#what I’m saying is we all need a Cleo

[dogerbooger]

Breaking news! Most divorced man of all time lives in a roofless house made out of gravel and pebbles

[rosaacicularis]

which was more culturally significant, the renaissance or hermitgang

[theminecraftbee]

Afterwards, they do a race. They don’t talk about it, but it’s there, between them still. Something settled between them. Cleo doesn’t know how to say it; they never know how to say things like this. Still, they need to, so they wait until Ren’s race is over and then hike through the jungle to go sit on top of Etho’s base and wait for him to show up as well.

He doesn’t. He’d gone to their base. Instead of just showing up for each other, they have to somewhat awkwardly coordinate over text which base to meet at. It forces everything to feel more real.

When they finally meet up, it’s in the shopping district, leaning against the button. A dangerous game in theory, but Cleo’s not fully convinced it can explode at this point, so.

Cleo breathes. They’re both quiet for a moment.

"Okay, so like, are we doing this?" Cleo says.

"I don’t really know, uh, what this is," Etho says, "but I… care about you. I think. So I think we’re doing that."

Cleo nods once. "You know I don’t fall in love, right? I’m not going to fall in love with you, I don’t do that. Might say something about loving you, but it’s not the same thing. Different sense of the word. It’s different, loving people and falling in love, got it? And I won’t do that second thing. I’m never going to do that second thing. I don’t--"

"Okay. I know," Etho says.

"Do you?" Cleo asks.

"I mean, not entirely, but I’m frankly surprised we’re having this conversation in the first place. I never expected you to be in love with me."

"But I’m not," Cleo says. "I’m attracted to you, and I love you as like, a companion and friend or whatever, but I’m not in love with you. I’m. Ugh. I wish I knew the right words. I just--I also don’t let go of things so if we’re doing this you’re going to have to get used to that real fast. Me not being in love with you but me not letting you go, both of those things."

"You're attracted to me? Aw, Cleo," Etho says.

"Don't be an ass," Cleo says.

"Sorry, sorry. It's just, geez, this is--a heavy conversation, huh?"

Cleo sighs. "We'll work on the deflection."

Etho rubs the back of his head and looks away. "Uh, in that case. If I'm maybe a little in love with you--"

"I can't--I can't reciprocate that, Etho," Cleo says, and their voice cracks as they do.

"I know," Etho says. "I just want to make sure it's okay, then."

"You can't help that, can you? Just like I can't help that I still sort of want to kill anyone who hurts you."

Etho seems to think about it for a while. Cleo resists the urge to fidget. She's a zombie. She shouldn't have the urge to fidget; she should be too dead for that. Besides, it's hardly like it's a secret she doesn't fall in love, exactly. It's just... it's only relevant sometimes. Feeling like, as she watches Etho and Bdubs dance around each other, she's on the outside looking in. She'd kill to hold their hands, to protect them, hell, even to kiss them--but that's different. She just can't summon the same emotion of... she doesn't know.

Martyn had almost gotten it, for all he didn't get anything else, in the end. Scott was never going to fall in love with her in the first place, for obvious reasons. Whatever attraction she and Pearl have going on, it's definitely not love.

But this...

"Okay," Etho says.

"That's it?" Cleo says.

"I mean, does it need to be anything else?" Etho says. "It's not like we can just... not do this. I think it's too late for that. Whatever 'this' is. I'm in love, and you aren't, but we'd both be pretty upset to lose this, right? So I'll... figure it out."

Cleo swallows. They feel small. "Will you? Do you understand?"

Etho shrugs. "I understand that it's you, and it's you that this happened with, not anyone else."

"Okay," Cleo says. "Okay."

"Is it okay if I kiss you? Just to try it, I mean. Not like, as a--this is a bad time, actually, I don't want to try to make any kissing we do romantic, I mean, you just told me this won't be romantic, I--"

"Yeah, sure, you can kiss me," Cleo says, and he leans in to kiss them. It's nice. A little soft for what they'd want, really, but nice. He leans back. He looks them in the eyes.

"I get it a little more now."

Cleo is baffled. "How? Kissing is just like, a thing we did? How does that have anything to do with any of the rest of this."

Etho laughs. "I definitely get it a little more now. What do you want to tell the others? I know they're definitely gossiping."

"Ugh. Can we just, like, not?" Cleo says. "I don't want to have to explain it."

"I'll just be confusing then, got it," Etho says, and Cleo can't help but laugh themselves.

"This is why you're my favorite," Cleo says, and they think maybe this will work out okay, after all.

[legally-allowed-to-slime]

The last few people had logged off the server, leaving it in its burnt, damaged state.

She knew where Gem would be.

Cleo scaled up the ladder and clambered up to the rickety roof of Joel’s tower — where you could look out on the entire server.

Sure enough, Gem was perched on the railing, sitting on the edge with nothing to support her but the wind, staring in the direction of the Secret Keeper.

Cleo looked around at the short cobble walls. Grian had told her that he’d hid away here. Not a bad strategy, overall. You could shut yourself here and forget everywhere else existed.

“Hey, Cleo.”

“Am I that loud?” Cleo joked weakly.

“Who else?”

Cleo watched as the last remains of the green flesh flaked off Gem’s skin, leaving her regular human tones. “No more zombies now, then? Good job, anyway. Killing people left and right.”

“Not you, though.”

“Not me. Only way I’m going out is my way. I’d rather die on my own stupidity than someone else’s callousness.” Cleo allowed a hint of pride to enter her voice. “You were great zombies, though.”

“We weren’t zombies.” Gem turned and hopped down from the railing.

Cleo noticed that unlike the other zombies, or even Scott or Grian, Gem didn’t have a single scratch or injury, save one neat bandage that no doubt was due to Scar’s reckless arrows.

Which meant the blood splattering her face wasn’t her own. “What do you mean?”

“That’s not how zombies work. No offence, Cleo, but most zombies aren’t sentient.”

Cleo blinked. “No worries, I know they aren’t. I kill plenty of them at night.”

“So you should know how they work. They’re mindless. They lurch along, they kill without thinking, they probably bump into trees.”

Gem tilted her head. “They don’t set TNT traps, or betray their teammates, or ask for permission to kill their wife’s perceived murderer.”

Cleo’s mouth was dry. “So you’re saying…”

“I’m saying the apocalypse wasn’t zombies, Cleo. It was human.”

Horribly, incredibly human.

Cleo remembered when they were up on the tower, staring at the others down below, condemning them as monsters.

Somehow, it was better to think of them as a mindless horde and not people she’d been laughing and arguing with a session ago.

Gem was watching her. “You know I’m right. Look at Pearl. Was running from us, convinced we were infected or something but once she realised she had permission to kill, she went in. Even unleashed a warden, or two. That’s how quickly we switch.”

Ironically, Cleo realised, the roles had been swapped this session. The humans were chasing the zombie, but it hadn’t been any different.

“That’s not true,” Cleo said, “It’s not all bad. Did you know, Grian snuck down from this tower to check on his magma pet, and I was there too. And so was Etho. He didn’t kill us.”

Irritation flashed across Gem’s face. “He didn’t kill you? If he had, or, like, told us your location or something, we could’ve all just gone after Scott, and, and, the task would’ve succeeded…”

She trailed off, and looked at Cleo. “Is that the point you’re trying to make here?”

Cleo shrugged.

“Alright, I get it,” Gem grumbled, “No need to rub your holier-than-thou alliance and great morals in my face.”

“Well, no one asked you to put your task over your bandmates.”

Gem didn’t say anything to that.

“It’s not as if I’m exactly a paragon of morality either.” Cleo continued.

“I guess not.” Gem gave a short laugh. “Neither am I. You know, all the murder and stuff? I don’t feel bad! In fact, I feel great. I feel proud of myself for it.”

“…I feel you should be a little less bloodthirsty.”

Gem smiled at Cleo, an innocent, cheerful smile that would have been such if not for the circumstances. “Oh, no.”

Cleo was suddenly feeling very unsafe on the highest platform on the server. She wished Etho was here, or even Grian.

She knew Gem couldn’t take any lives, not now, not when the session was already over. But still…

Cleo raised her sword to stop the axe swing that came, but it was a feint, and her sword hit nothing.

Gem dramatically swung her axe back into her inventory.

“You really thought I would attack you?” Gem said.

“I don’t see why you wouldn’t,” Cleo retorted curtly.

“That’s true,” Gem conceded. “But the curse is just so- it’s so freeing, Cleo? Can’t you see? You could do anything.”

“Uh- no thanks. Session’s over, anyway,” Cleo pointed out.

“That’s true. But I’m still kinda cursed, you know.”

In response, Cleo warily raised her sword. But all that Gem did was deliver a mock salute before logging off with a chirpy “See you next week!”

Cleo stood silently. There had been one zombie on the platform just now. Her.

And thinking about it, she wasn’t sure if there hadn’t been two.

[frozenjokes]

Put Me In Perspective, Or At Least In My Place (Another Retrospective On Aromantic Love)

“Above your head like this. Both hands, look at me. Both hands, Grian. It doesn’t take a lot of strength, just step forward and release around eye level.” Cleo demonstrated, holding the axe at the end of its handle and releasing the weapon. It flew in what had to be a perfect arc before burying itself in the wood, a bullseye of course. She threw the axe like she’d done it a thousand times, and honestly, she probably had.

“Don’t people throw them with one hand, too?”

“Yes. It’s just harder. Try this first.”

Grian pursed his lips, stepping forward, throwing, then squeaking when the axe bounced terrifyingly off the wood, hitting the wall before rolling and bumping the curb that separated the stall and his feet. Ah. That was frightening.

“Nearly took out our ankles there,” Cleo said, not sounding all too concerned.”

“It- Can it bounce over that?”

“Not easily. But not uncommonly either. Try not to do that.” Cleo strode forward, plucking the axe off the ground and handing it to Grian. “Don’t throw it while I’m in there.”

“I wasn’t going to!”

“Maybe you won’t, but some people need to be told,” Cleo grunted, ripping the axe she’d thrown from the wall and spinning it thoughtlessly in her hand before burying it in the stump that split their twin alleys. “Try again. Keep your wrists straighter, release at eye level.”

Grian shifted his weight, frowning, “Surely you brought me here to talk about something else other than axe throwing. ‘Cancel your plans, I’m picking you up,’ is an extremely ominous message to receive from a stranger at 8:00 at night. How did you get my number again?”

“Pearl. And we aren’t strangers, we’ve met at least once at that big friend get-together thing, you know. That awful pizza place? Regardless, I’m friends with runners, so force is necessary 90% of the time. If you want to skip to the talking, we can talk, but I don’t know if you want to hear what I have to say.”

“I probably don’t.”

“Then start throwing and I’ll do the work. You’ll get it to stick, just give her a few tries.”

“You seem to have a lot of faith in me.”

“Everyone gets it eventually.” Cleo looked relaxed, unconcerned, and Grian tried to match the energy, but he couldn’t quite shake his anxiety. Well. He was here, so he might as well make the most of it.

It took six more tries before he got an axe to stick. Wow that was satisfying- but the air seemed a little too heavy to celebrate more than Cleo’s tasteful clapping. Maybe he should come back here with Pearl and Impulse.. Jimmy maybe? He’d kill to see Jimmy try this actually, even if he’d likely crush Grian in the end. When Grian went to collect the two axes from the stall, Cleo finally spoke.

“I’d like to know what’s going on between you and Scar. Properly. It’s been a particularly shitty week for our friend group and Scar’s been in a foul mood for more reason than one, so we haven’t talked. And I’m not just here to interrogate you about Scar either, I’d really like to know what’s going through your head as well. Have you seen each other this week? Have you talked at all?” Cleo was firm, but nothing about their voice was hostile. There was a worried longing there, the kind of urging that came from a deep concern for a good friend.

Grian took a deep breath. “Not much. I saw him a couple days ago when I was getting lunch with Pearl at the zoo. He only texted me one other time to tell me he wouldn’t be.. we have this mutual place we hang out, and he just told me he wouldn’t be around this week. Too much going on. I’m really sorry about Etho by the way, I hope you guys find him.”

“Thank you. Bdubs got in contact with him yesterday, so we know he’s alright. We still don’t know where he is or when he’s coming home, but from what I’ve heard, he’s keeping frequent contact. Hasn’t called me or Scar, but that’s typical. With any luck he’ll be back safely soon. That’s what Etho said anyway. Still all sorts of concerning, but we’ll take what we can get.”

“That’s good. I’m glad.” Grian tried not to be hurt that Scar hadn’t updated him, but failed miserably despite the fact it probably wasn’t any of his business. He just would’ve liked to know, that’s all.

“It is. So how did that clusterfuck of a night happen between you and Scar? How did that start?”

“Oh,” Grian mumbled, fidgeting with the axe still in his hands. Cleo took the other from the stump, throwing it almost lazily, like the question didn’t matter to her much at all. Grian decided to do the same, focusing on the secondary activity instead. “Well.. he invited me over. That was a couple hours after our first spat, and I was still feeling weird about it all. Wasn’t well.”

“I figured. He reached out to you first?”

“Yeah. We weren’t supposed to do anything though, just.. get it out of our systems. I was so mad at him- I’m still so angry, and not even for any reason in particular. I’m just mad.”

“Then how’d you end up in his bed?”

“Oh. I kissed him. He was pissing me off.”

“Right.”

Grian scoffed, snagging his axe off the floor of the alley after a failed throw. “How did you think this all went down? He told you the jist, basically. Not nicely, but he told you.”

Cleo shrugged. “I just wanted to know a few more details. Place my judgment a bit more accurately. From where I’m standing, you’re both idiots self destructing in the dumbest way possible. I would like it very much if this didn’t happen again, not only because it’s bad for both of you, but quite frankly, it’s embarrassing.”

“You’re entitled to your opinion.”

“Come on.”

Grian curled his lip. “Listen, I don’t understand why it’s such a huge problem for Scar and I to work out our differences with a little violence. We're consenting adults and the sex was kinda nuts, so if we’re both having fun there’s no issue. In any case, I’m pretty sure this is solving all of our problems.”

“Oh? Do explain.”

Grian rolled his shoulders, throwing his axe and getting it to stick for the second time, “We’re just letting off steam, Cleo. Two months of awkward tension does a lot to a man, it does a lot, nothing good. This is like a shortcut to the whole ‘tiMe hEaLs aLL’ bullshit, we’re like- getting it out of our system.”

“Uh huh. And this is going to resolve your unrequited feelings for Scar how..?”

“I’m getting it out of my system, Cleo.”

“Ah, so having really good sex with a man who isn’t looking for the same things in a relationship as you is going to fix you.”

“You got it.”

“That’s the dumbest load of horseshit I’ve ever heard.” For the first time, Cleo’s axe bounced off the board. She strode to pick it up wordlessly.

“Alright.” Grian landed another axe, just inches from the bullseye.

“Grian,” Cleo sighed harshly, and Grian avoided her eye, uninterested in her scrutiny, “Listen. As dysfunctional as the both of you two are, I don’t actually believe this couldn’t work. You two have been as thick as thieves for ages, and as much as you’re scrapping now, I don’t think that’s indicative of how you actually feel about each other. You’re just hurt people hurting each other, and you don’t have to be. For goodness’s sake, Scar would have been happy to be in some sort of relationship with you, he just didn’t want to lose you altogether. Somewhere I think that got lost in translation.”

“Scar doesn’t want to date me. He only offered to appease me, it was as obvious as anything.”

“I don’t doubt there’s truth to that. He doesn’t do well under the pressure of a love confession, and that’s no one’s fault. But his feelings on romance are a lot more complicated than ‘wanting’ or ‘not wanting.’ You did the right thing to refuse him, Grian, he wasn’t ready. But I think it’s worth talking to him again. Laying everything out on the table. And I can’t speak for what Scar wants, his brain is a mess of tangled wires and sparks, but he’s obviously had plenty of time to think about this, and he might surprise you. If there’s one thing I do know about Scar, it’s that he loves to give things like this a try. And I mean that. He does love it.”

“But Scar won’t love me. Not like I want to love him.”

Cleo hummed, thoughtful as they considered the ceiling, “You know, I don’t know if that’s true.”

Grian huffed, “Unless I’m misunderstanding what ‘aromantic’ means, I don’t see what you mean.”

Cleo shrugged. “Scar loves everyone in big sweeping gestures. That doesn’t change from person to person, whether they’re family, close friends, lovers.. it doesn’t change. But there are still levels, right? There’s still loyalty. You’re thinking of Scar as loving you like a friend, but I think that’s the wrong approach. Making that distinction makes it seem like his love would be less intense, like he wouldn’t still give you everything he has. Try.. a scale, 1 through 10, maybe. For you, you’re looking to give Scar your 10 on the scale, right? A 9 or 10, whatever it is, that’s the kind of love you want to give, the kind of love you’re looking to receive. In Scar’s brain, he’s been giving you that 10 for months, and if you asked to spend the rest of your life with him, he’d probably go ahead and accept without hesitation. That’s just how he feels about the people he’s close with.”

Grian didn’t speak, still working out how to process those words, but Cleo did not mind continuing in his absence. “If you’re worried about not being #1, then I’m afraid you’re fighting a losing battle, friend. With anyone. You’re contending with mothers, brothers, sisters, friends that go back to high school, grade school, diapers. Being intimate doesn’t outweigh those bonds, not for most people. And this isn’t to say that a relationship with Scar would be exactly the same as it would be with anyone else, it won’t, and if you’re the type of guy that gets insecure when your partner is physically friendly with other people, then forget it, but in my truest of hearts, if you’re looking for someone to love, I believe Scar would be more than good for you. He would treat you well,” Cleo paused, thoughtful before continuing, “And honestly, things literally can not get any messier between you two. There are zero stakes to giving this a shot. You’ll either feel a lot better about yourselves or you’ll go your separate ways, both of which are a huge improvement to whatever the fuck is happening between you two now. Maybe you’ll even stay friends after talking all this shit out. Who knows.”

Grian returned his axe to the stump, needing to sit down. To think. He was quiet for a long time just sitting there, the only sound being the bustle of other customers and Cleo’s own axe hitting its mark time and time again.

“You really think he’d want to give it a shot?”

Cleo shrugged and shook her head noncommittally, “Who knows. But it wouldn’t surprise me. So long as you two actually talk this all out, I think anything could happen. And Christ, if you two decide to get together and still want to ‘fall down the stairs’ then have nasty sex afterward, that’s your prerogative, but for crissakes, at least wear some sort of padding or a helmet or something, don’t actually kill each other.”

Well. He had gotten Scar that helmet, hadn’t he.

“I’ll think about it,” Grian mumbled, eyes lidded. And he was. He was thinking quite hard about it.

[catherinnn]

"Can you kiss me again?"

just a little blurb bc I was bored and I can't get this boy out of my head.

It was late in the afternoon, the sun setting on its sunset hours—or golden hour, as Kie called it—you were all at the château after a day of surfing and swimming in the ocean. The guys with Cleo were playing a game of poker, Sarah with Kie and I weren’t paying much attention since we weren’t really good at it, so we just stick to chatting among ourselves right next to all of them like a happy family—just like JJ always said.

“I’m out” Pope sighed and threw his cards on the table.

“Nah, I’m all in” John B. confirmed moving some of the poker chips on the table. “JJ?”

“I’m in, bro” he did the same.

“I didn’t listen to his new album yet, is it good?” Sarah talked with Kie.

“It’s amazing, one of his bests so far. Did you listen to it?” Kie asked you.

“A few songs, not all of it yet. But I liked it so far”

“I think you win this one, I’m out” Cleo continued with the game.

“But what about SZA’s new album, I’ve only listened to Kill Bill because of tik tok, but I’m kind of obsessed with it” Sarah commented.

“Oh my god, It’s amazing, I’ve had it on repeat since it came out” Cleo ignored the guys while they kept playing and joined our conversation.

“Yeah, me too, especially Kill Bill, like you said, Sarah”

“I know, it’s so good right-“

“Wait! No! That’s cheating!” Sarah was cut off by a screaming JJ, who suddenly started jumping on his seat next to you on the couch.

“That’s not cheating! What are you talking about?” John B. defended his move.

“Pope, check if it is cheating, help me out here” JJ demanded.

“It’s not cheating man, he’s right, he won” Pope confirmed.

“Oh, come on man!” he complained.

“You’re just a sore loser, deal with it JJ” John B. grinned.

“That’s so not true,” JJ started again, leaning back on the couch and resting his head on your shoulder, “They’re cheating”

“What happened, J?” you asked in a sweet voice as if he was a baby.

“My cards were higher than his, they’re just complotting against me ‘cause they don’t like when I win”

“Oh, don’t pout like that!” you were dying ‘cause of how cute he was right now. Your hand started stroking his hair to make him feel better, which was working because he just loved your attention on him.

“I’m not pouting” he lied.

“Yes, you are” you told him. You realized you needed something more to make him feel better again, and the best idea popped into your head. “Come here” he looked at you again and the hand that was on his hair came down to his cheek, you leaned closer—more than you already were—and you left soft kisses on his other cheek, moving closer and closer to his lips. One, two, three, four kisses. Until your lips touched his, not yet kissing, you teased a little, touching them with yours for a moment. As you realized he didn’t complain to this, he just stayed there accepting and enjoying your every touch, you dared—without thinking twice—and started kissing him, very slowly, very softly.

He moved his lips just the way you were doing it, like he was following your moves. You moves away, making it a short kiss—after all, this was your first kiss together. He opened his eyes and looked at you as if you were something magical, he was completely mesmerized.

Suddenly, you were brought back from your own little world when you heard hysterical laughing from the boys sat in front of you. JJ happened to be thinking the same because of the way he looked at them, frowning and the little smile he had before long gone.

“Did you see his face?” Pope managed to say in between all of his laughs.

“Was that your first kiss ever, dude?” John B. mocked him.

“That, or he clearly just fell in love” Kie joined in in the mocking.

“Shut up” JJ said. You smirked. After they calmed down a bit, they asked for a round two.

“You wanna play again?” John B. asked picking the cards up from the table.

“No” he simply answered him, later to move his head towards you. “Can you kiss me again?”

You smiled. “All of the kisses you want”

“Oh, he’s gonna be so whipped now” Pope complained.

“Now? You’ve clearly never noticed before” Sarah commented.

“Yeah, he’s been whipped long before that kiss” Kiara confirmed.

“Could you shut up and continue without me?” JJ shut them up and turned to you again, “Now, where were we?”

The evening continued with Pope and John B. trying to teach the girls how to play while you both ignored them, coming back to your own little world together, sharing more kisses with little comments and laughs between you two.

a/n: idk anything about poker so if you do and you read this, I'm sorry lol.

[jaeyunverse]

cat boy

pairing: yang jungwon x fem!reader

wc: 1882

genres: some fluff, mostly crack, enemies to lovers, neighbours au

warnings: profanity

summary: yang jungwon is pissed his cat likes you more than him. or, in which jungwon’s cat plays cupid and sets you up.

note: this is extremely unserious!!!! i only wrote it for funsies but i enjoyed the process a lot :) i hope the fic manages to bring a smile on your face hehe

masterlist

There was an angry-looking Yang Jungwon standing at your door.

You didn’t know why he was so pissed. You just knew you didn’t care.

“Your incessant knocking woke me up,” you replied dryly and leaned against the door frame, arms crossing over your chest. “You better have a good reason for ruining my sleep.”

“It’s five in the evening.”

“What’s your point?”

Jungwon’s jaw clenched, and the corner of your lip curled up a smirk. Provoking him was always so satisfying. Always so easy and entertaining.

It was crazy how he was the sweetest person with everyone else but the moment you opened your mouth, he glared at you and looked like he was plotting your death. The discrimination and harsh treatment you’d received from the boy upon moving into your apartment had hurt at first, but you’d soon learnt to take it with a grain of salt.

You’d learnt that it was way more fun to push his buttons and see just how far you needed to take things for him to reach his breaking point.

“Just shut the fuck up and listen to me,” Jungwon snapped, pointing an accusing finger at you. “I need you to stop playing with my cat. Do not touch her. Do not call her name. Do not do the weird fucking meowing thing you do where she meows back at you and you have those god awful meowing conversations. Do not—”

“Oh, yeah,” you interrupted and pretended to deeply think about something. “I think it was just yesterday that Cleo told me you were popping a vein over her liking me more than you. I must say, Yang, you have reached a level of pathetic I didn’t even know existed. Yelling at your neighbour because you don’t get validation from your cat? Tsk.”

Embarrassment and anger coloured the entirety of Jungwon’s face a deep red. “You don’t get it!” he exclaimed. “Cleo keeps clawing at the front door! She doesn’t even want to stay with me anymore. She stares at me with so much resentment because I don’t let her play with you all the time!”

“I’m confused,” you said, your eyebrows furrowing. “Why don’t you let her play with me if that’s why she hates you? Your problem has a very simple solution—”

“But she’s my cat!” he said, running a hand through his hair in frustration. He stepped closer to you, desperation evident on his features. “I don’t care if she plays with you, but the more she does, the more she realises that she’d rather have you take care of her.”

“Well,” you sputtered, a little taken aback by how much his cat’s preferences had distraught him. “If it’s any consolation to you, I don’t have the time or resources to look after Cleo, so she has no choice but to stay with you.”

“I don’t know how to make her love me again,” Jungwon mumbled to himself, not having heard you at all. “I know cats aren’t very loyal, but I didn’t think Cleo would dump me after everything we’ve gone through. I pay the landlord more money so she can keep staying with me without having to hide from anyone. I fought—”

“Yang!” you yelled and grabbed his shoulders. He snapped out of his reverie and looked at you in despair. You’d never thought you would feel bad for him, but you found yourself offering, “Do you want me to show you how I play with her? I don’t know why she prefers me over you, but maybe I’m doing something you aren’t. Maybe you’ll know what it is if we play with her together.”

Jungwon nodded eagerly. “Yeah, let’s go.”

“Now?” you asked incredulously. “I have to meet a friend for dinner.”

“Please,” he begged, and you didn’t think you’d ever heard him sound so hopeless before. “Just for ten minutes.”

You hesitated a bit for a moment, but then reluctantly agreed. “Ten minutes.”

Jungwon watched in awe as you interacted with Cleo. He couldn’t remember the last time he saw his ginger Ragamuffin so excited.

“Hey, Cleo,” you cooed, cupping her face in your hands. “How are you doing? How’s the most precious girl in the world doing?”

Cleo purred and leaned into your touch. Smiling, you caressed her cheeks and kissed her nose.

Gathering her in your arms, you stood up. The cat rested her head on your shoulder and closed her eyes.

“I really don’t see Cleo hating anyone,” you said to Jungwon, a small frown settling on your features. “I mean, look at her.”

He sighed and padded towards you, stopping only when he was right beside. His arm brushed against yours. “I don’t get it either.”

And then, as if to prove to you that he wasn’t lying about his cat having something against him, Jungwon lightly petted her.

Cleo’s eyes snapped open and her nails popped out. She pawed at him and he withdrew his hand immediately.

“Oh.”

“I don’t understand why she’s acting this way,” he lamented. “She was good to me until you came along!”

You scoffed in disbelief. “Are you seriously saying this is my fault? Did you even consider the possibility of you being a horrible owner?”

“You did not just say that!” Jungwon looked extremely offended, but you didn’t give a shit. You couldn’t believe he was blaming you for his problems.

“I don’t even need to say anything,” you sneered. “Cleo running away from you to me speaks volumes.”

You saw your neighbour’s jaw clench. His hands curled into fists at his side, and you wondered if you’d gone too far. You know he loved his cat; insinuating that he wasn’t taking good care of her probably hurt.

Besides, you knew it wasn’t true. Jungwon was a huge animal enthusiast. He’d looked after a turtle when he was five and had decided then and there that a career surrounded by animals was what he wanted. He was studying to be a veterinary doctor now.

Before you could open your mouth to apologise, he muttered, “I should have known this was a bad idea.”

Your blood boiled once again. “You really do have a knack for being the most ungrateful asshole anyone could ever come across, Yang.”

In your arms, Cleo meowed and lifted her head from your shoulder, staring daggers at her owner.

“Ungrateful?” Jungwon snorted in disbelief, not noticing the glares the Ragamuffin was sending his way. “You haven’t done anything since you came here! I don’t have shit to be grateful for.”

Cleo growled, and the boy finally acknowledged her anger.

You pointed a finger at Jungwon and fumed, “I take back what I said before. I do see Cleo hating you. You’re a little bitch who—”

“Oh, spare me.” He cut you off with a roll of his eyes, but you paid him no heed and continued,

“Maybe she’d like you better if you liked me better!”

The cat meowed again. The message was very clear. She agreed.

“I do like you...” Jungwon said defensively, but it was a pathetic attempt that convinced no one. Especially not Cleo.

“Yeah, sure.” You let out a humourless laugh. “You’ve obviously been a jerk to me from the very start because you think you’re the unapproachable, dark-haired, broody lead and I’m the sunshine who is supposed to make you open up.”

He gave you a sour look. “You’re not the sunshine.”

“And you’re not the main character you think you are. I’m not going to put up with your attitude anymore. Just stop being a dick and tell me what you have against me.”

Jungwon hesitated for a moment. You watched as he contemplated whether or not to tell you the real reason behind his grudge, and with each passing second, you slowly started to get a good idea of why.

You knew it was going to be something stupid.

He proved you right.

“I was trying to rent the apartment you’re living in. It has a better view and is way bigger. I live with a cat and you live alone—I thought it was unfair that the landlord chose someone who doesn’t even need the space.”

You were speechless for a while. You took your sweet time to wrap your head around the fact that Yang Jungwon was one petty son of a bitch.

“That’s it?” you finally asked. “You hate me because I snagged the apartment you wanted fair and square?”

He didn’t confirm. He didn’t need to.

You exclaimed, “Grow the hell up, Yang! So what if I got it? It’s been six months; move on!”

“You don’t need it as much as I do!” he protested.

“You don’t know that!” you said angrily. “You don’t know me! You never tried to.”

Jungwon opened his mouth to retort, but he didn’t really know what to say. He knew he was the one at fault. Maybe he should have apologised.

Too bad his stubbornness wouldn’t let him go down without a fight.

“It’s not like you ever tried to get to know me either,” Jungwon muttered.

“I brought you home-baked cookies the day I moved in. You said you didn’t want them and shut the door in my face. I invited you to my house-warming party too, but neither did you reply to my email nor show up. You really think I didn’t try to get to know you? To be friends with you?”

Your voice was laced with bitterness, but there were traces of genuine sorrow in it as well. The fire in your eyes from your bickering had winked out and you looked tired.

The boy found his resolve crumbling. Shame and guilt began to build claw at him from the inside. Maybe he had been unnecessarily harsh.

“I—uh..” Jungwon tried, “I’m sorry.”

You raised your eyebrows. “For being so rude to you, I mean, ” he added hastily. “You didn’t deserve it.”

The apology could have been way better but you weren’t going to complain. “Okay.”

Setting Cleo on the floor again, you moved towards the front door of his apartment. “I’ll get going.”

However, before you could turn the knob, Jungwon blurted, “Are—are you free now? Maybe we can hang out and get to know each other?”

“Oh.” You were dumbfounded. Out of all the things you expected him to say, this was not it. “I have to meet a friend tonight. I told you.”

Embarrassment tinted his ears a deep red. “Right,” he squeaked after clearing his throat. “Forget I asked.”

“Well—” you started after a beat of awkward silence— “I won’t be out for that long. Do you wanna come over to watch a movie later?”

“I have to get up early tomorrow.”

You decided that this was clearly not working out—but it wasn’t that bad. So what if Jungwon and you couldn’t hang out? You were on good terms now. That was an immense improvement in your relationship already.

Your neighbour, however, didn’t seem to be in the mood to cut his losses and move on. He tried again, “The weekend?”

You paused. Racked your brain to make sure you didn’t have any other commitments. “The weekend.”

“It’s a date.”

Strangely, you didn’t correct Jungwon. He didn’t take his words back either.

Cleo’s tail swayed in silent approval.

[slashmagpie]

“Pearl? Why are you in my house?” 

Pearl blinks up at Bdubs from where she’s sandwiched between the wall and the waterstream, curled up on herself in the narrow space. “Somebody destroyed all the lights in my base and now it’s full of mobs,” she says bitterly.

“It wasn’t me!” Bdubs cries, raising his hands.

“Well, I didn’t think it was you, but the way you just said that’s making me think—”

“No! I’d never! I swear!”

“...I believe you,” she says after a moment, and Bdubs feels himself relax. “Can I stay with you tonight? I don’t really feel like…” She gestures in the direction of her house.

Bdubs nods. “Oh, sure, for sure,” he says. Then, “Should we invite Joel over? His house got blown up too.”

“Ah, yeah, probably. Good idea, Bdubs.” She fumbles in her pocket for her communicator, eventually fishing it out. The screen is cracked. Her fingers shake as they tap against the glass. 

“Are you okay there, Pearl? You look a little…” Bdubs forces his hands to tremble. 

She glances up at him, face scrunching in confusion, before she lets out a small laugh. “Just the adrenaline, y’know.” She grins. “I’m red. It’s great.” 

“If it was anyone else, I’d think they were being sarcastic. But with you! With you, I’m pretty sure you’re being serious!”

She giggles, hitting send on the message and shoving her communicator away. Bdubs doesn’t feel his own buzz; it must have been a whisper. “You know,” she says after a moment, “I’m a little surprised.”

Bdubs blinks. “Surprised about what?”

“That there’s still three of us.” 

He laughs. “Yeah, I’m a little surprised, too! I thought for sure Joel would die today. For sure.”

“Don’t let him hear you say that.”

“Oh, no, never. But between you and me… that guy’s kind of a loose canon!” 

She snorts. “Throwing stones from glass houses, there, Bdubs?”

“Surely I don’t know what you mean.”

“Mhm.” She pauses, eyes glancing down to where her fingers pick at a stray thread on her hoodie sleeve. “That’s kinda what I mean, though. Joel doesn’t live here, and you’re making friends with half the server, I’m surprised I’m not spending tonight alone.”

“Pearl…”

“What?” She snorts. “I know how these games go, Bdubs. People don’t stay loyal. Not for long, anyway.” She glances up at him, eyes half obscured by her hair. “People like Joel, people like you? I know how this ends.”

And Bdubs—

Well, he can’t pretend he doesn’t know what she means. Can’t pretend he doesn’t remember Impulse yelling as Bdubs’ arrow had found home in his throat. Can’t pretend he doesn’t remember Etho backing away when Bdubs had tried to get just a little too close. Can’t pretend he didn’t fight when he promised he’d run. Can’t pretend he hadn’t taken advantage of his broken home. 

…He can’t pretend he doesn’t remember telling Martyn about their plans, or planning to do harm to Etho. Can’t pretend he doesn’t cross his fingers behind his back every time he makes a promise, just in case.

But at the same time, he remembers—searching for Cleo in a castle she’d been too dead to return to, pushing Lizzie to her death for a life he’d never received, taking two hands in his own and vowing to face the end as four instead of two, for once, for once in his life, choosing three and being pulled apart because of it—

Bdubs lets out a breath. “Pearl, hey, no,” he says. “I told you, didn’t I? I’m your weapon.” He gets down to his knees, lowers his head before her, feels her gaze burn into the top of his head.

“Bit late for that,” she says. “I’m my own weapon now, mate. Don’t need you to attack for me anymore.”

“Well, no—but—” He looks up at her. “Pearl. I’m yours. I promise.”

“Right. And you’re Martyn and Etho’s too, huh? We can share.”

“I’m using Martyn!” he protests. “That’s—that’s all it is—I’m usin’ him because he’s the first red and he knows his stuff! And Etho—”

“I don’t mind about Etho,” Pearl interrupts. “Like I said, I know you guys have your little thing going on. I don’t care about that.”

“I set a trap in his base,” Bdubs blurts.

Pearl blinks at him. “Excuse me?”

“I set a trap in his base. Tripwire hook.” He grins. “Right outside the bedroom. I—I think I got Grian, in the end? But—could have been Etho. I coulda—could’ve been Etho.” He swallows.

“And you’d have been okay with that?” Pearl asks, smile gone from her face, expression suddenly very serious.

“I—after I set it, I went up to them. Had a chat. Lied the whole time. I coulda—coulda told him. I didn’t.” 

“And you’re okay with that?” she stresses.

She sounds dubious. Bdubs can’t blame her. He feels sick, swallowing back the bile that’s building in his throat.

“I—Pearl.”

“Bdubs?”

“I learned my lesson, Pearl. I learned—don’t put all your eggs in one basket! Because—because either they die, and then you get left alone, or—or it gets you killed, and you die. You gotta—I have two hands. I can be loyal to multiple people. But then I learned—when you do that? People aren’t loyal back. They don’t trust you anymore. Nobody else…” He laughs. “I feel like I’m the only one who can trust people like that anymore!”

“So…” She frowns. “So you’re making friends with everyone so you don’t get betrayed or left alone?”

“Exactly.” 

“And you know none of us are gonna trust you for doing that.”

He swallows again. “Yeah, I know.”

“And you’re doing it anyway?”

“Well, what else—what else am I supposed to do? I can’t… I can’t go back, Pearl. That’s… I can’t go back. You know how it is.”

“…Yeah,” she says quietly. “I’m—I want you to win, Bdubs,” she says. “Out of everyone—I want it to be you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. So… You better not make me regret this.”

He blinks at her. “Regret what?”

She bows her head to him. “I’m your weapon,” she says, an echo of his earlier words. “And a bit more of a dangerous one at that.” Her smirk leaks back into her words as she glances up and winks at him. “So use me well, alright, Bdubs? I want you to win this.”

Bdubs’ heart is in his throat. He swallows it back down. It burns.

“I’ll do my best,” he promises. 

The door slams open, startling them both out of their skin.

“Hey guys—uh. What are you doing?”

“Oh, for—Judas Priest, Joel, learn to knock!”

“You invited me over! Or, Pearl did—hey Pearl.”

“Hey,” Pearl says. “Come on in! Sleepover at Bdubs’ time.”

“I can’t believe this is the last of our bases left standing. It’s, like, the worst one.”

“Hey!” 

“There’s no space in here!” To punctuate his statement, Joel slumps down against one wall, kicking Bdubs in the ribs as he does so. Bdubs grunts. “See?”

“It’s definitely not the most spacious…” Pearl acquiesces.

“Anyway. What were you guys doing before I came in?”

“Swearing loyalty,” Bdubs says. 

“Oh.” Joel blinks. “Do you need me to do that? Because I’m a Mounder for life. Loyal to the end.”

Bdubs and Pearl glance at each other.

“Somehow I actually believe him,” Bdubs stage-whispers, and Joel squawks in offence as Pearl barks out a laugh.

“No, I think you’re good,” she says. Leaning her head back against the wall, she says, “This is probably our final night.”

The three of them are quiet for a moment.

“Well,” says Joel. “We gotta make it to the end then, don’t we?”

He’s looking at Bdubs. They’re both looking at Bdubs. 

Bdubs nods.

“May the best Mounder win,” he says solemnly.

Joel grins.

[xiamentshoneypot]

What I’ll do | Jey Uso

Synopsis: Things change, people change and we all make mistakes, what matters is what we do to fix them.

WARNINGS: Cursing, graphic depictions on sex (hopefully vivid detail) ( usage of pussy, dick ect) drunken sex, p in v penetration, oral sex fem and male receiving, Unprotected sex( be safe)

Please let me know if I missed any

Enjoy

——

Cleopatra zoned out her whining cheating now ex- boyfriend on her phone not saying much of nah thing after blowing up her friends and families phones carrying on.

Rolling her eyes as she sat at her vanity re-applying her lip combo rubbing her plump glossy

“Yup” she said before hanging up and blocking the number she was going out tonight, she needed some fun in her life again.

“Girl I don’t even know why you picked up the phone for his ass anyway.” Her longtime friend Jazzy said walking over to the minor fluffing her hair.

“I don’t even know but how that’s over where we going?” Cleo asked standing up and checking her purse making sure she said everything.

“Out the Uber is here” she said taking Cleo hands making her smile.

“Damn it’s one of those nights.”

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Cleo’swrld

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I’m prettier than a mf hoes be looking okay

YkJazz they not fucking with you fren

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-

The music was hitting, the drinks starting to taste like juice bodies swaying to the music in the sea of people. Bryson tillers “Don’t” playing through the loud speakers. Cleo making her way to the bar getting ready to go home.

“Excuse me I’d like to pay my tab” She waved the bartender a quite handsome young man but not her type smiled back to her.

“Someone’s already paid it for you but I can get your card for you.” He said before reaching around to grab her things still confused.

“Can I ask who?” She asked with furrowed eyebrows.

“The guy In the VIP over there in the white windbreaker and the grills” he pointed in the dark section to the man on the couch in the sea of people around him. He was kind of hard to see but once Cleo’s eyes set on him she couldn’t take her eyes off him and by the looks of the staring contest they were having he couldn’t either.

Joshua didn’t know how long he had been looking at the beautiful woman sing and rap out, the way her body danced and her glossy lips moved it felt like everything was going in slow motion. That she was the only woman in the club deciding to man up he went over to the bar to pay her tab and hopefully bump into her in the sea of people.

Only was the contest broken when Jazzy came stumbling over. “hey girl Mozzy is here to get me are you going to be okay home?” Jazzy said giving a drunken smile pointing over to the entrance where Maurice stood looking over that them.

“Nah I’m okay boo I’m heading out to” exchanging a final “ are you sure” before She and mozzy was out looking back over to where the fine man was, and unfortunately she couldn’t see him anymore.

Taking the L and deciding to just go home she gathered her purse and stood to walk down the platform stairs in her heels. Only to miss a step preparing, to go face first she closed her eyes when the impact didn’t come she opened one eye and peaked. Earning a chuckle from a deep voice.

Suddenly aware of the bigger, stronger tatted arms around her face. Opening both eyes to see the fine ass man that paid her tab.

“You okay ma?” He asked looking her in her eyes snapping out of a daze she nodded her head. Then he let his grip on her waist faulted and she already missed having them there.

“Look I’m not trying to sound too forward but I just wondering if you wanted to get somthing to eat and chill for a bit?” He asked keeping eye contact.

“You promise you’re not a killer?” The girl with the big brown eyes asked again leaving him laughing.

“Nah but if it makes you feel safer my name is Joshua Fatu and I live in Pensacola, Florida.” He said quickly but firmly.

“Okay where are we going?” She bit back from looking at his juicy pink lips reminding herself that would be weird. Apparently not to Joshua because his eyes fell on to hers licking his before his deep voice rang out.

“Whereva’ you want ma”

-

Everything was going so slow and yet heated, you couldn’t get out of the car and into the hotel fast enough, getting the key felt like forever.

The heated kiss broken by the ding of the elevator, opening the door hands on her waist tapping her butt twice signaling for her to jump.

Carrying her to the bed laying her down, her back on the bed legs on Joshua’s shoulders, who was on his knees slowly lifting her dress and parting her legs looking deep into her eyes as he took his big hands up her thighs and taking her lace panties down her legs with his hands.

Placing teasing sloppy kisses around her wet lips, a soft whimper Cleo let out made Josh’s dick impossibly harder. “whatcha’ want ma” lips in a pout.

“Please Josh fuck me” immediately diving in josh holding her legs in place as he began hungrily eating her pussy. Sucking on her clit earning a moan from Cleo.

Taking his tongue and stretching all the way out and in her pussy hitting all the right places and discovering a few new ones. The knot in her stomach the high getting stronger and stronger from the stimulation.

“Give it to me” he mumbled into her wet heat and then she shivered as she squirted all over his face as she came and he lapped her her sweet juices.

Standing up he undressed himself in a hurry getting on the bed laying back, Cleo positioning herself between his legs before taking his long curved dick in her mouth.

Bobbing her head up and down pumping what she couldn’t fit in her mouth with her hands slurping him up. Eyes snapped shut, toes curling as she took his soul making a makeshift ponytail before he started fucking her face as he came deep down her throat.

Continuing to suck him up taking a step further taking his balls into his hands. Spit and cum dripping off of her chin down his balls his dick was still standing tall.

“I’m about to fuck you up” grabbing her placing a messy kiss to her lips before leading her to all fours before entering him.

“Oh fuck” Joshua moaned out feeling her wet spongey walls squeeze around his dick taking her two legs into his two hands then, his hands moved and gripped her ridden up dress as she threw her full ass back into his pelvis.

“Oh shit” she breathed out with each and every stroke the mountains of please resting in her stomach. “Yeah, you like that?” He asked taking his free hand to grab her jaw forcing her to look up at him.

“Huh ma? Whatcha say I can’t hear you?” He teased relentlessly beating up her pussy eyes going back and forth between her beautiful blissed out face and the creamy mess she was making over him.

“Fuck- I love it, please keep fucking me” she finally found her voice to say putting a devious smile on Joshua’s face flipping her over missionary style moving one of her legs over his shoulder going even deeper his tip kissing her g-spot her eyes rolled deep in the back of her head as she lost her voice once again as she came all over the him.

Not too long after Joshua came behind her filling her up collapsing beside her taking a rest as she began to fall asleep he grabbed a washcloth from the bathroom and cleaned the both of them up before getting in the shower and leaving.

-

Hi hi I know the ending was very abrupt (I feel like) I just didn’t know how to end it and I’ve been excited to start this fic hope you enjoyed.

[sprucewoodmpreg]

hi vaguely serious messy post about hermitblr and new members and just. letting everyone know that we’ve had history with cc interaction on here before that i think would be useful for people to learn about

Trafficblr/Hermitblr has seen a lot of growth lately, largely in part from people migrating over here from the DSMP side of MCYTblr. This in of itself is completely fine! New people jumping onto the bus with us are always welcome, and the growth of the community as a whole is really nice to see.

However, I have noticed a lot of these newer blogs sharing the same very specific behaviours, and if possible, I’d like to just make a few things about the community and our history clear. Because this isn’t DSMP, and the CCs here handle content creation and their own fanbases very differently to them.

While I’m not going to go in-depth on 2019 since I don’t have nearly as much information about it as other people do, I would like to say that back then, Hermitblr was kind of an active war zone. It was comparable to how Hermittwt is now, with infighting about shipping and similar topics being the norm (however in Hermitblr’s case many of these argument were far more personal due to the smaller fandom size). What I want to point out specifically however, is when one of the CCs, Cleo, was thrown into the community infighting. I don’t remember the specifics of it, but she was sent an ask asking about shipping, and her opinions on it, and eventually dealt with so much backlash that she was forced to leave the site entirely (this post here has a slightly more comprehensive summary, if need be).

I’m just a little concerned, because there seems to have been a slight increase in that demographic of people recently. Specifically, members of the community who want to rely on CCs to dictate what happens in fan spaces; for them to give us bullet point lists of what their exact boundaries are for every single situation.

This rarely ends well. As in, it almost always just causes infighting and hostility. There will always be people making content that will “break boundaries”, regardless of any creator’s wishes. However, this is usually mitigated by the fact that many of these CCs aren’t on Tumblr (at least not anymore....mostly). The problem arises when members of the community attempt to act as Heroes Of Justice, and go out of their way to send asks to other blogs, informing them exactly of how they’ve broken the boundaries of some 40 year old adult. This is all despite the fact that said adult will....never see whatever post went against their wishes. It just encourages policing and this weird superiority....thing, where despite the lack of content creators, people are still fighting to make sure that the site is clean from any possibly upsetting posts.

I say this all while also acknowledging that many of the creators in this sphere also don’t have a very comprehensive understanding of how fandom interacts with their “characters”. To them, “shipping” has always been RPF, and there are so many other aspects of the community that simply can’t be explained easily, as they haven’t been immersed in this culture like we have. This is to say that asking for “boundaries” is likely to get you a very confused and unhelpful answer, as the Hermits have always had a very different way of interacting and viewing their fanbase than the DSMP creators do. There is no “c!” or “cc!” to them, to put it simply.

Essentially, the Hermits are adults. They’ve been doing content creation for years, and I can guarantee you they’ve seen worse things in their lives than art of their Minecraft character kissing another Minecraft character. They’ve dealt with this shit before, and if they wanted it to stop, they’re free to make a post about it whenever want. And yet, they haven’t. They leave fandom up to us. Boundaries and rules and infighting and just...all of that? Let’s leave it to the Twitter users, please. Post what you want, make sure to tag your posts correctly, and we’ll all be fine. 

Also, while I’m going to try not to rehash any discourse about inviting CCs to Tumblr, I also do just want to implore you guys to consider that the environment on Hermittwt is partially the way it is because of the active presence of the Hermits there, with people flocking for attention or a single notice, and obsessively checking posts to make sure they’re not potentially “boundary-breaking” and such. Please just consider that many people are here to avoid the dynamics of that site. Tumblr is a site for fans, not for the CCs. So we create content here for ourselves, and not for them. Having creators join almost always leads to the culture of their fanbase on here changing, with content posted in the maintags being catered more towards them rather than the fanbase. (This isn’t to say that they can’t join!! But at least keeping in mind why many of us are here in the first place and weighing that against potential CC interactions would mean a lot).

I fear that my point may have been lost a little bit, but I hope my explanation at least brings a little bit of light to why many members of the community here are wary of Creators coming over to the site, and also of how many newer blogs tend to treat the CCs. Hermitblr has had some really bad history in the past when it comes to this stuff, and seeing newer fans bring over similar ideas from DSMPblr just worries me a little bit.

TL:DR - Just...please treat the Hermits like the adults they are, and keep in mind they have a very different dynamic with their fanbases to the DSMP creators. Asking for “boundaries” and granting CCs control of the fanbase will likely lead you nowhere; attempting to police fanspaces here just brings up bad memories of times when Hermitblr was a much more miserable place to be in. Plus, if you want CC interactions, please just go to twitter. Nobody here wants to deal with an attempted “cleanse” of the site to make it more palatable to CCs.

[tac-the-unseen]

What the Lost Boys think of vampire related media pt.2

After your last vamp media talk you had more questions you absolutely needed the answers to. Some of those answers came more naturally than you thought.

What we do in the Shadows:

-This is their absolute favorite show. It's just something they can all sit down to watch and get a nice laugh.

-David was actually the one that suggested it to the group

-He thinks it's about as close to what being a really vampire is like.

-You brought up your last conversation about why no vampire media could be so close to the real thing and he quickly responded with “Vampires are made up to be these gross demon creatures with no self control, when in fact most vampires were just normal humans going about their life.”

-He knew that no one in this show actually knows any vampires because of inconsistencies, but it's as close to it as they can all get without having to kill anyone for it.

-”Are you off your tits, boy?” “He is.”

-Paul quotes the show all the damn time (And so do the others but he is the main culprit.)

-you actually can't get him to stop

-”I became a vampire to suck blood and to fuck forever.”

-”No fuck off. Can't be side tracked with cheap sex potions.”

-Need an answer to any questions? Paul will respond with “Coprophilia.”

-Marko is giggling at Paul's quotes and answers with his own

-”Pizza pie” :D

-”He's my sweet cheese!”

-”She speaks the bullshit.”

-His favorite character is Nadja of course

-You have to pry him away from the T.V if you need him to do something else

-Dwayne will stop whatever he's doing if you offer to watch WWDITS with him

-He loves the historical references and gags

-He relates to Guillermo most of the time, being one of the voices of reason in his Chaos Coven

-”i was thinking w-” “we should finish each other off and tell no one?” “I’m game if you are.” ✨Spooky music✨

•This show is permanently engraved into their brain

•You can take the boys out of WWDITS but you can not take the WWDITS out of the boys

Hotel Transylvania:

-Paul squints at the T.V “This has to be a crime to watch.”

-Dwayne without turning away from the T.V “Dracula is going to go ape shit when he sees this “

-David eats his popcorn slowly “at least there is other monsters in this movie.”

-Marko is giggling at the Blob and Scream Cheese “I fucking love kids movies.”

-All of them hated the village scene though.

Kid vampire:

-They all watch it because Laddie wanted them too

-All you can hear for the next few days is “Kid Vampire!” in that accent

-David and Dwayne thought the bogger nose bleed drink was absolutely disgusting.

-Like to the point the both gagged.

-Paul thinks it a cute little project

-Marko likes how they say ‘blood’

-Dwayne uses the song “Vampire brush” to get Laddie to brush his teeth

Monster High:

-Marko and Paul sing the theme song semi consistently

-”Monster-monster high! monster high! monster-monster high! Freaky, sheek, and fly, monster high, where student bodies lay.”

-”We got spirits, yes we do! We got spirits, how bout you!?”

-This is another show they all watch with Laddie

-David isn't a raving fan, but he can stand it

-”Draculaura is a bit of a lazy name.” “Clawdeen wolf? Lagona blue? Cleo De Nile? Everyone has a lazy name because it's a kids show!”

-Dwayne is secretly into it and asks Laddie to watch it with him so he has an excuse

Thanks for reading <3

Yes I saw the comment you wanted me to see. Don't think I was ignoring you, I just had to find other media to talk about. (I stalk my own page like a Hyena. It's a little sad tbh lmao)

[gh0stsp1d3r]

ℳ𝒶𝓎𝒷𝒶𝓃𝓀𝓈 𝓈𝒾𝓈𝓉ℯ𝓇

Series Masterlist

Chapter 9 - they’re not you

Once you both pulled away for air again, you shook your head to yourself and turned your head away, embarrassed. He furrowed his eyebrows.

“I can’t do this, Rafe.” You told him, your heart raced and your hands got clammy.

"Why? Just because of your little brother and his friends? You're letting them run your life now?" he asked with a scoff, reaching out to grab your jaw and forcing you to meet his gaze.

“Stop, Rafe.” You slapped his hand away, he let your jaw go and held his hands up in defense.

“Fine, but the doors always open for you.” He said, putting his hands down. You stood up, and he did now as well.

“I’m being serious. I’m not doing this again, I broke up with you.”

“And I treated you badly, but I told you, I’m better now. Tryna be a better man, for-“ he continued, looking back at you now.

“For your dad, Rafe. Not for me.” You interrupted.

“And for you.”

“Yeah, right. You got girls practically lining up for you. Go fuck one of them.” You scoffed this time, going to open the door when he grabbed your hand, pulling you towards him again.

"But they're not you, y/n," he said, his voice filled with sincerity, which took you by surprise. You were speechless for a momenr, unable to form a response.

“I can’t, Rafe.” You repeated quietly.

“Give me one more chance.”

“Rafe…” you sighed. “I’m sorry.”

You both stared at each other, before you shoved his chest lightly, pushing him off of you and heading to the door.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

“Are you kidding me, Sarah? That doesn’t even make sense. Wards on the island? Like, the same island we are on, Sarah?”

“Yes, he’s back. Mm-hmm.”

“The second I see him, I’m turning him in, I swear.” Kiara sighed. “I don’t know how you do it. Every time I wanna complain about my dad I just think about your dad.”

“Oh, glad to be of service.”

“Works every time.”

It was silent before Sarah spoke up again.

“Hey, have you seen y/n? I went over to Ricky’s, and I didn’t even see her there.”

“No. Haven’t seen her, JJ, or John B in a while.” Kiara said.

“Weird.”

Sarah looked over, seeing Topper speaking to someone. She stared for a moment, before looking the other way, trying to avoid him.

“I didn’t know Topper was going to be here.”

“Sorry. My mom invited like the whole island.”

“Shit.”

“It’s not a big deal.”

“Shit.” Sarah repeated.

“I’ll keep him away.”

“Here’s the game plan, get the girls, go find Pope and Cleo, get down to South America as quick as possible, cool.”

“Seems a bit vague, I gotta say, John B. Also, me and my sister don’t got a passport, so-“

“Hey, look, don’t bore me with the details, all right? We’ll figure that out later. Hey, look at me.” John B whistled when jj looked over to see Kiara, staring for a moment.

“Yeah.”

“Gonna get Sarah. Gonna get Kie, little rendezvous mission. Back on the boat, get out of here.”

“Well, the other day, Mike and I got kind of got into a little bit of a tiff, all right? And if I go over there right now and Mike sees me, he’s not gonna let Kiara out of his sight, book. Mission blown, we can’t go down to South America.”

John B sighed, “look, just don’t get seen. All right?”

“You’re right. I’ll stay here.”

“No, no, that’s not what I was saying-“

“I got your six,” he hopped over, starting the engine of the boat.

“Yep. Great.”

“I’ll keep her running, dog, alright?”

John B sighed, walking off the dock and over to the party.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

“God damn, where can I get any harder shit?” You murmured to yourself as you walked through the party, a drink in hand.

Right now, you needed to get drunk. And fast.

You rummaged through coolers, until finally finding your drink of choice with a smile.

“Y/n?” Kiara asked, not expecting to see you.

“Hey, kie, hey Sarah!” You waved to them, going over.

“Where have you been?”

“Working, lurking,” you said with a shrug, downing the drink you had in your hand. Kiara and Sarah raised their eyebrows.

“I didn’t know you were invited.” Kiara said.

“I wasn’t. Shit, I need more than that. Is this a party or not?”

“Yes, it is.” Kiara said, handing you another from a cooler next to her.

“Thank you.” You popped it open.

Mr. Carrera stood on the stage and began to give a speech.

“I would like to thank my daughter…” he paused upon seeing you, remembering the argument you had with him and how you stole.

He cleared his throat before continuing, making a smirk fall into your face as you tipped your cup at him.

“But most of all,” he held out his hand for Mrs. Carrera, helping her get up on the stage. “Thank you, Anna… for 15 years. For making this restaurant a symbol of our life. I love you. Figure eight, the cut, everyone’s together here.”

You had to stop yourself from rolling your eyes and scoffing, just scarfing down another drink, before going to the cooler and grabbing another, and walking down the dock.

You took smaller sips this time, a stumble in your step as you walked. You looked at the sunset, before someone called out your name.

“JJ?” You furrowed your eyebrows, turning to see him on the boat.

“Shit, you look like a mess.” He said with a small laugh.

“I am a mess.” You told him, getting onto the boat with him. “What are you doing here?” You asked him, sitting on the seat next to him.

“Long story, basically Singh kidnapped Big John, and they’re somewhere in South America, now we’re trying to get everyone so we can go to South America.”

“South America?!”

“Yeah. Crazy, ain’t it?”

“Very! I can’t- I can’t go to South America!”

“Then don’t.” He shrugged, leaning back while acting nonchalant.

“I lost my other job going on your trip I can’t lose these.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.” You stood up, getting on the dock. You looked out at the water, standing before sighing and falling back into the boat.

“Knew you would.” He said with a laugh, you hit his side and he pouted, smile falling.

“Ow.”

“I didn’t even hit you hard!”

“Yes you did!” He said, standing up and going over to the fence.

“No I didn…” you trailed off, he furrowed his eyebrows and looked to where your eyes were.

“Shit.” JJ muttered under his breath, seeing Kiara walk towards the dock. He tried to hide behind the fence, but she clearly saw him.

“JJ.” She spoke, coming over to him. You sat back in the boat, watching the exchange with an amused smile. “I saw John B, thought you couldn’t be far..”

“I wanted to keep my distance. Wouldn’t want to ruin the party.” He pointed over to her parents.

“We were wondering where you guys ran off to. You okay?”

“No… Look, long story short, we’re mounting a full search and rescue mission right now because big John got nabbed.”

“What do you mean, got nabbe-“

“I said the same thing, Kie!” You told her, tipping the can at her.

“Shut up and drink your beer!” JJ told you over his shoulder, before turning back to her. “Kidnapped, snatched, abducted, that kind of thing. To South America by Singh. So we have to get down there as soon as we can.”

“South America? Right now?”

“Yeah, I know. It’s a long shot, but we’re making a plan right now.”

“I mean, you come in here after stealing from my dad like, hey, we’re all good let’s go to South America.”

You came up to them, listening to it. You scoffed at her words, she turned to you and furrowed her eyebrows.

“You’re seriously still stuck on that?” You asked her.

“Yeah, I am, y/n. And I never forgot how you stole from my mom.”

“Eh. I’ve stolen from a lotta people, hard to keep track at this point.”

“So, is that a no? Uh, you’re just gonna ghost us?” Jj asked Kiara, ignoring you.

“Jayj, I’ve been wanting to talk since we got off the island. We need to talk. It’s all I can think about. I just can’t do any of that right now.”

“Okay, so, you’re saying you don’t wanna be a part of the plan when big John is up for execution right now. Okay. Cool, that’s a no.”

“I can’t!”

“Cool, all right. That’s all I needed to know.” He turned back to the dock, before turning right back to Kiara.

“It’s just that- actually, one last thing, when you see Mike could you just let him know that I uh, don’t feel bad about the money clip? Okay? Just let him know I actually needed it. So thank him for me- us, actually.” He motioned to you and him, winking before walking off.

“Appreciate that. Thank you.” You told her with a smile, following behind your brother.

She scoffed, making both of you stop in your tracks when she asks.

“What is wrong with you? You’re really acting like you don’t care? I mean, seriously, you’re like, acting like I don’t care. Like, I love you dude.”

He was taken aback, you spitting out the beer you had into the ocean. He turned around, eyebrows furrowed.

“What?” He paused. “Kie, I mean, thanks. Okay, great, no, look,” he walked back over to her, you staying behind this time. “It’s not gonna work, okay? I’m gonna go help my best friend save his father. Maybe I’ll see you at the break when I get back.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

“If I get back.” He mumbled, grabbing your arm and practically pulling you over to the boat.

“What the fuck was that about?”

“I’d rather not talk about it right now, y/n.”

“Oh, shit, did you guys fuck?” You asked him, a little louder than intended, she heard it.

“Shut up, dude!” He slapped his hand over your mouth.

He just gave you a look, making your eyes widen and you prop your legs up. “Shit. Unexpected turn of events.”

——

“What happened, dude?” You slurred, walking with the two of them.

“She cheated, that’s what happened. After everything I’ve been going through, she’s off hooking up with Topper? I mean, what the hell?”

“Shit. Topper? She’s gotta be real low for that. He’s so… ugly.” You spoke with a snicker.

“You hooked up with Rafe for months. That’s not any better.” JJ retorted.

“No, there’s a difference. Because-“ you covered your mouth when you hiccuped. “Because Rafe isn’t hideous.”

“How many drinks has she had today?” John B asked, pointing to you.

“I lost count after 7.” You told him, hopping into the boat with JJ. “But I am sober enough to know the clocks ticking. Let’s just leave ‘em.” You shrugged. But John B wasn’t on the boat, and just stood on the dock.

“John B, what are you doing?” JJ asked when he saw him move, staring out as Sarah wrapped her arms around Topper. “Oh, don’t even think about it, dude-“

“Get in the boat, dude!” You exclaimed, he ignored the both of you and began to walk over to Topper and Sarah.

He was like a goddamn zombie, his anger controlled him as he walked over.

“Not right here, bro, not right here-“ Topper started, not looking for a fight.

Sarah got in front, but he pushed her off of him.

“We’re not doing this.” Topper spoke, John B shoving him.

“Feel good about yourself?”

“Stop!”

“You need to chill out, bro!”

They argued.

“I would just walk away.”

“Should we just… let him go at it?” You asked JJ, watching him push and shove Topper.

JJ didn’t answer, just watching.

“For once in your life, would you please just turn around and walk away?” Sarah grabbed him, turning him to her. He stared at her for a moment.

“Please. Please don’t.”

“Hey, no hard feelings bro.” Topper laughed behind him.

“We good?” He asked, and John b turned around to look at him.

John B socked him in the face, making you wince at the loud sound it made. Topper grunted as he fell to the ground, he shook his fist.

“You like that shit, Top? Huh? Huh?”

John B ignored Sarah as he grabbed Toppers collar, hitting him multiple times in the face, hard blows hitting his face.

“Shit.” You mumbled, both you and JJ running over to him.

Kiara’s dad pushed him off of Topper, he shouted at John B. You and JJ grabbed John B, pushing him away as him and Mike shouted at each other.

“Get off of him!” JJ shouted at Mike when he came too close to John B.

“That’s what I’m talkin’ bout! The three of you, get out of here!” He shouted.

“Fuck that’s supposed to mean?” You shouted at him, glancing back at him before focusing back on shoving John B away.

“You happy, Sarah?!” He shouted, both of you pushing him back onto the dock.

“She’s a cheater. That’s who she is. I should’ve known.” John B ranted as they walked on the dock.

“Any idea what you just did?” you mumbled to him. Suddenly, the drunkenness didn't seem so fun anymore.

“C’mon, we gotta go.” You motioned at John B as you untied the ropes, hearing sirens in the back.

The three of you sat in silence, your mind racing with everything you did in one crazy fucking day.

—-

Taglist

@cassie0sstuff @rafesgiirl @fals3-g0d @tiaamberxx @callsignwidow @saintnourah

[zabo-writes]

Mumbo is a God (He thinks everyone else is also a god, but that they’ve just been really good at pretending to be human)

Mumbo was beginning to suspect he was on the receiving end of a remarkably complex prank.

This put him in a predicament. Should he go along with it? He knew it was more fun if he did. If Mumbo Jumbo knew one thing, it was how to commit to a joke.

However, this had been going on for years now. Mumbo was starting to get one of those feelings in his gut that was the kind of gut feeling people describe when they say they have a “gut feeling” about something.

And being that Mumbo did not have a gut, or any human body parts for that matter, one could see why this was distressing to him.

Mumbo Jumbo was a god. Specifically, the god of redstone. All of the other hermits were gods as well. The crux of the issue here was that all of the other hermits had been pretending to be humans for about 10 years now. And by pretending, Mumbo meant seriously, seriously roleplaying. He’d tested it! There’d been multiple instances where he had tried to convince another hermit to break character and do something godly. And they never cracked!

Truly, Mumbo was impressed. He himself was not quite as unshakeable. There’d been a few moments where his facade had cracked: the time he accidentally made a perfectly circular pumpkin (big problem in a world made of squares), the time where he put too power into the redstone AI for grumbot and gave it an existential crisis, the incident where he may have slightly consumed Grian’s soul…

All that was to say, Mumbo wasn’t the best at pretending to be a human, but he was giving it his best effort. And it seemed like the other hermits, in some sort of years-long prank, were keeping up the joke until Mumbo got it right.

Well if that was the case, he’d finally caught on! Haha! Take that, other hermits! Mumbo finally figured out the prank where everyone else pretended for a very long time that they weren’t actually—

Gods.

Wait.

They were gods, right?

Scar with his magnificent terraining skills, Cleo with her armor stands…

And surely Grian was some sort of trickster god. Right?

All of his friends were so talented, he had simply assumed it was related to some sort of godly domain.

Come to think of it, did he have any confirmation that they ever were gods in the first place?

No, no, no… surely…

Mumbo paused his task of mindlessly mining out a very large area under his base. He blinked. The netherite pickaxe clattered as it hit the floor.

Oh, he was an absolute spoon.

———

Grian grumbled as he shuffled through every chest and shulker he owned for what felt like the billionth time. He could’ve sworn he left the materials to make a beacon somewhere around here. Did it “lag” into someone’s inventory again? He pulled out his communicator to put a message in the chat.

“Grian! Incoming!”

Grian looked up just in time to see Mumbo collide with his face, sending them both sprawling across the floor.

“Ah! Hello Mumbo, fancy seeing you here! Do you happen to know where my beacon is?” Grian laughed as he dusted himself off.

“This is not the time! Grian! Grian I’m having a crisis.” Mumbo lamented,

“Yes, so am I! My beacon is gone!”

Mumbo continued, undeterred, “Grian, I have a very important question for you, and I need you to be completely honest with me.”

“Okay?”

“What does your true form look like?”

“My what?”

“Alright, alright. So you know how I’m a god?”

Grian stated incredulously at the mustachioed man before him. “WHAT?”

Mumbo groaned and put his head in his hands. “No, I really need you to be honest. I’m a god, you’re a god, bdubs is a god… we all are, right?”

Grian was not sure how to respond to this. He was, to his knowledge, as human as they come. “I think this is a sitting down conversation.”

After a long, long chat inside of Grian’s bedroom, Grian felt he was finally understanding the situation. He was taking it pretty well! As well as one can take your best friend explaining to you in the same breath that he is a deity, and oh— by the way, he thought this whole time that you were as well.

“Okay, okay. Let me get this straight. You’ve been pretending to be human this whole time because you thought you had to?”

“I thought it was a game!” Mumbo exclaimed, burying his face in the pillows on Grian’s bed. “I thought it was a game, like an ‘I’m not going to kill anything for a season’ type of game!”

“Right, but in this case the game was ‘pretending to be human for multiple years without mentioning the fact that you’re a god’?”

“…. Yes.”

Grian cackled “Well, Mumbo, I can assure you, if that ever was a game, you’ve certainly won! I would never have suspected you.”

Mumbo nodded sagely. “Yes, it’s the mustache. A classic human disguise.”

“You don’t really have a mustache?!”

Mumbo cocked his head. “Grian, you’ve seen my real form! Or, a depiction of it, I suppose. The redstone god? From the buildswap we did?”

“That was ages ago! And wait, did you just make a self portrait for that prompt, then?!”

“Yes! That’s why I thought you knew!”

“Somehow that feels like cheating. I should go get Pearl and have her re-evaluate the results of that build swap with this new information”

A look of concern crossed Mumbo’s face. “Oh, I didn’t even think that. I’m going to have to explain this to everyone, aren’t I?”

Grian shrugged, “I’m sure it’s fine. Say, could I see your ‘god’ form, O great and powerful Mumbo Jumbo? Now you have me curious.”

“Well I could, but I might destroy your ceiling.” Mumbo looked up at the rafters sheepishly.

“Back outside we go then”

Safely on the grass behind Grian’s base, Mumbo transformed into his full form for the first time in what felt like ages.

The form was that of a large humanoid figure, as tall as Grian’s house, made of red terracotta and loose redstone dust that fell and scattered like sand with every movement Mumbo made. His eyes were two glowing redstone lamps that flickered with emotion, reminiscent of a certain robot they had built before.

It occurred to Mumbo at that moment that if his friends were truly human, this form might be quite scary to them. He knelt down to look at Grian, bracing himself to handle whatever fear was in his friend's eyes.

Instead, Grian was grinning like a madman.

“Oh, we are SO pranking Scar with this.”

[riacte]

Yeah yeah TNT trap but one bit of the stream that absolutely fascinated me was the neighbours solidarity between Ren Iskall and Beef. Ren and Beef freaking out over Iskall running back and targeting False if they ever let sight of him. Ren's brain having dived into a "it's us against them" mentality and being anxious around the mountain people because of course he does that, it’s his favourite hermit’s life on the line. Of course he would see as some sort of war even though nothing happened. Ren naming their voice chat group something boring and nondescript like “neighbourhood planning” so no one would join. He’s both still Ministering and keeping up with the theatrics by pretending to be in a so painfully boring meeting. Neighbourhood mafia boys trying to kill Bdubs (for False). Iskall being like lmao you guys are stupid. Lol. Anyways.

And it was so funny how when the trap was done, they were like ahhaha lol see you guys later. Or never. We never knew each other.

AND THEN BDUBS LOGGED ON.

Which naturally freaked everyone out. And what was fucking funny is that other people like Grian, Joe, and Hypno were online and aware of the scheme. They even made references to it in chat. Grian and Joe at least were watching Ren’s stream, because of course he was streaming a top secret operation (and Beef later was like WHY ARE YOU EVEN STREAMING and Ren was like 🥺 this is why I’m a bad reaper). But I don’t think anyone snitched. Everyone acted normal, if not nosy.

The part of the stream that charmed me and gave everyone the impression of “oh, we’re REALLY in it now” was when Ren was alone in his Gigahut and someone whispered to him about Bdubs being on. And those three neighbourhood members met up in Ren’s hut and just sat there panicking and talking about Bdubs. It was so tense. They were the image of three scared whimpering people huddled together on a sofa in the relative safety of their neighbourhood (far away from Bdubs’ trap). (On a side note, I’m always glad when builds are somehow the backdrop for dramatic and tense moments because the build instantly feels lived in and the space feels used. Like there’s a core memory attached to the build now.)

And in the end, they decided to venture out to spy on Bdubs. Which they did for an hour. With spyglasses and crouching. And Ren, good old Ren, was pushed centerstage because he was the second reaper to ever exist and still hadn’t gotten a kill AND he was dead set on supporting his False, and since it was the final two, Bdubs has to go.

Watching the hermitchat go by while those three were intensely studying Bdubs like a nature documentary was hilarious. Seemingly nondescript discussions. The trio panicking and then Grian sent out “have faith”, which might be in reference to G’s own fishing thing but the trio took it as a double message for their own plan (since G was watching the stream). All the whispering. It’s killing me. And False logging on, mostly unprotected (because they were all away!!) and Cleo being like yayy I have no allegiance to False I’ll blow up whatever <3 And False saying she needed a miracle and those three were like WE ARE TRYINGGG (False was aware the three were trapping). Ren’s refusal to say something in chat because he’s a red name and he’s tense.

Ren had to be the one to activate the trap (even though Beef was the one who suggested it and Iskall laid out the redstone). SO the other two had to leave him alone while they engaged Bdubs in discussion so Ren could sneak in and blow them up. Our poor reaper had to fly solo with 2.9k people on his stream. “It’s just you and me, chat”. He’s sat there for three hours. He’s missing dinner.

AND BEEF YELLING AT REN TO ACTIVATE THE TRAP WAS SO STRESSFUL. Even when the ruse was up, and even when Beef and Iskall were like hahaha Ren you SUCK so bad, Ren continued with his last shred of hope and absolute last shred of dignity. He lied. And Beef was probably like 👀 Ren hasn’t given up yet! Gotta distract Bdubs more!

I haven’t watched much Beef before this but now I’m quite charmed with him. He’s great with improv, fucking hilarious to bounce off with, and kept calm and steady throughout the operation. I love how him and Iskall had to hold Ren back from charging in like a madman and blowing himself up because doggy self sacrificial tendencies. Beef was the brains and common sense. And I love how supportive he was of Ren the entire time.

🥺 Beefrenskall. The trappers. The neighbours. Flying high their banner for False. Wanting to be a miracle for her. 🥺🥺🥺

[dmwrites]

“Yo.”

“Jev!” Gem said excitedly, clutching her phone to her ear.

“Gem?” Jev asked. “Did you get a new phone or something? I didn’t recognize the number.”

“I’m not in Hermitcraft right now, I’m away on another server.” Gem explained.

“Ohh.” Jev’s voice got distant for a second, like he’d pulled the phone away from his mouth. “Modded server area code, I see. Cool. So, what’s good, Gem?”

“Well, okay, so, it’s a bit of a complicated story so I’ll summarize it for you. Basically, I’m on this server, it’s a modded, oh wait you already said that, but yeah it’s a modded server run by Scott Smajor- you know Scott, right? Eh, that’s not actually too important to the story; so in this server we get different origins every time we die, and there are like six lives total, like a cat but… less, I suppose. Anyway, so first I was a swarm of bees which was super cute and so cottagecore, then I was a blaze and I was so hot, and now I just fell off a building and now I’m a slime! Like you!”

Gem took a deep breath and waited for Jevin to say something. It took him a few seconds to respond.

“Uh, yeah, okay, sorry, was just processing all of that word soup… so you’re a slime now, like me. That’s… what it comes down to?”

“Yeah!” Gem said with a smile.

“Well, slimes are the coolest mob out there, so, uh, congrats on that.” Jev replied.

“Yeah! I’m, like, translucent and colorful and I can produce children!” Gem said excitedly.

There was a very pregnant pause from the other end of the phone, so long that Gem had to check and make sure that she was still in the call.

“… produce children.” Jev finally repeated, sounding a little shocked. “Care to, uh, elaborate on that one?”

“I just like… I dunno, pop them out! Like cells reproducing. Do you produce children too, Jev?” Gem asked.

“I- hm, no, can’t say I’ve… no. Must be a modded thing.” Jevin said.

“Well, anyway, all of that silly stuff aside, I wanted to ask you an important question.” Gem continued. She looked out over her lands, a small frown coming to her face. “It’s important.”

“Okay…” Jevin replied cautiously.

“Are there any like slime secrets I need to be aware of? Slime code or something?” Gem whispered it into the phone.

Jevin snickered, then cleared his throat. “Oh, Gem, you called the right guy. Slime. Whatever. Yes, there is a very secret code of the slimes that must be obeyed by all slimes at all times.”

Gem gasped. “I knew it! What is it?”

“I dunno, Gem…” Jevin trailed off. “I mean, it’s super secret… and what if you turn into something else and then tell someone else our secret?”

“I promise! I won’t tell anyone!” Gem cried. “Oh, please, Jev!”

“Okay.” Jevin said. “Gem. The one and only code of the slime is as follows: all slimes must fart when they enter a room. It can be silent, it can be loud, but it must be a fart. For whole slimes, it’s easy, they practically make wet fart noises every time they move. For slimes like us, we just gotta fart.”

“Fart? Really?” Gem asked, frowning. “I never hear you farting when you walk into rooms.”

“Oh yeah. It’s very important to slime culture.” Jev said importantly. “If you don’t, other slimes will really look down on you. And I have mastered the silent fart, that’s why you don’t hear me.”

“Okay.” Gem said, nodding her head. “Farting. Every time I enter a room. Got it. Thanks Jevin! What would I do without you?”

——

“Who was that?” Cleo asked when Jevin sat back down next to her in Cub’s TCG arena.

“Gem. Who’s winning?” Jev replied, nodding at the TCG match between xBcrafted and VintageBeef below.

“On a numerical level, Beef. But on a spiritual level, xB.” Cleo replied. “So what did Gem want?”

Jevin snickered. “So she’s a slime origin on some modded server she’s playing on right now, and asked if there were any, like, rules of slimes. I just lied and told her that slimes have to fart every time they enter a room.”

Cleo cackled so hard that Joe Hills, who was moderating the game, threw a trident at her to shut her up.

“Oh my god, Jev! You didn’t! Gem is going to murder you when she finds out the truth.”

“Whatever. Worth it, tbh.” Jev replied, and joined Cleo in laugher.

[catherinnn]

Jealousy and fears

THIS FIC CONTAINS SPOILERS OF SEASON 3

JJ Maybank x fem!reader

summary: this is the scene where Sarah has to flirt with Topper to get him to help them get the cross, but instead of Sarah, reader is Topper's ex and JJ is her actual boyfriend and he has to control his jealousy. Plus, reader has to control her fear of losing JJ when the plan goes wrong.

words: 2.3k

“Honestly, the hardest part is gonna be security, all right? So most of the guys are gonna be at the rail yard” JJ states.

“Alright so, we'll need to find some place and guard it, maybe a little further down the line, like a whistle-stop” Pope responds.

“Yeah” Kiara agrees with the pair.

“You guys are getting ahead of yourselves, per usual. We don't have a way to transport the cross. What you think? On JJ's motorcycle?” Cleo says sarcastically.

“That's not my fault. Alright, all me” JJ responds to her.

“Okay, so other options…” Pope starts before Sarah interrupts him.

“Oh my god”

“Oh my god what?” Cleo asks.

“What” I ask and she points towards some behind me, on the top floor of the bar we’re in. We all turn around to the direction she’s pointing at and we see Topper talking with one of his friends.

“Oh god” I cringe and I lower a little on the chair I’m sited on, trying to avoid him seeing me. Topper was my ex-boyfriend before I left him for JJ. To this day he keeps texting me every day and calling every now and then, he truly didn’t know how to take a hint.

“Is that topper?” Pope asks and JJ rolls his eyes.

“Yup” Sarah answers.

“Why is he like, everywhere?” JJ says.

“Maybe he’s following you” Kiara tells me joking.

“Perfect. Hey, Sarah.” Pope starts.

“What?”

“I bet you topper has a way of transport the cross” he suggests.

“Actually pope's right. He does have a rig” she confirms.

“No” I say already knowing where they’re going with this.

“Yes”

“No, absolutely not”

“Yes, come on, you already got him whipped anyway so why don't you just take one for the team?” Sarah suggests.

“Wait, tell me you’re not suggesting what I think you are” JJ speaks.

“She could flirt with Topper a bit so he would give us his truck to transport the cross” Sarah confirms and he clenches his jaw in frustration.

“Come on JJ, you know it would work” Kiara tell him.

“Why does she have to be the one doing it?” he complains.

“He’s not gonna agree if we ask him, but if she does...”

“Sarah said it, she’s got him whipped, not us” Kiara explains.

“What do you say?” you ask him.

“I’m not really excited about the idea of my girlfriend flirting with another guy who’s literally in love with her” he jumps.

“I thought you would understand. Think about the circumstances, it’s about the treasure” Pope tells him.

“We can handle JJ, just go talk to him” Kiara says to you.

And as you go up the stairs and greet Topper, they all stay at the bottom of the stairs, close enough to watch but not so close that Topper would see them.

“I can’t watch this” JJ starts, “Actually I have to watch so I can go break his nose if he oversteps”

“Shut up and pay attention” Kiara demands.

“I just can't believe you're here, I texted and called. How are you? You okay?” Topper says.

“You know, Top, things are a little tough right now” you answer.

“Yeah, tough how?” he asks. You look over his shoulder to see your friends watching expectantly the scene. JJ has a straight face, clearly not enjoying this, you weren’t either.

“We’ve been after this… family heirloom of Pope’s which is why we were gone and we ended up losing it, and unbelievably there might be a chance that we could get it back tonight, in Wilmington” you start explaining and he looks at you with all of his attention nodding at every word you say.

“Okay, how can I help?”

“No, I can’t ask you to do that” you play dumb a little so it wouldn’t be too obvious why you were here.

“No, seriously”

“Topper, I feel like if I ask you I'd be- I don’t know, it’s just- you're such a giver, Topper, you're such a helper”

“That's just how I am, that's just the way I was raised. And either way, remember when I said I would do literally anything for you? Remember that?” he says.

“Yeah”

“I meant it” he says confidently and you start to feel bad about taking advantage of him. You look over his shoulder again at the group where you see JJ signalling you to hurry up. “When I say something I mean it”

“We could… really use your truck” you finally ask.

“My dad's truck? Oh my god, he would literally kill me, he’s like super careful with it"

“So are we, we're super careful”

JJ grimaces in annoyance at her.

“We’ll take such good care of it”

“You put me in a tough spot, I- I know I said I would do anything but…” he hesitates so I move closer to him, start caressing his shoulder softly and we share an intense look where I try to hide my fear of him trying to kiss me, or JJ having enough of this and punching him for getting too close. Or both, really.

“I'm so sorry about everything. I totally understand, you have no reason to help us” I play dumb again.

“Why do I feel like I'll regret this?” he says with a smile. I give him a big smile and hug him excitedly. I can see the guys celebrating quietly and JJ rolls his eyes and shakes his head trying (and failing) to hide his smile.

After arranging the plan right we all go to our places. I go with Topper and Sarah on the truck, JJ and Kie go on his motorcycle and Pope with Cleo go on the train.

Before getting in the car, JJ, Sarah, Kie and I wait for Pope to give us the signal that he is on the train.

“What’s taking him so long?” Sarah complains. We can see Topper pacing around the truck nervously, JJ gives me a look making fun of him and we both laugh. A few minutes later we see Pope up on the train and giving us the signal to move to the next part of the plan. JJ gives him a thumbs up.

“That’s it, we’re green” Kie confirms and then suddenly we hear the train horn blaring.

“What's happening” I ask confused.

“You hear that?” JJ asks too and we can hear brakes hissing and metal clanks

"Train's moving, train's moving" JJ confirms now.

“Shit, shit”

“Hurry up”

I run to the truck. “Hey” Topper says nervously.

“Do you have jumper cables in there?” I ask him.

“Do you have an idea that I am here involved in illegal activities?”

“I'm not even close to being okay with this”

"It’s not that illegal"

"Okay"

“Jumper cables? What are we- what we doing with these?”

"Topper, if you don't wanna go, its fine. We’ll take the truck"

The rest of the guys show up behind us.

“Hey, I just wanna make sure everyone here is okay ending up in federal prison” Topper says.

“If it gets to that, yeah, I'll do it for pope” JJ responds and I laugh with him. I get the cables from the truck and give them to JJ, he looks at me as if he’s asking me if I’m ready, and I nod at him.

After JJ and Kie get the traffic-lights to go red, the train is stopping. That’s our signal to drive to the train.

"What the hell are we doing right now, this is ridiculous" Topper complains. And then we get next to the door where pope was signalling us to park next to.

"Right here" Sarah and I go out of the car and up the train to help. "How’s it looking?"

“Still searching” Cleo tells us.

“You see it?” Pope asks her.

“Hey, this one says Cameron” she answers.

“This is it, this is the cross, this is it!” he jumps exited.

“Hey, hey, what are we doing here?” Topper shows up and asks us.

“We'll put this in your truck bed”

“That's gonna scratch the paint!”

“No, no, it's fine” I say even though I have no idea.

“You’ll be able to get a thousand paint jobs after we do this” Pope tells him.

“This thing right here?” he asks.

“Just help us spot it”

We start moving the heavy box with the cross in it towards the car.

“Topper help me!” I shout.

“Just push it this way, my dad's gonna kill me” he complains.

“Guide it, hurry up, let's go”

“Don't mess up the cross” Pope warns.

“Don't mess up the truck” Topper warns too.

“Stop! Hey, stop!” we hear an officer shout at us.

“Shit, we gotta go”

“Hold it right there!” He shouts again.

“Cops! Come on”

“The cops are coming, let's go!” We get the box on the truck and we get in the car.

“Push it, Chewie!” Pope yells from the back.

“Go!” Sarah tells him. He starts driving.

“How the hell can you live like this? You come from a good family” Topper tells me.

“Just drive!” I respond. He drives and passes the train.

“We got somebody on us” Topper warns.

“That’s JJ and Kie” Sarah confirms. JJ moves the motorcycle right next to the car.

“JJ! What is he doing?!” he asks me.

“I don't know” I say.

“Topper, keep going straight!” JJ shouts.

“Y'all be careful. Alright?”

“Topper hold it steady” I say.

“I'm trying!”

We see Kiara getting up on the bike and Pope trying to grab her.

"Kie! What are you doing?!" She jumps into the truck and Pope grabs her.

“Oh shit”

“Oh my god”

“Are you good? Did she-did she make it?” Top asks. I nod not being able to get words out from the adrenaline mixed with fear. I see JJ stopping the bike behind us, in front of the police car.

“Okay. Maybe he's just trying to get rid of the cops” Topper comments.

I can't take my eyes off of him, fearing his impulses until he throws a rock at the police car braking the window.

"He did it! They’re chasing him!" Pope shouts.

“Topper stop! Stop the truck” I ask him.

“I'm not stopping the truck”

The guys shout at him to stop the truck.

“We're going to get JJ!”

“Come on man!”

“I'm not going to jail for him, no chance!” He shakes his head.

“Stop the truck, please” I ask him quietly, my voice breaking. He sees the fear on my face and he agrees.

“All right, all right, damn it”

“Turn around”

“I'm not- I'm not going to jail”

“Topper look at me. They’re gonna arrest him, we can't leave him behind”

“Damn him, damn” He turns around and drives.

“Go faster, you need to go faster”

“I'm trying, I'm risking my whole life for this shit”

“It’s gonna be fine”

“Turn left!” Pope directs.

“No! I'm getting out of here” he states.

“Topper!” I take the steering weal off of him and turn it left.

“No way, he's up on the overpass” Sarah says and the next thing we see is the motorcycle falling off of the overpass right in front of us, getting absolutely destroyed. We all gasp we get out of the truck to run and look for him.

“J!” I say panting, “J! Where is he?!”

“Shit!”

“no, no, no, no”

“JJ?!”

I start crying. “Where is he?”

“Maybe he's up on the bridge” pope suggests.

“No, no, no” I start sobbing.

“I wish I could say I did that on purpose,” I hear his voice behind me. I get up and he looks right at me. “But that was the gnarliest power-slide I’ve ever done”

“You're alive!!” Pope shouts and hugs him. “Dude!”

“I know, I'm surprised too”

“Shit that was gnarly” Topper says.

Sarah pushes him and starts hitting him on the chest “Oh Jesus, Oh God” he complains. She hugs him tight. Kie goes after her and warns him that’s she’s going to kill him while she hugs him too.

“This is really nice and all but we should really get out of here” Cleo says.

“Yeah, yeah, let's roll” Topper agrees.

I don’t listen to them, I look at JJ with tears falling from my eyes still, I get closer to him and he looks at me waiting for my reaction.

“Don’t... don't ever do that again” he manage to say. He lowers his head without his eyes off of mine, his hands come to my waist but before he could get any closer we hear a cop shouting down at us.

“Hey, hey you kids don't move”

He grabs me and we start running to the truck.

“Stay right there! I said stay right there!” the officer shouts again. We get on the car quickly and Topper starts driving getting us out of there. Later we realized it was all for fucking nothing because the cross was fake, there wasn't any cross on the box.

After reassuring Pope that we will find the real one and thanking Topper, JJ and I go to my house where I sit on my bed grabbing my head trying to process everything that just happened.

JJ moves around my bedroom doing the same. “You realize it was all for fucking nothing, you- you had to flirt- I had to watch you flirt with that idiot for fucking nothing” he complains. I look at him as if he’s crazy.

“You do realize I thought you fucking died for a minute there, and all of that was for nothing too. I don’t fucking care about Topper! I thought I lost you, JJ!”

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry baby, I got down there as fast as I could and then everybody started hugging me and I just wanted to get to you, and then that fucking cop came. I’m sorry, I’m sorry it all happened that way” he hold me tight. “I love you, I’m sorry”

“I love you, I don’t know what I would have done without you” you try not to cry all over again.

“I’m fine, okay?” he asks and I nod, he kisses me and the rest of our night goes on holding each other tight as if it was the last time. Luckily, it wasn’t.