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imaginethebeautifulworld · 3 years

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Let’s say England has a long-term girlfriend he knows isn’t the biggest fan of marriage bc her family had been really really pushy (before she got the heck out of dodge) about her marrying + reproducing ASAP. How might he react if she came to him and said she was kinda starting to like the general concept of marrying him — that is, the whole ‘together forever’ bit. Thanks!

I confess darling that I have been trying to finish this prompt for well over a year, and I offer my sincerest apologies that it’s taken me this long to finish it. Still, despite my tardiness, I hope you enjoy, and I thank you for your patience with me.

You had never intended to fall in love, not with the constant push of your relatives to fall in line like a perfect child.

First, marriage to someone they deemed acceptable, raising the perfect 2.5 children, followed by quietly settling into parenthood and complaisant contentment until the day you last drew breath.

Truth of the matter was, you had avoided all chances of romance for the first few years after you moved away from home, carefully slipping away from anyone who seemed remotely interested in you.

You knew your folks would have disproved such behaviour had they learnt the truth, but you couldn’t find it in your heart to care. You had your own dreams to pursue, your own story to tell, your own life to live; you didn't need someone by your side to feel complete.

You were happy as you were, finding enjoyment in your work and figuring out your place in the world.

You didn’t need, or frankly want, anything more than that.

That was of course until you met him.

Falling in love with Arthur Kirkland had been a complete accident. He slipped past all of your defenses and took up residence in your heart as if he had always belonged there.

It started out slow enough; at first you simply knew him as a familiar face from the cafe in Waterstones, steaming cup of Darjeeling and a chocolate croissant sitting forgotten on the table in front of him, always too focused on his reading to pay any attention to the outside world. After one particularly crowded Sunday afternoon, he began to transition into your favorite dining companion, the two of you often taking turns paying for each other’s food. Slowly but surely, you began forgetting about your books, too wrapped up in conversation, and before you knew it-

You had come to love every part of him- the gentleman that you begrudgingly introduced to your parents, the rebellious and passionate activist, the cocky and playful little shit who had long ago memorised all the best ways to disarm you, and the ancient soul who cared so deeply, who still stretched himself thin most days in effort to protect each of his loved ones.

You fell in love with his voice, whispering sonnets and sonatas and sweet nothings in your ear while his arms cradled you from behind.

You fell in love with his eyes, still losing your footing sometimes when the light caught them just right, dreaming momentarily of summer forests and grassy glades and the misty dews of spring.

You fell in love with his smiles, from the satisfied grin at stirring up Peter’s ire to the breathless wonder each time you kissed or complimented him, to the bright, beautiful, blinding smile he wore when he was incandescently happy, his entire countenance iridescent from his joy.

You loved him completely- for his devotion, for his sweet gestures, for his damned impishness, for his wit, his sass, and the soft spoken affection.

You loved him: for his patience, for his recklessness, for his resilience, for his possessive pride that was somehow more charming than alarming.

He was unique, an enigma that, even after having lived together for years and dating even longer, kept you on your toes, his energy and random spouts of spontaneity proving to you that, even if you spent one hundred lifetimes with him, he would always remain a puzzle you would never fully solve.

And by God did you want to.

Arthur had stolen your heart away from you before you had even noticed he was close enough to take it, offering his own in its stead.

You had remained reluctant, confided in him your fears about settling down, how much you dreaded becoming trapped in a monotonous rut of tedium. He was quick to reassure you, showing through words and actions far more impassioned and teasing than he had ever shown prior, that an eternity with him could never be boring.

Even on quiet days, like today, with a steady drizzle painting the world in greys, Arthur humming quietly while adding another patch to his denim vest, and no other disturbance apart from the cat’s chittering at the robins playing in a puddle by the iron fence- Even now, you weren’t so much bored as you were pensive.

You had been thinking about a future with him a lot in the past few days, some irrelevant ad on your mobile about wedding venues catching your attention and slithering into the back of your mind.

What kind of wedding would he like? Would Arthur prefer something small and intimate, or would his hubris crave a larger venue, giving him yet another chance to prove to the world that he belonged at your side, no one else? You couldn’t help but wonder if he would wear his uniform or a suit, if he would leave the rats' nest he called a hairstyle untouched, or if he would perhaps slick it back in that way that somehow made the normal rakishness disappear, a confident, refined cavalier standing in his place.

You knew of course that none of this mattered unless you actually talked to him first; as far as you were aware, he was content with the current arrangement, and he respected your views of marriage.

He had known, for a long time, just where the grim outlook stemmed from, and he never breached the subject again.

But now-

You had thought it was enough to hold his love, his faith, his vulnerabilities. But life was so fleeting, and now those few things were no longer enough.

You wanted to wake up every morning next to him, wanted the cheesy partners’ towel and flip flop sets. You wanted the physical reminder that you held his heart, the comforting reminder that he completely possessed your own. You wanted to be by his side forever, holding his hand through the good and the ill, facing new worlds and challenges and the uncertain future together.

You knew the risks, of course.

Marriage to a Nation carried an even heavier burden than the simple oath of “till death do us part.”

No, marrying Arthur would mean weaving your entire lives together, binding you on a spiritual level far surpassing mortality; it would mean sacrificing your chance to ever grow old, to eternally give yourself away: heart, mind, body, and soul.

But this was Arthur, who sang showtunes in the shower, who spent hours making silly faces at the cat, who was ridiculously competitive about Halloween costumes, the man who sat down and memorised the entirety of The Tempest in one night just for the bragging rights.

He already owned your heart, constantly invaded your thoughts and daydreams, and God knew he had long, long ago claimed your body, making certain not a single millimeter of his new territory went unexplored.

Would it really be so bad to give him your soul, too?

Glancing back up, seeing his eyes narrowed in concentration, his fingers handling the needle with expert precision, lips slightly parted, reading glasses fallen halfway down his nose-

You knew your answer.

It was always going to be Arthur for you, only Arthur.

Forever, should he have you.

But now you faced the challenge of telling him that.

It should be simple enough; you really held no more secrets from him, and he no longer bothered trying to hide anything from you. You loved how open you were with one another, cherished the honesty that served as the very foundation to your relationship.

But the truth was that you were terrified.

It had been so long since either of you had spoken of marriage, since the topic was even a thought in your minds, and-

What if he didn't want you anymore?

What if he-

"I can see the steam coming outta your ears."

The unexpected presence of Arthur's voice startled you, eyes darting back over to the very man who was unwittingly tormenting you.

He had barely moved from his earlier position, though his glasses had been pushed up into his hair and he was studying you curiously, if not bemusedly.

"You good there?"

By default, you nearly responded with an affirmative, some playful, lighthearted thing that would have dismissed his concern immediately. You cut yourself off mid-start, then, while shifting to sit properly in the armchair, you decided to push forward. "Can we talk?"

You watched as his expression shifted, revealing his concern as he tied off his thread, setting aside the patchwork and gestured for you to join him on the sofa.

There were a few awkward moments where you took up your favourite positions, Arthur tossing an afghan across the pair of you despite your insistence that you didn't need one, the flicker of a grin as you begrudgingly thanked him, and then shifting around as you both got comfortable, but soon enough-

"Alright, now; talketh at-eth me."

It was impossible to fight the smile his choice of words triggered, a reference to an inside joke so old now that you could scarcely recall its origin. Seeming to deem it a success, his own soft, reassuring smile greeted you.

"Seriously though, luv-" His hand came to rest atop your own, his fingers gently tapping a familiar rhythm against your skin. "What's troubling you?"

You were half-tempted to offer something short of sincerity, something innocuous and mundane that you could both laugh over and forget again within a few hours. Yet, you knew that if you didn't tell him now, didn't ask him now, you would never find the courage again.

"I've been thinking-"

"Ah. A scary premise in its own right."

"Oh, shut up," you retorted to his tease, smacking his arm for his troubles. He rewarded you with a grin, all fondness and mischief. Opting to ignore him, you pressed on, eyes downcast to avoid whatever judgement he may offer.

"As I was trying to say earlier, before I was so rudely interrupted-" The teasing fell off, and the worry crept back in. "I've been thinking. About us."

"O-oh?"

Were you not so consumed by your own anxieties, you would have noticed his stutter, would have seen the sudden tension in his posture, the fear in his eyes. As it was, you were completely oblivious to all of it, and made yourself continue at his prompting.

"I- I think I'm ready."

He mimed the word "ready" to himself, parroting it with utter befuddlement. "For wha-"

"I mean, I know I wasn't for such a long time, and-" Suddenly, you were off, half unhinged. Now that you had admitted the truth aloud, it was all rushing out of you, everything you had come to love about him, everything that-

A finger pressing firmly against your lips stopped you mid-tangent, and when you glanced up to find piercing, blazing emerald focused on you as if you were the very center of the universe, whatever remained of your ramblings disappeared entirely.

"What are you trying to say?"

A simple question, so easy to answer, yet it carried with it the weight of Infinities, demanding nothing save the truth, in its most basic state.

You were lost in his gravity, half-drowning in whatever this new feeling was. It was addicting, another riddle to be solved.

"Marry me."

Time stood still, the words weighing heavily in the space between you, now seemingly insurmountable despite being no more than mere decimeters.

Arthur showed no reaction, revealed no indication that he had even heard your plea, your query, your command, your request, and yet it echoed over and over in your own mind, the tone, the weight, the untimeliness-

Every facet- from your inflection to chosen tempo- crescandoed as an accusation, a mocking symphony that he would reject you, that you would be left with only the haunting strains of your ill-conceived proposal.

And yet-

There was a hesitation in his eyes, the face of a man who wanted wholeheartedly to believe what he had heard, but had been burned far too often in the past to dare allow himself hope.

"You-" His eyebrows furrowed, eyes narrowed as he studied you once more, only for the suspicion to disappear again almost immediately, disbelief swiftly taking its place. "You're serious?"

It was then that you finally read his nervousness, understood the strange emotion reflecting in his eyes.

You had lead him to a precipice, the vast Unknown before you both, and-

And he was just as fragile as you were, even if he was better at hiding it.

You gave his hand a light squeeze, hoping to ground you both, and offered him a nod. “If you’ll have me, anyway.”

His eyes flickered between your own, darting back-and-forth so quickly in search of a lie, of any doubts, of any hint that you were less than certain- yet you knew he would find none of that.

“What about your family?”

The question took you by surprise; in the moment, you had completely forgotten anyone else even existed.

You weighed his question carefully. Marrying Arthur would give your family leave to gloat in self-satisfaction, and you knew with absolutely certainty that they would hold it over your head for the next three decades. But looking into the eyes of the man before you, remembering all that you had already seen and done together, you found that others' opinions no longer mattered, really hadn't mattered in a long, long time.

“I couldn’t care less about them. Arth-”

Whatever you were going to say was forgotten as he closed the remaining distance between you, moving so swiftly that you scarcely had a moment to steady yourself before he captured you in a searing kiss, one of his most passionate by far.

Somehow, despite the suddenness of it all, the initial force, the intensity-

He was being incredibly gentle, and moving slowly enough to almost be more a torment than a treat. Almost.

You found yourself lost in a daze when he finally pulled away, just enough for each of you to catch your breaths, just far enough that he could study you with rapt attention. You could have drowned in his eyes, endless greens magnetizing in their intensity. His hands were still cradling your cheeks, still holding you firmly in place, a not completely foreign expression creasing his features.

You couldn't quite place it, even as your memories shifted desperately in search of its mate.

"'If I'd have you?'" His words, a rhetorical refrain of your own mere moments earlier, were scarcely a shared breath between you, murmured in timbre so low it summoned a shiver. There was the smallest twitch of his lip, his head tilting ever so slightly as more of that damned deviousness made its presence known. "I fully intend to have you regardless, luv. But the formality of it all certainly adds a particular je ne sais quoi, wouldn't you agree?"

You'd be damned if he knew just how that made your heart flutter, if he knew just how much weight that reassurance had lifted from your shoulders.

Carefree, content, you offered a playful smile. "Till death do us part then?"

Arthur no longer bothered trying to restrain his smile, soft and sincere in a way that left you breathless. "I'll love you till even the stars go cold, my dear."

Thanks for reading~

#england x reader #aph england #arthur kirkland x reader #hello lovelies~!#hws england #hetalia england #aph arthur kirkland #hetalia arthur kirkland #hws arthur kirkland #reader insert #hetalia x reader #hello lovelies!#readerfic #thanks for reading!#aph england x reader #hetalia england x reader #hws england x reader

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chsamuseum · 3 years

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Learning Cantonese: A Family Adventure

“If flamingos turn pink when they eat so much shrimp, why don't cows turn green when they eat so much grass?”

As parents, we’ve encountered a lot of thought-provoking - and often fun - questions. Some have been easier to answer than others. Some are asked by our kids, others are ones we’ve asked ourselves.

One question I wrestled with was: “Should we try to teach our kids Cantonese - and if so, how?” Trying to decide whether to teach our kids Cantonese was not easy. I spent hours researching, often searching online late at night, thinking through each of our language decisions and options. Then, after finally deciding to teach our kids Cantonese, I spent hours figuring out how to actually do that.

Amazingly, today, our entire household speaks Cantonese! Along the way, we created bilingual Cantonese picture books to support our own learning, which grew into our own indie publisher Green Cows Books, named for the fun questions that emerge out of bilingual learning - and out of parenting in general. Most importantly, we continue to have fun. I'm sharing our story, with all my doubts and second-guessing, in case it helps another parent.

The Green Cows Books logo (Courtesy of Karen Yee).

How I got my entire family into speaking Cantonese

So...how did this turn into a family adventure? How did we go from one native (but limited) Cantonese speaker to the entire household speaking Cantonese? Why do I spend so much time making Cantonese-English picture books?

First, before my son was born, I made the reluctant - but relatively quick - decision that we were NOT going to teach him Cantonese. I was the only Cantonese speaker in our house, and even then, I had grown up in California and mainly learned "around the house" language. While I had attended weekend Chinese school, my reading and writing were limited. Simply put, I was intimidated. Other voices seemed to validate my fears: Parenting forums debated the wisdom of trying to teach kids multiple languages. Well-meaning relatives suggested Cantonese was a “dying language” and Mandarin might be more useful. And of course, there just weren't Cantonese resources available. So we decided to focus our efforts on Mandarin, a language neither I nor my husband speak.

Then my son was born, and things changed. While my Cantonese was limited, speaking English to my own kid just didn’t feel like “home.” I decided that however basic my Cantonese was, I would try to pass it on. If I failed, nothing changed. But, if I succeeded, then my son would speak a "dying language” spoken by 74 million other people around the world.

So I began speaking Cantonese to our son - and this is where everything jumbles together time-wise. It was difficult at first - I felt awkward, and there were words I didn’t know (I had to learn them first!). We introduced Cantonese and Mandarin songs early on, but waited until our son turned 2.5 before introducing Cantonese cartoons (all on YouTube!). It was also tough for my husband for a while - once our son started speaking Cantonese, my husband could not understand what we were saying. But with a little one, we said the same phrases many times a day - "let's go!", "time to eat,” "drink your milk!", etc. Somewhere along the way, my husband learned basic Cantonese.

Meanwhile, I searched non-stop for Cantonese books. I found a lot of books in Chinese and English; some books with Mandarin pinyin or zhuyin; and some books with Cantonese romanization. But I found nothing focused on spoken Cantonese.

So I began making my own Cantonese learning materials. I’d noticed that our board books had images of apples, ice cream and grapes - but nothing with Chinese food. So I printed out pictures of egg tarts, sesame balls, shrimp dumplings, almond tofu and tong yuen to learn alongside words like "apple" and "banana". No disadvantage at the dim sum table for our son! I also included materials to support my husband - primarily key phrases such as “What do you want to eat?” and “I want to eat...” We’d quickly realized that just a few basic phrases go a long way towards communicating with toddlers!

A portrait of Karen Yee, founder of Green Cows Books (Courtesy of Karen Yee).

Our materials worked amazingly well. When we finally took our 2-year-old to dim sum, he recognized a lot of the items. He even tried to order for himself: “daan taat!” (egg custard tart). (Though the waitresses paid very little attention to our toddler.) Eventually, I turned these materials into our first book, “My First Everyday Words in Cantonese & English.”

Today, our older one is trilingual. He learned Mandarin at daycare, Cantonese at home, and English. He was talking nonstop by 18 months. Our relatives generally also agree he has a better Cantonese accent than I do, even though he learned his Cantonese from me. I think he must have applied his Mandarin to Cantonese! His Mandarin is apparently excellent, and he was even chosen to represent his school at a reading contest.

Our 2-year-old is fluent for his age - he and his older brother speak Cantonese, but sometimes switch to Mandarin. While I’ve heard that learning multiple languages simultaneously can cause speech delays, neither of my kids experienced this. I think this might just be personality-driven! My husband now speaks Cantonese. And my mother-in-law also has picked up Cantonese. Being able to speak Cantonese (or even just understand the basics) has made for easier conversations with extended family.

A portrait of Yee’s family, all of whom contribute to Green Cows Books’ language offerings as writers and translators (Courtesy of Karen Yee).

So, where are we now in this learning adventure?

Our books are family activities. Topics are chosen by our kids, and each book is fully kid-approved. For example, every find-and-point-item - such as in Goh Goh and Dai Dai's Big Day with Elephant - is thoroughly tested.

Our Mandarin translations are actually done by our older son. He's been (informally) translating for us since he was able to talk, and translating books pushes him to stretch his Mandarin. He gets to choose kid-appropriate language - and his own pen name - to appear in the books. He’s also now started school - they teach English through what they call “Reader’s Workshop” and “Writer’s Workshop.” We now sometimes write together!

Honestly, I don't have much of a roadmap. Some days, I can't even think ahead to dinner and what we're going to eat. I want us to continue creating books that are useful for parents and for kids, for everyday communication - but even if they're meant to be educational, I want them to be fun and easy to read. As our kids have gotten older, we’ve also moved towards slightly more advanced story books. We're also experimenting all the time. For example, we introduced a few other languages, including in Korean and German (our friends wanted to do their own translations!).

I hope that you will join us on our adventure!

I would love to hear from other parents who care about bilingual education. As a mom, I’d love to learn about what’s worked for you, and how you support your kids with their language learning. For those who are focused on Cantonese (or Mandarin), I'd love suggestions and feedback on future books. Please get in touch!

Written by Karen Yee, a member of the CHSA community. A Cantonese-American mother of two, Karen’s efforts to teach her sons Cantonese inspired her to found Green Cows Books, an independent publisher of bilingual children’s books in seven languages (and counting!). She lives with her family in San Francisco.

#chsamuseum #community connections #chsacomcon #chsa #bilingual education #cantonese #language learning #language #second language #family #family language learning #heritage #children's language learning #chsa community

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thebiasrekkers · 4 years

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Fragmentation 0.1 - JHS

Plot: How does one measure freedom? Are our choices truly our own, or are they part of a preset design outside of our control? We all have a question burning inside of us, though few speak it out. It is the question that drives us forward, seeking purpose in our lives. What is The Matrix?

Rating: NC-17 // NSFW

Pairing: N/A

Warnings: Strong language, allusions of suicide, extreme angst, graphic violence

Links: FAQ || BTS Masterlist || Admin E’s AO3 || [ REQUESTS ARE OPEN ]

Word Count: 2,008

AN: It’s finally here! I know that I am still in the process of updating Make It Right, but I have been dying to get this series off the ground. Especially since no one in the fandom has written in this Universe from what I can see. So I’m super excited to share this with you all. This is the prequel to my upcoming series, Defragmentation, which showcases everyone’s origin stories and how they managed to escape from The Matrix. Because this universe is so extensive, I strongly suggest that people utilize the official Matrix Wiki as a reference point because there will be much in this world that I will not go into in-depth explanations for. Again, if anyone would like to be added to the tag list, please feel free to message us!

Tag List: @aroseforyoongi, @prisczero, @pinkpjmin, @btsaudge (I’m adding you because I purple you; don’t @ me)

© thebiasrekkers (Admin E). All rights reserved. Reposting/modifying our work is prohibited. Translations are not allowed. Plagiarism/stealing is not tolerated by any means. Legal action will be taken in instances of theft.

Sabine saw The Code first.

Just after his fourteenth birthday, Hoseok met up with his best friend after school for their traditional birthday shenanigans. The funny birthday card, the sweet cupcake with a single candle on top, and a handmade present that he knew Sabine spent the better part of three months putting together. That was supposed to be the plan. Nothing changed in the ten years they knew each other.

Instead of meeting on the roof after school, Sabine told Hoseok she would be waiting for him at the abandoned playground on the edge of town. He didn’t understand why she wanted to meet there, of all places. Kids didn’t go there anymore because of a major accident and the lack of upkeep made it look creepy. Going there after the sun went down just gave it eerie vibes.

When he arrived, Sabine was idly moving back and forth on one of the swings. Her eyes looked focused on something just behind him. When Hoseok turned to see if there was anyone there, he felt a chill slide down his back when there was nothing. He wasn’t sure if Sabine was trying to scare him, but it was working.

“Hey, Hobi,” she called to him, standing from the swing to meet him, “you haven’t been using your inhaler lately.”

He tilted his head slightly. Now that she mentioned it, he hadn’t been. The doctor told him to only use it when he felt it was necessary. For the last year, he didn’t feel a need. P.E. wasn’t as hard for him as it used to be and he could run four full laps around the track without feeling winded.

“No, I haven’t,” he replied, meeting her gaze, “but why bring that up, Bean?”

She smirked, brushing past him to stare out across the road. The street lights flickered to life, illuminating the pastel green landscape around them. Hoseok knew that look and it almost always meant trouble. He really didn’t want to get involved with another of her hair-brained schemes on a school night.

“Can you see it?”

He turned to look in her direction, her back still facing toward him. “See what?”

He watched Sabine’s back muscles tense slightly until she craned her neck to look at him. “You can’t see it?”

“See what?” he repeated with a sigh. “I don’t see anything except you being weird.”

For a while, Sabine said nothing. It wasn’t like her to be silent for this long and Hoseok was consciously aware of how hard she was looking at him. He was about to tell her to say something, anything, instead of staring at him like he’d grown a second head. Just then, she let out a defeated sigh and began walking away, leaving him behind.

“Hey,” he called, already starting after her, “what am I not seeing?”

“Doesn’t matter,” came her dejected response, “no point if you can’t see it.”

He wanted to keep bugging her about what it was she was seeing and he wasn’t, but Sabine clearly made up her mind about something.

Hoseok just wished he knew what that “something” was.

“Sabine, wait!”

Hoseok watched his best friend continue her ascent up the fire escape without him. He tried not to be too loud, considering that their neighbors were middle-aged office drones who worked nine to five hours and had 2.5 kids. The last time it got rowdy in their complex, the local authorities were called almost immediately. Add the fact that they were sneaking out after curfew and it was easy to see why Hoseok was a little nervous to be raising his voice.

But Sabine kept going, as if she hadn’t heard him.

Pouting, Hoseok quickly ran up the stairwell after her - his legs feeling much lighter than they usually did. Normally he would feel winded trying to keep up with her, but today it felt easier to breathe. Which was strange, considering he’d been diagnosed with asthma since he was a child.

Then again, a lot of things were different for the past two years.

His parents told him that it was the normal adolescent hormones that popped up at the age of thirteen. “Puberty” and all that nonsense. He’d learned about it in school and, at the time, it made sense. He figured that it was just “growing pains” and nothing more.

Ever since his fourteenth birthday, however, he knew that things were changing at a pace that almost didn’t seem natural. Things were getting weirder and weirder every day. Hoseok even had a weird case of déjà vu when he thought he saw the same cat go by twice.

That couldn’t have been the case, though. That sort of stuff wasn’t real.

Hoseok mentioned it to Sabine just a few days before his fifteenth birthday. He remembered the way her eyes almost seemed to light up - a look he hadn’t seen on her face in almost a year. The truth? Their friendship was strained and Hoseok was confused as to why. He couldn’t remember doing anything to upset her and she was the sort of person who was blunt and honest about her feelings at all times.

Though she had been surfing the net more and more. There were days where Sabine would skip out on their normal hangout time to stay glued to her computer. Her parents said she was studying or doing homework, but he knew Sabine was extremely intelligent and rarely had to put any real effort into her school assignments. Hoseok was no dummy either, but even he needed her help from time to time when it came to classwork.

The days bled into weeks and then the weeks into months. Before long, he was beginning to dread that things weren’t going to be the same between them anymore.

Then Sabine showed up at his door, telling him to come with her to the roof of their apartment complex. He wasn’t about to question her reasoning. Hoseok was just glad that she was talking to him again outside of class.

When he finally reached the top, Sabine was standing on the edge of the roof on the other side. Her dark curls whipped around her head as a sudden gust of wind blew through the air. Hoseok shivered, feeling the cold bite go straight through him. He crossed the roof to where she was, rubbing at his arms to warm them up.

“So,” he said, trying to ignore the awkward feeling in the air, “what’s up?”

She continued to stand on the rooftop’s edge, her hands stuffed into the large front pocket of her hoodie. Sabine didn’t answer him right away and while that would have bothered him before, he was just glad to be able to be close to his friend again. If he was admitting anything to himself, it was that Hoseok missed her. A lot.

“Do you feel that?” she asked suddenly, causing him to look up at her.

“Feel what?”

Sabine sighed, turning to look down at him. “C’mon, Hobi. I know you feel that.”

He really didn’t understand what she meant, and was about to tell her as much. Suddenly, she reached down to grab his arm so she could pull him up onto the perch beside her. Hoseok almost squawked, losing his balance slightly until she tightened her hold on his sleeve to steady him.

“Bean, I really don’t know what you’re talking about…” And he felt bad about it.

“No. I think you do.” Sabine gave him a pointed look. “You feel it, but you just don’t want to admit it.”

He sighed. “What is it I’m supposed to be feeling, Bean?”

“That this,” she said, stretching her arm out toward the cityscape, “isn’t real.”

Hoseok balked at her. “Wait, what?” He blinked once. “What?!”

This time she scoffed. “You haven’t had to use your inhaler in the last two years. You run the track regularly during P.E. and you’re able to keep up with me now.”

He opened his mouth to say something, but stopped himself because he wasn’t sure if he wanted to argue with what she was insinuating. It wasn’t like any of it was a lie. But to say that none of it was real? That was just crazy.

“I’ve been reading up on these forums and there are whispers about this place. About how it’s not real.” Sabine’s brows furrowed as she bit her lower lip, averting her gaze from his. “How our whole life is one giant lie.”

A soft ache welled in his heart. Had she been battling with these feelings of depression alone all this time? Was that why she’d pushed him away?

“Hey,” he said gently, reaching out to grasp her hand, “that’s not true. How can you say that?”

“Because it’s true. I’ve seen the glitches. I’ve seen the code.” Her tone was a mixture of hurt and indifference, like she couldn’t decide what emotion to display to him. Sabine turned to look at him. “And you have too. You just keep pretending that you haven’t.”

Hoseok frowned. “Sabine, come on…”

“You just want to keep being blind to it, but I know you’ve seen it too!”

The truth? He had. He had seen weird things - almost like flickers and after images. He figured it was because he was overworking himself or that his body was continuing its weird pubescent changes. What other reasoning was there? If he saw the same cat twice, it was just a coincidence. If he felt lighter on his feet, it was because he was taking the time to exercise properly. If there were ripples in the glass reflecting a person that was both him and not him, that had nothing to do with anything. It didn’t mean that their world wasn’t real or that their lives had no meaning.

...right?

A rush of movement reclaimed his attention and he screamed in horror as Sabine jumped off the roof. Hoseok reached out, grabbing at her wrists. The force of the jump coupled with gravity pulling her weight down in a rush caused his knees to crash into the concrete perch. The pain was immediate and he gripped onto Sabine with all of his might. Tears leaked out of the corners of his eyes as he looked down at his best friend, unable to fathom why she’d had the sudden urge to want to kill herself.

“Let go,” she said, causing him to sob.

“Are you crazy?!”

“Just let go, Hoseok.”

When he looked down at her, she wore an expression he couldn’t place. It seemed almost peaceful; resolute. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but there was a level of acceptance plastered over Sabine’s face that was profound. It caused his heart to leap into his throat and for a moment, the landscape dissolved into an array of black with strings of green numbers and letters in every direction. Even his best friend’s image was shaped around these numbers and letters.

His knees scraped across the concrete, causing his grip to slip a little. And then everything returned to normal. Or, at least, the normal that he believed himself accustomed to.

When Hoseok’s eyes met Sabine’s once again, he saw her crying. He didn’t have to ask why. Because he already knew the answer.

“...it’s not real,” he mumbled.

Sabine nodded, smiling up at him. “So let go.” Her fingers tightened around his wrists. “Let’s go.”

He smiled at her, leaning down a little further, and gave a small laugh. “Okay.”

Hoseok waited for her to close her eyes first. Then he closed his. When he felt her thumbs pressing into his wrists, her silent way of saying she wasn’t going anywhere, he let gravity take hold of them both. The world rushed around his ears - the wind howling from the speed of their descent. At some point, he groped blindly until his arms wrapped around Sabine in a strong embrace.

And then everything went dark.

“Welcome to the Real World.”

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daybreak-delusion · 4 years

Text

Chapter 1

Introduction: Whitney Goodwinson was planning on inheriting one of her deceased grandmother's properties, but not a little house off the coast of North Carolina. As she struggles to meet new people, fix up her new property, deal with troublemaker JJ Maybank, and perfect her grandmother's infamous lemonade she might just find that the Outer Banks has more to offer than it seems.

Series Masterlist

It was just like a regular family gathering. Aunt Elizabeth was wearing something that was completely inappropriate for a 50-year-old, cousin Will was shaking from cocaine withdrawals, and my mother was whispering more family gossip into my ear. Not the best circumstances for my grandmother's funeral, but she wouldn’t have expected much from us.

“This is ridiculous,” Mother hissed/whispered into my ear, “your grandmother always said that she wanted white roses not white lilies at her funeral,” she finally finished, sitting up straight in her chair. I just kept staring ahead trying to ignore the fact that my family is insane. Grandmother was the only thing keeping us all together and after her will reading, we would probably never see each other again. Allow me to explain, Grandfather was the highest paying heart surgeon in the L.A. county by the age of 30. He met my grandmother at a yacht club off the coast of North Carolina and I guess it was love at first sight. A load of bull that was, Grandfather had countless affairs and they barely stayed in the same home together. I guess that’s love.

“As we celebrate the life of Victoria Goodwinson, daughter, mother, and friend, we ask that the family come forward with their flowers,” said the perspiring priest gesturing towards the first row to step up.

“Come on,” grunted Father, leaving a laughable sweat mark on his seat. Honestly, who picked black for the color of death and why did Grandmother have to die in June? Whatever, we all got up and gathered our white roses, which triggered another comment from Mother, and headed to the casket. I adjusted my black dress and moved my straightened brown hair over my shoulder. I could tell from the look on my mother's face and the sweat on the back of my neck that my hair was probably frizzing up and going back to its waves. There goes another hour of straightening down the drain. Just like we practiced Uncle Richard and Aunt Elizabeth's family went first, followed by Uncle Charles and Aunt Anne’s family, and finally our little whirlwind. Oldest to youngest, straight backs, and mournful looks on our faces. Sadly this meant that I would have to hold a sad face and stand with my shoulders back the longest. By the time it was my turn I had started seeing black dots. I placed my rose on top of the others and actually started to think about Grandmother for the first time since she died. It’s not like I was granddaughter of the year or anything but I still felt a close connection with Grandmother. She would always talk about her glamorous life in London, New York, and Singapore, the Channel fashion shows, and the exquisite champagne imported from Paris. She was the only adult that let me drink in her presence, so she was basically my favorite human being and ultimate role model. Then about two years ago Grandfather died. After that, she stowed away to the place where they met, and then she died. Snapping back to reality I realized the service was over. Let the games begin.

My relatives looked like lions chained up in a meat locker. We were all in the family mansion in L.A. patiently waiting for the attorney to show up. As patient as a bunch of spoiled rich children can. When the clock struck four minutes past 3 Uncle Richard started to pace, causing Aunt Elizabeth to convince him to sit down which caused an argument which caused an awkward feeling to rise in the room. Normal stuff. Thankfully the attorney walked in right as Uncle Richard was criticizing my father's necktie after he tried to stop him from throwing a vase. Everyone quickly shut up and put on their best phony smiles. This was it the real reason we all left our luxurious homes and spent 3 hours in the hot blistering California sun, the will. Now, Grandfather has left all of his assets to Grandmother and hopefully, the most valuable assets will be given to MY family. Personally I was hoping to be given her flat in London. Every summer I would spend a month there walking through the gardens, having tea in ancient places, and just spending time with her. It was my favorite city in the world and I couldn't wait to live there.

“Thank you all for gathering here today for the reading of Mrs. Victoria Goodwinson’s will and testament,” said the monotone attorney, “please save your questions for the end of the reading I’d like to begin.”

I kinda zoned out the beginning, but then he started with the good stuff.

“The mid-size private jet, Amazon shares, New York apartment residence and all that is in it, and a 5 million dollar allowance goes to Mr. Charles and Mrs. Anne Goodwinson,” continued the attorney, his voice becoming a little hoarse from all of the talking. Uncle Charles and Aunt Anne looked satisfied with their lot.

“The large size private jet, the L.A. mansion and all that is in it, and a 5 million dollar allowance goes to Mr. Henry and Mrs. Mary Goodwinson.”

I know Mother was hoping for the yacht that was given to Uncle Richard and Aunt Elizabeth, but getting the L.A. house, the house that Grandmother and Grandfather lived in, was enough to make her satisfied. The mansion had countless paintings that could sell for millions, plus the location was ideal and would sell for double what Grandfather had originally bought it for.

“Now for the client’s grandchildren,” said Mr. get-to-the-point finally getting to the point “to Mr. William Speakman the London flat and a 2.5 million allowance is given.”

I just sat there in shock. What?! Are you kidding me? Crackhead Willy got the London flat and not me! This is absurd. Despite my outrage, I kept a smile on my face and my shoulders back.

“And finally to our last recipient, Mrs. Whitney Goodwinson…”

I leaned forward a bit just waiting for what the old man was gonna say. Since I wasn’t getting the London flat, maybe Grandmother had a secret cottage in the French countryside or another apartment in Italy. Anything would have been better than what Mr. bad news Bob said next.

“The Outer Banks, North Carolinian residence and a 3.5 million allowance will be given. This closes the end of the reading of the will and testament. Any questions can be asked now.”

Oh boy did I have questions. First off what the hell was Grandmother thinking. Outer Banks!? A dingy island that I had never been too?! I had never heard Grandmother speak of it and had to find out from Father that it was the island where Grandmother first met Grandfather. That meant it was also the place where she died, which did not seem right.

“Whitney she didn’t die in the house, she died in a hospital on the mainland,” said Mother while lighting a cigarette, a “once in a while” habit of hers. We were on the balcony of my parents’ new mansion looking over the Los Angeles skyline. Mother and Father wasted no time kicking everyone out and moving into their new home. In the distance, I could see the sun setting into the Pacific Ocean. It hurt me that in a few hours I would be leaving this perfect place and would be looking at a completely different ocean on the other side of the country in a town where I didn’t know anybody and was unfamiliar with. “And don’t complain it was your grandmother's dying wish to give you her old shack in North Carolina, the least you could do is visit it before you sell it.”

“Fine,” I said rolling my eyes, “I just hope someone is willing to buy.”

“Don’t worry honey we already have a list of possible buyers and I have a personal friend who’s a realtor there who said that she’d help you out. I told her you would be arriving tomorrow and she’s gonna come by the house.” Ah yes, my mother ladies and gents all ready setting up people for me to meet. I swear she knows people in every state, but at least I’ll have help selling the shack.

“You’re sure I can’t take the private jet?” I pleaded with my best “please take pity on me because I got screwed out of a London flat” face.

“Honey you know that your father and I need to go to Sweden to pick out new furniture for the house. Flying first class will be fine and I’m sorry you have to take a red-eye, but it was so last minute You know what’s funny? Your father and I already had a plane ticket to London for you,” she laughed, “we were so sure the flat was yours!” I did not in fact think it was funny.

“Yeah me too,” I said miserably.

“It’ll be fine honey, who knows,” she said snuffing out her cigarette,” you might even like it there.”

I highly doubt that.

a/n: First chapter is finally up! Thank you for reading and not dropping out after the first sentence! Second chapter should be up shortly, for the time being I’m going to be posting two chapters at a time every other day. I figure this will motivate me even more to write! I am so excited for you guys to see where the story goes and all of its twists and turns! Stay tuned for the next chapter!

#jj maybank x oc #jj maybank x original character #jj maybank fanfiction #jj maybank fandom #jj maybank #outer banks #outer banks fanfiction #outer banks fandom #obx #obx fanfiction #obx fandom #jj outer banks

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that-devout-catholic-woman · 4 years

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Courtney, hi! Question, / update! I've come to you before with romantic problems/unrequited love issues. (I keep praying for him to change his mind). and you were like, "what makes you want to hold on" ? I think God is pushing me to marry catholic. !!! idk. I get this nice sense of peace thinking about it and stuff. I half believe my soulmate is a kind, courageous, smart, and handsome catholic dude. Which the other guy isnt. How do you know you were made for Kieran. Do you know the feeling?

Hello again, friend! Welcome back!

Haha so funny story, he and I met online via Catholic Match and when I first saw his profile I was thinking of deleting my account because I was tired of the search and not really getting anywhere with men on there. I looked at his profile and was unsure so I didn’t message him. His subscription was almost up but he saw that I looked at his profile and was like, “I like this human” (or something like that) and decided to message me the next day after I looked at his profile. He sent me this beautiful long message about the things he admired about my character and the things we had in common. I sent him only 1 long message per day to try to stay emotionally chaste and he kept coming back and messaging me too (turns out after that first day he had to re-subscribe to keep talking to me lol, he says that it’s the best $30 he ever spent 😂❤️). After talking for about a month I told him he could finally have my number but that he couldn’t text me until after we video chatted. I planned to spend maybe one hour with him, two max. We talked for four hours. Then he would text me occasionally and we’d video chat once every week.

Eventually he and I made plans to see each other over a long weekend halfway between us since he lives like 7 hours away from me, and of course this was after like 2.5 hours of talking and getting to know one another and being friends. I got there earlier on that Saturday and actually thought he was going to stand me up lol, but eventually he let me know he’d gotten stuck in traffic and was finally in town. He stayed in a different hotel than I was in at my request, and so after he unpacked and got ready he came to my hotel to pick me up. I’ll admit, it was kind of awkward at first but he drove us to this bar in the town’s little downtown area and I swear when we got there the world melted away. We talked about religion, politics, family, etc. We just clicked.

The next day he picked me up again and we went to mass together. The priest picked us to carry the gifts during the offertory. It felt a bit like a sign. Then we went to the beach and ate lunch, had some ice cream, talked some more. Honestly it seemed like all the things I’d liked about my exes he had, minus the bad things. Everything about being with him felt right. After ice cream we went to my hotel’s pool and I told him that I have reproductive tract issues and may not be able to conceive, he took it super well. (I had been really nervous about telling him since he wanted a family in the future.) I told him about my desire to adopt and he said that if that’s what God willed for us then he’d be okay with that. During dinner I told him I wasn’t a virgin and about my past— he was literally the kindest, gentlest person and gave the sweetest response. It was then that I knew for sure that he was my person. Only 2.5 months of knowing him. We sat in that restaurant talking until it closed and then sat in the car while he told me about some of his past too.

The following day, I saw squirrels running around outside my hotel, and up until that point in my life God had been putting squirrels in my life in various ways to tell me I was on the right track. So I took this as confirmation of what I’d known the night prior.

Then throughout the rest of our next few months of being official he proved how much of a good man he was/is. Always kind, always loving, always there to support me when I needed it most. The second time I saw him was the following month and I told him I’d been raped by some exes of mine before and I cried and cried and he just held me and comforted me. There was another time when I asked him if he wanted to watch Netflix with me during one of our virtual date nights and he asked if we could read the Bible instead. He loved going to adoration with me. My whole family couldn’t stop talking about how well he fit in after he met everyone. All of it just continued to solidify what I’d decided on before.

Don’t get me wrong, he drives me nuts sometimes and we argue sometimes, we have our fair share of downs in the relationship and I’ve occasioanlly questioned God’s choice for me. But I love him and I’d die for him without a second’s hesitation. Love is a continual choice to will someone’s good no matter how you feel that day and even on our bad days, I continue to choose him, and I’m happy to keep doing so for the rest of our lives. I 100% believe he was made for me and me for him.

You’ll find your person, trust me. God won’t lead you away from what he’s called you to and planned for you. And God will make sure you know when you’ve made the right choice, all in His perfect timing.

Praying for you! ❤️

#ask Courtney things #personal #anon #anon ask #anonymous

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pettyrevenge-base · 5 years

Text

Be quiet on my redeye or be humiliated in front of half an airplane

So I'm on a late night flight from NYC to Salt Lake, traveling home after visiting family for the holidays. The flight was landing in the early morning hours (1 AM-ish) so I was trying to catch a nap before I had to drive another 2.5 hours from the airport to actually get home. Boarding was exceptionally slow that day, so I and the people nearby had been sitting in our seats for close to half an hour and we hadn't even started to taxi to the runway. Everyone is either settling in for a nap like me, or setting up to quietly read or otherwise occupy themselves. Because it's the middle of the damn night.

Now, let's introduce our characters:

Me: Tired traveler who wants nothing more than the sweet, sweet neck cramps from a fitful airplane nap.

Wholesome Granny: Delightful little old lady who just wants to put on her reading glasses and finish her Nora Roberts novel.

New Jersey Bro: Dude who apparently spent his entire Christmas and New Years trying valiantly to get alcohol poisoning.

Loud New Jersey Girl: Basic bitch whose hobbies include binge drinking and self tanner.

For the record, I know douches come from all 50 states. New Jersey does not have a monopoly on assholes. I just mention it because they both had particularly grating Jersey Shore-style accents. Bitch had a voice like The Nanny and the accent of Janice Soprano.

So our seating arrangement was thus: Left side of the plane from window to aisle: Loud NJ Girl, me, and Wholesome Granny. Right side from aisle to window: NJ Bro, some poor bastard trying to sleep, and a snoozing middle aged guy who apparently can sleep through the Apocalypse. So, from left to right it was Loud NJ Girl - Me - Wholesome Granny - Aisle - NJ Bro - poor bastard - sleepy dude.

So apparently NJ Bro decided he fancied Ms. Self Tanner from Newark. So he strikes up a conversation. They realize they have some college friend in common, which leads to a discussion about partying over college break. Now, I partied in college. I probably also had stupid conversations about it. But my conversations never occurred while leaning across multiple sleepy air passengers on a fucking redeye at volumes that could drown out the jet engines. Loud NJ Girl is essentially screaming in my ear, and Wholesome Granny looks vaguely horrified at the loud discussion of various debaucheries.

At some point, everyone in the back half of the aircraft has now heard about Jager Bombs on New Year's Eve. Everyone. Including my poor, exhausted self. People are uncomfortably looking around with increasingly angry expressions. Everyone wants to be polite, but everyone is getting pissed off. I exchange a few piteous glances with poor Wholesome Granny. I realize that if nobody tells these fantastic fratty partiers to STFU, I will probably get no rest and fall asleep at the wheel when I drive home. Good times.

So I should mention that I'm very awkward. I once apologized to a woman on another airplane after she hit me in the face with her Kate Spade bag. Standing up to a stranger isn't in my DNA. But as a chronic insomniac, I value my fucking sleep. And after 30 minutes, even I had had too much. So I turn to my right, look at NJ Bro, and say, loud enough to drown out the screeches of Sorority Fran Drescher, "I WILL SWITCH SEATS WITH YOU IF YOU USE AN INSIDE VOICE FOR THE REST OF THE FLIGHT. PLEASE. YOU CAN HAVE MY SEAT." For a brief millisecond, there is silence. NJ bro freezes in his seat and turns red. Loud NJ girl scoffs and makes some outraged sound. "Oh jeez" I think. "Did I just sound like a total asshole?"

Then, glorious laughter. Every passenger who is awake within 10 rows chuckles. More scoffing from Loud NJ Girl. NJ bro has the grace to look embarrassed, and says "okay" quietly. We switch, so he's now between NJ Girl and Wholesome Granny. At least they're together now. I settle in, and then the woman in the seat directly in front of me turns around. It's a younger mother with three kids: A toddler, a lap baby, and an older kid absorbed in some cartoon on an ipad, wearing headphones because she isn't a sociopath. She says "I have 3 kids, including a baby, and she's never made as much noise on a plane as those guys." A few more chuckles.

They do quiet down somewhat, though poor Wholesome Granny's peaceful reading of her book is occasionally interrupted with laughter that sounds like a parrot trying to imitate an epileptic chimpanzee. At one point, I hear giggling and see Loud NJ Girl trying to stealthily take my picture from behind the in-flight menu. Since cell phone cameras cannot penetrate opaque laminated cardboard, it's pretty obviously not-stealthy when I see the flash. Though my awkwardness makes me panic at this point, I realize that being shamed as a bitch on instagram by someone whose personality consists of Appletinis and dropping Ecstasy probably isn't that tragic. When we land, NJ Bro deplanes with a red face and a bowed head. I get a priceless glare from NJ Girl. Life is good. But wait, there's more!

I ran into someone I knew at the baggage claim. I know, it sounds ridiculous. But it happened. So I start chatting with her and rant a little about the total douchebags that sat near me, leaving out no critical detail or unkind thought. We laugh. I see my bag, pick it up, and prepare to return to the most distant of economy parking spaces to drive my totally badass Toyota Yaris home. And when I turn around, I see the NJ buddies. It's clear they were standing close enough to hear every word. I make eye contact, awkwardly trip over something, and stumble off to glory.

Source: reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge

#pettyrevenge #lol #omg

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yoon-kooks · 5 years

Text

With Love and No Regrets💋 2

Pairing: ??? x Reader, Taehyung x Reader (this chapter)

Genre: Angst, Handwritten!AU, inspired by TATBILB

Summary: Seven stories, seven regrets, seven letters… to all the boys you may or may not still think about…

Word Count: 2.8k

Parts: Prologue // 1 // 1.5 // 2 // 2.5 // 3 //

Warnings: none

A/N: hands up if you remember your first crush ever 😔✊

Fifth grade might’ve been your prime. You were a whopping ten years old, all the kindergarteners looked up to you as their senior, multiple boys in your class had their eye on you, and you developed your first crush. His name was Kim Taehyung.

Unlike Jungkook who you had met in kindergarten, the existence of Kim Taehyung was unknown to you until fifth grade came around. And boy did he hit you like a truck.

Taehyung was cute. Perhaps one of the cutest boys in your class, up there with Kim Namjoon and Jung Hoseok. And sure, you would’ve loved for fate aka your teacher to seat you right next to him for the entire school year. But the truth is, fate wasn’t always so kind. Because Taehyung always somehow ended up on the opposite side of the room from you.

But why leave everything up to fate? You weren’t that passive when it came to love—at least not at age ten. So you found another way to connect with the boy.

One stormy October morning, you discovered a common interest between Taehyung and yourself. Rainy days were always your favorite because your class was blessed with some free time in the school’s computer lab during recess. After all, you were the type that opted to stay behind a screen instead of facing things head on.

“Ahin, how are you level 77 already?” you asked your best friend as you glanced back and forth between her level 77 mage and your level 32 bandit on the computer screen. Her character had a lot more swag with the sunglasses and shit compared to your basic ass character with the default clothes.

“That’s because my screen time isn’t limited to one hour a day like you,” Ahin shrugged. “At this rate, you’ll be a noob forever, Y/N. Taehyung’s gonna over-level you soon.”

“Taehyung plays StapleMory, too?” You were intrigued because StapleMory was already your favorite MMORPG, but with the addition of a cute boy thrown into the mix, you’d have to beg your mother for an extra hour of play time.

“Yeah, he started playing a few weeks ago and he’s only a few levels behind you.”

“What’s his username? I wanna add him to my friend list.”

“Why? Are you in love with him or something?”

“What? No, of course not.” You didn’t have a crush on him just yet. You didn’t even know what a crush felt like.

“Well I don’t know his username either,” Ahin said. “I just heard him talking about it with Hoseok. Try asking them instead.”

You’d only made the smallest of small talk with Taehyung in the first month back from summer break, so you didn’t know him well enough to casually start a conversation with him at recess without it feeling a little forced. On the other hand, you did have an already established acquaintance with Hoseok thanks to summer school a few years back.

You peered down at the pair of boys several computers down from where you sat, locked onto your target, and rolled your chair over in that direction. When you caught a glimpse of familiar character sprites on their screens, you knew what to do.

“You play StapleMory, too, Hoseok?” The character on his screen was a heavily armored warrior holding a long blue spear.

“Y-you play too, Y/N?” He looked shocked. Shocked but not upset. Though maybe if you both had put two and two together sooner, you could’ve advanced your acquaintanceship with him beyond summer school.

“Yeah, and Ahin plays too.”

“I play too,” Taehyung jumped in. Contrary to his natural handsomeness, his character was on the ugly side equipped with a bow and arrows. “Well I just started, so I’m only level 30.”

“Oh, so you’re still just a noob,” you laughed as if being two levels higher than him was anything to boast about.

“Well what level are you then?”

“Higher than you.” You really should not have had that smug look on your face, but you did.

Taehyung narrowed his eyes at you. It was a challenge. “What’s your username? I’ll add you.”

“YoungHinata.”

“Is that some kind of Naruto reference or something?”

“Yeah, duh.” You didn’t know. It wasn’t your username.

After typing the username in, Taehyung’s jaw dropped. “Level 77? That’s… impressive. You already have your third job advancement?”

You wanted to psych him out a little, not impress him. Clearly that didn’t work out, so you abort. “Nah, I’m just kidding. That’s Ahin’s character.”

“Haha very funny. I guess I’ll add her then, not you.” Taehyung sent Ahin a virtual friend request right in front of your eyes. “Unless you wanna tell me your username.”

Were you feeling threatened? No. But did you want Taehyung to be your friend? Yes.

“It’s… TacoCat98.” You admit you were self-conscious about the name, and you would’ve picked something a little wittier like TacoBelle if you’d known you’d be playing with a cute boy. But nobody could’ve predicted that.

“Seriously?” Taehyung laughed at your username as he typed it in. He had no right to clown you when his own username was something as simple Vante, and you totally did not get the reference if there was one. And he only stopped laughing once he saw your character. “You called me a noob when you’re only like two levels above me? Noob.”

“It doesn’t matter! I’m still higher than you, so ha!” You got the last laugh, but not the last say.

“Not for long, Y/N… Not for long.” The confidence in Taehyung’s voice was admirable with a hint of flirtiness, but you wouldn’t let him get the best of you. Or so you thought.

It had quickly become a regular thing for you to hop online after school with either Ahin, Hoseok and Taehyung, or just Taehyung. Your mother was pleasantly surprised to see you zipping through your homework with newfound motivation, and she even granted you an extra hour of screen time to reward your excelling academics. Little did she know that your motivation had everything to do with a boy.

With that valuable extra hour of play time, you did everything in your power to stay ahead of Taehyung. You grinded, took on quests, asked Ahin for advice on the best equips and places to train, and you did so without a minute to waste. The only time you took a break from leveling up your character was when a certain notification popped up on your screen.

[Vante has logged in!]

[Vante sent you a message!]

Vante: hi Y/N >:)

TacoCat98: why r u sending me a mean face? :P

Vante: freedom of speech?

TacoCat98: ok?

Vante: come train with me :(

TacoCat98: where r u now?

Vante: where the fire boars are

TacoCat98: kk

You might’ve been in the middle of a jump quest that you’d have to restart later, but you were willing to forfeit some good EXP in exchange for time with Taehyung. The two of you were close enough in level where it’d be mutually beneficial to train together on the same map anyway. So you hustled over to the fire boars.

As soon as you walked through the portal to where Taehyung said he was, you witnessed a hoard of flaming pigs chasing an ugly green-haired archer. Rather than extending a hand to help the boy out of danger, you take pleasure in watching him struggle to find safety on a nearby platform.

“why didnt u help me????” A speech bubble appeared over Taehyung’s character. “i almost died!!”

“i didnt wanna kiss you,” you typed, with a very embarrassing typo. “i meant KS you… not kiss you lol”

“r u sure that was a typo?” Taehyung changed his character’s facial expression to a hmm face.

“KISS wouldnt have made sense in that context!!” K.S. was the abbreviation of kill steal, which was when someone (often a noob like Taehyung) is trying to kill a monster but then a higher level player passes by and instantly kills the monster as a form of mockery. Kiss, on the other hand, meant something very different.

“right…”

“RIGHT.” You made your character flail around in the air like a kid having a tantrum before jumping down to release all your awkward energy out on the fire boars. “can we just train now??”

You sent Taehyung a request to join your party, and he accepted it, but he remained right where he was instead of joining you on the battle grounds.

“or we could just talk,” he typed. That not only surprised you, but also meant something to you. It meant he’d rather spend time chatting with you over leveling up his character. You were more important to him than the game itself.

You jumped back up to the safe platform and faced Taehyung’s character. “we could.”

You didn't know if he was just luring you away from training so he could sneak past you in levels as soon as you logged off, but maybe it didn’t matter. You only had two hours a day to do whatever you wanted on the computer, and Taehyung was what made your time feel well-spent.

And if he ended up surpassing you in levels as a result of that, you’d lose bragging rights and that hold over him, but something in you wanted to believe he wouldn’t leave your noob ass behind.

For a solid year, you never grew bored of Taehyung and his antics. Even in the classroom, it became apparent that you two were no strangers. You teased him about his new haircuts, he teased you by shouting “TacoCat98” across the school yard, and you both exchanged ugly faces as you passed by each others’ desks. All of that was innocent and cute, though the more intimate stuff remained online.

You can’t remember the exact moment you first acknowledged your feelings for Taehyung because it was your very first crush and you had no way of recognizing the signs. For a while, you assumed your first crush would be Namjoon because he had all the stunning physical qualities you thought you wanted in a boyfriend. But with Taehyung, it was something else that you couldn’t quite comprehend. All you knew was that he made your day a little brighter. And you found yourself thinking about him. A lot.

But nothing could’ve made you realize your crush more than when he asked you about it right after graduation.

Vante: hey

TacoCat98: hey

Vante: do you like anyone?

It was your chance—the golden opportunity. You wanted to scream “YES, IT’S YOU” through your computer. But on the off chance that he didn’t feel the same way, you wanted to save yourself from a potential rejection. You told yourself you’d only confess to him if you felt 100% confident that he felt the same way. Despite having a gut feeling that that might’ve been the case, you needed more answers.

TacoCat98: lol why r u asking?

Vante: bc u know how my group of guys had a talk after the grad ceremony?

TacoCat98: umm no? and yall arent “guys” yet btw. youre still boys lolol

Vante: whatever -_-

Vante: anyway

Vante: the BOYS had a talk about who we liked in our class

Vante: so i know who likes u

Someone liked you? That was definitely news to you. No one (to your knowledge) ever had a crush on you in your ten years of life. Naturally, you were curious as a kitten as to who it was, and if it was in fact Taehyung himself. Or maybe he was just bluffing. If that were the case, you were going to bluff back.

TacoCat98: well i know who likes u too :P

Vante: who?

For some reason, your dumbass didn’t anticipate him asking you to spill the tea. Especially not when you were alluding to your own crush on him.

TacoCat98: u tell me first and then ill tell u

Because how romantic would that be if the feeling was mutual and realized on the online platform where it had all begun to bloom?

Vante: hoseok

TacoCat98: wat

Vante: hoseok said he likes u

Vante: ok next

You needed a long minute to comprehend what had happened. Hoseok liked you? Hoseok? Hoseok didn’t even know you the way Taehyung did. You rarely even spoke to him outside of when he’d play StapleMory with you and Taehyung. So how was it possible for Jung Hoseok to develop a crush on you out of nothing? Spoiler alert: It wasn’t possible. But you didn’t know that at the time.

Vante: so… who likes me?

An idiot liked Taehyung. And that idiot was you. But after he didn’t confess to you like you had hoped, there was no way you’d confess either.

TacoCat98: actually i promised to keep that a secret

Vante: but u said u would tell me >:(

TacoCat98: well im srry!!

TacoCat98: it’s not like you were sharing your OWN crush, so why r u so mad lol

TacoCat98: hoseok probably wanted to keep that a secret but u told me anyway

Vante: true

Vante: dont tell him i told u >.<

TacoCat98: ok i wont

Vante: good

Vante: now back to the original question… tell me who u like

TacoCat98: i dont like anyone lol

Vante: seriously…

TacoCat98: really i dont lol

Vante: everyone has a crush

TacoCat98: and your crush is…?

Vante: ahin

He typed it without hesitation, not a sliver of doubt. He confidently told you about his crush on your best friend as if that information wasn’t going to get back to her. Maybe he intended for you to tell Ahin so he wouldn’t have to confess himself. Or maybe he just wanted to make you jealous. The latter was what he accomplished.

As a friend, you loved Ahin and envied her for how easily she got along with the boys in your class. Just as her StapleMory character outshined yours, she had the same effect at school. It honestly didn’t surprise you that Taehyung chose her over you. You had just hoped and envisioned that this time it was you.

TacoCat98: AHIN!!! can i tell u something?

YoungHinata: sure lol

TacoCat98: i like tae

YoungHinata: omg

YoungHinata: really????

YoungHinata: u should tell him!!

YoungHinata: he always acts like he likes u too

TacoCat98: i dont think he likes me like that

YoungHinata: y tho???

TacoCat98: i just have a feeling :(

YoungHinata: well youll never know for sure unless u confess to him

TacoCat98: nah im fine with him never knowing

TacoCat98: i just wanted to get it off my chest so i told u instead of him lol

After elementary school ended and middle school started, you were more thankful than ever that you and Taehyung had established an online friendship. You wouldn’t have otherwise known he attended the same middle school because you had zero classes with him in sixth grade and literally never saw him on campus. You owed a lot to the online platform for all the opportunities it provided you with in chatting with your crush. At the same time, a relationship built upon online engagements had its limits.

[Vante has logged in!]

TacoCat98: hihihi

Vante: i havent seen your face around these parts in a while

TacoCat98: blame my teachers >:(

TacoCat98: more hw = less staplemory

Vante: same

Vante: dont u think it’s weird tho

TacoCat98: whats weird?

Vante: how we talk on here but not irl

TacoCat98: i guess we never see each other at school anymore

There were a million better ways to respond to Taehyung’s comment, but that’s how you chose to respond. You had every opportunity to say, “hey let’s meet up at lunch tomorrow” or “wanna get milk tea after school?” But you were too dense to realize what he wanted out of that conversation. You took it more as a subtle breakup like “we can’t be friends anymore because things are awkward now irl.” After all, you were on the wrong side of an unrequited love, and it was almost inevitable that he’d develop other crushes on his new classmates who outclassed you.

It was only after you both quit StapleMory later that year and left your friendship to die in cyberspace that you heard a rumor floating around regarding you and Taehyung. One of your new middle school friends said Taehyung had asked her if it was true that you had a crush on him.

How did Taehyung know about that? And why did he even care? He was supposed to like Ahin. He told you himself that he liked Ahin. If you were his crush, he would’ve told you. He should’ve told you. Because you were fully convinced he no longer cared about his little gamer friend when there were plenty of prettier kids to pursue. And whether or not it was the truth, you took it to heart, despite all the other signs that had said otherwise.

So, no. The rumor wasn't true. You didn’t have a crush on him. Not anymore.

#bts scenarios #bts fanfic #bts imagines #bts angst #taehyung x reader #taehyung fanfic #bts x reader #taehyung #v #bts #bangtan #with love and no regrets

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yoon-ing · 6 years

Text

Hidden Under The Covers: Finale

Finale: Boyfriend Material

Jungkook x Reader

Word Count: 5.7k

College AU | When a fire alarm leads to a new friendship and a borrowed blanket is returned with much more than you bargained for.

Flashing red lights up ahead catch your eye and you hear Yoongi grumble a series of curses under his breath. This draws the attention of the two boys who have been cramped in the backseat for over an hour now. Looking up from the handheld games that have been keeping them quiet this entire time, they show an equal amount of displeasure as you and Yoongi, groaning and whining.

The ‘Do Not Cross’ bars come down to stop traffic as you approach a railway, the loud rumble of a train engine nearing and Yoongi puts the car in park. You recognize Jungkook’s car that pulls up directly to your right and you avoid looking out the window, knowing you’ll likely meet his eyes if you even look over.

Your hope to avoid any interaction with the car next to you is quickly going down the drain when Jimin unbuckles his seatbelt and maneuvers his way between the front seats and over your lap.

He rolls down the window and sticks his head out, motioning for Jungkook to do the same. You push yourself back against your seat, to give Jimin space but mostly to hide from the boy who is now looking directly into the car.

“Anyone got an extra Red Bull?” Jimin calls over, “Taehyung drank mine.”

“There should be one in the trunk” Hoseok declares from the backseat of Jungkook’s car, rolling down his own window, “but you’re gonna have to come get it.”

“Y/N, get out,” Jimin says, turning to you, just a few inches from your face.

“Me? Why not Yoongi, you’re sitting behind him,” you point out, not wanting to move.

Yoongi turns to raise an eyebrow at you, “because it’s my car and if anyone’s moving their seat, it’s not the person who owns this car.”

Your response is a grumble, having no valid reason to refuse when he puts it that way, and now that you think about it, it’s always been the passenger seat that is moved whenever anyone is getting in or out of the back. Stepping out of the car, you huff a quick ‘hurry up’ to Jimin who struggles to clamber over Taehyung and onto his feet.

Standing awkwardly by the door, you keep your eyes on the train that is going passed, mindlessly counting the cars and doing your best not to look at Jungkook. But that becomes impossible when you hear the car door open and you look over to see Jungkook stepping out. A surge of panic courses through your body and your fight or flight instincts opt for the latter, trying to lurch your body back into the car before Jungkook can approach you. Unfortunately, you’re too slow and he grabs a hold of your wrist to spin you around.

“Y/N, we need to talk,” he says and you hate that he’s doing this in front of an audience, all the other boys peering out their window.

You pull your hand away from him and he doesn’t fight you, easily letting it drop to your side. “No thanks,” you stubbornly retort, turning your back to him and getting back into the car before he can grab your hand again.

“Y/N,” he calls out as you shut the door, and you can hear a hint of annoyance in his voice.

You fold your arms over your chest and refuse to look at him where he stands looking into the window. You’re relieved to see the caboose of the train nearing and that alone feels like a small victory. You forget to take into consideration that Jungkook is just as stubborn as you and when he notices the train coming to an end, he walks around to the other side of the car and swings Yoongi’s door open.

“Get out,” he demands, a sense of urgency in his words.

Your pride of getting out of the conversation doesn’t falter because Yoongi isn’t one to take orders from other people, and you confidently wait for his snarky remark. But to your dismay it never comes, Yoongi doesn’t even argue back as he unbuckles his seatbelt and gives you a small ‘sorry Y/N’ before getting out of the car, Taehyung just one step behind him. You gawk at the two as they make their way around the car, baffled that your friends would betray you so easily.

“Wait, where am I supposed to go?” Jimin asks after Taehyung dives for the empty seat in the back Of Jungkook’s car.

“Stop whining Jimin, just sit on someone’s lap,” Jungkook calls over, not waiting for a response as he takes the driver’s seat next to you.

“That’s illegal, Jimin,” you yell out the window, “just get back in this car!”

“I think I’ll take the risk,” he says, turning back to face Jungkook’s car, looking for a place to sit.

“I’m driving, so,” Yoongi says with his hands up.

“Not it.” “Not it!” “Not it!” three of them yell out one after the other, leaving Seokjin cursing under his breath for acting too slow, earning Jimin’s ass on his lap for an hour long drive.

“Wait, you guys are going to leave me here? Alone!?” you exclaim in disbelief.

By this point the train has already cleared from the road and the robotic gates raise while the flashing lights come to a stop.

“You’re not alone and it was bound to happen at some point,” Yoongi shrugs, getting into the Subaru, telling Jimin to hurry up as someone honks from behind. Jimin jumps in and they’re off before you can even register his words.

The car starts moving and it’s quiet for awhile, too quiet, the music cutting off earlier when Taehyung jumped out of the car with his phone that was connected to the bluetooth. Feeling undeniably awkward, you reach over to click a button and the scratchy radio comes on.

“I guess we’re too far away from the city to get a good signal…” you say out loud, breaking the heavy silence as you fiddle with the device to find an okay-sounding station. You settle for a channel that is playing songs that were hits 50 years ago and you return your hand to your lap where you fidget with the bottom on your coat.

“Y/N,” Jungkook begins after some time, not knowing where to possibly start.

“Look, Jungkook,” you decide to speak up, using all the courage you can muster. “I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you,” your mind flashes back to one evening when you got a call from an unknown number, answering with a normal ‘hello’ and hanging up the moment you hear Jungkook’s voice on the other end of the line.

“No, I’m sorry,” Jungkook cuts in.

“Don’t be,” you quickly say back, “I’m the one that’s sorry.”

“No,” he rebuts, “I had no business involving myself with you and your ex-”

“Really, you don’t need to be sorry about that,” you try to explain.

“But I am!” he blurts out, getting frustrated with your little game of ‘who’s more sorry’.

His distracted mind has him swerving too late to avoid a deep pothole and you exclaim out, “careful!”

“Fuck, sorry,” he breathes out when the car jolts with the hard bump. “Yoongi’s gonna kill me for that,” he mumbles to himself.

“Jungkook, I-” you try again after a moment of contemplating your thoughts.

“No, Y/N, listen to me,” he says and the car slows, coming to a stop on the side of the road so he can turn to face you.

There’s so much tension in his furrowed eyebrows that you’re scared it’s going to permanently wrinkle his forehead if you don’t let him speak.

Jungkook looks at you for a moment before releasing a sigh, sinking back into his seat and dragging his hands over his face.

“God, I’ve probably rehearsed this a million times in my head and I still don’t know where to start,” he says, sounding defeated and this is the first time you’ve really looked at him in over a month, the bags under his eyes looking darker than you remember and the fullness of his cheeks ever so slightly deflated. There’s a pang in your heart and you wonder if you’re the reason he looks so tired, how hard has it been for him since you so coldly kicked him out of your life without an explanation?

“I’ve heard that starting from the beginning is a very good place to start,” you quietly pipe up. And he looks at you almost in annoyance, before an amused smile breaks out across his face, probably because he can’t believe that you’re quoting the Sound Of Music in this situation.

“How much do you remember from the New Year’s party?” Jungkook asks after a moment of contemplation.

“Er, I remember taking a shot and waking up at Yoongi’s the next day,” you say truthfully, having no recollection of the night when you drank too much.

“So you don’t remember running into your ex?” he inquires and you go rigid for a moment, recalling that you did see him that night.

“I don’t know what we talked about, but I know I saw him,” you admit quietly. “Was it bad?”

“I mean…” he hesitates for a moment, “Y/N… you cried, like a lot.”

This revelation has your eyes widening, you don’t know the last time you cried, especially over something as silly as a boy. “I can’t say for sure, but I probably wasn’t crying over him, I was most likely just overwhelmed… and it probably didn’t help that I was drunk…”

“You really don’t remember anything from that night then,” Jungkook says quietly, mostly to himself. He figured that you wouldn’t remember, but part of him hoped you did. The time he spent with you that night was one of the most intimate moments you two shared together and it saddens him to know that it holds no place in your memory.

“Y/N, I’m gonna get straight to the point… I like you,” Jungkook admits and his confession doesn’t come as a surprise to you. You would have had to been blind to not see the way he attempted to reach out to you over the last month, getting frustrated each time you turned your back on him and looked the other way. He stood up to your ex for you and voiced his concern for you, not wanting you to get hurt. And Taehyung and Jimin might have let it slip that your hot headed “enemy” shouldn’t be as much of an enemy as you initially made him out to be. “Look, I’m really sorry I stuck my nose in your business,” Jungkook begins, and you have to cut him off before you two get stuck in another battle of ‘I’m sorry’s.

“I think I like you too,” you say before you lose the courage and there’s shock and hesitation is Jungkook’s eyes. “God, okay, this is going to sound absolutely insane or just plain stupid, but… I’ve liked you since October, I just didn’t know it was you.”

You can tell you’ve lost him, his features contorted into pure confusion.

Letting out a sigh feeling reluctant, you know you need to explain it from the beginning.

“Okay, so back in October the fire alarm went off in our building and that’s when I met Tae. I lent him a blanket that he brought to your place and when he gave it back, it smelt really good, and god, this sounds so creepy and cringy, but I got attached to that scent and just assumed it was Jimin since I saw him that night. And that’s why I dated him for half a week, but I realized he wasn’t the guy I was crushing on and I just went on blindly with a stupid crush on someone I didn’t know.

“And then after the party, I woke up in the sweater that smelt just like the blanket and I guess at some point you gave me your sweater, but i didn’t know it was yours until Jimin pointed it out after I’d been wearing it for like 3 days straight and I felt stupid and embarrassed and I didn’t know how to handle any of the emotions I was feeling, so I just didn’t and that’s why I ran away every time I saw you because I couldn’t admit to myself that I like you and I haven’t admitted it until right now.

“Jungkook, I like you. Like, like like you,” you conclude, finally taking the time to breathe once all your thoughts have tumbled out of your mouth and it feels as if a huge weight has been lifted off your chest.

“Oh.” Is his response and you blink blankly back at him.

“Oh?”

“I just-” he starts, looking for words. “You- You like me,” Jungkook repeats to himself, an ear splitting smile stretching across his face, laughing in astonishment as he takes in everything you just said. He covers his face with his hands as the airy laugh leaves his lips, and he lets out a sigh of content. “I really didn’t think this conversation was going to go like this.”

“You don’t have to be a dick about it,” you shoot at him, already feeling embarrassed.

“I’m not! I just didn’t expect this!” he defends, unable to hide his smile.

“No, I take it all back,” you stubbornly say, crossing your arms over your chest.

“You can’t take it back, you like me, you admitted it!”

“Hmph,” you grunt, turning away from him.

“I guess you don’t remember kissing me,” Jungkook all of a sudden says, and you can hear the smirk in his voice.

Your face gets hot and you whip your attention back to him, staring at him in disbelief and embarrassment, “I what?!”

“It was just a peck, to ring in the New Year,” he casually explains, smug in the way he shrugs his shoulders.

“You’re lying!” you accuse, but a feeling deep down tells you he isn’t.

“Nope,” he easily responds. The smirk leaves his face and he’s much more serious when he speaks his next words. “You kissed Yoongi too, literally right after, but it was still our first kiss.”

“How can it be our first kiss if I don’t remember it?” you pout, your voice on the verge of a whine.

“Then maybe you should kiss me again,” he playfully taunts.

“Maybe I will!” you blurt out without thinking.

A fond smile appears on his face as he sees you react to your own words, timidly looking away when you register what you said. “Come ’ere” he says softly, reaching over to cup your face, bringing your gaze to his own.

As confident as Jungkook wants to seem, his nerves show when he takes a steadying breath before hesitantly leaning in, his eyes only falling shut when you reciprocate the action and move closer. It feels like an eternity until your lips finally meet and it feels strange and new, but it’s exciting and makes your heart race.

When you pull away, you feel shy, trying to hide the smile that threatens to pull at your hot cheeks, biting on your lips as you look everywhere but at Jungkook.

“You're cute,” he says when he sees the way you hold back your smile.

“Stoppp,” you playfully whine, feeling like you're going to implode with the way your heart pounds within your chest.

That earns a small chuckle of affection from Jungkook and his eyes finally leave you to return to the road. “We better get going,” he says and he presses on the gas.

There's still 40 minutes to go until you arrive at the lodge and you're not sure how long you've been pulled over on the side of the road, the other boys probably almost there. The drive is quiet, but not in the way it was before. You're comfortable just sitting here next to Jungkook, humming along to the radio and peeking over at him every once in awhile to see his smile that never fades.

Trudging into the mountainside lodge with all the bags that were stuffed into Yoongi's trunk, you're greeted by the guys who are lounging around a fireplace in the lobby.

“Took you long enough,” Namjoon says, being the first to spot you two.

“Did you pull over for a quicky?” Hoseok quips but you don't have time to respond when Jungkook begins speaking.

“Well actually,” he starts, earning an elbow in the side followed by an awkward chuckle on your part.

The boys all raise an eyebrow at you, but you're quick to ignore it. “Anyways, I should get checked in.”

“Don't worry, we already did that for you,” Taehyung pipes up as Seokjin rummages through his pocket to pull out a single key card.

“Uh,” you hesitate when he comes over to hand it to you and Jungkook.

“You were originally going to share with Taehyung,” Seokjin explains, prompting you to take the key, “but we figured this would make more sense.”

“Haha,” you sheepishly laugh, “I don't mind sharing with Tae! We're best buds right?” You try to get out of it, feeling flustered by just being in Jungkook's presence, but Taehyung isn't having any of it.

“Best friend my ass,” he grumbles. “You told Jimin you were madly in love with Jungkook and didn't even tell me!” he accuses.

“I didn’t tell anyone anything!” you defend, feeling your face get hot. “Jimin just made baseless assumptions!”

Jimin cocks an eyebrow at that. “They weren't baseless.”

“Anyways!” you pipe up, feeling like you've walked directly into the sun, “I can share with Yoongi.”

“That's a no from me,” Yoongi muses and you want to curse him for not cooperating.

“Did you forget who's funding this entire trip? So be grateful and take your bags to your room so we can go skiing,” Taehyung says, his words aren't malicious or condescending, merely just matter-of-factly and teasing.

“We'll see you guys soon,” Seokjin says handing Jungkook the key card that he takes between two fingers and gives a small salute.

“Don't get distracted,” Hoseok calls when your shoulders deflate and you turn to walk away.

“Come on, roomie,” Jungkook gleefully says and slings an arm around your shoulders.

Trying to wriggle out of his hold, you hiss, “stop it, they're watching!”

Jungkook leans down close so his lips are right by your ear. “Well I guess they're gonna have to get used to it.” And he presses a quick kiss to your temple, earning hollers and hoots from the boys behind you.

The day is spent on the slopes, learning how to ski and falling on your ass over and over again. There’s nothing but laughter and gleeful chatter as everyone rushes back to the ski lift each time they make it to the bottom of the hill. You’re all tired out by time the sun sets and all your stomachs begin to growl with dinner time approaching. Everyone decides to head up to their own rooms, washing up before a peaceful meal that consists of room service and some much needed rest.

It feels kind of odd sharing a room with Jungkook, you're still not exactly sure how to act around him; your attitudes toward one another have taken a complete 180, the bickering put to a rest and nothing but tenderness gracing your words. With the six other boys around all day, the shift isn't as noticeable, but now that is just you and Jungkook, you feel the slightest bit self conscious, not knowing how to act while at the same time trying to act normal. You quickly realize that you're worrying for no reason, conversation flowing naturally with the teasing jokes you are so used to still bringing friendly banter between you two.

Toting your duffle bag into the bathroom, you are the first to wash up while Jungkook makes the call to room service after having decided on the dinner menu together. You unzip the bag only to feel the tiniest bit flustered when you remember that you packed your favourite pair of pajamas - the set that Jungkook gave you. It's really the only pair you've been wearing lately, feeling some sort of closeness to Jungkook when you are dressed in the gift, but you didn't want Jungkook, or anyone else for that matter, to know.

Truth is, after having realized your secret crush was on Jungkook and not some nameless person, the crush only grew stronger. You stayed away from him as some sort of attempt not to hurt your pride, too proud to admit that your baseless and unfair opinion of Jungkook was so so far from reality. You felt conflicted and confused in the month you spent away from him, not sure what to make of everything. Looking back, you can't help but feel foolish. Being apart only made you want him more and the only thing that was keeping you from him was yourself. But that's all in the past, you think to yourself, shaking away the thoughts. If you've learned anything from all of this, it is to not hide from your feelings, so you put on the pajamas with a fondness in your smile, still shy but happy nonetheless.

You don't realize how long it has taken you to shower and freshen up until Jungkook can be heard through the door, calling your name and announcing that the food has arrived. He pays you no attention as you step out of the bathroom, busying himself with setting up the meal on the other side of the room. It's not until you're a few steps away from him does he turn around towards you, his face instantly lighting up with an ear splitting grin.

“You're wearing the pajamas,” he gleams, taking a good look at you with genuine happiness in his smile.

“You have excellent taste in sleepwear,” you cheekily compliment.

“I can't take all the credit, Namjoon's sister helped me picked them out,” Jungkook admits.

“Oh, I didn't know Namjoon has a sister.”

“Yeah, she's pretty hot-” he says on instinct, catching himself too late, “I mean…”

His words earn laughter from you, finding it cute the way he tries to back track. “You can call other girls hot, I don't own you.”

“I just don't want you getting jealous,” he is quick to retort.

You raise an eyebrow at that, “if anyone's the jealous type, it's you.”

“Me?!” Jungkook says in shock, as if you've just accused him of a grave crime.

“You literally wouldn't let anyone else help me off the ski lift,” you point out and he goes quiet for a moment.

“I just wanted to hold your hand,” Jungkook shyly admits, his regular tough guy demeanor crumbling to pieces as his cheeks redden.

“Is Jeon Jungkook going soft?” you say in exaggerated surprise, mocking him much easier than letting him know how devastatingly adorable the sentiment is.

“Only for you.”

And it's your turn to turn to mush, his words instantly melting you to the core as your face gets warm and your heart goes into a frenzy. “Um, we should probably eat…” you say, changing the subject, “before the food gets cold.”

Jungkook chuckles at your reaction, but doesn't say anymore, following your lead as you sit down at the table. Dinner flies by in no time even though when you look at the clock 2 hours have already gone by. Both you and Jungkook have been so caught up in conversation that you barely notice the minutes ticking by, but you don't mind it and neither does he. The time is spent getting reacquainted with each other, talking and laughing about all sorts of things you never realized you have in common, and just like that a few more hours go by until a yawn interrupts the conversation and the two of you decide to head to bed.

You're glad that nothing but darkness fills the room, your smile spreading across your cheeks so wide it's almost embarrassing. You lay curled up at Jungkook's side, his arms wrapped around you and your face buried in his chest. Like this, you can breathe in the familiar scent that seems to relax your entire body and you swear you can get drunk off of his cologne alone. Taking a deep breath, you subconsciously nuzzle your face close to Jungkook and bury yourself in his warmth. None of this feels real. You're scared you're going to open your eyes and find yourself alone on your living room couch, wrapped in a blanket that you're too attached to, but Jungkook's body feels so warm against you, his arms so tightly wrapped around you and it’s almost too good to be true. Almost.

“You know you're actually kinda creepy,” his voice suddenly says, pulling you out of the thoughts that were lulling you to sleep.

“I'm what?” you ask as you pull away from him, offended and your eyes search the dark for his.

“I mean, you like what I smell like,” Jungkook responds, the tiniest hint of amusement in his voice. He shifts on the mattress so he's laying on his side facing you.

“So?” you stubbornly defend yourself.

“That's kind of weird isn't it? You kept a blanket and a sweater just because it smelled like me,” he points out and his smile is teasing and ego inflating.

“I know it's weird, okay? Can we not talk about this?” you ask, feeling your face get hot.

“Would you say I smell like boyfriend material?” and you can hear the grin in his voice, positive that it's fat and wide, plastered across his face.

“Bye Jungkook,” is your response and you immediately roll onto your other side, turning your back to him.

“Hey, where are you going?” Jungkook says as soon as you pull your body away from him.

He scoots close to you and puts an arm around your waist to scoop you into his chest, pulling your back against him so his body spoons you.

“To sleep,” you speak out, trying to use as few words as possible as your heart begins to race, getting nervous for the umpteenth time just today.

“Not until you answer my question,” Jungkook murmurs, his lips so close to your neck that his breath tickles your skin. “Do I smell like boyfriend material?”

You roll your eyes even though you know he can't see you, and you can't believe you're lying here in the middle of the night being forced to feed his ego.

“Yes, Jungkook,” you dryly retort. “You smell, look, and feel like boyfriend material, happy?”

He hums in thought for a moment, “almost.”

Before you can ask him what more he wants from you, he unmolds himself from behind you so he has enough space to roll you over onto your back. He easily flips himself over so his body is hovering on top of yours. Your breath hitches at the proximity and your chest is so close to him you're scared he can feel your heart pounding.

“If I'm boyfriend material, can I be your boyfriend?” His voice is barely a whisper and if you hadn't felt the warmth of his breath on your lips, you would think you're dreaming.

Your voice is stuck in your throat and you're unable to speak; you respond with a nod, titling your head up ever so slightly so your lips just barely brush his. There is only a moment of hesitation before you lean all the way in to kiss him and he’s kissing you back.

Before you can get lost in the softness of his lips and the gentleness of his touch, Jungkook hardly pulls away, not enough that your lips part but enough to speak. “I want to hear you say it.”

“Yes Jungkook, yes, yes, yes, you can be my boyfriend,” you shamelessly say, letting your excitement and eagerness seep into your words.

Jungkook quickly kisses you again, molding his lips to yours before he can't hide his smile anymore and he’s forced to stop kissing you, his wide grin making it impossible to keep your lips locked any longer. He rolls back onto his side, taking you with him as his arms tightly squeeze you into his chest.

With your head tucked under his chin, you don’t need to look up to know he’s still smiling when he speaks his next words. “Good night girlfriend.”

“Good night boyfriend,” you shyly respond with the same giddiness making your heart thump. And you feel all warm and fuzzy inside because although you two confessed your feelings for each other earlier in the day, the formality of it being official makes your heart race and cheeks flush.

Morning comes with the ringing of a phone that isn't familiar. It doesn't stop and Jungkook is a heavy sleeper, so you find yourself peeling your eyes open in search for the device that’s too loud to ignore. It takes you a moment to realize that it's the hotel phone on the bedside table that has so abruptly pulled you out of sleep and you reach over to answer it with a tired ‘hello?’.

“Good morning Ms. Y/N, this is your 9:30 wake up call. The forecast calls for another sunny day on the hills, we hope you enjoy your stay,” the pleasant, but almost automatic voice states.

“Thank you?” you unsurely say before hanging up, confused about why you are receiving a hotel service that you surely did not order.

Less than a minute later, your phone buzzes from where you left it last night and you grab it to see a notification from Taehyung lighting up the screen.

Thirsty Tae (9:31am): since ur awake, we're all having breakfast in my room. get your asses here before all the food is gone

And that explains the wake up call.

You roll your eyes before telling him that you and Jungkook will be there and he sends you his room number with an excessive amount of smiley faces and hearts.

Walking into Taehyung's room, the rest of the guys are already there, lounging around with their plates already full with a variety of food from the number of carts that have been rolled in by room service. Taehyung is the first to greet the two of you, bouncing your way with open arms and a gleeful ‘good morning’ while the five others stay seated but give you their morning salutations as well.

“Did you guys consummate the relationship last night?” Hoseok teases with a waggle of his eyebrows.

“Please, I’m not that easy,” you lightly respond, brushing off his words.

“Trust me, I know,” Taehyung nonchalantly adds, “I've offered more than once.”

“Hey, that's my girlfriend you're talking about,” Jungkook quickly says, getting defensive.

“Chill out, he's just joking,” you tell Jungkook before turning back to Taehyung. “Maybe we'll let you in on some action sometime,” you casually tease.

“No thanks,” Taehyung responds, shrugging it off as he plops onto the bed with his plate of food, “you can have Jungkook to yourself.”

“Good,” Jungkook responds instead of getting offended, “because I don't plan on sharing.”

Putting aside the teasing, you and Jungkook pile your plates with food and cross the room to squish onto the two seater couch that Jimin occupies. Jimin scooches over to allow you two squeeze in and you beam up at him feeling all kinds of grateful this morning.

“Say ‘ah’,” Jungkook softly calls over to you, pulling you out of the conversation you're trying to follow between the other six boys.

Giving him a blushing smile, you easily abide and open your mouth so he can pop in a piece of fruit. Jungkook continues feeding you off of his plate and the two of you become wrapped up in your own world, paying no attention to the other guys in the room.

When he gives you a bite of his pancake, he motions to the corner of his lip, “you have a little-” he says, letting you know that you've got a drop of syrup on your face.

Instead of wiping it away with your hand like any capable person would, you nudge your face forward and Jungkook chuckles, using his thumb to swipe it away and he licks the digit clean.

“Thank you,” you sweetly coo.

“Anytime, cutie,” Jungkook gleefully answers.

This interaction earns fake gagging sounds from the other side of you, and you whip your head around to see Jimin getting up.

“I preferred it when they were always fighting,” Jimin grumbles in disgust at the sickeningly sweet scene he had to watch unfold in front of him.

Remembering there are other people than just you and Jungkook in the room, you look across to the other side in time to see Namjoon handing over a twenty dollar bill to Seokjin. Jungkook follows your curious gaze and instantly stands from his seat, marching over to them with accusations of some bet you don't really quite understand. Before you can figure out exactly what it is they're squabbling about, your line of sight is blocked by Yoongi who approaches you with a glass of orange juice and hands it to you.

You gratefully take it and he plops down next to you on the couch to absorb everything that's going on in the room. Jimin joins Hoseok and Taehyung on the bed where they swipe through a dating app, commenting on whether each candidate is a ‘smash or pass’ (Hoseok's words); Jungkook is animatedly arguing with Seokjin and Namjoon who pay him no attention, and it feels like you're all back at Yoongi's, hanging out and wasting time with nothing on your mind but the enjoyment of being together.

“I'm glad things are back to normal,” Yoongi tells you once his eyes have traveled across the room and back to you. “We missed having you around.”

“Things are better than normal,” you reply without looking at him. Instead, your eyes stay trained on Jungkook, staring affectionately at the big dork who has managed to steal your heart.

Yoongi wants to roll his eyes at the cheesy response, but it's endearing and it's been a long time coming, so he simply nods his head in agreement.

[A/N]: ahhhhhhhh we made it!!! thank you to everyone for reading! i love you and appreciate you all 🤧🤧

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sincerely-us-imagines · 6 years

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Gather ‘round children, and let me tell you a tale that exposes my true idiotic nature.

So, as some of you may know, I spent all of last week with my brother (or rather, at my brother’s apartment). We were supposed to hang out and go to a concert together but he kind of blew me off and acted like i didn’t exist, and ended up making an excuse to not have to go to the concert with me (and didn’t apologize or offer to pay me back for his ticket, but that’s not what this is about).

Here’s a little backstory:

So, I had been posting on snapchat with the location filters, and i get a message from a friend i haven’t seen (or really talked to) since graduation, 2.5 years ago. Turns out she actually lived there (it’s a popular college town), and was going to the concert too and asked if i wanted to pregame (read as: get stoned, eat mexican food, and listen to tmg) and ofc i accepted. It had been a while since we’d hung out, and even in high school we weren’t that close, so it was a little awkward at first, but we both loosened up and ended up having a great time! She was bringing another friend with her and he was super sweet and very nice to me and didn’t mind me tagging along at all! We went to the concert and had an amazing time, sang as loud as we could along with the rest of the crowd, cried, and got cheap, greasy, delicious pizza afterwards. She had class and work in the morning, so the night got cut kinda short-ish. She drops me off at my brother’s apartment at around 1 a.m. and right before i get out, she mentions she’s going to a party the next night and would love if i came with her. So of course, wanting to spend more time with my friend AND go to my first real party, i agreed.

Her friend drives, and they pick me up at ~10, and i’m already a little uh,,, baked,, but only enough to be excited for the night and not panicking bc social anxiety. So we get to her friend’s (definitely haunted) house and go in. there’s probably 20-ish people there. I’m a little uncomfortable, but not anxious. I follow her around for a little while, standing in the kitchen and listening to everyone talk. It is at this point that i realize that every single person there is a political science major. And working on a campaign for a local politician. And using a lot of terms that i don’t know and talking about people i’ve never met. My friend noticed i was kind of uncomfortable and offered me a drink, which i gladly accept.

I’m halfway through my first vodka + grapefruit juice when everyone (literally every person at the party + the host’s 2 roommates, who had been in their rooms up until this point) gather on the front porch to smoke. So i’m like “hell yeah free weed”. Until they pull out a bong. It comes to me and i have to tell my friend i don’t know how to use a bong. She shows me and I? Kind of? Figure it out? A little?? I laugh and make a comment on how i’ve never used one because if i can’t hide it from my mom, i can’t have it. One roommate (who i believe was named mitch?? So we’ll just call him that) says “oh, hang on” and goes inside, returning moments later with a pipe and a dime bag, and comes to stand beside me. He smiles and whispers that he’s got better stuff than what everyone else is smoking. We pass the pipe back and forth, just the two of us, and someone brings the vodka out and i top off my drink.

So at this point i am loud, not thinking at all about what i’m saying, and pretty out of it. Everyone but me and mitch are talking about politics. Someone says something funny about local government being stupid. And i don’t know much about local government, but even i knew that the policy they were referring to was ridiculous. I *started to vocalize this, but lost my train of thought halfway through my sentence, so this is what came out of my mouth (imagine this is a little louder than someone should be talking, slightly slurred, and giggly):

“I will be the first to admit that i am a fucking idiot. An absolute dunce. Dumb bitch hours are 24/7, 365 baby!”

and then stopped, because i couldn’t remember what i was meaning to say. So really, i just announced to approximately 20 strangers that i’m fucking stupid. Which i’m pretty sure they already knew anyway. Everyone was quiet. All of these drunk and stoned college kids were completely silent, just staring at me. And i said nothing else. Eventually everyone goes back inside.

There was one guy who i was kind of?? Shamelessly flirting with the entire time? And i’m fairly sure he was flirting back but i suck at recognizing that so i’m really not sure lmao. But anyway, there’s 2 sofas, a loveseat, a big chair, and a papasan chair. Me and the guy i’m flirting with were the last ones inside so we were stuck sitting on the floor together. Someone goes to the bathroom, so he takes the opportunity to steal their seat, leaving me alone in the floor. Then mitch, who was sitting with 3 people in a 2 person seat, asked if i wanted to sit with him instead of on the ground by myself. So i squeeze between him and another guy who i didnt know, and ended up with one of my legs halfway in his lap due to the seating arrangement.

This is where i started being a real dumbass.

He was talking to me, asking questions, whatever, when his dog (who i had already met) comes into the room. We both start reaching towards him and calling him, and he ends up coming to me. I laugh and kind of gloat, leaning down and talking to the dog but looking at him and said “what a sweet baby! You like me more, don’t you? Daddy doesn’t treat you right, huh? Daddy doesn’t know how to treat this baby!” and i’m completely kidding, not really realizing that i looked this guy in the eye and referred to him as “daddy” while leaning over his lap. So there’s my first mistake with this guy.

Second mistake (which was potentially very dangerous. I seriously could’ve gotten hurt and you guys need to NOT be like me) was when i finished my drink and was playing with my empty cup. He offers to get me a refill and i agree. He asks me what i want and i say “anything but beer. That shit is nasty.” and I let this guy who i had just met that night leave the room with my cup and fill it up with whatever. After i got home and sobered up i realized how badly the night could’ve gone because i was too inebriated to think of what could happen, which was really scary.

Luckily, though, mitch wasn’t a shitty person, and comes back with a screwdriver. He sits back down and hands me the cup. I’m not coordinated at all, so i grab the cup with both hands, and overlap my hands with his. I notice that he’s got, like, piano player fingers. So i position myself back how i was (kind of almost sort of in his lap), take my drink, and grab his hand and say, while giggling, “wow, your fingers are sooo long! oh my god!” and marveling over them (mistake #3). I did NOT realize at the time how this sounded at the time and i literally cringe thinking back on it. He kind of smiled at me and said “yeah, i’ve gotten that before. I’m pretty good with them, too.” I didn’t understand what he meant so i just laughed and took a big gulp from my drink, which was a LOT stronger than it was the first time. Like, legit probably half and half. But i swallow it without even really making a face because: a) i’m too blitzed to care and b) i’m not a pussy anyway lmao

And he looks legitimately impressed and says “wow, you swallowed that without even gagging” and i’m!!! Fucking stupid!!! And thought he was literally just talking about liquor!! So i say “yeah i’m pretty good at that” in a very smug manner bc!! like i’m kind of a lightweight (mostly bc i don’t eat that much so i usually drink on an empty or almost empty stomach) but i have never thrown up from drinking and i can down it with a mostly straight face. I know now that my attitude, the way i’m sitting, and p much everything i’ve said to him so far sounds really suggestive. So that’s the fourth mistake.

We sit there a little while longer and i finish my drink and have half of another and talk about all kinds of things. He asks what i’m interested in and i say mostly broadway musicals and video games, but a few other things too. He nods along while i talk and i say-- with literally NO other implications other than what i actually said- “I bet you’re really good at video games. You know, because of your fingers. Like, you can probably hit all the right buttons without even having to think twice about it.” which, totally sober, i realize doesn’t actually make any sense, and sounded like a really nerdy euphemism, but it made sense in the moment.

So he says “yeah, i like to think i am. I’ve got a console in my bedroom if you wanna play with me?” and he’s kind of leaned in mumbling this in my ear and that makes perfect sense to me because it’s loud and of course it would make it easier for me to hear!!! now, I am well aware that i am fucked up and poorly coordinated and i know that i wouldn’t be able to play video games very well and i’d end up making an ass out of myself and possibly falling asleep in his bed and i didn’t really want to do either of those things. So i tell him that i’m too drunk for that and probably wouldn’t be very good at the moment.

He told me he understood and that it wasn’t a problem and he’s fine just hanging out with me out here. And drunk me was like wow!! That is so nice!! This guy is now my best friend!! So i lean over on his shoulder and just talk the rest of the night.

At like 2 am he tells me he has to be at work in the morning and that he should go to bed, but that the next time i’m in town i should hit him up and we could hang out and play video games. So i give him a HUGE hug bc drunk me is v affectionate and thanked him for hanging out with me and that i would love to see him again

I literally didn’t realize how ANY of this sounded until i got home at like 3:30 and called my boyfriend to tell him everything lmao

#long post #not an imagine #mouse.txt #story time #also uhhh i talk abt drinking and weed in this so if that makes u uncomfy probably dont read it #anyway i'm a dumbass

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hello-justawriterofthings · 6 years

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Want You Back - [ No More Sad Songs - Part 2.5 ]

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Continuing No More Sad songs, just using a favorite song title, but I'm noticing as I write the story, it doesn't really match the actual song. I also watched the last episode of Stranger Things season 2 about 10 times in a row, to get all the wording right. So I hope you're enjoying this series, even though I don't think it's my best work, but I’ve had a great time writing it <3

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The week went on as normal, me not speaking to Billy and Billy trying to make me jealous, by sucking face with different girls everyday. Was I jealous, not exactly, sure I had some feelings towards him and at the moment, they weren't good feelings either. That night I spent with Billy was great, but if he wondered why I thought he was an ass, he wasn't helping his case by doing this. I let out a deep sigh as my locker was forcibly shut, I glared at the person who did it. " What the hell Steve " I groaned while starring at him, " You really made an impression on Hargrove, nearly beat my ass today asking what we had going on? " he sighed deeply. I rolled my eyes as I opened my locker back up, " Did you tell him about... Us? " he then questioned. " There was no us Steve, we screwed around, that was it... And no, I didn't tell him. Only Nick and Jonathan knew about what happened between us " I stated, " Jonathan knew? " he asked. " He's to smart Steve, so let's just drop this " I sighed shutting my locker, " You moved on and so have I ". " I didn't.... " he started, but I sighed deeply before cutting him off " You did ". I walked away from that conversation, walked right past Billy and the goons, not even batting a eye. After school I drove home, letting out a sigh as I parked my bike in the driveway. I heard a car door slam behind me " You know! I don't understand you! ", I turned around to see Billy stomping up the driveway. " What ever do you mean? " I questioned with an innocent act, " I've been trying to get your attention for the last week and all you've been doing is ignoring me " he scoffed. " You've been trying the wrong way " I rolled my eyes, " You're ignoring me, why? " he questioned. " I wasn't ignoring you " I muttered as I walked towards my house, " Yeah right. We made plans for last Saturday, gave me your number, then completely ignored every call I made! So Bullshit, you weren't ignoring me " he scoffed as he followed. " I had shit going on with my brother that night you took me home, so excuse me that I was too upset to answer the phone. I stayed in my room that entire weekend, I don;t understand why it matters to you so much, we spent a few hours together " I spat back unlocking my front door, " It doesn't matter to me that much, it just pissed me off " he muttered. " Well, I'm sure you've gotten over it by now, moved on " I stated, " Why do you always do that, you assume everything when it comes to me " he questioned. " Because I'm not wrong! You've been trying to get my attention all week by making out with other girls, how many did you have sex with? " I spat, making him sigh deeply. " See, maybe we're just to different to hangout... " I sighed running my hand through my hair, " Bullshit, we could be perfect together, we're both kind of assholes " he exclaimed. I rolled my eyes, True. He wasn't wrong. He groaned deeply while pushing me up against the front door and slammed his lips onto mine, that spark, that damn park was back. After a few seconds of kissing, he pulled away. " Don't act like you don't feel that... " he sighed deeply, I didn't reply though. I let out a deep sigh before grabbing his hand and pulled him into my house, you probably know what happened next.

The next morning, I rolled over in bed, only to collide with another body. " Good morning Princess " Billy smirked, I couldn't help but smile slightly " Still with the nicknames? ". He chuckled " Get used to it Princess ", I couldn't help but roll my eyes. " Are you always going to roll your eyes at me? " he asked with a brow raised, " Get used to it, Princess " I smirked as I threw my blankets off and stood up. Walking over to my closet, pulling on a large t - shirt. " Why can't we just stay in bed all day? " he yawned, I sighed as I slipped a pair of pants on " Because it's the middle of the week and I'm not skipping school to lay around all day ". " Not even for me? " he asked with a pout, " Not even for you, now get dressed, Bathroom's down the hall " I smiled throwing his clothes at him. I heard him groan as I opened my bedroom door and made my way towards the kitchen, Nick was sitting at the table, sipping coffee and reading the newspaper. " So... Have fun last night? " Nick stated with a smirk, I rolled my eyes as I grabbed two bowls and a box of cereal. " Don't say a word when he comes down okay, don't embarrass me " I stated seriously while pouring cereal into the two bowls, he shrugged " You two are the ones who kept me up all night. I'm starting my new job on the force today ". " Sorry... Forgot you were joining Hoppers team today " I sighed as I heard Billy's footsteps coming from the bathroom, I let out a deep sigh ( Please have a shirt on, Please don't still be naked ). I groaned deeply when I saw him enter the kitchen, fully clothed, but his shirt was completely unbuttoned. Nick chuckled slightly at Billy's shocked expression, I guess seeing my brother in a deputy outfit took him by surprise. " Did you sleep well last night Billy? " Nick asked with a smile, crossing his arms over his chest. " Uhh... How do you know my name? " Billy asked curiously, but also looked at me with a smirk ( Like I had been talking about him to my brother, yeah right ). " Oh Little Y/N said it enough last night. More like screamed it " he chuckled as he stood up, I glared at him intensely. " Just don't hurt my sister, I know where you live and I carry a gun " Nick walked out of the house seconds later, " You never told me your brother was a cop " Billy groaned deeply as he sat down on one of the kitchen chairs. " He just joined the force, calm down " I smirked, which made him sigh deeply. " So, it's time for a serious talk " I sighed while sitting across from him at the table, " Oh shit, not serious talk " he whined while looking at me intensely. " Are you going to ignore me in school, or in public? " I questioned avoiding eye contact, I felt pathetic for asking, but I just needed to know. I didn't want to experience the same thing I did with Steve. " I don't think after a night like last night, I could just ignore you. Why would I anyways " he asked with a slight smirk, I shrugged slightly " Just a past experience ". " Well whoever treated you like that, is a dumb ass... Who was it? " he asked curiously, " Just some guy from school, nothing to be worried about " I sighed deeply. " I better not have to worry, I don't plan on sharing " he smirked pulling my onto his lap, I rolled my eyes " Time for school Hargrove, Let's go ". I quickly got up and walked towards the door, " But, I'm not done with my cereal " he whined. I rolled my eyes while opening the front door, he groaned deeply while following. " Button it up " I stated seriously, he smirked before buttoning a few of the buttons on his shirt. " Let me drive you today " he smiled, I sighed deeply " Okay fine, but if any of your little play things try and start anything with me, you'd better step in or last night might not ever happen again ". " You're kind of evil aren't you " he smirked, which only caused me to smile at him. " Okay, let's go. I gotta drive Max, you don't mind right " he asked, I smiled at him slightly. " What! " he exclaimed loudly, quickly getting into the drivers seat. " You just ask me if something's okay, I would've expected you to demand everything " I smirked crossing my arms, he chuckled " Clearly takes a certain kind of woman to tame the beast ". " Ew " I heard from behind me, I glanced over my shoulder to see a young red headed girl. I chuckled quietly as she climbed into the backseat of his car, I quickly jumped into the passenger seat. As we drove, I feared for my life at first, but after a few minutes, I calmed down. " Are you Y/N? " I heard Max ask, I chuckled slightly while nodding. " So, are you guys okay. I don't want to deal with another weekend when Billy hogs the phone and never shuts up about you " sh sighed deeply, " I have my own friends, maybe I want to talk to them sometimes ". I glanced over at Billy and smirked, " What, those nerds you hang out with " he scoffed. Max mumbled something under her breath, but I couldn't make out what she said. The rest of the ride was a bit on the awkward side, it was extremely quiet, except for the loud ass radio. Once we arrived in the parking lot, I got out of Billy's car, allowing Max to get out and run across to the middle school. " What was that about? " I questioned, " Her friends are not nerds, they're good kids ". Billy rolled his eyes and groaned as he stepped out of his car, but didn't say anything. I grabbed my bag as I shut the door, " You should be a little nicer to Max, one day you might regret being a dick to her " I stated with a sigh. He sent me a small glare " You're not the boss of me you know, we spent one night together ", " Fine! " I exclaimed as I started walking towards the building. I heard him groan deeply the further I got, but before I walked into the building I turned around, noticing Carol and Tommy standing next to him now. " Actually we spent two nights together and they weren't that satisfying in my opinion! " I shouted back while wearing a smirk, then made my way into the building, letting out a small sigh.

Steve was standing by my locker, giving me one of those looks. " So, you didn't listen to my warning? " he questioned, " Don't know what you mean? " I smiled innocently. " Y/N " he stated sternly, I rolled my eyes " What Steve? Wanna tell me I'm making a bad decision, I probably am, but I've made so many bad decisions, one more isn't gonna hurt me ". He sighed deeply " Just watch yourself with him, I've seen the anger and violent side of him, Just protect yourself ", I sighed deeply. " Just know that being around him is already causing a shit storm of rumors " he stated with another one of those Steve looks. " What rumors? " I questioned curiously, " Just that Billy gave you a ride this morning... If you needed a ride this morning, you should've called me " he sighed, I rolled my eyes " Stop whatever you're doing, we were never friends, so just because some other guy is showing a little attention towards me, now you care. You didn't care when you were dating Nancy ". He sighed deeply " I know, I'm sorry! I regret the way I treated you and ignored you, Lied! I regret it all and if there's any chance that we could have a friendship, I would do anything ", I stared at him for a few seconds before sighing. " Alright... Meet me at the pizza place after school, we can talk about a potential friendship " I smiled before walking down the hallway, headed towards my first class. After a few hours of classes, it was now lunch. I was a bit on edge because not only had I had people whispering about me, but I had yet to see Nancy or Jonathan. Who was I supposed to have lunch with, Steve? Awkward, Billy and the posse', even worse. I walked into the cafeteria, ignoring the stared of everyone. I sat down at the empty table, praying to see a familiar face. I let out a deep sigh when someone sat down next to me, but it none f my friends. " Wow, it is really sad that you have no real friends " Carol smirked, followed by Tommy laughing. I clenched my jaw, just telling myself ' Don't freak out, don't freak out '. " Carol, shut it! " Billy barked, which shut everyone up.Part of me wanted to thank him, the other part wanted to smack him. I glanced up to see the table full of people, people I had not once ever spoke to. " You okay " Billy questioned, probably sensing how uncomfortable I was. I shrugged my shoulder slightly, but kept my mouth closed. " Oh she's fine, she's a loser, but she's fine " Tommy chuckled, now I was telling myself not to flip the table and kick some ass. " I said shut it!! " Billy growled, " No Billy, she screws you one time and then acts like stuck up bitch. We all know she's not some innocent little girl! " Carol groaned rolling her eyes, " Oh fuck off " I stated clearly. Everything went quiet, which only made what I was about to say, a hell of a lot louder. " You think I'm a loser, if anybody here are losers, it's you two. You're the biggest fucking hypocrites, you think your so high and mighty, but all you two are are a bunch of followers. Steve chose someone over you and you ditched him for Mr. California. I can't believe anyone is this school is actually afraid of you. Not me, not anymore, because I've always wondered what it would be like to hit you, should that day be today that I finally do it! " I exclaimed shoving my tray towards them and standing up, matching out of the cafeteria. " Hey, Hey Hey " I heard someone say while following me, I knew it was Billy, I just didn't know if I wanted to talk to him. He grabbed my hand which forced me to stop, " What the hell was that? " he asked. I glanced at him with a small shrug, he quickly grabbed my face and placed a kiss on my lips. " It was very hot " he smirked, which made me chuckle slightly. " Can I see you tonight? " he questioned with a smile, " Can't tonight, I made plans with Steve " I sighed leaning against the locker. " What? Since when did you know Harrington? " he scoffed," Since forever, he and I grew up in this town, we're friends " I stated unsure if it was even the truth. He clenched his jaw tightly while sharing at me intensely, " Yeah right, you know what... Forget it " he scoffed as he walked away. " Billy, come on! " I called after him, just to get ignored in the end. Great, why are all these guys so dramatic.

Once school was let out, I figured since little Billy boy was mad at me for no reason, I walked home, which was a half an hour walk. But don't worry, Billy made sure to drive past me, like an ass. When I got home, I let out a deep sigh after seeing Billy leaning up against his car in my driveway. " What do you want now!? " I exclaimed, this was like a game of cat and mouse, that I didn't want to play. " I was supposed to drive you home " he smirked, I glared at him " You're driving me insane, I hope you know that ". He chuckled as he walked towards me " Hopefully in a good way ", " In a confused way, you're weird. Mad one second, then smirking at me the next, what is with you " I sighed shaking my head. He chuckled while grabbing my hand " I told you i like you, I can't stay away. It's not easy to show many emotions, but I wanna be different with you ", I nodded slightly " Remember this morning when I told you about a guy that, didn't speak to me in school or in public ". He sighed while nodding, " It was Steve. He and I used to mess around, I liked him a lot. He had a reputation of King Steve, so basically he ignored me in school and in public. Then when I was tired of sneaking around, he shut me out and started dating Nancy. He and I have a past, he wants to make up for it, wants to try to form a friendship. What you and I have is two days together, I want to sped more with you, but nothing is going on with Steve if that's what you're worried about " I sighed honestly. He took a deep breathe in, looking a bit on edge. Things went quiet, which didn't look good to me. I let out a deep sigh " Just don't start a fight with him ", I then started walking towards my house. It wasn't until I heard his car start up, that I regretted my decision to be honest. I got ready to go over the the pizza place, which I didn't want to go to now, but I wanted to give Steve the benefit of the doubt. I rode my bike over and sat at the window table, then I waited... And waited. As I watched out the window, I saw Billy's car go by, it was quick, but I could tell he wasn't alone. What was I now feeling, sadness? I barely knew him, how could this already hurt. " You know he's using you " I heard a familiar voice state, it was Carol. " He's attracted to your innocence and bravery, you were just a quest to conquer and you gave up so easily " she stated while walking over to the table where Tommy sat, I sighed deeply. I didn't want her words to affect me so much, but they did, maybe I should've known better. I left the pizza place when 7 pm hit, clearly Steve wasn't going to show. I walked into my dark house, Nick was still working. I was just happy I didn't have to explain anything to him, shit was complicated.

A few days passed by, not once did I see Nancy, Jonathan or even Steve. I spent some time with Billy though, he showed up at my house the night I was supposed to hang out with Steve. We talked mostly, kissed a little, things felt like they were moving fast, but also so slow. More rumors had started of Billy and I and as much as I tried to ignore it, it wasn't easy. Billy starts fights with people who looked at him or I the wrong way, if someone would make a comment about the rumors, they'd be headed to the nurses office soon. I found it odd. It's not like we were in a relationship, from what people say, Billy didn't date. He seemed like he was willing when he was with me, but maybe it was all an act. On Thursday night, there was a small party, that I was invited too ( Surprisingly ), which was weird because it was at Carol's house. I went with Billy, he drove of course. I drank a bit too much, on top of that, more people were coming at me with information on Billy. " Oh he was at Tina's Tuesday night " ( Lie ). " I slept with him a few days ago, he's get in bed right? " ( Lie ) " Stop trying to change him, he doesn't need to be with someone like you. You're a nobody ". That one came from Tina herself, " He also drove me around when you were to busy with Steve ". I knew that one was the truth, she had been the one with him. I was overwhelmed and drunk, so I ended up walking outside. Billy caught up, I did everything in my power to get away from him. I confronted him about everything everyone was saying, " Why are you trying to run from me, I'm not letting you go that easy " he stated seriously. " But why me! You've gone through so many other girls in this town, I don't understand " I exclaimed, " Clearly you're never going to understand that I like you, you don't take shit from anyone, you're strong and loving. And I know my past is fucked up, you're never going to see past that I guess! So I'm going to stop fucking trying " he shouted loudly running his hands through his hair. I glanced down, again regretting everything. " Let me drive you home " he then sighed, " You don't have to, I can just call Nick " I stated in my drunken haze. " Y/N... " he groaned while getting in t he car, I nodded quickly while getting in the passenger seat. It was a quiet ride to my house, he didn't even have the radio playing. " I'm sorry Billy " I sighed quietly, he didn't reply. I looked out the window as we pulled up in front of my house, " You know, I've got a pretty shitty life at home, so I thought I could escape it and spend sometime with someone I enjoy being around " he stated with a sigh. If I didn't feel guilty before, I did now. " I guess I'm just not meant for a happy, normal life. I'll just get back to my playboy ways, that's all I'm good for right? " he sighed deeply, lighting a cigarette. " Billy I'm sorry! " I whispered loud enough for him to hear, he shook his head " You're sorry doesn't mean shit to me right now ". I had to get out of this car, before I started crying, his words and the alcohol were affecting me so much and I didn't want to cry in front of him. " I'm sorry " I muttered as I slid out of the car, then basically ran into the house. Nick was sitting on the couch, his arm draped around his girlfriend Amy's shoulder ( The high school sweethearts ). When I busted through the front door, I had tears already streaming down my face, I felt pathetic. Nick jumped up, " What's wrong? " he questioned. I shook my head " I don't want to talk about it ", I then ran to my room , shutting the door, but not locking it. I striped out of my party clothes, before throwing myself onto my bed. Seconds later, my phone rang. I answered it, hoping it was Billy, there was something about him that I just couldn't shake. " Hello? " I asked quietly, " Y/N... " I heard Steve sigh. " Steve?! Where have you been? " I asked loudly, I heard him nervously chuckle " Can't really explain that now, I just wanted to call and make sure everything was going okay ". I furrowed my brows, " What?... Everything's fine with me... What's going on? " I asked. " I can't tell you... Not yet, I will one day I Promise " he sighed, then I heard communication coming from his end. " I gotta go Y/N, stay safe " he exclaimed, then hung up. I sat there, my hand still grasping my phone. What was going on? What kind of call was that?

That night I tried to sleep, but after Steve's call, I was worried, not just for him but for Nancy and Jonathan, wherever the hell they were. I didn't go to school the next day, hoping I could just escape my problems for a day. But they found me, later that night. I was sitting in my room, reading a book. It was about, 10:50 pm. All of a sudden there was a noise at my window, which was open slightly. I put my book down, taking a deep breath before getting up and walking towards it. I was about to close it, when Billy came out of nowhere, pushing the window up all the way, so he could fit through it. I shrieked quietly " What the hell Billy! ", I ran over to my door and locked it quickly, no needing Nick barging in with a gun. " What are you doing here? " I asked him as he took off his jacket, he didn't respond. " Billy " I sighed walking towards him, that's when I noticed his face. He had a small bruise on his cheek, " Billy, what happened? " I whispered sitting down on my bed next to him. He looked upset, not in an angry way, but in a sad way. Since he wasn't answering, I just did what I felt was right, I hugged him. Surprisingly, he hugged me back and we just sat there, quietly. After a few minutes, he spoke. " I'm sorry I came, just didn't know where else to go " he sighed, " It's okay, don't worry about it " I whispered. " Told you I had a shitty life at home " he sighed hugging me tighter, I let out a deep sigh " Wanna sleep here? ". He shoved his face into my neck and nodded, " Even though it might get me into more trouble, I don't want to leave " he added. I nodded before I pulled away, shutting off my light and shutting the window. He and I laid in my bed silently for a while, so silent I thought he had fallen asleep. " Thanks for letting me stay " he sighed as he pulled me close, " It's alright... Billy about yesterday, I'm so sorry for how I acted. I'm insecure about all this, not many guys have taken an interest in me, so this is new for me " I sighed deeply. " I get it. but you've got to understand that you're the first person I've met in this town, that I actually like and want to spend time with. I'm not going to fuck that up " he stated honestly, I chuckled quietly " Okay I'll try, but your friends. Your followers are assholes ". That got a loud chuckle from him " Will you let me take you out? ", " Like on a date? " I gasped. He chuckled again " Yes, don't sound so surprised ", I sighed deeply " Alright ". And with that, things were better, but I still had Steve in the back of my mind. Billy did take me out the next day, it was nothing big or extravagant. We just got dinner, went for a drive and spent some time at the beach, it was perfect to me. I still hadn't heard from Steve, Nancy or Jonathan, which still had me confused. I just wanted to know that everyone was okay.

Sunday morning I got a call from Billy, asking to go out again. " You don't have to ask you know " I chuckled, " Well, I don't want to expect anything... I just wanted to make sure you weren't busy " he stated. " You're adorable " I smirked, making him groan loudly " I an not! I'll pick you up later ". I chuckled " Okay, Sex god, see you later ", " That's more like it ". After hanging up, I showered and got ready. Nick was sitting in the kitchen when I walked out of my room, I smiled at him as I grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge. " So, are you going out with Billy again? " Nick questioned curiously, I nodded with a small smile. He smiled back " Just tell him next time he wants to come visit you at 10:30 at night, to just use the front door instead of the window ", I looked at him with a shocked look. He chuckled " I was young once too Y/N, I snuck into many girls windows in my time ", " Ew " I scoffed. He laughed slightly " I don't care if he comes around or stays the night, he just made so much noise climbing in that window, so tell him to use the front door ", I nodded giving him a quick hug. Before I walked back into my room, Nick spoke again. " I can tell your happy and if he's making you happy, spend as much time with him as possible " he smiled, which caused me to smile back " Okay, thanks for not freaking out ". He nodded once more, before I walked back into my room to finish getting ready.

After the finishing touches, I walked into the living room, sitting down on one of the arm chairs. Nick and Amy were all snuggled up on the couch, watching some movie. " Excited for your date night? " Amy smiled widely, I nodded smiling as well. " Do you know where he's taking you? " Nick asked in big brother mode, " No, we're probably just going to drive around " I sighed. " Well, just use protection " Nick stated, causing Amy to smack him. I chuckled " Don't worry Nick, I've got it covered ", Nick nodded but grimaced. Moments later a horn sounded and that was my cue, I quickly said my goodbyes before leaving the house. I dashed over to Billy's car, getting in quickly. " You're late " I joked, my smile soon dropped as I saw the tense look on his face. " What's wrong? " I asked with a huff, " I gotta find Max before we can go out " he muttered. " That's fine, where is she? " I asked as he pulled out of my driveway, " Well I went to the Wheelers, but apparently She's over at the Byers house. I had to use my charm to get the directions from Karen. She wanted me " he smirked. I rolled my eyes " Ew! I could've just given you the directions, I grew up with the Byers ", " Oh " he groaned. " Yeah, oh " I chuckled, " I can't believe you were flirting with Mrs. Wheeler! ". He groaned deeply " Why? Are you jealous ", " Yeah right, she's nice, but come on " I scoffed. " Don't worry, you won't lose me to her " he chuckled, only making me roll my eyes. On the way to the Byers house, we talked. I could still tell he was annoyed, " I just hope that little shit is there, my dad's going to kick my ass if I can't find her " I heard him mutter. " Hey, don't call her that " I stated, " She's a pain, I told you how my dad is. Treats her like a saint and me like, a fucking disappointment. I don't understand why she needs a damn babysitter, she's 13 years old. Hell, when I was 13 I was... " he sighed stopping himself from finishing. " I could only imagine how you were at that age " I smirked, " All I'm saying is she's a pain, we'd be going off on our date, instead of trying to find her " he muttered. " It's fine Billy " I sighed placing my hand on his, but he was still aggravated, something told me when we did find max, it wasn't going to be a very good reunion. When we pulled up outside of the Byers house, I noticed Steve's car parked out front. Billy revved the engine, letting anyone around know was he was coming. He stopped the car and gave me a ' Stay in the car ' look, Steve was already standing outside of the home, waiting. Billy got out of the car while lighting a cigarette, " Am I dreaming or is that you Harrington? " Billy asked. Steve replied with something, but I couldn't make out what he said. Billy took off his leather jacket, threw it in the drivers seat and then shut the door. I'm guessing Steve hadn't noticed me yet, what the fuck was Billy doing? They walked towards each other slightly, having some kind of chat. The longer I sat there, watching the two males interact, a bad feeling started to set in. After a few seconds of Billy fidgeting and Steve shaking his head, Billy pointed his cigarette at the front window. Where Mike, Lucas, Dustin and Max were all watching, " Shit... " I muttered under my breathe. My guess is, Billy asked where Max was, Steve denied knowing and things were now going to go down. Once Billy pushed Steve to the ground, which forced me out of the car. " Billy! " I shouted, but he ignored me, busting into the house. " Y/N... " Steve questioned with a confused look on his face, " You didn't see that did you ". I quickly rolled my eyes while helping him up, then I went after the dumb ass, but before I made it, he slammed the door. That didn't stop me though, I still went in. And I couldn't believe what I was witnessing. Billy had Lucas pushed up against a bookshelf, the walls were covered in thousands of drawings, the house was a mess. " You're dead Sinclair, you're dead " Billy threatened the boy, before Steve stepped in. " No, you are " he stated while swinging a punch at Billy, which only made Billy laugh. I stood there in bewilderment, I couldn't believe what was going on. " Looks like you have some fire in you after all huh. I've been waiting to meet this king Steve everybody's been telling me so much about " Billy stated in a cocky way, Steve glared at him " Get out ". A moment of silence went by, I stared at the two ( Please, Billy ) I thought to myself, I was hoping he was going to make the right decision and just leave. My hopes were quickly blown when Billy threw a punch at Steve, which Steve dodged, punching Billy back a few times. Dustin was cheering on Steve, Max though new he was no match for Billy. After the two of them tussled through the house, Billy grabbed Steve, sending him to the ground. He then climbed on top of Steve, sending him punch after punch. This was a side of Billy I had yet to see, of course it had to be happening to Steve though, the boy who was still very important to me. " He's going to kill him " I whispered loud enough for the four kids to hear me, I didn't know what else to do. He wouldn't have stopped for me, I couldn't do anything to help. Max grabbed a syringe full of something, probably a sensitive. I didn't understand why it was there or what had been going on in this house the last week, so who knows what could've been in that syringe. She marched over to them, slamming the syringe into Billy's neck. That took everyone off guard, including billy. He stood up, the syringe still sticking out of his neck. He took a moment to pull it out, before looking at her. " The hell is this " Billy asked Max, " You little shit, what did you do? ". No one said a word, just watching, until Billy collapsed to the floor. He honestly deserved it, so I wasn't freaking out. Actually I was, I wanted to make sure Steve was okay, but I was to nervous to move. So I stood back with the boys. Once Billy hit the floor, the laughing started from him. Max, who was clearly fed up with his shit, grabbed a bat that had literal nails sticking out of it. " From here on out, you lever me and my friends alone, Do you understand? " she asked holding the bat in swinging position, " Screw you " Billy muttered. Max swung the bat, hitting the floor between his legs. " Said do you understand, say it. Say it!! " she yelled, " I understand " Billy mumbled. " What? " she questioned. " I understand... " and he was out. She dropped the bat before grabbing his car keys, " Let's get out of here " she stated. The four of them glanced at me, " Go ahead, I'll uh, deal with him " I sighed deeply. Max nodded, while Dustin patted me on the back. " Grab some bandages for Steve's face, we'll patch him up in the car " Mike shouted. " You okay " I asked Lucas, he nodded while smiling at me slightly. The four of them got ready, I helped them get Steve into Billy's car. " Please, Please be careful " I stated sternly, earning a nod from each of them.

Once the car was out of the driveway and out of sight, I walked back into the house, slamming the door. Billy groaned, but didn't move much. I glanced around the Byers home, it was so weird. I decided to snoop, because I wanted to know what was happening in this town, since no one wanted to tell me the truth. First, I called Nick to pick us up, then the snooping began. Not only did I look at the pictures covering the wall ( Definitely made by Will ), I went into the refrigerator, looking for some ice for Billy ( Even though he didn't deserve it ). But When I opened it, something fell out, which cause a small gasp from me. What that thing was, was questionable, all I can say is that it was a monster. I walked over to Billy and kicked the bottom of his boot, " Wake up " I sighed loudly. He moved a little, but mostly groaned. " Billy, it's time to go! " I stated a little more forcefully, he opened his eyes slightly " What's happening? ". " We're leaving soon, so let's go " I sighed, " Where are we going? " he then muttered. " Home " I groaned, pulling him into a sitting position. " I blew it huh, ruined any chance I had with you " he groaned while he struggled to keep his eyes open, " I'm not talking about this now, I'm too mad and upset " I stated sternly. He sighed deeply, but then started to look nervous " Please, don't take me home... If I go home like this, I'm dead. Please Y/N, I know you're mad, but please, I can't go home " . I sighed deeply and even though he didn't deserve it, I pitied him. " Fine, you can stay at my house. Nick's going to be here soon and you have to help me, get you outside " I sighed, he nodded as he slowly got to his feet, but was not steady. I put one arm over my shoulder and helped him through the front door, thankfully Nick was pulling up the driveway. I sighed deeply as Nick jumped out of his car and rushed to help me get Billy in the backseat, " What happened? " he questioned. " Alpha bullshit " I groaned slamming the back door, then climbing into the front seat. " Are you okay? " Nick asked with a sigh, I'm fine, just annoyed " I stated honestly. Nick started the car and put it into drive, " Should I drop him at home? " Nick asked with a sigh. I shook my head " No, he's staying at our place tonight ", Nick sent me a look, but because it was dark out, I couldn't see it. " Just trust me " I sighed while looking at the window, " Alright " he stated. The ride back was quiet, other than Billy groaning in the backseat. When we arrived to my house, Nick helped me get Billy into the house and to my room. He was laid out on my bed, I quickly pulled his boots off and threw my blankets over his body. I quickly changed my clothes and then made my way into the living room, laying down on the couch, covering myself with a blanket. I fell asleep in no time, thinking about the kids and Steve, hoping they were safe.

The next morning, Nick nudged me awake around 9 am. " Your guest is up " he stated before walking out the front door, leaving for work. I groaned deeply as I stood up, stretched and walked to my bedroom ( I wish last night had just been a dream ). " Good morning Sunshine " I stated with a glare. He groaned deeply as he stood up and slipped on his shoes, " Breakfast and coffee are in the kitchen " I stated with my arms crossed before leaving the room and walking to the kitchen. Nick had made eggs for us, he probably guessed that I wouldn't be going to school today. Billy made his way into the kitchen, " Do you know where my keys are? " he asked while taking a plate off eggs. I shrugged, I was not about to rat out Max. " Y/N... I think we should talk about last night " he sighed deeply, " No! Billy how you acted last night was unacceptable, you threatened a child, beat the shit out of Steve and that's not okay! Lucas didn't deserve that shit, he is a good kid, they all are, I've babysat all of them. You need to figure out another way to channel your rage, I was afraid last night. For myself and those kids, for Steve... For fucking you Billy. Your gonna end up in jail and I don't know if I want to be associated with someone like that " I spat. He clenched his jaw " Y/N, you have to understand. I only act like that because of how my dad is... I don't wanna lose what we've started to have ", " Well, until you change your ways, I don't wanna hang out anymore. You need to take care of yourself first Billy, I'm sorry " I stated quietly while glancing down. I knew I was doing the right thing, but I was still upset about it. I really liked Billy, but I didn't want to be around him if he was going to be like that. He nodded his head, but looked upset. " Thanks for letting me stay over... I guess I'll see you in school " he sighed sadly, before walking out of my house. I wiped my eyes, tears starting to form. I did all the dishes, then took a long hot shower. Once I finished, I looked at myself in the mirror, wondering how my life had become so dramatic.

The next few days of school, I skipped. I just wasn't ready to leave my house. On Wednesday, I was home alone when the doorbell rang. I groaned deeply, but still answered it. There stood Steve, Nancy, Jonathan, Hopper and Joyce. I let out a deep sigh, inviting them all inside. " So, you here to tell me what's going on finally and why I found a monster in Joyce's refrigerator " I asked with a brow raised and my hands n my hips, they all looked at each other before nodding. Finally after all this time, I was finally going to learn the truth. We all sat around my living room, Hopper explaining everything. He didn't leave out a single detail, the taking of Will Byers, the demogorgon and demo dogs. Barb's death. The mysterious little girl with powers, everything. It left me shocked and speechless,I knew something was going on, but not this. I believed it though. I swore to keep everything a secret, I doubt anyone would believe me anyways. Once everything was said, they all left, Joyce invited me for dinner on Saturday and Nancy gave me a tight hug. Steve however, didn't leave. " I heard what happened with Billy " Steve stated with a sigh, I nodded " Words spread fast ". He smiled at me " Do you ever think that we could try again? ", I shrugged " Maybe, but not anytime soon. Steve I can tell that you still love Nancy and all this information is a lot to take in. I wanna be friends first, then maybe we can see where it goes from there ". He let out a small sigh, but smiled " I'd like that, wanna order pizza and watch chick flicks ", I chuckled " Pizza yes, no chickflicks.... Or alien movies ". He smiled wide " Agree'd ". Who knows where my life was going to take me, maybe somewhere in the future I'd end up with Steve or even Billy, Maybe I'd end up alone. All I know is, I was going to start living for me, no one else.

I know you know, I will never get over you. No matter where I go, I'm always gonna want you back. Want You Back.

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Hey guys, Thank you so much for reading. This is the end of the Main story, but I do have Billy and Steve endings coming soon. I really hope you enjoyed, You're all amazing. Thank You <3<3

#stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fanfic #billy hargrove #billy hargrove fanfiction #billy hargrove fanfic #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington fanfiction #steve harrington #fanfiction #fanfic #story #writing #hope you like it #Thank You #thanks for reading #your amazing

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allsystemsarenotgo · 4 years

Text

A Thought Compilation

Preface: This is going to be a little wordy because I want to relay the whole picture as I have seen it from my point of view. I’m sure there are things in here that subject has not brought up with you yet, for any number of reasons, so be mindful of those as you come across them.

I have boldened the parts that I think define a perceivable turning point in our friendship that may contribute to the current situation.

I have censored Subject and I’s names out of the chat logs (white background). Note that they are in reverse order, so read them from bottom to top. Black background (as below) are also Subject and I.

“Brayden and his mom” – I’m really not sure how or why his mother would have been dragged into this?

I understand she was not stable enough to see me – I didn’t expect her to want to talk Face to Face. I was merely making sure she was doing okay, because I care about her and she was ghosting most of her world.

Welfare checks are never comfortable. I’ve had 3 done on me, including being taken to a hospital.

I did the best that I could for the situation.

Subject and I first met in person at an event her dad and my dad were at. They invited us over to dinner at their RV on July 24, 2020

We messaged daily from that day to Aug 2,2020. Then I gave her some space (trying to not make things awkward) until Aug 16, 2020.

We have messaged daily ever since then.

I went into college for Mechanical Engineering, switched to Computer Science Engineering, and came out as Information Systems (6 years for a B.S. degree). Thus, I have seen a lot of the same material that the subject now studies, and understand how difficult it is.

I’m also High Functioning Autistic and have had depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember (back to 7th grade at least). However, these conditions were unknown/undiagnosed until college – depression and anxiety were identified my freshman year through on-campus counseling, HFA identified my 4th year after a referral to an off-campus counselor/diagnostician (no on-campus staff were familiar with the traits enough to identify it). Thus, I am able to recognize the signs in others, and understand emotions/feelings from their viewpoints.

I am also a very caring, attentive person by nature. I am also a sapiosexual, and my Love Languages are Touch and Quality Time.

I did not have many friends in high school or college. I was very reserved. I did not date in high school at all; I had 2 relationships in college (9 months and 2.5 years). I generally do not count the first because it was my first relationship, it was long distance, we only saw eachother once every 6-8 weeks, and she ended up cheating on me. The second was not very personality based, but heavily intimately based. I have been single since summer 2012. I have tried online dating but have not made it past first date with any given match.

I am also one of those “For Forever” types; I never want to lose a friendship or relationship; I’ll fight for it until there is nothing left to fight with or for.

Going through chat logs, I did find one conversation that has struck me, that maybe she never wanted to be friends with me at all?

When subject and I first met on Aug 24, 2020 I could sense some anxiety in her voice, but once we got to talking electronics, robotics, ect she really lit up and was happy to talk about those subjects.

When subject and I’s friendship was in its infancy, I knew of her boyfriend’s existence and was mindful of it. We kept our conversations to life in general, but mostly academia. However, over time I could sense her mental state starting to deteriorate as semester started. As she started having panic/anxiety attacked, I encouraged her to see on-campus counseling as I had done, since it was “free” and could easily schedule into the class schedule.

After the over-a-week it took to build her confidence to schedule an appointment, I could immediately see the difference her counselor was making in her, in how she talked and what she journaled about.

In the middle of all this, I started asking her how her boyfriend was supporting her psychological state, trying to learn what dynamics were in play in their relationship. Somewhere along the way, she had said that their only real common traits were that they had met at church, were both into Anime/Cartoons and had been together approaching 2 years. On topic, we discussed how her boyfriend was not very supportive to her mental state, that sometimes he tried to be supporting but didn’t really know how to be. October 4th, her lacking self-confidence/body-shaming came up. When I asked about her boyfriend, She denied having a physical relationship, stating that they had a personality-based and faith-based relationship, but he’d seen her in a bikini and didn’t understand why her self-image was negative. I left the topics alone after that, as I didn’t want to get too deep into their relationship details. I did, however, applaud the relationship as she presented it, indicating that I was happy that they were working off of a personality and true-love relationship, rather than one physically/intimacy based. With that said, at this point she had already told me about times when he spent the night at her dorm without anybody else knowing, so I had some doubts about what she said, but I rolled with her word.

Her and I share the same birthday. At her birthday party (at another event both of our dads were at), I could see how bad her anxiety was, so we sat on a golf cart for a least 2 or 3 hours, just talking about various topics. At one point, she said her back was hurting, so I reached over and gave her a brief massage – which brought her great relief – but her family saw it and she caught some weird looks.

I think this is where the dynamic between Subject and I started becoming muddy. Prior to this moment, we were just friends – I had no major interest in what her relationship looked like given her portrayal of it, and I was just a mentor helping her through school with tutoring and coaching, and some life-coaching along the way, too.

Starting at this moment, I think she started realizing that because both of our love languages are Touch and Quality Time, we both better understood the withdrawals that we both had, and that we could fulfill those withdrawals. While I had acknowledged these items, I knew that they were discrete and separate from relationship feelings that she had with her boyfriend. I’m not so sure she was able to build that separation of feelings.

Nothing really changed much between us after that weekend. She spent the following weekend with her boyfriend, but nothing was really out of place in our friendship.

On Nov 18th, subject indicated that her mood and productivity had slumped. When I probed into reasoning, her relationship with her boyfriend came up. That she was feeling really bad withdrawals from him, that she had lied to me previously, that they do have an intimate relationship but she didn’t want me to judge her about it.

I screwed up right about “here”. I think?

We had a not-very-brief discussion that I did not desire to be judgmental about it, but that I cared about and was worried about her as a person. That I wanted to be reassured that she was being responsible, that I didn’t have to worry about her every time they were together. This ended up turning in a moderately uncomfortable-but-necessary discussion (for both of us) which also revealed that she’d never had any formal education in the regard. So, for all intents and purposed, she got “the talk” from me. She was able to identify so many things she was not aware of/did not know. Which was concerning to me, though I didn’t exactly tell her this.

It wasn’t long after this (Nov 20) that she told me that she was having “unscheduled” really bad cramps and discharge. I told her to talk to her on-campus clinician about it (I knew exactly what would happen if she asked her mother) and gave her my thought that I hoped it wasn’t her body rejecting a zygote or embryo, given the timing of her cycle and when she had been with her boyfriend all lined up in the worst way. (That did scare her a little, rightfully and intentionally so).

I think it was maybe at this point that her viewpoint of our friendship became further muddied. That we were close enough to have these kinds of discussions with eachother. To my knowledge, she never discussed any of this context with her boyfriend.

Things were normal after this conversation. I left the topic alone again, acknowledging her relationship isn’t my business. Though, it did bother me that her boyfriend (or mother, for that matter) had not had these kinds of discussions with her, and that she had zero working knowledge of the reproductive system yet was being intimate with her boyfriend. (I didn’t tell her those things specifically bothered me, as I didn’t want to damage her self-confidence).

What I did say, though…

The next discussion was about me coming to see her the weekend of December 4th – which had actually started as her wanting to go see her boyfriend on-base, which I said didn’t seem like a great idea, when she needed study time considering she had finals that Monday. She didn’t really see it from my point of view, she claimed she could study at his room. When she asked her parents about it, they shut her down hard on that idea. Thus, plan B…I would come down, help her study, and give her some time to relax and just be herself.

Things were back to normal at this point. We would talk about school, horses, how she was doing. Nothing seemed unusual or out of place.

A clear turning point. I’ve never really had boundaries of my own, have always been an open book with what few friends I have ever had, and I feel she is the same. So, I don’t think either of us saw the after-problems that would result from the below.

I rearranged my work schedule into four 10’s so that I could spend Friday the 4th with Subject. I had an early morning massage appointment of my own, then got to campus around Noon. We spent 2 or 3 hours going over Physics, until I could tell her brain was completely melted down and exhausted.

So, I suggested that we go to her room, and I would work on relaxing her, getting her mind reset, letting her just let go of some tenseness. I’m not sure which of us decided to have the door closed – her roommate was there, so I know that was a factor. Anyways, I proceeded to give her a full back massage while she was laying on her bed – fully clothed. Nothing outside what I felt comfortable of, and she didn’t voice any concern either. To me, comfort is comfort; If you can get it without invoking intimacy, go for it. I’ve had many friends offer me a quick back massage, and I’ve had others accept my offers before.

She really enjoyed the back massage; she was completely limp and relaxed. I stopped and checked her comfort a few times, she said it felt good, I’d wait to see if she wanted me to continue, or if she was ready to get up. Eventually, such was the case, and she was very clearly relaxed and fundamentally a different person when she got up. She was happier, smiling, bouncy and goofy...energized in a way.

We sat together on her bed, she put some background noise on the TV (I forget what it was), and I gave her my phone to look at my meme collection so that she could get some strong laughs out. At the time, I had around 600 in a folder. Seeing her genuinely laugh and smile was great. Some took her by surprise, and her reactions to those bothered me a little, but overall, she was just relaxed and being herself without having to wear a psychological mask as she does so much.

After that, we went out to dinner…she was able to show and be her genuine self.

An excerpt from my journal entry on that day:

At dinner, they gave us bottled water and a cup of lemons, and in my absence of thought, I managed to make quite the mess with that combination. It was both adorable and amusing watching her inner child come out and play with the water on the table. After dinner, we got on the topic of engineering, and I let her play with an accelerometer app on my phone while I drove us back to her dorm. Watching her play with squiggly lines on the screen for at least 30 minutes was absolutely heartwarming. At dinner, they gave us bottled water and a cup of lemons, and in my absence of thought, I managed to make quite the mess with that combination. It was both adorable and amusing watching her inner child come out and play with the water on the table. After dinner, we got on the topic of engineering, and I let her play with an accelerometer app on my phone while I drove us back to her dorm. Watching her play with squiggly lines on the screen for at least 30 minutes was absolutely heartwarming.

While my response to the above probably wasn’t the most “politically correct”, it was my honest thought.

A few days later, we had a discussion that she brought forth regarding a change of heart about how she felt about things.

I understand how she came to those feelings – and I am glad that she was able to talk to me about them. I feel bad for causing her to feel them, too.

From this point, it was more or less damage control. I wanted her to understand that I did not have “Romantic Feelings” for her, but at the same time, I wasn’t sure what to call what I was feeling. I wanted to just keep things at the friendship level.

Friday, December 11th I invited her over to two of my friends’ house. They host a social group every Friday, and I felt she could use the relaxation and would fit right in. She had a little apprehension but was interested in being around other smart people and maybe learning along the way.

When she showed up and came inside, she stood in a corner of the kitchen for at least a half hour, texting her boyfriend.

I finally stage-hooked her into the conversation and got her and my friend Destiny (hosting wife) to start talking about school/academia. Subject was still on her phone, but at least participating. Once that conversation had dwindled down, my friend Keith (hosting husband) started talking to Subject about electrical engineering and things down that road (Keith, Destiny, and I hold the highest license you can have from the Federal Communication Commission for electrical engineering concepts and Radio Communication). Keith, Subject, and I then went into Keith’s library, where he proceeded to show her every textbook that he has (and still has some memorized form his Master’s degree).

At one point, he pulled one textbook off the shelf, opened it to a random page, and showed it to Subject, asking if she recognized anything. Subject states, “That looks like a {something I don’t remember}”, to which Keith replies, “It is – very good!”

Subject’s eyes went WIDE as she realized she held an independent knowledge and had just correctly recognized some random diagram that had been placed before her.

We spent the rest of the night watching some random Anime that Keith had on the shelf and Subject recognized. She left to go home around 10 PM.

At this point, our communication started tapering off. Once the semester ended, she spent 2 weeks (effectively nonstop) with her boyfriend. During this time, we didn’t talk much, but when we did, I started getting a sense that they didn’t have the healthiest relationship… That every day together was intimacy-centric and watching Anime/Cartoons/Movies was the extent of their time and communication.

I understand that in the current state of the world, it’s hard to go out and “be a couple”, but they could at least go out in nature, go for walks, work out together, cross-teach eachother about the things they enjoy, discuss their passions, their futures, go out to dinner, just do so many things…

When I asked her about how she really felt, she didn’t really answer. And I understand why she felt this way – it wasn’t really my place… but also, why would she not want to share that she was genuinely happy?

Subject had previously mentioned that her parents did not like her boyfriend at all, and I was starting to grow the same opinion.

So I did the stupid thing, and worked my way towards getting their side of the story. The intention was to get Subject to be more open with others, to grow their ability to communicate emotionally, to be more honest with her parents/family/myself.

The way she hid and bottled so much, was taking a toll on herself, primarily through guilt and allowing others (ie, me) to hurt her without vocalizing it or realizing it until it was too late.

What actually ended up happening is that I found out just how badly her parents dislike her boyfriend, want him gone. And the more her mother and I talked, the more she realized that I had all of the qualities they wanted for her…

Which put me in a really bad, awkward quandary. Now, not only was I playing both sides, but suddenly I was the good guy and bad guy at the same time.

I was the good guy because I was trying to promote communication, help Subject sort through her emotions (especially in absence of her on-campus counselor), help her figure out what would repair all the hiding and mistrust between she and her parents, and I had all the qualities her parents wanted her to have in a relationship. But I was also the bad guy because I was playing both sides, causing her emotional pain (both detected and undetected), and not in favor of her boyfriend.

Yet, many times, I told her that I just wanted her happy, that me not being accepting of her boyfriend didn’t mean that I wanted them to break up. In fact, I never once even suggested that they should. Rather, I tried to encourage building their relationship in the ways her parents wanted, so as to try and re-gain some of that trust.

Her parents, on the other hand, vehemently suggested they break up – her mother even suggesting she should date me instead. That, then, made me feel really bad about the condition of the friendship between Subject and I, that we were close enough for a parent to even suggest that.

Her parents invited me over for Dinner on Jan 15th, but we wanted Subject to approve of this given the dynamic situation. Which, she did.

She was really happy and relaxed to see me – I hadn’t seen her so happy and relaxed since after I gave her that massage on the 4th. We went to the stables where she kept her 2 horses, even as cold as it was, she was happy and talking about the horses while we stood there with food buckets in hand. She didn’t seem to have any qualms about the time we were spending together.

Dinner went just as well – I actually laughed at her a little as she was ladeling the soup into her bowl the most difficult way possible – when she saw me do it, she agreed she was doing it the hard way and laughed with me.

Card games after dinner also went well. There were no signs of anything being wrong.

Until she picked up the phone to message her boyfriend. Her mother mentioned her being on the phone, but Subject didn’t respond (I don’t think she cognitively heard). From there, things started going downhill. Subject was paying more attention to her phone than to any of us at the table, and her facial expressions started indicating anguish.

When Subject’s mother went to bed, she told us we could stay up as late as we wanted. Subject and I discussed 4 versus 5 year plan, her stress levels, time management. I gave few a few sitting side-hugs to symbolize that I do care about her, and the last topic was that I re-iterated with her that I just want her heart to be happy. She showed me some of the messages he had sent, calling me a set of nouns and adjectives. She said she understood and thanked me for caring about her. I wanted to stay longer, but her boyfriend was telling her to kick me out of the house.

I really wanted to be upset that she would rather listen to her boyfriend, then spend time with a friend. I was pretty close to breaking down, maybe I should have collapsed in their guest room. Instead, I let her shoo me out. We did have 2 very long hugs. She didn’t let go, not sure if she was being passive or enjoying them. I let go first both times.

As soon as I was in my truck, I collapsed and started crying. I noticed the garage door was still open…she was standing there. As much as she’d hurt me with her actions, I was the better person, and backed out of the driveway so she wouldn’t be standing there freezing. I went around the corner and just parked and cried.

I care about this woman. I may not want to break her current relationship, but I can see parts of it aren’t healthy for her. I may not want a romantic relationship with her, but I can see parts of our friendship aren’t healthy for eachother. But that doesn’t change that I care about her.

This is the last exchange we had before she ghosted me:

“But thank you for answering me. I was worried you got in a wreck or something..”

That was the last thing her boyfriend allowed her to say to me.

After 5 days of ghosting, not even reading messages I sent, not answering her parents. Why wouldn’t I check on her in person? When somebody you care about goes silent, to multiple people, you don’t just ignore that. You check on them.

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theaccidentalstepmom · 4 years

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Breakups suck. I’ve had a few- less than most but more than many. After a breakup my feelings for the other person lie somewhere between heartbroken, totally ready to move on and hoping the other person’s fingers grow fishhooks and that they also develop a strong itch in their genitals. Somewhere in there...

There are those select humans that can somehow remain friends with their exes and genuinely support them. I admire those people and I hope to be one of those people when I grow up. That said it does take two to make that work. But in general I think those people are on a different plane and there probably don’t need to read this blog. Actually no one needs to read this blog... who reads blogs anymore? Let’s be honest this is just a glorified online journal for me to unpack the crazy making in my life. But I digress...

Breakups happen. Wish them fortune or ill but eventually you move on. Right? Sure... assuming you CAN actually make a clean break. Assuming you don’t live/work/go to school together. Assuming you’re not married (because divorcing someone is a undoing a legal contract and that doesn’t happen in a vacuum). Also assuming there’s not a child involved because then that person that you’d much happier never having to see again EVER is someone you are forced to continue interacting with for the next 18 (minus your youngest child’s age) years longer.

We have a triple threat and that’s where our story begins...

This isn’t our love story (or is it?). Well okay... a quick background. It’s 1995, Wilson high school, Portland Oregon: I’m a Senior he’s a Junior. We didn’t date but we both liked one another- but I had a boyfriend and having a crush on two boys was too much for me to handle!! I graduated, went to college, loved my life. No idea what happened to him. 12 years later years and I’d just moved to SF and who do I see on the bus? What?? Still cute, he just moved to SF from DC after a few years living in Iowa... with his wife. He’s married. Of course he is. Cool let’s be Facebook friends and I’ll see you never. Berceuse WTF would I say if I ever met your wife? “Nice to meet you I had a big crush on your husband in high school”. That’s just awkward.

But we did exchange numbers. He was a chef and I was a waitress so when he got a new job he might text me and tell me to stop by (I never did) or if we needed a new line cook I’d reach out to him (he never replied). At some point on Facebook I saw that they had a kid. Cute little thing with a buttload of hair.

Fast forward 2.5 years. It’s Valentine’s Day and I’m showing a couple friends who aregg bet single how Tinder works: “Oh no... he’s no good. See you just swipe left- hard left!”. He was like the 3rd guy that pulled up. We chatted back and forth through the app a couple times then I just texted him because I had his number and I’m paranoid about conversations through apps. (I just imagine people who work for Tinder reading them and laughing their asses off at my attempts to play it cool.) Anyways, a week later we went on our first date and it was pretty much game over for me.

He was 8 months out of a 10 year relationship and had a toddler why am I not running the other direction? That’s a great question and I have no good answer. Or at least not a sexy one... I’m attracted to vulnerable men? They’re like my catnip: “Come here kitty- Mama like”!

His son was 2.5 when we started dating. I knew I was dating a man with a child and I knew exactly what that meant. I babysat A LOT and I was a nanny for 5 years. It’s not the same thing as being a parent by any means. But compared to an average childless woman I did have a better understanding of what I was getting into and what spending hours with a toddler was like. I knew that if we were going to be in a relationship the kid comes first, I’m replaceable the child is not.

His ex was trying to move to Hawaii to live with her new boyfriend and wanted to take their son. That’s a hard no. Absolutely not. R had already filed for divorce but that got sidelined by custody. She hired a more aggressive attorney and insisted she would be taking their son. When describing his ex and her behavior R was throwing around with like crazy and narcissist and borderline.

Okay, okay... this situation is really stressful. I’m sure she’s not that bad- you married her right? Stress does not bring out the best in people’s personalities- quite the opposite. It’s hard to think straight. This is probably situational- I’m sure she’ll calm down soon. Maybe try phrasing your text this way so she doesn’t get defensive- I’m sure she’ll be reasonable if you just explain it really clearly...

Bahahaha.

I spent months empathizing with her and trying to help R better communicate with her. All in vain- it toa long time to realize she doesn’t want to communicate or compromise she just wants her way. And any attempt to have an open honest discussion is just ammunition for her to use against you in a future conversation.

If she asks R for a favor and his answer is no she’ll twist the conversation into her being victimized.

If she asks R for a favor and his answer is yes she’ll twist the situation and say that she actually did him a favor.

If R asks her for a favor she ignores him, calls him names and/or tells R he’s harassing her.

To be clear, most of the time she doesn’t ASK- she demands.

If R agrees to something once he has to agree in the future it or he’s a hypocrit.

She flat out remembers things wrong and when R shows her the screenshots of the text she wrote proving she’s m wrong she says he’s being petty.

When R asks her to discuss child related issues directly with him rather than asking their 4 year old son to communicate the message to him she tells R he’s being difficult.

When it’s her custodial time and R has a scheduled FT she bribed their son with candy or ice cream to end the call early. (He can have it after he’s done).

I feel like we’re in an alternate reality. She’s constantly coming after R legally with baseless claims. She projects all the shit she does to R and accuses him of doing it to her!! We read her motions and were like “What’s is she talking about? R didn’t do that to her she’s doing that to R!”. And no is not a misinterpretation and they’re both doing it- she’s doing it and accusing him of doing it. It’s crazy making.

Claim: R refuses to communicate with her and insists on going through attorneys.

False. She has ZERO emails or texts to back this up- they agreed to communicate via text and email. She hasn’t sent a single email or text to R to “discuss” anything so how is he refusing to communicate? R has written numerous long and detailed emails to her for years and even more over the past 10 months of Covid trying to communicate and co-parent with her, share information and get schedules finalized without the courts involvement and her responses are dismissive and often only one sentence. His attorney and her attorney even tried to resolve issues without the court but she refused to comply and court was the last resort.

Claim: wasn’t even a claim really, mores demand that both parents needing to be flexible about scheduled FaceTimes in their child is swimming or playing during that time and also be accommodating if the other parent wants to do an unscheduled call they can.

Reality: Totally... R has never denied her a FT, has been flexible when she’s asked to reschedule and he’s sent MULTIPLE emails to her saying she can do an unscheduled FT anytime she wants (just give him a heads up). She’s done maybe 4 unscheduled FaceTimes in 2 years. We don’t plan any activities during her scheduled call time because it’s her scheduled time... so her calls don’t ever “interrupt” anything. Please, I beg you, show any evidence to the contrary.

Oh and while she’s looking for evidence that doesn’t exist I’d like to show the email she just sent from December 2020 telling R that when their son was with her during Christmas he was ONLY allowed to FaceTime during his scheduled time of 6:40-8. No “bullshit” unscheduled FaceTimes calls like he did last summer when he called their son “every day” it was “harassment”.

(Calling every day would have been excessive, but not harassment. But he didn’t call every day. He had 2 scheduled FaceTimes per week by court order and in addition he called 1 extra day a week (so three calls a week). Also, important to point out is that their son, who primarily lives with his father, was going to not see his father for three months because of conflicting language in the ruling and delays in getting it clarified due to COVID and Jennie’s refusal to discuss shortening the time to what they’d agreed to.

He always texted her before his scheduled FaceTime to confirm the time would work and it wouldn’t conflict with activities they’d planned. But even though it was a scheduled call it always seemed to interrupt something fun that their son was doing: swimming, hiking, skateboarding. Funny how when she asked him to push back his call 2 hours he STILL was interrupting fun plans. It’s his SCHEDUKED time- plan your shit on a different day OR if you can’t contact R ahead of time to reschedule the FaceTime so it doesn’t conflict or interrupt your plans.

As for unscheduled FaceTimes he’d text in the morning asking to do a FaceTime in the afternoon (so giving her at least 3 or 4 hours notice so she can pick a time that works for her). She wouldn’t reply, instead he’d just immediately get a FaceTime call. To her credit she doesn’t refuse the calls and conveniently their son is often immediately available.

But it’s funny how if she knows R’s gonna call she seem to have plans, but when she doesn’t know he’s going to call she’s just sitting around the house doing jack shit.

She is bananas.

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fyhyungwon · 7 years

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#hyungwon #ot7 #monsta x #170824 #t: interview

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forljh · 7 years

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[Article] From survival show rookies to K-Pop stars

Talking to the seven-member group, who rose from participants on survival show NO.MERCY to become rising stars in South Korea’s music scene

Paris. Summer, 2017.

It should be a gorgeous mid-August day but the rain is apocalyptic, drenching the hundreds upon hundreds of people queuing outside one of the city’s most celebrated music halls. They’re here for the first ever European shows by Monsta X, the seven-member South Korean group whose mix of pop, hip hop, and heavy EDM combined with dark, tough, and sometimes cabalistic concepts has seen them gain a fiercely dedicated global following.

When the lights do go down, the screams are piercing and reverential. Monsta X’s show is broken into group and unit performances (where members do something special, from a spin on the decks to covering popular Western songs) and every gesture, word, and ad-lib will wind the audience higher until the room virtually pulses.

Backstage, however, things are much calmer. Vocalists Wonho, Kihyun, Hyungwon, Shownu, and Minhyuk, and rappers Jooheon and I.M, emit a serene, friendly professionalism. They’re wearing their stage costumes: Kihyun, the main vocalist, sports a sizable and sparkling Chanel logo brooch, while Monsta X’s leader, Shownu, has a thick band of sequins around a sleeve that throws light right into your eyes. Their entire effect is dazzling and distracting – all seven in tight trousers and jackets laden with diamante chains and epaulettes, beautiful faces smooth with makeup – and it will send their fandom, known as Monbebe, wild over the next two hours.

While fans will commit their favourite moments of the night to forums or YouTube, Kihyun can’t pick just one standout memory from the tour, which began in June. “Rather than just one particular moment, it’s just whole moments of time,” he explains. “Even when we perform in front of people who speak different languages, that all members enjoy the concert together gives me goosebumps.” Shownu, however, pinpoints his as “at the end of the songs like ‘넌 어때’ (‘I’ll Be There’), Monbebes prepare something special, like placards, so we’re always surprised.”

“We’re having fun every day,” says Minhyuk, as I.M adds, “We spend most of our free time sightseeing and eating. We’re always walking around, taking pictures.” Jooheon nods in agreement: “It gives us inspiration.”

Monsta X, who debuted in May 2015, were born from NO.MERCY, a survival show created by their label Starship Entertainment. In the show, existing male trainees vied against each other to debut in a new boy group. NO.MERCY initially shocked its audience when I.M, a total newcomer, was added to the mix late and ended up controversially being chosen for the group, knocking out fan favourite #GUN. It was a contentious start to idol life, but the competitive tension fast become an enviable camaraderie, complete with family-esque banter and bickering which, alongside Monsta X’s underrated, slow burn success, helped earn the unwavering loyalty of the Monbebes.

Like most artists, both Monsta X’s music and their members contain notable contradictions. Their singles frame them as one of K-Pop’s more intimidating groups – the cinematic strings on “Fighter”, the graceful choruses and tight raps on “All In” and “Beautiful”, and “Hero”s crunching EDM and its sibling, the passionate, infatuated “Stuck” – but, as Kihyun says, “even if we look a certain way on the outside, it’s just an image. For example, Jooheon might look chill and tough, but inside he’s quite sensitive.”

This contrast was recently presented to the casual listener with the fizzy “Newton”, their first aegyo-heavy (cute behavior) official MV (music video), but a recent interview points to grittier songs as their personal favorites, creating a lot of guesswork as to their next concept. Wonho, who habitually scratches at his palms idly while other members speak, snaps to attention and smiles. “Actually we’re working towards the next album, but we haven’t fixed a particular concept just yet. So when we know we’ll call you directly... if you want.”

“Even if we look a certain way on the outside, it’s just an image” – Kihyun, Monsta X

Their sensitive side has never been concealed, but you need to delve into their albums for it, seen on likes of the mid-tempo soul of “Amen” and “Need U” or the extraordinary, piano-lead “Broken Heart”. Or invest in their reality shows Deokspatch X, Right Now!, and newer series X-Ray (“You saw that?” Kihyun asks in English, surprised – and you can just catch his slight lisp), where their off-stage personalities veer like go-karts through sassy, embarrassing, risible, protective and tender.

Of course, far more lies beyond those facets. “I’m actually writing songs most days, particularly at the hotel between concerts,” Wonho divulges. Notorious for removing his shirt on every stage, he’s the incorrigible flirt, the sweet, muscular show-off – but has, alongside Jooheon and I.M, become far more involved with the group’s output and devoted himself to honing his craft. One of his compositions, the bittersweet lyrics and upbeat trop-house of “From Zero” is a fixture on the set-list, a duet he performs with Hyungwon. Despite calls from fans to commit “From Zero” to tape, it’s still only for the stage, though Wonho isn’t entirely discounting the idea. “That’s something we need to discuss further as the song was originally developed without a plan for release,” he muses. “So we’ll think about it.”

One of the most compelling inter-band unit performances on this tour is 2Chain (Kihyun and Jooheon), who, after releasing a striking cover of R&B singer Crush’s “You & I” earlier this year, cover Lil Wayne’s “Mirror”. Jooheon has written his own verses for it, brutally self-judgmental yet ultimately empowering words he uses in a volatile performance that emotionally knocks you from your seat. “It was Kihyun who suggested ‘Mirror’, and I liked the song as well,” he explains candidly, sat beside the singer who reassuringly taps on Jooheon’s knee throughout.

“People don’t always say complimentary stuff to themselves, and I thought about what I was missing, where I wasn’t good enough – like, trying to see the whole picture,” Jooheon adds in Korean. “I realised it was my fans who were most important in my life, so I tried to match myself with them, seeing the fans from my perspective and seeing myself from the fans’ perspective. I guess I tried to put a lot of things into those lyrics…” He trails into silence – although known as one of Monsta X’s big on-stage personalities, today he’s quiet and watchful, and Wonho breaks the sudden lull. “Wow, that’s going to be really hard to translate,” he blurts, making the others laugh.

“I don’t particularly think about if we’ve had to work at becoming friends, which I guess means it hasn’t been difficult” – Minhyuk, Monsta X

Besides Monsta X, the members have their own projects – mixtapes (Jooheon, I.M), photography (Kihyun) and illustration (Minhyuk). I.M’s introspective 2016 track “Who Am I” was the pertinent musings of a young idol, asking “am I born for me or born for success?” Despite a year speckled in career milestones, answers remain unfound. “I think I’m still looking,” he replies in English, which he undoubtedly picked up from a childhood spent in Israel and the US. He’s the maknae (youngest) at 21 years old but possesses a disconcerting directness and a wry intensity. “Asking myself questions like that makes me grow up and be stronger,” he says, leaning in, elbows resting on his knees.

The group’s meme king, Hyungwon, isn’t a big talker in interviews but a joy for fans with his droll humor and expressions, which consistently go viral. Under the moniker DJ H.One, he’s been DJing on the tour and appearing at dance festivals like Ultra Korea “to show new things about myself. I’ve been practicing for about eight months in my own time.” His preference is for crowd-pleasing EDM; he throws a sliced and diced version of Monsta X’s single “Beautiful” into his sets, and as Hyungwon adds, “there’s a song called ‘Bang Bang Bang’, it has Jooheon rapping over it. I think the reaction (from the crowd) is so much better when we’re together.”

Unexpectedly, it’s Shownu who has impressed the public through the dance show Hit The Stage and beauty show Lipstick Prince, where male idols are taught the art of makeup. Formerly awkward enough around people to have earned the nickname ‘Robot Shownu’, he’s blossoming. “Lipstick Prince really helped me a lot to become confident around other singers and be able to get to know them, and Hit The Stage helped the way I perform,” he admits. “It’s definitely good for us to be working solo, but we never forget it’s Monsta X that makes solo activities possible. Also we have more fun together than alone.”

Together they’ve certainly achieved impressive goals – from winning last year’s Male Dance Performance at the Seoul Awards to topping the Billboard World Chart with their recent album, The Clan Pt. 2.5 Guilty. “We haven’t really thought about awards,” Minhyuk says of potential future wins. He’s interrupted. “A Grammy!” demands I.M, laughing, then apologising. “But rather than awards, we want to be a group the next generation can look to, like ‘I want to be like Monsta X’,” Minhyuk continues.

“We’re a family... We shine brighter when we’re together” – Shownu, Monsta X

Monsta X might well inspire others. After all, their dynamic – even in the unnatural confines of an interview – is one of warmth, acceptance, and familiarity. It’s in the little looks they shoot each other, the nudges of support, and Minhyuk, with his sunny smile and a speaking voice that cracks a little on the edges, embodies all that, creating an easy atmosphere that relaxes his bandmates.

“I don’t particularly think about if we’ve had to work at becoming friends, which I guess means it hasn’t been difficult,” Minhyuk muses. K-Pop fans often question if the appearance of closeness in idol groups is strictly for business or if they’ve truly bonded. “Well, y’know, I am a businessman,” he says slyly, making Wonho snort with laughter. “Just kidding! I think it’s been just a naturally flowing relationship.”

That there might be a member who remains hard to read sparks a debate. Kihyun tilts his head, squinting at the ceiling. “Even difficult members are so easy to read. I don’t know…” he says, half to himself.

“No, no!” says Minhyuk, with glint in his eye. “I have one. I.M. He’s our youngest so he seems to easy to read, but sometimes he’s really not. It’s like he has his own world.”

“I think he just has no thoughts during those times,” Shownu offers.

I.M’s world would be..? “Maybe Mars?” he replies, straight-faced. “But anyway, we don’t get angry, we’re always happy,” he quips, to explosions of disbelief around him.

There’s just enough time to look back at their career thus far and define, beyond the music, what’s set them apart to succeed. In a rather endearing way to end things, what Shownu says is mistranslated into “I think the difference is we have quite great bodies…” Kihyun laughs so hard he rolls into Jooheon’s lap as Minhyuk protests loudly – “Great bodies? Great shapes, great shapes!” he re-translates as Hyungwon and Shownu look startled, and I.M, Jooheon and Wonho wear the smiles of those who can no longer be embarrassed by much at all.

Shownu patiently starts again. “Firstly, all of us have great shapes, and we’re very dynamic…” He pauses. “I’ve never used the word ‘dynamic’ (‘역동적인’) before,” he says hesitantly, a leader who tends to let his group do most of the talking, “...and we’re powerful on stage. We’re a family. We’ve known each other for a long time and we shine brighter when we’re together.”

Article by Dazed

#monsta x #170823 #t:interview

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