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grimmdeltarune · 2 months

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Random Chapter Three Secret Boss Ideas I Threw Together For No Reason.

Hi Y'all! It's been a good bit since I've made a new secret boss. Actually, now that I think about it, it hasn't. The latest one was. . .MIKE-MAYHEM TWENTY-THREE DAYS AGO??? I must of lost track of time. In that case, why don't I show off a collection of designs based on some ideas I had, some theories I enjoy, and some horror movies that I find interesting.

Up first we have Shioreta! Shioreta is my take on what I'd like to call Dragon Theory. It's basically just that the Secret Boss of Chapter Three will be the How To Draw Dragons Book and may explore the themes of Asriel's True Nature. For Shioreta's Design, I based it off of the description of the dragon, Susie, stereotypical Japanese school girl attire, and a bit of inspiration from Sailor Moon. My idea for her lore is that she was abandoned by Asriel and has become a bit of an psycho who desperately wants a friend. She lives in a singular grayscale room with filled with flowers and a cherry Blossom tree, the petals of which would be blood red.

The next design on the choppin' block is Mirrorscare! This design is based on the one and only Scream franchise and is based on the "faker" trope that I've seen quite a bit in Secret Boss circles. Mirrorscare pretends to be Asriel or Ralsei or one of the goat people and eventually tries to attack the Fun Gang. That is honestly all of the lore I have for them.

And now we have the one and only RIPley! Listen, I freakin' love Evil Dead. It is stupid gorey fun that can get REALLY dark and messed up. My idea for RIPley came from the bouquet given to Toriel. I'd say that the flowers eventually wilted which gave rise to something sinister. . .something evil and dead. . .RIPley's design is based on flowey (specifically one of his creepy faces), Ash Williams, the Deadites, and their arm is suppost to be made of lost assets. I guess you could say that they were assets that died in production, ayy? AYY???

Also, yes. They have the Necronomicon.

Finally for this batch of designs, we have an idea that was brought to my attention by my lovely friend Glitch! So, without further adieu, please welcome Saudade!

Saudade is supposed to be an old family recording of a happy memory of the Dreemurr Family. This now acts as her hitlist, as she stalks the land searching to find the 4 Remaining. . . She's inspired by The Ring and all of the creepy VHS tape goodness that comes with it! Her fight would probably have her come out of a TV to fight the Fun Gang.

And that, my friends, wraps up this collection of designs. I hope you found at least a few of them enjoyable and that you had just as much fun as I did designin' these freaks. To be totally honest with y'all, Mari absolutely popped off with RIPley. I may never recover from how sick they were able to make that freak. If you made it this far, you my friend get to have some bonus content featuring Buddy Bloomy!

Buddy Bloomy was made by @glitch-the-artist , who also gave me the idea for Saudade!

Have a wonderful day and I hope to see y'all some time in the future!

#deltarune oc #deltarune #deltarune secret boss #deltarune fan character #secret boss #deltarune chapter 3 #Collection of designs #Shioreta #Mirrorscare #RIPley #Saudade #You can also ask all of these new freaks #I'd highly encourage it to be honest #If this gets more than 15 Notes I'll make the concept I had for an American Psycho Secret Boss a reality.#I'm not kiddin'#Buddy bloomy Dr

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ozzgin · 9 months

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Can I have Yandere Ben Drowned with Reader as powerful Eldritch being like Nyarlathotep, Hastur(it’s ok if you don’t know them, if you don’t know them, then a reader who is powerful being like Bill Cipher instead.) A reader still loves Ben so much after all.

I have no idea who Bill Cipher is (Google shows me a funky triangle), but if you want Lovecraftian horror you’ve come to the right place! I mostly read Gothic fiction so I’m very excited to see familiar names pop up in my requests. Thank you for the prop.

Yandere! Creepypasta x Eldritch! Reader

Featuring Ben Drowned and an ancient reader of cosmic origins. Abstract romance.

The world is a disorder of matter and antimatter that has come together through analytical laws of unknown origins. And yet somehow, throughout this chaos of slithering threads and tentacles, one path in particular has led him to you. The Dweller of the Depths, The Devourer of Space. Surely the Universe could not have conceived such fate out of a mere string of coincidences. Perhaps your hand crept its way into the mechanisms of the world itself to force the necessary arrangements, but Ben lacks the very fundaments to even begin to imagine such a process. His existence is a brief flash of light compared to your seemingly eternal linger.

(Y/N). That’s how he’s known you ever since your encounter. He quickly learned, however, that your name stretches and turns and rolls so differently out of the tongues of many mortals and creatures. You have many names, some so old and ancient that even you have to ponder their veracity. He has never questioned your origins and would rather not delve into incomprehensible cosmic history. Would having all the answers change anything? Not at all. He’s known it from the very beginning. The instant he laid his eyes on you and his blood froze in place - as if his very tissue became autonomous and cowered before your presence - he knew. He was immediately enraptured by your blasphemous, boundless being. From the nethermost bowels of the Nameless Mist, your vile essence leered down at him. He was overwhelmed, nauseous with unspeakable terror, fear and … love. Adoration. Obsession.

And so his purpose was rather clear. What greater cause could there be other than serving you? In his most feverish dreams he wouldn’t have dared to hope for your acceptance, and yet you welcomed him with open arms. You’ve had many servants and followers, prophets that wandered the world to warn of the mythical horned beast. All dull theatrics that bored you greatly. You hold no interest for perishable humans. Ben, on the other hand, caught your attention quite rapidly. A smudge in the orderly principles of reality. A spontaneous glitch of Earthly origins that alerted you out of your slumber. What could have caused his birth? The novelty of this mystery amuses you, so much that you’ve decided to keep him by your side.

An abyssal creature of forgotten genesis and a digital entity of unexpected source. Perhaps this bizarre partnership will eventually sneak its way into the forbidden Necronomicon for the future generations to uncover. Although Ben is more concerned with ways to profess his undying dedication to you. He might have walked these realms for a much shorter time, but he has an eternity left to catch up. As long as he’s blessed with your presence, everything else becomes trivial. He has found his reason to live and he will cling to it forever.

#creepypasta #creepypasta x reader #yandere creepypasta #creepypasta headcanons #ben drowned #ben drowned x reader #eldritch reader #yandere #cosmic horror

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comfortablecomfort · 8 months

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Zombies aren't Ticklish!

Ler: Edd

Lee: Tord

"Is the coast clear?"

Zombie apocalypse, one hell of an event

Tord got bitten by one of Matt's zombies, but unlike the rest of them, he might still have a brain

Edd checked through the windows and slammed the door shut.

"Yep, we're good" Edd reassured

"God dammit." Tord muttered

"What's the matter?" Edd asked as he sat next to Tord

"If only I wasn't bitten in the first place, none of this would've happened." Tord grumbled

"It's not your fault. It's Matt's. He started all of this anyway." Edd gave Tord a pat on the back

"Yeah, but I just want to find that stupid necronomicon and get it done with." Tord sighed

"Don't worry, I promise you, we'll find it before Matt does." Edd smiled

"Alright, I guess I should lighten up." Tord tried to smile

I think I know what'll cheer you up." Edd gave a cheeky grin

But Tord rolled his eyes, he already knew what was gonna happen

Edd's smile faded a little

"Edd, don't even try it. Zombies aren't-" Before Tord could finish his little rant, he squeaked when Edd poked his side

"Sorry, what did you say?" Edd smiled again, that bastard.

"I sahaid.. Zombies aren't - Aha!" Tord gave the same reaction when Edd repeated the process

"They aren't what? Ticklish? Because you sure are." Edd teased and moved a bit closer

"I'll bihite yohou!" Tord warned, but it was drowned out by his giggling

"You won't." Edd finally targeted Tord's hips, the zombie communist screeched

"EHEHEDD I SAIHAID NOHO!" Tord squealed

"Not so cocky now, huh?" Edd asked, the teasing not going anywhere.

"Mhmhmhm! I DOHON'T NEED THIHIS! STAHAP!" Tord tried not to beg

"You're being moody, of course you need this!" Edd whined

But he knew just how to make this situation even better

He lifted up Tord's hoodie slightly

"Edd, l-let's just- GAHAHA NO BIHITING!"

Tord lost it when Edd nibbled his hips softly.

Tord just gave up on fighting and accepted it.

"Sorry." Edd got off of Tord.

Only to nearly be bitten by him.

"Hey! What was that for?!" Edd asked, a little shocked from the sudden move

"Y-You know damn well what it was for.." Tord panted

"You're welcome." Edd giggled

"Idiot."

(Uggghhh, my head hurts and I'm at school. Also, sorry if the nibble part was a bit weird. I wanted to make it cuter.)

HAPPY SPOOKY MONTH @eunchancorner

#eddsworld #eddsworld tickles #ler!edd #lee!tord #ticklish!tord #sfw tickling community #ticklish nibbles

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nokingsonlyfooles · 10 months

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WTYP: The Shandor Building, Part 1 [take 2, the long post vs Tumblr's formatting]

[Do you like the colour of the fanfic? This is long and if you expand it you're gonna get the whole thing, because Tumblr hates you. Don't say I didn't warn you!]

[Beware of strong language, mention of all kinds of death, gore, and Lovecraftian horror.]

Part 1: Hello and Welcome to Shandor Studios (it's weird)

[TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE: The moon was waning and a raven was tapping on my window when I discovered a heretofore unknown tier at the WTYP Patreon page. It was called "Pazuzu" and cost $6.66 USD. It had one listed benefit "bonus bonus episode." I unlocked a single unnumbered bonus episode titled "Ibo Shanor" and subtitled "train bad actually." Judging from the dialogue, it dates to summer 2023. Since it lacked any closed-captioning, I took the liberty of transcribing it, and coping most of the slides for your edification. (Not really, this is a work of fiction.) I have styled Ms. Caldwell-Kelly as "Alice" since she still seems to be using that in podcast land at this time. Please support WTYP!]

[SLIDE: Shandor Studios, an art deco style building with some familiar-looking gargoyles perched on it, and poor JPEG compression, with an inset of the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man. Captioned: Will the Real Ivo Shandor Please Stand Up?]

JUSTIN ROCZNIAK (R): Hello, and welcome to Well There’s Your Problem, a podcast about engineering disasters with…

LIAM ANDERSON (L) [chanting]: Studio! Studio! Studio!

R: …with slides.

L: Studio! Suck it, Discord!

ALICE CALDWELL-KELLY (A): It’s quite nice, actually. There’s a little break room, and somebody left us one of those edible arrangements, and a paperback Necronomicon…

DEVON (D) [text over slide]: IT WAS ACTUALLY VERY NICE. I HAD MY OWN CONTROL ROOM. BUT IT WAS NOT WORTH IT.

L [distorted, too close to the mic]: My audio sounds amazing! This bonus episode is about Liam’s cool mic!

A [obligingly]: Yay, Liam’s cool mic.

R: It’s made of meat, though.

L: What, my cool mic?

R: No, the edible arrangement in the break room. They’re usually made of fruit, this one is made of meat. Raw meat.

A: Yes, I was wondering if that was an American thing. [laughter] I’ve never been to Massachusetts before!

L: It’s Innsmouth, Alice. Nobody’s ever been to Innsmouth. It doesn’t technically exist.

R: It’s not even on Google Maps.

A: Is it sort of a, er, township? Unincorporated township?

R: It’s more of a, uh, cult.

A: Like an MLM?

L: Like Christianity!

R: Well, a bunch of fish people founded it in the late eighteen hundreds…

L: Fucking fish.

R: …and let’s say they got up to some questionable activities.

A: Anything I should be worried about?

R: Well…

A: I did travel here by interdimensional portal and that’s just a bit… off-putting? It’s very convenient, but…

L: Swimming, having gills…

R: I took the train.

L: Just breathe air, you little shits!

A: Did they not offer you an interdimensional portal, then?

R: No, they did, I just said I’d rather take the train.

A: How was it?

R: Not bad. It was made of meat, though. The train. Smooth ride. Turns out meat is an excellent shock absorber, just not very practical. There was a flock of ravens trying to eat us the whole way.

A: That’s… a bit odd.

L: Brian Phelps.

R: Brian Phelps is made of meat?

L: No, Brian Phelps is a fucking fish. [shouting, too close to mic again] You’re not fooling anyone, Brian! God, I could go for some salami. Is there any salami in the meat bouquet?

R: There is definitely not any salami in the meat bouquet.

L: I’m gonna make myself a sandwich!

[scraping sound, footsteps, door opens and closes]

A: It’s nice having a studio, though.

R: It’s not bad. I like these chairs with the wheels. Good lumbar support. How was the portal?

A: Terrifying, but brief. Very brief. It materialised right under me in the dairy aisle of Tesco’s, then I was in this howling green tunnel for about five seconds, and then I was here. On the one hand, I didn’t have to show my passport or go through security, but on the other hand, I’m just slightly concerned I might have cancer. Or a prion disease. [nervous laugh] Or maybe I’ll turn into a fish person. Did you mean literal fish people?

R: Yes.

A: I suppose… Someone got very lonely and fucked a fish, or…?

R: Yes.

A: What? Are you being serious? What kind of a fish… Do you mean mermaids?

R: No. In fact, mermaids have a notorious design flaw when it comes to sexual congress with us human types. What you’re after, as a lonely sailor, is an animal known as the “reverse-mermaid,” which is widely regarded as a joke, and depicted as the head and torso of a fish, with human legs, and presumably genitalia, underneath… [drawing a reverse-mermaid on the slide, with the mouse, badly] But which is in fact more of an elder god by the name of Dagon, which does indeed have legs and genitalia, but is more of a fully-anthropomorphic monstrous fish. [drawing monstrous legs and feet] He’s a bit larger and taller. Here, I’ll put a “D” for Dagon. [draws arrow] And the rest of him is up there.

A: As a lonely sailor myself, I don’t see how something like that is any more fuckable than a regular fish. Or a manatee. Frankly, I’d rather fuck a manatee. At least it’s a mammal.

R: Yeah, but you’d be violating the Endangered Species Act.

A [laughing]: I’m sorry, aren’t they endangered? We want them to fuck! You told me to save the manatees, well I’m out there doing it! And then I’m going to save the whales!

R: Debatable whether creating a race of half-human, half-manatee hybrids is saving the species…

A: Are you some kind of fucking manatee eugenicist? If the manatee and I are both consenting adults, and we fancy each other, then leave us the fuck alone! This is how evolution works!

R: In the mind of Donald Trump, yes.

[door opening and closing]

D [text over slide]: I COULD EDIT THAT OUT BUT I’M TOO TRAUMATISED AND DRUNK.

L: You guys… Is that supposed to be a fucking fish?

R: No. It’s the legendary reverse-mermaid.

L: Well, I only respect half of it! Here. The meat bouquet started screaming when I cut into it, so I grabbed some doughnuts.

A: Oh, are there doughnuts? The meat bouquet has a way of…

L: You didn’t hear it?

R: The meat bouquet?

A: …of arresting one’s attention…

L [excited]: The soundproofing in here is fucking incredible!

D [text over slide]: IN RETROSPECT, THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN A RED FLAG.

A: Out of sheer, morbid curiosity, did the doughnut scream?

L: Doughnuts don’t scream.

R: Do the doughnuts scream in… in the UK?

A: …No, not usually. Perhaps, perhaps on the continent, but not usually in Britain. They’re very stuffy and well-behaved.

L: And transphobic.

A: Of course.

L: Do you want one of these?

A: Er, I rather think… I’d better not eat or drink anything until another portal opens up and sends me home. Just in case this is a Persephone sort of situation…

R: Probably a good idea.

L: Low blood sugar kills, Alice. [muffled, chewing]

R: You’ll wind up married to Hades and having to spend six months out of the year in Massachusetts.

L: I’m spending twelve months out of the year in this studio, I don’t care if it’s in Massachusetts. If I have to, I will marry Hades twice.

R: Nah, you see, that’s not legal in Massachusetts. You’d be in a bigamous relationship with yourself.

L: Well, then one of you has to do it. Daddy needs his new mic. These chairs are awesome too!

[rumbling, squeaking]

A: I’m already in a very committed relationship with the Mothman, actually. We go around collapsing bridges and making appearances just out of camera frame. It’s quite fun.

R: Alice is actually a cryptid wanted across several New England states.

A: Yes, I’d like very much to get back to it, and not get cancer or die! [nervous laughter] Ah, shall we get on with the episode?

L: I’m never leaving this studio. You will pry this microphone from my cold, dead hand.

A: Intros? Did we do intros?

R: It’s a bonus episode, they already know us.

D [text over slide]: HONESTLY IF WE’D JUST DONE THE INTROS, IT WOULD’VE SAVED US A LOT OF TROUBLE.

A: Right…

R: But we do have [news drop] the God Damn News.

Part 2 will be another post, give me a minute and I'll link it...

#wtyp #well there's your problem #ghostbusters #long reads #fanfic #fanfiction #crossover fic #gozer the gozerian #alice caldwell-kelly #liam anderson #justin roczniak #devon #engineering disasters #podcast

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hplovecraftmuseum · 9 months

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Lovecraft and animals, Part 11: Crabs - Crabs or alien beings with crab features appear most clearly with The Fungi From Yuggoth. These 'space crabs' resemble crustaceans in that they are multi- limbed with legs that end in clippers or claws. Usually, they have heads formed of a mass of fungi-type material. The "Fungi' communicate with their own kind by displaying a variety of shifting colors on the toadstool cranial structure. They are capable of mimicking the voices of humans but the result often resembles a sort of buzzing insect tone. Al-Azif, the origional Arabic title of The Necronomicon, supposedly represents the droning sound of insects buzzing in the desert - flies buzzing around a corpse perhaps? The "Great Race" creatures featured in THE SHADOW OUT OF TIME have a large pair of crab-like claws at the ends of their extendable arms. Clicking these claws together in somewhat 'Morse Code' style is how they communicate with each other normally. Back to our mushroom/ crab friends: The Fungi from Yuggoth entities hail from Yuggoth (the 'planet' Pluto) which was first discovered around the time Lovecraft wrote THE WHISPERER IN DARKNESS in which they appear. Ultimately, however, they come from some place in time and space far more distant. How these alien monsters made it to earth is a real puzzler. Lovecraft suggests that they fly from planet to planet on 'aether resisting wings', wings that only serve them clumsily here on earth? Considering the speed that they would need to travel at to reach something even so close as our own moon anytime in the near future renders that idea as pretty rediculous! Lovecraft was a dedicated Astrologer as a youth. He wrote articles on the subject for a local newspaper when he was a teen. HPL was also a welcome visitor to the Ladd Observatory near his home in Providence RI. Even he must have understood how preposterous the idea of flying on wings through space was. Still, Lovecraft disliked machines generally, so spaceships never really make a defined showing in his fiction. As a fiction writer Lovecraft frequently toyed with concepts that he would have found utterly absurd in real life. (Exhibit 419)

#lovecraft #Lovecraft and crabs #the fungi from yuggoth #the great race of Yith

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froms8nsashes · 9 months

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Different but Similar

Summary: the necronomicon sends Sam into a completely different universe, but the price was both Taurtis and Grian and everyone he knew from his universe. Instead of having his friends he instead has Coolment, but there's something familiar about a girl in his class.

T/w: derealization/depersonalization

"Okay, okay. I'll be showing you dweebs around the school for your first day or whatever." She stood a bit taller than both of them and had her arms crossed. "As much as I don't want to be doing this I have to admit getting paid is the only plus."

"That is... Awfully welcoming..." The boy with mint hair took a step back.

"It's the first day, it's not like we need someone to show us around." The boy with the bunny hat narrowed his eyes.

"What? No introduction? Not even going to tell me your names?" The pink haired girl tilted her head.

For a second Sam's head hurt. He felt like he was having a migraine. Grimacing and rubbing his temple he felt like he already knew her name, knew who she was, but her hair was brown before. Not pink.

"Fine. You can call me Ridley."

"I'm Sam, and this is Coolment!" He introduced the both of them.

"Not T̴̨͎̺̪̤͓̭͖̺̙͕̼̦͙̪͍̎̋̏̑̎̀͝a̸̧̨̬̥̤̟̻̍̽̃͂̆̓̆̓̈́̿́͘̚ù̵͚̬̟̦͈́̐̍̌̈́̃̏̎̅͗͑̓̈́̈́̂̓͠r̸̨̦̜͔̮̲̫̱̪̍̀̅̋̔́̀͝ṱ̴̨̧̨͙̝̖̲͖̼̖̫͉̤͉̈́͒̐̓̂͊̂̓̿͊̎̅͘͜͠͝į̶̡̣̘̠͉͈̲̫͕̟̖̰̳̮̜̏s̴̡̨̡̛̗̟̝̙͍̫̳̼͎͕̘̺͙̯̤̙͉̘̓̆̊̅̊̎̒̈́̓̍̈́̈́͜ͅ ̴̮̳̈͑̊̊̎̉͋̾͐̃̂̈́͘͠ỡ̴̯̾̅͌̈́̊́̑̓̐̏̍̄̑̄̌̽̾̍̐̚̚͝ŗ̸̡̡̻̩̰̗̮͇̳̤̝̘̰̥͍̺̮͖̙̘̦̱̪͔̩͓̫̲̓̅͛̎͊͂͜͠ ̶̢̫̺̫̜̬͓͚̦̙̬̳̝͌̋̿̄̿͛͌̉G̵̡̧̢̛̛̥͔̣͖̞̘̥̜̥̼̞̼͇̖̫͎͎̳̜̤͆̿͛͌̔̂͗́̂̆͆̀̾͂̓̍͊͐͌̚͠͝͝ͅr̷̛̖̗̲͈̠̃͑͊̏͆̔͐͝͝i̶̼͙̩͑̌̏͂̊͌̆͒͒͂̔̏͋̎̈́͆̅͂͊̀̾́̑̔͘͠͠ͅa̵̧̨̰̬̺̪̫̬̩͇͚̙̤̪̭̝̤̤̓̈̋̎͛̐̊̏̎̅̈́̂̏̚͝͝ń̶̡͇͇͔̙͙̮͚̗̼̟͍͚̫̹̹͜ ?"

"Huh?" Sam tilted his head."

"I didn't say anything." Ridley blinked twice. "Must be hearing things." She shrugged.

"We know where our classes are." Coolment chuckled.

It felt off. The current scene felt wrong. Sam turned and stared at Coolment. Did he even know who he was? Then he looked at Ridley. She felt so important, yet so unknown entirely. Sam shook his head to rid him of those thoughts, even though the hair on his arms stood on end.

He couldn't pay attention as Ridley and Coolment chatted, it was as if his ears were clogged with water. Sam just watched as their mouths moved. Were they always this cartoon like? He trailed behind, looking down at his schedule as if it weren't real in his hands to begin with. He reached up and felt at the hat on his head, they were real bunny ears weren't they?

The walls were closing in and suddenly he couldn't breathe. Not to panic or alert either Coolment or Ridley he cut into the bathroom and closed himself in a stall. It was all wrong. It felt wrong. Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong.

He was clutching at his chest, pulling at his tie. Trying to relieve the pressure that was crushing his lungs. He gasped for air that was empty and void. It was like something was swimming around in his head. Thumping against his skull.

"Isn't this the way it's supposed to be?"

His eyes widened when he saw a shadow at the bottom of the stall. Both Coolment and himself have already made a bunch of enemies as it is, there was no way someone was already trying to mess with him for no reason. When the stall opened he saw Coolment staring at him with this strange gaze, his eyes weren't yellow anymore. Sam pressed himself as far back as possible.

"Wha- Coolment what do you mean?"

"Isn't everything like how it was before? You have your house, your school, your girl."

"What is going on... "

"Sam, why are you hiding in the bathroom?" Coolment asked, his voice was back to normal and he has a smile on his face.

"I- Wha- How- " Sam stared at Coolment for a few moments and then he pushed past the cat-boy and splashed cold water on his face.

"C'mon! Class is about to start!" Coolment hooked his arm with Sam's and pulled him along to the room on their schedule.

"Wait- Where did- "

"This places looks so cool!" Coolment exclaimed, interrupting his friend.

The classroom looked like something right out of a Harry Potter book. Sam swallowed his words and tried to put whatever happened at the back of his mind. The last thing he needed was to freak out again.

Sam watched Ridley from across the cafeteria. Laughing and talking with her friends. Every once in a while he would glance at Coolment who looked very, very unfamiliar all of a sudden. It was weird to realize his friend who had always been by his side was someone he had never even seen before.

It had been a week since they started school and his feeling hadn't gone away. It had only gotten worse.

The world looked less and less real, and for a second Ridley looked like she had brown hair instead of pink hair. The beanie on her head looked like furry wolf ears. Blinking and rubbing his eyes he squinted and Ridley was just wearing a beanie.

"You're staring at her a lot, do you like her?" Coolment wiggled his eyebrows.

"What! No!" Sam's face turned red rather quickly.

"Are you sure?" Coolment teased.

"Yes! I don't even know her!"

"Then get to know her."

"What- "

"Go on, get your girl." Coolment lightly shoved Sam out of the bench.

Sam fell on his face and groaned. Ridley looked over and winced. Rubbing his nose he peeled himself off the floor and walked towards the girls table. Instead of feeling confident and self assured a wave of insecurity and embarrassment washed over him. It was strange how it sprawled outward along his body and seemed to wrap itself around his chest.

"I- uh- " For some reason he had a carrot in his pocket and the only thing he could think of was throwing it on the table and then he ran away.

"Wait- Sam!" Coolment started after him.

A wave of deja vu washed over him as he stood in the corner, hiding. His fingers tingled and one of the bunny ears twitched on his hat. He most certainly had done something like this before. Why was he doing it again?

"I thought you wanted to try again? At least it isn't Sookie, so you don't have to be rejected and torn apart."

Sam jumped when Coolment was standing behind him.

"What the fuck?!"

"What? I just asked if something happened." Coolment scratched his neck.

"Nothing happened. I just threw a carrot and then ran."

"Damn man, you really don't have skills with the ladies."

"It's not my fault!"

"No, really, it is your fault."

"Ridley, I need to talk to you. Without Coolment." Sam was looking at his feet.

"Yeah, sure! What's up!"

Coolment looked between them, a big smile on his face. Sam grabbed her by the arm and dragged her far away from the mint-haired cat-boy. His palms were sweaty but she didn't complain, and that's what made his suspicions worse.

"Ġ̴̨̡͙͖̺̞͔̟͍̹̣̪̫̥̙͓̳̝̝͕̄̆́̅̈́̈́̇͋͛̄́͐̕͜͜͠͝o̶̦̯͎͙̰̟̥̩̭̫̻̱̪͇̪̬͔̫̗͙͚̗̣̓̉̾̐̔͌͗͂͑̓̎̽̈̍̂͒̆͒͂̚͠d̸̟̠͓̗͕̦͈̱̱̭̖̖̥̫̩͙̀̾̄̈̓̈́,̷̧̧̧͈͈̯̟̏͐͌̆̓̐͝͝ͅ ̸̨̧͈̰̗̞͕̭̯̮̮͈̫̩͔̞̯͉̼͌̕͠ď̶̨̨̧̙̦̼͖̯̮̖̩̣̤̦̹̳̆́̏̑̀͑͒̓̃̑͛̌̿͘͠͝ǫ̸̯̺͇̹̘͈̰̟̜̤̰̱̟̻̘̜̥̍̈̊̈́̑͘n̵̺͕͙̲̗̗̤͔̣̄̇͒̂͛͘'̷̮̫̝̻̭̝̹͍̬̜̦̯̯̯͓͆̄̇͛͑̅̐͋̽̑͐͂̄̑̑̒̓͌̒̍͗̊͠t̶̛̝͇̬̙̲̳͚̮͎̙̐͒͒̏͒̔̑͊̓̀͌͝ ̷̛͚̹̻̻͎͍̐͊̏̏̀͋̀̌̌͒̈́̂͘̕͝y̵̢̭̮̪͇̯̞̦͒̔̑̂͘ͅo̷̧̮̟͇̦̩͍̒͐̂͐ų̷̨͉̼̠̯͈̙͙̣̦̭͎͖̗͙̞͓̬͈̼̃̄͗͐̔̐̾̓͐͗̾̓̑̂͘ ̵̛͚͇͉̺̖̙̳̦̘̪͋͐͊̅̅͆͐͒̋̌̿̌̾ͅe̷̓̈́��̨̧͖̥̙̙̮͕̲̟̬̩͇͖̺͉̩͚͎̟̌̍͊́̅͜͜͜v̷̡̨̰̭̟̪̘̘̤̳̹̥͙̟́̑̈̉̆́̿̍̄͊̽͝ͅe̴̛̺̦̬͍̩͖̙̝͈͖͐̀̏̔̎̀̀̉̋̅̒̅́̎̊̚͘ř̵͙̪̥̻̥̓ ̵̟̯̅̆̉͊̈́̈́̎̌͛̽́̐̊̅̒͝͝s̴̛̫̖̗̳̝̝̲̠̮͚̞̰͕̜̽̽̐͋̑́̋̓̅̌͂̅̈́͌̀͊͘͠͠t̴̡͍̘͌̽͋̈́̏͂̋̂͌̊̿̚ö̸̡̢̨̢̤͓̙͍̩͔͇̖̗̰̳̤̻̺̱̋̓̀͐̉̓̾̔̊͗̏̓̓̍̓̒͠ͅͅp̷̨̢̝̼͈͉̩̬̩̪̈́͑̏̎̄̎̔͌ ̴̛̠̺͕͔͓̗̳̮͓̀̃̾͑̂̏̈̏̆̈́́͜ş̵̛̪̖̱̣͚̏̾̈́͒͋͐͒̊̃̇̎̒̂̔́̐̅͑̇̈͠w̴̟̼͗̿̆͂͊͂̑͂̏͋̚̚̚͜͝͝ę̶̲͈͙̑̿ä̶̩̻̟̟͔̜̺̲̦͍̱̹͉͜t̸̡̡̡̠̦̤̻̪͎̬̰͎͕̥̯̹̙̼̥̠̬̮̂̉̿ỉ̵̢̧̢̧̛̫͈͉͍̮̩̥͙̥̮̞͉̻̩̥̃̑͒͛͒̄͊ņ̷̢̮̻̝̩̫͔̼̺̿̇̇̌̇̄̈̀͐̿̈́̌̊̌̐̍̕ǧ̵̛̛̲̙͍͙̪̅̓̀̈̾͛̂̿̉͋̕͜?̵̞̙̰̟̬̗̝͉̋͆͑̈́̌̆̄̆̆̉̒̆͛̐͒̐̅͛̽́"

"What?" Sam asked, staring at her with wide eyes. Bags had been forming under them. He looked exhausted.

"I didn't say anything." She smiled sweetly at him, batting her eyelashes.

"Have you- Have you been noticing weird things happening?"

"Y̷̨̡͎͓͈͓̹̩̳͕̣̻̩̻͇̅̍̉̐̐̽͜͝ê̷̡̧̨̦̜͙̙̟̈̃ą̴̹̣̲͔̪͔͇̥̺̹͎͎̯͑̂͑́̊̔͊̈́̚͝ͅȟ̵̨̹͓͙͕͈̬͔̺̣̞̺̩̯̳̇̐͊̓̿̍͋̊͆,̴̧̨̧̢̼̣͔̞̗̯̻̖͎͓̬͎̯̿̽̒͒̊͆̇́́̓̒̓͜͜͠ ̴̡̛͚̣͖͕̥̦̯́̀̀͑̊͗̄̐̓̂̒̀̂̕̕͝ỳ̶̡̞͍̜̯̻̂́̂͋̈́͘ͅo̶̧̡͈̩̳̫̪̝̻̦͈̥̭̲͎̪̫̞̻͌̈́̂̄͒̃̄͆͋̅̈̏͂͛̉ų̶̧̯̫̳̞̬͙̬̻̙͕͉̘̑͊̽̑̋̅̓͑̈́̋̓̒̊̑̐̃̇̚r̸̛̗̠͕͚̬͖̰̪̘͒̔̌̅͑̓͂̓̓̍̇̇̕͘ͅ ̸̟̙̦͍̯̖͖̜̫̞̻̭̲̆̆̓͛̃̈́̆̅̏͝͠f̸̢̪̥̠͕͉̖̹͇̝̈́̈́̈́̀̇̐̂̿́͝͝ǎ̴̹͖̭̓͐̂̿͑̋̅͘͠͝ć̴͇̙͕͈̻͒̎̍̚e̷̲̞̠͔̖̬̔͛͑̏͑̈́̔͋̍̑̎͌̂̍̐̽̈́ ̴̮͉͇̲͚̰͔̏͛̋͗̾̐̔̕͜i̵̱̬̙͈̐̀͌̿͐̄͌͒͘s̴̡̨̛̛̛͕̤͎̟͖͔̱͕͉̫̺̼̱̼̜͔̀́͗́̀͆̇̏̇̾͝͝͝ ̴̧̨̨̳͖̺̖̻͍͕̗̻͓̔̊̌̃͗̈́̑̽͗͒͒͘̕͝ŵ̶̱̰̺͇͚̞̤̃̉͌̇ͅͅe̵̡̡̮̝͍͎̩͔̠̤̺̘̅̄̇̚ĩ̸̢̺͇̞͍̲̝̻͉͖̣̯̺̗͎͕̓̏̈̓̿͆̀̒͒̕͘͝r̷̼͚͑̅̓̎̀͂̂̀͌̋͛͝͝d̸̡̧̨̢͎͕̥̝̣̹̜͙͇̩̻̮͙̯̃̌̊̕͘͜͝.̶̗̻͉̘̦̣͕̲͇̗̳̺͇̩͇͎͊̄́͗͐̇̆̀̊̕"

"What was that."

"Nothing." She giggled. "You know Sam, you're so funny!"

Sam's face paled.

"You wanted this Sam. You wanted another start without losing friends. How do you like your new reality?"

When he turned around Coolment was standing right behind him brandishing a knife. His eyes were read again and he had this off putting sharp toothed smile.

"You bargained everything for this. Don't turn back on me now,"

"I don't know what's going on! Why are you doing this? What happened to my buddy Coolment?" Sam stepped back, Ridley's hands gripping his shoulders and holding him in place.

"Coolment's just fine. He's your best friend forever! No more T̶̡̨̧͎̺̜̼͓͓̩̤́̒̈̿̽̾͐̚͝a̵̡͉̭͒̂̔̉͒͆̈̏̓̽̑̒̆̏̀̈́ṳ̴̝͙͆͗̋͐̔̚r̵̨̛̲͊̎̆̇̓͗̌̑̈́̿͌̈́̇͊̕͘͝ț̷̽̒̒͌͌̀̓̊̈͂ĭ̷̛̘̦͙͔̞̻̖͓̋̑́̓̈̊̌͑̄̌̔̓́̚̕͠s̷̛̗̘̺̦̗̜̥̜͐̿̍̿̎̿̂͋̍̊̈̚͠͠ ̷̛͍͕̳̻̘͎͎͈̰̊͑͛͂̈́͌͒̍͌̽̉̾̕͜a̴͙̜̦͎̤̞̪͌̎̈́̈̓̉̎͐̉́͑̈́͠ͅn̴̨̛͙̠̬̦̠͚̟̩̗͚̆̾̓̅̿͘d̶͈͇͎̏͂̀̐̅ͅ ̵̧̡̧̢̡̧̞̞̱̱̼͍̦̪͎̮̳̼͍̉̆͐̂G̶̡͍͖͈̾͂̔̏ṙ̶͖̘̤̰̻̙̹͈̩̭̤͓̘̤͈̗̖̋͑̉̾̽̑̔͐̃͋̚͜ì̵̲̹̫̀͂͛̅̀̎ą̶̨͈̞̼̤̜̼̤̠́͐͊́̾͆̒̆̓͛̓̉͂̃̉ṅ̶͇̼̝̘̖̗̜̣̣̹̹̯̆́̓̍̑̈́̈͘̚͜͠͠ͅ." She spoke into his ear.

#yandere high school #yhs #samgladiator #c!samgladiator #yhs sam #yhs coolment #coolment

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catadrome · 4 months

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was just thinking "haha what if there was a Lovecraft convention named NecronomiCon" and it turns out it exists already. it's in August... I could go...

(https://necronomicon-providence.com/welcome/)

#words

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popculturebuffet · 10 months

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Pirate Week: Jack of All Trades Floundering Father and Shark Bait Reviews: Bizzaro Blackbeard (Comissoned by Weirdkev27)

Ahoy me hearties and welcome back to Pirate.. two consecutive days. Today we look at one of the most infamous scourges to ever sail the seven seas, Blackbeard!

No not that one.

Sadly not him either. I gotta get back to that series sometime. Maybe next month. No instead of talking about the good blackbeards we're talking about the version from Jack of All Trades.

Before we can get into this disapointment, let's talk about the show itself.

Jack of All Trades was syndicated show in 2000, lasting for two seasons (one 16 episodes the other 8) and part of the back2back action hour with Cleopatra 2525, about an exotic dancer who gets put in cryo sleep and winds up leading a revolution against robots.

Like Cleopatra 2525, Jack of All Trades likely would've been lost ot the sands of time were it not for one man, it's star, your surrogate uncle and mine, the man the myth the chin BRUCE MOTHERFUCKING CAMPBELL. Kev seems determined to one day have me review everything bruce has been in.. which will probably include mchale's navy by the end

For now though this is the good stuff, as jack was also executive produced by Bruce's ride or die best buddies Robert Tapert and Sam Rami.

Jack follows Jack Styles, america revolutionary war hero and either ash williams great great great great great grandpa.. or possibly a time lost Ash Williams who became his own grandpa Phillip J Fry style. The world will never know.. until Dynamite FINALLY does a crossover for it. Come on guys. It's fish in a barrel. Kev even pitched the crossover to me: Ash goes back in time and has to team up with Jack to stop Napoleon from getting his hands on the necronomicon.

Anyways back to the premise: Jack is tapped by president jefferson to go to the french ruled island of Pualu-Pualu in the east indies and stop the various plots of the french. His contact, partner and object of romantic tension is british scientest Emilia Rothschild, played by Angela Dotchin. Jack masquerades as Emilia's houseboy, then goes into actoin as the Darring Dragoon. Yes folks this is also basically a superhero show. The two frequently foil the local Govenor Croque, ocasionally napoleon himself.. and hilariously enough often also scheme to keep Croque in power as his incompetence makes their jobs easier than if Napoleon sent people with actual talent. It's both a great setup and a purposfully thin one: within this the duo can do just about any nonsense the writers want. This includes, just from wikipedia episode blurbs: Jack having to beat Napoleon in poker to keep the louisana purchase, help croque fuck his wife better, get cathrine the great her horse back so she dosen't blow up the island, and get amnesia via a pig. The show is really just an excuse for slapstick nonsense, wordplay, our two leads to banter, and for every man on the island to hit on amelia to remind you this show was made in 2000 and everybody was super extra triple horned up those days. So how did my first round of getting to know jack pan out? Why does this blackbeard suck so much? How does leonardo divinci factor into all of this? Join me under the cut to find out.

The Floundering Father: This episode SHOULD have been an easy slam dunk. I mean look at the image I chose. Really look at it. It has Bruce Campbell in an old timey sleeping outfit. Bruce Campbell, already in his pajamas. That visual gag alone should've won this 29 emmys.

But.. the rest of the episode simply dosen't live up to that glorious image you see. It's main problem is it's running gag for the episode: Jack and Emilia bicker about which is better, America or England. Which is laughable today as while I love my country, we've got a dumptruck load of problems.. and so does the uk. It dosen't work character wise because while I get this show is over the top and what not, I do... it dosen't paint the best picture of emilia that she's overdefnding a country that till very recently opressed Jack's country. I get it's her homeland and the man later says he wishes he could put her boobs on a teddy bear

But it's still pretty tone deaf to tell your partner "Golly the people who opressed yours you had to fight to get away from sure are great". I'd be able to overlook it.. if it was funny. Instead it's just every two minutes or so "AMERICA GREAT" "NO BRITAN" "AMERICA" "BRITANNNN" "AMERICAAAAAAA FUCK YEAH " "BRITAN FUCK YEAH " "mericamericaMERICACAAAAA" "BRITANBRITANJOLLYGOODPIPIPBRITAN"

It drags down the episode every. fucking time. And this being the first jack of all trades I saw had me worried their like this EVERY TIME. Thankfully the next ep, which we'll get to shortly, settled more into the two just bantering and nicely complimenting each other as a team: emilia is the brains and creates vehicles and inventions and such to help them, while jack is the more wordly brawn, able to use his fists and spycraft while loudly complaning and making puns and what not. They have way more chemistry there then here where it just gives me a migraine.

That said it's not ALL their fault the episodes a bit of a slog. Mostly but still Blackbeard dosen't help. Blackbeard is played by Hori Aphene here and credit to the show for casting a POC actor. I didn't even know historical blackbeard wasn't white till our flag means death. The character himself is just .. mostly shouting and being gross.

God bless HOri he's trying really hard, it's the writing that lets him down. I will give this version points for breathing fire

but all the shouting in the world can't make this character funny, threatning or remotely intresting and it only gets worse next episode.

The combo of the lackluster guest star and bickering just makes this one a chore to get through but there are SOME bright spots of light. Croque and his minon, Brogard, pull a clever plan, having Brogard take Benjamin's franklin's place as hostage.

The main saving grace of this episode though is Benjy himself: for starters he's kindapped for the most gloriously stupid reason imaginable: Napoleon wants to force him to build a super weapon to destroy the white house. That itself would be good.. but what takes it over the top and really told me what this show true form is.... the weapon is a GIANT KITE. Yes they took the one thing any person knows about ben franklin and made it into a doomsday device. I fucking love everything about this. This alone got my interest back.

Ben Himself is just a lot of fun. While some of the jokes are just him eating a lot aka

Outside of that he's great, and his little mentorship with elizabeth, both being in awe of her designs and helping her figure out why her sub's engine's not working is genius. Elizabeth's submarine itself looks great. The climax.. is also a lot of fun. The Dragoon battles blackbeard while as Jack he eventually has to hold two wires together and gets after effects lightninged all over. It's wonderfully dumb.

All in all this episode is just..

Has some highlights towards the end but most of the first two acts are a slog. Thankfully the next one's MOSTLY better.

Shark Bait

This one is better... though just to get it out of the way blackbeard is far worse. While he wasn't great in the first, the pirate ship was at least fun for a climax and he had the delightfully insane quirk of breathing fire. Here it just takes all his traits that made him hard to watch the constant shouting, the poor hygine jokes him creeping on elizabeth.. and..

I have to adress this in a bit more detail. The show is REALLY creepy with elizabeth at times, both with the fanservicy outfits (which are less to show off her sexuality and indepnednce and more LOOK EVERYONE BOOBS), the whole teddy bear joke but especially blackbeard who JUST WON'T STOP hitting on her and the show treats it like a wacky joke. I get this is the 2000s, it's why it dosen't destroy the episode for me but it's still just gross and I suspect something i'll have to deal with all series long. We even get a morning wood joke with jack which comes off as HAHA GET IT HE ASSAULTED HER. Her sexual indginities are treated as one big joke and it's VERY hard to stomach. Thankfully the show has a rapid fire pace to iron it out but I just.. woudln't feel right never adressing this.

But combinging with that with just "ISN'T THIS GUY GROSS JOKES" makes blackbeard fucking intolerable. Someone having pooor hygine.. just isn't funny. It wasn't funny when I was 10 and it's not funny now. Now you can MAKE someone's horrible hygine funny. Observe

Here the jokes are.. jokes. He's dirty, but they find ways to play with the joke. Someone being gross isn't funny unless you find a way to give it character. Blackbeard just shouts and smells bad. That's it. That's what they did with the character.

While BLackbeard dosen't help the episode the episode itself.. is a LOT of fun thankfully. Jack and elizabeth's banter is thankfully way more varied here, with jack being annoyed at her modes of transportation. A standout is jack preparing to fist fight the crew of the sub they've ended up on.. before Amelia points their outnumbered and they both hide. This seems more like what the series is actually like: two very diffrent people bickering and bantering and complementing each other. Jack even points out the obvious issue of using blackbeard to help them get around the ship: that he could recognize them from last time and it adds some nice tension. And ironically , if naturally it's jack who accidently blows it by mentoining her sub.

The plot itself is delightfully nuts: it starts out simple enougH: a mysterious sea monster is sinking ships going into palu-palu, and Elizzabeth ropes jack into helping it. We also get some classic bruce campbell wordplay as jack isn't pro pro bono. I swear no one else could pull that line off.

So our heroes use the sub, a nice call back, and it ends up swallowed by the monster.. which turns out to be a giant hammerhead shark shaped sub itself. That would be bonkers enough... but then we get to whose behind it: Nardo DaVinci, descendant of Leonardo Divinci. Nardo is a hell of a lot of fun, mostly berating his minons for being absolute morons, assuming a ping on the radar is just a fish, not bothering to search the sub for people and in my faviorite moment of the episode when the heroes later baricade themselves, trying to break down the door WITH A TORPEDO.

Said torpedo is the crux of Nardo's naturally over the top and hilariously stupid plan: he's invented the first, a nice little use of real world stuff before it's time. That'd be neat and all but the bonkers spice is his target: the annual founding father's father son boat cruise, where the founding families all take a trip out to sea. Just the.. concept alone is funny. Nardo helps his case by also being compitent: he repeadtely plans to have his men just shoot our heroes and ONLY gets sidetracked when Jack baits his ego.. and even then he plans to have them all shot to death right after and only looses them because Blackbeard can breathe fire. And let's face it "this pirate we're facing can breathe fire" isn't exactly something you can plan for. If your curious Nardo's crew shanghied blackbeard (and the previous ships) for his loot and have been making him swab the deck. It's also why the heroes use him at all as he ALLGEDLY knows his way around.

Our heroes escape is even more bonkers: our heroes have to SHOOT THEMSELVES OUT OF A TORPEDO TUBE. And jack has to make the lever swing since no one can pull it for him. And all of this is complete with hilariously cheap greenscreen.

Our finale is a fuckton of fun. Our heroes can't persue them in the sub since, unlike last time, it gives them no element of suprise and a boat is worse than useless. So how do they stop this dastardly da vinci?

So eliza has a hot air balloon they plan to use to huck stuff at the sub. They do end up dislodging the torpedo but have to hang loose from blackbeards farts. I.. I wish that wasn't a plot point. He figures out who they are.. but in TRYING TO MANUALLY PICK UP A TORPEDO HE FALLS DOWN AND APPARENTLY DIES DESTROYING THE SUB.. which somehow survivies fine as blackbeard is back aboard. Either way it's an awesome climax.

Overall Shark Bait is a solid episode with a fun guest star. It's brougth down because their version of blackbeard just plain sucks, but since future episodes i'll be covering don't have him, i'm happy to cover the series again. It's got a lot of fun qualiteis and let's face it i'll watch anything with bruce campbell in it, paid or not. Thanks for reading

#bruce campbell #jack of all trades #blackbeard #benjamin franklin #pirate month #pirates #sam rami #robert tapert

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robotclownindulgence · 10 months

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funger termina x malevolent crossover idea i'll never actually write but whatever:

John is a piece of the yellow king that split off when he became a new god and because you can't really kill a god fragment/new god and because he doesn't want to share the spotlight with anyone kaiser sealed him away in a necronomicon

the necronomicon gets yoinked by enki but he doesn't want what's basically a pocket-le'garde and the book is making everyone who reads it lose their mind anyway so he just tosses it

nas'hrah and john know each other because of black magic bullshit but obv nas'hrah hates his fucking guts

john's book is found by one of the bremen archeological teams and somehow makes its way to prehevil into kiefer's shop

John still learns about the festival and kaiser's plans because of his connection to kaiser but vaguely and in small snippets

arthur's is a composer from rondon turned private detective. His backstory is almost identical to the one in the pod

parker and arthur travels to prehevil to investigate the disappearance of his father in law who was looking into the church of alll-mer

they become part of the now 16 contestants of the festival of termina

parker and arthur find bolt cutters as they investigate the bunker in the forest but parker gets injured as they encounter needles (and save tanaka now that they're already at it)

arthur cuts chains keeping the city gates locked to look for medical supplies that can help parker who insisted on coming with him despite his injuries

they manage to find kiefer's shop and in the back room discover john's book

john/arthur kill parker in the buef moment where arthur loses himself completely due to john essentially possessing him

from then on their dynamic is pretty much how it is in malevolent (arthur losing his eyesight and having gaps in his memory) but arthur now competes in the festival swearing to not play by the moon god's rules and john, even though he doesn't know it yet, wants to kick kaiser's ass for treating him like garbage

they're gonna team up with o'saa at some point who knows about john bc. of nas'hrah who is NOT happy about finding him here though o'saa is always happy to be an inconvenience to his master so arthur and his pet new god are welcome to join his party

when they investigate the church o'saa is shocked to see how fucked up alll-mer worship in prehival is and how his depictions are different from other parts of the world like the eastern sanctuaries, which leads arthur to believe that his inlaw must have been onto some kind of conspiracy

they're too late though and find him sacrificed at the altar in front of the giant alll-ner statue where they fight rancid

marina also briefly joins the party in the church and john likes her because i say so. She can also vaguely hear nas'hrah to everyone's shock due to her affinity with gro-goroth

#malevolent #fear and hunger #resi.txt

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obscure-imaginations · 2 years

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Title: Evil Dead- Regeneration

Warning(s): It’s Evil Dead. Also swearing, mentions of vomit, blood, mentions of sex, violence, ‘insane’ asylum, ect..

Summary: You never wanted to work as a janitor in a mental asylum, especially not Sunny Meadows, home to the criminally insane. Now’s not the time for regrets.

Note(s): I actually have no idea what a janitor’s job is like, so apologies to everyone I’m offending.

Your day started out normal. Yelled at by your supervisor because the rooms ‘weren’t clean enough.’ It was like you were the only one here that actually did their job.

You were assigned an hour in the visitation wing. Some guy was getting a visit from his lawyer. You were mopping quietly, as the last visitor made the patient actually vomit with the flowers they brought.

The man was making some snappy comments to his lawyer. You weren’t supposed to be listening, but... his story kind of struck you oddly.

He went on vacation with some friends. The cabin belonged to some deranged archaeologist, they listened to one of his recordings, which released demons into the woods and killed everyone. The man had to cut off his hand to escape, like a Saw movie.

“The Necronomicon. Your friends being possessed by evil. You being forced to... how should I... I thought you were crazy.” his lawyer said. She opened a briefcase.

“Professor Knowby’s diary? How’d you-?” the man said.

“I bribed a janitor to grab your patient files from Dr. Reinhardt’s office.” No wonder it seemed like you were the only one working. “Now, I’ve got to get to the authorities before he notices. Good luck, Ash.” she said, closing the briefcase and hurrying back out, waving behind her.

“Damn...” the man, Ash, didn’t seem to notice you. “What are you up to, doc?”

You went back to your job, thinking over what just happened. Nothing made sense, like usual. For some reason, you believed him. And his lawyer did as well, whoever she was.

You heard a crash a couple levels below. Someone must have tried to escape again. The man looked over at you, finally noticing you. “Hey there. How long you been here?”

“Uh... 15 minutes?” You responded.

“You heard everything, didn’t you?” he asked. You nodded. He sighed.

“Well, don’t just stand there looking shocked. Do your job or talk to me.” No get out? A welcome relief from your boss screaming at you.

The mess was cleaned up, so you walked over to him. “Did you really... have to cut off your hand?”

“Obviously.” He held up his stump. “Do you believe my story?”

“For some reason, yes, I do.” you said. He laughed.

“Yeah, well...”

Something crashed against the metal bars locking in the visitation area. You looked over, not sure whether to expect a nurse and a security guard fucking (you had seen plenty enough to make you want to curl up and die) or an escaped patient. Instead, you saw the bars flying off the metal and a patient drag a security guard into their cell down the hall.

“Oh, fuck...” the man sighed. He held out his good hand to you. “I’m Ash. Looks like we’re gonna get real acquainted soon.”

“I’m (Y/N).” You took his hand. “What the hell’s going on?”

“You hear about Reinhardt? He must have the Necronomicon and used it somehow. Come on, let’s see if we can snatch a gun from the security guards.”

#evil dead #evil dead: regeneration #ash williams #ash williams x reader

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senatushq · 11 months

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“Sometimes, when we feel the greatest need to be alone, it's the moment we should most welcome the company of others.”

- a previous address to the senate by Elena Montoya ( The Voice )

In the senate forum a summit was held for the varied marshals, senators, and representatives from the supernatural community that made up Rome. Flyers appeared on walls, letters manifested in mailboxes, invisible to the non-magical eye, the city was made well aware of the event intended to rally the varied species in hopes of defending the city. Around the senators and the triumvirate a crowd took form, spirits, demons, witches, druids, members of The Eye and other entities with a vested interest in securing the city. At the entrance of the forum, representatives from the Amaranthus coven made any who attended sign an ancient and magically binding contract, written in antiquity by the three covens and kept safe in the Amaranthus’ reliquary, spelled by The Tower, those who attended the senate would be made to act in unity to take down the Asphodel while keeping Rome’s best interests in mind.

The Hand chaired the meeting and opened the table to the rest of the senate after presenting the issues at hand: the death of magister Romulus, the threat of the Asphodel, the fortification of the Fairy King’s Forest, drow influences within the city, druid presence on the senate, and the prospect of releasing prisoners to fortify their ranks. The Hand informed the senate that the magisterium’s aid had been requested, as well he outlined the importance of distinguishing a military hierarchy and planning an assault on the Asphodel before the necromancers turned against Rome again. The senate would continue to run the political aspects of the city, the day to day, etc, but a separate military regime that pulled on the city’s experts to train, form a plan of attack, and to ultimately take out the Asphodel would be the best course of action. Additionally, he informed the forum that they had found the necromanteion’s location and would be able to sneak through their defences when the time arose.

The Speaker outlined that Romulus was definitely not dead and was absolutely alive and well. He was shaking and nobody had the heart to argue with him, so the forum just made a white boy smile and nodded. The Speaker went on to highlight that understanding the grievances of the lycans and the fey would be important if they wanted to move forward. While other senators protested allying with known criminals and rebels, Nettelia, The Praetor, and The Future advocated for making another attempt at peace with the The Shadow and The Harbinger of the fairy court and lupo pack respectively. The Speaker, The Future, and The Praetor were tasked with coming to a peace agreement with the fairy court and the lycan pack. Given the positions within the druid community and the weight of the archdruids’ power, The Speaker also pointed out that should the druids return to the senate then they should put senators forward that would sit in place of the archdruids. Given the history of violence and criminal actions of at least half the archdruids, The Immortal, The Cardinal, and The Hand had to agree with The Speaker.

Backed by Aren, Octavian, and Dionaeia, Nettelia relayed much of what she knew about the necronomicon and the powers and limitations of the Asphodel to the senate forum. If the book is destroyed then there’s a chance of reform for those who’re connected to it, though in some cases the only resolution would be to either imprison them, bind their magic, or both. She outlined the importance of medical preparations in the coming military division and advocated for a separation between the military body and the senate itself so politics would not interfere in the coming battle. Now and then Octavian interjected but frequently rambled off and started talking to himself, only further proving to the rest of the senate that proxies needed to be appointed for the druids’ senators. She also pointed out that Trivia is a valuable ally who is not present, which makes her vulnerable, since the Asphodel can channel her and bolster their strength. Nettelia is for the covens of Rome to make contact with her, if Trivia could not be persuaded then they would need to channel her anyways - the Amaranthus being the best option since they’re immune to outside influence. Dionaeia, Aren, and Octavian supported this, recognizing that they would need as much manpower as possible.

Given that Octavian is the only one with an interest in politics, and even then he resents the senate, the archdruids agreed to appoint senators from among their ranks. Nettelia appointed The Shark, Aren appointed The Lion, Dionaeia appointed The Princess, and Octavian appointed The Lupine.

The Future opened the labyrinth’s facility to the supernatural community and invited all those who attended the summit to witness it firsthand. Through their unsurpassed medical innovations and advanced technology they could enhance the powers of those willing to participate in their trials, additionally they could assist the vampires in making sure that when the time came they wouldn’t be vulnerable to necromantic magic. The Enforcer opened the Outpost’s state of the art training grounds and anti-supernatural weaponry to assist in the training and development of military strategy. Additionally, The Eye’s facilities are the only locations in Rome that have been securely maintained against the Drows’ methods of observation.

The Tower advocated for banishing Pythia back to the Inferno and alongside The Sacrifice, The Oracle, and The Ivy, wished to see the witches and other members of the Asphodel saved if possible. Outlined that those who’d fallen under the necronomicon’s influence were just as much its prisoners as those within the senate’s holdings. Under the senate’s edicts any loss of supernatural life is a waste. The Amaranthus and the Ivy Coven have extensive experience in policing witches and varied forms of magic, while the Narcissus and the Dahlia both have a history with blood magic. While The Sacrifice did not outright say it, The Hand is also aware that the Narcissus’ sovereign’s unique experience with necromancy would also provide them with an advantage. Ultimately the senate agreed to save those that they could, whenever possible, and the four sovereigns would be tasked with forming a witches’ mark that would sever a necromancer’s connection to the necronomicon along with a removable portion that would restrict their magic for the duration of their reform.

The vote to form the Allied Senate Forces, separate from the Senate itself, was passed. The forces would consist of two regiments, the battle regiment, and the support regiment. The Immortal was elected as the militant leader of both. Under the support regiment, there were four divisions: the surprise attack division, logistical support and medical aid division, intelligence division, and the sensory division. The battle regiment would be led by The Lion and was divided into five divisions: mid-range combat, short-range combat, short-mid range combat, long range combat, and the special battle unit.

Captain of the surprise attack division would be The Sacrifice, his lieutenant would be The Tower. Captain of the logistical support and medical division would be Nettelia, her lieutenant would be The Healer. Captain of the intelligence division would be The Enforcer, his lieutenant would be The Praetor. Captain of the sensory division would be The Oracle, her lieutenant would be The Dhampir. Captain of the mid-range battle division would be The Lion, and his proxy would be Aren. Captain of the short-range battle division would be The Bloody. Captain of the short-to-mid range battle division would be Dionaeia. Captain of the long range battle division would be The Tower, and captain of the special battle division would be Octavian.

Training and strategizing would take place at The Eye’s Outpost, and the Captains of each division would be responsible for the development of each of their units. The support divisions also have a lieutenant to assist with strategizing and training. Captains would meet periodically to continuously discuss individual strengths and weaknesses to ultimately form the four-man teams that would best balance out the abilities of each as they continue to create their plan of attack.

The vote to release prisoners from the senate holdings, as well as all those still within The Eye’s facility was passed and the Allied Senate Forces were formed

ooc info

The summit took place Friday June 23rd

Druids are back on the senate, the senators are: Eren, Safiye, Esme, and Fen'Harel.

Allied Senate Forces have been made, training will be done at The Outpost.

The sovereigns will be working to try and bind necromancers so they can't tap into the necronomicon/be influenced by it.

Senators listed above that advocated for peace with the fey and lupo have been tasked with trying to achieve it.

Appointed Captains are responsible for training and developing their respective divisions, they'll meet regularly to develop ze big plan.

#senatus.plot #senatus.vi #senatus.summit

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docrotten · 1 year

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THE DUNWICH HORROR (1970) – Episode 191 – Decades Of Horror 1970s

“The Old Ones are not truly dead. They only sleep. It is a dreamless oblivion, stretching on and on towards vast eternity!” Eternal, dreamless oblivion? That’s a hard pass. Join your faithful Grue Crew – Doc Rotten, Chad Hunt, Bill Mulligan, and Jeff Mohr – as they enroll at Miskatonic University to study The Dunwich Horror (1970).

Decades of Horror 1970s Episode 191 – The Dunwich Horror (1970)

Join the Crew on the Gruesome Magazine YouTube channel! Subscribe today! And click the alert to get notified of new content! https://youtube.com/gruesomemagazine

Wilbur Whateley travels to Miskatonic University to borrow the legendary Necronomicon. But, little does anyone know, Whateley isn’t quite human.

Director: Daniel Haller

Writers: Curtis Hanson, Henry Rosenbaum, Ronald Silkosky; H.P. Lovecraft (based on the story by)

Music by: Les Baxter

Title Design by: Sandy Dvore

Poster Art by: Reynold Brown

Selected Cast:

Sandra Dee as Nancy Wagner

Dean Stockwell as Wilbur Whateley

Ed Begley as Dr. Henry Armitage

Lloyd Bochner as Dr. Cory

Sam Jaffe as Old Whateley

Joanne Moore Jordan as Lavinia Whateley (as Joanna Moore Jordan)

Donna Baccala as Elizabeth Hamilton

Talia Shire as Nurse Cora (credited as Talia Coppola)

Michael Fox as Dr. Raskin

Jason Wingreen as Sheriff Harrison

Barboura Morris as Mrs. Cole

Beach Dickerson as Mr. Cole

Michael Haynes as Guard

Toby Russ as Librarian

Jack Pierce as Reeger

Set your H.P. Lovecraft expectations aside and you just might enjoy The Dunwich Horror. The film features a great cast, including Sandra Dee, Dean Stockwell, Ed Begley, Lloyd Bochner, Sam Jaffe, and Talia Shire. While the results may not be 100% successful, the cinematography looks spectacular, the often cliché visual effects are used creatively, and the direction is spot on. Could a 1970 film adapt Lovecraft more faithfully at that time? It’s hard to say. Lovecraft is a tricky beast to translate cinematically. Regardless, the poster from Reynold Brown is phenomenal. Check out what the Grue-Crew has to say. Enjoy!

At the time of this writing, The Dunwich Horror is available to stream free with ads from PlutoTV and PPV from Amazon and Apple TV. The film is also available as a Blu-ray from Arrow Video.

Gruesome Magazine’s Decades of Horror 1970s is part of the Decades of Horror two-week rotation with The Classic Era and the 1980s. In two weeks, the Grue-Crew change it up for their next episode with a bit of a treat, welcoming director John D. Hancock to discuss his first feature film, Let’s Scare Jessica to Death (1971), and of course other aspects of his career. This will be fun!

We want to hear from you – the coolest, grooviest fans: comment on the site or email the Decades of Horror 1970s podcast hosts at [email protected].

Check out this episode!

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