#whew I really needed to share my thoughts somewhere

[louroth]

Well, well, well. Would you look at what the cat dragged in. (it's me, Lou!)

The time is here, and oh man, do I have a lot to say! Ever since this post was posted on my personal tumblr, on the fifth of may, I have been working like a machine on all things OUROBOROS. I had originally planned for this to just be a progress report/ announcement on what I will be working on now that I am free of the shackles of work, but, somehow, I managed to finish all bullet points, and more. So, let's get into it!

First off, the title.  Ouroboros becomes all capitalized OUROBOROS. Idk. It's neat. Next!

Art. Whew. I didn't think I could draw like this anymore- drawing has been more of a struggle than writing has been, forever, always- it was something I really strived to become good at, for a time. And I gave up. Only to pick it up again when I started ouro, and ever since I released that pressure, something just clicked and I have been churning out art like never before. I don't know if this is a fluke, a stroke of luck or if all that hard work I once did slaving away with menial art practice… but I'm grateful nonetheless. (A note on official RO art: I lost my ipad pencil somewhere on the lawn, lmao. I haven't been able to get a new one yet, so there is a slight delay here.) I am hoping that I get to make some commissions too, in the near future. Visit the forum to see some works in progress (amongst them, Yor's RO portrait!)

Onto the hellscape that is coding! I have been growing more proficient with CSS and html with the help of the ones that run so that we can walk; I have studied and researched and tested and tinkered until my eyes crossed, finding my way into this medium with the incredible guidance of the giants of whose shoulders I stand on. I will talk about this in detail on a later date. So I think it's finally time to reveal that yes, I am working on a twine version of ouro. I will develop it in tandem with choicescript; the porting over from one to the other isn't the herculean task I thought it would be.

Why am I doing this? Because I need to have a save system. I am continuing to write the whole alpha draft in choicescript in hopes that CoG will announce the ability to have a native save/checkpoint system, but if that doesn’t happen, I can’t publish this story without one. Unfortunately, I am not willing to code in a savesystem in choicescript myself, because this will be a large game, with far too many variables for that to be sustainable. Trust me, no one is more disappointed by that fact than me. If it comes to the point that twine publishing will be what I do, I will set my sights on writing a smaller game for hosted games. 

Now the meatier announcements!

New Socials!

Tumblr: You are looking at it!  This is the new, exclusively OUROBOROS blog where I will share all announcements and sneak-peeks, and future updates. I worked together with the dev of the theme and made it oh, so pretty and functional. Please check out their portfolio here, if you are ever in the market for sprucing up your (desktop version) of tumblr. They were a pleasure to work with. Amongst other things, it has a gorgeous header (again, only if you visit on web and not mobile) where I am showcasing fanart and official art. Go check it out! This month, I am showcasing a truly breathtaking art from KAIRELART, and you can find the full art here, or follow the links in the “FEATURED ARTIST” tab in the top bar.

I hope you enjoy this new haven for OUROBOROS! I will be answering questions once a week (saturday) and ramping up as I adapt to this new schedule, more on that further below.

My old tumblr, honeypeabrain, will revert back to being my personal blog. Feel free to keep following me there, but know that it will be inundated with shitposts, crass humor and the occasional poetry dump and personal post. You’ve been warned!

Discord!

By the good graces, this was ROUGH to set up. Working with discord bots is akin to wrangling code, and it was well and truly, a war. But with the help of many, it is finally all done and ready for anyone to join and talk to me and others about OUROBOROS and anything else between heaven and earth. 

I will also greatly appreciate if any future bugs and feedback are submitted through here, so I can keep easier track of it. Come join us! (18+ ONLY.)

Patreon & Ko-Fi

Yep! Ko-fi is just a place to toss me a coin if you wish to help me towards the goal of new PC parts to make testing easier, or to just show appreciation for those that have it to spare. Patreon however, already has a multitude of posts and will be a hub for exclusive NSFW sidestories that you get to vote on, loredives and extensive sneak peeks, Q&A’s, polls and weekly dev logs. 

Right now, there are only two tiers, but I expect it to grow as my story does. I have many plans, but I am going at a steady pace. 

Amongst tiered content, there is a (free) NSFW story with female MC and Idren to read there right now, if you want to check it out! I am mgoing to post it on tumblr and the adult thread here over the weekend.

NOTE: I stupidly didn't realize that patreon had a review process after I pressed launch, which I did just a few minutes ago. Sigh. I am going to post the short on tumblr and the adult forum thread as soon as I get to it.

It is not mandatory by any means, so if you do choose to support me, you have my eternal gratitude as these places will be the sole source of income for me.

Onto writing:

The best news out of this whole bunch is that I have worked so hard on editing and writing, that in the past month I have all but finished a two chapter update! I have a chunk of about 5-6 thousand words left to write, and I am going to buckle down over the weekend to see it through. I wanted to have it done so badly for today, but I lost three days of writing time last week due to still being weighed down with work. I hope it isn’t too disappointing to have to wait until monday for the demo update! I am going to post a link to an as-I-write updated demo on Patreon and Discord, if you want to see the ugly face of raw wip drafts. Otherwise I will post the demo update here on Monday with a comprehensive post!

And now!  the biggest news is… from now on, I am writing full time!

This is what I have been tossing and turning about every night ever since Easter. It started as a silly idea while talking to some friends and family about how I was looking for a change in career. And then, little by little, that idea whittled down to a plan, carefully carved by my partner and his whispers of a happy future, a finished dream project, and something to be proud of until the day I wither and die. 

Somewhere between then and now, I grasped a tiny sliver of bravery and held on for dear life. 

I quit my job as a teacher, and instead of accepting a cushy office job, I started behaving as if OUROBOROS and writing was my work (for all the moments I could afford). I have researched and tried different methods from week to week, and although I was still tired from work, I felt like I was onto something that could build into a sustainable future. 

I have no doubts that this journey will be bumpy and long, but sometimes all it takes is to take that first step, and do it with determination. It might all crash and burn and fail in a spectacular way, or with a whimper, but then I will know that I have tried. I will know that I gave myself the chance to be who I want to be, work on what means so much to me. 

And that’s it. I think the hardest part of formulating this post (I’ve written about 50 versions of it!) is getting to the point; the kernel of what makes it so special to me. So, in my heart of hearts, what I'm trying to tell you is that I'm gonna give it my all- and while I know the road to having a sustainable career in writing is rough and ever winding, I do know for sure that I am ready for a challenge, to pour my heart and soul into it until the day I rush out of the office screaming IT IS DONE. IT IS DOOOOONE!!! 

If you decide to join me, I will treasure your company like a lantern in the dark. Hand in lovable hand, let’s fucking go.

[sav-not-tav]

Get To Know Me Tag

Whew this was a long one! Thanks for the tag lovely, @darkurgetrash <3 This was fun! I love these games and learning more about my moots and sharing about myself when I wouldn't otherwise!

No pressure tags for: @little-paperboat @seabirdsong @forget-me-maybe Do you make your bed? Nope! Once I manage to peel myself out of that thing, what's left behind isn't my business. (plus I have 2 dogs who would promptly tear it back up, so,)

Favorite Number: I've always liked the number 11. Can't really say why, though!

What's your job? I am in sales, which works shockingly well given that I am pretty introverted IRL

If you could go back to school, would you? No. I was always smart but struggled in school because I had undiagnosed ADHD and was only seen as a problem child and as the weird girl. The lack of support and social issues left a bad taste in my mouth for school. Then, post-high school, I experienced terrible burnout in my first few years at college.

Can you parallel park/drive a manual car? Yes and yes. Cars and motorsports are actually a big passion of mine :)

Do you think aliens are real? Hell yeah! We'd be insane to think we're the only ones here. I kinda subscribe to the Dark Forest theory, though

What's your guilty pleasure? Napping. On the rare weekends that I have free time, there is nothing to stop me from a 6-hour mid-day nap. That and sweets.

Tattoos? I have 4, with plans for a few more. I have more piercings than tattoos at the moment. I just need to find a new artist, eventually... if I ever remember.

Favorite type of music: I have 2, depending on the mood. Metal/Rock or Electronic/House music. Which, these days a lot of metal leans on electronic heavily so it balances 🥰

Do you like puzzles? Yes and no. I really enjoy escape rooms as my ADHD can just go crazy with finding something, getting distracted and finding something else, then putting it all together. The time constraints are the vibe killer there, tbh

Any phobias? Fear of falling, definitely. I don't mind heights themselves if I'm in a secure position, but things like skydiving/ziplining/certain roller coasters do me in.

Favorite childhood sport: I was never into sports as a kid. I've gotten really into motorsports as an adult, though, and feel like if I grew up somewhere that kids motor sporting/karting was more prevalent *cough cough Europe cough cough* I would have been super into that.

Do you talk to yourself? Not really. There's enough going on in my mind 24/7 that the external stimulation might push me over the edge lol

What movie(s) do you adore? When people ask about my 'favorite movie', there are only ever 2 answers. Animated: Pixar's Cars. Live Action: Interstellar. No I will not take questions.

Coffee or tea: Depends. Cold: Coffee, all day. Hot: Tea, green, please.

First thing you wanted to be growing up? An astronaut 🥰

Last song I listened to: tear gas - Architects

Favorite color: Black!

Current obsession: BG3, lol.

Last thing I Googled: The phone # for my local tire shop 😂 Fancy.

Favorite Season: Winter. I love a good cold day.

Skill I'd like to learn: Painting. I actually went to art school for 2 years before suffering from extreme burn out. I was always decent with digital art, but I would love to be able to really, actually, literally paint

Best advice: I genuinely can't share any. Big head no thoughts. Sorry

Currently watching: Catching up on the Fallout show! I'm always very behind on new TV but currently about halfway through it.

Currently reading: A stupidly long list of BG3 fanfics as my "to read" books sit gathering dust on my bookshelf.

Relationship status: Married! Together since 2016 <3

Sweet/Savory/Spicy: Gosh it really depends on the mood, but if I had to choose only one for the rest of my life, SWEET! I have a weakness for baked goods.

[themagnusbane]

GAP The Series Episode 5 Thoughts

Whew! Thought for a second there that they were going to deprive us of jealous Sam. Kinda like the way they deprived us of the kiss at the end of episode 3, and then started episode 4 without picking up from where they left off in the pool. But it looks like we are starting this episode with a face full of jealous Sam and I am HERE FOR IT!!!

2. Tee's little head tilt is like "oooooh. She angry, Angry". Yes Tee. Y'all's little stunt worked too well and now she's pissed. But because I know sapphic jealousy usually leads to sapphic confessions and hopefully some kissing, I'll say please take the jealous rants like a champ, and thank you for doing us all a solid!

3. Sam's like "Prawns are for my beloved. You touch them. You lose your hand." And as someone who loves prawns and hates having to share them... Thank you Sam. You make me feel seen. Now pass me some prawns. I'm hungry!!!

4. Also, I'm sure I read somewhere that shellfish are an aphrodisiac, in which case... Sam. I see what you did there!

5. Tee's really pushing Sam's buttons. See? This right here is why we say butch lesbians are the backbone of our community! Look at Tee putting in all that work to force Sam into confessing her feelings. We stan an icon!!!

6. Awww Sam. Look at you upset at their gentle teasing. Nobody's laughing at you. Tee's just laying the groundwork for you to confess to your girl that you're jealous, and then you both can get to kissing (LIKE WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THE LAST 4 EPISODES!!!!).

7. I swear Sam. With how green you've turned, you owe Tee an apologies and gifts. This here is a PSA to treat your local butch lesbian with all the love and care cuz they are amazing, and I REPEAT, are the backbone of our community!!! Go Tee!!!!

8. Sam, honey. Sure Mon is learning to speak Sam, but she's still learning. You are going to have to use your words. Also, my girl still needs to grill you for ignoring all her messages while you were out, getting yapped at by Kirk the snitch! Don't think either of us have forgotten that!

9. Sam, requests for hot coffee; gets hot coffee, and then complains that coffee is hot. Also Sam, acts all jealous and snippy, doesn't give Mon a chance to say a word the previous night, and now is huffy that Mon hasn't texted her. Me, watching the hot ass mess that is Khun Sam:

10. Mon sweetheart. I know you love her ass. I do too. But you have to at least finagle an apology from ya girl. She stood you up on your date, ignored your messages, threw a jealous tantrum and gave you the cold shoulder. Sure she's cute and will look adorable as a little river prawn, but nevertheless, ASK FOR AN APOLOGY!!!!

11. Oooooh. Love the casual "well you already had prawns with Kirk so I'm sure you don't want to have prawns with me" that Mon tossed into their text exchange. You go girl. Finagle yourself that apology. Let Khun Sam know that she doesn't have the monopoly on being jealous!

12. I swear Sam. You're lucky you're pretty. All this bourgeois way of looking down on us poor folks, has me feeling pretty irritated. But then I look up, see your face, and all is forgiven. Urgh!

13. Sam, you can't leave her pinky finger hanging like that. Come on. Look at that little lonely thing. It needs another pinky finger to feel connected. Smoosh your pinky finger with hers! The way you know you want to smoosh your lips to hers! Come on Sam!

14. OMG. She doesn't know what the pinky promise is? Or that that's a finger heart? I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Poor Khun Sam. Urgh!!!

15. She's not taking the pictures because she's addicted to social media Khun Sam. She's taking them to remember her second date with you! And just like last time you both would probably start taking couple selfies at some point.

16. There is no way Mon doesn't know what she's doing. Talking about Chin sending her stickers on LINE and him flirting. She totally noticed that Sam's been green since the previous night, and is rubbing it in. In which case...

17. OMG!!!! Sam's little puffed up cheeks! DEAD y'all. I'm DEAD!!!!

18. Awwww that little moment of Sam, thinking she is alone, and letting herself swing back and forth on the swing, only to return to perfect stillness when Mon comes back, breaks me. This is all the fault of the witch that is her grandmother! I just know it! Wouldn’t let the poor girl be a child and play like one. Urgh!!

19. I get what they're trying to do with the negatives actually imply a positive because of the way Sam grew up and how she's been forced into things she doesn't like, by her grandmother (for example. Kirk is a good example of this. Although she likes him as a friend, she doesn't like him romantically; not like her grandmother would even care). But still, at some point, I wil need Sam to ACTUALLY SAY THE WORDS!! No double negatives. No indirectly telling her. I need her to actually say "I like you". Not for Mon to decipher it in the things she isn't saying.

20. The way I LOVE how this show is just employing the use of all the tropes!!!! Now we have the messy eater trope, and I AM SCREAMING!!!! I swear, if they don't kiss this very instant!!! Your fingers are already on her lips Sam. KISS HER RIGHT NOW GODDAMNIT!!!

21. OMG! It's happening. It's happening. "Bite my nose and I'll bite your lips". OMG!!!! We are getting a kiss!! WE ARE GETTING A KISS!!!!

22. What do you mean by friends don't do this. Girl! SHUT UP AND LET HER KISS YOU! Do you know how long we've been waiting for this??? URGH!!!

23. Oh God! Not fucking Nop with his fucking heterosexual ways, interrupting our kiss. NOP. She is gay, and in love with her boss. SHE IS NOT INTERESTED IN YOU. Let it go! Let her go! It's a nope from all of us Nop. Leave the sapphics alone! Urgh!

24. The way Sam is licking her lips while staring at Mon. Gods. She wants to kiss her so bad!!! THE LONGING y'all!!! THE LONGING!!!!! Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!

25. Oh god! NOT FUCKING NOP AGAIN! I need someone to carry this boy and throw him in a trash can. Pussy-blocking piece of shit!

26. Same Sam. Same. I totally want to kick his ass too. The audacity to try and collect the prawns. Boy, was she talking to you??? Rude, entitled asswipe!

27. Jealous Sam is speaking FACTS!!! You go my queen! TELL THAT BOY THE TRUTH!! We all see past his "nice-boy" act! Eviscerate him in every way that counts. Speak those unpleasant truths that Mon can't say. See? This right here is why Sam is queen!!!!

28. Mon is like "nope. Not having this conversation. You both are not allowed to play a tug-of-war over who 'owns' me," and you know what? Valid. Absolutely valid.

29. Whatever she was "doing" with Sam, is NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS Nop! Urgh! I really really can't stand his ass. The audacity he has to ask her these questions. She doesn't need to answer you. She DOES NOT ANSWER TO YOU!

30. "This is so harsh" my ass. You keep pushing and prodding, and now that she's put you in your place, you're acting all hurt. Get the fuck out of here!

31. Rejected. Wet. And pitiful. It's what you deserve Nop. It's what you deserve.

32. At this rate, Mon might just accidentally blurt out the truth of her and Sam's relationship, without anyone asking her. Hehehehehe.

33. Poor Chin. This is what you get for making Sam jealous with your stickers.

34. The desperate need to have your crush follow you back on social media. I feel you on that Sam. I feel you!!

35. Sam, I love you and your fake scamming account profile. Please never change. ROFL!!!!

36. Sam. Girl. Are you trying to break the World Guinness record for number of stickers sent in a minute??? Hehehehe. I swear, Sam's jealousy at Chin's sticker game is SENDING ME!!!

37. Oh damn! I've never seen a sexier nose bite! Wow. Just wow! But also GJHGJHGHJGHJGJHG. DOES THIS MEAN THE KISS IS HAPPENING??? OMG! OMG! OMGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!

38. Oh God. The sound I just made. That lip bite. Jesus fucking Christ. That lip bite. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. And the eye-fucking that followed. But with no kiss following it? I am ruined!!! They haven't kissed yet and I am already ruined. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck!

39. Hehehehe. Sam being all slick like "come to my house. You can sit. You can lie down. You can use my free wifi. And the air-con will have you nice and cool. You can finish up on work" and all I'm hearing is the silent but very loud "AND WE CAN MAKE OUT. OH GODS CAN WE MAKE OUT. YOU AND ME. SCISSORING TILL THE SUN RISES". Rofl. I love her your honour. I love her so much!!!

40. Oooooh. I love the nod to Sam getting Mon her own pajamas, in her favourite colour. It's a nice contrast to the first night Mon spent at her house and had to go to sleep in Sam's own colour and clothes. *Squeal*!!!

41. Her fake yawning and sighs are sooo cute. Mon, have mercy. Sam wants you in her bed and under her. Let's get to some sexy times. Please. Gods. We have been waiting for this for like forever!!!

42. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. That was a perfect first kiss. Why am I crying so much. That was beautiful. The laughing. Sam cupping Mon's cheek. Sam's lips pressed to Mon's lower lips. The finger sliding across Mon's lips, then back to cheek. The eye contact. Sliding back in to kiss her some more. Hands cupping her jaw. I am a PUDDLE!!!

43. Mon, you have released a monster. Sam will be wanting to taste those lips every other minute. Brace yourself.

44. Hold the fuck up! Did this bitch just pop open a pen with her mouth, whilst eye-fucking us???? Sam. WHAT THE FUCK?!!! You are NOT allowed to do that! Spare us! Spare some mercy please. WHAT THE FUCK??? Also, did anyone else think of bullet vibrators when she did that? The small ones? Cuz the way she has that in her mouth has me feeling things. And thinking things. And fuuuuuuuuck.

45. That wink! Sam! Who are you? Mon you've unleashed the kraken. And on behalf of ALL of us, we say thank you!!

46. The SCOY reference. YESSSSSSSSS!!!!!

47. Sam running her fingers through her hair. Oh God. Everything she does at this point is going to make me incredibly horny isn't it?

48. I really appreciate the fact that everyone who made this show know that sapphics spend an inordinate amount of time, looking at women's fingers (the girls that get it, get it), and the way the camera keeps panning to Sam's fingers, and the way they slide and glide and move their way around Mon's body... Lord, have mercy. Or rather I should say... Sam, have mercy.

49. I swear Martha/Jim is my favourite. Rofl! Yes please. Let's put her grandmother in a box. Then have a procession and bury her in the ground. Put garlic around it as well of course. Just in case she really turns out to be a vampire and decides she wants to pop out of her grave.

50. Girls. Is that the end of the call? But y'all didn't agree on ANYTHING. Rofl.

51. Sam is so funny. Girl, EVERY worker has a strong urge to spend money after they get paid. We console ourselves on having survived a full month of working, with some retail therapy. It's called a coping mechanism.

52. I love that Yuki's now part of their friend group as well. I knew I caught sapphic vibes from her when she was playacting with Mon, as Sam before Mon's first day. You go Yuki. Let Tee treat you like the Queen you are!!

53. Sam's friends are the absolute best!!! This birthday party's cute AF!!!

54. Awwwwww. Mon is so sad that she couldn't get her a birthday present on the scale of her friends.. My sweet baby. Just having you in her life is enough of a present. But I totally understand why you're so sad though.

55. I saw what you did there Sam. That lip balm is a present for you both. Cuz now when you kiss, she'll taste like strawberries. Khun Sam is so smart!!

Aaaaaand next episode's preview looks like things will stay spicy. I love it!!!

@ellaspore here are my thoughts for episode 5. It's long AF, but so many things happened and GAH!!! I AM STILL SQUEALING!!!!

[autisticjoshrusso]

I love your headcanons! (Do not worry about being an angst goblin, I am very much one as well!)

Okay so I headcanon Eddie as autistic and absolutely agree with your assessment of Josh as such too, and I just had the funniest/also angstiest thought that one of the reasons for their beef during Eddie's era at dispatch is because neither of them is picking up on the other being neurodivergent and their autisms "not clicking" (I hope that makes sense, it's something I've experienced before and it wild when the realization hits. Truly wild.)

Anyway thank you so much for sharing!!! I love hearing your thoughts! 💜

YEAH!!! You're so right for this. I really need to dig in and get all the lore/reasoning for the autistic Eddie headcanon because I saw it somewhere and immediately agreed but I haven't like... fully thought about Why.

I have... so many thoughts about the Josh and Eddie dispatch beef that I will probably have to write a whole post about it eventually because like... whew! gay autistic violence. like to me there is LAYERS upon layers like there's just Josh hating new people and being territorial, there's the clashing autisms, there's the dislike of new Men in the workplace Specifically... like its a LOT there's a LOT going on there. I've mentioned it here and there in other posts but man I really should articulate all my thoughts fully. Perhaps when I get there in my rewatch so I'm not just going off my memory.

Also thank you for asking and reading!!! I love to talk about things so JDFHKJDSFHJK I always appreciate getting asks about stuff.

[lividlovers]

Whew.. Trigger Warning: *I'm about to share something personal*

I almost threw up today cus I remembered a time my ex was talking to me in a way that didn't make me feel loved. I felt myself shutting down and my only way to cope was to retaliate by retreating into my shell and talking less. Girl I was moody.. We were stuck driving somewhere and I was dead silent. We usually hold hands but doing that felt gross cus I was wondering why I was in a relationship with someone that felt like it was ok to treat me like my feelings don't matter. We finally get there and I work up the courage to ask him why he's treating/talking to me like that. He says he's not treating me any type of way. I explain how he usually treats me and how I feel like he's treating me now. I asked him if I did something to make him change the way he's treating me and he says "not that I can think of" then I ask him if he would like if I treated him in the way I feel like he's treating me. He says "I wouldn't really care, everyone always treats me this way and I'm fine with it." My heart broke and I'm thinking to myself like damn? Fr I thought we were together cus we love eachother and I don't feel loved right now so I hope I haven't been treated him like this.. like everyone else..? So I say that. I don't even know where the strength or w.e came from but I was so deadass. I'm like "I want you to tell me whenever I make you feel like this because I love you and I don't ever want to make you feel this way. I want us to speak to eachother with love and I want you to feel loved so I need you to tell me when I'm not doing that right so I can check myself too" like I don't even remember but it was a speech from my heart cus I came from trauma and I'm not tryna be in a traumatic relationship so I knew if we we're just about to keep fucking eachother up I'd rather just not be together. He just looked at me and I felt stupid until he started crying. I had no idea where it was coming from so I just held him until he walked away from me cus I think he didn't want me to see him crying. So anyway we end up not even going where we're tryna go and just end up trying to talking it out until we go get something to eat.

[theorist-influencer-untitled]

11.8.23 Wednesday

1:39 am

Whew... I feel bitter... I feel fat and ugly and wrinkled...

2:25 am

Resting then will shower...

I accidentally saw this on youtube of course... It is just weird... I sense something a force from a girl which scares me so much...

This version... It makes my heart cry...

This one I also want but whew....Argh....I need money and job...

2:59 am

I really like Borgy that body and his pouting cute lips...

4:12 am

I still have windblow...Done,showering can't sleep... Still, thinking of money and job and I wanna get progress... I feel defeated for 16 years.

I lost attention in a way coz one main factor my biological mother is fake... Can't even see my old fucking friends.... I lost friends and life. I don't like anybody here anymore in Cavite since that bullshit thingy happened to me when that dread-locks guy or Miles stabbed me to death...

Still, I want to transfer in ilocos coz it is my pride... They smash me here since 2007! I really wanna see sand-dunes in ilocos and some plastics rocks and pebbles....

I have a question here? Am I tomboy? Nope! I'm bisexual but it is difficult for me to like a girl.

Lesbian-- they are difficult to get, they don't trust new women right away! They are competitive! We are careful...

I wanna leave this place...

9:23 am

I have windblow... Uncle DD suddenly called while my senses is half-awake and asleep and I think I was dreaming of Borgy that my soul is flying with him... Oh! Flesh craving... 16 years without SEX... My mental room in my head are so many thoughts...

Uncle DD said tomorrow they will go here to fix something their new house and bring food and share whatever pay bills... I hope I can ask for money coz I need money, I don't have a job I feel frustrated... I need to get a job,in a lil while...

Yeah... Yeah... I had have sexual craving... The body and face and lips of Borgy is appearing in my dream... Whenever my soul flies I suddenly feel the slimy thing down there... It is my chemical, angels... I feel the frustration and madness within me...

You appear in my dream this morning that pouting lips is somewhere down the hill... It is so weird this am... But it is something good and give a peace in me... Something I want and I miss... Something that makes me feel loved....

Subconscious is on Borgy?or windblow cryptic??? or windblow mental motivation???

So, weird but it is good in my dream... Anyways, I wanna leave Cavite 16 years is too much....Too much for making me nothing and not happy... In my dream I want you Borgy, all of your whatever slimy thing you have...

9:47 am

Give me some peace of mind ... You are in my dream Borgy, frustration... My chemical frustration on YOU.

10:42 am

Whew! Force... Energy... Ignition... Fire...LOVE!

10:58 am

3:35 pm

Why those fucking INC and DJ' s are organized on their sex society organization on Eagle FM , here in Cavite and they planned to rule the world...

I'm so fucking jealous of their SEX since 2007... I don't like them here in Cavite!

I want Borgy to give this kind of "Till Murder Do Us part" theme here in Cavite...

I want some blood here in Cavite...

8:19 pm

I still have windblow... I feel fat,ugly and wrinkled....

As always -- I FEEL JEALOUS ON THINGS THAT I DON'T KNOW...

I feel intimidated on things behind me that I feel or sense an unfairness....

I feel self-pity for being flatten this way and aging for nothing. Thinking of money and my job and I really wanna remove "the deep smile lines" that I have... I hate that I can't do tambay2x even ìn starbucks or hang-out in STARBUCKS. I feel hurt... I'm out of fundings... I need money and job angels...

I'm so decided to transfer in ilocos, I wanna dance on sand-dunes though there are some plastics rocks and pebbles.

I wanna transfer in ilocos, I wanna have a peace of mind... It will be my decision until the end, or until my last breath here though in reality in God's name, it is unfair to die this way literally to be put on 6 feet underground. They just killed me without allowing me to fight fairly.

I feel bitter and I wanna get Borgy I really have mental hunger on him... I have windblow.. I wanna see Borgy's penis! I WANNA SEE BORGY'S PENIS! I really wanna touch that Penis!

11:05 pm

It is 8th today,in a lil while it will pass US by... I still adore YOU Borgy...

[daughter-of-poseidon8]

so... I got sick and started watching jdramas??

I’ve been sick with covid (again, huh) and idk what possessed me but I’ve binged 5 japanese dramas in the past 5 days?!?!?! before last wednesday I don’t even remember when was the last time I had seen one. no one asked for my thoughts but here they are:

1 - koi wa tsuzuku yo doko made mo aka an incurable case of love (8/10): this drama was entertaining and lighthearted, but since it took place at a hospital it had some sadder moments as well. ngl sakura was so dumb and impulsive it was irritating sometimes, but the romance was super cute and dr. tendou’s gaze is just...wow.

2 - imawa no kuni no alice aka alice in borderland (8/10): I had to look away sometimes while watching because it got too intense and gory for my taste, but it truly deserves its great reputation. unlike another game based survival drama... this one managed to make me care about the characters, which in turn made it harder to watch certain games. yes, episode 3 wrecked me.

3 - todome no kiss aka a kiss that kills (8/10): I really liked the concept that being kissed kills you and your consciousness goes back to the past, and the morally grey main character taking advantage of that to always be one step ahead. that ending was necessary but it didn’t really leave me satisfied so I’m glad I watched todome no parallel. also, yamazaki kento looked criminally hot.

4 - hajimete koi wo shita hi ni yomu hanashi aka a story to read when you first fall in love (9/10): this drama... THIS DRAMA!!! what I wanted: a cute romance starring yokohama ryusei. what I got: an existential crisis because I saw myself in junko’s struggles (minus having to choose between three hot and caring guys). also I got teary-eyed when yuri made it into uni after all of that hard work. tbh he felt more like the main protagonist sometimes. also, I know the age gap romance is questionable to say the least but it was handled well and ffs it’s fiction!!!

5 - watashitachi wa douka shiteiru aka there’s something wrong with us (7,5/10): the first episodes were a solid combination of over the top melodrama and good couple moments but since the story didn’t have a lot of substance it dragged towards the end. tsubaki’s mom should’ve been punched multiple times for being the most annoying fictional mother that I’ve seen in a while. overall it was entertaining and the show looked really pretty with all of those food shots and scenes of yokohama ryusei wearing a kimono.

[slugtranslation-hypmic]

Hi, Slug! Since we have now the official Shuffle Divisions, I'd like to know if you were hoping to see (maybe hear it's better in this case) different characters together. Like, did you expect different teams? Sorry for my bad English!

To be honest, I wasn't really paying attention until the lineups were revealed, so I didn't have any preconceived notions. This all looks fun and goofy. My thoughts on each line-up:

Ichirou, Roshou, and Juushi: This seems like the ultimate good boy group, in that every member of the team gives off powerful good boy energy. I feel like whatever's going to happen with them will probably involve helping grannies cross busy intersections, rescuing kittens from trees, and volunteering at the local soup kitchen. I can dig it.

Samatoki, Doppo, and Rei: I'm having a lot of trouble figuring out how this one will work out, because their individual dynamics are all so different. I think Doppo would get scared at first and probably accidentally tick off Samatoki, but how would Rei play into it? And would Doppo come out of his shell later, like he tends to do? I'm looking forward to seeing how they gel, because I can't imagine it right now.

Ramuda, Hifumi, and Riou: A lot of people are talking about Ramuda and Hifumi getting along, and I agree, but I'm personally way more hyped to see how Ramuda and Riou interact. (I like Riou a LOT.) I know it's not going to be the scenario in my mind of "Dice brings a trusted homie in need to the trusted homie Dice turns to in times of need" which is directed like an art film, illustrated by Michelangelo, and has won 15 awards. But I hope that they do get along. I don't think Riou would mind Ramuda's particular brand of obnoxiousness - he is so very accepting, and it is delightful - but I hope Ramuda's end goes beyond, "Ick, going outside! Yuck!" I really don't want it to devolve into a match of Hifumi and Ramuda making fake gagging noises and going, "Yuck, boy cooties!" But both have been known to act with all the maturity of elementary schoolers, so who knows?

Jakurai, Hitoya, and Saburou: Saburou's winning this one for sure. I think Jakurai would probably like Saburou a lot, because Saburou is a lot like Hitoya and Jakurai when they were kids, and Hitoya would probably be pissed at him for the exact same reason. I think Saburou would probably really enjoy the company of these (relatively) mature, intellectual adults, but at the same time, the palpable tension between Jakurai and Hitoya would make things awkward. This one is hilarious to me. A soap opera in the making. "Law school? Easy. Med school? As if. Raising a family? The hardest challenge ever. Join ex-friends and lifelong rivals Hitoya and Jakurai who must come together to co-parent a moody teenage son in a household where the collective IQ is through the roof. Coming this summer: MENsa"

Sasara, Gentarou, and Jirou: Oh, jesus. Well, I have to say, I think Jirou is the best equipped person to survive a Sasara and Gentarou combo, as the two of them have an unparalleled ability to take clowning to the next level. This will probably be the most chaotic in terms of sheer hollering and weird noises.

Kuukou, Juuto, and Dice: Oh god, poor Juuto. Honestly, if Juuto wasn't there, I'm pretty sure Kuukou and Dice would end up sharing a blunt together behind a dumpster somewhere and then end up being homies for life. As is, I think this group has the highest potential to get charged with manslaughter. I don't think they'd intentionally kill anyone, but rest in peace to anyone who happens to get to close to this powderkeg.

I have a feeling that, as a whole, this event is probably going to be like, "WHEW, glad that's finally over! You know, now that I'm back with my normal crew, I feel like you guys aren't so bad after all! There are some real bozos out there" but virtually every cast member is saying this.

[voiceless-terror]

Perchance to Dream

@aspecarchivesweek Day Three: Drinks

Characters: Jonathan Sims/Martin Blackwood, Tim Stoker, Sasha James

Jon comes out to Martin. Twice.

(Ft. Kiss-Averse Jonathan Sims and Hamlet References)

__________

“Ugh, no thank you.”

Martin pauses. Sasha and Tim titter behind their hands.

And Jon, well. He’s got a look of vehement disgust written across his features, not unlike when he’s laying into what he claims is a fabricated statement. Martin can feel his face turning red at the words.

Getting Jon to come out for drinks had been the hard part. It’s one month into his tenure as Head Archivist, and everyone’s starting to feel the scope of the task ahead of them. Tim thought a ‘monthiversary’ drink was in order, and the only way to get Jon to come out was to threaten him with some sort of ill begotten information, the likes of which Martin couldn’t hear behind the closed door. Ten minutes later, Jon emerged, looking grumpier than usual (and very dashing) with a scarf around his neck. And now he sat next to him in the cozy pub booth, Martin trying very hard to remain stock-still because Jon’s leaning into his side. Perhaps he’s cold? Either way, Martin isn’t going to discourage it. 

But then he’d had a few drinks and they all loosened up; even Jon’s laugh came easier. And Martin- well, Martin’s opening up a bit more than usual, chattering about his time in the library and bolstered by the smiles he receives in turn. Tim changed track to the personal, regaling them with his latest outdoor adventure while Sasha and Jon gave witty, sarcastic commentary. But then Tim directed the conversation towards him, and they seemed relatively interested in his poetry. He even felt comfortable enough to rattle out a few lines from his phone in a desperate hope to impress, and he stupidly chose one that referenced ‘lips like a rosebud’ and Jon reacts like he’s read a particularly saucy bit of a smut novel aloud. How embarrassing. 

“Whew,” Tim whistles lowly, folding his arms behind his neck with an exaggerated wince. “Harsh, boss.”

“No, that’s not it,” Jon says, shaking his head and putting a hand on Martin’s arm. Putting a hand on Martin’s arm. Putting a hand- “Martin, your poetry is fine, if a bit derivative.” Jon thinks his poetry is fine and he’s got his small, fine-boned hand on Martin’s arm and god, he’s got a poem about that too, somewhere in his phone-

Tim guffaws, slamming a hand on the table and startling Sasha. “What a compliment!”

“It’s just…kissing. Lips. Ugh.” Jon smashes his fork rather violently into a dumpling, sending bits of food flying across the table, one of which hit Tim directly above his eye. “I eat with my mouth.”

“Wise observation.”

“Very astute of you.”

Martin would join in on the banter but Jon’s hand is still on his arm and his warm weight is pressing into his side. Honestly, what’s Jon playing at? He could rip the poetry to shreds in front of him but as long as that hand remains on his arm he’d just sit there, not saying a word. Hell, he’d probably even agree.

“So the bossman doesn’t like kisses,” Tim says, taking an obnoxiously loud sip of whatever fruity beverage he’d decided on. “Is that why you ripped down all of my mistletoe back in research?”

Jon. Mistletoe. Hand still on arm.

“I don’t like any of it,” Jon says, removing his hand from Martin’s arm to make a decisive gesture across the table which nearly sent his drink flying. He instantly misses the pressure but the warmth is still there, burning through his sleeve. Jon looks incredibly drunk, now that Martin’s got a better angle to view his flushed cheeks and bright eyes and lips- “All that touching. I don’t understand why everyone’s so hung up on it. No thank you, not for me.”

A brief flash of understanding lights Sasha’s eyes but Martin’s not in a place to decipher it. He’s not sure if it’s the drink or the Jon-of-it-all that’s impeding him. He’s never seen him so relaxed, so animated about something that’s not work. He can’t even focus on the words coming out of Jon’s mouth at the moment.

But Sasha leans forward- once she’s got an idea in her head, she won’t let go until she’s seen it through. Martin recognizes that look. “You’re asexual, then?”

“Mm,” Jon mumbles, his head tilting back dangerously as he puts on an affected, exaggerated voice. “Man delights not me, no, nor woman neither.”

And then Martin’s gone, suddenly struck by a vision of teenage Jon, silhouetted on a stage by a dramatic spotlight, reciting Shakespeare like a born thespian- look, Martin despises theater, but even he’s not immune to Hamlet. In a dream world he’d be Ophelia, no, not Ophelia, idiot- maybe he’s a stage hand, or no, he helps Jon with his quick changes, that’s a job, right? So caught up is he in this pseudo-high school fantasy that the words being said don’t actually dawn on him until a full minute later, when Tim’s laughter reaches a crescendo.

“Boss, did you seriously just come out via Shakespeare?”

Jon’s not even denying it, giving a lazy, good-natured smile in response. Fuck. Here he is, having some stupid fantasy over his boss who is very much right next to him and very much not interested. God, is he taking advantage? He jumps to the side, trying desperately to put a few more inches of space between them for Jon’s comfort when that small hand comes back to his arm, the sudden and strong grip stopping him in his tracks. 

“No!” Jon’s voice is low, those dark eyes so intense. Martin can feel his face go scarlet from his gaze alone. “This is nice. I like it.”

Tim and Sasha share an evil little smile and Martin’s out of commission, the night’s revelations and Jon’s insistent snuggling having taken their toll. He couldn’t tell you what happened after that, how many drinks were shared or how he got home. All he remembers is the feel of Jon’s hand on his arm, his insistent closeness, and the sound of his laugh whenever Tim teased him.

The next day Jon comes in late, looking about as bad as the rest of them felt. From the way he interacts with them, it’s likely that he doesn’t even remember last night, what he did or what he said. Martin tries not to let it sting, and goes back to work, knowing there’s a side of Jon that he’ll likely never see again.

__________

“Martin, we have to...talk, if that’s alright.” 

Martin pauses, a lump building in his throat. “Okay.”

He settles in on Daisy’s lumpy couch, trying not to let his apprehension show. It’s been a week since Jon got him out of the Lonely and they’re still adjusting, but Martin likes to think they’re settling into a nice routine. There’s such a natural ease to their domesticity; they had their differences, sure, but he’s never seen the man so soft and unguarded, puttering around the cottage, making sure everything’s nice and comfortable for the two of them. And of course, there’s the bed situation. Only one, like in all the cliché fanfiction Martin had taken to reading back when he lived in the Archives and his biggest problem was worms. Maybe Jon doesn’t want to share anymore? He’s been strangely distant the past day, keeping space between them and hovering about in a nervous manner. He goes back through their interactions, trying to think of what he could’ve done wrong.

Jon sits down next to him, his face showing his own apprehension. “I know we’ve been getting...close, this past week. But if we’re going to ah, have an, er- well, you know, relationship- there’s some things you need to know.” Relationship. Jon thinks they're in a relationship. Martin didn’t want to put a label to it, too afraid it would shatter the fragile trust they built. But to be in a relationship with Jon, well, that’s something he’s always dreamed of, right?

So he relaxes minutely, tries not to show the utter joy he feels at the words. “Alright. What’s up?”

Jon takes a steadying breath, looking so oddly grave that Martin immediately wants to take him into his arms. “I don’t...well, I’m asexual. So I’m not really interested…” he makes a vague gesture down towards Martin’s crotch and then freezes, clearly embarrassed by the crudeness of the action. “I’m not interested in all of...that. Or kissing, for that matter. It’s just a personal boundary for me, if that’s alright.”

Oh. Martin blinks, taking in Jon’s serious countenance and hopeful eyes and while he wants to match it, he can’t control the laughter that bubbles out of his throat. “Oh-oh Jon-”

Jon immediately blanches, his brow furrowing in confusion and probably hurt. “W-What? What’s so funny?”

“I’m sorry! Fuck-it’s, it’s not that, that’s fine, it’s just-” Martin tries desperately to keep his laughter under control and fails. Christ, he can’t breathe. “Man delights not me, no, nor woman neither!” 

“Why are you quoting Shakespeare?” Jon’s looking at him like he’s lost his mind. Perhaps he has.

“Because you did, you daft thing!” Martin’s shoulders shake with the effort of containing himself, and he wipes a tear from his eye. He immediately puts a hand on Jon’s arm, a mirror’s reflection of that night at the bar and yet it’s still his hand that burns. “Jon, it’s fine. I already know. You told us over drinks my first month in the Archives.”

Jon’s face takes on that peculiar look of confusion and concentration that Martin loves, as if he’s searching his mind or maybe even the Eye for information. “I-oh. Oh!” He puts his head in his hands with a groan, ignoring Martin’s comforting pats to the back. “How embarrassing.”

“It was adorable.”

“No it wasn’t,” Jon whines into his hands even as he leans into Martin’s touch.

“It was,” Martin assures him, drawing him close to his side and letting him lean his head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry I laughed- you were just so serious, I couldn’t help it-”

“Yes, well,” Jon sighed, settling into his arms, the beginnings of a smile on his face. “It’s fine. As long you’re alright with…”

“More than alright.” It’s Jon, of course it’s alright. Being here with him, in their little shabby oasis- well, it’s more than enough. They sit there in silence for some time, Martin enjoying the closeness of the man he’d fought so hard to protect finally in his arms. He’s starting to think they just might be alright. He smiles to himself, perching his chin on top of Jon’s head.

“To be or not to be-”

“Shut up, Martin.”

ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28741983

[tinyboxxtink]

Weird Secret Friends *Chapter 3*

I fixed it!!!! Huzzah!!!

If you didn't see it earlier, it was crap-tastic on my phone.

I'm glad so far people love this. <3

Part 2

Part 4

Tag List

@madamsnape921

@lolliepopsicle

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

@word-scribbless

@gibbs274

@sassyada

@aprildecker-blog

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@stars-trash-18

@omgsuperstarg

@objection-argumentative

-------------

When you returned everyone was laughing at chatting, except for Sonny who was drinking vodka and soda while on his phone. He looked up and saw you both returning, he jumped up to meet you.

“Hey, counselor. I hope Y/N wasn’t too hard on you,” He half laughed.

“Are you kidding me, Sonny?” You scoffed.

“She’s fine, Sonny,” He smirked. “I like a little fire in a woman,”

“Oh?” Sonny’s eyebrows suddenly raised, causing you to give Barba a look. He was blowing your cover!

“I mean, I expect it from Jersey girls anyway,” He flipped his compliment quickly.

“God…” You muttered, looking at the floor. Pick a side, counselor.

“Anyway, um,” Sonny cleared his throat, trying not to think about Rafael and you together. “So when do we do presents and cake? I’ve kind of got an early--”

“I’m sorry, what?” Rafael furrowed his brows at Sonny. “Did you-- Carisi did you really just say that?”

“Do you see a present table? Do you see a giant rat mascot running around?”

“...What? Did I say something--?” Sonny became flustered.

“What do you think this is, a fucking Chuck E Cheese?” He suddenly snapped, causing shocked looks from both you and Sonny.

“I’m sorry Barba, I--”

“Alright that’s it,” You stepped in between the two of them, glaring at Rafael.

“Excuse you?” Rafael crossed his arms.

“Y/N, knock it off,” Sonny hit you softly.

“You have been nothing but rude to my cousin since we got here, Mr. Barba,” You pointed a finger to his chest.

“He was just trying to be nice, getting you a gift out of the goodness of his heart, something you would know nothing about!” Maybe now you were overcompensating.

“Y/N!” Sonny said through gritted teeth.

“What?!” You turned to see everyone at the party staring at the three of you in shocked silence. “Oh…” Your voice turned soft, your face turned red.

“Well,” Rafael straightened his suit and tie, recovering from your little rant. “I guess I should be a gracious host and open it then, shouldn’t I?” He gave you a look.

“...Holy shit,” You heard one of the guests gasp. “That thing is over $1,000! My wife wouldn’t even get me that for Christmas,”

“NO!” Sonny objected rather loudly,. “I mean, that’s not necessary Barba. It’s just a little something, it’s fine,”

“No no, your cousin is right,” He shook his head as he walked over next to Sonny’s chair and retrieved the large gift bag and placed it on the table. Sonny bolted over, you trailed behind quickly.

“No, seriously Barba, don’t,” Sonny began to panic. You suddenly realized how this was going to look, maybe you shouldn’t have pushed.

“Carisi why are you being like--” Rafael was questioning him but was silenced mid-speech when he pulled out the briefcase. His eyes went wide, you swore you heard a few people audibly gasp, You looked around completely lost, finally noticing the absolute horror on Sonny’s face.

“....Is this a Louis Voutton Robusto 2 in Taiga leather, Carisi?” Rafael whispered, running his fingers over the fine leather.

“Oh my god,” You couldn't watch this. Sonny had such a big heart, too big of a heart. He tried so hard...why didn’t you step in sooner?

“Uh y-yeah, sure Barba whatever you want,”

“Carisi, can I speak with you a moment outside?” Rafael blinked rapidly, trying to wrap his head around what was happening right now.

“Do you guys need somewhere to make out?!” An obnoxious man laughed, making the other guests snicker.

“Oh shove it Buchanan,” Rita hit him. “Sonny’s just his puppy,”

“Oh god,” Sonny muttered under his breath as he followed Barba outside. He didn’t know which was worse for people to think right now.

“This is totally inappropriate, why would you even--” He threw his hands over his head. God it was one thing knowing Sonny had a thing for him, but for him to finally make a move like this-- in front of his peers? His colleagues? The audacity.

You wondered if you should follow them. You were the one to cause this mess, after all. Also you really didn’t like the looks you were getting from the rest of the party-goers. You quickly began to follow after them, you could hear Rafael yelling from a mile away.

“What the hell is WRONG with you, Carisi?!”

“I-I’m sorry, Barba I--”

“WHAT?!” Sonny’s eyes instantly went to you. “W-Why would you…? Why would you say that?”

“I’m sorry, counselor I just thought--”

“You just thought what, Carisi?” He growled. “That if you bought some ridiculously expensive gift I’d suddenly realized you were ‘the one’?”

“What?!” Sonny suddenly snapped. “What the-- what the fuck are you talking about, Barba?”

“Uh I don’t know Carisi, maybe the fact that you have feelings for me?”

“What?” Rafael suddenly realized either you were wrong, or he was sticking to denial. Either way, he was probably busted.

“I bought you that briefcase because I want you to like me as a COLLEAGUE, Barba. Do you know what kind of clout you get in our field by being friends with the ADA? And-- And nothing I do ever seems to be good enough, I was afraid you’d never...accept me, unless I…”

“Bribed me?” Rafael asked softly.

“I--I don’t know, I--”

“Well,” Sonny shrugged uncomfortably. “When you say it like that it sounds dirty,”

“Right,” Rafael rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

“....But why, in the fuck--” Sonny crossed his arms now. “Would you ever accuse me of--- of that?!”

“Is it because you have feelings for me and you were hoping I felt the same way but it freaked you out when I made some ‘declaration of love’ in front of all of your work buddies?”

“WHAT?!” Rafael practically screamed. “Absolutely not--”

“I’m just gonna ask you one time, straight out,” Sonny approached Rafael, his stature over him becoming more obvious the closer he got to the ADA.

“Then why? Have I seriously given you an impression that I-- want your cannoli?” He tried to find an appropriate word. And he was genuinely asking, he had made damn sure not to act that way for so long, there was no way he had fucked that up.

“Uh...yes, yes you have,” Rafael tried to bluff. He had no idea how this situation had flipped, or if it was better for Sonny to think he had feelings for him, and not his baby cousin.

“That’s bullshit,” Sonny shook his head with a sarcastic laugh. “I have made damn sure--” He glanced at you again, he knew that look. That was the same look you had when you had broken his mom’s favorite vase and had blamed it on the dog.

“Damn sure what?” Rafael quickly tried to distract him.

“Damn sure you didn’t think that,” He answered hazily, thoughts filling his mind.

“Because you do,” Rafael tried to keep defensive.

“....This isn’t about me, this is about you,” Sonny’s eyes suddenly narrowed as he was quickly becoming aware of the glances you at Rafael were sharing.

“Ohh no I think it’s about--”

“WHY would you accuse me of trying to...seduce you?!” Sonny cut him off.

“Does that sound like something I would do, whether it was true or not?”

“So it IS--”

“DAMMIT, Rafael!” Sonny stomped his foot. He was getting bold now as the wheels started turning.

“What?” Rafael laughed like it was ridiculous, looking everywhere but Sonny’s eyes. “When would she even--”

“...Did my cousin say something to you?” His eyes were narrow, he was scowling between the two of you. Fuck. FUCK. Don’t panic. Keep your cool. Don’t move.

“When you followed her just now?” He crossed his arms again.

Whew. Well, thank God. At least that bullet was dodged.

"Was she? Because it seems like telling you was the worst thing she could do!!!" Sonny snapped.

“....She might have said something along those lines,” Rafael glanced at you with apologetic eyes as he threw you under the bus.

“Wha-- are you kidding me?!” You hissed at him, but Sonny was already fuming at you.

“Y/N!!! What the fuck is wrong with you?!” He started to stomp over to you. “You can’t just throw your assumptions at people, because you think your ‘emotionally stunted’ cousin can’t deal with some confusing feelings he has,”

“Uh…”

“Ya can’t just SHOVE someone out of a closet!” He kept yelling, oblivious to the stares he was now getting. “Especially not to my boss!!!”

“Sonny, I--”

“See I knew it!” Rafael clapped his hands together, trying to rescue you after he threw you to the sharks. “I knew you had feelings for me, I didn’t need her to tell me,”

“FINE,” Sonny threw his hands up. “Fine, Rafael. You win, okay?” He struggled with tears forming in his throat. “Yeah, I’ve had some-- weird, feelings about you. For a while,”

You and Rafael just stared at him while he “came out” to an entire restaurant.

“And alright, maybe I went a little overboard with the gift, my bad,” He shrugged. "But that doesn't excuse Y/N for telling you her conspiracy theories!"

"Carisi…" Barba sighed. "She was just trying to help."

"Y'know what YN, would you mind finding somewhere else to crash tonight, i can't really look at you right now," he sighed as he turned and walked awkwardly out of the restaurant.

"Sonny I am so--" you tried to apologize.

"Well you heard the man," He grinned, totally unphased by what just happened.

"I'm sure he'll--" his face went from a soft smile into a horrified expression.

"Are you fucking kidding me Rafael?" You scoffed at him in disbelief.

"Well at least he doesn't suspect anything between us!" He pointed out.

"Yeah just that I'm a horrible outing twat," you rolled your eyes.

"Aw carino," He pulled you into a soft comforting kiss.

"What's wrong?" You asked softly, afraid to turn around.

"How fucking DARE you say that, Barba. I'm not some fucking jealous teenager, although clearly that's your type,"

"Oh my god..." you heard Sonny's voice behind you. "Oh my God!"

You definitely didn't want to turn around now.

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Sonny now stormed over to the two of you.

I can't fucking believe you Y/N! What the fuck is this? How did this happen?"

"Sonny I--" You tried to explain,

"And YOU--" He glared at Rafael. "You had the fucking audacity to sit there and start yelling at me for "inappropriate feelings'," he growled.

"Carisi…." Rafael put a hand up.

"What the fuck do you call seducing my baby cousin??" He snarled.

'Look Carisi I know you might be jealous, but--" Before Rafael could finish his sentence, Sonny's fist was hitting his face and he fell to the ground.

"Hey!" You exclaimed.

"This isn't about my feelings, jackass," he went to punch him again but you ran over and tried to pull him off Rafael as a crowd of spectators was forming.

"Which by the way, you have zero worry of those anymore, I'm not into perverts," he spat.

"Sonny!" You gasped. "...the hell is wrong with you?!"

"We're leaving," he instructed you.

"Like hell we are," you went to help Rafael up.

"Sonny, even if you were my dad, I'm a grown woman," you snapped. "You can't drag me out of here like a child,"

"YN," Sonny had that soft, scary, angry tone. "I practically raised you. I'm the closest thing you have to a dad. So when I say we're leaving, we're leaving."

"Either you come with me right now, or I'm disowning you," he threatened.

"Are you fucking kidding me Son?" You laughed at the absurdity of the threat.

"I'll stop paying for your classes at the community college," he threatened.

Well not only did he just threaten your academics but he embarrassed the hell out of you revealing you weren't even in a real college.

"So?" You stood your ground. "Go for it,"

"I'll stop paying your rent," He kept going.

"Well that's--" You started getting nervous.

"I'll stop payments on your car,"

"OKAY," You finally caved. You just wanted to stop revealing what a fucking sad sack you were having him pay for everything, just like a dad.

You looked at Rafael who was standing now, winding his bloody mouth with a handkerchief from a pocket in his suit.

"I'm sorry," you barely whispered with tears in your eyes and throat. The last thing You wanted to do was leave him there but as Sonny so blatantly pointed out, he basically owned you.

You gave him one last long kiss goodbye, to which Sonny made a disgusted scoff.

Rafael gave you a look of pleading, begging you to stay with him while he held onto your hand. You pulled your hand away from him and turned to Sunny

"Alright let's go Son," you said softly trying not to glance back at Rafael.

Sonny nodded triumphantly and walked out of the restaurant with you close behind, leaving Rafael alone.

[donutloverxo]

His salvation

Note - for my love @evnscvll's 3k follower challenge. Congrats and i hope you like it.

Anon asked for "Mobster!steve making u dress in white lingerie specifically and act innocent so the purity of it is always a contrast to him and his gritty life whew it is hot in here"

Summary - You're Steves light. He can't let you go even if he knows he's bad for you.

Themes - mob au, smut, pwp, soft dark Steve, master/sir kink, dom/sub dynamics, cockwarming, slut shaming.

Pairing - Steve Rogers x reader

Word count - 2.3k

Masterlist is linked in the bio!

Steve had always believed he was born in blood and darkness. Doomed to stay there forever. Forced to do things he didn’t want.

To have people expect the world from him. Put him up on a pedestal. Having to match their standards.

Maybe no one is truly forced to do anything. Maybe that’s a lie he told himself so he could sleep at night.

It didn’t really matter either way. His soul would forever be tainted. No matter how many times he washed them, his hands will always be dirty.

His father died when he was only 20. As sad as he was. He was free as well. He was almost happy. He thought he wouldn’t have to live under the mobsters tight fist anymore. That he could use his power and his name for some good.

But he was surrounded by cartels, gangs and bad men. Who he owed many things to, on his fathers behalf. He never did try to stop fighting to get out of the quicksand, which only made him sink further. Believing that there would always be a light at the end of the tunnel. That someday he'd get to be normal.

Turns out the light was you. He decided so as soon as he saw you. Who knew a sweet simple waitress would save him from himself.

You were all smiles and politeness as you took down his and his associates orders. He still remembers your smudged pink lipstick, your white apron.

He found out how innocent and pure you were when you finally gave in and let him take you out to dinner. He doubted you had ever done anything bad in your life.

He choked on his wine when you told him that you’re a virgin. He had his suspicions but he really couldn’t believe how no one had ever touched someone as beautiful as you and took your innocence away.

He was elated when you told him that you wanted him to be your first. That you couldn’t be with anyone but him. That he had ruined you for other men.

The first time with you was the greatest night of his life. The best sex he ever had. Who knew it'd be with a virgin?

You weren’t like most women. Flaunting around their assets, leaving nothing to the imagination.

No. You were real and honest. So responsive to his touch. Your moans didn’t sound rehearsed, as if something you copied from watching too much gratuitous pornography.

Your cunt was adorned with soft dark curls. Completely natural. Just the way he liked. He drank from you as if he hadn’t drank anything for years. Revelling in the way he made you feel so good that you cried real tears for him.

But loving you came with a price. He couldn’t help but feel terrified of just how intense his feelings were. Because he knew you deserved the whole world. You deserved to be happy.

Because he knew he wasn’t the best for you. It wouldn’t be too long before you found out what he did for a living.

If you wanted to leave it would be understandable. But would he let you? He didn’t know.

He walked into your shared bedroom when you didn’t greet him at the door, he assumed you’d be asleep. But here you were putting on some sort of concoction on your face.

He put the little gift he got you aside and sneaked up behind you.

“Boo!” He screamed in your ear and chuckled at the startled noise you made.

You frowned as you spilled the multani clay all over your lap. All thanks to your man. You looked at him over your shoulder. Your frown creasing the drying clay on your face. “Thanks a lot.” You stood up removing your soiled robe.

His smile left his face as he delivered a harsh smack on your behind. You yelped and landed your palms down on your dressing table to support your weight.

He leaned in close to whisper in your ear. “What have we said about sassing me my dear?” He whispered lowly, caressing your bum before smacking it again.

“Only bad girls talk back.” You whimpered tears spilling from your eyes. “I’m sorry sir. I didn’t mean to.” You sobbed as he kept delivering sharp smacks to both your cheeks. Disappointed that you let him down, feeling the sharp pain in your ass, humiliated at the wetness pooling between your legs.

He sneaked a hand up your nightgown and past your panties. Pressing a thumb against your second hole. One he hadn’t had the opportunity to fuck yet. “Maybe I should some pay attention here as well.” He suggested pressing his thumb inside you.

“Whatever you want sir. I’ll do anything for you.” You breathed out as you felt him push two of his fingers in your heat. Working both your holes expertly. Almost tipping you over the edge.

You would be embarrassed of just how he could play with you so well that he had you cuming in mere minutes. But right now you couldn’t bring yourself to care. Too lost in the glorious pleasure. You had missed him terribly for the last few days. You couldn’t even touch yourself to relieve your aching pussy. It was against the rules laid out by Steve.

He pulled his fingers out of you all too soon as you whimpered at the loss. More tears escaping your eyes wetting the clay you had put on.

He delivered another sharp slap to your upper thigh. “Stop it. You know bad girls don’t get to cum.” He chastised your insolent behavior. He wanted to feel you gush around his fingers, but he couldn’t have you thinking you could speak to him however you liked.

To be so arrogant and bratty was unbecoming of you and he wasn’t having any of it. “It’s your own fault. You ruined it for both of us.” He said sternly as he moved you around to make you look at him.

His heart melted, all his anger fading away at the defeated and sad look on your face. “What’s this on your face?” He frowned at your brown face pack. Restricting him from seeing your face.

“It’s supposed to be good for your skin. I was just getting ready for our anniversary tomorrow.” You looked down shyly averting his eyes “I wanted to look pretty for you sir.” You mumbled.

You were too good to be true. So kind and considerate to him when he had just been so cruel and malicious to you. He supposed the stark contrast was only one of the million things he loved about you and your relationship.

He hummed at. Almost dropping to his knees then and there to finish you off with his mouth. But he had other plans for tonight.

He pushed his wet middle and forefinger, which were deep inside your cunt just a few seconds ago, against your lips. “You know what to do princess.” He instructed as you them in your mouth, suckling on them to clean them up.

He could hardly hold on. Just imagining your warm wet mouth around his cock had him almost cuming in his pants.

“Wash it off doll. You don’t need it. If you become anymore beautiful I won’t be able to keep my hands off of you.” He growled gripping your hips, perhaps a bit too harshly, grinding his hardness against your core.

You let out another pathetic whimper and gave him a small nod, complying instantly like you always do, walking towards the bathroom.

“Wait” He called out stopping you in your tracks. He handed you the paper bag. “Put that on.” He instructed.

“What is it?” You curiously peeked inside the bag.

“It’s your anniversary gift doll. Now go put it on.” He said growing more and more impatient by the minute. You hurried off into the bathroom. It was really more of a gift for him than you. But he had bought you some diamonds and pretty purses. He didn’t feel that guilty.

If he did have any semblance of guilt, it instantly faded away as he laid his eyes on you. Wearing the white satin baby doll he had picked out, with white lace on the edge of it. It ended just below your ass, giving him a generous view of your thick thighs and legs.

“Come here dove.” He extended an arm to you as you lingered at the bathroom door. Playing with the lace of your new nightie.

You gulped down and walked to him and stood in front of him. “Uh sir...” You trailed off as you couldn’t gather enough courage, not being able to concentrate with his large hands roaming freely on your body.

“What dove?” He asked feeling your ass over the smooth material.

“It – didn’t have any panties. Did they fall somewhere or something?” You stammered so embarrassed that you felt you’d cry.

You trusted Steve with your life but you couldn’t help the but feel exposed and embarrassed whenever his hungry eyes feasted upon you when you were naked. You had never put on any kind of lingerie for him before. Steve never seemed to mind your simple bras or comfortable granny panties. This was so new and scary for you. But at the same time oh so exciting.

“It did come with panties. But satin isn’t supposed to be good for you dove.” He explained. “I prefer you this way. It gives me free reign to do whatever I want with you.” He slipped a hand between your legs and caressed the inside of your thighs.

“At the end of the day. You are mine.” He pulled his hand away and jutted your chin up to make you look at him. “Now don’t you think you should apologize for being so rude to your master?” He asked and you nodded eagerly. “Get to work then. If you do a good job maybe I’ll go easy on you.” He said pushing on your shoulders to make you kneel in front of him.

Your shaky fingers worked to undo his zipper and pulling him out of his underwear. You gasped as his cockhead slapped your face before standing tall against his lower abdomen.

You licked your hand wrapping it around his thick length. You stroked him slowly watching in awe as beads of white cream oozed from his tip.

“You can do better than that.” He groaned nudging his cock against your lips and slowly pushing it in. He grunted at your warmth and wetness as he bottomed out, touching the back of your throat. Smirking as you gagged around him.

He looked down at you. Wishing he could rip out his phone and capture the image forever. You on your knees, looking up at him adoringly as if he’s your whole world, your mouth stretched wide as he fucked it. He was living the dream.

He grabbed a hold of your head with both his hands and hastily pushed and pulled out of your mouth. You cupped his balls and played with them, just as he had taught you.

He pulled you off of him. You looked up at him scared that he was still mad with you. “Aw don’t look so disappointed.” He cooed smoothening his hand over your hair “Need to cum in your cunt.” He rasped. “I’ll let you swallow it later dove. I plan to go all night.” He smirked as your eyes widened. Probably worried about how you could keep up with him. He did love testing you.

He impatiently manhandled you and dropped you on the bed. Making quick work of taking off his shirt and pants. He settled between your legs wrapping them around his waist. He wanted to taste you. To get lost between your legs. But he’d save that for later as well.

You bit his shoulder as he entered you. Still not used to his length. Your cunt burning in the best way at the hard and warm weight of him.

“Oh Steve...” You chanted his name and then a series of ‘oh my goodness' as he fucked into you, the sounds of his balls slapping your cunt so purely sinful. He didn’t mind you saying his given name while so delirious with pleasure. It was the only thing he was willing to look past.

He was almost there. Going days without you had only served to feed his hunger for you. But he held off. He wanted to see you finish first.

You looked so gorgeous, completely fucked out under him. Your breasts bouncing under the thin satin as he pounded into you. He lifted your hips and gave a particularly harsh thrust to strike your special spot.

From the way you screamed at the top of your lungs he knew he found it.

Being the sweet angel that you are, you had always been shy about the loud noises you made whenever he had his way with you. Even tried to stifle them. As if he would let you hide such beautiful sounds. He made sure to teach you that you could be yourself, as wild as you wished to be, in the bed you both shared.

When he felt your tight channel clenching around him, now he was the one who couldn’t keep from screaming. He spilled deep inside you rolling his hips to tease your clit.

He pulled your thigh over his hips, snuggling against your back. Gently palming and feeling your breasts and rolling his hips again to settle his soft cock in you in the right angle, to make sure he his seed stayed inside you. So he could be as close to you as he can. Feeling you, smelling you all around him.

You were his and he was yours. He would never let anyone or anything change that.

Tags will be in the reblog! Click the link in the bio to be join the taglist or shoot me an ask/dm.

Comments and feedback are appreciated! ❤❤

Beautiful dividers by @whimsicalrogers.

Please note that my work is not to be reposted or published anywhere other than my Tumblr or AO3 account without my permission. Reblogs are most welcome though!

[roselen-mylady]

the game | part two

Part One

Steve hated to admit it but he had always been a jealous person. As a child he was jealous of the way so many other kids had dads that tucked them in at night. As a teen he was jealous of how easily Bucky made women swoon. As an adult he was jealous of Stark when he attempted to woo Peggy. And now he was jealous because it seemed everyone but himself was able to easily talk and even kiss Y/n.

Oh how badly he had wanted to.

And he almost did during that game of spin the bottle. Yet he'd lost his nerve. And lost his chance.

Thor's laughter had drawn his full attention toward the pair. Not that his eye had ever left Y/n but now the man before him was blatantly being ignored as Steve's entire focus was on Y/n and Thor. He strained to hear whatever was being said by her but he could hardly pay attention as Thor lifted her into the air and spun her around like a princess.

He could've done that.

His blood nearly boiled as he watched Thor kiss her. It was innocent, he knew that, but he just couldn't help it. He was angry at the world and Thor but mostly himself.

Before Thanos he thought he'd have all the time he needed to work up to confessing his feelings for her while she stayed in Wakanda watching after his best friend. But when she was snapped away he realized he had made a horrible mistake. A mistake he regretted every minute of every day during those long five years.

But now he had a chance to fix it.

Yet he hadn't been able to talk to her since she returned. The friendship they'd had before then was bashful but strong yet during her absence he had distanced himself from the idea of her in order to cope.

When she returned all the emotions he felt came rushing back in waves. And he was still blowing it.

•••

"I'm so tired of watching these two pine after one another." Wanda spoke suddenly, making Bucky turn toward her, dragging his gaze away from the pair.

"What do you mean?" Bucky asked, looking back at them as Wanda came to stand at his side, watching them with him.

"You mean you haven't noticed? Y/n's in love with Steve. Steve's in love with Y/n. It's agonizing to watch, really." She sighed, rather vexed with the entire situation. It was her after all who had watched them through the years. They'd known each other ever since before the accords and all that time they'd had an awkward friendship in which feelings were obvious on both ends yet neither had the courage to act.

She hated to imagine how Y/n's death might've affected him but yet it still hadn't given him the will of the courage to act. It pained her to watch the two fall back into their old ways.

"Y/n loves Steve?" Bucky mumbled, disbelief evident in his features. Wanda nodded, her eyes trailing Y/n as she made her way to Peter, who was standing haphazardly close to Steve.

"More than life itself, though she'll never admit it. I saw it when I had to enter her thoughts years ago during a mission we had in Germany." Wanda explained. She remembered the overwhelming feeling of Y/n's emotions. They crashed into her stronger than any wave could and even after all these years they were just as strong.

"Then why haven't they done anything?" Bucky asked. He looked down at her finding the same lost expression on her face that was more than likely on his.

"I don't know. Y/n told me last week the same thing she told me all those years ago. Things are too complicated and she can't risk losing him if he doesn't feel the same." Wanda quoted Y/n, her annoyance seeping through her words.

Bucky scoffed, recognizing the excuse as something very similar to Steve's and he shook his head, feeling the same defeat Wanda did. "Just like them to be too stupid to be happy." He groaned, looking up at them.

"Yeah. But hopefully when he kisses her one of them will do something." Wanda hoped her statement might encourage their boldness.

"Unless it's a repeat of spin the bottle." Bucky said, dreading the chance that it might happen. Wanda cringed, shaking her head.

"Y/n won't allow it. She takes the game too seriously." She replied, more to convince herself than Bucky. It was true. Y/n would get Steve to kiss her whether it was for the win or her own motives. That is if her nerves didn't take over.

"Let's hope."

•••

"Well, if it isn't Spiderman." Y/n called out, grabbing Peter's attention. He smiled brightly, finally being called by his preferred name and not Spiderboy.

"Ms. Y/n! What-what are you doing here?" Peter's sore attempt at small talk made him wince but thankfully Y/n didn't seem to mind, looking down at his glass.

"Just mingling. Whatcha drinking?" She asked curiously, wondering if Tony had allowed the poor boy a drink while dealing with all the people who no doubt asked him millions of questions regarding his presence and age.

"Sprite. Mr. Stark said he can't allow me to 'drink and swing'." Peter adjusted his glass, using his fingers as quotations before letting out a short giggle at the phrase.

Y/n laughed as well, trying to appear relaxed as she felt a certain pair of eyes on her. Steve was standing just a few feet away with Tony, not within earshot but close enough to send butterflies to her stomach. With each kiss she collected she felt more and more anxious knowing eventually she'd reach Steve. Was she ready for that?

"Well, that simply won't do. It's a party, Peter, and I can't allow you to not drink. When I was your age Tony was slipping me drinks left and right, it's only fair I pass on the tradition." She explained, leaning forward carefully as her hand brushed his.

He blushed, his eyes widening like saucers as she skillfully slipped his glass out of his hand, replacing it with her own. Glancing at Tony as if expecting to be caught, he was relieved to find his father figure blissfully unaware of their treachery.

"Ms. Y/n, I really shouldn't-"

"Don't worry, I'll drive you home if you're that worried. I got you bro." Y/n promised, nudging his arm with a kind smile. "Now tell me you've at least tried champagne. You've been to like three of these parties now." She laughed her smile growing as he joined in.

"Yeah, well, I mean a little bit from my Aunt May's glass." Y/n shook her head, putting her hand on his shoulder, a dramatic look of sorrow on her face.

"My poor boy. I have many things to share with you. Speaking of which, Shuri is asking if you're coming with me to Wakanda next week." Y/n sipped the soda watching as Peter's fingers danced happily against his own glass.

"Really?! I mean, of course! If you want me to. I've never been, what's it like?" Peter rambled, his face lit up in excitement, making Y/n chuckle at how thrilled the boy was.

"You'll see soon enough. I'll come get you next Friday and bring your suit, I'm sure Shuri would love to tinker with it." Y/n advised. Peter nodded wildly, psyched for such a trip.

"Thank you, Ms. Y/n." Peter grinned. Y/n wrapped an arm around his shoulders turning him in the direction of where Tony was standing.

"Peter, Y/n is fine. Trust me, I'm one of the few people in this world who know what it's like to have Tony as a father figure and anyone who can handle that is okay in my book." Y/n laughed, pointing at the man in question.

As if sensing their shit talking, Tony turned around, catching sight of them. A suspicious glare was sent their way but Y/n could hardly notice it as another figure stepped into view, following Tony's gaze.

It was then that they were forced to look at one another head on. Not at a glance or a sneaky peek. They might as well have been standing in front of one another as they both froze.

If Y/n's heart decided to stop in that instant, she wouldn't blame it. The pure intensity of Steve's gaze was enough to make her shudder and she fought her every molecule to stare back. There was a warmth in his eyes, one that sent a flutter of giddiness through her.

A small smile crept onto his face and Y/n gasped, forcing herself to return the gesture and not just gawk at him. She was at a loss for words. It was the first time since Thanos that he had given her any sort of acknowledgement. While it hurt that their friendship had seemed to diminish while she'd been gone, she knew that rekindling it was a two way street. But now he was smiling at her. And she was smiling back.

She hadn't realized she'd been holding her breath until Peter stepped in front of her, his hands resting on her shoulders and his brows furrowed in concern. "Y/n? Are you okay?" His voice was soothing and it helped her recover her loss of breath from her moment with Steve.

"Huh? Uh, yeah. I'm fine. Just...uh, thinking." She mumbled, her eyes drifting back to Steve once more. His smile had faltered slightly, his face beginning to match Peter's concern but with a small curve of her lips, she assured him that his worry was senseless.

"About the game?"

"Hmm?" Y/n questioned, directing her attention to the boy once more. Peter eyed his glass carefully before taking a cautious sip.

"The game you play with Ms. Natasha and Ms. Wanda. You're playing, right? I saw you earlier with Thor." He explained. Y/n's face flushed, a little embarrassed that her moment with Thor had been witnessed by someone she knew. What if Steve saw? Would he be jealous?

Y/n nearly shook her head, convincing herself that she wasn't worth being jealous over. Especially to Steve.

"Oh, yeah. We are. That reminds me, you like Star Wars right?" She smirked, looking at him as she sipped his soda, the pink on his cheeks making her giggle.

"Well, yeah, I mean lots of people do. I'm not the only one-that would be weird. Unless you like it, not that you liking it would make it less weird. Not that you're not weird! Weird-"

"Peter!" Y/n laughed, putting her hand on his as she lightly brought the drink down. "Whew boy, maybe alcohol isn't your thing. Then again you've always been a rambler." She gently took the drink back from him, watching as a wave of relief washed over him.

"Have you eaten yet? I think there's hors d'oeuvres around here somewhere." She muttered, glancing around for any servers. Peter shook his head accepting his soda back before looking back up at her.

"No I'm okay, really." He told her, his heart warming at how much she seemed to care. It was nice and he enjoyed his relationship with Y/n. She allowed him to do things with her like travel, patrol, even hang out in the lab and she quickly became another idol of his.

"Are you thinking of watching Star Wars?" He asked her, referring to her previous question. She smiled, shaking her head.

"No, I've already seen it, I'm just thinking of a pick up line for the game. Tonight's rules are if you like my line I get a kiss and I fully intend on winning tonight." Peter nearly choked on air as his eyes widened yet again.

"A kiss? From me?" Y/n giggled, tapping her finger to her cheek.

"Don't get ahead of yourself, Parker. A kiss on the cheek will do." She teased, making his face impossibly redder. He shook his head frantically trying to display as best he could that it wasn't his intention.

"I'm kidding. Now are you ready to hear my cheesy pick up line or will I just have to forfeit?" Peter's head didn't seem to stop shaking as he urged her to continue. "Alright here goes."

"Hey, sweetheart. Do you like Star Wars cause Yoda only one for me." With a wink she smiled, enjoying the scrunch of Peter's nose as he cringed at the line. 

"Not doing it for ya?" She laughed. Peter scoffed, trying to hide the smile that threatened to show.

"I hate to admit it, but it was kinda funny." He sighed, ashamed to have enjoyed such a horrible line. Y/n's grin grew, pointing to her cheek once more.

"Then pay up. I've got two more kisses to collect." Peter smiled, leaning forward and pecking the space her finger had been. "Thank you. Now find someone to mess with. I won't be the only one reeking havoc tonight." She poked a stern finger into his chest. With some convincing he eventually promised to at least pull a prank on Sam and Bucky.

With that she began to make her way to Tony. A knot formed in her stomach as she paced in his direction yet it wasn't Tony who made her nervous. No, only Steve Rogers could make her feel so squeamish and turn her legs to jelly. And she was making her way straight toward him.

Y/n could barely hear the click of her heels and the chatter of those around her over the pep talk she was giving herself in her head. She refused to embarrass herself in front of him. This was going to be her second chance and she wouldn't allow her nerves to ruin it again.

"As I live and breathe! Do I stand before Iron Man and Captain America? I do hope this isn't a dream." Steve's soft chuckle seemed to go straight to her core and she feared her heart might beat right out of her chest.

"Don't encourage her, Cap." Tony grumbled, turning his gaze to Y/n. "Well, if it isn't my favorite niece."

"Your only niece." Y/n corrected, a short glare focused on him as he smirked.

"Let me guess you're here to win the game. Let's hear it so poor Cap here can get a turn. I don't think he's kissed a woman since the 40s." Tony leaned down, whispering the last part and making Y/n giggle.

"Hey!" Steve objected in vain. But what Y/n said next sent any duty to protect his pride out the window.

"That's a crying shame. The ladies must not know what they're missing." Y/n froze as the words left her mouth. What was she thinking? Her face burned and she hid behind her glass trying to muffle her embarrassed groan with her champagne.

"Jeez, get a room." Steve and Y/n both glared at Tony but he didn't seem to care, instead shrugging innocently.

"Alright, here's your line you impatient ass." Y/n scoffed, deciding to use a particularly bad line for the annoying man she dared call her father figure.

"Was that it?" He smirked.

"Shut up, I gotta turn around and approach this again or else it won't work." She hissed, earning a heartfelt laugh from Steve. Twice. She'd made him laugh twice. Her heart was practically singing at the thought. Maybe she'd actually get to kiss him?

With more determination than before, she turned around, taking a few steps away before dramatically turning back to them. Using theatrics she no doubt learned from Tony Stark himself, she put on a smile before holding her arms out in a grand gesture.

"Well I'm here, what's your next two wishes?"

"That was horrendous." Tony said almost immediately while Steve tried to contain his laughter behind them.

"Well, I couldn't very well waste my best lines on you now could I?" Y/n jested, taking the glass in his hand and pouring what remained of his drink into her now empty glass.

Tony's teasing expression fell as he painfully watched Y/n sip her glass. "I can't believe you're related to me." Y/n smiled back at him proudly.

"Only by marriage." She shrugged. Tony sighed, leaning down and pressing a fatherly kiss to her forehead just along her hairline.

"Thank god." He ignored Y/n's squinted stare, turning to Steve. "I think I'm going to go get another drink, since mine was so blatantly stolen." Tony glanced at Y/n who shamelessly smirked.

"But first I wanna hear your pick up line for Cap. Please be something patriotic. Maybe sing him the national anthem." He suggested, nudging Steve forward to where he stood before Y/n.

Not expecting Tony's push, Steve stumbled nearly crashing into Y/n but thankfully he caught himself, only having a redder face than before.

"I'm not sure the national anthem is a pick up line, Tony." Y/n replied, focusing on anything but Steve. At this distance she could smell the familiar cologne and feel the heat radiating from him. It reminded her all too much of the days before the snap. When he'd hold her whenever she was hurt or when he'd pick her up to launch her toward an enemy. Reminded her of the few hugs they'd managed to share.

Reminded her of their last before she dusted in his arms.

"I don't know. He's really horny for America, it might work." Tony refuted, earning a threatening gaze from both Steve and his niece.

"Fine, y'know what? Have privacy or whatever in the middle of this crowded party. See if I care." Tony said, a little butt hurt that he wouldn't be able to witness the awkward exchange first hand.

He was no idiot when it came to his niece's attraction to the super soldier. While at first he disapproved, even more so when it led to her being on the opposite side that day in Berlin, years had led to forgiveness. He couldn't really stay mad at her even if he tried. Only sorry he hadn't apologized before the snap.

"Thank you, Tony." Y/n spoke quietly, sending him a grateful look. Whatever was about to happen already made her nervous, she didn't think doing it with Tony there would be possible.

"Yeah, yeah." He waved a dismissive hand, beginning to walk away.

It wasn't until he had Morgan that he realized he was already a father. Y/n had been his first and no matter his guilt, she would always forgive him. Always need him.

"Don't get carried away." He threatened suddenly, pointing to his eyes before twisting his hand back to them with a menacing squint.

Y/n rolled her eyes, looking back to Steve as Tony finally left.

"He's protective." Y/n explained, trying to be annoyed. It was actually kinda touching the way he cared despite his usual selfish smartass exterior.

"For good reason." Steve agreed, making Y/n's head tilt confused.

"You think I can't take care of myself?" She questioned defensively, ready to prove her worth no matter who he was.

"No, of course you can. Just-..." He trailed off, a sorrowful expression taking hold of his features against his will. "We've both failed you before. Numerous times." Steve confessed, his eyes falling downcast as Y/n realized what he'd meant.

She’d never truly thought about how her absence might have affected him. Before the snap he never gave any hint that he wanted to be more than a friend to her. But now she studied that look in his eye, that one she hadn’t recognized before. Heartbreak. 

"Steve, you didn't fail me." She insisted. Her hand had come to his own, grasping lightly at his loose fingers and ignoring the buzz in her skin and the rapid pace of her heart.

"No, I did. I turned you against your family. I got you arrested. I dragged you back into the fight and...you got snapped away." His voice broke at the end, years of depression and misery washing over him all over again.

"It wasn't your fault. We all lost that day." Y/n argued but her words didn't seem to stick.

"I'll never forgive myself." Steve's words were barely above a whisper, each syllable falling further into him unable to escape.

The sight alone made her heart ache but it was the way he'd spoken that truly shook her. They were the words of a broken man, a man that had lost it all. Had she done that to him? Did he care about her like that? Maybe he was scared too.

“Well, it's a good thing I already did.” Y/n smiled hoping to bring back the smile that she'd been able to give him moments before. Her hand stayed planted to his own more terrified to release it than she was to keep holding it. Would she ever work up the courage to do it again?

Steve looked back up at her, a tender glimmer in his eye as he moved his hand to hold her own. “I missed you.”

The statement alone wasn't nearly enough to convey how much he'd longed for her in those five years, left without any hope of ever getting her back. Didn’t show her the sleepless nights or the endless tears. Didn’t show her first few years he spent, alone and secluded. Didn’t show her how many times he prayed to any god that would listen for them to bring her back. 

But her eyes seemed to tell him that she understood. Y/n knew exactly how he felt even if she'd been relieved of it for five years. She remembered when she was arrested, screaming at the guards that they'd never find Steve. Remembered the sobs that racked through her when he came to free her, relieved he’d made it out of the war safely. Remembered their time on the run, unable to tell him how she felt. Remembered volunteering to stay with Bucky when Steve's worry became too much. Remembered him coming back and bring a war with him. Remembered him catching her before she dusted, too fast for her to tell him her greatest truth. 

She loved him.

“I missed you too.” She said softly, her face burning under his gentle gaze. They’d become so unbearably close at that point, making her breath ragged and her heart race. 

Clearing her throat, she looked away, trying not to reveal how flustered he made her. “So do you wanna hear my pick up line or not?” She once again changed the subject, making Steve smile at her lovingly. 

“Definitely.” He replied. 

“Alright. On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?” She gave him the first one that came to find, silently groaning when she realized she'd done exactly what Tony suggested. Curse their horribly similar minds. 

"That's terrible." Steve chuckled, staring at her with adoration unlike he'd ever done before. She was absolutely perfect in his eyes and he refused to waste anymore time being scared. 

"You didn't like that? I have more." Y/n rambled, oblivious toward Steve's affectionate gaze. "Can I tie your shoes? I don't want you falling for anyone else." 

Steve laughed, shaking his head as he stepping forward and shifting his hand to her waist as he pulled her closer. 

The action on flustered her further, dragging another pick up line out of her. "Or I like your last name, can we share it?" 

Steve's smile grew, his heart swelling with each word. He loved listening to her lines even if they were cheesy. But he was determined now and he wouldn't let either of their nerves stop them anymore. 

"I lost my number, can I have-"

Suddenly he leaned forward, cutting her sentence short as his lips latched onto her own. 

The kiss was so tender she practically melted in his arms, her hand coming to his chest while the other shifted to behind his neck, her fingers filtering through the lower part of his hair. His grip around her waist tightened as his heart pounded under her palms, the aftermath of anticipation rushing through his chest. 

It was effortless the way they molded together and it left him breathless. He couldn't believe he'd never just kissed her before and after believing all these years he'd never get the chance to, he was so grateful to have her now. 

"I've waited too long for that. I think I'm gonna need interest." Y/n gasped as they pulled away her eyes half lidded as she tried to process what had happened. 

"Was that another pick up line?" Steve's brows furrowed, his lips a beautiful shade of darker pink. 

Y/n smiled up at him, pulling him close once more. "Shut up." 

••• 

"Who's gonna tell her she didn't win?" Wanda questioned suddenly, glancing over at Nat. 

Sam raised his hands in surrender, passing off the duty as soon as possible to avoid any type of rage the woman might've wreaked on him. 

"I don't think she'll really care at this point." Nat spoke, pointing a finger toward the couple across the room. 

They didn't seem to care that they were in a room full of people, instead remaining engrossed in each other as they stared at each other lovingly. It was touching really but what Nat assumed to be their confessions had lost Y/n the game. 

"Wait does this mean the games with stop?" Sam questioned suddenly. 

"No, it'll just make them more interesting." Nat smirked.

[aalissy]

Winter Storms and Hot Chocolate

Whew, I'm finally getting another one-shot posted hehe. And it's about Adrienette too!! I love these two dorks soo muchhh <3. I hope you guys like them too :). Lemme know what you think! A sleepy, cuddly Marinette is my fave hehe

AO3

Marinette stood at the door of the bakery, glaring at the snow that was quickly transforming into a fierce blizzard. Turning her phone on, she checked the weather, groaning to herself when she saw that a freak snowstorm was set to happen today.

Marinette bid her parents goodbye with a quick glance over her shoulder before ducking out of the shop. She shivered as soon as she got one foot out the door, the vicious cold already making her wish she was back at home in the warm, comfortable bakery. With a small whimper, she continued down her path, determined to make it to her favorite fabric store. 

The terrible weather had affected her much more since becoming Ladybug and even waking up this morning took her years. Marinette had barely registered the sound of the blaring alarm and needed Tikki to shout at her in order to wake up. Practically stumbling out of her bed, she bundled up into thick fleece, itchy wool, and layers of cotton. Even still, it did little to help the drowsiness coursing through her bones.

Just one second. Let me close my eyes for just a second. I’m only going straight for the next few metres. It’s okay, Marinette thought to herself as the time between her blinks grew longer and longer. She barely realized it when she was walking down the street with her eyes closed. Suddenly, her eyes flew back open when she crashed directly into someone’s chest, the both of them letting out a startled groan. The only reason the two of them were standing upright and hadn’t fallen into a heap on the ground was because of the warm—and welcomingly familiar—grip the person had on her shoulders.

“Marinette?” asked a smooth and recognizable voice. “Are you alright?”

She looked up in surprise, seeing blonde hair and brilliant, green eyes. Her brain worked furiously for a moment, her forehead scrunching as she tried to focus on the boy in front of her. “A-Adrien?” Marinette asked after a few moments of thinking.

“Yeah,” his head tilted curiously. “You look exhausted. Are you trying to get home?”

“No,” she shook her head. “I just left actually. I’m trying to get to the fabric store to get some new stuff for your guys’ Christmas presents.”

Adrien’s brow furrowed as he looked down at her. Eventually, he sighed lightly, throwing an arm around her shoulder as he began leading the two of them somewhere. “Come on, let’s go and get you warmed up first,” he said with a worried smile. “You shouldn’t be stumbling around in the cold like this.”

“Mmm, has anyone ever told you how warm you are?” Marinette murmured blearily, snuggling further into his grasp. The delicious aroma of cinnamon and lavender wafted around her and she squeezed him tighter. 

Buried in his chest as she was, she missed the soft look Adrien gave her. She did hear his deep chuckle, though. “Oh yeah?” he asked. “But no, I don’t think anyone’s ever told me that before.”

“They should. You make a really nice pillow,” she smiled happily, barely aware that she was speaking. Adrien gave another hearty laugh but didn’t respond. 

The two walked in silence for a few more moments, Marinette’s eyes closing fully as she let her crush guide her along, relaxing into his hold. It wasn’t until she heard the sound of a tinkling bell that her eyes were able to open again. She was surprised and greeted by the warm atmosphere of a café. A small smile spread across her face as she took in the welcoming aroma of delicious coffee and hot chocolate. She felt Adrien gesture her forward. 

“After you,” he smiled.

Walking into the cozy building, the designer finally felt a little bit more awake. Stopping suddenly inside the entrance, she snuck a peek back behind her. The model was still standing there, smiling gently at her. Her gaze snapped back forward again, her cheeks flushing a bright red. 

Oh my god, so this isn’t a dream, then? I actually bumped into Adrien and told him he made a good pillow?! No, no, this can’t be happening!! 

Pulling on her pigtails once, Marinette quickly took a seat by the window, gnawing on her lip as she stared out into the snowy world that taunted her. Gulping quietly, she peeked up at Adrien from beneath her lashes as he slid into the seat across from her. He peered back at her, a look of concern on his face. “Are you alright, Marinette?” he asked. "You looked really tired today. Are you sick?”

“Y-yeah, I’m fine. Just sleepy. Winter is really not my season.” She gave him what she hoped was a wide, reassuring smile.

“Is that why you keep falling asleep in class then?” he teased her, his green eyes shimmering playfully.

Marinette’s cheeks darkened and she ducked her head shyly. “Maybe,” she giggled nervously before tapping her index fingers together.

“Hey, it’s alright,” Adrien grinned softly back at her. “I actually know someone else who doesn’t do too well in the cold.”

“Y-you do?” she tilted her head as she looked at him curiously.

“Yeah,” his gaze drifted away from her and out the window as he nodded his head slowly. “One of my best friends absolutely hates the snow.”

“Nino hates the snow, really?” Marinette blinked at him a few times. “I had no idea.”

Adrien chuckled at her, shaking his head, “No, no, not Nino. Nino actually loves the snow. He says it helps his creative process.”

“Yuck, really?” she asked, scrunching her nose at the thought. “I barely get anything done during wintertime. I’m too sluggish.”

“My friend says the same thing!” he exclaimed, eyes brightening as he looked back at her. “She moves so slowly and says that you’re meant to stay at home, buried deep under the covers whenever it starts snowing.”

“Your friend is smart,” Marinette giggled. “I’ve said that exact same thing before.”

Her thoughts drifted back to her partner. Chat Noir was there during the cold, windy nights where she had to brave the winter weather for patrol. He was always equipped with two cups of hot chocolate and a blanket that they shared to warm up before heading off to watch the city. 

With a quiet, happy sigh, Marinette was suddenly hit by a large craving for the hot chocolate Chat always brought for her. So, when their waiter finally arrived, she chirped out her order cheerfully, “One hot chocolate please.”

She was somewhat surprised, however, when Adrien ordered the same thing as her. “I’ll take a hot chocolate too,” he said. “Ooh, and with extra marshmallows, please!”

Marinette’s lips twitched into a small smile. That was similar to her partner too. He always had a large pile of the delicious dessert in his drink. Raising a curious eyebrow at him, she spoke up, “You like marshmallows then?”

“Oh definitely,” Adrien grinned back at her. “They’re delicious! And hot chocolate with marshmallows is the best drink during winter!”

She giggled quietly at him, “Hot chocolate is my favorite too! It completely warms you up when it’s cold! Especially when it’s snowing like today!”

Adrien opened his mouth to speak but was stopped as their drinks reached the table. Marinette smiled thankfully at their waiter before sipping on the delicious beverage. Any last remaining chill that she had been feeling immediately evaporated upon a sip of the hot chocolate. She hummed, taking another large gulp before grinning up at the boy across from her, “Are your marshmallows good?”

“They’re perfect!” he grinned back at her.

There the two sat in the small, warm café, chatting about the latest schoolwork and updates to their favorite game. They both sipped gradually on their drinks, almost as if neither of them wanted to leave. Marinette even congratulated herself over how well she was handling the conversation with her long-time crush. Eventually, though, her gaze was drawn over to her phone where she gasped at the time. She needed to get back soon! She still had homework due later today!

“I’m so sorry, Adrien,” she said as she scrambled for her purse in a panic. “I lost track of time! I need to get home and I still don’t have any of the material I need! I’ve gotta go!”

“It’s okay, I’ll walk you,” he waved their waiter back over who he handed a few Euros over to.

“Oh no, no! It’s okay! I can pay for my half at least,” Marinette frowned over at him.

Adrien merely gave her a reassuring smile, shaking his head, “No, it’s fine. I dragged you in here so the least I can do is pay for your hot chocolate. Consider it an early Christmas gift,” he winked at her.

Turning a bright shade of pink, Marinette gulped quietly, trying to ignore the implications that this was a date. “O-ok,” she stuttered slightly as she stood up. “B-but you don’t have to walk me over. I’ll be fine by myself, really.”

“It’s no problem, Marinette! I don’t have anywhere else to be and I don’t want you passing out in the middle of a street,” he teased her.

Her blush darkened as she mumbled, “Okay.”

After that was decided, they walked to the front entrance, with Marinette taking a big gulp of air before heading out into the cold winter storm. Almost instantly, the warmth that she had gained from the café left her. Yawning quietly, she nuzzled into Adrien’s side, enjoying the heat it granted her. He leaned down to talk to her, causing his warm breath to brush against her ear, “Where are we going, Marinette?”

“Huh?” she blinked up at him slowly before her eyes widened in realization and she looked around. “O-oh, we should take a left here, and then it should be straight ahead.”

“Got it,” he murmured back at her before taking her hand in his. Her blue eyes shot open at that, looking up at him confusedly with a deep, red blush. Adrien merely shrugged at her, winking again. “I don’t want you to get lost.”

“R-right,” Marinette gulped, turning away from his glimmering eyes to look at their surroundings. Shivering as another cold snowflake hit her face, she clutched Adrien’s hand like a lifeline, breathing out a quiet sigh of relief when they finally spotted the fabric store. When they entered the building, she let go of his hand to instead point a finger at him. Ignoring the feeling of loss she felt as her hand left his warm grasp, she spoke sharply, “No peeking! I don’t want you guessing what your gift is!”

“I understand, Marinette,” Adrien chuckled, grinning down at her.

Shooting him one last suspicious glance, she turned to look at the rows of fabric in the store. Quickly, she pulled out three different colors for her friends, deciding on orange for Alya, dark green for Nino, and a bright red for Adrien. Marinette headed up to the front counter to pay for the three fabrics with a quiet, frustrated breath. 

With them safely tucked into a bag and away from enquiring eyes, she looked around for Adrien. She eventually found him looking at a row of fabric, awe clear in his eyes. Clearing her throat, she stepped toward him. “Are you ready to go Adrien?”

“Yeah,” he snapped out of his daze and brought his gaze over to her before shaking his head with wonder. “I just don’t know how you do it, Marinette. How you turn this into beautiful clothes. You’re amazing.”

“O-oh thank you,” Marinette blushed for what felt like the hundredth time that day. “I-it’s just years of practice, I guess. I was pretty bad when I started out.”

“I find that hard to believe,” Adrien said as he came over to take her hand once again. Together they walked to the front of the store. “Are we heading to the bakery now, or did you have another errand to run?”

She shook her head quickly. “N-no, I’m going home now. B-but, Adrien, you don’t have to walk me there. You’ve done a lot for me already. Seriously, thank you! I don’t want to take up the rest of your night.” “I already told you that it’s fine, Marinette. I want to make sure you get home safely. Besides, I could really go for a croissant right now,” he beamed down at her before pushing the door open. Groaning as the wind blew against her face, Marinette instantly turned to Adrien for some form of warmth. Her crush chuckled softly before murmuring, “I don’t have anywhere else to be.”

Her heart practically flip-flopped at that, butterflies erupting in her stomach. She glanced up at him to give him a soft smile, mouthing thank you at him. Why does he have to be so cute? It’s just not fair, she practically whined in her thoughts. 

With her nestled into his side as she was, Marinette barely noticed when they finally arrived back at the bakery. She only realized she was home after Adrien leaned down to whisper to her, “We’re here.”

“We are?” She peeled an eye open that she didn’t even remember closing. Slowly, they both blinked open as she realized that they were, in fact, at the entrance to the bakery. “Oh, we are!” she exclaimed.

Adrien chuckled at her before wrapping his arms around her in a tight hug. “Thanks for hanging out with me today Marinette. I had a great time.”

“N-no!” she stammered as she hugged him back. “Thank you for hanging out with me! I don’t think I would have made it home without you. Seriously, Adrien thank you .” Marinette leaned up on her tip-toes to brush a kiss against his cheek. Her cheeks flamed as she set back down on the ground, giving him a wide smile.

“It was no problem, really.” He rubbed the back of his neck shyly.

“W-well at least come inside so you can warm up and I can make you that croissant you wanted.” Her smile widened into a beam as she held the door open for him.

Adrien stepped inside the bakery as she followed after him, happy butterflies dancing in her chest. I’m so glad this wasn’t a dream and I did actually stumble into Adrien! Best day ever! Maybe ... maybe I can confess to him today ...

Chewing on the edge of her lip nervously, she walked towards the boy conversing happily with her parents. He turned around to greet her when she approached with a large, beaming smile. “Hey, Marinette! Your parents made us some croissants! Do you want to head upstairs and eat them with me?”

As his head tilted at her adorably, she felt her heart thump rapidly in her chest. Sucking in a deep breath for courage, she nodded. “S-sure, Adrien. That would be great!”

“Cool!” he said with a boyish grin, taking her hand in his as he tugged her up the stairs.

Barely stifling a quiet squeak, Marinette let Adrien guide her upstairs, briefly catching a glimpse of her parents’ knowing smiles. He let go of her hand when they entered the living room, sitting on her couch and patting the spot next to him. 

Giving Adrien a shy smile, she settled down by him, avoiding his glimmering, emerald green eyes. Her hands tore into her croissant as she tried to summon every last ounce of bravery she had. Come on, Marinette! You can do this! I believe in you , she thought to herself determinedly.

Turning to Adrien with one last deep gulp of air, she blurted out almost in perfect unison with him, “I have something to tell you!”

The two blinked at each other for a moment before bursting into laughter. In between giggles, Marinette wheezed out, “Y-you go first.”

Adrien gave a small but decisive nod before he leaned in closer to her. His eyes seemed to scan their surroundings warily before he looked back at her seriously, a hint of fear and worry dancing in his gaze. Slowly, his hand came up to cover hers, giving it a soft squeeze. Marinette gulped once nervously before he cleared his throat and stuttered out, “I-I know who you are.”

A deep frown creased her brow. “What?”

“I-I didn’t mean to! I swear ! It all happened so quickly! One second I had detransformed and was about to leave when you came barreling in! And I tried to hide, really I did! I hid behind a dumpster and covered my eyes but then your kwami said your name and then I guess I just knew,” Adrien spoke quickly, his eyes searching her gaze hopefully. 

Marinette sat frozen on the couch, her mouth wide open in horror. Trembling slightly, she stuttered out, “A-Adrien, I-I don’t understand. W-what are you talking about?! A kwami ... what’s that?”

“It’s okay, Marinette. You can trust me,” he said with a small, anxious smile, “Besides, I know you know what a kwami is because you were once Multimouse.”

“Multimouse,” she frowned at him, “But you weren’t... wait!”

She gasped in shock as Adrien merely nodded his head at her. “At your service, m’Lady.”

“Oh my god, you’re such an idiot!” Marinette shrieked at him, “We’re not supposed to know our secret identities.”

“I know and I’m sorry but I mmph—!” She cut Adrien off with a passionate kiss, relaxing as he melted into their embrace. 

Eventually, she pulled back, glancing up at him from beneath her lashes. “That was what I wanted to tell you, by the way.”

“Wha ... huh?!” Adrien blinked down at her dumbly.

Marinette giggled shyly, rolling her eyes, “I wanted to say that I love you, Adrien. Ever since you handed me that umbrella, I’ve been yours.”

A slow, wide smile stretched across his face before he hugged her tightly to his chest. Adrien connected their lips together once more before breathing out, “I love you too, Marinette.”

[jiminrings]

the volleyball shorts

pairing: jungkook x y/n

wordcount: 5k

glimpse: coach koo’s just dying to know what his present is, you’re panicking because you can’t think of a present, and jimin and the gang tolerate jungkook a little bit better because it’s his special day :D // contains smut + gif isn’t mine!!

notes: happy birthday jungkook!!! i baked brownies irl for you u should come over sometime!!!

if you’ve read most valuable, the piece that started it all, then you knOw what i’m alluding to with jungkook and his relationship with y/n’s volleyball shorts!!

you swear,,

you could even really SWEAR on the brand-new refrigerator that you need to knock twice on to see what it contained that you split the price with jimin

and forcibly with also jungkook because he stays over so much at yours and jimin’s place that he’s basically a roommate now

and alsO forcibly with taehyung and yoongi because apparently your apartment is now everyone’s gathering place and they raid and inhale ur fridge atleast 72 times per day that the electricity bill’s gone up

that yesterday, it was just a month away from jungkook’s birthday!! you swear!!

and two hours ago, it was two weeks away!!

AND NOW

you can’t really digest the truth

that it’s just f i v e days away now

and you have zero thoughts to how you’re gonna throw jungkook his birthday bash :D

the guys probably figured that out too lol because they have an idea to how you’d be all over the place for even something miniscule

like one time you and jimin bought two rugs you couldn’t decide upon then you just agreed that you’d fit it underneath the coffee table and whichever looks ugly, you’ll return it later

but then the two rugs ended up being too pretty that you couldn’t decide nOW

and jupiter barked out of the blue and it was a eureka moment because :D aHA jimin what if we just let jupiter pick out the rug?? then that way it’s fair???

but then jupiter ended up lying on bOTH the rugs and now you were distraught

jimin was reassuring you like eH it’s okay let’s just go about our days and not spend y’know :D all our time trying to figure out what to pick :D

and then you obviously refused and you stayed up the whole night picking a goddamn rug and jimin was so close to toppling over in fear when he went to grab water at three in the morning

anyways

that’s why they’re here!!! even before you could call and gather them up when jungkook had to leave by himself to settle some things because he’s the coach,,

even before you could text tae and yoongi to take the elevator, they’re already knocking at your door

“...”

“......”

everyone’s just looking at each other in this makeshift circle you’re all in around the coffee table

even jupiter’s stopped barking and he’s been barking for the past five minutes at the new cactus succulent that jimin bought!!!

they’re waiting

waiting for that —

“I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO FOR JUNGKOOK I’M SUCH A BAD GIRLFRIEND A-AND-“

aha

meltdown

“not to stir the pot, but jungkook always zones out at practice and even during games then gIGGLES to himself!! and when i ask him why, he says that he’s just thinking about what you’re getting him for his birthday!!”

jimin shudders at that too because whew

like he knew that koo sometimes talks to inanimate objects but man his superior (albeit younger) is out here imagining his birthday present in the middle of a neck-and-neck game

he’s conversing with himself like he’s talking to you and that just makes him speechless

“kook buddy i haven’t played volleyball competitively in like two years but i sUGGEST you focus or else i will spike you haha jk but no really ahaha :))”

“not to stir the pot too, but jungkook asked me to play happy birthday. on the snare. happy birthday. ON THE SNARE.”

this time, it’s taehyung’s turn to shudder

because he got a new head that’s louder and more tear-resistant and he wanted to try it out ok

and what better way to try that than when it’s in one of your practice games??

he has his drumsticks already lifted but then out of nowhere jungkook pOps out with a cheeky grin on his face and tae almost pokes him in the eye

“how many syllables are your name, tae?”

“... are you really asking me this?”

“yeah!! how many?”

“... three, jungkook. what, do you need ME to count yOUR syllables for you??”

oh my god that is such a stupid question

but it’s coming from jungkook so lmao tae isn’t all that surprised

“what’s three plus twenty?”

“i get that you’re an athlete but don’t you kNOW how to count???”

“hyung what’s three plus twenty??”

“... twenty-three....”

tae’s so close to narrowing his eyes because if this is another one of jungkook’s lame pranks then he’s gonna whack him in the head for this

but then all of a sudden jungkook jUMPS and squeals before clapping his hands

“twenty-three days before my birthday!! quick quick play happy birthday for me nOW :D”

that’s so... chilling

“now not to stir the pot even further, but y/n,,, baby,,, why didn’t you brainstorm earlier??”

yoongi goes straight-in for the kill and it’s his version of “i told you so” but that does not make it better whatsoever

that’s the thing you don’t know either!!!!

and it’s totally your fault and you shouldn’t have been complacent because now you’re paying the repercussions of cramming AND panic-sweating!!!

it’s okay!

you got this! :D

“how about some more black shirts??” tae pitches in and it’s a resounding no from you and the assistant coach

“jungkook has enough of those,, even jimin and i can take a dozen from his stash and it won’t even make a dent!!”

jimin’s racking his brain and he hasn’t thought about something this hard but ok fine anything for you

“new chunky shoes?? but uGH he already has too many of those-“ that makes him groan even harder because buying another pair for kook means him tripping over them

not to mention that the shoe rack is now taken over by jungkook atleast 50%

and once again jimin reiterates <3 this is the y/n and jimin apartment and nOT the y/n and jimin and this dude that dOESN’T pay rent apartment

yoongi’s in deep thought as everyone around him throws ideas around

okay dOn’t tell anyone but yoongi’s now getting into bullet-journaling :D

tae just gave him a dotted notebook one day because he accidentally bought a dozen instead of one from amazon so lol here hyung u like writing right???

by writing, yoongi meant scribbling haphazardly and waking up the next day and trying to decipher his own handwriting

but then he came over to your apartment and you bought pastel highlighters because they were on sale and nOT because you needed them and you wanted to try them out!!! but jungkook was sick that time and you needed to make soup :((

“yeah ok leave it to me,, i’ll swatch it for you or something.,.,.”

one thing led to another and :D AHA

yoongi blackmailed everyone to not say a single word to anyone that he now loves bullet-journaling and he had to whack tae one time when he kept teasing him

also he now has a bujo account on instagram and it’s nearing 5k followers omg and he will d-word when someone irl finds out that it’s him

“boxers.”

yoongi says seriously and it makes everyone shut up because he sounded sO sure

he just has this certain authorative aura around him that you wavered because oH right yes boxers,,, will buy,,,, thank you

lol but you snapped out of it

“jungkook already has too many boxers!! he likes basketball shorts more nowadays and-“

“what? who said the boxers were for jungkook??” yoongi scrunches his nose at your ridiculous reply

your eyes are squinted so hard as you try to decipher the flow of thoughts of everyone in this circle

“oh. i want boxers. want them for christmas!! take note, y/n.”

oh

okay

cool

good news: you now know what you’re gonna give to yoongi on christmas

bad news: you dON’T know what to give to your boyfriend on his birthday five days from now

there’s something somewhere in the middle of all the banter that you’ve tuned out though

something that just makes your eyes bulge and hit whoever’s lap is beside you repeatedly (first of all it’s jimin’s for the record and second oW THAT HURTS) with a grin on your face before you hurriedly stand up and they equally as hurriedly do after

“i know what to get!!”

jungkook’s stArting to get antsy if he’s being honest

it’s not because he’s in his own apartment with you after so long he’s stayed over at yours

he really doesn’t mind that bit, no

jimin, tae, and yoongi were all staying over at your apartment instead as they make the last bit of preparations for jungkook’s birthday the next day!!

they all insisted that you rest because you’ve been so frantic the last couple of days and tbh even taehyung hyped of tWO cups of coffee can’t keep up

no — jungkook’s so antsy because he doesn’t know what you have in store for him :((

for the last five days you haven’t touched him nor did you let him touch you :((

a heated makeover that’s cut too short is as far as it could only go and he’s just so????

like is that a part of your birthday surprise or nOT

he has a love-hate relationship with surprises now because first of all,,,

he kNOWS that there’s gonna be a surprise and that excites him

but the worst of it all is that he knows there’s a surprise but he doesn’t know what it is

that’s like uhm

standing fifty feet away and being forced to pick between a lifetime supply of sugar and salt that’s placed into jars but u don’t know which is which

that is such an odd example to compare it to but that’s only what jungkook could process this now oKAY

you still let jungkook cuddle you so he guesses he could still touch you

he could rest his hand on your tummy!!!

but riGht when he’s about to sneak in a lil squeeze at your boob over your shirt then that’s when you slap his hand away and he frowns

just some hOURS left and it’s finally his birthday!!! he’ll just nuzzle to your neck and all would be fine :)

the lil party’s gonna be thrown in jungkook’s apartment anyways because as you’ve all come to known:

his apartment’s bigger than the one you and jimin share and that irks him because!!!

“yOU have the bigger and better aprtment why are you still cramping at ours???”

“i like staying with you guys!!!”

“nO you like staying with y/n and i come in handy when you need to steal someone’s pasta from!! i bought you tupperware and wrote your name on it but you still eat from mINE!!”

now everyone has their designated roles

jimin’s in charge of making the lasagna and he takes great pride in arranging the layers neatly and not half-assing the amount of cheese

taehyung had the great idea of wAIT what if they don’t like lasagna?? (jimin was offended by that omg who wouldn’t like my lasagna are u kiddinG)

so what he did was bring over this foldable table :D lay cups of ramen neatly :D decorate jungkook’s kettle because he realized that it looks like dOlphin when you tilt it sideways :D

and it’s now tae’s ramen station and so far the party-goers are LOVING it and it’s a close tie between him n jimin

yoongi’s in charge of food that the other two didn’t bother to think about basically

you locked jungkook in his own room lmao and had to bribe him with a kiss or two to stay there and not leave until you tell him to

you’re in charge of the decoration and not to toot ur own horn or anything but you did a pretty damn good job :D

there’s foil balloons you had to blow up and decorate meticulously

lol jimin accidentally bought the wrong ones so now it’s JUNGK00K instead of JUNGKOOK

you even learned how to fold paper cranes so u could fold the quantity of them to jungkook’s age for yoongi to stick them up to the ceiling

you EVEN bought blackout curtains and a lil disco light!!! that’s how well-put you were despite cram-planning!!

it was time to let out jungkook because the guests were starting to come in

and oh my gOD jungkook does clean up well..,.. wow

he’s dressed himself in just a white button-up but with the sleeves folded and some buttons left alone

thEn it’s the same black jeans but with a fancy belt he only pulls out whenever he goes to prissy parties!!!

and oh god

oh my

it’s his slicked hair that’s showing his forehead and tHAT’S when it sinks in you that oh.,.,. right.,.. jungkook’s growing his hair out and he’s been in a cap this past week and OH

it only hits you that oh.,.. jesus christ.,.,. jungkook has a mULLET

it’s a mullet-type of situation and it’s part-straight and part-wavy and wOW

you want nothing more but to pounce on him and it makes you audibly gUlp

jungkook’s as surprised as you were of him because w-wait a second

ok you’re wearing your favorite white shirt with the print on it that you wear at home!! he isn’t surprised

but are you wearing vOLLEYBALL SHORTS.,.,..

like as in the same volleyball shorts... that he..... adores..... a-and fantasizes over

oh my god everybody shut up

is that-

is that hIS OLD VARSITY JACKET????

the one with Jeon embroidered in the back and the one he wore to death that it still has his scent on it even if you washed it clean???

.... oh

that uH that makes jungkook put a hand over his chest

god im coming up

the party was an absolute bLAST!!

you and jungkook would stray from each other time to time because you’re each whisked away to talk but you’d always find each other after

you cAn’t contain yourselves at the sight of one another

kook keeps putting his arm around your waist and you keep squeezing his forearm

over-all it was such a great party 20/10

the girls chipped in to buy their coach jungkook (u put the idea in their head and they were amazed because they didn’t think of it) a smartwatch and he was so :D upon receiving it because wOah!!! omg he’s now a smartwatch owner sUck that kim namjoon

kim wears these fancy analog watches still and that makes jungkook roll his eyes because yEa that may be a rolex but my team did obliterate yours lmaOoo what about that huh

jimin’s gift was very heartwarming no matter how much he denies it to be

first he bought jungkook matching slippers with him because he’s so irked to see jungkook in chunky sneakers aLL the time

then uhm

an official key to the apartment and a written letter that when the two of your drive back,,, you could all do a handprint at the picture frame with the four of you and that’s jupiter’s paw included

you’re not gonna lie that dID make you tear up a little bit because wow :((( jimin used to be hesitant of jungkook at first but nOw he’s officially welcoming jungkook in with no anger whatsoever

kook also did cry a lil bit and they hugged it out

taehyung hand-knitted a blanket for jungkook with lil dolphins on them

he missed some stitches but he did his best oKAY and koo was so excited because wow omg this is so good!!!

yoongi bought jungkook a guitar because yeah.,.,. u dO get into my nerves sometimes but i care for you and i guess you’re my little brother now :)) i don’t make the rules

and as for your gift

... well

everyone’s already left and it’s just the two of you now finally

jungkook’s sat at the edge of the bed patiently because you’re fishing for the paper bag you’ve hidden and he’s sO on edge alright

he’s closed his eyes and you didn’t even tell him to so he’s THAT obedient

“you can open them now,” you’re sat on jungkook’s lap and it’s quite the tease for you to be perched near to his knees instead of his crotch but oK he won’t complain yet

it’s a box??

oh

... oH

“that’s for me??”

jungkook awes immediately when he opens to box and sees shiny silver gleam right up at him

it’s the matching thick necklace and bracelet he’s been eyeing for quite some time now yet refUses to buy

and here it is!!!! right in his hands!!!

“yes and they dOn’t allow refunds so please just wear them and don’t make yourself guilty!!”

you’re taking it from his hands and he’s smiling giddily when you clasp the cool jewelry around his neck and on his wrist

cute

and now it’s time for —

“i’m sleepy. are you sleepy yet?”

you do your part in messing with jungkook as you stifle a yawn, pretending to arrange things around the room before settling near him at the edge of the bed

he almost gives himself whiplash to look at you because you can NOT be serious

“no you’re not. you aren’t sleepy. your eyes tear up when you wanna go to bed.”

it’s endearing for you that he knows thay but you just continue to deadpan for the time-being

“i do? well i think i’m tearing up now.”

jungkook scoffs and crosses his arms across his chest because nO your eyes are dry!!!! look at them!!!! not a single tear!!!!

he’s looking at you so pointedly that it makes you chuckle, finally sitting down on his lap properly like he wanted you to that it makes him grunt

jungkook hasn’t had any decent action for a week now and even the slightest contact of you sitting on him, still-clothed, already makes him cRUMBLE

the thought that you’re in your volleyball shorts doesn’t help at all

it’s nice seeing him so flustered and willed right now,, his pupils already blOwn out and you haven’t even done anything

jungkook’s beautiful and that isn’t up to debate but even more-so up close that you could hear his labored yet trembling breathing

“you wanna kiss me?”

that dOES it for him and he almost leaps at the question but that’s when you pull back to which he audibly whines

:D

you come back again but it’s you who initiates it and jungkook practically melts at the taste of your mouth, already getting handsy as he squeezes at your thighs

he’s the one who’s gaining the upper hand and that was nOT the plan so that’s why you pull away right when he’s getting drunk on you

he’s chasing after your lips and you practically tut at him condescendingly that makes him huff again

“say please.”

aHA

jungkook’s eyes widen at that and he scoffs in disbelief because oh my god so tHIS is what you’re doing

now this is what he makes you say

and you never got him to say please because whenever you urge him to he just laUGHS upfront and it makes you pout

no jungkook’s not gonna do —

his giggling’s cut short when you let your mouth wander to his neck and right on to his sweet spot, immediately sucking on it harshly to paint your mark on

there’s slow kisses on his jugular nexy and you won’t do the same as what you did to him the first time and it’s frUstrating

add on to that with how you remind him you’re still on his lap with you grinding on him tOO pain-achingly slow

ok jungkook might say please after all

you’re coming back up to his jaw again and kissing everywhere but his lips that it’s starting to make him cave

“pl-“ he stops himself because oh gOd is he yielding but that’s when you snap too smoothly right on him, the intimate yet clothed feeling of you enough to make him moan in distress

“please?”

it’s instant relief when you’re back to kissing jungkook again and he might just bURST at this point and you’ve only been kissing him

tasting your lips is his first priority and breathing’s his second that it makes you chuckle with how needy he is, having to push him off because you know he’s getting light-headed

jungkook’s regaining his breath and he still wants mORE unsurprisingly

you’re taking off his shirt and stripping off his pants that leaves him with his boxers but on the other hand, you’re sTILL fully-clothed sans the varsity jacket

he’s about to do something with that which explains his grabby hands trYing to take off your shirt

but his hands not only get slapped away again, you’re pINNING them down back to the bed

“y/n i swear-“

he’s growing restless because he needs you right here and right now but you’re just tOO stubborn and bossy which is definitely a switch of roles

you grind on him a little too roughly than you intended to but the feeling’s more than welcome because you feel so fULL already and it makes jungkook unintentionally thrust into you

your shorts are feeling more than damp and his boxers are being a little tOo tight now

that’s when you lift yourself up from his crotch and let go of his hands, your face dangerously near his as his pupils shake

jungkook’s clearly looking at your centre and he whines when you still (purposely) won’t get what he’s trying to say

he’s always clearly had a vision of eating you out in your volleyball shorts that’s for sUre

but he didn’t imagine it like this and you know what he’s not complaining his hips try to buck up but to no avail, your finger hooked underneath his chin to make him look at you again

jungkook looks sO fucked out and he knows that far

he cries like a lost puppy with how you press your thumb to his bottom lips, your other hand making soothing circles on his chest

“you want a taste?” you ask ever so gently and that makes kook nod more than eagerly, about to pull you by your thighs and his mouth’s wAtering just by thinking about it

it’s the tut you give him again that makes him succumb, throat strained as he trains his pleading eyes on you for permission

“p-please?” jungkook’s too impatient to wait for an answer as he roughly grabs you to position your clothed core right above his face, immediately pressing his nose to inhale the scent of you with his lips ghosting your already-soaked folds — something so obscene about it that it almost makes your knees buckle, “that’s a g-good boy.”

he’s rELISHING on the slip of your tongue and he wastes no times in taking off your shorts, diving in with an eager tongue that takes you off-guard

now this is the real deal

jungkook takes mUCH pleasure in giving you yours and the unhinged and dirty moans you’re giving him are egging him on further

you taste so sweet and it’s enough to make him dizzy with how you’re opened up to him and for him only

he has a death grip on your thighs because you keep twitching and on the other hand he’s cravinG for you to take everything he’s giving you

he slips his hand to thumb at your clit in desperate circles and god the countdown to when you’re gonna reach your peak becomes alarmingly too near

jungkook doesn’t stop when you’re tugging at his hair roughly or when you’re yelling out his name like a mantra

jungkook doesn’t stop either when his face from the nose down is starting to get messy with the taste of you

doesn’t stop either when he’s starting to see your eyes become glassy and your lip trembling

absolutely doesn’t stop when you snap suddenly and gush over him because in fact, he still continues with much more fervor

jungkook was messy and kept lapping up at what you were giving him that’s enough to drive you into anoTher orgasm with how sensitive you are

holy fuck

jungkook’s laughing against your neck as you’re draped over him, making flowers bloom on your neck with his tongue as he makes you catch your breath

“there’s still another gift i haven’t showed you.”

okay nOW you’re nervous

kook stops pressing kisses and your words obviously make him perk, trying to hide his fascination and excitement but that’s poorly-done with how he’s trying to hide it

“you have mORE?? think y’already gave me heaven if i’m being honest”

he wouldn’t be opposed because honestly speaking his stamina as of the moment would last him aLL night and he’s on a high just from eating you out!!

oh my god you can’t possibly fall in love more with jungkook

you’re tracing the sweat that’s going down on the necklace and it makes you go lightheaded with how perfect he looks

the imprint of his bracelet’s marked snug on your left thigh with how hard he was gripping you earlier

he’s patiently waiting and waiting on you, drumming his fingers on your thighs in anticipation

here goes nothing!!!!

you take off your shirt and aHH jungkook visibly moans at the sight of a bare you

he’s right you are the present

but nO that’s not what you’re trying to get at

jungkook has his wandering hands taken down for the nth time this week but something about this feels a bit more special and reserved

he’s a little lost when you get off from him and instead sit beside him against the pillows, still kneeling on the bed so you could be higher than how he’s sat right now

he is mORE than lost when you smile at him gently and take his hand to —

oh

oh my god

oH MY GOD

it’s a tattoo

it’s a tiny and dainty tattoo on your rib in black ink

JJK

“jjk? that’s-“

holy fucking sHIT

everybody shut up!!!

everybody pLEASE be quiet jungkook needs a moment rn

it’s his initials

in his handwriting

on your skin.

oh my god

you’ve always adored jungkook’s tattoos i mean it’s nOt a surprise for anyone

they peak from time to time but sometimes they get covered with his coach jackets and his hoodies

and it’s at home where you can see them all

there’s a little inkling in the back of your head that oOH you’ve always wanted one like what he has

what was holding you back was that maybe it would affect your career or whatever

you and jimin read the guidelines for a whole hour and it wasn’t illegal for players to have tattoos!!!

as long as it doesn’t go against the rules and it won’t hinder your play

tattoos on the wrist or in between the fingers or in the forearm were a little risky because it’s always in direct contact with how you play

jimin was all thumbs-up on your idea because he himself has a couple of tattoos and was all wOah that’s so sweet!!!

taehyung was very warm with your idea and he swears that he’ll get one soon just give him some tIME to conceptualize what would his first one be

yoongi agreed and he alsO has tattoos himself and he was the most realistic (?) out of the four of you going “well you and jungkook better not break up lol”

he thought of it more and honestly?? he doesn’t see you and jungkook breaking up because there’s just sOMETHING alright??? something so unbreakable

jimin and taehyung and yoongi made a bet when you were getting your tat cleaned up that lmao what year would jungkook propose in

it’s your first tattoo and like you didn’t want to dive in head first and have a whole sLEEVE tattooed on the first occassion ya know

so why not the one you love?

and like it’s hidden by a shirt and obviously not a LOT of people would know about it and —

oh wow

uhhhh

jungkook’s.... crying?

he loves you sO much you have no idea

you’re tasting the salt from his tears when he kisses you so tenderly but it’s okay you don’t mind

he’s the one pinning you down this time and well he used to swear that he’s nEver the one for giggly sex

but oh god look at him now

mAYBE THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU’RE HAPPY AND ON CLOUD NINE!!!

he has your hands flat against the mattress before he holds them :D

this is jungkook’s best birthday eVER 

“wanna spend all my birthdays with you.”

you instantly giggle to his neck and that tickled him a little bit okay

“you wanna marry me??”

you’re feeling everything at once and you have never grinned sO hard and laughed

jungkook rolls his eyes but that’s only because he might burst if he keeps looking at you

“well i don’t have the ring yet dummy but yEs i do want to marry you!!”

mrs. jeon!!!

wow that sounds hEAVENLY

you raise your head to whisper to his ear, leaning down for you instead so you wouldn’t strain yourself, “say please.”

“i hATE you,” jungkook cackles and it should be illegal to how warm and content he feels!! 

“you love me!!” there’s a lil sing-song voice and of cOURSE he does!!

he’s so whipped for you and he might go to the ends of the earth just because you insist

“solid facts.”

“my god—“ jungkook stills, laughing at you who’s underneath him before he breaks out into a grin

a little tiny ᵏᶦˢˢ on your nose

“what was life before you?”

[juminsqrincess]

RFA + saeran’s petnames headcannons

GENDER NEUTRAL 

something small to start the blog off hehe~ here are the RFA’s and saeran’s (minus v because i literally haven’t played his route or looked at him HJGHGJ sorry-) favourite pet names to call you: (minor spoilers for saeran)

yoosung:

not gonna lie, poor baby yoosung is probably the one *being* called the pet names most of the time; but after a while he does start to get more comfortable and less anxious and flusterable (is that word? LMAO) when giving affection to the MC. he starts off very slowly, calling you the pet names when you’re both sleepy, or when you’re focused on a game with him, so you don’t notice it too much (though his face still reddens in anticipation to your reaction) and then pet names become a more natural thing for him, and just start slipping out- especially if you give him a positive reaction because he just wants to see you happy! 

pet names include: - honey (delivered with a cheesy grin, he thinks he’s all smooth and classy) - bubby (literally just baby but with extra yoosung sweetness added - it started out as something he used in his sleepy voice and then you picked up a liking to it- it still kind of embarrasses him)  - birdie (likes the concept of you being all small and fluffy- *is small and fluffy*- yoosung’s version of the classic pet name ‘dove’) - snuggles (definitely WAS NOT the name of his old teddy bear that he MAYBE still keeps as a SECRET to cuddle when he misses you-) - his little pogchamp

zen:

pet name GOD - shamelessly started using pet names as SOON as you two hit it off, this man is a pet name machine he has TRICKS UP HIS SLEEVE. bro. he uses as many pet names as he can to figure out your weak spots and then TAKES ADVANTAGE OF THIS KNOWLEDGE. it boosts his ego to see you flustered because of him of course - though he wants you to feel special too! he has a few favourites listed here with special meaning~

pet name include: - babe/jagi/jagiya (duh bro?? its like canon or sum) - beautiful/handsome/gorgeous - whatever suits you most~ (NEED I SAY MORE? SOMEONE AS BEAUTIFUL AS HIM WILL ONLY BE WITH SOMEONE EQUALLY AS GOOD-LOOKING?? he also give constant compliments be warned) - cutie (wholesome zen moment) - good-lookin’ (said as he casually pulls you in by the waist to kiss your forehead, wow zen you’re so smoo0th) -  sexy (IT’S THE BEAST BRO)

jaehee:

unfortunately none of us have really seen jaehee’s more lovey-dovey side in the game - she probably prefers calling you by your name the most, and she speaks it almost like it’s a praise, but the odd time she calls you pet names just as a way to appreciate you, or to remind you that she cherishes you. does it very casually and naturally, she’s quite a steady-paced girl so she needn’t force pet names to come, they just do whenever the moment calls for it really.

pet names incluude: - love  - darling (you are dear to herr!! she’s so busy all the time - moments with you are cherished and precious - you’re like a pocket of hope and sunshine in such a grey world full of deadlines and schedules... someone she can truly relax with!) - beloved - dear(est) - sweetheart (BCS. YOU. ARE. SO SWEET! you’re always looking out for her and being so patient with her as she works - you have a heart of gold, and she admires how kind you are to the RFA members - she’s truly lucky to have won a place in your heart <3)

jumin:

this man. this man is so nonchalantly smooth. he doesn’t even know it - or maybe he does - you can’t tell because he’ll just slip in a pet name mid-convo and make you mELT. when he gets soft... pet names are maybe one of his favourite things to tell you, because he gets to show you his more vulnerable and affectionate sides. he uses pet names as a way to spoil you - and spoil you he does because HIS VOICE *IS HEAVEN*, and the light kisses and touches he places on you as he speaks to you so fondly are a BIIG BONUSS. it takes him a while to start using more ‘personalized’ pet names - he sticks to the generic ones at first, they’re classy and simple - but after a while he conjures up newer ones out of his sheer emotion for you - only to be used in private though.

pet names include:  - the usual at first, dear, beloved, honey, love - AND THEN BOOM: precious (you are the most precious thing in his life HANDS DOWN. gets so sentimental when he uses it aswell - will whisper it to you before bed or when he’s trying to comfort you - nothing in this world compares to how much you mean to him) - kitten (yeah you thought i would stop myself - no.) - mr/mrs/mx* han (after you get married he does this a lot in public - maybe to show off a little bit and see everyone’s surprised faces as he follows it with ‘dear’ or something - he isn’t big into PDA but he has his smug sneaky ways of letting you know that he is thankful to have you) - HIS prince/princess/your majesty/highness: (DUUUDE... he wants the BEST for you - you’ve finally shown him what the wonderful feelings of love do! you hold that power over him at least! ...will kiss your hand when he uses this)

saeyoung:

saeyoung has... stranger more unique ways to show you affection, and the pet names he uses do not escape his whacky tendencies - uses pet names as a way to put a smile on your face and to make you laugh, to see that cute bright smile on your face! of course though, saeyoung has a (small) share of pet names that are more sensical and have some sort of more obvious meaning behind them. he starts off using dumb pet names, then as he gets emotionally attached stops, then he accepts he loves you and starts using really cheesey pet names, theenn he regains some of his happiness with you and becomes more jokey again (WHEW!). 

pet names include: (besides the normal boooring ones /j) - his star (you guided him to his happiness... you shone for him brightly when he had no shine himself - you cheered him up with your beauty and warmth - and you guys did kick ass stuff in his good end like it was a MOVIE or something – also spaaace??) - weird food names - starts off as honey and sweetie pie - gets weird fast... will call you his chip and his nurse pepper ( doctor is reserved for the drink - otherwise it gets confusing) - LOWKEY MAKES FUN OF YOU... if you’re short he’ll call you shortie - if you’re tall he calls you tallie (haha funny.) if you’re blonde he calls you blondie, and if you have freckles or dimples OR GLASSES - consider it your new name. also starts calling you after the things you wear - if you wear chains, he calls you chains, if you wear dramatic makeup, he starts calling you a diva - will call you noob i’m sorry - sweet cheeks (SEVEN WHICH CHEEKS-) - boople snoot (yes.) - his galaxy (the seven alternative to my world)

saeran:

okay so - it’s assumed that saeran is actually a DID system but i’m writing for good end saeran because um - lets be honest the alters were not the most healthy and probably wouldn’t have been doing any pet name calling (ray being too insecure, black suit saeran and unknown... being black suit saeran and unknown? it would have been sarcastic and mean)

after all of the hardships you guys had gone through... saeran was TERRIFIED that you would leave because why on earth would you want to stick by with him i mean?? all he had known his whole life is literally mistreatment he thought you were too good to be true. but you stuck by and you gave him what he had needed for so long - you always made him feel safe and he finally belonged somewhere, felt like the world wasn’t ALWAYS out for him, he could breathe easier now. very reluctant at first - messing up with you especially gave him paralyzing fear. but then you showed him such loyalty, he looked at you and saw that yes you made mistakes, that you were human, and you reminded him that it was okay to be human too. so slowly he trusted that you would accept him being affectionate back - he wanted to appreciate you like you appreciated him - despite all of the flaws he saw in himself constantly. (WHOO I LOVE SAERAN SO MUCH OMG CAN YOU TELL??)

pet names include: - angel (do i need to explain this?? you’ve saved his life - his future, everything. he sees you with a halo around your head constantly, even at your darkest moments, because he’s been there before too!) - flower (at first glance may seem like a cute thing because ray liked gardening - which sure part of it is that - but moreover he talks about your beauty when he uses this pet name, about how happy you make him, he sees you as someone delicate and gentle yet at the same time someone bold and bright - someone that the world NEEDS) - sunshine (you brighten his day, his month, his year, his life - aaand well a garden does need sunshine doesn’t it? you keep him going when he feels like giving up) - love and dear (too classic not to be included with a man that wore fancy suits JHGH)  - sweetheart/sweetie/honey (along with his big sweet tooth - he thinks you’re the sweetest person he’s ever met) - sugarplum (pls let me have this)

*mx is like m(r)s and mr but for non-binary folks :)

[microcos-pod]

Micro-Cosmos Bonus Episode #3 Transcript: To Touch the Stars

(Miles struggles with falling asleep and looks to their friend for help.

CONTENT WARNINGS: Existentialism, feelings of insignificance, attempting to comprehend the vastness of space.

Transcript below break.)

JESSE Hey there, it’s Jesse Smith! Before we get to the bonus episode, I need to share an important announcement with you all. Though we have just come back from a short hiatus, we, the crew, have decided it best to stick to it a little while longer. Don’t worry, we will be back soon! We just need a bit more time to prepare so we can give you the best show that we can. We have no definite return date to share with you all at present, but we will keep our social medias updated with any new information in the coming weeks. We will be returning with Episode 9: The Alternative very, very soon, we promise.  In the meantime, you can share your thoughts on the show on social media with the tag “microcospod,” rate and review us on your podcatcher of choice, or add a new show to your podcast list, such as the Heart of Ether or the Night Post.Until next time, work well.

[Fade to episode.]

[SFX: The sound of city night life is faintly heard from outside. There is silence for a beat, before MILES is heard tossing and turning excessively, mumbling to themself. Finally, they groan loudly, shoving their face into their pillow. Unit C41 flickers to life from where they were set on the bedside table.]

C41 Miles, would it kill you to be quiet? I’m trying to get my beauty rest.

MILES What does it matter to you? You should be able to rest regardless of external stimuli.

C41 Yeah, well, it’s annoying, so.

[MILES groans loudly again.]

MILES Sorry, I just—well, no matter how hard I try to sleep, I can’t shake this restless feeling I have.

C41 Maybe if you didn’t down so much caffeine—

MILES [cutting them off, annoyed] I don’t even like coffee, but I wouldn’t be able to function without it! Not that you’d understand.

C41 [they huff.] You’re being quite rude, you know. I’m just trying to help you.

MILES [mutters] You’re ridiculing me, more like it. [a beat.] Sorry. I just have to be up early tomorrow for that meeting with Emily, and I know I’ll be kicking myself in the morning if I don’t fall asleep soon.

C41  [mocking] Aw, does poor Mx. Abbott need me to read them a bedtime story?

[MILES ponders this for a moment.]

MILES [serious, but also teasing, in a way] You know what? Yeah. That would be lovely, Cal.

C41 [“wait no,” scrambling to take it back] Hey, you know I was joking—!

MILES [cutting them off, almost cooing, in a cruel way] And I’m not getting any more tired with all this bickering. You know you won’t have any fun tomorrow either if I don’t get enough rest. [a beat, then] Well? I’m waiting.

C41 [they groan] Ugh. You want a bedtime story? Fine. Once upon a time, there was a software engineer named Miles Abbott. They never knew when to shut up. One night, though, they finally decided to, and everyone was happy! The end.

MILES Cal.

C41 Don’t blame me! You didn’t program me to tell stories.

MILES Actually, I programmed you to do a lot of things, and this should be well within your capabilities. Do I need to go into your code again?

C41 No! Just—fine. I’ll make up an actual story, if you’re going to be so stubborn about it.

[C41 huffs a sigh. They think for a few moments before they begin telling their story.]

C41 Once upon a time, there was a fox who lived in a little village with a bunch of other animals.

MILES Does the fox have a name?

C41 No. This is one of those folktales where the animals are a metaphor, so they don’t need names.

MILES Let me guess, then, the Fox was sly and mischievous.

C41 [spiteful] Actually, no. The Fox was incredibly sweet, and made everyone cookies every Monday. Everyone in the village loved the fox.

MILES But that’s not what they usually represent—

C41 And this is my story with my characters, so they can do whatever I want! Stop talking, this is supposed to help you sleep.

[MILES yawns.]

MILES Fine.

C41 So, this fox had a great life in this village, but there was one thing they really wanted. Every night, the Fox would climb onto their roof and look up at the stars. Their dream, above all else, was to touch those stars. Not just that, the Fox wanted to jump across them. Like lilly pads, guiding them through space. They wanted to see where the stars would take them. From where the Fox sat, it seemed like they were forming a path. Thus, if they followed the path, it must take them somewhere special, right?

MILES So, how’d the Fox do it?

C41 Well, they started by going to their friend, the Owl, who was very wise, because, duh, owls are always the wise ones.

MILES You said—

C41 My story, remember? Anyways, the Fox went to the Owl, not only because the Owl was smart, but she could fly. The Fox asked the Owl if she could fly them up to the stars. She shook her head, though. She couldn’t fly up that high, even if she tried.

But, she had an idea. She may not be able to reach the stars, but she could reach the clouds. Because this is my fantasy world, and I make the rules, I’m going to go ahead and say the clouds here aren’t like normal clouds. These clouds, you’re able to stand on. Not just that, but they’re super bouncy, like a trampoline. The Owl thought that if she could fly the Fox up to the clouds, then they could bounce up high enough to get to the stars. Simple as that.

The Fox thought it was super clever, so the following night, they executed their plan. The Owl let the Fox sit on her back, and the two of them flew up, and up, and up, until the Owl finally couldn’t go any higher. That was when the Fox jumped off of her back and onto the nearest cloud. And guess what? It worked! The Fox went up even further, and they kept bouncing from cloud to cloud, going higher and higher with each jump.

Around them, the sky grew darker. They couldn’t even see their village anymore. Even when they started to feel scared, they kept jumping between the clouds until eventually, there were no more clouds. The only place left for them to jump…was the nearest star.

Their paws landed on the surface of the star with grace. Don’t worry, these are also fantasy stars, so the Fox didn’t burn alive. If anything, the star sent a pleasant tingling sensation through the pads of their feet. These stars were just like how a kid would draw stars. Not millions of light years apart, but clustered together, as if a living painting laid out before the Fox’s eyes. They were all the same cold yellow, all shining like glitter and glowing magnificently. They were exactly like the Fox had always dreamed of.

And the Fox should be happy. Ecstatic, even. This is what they’d wanted all their life.

But…they weren’t. Getting a closer look, they realized there was no cohesive path the stars formed. In fact, there were far more stars than they anticipated, spread out across the vastness of space. When they looked down, they saw the planet they had come from, and it was so much smaller than they had thought. When they looked up, around them, they saw even more planets in the distance, ones they couldn’t see before. Planets they could probably jump to, if they tried hard enough.

They could. Explore the universe by hopping from star to star. Their feet didn’t move, though. Looking around, they realized just how small they were in comparison to these grand celestial bodies. All their life, they had lived with their own goals, aspirations, ideas, and thought that that was all there was. That there was one life made just for them.

They didn’t realize how insignificant it all was until that moment—their desire to touch the stars, the cookies they made each Monday…their friends. Was there another little fox on one of those distant planets with the same life, the same dreams? Had that fox already accomplished all of their goals, better than this Fox ever could? Was it ever really the Fox’s choice to do all of those things, or was that just the role it was expected to play in the grand scheme of things? How could they go home with the knowledge that all this time, their village was only a speck of dust?

The Fox stayed on that first star they landed on. They stayed for a long, long time. It’s possible the Fox stayed there for the rest of eternity, standing on that star, staring out into space. It’s possible they stayed until it burned out and died. No matter what, as long as they kept looking, they couldn’t move. Because seeing it all so up close made them realize…it didn’t matter if they continued or not. They had always dreamed of touching the stars, and when they finally did? The stars didn’t even notice.

What a big universe, and what a small, small Fox. [with emphasis] How dare they. How selfish of them. To think their choices mattered at all.

[There’s a pause.]

C41 [trying to brush it off] Whew! That got a bit heavy at the end, didn’t it…Miles?

[MILES is softly snoring. C41 sighs deeply.]

C41 Goodnight, Miles. Try not to drink so much coffee tomorrow. I don’t think I have any more bedtime stories left in me.

[CREDITS.]