#well. i hope you enjoy <3 there is no plot or organization of any kind. solely vibes made up of cookies and snow and pine and pining (hehe)

[pancakehouse]

moonlight sonata

an r/s christmas fic

On the way to Lupin Family Christmas, Sirius and Remus break up. What follows is several days of heartbreak, longing, and two boys trying to figure out where it all went wrong.

read on ao3!

[she-is-juniper]

Only Ones Who Know — an Elvis Presley x Reader slow burn series (chapter three)

Pairing: Austin Butler!Elvis Presley x f!Reader Type: series (chapter 3 / ?) ~ chapter one ~ chapter two ~ Warnings: so much fluff, a considerable amount of angst, pining, long lost lovers, slow burn, implied childhood/family trauma (vague), some cursing Prompt: You and Elvis grew up together; he was your best friend and first love, but he and his family moved away. Eight years later, Elvis walks into the diner where you work…and he doesn’t recognize you. But there’s an intense connection between the two of you. Should you let things between you play out organically, or should you tell him who you really are? Word Count (by chapter): 7K Rating (by chapter): M (mature) A/N: This chapter was so special for me to write. It's fluffy and angsty but I hope it makes you feel nostalgic and hopeful the way it felt for me when I wrote it. There are some brief allusions to implied childhood/family trauma, but I left it vague. Also, before y’all chew me out for writing this as a reader insert and not as an OC… I know, I know!! But I made the details ambiguous enough that most readers could suspend their imaginations enough to fill in the blanks for your own preferences. So I suppose you could read this as an OC or as a reader insert—either way, I sincerely hope you enjoy it!! I don’t claim that this is historically accurate or factual but simply inspired by the historical context! The events of this series are kind of a combination of real life events from Elvis’ life and the events of the film; thus, it may not follow the outline of events exactly as they appear the film. Inspiration for the plot more closely but loosely resembles real life documentations of Elvis’ life in 1956. Please note that I do not claim that this is historically accurate or factual but simply inspired by the historical context. Please for the love of all that is holy, comment/reblog/send asks if you want to see more of my writing—thank you in advance! ♡, Juni

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The first thing I had done after I had gotten home from Beale Street was cry over Elvis Presley.

I went to my bedroom, closed the door, threw my bag and clothes on the floor, curled up in a ball on my bed, and cried. Maybe I was just being too sensitive. Or maybe it was the early morning hour that sparked my sudden despair. But I cried until my eyes ran dry of tears and I was simply too exhausted to keep them open any longer.

That night, in my dreams, I was a child again.

I was climbing a tree, the rickety oak tree in the small backyard of my childhood home. As I climbed, the sky above me became dark and angry. It began to rain, and the wind began to howl, and I knew I needed to climb down to return inside. But as I looked down from my perch on the tree, I realized I had climbed much further than I thought, and there was no way back down.

Someone was calling my name. It was Elvis’s voice. He was inside my parents’ house, peering out the window, shouting my name over and over again…

“Y/N…Y/N!”

I squeezed my eyes shut.

“Y/N! Wake up!”

Reality crashed back as I stirred from my slumber. My roommate, Margaret, was standing over me and tapping my shoulder.

“Someone’s on the line for you,” she was saying.

“Huh?”

“Phone call, for you. She’s already rung three times.”

I heaved myself upright and gripped my throbbing temple. “Who?”

“Someone from your restaurant, I think?” Margaret was already dressed for work herself, in her starched white nurse’s dress. “Were you supposed to go in for work this morning?”

“No, my shift starts at twelve.” Rubbing my eyes, I glanced at the clock on my nightstand; it was only 10:45.

“Well, whoever it is, she’s gabbing so much I can scarcely understand her. She's still on the line, I left the phone off the hook for you.” Margaret gathered herself and headed out the door, but not before glancing at the pile of last night’s clothes I’d thrown on the floor. “...Ginny and I were wondering where you went last night?”

I searched for an oversized sweater in my dresser and threw it over my torso. “Beale Street,” I mumbled.

Margaret feigned a look of disapproval, but I could see the glint of intrigue in her eyes. “Were you being safe?”

“I was there with someone, don’t worry.”

"Someone?" She led the way into the living room, grabbing her purse and nurse’s cap. “A man?”

“I’ll tell you later.”

I waved goodbye to Margaret as she departed the apartment for work, and I went to pick up the telephone handset she’d left off the hook on the counter. “Hello, this is Y/N—”

“Y/N! Oh my god, you finally picked up.” It was Lila Mae, undoubtedly, my coworker at the diner. And sure enough, she was talking a mile a minute. “I’ve been callin’ you all morning! Have you heard? Do you know what’s happenin’ here right now? You gotta get to the diner right now! I can’t believe—”

“Slow down, Lila Mae— slow down. What’s going on?” I interrupted her.

“Elvis Presley is what’s going on! Why for the love of all that is holy did you never tell me that you knew him?! Oh my god. Oh my lord. I feel faint—”

“What do you mean?” Elvis…Is he…?

“He’s here! Outside the diner! He’s been waitin’ for you here all morning!”

“Elvis is at the diner again?”

Lila Mae gasped. “'Again'? You mean to tell me he’s been here before? Why didn’t I know?! Oh my god. Elvis Presley’s here—”

“Lila Mae— Lila Mae. What do you mean, he’s been waiting for me?”

“He came in ‘round 10 o’clock. I just about fainted at the sight, he’s such a dreamboat—he’s even more dreamy in person. And he was describin’ you, askin’ when you’d be here. I didn’t know what to do, it’s like my tongue stopped workin’, it was real humiliating. But I finally told him you was comin’ in for your shift ‘round noon, and I offered him a table to sit at, but he just said thank you and went back outside to his car. And he’s been there ever since. I reckon he’s waitin’ for you to show up! Did ya know he drives a yellow Cadillac convertible, with red upholstery? He—”

“Okay— okay— I’m on my way,” I said before hanging up. I was still worn slap out from my restless night, and I wasn’t thinking very clearly, but I mentally cursed Elvis for showing up to my place of employment—again. Why couldn’t he just spare me the misery, go on with his life, and let me go on with mine? It was clear that I didn’t belong in his life anymore, and he didn’t belong in mine—regardless of our past.

I quickly got dressed in a pair of trousers, a casual summer blouse, and a chiffon scarf I tied around my neck, and I grabbed my wrinkled waitressing uniform too, since I was due to work at noon. I usually took a bus to work, and today, of all days, it was running late. By the time I arrived at the diner, it was nearly 11:30.

There was a commotion of cars and people by the entrance. A haphazard crowd was formed around the same shiny Cadillac I’d seen park along Beale Street last night—Elvis’s car. As I approached, I saw girls and boys alike clutching albums and other merchandise, eagerly waiting their turn.

And there he was, sitting in the driver’s seat of his convertible surrounded by the crowd of fans. He looked impeccable and unmistakable, wearing a white button-down with the sleeves carefully cuffed, his hair meticulously slicked back as usual. He was smiling graciously to a doting fan, who was all but tossing her skirts onto him.

No—actually tossing her skirts into his car.

“You want me to sign your...petticoat?” he was asking.

“Yes, please, Mr. Presley,” the girl gushed, shoving a pen at him. He chuckled and took off the cap.

“Well, as long as they don’t get angry at you none for havin’ me ruin your pretty skirt,” he said, signing the fabric.

“Elvis,” I called out to him over the small crowd as I approached.

He glanced up. And he smiled like he was a kid and I was his Christmas morning present. Pure unbridled joy. It was ten times more intense than the way he'd looked at me last night when he saw me on Beale Street.

“Was wonderin’ when you’d show up,” he called back. 

I held my hand up to block the sun as I frowned at him. Seeing him again after last night's escapade brought a rush of feelings, a strange mixture of thrill and anxiety.  “What are you doing here?” I demanded.

“Well, I came to find you,” he said simply, and then he addressed his flock of fans. “Excuse me, will y’all let the pretty lady through?”

The crowd eyed me as they parted to let me through to his vehicle. I didn’t move, though, just stared at him from across the parking lot.

“Hop on in,” he invited me, patting his passenger seat.

“...Why?”

“Figured we’d go for a ride, y’know, talk.”

I glanced furtively at the whispering crowd, feeling warm at the cheeks. But I crossed through them to stand beside his car and spoke lowly. “Elvis, you shouldn’t have come here.”

“Well, I had to,” he replied, matching my lowered speaking volume, and the corner of his lips turned up. “You didn’t leave me with no name, no phone number, no address. But I remembered you worked here, so… I came to see you.”

Something about his casual tone of voice was…off. It was strange. Like he was putting on a guise of some sort. But I couldn’t pinpoint it.

“You shouldn’t have,” I said curtly. “You should go home.”

He leaned over to pop the passenger door open, indicating for me to sit. “Not until we talk,” he said.

“I have to go to work,” I retorted.

He gave a dismissive wave of his hand. “You can skip just for today, can't you?”

I glared. “This is my job. I can’t just play hooky like some schoolgirl. I have to pay rent.” Not all of us are blessed with heaps of money.

“I’m sure your friend in there wouldn’t mind covering for you for the day,” he mused. “Why don’t you go and ask her? Tell her I’ll sign any merchandise she wants when we get back.”

I stared at him, trying to make sense of my racing thoughts. He smiled at me.

“Please,” he added, and his smile faltered just a bit, revealing the earnestness in his blue eyes. He dropped his voice even lower, ensuring that none of the onlookers would be able to hear. “After how we left things last night…I’d just really, really love to talk, is all.” He eyed his slew of fans. “Alone, ideally.”

I chewed the inside of my cheek. Could I really blame him for wanting to talk after what happened last night? I had left so abruptly from the club with seemingly no explanation. I could only imagine what he was feeling.

Growing up, Elvis was always inquisitive, sensitive, considerate. He’d always hated conflict, always wanted to make sure he listened to and understood others, always quick to apologize. So after yesterday, I wouldn’t be surprised if he thought he had done something awfully wrong to offend me. Which, even though he didn’t recognize me, his childhood best friend, despite everything… He really hadn’t done anything wrong last night. 

I owed him the opportunity to get closure.

“Let me go talk to Lila Mae,” I said.

He smiled in relief.

Inside the diner, Lila Mae was a hurricane of excitement. “Y/N,” she gasped as she saw me. She ran up to me with huge eyes and gripped my arms. “Spill everything, now. How do you know Elvis Presley? Did he ask for your number? What's he doing here?”

“He—he wants to take me on a drive,” I said.

“When?!”

“Uh…Today. Right now.”

She digs her fingernails into my arms even harder. “Oh my god. You don’t know how lucky you are. What’s he smell like?”

“Lila Mae—will you cover my shift for me today?” I pleaded. “He said he’ll sign any of your merch. And I’ll owe you the next time you want off.”

She nodded so quickly I thought her head might fall off her neck. “Go on your date, girl!! And then I wanna know everything, you hear me?”

I thanked her profusely and ran back outside to hop in Elvis’s passenger seat. He grinned and waved goodbye to the fans before he backed his Cadillac out of the parking spot. He braced his hand on the back of my seat to look behind him, and his close proximity to my skin was intoxicating. 

We didn’t say anything at first as he drove. The warm July air washed over my skin and through my hair. I untied the chiffon scarf around my neck and wrapped it over my hair to protect it from the wind as he drove. I noticed him glancing over at me, but every time I glanced back, he was conveniently looking straight ahead at the road. The way he looked, with his right hand gripping the top of the steering wheel and his left resting casually against the car window frame, brought an ache to my chest.

When he got on the 51, though, and started driving south, I finally spoke up. “So where is it you taking me, exactly?”

His white teeth glimmered with sunshine. “I’m gonna show you a place.”

“ ‘A place?’ ”

“You’ll see.” 

We were quiet again, but it was a comfortable silence. Although…he was humming something, I realized. I could just barely hear it over the sound of the wind and the road. The tune, from what I could make out of it, was somewhat familiar. I wanted to ask him what. But I didn’t say anything. 

The sprawl of urban infrastructure became more and more sparse, gradually becoming replaced with pastoral fields and forests. Finally, he turned off the highway into a narrow road, driving all the way up a circular driveway that surrounded a knoll of grass and trees. 

I gaped up at the building we’d stopped next to. It was a massive mansion, and it was absolutely gorgeous. A series of white, southern colonial-style pillars towered at its front like sentinels, beckoning the eye up the stairs and to the grand front door. Two stories tall and with more shuttered windows than I could immediately count, the mansion was a formidably elegant sight.

“It’s beautiful,” I murmured.

“Ain’t it?” Elvis affirmed. “It’s called Graceland.” He looked back and forth between me and the mansion, grinning. “I’m gonna purchase it one day.”

“The mansion?” I gaped.

“The whole estate. I came across it a few months ago on the way to a show in Jackson. It’s not up for sale yet or nothin’. But the minute it is…I’m gonna buy it, for my mama and daddy.” 

He put his convertible in park, then, and opened the door to step out. I gawked as he stepped up the steps leading up to the front door as if he already owned the place. “Elvis, what are you doing? Isn’t this private property—”

“Relax,” he interrupted, laughing. “It’s vacant.”

I noticed, then, the lack of vehicles or other evidence of inhabitants surrounding the building, and decided to join him. The massive front door was bookended by two tall windows decorated with wrought iron. He put his hands up to the glass to peer through one of them, and I peered in next to him. There was a beautiful staircase right by the front foyer, and two beautiful archways leading to rooms to the left and right. It was empty, devoid of furniture, but full of potential.

“Folks are starting to recognize me coming in and out of my parents’ house east of town,” he elaborated, “but I’m worried they’re all gonna start harassing the neighbors. I’m thinking we’re gonna need to move again soon. So I’m keeping my eye out for this place.”

I recalled the Presleys’ tiny shotgun house from the days of our youth. To think they’d one day be living in a grand estate such as this was surreal. But, then again, so was the notion that I would run into Elvis again after all these years, in the diner where I worked of all places

“I got a good feelin’ about it,” he went on. “It’s kinda silly, but…it calls to me, this place. It’s the name, I think. Graceland. Like you can feel the grace of God here, in the walls, in the fields around it.”

I hadn’t heard him say anything overtly spiritual before, but I was reminded of the way he’d tilted his head to the sky in prayer just before his performance at the benefit concert.

“It’s not silly at all,” I reassured him. I understood completely what he meant; there was a reverent sort of quality here, something that felt powerful and bigger than life. I touched the wooden window frame. "I feel it, too."

He held my gaze for a long while, and my heart fluttered so loudly I swore he’d be able to hear it over the rustle of the trees in the wind, like the whir of a hummingbird’s wings. It was impossible to tell what he was thinking. I wondered if he felt the same about me.

“Elvis,” I said quietly.

His lips parted ever so slightly, but he said nothing. Just waited.

“I’m sorry I left so quickly last night,” I went on. “I know it wasn’t fair to you. But it’s nothing you did. It’s just—”

He grabbed my arm, effectively ending my apology mid-sentence. “You don’t have nothin’ to apologize for,” he said earnestly. “I understand completely why you left.”

You don’t, I thought. “Please, let me explain—”

 “No hard feelings. Besides, I’m the one who should apologize.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Well… I could’ve done some things better.”

I frowned. But he didn’t elaborate. His hand, still on my arm, slid down to my hand, which he held lightly in his own. I felt corny for having the thought that his eyes were the same color as the sky today.

“How come you showed me here, Elvis?” I asked quietly.

He bit his bottom lip as if he were trying not to smile. “Just a pit stop along the way. We’re not quite at our final stop yet. We gotta keep driving a bit.”

I quirked an eyebrow. “We’re going somewhere else?”

“Trust me, darlin’.”

He squeezed my hand and led me back down the steps to his car. He came around to open my door for me before getting in the driver’s seat and departing from the mansion estate. And then it was quiet between us again on the road. 

I usually wouldn’t have minded the lack of conversation—or a good old-fashioned surprise—but my mind was spinning, and I needed answers. I wanted to know why he’d come back, what he’d been meaning to talk about, why he’d decided to come find me again. I wasn't in the mood for this sort of anticipation today.

“Elvis, I don’t understand why you’re taking me halfway to Mississippi just to talk.”

Just as I’d said it, we drove past a sign signaling that the Mississippi state border was a mile ahead. I made a strained noise and gestured to the sign to emphasize my point; he just chuckled, unbothered.

“You’ll see,” he said simply.

As curious as I was to see where we were going, my annoyance flared. “So, what, you couldn’t just spit it out back there at the mansion?"

He said nothing, just smiled to himself as he watched the road.

"Elvis," I prompted again. "We really have to drive out to the boonies to have a simple conversation?”

“Do ya want me to turn around, woman?” he asked, amusedly.

I huffed in irritation. “It depends on how much further we’re going.”

He didn’t even try to hide his smirk. “Don’t worry, it’s just a few more miles. I promise.” He saw the way I was glaring at him and added, “Do you need to get back to town for something?”

“No,” I griped.

“Then it sounds like you’re all mine today,” he said definitively.

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms. He snickered at me.

“Y’know, you’re real cute when you’re grumpy.”

“I’m not grumpy,” I said.

“You are.”

I worked hard to force myself to ignore his attempt at flirting. “I just thought when you said you’d take me on a drive to talk, that we’d actually, y’know, talk.”

“We are talking,” he replied. 

“About last night,” I said petulantly. “About… us.”

“We will talk about that—in ‘bout seven miles or so,” he said.

Seven? “Why not right now?” I pushed. “Can’t you tell me why you came all the way back to the diner to see me?”

“I will,” he laughed. “Besides, ain’t it obvious why I came to see you?”

I gawked. “No! I thought you just wanted closure!” I exclaimed.

Elvis raised his dark brows. “Closure?”

“About why I left last night.”

“I told you, you don’t have to explain anything,” he said. “And I don’t need no closure with you.”

"We weren't meant to see each other again," I groaned.

"What? Why?"

"Because this isn't going to work," I said and gestured between us. "You should have just let me go."

"Well, that's not what you said when you left," Elvis replied calmly. "You just said you had to go." His smile grew. "Did you really never want to see me again?"

I bit back my initial response and considered. "No," I finally admitted.

"That's what I thought," he said smugly.

As we passed the state border into Mississippi, I simmered. Something just wasn’t adding up. Why was he being so easygoing, nonchalant about everything? Moreover, I was beginning to become very nervous about what was happening—and my nerves were further fodder for my irrational anger.

“Don’t you understand how unfair this is?” I snapped. “You come into my life out of the blue not twenty four hours ago, and you uproot me from my work, and now you’re expecting me to just let you take me into the middle of nowhere like some murderer?”

He somehow seemed even more amused. “You think I’m driving you out here to kill you, dear, is that what it is?”

“No,” I huffed.

“You really have such little trust in me?” he laughed.

“I barely know you,” I retorted. Which was, of course, half true. I knew who he used to be. But for all intents and purposes, we were virtually strangers.

He gave me a level look that was indecipherable. 

“I’ll turn around right now,” he offered.

I was silent.

“I mean it,” he said, braking the car ever so slightly. “You say the word, and I’ll take you back. No questions asked.”

My heart pounded. He kept braking, kept staring. Cars passed us in the left lane.

“What’ll it be?” he pressed.

I said nothing. He braked until we were at a snail's pace and he put his blinker on, preparing to make a U-turn and head back north.

“Don’t stop,” I whispered at last.

He smiled triumphantly and accelerated again.

Over time, my temper faded, leaving only a steady anticipatory anxiety. But I had to admit, the drive was beautiful. The summer sky was as endless as the the dense woods that bordered either side of the road. Despite the heat, the air that rushed over us in the convertible felt almost cool on my skin. I tried to focus on that sensation instead of the feeling of trepidation about where he might be taking me. 

A few moments later, though, Elvis seemed to decide he was through with the silent treatment. “Tell me ‘bout what you’re studying at the women’s college,” he said.

I told him. My response set him off with a dozen new questions about myself, my life in Memphis, my summer job, my roommates, my aspirations. I answered them honestly. It felt a bit bizarre to resort to small talk after our prior conversation, but I figured if he didn’t want to talk about the important stuff, then I’d humor him for the rest of the drive. Besides, it beat driving in silence—and it admittedly felt good knowing how much he cared to know about me. He was attentive and engaging, and perfectly polite. My heart began to soften from the intensity of my earlier emotions.

After he seemed satisfied at the answer to his question about my favorite film, I asked him a question of my own. “What happened after the concert last night?” 

Elvis tilted his head. “What d’ya mean?”

“I just meant, you seemed a bit...upset, about the performance when I saw you later at Club Handy. Did something go wrong?”

“Oh,” he frowned. “I…wasn’t supposed to, y'know, move around like that on stage again. Y’know, with the New Elvis and all. The Colonel just about flipped his lid when he saw me after.” 

“So you broke the rules?” I realized.

He nodded, unsmiling. 

“Well, so what?” I remarked. “You can’t make everyone happy. You gotta stay true to yourself, and all, right?”

“It ain’t that easy,” he sighed, tightening his grip on the wheel. “Colonel told me there’s gonna be consequences. Some people seemed real mad about the performance.”

“What about all the people who loved it?” I pointed out. “I saw your fans out there, Elvis. Those are the ones that matter the most, aren’t they?”

Elvis smiled just a bit. “You’re right,” he said, “as usual.” 

“As usual?”

“Well, sure,” he said. “Remember what you told me yesterday? About listenin’ to my heart?”

I recalled the moment, back at the diner when I’d first seen him again, and nodded.

“That whole day, I hadn’t been so sure what I was fixin' to do do at Russwood. I knew I didn’t want any trouble with the Colonel, or with any of the folks who were making a ruckus about the way I sing or move. But after that godforsaken performance on Steve Allen…” He sighed and gritted his teeth. “If I can’t move, I can’t sing.”

Then, he looked over at me. “And the next thing I knew, the prettiest waitress in the world was waltzin’ up to me,” he said with a wink, “and reminded me that I should listen to my heart. And so I did. So I guess what I’m tryin’ to say is…thank you.”

I felt warm to the cheeks, but I didn’t say anything in response. I was vaguely aware of a knot that had formed in my stomach, which was less in response to his blatant compliment and rather felt more like a warning signal that something was wrong.

Before I could pinpoint it, Elvis finally pulled off the highway and onto an intersecting road, where a small sign indicated it was a local park. A small clearing extended beyond the gravel road, beyond which I could barely see an old wooden bridge. 

It was a relatively unassuming park. Certainly not as grand or romantic as many of the local nature parks closer to Memphis. So why exactly Elvis had decided to drive half an hour and across the state border to this particular park, I had not a clue.

But that wasn’t the cause for the warning signals going off in my mind. The cause, I realized, was the realization that Elvis hadn’t once used the name Missy to refer to me today.

Before I could make sense of it, Elvis put the car in park and came around to the passenger side to open my door. He took my hand in his as I got out, saying, “Come with me, I’d like you to see this.” 

I followed his lead in a daze and untied the scarf from my head, tying it around my neck again to combat the sheen of sweat that had developed on my skin from the summer heat. We walked across the gravel road and over to the small trail that had been stamped out in the grassy clearing. Around us, cicadas whirred and the air smelled of pine and sunshine. The trail led us to the wooden bridge—which was battered and moss-covered, yet sturdy-looking. Still holding my hand, Elvis glanced down at me with a smile before he stepped onto the bridge.

We walked to the middle of it, where it was cool and shady under the huge oak trees. Frankly, the sight of the small creek below wasn’t particularly spectacular. Confused, I frowned up at Elvis and searched his eyes for answers. But they gave me none. He gazed down at me, a thousand unspoken words on his expression. And he guided my hand up to the bridge’s guardrail, pressing my fingers into the wood.

Beneath his hand, my fingertips brushed over a series of small ridges. Etchings in the wood.

I pulled my hand back to study it. Carved into the wood, clear as day, were two names, separated by a small symbol.

Elvis ♡ Y/N.

Time stopped.

The world around me blurred. No more trees around us, no more creek below us, no more bridge under our feet. Just the carving in the wood, there beside my hand, glowing up at me like a beacon. 

Elvis’s name. My name. The heart. The slight wear to the carving…as if it had been carved many years ago.

A voice, Elvis’s voice, came through to my consciousness. “Y/N,” he said.

My name. He spoke my name.

Slowly, my mouth agape in astonishment, I inched my gaze to Elvis. I watched as his lips parted again to speak my name. He spoke it like it the passcode into Heaven itself.

“Y/N.”

“Elvis,” I said back, my voice cracking.

I still didn’t understand. Didn’t understand why we were here, what the carving meant, what he’d wanted to say. But nothing else seemed to matter, except that he was saying my name, my real name.

“You recognize me,” I whispered as tears welled in my eyes.

Elvis just nodded. Something in his expression, the way his eyebrows pulled down like he was about to cry himself, it drew me in. I fell into his arms like I was a compass needle and he was my north.

“It’s okay, Y/N, honey,” he murmured into my hair as his arms wrapped around me. “I got you.”

And I started sobbing.

He held me like he would never leave again. 

“I don’t understand,” I choked out in between gasps for air. “When…?”

“This morning,” he revealed, his voice just a low rumble against the side of my head. “I came into your diner to try to find you, but I didn’t know your name, so I got to describing you. And your waitress friend said your name. And that’s when I realized. God, Y/N… I’m so goddamn stupid. I should have realized from the start who you were.”

“No shit,” I laughed a little, sniffling. “I can’t believe you didn’t recognize me right away.” I couldn’t hide the hurt from my voice, but it was mild—I was mostly just relieved.

Elvis pulled me away just enough so he could see my face. He studied it with a wistful smile and wiped my tears off my cheeks with his thumbs.

“Look at you, you’ve changed so much,” he remarked. “I didn’t recognize you.”

“I grew up,” I said. 

He nodded. “You’re a whole woman now.”

“Yeah, well, that happens to a lot of girls when we get to be thirteen or so,” I replied with a sniff. 

He laughed and then brushed his fingers across my cheek again. “But now that I know… I still see the same Y/N in those eyes.”

I gazed up at him until I remembered the wooden railing. “What is this?” I asked, touching the carving in the wood again. “When did you do this?”

“September ’48,” he replied. “The day we moved from Tupelo to Memphis. We stopped in this here park on the way to let Mama stretch her legs for a bit…and I wandered onto the bridge. I had a pocket knife, a gift from my Daddy, and I used that to carve it.” He stared down at the names in the wood with a slight pinkness to his cheeks. “I…couldn’t stop thinking about you that day, Y/N. Your face when I told you that you couldn’t come with us…I couldn’t get it outta my head. I felt terrible.”

I blinked up at him, speechless. The way he spoke of that year brought up memories I hadn’t thought of in a long time. Some good…some bad, really bad. I felt the familiar chill of anxiety settle at the pit of my stomach. 

This was the feeling I was trying to forget, the feeling I’d been running from for eight years. And as far as the last thing I had said to him in September ‘48–in which I had professed my love to him in a last ditch effort to have him take me with him—I regretted it deeply. Partially out of humiliation. Partially out of guilt for ever making him feel guilty about the circumstances, which had been completely out of his control. But it was more than just the humiliation and guilt. 

“It was a long time ago,” I said dismissively. I didn’t like to think about my thirteen-year-old self. 

“It was,” Elvis agreed. “But that don’t change the fact that I could’ve been nicer to you that day. It’s just…I was just a dumb kid, and we were moving, and I didn’t want to, and I didn’t know how to handle it. I wish things could’ve been different.”

“Don’t say that. If your parents had never moved to Memphis, you wouldn’t be who you are today.”

Elvis Presley. The King of Rock and Roll. Someone whose life I didn’t belong in anymore. 

He gave a melancholy half-smile. “I know, I know… But I hated myself for breaking your heart.”

My stomach twisted. “I got over it,” I said. 

His expression was unreadable. “I thought about you all the time. And I wrote you letters, but they all—”

“You what??” I exclaimed. 

“I told you, darlin’, I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” he emphasized—and his eyes captured mine. “And about what you said to me before I left.”

I mentally cringed. 

“So I wrote you letters—probably a dozen. But they all returned to sender.”

“We moved across town a month after your family left,” I explained. 

He made a noise of understanding. “No wonder…” And then he smiled to himself. “I thought I’d never, ever be lucky enough to see you again. But here you are.”

He pulled me into him again, enveloping me with his arms, and my anxious thoughts became scattered into a thousand pieces once again. He stroked my head gently, and I clutched at his shirt.

“Y/N,” he murmured. I felt him kiss my head. “I missed you, so much. And I loved you, too. I…”

He trailed off. I knew what he was about to say, and my body stiffened, which must have indicated to him that I wasn’t ready to hear it. 

And I surely wasn’t. Frankly, I was trying not to collapse with how overwhelmed I was. 

“You don’t know me anymore, Elvis,” I whispered. “I’m not the same girl anymore. We’re both different. We don’t know each other anymore.” 

“I’d like to try and change that,” he said, rubbing my upper back as he continued to hold me close. 

My heart jolted. “You shouldn’t.”

“Why not?”

I thought about all the times I passed by the shops in Memphis and saw his face on the television screens. I thought about the way every girl had screamed and reached out for him on the stage last night. I thought about the months and months he must spend on the road, touring. I tried to imagine myself inserted into his life, and I couldn’t. 

“I just don’t belong in your life anymore,” I said. 

He didn’t say anything for a while. He just held me, and the leaves rustled and the cicadas hummed around us like a symphony. But when he finally pulled away, his frowning expression seemed…angry. 

Not angry. Determined. 

“No,” he said. “Now, excuse my language, darlin’, but that’s a load of bullshit.”

I sighed. “Have you not seen yourself? You’re Elvis Presley. ” 

“That doesn’t mean a damn thing,” he said. “Have you not seen yourself?”

His stubbornness fueled my frustration. “What?” I snapped. “A twenty-one year old unmarried girl who works at a diner and still barely scrapes by with enough for rent?”

He wasn’t phased. “You don’t see yourself very clearly,” he said definitively. “You’re more than that.”

“But you don’t know me at all,” I argued. 

He took my hands. “And I wanna try to change that. I wanna get to know you again.”

As his words sunk in, they left one very big question. “But aren’t you leaving for another tour again?” 

“I’m here in Memphis for a whole month, taking care of business, and my Mama and my old man.” He squeezed my hands in his. “I want the chance to get to know you again, Y/N,” he said again. 

And with eyes like those…how could I have possibly turned him down?

“Elvis,” I said, so quietly it was almost a whisper. “Have you thought about why I didn’t tell you who I was when you came into the diner yesterday?”

He chewed his bottom lip. “I wondered.”

I sighed and faced away, leaning against the guardrail out toward the little creek and the emerald woods. “Before you left, eight years ago… when I told you that I loved you, it wasn’t just that.” I took a deep breath, readying myself for the familiar stinging behind my eyes, the ache in my throat. “I was just a kid, I didn’t even really know what love was. So I guess what I had meant by that—and why it was so hard for me when you left—was because you were one of the only good things in my life in Tupelo.

“You made me so happy, and you made me feel loved the way no one else ever had before,” I went on. “And so when you left…there was nothing left to mask the pain of everything else I was going through.”

“I’m so sorry,” Elvis murmured beside me. 

I sighed again and collected myself. “Like I said before, I got over it. And I moved out of Tupelo as fast as I could, and I eventually got to Memphis. But when I saw you in the diner yesterday after all those years…”

“It brought back the bad memories,” he guessed. 

I nodded. “And I figured…maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing that you didn’t recognize me. Because I didn’t have to be that girl anymore.”

I didn’t have to be Y/N from Tupelo who grew up with no money and a bad home life. I could be Missy, the cool college girl living in the city. I could be someone better.

“I was able to get a fresh start with you,” I finished.

Elvis bit his lip again, deep in thought. Wordlessly, he sat at the edge of the bridge and gazed off into the woods. I joined him, and together our feet dangled over the blue creek. Around us, speckles of sunlight shone through the leaves of the trees above us and danced along the wooden slats of the bridge. A steady breeze brought goosebumps to my arms, and I shivered, despite the summer warmth.

Where would we go from here?

Elvis broke the silence after a long while. “What if we started with a...with a blank slate?” he mused. “Forget Tupelo, and the diner, and everything. Let’s just start over again.”

“It’s not that easy,” I mumbled. 

“Why not?” He grinned suddenly and bumped my shoulder with his. “I’m just a boy who likes a girl. Doesn’t seem all that complicated to me.”

His smile was, unfortunately, infectious. “Well…That part seems simple enough,” I agreed.

He brushed his finger against mine where they rested on the bridge behind us. "I like you, and I'm gonna take you out tonight," he murmured. "I'm gonna take you to dinner, and you're gonna get whatever you want to eat, and we're gonna split some fancy dessert, and I'm gonna give you the last bite, like always."

I laughed, remembering the days of our youth. We used to save up our spare change and run across town to the general store in Tupelo, and we'd have just enough to purchase one chocolate bar. We'd climb up to the top of a tree and sit side-by-side on one of the branches to split the bar. And Elvis would always save the last bite for me, every time, without fail.

"You remembered," I said.

"I always will," he replied.

The memory prompted me to think about my nightmare from last night, about the storm, and climbing the tree, and Elvis's voice sounding from the house. I was beginning to understand what the dream had meant.

"I'm gonna treat you right, Y/N," he continued. "I want to do everything I can to show you that you can trust me. I want to know who you are."

I flipped my hand around, and Elvis interlocked his fingers with mine. Holding hands was just something we’d always done, even before anything turned romantic between us. We used to hold hands everywhere as kids. Now, seeing his hand joined with mine, I felt that familiar burn of nostalgia, but it felt good. He felt good. He was the feeling of home.

But I was scared. So scared. More scared than I was ready to admit right then. And I could tell that he knew it.

“Let’s start over?” he said again, but this time it was a question.

I squeezed his hand and replied softly, “Okay.”

✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷✷

A/N:

I hope you enjoyed chapter 3 ♡ This story has become sort of like my own comfort fic except I'm the one writing it haha! I can only hope I emulated the same sense of comfort and nostalgia and warmth onto you, my readers. Thank you eternally for sticking with me through this slow burn!

I’m dying to hear your thoughts about it! Please note that I write fanfiction for free; my only request for repayment is a genuine expression of your thoughts, opinions, likes/dislikes, and predictions about the story. Whether it’s simply a “Wow, I loved it!”, a keyboard smash, a series of convoluted thoughts in the tags, or even a full-out review, please know that any and all feedback is welcome!

Much love ❤︎ from Juniper

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Taglist (THANKS SO MUCH TO ALL OF YOU WHO GRACIOUSLY LEFT COMMENTS ON THE LAST CHAPTER!):

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@thatonemoviefan @literally-just-elvis-fics @dollfaceyourfear @sprinkleofbooty @teenwolfbitches28  @busy-bee-angel-misska​ 

[flower-cage]

flower-cage's personal library

Welcome to my library! Here you will find my absolute favorite fics and authors, the ones that really stand out to me in one way or another and that I go back to often. Check out flower-cage's writings for my own work!

Reading Guide

currently reading Aemond Targaryen x Reader/OC, only, but that doesn't mean the authors listed here stick to this fandom/character;

works are organized, respectively, by type and reading timeline, with the most recent at the bottom;

summaries (from the og works), warnings, tags, and word count to help you choose :) but please heed the warnings in each work;

Tags explained: how I personally categorize each work (angst, smut, etc).

Types explained:

blurbs: < 1k words, stand-alone works;

one-shots: > 1k words, stand-alone works;

chaptered: longer works divided into sections that should be read in a specific order;

series: one-shots that belong to the same storyline or universe, or read better in a specified sequence, but can ultimately be enjoyed as stand-alone works;

masterlists: an author's entire work because I love everything they put out!

Please enjoy, but only if you are 18+. Minors do not interact. If you are an author listed here and would like me to remove you, just message me!

Last updated on 27.08.2023. Updated every Friday, on Flower's Fic-Rec Friday :)

masterlists

UPDATED @marthawrites's masterlist

I love everything she writes. Top-tier smut, with a style very unique to her! My favorites are the Midnight Passage series and the Darkened Corridors one-shot. Tags: top-tier smut, Dark!Aemond, several kink checks. Warnings: 18+ only, explicit sexual content.

@softcoreparadise's masterlist

Very distinct author. To me, her works are dark, beautiful, and melancholic. Her writing style is by far one of the most beautifully poetic I've come across in any kind of literature. When it's sad - and it often is - it will gut your heart out in the most delicious way. My favorites are bloodletting, aftertaste, and give peace a chance one-shots, and the Flesh Without Blood series. Tags: angst, dark themes, sadness, beautiful imagery, AUs, Dark!Aemond. Warnings: 18+ only, non-con, gore, and other dark themes.

chaptered

@mllemarianne's Deserving

My take: This fic is my everything. Strong!Reader is almost an OC and she is a fantastic character. Aemond is deep and emotional, yet as rigid as we know him to be. Both are extremely well-rounded characters. All the feelings in the book. Long sexy scenes for all tastes! Chapter count: 3/3 Summary: When you are betrothed to another, Aemond doesn’t want to address it strangely. Annoyed by his reaction, you reminisce about your whole relationship and everything that led to this very night, during the storm, in a tiny inn room with only one bed… Tags: angst, fluff, smut, all the feelings, some mildly dark themes, purity culture. Warnings: 18+ only, explicit sexual content, darkish themes.

@hamatoanne's Survivor

My take: I've shared this work a bunch of times recently but it's worth reinforcing. It is insanely entertaining and insanely sexy. Deliciously torturous slow burn and a little dark. Chapter count: 8/8. Summary: In an abrupt turn of events, you are taken prisoner in the Red Keep. With no family and nothing to fight for, will you lose hope? Tags: enemies to lovers, pining, slow burn, dark themes, angst. Warnings: 18+ only, forced marriage and other dark themes.

@arcielee's She Walks In Starlight

My take: Beautiful imagery, poetic without being overly complicated, a little dark and melancholic. Everything you never knew you needed. Chapter count: 3/3 Summary: A goddess comes to ask for help to save her friends. Tags: Greek Mythology AU, Hades!Aemond, Persephone!OFC, dark themes. Warnings: 18+ only, incest.

@oneeyedvisenya's A Dragon Without Wings

My take: Sexy, fun, and just a little angsty. Unique plot! Chapter count: 5/5 Summary: In the year 130 A.C., Prince Aemond Targaryen narrowly escapes the Battle above God’s Eye with his life. Wounded and desperate, he is found by a common girl of the Riverlands who cannot bear to watch someone die, knowing that she could have changed that outcome. She rescues him, the Dance of Dragons comes to an end not long after, and the Targaryen prince finds himself a fugitive in the country he so recently ruled. Tags: angst, gore/violence, fluff, smut. Warnings: 18+ only, explicit sexual content, gore/violence.

@sapphire-writes's Down In Flames

My take: One my favorite things I've ever read! SO much fun. Aemond is too fucking sexy in this work, it's almost too much. Delicious soap-opera-level drama and delicious smut. Chapter count: 10/10 + a lil prequel Summary: Dracarys is the next big thing, and you have followed the band to the top. But tensions rise as the band grows into fame. Will you make it out in one piece, or are you destined to go down in flames? Tags: Modern!AU, RockBand!AU, enemies to lovers, angst, smut, drama, some dark themes. Warnings: 18+ only, explicit sexual content, violence, irresponsible drinking, addiction, and other dark themes.

@dulcewrites's Fool Me Once

My take: I love FMO with all my heart. A part of me really wants this to be endgame Aemond x Reader but I don't want to ask and ruin the surprise. We all love this OC, she's the best. Aemond is a shitty husband and there is a lot of angst. Chapter count: 10/10 Summary: After learning about Aemond’s indiscretions, you decide to take matters into your hands. Tags: angst, violence/gore, cheating, smut, war. Warnings: 18+ only, explicit sexual content, violence/gore, and other dark themes.

@its-actually-minicika's Dragon Sickness

My take: This fucked me up. It's the only thing on my mind. And holy shit I have never wanted two people to fuck more. Chapter count: 2/4. Prompt: Hi, love your works so much! Can't wait for more updates 🥰🥰 I was wondering maybe you'd like the idea where book!Aemond and Velarion!(Strong?)Reader are in an arranged marriage. But Reader just knows what to say and how to act so that Aemond is wrapped around her finger (kinda thought of Margaery and Joffrey situation, she was such a talented schemer, worthy of winning the Throne 😭). I don't really know about the setting, like if it's before, during or after the Dance... just thought it'd be interesting to see this kind of plot with our beloved Prince 🤴🏼🐉 Tags: enemies to lovers, smut(ish) so far, heart-clenching, Aemond is so fucking hot. Warnings: 18+ only; sexual themes, violent themes.

@sylas-the-grim's Deep Rivers Run Quiet

My take: This is by far one of the best things I've read recently. The way the author paints Aemond's trauma and internal turmoil is brilliant yet simple, effortless, and without making the story too dark. The way his wife helps him work through it is beautifully realistic. I've been through a similar struggle and was surprised how much I resonated with it. Beautiful, lovely, sexy - a must-read. Chapter count: 3/3. Summary: Aemond's first experience at a brothel left him scarred and with deep-seated performance anxiety, because it takes him a long time to climax. After a disastrous wedding night, his wife and him work on ways to build up his confidence and finally consume their union. Tags: smut, arranged marriage, hurt/comfort, heartwarming, first time, fluff, OC Baratheon female character. Warnings: 18+ only; explicit sexual content, sex/intimacy trauma.

@humanpurposes's My Heart Belongs to Daddy

My take: I was SO hooked on this, the plot is so intriguing and unique! The sneaking around, the love triangle, the infidelity (not with Reader), the... questionable morals... will have you on edge and biting your nails until the very end. The smut, the angst, and the fluff are 10/10. Chapter count: 7/7. Summary: She loves this little game of theirs, taking what they can from each other with the brief moments they have. Tags: smut, angst, fluff, infidelity, Modern!AU, Modern!Aemond x Step-daughter reader, daddy kink, power dynamics, misunderstandings for days. Warnings: 18+ only; explicit sexual content, infidelity, some power imbalance.

@targaryenrealnessdarling's Consequences

My take: I loved reading this. It broke my heart and stole my breath away. The author paints his internal turmoil and what drives him to commit this sexual violence and you are sucked in to his crazed mind. It's entirely captivating in its every gruesome detail. Mind, this story can be extremely triggering so heed the author's warnings before you proceed. Chapter count: 8/8. Summary: Only nine and ten, she does not know much about the world and when she acquires a job at the Red Keep as a maidservant, she catches the dark and ominous attention of the One-Eyed Prince. Unsure if she even wants it, she may realise that the realm is not so kind to lowborn women, regardless of the situation they find themselves in. Tags: smut, heartbreaking angst, non-con, hate/love(?), sad ending, sad sad sad. Warnings: rape, power imbalance, sexism, abortion, sexual violence, gore, blood.

@targaryenrealnessdarling's A Perfect Score

My take: WE HAVE A FIGURE SKATING AU. I REPEAT: WE HAVE A FIGURE SKATING AU. I'm so excited about this work! I'll be eating those long chapters up as they come out because the very first one is already a master piece. Enemies to lovers? Check. Reluctant skating partners? Check. Unavoidable physical touch? Check. Hate turns into thick sexual tension? Check. There is not a reason for anyone not to read this. On top of that, we dive into the sexism and nepotism of the sports industry. Chapter count: 10/10 + Epiloque Summary: Striving for a place in the Olympics, Aemond desperately needs to find another partner to step in when his becomes injured. With little experience in couples figure skating as well as Aemond’s closed-off and antisocial nature, it will be a challenge to work with him. Tags: Figure Skating!AU, Modern!AU, enemies to lovers, reluctant skating partners, bedrooms across form one another. Warnings (so far): sexism, nepotism, explicit language, injury.

@giorno-plays-piano's House of Chains

My take: Holy shit this is amazing. I am so excited to have such a wonderful new writer in the fandom! I can't wait to see what else you'll write. Plot is very engrossing, reader is such an interesting character, and Aemond is *chef's kiss* dark and shy and messed up. Highly recommend you read the one shot, Unsteady, also featured in this library in the one shot section, which led to this incredible series. Chapter count: 7/7. Summary: In return for help to come back to your home world, you have been faithfully supporting the Greens to put Aegon on the throne. But when your promise is fulfilled, neither Otto nor Aemond are keen on letting you go. Tags: Mage!Reader, different words collide, dimension (?) traveling, frenemies to lovenemies (?), ambiguous ending, angst, sexual content. Warnings: 18+ only; some violence, sexual abuse/rape/nonconsensual sex, explicits sexual content, mentions of blood and death, dark themes.

@arabellasleopardcoat's MAD

My take: Absolutely LOVING this! I don't think I've ever read anything quite like it. It has a bit of dark themes, nothing too far off what we see in canon, but the way the author tells it makes it light-hearted and so much fun. Every turn of it is so unexpected, I'm surprised I really can't tell what's coming next in a genre where we read for comfort, which usually means we at least generally know what to expect. Wonderful. Also a very unique portrayal of Aemond. Just love the way you tell it! Chapter count: 3/3. Summary: Caught in the crossfire of your familiy's ploys, you never expected to catch the eye of the enemy. Tags: angst, fluff, pining, funny, Beesbury/Beekeeper!Reader. Warnings (so far): mentions of noncon, mentions of sex, manipulation.

@targaryenrealnessdarling's No Pain, No Gain

My take: Really spamming your notes lately but holy crap... that was so freaking hot. Top-tier sexual tension will drive you insane. Personal trainer Aemond is so freaking sexy. Chapter count: 4/4. Summary: The personal trainer your roommate Baela recommended to you is rude, condescending but also hot as hell. Tags: enemies to lovers, sexual tension, smut, fluff, summer vacation loving, so much sexiness. Warnings: 18+ only; explicit sexual content, toxic/misogynistic ex, mentions of infidelity.

series

@oneeyedvisenya's Education

My take: Top-tier smut and it feels like slow burn even though it isn't. Parts count: 3/3 Summary: Aemond's betrothed is consumed by feelings of guilt for the lust she feels for her husband-to-be. She is soon to discover, however, that those feelings are mutual. Tags: top-tier smut, betrothal, newly-weds, first time, fluff. Warnings: 18+ only, explicit sexual content, purity culture.

@arcielee's Call It Dreaming

My take: Insanely sexy stuff, with a delightful sprinkle of dark (and simp) Aemond. Though I see it as a series of one-shots, I highly recommend reading it in order so the plot makes more sense! Parts count: 5/5 Summary: You have a delightful sex dream. Tags: top-tier smut, Modern meets Canon, obsessive Aemond, heartwarming. Warnings: 18+ only, explicit sexual content, dark themes.

blurbs

@warmfieldofgrass's by your side

My take: A tiny little thing that I want to put in a jar and keep close to my heart. So lovely, so sweet. Word count: 975. Summary: aemond is reminded that you will be by his side through anything. Tags: hurt/comfort, married, a tiny bit of angst, fluff, heartwarming. Warnings: mentions of pain and violence.

DEACTIVATED @jasonsmirrorball's HIGH INFIDELITY

My take: This one gets its own jar too. Lovely and a little angsty. Beautiful writing. Word count: 903. Summary: he watches the white of your clothing flutter in the wind and thinks he doesn’t mind so much being a glorified babysitter. Tags: unrequited love, melancholy, heart-clenching. Warnings: 18+ only, mentions of sexual content.

DEACTIVATED @blayresmuses's invisible string

My take: This one is so lovely, just a tiny bit (suggestive) smutty, yet leaves you wanting so much more. If I give you my firstborn, will you give me a part 2? Word count: 893. Summary: you recklessly put your betrothal to aemond at risk but he proves he’s willing to have you anyway, no matter what. Tags: heartwarming(ish), smut(ish). Warnings: 18+ only, suggestive sexual content.

@daenysx's unnamed little blurb

My take: Just a sweet little thing that is now part of my "I need a hug but can't get one right now" routine. Sweet, sweet, sweet. Prompt: Hi! Just saw that you're in need of requests, and I was thinking about how Aemond would react if he was sick, like he's got that flu that is so intense he can't get out of bed for days. I can imagine him being grumpy and needy, but idk. Thank you!! Tags: hurt/comfort, sick Aemond, fluff, Modern!AU. Warnings: 18+ only; suggestive content.

@aemondavenue's allure

My take: Wonderful, gripping little thing - I could feel the longing, the allure, and makes me want to read so much more. Word count: 900. Summary: N/A Tags: Siren!Reader, a little angst, heart-clenching. Warnings: mentions of pain.

one-shots

@wackapedia's Just One Day

My take: I'm gonna have to collect tiny jars to keep close to my heart and one of them is for this work. It is angsty, sweet, and the right amount of dark. I would give you my firstborn for a part 2. It will make your heart clench. Beautiful writing style too. Word count: 1,871. Summary: Aemond gets his oh moment when his betrothed gets really ill and is at the brink of death. Tags: angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, heartwarming, heart-clenching. Warnings: mentions of death and some dark themes.

@aemxnd's the thrill of the chase

My take: YES. PLEASE. YES PUH-LEASE. yes... please. Word count: 5,2k. Summary: Aemond has a plan, whether you like it or not. Tags: smut, real hot stuff, kinky, married. Warnings: 18+ only; dark(ish) themes, explicit sexual content, consent play.

@jasonsmirrorball's SMALL SPACES

My take: So so so so sweet! The kind of fic that'll have you coming back whenever you're in need of comfort. Lives in my heart rent-free. Beautiful writing. Word count: 1,764. Summary: requested by anon for the 777 follower celebration: comforting him when the pain in his eye gets too much. Tags: hurt/comfort, a bit of angst, heartwarming, fluff, married. Warnings: mentions/thoughts of violence, pain, and infidelity.

@themotherofhorses's his handmaid's tales

My take: I've said it before, I'll say it again - this has royally fucked me up. It's my favorite part of the series by the same name (so far). It's SO fucking hot. Aemond has the dirtiest mouth AND is a dom AND is total simp. Kinks for the whole family! Word count: 1,239 (and several parts to the series). Summary: cassandra baratheon dreams of prince aemond. the same cannot be said for prince aemond himself. Tags: top-tier smut, all the kinks, power play, breeding kink, voyeurism(ish), infidelity. Warnings: 18+ only; explicit language, explicit sexual content, infidelity.

@hamatoanne's over and over again

My take: Sorry I'm always spamming your notes! But I am obsessed! With how you write smut! Aemond says the most unbelievably hot stuff and it catches me off guard every time. If you like forbidden, sinful love (sex), this is for you. Word count: 1,512. Summary: You want to resist. Why is it so hard? Tags: top-tier smut, Targcest/incest, infidelity, puritan guilt (?). Warnings: 18+ only; explicit language, explicit sexual content, infidelity, incest.

DEACTIVATED @silverwinged's Experience teaches

My take: I sometimes skip warnings because I Iike living on the edge and this... really did... take me... to the edge. No but this is so chin-dropping. It's super hot but it like- creeps on you. I don't know what I was expecting going in but wow. P.S.: please don't be like me and do heed warnings. Word count: 4.4k. Tags: hurt/comfort, top-tier smut, Targcest/incest, heartwarming. Warnings: 18+ only; explicit language, explicit sexual content, incest, purity culture.

@theromanticegoist's play your part through to the end

My take: Beautifully written, melancholic story that will make your heart clench. Incredibly sweet yet tragic, but what stands out of course is the prose - reads like poetry. Word count: 1,087. Prompt: "I’d like to request a fic where Aemond’s wife helps him get dressed before he goes into his first battle." "i see this & i raise you (a heartbreaking) aemond’s wife helping him get dressed before he goes into his final battle" Tags: hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, heart-clenching, ambiguous ending. Warnings: allusions to violence, allusions to character death.

@arcielee's dōna mandia

My take: I'm not usually into the "sharing is caring" trope, but this really turned me. I think because the romantic relationship is still between Aemond and reader - and how sweet it is -, the kink creeped on me by appealing to my poor, unexpecting heart. 10/10 smut with inappropriateness from incest, purity culture, and innocence kink. Oof. Word count: 4,085. Summary: Her brothers convince her to play a game of hide-and-seek. Tags: Older brother!Aemond, Older brother!Aegon, threesome, innocence kink, first time, possessive brothers. Warnings: 18+ only; explicit sexual content, dubious consent, incest, purity culture.

@fidelias's dragon's blood

My take: So so so sweet and lovely. The kind of story you go back to when you need a hug. Word count: 3,479. Summary: you and aemond have always been close. but when your brother is killed, the ensuing rift threatens to tear you apart for good. Tags: hurt/comfort, married, angst, fluff, targcest, Aemond x Niece!Reader. Warnings: 18+ only; character death, physical violence, derogatory language, allusions to explicit sexual content.

@giorno-plays-piano's Unsteady

My take: BRAND NEW BRILLIANT WRITER IN THE HOTD FANDOM ALERT. This wonderful short story, that has spun off into a series that will most definitely make its way here, has an intriguing plot, a mystic, powerful reader from another universe, vulnerable yet dark Aemond, and, above all, incredibly captivating, lyrical, somber prose that paints the set up of the plot like a dystopian movie. Read at your own risk of being enchanted. Word count: 2k. Summary: Quiet, you stand together, leaning on the balcony and watching the dead sea, each left to your own thoughts. The silence between you is not strained but comforting, an indication of peace and, perhaps, some sort of unity. In the end, you are on his side. Tags: magic, different universes coming together, dark, shy, vulnerable Aemond, Mage!Reader, hurt/comfort, fluff, angst. Warnings: dark themes, pain, mentions of death, mentions of gore, mentions of violence.

@arabellasleopardcoat's Last Man On Earth

My take: Oof. This is just one of those things you never knew you needed until you read it and are completely awestruck by it. Beautiful, dark, and poetic in its simplicity. An understanding of the trauma and complexity of these characters told with incredible ease, in incredibly engrossing, touching imagery. Just go and read and enjoy. Word count: 12,644. Summary: No one told King Aemond about the Song of Ice and Fire. As the daughter of Rhaenyra, you have one last mission left. Tags: heart-clenching, bittersweet, dark themes, Targcest, arranged/forced/dubious consent marriage, angst, fluff, smut. Warnings: 18+ only; explicit sexual content, dubious consent, toxic dynamics, codependency, violence, mentions of blood, mentions of death.

[squivulous]

My Podcast Masterlist

I have a long commute, giving me two hours a day to listen to podcasts. Here is my documentation of all the audio dramas I’ve consumed plus a little blurb. I just wanted to organize them in a list and also (selfishly) get recommendations if anyone would be so kind. Or maybe you’ll see something that’ll interest you. Enjoy!

Podcasts I’m Caught Up With

The Penumbra Podcast: I’ve made an animatic for this one. I’m down bad. This is the one that sucked me into this podcast world.

Malevolent: Arthur dating sim when??? Everyone wants him. Also it took me way too long to find out it was an actual play podcast.

Red Valley: Gordon fan all the way. Normally I do like the Sad Boy but Gordon is that type of dorky that makes me want to protect him.

Caravan: Interesting world and love a main character that makes questionable decisions. Everything is going to be fine :)

WOE.BEGONE: I’m obsessed. It happened slowly but now I think about it every day… And the music is so good! Mike Walters is cringefail, bbygurl, easy to manipulate, and saws his left arm off at the shoulder.

The Cellar Letters: Legit gets me spooked at times. Steve and Nate are good vibes. I’m sure glad nothing ever happens to them.

Harbor: Love that Sam being a malewife ruined his life.

Rifted: Aurora, another Sad Boy to add to my collection. Daniel should give him a kiss to make him feel better.

Heroics: Pls come back some day… I need more Josh. He’s in his slay era.

Second Fiddles: Max is owning being a bbygurl. Also there are a lot of poop jokes which is weird but I’ll look past it.

Hand in Glove: idk anything about baseball but these baseball players are smoochinggg.

Find Us Alive: Lancaster in booty jorts. It's canon. Don't look it up. I'm right. ALSO HE NEEDS TO TALK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM PLS.

The Kingmaker Histories: The kiss is still the subject of much historical debate. Eisen <3

The Viridian Wild: It hasn’t been updated since 2021 but I still have hope.

Dos: After You: Ghosting GONE WRONG

Brimstone Valley Mall: SEASON TWO IS COMING. 90’s mall setting is really fun and I’m here for the thing Asmoraius and Trent have going on.

Levian: It starts off with a bang! Well not quite since his sister walks in oops. Excited to see where this pirate tale takes us.

Midnight Burger: Each episode is a delight and as someone who is bad at science, I appreciate Gloria and Caspar. Caspar pls stay forever and also Brodie <3

Return Home: I’m really listening to it for Buddy and DW.

Raythe Reign: Sometimes you need a yaoi.

The White Vault: At this point, I know what I’m getting into and yet still decide to get attached to these characters

The Amelia Project: Please don’t hurt the Interviewer! He’s too goofy for all this drama. I’m scared!

Fawx & Stallion: James Stallion being canonically hot in any situation is such a win

Victoriocity: Inspector Fleet has had a long week and needs some days off

Yokai Detective Agency: I’m always a sucker for detective stories and I’m looking forward to where this one is going

Desert Skies: Charming characters and love that the plot has a nice pace, not dragging things out

The Grotto: the music is so good but also please help. The emotional turmoil is torrential.

Camlann: Yo…. Dai, for real???

Podcasts I’ve Completed

Dash: This might not be completed? This is actually the first audio drama I finished. Classic noir but supernatural and boys are smooching!

The Two Princes: This was wholesome and had good vibes. I prefer the first season but it was still a fun time.

The Magnus Archives: Arrived late to the party on this one, but I love all the fanart. Awakened my interest in pathetic men.

EOS 10: I also am not 100% sure this is done but I enjoyed the shenanigans!

Wolf 359: Eiffel, my beloved. I liked the silly and dramatic parts of this story. It hurt my soul but it was worth it :)

Time:Bombs: noahdeaart's fanart made me think this was going in a different direction... Still a fun one!

Valence: Love this one WAAAAHHH! Pls listen. I love Nico. Sad Boy but hides it under their chaos energy.

The Bright Sessions: I would 1005% listen to a spin-off just about Mark. This Sad Boy keeps collecting trauma and I need to see him and Oliver maybe go on adventures or something. ANYTHING.

Roommates: I, too, had a pandemic college experience. It's kinda bizarre that there's already a story about that and I love it!

Look Up: Wholesome. Briggon Snow kept me fed.

Moonface: Appreciate having an audio drama from an Asian American perspective. Didn’t realize how much I needed that.

Murray Mysteries: Must protect Jonathan.

Kaleidotrope: More wholesome content. I got more into it by the second half. The hosts have a fun dynamic!

Re: Dracula: Still thinking about Inside You.

Wooden Overcoats: Rudyard is my fav. Chapman deserves the hate.

The Vanishing Act: this Rudyard wasn’t my fav. I was happy to listen to him suffer but also happy when he fell in love. A win for Griffson!

Greater Boston: Michael Tate <3

Ars Paradoxica: Nikhil Sharma <3

Podcasts I’m Catching Up On

Life with Althaar: I knew that plant lady was sus

The Night Post: Ashley……

Love and Luck: I’m on ep 87 now some magical things are going down

Going Lowbrow: I wasn’t expecting a musical but I’m not complaining.

SAYER: There are no bees on Typhon :)

WTNV: I got behind during high school and now I’m too scared to get caught up… one day. It's been so long at this point I think I'd need to start over.

BRASS: I fell behind on episodes :(

Not Quite Dead: If there are vampires, I'm automatically interested. Only a few eps in.

Hi Nay: I’m listening to Murphy respectfully.

Podcasts I’ve Dropped

Moonbase Theta Out

Dreamboy

Archive 81

The Sheridan Tapes

Jar of Rebuke

I’ll keep this updated every so often. Most of these I’ve found either from scouring rec lists or seeing nice fanart.

Please let me know of any recommendations you may have! Thanks for reading if you got this far. Mad respect.

Last updated: 04/14/24

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - P’ABL Versus The Hotel Wifi

(spoiler, I lost)

Oct 2022 Wk 2

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying the most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

The Eclipse (Fri YT) 10 of 12 - Neo is so damn good in this role. But the plot is starting to drag. I don't think this show will hold up to a binge watch. But Akk & Aye really are a killer couple. Akk caught himself a live one. I didn’t even mind the wifey talk. 

My Only 12% (Fri iQIYI) 10 of 14 - Cake being back and jealous as fuck and totally into Eiw is way better and more satisfying than I thought it would be. Santa is good in this role. These 2 define codependency and it’s a little worrying, but Cake’s unalloyed joy at being with Eiw and just looking at him again is the warmest I’ve felt since the final ep of DNA Say Love You. This is a greta little show. 

Ai Long Nhai (Mon iQIYI) 3 of 10 - It is a perfectly serviceable little pulp, it’s hitting all the tropes, but was a bit dull this ep (plus a bit crass and theres the stalker thing). I don’t really have a lot to say about it. Ai does switch from mueng to ter after kissing Nahi - that was cute! 

Ghost Host, Ghost House (Weds YouTube) 2 of 8 - I still hold that the lead couple is nice but not sure about anything else. 

Remember Me (Sun Gaga) 1 of 8 - I don’t know what it is about a voice over + Thailand but it never works well, it’s always jaw-clenchingly cliché. I don’t know if it’s the way the script is written or the limited capacity of those captioning it, but it’s never as poetic as it’s trying to be. It’s like a poem written by a middle schooler who thinks they’re very deep. This is one of those situations where the Gaga interface is failing me, because I need the skip ahead button and not the 1.5 speed (although I’m using it). Look, I’m really not into 90s nostalgia. All that said, and despite the fact that this was mostly about a pack of kids running around, which is not my thing, I actually enjoyed this ep. I was hoping to take this one out of rotation because I have too much on at the mo. But I guess it’s staying in. JaFirst = penpals who never meet. ManTitle = sunshine chatty and The Boy Who Never Speaks. Mean = the clownish leader, and random other boy = the token het. 

Big Dragon (Sat Gaga) 2 of 8 - Surprise kink! This is a bunch of rough and angry nonsense, but fun nonsense. Like relationship drama between friends you don’t really like. Things that are meant to be funny, aren’t funny, things that are meant to be tense, aren’t tense, but I’m still watching it. I think that makes me the sucker, tho. 

Work from Heart (Thurs YouTube) 4 of 7 - My Favorite boy with the tattoos makes a reappearance. But mostly this show is just really boring. 

Love in the Air (Thurs iQIYI) 9 of 13 - whatever, Pai: DUMPSTER FIRE TRASH WATCH ALONG HERE. 

Fahlanruk (Sun GaGa) 5 of 12 - And I’m out. This one is a dnf for me. Someone can tell me if the 2nd half is worth it, after it finishes, but I’m not gonna bother to watch it every week anymore. I genuinely don’t like any of the couples and the fujoshi framing is repulsive under the context of a narrative trying to be this authentically gay. I’ve lost all patience. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Takara-kun and Amagi-kun (Japan GaGa & Viki) 8fin - These 2 were tooth achingly sweet and impossibly lovely. This show was beyond charming: soft, gentle, adorable and packed with cuteness and angst. Did anything actually happen? No. Was there any kind of even attempt at a plot? No. Did I enjoy the hell out of it, anyway? Oh yes. 9/10 TOTALLY RECOMMENDED UNDEMANDING FLUFFY GOODNESS 

Roommates of Poongduck 304 (Korea Thurs Viki) 1 of 8 - I like it a lot. Rich poor. Enemies to lovers. Forced proximity. Pretty boys. What’s not to enjoy? 

My Tooth Your Love (Taiwan Fri Gaga & Viki) 1 of 12 - It’s cute, quirky, well acted, and a bit slow moving. Pretty much what I expected. 

Kabe Koji (Japan Mon Viki) 2 of 10 - Seriously this should be everything I love in the world but Japan has to be overly creepy and stalker about it and now it’s totally borked it for me. Oh well. I’m still watching.

It’s Airing But I’m Not Watching It

War of Y 20 eps - it’s just all too much for me.

My Roommate 32 eps of 2 minutes each + terrible production values? - I’m not bothering.

Oh My Sunshine Night 16 eps (update: 20) - I’m scared it’s gonna be sad, so I’m waiting for spies to tell me it’s safe, so far reported to be quite the soap opera.

To Sir With Love AKA Khun Chai 10 eps (update: 28!) - dito 

2 Moons 3 Thai (Mon ??) 10 eps - I searched for it in a lacklustre manner but couldn’t find it legally anywhere convenient so gave up. I will watch it if it’s easy to do so. 

SELF (Thurs ??) - same again 

Wish Me Luck (Sat ??) - and again

Hard Love Mission (Sat WeTV?) - and again 

I might have a bit of a hunt when I get back, but for now it difficult enough to keep up with the main list. 

Gossip

I have been seriously considering an UWMA rewatch (as Between Us starts up next month). I’ve never chronicled or properly reviewed UWMA (which is my all time favorite Thai BL). And my understanding of Thai has markedly improved since i last watched it. What do you think? Anyone else interested? 

Japan announced a new Takumi adaptation. I think is is a terrible idea for many reasons. 

Sorry the whole work thing means I haven’t had time to check my usual sources for BL announcements and new releases. Also, you’ll notice very few screen shots. It’s a mad crazy world out there beyond the boundaries of one’s homey high speed internet. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Look my calendar is a nightmare. It’s all just too much right now, you’ll have to wait tell I get everything sorted. There’s a lot of stuff airing, you should watch what you like and ask me for recs if none of it appeals. 

October 2022 line up is here.

This week’s best moments?

Finally!

Those smiles! 

So many jellies 

(last week)

Current earworm? HYNN's The Story of Us featuring a very familiar face with some of my favorite dimples 

[oneiromania]

Welcome to oneiromania's RP blog!

♥ ABOUT ME ♥

Hi, call me Nei! I'm a 21 year old female student with just a little over a year of RP experience, though I've been writing for a lot longer than that. Ever since I got into the RP scene, I've been itching to write with others and finally let some of that brainrot escape it's fleshy prison. I try my best to be friendly and understanding, and I don't want or plan to get into any internet (and especially Tumblr) drama. I just wanna write!

I like to chat OOC when I vibe with my RP partners, and I'm prone to gushing about the characters, sending songs and playlists relevant to the RP, making Pinterest boards, sharing memes, and so on! I'd appreciate it if my partner shared the enthusiasm, but I get that that just isn't for everyone, and as long as the RP is fun and consistent, and my partner is respectful and understanding, I don't mind a more chill OOC experience.

♠ RULES ♠

Standard DNI criteria. MAPs, TERFs, racists, and other assholes, get the fuck off my blog.

You must be 18+. As I am an adult myself, I don't feel comfortable writing with minors regardless of the contents of the RP. I also prefer to write with people no older than 30.

I mainly write over Discord. I say mainly because I haven't yet decided if I'm going to make RP sideblogs for specific characters! I'll update this post if I do, but generally I don't RP outside of Discord. Additionally, I like making a private server for easier organization, and I like using Tupperbox. If you don't know what that is or how to use it, I'd be more than happy to teach you! But Tupperbox is not a must.

NO REALISTIC FCs. This might seem like a strange rule, but I simply cannot do RP when the faceclaim is a real person. This goes not only for actors, singers, and other celebrities, but really any photos of real people. You can use picrew or neka, or your own art, or even art you found on the internet. (I'm cool with using photos of real life outfits and stuff for reference, though!)

I write fandomless OC x OC, and sometimes CC x CC. I'll list my fandoms later, but generally speaking, I'm currently comfortable writing only a few canon characters.

My preferred ships are MxM and FxF, and I can also do ships with NB and genderfluid characters. I can do MxF as well, but I vastly prefer queer relationships, and I'll only do MxF if I really feel like it fits the RP. I hope you'll understand! Also: ships don't have to be romantic, I enjoy platonic and familial relationships as well, including friends, found family, and even enemies.

I write third person past and present, and I don't accept RP written in first person.

I can write anywhere from semi-lit/literate to novella. It depends on my mood and what the scene requires. Currently, I'm very busy, so I can only do shorter replies – around 2-3 short paragraphs, and likely not super detailed. Please just use good grammar.

Currently, I DON'T do NSFW. I'm comfortable with flirting and intimacy, but I prefer fading to black when it comes to sex scenes. It kind of depends on the RP and my partner if I'm willing to do more, because I need to feel comfy with writing it first!

I don't double. I know doubling means different things for different people, but however you define it, I don't do it.

My activity varies, as I am in college so sometimes life gets stressful or I get busy. I'll likely do at least 2-3 replies a week, though. At least one reply a week is what I ask from my partner.

Limits and triggers will be discussed before the RP.

Work with me when plotting! I CANNOT plot alone or figure out characters alone, if you're going into this with no plot or character ideas whatsoever, we're gonna have a difficult time figuring out what to write.

♦ WHAT DO I WRITE? ♦

I do both angst and fluff.

I like a lot of genres and settings! I have some plots in mind but I'd love to hear what you have to offer! The genres include: fantasy (high, medieval, victorian...), victorian settings, modern, sci-fi, supernatural, horror/thriller, futuristic, slice of life, and more.

I'm open to dark subject matter/whump. Since I enjoy horror, I also enjoy dark and gritty themes, as well as things that might be upsetting to explore. So long as we're both being mature about it, there shouldn't be a problem. This will, of course, be discussed in detail before we start writing.

I'm prone to making OCs on the fly or repurposing existing OCs, so even if I don't have an OC for our specific RP, I can make one in a matter of several days.

I reblog RP prompts and plots and make my own posts when I have an idea for a plot, so check out the rest of my blog and see if you like anything!

♣ FANDOMS ♣

This is a list of fandoms that I'm into! This doesn't necessarily mean I will RP characters from this fandom, instead, I'm listing them in case you're interested in RPing in the same or similar universe! I don't do CCxOC, but I do enjoy putting OCs in an existing fandom's universe, or making a world similar to that of the fandom. I also just get inspired by these fandoms, so if you look at any of these and think, "I'd love to do something inspired by this!", I think we can make some fun plots!

Fandoms which are bolded are those which I have CC characters I can RP, and I will write the characters I RP next to them

In no particular order:

Alice in Wonderland (the book, the sequel, the animated movie, Alice: Madness Returns)

Demon Slayer

Jujutsu Kaisen

Bungou Stray Dogs (have read the manga up until chapter 88) → can try my hand at a couple of characters!

Fate/Grand Order → Merlin (Caster), Jeanne d'Arc (Alter), Gudao/Gudako, probably more

Hades → Zagreus, Thanatos

Detroit: Become Human

Deep Sea Prisoner games (Mogeko Castle, Wadanohara, Gray Garden)

A Night In The Woods

Bloodborne

Soul Eater (anime)

Puella Magi Madoka Magica

Arknights (not super confident writing canon characters right now, but I'd love to use the setting)

Spirited Away

Spy x Family

RPGs (Mad Father, Witch's House, Pocket Mirror, Ib, Alice Mare, LiEat I, II and III)

Honkai: Star Rail

Noragami

Death Parade

Black Butler

Tokyo Ghoul

SCP foundation

Corpse Party

Little Nightmares (1 and 2)

and more, probably!

~LINKS~

A link to the overview of my current OCs! There's a short description for each of them, and a few of them have full docs ready, while for the rest, I can explain a bit more about them if you're interested in writing with any of them.

For my plot ideas, search the tag #nei's evil thoughts!

For my writing samples, search the tag #nei's evil scriptures!

I hope to find some more RP partners on here and write some incredible stories! If you'd like to discuss RP, please reach out to me via DMs and I will send you my Discord handle! Happy writing everyone!

[ariallegrorp]

Hello! I'm Ari Allegro, I'm 20 (she/her pronouns) and welcome to my RP blog! Here I send out different RP ads for whatever my silly self is craving! I do both fandomless and fandom RPs but here is a list of some fandoms I would like to RP, and expect more to be added as my interests expand (as they so frequently do lol)

In No Particular Order:

-Undertale/Deltarune

-Hadestown

-Warrior Cats

-Pokémon

-Ducktales 2017

-Hamilton

-Toontown

-Gravity Falls

-Harry Potter

-Encanto

-Sally Face

-Detroit: Become Human

-The Witcher (Netflix) ((Season 1 and 2 only! I haven't finished Season 3!))

-Into/Across the Spiderverse

What I Will Do:

-Doubles

-OC x OC

-OC x Canon (Let's chat about it before!)

-Canon x Canon (Depending on the ship and how well I can play a given character!)

-Platonic/Familial Plots

-Fluff, Angst and Whump

What I WON'T Do:

-Things that trigger me or make me uncomfortable (I will let you know and we can discuss it!)

-NSFW with people under 18

-One-liners. I need to be able to work with what's written, but I also prioritize quality over quantity.

Other Things You Need To Know:

-My timezone is Mountain Standard Time! Chances are I am online though because I'm insane and don't have a sleep schedule lol

-I mirror my partner's length generally, but most commonly I am semi-literate!

-This one is really really important: I have a lot of physical health issues and chronic pain that can make it hard to respond some days, so there may be days I do not get responses in. I also have terrible memory! This is NOT me ghosting you! All I ask is a simple ping and I will update you as soon as possible on what's up!

-If you don't enjoy talking OOC, I will not be your kind of rp partner. I love making headcanons, playlists and Pinterest boards for characters, so get on that with me and I will love you forever!

-I will use IRL faceclaims OR drawn faceclaims based on what is your preference!

-I use Tupperbox for organization! If you do not know how to use it, I will gladly guide you through!

-Interact with this or any given ad I send out and I will get back to you as soon as humanly possible!

I hope to RP with you soon, lovelies! 💜

[kaliawai512-v2]

Hey!

I’m trying to develop my own writing skills, but I am a little baby in the world of writing so I’m seeking help and I think your writing is really cool and it makes me happy. So I found my way here.

But I just wanted to ask if you could tell me anything about your writing process? Like how you work with drafts, plotting, editing and how you manage the time/motivation to write so much holy cow! Also how long have you been writing consistantly?

Okay that’s a lot of questions at once, sorry. 😂

Anyway I hope you enjoy your day! ;)

Hiya!!

Aww, thank you so much! I’m so glad you enjoy my writing, and thank you for leaving such kind comments <3 Absolutely, I’m happy to share my experience! Sorry that this is a veeeeeeeery long reply XD

I don’t have a super-neat process for managing drafts. When I get an idea for a story, I jot it down, but I try not to force it. I let it sit in the back of my head and it will either develop or fade into oblivion. If I’ve got enough ideas that it seems like it could make a full story, I start organizing it into scenes and/or chapters (depending on the length). There will often be some “blanks” in between major events, and I fill those in as I get inspiration.

Once I’ve got at least a mostly complete outline, I start writing. And this is where I’m a massive weirdo: I write completely out of order. I’ll write a bit of a scene in Chapter 17 and then a snippet in Chapter 1, and oh, now I figured out how the final chapter will end so I’m writing that now, and then a bit in Chapter 6 … you get the picture XD This process probably won’t work for most people, but I’ve been doing it for around ten years now (yes, I am a Tumblr grandma) and it works great for me - even though it does lead to a bit more editing down the line.

I don’t edit at all as I go, and I try not to start editing until I’m at least a good ways through writing. When I am ready to edit, I read everything out loud - this helps me catch things I might not miss and helps me get a sense for what “sounds” right on the sentence level. It also wears down my voice a bit, so I don’t edit a ton at once.

And I’m flattered you think so highly of my motivation!! But I have a secret to share … I don’t write consistently - at least not in the long run XD If I’m working toward a specific goal, then I try to write fairly consistently (I also love NaNoWriMo). But I find that if I have to force myself to write over and over, then it’s worth questioning whether I’m having fun with the project. Every project has its tough parts, and sometimes you just have to power through if you want to see the end product. But there’s no glory in just tormenting yourself all the time - especially when you’re writing fanfic.

Lately, I write at least 500 words daily - sometimes up to 5-6k. But this is a writing binge. Prior to this February, I hadn’t written consistently in around six months. And before that binge, a lot longer. Why? I have a lot going on in my life. Writing is one of my passions, and at the moment, purely done for fun - and that’s not a bad thing! My creativity in various areas comes and goes, and I’ve learned to accept when it wanes and just do other things for a while. It always comes back eventually.

But the biggest piece of advice I can give you is: figure out what YOU like. Because your goals aren’t mine, and your life isn’t mine! I hope that my experience will offer you something (and questions are ALWAYS welcome <3) but you should always do what works best for you. Absolutely reach out to lots of writers and get their takes, but don’t take any piece of writing advice without a grain of salt. As far as I’m concerned, there are no hard-fast rules in writing.

Have fun with writing, give yourself space to practice on projects you enjoy, and if you can, keep the pressure low! I wish you all the best in your journey and I know you’re going to make amazing things <3

Hope you have a great day as well! :D

[darkestcorners]

hii!! this might be kind of long (I apologize in advance!! ^^) but can I ask a few questions about your skill in writing? like how long did it take you to get to the level and style of writing you're at now? how did you figure out what you actually enjoy writing? how long have you been writing (or at least started taking a serious interest in it)? and do you have any tips that personally help you? bc I used to write a lot but I haven't had motivation as of late and, frankly, i feel like my skills have been lacking haha ^^;

Hi babes! ❤️ thank you so much for your question and I hope I answered everything right haha.

Honestly, I think it took me about 5-6 years I’d say to get where I’m at right now. I’m really bad at keeping progress so it may have been longer but I look back at my writings from even like 2 years ago and I think I improved a significant amount in terms of dialogue and with being more descriptive.

I think I realized I enjoyed writing when I was pretty young! I used to write fanfics when I was 14 on Wattpad lol. ( never posted them ) I’ve always loved reading so I think the transition between reading stories to writing my own was pretty natural and fast. Once I started reading more ( like around 10 to 12 years old ) I realized I loved making up stories in my head but I never actually wrote them down so once I tried to do that, I became addicted to just writing the ideas that crossed my mind. I’ve always been more of a character driven writer, I like focusing on the characters more so than the plot and their interactions are what I love writing most about.

I think I’ve been writing for about 6 years now! ( I started at 14 but I took a long break between the ages of 17-20 and I didn’t write much of anything during those years ) I really started taking it seriously when I turned 20 which was like almost 3 years ago, I became really immersed in building stories and plots, I started writing a lot of short stories that soon turned into more developed stories with more stable characters and backgrounds.

As for tips, I always feel weird about this because I think I’m a fairly new writer as well and I’m not fully confident in my writing yet either haha but I think one of the most important things is just writing a little every day. Even if you don’t feel motivated, pushing yourself to write even the smallest things regarding stories will help you subconsciously improve ! The more you write, the less it starts to feel like a chore and you slowly start to get into the habit of needing to write. I also encourage that if you find inspiration in anything, you write it down even if it doesn’t seem like it will go anywhere, I think writing ideas can always make room for more ideas to surface ! It keeps your head busy, even dreams if you can remember them. I also really advise to take things slow and write shorter paragraphs at a time even if you’re tempted to write a lot. I think writing shorter paragraphs keeps you more organized and focused on what you’re writing for the overall story and it prevents you from making more mistakes or overwriting. Also, don’t feel bad if you have been lacking motivation! I stopped writing completely for almost 4 years because I lost motivation and confidence but even the littlest things can make you jump back into writing if you truly have a passion for it. There’s nothing wrong with taking breaks if you feel burnt out, being in the right head space also has a lot do with motivation so I hope you take care of yourself ! Make sure to eat well, drink plenty of water and try to get significant rest. I hope this helped a little babes! ❤️🥰🙏🙏 have a lovely day.

[tagomago]

Hi! I love and 100% agree with your post about albums/Album Era. I even expressed the same sentiment in discussion with my gf a few weeks ago. I absolutely adore just laying back and playing an album from start to finish uninterrupted, really engaging with it and letting it wash over me.

Anyway! I wanted to ask if you could list your favorite albums (organized in any way you wish, by decade or by genre, whatever etc) and maybe if you have the interest/time maybe a blurb about why you love the album?

thank you so much ! Oh and I hope you a great day! :)

hi!! thank you so much!! i agree - it's so nice to just... actually take the time with music these days when it's so easy to let things pass you by or listen passively. i listen to music most of the time so i know sometimes it can just be background noise, but i do really love sitting down and engaging with it properly.

i'd love to!! i'll pop them under a read more because i'm pretty sure i'll start and won't stop lol. hope you have a great day too!!

okay so i’ve been doing the 1001 albums thing chronologically and i’m up to about 1970 right now so this’ll be very 60s-loaded i think but i’ll pull some of my favourites from after that as well!! i’ll do it by decade (even if the other ones i say by an artist might b outside that) :) i’ll write a little blurb for some just if i do for all i think it’ll get too long to post!

pre-1960

billie holiday - lady in satin. also really enjoy an evening with billie holiday!

miles davis - kind of blue. also bitches brew

1960s

bob dylan - the freewheelin’ bob dylan: i loveeee early 60s american folk music so i mean. yeah. i think it’s really well-rounded album in terms of the songs and i just really like all of them! also: highway 61 revisited and blood on the tracks

sam cooke - live at the harlem square club: this album knocked me out the first time i listened to it. the mood in that room is chilling they LOVE him and it’s brilliant. just so involving it’s one of the albums i’ll recommend to anyone i just think it’s phenomenal

otis redding - otis blue: so so so good!! im a big fan of his stones cover :)

the beatles - rubber soul: unfortunately i enjoy like all their albums but this might be the only one i’d pick as a favourite generally? i mean maybe not i do love a couple of others lotsss but my beatles album thoughts are for another time haha

beach boys - pet sounds. because it’s pet sounds <3 also surf’s up

vashti bunyan - just another diamond day

nina simone - wild is the wind: phenomenal album maybe her best in my opinion!! she’s so so brilliant every song she sings even if she didnt write it feels like her own. amazing :) also: here comes the sun

buffalo springfield again: i love buffalo soooo much this i just think is my favourite of their’s :) i just love their sound i love neil young and stephen stills and um. the other guys. all of their albums are brilliant and there r only three and i’d pick them all 🧡

norma tanega - walking my cat named dog

tim buckley - goodbye and hello: one of my go-tos vinyl wise... i just love it. i know he’s not obscure but i still feel like he’s underrated. i like feeling like im at the renaissance faire for half the album and feeling insane for the rest of it

love - forever changes

the moody blues - days of future passed

the velvet underground and nico (self-titled). also velvet underground (self-titled but minus nico lol)

leonard cohen - songs of leonard cohen: adoreeee leonard cohen his lyrics are so phenomenal and i think his melodies are wonderful and rlly understated. my favourite is either this, songs from a room or new skin for the old ceremony!

the kinks - the kinks are the village green preservation society: it’s great :) just such a fun album i really enjoy it. this and arthur by them!! that one i think is rlly well-rounded and i enjoy that it has a plot kinda

jimi hendrix - electric ladyland

simon & garfunkel - bookends. WONDERFUL album. like it feels like such a complete work of art to me. plus i cry at america always. also bridge over troubled water <3

the zombies - odessey and oracle

led zeppelin - led zeppelin i, led zeppelin iv

fairport convention - unhalfbricking: i’m english, like folk music and grew up in the countryside i kinda have to pick them. this is a great album i adoreee sandy denny

king crimson - in the court of the crimson king

frank zappa - hot rats

1970s

GEORGE HARRISON - ALL THINGS MUST PASS: i could write an essay on how much i love it. but i will not. i just think it’s a brilliant set of songs i love that he brought together a triple album and i think it’s such a showcase of his talent. awesome. plus i have the boxset so i love getting use out of it lol

crosby stills nash and young - deja vu: spectacular wonderful beautiful harmonies great set of songs love it to bits. also crosby stills and nash debut

nick drake - bryter layter, pink moon: he was so brilliant. both really beautiful in their own ways but i think pink moon is more cohesive. both phenomenal and i adore the instrumental moments in BL

paul mccartney - ram: aged great well done paul. the only solo album of his i really love sorry mccartneyheads. anyway such a fun album and yeah. indie pop

funkadelic - maggot brain

neil young - harvest, after the gold rush, everybody knows this is nowhere... and many more <3 i love his voice i love his writing

graham nash - songs for beginners

bruce springsteen - darkness on the edge of town. easily my favourite of his even if i dont think it’s his BEST but i do think it’s wonderful. i love to be emotional and listen to him i just sit there and absorb. also born to run and born in the usa and nebraska are probably my MAIN favourites of his

fleetwood mac - rumours

joni mitchell - blue, ladies of the canyon, song to a seagull. 

wings - band on the run

yusuf/cat stevens - tea for the tillerman

carole king - tapestry

steely dan - can’t buy a thrill: love to sit and chill with the sun out to this 👍 

david bowie - hunky dory. not the biggest bowie fan in the world but i do love this one!! i think it’s a really good album in my favourite time period of his. also the rise and fall of ziggy stardust

queen - queen ii. i think it’s a really interesting complete work for them and the songs are really good and not overplayed especially so i love it a lot!! i am partial to night at the opera, day at the races, sheer heart attack and news of the world though lol

marvin gaye - what’s going on. i think there’s a case to make that this is the best album of all time. not kidding

eagles - hotel california. makes me think of my dad so i like it <3

stevie wonder - songs in the key of life

joan armatrading self-titled - really brilliant such a lovely album. bought it on a whim knowing one song and it’s just such a beautiful album. and she’s such a great songwriter!!

1980s

traveling wilburys - traveling wilburys vol 1: just fun innit

the smiths - the queen is dead: first vinyl i ever bought! still really enjoy it. love all the songs and a good night-listen i think. also strangeways and hatful of hollow

talking heads - speaking in tongues. all these songs slap. great work thank you david byrne 👍 also remain in light

xtc - skylarking

new order - power corruption and lies. my new wave moment! really brilliant especially knowing the history of new order i think it’s phenomenal that they came out with this after ian curtis. 

kate bush - hounds of love

paul simon - graceland

tracy chapman - self-titled. definitely top 5 albums ever for me. so so wonderful and her voice and her writing... can’t describe how it makes me feel. love it to bits

1990s

modern life is rubbish - blur: LOVE THIS ONEEEE <3 im a britpop fan at heart and this one is so awesome. and such a showcase of the fact they were actually good (and better than oasis). such a great album lots of good songs and a really good overall feel to it i think. really obviously 60s influenced too i think which i like a lot! also parklife and self-titled

lauryn hill - the miseducation of lauryn hill. just phenomenal all round in terms of quality across the board

different class - pulp: best album of britpop no joke. i feel like it’s almost a concept album but not quite, so many good songs and such a brilliant immersive general feel to it. probably also top 5 for me...

mazzy star - so tonight i might see

daniel johnston - 1990

radiohead - ok computer. sorry for being cliche but it is so good. i forget how good it is. was my favourite album of all time up until a couple of years ago. i rank radiohead albums reallyyyy highly though i think they deliver nearly ever time in creating something fresh and interesting and cohesive. also the bends, in rainbows, kid a, moon-shaped pool. and all their others. 

dummy - portishead

pj harvey - rid of me

fiona apple - tidal. she’s so wonderful i think all of her albums are brilliant. her songwriting is amazing and i love to sit back and just take it all in. i really enjoy all her albums but i’d say my other favourites are when the pawn and the idler wheel. and boltcutters probably...

neutral milk hotel - in the aeroplane over the sea

the magnetic fields - 69 love songs

2000s

godspeed you black emperor - lift your skinny fists like antennas to heaven

life in cartoon motion - mika

whatever people say i am that’s what i’m not - arctic monkeys. also favourite worst nightmare. i am partial to suck it and see too but i wouldnt put it as a favourite maybe...

tallahassee - the mountain goats. sorry i love divorce and i think the lyrics are wonderful. really enjoy that tmg often have a theme across a whole album i think it’s awesome. i also love beat the champ i love the wrestling thing

outkast - stankonia

mcr - the black parade. lol

joanna newsom - ys. also have one on me

sufjan stevens - illinois. amazing. so many good songs and so brilliant as a whole album. i really enjoy the consistent theme and how purposefully the album feels like it was built :) also love carrie and lowell. 

the hoosiers - the trick to life. the first album i ever bought! such a great indie pop album all the songs are great and i do have a lot of nostalgia tied to it

lily allen - it’s not me it’s you. changed my life as a 10 year old honestly

amy winehouse - back to black

brian wilson - smile

2010s

fka twigs - magdalene: brilliant. i think fka is such a phenomenal artist and i think this whole album is so tied together and tight. it’s brilliant

mitski - bury me at makeout creek. also puberty 2 and be the cowboy

kendrick lamar - to pimp a butterfly. i think maybe the best album of the last ten years. i think how he incorporates all these different styles is amazing.

hozier self titled 

the last shadow puppets - everything you’ve come to expect. i just like it 👍 

lana del ray - born to die. sorry i suffer from been on tumblr since 2011 disease

courtney barnett - sometimes i sit and think and sometimes i just sit

yola - walk through fire

2020s

rina sawayama - sawayama

phoebe bridgers - punisher

okay kind of fell off towards the end there description wise but i have a lot of love in my heart and love a lot of music!! always changing but really i listen to a lot so i hope you don’t mind me listing so many... also it’s really obvious how much i dont listen to current things sorry </3 i’ll be working on it soon hopefully. i’m sure i’ve missed some too!! but these are just the ones that were immediately coming to mind. thank you so much for the question !!

[onewomancitadel]

Just wanted to say that you rule. I found out about you recently and have really been enjoying going through your stories. The memes and analyses on this page have been great too. Didn't ship Knightfall before (and frankly considered it a crackship for the longest time as is my smooth brained nature), but the romance and redemption going hand in hand does actually just Make Sense. Hope you had a good day, and failing that, a peaceful one.

Aw this was wonderful to open my inbox to see, thank you so much! <3

Thank you for this lovely ask, it's very kind of you to say so. I love finding a new fic author who scratches the itch and has a whole archive to read lol, my wish is to be that for other people. I'm interested if people find my fic interesting as well as my writings on Tumblr, because I'm sure it must seem like I'm neglecting my writing if I'm posting on Tumblr. XD

What are you reading now if you don't mind me asking?

Didn't ship Knightfall before (and frankly considered it a crackship for the longest time as is my smooth brained nature)

Oh yeah, we have had the crackship vs. rarepair debate before (and somewhere back September last year I responded to an ask by redhoodhungergames about Knightfall as a rarepair but I can't find it), and the linguistic evolution of conflating rarepair with crackship meanwhile crackships nevertheless take on fandom precedence due to panfandom baggage (e.g. searching to insert the same archetypes irrespective of canon context and pairing them together even if wholesale inventing most of the characterisation).

I think it's necessary to distinguish crackship from rarepair (and identify where crackships become popular, which gives them a guise of canonical legitimacy... lol) because I think both terms are descriptive and useful, and they really change the way you perceive a ship and a fandom and the way you treat other fans. As I mentioned in that ask I can't find to redhoodhungergames, Knightfall is actually very archetypically straightforward, it's just a bit opaque because the traditional enemies-to-lovers dynamic a lot of feminine fandom is into (which often involves a redemption arc, not an ambiguously villainous love interest in the sense of say, a femme fatale) doesn't map itself onto a female villainess and a male hero.

What I think is particularly interesting is that Knightfall in canon and conceived-of canon hits a lot of Romance-romance story beats, with the romance carrying narrative stakes. Whatever one might say about R/WBY romances, they are clearly pulling their thematic weight, which is the stuff I like. Romance needs the same sort of consideration as any other relationship or character development and that's why tying it to the plot and tying it to something as on-paper directly about character transformation as a redemption arc is incredibly organic. From a technical viewpoint it's actually clever but straightforward.

Where I think some of miscommunication might come from, say, the masculine end of the fandom - and I am generalising here, so please forgive me, and I am going off what I've gleaned over the years from The Subreddit (I shan't speak the name) and anons I get, as well as, er, narrative analysis at large from male fans - is that Romance-romance is not the same as a female love interest as boon for the male character. Now, say what you will about that, but I won't make any value judgements; rather, I would want to make a distinction between that (only boon for the hero in whatever fashion) and Romance-romance - romance tied to narrative stakes, character and plot, theme - which carries greater structural demands and greater emotional demands. There is also the Romance genre of literature, which itself does have its own conventions but not necessarily the selfsame ones we're looking at here (though they do crossover) where romance is beholden to something greater in the narrative as opposed to its own ends.

I do want to establish that I am not wholly opposed to the idea of narrative boon and sometimes there is a bit of baby-and-bathwater moment with these kinds of things; the problem (to me) often comes from the female love interest being little more than a cardboard cutout, which is also a problem of just bad storytelling lol. I think that Romance-romance still does serve that purpose of narrative boon, it's just two-way, and especially for R/WBY where Jaune and Cinder are both perspective characters.

The common refrain I have encountered is that 'It's too complicated,' or, 'The R/WBY writers aren't that smart,' or that whatever else I'm identifying is a waste of time. Of course, it's not too complicated: it's actually incredibly straightforward, and is actually a great way to realise character, plot, and theme, and also tie character arcs together in a sensible way. What I bemoan is the idea that basic narrative tools are complicated. The next is that I think they have sufficiently demonstrated to have ideas and that is interesting to me. I also think that the show uses basic tools of storytelling in a successful way. I also think that some of the criticism I've seen is not necessarily criticism I actually agree with because to come to some of those conclusions you need to ignore basic narrative tools and invent your own canon. So it goes.

But if I'm told that a love story is at the centre of the show and is a major reveal for how the heroes need to handle the threat in the story, I am going to be looking for love stories. Lol. That's why I talk a lot about ships I don't even ship and try to identify them (and also to demonstrate that this type of thing doesn't involve ship goggles, or at least, it doesn't have to, and in fact my enthusiasm for Knightfall comes from what I perceive to be true). Also because I think figuring out what they're doing is interesting. Also also because I've seen so many Ruby/Oscar shippers get a bad rap for shipping the most... non-controversial ship ever. Come on. There's not even any murder.

but the romance and redemption going hand in hand does actually just Make Sense.

I just typed all of that out before I reread the rest of your sentence. Anyway. Nodding and agreeing with each other. You get it lol

I think it also makes sense because we've had so many pairs of two for redemption arcs (including one... kind of romantic on Ilia's side, and for the conceivable Emerald/Mercury... WELL) and so I would want to know what major relationship Emerald/Mercury should also be foreshadowing because they're secondary characters who accidentally main cast (or, rather, cast upgrade comes with the redemption. Lol). I would also want to know what canon relationship might look the most like a 'solved' Ozlem. But yes, the pairs of two is rather suspicious. I don't know. I sort of expected at some point I would come to a position of doubt or the canon evidence would become increasingly less in favour of Knightfall (let's say, the apparent overtures might be identifiable, but when you get into the nitty gritty, and see that x or y doesn't line up, so on) but it seems not, which means my emotional investment only continues to build. Lol

I apologise for dragging you down with me lolololol. It's a bit of fun. Thanks again for your ask, it really brightened my day.

[niennandil-me-writes]

Fragments of a Cybernetic Mind: Chapter 6 - We've Been Here Before

Summary Half a year has passed since the events of Christmas of 2064. The world is slowly adjusting to sentient ROMs. But Turing is distracted from their task as ROM-kind’s leader and ambassador by another obligation they carry. They want to deliver Leon Dekker’s last words to his daughter. But first, they’ll have to find her, which doesn’t prove easy. They ask their journalist friend for help, who seems less than thrilled.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 (final) Epilogue

[Content Notes: This chapter features some heavy gore and very graphic descriptions of violence. A plot summary is included in the end notes in ao3 for everyone who wants to skip on it. It starts gradual and becomes more intense, so feel free to take a break or skip down at any moment. Additional more specific content notes are there as well (I'd usually put them directly here, but in this case to prefer to leave you the option to get surprised). Please take care.]

The digital clock shows 3:25 am. I should be sleeping. Instead, I am sitting on the couch, bathed in the cold light of my laptop, a cup of coffee on the table in front of me. I tried out one of the VR experiences Ramona gave me. A walk through a forest. But even though it was calming, I still couldn’t sleep. So I might as well get some work done. Typing, scanning data, taking notes. I don’t get anything done. 3:43. The lines blur in front of my eyes.

My eyes wander to the VR helmet on the table. I hesitate. But maybe that will let me find something I have overlooked so far. Help me get closer. So I take the helmet and connect it to my laptop. Put it over my head. Play a memory.

The view the goggles offer me is almost as dark as my living room. My eyes need a moment to adjust to the artificial memory. It’s so unlike the VR I experienced that evening. Everything seemed so real there, I could feel the rain dripping down on my skin and the sun on my arms, hear the wind rustling through trees, could taste autumn air. Here, everything seems muted, like through a veil. I lift the helmet and check the plug, the system, but everything seems to be working well.

I return to the memory. I hear a buzzing, a humming, a hammering like drums in the distance. What memory is this? I forgot to check.

Then I see the metal, the glowing of electricity. Smoke on the floor, around my – no his – feet.

I know where this is!

I try to take off the helmet, but I can’t move. I’m frozen. But I move. Stepping through Parallax’ server room. Hunting. Hunting myself. I need to get out! I need to – I need to –

I need to find you. But that can wait for a while. In the end, I am glad I didn’t kill you when I had the chance. You proved worth our while. Leading me exactly where I needed to go, finding the clues so I didn’t have to. You might as well have pointed a finger at all the people that I needed to kill. One should think someone this skilled in investigative journalism would have seen it coming. Then again, maybe you did. Maybe to you I was – how did the ROM put it? A calculated risk.

Well, it doesn’t matter now. You miscalculated. I can practically smell your fear in the air, hear your hammering heart even beyond the sizzling and buzzing of the electronics. I take a step in the opposite direction. Now that my cloaking emitter is fried, the ROM is no doubt tracking every step I take for you. I hope they do. Maybe I can actually get you to believe you might survive this. It makes the whole deal oh so much sweeter, like just another spoonful of honey in the tea my mother used to make. It’s the closest approximation I can get to that taste.

I’m enjoying every second of this, my mind racing with all the things I want to do to you, even as I tell you my little story. You are probably piecing everything together yourself right now. But that is bound to lack real pathos, all the best details missing. Like how Zinn’s body felt against my arm as I pushed her out the window of her own office. The surprise mixed with pain in Otsuka’s eyes, mirrored in his computer screen, as I drove the knife through his back. The look on your face as I ran over Nonya. The way his guts looked spread out across the street. You just can’t imagine it. Well,you can with that last one, you were there for that. 

But you aren’t sharing your thoughts, which is just too sad. Just as you aren’t telling me what you think of my plan to rip out your entrails and wear them like a scarf. Maybe that was a bit overdramatic, but beggars can’t be choosers and I am positively starving for some violence. I haven’t even told you yet that I intend for you to be alive during that part, but you will find out soon enough.

A door snaps shut just in front of me. Getting nervous? A chuckle escapes my metal throat. Those metal walls aren’t a problem for me. I could tear through them like paper. But where would the fun be in this if I just revealed that I know exactly where you are and can get there in seconds? I’ll let you keep hoping. 

I walk past the wall and continue the story. Then again… I can’t let you feel too safe. Why not show you what I’m capable of? Stimulate your imagination a bit. I walk straight ahead. My sensors catch something to my left. I turn. Walk faster. The metal screeches as it gives way around me.

And there you are. Cowered in a corner. Your hands clutching the zapper so tightly that your knuckles turn white as chalk. You scream.

(I scream)

And it’s music to my ears. Promises of what is to come. Are you even aware of screaming? Do you know what I am about to do to you? The first shot misses. Hands trembling violently. Have you ever shot at anyone before?

I push those thoughts to the side for later, and leap at you. The next shot hits my face. I laugh as I fall to the ground. Your footsteps running away. I heave myself up. The door in front of me closes. You really still think that will stop me?

I touch my hand to my face, where the zapper peeled off even more of my synthetic skin, revealing the metal grin beneath. It barely hurts, just a sting. But oh, does it feel good. It increases my appetite even more. What a wonderful toy you are. Anyone else would have given up by now. But you have guts. I like that in a victim. Can’t wait to rip them out of your body.

Maybe you, too, find this situation exciting, albeit in a different way? You enjoyed your little detective play, and what better climax to that than a hide and seek game with a homicidal android? Maybe that’s what the glint I spotted in your eye means. Maybe, after a life of mediocrity, you enjoy being the center of attention, people dying because of you, and you being the only one left to solve the case. Maybe deep down, you are as fucked up as me. Or maybe that’s just me projecting.

I chuckle to myself. Continue our little game. After that shot, you deserve your reward, so I keep on telling the tale, rattling off the facts about Fairlight and Big Blue and yadda yadda… to be honest, I don’t really care. Oh, it pays the bills alright, and I prefer to keep it that way, but in the end, I don’t really care about the politics. Turing’s crazy idea about turning all robots sentient is nothing but a welcome excuse to wreck shit. Isn’t it nice when things work out like that?

Another door closes next to me. Slowly I’m getting impatient.

“Like how you feel about doing journalism? It’s all that matters to you”, I say. “That’s how I feel about murder.”

A whimper, just around the corner. You made a mistake and you are just now realizing it. 

Turning, I charge at you at the speed of sound. You lift the gun, pull the trigger. No shot rings out.

(Wait)

You are out. 

(That is not what happened!)

In a pathetic last attempt, you fling the weapon at me. It bounces right off my body, tearing some more skin off. I don’t care. I’ll have to make some replacements after I’m done here anyways. 

I grab you by the throat. The ROM charges at me, but I just kick the little shit into the wall. Metal crashes against metal, the little body explodes in a flash of electricity. It’s beautiful. But not as beautiful as your pale face in front of mine.

(This didn’t happen! This is not what happened! I try to get out. I scream, but all that comes over my lips is – )

“Now let the real game begin,” I grin into your face, which is slowly turning blue as I increase the pressure on your throat. I won’t deny, if I still had the necessary parts, this sight would seriously turn me on right now. But I won’t finish you off just yet, no, that would be boring.

I let go and you fall to the floor, gasping for air, hand clasped to your throat. As soon as your lungs are filled with oxygen again, you crawl away, trying to get to your feet. But I am infinitely faster. My boot meets your leg. A wet crunching sound. A scream. How beautiful. Seeing how well you did so far on your little adventure makes it all the sweeter to see you reduced to a small helpless mess on the floor.

I lift my foot off your broken leg. A piece of bone is piercing the skin. I crouch down, grab it and twist until it comes out. Screams turn into whimpers at your lips, which then turns into silence. You’re fainting, as is to be expected. But I’m not letting you fade away just yet. I slap your face, again and again, shake you, until your eyes flutter open again.

“Wakey, wakey,” I grin. “Time for your nightmare.”

Reflexively, you try to jump up. A hiss of pain as you try to move your useless leg. I pin you to the floor and use your own bloodied bone to tear through your shirt and the skin beneath, stabbing it into your stomach. 

“please...” Your voice is barely another whimper.

I grab your head. “What is it, sweetie? You want to beg for your life? Maybe if you ask nicely, I’m gonna let you live? After all, I could still get you out of here, to the next hospital? But we both know, it ain’t gonna happen. As much as I would like to hear you beg, see you grovel in front of me, it just can’t be done. You know too much.”

You don’t answer. You don’t even scream anymore. But I know you can feel everything. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

My fingers grip your hair, holding your head in place while I continue to rummage through your body with my other hand. Your ribcage is lying open now, bones looking out of your flesh. Blood and parts of organs splattered on the floor. It looks like an abstract painting, one of those Yannick has hanging in his villa. For a silly moment, I consider taking a picture for him, but quickly discard the idea. That would be evidence. And anyways, the view is already burned into my memory disks, where I can retrieve it whenever I feel like it, whenever I feel bored and need some nice distraction to put a smile on my face.

It is making me smile right now, and that makes me notice the blood on my lips. I can’t taste it, naturally, but my sensors tell me everything I need to know, adrenaline levels and suchlike. Almost like eating candy. Or the closest I can come to that.

I run my fingers through your hair, almost tenderly. Unwanted memories of my wife resurface, of stroking her hair like that. Instead of pushing them away like I usually do, I dwell on them for a little. Getting excited at the dying stranger’s hair in my hands is as close as I can get to that past sensation. Your hair turns into her hair, your face into hers. Closest approximation and all that.

My touch doesn’t stay gentle for long, though. I yank you up by the hair, pulling you off the ground. Your entrails are spilling on the floor. I let go and you stay standing up for just a second before I place a punch into the gaping hole in your stomach. You sprawl to the floor. Barely alive now. Time to decide how best to end this.

I grab your guts from the floor, and, climbing on top of you, wrap them around myself and then around your neck and start pulling. It’s almost like a hug, or the closest approximation or whatever - enough of this sentimental bullshit. I tighten the grip. Organic fiber tears, your eyes flutter, you don’t even struggle anymore.

(I watch myself die, unable to do anything. It’s not the first time.)

I tear another bone from your ribcage, stab at you with it, rip your hair out, squash your eyes until they explode between my fingers, I yank your arm out of its socket. I tear out your heart and take a bite I can neither taste nor swallow.

That’s how they find me. 

I knew I was forgetting something. Your friend from the police escaped, calling backup. Even so, I could have gotten away, if I hadn’t gotten so lost in our fun.

But seeing the cop lady walk in just as I am led out in handcuffs, seeing her face as she looks at your body (or what remains of it), hearing her uncontrolled sobs, her gibberish as she falls to the floor, it makes it all worth it. Who knows... Maybe now Wilson Dekker will finally be allowed to die. And what a hell of a last day it has been.

[renegadewangs]

Hi!! I just finished The Legendary Pair and I can't even begin to word how amazing I thought it was. I will definitely come back with a (hopefully) well-written review sometime soon. But just know that I ADORED it so much. I haven't stopped thinking about it!! <3

I do have questions about your writing process though, if that's okay? I find it difficult to figure out a plot for my stories (I usually tend to get what kind of vibe I want the story to have first thing before anything else, so it's difficult for me to hash out an actual plot lol), so I was wondering how you'd go about figuring that out, if that's also a problem you have? And do you tend to outline or do you just wing it? If you do outline, how do you organize your thoughts?

Hope you have an amazing day!! :)

Hello anon! Oh gosh, thank you so much! I'm honestly honored people are still finding and enjoying The Legendary Pair to this day. It's something that I technically finished years ago, and then picked back up for two bonus chapters last year just to honor the localization. I'm really glad you liked it!

About my writing process, it's kind of all over the place. I tend to let my mind wander (usually in the shower, while I'm taking a long drive or when I'm trying to fall asleep) and what will happen is that I'll start to envision scenes. Those scenes then get pieced together with other scenes, until eventually I have the bare bones for a fic. From that point on, it's just a matter of keeping my attention on this particular narrative so I can start fleshing it all out chronologically and fill in the gaps. I do outline any scene/plot ideas I have in a Word document, along with a rough timeline of what will need to happen when to make the whole story flow. Some scenes come easier to me than others, because some will be the ones that came to me while my mind was wandering, while others exist purely as 'bridges' to connect these scenes. I know from a logical standpoint I'll need these bridges, so I try and convince myself to envision those instead. Sometimes as I'm writing, because I'll still have a vague idea of what needs to happen and I just need to write dialogue/actions around that. Full disclosure, hyper fixation has helped me a lot with this. I've noticed that once I fall off a certain fic wagon because my focus has moved on to other stories or fandoms, it's very hard for me to get back into that fic and finish it. Either I crank it all out while I'm in the fixation zone, or it'll likely become an unfinished project. Alas. Anyway, I hope that helps you!

[thetoadghoul]

Volunteering: (Ohtani x Reader) <333 (Part - 2)

part 1!

plot: Wednesday’s game arrives which Ohtani invited you to, some bonding time before the first pitch <3 slowwwburn, long cause idk details are fun lol

Wednesday quickly arrived, made much faster by the crazy amount of work you were required to do for your ‘actual’ job. The last three days had been spent with you running around the LA area, as well as cyberspace, to serve your role as interpreter. It was hell, for more reasons than one. The biggest of all being that even though you were not in Japan at the moment, you were still required to wear a proper suit. That meant a tight navy skirt, stockings, and some blasted heels. Sexist men, long meetings, and endless paperwork aside, you enjoyed your job for the most part - but this aspect really wore on you. However, the pain in your feet wouldn't damper your excitement for tonight’s game. Today you were not actually volunteering at the Angels stadium.

The day before yesterday, when you were actually volunteering, a bashful Ohtani had tapped you on the back while you were picking up baseballs from the batting cages. When you turned around the giant man was holding out a lanyard with an attached document, marked ‘VIP Guest of Player’. It took all you had not to let your hands shake with nerves as you reached out and grabbed it gingerly.

“Uh, see you on Wednesday.” The man looked to the side awkwardly, running a hand through his hair.

“...Yeah.” You responded with a small smile, feeling stupid, but it was all you could think of.

“Well, uh, I better go...” He motioned behind his back with a lazy thumb, staring to jog backward.

You nodded quickly, rushing to go back to picking up balls before you said something super lame, or weird.

It wasn’t till you were on the way home did you take a look at the back of the stadium pass. It read ‘Guest of Shohei Ohtani’. So he had put in the request for you, that was just like him, so kind. It would be an understatement to say you weren’t excited for tomorrow.

-----

Currently, your heart was still racing, but for another reason other than a certain super cute and insanely talented baseball player. It was because it was almost three-thirty in the afternoon and you were running around your company-provided apartment, trying to get ready as fast as you could. Ippei let you know you should get there around four-thirty, by then the team would have been done warming up and starting to enjoy a pregame meal while the away team got the field to themselves. From that point onwards, pretty much everyone was free to relax in the clubhouse till just before the first pitch.

With little time to consider, not even enough time to take a shower after having just got off work, you went with an oversized red T-shirt, baggy jeans, and some cool Jordan’s. This was your go-to, and it was comfortable. You don’t have many clothes anyway, living out of a suitcase.

Right as you were about to run out of the door you remembered to grab your standard Angels cap, it had been provided to you as part of your volunteer uniform a while back, slipping it on over your tight work bun. You would let your hair down later.

All right, everything was in order, Uber scheduled, lanyard secured.

It took about half an hour to arrive at the stadium, and once it came into view, you instructed the driver to let you out in front of the ballpark entrance. It had been a long time since you got to go through the gates as a member of the audience, it actually gave you a wave of nostalgia seeing everyone in their gear, so hyped up for the game, tailing gating outside for what was probably hours.

Once you were through, you started walking through the concession stands and various other stalls, dodging around the fans that were already inside watching the warm-ups, as well as hanging out drinking and eating. There were pictures of Ohtani everywhere, people taking turns snapping pictures of each other in front of the various cutouts of him. The air was buzzing with energy, and it seemed like all for that guy. Honestly, you had worked for a couple different teams over the years, but you had never seen hype like this. It was surreal, seeing a legend in the making.

You smiled, gripping the lanyard around your neck, making your way through the stadium. Shohei was super nice to do this for you, really, you should show him your support. Maybe a quick peek in the team store would do? Plus, you deserved to spend some money on yourself. After all, this was the first time you had really been ‘out’ in the almost three months you had been in California. Your free time was either working, volunteering, video games, or sleep.

You took a couple moments in the Angel's merch shop, quietly perusing the aisles, keeping an eye out for any Ohtani-themed items. Unfortunately, there weren’t really that many, probably sold out by the fans. What was there, was way too small for you.

“Y/n, you here to watch the game?” A young voice sounded.

When you turned to see who addressed you, a familiar girl was standing there grinning.

“Hey Jordan! I didn’t know you were working tonight.” You grinned back.

Jordan worked at the store as a stock manager, she was close in age to you so the two of you often hung out. You had invited her over a couple times, both bonding over your love for crappy reality TV, beer, and of course, baseball.

“Yeah it was last minute, a girl was feeling sick and there wasn’t anyone else cept’ me.” She sighed.

“Bummer, text me if you need help?” You offered, to which she waved you off.

“Nah, you enjoy being here and NOT working.” She chuckled, walking over to organize a messy shelf.

“So, you looking for something in particular?” The girl glanced over her shoulder.

“Uh yeah, you recommend any cool Ohtani stuff? Or is there any at all... seems wiped clean in here.” You said while looking around.

“Ohtani? You here to cheer him on too then. Wanna catch his eye.” She teased.

“Don’t say it like I’m just here for my like, prince charming.” You snapped back playfully, but, maybe a little too fast.

“Aren’t you?” She pressed with an eyebrow.

“Okay, I’m leaving.” You pouted, fake walking away.

“I’m just kidding, actually, stay here for a second I might have something you’ll like.” Jordan yelled as she jogged off to the back room behind the counters.

You did as you were told and when she came back there was a large white Angels jersey in her hands.

“Ta-da!” She grinned, twisting it around to show the player’s name on the back.

“Oh, it’s in Kanji? That’s cool, I didn’t know these existed?” You questioned, running your finger over the ‘tani’ character of Ohtani.

“It’s the last one on the floor, had to grab it off the mannequin. Hope it’s not too big? It’s XL?” She questioned, passing it to you to hold.

“Nah it’s perfect, can’t you tell.” You joked holding the jersey next to you, while you showed off your oversized clothes.

“Figured it'd be fine, wanna get rung up? I’ll give you that ‘good good’ employee discount. But, don’t tell anyone.” She smiled, heading to the register, to which you nodded and jogged after her.

After you finished your purchase and waved bye to Jordan, it was time to head to the clubhouse. It was around five, so you were later than you planned but Shohei usually practiced batting in the cages a little while longer while everyone headed in. Slipping the plastic shopping bag into your purse, and ripping the tags off your new jersey, you slipped it on over your T-shirt, smoothing out the material as best you could. It felt great to finally have some real merch from the team, and part of you sort of wondered what Ohtani would think when he saw you. Hopefully, it wasn’t too much to just show up in his gear after he pretty much randomly invited you, let alone in the stadium-specific one, as you just learned from your colleague.

After you got to an employee-only doorway, you pushed on it hoping it was actually open. Ippei had also let you know via text that it would be unlocked for you. Another kindness of Shohei, not just inviting you, but making sure you had access to all the catering and AC inside the resisted area of the building. You slipped in and locked the door behind you, not wanting to encourage some intoxicated fans to follow. The hallway was empty and cool as you started making your way to the clubhouse.

You were admittedly a bit nervous by the time you got to the doors, feeling a bit awkward about strutting in as anyone other than a volunteer for the first time. Carefully you pushed open the door, making sure not to hit anybody. The room was full of chatter, some players eating, some playing cards, others watching TV on the room's monitors. You looked around for Ohtani, but he wasn’t there yet apparently. No matter, you strolled in and went for the snack area. Truthfully you hadn’t eaten since that morning, and that was just a toasted bagel. Turning your back to the rest of the room, you began filling up your plate with cocktail shrimp and grapes.

“Nice jersey.” Ippei said, coming up next to you, grabbing small sandwiches for his plate.

“Is that sarcastic?” You questioned with a smile, finishing your plate.

“Nah, I’m sure he likes it.” Ippei jerked his head to the left.

He? You leaned back to see around the man, meeting Shohei’s surprised face almost immediately. Had he been standing there the whole time? He had obviously been staring at your back, at his name, bashfully looking up to your face when you moved, blinking a couple times to clear his eyes.

“I uh, got it ten minutes ago.” You grinned awkwardly, pointing your thumb proudly at the jersey, hoping he wouldn’t think you were a weirdo.

The large player didn’t say anything, blinking more slowly this time before opting to just nod gently, with a quick “thanks for your support”, hurriedly leaning forward to start filling his plate with all kinds of foods.

—-

Once everyone had their food the three of you found a place to sit while you ate, it was at the back of the room away from the noise, and where the two usually sat before a game anyways. A small conversation started while the three of you ate calmly.

“Why... do you only have grapes, and shrimp?” Ohtani questioned suddenly, looking at your plate baffled. You looked down at it as well, pausing for a moment trying to find out what was so weird about that.

“Uh, well, it’s because... these things are... super expensive in Tokyo. It’s like a rich person food to me.” You smiled, eating a couple shrimps happily.

“Wow. That’s so sad.” Ippei chuckled before taking a bite of his sandwich.

Shohei on the other hand burst out laughing at your response, making you laugh a bit too at your pitiful confession.

“Seriously, I feel like a mega-rich, and very posh, Ginza lady right now - eating nothing but shrimp and fruit. So fancy right? ” You exclaimed, popping a grape in your mouth.

The Japanese player laughed even harder, tears building up as he wiped his eyes.

“Those people wouldn’t touch that stuff with a three-meter stick.” Ippei stated, letting out a small laugh.

“Just let me have my moment.” You pouted through a smile, shoving more shrimp in your mouth.

The other man calmed down finally and was now sitting there smiling while he ate.

“So, fancy y/n, are you okay to sit in the dugout tonight. Not too unrefined for you?” Ippei questioned with a smirk.

“That’s, allowed?” You asked, surprised.

“Yeah, if you want to. Can’t stay there the whole time, but.” The man responded nonchalantly, shrugging his shoulders.

“It’s the best place to hear, ‘the surprise’.” Shohei added, food in the process of being shoved in his mouth.

“Well, doesn’t seem like there’s any other option.” You smiled at the player, who nodded in acknowledgment.

“He’s batting first tonight, you won’t have to wait long.” Ippei spoke, starting on the next sandwich.

“Hope me being in there won’t be bad luck.” You joked.

“You believe in that?” Ippei smirked.

“My family ingrained it into me, wasn’t allowed to watch a single super bowl game in the living room till I literally moved out.” You frowned, stabbing a grape.

“Harsh.” The man smirked with a small laugh under his breath.

“You will be good luck, for sure.” Shohei leaned forward in a hunch to take another bite of food, smiling sincerely at you as he looked up from his food.

“Then, I will see to it that will become a very good omen. Please believe in me.” You responded in the highest form of keigo you knew, bowing rigidly from your seat for comedic effect. Since you never studied that level of grammar, it was really freaking bad, causing the two men to laugh again.

“You’re funny.” Ippei chuckled.

“Yeah, and your Japanese is so good though?” Shohei exclaimed, eyebrows raised, eyes wide.

“Nah it’s pretty bad, I fell off the study wagon a long time ago.” You laughed awkwardly, waving a hand in front of your face.

“You’d be there forever if you stayed on.” Ippei chuckled again, while Shohei nodded in sullen agreement.

“Writing would be nice though, having to look up every other kanji at the doctor's office, or like city hall makes me literally sweat, like, a lot. Buckets. But when I look around, I'm the only one.” You giggled.

“You’re so honest.” Shohei chuckled, wiping his mouth with a napkin, still leaning forward in his chair, you grinned back at him. Your eyes locked for a while, you had never noticed, but his eyelashes were sort of long.

At that moment Ippei had to take a call, letting the two of you know he’d be back in a bit, walking off. The two of you looked away and finished eating in silence.

When you looked up from your empty plate, the large player was now staring at you with a soft expression. The warmth in his eyes made you blush, he didn’t even break his gaze once he was caught like he usually did. You responded back to him simply with a shy smile, before being the one to avert your own eyes to the floor again.

Thankfully at that moment, a group of Angels came over, slapping the Japanese man on the back, starting up a conversion. They were going over strategies for the game and overall just getting hyped up. You didn’t have much to input, so you just kind of sat there enjoying the excited chatter. Shohei smiled merrily the whole time, inserting little jokes, completely affected by their excitement. The way he carried himself really reminded you that the essence of baseball was really just about having fun with your teammates and giving it your all. He looked simply happy to be there, and it made you smile too, just watching him goof off. It was charming to see his duality of being a just big kid with endless laugher, versus the super-serious, and seasoned player he was on the mound.

You were really trying hard not to but, you were rapidly developing feelings for Shohei. The last three months of volunteering here, you of course thought he was really cute and kind, classic boyfriend material. A simple crush, like many of the girls working around him, surely had as well. However the possibility of you two actually dating had always been a foreign concept, one which stopped you from even considering it, at all, you just didn’t know if you even could. With you both traveling for work, how would there be time? Plus, what about the media? His family? Yours? All those things seemed unscalable walls, that is, until this moment, when you could feel his gentle eyes on you once again.

Maybe, there was something? Or maybe, he was just a super nice guy, and you were treated no different than anyone else.

When you snapped out of your thoughts, Shohei was starting to stand up, grabbing everyone’s empties plates. He reached his hand towards you, asking for the one in your hand with a tiny nod of his head, to which you thanked him, stood up, and handed it over.

Well.

Either way, you were so screwed.

-------

Hope you enjoyed! <3

[kallypsowrites]

Shadow and Bone and a Clash of Story Genres

So. I’m a writer. You all know this. And I recently read a book called Save the Cat Writes a Novel. It’s about how to structure the plot and character of a novel and its very helpful if you’re the kind of person who struggles with outline. i don’t struggle with outlining but still enjoyed it.

Anyway, at one point the author discusses these ten ‘story genres’. It isn’t genres like fantasy, sci fi, horror etc. Instead it has to do with how the plot structure is set up--who the character is, what problem they face, and how to overcome it.

There are two specific genres that stuck out to me here.

1. Institutionalized: In which a character becomes a part of (or grows up in) a family, group, society, system etc. They must decide whether to join it, change it or burn it down.

2. Super hero: In which a character discovers they are extraordinary in an “ordinary” (ordinary does not mean non magical) world and must embrace this power to save the day.

Fun fact, Shadow and Bone is listed in this novel as an example. And its listed under the Super Hero genre. And that’s when it struck me why I have such a problem with Shadow and Bone. Because it IS a superhero story...but it uses the elements of an institutionalized story for flavor while never actually delivering on these elements.

More under the cut...

All righty. So. First. A quick rundown of these genres.

In the ‘Superhero genre’ (according to this book) there are three requirements:

1. A power...bestowed upon your hero that sets them apart

2. A nemesis... who directly opposes your hero and who possesses equal or even greater power, but who is the self-made version of the hero and lacks the faith to truly be “the one”.

3. A curse... for the hero to overcome or succumb to as the price for who they are and which makes your hero relatable to us as mere mortals.

In the ‘Institutionalized genre’ on the other hand, we have these requirements:

1. A group a family, organization, business, community or uniting issue that is interesting

2. A choice: an ongoing conflict between the naif (the newcomer) and the company man (who embodies the group) usually revolving around the question to join or not to join/stay or not to stay.

3. A sacrifice leading to one of three possible endings: Join, burn it down, or escape.

You can see how the Grishaverse toys with both of these genres. For the superhero genre.

1. Power= sun summoning

2. Nemesis=darkling

3. Curse= the shadow fold for which Alina must sacrifice her powers.

For the institutionalized genre its more shaky.

1. A group: The grisha

2. A choice: Does Alina stay to help the grisha or nah?

3. A sacrifice: Alina gives up her powers in order to...escape? Its unclear. We’ll talk about it.

Clearly the story fits better into the superhero genre than the institutionalized genre. Though I think it also fails on that level but we’ll get to that in a sec.

The problem is that the first book really sets itself up like an institutionalized genre. Alina is ushered into an oppressed group and she faces the choice of whether to embrace her powers or stay rooted in the past. She starts to choose one option, but then Baghra comes in with the reveal and she escapes. She ends up sacrificing the people on the skiff (in the book) and runs away.

The big problem is that the next two books do not follow up on any of these themes. It doesn’t focus on the Grisha as a group and how they’re oppressed by a larger system. The system itself and the oppression of the Grisha doesn’t change much via Alina’s sacrifice. The fold is gone as is the Darkling but the Grisha are left basically where they started. And most importantly, Alina rarely makes active choices. For instance, her biggest choice in the first book is basically made for her by Baghra.

And the other big problem is...I WANTED it to be an institutionalized narrative. I know this is a personal preference, but all of the story’s most interesting themes initially came from this idea of Alina being ushered into this new group/society and having to decide her place within it. Institutionalized narratives are great and leave room for a lot of complex themes. And Leigh hinted at those themes but then gave us a completely different kind of story.

But the books don’t work well as a superhero narrative either. For one thing, Alina’s sacrifice to get rid of the “Curse” (the Fold) doesn’t make much sense and isn’t well foreshadowed. She also doesn’t make the CHOICE to sacrifice her powers and therefore its less satisfying. And her “nemesis” the big bad, has the primary goal of...trying to make a place for an oppressed group. 

But okay, if he’s fighting to save the Grisha but going about it the wrong way, that means our hero Alina SHOULD be positioned as the one who will ultimately save the Grisha. Except for she has little investment in the Grisha cause and her getting rid of the fold actually doesn’t change much for them. So......guess we don’t have that.

I think the reason that the grisha trilogy falls short is because it introduces the themes, world building and antihero of an institutionalized narrative...but then forces them into a superhero plot structure. And in doing so, it fails to really be either.

Anyway, that’s my story structure rant for the day. Hope you all enjoyed

[baku-bowl]

broke 1,000 followers (the fuck? I don't even make content people), so decided to write up a list of some (but not all, I'll make other lists later) of my favorite Bakugou-centric fic recs. my tastes run towards hurt/comfort, as you'll probably figure from the list. if there are some Baku-centric fics that you've enjoyed that aren't on here, please add them - this is definitely not a complete list of the ones I've read and love, but I'm always up for some recs. <3

fair warning, most of these are wips.

------------------------------------------------

Social Media 101 by WindsChild8178

Part 1: Survival Guide to Fucking Up

[Solely Bakugou’s point of view]

Katsuki Bakugou doesn’t have a gentle bone in his body. He’s aggressive in everything he does and does everything with 100% of his heart in it. After the Sport’s Festival, Katsuki starts to get harassed by strangers for his unheroic demeanor. It starts with letters but it doesn’t end there. The moment Katsuki realizes the harassment has entered dangerous territory and he needs to tell someone, it’s already too late.

Part 2: Post Traumatic Life Disorder

[Point of View opens up to Bakugou, teachers and classmates]

When the Dorms are finally built, everyone is settling in well, but things become tense as people begin to realize something isn’t right with the recently rescued Bakugou.

[Cannon compliant right up to after the License Exam]

hands down my favorite fic in the fandom right now. it’s the one that converted me into a Bakugou lover. if you have any fondness for Bakugou as a character then it’s likely you’ve read this one already, but if not, I can’t recommend it enough. incredibly depressing, but with the hope that comfort is coming soon in the next few chapters.

The Kids Will Be Alright, Eventually by NotWithThatAttitude

Bakugou is spiraling in the aftermath of Kamino and his friends are starting to notice. He's stubborn, aggressively independent, and less than willing to dig into his past, but after a breakdown that ends with a painful secret revealed, he starts to get help.

Whether he likes it or not.

Meanwhile, a new kind of villain threatens an uneasy peace following the loss of Allmight. Whispers build as a new narrative slowly takes shape:

Hero society needs to change.

Feat. Therapy, Dadzawa, best boy Kirishima, dysfunctional families, healing, growing up, and the mortifying ordeal of being known

guys.. the medical accuracy of this fic is just... *chef’s kiss*

I rarely see mental health genuinely handled well in fics, but this one goes above and beyond. kudos to the author for doing such excellent research into psychology, and making the application of it in here not-boring. also, while this one does have abusive!Mitsuki, it’s done in a way that feels realistic, and how I usually will see it occur in real life, rather than just for the hurt/comfort feels.

fair warning, the fic can be incredibly triggering (themes of severe depression, PTSD, panic attacks, rape survival, abuse survival, suicidal ideation/attempted suicide, among other things), so be safe and heed the tw’s if you decide to read. legitimately one of my Top Favorite fics in this fandom.

Lock and Key by autochorystalize

Bakugou made a choked, gravelly noise before croaking out a low, “You can’t be serious.” His fingers ached to blow up everything in the room.

“I’m sorry, young man, but you can’t change reality! This sometimes happens.” Recovery Girl clicked through his file, adding a new symbol in a previously empty slot.

- - -

A pair of eyes discreetly locked on to an explosive blond plowing his way forward, parting people in his path. He recognized the kid, of course. Anyone in the underbelly of society would recognize him, after the publicity of both UA’s Sports Festival and the events leading up to All Might’s fall. The uniform he was wearing cast away any doubts about the young man’s identity.

It was a bit of a surprise that the little firecracker presented as an omega.

- - - - - - - - -

Or: there are certain types of evil that seemed too distant, archaic violations and perversions that would never actually threaten bright-eyed heroes-in-training in the clean, modern world...but sometimes those evils aren't as distant as one might think.

remember when I said that I love a/b/o fics that are full of plot and world-building and gender-induced tension? that’s this one. the OC’s are fabulous and you love to hate ‘em. also, it’s the fic that made me fall head-over-heels for the TodoBaku dynamic, so it’s got a special place in my cold, dead heart. 

be warned, there are rather explicit non-con scenes between an adult (OC) and a minor (Bakugou) in this one, but the author warns for them in advance, and you could likely skip those parts without missing too much if you need to.

Never and Always, Eventually by Wawa_Boonliang

"Katsuki can remember the exact moment that he and Deku…that he and Midoriya Izuku became friends. He can also remember the moment he and Izuku became fierce rivals, a time when they were almost enemies.

However, what he remembers most clearly about their relationship is the moment that they moved passed rivals and became something more close than mere friends. Something more like brotherhood, something forged in fire and secured in the middle of a battlefield or in the midst of natural disaster where the number of the dead was climbing ever higher. And then it was torn from him."

Katsuki is given a second chance. A chance to save everyone. A chance to change everything.

But should he?

y’all. I’m a slutty, slutty whore for time travel fics. a time travel fic with autistic!coded Bakugou? it was love at first read.

Lessons Learned by Sif (Rosae)

Rather than the police station, Katsuki's friends bring him to a hospital after rescuing him from the villains. His wounds were minor, but it didn't make having them treated any less important. As it would so happen, Best Jeanist was also brought to this hospital after the attack.

Sometimes, small choices have a big impact on how a story plays out.

classic Bakugou hurt/comfort. this fic opened me up to the potential that could be a genuinely good Best Jeanist & Katsuki mentor-mentee relationship, and I kind of dig it and search ravenously for it in other fics now. I’m also a huge fan of the behind-the-scences Pro Hero Chat group.

Slope by sunfleurmoon

“I’m not a hero. Or a good person,” Katsuki says, giving Aizawa a pointed look, “So leave me alone. I don’t care about the League or UA, or you—” The two years he’s been away have been fine, more than fine, fucking fantastic actually if you ignore the bi-monthly near-death experiences. He doesn’t need this place. He doesn’t miss this place.

And yet, longing, a childish desire to tear up, or maybe blow something to bits, they all twist in his chest like a band of traitors regardless. “—I just want to go home.”

Or: the one where Katsuki and Izuku fail the first term exam, Aizawa discovers their pasts, and Katsuki is booted from UA. Featuring questionable descriptions of villain organizations, a slightly illegal moving shop, and your favorite emotionally constipated badass in distress with a newly discovered penchant for collecting strays.

paaaaaaiiiiiiiin. the hurt is ALIVE in this one. lots of tortured, angsty exploding child goodness. the OC’s are excellently crafted, and the Bakugou & Eri relationship? beautiful. definitely deserves a read.

Ground Zero by WindsChild8178

In the wake of Kamino, Katsuki is tested more than anyone could imagine. Bound by a villain’s quirk to keep his silence or die, he lives each day knowing it might very well be his last. He continues to work towards becoming a hero, keeping his secret from his classmates and teachers, focusing on making it through each day and trying not to allow the panic or depression to get the best of him. When the villain finally corners him with demands in exchange for his life, there is really only one answer Katsuki Bakugou can give.

honestly don't know which I want updated more - social media 101 or ground zero. this author's fics are amazing, and I really wasn't expecting the twist in this one. can't wait for windschild to come back to this fic some day.

The Defect by LadyGreenFrisbee

"Why do you want to win the Sports Festival so badly?" 

Because I want to see if the defect could usurp the masterpiece.

(In which Endeavor holds a terrible secret and Bakugo has to suffer since childhood for it.)

a great concept, and I adore the shouto and Katsuki sibling interaction here. hoping the author will come back to this one some day.

A Name That You'll Remember by Heronfem

Kirishima Eijirou is a Hero. Bakugou Katsuki... is not. Trapped in his toxic workplace and increasingly desperate to get out, Red Riot's days are only brightened by a new villain known as Caution, who's not exactly villainous and keeps accidentally doing good deeds. But when a real villain appears, a threat from the past that demands that Red Riot make the ultimate sacrifice to keep the public safe, Bakugou is forced into saving the day... and eventually, Red Riot himself.

sob story good guy villains are my weakness, this fic is a gem, and I'd kill for the sequel.

Our Hero by AnonymousTwit

He felt everything jerk to the side and throw his balance off before he saw anything, dust clouding his vision and irritating his lungs as the earth itself opened up to swallow them whole. For a single moment, in a millisecond's time, his wild eyes locked with Raccoon Eyes', hers alight with fear and adrenaline-fueled desperation. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he realized that it was the first time she'd looked at him with something other than long-deserved hatred in days.

And then he was free falling.

Or

After a particularly nasty encounter between childhood friends, the class learns about Bakugou and Midoriya's dark history and practically ostracizes Bakugou while trying to defend Midoriya. An earthquake during an outing has all sides regretting their decisions.

just fucking tear apart my self-sacrificing faves in every way imaginable while their loved ones watch on in terror. 💖🥰💖 this one is heavy on the Bakusquad and Class-1A feels, and VERY heavy on the Mina & Bakugou relationship (platonic).

Running back the tape, watching it replay by Faralyne

For someone ripped from their time, ripped from the few but strong relationships built by time and personal development, by self-reflection and swallowed pride, ripped from the one thing that made him feel worthwhile and needed and put-together, and forced to forge everything over again—Katsuki thinks he is handling it pretty fucking well.

Or

A villain’s quirk sends a 29-year-old Bakugou back in time to his middle school days.

am I a sucker for time travel? yes. am I a sucker for vigilante!bakugou? also yes. am I a sucker for this fic? literally refreshing the page in wait for an update as we speak.

Liability by sandelf

After All-Might dies rescuing Bakugou from the League, Bakugou is determined to prove it wasn't for nothing.

But the world is against him, his grief is overwhelming, and his stability is splitting at the edges.

very self-indulgent bakugou angst. tw for harassment, severe depression, and suicidality.

Special Mentions:

How To Win The Sport Festival: A Step By Step Guide by mhwright

Short re-imagining of the Sports Festival Arc if Shinso had planned a little better and worked a little harder to win the Sports Festival and if the match-ups had been slightly different. Self-indulgent fic of watching him succeed.

this is completely Shinsou-centric, not Bakugou-centric, but I love and adore it and am dying for a sequel. Shinsou is Best Boy here and you'll be rooting for him the whole time.