#when he looks like the no. 1 dork of the century??

[detectivemiku]

y'all im sorry but can we talk about how much of a dork conan looks like-

like our boy is out here regularly wearing suspenders & shorts combo with a red bowtie and oversized glasses. also his uncommon foreign name?? he's just ASKING to be made fun of

if you aren't familiar with the story there's No Way you'd think to take him seriously,, but somehow despite everything he's literally the coolest guy ever and Everyone loves him. like he really does live up to the "cool guy/kid" name, but no one would believe that by looks alone

[ineffableigh]

The costume details in Good Omens never cease to amaze me

I was working on cosplay research and looked up 'men's dress shirt rounded collar' since I noticed Aziraphale's blue dress shirt collar is rounded, not pointed:

So it turns out...

"The rounded collar was part of Eton College‘s dress code beginning in the mid-1800s. Because men wanted to be perceived as belonging to this exclusive club, the rounded, or “club” collar was copied by the masses." (Source)

Between that and the fact that Aziraphale's waistcoat, from what I can find, most closely matches shawl collar waistcoat designs from the 1830s, and his waistcoat at Saint James Park in 1862 is the first one we see him wear that most closely resembles his 'modern day' one, it's safe to say our lad is stuck at the start of the 19th century.

Which COULD be hilarious given undergarment styles of the time:

Through the late 19th century - union suits! Lovely for cold London winters.

1907...

However, I suspect 1940s style to be most likely, as it seems to be what he emulated when pretending to be Crowley at the end of Season 1.

1940s undergarments:

Anyway this has been your fashion history dork brain dump LOL

[lucozadehulahoop]

A Question of Time (Astarion x f!reader/tav) part 3/?

Chapter summary: Astarion makes his choice, but his actions don't go unnoticed. Call it divine intervention.

A.N: Big thank you for the massive love on this! I've only been posting this fic for three days and the response has been overwhelming! I appreciate every single comment and it really keeps me motivated. The tag list will be posted below the cut because it's getting a bit long ahh.

Tags and T.W.:pre-bg3!Astarion, slave!Astarion, mentions of torture and abuse, demi-goddess!tav, eventual NSFW (minors stay away kindly, thank you darlings)

warning for this chapter: seggsual sention (eh more just dorks being dorks)

part 1 part 2 part 4

"Astarion, favored soul, I send you my own flesh and blood to remove you from harm, yet you do not take your chance to flee..." An ethereal voice sang to Astarion as he tried to make sense of his own surroundings.

Slowly he began to recognize the cemetery, the tombstones, his own grave... how had he ended up back there?

The moon shined brightly down on him, and slowly the origin of that voice materialized itself right in front of him.

Astarion may have not been a believer, but he could recognize a goddess when he saw one. Much like in her many popular depictions, Sehanine wore what resembled a black silk gown, the very fabric that created the shadows she was a patron of. Her hair was black and white, her skin deep blue like the ocean, and her eyes the shape of twin moons. Many were the elves who worshiped 'the Moonweaver ' dutifully.

Sehanine was also the only diety criminals and tricksters seemed to cling to. A favor from the patron of illusions and misdirection could make the difference between the success or failure of a deed carried out under the cover of night.

But she was not only the goddess those who worked in secrecy and trickery often asked for a blessing from. Love was the biggest blessing tied to her name, and many cursed her for being the protector of lovers who steeled away for a tryst in the night.

"Do not be afraid, Pale One." She smiled at him eerily. "I appear to you now to give you guidance. I am sure by now you recognize me, even though on this plane I have come to be known to many as Selùne in these times, but you have been alive since the days of the old creed..."

"Y-yes--" Astarion stammered, never once having thought he'd be entertaining a conversation with a diety.

"I know you have not once believed in anything that was not material, and I am not here to test your faith, little vampire. I have been guiding your journey through this world ever since you began to display all of those qualities that are so dear to me... the Moon has been your close ally in all of your deeds..." The goddess proclaimed. "I look out for my own, but now... you go against my design to deliver you from your wretched master. Why is it so?"

It was quite a hefty amount of information to take in all at once. Not to mention preposterous. Guidance? Protection? If Astarion had been so favored by the gods, why in the seven hells had he been crushed underneath Cazador's heel for two hundred years?

The anger didn't take long to boil up inside of him. "No. No, forgive me, your holiness, but there has to be some kind of mistake here." Astarion sneered. "I think you've got the wrong Astarion, because this one has been attacked by the Gur, turned into a vampire, and subjected to two centuries of torture at the hands of a maniac!"

Sehanine smiled down at him once more, almost as if Astarion's lament was something to be amused by. "It is not up to me to explain the trials and tribulations of mortal life, dear one... If I directly interfered with the lives of every being I wished to influence in a constant manner, then other gods would want the same and war would surely break out amongst us. I would not come to you if I did not fear great peril on the horizon. Your Master, Cazador Szaar, has joined a league with dark, dangerous forces... forces that are enemies to myself and other entities that keep the balance between good and-"

Astarion scoffed. "I fail to see, how any of this is my concern."

The goddess's eyes became pitch black and her form started to warp into something far more sinister. "Count yourself lucky I consider your quick wit as a quality, but do not make the mistake of disrespecting me again, vampire spawn." She threatened in a booming voice. "You will be turned into a sacrificial lamb to your Master's ascension to near-godliness if you do not flee now, underneath my daughter's protection."

Astarion was silent for a very long while. In fact, he could not tell how much time had passed before she finally spoke again, her voice once again gentle.

"I will not have one of my own be involved in this abomination of a rite. In fact, I will make sure Tav stops this event from coming to pass so that she may meet her destiny."

Astarion couldn't stop himself from speaking his mind once again, even at the cost of being punished by the divine. "Meet her destiny? Surely... surely you must know how powerful Cazador is. I mean, I've seen what your darling daughter can do, but she doesn't seem to have a single mean bone in her body and you might risk losing her-"

"Tav must die for Cazador and the rest of the evil he's created to be eradicated for good." Was the goddess's simply put answer.

"But... she's your daughter." Astarion failed to understand until it finally clicked in his head. "You---you set her up like a lamb for slaughter. This is why she couldn't keep away from me? Because you made her come to my rescue every time? And now she's... Hells, she's getting rid of Cazador for you and dying in the process because you can't look bad in front of your god pals? What happened to looking out for your own?"

"I may have brought her into this world, but she is not one of my own." The Moonweaver clarified." Too sweet, too good-natured. The only thing I can truly recognize is her beauty. But no, I have not spoken to her, ever. I thought it best she did not know the pain of who she truly is, nor how she will meet her end. I simply know how and when it will come to pass. Yet, it was quite surprising to see how deeply attuned to your pain she is... and in the grand scheme of things it drew her like a moth to a flame, right into Cazador's grasp..."

Astarion began to feel violently ill, and he couldn't understand why. "Wait, what do you mean, what are you talking about---"

"Oh hush now, don't tell me you care for her? I would find that hard to believe..." She grinned, her very nature compelled to be intrigued by displays of affection, especially when they bloomed in the most unlikely of circumstances."However, I must go now, little vampling. But do not worry, Tav will be remembered, I will personally make sure to immortalize her in the stars for her valiant sacrifice."

"No!" Astarion cried out as he thrashed on the floor, suddenly regaining consciousness underneath Tav's tear-brimmed eyes.

She had been trying desperately to bring the pale elf back to consciousness after he'd dropped to the ground unexpectedly, his red eyes rolled to the back of his head and his body wracked by convulsions.

"Astarion!" She shook him a little more for good measure. "Astarion stay with me!" Tav let out a little sob, never having come across a physical ailment she hadn't been able to cure.

"Hells below..." Astarion cursed, slowly managing to sit up as he caught up with what had just happened.

Tav was quite a sight for a creature who hardly ever seemed to be affected by anything. Tear-stained cheeks, her hands twisting in the fabric of her dress. Astarion couldn't recall the last time someone had ever displayed worry over him. And now that he knew the truth about so many things, he didn't deem himself worthy of it. "Cheer up, sweet, I'm alright." He couldn't help but say, pinching her nose softly between his curled fingers.

"Alright?!" Tav barked at him, huffing and shooing his hand away. "You dropped to the ground like a sack of potatoes and then you started convulsing!" She accused as if Astarion had done so on purpose. "You were completely unresponsive for almost half of an hour! How often does this happen for you to think it's alright?"

Astarion could think of a million things to say. A close encounter with Tav's dear old mom being the explanation at the forefront of his mind. But the implications of that conversation having undeniably taken place (considering it hadn't been just some weird dream as he'd liked to have hoped) were too painful to consider. He should have been thinking about the fact that Cazador planned to sacrifice him. He should have been burning with rage at the mere thought of his death aiding his captor on the path to becoming god-like.

Instead, all he could do was laugh, enjoying the way it riled up Tav even more. "Like a what? Darling, I must say my likeliness has been compared to many things in my lifetime, but a sack of potatoes has certainly never made the list..."

"Oh well, then may I suggest that 'obtuse ass' also be included?" She retorted, getting in his face as she was completely unamused by the way he was belittling her concern.

"Do you spend a lot of time thinking about the shape of my backside?" Astarion tilted his head closer too, meaning to snap back at Tav, but instantly realizing his words had come out quite a bit softer than intended.

"I-I don't see how that's relevant..." Tav whispered, mimicking his tone as her pupils turned into the size of saucers.

"You're the one who brought it up..." Astarion shrugged, as he had a very private laugh within himself at Tav's expense. She was so gullible, he could have eaten her up.

"No! You have misunderstood me. Please, I apologize if I have made you feel--" Tav was in the middle of expressing a sincere apology when she realized Astarion could no longer contain the amusement he was having at her expense. "You are despicable!" She huffed, doing a poor attempt at shoving at his chest before getting herself back up on her feet.

Astarion chose to admire her a few seconds more from where he was sitting on the ground. "Now that, my darling... is something I've definitely been called before."

Tav crossed her arms over her chest as she adamantly checked on his capability to stand back up on his feet again. "How will you know it won't happen again?" She asked him seriously, referring to the episode that had just transpired.

"No, I'm pretty sure I'll get called 'despicable' again for days to come." Astarion attempted to avoid the question.

"I meant you fainting!" Tav insisted.

"I've... got a pretty good idea of what I need to do to stop it from happening again." Running away from this hellhole, and leaving you here none the wiser, so I don't get any more friendly reminders from your mother, Astarion thought to himself as he swallowed down a knot in his throat. He looked out the window and recognized the familiar hues of light. The day was coming and he wasn't going to be able to leave until it was over.

Astarion needed to get his affairs in order and rest. Staying simply wasn't an option.

Not to mention, he was practically starving.

His gaze began to linger extensively on Tav as she stared into the fireplace.

"You've been up all night, darling---" Astarion snapped out of his reverie and began to fret as he started closing all the window panes, making sure not a single ray of light would be able to break through. "Surely, surely it would be good for you to get some rest, no? In your room that is --- far, far away from me, I mean- I have tasks to do now. Servants are terribly, terribly busy people, you see---" He continued to ramble as he not so subtly nudged Tav out of his room, guiding her to the door. "I must get to my work-"

"But you are clearly unwell! You're the one who must rest, Astarion. You're even paler than usual-" Tav protested, turning into his arms to look up at him in defiance once more.

"May the gods help me -- no, actually let's leave them out of this -- must you stick your pretty little nose in everything I do? I can take care of myself and I'm not the helpless little critter you seem to think you've stumbled upon-" Astarion had intended on pushing Tav out of the room, but all he was doing in actuality was bringing her closer to his body.

"Well, you've certainly given me plenty of proof on that front haven't you?" Tav spat and twisted her hands in his worn-out shirt.

Just like that, they were back to arguing again, except this time it wasn't amusing for either of them.

"Proof? Is that what you want?" Astarion asked her, losing his last nerve to hunger and exhaustion.

The curtain fell, and Tav looked back into the face of a vampire.

---

A.N: hehe, oh how I like to tease you so. Okay real talk, this is now an ongoing fic. Truly, you guys have given me so much love, and I'm overwhelmed. I'm really enjoying writing this story and I thank you all for joining the ride. stay tuned for part 4!

This story is also on Ao3 btw, for the people who prefer reading it there.

tag list (if you want to be added to the tag list, just let me know!): @d0nutkaky0in @i-just-want-to-sleep-97 @omggiannarosa @dead-giirl-walking @warbwarts @mrsfullbuster500 @uwomina @iyaesakura @cheeslyy @dragon-kazansky @bambamwolf87 @chibi-chi @orsomethingelseentirely @davenswitcher @adequate-superstar @ophelias-flowerss @tragedybunny @yaimlight @the-golden-ouroboros @candyladycry @babygirlbrainrot @mariposakitten @blobs-away @biganddrunkunicorn @astarionmisc @the-garbage-central @raviolixxx

[mysteryinkkat234]

The Night of Pleasure and The Past (Astarion x F!Tav/Reader)

I have lived, where have I been, how should I explain myself? The short version: work, school, low motivation, and being very very sad. But I'm back again, with a new obsession. For real, if I'm not working or at school or doing homework, I'm playing Baldur's Gate (I have four separate playthroughs Gods help me). Anyway, this series, Fangs and Nightshade, is going to be many anecdotes about my playthrough with my blue tiefling cleric, Luxia Nightshade, and her escapades with a sad vampire boy. The stories will be in order in the game so spoilers abound. I hope you enjoy it. If you have any suggestions or story ideas, my inbox is open.

Also shout you to my new friend @leighsartworks216 for peer reviewing, thank you!!

Summary: It was meant to be a night to escape from their days of fantastical shenanigans. A hag, the goblin camp worshipping a new and mysterious god, exploring the Underdark, there was a lot of stress built up in everyone. Luxia Nightshade, resident Cleric and unofficial 'mother' of the group, decided to take up Astarion's offer, to get lost in the night. But during it, she could feel something was wrong.

(This contains spoilers for Act 1 and references to Astarion's past, read with caution)

This is 18+ and deals with a lot of heavy subjects, especially about sex, if you are underage or your account does have an age, DNI

Spice Level Anaheim Pepper (500 - 2,500): This smut contains vaginal sex, outdoor sex, fingering, nicknames (bunny and pup), and basically everything that happens in Astarion's Act 1 companion scene.

Word Count: 4,300+ words

Read and Bookmark this story on AO3

~~~

It was a night of fanfare and victory after the Absolute Cult was defeated in the temple. The tieflings set up a small party at their camp. Everyone seemed to be having a lovely time: singing around their campfire, finally talking casually instead of tactically, and most of the children wanting to pet Scratch.

Everyone was having a great night… except Astarion, leaning on one of the poles holding up his tent, silently chugging the bottle of cheap and gross wine. It’s not that he was grateful to save these tieflings, it was more that it was the first time in two centuries that he did something good, something nice, something to help them instead of to gain something. He didn’t get a choice whether or not he wanted to save these tieflings, that would be the party’s unofficial leader: Luxia Nightshade. 

A blue tiefling with eyes as white as the moon, horns curled like a sheep’s, and the personality of a doting mother. Gale joked that Luxia acts as a mother and the rest of the party are the ‘unique’ children she has to watch over to make sure nobody dies a grizzly and painful death. Soon, that title of ‘mother’ seemed to stick to her. She would laugh at Karlach who instead of calling her ‘soldier’ started calling her ‘mom’. Luxia’s giggling at being called ‘mother’ was almost infectious… almost nauseating.

Astarion hated her. He thought she would be easy to manipulate; he looked almost like a lost child looking for her mother. When Luxia caught him about to bite her, she wasn’t angry… well sort of. More disappointed that he didn’t tell her in the first place. Is she being serious? Was she expecting him the first time they met: ‘Hello, My name is Astarion, I am a vampire’? But, she wasn’t an innocent kid – she was an adult, an adult with an understanding for others, no matter who or where they came from.

He knew after that day that Luxia could be trusted. She wasn’t asking about someone’s personal life for blackmail purposes, she was just genuinely curious. She was an open book.

Astarion thought about this when he saw her, socializing with the party’s wizard, Gale. Gale and Luxia looked perfect together; two magical dorks, plain and simple. It wasn’t that Astarion was jealous… maybe a little bit… He shouldn’t be, I mean, Luxia was pretty open with their friendship, she would probably tell someone that she liked them… and Luxia has said she liked him, as a friend, as a companion… was he reading too much into this?

“Astarion,” her sweet voice broke him out of his questioning. He almost stumbled a bit. She seemed to have a knack for appearing out of nowhere – she was probably small enough to do it too, being the shortest in the group. “Are you… ok?” She asked politely. Astarion coughed.

“Oh! Hello dear, didn’t see you coming.” Astarion lied, trying to act casual.

Luxia didn’t believe it though. Instead, she laughed, covering her giggles with her hand.

She immediately retracts her arm, holding her hands together behind her back. “No, I get it. I assumed you were getting all drunk and merry.”

He laughed at her comment. “You know, I never pictured myself as a hero.” Luxia tilted her head. “Never thought I’d be the one they toast for saving so many lives. And now that I’m here…” Astarion took another slug of wine from the bottle. “I hate it. This is awful.” 

Luxia shook her head, laughing again. “Come on, it wasn’t all bad,” she whined. “We took out the cult from the inside out, we found a ladder to the Underdark, the fire we made in front of the temple. Think about all the goblins you killed with that Alchemist’s Fire!” Her white eyes gleamed when she retold the story. Astarion could see her feet scuttling while she talked, like an excited kid.

He laughed to himself. “True. That was fun. Still, I would’ve liked more for my trouble than a pat on the head and vinegar for wine.”

“It can’t be that bad.” Luxia gently took the bottle out of Astarion’s hand. She took a sip and made a face. It was sour, almost too sour for it to be edible. She silently gave him back the bottle.

He exhaled through his nose as Luxia made a face. “See?” he asked cockily.

“Yeah… I’m more into sweet alcohol, I’m not a partaker in it anyway,” she said quietly, almost embarrassed by her expression. 

“I’m just looking for a little bit more excitement, a little bit more fun.”

Luxia tilted her head again. She knew where this was going, but she’ll play along. “What do you mean? Is living in constant peril not exciting enough for you?” she quipped back. His laugh was more audible, and her face was flushed, trying not to make direct eye contact. 

“Don’t be so sour – literally,” he snorted. “I like a good time as much as anyone.” Astarion’s ruby eyes trail off to Luxia, analyzing her body. Unlike the last time, when he looked at her and wanted to feed off her, he could feel a heat that wasn’t caused by the fire. She’s so small, Astarion could easily pick her up and ravage her, pin her against a tree, and make her squeak with pleasure… an idea popped into his head. He scratched the back of his neck. “You know, we could always make our own entertainment, darling. Get a little closer, so to speak.” His voice became more sultry, trying to lure her in. And it was working. 

Luxia looked down, her face darker from blush. She bit the knuckle of her pointer. She laughed to herself, trying to be composed. “Maaaaybe,” she steps a little closer to Astarion, “if you say ‘please’.”

Astarion was taken aback, dumbfounded. “What?”

She stepped closer and looked directly at him. She leaned forward, their chests almost touching. “Say ‘please’.” 

Her voice… Gods her voice, so sickly sweet, like honey slowly dripping down a hive. Astarion didn’t know she had this confidence – he took her more as the one to get hit on instead of the other way around, or maybe it was liquid courage.

He inhales through his nose, getting closer to Luxia’s ear. “Please?” He whispered. She could feel his hot breath, he could hear her exhaling quickly. He took her breath away. A sly smile planted on his face.

She laughed again, stepping back to give them both space. “Maybe. I’ll think about it. There are some other people I want to talk to. It’s not like I don’t want to, I just…” She took a deep breath, closing her eyes. “Let me think about it, ok?” 

“Hm, fine, I guess,” he sighed, both in disappointment and how he believes, “I’ll be waiting for you. We’ll find each other.” Luxia simply nodded and turned around. However, she was stopped as Astarion kept speaking. “I never thought you could make such a devoted leader. I’m happy for you.”

She smiled, her oddly cute pointed teeth shined in the moon. “Thank you,” was all she said, as she walked away from him, almost skipping for a few steps.

Astarion simply watched, his eyes still moving down to her waist: an innocent little skip with hips swaying back and forth, her tail whipping with it. He sighs, looking up at the stars. He indeed was just looking for some sex and that’s it, but that ‘something’ was back. He closed his eyes and imagined Luxia. Instead of pinned on the tree like last time, he could imagine her in an elegant bed, covered in the silkiest of robes or blankets… no, a nice dark blue silky robe. Maybe one of the sleeves falls off her shoulder, showing off her freckles sprinkled about… no, why was he thinking this? Did he think about this with other people? No, they were only victims, for him.

He looked around, looking for her again. She was with Shadowheart, sharing a bottle of that god-awful wine. Didn’t she just say she didn’t like it? They were laughing and giggling together, Luxia covering her face for a moment, to cover her flushed cheeks. In the night, Astarion could see her moon-shaped eyes looking right at him before she quickly averted her gaze. This was going to be a long night of waiting.

~~~

He rolled his neck as he waited out in the middle of the woods, far away enough from the camp, but not too far away that it would be that long of a walk. He rubbed his chest, thinking deeply. She probably won’t come, he thought. She’s probably with Gale like I thought, using his Mage Hand to pleasure her. 

The rustling of the grass snapped him out of his trance. He turned his head and saw… Luxia? She walked slowly around, clearly looking for him. Astarion took a deep breath and made himself known to her. 

“There you are,” his voice was deeper, more sultry. “I’ve been waiting. Waiting for the moment I set my eyes on you.” He paused, he slowly brought his hand to her face, his fingers tangled in her messy blue hair. She softly smiled. “Waiting to have you.”

She laughed lightly, her hand slithered over his hand, interlocking through the gaps. “You don’t have me, yet.” Her thumb rubbed over his palm, her nails only grazing. “Were you waiting for me this whole time? What would happen if I didn’t show up?”

Astarion chuckled darkly. “Well, you’re here now, aren’t you? And, I don’t think you came here just to talk.” His hand slowly moved to her jaw as he stepped closer, the space between them closing slowly. “I think you want to be known, to be tasted.” His thumb rubbed her bottom lip. Gods her lips were so soft. He’d tasted her blood, and he hoped she tasted just as delectable as that.

Her smile went neutral, and she wrapped her hand around his wrist, taking it away from her face. Despite the feeling, Luxia could feel something underneath the showmanship. it almost felt… uncomfortably familiar. She took a deep breath before she spoke. “What exactly do you want then?”

“What do any of us want? Pleasure. Yours. Mine. Our collective ecstasy,” he clearly dodged the question with another question. Luxia started picking at the skin on her fingers. “That is what you want, isn’t it? To lose yourself in me?” He smiled, and his hand moved back, this time both of his hands rested on her jaw. 

Maybe he just wanted a distraction: They killed a hag, saved the Emerald Grove, and explored the Underdark – there was so much bottled-up stress that was in everyone. This’ll probably be the only night they get to feel something other than fear. People have different ways of releasing all this stress, and maybe this was his way of dealing with it. Luxia has met people like this and it was fine. She nodded in his hands. “Yes,” she whispered.

His smile turned more sly. “That’s what I thought.” His chuckle sent a shiver down her spine. “Now, how about I help you get comfortable.” Astarion began moving his hands around her body, starting with the blue corset compacting her, loosening it. Luxia sighed, now with her breasts freed from the confines of such an uncomfortable piece of clothing. She started undoing the buttons on her blouse, and soon, her chest was free. Astarion looked in awe.

A chill ran through the forest, making Luxia and Astarion’s nipples harden. Luxia hugged herself, covering her perky breasts in the process. Astarion laughed. “Don’t be afraid, little bunny. I have been waiting way too long to see your gorgeous body.”  

“It’s cold, Astarion,” Luxia whined as Astarion started loosening her pants, pulling them down with her underwear in the process. Luxia could still feel the chill, from head to the tip of her tail that started swaying more quickly than usual.

He laughs again as he loosens his own pants. “Darling, I will have you burning with desire from the inside out, hotter than the Hells itself.” When his pants and underwear were finally off, Luxia stared, trying not to linger for too long, but she was a bit obvious about it. He laughed. “You are just the cutest thing in all of Faerûn.” They finally did it, they kissed. And Gods her lips were just as delectable as he thought: soft with the subtle taste of mint and that sour wine. But, somehow, it tasted sweeter.

His tongue swiped her bottom lip, tasting that mint and wine, and plunging his tongue in. The moan that came out of her, sounded so heavenly, just as sweet as her laugh in the morning. He broke away, a string of saliva the only thing connecting them. Luxia looked into his eyes, red eyes staring back. She noticed that he had these moments of constantly looking around, probably so he could take something without anyone’s notice, but during camp, his eyes were always darting. Luxia felt important at the moment, but there was a feeling that… he was dissociating. 

“Astarion…” she whispered, her breath still taken away. “Are you okay?” she asked with genuine concern, her arms wrapped around his neck.

“Oh, I am more than ok.” His voice kept getting darker, his eyes trailing down to her lower half. With a sudden movement, Astarion lifted her up by her bottom, her legs suddenly locked around his waist. He laughed, carrying her and planting her back on one of the trees. His kisses continued, starting from her lovely lips to her neck, littered with freckles.

His lips grazed the puncture wounds, the same marks he made when she let him bite her. As he licked the wound, Luxia’s body shivered again. Inside of the chill was pleasure. “Fuck!” she exclaimed, her grip on his back grew tighter and more painful, her nails close to digging into him. “Fuckfuckfuckfuck!” She squealed under her breath. 

“Ah, so our innocent leader does have the mouth of a sailor,” he teased her. One hand left her bottom, his fingers masterfully massaging her folds and clit. Luxia gasped again. “I wonder what other cute noises you can make.” Astarion’s finger slips in, Luxia’s plan of desperately trying to keep her moans in has failed. Her body moved up and down Astarion’s body, her fingers moving around his back. Despite all the fights they’d been through together, his skin was quite soft, though she could feel prominent scars on his back – they didn’t feel random, they felt intentional. 

She laughs at Astarion’s little comment. Luxia gave him a slow and sensual kiss. “Really? Because I wonder what kind of cute noises you can make, too.” She leaned her full body forward, making Astarion lose his footing, stumble, and soon fall onto the ground. 

Now Luxia was on top, she thought her flirty little comment would ‘spice things up’, to try and one-up Astarion’s constant comments. But something still didn’t feel right, he was still staring, and his eyes didn’t seem to move to look at her body – not at her tail, freed from the tree, now wagging once again, not her hands on top of him, or even her blown-out white eyes, now filled with desire. Though he had a surprised expression when she ‘pushed him’ down, it immediately shifted to that damned smirk. Is he… getting any satisfaction from this?

Luxia smiled innocently, ready to suggest riding him, or maybe… she could go down on him? Get back at him? When she tries to move down to his lower half, Astarion stops her, gripping her by her shoulder. “Astarion?” she whispered, not sure what he wanted. Astarion through this whole situation didn’t communicate anything to her, he didn’t ask what she wanted, what he wanted. Body language can only go so far, especially when he looked like he was in a dazed state through the whole thing. 

Astarion’s sly smile became more toothy, and with the hand on her shoulder, he pushed her off of him. Luxia was pushed onto the ground, his arms trapped her underneath. “You think you’re shrewd, don’t you? Cheeky little pup,” he chuckled, looking at her shocked and blissed-out face. “Perhaps it’s time for the puppy to finally be punished.” 

He began rubbing himself up and down Luxia’s folds, now wet from Astarion’s previous escapade. He leaned his head down, kissing her neck softly. Even though he was a vampire, and technically undead, his body felt like it was on fire. His kisses felt like small embers hitting her neck, making her squeal and jump from it.

Astarion laughed, probably for the final time tonight. Simultaneously, he inserted himself quickly inside her and bit into her neck.  

Luxia moaned out, a mix of pain and pleasure. She wrapped her arms around his neck, Astarion’s thrusts were slow at first, probably because he was focusing on sucking Luxia’s blood. “Astarion stop~ I’m going to… pass out.” Her breath was being taken away, and she could feel her body getting weaker and weaker.

“Oh, darling~ Hold on for a little longer,” Astarion moaned out, his fangs finally out of her. His thrusts began getting harder, and the sound of slapping skin echoed into the woods as he sat up, holding her hips in place. Luxia’s hands scrambled, she had the instinct to hold onto his hands, the idea of her finger interlocking with his. When she moved her hands to his, to snake her fingers through, however, Astarion had different ideas. 

He lifted her legs, her ankles now resting on his shoulders. Astarion’s grip on her hips was steely, to the point it was starting to hurt. There was no room for her hands, so instead, she locked onto his wrists. His thrusts became faster, making Luxia more audible, her head snapped back from the pleasure. She started to beg. “Astarion, please~ I can feel it. Please, don’t stop~” she moaned out. The grip on his wrists, her nails were close to puncture his skin. “Please, hah~ Astarion!!” 

Luxia’s eyes were shut tight through the orgasm, her grip on his wrists finally let go, and what remained were small marks, thankfully there was no blood. She tried to open her eyes, the foggy outline of Astarion stretching. Luxia’s head started to hurt, her eyes slowly closed, and the cold embrace of the grass tickled her burning skin. Her breaths were heavy, trying to catch as much air as possible. Luxia let sleep take hold of her, thinking of Astarion holding her, as the world around her became muffled.

~~~

The sun’s rays shot through the branches onto Luxia’s body. Her eyes slowly opened and squinted at the new day upon her. She moaned out a yawn, stretching her legs, arms, back, and tail. Luxia rolled her neck as her vision cleared, and soon the image of Astarion appeared, bathing in the sunlight, his arms spread to take it all in. Astarion told her before that the tadpole allowed him to be in the sunlight without disintegrating. Luxia felt sorry for him – this was probably the first time Astarion got to bathe in sunlight in over 200 years.

She smiled at him, holding onto her knees. “You’re not going to stay and cuddle?” she asked, cheeky but also disappointed, hoping to hold onto someone. 

He inhaled, sighing. “You sleep light. I thought you would be exhausted after last night,” he commented. 

“Yeah, me too,” Luxia laughed it out, holding onto her bruised neck. Feeling the puncture wounds he left, a green glow emanated from her palm, healing the blood and wounds. She went back to a more serious tone, “Did you… enjoy it? You didn’t look like you were… all there.” Luxia said it with genuine concern, hoping he would understand it.

“I was holding back a little, it’s true. I didn’t want to lose control. Delicious as you were, I didn’t want to go too far.” Luxia blushed from the compliment, hiding her face in her knees. “Now, shall we go? I want to go before anyone else thanks me for saving their tails.” His tone changed, and he was quick to leave. Thankfully, Luxia was quick to stop him from leaving, wanting to talk to him more.

She now had a clearer view of the scars on his back. Just like Luxia theorized, the scars formed two circles of Infernal script. She paused, making sure she said the right words without offending him. “Wait, your scars… Where… How did you get them?” she asked in her curious and polite tone like always. It didn’t sound like she was fucked to the high Heavens last night. 

“It’s a poem, from Cazador. He considered himself quite the artist and used his slaves as a canvas. He composed and carved that one over the course of a night. He made… a lot of revisions as he went.” Astarion’s voice grew sad and cold. 

“Gods, I… I can’t imagine.” Luxia stood up as Astarion turned around to face her, stretching out her legs once more. As she walked over to Astarion, she could see the marks more clearly… it was written with a very familiar script. “Why is it written in Infernal?” she asked plainly.

This took Astarion by surprise, This took Astarion by surprise, how fast she was to jump to that conclusion, He was flabbergasted. “Infernal? I… who knows? The bastard was insane.” 

“You know, I could read it for you,” Luxia suggested, eager to help him in any way possible.

His eyebrows raised in surprise at her eagerness. “I… I suppose it couldn’t hurt.” Astarion was hesitant at first, Astarion was hesitant at first, but he allowed her to look at his scars. 

Luxia skimmed through the script, inching closer to him. She could piece together certain words that were familiar, but they looked to be random words strung together. “Oaths… fires below,” she whispered, her hand reaching out to maybe feel the words, but Astarion could feel the heat of her hand coming closer, and he stepped away from her, clearly uncomfortable.

“And? What does it say?” Astarion sounded embarrassed and insecure.

“This isn’t a poem. It might be part of a devil’s pact,” Luxia explained. “The word ‘oath’ is definitely a dead giveaway, but other than that, I can’t make out the other words.”

“Really? A tiefling not able to understand Infernal?” he scoffed.

Luxia pouted. “I’m sorry, but did you hear any of the tieflings speaking infernal in the Emerald Grove?” she snapped back.

Astarion paused for a moment, clearly embarrassed. “... A little?”

She laughed it off. “It’s fine. There were no other tieflings living in Karador besides me and my parents. I do know Elvish and Gnomish!” 

“Yes, because that’ll help us in the long run,” he spoke sarcastically, he turned around, not interested in this new information, “Still though, an infernal pact? What was that bastard up to?”

“If he did make a devil’s pact, he’s more dangerous than we thought.” 

“More dangerous than you thought, perhaps. I’ve never had any doubts. But if this is part of a contract, it must be powerful. Or valuable. Or both.” Astarion sighed. “No wonder he wants me back. What have I run off with…?” 

“Does Cazador know Infernal? Did he ever write in it before?” 

“No. I could have missed it, of course, but I doubt it. Cazador was only figuratively hellish - there were never any devils hanging about the crypt. Whatever he’s left carved in my flesh, it’s a mystery to both of us.”

“If you’re comfortable, when we get back to camp, I can get my journal and write out the signs. I can probably find a book that translates Infernal text.”

“... Thank you, that would be… nice.” Astarion relaxed, he picked up his shirt and Luxia’s clothes, handing them to her.

[pompoison]

Trigun Stampede Finale - Episode 12 Thoughts from Pom

0) Knives likes cowboys. His gap moe just keeps getting better. What a dork? I love him?

1) Meryl’s character growth has been super fulfilling to watch. I love how she stopped Knives’ plan to kill everyone by taking those steps to reach Vash. She did something so dangerous, risking an agonizing death at Millions Knives’ hands to save everyone, instead of freezing in terror like a lot of people would have done in that situation! I respect her SO MUCH.

2) Knives’ roar of outrage when he tries to kill Meryl. It really is always a brunette getting between him and Vash isn’t it? Junya Ikeda acted his heart out and it was amazing to hear how incensed Knives was while also hearing the panic of losing Vash in his voice too. I feared for Meryl as much as I felt heartbroken for Knives.

3) That scene with Vash awakening to save Meryl was some good food. Actually shivered when he thanked her as he stepped back into the fray to face Knives. The sound design, animation and voice acting of this show is perfectly crafted to give you a rattling experience.

4) I am a Stampede undercut Vash appreciator, but I love Vash’s new look in this episode. The reveal when it finally settles into that shape is once again a testament to the love poured into this show. His antennae are prominent, his forehead is cute, and I’m overjoyed that this iconic look could be given to him without sacrificing his undercut. It’s aesthetically pleasing. I hope that they keep this look for Vash.

5) Knives is beautiful. What right did Orange have giving Knives the prettiest face on this show?

6) Vash’s wing is monstrous to behold. The exact moment when it unfurls during his fall from the tower is HAUNTING ME.

7) The way the flying fight scene perspective makes you feel Vash’s gunshots as if he’s shooting AT YOU when he’s shooting at Nai. Ow. Sexy but ow.

8) Nico picking up Meryl and booking it will live rent free in my head forever too. Take her and run. Pocket wife. Zoom.

9) Unhinged freak thoughts incoming! I thought I was scared of Vash’s forehead but I was actually just scared of the nape of his neck being stiff with hair gel. I have a thing about the back of the neck. It’s gotta be bare so it can be stroked with light malice and gripped with violent force. Vash’s forehead is for kissing and smacking and flicking things at (Everything I want Nico and Meryl to do). Vash’s NAPE is for sucking biting & pinching (Everything I want Knives to do). It’s good Vash’s underside is shaved because the back of his buzzed neck is ero, and because the bottom half of his skull is slightly bristly, a superior texture. If Knives wants to grab him by the neck he can feel the warmth of Vash’s skin and pulse under his palm. If he wants to hold Vash by his hair he can grab a fistful from the top of his head. It’s perfect for my deranged imagination.

10) Kisses Vash’s forehead. Kisses it so much.

11) Vash bit Knives’ hand like an incensed dog and looked adorable doing it.

12) Millions “Hysterically appalled by my Eve’s savior complex” Knives

13) I was on Knives’ side when he said, in breathless horror, “After more than a century, that’s the best answer you could come up with?!” Seriously, Vash, that was such a lackluster response! I don’t care if you got shot fifteen times by the JuLai police, when you fly into the stratosphere with your brother who is in love with you you have a serious heart to heart with him! Jerk! /kidding

14) Knives finally realizing Vash is lost to him forever in that scene haunts me. He’s devastated. I picked the right antagonist to stan. This hurts so much.

15) Knives being the powerless one, having Vash wrenched away from him again and again, even though he promises to keep fighting for him is what gets me. Stampede is relentless about confronting you, the audience, with the fact that Knives is an EXTREMELY romantic character. Knives is SO WEIRD— he has these violent murderous methods, and yet he also represents this ideal paradigm of undying love. He’s not just a yandere. His heart was BROKEN this ep. He was squashed. The irony that the guy who hates all of humanity experiences so much humanity is buckwild. Knives is a romantic character even if some audiences find it repellant to ship him with Vash. His love for Vash is as unhesitant as it is unhealthy, to dramatic effect. The more Knives and Vash push against each other’s ideals, the tighter those ideals coil.

16) Those were the most beautiful dying words I’ve ever heard, thanks Knives I’m sobbing. You still do everything for that impossible “Us,” even after everything. Even after Vash has chosen humans over you every time. I love this sad lovesick plant.

17) Knives always keeps his promises to Vash. No, I haven’t read Trimax yet, but I know we haven’t seen the last of him.

18) The way Vash screams “Nai!” and sobbing Nai’s name while falling back to Earth can become my new ring tone! Congratulations to Yoshitsugu Matsuoka for bringing such a heartwrenching performance to Trigun Stampede Vash. ;-; </3 I love hearing his uniquely soft voice.

19) Stampede Eriks my beloved. Brokenly playing piano because it’s his last connection to Nai. He thinks he’s killed Nai and all the plants in addition to destroying JuLai. My depressed, remorseful baby oh my god.

20) Season 2 confirmed! 🎉 THANK YOU SO MUCH STUDIO ORANGE AND CONGRATULATIONS!💕🍊

Extra Thoughts!

21) Honestly, I feel relieved that Season 2 is a ways off in the future. It gives me time to thoroughly enjoy the massive amount of beautiful fanart and fanfic that’s been created. I was kind of just shoving it all in my mouth before and I want to savor it with a calmer frame of mind.

22) From my perspective as a fan creator who also makes original comics the pause period gives me a sense of breathing room to digest what I felt from this show and make the best possible fan creations about it. All my fanart so far has been made in a rush of passion. That’s fun and exciting, but without reflection, it lacks focus. I look forward to reading Trimax and fully learning all of the story. Also looking forward to do solo and collaborative zines, among other future Trigun fan projects!

23) I’ll admit that Stampede was my introduction to becoming a fan of Trigun, and yet, I feel safe and understood by Studio Orange’s retelling in a way I can’t articulate or justify. “They Get It” has no business coming from my mouth, but it is the way I feel, for some reason. How did they do that? It must be magic. Thank you Orange! Because of Stampede, I fell in love with all of Trigun. Met some really cool people, too. ;-; A

[wataksampingan]

Spoilers for Ep 69 COZ OF COURSE I'M SCREAMING (as well as Ep 70 and beyond coz I apparently hate myself and spoiled myself on Naver Webtoon. Again.)

It's a SUPREMELY interesting choice of translation in that scene where Theo has to pretend he knows how to behave like a normal loving husband. The English line the translator chose is "Isn't that right, Pereshati?"

Which is fine, coz 1) he doesn't call her anything different, and 2) this is a far more subtle shift - Theo only says her name in highlighted moments (e.g. when he fell off the bed, when he noticed her a little unsettled by his ferocity in the last chapter). Otherwise, his dialogue doesn't use her name at all. So this is him trying to emphasise their closeness... by using her full name (Lord love you Therdeo Lapileon, you hopeless dork)

However. In the original hangul, he outright calls her 부인 (buin) - 'wife'. Just to hammer in the awkwardness of "HI YES HELLO WE ARE EXTREMELY MARRIED, YES THIS IS MY TRUE, LEGIT WIFE, NOTHING ELSE GOING ON HERE" (the Webtoon comment that called him "an underrated comedy king" should be one of the top comments of the YEAR coz it's truer than we could've ever hoped)

Anyway, in modern usage(?) apparently its considered impolite to refer to your own wife as "buin" (someone better versed in Korean, please enlighten me)? It's more appropriately used to refer to another person's wife. But technically speaking, MILAOWM is set in some... 18th-19th century world so I would argue it could be okay to use...?

It's possible that it could be an equivalent to the way "madam" was used in the Regency era when men would and did call their own wives "madam". It was considered a proper term of address back then so I can only suppose "부인" in this regard can act the same way. But, I also recognise it would be a pain in the ass to translate it as "isn't that right, madam?" and then have the entire fanbase go berserk over why he's calling her something we mostly recognise as a formal term for strangers these days.

The... unofficial, let's say, translation went with "isn't that right honey?" which, while it would have achieved the same effect as 부인on the readership, also isn't quite the most accurate read on the line.

Literally speaking, the translation would have been: "Right, wife?"

...which would have been hilarious, but also WAY too close to Borat and just... undermines his dignity as a ML, possibly to irreparable extents (maybe? I don't think I would have minded coz there is really no fooling us at this point: Theo can do cool things if he puts his mind to it, but his default is Socially Awkward)

But because I'm biased: just you wait, Perry. We're all waiting with you for the time he smiles at you with his whole heart and you MELT - JUST WAIT.

Anyway, I thought that was just interesting and just makes me determined to keep Google Translating my way through the Naver versions. Also reading it on Naver is how I found the April Fool's 4koma and let's not go there coz I'm already thoroughly distracted.

The hand holding is just icing on the cake. Theo shattered me into pieces for a variety of reasons, but the hand holding is just *chef's kiss*. At this point, this is all progress on Theo's part ("if it's Pereshati, it's okay also I'm in love but no one say anything about that yet") it'll be another long wait until she figures out that she's fallen for him (so we hope) We are all Vicountess Otiz at this point.

We are also all Gloria Lapileon. MADAM. YOUR GRACE, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING.

That determined LOOK on her face in Episode 70 after she sort of denies Daniel a chance to play Cupid since Theo clearly hasn't made any progress in wooing Perry. That is the expression of a Grandmother with A Plan to Help Her Awkward Grandson Win the Hand of the Fair Lady who Saved Her Great Grandson/Family. I know she's been given the idiot ball to hold this whole time with regards to her own family and their household, but I love this matriarch and I wish her every success.

Meanwhile, the other current love of my life, Pereshati - is so tired of shenanigans and having to worry about so many people. I'm crying. She literally mutters to herself, "Why am I surrounded by weak* men?" and the bodyguard nearby, in utter shock, thinks to himself 'd-does she mean even the Grand Duke?'

[*the 'weak' here can refer to physically weak in hangul]

Just to preempt the "PERESHATI DON'T BE MEAN" comments, look at this from her perspective:

Count Jahardt: been sickly most of her adult life

Theo Lapileon: has just recovered from seizures, severe blood loss and a 3 day coma, and is honestly more fragile than he lets on

Adeus Potson: has been hurt twice, looks like a puff of air could blow him over

Celphius Lapileon: probably not included in her list, but he's still a wee babby, also full of toxic blood, and must be protected at all times

She's just so tired, guys. Exhausted by everything. Men, essentially (the women are also exhausting but they're not as fragile).

Also she doesn't have the full picture of the kind of demons Theo has been fighting/Adeus' true motives (though that is about to come SHOOTING OUT THE LEFT GATE) so we'll see how this shakes out eventually if/when she finds everything out.

I am not ready for Ep 75 being the season 1 finale. Truly I am Not Ready, but it must be done of course. I don't know how seungu is doing but I hope they're able to rest and recuperate and take care of themselves so this series can continue fucking me up being lovely and the target of my current obsession.

Shout out to Islette and Phineas - please let this father-daughter side relationship be given a spin-off/side stories coz poor Islette has been subjected, undoubtedly, to Phineas' unceasing tutoring coz he's a well-meaning worrywart and probably wants her to get up to the level of literacy she should have at her age (regardless of the trauma) and I just want to see how Phineas learns and grows to become the most whipped papa in the world

Honestly: who run this world? Girls.

(Okay, girls AND Marvin and Celphi, coz that map foreshadowing is heavy; why is Schwartz not considered a vassal state of Castor, despite having been defeated recently? HMMM.)

[jmdbjk]

Bangtan weekly report.

On the Street on first listen/MV watch did not make me warm and fuzzy. It was melancholy, it made me sad. 

Watching it again and again, some of the imagery is hard to interpret, like the small sidewalk memorial off to the side with the yellow and white flowers. 

But some of the other imagery was definitely obvious. The child representing Army (again). The location: Bowery Station. 

The MV was not as dancey as I thought it would be. But since the moment I learned that J. Cole would be part of this I knew this was one of those full circle moments for Hobi. 

He preceded the premiere of the MV with a Weverse live on the banks of the Han River in Seoul. Walking around in public doing a live... we’ve come a long way people... I bet there was at least one security guy hovering out of the shot... hiding in the tall grass... somewhere nearby. 

Other developments this past week:

When I said “Instagram is going to go silent for a while unless JK wipes his feed again” I didn’t mean wipe it and then delete it, you big dork!!!! Be furrrrrrreallllll.

The estimated “value” of JK’s instagram followers was $50 million USD. All those potential partnership companies gagged and choked.

Jungkook informed fans of his withdrawal from Instagram which had as many followers as South Korea's total population: 52.4 million. It was estimated the value of one posting for Jungkook would have exceeded 1 billion won or almost $766,000 USD. His account value would have been in the tens of billions of won.

Okay, Kookie... just keep doing you. I love you anyway.

In other news (unfortunately):

So, if the Korail employee knows private information such as addresses and such (scary and mind-boggling)... Namjoon would have no choice but to reveal information before anyone else has a chance to do it and incur any more damage to his reputation or compromise the information for anyone he knows if that’s the type of info they had access to. In other words, don’t be surprised when Namjoon reveals personal info before anyone else has a chance to do it.

I hope it is plain to see why Jimin doesn’t even let us know what color his walls are or to understand why Jungkook may have left Instagram. There is too much chance of anyone figuring out information just from being able to identify objects and things in photos. Who knows what other private info of theirs is already breached and in the hands of nefarious people.

It is so concerning to me that I even question when Jungkook gives us details about the amenities at Bam’s new training place. DON’T TELL US!

The Tiffany & Co. ambassadorship... and the dollars keep rolling in for our precious little 21st Century Pop Icon who is just our goofy friend in sweatpants who loves soju. 

We all noticed Jimin seemed to be “naked” when he attended the Dior menswear show back in January. When I say naked, I mean he wasn’t wearing a single piece of jewelry. We know this man loves him some bangly bangles and dangly earrings and spangly necklaces. He never goes anywhere without his signature hoop earrings on so we all felt something was missing.

And now we know he had this Tiffany deal up his sleeve. Seems like he was cleansing himself of jewelry. Starting fresh by being jewelry free in front of millions of eyes just so he could follow up with a jewelry refresh. Jimin will have Tiffany’s classic and polished pieces flying out of jewelry stores. Get ready for the Jimin effect. I hope they manufactured enough to satisfy demand. I can’t wait for the knock-offs so I can afford to wear a few look-alikes. 

Busan Expo update video. Filmed last October or November?

Inside Mang made me tear up. Their little virtual Mang interacting with Hobi was the sweetest thing. We will get a “real” Mang reveal soon!! Everything Hobi does is so well thought out. His attention to detail is astounding. I suppose Mang might serve a similar role that Wootteo did for Jin... (weeps). 

And Jimin on Insta and Weverse trying to catch up on the member’s content HE IS JUST LIKE ME! I CAN’T KEEP UP WITH ALL THE CONTENT EITHER, JIMIN!!! 

Jimin is about to slap us in the face with FACE... hold on to your asses we’re about to go for a ride on the Jimin freight train soon. 

[ficbrish]

The Sound of It

[AO3 Link]

[A treat for everyone in the 2023 Shenko Summer Exchange]

Rating: Teen and up

Tags: shenko summer treat, for the love of shenko, Fluff, Angst, Saying I Love You, Whole Trilogy, Dorks in Love, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Mass Effect 1, Alchera (Mass Effect), Horizon (Mass Effect), Mass Effect 3, POV Kaidan Alenko

[[TW/CW: Grief, expletive language]]

I wanted this to apply to all Shepards, so I use their name whenever I refer to them, and they/them pronouns when needed. The Shepard is a blank "insert your Shep here" Shepard. However, this is Shepard and Kaidan getting together in Mass Effect 1, which may deviate from other headcanons and/or playthroughs.

The sound of water coming through a faucet sounds different in space.

Chrrtsssshhhhhhhh is the sound of Earth’s gravity; Shurflunk—tunk-tunk-tunk-tunk is a pump punching through the vacuum and artificial gravity. It was the sound of the Asari and eezo echoing in Human routine.

Kaidan always knew First Contact revolutionized Human ships, but he didn’t know sinks were the way they are now because of the Asari.

“We all have to wash our faces,” Liara had explained the other day. Her cool tone would have been patronizing coming from anyone else.

Liara brought up a good point. Hell, Wrex washed his about three times a day! Which made sense for someone a few centuries old. Turns out no matter what species; if there’s a need, there’s a way to defy nature. Now they had adjustable water pressure in space.

“Ah!” Kaidan gasped. He forgot to turn on the hot water and splashed his face with what felt like liquid ice. His skin blushed in the mirror.

He sighed and wiped the water off the sides of the metal basin.

Kaidan gave his reflection a good, hard look: Get it together.

Shepard was there in his eyes when he closed them. He opened them again to a bewildered face in the mirror. It was obviously his reflection, but who was that stranger? Why did he look… happy?

He closed his eyes again.

Shepard was there. God, Shepard was there.

It was getting embarrassing, even when he already knew the taste of Shepard’s lips.

The heat and the softness. The fire. The stars.

Kaidan was trying so hard not to say it. It was too soon. They were still on duty.

What about shore lea—?

No, that’s still too soon!

He had to laugh at himself. Those words kept trying to burst past the brick wall of his mind into reality; into Shepard’s ears. The other day Kaidan literally had to bite his tongue.

“Why are you looking like that?” Shepard had asked him.

“Like what?”

“You’re making a face.”

“I’m not making a face.”

Now, in front of the mirror, Kaidan chewed on his tongue to see if Shepard was right.

Oh, crap! So he had been making a face.

Thirty-two and physically fighting “I love you” like it was Saren. It was ridiculous.

But it was too soon.

Way too soon!

He washed his face. The Asari sang their science through the water flow.

Why couldn’t he wipe that smile off his face?

*                       *                       *                       *                       *                       *

He should have said it.

Now the words died on his tongue. They’d followed Shepard into the grave. Only the words; their meaning was still alive, more present than Kaidan ever felt these days.

His mother was downstairs, yelling up through the closed door for him to get dressed. They were forcing him out of the house. Said it would be good for him.

Kaidan reached out his arm. It was an attempt to move, but it turned into a wish: Please, just let him feel Shepard’s hand close around his.

Please.

But Shepard never touched him.

Kaidan had to summon the memory. Shepard had a gentle, firm grip. Shepard’s fingers would dance and move between his like shifting liquid.

Had.

Nothing covered his fingers now, just air.

Wouldn’t.

“I love you, Shepard,” he muttered into the dark.

Their last touch wasn’t even skin, just a bump of their helmets.

He had every chance to say it. Kaidan cut the words off whenever they started to slip out.

I love you, Shepard. His chest screamed with it as it wrent in two, then scattered into tiny pieces; floating parts of self that dissolved and sat back over his lungs like poison.

Kaidan was so sick of crying that his tears came out aching.

He should have said it every day, every moment.

Every thought of Shepard should have tumbled out with “I love you”.

Now Shepard wouldn’t know. Not in this life. Kaidan could shout it to the heavens for Shepard’s ghost to hear, but Shepard’s body would never ring with the sound.

He’d sell his soul just to feel Shepard’s arms around him for a second.

Kaidan should have said it. Over and over until Shepard was annoyed with him.

“I love you, Shepard.”

He really should have fucking said it.

*                       *                       *                       *                       *                       *

He said it.

Shepard was standing there, and he said it.

It happened. Shepard was in front of him, and the words tumbled out like an accusation.

CERBERUS?!

Really?

But Shepard was… Shepard was alive!

And he said it! And Shepard… Shepard didn’t say it back.

That doesn’t—Shouldn’t matter!

Cerberus?!

Kaidan finally said it. And then he walked away.

Past tense, but he said it. Shepard knew now.

He wasn’t even thinking, it just burst out, and now Shepard knew.

It was all he’d wished for the past two years, to say it to Shepard’s face, and now he’d probably never see them again. He made a decision.

He made a decision.

He made a decision. But…

*                       *                       *                       *                       *                       *

Kaidan was back on the Normandy, back in Shepard’s arms.

“I love you, Shepard.”

“I know.”

It was a different ship with a different cabin, but it was them in their old sanctuary, and it greeted them like the moon greets the night.

He kissed Shepard on the side of their forehead. There was the familiar soft warmth, and the fire, and the stars.

“I love you,” he said between kisses.

Shepard laughed, “I love you too—That tickles!”

Kaidan held Shepard tighter, “Do you want me to stop?”

Shepard smiled that smile, “Never.”

“Then I never will.”

“Good.”

Kaidan kissed Shepard all over, repeating the words, meaning them every time. Meaning them in a new way with every second, every utterance.

The sound of his heart filled the room for Shepard to hear, body and soul. It was everything he wanted. Everything he wished for.

And Shepard said it back.

[bonesandthebees]

I’m looking at the QSMP one shot like… Bad what are you doing to those kids? Is it even Bad or is he trying to protect them too? And the poor babies got basically kidnapped. I do love the family vibes though. Like all these kids are going through the same shit, but they are going through it together.

Also, the Tntduo has been freed! They get to be (at least a little more) gay! Dorks the both of them! But yeah 1!tntduo are just very gay for each other and actively being shipped by Tallulah.

Anyway, it’s a nice story. DRAGONS! Also, since there are only so many eggs ale dragons that means people have to share right? Is there any in world reasons why certain dragons are only shared between certain people. Does it have to do with the area they are from and the magic on their blood or is it just based one the dragons size or maybe even the bond. Like Tallulah is small so it makes sense she has only Wilbur while a bigger dragon could carry more people (like Pomme or Richas). But then Tilin is bigger and still only has Quackity.

-🌲

Bad is doing his best to help the others out, but he’s very limited to what he can do under the eye of the Council :( the reason he’s their mentor for dragon riding is because he’s a several centuries old immortal who’s had his dragon, Dapper, for a very long time and was kind of the only guy around who knew about dragons, so when Fedelwyn got their hands on a bunch of dormant dragon eggs there was pretty much one guy who knew how to ‘revive’ them and what to do with the dragons once they hatched, and that was Bad

But yes the family vibes!! The kids have all grown up together for the past 5-6 years so they’re basically the only family they each have at this point.

Yes. Finally. Tntduo has been freed they are just dorky teenage boys with crushes in this

The way dragons work in this is that there are only a very limited number of humans who have magic in their blood, and this magic is necessary to ride dragons. But even further than that, a humans magic has to resonate with a dragon’s in order to ride them, and usually resonances are so specific a dragon will only match up with one human ever (kind of like a soulmate/soul match type thing). So a human can have magic but not match up with a dragon at all and won’t be able to ride.

It’s uncommon but not unheard of for 2 humans to resonate with a single dragon, which is the case with Etoiles and Baghera. Aypierre and Antoine help take care of Pomme, but neither of them can ride her because Aypierre doesn’t have magic and Antoine doesn’t resonate with her. The Brazilians however are the only known case of 5 people resonating with a single dragon (Cellbit, Forever, Bagi, and Tazercraft) (Felps doesn’t have magic he’s just Cellbit’s bestie who Cellbit refused to leave without).

Bigger dragons can theoretically have multiple people riding them, but it makes any kind of intense aerial maneuvering more difficult so it’s not ideal for battles or races. Usually Bad limits it so only two people at most can ride Richas at one time, but in the flashback we saw they were doing long distance flying which is less about aerial maneuvers and more just about stamina training—for the riders, not the dragons. So Bad decided three of them (Forever, Cellbit, and Bagi) could ride Richas that day. Mike and Pac will have to do long distance training another day though.

So glad you enjoyed!

[racingtoaredlight]

This is Incredible

This morning in the comments, Biff made a totally normal comment about Prince that shot me into an early Mozart wormhole.

Here’s my thing...it’s not that there isn’t great music still being made today, or that today’s musicians are somehow inferior, or that technology has made us weaker than our ancestors...it’s this.

We have never before in human history...this is not hyperbole...had the sheer amount of access to music that we do today.  I don’t want to say “it was easy to forget Mozart when you couldn’t just throw on a record or CD or put on Spotify”...but that’s exactly the case.  When there’s the sheer volume of musical information getting shot in our faces every day, the extremes tend to get compressed.  Shit music gets washed away, but so does some of the great shit that “has been around forever.”

Biff’s comment was in regards to Prince being a musician akin to Mozart...which you don’t have to be a musical academic to understand is ridiculous.  And that’s not a slam on Prince in the slightest, rather an acknowledgement that this guy who revolutionized music centuries ago was that fucking good.  Not just good, but that good out of the womb.

The entire video is great, but there’s one section I want to highlight...it’s 15 seconds of listening time, start at 1:30.  Mozart was seven years old when he composed this.  Seven.  Seven years old.  I had a rattail when i was seven years old.

Pay attention to what he’s doing with the left hand here...those little trills (ornamentation) are so fast, savage and precise that it displays a complete mastery of not just technical skills, but having such control over what the overlying harmony is doing that he attacks with precision knife strikes like a prison hitman.  That’s something that became a hallmark of Mozart’s style...he didn’t just know these pieces inside and out, he had complete, dominant control over them.

Again, he was seven when he wrote this.

Lets look at another all-time great after the jump...

***

It’s the same thing here, only on steroids (because Chopin was part of the generation that followed Mozart and Beethoven and had more of a path laid out).

The shit he’s doing at 11, at 15...it’s mindblowing.  We know he was playing this stuff because you couldn’t compose without playing, and since then, we’ve seen an overwhelming amount of evidence that there are other kids at ages like this with skills out of this world.

But again, it’s not the technical skills that are what’s so mindblowing...it’s the harmony and theory, the voice leading and the incredibly advanced melodic ideas.  It’s being able to own what the music is doing, and manipulate the music around those important theoretical points.  And while I said lets ignore the technical skills...he’s playing and writing shit that’s still modern in 2023...back in the mid 1800′s.  In his teenage years.  He was fully fledged before puberty.

That’s not to say Prince wasn’t prodigious...he absolutely was.  Or even Stevie Wonder.

But to do things at a world-changing level when you’re still in your teenaged years is something we’ve seen quite a bit throughout history.  Not only have we seen it a bunch, we’ve seen it at such preposterous levels enough that it’s become routine.  Forgotten to an extent.

***

Now go to 1:15 and ask yourself why, exactly, these dorks are in the same conversations as the ones above?

[somethhing-someethinng]

I posted 2,573 times in 2022

That's 1,126 more posts than 2021!

27 posts created (1%)

2,546 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@firefly464

@random-meme-bot

@three-bunnies-in-a-trenchcoat

@izzymrdb

@thefirstpaleontologist

I tagged 441 of my posts in 2022

#jjk - 44 posts

#naruto - 35 posts

#the grishaverse - 35 posts

#desi - 30 posts

#dc - 27 posts

#dream smp - 26 posts

#fma(b) - 23 posts

#mcyt - 21 posts

#mlb - 17 posts

#this - 15 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#they were rivals bc of several factors: naruto not knowing how to be sasuke’s friend and being jealous of him which caused him to childishly

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Naruto AU where Uchiha Sasuke is not The Cool DudeTM  who swears a lot, but the biggest nerd you have ever seen.

The dork grew up in a giant extended family who were very traditional and probably got scolded for saying darn.

Idiot (affectionate) was later on hell bent on getting revenge. So I need you tell me he sometimes didn't stay awake at when his poshy rich kid persona resurfaced out of the trauma and he had a little whatamidoingwhydididothatwhatwouldeveryonethinkofme- moment.

Heck, the only reason he was seen as the cool kid in school, was cuz it was school. we all cringe looking back at it.

I'm just saying, Sasuke probably spent all his time in Konoha either talking like an old man or a rich kid with a poshy ascent.

31 notes - Posted June 19, 2022

#4

We don’t talk about this scene enough

Aleksander, approaching Alina with her guards having just received the news of the stag and seen the tracker, already planning to celebrate taking over the other nations using the fold and testing one final time to see if the tracker is who he claims he is and if he is any threat to his other plans with Alina: *Offers flowers* For you.

Kaz and Inej, disguised as Alina’s guards, having just gotten rid of Arken who was going to betray them, having nearly died many times, knowing dang well that Jesper is sleeping with the stable boy as he was suppossed to be their get-away driver and were just about to kidnap Alina: *Side-eyes with an ‘Is This Guy Serious’ look*

Alina, blissfully ignorant of all the attempts to kill and/or kidnap her that are currently taking place, that one of her friends have been murdered, her childhood friend that she thought had given up on her is on the palace after nearly dying so many times just to talk to her, all the people around her want to use her but for different reasons and the the fact that her entire life is going to get thrown into a roller coaster in a few hours: *Taking the flowers* Thank you.

47 notes - Posted February 18, 2022

#3

yall, sometimes i forget how much funny the darkling can be. like we don’t give him enough credit for it.

like i know he is the big bad guy who did a lot of horrible stuff but every time he makes an appearance i get all giddy to see what dramatic shit this bastard is going to do now.

like that one scene in Siege And Storm: where he personally took Alina to her cabin and through the prison and one time she tripped and he “put his hand on the small of her back to steady her and didn’t let go”. for what? just to make Mal jealous? “You’ll know when I make her scream.” (sir????????????)

and then Rule Of Wolves comes out and i actually got to read his POV and ooooh boy, i was not dissapointed.

Aleksander, watching his army of fateful Starless gather and prepare to follow his orders and march to the northern front of the war: Never in my centuries long life have i ever regretted being sober more than I do now at this moment.

and in the final fight with the fjerdans where he arrives with his cult to get favor and popularity for Zoya and in Nikolai’s POV he was like,

Aleksander: ;)

Nikolai: Did that bastard just fvking WINK-

like, hes funny man

58 notes - Posted February 5, 2022

#2

Sakura, abt Sasuke: How do you think we can trust him?! May I remind you thet he tried to kill us before!

Sai: He did try to kill me.

Naruto: He also tried to kill me on several occasions.

Naruto: There was this one time when we were genin and her turned himself into a frog 'cuz he knew I love frogs. And I was like "Ooo a frog!". And I picked it up to admire it.

Naruto: Then he turned back into himself and was like "Blearg! It's me!" and then he stabbed me.

Everyone:

Naruto: We were twelve at that time.

75 notes - Posted June 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Her love language is violence, and I am a masochist.

- BR!Wilbur to Techno abt Sally

106 notes - Posted March 8, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[sopeverse]

EXPECTING (THE UNEXPECTED) WITH BTS

genre: fluff and pregnancy!au

warnings: pregnancy, mentions of insecurity, bangtan being soft over the thought of starting a family with you so proceed into this disgustingly fluffy trap with caution !

note: okay so me promising to finally post my long awaited yoonkook fic was a fucking lie - so please have my unnecessarily cute indulgence into dad!bangtan. also, this is over 7k words so please with the utmost respect shoot me :)

KIM SEOKJIN

this dork didn’t even notice you were pregnant until three months in

he’d be so oblivious the whole time, not once catching onto the small bump you were slowly but surely forming

he’d just stare at you in disbelief whenever your cravings got the better of you, putting foods together that he deemed D I A B O L I C A L

he’d let you know that

cause as we all know, he’s the king™ of food

he’ll encourage your increasing eating habits though, loving the look of content and your stuffed cheeks that he makes a point to pinch every chance he gets

turns out you were having excessive cravings cause of the MASSIVE child you were currently carrying in your stomach

istg when you finally tell him you’re pregnant the first thing out of his mouth is,

“that explains why you were eating peanut butter and cucumber together!”

and he just has this look on his that says, ‘i’ve finally cracked the code’

and you have to resist the urge to slap him upside the head cause tHAT REALLY WASN’T THE POINT HERE

okay but #1 supportive boyfriend right here

he’ll volunteer to rub lotions on your stomach every night before bed

mostly because they seem to relax you but also because he likes how soft they make his hands

also the type to talk to your baby when you finally fall asleep 🥺

he’ll have his cheeks pressed softly against your bump, gushing over how excited he is to finally be a dad and how much he’s gonna spoil and care for them

and you couldn’t help the small smile tugging at your lips once you heard his gentle coos cause you really struck lucky with this soft muddle of mush you call a boyfriend

he’s so ott too

like five months until the due date and he’ll already have the spare room done up into the cutest little nursery

and you have to pester him to stop buying pink baby clothes and toys cause he has just simply ruled out the possibility of it being a boy

just hits you with, “c’mon babe, it’s the 21st century, boys can wear pink too.”

and after taking in his pink silk pyjamas and bunny slippers you realise you don’t have the energy to argue with this man

SPOILS YOU TO THE MAX

you think he indulged you in your cravings before? he’s 100x worse now that he know you’re eating for two

it could be two in the morning and he wouldn’t care, slipping on the first pair of shoes he could find and rushing to the nearest store whenever you show the slightest signs of being peckish

also buys the entire store

and stays up ‘helping’ you eat the treats cause he knows how bad you start to feel after giving into your cravings

leaves small post-it notes around you apartment when he’d gone to the studio, reminding you to eat and not stress yourself out

he hates leaving you alone on those days, the thought of something happening to you or the baby is enough to make him feel insanely guilty

trust he’s tried to convince his managers to grant him maternity leave too they weren’t having it

and he’d be (◞‸◟) everyday in practice until the baby is born

he’s so incredibly loving and doting towards you

showers your body in a million and one kisses whenever you feel the slightest bit insecure

and reminds you of how much of an angel you are between every gentle press of his lips

you’ve always been beautiful to him, but seeing your bump grow bigger with each passing day just makes him fall deeper and harder in love with you

which no one thought was humanly possible cauSE THIS MAN WORSHIPS THE GROUND YOU WALK UPON OKAY

just the thought of finally starting a family with you is so surreal and he’ll be in a state of bliss the whole nine months

freaks out when your water finally breaks

he’ll be a mess, phone balancing on his shoulder as he screams at namjoon to tell the boys as he grabs your overnight bags, tripping over every possible obstacle in his path while trying to clm you amidst the chaos

and you’re just 눈_눈 cause you really forgot how dramatic this man is

seems like he’s bringing that trait into fatherhood to hshdjd

you swear he breaks about ten different traffic laws trying to get to the hospital

only calms down once the nurses take over and rush you to the nearest private room

lets you hold his hand in a crushing grip, soothing words being whispered against the side of your head as he encourages you to push harder

he almost wants to beat himself up seeing you in so much pain, but once he hears a shrill cry and your hand relax in his hold he swears his eyes turn into hearts

he’ll try to hide the small tears gathered in his eyes once the nurses take the small child away to clean, pressing kiss after kiss against your lips and reminding you how well you did as you sleepily lean further into his affectionate touches

he’s just so proud of you and won’t shut up about it for hours

and he doesn’t have time to gloat that it’s a girl, cause he knows regardless he’d be in love

there’s no tearing him away, trust me

he feels so complete in that moment, watching the boys and his family coo over the babbling baby as you snuggle closer to him on the small hospital bed

he’s convinced nothing can diminish his happiness

not even taehyung and jungkook trying to teach your daughter curse words five seconds after she’s left your womb

MIN YOONGI

another oblivious cutie in our ranks

he’s so quick to pick up any quirk or change which is why you find it so amusing that he didn’t seem to notice you were pregnant despite the obvious bump you made no effort to hide

he’s always so wrapped up in his work that he literally won’t catch on unless you were to snatch his headphones off and scream it in his ear

which is exactly what you do

the human personification of (°-°) when you show him the pregnancy test

for a good five minutes you’ll think he’s broken and have half a mind to call bighit to repair him but once that gummy smile takes over his face all your worries wash away

HE’S SUCH AN EXCITED BOY PLEASE HUG HIM TO CLAM HIM DOWN

he won’t even try to hide it either, calling everyone in his contacts cause he’s gonna be a dad!!

then cringes once he gets to hoseok as the younger screams about finally being an uncle :’)

you secretly find it cute that they’ve all turned into giddy kids at the thought of a baby in the gang

he’s so insanely attentive towards you

like this man will shower you in love and there’s nothing you can do about it

makes sure to buy you all your favourite treats and plushies for when he’s gone to work for long periods of time

and sends you a message to ‘look after yourself or else i’ll come over there and kick your ass’

threatening but caring 🥰

he always feels so selfish about being stuck at the studio and practice all the time so please comfort him this smol boy

he won’t admit it but he genuinely thinks he’s not gonna be a good dad for the longest time so you better remind him that he will be the B E S T

he’ll eventually start to bring his work home with him and spend more time with you cause if something were to happen to his two favourite people he’ll r i o t

whenever he does show up to practice he’ll be worrying over you constantly if he’s not spamming your phone asking if you’ve eaten and got enough rest then he’s complaining to the boys about how much he misses you

to the point where they’ll literally just force him to leave so that he can finally shUT UP

they’re all secretly super excited though and can’t wait to be uncles

but hoseok has already made it clear that he’ll fight all of them and you if he doesn’t get to be godfather

bath time together has become a tradition in your household

he got sick of your whining and pouting about standing up for too long in the shower and being unable to reach places cause of your growing bump

so this man will spend a full half hour running the most *chefs kiss* bath for you with all your favourite scents and soaps

and lets you rest against his chest as his fingers gently massage your scalp, occasionally placing small kisses against the expanse of your shoulder while muttering sweet words against the heated skin

marry him or i will >:(

THIS MAN WILL SPEAK TO YOUR BUMP AND NOT GIVE A FUCK

he’ll force you to lay against the bed with your tank top raised above your exposed stomach, watching lovingly and playing with his disheveled hair as he softly grumbles against you

he’ll be so love-struck and won’t stop gushing over hoe excited he is to finally meet them you literally have to resist the urge to get your phone out and video the cute interaction

then lowkey threatens it and says if it hurts you he’s gonna fight

with love of course <333

despite being insecure about his future parenting skills he swears to himself and you that he’ll never let his kid feel like he doesn’t support them

he knows what it feels like to lack support from your father so he ensures that he’ll lay the affection on extra thick

i’m not saying he’s gonna be the best dad in the world but that’s exactly what i’m saying

HE’S SO NERVOUS WHEN YOU GO INTO LABOUR HELP HIM

he won’t even have time to register what was happening before he has you, himself and everything you could possible need packed into the car before your water even broke

he’ll be so calm and reassuring on the outside but you could see from the nervous lip biting and the skin of his knuckles turning white from tension as he gripped the steering wheel that he was far form it

he’s so relived once he finally gets you to the hospital and the nurses take over, giving him time to finally breath before calling the rest of the boys

he’s stressing out the whole time - insisting on staying in the waiting room cause he couldn’t bear the sight of you in pain

but once the nurse calls him in for the final push he’s by your side in an instant

his words will get stuck in his throat as you groan for the final time, not once minding the crushing pain of your hand squeeing his own before going slack

he swore time started to slow as the doctor presented your daughter before cleaning her and wrapping her up in a blanket

he’s so careful and hesitant as he takes hold of her, a look of awe in his eyes as the baby squirmed against him

literally the only thing going through his mind is, ‘fuck, i’m actually a dad’

and istg man sheds a tear cause he finally started the family he so desperately wanted with you

swear he passed his :] trait down to her as she babbles up at you both

you both never felt so content, the months of pain and stress coming o an end as you lay your head on his chest - watching as your daughter softly played with his fingers

before hoseoks loud voice broke through the room,

“so i’m still the godfather right?”

JUNG HOSEOK

king of the dumbfounded club

despite all the signs being there you’ll literally have to spell it out for him before he even notices

this man will go about his day as if you weren’t carrying his unnecessarily huge child inside of you

hoseok always expressed to you that he dreamed of starting a family with you one day, but with the surge in popularity with the band and your relationship still being kept from public view you were worried he’d be less than pleased with the timing

trying to keep it a secret proved easy considering your boyfriend had his head in the clouds 99.9% of the time

but it was yoongi who told you to finally man up and tell him before threatening to do it himself

which left you wondering as to how the fUCK HE KNEW? YOU DIDN’T TELL ANYONE?!

he just knows everyones darkest secrets

this boys is so :D when you finally tell him

as soon as the words leave your lips he has you in the tightest embrace known to man and smothers your face in kisses, gushing over how excited he is without letting you go for once second

everyone in a ten mile radius knows you’re pregnant within an hour

and he may have accidentally posted your baby scans to the bts official. instagram oops

sets it as his lockscreen

also has them in his wallet for safe keeping

but also because he just turns to mush every time he looks at the lil bub and thinks about how excited he is

will cling to you 24/7

whenever you’re cooking or preparing a meal in the kitchen he’ll be behind you in a minute, tracing gentle circles on your hips and leaving soft presses of his lips against the side of your hide as you go about your business

will happily brush his teeth while you’re using the toilet

he’ll just use any excuse to be near you

to the point where you’ll have to say,

“hoseok sweetheart, i love you so much but leave me the fuck a l o n e.”

he’s an angel so he won’t take any of your snaps or sarcastic quips seriously, already knowing how much of a toll pregnancy has been having on your mood

so he won’t hesitate to spoil you constantly

whenever you’re sad he’s sad, that’s the vibe in your relationship

he knows you better than anyone else so when he sees that you need your space and be alone for awhile he’s straight out the door and on his way to the dorms

not before showering you in all the kisses and gathering you all the treats and sweets his arms can carry beforehand though

if you even D A R E try to life a finger this man will have a tantrum

he just hates the thought of you straining yourself too hard and hurting yourself or the baby so he’ll offer to do the chores around the house with no hesitation

then collapsing on the bed later that night and snuggles into your side while complaining about how tired he is

and you hate to admit it but you’re lowkey happy cause now he can’t take what you do around the house for granted ✨

you’ll still give him forehead kisses though cause the pout sitting on his lips after he finishes his chores is just too cute to resist

he goes into full a hysteria whenever you accidentally bump into something

he’s on his knees and muttering apologies to your bump before you can even comprehend what is happening

“mummy’s just a dumbass baby, sorry.”

and grrrr you wish you could hit him but he is just too precious

if you thought this man was already soft at the thought of finally starting a family with you just wait until nightfall

his sleepiness gets the better of him and he just turns into a mush of love, facing you on the bed and hand gently caressing your bump

he always gives you a gentle goodnight kiss before going to sleep and has gotten into the routine of giving your bump one too

everyone under the sun could tell he was already in love with this child

also locks himself in the bathroom to secretly phone his mum or sister to give him advice when you get especially pissy

and they literally just sigh and say, ‘women’

he still hasn’t figured out what to do with that information

the type to have a ‘#1 dad’ bumper sticker on the back of his car

even though it’s no where near the due date yet

he’s just too excited 🥺

goes into full panic mode when you finally go into labour

you’ll have to be the one to calm H I M down

he’s screaming into the groupchat before your water has even fully broke

he just really wants everyone to be there when the baby’s born and has already made it clear that he’s gonna end their friendship if they don’t show up in time

you still aren’t sure if he’s joking or not

he’s so helpful during your contractions and will do all the breathing exercises that he got from the baby books with you

will also assign a job to each of the boys

yoongi had to be your on call assistant which he wasn’t to happy about

he’ll act annoyed about the whole thing but his heart warms at the thought of you two dumbasses finally having a baby

when the nurses say it’s time to finally get this sucker out of you hoseok will be by your side in an instant

will mutter encouraging words against the side of your head and not once take his gaze off you

he’s so patient and calm too, seeing how strong you where during the whole thing despite the small tears glossing over your eyes made him so proud

once the baby is born you swear his eyes fucking SPARKLE

and when the nurse has finally cleaned the small boy off and handed him over that man has scooped him up and burst out the door to the others

he’ll have no problem presenting that child like rafiki from the lion king

but after all the excitement is over and he ushers everyone home he turns into that ball of love again, laying beside you on the cramped bed and wrapping you up in his arms - worshiping your face in gentle pecks as you tiredly lean against him - smiling against his lips, the small baby happily asleep in your arms

he swears he’s never felt so complete until that moment

KIM NAMJOON

istg he knows before you do

he won’t even give you the slightest inkling that he knows

he’ll only start dropping hints around three months in - starting to be more careful around you and constantly reminding you to not stress yourself out

his gentle caresses and sweet words were never a rarity throughout your relationship but you noticed his hands softly lingering against your stomach, tracing the flesh despite your bump hardly showing yet

he knew you were holding off telling him in fear the news would interfere with his career so once you finally gathered the courage he’d be all set

you knew he’s be an amazing dad regardless so gathering your confidence you’d walk into the living to announce the news only to close your mouth at the sight presented in front of you

MAN IS BABY PROOFING THE FUCKING FURNITURE

and you’re just the epitome of (´･_･`) cause this mAN KNEW YOU WERE PREGNANT FOR THREE MONTHS AND DIDN’T HAVE THE COMMON DECENCY TO LET YOU KNOW?

you wanna kick him for being such a tease with you but just the sight of him soften the edges of all the sharp corners in the house made you so soft cause you’ve never seen someone so excited and ready for something in your life

king of showering you in love

whenever you get down about your appearance and start complaining about the extra flesh around your thighs of the stretch marks decorating your skin he is by your side and worshiping your body before you can even finish your thoughts

he thinks you look so sexy and beautiful carrying his child and sometimes finds it hard to keep his hands away from you

seeing your stomach grow bigger with each passing day triggers something primal inside of him and he becomes much more protective over you

he instantly knows when insecurity washes over you and watches sourly as you stand in front of the mirror for hours on end - loathing every part of your body

he’ll sneak up behind you and admire you through your reflection, forcing your eyes to follow the light tracing of his hands as they ghost over your skin

muttering softly about how angelic and ethereal you look while pregnant

he literally won’t let you leave the mirror until his words are implanted in your mind, cause the mere thought of you thinking you weren’t worth it or pretty enough just because the months of pregnancy has taken a toll on your body makes his heart hurt

he genuinely thinks you’re so prefect and will be sure to remind you every possible chance he gets

just marry him already please 😓

HE LOOKS LIKE A DAD BEFORE HE EVEN ACTUALLY IS ONE PLEASE

swears he’s the cool dad but you know deep down he’s the dorky, embarrassing one that trips in front of his child's friends and tells them awkward stories to make them uncomfortable

also the hot dad but we been knew

and he can’t help but laugh when you threaten to beat up any of your child's friends in future if they so much as look at him

also the type to cook you dinner every night just to take the stress off

when the baby kicked for the first time he freaked out

genuinely thought he did something wrong to make them react like that would get so in his head about being a dad

and you have to shut up his rambling worries with a deep kiss cause god you love this man but he overthinks every possible thing

another sweetheart that feels so guilty about working all the time

his mind doesn’t rest for one second when he’s at practice, tripping over his steps and stumbling more than usual cause he just can’t stop stressing out about you and the baby

sends you cute little messages of encouragement throughout the day

you’re always knocked out on the sofa by the time he gets home and he swears the guilt eats him alive

he’ll scoop you up and tuck you away into bed - using the opportunity to softly caress and talk to your bump

he doesn’t even know if the baby can hear his overexcited words or not but he likes to think it does

kissing your head gently and whispers a soft ‘i love you’ against your skin before doing the same to your stomach

he gets a call one day while he’s at the studio that you’ve went into labour and this man goes into full windows shutdown mode

speeds through that building and into his car like lightening cause he’d rather die than miss any second of the birth

once he gets to the hospital he practically forces the nurse to escort him to your room and his panicked exterior and wide eyes is enough for her to comply without question

once he gets through that door and sees your worried expression and glassy eyes - worried he wouldn’t get there on time - relax, he feels so ashamed

covers your face in a million and one kisses as an apology and is immediately in dad mode

he literally turns into your support pillar and will let you squeeze his hand when the pain becomes too much, not once minding the crushing pain you inflicted on his fingers

encouraging words and soft kisses galore

you’ve never seen a grown man want to cry so much once that baby is born

like you’ll have to comfort him once the nurse passes you the tiny bundle of joy, already knocked out in your arms and looking like the perfect little mix of you and joon

the next few hours will just go by in a blur for the both of you - both your families and the boys wanting to coo over the little girl

but once everything is over and the room is settled with just your small family, he can’t help but admire you lovingly cradling the baby, tutting lowly as you tried to breastfeed her

and he’s just so completely 🥺 cause those nine months of constant stress and worrying were 100% worth it

PARK JIMIN

he caught on the moment he noticed your morning sickness

he’ll just stand in the doorway of the bathroom like a lost child, wanting to help but not knowing how so he’s just so 🥺 watching you throw your guts up

let’s you sit on his lap and cleans you up afterwards, soothing stroking your hair as you bury your head into his neck - neither of you caring about the coldness of the tiles beneath you

he’ll let you cry against him for the rest of the night

and won’t regret it when he’s yawning his way through rehearsal the next day with namjoon nagging his ear off  

under all his concerns and worries this man is so fucking E C S T A T I C

you both had been planning to have a baby eventually so the fact that it was actually happening (albeit unexpectedly) sends him to cloud nine

he wouldn’t feel the need to have a big announcement or reveal either - both of you wanting to keep it your little secret until the time was right

and apparently the right time was him accidentally posting the baby scans to twitter while trying to send them to his mum

twitter crashed that day

when he sees how worried you become about the effect the pregnancy will have on his career and such, he swore his heart broke

he wouldn’t waste a second before snuggling you against his chest, kissing your worries away and reminding you that neither you or the baby could ever be a burden to him

and after he’s done wiping your tears away and comforting you, he’ll literally just get up and say

“okay, let’s go get the crybaby some mcdonalds.”

and you don’t even have the energy to argue with him cause f o o d

istg he has baby names picked out before you even know the gender

he’s in a constant state of bliss every time he sees your bump become bigger

he’s so in awe of it

like the fact that your future child is just lazying away in your stomach, being all beautiful and the perfect mix of you both  

blows his mind everytime

everytime you both go out shopping with each other he’ll mange to sneak every baby related thing into your basket without you noticing

and just :) innocently once you get to the checkout and your bill racks up with bibs, bottles and tiny shoes

he fully knows that they’ll grow out of them in 0.2 seconds A N D the fact that they don’t need them at all cause what newborn is flexing their designer drip

he just can’t help himself sometimes

please stop this man cause he goes wild and ends up buying more clothes for the baby and they’re not even born yet

he won’t get a proper night sleep if he doesn’t wish your bump goodnight and press a soft kiss against it, before paying your lips the same treatment

and you think it’s the most precious sight

he loves going to baby scans with you

he’ll cancel whatever plans wedged into his schedule that day just to go with you

and if he finds out you went on your own he’ll try and divorce you

even though you’re not married

you’ve never seen a man so at loss with words until he sees the outline of your baby appear on the small monitor

and he’ll just touch the screen and be like

“that’s really my baby?”

and you have to stop yourself from joking, ‘actually no it’s jungkooks’

cause you already know he’ll give you the silent treatment for about week for saying that

everytime you talk to this man his mind will always wander back to the pregnancy

like you could ring him up just to see what he wants for dinner later and he’ll bombarded you with a million and one questions on how the baby was doing

his main concern is missing the first kick

and when it finally does happen, you just silently take his hand and place it on your swollen stomach, feeling the small jolts of the baby

and he’s so 😔 cause the baby is saying hello!!

he’s the most supportive and calm of them all when your water breaks

he’ll have you in the hospital before your mind can even wrap round the situation, reassuring you the entire drive there

but he won’t hesitate to THREATEN every last doctor there if they dare hurt you or make you uncomfortable in any way

cue to the entire building just sweatdropping™️ cause this smol man can be scary when he wants to be

won’t leave your side no matter how long your labour takes

constantly tells you to take deep breaths and will lets you squeeze onto his hand, thumb rubbing over the flesh of your palm to help soothe the pain

despite never shutting tf up during your pregnancy he’s at a loss for words once he actually lays eyes on his new baby girl

everything around him will disappear for a second and all he can focus on is the sight of you cooing down gently at the small child, letting her take hold of your finger

and he can’t help but admire your beauty in that moment, the glow of afterbirth completely taking over your spent figure

he swears it’s the most beautiful sight ever

and can’t resist the urge to take out his phone to snap a quick picture

capturing the moment forever

only for you to throw the baby bottle at him for being such a dumbass and not turning his phone on silent, effectively startling the newborn

he’s new at this parenting stuff, cut him some slack :’)

KIM TAEHYUNG  

another member of the confused squad™️

he doesn’t have the slightest clue about what’s happening around him most of the time and that certainly doesn’t change when you unexpectedly become pregnant

so please help this poor boy out

even when your bump started to become more noticeable and you’ve grown out of some of your jeans, he’ll still be so helpless and lost 😔

you’ve never seen someone so happy when you finally let it slip

that boxy smile you adore so much just tugs at his lips and he doesn’t even give you a chance to get the words fully out before he’s picking you up and bringing you into the most bone crushing hugs ever, twirling you around the spacious apartment in joy

he’s such an excited pup and you swear nothing can wipe that adoring grin off his face

he’s so soft for the reminder off the day, finding it hard to believe that you’re actually carrying your soon-to-be child in your stomach

his hands constantly brush against your belly, sweating every two seconds he can feel the baby kick even though it doesn’t even have legs yet to do that

he’s just can’t contain his excitement, leave him alone :’)

he talks to the baby before you get ready for bed, helping you apply your lotions to the swollen bump while gushing over how much he can’t wait to spoil them

and you just run your fingers through his soft locks, smiling gently down at the overjoyed pile of mush you call a boyfriend  

everyone say it with me - we don’t deserve kim taehyung

he’s also so good at making you feel better about getting too big for some of your clothes, not hesitating to tell you how pretty you look every morning despite the extra weight

he won’t let you for a second T H I N K about talking down on yourself

cause as far as he’s concerned, whether you’re 100 pounds lighter or 200 pounds heavier - you’re still the most beautiful  angel he’s ever laid eyes on

this man can’t keep a secret to save his life so he’ll let it slip you’re pregnant within the first week for sure

and when you sit down to watch the boys’ first live interview since their recent comeback, you were horrified to watch the love of your life blurt out the news while bouncing excitedly on his seat

and the rest of the boys are just starting at him in :o cause bro at leAST TEN MILLION PEOPLE JUST HEARD THAT??

he gets an earful from you later though

and from his mum

and his manager

and the fans

he sits on the sofa unmoving for an hour, a pout sat on his lips as you refused to talk to him

he’ll leave the softest of kisses against your cheek and mouth, muttering how sorry he was for being such an idiot

and you can’t help but grin against him cause he sure was stupid as shit

but he was YOUR idiot

everyone is super happy for you guys though, cause the love behind his eyes everytime he’s caught looking at you is undeniable

and what’s one more person for him to give a piece of his heart to? 🤧

after all the excitement is over and the full severity of the situation dawns on him, he gets so in his head about being a parent

he’ll start worrying about tours and long days at rehearsal, the thought of you raising  the baby alone without his help while he’s stuck at work all day is enough to make him curl into your side at night - burying his face against your neck and letting all his worries out

just soothingly stroke the back of his neck and mutter encouraging words and he’ll be okay eventually

he’s also a major dork and makes a ton of dad jokes before he’s even officially become one

yeontan is his #1 so don’t expect him to put the baby first

literally whines,

“how am i gonna fit another baby in my life when i already have tannie?”

he’s the epitome of puppy dog eyes when you go into labour

he’s so lost and doesn’t know what to do, wanting to help soothe the pains of your contractions but not knowing how

despite naivety regarding the situation he’ll also be super comforting, holding you tightly against his chest and muttering against your forehead as you take deep breaths - ignoring hoseoks’ screams towards yoongi to drive faster

once you finally get to the hospital HE’S the one ordering the doctors around

he just wants to make your labour as comfortable as possible and will literally slid the nurse a $20 note to get you a more private and bigger room

he’s so attentive and sticks by your side through the whole thing - praises and encouragement tumbling from his lips

but he just melts into a puddle of love once he finally lays eyes on your beautiful creation, softly shushing her quiet cries

nothing can take away his happiness in that moment, laying on the cramped bed with you as you cradled the baby to sleep, admiring her soft features

he’s gonna be in a state of bliss for the next few weeks, i’m warning you rn

also floods every social media platform that day with an overload of polaroids of your little family

and everyone is just so :’) cause if anyone deserves to be happy it’s this man

JEON JUNGKOOK

jungkook.exe has stopped working

as soon as he notices you’re pregnant he already knows the other boys are gonna beat him up

they all see you as a little sister and are c o n v i n c e d this man can’t look after himself despite a baby

but just the thought of starting a family with you makes him so giddy and soft, he doesn’t even have time to worry about what the others will do

he’ll pretend he doesn’t know just to troll you

he can’t help but think how adorable you look when you finally do, eyes avoiding his own and fiddling with the sleeves of your his sweater

literally all he says is,

“yeah well you weren’t very fucking subtle.”

and continues scrolling through his phone as if you hadn’t just dropped the the most life changing news on him

and you have to resist the urge to THROTTLE him alive just for being such a little shit

but he’ll make it up to you later, cuddling against you in bed and begging for your kisses - constantly whining against your heated skin that he was just joking

and you just give into his loving pecks of reassurance, smiling cutely against your face as you both bask in the newfound feeling of finally becoming parents

as inexperienced as he is when it comes to babies and pregnancy he makes up for it by being the most caring of boyfriends

HE WILL FUCKING THROW HANDS IF YOU EVER THINK OF PUTTING YOURSELF DOWN

he loves to prove you wrong cause he simply thinks you’re the most ethereal angel to ever walk into his life and still finds it hard to believe that you wanna settle down with his dumb ass

whenever you get particularly insecure about your body and hide away in your shared bedroom he’ll bust that fucking door down, not wasting a second as he’s worshiping your skin and kissing every last stretch mark and imperfection

and he knows how tough pregnancy can be emotionally so when he sees the small tears glossing over your eyes as he smothers you in his love, he’ll softly kiss them away too

whenever your bump starts to become more noticeable he’ll give you his hoodie to help hide it, knowing you weren’t comfortable sharing the pregnancy yet

he also thinks you look majorly cute being swamped in his overly large clothes

and he’ll leave small presses of his lips on your forehead, purposely avoiding your mouth just to be a tease

istg you both had the most perfect announcement planned for everyone, wanting to do it in the comfort of your home with all your loved ones gathered

and this man just goes and reveals it on vlive accidentally ಠ_ಠ

it’s safe to say you both broke the internet that night

he’s already clocked out on all the nappy changing responsibilities before the baby is even born

he’s not about to touch whatever goes on down there - no matter how much you chastise him

makes fun of the way you waddle once you start getting even bigger

to the point where he’ll imitate you and swiftly run away when you catch him cause he knows you aren’t able to catch up with him 😭

also puts things you’re looking for on the highest shelf possible just so he can watch you struggle

fucking divorce this man please cause he’s just gonna spend his time tormenting you

he didn’t have many doubts about being a parent during the pregnancy but once you finally do go into labour this man will be a complete mess

he won’t even be able to enter the hospital room - pacing the waiting area and breathing heavily into a paper bag that taehyung so graciously lent him

and everytime he even thought of stepping foot past the door he’d just shake his head and continue his worrying

before yoongi eventually got sick of his stressed pacing and pushed him into the room, holding the handle forcibly to prevent him from leaving

and you’re sitting there wondering why the f u c k your boyfriend is being forced into the birth with you and pulling on his hair when you’re the one that’s pushing a baby the size of a bowling ball out of your body

he’ll try to be as comforting as he can, hesitant words of support slipping past his lips as he tried to block out your groans of agony

you know that scene in friends when rachel is going into labour and accidentally headbutts ross and he falls to the ground and says ‘you have no idea how much this hurts’ and the whole room just stares at him cause bRO YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS CURRENTLY PUSHING YOUR MASSIVE CHILD OUT OF A TINY HOLE AND YOU’RE COMPLAINING ABOUT YOUR HEAD?! yeah that’s jungkook the entire time

everything is such a blur and rush for him, but once he hears that soft cry istg he has the biggest heart eyes you’ve ever seen on someone

starts fussing over you and presses kiss after kiss against your face, not paying any kind to the sweat that gathered

and he won’t stop confessing his love for you

he’s so insanely protective over you both as soon as the nurse hands him the newborn

just feels the immediate need to protect and love and you’ve never seen a more heartwarming sight

shushes the small babe quietly and cuddles him close to his chest, letting you tiredly lean against his shoulder as you both admire the tiny bundle of joy

despite everyone thinking you were too young to have a child, you both knew you’d have it no other way

now he just has to convince you to get matching tattoos of your baby’s initials

if you can finally settle on a name that is

© sopeverse — all rights reserved. reposting/modification of any kind is not tolerated.

[amor-immortalem]

An Alternate Path

Genre: Angst

A/N: Originally this was supposed to be a two-part mini fic but people asked about a part three. I wasn’t sure where else to exactly go from there since the end of the second part felt so final for me. But then, inspired by a comment on the 2nd part, I began to think about how it would have gone if Arella hadn’t been revived with Mammon’s blood. Think of this as the bad end to the AU. This is the final part.

obviously spoilers for the lesson 16 incident and for lesson 50 (i think… correct me if Im wrong)

Replaced part 1

The Good/True End

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He sits in his room starting at the dried blood on his hands, heart aching from the loss of his mate. It had only been mere hours since Barbatos had taken her body to prepare for funeral rites but to the Avatar of Greed, it had felt like centuries. Why? He’s asked himself this question over and over. Why didn’t you check on her sooner? Why didn’t you call or text? Why didn’t you notice? Why didn’t you feel something was wrong through your pact?

As much as he wants to, Mammon has no more tears left to cry. His human is gone, never to return and it was the fault of him and his brother. He should have been there sooner. Should have reminded her how much he cared. Should have done a lot of things. He had every opportunity to, but he squandered all of it.

He rakes his hands through his hair as they whys replay in his head. The demon doesn’t have an answer for them- none that would satisfy them, at least. He lets out a yell as grief turns to rage and nothing of value is spared from his violence. Items and trinkets knock from their shelves, furniture overturned, by time the second-born was done, his room looked like a war zone.

It’s only then that Mammon collapses to his knees and lets out a broken wail as he can hear the restless cawing of his crows outside.

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Levi is alone in his room, having shut himself away hours ago. Laying in his bathtub bed, the Avatar of Envy loses himself to his thoughts and the view of the water above him. He can’t help but think about what would have happened if he had put his foot down when Asmo approached him to recruit him in helping his little matchmaking plan for Melissa and Satan.

And then his thoughts focus in on the other human. If she had never come, if they had never welcomed her into their lives through the exchange programme... Arella would still be alive. She’d still be sitting here, playing video games and helping him decide which anime he should choose to watch when there was a conflict of time slots. They’d still be talking about their Husbandos and Waifus just as they always had. But she’s not here. She never will be anymore. All because he didn’t have the spine to act like the older brother and tell Asmo no. Because he allowed his younger brother to monopolize his time.

His best friend is gone and he was part of the problem that led up to that. Levi has never felt so much self-hatred before and, just like with Lilith, he doesn’t know how to come to terms with the loss of another person so dear to him. For now, he’ll just lay here and waste away like the filthy, yucky otaku he is, wishing there was a way he could go back and undo it all or hoping that this was all just some horrible nightmare that his brain has conjured up.

“She’ll be back in the morning... right? She’s just sleeping over at the castle, right?!”

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Beel just eats. He eats and eats and eats to make the pain go away but just like his endless hunger, the pain never stops. He feels so empty inside that the only other option is to gorge himself until he physically can’t hold it anymore and vomits before he goes back for more until the cycle repeats and he runs out of food. The loss of their favorite human is killing him now- the grief of it squeezing his heart like an anaconda.

If he would have just gone to invite her to that new café she had wanted to visit with him only an hour sooner, this could have been stopped. But he didn’t. He didn’t and that’s what cuts deepest. He should have noticed when she stopped coming to dinner, or skipping breakfast, or not joining the student council for lunch day after day. He should have realized something was wrong then. But he chose to ignore it, thinking it was just one of those ‘moods’ Arella had told him about human women experiencing at certain times of the month. He thought he was helping by giving her space these last few weeks but Beel knows now that he was dead wrong.

Who would be his food buddy now? Who would let him drag them all over town in order to try out restaurant after restaurant, café and café? Sure, he had Belphie to take with him but his younger twin never really showed the same excitement when it came to trying out all the different food and drink options on the menu. The demon doesn’t realize he’s crying until the tear drops hit his hands. She only needed one of them to take a moment to see her and none of them could be bothered do just that.

------------------------------------------------------

Belphegor only wants to sleep. He wants to sleep and never wake up again. In his dreams is where Arella is, happy, smiling, laughing. That laugh will haunt his waking moments forever as he realizes that for the second time, the Avatar of Sloth has caused her death. Belphie was only one of two brothers who rejected Asmo when they asked him to help with that damn plan of his. It had been too long since he and Arella had napped together after school or plotted something with Satan as part of the Anti-Lucifer league. How he missed those days.

He can feel the tears pool in his eyes as he curls up into a ball on the bed in the attic. He wonders if he had just stayed up here forever instead of trying to trick Arella into setting him free, would this hole in his chest disappear? As he buries his face into the body pillow Arella had gifted him for his birthday this year, he cries himself to sleep- indulges himself in all the good memories they had made together after she had forgiven him for everything he had done to her.

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Asmodeus is lost. They stare and stare at their skincare products trying to will themself to start their nightly skincare routine. How could they have been so foolish? The passage of time is so different to humans than it is to demons. They had only meant to take a month to match Satan and Melissa up so how had it turned to eleven already?! The Avatar of Lust wants to scream. Both at themself and no one at all. Hot tears still sting their eyes as they shapeshift. They change and they change and they change forms- any number of features forming and then shifting away as they try to find a look that they won’t recognize themself in but it doesn’t work. Asmo’s not able to look themself in the mirror for the rest of the night as they just crash down on their bed. They want to mark up their beautiful body into some hideous to match the feelings crushing their heart. Asmo wants to do something- anything- to themself to experience even a fraction of the pain Arella must have felt but all the demon feels now is just hollowness.

Their phone is vibrating on the bed next to them- a call from Solomon. No doubt he could feel Asmo’s distress through the pact they share but the Avatar of Lust is too tired from hours of ugly crying and most certainly not in the mood to speak to anyone- pact master or otherwise. The phone goes unanswered.

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Satan has his head buried in the books. He’s been at this for hours- there must be a way to bring her back to them! Melissa is with him, bringing whatever books he asks for in his search as she too is eager to bring the lost human back to this plane of existence. There was so much they wanted to do with her. From watching cheesy mystery dramas together to forming a small book club consisting of just the three of them, none of that would come to pass now.

As book after book turns up dead ends, the demon just buries his head in his hands. It feels pointless now. Who was he to play God with life and death? The thought of never seeing his friend alive once more is enough to break the Avatar of Wrath as his shoulders shake with violent sobs. He wants to go on a rampage- destroy the whole city but what would that fix? It certainly wouldn’t bring her back.

As the demon continues to cry, Melissa only wraps her arms around him and he returns the gesture. She runs her fingers through his blonde hair in an effort to calm him and it seems to work, if only for a little while. She pulls a chair up to sit next to him as she holds his hand in hers.

“Tell me about your favorite memories with her,” They girl begins, “We can’t undo what was done, but we can keep her memory alive by sharing the good times.”

And so, they talk late into the night, Satan smiling at all the memories of Arella that he holds close to his heart.

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“Hi this is Arella! I’m sorry I can’t get to the phone right now but leave a message after the beep.... Beeeeeeeeeep”

The sound of his brother’s laughter followed by Mammon calling Arella a dork in the background can be heard at the end of the greeting on her D.D.D.’s voicemail. The Avatar of Pride can only smile with tear-stained cheeks. He was beyond intoxicated, having just finished his fourth bottle of demonus for the night. He can feel the anguish his brothers have been going through all night and it only makes his sorrow deeper.

When Arella first arrived, all Lucifer cared about was keeping her alive long enough to make it through the year. She was unimportant to him outside of the viability of the exchange programme. Back then, he would have laughed at himself for the state he was in currently. She was just a human. Why did it matter if she lived or died if it didn’t affect the exchange programme?

But she wasn’t just a human. She was their human. She was special to him. And now she was gone. There was no second chance. There would be no merging of timelines to keep her alive. Fate was cruel, but sometimes Diavolo could be crueler.

Lucifer knew his longtime friend had a reason for this. He was teaching the brothers a lesson with her death. As much as it hurt now to lose another part of this family, things would get easier as the years went on regardless of how horribly they all would miss her. This was a lesson he and his brothers would not soon forget.

Cracking open his fifth bottle of demonus, the first-born scrolls through devilgram, saving pictures on her profile to be used in the memorial service. One of Arella with each of his brothers and himself and multiple pictures she’d taken with all eight of them from their adventures throughout the years that they’d all been together.

He lets his mind wander back over the last eleven months. All the red flags he had missed with his rose-colored glasses. They all made sense to him now. All the time she spent isolating herself from them, skipping meals, leaving either incredibly early for school or incredibly late for school. She was trying to get them to notice her over Melissa. He regrets their last interaction from a few months back. The way there had clearly been something wrong, yet he chose to lecture her about attending RAD on time as to not disgrace Diavolo. How he wishes he could take it back.

As the only brother save for Belphegor not conscripted to help Asmo in his ridiculous plan, Lucifer should have been the first to reach out to her. He may have been buried under paperwork, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t just sit and talk while he worked. He regrets not calling or checking up on her.

A video plays on her devilgram. It was from one of the nights they had spent up in the human world last summer.

“Awww, come one, Lucifer. It won’t be that bad. We’ll have those flowers from the fairy rings and make it back in one piece. I promise to keep Mammon under control so we won’t cause any trouble.”

The Avatar of Pride clicks out of the app as he feels more tears gather in his eyes. He can’t do this right now. Not tonight.

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Her service was beautiful- Or at least that’s what Lucifer tells Mammon as he and the rest of their brothers return home. Mammon wanted to go, he really did, but with it only being a few days removed from her death, the second-born couldn’t bring himself to go. It wasn’t because he didn’t love her or didn’t want to celebrate his mate’s life but it was still far too painful for him.

Part of him was still in denial over it too. Somehow, he’d managed to convince himself that she wasn’t gone. She was just stuck up in the human world and had forgotten her D.D.D here so he couldn’t call her. The logical side of him knew it wasn’t the case and every time he was reminded of it, it threw the Avatar of Greed into a deeper pit of despair. He’d spent some nights since she’d passed alone, crying himself to sleep begging for his human to come back to him others he would just lie awake, tracing over where her mark from their pact had been etched into his chest, set right over his heart.

Suddenly years have gone by now. His brothers have made peace with her passing but Mammon cannot. Visiting her grave never helps to ease the pain either, but still he goes. If Arella’s spirit still lingers, no doubt she would be upset if he didn’t go. It would only serve to prove her dying thoughts true when they couldn’t have been further from the truth.

“Hey, Treasure... Miss me?” There’s no one here but Mammon and a tombstone. “I miss you... everyday... So much changes every year... Both Asmo, Levi, ‘n Satan got kids now... little girls for them and Levi has a boy...” He pauses to take a shuddering breath as the cold wind blows. “Can ya believe it? The first kids born ta this family and their both girls and then we got a boy... sweet little things too- alla ‘em.  I wish ya coulda been there ta meet them... Actually, looking at my brothers with their kids, it makes me wonder what ours woulda been like, ya know? And I wish none of this woulda happened... you deserved so much better than me ‘n I knew that. We all knew that. But ya chose me anyway and look where it got ya... Six feet under... If I could go back and do it all over again I would. I woulda told ya what was goin’ on. I woulda spent more time with ya. I woulda... woulda proposed... made sure you knew how much I loved ya everyday... I know ya probably can’t hear me, but I’m so sorry... for everything! I love you so much that I can’t move on and I won’t. If I die single then that’s fine by me.”

As he cries, thinking he’s alone, Arella watches from her seat on her tombstone. None of the brothers knew it but she’d been watching all this time. It wasn’t until she passed that she realized how deep their feelings ran and part of her wishes she would have waited just a bit longer before leaving for the human world that night.

She tries her best to let them know she’s there- that she loves them and is watching over them with Lilith, but she’s not strong enough to do more than move small objects around. She hopes that they’d notice but they never do.

As she hops off of her tombstone, Arella crouches down next to her mate. The best she can do for him is conjure a warm breeze as her spirit leans over to press a kiss that he’ll never feel to his cheek. Upon the breeze, he can hear a soft whisper of a reply.

“I love you too.”

And it's that reply that reassures him she’s there and she always will be. He hopes maybe in another life they’ll meet again and get to have the happy ending they never got to have in this one.

------------------------------------------------------

taglist: @gayassfuckinghomosexual @joyvlee

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[sisididis]

Olá! ♥ So ~ last week I finished reading Volker Poelzl’s “Culture Shock: A Survival Guide to Customs and Etiquette in Portugal”, and you know what that means-!

It’s time for another light-hearted analysis of our beloved dork, Port, and a brief comparison between Portuguese and Romanian cultures (because, once again, I was overjoyed to discover so many similarities.) 

1. Music and the sea

I was touched to read about how enamoured the Portuguese are with their music, poetry and, above all, the sea. Many Portuguese songs and poems evoke the longing, sadness and thrill one experiences while looking out the ocean.

Poelzl writes: “Of all the folkloric music traditions, fado (‘fate’ in Portuguese) is the music that best expresses the Portuguese sentiments of nostalgia and saudade.” 

Even though fado appeared centuries after the Age of Discovery (it was introduced to Portugal in 1821 after King João VI returned from Brazil), I think it perfectly captures the mood of the people back then - the sorrow of the women who had to see their husbands, sons and brothers leave for the New World, the nostalgia over irretrievable time. It’s fascinating to read about how the Portuguese had to rely on the ocean to survive. 

Fun fact: Bacalhau (codfish) is nicknamed “fiel amigo” (faithful friend), because it was the staple of Portugal’s poor for centuries. During times of famine, the city of Lisbon regularly bought shiploads of dried codfish from the English to feed the people.

I love Lunie’s headcanon that Port dedicates poems to the ocean. It makes me wonder what he’d do if the ocean were a personification, too. Then I remember this lovely ficlet by @forgotteninkpots​, in which the ocean almost drowns Port, then apologises by caressing his feet with its waves. Port forgives the ocean because “it was only playing with him”.

A part of me also wonders whether Port ever gave offerings to the ocean (not human offerings), but promises that sound like: “If you let me reach the New World in one piece, I’ll erect a building in your honour.” Fun fact: Did you know that Manueline architecture is known for its nautical motifs?

Now, regarding comparisons...Romanians have a word that is similar to ‘saudade’ in the sense that it conveys an emotion that can’t be pinpointed and can’t be translated into another language. In Romanian we use “dor” and it refers to one’s longing and nostalgia. When we miss someone, we say “Mi-e dor de tine” (I miss you).

2. The people

I am fond of the way the author describes the virtues of the Portuguese - “they still have time (...) to watch the world go by.” Someone like me who leads a fast paced life in the capital can only dream about this. The author describes them as being humble, timid, gentle and benevolent. And my experience tells me he’s right. : )

I see Port as a generous man, who enjoys the simple things in life, who isn’t as extravagant or as extroverted as the other Mediterranean nations, but who is nonetheless proud of his people and his history.

I think he is amazed by how far humanity has come in terms of technology, but I think he’s also a bit apprehensive about it and prefers to do a lot of things in the “traditional way”. 

I also headcanon that he text messages like an old man ( e.g. using “…” unnecessarily in the middle of the sentence, thinking that means a pause in conversation or typing an entire message in lowercase or uppercase, but never in both).

In terms of his personality, I think that Port suffers from both an inflated ego and a deep-seated feeling of inadequacy due to his past and always being “dwarfed” by Spain in one way or another.

I also think he has a pretty addictive personality (but not as addictive as Toni). Once his empire reached unprecedented heights, he became shortsighted and drunk on power. It was only after life served him some humble pie that he gained enough clarity to pick himself up and start over. Due to his lingering insecurities, he’s very receptive to people’s praises. But he’s also wise enough to know when flattery comes with ulterior motives.

He also seems like the type to struggle with double standards, meaning that he’s quick to judge others for the things that he would have no qualms about doing.  

A few weeks ago, I was watching this walking tour of Lisbon and when the guide reached Gloria Furnicular, I was sad to see so much graffiti smeared on the walls and on the tram. My immediate thought was “Wow, so it’s not that different from Bucharest :( ” but also “Port would probably just shrug his shoulders and go about his day”. It’s not that I think he’s indifferent, but I don’t see him taking out his phone and calling the municipal authorities to report it. It’s that “It can’t be helped” or “What can you do about it” mindset that he has.

He’s a stoic, and he’ll overcome whatever life throws at him, but I also think he’s got a long list of complaints that he never got to voice (what good would that do, right? and who’d listen anyway?) 

I love picturing him strolling idly down the streets, hands tucked into his pockets, soaking in the sunlight and eavesdropping on people’s conversations (when he isn’t lost in his own thoughts). 

Whenever he stares off into the distance, it’s instinctively towards the sea.

And am I the only one who romanticises Portugal and Spain’s shared geography? Like the Tagus coursing from Spain to Portugal. Whenever the river floods, does Port feel Toni in his veins? 

3. Money 

A few days ago, Lunie reblogged an old translation of Himaruya’s notes and doodles and this caught my attention: 

“Speaking of the Netherlands, he was trading all over Asia through smart merchants that only traveled to various countries once they have been trained on the local etiquette, so if they were in China, they’d conduct their business negotiations in the Chinese way. The Brits left the following comment: “the Dutch mold themselves so much to their business partner countries that it’s scary!”” 

It was so interesting to compare the Dutch way of conducting business with the Portuguese way. I’m sure that the Portuguese had different methods and expectations back then, but quotes like “To do business in our country, it is indispensable to conquer the sympathy of the buyer” are really eye-openers.

4. the 3 ‘F’s and the 3 ‘T’s

I remember perusing the pages of “The Ghosts of Spain” by Giles Tremlett some months ago and while reading about Portugal’s emblematic ‘F’s, I was powerfully reminded of the 3 ‘T’s associated with Spain. (Side note: I couldn’t remember whether the third ‘T’ about Spain stood for trauma or terroristas. I guess both are pretty dark.)  

5. Portugal Versus Spain 

My jaw just dropped when I read “Em Espanha, nem bons ventos nem bons casamentos.” and “Menos mal, que nos queda Portugal.” I love reading about this sort of historical rivalry. When I saw that the author compares Portugal and Spain’s relationship with that of David and Goliath my mind just instantly went to this: 

Translation: When I see a big one bully a small one, I grow angry. 

It would be unfair to say that Portugal has the brains while Spain has the brawns. But perhaps comparing them to Tom and Jerry wouldn’t be that far fetched XD. 

[heartthumpnovel]

Heart Thump: Chapter 1

Oh god oh lordy actually posting this after a long time editing the story. I hope Ya'll enjoy the story of these dorks. Word count: 4410 CW: Swearing

INDEX:

Prologue “The Boulder and The Sea” Chapter 1 “Setting the Cliche”

Chapter 2 “A Striking Notion”

“Setting the Cliche,”

[Image Description: Point of view of the barista serving Jason who looks very anxious ordering coffee. The coffee shop is minimalistic and has a long line of customers behind Jason. ]

“Ah- sorry! I mean- oh hello! I’ll be ordering a… Ahem; green tea frappuccino, iced peppermint tea, chai tea latte and uh- oh! A double shot black Americano please. If that’s okay. I don’t want to overwhelm you guys during the rush and… ah I’m sorry I must ask for too much aren’t I?” The nine-to-five office employee, who was a tad over-dressed one might add, requested with a nervous tone in his speech.

He shot the overworked barista an appreciative grin before looking down at his leather loafers in an uneasy gaze when he held his stare for too long. The exhausted barista, regretting taking the morning shift, barked his order back to him like a coffee making robot. He blurted out a confirmation as he pulled out his wallet, made a mental note to pay this girl a deserved tip after what she’s been through already. One glance into the deep crevice of his cash compartment, however, told him another story. “Drat.”

Thankfully for the both of them, he fumbled his credit card out of that tight back sleeve after a few fumbled attempts. A prolonged sigh behind him jolted his hand to shove the card into the awaiting reader that seemed a century too old. His eyes dared to climb back to the employee’s ID badge as he asked his meager question; “Is there a way I can leave a tip on the c-”

“Cash only, sir.”

The barista interrupted as her dead gaze headed towards the line behind the squeamish business man. The guilt boiled inside him as the receipt printed. Immediately, his eyes started searching the establishment for a sign of an ATM. It must have been one lucky morning, as an ATM stood proudly next to the bathrooms. “I’ll be right back!” He yelped, charging away from the register, however in the middle of getting out of the way, his elbow met with the tip jar. Which promptly met the floor right after. 

Coins bounced everywhere, along with some bills flying out beneath him. There were snickers and sighs from the people who watched the accident unfold, which made the man’s skin crawl. He could feel eyes stab down at him in fierce judgment and disbelief. Guilt prompted him to bend down and start collecting the change from the tiled floor as the other customers minded him while ordering their drinks. Within the time frame of an order and a half, he got the full tip jar back into its rightful place with a dozen unheard apologies as they occupied the staff with their actual work. Without a response, Jason slunk back into the crowd and headed to the ATM.

Right after putting in a hefty money order, he shuffled over to the pickup area and didn’t care to dilly-dally as this man was on a tight schedule. Not that it troubled him, though, being the punctual lad that he was. It was better to have a time frame than to just ‘wing it’, and risk being an inept employee. While waiting for the order, he pulled out his phone to check the weather, cloudy and smug. That’s Seattle for you.

“Jason!” The underpaid youth shouted out the order to the onslaught of tried zombies. Pushing through the crowd of lost, decaffeinated souls came the office worker. He took the coffee tray with a quiet thank you before awkwardly shoving a twenty dollar bill into the tip jar and bolting out the door, trying to avoid as much eye contact as possible with strangers waiting in line for their daily dose of caffeine. His shoes flickered on the pavement with his legs rushing like an anxious starling. Jason nearly tripped on his own feet when he noticed the bus stop’s only bus was about to close its doors. This startled his heart in a panic as he nearly slammed his body onto the bus door as he waved frantically with one freehand as the other hand grasped the violently swishing coffee cups. “Wait! Wait!! WAIT!!! DON’T DRIVE OFF!!” Jason yelped with his hand slamming down onto the bus door as he blurted out his begging. A stare down began with the not-so-happy bus driver and the office rat. 

….

….

The door opened. A sigh of relief escaped Jason as he stepped onto the bus, which his wave of relief degraded as he felt the tons of alienating eyes stared at him down. His cheeks went red as he noticed that this definitely was a filled bus.

“Take a seat,” the bus driver remarked in a haughty disdain as he started closing the door again.

Jason uttered a thank you as he passed him and tried to ignore the stares that made him want to shrink into the bus’ floor. Seattle’s transit system should impress every other city in the world, its mere chance of being able to function during the fatal rush hour is nothing to laugh at. Everyone has somewhere to be, and it was their god given American right to be a cog in the unmoving machine of traffic. Even at the expense of everyone else. At Least it wasn’t London, Jason concluded. 

Getting on the local transit train wasn’t the most efficient way to get to work, but it is better than fighting traffic. Jason had to hold not only his bag filled with documents but also a tray with burning hot coffee and various blended teas in it. There was no room for error when he hopped aboard the bus heading towards the business plaza. The loud crowd commotion put him off. Perhaps he should have taken a car ride service instead, even if that meant he’d be trapped in a car with a talkative stranger for five minutes.

Having to face the bed he’d made for himself, Jason snuck through the rickety bus and held on to dear life to a strap as it forced him to stand in the bickering crowd. He tried to grip onto a helpful bus pole instead of a janky strap, but his hand shifted away as a tall young man had already reached for it and didn’t seem like they were going to let go soon. No problem, he’d just go back to the rubbish strap. It was better than not having any support on this jumpy ride. 

Unfortunately, when he turned around, he already noticed a visibly pregnant woman already laid claim to the strap. Jason was now a helpless dork with hot coffee in his hands. He tried his best to not rub shoulders with the other passenger's personal bubbles. Clutching the coffee close to his chest, Jason grieved he couldn’t check his phone to see what kind of news on his feed he was missing out on. He could barely turn his wrist to check the time that his palm was holding the bottom of his tray. Jason looked upwards and was entirely met with several eyes and faces he didn’t recognize. Spacing out didn’t seem like a good idea, Jason wouldn’t want to be caught creepily staring at someone. He was only a minute away from his stop, and surely the roads in the city have been properly pot-hole free until now. 

Well, that’s what one would think if he didn’t somehow trip on himself when the bus took flight with the help of an unfilled pot-hole. 

A doofus who didn’t follow bus safety falling flat on his nose on the treaded bus floor was a gag as old as time. As Jason fell face-first on the floor, he heard an angry yelp when he fell on the floor. What added insult to injury was the Americano breaking open and splashing all over his right arm. It stung. Badly. Jason really wished he ordered an iced at that moment. 

Jason didn’t have time to gather his bearings as he felt a powerful force grab him by the collar and pull him back up to his feet where he was met with a furious woman who was not only much taller than six feet, but also wasn’t a stranger to a bench press. What blood Jason had in his face drained completely as he tried to stutter out eighty apologies at once and groveled as he picked up the now empty espresso cup. He could barely hear anyone talk, the suffocating glare of the woman he’d just assaulted with coffee was enough to make him want to melt into the floor forever. Thankfully someone up there was hearing him out for once as the bus came to his stop. Jason didn’t take any time bursting through the crowd and trampled off of the bus, still in one piece thankfully. 

Taking care of the other drinks, Jason got off the bus dripping a caffeine casualty. Heading into the plaza, he walked up the steps into the marketing firm he worked at without another coffee’s worthless sacrifice. For the busy fourth quarter of their season, the company’s employees were buzzing like bees on the lobby floor as people chatted away on their cellphones about their important meeting and the long line to the receptionist, trying to fit everyone into a tight schedule. Jason tried to maneuver through the crowd and held the coffee tray safely to his chest with his arms wrapped around them firmly. 

Strutting through the waves of business people had caused sweat to pour down his forehead and flinch whenever shoulder impact was inbound. He rushed to the other side and pressed the button to the elevator as quickly as physics would allow. When the doors opened, a few bodies that were leaving the socially awkward casket only inhabited it. For Jason, this was a needed blessing. Quickly he got into the elevator and slammed a finger down multiple times on the 5 button, even if it didn’t make the door close any faster, the feeling of speediness was the only thing that mattered to Jason. Once the doors closed he breathed a sigh of relief. He was alone at last. Jason briefly sat the coffee tray down, trying not to feel too remorseful about his coffee staining his clothes rather than in his mouth as he felt good about saving his coworkers drinks. He pulled off his jacket and shook out the excess liquid on it. “This better not stain for the love of,” he mumbled to himself, he only had so much money to spend on dry cleaning.  He patted down on his chest to check if his white button up shirt and lucky tie had any stains on it. “At least the coat’s the only one going to need it… though since it’s dark, I’m sure nobody is going to notice right?” The buzzing of the elevator’s mechanics responded. “No no, you’re right, I should swing by the cleaner’s tonight. Though I think right now it should be fine to wear till my shift ends,” Jason spoke as if he was having an actual conversation with an elevator. “Wouldn’t want the boss to see me like this though...” He went silent, gripping on his coat half haphazardly with his usual pale complexion turning a light shade of pink. 

Ding!

Jason nearly jolted out of his skin when the elevator politely reminded him it was time to move on with his boring day. He took a deep sigh as he made his way to his floor. The marketing department. Looking around, he at least took solace that it would not be the most hard-edge of days, as calls didn’t fill the airwaves. Not yet anyway. The coffee runner walked down the cubicles, taking a brief glimpse of people either checking social media, playing Minesweeper, or you know, doing their job. However, one particular employee that he stopped in his tracks to see had their head pressing K into infinity on her keyboard, lightly snoring. Jason lightly chuckled with an eye-roll, making a move into the cubicle and lightly placed the green tea in front of her monitor. 

“Ellie, you fancy your sugar tea or am I going to get a refund?” Jason remarked enthusiastically as he nudged her shoulder with a soft poke. 

The sleepy office intern’s eyelids had a hard time cracking open, but when her eyes spotted the sweet but bitter goodness in front of her, her light entered their eyes. Ellie jerked the frappuccino close to her mouth, akin to a starving animal, and expressed her gratitude in between grateful sips.

“Oh my gosh thanks, man! You’re like, the best!” She chirped as she reached to hug his waist in glee. 

Jason gave a chuckle, letting her have her exaggerated hug. “Good thing your conscious-self thought ahead, eh?” he quipped while his eyes wandered to her computer screen. Other than an important essay text document being filled to the brim with Ks, there was a small chat window of a popular dating app with MaraniaLeaf39 sending multiple question marks and sad faces. None of which was her actual work that she’s being paid to do.

“Who are you chatting up?” Jason asked deliberately, with a somewhat knowing smirk. The blonde stared into the empty void for two seconds before gasping for air and slamming her fingers on the keyboard in a panic. 

“Ah! I passed out on her. Gosh, I was about to get lunch with her too!” 

Jason gave her a supportive pat on the back. 

“I’m sure they’ll be fine with the wait, It’s not like the end of the world or anything” Jason commented with a shrug. 

Ellie halted with the typing and gave her coworker an astonished eyebrow raise. Responding in a snappy manner, “Says the guy who can’t ask the boss out, and she wouldn’t flinch even if the floor gave out below her.” 

That snappy comment stung. His blushing cheeks had become a giant red flag flaunting itself in the wind as he cleared his throat, looking for a comeback that could make Ellie eat her words, but he could find none. 

“Ah, well… I mean…” Jason mumbled out uncomfortably before scorching out of the cubicle with the other two drinks. “WELL, this conversation was riveting and all, but I’ll leave you to your... business,” he stated as he nudged the top of his tie, though he didn’t have the chance to evacuate the cubicle unbothered. 

“Hey Jason.” 

Jason snapped his head around to Ellie as she was hammering away on her keyboard. 

“Don’t worry too much about it,” Ellie spoke with a warm smile before turning back to rescue her lovely conversation as Jason made his way out of the cubicle.

Jason did not have to walk to his next stop as it came rolling down the aisle to him. One might say it wouldn’t be a smart idea to wear Heelys in the workplace, especially when you’re over six feet tall, but that didn’t bother the shaggy-haired janitor as he casually rolled down the aisle towards the man with hot liquids in his hands. Jason nearly squealed as the man was inches away from body slamming him. Luckily, he came to an abrupt halt, towering over Jason. It could have been an intimidating stare down, but the janitor was wearing not only his janitor’s jumpsuit that was tied around his waist like someone just coming out of soccer practice, but the buff man adorned a reprinted knockoff kaiju shirt, its printing peeling off from wear and tear. Not the most frightening sight, plus it didn’t help Motor any that Jason knows the dork too well.

The office clerk wasn’t impressed and shoved up his peppermint tea to Motor’s thick pectorals, with Motor not attempting to flinch.

“Bloody hell, Motor! you shouldn’t even be wearing those things inside the building! You could have run me over!” Jason yelled at him at a higher octave than usual. Which by itself, is an achievement. 

The tall man gave a low, mischievous laugh as he took the drink, reaching his other hand over to wrestle with Jason’s perfectly trimmed dark hair. “Thanks,” he responded in a deep voice before immediately skating down the cubicle once again in a flash, just like a beautiful, radical kiss in the wind. Jason's eyes couldn’t roll harder into his skull as he tried to fix his hair back into a more quality shape and re-adjust his favorite blue striped tie. He moved on with the last warm drink in his tight gripping palms. 

His thin fingers tapped on the chai tea anxiously as he trudged to the door at the end of the long white aisles, looking up at the daunting dark oak doors with a proud golden ‘Natasha Maryham’ engraved in a bold font. Jason’s feet didn’t move an inch for the longest time, well, more like a minute tops, but it felt like a whole age before he could calm himself down a notch as his heart was thumping like a pair of bongos belonging to an expert musician. He didn’t exactly care for this feeling as it just made things feel very awkward; they were only friends. He swallowed what he left in his throat, adjusted his deep blue glasses back into order and cracked open the door.

A soft voice made itself clear that the owner of it was talking to someone. “So what you’re saying is that stocks are down and the company is not making high enough profit?” spoke the head manager of marketing, leaning back in one of those nice adjustable leather chair and had her fingers twisting through her thick rose-colored hair with an opaque shade of disinterest as if she was haphazardly listening to someone she calls a friend-but-not-really of the latest office gossip. There was a pause before she smiled. 

“Well, I don’t believe it’s our problem since we’re the marketing firm… Hhmpph… Alright, alright we’ll talk about it when we’re at the networking party alright?” The confident glowing woman then realized that she was no longer alone and looked up at her visitor as she was sitting at her large, ornate desk and held her finger up. She tuned in to the patronizing voice on the phone, rolling her eyes with a relaxed grin. 

“I’ll see you too, sir. Have a good day.” With that, she placed the phone on the receiver with a lengthy sigh while laughing it off. “That old coot just doesn’t understand he can’t place the blame on us for everything that leadership does with their strained relationship with hedge funds, huh?” She casually said as her attention went back to the clerk. Her chin rested on her pedicured fingers and had a kind smirk across her lips, eyeing not only the sweet nectar that Jason held, but the awkward grinning office employee himself.

“Hey wasn’t it Ellie’s turn for coffee this week?” Natasha teased as Jason let out a chuckle while placing the drink on her desk, making sure it wasn’t near anything that looked important. 

“What can I say? I care about being helpful around here and doing unpaid labor.” Jason remarked sarcastically, though when those words left his lips he froze, gritting his teeth as he stood straight up, unconsciously fiddling with his tie. “Ah! That sounded a tad narcissistic if I say so myself- uh… I mean... Not that I already put in hard effort and… wait, that didn’t mean to be catty!! Aaaah bugger I, uhm-” Soft heavenly giggles that only angels could produce quietly interrupted Jason’s babble. 

Natasha had a smile stretching across her lips that only ever seemed genuine. The clerk had already stopped talking as someone now caught him in the middle of pure bliss with blood already shooting up into his cheeks. 

“Calm down,” Natasha retorted as she turned her chair to the side to bend down to pull some paperwork out. “You’re one breakthrough away from a promotion, and speaaaaking of which!” Natasha spun around once in the rather comfortable leather chair as she laid the paperwork out with a dramatic flash of documents hitting nicely on the desktop. “Pulled a few strings here and there, but I figured out how to get you to climb the ladder from here,” she said.

Jason tilted his head like a curious kitten as he stretched his neck to see what she was talking about. His eyes scanned the countless work opportunities as Natasha rose from her chair with a warm, radiating, gleeful smile.

“I saw positions that were open that you’ve been eyeing and thought you’d be interested in.” She spoke confidently, as if she broke into the pentagon with Jason nodding along instantly. 

A smirk was spreading on his face as inactivation had seized his heart to thump in his chest. However, his smile got smacked off of his face when Natasha had casually brought up that he would have to attend the most excruciating route someone would have to go through in the corporate world; a social function. 

“You've been here for a while Jason,” Natasha chatted as she swung her chair somewhat to peer past the long wall windows, “Ordinarily there’s a negligible chance of receiving a higher promotion in this Atlas branded high-school clique.“ 

“Ah, Well, isn’t that a shame, hmph… I think that’s a no go.” Jason backpedaled, scratching the back of his neck in a twitch as his words fumbled from the fear of having to face strangers, talk to them and even shake their bloody hand! That was just not Jason’s cup of tea, and Natasha knew this too well as she tried to persuade him with soft coos.

“Aww~ hey, come on now Jason, you wanted to move positions for a while now, didn’t you?” Natasha had at this point stepped around her desk and was gently leaning on the front of it as she pushed her dyed pink hair to the side.

“I know social things aren’t your... exact skill set, but it’s something that you gotta get a handle on if you want to push forward, you know?” She gave a supportive finger gun, and raised an eyebrow into the mix, trying to help him take the support she was offering. Jason still didn’t seem sure he’d want to go through having to be in a room filled with important strangers that could have him fired on the spot if he had made the simplest of wrong moves. The more he thought about it, the more he didn’t want to go. Besides, who even consider him to take a higher posi-

“I’ll be there as well by the way-.”

“I’ll do it.”

Jason, what have you bloody well done? His eyes widened in absolute fear as her smile grew wider in a cheerful grin. Swinging upwards and clapping her hands together with the gratification anyone would have for their dear friend to step away from their comfort zone to find success, even if that courage had been a false positive, as Jason instantly regretted uttering that yes-man phrase. His heart just had to speak for him, didn’t it? 

“Great! It’ll be a fun time regardless, it’s one of those fancy golf venue parties, that has to be pretty neat huh?” Natasha spoke in that optimistic tone that allured Jason to her. It was always like she knew how things were going to set out and had always prepared for anything getting off track. She was not afraid to face failure and constantly conquered it like some beautiful knight in shining armor. It couldn’t be helped when Jason twitched a nervous grin as her deep rose eyes landed on him again.

No wonder why she was a supervisor. 

“S-sounds nice, I’m sure it’ll be fun.” Jason stuttered out. Soft chuckles faded out into an awkward silence that followed not too far behind, both of them staring at each other expectantly with the silence grasping and reaching for something to fill its void. Probably something very important or flirtatious, but neither of them uttered a single word.

[Image Description: Both Jason and Natasha are in her office. While Natasha is behind her desk, Jason is standing in front of it holding the empty coffee holder. They both look very awkward. ]

The phone rang.

Natasha snapped back into reality first as she reached to pick it up, politely smiling at Jason with a firm head nod. They both knew that their talk needed to end, work had to be done, of course. Jason turned 180 on his heels and left his boss to handle another corporate buffoon on the phone as he headed to his desk, which sat right next to Ellie’s workspace, which looked perfect for staying relaxed in her busy world. He heard her mumbling to herself about needing to catch up with her work and trying to negate saying bad things about herself. His steps dragged on the matted carpet and heavy thoughts held his motor functions hostage by ‘what-ifs’ as if he had said something in the trench of their conversation. 

He could have said, ‘Hey let’s make it a date!’ or even,’I think I’m in love with you! Let’s quit our jobs and run away to start a life together’. Anything might have worked. But he just couldn’t bring up anything to say, instead it ate at him as he slid into his cozy but neat cubicle. By ‘cozy’ he meant as tiny as a storage closet, so he brought what little into the cubicle that would manage to fit. Jason looked over at his monitor, turned off and empty. He could see his reflection that tore his fantasies into itty bitty pieces.

Why would she even consider a nervous wreck like him? Fumbling all over himself and being an alien to human conversation, it was as if he wasn’t even there at all. The powerful and confident force that was named Natasha just blew him away without even trying. In reality, he felt like it was an absolute fact that they’d never have a relationship together, that she’s his boss, but at least he had his imagination that kept him put together. Despite not being the creative type, his mind was vivid with imagery and his daydreams seemed to have a mind of its own. It’s like his own little reality that he could slip into exploring his feelings with little consequence. 

It might sound sad, but to him it was the only way that he could cope with these disgusting feelings and respect Natasha as his friend. Yeah. Friend. His mind was his only sanctuary. 

He flicked on the power button to light up the screen and he began scrolling through his emails without his morning coffee.

Just friends.

[esmeshardwoodfloors]

part of what appeals to me so much about Carlisle and Esme is that in the original text and movies they are both (but Esme ESPECIALLY) so underwritten that we only get glimpses of their relationship, these tiny little throwaway nuggets that help us interpret what it might be like, and they’re all just so desperately romantic 🥺

so many of the ~implications~ have me quaking like

he bought her an island?? and we never know exactly when or why but the obvious reasons to gift a vampire a tropical island are 1) so she could have somewhere to walk in the sunlight without fear and/or 2) so they had somewhere to visit where they could be completely alone together sometimes to fuck for a week straight and honestly both those reasons are just...so good...

I will allow Midnight Sun rights ONLY for that one(1) line about how even after 80 years Carlisle still looks at Esme with ‘the incredulous eyes of first love’ like goddamn...fuck...maybe it was worth slogging through that book just for that

shoutout to the movies for making them one of those couples who is just. casually touching in every single scene they’re in. constantly looking to each other for reassurance and comfort, just the most incredibly sappy romantic dorks imaginable

Carlisle picked a date for his own birthday to please Esme?? like the sheer tenderness of this makes me weak at the knees, he literally didn’t know and no-one else gave a damn enough about him for his centuries of existence until his wife came along and was like ‘please just for my sake can you choose a birthday so we can have one day a year to celebrate the fact that you exist’  💔

tbh just the fact that Carlisle was alive for over 200 years before he ever met Esme is absolutely fucking shattering by itself, knowing that he probably thought he would be alone forever and that it was what he deserved, and then finally meeting and falling in love with someone who understands him and loves him in return, who makes his eternal life feel like a gift instead of a curse, because he gets to spend it with her I just