#which is not what i think Essay was doing here but I'm still loosing my shit

[the-official-account]

Crimson: I'm not a seasoned podcaster like you all are Ila: I would argue that maybe only one of us is a seasoned podcaster Essay: Ironically it's one of the two white people [a pause of ten entire seconds, Crimson is heard wheezing]

[kookssin]

[1:58am] | park jimin

PLAY I WANNA BE YOURS BY THE ARCTIC MONKEYS

genre: established! relationship, fluff, smut, soft sex, love, affection, bathtub sex, physical touch, feels

wordcount: 2.1k

✩ !!note: requests for drabbles are open!!✩

it was late at night, 1:58am to be exact. you were laying in jimins bed, watching him as he sat on his desk, working on correcting an essay. he had told you an hour ago he would be done soon and join you in bed, but he was still working and refused to stop working. you were slowly growin impatient since you wanted to spend time with him.

you sighed and rolled off the bed, tiptoeing over to his desk where you pulled on the sleeve of his hoodie. "jimiiiin" you whined, making him hum in response, not looking up from what he was writing "it's been an hour, for how long do you want to continue working on that damn essays? you can just finish it tomorrow"

"an hour? oh shit" he widened his eyes as he looked at the clock on his phone "just a little bit longer baby, you can sleep if you want" he looked up at you, caressing the small of your back as you pouted. "i won't go to to sleep without you, plus i'm not tired yet" "okay, then just wait a little longer alright?" you huffed out, turning around and stomping back to bed. out of the corner of your eye you saw him look at you but turned around as soon as you were on his bed.

you laid on your back and looked at the ceiling, thinking about how you would get him to spend time with you. after a few minutes of thinking, you grinned to yourself, knowing how you would get jimin to spend time with you. you got up from the bed once again, but instead of walking to him, you took off your clothes, only leaving your white lacy undewear on, his favourite.

"babe, what are you doing" he murmured, looking at your figure with hooded eyes as he must've heard you taking off your clothes since he was turned around now. "i'll go and take a warm bath" you innocently smiled at him before walking across his room to the door that led you into his master bathroom, which you were glad at the moment he didn't share with one of the others.

you turned on warm water to fill the big bathtub, smiling to yourself as you lit the scented vanilla candles around the tub. you added some soap to create bubbles before you turned off the lights, the moonlight shining brightly into the big window next to the bathtub, a starry night.

you smiled as you heard jimin entering the bathroom, his arms wrapping around your waist as he pressed a tender kiss on your neck "you know this is my favourite one" he breathed against you neck, playing with the waistband of your panties, you nodded and bit your lip, holding back a smile "let's turn on some music, hm?" you nodded and let him go over to music box where he connected his phone. you grinned brightly as you heard the bass of the first song filling the bathroom. do i wanna know.

jimin knowingly smirked at you, placing his phone on the counter before he walked back to you, taking off his shirt in the meantime. the tub was still filling up with water as he wrapped his arms around your waist once again, facing you with a soft smile.

"i'm sorry that i took so long with work" he spoke softly, in loosing your bra and taking it off of you. "it's okay" you smiled at him, now you were the one playing with the waistband of his pants. he giggled at that, cupping your face and pulling you into a gentle kiss. you melted into his body, your hands wrapping around his wrists, down his forearm "let's get into the water" he mumbled against your lips, both of you quickly taking off your remaining clothes before you both went into the tub, turning off the water as you both let yourselves relax.

"come here" jimin made grabby hands in your direction, making you smile as you sat on his lap, chest to chest as his arms wrapped around your waist. you wrapped your arms around his neck, biting back a grin as you felt his half hard dick on the inside of your thigh. "what?" he smirked, pressing you harder down agaisnt his dick as he bit his lip. you giggled, falling against his chest as it vibrated under you. "cute" he mumbled, pecking your head before he tilted your chin upwards, connecting your lips into a passionate kiss.

you softly moaned into his mouth as he started massaging your breasts, your hips automatically grinding down on him "mhm, good girl" he spoke against your lip, gripping your waist a little harder, fully hard under you now as your wet slick folds rubbed up and down on him.

"ahh- jimin" you whimpered out, eyes shut as his length perfectly stimulated your clit. "what is it, angel?" he smirked, nipping at your jaw as your head was tilted back "are you gonna cum from just humping me?" he teased, giving your waist a firm squeeze as you nodded, whimpering out"please"

"go on then, cum for me when you're ready baby" he continued kissing your neck, he himself groaning as you moved up and down on him, precum leaking onto his tummy in the process, the water around you making some noises as it hit the walls. "i'm gonna cum" you whined, gripping his shoulders tightly as you moaned out his name, praised leaving his mouth as he held you in his arms, helping you riding out your high as your movements faltered a little.

"such a good girl" he murmured, kissing your lips passionately as you slowly came down from your high. your tongues were messily dancing with each other, the sound of no. 1 part anthem playing in the background. "wanna ride you minie" you breathed against his lips, earning a groan from him as you felt him twitch for a second. "you want to ride me?" he smirked, pulling away from the kiss to look you in the eyes with a cocky look on his face "then do it"

you bit your lip at that, lifting your self up a bit to wrap your fingers around his dick to align it with your entrance, earning a soft moan from him as you pumped his shaft a bit before sinking down on him. "mhmm" he hummed, letting his head fall back against the edge of the tub, eyes closed as you slowly let yourself down on him completely, a whimper escaping your mouth "you feel so good" he praised "keep going angel" his hands comfortingly caressing your sides and back up and down as you adjusted to his size.

after a few moments you were relaxed enough to move; your hands placed against his chest as you slowly began moving up and down on him "mhm~ just like that" he groaned as you rolled your hips against his, a loud moan escaping your mouth as his tip brushed your gspot. you started bouncing again, his dick finding your gspot everytime that you couldn't help but fall onto his chest, continuing your movements as good as you could as he chuckled breathlessly, easily helping you move up and down with his hands on your butt "feels good, doesn't it?" he firmly squeezed your butt, wanting you to answer as you only nodded your head in response, your fingers crawling into his skin as you heavily breathed "feels so g-good" you mumbled out, hoping it was enough for him and it was.

you walls clenched around him as you were nearing your second orgasm, he himself groaning deeply as he was close too. you went slack in his arms as he lifted your butt up and started pounding into you repeatedly, hitting the spongy spot inside you perfectly. "are you gonna cum for me again baby? hm?" he breathed right into your ear, the bathroom filled with the sounds of wet skin slapping, both your moans and the am album playing in the back ground "yes!" you moaned out, clenching around him tightly as you came undone "there you go" he groaned, spilling his cum right into you as he came seconds after you "thaaaats it"

you trembled in his arms from over stimulation as he came deep inside you, both of you moaning loudly.

"you feel incredible" he heavily breathed into your ear, holding you tightly onto him as you gasped for air, slowly but surely coming down from your high "my good little girl"

both of you stilled, heavily breathing as each of you calmed down. you were still laying on his chest when he made the move to pull out of you, but you stopped him before he could do that "stay in me" you mumbled, earning a soft and tried smile from him as he nodded "you did so good baby" he praised, kissing your forehead.

you looked out of the window, staring into the night sky and admiring the stars as you felt his steady heart beat under you, his hands caressing up and down your back as you softly played with his locks, each other's touch relaxing both of you.

you smiled and closed your eyes as you heard the next and last song on the album playing.

i wanna be yours.

I wanna be your vacuum cleaner

Breathing in your dust

I wanna be your Ford Cortina

I will never rust

If you like your coffee hot

Let me be your coffee pot

You call the shots, babe

I just wanna be yours

I wanna be your setting lotion

Hold your hair in deep devotion (I'll be)

At least as deep as the Pacific Ocean

Now I wanna be yours

Secrets I have held in my heart

Are harder to hide than I thought

Maybe I just wanna be yours

I wanna be yours

you turned your head to him as the melody came to an end, finding him already looking down at you with a gentle smile, his eyes shining in the moonlight. it felt magical as everything else was compelty quite, feeling as if just you and him were in the world. you were sure your heart was running a mile as he brought his hand up to tuck your probably completely messy hair behind your ear, his palm sliding down to caress your cheek.

"i love you jimin" you sincerely spoke, voice not louder than a whisper as you stared into his eyes, a smile of love and adoration on your face. "i love you" he whispered back, eyes shining with the same amount of love and adoration as yours.

you smiled even wider after that, leaning in for a chasteful kiss, putting all your love into it. both of you pulled away to look into each other eyes again, giggling as neither of you wanted to look away.

"we should head to bed" jimin softly spoke, caressing your head as you see already half asleep on his chest. "hm? o-oh yeah" you mumbled, sitting up to carefully let him slip out of you, some more of his cum dripping into the already dirty water in the process. he helped you clean yourself real quick and cleaned himself too before getting out of the tub and lifting you out of it too.

it was a comfortable silence as he opened the door to his room to let some light shine in, both of you wrapped in fluffy towels as he let the water out of the tub and you blew out the candles.

after both of you had put on some clothes, you were cuddled up against each other in his bed, the clock on. his nightstand showing 3:47 am.

"good night baby" he whispered, kissing your forehead as you were already drifting into a deep and calm sleep in his hands, happy

✩!!as already mentioned in the top, feel free to leave requests for drabbles in my inbox!!✩

©kookssin 2023

[hazbin-but-good]

another hazbin hotel rewrite/redesign?

yup! and i'm so serious about it that i made a whole blog for it. i'm a white queer ex-cath tran doing this as an art and writing exercise, so feedback from other creatives + jewish and/or racialized folks is especially welcome.

i'm putting this post and only this post in the main tags for visibility. also, not gonna link my main, but i do make my own original stuff, and i encourage fans and haters alike to do the same.

anyway, here's a mostly good-faith 1.7k-word essay on the original. i think it's pretty funny and brings up some less talked-about points. correct me on the facts, disagree with my opinions, and ask clarifying questions, but don't come at me with any piss-poor reading comprehension.

the hellaverse is garbage, and here's why

cw: strong language, stronger opinions, intersectional feminist critical discourse analysis

1. vivienne medrano, the person

medrano was born as a well-off white-passing latina (salvadoran-american) in bougieass frederick, maryland. while attending new york's top art school, she got popular on deviantart-tumblr-twitter by being a prolific multifandom fujoshi furry who's more into ornamental character design than storytelling. upon graduation, she leveraged her fanbase and industry connections to make the hazbin and helluva boss pilots, get helluva made for youtube, and get hazbin made for amazon prime.

like every woman online, she gets harassed for no good reason, and as a certified autist, i will defend her right to be dumb, weird, annoying, and bad with words. however, there are legit reasons to criticize her:

racism, misogyny, homophobia, fatphobia, some antisemitism, past transphobia, past ableism

shitty boss, bad friend

cowardly, vindictive, manipulative, thoughtless behavior

skeevy friends

sucks at taking criticism

in short, i think she desperately needs a PR person and someone to clean up her digital footprint.

2. medrano's art

incurious

inauthentic

noncommittal

creatively stagnant

overindulgent, and the indulgence isn't even fun

shallow and childish framed as complex and mature

bland and boring framed as shocking and subversive

to be clear, i'm at peace with the existence of suckass art like this; i just think the money, attention, and praise it gets are unearned and should go to more interesting works, of which there are infinite.

medrano's had the time, money, and social cache to grow as an artist, learn from the best, and take creative risks, but she hasn't. if she truly has nothing more to offer, she should let her collaborators take the wheel, but she doesn't do that either. instead, she keeps getting more and more resources to make the same baby bullshit, and that pisses me off. she could be the nicest person ever, and this fundamental arrogance would still make her art blow.

stop with the pointless guilt: liking medrano's work does not make you stupid or evil. however, if you stay in the kiddie pool of culture, if you refuse to engage with a diversity of art, if the hellaverse is your point of reference for anything media-related, you can't expect to have your opinions on art, media, or culture taken seriously. you have not earned a seat at the table. you gotta hit the books first.

i cannot emphasize enough how much incredible stuff is out there if you're willing to look further than what social media and streaming services put right in front of you. if you come away from this blog having learned about just one new artist or piece of art, i'll be a happy camper.

3. the hellaverse

a. empty and confused

hazbin and helluva's content and marketing has no clear target audience. the subjects are inappropiate for teens, but the execution is too childish for adults, and lemme tell you what i don't mean by that, first.

not inherently inappropriate for teens:

sex and sexuality

violence, including when it intersects with the above

politics and religion

not inherently childish:

animation (any style)

comedy

episodic writing and/or loose continuity

young characters

fun, happiness, optimism, the power of friendship, cuteness, tenderness, sincerity, etc.

what i mean is that these shows are literally about adult characters who fuck, smoke, drink, do drugs, go clubbing, work full-time, manage their own finances, and deal with stuff like bureaucracy, sexual violence, domestic abuse, marriage, divorce, late adoption, and family estrangement.

however, none of these "adult" things are given enough specificity to create drama or comedy. it's all too stock, vague, flat, weirdly sanitized, and thus utterly banal—pure aesthetics on top of bad saturday morning cartoons. it's exactly what i'd expect from a sheltered disney kid who needs to log off and get into their local gay scene ASAP so their only contact with things like poverty, policing, addiction, and sex work stops being facile movies and TV.

if the shows were aware of this and played with it, that could be amazing, but they're not. they give you the mickey mouse version of the world with a straight face and then play looney tunes sound effects to try to make you laugh and sad_violin.mp3 to try to make you cry. now that's funny.

b. old and tired

let's make like americans and pretend that the rest of the world doesn't exist. even within the confines of the USA, home of the hays code, the red scare, and reaganite propaganda, this neopuritan fascist state ruled by 1000 megachurches in a trenchcoat, the indie/underground animation scene has been doing crazier shit for decades. anti-war films in the 60's, bakshi movies in the 70's, the simpsons shorts and r-rated movies in the 80's, adult swim and MTV in the 90's, flash/newgrounds/youtube in the 00's, streaming in the 2010's—so what are we doing in the 2020's with this wet white rice drowned in expired ketchup? i feel crazy making this point because it's obvious if you've watched these things, but if you haven't, you're gonna be like "well, there's gotta be something new here". no! there isn't! in the words of jimmy "the scot" jordan, nothing, nothing, NOTHING!

c. ideological purgatory

actually, there is one thing in these shows i've never seen before: the presbysterianism. shout out some interesting or at least intentional presbysterian art in the comments, because the way these ideas are presented here is not compelling. it just makes the rainbow neoliberalism even more confusing and contradictory.

i guess the big presbysterian things are protestanism, calvinism, and, uh, big church government? presbysterians, get your shit together. get your brand down. catholics have BDSM and vampires, evangelicals have TV and corporatism; what do you have? celtic crosses? no wonder medrano has such uninspired ideas on divinity.

d. queer deficiency

when i look at a piece of art, i ask myself: "what does this give me that i can't get from the hunchback of notre dame (1996)?" if the answer is as limp as "uhh, gay people, i guess", i can probably look for my gay shit elsewhere and rewatch the hunchback of notre dame (1996) in the meantime.

but let's say that you have no standards. you've been waiting for ages for a show about gays by the gays for the gays, and by god you're gonna get it. this is it! here we go! time for some

generic twink obliteration

male sexuality as aggression and dominance displays

WLW (sex and chemistry not included)

a couple straight femdoms

and the stalest sex jokes known to man

...yeah, it's not very queer. and by "queer", i mean "questioning or subverting gender norms (including sexual roles) within a given cultural context regardless of creator identity and intent". i'm not a queer studies scholar so LMK if there's a more specific term for this, but whatever you call it, it's not in the hellaverse much.

there's not even any transness, literal or metaphorical, just ancient drag jokes. i guess the writers thought we would've been too controversial. so much for an indie animation studio that prides itself in the diversity of its staff both above and below the line, bakshi-style. i wonder how medrano, a bisexual woman, would've felt if told that a lesbian main couple in hazbin would be "too controversial".

4. spindlehorse and the vivziepop brand

spindlehorse toons underpays its overworked staff and keeps outsourcing more and more labor to even more overworked freelancers overseas to cut costs. a rainbow sweatshop is still a sweatshop, and just because these practices may be "industry standard" doesn't make them any more ethical.

the studio has also been repeatedly accused by current and former employees and contractors of creating a hostile and abusive workplace. AFAIK, it still has no dedicated HR person, and victims are too afraid of retaliation like blacklisting and online harassment to speak out.

this is exactly the stuff that unions exist to prevent. as i'm writing this, the IATSE (the parent union of TAG, which is the parent union of all US animation unions) is negotiating with entertainment industry executives for better working conditions, and if the execs fuck around like last year, it's strike time again. so watch this space, voice your support, and don't cross any picket lines.

i hope spindlehorse unionizes, but until then and for these reasons, i don't think you should give money to the company.

first of all, all content on amazon-owned platforms is ok to pirate, and all youtube ads are ok to block. everyone involved in making the episodes has (or should have) been paid upfront, so you're not taking the bread out of anyone's mouth.

next, let's look at the succulent offerings of the official vivziepop merch shop:

$10 pins and keychains

$15 sticker packs

$20 mugs and acrylic cutouts

$25 shirts

$30 metal cards (not even tarot)

$40 lounge pants

$50 mini backpacks

random $80 skateboard deck

forgive my latin americanness, but this is all stuff you can get made by a local metalsmith, print/sublimation shop, or just crafty people in your life. it's cheaper, customizable, and better for the environment to skip all the shipping and packaging. also, not painting your own skateboard is poser shit.

the hazbin website also has $15 pins, one $20 keychain, and $6 trading card packs. people are weird about trading cards, so if for some reason you wanna gamble for a mass-produced bit of cardboard, plastic, and tinfoil, at least bulk-order for all the vivziepoppers in your area so it's less of a huge waste. better yet, trace the designs and make infinite bootlegs.

at the end of the day, buying merch is not activism. your bulk order of trading cards will not save any wage slaves from getting evicted from their overpriced studio apartments. however, the shop links you to all the credited artists/designers, and more of your bucks will actually reach them if you buy their designs directly, then turn them into body pillows or life-sized bronze statues or whatever the fuck.

go through the credits of any episode of helluva or hazbin, and you'll find even more creatives you might wanna support. get jinkx monsoon's albums on CD. subscribe to actually good artist, animator, and composer gooseworx. lots of voice actors now have patreon, cameo, or self-hosted pages where you can write better lines for their characters and have them read it. these things may not look as shiny as Official Merch™, but we all need less plastic shit and more culture anyway.

[hjparisian]

maroon- harry j potter x reader

loosely based on a lyric from maroon by taylor swift. uses she/her pronouns. reader is not a gryffindor (i know, im sorry fellow gryffindors). bit of a long one whoopsies

"the burgundy on my t-shirt when you splashed your wine into me and how the blood rushed into my cheeks, so scarlet, it was maroon"

It was common knowledge that every time the Gryffindors win a quidditch game, it is follow by a raging party, courtesy of the Weasley twins. Everyone is allowed to come (aside from the Slytherins, but they still manage to sneak their way in).

Despite being friends (and study buddies) with Hermione, (Y/N) never really experience a full on rager in the Gryffindor common room, instead perusing the library for books to help with some essay in potions, until one day.

"Come on (Y/N), just come, just this once," Hermione said. "I can't always be with Ron and Harry. Plus you've never been, after all this time of being my friend."

"I don't know Hermione, I wanted to study for History of Magic. You know how much I struggle in it"

"I know, but you can do it tomorrow! Please, it would be nice to not constantly listen to Ron and Harry talk about the quidditch game for once and to hang out with you outside of the library," Hermione begged.

(Y/N) remained silent for a second. Thinking. It would be nice to hang loose and let the thought of school leave her mind. And Hermione is right, she can always study tomorrow, especially since she already completed her work.

"Alright Hermione, I'll go," she said at last. Hermione let out a grin. "Oh thank you, thank you!" Hermione said. "I gotta go, but I'll see you there (Y/N)."

Towards the evening, (Y/N) stopped in front of the Gryffindor common room. "Password?" the Fat Lady asked.

"Baubles." The portrait swung open and (Y/N) stepped inside, seeing the shift from the silent corridor to the loud and wild atmosphere of the common room. There was people from all different houses having a good time, from people chilling on the couch with firewhiskey on hand to those dance to the beat of the music and letting loose.

(Y/N) quickly finds Hermione on a couch towards the back of the room. "You made it! Thank goodness I thought you were gonna ditch," said Hermione. "Anything for my favorite Gryffindor."

Ron joins in with three red cups, handing two to Hermione and (Y/N). The two stared at the cups, not knowing what it was. Ron answers them, "It's not poison, it's butterbeer mixed with firewhiskey. Fred made them." "Are you sure we should trust anything made by Fred or George?" (Y/N) jokingly says while taking a sip of the drink. "Maybe you're right, but I'll take my chances tonight," Ron said before downing his cup.

(Y/N) spotted some of her house friends waving her over to come dance. She turns to Hermione, asking if she wanted to come dance with her to which she replied "It's alright, I think I'll just stay here with Ron." (Y/N) nods, not willing to force Hermione to join (also letting her have alone time with Ron), and walks towards the crowd of dancing wizards.

One of (Y/N)'s friends takes her hand and starts dancing with her, the two of them laughing at their awkward attempts of dancing. After a while, (Y/N) decides to get another drink to fill her system. She walks up to where Fred was handling the drinks. "Hey Fred, can you give me something good?" Fred chuckled. "First Gryffindor party I've seen you at and you already want to get wasted. But of course, anything for you." He hands you a cup filled firewhiskey. "Thanks Freddie, you're the best."

As (Y/N) turns around with the drink in her hand, she bumps into someone, spilling both her drink and the person's drink on her. She felt her face heating up and looked up ready to yell at the person until she noticed a certain green eyed boy who appear red in the face from embaressment. Who would've thought she would've bumped into Harry?

"I'm- I'm so sorry (Y/N), I didn't mean to bump into you. I should've been looking, I-" (Y/N) cuts him off. "It's fine Harry, I know you didn't mean to. But now my shirt is wet." She was a little upset at the fact she spilled her drink and was wet but she knew Harry wouldn't do that on purpose.

"I can let you borrow one of my sweaters," Harry said. "It's the least I could do after drenching you in butterbeer." (Y/N) thought about it for a second before agreeing, wanting to get out of her soaked shirt. "Alright, since you owe me. Now lead the way."

As Harry led (Y/N) to his dorm, she couldn't help but stare at him. She'd be lying if she said she didn't think he was attractive, cause he certainly was. She always loved how bright and green his eyes looked. And the way he looked when playing quidditch was a wonderful sight. She had a minor crush on him back in second year but since she never acted on it, the feelings went away, though the butterflies in her stomach right now are saying otherwise. Or maybe it was the alcohol. Yeah, let's say it's the alcohol.

Her thoughts are disrupted when they stopped at a door, a plaque on it saying who occupies it, "Seamus Finnegan, Neville Longbottom, Harry Potter, Dean Thomas, Ron Weasley." Harry opens the door and walks inside, holding it open for (Y/N). She takes her time looking at the room, it looked much different compared to her dorm. In that time she took to gawk at the room, Harry managed to pull a sweater from his trunk.

It was one of his quidditch sweaters. "Here, I hope you don't mind red and yellow." (Y/N) takes it and looks at it. "Thank you Harry but, um-" She starts. "Do you mind turning around for a minute? So I can change." She swore she could see Harry's face start flushing as he spoke, "Oh, uh, er yeah." He turns around giving (Y/N) some sort of privacy while she changes.

"You know, I didn't think you'd be at this party," Harry says. "I've been kinda hoping to see you." (Y/N) freezes for a second. Harry's been wanting to see her? It must be her mind playing tricks. She responds, "Hermione sort of made me. I wasn't really planning on it." She hears Harry hums in response. She continues, "I don't really regret it though. It was kind of nice to have some fun. Saw some of my housemates here."

There was a brief silence between the two before Harry spoke again. "I've always wanted to talk to you (Y/N). Hermione talks about you a lot, did you know that?" She did? (Y/N) wondered. "She talks about how wonderful you are and how you get her. She was happy to find someone that actually read Hogwarts: A History." (Y/N) chuckles a bit. Classic Hermione.

(Y/N) fixes Harry's sweater on her body and clears her throat before speaking, "Well, um, you can turn around now." She watches Harry turn around and sees his eye go wide slightly.

"How do I look?" She asks him. "Brilliant," He breathes out. "You always look brilliant." (Y/N) could feel her face heat up at his words. How is it that Harry could make her feel like this with just a few words?

(Y/N) decides to bite the bullet. If there was anytime to take a chance it would be now. "Can I ask you something?" He nods. "Can I kiss you?" She was scared for his answer. If he rejects her, she hopes that the firewhiskey in her system would let her forget about that moment in the morning. Harry finally answers. "Yes."

They both lean forward, letting their lips touch each other. (Y/N) felt Harry gently grab her waist, she lets her hands hold his shoulders. It felt like dream. Now, if you told second year (Y/N) that she would be kissing Harry Potter in the future, she'd laugh in your face saying it would never happen. Well, take that younger (Y/N).

They parted each others lips, needing air. They took the time to admire each other, how wonderful they looked. "You know, I've always thought you were attractive Harry," (Y/N) said. "And I've admired how you'd do anything for your friends. You're an amazing and courageous person. I like that about you. And I like you Harry."

Harry grinned. "I like you too (Y/N). I've always have." He leans forward to give (Y/N) another brief kiss.

"Can we just stay here? I'm too tired to go back to the party." (Y/N) asked. Harry nods, agreeing with her, also wanting to enjoy this time with her. They lay on Harry's bed, Harry holding her close to him. He kisses her forehead before falling asleep with her.

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

you’ve been soo inactive lately. r u okay? 😭

tl;dr: I'm not dead.

I have been busy, yes, and also I realized I needed to take time away from the blog to think about things. I care a lot about writing, I care about my relationship to writing, and I care a lot about BTS as human beings with real feelings who are well aware of what people are writing on the internet. It's pretty clear when fanfiction reduces them to cheap thrills, and I'm not about that. Don't think you all want that from me either. I'm also not one to pursue numbers or perceived notoriety.

I've taken a pause in posting for various reasons. One of many was that I wanted to crave again. It might not seem like it, but fanfiction is creatively limiting, which can be both a good and bad thing. Could detail my perspective on fanfiction into a whole essay lol but I'll spare you. I'll just add that sometimes I need to force myself to stop doing something so that I can have to chance to reflect and think about it without being in it.

I mean, I'm sure if you've been here any length of time, you've probably figured out I've got more than a few screws loose. Hey, to everyone else, I'm high-functioning so nobody needs to know specifics. The list is probably longer than I'd like to admit. XD I rarely mention or associate myself with labels since I don't think it's healthy for me or you. I'm not trying to be an example or martyr. I'm just very eccentric.

Unfortunately.

(lol)

I'm not gonna say I'm doing the right thing (who knows what the right thing is, anyway?) but I don't want to half-ass anything. I don't know if anyone will be waiting when I post again, not because I think people don't care, rather that I know it's the nature of the world to more along quickly. Still, when you run for a very long time, you need to stop sometimes otherwise you end up collapsing in a heap, unable to go on and wishing you never started the race to begin with. I don't like accepting that, but I also know it's true... annnnnnnd that's so Jungkook and Yoongi-coded at the same time... fuck.

[punisheddonjuan]

Over the last week I've been back in my hometown of Hamilton staying at my parents' house and sleeping in my old bedroom. I had that optometrist appointment earlier in the week, it's Easter on Sunday, and I need to order my prescription at the pharmacy here on Monday anyway. So, an extended visit was an obvious choice. It's been nice. This afternoon I did a little dig through my closet after my mom mentioned that she would like to clear out anything in there which I wasn't keen on keeping. So I took a look, and while there was definitely stuff in there I am fine getting rid of, and in many cases can't remember why I hung onto it for as long as I did, there was also a bunch of neat old stuff in there.

Everything in that closet is thrown into a few banker's boxes, I wasn't quite sure what was in each of them. The first box I dove into turned out to contain all of my university coursework, all five years of it, and much of it disorganized and in disarray. I must have just thrown things in there, because there were loose sheets of translation work interleaved out of order, folders stuffed to breaking with photocopied journal articles and book chapters from different courses, syllabi and unrelated essays in messy piles, and various notebooks, loose notes and revisions. Organizing it all is not a task I'm up doing any time soon, and part of me doubts that I'll ever get it done, it's hardly important anymore. Surveying it all made me think on what a shame it is that I never have any occasion or reason to write things out by hand. I miss using my fountain pens, and my cursive was really quite nice.

I also found my official transcript, of which I have seven copies for reasons that have been lost to time. Presumably I ordered more copies because of grad school applications, but I can't remember.

I guess I did pretty well. And even though grades don't matter at all after you graduate, I did have to do a double take and think back for a minute trying to remember how the hell I managed to bomb Beginner's Ancient Greek II winding up with a C after getting an A in Beginner's Ancient Greek I (and then back to getting As after that). The memory did eventually resurface; I had deferred the exam on account of illness, but when it came time to write the exam in the summer, I wound up running a fever anyway, and on top of that, I was writing it a little over a week after my girlfriend had broken up with me. To be entirely honest, that summer and back half of the year is something of a blur. Welp, oh well.

Oh and hey, in one of those messy piles I found the paper for which I won a departmental essay contest and then third place in the national CAC undergraduate essay writing contest.

The professor's comments were far too kind. It's an okay paper for an undergraduate, I'd change a lot of things looking back at it now. I wonder what Dr. Corner is up to these days and if he finally finished his book. We had lunch together when I first moved to Toronto but that was years ago now. He was the professor I was closest to, a real mentor.

Buried behind the coursework box was another banker's box containing something entirely unrelated but very cool, these:

It's my old iPods! The 30GB iPod Video is completely dead, but the 160GB iPod Classic booted after I found a cable and gave it a quick charge. The headphone jack is busted, if I recall correctly, I had already paid to get it fixed once, and then it died a few months later. By that point I was fed up with having it fixed, and replaced it with an iBasso DX80. The electronics in it are still functioning fine; I might give a go at modding it into something I could put to use. Modding iPod classics is a whole scene these days and you can buy custom DIY replacement parts like microSD card readers to replace the harddrive, and there's custom firmware that allows the iPod to support higher capacity storage. Modding it shouldn't be too difficult and wouldn't even require much soldering. I'd replace the headphone jack, pull the 160GB HDD and replace it with a dual or quad microSD card reader and cram as many 512GB/1TB microSD cards it can take, and replace the battery with a higher capacity one. I stream my music collection from my media server to my phone via PlexAmp these days, but it would be cool to have an offline option, or something I can just leave permanently plugged into the Aux port of my stereo. My dad says he's got a 120GB model that half works floating around too, maybe I'll mod both of them.

There were a few other neat things in that second box like playbills from when I used to attend the opera. Which is yet another thing I used to be able to do and now miss terribly. That double feature of Bluebeard and Erwartung was phenomenal.

There was also a copy from one of the godawful and glossy annual "All About Sex" supplements the University newspaper published. I won't share pictures of that because there are a lot of half-naked semi acquaintances in there, but be assured, it's godawful.

In a third box I found approximately half of my physical PC game collection:

Check out that copy of X-Wing on 3.5" floppies and the sticker advising Windows and Pentium users that this is a DOS game. That's the very first PC game I ever got as a kid, received it as a present for Christmas '95. What you see there is less than half of what I know for a fact that I own on CD-ROM. Just off the top of my head I know I have physical copies of Half-Life, Red Alert 2, Tiberian Sun, Dune 2000, Emperor: Battle for Dune, Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri, Sid Meier's Civilization, Total Annihilation, Unreal Tournament, Star Wars Dark Forces II: Jedi Knight, Mechwarrior 4, Star Trek: Bridge Commander, Doom 3, Medal of Honor: Allied Assault, Thief 2: the Metal Age, Deus Ex and most of those games' attendant expansion packs. I didn't find any of them while clearing out the closet, which means that they're almost definitely up in the attic above the garage, along with the sci-fi and fantasy novels I had from adolescence which I didn't take with me when I moved. Getting up into that attic is a pain in the ass though, and it's cramped and stuffy once you're up there. Maybe next time I visit my parents I can put aside a day to go up there and locate everything. I'd really have to be feeling up to it though. I'm pretty sure my hardback copy of Good Omens is up there, as is my copy of Neuromancer, and the Black Company omnibuses. None of which I've read in years.

The only other things of note were a bunch of pewter figurines of wizards I had for unknown reasons and a few nice and largely unused (with the exception of a few pages that I must have torn out years ago) notebooks that I can put to good use.

Actually, I just figured out the reason I owned these and hung onto them. It's because they're rad as hell. Wizards rule.

[itsjustelian]

Has anyone else noticed that all of the ADA's enemy organizations lack a sense of unity? I was thinking about it last night, and only the ADA has members that all want the same end goal.

In this essay, I will... Just read under the cut, idk.

Organization by organization, I'll explain what I mean.

Armed Detective Agency:

Fukuzawa: Founded the Agency as a place to help Ranpo use his ability to save people

Ranpo: While only wanting to use his hyper-intelligence when it suits him, he'll also only use it if the end goal is helping people

Yosano: Wants a place in the world where nobody will use her ability as a weapon against other people. Also, has been spending all of her time in the ADA helping people.

Kunikida: Will live and die for his ideals, many of which revolve around helping people.

Dazai: Despite whatever ulterior motives the man has, his main reason for joining the agency was Oda telling him to "Be a good man and save people."

Tanizaki: He's a loose cannon right now, but for the sake of my argument he's doing it all to help his sister. That or he's the only exception because he's definitely going to join the Mafia.

Kenji: Can do no wrong and I don't think the kid has an 'I actively want to hurt people' bone in his body. Also, he helps people around Yokohama and they all like him. So, yeah he falls under our wants to help people category.

Atsushi: Wants to prove he's worthy of being alive by saving people.

Kyouka: After being stuck in the Mafia she's chosen to use her ability and skills to help people while working in The Agency.

Apologies for sounding like a broken record for that entire section. It gets more interesting I swear.

Port Mafia:

Mori: While he clearly cares about Yokohama as a place (made clear by his actions during The Guild arc) he also seems to be running the mafia for the power and safety (?) it brings him.

Chuuya: I could go on for a whole post on why Chuuya is still with the Mafia. But that's not what this post is about. In Stormbringer Chuuya finds his answer to the whole 'Am I human?" argument. So that can't be his main driving force. I think his main reason for doing what he's doing is that Chuuya is a social person. He enjoys having people around whom he can trust and who trust him. But, he also knows he doesn't want to be a leader, so an executive of the mafia is a safe and comfortable position for him. (He and Sigma would get along great with their whole desire for a home thing.)

Akutagawa: Is pretty clear, while loyal to the mafia his driving force is proving to Dazai that he's worth something, that he's grown stronger. Although now that he's gotten that I wonder what his main driving force (aside from fucking Atsushi up) is.

Tachihara: He's being put in the Mafia category because it's where he wants to be. Aside from being a double agent and all that Tachihara's driving force was getting revenge for his brother and the orders he was given. Even saying that "Orders make me who I am."

Kajii: I am almost 100% sure he only joined the mafia because they let him blow shit up with no repercussions.

I'm not doing every PM ability user, I'd be here for the rest of my life, so take these few.

The Guild:

Fitzgerald: Is looking for the book to bring his dead daughter back to life and save his wife.

Margaret: Trying to make money to restore her family's honor.

Steinbeck: Making money to send home to his family.

Twain: Wants an adventure (?) He went to write a book about it so I'm assuming that's what happened.

Lucy: Looking for a place where she'll be appreciated and seen as useful (Gods, why do so many people in this story just want a home.)

Lovecraft: Is only with The Guild because of a contract.

Herman: Loyalty to what The Guild was? Love for the Moby Dick?

Poe: Only joined because it meant he would get to see Ranpo again (we know what you are).

The Hunting Dogs:

Fukuchi: Is trying to dismantle the state and 'dethrone the angels'. And I'm pretty sure his reasoning is that the state is the only reason war happens, so if he removes the state war can't happen anymore. (nobody tell this man about civil wars he'd have to wipe out all life on earth.)

Teruko: Follows Fukuchi? I haven't analyzed her enough to know what her goals are, sorry.

Tecchou: Strives for justice in the world and puts it above everything else (except for Jouno in those five minutes.)

Jouno: Enjoys tormenting people and seeing them squirm but also wants to help the innocent and finds joy in that. (Gods Jouno, pick a side when you come back, okay? I had to open the Manga to figure you out.)

The Decay Of Angels:

Fyodor: Wants to destroy all ability users and cleanse the world of sin.

Gogol: Wishes to be free from the shackles of society's morals and is at the moment attempting to kill Fyodor to prove that point.

Sigma: They just want a home, somewhere to belong that can't be taken away from them. (Can Sigma get a happy ending, please? I love him very much.)

Bram: God only knows the man wants to sleep with his Spotify on and relax for once.

---

It's just fun that only the Agency has members that all want the same thing. Especially with some of the organizations having members that directly contradict each other. Gogol attempting to kill Fyodor. Bram actively not wanting to use his ability. Tecchou striving for justice that Fukuchi is actively destroying.

Maybe that's why everyone keeps losing to The Agency, they lack the unity that the ADA has. Or maybe I'm grasping at straws and this is dumb.

[best-kirby-character-tournament]

Ok, to preface

this spawned from the Kirby movie poll and was way too long to be a reply so I'm putting it here. It's very long, you can ignore this if you want, I just had to put this somewhere and I figured as a fellow Kirby fan you might enjoy my crazed ranting.

My original comment:

Imo crystal shards would make for the best adaption because it hits all the right notes that could make good movie:

-squad of loveable and dynamic characters

-premise with a clear goal

-iconic locations

-incredible final boss

-ending without any loose ends

Return to Dreamland (for a movie adaptation) is iffy because I can't imagine any voice for Magolor that doesn't sound absolutely cursed, and I feel like the ending doesn't work as well in a movie format...

(And that's where the original comment ended. I then proceeded to go completely off the rails and wrote like a whole essay on a random concept that will never happen)

(Spoilers for Return to Dreamland Deluxe below)

...UNLESS- hear me out- what if they adapted the bad ending from the True Arena. Not only could this be done in such a way that it is interesting for people who already know the story, but people who don't know the story already or don't pick up on the whole possession aspect still get a conclusion. To them it would feel like an epic battle and though they might question why it feels sad/desperate or why it seems like it's not a true victory, there isn't the same feeling of "where did magolor get yeeted to". (I mean there is- but like, not in the same vein, they could even make the portal at the end more subtle if they wanted) Also just imagine being at the climax of the movie as a kirby fan and all the sudden you notice something is different.. familiar.. and then BOOM Magolor Soul. Perhaps the Magolor battle happens like normal but then once the characters beat the regular boss fight instead of ending it transitions to the eyeless phase of Magolor Soul. I'm not sure exactly how it would work out pacing wise. I also have no idea how they would choose to write the ending, but this leaves room for them to write an ending that is slightly different. Plus it could end on a bittersweet tone (which is like, my personal favorite type of ending.)

I think as a representation of the Kirby franchise this would actually work really well because you have a lot of staples of the modern Kirby games

-the dream quartet/dream team entirely present (something that crystal shards would be missing)

-A story with a relatively tame beginning that ramps up a whole lot towards the end

-Dreamland/Popstar as a primary setting (not necessarily a staple of modern Kirby but important for getting the audience to care about the world Kirby & co. are protecting especially if it's the first Kirby movie)

-A soul boss

-Another Dimension

-Mentions of the ancients

-A tragedy (I mean we've gotten a few happy endings but there is still tragedy that occurs along the way)

-A what if/alternate universe scenario

Finally, and this is the last point I swear! Doing this would clearly set the movie in an alternate timeline that can't interfere with the canon of the games. Which would make the movie a lot more enjoyable as a fan because even if it's "canon" it's not in the same timeline/universe. Much like the "what if" modes it can provide more context/substance to the main story without ever taking place in the main universe.

Anyways, that's it. Thank you for coming to my TED talk

Context: The Kirby Movie Poll

Anon this is so cool!! :0 /pos

Mod is obsessing over this- thank you for sharing this with them! :D /pos

[yellowocaballero]

related to the previous ask you answered, if you’re up for it - incredibly curious about how you research stuff for your writing. I feel like you’re so good at capturing all these little details of a life with such humour that I’m always going ‘how is yellow meg caballero not x identity’ (which is obviously not true & just the sign of a good writer, etc etc but still). Are you just out here talking to five million different types of people?? And understanding them??

Yes hello hi <3 <-- catching up on ask

I really do have the awful habit of swerving dramatically out of my lane and talking about shit I have no business talking about. I don't even do a lot of research, or at least not as much research as I should. I'm genuinely a terrible person to emulate here. But as for like how it tends to happen.

One half of it is. Patrick Stewart voice Writing fiction.

jaklsjdflksadf the other half is like...yeah, I talk to a lot of people. I like people a lot. I find everybody really interesting, and even if I don't like somebody then it's still interesting to have learned about a new kind of person. Over the internet especially is so much fun - everybody has at least one thing super interesting about them! Everybody has a unique trait or has had an experience totally unfamiliar to me. I also just really have an eclectic knowledge of a shitton of extremely useless stuff, I watch a lot of random-ass YouTube essays, all of it. Baby I got information even I don't care about for days lol.

Some of my characters are based lowkey off people I know. Sometimes they're based off me at different points in my lives, or the kind of person I used to think I was. I think most often they fit into a category of people I've met in my life - for example, for an OC I'm writing right now, she's based off this type of person I know. And in there I look for what I always liked about those people, what I always related to about those people, and how I always interacted with them. They're often kinds of people I don't even necessarily like. You never really want to do "well im writing [marginalized group] so I'll just make them [friend from marginalized group]", but for me once I meet and talk to enough people from that group kind of the experience and perspective that being in that group gives you emerges. The 'why' of the experience stands out, and you can go deep into that.

All that said, I look for the similarities instead of the differences. My MK stuff isn't about being a system (cuz not that.), it's about having a highly stigmatized mental illness, and somebody's relationship with their identity as a mentally ill person, which is something I can understand. Lots of my SW stuff was about...existential dread, lol. I do just know a fuckton of neurodivergent and trans and etc people. And I think we do just project - I'll interpret a character as having my experiences instead of another's, because I'm SUPER loose with characterizations lol. But yeah I'm just constantly talking to people about their experiences and if you do that enough then a bigger, more relatable experience emerges lol. Everybody knows that there's really only like five emotions.

That being said I made a joke in a recent Moon Knight fic about how baby Marc liked baby Steven at first just because he would wake up and his bed would randomly be made. And my sys friend was like "HOW did you know about chore ghost??". So. Lucky accident a lot of the time I think. Thanks for the Q though, I'm happy I succeed at this!

[eddieheart]

CORNEAS AND CONCUSSIONS

Fandom: Prodigal Son

Pairings: Malcolm x OC

Words: 970

Description: Malcolm brings Mary to a crime scene.

PART 1: dirks-and-daggars

Mary brushed her shirt down, trying to look more professional, it was hard considering she was wearing an AC/DC t shirt and jeans. Malcolm had invited her to the precinct to go over the cannibal case, things were going swimmingly until a cough had startled them.

The voice belonged to a tall, intimidating, dark haired man. The man beside her had jumped ever so slightly and straightening his posture.

"Gil! I didn't think you'd be in this early." Malcolm asked.

The man, Gil, stared back quizzically with a quirked brow, staring at the pair in question.

"Yeah, we got a call about a DOA possibly relating to the cannibal case. Figured I'd come get you. Who's this." He asked gesturing to Mary.

"Oh! Gill Arroyo meat Mary, Mary meet Detective Gil Arroyo." Malcolm said with a smile. With an awkward grin she waved toward the man.

"Pleasure to meet you Detective." She stuck out a hand for the man to shake, one he ignored. Glaring towards the younger man he spoke.

"Bright, is there a reason you’re letting a random unauthorized civilian in on a murder investigation?" Malcolm’s brows raised as he search for an answer, Mary interrupted.

"No random actually, almost a dr... technically. I study anthropology and in doing so I became a, sort of expert in endocannibalism. Which directly relates to the case. Speaking of which, I'd love to see the body, to- for the case not for- yeah." Trailing off at the end of her sentence, Mary stood there awkwardly under the older man's gaze.

"Perfect idea! You'll be able to understand the killer and their methods better if you can actually see the scene." He grabbed her hand and pulled her down the hallway and out the door.

Gil sighed as Malcolm dragged the stranger along for the ride. Under normal circumstances  he'd never allow this to happen, but with a cannibalistic murderer on the loose all bets were off.

The pair walked in timidly, JT and Dani giving them side eye as a Bright dragged a stranger inside. She slowly approached the body, eyebrows wrinkling as she examined the scene. Her eyes widened as she noticed someone in a large plastic suit.

"Oh my goodness I completely forgot, I'm so sorry. Have CSI's examined the scene yet I don't want to disturb evidence." She asked the stranger timidly.

"Oh! Yes they have. That's why I'm here. Thank you for asking by the way. Oh, I'm-." Mary stared at the woman in shock unintentionally interrupting the woman.

"Chief medical examiner, Tanaka. It's a pleasure to meet you, I've studied your work. Your like Michelangelo with formaldehyde," a soft 'I told you so' was spoken behind her. "I mean those y-incisions look like a hot knife through butter." She stuck a hand out but pulled it back quickly.

"Sorry, gloves right. Mary, I'm an anthropology student, I've done essays and research on you and your cases." Mary smiled timidly.

"Oh! You’re too kind. What are you doing here if you don't mind my asking?" The doctor asked sweetly, glancing between the woman and the corpse as she spoke.

"Oh I'm-." The young girl was quickly interrupted.

"I brought her, I thought we could use some help on the case." Malcolm replied.

"I'm his pseudo-expert on Endocannibalism." She laughed softly, the Dr. chuckled as well.

Mary's body tilted to the side, she walked closer to the large hard wood table glancing between it and the fireplace. Turning back to the others she spoke.

"I think this was personal, at least to the killer. See in the other killing it was just the gallbladder found in the fireplace, this time the brain is in there as well. Still removed with the same precision as the last but disagreed like trash. They felt the victim was stupid and unworthy, no knowledge to be gained by eating their brain, but here." The young girl walked closer to the body.

The detectives looked at the girl in confusion, with a slight bit of distain, they didn't need another Malcolm.

"The eyes were removed, as if they held some secret. Seeing something they shouldn't have... seeing the killer. Russian folkloric tales state that the eyes of someone killed hold a picture of their killer. This was personal, they knew each other, that's why the killer thought his brain was worthless. They thought, they knew he was stupid." She glanced up to Malcolm with a smile, one he returned.

He saw it to, he saw the exact same things that she did. They understood each other and the killer.

"Was there a head wound, besides that of the... skull cutting bit?" Malcolm asked.

Edrisa pursed her lips and walked behind the body, it laid on the table spread eagle. Tilting her head to the side she glanced up at Malcolm.

"Um, yes actually... how's you know?" She asked.

Malcolm and Mary shared a look, they knew what that meant.

"Why would the killer need to incapacitate the victim if they were physically stronger?" Mary asked, a glint in her eye, the same one Malcolm had.

"They wouldn't. The killer is a woman, it fits with the references to the Papua New Guinea tribe. Only the women could eat the bodies-."

"Because only they could hold in the demons." Finishing the young man's sentence an eerie silence filled the room.

Dani let out a deep sigh, yeah, there was two of them now. Dani glanced over to JT and Gil, they both seemed to share the same idea. No matter how hard they pushed it wouldn't matter if they solved the case even if she wasn't needed anymore, Malcolm was going to keep bringing her. At least he was finally making friends, huh?

Thank you @buggylad for editing

[the20thcenturykid]

Huh, I just realised I've passed my oral native language final high school exam (matura) by talking about gender fluidity and how sticking to completely binary form is outdated. All that during time I didn't know much about LGBTQ+ community, not knowing I'm aro/ace and of "I don't care" gender and I based my reasoning on the hard sci-fi book (what was actually topic of my exam "how author portraits their time period in their piece" and yes I explained quite nicely why I used sci-fi book as "author's present time") where gender and sex is just the way you portrait yourself since most of people are practically digitalised and you choose your physical avatar you live in and some people have more than one so... You can look however you like basically, so for that manner new pronoun is used for them as basic one.

And I didn't knew this book were quite interesting piece of gender ambiguous umbrella in my country for some time.

You know, in my language (Polish) we use pronounces even in first person talk usually by changing last part of some words for feminine -am and masculine -em (I'm not going to explain it better, I'm ass in grammar) and there's no real alternative aside from pronoun for 'it', which in my language could mean child or object so... Also plural pronouns are gendered to.

There are some initiatives to use 'it' form or create new pronouns for gender ambiguous community but it's tough case since it's basically making quite big change in whole language where our society is still way behind many countries and while portrayed from outside as way more homophobic than it is in case of transphobia... Well, let's say trans people don't have easy and gender ambiguous are usually just treated as 'tomboys' or 'femboys'. (Yes, it's changing and is way better in bigger cities but we are in middle ages still). So pronouns are being created and... While it's individual thing for every person which to use, for me most of them don't seem natural to the language (like -ix one because letter 'x' is basically not existent in polish language and some even change it to '(i)ks' when writing english word in polish sentence) and here I came back to my exam because pronouns that I found the most fitting were... From that book I used as base to my oral essay (created on spot mind you, I had like 15min to prepare after I've got a theme). The thing is they seems interestingly natural and work very well with our grammar. They're based on -um pronoun and next to -om one seems the most fitting to the language itself. They even named after author's surname so it's 'dukatyw' or 'dukaizm'. Of course, I didn't knew that those 7 years ago.

I'm not here trying to push any agenda or great statement - I just found it funny than my 19-yr old ass completely outside of LGBTQ+ community when heard theme was "let's make 15+min lecture about gender and sex fluidity" based on book I've readed like a year earlier which burned my brain and twisted it to the other side and I decided to love it.

The book is "Perfekcyjna Niedoskonałość" (Perfect Imperfection) by Jacek Dukaj and was never translated to any other language and honestly I think it's almost impossible to do so to English without loosing most of it's "flavour". That pronouns thing is just a part of writing and shown universe, tho while subject on ones identity and purpose is main theme of it, the gender is just it - the part.

Time fluctuations, tech bending time and space and some social and interspecies tensions are quite big part of it too but that's other story.

[picnokinesis]

hello! I’ve just wanted to say that all the meta you’ve written on mathematique has been pretty illuminating. big thanks for that! also, don’t even know if you’re still following cleanwhiteroom’s updates but fod rewrites has been pretty insane right? in many ways, but specifically in terms of overall triptych. there’s so much to unpack especially when it comes to ancient ‘riley’…..

Ahh hello!! This is so nice ahh, I'm so happy you liked the meta and found it enlightening!! <3 It was so much fun to write hahaha. And yes, I know I've been pretty quiet here cwr-wise, but I have 100% definitely been following the rest of the math and ad noc chapters, and then ALL THE FOD REWRITES?? I have been steadily loosing my mind hahah! There's just! SO much!! I've actually been wanting to do another post about the changes since ad noc chapters 6 and 7 went up, which was like....half a year ago?? Guh. But yeah I've been so busy and just not have the time, energy or motivation to sit down and write out another essay rip (also I'm currently about two chapters behind on fod 2.0, I last read chapter 43, I think? Maybe 44, I don't remember). But man, there is a lot of new stuff to dig into, isn't there? Especially in fod, but just like you said, it's stuff that relates to ALL the verses - like MAN the whole conversation with Ancient!Riley and Young, all the changes there were just fascinating - like the idea of seven arrays (or, I suppose, bundles of adjacent timelines) and then the fact that THREE of them are crucial/threatening to the integrity of the multiverse?? (or something like that - it's late here and I've been on trains for 12 hours across the last two days so forgive me for not going to check the actual chapter) So like, I think it's so obvious that I don't need to say but I'm gonna say it anyway - those three key arrays are our triptych, for SURE. And it makes me all the more curious about math in particular, because if we assume from the little snippets that cwr stuck up on tumblr back in the day for the adnoc verse that cwr is intending for Rush and Volker to end up on Destiny, I can 100% see why Ancient!Riley would be, uh. Let's say concerned to have a very traumatised pyromaniac at the helm of that verse. But then, math? Man, the more I think about it the more it fascinates me, because I'm sure this means that they're all gonna end up on Destiny, somehow, but like Volker is so much more a lynchpin in that verse, right? But then we have Rush going to Atlantis, based on the last few chapters we have of math, and from the changes we have in fod 2.0, we know that Rush's P=NP related skills are a significant reason why he's so good with using Destiny's systems and making work-arounds....so like, I've still got one foot solidly in the 'math!rush will go to Destiny' camp, and I feel like for that verse to end up on Riley's 'list of troublesome verses', Rush has gotta get to Destiny, right?? Like, man, it almost feels wrong to suggest he WOULDN'T because...well, it's Rush and Destiny, yknow!! It would feel kinda unbalanced if he got there in adnoc and fod but not math. Also, unhinged scientists have got to threaten the integrity of the multiverse somehow, and he's certainly not doing it from Atlantis, or the ancients would have done it from Atlantis. And - idk man, Rush has got a serious drive to actually fly into the collision point between d-branes and try to change something (even if he knows that, fundamentally, he can't), and it's that point that Riley seems bothered about. Volker, though? Hm. Idk, in math he seems to have pretty much accepted that he can't go back to his old life. Would he and Telford fly into it for the sake of science? Yeah, I mean they pretty much certainly would lol but my point is that the desperation to do it, compounded together by the AI's desire and Rush's, is a key component to the whole issue, yeah? And I don't get the same vibe from Volker, you get me? BUT. I may be wrong! I have no idea what's gonna happen and it's great.

ANYWAY this ended up long - but yeah!! There's so much more than this to unpack and maaaaybe one day I'll get the brain space again to do a Proper Post about it. We'll see!

[discipulusmaleficus]

Close call x 2

@scxrytxles - you should be dead 17 times over

"--which is an excellent way to absorb 'too much' power and reduce your physical form to a fine mist as what remains of you turns into something else, but, you know. I'm okay with that. I feel pretty good about it, actually. Except I think I hear my roommate saying something, and I'm stopping to wonder what the hell he's doing in here, an-nd. Then I'm waking up in my least favourite branch of the infirmary."

He's not sure why Lewis, of all people, is the one who's actually allowed to hear this saga. Because he actually won't give a shit, probably. What're they going to make weird? The man only knows him as a pathetic drunken asshole. A deeply dishonest one, at that.

"So, uh, I'm cuffed to the bed, they've jammed a high-grade restraining torc around my neck, I'm still mildly strung out on deity blood and shit and I already know they'll have exorcised my Affiliate real well. And I feel pretty goddamn pissed off about that." He tugs idly at the ring that’s currently around his neck. "But after, uh, an eternal and infinitesimal facet of time -- what's the word? A while -- I remember that screaming in tongues isn't going to get us to the Unravelling of All Things any faster, yes? This'll wind up smoother if I'm. Polite."

"And soon enough I'm talking to an Assistant Disciplinary Faciliator or something, and he's the bastard son of my great-uncle-in-law, and he's saying shit like I still have excellent prospects ahead of me and this sort of thing happens, and reminding me there have been far more catastrophic Student Incidents -- which is just insulting. And I tell him, ha, I tell him I'm just hoping this won't affect my goddamn exams, and he acts like that's a sane thing to fucking say."

"So, you know, I ditch the bed part soon enough, and if I can't turn the whole place into a pullulating extradimensional rift, I can at least take my frustrations out on everybody who got in my fucking way. I'm still on probation -- can't really use magic -- which makes things a little difficult. And, you know. I'm not unresourceful. Remind me to give you the scurrilous details."

"But that won't be good enough, and half my friends are cowards who don't even want to help me any more. I've been thinking a lot, and I've been behaving - not too much, not a suspicious amount - I've been sucking up, and the day before the exam period I apply for some supervised practice time and the instant the supervisor breaks the enchantment her spine cracks itself in three places and the Key throws itself into my hands. Basic shit, if their guard's down. Tossed her memory like a salad, left her under the table, and then, the~en we have at least a little space, yes?"

"Contrived to summon a number of choice entities in choice locations, just as people were starting their fucking alchemical history essays. Finally seeded that Improved Parasitoid Fungus in the Decomposition Chambers. Shoved a lot of interesting artefacts into my pockets, incinerated some dull ones -- asked my lovely co-founder to leave with me, she gave me an earful about telling partial truths, I tried to cut her ear off so I could take possession of her living corpse -- That doesn't work out. Let's just say."

"I can't really stick around to see what else works out, mind you, or they'll just catch me and try to give me career advice again. I'd thought about stealing one of the faculty jets. Probably lucky I didn't get the chance. Wouldn't have the first idea how to fly one. Or eject from it. Or turn it on."

"So I just. Step out a maintenance door. Fall, Arrest my Momentum, hit loose sand at, oh, twenty miles an hour. Heat's godawful. Got up, started walking, didn't stop for, uh. A while. You know what I didn't pack, by the way? Water."

"Sometime left of that, I'm probably at least halfway mummified and one of those blue assholes is digging me out of the sand, and, you know, I don't know how far I was from sinking beneath the dunes never to be discovered. Starts raising a fuss and trying to get me to drink and everything, and I'm kind of an ungrateful bastard about it, but I'm pretty sure whatever's keeping me animate is finally wearing thin, so, uh, I'm coming around to the prospect." He distinctly remembers worrying about poison, mind you.

"Don't know what they thought about the whole affair. Didn't speak a word of Arabic. Or -- Tamahaq, or whatever the hell. I was mostly, uh, cargo, really. Maybe they were keeping me as a good luck charm. Joke's on fucking them, yes?"

[mlynar-nearl]

omg !!!! hi ty for the detailed response 😭😭😭😭 i love all the mini little petty facts like god !!!! i love learning about ocs !!!!! he likes birds, hes petty and buys ancient iberian cookies to spite andoain pls he sounds like a fun character pls i cannot express myself but !!!!!! i am immensely pleased !!!! thank u sm </3

and yes ofc u did amazing in ur essay ! you dont just try you do it very amazingly !!! (www sorry im kind of just feelings rn i love the reply!! im hyped!! idk what to say!!) this is a lot of exclamation marks i apologize as well and tysm i love the detailed ans of his kit as well 🥰🥰 ur a wonderful being i love u and ur ocs and tysm aaaaa idk what to say

do u have any more ocs ? or do u have a storyline set for shealtiel? (im so sorry learning abt other ppls ocs make me all fuzzy im sorry ;-;) like ocs in ak are a thing ive never actually thought about so now that ive heard abt urs im just ! hell yeah! iw to know more ! so thank u for indulging me !

yes of course!! i love answering questions like i said i have lots of thoughts, head full and Such. especially about my ocs and mlynar because he's blorbo from my games. god i woke up today and i'm counting down the events til he's Here and i Have Him.

i do have a couple more arknights ocs (i have ocs in other things lol but. arknights is the focus.) they're less developed outright than shealtiel.

i'm leaving shealtiel's story where it is for the moment until we have an update on what andoain is doing, then i'll probably tweak it to move with that. i do think that he's not going to get what he wants, because i don't think he's going to get to help kill andoain given how arknights handles characters like ando, but he's going to be better off for not getting it.

as for my other ocs, i have my doctor, who is in stasis because i don't like being wildly wrong about lore. but the sparknotes is that their name is taki, they're divorced from kal'tsit, they're four foot nine and their abilities include seeing branching timelines from their decisions, which is responsible for their tactics. the Doctor Visor helps them filter it all out, which is why they rarely take it off in actual situations or important (plot-relevant) conversations. however, it was made before the sarcophagus, so it's a little loose and it falls down a bit sometimes. for now they're a fennec vulpo because i love fennec foxes. i realize this makes two of my arknights characters vulpos, but this is unsurprising, because foxes are part of my Brand.

second fox is a self-indulgent one. audr "audie" fuchsfrost is arctic fox + from a minor family in kjerag. i made him because i think silverash is hot and i wanted to make an ocship about it. bottom text. audie seems very unassuming and cute and sociable, but he also has a pragmatic side that keeps encio guessing and is always a pleasant surprise for audie's partner. arranged marriage to actual lovers because they realize they have a lot in common. i said this was self-indulgent, didn't i. "this is my husband, enciodes, and this is his boyfriend, gnosis."

last one is still in the oven, but i've been working on a kazimierz bounty hunter's guild oc, a banshee sarkaz called enka or "howl". she grew up with the guild. has vocal Arts. is an absolute raccoon of a woman. i think they found her in the garbage. i've kind of been marinating on her the last couple of days but she's the newest addition, so, there's not too much there yet.

[eldragon-x]

Ms kikimora if you have her on the mind :)

I'm so sorry for the essay I wrote here. The lack of canon Kikimora content has gotten to me.

Fav thing about them

I could make this easy for myself and say she's simply my favourite pathetic little girlboss. My poor little meow meow who was born in a wet cardboard box all alone.

But really, she was actually an all around very hateable villain up until the s2 hiatus. She was passive-agressive towards Lilith who herself was an antagonist at the time, but clearly motivated by her guilt and concern for Eda. In s2a, Kikimora has tried to kill or otherwise harm Hunter, who is a whole teenager, several times out of jealousy because how dare Belos give his nephew a higher rank and special treatment. So like, she just sucks and is awful. But then the hiatus ended and s2b came along with the Coven Day Parade episode.

Oh the Coven Day Parade episode.

Kikimora is very present in this one and you know what the writers did with her? They humanized her. Kiki has a family and this family is pressuring her into coming home for a family reunion, otherwise she's going to be banished from her hometown. But if she leaves now, while having to work, without permission, after having failed several missions, Belos is going to kill her. Kiki is no longer just an evil villain who is purely hateable, she's in an awful situation that visibly distresses her and makes her sympathetic.

The protagonists end up helping her out by pretending to kidnap her so she can get home to the reunion and come back with the story that she escaped her captors. And it's a success! Kiki gets the chance to go visit her family. But the thing is, during their escape, Kiki heard Terra, another high-rank antagonist, talking about how it's such a shame that she vanished so shortly before getting a promotion. Valuing this over her chance to visit her home, Kiki turns on the protagonists and attacks them, only to be stopped by Terra. She reveals that she was actually supposed to keep an eye on Kiki to test her loyalty and she passed. Kiki asks excited what she'll gain for her promotion, only to have her face drop and mood ruined when Terra tells her that she simply gets to live.

This episode alone made Kiki almost a tragic villain to me, in a sense. Belos screws everyone in the Emperor's Coven over and holds power over them. Kikimora was in a desperate situation and just wanted to visit her family who also puts her under immense pressure. From the moment Kiki appears in the show, she reaches and grabs for every opportunity to win Belos' approval and pull everyone who rivals her down and she becomes more desperate as she's put on thin ice. Even under the risk of loosing her family, she jumps to the piece of approval thrown her way only to have it immediately ripped away from her and loose either way.

Remember when I said I view her as a parallel or foil to Hunter? They're both so desperate for Belos' approval. Kiki tries to assist him as much as possible while Hunter used to hold pride in his position as the Golden Guard.

But Hunter is willing to let things slide. He gave Luz the brief chance to escape with the Palismen. He freed Willow, Gus and co.

Kikimora on the other hand tosses away her chances for a false promotion. And I feel she would do something like this over and over, as long as Belos holds something out for her.

After Hunter learns of Belos' actions and true intentions, he is horrified, rejects his title of the Golden Guard, and while he is still a little bit in denial, he knows and acknowledges that and still does the right thing by going against Belos.

But if Kikimora were to learn the truth? I think she'd either still be a villain on her own or just... not know what to do with herself. Depending on her believes and motivations. Which brings me to:

Least fav thing about them

Her motivations are so unclear! Does she want power? To control people under the coven system? Does she worship Belos to an extreme extend? Is she generally desperate for approval? Hey remember when I talked about that one episode that first humanized her and gave her depth? That was almost 8 weeks ago and we haven't seen her SINCE. At least we know she still works for Belos and is still loyal to him despite how messed up she was by the end of Coven Day, but man. These things make me grief over the show getting cut short. Can you imagine how much development we could've gotten with her if there was time? Now we only have 6 episodes left. Manifesting Kikimora coming back this Saturday.

Fav line

Can't think of any lol

brotp

I.... don't think she has friends.

otp

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notp

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random hc

Based on her whole family situation, she surely didn't have a great home life which could feed more into the desperate for approval thing.

unpopular opinion

I love her so much but I don't want her redeemed.

song I associate with them

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fav picture

[nocturnal-phantoms-fandoms]

No no wait, delete my previous ask 😄 You've already answered

BDK

Hi!! :D

Thank you for the ask!!!

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.

well if we arent strict on the someone part (one person i could pinpoint) changing my mind - ill say wolfstar. i wasnt shipping them initially when i first entered the fandom (tho it wasnt the english speaking fandom on tumblr or ff.net) and now its my whole personality. i had no idea it exists, or that its even a possibility to ship 2 men together (I was 12 with no critical thinking skills. i knew gay ppl exist but i didnt know its something that can exist in fiction too i guess?) and all the fics there were included sirius x marlene or sirius x dorcas. and one day i completely randomly stumbled upon this ship. and now, after all this time, im here.

aside from that - probably most ships that im into now that arent wolfstar - wolfstarbucks, wolfbucks, prongsfoot, lilypad and jilypad. I cant pinpoint who exactly introduced me to which ship tho - I just know that people in the fandom that I follow talk about those ships and i was like, i see the vision. similar thing in the case of non-marauders ships like Cedric, Fleur/Bill/Tonks or Fleur/Tonks - but here its more like, i dont really care about anyone thats not S or R and thats why i didnt consider any of those ships initially (but I've always liked Tonks).

idk if that counts but somebody (i wont say who. but in this case i can tell who that was) said they canNOT see remus x lily (or they could but it would be disaster for everyone) and that made me realise I could get into that ship too. so ill put it on the list <3

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t.

I mentioned a couple times I ship prongsfoot, but what I meant is I see why people ship them, and I ship them when in polyships I mentioned, and I do consider Sirius being in love with James (so, unrequired prongsfoot) in most concepts/storylines - but i wish I could get fully into the actual ship bc i feel like this part of the fandom writes them more in characters, and is generally a nice place to be. But I also saw some ppl talk about prongsfoot and james cheating on lily or sth and i know i wont get into that (cheating just squicks me out i guess?)

(this kinda goes for most of my ships that arent my OTP, I think? I like them, but im not into them enought to consider them my OTPs and sometimes I wish I did)

Also femslash ships. I wish I was more into them, and I dont want to excuse or justify why i dont like many femslash ships (there is so much discourse in many fandoms about it and i really dont want to do that). Im just not into them that much - i like them, but i dont read or write just about them, and I wish I did (maybe I will someday). In the case of the marauders fandom - Im not into dorlene or marylily bc those characters (sans Lily) are basically fandom's OCs (and I love that the fandom looked at those characters that were mentioned once in the books and made them quite interesting too. but I dont really care about them bc they are neither S or R and also there is no canon of them for me to fall back to)

K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?

Why are you making me think critically about my blorbos on saturday afternoon </3

I cant pick a fav but im also not going to write an essay on each one

When I did a presentation about my fav ships I mentioned that I loved Steve Roger's arc in his first movie bc he went from "I dont want to kill anyone. I want to fight nazis bc I dont like bullies - I dont care where they come from" to "I'm not going to stop till all of Hydra is dead or captured" after he lost Bucky </3 (but thats just the first movie. and i still pretend endgame didnt happen. so) (also ive read metas that steve's arc was tied to saving/loosing bucky, and i love that from the shipping perspective)

Everyone in the Stranger Things fandom loves Steve Harrington's arc - he went from a background asshole jock to a heroic babysitter working minimum wage whose best friend is a lesbian - and now that he's a fan's favourite he's also most likely to die in the last season

I also read some posts/metas about Remus's arc and his nonlinear healing and learning to take on responsibility and I dont like most elements that his arc consists off but I do find it very interesting.

ask game