#we'll just have to see 😩
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FIT ACQUIRED!!! GOD THAT'S SPOT ON YOU'RE GONNA KILL IT
THANK YOU !!!!!! I'M SO STOKED TO WEAR IT
#snap chats#the con im going to (animenyc) isn't until november so i have a lot of time to do touch ups and just general adjusting#im tryin to see if i can find my old flip phone since it was Also red but im also debating gettin a prop gun#i already have that hijikata cologne too so... hehe.. just for Extra Unnecessary Details like the belt#MY FRIEND WAS SHOCKED I GOT THE SHOES BUT SHE WAS ALSO LIKE 'you got his clown shoes 😭' LIKE /PLEASE/ LVKAERJ#but yeah very excited :) four months away oh god that doesnt sound close but it also doesnt sound far#if im a brave boy ill post pics. or someone else will idk is anyone ??? else planning to go ????#ik months back when i was first talking about making a mine cosplay someone was stoked and said they were also going...#we'll just have to see 😩
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Look I'm not really into pet play but I was looking very hard at all the shirtless chubby dudes in puppy masks and harnesses at pride like FUCK they looked so good 😩
#i went to the pride parade yesterday and it was a lot of fun!!!!!#and i got sunburnt but it was worth it lmao#anyways#im probably bisexual#i was LOOKING at the shirtless dudes in harnesses 😩#there was also a shirtless cowboy in assless chaps which was fun lmao#and i got sprayed with a water gun from someone on a float which was also very nice n fun!#i would def do it again next time even if i have to go alone im going again no matter what!!!#and hopefully i will be able to dress hotter n sexier bc i felt a little out of place at the festival 💀💀#but we'll just have to wait n see until then <3
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psychiatrist: do you really think you have treatment resistant depression?
me looking at her with my 13 years of suicide ideation, over 10 types of medications tried, and 6 years of trying multiple types of therapy:
#yeah i think so#she's doing her best i think she just wanted to make sure I'm serious abt my request#anyway. she upped my dosage for now and sent an email to someone who can check where i might be able to get ketamine therapy#so ig we'll see how that goes.#guys i will not lie . i am doing very bad i do NOT want to wake up tomorrow i mostly want to off myself 🫡#but ig this is why I'm looking into another type of treatment huh (therapy was the wrong word there but I'm too lazy to retype the tags)#i don't have a lot of hope tho. bc currently it seems my only option is the one that has a lesser success rate 😐#I'm too fat for the better one 😩 yay#sorry for the pessimism and negativity i am unfortunately not feeling well. as usual. w/e I'll find a distraction or smth 😐#vent#negative //#suicide mention //#ask to tag
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random but when i see previews of miguel fanart here and they happen to be in black n white i get so excited thinkin im gonna stumble on some amazing venom art again only to be disappointed that its... its just miguel 😔
#mine#dont get me wrong#miguel is cool and all buuttt#i was hoping those spider markings belonged to my beloved eddie brock or even perhaps a flash thompson 😔#like WHY does miguel's spider pattern resemble smthn venom would have thooo?! 😩#it really looks venom-ish!! fr! sigh#whatever#maybe once venom 3 comes out we'll see more ppl making venom art again#guess ill have to wait and see#i just bought some markers also so maybe i can doodle some venoms just like the ol days.....
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Even if you don't plan on stay around it's good to see you're doing ok, I was worried
It is GOOD to see you too man I'm sorry for worrying u 🙏 I missed y'all fr
#asks#latenitewaffles#koopa bro#it IS GOOD TO SEE U TOO MAN!! WHAT A TIME TO BE BACK#yall i did not mean to leave for what like 6 months 😭#im glad i did ill be honest very good for the mental health#went on a journey to heal and almsot failed college though 💀 we'll see for definitely in two weeks? i think?#and then im off on my job 🫡 moving out and everything scary stuff#BUT YEAH HOW ARE U!!!!#hope you dont mind me answering this publicly#but it has been a minute damn#i don't know what im doing with regards to this blog tbh 😩 im just gonna chill and see how it goes#id like to use it more ideally because i really did miss it and i missed talking about hcs and ocs and what have u#but i dont wanna overdo it you know#we'll see what happens yolo after all 🫡#idk did i mention it in the other tags but i saw rhe messages you guys left in my inbox and thank u 🙏#very sweet of yall#but that is enough of me rambling LMAO goodnight p3 remake wild af#we're not getting p6 anytime soon though thats for sure 💀💀💀
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The 'I can't do anything now because I have an appointment later' frustration is a mood, but pales in comparison to 'I can't do anything because I'm waiting for someone to stop by at any moment'
#kee speaks#some of my mom's parcels are at my place and they're in town doing other stuff#and mom said 'we'll be by in a while' and it's been over 3 hours now#i have their locations on google maps so i can see that they're just on the other side of the block at the store#but I'm just 😩😩😩#i want/need to shower and i want to go downstairs and cuddle into my couch but I can't! cause what if they're here 30 seconds after i do!
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It's September 1st, you know what that means!
Me on my way to make an overly ambitious Victober TBR and then not wait until October to start reading the books so I spend two months reading Victorian literature instead of just one
#i just love victorian shit im so sorry for having good taste 😩#my annual Pickwick read is gonna start Today tho and probably will get finished before October so im not counting it for that#but still. we have Gaskell on deck. Amy Levy. Anthony Trollope. maybe even Oscar Wilde maybe.#i want to read some more short work so stories and plays etc but we'll see#every year i run out of steam by mid October but its bc i start getting hyped in September 💀#disgruntled octopus
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Ofc today when I finally planned on seeing mean girls the earliest showing isnt until after noon 😩
Guess I'll see madame web then 🤷♀️
#marquilla#i wanted to find a 10:45ish show bc i just got out of an hour phone meeting and this way im only waiting like half an hour ish instead of#having to sit and play on my phone for nearly two hours like usual but nooo mean girls isnt until 2pm#i like early morning shows bc it's like empty empty sgdggdgd i might sit mid theater though just to try it today so wish me luck 😜#idk if ill like this movie but the trailers looked cool and i like spider themed heros (spidermaaaan) so 🤷♀️ we'll try it and see maybe#ill like it idk sggdgdgd#im hoping they dont show a trailer for imaginary but i know they will 😩 girl help me i hate that fucking bear#the jumpscares get me every goddamn time 😩 hate it#and yes i DID just go to the movies Tuesday what ab it#but really that was only $6 for a showing and today i have my monthly movie credit so 🤙 might get popcorn idk it depends how#hungry i am bc i AM cheap... even with my discount it's like $6 for a small popcorn and $5 for a small icee 😭 come oooon
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however.. it's not just blorbo thoughts that haunt me with that song... it's teacher thoughts too! 🤯
#for the past few months I've been going back and forth about whether i want to teach middle or high school#and this is nowhere near a deciding factor#BUT... consider the following with me.. performing one version as a mass piece at the beginning of the year with the full choir and then.#🤌🏻#at the end of the year doing the other with just the seniors because they have become the old man who will never again pass this way 😭#i feel like dickau's would be better as a mass piece because of it's more relaxed rhythms. the chords sound fuller than macdonald's which#would probably sound nicer with all hands on deck! and then macdonald's more rhythmically challenging arrangement would be cool for the#seniors 😁 but this is to my untrained and pretty rusty ear so 🕴️ we'll see how i feel when i go back to school#another idea I've entertained is giving each class a like. Challenge Song their freshman year and recording it‚ then reprising it their#senior year and letting them compare their performances to reflect their growth as musicians.. i think that would be really cool :]#i dont think i could conduct the bridge builder with that in mind though.. id start crying lol! but i think it is fundamental as a choir#student to watch your director cry in the middle of a song+ continue on as if nothing was happening#but anyhow idk man.. the idea of working with high schoolers to really build up their musicality and prepare them for the world is very#appealing to me but you can't be a musician without the foundations which i could establish in middle school#and foundations are very fun to teach as well!! but foundations can be taught in a beginning choir course or during summer camp#so 😩#the music i want to direct is all satb which suits high school better. but is it selfish to choose which way to go based on what music you#like? 🕴️🕴️ the contemplations man.... anyhow i have a lot more growing and learning and Studying to do before this will even matter#can't prepare kids for the world when I've scarcely explored it myself!#sriracha.txt
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what's also great about the ichi watch is that the gold and red goes well with the arakawa-inspo outfit i have..
#snap chats#aka the outfit im wearing right now BYE#its so funny that i have really accidentally stolen his clothes. like idk what to tell you#owning a grey suit and a three-piece black suit's commonplace i really did just need the shirt LMAO#did eventually find a scarf buried in my closet so i even have that on lock down 😩 perfect for fall ig LOL#POINT IS i do have that gold bracelet plus the gold-buckled belt but also the red shoes.. that i and everyone around me love..#its perfect goku idk what else you want from me.. was meant to be even#what I want tho is food but i dont have time to make rice and im going out to eat in the city after class anyway#anyway love how i know im gonna preorder it but i havent yet because I Dont Know i like waiting until the last second i guess#ive reasoned with myself only to get the watch since as cute as the bag and wallet are#the wallet i have now is perfectly fine- plus my sister gave it to me. and i dont need a bag enough to warrant getting it#love how i never even considered the jacket LMAO LIKE ITS A CUTE JACKET just.. not $200 cute..#that's what my puffer is tho.. dont tell anyone--#ANYWAY YEAH <3 once i get the ichi watch i can stop wearing this bitch ass cringe ass watch my mom gave me#i just hope changing the battery in the watch wont be a pain down the line cause i dont think its solar powered WHOOP..#it'll be worth it to me.... ok bye im gonna stare at the wall until i have to leave for class#i have all my commission stuff done for now and i wanna rest from drawing for the rest of the day. maybe.#might stream tonight but i also might be drunk LMAO we'll see#if i stream uhhhhhh dude i dont even know.... funny y3 stream ???? drawing stream ????#we'll see what happens anyway BYE
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// talking with @kindan-no-kanojo , i am thinking more and more again about the insanity of Ryuuto's Young Blood. I really wanna draw a whole comic like rejet did but,,, no promises as of yet ><
#(( i just wanna draw a gorey young ryuuto finally snapping and chompin down on some ghoul :c#(( maybe it would be a shorter manga??#(( or would be in script form like a route??#(( but i already have three pages of it done from back in like march SKSKS#(( but i dont like them 😩 so we'll see.#(( i might need to draw it all out traditionally to invision it in a storyboard then transfer and fix up on my phone ;-;#admin
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I LIVED BITCH
#i got resurrected just to come on here and complain about my thesis. hi#I'm also having a crisis regarding my degree#the urge to go into physics is 😩#we'll see if i even finish this degree🥴
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you wish you were me
#s.txt#TEN THOUSAND WORDS BABYYYYYY#man shits just fucking flying out of me. having the time of my life baby#my distant goal is to hit 30k words total#maybe more. we'll have to see how much i can add when it edit.#i'm like...a little under halfway rn#so its 😩 i gotta start adding about four words per word#but i also started outlining the NEXT story so. never gonna stop baby.#knight story i love youuuuuuuuuuu#and i'm still only in the ''backstory'' era. once i get to the main story lesbians its all over for you hoes
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.
#okey I've decided i do not have a crush; I'm just excited about becoming friends with her#yeap#I'm hanging out with her tomorrow and Wednesday tho so we'll see if smth changes i guess🤡#i do gotta admit i was very nervous about asking her to go to the movies even tho that's smth i do with my friends all the time 😭😭#but I think i was just nervous that she'd say no and then it'd be embarrassing for me🥲#i feel like a friend rejection would hurt me more than a crush rejection fr😩😩
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you got me feeling like a cuck waiting for your next sex pictures 😭 you’re too hot
Hehe good 😌
#just how i like em#i have some i wanna post but there's just no way they stay up 😩#so we'll see#also ty i do be looking good#ask#anon#p
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was gonna buy myself something ive had in my etsy faves for a while as a lil gift to myself & to cheer me up, but i just hear my conscious echo "material possessions wont fill the hole in your heart" so now im bummed out
#i should still. but i know it wont make me any less emotionally strained#i deserve it. ive been living in survival mode for weeks now#but its just gonna be an empty gesture because i know after a few days the novelty will wear off with nothing in its place. idk#maybe my gift to myself should be a commission? ive only purchased one before and it was like 8 years ago#i deserve some beautiful art of my blorbos that i didnt have to create. but the thought of asking someone to draw my ocs is akfjlfjksjas#i feel the cringe embarrassment already 😩😭😖🤡#maybe i will. we'll see#emma rambles#personal
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