#which honestly is tame compared to other things here

[skz317cb97]

The Club

Bang Chan x Thick female reader

Word count: 6.3K

Synopsis: Friends to lovers such a cute trope... in theory. You go to the club with your two best friends and the clueless man you love, your roommate Chan. Will you be able to stand watching him hook up with yet another flawless girl that you could never compare to or are you finally at the end of your rope.

A/N: 18+ ONLY! I don't know where this came from I just knew I wanted to do another thick reader fic. I honestly pulled it from my ass which I guess is what all writing is really. ANYWAY! I hope you enjoy and if you do please reblog, comment, like, send an ask whatever I love to hear from you guys. As always warnings and smut below the cut!

Warnings: Body image issues, cussing/strong language, unprotected piv intercourse (please use protection), cream pie, crying after sex. I think that's all, this one is fairly tame. If I missed something please let me know and I'll add it to the warnings asap!

Your best friend and roommate Chan knocked on your bedroom door and then walked into your room a second after, a typical move on his part.  

“Come right in why don’t ya.” You scoffed. Chan flashed his megawatt smile that you failed to see since you were laying on your bed face down after having the worst week of your life. He picked up one of your throw pillows and flung it at your head. 

“Hey wake up! Minho and Jisung called, we’re going to the club tonight so get ready!” You rolled over looking at the ceiling and pushed the pillow Chan threw on the floor instead of flinging it back towards him, he frowned a little. 

“Pass. You guys go without me.” The last thing you wanted to do was go and watch your three pretty best friends get hit on while you sat at a booth drowning your loneliness in whatever you felt like shooting back. It always happened and of course it did. They were three attractive men that could dance, they were articulate and kind as well. So they had their pick of the women whenever you all went out to the clubs. The club experience was not the same for you.  

You were bigger than most if not all the other girls at the club and your dancing was mediocre at best. Most of the time you would dance for a bit with the guys and eventually, one by one, they would break off with whatever girl rubbed against them. Then you would make your way to a booth and be there for the remainder of the night. No one ever approached you except your friends who would regularly check up on you, sit for a bit, maybe order a drink, then back out on the dance floor. You were sure it was a great time for them and usually it didn’t bother you that much but after your day, your week, you didn’t have the energy. Chan was persistent and wasn’t having it though. 

“What?! No no way we’re not going without you, we all always go together.” He grabbed you by your hands and you wished it didn’t make your heart race. Chan pulled you until you were sitting up. 

“So get. Dressed.” You rolled your eyes and pulled your hands away. 

“I said no Chan.” He rolled his eyes right back. 

“Give me one good reason why?” He crossed his arms in front of him and you let out a huff of frustrated air. A good reason why? Because you’d had a horrible week and you didn’t want to watch Chan rubbing against and kissing another perfect girl that he would bring home and you would ultimately have to listen to the soft moans and panting of a stunning girl you could only ever wish to be. You couldn’t say that to him though, so you sat there quietly. 

“See you don’t have one. Minho and Jisung will be here in forty-five. Get. Ready!” He spun around and left your room before you could argue more. So this would be your night, again. You just hoped your stupid heart could take it. Sure, being in love with your best friend and roommate is such a cute cliché trope until you’re living it, then its agony. You got up and started getting ready and by ready, you changed out of your work clothes into street clothes. You didn’t try, you just didn’t feel like faking it. So a basic pair of jeans, a tshirt, some converse, and your hair up in a ponytail was your attire for the evening. 

Chan thought he was going to have to drag you from your room by force but when Minho and Jisung showed up you walked out dressed and ready. Naturally since Minho and Jisung were your two only other friends they knew you had feelings for Chan. Not because you ever told them, nor would you admit it when Minho would allude to it. Minho just wasn’t an idiot and had eyes and Jisung... well Minho told him everything. Jisung was skeptical still. As soon as you walked out Minho knew something was off. You weren’t your normal glow-y self. He made fun of you constantly calling you concentrated sunshine because you just had this glow about you that made others around you smile and even though he teased you for it he found it endearing and a wonderful quality to have in a friend but that night he didn’t see it. He walked up to you. 

“You feeling okay?” You nodded. 

“Yea sure like a million dollars.” You deadpanned and went to walk past him to follow Jisung and Chan out the door but he stopped you. 

“Hey...” You looked at him and your eyes just looked empty. 

“You sure you should be going out?” You took a deep breath and tried to get a grip. 

“I’m okay Min really, let's just go please?” He was concerned but he wasn’t going to push you, not tonight at least. He grabbed your hand and you both headed out the door with your friends. 

Once you all arrived at the club the guys migrated towards the dance floor like you all always did, dance, then drink. You broke off and made your way over to the bar quietly. When Minho turned to make sure you were still right behind him, he didn’t see you anywhere. Chan already had a gorgeous girl in a silver sling of a club dress shaking her ass and backing it up on him and Jisung was just dancing with the mass of people. Minho couldn’t just dance and have carefree fun knowing you weren’t, he walked over to Chan and his ‘dance partner’. 

“Hey, did you see where y/n went off to? She was right behind me then gone.” Minho yelled over the music. 

“Probably getting a drink she’s been in a mood today I don’t know why.” Minho watched the girl grind her ass against Chan’s crotch and Chan’s hand slid across her backside as he moved his hips with her. Minho rolled his eyes, of course he didn’t know why. 

“You're my best friend but you’re an idiot sometimes...” Minho mumbled. 

“Huh?” Chan couldn’t hear him over the music, Minho raised his voice over it again. 

“I said I’m gonna check by the bar.” Chan nodded and waved at Minho as he made his way towards the bar rail. You had initially been at the bar but as soon as you had a drink you made your way over to one of the tables you would sit at usually. When Minho didn’t find you at the bar he knew he’d find you there. He slid in next to you at the booth you’d chosen for the night. You downed the rest of your glass and he looked at you. 

“How many is that?” You looked at him blankly. 

“Does it matter?” He arched one of his perfectly shaped eyebrows at you and narrowed his eyes. You sighed. 

“It’s only my first calm down officer.” Minho nodded. 

“Come, dance with me.” 

“Pass.” Minho grabbed you by the hand and pulled you. 

“I don’t think that was a request. Dancing, now.” You got up because at least you could get another drink in the process. Minho guided you towards the dance floor and started moving his body to the beat, you bobbed back and forth half-heartedly. By the second song Minho had gotten you to lighten up a bit, it helped that Jisung had joined you both and you had your friends near you. Well not all of them. You had been watching your feet or looking at Minho so you could read his lips when he spoke to you. Then you scanned the mass of people dancing and your eyes landed right on Chan and the silver dress girl making out and dancing, Chan’s hand gripping her ass as she giggled and he kissed her neck, their sweaty body’s moving in tandem with each other. Your face fell as your heart shattered into a million pieces. Minho could see it happening in your eyes. He scanned your line of sight and saw Chan and the girl. Before Minho could say anything, you excused yourself. 

“I think I’m gonna be sick.” You pried your way through the people on the dance floor trying to get out of there and into the fresh air, you needed air. Jisung was confused when you dashed off and Minho just raised his hand as he followed you. 

���Just... stay here I’ve got her.” Minho cut through the crowd right behind you. You burst out the club door and into the cool night, taking gasps of air trying to will any and everything in your stomach to stay put. Minho popped out a second later and almost bumped right into you. 

“Hey, look... you know... about Ch-” You cut Minho off. 

“It was just hot I needed some air.” Minho rolled his eyes at you. 

“y/n I know-” You cut him off more forcefully, tears slightly collecting in the corners of your eyes. 

“I was hot Minho!” He stopped, pushing you would do no good and he didn’t want to upset you more than you already were. You sniffled a bit and pushed the tears back down. 

“I’ll be back inside in a minute.” He looked at you unable to hide the concern on his face. 

“Promise.” You said. He accepted that and headed back inside. You got yourself together outside and made your way back into the club a few minutes after Minho. You walked up to the bar, you promised Minho you’d come back inside, you didn’t say you wouldn’t drink. You were done dancing for the night you were ready to drink and forget. Forget the image of Chan and some gorgeous girl dry humping on the dance floor that was burned into your mind. You got your drink, several in fact, and made your way to your table again. Your drink of choice? Instant amnesia, tequila shots. Shortly after shot number six? Seven? Who cared. Shortly after you knocked back yet another shot Minho, Jisung, and Chan all crowded the table, the beautiful girl in the silver dress glued to Chan’s side. Minho snatched the empty shot glass out of your hand frustrated. 

“Did you drink all these?” He motioned at the slew of empty shot glasses in front of you. You just nodded and Minho sighed and looked over at Jisung who looked concerned but unsure how to help. The girl whispered something in Chan’s ear and he nodded laughing making Minho look over at him. Chan raised his eyebrows. 

“What?” Minho shook his head and motioned towards you. 

“Do you maybe wanna try and help me here?” Chan held up one finger to the girl. He slid into the booth seat next to you and she sat on the edge right by him. 

“What’s up?” He nudged you and you shook your head. 

“Why is everyone acting like this isn’t what we do every time we’re at the club? I drink and you guys...” You lifted your head enough to look over at the girl next to Chan. 

“do you. Just leave me alone.” Chan didn’t get why you were acting like this. So you had a bad week at work, you didn’t usually take that out on them and you definitely were never so short with them. 

“What’s your problem tonight?” You narrowed your eyes at him and then dropped your head back down. 

“Just leave me alone, I’m always alone anyway just...” Chan got a look on his face like the lightbulb just went off. So that was it you were upset no guys were approaching you. When Minho saw that look on Chan’s face he was almost certain it was the wrong lightbulb going off and braced for grade A Chan foot in mouth material.  

“Well of course, you’re dressed as frumpy as your attitude.” You looked at him with your jaw dropped as tears instantly pricked your eyes. Minho literally face palmed and even Jisung thought that was way harsh to say. Chan realized it was too far the moment it left his mouth. 

“Move and let me out.” You said quietly but sternly. The girl stood while Chan put his hands up and didn’t budge. 

“Wait...” You looked him right in the endless pools of brown you usually adored as your tears threatened to fall. It wasn’t even just that he’d said it but to say it in front of that beautiful girl, it tore your guts out. 

“Bang Christopher Chan move, or I will scream.” You took a deep breath preparing to scream as loud as you could, a tear slipping down your cheek and he quickly got up. You pulled yourself out of the booth and walked away without a word as they all watched. 

“Wow Chan of all the bone head things to say... I didn’t think you could say something so heartless, especially to y/n.” Before Chan could say anything Minho took off after you. You were drunk and crying against a brick wall when he found you. He promised not to ask or say anything, he just wanted to make sure you got home safe. He put his arm around you and walked you back to your apartment. Back in the club Jisung and Chan stood there in shock for a second. Neither of them had ever seen you like that before, then Jisung turned to Chan and gave him an angry look. 

“I know I know I feel like shit I’ll go apologize to her.” Chan turned to the girl that had been his dance partner and then some for the night. 

“Uhh sorry I’ve... I’ve gotta fix this, she’s my best friend.” She looked irritated but nodded and left for the dance floor again. Jisung suggested taking the long way back to your place to give you a little time to cool down and Chan decided that was probably a good idea. By the time you and Minho got to your place you had stopped crying. He led you to your room where he helped you take off your shoes and get into bed, you threw the cover back and peeled off your jeans leaving you in your panties before laying back. Minho’s face turned a little red and he looked away until you were covered again. He grabbed you a bottle of water and dragged your trash can by your bed in case you had to vomit. He went to leave your room and let you get some sleep but your voice came out tiny and shaky and it stopped him. 

“He doesn’t love me.” Minho turned. 

“Who?” He asked although he knew. 

“Chan.” It was the first time you’d ever admitted out loud to him that you were in love with Chan. Minho knew Chan was oblivious to it and he knew Chan loved you; they all did, but he really didn’t know if Chan was in love with you. 

“I don’t know, try not to think about it right now, okay? Get some rest.” You curled up and turned towards Minho. 

“Min?” He hummed smiling softly at you, he hated seeing that spark in your eye smothered by your tears. 

“Nothing.” He nodded. 

“Good night y/n. Sleep well.” He pulled your bedroom door closed and locked up on his way out. On Minho’s way home he ran into Jisung and Chan who had taken the long way so were walking from the opposite direction. Chan jogged up to him quickly. 

“Did you find her? Is she okay?” Minho nodded. 

“Yea I found her. She’s home, she’s in bed now.” Chan sighed in relief.  

“Thanks Min. I’ll make it right.” Minho nodded 

“I sure hope so.” Then Minho and Jisung headed towards their own apartment. When Chan got home he made sure to quietly unlock the front door. When he turned to go down the hall towards your rooms there you were in your tshirt and panties braced against the wall trying to get to the bathroom to brush the taste of tequila out of your mouth. If you weren’t still drunk you would have been mortified to be standing in front of Chan in your panties. 

“Oh hey, Minho said you were asleep already.” You shrugged. 

“Sorry to disappoint you but I’ll be sure to put earbuds in so you and your slumber party pal can be as loud as you want.” Chan’s brow furrowed in confusion. 

“Slumber party pal?” You pushed your fingers into your eyes and fought the migraine that was starting to form. You tried to walk into the bathroom and he stopped you. 

“Wait. What are you talking about? Do you mean the girl from the club?” What did that have to do with it. Chan was confused. 

“Yes the girl who’s attitude and certainly her dress were far from frumpy.” You could feel tears starting to form in your eyes again. You’d hoped you’d cried all you had in you. Chan felt the slap to the face your words were meant to carry. 

“y/n I shouldn’t have...” You cut him off angry. 

“You think I don’t know what you mean when you say that?!” Chan shook his head he didn’t understand, what he meant? 

“That I’m fat! I’m fat and not pretty! I’m fat and why would anyone approach someone like me! That I wasn’t her! You don’t think I know it already?! I see the way you look at her and I see the way you look at me and I know!” You looked down crying and realized you were standing there like a fool with no pants on. You ran to your room and slammed the door grabbing sweats and pulling them on before crawling into your bed hopeful that it would swallow you and take you away. Your head was pounding and you felt like you wanted to throw up, you just wanted to disappear.  

Chan stood there absolutely stunned. Why did you feel like you needed to compare yourself to that other girl? The alcohol was skewing your perspective, it had to be. You didn’t really think he meant that did you? You didn’t really think that about yourself, right? Sure the girl he was dancing with was beautiful but he thought you were beautiful too, you knew that, you knew he thought you were pretty. He thought it all the time when he watched you cooking dinner in the kitchen or when you both were curled up watching a documentary on sea cucumbers, he thought you were the prettiest when you laughed, which you did often... usually, not so much lately. You had to know because he thought it all the time... he thought.  

Thinking and saying are two totally different things. He tried to remember a time he’d told you that you looked pretty or that he thought you were beautiful and he couldn’t think of one, he couldn’t think of not one time he’d actually said out loud that he thought you were pretty. Underneath he knew a lot of other feelings came up with that statement, feelings he wasn’t sure he was ready to deal with, feelings that may scare you, feelings that might make you uncomfortable. You lived together, things could get messy saying things like that, so he’d thought it all the time but looking back he’d never really said it. Then he said that. God he was an idiot.  

He walked up to your door and could hear you sniffling on the other side. He knocked and then walked in like he always did. When he did you turned your back to him. Your voice was small again, choked. 

“Go away.” Chan shook his head and took another step in. 

“No. I need to say something.” You buried your head deeper into your pillow. 

“Go awa-” 

“I think you’re beautiful.” You closed your eyes tightly, tears soaking your pillow. 

“Stop...” 

“I think you’re so beautiful and your body is...” You sat up and faced him. He had to stop. 

“Shut up! Chan just shut. Up!” 

“And your body is perf-” You got up and stormed towards him. You started beating on his chest with your fists and he held your arms stopping you, your eyes closed tight crying even harder, screaming at him. 

“Shut up! Shut up! Don’t lie to me! Don’t you ever fucking lie to me! I hate you! I hate you for doing this to me! I hate you for making me love you!” You collapsed to the floor in front of him, curled up sobbing and whimpering at his feet.  

“Liar... I hate you...” You choked out quietly and Chan stood there frozen by your confession. He looked down and saw you, then laid down on the floor beside you. He didn’t try to make you talk or hold you, he just curled up and laid there with you so you weren’t alone. He’d never leave you alone, you were his best friend and so much more. It wasn’t long before all the night’s events caught up and you both fell asleep next to each other on the floor.  

The next morning you woke up stiff and sore, your head was pounding not only from the alcohol but also the endless crying you’d done the night before. You winced as you opened your eyes and then realized the warmth behind you and an arm draped over you. You turned your head a little to look and saw Chan laying by you on the floor, his arm around you. You quickly scrambled away, waking him up in the process. You sat on the floor by your bed your knees pulled up to your chest. Your chest that felt so heavy, heavy filled with the memories and the pain from last night. Chan sat up and tried to see you through his sleep swollen eyes. 

“Uh hey... um, good morning...” He said in his deep groggy voice. You bowed your head. 

“Morning.” You replied quietly. Chan sat there and stared at you for a second until you started to squirm. He wasn’t sure what all you remembered from the night before. He finally snapped out of it and struggled standing up, stiff from sleeping on the hard floor. 

“I uh... will let you wash up then.” You nodded and he turned and left your room. You grabbed a fresh tshirt and pair of sweats and hurried to the bathroom. You took the longest shower of your life, brushed your teeth and felt a little better. Not great but you could open your eyes all the way at least. As you were coming out of the bathroom Chan was walking into the hall from the living room and you almost bumped into each other. 

“Oh, sorry.” He said as his hands gently held your arms to stop you from stumbling. You quickly pulled away. 

“It’s fine.” You practically ran for your room and shut the door. Chan knew for sure that you remembered at least part of the night before. He ran his fingers through his messy curls frustrated with himself and went into the bathroom to shower as well. When he was done he threw on some shorts and as he pulled his tshirt over his head you tapped at his door. 

“Yea?” You cracked it just a little and kept your eyes glued to the floor. 

“Um, I... can I talk to you?” Chan nodded. 

“Yea of course come-” 

“In the living room whenever you're done.” You quickly added. He frowned a little but shook his head. 

“Yea I’ll be right out.” You gave him a single nod and closed the door. It wasn’t long before Chan walked out into the living room. You were sitting on one end of the couch just kind of zoned out until he walked in. He walked over and sat on the other end of the couch turned towards you. When you finally willed yourself to look at him you couldn’t help the small frown that shifted onto your face when you saw him sitting there with his wet curls and hopeful eyes. Chan’s heart squeezed in his chest seeing your frown. 

“I think I should move out.” Like a bucket of ice water was thrown on Chan, that was his expression. 

“WHAT? WHY!?” You scoffed at his reaction and his question. 

“Seriously Chan? You know why. I was drunk but I remember everything. I just... need some... space, some time away...” You watched your hands as you picked at your cuticles. 

“From me?” Chan said pained. You looked up at him with tears rimming your eyes and nodded. It was like the wind had been knocked out of him and he was hit with a realization that he’d taken so much for granted, a realization that he was losing you. You stood up to head back to your room and Chan gently grabbed your wrist stopping you. 

“Last night, when I told you you’r-” You shook your head. 

“No, stop. I’m going to pack a bag and stay with Minho and Jisung for now. As soon as I have arrangements made I’ll let you know and be back for my things, I’ll try to be quick.” Tears were streaking Chan’s face now as well as your own. You pulled your wrist free and did just as you said you were, you went to your room and packed clothes and toiletries to take with you to Minho and Jisung’s. On your way out you crossed through the living room and Chan was sitting in the same spot, still with tears running down his cheeks. You walked over and when you knelt in front of him he looked over at you, his eyes glassy with tears. You pushed his damp curls back, and he sniffled, you softly kissed his cheek and then stood and left. Chan broke down crying when he heard the door click closed behind you. 

When you got to Jisung and Minho’s place the first thing you did was fall into Jisung’s embrace and cry uncontrollably. You had been strong through the whole thing and now you didn’t have to be so you cried. Jisung sat on the couch with you and let you while Minho made some tea for you all. After a good cry and some tea you got unpacked in the guest room. You all were settled in the living room watching tv after dinner when there was a knock at the door. Minho and Jisung, one on each side of you, looked at each other. Neither were expecting anyone but both knew exactly who it was, you did too. Minho got up to answer the door. 

“Min...” You called him. He turned and saw your eyes, big and worried. He held up a finger nodding and turned to go answer the door. When he opened it unsurprisingly Chan was standing there. 

“I need to talk to y/n.” Chan tried to walk in and Minho blocked him. 

“You need to give it some time Chan there’s more to this for her than you realize.” Chan pressed his lips together tightly; he knew what was at stake and he wasn’t going to lose you without a fight.  

“Minho, I need to talk to her let me through.” Minho shook his head. 

“Chan-” 

“She needs to come home!” Chan said loudly. 

“y/n please come home!” He shouted into the apartment 

“Please! Just stay with me!” Minho pushed Chan out of the doorway and walked into the hall with him pulling the door closed behind him. 

“What the hell are you doing man? Are you hearing me? There’s more to this than you think!” Chan pushed back against Minho. 

“I’m in love with her! She needs to come home, she needs to be home with me! So I can apologize, so I can cook her favorite dinner and grab that lemon lime sorbet that she loves at the corner store, so I can hold her and kiss her and tell her everything I should have long before now.” Chan shouted, huge tears in his eyes. Minho was stunned. Once he had his wits about him again he shook his head. 

“All that aside Chan. It’s not the time for this. Just... give her some time.” He spoke softly, Minho didn’t want to have to hurt his friend and turn him away but he couldn’t hurt you either. Chan nodded, turned, and left without another word, he understood. When Minho walked back into the apartment you were standing at the opening of the foyer wide eyes filled with tears. 

“Mi-Minho... did... Chan... did he just...”  

“Say that he loved you?” You nodded and a tear fell. 

“Yea, he did.” You took a deep shuddering breath and braced yourself against the wall. 

“He looked awful. It’s only been part of a day but he looked like absolute hell not having you home.” You nodded, staring off as your thoughts spun a million miles an hour in your head. Chan loved you? Like you loved him? It was impossible. You didn’t know what to do. You were so confused. You had so many questions. You finally looked up at Minho. 

“Wha- should I go home? What do I do?” Minho shrugged. 

“Do you love him still?”  

“I’ll always love him.” Minho raised his brow at you knowingly. It was late but you didn’t care. You ran to the guest room, threw on some jeans and your tennis shoes and started towards you and Chan’s apartment. When you got there you unlocked the door quietly and tip-toed in so you didn’t make any noise in case Chan was already asleep. You walked into the living room and Chan was on the couch. His head was tilted back resting on the back of the couch and his arm was thrown over his eyes. You weren’t sure if he was sleeping or not. You made your way over and stood in front of him. When Chan felt someone standing near him he jumped before he realized it was you. He relaxed and sat there looking up at you with big brown glassy eyes. 

“y/n?” You nodded trying to fight back your own tears already. He didn’t say anything he just sat up and wrapped his arms around your midsection and hugged you, his head resting on your soft tummy. You hugged him, your fingers resting in his curls. He leaned back and looked up at you and you pushed his curls back away from his face. 

“I’m so sorry y/n, I should’ve never said that to you it wasn’t right and I...” You shook your head. 

“We have a lot to talk about and we will, I just have one question right now.” Chan nodded, his eyes piercing into yours. 

“Are you in love with me?” Chan shook his head up and down without a second of hesitation. He did, he knew. 

“Say it.” He sat up straight and looked at you, into you. 

“I’m in love with you y/n. I love you. I love you so m-” You leaned down and kissed him softly. He cupped your face and tilted his head, deepening the kiss. You broke away to take a breath and Chan pressed his forehead against yours, his hands resting on your wide hips, guiding you to kneel and rest on his lap, a thick thigh resting on either side of Chan’s strong legs. His hands slid down your thighs and squeezed even through the material it sent a shiver up your spine. You steadied yourself by holding on to Chan’s broad shoulders. Those same strong hands squeezing your thighs came up and held your face so softly, his thumb grazing the apple of your cheek. Tears started to well up in your eyes, Chan gently shook his head and pulled you in to kiss you again, pulling at your bottom lip with his teeth softly. You opened your mouth allowing him to slide his tongue inside. Chan wrapped his arms around you and pulled you all the way down onto his lap and you could feel him pressing into you making you throb with want as he devoured your lips. His hands ghosted down your back and rested on your hips urging you to move against him and you moaned into the kiss. 

“Sound... so pretty... baby girl.” He mumbled as he kissed down your neck. You could feel yourself getting wetter hearing the sweet pet name. You tilted your head giving him better access to his target. 

“Ch-Chan... wha-what are we... doing?” You panted as your hips ground together, as his hands gripped, and his lips explored. He pulled away when you asked, he was a little red and breathless chewing at his bottom lip. 

“Uh wha... what do you want?” You looked at him and pushed his curls back away from his beautiful face again. 

“You.” He smiled and touched your face. 

“Then... I’m yours.” You kissed him hard then scrambled to get up and get your jeans and panties off. As soon as Chan realized what you were doing he lifted his hips and pulled his shorts and briefs down to his ankles. You quickly climbed back onto his lap, there was no time to be shy or bashful as Chan lined up his cock with your wet hole and eased you down on to him. You both moaned and you gasped when you were fully seated in Chan’s lap again, only this time with his dick buried deep inside you. 

“Oh god!” Chan held onto your hips, his lip between his teeth, eyes closed tightly as he felt you squeeze his length with your warm soft walls. When he finally opened his eyes he saw you looking down at him, your eyes sparkling. You pulled at the hem of his shirt and took it off over his head running your hands up and down his firm torso over his chest and abs and back up again. Chan sat up his cock moving inside you deliciously making you squirm as his hands traveled up your plush body lifting your shirt up and over your head, your full breasts lined up with his face, he sucked on one and then the other, squeezing and pushing them together then raking his teeth across your hard nipples. 

“Ch-Chan... please...” He let go of your breasts and his hands slid down your curvy frame and rested on your ass. He leaned back on the couch then squeezed and pulled your hips forward and then pushed them back as he rolled his hips up into you. 

“Like that baby girl... ride it just like that.” You planted your hands low on his abs and pushed your hips forward and then back again on your own. You moved again and again and set a rhythm. Chan’s head rolled back and his eyes closed. 

“Does it feel good?” You needed to know you he was enjoying it, you wanted to make him feel good. Chan looked at you blushing and smiling as you rode his cock. 

“Mhmm yes, you feel so good baby, don’t stop.” He squeezed your thick ass and urged you to move faster. Your breaths shortened as your hips moved quicker. 

“G-gonna cum... Ch-Chan go-gonna cu-” Your eyes rolled back into your head as you wrapped your arms around Chan’s head hugging him tight, his face buried in your big tits again. Chan could feel you dripping down his cock as you came on top of him, your hips stuttering and Chan helped you ride it out as he rolled his hips up into you harder. When you finally let go of him Chan slumped back on the couch again, held up your hips forcing you forward making you brace onto the back of the couch and with his strong hands holding you up he started pounding into you from underneath not only chasing his own high but sending you nosediving into another orgasm. More of your arousal dripped down his cock and there was a lewd smacking sound every time Chan hammered his dick into your wet cunt. He put you down and sat back up pulling you close as your cunt took his whole cock. It was messy grinding and rubbing and wet and as you shook and trembled through your third orgasm. Chan pulled you closer still, he held you tight and came deep inside you as he cupped your face and sweetly kissed your lips. You sat there sweaty and out of breath on Chan’s lap your head resting on one of his shoulders, his arms wrapped around you as his cock softened inside you. When you caught your breath and the adrenalin wore down the gravity of what just happened hit you like a train and you started to cry. Chan pulled you up and held your face worried. 

“Hey hey, what’s wrong huh? Baby don’t cry.” Hearing him call you by the sweet pet name only made you cry harder. He hugged you close again and grabbed the throw blanket off the back of the couch and wrapped it around you. He rubbed your back and held you until you were calm again. 

“Sorry it was just a lot of big feelings all at once and I got a little overwhelmed.” Chan shook his head as he continued tracing shapes on your back to soothe you. 

“Don’t be sorry I understand. Are you okay now?” You nodded and sat up and Chan smiled at you his dimples popping up. 

“Good. Why don’t we wash up and get to bed. We’ll talk about everything first thing tomorrow, including you moving out of your room. You were confused and frowned a little. 

“You... you still think I should?” Chan nodded. 

“Absolutlely. My room is bigger so it just makes sense for you to move into mine over me moving into yours.” You let out a huge sigh of relief and shoved him a little. He hugged you close and kissed your neck. 

“I love you baby girl.” You melted into his hug. 

@acciocriativity @caroline-ds-world @chansynie @ughbehavior @jquellen27 @fixation-dump @lachinitaaaaa @rinrinndou @bangchans-angel @laylasbunbunny @owo-manii-uwu @armystay89 @b00dyguts @purplenimsicle @caticorn61 @lauraneuuh @channieandhisgoonsquad @life-is-glorious @minnysproutgriffinteddy

“I love you too Chan.” 

Please do not repost or translate any of my works. My blog and stories are NSFW and 18+ ONLY! Minors, ageless, and blank blogs will be blocked!

[deconstructthesoup]

It's Black Friday, which means I'm, of course, thinking about Starkid... and I have a theory that the specific order that the LiB are always listed in (Pokotho, Bliklotep, T'noy Karaxis, Nibblephem, Wiggoth Y'Wrath) are, in fact, the order of how powerful they are, from least to greatest.

Let's start with Pokey. Now, on the surface, yeah, being able to completely take over people and turn them into hollow shells that speak your voice may be pretty damn powerful, but I think this actually works to the LiB's detriment. Think back to what Hidgens said, way back in TGWDLM---the existence of the hivemind would result in world peace, because if they're all under one mind, one "Singular Voice," there's nothing to fight about... but the LiB are all about sowing chaos, driving people to ruin. And if Pokey takes over everyone, there's nobody left to mess with. Even Webby outright compares Pokey to the rest of his brothers, which speaks a lot to how they see him---short-sighted, close-minded, and probably a little selfish. (I could also bring up the fact that unlike the others, he seems a lot more serious and even somber in his infliction, tying into his stone-face mask, but that's a whole other thing.) He's also, interestingly enough, one of two LiB who weren't introduced by way of Sniggles---even Nibbly got a little song from two of them after he did his Honey Queen munching---so maybe that means something? Idk.

Blinky definitely seems to have a good deal of power, if the horrors going on in Watcher World are anything to go by, but it also seems kinda... limited. From what we can see (heh), Blinky just operates out of this theme park, and unlike the others? He actually got defeated. Alice and Bill broke out of the effects, flooded Watcher World, and made it out with their bond strengthened rather than broken. Compare this with Pokey succeeding in taking over the world in TGWDLM---even if he failed later in Yellow Jacket---Tinky easily pulling the rug out from Ted's feet in Time Bastard, Nibbly snacking on Linda without so much as a second thought in Honey Queen, and Wiggly fucking starting a nuclear war in Black Friday despite his cult getting defeated and him not actually manifesting, you gotta wonder... what's up with Blinky failing? But I think his human look in NPMD speaks to that---it's a very laid-back look, and I saw someone suggest that he (or she, here, I guess) is trying to emulate the type of teen who's just there to chill, sit back, and watch TV. Maybe Blinky's whole deal is that he's fairly passive, and just wants to watch the chaos happen while he nudges some folks in the right direction. I could be completely wrong, of course.

Now, Tinky as the brother who's smack-dab in the middle actually makes a lot of sense. His domain is time itself---that's nothing to sneeze at! He's incredibly devious, and he always seems to get what he wants! His specialty is driving people insane! But when you look at the fact that he seems a little too chaotic, even for his brothers, and the fact that his eldritch form is, uh... kinda tame, since it's literally just a yellow goat, you have to wonder if Tinky suffers from middle-child syndrome. He's powerful, sure, but he's weird. Either he gets overlooked or he's just there to be along for the ride---I'm just guessing this based on the fact that he had, like two lines in The Summoning, even though he's probably the reason the messed-up timeline in Hatchetfield exists. He's just the crazy middle child, and honestly? That works. Good for him.

Nibbly, I think, is the only LiB (aside from our tentacle boi) who is explicitly stated to be considered "unique," with a power set that automatically puts him on a different level than a lot of his brothers. He's the only one who can regularly manifest in our reality, which makes him the only one who can physically affect the real world---and sure, that means eating pagent winners, but it could also mean a shitton of other things. It's kind of amazing that with his constant hunger and the power to manifest on Earth once a year, he only limits himself to one sacrifice... and maybe that's the point. Maybe the sacrifice only exists because Nibbly used to use that night to cause as much devastation as possible, and he's calmed down since then. Which, uh... yeah, scary thought.

And, yeah, Wiggly is obvious. He's in charge, he makes the decisions, he's always revered over the others---it's pretty clear that he's the most powerful brother, and though everything he does in Black Friday speaks to that, I have a feeling that we don't actually know the extent of Wiggly's true power... and maybe, that's the point. The other LiB get clear-cut domains---control, surveillance, time, and hunger, with not a lot of room for wiggle room, if you'll forgive the pun---but for Wiggly, it's not so obvious. We know that his line in The Summoning is "Wiggly wants his wrath," but it's not just wrath that he preys on. In Black Friday, he uses what people want to become strong, quite literally marketing himself as the solution to all of their problems. In NPMD, he asks Steph, Pete, and Grace for the thing they cherish. He's not just wrath, but greed and desire, and that adds a punch. Also, that extra bit of complexity makes him line up perfectly as a devil figure.

And considering all of this, you have to wonder---where does Webby fall in all of this? Is she stronger than her brothers, and it's just that they outnumber her, or is she weaker? Is she older or younger (this might've been answered, I'm not as caught up on livestream lore as some may be)? Is it just her in the White, or does she have sisters? She's described as "A Queen in White," not "The Queen in White," which points to there maybe being more, but why haven't we seen more? Why is it just Webby fighting against her brothers, and why can't she do more?

*pauses*

Wow. Okay. Jesus, that got away from me.

Anyways, the Hatchetfield saga has super cool horror worldbuilding

[emelinstriker]

Red Son ♡ Parental Guidance Pt.2

Demon Bull King be like: "If I had a nickel for everytime I lost my son's diaper, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice."

Just like the first part, Reader does exist in here, but the story revolves more around Red Son and your entire family chaos as a whole.

♤ Part 1

ⓘ Reader is FEMALE; (C/N) = Child's Name

♡ ~ Fluff ~ ♡

Finally, after an agonizingly long time of giving birth, the baby was finally in your arms. Red Son was anxiously holding your hand so tightly just half an hour prior, but now he was gently holding onto you and your child with a smile. He gave your temple a kiss while brushing his thumb over your hand, which was securely helping your arm hold up the baby that was previously crying.

"He looks so much like me when I was this small", he commented softly, making you huff in amusement.

"Well, do you wanna hold him?" 

His eyes lit up as his gaze met yours with a smile. That was enough of an answer for you to carefully hand your son over to your husband. You also told him how to hold the baby correctly so it doesn't get hurt or become uncomfortable. It didn't take long for tears to gather in his eyes as he gently held onto your child while his gaze softened at the sleeping potato. "Hello, little flame..."

And finally, all was at peace...

...

...Actually, that would be a lie.

Okay, Red Son did sign up for this when he decided to have a child with you. From the constant waking up in the nights to the multiple diaper changes and random vomit. He knew it would happen, and he was mentally prepared at the thought... But now he was having seconds thoughts on if he was actually prepared. Especially when it turns out his baby could sneeze fire.

Of all the scenarios he had prepared the nursery for, a fire-sneezing baby was not on his list. He did not account for the possibility that the baby could possess fire abilities before it even reached the two-months-mark. Hell, he had a plan for if the child somehow ended up inheriting part of the Samadhi Fire! Good thing he did not. You both were suspecting that your son either didn't have it or he has such a small amount that it wasn't a threat to himself or others.

That did not mean that he wasn't a threat to the furniture. Grandpa DBK once came in to check on the little one, only to watch in horror as the crib was set ablaze in front of his eyes. The baby was absolutely fine and was giggling among the flames like a tiny pyromaniac, don't worry.

That was definitely a child of the Demon Bull Family, no doubt about it.

However, due to the discovery of the baby already being this much of a tiny menace, you reluctantly let your husband rework the nursery to ensure such fire could not expand. And while the room was under maintenance, you were tasked with baby duty for probably the entire day. Honestly, you didn't really mind because your mother-in-law was there to help you out. After all, she and her husband were absolutely smitten by the little flaming menace to society. Princess Iron Fan's experience in the field of motherhood was both a great help and gave a lot of content to talk about for when you're bored.

"You would not believe how destructive Red Son was as a child", she commented as he sipped on her tea. Meanwhile you were rocking the baby in your arms, lulling it further into sleep. Your talk with the little one's grandma was quite boring in his point of view. She giggled into her hand.

"Your own child is pretty tame compared to what he managed to do. Then again, my husband wasn't helping the situation either." She then side-eyed the Demon Bull King, who was awkwardly trying to eat from his plate. Honestly, having his son here right now would've been better... at least then his wife wouldn't try to solely pick on him for embarrassing memories. Unfortunately, Red Son couldn't attend dinner this time due to the nursery incident. So DBK had to survive this on his own.

He swallowed the food he just munched on before huffing, "I personally don't think I was that bad in raising him."

"You set the kitchen on fire-"

"That was one time!"

"But the bottle itself was covered in flames four times. Not to mention the diaper incident that somehow happened twice-"

"I'm telling you, the smell came from every wall! How was I supposed to know he hid them on the ceiling??"

You blinked in confusion, "I- Wait, he managed to hide two used diapers as a baby? On the ceiling?" Princess Iron Fan nodded with an amused hum. Your gaze lowered itself onto your own baby. Guess you had to be prepared for even more chaotic moments like that potentially happening. As if the fires (C/N) accidentally created weren't bad enough.

"Well, was there anything else that happened between the two of them?" You were simply curious.

The Demon Bull King suddenly started to eat a lot quicker, to the point where he was trying to eat everything off the plate at the same time, practically inhaling it all to escape this conversation.

His wife laughed, sending her husband a taunting grin, "Of course! Let me tell you all about it~"

DBK then apparently deemed his attempt to escape not fast enough and simply ate the plate as a whole. He then excused himself from the dinner table and speedwalked off to who knows where with long, heavy steps.

You and his wife stared at his quick exit from the scene. While you were absolutely baffled that he just swallowed the entire plate, his wife couldn't hold in her laughter anymore.

And while Princess Iron Fan was telling you more embarrassing stories about her husband's best fails at being a parent, the Demon Bull King found Red Son in the kitchen. He seemed rather annoyed at something, so his father had to ask, "Is something the matter?"

Startled, his son almost dropped the bottle he was holding. Red Son sighed in relief when he realized it was only his father. "No, no. Everything's fine. I fixed up the nursery and wanted to get a newly filled bottle before telling (Y/N) it's ready. Just...", he responded as he glanced back down at the bottle, "I don't think I'm doing this right."

His father crossed his arms, leaning against the tall doorframe. "Do you perhaps need some help, son?"

The shorter bull demon scratched his head at this awkward situation. "...I wouldn't mind some help, actually. My attempts were a little... embarrassing, to say the least."

"It certainly couldn't have been that bad! It's simply about filling the bottle and heating it up."

"That's the problem, father. You see...", he said rather timidly before opening a cabinet and pulling out two more baby bottles that looked burnt. The Demon Bull King repeatedly blinked in shock, not believing what he was seeing. Red Son on the other hand was blushing in embarrassment, placing the bottles onto the counter before hiding his face in his hands, groaning out his frustration to the world.

"I'm a failure of a father...", his muffled voice commented from behind his hands.

To his surprise, his own father laughed. Red Son gave him an offended look, "Are you laughing at my misery?"

The giant bull wiped away a single tear from his eye before taking a deep breath to calm down a little. "Seems like we're not so different after all!" Now it was his son's turn to be stunned into silence. "I honestly thought you would have less problems than me with this!"

"What-" "Haha! Anyway, heh, let me show you how your mother taught me how to heat it up properly..." The bigger demon then approached the counter with the bottles and filled the clean one that wasn't burnt with milk from the carton. "I'm guessing you were struggling with the heating process, yes?" Red Son awkwardly nodded at his father's observations. "And I'm guessing you tried heating it up with your own fire." Again, his son nodded.

"You're not supposed to heat it up yourself. We have a microwave for a reason", Demon Bull King added with an amused smirk. "Your own flames won't be able to safely keep the bottle intact while increasing the temperature at a consistent rate. Here-" He then placed the bottle in the microwave, closing its door before setting the timer and starting it up. The demon shrugged, "Now you wait. It's as simple as that."

Red Son looked at him dumbfounded before his frustration seemed to take over again. "Why the fuck didn't I think of that?? UGH! I'M SO STUPID! THIS IS SO STUPID!" His hair started to flare up at his rage as he clenched his fists.

"Do you truly believe having a child with your wife is stupid?"

His father's question brought him back down again. Calming him, but also catching him a little off-guard. "W- What? No... No, of course not! I love my child!"

Demon Bull King huffed with a smile, "Well, then you need to learn and adapt to your child's needs to raise him well. It might be annoying keeping up with it all, but it will help his life improve a lot." He followed up on his words by picking up one of the burnt bottles, inspecting it. "Don't forget, you agreed on having a child with (Y/N). And as part of that agreement, your child is your responsibility too." His eyes then glanced at the shorter demon's surprised expression. Red Son did not consider that his father could give him advice just like his mother.

His thoughts were cut off when the microwave suddenly beeped, indicating that the bottle was now heated. He opened the door and to no one's surprise, the bottle was still fully intact and the milk was now warm. And despite the heat it held within, he had no problem grasping the bottle with his bare hand and closing the microwave once more. He then gave his father a very small bow with his head, "Thank you for your help, father."

The Demon Bull King chuckled, lightly patting his son on his head, "You better move along now and tell your wife about the nursery. Pretty sure she wants to drop off the baby back in the crib aga-"

K A B O O M

Both demons froze in shock, startled at the sudden explosion. Thinking they were under attack, they quickly made their way back to their wives in a hurry. Until they heard your distressed, but also oddly calm voice coming from the dining hall.

"Um- I- I didn't know he could do that! I'm so sorry!"

"It's all good, dear- We, uh, can just fix it right back up! Don't worry about it!" Princess Iron Fan responded, sounding quite concerned about the situation.

Both men entered the dining hall and watched as there was now a giant hole in the wall. Its borders as well as part of the debris were engulfed by flames. You and PIF didn't seem harmed, just extremely shocked at what you two just witnessed. Meanwhile little (C/N) was giggling again, with the same giggle from the time he set the crib on fire in front of his grandpa.

"...Are you sure I'm not a failure of a father?" Red Son asked rhetorically, his hands gesturing towards the scene with an expression that could only be read as 'Bruh'. Demon Bully King couldn't help but stare at the giant hole in the wall as a confused Bull Clone walked by on the other side.

Turns out your child could not only sneeze fire, but also create a stronger version of it that acts like a fiery bullet explosion. 'Huh, parenthood turns out be more and more fun with each day', you thought somewhat sarcastically, suddenly becoming more tired by the second as you dropped off your adrenaline. Your husband ended up helping you feed the bottle to the baby since he noticed how much more tired you looked.

In the meantime, Princess Iron Fan told both bull demons about what happened and how you and Red Son should be careful with your child's newfound abilities. The fact that he already possessed such powers within the first month was concerning.

It didn't take long for MK's gang to get permission to visit once your baby was properly settled into your home. The Demon Bull Family was a little bit wary about the gang's visits at first, but they quickly got used to their presence. Mainly because they weren't usually bothering the two of them in the first place. They were rather out to bother you, your husband and your little flame.

You never even met your husband's friends before their visits, so you were glad they all were kind and seemed to be enamored by your child. Red Son made sure to tell them beforehand about the potential fire sneezes that can happen. He also gave them other general warnings of abilities you two picked up on while observing the little one.

But with that being said, the gang had a lot of fun interacting with the kid. And it was quite surprising to see him not freaking out over all the attention he was being given. Well, for the most part... He did cry during their first visit due to MK and Mei's constant screaming. However, after telling them to be quiet around the baby, things seemed to be a lot more at peace with them.

Tang was extremely curious about the child's early powers while Pigsy was seen smiling a lot more around the baby. Sandy usually brought gifts with each visit, especially non-flammable, or at least highly fire resistant toys for the baby.

And Wukong was... on edge. At first, at least.

Of course he congratulated you two and also found the baby adorable. But after you told him about the chaotic incidents the child has caused... He was a bit cautious. Not for his safety, but for your and the gang's safety... Also the universe's, but Red Son and DBK already told him about how your child does not seem to possess the same type of power as the Samadhi Fire. At least that bit of information made the Monkey King loosen up enough to enjoy his stay around the child more.

In general, things were getting a lot more interesting for your family. Especially because Red Son suggested having another child in the future once you got your current child's powers under control.

Because apparently one fire-sneezing baby is not enough.

> Masterlist <

[durrtydawg]

Lump

{Sam Drake x F!Reader}

This is a lil love letter to those of you who feel like you’re not worthy of being loved in the same way as those in smaller bodies. Not expecting much traction on this, but it's self-indulgent and I'm just happy I wrote something. Though primarily written with chunky gals (me) in mind, I still hope this can soothe anyone who feels uncomfortable in their own skin. CW: There’s a subtle discussion of fat fetish subculture here (it is absolutely NOT glorified- Quite the opposite, in fact. No shame to those who dig that kind of thing, but it’s not my vibe which I’m sure you’ll be able to tell), so if that’s something you feel uncomfortable thinking about, pls move on. Of course, I wrote this with Sam in mind because I’m a whore, but honestly, this could just be anyone. I’m struggling big time, but this was a nice spoonful of medicine and a necessary moment of reflection. Not for everyone, but regardless, I hope you enjoy :) x

Masterlist

Sam’s hands are used to ‘rough’. To unforgiving iron bars. Crumbling stone. Splintered wood. The stippled rubber of weaponry grip. He’s got the callouses to prove it.

For a long time, it was all he knew. It was him. Rough. There was never a need for contrast.

He thought that it would demand caution. To have to sacrifice everything he’d started to reclaim and do for himself. He doesn’t want to be careful. So for a long time, he avoided anything ‘soft’.

But with her, he realised that not only did he want it, but he needed it. With her, he can indulge. With her, he’s able to grab and squeeze and tug with abandon. To soothe the soreness of his fingertips within her smooth, yielding ‘soft’. 

To him, she is everything, even when she saw herself as nothing.

She’s not a reflection of glossy front covers. Nor the proportionately sculpted forms that stand sentinel in the halls of museums or the centre of fountains. She doesn’t believe it, but to him, she has always been a masterpiece unto herself.

‘A lump’, she used to call herself. A playground insult. Not harmless, but on the surface, tame. “I’m a lump compared to all these girls.”

He was cooking— the first time he heard her say it. She was perched on the counter, traipsing from one online clothing store to the next, paying more attention to the models than the outfits. He laughed. “Ridiculous,” he replied, shaking his head as the wooden spoon in his hand cut through bubbling ragu- a specialty. A comfort. Reminiscent of his mother’s existence. He held the spoon up to her lips, prying her face away from blue light with a hand stretched over her thigh.

To him, the word ‘lump’ meant discomfort. An anomaly. A flaw. A slab of something undesirable that took up space much to the disdain of others in its proximity. In his eyes she was the furthest away from any of those things he thought possible.

“Here. It’s missing somethin’.” 

He lied.

He knew it was perfect. He just wanted to watch her eat. To pass his mother’s affection to her.

She hesitated, then shook her head.

He frowned, hand moving from thigh to soft jaw. “Open up f’me”, he urged, eyes narrowed.

A warm flush tinted her cheeks and eye contact broke. 

For a fleeting moment, she considered whether or not there there was a deep-rooted fetish involved in his attraction to her. So she asked him if that was the case.

When he realised what she was implying, for the first time, he saw the cracks ran deeper than just a childish nickname. She was so worn down that she truly believed the only way someone could find her attractive was if they reduced her to some sort of Machiavellian fixation.

He realised that the thought had crossed his mind once before. And he hated himself for it.

He’d read about it years ago- it was featured in some dirty contraband magazine whilst he was inside. He found himself reflecting on it again after he’d gotten hard from her licking cake batter off the spoon when he’d visited her apartment for the first time. But he had come to the conclusion the whole kink thing wasn’t him. This wasn’t objectification. Control. Coercion. He’d feel the same regardless of her size. 

It wasn't about the superficial aspects of her appearance or some strange fetishisation of consumption and weight, but rather about nourishing her in every sense of the word. Mind, body, soul.

She’d called herself a lump. This was merely his way of telling her that she was wrong. That she’s just as deserving of food and love and sex as anyone else.

And with that realisation, the fear that had momentarily gripped him slipped away as he swore there was nothing untoward about the way he felt about her.

He understood the depth of his feelings. For once, his words didn’t fail him, and he explained it plainly: he loved her. All of her. He’d found a sense of purpose and belonging he had never known before. He wanted her to feel cherished. Cared for. To make up for everyone who had ever done her wrong, and equally, showing that he was capable of nurturing in a way that he’d not been shown since his childhood. This was therapeutic for him.

Months later, he’d caught her crying in front of the mirror. An outfit not looking the way she wanted it to. And she did it again. Called herself a ‘lump’. This time, he didn’t laugh. She argued back at him when he told her not to call herself shit like that. That she was gorgeous just as she was. She called him a liar. Spat venom. But he kept on repeating it. That she’s beautiful. That she’s everything. Again and again, even as he fucked her against the mirror, kissing away tears and revering in every inch of her beauty that she despised.

She cried again that night. But this time it was because he had finally begun to turn her self perception on its sorry head.

He needs the soft, yes, but here she realised she needs the rough. The persistent reminders and the tough love.

Sam’s insomnia is a blessing now. He listens to her breathe and watches her eyelids twitch, smiling to himself as he wonders what she’s dreaming about, legs tangled, skin on skin. She hugs his arm into her chest as his other traverses over the curves and bumps and dimples she’s trying so hard to fall in love with the same way he has.

He whispers words of adoration, hoping they'll seep into those dreams, mending the cracks in her fragile self-esteem. And more. Kintsugi.

Sam sighs into her skin. Once upon a time the things he whispers to her would’ve been a front. Cheap flattery. Dive bar bait. Generic honey that drips off of the tongue and down into strangers’ ears so they get lured in just long enough for a moment of selfish pleasure.

But now the honey comes from his heart. The pit of his stomach. The deepest recesses of his mind. Genuine and raw. Just for her. 

It’s frightening. One day you’re single and proud of it, swearing never to shackle yourself down with commitment and societal expectations, and the next, you’re ready to lay down your entire life for the sake of helping someone realise their self-worth.

He knows that loving her isn't just about declaring shallow affection— it's about showing her, in every tender touch and lingering gaze, that she is worthy of worship, exactly as she is. And as he holds her close, thumb smoothing over her cheek as she sleeps, he vows to spend a lifetime proving it.

[brooooswriting]

Hello there ! I was wondering if I could request Wednesday & insecure!female!reader?

Like one day she just ask Wednesday why she couldn’t look as pretty as the other girls, why her hair wasn’t perfect every day, why she couldn’t be genuinely happy all the time and if Wednesday ever thought about it too?

Just some fluff and hurt/comfort❤️❤️

I hope you like this:)

All the pretty girls

Why do our brains always trick us into believing that we’re not enough? That was a question you often asked yourself, and the question why you actually weren’t enough. You haven’t felt like you’re enough since you could think and honestly, until Wednesday came along, nobody every gave you the feeling that you were.

You had a sister she’s has always been the beauty and the smart one while you were, well, what were you? The name ‘almost’ seems pretty fitting, you were almost as beautiful as your sister, you were almost able to go get the same grades as her and you were almost not fucked up. Since you could think your family told you stuff like “you aren’t that stupid” and “you know, your sister is so beautiful but that doesn’t mean that you aren’t. You’re just… different”.

These were things that “probably caused you to have body dysmorphia”, so principal Weems who often talked to you about your problems. You didn’t really talk about them with anyone else, Wednesday was uncomfortable when talking about emotions which is why you decided to leave her out of it. She already had to deal with someone like you as a girlfriend.

Your insecurities and dysmorphia had their up and downs, there were days where you almost seemed normal but then there were days where you could barely Stop crying when you saw yourself and you just couldn’t stop comparing yourself to others.

Just like today, your day already started terrible when you looked into the mirror to see four new pimples in your already ugly face and your hair didn’t want to be tamed today. And it got way worse when you saw Wednesday at Bianca with love in her eyes.

This was nothing against Bianca in general, it was more against how she looked and how smart she was. How could she be so awesome while you were just you? It didn’t seem fair to you, you fairly tried everything to get prettier but here you were still ugly. It all sucked and you were nearly having an attack.

You barely made it through your last two classes without a break down, but you did it now sitting on Wednesday’s bed while she pursued her writing hour. It wasn’t uncommon for you to sit there in silence while she wrote but right now you just wanted comfort. Unable to just lay still you decided to busy yourself with your phone, instagram to be exact.

And this was your downfall, you saw so many pretty girls that your mind went into a spiral. “Why do you like me?” You suddenly asked Wednesday pulling your knees up to your chest. “What?” The girl turned around her facing showing small signs of confusion. Sure, sometimes you were pretty random but this was new.

“Why do you like me huh? Why don’t you like Bianca or Yoko?! Or maybe you do like them and I’m just a toy for you to play with! Is that what I am? Just a thing to do when you’re bored? An experiment?!” By now you knew that you were talking bullshit but your mind made you believe it. You angrily stood up walking in front of the mirror, tears filling your eyes.

Wednesday hesitated for a second looking at Thing before standing up and walking behind you. She didn’t hug you, she just stood close to you looking into your eyes through the mirror.

“Be honest, you also think about it right?” You whispered looking down to avoid even more tears. “Think about what?” The Addams girl asked, her body tightly pressing against yours. “About why I’m so different to the other girls. Why isn’t my hair always perfect? And why I’m so ugly and why can’t I always be happy like the others? You thought about it too right?” You were rambling and it started to hurt wednesdays head. Not the rambling on it’s own, she was used to that from you and Enid, but the way you talked about yourself made her mad.

The dark girl always hated physical contact but in this moment she wanted nothing more than to hold you and keep you safe so she did. Her arms wrapped around your waist from behind and she pulled you into her even more. “The only things I ever thought about were why you’re so beautiful and how I can make you realize that” she whispered into your ear her voice softer than ever.

The older Addams sibling moved the two of you to her bed laying down cuddling. “Look cara Mia, I’ve noticed this behavior in you rather often and I also believe that you have body dysmorphia. You’re beautiful, your hair looks perfect daily and you’re the best thing that has happened to me and you talking about yourself like this is torture. And not the good kind” she comforted you, gently kissing your lips.

It was clear that she was a bit uncomfortable and stiff but she would do anything for you. “I’m sorry that I interrupted your writing time” you mumbled into her neck. “That’s alright, but do you think you could tell me what happened?” Her voice was back to her stoic one but you knew she cared nonetheless.

“I’ve never been good enough for anyone, my family always compared me to my oh so wonderful sister, and all her friends. I’ve never gotten a ‘you did good’ or ‘you’re enough’ while she was always so perfect. It hurt and Weems said it probably left scars on my self esteem. Today… today when you were talking to Bianca you seemed so intrigued into her beauty and it made me self conscious” you explained playing with her fingers, a habit when you were nervous.

“Cara Mia, we talked about you, that’s why I was so intrigued” she whispered caressing your back carefully. Your lips were pressed together in some soft pecks. “Thank you, my dark cloud” you mumbled before falling asleep.

The moment when Wednesday saw that you fell asleep she kissed your forehead promising to never let you feel like an ‘almost’ again.

[amourdivine]

𝑨 𝑴𝑬𝑺𝑺𝑨𝑮𝑬 𝑭𝑹𝑶𝑴 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑭𝑨𝑰𝑹𝑰𝑬𝑺

hello, my angels! in this intuitive reading i will be channeling messages from fairies. whether you believe in them or not is totally up to you, but i thought this would be something fun to deliver & interesting as well! please take the messages as they resonate best for you. if you enjoyed this reading, please consider tipping me via paypal @ amourdivinetarot@gmail.com! feedback is always welcome. much love & light to you!

how to choose your pile.  take deep breaths for a few minutes & look at each and every one of the piles separately. which pile sparks a feeling inside you? which pile gives you a strong memory or calls out to you the most? take your time and feel free to come back to it later.

the piles.

1 → 2 3 → 4

♡ ♡ ♡     pick a card masterlist & information.

disclaimer. this reading is for entertainment purposes only. it is not a substitute for medical and professional advice, nor is it meant to be taken as such. i do not take responsibility for any choice(s) made by you or others regarding my readings. please remember you are responsible for life and in power of it, no one else! ♡

amourdivine. © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐎𝐍𝐄.

Pile one, do you connect or speak to your angels a lot? I could be totally wrong here, but there’s something about Archangel Michael that might be significant for some of you! I think you’re very spiritually aware of many things, but you may doubt yourself a lot and sometimes feel like you’re going insane thanks to all of the confusion in your head and overthinking as well. Honestly, I even got a little bit of chest pain for this pile and it feels like you’re carrying something heavy all by yourself.

Fairies are very light and small beings, but they’re whimsical and magical. People may underestimate their cleverness or abilities thanks to their size, but they’re always outsmarting their obstacles, escaping traps and in some movies, it’s a common theme for people to attempt to cage or tame them in a way. I’m also thinking of pixies and their cunning, dubious nature. They trust their perception and intuition to solve problems and aren’t afraid to take the less traveled road. For you, this would mean finding ways to self-soothe (especially physically, like wearing comfortable clothes and maintaining your body well-nurtured) as well as connecting to your spiritual beliefs. You have a lot of different people and words chiming in right now, maybe a lot of unhelpful or unwanted advice that is making you confused, which is why self-soothing will be important to calm your mind & body so you can listen to your inner voice.

You may feel incapable of solving your problems, way too small compared to the issues you’re facing, but remember the lighthearted nature of fairies, their magical way of solving problems creatively despite other people’s skepticism or pessimism. You don’t have to do it all at once - or even alone. Fairies are incredibly social and communicative beings, each of them with a specific skill or knowledge. You’ll find that other people also have a lot of magic in themselves, and so do you. Opening up to the possibilities of better relationships, a better future and your inner voice can be scary, but it’ll lead you to a lot of interesting places. You have what it takes to exist in this world. You have something magical, brave and unique about you. It’s okay to tap into that and trust it.

additional messages: 333, capricorn stellium, virgo in 7th house, istj, intj, “make it or break it”, broadway star, valedictorian, “go big or go home”, leo mercury, aries rising.

♡ ♡ ♡ if you enjoyed this reading, please consider tipping me via paypal @ amourdivinetarot@gmail.com!

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐓𝐖𝐎.

I keep seeing confetti for this pile. I could even smell something sweet, though I’m not wearing any kind of perfume or fragrance at the moment. It feels like this pile is in celebration - if not now, soon. Is your birthday near, pile two? I can see someone blowing out candles and wearing a silly party hat. There’s a free and childlike feel to your pile, but I think it was earned through a lot of lessons and you may not have always been this way. Later at some point you could’ve realized life was too short to live it in a non-authentic way and you let loose a little bit. If you haven’t, maybe that’s what your next journey is all about: learning to take in the joy and leaving whatever doesn’t suit you any longer. 

The fairies really want you to have fun, pile two. Either to keep engaging in the habits that are bringing you joy and health or create new ones that’ll give you a bright outlook on life again. Even if you’ve been in your shell and this message isn’t resonating because nothing in your life feels like a party, there are small steps to take in order to fulfill your emotional needs. It’s interesting because I feel that some of you might be reading this at ungodly hours at night, depriving yourself of sleep, all tucked in a blanket and blankly staring at this reading like… “what do you mean, party? Fun? Flirting?”

Here’s the thing: find the definition of a “party” for you. Beyond anyone else’s idea of going clubbing or drinking, you may find that jamming to music all alone is your equivalent to partying. Or you may find that knitting all afternoon with your cousin or grandmother brings you this joy I’m speaking of. I wish you could feel it too right now, this spontaneity that the fairies are offering you. Even if you’re already someone who’s quite fun-loving, the fairies are encouraging you to not lose this side of yours. I’m being taken to the Patch Williams’ movie for some reason - it’s a really beautiful story about a doctor who aims to make his patients laugh & have the most humanly possible good time whilst they’re sick or being cared for.

All rambling aside, the fairies want you to embrace and keep embracing this light energy. You may find that going out into the sun helps or connecting to small animals, even insects, for some of you? Simply to remember the joy of being alive in this world. It may not always be easy, but your life is always worth celebrating, pile two.  Remember you’re a gift, too. PS: Go to sleep, pile two. You’ve been awake for far too long!

additional messages: “life’s a highway”, chocolat au lait, 26, 7, saturn return, 666, vanilla cake, “cherry on top”, nose boops, silly made-up emojis, inside jokes, discord group chat.

♡ ♡ ♡ if you enjoyed this reading, please consider tipping me via paypal @ amourdivinetarot@gmail.com!

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄.

tw: mental health discussions, childhood trauma, grief/depression.

There’s always a pile that I feel like hugging and soothing and this is you, pile three. I immediately want to ask you if you’re okay. Maybe you’ve been crying recently or simply prior to this reading and your heart space might feel all kinds of heavy or foggy right now. There’s always a time and place in tarot readings for some tough love or advice, but this isn’t the case for you and if anything, I think you need someone or something to hold space for you to feel whatever you’re feeling right now.

I don’t necessarily get that you’re the cause of your pain. I don’t think anyone deserves pain and that includes you as well. The messages here are so loud and clear, because immediately as I started typing, I could sense that someone may need a hug. So here’s my hug, in form of words and reassurance, yeah?

This might sound a little cheesy or cliché, but you know, when you cry, heavens and the angels cry with you. You may not believe in angels, fairies or heaven per se, but what I mean is that this higher source - whatever you call it - sees it and never wishes any harm upon you. It’d be easy to tell you that everything happens for a reason, but I’m not the rule of the universe and I don’t really know how it works, because I’m just a small speck in a sea of light, but I can say that it gets better from here. There’s a heartwarming vision coming to my mind’s eye of tiny little pixies forming this little circle or surrounding you whenever you’re crying, like they’re hoping that their magic dust will sprinkle on you and make you just a bit lighter.

Your heart won’t always feel so heavy. For some reason, I’m getting a lot of songs and lyrics that could relate to you, especially a few by Sleeping at Last. I think I might’ve recommended it in a previous reading, but in whichever case, the songs “Daughter”, “Light” and “Heart” are really coming to me. Maybe, if you feel called to give them a listen, I’d suggest that. Another thing about songs is that you might find it useful to create a comforting playlist or some sort of toolbox which allows you to care for your feelings when you’re falling into this difficult mindset.

Teddy bears could be helpful (don’t be ashamed if you’re not a kid! It’s okay!), weighted blankets and dim lights, either with candles or a yellow-ish light on your bedroom. I think some of you may have had issues with family (especially your mother figure) and that could’ve caused you to feel needy or like your needs are too much. You may have a specific mental health condition that makes it hard for you to “feel normal” and you need to know there’s no shame in that. We’re all wired differently.

This pile got a little lengthy (I’m so sorry!) but I wanted to deliver the most heartwarming messages possible and you must know that you’re supported. Even when it doesn’t feel like it. The fairies want you to know that the magic, the good and the pure in this world still exist even when there’s darkness, even when people have tried to take it away from you, your heart has remained and will always remain untainted. You’re loved, pile three.

additional messages: comfort pillow, pale blue, neptune or pisces, heavy moon influence, mermaids, water energy, pet, angel, puppies, innocence, “you’ve got so much heart”.

♡ ♡ ♡ if you enjoyed this reading, please consider tipping me via paypal @ amourdivinetarot@gmail.com!

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑.

It was a bit difficult to connect to your pile, but hello there! You might be the heavily practical and mental, yet somewhat present pile. There’s a sense of you being a control freak or someone who’s overburdened by responsibility, expectations and oddly enough, I heard “karma”? I think you could be clearing out certain behaviors or patterns in your family that have been going around for way too long and it might be taking you longer than you desired. You could be getting impatient with yourself, maybe by being your worst critic or pushing harder and harder. 

You have a “responsible & stressed parent” energy to you. I think you could’ve dealt with emotionally immature partners or people who underperformed in general and benefited from your hard working nature. In one way or another, you’re realistic enough to know that no one can be the “be all, end all” to everything and everyone, but it’s like you keep trying, no? And if only you knew the power of extending yourself the mercy and grace of being human - imperfectly perfect - you might realize how much strength you’ve had all along.

The fairies here want you to be a little self-indulgent, a little more gentle on yourself. You don’t have to carry the world on your shoulders or even try to, because that was never your responsibility in the first place! You might be on “go mode” so much that you’ve barely stopped to notice all the progress you’ve made… and trust me, it’s far more than you realize. Maybe everything feels so stressful, chaotic or overbearing that you’ve forgotten any sort of self-care routine or how to do things for the sake of it.

You’re in dire need of care, pile four. It’s like the fairies want you to take a breather before you stumble in your own ways and get burnt out. There’s a lot of Libra and Virgo for this pile, not sure why these signs keep coming through, but you might be obsessed with a certain idea of beauty, perfection or achievement for your life and this one track mind led you to believe you’d only be happy if you achieved it.

There’s nothing wrong with you. You can slow down, that’s what the fairies want you to know. That you can dance, sing and do simple, nonsensical things without having the need to produce something or achieve something behind it. “Not everything has to be a task,” I just saw someone closing a planner and gently scolding a loved one about rest. You’re brilliant, pile four. It’s okay to slow down. You have nothing left to prove to anyone, so why strive? You’re enough as you are. No titles, diplomas, jobs, relationship status or amount of money could change the inherent worth in you. Breathe.

additional messages: 90s, heavy nostalgia, nickelodeon, Cool Kids by Echosmith, virgo mercury, virgo venus, saturn in scorpio, Tokyo, dark academia, gemini in 3rd house, About Damn Time by Lizzo.

♡ ♡ ♡ if you enjoyed this reading, please consider tipping me via paypal @ amourdivinetarot@gmail.com!

[showtoonzfan]

I honestly need to rant real quick, but I’m so fucking tired of HH/HB fans acting like the reason why some of us don’t like Vivziepop today is because of all the stupid shit she pulled back in the day around 2013-2015 or whatever, basically in her old art days, and guess what? I don’t give a shit about ANY of that. I can’t speak for the other critic blogs, but here’s MY take. No I don’t think she’s racist, no I don’t think she’s a pedophile, no I don’t care about the whole “SHE TRACED SHIT” situation, no I don’t care about the weird Zoophobia art she drew back in the day, trust me, I could care less about the old controversies that came up at the time, that’s not why I hold so much resentment towards her.

I hold so much resentment towards her because she’s just a bully and an asshole who never learns. She never changed in my eyes, she continues to be this petty, unprofessional woman who can’t take criticism, knocks those down who don’t like her shows, handles many situations horribly like having public meltdowns on twitter or enabling her fanbase to do stupid shit. She NEVER takes accountability for her actions, she never has for fucking years. She didn’t take accountability for all the shit she’s done to Starvader, Kat, and Dollcreep (even if they were in the wrong too) and when she DOES take accountability, it’s the most half assed, gaslighting thing ever. She uses her trauma as an excuse, and rarely acts like an adult when mishaps happen, like how she joined that random livestream of a fan expressing their beef with the HB episode 8 announcement, going to the comments and typing out this pick me sob fest, which caused her fans to attack that person so badly until they left the fandom completely, or how she sent her lawyer after Erin Frost despite Erin the first time not breaking any NDA’s and only sharing their experience working for the crew. Even though she was more controversial in the old days, there’s COUNTLESS shit she’s done in the 2019-Present era that had made me heavily dislike her.

She may be more tame compared to how she was in her deviant art and tumblr days, but in my opinion she just never changed, she just knows how to hide it better. She’s not an idiot, she knows she has a huge ass fandom right behind her who worships the ground she walks on, and she uses that to her advantage. She can’t be touched. I would have respected her if she actually took accountability and stopped acting so dumb with her opinions, how her head is so far up her ass since she’s bisexual and thinks that anyone who doesn’t like her shows are either homophobes or haters, or any of the other dumb takes she has, but she can’t for the life of her wake up and get her shit together. She’s an asshole, she’s mistreated people horribly in the past, she gaslights anyone who thinks she could be better, and she acts like a woman child. THAT’S why I don’t like her, not because of her freaking art, because of her as a person. And it’s honestly just sad. This is just my opinion, feel free to disagree.

[radfemfox5]

LOL that guy you were arguing with a few days ago changed his entire blog. i think you radicalized him LMFAOOO

here's him still malding about your argument: https://www.tumblr.com/mommabearlaciii/732929534465359873

It's been 3 days, honey. Why are you acting like a martyr? Please move on. Get a job. Or a hobby.

This is doubly hilarious to me because he warns others not to waste their time speaking to radfems while wasting multiple days seething about our conversation, to the point that he changed his whole blog...

Guess I have to address this in its entirety since he won't shut the fuck up about it. Buckle up, gyns.

For some added context as to why I immediately assumed this was a troll when I saw his post, this is what his blog looked like:

Jeez, I thought, what a terrible troll. It was so on the nose as to be comical. I soon realized that he was anything but a troll.

I was incredibly tame in my response to his insanely misogynistic post, to the point where I chided myself afterwards for not going harder on him.

In retrospect, being "civil" with him was the best way to go, as my reblog is simple, concise and clear: woman = female. That's literally it.

In spite of how simple my comment was, he still went on an unhinged rant mere minutes after I pressed reblog. It's honestly not worth reading, but for the sake of transparency I'll include screenshots.

Honestly, I was shocked to see how quickly he typed this whole thing out. Rage must increase your typing speed.

It's pretty funny to me that someone whose blog name used to be "adult human female" got so incredibly mad at me for stating that women are female. Shouldn't you agree with me, if you think trans women are female? Hm.

Following this, I wasn't planning on interacting with him again. I left a one word reply and thought that would be it. He kept replying with questions, which devolved into an extremely long exchange in the replies that had some interesting moments. Like him elaborating on why he believes trans women become female, which boils down to "amalgamation of female-approximate traits = female."

Source for his claim that sex is a bimodal distribution between two poles? No clue.

Basically this:

The graph he provided in lieu of a source:

I'm confused about this graph for multiple reasons, namely, the fact that it conflates sex and gender. Mostly, I'm confused about the extremities. Are the people on the far left of the graph "ultra female", and people on the far right "ultra male"? It's complete nonsense, not to mention that he doesn't provide a link to the source this graph is from, it's a commentated screenshot of a tweet with the graph.

Looking into it, the graph comes from a blog post by a transgender real estate agent. I would not consider this a reliable or credible source whatsoever, especially when the post goes on to say this:

You heard it here first, folks, having a small penis means you're less male, and a larger clitoris means you're less female. That makes total sense. I was half expecting them to include this image:

Back to the post: I attempted to explain to him that being in the female range of a specific trait doesn't mean you're female, without much success.

Speaking with him felt like trying to capture a feral cat. It was like I kept having to appease him with treats to keep him from hissing and scampering off. I've never had this feeling when speaking to any other trans person on this webbed site, they usually either block me immediately or have a conversation and then block me when they realize I actually have valid arguments to make. It was definitely a new experience for me. I have screenshots if anyone cares enough to see the full thing.

He did end up realizing I wasn't as complacent as he thought, and blocked me after leaving another beautiful essay in my DMs. The post that pushed him over the edge? The one where I made fun of the breastfeeding fetishist nominal.naomi. Why? Because I implied that males are ugly slobs that can't take pictures. Lol.

It's funny that this interaction seemingly got him to reconsider his time on Tumblr, to the point that he did a complete 180.

You know what, I'll take it. Some of his posts unintentionally call for gender abolition and acknowledge gendered labour inequalities. Sure, he reinforces gendered stereotypes while doing so, but at least he's saying something.

If I can get a misogynistic lesbian fetishist to change his entire blog to regurgitate basic feminist talking points and think he's owning Le TERFs... That's probably the funniest thing to happen to me here.

To be clear, that doesn't make him any less violent towards women he disagrees with.

To conclude: This entire exchange has made me realize that I don't have that many serious posts on this blog compared to my previous blogs. I'll start working on some more serious posts. If you gyns have any suggestions for subjects I could discuss in more of a serious or analytical tone, feel free to shoot me an ask or a DM.

[yanderes-galore]

So, it started!

Fandom: Overwatch

Character: Ana

Type of fic: concepts

Thx :)

It's time to write for grandma, let's go! I definitely want to write more for her in the future. She has potential to be written much worse but for now this concept is rather tame.

Yandere! Ana Amari Concept

(FT. Yandere! Platonic! Pharah/Fareeha Amari)

Pairing: Romantic (Ana)/Platonic (Pharah)

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Overprotective behavior, Manipulation, Drugging (Sleep Darts). Violence briefly mentioned, Kidnapping, Slight degrading behavior, Trauma mention, Forced relationship.

Honestly Ana is such a mom to most of the characters.

She has been through a lot due to being a sniper for Overwatch back when it was at its prime.

Now she's retired and instead is a vigilante in hiding.

I feel Ana's equipment already gives her potential.

She literally has sleep darts and a vial that can either heal or poison.

She's responsible and caring, characteristics that would carry over when she meets you.

Ana would care for you if you were a member of Overwatch or a civilian friend.

Overall she would definitely be a parental yandere, one who isn't afraid to discipline you if you go against her.

I'd expect her to mom you at times as she does it to other characters.

Another thing I've noticed in the limited Ana content out there is Pharah, her daughter, may encourage her obsession.

I actually like this idea as you'd technically have two yanderes.

They're almost like a package deal.

Ana hasn't had a romantic partner in years ever since Pharah's father.

Plus, Pharah likes to see her mother happy.

Even when she likes you in the romantic sense she acts like she knows best.

There's probably some sort of age gap between you which allows her to hold that over your head.

She's teasing with you but also serious.

Ana would want to provide you with a good life as she herself has been through a lot.

If anything she feels she could enjoy her life better with you by her side.

Even when she returns to help fight for a world she wants to live in as a vigilante she is sure to prioritize you.

Ana would definitely keep you in a secret home she picked so you and her have somewhere to live.

Probably only her and Pharah know where exactly the place is.

She says it's primarily to keep you safe.

Speaking of which, Ana is a yandere driven by the urge to protect you.

She is wise enough to know not to be jealous or too possessive.

That's the perk of her being older.

She isn't inexperienced, she's mellowed out compared to how she was when she was younger.

As a result her obsession is more tame.

She'll give you what you want as long as you understand keeping you hidden is keeping you safe.

If you fight her or decide to “throw a fit”, then Ana has a solution.

She always seems to have that dart gun on her.

If you act up, she'll warn you to stop.

If you don't? Sleep tight.

Ana is a yandere who trains your obedience.

Like a pet, even if she doesn't view you as such, she teaches you the rules of her house.

When you understand why you're here with her she's much nicer.

She offers to dance with you and keeps you cared for.

When Pharah visits she expects you to greet her like she's your daughter.

Because at this point… she is.

In Ana's eyes you're (unofficially) spouses.

So you do become Pharah's second parent in a way.

Meaning you're most likely somewhere in your 40's or 50's in this concept?

Obviously Ana falls into the overprotective and manipulative category.

She feels she knows best and gives herself the responsibility of caring for her family.

She hasn't felt that way in a long time.

In fact… she feels she's missed it.

Everyone else may think she's dead except you, Pharah, and Jack.

But she prefers it, the privacy is nice.

Ana likes it when it's just you and her.

She likes it when she calls you over to cuddle and she just gets to relax… even if it's just for a little while.

She may be unable to get a vacation for a long while but for now this is enough.

All she feels she needs is you and Pharah.

Ana would do anything to keep her new family.

Be it murder… or trapping you beside her… she doesn't mind as long as she has you.

[dumborangecat]

Fionna and Cake predictions!! !SPOILERS!

(these are heavily based on parts 1 & 2 of my analysis, and reference them frequently so they might not make sense without reading it) (they also may contradict eachother as i have multiple different ideas for what may happen)

Just realised i accidently became the very thing i hated, and called something an ‘analysis’ while most of it is just going over the plot, please take this as a token of apology

1. The vampire universe.

Based on the images we get and the order they come in for the trailer, my guess is that when Simon and the gang arrive in vamp world they get jumped by a group of vampires. Based on the fact we seem to see them in a different place later without any convinient new travel companions it’s likely they make it out without help.

I have 2 ideas for the canon that we see pointed at Simon Fionna and Cake (SFC since i’m too lazy to keep typing all that)

- The canon is manned by a vampire and shoots out either more vamps or maybe even marceline herself. The image we see of her zooming through the air she’s in a very ‘aerodynamic’ pose, with her arms right to her sides and knees entirely unbent, the same pose one would be in if they’d just been shot out of a canon, while the other vampires are very spread out, looking more like cats when they lunge at their prey. This would also explain Simons shock and concern compared to F&C’s more tame ‘oh there’s a canon now’ type look. It would be pretty shocking to see basically your daughter about to be shot out of a canon, directly towards you.

- The canon actually shoots out the garlic bombs we see go off later. This theory also means i’ts likely manned by (probably) Huntress wizard we see later (presumably) shooting at either SFC or the vampires. I think she likely does this because she’s never seen these people before and assumes their either vampires, or just some other threat. This still explains simons shock (sort of) as it’s not everyday you see a garlic bomb canon, and he’s smart enough to realise that probably means their mistaken for a vamp, while fionna and cake have never seen a garlic bomb before and would just be confused.

If if is marcilene coming out of there, that probably won’t go over well when she realises that it’s simon she’s being shot at. We don’t see her simon in the trailer or intro yet, but based on the fact that she’s likely evil here, it’s safe to assume he’s no longer around to teach her proper morals and such. Whether he died, left her, or something else happened, we don’t know yet. But based on which of these 3 happened she’ll have a very different reaction to see simon now. It’s also possible that the crown just made him crazy way earlier, meaning he didn’t have as much time to like, ensure she doesn’t go evil by teacher her stuff like ‘vandalism is bad’ n stuff. If that is true, i think her hearing that there’s a simon out there who isn’t corrupted by the crown but is activly trying to be would royally piss her off.

We only really get shots of (probably) the middle/start of the episode, so there isn’t many clues to the ending but i have a few ideas. (Hopefully) seeing marcy again and likely getting reminded of how the crown hurt her before, would at the very least begin planting the seeds of doubt in Simon’s mind about the crown and if he won’t give it up for himself, he’ll consider giving it up to avoid hurting his friends n family back in ooo. Overall i’m super excited for that episode and the more in-depth look into simon and marcy’s relationship it’ll hopefully give.

2. Weird desert world thing!

Starting off we know this is set post-vampire world because the entire time Fionna is wearing this new green jacket (that honestly reminds me of Magic-woman-betty’s jacket but could just be a coincidence) that she doesn’t have in vamp world.

We get quite a few less shots of this episode sadly, so there’s less to work with, but i do have some thoughts,

Every single image we have in this desert place only has either Fionna, Cake, or BMO. Absolutely no Simon. leading me to believe somethings happened either to him or all 3 of them causing them to be seperated. What? I’m not sure, it’s possible he was captured by the scarab which would by an interesting route to go and (if people are correct about her being scarab’s boss) coukd even lead into Golbetty apearing, or there could just be a mix up and someone in the workd kidnapped him or smth. Either way it looks like he’s MIA for now.

BMO seems to be super importsnt this episode, getting a sort of dramatic-ish reveal but more importantly she has Ice kings secret tapes, and seems to be playing them for F&C. F&C seeing the tapes would no doubt change their perception of both Simon and Ice king, hopefuloy having them realise just how horrible possesing the crown was, but also seeing how Ice king wasn’t actually a fun guy who wrote silly little books but someone who was incredibly sad and lonely. This new perception of the two would hopefully lead them into no longer wanting ice king to put on the crown, and instead trying to find a different way to save their world.

It could also show to fionna that magic and adventures aren’t as fun as they first seem, and maybe push her into accepting her ‘mundane’ and ‘boring’ world as a place she actually does love and enjoy and is okay living in.

3. Simon & Betty (flashback)

we only get 4 images of this and they paint a relatively small picture about what actually happens but they paint one nonetheless

Based of these 4 images, it looks as though Simon and Betty are on a date of sorts. Simon also runs to Betty before she catches the bus to the airport for her trip. The date could happen before or after she doesn’t board the bus, but i think it’s after, not only because it’s a dark photo but i just don’t see how it would fit (narrativly) if it happened first. Basically it seem to be a flashback to the day simon and betty first met, fairly simple.

While i can’t come up with any more then that for the flashback, i do think it’s either something we see right before golbetty, or even during golbetty. possibly like a ‘remeber when we first met, and blah blah blah’ type thing to try and get betty to remember being betty (if she doesn’t in her golb form)

That’s all i can think of, i would add a golb section because of all the forshadowing we get but the foreshadowing isn’t enough to tell me what actually happens with golb so i left that out.

I’ll either look really smart or really stupid once fhe next episodes come out and i can’t wait to find out which

[lil-melody-moon]

Year Summary #2

We're here today to talk about music, yeah? Yeah...

Okay, let's do it like that. I've left off the last one with me getting into The Doors and let's pick it from that point!

This is long so...

I really went deep with The Doors. Honestly I'm glad I've got the chance to start my old music journey from them. Their lyrics are everything, music is something no one can replicate. Jim's voice is one of a kind, still sending shivers down my spine whenever I hear him. Not to mention the rest of the guys. Ray's beautiful playing, Robby's amazing guitar which sounds like nothing I've ever heard before, John's incredible drumming - while not paying much attention to his work at the very beginning I started doing so and damn his skill is amazing really. Honestly, I would like to get my hands on his book, the one he released this year.

From there I've stumbled upon The Beatles, just to drown in them. Literally drown. This is where I've started realizing that in the end I was listening to old music since the get go. One of the first two songs I remember hearing is "All You Need Is Love" by The Beatles. Even if it was a small fragment, I still remember the commercial they used it in and I could be what, 2 or 3 years old maybe? That's pretty young to remember something, song especially. Anyway, I wanted to give them a solid chance and only recalling that I know that "Yellow Submarine" song, I started from the album with the original score of the animated movie. Once I heard the first chord and words and Ringo's voice I was gone. I literally cried, I didn't hear this song for two years or more, I was hit with so much nostalgia, everything just came back to me. This tiny song appeared in my life when I was a shut in, when my grandpa was slowly dying, when I was close friends with a very toxic person and well, this tiny tune was my light in those awful times. Always managing to make me smile, dance a little bit and you know, I just started searching who sings it, knowing all four were singing on albums. Once I've found Ringo, I settled in the music, loving the old albums, going insane about "Help!" album especially, later "Abbey Road" - luck wanted that I got them very quickly and since then they are at home.

Ringo Starr was probably the first drummer to show me that drums can sound nice when they are not on the first place in a song, although the next phase, which is his solo work - not entire, I still have a lot of albums to listen to - I can certainly say that even if his drumming is tame for the most part, especially comparing to John Bonham's for example, it still is amazing, has its own charm and just makes me swing from one side to the other. And I will say this: Ringo took The Beatles' whole charm of music and put it back in in his solo works, mainly in his band era "Ringo Starr and His All-Starr Band". There's a certain shift between the 90s album "Time Takes Time" and his earlier works and this shift came in with full force, making his music even better than it normally was. Now, I might talk about his music like it would be the best thing in the world and you can tell me that it is mainly because I'm a Ringo girl myself, but like... His music is good, okay? Even my mom couldn't say no when I played her some songs - I think I actually made her a fan, but shhh ;3

And then, right after Ringo came Paul McCartney. He was slowly sneaking in from the beginning of my Beatles phase, but slowly, slowly, he finally got to me at May - we're not even half year through! He tried with music, I really started loving his music from "Help!" album - "Another Girl", "I've Just Seen a Face" my beloved <3 - and from there it only went downwards for me. Not only other songs of his started to get stuck in my head, but he started appearing on tumblr, facebook and then it was the day when I saw him in the 90s. Let's make a place for "Hope of Deliverance" here, because that song started it all in this year! And then I saw old Macca and again, I was gone. I'm weak to old Paul, no shame on that, but like... It took this guy so much to get to me! He tried through his solo career - first song I heard by him is "Wonderful Christmastime" - but also through collaborations - "The Girl Is Mine", "Say Say Say" - some Wings here and there - I actually got so shocked that I know "Live and Let Die" when i heard it! - and finally through The Beatles, succeeding just...

To be kicked out by John Bonham and my summer phase on Led Zeppelin. Now, I talked about Led Zep in the last year, but this band is never going away - just like The Beatles and one more band, but THAT later. I was actually still searching for my favorite band member at that time until it hit me why I started listening to them in the first place. Sure, Jimmy got me with "Babe I'm Gonna Leave You", sure Robert's voice is incredible - "Since I've Been Loving You", "I"m Gonna Crawl" OH MY GOD - but then I came to realization that the drums always hit where it should and it was when I started listening to the drums closely, just to be blown away for the third fucking time with this band! It was at the end of July and beginning of August and you know, I knew the whole discography already, but I kept discovering new gems and i still do. Mentioned earlier "I'm Gonna Crawl" is the latest obsession of mine, again John's drumming and Robert's vocals, but mainly the drumming! BUT, the PEAK is motherfucking "In My Time of Dying" and that won't ever change. I think only John's drum solos can compete with this one, nothing else can - unless I discover something else, but I talk about this song each time someone mentions Led Zeppelin so yeah. This is how bad it is XD

And here, we are in August... I was getting my ass into The Rolling Stones, when dad came by, saying "Let me show you Deep Purple!" and he did. I liked Jon Lord from the get go, but what actually convinced me to this band was this: I bought the "Made in Japan" album and heard "The Mule". PC went on full, speakers as well, Ian just blew me away! Then I listened to other songs. "Child in Time" getting to me right away, "Burn" album being the first one I listened on my own and the "Sail Away" becoming my favorite song. But that phase was short lived really. I still am up for listening to the rest of their discography, heck I most certainly will, they are amazing, but like... The end of August was nearing, 23rd exactly...

And you know, I was minding my own business on tumblr, really. Not searching for anything to get obsessed about, like I had whole Deep Purple to listen to, Rainbow came back as well - Cozy Powell, my beloved! - I just passed by the chance to buy "Brainwashed" by George Harrison and I was quite sad about that. I think I was listening to "Deep Purple in Rock" by that time, getting familiar with it when I started seeing someone on here. And you know, it never happens that I fall for someone only by seeing pics - I actually started listening to The Rolling Stones like that, seeing Charlie Watts and immediately getting interested - but like there has to be an exception once in a while and this one was none other than Keith Moon.

Let's go back to May or June real quick. Sometimes when mom is using pc I'm watching a music channel with dad and it happened that they played "My Generation" by The Who. Dad was complaining, he doesn't like them, but I was listening, came the end of the song, the drummer just going fucking nuts and I was like: "Fuck, he's good". I recalled that at that freaking day in August, finally having the chance to see him and I... I was blown away by one gifset. I actually didn't want to believe it was him. First time seeing Keith all elegant in a suit, that did things to me, but like then it calmed down, only to come back at September. And during this time I kept seeing "Who's Next" album in the record store, something telling me to buy it, but I didn't for some weird reason. The album disappeared at mentioned September, but like, this is exactly what fucking happened:

Keith Moon appeared on my dash again because it was 7th of September so like this is when I accidentally learned when he died

Then, when I was listening to music at night at the 10th of September spotify decided that it will randomly play me "Love Ain't for Keeping" and I, after hearing for years from parents that The Who isn't a good band, I was fucking blown away by this song. I had to check on spotify who plays it and I couldn't fucking believe it XD

Skip ahead to 13th of September and me saying "Alright, I will listen to this freaking album". I literally felt like "Who's Next" was haunting me - first at the record store and then when it was gone on spotify - so I gave in eventually. I recognized two songs from it immediately: "Baba O'Riley" and "Won't Get Fooled Again" recalling them from a tv series, freaking knowing there was one more they used, but that wasn't what was important at that day to me

I literally had to pause after it ended, I was fucking shaking and that like never happened to me after listening to the album. And sitting in that silence I heard a sudden voice in my head: "Finally back home"

A week later I've found the third song they used in the tv series "Who Are You" and that made me realize something. That my whole interest in music, my whole love towards drumming, my specific taste in it, that I love when drummers go crazy on them is because of Keith Moon

This crazy idiot was the first drummer I heard, who got me mesmerized by his playing. I remember to this day the moment I walked in the living room when mom was watching the tv series and the opening played. I was standing in the hall, mesmerized, so imagine my reaction when I finally made a whole loop back, after saying in the last year that I want to come back to my old self, finding it right there. Yes, i cried. Yes, I got attached to Keith Moon so much so that it's almost insane. And you know what? I'm fine with how things are right now. I feel like I stopped my search in music and I'm fine to settle in with Keith as my favorite drummer and for The Who to became the third band that I will come back to all the time, just like with Led Zeppelin and The Beatles. I'm feeling like at home with them, with him mostly, so I'm staying. I'm not moving my ass anywhere.

And just like that you thought it'll be over? HAHA, NO. Right after that came rolling The Police, Pink Floyd and The Moody Blues. Each band I enjoy a lot.

The Police for the drummer - Copeland, you're an amazing drummer!

Pink Floyd for the mood and lyrics - I'm more in the Waters and Gilmour era, but Syd Barrett is my baby <3 Also Rick Wright <3

The Moody Blues for everything - I might have only listened to one album, but "Nights in White Satin" is a MASTERPIECE!

And THAT, all of THAT concludes this year. With addition to dropping out of heavy metal, but I've mentioned that in the last post. All drummers who are responsible for that thing are named above!

[nazmazh]

So, yeah Palworld.

Despite the tone/direction of the hype, it's not really a replacement for Pokémon.

It is, however a replacement for ARK. And it's been quite good at that so far.

And considering the BS ARK pulled with their pricing and release plans and all that recently (not to mention their apparent utter aversion to optimizing the game even slightly - I'd really rather not have to dedicate nearly half of a hard drive to keeping it installed and updated, only for it to still struggle to run certain parts thank you very much), I know a lot of people that were looking for something to scratch that itch.

It might not be dinosaur-flavoured, but the mons are an appealing substitute on many levels. And the more direct automated use of them in more complex tasks is definitely a neat addition - And that's before even getting into the whole "parody of cute monster taming games" aspect - Which I don't think would have carried a game on its own for me, but is a solid enough flavour element here. Plus, expressly elemental creatures also creates more opportunities for use in the base system.

Also, as a quality of life thing - I really like that within a base, all storage is linked, so you can start building without having to go back and physically carry the materials to where you're using them. Hopefully though, a future update goes even further with this and has a system to link storage across all bases. So that you don't have to run, say, metal back and forth from the one base that produces it to others that have the more advanced production facilities.

Also - Battling/catching is a far less tedious system than KO'ing a critter and sitting there, keeping it unconscious and feeding it (especially feeding it only specific special optimum taming food) for hours to add a new critter to your team.

Something I hadn't thought of until just now - The Breath of the Wild-style movement/stamina system has felt very great! Movement feels speedy enough, the third-person perspective feels good for the sort of things you have to do, and being able to just start climbing is amazing! Something that's definitely lacking in both ARK and Pokemon (well, until you get the right upgrades in Sc/Vi, anyway). Is it the best implementation of such a system? Oh, definitely not, it still feels very unpolished compared to, say, BotW/TotK - But for this type of game, it's a very nice addition.

The actual battle system has very little in common with Pokémon - Not even something like Legends: Arceus. It's definitely much more of a free for all. It's honestly closer to Pikmin than Pokémon, but honestly still closest to stuff like ARK.

Anyway, yeah, it's been a solid zone-out and do tasks while watching YouTube/tv/whatever game, which has been a niche I've needed filled for a while. Much as I love Alan Wake 2 and my old standby Dead by Daylight - You do need to actively pay complete attention to those ones and can't have something else running alongside them.

The actual Pokémon has been sort of filling this role for a bit, but I've reached a point there where I'm just running around levelling my mons, which is fine, but familiar. Palworld is a new world to explore, with tasks that aren't quite as mindless. So it's a nice change of pace for the time being.

My sleep schedule however, is not a fan of the "Just one more thing..." Mentality I get from it (and a much of this whole genre).

------

One last note - The controversies.

Believe me, it absolutely raised my suspicions when I first heard about it overall - How could such a game not be a cheap cash-in? Probably just a bare bones, barely functional early-access asset flip game with a splash of edgy "pokemon (but just legally-distinct enough) but what if guns and expressly killing and eating them" for flavour/a gimmick, right?

But then it seemed like there was an actual game there. Systems had been thought out and appear functional - At least on a level that's on par with other decent early-access games. So, at least so far, it's not a cash-grab rip-off.

When was the other shoe going to drop?

Well, there's two drums people seem to beat loudly right now: "They're ripping off Pokemon and Nintendo's totally gonna shut them down!" And "The game totally uses AI for it's designs!", with a final offshoot of that to the effect of "This company's a scam!"

Well, to that first point - Nintendo is infamously litigious and very quickly moves to take down anything infringing on their copyrights. So, the fact that this game, being made by a "proper" development studio/company (ie: not just a couple of fans working on it as a hobby), which had publically discussed the making of the game over the past few years, made it to the point of early-access release without being taken down - That probably speaks to the "just-legally-distinct-enough" nature of their mon designs and capture systems, which are probably the two aspects most similar enough to raise eyebrows.

Now, certain visual elements do appear to be the same/incredibly similar - But I'm not sure that "facial features being used in conjunction with each other" is something they can copyright. As long as these devs/designers reverse-engineered their own versions of things, and didn't actually just rip Nintendo/Game Freak's models, I don't think there's much that actually is actionable there. The parody element is another angle that probably provides some broad cover as to the design similarity (in that you want people to clearly understand the reference you're making, so you want some similarities).

At any rate, I imagine the most profitable media franchise of all-time is probably gonna be just fine if someone makes allusions to them and their designs in an entirely different game. Pokemon doesn't really need anyone starting a crusade on its behalf, y'know?

To the stuff about the company (Pocketpair) itself. Well, there's a little more meat to those complaints there.

The big one - That AI was used in Palworld's design/development. That appears to be not true, or at the very least, not something that's been confirmed. If it were true, they'd have to disclose that for their Steam store page. So, at least, they did not openly use AI here (and its dev cycle began before the rise of the big AI boom, so it's less-likely that it was used). They'll probably face some sort of repercussions from Valve if they were deceptive about using AI, and there's not really a great reason to not be upfront about it, so, for now, I don't think they have used it here.

Believe me, if I suspected for a moment that AI was being used to cheat artists/designers out if work, I'd be out there, beating that drum too. But, given what evidence we have now, I just don't think they have for Palworld.

That being said...

Their CEO has definitely made some very sus statements about wanting to use AI going forward. Including comments about mon design in-general (nothing specific to Palworld, though, as far as I'm aware). And they have expressly used AI before, in their game AI: Art Imposter - So there is definitely a willingness on their part to use it (Though I'm not sure calling it 'Art Imposter' necessarily constitutes uncritical, effusive praise - But still, they used it in the game anyway). So that's definitely something to keep an eye on.

The whole situation with Pocketpair's other big game, Craftopia being an anime-styled, open world sandbox survival crafting game still in early-access definitely rubs some people the wrong way - Not the least of which are people who have been playing that game and feel as though they may have been playing an elaborate beta test that's going to be abandoned in favour of Palworld. And, like, I do get that - But, so far anyway, development appears to still be proceeding on Craftopia as well. So, I guess you can pick your preference from them - Whether you want the edgy Pokemon parody content in your game or you'd rather just have the "not-blocky Minecraft" type of stuff.

Ultimately, I don't think Pocketpair has any sort of loftier, noble ideals about being a better kind of gaming company or anything. They're certainly not a company that has earned any great leeway or trust from me - But they're definitely not just a cut-and-run scamming asset flipper gaming Steam's storefront.

I won't say Palworld is a "completely unproblematic fave forever" or anything like that, but from what I've been able to find, there's nothing in it/it's development history right now that makes it morally objectionable enough to avoid in my books. It's fine.

It's fine.

Other people might have different standards for what's unforgivable; but, the controversies about it definitely seem overblown or misrepresented - In my mind, at least. Its premise certainly could be alienating to a lot of people - But if you don't want to play it, you don't have to. If you don't like it, you can just say as much. You don't need to build it up into a whole big moral crusade to justify not really feeling like playing it. That's fine.

That's fine.

[simplyclary]

A Letter Filled With Love and Appreciation

As some of you might know, I express my thoughts, feelings and emotions through writing and words. In fact, my number one love language is words of affirmation. I just think that little notes, messages and letters filled with love and positivity goes a long way. This is my fan-art (in a way) and nothing but love flows every time I write something about the people and things that I appreciate and love.

This whole post is a letter that is dedicated to one of the best fandoms that I have ever joined this year. That is none other than the TZP Squad. This might be lengthy, might not be, but one thing's for sure, I'm gonna be a little bit sentimental considering what they've got me feeling these past few days.

I don't celebrate Thanksgiving, but I think that giving thanks and being grateful knows no time and date. Since it's Thanksgiving season anyway, this will be my Thanksgiving gift to the lovely angels of the fandom who has been nothing but pleasant, accepting, warm and just some of the kindest folks that I have ever encountered online. Other than Taylor himself and some of my other favorite people, these folks are what keep me sticking around in the crazy and ever-evolving realm of social media.

So, without further ado, here's my letter of love and thanks to my dearest fandom, the TZP Squad.

To my dearest TZP Squad,

I would like to start the letter by telling you guys that the found family trope is one of my favorite tropes in books. Just the feeling of finding people outside your own bloodline that loves and appreciates you is a special feeling.

To me, a fandom is like a virtual family, where the members bond and share a mutual love for a specific person or a group of people. Nothing compares to the happiness and pride I feel being a part of one. I have been a part of several fandoms throughout the years, some are still active and some no longer. With every fandom I enter, I always make a promise to stay there for as long as I can unless my heart calls to another or I'm no longer interested in the content or there's too much controversy and negativity that I had to leave and just be a casual supporter instead of a die-hard fan.

The TZP Squad is a special one. What started with me casually replying and liking some posts on Twitter/X and IG turned into something special and meaningful. You guys are just some of the most pleasant, sweetest, kindest and most respectful bunch of people that I have ever encountered on social media. To be able to interact with you and share the mutual love for Taylor Zakhar Perez with you guys have been amazing so far.

The amount of creativity and artistry in this fandom is just overflowing. The edits and the artworks are just amazing and is deserving of so much appreciation. I have a few of my favorite accounts that I interact with on a daily basis but all of you honestly deserves lots of love and appreciation.

Since I live in the Philippines which is in Southeast Asia where it's night when it's day for some, if not most, of you guys, being able to wake up to your TZP-related updates, photos, videos, interview insights and edits is just some of my favorite things to wake up to. Like to be honest, I can't start my day without seeing and interacting a least a couple of posts from you guys.

That's quite the story time, I'll actually now get to the "Thanks-giving part" before I get carried away.

My dearest members of the TZP Squad, first and foremost, thank you for accepting a newbie like me into the fandom. This fandom is new on its own but I know some of you have known Taylor since his "The Kissing Booth" days. Thank you for the warmest and most pleasant welcome into the fandom. Do continue to be your pleasant and accepting souls so our little squad can continue to grow and diversify.

Secondly, thank you for letting me share my thoughts and feelings about Taylor without judgment. I do keep it wholesome and pretty tame most of the time by simply letting the all capital letters and emojis speak for me, but if you can see me behind the screen, I usually go pretty feral. Along with one of my best friends, you guys are the only ones who can fully understand my love for Taylor. Like I can go on and on about him for hours, I'm not kidding.

Thirdly, I thank you guys for simply being my little corner of paradise on the internet. I don't know what it is, but the TZP squad community is my favorite little corner in the messy space of social media. You guys just make my social media experience pleasant. There's no toxicity and negativity, everyone's like helping each other out. Like it's a little space of positivity and inclusivity and I love that so much.

Lastly, I really just want to thank you guys for the happiness and joy you bring to me. I consider Taylor as my sunshine, but you guys are the solar energy. The happiness that I feel increases when I see updates and content of him from you guys. I'm not on my phone 24/7 so I really appreciate it whenever you guys provide like little updates here and there about Taylor. Also, thank you for making me scream and go wild with the insane amount of photos (I don't really care if they're the same ones!) I see on my feed every day! I love you guys so much for that.

Before I end the letter, I would like to give a couple of shoutouts to some folks...

Firstly, shoutout to the folks who run @/InfoTZP and @/tzpsquads. You angels. You have been my go-to pages for TZP updates since the beginning of my TZP fan era. I appreciate the work and effort that you put into providing accurate updates and y'all are just some of the sweetest souls ever! The fandom and Taylor is lucky to have you guys! Extra shoutout to @/InfoTZP for that poster that you made me for my birthday a few days ago. I still cannot get over the cuteness and the sweetness of that gift. That was also the first time that I have ever received a gift from a fandom so I was really touched by it. Thank you for making my birthday extra special.

Secondly, to the folks over here on Tumblr, thank you for letting me express my Taylor-related thoughts on here. Thank you for liking them, reposting them and simply reading them. They can be lengthy (especially those fashion-related ones) but I really appreciate you guys taking the time to read them.

(He's not gonna read this, but who knows, he might!). Lastly, of course, to the person who is the reason this fandom even exists, Taylor Zakhar Perez. Taylor, my comforting sunshine, thank you for being you and for being the reason why I have a lovely fandom to belong in. Thank you for being an inspiration to many people and thank you for being a positive force that we can look up to. I am forever thankful to have discovered you and I promise to forever love and support you.

This is one of my many Taylor-related posts, but this is more about the fandom than Taylor himself. The fandom is just as special as Taylor and I'm excited to spend the future loving and supporting him with you guys. The TZP squad is one of the best fandoms with the sweetest people and I'm just having a pleasant ride with you guys. I'm here for the long run and I promise to stand by you Taylor and you guys until time tells me that it is already time to stop.

Happy Thanksgiving , everyone! Eat some turkey, eat some stuffing and cornbread. Celebrate and always be grateful for everything that you have!

All my love! 🧡

Clarissa

[nightswatchdisbandmentera]

Me seeing the ask game: *cracks knuckles* Let's go.

I hope you don't mind answering all of these 😅.

1.

6.

8.

9.

10.

12.

13.

16.

20.

21.

22.

24.

25.

Have a nice day!

I won’t answer all of them haha. I had no time to write that much plus I wanted to actually give hOt TaKeS.

8 common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

I’ll start of by saying that I’m not one who wants to police other people’s interpretations of the text. BUT I will say this: Jon is not a below average swordsman! He’s not even average. He may not have many on page feats, but he’s only been in less than a handful of serious fights and they were against middle aged men with decades of experience over him. People like to bring up his loss to Mance, but this fight was against a man who managed to unite the wildling tribes under his rule; Mance is a highly skilled warrior.

Remember, Jon is 15-16 years old when most of these fights are happening. So he’s still young and growing. People will also say “oh, but Jaime Lannister was a god at that age”. Honestly, who cares? How many characters are comparable to Jaime at any age? It’s such a dumb comparison. I’ve even seen people argue that a 13 year old Peck is better than Jon and huh? Jon hasn’t won over any knights….because he’s not encountering them in the first place.

It’s clear that GRRM holds Jon’s skill in high regard. I mean the first Jon POV chapter established him as a noted swordsman. It also clear that Jon isn’t meant to be the warrior type. He’s a deconstruction of the archetypal fantasy protagonist. GRRM has chosen to build his political skills, so he’s not putting much of a focus on how well he swings his sword. That doesn’t mean though that he doesn’t have any skill at all. Just that it’s not the main focus of his character. But I think this fandom generally has the most wretched discourse when it comes to this stuff. Like people on Reddit this past week tried to argue that Brienne is overrated…Brienne, of all people. It’s just insane to me that people think they know more than the guy who wrote the damn books.

13 worst blorboficiation

Has got to be Kevan Lannister. Not so much on tumblr, but it’s a disease in some of the other communities. For whatever reason, he’s quite beloved. And this is rather strange because he is very much complicit in the corrupt Lannister regime. And as far as we know, he’s also fully supported Tywin in everything (which includes legitimate war crimes). He has his moments where he is shown to actually care for family members (e.g., Lancel, Tyrion), and that makes him a delightfully complex character. He’s also really funny. But we shouldn’t ignore his really bad traits. I’ve had to suffer a bunch of “Kevan Lannister is the best guy ever” posts on Reddit, and it’s absolutely maddening. That’s not to say that we can’t like “bad” people! Heck, Cersei is one of my faves. But it’s weird how certain characters get a pass for doing problematic things (e.g., Kevan or even Bobby B), and other characters get lambasted for the most tame things imaginable. It’s just the hypocrisy that’s annoying.

16 you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

Powerscaling lol. It can be fun, but the people who engage in these discussions can be so tedious and boring. Tiktok and Reddit are full of this. “Who is the greatest fighter”, “who is the best warrior”, “this is why prime Robert low diffs Barristan Selmy”, and it’s the same old arguments every time. I think we should get more creative with powerscaling if we have to do it. Like “who has the best 🛌 skills”. Let’s at least argue over something fun, damn.

22 your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

This is going to be twofold:

- On tumblr? Easily Jon’s relationship with magic. In fact, people on here will go out of their way to argue that it’s actually not important to the plot, which is absolutely bonkers. Beyond warging, there’s a lot of weird magical stuff going on with Jon that should be put under the microscope. And I’d even argue that Jon’s a pretty special warg and cannot be compared to the other Stark kids (even Bran) because of how his powers manifest. Ghost is also obviously one of the most special animal familiars in the series (maybe even THE most special one), but no one ever talks about how special he is. A lot of people seem to believe that Jon will be KiTN, but it’s insane how we don’t talk about why it’s magically important for him to rule the North, considering his deep connections to Northern mysticism, religion, and lore.

- Elsewhere: the parallels between Jon and Bran. They’re essentially the same character base split into two (Seoman Snowlack, Frodo, King Arthur, Paul and Leto Atreides, Odin, etc). Both arcs parallel each other and are heading to the same destination, but the details will be different. This is getting to my last point, but I firmly believe we’re getting an ending with both King Jon and King Bran. I like to think of them as two competing but complementary sides of King Arthur’s tale. Jon is the one that is true to legend, as he follows the archetypal hidden prince-to-king trope. Jon is essentially “what if Arthur actually went on his hero’s/knightly quest?”Bran is the subverted one, where young Arthur gets a little detour; so “what if Arthur didn’t go on the hero’s/knightly quest but instead had to take up a job as a part time wizard?” Both will end up kings, just as Arthur did, but it will be different versions of the legend.

- Also: WTF is up with the Watch/Wall? What magic was used to build the Wall and who built it? Why can’t dragons cross? And why can’t wights cross either? What magic dictates that? What’s up with the Nightfort? Why does one only need to say part of the vows to open the gate? And what’s up with the NW vows? Why do they give Lightbringer vibes?! Is the NW Lightbringer? The NW is directly credited with the ending of the Long Night so was the last hero a member of the original group? Who was he? What happened to him after? If the last hero inspired AA then did the NW (and their vows) inspire tales of his flaming sword? And why did the relationship between the Watch and the CoF fizzle out? When did it fizzle out? And who are the LCs whose tenures have not been recorded? Why did they only start recording in the 600s (iirc)? What other history has been lost over time? Who was the Night King? Where did his half-human children go? Need that old man to answer these stat

25 common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

Several people will block me for this…but King Bran. Look, I get that Bran isn’t the most popular character out there. But so many people convinced themselves that he would die in that cave or he would amount to nothing which is very, very strange. And it also doesn’t help that a lot of the complaints reek of ableism.

GRRM obviously considers Bran to be central to this series. He is the first viewpoint character (and potentially the last one). He is the most magical character in the story. The scene that birthed ASOIAF came about because of Bran. It’s also said that GRRM considered writing the books through Bran’s POV but decided against it pretty quickly.

Anyone who paid attention to Bran’s story would know that we’re going to get some huge payoff to his story. In fact, I think it’s safer to assume that kingship has always been in the cards for him. I think most of us Bran stans thought he’d be KiTN (actually some of us over at Westeros.org thought he’d end up as the final Lord of Harrenhal). I never once considered King of all Westeros but I’ve had time to think about it ever since the show ended and I’m like, “duh!”. It’s thematically relevant and sound for Bran to end up king. We’re about to enter into a winter apocalypse but Bran’s direwolf is called Summer. Not only is he the representation of summer (which means renewal, rejuvenation, etc.), but he’s also fashioned after the Fisher King. He is also the second coming of Brandon the Builder - who constructed castles all over Westeros, not just the North; and if legends are true, this happened after the Long Night. He’s following after the footsteps of the Last Hero, and is the only other character apart from Jon who is actually fighting in the front lines against the Others. He’s going to be super important!

I can understand some of the questions people having regarding King Bran, mainly those of a political nature. But we’re left with two books. And two books is plenty to move the necessary pieces for Bran’s crowning. Hell, did people expect that Dany would be Queen of Meereen as they started reading ASOS? Most didn’t. A lot can happen in two books. A lot can happen in a singular book. GRRM has enough time to set up a scenario on which Bran is the only one left to rule.

I personally think that the apocalypse will essentially destroy Westeros as we know it, leading to the creation of a new kingdom(s). D&D botched the GoT ending so people have a hard time seeing the thematic weight of a boy who represents summer rising to kingship, but the books lay enough groundwork imo. And I think ACOK shows us that Bran, despite his age, would make a wise ruler. So I’m all for King Bran. Not only is it thematically sound, but I love the idea of a disabled kid rising to power at the end since we don’t see that in a lot of fantasy.

[centers-for-disease-control]

I have tasted many a metal in my day and i can tell you the ones i like the most and least

Gold is rather inert so it doesn't really taste like much as with platinum and silver since they're rather inert at human temperature, but it could be worse. Gold at least feels like metal on the tongue, not including thermal conductivity. Platinum on the other hand feels like plastic with far less flavor, but palladium is a decent bit better on feel at least even if these are just rather flavorless to begin with

Copper is the taste everyone compares metal to but that's not the only case. You can taste ot change the more it reacts but that's not entirely a bad thing. If anything the metal people are most familiar with is iron. It's in conventional silverware and most kinds of blood

Nickel is a nasty little thing but not the worst there us. Besides the potential for allergic reactions (contact dermatitis) it's tame enough

Aluminum. I hate it. It doesn't give the satisfying metal taste and it gives a slight burning smell/taste which isn't very enjoyable

Tin is a fair bit better, its unsealed use in peaches at some point was preferable over a plastic inner seal (don't quote me on that it could've still been steel cans at that point) and electronic solder contains a good amount of tin (and lead but shhh i think it doesn't affect the taste too much). It tastes metallic (affectionate) but without the odd aftertastes of the previous ones so ultimately i think this gets the current award for best tasting metal but my quest isn't done. Forbidden fruit this and that i know

Neodymium i forgot i had an exposed magnet to lick, but honestly i think it's a cintered mixture of neodymium and iron and doesn't really taste too much different from iron itself

Here's a link to nilered exploring metal smell since smell and taste are rather connected and go through similar reactions

You know what, I don’t condone eating metals randomly like that, but damn if that isn’t interesting.