#we want someone to love us truly and deeply and genuinely!

[chirpsythismorning]

Some of the evidence supporting Mike not being in love with El is brutal. No, but seriously.

In s3, when El's leg is injured, instead of Mike putting his arm around her waist, allowing him to take some of the weight off her injured leg, he puts his arm around her shoulder, basically having the exact opposite affect of taking the weight off of her, instead just adding more weight for her to have to carry.

Now, I’m not coming at Mike here, I’m actually coming at the writers, because this choice here has everything to do with them using this gesture to signal Mike’s lack of feelings for El, even at the expense of realism.

I say this bc any person with common sense, including Finn and everyone around him and Millie filming these shots, would've known it looked unnatural for Mike to be adding more weight onto El as opposed to taking some off of her.

This means that what Mike did here, Finn was directed to do, and therefore it was for a specific reason.

And we know they could have easily made the opposite choice, because they show us Max AND Lucas doing it.

See how putting an arm around El's waist looks so much more natural? Because homegirl is injured and clearly needs help taking weight off her leg to qualm some of the pain she's experiencing there, which is why Max and Lucas are shown here doing it the correct way.

And so, why can't Mike do the same? Why are the writers making a point to show Mike being incapable of simply taking some weight off of El, instead doing the exact opposite?

I don't think it's as deep as Mike not being able to do something intimate, and that's bc, again we see Max and Lucas doing it.

I honestly think what they're trying to convey with this choice here, is that Mike thinks he's helping El, when he is in fact doing the opposite despite his best efforts. The implications of that and how that sort of aligns with their romantic relationship and what it leads to at the end of s3, going into s4, is pretty spot on.

I do think Mike thinks he's doing the right thing by being with El instead of voicing any doubts at the end of s3, because he is under the assumption that she is in love with him. I do think he believes he is indebted to her and that this is the least he can do after everything they've been through together, which has mostly been riddled with romantic pressures and so continuing that instead of disputing it seems like the only option anyways. Not to mention, he does care for her deeply, so it's not hard to imagine that he's a teenage boy confusing deep care for love (he literally tells us this is his problem when he can only say care and not love to El's face... but that's a whole other conversation).

Still, when it's all said and done, Mike's not actually doing El any favors by being with her romantically, if that is not what he truly wants.

Because that's the sad truth about all of this, which is that you would never want someone to be with you just because you want them. If you knew that they truly couldn't have those feelings for you, you'd want to know, right? You don't deserve someone just because you have deep feelings for them. And I think there's so many layers to this idea, bc many people are capable of not giving Byler a chance bc they truly believe Mike could never return Will's feelings. Will also feels this way atp, so though it hurts, he rips the band aid off, because he would never want Mike to be with him just out of pity or something. No one would want that. And so it all really comes down to who Mike truly loves romantically and wants to be with. And the right thing to do, even if it hurts someone, is to be honest, because being with them just bc you think that will make them happy is never going to be enough if you aren't truly feeling it, or worse, feel it for someone else.

We see how Mike's inability to be honest with El at the end of s3, leads to a season of Mike feeling deeply insecure and undeserving of the love El has to offer him, and even though he does try, he always comes up short. Despite Mike putting up this front that they are the perfect couple, the details are telling us something is off. And it gives him away.

Another example that I think is very similar to this loaded gesture from Mike to El in s3, is the scene in s4 when they hug in the airport.

Common sense ppl, picture this: You're reuniting with your long distance girlfriend. Then suddenly, she runs up to you, with her arms wide open, and instead of opening your arms wide to embrace her properly, you take the bouquet of flowers you brought her as a gift, and shove them against your chest just as she approaches to hug you, effectively squishing the present you got for her (a pretty delicate present at that) for no reason other than to... what exactly?

Like?? El isn't even squishing the present Mike, she's trying to hug you, dude! Your gf is trying to hug you properly and you threw the gift you got for her in between you so you could throw in a careful! x3??

Again, this has less to do with Mike's thoughts and reasoning behind this gesture in a literal sense, and more to do with the simple fact that this is a narrative choice! Mike is not a real person! There are real people sitting down and writing this and actors are having to do multiple takes to act it out. What feels natural for a situation is going to be what is often chosen 9 times out of 10, because of realism and wanting the audience to see stuff happening that is believable. That 1 time though, when it's not being done the way it would usually be, is usually because there's a specific reason for it.!

So the question really is, not why is Mike doing this, but why are the writers having Mike do this, and what message are they trying to convey about Mike's feelings based on his behavior, in these moments where he's just not capable of committing to El genuinely, one way or another?

[sarahreesbrennan]

Are all the themes in “in other lands” supposed to be a commentary on something? Or do you just like writing sex scenes between minors, age gaps, and reverse misogyny?

Genuine question.

Ohhh, my dear anon, I don't believe this is a genuine question.

But it does bring up something I've been meaning to talk about. So I'll take the bait.

Firstly. Yes, my work contains a commentary on the world around us. I wonder what I could be doing with the child soldiers being sexually active in their teens (people hook up right after battles), and the age gap relationship ending in the younger one being too mature for the elder. What could I possibly have been attempting when I said 'how absurd gender roles are, when projected onto people we haven't been accustomed by our own society to see that way'? I wasn't being subtle, that's for sure.

Secondly. Yes I do enjoy writing! I think I should, it's my life's work. Am I titillated by my own writing, no - though I think it's fine to be. The sex scenes of In Other Lands aren't especially titillating, to be honest. It is interesting to me how often people sneer at women for writing romance and sex scenes, having 'book boyfriends,' insinuating women writers fancy their own characters. Women having too much immoral fun! Whereas men clearly write about sex for high literary purposes.

… I have to say from my experience of women and men's writing, I haven't found that to be true.

I’m not in this to have an internet argument. I prefer to leave my anons open since not everyone has a tumblr, as @neil-gaiman says it’s an internet backwater, but a lovely one for those like myself who enjoy an essay about fictional characters! Still I will close my inbox to anons if I must. Mostly people use bad faith takes to poke at others from the other side of a screen for kicks. But I do know some truly internalise the attitude that writing certain things is wrong, that anyone who makes mistakes must be shunned as impure, and that is a deeply Victorian and restrictive attitude that guarantees unhappiness.

I've become increasingly troubled by the very binary and extreme ways of thinking I see arising on the internet. They come naturally from people being in echo chambers, becoming hostile to differing opinions, and the age-old conundrum of wanting to be good, fearing you aren't, and making the futile effort to be free of sin. It makes me think of Tennyson, who when travelling through Ireland at the time of the Great Famine, said nobody should talk about the 'Irish distress' to him and insisted the window shades of his carriage be shut as he went from castle to castle. So he wouldn't see the bodies. But that didn't make the bodies cease to be.

In Les Mis, Victor Hugo explores why someone might steal, what that means about them and their circumstances, and who they might be - and explores why someone else is made terribly unhappy, and endangers others, through their own too rigid adherence to judgement and condemnation without pity. The story understands both Jean Valjean the thief and Javert the policeman. Javert’s way of thinking is the one that inevitably leads to tragedy.

Depiction isn't endorsement. Depiction is discussion.

Many of my loved ones have had widely varying relationships to and experience of sex (including 'none'). They've felt all different types of ways about it. If writing about them is not permissible, I close them out. I'd much rather a dialogue be open than closed.

I do understand the urge to write what seems right to others. I've been brain-poisoned that way myself. I used to worry so much about my female characters doing the wrong things, because then they'd be justly hated! Then I noted which of my writer friends had people love their female characters the most - and it was the one who wrote their female characters as screwing up massively, making rash and sometimes wrong decisions. Who wrote them as people. Because that's what people do. That's what feels true to readers.

I want my characters to feel true to readers. I want my characters to react in messy ways to imperfect situations. I love fantasy, I love wild action and I love deep thought, and I want to engage. That's what In Other Lands is about. That's even more what Long Live Evil is about. That sexy lady who sashays in to have sexy sex with the hero - what is her deal? Someone who tricks and lies to others - why are they doing that, how did they get so skilled at it? What makes one person cruelly judgemental, and another ignore all boundaries? What makes Carmen Maria Machado describe ‘fictional queer villains’ as ‘by far the most interesting characters’? What irritates people about women having a great time? What attracts us to power, to fiction, and to transgression?

I don’t know the answers to all those questions, but I know I want to explore them. And I know one more thing.

If the moral thing to do is shut people out and shut people up? Count me among the villains.

[lasnevadaslaborunion]

I've been drifting away from both Tumblr and MCYT for a while now. This was the nail in the coffin.

I have another blog for art, and a third for other fandoms, but I doubt I will use either as often as I used LNLU. There's never been a community I've connected with quite so deeply as this one. Your creativity, passion, and kindness carried me through awful times far more than any individual creator could. It was not all rainbows and unicorns. It ripped open some old wounds, and left some new ones as well. But I want to carry forward the good things. I'm in touch with most of my friends on other platforms. If I've missed you, feel free to message and ask for my Discord.

A few final words, though.

We can never fully know what these creators are like when they're off-screen. What we see is a carefully curated picture of who they are, with flaws either scrubbed away or humorously exaggerated to the point of dismissal. Being aware of this does not mean assuming the worst. It means being realistic. When the people who truly know them become vulnerable by sharing the truth, believe them.

Be cautious of stereotypes. Anyone can be a victim or a perpetrator. If abusers could all be easily recognized at a cursory glance, if the signs were only a simple checklist of traits and deeds, if they were all so obviously monstrous that only a fool could have ever admired them - then far fewer of these people would get away with doing what they do.

They might be charming, attractive, thoughtful, intelligent, or funny.

They might only commit "minor" abuses, the kind that by themselves seem not to count but when taken together will wear you down.

They might blame you for what they do, claiming that you gave them no choice, or using your own symptoms and mistakes against you.

They might not realize that their behavior is abusive, or they might attribute it to other issues they may deal with.

They might apologize profusely and promise to be the sweetest person in the world for you, never to genuinely change.

They might degrade themselves, saying it's "just the type of person they are," and expect you - the one they hurt - to relieve them of their guilt.

They might be victims of something or someone else, too. They might truly be suffering.

But none of that makes your suffering acceptable.

If someone belittles, insults, pressures, screams at, willfully crosses boundaries, lies to, guilt-trips, or mentally, physically, or sexually harms you or someone you care about, there is never any obligation to accept that treatment. No matter what real or imagined position over you they might have, no matter what's going on in their life or in their brain, no one has the right to abuse their power like that. They are wrong.

Anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong, too.

And to other survivors of abuse: it wasn't your fault, you deserve better, you are stronger than you know, your worth never depended on them, and you will heal with time.

Goodbye from LNLU. I love you all.

[the-modern-typewriter]

Do you have any advice on writing a truly scary villain?? How do I make them genuinely terrifying but also still realistically human y’know?

The short answer is 'be specific', think about all the ways that humans can be scary, and show how the villain is scary/human by the story stakes/other character's reactions to them.

The longer, more rambling, answer is...

Whenever I think about villains, and a lot of the study that goes into villains/monsters, I think about the idea of either the Self or the Other.

Villain as Self:

The self is the us, in 'us vs them'. It is what we recognise within ourselves when we look at and explore villains.

This often comes with a realistically human motivation. For example, it could be that the villain is motivated by greed, recognition or desire for power or control (flaws that many of us have) or fear, desire to protect ourselves/our loved ones (good qualities that many of us have that become warped) and all these motivations ultimately lead the villain to do awful thing. We don't think we'd do the bad thing ourselves, but there is an uneasy terror in recognising that actually we might.

Alternatively, it is the villain who is well-respected and loved. The person we trust. The person we feel safe with. Except, we're not safe. And we can't tell, because we think they're just like us, and in many ways they are, and that's horrifying.

This kind of villain is always the dark side of our own society, our own assumptions and ideologies and belief systems. They are very popular at the moment.

We as a people are deeply uneasy with our own monstrosity.

Villain as Other

The 'other' is the 'them'. It's the fear that many of us still have with what is different to us, or what we don't understand or know.

This is the villain that is the random stranger, not secretly your best friend. It's, historically speaking looking at literary canon, the cannibal savages in different cultures. It's aliens. It's monsters where the scary thing is that they have no humanity, nothing we can reason with, a morality that is completely different to ours etc.

We as a people are still deeply uneasy about what we don't understand, even if many of us are trying to be better about it.

Some villains are a mixture of the two, but broadly speaking, you're considering the Villain as Self vibe of villain. I mention both because I find it interesting, and because our ideas of otherness are so often tied with our ideas of monstrosity that I can't not!

Scary nowadays often looks very much like someone persecuting what is considered 'other' or 'different'.

What is actually scary?

The first part of writing a genuinely scary villain is tapping into something that is genuinely scary.

While the vague can work, when it comes to villains that are realistically human, specificity is your friend. We understand these people, or at the very least we know and recognise them. And it's not a broad threat of 'end of the world' that tends to scare us most, it's much more personal.

We don't want to get hurt. We don't want to lose someone we love. We are scared when we realise we completely misjudged a person we trusted. We are scared when we see someone do something terrible and have a gut lurching feeling that, in their circumstances, we might do the same thing because we absolutely recognise the feeling and the motivation. We are scared when we see villains who persecute people just like us, because we know there's an uncomfortable sliver of truth to it.

Story stakes

All the above bit is all to do with your character understanding and construction. The internal bit. The premise of your character.

Story stakes is external and how you apply your character in your story. In short - if there is clearly no chance of your villain ever winning, and nothing bad ever happens and you just tell people that they are scary, the reader has no reason to believe you.

Have other characters react in terror to your villain. Have the villain's actions and goals have consequences in the story. They must be a genuine threat within the story world, even if they lose in the end. I hope this helps!

[percheduphere]

LET’S TALK ABOUT EXPLORING LOKI & MOBIUS THROUGH THE LENS OF QUEER EXPERIENCE

Thank you for this request, @nabananab 

Before I dig into this juicy ask, I think it’s important to note (however obvious the fact maybe) that an individual’s unique engagement with art is an inherent and integral part of art. The intention of the artist and the sociopolitical influence of culture, while important in our interpretation of a work, are not the sole source of drawing the work’s meaning. We are all artists in one form or another. I consider myself one of the pen, and nothing is more important to me than art giving someone a sense of emotional connection. I should hope other artists would agree, and for this reason I am an ardent believer in art taking on a life of its own once it has been created. The creator’s word, while it matters to some degree, does not supersede an individual’s relationship with the creation. Our histories, our desires, our fears, our likes, our dislikes, indeed our infiniteness as fragile human beings, allow us to create an elevated, spiritual interpretation beyond the confines of original intent. With art, there is no such thing as “reaching” or “reading too deeply”. 

I leave this message with all of you as we look at these beloved characters through the lens of queer experience. 

LOKI 

Culture influences what we see and hear, which in turn influences artistic portrayal. Setting aside Norse myth, Marvel’s Loki is a classic example of a queer-coded villain (later canonized as a queer antihero). Deception, daggers, sexual temptation, transformation, and magic are all culturally tied to the “immoral” facets of femininity. Just as a strong, independent woman untethered to the control of man is deemed a “wicked woman”, a man demonstrating gender ambiguity and like qualities is similarly judged. Only masculinity is viewed as pure and good, and this no doubt was—and continues to be—a key force in white, western colonization’s destructiveness. It all but crushed our rich global history of divine femininity, gender diversity, and romantic and sexual expression. 

Asgard, as Marvel portrays it, is without a doubt a masculine-dominant warrior society. Only two women feature prominently: Queen Frigga and Lady Sif. Whereas Sif embraces her masculine qualities and fits in easily with Thor and the Warriors Three, Queen Frigga embraces her feminine powers, though her authority is submissive to the All-Father, Odin. Her influence is most heavily seen in her adopted son, Loki, with whom she shared and taught magic in hopes that Loki might “feel some sun on himself” despite the “long shadows [Thor] and [Odin]” cast. The magic that Frigga gifts Loki, however, attracts scorn. The subtext here is that Loki’s specialness, his individuality, comes from feminine powers despite presenting as a man, and a gender ambiguous one at that. Unlike Thor and Odin, he is not masculine. While strong, he does not exhibit Thor’s brute strength. He is cautious, thoughtful, another feminine quality, whereas Thor’s courageousness often veers toward foolhardy and brash.  

Thus, if Loki cannot be loved and accepted as he is (a queer person of another race), he will force love and acceptance through the power of the throne. Kings oft inspire fear, coercing subjects to love them whether they wish to or not. But we know Loki never truly wanted the throne. The throne is a mere distraction from, perhaps even a poor replacement for, what he truly wants: genuine love and acceptance that cannot be bought. Unfortunately, Loki believes he will never get these things, which is why, when Mobius questions him, Loki’s desire for control (Loki, King of the Midgard; Loki, King of the Nine Realms; Loki, King of Space) can never be satiated. Mobius challenges Loki for the exact purpose of revealing this to him. What do you really want? At this point, Loki does not have the words to form an answer. In S2E5, Syvlie raises the question Mobius originally asked in S1E1. It is then, after experiencing Mobius’s friendship and the other relationships that come to being as a result (including Sylvie’s), that Loki can articulate his answer. 

Loki’s othering, even before the discovery of his true identity as a Jotun (an allegory for a villainized foreign race), creates a lonely environment in which Loki’s potential for goodness is quashed by centuries of resentment, bitterness, and jealousy. His attempts at masculinity take the form of violence, all of which are, as Loki admits in S1E1, “part of the illusion; the cruel elaborate trick conjured by the weak to inspire fear.”  

Loneliness and the desire for love and acceptance are a universal human experience, but they are felt far more acutely within our intersectional queer communities. 

MOBIUS 

His fascination with Loki is compelling because there are many things we can infer about its reasons. The first, most obvious explanation is Mobius’s “soft spot for broken things”, which is in some ways tied to his qualities as a compassionate, forgiving, and supportive father. A secondary explanation is a wish for partnership. We know from S1 that Mobius’s friendship with Ravonna spanned eons. We later learn in S2E6 that he and Ravonna started out as peers, hunters. They were partners on the field, but where Mobius “failed” because of his humanity, Ravonna “advanced” because of her ruthlessness. This change in relational dynamics left him partner-less. Finally, a third, less obvious reason is Mobius’s desire to express himself in ways Loki does so effortlessly. That desire may come from the suppression and repression of his own softspoken queerness in order to survive the fascist culture of the TVA. 

Mobius is captivating for many reasons. Whereas Loki is a textbook example of culture viewing “queerness as evil”, “queerness as flamboyance”, “queerness as stylishness”, “queerness as loudness”, “queerness as sexual promiscuity and deviance”, “queerness as chaos”, Mobius very much aligns with the image of a straight-passing, repressed queer individual. This is an identity that does not get as much attention or presence in artistic media as it deserves, for there are many who need this representation to reflect them. He is not stereotypically queer by any means: he is not colorful. He is not stylish, flamboyant, or loud. His sex appeal primarily derives from the viewers’ attraction to his personality, though it certainly helps that Owen Wilson is quite handsome.  

Combine these three reasons, and it becomes easy to see how a character (or person!) like Mobius might fall in love with a character (or person!) like Loki.  

There is a certain amount of beautiful irony in how Loki and Mobius affect one another and consequently their identities. Mobius, feeling compassion toward an individual who has been brutally othered and oppressed, seeks to free Loki from the confines of his narrative, as determined by the “Time Keepers”.  The only feasible way to do this is to bring a variant of Loki out of the timeline and into the TVA. Mobius then provides Loki with the opportunity to change by: acknowledging Loki’s strengths, giving Loki the chance to use his strengths in productive ways, praising Loki when he does well, listening to Loki, believing in Loki, calling out Loki, and accepting Loki as he is, with all his history, without judgement. Mobius does not try to force change like Thor or Odin. Rather, he creates an environment in which change could happen naturally. This kindness and, indeed, what becomes unconditional love by the end of S1E4, allows Loki to embrace his authentic queerness with self-love and use his feminine powers for altruism rather than masking them with self-hatred and masculine rage. 

FREEING LOKI 

In S1E1, Mobius is enthralled with Loki’s hijinks as the handsome, charming, devil-may-care, D.B. Cooper. This minor escapade in Loki’s life, which was likely only intended for laughs by the writer, reveals something interesting about Mobius: Loki’s mischievousness, his magic, his cunning, are all quite endearing to him when no real harm is being inflicted. That is, Loki, when not under duress, is someone to be admired when he’s being himself. We admire in people what we wish we had in ourselves, and this, at times, may lead to powerful attraction. 

Loki, for his part, does much the same for Mobius. The environment (the TVA) which allowed Loki to thrive is also the same environment that has abused and constrained Mobius. 

The heat that Ravonna presses upon Mobius, however, changes his tone with Loki himself. When Loki asks Mobius why he “[sticks] his neck out for [him]”, Mobius provides Loki with two options to choose from: “A. He sees a scared little boy shivering in the cold, or B. He will say whatever he needs to say to get the job done”. Option A, while insulting, has compassion layered beneath the barb. Loki, an expert at cloaking truth with meanness, sees through this and indirectly chooses what he believes to be true in the cafeteria scene: that Mobius feels sympathy for Loki’s painful childhood. The subtext of this acknowledgement is that the true means to the end is reversed: Mobius doesn’t need Loki to catch the Variant on the timelines. Mobius needs the Variant to free Loki from the timelines. The Variant is an excuse and another agent of poetic irony: when Sylvie unleashes the multiverse, she literally frees Loki of his predetermined narrative. 

The conceit of S1E1 is that Mobius intends to use Loki for the “good” of the Sacred Timeline. It is important to remember that characters, while not real, are meant to mirror human complexity. Multiple, seemingly conflicting things may be true concurrently. In S1E2, we see in Mobius’s conversations with Ravonna that he deeply believes in Loki’a capacity to be a wonderful person and wants him to have the opportunity to change. His enthusiasm for these things outshines his desire to catch Sylvie.  

And, because the Variant is Loki, because Sylvie is Loki, because, as she says, “[they] are the same”, Mobius’s own freeing of Loki, his unconditional love for him, cascades from Loki to Sylvie. Sylvie would not be free to live as she pleases if not for Mobius’s compassion for Loki in the first place. 

In S1E4, Loki reveals the TVA’s sham. Mobius’s sense of self becomes fragile alongside his sense of partnership with Loki. But because of our sociopolitical culture’s influence on capitalism, the creative voices of the Loki series self-censures what could be (what is) a queer romance. This self-censureship makes itself known in Mobius’s own self-censureship. His jealousy and heartbreak cannot be spoken directly. It must be spoken through the words of a woman, someone who presents as the opposite sex. Through a looping memory of a scornful Sif telling Loki, “You are alone and always will be”, Mobius makes known the nature of his feelings for him.  

BUT WHO WILL FREE MOBIUS? 

In the same cafeteria scene in S1E2, Loki asks Mobius if he’s ever ridden a jet ski. Mobius’s response is demure, saying him riding one would “cause a branch for sure”. The jet ski gives the audience another clue as to what Mobius seeks in life: something fun, thrilling, and reckless. Yet Mobius sets aside his desires for what he believes is for the good of the TVA, and thus humanity. This suppression and repression of authentic selfhood mirrors the queer experience of living within a heteronormative culture, especially one with religious doctrines that equate pleasure with sinfulness.  

Because Mobius extended his heart, his partnership, his love (symbolized by twin daggers hidden in his locker [a closet]; notably a male phallic symbol of which there are a pair [partners]) and was soundly rejected, Mobius retaliates with the loneliness he himself feels. This loneliness may be interpreted as an allegory for the loneliness of being closeted as opposed to the loneliness of being out but othered. 

Ultimately, Mobius’s love for Loki shifts from selfish desire to unconditional love when he chooses to help Loki save Sylvie. In S1E5, it is conspicuous that after delivering Sylvie safely to Loki’s side, Mobius’s partings words are, “Guess you got away again”, to which Loki replies, “I always do”, which echos the lover’s trope of “the one that got away”. 

[It drives me absolutely bananas that I can't find the specific gif I need when I literally saw it multiple times earlier this week but didn't need it THEN]

Owen’s acting choice is interesting here. He laughs, smiles, then looks down before looking up again, his eyes shifting from fondness to what feels like longing. Mobius extends his hand, a sensible choice for someone who believes his love is unrequited and is unsure of how Loki defines their relationship. Loki, appreciating what Mobius has done for him, closes the distance with an embrace and thanks Mobius for his friendship. 

In S2E1, upon Loki’s time-slipping into the war room, whatever apprehensions Mobius had about physical contact was wiped away by the collapse of the TVA and the memory of Loki’s hug. In this scene, it becomes clear to Mobius that Loki is panicking. He makes the executive decision to use his physical contact as a grounding force, relocates Loki to a quiet environment, asks after Sylvie with no bitterness in his voice, then prioritizes Loki’s physical well-being. Perhaps, in Mobius’s view, his love is unrequited, but there is nothing in place to stop him from expressing that love more freely while honoring Loki’s feelings for Sylvie. This regard, which may be construed as platonic, may also be viewed romantic, courtly love. 

The fight between Loki and Sylvie in S1E6 sets the stage for Mobius to receive Loki and become a refuge for heartbreak.  

S2E2 and S2E3 has Loki’s and Mobius’s temperaments when it comes to investigating flipped. In S1, Mobius was focused on the mission and often had to reign in Loki. In S2, Mobius is more casual, more willing to take his time and enjoy the sleuthing as it unfolds, while Loki administers pressure to stay focused. The question is why? 

In S2E2, Brad attacks Mobius’s sense of self. He points out how weird it is that Mobius is not at all curious about looking at his timeline and stresses that the TVA, and everything in it, isn’t real. Brad calls into question Mobius’s reason for staying. Knowing that the answer is Loki, we can surmise through the queer lens that Brad also corners Mobius into potentially outing himself in front of the object of his affections, someone he believes does not return his feelings, and whose knowledge of those feelings may threaten their friendship. This is a traumatic experience for queer people in the real world, and this extra layer of emotional conflict adds depth to Mobius’s violent response.  

Mobius influenced Loki in a myriad of ways. One that has not been discussed yet is an appreciation for focus and order. Loki, in turn, has cracked the door open for Mobius to explore pleasure. We can speculate that, in his own way, Mobius is testing what happiness could look like living a life between the TVA and the timelines. For him, this means cocktails at the theater, cracker jacks, and exploring the World’s Fair, all of which are pleasurable on their own but are even more so with Loki’s company. His queerness, once again, is quiet, mundane, but playful in its own right, and finally brave enough to explore. These scenes suggest that Mobius is indeed happy at the TVA and, as we see in the finale, this happiness is solely rooted in his relationship with Loki and the emotional intimacy they share together. 

Loki expresses concern for Mobius, noting that he has “never seen him like that before.” Mobius, interestingly, deflects every concern by absurdly blaming Loki: “He got under your skin”, “I was following you!” The psychological undercurrent here is that Loki is the reason why Brad got under Mobius skin. Loki is the person that Mobius will follow.  

Loki takes Mobius’s distress in stride, responding in a way the Mobius normally would. However, Brad’s question piques his interest, and his own care for Mobius prompts him to gently challenge Mobius’s lack of interest in his own timeline. Mobius’s reason for avoidance is, “What if it’s something good?” 

In S2E5, it’s interesting that “good” in this narrative is defined as a heteronormative fantasy of a house, two kids, and (possibly) a puppy and a snake. The “good” in Mobius’s original timeline, however, is imperfect. There is a partner that is missing (partners being a recurring theme in the series, particularly in S2E3), pronounced gone not once but twice. The entire scene between Don and Loki has been discussed at length by many, so there’s no need to reiterate it here. However, let’s bring our attention to Mobius’s avoidance of this “good” because this avoidance resonates with another queer experience. 

The TVA, for Mobius, is the place where he studied, saved, and developed a close relationship with Loki. The fear of the “something good” is the fear of being confronted with something Mobius “should” want more than the TVA, and therefore “should” want more Loki. The fear is wanting something (or feeling pressured to want something) other than a queer relationship with no children. The question of “choice” is impacted by what is considered the “norm”. 

S2E5 very pointedly focuses on the concern of choice, especially Mobius’s choice, in the bar scene between Loki and Sylvie. “Mobius should get a choice now, no?” At this point, Loki’s regard for Mobius has finally caught up with the romantic nature of Mobius’s feelings for him. And Loki, living his own queer experience, is also afraid of his true desires like Mobius. In being part of the intersectional queer community, the psychological need to guard against disappointment is high and commonplace. Desires are easily disappointed by the expectations of oppressive social mores. This survival tactic manifests itself with our hope and heartbreak with mainstream media, Loki the series being among them. 

But Sylvie, the harbinger of true and absolute freedom, takes on the role of supportive ex and challenges Loki to answer Mobius’s question in S1E1: “What do you want?”  

In this, Mobius and Loki’s individual relationships with the TVA are identical. It was never about where (the TVA), when (time works differently at the TVA), or why (the timelines). It was about who. It was about each other. The TVA represents a liminal space which became home by virtue of the people who brought love into it. The TVA is code for Loki and Mobius when each speaks of it. 

Again, the artists behind the media must self-censure. In this, Loki also self-censures while giving the truth. “I don’t want to be alone. I want my friends back.” It cannot be denied that Mobius is Loki’s first truest and closest friend. “I don’t want to be alone. I want Mobius back.” Sylvie appreciates and validates this desire, but also points out that showing the TVA is something that cannot be unseen. The implication of this response suggests that Sylvie believes that Loki’s friends will feel compelled to join the TVA out of moral pressure. She reiterates the true lives that are being lived, and Loki, loving his friends, loving Mobius, elects to not take that away from them. “You are just fine without the TVA.” 

Yet, Loki must choose an act of profound selfless love to save everyone. In doing so, he saves and frees Mobius in the way Mobius saved and freed him. The tragedy and, once again, poetic irony is that they both would have chosen each other. In giving everyone freedom, the true freedom of Loki and Mobius is sacrificed. This double-standard reflects in our reality between those who identify as cis and heterosexual and those who do not. 

When Mobius looks at his timeline in S2E6, he does so for one reason: that timeline survived because of Loki’s sacrifice. He must honor that sacrifice and see what Loki protected. Mobius appreciates what he finds, but he doesn’t belong there. It is not what he ultimately longs for. And there must be worry, shame, in recognizing he would prefer to give up the house and two children if a life with Loki were a viable choice. 

We all experience loss in our lives. Loss without a goodbye is also commonplace but is another pain that is more acute within the intersectional queer community. I speak of missed opportunities for happiness due to external forces. I speak of loss of self. I speak of loss of friends and family and home. I speak of death, losing a loved one without a goodbye, because same-sex lovers are not considered next of kin, an impossibility without marriage. Marriage echoes back to Don, who has no spouse, and Mobius, who has no partner. 

[itsclydebitches]

We've all rightly been gushing over Trent listening in on the parent-teacher conference and there are a lot of cool interpretations for why he'd eavesdrop: a crush on Ted, a tendency towards gossip (as seen in "International Break"), the fact that you just can't take the journalism out of the boy, Trent is clearly picking up personal tidbits for the book if the group's initial "Don't print that" worries are any indication, etc. So yeah, it's clear why he'd want/be okay with the door staying open.

Meanwhile, I'm slightly feral over Ted letting the door stay open and what that conveys to Trent.

Based on what we've picked up about his personal life and the direction of this season, we have good reason to believe that Trent was a deeply isolated man prior to Ted arriving. His job makes enemies simply by virtue of the profession itself, especially when you "bring the heat" as hard as he did. Roy flipping the press off at the gala in Season 1 and Nate sneaking out at dark this last episode shows us how journalists are treated on the regular: ignored, dismissed, told to "fuck off" as a matter of course. That's often well deserved, as Roy's two personal stories (Trent's article about him + the response to Isaac's attack) attest, but the end result is still a profession that alienates you from anyone other than your peers. When you're a "colossal prick" in your articles, people hate you all the more.

So Trent at least has other journalist buddies, yeah? Well, not that we've seen. I always think back to that chorus of "--The Independent" in the press room when everyone knew what Trent was going to say and how it... wasn't entirely fun ribbing. I think there's a fair bit of mockery there. Even if others disagree, I doubt that was received well by someone who wears their professionalism as an armor, who takes off his glasses as soon as they're complimented, who was, notably, closeted into his 40s. Trent is a man who is deeply aware of how others perceive him (pointing out his "vibe" feels quite calculated now: highlight what you want people to notice rather than waiting for them to find something on their own) and he is likely to read the worst of most interactions. Cue his shocked, "You really mean that, don't you?" when faced with someone like Ted who is not only genuinely nice, but blunt about it in a way that Trent can't misunderstand, or brush off via denial.

What's his home life like? Married to a woman when he's gay and that's putting a serious strain on them both. He tries to come out and isn't believed. The only other family members we know about are a toddler (who, while lovely I'm sure, can't provide Trent with the kind of emotional support an adult needs) and a father who, if we read the series through Lance's headcanons, may not have been very supportive of his son. Who else does Trent know? Uhhh... other subjects who hate him? Owners like Rebecca who want to use him? A random, potential date that he felt so little for he ditched to get a quote?

(EDIT: I can't believe I forgot to mention the strong implications that Ted was bullied in childhood/as a teenager, based on how he reacts to the whole of the club ignoring him -- resigned but unsurprised -- his reaction to Roy telling him to fuck off after he tries to mend that relationship -- disappointedly awkward "I can't believe I even tried that. What was I thinking?" -- and his body language during the locker room scene -- jumping, furtive glances towards Ted, backed up against the shower stall because shit, he's been in this situation before.

So uh, yeah. Trent may not have had a lot of friends growing up either! That was not the response of a social butterfly, but rather someone who is already very used to being ignored/dismissed/cursed out/threatened, not just within his profession, but within the school-like atmosphere of Richmond's family too.)

I'm by no means reinventing the meta wheel here, but Trent has truly undergone a STAGGERING transformation in Season 3 and the result of that is the reframing of his Season 1 and 2 scenes as, frankly, more depressing than they originally seemed. Seeing him now smiling, singing, gossiping, dressing just in t-shirts, casually snacking, making jokes, letting go enough to be a complete, hyperactive "dork" in front of others... it just hammers home how deeply unhappy Trent was before. How closed off. How closeted--in more ways than one.

So what must it mean to someone like Trent for Ted to leave the door open?

It's not just an open invitation towards community--sit near me, listen in, quietly participate, there's literally no barrier between us--but a staggeringly personal one too. I don't care if a 10-ish year old failing science is inconsequential in the grand scheme of things, the fact remains that letting anyone hear a parent-teacher conference with your ex is a hell of a show of trust. That would mean a lot to Trent in general, this acknowledgement that someone trusts the ex-prick journalist with that amount of personal information, but Ted in particular? Oh boy. Ted is the one Trent betrayed with that article! And yeah, Ted forgave him the instant he learned of it, but Trent himself was obviously feeling a lot of guilt, hence him burning his source and orchestrating a firing. Toss in the fact that Ted, despite being a VERY open man on the regular (I still laugh at his "I don't mind" to Rebecca when over-sharing about Michelle) has in fact denied Trent information in the past. No, I won't tell you that was a panic attack. Yes, I will continue the lie that it was food poisoning. Perhaps for Ted it was less about Trent knowing and more about anyone getting at the truth, but at the end of the day it amounts to the same: there was a time when Ted did not fully trust him and Trent justified that fear by writing the very article Ted was looking to avoid, even if Trent approached that situation with as much grace as he could.

So this moment, beyond the humor, just makes my brain go !!!!!! for Trent. Ted Lasso, of all people, has left the door open for Trent Crimm, also of all people, to hear the messy details of his, Henry, and Michelle's life. He is not at all afraid that this information will be spun in a bad light--Local Gaffer's Son Suffers While Father Plays at Coach Across the Pond--despite the fact that Trent is actively writing a book about him. Trent himself is so unguarded in this moment, dressed only in a t-shirt, playing around with his orange, making little quips. The Trent of Season 1 would NEVER. I mean, I think we see small glimpses of the real Trent back then, especially when Ted amuses him enough to coax his guard down for half a second (Trent's reaction to “Make like Dunst and Union and bring it on, baby!" comes to mind. That's a gesture we're seeing a lot now that he's comfortable around the club), but on the whole he was still so, so, so isolated. No one knew the real him: gay, funny, dorky, inquisitive, longing for companionship and using the artificial 'closeness' of journalism to cover that ache up.

Now? Trent is fully a part of the Richmond community and he knows he's a part of it because everyone--Ted, Beard, Roy, Colin, Rebecca--are going out of their way to tell him that, notably in very overt ways. Trent strikes me as someone who wouldn't fully believe it when he's told someone enjoys his company; the kind of wounded, anxiety-prone person who, if casually invited to participate, would assume they're just being polite and he'd actually be an annoyance to them. Trent needs overt, obvious, beat-you-over-the-head-with-it reassurance, which is why Ted is so very good for him because Ted is composed of THE most over-the-top positivity you've ever seen. (Compare that need of Trent's to Michelle thinking that Ted is too much...) When faced with a defensive journalist Ted says explicitly that he liked spending time with Trent. When faced with a still unsure writer who thinks of himself only as an observer--never a part of the team himself--Ted literally begs with monkey noises to hear Trent's opinions. He's blunt to the point of absurdity and someone like Trent who has likely spent the majority of his life hiding/being told that his true self is inadequate needs that level of constant, neon-light reassurance.

So Ted leaves the door open to a personal conversation, refusing to literally bar Trent from his life. The best part? Colin re-opens the door because he understands Trent and he knows his coach; of course Ted wants him included. Colin asks permission to CLOSE the door, not open it, and Trent is seeing this openness again and again over the course of several months, with each episode bringing him further out of his shell as he slowly unlearns that self-doubt. Yes, please stay, please tell us what you think, please offer your advice, please join our Diamond Dogs, please ask us questions (they're no longer perceived as a threat), please become an integral part of our lives. We trust you and we like you and we want you here.

Everyone's waiting for Trent to catch the door again because, you know, the rule of three, but what if he doesn't need to? What if he's past slipping a hand or a foot through the crack and scraping by on what that gets him? He caught the door before it could close to get closer to Colin. He caught the door before it could close to get closer to Ted. Now they've both kept the door open for him, his presence welcomed from the get-go.

Trent doesn't need to sprint for that opening anymore.

[pigeonpeach]

How they would react to you being tied up

Suggestive but silly

Cw: nothing explicit but heavily mentioned. Fmab reader

Characters: Jean, Beidou, Shenhe, Diluc

Jean

“A-are you sure that’s comfortable for you?” She said a bit concerned. While she loved your body she was worried the ropes dug too deeply. “Well.. lisa recommended I try it for you. And I may or may not have done it wrong.” You say, trying not to let in that you’re genuinely tangled in this failed attempt of seduction. She gives up trying to untie it and simply procures a small knife to gently release you. You sigh in relief once the tension and tightness is gone.

“Next time have someone else do this for you. Please my love, I don’t want you get yourself hurt.” She kissed your back as she untangled the now limp ropes off your body. “I still like my present though. I just prefer if its not damaged.” She says teasingly.

“Hey! I didn’t mean ro.” You say defensively.

“I know I know. Are you still in the mood to…”

“Of course! I prepared all this! We’re not letting it go to waste!”

“Of course dear. Lets retry that then shall we? I’ll tie you myself more simply.” Jean smiled a bit more mischievously, all while your back was turned.

Beidou

She shakes her head, a amused smile on her face. “These ropes are NOT for skin dear. It could easily damage you. If you want to do that kind of play we cannot use this rope.” You sulk in embarrassment.

“I had to make do.” You said. She clicked her tongue in disagreement.

“If you really want more suitable binds i could just take that shirt of yours instead. Roll it up and tie your hands together. When we’re back on shore we can get proper handcuffs but for now that can do.” She suggests. That idea is really hot. “Or i could just take your hands pin them above your head?” She offers again. Your mind short circuiting at the though.

“Yes. All of them.” You said. She chuckled,

“You truly are insatiable my love. I love it.” She grinned as she took your hands, firmly grasping them. “Lets not waste any time then.”

Shenhe

“You mean to say you tied yourself up… on purpose?” She said confused. You nod embrassed. “For what reason? There isn’t any enemies nearby… is there.” The mere thought of such led you to know her polearm was ready just in case.

“No no no… you see its a form of role play… powerplay you know. Some people find it thrilling to have their partner at their mercy in this context.” You explain.

“I don’t think its a good idea to play with such impulses with me. My red ropes don’t retain all my impulses.” She says. “I fear that if I indulge them too much I’ll become to used to it..” you sigh as you put the ropes away.

“I understand. I should’ve asked you first I’m sorry love.” You apologize.

“I never said i didn’t like it…” she said. You blushed processing her words. “Let me clarify, I don’t like the idea of you being bound by rope because I’d rather it be me doing it myself. If I saw you bound by rope it makes me feel too… monstrous. I don’t want it to feel like you’re a sacrifice to me.” She explains. You nod.

“So you would be down to restrain me.. just with yourself instead of any ropes?”

“Indeed.”

“Well then should we get started?” You say nervously pulling on your bra strap, letting it snap against your skin. You barely blinked before she was ontop of you, your hands above your hand, pinned roughly.

Diluc

The second he saw you in bed, posed like a damsel, arms and legs tied with that look in your eyes he stopped as he taken aback. You squirm teasingly as he takes in the sight.

“Oh my you’re full of surprises tonight.” He says as a smile forms on his face. You smiled as he turned you over onto your back. “I’d rather hold you down myself though- oh.” He noticed your hands seemed too tightly wound, a slight purple tint to them. He quickly tore the ropes off to your surprise.

“He-oh… OWWW.” You shouted as the feeling in your hands returned leaving you feeling excruciating pain all the sudden as your hands had fallen asleep.

“Sorry to ruin our fun. I don’t want you to lose your hands.” He said a bit worried. He held your hands out to inspect them, his arousal forgotten as he felt his protectiveness take over.

“No no I understand. I really shouldn’t have tied it myself. I should’ve settled on handcuffs.” You sighed.

“Once you’ve recovered I could retie it myself. Or maybe its better if I just pin you down myself.” He said.

“It was supposed to be for you so I guess you should just go with what you want.” You said, shaking your hands trying to rid the needle like sensations stinging in your hands.

“Well.. I still appreciate the get up..” he said eyeing your body.

“This is my normal night gown, you’re just far too easily aroused. I could probably wear a potato sack and you would find it attractive.” You teased. He smiled brushing hair out of your face.

“It’s because you’re the one wearing it. Do you feel better now?” He asked. You felt a little bit better.

“Yes now lets get to it! I didn’t prepare all this for nothing.” You practically jumped ontop of him. He smiled.

“I love when you smile like that.” He said with a dumb smile on his face.

“Stop being sappy I’m trying to turn you on!” You exclaim playful.

[cosettepontmercys]

I truly can’t pinpoint when/what exactly changed about Taylor’s fans/fandom but the last few years (especially the midnights release) has really soured things for me and it’s honestly quite disappointing as someone who genuinely enjoys her music and thinks she’s a great artists. how did we get to the point of not even being able to voice an opinion about taylor without being crucified online. or if heaven forbid you dislike a song/album or enjoy the work of one of her exes (john mayer, the 1975, calvin harris, etc)

i’ve always been very fascinated/intrigued by the relationship between celebrities and their fans. and i think it’s really interesting to look back and think about how taylor built her fanbase by making herself as palatable/relatable/approachable as possible. like secret sessions, t party/loft 89/rep room, swiftmas, lover diaries, etc — all of which allow for fan interaction — but also relies on people getting noticed which then in turn encourages people to be as vocal? extra? whatever it is. which then feeds into the "who is a bigger / better fan" competition. i'm speaking from personal experience here, as someone who has liked her since debut — but i think a lot of this is also rooted in how much of the world hated taylor swift prior to ... i want to say folklore, really — like it was deeply uncool to like taylor swift, to be a swiftie, etc. and because a lot of that early criticism was rooted so much in misogyny, i think fans felt the need to (over the years) defend her — and i was one of those! i still am, when i feel like people are criticizing her unfairly. but i think that lends into the "taylor swift has never done anything wrong, and she's perfect and if you disagree then you're against us and you're a fake fan" mentality.

and then i think there's an element of ... not necessarily a superiority complex, but a something among fans who have met taylor. it's a genius marketing move, intentions aside. taylor's music is very personal — and taylor's marketing, and persona is very personal, in a way that other artists prior to taylor weren't, i think. relatability sells. you can see it in the way that people talk about her, and her music. which is very different from the way people talk about other artists — and obviously there isn't anyone else out there with the amount of fame/popularity as her, but you don't see the same amount of fanfiction-writing personal-life-speculating-projection onto other artists' lyrics as you do with taylor. and i think that when someone is that vulnerable with their thoughts, it makes it easy for people to think that they know them personally.

and i think that — as much as i love taylor — it's important to talk about her white woman feminism mentality. and i think that also seeps into how her fanbase interacts with her. the ginny & georgia "joke" is what comes to mind the quickest, but there are countless instances of taylor's white woman feminism — and her benefiting from it. and obviously it was in her right to call out a misogynistic comment, especially one directed at her, but not saying anything when the actress got so much hate for a line she didn't write ... made me feel a bit 🥴. it's interesting to see who taylor will choose to align herself with, i guess is all i'm saying.

i've really taken a step back from taylor — not just because the fandom is exhausting ( the amount of things i've seen about her, joe, travis, etc. is ... something! it's all projection! we do not know anything about these people other than what they choose to show us! ) but also because of her saying that she wanted to be on the right side of history and then over and over again choosing to be increasingly passive and silent. she will call herself an ally but won’t even talk about queer rights; she won’t talk about the literal genocide that’s going on. gun control, abortion rights, anything at all. it's just "go vote" but even that is incredibly passive. but she will take time to remind us to buy new variants, and to stream her music, and that her ex sucks.

i think there was a huge shift that started with folklore/evermore, just given that there weren't a lot of albums being put out during that time, the overwhelming public reception to it — a lot of people who previously didn't care for (or disliked) taylor started to like her, to give her a second chance, etc. then we get into the rerecordings era/midnights/etc., which started off with fearless and nostalgia and then became "how quickly can i put out the next thing". and bailey @placeinthisworld posted this earlier, which i fully agree with. it's about the next award, the next milestone. it's just all quantity. it's overexposure.

and then we have the joe alwyn breakup and the public response to that was also ... interesting. like i saw people crying over it, or saying that love is a lie, removing things from their playlists, acting like they were the ones who had been broken up with. which is just ... odd, given that we aren't the ones in the relationship. and now there are all these comments about being a "joe defender". and then with taylor dating travis, it feels almost like some weird american pipe dream unfulfilled fantasy for so many people — the singer and the american football player. and obviously, i want her to be happy! i don't care who she dates! but i do think the public reception about her and travis has been ... incredibly odd, and i think that the way people talk about her and travis is just ... very ... off-putting and is very rooted in some weird ... stuff. "she finally gets to be small :(((((" is such a weird thing to say. it feels like there's even more projection and self-insert-y stuff with her dating travis, which is a level i did not think was possible from her fans (and more so, the general public).

i have not felt this ... detached and impassive about a taylor release, ever, and it just makes me incredibly sad because i love her music, and am excited about the work, just not excited about the public reception, the public autopsy of her and joe's relationship, or the noise, and i know that internet spaces (and spaces in general) are what we curate, but it's also difficult when she is everywhere.

[flowerbxuquet]

Unspoken promises

Lottie Matthews x fem!reader

A/N: AHHH guys lottie’s just my scared pookie stop ALSO THIS IS NOT SHAUNA SLANDER. I haven’t rewatched the show in a while so some info could be inaccurate

WARNINGS: reference to miscarriages, blood, bruises, cuts, just mentions of violence but no actual writing about it. (I didn’t proof read this)

Lottie Matthews eyes slowly opened and adjusted to the blurry haze in her vision, smelling the familiar wood and fire of the cabin, she could feel her painful swollen face and the feeling of the sleeping bag she was on.

Lottie went to go sit up, wincing in pain and gasping out in shock, pain shooting up her body as a reminder of the earlier confrontation from Shauna. A soft voice quickly fills her ears and a pair of arms support her so she doesn’t fall and hurt herself.

“Y/n.” Lottie’s gravelly voice comes out as her gaze is still blurry but she can barely make out the colors and your face shape in her line of sight, her hand shakily reaching out to cup your soft cheek.

You were her rock in this whole situation, Lottie had been a bit distant lately, even before the Shauna situation. The cannibalism and the death of her former love, Laura Lee, was quickly ripped away from her when she acknowledged her feelings and she was scared the same would occur with you, but even though you were still so kind to her.

You showed genuine care that no one besides Laura ever really did, her heart would clench at every kind gesture, she wasn’t used to affection. Lottie’s parents made sure to give her everything but that growing up and she was so starved of any sort of love.

You take a deep breathe, taking Lottie’s hand that’s on your face and holding it tightly, you were so scared Lottie was going to die and you’ve just now realized how deeply you cared for the girl, a sense of love in your heart.

“I was so worried about you. Why did you do that?” You whisper softly to her, holding her hand tightly but not tight enough to hurt the wounds on her hand.

Lottie take a deep breathe, she knows exactly why she did it, Lottie knows the pain that Shauna had, losing not only one person but two that were so deeply important to her. Lottie remembers when she just wanted to kill and scream at someone after the plane exploded when Laura Lee died.

Lottie only wished the best for everyone, she wanted to give Shauna the experience she wished she had.

“Shauna needed it and we all know that.” Is all that Lottie says, her voice is sore from being asleep for so long and you remember that you have a cup of water with you and you gently lift it to her lips, letting the water fall between her cracked and bruised lips.

You roll your eyes at that, taking the cup and setting it down once she’s done with the water, “I know Shauna’s going through a lot but that doesn’t make up for the fact that you could’ve died.”

Lottie frowns, maybe that’s true, maybe Lottie just doesn’t care enough about her own well-being to think like that, but she knows if it was you in her situation Lottie probably would have thought the same.

“I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you.” Your voice fills her ears again, this time it’s sad and your voice is shaky, “Seeing you lying on the floor, i-in your own blood, made me realize how much I truly do care about you.”

Lottie felt her heart beat faster and clench, a warmth filling her body even though it was so cold in the cabin.

“You mean a lot to me too.” Lottie whispers softly, her voice sounding a bit better after the water but still low and gravely, “More then I ever thought possible.”

You stared at her and your hand goes to run through her hair, making her almost purr like a cat as she leaned into your touch, she was so damn touch starved and she enjoyed the affection.

You smile softly and continue to run your fingers through her long hair, her head eventually finds its way to your shoulder and Lottie’s curled up against you, a blanket draped over the both of you.

“You..stayed with me all this time?” Lottie asks softly after a couple minutes of comfortable silence and she can feel your head nodding against her as you continue to hold her close to you.

Lottie feels so touched, that you cared, not like how the others cared, because she was their “leader” but because you genuinely saw her as your friend, a loyal companion, and she appreciated that.

Lottie felt like everyone had been treating her as some sort of god and she hated it, she hated that everyone looked up to her for everything and the pressure was on her.

“I couldn’t leave your side, no matter how many times the others told me to give you distance just in case. You mean so much to me, Lott.” You smile and snuggle a bit closer to her for warmth.

A vulnerable silence fell upon the room as Lottie’s heart pounded in her chest at your words, should she tell you her feelings? Lottie felt so comfortable but she didn’t want to ruin this. The two girls unspoken feelings hanging in the air as Lottie’s heart pounds so loud that she’s worried you may hear it.

“I…I’ve always felt something for you, but, I was so scared of losing you..” Lottie whispers so silently that if it wasn’t so quiet in the cabin you probably wouldn’t have heard it. Your heart stops for a moment, was she saying what you think she was saying?

“Lottie..I’ve always felt something strong for you too, you’re never going to lose me.” You reassure her, your voice full of tenderness as you fall back into a silence, the harsh wind blowing against the window in the attic.

Lottie’s sore body slowly sits up until she’s facing you, she can see a bit better now and Lottie blinks a few times before her hand reaches out and cups your cheek.

Lottie leaned in slowly but hesitated, looking at you and silently asking for permission and you nodded slowly, your gaze flickering to her lips. Slowly you two leaned in and met in a tender, cautious kiss.

Lottie’s lips stung with the bruises and cuts on her lips but the pleasurable pain filled her with bliss as she finally got to touch your lips with her own and it felt like pure heaven, pure ecstasy, the two of you curled up into each other and kissed for as long as your breathes would let you, and so. In the quiet solitude of the attic, you two exchanged soft words and kisses, a promise for a new start of life in your chaos filled experience in the wilderness.

[teruel-a-witch]

steve is a ride-or-die husband in married for real

doesn't even ask why danny wants to kill someone, just who, and immediately assumes they will be doing it together, just like everything else.

all jokes aside about how deeply married they are, genuinely it's astounding how truly intertwined their lives are. 'your problems become my problems'. just like in a real marriage there's a certain entitlement towards each other's possessions, 'what's mine is yours and viceversa'.

steve drives danny's car and even danny slips and calls it 'our car'

danny calls steve's living room 'our living room'

'why is he mad at us?' 'must be your fault' aka they share enemies and grudges

steve helps himself to danny's wallet (basically pooled finances) but also drops exorbitant amounts of money on gifts to danny and grace

danny wanders into steve's house without knocking and helps himself to steve's fridge whenever he feels like it

not to mention how possessive he is over steve's kitchen and is indignant when he sees another man using what's his (because when he lived in a shitty apartment he basically used it whenever to learn to cook properly as by the end of s1 he's clearly cooked steve breakfast enough times that steve knows he hates his eggs)

'what are WE thinking, buddy'

co-parenting danny's kids together (steve even calls grace 'my girl' and worries about her being sent to a school that's gonna be a den of sin)

'if a guy was taking pictures like that of my daughter I'd kill him' 'me too'

when danny gets called away for work steve finishes charlie's bedroom by himself and then tells charlie danny did it just like a stay-at-home parent covering up for the busy parent

danny delegates activities he doesn't want to do (jogging, training, surfing) but steve would love to do to him so they are both contributing in raising grace. (meanwhile he hates that stan is paying for her tennis lessons, intruding on something danny willingly lets steve in on)

steve sees danny's retirement as their business, 'our retirement'

they go 50/50 on a restaurant which is danny's dream and steve is nothing if not a supportive husband

all the times danny stays at the house for weeks rent free (and sleeps in steve's bed while house-sitting and blames it on the dog) and moves in twice, second time permanently

dreams of shared future together, 'this is how I always thought it was gonna end, two guys sitting on the beach, watching sunsets'

they really are married in all but the legal sense. it's a mutually beneficial partnership where they are equals not in the sense that they literally contribute the same amount but they contribute what they can in accordance to their ability and compromise and fit together like a jigsaw puzzle. they even have an almost innate telepathy only characteristic of people that have been married for decades.

[coffeenonsense]

I usually try to stay in my lane most of the time (mostly bc I am far too old for fandom drama) but what the hell, it's friday, let's put that lit degree to use:

the way people are playing morality politics with fiction is really starting to genuinely irk me and I think some of the responses to ascended astarion are a perfect example of why this type of thinking is actually hugely detrimental to one's ability to meaningfully engage with fiction and also to the future of art.

astarion is one of the most well-written complex characters I've seen in recent years bar none (and I'm clearly not alone given the explosion of his personal fandom lol) and he has a truly compelling, emotionally resonant character arc whether you ascend him or not

If you keep him a spawn, you get a deeply touching, realistic character's journey to healing and personal growth where he learns who he is after the experience of his trauma and depending on the player's choice, explores his relationship to sex, romance and intimacy

If you ascend astarion, you get an equally emotional and well-rounded character arc where he chooses the power that allows him to have the desperate freedom and safety he's wanted, but in the process eschews any hope of real healing or personal development, and again, depending on the player's choices, restarts the cycle of abuse by taking cazador's place.

These options offer vastly different paths for the character and experiences for the player, but while yes, ascended astarion is the evil ending, and yes, ascending astarion is a tragedy, and a fucking incredible one (not only do you have astarion reigniting a circle of abuse but you have the narrative weight of KNOWING he could have actually overcome his trauma...hats off to the bg3 team tbh) but that does not mean ascending astarion MAKES YOU AS THE PLAYER EVIL

Ascend astarion because you love tragic story arcs, ascend him because you want to indulge in a master/slave vampire fantasy, don't ascend him because you want a healing character journey, don't ascend him because you want a sweet romance; all of these choices carry the same moral weight for the player, which is to say, none, because they are an exploration of fiction.

I know I'm saying this to the villain fucker website but it bears repeating; just because someone wants to engage with evil, fucked up characters or content does not mean they support evil acts in their real life, and furthermore, exploring dark, taboo or tragic concepts safely is part of what fiction is for. It enables us to look at those things from a distance, work through difficult feelings and develop greater understanding of what makes our fellow humans tick — and before you get it twisted there's also no moral issue with exploring fucked up media bc you're horny or just, because. You can take it as seriously (or as sexily) as you want.

It's starting to really concern me how many people not only do not get, but are violently opposed to this concept, because equating what someone likes in fiction with their real life moral code and actions is an incredibly dangerous and let's be honest, immature way of thinking that not only stunts your ability to engage with fiction but ironically, hampers your ability to deal with complicated issues and emotions in real life.

I don't know what's driving this trend (though purity culture is certainly playing a role) but it's definitely something that's not just impacting individuals but contributing to the commercialization of art, where we get games and stories and tv shows and books that regurgitate the same safe, mass marketable plotlines and character archetypes over and over and over again so corporations can squeeze out as much profit as possible.

Anyway, remember kids: There's no such thing as thought crime, reaching for morally pure unproblematic media is directly contributing to the death of art, and this is why funding the humanities is important.

[nostalgink]

Due to some past trauma from previous fandoms, I'm not particularly one to engage in fandom related discourse anymore, but when you not only name-drop me, but continue to perpetuate lies about not only me, but also my friends.... that's when I'd rather "clear my name" than allow for a nasty rumor to circulate when I know it's out there.

I want to go through everything that went down in order as best as possible. Even though I’ve spent so much time on this receipt post, truly this issue was something very small, the root of the issue lies with CookieRuby herself, given she decided to continue to create and perpetuate lies and rumors about myself and others. I know she will most likely continue to make up whatever she wants to have happened to obtain pity from those who do not know the context, but I thought that if she was going to do so regardless, I might as well let everyone know mine and my friends’ side of things. Because sadly I got some very worried and confused messages wondering if the statements were truthful. Hopefully this reassures most that they are in fact not.

I also would like to say while I am deeply upset that someone would lie about me like this and continue to emotionally manipulate, then double down on it all… I still do want to say that if you know people who act as such to please help them get the help they need. The timeline of this basically showcases us interacting at 3 points ever, but its obvious in her own obsessive world she has created, it has been brewing with her much longer. Which all of this is genuinely concerning and I hope she gets help. Despite my anger.

In the beginning

I believe I knew about them prior to them joining the old Darkwing Duck RP server I used to be active in back in 2022. If you know me, I follow practically every artist in the fandom. Especially as the fandom loses traction and there are less and less of us actively creating works. So naturally I followed. I even found her oc interesting. I mean why wouldn’t I? Magentus, while more of an oc now than he was in the past, at the end of the day still is my sona so to speak. I love seeing others put themselves into their own work in their own ways. Unfortunately once I got to know them, their attitude towards others when it came to their oc soured my interest.

In a lot of her posts, she makes claims towards my friends and I (as well as I suppose vague unknown other “harrassers” prior to us. I only put it in air quotes because the amount of lying she does, ironic I know, makes me question the validity of anything she says.) that we actively hated and made fun of her for disliking Drakepad. As you can see in the screenshots provided, that is exactly the oppposite.

I also want to mention the screenshots here are an anonymous friend’s server that I used to be active in. In the screenshots provided by Soy, it refers to their old server. Though I believe there is a point in our screenshots where one is referenced in another. (I am currently not looking at them, so I can recall which is referenced in which.) I wanted to make sure there was no confusion with that. These were provided to me by Drake. I could not find them on my own. This was her asking about playing her oc initally. and some stuff I didn't screenshot previously I think?

On Soy’s Side of things

Initially I had another draft of this whole rant, but because of these screenshots I got so peeved that I spiraled into a mad disorganized rage due to the ridiculousness of all of this. So I thought it would be best to rework my words into a more composed response. Personally I had read the first set of messages after they had happened, but when it comes to the discord screenshots, these were new to me. We were all suspicious of her potentially using an alt account on tumblr to ask as a “friend”. Because while I cannot say the same for my friends, I had online friends when I was young who pulled very similar stunts to continue to emotionally manipulate me into remaining their friend and under their thumb. I do not fuck with that sort of behavior anymore. And to note from Soy they said that they had joined their old dead DWD server and immediately dmed them. The obsessive manner of her continuing whatever game she thinks this is is a genuine concern and big alarm sounding that she needs to talk to someone. She is older than me, but I have already dealt with extremely similar people in my preteens, so it’s sad to see someone being so immature like this. (I hit the 30 post limit so the screenshots will be in the reblogs for anything missing)

responses to tumblr posts

Starting with the post that finally prompted this response, I want to cover my personal opinion of each thing mentioned. Unfortunately as you will see, I do not have proof for my own ponytown run in personally, but if you read all of the messages provided, you can probably tell who’s more truthful considering it’s a 1-0 with me having evidence and her none. You’ll notice she remains vague when she can, which is most of the time.

First we need to all heavily note that this was a supposed dream. She is her character Hannah in her dream, alongside Drake. Soy, an anon, and myself appear as “hooded people” in her dream and do an incantation on her in order to curse her to not be with Drake. I suppose this causes a curse that forces Drakepad to be real in her dream? Then we say quotes she is claiming we said. I will get to that in a moment. This is a summary so that if she deletes the post linked, you still have me explaining it. (I wrote this last night, unfortunately as of right now while I was acquiring links she did in fact delete the post. Likely because of my warning post from the other day. So she is stalking my account still.) Then her own oddly crafted happy ending where the spell is broken and she gets her ending of support.

Now I’ll cover the “quotes”

“Drakepad is the only true ship”

You will here her claim people saying this to her often. In reference to my friends, such claims have been proven false. We supported her opinion despite our own. Even comforting her and letting her know its awful for anyone to try and pressure her over such a simple difference in taste. Also adding the fact we supported her oc x canon even though she could not RP it in the old server.

“Darkwing DENIED YOU” with her claiming it is something I said to her in Ponytown.

I will go more in depth in exactly what I said in ponytown further down, but I never once said this. She insisted that my opinion was that her oc x canon was not valid. I was Negaduck in game, then I specifically swapped to my Magentus pony and stated how hypocritical it would be for me to say such a thing. Then proceeded to let her know, though I was annoyed, that it’s alright for her to not ship something she does not like, but continuing to bring up that you hate a ship to people you know don’t mind it or even ship it themselves is rude. Then she proceeded to do something I can only describe as something I am seasoned to as the son of an emotionally inmature mother. Again I will elaborate in the ponytown section.

“She gaved me PTSD by her DrakePad hate. And with her tumblr post who HURTED my friends saying we “FORCED” Drakepad on our server she lied.” Which was aparently what Soy said.

I cannot speak to how soy feels completely on this, but I know they did not develop post traumatic stress disorder from this. Nor have they said this quote if you could not guess. I believe the friend was the one in the screenshots between them and soy on discord I shared above. Again, I do not trust that these are her actual friends. This is not to say she couldn’t potentially have friends who agree with her, I just don’t trust her truthfulness especially with said discord dms. But you as the reader can make your own opinion on that. From what I was told by Soy, they joined (I believe after they realized they couldn’t do oc x canon with our Darkwing in the old server, which was his choice to make.) and asked if they could do darkwing x hannah. Soy and others kindly let her know that they were working on a drakepad relationship, but saw no problem in doing dw x lp x hannah. She accepted I think? But regardless then returned to our server to both brag about how someone finally let her, but soon ranted about how uncomfortable poly stuff made them. Some of this is word of mouth, but you can see other parts referenced back above.

“You deserve no friends.” by an anon

Again, I question the validity of this claim, but assuming someone actually said this to her this is horrible to say to someone. Back in 2020 I dealt with prosh*ppers in a problematic fandom harrasing me because I outwardly was against their adult x minor ship. Unfortunately if you know what fandom I mean. (keep guesses to yourself, I don’t want to bring it up in public.) You know it’s very popular unfortunately. I was sent death threats and people telling me how unworthy of friends, love, or anything they could throw at me. I would never say this to another nor condone saying this to another. Even if CookieRuby is in the wrong here. Everyone deserves the chance to have friends and flourish as a person. I’m angry but I’d never wish such a thing. And while I’m at it I would like to suggest to you as the reader that if you are considering doing such a thing don’t. Block her, move on. It’s not worth it. I’m only here right now to give context, then I’m done. I do not want anyone going after her. I’m just here to show my receipts, not to harrass her. I’d just prove her point if I did that. I’m not that sort of person.

And I was shown her speaking about her inferiority complex. I do not have one, so I cannot speak to how true this is, but considering this was March 2023...it seems despite her admitting this, she has obviously continued to lie about people. So I don’t know if she has that complex, but she is a chronic liar at the very least so there’s that I guess.

Ponytown run ins

The provided screenshots below are from before what I’ll be describing to you. I had to re-listen to a voice note I sent after this. It’s all I have besides the discord message of me realizing it was her. I do not want to attach it just because I keep my voice to myself most times. I’m shy gang.

Starting off I was just finishing my Magentus pony. For a while they had a color palette I had just chose myself without reference and I was finally giving them their reference colors. I was returning to the darkwing rock circle I was hoping to start a darkwing pony hangout at, when I saw a Darkwing pony approach. Now, I don’t know if this was coincidence of perhaps she knows about the hangout from my story. Considering she has alts, she probably was checking my story, but that is speculation. I immediately am eager to friend them because of their pony. But of course the first words from her are “why do you have me blocked?” my mood immediately changes as it hit me that someone had told me prior she had an account. Likely due to the incident in the other ponytown screenshots. I ask to confirm if it’s her and she says yes.

So I simply put that she cause discomfort to my friends and I and that I use the block liberally. During this I am scrambling to try and block her on ponytown too, but unfortunately my block list is too full because I have been blocking Dream SMP ponies left and right. So I decide maybe here is where I can put my foot down on things. I also mentioned a side thing about how the old server I was in had a policy about posting over people, but she seemed to focus on this more. (I do not recall if this was enforced at the time, but still it was focused on way more than the main issue I was bringing up.) I mentioned how she’d post over others. I told her that it wasn’t my main point and to forget that and move onto the main issue. I explain to her as adult as I can back to her Drakepad issue that “You were being rude to people because you could get your ship. We tried to be nice and I just blocked you because I didn’t want to deal with that [anymore].” and the only thing she got from that was me saying “rude” I suppose so she responded saying “oh so I’m the toxic one?” and boy have I heard this one get pulled on me before. It’s giving emotional manipulation. I calmly reply “That is not what I said.” I said something else that I couldn’t recall, though likely just me restating what happened, then she said “well I guess I’m sorry-” I was on a call at this time with my boyfriend while he was on break as this went down, so I began speaking to him irl. I guess I did not respond to her in time because she continued with the classic backhanded comment of “Since everyone wants me to apologize anyway” or something to that effect. It was in that way that someone who does this wants you to just accept the apology even though it was not a meaningful one. She does not have to apologize, no one is making her, but that was her attitude about it. I thought I’d just end it off there with a joke to myself so I didn’t lose it. I went “I have a mother, I can be emotionally manipulated at home, I don’t need this game from you. Bye.” and logged off. Honestly there is when it actually got personal. Somewhere in the middle she insisted what I had mentioned earlier with us hating oc x canon and drakepad and all that and that statement from earlier still follows.

I even have a later note worrying there would be a post on her tumblr, but I checked once and there was nothing so I thought maybe she had gotten over herself…..we are here now so nope. Also this was 2/2/2024 for timeline’s sake.

I was transcribing from a voice note, so if it seems like there are any holes in that ask me, I’ll try to fill in what I missed.

Misc

Lastly here are things I did not know how to organize into the rant. As well as some people making mention to their experiences with her in reply to my Instagram story. I swore I would get all I could and I meant it.

And anyways thank you to those who actually took the time to read all of this mess. I don’t know how I did drama back in the day this has truly been so exhausting to write, but it was important that I did. Honestly despite my anger this is really dumb to have to make, but I do not like being lied about. I especially don’t like my friends also being lied about. And again just block her and do not engage. I do not condone harassment of any kind. I am going to go sleep as I finish writing this. This was a tiring experience. She’ll probably continue but now I am satisfied knowing we’re all on the same page.

[shakesthewizard]

Hi please explain about fabianxadaine???

Okay since you asked so nicely here's the fucking thing about Fabadaine

First, some background info

Before we dive in, you should know a couple things. For one, I'm a firm bad kid polycule truther. You could truly pitch me any pairing/grouping of those kiddos and I could find a really ineresting and/or sweet dynamic to eat the drywall about

You should also know that I'm gonna most likely remember some details during this analysis - if you spot them, please let me know by putting them in a bottle and throwing them into the ocean.

Second, some character meta

Adaine O'Shaughnessey is a girl with a lot of courage. It's sort of her defining character trait. The idea of "a wizard with an anxiety disorder" brings to mind someone pretty timid, who's afraid of speaking their mind. But from her first appearance, we see clearly that to Adaine, her disorder is pretty explicitly medical. On her first day of freshman year, she's already talking back to her horrible parents and trying to stand up for herself. Long before she gets access to medication, her disorder hinders her the way an asthma attack might; it has no bearing on her willingness to do the courageous thing.

Relatedly, Adaine thrives under adversity. Not abuse or mistreatment, mind - what I mean is that she likes it when people push back at her a little, so that she has opportunities to test her ideas and opinions against dissent. Look at her dynamic with Aelwyn in season three. Those two bicker and banter; they poke at each other, but it's how they're expressing things like concern or pride.

You could argue, probably well, that this is a product of sisterhood, and a product of their history in particular. But I think there's more to it than that. We see throughout the show that Adaine is a person who cares about exceeding; about learning and growing and achieving great things. It's classic wizard.

Adaine is the child of the wealthy and the important, and that shapes everything about her. It influences her struggles; her abandonment issues in particular. But it also shapes her goals, her values, and her attitudes. She seeks recognition for her skills and her labor, and she wants the people she loves to challenge her so that she can grow and make them proud.

Fabian Seacaster is the son of a famous man and a natural talent. His showmanship is clear and evident from the first moments we see him, and it's reflected in his character build from the start. He's a Champion Fighter, after all.

This showmanship is, frankly, a testament to Lou Wilson's masterful understanding of characters. That single trait can be picked apart to help us understand everything about him.

Fabian is a showman because he was raised as the scion of an up-and-coming house; given every tool he needed to learn his parents' skills, and to prepare him to take the Seacaster name when the time comes.

Fabian is a showman because he believes wholeheartedly in his own greatness. His whole life, he's been surrounded by tutors whose whole job it has been to mold him into the perfect son, and they were paid enough to care about doing it right.

Fabian is a showman because he knows he's earned his own arrogance; wealth or not, pampered lifestyle or not, we see him scold his fencing teacher when he goes easy on him. Fabian isn't blinded by his privilege (or at least not entirely) - he genuinely cares about being the best, and he'll give up the luxury if it means greatness.

Fabian is a showman because he's deeply anxious. Bill and Hallariel clearly love their son, but being the only child of a world-famous pirate, tasked with being their emissary to Solace for future generations, is an unbelievable amount of pressure. Fabian has to be perfect to the world outside. He can't just be good; he can't just be great; he has to be Fabian Aramais Seacaster, Son of the Famous Bill Seacaster!

Fabian is a showman because he has to figure out who he is, somehow. Who is he, outside of his father? He certainly doesn't know, but suddenly he realizes he has to know, for his own sake. So he does what any kid does when they're trying to figure out their identity - they act out.

Finally, what I understand about Fabadaine that nobody else does

Fabian Seacaster and Adaine O'Shaughnessey are the children of the wealthy; the important. They're both second generation Solesians, sent out to represent their families. They're both ambitious people who are trying to achieve great things outside the expectations of their parents. They're both proud and straightforward, prioritizing their values over social niceties.

Adaine and Fabian both carry the swords of their dead fathers.

To put it simply - Fabian and Adaine are really good foils for each other, and I dislike when their dynamic is reduced to classic highschool boyfriend/girlfriend tropes.

As an example, a number of fics I've read have Fabian pursuing Adaine, and that simply doesn't hold up. Let's be honest here - Fabian has terrible taste in women, and has a bad track record of making the more self-destructive choice whenever romance is on the table. I have no doubt he likes Adaine, but he would also know that she'd hold him accountable and challenge him when he makes stupid choices. No, Adaine is the one initiating here.

The thing that really draws me to this pair is because both of them need and want to be challenged, but each of them has a different attitude towards challenging others, and it makes for an active dynamic that can evolve in a lot of interesting ways.

You know what, check back later. I need to write fic about this.

[nico-tines]

genuine question for hatchetfield fans

how do you believe each of the lords in black manifest their powers ??

ill go first

Pokey: This is the most obvious as we know he can actively take over people in hatchetfield/outside of the black and white using blue shit, but i also believe he can cause hallucinations (similar to what Lex experiences in Yellow Jacket at Toy Zone) where he appears as the doll in visions or people start to hallucinate blue shit everywhere around them in the place of blood.

Wiggly: Wiggly appears as the doll and can clearly cause mass hysteria/infatuation with him, but that power seems to not work on everyone (Lex and Hannah are good examples). The way that Wiggly can cause this kind of hysteria is by preying on anyone who deeply feels like they are missing something in their life, so i think his main power is manipulation of those he sees as weak or in need. I also believe he likes to send out his followers (like wilbur) to do his dirty work for him, rather than putting in the effort himself life the capitalist overlord he truly is. He is not actually the most physically powerful of his brothers, but he is the smartest in his manipulation tactics to stay the leader of the group.

Blinky: Blinky either can take over others in a way similar to Pokey without fully taking away their consciousness. Or he is able to send minions outside of the black and white similar to Wiggly. Either way, he will always be the watcher. He doesn’t use his powers as often to create mayhem, but he enjoys watching others suffer and creating drama. His main power manifests through the purple eyes that are always watching in different corners of hatchetfield, but I also believe he can cause overwhelming anger and panic in the people he decided to mess with. He can control the emotions of others to cause chaos that he likes watch. (an explanation of how Bill got so crazy at Blinky’s World)

Tinky: Tinky is difficult to say as his intervention in the only episode that revolves around him is seemingly all in Ted’s head. I think that he is able to create rifts in the time space continuum like Ted’s office, and in those little spaces he has power to worm his way into peoples heads. Giving them hope of the future and then using that to his advantage to take that away. Eventually trapping those he messes with in the bastardards box. He loves breaking people down piece by piece through his time manipulation.

Nibbly: Nibbly is really interesting to me, specifically because he doesn’t seem to affect anyone outside of the day of the Honey Festival. I think he’s entirely fueled by hunger and greed with very little brains or scheming unlike his brothers. But I do like the concept that he can cause a ravaging amount of greed in anyone he wants to possess. Sometimes that’s hunger, sometimes it’s for material possessions or money. His followers seem to be filthy rich, and filled with a hunger for more power. When he feels like messing with someone he causes them to ruin their relationships surrounding them through an uncontrollable greed.

These are mostly just headcanons so let me know what you all think, and if you guys have any other ideas for powers with each of them!

[violetasteracademic]

Hey team! Just saw a great video on tiktok by Nicole MeKeon Author and reposted it there, but wanted to share the info here too because I know while some people enjoy kinda being "in the thick of it all" with the ship wars, there are also people like me who genuinely try to be kind but are deeply sensitive and sometimes get assaulted with the algorithm sending us videos of people saying really mean things about the things or characters we love, or at worst making comments on women's reproductive abilities. As someone who loves Gwyn but has an extremely traumatic medical history that I don't feel I need to share to be respected, I had to block G/wynriel on Tumblr early on. I did not think you could do this on Tiktok, but you can! So just like on Tumblr, you can filter those hashtags and try to create a more positive environment for yourself and wellbeing in an intense fandom!

First, click on your profile and go to Settings and Privacy, then select Content Preferences:

Then select Filter video keywords:

Then add the tags you'd like to filter!

For me, although I am genuinely interested in others opinions and have zero issue with the fact that other ships exist, I've just had to take steps to protect my emotional well being and love for the characters. Filtering these tags actually allow me to keep my love for the characters alive and not get caught up in the bullying that occurs in the ship space. I truly mean no harm!

I hope this share helps you find some more peace if you are like me and the algorithm sometimes assaults you with people who are not always kind when commenting on characters or couples you love. And I know all sides do it! So I hope this helps whoever comes across it!

Hugs to you all. Stay safe out there.

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Going Out

Whether you loved, liked, were neutral, or outright hated today’s Step by Step episode, I want to talk about one of my most favorite (and poignant) moments of today’s episode.

This hand holding scene. 

But, wka, there are so many other scenes for you to focus on! You say. But, wka, there were multiple spicy scenes you need to do body language break down on. But, wka, last week you wrote a 20 page deep dive in to Pat’s psyche. Why are you hyperfixating on this four minute sequence???

BECAUSE THE SOCIAL COMMENTARY TEE AND THE REST OF THE PRODUCTION TEAM IS GIVING HERE IS BEAUTIFUL, BRILLIANT, AND LOWKEY MAKING ME EMOTIONAL GODDAMMIT. 

As someone with strong, deeply rooted beliefs in empathy, in connection, in harm reduction, I can firmly and sincerely say there are people who I consider a part of my community, who I care for deeply, who are my friends who are homeless, who are drug users, or who are homeless drug users. And having worked in harm reduction before let me tell you how truly wonderful and enraging it is to provide people basic services and treat them with basic goddamn dignity and respect and how genuinely surprised, uncertain, or overjoyed my unhoused and/or drug using loved ones are to have someone who actually cares about them. 

SO, I present those pre-emptive thoughts and personal background as proof of concept for what I am about to glean from this whole scene. 

The scene transitions from flirting to community service when Jeng asks Pat if he wants to come with him to give food to the homeless, and I don’t remember this but @bengiyo did but this is something Jeng has been doing since Episode 1, and it shows in the reception Jeng receives when he arrives to this spot under the bridge.

The people who live here know Jeng, the people who live here like Jeng, he comes here often enough that he has established a rapport with their community and it is so so wonderful for me to see this nepo baby raised on rich bitch juice feeling comfortable and at ease with a group of people that society (at least Western society) almost always ignores, belittles, or downright dehumanizes. 

And if I wasn’t already impressed with how Jeng and Step by Step as a whole was handling its portrayal of cultivated relationships with unhoused people, Jeng takes this even further, when he hands the woman the rest of the food bags: 

Now, this is a brief scene and we don’t get a lot of information at all about the people who are living here, but in my mind, or rather the indication I have for this interaction is that Jeng has identified a community pillar, trusts that community member, and is recognizing and valuing the autonomy of the community to distribute the rest of the resources they have been given. 

Most everyone Jeng handed food to wandered off and went about their night, leaving Jeng and Pat alone to sit and talk. Under a bridge. With homeless people nearby. Rather than leave. This is SO IMPORTANT TO ME. It is SO SO SO important to me that Jeng and Pat don’t just show up, hand out food, and immediately return to Jeng’s fancy car to drive back to Jeng’s fancy condo but that they stay and they talk here under the bridge, maintaining a respectful distance since Jeng and the rest of the people in this scene do not appear to have built a strong enough relationship to join them directly, but sharing space nevertheless.

(I will not talk about barriers, I will not talk about barriers, I absolutely, positively will not talk about how Jeng has spent most of the show with a vertical line between him and Pat, and Put spent most of Episode 7 with vertical lines keeping him out of Pat’s world, and now that Pat and Jeng are an item, they are sitting together inside double barriers, boxing themselves in having a discussion on cruelty because they are still in the phase of their relationship where the two of them are in their own little world and hiding from the world at lar... FUCK I talked about the barriers) 

ANYWAY, I absolutely will not talk any more about the barriers and will instead begin my descent into madness in the form of The Proffering of the Hand. 

The build up to this moment starts when Jeng and Pat settle down to talk. They are sitting as close together as they can be without physically touching, they are openly flirting, they are making prolonged eye contact. Basically, they are being very obviously gooey, and the community member who appears to be the closest to Jeng (this is the person who hugged Jeng when he arrived) comes up to him and Pat, and points out the drawing that he made and the similarities he sees between that drawing and the two of them. 

The drawing is two stick figures of an undetermined gender (or if you want to read it this way, of a visually similar build [ie both people have triangle chests and short hair, no obvious breast tissue, no differentiation in color, they their faces are a little different but they are nearly identical] so you could call this a drawing of a same sex couple and it wouldn’t be wildly off-base, especially not with the original artist here telling Jeng and Pat they look like the drawing). For the sake of making me feel even stronger about my love for this scene, lets say this is a drawing of a same sex couple. 

Now the two lines this person says to Jeng and Pat are particularly striking to me: 

“This picture was drawn by me, you look the same” 

“It looks like us.”

Both of these lines are said by the artist. You can interpret that “it looks like us” line however you want to, but baby that’s queer to me. 

The artist walks away, leaving Jeng smiling softly to himself, thinking about it for approximately three seconds and then proffering his hand. 

Now, Jeng and Pat have not…how you say….been particularly careful about maintaining appropriate distances from each other anywhere since they started jumping each other for sport, but the touches they give to each other in the workplace are secret, are hidden. Hands held between them on the computer in a cubicle where no one can see, arms pressed up against each other so they can be mistaken for just being cramped, footsie under the table away from prying eyes. 

Here, now, is the first time since they got together that Jeng overtly, publicly extends a hand to Pat in a move that cannot be mistaken as anything but romantic. Pat is, rightfully all things considered, a little apprehensive. 

“What is it?” he asks “It’s like the picture that he drew,” with a smile and a soft nod to his hand.

Pat’s brow furrows, he looks to his right, where the people they visited are sitting, he looks to the left his eyes scanning for any other potential witnesses. Pat, who has been the person consistently approaching this relationship with the most caution, is initially hesitant to take Jeng’s hand; Is initially hesitant to confirm their relationship to one another with other people around. 

“No, people will see”

“No one will see” Jeng says, and I want to make it clear here that this is not a situation where Jeng is saying that the unhoused folks sitting nearby aren’t people. 

I interpret it more as there is no one around who would be unsafe for us to be visible to. 

Pat takes Jeng’s hand. Right here, out in the open, with people around him, he takes Pat’s hand in his outside of their houses, outside of Jeng’s car, outside. Outside. OUTSIDE. 

So why is this such a monumental occasion for me? 

I feel like I always say this, so eventually I have to make it happen, that I need to familiarize myself more with Thai social issues, because  I don’t know much about Thai homelessness, and which populations of people are disproportionately represented there. So when I saw this scene, the only way I could approach it was with a Western lens. And  I am comfortable running with my thoughts here using that Western lens because Pat references American homelessness in his conversion with Jeng. 

Which means, dear readers…

The first thing that came to mind for me when Jeng and Pat were visibly queer here was the disproportionate rates of homelessness in the queer community in the United States. 

Let me give you some quick (and very unfun) stats about homelessness and queerness in the United States:

40% of homeless youth are queer

Queer youth are 120% more likely to experience homelessness than non-queer youth 

In one survey, researchers found: 

8% of transgender adults surveyed had experienced homelessness in the past 12 months

3% of cisgender queer adults surveyed had experienced homelessness in the past 12 months 

1% of cisgender heterosexual adults surveyed had experienced homelessness in the past 12 months. 

All this to say, that there are close ties between queer people and homelessness. 

And there is something extremely, extremely powerful in Tee and co. recognizing and affirming that queer people can be safer sharing space with homeless people than they might be sharing space with salarymen at a corporate office. 

For a number of reasons, Pat and Jeng cannot come out at the office, even if that closet is glass. In huge part because a boss and subordinate relationship is a gross imbalance of power, but also because homophobia is rampant in that office. We saw it all the way in the beginning of the show, when Pat was asked if he was a top or bottom. We see it now, when Pat is overhearing his colleagues, his coworkers, that spent the beginning of his time at this office exploiting him to do their labor, saying awful, gross, disgusting shit about him and to him. 

“I didn’t think he’d be working on his knees” 

“Lick until you get your bonus”  These are things Pat is seeing, Pat is hearing in this place full of “people contributing to the betterment of society”, people who have stable housing, and cash to spare, and food to eat. People who aren’t looked down upon by society, people who reflect society’s current ideals and mindsets. The other queer people in the office clocked Jeng immediately, but Pat didn’t and neither did any of the straight employees in the office until Pat and Jeng started hanging around

each other more unable to turn off their heart eyes. Because Jeng is in a position of power, he dresses in traditionally professional clothing every day. Collared shirt of mild color, suit, tie, brown loafers. Compare him to Chot or Pat and you can see how Jeng blends in as straight to people who aren’t trained to clock that shit. Look at Jeng when he’s out of the office and hanging out around Pat, he is in denim, he is in white tank tops, he is wearing a chain. Jeng is putting armor on when he goes to the office. Pat and Chot don’t have that luxury. 

And as a result, Pat and Jeng can only be out and open at home. Until now. Until this moment.

Step by Step definitively established in this one scene, in under FOUR MINUTES that Jeng and Pat, two queer men were made to feel comfortable enough and free enough in this place in this space around people who are often villainized, who are often deprived of human rights, people who are often seen as deserving of their poverty and the treatment they get from others as a result, people who are frequently spoken about as being a negative impact on society (WHICH IS BULLSHIT BY THE WAY HOLY FU- *I am forcibly removed from my pedestal*) because queer people are often villainized, deprived of human rights, seen as deserving of the terrible treatment that they get, and are frequently spoken about as being a negative impact on society. 

And considering the statistics on how many homeless youth are queer, there is something to be said for the way the person who appears the youngest, or who at least is acting the youngest, is the person who initiates the interaction that signals to Jeng that they are safe here. That helps Jeng and Pat realize they can engage in a public display of affection here amongst people who understand. 

And that is one hell of a fucking statement to make if I do say so myself. 

Side Note 1: I was already leaning towards this show being a For, By, and About Queers show. This scene solidified that for me. 

Side Note 2: I am thinking about the BL trope of the BL Bridge, I think this was something that @absolutebl wrote about once, but please correct me if I am wrong. If you are new to BL or otherwise unfamiliar with the trope, it is essentially just a repeated theme in multiple BL shows where one of the couples kisses in front of famous bridges in Bangkok. It is notable that in a show like this that is For, By, and About Queers (and boy do I have more thoughts on when and where and how the connection between Jeng and Pat deepens over the last couple episodes in relation to the workplace and homophobia (see @bengiyo’s quick thoughts which will hopefully become bigger thoughts on queer people and corporate culture)) that Jeng and Pat’s first openly public display of affection happens not on the surface, not lit up by bridge lights, not where the whole world can see them. But underneath a bridge, hidden away with the rest of the people that society has shunned, looked down upon, dehumanized, ignored, and failed to support. 

(tagging @neuroticbookworm who is waiting patiently and @waitmyturtles because if I know one person on this website who is gonna add something incredible to a discussion of homelessness in this scene, it's gonna be my bestie.)