#well it got a lot longer and then i cut it and im sad it was really beautiful i got compliments every day

[leejeongz]

🫧 evnne reaction to you asking for a hug 🫧

pairing: boyf!evnne x gn!reader

genre: fluff (a bit angsty but not relationship angst)

warnings: pet names, mentions of food (seungeon)

a/n: acc most of these were kinda sad because i couldn’t think of happy scenarios 😭 sorry !

⋆ hanbin

“im in my room, angel!” hanbin shouted as he heard you close the front door.

you spied him lying on the bed, waiting for you to come in, which made you smile immediately. hanbin always looked a little bit mischievous, but he was definitely planning something right now.

“please not today,” you groaned, “i’m not in the mood for pranks.”

“what’s wrong? did something happen?” he asked, concerned.

“just a long day,” you sulked, dropping your bag off of your shoulder so it fell into its usual place, beside his desk, “hanbin, can i have a hug?” you asked, which caught him off guard.

more + other members under the cut

“uh yeah of course you can!” it was the quickest you’d ever seen him move off his bed for anything. he flung his arms around you and you rested your head on his shoulder sloppily. he hummed, his chin coming to rest on your head. his arms squeezed you slightly as he felt your head droop further, aa if to remind you that he was there, which made you smile instantly.

“is that better?” he asked, pulling away slightly.

“thank you,” you nodded with a pout.

he smiled back at you sweetly, taking your hand and pulling you to the bed. “or maybe we should cuddle for a bit longer, i was thinking we could watch high school musical again?!”

⋆ keita

“y/n it’s your birthday, why are you here on your own?!” keita finds you in your room, re-reading the birthday card he gave to you. “hiding from hanbin?” he laughs.

you laugh with him as you stand from the edge of your bed. “it’s just a lot to take in, you know?” keita nods, edging closer to you with a sympathetic look on his face, which draws the question out of you that you’ve been wanting to ask him all day. “can i have a hug?”

“a birthday hug?” keita asks, opening his arms as he stops right in front of you.

“just a regular hug,” you respond, your arms wrapping around his torso as he kisses your shoulder.

his embrace feels so familiar. comforting. it makes you forget about all the overwhelming events of the day. his hand gently moves down your back and up again, his breathing syncing with your own as the hectic day stops for just a moment.

“i love you,” keita whispers.

you pull away, content and ready to face the music once again.

“i love you too,” you whisper back, your hands finding his.

“i know.”

the smirk on his face reminds you of the keita you met on your first date, so rightfully confident, yet incredibly soft. “good.”

⋆ jeonghyeon

jeonghyeon was working away on his laptop, his earphones plugged in with his concentration face in action. you walked into the room as he was shuffling in his seat, before he tugged his earphones out and got up off the sofa.

“you made me jump,” he laughed, hoping it wasn’t too obvious as he almost bumped into you.

“babe, can i have a hug?” you pouted, without even meaning too.

“of course, baby,” he responded.

his arms welcomed you into his chest immediately, which you rested your head against. you always felt comfortable in his arms, they were so secure, but not suffocating, they wrapped around you so perfectly, you never wanted to be anywhere else but in his arms whenever you hugged him. his hands gently rubbed at your back in a soothing way, almost lulling you into a dreamlike state.

“are you tired?” he asked softly.

“just needed a hug,” you spoke against his chest.

“well, i’m always here when you need one,”. you looked up to him with a gentle smile and he placed a kiss onto your forehead, smiling back at you proudly. “i needed a hug from you too.”

⋆ seungeon

“seungeon,” you whispered, crouching next to his bed. he was completely out when you left to go to the store and now that you’ve come back, he’s just beginning to stir. your hand finds his hair, a little damp from sweat, but you think it’s cute.

“‘mm” he muffles, swatting your hand away gently.

after a couple of seconds, he manages to wake up and turn onto his back.

“can i have a hug?” you ask.

he’s still not completely wide awake, and so he just holds his arms out above him and waits for you to climb onto his bed and into his arms. you flop on top of him in a playful manner, careful not to hurt him. his arms soon encase you, flush against his body. he took a long inhale and then let it out, clearly very happy with his life currently.

“why?” he wondered aloud.

“you just looked so cute wrapped up in there,” you answered. seungeon rewarded you with an aww and a very faint, innocent kiss on your ear. “and also because they didn’t have the chips you wanted at the store.”

⋆ yunseo

“you won?” he asks, a huge smile across his face as you nodded.

“they didn’t stand a chance,” you bragged, flicking your hair and rolling your eyes sassily.

“i don’t doubt it,” he encouraged, “let me treat you to something special,” his flirting never failed to make you embarrassed, especially when his hand came to your arm, caressing it gently.

“maybe a hug?” you asked innocently.

“really?” his smile fell softer, “you want a hug?” his head tilted and reached out for your hands, pulling you closer into him and placing your arms over his shoulders. his hands soon found your waist, pulling you even closer until you were almost flush against him. as you looked up at him, yunseo couldn’t help but place a little kiss on your lips before his face displayed a proud smile.

“you’re so…” he had so many compliments in his head, but felt shy to say any of them. instead, he wrapped his arms around you tightly, swaying you side to side.

⋆ junghyun

“oh,” junghyun greets you with an awfully hidden shocked face, “you look…” he searched for the right word when you finished his sentence for him.

“… dreadful? i know, i haven’t slept. this stupid assignment,” you point at the computer screen, “junghyun, can i have a hug?” you ask, almost in tears.

he doesn't answer, instead he just walks towards you, waiting for you to open your arms while you’re sat down. you tuck your head between his waist and his arm as he strokes your hair with one hand, the other swooping over your shoulders. he reads over your work as you hug, your writing never fails to impress him, but it’s devastating to know that you stayed up all night to create it.

“babe,” he started. you look up at him once again as the arm over your shoulders becomes a hand stroking the top of your back, “let’s take a break now, okay? i’ll run you a bath, or you can nap, it’s completely up to you.”

“a nap sounds great,” you pause to think for a second “so does a hot bath,” you sulk, “but i can’t.”

“please, y/n, you’ll feel better when you get back to it anyway.”

[daftpatience]

heurhgh. thinkin abt the prince and the sea witch AU because i am an ocean boy and and and theres so much to thinkabout with this one!!!! i love aus that tap into classic fairytales becasue theres so much to work with!!! connections to make and parallels to draw

context and thoughts under tha cut cus this au sorta escaped me at first and there's very little stuff about it in english

the original au came from a leaflet that was bundled with volume 8 on toranoana:

rough translation explains that mermaid princess hinaichi rescued prince ronaldo, and sea witch draluc offers to give her legs to meet him again (and if he doesn't like her she'll turn into seafoam) which she declines. (literally what she says is "no need!" and the big words to the side of her say "no regrets" which is hilarious.) thats the end of the story and ronaldo is left alone. also, john is a sea turtle that lives in a clam.

im lifting my own headcanons and such from the original little mermaid story (not so much the didney one) where the prince doesn't see the mermaid and instead falls in love with this woman who comes to help him from a nearby temple (who he doesn't realize is actually the princess he's betrothed to later.) in this au that's draluc who was observing from a distance. (i just drew a half sunken agora and im calling that a temple. watever. its refd from one of the old arts and i think its pretty)

i like the idea that ronaldo exaggerates his own memory of spotting draluc that day due to the distance making details difficult paired with the fact that he was probably a little delirious. the idea that he doesn't immediately put together that draluc is the person he saw is kinda fun 2 me, and of course he'd make up some beautiful girl in his head. of course he would.

im messing with some ideas about draluc deciding to meddle with ronaldo instead - does he offer to turn him into a merman to look for his made up maiden? or does draluc come to land for his own reasons? maybe they visit each other at the temple every day and bring each other little things and talk and stuff. itd be cute if they butted heads but still went to see each other every day anyways.

a popular thing in the au is draluc being captured - maybe ronaldo, desparate to find his love and only knowing she was some sort of fish, does something stupid like setting up nets and traps. hahah. maybe he catches draluc and takes him to his castle to learn about merfolk and such. iunno. whatever the case i hope they fall in love in the process and also bicker a lot like their usual schtick

ive got a little sad idea that borrows from some 30 years later au stuff where draluc is worried about ronaldo's lifespan (this is also in the orig little mermaid where mermaids live longer than humans by hundreds of years) but also can't turn human to match ronaldo because it's too painful for him to walk on legs (since one of the au rules is that he must always be weak and the orig little mermaid made it clear that legs hurted real bad)

also also i very big headcanon draluc the sea witch has a sunken castle that looks a lot like ponyo's dad's house on the inside. fulla potions and stuff. wouldnt that be cute! maybe hes got an interest in human life/a collection of old things kinda like didney little mermaid - since canon draluc is so well adjusted to modern human stuff like games and livestreams and whatnot. in this au i think he'd be a lot more stubborn and reluctant to admit it, though, cus i also like the idea that his grandpa went the route of loving a human and going to land and maybe he doesn't want to end up like that? but it might be fate just cus draluc and ronaldo parallel D and helsing so well.

also i still want hinaichi to be in it but her rejection of the plot is so funny and good, i don't want to shove her in without thinking of a good way for it to make sense. she's good friends with draluc and likes his cooking...can you cook underwater??? maybe magically?? maybe draluc takes up cooking on land and brings hinaichi things he makes??? maybe then she gets interested in humans and wants to come to land to try all the cooking theyve got. iunno.

i usually keep this sort of note taking and doodling to myself but this fandom needs all the stimulation it can get. hiii hellooo :]

[ornii]

When it gets Dark Outside

Must be fun being a Super Hero, right?

Spider Gwen X Male Reader. (Y/n) has been flaking on his Girlfriend for a while now, and unfortunately it all comes to a head.

So. Let’s do this, one last time

My name is (Y/n) Riley, turns out my birth was your normal Mom and Dad stork story, I was created in a lab by a man named the Jackal, using the DNA of a guy named Peter Parker, unfortunately my dna wasn’t purely his and was mixed up somehow, letting me not look exactly like him. And for the last two years I’ve been New Yorks Spider-Man after Peter decided to retire and live comfortably with his Girlfriend, and I gladly took on the mantle of The Scarlet Spider-Man.

You know the rest, saved the day, got the girl and have been doing pretty decent hero work if I could say so myself. One of the biggest helps in that was my girlfriend, Gwen. She doesn’t know about my powers, I’m too worried what she might say, but it’s getting too much to hide, and I’m worried it’ll blow up in my face. Well, I guess it’s too late for that now.

It was ranging to be an average New York night for most. Bustling city, beautiful lights, and your run of the mill Supervillain trying to rob a bank, shocker.

Speaking of Shocking, The Scarlet Spider-Man swings though the city until he lands on a light pole, as police quickly surround a large bank embedded into central street.

“Long day?” He asks to the Police chief, George Stacy, who frowns at the web head.

“Focus, we got Shocker in the main Lobby, zapping anyone and anything that gets even a few feet near the parking lot, we’ve cut off the block to avoid casualties and civilians.” George said, Spider-Man nods and points to the bank.

“I’ll take out shocker, it’s up to you guys to finish clearing the block in case something happens.” He swings away and lands on the wall, crawling in though a window he sneaks onto the roof, the bank is, well was before it got blown to bits, a nice regal place. Marble floors, beautiful pillars and all, Spider-Man stood up and smirked. Standing below him was shocker, ready to fight anyone coming into the door.

“Got a hot date shocker?” He says, Shocker turns without hesitation and blasts his electric bolts, Spider-Man leaps out of the way and onto a pillar.

“Oh Cmon man? You’re breaking my heart.”

“Grrr! Step off Spider before I fry you!”

“Yeah, Like im Gonna let that happen, so why don’t you do your old man a favor and just surrender?” He asks, Shocker responds by attacking again, Spider-Man leaps over him and fired his web shooters, beginning to slowly web up the shocker, avoiding a blast but getting knocked into a pillar, he sees shocker wind up for a big blast, using his slingers he hurls a table at him, letting the attack hit that and causing a substantial sound wave, knocking the glass out of the doors, Spider-Man lands from the attack and prepares to fight, before seeing an incoming call on his mask. Gwen.

“Uh, Hello?” He asks, inside his dormitory, Gwen was sitting there, waiting for him.

“(Y/n)? Where are you? I thought you were ready to study?”

“Uh Yeah! I Just had small detour?” He says, avoiding a death blast, he webs shocker by the ankle, making him trip.

“Look I promise I’ll be there, just wait a little longer.”

“.. you aren’t doing anything dangerous are you?”

“No, you know me.” He says back, trying to convince the girl, who was silent for a moment.

“…Yeah.” Gwen responds with a bit of deadpanned sadness. She hangs up and Spider-Man turns to shocker.

“Alright, can we wrap this up I have something super important to—“ he says, before another incoming call appears.

“Again? What she’s—“ his distracted headspace was the perfect opportunity for Shocker, who hits him with a heavy blast to the chest, sending him flying out of the building in slow motion in front of the police, time slows down and he quickly fires his webs against the wall, using the momentum like a slingshot, he flies back though the building door with a big drop kick, sending Shocker into the wall stumbling, he changes his cartridges and fires his classic impact webs! The hit and explode on contract with Shocker, webbing him perfectly. He grabs and spins him around before hurling the villain right out into police custody. He sighs with relief and collapses down to one leg.

“Well.. that sucked, alright.” He stands up, taking a few deep breaths, before swinging out of the bank and back to his dormitory, bring a Highschool student on a boarding school in New York wasn’t the worst thing, granted he had no roommate so keeping his identity was much easier without his parents walking in on him. Granted it still was a hassle with school, but he made it work, he stumbled into the room via the window, tumbling in as he held his side, he tore off his mask to sigh in pain.

“Okay, just gotta get to—“ he looks up, and his eyes ran straight into Gwen’s, she looks rightfully stunned as he stands up, holding his side.

“I..can explain.” He says, and Gwen starts to get, obviously frustrated.

“Is this what you’ve been doing?”

“… Yeahhhh..” (Y/n) sadly admits, and Gwen was at a loss for words.

“I thought you were working at a homeless shelter or something, you’re Spider-Man? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I wanted to! I just never really knew how you’d react.” He responds, her anger grows.

“So you lied? All this time?”

“Yeah, for a good reason Gwen! If I had told you and they found out who I was, I don’t know what would happen if something happened to you because of me.. I’d never forgive myself.” He admits, and her anger slowly began to subside.

“What do you mean?” She asks, and he sits down on his bed.

“If someone found out that I’m Spider-Man, they’d go for the people I love the most… and that’s, you.” He says in a halfway confession.

“..Love?” She asks and he nods, Gwen approached and sat next to him, her hand gently laying on his.

“I totally understand why you’d feel that way, I see you fight for you life protecting everyone, my dad included, even though he hates your guts. I was mad But, i Understand why..” she admits, and she smiles so, earnestly and the way she always smiles just, warms his heart.

“Thanks Babe, you don’t know how much it means to me to get this off my chest.” He says, Gwen slowly leans in, and (Y/n) does as well, taking the opportunity to try to kiss her, suddenly a hole in the ceiling begins to form seemingly out of some scientific tech, and a white figure landed. She Checks a device on her wrist.

“Rats, might not be the right universe to—“ she halts as she slowly turns to her side, and sees (Y/n) and Gwen staring at her, which was more of a surprise since Gwen was staring at another version of herself

Spider-Gwen. Normal gwen turns to (Y/n).

“So.. Something else you didn’t tell me about?”

[justallihere]

i'm going insane bc i was away for the weekend and left my phone alone (god bless) and came back to a whole chapter PLUS love declaration PLUS forehead kiss ?? omg.....

Mira is not letting Xaden rest like ever, I do wonder what Violet told her while Xaden was prepping her bath tho.

“Not if it bothers you, they can’t,” said Xaden. “I’ll make sure they keep it away from you.” 

oh he wants violet to be comfortable so baaaad he's the embodiment of "is the sun bothering you queen" and im so here for it.

i'm totally fine and sane over xaden washing violet's hair im not kicking my feet or anything and im definetely not crying over how soft they are and how much trust must violet have on him bc she's letting him touch her hair after it being threatned to be cut.

forehead touches are my faaaav so u can imagine how well fed i am after this chapter and for that i say thank you alli *dramatically bows*

Xaden not wanting her to feel like she wasnt love so he just declares himself to her had me weak, like it could've been this grand gesture but nothing between them has ever been planned or expected so he just winged it and it was perfectly what she needed. talk about soulmates !!

when u told us the declaration was gonna hurt i didnt have this imagined in my mind but im so glad it happened this way and not the way i thought it was gonna happen. it was so bittersweet !!

ALSO she def knows she loves him shes just not ready to admit it bc in no way in hell would she ask him to say after he declared himself if she didnt know she also felt something

also the way they first slept i know xaden neck was complaining

also violet reminded me of a cat who always try to get closer in their sleep. she just wants to cuddle !! and shes so real for that

Rhiannon is truly a bestie!! not her terrorrizing the love interest we love a ride or die bestie, even if sometimes she's unresonable

“You whisked her away before anyone could check on her.” 

bestie there was not one single part of her that wasnt broken what was the man supposed to do *cries* but i do understand her stress

SLOANE MAIRI !!! not her calling the king of tyrrendor her brother i love that for her !! she's a princess so true. also i looove xaden and liam's talk it wasnt too cheesy bc tbh they dont operate like that but it was so genuine !!

can the guards chill !!

Garrick is just like me!! i too love gossip and will put my hands on it as soon as i can. but garrick its been like 12 hours wait a little longer or violet herself will call u out again. but also not garrick begging xaden no rule to country and he's just like "no <3" love that for him his wife just got back running a country is very far from his mind.

“Is that what you told her to do?” Rhiannon raised an eyebrow. “Get over it?” “No, but you’re not her, are you?”

He's so ??!!

the development of violet a few chapters ago being like "he didnt hold me while we slept bc there had been no excuses for it in Aretia" to now being like "im gonna curl into your arms so hard you'll never escape" and honestly good for them !!

anywayyyy i LOVED this chapter

lol a lot happened this weekend, welcome back!!!

Xaden’s literal one and only concern is Violet and her comfort, fuck everything else. I’m totally not fine and sane about the hair washing so I guess we balance each other out 🫶🏻

They are very much soulmates!! Xaden didn’t plan to fall in love with her, of course he didn’t plan some grand declaration of it either, we’re just going with what feels right. Violet is a grumpy little kitten yes you’re right

Rhiannon is stressed as hell, like give her best friend back RIORSON where is she

Garrick needs both gossip and for Xaden to do his job and he’s getting neither of those things! Too bad so sad!

Thank you!!!! 🩷

[bucketspammer4life]

how i think the boxers were like in their teen years

was resting bc im sick but punchy men cant wait

Glass joe - was wayy more optimistic and cheery, knew how to cheer himself up, also dyed his hair blonde & lightened it pretty often so his hair was crusty and broke like glass (pun very intended )and hated his childhood photos, used to make fun of people who wear turtleneck sweaters but that didnt age well, looks back at his teen years with sadness

Von Kaiser - was very stern & cold, had a very shitty mustache and a bowl cut, wore actual boxing shorts before his overalls, had very oversized boots that he still wears today because he grew into them, shrieks in embarrasment anytime someone pulls up his teenage photos

Disco Kid - actually used to be a dancing coach and primarily did boxercise, once he started boxing he dropped boxercise and went all out on boxing, used to grow out his hair but cut if off since it distracted him, had his natural hair color, looks back at his teen years with nostalgia (and regret since he cant really cut back on the hair dye now, got into it because of joe)

King Hippo - was actually very tiny, Just shot up in height someday during his teen years, also had a light er voice and a crown that was wayy too big for him, it was passed down from his dad so he still has it & loves it with his entire heart, his boxing shorts still fell down a lot though, looks back at his teen years with joy since he thinks he used to look adorable

Piston Hondo - had longer hair and used to strut his shit, was more of a dickwad, had a belt and did less meditation, mellowed out pretty well since he used to go nuts in the ring flying from place to place, rolls his eyes anytime someone brings up his teen years

Bear Hugger - had a baby face and couldnt really grow a beard, so he had his cheeks pinched very often, used to be happy and still is happy, also met mrs bear's mom at this age during a foraging trip, looks back at his teen photos very happily, if he could go back in time he would pinch his teen-selves cheeks

Great Tiger - his magic sucked ass, his clones were distorted, kept flickering in & out of reality and couldnt stay more than a few seconds, didnt have his mustache & had a buzzcut so he looks back at his photos with anger because of his shitty hair when he didnt have his turban

Don Flamenco - wasnt balding & had longer hair that was wavy, used to be smaller so he was underestimated a lot, had just started bullfighting on the side, looks back at his teen years with sadness, mainly for his hair and lack of anger

Aran Ryan - OHOHHOHH this man wins the award for the worst teenage photos, he had a skaterboy era and the worst hair ever, had a very shitty beard that was growing only on one side, anytime someone pulls those pictures up he runs away

Soda Popinski - Literally unrecognizable, had light brown hair & a buzzcut, didnt drink much soda except for rough matches and was built like a twig, once he started upping the amp on the soda his hair fell out a bit and he got ripped, looks back at his teen photos and laughs at his buzzcut

Bald Bull - oh you think the current bull is scary? You should have seen him then!! He had curly hair and was small but a lot faster, he also headbutted people a lot more but stopped because of health issues, his hair fell out from anger & ripping them out from stress, looks back at his teen years with nostalgia because he missed having hair

Super Macho Man - Literally your average surfer dude, went for the dilfbaiting when he turned 29, dressed like a fratboy and had blonde hair + used spray tans, looks back at his photos and calls himself "gnarly"

Mr Sandman - was wayy tinier except for his arms and used to have glasses, he switched to contacts after having his 19th pair broken, likes making fun of his old photos, also had braces so he was the 🤓 emoji irl for a while

[fandomfluffandfuck]

S that latest poll answer makes me sad for you. Did that inspire that fic you wrote about Sebastians body image and thr beetle?

related to my tags on this poll & this fic of mine "The Kids Aren't Alright"

This gets personal and kind of intense, so it goes below the cut!

Trigger warning for discussion of general poor mental health, depression, suicidal ideation/self harm, eating disorders, body image issues, etc.

The short answer is an overwhelming yes.

"The Kids Aren't Alright" was very much something that I wrote because it struck a chord in me--Sebastian talking about his experience with body dysmorphia always hits home for me as a guy with body dysmorphic disorder, and the first time I heard Mackie admittedly very affectionately teasing him, saying he got stuck in the VW Beetle, I was a little horrified, I mean, secondhand embarrassement, imagining embarrasment so vividly it was horrible, really. So, naturally, I had to make it into a fic.

Also, I hope you don't mind, sweets, before going on, I'm adding onto your ask with another that I got even more recently:

youre very generous with what you share, so ignore this if im over the line, but its mens mental health month and that suicidal ideation post made me think of your mental health, whats been your experience with it?? i dont have a lot of men in my life who are willing to share with me, so i thought i would ask you 🥰🥰 please delete this if youre uncomfy tho

which is related to this

Both of you are such sweethearts!

Thanks, though, I don't exactly try to share a shit ton 🤷🏻‍♂️ I guess, eh, being somewhat anonymous in this corner of the internet yet being honest in the form of the spectrum of emotion from raw feral angst to private domestic fluff to shameless shut coaxes me into being so forthcoming? Not that I'm, like, super reserved otherwise, lmao.

I'll start with a short answer again before I go into deeper detail, which is just to say: my experience with it has been rough. I, a queer man, grew up in a small, red town with a very traditional family, so... yeah. It was not fun.

Okay, longer answer now because when given the opportunity, I. will. yap.

I think I will start with masculinity here because I feel as though a lot of my experiences with mental health and issues with my body tie directly into my masculinity. I don't have problems with being a man, I love being a man, it's who I am, I just don't love some of the expectations of being a man on a grand societal and interpersonal level, y'know?

Masculinity, to me, was always presented as the thing you have to be or else. Or else my parents were disappointed; or else the other boys wouldn't like me; or else I felt bad about myself: or else there must be something wrong with me; or else I must be gay; or else.

I have older siblings, and my older brother was in Boy Scouts when we were kids. Both of my parents fucking love the outdoors. So, of course, they loved that. My dad, specifically, spent all his time doing Scouts shit with my brother or organizing similar activities just for them when not at work. (I had a traditional western family unit, my dad worked, my mom was a stay-at-home mom.) And while I do enjoy the outdoors and camping and hiking and all that, just in smaller doses, I never wanted to join Scouts. I nearly immediately attached myself to art, so I just didn't have the interest. I can't do art if I'm outside digging in dirt, fighting with sticks, practicing knots, doing target practice, and backpacking (or whatever else the boys in the troop were doing), can I? That meant, if I wanted to draw or do crafts or something creative, I was inside, and my mom was looking after me and my sister while my dad and brother were out.

That did not sit well with my dad. He wanted me outside, joining Boy Scouts and fixing cars, playing mechanics with my brother. I did not want to. He tried very hard to get me to be as interested in more stereotypically manly activities with him and my brother, and it didn't work.

I'm just more artistic. That was always a clear disappointment.

To add on, as I grew up, I was not physically traditionally masculine, either. I've cracked jokes here and there that I'm not too dissimilar to pre-serum Steve before. It's not far off. I'm about 5'6", a little taller, and skinny.

I grew up waiting desperately for puberty, waiting for my muscles and growth spurt and... it didn't happen. My voice dropped way deep (which meant it cracked wildly and super noticeably, and, of course, I got shit for it), and I enjoyed that. I never had a pressing issue with my dick, I mean, I would hazard a guess that anyone with a dick worries about size at some point just because that's something etched deep in social sexuality, but I had more pressing things to obsess over. Like, at first, when body hair started to kick in, I was psyched to see it, and then it kept coming and suddenly guys in the locker room were pointing it out and making fun of me for being a "little guy" with so much body hair. Puberty also did fuck my face up with acne which destroyed a lot of my self-esteem, too. I had to go on Accutane not once, not twice, but three times. I still have a robust routine to keep my skin clear (but it is clear these days and I'm still reeling thinking about it, it took someone telling me I had really nice skin for me to snap out of it and realize I wasn't still covered with acne, actually. And that was recent!).

I didn't have my pre- to post-serum sudden increase in height and muscle moment, so I continued to feel scrawny and weak. Having pectus excavatum, a birth defect where my sterum curves in instead of going down in a straight line, never helped, either--I got made fun of for that, of course. I remember a comment about how one guy in a locker room wasn't going to dare to hit me/slap me on the back because he would clearly just break me... yeah, that didn't help feeling like the odd one out, unmasculine, fragile, and unattractive.

My self-esteem is much better these days, I will gladly say, but I genuinely used to get sick to my stomach just thinking about what I looked like, never mind actually looking in the mirror. I felt horrible that I had to go out in public and subject people to looking at my face. I'm an avid journal-er, and I have old entries where I just go on and on and on and on about how I felt like a monster. Disgusting and hideous.

It doesn't matter that I know, objectively, that I have a fairly masculine and even an attractive face. My jaw is square, I can grow a beard, I have a deep voice, my eyes are green, I've been very lucky to have straight, white teeth without braces and all that. Plus, people seem to like my cheekbones and curly hair. My voice, too, people seem to enjoy my voice and my mouth. So, evidently, others seem to appreciate my face. So many people spread over so many years have no real reason to lie. I'm complimented. I've not had problems when it comes to dating and relationships or whatever. Yet still, it's just not what I see. I say I know objectively what I look like because I know facts about myself, but I...

I don't really know what I look like, if that makes sense? My reflection shifts a lot, over the years I have had a problem with every part of my face, every part of my body, and I know I can't trust what I see in the mirror. I fixate on things, and it consumes my viewing experience.

Part of the consequences of all... that... all those issues above have been my experience with eating disorders. I've had some fun [sarcastic] mix of orthorexia, binge eating disorder, and anorexia over most of my conscious life. From the moment I was aware of myself and my own body, I've had problems fueling my body. It's a cycle over years and years that's been going on since late elementary school (around 10, 11), where I'm fucking sick and tired of feeling weak and useless and not masculine, so I push myself too hard in the gym and kitchen--working out until I'm physcially ill, blacking out, blistering from running and lifting, I've torn a few things that way, while obsessing with healthy foods at the same time to the point that it's unhealthy. That happens for however long I can take it. Then, eventually, I break. And I get into a cycle of binging that destroys my ability to go to the gym, so it's just binging. Cycles of it, uncontrollable. That morphs into feeling too big and disgusted with myself in the opposite way that I started with, so my brain fixates on restricting. What goes up must come down, though, so with enough of that... then I feel too small again and, yeah. It starts over. 🙃

I have worked very hard to break it with the help of friends and a short lived experience with therapy (he was a terrible therapist, then my insurance stopped covering it, so I couldn't afford to go or find a new one), but I've--dare, I say--gotten into some kind of balance more recently.

To end on perhaps a hilariously on-theme note and something happier, what I have found is that sex helps. Therapy and supportive friends and good environment are obviously irreplaceable. But, sex is good, too. When I was in the thick of all that, younger with my mental health challenges way more out of control, I'm sure I was just getting away from the numbness and hurt--endorphins, oxytocin, y'know, all that.

Then, I'm sure it was added to by the fact that suddenly, with sex, women (I am queer but when I started fucking around, I only felt safe enough to be with women, I didn't think I could be out where I was, and now... that's just the way it's worked out. It happens to have been women) were enjoying me. Enjoying what I could give them. Complimenting me explicitly or implicitly. Saying I'm hot or, clearly, if we're having sex, I'm not so disgusting that you don't want to fuck me.

But, sex helps beyond those rudimentary things, too. Finding kinky people and sex-positive people has inadvertently led me to find body positive people and find examples of real bodies--people really actually enjoying themselves. Spending more time naked is beneficial, too, haha. Slowly, I'm learning to appreciate myself more. This is my body. It's the only one I have to live in, I may as well make peace with it. And I will take the pleasure that my body can give others. I appreciate that I can do that. I like making people feel good, I like having their faith put in me to make them feel good and treat them and their bodies well, like they're desired, or not 😏, depending on what they're into. I want to pull that pleasure out of them. I want to make them feel good, bad, whatever. I want them to feel in their body.

Did that answer the question, lmao? I just rambled 💀💀

[stormseclipse]

i had these in my brain for awhile so i thought if let you answer these shower thoughts 1. if you gave each storm hawks a hard math question what would they do? im betting finns just goofing off 2. what would they be like in high school? 3. how dose each hawk processe a break up

(sorry if they seem random please take your time ^^;)

No worries! These are real interesting questions!

1. I feel like Stork and Piper solve it easily enough, Stork maybe takes a little longer but he gets it.

Depending on how hard it is, like are we talking algebra? Geometry? Calculus? Aerrow probably can’t solve it if it’s something beyond basic algebra. And that’s on a good day.

Kind of same with Junko, he’d try his best though.

Finn doesn’t even attempt to solve it XD he takes one look at it and says “nope”

Radarr can’t do math

2. They all kind of already have their archetypes. Piper’s the nerd, student council president, but I think she’d also be popular cuz she’s pretty and has a great, friendly personality.

Aerrow’s the jock, the quarterback, the popular guy. But he’s nice to everyone and hates bullies.

Finn’s the class clown, pulls a lot of pranks, gets put into detention.

Junko’s also on the football team but I can see him being in book club. Maybe also theater club.

Stork’s the weird emo loner XD most people avoid him but the gang interact with him every once and a while.

Rest under the cut!

3. Well I don’t want to reveal too much about what Aerrow goes through during a breakup, since it’s kind of a big arc in my fic, but I’d say…He can understand if things just weren’t going well and he’d respect his partner’s decision if there’s nothing he can do to fix it. But if the split is bad then he takes it bad. I’ll leave it at that.

Piper…she can also understand if someone breaks up with her. She’ll be sad but she’ll do her best to just move on. She’d probably cry on her own though.

Finn acts like he doesn’t care if he’s broken up with, but inside he’s devastated. He really wants to be with someone, so breakups really hurt him.

Junko I can see going two ways, I can see him taking a breakup hard and being very upset. Eats ice cream, cries, the whole nine yards. But I can also see him not taking it too hard, he doesn’t hold it against the other person. He’s sad but he knows he’ll be ok. That’s probably after he’s been in a few relationships.

Stork…well Stork’s kind of aroace to me so he wouldn’t be in a breakup lol. If he *was* in a relationship and gets broken up with, I don’t think he’d take it hard. He’s like “knew it wasn’t worth it, I don’t need anyone” and just moves on. He could be a little upset, be doesn’t dwell on it.

Radarr would be sad if the chicken ever broke up with him, but I think he moves on fast. He’s got other things to think about lol

Hope these answers were satisfactory!

[actualalligator]

WIP Wednesday

This is a snippet from "If I Lead, Will You Follow?" This feels so slow going rn. I feel like this is all I wanted to write when I started it, but my inspiration has stalled. Maybe getting more out into the universe will help. It's a longer snippet, so I'm gonna put it under a cut. Thank you @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad for tagging me 🩵

Eddie walked back into the living room and sat on the couch with his beer. If Buck was good at complicated legos, then he could have at it. Eddie was more than happy to sit back and drink his beer. 

As if he could read his mind, Christopher looked up at him. “Buck's way better at this than you, Dad.” 

Buck choked back a laugh. Eddie threw a half-hearted glare his way. 

“That's not very nice, bud,” Buck said after a second. “I'm sure your dad is plenty good.” 

Christopher's eyebrows drew together, and he shook his head. 

“What's parenthood if you're not being bullied by your own kid?” Eddie asked, voice soft enough that Christopher probably didn't register it. It got a soft huff of laughter from Buck, though. Eddie liked that sound a lot. “Buck can be your lego buddy from now on.” 

“Good,” said Christopher. “I thought I'd never get the Mars Rover finished.” 

“We may not finish this tonight “ Buck replied, looking through the instructions. 

“You can come back tomorrow,” Christopher said, and the way he said it sounded like it was just a given. Of course, Buck would come back again the next night to build legos with him.  

Buck frowned down at the instructions. “Well, I have to work tomorrow, buddy, but maybe I can come over the next time I'm off.” 

Christopher squinted up at Buck. “When is that?” and his tone was close enough to a demand that it made Eddie sit up a little straighter. 

“Ay, mijo. We have to be kind to our friends or they won't want to come and play,” he said, and he never raised his voice with Christopher, not like his dad had done with him, but he was firm. 

Christopher paused for a second, maybe to consider what he would say next, but his tone was much softer when he finally did speak. “When can you come back and play legos with me again, Buck?” 

“I'm off on Monday,” Buck says. 

Christopher looked at Eddie. “Dad, can Buck come over on Monday?” 

“I work on Monday,” Eddie said softly. He didn't want to let his kid down. “You're going to go to Abuela’s before and after school, and I won't pick you up until after you're asleep.”  

“Oh.” Christopher's little slumped shoulders were exactly what Eddie didn't want. 

Buck glanced between them. He pulled out his phone. Seconds later, Eddie's phone buzzed in his pocket. 

Buck: I could watch him after school on Monday. 

Eddie looked at the text, then at Buck. He appreciated that the offer had come as a text. They were still new to each other. But Eddie was surprised to find that he wanted to say yes. He trusted Buck already. And it would be nice to get to come right home after a twelve-hour shift and for Christopher to fall asleep in his own bed. 

“Maybe Buck can hang out with you after school here until I get home,” Eddie said. “You will have to promise me that you'll listen to Buck and you'll go to bed when he says it's time.”

Christopher's face lit up. “Yes, please! I promise!”

Buck was smiling too. “You'll have to let me know what you want for dinner, bud,” he said.

Christopher leaned forward with a very serious expression on his face. “Can you make grilled cheese? Dad always burns them.”

“Captain Nash, your dad’s boss, taught me how to make the best grilled cheese in the whole world,” Buck replied. He poked through the lego pieces in the bin and handed one to Christopher. “Do you like tomato soup?”

Christopher nodded. “Dad can make that pretty okay. We eat it with quesadillas sometimes. Those are usually okay.”

“Tomato soup and quesadillas can both be cooked in the microwave just fine,” Eddie said. “But we have good dinners too, mijo. Right? Like when we had spaghetti last week. That was good.”

Chris giggled and nodded again. “We had chicken nuggets with cheese in our spaghetti! It was the best I've ever had!”

“Oh yeah?” Buck asked. He glanced back at Eddie for a second before picking up the next piece of their build. “Maybe I can join you next time because I've never had that. And I love spaghetti and chicken nuggets.”

“Yeah. I'll call you,” Christopher replied, taking the piece and sticking it on.

Buck chuckled. “You've got my number?”

“Dad does. He lets me call Grandma and Abuelo,” Christopher said with a wave of his hand.

“Perfect. As soon as you know your dad has spaghetti on the menu, call me right up,” Buck told him. He handed him one more piece and closed the instructions. “I have to go start the chicken. We will have to pick this up after dinner."

No pressure tagging and anybody else who wants to share! I wanna read your WIPs!

@lochnesswriter @friendly-chaos @malewifediaz

[w1tchcr4ftt]

Inside out 2: A ramble of me trying to explain my feelings about it

(under cut due to possible spoilers!!! You have been warned)

In short, this movie went beyond my expectations! I expected good and got better! Inside out is one of my favorite movies and as a person who hates sequels, this one hit the spot! I was so excited for everything and I loved it so much!

Now for a longer ramble of pros and cons and stuff cus I cant organize my thoughts and ideas like a normal person

Pros!

Everything about the movie was good! The animation, the VA (I love anxiety's voice so much so silly), the storyline, and the pacing were all very well done

I adore the new emotions so much! I evidently favor anxiety... (shes relatable and I want to throw her at a wall) the designs are so very silly and they fit very well

I still love that the emotions can also show emotions and stuff! I think its interesting to see sadness be happy, joy be upset, anxiety be relaxed (the last bit with her massage chair), etc! I just think its neat!

Accuracy. Good God that panic attack scene has a death grip on me, Ive never seen a movie describe a panic attack in a way Ive felt connected to like this. Even so the rest of the emotions like embarrassment and envy's scenes around the firehawks, just trying to fit in is so painfully accurate.

Riley felt like more of a person in this movie! In inside out (1) she felt more like a puppet/vessel for the emotions to pilot, but having Riley actually be a person, even having thoughts of going against the emotions control (When anxiety wanted her to go look at the notebook but she didn't want to) That and the sense of self (which anxiety managed to rebuild in a day, that part gets me that it took them 13 years only for her to remake Riley in a day) felt like it made Riley a person and not a puppet

I love that the movie doesn't make Anxiety a villain, just an antagonist! Shes not trying to ruin Riley, just make sure shes happy, and that means a lot! In a world where villainization of mental disorders and neurodivergency is super prevalent, its so refreshing to see that even something as tough to live with as anxiety isn't put in a horrible light! She has good intentions, but lacks execution. It makes me happy to see something like this, where anxiety isnt stereotyped to hell ane also isnt villainized, but rather just trying and failing to help

Bloofy and Lance. That is all.

Cons!

Everythint was very fast paced, I wish it was a little bit longer but the message got across just as well

I wish they used Ennui more! I love the concept so much but she felt underused in my mind

On the topic of emotions, I wish they gave Envy more time to be, well, envious. I thought the scene where she wanted Val's hair was silly but we didn't get as much of that like I hoped

I wish we got to see more of the islands and how they har changed especially friendship island! I know that wasnt the point of this movie its just an interesting topic! Wouldve also loved to see some other parts of Riley's mind since it obviously changed since last time!

Again, Bloofy. Lack of Bloofy and Lance content. Was severely disappointed.

All in all, I adored this movie! While there were a few cons I feel like they were made up for! I, again, adore Anxiety so so so much and again I love how the movie made it clear that no, anxiety isn't a villain or a monster or something evil and wront, but rather something to learn to work with! Everything about this movie lived up to its predecessor and im so happy I got to see it!

Out of the semi-serious context, I love the silly characters so much and Anxiety lives in my heart and will not leave me alone. I love the stupid orange muppet and her silly friends who help her deal with all her issues. I can promise you this will be my hyperfixation for a long time coming

[clementine-side-blog]

Protect & Love - E.N

Summary: Being close friends in the orphanage, y/n and Edward move in together after leaving it. They eventually get in a relationship. Edward knows y/n has lots of trauma, has abandonment issues, and is very dependent, but he loves them very much. He wants to be with them for the rest of his life. He'll protect her always.

(A/N: This is based on what I know about age-re and my personal experiences with it. I know not every one's experience with it is the same. So, keep that in mind while reading <3)

ALSO HOLY FUCK THIS WHOLE FANFIC IS SO CUTE I'M PISSING PLUTONIUM ELEMENT ^v^

Content Warning: Y/n is an age regressor (regresses to like around 10-11 years old), explicit language, trauma, drugs, alcohol, abandonment issues, angst, fluff, panic attacks, PTSD, Edward being a great friend and partner, AFAB!Reader, she/her pronouns. (rare moment for me not to make y/n gay in some way.)

Songs For Inspo:

daydreaming - Rebzyyx, horrormovies

La Vie en rose - Edith Piaf

Wanderings - Mook

Love Like You - Rebecca Sugar

rises the moon - Liana Flores

Kids - Current Joys

~Read Below Cut~

(also, idk shit about orphanages so i will most likely get how they work VERY wrong. pls don't take any offensive from how i write it <3 im doing my best pookies)

~

"Children, gather around now! Come on, hurry up! We have a new friend joining our home."

The children in the room all huddled up around Sister Addams. Edward stood in the back, not wanting to deal with wiggling through the crowd of kids. He didn't like being in big crowds. Instead, he stood on his tippy toes, trying to get a good look at who was joining the orphanage.

"This is y/n! I trust that you'll all make her feel comfortable. Go on, y/n. Say something about yourself." Sister Addams encouraged.

Edward couldn't see her too well, even on the tips of his toes. But, eventually, he found a little crack of space that he could see her through. She looked really skinny and frail, just like him. But, so did everyone else in the orphanage really. A brown teddy bear was held tightly to her chest, as if it was her form of life support.

'She's pretty...'

"Um, I like...um...ponies?" She mumbled.

"Ponies! Isn't that nice? I'm sure you'll find other girls that like ponies too. Your bed is at the very far left end, near the window." She said.

Y/n nodded as Sister Addams left the room. Some children stared at her for a little while longer before walking away, while others left immediately after. She stayed standing there for a little while longer. Once the crowd dispersed, Edward could see her more clearly now. She wore a yellow sundress with white knee socks bunched around her ankles. It looked like she was crying. Pushing up his glasses, he walked towards her.

"Hi, I'm Edward." He said, holding his hand out.

Y/n looked at him, bear still held tightly to her chest. After a little bit, she held out one hand and shook his. She found a handshake to be extremely formal for their age.

"How old are you?" Edward asked.

"I'm 10..."

"Me too."

Y/n looked down at the floor, gripping the bear tight again. She wiped away her tears with the back of her arm. Edward stood awkwardly, glancing around the room. He didn't really know what to do about her crying.

"Why are you sad?"

"My p-parents were mean to me. I g-got taken aw-way from them..." She said between soft cries.

Edward noticed how she fidgeted with the ear of the stuffed animal. Perhaps that was a stuffed animal from when she lived with her parents.

"I'm sorry that they were mean. I don't know my parents." He said bluntly.

"Y-You don't have parents?" She asked, curiously.

"Well, I do. I just don't know where they are...or who they are."

"Oh, I'm sorry..." Y/n trailed.

Edward pointed at her face; more specifically her eyes. Y/n looked at his finger, going cross-eyed as she did so. He smiled and dropped his hand back down.

"I like your eyes. They're pretty."

Y/n blushed, smiling softly.

"Thanks, I like your glasses. They look cool. I bet you can see everything with them!" She giggled.

"I don't think it's possible to see everything. A human's peripheral vision isn't that wide." He stated.

"You're silly." Y/n said.

"Thank you?"

~

After that first interaction, the two kids became inseparable. They were best friends till the very end. Edward was literally the only person y/n ever hung out with. She didn't get along with anyone else. Plus, Edward was the only one who talked to her when she came to the orphanage. She was alone, abandoned by her family, hurt, and he was there to make her feel welcome. Needless to say, she got attached to him quickly. As they got older, around 14, that's when Edward started to realize that y/n had severe trauma. Who could blame her? He was a smart kid, always reading books on information that seemed unimportant, and one of the books he read was on psychology. He deducted that y/n had abandonment issues, which was justifiable seeing as what she went through. When they were both 16, there was one thing that y/n did that he found an answer for after reading some of Freud's work. Though, he didn't really need a book to understand what it was.

~

Edward and y/n sat at the cafeteria tables, the only ones sitting at the table they were at. No one ever sat with them, but they didn't really care. In fact, they favored the privacy. Looking up from his 'food' Edward noticed y/n had barely eaten anything. He sighed, leaning over the table slightly and moved her tray to get her attention. She had been spaced out the entire time.

"Hey, you need to eat something. Ok?" He said.

Y/n snapped out of her daze, fidgeting with the bear on her lap. She carried it around with her everywhere. Everyone in the orphanage made fun of her for it. But, it was something that brought a lot of comfort to her. Edward didn't mind it. He found comfort in books and y/n found comfort in a stuffed animal. What was the big deal?

"M' not really that hungry..." She murmured.

Edward scoffed softly, rubbing his hand over his forehead in frustration. He grabbed the fork and her hand, placing it on her palm. She looked up at him, eyes big and just as pretty as they were when he first saw her.

"Eat. Please? Just a few bites at least." He asked.

Y/n sighed, but gave in. She took a bite of her food, and Edward smiled. He was glad that she was eating. After a few more bites, she put the fork back down. He wanted to tell her to eat more, but he was just glad she ate something. Edward looked at her a little more closely, seeing how she was positioned and acting.

"Are you ok?" Edward questioned.

She shook her head, looking down at her lap. He wasn't quite sure what was wrong with her. Edward leaned forward, elbows propped on the table. She was picking at the fuzz on the bear; something she did when she was nervous or uncomfortable. He picked up on it immediately.

"Oh, is it...are you...?" He asked quietly, not wanting to draw attention to them.

She nodded.

"Um, ok. Do you want to go back to our room?" He asked.

She nodded again. Edward could tell that she was extremely uncomfortable. It was pretty obvious now. He stood up and picked his tray up.

"Are you done eating?"

Y/n nodded. Edward picked up her tray and placed it on top of his. He started to walk away, but y/n grabbed the sleeve of his shirt. Stopping, he turned around and looked down at her. He sighed. She didn't want him to leave her alone.

"Well, come with me then." He said.

Y/n stood up, holding one of the bear's arms in her hand tightly as she walked next to him. People stared at her, making her feel like she was in the spotlight. Everyone in the orphanage thought that Edward and y/n were the strangest kids in the building. So, when they stood next to each other, everyone looked. Why wouldn't they? They all wanted a look at the freaks. The two of them did their best to ignore it though as Edward put the trays on the counter. Quickly, they left the lunchroom and turned the corner. Within a minute, they were back in their room. Y/n walked to her bed and sat down on it, legs drawn up to her chest as her head hung between her knees. Edward grabbed a book from under his bed and walked over to her. He sat down on the foot of the bed, facing her as he opened up his book. This was a frequent thing that happened with y/n. Edward had concluded from observing (and sneaking onto the computer in the library for research) that y/n age regressed. It was a coping mechanism, no doubt to help her cope with her childhood trauma. She felt embarrassed of it, not wanting to be around anyone when it happened. Well, other than Edward. He wouldn't make fun of her. He didn't think it was weird. He actually helped her when it happened.

"Do you need to be alone or do you want company?" He asked, flipping through the book he had.

"Company." She said simply.

"Ok. Do you want to read with me?"

Y/n wiped a tear away from her eye, sniffling. She brought her head up, looking at what he was reading. The title said 'Frankenstein'. Y/n pointed at the cover of the book, tapping it multiple times. She wanted to say something, but she couldn't figure out how to say it. Edward gave her time.

"Is this the book where that guy makes that monster?" She asked finally.

"Yeah, I like it a lot. I've read it multiple times." He said.

"I wanted to read it." Y/n said.

"Want me to read it to you?" Edward suggested.

Y/n nodded, sitting next to him and resting her head on his shoulder. Once she was settled, he opened up the book. He was already more than halfway through, but he'd start over for her. He didn't mind. His fingers flipped through the pages until he found the first chapter. Adjusting his glasses, he cleared his throat before starting to read.

"To Mrs. Saville, England..."

~

The two of them kept going in and out of foster homes. No one ever wanted to 'keep' them. But, to be honest, they were ok with that. They didn't like being apart from each other. Every time y/n would come back, she would run into Edward's arms and cry. She would tell him how much she missed him and that she didn't want to leave him ever again. He felt so bad for her. Edward was certain that no one could take care of her quite like he could. He was the only one who knew her well. Well, eventually, Edward turned 18. Oh, y/n was a wreck. But, they had already made a plan.

~

"Hey, hey, it's ok! Your birthday is in a few months. You can hang in for a few more months, right?" He said gently, hugging her close to his chest.

"No I can't! Don't le-leave me!" She sobbed.

"I can't stay. You know that." Edward sighed.

He pushed y/n off of him, grabbing her shoulders. The poor thing had tears streaming down her face. How would she survive without him? Edward had always been there for her for almost 8 years straight. The people in the orphanage were so mean to her too. He wiped away her tears.

"Remember our plan? I was already given a job at KTMJ. While I'm out, I'll get an apartment for us. And when you turn 18, I'll be right behind those doors waiting for you. I promise you." He said.

Y/n sniffled, clearing her throat as she looked down at the ground. She sighed, holding back more tears from pouring out. Edward smiled at her as she looked back up at him. She had small grin on her face.

"Y-You're really smart, Eddie. Already ha-have a job and you haven't e-even left yet. You've got e-everything planned out..." She lightly chuckled.

"Of course I do, you know I'm a planner."

"Can I have one more hug?" She asked softly.

Edward nodded, giving her a tight hug for the millionth time. She wrapped her arms around his neck, letting out a shaky breath. Maybe if she never let go he would never have to leave. No, of course that wouldn't work. He had to go. She had to push through.

"Ok, I'll be ok..." She told herself as she pulled away from the hug.

"Yeah, you're brave and strong. You've got this." He reassured.

Edward picked up his suitcase that had his belongings in it. It wasn't much of course. He gave y/n another smile, ruffling her hair up. She swatted his hand away, glaring at him. Holding up his hands in defense, he walked towards the doors that left the orphanage. Y/n watched him leave, giving him a wave before he left her alone in the building.

'Now what?'

~

Well, Edward had kept his promise. When y/n was let go from the orphanage, he was outside waiting for her. She ran to him and practically jumped into his arms. From an outsiders perspective, it would look like they were a couple. But, they weren't. They were just really good friends. But, both of them would be lying if they said they didn't have feelings for the other. Regardless, Edward brought y/n to the apartment he had got for them. He could only afford a one bedroom apartment. Y/n understood, she didn't really have a problem with it. But, Edward being the gentleman he was let her sleep in his bed while he slept on the couch. Y/n looked for a job, though she had difficulty finding a good one. It was so hard for her to go out and be around other people. She was socially awkward and got so nervous so easily. But, she ended up landing a job as a barista at a coffee shop. Cliche? Sure. Did she care? No. She just wanted a job so she could help with rent. She was starting to get adjusted to life outside the orphanage, she could finally be in a comfortable setting, and she was living with her best friend. How could things get any better?

~

Edward and y/n sat at the table near the kitchen. The both of them had had a long day at work. Y/n yawned, taking a bite of her cereal. Yep, cereal for dinner once again. A meal for champions. That's what she liked to call it.

"Hey, y/n?" Edward said.

She looked up from her bowl, a dribble of the milk trickling from the corner of her mouth. Edward chuckled, placing his spoon down in the bowl. He leaned forward and used his thumb to wipe away the milk, giving her a soft smile. Y/n giggled at the action. Edward sighed, he wasn't really sure how to ask the question he so desperately wanted to ask. So, he decided to just be blunt with it.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" He asked.

Y/n's eyes widened, dropping her spoon in the bowl. Edward's eyes widened too, glancing around the room awkwardly. She nodded frantically, a huge smile plastered on her face. He gave a sigh of relief internally. Thank heavens. Because of how close they sat to each other, y/n grabbed his hand and entwined it with hers. She hummed, resting her cheek on the back of his hand. Edward watched her closely, seeing how comfortable she was around him. It made him happy to know that he could make her feel safe. He looked down to the newspaper in front of him, looking over the daily crossword. Y/n reached over and grabbed his pencil. Raising an eyebrow, he watched as she filled in 20 across. The hint was "a thing that becomes terrifying or destructive to its maker; a movie; a book". When she pulled away from the paper and placed the pencil on the table, he read what she wrote down.

'Frankenstein'

Grinning from ear to ear, he looked over at her. Pride was evident on his face, and y/n could see it. She so dearly loved when he was proud of her. He was the only person in her life that ever felt proud of her.

"Well look at you go! You smart cookie, you."

Y/n shrugged, resting her cheek back on his hand. Edward hummed to himself as he filled out the rest of the crossword puzzle. It took him a little under two minutes. It was a fairly easy crossword puzzle; at least for him it was. With a goofy grin on his face, he asked a question.

"Does this mean I can sleep in my bed again? With you?"

She nodded happily.

"Thank God..."

~

Edward knew that y/n was a bit of a handful. He had been 'dealing' with her for 8 years. But, he didn't really see it as a problem. He loved who she was. Yeah, she was different, but he loved that about her. He knew that she struggled with her trauma, but he wanted to help her with it. When you love someone, you'd do anything for them. That's exactly how Edward was. Usually, he was a very shy person, hating PDA and not wanting any attention brought onto him. But, now that he was dating her, PDA was inevitable. He now loved PDA. Granted, it wasn't like they were making out in public, except for that one time. Rather, they were always holding hands. Y/n was always in Edward's arms. He never let her out of his sight.

~

-PRESENT-

~

Y/n was in the 'lobby' of Edward's office. The receptionist casted glances at her occasionally. Looking at the nameplate, y/n saw that it said 'Amy Tompkins'. Standing up, y/n walked over to her and waved. Amy hesitantly waved back with a small smile.

"Hi! I'm y/n!" She said, holding out her hand.

Amy raised an eyebrow, but took her hand and shook it.

"Nice to meet you y/n, I'm Amy."

"Oh, I know! I read the plate! I just wanted to ask, is your job hard?" She asked, propping her elbows on the raised counter.

Tompkins smirked, amused at the question. When y/n had walked in earlier, she mentioned that she was just waiting for Edward to get off of work. People at the office had heard that Edward Nashton had a girlfriend, but they didn't really believe it. And now that Amy was actually seeing her, she was surprised. For Edward Nashton's girlfriend, they sure seemed to be the complete opposite of him.

"Uh, not really no. I mean, sometimes our clients can be...a bit rude...but other than that it's pretty easy." She answered.

"Hmph, I hate customer service so much." Y/n sighed.

"You work in customer service?" Amy asked.

"Yeah, I'm a barista."

"Oh, so you really get cranky customers, don't you?" She laughed.

Y/n groaned, nodding her head.

"You have no idea..."

Amy chuckled, looking down at the computer as she typed something. Y/n hummed to herself, glancing at the clock. Only a few more minutes before Edward got off of work. She glanced over her shoulders, as if she was trying to be sneaky about something. Y/n cupped a hand over her mouth.

"Do you have candy? I've heard receptionists usually have candies out." She whispered.

Amy couldn't help but let a giggle out. She nodded, grabbing a cute glass jar that had individually wrapped chocolates in it. Y/n's eyes widened. She had rarely ever had chocolate her entire life since she grew up in the orphanage. It was like a rare delicacy to her. Gotham's orphanages weren't the best when it came to taking care of kids.

"Oh my gosh...can I...can I have some?" She asked.

The receptionist nodded, pushing the bowl closer to her. Usually, she would be annoyed if someone was talking this much to her. But, y/n was actually really sweet and entertaining. Plus, she was extremely bored and got off work in a few minutes. Who cared, really?

"Have at it. You can take all of them if you want. I have to get new candy anyways." Amy said.

"No way! Are you serious! Like, for real!?"

"Yeah, help yourself."

Y/n didn't hesitate to grab a huge handful of the chocolates. Amy watched in amusement as y/n scooped the candy into her coat pocket. The door that led to the cubicles opened, and Edward stepped out. He was surprised to see y/n there because she was supposed to be at work still. But, then he remembered that she had the day off, so it made sense to him. His eyes landed on her hand in the candy jar and he looked at Amy. The receptionist had a dorky smile on her face.

"Eddie! Did you know they have chocolate here!? I can't even remember the last time I've had chocolate! Let alone see it!" She exclaimed.

Edward smiled awkwardly at Amy, stepping forward and grabbing y/n's hand. He propped his forearms up onto the counter as he looked at the receptionist. Y/n rested her head against his shoulder, getting the rest of the pieces of chocolate from the bowl and putting them in her pockets.

"Hey Amy, I know you're leaving soon, but could you do me a favor? Please?" He asked.

Amy smiled at the sight of Edward rubbing his thumbs over y/n's knuckles. She was a very romantic person and it warmed her heart to see the kind act. Plus, she had always been fond of Edward. People at work were far too mean to him when he was just a very kind person. She was glad to see that he had found happiness.

"Yeah, whaddya need?"

"Can you print out the files for the Wynn account? I would have printed them out myself, but I swear the printer in the copy room never has ink." He sighed.

"Yeah, no problem Ed."

Amy started to type on the keyboard, clicking with the mouse as she pulled up the files for the account. With another click, she had the papers printed out. Standing up from her chair, she walked over to the printer and waited for the pages to finish. Edward leaned over to his side, planting a kiss on y/n's head. She smiled, opening up one of the chocolate wrappers and popping the sweet treat in her mouth.

"Holy fuck this shit is so good!" She groaned.

Edward nudged her foot with his own. He had no problem with cussing, but they weren't really in an appropriate setting to cuss. She blushed, feeling embarrassed. Amy laughed, nodding her head as she attached the pages together with a paperclip and handed it to Edward.

"I know, that's kind of why I gave them all to you. If I eat anymore I swear I might pop." She joked.

"Thanks for the copies, Amy."

Edward nudged y/n again. Y/n knew what he was trying to communicate to her. She finished eating the chocolate as fast as she could.

"Thanks for the chocolate!" She smiled.

"No problem, you guys get home safe ok? I'll see you on Monday, Edward."

He walked towards the door, hand still entwined with y/n's as he waved to Amy. Y/n popped another chocolate in her mouth as Edward opened up the door.

"See you on Monday." He said.

The two of them walked out the door and made their way to the stairs. Y/n wanted to hop down over steps, but she held onto Edward's hand instead. She had missed him a lot all day. He looked over at her, seeing that she was eating another piece of chocolate. Shaking his head, he let out a breathy laugh.

"That was awfully nice of her to give you those chocolates. But, you know you can't eat them all tonight, right?" He asked.

Y/n looked at him, popping another chocolate in her mouth. He raised an eyebrow. She shrugged at him.

"Why not?" She asked.

"You're going to get extremely sick." He chuckled.

"That's a price I'm willing to pay." Y/n retorted.

"Oh yeah? Ok, well when you're puking later on I'll remind you that you said that." He rolled his eyes, opening up the front door to the building.

The two of them walked down to the subway, sitting on a bench and waiting for a train. Y/n dug into her bag with the hand that wasn't holding Edwards and grabbed her phone. She turned it on, put in her password, and showed it to Edward. He adjusted his glasses, looking at what was on the screen. He smiled when he realized what it was.

"There were two pigeons just hanging out outside of our apartment! It was so cute! Look, they're cuddling!" She said, shoving it in his face.

"Uh, well I can't really see it this close up." He said.

"Oh, yeah, oops." She said, pulling the phone away slightly.

"That's a cute picture though." He said, kissing her on the forehead.

The train arrived shortly after and the two of them got on it. Y/n yawned, using Edward's hand to cover her mouth as they both sat down. He smiled, letting go of her hand and placing it on her knee as he looked at his phone.

"You tired?" He asked.

The train started to move and Edward held onto her knee firmly so she didn't slide. He did that every single time. He would hold her hip and keep her close to him if they were standing and he would place his hand on her knee if they were sitting down. Edward was far from strong, but he did feel very protective over her. Living in Gotham was far from safe, so you always had to keep an eye out. But, no matter how many times he told that to y/n, she just couldn't seem to understand it. She was too friendly for her own good. So, he had to be extra careful for both of them. He did not consider himself to be a violent person, but if y/n was ever put in a bad situation, he was certain he would pulverize someone.

"A little, yeah..." She sighed.

"Well, maybe you should take a nap?" He suggested.

She nodded, yawning again as she laid on her side. Her head rested on his lap as she drew her knees to her chest. Edward smirked, amused at how eager she was to nap. He did not mean that she should nap at this very moment. But, as he saw her resting on his lap, he couldn't bring himself to move her. People were no doubt staring at the both of them, but he honestly did not care. Edward had seen far stranger things in Gotham's subways than someone taking a nap on someone's lap. He put his hand on her head, brushing his fingers through her hair as he went on his phone.

~

The train had stopped and the two of them had gotten off. Edward had to wake y/n up before that, and she was pretty grumpy. But, he told her that she could go right back to taking a nap when they got home. Just like he always did, he held onto her hand securely as they exited the subway station. Their apartment building was only a block away now. Y/n popped another piece of chocolate into her mouth, making Edward frown.

"Seriously, you should stop eating those. You're going to regret it later." He said.

"Are you threatening me, Edward Nashton?" She questioned.

"No, I'm just stating a fact. I know you. You like to eat a lot of candy, say that you'll be fine, and then you get really sick later on. Every. Single. Time."

"Ugh, fine. Whatever..." She grumbled.

He kissed her on the head.

"Thank you, sweetie."

Edward continued walking with her, but stopped when he felt his pocket was empty. Furrowing his eyebrows, he turned around. He groaned in irritation, looking back at y/n. He brought her over to the less crowded part of the sidewalk.

"I dropped my keys back there. Stay right here ok? I'll be right back." He said.

Y/n watched as he rounded the corner. But, as soon as he did that, people started walking towards her as well. She felt crowded and she pressed herself to the brick wall of the building. It was as if the wall of a dam broke and the water was flowing out rapidly. Her chest tightened and she felt her breathing pick up. It was a little sad how easily she got overwhelmed and anxious. But, to be fair, the streets of Gotham were overwhelming to almost everyone. She was just unable to process it alone. There was a reason she got a job at the closest place to their apartment. It was because she didn't want to have to take the subway or walk far. Only when it was absolutely necessary. She was trying to get better at it, but it took time. She felt like she was suffocating. She looked around, trying to find Edward. But, because of her spinning around, she got a little confused. The crowds of people made her feel like she was lost in a maze. Desperate to get out of the confining swarm of bodies, she ran into the nearest alley way. She panted, holding a hand over her heart as she tried to catch her breath. Being in that crowd reminded her of when she was with her parents. They would take her to 'crack houses', as they were both heavy addicts. They had no one else to watch her, so she had to tag along with them a lot. The houses were always so crowded and overwhelmed her. Often times, her parents would leave her alone in a room so they could shoot up in the other room. How polite...they didn't want their daughter seeing them get high. But, of course, they would bring her to a house full of drug addicts. There were so many times that she would almost step on or touch a needle. One of the people there even tried to get her to 'eat' a sliver of meth, telling her that it was candy. She didn't though. She was smarter than that.

"Y/n?! Y/n! Where are you?!" Edward called out.

She sunk down to her butt, bringing her knees up to her chest. When she got scared or was put into a scenario that reminded her of her traumatic childhood, she would regress. It was unpreventable. She could tell that it was happening, and that made her even more scared because she was out in the streets of Gotham while it was happening. She was so caught up in her emotions that she never even heard Edward call for her. Frantically, Edward came into the alley and looked around. His eyes widened as he saw y/n sitting on the ground. He was relieved to see her, but he was also worried. Walking over, he crouched down and placed a hand on her shoulder. She flinched, burying her head in between her knees. Just like she did in the orphanage. He gently embraced her in a hug, drawing her to his chest as he cradled her head.

"I was so scared when I couldn't find you..." He sighed.

"You let go of my hand!" She cried.

Edward felt a pang in his heart. She was right. That was a stupid thing that he did. He easily could have just brought her with him. Why didn't he? Even he didn't know. He helped her stand up, still holding her close to his chest. She sobbed into his shirt, gripping the fabric tightly. Edward scolded himself as he rubbed her back.

"I'm so sorry, baby. I don't know why I let go of you. It was really crowded today, and I know it scares you. But, I have you right now, ok? You're ok now." He cooed, planting a kiss on her head.

She didn't say anything. All she did was cry into his shirt. God, did that make him feel like a total piece of shit. Of course he didn't mean to scare her. He just wasn't thinking. Edward continued to rub her back as she cried. He could tell what was happening. She had gotten so overwhelmed and scared that she regressed to help herself calm down. It wasn't working that well, though. But, he was quick to help out.

"Sweet girl, I know that you're still shaken up, but we can't stay here all night. We need to get back home, ok?" He said.

"I don't want to go back out..." She hiccupped.

Edward pushed her away from the hug and crouched down. He looked up into her eyes as he held her hands in his own. Bringing them to his lips, he kissed them softly. His eyes were so kind and gentle behind his clear framed glasses.

"We have to baby. I promise I'll hold you the entire time."

She sniffled, wiping a few tears away that had trickled down her cheeks. Y/n looked out to the sidewalks. People still walked by, but it was less than before. She took a deep breath, letting it out through pursed lips. Edward tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"When we get back home we can watch a movie or a show if you want. We can relax alllll day. Doesn't that sound nice?" Edward asked sweetly.

"Yeah..."

"Well, if you want to do that then we need to get home. So, can you go back out with me? I can't go out without you." He frowned.

"You ca-can't?" She asked.

"No way! I get scared out in the crowd too! I feel a lot better when you're holding my hand." Edward smiled.

This was partially true and also just something he said to encourage y/n. Edward was perfectly fine walking through the crowded sidewalks of Gotham. He did get overwhelmed sometimes and had to take a breather, but he was mostly fine. He only said that because he knew that it would make y/n want to go back out more. Edward felt that they would be safer out in the street than an alley way.

"O-Ok, let's go. But, don't let go of my hand!" She said.

Edward grabbed her hand tightly, holding it up so she could see it. She smiled as he pretended he was locking a padlock. He mimed the act of tossing the key away. Looking back to her he gave a goofy grin.

"It's locked. I couldn't even let go if I tried."

They walked back out onto the sidewalk, making their way towards the apartment quickly. Y/n looked at him and giggled.

"Well, how are you going to unlock it?" She asked.

As they walked, Edward patted himself down with his free hand. He looked in the pockets of his coat, the pockets of his pants, and he shrugged. But, he squinted at y/n. He tapped on her chin, motioning for her to open her mouth. He pretended to grab something off her tongue. He 'held' it up between his two fingers.

"Why were you trying to eat the spare key?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I did not! You're not even holding anything!" She laughed.

"Pfft, you're ruining the magic of it." He rolled his eyes.

Before they knew it, they arrived at the apartment building. Y/n sighed in relief as they stepped inside. The sound of the hustle and bustle outside was deafened as the door closed behind them. Edward, still holding her hand, led her up the stairs to the floor they lived on. He fumbled with the keys for a little bit, but he eventually unlocked the door and opened it up. Y/n let go of his hand as she walked inside, so she could hang up her coat. After that, she went to the couch and faceplanted on it. Edward chuckled, removing his shoes and locking the apartment door. Truth be told, he was completely exhausted from his day at work. His 'higher ups' were as ignorant and boastful as always. His job was easy to him, but the people he had to deal with made it difficult. However, y/n always kept him in a cheerful and positive mood. It was nice to be able to come home from work and spend time with his best friend/partner. Edward walked over to her, grabbing her feet to take her shoes off. Once he did that for her, he put them next to his. He could tell that she was still very tired, and no doubt still in a regressed state. Edward went to her coat, grabbing the chocolate out of the pocket before he forgot. Walking into the kitchen, he opened up the door to the freezer and put the chocolates inside of it. Chocolate was always better when it was cold.

"Do you want to watch a show or movie? Or do you want to take a nap?" He asked, going back towards her.

Y/n mumbled into the couch, nodding her head. Edward sighed, putting his hands in the pockets of his pants as he looked at her. She raised her hands up, shaking them frantically. He rolled his eyes playfully, he sat down on the long part of the 'L' couch. Groaning softly, he reached over and grabbed y/n, placing her on his other side so that she was wedged between him and the armrest of the couch. She buried her face in his chest, hiking her leg up over his waist. Edward reached over and grabbed a light blanket, draping it over y/n's body.

"You never gave me an answer, baby. Do you want to take a nap or watch something?" He asked..

"I wanna watch something." She mumbled, her cheek against his chest.

"Ok, well what did you have in mind?" He asked.

She shrugged her shoulders, snuggling up closer to him. He sighed, trailing his hand under the blanket to rub her back. Edward took her silence as a way to say she didn't really care what they watched. So, he decided to put on a 'Forensic Files'. How original. After placing the remote down on the side table next to the couch, he stroked y/n's hair. She sat up almost instantly afterwards. Edward looked at her, raising an eyebrow. Without saying a word, she went into their bedroom. Edward's hands were slightly in the air, like he was shocked.

"Um, what ever happened to saying bye?" He asked jokingly.

Y/n came back to the couch, cuddling up to Edward just like she did before. This time, she had her old bear from the orphanage with her. He smiled, watching as she turned to face the T.V, bear tucked under her arm, blanket covering her body, and her head resting on his chest. If someone told him 8 years ago that he would be in a relationship with someone like y/n, he would have called them crazy. But, here he was, holding her in his arms like she was the most precious thing in the world. They both had fucked up pasts, traumatic childhoods, and issues. But, they found comfort in each other's company. They could confide in each other without any judgment. Edward could not imagine him with anyone else than her. Neither could y/n. They only wanted to be with each other. No one would understand y/n quite like Edward did. And vice versa.

"Are you comfortable?" He asked.

She nodded.

"Mhm, super comfy."

"I'm glad, sweetheart."

Y/n smiled, getting up and sitting on his lap. Edward folded his hands together, fingers entwined and resting on his lower stomach. When y/n was coping, Edward made sure he didn't touch her in any way that could be sexual. He would cuddle with her, kiss her on the head or cheek, and let her sit on his lap if she really wanted to. But, he would never do anything other than those things. Sure, y/n sat on his lap a lot, especially when they were making out or having sex. But, there was a very big difference in the those two situations. When y/n and Edward were intimate, y/n would be very close to him on his lap. Their bodies would practically be glued to each other. It was clear that it was a heated and sexual gesture. But, when y/n was regressed, it was gentle. She wasn't up close to him, rather sitting in the space between his legs. Or, sometimes she would straddle the area where his knees were, that way it didn't resemble anything sexual. Y/n trusted Edward enough to be in a vulnerable state around him, and her trust was well placed. In fact, when y/n found herself regressing out in public, Edward was always quick to do what was necessary for the situation. Y/n didn't mind regressing in public, it just depended on where they were. If they were in a large setting, Edward would find a way to excuse themselves or leave the place quickly. If they were in a pretty 'relaxed' place, like an arcade, a mall, or a park, Edward would just help her through the regression. Y/n's regression was not noticeable to anyone except Edward, since he knew that she actually did it. To everyone else, it just looked like y/n was really energetic and clingy. Maybe a little bit childish too. One time when Edward and y/n were at the zoo, y/n ended up regressing. And, despite all the strange looks he received, he did not care. He was just focused on having a nice date with his girlfriend and letting her heal her inner child.

~

"Eddie! Look, they have flamingos!" Y/n squealed, grabbing him by his hand and dragging him to the exhibit.

Edward, who was looking at the Zebras, let out a little yelp. The tugging on his arm startled him. When y/n got excited, she got a sort of super-human strength. Not wanting his arm to rip off, he followed her in suite, stopping in front of the exhibit with her. She was practically bouncing on her heels. This was the first time she had ever been to the zoo, and it was Edward's first time as well. Edward was having fun, but he wasn't jumping up and down in excitement. Y/n on the other hand, quite literally was jumping up and down. He knew that she was going through her coping mechanism, no doubt having a fun time at the zoo. To be honest, that's why he wanted to take her to the zoo. He wanted to give her a fun experience that she never got as a kid. Edward held onto her hand gently, smiling at how happy she was. When he glanced around, he noticed people staring at her. It made him upset for sure. He didn't want y/n to see the looks people were giving her, so he decided to keep her occupied.

"You like them?" He asked, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles.

"Yeah! But, they aren't that pink..." She frowned.

He smirked, pushing up his glasses. With his free hand, he pointed at one of the smallest flamingos. Y/n followed the direction he was pointing at. She saw the young flamingo and looked up at him, eyes wide with wonder.

"Well, flamingos aren't born with pink feathers. They actually start off a pale grey." He said.

"Woah, really!?" She gasped.

He nodded.

"They get the pink color from eating carotenoids. That's where the pink hues come from. So, it's a little difficult for them to get bright pink, even though that's how we think they look like. You see that one? It's more red in color, right? Not one flamingo has the same shade." Edward explained.

Y/n looked up at him with a confused look. She understood most of what he was saying. But, she had no idea what a carotenoid was. Edward could see that she was puzzled, so he decided to explain a little more.

"They get the pink color from shrimp and crabs, stuff like that." He said simply.

"Oh! That makes sense!"

Without saying anything, she grabbed him by his arm once again and drug him away. He had no idea where they were going now, only that she was eager. Passerby's watched the couple with judgmental eyes, scoffing and mumbling things under their breath to themselves or the people next to them. Edward glared back at each and every one of them. They had no idea what was going on in their life. People were so quick to judge others. What made it worse, however, is that the happier someone was in public, the 'weirder' they were. That was what boggled Edward's mind. Someone could be having an amazing day, dancing in the park because maybe they got a promotion at work, or maybe they just felt happy for some reason. But, just because that person was dancing in the park, people would automatically think they were 'weird' or 'strange'. There was nothing wrong with being happy and expressing it in public. It didn't matter what age you were. Why should someone be forced to hide their emotions in public? It was stupid to Edward. And, in y/n's case, it was a coping mechanism for her. But, of course, these assholes didn't know that. If they did know, they would probably be more cruel to her for some strange reason. Edward hated people so much...for such an advanced society, humans sure as hell knew nothing about sympathy and kindness. He had seen wild animals be more caring than most humans.

"Where are we going now, sweetie?" He asked, maintaining his quick pace to keep up with her.

"Gift shopppp!!!" She squealed.

Edward rolled his eyes and chuckled. Of course they were going to the gift shop. Well, he did put aside some money for some souvenirs. After all, this was her first time at the zoo. He knew that she would want a couple (hundred) stuffed animals.

"Alright, alright, but let's slow down a bit, yeah? I don't want you to trip." He said.

Y/n nodded, slowing her pace. Smiling, he walked next to her as they went down the path to the gift shop. It was a surprisingly sunny day in Gotham, and Edward could see some redness forming on her cheeks, shoulders, and the tip of her nose. He furrowed his eyebrows.

"Y/n, you put on sunscreen like I told you to, right?" He asked.

She looked at him, eyes shifting around.

"Uh, yeah..." Y/n trailed.

Edward sighed as he stepped aside, pulling y/n with him. The two of them finally made it to the gift shop, standing in the shade the building provided. In classic Edward fashion, he removed the backpack he had on. Yes, he took a backpack to the zoo. What was it filled with? Oh, you know...

Sunscreen, band-aids, a metal water bottle, granola bars, sunglasses, etc...

"Y/n, you know better than to lie like that. And, you should have listened to me in the first place. Your poor skin is getting sunburnt." He scolded gently, setting the backpack on a bench next to him.

"Sorry...I forgot to put it on." She admitted.

"It's ok to forget things, sweetie. But, you know you shouldn't lie."

He sighed, pulling out the sunscreen.

"You're already sunburnt, but I'm still going to put some sunscreen on you." Edward said.

Y/n nodded, letting him apply the sunscreen onto his hands before rubbing it into her skin. He was such a worry wart. But, that's what made him a great boyfriend. Y/n never had to ask him to help her out with something, she never had to plan everything, she never had to remind Edward about what she liked and disliked. He would help her without being asked, plan dates with her, and Edward knew everything about her. He was the perfect boyfriend, and he loved her terribly.

"Oh you poor thing..." He mumbled to himself, able to see how sunburnt she really was.

She winced when he applied the sunscreen on her shoulders. Edward shook his head in disapproval. He knew that she forgot to put it on, that was ok. Honestly, he was just upset with himself for not checking before they entered the zoo. Gently, he rubbed some onto her cheeks and nose, closing the lid to the bottle afterwards. He looked down at his hands, grumbling as he rubbed the excess onto his own arms. He hated the texture of the rub-on sunscreen. But, this was the only one he had for some strange reason.

"Alright, you're ok now. But, it's going to hurt later on. Good thing we have that aloe vera plant back home, right?" He asked, kissing her on the head before grabbing her hand.

"Yeah, now let's go in the gift shop!" She exclaimed.

"More concerned about souvenirs than your own skin. That sounds like you." He smirked.

They spent about 15 minutes in that store. Y/n was so indecisive about what she wanted. She had asked Edward if they could just "get everything". He, very seriously, said "no". So in the end, after running around the store and receiving weird looks from parents with their children, she decided on getting two things. Edward was only going to let her get one thing, but he caved in. Y/n got a seagull stuffed animal, but she named it Flamingo. Edward found that to be very amusing, as she said it was because it looked more like a baby flamingo. He was proud that she was using his tidbit of information. The other thing she got, however, was a rat stuffed animal. Edward liked that very much. He loved rats, though the orphanage gave both y/n and Edward a horrible first experience with them. On a date, they had went to a pet store and asked to hold some of the rats, hoping it would help them get over their fear of them. And it worked. Now, Edward thought they were the cutest things. She named the rat stuffed animal Remy, like the one in Ratatouille. The two of them left the store, and y/n shoved Remy into Edward's chest.

"Hold him and pretend he's your child." She said.

Edward scoffed, cradling it in his arms.

"I don't have to pretend. He is my child." He retorted.

Y/n giggled, flapping the wings of Flamingo. Edward smiled, holding her hand with his free hand. He swung their arms back and forth as they walked down the dirt path.

"You want to get some ice cream?" He asked.

"YES!"

~

Edward shook himself out of his memories, glancing past y/n's head to watch the T.V. She didn't mind. Y/n knew he wasn't ignoring her, he would never ignore her. In fact, they were both sure it was impossible for him to do that.

"You wanna tell me about your day, sweet girl?" He asked.

"Um, well, I didn't really do much..." She mumbled, picking at the fuzz of the bear.

Edward raised an eyebrow, glancing at her briefly before looking back at the T.V.

"Oh come on, you must have done something while I was at work."

Y/n thought for a moment, reflecting on her day. She looked around the open apartment, glancing at the kitchen. Her gaze went back to Edward.

"Well, I did some chores!" Y/n smiled.

Edward looked at her, stroking her hair briefly. Again, he made sure not to touch her in any intimate way. A kind smile was on his face.

"That's great! I'm so proud of you, sweetheart. Did you do anything else?" He cooed.

"Uh, not really..." She blinked harshly.

Edward watched carefully as she got off of his lap, sitting on the couch. He let it play out, knowing what was going on. She was feeling better. She was feeling more secure. So, the age regression was not really necessary any longer. Sometimes y/n had control over when she did it, and sometimes she didn't. Edward had guessed that today was one of the times she couldn't control it. It wasn't like she became a totally different person in it, not at all. She just regressed to a younger age. She was still herself, though. Y/n stared at the T.V for a little while. Edward gave her time to adjust, smiling at her when she looked back at him.

"You let go of my hand, you fucker." She glared.

Edward groaned, throwing his head back on the couch. He threw up his hands in defeat. Y/n smiled as he covered his eyes with his palms.

"Oh for the love of..."

Y/n laughed, rolling her eyes as she cuddled up next to him. He smirked, hooking his arm over her shoulders. She could feel his heartbeat as her ear was against his chest. It rose and fell with every breath he took.

"I'm messing with you, babe. I know you didn't mean to." She said.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." He joked.

Edward held her close to him, planting a kiss on her cheek. Y/n hummed in peace as she closed her eyes. The sleepiness she felt earlier was creeping back into her body. But, a flapping noise caught her attention. She sat up instantly, grabbing the collar of Edward's shirt tightly, making his eyes widen in surprise.

"Jesus, I said I'm sorry!" He held up his hands in defense.

"What? No, not that! Shh!" Y/n whispered.

Edward went quiet, pausing the T.V. The two of them listened closely, the flapping noise was faint and muffled. Y/n's eyes lit up, poking Edward on the shoulder and motioning towards the window. His mouth formed an 'o' as he slowly got up from the couch. Y/n and him treaded silently toward the window, pulling aside the curtains and looking at the fire escape. Lo and behold, two pigeons sat on the metal landing, cuddled up next to each other. She looked at Edward, a huge grin on her face. He smiled, watching the pigeons as his dimples formed on his cheeks.

"That's so us." She whispered.

"100%." He agreed.

Y/n looked up at Edward from her crouched over position. Dramatically, she stood up and grabbed his hands. He raised an eyebrow as she took a deep breath.

"Edward...will you ruffle my feathers and feed me your hotdogs?" Y/n asked softly.

He let out a little laugh.

"I genuinely can't tell if you're trying to make a sexual innuendo, a romantic joke, or if you're being serious."

"All three." She replied quickly.

"Hmm, I'm a little busy today. I can ruffle your feathers on Sunday, but the hotdog feeding will have to wait till Tuesday." He tutted, looking down at his watch.

"What's more important than ruffling my feathers and feeding me a hotdog?" She asked, a hand on her hip.

He scoffed, motioning towards the T.V. Replicating her sassiness, he placed a hand on his hip as well. God, he looked like a total nerd. It was adorable.

"Um, obviously binge watching an entire season of Forensic Files with my girlfriend. Which is you, by the way." He added at the end, cupping his mouth with his hand.

"Oh, that does sound pretty important. Man, that's really conflicting...all of those options sound so good." She sighed, tapping her foot on the ground.

"Can't decide, huh?" He asked.

She shook her head. Shrugging his shoulders, he lunged forward and grabbed her by the hips. With a lift of his knees, he slung y/n over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Y/n squealed, playfully hitting his back with her fists. Her legs flailed slightly as well.

"Edward Nashton! You put me down this instant!" Y/n ordered.

He walked over to the couch, sitting down on the long part of it as he spread open his legs slightly. Edward laid y/n between that space so she was facing the T.V. She turned her head to face him, eyes glaring hard. He pressed play, placing the remote back down as he widened his eyes at her in a playfully challenging way.

"There. I decided for you." He said, kissing her on the lips.

"Pfft, you're lucky you're a cutie." Y/n scoffed.

He chuckled, rubbing her arms as he watched the show. Y/n sighed happily, resting her head against his chest. Edward leaned down to her ear, whispering in it.

"Do you want pizza for dinner?"

"Edward, if you get pizza, you're forgiven of all your past transgressions."

"We also have ice cream in the freezer for dessert." He added.

"I think I love you." She said.

"Wow, that's pretty cool. It's almost like we've been best friends for nearly 9 years and are dating each other." He said, dialing the pizza place on his phone.

"Yeah, some corny rom-com bullshit like that." Y/n yawned, watching the T.V.

"Like Pretty Woman?" He asked.

"Well, I'm not a sex worker. So, not really."

"13 Going On 30?"

"Edward, we're not 30. And, I did not get covered in magical glitter as a 13 year old. So, again, a no. Although, I do love that movie." She chuckled.

"Clueless?"

"Fuck I love that movie too. Still doesn't apply though. Are you just listing all the rom-coms you know?" Y/n asked, turning around to face him with an eyebrow raised.

He looked at her silently for a moment. His eyes narrowed in thought. Slowly, he brought his hand up, pointing at her.

"I've got it! 50 Shades of Grey."

"Edward, I swear I'm going to choke you."

"See! We're already relating to the movie!" He smiled.

"EDWA-"

He covered her mouth as the call started. Y/n bit his hand the entire time he placed the order, making him look at her in confusion and amusement. Once he hung up, he removed his hand from over her mouth.

"My hand is not food."

"It's not a gag either." She retorted.

"You're making us sound more and more like 50 Shades of Grey." Edward chuckled.

"Well, you're not a rich dude who made me sign a sex contract. Thank God for that."

"Whatever. I know what rom-com we are." He stated proudly.

"Oh really? What?" Y/n asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

"The Office. You're Pam. I'm Jim." He said, doing finger guns at her.

"Edward...that's...literally the most perfect answer. Not really a rom-com, but it's a great answer. I also would have accepted Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich from My Little Pony."

"Shit, that's a good answer too. Weird Al and My Little Pony was one of the greatest crossovers in history. Along with Lady Gaga in the show as well." He admitted.

"This. This is exactly why I'm dating you. You get me." She said, poking the tip of his nose.

"They also had a Walter White crossover in the show. That was fucking awesome." He chuckled.

"Holy shit, I forgot about that! Bless My Little Pony. Bless Breaking Bad." Y/n fake prayed.

"Do you think Walter and Jesse explored each other's bodies?" He asked.

"Christ, Edward what the hell?"

Sighing, she stood up and started to walk away from the couch. Edward lurched forward and grabbed her hips, pulling her back onto his lap.

"Nah uh, you're not going anywhere!" He said, attacking her neck with kisses.

"Let me go you psychopath!" She squealed.

"Not until you give me your answer!" He said, kissing all over her face and neck.

"IT'S OBVIOUSLY A YES!"

He pulled away, looking at her with wide eyes.

"Obviously! There was sexual tension and it was heavy." He stated.

"Honestly, I don't blame Walter. If I was around that fucking...meth head, homeless looking...oh boy..." She shook her head.

"Oh? Do I need to be worried?" He asked cautiously.

"No, I'd just simply slap him around, waterboard him, and then give him a big ol' kiss." She shrugged.

"Hmm, ok. Well, that's totally normal. How about we never let you near any water while around me?" He suggested.

"I'm not going to waterboard you, Edward." She scoffed.

"Well, that's a relief. You're still a little weird for wanting to slap him around though." He added.

"That's funny coming from you seeing as how last night yo-"

"Ok, yeah haha very funny. Shhh." He teased, kissing her on the forehead.

"Mhm, that's what I thought."

"Yeah, you're real clever. Now, let's watch Forensic Files." He chuckled, stroking her hair.

~

[seiwas]

Hi Sel!! Sorry i'm replying a bit late - it's assessment week for me again :( I used to listen to exo all the time!! BTS and EXO were my first kpop groups back in 2017-18... I absolutely LOVED 'Lotto' 'Overdose' and 'The Eve'

AND OMG ICB U SINGLED OUT THE LYRICS TOO FOR THE EX!GOJO ONE 😭😭😭 U GET IT AKNSKDJDJ i get so sad thinking abt it fr 😭😭😭

The lyrics are so dear to me 🥺 Even if it's not Ex!Gojo, they are very Satoru coded regardless.. his love is so tragic even when happy 😭😭 and the haikyu movie!! omfg I have been craving sm Kuroo it's crazy.. I don't know a lot of haikyu writers tho.. if you have any recs please let me know 😞🙏🏼 I gasped when he came on... my precious cocky bastard (affectionate). And the fact that he's Gojo's VA!! when he laughed i was so 🥺🥺 I miss him too... and I definitely agree! how they will fit everything in one movie idk... I really hope they listen to reviews and make another season... I'm so so sad that Haikyu end is coming.. like Sel I can't I'll cry 😭😭

may i ask why u give it an 8/10 ?? 😮 like why the minus 2!!!!

I docked one point because they didn't have an Oikawa cameo :// which is CRIMINAL after how crazy everyone went for the earphone scene.. HAHA but honestly it was just too short imo.. it was very focused on the background of the characters (which I absolutely love!! we got to see baby KuroKen after all 🥺) but... at moments I was on the edge of my seat and then a (almost oddly timed) flashback would occur which would take away the adrenaline rush. Unlike usually, there was not much tension in the first set .. and then it felt like all of a sudden we were at the final set. There was not much emphasis on the game playing itself - I didn't even realise the game was over 😮 In a season the match would be more paced out, detailed and longer which I kinda wish for.. But i don't regret it going to watch it!!

I hope you have a lovely weekend <3 🍧 anon

🍧 anon hello!!! welcome back!! 🥺 no worries about it at all 🥺 i hope you're catching breaks in between your busy sched!!

omg!!! an exo 2017 fan 🥺🥺 lotto is one of my fave exo eras bc baekhyun looked SOOO good in it (and im a sucker for mafia aus LOL)

so true omg his love is tragic even when happy djgbjas and haikyuu fics!! omg @tetsuskei @tetzoro are the resident kuroo lovers that i know of 🥺 as for fic recs... i tag my kuroo fics with #tetsurou !!! so you can browse through there if you'd like 🥺 i'll share some of the ones i remember under the cut too!

irda ( @haztory ) writes some of my fave fics, kuroo ones included! you can browse through her masterlist

lia ( @chimielie ) is my iwaizumi girlie but i think she has a few kuroo ones too!

monty ( @shibaraki ) has also written a ton for haikyuu!! and i love everything monty makes 🥺

augustine ( @augustinewrites ) also has a fair bunch of haikyuu!! stuff!! looove augustine's takes always

new light by @/eightonenine (college!kuroo, which is my fave way to read him)

wanderwithme on ao3; somewhere only we know (4 + 1 fic) & good luck, have fun (gamer!kuroo)

and omg ure so real for docking a point bc of the lack of oikawa cameo 😭😭😭😭 i would throw a fit. jHBSDHFS and i completely get what you mean!!! i kinda hate when things are shown like that jshdbfsd i agree that having it be in a season would have had better pacing 🥺 i'll think about it some more 🥺 but how it looks right now, it feels like i'll just end up watching it from my laptop one of these days 😭

i hope you have the loveliest weekend as well!!!

[cherryrainn]

the perfect pair {onceler x reader}

.15 | 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐛𝐲𝐞, 𝐦𝐲 𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 |

warning; s3lf harm, self-hatred, depression, mental health issues, etc, and A LOT OF ANGST!!

wattpad ver

song to play while reading if you’d like that i think matches this chapter

part before

next part

sitting on the balcony, you gazed out at the bleak view. the absence of trees pained you deeply. it had been weeks since you last saw the lorax, and you wondered what he was up to. dread filled your thoughts, overshadowing any sense of hope.

as the door creaked open behind you, you turned your head to behold the sight of onceler entering the room. he tossed his glasses casually onto the desk and settled himself into the chair, his eyes fixated on the mini thneedville before him. a small smile adorned his face.

in that tranquil moment, a soft voice broke the silence, seemingly materializing by your side. "so, how are things?" the words hung in the air, carrying an air of genuine concern and curiosity.

with a graceful swivel of his chair, onceler turned to face the voice, only to find the lorax sitting there, his presence both unexpected and unsettling. the lines of frustration etched themselves across onceler's brow as he questioned the lorax's presence. "what are you doing here?" he asked, a tinge of anger coloring his tone.

the lorax turned around slowly, his eyes heavy with a mix of weariness and disappointment. "happy yet?" he retorted, his voice laced with a hint of sorrow. "you fill that hole deep down inside you..? or do you still need more?" he shook his head, a solemn gesture that mirrored the weight of his words.

onceler, feeling the rising tension, couldn't contain his frustration any longer. he stood up abruptly, his hands gesturing wildly in the air. "look," he exclaimed, his voice filled with both defiance and a plea for understanding. "if you got a problem.. with what im doing, why haven't you used your...," he paused, using his fingers to form quotation marks, "...quote-unquote powers to stop me?"

the lorax, his eyes filled with a mixture of sadness and understanding, lowered his gaze and sighed. "i told you, that's not how it works," he confessed, his voice tinged with a hint of resignation.

onceler, unable to contain his frustration, closed the distance between them, his voice edged with accusation. "right... i forgot," he retorted, his finger pointed sharply at the lorax. "you're a fraud!"

you sat there, unsure of what to do or say, caught between the weight of their words. without warning, you rose from your seat, compelled to intervene and bridge the widening divide. however, before you could utter a word, onceler's voice boomed, drowning out your attempts to calm things down. "i need you to get out. now!" he pointed towards the stairs, his gesture carrying a mix of command and desperation.

the lorax, unfazed by onceler's outburst, leaped from the balcony railing, landing on the floor below. he raised an eyebrow, his words laced with a painful truth. "why? do i make you uncomfortable? remind you of the promises you made? the man you used to be?"

the impact of his words reverberated in the room, lingering like a bitter aftertaste. "well-" you got cut off, onceler unleashed his frustration, yelling at the lorax with a raw intensity. "you know what? you can just... shut your mustache!" his fingers formed a gesture of silence as he positioned himself in front of the lorax, his pointing finger guiding him towards the staircase. you reached out, attempting to pull onceler back, pleading for him to calm down. "onceler, calm down!"

ignoring your pleas, onceler shrugged off your hands and pressed on, relentless in his tirade. "my conscience is clear," he proclaimed defiantly. "i have done nothing illegal. i have my rights and intend to keep on biggering and biggering..." his finger remained pointed directly at the lorax, his accusation leaving no room for doubt.

"and turning more truffula trees into thneeds!" he proclaimed, their confrontation reaching a crescendo as they reached the bottom of the stairs.

with a resounding thud, the lorax fell to the ground, his body language reflecting a sense of defeat. the sight pained you, a pang of guilt settling in your heart. despite your attempts to diffuse the situation, the divide between onceler and the lorax seemed irreparable.

onceler declared, "and nothing... is going to stop me!" the weight of his words hung in the air, an ominous reminder of the choices that had led them to this precipice.

but.. in the distance, the last truffula tree fell, shattering the fragile hope that remained. its descent was agonizingly slow, each crack of wood echoing the irreparable damage inflicted. the air grew heavy with despair, and a suffocating silence settled over the desolate wasteland.

the lorax's voice dripped with a bitter mix of sorrow and frustration. "well, that's it... the very last one," he uttered, his words carrying the weight of an impending extinction. "that may stop ya'..."

onceler's face showed a range of emotions—confusion, realization, and sadness. he stood up, looking around at the barren landscape. there wasn't a single tree in sight, and he knew it was all his fault.

"it's all gone..."

you watched, feeling a heavy sadness in your heart. the devastation seemed overwhelming, and you couldn't shake the feeling of helplessness.

it wasn't long before onceler's family pulled up in their van, leaving you and the lorax bewildered by their sudden arrival. isabella rolled down the window and delivered a crushing blow. "son... you have let me down," she said, her voice dripping with disappointment. then she turned to bret, her face lighting up with a smile. "you are now my favorite child."

anger burned within you as you witnessed the blatant favoritism. isabella quickly shifted back to her stern expression and pressed the gear, and with a cloud of dust, they were gone. you and the lorax stood there, feeling the weight of the moment. onceler turned his gaze towards you and the lorax, seeing you standing together with sad expressions.

suddenly, you heard a light pitter-patter behind you. turning around, you saw all the animals approaching. onceler instinctively raised his hands in defense, attempting to defuse the situation. "hey, look, i don't want any trouble..."

but you couldn't help but feel the depth of his foolishness. hugging yourself, you recognized him for the fool he had become. the lorax shook his head, speaking softly, "and you won't get any trouble... not from them." the animals passed by, ignoring onceler's words. "thanks to you and your hackin' and smoggin' and gluppin', they can't live here anymore."

you watched in silence as the animals continued down the dirty path, their footsteps leading them to an uncertain future. "so, i'm sendin' em off," the lorax explained, his voice filled with a mixture of sorrow and hope. "hopefully, they'll be able to find a better place out there somewhere..."

your heart sank as you noticed melvin among the departing animals, eliciting a gasp from you. onceler also noticed and called out, "melvin?" he went after the grumpy, yet once beloved, mule, his voice filled with desperation. but melvin didn't look back, leaving onceler behind.

onceler's attention then shifted to pipsqueak, calling out to the little creature. pipsqueak turned back, his sad eyes meeting onceler's gaze. onceler pulled out a marshmallow, offering it as a token of their past friendship. "hey... pipsqueak..." he whispered, a faint smile playing on his lips. but pipsqueak's ears drooped, and he continued walking with the rest of his friends, leaving onceler behind in his remorse.

unceler turned his gaze back to you and the Lorax, his eyes filled with shame and regret. He slowly reached up and took off his hat. his gaze met the lorax's, their expressions mirroring one another in sadness and remorse. onceler tried to find the right words, but they eluded him, lost in the weight of his actions.

meanwhile, the lorax stood on a set of rocks nearby, his presence commanding and resolute. he closed his eyes, a gesture of resignation, and shook his head in disappointment. then, unexpectedly, he reached down and grabbed his butt, and a magical aura surrounded him as he began to ascend into the sky. a trail of sparkling dust followed his ascent, leaving you dumbfounded.

you and onceler stood there, watching in silence as the lorax disappeared into the vast expanse above, leaving behind a lingering sense of emptiness. now, only the two of you remained, surrounded by the echoes of lost opportunities and the consequences of unchecked greed. 

onceler's shoulders slumped, the weight of his mistakes pressing upon him. he turned to you, searching for answers in your eyes, but the words still failed him. the silence between you was heavy, filled with unspoken emotions and the longing for redemption.

onceler's voice trembled with vulnerability as he asked the question that hung in the air, "are you... gonna leave too?" his footsteps brought him closer to you, his towering figure casting a shadow over you. in response, you wrapped your arms around yourself, seeking comfort and protection.

"i don't know," you replied softly, uncertainty lacing your words. the weight of the world seemed to press upon your shoulders, and the decision felt too heavy to make at that moment. silence enveloped you both as you stood there, the weight of the world reflected in your shared silence.

but then, onceler reached out and took hold of your hands, his touch pleading and desperate. his voice barely above a whisper, he implored, "please... please... you're all I have. i don't want you to go."

as you gazed into his eyes, searching for a glimmer of sincerity, a flicker of hope, you found it. it was there, buried beneath layers of regret and remorse, but it was still alive—the boy you had first fallen in love with, the one who believed in something greater. a small smile formed on your lips as you reassured him, "i'm here."

his own smile mirrored yours, fragile yet filled with longing. "i wanna change... for us... for everything," he confessed, his voice filled with sadness. in that moment, you saw a glimmer of the boy he could become, the boy who could right his wrongs and strive for a better future. he pulled you gently into a hug, and you reciprocated, holding onto each other tightly.

"we'll do it together," you whispered.

[nouveauxamoris]

i think u should post more design hcs... if i may suggest the big three in the bitch brigade :3

IM SO ON IT! just like the last design hc post, i’ll add little rundowns of some of the design traits!

DAZAI

my dazai design has gone thru a LOT of phases, as well as just a bit of exploration… a few common and solidified traits about him however:

- dazai’s very tan, and his hair is VERY curly, bordering coily. in my hc he’s ethnically mixed :3 (japanese and bangladeshi!)

- soft but sharp face, big nose, and soft big eyes. thick eyebrows too! i based his colour scheme off the manga one, so, dark brown almost black hair instead of a lighter brown, and dark brown eyes instead of a chestnut brown.

- SNAKEBITE PIERCINGS! in me nd the lovely @fiftyofhearts ‘ hcs (hes the asker here hai ethan :3), he got them done w ranpo and yosano.

- he’s fat. okay. i said so. the silhouette of his big ass clothes (the trenchcoat specifically) makes him look a little smaller, but thats still very much true.

- he’s scruffy. goes through periods of shaving vs not shaving but generally has a little bit of wispy facial hair more often than not. also, he’s transmasc!!! he binds w bandages also its not good. don’t do what he does. i don’t encourage unsafe binding

- 14 to 16-zai was very hyperfem. i don’t think he had that realization that he was trans until a liiiil bit later. maybe around 17? very subtly transitioned. i dont think he outwardly came out to many people other than probably chuuya, oda, and ango. everyone else just caught on eventually. he definitely went solely by his last name to disassociate from his deadname and eventually chose the name “osamu” as his first later on

- prisonzai is FULL of facial hair! his hair has gotten a lil longer too. that’s due to the fact that i’d imagine honestly his hair grows Very fast. and they’re not gonna give him a razor to shave this is literally prison

- he’s a lesbian btw

SIGMA

somehow, the sigma design has stayed relatively linear.

- LATINA SIGMA REALNESS!!!!!!!!!! a little ethnically ambiguous canonically because she was made from a book. duh. but tbh i think shes argentinian

- tan skin, very cool undertone. soft and droopy eyes, SUPER thick eyebrows, and white eyelashes. very round face and big and wide arched nose. she has a bit of a pathetic and sopping wet look to her, but she still looks very kind and gentle. most of the time while she’s masking (usually while working), that kinda works in her favour. adds to the warm and inviting feeling she’s got goin on. however, her resting face is very sad and miserable.

- she’s tall and lanky, kinda skinny. very lean and relatively average build. her colour scheme and outfit design is adjacent to the way she’s drawn in the manga. i love her so much but i dont like the anime depiction of her outfit… sorry bbg. she’s perfect in every way however

- i think generally, she’s very androgynous. enjoys dressing very androgynously too. you know how in stormbringer lippmann is described as like, so androgynous to the point where if he dressed femininely men would go crazy ‘nd if he dressed masculinely women would go crazy?? yeah. she’s got something similar goin on. switches between dressing femininely and masculinely and very in-between often. always doing something cute.

- in my eyes she is so transfem. no sort of medical transition, tho… just socially. came out that page serving cunt and she’ll continue to the day she dies

- she wears press on nails me-thinks. usually black almonds or stilettos, sometimes she switches it up to purple however.

- hair cut is kinda weird but like ???? its like if u mixed a hime cut w a wolf cut basically. or smthn like that. lots of layers. yes that’s her natural hair colour btw, she’s just cute like that.

- she’s also a lesbian btw

JŌNO

i’m only rlly getting into drawing jōno recently.. so lots of things keep changing. however, i HAVE decided on something.

- jōno is very much so blasian. lightskinted…. hair is pretty wavy but rests pretty straight just cuz of the haircut. the red is dyed btw. she didn’t care much abt the colour, someone asked to fuck w her hair, and she begrudgingly told them to go crazy. everyone seems to like it however, so she’s down w it.

- SMILE LINES. SMILE LINES AND EYE WRINKLES. product of keeping her eyes closed literally all the time. and her stupid smug resting face. she’s also filled with freckles and beauty marks. majority of them are on her face, but she’s definitely got some around her body as well.

- jōno is Tall. around 5’11” ethan has decided. she’s got a very graceful build but she’s NOT small, nor thin. lots of muscle and fat collecting around her thighs and legs, her strongest asset when it comes to physical strength methinks. have you SEEN how violently she’s able to kick people??? cmon now.

- very elegant woman in every aspect Except personality. i love her she’s actually SUCH a bitch

- again. TRANSFEM! if i like a male character.. heh… well… let’s just say they’re no longer male. (unless you’re dazai. he’s boybossing it up every day)

- she’s ALSO a lesbian btw

- i don’t have a lot to say for her i just love her so much omg

[luna7822]

splatoon f^^base/splatoon society if beta!off the hook/pearlina was a thing instead of the off the hook/pearlina we know where there would be no such thing as the whole """"random overrated inkling idol besides pearl is just boring as all hell and yet somehow gets clout despite being pearl 2.0 in every boring and dumb way imaginable"""" thing and that there would be less degeneracy among the splatoon f^^base and more tolerable as well and that f^^^ would actually be more original if she was an octoling rather than boring lame af inkling and hell of a lot more tolerable than what her shitty canon counterpart will ever be since part of me wishes that stupid ass trend never existed at all even if i obv have no bias towards what we got with oth but still:

sometimes i feel like maybe the world wouldve been a better place if that stupid ass trend with certain idols besides pearl was never a thing in the first place and that beta!off the hook was a thing to which degeneracy in the awful splatoon f^^base will ceased to exist and that f^^^ would actually be a lot more tolerable if she was original/octoling too but unfortunately we live in s world where that boring ass trend is still a thing and that idiots want some random pearl knockoff dumbass to win finalfest with only 2 fucking wins on record as if its the most unfair shit ive ever seen when both marie and pearl won fair and square and that shiver and/or big man will forever have more of a chance in terms of wins than that stupid ass degenerate overrated ugly ass bitch will ever have in her sad pathetic life of nothing but being the most boring ass character imagineable and nothing more

and no im not saying i """hate""" inklings or anything its just that theyre kinda too overrated sometimes and that i wish that stupid ass trend with certain boring idols besides pearl was never a thing at all in the first place and that marina, shiver, and big man deserve better anyways with how much those idiots still continue to tteat them like shit unfortunately even when they did nothing wrong as well which really fucking sucks tbh ;-;

but even then i would love to draw beta!off the hook anyways since its very interesting to think like some au where octolings/octarians won great turf war and that ss but octoling in the form of beta!off the hook was a thing or smth along the lines of beta!pearl and marina being good friends when they used to be under octarian rule before calamari inkantation touched their souls and caused them to grow closer than ever before to the point where they decided to start their own cephalopod yuri idol group and end up becoming more popular than ss with all of their wonderful songs/splatfeste despite the public viewing them both as """weird inklings""" until octo expansion where they try to not spill anything abt their true identities by trying to play it cool during the octoling fashion segment iirc before u play fhe dlc and once u were done beating it as 8 then they would no longer have to treat it as a secret now that inklings and octolings are starting to get along again and after finalfest happens then i think pretty much everything after that would stay the same as it is in splatoon 3 with chaos winning and all that (and deep cut having a better looking f^^^ at least) or rather because of beta!off the hook having a different reception compared to what ours was order pretty much wins instead since nobody would treat marina like shit and that interesting things happen as a result which would require me doing some thinking abt order winning finalfest in a sort of beta!oth au thing but thats basically my whole thought process abt beta!oth in general since in all honesty its just really interesting seeing beta!oth/pearlina and whatnot even if i obv still love our pearlina anyways no matter what as an oth fan but still

oh and i would also imagine maybe tweaking beta!pearks outfit a little just to make it look more unique without looking too much like her canon counterpart and maybe tweaking marinas a lil too since its an au and all that without any major changes since shes fine as she is anyways but still

[sussysatann]

✨ HEY SO I FINALLY FINISHED BOOK 5 ✨

DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY BOOK 5 FIC RECOMMENDATIONS??

LIKE STORIES ABOUT THE GROUP LIVING IN RAMSHACKLE FOR THE SDC AND COMFORTING THEM AFTER THE SHOW (vil especially rook i will throw you into the outer stratosphere why did you have to do that man)

I WANT TO GIVE THEM ALL A HUG rook a little less im slightly sorry

-specific book 5 spoilers under the cut that kinda turns into a slight rant??-

OH AND BONUS POINTS IF THERE'S ANY FICS WITH HORNTON -DURING THE MALLEUS REVEAL OR WATCHING THE SDC SHOW

OH AND ALSO ANYTHING ABOUT THE ACTUAL OVERBLOT ITSELF WOULD BE FANTASTIC BOTH THE ACTUAL FIGHT AND THE AFTERMATH VIL GOT PRETTY BADLY INJURED AND ALSO NEARLY KILLED US WITH THE POISON GAS??? hear me out i'm just saying there's a LOT of whump, angst, sickfic, hurt/comfort fic potential there

OH AND ALSO HIS SIGNATURE SPELL. THE MAN LITERALLY CURSED FOOD TO IMMOBILSE SOMEONE FOR A CERTAIN PERIOD OF TIME IF THEY ATE IT. THAT'S SCARY AS SHIT I'm gonna double check the dialogue but I swear he wasn't as bothered if we ate the treats with exceptions such as not having it around the group but like?? If Yuu was the only one there and geniunely wanted a midnight snack then suddenly BOOM CURSED That's REALLY scary to think about imo

But I'm a little sad that there wasn't really anything after the SDC? Besides that quick conversation between the headmages, it just cut straight back to Ramshackle. I was kinda hoping there would be at least a quick scene of Yuu meeting up with them after the show being like "Hey, the results fucking suck, but you were all amazing out there. You guys worked so damn hard for this and did your very best and I think that's that's something to celebrate." I personally think the way they ended it it was weirdly abrupt? Like we know everyone goes back to their own dorms and the SDC is over, but for me it feels like we didn't get that closure somehow?? I think it's because the actual build up the the SDC was WAYY longer than the competition itself so by the time it rolled around, it came and went really quick.

OH AND

JUST IN CASE YOU DON'T KNOW

THEY CUT OUT NEIGE'S SONG FOR THE EN SEVER.

YES. YOU READ THAT RIGHT.

NEIGE HAD HIS OWN TWISTUNES NUMBER.

AND THERE WAS ALSO A WHOLE SCENE,

WITH THE NRC BOYS DANCING AND SINGING THE SONG WITH HIM.

WE WERE FUCKING ROBBED

This video by Songstress Studios shows the comparisons really well!

Another reason why I think it felt so abrupt is because, if I remember right, didn't Vil say it was a 2 day event? The SDC was on day 1 but the actual faire was two days long?? I remember him saying to Ace something among the lines of 'we're putting all our focus on the competition today but you can look around the stalls tomorrow'. I can't remember exactly, but I highly doubt the culture fair will continue into book 6. Though... I'm gonna go back and double check that dialogue becase now I'm wondering if it might do after thinking about the ending?? 👀

(We were literally attacked in the Colluseum WHERE THE SDC TOOK PLACE. THE STAGE IS STILL THERE)

[jennilah]

personal rambling in public again

hey how ya doin

just kinda thinkin bout stuff and my year so far

i made a promise to fill this year with just as much events and exciting things as last year and I am making well on that so far, just not really in the way i expected!

i swear i came back from my easter vacation different

i came back from vacation to find out that many of my friends and coworkers were laid off (public news, i wont be getting into detail) and that really bummed me tf out. that was the start of my vibes being thrown off. theres been a kind of aura of sadness in the office ever since, to me at least.

my parents also very suddenly decided to sell the house, the one i grew up in. something thats bittersweet, but generally just another big change that was making me feel weird

then my rebellious phase really began

first, became a true stoner, and got my first tattoo. which quickly became planning my second tattoo (booked next month!)

yes, theres been many jokes about me entering my true form as an artist with the weed and the body art and all

and then, the biggest of all, i decided to say goodbye to my current studio and sign a contract with a new one.

this is the first time im leaving a studio by my own volition and not because i myself was laid off. (its a rough industry lol) its definitely different. a lot more emotional. my current studio is a place ive called home for many years and I really had an amazing time there, and ive made so many best friends and connections there. (its the first studio i worked for! after my brief stints at other studios i managed to end up right back where i started after a company merge lmfao)

i think i was non stop crying for five days straight last week, in utter turmoil deciding if i should stay at my current studio where im highly regarded and my job is as secure as possible (bc of how unstable the industry is right now with the writers strike) and i work with people i adore, or explore whats out there and try something new, but risky.

i ultimately decided to take the risk, expand my brain and see how another studio operates and make new connections and friends. if something happens and im the first to arrive, first to get cut- then so be it. ill make that mistake, then.

once i made the decision i have only felt more and more confident every day in that choice, and excited to start something new. i realize this was probably the exact last change ive been needing. everything else around me was suddenly changing and throwing me off, now i get to be in the driver's seat for a bit. just go all in and really enter a new chapter in my life, as corny as it sounds

anyway next thursday will be a very tearful goodbye again, i think. handing in my resignation i was a MESS. but im also excited! They dont do as many films, but they do a lot of really interesting shows on streaming. and i get to FINALLY call myself a SENIOR ANIMATOR. i already was one, but that studio had their own unique title system, and so it was never really clear to other people in the industry wtf level I am, esp with my very small amount of years of experience. I am officially a Senior Animator. feels nice.

and i also get to have a nice month-long vacation between jobs ^^ gonna take full advantage of relaxation and having free time. gonna even be able to visit my parents this summer, something i didnt think id have time to do. (and see that new house!!) (AND do the convention! and Art Fight! and get my second tattoo! and get back into that slasher-watching and TOTK-playing!)

this was longer than i planned imma go eat wendy's