#where are the pixels why are u killing them

[firelise]

can someone explain to me like im five why these streaming services and places that rip from them will label videos as "HD" or 1080p and you look at the video specs and it is technically 1080p in that those are the width dimensions of the video but it is pixelated over as if buffering from the internet quality even when downloaded (which btw is NOT HD). like

this is pulled from an actual disc:

this is labeled as "HD" pulled from a streaming service that you pay money for:

this shit wtf is this shit

Why is macroblocked pixelated shit labeled the same as actual quality shit? Why are things that I am paying monthly for in 2024 worse than a VHS I rented from Blockbuster in 2004

[autisticlancemcclain]

A shrill beep breaks his focus, and for it he nearly gets sliced in the eye.

He just barely manages to dodge the Gladiator’s blade, ducking under its sword and rolling towards his jacket and boots, crumpled on the floor. He digs out his comm, as quickly as he can with the Gladiator hot on his tail, and glances at the new message. It’s from Lance.

sharpshooter:

keith where tf are u

sharpshooter:

please know if u miss yet another meeting i am going to kick ur ass

sharpshooter:

better yet i’m gonna have allura kick ur ass bc she actually can

sharpshooter:

know that it will be painful

Keith rolls his eyes, dropping his comm and feigning left just as the Gladiator stabs right through where his head was milliseconds prior. No longer worried that he’s missing something important, he throws himself back into the fight, matching his breathing to the clash of his sword against the Gladiator’s, the steady taps of their feet on the floor as they move, the rapid beat of his own heart. It’s easy to sink into the movement, the adrenaline; to stop thinking.

Thinking is dangerous. Thinking is painful. Thinking reminds him only of how much he’s lost, how much he’s falling short. None of that is helpful. The weight of his sword in his hand, the smell of sweat and metal, the harsh white lights of the training room — all that is helpful. All that is real.

“Kogane, you are the most irritating person in space. And that’s saying a lot, because I’m here, and I specialize in being irritating.”

The Gladiator freezes mid strike, then fades into pixels. The harsh lights dim.

Keith turns around with a scowl. Lance matches it, standing right beside the training room kill switch, arm crossed and jaw set defiantly.

“I’m trying to train, Lance.”

“No need. You’ve reached peak levels of infuriating. No more training necessary.”

Keith rolls his eyes so hard it hurts, jogging over to his water bottle and chugging half of it before dropping to the floor and doing push-ups. Whatever. Lance may have shut down the Gladiator, but Keith can train in other ways. He’ll just turn it back on when Lance leaves.

“Oh, you fucking —”

Before he can fully register what’s happening, a sharp wooshing noise gets louder, and he rolls out of the way seconds before a sword flies by his head and imbeds itself in the wall.

A very, very familiar sword, white with red accents.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Keith shouts, but Lance is already sprinting to grab his bayard, face impassive.

Keith scrambles to his feet, lunging for his own blade, barely managing to activate it and hold it in front of him to block Lance’s oncoming strike. The force of the blow is so powerful it sends a painful ripple down his arms.

Lance is just barely smirking.

“If it’s a fucking fight you want than you’ll get it,” Keith growls, spinning out of the way and putting some distance between them, adjusting his stance and tensing his shoulders.

“I don’t want a fight, douchebag. But obviously talking like grownups is too hard for your tiny little brain, so I’m going to explain this in a way you can understand.”

“You’re really shitty at one-liners,” Keith points out, aiming a thrust at Lance’s left hip, which he always leaves open.

To Keith’s delight, Lance’s smirk drops. “That’s because one-liners are stupid!” he says defensively, barely managing to swerve to the side in time to avoid serious damage. He retaliates by swinging his longsword like it’s a fucking bat, and Keith’s head is a baseball, because Lance is allergic to the real swordfighting techniques Keith has attempted to teach him. And also peanuts, but that’s not helpful right this second. “I only have one line to destroy you emotionally! Truly devastating burns are multi-layered, which is why you can never come up with them, you one-dimensional oreo thinnie!”

Keith grunts, sidestepping Lance’s attempt to stab his foot and clashing his sword at the base of Lance’s, right near the hilt, trying to disarm him. It works, but only because Lance anticipated the move, and as his sword is bent from his hand he does some sort of twisting manoeuvre with his wrist and manages to catch it, somehow. It’s infuriating.

“I stopped listening twelve percent into your sentence.”

“Well, you do that a lot, so colour me unsurprised.”

The unfiltered bitterness in Lance’s voice throws him for a loop, distracts him. He blinks, thrown-off, head out of the game.

“What?”

His distractedness costs him. Faster than he can fully track, Lance hooks his foot around Keith’s ankle, sweeping his legs out from under him, and then shoves him to the floor, pinning his wrists above his head, knee to Keith’s navel, sword to his throat. Keith tries to struggle, to either buck Lance off or angle his own sword, still clenched in his hand, back up to Lance, but he’s exhausted — he’s been training since he woke up this morning. Lance has him at a disadvantage.

“You are being a massive douchebag dumbass loser,” Lance says, panting. “I am fighting the urge to kill you for real.”

“Maybe don’t,” Keith suggests, suddenly very aware of the position they’re in and how easily Lance could drive his sword through Keith’s skull. He knows Lance won’t, or else he’d be struggling way more, but the way Lance is eyeing his own sword is certainly not helping.

Lance sighs. “We need to take a break, Keith.”

Keith frowns. “What?”

Lance sighs again, shifting off of Keith and standing, offering his hand. Keith takes it, pulling himself up, and then follows Lance over to the wall, sitting down next to him.

“What?” he repeats, when Lance doesn’t say anything for several minutes.

Lance shifts to face him, and for the first time Keith really notices the bags under his eyes, the sag of his shoulders. “We need to take a break,” he repeats. “All of us. The team. We need to do something that isn’t this —” he spreads his arm, gesturing to their swords and then between them — “all the time. We need a vacation.”

“No.” Keith barely lets him finish. He gets back to his feet, picking up his sword and heading back towards the system modulator, flipping through the different training modules. Lance follows him immediately.

“Keith —”

“No, Lance,” Keith repeats, fists clenching the edge of the computer. “This is a fucking war. There are no vacations. End of discussion.”

Lance mutters something in Spanish, too fast for Keith to pick up, but he clearly hears a few repeated instances of “cabr��n”, and “comemierda”, and “tonto terco idiota que va a hacer que nos maten a todos”, none of which he can translate but he’s pretty sure he gets the general message.

“Keith.” Lance wraps an arm around Keith’s wrist, tugging him away from the training computer. “I cannot possibly understand the pain you are going through. Nothing I have ever gone through can possibly be the same as how it feels to lose a brother. For the second time, for fuck’s sake. I know that.”

Keith clenches his jaw, swallowing the lump in his throat at the mere mention of Shiro. He itches to yank his hand away, boot up the Gladiator again, and train and train and train until he can’t hear his thoughts anymore.

But he doesn’t.

“But you’re not alone in this, man,” Lance continues. Keith turns to glare at him — what a fucking crock of cliched bullshit — but Lance holds his gaze, steady and firm. “Pidge knows exactly what you’re going through. Allura, too. Hell, even Coran. That’s three separate people who understand every single thing you’re going through right now. Intimately.”

That brings Keith up short. “It’s not the same,” Keith insists anyway. “Plus it — it doesn’t matter. What good is talking out our feelings going to do? That’s not going to fuckin’ find him. I’m only going to find him if I keep working.”

“Really interesting that you say that,” Lance says flatly. “I had this exact conversation with Pidge last night, as I was attempting to force her to get some sleep.”

Keith feels something like guilt build up deep in his stomach.

“Oh.”

“Yeah. And it’s one thing for me to mother hen the fifteen year old, but it’s a whole other, weirdly Freudian thing for me to mother hen you, the grownup leader who is supposed to be guiding the team and not a giant headass who is doing intensely stupid shit like ignoring team meetings and training to the point where he passes out.”

“In my defense, the daily team meetings are dumb,” Keith mutters, because apparently he wants Lance to kick him out the airlock.

Luckily, Lance only smiles wryly. “You’re lucky I’m endlessly benevolent and I’m going to let that slide. Come sit down, asshole. You missed today’s meeting because you were busy being emo, but we’ll have a small meeting now. A co-leaders meeting.”

Keith relents, sitting next to Lance on the floor, back to the wall as Lance sits criss-cross-applesauce in front of him.

“Okay. Vacation. Necessary.”

“Counterpoint. We all manage our schedules better and have some free time, and don’t waste our time spending who knows how long doing nothing.”

“Counter counter point. We do both of those things or I mutiny.”

Lance does not appear to be joking even a little. When it’s clear that Keith isn’t going to speak any further, he sighs.

“Look,” he says, pinching the bridge of his nose, “I know that the idea of not doing something for a day is kind of stressful. But…saving the world is a massive bummer, dude. Being on this lonely ass castle in the middle of empty space is a bummer. Chasing a walking purple L’Oreal commercial who is also a homicidal maniac is a bummer. Eating in silence during team dinners is a bummer. Trying to force Pidge and Hunk to step away from their tech for a few hours to sleep and eat and shower is a bummer. Dragging Allura away from the briefing room is a bummer. Making sure you don’t work yourself to death is a bummer. Being the red paladin, if I’m being a thousand percent honest, right now, is a bummer. I’m bummed, dude.”

Despite himself, Keith smiles slightly. Lance grins back, tired and a tad condescending but also fond.

“I got it, Lance.”

“Excellent. I even dumbed it down so it would not escape you.”

“You’re an asshole.”

“You know what would make me less of an asshole?”

“A vacation?” Keith guesses.

“Ding ding ding! Vacation is the answer.” Lance reaches forward, grabbing Keith’s water bottle straight from his hands and taking a swig. “And since you decided to ditch the daily briefing, you get to make it up to me today by convincing the rest of the team to agree and also agreeing to whatever vacation spot I choose.”

“I will agree to one of those things.”

Lance laughs, bright and happy, and it sends such a startling zap of energy and relief through Keith’s entire body that he’s kicking himself for making it so rare, as of late.

“Oh, Mullet, you are so naive.”

Lance gets to his feet, offering his hand to Keith again. This time, when Keith takes it, he holds on for a moment — he smiles at Lance, tired but genuine. Lance smiles back, knocking their shoulders together.

It’s nice to be back on the same page.

———

Keith thinks he reserves the right to complain, honestly.

Well, maybe not. He did work everyone pretty hard. And he is glad that Lance finally convinced him (if threatening to mutiny can be called convincing) to go on vacation, even though you couldn’t waterboard that out of him.

“If you complain even one more time I am going to draw a massive dick with the sunscreen where you can’t reach,” Lance says pleasantly, squirting what Keith would call a massive excess of Altean SPF 900 onto his hands (alien suns are a little more deadly. Who knew). He slaps it on Keith’s back, slathering it with absolutely zero care and an abundance of glee.

It doesn’t make Keith smile. It doesn’t.

“I’ll just wear a shirt until the sunburn fades. Complaining is worth it.”

Lance only hums, working in the cream. It starts to feel good, his cold fingers digging into the knots on Keith’s back. It feels so good, in fact, that Keith lets his guard down.

Rookie mistake if he’s ever made one.

One second he’s sat on the warm sand, tension melting from his shoulders, and the next he’s fucking airborne; Lance picking him up by the waist and throwing him over broad swimmers shoulders.

“Lance!” he screeches, pounding on the red paladin’s back, “fucking let me down! Dickhead!”

Lance is cackling loudly, picking up speed and jogging for the — icy cold! Keith knows! — waves. The rest of the team looks in their direction, but Keith loses any hope of their aid when they all burst out laughing.

“All of you are the worst!” Keith cries, but he can’t deny that it’s nice to hear their laughter again.

It’s been a while.

Still, though, Keith is not going down without a fight. As he and his captor get closer and closer to a watery doom (Keith has never been dramatic even a day in his life), Keith really starts to struggle. He throws his whole body weight to one side, making Lance stumble. He aims an elbow to the Cuban’s ear, but before his hit can land, he hears a voice shout: “Oh, no you don’t!”

Three things happen in quick succession.

One. Lance whoops in triumph.

Two. A curtain of white hair flashes towards him, and yet another arm grabs him around the waist.

Three. He drops, and water colder than the fucking glacial arctic seas envelops him entirely.

He comes back up sputtering, glaring a thousand daggers at Allura.

“You’ll pay for that,” he informs her.

“Ha!” She looks down at him smugly, hands on her hips and one eyebrow raised to her hairline. “Good luck with that.”

Keith doesn’t hesitate before tackling her into the waves.

It doesn’t take long after that for things to devolve into chaos. Hunk happily follows Allura and Lance’s examples, scooping up Pidge — to her rage — and Coran — to his delight — under one arm each, tossing them in the water like neither weighs particular more to him than perhaps a bunch of grapes.

(Dear Lord. If Keith were not so gone on Lance’s ass…)

As much as he tries to deny it, Keith has fun. Very quickly Lance organizes a game of chicken, climbing up Keith’s body like a particularly aggravating monkey (something Keith is happy to tell him) and settling on his shoulders, thighs bracketing his head and ankles crossed at his abdomen.

Keith goes so violently red that he’s genuinely kind of shocked that he can turn that colour.

“Squeeze any tighter, Lance, and Keefers over there is going to evaporate the entire ocean,” Pidge says drily.

Keith does not wait for her to get situated on Coran’s shoulders. He charges.

Despite his brain relaying a constant stream of Oh God Lance’s thighs are wrapped around your head holy shit he’s sitting on your shoulders and he’s barely dressed his fucking legs are so long why are they so long does he have to be this attractive is that even possible what the fuck is the deal with that, he manages to put his full attention into going absolutely ham. He charges, dodges, leaps and bounds, intent on being the winning team of this ridiculous but admittedly fun game.

Allura and Hunk dominate. Easily. It’s barely even a competition. They dunk everyone else so many times that they have to plead for mercy.

Still, Keith has a huge smile on his face by the time everyone peels off and cools down.

“There it is,” Lance says, poking him on the cheek.

Keith bats his hands away. “No idea what you’re talking about.”

But Lance is undeterred by his gruffness. He smiles, fondly, rolling his eyes, then bounds away with a random bucket to the shoreline, likely to look for cool seashells.

Keith is so endeared that it’s honestly a little sickening. Never in his life has he been so attached to the whims to another person.

He doesn’t hate it, somehow.

“If you keep building the habit of watching your red paladin so lovingly, you may be accused of favouritism in the near future,” Coran teases, taking a seat next to him on the sand.

Keith flushes. Your red paladin rings in his ears.

“I don’t watch him like that,” he denies loudly.

“You do so,” pipes up the peanut gallery, also known as Pidge Holt, without so much as glancing up from her, Hunk’s, and Allura’s massive sandcastle. Honestly, sandcastle might not be the right word for it. The magnificent undertaking is significantly larger and significantly prettier than his dingy shack from back home.

“You’re fired,” Keith shoots back. Pidge only rolls her eyes, reaching over and smashing one of the sand figures standing on the castle.

“I just killed sand Keith for your insolence. Beg for my forgiveness or I won’t rebuild you.”

The two of them continue to bicker until Allura throws clumps of sand at them to get them to shut up.

“Aw, the sand got stuck in my sunscreen,” Keith pouts. He tries to rub it off, but it only scrapes his skin off with it, so he gives up. “You’re the worst!”

“I’m going to put more sand in your hair,” Allura says mildly. She scoops up a handful. Keith holds a bucket of water up in front of him in defense.

Before an all out war can be restarted, Hunk stills, looking up from his intricate castle-building with a furrowed brow.

“Hey, speaking of sunscreen, where’s Lance? He can usually be relied upon to snootily inform anyone who will listen about UV rays and skin cancer every hour.”

“He went to go find seashells.”

Hunk’s brow furrows. “And he’s not back yet? It’s been a bit. Do you think he got lost?”

“Let’s go look for him,” Keith says, scrambling to his feet immediately. His heartbeat picks up slightly, ‘Lance’ and ‘lost’ ringing through his head like disjointed echoes. He’s already halfway down the sand by the time he registers the voices around him, hears the calling of his name, feels a steady hand on his shoulder.

“He’s not lost,” Coran says kindly. His green eyes are wrought with pain and empathy and understanding alike, reminding Keith of Lance’s earlier words. Reminding him that his family truly does understand his pain, truly does know him, get him. Coran’s hand squeezes once, and Keith takes a deep breath, smiling slightly back at him, covering his hand briefly with his own.

“Okay.”

Still, the six of them walk down the shoreline faster than they would normally, figuring safe is better than sorry.

“Hey, look.” Pidge points at a small purple critter scuttling across the sand. “Does that thing look like it’s in a hurry to you?”

“I think all crabs kind of look like they’re in a hurry,” Hunk reasons.

Allura smiles slightly, snapping his hands. “It’s the snappiness to their movements.”

Just as they speak, however, another crab scurries along, and then another. Soon dozens of them are visible, digging themselves out of the sand or hopping out of the water, then hurrying down the shoreline like whatever their chasing is about to run out. Eventually the crowd of crabs get so thick that it’s almost impossible to walk without gently sweeping several of them aside to make room for their feet.

“Oh, hey, guys!”

A few yards in front of them, sat cross cross applesauce on the sand, surrounded by hundreds of little crabs, is Lance. In front of him is the bucket he had left with and a sponge-like chunk of seaweed. He grins sunnily at them, so widely that the brown of his eyes is hidden, they crinkle so much, and returns his attention to the bucket. He holds his hand out to one of the many crabs chittering around them, waiting for it to crawl on, then gently lowers it into the bucket, using the spongey seaweed to scrub its shell.

“I’m giving the crabs baths!” The little crab in the bucket seems to wiggle, almost, in some kind of glee, waiting for Lance to finish, pat it on the head, and set it down on the sand before scuttling away.

“You’re bathing,” says Pidge incredulously, “aquatic sand bugs.”

“Some of them have a lot of barnacle buildup,” Lance says primly.

“We thought you went missing,” Keith blurts. He can’t quite keep the fear out of his voice, that built up as soon as he’d realized that Lance was gone, fear that comes out as anger. He regrets it as soon as it comes out, bracing himself for the set to Lance’s jaw and and the defensiveness in his jaw. But to his surprise Lance only softens, holding a crab out to Keith. He takes it on reflex, blinking at it in confusion. The crab blinks back.

“I did not,” Lance promises. “But I was looking for shells, and then I saw Jorge flipped upside down, so I helped him, and then we were chilling, and then I noticed he was walking funny because of a barnacle buildup on his leg, so I asked him if he wanted me to get it off, and he didn’t answer but he was cool to hop in the bucket so I cleaned him off. And then Carmen showed up so I polished her up, and then Amelia, then Hunk Two —”

“You named a crab after me?” Hunk interrupts, visibly touched.”

Lance nods matter-of-factly. “Strong and sunset coloured. All of you have crab buddies. Look.” He scoops up six crabs from his lap, showing the Hunk-crab first, then showing three other crabs in order: a teeny-tiny dark green one with black marks around its eyes, a bright pink one that sparkles when it moves, and an orange one with markings around its mouth. “Pidge-crab, Allura-crab, Coran-crab.” Finally he holds out his hand to the crab that has been sitting protectively on his head, burrowed in his curls. It takes a moment, but eventually the little thing begrudgingly steps from the safety of Lance’s hair and into his cupped hand. He brings it carefully down, giving it an exaggerated smooch on the head.

“This one is Keith-crab,” he says. “Because it is all emo coloured and likes me best.” Lance looks up at him and grins. “I am your absolute favourite all the time, right, Mullet?”

Keith knows Lance is teasing. Obviously. Evident in the way the rest of the team is snickering to themselves, no doubt remembering the years of arguing they’ve witnessed.

But still. Keith feels lightheaded.

“Yeah,” he chokes out, bright red. There’s a beat of silence that stretches out for twelve years, then Pidge guffaws, Hunk bites his lip, and Allura straight up loses it. Even Coran hides a smile in his hand.

“What the fuck, Keith,” Lance says, strangled. His face glows worse than Keith’s does. “You’re not supposed to admit it.”

“Would it be so bad?“ Keith erupts, voice cracking. “So what you’re my favourite? There’s no way you didn’t know! I let you get away with everything! You threatened to shove a sword through my skull yesterday and I didn’t even put you in a chokehold about it!”

Lance makes a long, anguished noise, setting the crab down with great care before burying his face in his hands. “You’re so embarrassing,” he moans. “You don’t have an ounce of rizz in your body. None.”

Keith sputters. “What does that even mean!”

“It means he liiiiiiikes yooooouuuu,” Pidge crows. Allura makes kissy faces.

And, well. Pidge cannot be trusted. She has openly and gleefully informed him that lying for fun is one of her favourite hobbies, especially when Keith is at the other end of her clowning.

But Lance is still trying to shrink back into himself, embarrassed. And he always finds an excuse to have his hands on Keith, somehow. And Keith hangs out with him more than anyone else, honestly.

Keith turns to Lance, hopeful. “You do?”

Lance points at him, glaring. “This does not count. You hear me?”

Keith grins, rocking back on his heels. “I’m not sure.” Lance scowls. Keith genuinely feels like he might be floating, so long as he ignores his asshole friends. “You might have to spell it out for me.”

“You talk to me properly,” Lance lists. “When we are alone. Play it up and wax poetic and — I dunno, flowers or something. You figure it out. I refuse to have this be how I find out you have feelings for me.”

“I mean, I was never really hiding it.”

“I’ll divorce you, Keith, I swear to God.”

Humming, Keith leans close, careful of the crabs, and presses a kiss to Lance’s cheek. At the last second Lance turns his head, catching his lips and kissing him properly. His smile is wide and shy.

“Sure, Sharpshooter.”

[sunnychuuya]

Cutely sobs knowing om nearing the end of sally face

I finished it.

Hey so guess who's looking up a toturoail

Whys the screen so fuckn dark

Me when I forget my lefts and rights do I start going never eat soggy waffles

I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD I DID THAT LAST NIGHT

"we are the shadows of a sleepless dream" fucking banger line??

I cannor handle seeing Diane rn I'm gonna sob

H9LY SHIT SUCH COOL ARTSTYLE

Guys I don't actually think I like the cult I kinda died cuz of them !!

having thr t

Guys this is not girlpop

ash wt Oh yirl WHAT THE FHELL DONT DOT AHT

GUYS I JUST TOLD MT FRIEND THIS DOESNT HAVE GRAPHIC SEWERSLIDE FUCK

GUYS WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED

ARE WE JUST GONNA FUCKING

BRUSH PAST THAT?!

WHAT THE FUCK

THE FUCK FUCK THE FUCK SHIT?!

-"how many loved ones will you kill to save the world. What will be Left worth saving" crying sobbing screaming throwing up

Also am I hallucinating or was that not grammatically correct

No it was

It just doesn't sound like it

"They deserve happiness after all the shit they've been through" me when the entirety of this fucking game

"Do you.. do you think anyone could ever love me like they love each other?" I'm gonna bawl my fucking eyes out sal you're amazign

STOP.

THIS IS NOT FAIR.

NOT THE MEMEORY COMING FROM THE FUCKING BOTTLW

THTA WAS LIKE THE WORST LARRY COULDVE DONE IT TOO

God

Fucking damnit

Larry was sposed to move in with them.. they were sposed to be happy.. nghehhe

NOT THE FUCKING CORPSES

SHIT

QHY

Hmm. Another textbook case of: I hate the characyer until they fucking die tragically

Sal no we're not defending her she still kinda ducked

WHAT THE FUCK

HAH?!

Woah ghsotie arm

Cofnused as shit ngl and this music is terrfyding

oh no! Why is everyone gone!

Giving "why is boss music playing" vibes

UHH GUYS FUCKKKK

SHIT THIS FAME COLLECTING ART STYLES LIKE POKEMON

stop. I love this. So cool.

Yea I don't quite like that. Kinda uhh sus thats like the things that humans grow in in movies

cutely Google safe combination

FUCKKK BRO THE REASON KENNY SHOT SAL IS BC OF THE PROPHECY THING... DAMN GOOD THING HE SUCKS AT SHOOTIJG PPL TOO (the like 300 ppl who died:)

Wait what Jim's latter

JumPSACRW

Guys! Thats so not girlypop!

What rhe fuck!

"You killed them" NO SHIT?!

Me after game over immesirlat

Oh wow thats so cute murder great

CHAT MY CONTEOLLERA DYOPEED AORKING HELPPPPP

OH KENNWTH WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT HOE WHYXDID YOU GOOPIE

MA BOY LARRY WHY U LOOK LIKE THAT 😭 💀

guys oop I apparently missed the thing where u see sal get shot lmao

Its fine I already knew what happened

I just looked it up and what the florp bro

chat I hate this like they all die and they can't even live happily ever after in the afterlife its just not fair.

YAYAYYAYA GHODT GUITAR

Hol up- lemme clean my glasses for this.

"eat mt ass, you red eyed birch!" ILY larry

TRAVIS LWTS FUCKING GO

YES

UES

YES

FUCK

LETS FUCKING GooooOOOOOOOO

WAIT SHIT DID JE JSUT DIE 💀

...

Fuck.

ITS NOR WORKFING

Yeah okay I knew it wouldn't be thst easy but. One can hope.

AHHHHH PIXEL SAL

Yeee guitar blasts

Pew

Pew

FUCK YOU CANT GO FROM SILLY PIXEL SAL TO

EVERYONE WE LOVE IS DEAD BRUTALLY

I diedieidid

Chat have we considered I suck at video games

I just died 3 tomes in a row

fifth death (end me)

I DIDING IT

Oh fuk pixem sal

WHY IS MY ARM GOING NUMB

SAL UR SPOSED TO POSSES ASH NOT ME

NOT THE GREATEST TIME LOWKEY TRYNA PLAY THE GAME

Ooh chairs

Oh duck that scared me

God damnit Terrence

SHUT UP THIS GAME IS SO FUCKING COOL

When I started playing sally face, would I ever have thought I would be whisper screaming "VOMIT YOUR BALLS TERRENCE!" at 12 37 am, he'll fucking no. But it happened.

This is why I am unloved.

What da fuck

Polyrgorns

THE FUCKING MICKEY MOUSE

GLITCHY SAL

Uhh I don't like how the teeth skin is closing in

UNBELEIVILBLY HYPE

Sal really said with the power of music and friendship

wdym it don't feel like over

LARRY DOUBLED DIED WHAY THE FUCK

"Maybe we see him again someday. On the other side of oblivion. If there is such a place." then it just fades out. This game is absolutely amazing.

I love it but it also lowkey felt so incomplete

Like

Idk the ending felt a little fast.

like very satisfying but it felt rlly fast.

But also sf2 is a thing in progress I know

@mypinterestgotbannedsoimherenow

[andersonfilms]

I've seen people post and rant about "tlou💓" DURING the time the strike was going on. And I mean, they would say, "Not everyone knew about it." But you're on tlou Tumblr where people preach about it left and right, so I do expect you to know. And it's the same ones that post about Palestine, too, and it makes me sick. As soon as that strike was over, a lot of people js went about their day like it didn't even happen. A lot of tlou writers said they weren't posting for tlou for a while after the strike, and I appreciate that. And I can't expect everyone to do the same, but alteast have some compassion 😭. There's so many non zionist games that r so good u can move onto writing about. Like people need to do better. And the people on tt aren't any better. Someone will tell u to boycott, and they're ignorant asses will say, " ohh, well at Starbucks right now, they didn't kill people." Do you all not do research anymore???. I'm so sick of people. They need to grow a pair

From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free 🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸 (sorry if I worded this weird, not directed at you!!)

i could not agree more! i think it’s important for everyone to be talking about palestine, congo, sudan, etc. these are living and breathing human beings being wiped from existence, forced out of land that rightfully belongs to them. everyone needs to talk about it! don’t know about? educate yourselves. it’s really that simple.

we have an unlimited access of knowledge at our fingertips. there is no justification for you not to know what’s going on.

taking a beat from writing tlou content, is the very least we can do. and you’re right, there is plenty of other games to write for. i’ve never played the game personally, i fell in love with abby through watching play throughs. there isn’t much representation for women who look like abby at least that i’m aware of and that’s why i personally gravitated towards her. i have no love towards the game, especially now.

but it’s ignorant to not see the zionist propaganda where the game originates from and neil’s intentions when creating tlou. if you don’t know what i’m talking about, READ THIS NOW. you have no excuse to ignore it at this point.

if you can’t take a break from pixel pussy…..idk man…..grow a fucking heart. reading porn shouldn’t be a deal breaker in your day to day life. jesus fucking christ.

women, men, and children are being murdered, starved, their families are being killed, being torn from their homes. they don’t know safety right now. they’re begging to be heard, the least we can do is pause our lives and listen.

from the river to the sea, palestine will be free 🇵🇸

[2bloved]

Me about to also be silly about the mod.

I love the way they portrayed Steven in this. From the blood red rage and anger his song conveyed. To the foreboding regret that simmers in the background (the “I’m sorry” that briefly flashes in the song)

Not to mention, I have a feeling that Steven attempted to/maybe used strangle on bf. In the YouTube video, a word pops up for a split second “strangle(d)” and that would explain why Miki appeared! Because she had the move strangle in the original.

I also like how BF, Steven, and Miki are the only “colorful ones” reminiscent of gameboy graphics but, also because they are the only ones that matter now. The town has gone silent and it’s only them.

Me having so many thoughts about strangled red

I AGREE SO HARD!!!!!!!!!!!

i have many feelings and thoughts about perdition steven specifically like hes SO FUCKING cool

i also really like just how feral and deranged they portrayed him as while keeping the aspect of the fact steven was just grieving (in a violent way) over his deceased beloved pokemon like.. AND THE IM SORRY THING TOO i also enjoy the literal simmering the background (maybe simmering isnt the right word to use but the ummm the actual gameboy AND gameboy advance soundfonts because i can hear a bit of frlg instruments in it too) AND THEN MIKI ACTUALLY FUCKING SHOWING UP ??!?!?!

i think one of the coolest little details about the empty (presumed) pallet town is the slight blood puddle that ripples beside steven it reminds me of umm the pond water light rippling animation in rse this is hyper specific yes but idk dawg it just do

i might be a little biased but i also think its really cool when pixel art esque styles are used in fnf mods and especially here since not only is it a pokemon mod but it feels faithful to like. the original the muted red and vibrant blood red alongside the black go SO well together

THE STRANGLE THING YEAH i agree i think my eyes almost popped out of my head (exaggeration:i was just very excited) when there was a laughing animation AND a brief implied strangling animation (if u lose) that went hard as FUCK

i ALSO have many thoughts about mr steven "strangled" red .. head full no coherent thoughts i havent drawn perdition steven yet but i def will when i get the chance and motivation....

(i also think its pretty funny if you think about steven calling/beckoning glitched 'miki' at will like a dog because homie could really just take one look at you, smile, and just go "...miki, kill." and then out of no where you see a huge desaturated decomposed(?) charizard in the distance flying at you at mach 11)

[ponyopk]

Character Trivia Bonanza

So I've been inactive for a while, and I was gonna do a daily character trivia thing stolen from Pixel but big surprise, I forgot! (This is not a surprise.) So here's A BUNCH of random trivia facts about A BUNCH of random characters! Dreamcast: When I made Dreamcast, I used to have a fuck ton of names, so I chose one and gave it to him. This is why his name is Dreamcast Dreamcast was kind of my persona for a little bit. Originally, Dreamcast was going to be a DID System instead of literally splitting off into other people. Younger Dreamcast has his hair in a ponytail. Dreamcast has a partner named Sturmkast. Originally, every Alterna was supposed to have a name like Dreamcast's (word+cast), which is why Dreamfunk, Scenecast, and Sturmkast have names like his. Saturn: Saturn exists because I was fucking around with a Dreamcast Character.AI Bot I made (I made him kill Shauntal from Pokemon Black/White) Saturn was originally supposed to have a red oriented color pallet instead of his red-orange. Saturn is ambidextrous, but often uses his left hand. The earliest public thought of Saturn lies within the Rivals of Aether Dreamcast Workshop Character, where his last color alt is red, and named "Relentless." I don't think I talked about Saturn yet. When Saturn forms The Oracle, he wears a ponytail rather than letting his hair down. Grimoire Epitaph: Grimoire is an idiot. Grimoire actually has a twitter account (@GrimoireEpitaph), and you can follow her! Starstorm/Professor Sydes: The name Professor Sydes comes from a story I never got around to writing "Sun vs. Moon: The Story of the Lunar-Solar War." The "Sydes" part actually comes from indie game dev Sigyaad, whose username was "Sydes" (it is no longer his username) There's actually another story I used the name Professor Sydes in, though I won't be sharing that because it is embarrassing. Starstorm originally was going to look more similar to Starved Eggman's Furnace, but I opted for a design similar to normal Metal Sonic. Starstorm was originally going to be a blue bunny with white stars. Crazy how different his design is now. PKay: Oh boy, I have the most miscellaneous facts for this little GOOBER. ahem. When singing alone, PKay often imagines Kyo singing with them.

PKay has canonically gone hyper and super.

PKay has choked on a whole pineapple, and nearly died.

PKay takes extreme caution when eating pineapples.

PKay commonly falls backwards on benches when sitting down on them.

PKay really enjoys Touhou Project.

PKay gets really mad when people take her color in Among Us (White). PKay can vibrate at intense speeds with ease. PKay almost died by getting a Wii U Gamepad thrown at their head. PKay can purr.

PKay's main outfit costs 513 Robux, which is equivelent to about $6.41 USD Erin (Hikiko-PKay): Everything about PKay is true to Hikiko-PKay (except Erin's outfit price, which is 213 robux instead of 513) Erin lives in a forest house. Erin was actually a serial killer for a bit after her first kill. She stopped because she was almost caught. Around the time I created Erin, both Erin and PKay haunted me for like 2 weeks Erin's full list of abilities are as follows; Shapeshifting Conjuring/Control of Chains Reality Manipulation Materialization of Animate and Inanimate Objects Hypnotization Emotion Manipulation Flight Teleportation Telekinesis Gravity Control oh and she can see through cardboard uhhhh that's all i can think of right now.

[monasticmaestoso]

I am curious. What r your top five video games

WHOOPS I only just saw this now lmfao sorry

I'll stick to one game per franchise but u can assume im recommending the whole series

5. Oddworld: Abe's Oddysee

One of my two biggest childhood influences. Ps1/PC puzzle/platformer/adventure game about a funny blue guy escaping from slavery when he discovers his whole race is about to get butchered and sold as food products. Gets back in touch with his native roots and gets granted spiritual powers to help him free his fellow captives and topple capitalism while killing hundreds of cops along the way. There's no guns but there are grenades occasionally. Or you can possess the cops and make them use their guns to kill other cops. And then blow themselves up. Has a ton of sequels and a couple remakes, ports and remasters on PC and just about every other console. Cannot recommend enough. Also you can fart on command this game has a dedicated Fart button you use it for communicating (and then in the sequel you can possess farts too)

4. Myst

The other childhood influence. This game and whole series made me a huge wanderlust slut. Point and click adventure, puzzle solving, world exploring, journal reading. Some puzzles will definitely have you Stumped (but feel free to hmu bc I still have the first game memorised like the back of my hand and am happy to offer guidance ^^) my fave is actually the third game Exile, but I gotta pay respect to the OG. It's full of images and sound effects that remain engraved in my brain in vivid detail 20+ years later

3. Bloodborne

I'm actually not talking abt the whole "series" here I dont rly care much for dark souls etc. It's just this one lmao. Love the tone, love the gameplay, love the level design, love all the horrid monster designs. Love the Rally mechanic discouraging you from hiding and playing safe when you should be going full throttle wailing on everything as fast as possible. I love learning to party attacks with a firearm instead of a shield. I love the blood vials system. I love the doll I love Eileen the crow I love lady Maria I love all the funny little creachurs and most of all I love dying and being dead

2. Final Fantasy V

This ones kinda personal and maybe a bias I guess but idk this was my first FF and even now when I go back to it it just Hits Different somehow. Maybe it's nostalgia/bias but even comparing it to the other pre-ps1 FFs it's just got this vibe of its own. The music helps ofc the music is so fuckin good esp the new pixel remaster arramgements. Anyway it's a nice fun story about Four Complete Randos And Their Grandpa And Pet Chicken And Pet Dragon And Pet Sea Serpent And A Gay Pirate Gang And A Furry And Also A Tortoise At One Point who fight against a Giant Evil Tree that spent like a hundred years absorbing all of the most Evil souls in the world and now he wears a big blue suit of armour and calls himself Exdeath. He wants to conquer and kill and maim and destroy and eventually suck the entire world into The Void for no other reason than he's evil and loves being evil and badass. Not a whole ton of complex plot depth but that's why it's so approachable as a FF game. Also this game is where Gilgamesh and Battle on the Big Bridge came from, plus Omega and Shinryu, so if you like those then you're obligated to play this one. Also one of the main characters is a genderfluid twink with a thing for silver foxes and another is a non-binary/transmasc pirate

1. Kingdom Hearts

I couldn't not lmao. The entire series Of Course but also in this case I specifically mean the first one. Again it might be nostalgia bias but the first KH just has this unique charm to it, this warm atmosphere that none of the others have been able to replicate. Traverse town feels like a second home to me

[cloudsgame]

Introducing... Clouds! (The game)

spoiler alert only like 5% of it takes place in a sky kingdom

This is the official Tumblr page for my upcoming game: Clouds! My itch page has been pretty dead (as in, I barely do anything with it) and I wanted to provide more in-depth detail about the game itself! So here, I will do just that! Locations, characters, and gameplay will all be shown here!

So, first off, here's a few questions/notes/FAQ/whatever we're calling this...

What is Clouds?

Clouds is a brand new 2D pixel-art RPG all about making choices. Explore a brand new world where everyone seems to know you, but you don't know them! As you make your way, encounter many enemies who want to capture your rabbit partner, Lee! Kill them or talk your way out of battle.

You're trapped in the wrong dimension, so you must travel to the capital city in order to enact the plan to escape to your home universe, Laru.

But is that actually what the game is about?

No, this is just the main plot of the first chapter. Chapter 1 deals a lot more with setting up characters. Think of it as a prologue. There's no timeskip, however, as Chapter 2 starts the moment after Chapter 1 ends. So what is this game actually about?

The game is about alternate universes. You travel to seven different universes to thwart a (soon to be revealed) threat. Each universe started at the same point in history, but branched off from that single point leading to many different events. Roles get swapped around, different people have different relationships with each other, stuff like that. Think of Undertale AUs where many of them are switched up roles. Another important factor is that everyone knows you're the player character of a video game(well, everyone knows this by chapter 2). You don't play as your own character, you are yourself, and the characters will speak to you directly.

But... this doesn't stop you from travelling through time. Certain events will happen in each chapter that will result in an unsatisfying outcome, but you won't know why. As you progress through later chapters, you might learn the reasons behind these problems, and you can go back and fix them. Then, you can play through the chapters again and see the differences, or you can just return to where you were before. The differences made in these timeline changing scenarios are pretty large, however, so there is always something new to see.

When is the game coming out????

I've been working on the first chapter for about 3 years, and recently finished the first round of playtesting. I don't want to set myself any deadlines, but it's getting closer. I'm redoing a lot of sections but the groundwork is there for everything.

Where's a trailer?? Isn't that like, one of the most vital things to have??

No trailer yet, I have no idea how to make a trailer, but I will try to make one soon. In the meantime I will post screenshots, music, and footage of various parts of the game!

What do you actually do in the game?

The main gameplay is in two parts: One, making choices. Nearly every single thing you do is tracked and will affect your relationships with the characters and your ability to do certain tasks. Two, the game is a "fighting" game. I can't define it into a genre since there is no genre for the fighting system. Each chapter will have a different type of battle system to match the universe you're in. For example, chapter one is a turn based bullet-hell platformer. The people you're fighting want to give you a fair chance, after all, battle etiquette is very important! But, in chapter two, no one cares about battle etiquette. Everyone wants to simply kill you. So, the combat system turns into a hack and slash. Different renditions of the previous battle systems will reappear throughout the game depending on who you're fighting.

...Honestly, I'm still not sure if this is a good idea, game design wise. But I'm committed, and I'll make it work.

Anything else????

Not that I can think of right now, but I will update this FAQ as time goes on in order to discuss the game in more detail. For now, I'm going to work on posting character bios and art so you know what you're getting yourself into!

[scarawayfromfallingapart]

but The (After)life of the Party is one of THOSE songs to me that’s like… to be cliche… a kick drum beating in my chest (again) like idk. This is one of those songs where I think they succeeded in writing it better than I’ve ever felt it but here I go trying to analyze it anyway… I realize I am taking your shtick @petewentzisblack1312 … but this song NEEDS to be analyzed and I am going to try and make you like it :) I have been lurking in ur asks as an anon for a couple weeks and I HAVe to say this off anon… I’m sorry to bother u. My greatest hits include my autotune does not equal bad/talentless rant and my Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) mini-analysis 🤪 but also I learn SO MUCH from ur blog I love it. Anyway!!! Analysis of this song:

Tw : mania, depression, anxiety, substance use

To me this song is about coming down from a manic episode, maybe not even necessarily transitioning right into depression but like. Just coming down from it and kinda seeing the world as it is again, and feeling that kind of mellowed out, where your body allows itself to feel tired again. The title makes it more obvious - he’s no longer the life of the party - it’s over, everyone’s gone home, but he’s still there trying in vain to carry it on.

“I’m a stitch away from making it and a scar away from falling apart” is my FAVORITE line (hence my URL lol)… but the fact that this song opens with that and the narrator is oscillating between feeling 100% and feeling like they’re going to breakdown like THAT is what these transitions feel like to me (ok also I generally feel like this on a daily basis). But this line also gives you a hint of how well it is going… like he’s a stitch away from getting there - the cut hasn’t completely healed so he’s not getting there any time soon : but a scar away from falling apart - like a scar has already healed so it’s old hurt that is threatening to tear him apart —> “my old aches become new again”.

Then we get “blood cells pixelate” which I personally find hilarious since this song has been likened to the sims 3 soundtrack 💀 (I played the sims but I refused to have the music on so I have no idea cannot confirm or deny). Butttt this is obviously like a nod to everything being on film like even everything down to the blood coursing through his veins is made into an image, poster boys for your scene am I right? Also has to do with the scar/stitch - his breakdown is there for everyone to see, immortalized on magazine covers and interviews and E!News segments. But like only the blood cells, like no one gives a damn if he heals from this, thats not newsworthy. Eyes dilate (drugs and/or sex but maybe drugs Bc of the next line - full moon pills got him out on the street at night) butttt mania often comes with insomnia as we well know so. Maybe the pills are metaphorical idk

THEN the narrator becomes an observer - it’s no longer introspective, he’s watching someone else work the room, he’s cutting all ties to them loose, just sitting back and relaxing and watching and I always had this vision of Pete and/or patrick watching some girl flit around the room while he sat there with a lazy smile and drank a beer and leaned back in his chair. BUT on thinking on this more… I think- bear with me - maybe… just maybe… he’s watching himself outside of himself like some kind of dissociative thing (I personally experience that but it’s due to anxiety but it is common among just the general population so who knows) and it’s like you’re feeling that irritable high from the manic phase still and you’re trying to push through and just be part of this party right (or just part of life in general right, like the party is metaphorical IMO) and you separate form yourself in order to get through - your mind and body are not one. You have to watch yourself from the inside out, rely on muscle memory to get you through the party or your job or the tour or whatever it was in his case.

also tying back to I’m a stitch away - right like some part of you is cut in half and I’m a scar away - again, you were cut somewhere, something was severed, mind and body maybe… big brain hours (but also I’m probably reaching for that one)

Anyway then we have the “put love on hold” bc fuck if he’s ready for a relationship - he’s watching this girl desperate for stardom, maybe it’s the girl he’s watching work the room (if it’s not a dissociative thing, or maybe it’s both tbh). Her nose runs ruby red (cocaine is probably the cause I’m thinking, she’s doing lines at this party to be working the room). Death’s in a double bed (orgasms… nice one Pete) but really it’s a classic tale of a girl desperate for roles that she’s willing to sleep around to get there, she’s singing songs that could only catch the ear of other desperate people like her… but… Pete is writing THIS song and Patrick is singing it and they are just as desperate, right, like he’s helplessly watching someone enjoy a party and he’s verging on miserable (or he’s watching himself try to enjoy the party while he’s actually miserable) and they’re trying to catch our ears… we are the desperate… —> “I’m here to collect your hearts/it’s the only reason that I sing”

Then the bridge is where he starts to actually breakdown, the vocals get more intense and strained and chaotic, the sims 3 soundtrack music swells, and he repeats the beginning, reiterating that but adding on “kiss away young thrills and kills on the mouths of all of my friends” - to me he wants to take away all their joy and pain (kills could also = orgasm if u want to be nasty lol and tie it into the death in a double bed) and he wants to feel it for himself because right now he feels NOTHING like he’s right in the goddamn middle of feeling great and feeling like shit and again, to me that exemplifies the transition between mania and depression and we are back to square 1 (to me also thrills = mania and kills= depression but that’s just probably dumb lol).

Also he’s kissing it all away - it’s gentle, it’s loving, like brushing someone’s tears away, he’s not trying to be forceful about it, but he feels like HE should be experiencing all the highs and lows not his friends… or he doesn’t want his friends to suffer… both probably and the chorus is unhinged this time, patrick gives it his all, loses it, signifying hey wait, the narrator DID lose it… but then the song ends with the music coming off that swell, slowing down, relaxing, the narrator resignedly signing off “I’m a stitch away”… giving us maybe an etch of hope, that maybe his stitches healed after all and he did make it through (with hearts and wrists intact I am so corny sorry)

ANYWAY tldr I love this song and it means so much to me and like when I was 15 and found it the first time I was always like “why does this one hurt me so bad, like I don’t get it” but like. Now that I know what bipolar disorder is and that I suffer from it I understand lol. I don’t know if this is how Pete intended this idk I feel like I got some lines right but to ME this is what it feels like. Also it is v fun to play on the violin :)

[luvreyn]

My Manhwa List (2020) Part 6

sHi! How arth thou? I’m back to give you another list of recommendation! 

Beware of the Villainess

Description:

Sit back and take in this romantic tale of an angelic heroine and her devoted suitors as they vie for the depths of her love... or not. This story’s about to go through some edits! After an accident, a modern-day college student awakens as the story’s villainess, Melissa Foddebrat. She’s far from anyone’s favorite, but she IS the daughter of the duke. Determined to live it up, this new Melissa is doing things her way — antiquated society, be damned! All idiots, prepare to step aside or perish!

WHY YOU SHOULD READ:

- plot = 4.5/5

- art = 4.5/5

- C O M E D I C  G O L D 

- their meme-able face are so funny lmao

- ml is so cute & soft & deserves everything in the world

- mc is such a bad-ass like?? she’s so cool & she doesnt deserve to be treated less by that stupid prince ok

- she is beauty, she is grace, she is the queen!

- all i do is fangirl over the mc basically

- isekai

- i love her dynamic with her bro cause honestly same that’s how my sibs and are act sometimes lmao

- her maid is so cool 

- a bad-ass with a heart

- ml has this past and secret and i’m living for it

- a gem basically

- overall verdict, a highly recommended manhwa that will make you all sort of emotions. one of the best manhwas released this 2020 ok i said what i said

I Became the Villain's Mother

Description:

Summoned into her favorite novel as the infamous Duchess Roselia Chade, Haena is bathed in riches, power, and a family of her own. Life couldn’t be better, save for the small detail that her beloved stepson, Einspanner Chade, is also the evil mastermind destined to kill her. At this point in the story Ein is still just an adorable child yet to reach his cruel awakening, and so Roselia is determined to stop him from becoming a ruthless killer. But with the duke getting in her way and trying to poison his own son, safely raising a child that was primed for villainy may prove harder than she originally thought. The survival of both mother and child depends on whether Roselia can successfully rewrite their tragic ending!

WHY YOU SHOULD READ:

- plot = 5/5 ok i’m loving it already despite the few chaps released

- art = 3/5

- IM LOVING THE TWIST

- this is an all out war between father & son ok

- ain is so cute like??

- i s e k a i 

- ain is such a bad ass cute little devil

- i know i know i’m collecting so many isekai-ish manhwas bcoz why not

- i love the mc so much shes so adorable and her previous job is awesome (i know you dont care but i wanted to be a daycare teacher too when i was a kid so yay)  

- she’s such an awesome mom like?? 

- the dad... the dad is idk but he’s a terrible dad for me (right now)

- ^ why is this like a discouragement comment like idek what i’m thinking yet i’m not gonna delete it 

- i love that this is mostly a son-mom manhwa bcoz it’s such a breath of fresh air and not to mention almost all dad-daughters manhwa are hurting me

- i’m here for the mom and son interactions basically

- overall verdict, a highly recommended manhwas for our souls! 

Marked By King Bs

Description:

High school is hard enough without a target on your back, but that’s exactly the situation Annie finds herself in when she crosses a group of the most popular kids in school. Marked by the king bee himself, the notorious Ashton Griffin, Annie becomes his newest fixation--and he is determined to make her life miserable. Now at his beck and call, Annie must stay on Ashton’s good side to maintain her peaceful life and avoid becoming a social pariah. As she navigates her way through alienating social cliques, persistent old crushes, and the hot upstairs neighbor who never puts a shirt on, Annie will soon learn that there’s more to being popular than meets the eye. She just wanted to live a normal life, but maybe there’s no escaping these king bees. An official comic adaptation based on the hit dating-sim game. I AM TARGETED BY THEM!!!

WHY YOU SHOULD READ:

- plot = 3/5 

- ngl but i can already feel the slight cliche-ness of this story and yet i’m still here forgive me this is a guilty pleasure manhwa

- art = 4/5

- i love the mc (yes, that quickly)

- dark haired boyo is mine ok??

- kinda funny

- i miss the school life setting so hihihi

- verdict, a cute and good read!

Pixel of Life

Description:

After finding out her boyfriend has been cheating with her boss, Hana loses her menial desk job of 5 years. Countless rejections later, she finally lands an interview at a small art gallery. Hana jumps at the chance to leave the drama of the past few months behind. But her high school friend (and worst enemy) Jiyeon is the gallery owner? Their most peculiar romance is about to begin… or not?!

WHY YOU SHOULD READ:

- o m g

- plot =4/5 this deserves more read tbh

- art = 4/5

- i’m starting to relate to mc since i started working cause #adultingsucks

- one of my dream jobs huhuhu

- i so love the twist 

- the s i b l i n g s

- i wanna know what happens next!!!

- s u s p e n s e 

- mix with mystery and spinkle with secrets and viola i present to you: the pixel of life

- verdict, a super good read!

The Antagonist’s Pet

Description:

Blessed with the face of an angel, young Sasha Tartt knows a life-altering secret: in this romance novel where she’s just a side character, she’s the only one who knows the true ending! When the antagonist of the story takes a particular liking to her, she must make a decision: help the clever and beautiful Rebecca find a happy ending, or side with the sweet-natured protagonist to ensure her own survival? On top of that, Sasha has to juggle the affections of her bespectacled love interest and tame a dragon boy! Can Sasha learn new tricks to win the hearts of these main characters? Based on the hit novel.

WHY YOU SHOULD READ:

- plot = 4/5 so few chaps yet so good

- art = 3/5

- i so love that she acts dumb when she’s not cause i love scheming characters

- W O M E N  E M P O W E R M E N T

- who run the world? girls! 

- i love that she loves the villain cause girl same

- idec whether there’s an ml or not cause we stay for their future bond

- she is beauty, she is grace, she’s the villainess pet

- ^ it sounds better in my head

- verdict, a refreshing manhwa that will leave you wanting for moreee!

[timextoxhajima]

Grounded: Level 3

Level 2 | Level 4

Member: Minho (Lee Know)

Genre: idol minho x idol trainee reader

Taglist: @jaehyvnsvalentine​​ @licorice526 @lolwhatameme @felixn-recs​​

[D E C E M B E R 2 0 1 8]

“Do you need me to g-”

“No, please stay.”

Yeonjun turns to look at you, eyebrows furrowing because he can hear the fear in your voice. By now, he’s probably figured out how one-sided you’re feeling about your friendship with Minho. He knows you’re suppressing a backhanded anger for Minho - as much as you’re aware he cannot consistently keep up with your life, it wouldn’t have been difficult for him to drop you a text every now and then. 

“Are you sure?” Yeonjun looks up at the person you’re staring at, the distance slowly shrinking as Minho makes up his mind to walk towards the two of you. “I don’t want to be interrupting something important.”

“But he’s not the one who’s been helping me in a time I really need someone,” The thought being verbalised after such a long time leaves a disgusting linger on your tongue. 

“Wait, y/n, what does that mean-”

“It means I want him to choose.”

Yeonjun’s frown is now deeper into his forehead. Minho is about twenty metres from you. 

“Choose? You can’t expect him to choose between you and his career-”

“Why can’t I?” You are just a few notes lower than actually shouting. He’s about ten metres away now. “It’s been a year and it’s like he doesn’t remember I exist anymore.”

Yeonjun’s dark orbs are faltering as Minho closes in. Then he chooses to say something that deals a last blow to your logic. 

“If he’s forgotten about your existence then he wouldn’t be walking here right now.”

The whiplash in your neck shoots bolts into your skull when you suddenly turn to Yeonjun, your breathing becoming labored as Minho stops just about a metre away from you. 

“Can we talk?”

The way his voice manages to overwhelm the noise from the crowd is stunning. Then again, you haven’t heard him actually speak to you in about a year; it makes your heart want to stick itself through your chest like the Alien. 

“I’m surprised you’re even allowed to walk around in public without bodyguards.”

From the corner of your eye, you note Yeonjun turning his head away in slight frustration or disapproval. Minho shuts his eyes for a moment, like he’s guilty and he’s mustering up the courage to continue. 

“Contrary to popular belief, Stray Kids has a long way to go.”

The awkwardness in the air stings your nerves like water through dry, cracked skin. 

“Can we please... talk? I just... I know that I haven’t been around, especially when you needed help with training.”

“There’s nothing to worry about. I have Yeonjun to help me.”

Using Yeonjun as a shield doesn’t make you feel any better though. Instead, it hurts you more when you notice the hurt that’s beginning to brew in Minho’s face, despite half his face being covered by his mask. 

“And I’m happy for you,” Minho glances at Yeonjun, whose face was slightly contorted with a mixture of frustration and disapproval. He’s going to kill you when you get back to BigHit, but not in front of a debuted idol; not in front of a crowd. “But... I just wish we could go back to the way we were-”

Minho’s voice falters, and it’s a heavy blow on your angry stance in his presence. Starting to hear your heart in your left eye socket, the eyelid starts to twitch, and you can feel your nerves beginning to pull you backwards - away from Minho. 

The conflict within you crushes you faster than you expected - if you were even prepared for it at all. 

I hate it that I was the one who pushed you for it. I hate it that I was the one who told you to keep going. I hate it that I was the one who got so happy when you finally reached your dream. I hate it that I was the one who got mad when you prioritised your career. I hate it that I was the one who understood why you did it. I hate it that I was the one who chose to press and pull and pinch this friendship until it’s hurting me. 

I hate it that it looks like it’s hurting you... more than it’s hurting me.

“I won’t be where I am without you. I wouldn’t be standing here, worried about people figuring out who I am... Had you not given me the strength to go back.”

But you’ve always been the one who’s given me strength, not me to you. 

“I just wish we had more time,” He’s shaking his head ever so slightly, eyes finally travelling down when he realises he cannot maintain his disintegrating pride. “Please... I can’t- I can’t lose you. You’re one my best friends and I just... I can’t meet up with you as often as I do with my male friends because we’d both be screwed by the public-”

“And so... You forget that texting is a thing? Calling, maybe?”

Yeonjun sucks in a deep breath and intervenes, unable to contain his discontent with the way the conversation was developing. “y/n, he’s busy. He’s got a bunch of schedules to handle when he’s not vlogging his own private life. Give him a break.”

“A break?” It hurts on your heart because you were no longer sure where this anger was coming from. “Yeah, damn right he got a big break.”

“y/n!” Yeonjun snaps angrily, finally grabbing on your arm and nearly manhandling you backwards, away from Minho, like you were a feral dog. 

Minho’s eyes are set on the way Yeonjun’s staring at you, while your tear-glazed eyes are flitting from Yeonjun to your best friend - or at least, who was once your best friend. 

You don’t realise it until Yeonjun’s grip on your arm is holding you still - your arm was already trembling from the sheer amount of emotions ripping through you in the face of Minho. 

“If you have nothing better to say, then have this conversation another day. Right now, you’re being an ass and I would’ve slapped you if we were related.”

Aggressively yanking your arm out of Yeonjun’s hold, you shift backwards and glare at Minho. Angry that he’s not spared the minimum effort to reach out to you, you turn before he can see the first tear fall from your eyes. 

From afar, you can hear Minho say something to Yeonjun, but his voice is washed out by the swarming crowd as you rush through it in a bid to run back to your safe haven - right back to somewhere you’ve been emotionally condemning Minho for going to. 

How ironic. 

Once out along the streets and a safe distance away from the night market, the cold, almost-freezing air is threatening to solidify your tears on your cheeks. The bus stop is desolate, one of those stops that nobody waits at: that was how far you had run from where the night market was. 

The familiar pattern of shoes rustling and shuffling against the floor rushes nearby, then finally slows down to a stop next to you. Your gloves are stained with the tears had stained your face when you recklessly wipe them away, not bothering about how people probably already recognise you as a BigHit trainee. 

Yeonjun’s breathing calms from running after you, and you can feel his gaze tear through you, though in a different way than what Minho did.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

A sniffle clogs your nose. “No.”

“He cares, you know,” A pause. The tears run. “But what you said to him back there...”

Out of the corner of your eye, you see him look down at his feet and shake his head, his slightly tousled hair from the rushing bobbing up and down. 

“It wasn’t fair to him.”

Yeonjun’s comment weighed a billion tons your heart, for you know in the deepest crevices in your chest that it, in fact, was not fair.

A wince prowls over your face as you provide some kind of effort into hiding the sudden contortion when the need to cry overwhelms you. It takes you awhile to notice that the gleams in your eyes were no longer just the tears but also the snow that’s landing on the floor around your feet. 

Eyebrows furrowed and eyes finally clenched shut, your lips part to suck in the deepest, coldest breath you’ve ever taken. It feels like you’ve single-handedly destroyed the most important friendship in your life and there’s nothing you could do about it.

The breath exhaled is a thick, almost cotton-like cloud as your head hangs lower and lower until you feel a heavy scarf come around your neck. Yeonjun’s questionable boots come before yours as he wraps his scarf around you, gently patting you on the crown of your head.

“I know you have feelings for him. It’s the only reason why you’re reacting like this.”

In attempt to hide your frustration, you shove your hands into your pockets and clench your fists under the thick layer of the gloves. 

“But like I said before, y/n... If you’re doing this for him and not for yourself, then this isn’t an option,” He finally releases the scarf and takes a small step back. “You sign that contract and you’ll need to go through Hell just to get out of it.”

Relentless now, the tears. The snot’s that’s running down your philtrum’s staining his scarf too but- he probably can’t care less. You can’t care less. He’s seen right through you like glass and Minho- of all people- can’t see through you the same way Yeonjun does. 

The sound of cars whizzing past and people walking by was strangely comforting, albeit the storms and thunder claps in your head and heart. You’ve just flushed your friendship with Minho down the toilet bowl, and there was probably nothing that could atone for it. 

“Come on,” He starts, just loud enough for you to hear. “Let’s head back. The members are around, your trainees too- Hey, I heard the Bangtan hyungs are coming back tonight to celebrate the New Year with us.”

Great, another reminder. 

“Right,” You sniffle loudly and carelessly wipe away your mucus and tears, forcing a smile out through all that tainted happiness. “Haven’t seen them in awhile.”

Yeonjun looks back at you with eyes that know how you’re feeling, and he offers you one of his arms for you to slide under so he could protect you from all the ache in your chest.

[F E B R U A R Y 2 0 1 9]

스트레이키즈 현진 졸업식, '막내 아이엔이랑 왔어요'(Stray Kids, SOPA Graduation)

A scoff runs dry your lips, eyes travelling from the pixelated screen to the boy sitting next to you, swinging his legs childishly while sitting atop the railings. 

It’s fascinating, the way the school structured it’s pick up system. Idols or idol trainees could wait in a designated area for their respective vehicles or cars to come pick them up from the pick-up point - you were just lucky enough to know enough of these people to wait with them. 

“What?” Hyunjin whines, lips twisted downwards like those ‘colon and bracket’ sad faces. “It’s not my fault you watch so much Stray Kids’ content.”

Jeongin was fiddling with his sleeve when he finally looks up at you, and the boy decides to slap you across the face with words that you would’ve otherwise slapped him for.

“But don’t you only watch Lee Know hyung’s stuff?”

Hyunjin’s eyes dart to the younger, sucking his lips between in his teeth in a bid to hide his cheeky smirk. 

“Man’s got a point.”

“You two have a death wish.”

“Bye, Stray Kids!” You turn to see Daehwi and Woojin rushing for a black van. “Bye, y/n! I hope to see you on stage soon!”

“I’ll think about it!” Waving back aggressively, Daehwi giggles as he gets into the car after Woojin. 

Hyunjin, Jeongin and you wave at the passengers of the van as they drive off. Hyunjin was holding a bag full of bouquets whilst you were holding just two, one that Yeonjun and TXT had delivered and another from your fellow trainees. 

“You’re still thinking about that contract?”

“You make it sound like I’m thinking of buying a piece of clothing.”

“It’s just... you’ve gone so far. You’ve been training for- what? 2 years now? Stopping now would render your two years of training useless.”

“Look, I just need more time to... decide.”

Both boys turn to look at you, one obviously more aware of the situation than the other. Hyunjin’s brows are slightly furrowed when he can hear the weight in your voice.

His lips are parted just before he can say something, but a honk beeps him out of his train of thought.

“Oh! He’s here!” Jeongin hops off the railings and rushes to the side of the pavement. 

Hyunjin jumps off and turns to you first, eyes calming scanning your face that’s struggling to hide any hint of emotion.

“I think you should talk to him. He’s as upset and bothered about it as you are.”

Their pick-up stops right before Jeongin, who pulls open the door and climbs in first. 

Unable to set down your pride, you choose to look away, not noticing Hyunjin leaning into the car to get something before he climbs in himself.

“This,” He holds out a bouquet of roses and baby breaths wrapped in white and blue. 

For me?

“This is his apology. I think you have a part to play in this too.”

“Hyunjin-ah, time to go,” The manager calls out from inside, greeting you with a small wave from the drivers’ seat. Your smile is weak with the flowers in your hands, and Hyunjin gives you a gentle pat on the shoulder before he gets in the car again. 

Waving to Jeongin who was waving to you through the back window of the car, you can feel the weight of the flowers in your arm. After the car is out of sight, you look down and inspect the gift, picking out a small card with Minho’s handwriting on it. 

Happy Graduation! I hope you’re doing alright, and that you’re taking care of yourself well. I heard you’re still training at BigHit, and Yeonjun told Changbin that he’s debuting soon... which means he’s not around much to help you so, if you ever need help, you know who to look for.

Love, Minho 

Another horn blares you out of your raging calm - it’s your pick-up. Clutching the flowers tightly, there’s a growing desire to get to the point where he inspired you to work towards. 

[M A R C H 2 0 1 9]

Surprise 모두 기립 박수

Suicide squad 현실판에

Frightening Let’s get burning now

The adrenaline is rushing through you a thousand miles per hour, any more and you could probably phase through a wall or something. It looks satisfying in the mirror, probably later when you monitor your progress but right now, all you were worried about were your arm angles and how your head isn’t moving according to the be--

Click

Two familiar heads of brown locks strut into the practise room, completely not fazing your lonesome performance in the sickening room. 

“Wow, ATEEZ?” Soobin chuckles as he walks in after Yeonjun. 

“I- It’s a- It’s a good song to practise my- stamina-” This last San bit is a pain in the ass.

“But an ATEEZ song?” Yeonjun winces at you through the reflection in the mirror as he watches you thud to the floor at the end of the performance. The music comes to a halt, slightly echoing in the studio. “It’s like you’re practising for a marathon.”

 “Well,” There is an apparent struggle to catch your breath while you remain on the floor, eyes looking up at the two boys. “Let’s just say if it’s one thing I’m getting an A for tomorrow at my evaluation, it’s going to be dancing, so...”

“That sounds like you,” Soobin nudges Yeonjun as he stretches a palm out for you to take. 

“Whoa,” Strutting over to your bottle by the mirror, you pull the cap off and raise a teasing brow at Soobin. “I don’t think you can ever compare me with the top trainee of BigHit.”

Soobin giggles at Yeonjun rolling his eyes in the mirror, just short of hurling something at you before he tackles you over and messes up your sweaty hair. But TXT was so well-received in their debut, it almost hurt to believe that you could be debuting as their first sister group. 

“How are your vocals and rapping? Didn’t you say they’ll only make you do monthly evaluations after you sign the contract?” The plastic bag that you didn’t notice from before gets taken away by Soobin, and he fishes out some bottles of energy drinks and some sandwiches.

“I could be better at singing... I assume... Yeah, no- I... I asked for the monthly evaluations.”

“What?” Soobin’s eyes are adorably enlarged, twice their original size. “Are you nuts? Just what have you gotten yourself into? My God, you’re even dumber than I thought.”

“I would second that,” Yeonjun points to you after pointing to Soobin with his thumb over his shoulder. “But, it’s a great way to maintain your progress.”

Then he goes over to sit down next to Soobin near the sound system. “Got anything you need help with?”

“Uh...” Running your fingers through your greasy hair, you rest your free hand on your hip, running the songs through your head like an archive. 

“Are you performing 3 songs for each category or- You’re not singing, rapping and dancing to ATEEZ, are you?!”

“The Hell- No!” You chuckle and wave the nonsensical conclusion off. 

“Oh, thank God,” Yeonjun clutches his chest. “Else, you could probably pack up and move out of your dorms by tomorrow evening.”

“If it’s one thing I’m getting that A for, it’s dancing. So... I could get all the help I could get.”

Yeonjun strolls towards the sound system where the player was, scrolling through the list of songs that were most commonly played. 

And so, Yeonjun and Soobin watch you slide across the floor while performing an EXO song, sing a song from HONNE, and completely forgo the rap section. Soobin’s tears of laughter stained the floorboards as Yeonjun rushes after you in a bid to tackle you and ruffle your already messy hair, because how dare you forget that rapping is a thing!

When they leave for their own training, the coolness of the studio finally sinks in after another long day. Your earbuds are finally useful now, after hours and hours of nothing but loud blasting so you can deafen and annoy yourself with the same songs over and over. 

난 알고 있어도 날 볼 수가 없어

답답해 제발 딱 한 번만

The studio lights are still finding some way to seep through your lids despite them being shut, and his voice feels like you’ve been pulled through Hell just to reach Heaven. But the lyrics have etched itself into your brain like carvings into stone, and it keeps you awake at night. 

Maybe you were overthinking, feeling all his emotions in those two lines he got in that song. But you heard something, even if it was just in your head, it was something.

He looks different now. The way he’s on stage, the way his nerves shift along with the beat, the way his voice comes out louder but still quieter than his heart and the thoughts in his head. He was never one to actually vocalise his feelings until he hits his tipping point... so, it’s a new kind of sour or bitter or all the tastes you dislike that lingers on your tongue. 

Lee Minho, you are one of a kind. 

Tiredness gets the better of you when you are aware you’re slowly drifting off to sleep. Your muscles have ached to the point where you no longer feel the pain; they just feel numb. The world starts to feel lighter, even if its the tiniest bit, as the exhausting slumber claims you...

Thus, it’s a startling surprise when you are jolted out of your sleep by someone tapping on your shoulders, and you are sure your eyes are bloodshot. 

“Oh, y/n!” It’s Jung Hoseok, J-Hope of BTS. “My God, did you sleepover?!” 

“Oh- I-” You pull your phone out of your pocket, realising it’s dead. “I guess I did... What time is it?” 

Hoseok immediately helps you up to your feet when he sees you struggling to get up, hair messy and smelling disgusting, probably. “Um, it’s 11am.”

“WHAT-” Hoseok hops back in surprise when you nearly yell in his face, and you fumble around to collect your things to return to the dorms to wash up, only for you to come back and continue before you were royally screwed over by the judging panel. “11?! I have an evaluation at 2pm!” 

“Wait, y/n! Didn’t you ask for this evaluation yourself? There isn’t a need to worry if you can’t make it for an unofficial one-”

“No, but I- I worked hard for this-” Grabbing your speaker and phone and charger and earpiece and earbuds and clothes and knee guards, you can feel the stress building up like Jenga in your stomach. “I can’t not get that A for dance at least-”

Then you are one feet out of the studio before you abruptly run into someone, nearly smashing your shoulder into the unknown stranger. 

That is, until you look up in a bid to apologise out of politeness.

But then there it is again, those dark brown feline eyes. It’s like you’ll never escape them; it’s like you’d always run into them when you least expect to. 

“Minho.”

He blinks, obviously surprised.

“y/n,” He glances above your head, possibly looking at J-Hope, before looking back down at you. “Are you... okay? You look like-”

“Shit?”

Minho purses his lips, unable to contain the little smirk that surfaces in the corner of his mouth before he panics and covers the bottom half of his face. Even you weren’t sure if you were making a joke about yourself, or that you were genuinely trying to rub it in his face that your friendship was as good as gone. 

“I was... going to say exhausted. But I assume you already know that?”

Tired, you run your hand through your slightly greasy hair, your bag slung messily over your shoulder. “Yes, I’m aware. And I have an evaluation to worry about in three hours so... I gotta bolt.”

It feels like you’re trying to shift mountains, looking at him in the eye. He isn’t that much taller but there’s definitely something different about him. Not to say that he was looking down on you, but he now walks with confidence on his shoulders and pride in his heart, and no matter how much you detested him for forgetting that you existed, you were happy for him. 

But of course, you’re prideful yourself, so you choose to look down and walk away from him. 

It’s time to worry about myself. 

[artificialqueens]

Maybe You're My Enemy (Diamond Chaney) - Ortega

a/n: hey, hi, hello! welcome to the first canon compliant thing i have written since 2017, i am *~ petrified! ~* . i had to write something to fix these two though after the events of episode 8 because i just love them dearly (and the fact in the subsequent episode Lawrence just dropped in the fact they’d shared a bed didn’t help this at all). thank you so much to @purecamp for reading it over and reassuring me it’s not a heap of shit (so if it turns out that it is then just blame her xo). also the song it’s set to is enemy by Charli XCX in case u want to get the immersive vibes!

fic summary: On one side of Scotland, Lawrence disappears from social media. On the other, Ellie reflects.

***

They say, “Keep your friends close”

But you’re closer, I love when you’re here

I’m so far away sometimes, I’m distant, yeah

The sky is grey. The clouds are grey. The stagnant water of the quay is grey, and so’s the metal rail that Ellie’s holding on to as he narrows his eyes, tries to stop the wind from hitting them and making him tear up.

As if the wind would be the only reason.

He brings his gaze into focus on the HMS Unicorn, sat in the water in front of him like some massive whale that’s been planted in a bathtub. It’s a fucking ugly ship; a glorified tugboat on steroids with a big bowsprit sticking out at the front all out of place, but he likes the little bust of the once-white unicorn that sticks out from under it. Ellie remembers getting brought here for a school trip in Primary 3, pointing to the unicorn all excited and getting laughed at by the boys in his class that he knew were going to grow up to be the ones that gave the teachers lip and got suspended in high school.

He remembers that Bryce made up the fact that one of the boys had “said the f word” in the gift shop later that day, just so Ellie could have the satisfaction of watching them get screamed at by their teacher. Ellie still fucking loves him for that.

Ellie thinks the unicorn is out of place in all this grey. He remembers the time he did his unicorn mix when he opened for Willam, how nervous he’d been and messaging Lawrence about it and getting a “this you coming out to me as a furry?” in return which made him laugh and forget why he’d even been nervous in the first place. He can’t help the smile the memory brings to his face even if he wants to.

And he wants to.

Lawrence always could make him smile, get a laugh from him even when he didn’t feel like it. He remembers with a blow to his heart what Lawrence had said on the show- “you’re not terribly funny? Like you don’t have…zinger-y punchlines?” - and how Tia had laughed and Ellie had wanted so much to bite back but didn’t.

Because he always could draw a laugh out of Lawrence. Granted he was usually laughing at him rather than with him, but Ellie could still put a smile on his face by acting dumb, saying things that Lawrence would subsequently repeat in a screech of disbelief that would always make Ellie laugh harder anyway. He’d always self-impose ridiculous dares on himself in front of him: in Hive, “here, what if I did the entire shot rainbow?”, in Nandos, “d’you think I could do the wing roulette by myself?”, in Glasgow on the Subway on the way to a gig, “dare me to get off at Ibrox and I’ll go to the Louden Tavern dressed like this?”. Ellie had been used to being the class clown for Lawrence, the jester for the queen.

Or maybe just a fool.

Ellie’s always hated the colour grey.

You might help me, intimacy

I’ll admit, I’m scared

Maybe, maybe you can reach me, yeah

His surroundings turn to silver as he shoves his hands in his pockets, heads towards the V&A museum that’s still glinting despite the lack of sunlight. He’s stopped by two teenage girls that are polite and shy and squeaky-voiced as they ask for a photo- he supposes that’s what he gets when he goes out wearing the pink and purple fur coat with the hearts on it. Ellie forces a smile and thanks them for supporting him and they tell him he’s their favourite in return.

After they walk away he thinks they must have been lying, but then he feels the frown etch itself onto his face as he shakes his head. The self-doubt is a hangover from filming that he needs to shake off.

He squints at the museum as he walks past, fleetingly thinks about going in and looking at some of the old fashion to cheer him up. A’whora’s promised to go with him when he’s eventually allowed to come up to visit, and Ellie snorts at the idea of the fashion queen of the London scene in Dundee. The thought of A’whora’s reaction to the Wellgate shopping centre- the Credit Union, the B&M, the Jobcentre Plus- puts the first smile on his face he’s had in days.

Lawrence had gone round the museum with him too, when Ellie had dropped him off at the train station the day after a gig and they’d been killing time. It had been weird to just dick about like that together the first few times. Weird the fact there was no makeup, glue and wigs, no alcohol or gay anthems to yell over. Just two boys walking around a museum together. Like a date.

Ellie makes a face before he even realises. Not this.

The first time they did all of it together was weird. Just like everything Lawrence had written. Nandos, cinema, staying at his. That last one especially. Ellie can still remember the way he’d stared up at the bumpy ceiling from his position on Lawrence’s couch in the pitch dark, street lamps from outside casting shadows through the blinds. The room was too cold and the blanket was too small and he hadn’t slept a wink but he’d still do it all over again.

The first time they’d both lain on Lawrence’s bed the morning after the night before, cracking up at Scottish You Laugh You Lose compilations on Youtube and Ellie being unable to help the tears that streamed down his face at Lawrence imitating “big shoe, big shoeeee!”. The way they’d been close and the way their arms had touched and the way Ellie had felt ridiculous for the way his heart was hammering. Just a friend.

The first time they’d found each other under the dark lights of CCs when they’d both been through in Edinburgh to support Alice by chance. The way Ellie’s heart had lit up like a firework when he saw him. The way they’d laced their fingers together without even having to ask permission first, the way everything just seemed to be as simple as tequila rose shots and pink lights and leaning against the wall as they smoked outside.

The way everything else had just happened so easily.

Ellie squeezes his eyes shut before he can realise what he’s doing. The memories have forced their way in, kicked down a door in his head that he’d been sure he’d bolted shut.

He needs to change the locks.

Maybe you’re my enemy

Now I’ve finally let you come a little close to me,

Maybe you’re my enemy

You’re the only one who knows the way I’m really feelin’

Ellie is in the same Stitch onesie he’s been shrugging on since the last episode aired. It stinks. He’s joked to A'whora that he can probably smell him through the phone, and A'whora’s asked if he just sweats out Mango Loco Monster. Ellie makes some joke about wringing out his clothes into a pint glass if he did, which makes A'whora retch on camera.

He’s glad they made up at least. They didn’t have too much of a choice, to be fair. Apart from the way they get on so well, their bond and their friendship, A'whora’s the only other one who knows what it’s like to be in Ellie’s situation.

Except A'whora never stabbed Tayce in the back.

“You should talk to him,” A'whora insists, bringing the whole sorry situation up in a pause where Ellie must have looked as if he was about to make a vodka bleach mixer.

Ellie looks pointedly back at him through the screen. “I’ve been telling you to talk to Tayce for months.”

He watches A'whora pull an awkward face and he’s satisfied he’s hit a nerve. “That’s different though. You and Lawrence don’t live together.”

“Yeah. Least I wasn’t stupid enough to move in with someone I fancied, how’s that going for you?”

A'whora splutters a laugh that doesn’t quite meet his eyes. Ellie feels guilty all over again. He feels like that’s his default these days. “Sorry, chick, I shouldn’t have-”

“No, I mean. It’s fine. Just have to act as if I’m not in love with the bitch every time I’m around her, it’s not hard,” A'whora deadpans.

Ellie frowns. “You know Tayce feels the same. Everyone knows it.”

“No I don’t,” A'whora says instantly back to him, shaking his head and dissolving momentarily into pixels. “Besides, even if she did, like…it’s easier if she didn’t, y'know? All this…publicity, every move getting analysed. It’s easier to just…not.”

Ellie narrows his eyes. “You’re doing a smashing job making the case for me and Lawrence.”

“You know what I mean! You don’t get people asking where Lawrence is in every live you do. You don’t get people going through the show fucking…frame by frame and then editing every time you breathe around each other together and setting it to a bloody Little Mix song.”

Ellie bursts out laughing and starts singing Black Magic down the phone to him, which makes A'whora look pointedly at him before clearly being unable to hold it for long and instead laughing with him.

Both their laughter dies down and Ellie watches as A'whora smiles sadly, sincerely. “He’s worth the risk, Els.”

“Oh my God, prison. Who the fuck are you, Nicholas Sparks?”

The reference flies over A'whora's head and Ellie starts explaining the plot of the A Walk to Remember, steering the conversation out of the waters it had become marooned in, the captain of his very own HMS Unicorn.

He feels more like he’s aboard the Titanic with every message that goes unread.

Now it’s really clear to me

You could do a little damage, you could cut me deeper

“It didn’t get you a badge though, was it worth it?”

Ellie’s asked himself that every day since the episode aired. Since he made the decision, pretty much. Financially? Yes it was. It’s pretty well-known at this point in the grand scheme of Drag Race that with each week you’re on the likelihood of securing more bookings is increased, and now with his slot at Drag Fest he feels as if he’s hit the jackpot.

Everything else? Not so much.

Ellie still feels his stomach drop if he thinks enough about that untucked, which he does all the time. Too much, in fact. The aggression in Lawrence’s voice which Ellie knew all too well was a manifestation of hurt on so many levels. The way Lawrence chose the conflict that Ellie wished he could have avoided. The way Lawrence left his feelings bare while Ellie couldn’t trust himself to do the same in case he said something he might regret.

The fact Lawrence had thought Ellie had set him up to fail was maybe what hurt the most, though. Ellie had wanted to ask him how he thought he’d be able to do that after everything they’d been through together. He’d tried to tell him he didn’t think it was possible for him to fail at something he shines at. He’d wanted to grab Lawrence’s pink fucking headpiece and bash him over the head with it until he realised that he’s Lawrence fucking Chaney, he is the Scottish drag queen. Lawrence is the one who will say something at a gig one week and it’ll be common drag parlance across the country by the next. Lawrence is the one getting booked by the BBC Social to make educational videos. Lawrence is the one on posters across Glasgow, for fuck’s sake.

Ellie might not have been thinking about the worst case scenario in that moment, but only because he genuinely didn’t think there could be one.

After all, he’d had his opportunity to sabotage Lawrence. Ellie remembers the first day when the producers had wanted to set up the Scottish queen rivalry, asked for something shady they could use as a soundbite. The way he’d sought out Lawrence on a smoke break and told him about the situation and reassured him that he hadn’t given them anything, and the way Lawrence had just smiled back at him, softly and genuinely, and told Ellie he’d done the same. The way they’d minutely linked pinkies together before breaking them and walking back inside as if they’d barely shared so much as a glance, neither of them wanting to draw any suspicion their way.

And he could’ve been harsher in that untucked if he’d wanted. Could’ve said how for someone that was meant to care so much about friendship and sisterhood, Lawrence had been doing a great job shitting on him from a great height about his lack of challenge wins and his run on the show.  

But he didn’t, because…well. He knows why.

Because the knowledge that he’d hurt Lawrence and lost his trust had done more damage than any joke Lawrence made at his expense could ever do.

Ellie goes live on the Tuesday afternoon. A comment on the chat reads, “are u A’whora and Lawrence still friends???”

“Yeah, me and A’whora are still friends!” Ellie bats the comment away with a fake smile.

He’ll blame his lack of comprehension skills if he’s asked about it.

I feel guilty, I feel nervous, I feel certain now

Maybe, maybe you can reach me

He doesn’t know what possesses him to do it.

Maybe it’s when he wakes up on Friday and Lawrence’s Twitter isn’t loading. Maybe it’s when he reads the other Scottish girls condemning the fans, the word fatphobia leaping out, grabbing Ellie’s heart and wrenching it tight.

Surely not this?

Ellie searches Twitter and what he finds makes him feel ill. He doesn’t know what he had expected- he’d known the frantic tweet urging the fans to be kind that he’d typed out before he went to sleep hadn’t exactly been going to create world peace overnight- but he hadn’t expected any of this. Everyone loves Lawrence, surely.

Although perhaps he’s just talking from experience.

Maybe it’s when he shoots Lawrence a message that goes unopened. In all honesty Ellie doesn’t blame him. A flimsy sentiment about hoping he’s okay that clocks in at under 250 characters isn’t going to cut it, and he’s grateful when Bimini, with all their empathy and ability to read a situation as clear as day, texts him and tells him that Lawrence has replied to them and he’s…well, he’s managing.

Maybe it’s when Ellie goes live with A’whora and he manages to mention Lawrence entirely too many times. A cry for attention or an old habit that’s dying hard? He can’t tell. Perhaps it’s both.

It’s definitely got something to do with the Facebook post.

Whatever it is, Ellie finds himself stuffing any old random items of clothing in a backpack and hoping it makes an outfit, shoving the spare key into the soil of the plant pot outside his front door and texting Anne to tell her where it is in case…fuck knows, the flat goes on fire while he’s away or something. He looks up the train times as he’s on his way to the station; a terrible decision, really, as when he’s still fifteen minutes away he discovers there’s one in ten. Somehow he manages to make it to the station with just a minute to spare and his heart lifts to find that the ticket barriers are open, so he dashes through them and hurtles onto the train that’s waiting at the platform. He catches his breath as he slumps into a table seat, having to take his mask off for a couple of seconds just so he can breathe properly. The way his heart is going at the rate the train’s about to isn’t helping.

The chimes of the train announcement cut through his attempts at slowing his heart down, and the little robotic woman’s voice confirms that his ridiculous, spur-of-the-moment decision is actually happening.

“This is Dundee. This train is for Glasgow Queen Street.”

Because this is all so last minute, but he needs to see Lawrence. He’s apologised probably ten times by now but he knows he needs to make it eleven. He knows (he hopes) that Lawrence needs that eleventh time too. He knows that Lawrence needs Ellie’s persistence, knows that it’s all just an attempt at self-preservation. Lawrence’s attempts at shutting Ellie out are just inviting him to bring a battering ram. At least, he hopes. But like A’whora had said…he’s worth the risk.

The train starts moving, and even if he wanted to back out now he couldn’t.

So cold at the surface, I’m scared of nothin’

Underneath, I’m nervous

Can you reach me?  

Ellie waits for the subway at Buchanan Street and his glazed-over eyes focus on a massive poster of Lawrence on the platform opposite. He briefly considers throwing himself under the next train.

The journey down had passed somehow in the blink of an eye and also agonisingly slowly. Too much time to sit and stare out of the window but not enough time to figure out what he’s going to say. He still doesn’t know. He’d said it all those months ago, he’s said it through texts and DMs. This time feels different, though. This time is different. This time there’s no cameras or runners or pink tables, or distance between them or tension at the fact nothing had aired yet.

It’s going to be the pair of them and Lawrence’s flat. Just like it’s been so many times before.

Ellie thinks he’ll probably just open his mouth, say whatever gets there first and hope it hits the right notes; a terrible decision arrived upon as a result of the lack of any other option. His mind is a messed up ball of television static, a knotted yarn of white noise that he can’t find the end of. He feels as if it’s made of the noise the train makes as it screams into the station, metal on metal and the low whoosh of the wind through the tunnel and the rickety shaking of the doors as they slide open and people stream off.

He picks up his bag and sinks down into the horrifically patterned upholstery of the seats, settling himself in for the journey. The little metal tin can of a train doesn’t take long to fire through the seven stops before Govan and with each one that passes Ellie can feel his nerves spiking and his mouth growing dry.

What if Lawrence isn’t even in? What if it’s all got too much and he’s gone back to Helensburgh for the foreseeable? Ellie could get a train up there, he supposes; he’s already on this side of the country, although he doesn’t know if Lawrence would appreciate the gesture or call the police on him.

Ellie concludes it would be worth it anyway.

He emerges from the Subway and the grey seems to hit him all over again, seeping into his clothes and forcing him to fight through the sadness that hits him like a wave. There’s a little beam of sunshine fighting to escape the clouds though, and Ellie hopes it’s some form of pathetic fallacy. Or whatever that one about the weather matching your feelings was. Fucked if he ever paid attention in Nat 5 English.

The streets of red brick tenements feel like pens of hostility as he passes windows that serve as frames for Union Jacks and Red Hand of Ulster flags. Even being raised in a Christian household doesn’t equip him to identify with this form of religion; where the disciples are football players and the gods are flags and the hymns are about killing Catholics. Ellie has always worried about Lawrence living here, told him as much, but he’s always been met with a bark of a laugh back and some comment about how he’s only saying that because he’s lived such a sheltered little life in Dundee and wouldn’t last five minutes trying to inhabit Glasgow and all its cheerful sectarianism. Lawrence has always had a very blythe attitude to the whole thing, and Ellie remembers when he’d held his hand on the way back from the Subway in full drag after a gig like it was nothing, the way some dick in an orange and blue scarf had shouted at them from across the street and Lawrence had just yelled back with an “awrite, babes?” as if he had a death wish.

Which is what makes this whole thing so grim. The Lawrence who drunkenly and sarcastically greets bigots at three in the morning from across the street doesn’t marry up with the Lawrence that’s holed up in his flat in the face of negativity. Ellie supposes that one homophobic Rangers fan is one homophobic Rangers fan, but Twitter can seem like the whole world’s population, and if Lawrence thinks the world hates him just because he’s reacted to something that was Ellie’s fault…

He feels his gut wrench.

Ellie turns into Lawrence’s street and feels ill. He could always go home. Turn and walk back to the Subway, train back to Queen Street, back to Dundee, back to the flat. Like nothing had ever happened. Like he hadn’t even consciously made the decision, like it was all a dream.

He sleepwalks to Lawrence’s close door anyway, just like he knew he would.

His hand shakes as he presses the buzzer too hard, and the panic rises in his throat as the seconds pass agonisingly slowly. When there’s a crackle from the intercom, he freezes in fear.

“Hello?”

It’s Kiko’s voice. Of course his flatmate had to be the one to answer, drag out the humiliation of the whole thing. Ellie can hear the shake to his voice as he replies.

“Hey, it’s Ellie.”

“…Ellie?”

He chooses to ignore the disbelief, acts as if it’s normal for him to have travelled across the country to turn up on Lawrence’s doorstep in the middle of a pandemic when there’s a travel ban in place. He’s considering this essential travel anyway.

“Is Lawrence in at all?”

Kiko, for her part, seems to pick up on the way the whole visit is masquerading as routine. In the split second before she replies, Ellie finds himself holding his breath. He steels himself, prepares for a “no, he’s actually…”, to send him back to Dundee like a crumpled sheet of paper tossed into a bin.

So Ellie feels like his throat’s going to close up when Kiko replies down the intercom. “Yeah, two secs. I’ll buzz you up.”

The dread settles in his gut like a weight as the buzzer rings out into the street, harsh and loud and doing nothing for Ellie’s derailed train of thought. He pushes on the door, takes his first step into the close and the echo seems to hit him deep in his chest. He finds himself wishing Lawrence lives four up but he’s only on the first floor, and as Ellie puts his foot on the first step of the staircase he keeps his eyes trained on the stairs because he knows the moment he looks up he’s going to see somebody standing there holding the door open and even though he’s had hours to prepare himself, weeks even, he’s not ready for that in the slightest.

And when he finally brings his gaze onto the front door with four steps to go, he’s not ready for the way the sight of Lawrence almost knocks him straight back down again. He’s slumped against the doorframe and has very clearly not slept- since when, Ellie couldn’t guess. A black hoodie is swamping him and a pair of navy sweatpants are doing the same, making him seem smaller than he already is. The sight of his hair up in that tiny bun hurts Ellie’s heart because it makes him want to smile, reminds him of the Lawrence he’d dick about in the workroom and the smoking area and the hotel corridors with before it all went so wrong. His arms are folded and he’s looking at the tiles on the landing floor until Ellie reaches the doorway, shifts awkwardly.

“Hi.”

Lawrence doesn’t quite meet his eyes. It’s a minute detail that hurts Ellie more than he would have expected. He doesn’t reply for a second, then seems to relent. “Hey.”

Another pause. The atmosphere makes Ellie wish he’d worn a thicker jacket.

“You’re not meant to be here, you know. Wee Nicky’s probably had snipers trained on you since you got off the train,” Lawrence says, delivering the quip with a bitter, barbed edge that makes Ellie think it’s less of a joke and more wishful thinking.

“Wouldn’t be any less than I deserve, I’m sure,” Ellie smiles sadly, unable to make it meet his eyes. Lawrence’s expression remains unimpressed.

“So why are you here, then,” he not so much as demands an answer but disinterestedly inquires. Ellie bites his bottom lip before he replies, as if he’s forcing himself to make sure his words are perfect.

“I just came down because…well, I wanted to see how you were. I know the past week must have been shit for you.”

Lawrence raises his eyebrows, his eyes growing wide as if to really drive home to Ellie how much of an understatement he already knows he’s made. “Yeah.”

Ellie sighs, wanting desperately to get the next part right. “And I felt like I needed to say I’m sorry. Y’know, in front of you.”

“You said sorry back when we filmed. We’re over it, it’s fine,” Lawrence says flatly, conveying that everything is not fine.

“It’s not fine, though. I wouldn’t have come down if it was fine. Things haven’t been fine since that day, and like…I miss you, Lawrence, I don’t want to lose you as a friend, or as a sister, or as…” Ellie stumbles, looking to the floor as he tries to articulate the other facet of their relationship. “…whatever else we are. Whatever else we were. I’m sorry for fucking everything up.”

There’s a silence in which the pair of them freeze and hold their breath. Time could very well be standing still for all Ellie knows. He immediately regrets bringing up all of…that. He should’ve kept it to friendship, shouldn’t have added anything on. Before he can overthink any more or begin to backtrack, a small sigh from Lawrence makes him look up.

“I thought you hated me,” he says. His voice is small and the words are unexpected. There’s so much Ellie could say in response. He settles on a joke.

“No, I think you’re a cunt. There’s a difference,” Ellie smiles tightly, the joke tentative. The snort it gets from Lawrence makes his smile grow without him being able to help it. “Was that a good one? Thought I was the unfunniest person on the planet?”

“We weren’t talking about your Bake Off improv,” Lawrence raises his eyebrows as he smirks, and Ellie fakes a wounded laugh.

“Shady cow.”

“I’m sorry,” Lawrence says out of nowhere, his smile gone all of a sudden.

Ellie tries to drag the joke out a little longer, hold onto the sparks they’ve just created. “Nah, it was shit, you’re right.”

“No, Ellie…” Lawrence shakes his head, worrying his lip between his teeth a little. “I am sorry.”

Ellie feels the panic wash over him when he clocks the glisten in his eyes. “It’s fine, girl.”

“It’s not fine. I was a dick to you so many times, no fuckin’ wonder I thought you’d set me up. I would too if I had somebody talking down to me like I did to you,” Lawrence says gravely. His gaze is fixed on his floor and just as Ellie is about to speak he catches sight of two tears that fall onto the red carpet, the darkness akin to blood. His horror grows as Lawrence finally snaps his head up, tears shining in his eyes as he sighs helplessly in a shaky voice. “You’re amazing, Ellie, you’re such a talent, and…fuck, I missed you.”

His words mean more to him that Ellie had expected them to. He doesn’t want to let that show, though, because that’s too much, that means too much for the situation just now and he can deal with that realisation at a later date. For now, Ellie points at him in mock-accusation. “Hey listen, I’m the one that got the train down to come and make a big speech to you and say sorry. Buy your own damn train ticket for that.”

Lawrence’s voice is thick with tears as he lets out a short laugh. “Sorry.”

“Wee bitch. Always have to make everything about you,” Ellie rolls his eyes, getting another teary laugh out of Lawrence and raising his hopes that maybe they’ll be okay.

And then the banks break and Lawrence makes a little choked-up noise, a sob that’s not fully a sob. His eyes meet Ellie’s and they’re full of so much sadness and regret that just looking at them creates a crack in Ellie’s heart, one that matches the crack in Lawrence’s voice as he speaks again.

“This has all been shit to do without you.”

Ellie doesn’t think before opening his arms out, shaking his head affectionately. “Don’t be silly. C’mere.”

When Lawrence immediately opens out his own and they meet each other in the middle and hug tightly, Ellie feels like a balloon that’s been let go and is floating up to the sky.

The clouds aren’t grey.

The way they’re holding each other brings back too many memories. Seeing each other at gigs and feeling butterflies take hold of his stomach. Coming off stage after a number and conveying his pride in him without even having to say a word. Saying goodbye at train stations with disappointment lodging itself in his heart. All the nostalgia makes Ellie want to cry, but he can’t start now. Instead, he breaths a shaky sigh, shakes his head before he speaks.

“You’ve always had me, okay? You’ve always got me. We’ve said sorry now, that’s the end of it. Periodt,” Ellie murmurs against his shoulder, adding on his trademark at the end. The laugh he gets muffled against his chest in return makes him feel lighter.

“I’ve not showered. I definitely stink. You don’t have to keep hugging me, you know.”

“You don’t. I want to,” Ellie says back. He means it.

It’s Lawrence that slides out of the hug first but he’s still standing close as he quickly wipes away his tears, looks Ellie up and down with a smirk on his face. “So where’s your Travelodge, hen?”

Ellie’s sheepish when he makes eye contact with him again, shrugs one strap of the rucksack off before replying. “You know damn well I’ve not booked anywhere.”

“Fuckin’ hell. Right, come on,” Lawrence shakes his head affectionately, stepping back into his hallway and letting Ellie finally cross the threshold to drop his bag like an anchor in the flat. It’s the physical manifestation of the burden finally being lifted off of him, the guilt and the regret melting away in favour of the flutter of his heart and a few small sparks that he wants to put in resin. “I get to choose the film later as reparations. Don’t trust you since you made us watch Cat In The Hat.”

Ellie gives a shocked gasp, genuinely offended. “It’s good!”

“Is it fuck. In fact, just for that I’m going to make you sit through something sci-fi and geeky and you’re gonna hate it,” Lawrence smiles with genuine glee, and Ellie can’t even bring himself to be mad about it. As the pair of them walk through to the living room, Lawrence jumps onto the sofa and fixes Ellie with a look that is clearly meant to be serious but that simultaneously Lawrence can’t commit to and Ellie can’t believe. “You’re sleeping here tonight, by the way.”

Ellie raises his eyebrows as he fakes his agreement, going along with the charade Lawrence is beginning. They both know they’ll end up curled up together on the sofa with neither of them having an explanation for how it’s happened, but at the same time knowing they don’t have to explain themselves. They know that Ellie will end up falling asleep slumped against Lawrence and that he’ll have to gently shake him awake, that he’ll wordlessly offer Ellie a hand to drag him off the couch with and that they’ll go through to Lawrence’s room like always. They know that they’ll wake up tangled together like the sheets and that Ellie will be there for him, that he’ll help Lawrence piece himself back together and they’ll go back to the start. Well, maybe not the start. Perhaps somewhere better.

Ellie keeps his friends close, but Lawrence is something a little bit more. Something a little bit closer.

Baby, you’re my enemy.

[return-of-a-space-cowboy]

I've finally written something, thank you all for your support, it means a lot.

Basically this little multi chapter story (another one) is loosely based off of the Beetlejuice movie.

Anyway hope you all enjoy

Man in the mirror pt1

(Yandere Illuso X Female Reader)

Warning: implied rape and mentions of rape.

Mentions of drug use

Grotesque living dead postman

Mention of you being slowly poisoned

You looked up in horror at your husband, Cristiano Angelo as he he gave you a crazed smile, you laid helpless beneath him.

"What did you do?" you choked out as you felt your body slowly shutting down.

"I'm sorry dear but I don't think our marriage can last..." He said in a coldly cruel tone.

"Why...?" You croaked as you felt the saliva dripping from your mouth.

"You see... I can't follow my dream with you pulling on my shoulder, I needed money and when I saw you in that little red dress and fancy diamonds I knew you were my ticket to wealth... So now that I have your money it only seems convenient for you to get some mysterious illness" he explained as he circled your body.

"You... You... Poisoned me for all this time?!" You gasped.

"A little rat poison here, a little rat poison there" he hummed.

"You won't get... Away with this" you mumbled as your vision began to double and your sense grew numb.

"I'm afraid I already have, nobody will be surprised when I tell them you passed away, sure they'll be sad but nobody would suspect the grieving Widower" he continued on and on but his voice turned to muffled groans and eventually white noise before you couldn't hear at all. You felt him grab your jeans and pull them down as he got on top of you. You knew what he was going to do, you just hoped you would just die already.

💔💔💔

You woke up lying on your bed, a sigh of relief escaped your lips. It had all been a horrible nightmare, you couldn't understand any reason why your husband would want to kill you.

You sat up from your bed and saw him getting into his work uniform.

"Good morning honey" you said as you got off of you bed and walked up to him but he didn't give you a response.

"You ok dear?" You asked but still not a word left his lips.

"Why are you ignoring?" You asked, no response as he headed to the doorway but you blocked him.

"Don't give me the silent treatment?! I won't let you just ignore me like this!" You yelled at him but he didn't stop, he just walked straight through you.

"What the?!" You exclaimed as you turned behind to see him walking down the stairs. You felt your body and it was solid, you were baffled as to what happened.

"Hey wait!" You yelled as you ran down the stairs and tried to grab his shoulder but your hand phased through him.

At that moment your existence shattered. Your eyes widened and your knees trembled as you felt an unbearable weight fall on top of you. It wasn't a dream... Your husband really had killed you. You were absolutely horrified, falling on your knees as your stomach twisted painfully. You wanted to cry so badly but no tears ever showed.

After minutes or even hours passed you stood up and slowly descended the staircase. In the entrance you saw various flowers and gifts litter the room. You peered through the window and saw your husband walking towards you vintage car before hopping in with a Cheshire grin like it was his property.

You felt you sadness boil into rage as you realised he had played with your heart and taken everything that you owned.

"I hate you... I hate you... I hate you" you muttered through gritting teeth. All of you love for him turned into hate. Your dead heart grew as poisonous as the very poison he had made you drink for months.

Your hate filled thoughts were soon interrupted by the sound of the tv being turned on before static blared at an ear piercing volume. You walked into the lounge room and saw the black and white pixels glitch across the screen before a loud beep erupted. You fell back in shock and covered your ears. Then a black and white count down screen played, like the ones in old  black and white cinema.

One the count down ended several panels were shown with a single letter on each.

I

L

L

U

S

O

Illuso as you could faintly remember from the little Italian you knew meant delude. You were confused yet you couldn't tear your eyes off the screen.

"Just say the name three times and all your afterlife worries will disappear" a calm masculine voice spoke as you saw tall man in a clean striped suit appear on screen. His red eyes glowed against the screen where everything else was displayed in a depressing monochrome. It was almost like he was looking straight at you as he pushed his one of his several ponytails over his shoulder.

"Illuso" you muttered so hopeful that the stranger on the tv could make your problems disappear.

"Illuso" you said again.

"Illus-" you were about to say before you saw a door appear in the wall. The TV quicky turned off as the door opened, to reveal a gruesome figure of buchered human flesh.

You let out a scream in horror in horror as they approached you.

"I told them I wasn't suited to this job..." A male's sigh came from the grotesque man said as he grabbed something from his bag, a large book.

"For you Mrs. Angelo" he said as he held out the book for you.

"I'm not Mrs Angelo anymore, Miss (l/n) would be more appropriate" you hissed as you snatched up the book from his mangled hand.

"Honeymoon phase over?" He asked.

"If you consider being slowly poisoned by the man you knew as your husband counts, then yes... It's more then over" you replied.

"That's harsh, if it makes you feel better I was drugged, raped and murdered by some guy I met at a bar" the ghostly corpse said in a sympathetic tone.

"Agh" you cringed.

"Well I best be going to deliver the rest of these books. Best of wishes, I'll be hoping that a lady such as yourself gets evaluated soon" he said as he made his way back to the door.

"What? What do you mean by evaluated?" You asked but he gave you no response as he left.

[koiyyo]

DRV3 “modern” MC server HCS!

something something chaotic this is DRV3 im sorry for all the mishaps im a mess tonight :pensive: - mod corn -by mod irusu, mod cass, mod dragon, mod corn, mod chie and mod kiwi 

shuichi  - probably lives in the end   - in an alliance with kaede and rantaro, they vibe  - part of the hunt to find where the hell kokichi’s base is  - kinda just vibes with rantaro and kaede, mostly just there  - terrible luck with diamonds, mostly its always lapis  - kaito gives him diamonds  - tried to pet kokichi’s dogs, kokichi hit him  - fears minecraft dogs to this day

maki  - runs an assassin business with peko  - her skins just black so she can blend in with the night  - the reason why kokichi never goes out in the daylight  - literally goes feral if someone uses her crafting table/furnace in her house  - always has a totem of undying? nobody has any clue where she got it   - watches out for kaito cause he’s a clueless old man

himiko  - cannot handle caves   - tenko has to come with her at all times  - “himiko what are you doing” -loud snoring-  - the one who’s always afk  - tries to sleep in the bed in the middle of the day  - makes potions but doesn’t sell them like mikan does  - “himiko why do you have a drinkable potion of harming”

kaede  - helps out anyone who’s new to the server  - very wholesome  - makes cookies for everyone  - does the shift + looking down thing a lot   - anytime she leaves a sign it has an emoticon  - “who took my cookies i’ll kill you >w<”  - probably has a bunch of cats named after music/piano stuff

rantaro  - says gg after dying from another player  - kinda just vibes with kaede and shuichi   - helps them make a farm mostly  - goes five blocks, gets lost  - needs a map on him at all times  - “guys idk where i am”  - the only one who knows where kokichi’s secret base is because one time he accidentally stumbled upon it

kirumi  - people ask her to make them a house a lot  - she always accepts  - basically a nomad  - does whatever anyone else asks  - has only killed ryoma once by hitting him bare fisted on one heart  - still apologizes to this day   - only goes into mine shafts to get rid of the cobwebs, leaves

ryoma  - made a tennis court in his house  - cold blooded murderer  - stalks people to try and get their supplies   - feels bad and gives them back  - “kirumi stop being nice it’s a free for all”

tenko  - has a small lesbian pin on her minecraft skin that nobody knows about  - goes with himiko into mineshafts  - kills all boys on sight  - constantly asks sakura to a “martial arts” rematch  - makes pixel art maps for every flag  - likes to put gay flags on unsuspecting victims’ houses  - “LMAO look himiko a gay” “tenko we’re gay”

angie  - made a temple in the server for atua  - forces everyone to go to said temple every sunday  - terrifyingly good at pvp  - like, really good  - REALLY GOOD    - has literally all the variants of minecraft paintings in her house  - has a treehouse cause “it’s closer to atua amen”

kiyo  - summons the wither constantly and joins forces with it  - way too obsessed with enderman, literally has them in his house for anything to come in and look at  - slays the ender dragon in a matter of two minutes, everyone is afraid  - constantly whispers about dissecting everyone and making clothes out of their skin whenever he is killed in pvp  - has a cool ass house tho no cap  - lowkey wants to live in the end

gonta  - makes a massive bee themed house with help from Shuichi   - doesn’t kill anyone because gonta is gentleman  - unless someone touches his bees  - big farm, kokichi destroyed it once and gonta cried  - likes to cook things for people that stumble upon his house

miu  - has a naked women skin on and says “dam this girl is flatter than kaede”  - makes everyone uncomfortable when in her minecraft house  - makes a fuck ton of hoes and just says “GUYS I MUST BE KAITO RIGHT NOW BECAUSE IM SURROUNDED BY HOES” despite it making no sense  - walked up to kokichi with a bowl and said “hey man i found your dildo”  - framed teruteru for putting a strip pole in the music venue, but she secretly did it  - constantly spamming shift and looking up

kaito  - has a bunch of moon paintings in his house  - beats the shit out of kokichi when he burns his house down  - puts lava in his house and forgets about it, then dies from it.  - the guy who has to help rantaro out  - probably a minecraft veteran  - went in creative and tried to fly up to the stars  - chiaki set him in survival just as he reached block limit

kokichi  - chaotic evil  - has a huge hidden base hidden underground, literally nobody knows where it is  - burns people’s houses down  - really fucking bad at pvp so whenever he sees someone else he books it   - kills gontas bees constantly  - people call him “the pvp pigeon” because he basically scatters whenever you  go near him in pvp  - “if u press q with a pickaxe over lava, it gives u a secret buff”  - has essentially committed tax fraud in mc

tsumugi  - only uses naruto skins  - scarily good at minecraft mazes  - death stares kokichi when he says anything negative about her minecraft skin  - has a bunch of diamond hoes for no reason  - constantly tries to make anime statues at spawn  - kokichi always burns them

keebo  - doesn't understand how to play minecraft  - kokichi bullies him about it   - “HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW TO PLAY?”  - he has pet chickens and names them after miu’s favourite things  - “this is keebo, my pet chicken!”  - always forgets how to open inventory and has to get help  - kokichi told him to press q once and then stole the item keebo dropped BWAHh finally done this was rlly fun to do!! ty again to that anon for the request <3<3 - mod corn

[atopearth]

Final Fantasy VII Remake Part 1 - Avalanche, Flower Girl & Childhood Friend (CH 1-8)

The long awaited remake!! Jessie is sooo pretty btw, I love it! I’ve always liked Jessie since the original because of how nice she was to Cloud, so it’s nice to see that they put so much effort into her looks. Biggs looks pretty cool too, but he’s such a silly guy haha. Most of the first chapter was pretty much like the demo so nothing much to say about it besides that I like the Japanese dub much more than the English haha. Btw, I’m playing on normal mode~ Barret is so aggressive and a bit annoying now that you can hear him though LOL. I have to say though, the camera is soo annoying in this game lol, it frustrates me so much. And the boss in the reactor has so much life, it was a tiring battle lol. Otherwise, great nostalgia! I still remember so well in the original when Jessie gets her leg stuck and you have to free her~ In the original, you kinda had to go to her to yourself, whereas in this remake, they force you into the scene of freeing her which is good!! Because lmao, I legit didn’t realise she was stuck in the original game and totally ignored her and went back up the elevator, and what happened?! I was stuck and couldn’t get out of the reactor without her, and I couldn’t go back to save her because it didn’t let me backtrack!! So yes, nice memories, I felt so bad though, I legit left her there to die LOL. Anyway, despite Heidegger and them contributing to the destruction of the sector, it is true that it was because of Avalanche’s actions that made all these people die or get injured, since Heidegger probably wants to pin on them how much of a terrorist they are to the masses.

Sephiroth appearing is so awkward btw, but I think what irks me is that the menacing part of him isn’t shown very well. Doesn’t help that Those Chosen By the Planet (what I think to be Sephiroth’s theme) doesn’t have the same threatening feel to it imo. Aww I felt like the train scene with Barret shooing off the Shinra people was done more seriously than the original, and I feel like it also shows how rash and sometimes naive the Avalanche group is. I felt like the scene was funnier in the original because Barret was being aggressive and scared them away lol. Anyway, not sure what those things flying around Aerith are (dementorssss!), but nice flower lol. I found it sooo cuteee how Cloud so naturally gave the flower to Tifa though, like dang, my heart swooned! Tifa is so beautiful btw~ Interesting that she rented a room for Cloud, guess it was unnecessary in the original since you’re running around everywhere already, whereas in the remake, Cloud is going to be earning money joining the neighbourhood watch (killing monsters) and doing odd jobs haha. Honestly though, seeing Barret dote on Marlene was so sweet, I always found it heartwarming how much he loved and cherished her. Lmao when she ran away from Cloud since he was a “stranger” lol. Nice to see all these different materia though, looks like it’ll be fun to try them!

Okay, the side quests were pretty useless but I guess it helped to gain experience and get me used to the combat system a bit more. Honestly though, playing as Tifa is much more fun than Cloud haha. Doesn’t help that Tifa is such a cute beauty~ Am I the only weirdo taking non-stop screenshots of her because she looks so good in every angle? LOL. When Tifa asked what kind of clothing suits her best, I wasn’t really sure, but I guess I would like to see something mature haha. I can see why Tifa would have doubts about what Avalanche is doing though. I mean, sure she agrees with their ideals and goals, but the way they’re doing it isn’t exactly the “best” way to do it since it involves a lot of casualties. So, I’m kinda glad that Cloud kinda advised her in his own way that she should really follow her heart and to not do it if she isn’t able to. Oh and that darts game at Seventh Heaven? Yeah, I sucked at it LOL. Anyway! Jessie feeling bad about the bomb she made causing such unprecedented destruction on the city is understandable, so going to grab a weaker reagent is something she’d do. Nice that she got Cloud to come along with her, but it was also pretty cute that Biggs and Wedge kinda knew what she was up to. Didn’t think about the idea of the Avalanche members having families, so knowing that Jessie seems to have a warm family that would turn on the light every night waiting for her to come home is kinda sweet yet saddening. On the other hand, that motorcycle chase lmao, I was so terrible at it, I legit nearly died hahaaha. Roche was a crazy guy man, it felt so difficult to catch up to him and deal some damage lol. Like how does he do all these crazy stuff with the motorcycle?! Honestly, it makes me think of a motorcycle version of SSX (that snowboarding game where you do tricks) because, I’m surprised he and his bike are intact lol.  Although, in a sense, it did seem easier than the original game though, I mean, I used to legit miss the targets reallyyyyyy badly in the original hahahah. But yeah, it was nice to have that mini game I guess, I just didn’t expect it right now lol. BUT, the highlight of the motorcycle chase here was definitely Jessie hugging Cloud from behind on the motorcycle and feeling so comfortable and safe with him around. I honestly felt it, but then again, who wouldn’t feel safe with Cloud?! He’s so reliable and cool!

Honestly, I never would have thought Jessie would be an actress at the Gold Saucer! That’s an interesting back story. Kinda saddening though, that when she finally got a starring role, her dad collapsed in a Mako storage (since he was a maintenance supervisor for Shinra) for half a day and got Mako poisoning, so now he’s in a comatose state. I guess it’s understandable how one thing led to another for Jessie to join Avalanche, but I feel devastated for the mother. It’s a tough life but there’s still the hope and happiness of seeing Jessie return home when she can, but…that’s not going to happen forever.. Well, well, that diversion Cloud had to do alongside Biggs and Wedge was not fun! But it was cool to see Ifrit haha. Honestly think the highlight was seeing Cloud warm up to Biggs and Wedge after this little mission, not only did he get to see that Wedge is willing to put his life on the line for Cloud even though they just hired him for these missions, he also got to see how passionate they are about their reasons for being in Avalanche. They really should count themselves lucky that another sub group of Avalanche was there to bail them out though! Anyway, Cloud smiling was so cute. Lmao when Wedge called Cloud “aniki” after the mission hahahah, it’s so adorable. I love how Cloud tells Wedge not to call him that every time he does it hahaha. And it was so cuteee when Cloud quietly said he hopes Jessie’s dad will get better soon, he cares!! It’s so sweet! 

Oh, btw LOL at the random grandma that noticed all the commotion from Cloud/Avalanche and thought it was Wutai attacking Shinra again, so she said she’d join in since she used to fight against them when she was young loll, chill grandma!! It’s quite cute how Biggs and Wedge can tell that Jessie is interested in Cloud, so sweet how they look out for Cloud instead and say she’s not serious though hahaha. Omggg, Jessie giving him a hug as extra payment for helping out on the mission was so cuteeee, I love her. She’s so forward and honest, but so cuteee. I loved how she said she’d make pizza for him. Biggs overthinking was really adorable, but Cloud telling him to prioritise resting up for tomorrow was nice to see. He has such a soft spot for them all now, it’s so heartwarming. It was so considerate and kind of Cloud to offer to listen to Tifa’s worries, I loved how casually he said it.

No idea what those spectres are, but OMG!! CLOUD PRINCESS CARRYING JESSIE?! Yes, my heart squealed🥺🥺🥺 That Shinra Middle Manager guy on the train is so passionate and loyal to them, it’s pretty admirable tbh. He’s obviously scared of Barret but he’s unafraid to voice his opinions and views to him, Shinra sure has passionate workers. I loved the jumping out of the train part!! Cloud held Tifa close and protected her🥰 On the other hand, I really didn’t need the corny part where the Shinra Middle Manager was shocked that Barret and them would protect the others on the train though, I think if we just see him being impressed and kinda acknowledging them, it would have been fine lol. Anyway, is it just me or are the normal monsters harder than the bosses?! Like seriously lol! Or maybe I’m just too reckless tbh because I legit just roll around and attack hahahah. Yes, that’s how I roll. Oh btw, I forgot to say, but I’m kinda sad that we never got to go downstairs at Seventh Heaven!! That’s like my favourite part! I loved the interactions between everyone at Avalanche there, oh well I guess… We kinda got the interactions through Jessie’s story instead I guess.

Going through Sector 5 was legit tedious lol, but it was cool to see holograms of the President and Heidegger, and the boss!! I’m not sure if I really weakened the boss by taking away the right stuff, but I just kinda took all the big bombs and some programming cores and it was relatively easy. Btw cowboy Tifa is adorableee! Aerith and Cloud reuniting at the church and squashing his flowers wasn’t as magical as it felt in the original imo (even though it was HD T_T). And I also feel like Aerith was more cooler in the original in my memory haha. Reno definitely looks better as a bunch of pixels than in HD LOL, I’m sorry Reno, you’re my favourite boy ever in FFVII but I hate his close up look here hahaha. Although I think it’s mainly because his open shirt look is very...ugly LOL. Make him cool not tacky! The Turks theme wasn’t as clicky sounding(?) as well so I think it kinda lost how cool the soundtrack was imo, but oh well~ And dang, I legit found the battle so difficult with him hahahah, I probably should have used more magic etc to deal with him but far out, his lightning attacks lol. I’m kinda sad they kicked out rolling the barrels to save Aerith from the Shinra soldiers though, I used to just let Aerith fight them, and I think it would have been cool if they let Aerith fight them, since it kinda showed that even though Aerith is physically weak, she’s still got a lot of guts and resolve to fight against people stronger than her imo. Instead, we get that stupid chandelier thing and the hand bars that had superrr clunky controls, it wasn’t fun at all! 

Cloud and Aerith talking and bonding throughout their little trip on the rooftops to escape was cute, I love how she answered that the Turks might have been after her because she would be a great SOLDIER candidate (since the work Turks does includes scouting for SOLDIER) hahaha. The princess carry Cloud did to catch Aerith when she fell was cute, but it was done so purposefully that I couldn’t like it as much as I wanted, Jessie’s one was much more natural and sweet. But it’s Aerith so I’ll take it, because dang is it beautiful~~ I wish they showed how Aerith was trying really hard to catch up to Cloud and was like out of breath by the time they got to the sector lol, I found that cute in the original. Anyway, I also miss Aerith using her staff to smack monsters, the sound was so iconic lmao. I guess it’s understandable that they changed her skillset to be shooting magic out of her staff but still🥺 Rude on the other hand looks pretty cool! I wonder if they’ll mention how he likes Tifa and they’ll add it into the battles so that he won’t attack her hahaha. Oh yeah, forgot to mention it, but did Cloud see Aerith die in those visions he had? Not sure if I’m into how it’s all going right now, but hmm kinda weird.

Elmyra doesn’t look as gentle as she did in the original, kinda sad~~ But I still think it’s hilarious how pushy Aerith is and how much she does things at her own pace lol. I hope we get to do the tiptoe thing at night like in the original where Cloud tries to run off in the middle of the night when she forces him to stay at her house for the night haahha. Shiva was pretty easy! I’m proud of myself hehe! Legit just Fira her to death until I could summon etc hahaha. Not sure how I feel about that intern being able to make summon materia though, I always felt like summons were spirits of nature that you kinda make a contract with, so artificially creating them feels weird. I honestly feel like more effort was put into Tifa than Aerith when it comes to the expressions and their faces imo. I always imagined Aerith to look very energetic, happy and kind, but in a lot of the scenes, her face looks very stern and you can’t see the kindness in her eyes, whereas with Tifa, there’s lots of details in every expression she makes. Sigh, it’s pretty saddening since Aerith is my favourite girl… Btw lmao at the Leaf House drawings of the cactuar, tonberry, chocobo and moogle hahaha, so cute but ugly lmaoo. Hahahaha there’s such a thing as fat Chocobo candy🤣🤣🤣 Moggie is weirdddd looking lol, did not expect that. Whack-a-box was a pretty boring game tbh, Gunners Gauntlet in FFX-2 is way better imo. Maybe there might be more stages later? I do appreciate how easy it was to get 30,000 points though haha, I’m still salty over the jump rope in FFIX lmao, no way could I ever do more than 50 of those jumps hahaha. Okay, don’t judge me, but I farmed moogle medals with the game by leaving it on while I played other games on my phone lmao. Man, those side quests were difficult to do with Aerith, I really hate her skillset right now lolll. I guess that’s normal though? Since, in the original, I found this part really difficult at times because she was so weak lmaoo. The fight with Rude was much easier than with Reno though! Maybe it’s because Aerith was there just to heal me hahaha. Anyway, I really like how careful and protective Rude and Reno are with Aerith. I feel like you can feel that a lot of it is related to their work as the Turks, but at the same time, they honestly feel that Aerith should take care of herself better by not running around so much lol. Btw lmao at Cloud carrying that flower basket hahaha. When Aerith was talking to the flowers and saying that they don’t respond to her no matter how much she talks to them, I found it really cute that before they left, Cloud asked to the flowers to respond to her some time since she’s so sincere haha. Cloud is such a big softie, it’s adorable. Just saying, but Aerith running up the stairs to clean the guest room for Cloud was so cute, I’m dying. Cloud’s mum looks pretty! Lmao, the tiptoeing out of the house is actually hilarious. I just took one step and hit a bucket and it made the loudest noise ever hahahaah, of course Aerith could hear! Lmao, I failed twice and they removed the buckets so you don’t need to dodge anything hahahha. I’m sorry I suck okay?! Although I always found it hilarious in the original that you can actually see Aerith jump out of bed and run super fast to push you back into your room hahaha.  I’ve always loved how Aerith pops out and surprises Cloud that she noticed him leaving without her. Does Cloud’s tears mean subconsciously he remembers her death? Is this FFVII 2.0? A sequel? Are we reliving FFVII alternate universe so we can save Aerith this time?

Overall, the remake has been relatively fun so far. The camera is rather clunky at times but it’s okay I guess. The story is pretty linear and won’t let me walk around and explore unless it wants me to though, I swear that warning sign is so obnoxious I want to punch it! So yeah, it can be rather frustrating when I’m looking for treasure chests, like I’m constantly being called out for going to the wrong way hahaha. Let me live my life, guys! Everything looks great and I really enjoyed the extra bits with Jessie tbh, I think that was my highlight for these 8 chapters haha. I hope everything will continue to be as beautiful and interesting. I’m not a fan of the soundtrack though, it feels a little too electric? Techno? I don’t know how to describe it but it feels weird haha. Also weird to see/hear different theme songs and stuff at vending machines, because it just..doesn’t suit the atmosphere lol, anyway I’m just picky, it’s still cool. I really like Jessie’s Theme though!

But yeah, I really loved that the remake added the part where they go to back to Jessie’s home etc. I found it really sweet and comforting to see that Jessie had a family, and that Biggs and Wedge got along with her mother so well. I think the extra bonding and interactions between Avalanche and Cloud will really make the lost of them that more painful and dramatic. I think some people think Jessie seems too “thirsty”, but I think she’s great because of how forward she is, and how subtle but also honest she is about her feelings. She’s never completely direct about it, but she’s obviously attracted to Cloud and I think it’s really cute, mainly because she can see how cold he may be on the surface, but also how soft he is on the inside. I think my favourite moment with her was when she hugged Cloud on the motorbike so comfortably, it honestly felt like (from her perspective) that she found someone she could really rely on and believe in when she’s in trouble and I thought that was really heartwarming. Otherwise, wow, the shipping with Cloud and the girls is SO STRONG, I’m starting to think it’s a visual novel where I can pick the girl I like lmao. Honestly though, you can tell how much it’s catering to older fans who love the girls. The fanservice is blatant! But it makes for great screenshots so yay~! But seriously, the dementors and Sephiroth appear too much, it’s frustrating, especially the ghosts/spectres.

[speckledbears]

Thoughts on “Far From Home”

SPOILERS FOR “Spider-Man: Far From Home”!!!!

this is for you anon

ok so basically i thought that it would have been good if it wasn’t a Spider-Man (“children’s”) movie.

Like, I think Quentin (Jake G) was such an interesting character, and an amazing villain but, I hated that his entire reason was because he wanted to be the New Iron Man. It bugs me to NO END that THATS the reason. Tony stole the projector tech he made, made fun of him (even if the audience didn’t know), and fired him. I think that’s a much better reason than wanting to be the next Annoying, Mean, Rich Rich Rich So Fucking Rich Metal Guy. The tech was so fucking cool? Like, projectors that seemed so lifelike,,, that’s so cool (also i kinda feel like you could relate it to how disney is only using GCI now but the russos are dumbasses). And like, the story Quentin and his team put together for Mysterio, and all the planning and the production value (if you can call it that lol) was so interesting and I was so intrigued. If there was a movie for him, and he didn’t fucking suck, I would pay to see it. His issue is that he’s so hellbent on killing Peter, MJ and Ned that I was put-off from like, half the movie. It’s kinda terrifying that someone can say, “I’ll just have to kill the kids myself,” and NO ONE IS CONCERNED??? And the fact that he was willing to kill innocent civilians just to make headlines, that’s fucked (and modern). Also, I think the directors missed out on a big opportunity for Peter to have a new father figure. Peter looked up to Quentin, trusted him, seeked him out for advice, like he would a father. I don’t remember him ever doing that with Tony. Peter was always too worried he was bothering him, and Tony seemed to brush him off a lot. Sure, Tony picked him and placed so much faith in him but, in the end? I feel Peter became more of a toy for the Avengers than an actual team member. If Quentin had been a good guy, doing this shit for the “right reasons” (idk like, taking the burden of becoming Iron Man off Peter, and maybe mentoring him) he could’ve been AMAZING. I still love him (except his dumb reasons) but, y’all missed out!!!!

Next: The whole deal with Peter being chosen by Tony to be the next Iron Man. Fucking hate that shit!!!!! Peter is a CHILD, he’s 16, and obviously he’s not ready for that responsibility!!!! In the movie, he’s manipulated by Quentin (which i lowkey also hate and explained above) and he just!!! gave EDITH to him!!!!! He’s a good kid, but not mature or responsible enough to handle having access to that kind of tech. I mean, dude almost killed a classmate?? Literally called a drone strike on the kid, couldn’t figure out how to cancel it, and destroyed the drone himself. Let’s not forget that this responsibility was FORCED ON HIM BY TONY???? Like, there was this scene where Peter literally told Quentin that he didn’t want EDITH!!! He didn’t want that kind of responsibility that came with being Iron Man!!! All he wanted for the summer was to hang out with his friends and kiss the girl he likes!!! Peter just wanted to be a normal child for one summer and, apparently, that was too much to ask for. Also, in the scene where Happy and Peter are in the jet talking about Tony, Peter says that he doesn’t know if he can be the new Iron Man. Happy doesn’t even hesitate when he says, “No, you can’t. No one can replace him.” Like hello!!!! And then they immediately forget that little nugget of wisdom, and Peter starts playing with Tony’s tech and literally everyone with eyes can draw the parallels between Peter and Tony. It’s frustrating. I hated how Tony was treated after his death. I completely understand mourning a character, especially one as important as Tony Stark, but it didn’t feel like mourning. It felt like worshipping. Tony had become a martyr, and he fucking knew it (EDITH = Even Dead, I’m The Hero 🙄) and people are still licking his boots. It’s just so weird that, even though he’s supposed to be dead, he’s still a main character and RDJ isn’t even in the movie!!!!!!!! When a character dies, that’s it, they can’t directly influence the story anymore, and yet Tony is still the reason for everything Peter does? He doesn’t have his own initiative. He lived and breathed in Tony’s shadow, and he’ll live in it forever. He’s being forced to become the next Iron Man. And believe me, I love Tony. I grew up watching the “Iron Man” movies with my parents and brother, and I remember watching one in the theatre and laughing till I cried. Guys! He’s dead! He’s done more than enough! It’s Spider-Man’s turn now.

I really hated Nick Fury in this movie. I grew up watching the OG Marvel movies and I loved Nick, but holy fuck. This dude hounded Peter, a CHILD, for help against those Elementals when he could’ve literally asked anyone else (side note: he shot Ned with a tranquilizer dart like? dude he’s a child calm down-). He gave a shit ton of excuses for why he couldn’t get in contact with the other Avengers but, I call bullshit. This dude is like, one of the most powerful men in the world (Quentin’s words, but it’s also been proven in other movies). He managed to track down Peter, how is it THAT HARD for him to find an adult??? Then he hijacked the school trip so that Peter would be in Prague, and he KNEW that once Peter was there he would help. It’s manipulation. Never mind the scene like, 5 mins later where Peter says he’s worried about his friends getting hurt (and having EDITH but not really understanding her), and Nick exploded on him. LIKE DUDE??? he’s a child. I’m also super pissed off at the fact that Nick manipulated Peter using his Avenger status. OOOOHHHH you whore!!! Literally everyone knows that Peter loved Tony (🙄🙄) and he used him against Peter! ASK AN ADULT FOR HELP YOU HAVE AN ENTIRE TEAM OF THEM????? Oh also, the bitch KNEW Quentin was evil. There’s a scene that proves it. It’s right after their first meeting where Peter says no, and leaves. Nick and Maria (the brunette lady hes always with, im surprised i remembered her name) share a knowing glance. They fucking KNOW. And yet?? They let Quentin do whatever the hell he wants?? He literally tried to kill 3 teenagers, and planned to kill hundreds of civilians in London (and i’m not sure if anyone did get hurt or died but, i wouldn’t be surprised). But the most powerful man in the world can’t stop him, apparently. He wants a 16-year-old CHILD to do it for him. It’s ridiculous!

The romance was also a bit hit-or-miss for me. Like, Ned and Betty?? It felt so forced and contrived? It literally only existed so that MJ could take Ned’s place. Y’all notice that Ned basically ditched his best friend for the entire movie for some girl he barely knows? Also, the fact that they “fell in love” on an eight hour flight. Hate that. It’s such a trope and it’s ugly. The romance with Happy and May was kinda weird, too? I mean, I don’t know their past together. I didn’t watch “Infinty War” or “Endgame” but, it also felt forced. Especially at the end, when Peter asked if they were dating!! May said no and Happy said yes!! I’m assuming that’s supposed to be comedy?? ig??? Anyway, I didn’t really like the romantic rivalry between Brad and Peter? (btw no shit i almost called peter “tony” i’m telling y’all they’re synonymous now). Like, Brad’s logic in using the photo of Peter stripping to “expose the truth” about Peter to MJ was so weird and awkward? The entire scene felt forced and I was so uncomfortable watching it. Also, MJ would’ve stuck up for Peter anyway, so it didn’t even matter, and the rivalry was dropped so easily after the opera in Prague. I did actually like the romance between Peter and MJ, even though I wasn’t expecting to. It’s a bit weird how quickly he got over Liz, but whatever; he’s a teenager. (I was going to comment on the necklace thing but, that’s actually kind of in character for him so, y’all get ONE (1) pass). I thought their hug and kiss at the end of the battle with Quentin was super fucking sweet and innocent, and it was refreshing compared to most teen romance movies where they act like adults instead. I was in LOVE with that scene, and it was one of the only scenes I honestly loved.

Ok, I wanna go back to Quentin for a bit. This dude absolutely destroyed the Peter Parker we were given in HOCO, and at the beginning of the movie. Yeah, Tony already had him as a puppet, but Quentin took his innocence. Y’all saw how easily Peter trusted people before him!! Like?? When he found out Quentin manipulated him, he lost almost all his faith in other people, except for MJ and Ned. For example, the scene where Peter calls Happy to pick him up because he’s in a holding cell in the Netherlands? Love that scene BUT! As he’s limping over to Happy, so obviously fucked up and hurting, he makes Happy prove it’s really him. THAT FUCKING HURT LMAO!!!!! I hated that. And that last battle with Quentin on the bridge? He maneuvered so easily through the drones, it was impressive, and he’d only fought against them once before (seems impossible but whatever). And watching the projections dissolve away into just pixels and a scared little bitch in a fish bowl helmet? Classic Theatre. But, he was traumatized by previous experiences fighting Quentin. Peter’s growth made the movie good but, his loss of innocence really made this movie kinda suck. Sure, his innocence still there—the scenes later with MJ prove that—but he’s still lost his easy trust in other people. It hurt to see. And, like, I’m not saying he can’t be more mature but, he didn’t even trust Happy!! He’s so paranoid that he’ll find his loved ones replaced by Quentin’s illusions!! It sucks!!!! Peter isn’t Peter without that sense of childlike wonder, curiosity, and helpless faith in others.

Anyway, I wanna talk about that Netherlands scene again because, holy shit, I loved it. After Peter was hit by that train (i actually screamed but the cinematography inside the train? *kiss*), he wakes up in some holding cell in the Netherlands with a band of friendly locals, and the guard, who’s talking on the phone with his pregnant wife. I don’t know why but, that scene was one of the first to make me smile? Like, it was so sweet how the other men were so happy for the guard and his wife, how they gave Peter a spare shirt because he looked cold, how Peter just broke the lock and left? How the guard was wearing Peter’s mask???? I’m in love. The next scene I liked was literally right after, of Peter limping through the tulip field, and Happy landing the jet nearby. Without dialogue, that scene is so pretty?? The petals stirring in the wave the jet left as it landed?? The HUG???? UGH! I fell in love. Another scene I loved was the scene when Peter went to Berlin to meet with Nick Fury and Quentin manipulated it with the projection technology. Even though I knew it was fake, I was worried about what was going on outside the projection (he got hit by a fucking train so,,,,,, iwas right to be worried-). Watching Peter so helpless and trying to stay vigilant was so heartbreaking, yet I was lowkey impressed. Like? How many other mean ass men could pull that off? None, next question. I can’t even think about how to explain it. I watched that scene at least 3 times, and was amazed every time, my only thoughts anxiety for Peter.

Okay, lastly, I wanna talk about the tech. I thought it was so interesting and unique. Like, I’ve played with the idea of projection in stories, or with characters as magic but, never considered applying it through technology, especially tech as capable as it is. And every scene where the projections were being used were amazing. I mean, obviously it’s CGI, but in the context of the MCU, it’s so interesting and cool to see tech like that used in a very public way. And no one knew!!! The whole system (along with Quentin and his team) was so good at camouflaging that I was fooled at the beginning of the movie. I seriously believed in the Elementals and Mysterio’s ruined Earth. It’s part of the reason I really enjoyed his character. And, like I said earlier, Peter was fooled by it too; everyone was. He learned it, eventually. But not before Quentin could manipulate the situation one last time and claim Peter called the drone attacks on London, and revealed his identity.

All in all, I didn’t have fun watching “Far From Home,” and it’s mainly because it didn’t feel like a Spider-Man movie. I enjoyed “Homecoming,” so much more. The villain was far more relatable (even though you could see it as demonizing the poor), Ned and Peter’s friendship was so wholesome and sweet, the entire cast was fun, and it was more enjoyable than watching some angry rich white man trying to kill children so he can get richer.