tonics.”

“Can we just pay for the tonics now?” You asked, holding up your credit card. He nodded and as soon as you paid for the box, the three of you exited outside and waited for Rumi to come back with the medicine to help her voice.

You yawned, stretching out and pulling off your hoodie to scratch the back of your neck. “Hey guys, do you think after this we could get some persimmons?” You asked.

“Hm? Why? Are you making jam?” Zoey asked. You shrugged and pulled your hoodie down over your face.

“Just woke up craving some, thought it’d be nice to have something other than what we’re eating now.” You explained, glancing at Mira. “We could probably pick up some Boba on the way?”

Mira gasped, “Yeeessss.” She nodded. You laughed at her happy expression before seeing Rumi exit the door.

“We got the tonics! We got the tonics!” You three all cheered and started walking alongside each other.

“Yay! Once your voice is fixed, we can get back to the important stuff, like the fans.” Zoey grinned, latching onto Rumi lovingly.

You suddenly paused, hearing muttering from around the corner before seeing a couple of shadows. You widened your eyes as Zoey exclaimed, “Fans?! We can’t let them see us here, hurry!” Mira, Zoey, and Rumi hid behind you to which you sighed at.

“Guys, we’re in disguises for a reason.” You said, pulling up your mask, “This is why you wear masks.” You walked forward only to pause again at the… Surprisingly good looking dudes walking down the alleyway?

Mira, Zoey, and Rumi peeked out from behind you, eyes wide at the sight of them. “Woah…” Zoey and Mira said, eyes wide and mouth agape.

You and Rumi exchanged glances before shrugging. “So hot…” Mira muttered. 

Rumi grimaced. “Ugh, you guys are so gross…”

You kept your expression neutral, but you had to agree that they were definitely handsome. You turned to look at Rumi, about to speak before the black haired man nudged into her and made her fall. You widened your eyes as the box slipped out of her hand and caused the tonics to scatter everywhere across the cobbled street. 

“Uh…” He brushed his shoulder, “Watch yourself.”

Your eye twitched and you placed a hand on his shoulder, “Hey, apologize to my friend.” You crossed your arms.

“Hm?” He turned to look at you before you could see his eyes widening slightly and the faint sign of his pupils dilating. 

You frowned, recognition lighting up in your eyes. That guy did look sort of familiar though… Did you know him? No… You’re usually good at faces, you definitely didn’t know him. “Apologize.” You gestured to Rumi, “You’re the one who bumped into her.”

He scoffed, turning away and giving a half-assed apology, “Sorry.”

You sighed, rolling your eyes. What a child. There was plenty of space between Rumi and the rest of the street, he just happened to bump into her and make her fall because he was immature. You could never be with someone who had a horrible personality.

You knelt down next to the two other girls, helping them pick up the rest of the tonics. “What a jerk.” You shook your head.

“Yeah, they’re not even that cute.” Zoey frowned.

“They’re so bleh.” Rumi shook her head.

“They’re so…” Mira fake gagged as she threw another tonic in the box.

You all retched before hearing a funky beat come from around the corner. “Hm?” Your expression contorted from annoyance to curiosity.

You, Rumi, Mira, and Zoey all peaked from around the corner to see a puff of pink smoke fill the air. Zoey adjusted her hat while Mira pushed up her glasses. You pulled Rumi’s hoodie over her head and tightened yours with the strings.

The four of you walked towards the pink cloud of smoke, wondering what was happening before seeing a silhouette peak through. Then, all of a sudden the boys from before started to dance and sing.

“Don’t want you, need you. Yeah, I need you to fill me up.” The lead singer, the black haired one that bumped into Rumi, sang. You had to admit that his voice sounded pretty good.  “Masigo maysyeo bwa do seonge chaji ana.”

“It’s those stupid jerks again!” Rumi realized. You sighed, so much for those persimmons.

An old lady burst through your group, hands reaching to grab the lead singer. “Got a feeling that, oh, yeah. You could be everything that-” He pulled his chest forward, somehow pushing the grandma away with his… Charm? You wouldn’t exactly call it that, “That I need, tastes so sweet!”

“These guys are a boyband…” You muttered, eyes narrowed. Usually you wouldn’t be so hostile, it wasn’t like you to be this… Annoyed. But something about that black haired boy’s face made you want to… Violently bash a soda can into it.

“Looking like snacks!” The one with his eyes covered put his hands up as another with light pink hair moved to the front.

“‘Cause you got it like that.” The boyband moved to the side to allow one with a yellow beanie move forward with undeniable confidence.

“Take a big bite, want another bite, yeah. Neoui modeun geol nan wonhae, wonhae, wonhae Neo malgon modu pyeonhae, pyeonhae, pyeonhae!” He moved to the side, all of them going down a line to reveal the black haired one drinking… One of Rumi’s tonics?!

“Seriously?! I paid full price for those things!” You scoffed, crossing your arms and turning your head away.

“Can’t let go, no, no, not tonight.” They all shook their fingers in scary synchronization before posing so the black haired boy, which you assumed was the leader, could sing. 

“Jigeum dangjang nal bwa sigan eopjana.” He sang as he placed his hands on his chest. The others parted, now standing in a more horizontal zigzag.

“Neon naekkeoya imi algo itjana.” The boy with the light pink hair’s voice was soft, a surprising falsetto coming from his throat.

“‘Cause I need you to need me,” The leader sang, all of them gathering into a straight line as they harmonized. You raised your eyebrows, somehow their harmonization didn’t sound crunchy despite them being a new boyband? They probably had someone else write and produce their songs then. “I'm empty, you feed me so refreshing. My little soda pop.”

“You're all I can think of, every drop I drink up!” They moved their shoulders up and down, smug smirks on their faces. “You're my soda pop, my little soda pop.”

Zoey smiled, moving her shoulders along with them before noticing you staring at her with a raised eyebrow. She immediately stopped, but continued to move her shoulders slightly with Rumi as well.

“It is annoyingly catchy though.” Rumi muttered.

“It’s infectious.” Mira said.

“You can say that again.” You pursed your lips before widening your eyes. There were faint markings crawling up their exposed arms, purple markings. You looked back at the leader, who was… Oddly staring at you for some reason, and noticed a flash of yellow sparkling through.

You all gasped unanimously. “They’re demons!”

“Magicians!” You, Rumi, and Mira eyed Zoey for a moment before she quickly corrected herself, “Demons. Obviously demons.”

“Uh, make me wanna flip the top. Han mogeume, you hit the spot.” The one with a baby face stepped forward, everything about him seemed sort of nonchalant but you had a feeling it was definitely an act considering they were demons and surrounded by souls they could eat. “Every little drip and drop, fizz and pop, ah. Soreum doda it's gettin' hot.”

“Dang, they’re good.” Zoey admitted with a sigh.

“Incredible.” Rumi nodded, “But a demon boy band? Why?”

“I don’t care. A demon’s a demon. We kill them.” Mira said, eyes trained on them like a german shepherds as she stepped forward.

“No, it’s too public.” You said, catching the pink haired girl’s wrist.

“What if they try to kill these people?” Mira asked.

“It doesn’t look like they’re gonna hurt anyone.” Zoey said, trying to give them the benefit of the doubt, “In fact, it almost seems like they’re nice demons?”

You, Mira, and Rumi once again turned to look at Zoey with confusion in your eyes. What was she talking about? Nice demon was technically a contradiction! “Demons are never nice!” Mira and Rumi said.

The Saja Boys, or whatever their names were, it didn't matter to you, soon finished their song. The crowd surrounding them erupted into cheers and praise.  You didn’t mind that they were doing this, but they were jerks. Maybe if they were nice you would’ve been like Zoey but they weren’t.

You stared up at them before ultimately deciding that this was worth your time. At least now, you had a new objective to do while Rumi healed her voice. Kill the demons.

You felt eyes on you, turning back to see the leader staring at you once again. You tilted your head before ultimately leaving with the other girls to go get ready to defeat them. Why was he staring at you?

He probably knew you guys were Hunters so that meant he was targeting you specifically. Fine. Then you supposed that meant going after him first.

[straydogged]

:3

[lightasthesun]

just wanted to thank everyone that's been encouraging me or offering some kind of support the last few times I talked about getting a cane... because I went and got one today and I didn't think it would make that much of a difference. I underestimated how much it would change for me.

So thank you <33

[milo-is-rambling]

Growing up w a mom who both wants to talk to you about all of her feelings but also somehow doesn’t know how to talk about your feelings but also she’s your best friend and also she’s done so much for you but she ruins your day constantly and you love her but you haven’t told her that in months when she says she loves you you say “yeah” and walk away and she’s sick and you’ve been asking her every time you get up if she needs anything if she wants the bong packed if she needs water food whatever and then the one time I’m nauseous making food for myself (eating for the first time today at one pm) she leans into the kitchen and asks me to make her scrambled eggs and I said no maybe after I eat and she said okay and then went back into her room and then I took my food and went into my room and was just eating when she came into my room to yell at me and cry about me not ever helping her and I said no I can cook after I eat a little I was nauseas and she was just like [yelled through tears] no I’m making myself toast you don’t need to do anything for me! And slammed my bedroom door and went loudly crying across the house and now I’m just in my room like oh okay 👍 thanks ! So I might go to the library for a bit maybe and listen to my mommy issues playlist on the way there and sob

[doberrrman]

I have this feeling that I have unofficial beef with my neighbor...

[lunar-fey]

ohhhh my god. okay. so. my aunt does like, she buys random junk in bulk from retail wholesalers and then resells it on like, facebook marketplace and ebay and stuff. whatever. so my mom works for her. makes a flat $50 a day, regardless of the fact that shes disabled and doing hard labor for at least 8 hours a day, often 10+. and min wage here is $10 an hour but mom argued that $50 a day is still more than what she would make working the same hours at an actual job because of taxes...like girl that would be 50% taxes. you do not pay that fucking much. so thats already Bad.

but today mom shows me a video of a knife theyre gonna sell, and i watch 2 seconds and i realize its an automatic knife, and i tell her hey. thats illegal to possess in this state. let alone sell! and mom is like ohhh [aunt] knows what shes doing itll be fine.... we sell knives on there all the time she just doesnt put pictures and calls them something else on the listing to get around fb/ebays policies :)

LIKE. HELLO. THATS NOT BETTER. YOURE COMMITTING MULTIPLE CRIMES. *AS YOUR JOB.* and she was just like "its not a big deal she knows what shes doing." folks, this is the same aunt that, very illegally, paid me to sort through her clients confidential tax documents and bank records and stuff. because she works for a bank. and took the records home to sort them. i dont think she DOES know what shes doing, actually!

[radiates-confusion]

So uhhh, I left my house 👍 and now you get bus chronicles!

This stop is both quiet and provides cover from the rain! And yk what, I might've missed the earlier bus because I decided to walk to this stop, but here I don't have to compete to sit down, or to work out who's getting what bus, I ge tto Just patiently sit and wait in a known quiet space! Perfection ✨

Anyway, there are snails on the wall across from me and I think that's call. They're climbing it ^ ^

[paragonrobits]

some important calvin and hobbes facts in case you haven't read the original comic strip in a long time or only absorbed stuff on it from memes and out of context bits on here:

Calvin's last name has never been given, and neither has any of his parent's names. This was actually why his uncle Max only showed up for a brief storyline; the creator of the comic, Bill Watterson, ultimately felt that while it was fine to have him as someone for his parents to talk to, it felt far too awkward to never have Max refer to them by name and he never made a return appearance.

The general tone of the comic is fairly light-hearted, with a big emphasis on goofy slapstick comedy contrasted by clever wordplay and often surprising adult-centered jokes that'll hit you like a slap. A big part of the comedy is, as Watterson put it (paraphrased) "It's really funny to me when people express deeply stupid ideas with really fancy terminology." One notable example you might have seen is that one bit where Calvin asks his mom for money to buy a Satan-worshiping rock album and his mom replies that there's nothing genuine about them and they're just putting on the attitude for shock value, and comisserates with Calvin as he deplores that mainstream nihilism can't be trusted. He concludes that childhood is disillusioning.

There is a LOT of criticism of the extreme materialism and selfish mentality of the late 80s, when the comic was initially written. This may go a long way to explain how its aged so well; much of what it criticizes resonates well with people today.

Bill Watterson views comic strips a legitimate form of artwork, and repeatedly fought to have more space to draw more beautiful and artistic backgrounds, which was a very hard fight and unpopular even with other comic strip artists. He eventually did win some compromises and a lot of Calvin And Hobbes' artwork shows it, with the use of space to indicate time as well as a sharp contrast between the often plain environments of mundane life contrasted by the wildly beautiful imagery of Calvin's imagination (which often sports realistic depictions in an art shift of sorts).

Hobbes is explicitly not an imaginary friend, by word of Watterson himself. We don't know WHAT he is exactly, and Hobbes is apparently unaware of the strange nature of his reality; people look at him and only see an ordinary stuffed tiger plushie, but he has a tangible effect on the world that would be physically impossible for Calvin to do on his own. He's apparently been around for a while, and was apparently around when Calvin was a young baby.

On that note; Hobbes has implicitly killed (notably treated as both a gag and also with the vibe of 'he's a tiger, duh') and while he doesn't do it again on-screen, he doesn't have any moral issues about it. Calvin claims that he's never had trouble bringing Hobbes to school because the last time he did, Hobbes killed and ate a bully named Tommy Chestnut and simply comments that it was gross and he needed a bath. Calvin's tried to repeat this again, but Hobbes was grossed out at the thought having to eat a kid raw and not being allowed to use an oven first, or complaining that children are too fattening.

Hobbes became gradually less human-like in body language and more like an actual cat in both body language and behavior; this was due to Watterson drawing more inspiration from his cat, who also inspired a lot of Hobbes' running gags, such as pouncing on Calvin when he got home. Several years into the syndication of the strip, Watterson's cat passed away, and he did a tribute to her with a comic strip of the two of them agreeing to try to dream together so they can keep playing when they have to sleep; Watterson's commentary (if I recall right), remarks on his cat: "We can see each other again in dreams."

[silvershayde]

Sometimes it really feels like me my sister and my mum are the only ones who actually take care of my cat

[cathnospam]

Bakugo makes you laugh, A LOT and it drives him insane.

“It was not that damn funny.”

You try to conceal the snickers from your mouth, but fail horribly. All he did was mutter something about Mineta being a punk ass and it had you giggly.

At first he used to take offense by it, maybe you were laughing AT him and not what he says, almost like mocking him, that wasn’t until Deku quickly explained in passing that you laugh very easily.

But you don’t laugh this damn much with anybody else but him. At this point he thought you had a similar quirk to Ms. Joke, and he nicknamed you Giggles.

You both were studying in the library like you both usually do during exam week, and Bakugo noticed you haven’t been Miss. Cackle the past few days. Not even a smile actually and you’d think it would have been some relief for him from hearing your laugh obxonious laugh, but he’s actually more annoyed.

He looks up from his book and glances at you across the table, you’re typing away, with a less that neutral look on your face. Lips somehow forming a pout and eyes looking droopy. He scoffs going back to his work, but it was an itch he needed to scratch with you..?

“Who pissed in your breakfast.”

“What?”

“You been looking like a sad lost puppy all week what the hell is your problem.”

The corner of your lips cracked upwards a bit, almost as if you were fighting to smile, but instead you shrug, “‘Nothing you needa worry about. Why.”

It was almost concerning how calm you sounded. Your voice was more tame that you didn’t even sound recognizable which make Bakugo crease his brows, “You suck at lying. Is it, because of that shitty boyfriend you have pissed you off.”

He was referring to Shindo, he wasn’t your boyfriend, but he was a guy you got close with after meeting him a few years ago, but Bakugo was half right he was part of the problem.

You had a small crush on Shindo , but overheard him tell his classmates how he isn’t into you like that mainly because you’re not his type and how much he can’t stand how loud you talk/laugh sometimes.

It hurt hearing it, when he found out you heard he tried apologizing but you didn’t wanna hear it, so since then you’ve turn self conscious about speaking and laughing too loudly for the past week to avoid anymore issues that you have caused with people.

After slowly explaining to the Blonde he rolled his eyes, “You’re ganna let the walking vibrator dictate your life too? So stupid.”

“You hate my laugh too. What does it matter.”

Bakugo stayed silent for a moment while you went back to work. Thinking how could he word what he wants to say without sounding like an idiot, “I never said that, besides you never stopped even when I did tell you your laugh was annoying. If you want to cackle like a hyena who gives a fuck—“

You break into a snicker but end up covering it with your hand. He cracks a proud smirk, he almost forgot what you looked like with a smile, “I don’t wanna be loud. Just can’t help it.”

“We know.”

You giggle at his deadpanned voice, it really wasn’t your fault, you’re just so easy to please and Bakugo knows that, “Giggly ass, and I seen you almost laugh when Denki tripped at the lecture today.”

“Becauuseee he is always so dramatic when he falls.” You whined into a chuckle, sharing a small one with him.

It was a start of many more shared laughs after studying, Katsuki even tried to be just a LITTLE bit more funnier than usual when walking back to the dorms. When you finally cracked a real loud one out he felt himself grinning at you.

“Katsuki Alexander Bakugo are you smiling?”

“Don’t you EVER say my full name like that again got dammit I will blow you the hell UP!”

You almost fall to your knees of how funny his reaction was to you, it felt so good to smile again. You missed it, and so did everybody else the next day apparently.

Mina and some others thought you were depressed, Deku assumed you were sick, Denki outwardly blamed Bakugo which got him smacked, and IIda actually missed your loud noises as well.

Your classmates enjoyed your presence more than you thought they did.

But Bakugo missed it the most.

Your laughs drives him insane, because he loves to hear them.

[littlelamy]

“what is up daddy gang—it’s your founding father Alex Cooper with Call. Her. Daddy. and today…” she leans into the mic, grin wild like she’s about to spill government secrets, “we’ve got the it-girl of the fashion world, THE queen of ‘oh that’s just my friend,’ and apparently—allegedly—the woman giving drew starkey something to smile about. y/n l/n, welcome to call her daddy .”

you giggle smiling, eyes sliding to the side where drew sits behind the camera, legs spread wide in dark-washed jeans, thumb playing with his bottom lip, pretending like he’s not listening to every word.

“hi,” you say, dragging it out slow, lashes batting. “before we start..i’m not saying anything incriminating.”

alex laughs, leaning back. “okay, but you slid into his dms, right? or was this like, a ‘we met at a bar and he begged to buy you a drink while sweating through his shirt’ vibe?”

you snort. “he was sweating,” you confirm. “but he didn’t beg me, just kinda stared. really intensely, like, you’re gonna let me hit eventually kind of stare..it was a little cocky actually.”

behind the camera, drew lifts his brows and smirks, cocky bastard. alex notices, points. “oh my god, he’s smiling! that’s a ‘yeah, i hit it in the trailer’ smile. babe, did he give a good trailer?”

you hum. stretch one leg over the other, slow. “the trailer was very memorable. full mirrors....little couch. we tested the noise insulation. but, before anyone says anything i did make him wait....after two dates.”

“girl, stop,” alex groans, shaking the question cards in her hand. “don’t you dare tease the daddy gang like that. we need details...okay. here’s the real question....drew starkey—giver or receiver?”

your lips twitch as your gaze flicks to the side again, locking with his. he raises a brow, daring you. you bite your bottom lip, slow, then tilt your chin with faux innocence. “he’s a giver....big time.”

alex’s eyes go wide. “like….eat you till you cry type?”

“eat me like a dying man at a buffet,” you reply, voice low. “like, i’ve had to tap out. that man doesn’t quit....it’s a problem.”

“stoppp,” she hisses, fanning herself. “you’re telling me drew starkey is down there with a mission statement?”

“mm-hmm,” you nod. “very passionate about the job...lotta eye contact....makes a mess, and doesn’t care. sometimes i wonder if he’s doing it for me or for a performance review.”

alex clutches her mic like she’s about to explode. “does he, like, talk while he does it? whisper dirty shit?”

“oh yeah,” you grin. “he’s a talker. likes to ask questions he knows the answer to. ‘you like that? that what you needed?’”

“fuck,” she gasps. “he gives boyfriend who’s secretly feral energy.”

“he is—looks like he’d help your grandma with groceries but actually wants to bend you over the hood of your car in a 7/11 parking lot.”

“dead..i’m dead.” alex is crying-laughing. “okay, okay. scale of 1 to broke the headboard?”

you laugh looking at her and then the camera. “we've had to buy a new bed frame, twice.”

alex slaps the desk, next to her, holding her mic closer to her mouth. “DADDY GANG—THIS IS NOT A DRILL.”

“also a wall mirror,” you add casually, sipping your drink.

“he broke a mirror?!”

“well,” you shrug. “technically i did....with my foot. it's a long story.”

drew, behind the camera, drags a hand down his face, hiding a laugh. you wink at him. alex leans in, feral-eyed. “you ever, like..film it?”

you blink and smile slowly. “that’s..not for the free content.”

“i knew it! oh my god! tell me—do you rewatch?” you tilt your head, teasing. “when i miss him on location, yeah. keeps me company.”

alex gasps like it’s pornographic scripture. “he’s gonna make a whole generation of girls delusional.”

you just smile, slow, catlike. “yeah..well..they can dream.”

ᡴꪫ tags below

taglist𑄽𑄺: @rafesbabygirlx @namelesslosers @drewsephrry @maybanksangel @averyoceanblvd @iknowdatsrightbih @rafesheaven @anamiad00msday @ivysprophecy @wearemadeofstardust0 @rafedaddy01 @bakugouswaif @skywalker0809 @vanessa-rafesgirl @evermorx89 @outerhills @ditzyzombiesblog @slavicangelmuah @alivinggirl @rafesgreasycurtainbangs @lil-sparklqueen @rafessweetgirl @esquivelbianca @p45510n4f4shi0n @palomavz @cokewithcameron @donaldsonsgirl @yncoded @lilbunnysfics @solaceluna @icaqttt @alphabetically-deranged @bevstofu @wintercrows @st8rkey

[smutoperator]

Red Hot

Shin Ryujin x Male Reader

Tags: anal, anal creampie, asshole fingering, cock and toy DP, dick sucking lips, dildo, dirty talk, doggy, pornography, POV, redhead, riding, sex on camera, sloppy blowjob, thong, throatpie

Word count: 4329.

You were trying to scout new girls for your adult entertainment agency, but you had been struggling as of late to find new talent. Things were dire, and the girls you had lately taken a look at weren't impressing you much; maybe the prospect of new talents was truly dire.

Until you saw a redhead Asian girl shaking her ass on stage and fell in love with her instantly.

"She's so good, I need to get her number," you said as you watched the tape of the redhead girl, knowing you needed to get her at all costs to film a scene for your studio. "Apparently her name is Ryujin," you said to a staff member. "I have to call her ASAP," you continued. It took a bit, but you finally managed to find a way to contact her.

"Do you want to film a scene with us?" you texted Ryujin. "Sure, but I think I'll need my label's authorization," she answered. "This has to be between us; I don't want anyone to decide for you," you told her.

Ryujin ended up accepting your offer to film the scene; she was initially thinking it was for some drama, but soon she would find out it was a different kind of scene.

As Ryujin entered the studio, she found you finishing a hardcore sex scene with a girl. At first, she felt embarrassed. But before she could say anything, you put your clothes back on and went in her direction.

"I don't know if I can do this. I thought it was going to be a regular scene, not pornography," Ryujin told you. "Relax," you said to her. "What if people close to me see it?" she asks. "Don't be afraid; you can use a stage name. How about 'Red Hot'?" Because that's what you look like with that hair," you said to her.

"Ok, that's a great name," Ryujin answered. "Go to the dressing room and take your favorite outfit from there; we can start as soon as you do," you answered her. "Alright," Ryujin replied, still trying to process what she had gotten into.

"Wow, oh my goodness," you said as Ryujin returned from the dressing room. She had truly chosen the skimpiest possible outfit: a G-string bra and thong along with high heels. "Looks like you are going to pull out an amazing performance today," you told her. "I always do; you can count on that," she said.

Ryujin started making sexy poses in the mirror and smiling as you looked at her beautiful, hot body. Soon, you got the camera rolling. "You like my outfit? I put it just for you," she said, licking the mirror. "It's incredible," you answered. She smiled again. It didn't take long for her to start talking dirty to you. "I've been thinking about your cock all day long; bet it's really hard for me," she said.

"I can't wait for that big cock to be deep in my pussy and my ass," Ryujin kept talking dirty to you. "How did you guess I was gonna fuck your ass?" you asked her as the camera zoomed into her body. "Well, I know most guys would love to," she said, shaking them in front of the camera just like she did in the concert.

"Your outfit is wonderful. Are you ready to be my naughty little kitty today?" You asked Ryujin, the camera zooming in on her boobs. "Of course, I've been so horny," she answered, pulling her bra to the side and letting you pour some slick lube on her cute tits for her to massage them.

"My nipples are so hard, I'm so excited and horny to bounce up and down on that cock," Ryujin said as she grabbed her boobs and played with her small outfit. "Such a nice pussy, I love it," you said as she teased you, playing with her thong that could barely contain it. "I'm so horny, I need that big fat cock, please, stroke it for me, show me how much you want it, get it hard for me," she said.

Ryujin turned around and slowly took her thong down, showing you her tight little holes. She bent over a little, massaging her pussy in front of you and putting a finger in her asshole. "Rub it in for me," you told her, pouring lube on her ass and making it shiny as she kept teasing you and shaking her ass just like she did at the concert. "Imagine that butt sliding down that big fat cock, up and down like this," she said, moving it to show it.

Ryujin truly loved to tease you, smiling from ear to ear as her body got you throbbing. You had filmed countless scenes with many naughty girls, but Ryujin truly had a unique charm. "Use me, use all of my holes," she begged, spanking her own ass. Soon, you took your turn, spanking her butt a bit. "I like that," she said, with a cute smile, before you set your sights on a different target and started rubbing your fingers around her asshole.

"Oh yeah, play with my tight ass. Oh, that feels good," Ryujin says as you start penetrating her butthole with your thumb. "You like that?" you asked her. "Oh, I love it," Ryujin said, letting you stick your thumb as deep as possible. "My ass is very tight," she said, and you could tell as it contracted as soon as you pulled out of it.

You feed your dirty thumb straight into Ryujin's mouth, her enjoying it a lot as she smiled at you, and you gave her a little choking too. She pulled her tongue out as you ran your hands over her body and pulled your pants down. "That cock is nice and hard and ready to fuck me," she said, touching it. "It's all yours today," you told her. "I can't wait to feel it inside me," she said.

Ryujin slowly stroked your cock using her very strong hands. "Look at that cock," she said, getting down on her knees and kissing the tip of it before going down the whole shaft. She teased you a bit with a few kisses and licks, paying special attention to your throbbing tip and making your pant sounds be loudly recorded.

"I love to kiss your cock," Ryujin said. "Can't forget about the balls," she continued, putting them in her mouth for the first time as she kept stroking your cock. You zoomed the camera into her pretty face and worked all over your sack. "That's incredible," you said as she spat on your cock and started finally taking it in her mouth.

Ryujin gave you a very slow-paced blowjob, but her dick-sucking lips were so incredible you were already on the edge. And she knows how to tease, rubbing the tip of your cock in her nipples a couple of times between her blowjobs. "Playing with those hard nipples," she said.

Ryujin sucked your cock like a champion, giving you a blowjob very few girls you had previously performed with had managed to. Her warm mouth, dirty talk, and strong strokes made for a lethal combination, putting you at the edge of your seat from the get-go. "That cock tastes so good," she said, taking it deeper and deeper in her throat. She was very sloppy, coating your shaft with her saliva and maneuvering every inch of it incredibly.

You tried to fuck her face, but Ryujin didn't relent, taking your cock with ease deep in her throat before retaking control of the blowjob. "I love blowing bubbles on that big cock, so big I need to use both my hands to stroke it," she said as she kept working them alongside her tongue to perfection.

You kept panting against the camera, Ryujin's blowjob making you use all your energy just to hold onto the cum that was begging to come out of your cock. She circled her smiling all over it, smiling as she didn't spare

It didn't take long for you to not resist Ryujin's incredible cock-sucking skills and blow your cum out prematurely, forcing you to cut the scene. "Damn, looks like you enjoyed me sucking your cock a lot," she said with the camera already off. "I definitely did," you said, getting on the floor for the next sequence.

"Get that cock hard and we can keep going," you told Ryujin, who promptly obliged as she didn't need much effort to put it back throbbing again, spitting all over your cock as you lay on the floor. "I can't wait to have it inside you," you said to her. Ryujin agreed, but first she needed to taste it a little bit more.

Ryujin dove between your legs, circling her tongue around your balls before moving down to lick your asshole. "Such a nasty girl," you said as the camera followed her face and Ryujin started to make sloppy sounds with her tongue deep in your rectum. She moved her face up and down as she worked her mouth all over your anus, spitting on your balls and licking them as you filmed that amazing point of view for the audience.

"So good," you told Ryujin, praising her incredible rimjob skills. Not every girl has the courage to get down and dirty, even among the best cock suckers, but Ryujin was taking her tongue inside your asshole with the same ease that she sucked your cock. She kept following the camera, looking at it very naturally.

"Are you ready for my tight pussy?" I want you to stretch all my holes today, my tight little pussy and my tight little ass," Ryujin said, looking right at the audience while stroking your cock. She was finally ready to climb on top of that cock as she prepared herself to ride it and got herself in position, but not before you gave her a few instructions.

"Rub it in your pussy," you told Ryujin, who promptly started teasing you, touching the tip of your cock against the entrance of her vagina. "I love that pussy grinding on my cock," you told her. She went a little further, rubbing your tip against her navel. "Can't wait to have it bulging under my belly," she said, also pressing your cock a little between her thighs before finally taking it down her pussy.

"Fuck, it's so big," Ryujin says as she starts having second thoughts, taking only the tip of you inside her pussy. You capture her priceless reaction to the size of your cock. "Oh, it's so big," she repeats, trying to get it deeper in her pussy, bouncing very slowly. "That cock feels so good inside me," she says.

"Do you enjoy watching it go up and down my pussy?" Ryujin asks as she slowly starts to get more comfortable with your cock. "I can feel it stretching me out," she says, your amazing girth filling her pussy to the fullest. She looks at the camera and starts making sensual expressions, grabbing her boobs as she moans riding your cock. "Ohhhh, ohhhh, you make my pussy so creamy," she moans.

Ryujin picks up the pace, you moving the camera to capture every inch of her body. "I love feeling that cock so deep inside me, oh yeah," she moans. You try to push upwards, but Ryujin quickly takes control, her sexy slow ride quickly bringing you to submission. You zoom the camera right into her crotch, capturing her riding your cock in a way the audience can feel fully immersed in the scene.

"Ohhhh, I love to feel every inch of that cock in my pussy," Ryujin says, riding your cock hard and deep just as you zoom around her pussy. She grinds and spins on your cock, riding it perfectly as she rubs her pussy for the audience. "Oh, fuck, oh yeah," she moans, quickly getting wet and dropping a huge load of squirt into the camera that makes her giggle.

Ryujin cleans the squirt from your shaft and your belly as she smiles. "It tastes so delicious," she says. "You're so naughty," you tell her as she sucks your cock and spits all over your cock. "Come here, baby, crawl for me like a kitty cat," you tell her, Ryujin obliging as you put your camera on a tripod and capture her crawling body, giving you a nice gift in the process.

"Ohhh, that's big, but I don't know if it's bigger than yours," Ryujin says as you give her a dildo for her to play with. She strokes and sucks it just like she did to your cock, your camera fully capturing her sexy moves while she plays with her pussy, making gag sounds all over the toy and deepthroating it. "You like sucking it?" you ask her. Ryujin smiles.

"OH MY GOD," Ryujin screams as you get behind her and shove your cock back inside her pussy. The camera captures her reaction perfectly. "OH FUCK," Ryujin screams as you pump her pussy hard as she performs a spit-roasting with the dildo, gagging hard on it as she gets pounded. "OH FUCK, OH YEAH," she moans, you pushing her body closer to the camera and grabbing her hair, relentlessly attacking her tight pussy.

"OH, THAT FEELS SO GOOD," Ryujin moans as you get fully in the frame, topping her with hard thrusts deep in her cunt. She gags all over the dildo. "OHHHHH," she screams as she pulls out of it, giggling and sucking it as you tell her about your next plans.

"I want to put this in your ass," you say to Ryujin, filming her hot body in full display. "Do you think it can fit?" she asks. "Of course, I know you can do everything I ask," you tell her.

Ryujin bends over on the couch, you adding some lube to the dildo as you watch her start shoving it down her butthole. "Oh, fuck," she moans as the dildo anally penetrates her. "Oh my God, that ass is so tight," she says, yet still manages to shove the whole toy in her anus, teasing you as you zoom into her backside to watch her play with it, Ryujin taking the whole 10 inches of the dildo up her butt.

Ryujin moans as the dildo continues to stretch her asshole. "I can feel that cock stretching my little tight ass; I know you want it too," she says. "OH MY GOD, IT'S SO BIG," she screams, but keep going, simulating an anal penetration in front of you to perfection. You capture her moaning face and her incredible ass, eventually not resisting the urge and shoving your cock back in her pussy.

"Oh yeah, fill both my holes," Ryujin says as your cock gets in and double stuffs her. She takes both the fake and real cock with ease, giving away that she's got some previous experience getting double penetrated. "OH FUCK, THAT FEELS SO GOOD," she says, your cock barely inside her as you keep thrusting, Ryujin matching your thrusts with the dildo in perfect sync.

Ryujin's tight pussy squeezes your cock even further now that she's got two massive toys in both her holes to play with it. She giggles as she pulls the dildo out of her asshole to taste it. "You want the real thing, don't you?" you ask her, not even giving her rectum a second to breathe as you already shut it back down with your massive cock.

"OH MY GOD, OH FUCK," Ryujin screams as you anally penetrate her for the first time, muffling her moans with the dildo. She shows she's not intimidated by your massive cock up her butt, moving her hips to meet your thrusts as your hand camera fully captures it for the audience. Moaning and gagging sounds come from Ryujin's mouth as your cock gets deeper in her ass, her shaking it nicely to take all of it while she gags all over the monster dildo, having fun with both her toys.

"OH YES, FUCK MY ASS, JUST LIKE THAT," Ryujin commands as you zoom briefly into her moaning face before giving the perfect view of your cock pounding her ass, immersing the audience almost as if they were the ones fucking her. "Do you enjoy fucking my ass?" Ryujin asks just as your camera zooms into her sexy face.

"Give me that big cock deep in my ass, use my hole, use my tight ass, oh fuck, use it to stroke that cock," Ryujin talks dirty as her tight butthole squeezes your cock to the fullest. "So nice," you tell her, Ryujin licking the dildo as you penetrate her butt.

"Ride my cock," you tell Ryujin, never pulling out as you get down on the couch. "Like this," you tell her as Ryujin starts squatting on your cock with her fit butt, you giving a full body angle to the audience of the incredible ride she's giving you, zooming into her ass just as she grabs her cheeks and spreads them for your cock.

"OH YES, YES, YES," Ryujin moans as she bounces on your cock like a pro, pushing you to the edge as the side of her cheeks hits your legs. Her flaming red hair waves beautifully, creating an effect that looks almost as if she's catching fire. You have to briefly pull out just not to cum, with how amazing she's performing. "Please, put it back in. I want you to use me like your sex toy," Ryujin says, begging like a baby girl to you.

"Put it back inside your ass, you earned it," you tell Ryujin as you recover your breath and hand your cock back to her. Ryujin promptly sits on it, you zooming your cameras as she shakes her ass on your cock sideways, giggling and moaning as she does so, you capturing her wide as close as possible while also taking a look at the reactions in her slutty face as she looks behind to watch herself getting impaled.

Ryujin goes all-in, riding your cock extremely well, taking it all the way deep with fast thrusts. "OH MY GOD IT'S SO FUCKING GOOD, I LOVE HAVING THAT BIG FAT COCK DEEP IN MY ASS," she says, you groaning again, her tight ass squeezing your cock more than ever.

Ryujin knows she's in the driver's seat, spanking her own ass as she squats hard on your cock. "OH, IT'S SO DEEP, MY ASS IS SO FUCKING TIGHT BOUNCING UP AND DOWN THAT BIG FAT COCK. OH FUCK, I LOVE RIDING THAT COCK," she screams as her bounces only get harder, the couch making noises as Ryujin makes you unload inside her ass. This time you don't cut it from the scene, just letting the audience enjoy the way she drained your balls.

"Looks like I'm winning it handily against you," Ryujin says off-camera as she watches you sit to take a little relief. It takes a bit for you to recover from her incredible anal ride, but as soon as you're ready, you pop your cock back in the screen for her to taste her ass. "Taste that dirty ass, baby, suck my cock," you tell her, Ryujin promptly bobbing her head, using no hands, just attacking your cock relentlessly with her dick-sucking lips as you try to fuck her face, but she's so strong she quickly prevails, spitting on your dick to sign her win.

"Lay on your back," you tell Ryujin as she spreads her legs on the couch and starts teasing you, bringing back the dildo into play as she shoves it in her pussy. You're still so numb from the last fuck session you drop the camera just as you were about to start filming her masturbating. "Oh, fuck, oh my God," she moans, her legs fully spread as you soon enter the scene, putting Ryujin in a feet position and pushing your cock back in her ass.

"OH FUCK YEAH," Ryujin screams as you thrust as hard as possible into her asshole. "OH YES, FUCK ME," she begs, pushing the dildo hard and deep into her pussy to match your intense penetration. She giggles and then shoves the dildo up her mouth just as you bring the camera and zoom into her body, giving the perfect view of her ass getting fucked with her pussy wide open, albeit not for long as Ryujin shoves the dildo back inside it.

"FUCK YES, YES, YES, YES, YES," Ryujin screams until she squirts all over the dildo, smiling to the camera as she tastes her juices from it. You stay focused, fucking her ass hard and immersing the audience just like a POV sex scene asks for, capturing all of Ryujin's sexy reactions as she fingers her pussy and facefucks herself with the dildo while you anally pound her. She puts a couple of fingers up her cunt, ready to squirt at any second.

"YESSSSSSS," Ryujin loudly screams as the juices of her pussy cover your cock after a massive squirting, some of it spilling into the camera lenses. "That felt so good," she says with that incredible smile that you already fell in love with. You adjust the camera, taking her into a slow round of ass-fucking, just admiring her beauty as you fuck her like your sex toy, just like she asked before, Ryujin sexy looking into your eyes and moaning beautifully.

"AHHHHH," Ryujin moans as you hit the depths of her asshole. You switch to her pussy. "Oh yes, fuck my pussy," Ryujin says as things get hotter and hotter, the red-hot girl making you want to go on forever. "USE MY PUSSY, YES," she begs. You choke her a bit and share some kisses, showing hot, passionate moments are possible even in the most hardcore scenes. "OH YEAH," Ryujin screams, her pussy getting wet as you fully top her, slowing down with your cock fully buried deep inside her pussy.

Ryujin starts losing her breath, the long pounding finally catching up to her. You sense her vulnerability and pick up the pace, kissing her as you thrust hard and fast inside her pussy, watching her get wetter and wetter. Her legs are so spread her high heels almost hit the camera, you grabbing it to capture her beautiful smile.

"Sit on my cock," you tell Ryujin, her obliging as you give a back view of her getting stuffed in her pussy. You grab her hot body and start pumping up her cunt. As soon as Ryujin gets your cock back inside her, the viewers enjoy her getting used by your massive cock with fast but very passionate thrusts. The only thing they can see is your legs and Ryujin's ass as you pump her hard and grab her butt. "OH MY GOD, OH YEAH, OH FUCK," she moans, losing her breath bit by bit as your hard pounding exhausts her, but despite that, she keeps giggling and smiling at all times.

You let Ryujin sensually grind on your cock, the viewers getting an incredible experience of her moving her pussy around your cock. Her puckered anus winks to them like a camera eye, Ryujin just letting herself get pounded nonstop as you attack her pussy like a madman, the only audible things on tape being her moans and the sound of your hips clapping against her cheeks.

"OH YES BABY, OH YES BABY, PLEASE FUCK ME," Ryujin begs as her pussy gets obliterated. She is tired now, her preparations for the comeback and all those performances at those university festivals that made you fall in love with her finally catching up to her. You stay with your cock inside her pussy, taking a little break to suck her cute tits and share some kisses.

"I want your cum," Ryujin says as she's ready to enter the final moments of the scene. You knew there was only one way to end this scene, as you put Ryujin's pretty face upside down on the couch and started fucking it balls deep, enjoying the saliva coming out of her face.

"Eat that ass," you tell Ryujin as you sit on her face to take a little break, her obliging and licking your asshole as you wipe it on her face and stroke your cock, Ryujin taking a slice of your balls to lick it as well. You quickly go back to pounding her throat, enjoying her coughing and gagging as your cock bulges under her throat while you grope her tits.

You switch the angle of the camera, attacking Ryujin's throat as hard as possible as you give the viewers a back view, Ryujin's throat getting stuffed like a pussy as saliva starts running down her mouth into her face, ruining it completely. You're now closer than ever and know only a few couple thrusts are needed for you to cum. "I want to fucking cum," you tell her, Ryujin gagging as a way to beg for it, her eyes rolling as her face is completely stuffed full of your cock now, loud wet noises coming out each time you hit deep in her throat, your cock all the way down it and even your balls now completely stuffed inside her mouth.

You unload inside Ryujin's throat, pulling out a bit to also shoot a couple of loads in her pretty face, the scene ending with her ruined face covered full of cum. "That was so good," she says just as you turn off the camera. "You're incredible, red-hot girl," you tell her. "Thank you," she says, smiling as you praise her performing skills.

As Ryujin gets ready to leave, you make another proposal to her.

"Come back tomorrow; I need to fill this pussy next," you tell her.

"Hell yeah, can't wait for you to cum multiple times in my pussy," she answers.

[checkeredflagggs]

Credit Cards

Pairing: max verstappen x girlfriend!reader

summary: max needs Ollie and Kimi out of his house — so he gives them his credit cards and a vague list

a/n: another fun one to write 😂 also I laughed so hard at this picture of him…

a/n2: ok so this was kinda requested? Imma be honest — I veered wildly of course from the actual request but I hope you like it anyway

a/n3: also a little something for @sinofwriting who saw nothing!

Masterlist | Rookie Masterlist

Private Messages, Max and y/n

Private Messages, Max and Ollie/Kimi

Private Messages, Max and y/n

Private Messages, Kimi and Ollie

Bluesky

user1: oh my god this was Ollie???

↳user2: if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes…

↳user1: you’d guess it was Charles’ parking??

↳user2: yeah

user3: omg that’s Ollie?

↳user2: and Kimi!

↳user3: awwww that’s so cute — they’re together in Monaco?

↳user2: yup!

user4: i wonder what brought them out??

↳user5: right? Last I knew they were still holed up with max and y/n

↳user4: for my own peace of mind — I’m saying cravings

↳user5: I love that so much

user6: no blood test needed here…

↳user7: not at all

↳user8: god I hope that’s not actually genetic 😂😂

Private Messages, Ollie and Kimi

Bluesky

user9: no way 🤣🤣

user10: did someone actually buy that many diapers???

user11: this is gonna be my new Roman Empire!

user12: omg I saw this too and I swear to god it was Ollie and Kimi!

↳user13: the drivers??

↳user12: yes!

↳user13: seriously???

user14: if these ARE Ollie and Kimi — that’s hilarious. Do they understand how kids work?

↳user15: I’m guessing not 😂

user16: that’s so many — do you think y/n might be having multiples??

↳user17: we don’t actually know when her due date is…I thought, based on size, it might be soon but it’s possible she’s still early and is just having 2 or 3?

↳user18: this is so horribly invasive?

↳user19: absolutely true! It’s (more) likely that Kimi and Ollie just didn’t know how many diapers to buy

user20: god I wanna know how they’re gonna get them back to their house…

↳user21: OMG that’s such a good point — it’s not fit in their car…

Private Messages, Kimi and Ollie

Bluesky

user22: big same!

↳user23: oh to be so spoiled…

↳user22: I’d love nothing more

user24: that was Ollie!! I saw him coming out of the Chanel store!

↳user25: literally start talking rn

↳user24: nothing much to say honestly — he was following Kimi I guess, who like booked it out of the store, and i managed to get a selfie with Ollie!

↳user24: he said something like they were doing some shopping for baby lion!

↳user25: Stop. That’s so adorable!

user26: are max’s adopted kids shopping for his unborn kid right now??

↳user27: that’s absolutely what it looks like

↳user26: I love that more than i can say

Private Messages, Kimi and Ollie

Bluesky

user28: they’re just little kids really

user29: oh that’s so adorable

user30: I swear I saw them stop for ice cream before they went in the toy store

↳user31: well they’ve apparently been out all day — they need a pick me up 😂

user32: ok but I need to know where max and y/n are? Cause you know our chronically online queen has like alerts to her kids names?

↳user33: that’s a good point!

↳user32: she’s been suspiciously absent so far today…

user34: update! They made a bee-line to the LEGO section of the store and are now sitting on the ground comparing different racing sets

↳user35: hopefully not for the baby! That’s bad

↳user34: I’m gonna go out on a limb and say they’re buying it for themselves — Kimi keeps trying to sneak more and more Mercedes sets into their cart and Ollie is just replaced them with the Ferrari and Haas ones

↳user35: omg 😂😂

user36: ok but how do I die rn and reincarnate as a specific baby??

↳user37: same but im like asking for a friend!

↳user38: im not. I need to know for myself

Private Messages, the Pride

Taglist

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[joshujihan23]

You’re safe with me

☆ pairing: mafia boss!seungcheol x girlfriend!reader

☆ synopsis: the mafia scene was something that isn’t unfamiliar to you since your boyfriend is THE mafia boss, so is it surprising that you got involved as well?

☆ trigger warning: mentions of violence, abuse, torture, blood, degrading terms such as weak, mentions of injuries such as bruises, cuts, scars.

☆ author’s note: my LONGESTT fic yet. not sure how i feel about this.. do let me know how it is!

————————————————————————

you were overwhelmed with fear, your eyes shielded by the numerous tears filling your eyelids, dripping down your cheeks simultaneously.

you were exhausted. frightened. nervous, anything relating to fear.

your hands were tied with thick, rough rope, and trapped behind the chair you were sitting on. your legs scarred, filled with bruises and cuts from the whips given by his enemy’s subjects. their sinister laughs, their amused expressions, were printed in your brain.

and the scene when you got kidnapped, was replaying again and again. apparently seungcheol betrayed his best friend, alex. and his revenge? kidnap his love of his life, torture his beloved, until seungcheol strikes a deal with him.

and best believe, you knew who the enemy was. the person that ‘fought for you’ against seungcheol.

which in the end, seungcheol won.

and he is here today to get his revenge, after he has risen in placings in the mafia scene.

but whatever that got you in this situation didn’t matter to you at that point. the pain, the fear in you, took over your mind, leaving you to dread whatever that was coming up next.

you heard footsteps approaching, slowly but firmly. you sighed with a shaky breath, preparing yourself for the worst.

it has been hours, and seungcheol hasn’t arrive.

and that is killing you slowly but surely.

just then, you felt a hand, rough and callous, grip onto your cheek. you winced, looking up at him weakly.

only to see that it was alex, with an evil smirk plastered across his face.

you gulped, trying to move your face out of his grip.

only for him to return with a harsh slap across your cheek, making you yelp in pain.

“your prince charming isn’t coming, love. just give it up.” he snickered.

“he will, he definitely will..” you mumbled.

his eyes gazed down your figure, his smirk widening as he does so. he took a step forward, his tall figure standing before you, making you gulp. he grabbed onto your cheek harshly, his cold hand come into contact with the small bruise forming on your cheek from all the torture you’ve been facing, making you wince.

that made alex chuckle darkly, giving you another slap across your cheek.

“such a weak woman, are you? need your knight in shining armour to continuously save you. guess what, pretty? he isn’t coming.” he said in a mocking tone, his eyes shifting to the orange glow at the corner of the dark, eerie warehouse.

the sun is setting. is seungcheol not going to come soon?

before you could even turn to face the sun ray creeping into the warehouse, you felt alex harshly gripping onto your chin.

his face inched closer to you, his breath hitting the tip of your nose gently, a stark contrast to his menacing gaze.

“i fought so hard. i fought so hard so that you could be mine. but what did my dear best friend do? steal you from me. if you were mine, we won’t be having this issue here, darling.” he spoke, his voice low and dark.

he let out another dark chuckle, his other hand gripping onto your thigh tightly.

“now, let me enjoy this time with you. the time which i longed for for all these gruelling years..”

his voice lingered at the end of the sentence. before you could even say anything, he smashed his lips onto you, making you yelp. panicked, you started to fumble on the chair, making some efforts to remove the string that tied both of hands behind your back.

but alex didn’t back down. in fact, he grabbed your cheek harshly with his hand, while using the other to hold your body down on the flimsy chair.

before you knew it, you felt his cold hand playing with the hem of your shirt, as it creeped underneath it. feeling the chills going up your body from the sudden contact, you yelped, but was quickly silenced when he bit your lip recklessly, penetrating his tongue into your mouth, exploring every single inch of it.

you tried, you tried everything in your ability to stop him. you wanted to yank your leg forward to kick him, but his grip on your thigh was so, so strong.

and that’s when you heard a rip.

puzzled, you looked down, only to see that your shirt had rip, due to how old the material was.

alex cackled, his eyes widening in disbelief.

“lord and behold, such smooth and milky skin. tempting, are we?” he growled.

his lips returned to attack yours, his fingertips grazing against your chest, making shivers go down your spine.

“don’t be scared, sweetie, let me take care of you.”

and that moment, you hear gun shots fire right outside the warehouse. cursing under his breath, you could almost see the screws in his brain turning, as he continued to make out with you.

“shh, don’t be frightened, princess. let me just feel you a bit more.”

his hands creeped down your body, reaching against your thigh. he squeezed it harshly, making you flinch. he hiked your skirt up swiftly, his fingers brushing against your inner thigh.

no. he can’t do this. he just can’t.

you tried to shake him off, but he just won’t budge. feeling the tears trickling down your cheeks, you heard the large, wooden door burst open.

“get your hands off her.”

startled, you saw that alex turned his head, his smirk widening.

your eyes glanced to the door as well, and you couldn’t be more relieved.

seungcheol, standing right there, with all his other members.

alex got off of you, brushing his hands together, while walking towards seungcheol with a menacing grin.

“well, well, well. look who we have here?” alex announced.

you saw seungcheol whispering to his other members, as they began to scatter.

“let’s end this with a duel, the first to surrender, loses.” seungcheol declared, his right hand playing with his gun skilfully.

“fine, but no weapons, fair and square.” alex rebutted, throwing his gun aside.

“deal.”

and it all began, the fistfighting. the two men began throwing punches at each other, kicking the other with full force. seungcheol swung a fist against alex’s cheek, making alex return with a strong kick against his legs.

invested in the fight, you didn’t realise that your hands were free, and a pair of arms wrapped around you.

you turned around, to see that it was jeonghan, seungcheol’s most trusted member, and certainly your favourite except for seungcheol.

he placed a hand on your head, trying to reassure you as much as he could.

“you’re safe with us. your injuries, does it hurt, how much does it hurt.”

with this many questions, you could guess that he was trying to distract you from the fight. but your eyes remain glued onto the two men, who behaved relatively animalistic.

seungcheol seemed like he was winning, until alex kicked onto his leg harshly, making his knees buckle. he knelt in front of him, before alex pulled out a knife from his pocket, grazing it against seungcheol’s neck.

“it’s over, buddy. just give up and give me your girl, and we’ll be all good.”

your eyes widened, you wanted to go to him, but jeonghan pulled you back, telling you that it was too dangerous. but seungcheol kept his menacing gaze, his eyes fixed onto alex.

“you will never get her, you aren’t good enough for her.”

you heard seungcheol wince, watching closely, the knife dug deeper in his neck, blood dripping onto the knife slowly.

frightened, you did the thing that only seemed right to you, although it might be deemed as rash.

you escaped from jeonghan’s arms, scurrying onto the floor, and

BANG.

the shot fired, silencing the entire room.

the entire room stood still, almost as if time has stopped.

the body fell on the ground, limp and bleeding, but he was still breathing, since his chest was still rising, slowly but surely.

your hands clenched onto the pistol, your hands shaking from the shock you have. your eyes darted around, only to land on seungcheol.

his facial expression was unreadable, the blood on his neck still dripping.

and that made a wave of fear rush over you, as you watch seungcheol walk towards you.

“i-i’m sorry i didn’t know why i did that i-i was just so scared i’m so-”

and that’s when you felt his soft lips on yours, his hands wrapping around your waist gently. his kiss was so soft, so gentle, yet there’s a lingering feeling of possessive, protectiveness.

at the familiar touch, you gave in immediately, returning the kiss.

breaking away, he placed his forehead against yours, taking that moment to calm his breathing.

“you did the right thing, princess. if it weren’t for you, i would have lost you completely. you’re so brave, so so brave.” his hand ran through the strands of your hair, brushing it away from you.

he looked down, seeing the complete mess that you were in. the torn shirt, the crumped skirt, and most importantly, your injured body, his heart broke almost immediately.

he took off his jacket, wrapping it around your body, making you wear it.

“it’s going to be cold, wear this so that you won’t fall sick, alright?” he mumbled, his sweet tone lingering in the air.

“cheollie..” you sighed shakily, your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer to you. you buried your head into his neck, feeling his blood trickling on your neck. you held onto him tightly, your breath becoming more and more shaky from fear.

that absolutely broke seungcheol’s heart. the only times when you actually called him ‘cheollie’, was when you were scared, when you had so much fear in you it hurts his heart. that made him pull you closer to him, as if he was protecting you from the rest of the world.

“you’re safe with me now, princess. i’ll protect you better, i swear.” he mumbled, his breath tickling your ear gently.

“sorry to.. ruin the moment. but what are we doing with this animal?”

the both of you turned around, to see joshua leaning forward, watching alex carefully while kicking his unconscious body.

“leave him here, we’ll teach him a lesson.” seungcheol spoke, in such a simple, yet evil tone.

he turned his attention to you again, his eyes softening at the sight of your tear-filled, doe eyes.

“i have one favour of you. tell me everything he did, and that will determine my punishment for him tomorrow.”

————————————————————————

the soft music of the movie played in the background, the sweet scent of the candle he lit up filled the room.

after the both of you got home, he immediately carried you in bridal style, and towards your bedroom. he sat you down on the mattress, while examining the state that you are in.

the bright, bruising red mark on your cheeks, the ones that he always hold on to seek comfort. your torn shirt, the shirt that you always told him not to throw away because it meant so much to you, but because of today, it got destroyed. your thigh, covered in red marks, with bruises and cuts trailing down your leg, the pair of legs he just loves to touch because it was just so, so soft.

and most importantly, your lips. the pinkish, soft lips that he loves to connect his lips with, was now bruised, swollen, and split.

he cupped your cheeks, gently so that it won’t trigger any pain when he did so. but seeing you wince softly at the touch, his heart immediately broke.

he placed his forehead against yours, letting out a shaky sigh.

“fuck, i didn’t want this job of mine to danger you. what did i do.. i’m so sorry princess. i’m so sorry..” he mumbled gently, his eyes tracing your face.

your gaze was locked onto his, watching his eyes soften as he examined your injuries. seeing the guilt building in him, you quickly placed a finger on his lips, shushing him.

“don’t be, at least i’m safe with you now, right?” you replied, your lips brushing against his.

seungcheol let out another shaky sigh, placing a peck on your lips, giving himself a reminder that you are actually safe with him.

“you’re right, you’re so so right. let me take care of you, please. i need to see you feel better before i can do so myself.” he whispered, his hand grasping onto yours gently.

seungcheol stood up, taking one last look at you, before he walked off to the bathroom. a few moments later, you see him walking back towards you, with a basin filled with water and washcloth in one hand, and the first aid kit in the other.

he sat in front of you, his weight sinking the bed down slightly. he placed the basin on the bedside table, dipping the cloth into it. he wrung it gently, as he brought it closer to your face.

“this is going to sting, be strong for me, okay?” he mumbled gently, waiting for your approval while he continued to stare into your eyes.

when you nodded, he sighed softly, dabbing the wet cloth onto the wounds on your face. feeling the sting, you hissed, your hands clenching onto his arm.

he stopped for a moment, watching how your face clenched up, your eyes closing a little from the pain.

“i know i know, it hurts right? i’ll be quick, i promise.” he said reassuringly.

he seemed to treat your injuries pretty quickly, and before you know it, he was already done. your body was filled with bandages, small plasters, and oilment to treat the bruises. he placed the cloth back in the basin, placing a gentle kiss on your lips.

“you did so well, princess. so good for me.” he praised, a small smile forming on his lips.

you gave him a smile in return, before kneeling forward, while placing a hand on his chest. your eyes was fixated on the scar on his neck, the one he got while he was in the fight with alex.

“relax baby, now it’s my turn to take care of you.” you said softly, holding onto the wet cloth, the same one he used to wipe off the dried blood.

your actions made seungcheol chuckle, his eyes glued to every little detail that you did.

“alright princess, i’ll be good.” he replied, another chuckle escaping from his lips.

————————————————————————

you treated his injuries pretty quickly, while he took the moment to order some food for the both of you to eat.

after all, after a day of fighting and torture, the least the both of you could do was to eat.

and the food came pretty quickly, with the both of you sitting on the couch in the room, with a movie playing in the background, cuddled in each other’s arm, while eating the fried chicken from your favourite restaurant.

taking a piece of chicken, seungcheol placed the meat at your mouth, waiting for you to eat it.

“say ahh~” seungcheol cooed, making you giggle, as you at the chicken.

“i’ll never believe how the most powerful mafia in this country is the softest person when it came to his girlfriend.” you teased, placing your head on his chest.

seungcheol chuckled, his fingers running through your hair, while he admired your facial features.

“well, although you had the mafia boss wrapped around that little finger of yours, you should know that you are in fact, the safest person that anyone can be on this planet, when you’re with me.”

.

.

.

.

.

bonus:

seungcheol walked into the warehouse, seeing that jeonghan and joshua has already tied alex up on the chair, the same chair you sat on yesterday.

“p-please let me go! i’m so sorry for kidnapping y/n let me go please..” alex begged, his eyes desperate and pleading.

seungcheol only let out a mocking laugh, his hand twirling the gun in his hand around.

“y/n shared with me everything that you did, now let’s do the punishment according, shall we?” seungcheol looked at jeonghan and joshua, who gave a knowing, yet menacing smile.

“should’ve known before you kidnapped the girlfriend of the most powerful mafia.” joshua said, while trying to hold back his laughter.

“and trying to win her back? you’re pathetic, even for a normal human being.” jeonghan added, while cracking his knuckles.

seungcheol walked closer to alex, his eyes eyeing down at the man, who seemed smaller, and more afraid, making him laugh once again.

“let’s make it quick and easy. i need to get back to my love. where should we start?”

[dodger-chan]

Inspired by this post by @0nemorestranger Hopefully close enough to what you had in mind

Edit: now on AO3

Lost Media

Steve didn’t realize he’d been humming along to anything until the music cut off suddenly and looped around to start over. The opening riff played for about three seconds before it cut off again.

“Wait, who’s humming?” The question came from one of Steve’s younger co-workers. A part-timer working his way through college. Steve couldn’t remember his name.

“Uh, that was me. Sorry,” he tacked on the apology as an afterthought.

“You know that song?” the kid asked. He sounded like Dustin.

“It’s called Plane of Shadows. I think it’s a DnD reference,” Steve answered. “Band’s Corroded Coffin. Haven’t heard them in years.”

That wasn’t strictly true. Every once in a while, Steve would play the tape he still had. Think about that one summer he’d spent as an unpaid, unofficial roadie. Daydream about what could have happened if he’d known himself a little better back then.

Not too often. Steve wasn’t that much of a loser.

The kid came over and plopped down in Robin’s empty chair. She was out sick today, getting over the flu Steve had picked up last week.

“It is. A DnD reference, I mean,” the kid said. Steve probably needed a better thing to call him; he was probably Erica’s age. “Shit, one of my friends posted that clip to this metal bulletin board. We've been trying to identify it forever. How do you know it?”

“They’re from the same small town I am. We all went to highschool together.” Not that Steve had known their music in highschool. “I don’t think they ended up with a record deal, but they did have an EP they used to sell at concerts. I can bring it tomorrow if you want.”

*********

Steve brought the tape, along with the souvenirs he’d saved from that summer. A couple of photocopied flyers. An ad clipped from a local Bloomington paper for a concert. A wristband from a bar that had marked him as too young to drink. Also his Walkman. Steve wasn’t sure if kids still had cassette players now that CDs were everywhere.

“This is so cool,” the kid - Brian, apparently - gushed when Steve handed him the shoebox he’d brought it all in at lunch. “Is it alright if I scan these? And can I borrow this tape? I want to digitize it and share the full song with the board.”

“You can do that?” Steve really needed to learn more about computers. Just not from Dustin who couldn’t teach anything without turning into a condescending asshole.

“Yeah, just record from the Walkman like it’s a mic. I’ll burn you a copy of the whole EP. That way you won’t have to worry about wearing out your tape,” Brian offered. “I would never have guessed you were such a metal fan.”

“I’m not, really,” Steve admitted. Brian blinked at him, surprised. And, well, it wasn’t the eighties anymore, and they weren’t still living in Hawkins. “Massive crush on the lead guitarist.”

“Oh, uh, thanks for telling me.” Brian leaned over and patted Steve’s shoulder. “So you and Robin aren’t-”

“Strictly platonic.” Maybe Robin was right and they should get signs for their desks.

*********

It was nearly a month later when Brian grabbed Steve at the water cooler and dragged him over to his desk, saying “You’ve got to see this.”

This was a post on the Brian’s metal bulletin board:

Crazy to hear from a buddy that our old band is a minor Internet sensation. Thanks, all. If you guys had been around back in the day we might have managed a full album. Or maybe not. Gareth’s parents would have killed him if he dropped out and Jeff actually wanted to go to college, so maybe we still would have broken up in ‘87. Regardless, we’re all thrilled our music is bringing joy to today’s metal heads. As the primary songwriter, and with the agreement of the rest of the band, I grant permission to upload and download the entire EP. We think any money we might potentially have made on it is worth less to us than the value of preserving what could have been lost media. Just make sure to credit us if your garage band turns one of our songs into a hit. Anyway, if you guys have any questions about Corroded Coffin, or the songs, reply to this post and I’ll do my best to answer in a timely fashion. Aside to OP: Is your preppy co-worker who had all our stuff a handsome former jock with spectacular hair? Because I’d love to get back in touch with our old roadie. -EM

“Oh my god,” Robin squealed, leaning over Steve’s shoulder as he read. “Please, you have to give Eddie Steve’s email. Or get Eddie’s email to give to Steve. Or both. Both would be best. That way at least one of them will have the balls to reach out first.”

“Eddie’s already reaching out,” Steve said. “And I thought you said it was anti-femminist to use testicles as a proxy for courage.”

“Stop quoting me when I’m being right, Steven.”

“So I should get his contact info for you?” Brian asked.

Steve hesitated. Real life was not some romantic comedy where attraction was always mutual and true love overcame all obstacles in the end. But it wasn’t like he’d spend the last decade pining. Even if it was nothing more than getting a friend back, it would be good to get in touch with Eddie again.

“Sure,” Steve answered. “Why not?”

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Hey. Hi. Hello. Today I learned about the existence of 15th century Welsh poet Gwerful Mechain and that she apparently has a surviving work of erotic poems.

Please. For Christmas. For Yule. Please tell me more because I can't read Welsh.

Heh heh. Oh, Gwerful Mechain is the absolute best.

(Quick housekeeping to keep the post manageable - I previously wrote about things like cynghanedd and cywydds and englyns and such here, so check that if you need an explanation.)

What's fun is that we don't know a ton about her, because not a lot got written down about people in her time. Her surviving work covers a 40ish year span at the end of the 1400s to just into the 1500s, but we don't know when she was born or died or anything like that. We know her parents' names? And that she was from Mechain, hence the bardic name. And that she married a guy and had a daughter, something which actually does mark out her body of work as different from her contemporaries; being a wife and mother, she couldn't do the usual bardic role of travelling the country to spread news and play at courts. This means she doesn't have any of the praise poetry that a lot of male bards produced about the lords that hosted them.

But, there's stuff we can piece together about her. For one thing, she was not just literate (not a universal skill for anyone at that point, but especially for women), but she was astonishingly well-read and had what appears to be a classical education, given her poetic references and traditional Welsh meters. For another, her work often had recurring themes of religion, sex, and women's rights, sometimes all at the same time.

At the point Gwerful was active, Welsh bardic culture heavily featured ymrysonau. An ymryson is like... well, I hesitate to say "sort of like a rap battle" after the way everyone and their dog now thinks that's what the Mari Lwyd does, but they were like a cross between a rap battle and the publication war between two rival academics. A bard would write an englyn and publish it in the local parish newsletter. Another bard would see this, and write their own englyn about how stupid the first bard's englyn was, and publish it in the same newsletter. The first bard would see this and retaliate. The second bard would retaliate to that. And on and on it would go, like a printed tennis match for all the parishioners to enjoy, until someone wrote a conclusive verse OR until someone went "Lol, you got me good there" and bowed out with dignity. Sometimes, these things were fucking vicious; but other times, they were just banter between two bards who knew each other and were enjoying the chance to keep their poetic skills in tip top condition.

Now, Gwerful was an active and enthusiastic participant in ymrysonau. We have many examples of her work from these. There are two of particular note that I'll list here, each against a different bard:

Dafydd Llwyd o Fathafarn. Mathafarn and Mechain are not so distant from one another, so no real surprise that these two locked horns a lot, but the impression I always got from their ymrysonau is that they were good mates, actually. These fell into the 'banter' category more often than not. Dafydd was a Welsh Nationalist who was hoping for a Welshman to rise up and throw off the yoke of English oppression, and most of his work is about that, but he turned up the filthy erotic shit for any ymryson with Gwerful because BOY HOWDY was that her specialty. IIRC she did occasionally poke fun at his Welsh Nash leanings, especially his obsession with Mab Darogan (OLD Welsh idea that translates to the Son of Prophesy - the Arthur-style figure that will one day drive out the English overlords), but mostly their ymrysonau were incredibly beautifully-written odes that could be summed up as "Dafydd, my man, my good friend, I mean this sincerely: suck my entire clit".

She often won.

Ieuan Dyfi. God, what a fucking asshole. This one was not banter. Gwerful played for blood with this prick.

We actually would know nothing about Ieuan Dyfi if not for Gwerful Mechain, because it was her poetic response to him that meant his only surviving poems made it to the modern day; that, and the record of him being brought before a church court where he admitted adultery with Anni Goch, a married woman. Oh, and the record of him being brought before the law courts at Liverpool, accused of domestic abuse and gambling? If I remember right?

Two things to know that set the scene for what came next:

One of Gwerful Mechain's surviving poems is an englyn considered to be possibly the oldest extant poem about domestic violence written by a woman: I’w gŵr am ei churo (To the husband who beats her)

Dager drwy goler dy galon - ar osgo I asgwrn dy ddwyfron; Dy lin a dyr, dy law’n don, A’th gleddau i’th goluddion.

There are a lot of translations for this one to try to keep its poeticness, but this one is pretty good:

Through your heart’s lining let there be pressed, slanting down, A dagger to the bone in your chest. Your knee smashed, your hand crushed, may the rest Be gutted by the sword you possessed.

She has others, too, that deal with sexual assault, and something scholars often note about Gwerful is her remarkable knowledge of the law as it pertained to women's issues. So she was not, you see, a woman with a high view of a man accused of domestic violence anyway.

But then Ieuan Dyfi wrote five poems about Anni Goch, the married woman he'd fucked, each more "Wow dude, she said no" than the last, culminating in I Anni Goch; a full cywydd of misogynistic Medieval-incel bullshit about how false and evil women are, which listed all the false and evil women of history including classical and mythological figures.

And. Well. Gwerful had some views.

Her responding cywydd - I ateb Ieuan Dyfi am gywydd Anni Goch - basically blasted the guy back into his own impact crater and disintegrated him. What she did with it, essentially, was to mirror his cywydd. Where he'd gone "Isn't it so true how great men throughout history have always been brought low by women, amirite lads? Here's examples", Gwerful went "Isn't it so true how 'great men' throughout history have behaved appallingly and fucked up through their own actions and then somehow managed to blame women, amirite lads? Here's examples." Where his examples had been historical figures, so were hers. Where his had been classical, so were hers. Where he went Biblical, so did she.

And what's so interesting about that last one is how pointed she was with it - for some reason, in his big list of evil women, Ieuan Dyfi did not go for the most obvious and low-hanging of fruit (no pun intended) - he doesn't cite Eve. In response, Gwerful also sidesteps the most obvious and low hanging of fruit - she doesn't cite Mary. In so doing, she makes it clear that she doesn't even need to.

There is no record of him responding to her. IIRC, there is a record of him doing three years in prison.

But! Outside of all of that, the big thing Gwerful was known for was her erotic poetry. You'll be unsurprised to hear that it wasn't written for shits and giggles - much like today, women of the time were told that most of their value was in their looks, and they had plentiful insecurities about their bodies. Gwerful wrote her erotic stuff to confront those insecurities and shine a light on the issue. There are so many examples of this, but far and away the most famous is definitely Cywydd y Cedor - roughly translated, 'Ode to the Vulva'. Though I have also seen it titled Cywydd y Gont - Ode to the Cunt. It's such a shame that the English language is literally, physically not capable of cynghanedd, because it means unless you learn Welsh you will never understand the beauty and the lyricism of the piece, and how it elevates and undercuts the content at the same time; but it's a joyful, masterful, irreverent work that uses the fancy language male poets were forever dedicating to the rest of a woman's body and applies it squarely to the vulva. In fact it basically opens with "Men are cowards, describe more cunts or gtfo" before launching into its main subject matter. The last line is pro-pubic hair, too, like I really must stress how much Gwerful Mechain would have to offer Tumblr if you could speak Welsh. This is probably her most widely translated piece, though, you can definitely find English versions. Although you can tell how blushing and reticent the translator is - and therefore how sanitised their translation is - by whether they've called it Ode to the Vulva/Cunt, or Ode to the Pubic Hair.

Needless to say, the original is not sanitised.

(Actually, I should also say - this one is also a response piece, probably, but in this case to a bard who lived a century earlier - Dafydd ap Gwilym, the absolutely legendary and uncontested king of Welsh romance poetry. He wrote a poem called Cywydd y Gal - Ode to the Penis. I have only just put two and two together on that.)

As a final note, I should say that my personal favourite Gwerful Mechain poem on this subject, mind, is actually I'w morwyn wrth gachu - to the maiden who is shitting. It's an englyn written in Gwerful's customary high poetic form, but it is what it says - it describes a woman taking a shit, and farting as she does. Beautiful and magical and disgusting and banal, all in one go:

Crwciodd lle dihangodd ei dŵr - ’n grychiast O grochan ei llawdwr; Ei deudwll oedd yn dadwr’, Baw a ddaeth, a bwa o ddŵr

Funnily enough, it's hard to find a good translation for this one lol.

My attempt:

She crouched where her water escaped - creased From the cauldron of her heat; Her two holes were arguing, Shit came, and a bow of water

Eh. It's so bland in English. Honestly, if you could read Welsh...

Anyway, if anyone reading this can read Welsh and wants to read some of Gwerful Mechain's stuff - including some of the pieces she was responding to in the ymrysonau - you can find a load here. Otherwise, I hope you enjoyed!