#which if anything just makes it easier to enjoy and consume other people's work

[fstbmp-a]

The funniest part is that I don't really like my own writing--

but yeah Moon's writing fucks severely post now

[onyourhyuck]

Bad Habits. | H.RJ

— Prologue: “You have no idea, how long I’ve been wanting to do this.”

— Summary: Your boyfriend Renjun offered to blow dry your wet hair, what could go wrong?

— Genre: Smut. Smut. Smut. Boyfriend!Renjun. Kind of cute. Renjun has an obsession to kiss y/n’s neck. Blowdrying hair. Protected sex. Renjun’s love for y/n’s chest. Teasing. Soft mild choking. Fingering receiving (f) Consensual. many many climaxes. Nickname used ‘Baby’ a lot.

— Notes: I might be in my renjun smut era rn.

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You let the hot water run down your back all the way from your short thick hair. You enjoy the warmth and the steam building in the bathroom. It’s always nice to come home and have a relaxing evening showering especially after such a stressful day at work. Your boyfriend, Renjun, prepared the shower for you actually. He let it ran so you can have the hot water running. He even got the towel and clothes ready and then he left to let you have your own privacy and time to shower properly. Renjun loves to do a lot of things for you even though you don’t ask him to do anything he just ends up doing it for you anyways.

You tend to appreciate these small gestures the most whenever you’re feeling drained and tired. You don’t really like to show or express that you’re having a hard time. So when your boyfriend can sense your feelings through your moods you find it easier to show you’re struggling.

Your job can be very time consuming which then puts a slight strain on your relationship with Renjun. He wants to do many things with you but your job tends to prevent that. You’re a very dedicated worker to your job.

You may love your job but sometimes it can be hard to keep up with it. Even if it is just paperwork. It’s still a lot to do even if people assume at first thay papers aren’t that much of a hard thing to do. It’s more or less time consuming.

Either way you’re home now and you don’t want to think about work anymore so you finish your shower and head out with the towel wrapped around you. You would change in the bedroom. You take your time applying body lotion and then your own skin care routine on your face. You need to moisturise your skin with the products you bought. Once the pyjamas embrace your beautiful curvy figure you sat down on the bed looking in the mirror. You feel refreshed from the shower. Renjun really was right it did help you feel better. As if the weight was lifted off your chest.

The bedroom door opens with Renjun peeking in a little and when he saw you and your damp hair he tilts his head a little. “You still haven’t blow dry your hair Y/n. You’ll get sick if you leave it like this.” You heard him say with a small nagging voice but you didn’t mind it.

You knew he cared for your well-being slightly more than you do for yourself. You gently roll your eyes. “I’ll get on it now then.” You stand up to get the box out with the hairdryer however a hand stops you from moving any further from the bed.

Renjun shakes his head. “I’ll do it for you.” He then said getting the box out putting it next to you on your bed and you look up with a little smile. He really doesn’t want you to work too much at home knowing you’re tired. “Can i blow dry your hair for you?”

Now he was asking you with something glistening behind his eyes and you’re not sure what that was. It almost resembles a fallen star in his eyes that you saw glisten away. Your expression of surprise makes Renjun feel like his words took you to another level of comfort and happiness when he asked if he could blow dry your hair for you. It’s like you didn’t expect him to go the extra mile for you. Renjun would do anything if it can mean you didn’t have to do anything. Heck. He would do everything and you can just be taken care of like the princess you are. Renjun wouldn’t want it any other way for you.

You take a while to figure out what to say but you reckon you can just give him a nod and he would take it as a yes. “Sure you can.” You say with a small shy smile. You never really had anyone drying your hair for you so this might be an experience you think. Renjun saw your permission and his face lit up.

It’s like he’s been waiting to do this for you before. Renjun plugs everything in. The blow dry device powers up and Renjun softly runs his hands through your wet short damp hair. He enjoys to run his hand through it because of how silky and thick it feels when it’s dry. But when it’s wet it’s a clump that he still find’s beautiful. Every inch of you feels responsible for the way his love grows for you even more. Renjun was only bewitched when the cold wet hair slides down the fingers as he starts to now turn on the hairdryer. The hot air blows your hair in different directions, his hands slid up to your roots and down the edges of your strands.

Your eyes close in the pleasant breeze that feels like a valley passing in your mind. The sensation of someone else stirring the arms rotating around the hot air to your damp hair as their fingers slip like growing spring around your scalp makes you feel some type of way; relaxation? Maybe. Perhaps it was the fact that you feel like you are being treated with care. The way your boyfriend’s wrist was so gently when it moved and pushed your hair aside to get every part of your hair to dry up and not be wet from your shower.

It felt too good. You never thought a simple thing like this could make you feel even more at home than you already were feeling like.

Renjun might be your home. Maybe he makes home feel like home to you now.

Your boyfriend smiles when he saw your smiling expression as your eyes were closed shut enjoying how his hands feel around your scalp trying to massage every area so they can dry up. He doesn’t want you to go to bed with damp hair at all. It’s not the most comfortable thing either. Nor is it healthy. Renjun’s smile mimics yours and he cannot help but watch and observe you. He takes every chance to admire you no matter what even when you’re not looking at him, that’s when Renjun takes his opportunity the most.

The eyes fell down like a marble stone falling on the ground between two drainages pipes when he saw the sight of your beautiful glowing neck. In his eyes he feels like this was his favourite part of you. Your neck. Renjun might have a slight admiration for it to the point it might be like he has a massive crush on it. Not because of how beautiful it looks. It’s because he knows how much it gets you going with a rollercoaster of emotions.

The most simplest of touches he could do to your neck would feel like he had you pinned against a brick wall. That’s how much you react whenever your neck comes into contact with something.

Renjun love it though. He can smell your hair and your body lotion you applied from your neckline. He was very close and it makes his heartbeat a little knowing you’re relaxing right now and he’s here trying to not get any urges and thoughts right there and then.

You look too irresistible to not be kissed though. Renjun eventually said screw it in his head and when your hair was a little more dry now, his lips found a way around the back of your nape and placing a small kiss on it. The small kiss was very soft and noticeable. It feels like lavender sprouting from the roots.

Then the kiss on the nape turns into more kisses on the sides of your neckline and then eventually spreading even more across your neck to the front which had your heart skipping a beat from the first pointer kiss he did.

Your voice came out a little better though slight hitch to the tone which your boyfriend took heard notice of. “Renjun…?”

It was a mixture of confusion and surprise. Renjun kissed now a little more deeply but still keeping the relaxed vibe you guys are in. The whole bedroom had a very chill atmosphere and he wasn’t doing anything too much to scare you off. He knows you’re tired. Renjun can feel it on your body muscles. They’re finally relaxed and no longer tense, he wouldn’t want to do anything else than to have you feel loved in the moment.

All Renjun was thinking about was how pretty you sound when he continued to kiss you. He travels up kissing your jawline as he’s still sitting behind you with the warm hairdryer on his lap attached to the nearby plug on the wall next to your bed that you both are on.

He whispers to your ear as he gently and lovingly placed a kiss on it too. “You have no idea, how long I’ve been wanting to do this.”

Your boyfriend drag alongside your neck his lips whispering series of sweet nothings. The sequences had you rolling your tongue at the top of your mouth roof when he pressed another sweet and peppering kiss on your smooth skin. “To kiss and to be close to you like this… I’ve missed you.”

Your body betrays you quickly knowing it was your boyfriend making you feel this way, so out of breath as if you ran for miles upon miles. It was one of those things that your body could never get used to. Renjun’s kisses, words, the way he spoke to you with the tone of his voice. It’s too much you found yourself loving it all too well.

You found yourself giving in too quickly than you’d like to imagine. It wasn’t long till Renjun’s lips kissed the corner of your lips which then made you fully engulf yourself in kissing him back now. You closed your eyes and breathed in as he lets out a sigh practically groaning now that you kissed him. It felt so foreign to him nowadays. It’s been too long than he’d like to admit since he kissed you like this. You pull yourself around and Renjun’s hands slither round your waist dragging you across the bed as you let him pull you down on your back, the kiss never once breaking away.

It’s been too long because you swore you neglected him to the point he didn’t give you a single break from the kiss. It was too long that it had your face feeling like you might melt like magma. Or until the point you’re seeing stars written on the ceiling. Renjun nibbles quietly on your bottom lip while finally he pulls to give you a fresh new look on his face as he saw your eyes closing to regain back your view. You were too close to nearly passing out from the lack of oxygen he stole from you.

But he pulls at the right minute to keep you asking for more. To keep you guessing for more. Renjun lowers himself down just above your chest as he kissed your cheek now beginning to ask you. “Baby do you think i have to stretch you out? It’s been too long since we did it.” He lets his eyes practically eat you alive when he’s watching your body like this. You let out a soft groan, his hands run down your spine and under your shirt ready to strip it away from your wonderful figure.

Renjun’s bad habit is definitely not being able to be patient enough for you. When he wants something he needs it immediately. You’re one of those things that Renjun cannot be patient for enough because he wants to experience it with you. And let you experience him as much as possible too. This might be the result of his feelings for you however, they’re far too intense you can barely stand in front of him.

You groan in reply. “Maybe stretch me out with your fingers.” Your hands slip off your lower pyjamas and Renjun took the host pleasure to position his finger around your straps to the panties and slid them down to your ankles. He smiles looking down at your pussy region as he strums his thumb on your clit before pushing in the index finger now. He saw you bite your bottom lip already and Renjun can feel how tight you are. He definitely needed to stretch you out. It felt too much already that you feel like consuming all of Renjun’s pleasure. Renjun didn’t stop until he at least give you one orgasm by his fingers. He never continues and puts you above himself too.

Even though he is very impatient he’s never impatient when it comes to putting you first above his own pleasure and needs.

You felt your eyes clench around the ceiling above as you’re feeling the pleasure reach to your own bones. It pulses you to leak and now your own high washed over you. Renjun was satisfied to hear you moaning his name and practically plead him to already take you. He whispers reaching with his face to kiss your own mouth again. “You did so well for me, baby.”

You’re so weak to him and his praise.

Your boyfriend slips himself inside your folds and your heat once he put on the condom wrapping around his shaft that pumps inside and outside of your velvety bars has him feeling like he was on cloud nine. Your expression was scrunching up as you reach enlightenment with your boyfriend thrusting inside and outside of you in such graceful ways. Renjun’s pelvis reaches your inner thighs as he grabs around your waist wrapping his arms on your back as he pulls you closer to the lavishing light he caused your body to feel. This feeling couldn’t be described in words just like how Renjun cannot describe such a perfect girl like you beneath him getting her hole fixed with his cock deep inside you looking so incredibly beautiful.

How can anyone compare to you? No one can.

Renjun vows you’re going to get him hooked more and more. Your folds squeezing and squelch which has his eyes roll and your boyfriend slips out a groan between your perky breasts as he licks round his tongue teasingly around the very top. “Do you feel good baby? Is this what you needed after a long day of work?” He spoke so kindly though his body wasn’t matching it. Your body was squished between his ruthless thrusts.

You neglected him for too long because you can feel this was almost like his way of releasing all the pent up frustrations.

You bury your head further into your pillow as your spine arches like a bridge. Renjun loves when you do this between his fast and jabbing thrusts. It feels like you were feeling everything tan times more intensely. Your lips fell apart like ice. “S-So good… oh please don’t stop.” You now plead.

You’re not sure why you’re pleading because your boyfriend wasn’t planning to stop anyways.

You must’ve been seeing stars when your many orgasms has been approaching. Perhaps you already came too many times you didn’t even realise it. It was so good that Renjun must’ve had your hole screaming at him to slow down but he couldn’t as he was taking everything in too fast with his brain.

Your hands clench in a balling fist and your toes curl when Renjun whispers to your ears. “You know this is your fault I’m acting like this.” Your eyes widen when he told you it’s your reasoning for all of this happening and you wanted to speak, but the many moans you swallowed came out.

He trails down the kisses from the forehead and down your temples. “You wanna know why? Because you’re my Bad Habit.”

Your neck was looking too good from the angle he was in pushing inside of you deeply where he knew you had limitless space. His hands sweep their way in holding and caressing your neck as he continues to thrust within your pussy that you find yourself getting addicted to how his cock was making you feel; utterly weak and high.

You are the very bad habit he has. Renjun cannot do anything without you anymore and it’s all because of you making it hard not to fall in love with you even more.

He blames you for this, he cannot get enough now. It was like a trap all along and Renjun was your fallen victim. You clench around his shaft as he said this. He reminds you how deep his love is for you and your eyes dilate when you feel his member twitch deeply within your folds.

Through the condom fabric you sense a filling packet now and you just knew he had a sudden climax when Renjun hung his head between your shoulders. He took a moment to final thrust within you and his voice was breaking like a broken tape on record player.

He grunts and you feel his hands tighten around the embrace has you inside as if you were his precious jewel.

“Fuck fuck fuck…” You heard your boyfriend say quietly as the voice was trembling by how good you consumed him all.

You feel Renjun letting out a deeply mournful sigh full of enchanting pleasure when he pulls out off you with the condom. You watch him wrap it up and he looks back at you finding your gaze to be watery and dilated pupils, it makes you look like a princess in his eyes though.

He could tell he did a good job pleasuring you and it makes him proud. And your beauty never leaves no matter what state you’re in.

You whisper. “I’m your bad habit?” You let out a little giggle though because you find yourself liking that you’re his bad habit in a way.

Renjun grins leaning down. “Mhm that you are.” You watch him hover above your figure now as you guys were resting now with your steady heartbeats returning to their normal pace. He looks down at your kissable lips and so he lowers down only a little to give it a peck. You hear him speak as he did this. “You’re all my Bad Habits.”

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@onyourhyuck please refer from translating copyrighting and plagiarising my work thank youu! Reblog this Fic and Follow me for more it helps a girl out. <3

[luckydoeslanguage]

🎏Immersion, its quirks, and tips for language learning this way!

its the 5th of May, so happy children's day! 🎏 I got a question in one of my posts asking for some advice on immersion learning! i thought it would be a good opportunity to talk about immersion in general, my current study(?) routine and perhaps give some useful advice! As the name suggests, Immersion language learning is done primarily by consuming media in your target language. Immersion can seem super intimidating to us learners, mostly cause we can't understand most of the stuff available to us. But! its not impossible to start out using immersion right out of the gate. i think people tend to get scared or go "I'll immerse when i get better at my TL!" But the truth of the matter is, your not going to get used to, or better at your target language unless you consume actual content. (in my opinion.)

Honestly, a lot of immersion learning is being able to tolerate that i probably wont understand everything right away. I will someday, but for now i have to be comfortable with not understanding a lot. which is okay! So, what is my current study routine?

right now, my routine consists of:

doing vocabulary cards on Anki from a premade anki deck.

playing about an hour of Animal crossing everyday

watching 1 - 3 episodes of an anime

watching Youtube videos

weekly (ish) grammar done by reading Imabi, and watching Cure Dolly videos on Youtube.

The bread and butter of my routine is learning vocab, and occasional grammar studies. I'm using the core2k/6k deck. which as the name implies, is an optimized vocab deck that contains the most common 6k JP vocabulary. i currently take 5 new vocab cards a day, and try to get my reviews in everyday. my anki deck has contributed a lot to me being able to immerse so early in my language journey. learning and then reviewing new words everyday lets me recognize words in my immersion. As time has gone on, i can recognize more and more words, and even some words I haven't encountered yet in my deck. Immersion, while still uncomfortable, (especially with complex media) is the other side of the coin. i try to spend double the time i spend on anki, immersing. Mostly because i enjoy what I'm immersing in, but also because i get more out of it the more time i spend immersing.

"that's all well and good Lucky, but what advice would you give to someone who wants to learn this way?"

Well! first of all, and this is very important:

Be comfortable with ambiguity. you may not be able to understand some, or maybe most of the thing you are immersing in. that's okay! Your brain is already looking for patterns to see in your TL, and is growing more accustomed to it. I got a lot of headaches in the beginning, i still do actually. but i know that's my brain working hard! (take a break if you get a headache!!)

Second, and probably just as important:

Follow your interests. make immersion fun! whats the point of immersing if its torturous?! I'm a lot more likely to continue immersing in something if i actually enjoy it. there are a lot of easier anime to immerse in, but if I'm not having fun, I'm not going to learn anything. you should do the same! even if its too difficult to understand. I'm currently watching someone on YouTube play a dating sim, and even though its waaaay above my skill level, I'm really enjoying myself watching it! I've even recognized some words i know. whole sentences, even.

Third:

Be Consistent! This is probably advice you've already heard, but it bears repeating! even if you do something small like listening to a song in your TL, that's immersion babyy :) consistency is key, above all.

Lastly: Track your Immersion. a problem with immersion is it can feel like you are going nowhere. tracking how much time you spend doing an activity, (watching videos, reading, etc) is a great way to make immersion more tangible. lots of people reccomend toggl, but i personally use polylogger. its built with language learners in mind, and is stupidly easy to use. i also keep personal logs in an online diary, as well as here on my blog to measure my progress. it helps!

alright, i think thats everything i have to say for now! if you've made it to the end of this long post, hello! and thank you <3 hope you've had a good day so far! I will leave you with some links to more reading on the subject under the cut, they go into more detail than i have here.

take care for now! またね！

this article by Refold about tolerating ambiguity:

The Moe ways guide to immersion:

Making the leap to Immersion, Video by Cure Dolly:

[beneathashadytree]

Hi guys!! Kind of a long post here, but it’s actually pretty important, so give it a read if you’re a writer and you’ve got the time!

Please be careful when tagging your fics/posts. I know many people are new to Tumblr/fandom around here, but Tumblr’s tagging system is not the same as Instagram or AO3. You can’t filter posts to show only certain things while simultaneously avoiding other tags. So using the tags that are only relevant keeps things all tidy on this website, and makes it easier to navigate.

Also, cross-tagging clutters the tags. Sometimes I’m only feeling like reading a Zayne fic, but his tag is full of Sylus fics because people incorrectly tag their works. I know we all want more people to read our works, so cross-tagging is a sure-fire way to get more people to see it, but trust me it’s only harmful to the community/fandom because it causes readers to be unable to find the stuff they’re actually looking for amidst all the clutter☹️

Another thing: please, for the love of everything good, tag your smut fics as smut fics only and not fluff. I myself am on the ace spectrum, and my relationship with sex (even when written!) fluctuates daily. Sometimes I’m completely sex-averse and reading anything remotely sexual icks me out, and sometimes I’m perfectly okay with writing and consuming sexual content. That means that I can’t just block out the smut tag since I do occasionally seek it out, so instead I’d normally avoid searching it up until I want to read it. But now, I end up searching the fluff tags and find straight up porn lying there, which I’m definitely not in the mood for. It’s jarring, to say the least.

And for the people who do want to read smut specifically, tagging your fics as smut only makes it much easier for them to find your work!! This way, you’ll curate your audience and make their reading experience go more smoothly. You avoid attracting people who don’t want to read smut, and you bring in the people who want more of it!! It’s a win-win situation🙏🏽

One last thing: please clarify if the seemingly-innocent thing you’re writing about is a kink. Whether it’s in the warnings prefacing your fic, or in the tags, I’d much rather not be jumpscared mid-reading by things turning sexual when they weren’t remotely so at the start. I’ll be reading a cute little fic about tickling or something, then I’ll find out that this writer has a tickling kink😭 Enjoy whatever you like bestie, just make sure to correctly tag that/add warnings so that others don’t unknowingly consume content that they’re actually not into.

[mochayoubi]

most japanese learning advice i've taken from my partner, which includes:

begin consuming native material as soon as possible and then merge it into your daily life as much as possible

find a method to review new words (such as anki) so you recognize them when you see them while consuming native material

look up things you don't understand

there is just no getting around some things. to get better at reading, you have to read. to get better at listening, you have to watch/listen to actual native material.

keep consistent <- if anything, this is the most important

when he says merge japanese into your daily life, he means try thinking in japanese, talk to yourself in japanese if you have nobody to talk to, switch your devices to japanese. this may sound intense, and for me it took a while to acclimate to it, but if you can manage it it does make a big difference.

because im more sensitive/hesitant about new things and had a lot more hurdles when approaching japanese, i'll add in what helped me:

like any skill, willingness to be consistent in learning something takes an attitude shift. for me it meant accepting that i had to be bad to get better - for you it could be different, but in general know that you will find yourself out in the weeds and that's ok

use native materials you actually enjoy, not just ones people recommend as "good for your level" (they may be good for your level, but if it's a slog to get through youll just make it harder for yourself)

go as slow as you need to, or get through it as best as you can. a dialogue you cant follow but still try to actively listen to is better than not trying at all. a book you need to stop to look up words every sentence is better than not reading at all

find something outside of pure language acquisition to motivate you. when it gets hard and you feel yourself stuck youll need that other motivator to get you through it. for me it was enjoying playing video games or watching shows and i could rely on my enjoyment of those things even if i didnt feel like actively studying the japanese words in them

in that same vein, find an overall goal to work towards. for me, i want to live in japan while knowing the language comfortably, so i think of how much closer to that i get to every time i learn something new in japanese

if you can, find someone to study with. having another person there doing the same thing as you can be massively helpful just to keep up motivation and keep each other accountable

make it easier for yourself, but make sure youre still consistent. read an easier book (but do read). reduce the amount of reviews you have an anki if you must (but do anki or -insert vocab learning method here-).

hope that helps! when it comes to specific areas to improve on i think that warrants a different conversation (like what to do for speaking or vocab practice) but overall these are what guide my studying.

[nohoperadio]

Some of my coworkers (I work in a bookshop, I'm getting kinda tired of having to add that parenthetical to every work story I tell on here but it's often essential context, I wish there was a better way. Why can't you just fucking pay attention and remember where I work, that would be nice?) are very smug and proud of themselves about the fact that they make a habit of ratting out teenagers to their parents when they're trying to buy books (to be fair I could probably have just let the context do its own work in this particular post, I didn't really need to say anything. I'm sorry I spoke to you like that earlier) which are, according to the bookseller's no doubt eminently wise and edifying judgment, not age-appropriate--not outright refusing sales, but like when a teen and their parent are both at the till, saying something like "oh just so you're aware this book has some controversial stuff in it"--and I hope I continue to successfully hide how much this pisses me off because oh my fucking god.

Mostly this happens with Colleen Hoover books, who if you're unaware is a very tiktok-popular romance author whose books are sometimes accused of glorifying abusive relationship dynamics, I haven't read her and don't have a good sense of to what extent this is a fair accusation vs people misrepresenting the books to score backlash discourse points, neither possibility would surprise me, but also I don't think the answer to that question is very relevant to anything.

And look, I accept that my free speech absolutist radical position of "teenagers are less stupid than you probably think but even the stupid ones probably should be allowed some intellectual liberties maybe, they're going to be adults in like five minutes jesus christ" is not something everyone can embrace, I do. But the sheer glee with which this one guy the other day was telling the story of a mom getting quite angry with her daughter when he told her about what she's trying to buy, like "haha someone's gonna have an awkward conversation when they leave the shop!", is so so ugly to me... like it would be much easier to believe this was a principled moral stance if you weren't actively making fun of the people you're claiming to protect! And holy shit do you not remember this exact experience, of being a teenager and a bunch of adults who are clearly not actually smarter or better than you nonetheless having strong opinions about what kinds of things you ought to be enjoying and spending time on and thinking about? Do you not remember how much that sucked? (I'm like a decade older than most of these booksellers, I should be the cranky old person whose heart has been consumed by cheap cynical moralism, not them!!)

I could add a little bit here about how obviously it's only the books that are girl-coded that receive this higher level of scrutiny and shaming, but sadly it's getting dark and I had intended to make this a short post so I could go for a run after and I should really do that now if I'm gonna do it at all, you'll have to think about that part in your own time. Sorry for ranting everyone I hope we're all having a chill Saturday apart from me. Are we having a chill Saturday?

[vessels-two-front-teeth]

Sleep Token Lore theory

From the pov of someone deeply interested in psychology and a survivor of narcissistic abuse.

Warnings: mentions of narcissistic abuse, brief mentions of suicidal ideation, alcohol use.

Disclaimer: my idea of what all of it means is less in the esoteric direction and based more on my opinions of some of Vessel’s personal experiences. I’m basing all of this on lyrical content, the evolution of his masks, how he behaves on stage, and my own personal experience. I will not mention any of his previous work or related individuals. I will keep this as neutral as possible out of respect for all of their privacy.

1. The deity of Sleep: I believe that Sleep is less of an actual deity (I know it’s mostly a marketing gimmick), and more of a metaphor for someone that Vessel used to be in a relationship with. This person was very toxic and likely abusive in some manner. They also definitely had a god complex. In my opinion they most likely displayed a lot of narcissistic tendencies, such as love bombing, denying responsibility, manipulating, lies, mind games, and other such things. Emotional and psychological abuse are very likely. People who display narcissistic traits tend to worm their way into the minds of their targets. They prey on their insecurities, weaponizing them. Hence “my insecurities surround me like lions in a den.” This person met Vessel, noticed the things he was probably already insecure about and deliberately poked at those wounds, making them worse. This person also probably made efforts to isolate Vessel from the rest of his family and friends, making him dependent on them and them alone. If you have no one else to turn to, you are much less likely to try to escape.

2. Vessel’s part in the toxicity: in multiple lyrics from different songs Vessel expresses deep all consuming guilt over the way that he acted in this relationship. Being in a relationship with a narcissist will change you into a different person, but who you become depends on who you are to start with. Some people become more argumentative and fight back, which the narcissist enjoys. They like it when you react emotionally, they take it as a chance to say “look at the way you’re acting, you’re being the bad guy. Now I can go and make my smear campaign to make me look like the victim.” Other people shut down emotionally, becoming even easier to manipulate and control. In Vessel’s case, I think he mostly became the argumentative version, though inside he was likely pretty emotionally numb. This is shown in DYWTYLM when he says “maybe it’s not that you conceal your feelings, they just don’t exist.” The narcissist has succeeded in alienating him from himself so much that he can’t recognize his own emotional state or needs.

3. Vessel’s emotional state: with the narcissistic behaviour that I mentioned earlier, it’s very likely that Vessel was the recipient of a lot of mind games and love bombing. Love bombing, to put it in the simplest terms, is when a narcissist pours on the charm in opportunistic times to get you to believe that they are the nicest person ever. They follow this up with extremely shitty behaviour, and then more charm. This way you start to believe that you imagined the shitty part and that they couldn’t do anything wrong. This back and forth creates a pattern that the victim will be addicted to, the good parts are so good that they brush off the bad. This is shown in Sugar “I’ve developed a taste for you” and in Distraction “you come crawling back to me, but I’m already on the ground.” If the narcissist is tenacious enough, this will push their victim to the point of wanting to take their own life or attempting to. This is shown in Atlantic, Are you really ok?, Dark Signs, and several others. References to scars on arms, trenches deeper than the scars can show, tearing off limbs, etc etc.

4. Vessel’s actions during: there are several songs where he describes self sacrificing behaviour, the biggest example being The Offering. Just the whole entire song. He gave himself over completely to this person. In a healthy relationship this isn’t a bad thing, but in an unhealthy relationship, it most certainly is. His entire identity could’ve been defined by the other person. “I am Vessel, and I belong to ________. They are my purpose.” That kind of thing. A complete erasure of who he was prior. At this point, he does not know who he is, he depends on them to tell him and others who he is. Through this he also grew to hate himself, and to believe that all of his dreams were probably unrealistic or something like that. And that he is ugly, as is shown in the Fall For Me video. This probably acts as the main driving force behind the masks in the first place. To literally hide behind, in fear that if the mask were to go away, that we the audience would no longer be interested. There’s those insecurities again. Afraid that he’ll lose all of his success if they see his face. Despite the fact that we don’t buy his albums to listen to his face.

5. The aftermath of this: When this relationship ended, which would’ve been after a long course of back and forth, and probably some on again off again cycles, Vessel would’ve been left feeling completely dead inside. To put it simply. Recovering from this kind of abuse takes a very long time, for most it takes months, for others years. At the start, he would likely struggle to see any worth in himself at all, hence him saying that who he is behind the mask does not matter. He was taught that belief. I think we can all agree that for Vess, it took several years to fully recover, and we continue to see his progress with every performance. We can also see this via the evolution of his mask, in the beginning covering his whole face, very much not human. Then the second mask, also not human but also softer. Not as archaic in appearance. But still not human. Still not him. The current mask showing a portion of his face at all times, the red lace like design on the bottom. It’s prettier, softer. It’s more human and approachable, but it has the spikes on it. He still feels the need to defend and protect himself. The other ways we were able to see the damage incurred, was through the fact that for many earlier performances, Vessel was drunk on stage. It doesn’t take a lot of thought to see that he wasn’t feeling too good about himself. A lot of victims of this kind of abuse tend to turn to some kind of vice/addiction to get them through the pain. After going through and getting out of something like that, self care and healthy habits usually isn’t a top priority. All you want in that situation is to numb the pain and distance yourself from it.

Someone on TikTok also pointed out to me the line (I think) from TMBTE “I’ll take a pound of your flesh before you take a piece of my pay stub.” With the idea that the person he was in a relationship with he also worked with, and they hogged a lot of his money. This aligns very much with narcissistic tendencies, as financial abuse is also extremely common.

More about the other members and their roles tomorrow.

[is-the-snake-video-cute]

Hiie!

I can't find any posts about this yet. What are your pros/cons on bioactive enclosures? I've seen alot of opinions online but like, professionally what's the move? I'm a naturalist at a state park and we are getting new terrariums and I want to go bio to display native plants alongside the animals! Can live plants and reptiles do well without the "cleanup crew"?

Also, if moving in the bioactive direction, do you recommend buying an active soil like biodude? I've seen people online using soil, moss, plants, isopods, worms from outside in their tanks. How do you sanitize/quarantine? Are parasites an issue?

Askinf for corn snake, king snake, box turtles, if that makes a difference. I already sent our vet these same questions, I'm casting a wide net for all the info I can get :) Thank youuuu I love this blog sm 💗

Hello hello, very good questions!! I don't keep any of my personal snakes in bioactive enclosures (I don't enjoy trying to keep plants alive and I'm not the biggest fan of insects), but at my wildlife center we've been moving to keeping several of our display snakes in bioactive enclosures for the past few years and they're really nice in educational settings!

Like I said, I don't like bioactive enclosures for my own pets - aside from the additional hassle of bugs and plants, I keep a lot of snakes with special needs and more sterile enclosures make things easier on me. I wouldn't recommend bioactive enclosures for special-needs animals because they make it harder to spot problems like abnormal waste.

On the flip side, though, they're really great tools in educational settings because the naturalistic look sells the whole setup and (as you mention!) is perfect for highlighting native flora. They also never need deep-cleaned, which is a huge plus. They're time-consuming to set up but they can save you time in the long run.

If you're going bioactive, you really do need a cleanup crew. An ideal bioactive enclosure is a minature, self-sustaining ecosystem, and your cleanup crew is essential to getting the nitrogen cycle a-flowin'. Aside from doing the obvious and helping to clean up messes, insects also aerate the soil by burrowing through it, keeping everything healthier. You can totally try to set up plants without the clean up crew, but you might have a bit of a time with regular cleaning at maintenance without their help.

I asked our soil biology expert at my wildlife center, and she says that pre-packaged soils from the Biodude and the like can be super convenient and helpful, but there's also no harm in DIY-ing it if you'd like. You can buy the topsoil, moss, etc. you need at garden centers, and often much cheaper! She agrees with me that there is enough risk of parasites and other dangers such as fertilizers and pesticides with dirt/worms/etc. straight from outside that's it wise to buy it instead just to be safe. Be sure to look for organic topsoils without fertilizer or vermiculite - soils have ingredients written on the bags so be careful to look and make sure! Kellogg brand is my go-to soil for reptiles.

No matter where you get your soils, a good way to sterilize them is with heat. What we actually do at work is just pop it in the microwave! About five minutes per batch works well. This is really important because it kills any mold that may be sneaking in. You don't have to bother with this step if you buy a pre-made soil like the Biodude's, they come safe and ready to use.

Your cleanup crew (springtails and isopods are probably the easiest to work with, I prefer them to anything else honestly) shouldn't need quarantined, though. They should be good to go as soon as you bring them in.

Once you get everything set up, I recommend letting the enclosure cycle for at least a month. We learned from hard experience that your cleanup crew can easily be overwhelmed the presence of your reptile if they're not acclimated to their new home!

All the best!! If you all do decide to go bioactive, I'd love pictures - there are few things better than seeing happy snakes in beautiful enclosures!

[bloodlustngore]

Needed Comfort - Emily Prentiss

So, this has been sitting in my drafts for quite a few months not even a few I think its been in drafts since last year, that I just decided fuck it, it's good enough ig, so enjoy ig :)

Originally was supposed to just be fluff, but its me so ofc I had to have some smut in there ;)

Emily get back home from a case, injured and also needing comfort.

CW: 18+ NSFW, Fingering (Emily recieving), but other then that its fluffy!

You had been missing Emily for a few days now, although the older woman had been updating you about the day, you checking in on her and she checking in on you.

It had been quiet today, you both sent each other 'good morning' texts and then that was it. Today was your day off of work, and also university. So it was a boring day, you went out to get a few things to fill up the cupboards and fridge, especially some more coffee. Knowing that both you and Emily consume coffee quite quickly since you live together.

And then the rest of the day was spent lounging around with yours and Emily's adopted cat, son, Sergio. Laying on the sofa and watching a tv show. ~~~~ It got pretty late and you had no clue you dozed off, checking your phone as soon as you woke up hoping Emily had text that she was coming home. But nothing. Which started to worry you.

Then all of a sudden you heard the front door of the apartment unlock. And that revealed your girlfriend, Emily Prentiss. Sergio jumped down from the sofa and ran towards her. You followed behind.

You heard Emily groan as she leaned down, which indicated she was most likely hurt during the case, which always made you worry of course because what she does is dangerous. "Hi Serg" she greets the black cat and pats him. He meows back happily and then runs off into the kitchen.

"Hi baby" Emily greets you as she stands back up. You were right, she was injured. There was a bandage on her arm and she had a slight black eye. "Oh Em, what happened?" You asked, worrying.

Emily chuckles slightly, as your hand rested on her cheek. She placed her hand on top of yours. "I don't want to talk about it right now" she sighs. You weren't going to push the brunette. Talking about some cases was very difficult for her and the team. Wanting to just forget them...but in the end never doing so.

"Of course love. Is there anything I can do?" You asked. Already knowing the answer when Emily pulled you into a hug. You placed a kiss on her cheek and hugged her back just as much. Standing and holding each other for a good minute. Before you pulled away.

"I'll run you a bath and while you're relaxing I'll make us something to eat" you say softly.

"Can you join me in the bath?" Emily asks. "Of course". Walking with your girlfriend to the bathroom. Emily leans back against the wall and you begin to run the bath. As it runs you help your girlfriend undress. Taking her shirt off and as you did so you leaned in and placed a kiss on her chest. Admiring how beautiful your girlfriend is. You put the vanilla bubble bath in, which was Emily's favourite.

Grabbing her hand after you stripped off your clothes. Emily smiles, just admiring you. Practically making you blush. "You're beautiful Y/n" she says softly, biting her lip slightly.

You smile back at your girlfriend, leaning in for a kiss. "Not as beautiful as you Em" you reply. Giving Emily the comfort she needs.

Emily isn't one to be like this, especially not in front of people. The older woman always comes off as very authoritative and in charge, as well as being able to compartmentalise things a lot easier. Which is she, but considering the fact she didn't want to talk about the previous case right now and came home with physical injuries. She just wanted comfort and of course you were here to provide that, just as Emily does for you.

You got in the bath first this time, usually Emily was the one who got in first so she could wash your back, trace her fingers on your back or just hold you. But this time it was your turn. As Emily sat down in the bath, she let out a sigh of relief. Finally being able to relax herself and muscles, but she kept one arm resting on the side as she needed the bandage off. You pulled your girlfriends back flush against your chest, her head laying on your shoulder, looking at you and smiling, Your arm reached over and helped her undo the bandage. Seeing the damage done to her arm.

"Oh Em, why didn't you call me?" You asked the older woman.

"I didn't want to worry you any further. I should've called I know. It's really not too bad now. A couple stitches so I have to be careful" Emily mentions. You placed kisses at the side of her neck, your hands go to her waist under the water. Emily let's put a few relaxed sighs.

"Can you lean forward for me baby? And get the body wash and shampoo" you mentioned. Emily nodded her head as she leaned forward, reaching over the other side of the bath and grabbing the coconut shampoo and vanilla body wash you both use. Although you preferred the strawberry one you have, you liked the vanilla one because that's Emily's go to scent and when she was away on a case you used it just to smell like her. But she was here right now.

"Do you want me to get the strawberry one to?" She asked just in case. "No, don't worry about it Em" you added.

Emily had to sit up again so you could lather the vanilla body wash on her back, while she got the front. You massaged it into her shoulders and when you hit a spot that had quite a bit of tension Emily let out a low moan, as you relieved the tension in her shoulders. You chuckled. "You sound so pretty" you whispered. Emily smirked at that, turning to face you.

"But the pretty noises you make are better" she reminds you, despite her giving up some control, she was in the middle of that zone. "Tonight isn't about me" you reminded her. But still Emily grabbed more body wash and helped you get your back.

Washing Emily's hair was one of your favourite things. Emily wouldn't ever admit it in front of anyone else but she loved it when you played with her hair. As you massaged the shampoo through her brunette hair, letting her relax again. You completely stopped to press light kisses along her neck and shoulder. "Y/n what happened to washing my hair?" She chuckled. But you didn't listen, instead you trailed your hand down her chest, to her stomach and hip bone. Your other hand squeezed her right breast lightly before pinching the nipple between your fingers. Emily relaxed against you again, her head on your shoulder. You leaned your head down slightly to kiss her, Emily's tongue instantly in your mouth. You hand finally stopped at her pussy, teasing her clit lightly. Emily moaned into your mouth a few times.

"What do you want baby?" You asked her. "You Y/n I want you" she replies. She kissed you again, her mouth opening in a silent moan when she felt your fingers teasing her clit again, before you pushed two fingers inside her. "Shit" she breaths out. You could feel her chest rising and falling. Her breath becoming heavier as you move your fingers inside her.

"More please" Emily whimpered. She was giving you all the control now but you knew it wouldn't last long afterwards.

You sped up your actions, your palm hitting her clit every now and then with the pace of your fingers. Feeling her walls contracting around them. This was supposed to be comfort only, but sometimes 'comfort' for you and Emily also meant soft sex (sorta) in the mix somewhere.

"Y/n oh god!" Emily moaned. She could barely kiss you properly anymore, her mouth dropping open. Her hands gripped on the sides of the bathtub. Knuckles turning white.

You kissed the sensitive part behind her ear "are you close, Em" you whispered.

Your pace quickened. "Shit" Emily whimpered, her soft moans echoed through the apartments bathroom. But neither of you could care less if anyone heard. Too in the moment to bother about it.

"Y/n!" The older woman almost screamed your name. You fucked her through her orgasm, slowing down as she came down from her high. Emily's grip on the bathtub softened. She immediately leaned back into you, capturing your lips in a desperate kiss.

"Your turn" Emily smirks as she calms down, "open" you order, Emily complies and opens her mouth. You put your fingers that you used on her in her mouth, allowing the brunette woman to taste herself.

"Just letting you know how good you taste" you whispered. Emily moaned and you pulled your fingers from her mouth. Emily turned to face you, with a smirk.

"No Em, I got everything I needed from you. Let's just finish up, rebandage your arm, order food and go to bed okay?" You mention. Emily pouted.

"Just because my dominant arm and hand is injured doesn't mean I can't make you feel good." Emily winked.

"Emily. You're bruised and also have a slight black eye." You added. Although you probably weren't going to win.

"Baby, just because I'm injured doesn't mean I'm still not in charge." She added, feeling like herself already.

"Now be a good girl for me" Emily adds.

Smirking at your girlfriend "No, you need to be patient" thinking you were so funny, but now you're in for it tonight.

[positively--speculative]

Yes, it is possible to "like" a piece of media on the surface alone. But I think what some people don't understand is that media *analysis* gives you the opportunity to learn about the culture and sociopolitics surrounding the media, and doing so gives a person the opportunity to *appreciate* the media they enjoy and enjoy it the way the artist intended.

Like, you can like Star Wars as "people blowing each other up in space," but if you don't understand that The Empire was based off real fascist regimes, than you cannot appreciate Luke Skywalker as a poor, working class hero, who got face to face with it and helped take it down (and the first movie was only released 30 years after WWII ended).

But I think what makes people uncomfortable is the other thing media analysis can help us do, which is question the quality of the media we consume. I see this especially with big brands like the MCU. "They're just movies where crazy stuff happens and I like it," some will say. But when you analyze the movies. When you realize that few of the movies have anything meaningful to say or take away, or that some even might have some *questionable* themes and messages that go unchallenged, it gets people uncomfortable and angry. They would rather be mad at you for spoiling their fun than get angry with their brand and demand better...because it's easier to ignore the problems and keep handing over their money instead of withholding.

[sequinsmile-x]

Office Supplies

The only people who don't know Emily and Aaron love each other are Emily and Aaron.

Penelope, and Dave, take decisive action.

-x-

This is a birthday present for @emilyshotchniss! I hope you had a lovely day, and that you enjoy this fic <3

-x-

Words: 3.1k

Warnings: None

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

“You should tell him.” 

Emily sighs, briefly stopping herself from stirring her coffee, giving herself a moment before she turns back to look at her friend, “Pen, I’m not going to tell him.” 

“But you told me.” 

Emily throws the spoon she’d been using into the sink and holds her coffee between both her hands, the heat from the mug easier to feel than her frustration towards her friend. 

“Yes, because you plied me with absinthe, which may as well be truth serum,” she grumbles, “The combination of you and alcohol can make me admit shit I literally wouldn’t admit under torture.” 

Penelope, unbothered by Emily’s bad mood, carries on, “But peaches, you love Hotch-”

“Be quiet,” Emily says through her teeth, looking around to make sure they were still alone, the kitchen in the bullpen still mercifully empty, “We’re at work.” 

She’d known it for years. The initial pull in her belly when he was missing after Foyet attacked him, something she had told herself was just concern at the time, morphing into something all-consuming. She’d feel her cheeks get warm whenever he stood too close to her. The smell of his cologne enough to make her lose her chain of thought, the heat that he seemed to have in excess rolling off of him and making her shiver if he so much as put his hand on her back to move past her on the jet. 

If there was any part of her that thought it was just about sex she would have jumped him long ago. Let him fuck her against a door or wall, whatever the nearest surface was, to get it, him, out of her system. But it was more than that, it always had been.

She was in love with him. She loved his smile, its rarity making it all the more precious. She loved his dry sense of humour, how he’d use it to disarm the team to make them laugh when they needed it the most. She loved his presence, how she’d feel safe if he just so happened to be in a room. 

And she loved how he loved people. The subtle way he looked after them all, and the not-so-subtle way he had saved her life. 

In Paris, the feelings she had been able to push down burst into life. Everything that had once seemed to live in a grey area transformed into technicolour, settling into her very bones. Her love for him becoming such a part of her she knows she would never be able to stop. She told herself in Paris, those long, lonely days and nights stretching into an infinity, that if she made it back she’d tell him. That she’d take a gamble on the few moments she wondered if he loved her too. Hazy memories of him visiting her in the hospital, still in the suit from her funeral, that she’d half convinced herself were a dream, leading the charge. His hand tight around hers and his lips against her forehead as he promised her he’d catch Ian. 

She didn’t want to do anything when she first got back home partially because she didn’t want him to think that it was out of some kind of gratitude. That he’d saved her life so she wanted to be with him because of it. But also because he deserved better than how she was when she first got home. A shadow of her former self. 

By the time she felt ready for it, different than before but better than she had been, he introduced them to Beth. A woman who looked more like her than his ex-wife, and came without any of the complications than she would bring. So Emily did what she’d always done when she’d had her heart broken. She’d watched all the Star Wars movies in one weekend, cried more than she had in a long time and ate her weight in fries and ice cream. Then the next time she saw everyone she was ok again, content for her happy ending with Aaron to exist nowhere but in her fantasies that had never quite come to fruition. 

Until a girl's night when she’d drunkenly admitted she was in love with him. Shocking Penelope but apparently not JJ, who claimed she had always known there was something there. Damage control hadn’t worked, and now Penelope brought it up often, sure that Aaron would feel the same way. 

“Sorry,” Pen says, leaning in closer and lowering her voice, “I’m just saying-”

“Enough, Pen,” Emily says, sighing when she snaps a little more than she intended to, “It’s…not going to happen. He’s happy with Beth.”

“But he’s-”

“Please,” she pleads with her friend, her eyes flicking to the door to the bullpen as it opens, Aaron flashing her a smile as he walks in. She hates herself for the way her stomach flips, something that once excited her making her feel nauseous, “Please just leave it.” 

Penelope sighs, watching as the sadness Emily clearly tries to fight floods her eyes, but she nods, knowing that for now, this wasn’t an argument she was going to win.

“Ok, fine,” Penelope says, reaching out and putting her hand on Emily’s arm, “I’m sorry.” 

“It’s ok,” Emily says, smiling tightly at her friend, “I guess I just missed my chance.”

Penelope watches as she walks away, leaning against the kitchen counter, blowing out a steady breath as she spots Dave arriving for the day. 

“Time to bring in the big guns,” she mutters to herself, an idea already forming in her head.

___

Emily groans as the looks at the clock, the time dragging on in a way that almost made her wish for a case. Her cell phone screen lights up, and Pen’s name along with a text message flashes up at her. 

Can you do me a favour?”

Emily raises an eyebrow and types out her response. Favours for Penelope could range from the obscure to the barely legal, so she was hesitant to agree to anything without further detail.

What kind of favour?

The response is immediate as if Penelope had never put her phone down whilst she waited for a reply.

Can you get me some sticky notes from the supply closet? I’m all out.

Pretty please. I’ll owe you forever. 

Emily sighs and shakes her head, already standing up as she replies.

You’re lucky I’m bored. The brightly coloured ones? 

She smiles as she gets a response, slipping her phone into her back pocket once she’s read it. 

You know me so well.

She’s distracted as she walks to the supply closet, not paying attention as she opens the door and then closes it behind her again, almost jumping out of her skin when she realises she’s not alone in the tiny room. 

“Shit,” she exclaims, her hand over her heart as Aaron turns to face her, his eyes wide as she clearly surprises him too, “Sorry,” she says, clearing her throat, “I wasn’t expecting to see you in here.” 

“It’s ok,” he replies, smiling at her, his dimples carved out into his cheeks as well as her heart, “Dave asked me to get some pens for him,” he says, holding up the box in his hand, “Although why he couldn’t get them himself is beyond me.” 

She chuckles, “Well, I guess it’s always good to be kind to the elderly.” 

Aaron laughs, the bright sound that made her heart swell in her chest, endless thoughts of what could have been enough to make her cry. 

“I won’t tell him you said that,” he replies, “What are you here for?”

“Pen needed some sticky notes,” she says, reaching for a box of them from the shelf in between them, “Apparently we both have side gigs as assistants now.” 

Any response is cut off by the lock on the door behind her clicking shut, and her eyes go wide, the trap that she had fallen into suddenly clear. She turns around and tries to pull at the door handle, sighing when it doesn’t open. 

“Pen, open the door I know you’re out there.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Pen’s muffled voice says through the door, “It must be broken we’ll have to call facilities.” 

Emily looks over her shoulder to look at Aaron, his eyebrows furrowed together in confusion and she looks back at the door, “I heard the lock click.” 

“Funny,” Dave says, and she closes her eyes, leaning her forehead against the door as she realises Penelope wasn’t doing this alone, “I didn’t. Must be my age.” He quips, letting her know he’d been stood out there the whole time and heard their conversation so far. 

“I swear to god, I will kill-”

“We’ll call facilities and get you out of there as soon as we can,” Penelope says, cutting her off before she can finish her threat, “You guys entertain yourself, talk.”

“Penelope,” She warns, but she can already hear footsteps receding, and she knows she and Aaron are alone. She blows out a breath and turns to look at him.

“What was that all about?” He asks, his eyebrows creasing together, and she sighs, running her hand through her hair. 

As soon as she was out of here she was going to kill Penelope and Dave. 

___

Aaron was in love with her.

He’d known it for years. The safety of her smile, her kindness, the place where he sought sanctuary more often than not. Using her as a sounding board when he needed it, drawn towards her because of more than her obvious beauty. 

When he stood over a grave that he knew was empty, he told himself when he got her back, because he’d never been able to think in a world of ‘ifs’ as far as that was concerned, he’d tell her. He’d take a gamble that Dave had always told him was a sure one. His friend always keen to tell him how Emily looked at him when he wasn’t looking. 

At first, he knew the timing wasn’t right. That she wasn’t herself, and he wondered if maybe Emily Prentiss had died that day in Boston. He still loved her and he knew he always would, but as time went on he felt more sure that their time had passed. That the closest he’d ever come to telling her how he felt was the kiss against her forehead in the hospital, apologies muttered against her skin. 

Meeting Beth had been an accident. She was nice and pretty. Funny. And everything that any man would be lucky to find in a woman. At first, he’d turned down her obvious attempts at flirting, but then eventually he decided to give it a go. Any hopes of a fairy tale ending with Emily gone as soon as he overheard Penelope and JJ talking about Emily being in love with someone enough to convince him to let what had only been a few dates with Beth turn into something more.

“Aaron?” 

He stops walking towards his office and turns back to Dave, his friend's use of his name pulling him out of his thoughts, “Yes?” 

Dave smiles at him, something in his eyes glinting, “Would you mind doing me a favour?” 

___

Emily swallows thickly as she places the sticky notes back down, her arms tight across her chest. 

“I…”

She drifts off, unsure how she can get out of this without telling him what she had kept secret for so long, forced into admittance by well-meaning but interfering friends. She knew Penelope and Dave well enough to know that they wouldn’t let them out of here until they deemed the situation solved, or if there was an emergency of some kind. And whilst Emily wasn’t above wishing for a case, she thought there would be some sort of bad karma involved in actively hoping for a major incident. 

Aaron frowns, concerned by her uncharacteristic quietness, all of the levity of their conversation before the door locked gone. He places the box of pens down and steps towards her, his hand on her arm. His concern only deepens when she pulls away like she’s been burned, folding further into herself in an attempt to put some space between them in the tiny closet they were in. 

“Emily,” he says, his use of her first name purposeful, “You can tell me anything, you know that.” 

She looks up at him from where she’d been staring at the floor and her eyes meet his. There’s nothing but understanding in his eyes, and something she daren’t call love. 

“I’m worried it will change things,” she says, the words feeling heavy as they leave her chest. A vulnerability that she hated threatening to choke her. 

“Well,” he says, stepping back to give her a tiny bit more space, respecting that it was what she needed, “That’s not possible, unless you’re about to tell me you were a spy for another government organisation,” he jokes, offering her a half smile, “In which case I’ll just be more impressed that you found time to do it all.” 

She chokes on a laugh and shakes her head at him, “No it’s not…it’s not that, I promise.” 

“Then tell me. You’ll feel better,” he says, wanting nothing more than to pull her into a hug, to offer her comfort he’s not sure she wants. She stares at him and blows out a breath, nodding before she looks back down at the floor, unable to look at him as she finally says it out loud. 

“A couple of months ago I got drunk on a girl's night and admitted to Pen and JJ that I…that I have feelings for you,” she says quietly, hoping that by some miracle he won’t hear her, “And ever since then Pen has been trying to convince me that I should tell you. Which is why she’s locked us in here,” she keeps staring at the floor, tears gathering in her eyes at the continued silence, a confirmation she hadn’t needed that this was pointless, “I keep telling her that you’re with Beth-”

“I’m not with Beth,” he says, finally finding his voice. 

She looks up so quickly her neck hurts, but she barely registers it, “What?” 

Aaron clears his throat, the shock of Emily’s confession wearing off as the pieces fall into place. He realises that he was the guy that he overheard JJ and Penelope talking about weeks ago, and he shakes his head at himself.

“I broke up with her a couple of weeks ago,” he says, his hands in his pockets just to do something with them. 

“Why didn’t you say something?” she asks, her heart beating so firmly in her chest that she’s sure he might be able to hear it. 

“It’s not like it’s some big secret,” he replies, shrugging his shoulders, taking a small step towards her, “Garcia actually found out last night when she asked about my plans, I’m surprised she didn’t tell you.”

Emily chuckles humourlessly as she thinks about that morning, about her friend's seemingly newly revamped attempts to get her to admit to Aaron how she feels about him, and she shakes her head. She looks at him, her arms still across her chest as she tries to heave in a breath, her lungs seemingly full of nothing but him and his cologne because of how close he now was. 

“Wh…why did you break up with her?” She asks, not entirely sure if she wanted to know the answer, sure that the hope that was sparking in her belly was nothing more than yet another thing she’d end up being burned by. 

Aaron gathers himself, his chest tight with emotions he hadn’t felt since he was a teenager who was about to ask out Haley, the other great love of his life. He reaches out to touch Emily, tucking some hair behind her ear, and her breath catches in her throat, her eyes wide as they meet his. 

“Because it didn’t seem fair on either one of us to stay with her when I was in love with someone else.” 

His words hang heavily between them, the air thick with opportunity and what could be about to happen. She stares at him, her mouth open slightly as she licks at her lower lip, wetting it in a way she sees him watch. 

“Aaron…” 

“I thought…” he shakes his head at himself, “I don’t know what I thought. But I’ve always known you could do better than me.” 

She frowns, her shock turning into outrage, “That’s not true,” she says, shaking her head fiercely, furious at him for thinking such a thing, “That’s not true,” she repeats. Everything that had happened in the last few minutes had thrown her for a loop, her entire body practically vibrating with things she didn’t understand, every nerve on edge as she came to terms with the conversation they were having. She grabs the lapels of his jacket, her eyes fixed on his tie, “I…I wanted to be better for you. You’ve been through so much, and I didn’t want to add to that burden.”

“Em,” he says, cupping her cheek, making her look back up at him, “I love you,” he says, and she chokes on a sound halfway between a sob and a laugh as she shakes her head, “You could never be a burden.” 

She doesn’t know what to say, isn’t sure that there is anything that could be said, so she leans forward, closing the gap between them as she presses her lips against his. Everything else stops, and all she can feel is him. His hand at her cheek, the other pressing into her lower back as he pulls her closer, both of them lost in something they know they have been walking towards for years. 

They only pull away when Oxygen becomes necessary, both of them laughing as they lean their foreheads against each other. 

“I love you too,” she says, lifting her hand to cup his cheek, her thumb pressing into his lower lip, “I have for a long time.” 

“We have a lot to talk about,” he says, kissing her thumb before she removes it, smiling as he leans in to kiss her again, “If we ever get out of here.” She laughs and presses her head into his shoulder, her body feeling light for the first time in as long as she can remember, “Still want to kill them?” 

“Maybe not kill,” she says, tilting her head up to look at him, “But I’m sure I’ll think of some kind of revenge.”

Aaron laughs and leans in to kiss her, both of them once again lost in it, in each other, until the door is pulled open and they break apart at the sound of a squeal.

They elope seven months later. 

They break the news to Penelope by leaving a photo taken at the courthouse on her desk, along with a message written on a brightly coloured sticky note. 

Thank you.

Love, The Hotchners 

-x-

Tag list:

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Note: there are now enough people on my tag list that it needs to be done in two parts, so if you aren't tagged straight away you will be tagged as quickly as I can in a reblog :)

[padfootdaredmetoo]

Sherlock & Peaky Sister Extras

Two extra parts from this request, where a Shelby sister reader befriends her neighbor Enola and eventually Sherlock Holmes. These happen after she is friends with Enola and gives more info on how she became closer with Sherlock before the ending of that post.

Warnings: sickness, peaky-related themes,

The Case:

Readers POV

One quiet night you were tucked into bed with a romance novel and a mug of hot tea when your bedroom door slammed open. Enola was red in the face and your stomach dropped. Your whole body tensed up ready for a fight. 

“Enola!” Sherlock’s voice snarled from somewhere in your apartment. 

“Qucik I need your help!” She quickly threw your robe at you and you climbed out of bed. She dragged you into their apartment and passed a very angry ranting Sherlock. 

“You can't burst into people’s spaces like that - she’s not going to understand and your wasting precious time.-” He rambled on as she dragged you towards the kitchen table where a bunch of newspaper clippings and little tiles with letters and numbers were sprawled out. All the clippings were in various languages most of which you spoke. 

You placed them in order by date, most of them were about a specific political leader. A few of them outlining murders that had happened in the past two weeks. 

You read them carefully and noted things that stuck out to you. Enola went into a long explanation of everything they had worked out pointing to the wall that was covered in articles and photographs. You nodded along and felt the annoyance radiating off of Sherlock.  You made some points on cultural things they had skipped over and corrected some things they had gotten wrong with their translations. 

It was a long night but it was of vital importance so you sat translating things for them and giving your thoughts on the murders, and why you felt they were connected. 

You enjoyed the slight look of surprise in his face before he started to elaborate on your thoughts. The way he paced the room and the things he thought made your mind swirl. How could someone absorb that much information? 

You all quieted down again working on various things when his hand brushed your shoulder. You jumped and noticed he’d made you a mug of tea. While sitting at his desk it seemed impossible not to bump into his large frame or brush fingers while reaching for articles. 

You would write things out and hand them to him and he seemed to be intent on keeping you comfortable. He grabbed a blanket to wrap around your shoulders. He seemed to notice everything but being pleasant or considerate seemed to be something lost on him, or maybe he just pretended to be that way. 

You pushed your thoughts out of your mind to continue on. Before long you had made enough progress to put it together.

Sherlock went on a rant putting the info together before finally calling out the name of the killer. You let out a whoop of excitement, happy that the logic was foolproof. He gave you a small smile before setting off to the Yard. 

Enola finally gave up her argument to tag along and the two of you went back to your apartment and collapsed in your large bed. 

Opiates for the common cold

Sherlock's POV

Sherlock got out of bed to a very quiet and empty flat. He moved through the space concluding that Enloa must have spent another night at your flat. At this point, you should have been charging him rent for all the time she spent over there. It would make his morning easier though, he had a meeting with Lestrade. 

He thought of you and all the work you put into his last case and sighed. It was a horrible distraction having you around while trying to work, or really do anything. Everything about you was consuming and somehow his brain slowed in your presence. 

He was about to leave when he noticed that her shoes were still by the door. Mind you she could have other shoes. When coming closer the doormat was still crumpled from where he had kicked it in frustration the night before. Enola had laughed at him over it.

He turned his gaze to Enola’s bedroom, half scolding himself because he really didn't have time for this sort of thing. He knocked on the door and a muffled groan responded.

“Enola?” He asked opening the door slowly. She was laying on her side in a tight ball. 

“M’ sick.” She said in a very scruffy tone of voice. He stood there looking at the girl resentment for her situation was plain on her face. 

He could see her face was flushed, shivering despite the sweat on her brow. The rest of her seemed very pale and weak.  

“I’ll call for a doctor.” He said quickly. It hurt him to see her like that and he was at a loss for what to do. Should he sit next to her for the day? She was much too old for needing that much of his attention. She would probably want space to rest. 

He called the doctor, then listened to Lestrade try to boss him around. Annoyance towards the man grew and Sherlock took a deep breath. Yes, there was another murder he needed to attend to, but he didn’t feel right about leaving Enola alone with a man in the house. 

Perhaps you would know what to do? Or at least you probably wouldn't mind staying while the doctor was visiting. He moved across to your flat and knocked on the door wondering if you would respond. If you were reading you became completely useless. He knocked again and really hoped he wouldn't have to enter to go startle you again. 

To his surprise you opened the door, looking like your usual self when he saw you. Your hair was a mess and the dress you were wearing was very simple cotton. You looked like you had just rolled out of bed. 

“Sorry to disturb you,” Sherlock remembered to say before bombarding you with requests and demands. “Enola is sick - she has a cold.” 

“Oh” Your eyes widened with shock and you turned around and hurried into the kitchen. 

“If it’s not too much of a bother -” But you had already moved past him with multiple jars in your hands. You moved into Enola’s space with the same comfort that she showed when moving around your flat. 

You sat on the edge of her bed and placed your hand on her forehead. He watched very carefully as you moved between Enola’s bedroom and the kitchen. Applying compresses and making her eat spoonfuls of odd things. Enola looked more at peace once you settled into the girl's bed holding her hand. 

“Read to me?” 

“Of course,” You said looking at the various piles of books. It was such a peculiar thing to witness. He knew women were more maternal. But had no memory of being touched so gently or fussed over. You looked worried and you had a way of interacting with the situation that was helpful but also comforting. He realized for a moment that he felt jealous. Towards you or Enola he wasn't sure. 

The doctor would be there soon enough, but leaving the two of you caused a feeling of warning in his stomach. He gave a sigh of frustration before calling Lestrade back and saying he must stay home. 

This wasn't like him at all. His mind was racing with different possibilities. What if the doctor was an absolute idiot? Everything you had given Enola was herbal and provided a low risk of being fatal, the doctor however could have given her the wrong amounts of all sorts of things. How many dead bodies had he seen that had been poisoned or had overdosed? 

Running a hand through his hair he moved back to the doorway to Enola’s room. The two of you looked very comfortable and he wondered why you weren't afraid of getting sick. 

“Lestrade said I’m not needed.” He announced a lie that he hoped would keep Enola happy. 

“That’s alright, pick a book for us then?” You said with a smile. Enola let out a loud groan. 

“Nothing stupid please.” She said before coughing. He left the room and picked up a book of murder mysteries. When she first moved in that was the only thing they would do together other than argue. 

“New book of mysteries.” He said before sitting in the armchair near the bed. He still felt a wave of discomfort at your ability to hold Enola to your chest lovingly. 

He read the first story out loud pausing to hear Enola’s thoughts and counter them. He observed you and the way your fingers would tighten where they rested on Enola’s shoulder every time he raised his voice.

Something he would have to ask you about later, he took a deep breath and tried to enjoy the argument rather than win it. Your posture responded to his change of tone immediately. 

As the story progressed they both ended up with the same conclusion, the correct suspect. 

The doctor showed up and he noticed your reluctance to move from the girl's side. You both watched the man carefully before he prescribed a bottle of cough medication and a large amount of opiates. 

Sherlock paid him and was about to pocket the opiates for himself when you moved out of the room and stood close to him. “That's really heavy stuff, Sherlock, she has a simple cold she doesn't need any pain killers.” You were whispering but there was an angry edge to your tone that surprised him. 

Sherlock looked at the worry on your face and wanted to ask why you had such an intense reaction. Did she think so little of him to think he would just hand Enola a bunch of drugs, did she think Enola was stupid enough to take them? 

“I wasn't planning on giving it to her. I know what Opiates are.” He looked down and saw some relief on your face. 

“Took us ages to get my brother clean,” you whispered your face scrunched up as if remembering something painful. He knew a decent amount about Thomas’s motives and choices to bring the family where they were today, however, he knew very little about the rest of the family or what prices they had to pay. 

“Enola’s too smart for that anyway.” He said, happy when a laugh escaped your lips. “Don’t tell her I said that though. She doesn't need more encouragement” 

You leaned against the counter after putting the kettle on the stove. 

“Why not?” You asked looking entirely too comfortable in his kitchen. He thought about his answer carefully and tried not to get distracted by the way you looked up at him. 

“This life,” He let out a sigh. “Is complicated and dangerous. It doesn't matter to her know, but it will.” There was pain evident in his voice, something he knew you were too smart to miss. Your eyes narrowed slightly as if you could see into his mind. 

“You don't seem very dangerous.” You whispered slowly and if he wasn't aware of Enola watching them from her open bedroom door, he would have had nothing holding him back from kissing you. 

A moment flew through his mind of what it would feel like to throw you onto the counter and embrace you. He looked down at you and noticed your eyes focused on his lips and could feel how your pulse quickened. 

This problem was becoming difficult to ignore.

[not-gray-politics]

I think something that's important for people to recognize is that you can like something and also call out/be aware of its problems at the same time. Like, you can like the amazing animation in spiderverse and also acknowledge that it has a fatphobia problem. You aren't a bad person for wanting to like some aspects of something and not others. I think a good way to draw lines is to see: - if the problematic or bigoted parts of a piece of media are central to its plot (if removing them would change large parts of the story or characters, it's time to reconsider what you gain from consuming it in the first place. It can be hard to let go of media you grew up with or feel attached to, but sometimes it's worth it if it means not internalizing harmful ideas and caricatures) - how much money from purchases/support goes to the creator if the creator is the problematic part and not the contents of the media itself (this is easier solved than the other points cause if the answer to the first point is no, you can always give things the ol yarr harr 🏴‍☠️ yknow what im sayin) - whether the person/people creating said media is using their monetary gain or popularity to actively influence politics or has made it a direct clear personal goal to attack certain groups of people (For example, a handful of insensitive or harmful jokes will always be bad, and it's up to the individual if they want to forgive something like that or not, but there's a point of no return when it goes from shitty jokes to active intentional malice and outright attacks. It's why I can try to enjoy other aspects of an anime that has a small handful of fatphobic jokes in it that can be skipped, but I will never support anything the kardashians make because they actively work in the diet industry which destroys people mentally and physically every day. Or how I will never be okay with anyone supporting J.K. Rowling because she didn't just write some bad tropes into her books, she's actively attacking marginalized communities in real life and has become a supporter of outright fascism. There's a line and it's pretty clear.) These are just my guidelines and thoughts though, lmk if there's something else I should've included or mentioned

[absolutebl]

Do you think whether you watch a bl live or binge it affects your viewing experience?

Because for me, when i watch ep by ep, i am always left with time to consume, reflect, and expect... analyze and make theories... etc. Sometimes, i think this causes much more disappointment later on when certain things i thought were important end up simply not being anything, for example. With binge watching, on the other hand, i don't really have time to think much before jumping onto the next episode, so i feel like it doesn't leave a lot of room for criticism or analysis. I used to be strictly a binge watcher before i started liking to live watch for the fandom experience but it can be a bit draining for me to consume a show for a couple of months, especially that i tend to hyperfixate if i like something too much. Anyways, i was curious to know whether you might look at your viewing experience a bit differently as someone who avidly watches most of their shows live

Have a wonderful dayyy

BL Binging Versus the Weekly Watch

Yes! I have tons of thoughts.

It absolutely emotionally and psychologically impacts the experience.

@heretherebedork and I talk about this all the time

Whether you identify as a binger.

There are some people who just like watching one way over the other. They know themselves best. Bingers usually have to make the choice to wait and that takes will power I don't have. Also if they don't like spoilers, they gotta avoid bloggers like moi.

Whether you have binging thrust upon you.

Some of us have life, or access, or other issues. So some shows we must binge by default, and others we don't have to.

As a critic, I have to acknowledge that the means by which I consume a thing effects how I enjoy it. (I would include device and platform here as well.)

I actually like both ways of watching BL.

I don't really fall into either camp. I have no will power and I love gossiping about shows so I watch weekly, but binging is really fun too. Way more immersive. I still wit often pause it to take notes as I go.

But there are certainly times when I feel like binging (or not) effected my experience and opinion of the show - one way or the other. Usually I am more fair to a weekly and less fair to binge. My mind has a chance to be changed via discourse over a weekly show but NOT with a binge. Or someone's opinion foreshadows my binging enjoyment.

Personally: I try to watch weekly and then if I have time (and care enough) rewatch as a binge to be confident in my thoughts.

But the act of watching something the FIRST time is profound, so the initial mechanism of consumption really does matter.

Are BLs better binged or watched in intallments?

I think if the show was designed for cinematic release, then the creators intend it to be binged. So movies should be binged.

So what about those series KBLs that are repackaged as movies? What about KBLs in general, which run much shorter than most other shows? What about JBLs? That entire tradition started out with the movie mentality, and they still kind of have that attitude and approach - their series are structured a bit more like movies than episodes.

I don't have an easy answer.

I find that I enjoy re-watching KBLs because they are so short. I can squeeze them in in under a few hours, so I do tend to reach for them to binge after airing.

Conversely, I find that I rarely have the patience to binge Thai BL without skipping large chunks, side stories, or fast forwarding through them. I find the longer running series with longer episodes each, easier to watch as weekly installments.

Ironically this means I rarely rewatch the best of these. BLs like La Pluie and Step by Step have been sitting on my rewatch pile for ages, but not making it to the top because they're gonna take so much time because I want to rewatch them thoroughly from start to finish, no skipping.

That said, those BLs that have very short episodes but are airing weekly, are much more work to watch weekly, because so little happens it's difficult to remember what occurred in the previous installment.

Since it is all so complicated, I don't think you can make an objective call as to whether the length of a BL, or the country it comes from, predicates that the entire oeuvre be binged or not.

Are there generalities?

I I HAD to pick, I'd binge

Korean,

Vietnamese,

Pinoy,

and Taiwanese BL.

And those few Thai BLs that goes lakorn or historical (rare, but things like ICFYLITA or Manner of Death or Laws of Attraction).

Because Korean stuff is so short and tidy and because Taiwanese & Pinoy stuff (and Thai lakorn) is so long, untidy, messy, and frustrating, I hate waiting between episodes. Vietnamese stuff tends to be one or the other of the above styles.

I'd watch Thai BL and Japanese stuff in weekly installments.

Both require more patience and thought between shows.

Although some of my favorite JBLs were binges. (I Cannot Reach You and Seven Days).

So what they hell do I know?

[prettyboykatsuki]

Hii plz just ignore this if you’re uncomfortable or reply to it if you'd like to reply I really would appreciate it but I just need to get some stuff out of my chest

I feel so so bad I just cant see whats the point in my life anymore I feel as if Im just consuming and not giving anything in return I feel useless I dont know how to take a joke or how to make one I dont know how to express my feelings and emotions properly and people keep getting the wrong ideas and Im tired of explaining anything to anyone and I feel as if all of my friends aren’t really there like Im just a passing person on their life I keep losing people and I keep leaving people afraid of them leaving me sometimes and I dont get what the hell is wrong with me sometimes I wish I was never born or if I were someone else but then again I wish I had the power to keep moving and make my life better but I cant even do that I study day and night and I dont get the grade that I want while some people I knew spends their whole life on social media and they are getting full grades literally I feel like Im useless in every aspect of life and I know I shouldn’t be complaining and there are people who have it worse but I really needed to get that out of my chest and I can’t trust anyone of the people I know to tell them all of this also Im going through exams and shit so I just feel really pressured and all

Anyway thank you if you wasted your time reading this or not it doesn’t matter but I really enjoy your writings as well they make me feel alive so thank you for existing🩵

hello!

i thought for a long time today on how to reply to this. or if i should. get asks like this that are triggering can be very tricky to navigate, because on one had it is hard for me. and on the other, i care and have sympathy for you. and i think sometimes, it is easier to reach out to stranger about how you feel than people you love. so i would never blame you for that, or want to make you feel worse.

mostly, i want to say i am unqualified to help you completely. because im just a person who's live a vague concept of a life. take my words with a grain of salt.

i think the most important thing for you to remember is that everything you are experiencing is temporary. and i dont say that to dismiss you, but because i think it worth examining everything in your life and thinking that when it gets to be too much. you are worrying about so much at once, but you'll disillusion yourself in that process.

suffering, pain, excitement, joy. these are all very temporary things to feel, even when they seem like they'll go on forever. they are big, abstract concepts that will torment you near relentless if you let them. the only thing that you have with you concretely, is what you are able to do right now.

i wont tell you that life will immediately get better because to make a life that doesn't make you suffer takes so much time. it is so much work to build a good life and it is constant work - but never impossible. but i think it will quell the pain a little to take a deep breath and slow down to process what you're experiencing, which is a big brush of hopelessness that is so encompassing.

everything feels hopeless because you trying to tackle everything all at once. to me, it doesn't sound like you want to die. it sounds like you want it to be easier. it sounds like you want to burden the lessen, which ultimately means you desire a life. and you sound like you're trying very hard to do that all while worrying about everything else at the same time.

i dont know if i have any advice for you. any good advice, but if i could urge you do anything - it would be to take a deep breath and remember it will pass. it always does. and after that, sort your problems out one by one. and once you've done it, pick the thing that is most urgent that you can change, and start to work towards it. do it slowly and try to keep everything else out of your mind.

if you fail, forgive yourself. you have to forgive yourself. sometimes, the only thing you are able to do is live. or try to live. that doesn't make you useless. no human beings worth is measured by what they can and cannot do. you wouldn't love someone based on what they do but who they are.

and maybe you don't like who you are. maybe your friends aren't the right fit. maybe it will be lonely for a while. you can change it. you can find something new or maybe it will teach you to like your own company. it will pass and you will come out of the other side. but the only way to change those things is to try, and sometimes fail, and to forgive yourself after that and then try more. the world is not ending you just have to take it one day at a time.

it will be fine because everything passes unwillingly. and eventually this will just be another bad day. you're not useless. give yourself some grace for trying. and i hope it gets easier.

[thewitchesfortune]

So someone posted a short rant earlier that kind of pissed me off, but rather than going on their post and starting a fight, I'd like to make my own rant about it. I also wound up blocking that person, because they've been posting things I disagree with far more than anything, and I disagree inherently with the ideology behind the post they made.

They essentially said that routine and discipline in the craft are not at all important, and neither is getting results. They said that anyone who believes any of it IS important had a "toxic grindset/workout mentality", which is rather ridiculous to be honest. Basically they were comparing occultists who are dedicated as the gymrats of the occult world.

First, routine is important. I'm not great at building routines myself, but if you have a routine set up for monthly and weekly spells it will help you keep on top of things. And to address some of the comments on that post that I know I'll get, I am also neurodivergent. I am undiagnosed, suspected adhd. Routines are extremely difficult for me to start, especially if they are spaced out. Once I am IN a routine though, it's so much easier to keep up with

Discipline is not "toxic" btw. I saw a lot of people talking about needing to have a life outside of the occult, and no one with a brain is gonna tell you that you don't need/get to have one. Discipline is not "I will eat/sleep/breathe this thing until it has comsumed my every waking moment" it is "Practicing this thing at least for an hour a day, or a few times a week will help me get better at it."

Practicing divination daily will help you improve your predictions, just like practicing the guitar every day will help you improve your finger technique. Discipline is required in any craft if you want to become proficient, whether you want to become a "master" or not. It's ok to dabble, but I'm not gonna go to someone who dabbles in painting for a portrait I actually want to show off.

And then the bit about not needing to push yourself to get better results. Like ... I don't understand why anyone would type that. At all. If you don't want results, why are you doing magic? Do you really not care about results, or are you just not getting them? And instead of actively trying to figure out where you're going wrong and improving your craft, you're just gonna talk down anyone who puts in the work to do better? Are you seriously negging people who enjoy practicing magic because you can't be bothered to? That whole post just made that person seem so sad, and then I saw all these other people in the comments agreeing

I'd like to make it clear, this is not putting down spoonies or chronically ill people. Of course, work within your own abilities. Someone with severe asthma shouldn't be trying to mountain climb without a good amount of training. But you CAN START TRAINING. You can work on your craft little bits at a time. You can do low energy magic and rework spells that include things you're allergic to. You can do research, or listen to podcasts in your downtime. Dedication to the craft might look different for different people. It doesn't mean you have to hyperfixate on it and let it consume your life. But you can't expect progress if you AREN'T PROGRESSING