#what if hazel just fucking killed nico

[hazellvsq]

ghost quartet au: hazel as rose red and nico as pearl white and leo as the astronomer and frank as the bear

[sunflowersandscreams]

sick brain makes me think abt orchestra au Bianca and nico and hazel hmmm microwaving them in my mind hmmmmm

[nepobabyeurydice]

wait actually let me explain how stupid the timeline for CJ is.

Jason is given to Lupa at 2

We time skip and Jason already in the fifth cohort this happened sometime between his 4th birthday to twelfth.

Reyna arrives one year later, Octavian is presumably a already there too along with Dakota, Gwen & Bobby.

The Charleston quest happens with Reyna and Jason and (?) either Jason or Reyna are already centurion or (?) is

Jason strangles the Trojan Sea Monster

…Either Jason or Reyna become Centurions or both if the (?) was the centurion on the quest.

At ~15 Jason is scouting with several others to storm mount Otherys, Reyna is presumably a few months into be being praetor despite it being only three years despite long-timers Jason and Octavian who are very influential just not having that position.

Same three days as TLO the Romans storm Mount Otherys, presumably losing many people and having no ‘hey claim your fucking kids’ should lack the ability to make up the numbers.

~Jason is made Praetor, probably after hacking Krios to bits with zero godly intervention except maybe Hera at one point. (save jason and kill thalia type of deal which fits her)

~Two weeks later Nico shows up with Hazel and Thanatos goes missing around the same time (no one died in that time? Not from festering wounds or attempted suicide after the battle they just witnessed??)

~December, Jason goes missing could also be late November for Hera to properly gaslight Leo and Piper and get them in place.

No one goes looking for Jason despite it being 3 days to a month of him being gone outside of California because *superstition*

Presumably, the Camp continues to function for 7-9 months without a 2nd Praetor especially one of their more powerful ones with direct ties to Juno just not being there

Hazel becomes a full blown member (the good shit)

Frank arrives two weeks after his mom’s funeral….That’s not long enough?? Percy probably stayed with Lupa for at least a month for him to learn all that, Frank should be there later than Percy, the same time as Percy or Rick should fix his timeline issues.

All of Jason’s work for the past 6-12 years has just vanished into thin air in 7-9 months and no one tries to hold on to his ideas for camp.

Yeah, I don’t completely understand the timeline either. The first 10 years of Jason’s CJ is so mysterious and we don’t even know what was Reyna’s cohort or centurion despite it probably playing a role of why she so quickly rose to praetorship. I personally go with her Cohort being the Second and her centurion being a descendent of Jupiter and later on Bellona giving him some weight to put behind Reyna as his successor.

Frank’s little timeline weirdness is mostly not taking into account the distance between Canada and California along with the timeline Rick gave Percy who is usually the prodigy in picking up skills. This is why i’m trying to pepper in events in my HOO collection on Ao3 because there is nothing. Fucking nothing and it’s stressing me out.

[phoenix--flying]

pjo characters as things my friend group has said

Hazel: I just kinda radiate towards caves

Nico: Breathing has been taken out of Nicos software

Connor: I can speedrun to your house when you're home alone

Cecil: raisins are dehydrated rats

Percy: It's a roller coaster where the only option is to die

Will: I just goooot- my jugular sliced open by a cat

Nico: We're going out tonight and killing all the homophobes. Call it a date

Will: Why am I so much taller then- Oh its cause im standing on a dead body

Connor: You're sooo welcome. I literally did nothing

Hazel: Just because your trash doesn't mean you can't do great things. It's called a trash can not a trash cannot

Piper: Cut my hair, I'll cut your throat

Thalia: Sometimes I do slap kids

Travis: When I grow up I'm gonna be a legal drug dealer

Beckendorf: I’m going to drop kick myself into space

Malcom: Briefly describe three applications that make use of the total eternal reflection of light Connor: The colour seven

Grover: Percys reaching old age, we should put him in a retirement home

Piper: Leo what did you do Leo: I may have burned down an orphanage and it may have spread to this site.

Lou Ellen: Travelling, usually done on the ceiling

Will: Imagine sitting on your couch watching TV and your phone buzzes. Reminder: Breathe

Austin: i just broke an acorn.. panic whY IS THERE AN ACORN IN MY ROOM

Nico: i feel like today happened yesterday and i just slept for all of tomorrow and woke up in the evening

Malcom: yeah i fell down the stairs and broke my spine in 3 places Connor: that's hot

Jason: Nitroglycerin. The forbidden smoothie

Will: I always look like trash. Annabeth: I know that's why I hate looking like trash

Travis: well we only have a few minutes left of class.. y'all wanna watch something explode

Piper: It sounded like you smoked 10 packs of cigarettes and then hit puberty

Jason: Imagine you get fired the day after you die

Nico: My stomach just like...started learning German

Nyssa: Leo if you don't leave, i'm shoving this desk fan up your ass

Jason: I slammed my foot on the accelerator, running multiple red lights at 220km/h, because I wanted to drive safe

Nyssa: When you go through the car wash but you forget the car

Drew: *points at trashcan* That looks like you

Nico: I only want chemistry between me and a coffin

Jake: Gotta put your wheelchair in 4Wheeldrive. Outdoor mode. Off-road mode

Leo: Murder is ok as long as its fine

Percy: Maybe if I fall asleep on my textbook I'll wake up with all the knowledge

Connor: Let's play spin the bottle but it's only you and me

Leo: Now how do we calculate the density if swiss cheese

Clarisse: I have to ask one of the experts Chris: Who are the experts? Clarisse: I don't know

Piper: Your mom is on vacation Leo: well- she's on a permanent vacation

Michael: AYO BITCH YOUR FOODS FLAMIN THE FUCK

Silena: If you're slow I'm a fucking snail

Jason: We need to hold a funeral! Percy: Here comes the bride

Beckendorf: Have you ever died? No??? Well here you go!!! Death simulator. It’s permanent!

*Annabeth and Percy sitting on a bench with drinks and a cop drives by* Percy: What if they thought we were drinking and driving Annabeth: We're not in a car

Will: I'm so smart Nico: Oh my god since when

Piper: *gives Leo a singular goldfish* Piper: Feeding the poor

Lou Ellen: Bless your soul Nico: What soul? Lou Ellen: ...good answer

Sherman: an apple a day keeps the doctor away, and anybody else if you throw it hard enough

Connor: I can see the veins in my eyes

Ellis: Whatever sinks your boat!

Cecil: You can't kill the gays if the gays kill you first

Will: dude sorry there's a knife in your grandma's face it grew wings and flew there :( Cecil: I’m sorry my knife flew out of my hand and slit that guys throat then burned it so he wouldn’t bleed

Silena: *playing Minecraft* I walked into your house and your birds started aggressively dancing at me

Lee: That's just so unfortunate for me. That is just so- oh I died

Percy: Wanna go to Toronto? Why drive just take the Earth Quake on natural disaster

Travis: The roof is just caving in on us it's fine

Michael: My arms are broken, my legs are broken, my lungs are broken, my knees are broken, I got decapitated when I was five

Connor: We're gonna die? No we're gonna beat the speedrun world record

Cecil: Hell to go down I there

Will: Mask to mask resuscitation

Travis: I may or may not have accidentally dropped a match in the building on purpose

Nico: Minecraft but I accidentally sets a school on fire

Percy: Minecraft but I die of hypothermia

Piper: Minecraft but I left my eyes at home

Jake: Minecraft but my legs are broken

Jason: Minecraft but I died

Lou Ellen: Minecraft but we're all gay

Will: If I die the game is homophobic

Cecil: Minecraft but I run my best friend over

Nico: I wanna hit a citizen with a baseball bat

Michael: Hey sir, you have Alzheimer’s. Would you like a side of bronchitis?

Silena: Why can't this be straight? Lee: Because you're not

Lou Ellen: mmmm i love my jesus fish Cecil: bro jesus fish Lou Ellen: ikr, jesus moment

[mediumgayitalian]

fic rec friday 10

hi!! welcome to fic rec friday. every week, i pick five fics i have bookmarked and rec them with a little review. check them out!

something borrowed by @rosyredlipstick

In the Solace Wedding Planning agenda, on the fifth page into their summer schedule, there are carefully scrawled out notes reading this: Bride and Groom - Hazel Levesque & Frank Zhang Best Man & Maid of Honor - Percy Jackson & Piper McLean Wedding Court - Annabeth Chase & Jason Grace Mellie & Gleeson Hedge Reyna Ramírez-Arellano & Leo Valdez Ring-bearer - Chuck Hedge Flower-boy - Nico di Angelo - Will plans wedding and now, apparently, Nico stars in one. Except...sometimes there's a bit more confusion on that last part. AKA the AU where Will plans weddings and thinks Hazel and Frank are going to have to cutest, gap-toothed ten year throwing flowers down the aisle, all while wondering why this 'Neeks' guy is always hanging around, and what business he has looking that good.

yes i am back on my rosyredlipstick (dude she's GOOD okay). however this one is my favourite i think. this is the kinda story you could use to explain to people what dramatic irony is bc LORD i wanted to SHAKE THEM 😭😭 will falling like deeply in love with nico and being intensely stressed about everything the whole time is so real and on brand. i love him and i love the fond exasperation that just bleeds from this fic its GREAT

2. Rental Love by @rosyredlipstick

*Read Terms & Conditions - Male/22/Long Island N.Y.C. Tired of showing up stag at holiday events? Want your family to stop thinking there’s something wrong with you? Just want some arm candy for a work event? Look no further. Your solution is here! I will attend holiday events with you as your paid date. Accepting all genders as applicants. Email solace.w@fastmail.com if interested. Interview & application will be set up there. - Nico di Angelo has been telling Hazel Levesque about his boyfriend for weeks. The bad part? Nico doesn’t have a boyfriend, the holidays are coming up, and not all of Jason’s ideas are horrible. They’re all a bit surprised about the last one.

THE LEVEL OF STUPID THAT THEY ARE...😭😭 kills me fr. like this whole fic is just a manifestation of truly one of the best tropes of all time…..like what if we took a hallmark movie and made it gay as all hell. iconique indeed

3. A Match in the Making by @coconutcranberries-blog

“You’re a morning person,” Nico muttered, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his palms. He ran a hand through his black hair, which stuck up in disarray, the same way it did every morning. He was a mess, and Will Solace looked annoyingly put together, and Nico didn’t even care, really, he didn’t.

friendship is the core of romance!! it is!! every time!!! and it's such a core in this fic....which is fucking??? ten years old??? im just realising?? jesus christ??? anyways. "Nico had the sudden, warm feeling that Will Solace had never bought his act." i YELLED

4. Perception by scorchedtrees

In which everyone thinks Nico and Will are together.

i love this trope i love it SO BAD. both ways. when your love is so obvious that no one misses it.....love to see it truly. and will can have one second of beingn smooth and not a dweeby loser. as a treat

5. the world is brighter than the sun now that you're here by @finalizer

It was hard, Nico eventually concluded, to maintain one’s air of spooky otherworldly detachment with a blinding ray of sunshine trailing one step behind him every minute of every day.

grouchy nico my beloved truly. honestly hes such a bitch i love him like "Seriously, give the guy a perm and a few cats and he’d be that weird aunt that everybody avoided around the holiday season." why does he ALWAYS have something vile to say 😭😭 hes a mood fr

thank you for joining me this saturday friday!! happy reading!!

[happyk44]

Percy: I don't get it - why would your siblings even want to "manage" us?

Nico: It's not that we ever wanted to deal with you like a person trying to domesticate a bunch of feral dogs. It's more like we had to do it because no one else was capable. Kind of like how my dad doesn't want to have to go Olympus to be mediator whenever your dads start fistfighting each other, but he does it anyway because Hestia is begging and if he doesn't, the world will probably explode and then the Underworld is going to be way busier than it already is and he's already got so much on his plate, he doesn't need more.

Thalia: I think you're exaggerating here, Nico. I can't imagine our siblings have always been at each other's throats to the point we need one of you to step in all the time. I mean, Percy and I worked together just fine during the last Titan war!

Nico: Okay, well, first of all, people who can work together can still want to kill each other. They aren't mutually exclusive. Case in point: both your dads whenever they think my dad is wrong or get mad about the same dumb thing. Also all siblings everywhere in the world. I would know - yesterday I helped Hazel decorate her room at Dad's house, and wanted to strangle her with the string lights because she was making fun of my room because I was making fun of her room.

Nico: Secondly, camp now has a giant crater that definitely wasn't there before, and I had to be called to shadowtravel from California because no one else could get through the storms you made or make either of you listen.

Nico: Also I can and have talked to a lot of our mortal siblings who frequently warned me about this exact scenario and were extremely relieved that neither of you would be living at camp together long-term, so your thoughts and opinions mean nothing to me right now.

Thalia:

Thalia: Fuck off.

Percy: I just want to say that I believe you, and I would never dismiss you or curse you out like she did just now. I think that was very rude of her, and she should be the one who stays tied up, while I am let go.

Nico: I know the fight was your fault, Percy.

Percy: What! I have no idea what you're talking about. I was just being my usual kind, polite self and she blew on me for no reason.

Nico: I can see your soul, Percy, I know you're lying.

Thalia: Ha! Idiot.

Percy: Shut up.

Nico: I need you both to stop talking to each other for the next ten days.

[starlightshadowsworld]

Percy: I will say, glad Camp Half-blood doesn't have a Lupa. Cos 12 year old me, yeah I'd have been fucked.

Frank: She's something alright.

Hazel: Got that right. I swear mine felt like it took forever but it was only a few days.

Frank: Same here.

Percy: One of the longest weeks of my life.

Jason: What are you guys talking about?

Frank: Just our tests with Lupa. Say, what was yours like?

Percy: Oh, oh this I gotta hear.

Jason: Test?

Hazel: Yeah, you know the test Lupa gives every Roman demigod.

Jason: Which one?

Frank: Er, the one where she tests our skills and worth.

Jason: No I get that but which one of the tests do you mean?

Percy: The test, the one test we did.

Jason: Oh, you guys just had one?

Percy:... What did you do?

Jason: My mum gave me to her when I was a toddler and so she raised me. Chuckles It was pretty much tests from day one.

Frank:... You were a toddler and you did, the same tests we did, heck you did more so... As a toddler

Jason: I mean when you put it like that it sounds bad.

Hazel: It is! That is so fucked!

Percy: Jase... I found that hard, now... How, how did you do that?

Jason: Shrugs I mean, kinda had too if I didn't pass she would've killed me soo... You know.

Percy:.. Okay so I'm adding slay a wolf goddess to my list.

Hazel: And mine.

Frank: Same here... What the pluto man...

Jason: I mean we all did it.

Hazel: Not like that! That is so wrong on so many different levels.

Nico: Why's everyone yelling?

Reyna: Yeah we can hear you from across camp.

Percy: Jason was just telling us he did his tests with Lupa from 2 years old.

Reyna:... What...?!

Frank: And if he failed, she'd have killed him.

Nico:...I'm gonna get the Greek Fire.

Reyna: Wait for me.

Jason: Don't you guys think you're overacting.

All: NO!

Reyna: You say that again and I'm telling your sisters.

Thalia: Telling us what?

Annabeth: Yeah, what's going on?

[via-rant]

Some opinions on PJO/HOO!

. First and foremost, The Lost Hero is a great fucking book! Y'all just don't like it cause Percy's not in it.

. Also Percy shouldn't have been one of the main characters, neither should Annabeth! The other two should've been Nico and Reyna! Who should've gone down to Tartarus? Leo and Piper! There could've been a lot more depth to Leo's powers and Leo's and Pipers relationship could've been a hell of a lot more expanded on! Platonically, of course.

. I hate people who say "Piper was so useless!" None of it could've happened without her bitch! Leo and Jason would've killed each other at Medeas place! This woman put Gaea back to fucking sleep I don't wanna hear it!

. Hazel isn't 'uwu' 'couldn't hurt a fly' SHE KILLED A GIANT BY HERSELF AT 13 AND CURSED OUT NUNS!! SHUT UP!!!

. SAME WITH FRANK!!! HE'S NOT ALL INNOCENT EITHER!! HE'S A DAM PRAETER FOR A FUCKING REASON!!! Also so many people are like "Leo insults him so much!!" Honey they insult each other! They argued!! Arguing goes BOTH WAYS!! Also character development happens people!! They got better!! Stop it!!

. I've only seen like 1 or 2 people say this but Lester is NOT a P3do! "He's 4000+ years old-" yeah in a 17 year olds body. He has actual hormones and Mortal shit now, having a small crush on Reyna does not make him a fucking p3do!! You wanna talk about a real p3do let's talk about Luke!! Or how Poseidon got Sally pregnant at 19???

. Adding to that yes Calyso is a p3do!! It's not the same as Lester!! Lester was thrown right into this teenage body, as a Mortal, he didn't have any experience with knowing how to do ANYTHING Mortal!! Calypso had thousands of years of maturing!! She's physically 15 but mentally she's like 10,000+!! Even if you skip that part, Caleo is still toxic! They fight all the fucking time!! If you think that's healthy, you've been brainwashed by the herteronormative agenda!!

. All the Gods are shit except Hestia, Apollo, Artemis and Hades!

. Leo is the main main character period!! Gaea went after him at 8 because he was destined to destroy her and she knew that!! Hera herself babysat him to train him for it!! If that's not main character energy, idk what is!!

. Jason isn't boring!! There are many times he made snarky comments or jokes that were actually funny!! And even if he didn't how would you feel if you forgot everything from the start?! I would be boring too!! (Also he's autistic.)

-----

I'll add more later if I think of any but here.

[freddie-77-ao3]

Percy Jackson-esque Chapter Titles for a fic i'm writing:

We have friends in holy places (and unholy- Hello Lady Hera!)

What’s Up, Random Person, We’re Kidnapping and Adopting You

Yeah, The Beach Is Nice- Thank You For Not Drowning Us

Hazel Was Dead and Still Knows More Than You

Thank Fuck For The Egyptian- How the Hell Did We End Up In Great Britain

Annabeth Is Obsessed and Bianca Is Possessed- There Goes Christmas

Question Of Our Lives and Today Especially: What The Hell Is Going On?!

Now Would Be A Good Time To Be Anyone Else

Call The Police Because We May Have Just Murdered A Mortal

Ask And You Shall Receive… Sometime In The Next Twenty Years Probably

A Guinea Pig, A Dandelion, A Pine Tree, An Olive Tree and Two Embarrassed Girls Walk Into A Bar  

Satan Or Santa? Neither Should Exist And Yet Somehow They’re Both Knocking On Our Tent Door

A Slight Reprieve From The Last Chapter: Connor Comes For You With The Question ‘Do Tents Have Doors?’

And We’re Back, Why Did You Guys Think Our R&R Would Last Long?

Sugar, Spice, Almost Dying Twice (Today)

Would You Put ‘Cheating Death Almost Daily’ Under Experience Or Special Skills?

An Inspirational Trip Through Hell- Persephone Makes Good Brownies

Those Commercials Where People Screw Up The Most Basic Of Tasks In The Most Idiotic Fashion Ever Describes The Current Situation

As The Prophecy Foretold (We Made It Up, But It Came True)

Living Normally? In This Economy?

And Then The Wolves Came… Sike (Thank Fuck)

The Snails Paced Chocolate Bunny Gives Mixed Messages But Good Cereal

What The Hades Is Going On, Someone Explain

Apparently Exploding A Volcano Makes Us 'Irresponsible’

Why Are Cats So Vengeful 

Oh Look! An Unhelpful Old Person!

The Adults Are More Annoying Than Leo Valdez and Nico Di Angelo Put Together

They Scream For Ice Cream, I Scream For Sanity

McDonald’s And Raising The Dead- Tuesday Never Looked So Good

Unfortunately, I’m Still Not Dead Or A Dolphin (Not For Lack Of Effort)

Eggs Apparently Don’t Like Being Lost At Sea

I’m Packing Up My Crayons And Leaving

Viva La Pluto, Fuck You Guys

A Guide To Giving Up

Hopefully We Can Do This Without Dying This Time

Lady Dirt Face Fucks Us Over- Apparently Today CAN Get Worse

Apparently The Horse Is A God, And Honestly, Fuck The World- But Not You Potty Sludge

If Love Is In The Air Then We’re Wearing Gas Masks- How We Almost Started A War On Accident

If Love Is An Open Door We Should Close It- Aphrodite And Cupid Both Suck

Vegan Ice Cream Sandwiches For One

I Call Shotgun (Said The Invisible Girl  and The Literal Ghost)

I Fucked My Way Into This Mess, I’ll Fuck My Way Out Of It

Things Go Horribly Wrong (Or Horribly Right? It’s Hard To Tell At This Point)

The Fine Art Of Bullshit

We Are Being Hunted And Killed (Why Is This Normal And How Can We Stop It?)

Previously On ‘The Chaos Chronicles”

Cool, Cool, Cool, Cool. Actually It’s Not- Who Lit Katie’s Hair On Fire?!

I’d Like To Say This Is Shocking, But That Would Just Be A Lie

One Hundred And One Monsters, And Twenty Times A Therapist Was Needed

I Am Honestly Surprised That We Are Still Alive, And Apparently So Are The Gods

You Will Never Be A God

Blackmail Only Works If I Care

An Offer I Can Definitely Refuse

Hush Little Baby, Don’t You Cry, You’ll Give Away Our Location, And Then We’ll Die

Only Come Back With Back Up Or A Burger- Maybe Donuts

Doomsday Or Not, Let Me Go Back To Bed, I Haven’t Slept In A Week And I Don’t Care

Practise Doesn’t Make Perfect, Practise Makes A Forest Fire And A Flood

Sea Foam Speaks and A New Person Shatters My Dreams

The Labyrinth Apparently Doesn’t Murder The Already Dead, So Can We Just Die Already?

For A Moment I Forgot Gravity, And As It Seems So Did The Sky, Which Is Good Because I’d Hate To Die Before Breakfast

And God Told Us To Run A Marathon- What Happened To Normal Executions?

At Some Point The Universe Just Needs To Kill Us

There Is Not Enough Faith For This, 

No Words Can Explain Dan, The God Of Moths and Accidental Demon Summoning 

 The Endless and Mysterious Ocean Becomes A Bit Less So, And I Should Have Paid For Diving Lessons

If Best Plus Bitter Equal Better, Then I Am Way Better Than Everyone

Firecrackers And Actual Crackers- Where Is The Cheese

He Likes Art. Terrible Art, But Still Art So I Suppose I’ll Forgive The Sword Through My Head

Hazel Drives Worse Than Thalia Which Says A Lot Because Thalia Crashed Into A Lake- Oh Wait

What Do You Do When The World Almost Ends- And No Nico, The Answer Isn’t Go To McDonalds

This Wasn’t Supposed To Happen (Just Like Me)

Can I Rewrite My Life Story, Because If So I’m Starting With This

I Wasn’t Prepared For Parenthood When I Stopped A Kidnapping, I’m Seven

Patting My Own Back, No One Appreciates Me, Fuck This And Really The Rest Of My Life

Apparently Dying Is Not An Excuse For Being Late, So Fuck You Too 

Buying Happy Meals For The Dead Isn’t An Excuse For Being Late

Caped God? I Was Hoping You Had Said Cape Cod

Incoherent Screaming Is Our Theme Song, And I Feel A New Episode On

Who Told Apollo He Could Give Us Presents, Because MCR Is Not A Proper Wake Up Call

It’s Jesus Who Ruined Our Lives This Time, Folks

Don’t Awaken The Ancient One, She Has Anxiety

I Did Not Know That Could Kill Someone, But You Learn Something New Every Day

The Gods Themselves Want Me Dead, You’re Not Special, Todd

Doritos And Death, A How To On Properly Waking And Raising The Dead Featuring A Trip To Alaska

What Was I Thinking? I’m Pretty Certain I Wasn’t

News To No One: The Previously Dead Can’t Drive

I Really Hate Saving The World Actually

How Many Times Is That Threat Going To Work Considering It’s Not Serious? A Surprising Number

Everyone Asks Who We Are, Not How We Are, And Honestly I’m Pretty Hungry

The Gods Hate Me And I Don’t Know Why (I Do Know Why, But I Don’t Care, And Honestly They Shouldn’t Either)

 Which Circle Of Hell Are We In Now, Because I Was Not Planning On A Field Trip To Tartarus

We Master The Elements (Some Of Them- We Also Torch And Flood New England)

In Which We Almost Die Again And No One Bats An Eye

 Our Lives Would Be Incredibly Saddening If We Could Sit Down And Look At Them, But Leo Burned Our Chairs 

The Houseplants Try To Eat Us, And Katie Gets Mad

We Babysit For A God, And Then Adopt His Kids- Surprisingly He’s Fine With This

Dreams Do Come True And That Is Absolutely Not A Good Thing

There Goes My Best Bargaining Chip (Oh And Also His Head)

A Series Of Horrible Decisions- Who Decided I Was The Leader

Hylla, Please Don’t Leave Us- Oh, You Can Give Us A Box Of Cereal? Nevermind 

Sunshine And Rainbows Are Meant To Mean Happiness Not War- Iris and Apollo Destroy Things

Please Don’t Hit Me With Another Brick

We Were Happy And Then There Was A Giant Pigeon

Oh My Holy Fucking Shit That Was Not The Right Lever

In Which Swimming With Sharks Almost Leads To Death And Yet Saves Our Lives

There Is No Highway To Hell As It Turns Out, Only Backroads, And Now Nico And Thalia Are Disappointed

And Then The Sky Almost Crushed Us Because It Fell And Honestly I’m Never Trusting You Again

There Goes Normal Society, Say Bye-Bye, Miranda 

Are We Supposed To Live Through This?

The Dick Who Hands Out Toothbrushes Also Assigns Us A Death Quest And This Is Why We Don’t Celebrate Holidays

Sorry For Cursing You Out, Please Fix My Life

The Plan Checks Out- We Can Do This! (Spoiler Alert- We Can’t)

Three Hundred And Sixty Five Times We Can Say Fuck In A Hour

Please Let Me Pass Out On Your Lawn

Apparently Yelling Fuck At The Sky Is Considered ‘Disrespectful’ And I Haven’t A Fucking Clue Why

Yes Sir, That Is A Lot Of Blood, And No Sir, She Doesn’t Need That Leg

That One Time We Accidentally End Up In The Slaughter Sea, And How That Manages To End Up With A New Leader Of The Amazon Empire And Thalia Gets A Girlfriend

Yes, I’m Aware I Look Gay, Thank You Very Much, I’m Here To Be Queer

This Person Is Nico di Angelo With Less Shits To Give, And Honestly That Scares Me

A Good Idea With Bad Results And A Bad Idea With Surprising Results- The Ending Will Astound You

Never Thought I’d Literally Be Shut In The Closet Again, But Life’s Full Of Surprises

One Million Pounds Of Oranges And Sadness, Sixty Thousand Pounds Of Mangos, And A Truck Full Of Happiness- Monsters Not Welcome

Who Packed The Blueberry Muffins?

Nevertheless She Persisted, And Yet Just Like That, She Gave Up

What The Hell Is This, What The Hell Is That, Why The Hell Am I Here, What The Hell, *Moonwalks Into Hell*: A Brief Summary Of Life

All Is Fair In Being The First One In The Shower

We Accidentally Summon An Army Of Lost Souls

All Our Nightmares Come True And We Prove We’re Idiots

Life Gave ‘Lia Lemons. She Squeezed Them In My Eyes. Please No More Lemons.

Trying To Play Nice To The Gods Never Ends Well. In Other Words, Percy Is An Olive Tree

What’s Happening? I’m Digging My Own Grave, That’s What

Finger Guns, Peace Signs, and Middle Fingers To Nowhere- Home At Last

In Jason’s Defense, He Tried, But The Dragon Was More Interesting

Keeping A Family Alive Can Be Difficult, Especially With No Education and More Monsters A Day Than Cash (Twenty Dollars)

Thalia Tries To Sing Over Annabeth And Percy Arguing And All That Happens Is A Noise Complaint

At This Point, Murder Is Less Of A Passing Thought And More Of An ‘It’s Only A Matter Of Time’

Cousin Bonding Time Doesn’t Usually Include The Gods, But There Are Burgers So…

According To The Crazy Titan Lord Kronos, Asking If A Newborn Looks Like A Rock Is A Question That Will Result In The Death Of The Asker

Oh Joy, I’m Facing Scrutiny Over My Love Life From Immortal Preteens

Oh Things Couldn’t Be Worse When Your Parents Run The Universe Oh Things Couldn’t Be Worse When There’s A Vote To Kill Us (Leo stop using Jazz hands!)

We Have The Worst Family Reunion Ever 3.0

Barbed Wire Instead Of String, The Fates Hate Me More Than You Might Think

Zombies, Zombies Everywhere, Wave Your Hands Up In The Air

The World Is A Different Place When You Know What The World Is (Spoiler Alert: It’s Your Murderous Great Grandma)

The Refrigerator Seems Empty, Much Like My Soul

Ah, The Smell Of Success, It Smells Like Bullshit

My Heart Is Broken (Like Those Crackers That Bianca’s Eating)

Utter Chaos: Now Featuring Camp Half Blood And Literal Blood

Family Drama Destroys My Life

Family Drama 2.0: Family Drama Destroys California

So Then A God Says We ‘Will Save Humanity’, And Thalia Says ‘What The Fuck’

Two Middle Aged Women Start Screaming In Walmart

The Main Braincell Holder Is Asleep, God Doesn’t Exist, And Starting Forest Fires Is A Normal Way To Deal With Stress

Hell Is Just Life On Steroids

Queerly Beloved, We Are Gathered Here Togay… A.K.A. A Bet Ruins Rachel Elizabeth Dare’s Life

Normal People Would Avoid This, But The Two Most Normal People Here Used To Be Dead Or Will Die When A Stick Lights On Fire, So We Can’t Have High Hopes

We Try (And Fail, But Hey, It’s The Thought That Counts, Right?)

So THAT’S Where The Greek Fire Went. Sorry, Bus Driver.

Percy Has His Gay Awakening In The Form Of His Grandfather (Technically. He’s Also Technically His First Cousin Once Removed Or Something- Annabeth’s cousin maybe?)

You're Annoying Me To Death With Your Monologue So I Have To Kill You Now

What Can Go Wrong Will Go Wrong Doesn’t Mean You Should Set My Bed On Fire

Thalia Does Shock Therapy Meaning She Electrocutes People When They Say Things 

We Should Know By Now That Yelling Doesn't Solve Things But We Don’t, And The Gods Don’t Either

Most Of My Life Is Incredibly Traumatizing, But This Is New 

Who The Fuck Invited The Norse?!

Okay, I Thought The Norse Were Enough, Why Are The Magicians Here?

Wow. Popcorn. The Roman’s Worst Nightmare. 

So First The World Almost Ends, And Then The World Ends But It Gets Better, And Now It’s Ending Again?

Prophecies Can Fuck Off, And So Can Apollo

“Treacherous Nephew In The Tuxedo” Should Sound Funny, But It Doesn’t, And That Makes Leo Sad

 Why Is A Titan Making Dad Jokes? 

Falling Into A Dumpster Was The Highlight Of My Day, What Is Life

Grieving For The Living Is Just As Hard As Grieving For The Dead

Please Forget That I Tried To Kill You

In My Defence, An Invisible Higher Power Who Has The Ability To Strike Me Down Made Me Do It

Let Out A Boo For The Boom Man

Twenty McDonald’s Happy Meals And A Gun- Godly Gifts Are Awesome

We Enter The Maze Of Doom (This Time With Fabulous Prizes)

Two Brothers Are Not Happy As A Sister Cheers On Two More Brothers As They Duel To The Death- (Triton & Tyson & Kymopoleia & Percy & Anteus Have Sibling Bonding Time) 

The Eight Year Old With A Gun Manages To Save And Then Destroy A Life

Hello, I’m Queer, And Full Of Fear. Please Kill Me Now

Children Try To Make Plans (It Doesn’t Go So Well)

Thalia Grace Once Again Proves That Being A Demigod Really Fucking Sucks

It Don’t “Do Be Like That Sometimes” Leo, We Are In HELL

[percythalianico]

In honor of the series.

Percy: Are you telling me that the most powerful being in the Universe thought that the only way to save his daughter was turning her into a fucking tree?

Thalia, in the tree: Right?!?!?!? That's what I am saying to my friends here!

***

Percy: Can someone make an example of something useless?

Thalia: *raises her hand*

Percy: Correct. Anyone else?

Thalia: I am unsure if I should be proud of you or just killing you.

***

Thalia: You know that the only way to beat him is using the dumbest idea of all?

Annabeth: So there is no hope?

Percy: I don't know any Hope. But I am here and I have an amazing idea!

Thalia: That'll work.

**

Thalia: Why Clarisse is mad at you?

Percy: You saw Clarisse's spear?

Thalia: No?

Percy: There's your answer.

***

At TTC

Thalia: Apollo is hot.

Percy: Yeah, he is the sun god.

After HOO

Percy: OH MY GODS, SHE DIDN'T MEAN THAT!!

***

Percy: Why is Thalia crying over there?

Annabeth: She made on of those 'Which Greek God are you.'

Percy: And?

Annabeth: She got Hera.

Percy: Oh, dam. Poor Thals.

***

Thalia: I am a disappointment.

Nico: I am useless.

Jason: I had to lead all my friends into war.

Hazel: I sacrificed myself

Percy: Wait, that isn't normal administration?

***

Chiron: I had to return at the Camp.

Zeus: Why?

Chiron: It is Summer.

Poseidon: And?

Chiron: The Hunters are visiting.

Hades: Oh, damn, you better go.

Zeus: I don't understand.

Chiron: Percy and Thalia are there. Together. Without supervision.

Poseidon: You should really go.

***

And, finally, a classic

Zeus: You will be rewarded. What do you most desire?

Percy: Pay your fucking child support.

Zeus: ...

Percy: And an unicorn.

[punkeropercyjackson]

Afro-dominican Percy Jackson headcanons but by a black dominicana cause y'all write him like an oreo

His name is actually short for Perseo and his middle name is Isadore.Percy is a nickname given to him by Sally so he took it on willingly instead of assimilation but also gringos are always pronouncing Perseo wrong,including monsters and that only encouraged him to not use it in full

Sea green eyes but also darkskinned,4d textured hair,thick lips and a big nose.He's 6'4,his gray streak naturally faded to white and he has a wide variety of hairstyles per book:Baby dreads(TLT),wicks(TTC),twists(TLO),afro(for most of SON because he dosen't remember what styles he likes),dreads(SON finale),adds beads(MOA)and long locs(Tales of Dead Seas)

He calls Sally Mamí,obviously???

His favorite dominican food is blue flan

Third gen inmigrant and monoracial(lightskin Percy with loose hair is fake,that is a NIGGA 100%)

Sally had him grow up on Discovery Kids

Trilingual-Fluent in english,spanish and greek

Haircare and skincare king

Uses nigga enough that it's a common aspect of his vocabulary

All his durags/bonnets/beads are blue

Huge Pokemon fan(It's a latino meme that we love anime based things)

Sally taught him exactly zero latino machoism or black toxic masculinity and he's actually transfem bigender and femme.She uses she/he and a bunch of neopronouns and her womanhood is extremely afrolatina with her mannerisms and tastes(doing black woman hairstyles and makeup on herself,her favorite Disney Princesses are Tiana and Brandy's Cinderella,post transition she learns she deserves to be high maintenance and tons more things)

He listens to Mcr,D'Angelo,Meet Me @ The Altar,Rihanna,Megan Thee Stallion,Ice Spice,Lo-Fi beats and hiphop

He's demisexual and his type is princess-y black women(Perseus' wife was Andromeda,the princess of Ethopia afterall and names have power in the Pjo world)

Bro is romantic-He's a guygirl so that automatically gives him an advantege with rizz but she's autistic so that boosts it by 100+ points.No regards to social norms,just unfiltered kindness and acts of service that would kill any other nigga to even think of.Also i'm obsessed with the idea of her calling his s/o 'Strawberry Pop' because i'm a Demeter Kid

As per canon he's punk but i'm not boring like Rick so i do a deep dive into it.He uses 'Punkero' for himself too and he's crustpunk,afropunk,seapunk and solarpunk and he knows how to diy things that don't even exist,uses an emulator and only phone and secondhand bought games on anti-capitalist principal,defaces public property,did a lot of research after finding out punk is an actual culture and not just an aesthetic that was surprisingly easy to focus on and starts dressing punk too as he slowly finds the right thirft stores and learns to make clothes.He throwns black/dominican influences in his outfits and in Tods he gives himself that multicolor mermaid hair where you keep your og hair tone still for that Ocean Girl swag

She's a Latino Memes Queen OBVIOUSLY but her favorites are cat ones and she's also huge on energy drinks(cotton candy bang stan just like me fr fr)and legos(i'm pleasently surprised at how many lego shows fans are latinos).White people jokes are her jam also and Luke's colonizing fascist ass got the worst of it before he killed his ass

He is 100% Nico and Hazel's mom and dad,as per canon.Nico is black too because it fits perfectly and Hazel's got black hair and brown eyes because fuck exoticification so it gives them a special connection and La Residencia Jackson is a bit of a cultural melting pot because of it.Dominican flag hung on the wall behind the couch,even more hang gesturing and loud inside voices than normal,New Orleans cuisine and everything inbetween.Percy calls Hazel 'Mamita' and Nico 'Papito',do eachother's hair,they hang out almost 24/7,he radicalized them so now Hazel's pastel goth punk and Nico's goth punk,there's a lot leaning against him for emotional support or even just out of younger sibling/child love,Percy guilt-trips Poseidon into giving him money for Nico's meds and aids and helps Hazel out with girls,beach days with them are made straight up tropical with Percy's powers and they're every white man and Karen's worst nightmares combined as one big happy familia with Sally as the topping who seems easy to speak over but Percy said herself she got her rebellion against shitty people from her

Percy Jackson is NOT Peter Parker.C'mon now,don't fall for the boyloser propaganda and be real-We all know he's Hobie Brown and that his Spider Variant is an older Spiderpunk.Speak the truth with me

[purplefox00]

So imagine nico and will have been together for a few years, nicos around 18 and wills like 19 or something and he's been at university for a year or so and recently nico been noticing some strange behaviour when they talk over IM/Phone at first he brushes it off as the stress of studying and a long distance relationship but after awhile he starts to get suspicious so next time will gets cagey and end their call early because he's "tired" and needs to get some "studying" in before he goes to bed. nico waits 10 minutes before shadow traveling into wills dorm and surprise surprise what does he see? Will fucking someone else.

The guy wills with spots him first and freaks out like "Who the fuck are you? You creep!"

"Me?" nico points at himself eyebrow raised "until just this second I was his boyfriend of 4 years. Who the fuck are you?"

Of course will starts panicking

"it's not what it looks like, it's not what it looks like, I can explain"

The side piece is pissed "YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND?"

Nico is not amused "not anymore he doesn't" he drawl deadpan with a hint of something dangerous

Anyway it's a big mess and nico dumps his ass and goes back to camp of course the seven and reyna want to kill will. percy and jason are especially angry and ready to destroy him but nico, nico is calm and collected weirdly so.... Suspiciously so,

Now nico is a son of Hades of course he hasn't forgiven will and of course he's not gonna let him get away with this but he's got a plan he knows exactly how to get back at will

So when nico looks at his friends sat around him discussing their rather imaginative plans to... Dispose of will and says "no. you're not going to do anything to will I know exactly what I'm gonna do" when multiple whats? Are chorused back at him he smirks sharp and dangerous a glint in his eyes a little to similar to his fathers "I'm gonna fuck his dad" he drawl slow and confident "well I guess it'd be his dad fucking me but you get what I mean" he flicks his wrist nonchalantly.

Now the last few years have been good to nico having a somewhat safe place to live, eating regularly, sleeping properly and not spending as much time in the underworld have done wonders, he's healthy and to put it simply he's hot! He's grown some he's still skinny but in a toned healthy way he's still pale but his natural olive undertones are back he's a real Italian beauty and in the last year or so people have been more jealous of will than they have of nico

So none of them doudt he could when he says he's going to sleep with apollo but it is a shock to hear, percy bless him chokes on his drink and nearly dies, annabeth seems like she already knew what he was going to say and is to busy patting percy back to give much more of a reaction, jason falls backwards like he was hit, piper and leo are just fucking cackling, Hazel looks horrified but reyna looks vaguely proud a little smirk pulling at the side of her mouth.

And that's that he's decided he's going to have sex with apollo.

Months later when wills arrives back at camp for summer brake he spends hours looking around camp for nico before he plucks up the courage to approach the seven (reyna, Hazel and Frank came to visit just to witness the figurative murder about to happen) and asks if they knew where nico was he almost pisses his pants from the looks alone and fears they might have killed him if a yellow Maserati hadn't chose that exact moment to barrel out of the sky an park outside of the dining pavilion

"dad? What's he doing here?" will mutters as apollo steps out and round the car before opening the passenger door and no no no this can't be happening will thinks to himself almost hysterically staring wide eyed as none other than Nico Di Angelo steps out looking deliciously sex mussed, hair ruffled, lips kiss swollen and so so red and pretty, hickeys lining his neck there's no mistaking what he's been up to especially when after closing the door apollo has nico pressed between the car and his body leaning down to pull him into an absolutely sinful kiss that goes on way longer than is appropriate for such a puplic setting not that nico or anyone other than will really seems to care

Then apollos pulling back and making his way to the drivers side calling out "see you later angel" with a wink before getting in and driving off leaving nico to make his way towards will no no not will... nico bushes past him without even sparing him a single glance will turns to watch as nico situats himself at the table between percy and jason and jump right into a conversation like nothing happend and will is starting to realise as he glances around that no one seems to be reacting to what just happened other and some campers sending him some sneering smirks that is, which... Which means... This.. This isn't the first time something like this has happened is it?

He must look like an idiot standing there gaping at nico but he can't help it he had assumed those moths ago when no pissed off member of the seven turned up on his door step ready to kill him that nico had asked them to leave him alone that he must have still loved him and that there was a chance he'd take him back if he apologised enough obviously he was wrong

When nico finally looks at him says "can we help you?" .. "actually never mind I don't care, go" flicking his wrist in a shooing motion casually with an air of disinterest

Will thinks this may be worse than if nico had just let his friends have their way with him which thinking about it was probably the point......

[nerdthatsiriuslylovesteaxx]

Helpless part 36, sorry for the wait, here is a long chapter as payment

Nico woke up after three hours with a splitting headache, he felt nauseous, where even was he? He spotted the blonde boy sitting on the chair next to him reading a book, he was surprised that he wasn't off with ten other patients by this point. "You okay Neeks?" Will said putting his book down and walking over.

"I've got a headache."

"Nauseous to?"

"How'd you know?"

"It's normal, I'll go get you some water." Will walked out returning with a glass and handing it to the Hades kid, he started taking small sips from it, letting the cool water run down his throat, when even was the last time he drank water? "Would you be open to talking to someone? I know you don't like opening up to people but it could help."

"Are... are you forcing me to?" Nico asked so softly Will could barely hear him, he sat down next to the whispering boy.

"'Course not Neeks, we just want you to get help."

"Please don't make me talk to people." He whispered back, curling up.

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to." Nico mentally laughed at the irony of Will telling him that when he was being kept in the infirmary which he really didn't want to do. The son of Apollo grabbed the small boy's hand and started rubbing the back of it in circles, "You could try a journal? I've heard that helps."

"Maybe... can we leave this for now?"

"Sure, anything in particular you want to talk about?"

"Can we finish our game of twenty questions?"

"Okay."

"Who's your favorite siblings?"

"Don't you dare tell any of them but Kayla, Austin will kill me if he finds out." Will laughed, "Least favorite of the seven?"

"Valdez, he's annoying as fuck also I fucked him that one time so it just makes everything awkward."

"Wait what?!"

"We were both bored and drunk, we never talk about that day. Anyways, have you ever dyed your hair?" He decided to let Will come to his own conclusions on that one, especially because Leo was too drunk to actually remember it, or he was just a very good actor. He remembered that night, it was the anniversary of when Bianca had died, while he last memories with her weren't the best he still loved her. He still wished he'd died instead of her. He was drinking himself numb, standing outside on the deck in the darkness when Leo walked, well walked was being generous, stumbled down the stairs, so drunk he could barely stay up right. He remembers thinking 'well might as well do it, haven't got anything to loose.' He remembers grabbing his shirt and smashing his lips against his.

"Why are you so drunk Valdez?" He muttered into his ear, trailing up kisses

"None ya business Shadow boy."

"Fine." He pulled away,

"Hey!"

"No sympathy sex if you don't tell me."

"My mom died today."

"I'm sorry."

"Di Angelo I seem to realise you are also drunk, would you care to explain why?" His words were practically just slurs, fuck it, he thought, they'd both just never acknowledge it again.

"My sister died today."

"What? But Hazel-"

"My other sister, Bianca, died when I was ten."

"I'm sorry."

"Can we just fuck senseless I can't take processing this anymore."

"Fine by me." And then that was it, they never spoke of it again and went back to hating each other, honestly it was a disaster that they we're probably never going to unpack.

"Nope, I was going to dye it brown again when I saw my mum but then she didn't talk to me for years so never really did that."

"That is messed up but in a desperate attempt to keep this light hearted we will unpack that later. Now, I will be kidnapping you and dying your hair every colour imaginable."

"Can I ask why?"

"You're blonde, what else would I do?"

"Umm... okay then, have you ever watched Star Wars?"

"Nope."

"What! How? I'm putting Kay or Aussi on tomorrow night and we are binging all of Star Wars together."

"Please no."

"Too late Angel boy." Nico sighed in defeat, shaking his head but accepting his fate.

"Why didn't you tell me you could speak Italian?"

"I didn't know, I mean the song I learnt a while ago but actually speaking it's like how Aphrodite kids can speak French because it's the language of love, Italian's the language of music."

"That makes a lot of sense."

"Speaking of Italy, do you miss it?"

"Yeah, but when I went back there with Jason on the Argo II I didn't really feel anything, everything there changed so much, it barely feels like home now. What's something no one or only one person knows about you?" Will could tell him so many different things, he had so many secrets but was it safe to share them? He could do the easy thing and say that he glows in the dark, he could talk about his mom or the things he does at night when he's sure no one's watching him.

"I can glow in the dark." It was too soon, he'd tell him... eventually.

"YOU'RE A PORTABLE SUNSHINE!!!" Nico cringed at himself mentally but it was so easy to get lost in conversation with Will, just about fun shit, not worrying about everything all the time. I mean he'd had his fair share of hard conversations and lectures from the blonde boy but it was still so easy to relax around him. That wasn't good, he couldn't let his guard down, especially after those kisses. He said he loved him, he kissed him after the first one, he didn't pull away but that didn't mean anything. He would leave after realising that he was worthless and didn't deserve love, he wanted to let him in but his brain wouldn't let him, the only reason he'd said half the shit he had now was because of Reyna.

"Shut up Doom and Gloom." He laughed, messing up Nico's hair.

"Don't think I will, Care Bear."

"Really?"

"You love it, be honest." Fuck, he shouldn't be letting himself get this comfortable, he shouldn't be getting this relaxed with anyone. But it was living sunshine, cinnamon roll, Will Solace, he could trust him... right? Will rolled his eyes in defeat,

"...Will you be my boyfriend...?" Fuck, why did he do that? What if he- his thoughts were cut off with Nico di Angelo, son of Hades, ambassador of Pluto smashed his lips against his own, grabbing his blonde hair. He wrapped his arms around the small boy's neck, pulling him as close as he possibly could until they broke the kiss.

"I'd love that Sunshine." Here goes nothing, at least he'd be happy for a day or two, he didn't want to build hope of Will liking him for any longer than that, but at least there would be some temporary happiness. A moment of silence passed until Nico asked the next question "What's going on with your mum?"

"Well- Umm.." Will struggled to hold back tears,

"You don't have to talk if you don't want to."

"I want you to know, it's just... hard."

"Take a deep breath, it's going to be okay." Will shook before a tear fell from his eye as started to talk.

"Well until I was eight she was amazing, honestly the best parent I could wish for. But then after that she became really busy, working two jobs to pay for the album she was writing. Then when I was nine she dropped me off a my aunts, said it was for a few days, three months later I ran away. Her house... it was a nightmare, constantly called the unwanted child, yelled at for getting in trouble at school and not paying attention. And for anything that went wrong... ever and well let's just say she wasn't the nicest overall. Food once a week and if I was in trouble once every three weeks and well she hit hard. I don't think mom knew how bad she was, at least that's what I used to think, now I'm not so sure. I ran away which is when I found camp, just wandering around aimlessly until I was attacked by symphalian birds and I just ran until they couldn't find me. I was in the infirmary for two weeks, which was when I met Michael... first time someone cared about my existence in a few years. I was claimed the first campfire I went to; I wrote to mom so much those first few months... poured my fucking heart out, never got a goddamn response. Well she sent me a letter yesterday... wanted to meet up next week, don't even know how she fucking found out where I was. Didn't even bother asking the fuck had happened." Will didn't realise he was crying until Nico wiped a tear from his cheek and kissed him on the forehead,

"I'm so sorry."

"I'm going to go there next week and say every fucking word I want her to hear." He said in a broken voice, he pulled him into a hug.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Will just nodded, sinking into the smaller boy's arms, slipping his hands into Nico's.

"Why do you always wear that ring?"

"Bianca gave it to me before she left, it was my mothers; nearly got it stolen at a club a when I was twelve."

"Why were you...?"

"Addicted to more things than I would be willing to admit, easiest way to get them. Cats or dogs?" A look over uncomfort washed over his face as he quickly changed the subject; Will knew he wouldn't get any more information on what had happened, at least any time soon.

"Cats and that is objectively the correct answer, also I already asked you that."

"Firstly, I don't care. Secondly, you're wrong. Thirdly, you are a golden retriever but you like cat's!? How?? Why??"

"Cat's are just better, and anyways you are the definition of black cat but preferre dogs."

"Cat's aren't 'just better' why do you think we have three headed dogs but not three headed cats?"

"Simple, a single cat is already perfect, why add two more when you've already got perfection?"

"Shush, dogs are still better."

"Whatever you say Neeks, just know that your opinion is wrong." Will teased, patting Nico on the head, covering his hand with his mouth to stop any protests. "Who's your favorite Mean Girls character?"

"Regina, what kind of a question is that? How much longer do you think Jason and Piper are going to last?"

"What?"

"His much longer will they last? It's doomed, my bets are another week or two before one of them snaps." Will thought back to the two of them, he didn't know either of them that well but he normally never would have guessed they're together.

"Umm... I haven't really thought about it but I guess another month maybe month and a half. Favorite book?"

"Ernesto, it was impossible to find and even harder to read since it was all in bad handwriting and dyslexia didn't exactly help. Also if I was caught with it I would have to spend months in the church but I still managed to get through it." Nico remembered finding the first page somewhere on the floor and picking it up, desperately trying to find out where it was from. It took him months to find one and about a year to read that one but he remembered the plot word for word. He could remember sneaking out at dawn to read it before anyone else was up, it was like that for half a year, waking up every morning to read it and then hide it from his mum and Bianca, he didn't know how he never got caught. "Do you like being in the infirmary all the time, I swear you never take a break."

"Yeah, I like being able to help people. Also I'm the only healer so I try to not put anyone else in the Apollo cabin have to be in here too much, I mean normally it's Kay and Aussi but sometimes we have other people in here. What's your favorite season?"

"Winter, I love the rain also I hate the sun."

"Heyyy!"

"Sorry Sunshine, it's the truth, when have you ever seen me outside willingly? What's your favorite song?"

"Probably... Pretend."

"Sing it?" Nico said laying down on his lap, looking up at him.

"Tonight my self-respect went out the window

It didn't stay for long

But I figured I'd be wrong

So, don't come close

My heart is rather clueless

I don't know why I do this But just once more

Let's close the door and play pretend

More than a glance

More than a friend

I'll close the door and play with you

Is that what you want me to do I'll do what you want me to do

Hit me up

It's fine, Mil pause my healing

It's all part of our truce

Oh, the sweet smell of abuse So, please don't go

My life is going backwards

No room in it for you But this bed fits two

Let's close the door and play pretend

More than a glance

More than a friend

I'll close the door and play with you

Is that what you want me to do I'll do what you want me to do

Why do I want it too?

I should be running from you

Why do I want it?

Oh, I want it too

Let's close the door and play pretend

More than a glance

More than a friend

I'll close the door and play with you

Is that what you want me to do

I'll do what you want me to do" Nico stared into his eyes, mesmerised by the blonde boy's voice. Will smiled, planting a kiss on his forehead."If you could have one wish, what would it be?"

"I'd bring Hazel's mother back, she deserves to see her again."

"Not your own?"

"I'd rather make her happy; do you play any sports."

"I love playing soccer but there isn't really time with being in the infirmary."

"You mean football?"

"No I mean soccer...?"

"Soccer is football, the abomination of a sport you have here that you call football is rip off rugby."

"I would argue with that but I really can't, there's basically no difference between the two sports. But it's definitely soccer."

"All Americans are dumb and that is the hill I will die on, you kick the ball with your foot, that's why it's called football. Where did soccer come from?"

"I don't know but it sounds better."

"It really doesn't Solace; just ask the next question, I can't afford to lose any more brain cells."

"Rude, but what's your favorite time of day?"

"Sunset, who's your favorite out of the seven?

"Probably Annie, but I talk to Leo a lot, mainly because he's here a lot."

"Can't imagine why." Nico said speaking in fluent sarcasm,

"What's your fatal flaw?"

"Holding grudges."

"How am I not surprised? Also that was the last question."

"Good, I was starting to run out of ideas."

"Same though," Will glanced down at his watch, "Neeks, it's almost lunch time. I want you to try eating just a tiny bit, stop whenever you feel sick, but could you try?" He half nodded, dreading what would come next.

***

______

Sorry again for the wait, I got distracted

I'll be honest I was running out of questions at the end

If you're still reading comment your Hogwarts house

May the odds be ever in your favour

-Siri

Xx

[yonemurishiroku]

hello! I know you super-ship jasico but I was wondering if you got any pernico fanfic recs? Ty! :D

wdym but? Just because I super-ship jasico doesn't mean I can't be obsessed with percico now can I? I'm a man (girl. woman. danger to society, if u will) of everything.

sorry losing track LOL anw you don't specify your references so I'm seriously going in blind here lmao. Imma just suggest those I love the most amongst my bookmarks then. There would be explicit content and i'd try to include as many warnings as i can think of, alrity

Everything by BobInTheComments. I barely read 1/10 of their works but I KNOW they're all brilliant. Trust me.

Again, everything by Doevademe (OriginalDaemon). Trust me.

too much poison in these veins and frankly? Everything by fuckin_rodent (I don't advise trying if you're a Will stan tho, and the content is pretty heavy sometimes btw)

betsib has some amazing works too! One of my favourites is Rest your head close to my heart wherein Nico and Percy have to take care of a baby legacy of Zeus (go figure) and Percy realizes his feelings!

The Who We Are series bc I cried

Fire Bringer by wewhofightmonsters: Percico in Prometheus' POV. It hurts so much. I cry every time for Prometheus and Nico's friendship. 😭😭😭

[with symphonies playing in a] World without Sound by shadowtraveled (orphan_account): THIS HURTS. But I love it. Because it's one of the rare ones that depict an unusual take on Percico of mine. Basically it's about Nico leaving, Hazel is sad, and Percy has an epiphany but it's too late. The author left it undone IMO but the work itself is beautifully heart-wrenching.

When the River Meets the Sea by bvnne: Again, shared custody. What's wrong with Percico and shared custody and babies?????

Where do I Begin? by Mitsumi in which Percy, Jason and Piper embark on a quest through Nico's memories to save him. Fuk u Cupid. Pls mind the tags btw.

Wash Me Throughly by creepy_crawly: This is short and kinda like a little treat LOL. Summary: "Percy helps Nico wash up, and gets a little jealous of the water." It's really what it is.

Only Human by Avaetin: “Will you be able to kill me, Percy?” Dark Nico. The villain in me is cackling.

Surfer Kid and Ghost Boy by exul_ansis: Gamers AU. Nico has mental problems. Percy thinks he is a failure. They try to help each other. PLS READ THIS JKASDHASKJDHASKJ

Shuffle 50 by ZoudiaxZoe: Topic: Drug Use. They're both a mess. Implied cousin-incest, if you will, their family is just fucked up. BUT PLS READ THIS 😭😭😭

I have a lot more but frankly I don't know if I should include lolol this is probably too many anyway.

I hope you enjoy!!! Please don't forget to show the authors some support if you can! ^_^)/ 💖

[yourthirdparent]

swear i'm gonna kill (/nsrs /hyp) the next person who says jason suggested leaving nico in the jar because HE NEVER FUCKING DID THAT

he said "mmmm but can we really trust him? hate to ask but yk,, he is p shady" when he had NO INFORMATION ON NICO other than "he was at both camps and didn't tell anyone about them" and "he had political power at cj" and like nothing else. and one of his LONGEST STANDING ALLIES was also suspicious. like. not much of an issue with being suspicious over a guy who withheld information when you don't know why he did so.

but back to the main point HE NEVER SAID "HM LET'S LEAVE HIM IN THE FUCKING JAR" like?????? even if he was like grrr nico di angelo i hate him bark bark growl he's not a fucking idiot. like he knows nico is required for the quest and that they're severely fucking themselves over if they don't go get him. like he's not stupid. he's gonna be like yeah ok we need him whatever smh but he's not gonna be like GRR LEAVE HIM LET HIM DIE GRRRR like. all he did was say "do we know where his loyalties lie? we just have to be careful" and if you see "be careful" and think oh he wants to leave that kid in that jar then idewk what you think when people say drive safe or have a safe flight.

AND HIS CONCERN WAS VALID!!!!! keep in mind jason doesn't have all the context we do about this shit. especially not the knowledge we have from future books. like at this point he's not like oh nico yeah he's loyal he'll do anything percy asks cuz he's that loyal and trustworthy. good kid love him to death. he's like oh like the ambassador of pluto who held power and trust. wdym he was at chb. wdym he was at chb for longer than he was here. wdym his loyalties lied with a specific person at chb. wdym he associated with the enemy and never told anyone. man idk if i trust him anymore. like all he knew was nico withheld information. he didn't know that his reasons for doing so were because his father specifically requested it, he just knew that nico kept secrets from him and every other person who might've possibly needed that information.

and like. was it a dick move to be like "maybe we can't trust him. look out for that kid", especially in front of hazel? yeah. absolutely. was hazel valid in her assumption that he and leo wanted to leave nico in the jar? it jumped over a few hurdles to get to that but yeah she was valid. was she justified in her anger? of course she was. but did jason ever say "leave his ass"? no.

and i suppose you could make the argument that he was siding with leo and leo mentioned that they were walking into a trap but again, please note that jason literally just said "we just have to be careful" which for all we know could literally mean "let's make a few more preparations since we're literally strolling into that trap. we'll still go, but let's make sure we all come out of it alive". and like again we don't know what he was thinking so i could be totally wrong and he could've been thinking "we should totally let nico die :) i hate that man" but he never said that. he never even implied it. he said "we just have to be careful".

anyways please if i messed up any details (or if this is incomprehensible) please correct me cuz if i'm wrong about anything i would like to know. and if you think he did imply that he wanted to leave nico in the jar then please share your evidence with me because i would love to see the viewpoint of that side of things /gen

[tyu1forever]

Real things my friends have said: Percy Jackson Edition ✨✨✨

This list is ever-growing as my friends get dumber and I read more Percy Jackson. Please tell me if they don't match or if you have ideas.

Nico: I was so fucking depressed I fell asleep

Annabeth: I just wanna backhand you into medieval friday

Will: my doctor was examined by my health

Percy: stress is so stressful

Poopoo peepee

Leo: break it up, ladies

Leo: Can i get ur snap.

-Thalia: No sorry im gay.

-Leo: FUUUUKKKKK

gay ppl suk. My dick

murdoc 😍. STFU

Percy: Adhd meds are weird. Like you have to remember to take the pills that make you not forget things.

-Grover: That took moment to understand

Hurting stands up

If you dont listen to ABBA you're tasteless af. I don't like ABBA. KERIS U ABBA HATER

WTFS WRONG WITH YOU, SHE'S ONLY 4!!!!!!!

Percy: (To Nico) Shush gay one

Leo: (to Piper) Lady, calm your fucking nachos

I fell in the shower and i tried to grab water

Percy: The colour 3 tastes sandy

Annabeth: Gun pigs (guinea pigs). They shit like machine guns

Leo: ARE U TRANSLATORPHOBIC

Annabeth: Thats what i was implying imbicile

O nu ma pp

Leo: now let me listen to beyoince

Percy: Gaslight Gatekeep Girlcock

YOU FUKING BLUETOOTHED IT TO ME

Percy: I left my gf on read bc she hung up on me

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (reaction to seeing friend's new haircut)

Jaosn: Can we not talk about bondage? This is a library

HOW TF IS THIS SHIT IS ALR DEAD. yall im a lesbian. One of us one of us one of us

Im just casually vibrating inside this man

Imma put my headphones back in, if you need me just dislocate my arm.

Leo: Jason and Piiiiiiiiiiper sitting in a tree, f u c k i n g

Leo: Why datig?

-Percy: Ah yes why datig

Leo: WOAH NICO X WILL CONFIRMED????

Piper: Luffy can stretch his dick.

-Frank: YEA- WAIT WHATTT????

Annabeth: I LEAVE AND YOU RECCOMEND OUR CHILD AND HIS HUSBAND SMUT?

Percy: That's my future wife you're taking about

That's not an ant that's a spider END ITS LIFE. Australia man (sobbing bc got bit by spider-ant)

Frank: sToP eAtInG mY gRaNdMoThEr

Piper: Shut up before I kill you.

- Grover: Damn she pulled out the shoe

Leo: WHAT THE FLIPPITY DOO DAA IS YOUR CUSTOM STATUS

do you want cummies?

Hazel: Look at the size of that thing!

damon is praying that the towel won't fall

Birth certificate reveal! NOW!

Percy: Can we use subtitles? (he meant subtopics)

Leo: Apparently avocados have a similar taste to dick

Nico: Schools back on tomorrow

- Percy: Kys

-Nico: Me too

Clarisse: bangs hand on wall OW FUCK

Piper: Vaping gives of such SDE (small dick energy)

Are the anger issues coming back?

Jason: Grandma wants a beer

-Leo: The realest shit I heaver heard

Coach Hedge: I need to bash someone's head in, specifically a toddler's

A wild ✮𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂✮ appeared.

*cackles bones irishly*

Original