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a-twistedheartslonging · 2 months

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Hiii, Harpy anon again.

I have more thoughts. Instead of making Idia a dog boy, I say we make him an insect. Mostly because there are some insects out there that just make sense for him. (Also because he kinda look like bug to me tbh)

For example, spiders. (Yes I know they aren't insects but they look insects and that's all that matters) Spiders specifically have a lot of significance in Greek mythology, so it would make sense for Idia (who is based off a Greek god) to have some kind of connection there. But also spiders tend to be solitary creatures, they don't live in groups and only come together during mating. And a lot of the time, during mating the males are killed by their female mates. Which..I feel like is why Idia would avoid Yuu like the plague. Because all he can think about near them is "Mate.Mate.Mate.Mate.MATE-" and he's scared if he tries anything he'll get killed immediately.

Now I don't know if we've talked about Ortho yet but I feel like he's a little robot bee. I know it doesn't really go with spider Idia but Robot bee Ortho would be so gosh darn cute. There was a study done on bee's that came to the conclusion that when bee's bump into eachother they make a little "Whoop" noise. IMAGINE BUMPING INTO BEE ORTHO AND HE JUST GOES "Whoop!"

AGSJSGAHSVSS

Ahem, sorry got carried away there for a sec. Bee's are also very protected of their hive and other bees in said hive, so I can't help but imagine if Yuu gets picked on Ortho immediately just pulls out the laser beams. Bee's can also smell fear. Giving bee Ortho this trait is like giving a toddler a glock and telling them to go do a crime. It is both horrifying and hilarious at the same time.

Robot Bee Boy.

BeeBot that makes cute noises when bumping into things.

So very cute. I don't have much to add to that except look at this cute bee butt.

Now...spooder Idia...

Did anyone else see Kar'niss from Baldr's Gate 3 and thought he was hella fine?

What kind of spider would he be? If he's one of the fluffy kinds I love the idea of his floof matching his hair. Would he have multiple eyes? Fangs on top of having those already pointy teethies?

Did you know an interesting thing that bee's and some spiders have in common his helping with pollinating plants?

Hmm drider's are usually big and people in general already don't like regular spiders very much. Poor Idia is just going to keep getting more reasons to not leave his room. 😔Oh Jeez Jamil would prob freak out seeing him.

Man, Idia and Azul have it bad. For females of both of their kind if they don't kill you after sex cuz doing the diddly works up an appetite, they might kill males that they simply rejected...or just because they got too close.

Another thing that both male octopuses and spiders have been shown to do to lower the risk is present their possible mate with food. Azul's an amazing cook with his own restaurant and Idia has a surplus of every kind of snack/junk food you can think of so at least they have that going.

Still, I would like to think that even if that happens with their kind in that world it's not nearly as bad or quite as common. Funny though to think of Idia screeching when he sees you and tossing a few bags of gummies and chips at you.

Also....to avoid getting eaten after sex some male spiders will actually tie the female up in his web and set her free after. Do with that info what you will.

Some spiders also do a mating dance, but you have a snowball's chance in hell of seeing him do that.

Still, it's just more things that get these types of nonhuman boys thinking that you the little would be the best choice when it comes to finding a mate. AMAB? Cool. AFAB? Well, human ones don't cannibalize so it's all good....well once the guys learned that they don't.

Plus, once he gets to actually know you and see how you're the least threatening thing in the school things will be easier.

Once he's comfortable around you get to see something amazing...

That he's a snarky little shit with so much sass. He's a weird combination of having issues with self-loathing while also having an ego.

One time you tried to bite him for mouthing off and he was legit scared for a sec but once he saw those little teeth of yours couldn't even make a scratch on the exoskeleton on his arm, he gets super freaking smug, and now he's even more of a shit when teasing you.

One of the cool things is that you can legit ride him places cuz he big spooder. It's too bad it rarely if ever happens with being a shut in.

He'll still let you sit on him like that when you guys are in his room.

A cool thing he can do is climb on walls and ceilings, does it often when trying to sneak to the vending machines on campus without being seen. He has unfortunately been seen once or twice though and it scared the hell out of the poor student to see a giant freaking spider on the ceiling and almost made Idia drop his snacks.

His webs are pretty and glowy, he kind of has them around his room set up like fairy light.

Weird fact, spiders can taste with their feet.

Cute fact, some spiders will keep a frog as a pet. Frog helps keep the spider's eggs from getting eaten and the spider protects the frog from other things.

I'm kind of picturing Idia as the spider and you as the frog. You are his emotional support human that he keeps close when he has to leave his lair.

He unintentionally gives you scary dog privileges.

Imagine working your shift at Twisted McDonald and a little human comes up to you with this big-ass sharp-toothed spider dude behind them, you are scared out of your mind but then the human says "Excuse me, he asked for no pickles."

#spiders #spider #bug #bugs #drider #bee #twst #nonhuman au #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #suggestive #asks #ask #idia shroud #twisted wonderland idia #twst idia #ortho shroud

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lawlietscaramels · 5 months

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Yandere ╾ L Lawliet

Because apparently I fell into a yandere stage and this is my tunnel out.

CW typical yandere stuff (stalking, obsession, overprotection, manipulative, worship, dependence, monopoly, killer)

　★━━─・‥…━━━☆

Yandere L is interesting because I think yes, he could absolutely be a yandere

canonically too

BUT only if you defined a yandere by "do they have the traits?" as opposed to "what do they do?"

so first: what KIND of yandere is the detective? top five traits incoming.

STALKER

Let's just get this one out of the way

He obviously to some degree "stalks" people just for his work, through cameras and policemen if not in person

he's a stalker guys. that's it.

so he wouldn't have a problem just turning up wherever someone who interested him was

again

and again

and again...

He's pretty hard not to notice because of his peculiar mannerisms, but he's also literally black and white enough to blend into the background.

So if he was careful (he is) it would take a while before you noticed you were seeing him everywhere you went. And by then you wouldn't be able to think of a time where he wasn't sitting quietly somewhere in the background.

L knows this.

he knows you're going to assume he just happens to live in the same area as you, or something like that.

I don't think he'd actually follow you into your home but he would go when you were out someday to set up cameras

and I think L would genuinely believe himself to be a good person

what if he goes away and you get in trouble? you don't always have a roommate, who would notice? well, now L will, and he is quite able to get you back to safety. but back to the stalkery.

oh man he's gone through your stuff. your closets your phone whatever. he wants to know about you

one day he might just arrange for a little... near accident somewhere you both frequent

and oh my oh gosh oh diddly darn

guess who just happens to be there to save the day

(L. it's L. notice him please?)

OBSESSIVE

There are two things that L is canonically obsessed with: work and desserts

but if he found a romantic interest that list suddenly has a third item: YOU.

especially if you bake him cakes or help him in cases. because then he ties those things he loves to you.

and I'll just quickly mention these traits are always a little bit in his personality but the order I'm writing in is the order they come out more strongly around you.

Obsession is also tied with stalking.

Some days he watches you and dreams about you smiling at him the way you smile at the rain and the sun and the world.

he imagines how everything will work out. you're a distraction to his work: he would have to find a way to integrate you into his life in a way that allows him to be close to you and not distracted. he imagines he imagines

you'd find a way to fit into him while he was sitting, your body pressed up against his torso, legs pulled up, head on his shoulder.

he could play with your hair with one hand. you could feed him sweets.

L is for the first time not in control of his own thoughts. it's new and unpredictable so it's completely terrifying to him, and for a while he'll slink away into the darkest recesses of society and draw away from you.

but it doesn't stop. it gets worse.

he can't look outside without wondering if you're looking at the same skies. can't eat strawberries without wondering if you like them.

so then he does a full 180 and will devote all of his available attention (some must be spared for work) to you. if you don't already work together or if he hasn't made contact during the stalking at all, this is when he does it.

he reaches out to see if you'll take him.

and when you do (it's not a question of if, see manipulative) he will calm down a fair bit.

but he is still, quietly, obsessed

OVERPROTECTIVE

what can I say?

gosh he just wants to keep you safe.

He's seen every bad thing about the world through his work, he knows bad things constantly happen to good people.

but. not. to. you.

L just won't let it happen. he can and will secret you away in a hotel room. never enough for you to become suspicious, to rattle at doors and windows. And you move with him, every couple of weeks, so it's just an adventure, dear.

also I think he'd use darling in a sweeter sense. dear or maybe doll is his yandere pet name for you.

He probably has several trackers somewhere on you. probably not IN you... probably...

also you know that nail polish they developed that changes colour when it comes into contact with common poisons in drinks? he makes you use stuff like that. for your safety.

hate hate hates that he can't be with you all the time. you tend to find yourself with reasons to stay at home when L's not around. once again see manipulative.

he does trust you, he really does. but he doesn't trust the world. men in particular are often disgusting. it's just true. he's seen it time and time again as a detective. who knows what scary things could be out in the world? and if they knew you were dating, that you had ANY relationship with the world's greatest detective? L's afraid he's putting you in danger. please just humour him and stay home for a week, dear. you can work on your baking.

if you started getting really rebellious, thought you were being chained up, whatever, L would let you go and do whatever you wish. He doesn't want you to feel like that! He loves you! he may or may not have organised for a brush with death for you so that you realise how right he is about the horrors of the world and want to stay home like he asks you so nicely to.

you're just so pure. so innocent.

there, there. he won't let them hurt you.

he'll even close all the blinds so the darkness of the world can't reach in to taint your beauty. isn't he the best?

MANIPULATIVE

IT'S CANON.

I can't think of any particularly specific examples but he lies about everything. Whenever he throws out a number (5%) it means he suspects someone over 90%

so he has no issues bending the truth

sigh if L's manipulative side is triggered it's triggered ALL the way. one one hand he hates doing this to you

but on the other it's for your own good and you're being stupid.

He will do ANYTHING to make you believe him. he will manipulate you into thinking he's being manipulative so he can get upset at your lack of trust in him so he's able to manipulate you

did that make sense...

can cry on demand.

but it's not all about making himself the victim, he will also just.. isolate you if you're starting to drift away from him. Suddenly your friends find other interests, your family are renovating the house or your parents won a radio prize for a vacation.

and L is the only one left. and he himself is distant until you cry and plead and apologise

the isolation thing is actually a yan trait itself and the scenarios above are also kind of training. but they're only a part of the bigger trait.

he will also manipulate situations and other people, not just you.

L just wants what's best for everyone

(coincidentally this always aligns with what is best for L.)

he's so smart though. it's really really difficult to realise he's manipulating you unless he wants you to.

WORSHIP

you're so pretty, the most perfect thing he's ever seen

you're an angel, really.

and people who don't respect you as such are going to get a subtle but clear message from L to STEP AWAY.

cold glares.

he will literally turn his head 180° like an owl to stare at them while he walks you away

they might end up fired. I mean someone who can't see what's right in front of their eyes doesn't deserve whatever job they have...

he just wants to spoil you sometimes and he has the resources to do it and more.

sometimes this gets a little suffocating but it's sweet. mostly.

it's nice to have time with your boyfriend instead of big, grand, empty rooms. L just doesn't have a lot of time. He does his job to protect you, protect you from everything in this world because it is all inferior to you.

I do not like to think about how he would react if you happened to meet Light...

I wasn't sure about whether or not to put this in the top five because I don't think he'd see himself as inferior. his IQ is big. but you could still jump from his ego down to his IQ and fall for hours. he thinks you're more good than he is but he's under no delusions about your relative intelligence or anything.

but yeah, I think he's a worshipper.

Just... a quiet worshipper. all his yan traits are kinda quiet tho haha

L wants to give you the world. he would sacrifice anything for you.

he would take a bullet for you

his work makes this a good possibility. he'd prefer not to get shot but he'd still do it for you.

probably the most harmless of his yandere traits. this one comes out when he decides this is it, you are it, forever.

HONOURABLE MENTIONS

really quickly a couple of the other traits L might have and express are:

dependence (mostly for manipulative purposes. he will cry if you ever fight. L is honestly quite dependent on you, he might die without you-- or more likely just force you back into his arms-- but he puts on a lot of an act, a puppet master pulling strings behind the stage. he wants to be seen as vulnerable, not just a stoic and brilliant detective. because which one is it easier to lose your heart to? and you must lose your heart. you stole his first.)

monopoly (when he has time, he needs you to have time for him and only him. he doesn't have a lot of time. will manipulate you into spending time with him but it's more of an occasional pest thing than anything. quite harmless. especially because he works a lot. you have plenty of time without him, which makes him sad, but he can't help it. and you wouldn't love him if he stopped you from seeing your family and friends...)

killer (yeah... not in the top five by any means but if someone tries to hurt you? god forbid, if they SUCCEED? you'll be stuck at home for a couple of weeks while L frets over you. and sometime in that couple of weeks.. well.. maybe that someone who hurt you finds themself in trouble with a gang. L's not doing the dirty work himself but he's behind it and you will never find out. if they only TRIED to hurt you L won't be able to justify killing them to himself, but they'll quickly find themselves in jail.)

YANDERE?

so back to what I mentioned in the first part: L is a yandere, IF you're only basing the classification on the fact that he has these traits and the ability to act on them

but as anyone who's watched police or court drama knows, you need more than means and opportunity:

you need MOTIVE.

this is where I can't base my thoughts on canon so much anymore. the only people who we really see L caring about the death of (spoilers‼️) are: the FBI agents (though not on a personal level); Ukita (pretty sure that's his name); and Watari (though L himself dies too soon after for this last one to be useful)

so. Ukita.

L probably wouldn't care enough for the guy to go yandere for him LMFAO but we do see him refusing to rush in and take action without thinking, something which a yandere might be more inclined to do if they cared about someone.

HOWEVER we also see he's trembling. like he's a little in shock about the death and what it means, but also he wants to do something about it.

a yandere urge, brought out by something bad happening to someone he cares about.

My point being?

L has the traits of a yandere, and has the ability to act on any of them any time. he's smart, he's rich, and he has the trust of the entire world (or respect at least)

but he doesn't act unless triggered.

and ofc because he doesn't have a canonical love interest, we can't prove either way what he would do for/to them.

but I think he is more deredere (love) than yanderu (sick).

anyway, L is smart enough to realise that the yandere doesn't usually win the game of love, and that the things are not things you should be doing for/to someone who trusts you. not things you should be doing to someone you love.

but sometimes, when his emotions are high and so is the danger to you or your relationship,

his control just slips

and you might just find yourself locked in a hotel room while he works on the Kira case.

SO IS HE A YANDERE?

no. I'd say that he's a kuudere.

cold, cynical, sarcastic sense of humour, views feelings as a weakness but DOES have them and will open up over time.

but oh...

wait...

according to the dere wiki...,

"Due to the way a kuudere acts, a yandere can easily pretend to be a kuudere when not acting insane."

...

so, what do we think?

　★━━─・‥…━━━☆

but hey that's just a theory... a DERE theory! aaand cut.

𝖎𝖋 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖑𝖎𝖐𝖊𝖉 𝖎𝖙 ˏˋ⋆˖⁺˖⁀➷ 𝖕𝖑𝖊𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖗𝖊𝖇𝖑𝖔𝖌 + 𝖋𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖔𝖜

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mewtwoandme · 1 year

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Cartoon characters from kids' shows cursing in fanfiction is cringe.

Aww hell, well dammit!

Gosh darn diddly fuck!

Shit!

Sunova bitch!

Crap!

A fucking shame isn't it ^^

#mewtwo answers #answered ask #anonymous ask

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 6 months

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Special Interest 4

Warnings: non/dubcon, age gap, creep behaviour, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

Characters: Cole Turner, short!reader

Part of the Bookstore AU

Note: this one is a bit longer than I anticipated!

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

You have everything neatly tucked into a box for your delivery. You're anxious, more so to get it done and over with, than to meet the demanding buyer. Your mother finishes up and hurries you to get ready. You can’t help but take your time.

You bring another box, this one full of parcels to be sent out. After dropping those off, you’re back in the car hug the last order in your lap. Your mother pulls into the lot, just behind the garden center outside, now selling wreaths and pine trees in lieu of the season bulbs and petals.

You get out and check your phone. Your mom comes around to read over your shoulder. You keep an arm around the box as you lean it against the car. You bring up your Etsy messages.

‘Think I got here early. In the garden center checking out the garlands.’

“Oh, great,” your mother says, “we won’t have to waste too much time.”

“Mhmm,” you agree and bring your other arm around the box, pressing your phone to it as you follow her.

She doesn’t wait as she walks along the wall of the garden centre and dips through the door. You catch up inside, nearly bouncing off of her as you hold the box ahead of you. She squeals and points out a shelf of ornaments made of pine cones. You humour her with a smile and hum.

“Those are cute, mom, but we’re not here to shop,” you huff as you peer around.

That woman in the patchwork jacket looks like a farmer. She has the square jaw of a real hard lady. You know she’d probably best you in any physical combat. You meet her eye, tilting her head in question, ‘are these your crochet goods? Huh? Did you make me come all the way down here?’

She frowns and quickly turns away. Alright, not her but you’ve definitely creeped her out. You glance back at your mom as she ogles the ornaments. You wonder how she manages to work from home effectively.

“Excuse me, uh, SashayCrochet? Um, I think that’s for me?” A voice draws you back to face the rows of trees and hanging wreaths. You almost fall over as you recognize the man approaching you. No flipping way. “Hey,” he points at you in a similar epiphany.

“Uh, Farmer’s Delight?” You grimace.

“That’d be me,” he smiles. He’s wearing the same tan jacket, you note the stain by the pocket, “thanks for meeting me here.”

“Uh huh,” you squint at him. What a gosh dang diddly darn coincidence this is. “Here, everything’s there. Have a good day.”

“Oh, wow,” he sputters as you push the box against his stomach, slowly placing his hands on the corners. “Do you mind if I check to make sure or–”

You hold back a sneer. You can’t believe this. You had a bad feeling all along. You somehow don’t think this is fate. You think this guy has a problem. Why would he needs a lady’s magenta cap and matching mitts?

“Honey,” your mom finally catches on to the scene behind her, “oh, is this him?”

“Um, hello,” the weirdo smiles at her, “yeah, uh, it’s me. Cole.”

He offers his hand as he shifts the box under his arm. Your mother shakes his hand and nearly vibrates in excitement. She loves finding a new mark for her unending small talk. They deserve each other.

“Cole, that’s such a cute name,” she rescinds her hand, holding it over her chest coyly, “matches you well.”

“Mom,” you growl, raising your chin defiantly at Cole the creep, “I included an invoice so you can see everything’s there. Go ahead and check, we have things to do.”

“Honey, don’t be so rude,” your mother chides, “so, Cole, you live on a farm?”

He sets the box down on the corner of a table and shuffles through the contents. You stay where you are as your mom steps closer. You wonder if she sees the silver in his beard and just thinks that’s some festive touch. He’s ancient.

“Yeah, my parents’ place. I help out. As much as I can.”

“Oh, wow, I always dreamt of living out in the country but I’m too much of a busy body. The city is where I belong,” she preens, “but my daughter, she’s loves being at home. Don’t you, honey?” She beckons to you but you don’t move. “Spends all her time making this stuff,” she motions to the box.

“It’s very nice,” he says as he admires the beret style cap, “good handiwork. Talented.”

“Yes, a good hobby,” your mom insists, “not so useful as working the field, I’m sure.”

He chuckles, “yeah, I guess, but it takes all sorts.” He lifts the box up again, “my mother is going to love all this. Her birthday’s just around the corner and I didn’t really wanna walk in with another gift store teddy bear.”

“Too sweet,” your mom chimes, “any mother would be so lucky. Honey, get over here.” She reaches back blindly and grabs your arm, forcing you up next to her, “she always makes me something pretty for the holidays but you can only really have so many socks and scarfs.”

“Mom,” you snarl again, glowering at Cole as amusement dimples in his cheek.

“Actually, uh, I was just coming from the market. I have a booth there. I sell plants, so, uh, I have some in my car. If you wanna have a look. You can have one for free… some probably won’t last that much longer,” he suggests.

“Oh, plants! I love plants. And with this weather, everything’s so grey,” your mother trills. “We’d love to have a look.”

You almost hiss at her again but you don’t want to argue, not in front of this man. He smiles and leads her out of the garden center. You trail behind reluctantly. Your mother glances over her shoulder and snaps her fingers at you. You come up behind her and lean in close.

“Mom,” you whisper, “do you really think we should follow this stranger to his car?”

“Stranger? He’s so nice.”

“You said two words to each other.”

“Don’t be so cynical,” she snaps back, lowering her voice as she talks out the side of her mouth, "he's gorgeous."

He takes her to a pale blue truck and opens the back door, he tucks the box on the floor and steps back, gesturing to the back seat. You furrow your brow at your mom. She is easy pickings.

“You can have a look. Mostly cacti,” he shrugs.

“Don’t mind if I do,” your mom steps up and peeks into the back seat.

You can see the edge of a cardboard tray as she moves around the small pots. You stay a few feet back and cross your arms. Cole edges towards you.

“I guess… we’re running into each other so I can apologise,” he says, keeping his voice notably low, “about the bookstore.”

“Huh, bookstore? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I’m being nice. I just wanna make it up for you. Why don’t you take a plant too?”

“I don’t have much of a green thumb. I’d rather knit my plants,” you sneer.

“You mean crochet,” he corrects you. You look at him sharply and he lifts his brows plaintively, “I’m learning, see?”

“Mom,” you put your hand up as if to say ‘talk to the hand’ and block him out, “hurry up. We gotta grab that thing for dad. Remember?”

“Great, I’m heading inside too,” Cole says, “they have some sod in stock and I need some chicken wire.”

“I like this one,” you mother shows a prickly cactus with a little red cushion on top, “and wonderful, you might know what this is,” she fishes out her phone with her free hand, “something for the sink. My husband sent me a link…”

You die a little as your mother shows him the web page. Of course she can’t just let him go. She can’t let you get out of this. She thinks this guy with his dumb blue eyes and sandy brown hair is some sort of Prince Charming.

“Maybe I’ll just wait in the car,” you say.

“Oh, honey, don’t be silly, it’s too cold for that.”

Cole looks at her phone, “oh, I know exactly where those are. One sec.”

He shuffles past her to shut his truck door. You glare at your mom but she doesn’t notice, she’s completely enamored with this tall hunk of weirdo. Whatever, you’ll have to sneak away and hide in the pet section and daydream about the puppy you never got.

#cole turner #dark cole turner #dark!cole turner #cole turner x reader #special interest #series #ghosted #drabble #au #bookstore au

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feliciteacup · 4 months

Text

don't ask me what this is because i don't even know what this is myself

#mlp #my little pony #voice acting #voice impressions #voiceover

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life-winners-liveblog · 4 months

Note

You wanna hear a joke?

What did the skeleton say to the monster?

*pause before i start fuckings speed talking*

hey there buddy chum pal friend buddy pal chum bud friend fella bruther amigo pal buddy friend chummy chum chum pal i don't mean to be rude my friend pal home slice bread slice dawg but i gotta warn ya if u take one more diddly darn step right there im going to have to diddly darn snap ur neck and wowza wouldn't that be a crummy juncture, huh? do yuo want that? do wish upon yourself to come into physical experience with a crummy juncture? because friend buddy chum friend chum pally pal chum friend if you keep this up well gosh diddly darn i just might have to get not so friendly with u my friendly friend friend pal friend buddy chum pally friend chum buddy

9.2

Scar: ...I...

Pearl: What.

Scar: What did any of that mean?

Pearl: I think I disconnected mentally halfway.

Scar: I ...am very confused.

#asks #trafficblr #traffic series #pearlescentmoon #goodtimeswithscar

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sapphicseasapphire · 3 months

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you’re making me simp for your boys. Gosh diddly darn it.

I love legend so much

Hehehehe Legn’t

I’m glad that you like my silly little guys!! I’m quite fond of them as well!

#the legend of zelda #chain as cryptids au #i answered question #I’m literally the funniest person on earth #I’m so proud of that joke #(sarcasm)#links meet au

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unexpectedbrickattack · 1 year

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Now hold on a gosh-diddly-darn minute, I noticed the entire time talking about a tipsy Peppino no one thought to ask this but what about tipsy GUS? I mean we saw him a li'l tipsy in the fastfood saloon escape, can I hear your thoughts about that/him please? Have they ever gotten tipsy together?

(I just like the mental image of the two alone, just being real giggly with each other (Gus just says "hey" and Peppi starts giggling which sets Gus off giggling) and being sappy goofs with each other <3)

HEEHEE u are so right and i am so sorry for withholding this information from the masses 😭

My homebrew for gnomes is that they are simultaneously hardy folk (able to eat virtually anything and immune to most poisonous creatures) AND extremely intolerant of alcohol. Theres no reason for that, i just like it alot :)

So Gus would be an extreme lightweight 😭 its SO bad; he cant speak clearly at all, he cant walk straight, he has the Worst hangovers and he wont remember anything from the previous night. The line between ‘pleasantly buzzed’ and ‘blackout drunk’ is so thin that Gus doesnt even try social drinking. If he MUST drink, it will be in the comfort of his own barebones apartment 😭 at least, until Peppino started hanging out with vigilante and his crew.

Gustavo LIKES drinking! Its just hard to find a good balance, and THATS bc he simply doesnt know how alcohol works. Peppino is like:

“Look ‘ere. All of these have a number somewhere on the bottle. Or a percentage. Lower the number, the better it is for you.”

Gustavo is like !!! Oh!!! That is very helpful! What would you recommend for me then?

“Probably…2-5%. 5-10 proof. Small 'a numbers.”

Gustavo nods, interested. He points at a bottle he recognizes from the last time he came here and got shitfaced. “That one up there; do you know how ‘a strong that one is? Or should i ask the bartender?”

Peppino squints at the company label. “45%.”

“Oh!” That makes sense. “Well what do you usually drink?”

“70%.”

“Oh!”

Peppino recommends some of the LIGHT light wines, the ones that barely have a hint of anything. Theyre sweet (which Gustavo loves so very very much) and for the first time in a very long time, he Stays buzzed instead of immediately faceplanting into being blackout drunk.

Hes very. Playful. Is what Peppino would describe a tipsy Gustavo. He hesitates to use the term ‘flirty’ because that is not whats happening. But hes like. Clearly entertaining some gruff looking men like five times his size as they ramble drunkenly about random shit like ‘waow….thasso cool…and then what happened???’

Its funny at first bc Gustavo is so fucking TINY that all you can see of him, in the group of men as they yapyapyap about some inane shit that Gustavo wont even remember, is his tiny little tail 😭 It is less funny, however, when Peppino catches himself rambling about work and Gustavo is like (ears perked; tail swaying) ‘mmhmm. wrow…thats ‘a kinda nice…what else did you do??’ Peppino is like *buffering* (‘something is happening right now that will need to be addressed at a later time. Do not forget DO NOT FORGET. URGENT!!!!’)

Otherwise Gustavo is just a silly guy. Vigilante will make a joke and he laughs so low and deep that he sounds downright villainous 😭 Peppino will point out something stupid on the TV and like hours later Gus is like ‘…heeeuehuuueee…..do u remember [insert stupid reference] and Peppino will giggle. Peppinos affinity for throwing around ilus are met with Gustavo going ‘😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊’ with absolutely no way to even pretend to mask it.

Gustavo has fun being out in the saloon but he really enjoys drinking in Peppinos house. Its not nearly as loud as the saloon and theres usually homecooked foods like breads and soups (Because Peppino stress-cooks ALL the time). Brick gets to stay indoors instead of waiting outside the saloon, so Gustavo gets to mess with his soft fur contentedly. He just gets to be cozy; its quite nice 😊

#answered #chattin #///#////#/////#gustavo #peppino #pepstavo #alcohol #drinking #i still have to answer that anon asking about pepstavo hcs so i hope this helps a little fhjdbdjdndkd #additional context is that; gnomes stay mostly in the forest. so theres not alot of outsider influence #gustavos a bit of a traveller; he likes exploring and seeing whats outside the forest. and he usually comes back with goodies #alcohol is just one of those things he tried during a trip or two and it always fucked him up #never looked into it; some shit is best left alone lmao #unrelated to that #but the alt though that peppino had; i was going to say (something el gee bee tee is happening…)#which made me laugh but i cant make him say stuff like that fhdjbdjdjdjd #also note that Gustavo does not drink often at all; he will accompany peppino to the saloon and let him get tipsy w his friends #he will entertain their silly shenanigans and bring Peppino home when theyre done #and if hes hanging out at peppinos house he will lounge around listening to peppino blabber about nothing #and drink some ciders :)#he only drinks like. 10% of the time. hes a social drinker but ONLY when he feels like it #and ONLY if peppino is with him #ALSO ALSO #IMPORTANT #you must know that Gustavo is NEVER sitting while in the saloon #he is standing on his barstool w his hands on the countertop

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