#welcome 2 America tour

[gurugirl]

A Balancing Act | Ch. 2*

Series Summary: Harry is a famous, rich, handsome, pop star and he’s been in therapy since his boy band days. When he meets Y/n, a beautiful and successful artist, he cannot take no for an answer when it comes to her. He’s determined to make her his even if he has to bend the rules a little at first.

Chapter Summary: Y/n learns that Harry kissed another woman and decides to move on. Harry crashes Y/n's date to get her to change her mind. But then he makes a shocking discovery.

Warning: 18+ only, NSFW, smut (oral sex sort of), angst

Word Count: 9,739

Commissioned by @cinnamonone (thank you!! xoxo)

A Balancing Act Masterlist

Returning to LA after his tour in Latin America, Harry was sitting with Pat in his lovely house. Matcha tea was served and she started off by asking him how he was feeling emotionally lately. She tended to want to start off their sessions by letting him talk about his emotions and how he was dealing with his busy life, reserving the topic of relationships and love until toward the end. It gave her a good gauge of his overall well-being.

“I miss home. It’s always the hardest when I feel like I’m missing out on so much. Feels like I’m ignoring what’s really important in life and focusing too much on myself. Feels selfish. I know that no one thinks that. My mum is always telling me to not worry but it’s just hard. Especially because I’m closing in on 30 and just feels like I’ve just been playing around for all my life.”

“But this is your work. And you do work hard. You’re just lucky that you’re talented enough that you can delve into this kind of creativity and make a living from it. You’re putting more responsibility on yourself than is necessary. You’re on your own path, Harry. And while from the outside everything looks fun and glamorous, even you know the truth because you live it. It’s hard. So don’t discount yourself by feeling like you’re not doing enough. Your mom is okay. She can take care of herself. Gemma is okay too. She’s doing well. Your friends and all the people that matter in your life support you. Comparing yourself to the 9-5 worker isn’t going to do you any good. You’re a successful artist. An entrepreneur. Just imagine if you weren’t. You’d be in Manchester or London and working some mundane job. Sure you’d be around your family but you wouldn’t be thriving like you are now. I think you’d be miserable and if you’re miserable your family will feel that.”

Harry nodded, “Probably. I guess I can’t imagine myself doing anything else.”

“I can’t either. But it’s more about how you’re dealing with that guilt. I think as you’re getting older your priorities are shifting a little. And that’s okay. It’s good to welcome new awareness. Just be sure to not dwell on it because no one else is.”

Harry sniffed a laugh and smiled. Pat was right of course. He knew all of this. They’d been talking about his guilt a lot more recently and he recognized it was more because there were particular milestones that society set for people. And Harry had met many milestones but the basic ones like love, family, stability, children were all things he’d had yet to really achieve. Of course, he had a family but not his own, with a spouse and kids and a little house in town… but that wasn’t his to have yet. And the little house in town might wind up looking more like a bunch of houses in different parts of the world. He couldn’t deny he was lucky but he also couldn’t ignore that he felt like he’d been shirking his adult responsibilities.

“Okay. I can tell you need to say something. Want to move on from this subject?”

Harry grinned and repositioned himself to face more squarely toward Pat, “I met someone.”

“Oh? What does that mean?”

“I met her in Chicago. She was staying at the hotel I was in but she was there for an art show, she’s this really talented artist. But anyway… we just hit it off. We’ve been talking on the phone almost every night. I really like her.”

Pat nodded and placed her mug down, “That’s great. So, she stayed at the hotel you were in but how did you come to actually meet her?”

Harry described the scene at the bar and then how he invited her to his show the following evening, “I just… I don’t know. She’s not famous or anything but she acted like I was just a normal guy. And we really connected mentally and physically. She really seems to like all the things I like.”

“You mean, in bed? Or have you really gotten to know her on a deeper level?” She smirked and tilted her head. Harry was like this. He could connect with all kinds of people and it made his heart swell and lurch and then as fast as it filled up it all deflated just as quickly.

“Well, not just in bed. But yeah. We just clicked.”

“Look, I think that’s great. Just remember, you are okay as a single man too. Correct? You don’t need to be loved all the time. You are enough. You don’t have to fall in love and get married and have children to be a whole person. Society says you need that but you get to choose your path. But if you really like, this, uh… what’s her name?”

“Y/n. Even her name is pretty.”

“Y/n. Well, if you like her enough just take your time. Get to know her. Long distance is hard and phone calls are good but no substitute for face-to-face time. Do you think she’s as serious about this as you are?”

Harry shrugged and pursed his lips to the side, “I think so. I mean… we’ve talked about a lot and she’s told me so many things about herself. I guess I haven’t asked her to make it official, though.”

“Probably wise to wait to make it official. Jumping into a serious relationship could backfire as you well know. And there is the matter that you’re on the road so often. Did you see anyone else while you were away?”

Harry shook his head, “No. I actually really like Y/n. Didn’t want to do anything to fuck that up.”

Pat sighed, “You do realize you were supposedly spotted leaving a party with a woman people claimed you were kissing. Right? Just a couple of weeks ago. Which would have been after your Chicago shows.”

Harry groaned and nodded. He did know. His PR team told him about the supposed fan sighting and there was even a photo of him with a woman. Who he did kiss, but it wasn’t a kiss that meant anything. It was just a bit of fun and Harry had had a good amount of tequila. He honestly was just flirting and wanted to kiss the woman. But of course, when she wanted to take things further he declined because Y/n had been on his mind.

That was one thing about Harry. He was flirty and he’d kiss people he never intended on sleeping with. He kissed men and women and flirted all the time but usually, it was more friendly than sexual. Sometimes people got the wrong idea but that was just how Harry was. He loved getting close to people and touching. Loved hugs and kisses especially if he knew the person.

Even when he was with his last ex she’d gotten used to him kissing others and holding hands with someone else. But it wasn’t always very well received. Like the time she left one of the parties they were at early because she was tired and then he was filmed making out with a friend on a couch in front of people. He had a lot of explaining to do for that one. She forgave him but it hurt her. She cried. Harry felt bad that he’d done it. He loved how it felt to kiss someone and have them kiss him back, the zip of excitement and the tiniest bit of tension.

“Yes. I’m aware. I don’t know that she’s heard anything just yet. I think the photo only got published like yesterday or day before.”

“Well, it’s probably a good idea to talk to her about it before she sees the photo and reads the salacious headlines. That is if you’re interested in still seeing her.”

He nodded and looked down at his lap.

“Now, let’s talk about how you’re doing with all your new endeavors coming up. The timelines and the travel that will entail.”

.           .           .

Y/n was usually late with getting news or updates on celebrities. She spent a lot of her time painting during the day so unless she took a break and used her free time to peruse social media sites she might not realize things like the fact that the man she was beginning to develop feelings for had kissed another woman while he was away in another country.

Just as on this day. She was blissfully unaware of what he’d done as of yet. That is until Kat, her best friend, called in the middle of her glazing a painting she’d just completed.

She hadn’t told anyone about Harry except for Kat. Kat would keep her mouth shut about everything. Y/n knew she could trust her friend with her new secret. Not that Harry told her to not tell anyone but he did mention it would be better if very few people knew.

“Hello?” She spoke into the receiver as she capped the glaze and wiped her hands on her bibs.

“Hey babe. Did you see the link I sent you?”

“Uh… no. I’ve been working on a piece all morning.”

“Put me on speaker. Take a look.”

Y/n clicked the sound to the speaker and opened up her texts to see the link from Kat.

The moment the Daily Mail website came up with a blurry, dark photo of Harry standing very close to a woman she felt her heart drop.

Reading the caption of the article:

STYLES SPOTTED KISSING MYSTERY WOMAN IN COLOMBIA

“Are you seeing it?” Kat asked.

“Yeah. I am.”

The article mentioned him leaving with the woman after a party and Y/n put the phone back to her ear, not wanting to read more in that moment, “Thank you, Kat. I’m glad you showed me.”

“Of course. I mean… it’s Daily Mail so it might not be anything, but I just wanted you to have that info just in case. You know?”

Y/n nodded and swallowed the lump in her throat, “Yeah. I know. I’m gonna go, though. I need to finish my canvas. But I’ll call you later, okay?”

Letting out a shaky breath she sat down so she could read the whole article, line by line. Obsess over the information and then google to find more websites and gossip pages, supposed first-hand accounts, unnamed sources talking about how he’s been seeing her for a while and he’s excited, other blurry photos of him at the party drinking…

She shook her head and stood up, locking her phone and putting it down on the table near the bottle of glaze. She looked over her canvas and figured she could take a break. It would be good for her to get out and take a walk. Clear her mind and figure out what she wanted to do.

Her walk resulted in her only dwelling on everything. He hadn’t called her in a couple of days but she knew he was traveling back to LA. She felt like he’d probably needed the rest from all the shows, the jetlag, time zone changes… but perhaps it was because he was seeing someone else now.

And that was certainly possible. They didn’t know one another all that well. She hadn’t even told him the whole story about her husband yet. About what had happened to him. And there had been no commitment made. They had sex in his hotel room. A few times. And it was really good. She felt they had a unique connection. Her feelings for him grew a little more quickly than was wise probably and the Facetime calls with all the revelations of things from their past and what they wanted in the future felt like she was talking to someone whom she could see herself with. He’d also given her his personal cellphone number which she knew was sort of a big deal.

But of course, that was ridiculous. This was Harry Styles and even if he did like her (which she was sure he liked her on some level) that didn’t mean they’d end up together. He could choose anyone. It certainly wouldn’t be her.

Later that night as she snacked on dill pickles and popcorn she fell into the hole of the search engine on her laptop.

The night Harry was supposedly seen with the woman was a night he hadn’t called her (she checked her call log). He didn’t call her every night, but it was still noted. Then she found another “source” saying Harry was happier than he’d ever been and that the Colombian woman was spotted in LA with him.

He hadn’t called her again that night either. Closing her laptop she figured it was over. She wouldn’t be calling him to find out what was going on. He didn’t owe her anything and it would look weird and stalkery to be asking him about the other woman. As if she had any claim on him.

Opening up her DMs on Instagram she decided to check back in on Dante. He’d messaged her all that time ago and she’d left him on read once Harry came into the picture. Maybe it was time to find someone closer to being in her own league.

.           .           .

Harry had a little time off and he caught up on much-needed sleep and getting back into a normal routine. He’d planned on calling Y/n that night. He’d been back in LA for a few days and felt like he was back in the right time zone finally. But he wondered why he hadn’t heard from her at all either. Normally she’d send off a little text during the day. A meme or something that would make him laugh. But it was silence from her for almost five whole days. Not that he’d reached out either but still…

He wondered what she was doing. It was a Saturday night and when he realized she was two hours ahead of him he figured he might as well give her a ring to see how she was. It was nearly 9pm her time already.

But the call went to voicemail so he left a message, a smile on his face, “Hey you… haven’t heard from you in a few days figured I’d give you a call to see what’s happening. I’ve been back in LA for a bit and I’m all caught up on rest. Give me a call back when you’ve time!”

She didn’t return his call that evening.

The following day Harry checked his messages and texts but he’d still gotten nothing from her and it was already midday (yes, he’d slept in quite late since he was up late writing a new song he couldn’t get out of his head). It was odd.

Shooting off a text message to her he suddenly had a feeling that perhaps she was avoiding him. Perhaps she’d seen the articles about him with someone else. He hoped that wouldn’t deter her from wanting to see him again. Hoped that she’d at least let him explain.

He needed to do something about it if that was the case. He couldn’t let her slip away without even having had the chance to see where it could go.

.           .           .

She heard the voicemail. In fact, she saw her phone light up with a notification that he was calling her in real time.

But she’d just messaged Dante and they had plans to meet up the following weekend. She’d been lucky that he hadn’t already come to town for the art exhibit. She thought she’d missed her chance when she messaged Dante back and apologized for not responding sooner. But he was polite as ever and they made plans to see one another.

So she was going to move on from Harry. There was unlikely anything good to come of it anyway. She had an amazing night with him and a handful of orgasms she could reminisce on but he was a world-famous pop star and he was single and surely he wanted to play the field for as long as he could. She understood it, but that didn’t make the situation feel any better. Therefore, the only way to get over him and to move on was to stop contact with him and get back out there.

Plus, now that she’d been with a man after her husband she felt like it was time to start dating again. It had been fun with Harry and she could have fun with others too. Maybe she’d sleep around a bit. See what that was like. Sow her wild oats. She’d gotten married so young and had little experience before him… Yeah, it was time to get out and date.

The following day she saw a text from Harry after leaving a meeting with someone who knew an art dealer.

Was just thinking of you. Missed hearing your voice. I’m back in LA now. Call me or text back. 

She sat in her car and locked her phone, putting her head behind her on the headrest. What was he doing? She was kind of confused that he’d called her, left a voicemail, and then today had texted her. She really was trying to just move on. Figured he had too. But she was too curious not to call him. However, she’d keep him waiting until she was at home with a bottle of wine before she reached out. Maybe she’d hear him out. Maybe he wouldn’t bring up the other woman. She wouldn’t be bringing it up unless he did, but he had to know she’d heard about it. Right?

So, she took the long way to her house, stopping to pick up a bottle of wine and Chinese food before getting home.

She drew her curtains and took her clothes off, only wearing her panties and a tank top, and put her hair up in a messy bun on her head (like the real-deal messy buns, not those cute going-out-messy-on-purpose messy buns). Pouring herself a glass of wine and taking a big gulp she looked down at her cell phone as she sat on her couch and re-read his text.

For some reason she was nervous. She wasn’t sure how this conversation would play out but she wanted to find out what the result would be. This could possibly (most definitely) be the end for them. And she’d be okay with that if it were. Bummed, but fine. She still had her date with Dante to look forward to.

She dialed the number and put him on speaker as she leaned back into her couch and covered her face. She didn’t know if he’d pick up or not but she wanted to get this conversation out of the way.

“Hello!” Harry’s voice came over the speaker quickly. He sounded keyed up.

“Hi. It’s Y/n. You called and texted so I wanted to return your call.”

“Oh yeah… well, it’s been a few days. Was wondering how you were. So, yeah… How’ve you been?”

“I’m good. And you?”

Harry paused and noted the way she answered him in a clipped tone, cold. Not her normal friendly disposition.

“I’m well. Is… is everything all right?”

“Sure. Just doing my thing. Is everything all right with you?”

Harry sighed and rubbed his hands over his face, “Yeah. Um… did you read something about me? Is that why you’re upset?”

Y/n laughed and took a sip of her wine. Here we go, she thought to herself.

“Do I sound upset to you, Harry?”

“You actually do. Yes. Look, if you’re pissed about the articles from when I was in Colombia, I just want you to know that all of that is blown out of proportion. Right? So-“

“Oh. Interesting So you’re saying you didn’t make out with a Colombian woman at a party in Bogota?” God, she hated to sound so jealous but he did bring it up first. She cringed as she let her hurt feelings surface, but it was too late to keep her cool like she intended.

Harry sighed loudly, “I just mean that’s all blown out of propor-“

“Yes, you said that. I’m asking if what is being said is true or not.”

“It didn’t mean anything, Y/n. I am a bit of a flirt and I kissed a woman but that was it! I swear. I thought of you the whole time-“

“It’s fine, Harry. You don’t owe me anything. Besides, I’m going on a date next weekend anyway. We’re free to see other people, right? And-“

“A date? Next weekend?”

She laughed, “Yes. A date. Next weekend. It’s not like you and I will get to see one another much anyway. If at all. So there’s no reason to drag this out. We had fun but it’s clearly not something we need to bother ourselves with.”

“Bother… what? I thought we really connected, Y/n. I’m confused. I really like you.”

“But how can you say that when you made out with someone else? I really like you too Harry but you’re seeing other people because you know as well as I do that this, whatever it is between us, was never serious. Right?”

“No. No that’s not true. And I didn’t make out with her! It was like a quick party kiss sort of thing. Damnit! I swear, Y/n. I’m sorry. I had a little too much tequila and I kissed her but I really was thinking about you and she wanted me to come with her to her room but I told her I was seeing someone and that was it! God, I fucked this up didn’t I?”

Y/n sat for a moment. She had to admit she was surprised by all of this. Surprised that he’d contacted her after she didn’t respond the first time, that he seemed upset about possibly having offended her or hurting her, and that he was acting like he really did like her. But she determined that it was best if they parted ways. She realized it would simply be too hard for this to work. And based on the way his fans obsessed over the Colombian woman and were already talking shit about her (when they didn’t even know who it was) she knew she was right. She had to put an end to it before she got her heart broken.

“There was never anything to fuck up, Harry. But, look… let’s be honest here okay? I’m just a regular gal. I’m not your type, not the type that would be able to deal with your fame and all your adoring fans. I had a lot of fun with you and I think you are absolutely amazing. I really do like you but I just can’t see this working. You know?”

Harry shook his head and tried to stay calm. He had to think. He had to make this work. And he needed to not freak out about the fact that she was going on a date. He hated to think of her with anyone else. And yes, he did kiss a woman, but it wasn’t the same thing! Not to him anyway.

“I think you’re wrong. I think it can work. Let me prove it to you. I’ll come see you. Cancel your date next weekend and let me take you out instead.”

Y/n blinked her eyes, taken aback. She was truly shocked that he wanted to see her again and that he wanted to make it work but still…

“Harry…” she sighed, “you can’t expect me to cancel my date. That’s really not fair to me.”

He knew she was right, “Okay. Sorry. I guess I’m overstepping. I just thought we really connected. I was looking forward to seeing you again.”

Pulling her lips into her mouth she sat her glass of wine down. She was looking forward to seeing him again too, until she learned about the kiss. Even if they weren’t serious and even if the kiss meant nothing to him it meant something to her, “Please don’t make this hard. I really did like you, Harry. But it’s obviously not going to work. And that’s okay.”

“No. It’s not okay. I’m coming to see you. You don’t have to cancel your date. I’m not going to boss you around, but I’ll be flying to Chicago on Friday morning. I’m going to prove to you that we have something good here, Y/n. And if you still don’t see that after next weekend then I’ll back off.”

She couldn’t lie and say that she wasn’t beside herself with the idea that he wanted to put in so much effort to see her. And she certainly couldn’t stop him from going to Chicago and she wouldn’t. But she did feel like it was unlikely he’d actually show up.

“I mean… Jesus, Harry.” She shook her head and grinned, her heart pounding, “You’re crazy. I don’t understand why you want to do this. We had a night together-“

“It was more than just a night. Y/n, come on… you know as well as I do that it was more than just that. All the things we talked about on the phone all those nights. Did that mean nothing? I shared so many personal things with you and I know so many things about you too. But I want to know everything. All of you. I might be crazy but I can’t just give up.”

“We’ll see. And I can’t stop you from flying out here but I’m not going to make you any promises either.”

Harry was determined. More than ever. He knew it was special with Y/n. He knew she knew it too. The night he had her in his hotel room was maybe the hottest sex he’d ever had. And of course, hot sex doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re soul mates but the way they connected and were vulnerable with one another was not like anything he’d ever had. Then all their subsequent conversations and things they’d revealed about themselves? No. He wasn’t done and she wasn’t either. He felt it deep down that she wanted him to prove to her that he was serious.

Kissing that woman had been a mistake. And now he was going to prove to her that he was serious. That they could work.

.           .           .

She didn’t know why she told him where she was going to be on her date. She didn’t need to tell him. He could wait to see her until after. She told him as much at first when he called her the moment he landed.

“Where will you be with your date?” He spoke saying the word date like a dirty word.

“Harry… why do you need that information?”

“Because I’m just curious. Maybe I’m looking for restaurant suggestions.”

“I’m sure,” she rolled her eyes to herself, “If I tell you, you better not show up and ruin everything. I kind of like this guy, Harry.”

Harry’s heart fell into his stomach and the smirk on his face faded at that. She liked the guy? She was supposed to only like him.

“I won’t ruin anything. I promise.” He couldn’t actually make that promise. He wouldn’t be held accountable for the methods he used to convince her she was his. That she wanted to be with him only.

.           .           .

The steak house was a typical small-town restaurant that looked cutesy and had a few things on the outside of the building to let you know it was a restaurant but still came off as more of something that looked like a house.

The inside wasn’t much different. The entry into the restaurant started at the bar. Round high-top tables and tall stools scattered along the middle with dining tables with chairs of normal height lined the wall to the right. The bar with various bottles of neatly arranged, half-empty bottles of liquor along the left. Old wood floors, crown molding, high ceilings, an old dusty scent mixed with the smell of stale spilled beer (that smell just doesn’t come out after years of clumsy customers insisting on spilling their ales every night for the past 35 years), food cooking, and meat searing. Beyond the bar was the main dining room with more tables placed around the space and large windows that looked out onto a sizeable terrace with more tables under a large awning.

Harry let his gaze move around the room and walking past the bar he peeked into the main dining room to see if he could spot the woman of his dreams.

“Harry Styles!” A young lady shrieked and as he turned back he saw two other women walking toward him. He knew the look. They were starstruck and hoping for a chance to speak to him and get a photo.

Reluctantly he obliged. Signed a napkin, took a few pictures, and shook their hands with a smile on his face. It tended to be better to just be nice and give them something quickly instead of declining. Sometimes declining or saying he couldn’t resulted in more issues than it was worth.

Not spotting Y/n anywhere either inside or outside he asked the young man stood at the front if there was a reservation under Y/n’s name. He expected that her date would have put it under his name but on the off chance-

“Yes sir. Uh, that reservation for 2 people isn’t for another fifteen minutes. Are you the other party on the reservation?”

Harry grinned and nodded, “Why yes. I am.”

He followed behind the kid to a spot outside on the terrace and ordered a bottle of red wine. He knew he wouldn’t be able to drink the whole thing but figured that once Y/n arrived with her date they could finish it off. He knew that what he was doing was taking it a little too far (maybe a lot too far) but he wanted to properly greet her and get a good look at this date. He’d get up and let them take their seats and then he’d pay the bill of course as an apology for the inconvenience.

Before he’d finished his glass of wine his sight landed on the entry to the terrace where Y/n, a tall man with dark hair (presumably her date), and the young host who seated Harry were walking toward him. There she was. She’d really dressed up too. The low plunge of her dress and the way it hit her hips were mouthwatering. He stood up quickly as he continued to watch her in awe. Her pretty face was set in an unamused frown, “What are you doing Harry?”

Shrugging his shoulders he looked to the guy next to her. He was Harry’s height. Taller even. Annoyingly good-looking in an older, sophisticated yet unbothered kind of way, “I’m Harry,” he jutted his hand out to shake.

The date looked at Y/n and then back to Harry with his hand taking Harry’s in a firm shake, “Yeah, I know who you are. Harry Styles… But why are you sitting at our table?” He asked with a laugh. So she hadn’t told her date about him. Pity.

“Oh, I was just having a sit, drinking a little wine. But I’ll be on my way. Just wanted to make sure my lovely friend here made it safely. Oh! And please! Enjoy the rest of the wine. And I’ve already told them that the tab is on me. So get whatever you like. Go wild.”

The look of anger on Y/n’s face should have deterred Harry from speaking further, but he couldn’t help himself, “And you look… wow. Incredible. You’re stunning, Y/n,” he looked over her frame and then back to her face, “I’ll call you later,” he winked as he turned and sauntered away just as casually as he had mentioned he was paying their bill. As if it were all just a normal occurrence.

Y/n watched the handsome pop star walk away before turning to Dante, “Sorry about that. He was just trying to be funny. Just a friend,” she reassured.

Though, Dante didn’t seem wary of him at all. He was clueless as to what had just happened, “You know Harry Styles?!”

Sitting down and pushing Harry’s nearly empty glass of cabernet to the edge of the table she nodded, “Yeah. Met him a couple of months ago when he was in Chicago for a concert, and I was there for an art show. Just luck.”

She left out the part where he had her in his posh hotel suite one evening and they spent the whole night fucking and talking and laughing. Connecting. And then again in the morning until she had to leave.

Y/n wasn’t sure how to feel about Harry’s little stunt. He seemed like such a genuinely sweet guy that what had just happened felt a little out of character. Though she got some glimpses of his pushy, dominant side in bed, she hadn’t seen any of that persona transfer outside of the bedroom. Not when he first introduced himself, and not in any of their conversations on the phone… But she guessed perhaps there was a part of him that would come out in this way. And she couldn’t lie and say she didn’t enjoy it all deep down.

But still. The nerve of him to sit at the table she and her date would be sharing and drink wine while he waited for them. To look at her the way he had, his eyes blatantly following her shape down to her hips and back up again with that grin… The compliment. And then to have their bill paid for? It was a power move. He was trying to assert dominance over Dante in some way. Even though Dante was annoyingly clueless somehow. She thought for sure he’d be livid about it but he wasn’t.

Dante was a little too nice she decided.

And it’s not like Y/n thought her date should be upset. She didn’t want two men fighting over her or anything. But the part of her that kind of liked what Harry had done, liked that he was trying to stake a claim or send a message- wanted to see what Dante had in him. Wanted maybe just a tiny bit to see him jealous or even insist on paying despite the fact that Harry said he would. Dante didn’t seem threatened at all. She shook her head of those thoughts. How silly for Y/n to even think that he should feel that way. Of course not!

And she couldn’t stop thinking about how good he looked in his suit and his thick dark hair with soft curls as she and her date neared the table he was casually sitting at. The handsome smug look on his face as he watched them. And she tried to refocus and listen as Dante was talking about his recent gallery show but she was now stuck thinking about the night she and the famous man shared together. That was probably part of what he intended as well, showing up like he did. To set the tone for the entire date. He knew what he was doing. And it had worked.

“Excuse me. I need to run to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”

She took a deep breath as she walked into the restaurant and followed the hanging wooden signs that pointed toward the little hallway where the two bathrooms were. A single toilet room each for women and men.

Flicking the light on and clicking the lock she leaned into the door and closed her eyes. She had to give herself a pep talk.

“You’re here with a perfectly nice and handsome man. Same interests, a level head, funny, humble…” and Dante was all those things. But something was missing. Something was holding her back from truly enjoying his company. And she knew just what it was. It was because he wasn’t Harry. And even if Harry hadn’t made his surprise appearance to discombobulate her completely, interrupting her date, she would have still felt the same.

Just as she pushed herself off the door there was a knock, “Sorry! Be right out!”

Y/n washed her hands and dried them before opening the door. But in a shocking split-second, she was met with the handsome smile of the man she couldn’t stop thinking about as he walked into the bathroom, causing her to step herself backward. Harry closed the door and clicked the lock.

“Harry! What are you doing?!”

Harry smirked and leaned his back into the door, “How’s the date going?”

Crossing her arms over her chest she tried to feign annoyance but she was working hard to hide her own grin, “It’s fine. I like Dante. Why are you still here?”

“I figured I’d see if you were free after. I brought some things with me that I think you might enjoy.”

She paused. He brought some things? What did that mean?

“I can’t believe I told you where my date was,” she shook her head and sighed.

“I’m sure you did it because you hoped for this very outcome.”

“Oh come on, Harry. I actually didn’t think you’d even come here this weekend, to be honest.”

Harry stitched his brows together and pushed himself off the door, taking two long-legged strides toward her, and brought his hands up to her face, “Well I am here. And I want you, Y/n. I don’t care that you’re on a fucking date. That should be me sitting out there getting to take you out,” he jabbed a finger in the air toward the door before returning his palm to her cheek.

Her blood pumped quickly through her veins and her head felt fluttery and light as she watched his mouth and then looked at his eyes as he spoke. His hair was fluffy and soft and his hands on her face felt gentle but she knew what they could do. All the very opposite things of gentle that had awakened some kind of indulgent new requirement. She wanted to put up a good fight. Make him work harder. Make him beg a little even. He’d kissed another woman! For god’s sake, she should make him grovel. But he was there. With her. Looking at her like he did that last morning they were together when they were making plans to keep contact until they could see one another again.

She didn’t know how to respond. If she were responding candidly, she’d tell him that yeah, it should be him out there treating her to dinner and not Dante. That she hadn’t been able to get him off her mind and last night, even though she had this date lined up, it was Harry’s image that she orgasmed to when she masturbated. In fact, it had only been Harry she got off to since she’d had that night with him nearly two months ago.

Harry tilted his head and spoke softly, “Please, Y/n. Do you want me to get on my knees? Beg? Or,” a small devious smirk quirked up on his lips as he licked them and ducked in to speak into her ear, his body pressed into hers, “maybe you want this. You like the chase, don’t you? Is that what you want? Trying to play hardball with me, sweet girl?”

She was a goner the moment his lips brushed over the shell of her ear and he brought his hands down from her face to her hips and pulled her in close. A small warm peck to her lobe, “What is it that you want me to do? I’ll do it.”

Y/n drew her hands up his back to his broad shoulders and moaned as she stretched her neck for him, “You shouldn’t be here. I’m in the middle of a date.”

And despite her words, Harry seemed to figure out what it was she needed and he dragged his mouth down to her jaw and then attached his lips to her neck and lightly peppered kisses and warm licks down the sensitive skin until he lowered enough that he’d made it to her clavicle, drawing a needy little gasp from her lips.

He backed away to look down at her and she had her lips parted and eyes closed, which made him smile.

She was his.

“And this dress,” he smoothed his hands down from her hips to the bottom hem of the material that landed just above her knee. He pulled the fabric upward, his warm fingers sliding up and under the stretchy cloth until he met her inner thighs, squeezed together, “Why did you do this? Wearing this for him? Baby this dress should only be for me.”

Her breaths deepened and her body grew hot with his hands on her. This was such a bad idea but she didn’t have it in her to stop him. She wanted him. When she opened her eyes and looked at Harry she licked her lips before speaking, “I hoped you’d see it. But I didn’t really think you’d come.”

Harry’s palms splayed against her thighs and continued to push the material up as he smiled at her with a cocky grin, “Wanted me to see it. So you wanted me to be jealous. To see you wearing this slutty thing on a date with another man while I watched. Suppose I deserve that. But you know you’re leaving here with me. Yeah? That’s what you wanted. Gonna show you what you deserve for teasing like this.”

Y/n let out a small whimper when he pushed her legs apart and kept his eyes on hers. His light green eyes were slowly disappearing under his dark pupils. His lids were droopy, and his lips parted as he finally moved his face to hers and nudged at her nose with his before putting her out of her misery and kissing her in a hot, desperate embrace.

She tried to resist but she’d already been a goner and the way he kissed her melted her senses and stamped out her resolve.

She was his.

Harry’s hands continued their path upward and she knew what he was doing, as far gone and mushy as her brain was, she understood his intentions. So she parted her thighs more for his access and Harry panted against her lips, “You want me to touch? Need a little something before you go back out there on your date?”

She nodded after faltering for a second. Her date… She wasn’t sure she could face him after this. She only knew she wanted Harry.

He pushed his fingers over her silky panties and grinned as he continued kissing her, her back pressed into the wall, “Fuck, baby girl. You need Daddy don’t you?”

She groaned and popped her eyes open, nodding the tiniest bit as she watched him use his hand on her, rubbing over her cloth-covered clit. Harry hissed and looked at her with sultry eyes, “Soaked for me, baby. You don’t want to go back out there to him. You need to be taken care of. Can you wait til we get back to your place or do you need it now?”

Harry was serious. He was going to leave with Y/n. Dante would be fine. His check was covered after all.

Y/n let out a shaky breath. Here or at hers? Her place was half an hour away and she was already vibrating with desire. Harry’s words and soft touches and his presence somehow pulled from her a need that she hadn’t felt in a very long time. One that she was certain Dante couldn’t affect.  

“This is crazy,” she breathed out.

Harry pushed his mouth to hers and moved his fingers down to the drenched crotch of her panties pushing them to the side and he keened at the feel of how slick she was under the pads of his fingers.

“Remember how good it was, Y/n? How you moaned and came over and over again? The way you took me when I fucked you.”

Harry was hard as rock in his trousers. This woman was doing things to him. He hadn’t been so determined about anyone in a very long time.

“Yes,” she whispered when he stroked up and down through her labia and then pressed into the hood of her clit.

“And how good we are together. We work, Y/n. This works. I know you know it.”

He plunged two fingers inside as he kissed her mouth. She opened her legs further for him and rocked her hips forward into his hand.

Y/n realized suddenly where they were and what they were doing when a knock sounded on the door, “Let’s go. I need to tell Dante that I’m leaving first.”

Harry was directed to stay outside at the front of the restaurant while Y/n went to the terrace and broke the news to Dante. She felt awful. She really did. Dante was nice. He was attractive. But he wasn’t her type in the end and she was slick between her thighs as she sat down and winced at the feel. The empty ache. She was flushed and her panties were chilled against her skin where it was wet, a result of just having been fingered in the bathroom. But her body was guiding her. She was aching and wanted Harry in her bedroom. Wanted Harry inside of her again.

It was probably a mistake. She’d probably regret this but she only knew one thing. And that was that Dante would never have a chance. Not when she was fantasizing about Harry on a date with him. That wasn’t fair to him, to string him along. So she justified that it was better this way.

.           .           .

Y/n had fully expected that Harry would have a driver or something. But to her surprise, he rented a car. A really nice car. A Mercedes Benz wagon.

She did kind of wish he had a driver, though, so they could sit in the back and that there was one of those partitions that separated them from view. But as it was, she was sitting in the passenger side as Harry drove her to her house.

It was kind of wild to her that Harry Styles was driving her to her house and that once there, in her small residential bungalow, they’d probably wind up having sex. Certainly, they’d wind up having sex.

“I’m sorry I did it this way,” Harry paused with a smirk on his face, “but not that sorry. Worked out in my favor.”

Y/n breathed out a laugh and shook her head, “Yeah, I guess you got your way. I imagine you’re used to that.”

“Heey! What’s that supposed to mean?” He knew exactly what she meant.

“It just means you’re probably not used to not getting exactly what you want.”

Harry nodded shallowly as he kept his eyes on the road in silence. He was just happy it had worked. He wasn’t sure it would. And yes, he was used to getting what he wanted but he didn’t expect to get everything he wanted. Not all the time anyway.

“My place is pretty small. Two bedrooms. One bathroom. A small backyard. So don’t judge, okay?” She was mostly teasing, feeling quite nervous about what was soon to happen. The state of her home was actually the last thing on her mind.

“Don’t be nervous, love. We’re going to have a great time together.”

Y/n gulped the saliva in her throat and looked ahead toward the road. She knew they’d have a great time together if their last time together was any indicator. In fact, she imagined it might be even better. He was visiting for three days and she had nothing to do other than finish the canvas she’d been working on for the past week. So they’d have a lot of time. To explore and to play. To talk.

She recalled a conversation they had one night over the phone when Harry brought up her pretty, plump bottom, his words still making her blush having never enjoyed anyone calling her plump in any way. But somehow, when Harry said it, it felt sexy. He made her feel sexy. Her curves and her extra bits, her tummy and ass and arms and thighs… they only spent the one night together but he made her feel as if all of her was beautiful.

“Such a pretty, plump bottom like yours… and you’ve never had anal sex before, or anything? My finger was the first to poke inside?” He spoke his words with a smile.

She was already lying down in bed and gently rubbing herself to the sound of his voice and he’d been heavily flirting and suggesting what they’d do together the next time they saw one another.

“No. Have never done anything back there,” she laughed breathily.

“We can change that. I can start by licking your pussy and your ass until you’re so wet and creamy that I can just slip my finger inside your little hole and get you ready for more.”

She moaned lightly at the idea.

He continued, “And once you’re shaking and begging to come I’ll slowly fill you up with my cock so you can finally experience what it’s like.”

Y/n laughed and paused her fingers, “You’d like that wouldn’t you?”

Harry groaned and panted (he was also touching himself), “Oh I would be in heaven to have you any way you wanted. But to be able to be your first experience with that would be amazing. But the question is, Y/n, would you like that?”

She squirmed in the soft black leather seats just thinking about it. She wasn’t sure if he’d want to go that route or not but she figured if he got her loosened up and drippy she probably would very much want that. She felt like he’d make it good. She knew he’d make it good.

Harry noticed the way she shifted and wondered if she was still on edge. He imagined her panties were a mess after what happened in the bathroom. He would have loved to have fucked her then and there but she asked to leave. And he could wait a little longer, though his cock was aching and pushing against the front of his trousers painfully.

Y/n was trying not to eye his crotch. He clearly had an erection. Still. And she knew he was nice and thick and long. Just remembering the way he looked had her thighs clenching together. Yes, she was still very wet in her panties, and knowing that soon he’d be using that thing on her gave her an idea.

She reached her hand over and put her palm on his upper thigh over his pants and Harry quickly glanced down before putting his eyes back on the road. He swallowed thickly. He liked where this was going.

“Gonna help me out a little?”

Y/n smirked and looked up at him as she unbuckled her seatbelt, “Do you want me to?”

Harry scoffed and shot his eyes at her quickly, “Is that a serious question?”

Biting her lip she positioned herself to lean over the leather console and began to undo the leather belt he had on. Harry adjusted his seating and pressed the seat back button to lean back a little to give her more room as she unbuttoned his pants. He parted his lips and let out a labored breath when he felt her palm over him.

He was so warm under her hand, even with the material of his pants covering him. She continued working on opening his pants up when the seatbelt warning dinged.

Harry groaned and rolled his eyes but she continued, not worried at all about the sound. She wanted to pull him out and play with him a little bit.

The road to her house from the restaurant was mostly along a small highway with no stoplights and very little traffic. Which she liked so she could have him out in her hand and no one would pull up next to them and catch a glimpse of what they were doing. Not to mention it was Harry Styles in the car, that would surely get some attention.

When she finally dragged his underwear down enough that she could grasp around him he moaned softly. She loved how he felt in her hand, the way he looked. She pulled from the base of his shaft upward, rolling his foreskin over his frenulum and back down. He was hard and his tip was pink and pretty like his lips.

The ding of the seatbelt warning chimed again as she leaned further over and moved her lips to right above his erect cock. Harry moved his arm away to give her space, before putting his hand on the back of her head. Her hair fell over the exposed skin at the base of his cock before he felt her lick gently over his slit and stroked him slowly as Harry drove down the road toward her home.

It was difficult to put him into her mouth with the console in between them but she had been able to put his tip in past her lips and lick all around him, lapping at his precome as she continued moving her hand in gentle strokes at his shaft.

Harry was panting shallowly and his stomach muscles were contracting. It felt so good to have her mouth and her hand on him. He wished he could look down to see her sucking him off but he had to keep an eye on the road, and with her seatbelt undone (thanks to the reminder every two minutes from the warning chime) he didn’t want to chance anything.

Y/n moaned around his slit and Harry choked out his words, “Fuck, baby. We’re almost there. Gonna give it to you so good when we get to your place.”

And she knew he would too. She wasn’t very experienced. She’d slept with two men before she got married but of all the men who’d fucked her, Harry was far and away the best at it.

Harry pulled into her small driveway, directly behind her Toyota Camry. Tucking himself back into his pants as she adjusted her dress before getting out of his car and plucking her keys from her purse.

“Did he pick you up here at your house?” He pointed toward her car in the driveway. He deduced that if her vehicle was there the date must have come to her home to pick her up.

Y/n paused and it took her a moment to understand what he meant but the realization dawned on her, “Yes. He did.”

Harry nodded, “So he knows where you live? Did you invite him in?”

Sighing she shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose. Was he really doing this now? “Yes. He came in, stood in the doorway, and looked around while I grabbed my purse. That was it.”

Harry was standing over her with a small frown, “Were you planning on sleeping with him? After the dinner?”

“I don’t know. Maybe. What is this, Harry?” She pulled her arms upward before dropping them at her sides in frustration, the keys to her house jangling as she did so.

Putting his hands on her upper arms he slowly rubbed upward, “This is just me wondering what you were up to is all. It’s a good thing I got there in time to stop anything from happening.”

A scoff fell from her lips as she looked up at him, stunned, “No. This is you being jealous.”

Harry shook his head with a cocky grin and brought his left hand up to her neck and pulled her into his chest, “I’d be jealous if you left with him. But he’s nowhere to be seen now is he?”

She felt the small squeeze on her neck as he pushed her bottom gently to the front of his car, his hips connected to hers so she could feel him, “S’just you and me here, though. Isn’t it? You’re wet for me. Not for him,” his soft, warm mouth was suddenly pasted over her jaw and she gasped. It was hard for her head to fight its way out of the labyrinth of mush that he seemed to be so good at leading her into. But he knew that. He loved the way she responded to him.

Harry chuckled, his laugh vibrating off her neck as he tenderly kissed the edge of her parted lips before backing away and grasping her hand to pull her to her front door, “Let’s get inside then. Can’t fuck you out here on the hood of the car for all to see can I?”

Everything was rushed and desperate in her brain. She was shaky putting her key into her door to unlock with Harry right behind her, his hands at her hips, his lips on her neck.

The moment the door was closed and locked Harry pulled her into his arms and kissed her again. It was hot and frantic. They were both on edge and very much in need of release. Together. Even though he acted as if he had it totally together and he was in charge, he was feeling desperate too with the way his tip was leaky and his cock throbbed in his pants.

“It’s this way,” she panted breathlessly as she pulled his hand to bring him toward her bedroom.

But Harry paused when he saw a large, framed photo hung on the wall. It was of Y/n with a man. Kissing a man. She was wearing a beautiful wedding dress and the man was in a tuxedo with the backdrop of a lovely garden and flowers all around.  

“Is… this you?”

Y/n was halted when she whipped her head to look at what he’d seen. She realized instantly what he meant.

“Um. Yes.”

“Are you… married?”

Y/n sighed and let go of Harry’s hand.

Talk about a mood killer.

Chapter 3

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[fredwkong]

hi. I was finally given a vacation for the first time in 2 years of work, and I would really like to spend it away from home. I want to travel around the world and visit remote corners of Asia, Africa and America. but I'm afraid that with my 25-year-old blasphemous body and European type of appearance, I will look like a typical tourist, and I would like more inclusivity. what do you recommend? ;)

Thanks for your booking with FWK Vacations. Your world tour is sure to be a blast!

You wake up as your nose fills with the thick, rich smell of a man’s sweaty body odour. The smell is so strong that it takes you a moment to get your bearings. You’re in a hostel room, the other bunks full of gently snoring men. Outside the window, dawn is just starting to break.

There’s no AC in Malaysian hostels like this, so you’ve been sweating all night, and the stench is thick around you. But it’s not like you wouldn’t be sweaty again in a few minutes, so you decide to skip the shower. You ran out of deodorant somewhere between India and Myanmar, and you don’t have the spare cash to buy any more.

As you slip back into your still-wet biking gear in the bathroom, you check yourself out in the mirror. You’re paler than most of the people in this part of the world, but with your dark eyes and arresting features, everyone can see that you’re mixed. That means that you’re welcome everywhere, and no guy has ever hooked up with a boy like you before, well, you. Hopefully, by the time you and your motorbike roll up to Singapore, you’ll still be cute and sweaty enough that a hunky daddy will pay for you to continue your travels somewhere else.

Enjoy your vacation!

Want to go on vacation? Book via my ask box!

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Twinkfrump Linkdump

I'm touring my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me in CHICAGO (Apr 17), Torino (Apr 21) Marin County (Apr 27), Winnipeg (May 2), Calgary (May 3), Vancouver (May 4), and beyond!

Welcome to the seventeenth Pluralistic linkdump, a collection of all the miscellany that didn't make it into the week's newsletter, cunningly wrought together in a single edition that ranges from the first ISP to AI nonsense to labor organizing victories to the obituary of a brilliant scientist you should know a lot more about! Here's the other 16 dumps:

https://pluralistic.net/tag/linkdump/

If you're reading this (and you are!), it was delivered to you by an internet service provider. Today, the ISP industry is calcified, controlled by a handful of telcos and cable companies. But the idea of an "ISP" didn't come out of a giant telecommunications firm – it was created, in living memory, by excellent nerds who are still around.

Depending on how you reckon, The Little Garden was either the first or the second ISP in America. It was named after a Palo Alto Chinese restaurant frequented by its founders. To get a sense of that founding, read these excellent recollections by Tom Jennings, whose contributions include the seminal zine Homocore, the seminal networking protocol Fidonet, and the seminal third-party PC ROM, whence came Dell, Gateway, Compaq, and every other "PC clone" company.

The first installment describes how an informal co-op to network a few friends turned into a business almost by accident, with thousands of dollars flowing in and out of Jennings' bank account:

https://www.sensitiveresearch.com/Archive/TLG/TLG.html

And it describes how that ISP set a standard for neutrality, boldly declaring that "TLGnet exercises no control whatsoever over the content of the information." They introduced an idea of radical transparency, documenting their router configurations and other technical details and making them available to the public. They hired unskilled punk and queer kids from their communities and trained them to operate the network equipment they'd invented, customized or improvised.

In part two, Jennings talks about the evolution of TLG's radical business-plan: to offer unrestricted service, encouraging their customers to resell that service to people in their communities, having no lock-in, unbundling extra services including installation charges – the whole anti-enshittification enchilada:

https://www.sensitiveresearch.com/Archive/TLG/

I love Jennings and his work. I even gave him a little cameo in Picks and Shovels, the third Martin Hench novel, which will be out next winter. He's as lyrical a writer about technology as you could ask for, and he's also a brilliant engineer and thinker.

The Little Garden's founders and early power-users have all fleshed out Jennings' account of the birth of ISPs. Writing on his blog, David "DSHR" Rosenthal rounds up other histories from the likes of EFF co-founder John Gilmore and Tim Pozar:

https://blog.dshr.org/2024/04/the-little-garden.html

Rosenthal describes some of the more exotic shenanigans TLG got up to in order to do end-runs around the Bell system's onerous policies, hacking in the purest sense of the word, for example, by daisy-chaining together modems in regions with free local calling and then making "permanent local calls," with the modems staying online 24/7.

Enshittification came to the ISP business early and hit it hard. The cartel that controls your access to the internet today is a billion light-years away from the principled technologists who invented the industry with an ethos of care, access and fairness. Today's ISPs are bitterly opposed to Net Neutrality, the straightforward proposition that if you request some data, your ISP should send it to you as quickly and reliably as it can.

Instead, ISPs want to offer "slow-lanes" where they will relegate the whole internet, except for those companies that bribe the ISP to be delivered at normal speed. ISPs have a laughably transparent way of describing this: they say that they're allowing services to pay for "fast lanes" with priority access. This is the same as the giant grocery store that charges you extra unless you surrender your privacy with a "loyalty card" – and then says that they're offering a "discount" for loyal customers, rather than charging a premium to customers who don't want to be spied on.

The American business lobby loves this arrangement, and hates Net Neutrality. Having monopolized every sector of our economy, they are extremely fond of "winner take all" dynamics, and that's what a non-neutral ISP delivers: the biggest services with the deepest pockets get the most reliable delivery, which means that smaller services don't just have to be better than the big guys, they also have to be able to outbid them for "priority carriage."

If everything you get from your ISP is slow and janky, except for the dominant services, then the dominant services can skimp on quality and pocket the difference. That's the goal of every monopolist – not just to be too big to fail, but also too big to care.

Under the Trump administration, FCC chair Ajit Pai dismantled the Net Neutrality rule, colluding with American big business to rig the process. They accepted millions of obviously fake anti-Net Neutrality comments (one million identical comments from @pornhub.com addresses, comments from dead people, comments from sitting US Senators who support Net Neutrality) and declared open season on American internet users:

https://ag.ny.gov/press-release/2021/attorney-general-james-issues-report-detailing-millions-fake-comments-revealing

Now, Biden's FCC is set to reinstate Net Neutrality – but with a "compromise" that will make mobile internet (which nearly all of use sometimes, and the poorest of us are reliant on) a swamp of anticompetitive practices:

https://cyberlaw.stanford.edu/blog/2024/04/harmful-5g-fast-lanes-are-coming-fcc-needs-stop-them

Under the proposed rule, mobile carriers will be able to put traffic to and from apps in the slow lane, and then extort bribes from preferred apps for normal speed and delivery. They'll rely on parts of the 5G standard to pull off this trick.

The ISP cartel and the FCC insist that this is fine because web traffic won't be degraded, but of course, every service is hellbent on pushing you into using apps instead of the web. That's because the web is an open platform, which means you can install ad- and privacy-blockers. More than half of web users have installed a blocker, making it the largest boycott in human history:

https://doc.searls.com/2023/11/11/how-is-the-worlds-biggest-boycott-doing/

But reverse-engineering and modding an app is a legal minefield. Just removing the encryption from an app can trigger criminal penalties under Section 1201 of the DMCA, carrying a five-year prison sentence and a $500k fine. An app is just a web-page skinned in enough IP that it's a felony to mod it.

Apps are enshittification's vanguard, and the fact that the FCC has found a way to make them even worse is perversely impressive. They're voting on this on April 25, and they have until April 24 to fix this. They should. They really should:

https://docs.fcc.gov/public/attachments/DOC-401676A1.pdf

In a just world, cheating ripoff ISPs would the top tech policy story. The operational practices of ISPs effect every single one us. We literally can't talk about tech policy without ISPs in the middle. But Net Neutrality is an also-ran in tech policy discourse, while AI – ugh ugh ugh – is the thing none of us can shut up about.

This, despite the fact that the most consequential AI applications sum up to serving as a kind of moral crumple-zone for shitty business practices. The point of AI isn't to replace customer service and other low-paid workers who have taken to demanding higher wages and better conditions – it's to fire those workers and replace them with chatbots that can't do their jobs. An AI salesdroid can't sell your boss a bot that can replace you, but they don't need to. They only have to convince your boss that the bot can do your job, even if it can't.

SF writer Karl Schroeder is one of the rare sf practitioners who grapples seriously with the future, a "strategic foresight" guy who somehow skirts the bullshit that is the field's hallmark:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/07/the-gernsback-continuum/#wheres-my-jetpack

Writing on his blog, Schroeder describes the AI debates roiling the Association of Professional Futurists, and how it's sucking him into being an unwilling participant in the AI hype cycle:

https://kschroeder.substack.com/p/dragged-into-the-ai-hype-cycle

Schroeder's piece is a thoughtful meditation on the relationship of SF's thought-experiments and parables about AI to the promises of AI hucksters, who promise that a) "general artificial intelligence" is just around the corner and that b) it will be worth trillions of dollars.

Schroeder – like other sf writers including Ted Chiang and Charlie Stross (and me) – comes to the conclusion that AI panic isn't about AI, it's about power. The artificial life-form devouring the planet and murdering our species is the limited liability corporation, and its substrate isn't silicon, it's us, human bodies:

What’s lying underneath all our anxieties about AGI is an anxiety that has nothing to do with Artificial Intelligence. Instead, it’s a manifestation of our growing awareness that our world is being stolen from under us. Last year’s estimate put the amount of wealth currently being transferred from the people who made it to an idle billionaire class at $5.2 trillion. Artificial General Intelligence whose environment is the server farms and sweatshops of this class is frightening only because of its capacity to accelerate this greatest of all heists.

After all, the business-case for AI is so very thin that the industry can only survive on a torrent of hype and nonsense – like claims that Amazon's "Grab and Go" stores used "AI" to monitor shoppers and automatically bill them for their purchases. In reality, the stores used thousands of low-paid Indian workers to monitor cameras and manually charge your card. This happens so often that Indian technologists joke that "AI" stands for "absent Indians":

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/29/pay-no-attention/#to-the-little-man-behind-the-curtain

Isn't it funny how all the really promising AI applications are in domains that most of us aren't qualified to assess? Like the claim that Google's AI was producing millions of novel materials that will shortly revolutionize all forms of production, from construction to electronics to medical implants:

https://deepmind.google/discover/blog/millions-of-new-materials-discovered-with-deep-learning/

That's what Google's press-release claimed, anyway. But when two groups of experts actually pulled a representative sample of these "new materials" from the Deep Mind database, they found that none of these materials qualified as "credible, useful and novel":

https://pubs.acs.org/doi/10.1021/acs.chemmater.4c00643

Writing about the researchers' findings for 404 Media, Jason Koebler cites Berkeley researchers who concluded that "no new materials have been discovered":

https://www.404media.co/google-says-it-discovered-millions-of-new-materials-with-ai-human-researchers/

The researchers say that AI data-mining for new materials is promising, but falls well short of Google's claim to be so transformative that it constitutes the "equivalent to nearly 800 years’ worth of knowledge" and "an order-of-magnitude expansion in stable materials known to humanity."

AI hype keeps the bubble inflating, and for so long as it keeps blowing up, all those investors who've sunk their money into AI can tell themselves that they're rich. This is the essence of "a bezzle": "The magic interval when a confidence trickster knows he has the money he has appropriated but the victim does not yet understand that he has lost it":

https://pluralistic.net/2023/03/09/autocomplete-worshippers/#the-real-ai-was-the-corporations-that-we-fought-along-the-way

Among the best debezzlers of AI are the Princeton Center for Information Technology Policy's Arvind Narayanan and Sayash Kapoor, who edit the "AI Snake Oil" blog. Now, they've sold a book with the same title:

https://www.aisnakeoil.com/p/ai-snake-oil-is-now-available-to

Obviously, books move a lot more slowly than blogs, and so Narayanan and Kapoor say their book will focus on the timeless elements of identifying and understanding AI snake oil:

In the book, we explain the crucial differences between types of AI, why people, companies, and governments are falling for AI snake oil, why AI can’t fix social media, and why we should be far more worried about what people will do with AI than about anything AI will do on its own. While generative AI is what drives press, predictive AI used in criminal justice, finance, healthcare, and other domains remains far more consequential in people’s lives. We discuss in depth how predictive AI can go wrong. We also warn of the dangers of a world where AI continues to be controlled by largely unaccountable big tech companies.

The book's out in September and it's up for pre-order now:

https://bookshop.org/p/books/ai-snake-oil-what-artificial-intelligence-can-do-what-it-can-t-and-how-to-tell-the-difference-arvind-narayanan/21324674

One of the weirder and worst side-effects of the AI hype bubble is that it has revived the belief that it's somehow possible for giant platforms to monitor all their users' speech and remove "harmful" speech. We've tried this for years, and when humans do it, it always ends with disfavored groups being censored, while dedicated trolls, harassers and monsters evade punishment:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/08/07/como-is-infosec/

AI hype has led policy-makers to believe that we can deputize online services to spy on all their customers and block the bad ones without falling into this trap. Canada is on the verge of adopting Bill C-63, a "harmful content" regulation modeled on examples from the UK and Australia.

Writing on his blog, Canadian lawyer/activist/journalist Dimitri Lascaris describes the dire speech implications for C-63:

https://dimitrilascaris.org/2024/04/08/trudeaus-online-harms-bill-threatens-free-speech/

It's an excellent legal breakdown of the bill's provisions, but also a excellent analysis of how those provisions are likely to play out in the lives of Canadians, especially those advocating against genocide and taking other positions the that oppose the agenda of the government of the day.

Even if you like the Trudeau government and its policies, these powers will accrue to every Canadian government, including the presumptive (and inevitably, totally unhinged) near-future Conservative majority government of Pierre Poilievre.

It's been ten years since Martin Gilens and Benjamin I Page published their paper that concluded that governments make policies that are popular among elites, no matter how unpopular they are among the public:

https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/perspectives-on-politics/article/testing-theories-of-american-politics-elites-interest-groups-and-average-citizens/62327F513959D0A304D4893B382B992B

Now, this is obviously depressing, but when you see it in action, it's kind of wild. The Biden administration has declared war on junk fees, from "resort fees" charged by hotels to the dozens of line-items added to your plane ticket, rental car, or even your rent check. In response, Republican politicians are climbing to their rear haunches and, using their actual human mouths, defending junk fees:

https://prospect.org/politics/2024-04-12-republicans-objectively-pro-junk-fee/

Congressional Republicans are hell-bent on destroying the Consumer Finance Protection Bureau's $8 cap on credit-card late-fees. Trump's presumptive running-mate Tim Scott is making this a campaign plank: "Vote for me and I will protect your credit-card company's right to screw you on fees!" He boasts about the lobbyists who asked him to take this position: champions of the public interest from the Consumer Bankers Association to the US Chamber of Commerce.

Banks stand to lose $10b/year from this rule (which means Americans stand to gain $10b/year from this rule). What's more, Scott's attempt to kill the rule is doomed to fail – there's just no procedural way it will fly. As David Dayen writes, "Not only does this vote put Republicans on the spot over junk fees, it’s a doomed vote, completely initiated by their own possible VP nominee."

This is an hilarious own-goal, one that only brings attention to a largely ignored – but extremely good – aspect of the Biden administration. As Adam Green of Bold Progressives told Dayen, "What’s been missing is opponents smoking themselves out and raising the volume of this fight so the public knows who is on their side."

The CFPB is a major bright spot in the Biden administration's record. They're doing all kind of innovative things, like making it easy for you to figure out which bank will give you the best deal and then letting you transfer your account and all its associated data, records and payments with a single click:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/21/let-my-dollars-go/#personal-financial-data-rights

And now, CFPB chair Rohit Chopra has given a speech laying out the agency's plan to outlaw data-brokers:

https://www.consumerfinance.gov/about-us/newsroom/prepared-remarks-of-cfpb-director-rohit-chopra-at-the-white-house-on-data-protection-and-national-security/

Yes, this is some good news! There is, in fact, good news in the world, bright spots amidst all the misery and terror. One of those bright spots? Labor.

Unions are back, baby. Not only do the vast majority of Americans favor unions, not only are new shops being unionized at rates not seen in generations, but also the largest unions are undergoing revolutions, with control being wrestled away from corrupt union bosses and given to the rank-and-file.

Many of us have heard about the high-profile victories to take back the UAW and Teamsters, but I hadn't heard about the internal struggles at the United Food and Commercial Workers, not until I read Hamilton Nolan's gripping account for In These Times:

https://inthesetimes.com/article/revolt-aisle-5-ufcw-grocery-workers-union

Nolan profiles Faye Guenther, president of UFCW Local 3000 and her successful and effective fight to bring a militant spirit back to the union, which represents a million grocery workers. Nolan describes the fight as "every bit as dramatic as any episode of Game of Thrones," and he's not wrong. This is an inspiring tale of working people taking power away from scumbag monopoly bosses and sellout fatcat leaders – and, in so doing, creating a institution that gets better wages, better working conditions, and a better economy, by helping to block giant grocery mergers like Kroger/Albertsons.

I like to end these linkdumps on an up note, so it feels weird to be closing out with an obituary, but I'd argue that any celebration of the long life and many accomplishments of my friend and mentor Anne Innis Dagg is an "up note."

I last wrote about Anne in 2020, on the release of a documentary about her work, "The Woman Who Loved Giraffes":

https://pluralistic.net/2020/02/19/pluralist-19-feb-2020/#annedagg

As you might have guessed from the title of that doc, Anne was a biologist. She was the first woman scientist to do field-work on giraffes, and that work was so brilliant and fascinating that it kicked off the modern field of giraffology, which remains a woman-dominated specialty thanks to her tireless mentoring and support for the scientists that followed her.

Anne was also the world's most fearsome slayer of junk-science "evolutionary psychology," in which "scientists" invent unfalsifiable just-so stories that prove that some odious human characteristic is actually "natural" because it can be found somewhere in the animal kingdom (i.e., "Darling, please, it's not my fault that I'm fucking my grad students, it's the bonobos!").

Anne wrote a classic – and sadly out of print – book about this that I absolutely adore, not least for having one of the best titles I've ever encountered: "Love of Shopping" Is Not a Gene:

https://memex.craphound.com/2009/11/04/love-of-shopping-is-not-a-gene-exposing-junk-science-and-ideology-in-darwinian-psychology/

Anne was my advisor at the University of Waterloo, an institution that denied her tenure for fifty years, despite a brilliant academic career that rivaled that of her storied father, Harold Innis ("the thinking person's Marshall McLuhan"). The fact that Waterloo never recognized Anne is doubly shameful when you consider that she was awarded the Order of Canada:

https://nationalpost.com/news/canada/queen-of-giraffes-among-new-order-of-canada-recipients-with-global-influence

Anne lived a brilliant live, struggling through adversity, never compromising on her principles, inspiring a vast number of students and colleagues. She lived to ninety one, and died earlier this month. Her ashes will be spread "on the breeding grounds of her beloved giraffes" in South Africa this summer:

https://obituaries.therecord.com/obituary/anne-innis-dagg-1089534658

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/13/goulash/#material-misstatement

Image: Valeva1010 https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Hungarian_Goulash_Recipe.png

CC BY-SA 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/deed.en

[angelasscribbles]

All That She Wants Chapter 2: Waylaid

Series:  All That She Wants

Fandom: The Royal Romance

Pairings for this chapter: Riley x Drake

Word Count: 827

Rating: M

Warnings for this chapter: sexual innuendo, infidelity

My other stuff: Master List.

Drake Walker was nothing if not predictable.

Every morning started with a protein shake, followed by a five-mile run. He worked out regularly in the gym with the rest of his unit, but on his days off he could be found poolside.

Swimming was good cardio and a nice way to change up his workout routine.

He pulled himself out of the water and headed for his towel.

“Looking good there, Walker.”

He froze, towel in one hand, water still dripping from his body. He’d know that voice anywhere. Struggling for composure, he forced his body to move. He toweled off quickly as he turned toward her. “Hey, Brooks. What are you doing out here in the middle of a workday?”

“Relaxing. I decided I needed a little me time, so I took it.”

His eyebrow arched as he tried to figure out why she was giving him a pass for the use of her maiden name. She usually reminded him promptly and imperiously that her name was Rys now.

As if he could forget that detail.

She held up a glass of iced tea with an inviting smile. “Want some?”

Shivers cascaded down his spine at the teasing lilt in her tone. His mouth went dry as he fought against every instinct that he had not to let his eyes wander over her body. He cleared his throat and glanced away before nodding. “Sure.”

“Well, come on then, sit.” She patted the outdoor chaise lounge next to her.

He sat down gingerly as he checked her out surreptitiously from his peripheral vision.

She was still just as beautiful as she had been all those years ago when he’d walked into that bar in New York. He had made his play for her during the engagement tour.

She had fucked him on a pool table and then gotten engaged to his best friend without so much as a conversation in between.

Riley gave him a scintillating smile as she handed him his own glass. Iced tea was a drink she had brought to the palace with her from America. Not that he was any stranger to it, being half Texan.

All of which begged the question, why did she have two glasses? He glanced around the pool area but saw no one else present. Was she waiting for someone? But if so, why offer the second glass to him?

Pushing his nerves, and his questions aside, he reached for the glass, his fingers brushing against hers, sending an electric jolt sparking through him. He dropped his eyes away from her as he muttered a barely audible, “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” she purred. “And what do I get in exchange?”

His head snapped up, his eyes frantically searching her face for clues about this new development.

Was she flirting with him?

The thought sent a thrill of excitement racing through him, chased by a wave of pure terror.

His feelings for her had never changed, but her feelings had always been, and remained, a complete mystery to him.

She was never rude to him. She was always polite. Quite often friendly. But never flirty. Not since that night in Paris.

Had that night meant anything to her? Or did she view it as a meaningless fling? He didn’t know, and he’d never asked.

His heart was pounding in his chest like a jackrabbit on Red Bull as he sat the untouched glass on the table next to him and then leaned toward her. “What do you want?”

She leaned forward as well, closing what little distance was left between them. Her head tipped back to peer up at him with a sparkle in her eyes that he had seen once before. His gaze dipped to her lips as her tongue darted out to moisten them, then darted back to her eyes as she whispered, “What if I said…. you?”

 A million questions exploded through his brain. He knew he should ask why, or at least why now. It would be prudent to inquire what exactly she meant by him. His body? His heart? For an hour? Forever?

So many questions tumbled through him, but none of them found their way to the tip of his tongue.

The heat in her eyes gave the most immediate answers he needed. She wanted him, physically, right now.

Drake Walker was nothing if not predictable and perhaps the most predictable thing about him was his loyalty to Liam Rys. Which made his next move almost unthinkable, but the deepest desire of his heart was being dangled in front of him and he was taking it.

He was afraid any undue conversation might kill the unexpected opportunity that had just inexplicably opened up in front of him. Pushing his emotions deep down inside, something he was an expert at, he returned her seductive smile with one of his own as he stood and offered her his hand. “I’d say, what are we waiting for?”

[eldesperadont]

hello and welcome to the start of my rough Despe/Hiromu recap essay! I'll go over their history in relation to one another. A big reason for this recap is to explain my fascination with the 10+ year long history of these characters, and why I, a queer person, is so drawn to it — this post will include links, spoilers and cover the first 9 years of their careers. If you have corrections or additional infos pls DM me!!

egg, (2010-2012)

Hiromu Takahashi and El Desperado started their pro wrestling training around the same time in NJPWs dojo – both passing NJPW's entry exam in 2009 and training for roughly a year till they officially debuted in 2010.

Desperado in March under his real name, Mikami Kyōsuke, and Hiromu later in August. And here we already have some key moments:

Takahashi's professional debut was a singles match against Mikami. (its on YouTube btw)

Despe's first ever singles victory was defeating Hiromu in said debut match.

Mikami is older and ahead of Takahashi, going on to have an impressive winning record over Hiromu, who only managed to get a sole victory over Despe during their time together as students. (two if you count in a dark match)

Hiromu genuinely struggled a lot as a Young Lion (dojo trainee), having been close to giving up on wrestling if it weren’t for main roster wrestler Tetsuya Naito, who took him under his wing.

So yeah starting off Despe had the upper hand.

This part of their career is the hardest to research given that 1.) the language barrier was way higher a decade ago, 2.) there straight up is barely any footage. So instead, I want to explain the emotional importance of the NJPW dojo background:

The time as Young Lions in NJPW is kayfabe canon. These guys are rivals but also teammates, live and train together, fight with/and each other, cheer each other on in their bouts with the seniors, carry each other to the back when they once again got beaten – these guys are close, they have to, it's them against the world.

And that is the case for pretty much all the homegrown NJPW talent. This system provides feuds with an emotional core; why would someone who was that close be so cruel to each other now? What turns brothers, best friends, partners into enemies? So much room for juicy rivalries with a real weight behind it, after all we watched these guys grow and learn, saw their highs and lows.

Also on a less serious note it's simply amusing to watch old stuff and see two guys that will be bitter rivals, who’s matches will get praise and awards - tag together in mostly fruitless efforts, stumble behind the curtain together and be so clueless about all the greatness they’ll achieve one day thanks to each others hard work.

Young Lions my beloved <3

oceans apart, (2012-2016)

As is custom with most Young Lions both went on excursion: Mikami graduating first, in 2012, and working in Mexico for a year as "Namajague" - Hiromu leaving Japan the year Desperado debuts on the New Japan main roster, in 2014, touring in Mexico and the US as "Kamaitachi" till August 2016.

Both worked in CMLL as heels, as is custom for foreign trainees, starting as masked wrestlers, loosing them in a stipulation match, and also getting their hair shaved at some point.

Here you have unmasked Namajague, who went on to rock a half facepaint look and had half of his hair bleached (in 2014, a trendsetter)

and here you got a young unmasked Kamaitachi (yes he was in a team with Christopher Daniels and Frankie Kazarian in RoH)

These are the years Mikami and Hiromu don’t interact in canon, but in an 2020 interview Desperado confessed that he kept an eye on Takahashi during the latter's excursion, cause of his success in Middle/North America and spectacular matches with Dragon Lee.

Love confessions, (May - June 2018)

Their rivalry was fully rekindled in the “Best of the Super Juniors 25” tournament, so let’s set the scene:

Takahashi’s successful: having won the most important championship for their weight division in his first year on the main roster. He’s beloved by fans and critics and a valuable member of his mentor's faction, Los Ingobernables de Japon.

El Desperado is struggling: unsuccessfully having fought for singles titles several times in the last couple of years. His only championship victories so far having been in the tag division, after joining Suzuki-gun, a shady group that tolerates him, but not without hurdles. The masked man debuted in 2013 as a cheerful honourable guy, but by now he was just a bitter, sinister bastard.

They will have their first singles meeting in 6 years, and their first on the main roster.

They are winking and nodding towards the fact that Desperado already has several wins over the younger guy, but do not address who Despy really is - officially Mikami Kyōsuke hasn’t wrestled in New Japan ever since he left for Mexico.

Leading up to the BOSJ Hiromu made a booklet in which he describes all of his possible opponents, Desperado's page is kept blank at first, but later Takahashi adds “I know who you are, and I hate you.”

Despy wants to impress Hiromu. He was one half of the IWGP Jr. Tag champs at that point and took both belts with him to the ring - he's also wearing a special mask, that is mostly white, a colour Japanese wrestlers tend to only wear on special occasions/in big matches.

A lot has changed since they last fought 1 on 1 - except one thing: Hiromu cannot beat Desperado.

Both didn’t shy away from using dirty tricks, but in the end Despy has the upper hand once more. As his opponent lays defeated in the ring the masked menace has this to say:

(postmatch promo) (the match)

Hiromu will go on to win the tournament and IWGP Jr. Heavyweight belt from Will Ospreay at the 2018 Dominion show, but the loss to his fellow former Young Lion means that the latter has the right to challenge him, and so he does, in this now infamous promo.

please watch the whole thing: link

(funfact, this happened the same night Kenny won the IWGP Heavyweight Title with Ibushi in his corner, the gays were EATING that day, in pride month no less)

Leading up to their confrontation Hiromu would post a video on his twitter playing the 'love me/not' flower game, landing on "he loves me" - which promptly makes him eat the flower in frustration

On the day of their match, June 18 2018, he brings Desperado a present:

A bouquet in a guitar case, a cruel call back to Desperados main roster debut back in early 2014: after Kota Ibushi won the IWGP Jr. Heavyweight belt at Wrestle Kingdom 8 a masked stranger approached the ring with a guitar case, revealing it to carry a bouquet of black roses for the freshly crowned champ (who was a lil confused by the whole situation)

It was the start of Despes unsuccessful run as a face and partnership with Ibushi (which you can read as the first man he tried to pursue).

The masked lad wasn't that fond of Hiromu bringing back old memories.

Their match is an all out war, both using underhanded tactics to keep the other one down, including Hiromu unmasking Despy, who shockingly doesn’t care at all - which is a huge deal, I'm going to quote Japanese NJPW commentator Milano here because he said it best:

“To a masked wrestler that’s your identity. It’s everything. But Desperado has it ripped off and then just puts it on like he was fixing his necktie. He was saying that this very essence of himself wasn’t as important as Hiromu or the belt." (translation by Chris Charlton)

But in the end Hiromu is victorious, finally ending his losing streak. After the match he has some interesting things to say:

(postmatch promo) (the match)

Life’s a b*tch. (mid 2018 - late 2019)

Hiromu's next title defence is in August 2018 in the USA against Dragon Lee, a match I still haven't been able to watch and probably never will. Due to a messed up move from his opponent, Hiromu lands hard on his neck, breaking it in the process. He somehow managed to finish the match but collapsed backstage, immediately being rushed to a hospital.

In the documentary RED HEADED REVIVAL Hiromu shared that he knew right away that something was wrong – he saw his life flash before his eyes and feared that this is the end of his career, but he decided against stopping the fight:

It took Hiromu over a year to fully recover.

That wasn't the only unfortunate incident though: in spring of 2019 Desperado broke his jaw in a deathmatch against his idol Jun Kasai. The timing couldn't have been worse: the highly anticipated BOSJ Tournament for that year being just about to start. Despe had to withdraw mere days before its opening.

Neither of them would make a return till late 2019. And their next actual confrontation wouldn’t be till 2020.

It was a sad time to be a fan of either - with Hiromu we didn't know till his return if he will even be able to wrestle again. And with Despy we had to witness fans being unnecessarily rude to him, ridiculing him about doing a deathmatch in the first place, eventho the injury could have occurred in any type of match. (if I remember correctly, Desperado even deleted his twitter due to the fan backlash)

BUT I'm gonna end this post on a good note:

1.) Despy's return marked the start of a new era for him:

He wasn't gonna apologise, he broke his jaw, so what? Shit happens. He wasn't going to pretend that the situation didn't happen either tho, hell - Despe returned in a shirt covered in blood spots, making direct references to the match he got injured in. (sth he talked about in this video) And his mask? Dons a fractured jawbone now, the cracks filled in with gold - reminiscent of kintsugi, a Japanese method for repairing broken ceramics with a special lacquer mixed with gold, silver, or platinum. The philosophy behind the technique is to recognize the history of the object and to visibly incorporate the repair into the new piece instead of disguising it.

2.) Hiromu wasn't giving up on his way of life either, making a spectacular return - the best was yet to come. Individually and together/against each other.

Stay tuned for the next part, that will absolutely also take me ages to finally put out, I'm apologising in advance,, anyways thx bye!! <3 👹🐱

[ltwilliammowett]

Can you do a short term list for us in a funny way?

Welcome my dear newcomers aboard HMS Surprise. You have been exclusively selected ( or gently beaten up and dragged here) to join us on our South America tour. I promise you excitement, sleepless nights, beautiful scenery, storms, sunburn, no water and a bloody French…. oops I mean great adventure. To help you find your way around on board, here's a short list of important terms.

Landlubber - you, if you need this list - speak a non-sailor who simply has no idea about being a sailor.

Ship - your new workplace - this wooden lady is now your everything and treat her well, she is your life insurance to get you home safely. But be careful, she is very headstrong and if you want to tell me now that she is just an object, you thought wrong. She is very much a living individual and she will make you feel that.

The rigging - that sort of spider's nest above you - is there to operate the sails. Look forward to getting to know the ropes very well.

Sails - those cloth rags hanging from the thick wooden poles. They are used for locomotion and are not blankets.

Wheel - this strange wooden wheel with spikes on it - no, it is not an instrument of torture, but is used for steering.

Anchor - heavy, made of iron and keeps our lady in place.

Compass - this strange thing that lives in a box and is constantly moving back and forth. To cut a long story short: You know which way is north and you can keep your course. You'll soon know it by heart.

Captain - Boss

1st Lieutenant - Second boss and the one who can really fuck you up if he wants to. Get in good line and please don't suck up to him. But he is the one who puts you in everything, be it ward, mess, hammock, etc.

2.nd. Lieutenant - me and I too can make you uncomfortable.

Master - knows where the sails hang and what course to set. Takes just a little more work off the boss.

Purser - is responsible for your food rations, but will also try to get you to buy something from him to make life on board a little easier. Don't do this, he's quite expensive.

Sailor - Your new colleagues, and depending on their years of service, they will know how to handle that wooden lady, how to set the sails and so on. You'll learn it too.

Old Salt - an experienced old sailor, stick with him if you want to learn and he is willing to share his knowledge.

Surgeon - the name says it all. We have a good one on board, be lucky. And if you're lucky, you'll come home with all your body parts.

Midshipmen - mini officers who still need to learn. They can be quite demanding and annoying, especially when many of them are still very young. But don't be surprised if a 12-year-old gives you orders, he's allowed to.

Mess - the place where you eat

Cannon - heavy, iron, dirty, hot and with a loud bang. Used to stop the enemy or inflict serious damage. Keep your limbs to yourself and only follow the instructions of those who know what to do with them. Otherwise you will only injure yourself unnecessarily.

Cannonball - heavy, made of stone or iron. Come into the cannon and please do not trip over it.

Admiral - comes along sometimes. Is the boss of the boss

Hammock - your bed, but don't get too comfortable in it because you won't get much sleep anyway.

Rum - elixir of life, next to coffee

Powder monkeys - yes, they are children, but they know what to do and you can learn something from them too.

Boatswain - also called Bosun, he whistles the orders and drives you to work. He is also your wake-up call.

Marine - our sea soldiers, there aren't very many of them, but the few that there are are fine. They are there for the safety on board.

Cutlasses, muskets, grenades, axes, etc. - makes autsch, hopefully not with you. You will learn to handle them.

Cook - as the name suggests, and yes, having only one leg is normal.

Quarterdeck - not your dance area, that's the officers' area, you're only allowed there if your duty requires it.

Wardroom - also not your area. This is where we officers live and have some privacy.

Great Cabin - living and working area of the captain (you remember? - boss).

Gun deck - remember those big black things that bang loudly? they live here.

Berth deck - this is where you live, sleep and eat. Don't worry, it doesn't get cold there, you share the space with about 170 men.

Well, there is more, but I think that should be enough to start with. The rest will come naturally later. Don't stress about it and I think you will enjoy next year by the sea so much that you will want to come back.

[themultifandomgal]

From 2010- The Brit Awards 2013 Highlights

2013

Part 28

Nervously I sit down in my seat straightening my dress as I do. I sit between Zayn and Liam because Harry and I aren’t allowed to sit next to each other according to management

“You ok?” Zayn asks me as I take a sip of water with shaking hands

“Yeah just… nervous I guess”

“How’s your headache?” Harry asks from across the table

“Not great. I know it’s going to kill after tonight. I’ve got some more paracetamol in my bag if I need it”

“Just make sure you definitely have your in ears in. Even if you can’t hear us or yourself” Niall says

“But then I’ll sound terrible”

“Na we’ll keep you in time done worry” Louis says giving me a smile

“Welcome to the 2013 Brit Awards” the announcement starts and we all go quiet.

“Now look who I’ve found over here at this table, One Direction. How are we guys?” James Corden asks sitting in between Zayn and Louis

“Very well very excited” Louis replies into the microphone James is holding

“Now last year we had a chat and the next day you were going to play in America for the first time. Your now the biggest band in the world. You’ve had 2 consecutive number ones in America alone. Is it a bit much to take in?”

‘Yes imagine having many teens looking up to you as a role model and having the media pick out ever flaw and having haters online who have never met you spill nothing but lies and hate towards you and on top of that all of your friendships and romances are public so you never get a break’ is what I would like to say, but James holds the microphone to Zayn who says

“Erm yeah it’s massively overwhelming and we can’t thank our fans enough. They’re the people who got us to where we are so we owe it all to them”

“Now your performing later on tonight. Your performing your comic relief single which is currently, did you know it’s currently number one in 63 countries. I don’t even know if I can name 63 countries. Niall can you?”

“No” he replies shaking his head

“Your going back on tour right? YN when does that kick off”

“We start tour literally this weekend here at the O2 and we’re really excited”

The boys are in jeans and leather jackets while I’m in tight leather trousers and a cute white top. Music for One Way Or Another (Teenage Kicks) starts and we practically jump on stage

“One way or another I’m gonna find ya. I’m gonna get ya, get ya, get ya, get ya. One way, or another, I'm gonna win ya I'm gonna get ya, get ya, get ya, get ya” Harry starts the song glancing over at me before giving me a little nod

“One way, or another, I'm gonna see ya. I'm gonna meet ya, meet ya, meet ya, meet ya. One day, maybe next week. I'm gonna meet ya, I'm gonna meet ya, I'll meet ya” I sing. Thankfully I can hear perfectly fine but the lights aren’t doing anything for my headache at all. I walk down the stairs slowly, but since the boys get down the stairs quicker than me Harry runs back up and takes my hand to make sure I don’t slip while singing

“I wanna hold you wanna hold you right” I take the higher harmony again not helping my head at all. During rehearsals I’ve been told to prolong a high note which I haven’t done yet because of my headache and nausea

“I get teenage kicks right through the night” thankfully I am able to hold the note causing Harry, Louis and Niall group hug me and jump around the stage

“Brit Awards 2013 make some noise for YN!” Liam shouts. At the end of the song Harry once again helps me up the stairs before we are dropped back down.

“And the winner of the global success award is my 5 little brothers and little sister One Direction!” Robby Williams says into the microphone on stage. We all stand up from our seats and hug one another before heading on the stage

“This is really is mind blowing” Louis says taking the microphone from Robbin and holding the award “we have have to start off by thanking our incredible fans. They have been just been unbelievable and we wouldn’t be here today without them”

“This is absolutely amazing thank you so much. I just want to say thank you to our record label and Sony and Syco” Harry and I both give each other other a look when Liam mentions Syco “and to modest our management” I look down at my feet making sure I don’t eye roll. I know Liam has to say this to keep the peace but I really wouldn’t be thanking them “also our parents are in the house tonight so I just want to say thank you to all of them. Thank you so much!”

[dragons-and-dwarves-are-nice]

The Grim Reaper’s Guide to Breaking Every Rule of the Universe - Masterlist

Hi! Welcome to the third major fic that I've started when procrastinating my other ones! Alastor is my babygirl, so I hope you love it just as much as I do! It's a bit long winded, so I'll try to make it worth the read! Enjoy!

Summary: When touring America for the sake of it, you go to stay with your aunt in New Orleans for a while, taking up a peaceful part-time job restoring objects. But a few weeks in, a package arrives containing an old radio that's seen better days, along with a note seemingly written by someone who thinks they could fist-fight the Devil.

What you didn't know, was the hell of a path that was now set out in front of you. Not fist-fighting the Devil, but instead a very smug radio host who would have no problem spending the rest of his days driving you up the walls.

But two could play that game.

Tags: Demiromantic-Asexual Alastor x Demiromantic-Asexual OC/Reader - 1920s/30s New Orleans - fluff - angst - EXTREME slow burn - crack - Violence (It's Alastor what else)

Warnings: Graphic Descriptions of Violence, swearing, graphic descriptions of injuries, character death, Cannibalistic themes, blood, murder, stalking (anything else I will add)

Taglist - comment or message to be added!

Now available on Wattpad and AO3 (please let me know if links aren't working)

Go back to Hazbin Hotel Masterlist

The Grim Reaper's Guide to Breaking Every Rule of the Universe

Chapters will be infrequent depending on how much work at Uni I have going on - don't hesitate to message to see where I am with the next chapter (it may help me along tbh)

Purple text - In Progress

Green text - Posted

Extras:

Behind the scenes notes (may or may not post)

Headcanons - Alastor x oc (to be written)

Playlist - Part 1 (coming soon!)

Soundtrack Playlist (coming soon!)

Memes

Part 0 - The Universe

Prologue

Part 1 - Oh, peace and quiet, where have you gone?

Chapter I - Congrats! You're adopted.

Chapter II - Another box for my trinkets it’s trinketville.

Chapter III - I’d rather be unemployed.

Chapter IV - Unconditional Violence

Chapter V -

Chapter VI -

Chapter VII -

Chapter VIII -

Chapter IX -

Chapter X -

Part 2 -

To be continued...

Fic oneshots

Paella

More coming soon…

Enjoy! <3

[itsallyscorner]

࿔*:･ﾟTwo in One | H.S

↝ pairing: Harry Styles x actress!reader

↝ summary: Harry finds Marvel interviews hard to do, luckily for him, you’re there to help.

↝ warnings: some cussing obvi. This was longer than expected whoops

↝ a/n: still struggling with trying to write so I decided to clash two of my favorite things in the world to help my creativity flow :) anyway I’m a whore for co-star fics oop🤪

“Right, so you’re paired up with Harry the entire tour. You okay with that?” Tasha, your publicist, informed you. You and the rest of your team had just arrived at the hotel where all the interviews for today’s press junket would be held.

At the moment you were in LA promoting the latest installment of the Eternals series. The last couple of months have been surprisingly enjoyable for you and your career. While you were a talented and well known actress around the world, you were famously known for the character you play in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. You’ve been part of the MCU family for a couple of years now;your first appearance being Captain America: Civil War and your latest one being in the Eternals sequel.

You were excited to be part of the Eternals crew, however, you still missed your Avengers family. Despite your character being around the longest in the cast, you were still the newbie amongst the actors. Everyone knew each other from the previous film so it was like a reunion for the lot of them. You were nervous to meet everyone, but the first table read you all had proved you had nothing to be anxious about. Immediately they made you feel welcome and it honestly felt like you knew them for ages. Though out of everyone, the one person who made you the most comfortable would have to be Harry.

He might’ve been shy at first but that didn’t hide the fact that he was an absolute sweetheart who was genuinely interested in getting to know you. He was intrigued by you—your personality, your journey as an actress—everything about you was just so interesting to him. While there was a hint of flirting and typical banter between you both, you guys were friends;close friends to be specific. Did you find him attractive? Yes, of course you did who wouldn’t? And yeah, there is definitely chemistry between the two of you, though you chose to not act on your feelings.

1. Harry was dating Olivia Wilde and you really didn’t need to be in the center of a cheating rumor

2. You weren’t too comfortable with the whole “dating co-stars while working on set” kind of thing.

Besides having a crush on him, you were okay admiring him from afar and supporting him as a friend. Even when filming wrapped up, you both remained in contact with each other, no matter what time zone or country you were both in.

Adjusting the black sunglasses that rested on the bridge of your nose you turn to Tasha, “Course I’m okay with that! More than happy actually, I’m more comfortable with him than everyone else here.” You admit to her as security guards guide you towards the elevators of the hotel.

Tasha peers at you from behind her coffee cup, “You two get along well.” She comments, though there was a hint of something behind her tone. Your brows slightly crease, turning to look at her, you find a cheeky smirk on her face.

You and your team, along with the security guards enter the elevator. One of the guards pressed a button and the elevators slide shut. You noticed your heart skipping a beat as the floors of the elevator increased. The higher you went the faster your heart seemed to beat out your chest. At first you thought it was nerves, but it wasn’t, it was the brunette haired boy waiting for you in a hotel room a few floors above you. However, you pushed down the feeling, not wanting to get caught up in your little crush for him throughout the entire press tour.

“Stop it.” You mumble towards Tasha, the smirk still evident on her features. While she was your publicist, the two of you managed to form a beautiful friendship over the past 6 to 8 years you’ve known each other. She was one of you best friends at this point.

The tall blonde shrugged, “I’m just saying, he’s newly single and I’m sure he wouldn’t mind you making a few moves here and there.” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, her engagement ring flashing against the harsh elevator lights. The elevator dings and everyone slowly files out.

“That’s exactly why I shouldn’t say anything about my feelings. He’s freshly single, might I emphasize, I’m sure he’d want to explore the freedom of being single again.” You explain, linking your arms with Tasha’s. “Plus, it’s a crush, it’s not like I’m in love with him or something.”

Tasha rolled her eyes at your stubbornness.

“I understand Y/n. But there’s literally no denying that there’s something between you two. Whether you’d like to explore that or not is totally up to you, though as someone who’s quite familiar with the situation, I’d say you just go for it.” She advised while the two of you walked down the hall looking for the room with your and Harry’s name outside of it. You smile as you pass some interviewers already waiting outside the rooms, offering a little “hi” or “hello”.

When you spot Harry’s name on the door you stop in your tracks and turn to Tasha.

“Thank you Tash for the advice, really. But right now I just need to avoid thinking of that and just focus on the interviews. You know how overwhelmed I can get and the fact that he’s gonna be there the entire time doesn’t really help.” You reason with her. You appreciated her advice, although you seriously couldn’t be hyper focused on your crush on Harry. Maybe it was the fact that you were seeing him again for the first time that made you so giddy and lowkey obsessed with him. Whatever it was, you didn’t want to focus on it.

“Understood.” Tasha nodded. She peaked into the room where Harry and the camera crew was setting up. “Alright, you all good to go in? How’re you feeling?” She checked up on you.

“I’m good.” You confirmed. Tasha walked into the room, you trailing behind her. It was the typical setup: a backdrop with the film’s title plastered on it, a few chairs, and a camera crew. Tasha greeted Jeff, Harry’s manager, the two sharing a friendly hug. You greeted him as well before walking further into the room.

Already sat in the director’s chair with his name behind it was Harry. He was on his phone, mindlessly scrolling with his brows scrunched together, almost slouching in the chair. The increase in volume kn the room caught his attention, causing him to look up from his phone.

You eyes widen when his instantly connect with yours. His face brightens, eyebrows raising and a smile that squeezed into his cheeks.

“Hey you!” He excitedly greets you, hopping out of the chair with his arms wide open for you. Your own lips form into its own sweet smile as you find yourself being engulfed by Harry’s arms.

“Hello to you too!” You laugh into his shoulder, your arms wrapping around his waist. He leans back to look properly at you, though his arms remained around your figure.

“You’re late.” He teased you, a glint of playfulness in his green eyes. Your mouth gaped dramatically, leaning further away from him.

“Am not! I’m actually on time—“ you cut yourself off to look over your shoulder at Tasha. “Tash, we’re on time aren’t we?”

You feel Harry chuckle at your banter, eager to prove him wrong. The blonde smirks at you, “Thirty minutes ahead schedule.”

“Told you.” Harry rolls his eyes at you before bringing you back into his chest. Sure, you were friends, but when it came to showing affection, you and Harry were very touchy and “huggy” people.

“It’s been so long since we’ve seen each other, I’ve missed ya.” He looked down at you, eyeing your outfit for the day. “You look gorgeous by the way, love.”

A light blush forms on your cheeks, “Thank you, H. You don’t look too bad yourself.” You say, patting the lapels of his blazer. His outfit was fashionably casual yet comfy all at the same time. It made him look very soft and cuddly. Plus that stand of hair that curled against his forehead was very attractive—simple yet very effective.

He thanks you, leading you towards your chairs with his arm around you. He gives you a hand to hop onto the director’s chair before sitting in his own.

You lean you elbow on the arm rest and place your chin in your palm, “So, first interview for the movie, you nervous?”

He copies your stance, shifting closer to you, so the conversation was only between you both.

“Y’know what? Yes, actually I am.” He admits with a breath.

“Really?”

“Yeh, I mean it’s a bit different from other movies I’ve promoted. I’ve never been so self conscious about accidentally spoiling something.” He spoke, using his hands to emphasize his point. “Marvel’s bloody secretive, I feel like m’head’s bout to be chopped off or something if I let something slip.”

You let out the laugh at his comment, “I mean you’re not Tom Holland or Mark Ruffalo, so you’ll be fine.” You said, nudging his shoulder with yours.

Shaking his head he stares at you, “I don’t know how y’do it, I’m shitting m’pants right now.” The corner of his lip raises to cover up his nerves. He was joking for the most part, although Harry was genuinely worried about sharing too much about the movie or his character. The movie was a big deal to him since it was a different experience to the previous movies he’s been in. Marvel movies had more action to them and it was an honor to be part of the wide-ranging world of the MCU.

Harry was more than happy to be coupled up with you for the entire press tour. Besides the fact that’s he’s been having a budding crush on you, the two of you got along great and we’re very comfortable with each other’s presence. You bounced off each other effortlessly and there was a natural connection between you both—at least that’s what Harry believes.

“Oh, please! You’re going to be fine, Harry. I’m sure these interviews will feel like a breeze once you get through the first one.” You assure him, placing a hand on his arm. “Plus, I’m gonna be right next to you if you need help. You’ve got nothing to worry about.” You grin, the dimples in your cheeks going unnoticed by Harry. He had an urge to poke them, not in a menacing or teasing kind of way, but in a “oh you’re so cute, I adore you” type of way.

Harry hums into his palm gazing staring at you, “Guess you’ll be my good luck charm then, huh?”

“Sure, though I can’t guarantee how much luck I’ll be for you.” You snort, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“I mean you’ve already got the charm, think we’re already halfway there, darling.” He shamelessly flirted. A boost of confidence shot through him when he saw you attempt to hide the smile behind your hand.

“Shut it.” You muttered, feeling a bit flustered at his comment. You’re so pathetically down bad for this man that a simple bloody pickup line was enough to have you blushing like a teenager, you thought to yourself. Gosh, you wanted to ram yourself into a wall headfirst.

Harry huffed, gently pulling your hand from your face, “Oi, don’t get all shy on me. I don’t need ya ignoring me the entire day.”

You placed your hand down to glare at him, “That was one time.”

“Y’still didn’t talk to me the entire day.” Harry rebutted, tilting his head at you. Happy that he could finally see your face again, he rested his head on your shoulder. The room was full of murmurs from different people. The film crew was double checking all the equipment and lighting before interviews began, while Tasha and Jeff were having a run down on today’s schedule.

Everything around you and Harry was loud and borderline chaotic. Yet the two of you sat in comfortable silence. Since you’ve arrived Harry’s nerves had calmed down. His palms weren’t moist and his heart wasn’t pounding as hard against his chest anymore.

“Y’know I actually did miss you.” Harry spoke, shifting to look up at you.

“I missed you too. I always see videos and pictures of you on tour, looks like so much fun.” You hum. Harry lifts his head off you, “Oh, y’keeping tabs on me now?” He smirked, earning him a swat on the chest to which he feigned hurt at.

“You wish.” You scoffed jokingly.

“You should come to one of the shows one day. I know a guy who can get me tickets.” He offered, the corners of his eyes crinkling at his own joke.

“Oh really?” You play along. Harry nodded seriously, “Yeh, he works for the guy who sings and all that. I heard he’s a right dick though.”

“Your friend’s not wrong.” You claim causing Harry to gasp at you in offense. The banter was cut short when Tasha and Jeff approached you two, signing that it was time for the interviews to start.

*clip 1 🎬*

“So Harry, how was it like to work with someone who’s been in the Marvel business for a while now?” Claire, an interviewer asked. “Did you ask her for any advice? Have you learned anything from her—what was that like?” Harry took a sip from his Starbucks cup and hummed.

Harry turned his head to look at Y/n with the corner of his mouth quirked up.

“She was horrible.” The camera panned to Y/n who’s mouth was in an “o” shape. Before she can speak, Harry placed a hand on her knee and began sputtering apologies through his laughter.

“He’s quite the comedian.” Y/n sarcastically remarks while Harry is pulling her into his side. Claire giggles at the two’s antics.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding!” Harry started. His arm remained around Y/n’s shoulders. “Y/n’s the opposite of horrible. She’s been such a help since day one and she’s been helping me today during these interviews. Uhm, I’m very appreciative of her actually—because she’s been patient with me and the ridiculous amount of questions I have. She’s been a kind of guide for me while we were filming this movie and I couldn’t have gotten through it without her.” He finished with a shy shrug.

“That was sweet.” Y/n cooed at Harry, who only blushed in response.

“Was it?”

“Yeah.” She nodded.

“Well I meant it.”

*clip 2 🎬*

“I know you guys can’t say much about the movie, but can one of you try to give the audience an idea of what goes down in this film?” Josh another interviewer asked.

Y/n hummed to herself in thought.

“Y’know I’ve been dreading that question.” Harry mentioned wiggling his pointer finger at the interviewer. Y/n snorted to herself and jokingly pushed Harry to lean back into his seat.

“I’ll take it.”

Harry looks up at the ceiling and said, “Oh, thank God.”

Josh laughed at Harry, “You’re not willing to risk spoiling it, huh?”

Harry shook his head, “Are y’kidding me? I’ve been on the edge of m’seat the entire time.”

“Have the people at Marvel given you the talk about spoiling the movies?” Josh asked.

“Yeh, they’re very strict about what we’re allowed to say and not say about the film.” Harry pointed behind him, “Actually a few minutes before we started, they had to pull me aside and remind me that I can’t say this or that about the film.”

An amused expression was on Y/n’s features, “Did they actually?”

Harry looked at her seriously, “Yeah! Wait—you didn’t get one?”

“Nope.” Y/n answered causing Harry to slump into his seat with his arms crossed. Josh and Y/n laughed at the man.

“Hey man, Y/n doesn’t need it, she’s a trained professional.” Josh said in the actress’s defense.

“Y/n, how has Harry been in the spoiling department? Has he let anything slip or almost slip?”

“He’s been doing well. Thankfully, he hasn’t let anything slip out yet, but that’s only cause he makes me answer all the hard questions.” Y/n replied, making quotation marks with her hands when she said the word hard.

Harry raised his hand like a child in primary school.

“I’d like to point out that I just helped us avoid answering the question about the movie by changing the subject.” He stated proudly earning himself a high five from his lovely co-star.

*clip 3 🎬*

“So Harry, we got to meet Eros towards the end of the first Eternals movie. What can the audience expect from him in this sequel?” Silence filled the room as Harry stared at the interviewer with a blank expression.

“Uh—hmm—what can we expect from Eros?” Harry mumbled to himself, looking everywhere but the interviewer.

“Mmm, uh, I-I don’t know.” He tried to answer with a sheepish grin on his lips. Harry fully turned his body to look at Y/n and leaned down to whisper in her ear.

“I need help.” He whispered, though the mic picked it up. Y/n began to whisper in his ear with her hands covering her mouth. Harry’s mouth gaped as if he were going to speak.

“Uh, we get to learn more about him as a character and what he means to the story of the film.” He recited almost childlike.

“What are some things will we learn about Eros in this film—that you can tell us, of course?” The interviewer continued to question, enjoying the interaction between Harry and Y/n.

Harry’s eyes widened as he sheepishly leaned back down to Y/n. She giggled to herself and began whispering in his ear again. Harry’s eyes furrowed before looking at Y/n in confusion.

“Am I allowed to say that?” He asked her.

“Yeah, they mentioned it at the end of the movie.” She explained.

“When?” His tone growing more confused and concerned that he wasn’t aware of the information about his character. Harry scratched his temple with the hand that rested behind Y/n’s chair and placed his hand back where it was.

“When Eros literally entered the scene.” Y/n clarified. Harry awkwardly smiled at the interviewer and sat back into his seat.

“If I get in trouble I’m blaming you.” Harry warned her.

Y/n rolled her eyes at him, “They all know Thanos and Eros are brothers, Harold.” She looks at the interviewer, “Right?”

The interview nodded in confirmation, “Yes ma’am.”

“Well alright then, anyway—.” Harry continued

*clip 4🎬*

“I think I’m not the only one who notices the lovely friendship between you two, you guys are adorable.” The next interviewer, Ana, pointed out.

Harry nudged Y/n cheekily, “Oh, stop it.”

“But you guys really are!” Ana exclaimed at the the two. Harry threw his arm around Y/n and pressed their cheeks together.

“We’re cute aren’t we?”

“We just can’t resist each other, we must be together all the time.” Y/n said, going along with Harry. She grasped his arms around her and squeezed it.

“At all costs. We’re practically attached at the hip.”

Ana laughed at the two actors, “I don’t doubt that.”

*clip 5🎬*

“How was it like working with each other? You guys seem like very great friends so I’m assuming all was well?” Another interviewer, Ben questioned the two.

Harry was seen stretching down in his seat to grab Y/n’s coffee, who was seconds earlier, struggling to pick up her coffee from the floor. He hands her the cup while she thanks him quietly.

“I guess I’ll start, Y/n’s been helping me answer questions all day.” Harry began. Y/n chuckled at him and continued to sip on her straw.

“We really do get on well, Y/n and I. I enjoyed working with everyone in the cast, but I honestly had the best time with her. Y’know, I don’t think I’ve ever admitted this, but I’m a huge fan of her and her work. It was a huge honor to work with someone who’s insanely talented. She puts so much passion in her work and working alongside her is something I’d like to do again. She’s the sweetest and most caring person I’ve ever met and she never fails to make me laugh, I truly adore her.” Harry admiringly answered, fiddling with the rings that wrapped around his long fingers.

“Harry.” Y/n cooed at him, her heart warming at his little speech. Her hand smoothed his back, lightly brushing past his brunette hair.

Harry sniffed and jokingly wiped an invisible tear from his eye, “Gosh, I’m sorry.” Causing Y/n and Ben to laugh.

“Y/n? How about you?”

Y/n smiled to herself, “I mean he’s amazing. Like he said, we got really close to each other on set and we’ve became the best of friends. It was a joy to work beside him, he brought so much energy to set and was an all around sweetheart. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love him, he’s someone you want to always be around and have in your life. It made me really happy and proud to see him on the big screen because he’s so talented and I wish to see him in more films in the future.” She answered beaming at Harry with a glint in her eyes.

Harry rested his chin in his palm and stared at Y/n with the same look in his eyes, “We should just become a two in one deal and film all our movies with each other.”

“That’s not a bad idea, Styles.” Y/n acknowledged.

“It’s a good idea innit?” Harry looks behind the camera and waves his hand, “Get on that, Jeffery!”

[preservationofnormalcy]

For Kringle,

I have some questions about how the elves are being treated in your factory.

1) Is the factory actually made out of wood?

2) Are they given proper safety equipment?

3) Are they being paid fair wages?

4) Are they elves? Because I thought elves were traditionally taller

OF COURSE! I welcome these questions, for I have nothing to hide! A true warrior knows his battles.

Not since the 1940s, hahahaha! Oh, we have our vintage portion of the factory, of course, mainly for...tours, a museum...we make a little money on the side, selling stays in our authentic wood factory, fully furnished. We're usually fully booked!

You tarnish my honor! Would I send a warrior into battle with no axe, no helmet? I would never expect factory worker Candyfeltz or electrician Sparklenose to go onto the floor with no goggles, no gloves...

Ask any of my elves! The work is hard, but the pay is good!

They have roots in....Nordic cultures, cousins to the fae Norman tells me the Office serves here in North America. They are...quite small.

[herrlindemann]

Metal Hammer - February 2002, part 2, interview with Paul and Schneider

Thanks to ramjohn for the scans!

Rammstein are without a doubt currently the biggest German rock band and at the same time the biggest export hit when it comes to hard music. 2001 was the year of the Berliners: release of the third album MUTTER, US, Germany and Europe tour and the publication of the 'Rammstein' book by Gert Hof. Before the Freiburg concert in December, there was a lot to discuss with guitarist Paul Landers and drummer Christoph Schneider.

The intensive tour, which took you through the USA, Australia and Japan to Russia and then all over Europe, is coming to an end. How did you cope with it?

Christoph Schneider: We've been to America twice, and one of the two tours was quite exhausting for us. It was long and just didn't want to end. In between we came home again, recovered, and now I have to say that the European tour is a lot of fun.

Why is Freiburg the only one Germany concert on your route?

Paul Landers: The promoter knew that we also want to play in Germany if the tour goes past it. In Freiburg, however, the fans see the 'Europe' version of our show - not what they are used to. It's a slimmed-down production because we can't be on the road with eight trucks and set up the entire structure due to the long distances. Think of it as a kind of special concert.

How difficult is it to remember the many concerts of this year's tour?

Christoph: I always remember the places when I go there a second time. Paul is different: He mostly remembers the food of the respective region. For me it's more the people or small experiences.

Paul: The concerts that you don't forget are important. Nobody manages to remember 150 concerts - it doesn't have to be. We always sound the alarm, and even when things get a little quieter in the band, the audience doesn't even notice.

Because you've played in many cities, you have the best opportunity for comparison in terms of the audience and their respective reactions. Can you name differences?

Paul: There are two different views. First: the evening performance. Second: the trappings. The environment is much more important than you think. In contrast to the US tour, the shows in Europe were a piece of cake. The concert tour through America seems more like a galley voyage to me. One city is like the other, only the big cities of New York, San Francisco or Los Angeles are the highlights. The rest is almost like an oversized Neubrandenburg - a snoring town without character. The whole thing then degenerates into hard work. The fans are usually as spirited as the climate, but the air burned at the concert. Moscow was also amazing - in general, things are always very hot in the Eastern bloc. Overall, however, I have to admit that certain character traits are the same among Rammstein audiences around the world.

What do you think when Russian or American fans sing along to the German lyrics?

Christoph: That's the coolest thing of all, because right at that second I feel validated for myself and my work. Transporting German beyond national borders and encouraging other people to sing in our mother tongue - that's a special feeling.

Are you worried about how the foreign fans will interpret the lyrics?

Paul: I don't know how good your English was as a kid - mine was lousy. That's why I was sorely disappointed when I found out what 'Smoke On The Water' really means. For me it had something to do with smoking and cigarettes. And that's how people feel about us. Fred Durst said that for 'Sehnsucht' he always understood 'Chainsaw'. Back then at Kraftwerk, instead of ‘driving, driving, driving on the Autobahn’, people understood ‘fun, fun, fun’. They knew ‘Autobahn’. There are funny mistranslations. A song like 'Links 2 3 4' is also difficult to translate, but the fans know that. The only thing that really matters is that the music and the lyrics go well together.

Were you welcomed with open arms everywhere on the US tour? Or were you met with a lack of understanding or did you even have trouble with the authorities?

Christoph: There were more restrictions on our pyro show. Also Christian demonstrators who - like Marilyn Manson - called us devils and blasphemers. Even in London there was such a rally car in front of the door, and the association propagated that one should not get involved with Satan - that is, us.

Paul: When we perform outside of Germany, the fans encourage us to keep singing in German and not start with the English language.

But you tried the two English versions of 'Engel' and 'Du hast'...

Paul: ...and failed miserably. That wasn't because of the English lyrics, but because the songs were written in German. If we were to write a song in English that wasn't German from the start, it could be good. We have nothing against globalization - at least not in the Rammstein context.

Christoph: It worked with 'Stripped' - it doesn't sound stupid when Till sings in English, but it has to be good English lyrics.

Paul: We're lucky that German is such a cool language for evil music. If I were English or Belgian, I would definitely sing in German. When it comes to bad, hard music, nothing beats the German language. English has too much soul, it sounds way too nice. They can turn on a eater or yell around... That leads to the problem that the English have with us in particular. When people hear German texts there, they immediately stand to attention and think that bombs are being thrown at them. We first had to explain that we don't want to start a war, we just want to sing in German. The English still associate the Germans with the bombs that fell on London in World War II - after that they heard nothing before us. Perhaps a Mercedes drives through London from time to time, but other than that, German has negative connotations. Rammstein try to transform the negative image of the Germans in the world into a positive one. The Reichstag also had a negative image. Since Christo covered it, you think differently about it - that's a new component. In a similar way we try to communicate that being German can also mean something good.

Do you see this as a challenge or as a tedious, tiring task?

Christoph: Even if that may sound pompous: I believe that we are pursuing foreign policy. Later, after our death, we will be written with honor in the history books. (Everybody is laughing)

Paul: We consistently get positive feedback on our band because the world is not used to something good in the musical field coming from Germany. That happens far too seldom.

Christoph: In Russia, the children learn German with our texts, and we were very happy about that.

So you had to grow into the task of being an ambassador, because you couldn't have known at the beginning of the band's career that it would take on such proportions, right?

Paul: No, no one could have guessed that we would sell even one record across national borders.

Christoph: In many areas, such as the American Midwest, people have heard nothing else about Germany than Rammstein...

Paul: … BMW also know a few…

What happens after the extended tour?

Christoph: We will take a four to six month break and do a lot with our friends and families during this break. In the summer of 2002, festival appearances are planned - the big European festivals.

Paul: Then money will be collected. Solid. The European tour and another tour of Germany will follow in autumn. Then we want to venture into the next record with a breath of fresh air. We hope that the whole thing will happen a little faster, but the work on MUTTER and the lengthy live activities showed us that we have grown together as a real band more than ever. We come to Stockholm and 12,000 people want to see us, it's unbelievable. It's just us...

Do you fight on tour?

Christopher: Very often! We never agree and that hampers the flow of the band. Democracy within the structure has also reached a limit where it no longer works. Everyone insists on their point of view...

Who then takes the initiative?

Paul: Democracy has not given way to a dictatorship. In the past seven years, we've learned to argue in ways that don't touch the substance. Schneider and I used to almost cut our throats. On the other hand, arguing makes you tired, and the consequence is that not everyone takes care of everything anymore. For example, I stayed completely out of the book. In the coming break we will recharge our batteries so that afterwards we can fight again with fun.

Aren't you afraid of falling into a deep black hole after the band's intensive life together at the end of the tour?

Christoph: Small children and women are waiting for us at home. It's pretty quick to get used to it again...

Paul: Wipe your ass and change your diaper, then you'll feel at home again. On tour you have a kind of royal life, it spoils the character. We're fighting to keep from going insane. But sometimes I enjoy not having to do the dishes or take out the garbage. The food is introduced to me orally, I hardly need to chew anymore...

How did you get along with Slipknot on the US tour?

Paul: In the beginning we had a lot of prejudices and thought they were stupid.

Christoph: It was very inspiring. I can understand that the kids love this band.

Paul: Slipknot stand for a certain quality. In the States, we've also been lumped into the category of bands that the kids listen to but the parents hate. In the beginning we felt like well-to-do old gentlemen and had a little Scorpions syndrome. Slipknot enjoy the same status in America that we had in Germany three or four years ago. The band polarizes strongly and is provocative. We have put our provocative phase behind us. Everyone knows who can expect what from Rammstein. I don't want to use the word 'solid', but you can't believably play the fright of the citizens for seven years.

You find out for yourself that the fans are getting used to Rammstein more and more and that events that would have caused a stir a few years ago are now part of the agenda. Is the consequence that you constantly question yourself and your actions so as not to stand still?

Paul: For as long as we have existed, we have tried not to repeat ourselves. Especially in Germany, we entered the show business at a high level, so that we had to spend enormous sums on the last Germany tour to always go one step further. The fans are also worth that to us.

Christoph: People don't come that often anymore, they keep a certain distance. When we go on tour again, we can set ourselves on fire - because that's what people want to see.

At some point, however, the show can no longer be improved.

Christoph: Yes, a lot is a question of ideas. Going new ways, incorporating new elements is better than multiplying what you are currently doing.

Paul: Ten flames are no better than one - we quickly realized that. A few simple lamps as stage decorations are enough for a good show.

Do you still enjoy performing live?

Paul (laughs): Yes, with 200 concerts a year, that's unavoidable. But we always try to put the unfunny concerts in places where nobody notices.

Christoph: I always tell myself it's an honor to play for so many people every night. I would envy any other band for this state of affairs.

Rammstein as an art form, as a phenomenon, is limited. What could a logical continuation of the band look like?

Paul: We want to dissolve the Goethe Institute and rename it the Rammstein Institute... (laughs)

Christoph: We are maybe just as limited as Kiss. I don't want to pat myself on the back, but we've already achieved a lot. In my opinion, success abroad is the greatest success.

Paul: We do what we want: 'our' music - not because we changed, but because we didn't change.

Could you ever go back to normal jobs? And if so, which ones would they be?

Christopher: No. Because you don't go in one direction to turn back. You go somewhere else.

Maybe someday you will be forced to do it?

Paul: We'd rather stop. We will not go back to the jobs we once learned and grow telephones for strangers. What job an aging rock star has, we don't think about it. All I know is that I won't start with any record company. That's disgusting. I don't want to have anything to do with music-related activities, because then I would always be chatted up on Rammstein. Maybe later I will compose music for films or advertising with Schneider...

So you're not worried when it comes to future issues?

Christoph: Life always takes care of you, you don't have to worry. The new signposts are coming, you just have to learn the ability to see them.

Paul: So far we've been great. The trouble only started when the money came in abundance. We had to learn to remain carefree despite this huge chunk, this lottery win. We then quickly put it on pointlessly, wasted everything, and now we can be more carefree again.

Christoph: You have more worries with money than without.

With Gert Hof's book, which was published in November 2001, you give an intimate insight into your private life for the first time, in that you have been photographed with friends and relatives, among other things. Why?

(Silence)

Christoph: The book should have a bit more colour, and we thought it would be nicer not just to use press photos. For one or the other, it may be interesting to see what Rammstein looks like privately.

Pau: But the amount of privacy is still very low.

The people with whom you can be seen in the pictures, are these the people who are closest to you?

Christoph: Yes, our mothers, our wives, girlfriends, children...

Paul: You can't see all of them, some are standing and even closer, but they'll be in the next book.

I can see you only want to sell books.

Christoph: It was very difficult to find a sensible concept for a Rammstein book. The result is a mix of photos, not too much text, a bit of band history, personal thoughts - I like that.

Paul: I would have liked some explanations about the photos, but I was pretty much alone with that opinion. With Oliver you think what kind of girlfriend he has, but it's his mother. The band wanted the photos to stand alone, leaving fans guessing who it is.

Can you still call yourself spontaneous? After all, the Rammstein entourage is a heavyweight, sluggish monster that, due to its marketing potential, cannot allow any wrong steps.

Christoph: You're right: the bigger, the more cumbersome. Rammstein is an oversized aircraft that needs a huge runway. Before a Rammstein concert can take place, a lot has to be prepared. We can't just take the bus and play.

Paul: Even if we want to add a new song to the program, it takes three to four shows. We submit an application to Schneider, which he ignores, then hesitates at first, but eventually changes it.

Which fans do you prefer? Those who like you because of the music, or those who just like Rammstein's image? Or don't you see any difference?

Paul: We can't choose who we like. As a band you have all the fans to find. this is your job. Anything else would be arrogant. The fans are allowed to say who they think is good and who is shit in the band, but we can't. We play for everyone.

Does it also cause problems that you as Rammstein always have to maintain the image of the tough, grim men and aren't allowed to cry?

Christoph: If we weren't having fun anymore, we would change it. The overly masculine is just a game, we live out a side that fits the music.

Paul: Before Rammstein I played in a fun punk band for ten years and it was a lot harder. Because as a fun punk - Die Ärzte can confirm that - you always have to be funny. The fans throw a beer over your head and you have to come across as nice. At Rammstein I can be 99 percent what I want. Being fierce is easy, it needs no pretense. Even when you're in a bad mood, it's totally awesome. If everything pisses me off, it promotes the show 100 percent. I can stand there like a pawn in a chess game throughout the concert and don't have to bat an eyelash - but the concert is still great.

Christoph: That's why the band is so successful. We convey what we do honestly. I'd like to talk to the doctors and see if they're starting to get sick of always acting funny.

Do you think honesty pays off?

Paul: We used to see it as a weakness that we were so normal in interviews and never tinkered with the image, but always said what we thought.

Christoph: There was a phase when we weren't washed up with the journalists. When the accusations came that we were politically right-wing, they unsettled us and we didn't react properly.

Paul: We even let ourselves be denied because we had no idea. We made up stories and didn't even know what we were talking about.

You must have broken something with that.

Christoph: No one wanted to talk about music, we were constantly being questioned about politics, which really annoyed us.

Can Till actually get carried away with interviews?

Paul: He never has, only in exceptional cases.

Christoph: Many people want to talk to Till because they expect to find out the truth about Rammstein. Actually, he doesn't want to talk, and it wouldn't be good at all because he doesn't have the experience to do so, because he always tries to give official answers...

Paul: He doesn't have the necessary routine.

I rather think that a lot of people have respect or even fear for Till because he embodies the uncouth, coarse block.

Christoph: That's a good thing, we're happy to leave the picture as it is. Till will definitely give interviews at some point, maybe after Rammstein, but we don't want to push him at the moment.

Do you think about solo projects?

Christoph: From time to time, but because we've been together for so long, I can't imagine starting in another band again.

Paul: If I made other music, it would be best if all Rammsteiners were involved. You see it with other bands: When the artists record solo records, the result is usually not nice.

Christoph: If you spend your whole life in a team, however, at some point it's time to make your own borderline experiences.

[asherloki]

Ain't that a turn on?

Stephen strange x reader

Requested by @lady-harvey

I'm doing this promt thingy right now here's a taylor swift one and here is a fluff and smut one if you have any request.

Warnings:- implication to smut!

Y/n has been to Italy for her office tour. So she's been away from Stephen for 2 weeks. They both missed eachother tremendously but work is important afterall. After two weeks it was on Monday when y/n texted Stephen "honey I'm coming home".

He was over the moon, finally they're gonna see eachother in person after a couple of weeks. y/n was freaking excited to meet Stephen, but something was on her mind too. Something, naughty.

Finally she arrived at the airport. And found Stephen standing with a bunch of pink roses,

"Stephen, these are my fav". She said taking them. And giving him a kiss on his cheek.

"I know darling, come let's go home". He said smiling and returning a kiss to her too, taking her hand he lead her to a portal which lead them to Sanctum. There they found America and wong standing, "hey y/n, nice to have you back" said America hugging her.

"Aww thanks sweetie" y/n replied cutely.

"Welcome" said wong

"Thank you, you guys are so kind." Said y/n then looked at Stephen a look that shifted from his eyes to his lips. Stephen noticed it and to divert her he said, "let's put your stuffs in room"

"Alright" she replied smirking.

"And you two" commanded Stephen "why don't call others in, they've been practicing for long".

They went nodding and y/n jumped on the scope to put her lips on his. He kissed her back. Passionately. Then as they pulled away. They smiled to eachother. She again kissed him and pushed him until his back touched the wall infront of the staircase right beside the door. Her lips moved from his lips to his neck giving him hickies, while he took heavy breaths. And finally say, "you really wanna do it now? Here? Anyone can walk on us".

"Oh baby" said y/n , her eyes were full of lust, usually Stephen always takes control, she loves to surrender to him on bed, and let's him please her on his own way but something about her that day, "let me take care of you, right now right here".

"But..." He gulped" anyone can see "

"Oh, ain't that turning you on? It's rather turning me on even more, the thought of getting caught while you're in me, and my one hand and nails digging into the back yours and other tugging your hair, while my legs are wrapped around you and..."

Stephen interrupted her and pulled her to switch position so her back touched wall and she wrapped him with legs.

"While I suck your collarbone and jaw line and kiss those pretty lips." Said he.

[whitewolf2759]

First Meeting-Chris alonso

Hey guys I hope you enjoy this one-shot, I have just started publishing my writing so there may be some mistakes and if you want to view more of my content I will place a link to my youtube below.

You had first been introduced to Chris by Street the both you were raised at the same orphanage until you had been adopted by a nice old couple, however you made sure to stay in contact as he was like a brother in everything but blood.

After being adopted you had moved to the UK which was actually were you were born and raised until the age of six where you had been adopted by couple that were bad parent and chose to leave you when on holiday in America.

You were conflicted about as the UK was where you born but it would make staying in contact with Street harder. After reaching 18 you had followed in your adopter fathers footstep’s and joined the army as a medic.

After just over 19 week of army training as well as 22 weeks of medic training I then served for 4 years doing 2 tours after which I decided to join the military police.

At the age of 29 I had been a member of the military police for 6 years however during this I continued staying in contact with Street. We told each other everything as we comforted each other at every low and celebrated every high, however what we spoke most about was his team and every little shenanigan they got up.

These conversation gelped me decide to take an offer to move to America and work as a liaison between the military police and swat as well as an onsite medic.

///

Hey Chris!" Street waved to me "Come meet someone!"

I put my weights down and jogged over.

"Chris, this is y/n who’s basically my sister. She's going to be working here at SWAT."

"I'm mostly going to be assisting Commander Hicks and helping teams with military based cases as well an injuries if needed. It's not as difficult as what you lot do" You said with shy smile and slight blush at seeing the state Chris is in.

Chris almost didn't even process what you said because she got lost in  your bright eyes and shy smile. Get a hold of yourself Chris.

"Nonsense, you'll be plenty of importance. Welcome to 20-David" Chris say’s with a welcoming smile and dusting of pink of her cheeks at getting distracted shaking your hand.

While the two of you were focused on each othet neither noticed Street watching you both with a raised eyebrow, knowing look in his eyes and smirk slowly rising on his face before hiding it before either of you noticed.

///

You have now be working a swat for a couple of days and Street had introduced you to the rest of the team, while working if you had time you would spend in getting to each other and you made sure to give any teasing material they had on Street to annoy him when he gets in your nerves.

Most of the time you would obviously hang out with Street however you and Chris had also spent a lot of time together. With the amount of time spent with each other you had learned a lot about the other, for example you had learned that Chris loved trying a lot of different activities and she had learned of you love of reading. During all of this your attraction to Chris continued growing, however it only took one event for you to ask her out.

///

 Chris and the team had just returned after taking down a gang’s drug operation and the all got a bit banged a few scratches and bruises, Chris had the biggest wound which was a shallow cut from a knife on her right side.

“Chris you should really had gone to the hospital in case you need stitches” Hondo said in serious but tired voice knowing it was useless trying to get Chris to go the hospital.

“It’s fine it barely grazed me, nothing that wont heal in few days” Chris said in a tired voice just wanting to clean up and get out of her gear.

Both Hondo and Street shared knowing it was useless trying to convince however as they walk into HQ Street spot’s you talking to Hick’s knowing how much you worry about the team he now knows how to get her wound looked at.

“Hey Y/N we’re back” Street say’s catching you attention you glance at them before finishing you conversation with Hick’s.

As you make you way towards them Chris focuses on you seeing your hug your form showing your perfect hourglass figure causing her to get into a trance.

While this is happening the rest of the team leave to take their gear off besides Hondo and Street who share a look and Street indicates to Hondo what his plan is.

“Hey guys heard about the operation hope you all didn’t hurt badly” You said in caring voice your still showing you British accent.

“We’re fine just a few bruises but Chris has a cut she should get checked at” Hondo says in a hopeful tone hoping Streets plan works.

“What, no Im-.”Chris says in a annoyed tone with a slight blush realising she got distracted and they were still going on about her wound, however before she could finish her sentence Street interupted.

“Chris didn’t want to go to hospital so we were hoping you would take a look” Street said giving Chris a knowing look as she shot him an annoyed one in return.

“Sure, Chris meet me in office aftet getting changed” You said leaving no room to argue as head to your office to get your med kit ready.

As you leave Chris watches you getting slightly hypnotised by the jeans hugging against your figure. After shacking her head she look towards Hondo and Street about to argue about what they just did but stopped as they look at her with knowing look’s having caught her so she heads to changing room with a light blush leaving behind the two smiling at her action.

///

30 minutes later Chris enters your office with tank top and jogger's hugging her form causing a slight blush to form on your cheek's before you tell her to sit on your desk as you get stuff to clean her wound.

Chris heads to sit on your desk with a slight smile on her face having caught your blush, a happy feeling filling her at the fact you find her attractive.

You sit on your chair in front of Chris and raise her top just below her breasts, blush returning when seeing her toned form. You start cleaning her wound apologising when she winces at the sting, while this happening you stay quite focusing on her wound while she tells you about the mission

However both of you fail to notice that Chris stops mid way through her story. When you finish you realise she’s stopped you look up and immediately blush.

When she see’s your blush she realises she got so entranced on you while you focused on her cut that she stopped talking.

Not giving her time to talk you get up to get a bandage for her cut and as you come back you see a shy look on Chris face. Smiling to yourself you place the bandage on her and lower her top, as she gets up and begins to leave you stop her.

“What are you doing Sunday?” You ask with a small smile and hopeful look in your eyes.

“Nothing why?” Chris replies while turning back to face you.

“I wondering if you would like go on a date” You said the smile on your face widening as a shocked but happy look crosses Chris’s face.

“I would love to” Chris says a happy but shy smile on her face at the fluttery feeling you caused at the question

You just continue to smile as you walk towards her placing a kiss on her cheek before heading back intent on clearing up so you can finish early and start planning your date.

As you turn Chris watches you with surprise in her eyes before a sweet smile appears on her face as she leaves.

[oliverreedmasterass]

Roxanne - 4k words, Jake insists that everyone should participate in a new drinking game, bets are made, and things almost immediately descend into chaos

Heat Above - 4k words, the guys get up to some hijinks and hair trouble on the set of their Heat Above music video 

It’s Been - 3.8k words, Jake picks a pointless fight with Josh and it takes them one week to finally let it go (oddly enough, based on the Barenaked Ladies song, One Week) 

Argh - 3.5k words, Jake, Josh, and Sam are all little kids, indulging in a fun and dramatic game of imaginary pirates

Sunshine - 2k words, 12 year old Jake meets his famous Gibson SG guitar for the first time

It’s Giving - 4k words, my interpretation of what happened backstage before the guys took the stage in Tucson, slaying the house down with their stage makeup

Stage Fright (pt. 1) - 2.7k words, the guys have to work through some nerves before playing new music at the Sacramento DIG show

Stage Fright (pt. 2) - 3.5k words, the aftermath of the last show of the DIG tour, some angst, and a stressful trip to In N’ Out

They Say It’s Your Birthday - 4.4k words, Danny and Sam take the twins to a karaoke bar to celebrate their 27th birthday

Welcome to My Crib - 2.8k words, Greta Van Fleet gives a home tour for Architectural Digest 

Thirst Tweets - 2k words, Greta Van Fleet react to Thirst Tweets for Buzzfeed 

New York Runaway - 800 words, the GVF group chat is popping off when Sam disappears to New York without any explanation 

Sam Kiszka Sees God While Eating Spicy Wings - 7.9k words, Sam goes on Hot Ones and frankly kinda terrifies Sean Evans

GVF Masterclass Group Chat - 1.2k words, a look at the group chat between Oliver Reed, Cal A Bungah, Chip Bunker, and Dr. JMK

Booze Run - 3k words, the GVF guys come up with a game to make their booze run a bit more entertaining

The Greta Van Fleetles - 3.2k words, GVF go on America’s Got Talent, impersonating one of the most popular bands of all time

Addressing Your Questions and Concerns Pt. 2 - 7.6k words, Literally what the title says lol 

Clowning Around - 4.1k words, Oliver Reed is alive, he’s just stuck in a witness protection program because he accidentally stumbled across a ninja clown crime ring

Rising With the Demons Above - 5.2k words, Greta Van Fleet witness a demonic possession and, of course, end up making things like 20x worse

Ready for the Garden - 1.8k words, Jake reflects on his success, and how Greta Van Fleet finally played Madison Square Garden

Turkey Day - 4.3k words, Jake decides he wants to host Thanksgiving this year, and Josh is immediately skeptical that he's up to no good 

Prime Suspects - 8k words, The GVF guys find themselves caught in a heap of trouble. The problem is, they can't quite work out what they did.

Growth - 2.4k words, Danny will go to great lengths to ensure that he can grow facial hair

Hexed - 27k words, Jake physically can’t stop singing and dancing and it seems that there must be some dark magic involved. Will the guys be able to get Jake back to normal before their show?

Summer of 69 - 39k words, Greta Van Fleet somehow manage to travel back in time to the Woodstock Art and Music festival

The Frozen Light - 48k words, In the quiet town of Frankenmuth, a string of missing persons cases opens a wider question about who is to blame, drawing a deep divide between the town and its hidden supernatural residents. 

Battle of the Bands - 29k words, A young Greta Van Fleet find hope in a local battle of the bands competition to finally catch their big break.

Episode 1 - 5k words, Josh struggles with writer’s block, Jake is certain he’s being haunted, and Sam and Danny are engaged in an intense prank war

Episode 2 - 6.7k words, The members of Greta Van Fleet deal with loss: Josh loses his beloved notebook (which Sam attempts to find) and Jake and Danny get hopelessly lost in the woods

Episode 3 - 5.9k words, After an incident involving Jake's amp, he's determined to win the cash to buy a replacement. Meanwhile, Josh and Danny choreograph a dance for a music video and Sam's clumsiness makes him see red. 

The One Where They Play Monopoly - 1.5k words, On a slow day, GVF decides to play a friendly game of Monopoly that winds up being anything but that

Greta Van Fleet Go To A Haunted House - 4.7k words, GVF make their way to a haunted house for shits and giggles.