#weasel diana

[themyscirah]

This is technically a Diana's age poll but I framed it partially around Julia's rescue because that's the event I need to contextualize and whether or not Diana is a thing yet is p important for my purposes. I would keep the Pérez run and postcrisis continuity in mind when answering this bc that's when this is relevant but I'd keep in mind that even though Diana is very young there (like early 20s) we don't know I don't think if she ages differently as a child (esp as a themysciran AND being made from clay) and in some versions she is older than she looks and was made earlier

Edit: I accidentally logic-ed this out in the tags lol 🤦‍♀️but feel free to still vote however you want. Going to publish this anyway bc I think I made some good points later in my tags

[hannahchronism]

me noticing several older brother younger sister duos in my writing all of a sudden

[britneyshakespeare]

It is all painfully coming together

[cordeliawhohung]

the prowl - single dad! Price x teacher! stripper! Reader (fem) taglist

[7] intended plurals

cw: minor mentions of masturbation

You stare at the slip of paper in your hands and you feel your stomach plummet through the floor. 

All murmuring conversations around you fade into white noise. Every childish giggle and the scrape of chairs along the freshly lacquered floor. You read off the carefully scrawled out numbers before you. The paper is hastily torn. Printer paper shredded for a quick note to be doused with rich dark ink. It swirls and cuts in sharp corners and dashes. A moment of disbelief settles over you before you’re able to swallow down the fact you’re staring at John Price’s number. 

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes, voice low and hushed. “I know it’s a tall order, but it would settle my mind a little. We’ve never been apart so long before. Call me an overbearing parent, if you want.” 

Setting the paper face down on your desk, you carefully push yourself to your feet. Your eyes glance over to Amelia’s desk where she’s busy fetching last week’s homework from her dinosaur bag. You notice there’s a new charm on the zipper — a stegosaurus with comically large googly eyes. Her movements are slower than usual. Heavy lethargy pulls at her body as she sorts her items. When she turns, you see the irritation rimming her eyes. The crystalline blue hue of her iris looks nearly translucent by comparison. 

“How long will you be gone?” you question, turning your attention back to John. 

“Only a week,” he assures. “Normally I can weasel my way out of these sorts of conferences but didn’t get so lucky this time. She’ll be staying with Diana, of course, but she’s not… the most talkative with me. Don’t want to irritate her by just trying to get information about my kid.” 

“She doesn’t tell you about Amelia at all while she’s watching her?” you ask, baffled. 

“Only the important things. Pictures and daily updates aren’t on that list, unfortunately.” 

Nodding, you allow your brain to soak in the information John’s tossed your way. A phone number. A trip. His daughter. Your student. It’s a simple task. Inconsequential. It isn’t wholly uncommon for teachers and parents to exchange numbers. Oftentimes it’s easier to communicate over text than in what little office time you have. Yet, this feels different. Wrong. It’s wrong because you still think about running into him at the tea shop the other week. You can recall his wet clothes clinging to his chest, and how you touched yourself to that very image later that night with shame broiling deep in your stomach. 

Could you keep your fingers off your phone long enough — off your cunt long enough — that it would be professional? Healthy? Can you fully separate the John standing in front of you now and the John whose side you once curled up against? Whose sent you bathed in? 

“It’s a tall order, and I know I’m askin’ a lot of you already…” he continues. 

“No, not at all,” you cut him off. “It’s not a problem. I couldn’t imagine having to be away and not get to talk with your own child.” 

“You’re sure?” he asks. “I don’t want you to feel obligated to do me any favors.”

Shaking your head, you smile. “It’s fine, John.”

A huff escapes with the chuckle he gives you. He looks different today, you realize, than all the other times you’ve spoken with him. His hair is more mussed than normal, and the lack of his usual business casual attire isn’t lost on you. A plain charcoal grey t-shirt fits snug and close to his torso, and you try not to stare at the thick hair that decorates his arms. His shoulders are… big. Bigger than the dress shirts he normally dons would have you believe. Dense and wide enough to get lost in. 

“Daddy?” 

Both you and John turn to find Amelia anxiously pulling at her skirt. Moisture brims so heavily in her eyes you’re surprised they haven’t spilled over yet. You’re reminded of that day she tripped on the playground with shredded knees and fat tears rolling down her cheeks. Now, the scabs have healed and you can’t even make out the scars. Amelia Price is stubborn. She refuses to cry the same way she did that day, no matter how much the pressure builds behind her eyes. 

“Are you leaving now?” she asks, bottom lip trembling. 

“I’ll be back before you know it, pumpkin,” he promises. John sinks down to kneel in front of Amelia. She looks puny next to him. Doting hands straighten out her uniform, attempting to undo the anxious wrinkling going on in her skirt as the fabric is clutched between her fists. “Granny’ll take good care of you.” 

Their farewell is tearful and long. Long enough that your other students begin to whisper and stare, so you attempt to control the damage before it fully starts. John embraces her. Lifts her small frame into the air to hug her tightly as he cradles her head like it’s the last time he’ll ever see her. All eyes are on you by the time they’re finished sending one another off, and no questions are asked as Amelia returns to her seat. John leaves the room with a tight lipped smile and a wave to you. You refuse to let your eyes linger on the wet patch on his shoulder. 

For the rest of the day, Amelia seems to be merely a shell of the girl you had grown to know. Despondent and quiet, she hardly participates in any of the activities you’ve prepared for the day. Her curious mind seems just as silent as she is. She does not raise her hand in question or quirk her head in curiosity throughout any of your activities. That vivacious girl is hardly present at all. Stuck in her mind. Thinking about nothing but her father and how much she wishes he was home. 

You try to rekindle that spark inside of her. Feed it all the fuel it could ever dream of consuming with engaging stories and silly voices. Nothing rouses her. Even the coloring project you have them do for their English time fails to bring a smile to her face. Her usual love for art has dissipated into dust just like everything else she ever seemed to enjoy. She sits, curved forward over her coloring page as she lazily draws inside of the lines with peeling, cracked crayons. 

“Wonderful job, Amelia,” you croon, kneeling in front of her desk. 

Your praise hardly stirs a response from her other than a sheepish smile that quickly fades into a quivering lip. All your students have good and bad days. Children her age aren’t exactly known for their emotional maturity, but she’s downright pitiful like this. Like a wounded animal. 

Tapping your fingers on her desk, you quietly grab her attention before you lean closer to whisper. “When you’re finished, why don’t you let me take a picture? I’ll send it to your dad.” 

For the first time that day, Amelia’s eyes illuminate with something other than tears. Mouth agape and crayon still firmly in hand, she stares up at you, dumbfounded. 

“Really?” she asks. 

You grin. “Really. Take your time, and come find me when you’re finished, okay?” 

She grins back. “Okay!” 

When Amelia finishes her coloring, she demands to be in the picture you send to her father. She holds the paper out like it’s a work of fine art. Something she’s slaved over for months. A toothy grin graces her lips as she tilts her head to the side in the way little kids always seem to do. She giggles profusely when you show her the picture, and you quickly text it off to the number John gave you before the next lesson starts. 

Amelia is quite the artist today!

It takes him some time to respond. You can already imagine him, half awake, head held up by the tips of his fingers as he sits in some meeting too far from home. Maybe he’s slouching like he did that night at the club. Legs spread far and wide, head tilting to the side as he listens to whoever’s speaking. You wonder if he’ll visit you — visit Saffron — again when he returns home; his way to unwind after a long trip. It’s been a while since you — Saffron — last saw him. 

Your thoughts are mercifully interrupted with the quiet buzzing of your phone. 

Glad to see her smiling again. Thank you.

Once Amelia’s learned you’re her new, unimpeded access to her father, she’s consistently requesting you to send pictures and messages to John. You can see the way she holds herself back. Quietly separating the important stuff she wants to tell him now, from the stuff she’ll tell him herself when he gets home. Still, nothing matches the way her cheeks get rosy and her lips pull into a grin when you read off a response from him during what little down time the kids have between lessons. It’s simple enough, and John is polite in his responses. Professional. Proper. 

This is a respectable relationship to hold with a parent. 

You have to keep that mantra in your head lest it degrade into something terrible. 

On Friday, Amelia arrives to class, beaming. She doesn’t greet you like she usually does, but every time you look at her while lecturing or reading, she’s grinning. She’s held that expression so long you’re certain her face is going to freeze that way. Forever joyous. Patiently waiting for… something. 

It isn’t until their first recess that you’re able to sniff out the reason for her behavior. Her hair is different. Adorable. Long, inky locks are half pulled up into strands that gently swirl down her back. A fat, puffy bow adorns her hair, keeping the strands of her hairdo together. It’s a pristine white, but you can see small designs that you can’t quite discern from a distance. You watch it bob and bounce as you lead them outside into the dwindling summer heat.

Before she has the chance to run off and join her friends on the playground, you catch her attention. “That’s a pretty bow, Amelia. Is that new?” 

Giggles burst free from her lips as she sways back and forth. They’re sharp and shrill, as if she’s been holding them in all day. Blue fabric swirls around her knees as she moves, nearly buzzing inside of her own skin. 

“Granny bought it last night. I saw it, and wanted it because it reminds me of your dresses!” she explains, eyeing your clothing. 

Now that she’s closer, you’re able to make out the pattern. Little lollipops and hard candies adorn the white fabric, giving the appearance that it’s polka dotted. You have a dress that’s eerily similar in patterning to it hanging up in your closet at home. Today, you’re wearing daisies and moons — doesn’t quite match, yet her enthusiasm is touching all the same. 

“That’s so sweet of you. It looks beautiful on you.” 

“Can we take a picture? For papa?” she asks. 

Refusing to deny her request, you sneakily fish your phone out from the pocket of your dress to open the camera. You attempt to get her to pose — big smile! — but she only looks at you with pinched brows. 

“No, you have to be in it, too,” she insists. 

“Do I?” you challenge. 

“He has to see that we’re matching!” 

Hesitant, you bite into your bottom lip. Sending pictures of Amelia to John is something you have no gripe with. It’s his daughter — after all — but a picture of you? It unsettles your stomach. Disrupts the bile and has the muscle angrily churning in protest. In want. Just as you open your mouth to make up an excuse, or explain that it’s not proper, you lose the will. When she stares at you with eyes so wide and hopeful, you find it difficult to deny her anything. 

“Alright well… maybe a video will be easier,” you give in. 

Propping up your phone on a nearby bench, you let Amelia take the lead. You’re awkwardly in frame behind her, hands politely folded in front of you as she rattles off her story. She makes a show of displaying her new bow, and telling the camera all about how her grandma got it for her. How it reminds her of you. When she’s finished, she does a cute, clumsy spin to show it off properly before she looks at you expectantly. 

“Okay. Spin,” she directs, swirling her finger at you as if it were a wand. 

Chuckling, you follow her command with stiff, awkward limbs. You try not to be too showy. Too much. Too anything. Luckily, your lackluster performance satiates Amelia long enough for you to walk back up to your phone and cut the recording. You send her off to play with her friends before her break is used up and wasted talking to you. The video is already sent John’s way before she even reaches the top of the slides. 

For the rest of the day, you try your best not to look at your phone. It’s not a difficult task to accomplish. Children this age need a lot of attention and looking after. Besides, you have a job to do, and talking with John Price isn’t on the agenda. You spend your time reading stories, instructing writing, and leading projects. By the time all your students are gone and off enjoying the weekend with their parents, you’re tired to the marrow. Fatigue seeps into every cell in your bones, webbing cracks into the structures until you can do nothing but sit and rot in your chair as you grade easy assignments with a red pen and stickers. 

You’re yanked out of your thoughts the moment your phone vibrates against your thigh. Allowing yourself a quick mental break, you pull it free and unlock it to find the preview of the video you sent John staring back at you, along with his response. 

My girls.

You can’t stop staring at it. Those two words. One of them is certainly a mistake. Girls. Girls. Plural. More than one. More than one and his. His girls. It’s a typo. An error. It should be singular. Girl. His girl. His daughter. Nothing to do with you. You’re not his. Nothing of his. 

The words seep into your brain. They take purchase in the raw, messy parts of you where they feed off the sparse nutrients lurking in your grey matter. The worst desires you try not to crave. As you read the words again, you hear them in his voice. Low and deep. Quiet. Tired. As if you’re pressed against his side again attempting to keep his mind off a long day. It ruins you. Shreds apart the most delicate parts of your skin until all of you is an open wound begging to be saved. To be kissed. To be loved. 

The screen goes black and you slam it face down on your desk. It’s a typo. That’s all it is. And still your heart pounds in your throat as if to choke you and put you out of your misery. 

A pitiful squeak leaves the chair as you stand. Every ounce of blood in your body rushes to your core. You feel it pool in your face, ears, and chest, leaving you with clammy hands and colder feet. Everything within you is telling you to run. To flee. So you do. You shove your phone back into your pocket with no intention of responding to him, and you leave with your bag hastily thrown over your shoulder. 

“Goddammit,” you mutter. 

You can run, but the damage is already done. John’s in your classroom in the form of a scented note. He’s in your phone as pixelated replies to your messages. And now, finally, he is in your head. He’s in your head, lurking in the form of knowing smiles and deep baritone, and you don’t think you’ll be lucky enough to shake him off any time soon.

[duckysprouts]

diana views men the way humans view baby weasels

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

I do wonder where Harry got the ‘co-reigning’ thing in his head, his goto approach is to weasel round those who he can charm to get what he wants. There is no way The Queen or now the King would have pandered to his unreasonable wishes, but both of them don’t like confrontation and through family love wouldn’t have totally squashed his ramblings or worse case ignored it and he would have taken that as viable. Plus he does/did believe the most popular royal other than the Queen’ stuff and probably still does or thinks it’s retrievable. When MM came on the scene we have the ‘you do the UK’ and we will take the commonwealth (re the commonwealth flowers veil) , and the idea of sharing the Duchy of Cornwall money. To any normal person it’s completely pie in the sky, but with these two such a high level arrogance/self esteem and people not ever really saying no to either of them has created a utopian ‘fair world’ where everything is ‘equal’ and they get what they want eventually.

Ancedotally it's because of Diana. She insisted on raising William and Harry equally, which the BRF (largely the Queen Mother) opposed. So because of that, any opportunity William received, Harry also received. Which, fair, makes sense. Two kids, send them to the same places, make life easy for yourself, right? Especially if you're separated/divorced from your partner, treating the boys as a single unit/a pair made it easier to track custody and other arrangements.

Then when Diana died, Charles probably figured it was easier to keep William and Harry together so they could help each other through their grief and shared trauma. (And also Charles most likely had his own trauma from Gordonstoun that made him unable to see how terribly misfitted Harry was at Eton, which most likely played a part in it too.) And that became the new royal brand: "Diana's boys, William and Harry." So much so that when Charles began to develop the vision for his monarchy, it was "William and Harry and their wives."

Now granted, it's hard to plan roles for people who don't yet exist, but the wives never needed to exist for the plan to work. All Charles and the BRF needed to do was say "William and his wife and Harry and his wife." Instead, their scheme was a scheme of three: William, Harry, and Wives - copying the scheme of Charles, Andrew, and Diana+Sarah.

So essentially, Harry grew up and spent his formative years being treated as equal to William. Then when William married Kate, they became "We Three" (or whatever cutesy little nickname you like) instead of spinning William and Kate off to do their own thing, which paved the way to Fab Four and Harry's rude awakening that "no, actually, you're not equal to William, you're not even William's consort, no matter how hard you try."

The what-if of it all is what would've happened if Diana hadn't died in 1997. Diana understood, fundamentally, that the boys had different futures because she always talked about William being King. She may have wanted them to have the same childhoods so the self-esteem issues and the insecurity Diana felt growing up weren't likely to happen for Harry. But at what age would she have encouraged Harry to make his own path and go his own way from William?

[5five5five5five5five5five]

please old man/bookclub five headcanons, I loved ur last post about him!

hope you're feeling okay :]

Gasp!

I'm going to assume normal bookclub bc idk what s4 "bookclub" is. But I can totally ramble off about him in a casual club for books.

*he reads the books too fast and gets more peeved at the others who end up going very very slow. If someone doesn't finish a book, he admittly makes a comment "why are you in a book club if you can't finish a book is beyond me but-" old man shrug. It's not a fight worth having, he's just being a dick.

* brings the members strawberries and other fresh produce when he can. He likes showing off the stuff he grows and brings snacks.

*gets REALLY into the books. It's like he gets a micro fandom to be in every month. He reads it though like 3 times and then listens to the audio book once. Looks up if there's anything else. Maybe even discovers fanfiction...but he tries not to get that desperate.....he's read a few for particularly addictive books.

*has given a huge ramble about how the Great Gatsby would have been better and a lot of stuff settled if Gatsby and caraway kissed. He does it so casually too like he's not trying to make a progressive point or spark bigger queer discussion. He just genuinely thinks that's the answer to the book. More man kissing.

* speaking of, the more queer books they end up reading, the more he questions his everything. He probably has gone up to Viktor about stuff in these books and try to weasel out a "no it's not like that. Your totally a normal cishet man five." but neh it's ALWAYS "yeah that seems very realistic to the queer existence. Why so curious?" And he ends up not being able to admit he connects with said books. Viktor knows but he's not going to hound his brother any time soon. Five knows once he leaves the closet,there's people waiting to be supportive.

*the old ladies there can't stop babying him. He tries very hard to be as old man and as mature as he can but they don't listen and pinch his cheeks and pat his head. He is trying to do less sudden grandma wrist breaking to he takes it for the most part. They can be wrong. He will keep doing what he does. And he hates to admit the attention from women in his age range is nice. Sad he can't make any moves.

* for the holidays the bookclub goes caroling. Five isn't a fan but tags along. They most likely end up at one of his siblings houses and he gets cold feet. They can't see him in a dorky sweater and singing. Last Christmas he threw a fit about sweaters. But if he doesn't move, the club will leave him in the snow. Ruthless old farts.

Allison answers the door. Around 5 old people, 4 local parents and......five??? They stare daggers at eachother as five poorly sings oh holy night with the group. Then leaves. The other members noticed the tension but didn't want to say much.

*Lila tried to join once to get 'in' with the parents that are involved but was so booooored. "Five, no one should be having this much fun talking this much about a book. Period. Im almost concerned that you have finally gone senial."

*if five didn't like a book, he makes a PowerPoint on why and how. He is very detailed in his opinions. He wishes the others would do the same but no body can match his freak.

*he brings mr. Pennycrumb with him bc service dog and everyone there loves him.

* I think everyone assumes five is just a very lonely mentally or physically ill young man and try there best to be nice. He isn't fond of there borderline pity but he enjoys there company none the less.

* Diana from the PTA makes the best lemon cookies. Five eats more than he should.

*on top of book club, they like to take outings together to walk around and see the community. Do easy elderly friendly geocashes and eat at local cafes. Five likes when they go to the library because then they can snoop around for more books.

I hope you like these :3

[roaenexists]

But anyway, before I got distracted by my last post.

Hekate.

I wanted to share some things I've learned about Her.

1) She is The Unseen Witness. This is an epithet I personally have given Her, but which derives from Her role as Persephone's savior and guide to and from the underworld.

2) She's pre-Greek. Anatolian, actually. That's how I personally like my deities—from a localized cult but so powerful they got picked up by a nearby pantheon (Diana is another example of this).

3) She's a goddess that was traditionally worshiped not in temples, but at homes. In my personal experience, She has a LOT of presence in apartments and shelters (especially shelters), as they are inherently liminal living situations.

4) She presides over Dogs and Polecats (like a weasel or ferret) and Horses, so I view Her as a goddess with dominion over all domesticated pets.

5) Hekate faces the three directions the roads lead at a Y- or T-junction, so in my personal practice I understand The Horned God to stand at Hekate's back and watch The Wild Way for Her. On my altar I have my representation of The Horned God facing away from me. Hekate did call me a sneak for that one, though, so YMMV.

6) I get the vibe she doesn't like to share altar space so she'll be getting a bookshelf of her own soon. You can use keys, the triple moon, and various momento mori (like bones, or the charm I made with a sprig of dead rosemary and a beetle carcass) to represent her in an altar space.

7) Herbs and Plants: Garlic, Yew, Mandrake, Dandelion, Belladonna, Cyclamen, Hemlock, Mint, Oak, Date Palms, Willow, Wolf's Bane. You'll notice many plants in her domain are poisonous or otherwise baneful. To this extent, she presides over all baneful plants.

8) She basically requires you to prioritize self-improvement and learning. Therapy and working out and reading and journaling can all be devoted to Her.

9) UPG but I also associate Her with mushrooms, moths, foxes, and rose thorns. She is carrion birds and the rust that eats at iron. She is the dark side of the moon and She likes it that way.

[anonymoushouseplantfan]

My tinhat theory is that Harry is infact going to shift base to UK in the coming year, at least part time. From there he will weasel his way into family gatherings, holidays and dinner parties - Christmas, Easter service, shooting weekends, papped with old aristo friends at their bardyard "rave" fests etc.

This will go in for a year or so. All of his sightings at anything private family gathering related will always be "rumoured", grainy pics will surface, no one will officially comment. This will be Harry's PR initially.

Harry will behave and stay quiet. He will do his own private charity work. Go to Africa, save elephants, save rhinos, build a school, be photographed with little kids... He will do all this but give no interviews. Then the palace PR will kick in after a year or so.

Some will call it the annual review. Public sentiment will have slowly shifted in Harry's favour. The mainstream media will then talk about how harry seems to have changed back to his old self, but more mature, almost sorry, trying to make up for everything he did while he was in Meghan's clutches. We will get a few newsroom debates about this.

Harry and palace will still stay quiet. And then out of the blue we will see him walking by the king's side, or more strategically by Williams side, during the private Christmas service. Or appear at Diana awards or a gala or the races.

The palace will issue a statement saying he is just there as a member of the close family, it's not an official appearance, no taxpayer money is going into his coffers etc etc. Something like what the queen did for Andrew.

His come back will be slow, very subtle but steady. The precedent has been set by the queen and Andy.

The King's logic might be that it's better to keep the enemy close and mildly satisfied.

From a PR point of view it could be implemented, if excexutedcally and patiently it may even succeed. From a public sentiment point of view or a national security, or a moral standpoint it is dicey and not advisable and extremely unpalatable. So a lot depends on how long Charles stays the monarch.

If Harry is smart he will do this while his dad is still around. It might just be the reason the separation got intiated in the first place, by Harry, as soon as the queen passed.

Once the queen was gone, Harry had a lightbulb moment and realized what side his bread needed to be buttered. He started pivoting with the spare interviews, trying to take back the accusations he had made.

The scenario you propose is exactly how I thought it would go after the divorce. I was sure they would take him back and rehabilitate him successfully.

But then I read his book and realized that Harry’s completely nuts. He is literally consumed with envy and resentment. Every page is dripping with jealousy and bitterness.

This means they can’t rehabilitate him. Any effective rehabilitation would require a narrative leading to a pledge of loyalty and fealty to Charles and Will, the monarchs he would have to serve for the rest of his life. The rehabilitation will not work without that. He has to serve the Crown.

And he is incapable of doing that. He is too consumed with envy and bitterness, and those feelings are clearly not due to Meghan’s influence. They have been there since his childhood. PR can do a lot and royal PR is extremely convincing. However, they need something they can work with. Harry has destroyed any chance he had at rehabilitation.

[madcatdaderpydrawer-blog]

Underfell Souls dealing with my Voidtulouched Souls…in their animalistic forms.

Harland with a massive centipede creature. Colton and the harpy owl that won’t stop being a little shit.

Immy and the very silent and patient kamaitachi weasel.

Felix having to deal with a DRAGON.

Diana and the large anglerfish mermaid that may or may not

Oh and Isaac has to deal with the werewolf! And if any of the Voidtouched Souls manage to attack their souls, they’ll also get infected and it gets Worse.™️

Isaac just wants to put them all in one room. They don’t know if whatever this is is contagious and Isaac doesn’t want to risk it.

[catindabag]

TBOSAS on Crack short take (37)

Dr.Gaul: Hippity Hoppity! Welcome back to my precious laboratory.☺️🔪

Coryo: *Raises hand* Dr.Gaul, do we really need to end everything with a rhyme? I mean-

Dr.Gaul: Shut up, orphan. I’m in my zone. So put your hand down before I shoot you with a drone.

Sejanus: *Raises hand* Dr.Gaul, can I-

Dr.Gaul: You’re allowed to skip my class, Mr. Plinth.

Sejanus: But-

Dr.Gaul: Do I really need to give you another hint?

Sejanus: No. I’ll shut up now.

Dr.Gaul: Good. And as for today’s lesson, we will be discussing the importance of mutts in our modern day society.

Clemensia: Nope. Not today! I’m going home. Bye! *runs out*

Juno: Clemmie, we haven’t even started!

Dr.Gaul: Now who could tell me why-

Livia: Dr.Gaul, why are all your mutts super ugly? Can’t you make them cuter?

Arachne: Yeah! I want a mutt that’s cuter and fluffier than the President’s Bichon Frisé puppies!

Dr.Gaul: Can you not interrupt me for one sec-

Felix: Can we even create a mutt that’s cuter than my granduncle’s puppies?

Coryo: I don’t know. I’m more of a cat person, and nothing’s cuter than Boa Bell the cat.

Apollo: How about we fuse Boa Bell with the President’s puppy!😀

Festus: A cat and a dog? What are we gonna call it?

Gaius: Bichon Bell? Boa Pup? That’s all I’ve got.

Coryo: How about a cute hamster fused with a cute chipmunk?

Felix: Chipster? Chipham?

Urban: Cheap ham? Are we talking about food already?

Palmyra: I have some cheap ham right here! *shows a rotten holiday ham instead* Want one?😀

Florus: Ew. No. Put that thing away from me, Monty.

Palmyra: It’s still delicious!

Everyone: We’re not that hungry, Monty.🤢

Palmyra: Really? How about you, Price?

Persephone: No offense, Palm Palm, but I would rather eat my poor daddy’s Maid Stew again before I eat that.

Palmyra: Just one bite?🥺

Everyone: No.

Dr.Gaul: As I was saying-

Florus: Ok. Here me out. A cute baby duck fused with a cute baby penguin.

Iphigenia: Oh, Panem! A penduck! That’s super cute! I want one already, Flory!

Io: Me too! I’m so gonna tell my parents about that!

Coryo: Honestly, a “penduck” might be the most adorable thing that I personally want to see.

Festus: A penduck burger ain’t so bad either.🤤

Felix: Festus, bro, you can’t just eat a cute penduck!

Festus: Huh? Why?

Felix: Because I’ll make it illegal!

Festus: But if it moves, it’s technically food!

Persephone: I concur!😋

Urban: I mean, Creed’s not wrong. We can even sell it to raise more money for our poor class fund.

Dennis: Nice one, Ban Ban! Now that’s a good business proposal!

Urban: You guys do know about our depleted class fund, right?

Felix: Our precious class fund? I haven’t really addressed that issue-

Iphigenia: And we will never ever address it! Ever!

Felix: But-

Iphigenia: So who’s next? Sejanus, you go!😊

Sejanus: Ok. My turn! How about an adorable baby weasel fused with an adorable baby capybara!

Androcles: Can it swim though?

Pup: I don’t care! I want a baby “capysel” in my house!

Dennis: How about a baby pony fused with a baby kangaroo?

Vipsania: Fling, that’s brilliant! Who doesn’t want a “pongaroo” to fight them!

Lysistrata: Fight them? Is that even legal?

Vipsania: It ain’t animal abuse if they abuse you back, Lizzie!

Felix: Well, don’t mind me. I’m just gonna write that down.

Domitia: How about a baby cow fused with a baby horse?

Diana: You seriously want a “corse” for a pet?

Domitia: What? I literally live in a ranch.

Coryo: You mean a big ass luxurious mansion that looks like a ranch.

Livia: My turn! A baby otter fused with a baby koala!

Apollo: Wow, Livia, you really want the science peeps to make a baby “Koatter” for you?

Livia: Sure. Why not. I can afford it, unlike that poor orphan sitting over there-

Coryo: FYI, Cardew, my boyfriend’s father (Strabo Plinth) is willing to give me a zoo filled with the cutest mutts as a wedding gift after graduation!

Lysistrata: Sejanus, is that true?

Sejanus: Anything for my Coryo!😘

Dr.Gaul: Why am I even here? Just to suffer?!😩🔪

[scrunchie-87]

Im so sorry if someone already did this bc it’s not original at all lol but:

[theflirtmeister]

give me lawrence trans and your joyous and most reverent eldest sister found you under the covers of your bed:3

lawrence trans: i've been writing this one since October LAST YEAR and it's still not finished >:(

Lawrence works later and later. He misses Diana’s school play, Alison’s anniversary of achieving the bar. He takes on more hours than he can possibly handle, falls asleep in his office. There’s an itching underneath his skin, and the only distraction is surgery, and the easiness of removing tumours and misaligned cells. He wishes he could cut himself open and remove the rot inside of him. He decides to try and have an affair. There are several candidates, fellow doctors at conferences, the girl who delivers mail at the hospital, friends of Alison’s whose eyes have always lingered a bit too long.

your joyous: started writing this as a lyctor silas au and never finished it.....

Mercymorn looked at you for a long moment, and then she said. “You have the expression of a damp weasel. Wipe your face and get dressed.” “Why does it hurt me but not the others?” You burst out before you could stop yourself. “Why, sister? Tridentarius is gleeful, and the heretic is-“

[saintmeghanmarkle]

According to NYPost H will receive additional security after catastrophic car chase when he visits New York City next month. As a New Yorker Im livid! by u/BuildtheHerd

According to NYPost, H will receive “additional security after catastrophic car chase” when he visits New York City next month. As a New Yorker, I’m livid! H’s trip to NY next month coincides with UN General Assembly High-level Week and Climate Week. H’s rep told the NYPost that he’scoming to NY for engagements related to African Parks, Travalyst, HALO Trust and Diana Awards and to further the work of Archewell. His wife won’t be coming. “While details about Harry’s upcoming trip remain scarce, the duke is set to receive additional security following his and Markle’s so-called “near catastrophic” paparazzi car chase through Manhattan in May 2023.”We all know that he’s traveling to NYC to try to get press attention given that Prince William might be in NYC the same week for Earthshot. H is pathetic, and as a tax paying resident of New York City, I’m furious that my tax dollars are being used for this weasel’s security. Source: NYPost, August 29, 2024https://ift.tt/qmBjgcM post link: https://ift.tt/HcxO1sQ author: BuildtheHerd submitted: August 28, 2024 at 02:47PM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit disclaimer: all views + opinions expressed by the author of this post, as well as any comments and reblogs, are solely the author's own; they do not necessarily reflect the views of the administrator of this Tumblr blog. For entertainment only.

[theofficersacademy]

　　　 　 　Happyland: Week Four

"This past week pit a lot of you against each other, didn't it? How thrilling! ♡" Diana exclaims. "But in being pit against your rivals so directly, you got to be tested on your bonds with others too. Do you feel like you got to know you and your competitors better? Do you see them in a different light? Oh, how sad so many of them will go then!!"

She giggles.

"This'll be our biggest elimination yet, but it wasn't for nothing! You all worked really, really hard after all, so let's see what their blood, sweat, and tears got everybody~!"

　　　　　　　　GAMES: RESULTS

Stone Cog II: Sheep: 24 Rats: 0 Snakes: Doubled team score with Trophy Weasels: N/A

Lost and Found: Snakes: 7 Rats: 6 Sheep: 6 Weasels: 5

Fiend's Crawl: Rats: 14 Snakes: 5 Sheep: 5 Weasels: 2

All Aboard: Rats: 10 Weasels: 5 Snakes: 5 Sheep: 4

Week Three Totals Rats — 93.5 Snakes — 56 Sheep — 52 Weasels — 23.5

　　　　 　 　 OBJECTIVES: RESULTS

Yunaka — Did not meet Objective | FAIL Hilda — Score: 7 | FAIL Bernadetta — Score: 15 | PASS 　　prize: bring back one chosen eliminated teammate before Week 4 begins Edelgard — Score: 11 | FAIL Etie — Score: 12 | PASS 　　prize: transfer a large portion of a chosen team’s Week 3 score to your team Andrei — Score: 11 | FAIL Diarmuid — No Objective submitted | FAIL Edward — No Objective submitted | FAIL Michalis — Score: 10 | PASS 　　prize: three of sabotee's teammates gain sabotee's bane for Week 4, chosen randomly Lukas — Score: 11 | PASS 　　prize: three of sabotee's teammates gain sabotee's bane for Week 4, chosen randomly

　　　　 　 　WEEK 3 ELIMINATIONS

                  　　  　   Yunaka   　　Hilda   　　Edelgard               　　　     Andrei 　 　Diarmuid   　　Edward             　　    Alcryst　   　Ethlyn  　　Poe   　　Veyle               　　 Maria　   　Byleth (F)　   　Lapis　   　Laslow  　

Eliminated parties are escorted to Sadland for the remainder of August, where they will no longer be taking part in the main course of Happyland events. You will still be required to make your 12 total event posts if you wish to claim the Grand Prize — plan accordingly with your fellow fallen.

　　North Island: Stone Cog Remastered

"Hmhmmm~ You've all been hunting treasures for so long, but there's still the biggest, super duper best treasure waiting for you all to take it!" Diana announces. A gargoyle flies up ahead through the sky to which the maiden waves towards before she turns back to you all. "Of course, the monsters are preparing their best to defend it too! Heehee. How couldn't they after everything else was taken?"

The final temple looms behind her, grandiose and imposing.

"One last time, it'll be a test of bravery, and stealth! ♡ Some caution is important, but at this point, you gotta take some risks to get the things you really want, don't you? Or else you'll just end up empty-handed and sad. Boohoo~!"

She pantomimes crying, but nothing comes out. No, the thing she gives you all after this is her biggest, brightest smile yet.

"But you're not in this alone! It's your group against the traps, the monsters, the dangers, for the very best!"

What to expect:

Suitable for those who favor feats of stealth, perception, dexterity, and athleticism

This game will have its major decisions take place in the Discord server but players can decide whether they want to write dash threads or chatplays.

Players will report to the North Island location at the start of the week and will be restricted to interactions within North Island.

　

　　　　　　　　　　 East Island: In or Out

"How... How do you like this!!" With an energetic flourish, grander than any of hers in past weeks, Squawky unveils the resplendent castle behind you—fit for a queen of the highest order, certainly. How she made this overnight is a mystery.

"This... this is where... hah... you'll have your biggest stage yet! The queen herself has asked to see you!" An excited flap that lifts her a couple inches off the ground, then settles again. "And she has gifts she wants to give everyone!"

"But! Um, she can't just give them to any old person! To get the queen's gift, you have to be... be... um, oh no, um... what's the word... net... networked, something? Connected? Um, yes, we'll say ' connected '! Well-connected! You have to know a lot about others!"

If a crest beast could blush, you suspect she would.

"Th-The queen wants to see just how well you all know your friends and foes on Happyland, um, the ones here and gone! And if you're not sure, you'll have others you can talk to to help. But... I don't know. Sometimes things can get messy with so many heads. Maybe one calling all the shots is just better?"

What to expect:

Suitable for those who favor feats of authority and charm.

This game will have its major decisions take place in the Discord server but players can decide whether they want to write dash threads or chatplays.

Players will report to the East Island location at the start of the week and will be restricted to interactions within East Island.

　

　　South Island: Champion of Fiends

"Ahem, ahem!" Stood on a podium (thanks Squawky!), Chevy clears his throat and straightens. "Everything - that is, all of the effort you've put into taming and training your fiends these past few weeks - has led to this! This is where your fiends will get to prove themselves, and maybe even get to strut their stuff a little, hehe. This…"

Drumroll, please!

"… is your tournament arc!!"

Small boy raises his arms parallel to the ground, and then goes for the double flex. Impressive, right? "You'll have no choice but to fight if you want to reach first place here. And really - does anywhere but first matter, in the end? Hmph!"

Hands on hips, Chevy nods to himself. "Right! But! Keep in mind, your fiends won't be the only ones doing battle!! You'll be fighting right alongside them, just, maybe not in the formal way you're accustomed to… Hm, hm! All right." Satisfied, he nods again. "That is all! Best of luck!"

What to expect:

This game will have no boons or banes.

This game will feature PVP.  Please consider your comfort level with this before signing up; any OOC competitiveness should not strain the atmosphere of the game.

This game will have rolls conducted in the Discord server but all writing will take place through dash threads.

Players will report to the South Island location at the start of the week and will be restricted to interactions within South Island.

　

　　　　　　　　　　　West Island: To the Top!

"Are you a fixer-upper? Do you like DIY projects? Have you ever thought about flipping hovels for the market? Well, this just might be the game for you!" Emcee announces with a flourish. "Handy muses will find themselves right at home here. From gathering materials to designing a structure, you'll be competing with determined artisans from the other teams to see which of you can put together something strong enough to quite literally destroy your opponents."

Emcee laughs a little, tinny laugh. "Doesn't that sound fun?"

They pat their book emphatically. "You'll need equal parts muscle and wit to succeed here. Good luck, and may the best craftsman win!"

What to expect:

Suitable for those for favor feats of dexterity and insight.

This game will be guided in the Discord server, but all writing will take place through dash threads.

Players will report to the West Island location at the start of the week and will be restricted to interactions within West Island.

"Annnd that's that!" Chevy dusts himself off, then claps his hands together. A job well done, if he might be so humble as to say. Of course, it's not over yet but... ... well, he has to hope that the competitors will be able to go it on their own this week. After all, Squawky, Emcee, Diana, and he have somewhere important to be to work their magic for the remainder of this week, and that somewhere is unfortunately not at their precious contestants' side.

"... Good luck and have fun, everyone," he whispers. "Put on a good show, okay?"

And with that, off he goes to meet up with the other three - and their beloved Ringmaster too!

How to Play:

Week 4 begins on Monday, August 26 at noon EST and ends on Friday, August 30, at midnight EST.

Rules for each game will be explained in the respective channels at the start.

The main IC game events for the duration of the week will count for one thread mastery upon meeting the usual requirements.

　

If you have read all instructions, your muse may make their week 4 selection here.

Signups will close on Sunday, August 25th, at 11:59PM EST. Priority on each game will be given to muses who were not on that island in the previous week.

Signups may not be altered once they are submitted. Be sure of your choices before you submit.

[viisiond]

CHARACTER INFO- AZRAEL SULIMAN (OC)

Name: Azalea Suliman Alias: Witch of the Wastes, Azrael (Alias) Age: ??? (500+) Height: 5'7" Affiliations: Abyss Order (Co-Founder alongside Chlotar Alberich), The Coven of the Wastes (Founder)

Personality: Narcissistic, a vain individual, and a manipulative woman. Azrael is a scorned woman from Khaenri'ah, one of the many who had beliefs in the gods and yet she was still punished for it- resulting in her bitterness towards the divinity and her sworn vow to destroy them. Azrael is indeed a VERY talented Actress, able to weasel her way back into the lives of her former best friend's family without even tipping off to them she is only there to get what "belongs" to her (Diana's Grimoire). She is a rather smart individual who could and would experiment on anyone close to her or to her former friend, even cursing them to a point to make a jab at them even after her former friends were long deceased. Azrael, deep down, is a vile woman who has cursed the gods and the archons for her situation, for not helping Khaenri'ah, for leaving all of them to die- and her goals are to kill them and hurt them just like they did to the nation of Khaenri'ah. To make them feel as helpless as the citizens were and she will kill, maim, curse, torture, and deform anyone who gets in her way.

Family: Chlotar Alberich (Situationship (kinda unclear ngl); Deceased) Olivia Suliman (Daughter; Alive (@/implexisfatum)

Vision: N/A Weapon: Catalyst

Abilities: Abyssal Manipulation Summoning (Can summon the abyss creatures at her beck and call) Magic (Azrael's VERY well versed in Magic, a potential to be a witch within the Hexenzirkel but she was denied access due to her corruption and affiliations with the abyss)

OTHER: -TBA-