#which is probably why i am in such awe of anyone who can speak more than one

[steddieas-shegoes]

i have another hc for you if you like! this is one of my faves ever since i saw someone call wayne "tio shaped" 😆: Eddie being at least partially hispanic/latinx (i lean toward hispanic) and being fluent in spanish; i LOVE the idea of him either sweet talking or just saying the absolute filthiest stuff to steve in spanish and steve gets robin to help him learn spanish in secret (just for a bit at least) so he can know what eddie’s been saying to him

(i wrote a little drabble of this idea before here, but i would love to see your take on it too!!!!)

OKAY SO FIRST OF ALL GO READ NOELLE'S POST BECAUSE IT'S GREAT WORK 10/10.

Second of all, I don't know more than the most basic Spanish. I am relying on Google Translate, which we all know is not reliable. If something sticks out as being completely wrong, please let me know.

----------------------

"Okay, that's good!"

"Robin, you don't have to talk to me like I'm a kid," Steve said, but hid the blush on his cheeks at the praise.

"Eddie estará tan impresionado," she said with a knowing smirk.

"Eso espero."

------------------------

Robin left him with some study cards to practice being less formal with his Spanish, told him that Eddie and Wayne were used to conversational and familiar vocabulary and grammar. The last thing she wanted was for him to sound like he was reading from a textbook.

So he sat on his couch, studying, probably more than he ever studied for anything else in his life.

He needed to do this right.

He jumped when the front door opened unexpectedly, shoving his study cards between the cushions and hoping whoever it was wouldn't notice the corner of one sticking out.

"Dios, cómo te ves tan bien sentado ahí?" Eddie said mostly under his breath.

But Steve heard it.

He didn't just hear it, he mostly understood it.

"Sólo estoy usando sudaderas," Steve replied, much easier than he expected to.

Eddie's eyes got impossibly wider, his mouth opening in shock.

"Did you just speak Spanish?" Eddie asked.

"Sí."

"How-" Eddie cleared his throat. "How long have you known Spanish?"

"Not long. Robin's been teaching me," Steve shrugged.

"But like...how long?" Eddie seemed nervous, avoiding eye contact completely.

"If you're worried about things you've been saying, I still don't know enough to figure most of what I can kind of remember out," Steve said.

That was true, too. He barely remembered most of what Eddie had been saying over the last few months, definitely couldn't get the pronunciation right anyway to ask Robin and only some of the words had come up in their lessons.

But what he said today, at least a lot of it, was clear to Steve and that made him feel pretty confident that he'd been reading Eddie's feelings correctly.

"Lo decias en serio?" Steve asked, stuttering a bit with nerves.

"Por supuesto."

"Um. Beso?" Steve knew that wasn't right, but his brain wasn't firing on all cylinders.

"Claro, puedo besarte, cariño."

Steve let out a whimper when Eddie pulled him to his feet, cupped the back of his neck in his hand, and licked into his mouth like he'd been waiting years for this moment.

"You've been learning Spanish for me?" Eddie asked breathlessly when he finally managed to pull away.

"I'm trying. For you and Wayne."

Translations: Eddie estará tan impresionado - Eddie will be so impressed Eso espero - I hope so Dios, cómo te ves tan bien sentado ahí? - God, how do you look so good just sitting there? Sólo estoy usando sudaderas. - I'm just wearing sweats Lo decias en serio? - Did you mean it? Por supuesto. - Of course Beso - Kiss Claro, puedo besarte, cariño. - Sure, I can kiss you, sweetheart

[tashacee]

Hello! Asking the question here because you told me to LOL

I was wondering, if a stranger than normal portal took one set of Links to the world of another set of Links, and maybe mixed them up, how long do you think it would take to figure out something was up? What do you think the different reactions of Apect AU seeing Mask AU? Especially since we know that Aspect Links now have experience with thinking someone was an evil double but turned out to not be?

SO I love this so much and i am SO happy you sent it here THANK YOU Okay so this was going to be a standalone but now I've decided it's a sequel to Aspects of a Mask

Aspects of a Mask 2 - Twilight Boogaloo

The two chains, unbeknownst to each other, come through their portals into the same woods. And unbeknownst to each other, they set up camp only a few hundred feet from one another.

It's the middle of the night when, unbeknownst to each other, the Twilight's of both Chains realise they really need to pee. So they both wave to their respective Warriors', who are on watch, and tootle off to take a whiz. And unbeknownst to each other, they both get a little turned around in the darkness, the result of which is that they both end up returning to the wrong campsite.

Neither notices and they both settle back into their bedrolls, wriggling a little and each thinking vaguely that it feels slightly... different.

Whatever. Probably just tired.

The next morning, neither notices immediately. The Mask!Chain think that Twi must still be tired and that's why he's not speaking as he shaves. The Aspects!Chain also notice nothing at first, because the Twilight they've ended up with may be able to speak, but he actually is really tired and is very slow getting up.

Predicatably, the thing that gives them each away is Wild. Wild is the outlier in each Chain, the thing that makes them really different at first glance.

For the Mask Chain, Bean creeps up to where Twi is tiredly pulling a comb through his hair. He needs a favour, and he trusts Twilight more than he trusts anyone.

"Twi?" he says quietly. "Can you help with my ba-"

That's as far as he got. Because Twilight jumped a mile in the air and turned around in shock, eyes wide as he took in the mask. Because he knows this Wild, he met him during that weird week where he joined his chain. But... as far as he knows there hasn't been any weird portals recently.

Well. Weirder than usual.

Mask!Wild also stares at Twi, eyes flicking to his neck in recognition.

"...you." he breathes. "But- how-"

Twi shook his head, looking around in shock. As he looked, he realised more was different than he had realised. Nearby, Hyrule was chatting quietly with Legend and across the camp, Sky was reading a book.

He wasn't in Ordon anymore.

In the Aspects camp, something similar happened to Mask!Twi but.... perhaps less.... calmly.

Because Aspects Wild also had a request for his good good buddy Twi, but was less nervous about asking for it. Instead he saw how Twi was still lazing in his bedroll and decided that the best course of action was to jump in beside him. Because of course.

From Twi's point of view, he was relaxing and having a lazy morning, when all of a sudden something very large and very fluffy was pouncing on top of him.

Twilight shrieked. And of course, not expecting any kind of sound from the rancher, Wild also shrieked.

"ORDONA'S YELLOW POLKA DOT BIKINI WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKING FUCK?!" Twilight screeched

Wild stared at him. And then he yowled. Around him, all of his Chain drew their swords and leapt to their feet, ready to fight this bizarre imposter.

"Aw, Faron's tits, I'm out!" Twi hissed and did the only sensible thing he could think of - he got up and fled.

He didn't get far. Because over in the MUCH calmer Mask!Camp, Bean and Aspects!Twi had explained what was going on (as well as they could understand it) and were coming through the woods in search of their counterparts.

And so in his desperate flight, chased by Aspects!Wild and the rest of the Chain, Twilight ran straight into... himself. And immediately stumbled and fell onto the ground. He looked up. Saw the him-but-not-him.

"Balls." he whispered, staring up at him.

Thankfully, the misunderstanding didn't take too long to clear up after that. When the Bean and Aspects!Wild saw each other they immediately ran into a hug, and the Aspects Chain were all delighted to see Mask!Wild again.

Bean was more than a little flustered introducing his Chain to them all, and they were all more than a little astounded to meet their counterparts, the two Twilights especially. They weren't sure why they had been brought together, not at first.

That only became evident when they all joined together in one camp, both Wilds cooking, both Skys strumming their harps, all of them happily relaxing and getting to know one another.

Because they hadn't been brought together for a battle or for training. They'd been brought together, purely and simply, because they had all been through a lot. And they all deserved a break. And awkward meeting aside, a break was what they were going to get.

[desertfangs]

I haven't yet read the books (there's so many!) I've only watched the iwtv movie and TV show and I love Claudia in both but I've had people tell me in the books she's awful and considered to be one of the series villains. Idc about spoilers I just wanna know how true that is bc I dunno if I'd want to read that lol

Hi anon! I was excited to see your ask this morning because I'm gonna tell you something: Claudia was one of my first favorite characters in the series and her death devastated me. Louis was my first fav (understandable, he's literally the protagonist of the first book, we're meant to sympathize with him!) and when he lost Claudia and became numb in his grief, I related. I hated Armand for what happened to Claudia and I held a grudge for a long time.

Anyhow, I can't speak to the show so much as I've only seen season 1, but if you like the 94 movie, you will probably like the novel Interview with the Vampire. It's a pretty close adaptation.

To get to the heart of your question, no, Claudia not an awful villain. Anymore than Louis or Lestat are. If anyone is a villain in IwtV, it's Armand, and even he is not a mustache-twirling evil guy.* Everyone in this series in morally gray and does terrible stuff. I emphasize that because I've been in this fandom for a long time and I've seen all kinds of arguments about who is evil and who is not, and the fact is, all of our vampires do questionable things. That's sort of the point. So it's arguable how much there even is a villain in IwtV outside of Louis' own depression and grief, but Armand probably gets that honor.

Claudia in the books was turned around the age of 5. She is a very small, doll-like child who doesn't seem to retain much, if any, memory of her human life. She is more purely a vampire than Louis or Lestat can really fathom because she lacks that humanity and a connection to humans. She's a natural hunter and killer.

She doesn't understand Louis' sentimentality for humans, and resents Lestat for withholding information she knows he has about their kind. She is a complex and fascinating woman trapped in the body of a small child to the point where even Louis, who loves her dearly, cannot really see her as an adult and struggles to accept her agency. She does manipulate both her parents, in part because they don't often see her as a capable equal, which she very much is.

She does eventually rise up to kill to Lestat out of desperation. She believes he will not let Louis go and knows she can't travel around alone, given her appearance. Lestat himself is devastated by this and by her loss, and even says later he understands why she did it. That he probably deserved it for what he'd done to her, which was trap her forever in the body of a very young child, something he admits was selfish. (And something Marius had actually warned him against doing beforehand, LOL!!)

Like in the movie and the show, she does die at the Theatre des Vampires, and Armand is more responsible for that than I've heard he is on the show (he tells Louis he couldn't have stopped it, only to later reveal he orchestrated it, which Louis knew the whole time).

She appears later in The Tale of the Body Thief mocking Lestat and acting as a sort of voice for his subconscious, but she is just his hallucination in he book. He's dealing with a lot of trauma and grief and that manifests itself as Claudia's ghost.

Where you might be hearing she's a villain is from Merrick, where both her diary and spirit appear and are... not very nice. I gotta say, I am not convinced that is actually the spirit of Claudia that gets conjured, and even if it is, it's possible she's been warped somehow. But I also haven't read that book in decades and often tend to ignore it, so I am not an expert on that score.

I hope this helps! I'm always happy to answer questions about the books! (They are my special interest, if you cannot tell.)

But I do want to say that if you are a fan of the show and curious about the books--which are very different!--I highly recommend you read at least the first few yourself. The best way to judge if you'll like the book versions of the characters and story is to experience it yourself. There's a lot of misinformation that gets passed along about the books, and a lot of misinterpretation due to that because people just repeat what they've heard without having read them. And hey, they still may not be your cup of tea, and that's totally fine! But you won't know if you don't try, you know?

Anyhow, thank you so much for the ask! 💖 Claudia is awesome and deserves more love in the book fandom, but because she dies so early on, she doesn't get as much attention sadly.

*And even when he is, we love him.

[esterzach]

I don't understand why so many people, especially people who read and loved the books, and especially men, fail to understand Moiraine in the show.

The kids don't trust her, people see her as a witch, and I guess that goes for most Aes Sedai but most Aes Sedai either reside mostly in the Tower, Tar Valon, or a couple of other places where they are respected, or don't travel as much to get that attitude from random people. Moiraine has to deal with all that, half of the time simply because she is a woman and doesn't reveal her status, or she is seen as evil and hated.

They somehow fail to see how people from outside her circle, which is a very small space to maneuver at that, treat her and see her. And why her response is the way it is.

This is a person who is extremely isolated due to what her sole mission is, she can't be honest and talk to pretty much anyone, aside from Siuan and Lan. She is afraid to talk to people because she knows how the politics of the Tower works and how everyone is either trying to extract information or can be an enemy. Half of those people either see her as too secretive or downright awkward, they either mock her behind her back or don't trust her. And she probably feels all that. Liandrin, one of the very few who actually knows her has unresolved feelings for her, and is hostile and aggressive to her.

Then she gets to hold terrifying secrets and she gets through an event that her Sisters consider their worst fear, she can't or doesn't speak about that, she can't go and share it with someone who has been through the same, because no one has been through this for ages. She gets to live through it alone, and that rot within her for months... which probably evokes even more isolation and fear, resulting in her being even more alone and cold to everyone...

She goes to her sister, and her sister is rightfully angry with her, which makes her look even worse. She treats her on and off, Moiraine either doesn't speak or answers badly... Logain is an ass to her, as expected.

She is ashamed to tell Siuan, she never actually speaks it out loud and even freaks out a bit when Lan only mentions it. She never utters the words, in her mind this probably seems like a nightmare that doesn't stop, because she is afraid to face reality.

And people are Oh, she is awful. She is evil... Like you are so mature and kind when something bad happens to you? As if all of a sudden you become amazingly wise and sweet, while you are in pain, confused and terrified. Superhumans... Hospitals are full of people who are in pain but are great at socializing and oh-so nice. We tend to become angry and bitter. And this is normal. Fear speaks. Anger too.

The only people who seem to understand are Verin and Adeleas. And that woman's perspective, that motherly attitude from Verin feels like something that almost makes you cry. And it's not the pity one needs, but understanding and being kind. There is a difference, that most people tend to mix. And when you are hurting or going through something this attitude from people around you tends to be even more annoying. Verin sees her and understands. I doubt Siuan as it was in E 7 does. There is... some sort of pity and someone mentioned disgust. Which is the worst possible combination in such a case. When you crave acceptance and understanding, love and kindness, just a bit, to see that in someone so close to you, doesn't feel good at all.

I noticed something in S1 E7 - when Moiraine sent Lan to go see his family and Lan introduced Nynaeve to them, they greeted her and called her Aes Sedai. They thank her for keeping Lan safe. They don't know her but assume she is an Aes Sedai who travels with Lan. Maybe I am wrong but...it seems that these people don't know what Moiraine looks like. They don't know her, so they confuse her with Moiraine. She never went with Lan. And these people are sweet and nice, but she never gets to experience that.

Even in Fal Dara, where people know who she is, they greet Lan warmly, and she is mostly ignored. That stings. Then Lord Agelmar is treating her as an annoyance, with cold formality, almost dismissing her. And she is almost on the edge here to snap at him.

This goes on and on, and people are oh why is she like that?! Because they treat her like shit, that's why!

And at the end, show Moiraine is called "a cow" by some people. Nice. Soooo they get to dig into 14 books, find connections, and hidden clues, but don't understand what they see right in front of them?! You don't hear what is said? A hell of a way to understand people.

Even when she attempts to protect Lan and make him leave, to be away from her because she most likely will attract danger. This is not only obvious, but he says it again and again. She is still seen as the bitch who treats him shitty, just because. Talking about superficial thinking...

But how this stupid man can't see through her when he has known her for so long and so intimately?! Why is he acting so dumb? If you treat someone like crap for months, especially when that someone trusts you and has tremendous respect for you, observe what that does to their self-esteem. Keep dismissing them, ignore them, and act as if they are a liability. And then tell them something slightly ambiguous, almost transparent, and observe how they would take it. Actually, no need to go that far at all. We all have seen it, one way or another.

Everyone else who knows them will never think twice about what she meant when she said "We were never equal." Her tone is harsh, her face expresses what would be read as contempt or something similar. And after months of bad attitude and a reveal of how many things she hid from him, how else he would see it? The whole foundation of their relationship was undermined by her, meticulously, for months, bit by bit, blow by blow. Refusing to speak to him, refusing to give him her usual trust and respect. The message is clear - you are no longer important to me, you are no longer of use. For someone who claimed that she gave him everything, a meaning, a reason to live and to die for... That seems like a pretty big deal. And now all that is gone. How dare he react like a human being! Almost like when she informs him in The Great Hunt what would happen to him in case she dies. And in the books, she is this serene creature, with a soft voice, who never do anything cruel or slightly shitty, like reminding him in TDR "Walk faster or you know who I am going to call..." FFS, even I was "WHAT the fuck, woman?!" and the people around them were like Damn, whatever that was, Lan got angry... You think?!

But the showwww!!! Yeah, the show did perfectly fine with this situation, it's the preconceptions in people's heads that stopped them from seeing what was going on. There are flaws. Many at that. But this wasn't one of them.

[youcouldmakealife]

LBTE: Jared (155-157)

The Fallout.

We're in the final 20 now!

If you'd like to follow along, the series page is here.

155. On the Record

“So,” Sharma says. “Can you tell us about the blanket?”

Jared, freshly showered and straight out of practice, blinks at the red light of the camera, probably looking like a confused guppy, then blurts out, “How do you know about the blanket?”, which, as far as responses go, is terrible.

Jared Matheson Julius wore that blanket as a cape.

Twice.

“Uh,” Jared says, scratching his neck awkwardly. “No, it was — it just kind of, y’know, became a thing.”

Jared doesn’t know why he becomes the least articulate guy in the world the moment a camera is turned on him, but you’d think he would have gotten over it by now.

How dare you imply you’re articulate without a camera on you.

Jared looks absolutely ridiculous when he’s taken aback. More like a startled owl than a guppy, but a very unfortunate startled owl. So good to know: he should never allow himself to be surprised by anything ever again. Well, at least not in front of cameras or anyone whose opinion he cares about. Who could takes a startled owl seriously? Not Jared.

Guess you’re not Eeyore anymore, huh?

“I think you look cute,” Bryce protests.

“Your comments about my appearance can’t be trusted,” Jared says. It’s all ‘oh you look great Jared’ no matter what he does. Which Jared appreciates, he does, but seriously: startled owl is not cute.

Bryce pouts, then scrolls through his phone for a moment, before saying, “Aw, look at his little face when he realizes the media’s caught onto the feud. Adorable.”

Love that Bryce hears ‘can’t trust your opinion, you are obviously biased’ and then immediately goes to get supporting evidence from the comment section.

“Fine,” Bryce says. “Your surprised face isn’t adorable.”

Jared warily waits for the catch.

“It’s terrible,” Bryce says. “Embarrassing. If I were you I’d never leave this room again—“

Not the height of chirping, but I’m proud of Bryce for managing it without breaking into ‘except it’s amazing, you know it’s amazing right, you know I love your face??’.

Jared is trying to figure out a way to say ‘you should have a nap with me instead of going with our captain to cheer up hospitalised children’ that doesn’t sound monstrous, and he is having a very hard time.

Another great example of Jared taking a moment to think before speaking and therefore NOT saying anything to that effect.

“Yeah,” Bryce says with a sigh, then leans down and kisses Jared’s temple. “Want me to pick up dinner?”

“Sure,” Jared says. “Can you stop by the grocery store? We’re out of almond milk.”

Bryce makes a face.

Bryce offered to do an errand and then you added ANOTHER errand? He can’t do two errands. Jared, you know this about him. One errand at a time. (I would say he could pick up dinner at the grocery store, but Bryce would just make a face, so it is two errands)

“Fine,” Bryce mutters, then tells Siri to remind him to get almond milk. Jared figures there’s a fifty-fifty chance he’ll come home with it or dinner, about a five percent chance of him returning with both. Since they currently have leftovers in the fridge, and Bryce can grumble through cow’s milk coffee if needed, that’s fine by Jared.

At least Jared’s considering the odds.

When his phone buzzes he reaches for it almost gratefully, though he doesn’t stay that way, frowning at the I am so sorry from Julius. It could be the start of a prank or something — Julius isn’t a prank person, but then, Jared wouldn’t have said he was a ridiculous bet person either, and look at them now

Julius also isn’t an apology person, which Jared should factor into this.

Fuck, Julius broke up with Erin. Or maybe she broke up with him? Except no, if she broke up with him Julius wouldn’t be apologising. Unless he did something that made it the right call to break up with him, but still, him being the breaker-upper seems more—

And now he has an incoming call from Erin. Jared eyes his phone, refusing to pick it up. He doesn’t know whose side to be on yet.

Jared is the worst. And the best. Hedging his bets for now, waiting for more context before anyone can convince him to show solidarity.

He wonders if it was because Erin bet on the Canucks winning, especially after Jared accidentally blurted that out, made it a public thing. She said Julius was cool with it, but like, Jared would be deeply offended it Bryce bet against him on something.

Julius is getting a delicious home cooked meal out of this, Jared. He could not care less.

so a breakup isn’t a big deal, except for the whole Jaredian implications of things, which really should have been considered more seriously—

This is one of my favourite lines, for Jared unironically creating an adjective for ‘what about ME, guys, have you not thought about ME?’

“Julius is on the phone with his agent, who’s going to call your agent and I guess Bryce’s but he wanted you to know right away but also I think he’s terrified of being the one to tell you—“

Wait back up, Jared didn’t think ‘what about me’ went so far as to involve his agent.

“He didn’t mean to,” Erin says. She sounds miserable, which is frankly sort of terrifying.

Considering she found the last two minor debacles hilarious, not a good sign, but also Jared doesn’t like hearing her upset for…other, familial reasons. Don’t press this.

And someone in the scrum either knew something or just made a joke that was way too close to the truth about Bryce actually being my big brother, like, legally.”

“He’s not your brother,” Jared says. “He’s your brother-in-law, that’s different.”

Jared, she added ‘like, legally’ at the end. How is that not in-law, but with an extra like involved (‘with an extra like involved’ is half the dialogue of this series, thanks to both Jared and Bryce)

“Nothing,” Erin says. “Not like — nothing, but it was the way he said it.”

“The way he said nothing?” Jared says.

“Jared!” Erin says.

“I’m not being oblivious!” Jared says. “You’re not making any sense!”

“You’re so—“ Erin says, then makes a wordless sound of rage.

I see sibling relationships in fiction sometimes with affection and banter and calling each other ‘bro’ and ‘sis’ but frankly, I think ‘makes a wordless sound of rage’ is a good description of how it works on a day to day basis.

(I have never called my brother bro. I have, however, called him broseph, bruh, and ‘wordless sound of rage’)

“I don’t even know,” Erin says. “You try getting a coherent statement out of someone who’s speaking a mix of English and Finnish and terror.”

Try playing broken telephone in three languages, two of which you do not speak, then get back to her.

The clip starts with, “So we hear there’s a certain bet involving a blanket,” which could be directly Jared’s fault, them seeing his interview earlier, or could be the result of the same sort of research on their end.

He. Wore. It. As. A. Cape. Jared.

Twice.

“It must make the rivalry with the Canucks a little more interesting, your girlfriend’s brother on the other side.”

“Jared is a good friend,” Julius says. “And of course we played together. It’s always fun to play him.”

Jared continues to be impressed by just how little personality Julius shows to the media.

What do you want him to say here, Jared, ‘Jared is a petty bitch who stole my blanket’?

“Yes, but Jared said he was not going to get me a Christmas present,” Julius says, which is — okay, Jared did say that, but it makes him look bad.

How dare you directly quote me.

“It must be easier with Marcus out,” someone says. Jared doesn’t recognise the voice, so they probably weren’t on the beat when he was on the Oilers. “Is that going to change the stakes when he comes back?”

“Marcus?” Julius asks, starting to blink rapidly, Halla for confusion, looking a little like a startled owl himself. Jared shuts his eyes.

Julius hates media. It’s not in his first language, and he's been learning English at a breakneck pace in the previous years but still isn’t comfortable in it, there are lights, people are in his personal space, phones and mics are in his breathing space, and the vast majority of the questions he finds to be completely asinine. So when something goes off script it goes VERY off script.

“Well, it’s two against one, right?” the reporter adds. “And you’ve got two protective older brothers on the same team. I don’t envy you those family dinners or those board battles.”

So, Julius, completely overwhelmed at the mo, hears ‘protective older brothers’ and ‘family dinners’ and does not think of a ridiculous article written up some time ago, he thinks ‘fuck’.

So quiet the mics barely pick it up, but with a lot of feeling, Julius says, “Fuck.”

And that’s precisely what comes out of his mouth.

156. Knife Edge

Jared tries to think of what assumptions people are going to make about why Julius panicked, any explanation that could be innocent but still prompt that reaction. He can’t think of any, but then, he can’t think.

Nobody’s thinking straight in this chapter. Except maybe Andreas.

Julius mumbles something. Jared gets ‘sorry’ out of it, but not much else. He doesn’t think it’s Finnish, so this must be the terror Erin was talking about.

This is contrition. Terror was slightly louder and much faster.

“It’s okay,” Jared says. “It’s okay, Julius, okay? I’m not mad at you.”

“You should be,” Julius says.

“Well too fucking bad, I’m not,” Jared says.

Julius is quiet for a long time, other than some too fast breathing.

Julius did not plan for Jared not to be mad at him, and now he’s adrift.

“You’re really not mad?” he finally asks. He sounds very small. It makes Jared want to shake him until he doesn’t sound like that anymore.

No takebacks, please.

“I’m sure it’s fine,” Jared says. “Bryce’s agent will figure out some semi-plausible excuse again.”

Wishful thinking, maybe, but he’s done it before, so.

“You haven’t looked,” Julius says, “have you?”

OH. Says Julius. He’s not mad at me because he doesn’t know yet. Okay. I will prepare for anger again.

Jared hangs up the phone, then he chucks it across the room. Then, extricating himself from the stupid fucking blanket still twisting around his legs, he goes to retrieve it — safe in a pile of laundry, he’s pissed off, but he doesn’t want to buy a new phone over it — because he has to make some calls, even if he’d really rather not.

Maturity is making sure your phone lands in something soft when you chuck it because you gotta make some calls.

“Can you tell mom and dad,” he says.

“Yeah,” Erin says.

“Thanks,” Jared says, and hangs up while she’s mid-apology. Then texts her Not mad at you just can’t.

Feel you no worries Erin replies.

The Mathesons obviously give each other a lot of shit, but not when it matters (mostly).

Jared tries to calculate when Bryce is going to get home. Depends if he had to make his excuses, wait for a polite time to cut out. Depends on whether he sent his reply from inside the hospital or from the parking lot. Depends on traffic, and — there’s no real way of knowing, but it’s nice to accompany his pacing with some mental math to keep his brain busy so it isn’t speculating on just what’s being said right now, and just how many people are saying it.

Jared will take mental math over helpless speculation any day.

“Yeah,” Bryce says, stone-faced, phone to his ear. His voice is clipped, expression set, so Jared’s going to guess management or his agent. He wouldn’t talk to media or any of the guys right now, and he always looks a little soft when he talks to Elaine, no matter how upset he is. Apparently that’s also true when it comes to Jared, because his face eases into something softer when he meets Jared’s eye.

The two people Bryce drops all his defences around.

“Julius Halla is your sister’s boyfriend?” Summers asks.

“And one of my best friends,” Jared says. “And former linemate.”

He doesn’t care if that sounds petty: Julius is not first and foremost Erin’s boyfriend. And it’s relevant to the situation. Probably.

On the one hand, it is indeed relevant information. On the other hand — Jared.

“Fuck, he’s not funny, is he,” Summers says.

“He is,” Jared says. “But like — in a dry way?”

“Marcus, you think Halla’s funny?” Summers asks. “He make you giggle?”

Bryce looks at Jared.

Bryce is concerned he’s going to get in trouble with someone, and he’s not sure which is worse.

“Stop looking at your husband,” Summers says. “I’m asking you.”

Jesus, no wonder Bryce is terrified of him.

Dave knows the ‘don’t get mad at me’ pause.

“Alright, we’re not doing that then,” Summers says. “Stay by your phones, but don’t answer shit if the call isn’t from me or Greg. If it’s the Canucks, tell them to call me, then get right off the phone. They’re on their side, you understand me? Not yours. Greg and I work for you guys. The Canucks work for the Canucks.”

“If my mom calls and I don’t pick up she’ll—“ Bryce says.

“Jesus Christ, Marcus, you can pick up the phone if your mom calls,” Summers says.

But you just told him he couldn’t! Bryce is so confused.

“Just don’t answer any calls from unknown numbers.”

“Nobody under thirty does that anyway,” Jared says. “Like, just on principle.”

I’d go with under 40 in many cases.

“He calls you Jared,” Bryce says accusingly.

“You do too,” Jared says. “Because Jared is, in fact, my name.”

“How come he doesn’t call you Matheson,” Bryce complains.

Jared pats his wrist. “Bigger problems right now, babe.”

“You’re not even his client,” Bryce mutters.

Bryce knows why you are Dave’s favourite, and agrees, but also: no fair.

“You seem — calm,” Jared says. He also probably seems calm, but he’s balanced on a knife’s edge between eerie calm and complete hysteria right now, whereas Bryce seems legitimately calm. Not happy, but not panicking either. Jared was expecting a lot more panicking.

Bryce has had some time to think between sulks.

“I knew this was a possibility when I signed with the Canucks,” Bryce says.

Also this. When Dave asked him if he still wanted to sign if this was a possibility, and Bryce said yes, that was it. Bryce doesn’t tiptoe into shit, he dives headfirst. He’s been mentally preparing for it to happen since, especially after the team found out.

“Fuck,” Bryce says.

“Yeah,” Jared says.

“No,” Bryce says. “Fuck. I forgot the fucking almond milk.”

He also forgot dinner, but I think these are reasonable extenuating circumstances.

157. Conclusive Evidence

It takes awhile to get the hysterical laughter out of their systems. Long enough that Jared has tears in his eyes and Bryce wheezes out a plaintive, “My ribs,” between shuddering breaths.

“Ow,” Jared agrees, thumbing at a tear track on Bryce’s cheek.

“Fuck,” Bryce says. “Fuck, J.”

“Yeah,” Jared says, wipes the tears off Bryce’s other cheek, then lets Bryce haul him in, wrap himself around Jared, tacky wet face tucked against Jared’s neck. It feels half like he’s shielding Jared with his body, half like he’s using Jared to hide. Both are probably equally true.

<3 teammates

They could just order some delivered, he guesses, but and going out and doing something sounds way better than sitting at home trying not to think about, well — anything. There are way too many things currently in the ‘do not think about this’ portion of Jared’s brain, and sitting with his own thoughts feels like tempting fate right now.

Grocery shopping also beats helpless speculation.

Jared’s in and out as quickly as possible, since aimlessly wandering around Vancouver is also tempting fate, gets back back home after barely twenty minutes. He was expecting Bryce to still be on the phone — Bryce and Elaine chats have a tendency to go on for awhile no matter the circumstance — but instead he’s greeted by Bryce hovering right at the door, a little wild eyed.

“What,” Jared says. “Did you think I ran away?”

Intellectually he didn’t, but emotionally: sheer panic.

“I got you a Coffee Crisp,” Jared says, but Bryce has already discovered this, and is happily mulitasking walking the almond milk to the fridge and unwrapping it so he can shove it in his mouth.

It’s a chocolate bar that tastes like very sweet coffee. It was the GOAT of treats come Halloween, and is up there with nanaimo bars, poutine, and all-dressed chips as Elite Canadian Treats.

“You want some?” Bryce asks, belated and reluctant.

“Ate mine on the walk back,” Jared says. He’s a little touched that Bryce is even offering — fuck knows Jared would not share chocolate right now. Bryce, looking relieved, stuffs the remainder into his mouth.

True love right there.

“If it’s paparazzi I’m going to be so mad,” Jared says, as the knock repeats, insistent.

Do they even have paparazzi, really? Like, they’ve got a few irritating beat journalists, but Jared can’t see any of them hunting down their address and knocking on their door to get a scoop.

I feel like there has to be some level of paparazzi in Vancouver because so many TV shows are shot there? But two Vancouver Canucks wouldn’t even be on their radar.

“I brought you a fruit basket,” Stephen says. “And wine. You’re going to want me to be here when you talk things through with your agents. Gabe’s still trying to find a spot — what the fuck is up with the street parking around your building? Take this stupid basket, it’s ridiculously heavy.”

Stephen’s here to save the day with wine and advice. Gabe provided the ride and the snacks.

“Summers said to let him field all the communication with in the meantime.”

“He’s is the exact person you want handling this right now,” Stephen says, sounding approving. “That or his assistant, I know him, he’s very good.”

Stephen and Andreas’ acquaintanceship makes me happy to think about.

When Jared nudges a knee against his, checking in, Bryce gives him a small, tired looking smile, then offers him a piece of chocolate.

<3333 team

“This is not a cat back in bag situation,” Stephen says.

“Such a cruel metaphor,” Gabe murmurs.

I’m with Gabe. Why has the idiom about drowning cats survived to present day?

“General consensus seems to be that you guys were toying with the fans, dropping hints about your relationship to see if anyone would pick up on it,” Gabe says. “That or that you wanted to tell the world but the Evil Flames Management got in the way and the article was your S.O.S. to the wider world but everyone missed it. Those are the two prevailing theories, at least.”

The internet loves itself a conspiracy, and with hindsight, a lot of Jared and Bryce’s stumbles in hiding their relationship look like bread crumbs rather than fuck ups.

But regardless, cat is very much out of bag, stop looking at me, Gabriel, I’m not hurting cats by saying it.”

“You could use a different metaphor,” Gabe says mildly. “A more humane one.”

Love you, Gabriel.

It’s not actually all that late when Stephen and Gabe head out, but between the situation and the information overload Jared’s gotten from Stephen, and Summers, and Greg when he interrupted shoving pizza into their mouths to reiterate most of what Summers had said, except sounding kind of panicky the whole time, well —

Poor Greg. He’s doing this best.

“Is it bad that I feel, I don’t know,” Jared says.

“Relieved?” Bryce asks.

Jared turns his head, meets Bryce’s eye. It wasn’t the word he was going to use, but it feels like the right one.

Other shoe dropped. World didn’t end.

“I never told you this,” Bryce says, “but before he pulled the strings to get me to Vancouver, Summers told me he was going to ask me a question first, and if I said no the entire deal was off.”

Jared rolls over to look at Bryce. It’s too dark to see him, really, but this feels like the kind of conversation to have face to face.

“He asked if I was still willing to come to the Canucks if coming here lead to me getting outed,” Bryce says. “I didn’t even hesitate, J. He couldn’t even finish getting the question out before I said yes.”

Oh Bryce.

“I wouldn’t have hesitated either,” Jared says. “I just — I wouldn’t have either.”

There’s a flash of teeth in the dark. A grin Jared doesn’t even need to see properly to be a sucker for.

“Yeah, babe,” Bryce says. “I know.”

Not a doubt in Bryce’s mind.

[beelsbignaturals]

🐄 DEMON FORMS: BELPHEGOR 💤

AN: thanks void for helping w the tags ♡♡♡ also jsyk my requests are open and I am gonna be working on them slowly but surely. I have a con in like... a little over a week? So I'm a lil busy rn but thank u for the love on my creepy demon posts. As always you can check the obey me world building tag on my blog to see the other parts of this series :3

inspiration for this part: honestly, nothing specific unless you count like,,, The Hat Man

TWs: body horror, possession, sleep paralysis, mentions of insanity, mentions of psychosis, lesson 16 mention, demons being demons

● Okay, Level 1.5 belphie is more common than a regular human looking belphie because he can't be bothered most of the time. Also, he doesn't like humans that aren't you, so why would he want to be palatable for them? He has permanent eyebags. He goes back and forth between blinking way too fast or not at all. Which …Is unsettling. He can stare for hours and fall asleep like that. He has cow ears, and his tail is out because he plays with the fluffy part as a stress response. It makes him feel safe (probably bc beel will brush his tail for him when it gets all tangled, and he secretly LOVES it. Puts him to sleep in seconds.) Speaking of sleep, if you look directly at Belphie, he is very…. Fuzzy looking. Like you just woke up and everything's blurry, but it's only him that looks like this. 

Today is the day you learn demons can purr. You knock on the door of the twins' room, entering when you hear a quiet "come in." Perhaps you expected to see Belphie napping on Beel's back while the larger twin does push-ups. You certainly didn't think you'd see the pair sitting on the floor, Belphegor's tail being meticulously detangled by his brother. Belphie looks a bit like a house cat, curled up on the floor, eyes closed and purring as his tail occasionally swishes about. You silently take a video and leave before Belphie wakes up and forces you to delete it.

● Level 2. His tail grows large thorns, perfect for thwacking anyone who annoys him. He constantly smells like lavender and something else that no one can for sure define, but if you stand too close, you will get drowsy. Everything about him seems a bit… uncanny valley. He doesn't look terrifying so much as he looks…. Just,,,, Incorrect. His breathing sounds like a white noise machine.  This is the form he takes during lesson 16. He chooses it specifically so he doesn't make you run immediately. 

Despite the trauma that you experienced, you have learned to find comfort in Belphegor's demon form. Sometimes, you doze off to the sound of his breathing while your hands play with the soft fur of his ears. On more than one occasion, you have compared Belphie to one of the children from Polar Express, which got you smacked in the face by his tail. But even when you get on his last nerve, he is careful not to cut you with the sharp barbs on his tail. A silent apology for killing you once upon a time.

● Level 3. Goodbye sleepy, cozy weirdness, and hello sleep paralysis demon. The thorns on his tail get larger and spread to cover his arms. His eyelids just. Fuck off. He doesn't have them anymore. Jeff the Killer looking bitch. The longer you look at him the more…absolutely fucking AWFUL he looks. Five minutes? He has double the normal amount of teeth. Ten? His horns are casting shadows that look like every nightmare you've ever had. Twenty and all of a sudden you are literally frozen in place. If he's feeling kind, he will use magic to knock you unconscious. If not, you are going to be stuck like this until well after he leaves. If he leaves. Also, he eats dreams.

You will occasionally wake up in the dead of night to the sound of raspy breathing. When you look up, you find a pair of eyes staring intently at you. In the first few seconds after waking, your dreams are so incredibly vivid that it shocks you when they dissappear from your memory, as if it never happened. You yawn, throwing a pillow at the demon's face. Which causes Belphie to laugh, not losing balance from his perch at the end of your bed for even a second.

● Level 4. He is more mist than corporeal. He can be more on the solid side. He just prefers not to. If he is in this form, hold your breath and run. Breathing in any of the mist has…. Very bad side effects. You might find yourself unable to sleep ever again, no matter how tired, until eventually you go insane. Or perhaps living your worst nightmares is more your speed? Either way, it's absolutely horrifying, and he doesn't even have to do any work to destroy you. He just makes you do that yourself. If he likes you, he can make the effects a lot less awful. Breathing in the mist is literally breathing Belphegor, so he can also read your mind (all the better to find your deepest fears). You can hear a whispery voice in the back of your head… that's him. He likes to hang out and chat with Beel like this. Or plot anti-Lucifer activities with Satan since only the person he is possessing can hear him. He can suggest you do all sorts of things, and if you aren't paying attention, you might think it's your body working on its own. If he talks normally while just being a cloud of mist, his voice is surprisingly loud, encompassing the whole room.

A tiny voice, one you know all too well, speaks in the back of your mind. The first time this happened, you thought it was your conscious or something. Perhaps a psychotic break. But no, it is just the youngest of the seven demons you live with. Belphie enjoys backseat driving while you go about your day. He laughs when you trip (honestly, it might be him that caused it...), makes jokes at the most inappropriate times, causing you to choke on your own spit, trying to suppress laughter. And when someone is being particularly rude, he gets rather descriptive in his insults. But hey, he means well. You think.

[simcardiac-arrested]

Whats wrong with predator 2018?

it’s been like 10 days i’m tired but i CANNOT stay silent anymore The world deserves to know. you will not believe how awful this movie is

1. the moment the movie starts you just understand that it…is not going to be good. it was made in 2018 so of course it has that edgy self aware marvel humor of Uhmm he’s right behind me isn’t he ? (and then you check shane black’s other works and he directed iron man 3 and everything suddenly make sense) LIKE IM SERIOUS there’s just a scene in the first 10 minutes where this Woman In Stem character goes Lol why did we name this thing The Predator? it’s more like a Hunter or a Huntsman it’s more like a Bass Fisherman LIKE WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? WHAT AM I HEARING RN? it’s so fucking stupid and i hate this type of humor so much like CAN U BELIEVE WE’RE IN A MOVIE? ABOUT THE PREDATOR (DUMBASS NAME (LOL))????

2. i mention the Woman In Stem character specifically because she is. also not good. i’m not going to act like the predator movies have always been the best with female characters (even 1987 has its issues) but at least they were actually BEARABLE. The girl character in this movie is just like. this annoying 2010s smartass quirky girl archetype that we put in our movie because you wanted Women(tm) right? there she is we even made her quirky!!! we’re not going to give her a single likable quality though. we’re going to write her Bad . is this what u wanted ?

3. which is not trying to imply that the other characters are written Good . they’re all written Bad they all fucking suck. none of them have any charm or likable qualities and there’s nothing to get invested in. AND THEY DON’T HAVE ANY FUCKING DYNAMICS BETWEEN EACHOTHER!!!! it’s like they just exist in the same space and that’s It . they don’t get any interesting relationships or interactions . they’re all just so nothing

4. like halfway through the movie it just turns into unapologetic US army propaganda—which is fucking ironic if you know what the original predator was made for (commentary about american terrorism in central america in the 80s under reagan)—the main character’s wife just starts suddenly going off about how he’s so cool and doing so much for his country and he’s in the army waowww wowww We need to shoot everyone who’s worked on this movie and im serious.

5. i…..do not know who this movie was made for. like who is it supposed to cater to? one of its main things is autism and mental illness and yet it has the shittiest portrayal of both. But especially autism. like what if we made a movie about how autism is the next step in human evolution (?!) and autistic people are like superheroes basically (?!?!!!?) and the entire plot hinges on the fact that The Predator wants to become autistic by stealing the autistic character’s autism dna (?!?!?!?!?!?!?? WHAT? WHY ARE THERE EUGENICS IN MY PREDATOR MOVIE? IS ANYONE ELSE SEEING THIS?) (and then the autistic character in question like. actually has unironic superpowers. look he gets overwhelmed by sounds but he can instantly understand and translate predator’s alien language!!!!!!!!) And then the next minute one of the characters says Lol isn’t it crazy how we can’t say the r slur anymore? Fucked up world. LIKE SERIOUSLY WHO IS THIS MOVIE FOR? I FEEL LIKE THIS MOVIE WOULD PISS OFF BOTH THE “WOKE” AND THE “EDGY ALT RIGHT” AUDIENCES EQUALLY . shane black probably thinks autism speaks is a charity i dont even know

6. too much predator in this movie. When i say that they should make a predator movie where every scene has the predator in it YOU SHOULDNT FUCKING LISTEN TO ME IM JUST AUTISTIC. a predator movie is a THRILLER The Fucking Predator himself should appear like. a few times at least until the climax. but nooo this 2018 ass movie just has the predator running around in every scene (btw this predator moves really fucking weird in a human way. Like they usually at least make him move semi alien-like and uncannily, but this movie didnt even bother with that) (also their design is uglier than the original) (also it suffers from the same problem as the 2010 movie by adding a Bigger Cooler Buffer Awesomer Deadlier New Predator LIKE WHO ASKED FOR THIS. WAS MY OG WIFE NOT ENOUGH FOR U) Anyway yeah if you didnt get it yet: this movie doesnt understand what impact or subtlety is. at all

7. the worst thing is with the finale. you see every predator sequel loves to reference the original 1987 movie because well, it’s iconic! it has a lot of meaningful moments and lines! Specifically in the ending of the original movie, where the main character asks the predator “what the hell are you?” and the predator echoes it back at him. Supposed to symbolize us army = monsters who kill without meaning yadda yadda u get it. anyway so in the 2018 movie finale they start to reference this moment too. the main character asks And what the fuck are you (ooo f bomb we’re SOOOO edgy and 2018core) and when the predator starts asking it back the main character just goes SHUT THE FUCK UP😂 and shoots him. it’s like. my hatred for this movie was indescribable at that moment. I’ve never actually genuinely watched a marvel movie so i just took people at their word when they said it was a genre of movie that fucking hated movies. but after watching the predator (2018) which is basically a marvel version of predator? yeah i get it. What if they made a movie that hated its source material and had 0 respect for it. and also hated its audience. and hated being a movie

8. they made the dogs ugly

[lxvejohnny]

The endless beginning

part three

scream VI fanfiction with implied ethan x oc!

find part one here and part two here. enjoy!

By the time Amelie and Ethan made it to her apartment, Tara, Mindy, Chad, and Anika were already inside. After hearing the door open again, Tara figured it would be Amelie and decided she should probably go talk to her about the conversation they had outside the party. She enters the living room and calls out Amelie’s name when she sees her take her shoes off at the front door. Amelie’s head perks up when she hears Tara call her name and understands it’s more than likely to talk about earlier.

The two girls make their way to the kitchen and Ethan decides to sit on the chair in front of the front door, joining Mindy and Anika.

“I am so sorry-”

“Look, I’m sorry for-“

The two girls started at the same time and begin letting out small laughs. Tara nods at Amelie to go first.

“I’m sorry for whatever I said back there, I get where you are coming from, just trying to move on and all and I’m here just teaming up with Sam which I am sure did not help whatsoever,” Amelie shakes her head and speaks to Tara sincerely. She was angry, yes, but she also shouldn’t have jumped the boat and get mad at Tara like she did.

“No, no, no, don’t apologize, Amie, I should not have said what I did back there,” Tara says and puts her hands on either side of Amelie’s arms. “We all went through tough shit, but I cannot say anything about how you are feeling because what you went through was worse than what anyone of us did.”

Amelie’s eyebrows furrow in confusion, yeah what she experienced was bad, but Tara can’t just say she had it less than what Amelie did. “No, Tara, look. We both went through awful stuff, and we shouldn’t compare, really.”

“You guys are my family, really. Since my, uh, my dad-“ She pauses and swallows the lump in her throat before continuing. “Died. My mom just kind of wants nothing to do with me as much as she used to. Well, she didn’t much anyway which is why I was living with my dad but, you know.”

“Yeah, I know,” Tara replies nodding her head. “I’m just sorry- still. You are my family, too and I love you and I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I forgive you,” Amelie chuckles. “I love you, too.”

The two girls hug for a minute before releasing. Tara’s hands remain on Amelie’s arms as she lowers her voice. “Chad and I had a moment before you came here.”

“I knew it!” Amelie’s eyes widen as a smile creep up onto her face. “I figured there was something going on between you two.”

Tara shushes her but can’t contain the grin on her face as she smiles back at the brunette in front of her. Tara’s eyes look out the kitchen to peer into the living room where Ethan is sitting and looks back at Amelie with her eyebrows raised. Amelie can tell what Tara was wanting to say, but instead brought up Dean. "So, that guy you had a steamy makeout with?"

Amelie blushed at the mention of being caught making out with the guy, about to fill her in about Dean before they got interrupted by Chad who told them to come into the living room. Tara looks at Amelie again, “we will continue this later.”

Amelie nods and smiles before heading to the chair Ethan was sitting on and places herself on the arm of the single chair. The left side of her body touching Ethan at every move she makes.

Sam walks in shortly after with their neighbour from across the hall, recognizing him from whenever she would catch Sam looking at him shirtless through the window.

“Cute boy, nice,” Quinn comments with a smile when she sees the boy behind Sam.

Suddenly everyone in the room quiets down as they invest to the news that is on the TV. A reporter looks to be at a crime scene where he talks about two bodies, by the names of Jason and Greg, that were found dead in their apartment. Amelie stiffens as the reporter continues. This felt familiar, all too familiar for her and she hated it.

“Holy shit, that’s that chode from our film studies class. The one obsessed with Argento,” Mindy gasps when the reporter said the names of the bodies. Amelie remembers him now; Jason was the guy who stopped Tara and her when they were on the way to the party to ask if Sam was going.

She zoned back into the reporter to hear him start talking about how Jason and Greg collected various Ghostface costumes in their apartment. She felt her throat seize and her hands start to tremble. No, God please no, not again.

“Oh, my god,” Amelie says out of breath, though she hasn’t moved she feels as though the wind has been completely knocked out of her. She turns to look at the sisters beside her and they share a look, they all had the same feeling that it is starting again.

“Pack a bag, we leave in ten,” Sam says as she rushes to the kitchen. “You too, Amelie.”

“Sam! Wait, Sam!” Tara calls out to her as she rises from her seat. Amelie gets up but doesn’t make any moves to advance. Ethan sits up straighter in his chair and watches as Amelie’s mood plumets again for the fourth time this evening. He quickly glances to the couch where Quinn sits, and she gives him a pointed look ever so subtly. And so it begins, he thinks. But God, did he ever hate how scared it was making Amelie.

“We are getting out of the city,” Sam says from the kitchen. Amelie can hear shuffling from the living room and sighs heavily before running her hand through her hair.

“What?” Danny calls quizzically as he also hears Sam’s plan on leaving. He was beyond lost and Amelie could tell he had no clue what was happening or why the tension in the air became so thick.

“Thank you very much suspicious new guy, but I think we got it from here. Goodnight, get home safe, go, go, go, go,” Chad took his que and began shooing Danny out of the apartment. He closes the door and makes sure to lock it.

“Sam! Sam!” Tara calls out to Sam. It seems as if Sam as also gone tunnel vision, focusing on browsing a weapon and getting the hell out of their apartment as fast as she could go.

“Hold on,” Sam says as she picks a knife and walks back to the living room.

“Woah, woah, Sam” Amelie finally sees the knife in Sam’s hand and advances towards her to put the sharp object down.

“Wait, let’s talk about this for a second because this-this might not have anything to do with us,” Tara tries again to try and reason with Sam before she continues to panic.

“Are you serious?” Sam replies incredulously.

“It’s a big city! It’s Halloween, everybody is wearing masks!” Tara tries to rationalize with Sam. She made a big deal earlier that night about not wanting to dwell on that past, on Ghostface, and then suddenly a murder is committed on students who had a ghost face shrine. Is it suspicious that the mask has had relevancy in the crime? Yes. But could it just be a massive coincidence? Absolutely.

“Tara, Tara, this isn’t a coincidence. You knew him,” Almost as if she read Tara’s mind.

“Barely,” Tara replies weakly.

“Chad, Mindy, Amie, back me up,” Sam needs reassurance. She is so certain that this is happening again and she doesn’t want to feel crazy for being the only one to think so.

“I mean it is a little bit-“ Chad begins with a pained look on his face.  

“Close to home,” Mindy finishes for Chad and puts another piece of popcorn into her mouth.

Sam nods in relief and looks towards the short girl who hasn’t said anything yet. “Amelie?”

She looks at Sam and then Tara and then the Twins. Tara is not going to like this, but she can’t help the sinking feeling in her gut at this whole situation. So, with a grimace she agrees. “It does feel all too familiar, Tara.”

“See?”

“Well, Quinn! Your dad’s a cop, right? Can you call him and find out what’s going on?” She says looking at their red-headed roommate before turning back to Sam “Before you make the Unilateral decision to abandon our college education-“ Tara gestures with her hand between herself and Amelie ”-and flee the fucking state.”

“I’m calling him now,” Quinn pipes up with her phone already to her ear.

“Thank you,“ Tara sighs.

Suddenly Sam’s phone starts ringing and the group of friends all jump, looking towards the noise. Sam slowly advances to it with Tara and Amelie hot on her tail.

“Who is it?” Tara asks when she sees Sam peer down at her phone on the table. Amelie glances and sees Gale’s name on the screen before rushing to try and pick it up herself “Hey! You should answer-“  

Before she gets the chance to swipe the phone Sam declines the call. She looks at Sam incredulously, “What the hell? You should have answered it.”

“No, Amie, we cannot talk to her. Especially right now, actually,” Sam shakes her head. It felt like Sam was Amelie’s older sister, being scolded and told not to do stuff. She understands why she doesn’t want any of them talking to Gale since she did write about them in her new book, as usual, but it was Gale. Her dad’s Gale. As Amelie was about to fight back, her phone began ringing in her back pocket. The group of friends jumped again at the second ringing phone.

“Why did everyone just freak out when her phone rang?” Ethan asks and then adds, “Again?”

He knew why, of course he knew why, but he couldn’t have them thinking that he did. So, he plays confused and innocent just like he was meant to do.

“You got to keep up my dude,” Anika replies, almost tiredly.

Amelie pulls her phone out and sees Gale’s name pop up again. Sam looks at her and shakes her head. “No, no, do not answer it.”

“But Sam, it’s Gale, okay? I know Gale-“ Amelie starts before Sam reaches over and presses decline on her phone again. “Sam, what the hell?”

“Yeah, and I know her too, Amie,” Sam says. Sure, Gale helped them a lot back at the attacks that happened last year but since then, she has done nothing good for Sam and she will hold to that. Amelie gets where she is coming from, really. Gale had promised to not write another book about the trauma's of the new Ghostface murders, and then she did just that. Amelie looks back down at her phone when she feels it vibrate.

Gale: Did you see the news?

Gale: Mel, please call me.

Gale: I think it is happening again.

Gale: I love you, stay safe. Please let me know if you need anything.

Amelie was angry at Gale at the beginning, after what felt like forever she finally brought herself to read the new book and was just so mad when it came to parts that alluded to her and her dad. Luckily for her though, Gale couldn't find it in her to write such crude things about her like she did to Amelie's friends. But, Amelie managed to get over any negative feelings towards Gale after they got into an argument about the whole situation. Gale was also the last adult figure she had in her life who genuinely cared for her, and after losing Dewey, she couldn't afford losing Gale, too.

“Sam, my dad wants to talk to you,” Quinn perks up again and begins handing the phone to Sam.

“Mr. Bailey, hi.”

~

Soon enough they heard that Sam needed to head to the police station because Quinn’s dad needs to talk to her. After finding out that her license was at the crime scene, Sam’s nerves seemed to rise even higher than they were before. After all the public humiliation she has already faced from the accusations that she was the last Woodsboro killer and that her ex was innocent, she felt like this was another ploy in someone’s plan. How the hell did her ID end up at the crime scene?

As Sam rushes out the door with her coat in hand, Tara and Amelie look at each other already with the same idea in mind. The two girls go to grab their coats in their respected rooms before coming back out and head to the door. There was no way they would let Sam go off by herself, if Sam wants to be protective over them then they are also going to be of her. As Amelie walks closer to the door and slips her shoes on, Ethan comes up to her and grabs her arm to stop moving. She looks up at him curiously.

“Maybe you should just stay here, with us,” Ethan gestures his head back to the rest of the group that is sitting in the living room still. Chad who stands the closest to the two nods at Ethan’s words. “You don’t know what could happen out there with just the three of you, especially if there is a killer out there.”

“I will be fine, Ethan, trust me,” Amelie pulls her arm out of his hold to slip her hand down to grab his. “I just can’t let Sam go by herself.”

Ethan looks at her, pleading her with his eyes to just stay here with them. He isn’t sure where this confidence has come from. Sure, he sees her often and they hang out quite a bit from being in the same friend group and all, but he is always so nervous to make a move to even talk to her. Maybe her forwardness this whole night with him has given him some courage or the need to prove he is better than Dean, he isn’t sure, but he just knows that he wants to try his best to keep her from leaving the apartment. He wants her safe, that isn’t a lie, but he also needs her to stay away from Sam so she doesn’t get hurt. His dad won’t stop his conquest and won’t hesitate to hurt anyone in his way, no matter their importance to his son.

Amelie sees that he is worried and sees that her friends also want her and Tara to stay there but they can’t and will not let Sam go all alone. So, as much as she would like to stay home, she lets go of Ethan’s hand and pulls her coat onto her body before heading to the open the door.

“I will call you if we need help, I promise,” She looks at him in his eyes with the upmost sincerity she can. “We will be back as soon as we can.”

Ethan sighs and closes his eyes as the two girls walk out the door and rush to the stairs. Dammit.

“Sam!” Amelie shouts running down the stairs with Tara.

“Sam, slow down,” Tara calls out.

“Guys, no. Get back inside, lock the door,” Sam turns around in shock and pushes the two back.

“Are you serious? Now you don’t want to stick together?” Tara says in disbelief. Amelie follows directly after with, “There is no way we aren’t going with you, Sam.”

“Fine,” Sam says defeated. She knows that she could push and push and push the girls as much as she can, but she also knows that they are just as stubborn as her. They are a team, after all. So, that’s what the girls do. They stick beside each other and start to walk down the street to the police station. Occasionally Tara and Amelie will go back and forth to look behind them, just making sure there is no one following them or is running up with a knife in hand. However, their moment of peace didn’t last too long before Sam’s phone started ringing again. Amelie felt her heart leap for the fiftieth time that night when she sees Richie’s contact come up.

“What the fuck?” and “He’s fucking dead” comes out of Tara and Amelie’s mouth at the same time.

“I never deleted his contact. This is coming from his number,” Sam says in realization. She looks at it determined; she was going to answer it. Amelie’s eyes widen.

“Don’t pick that up. Just let it ring,” Sam picks it up.

“Sam-“ Tara tries before Sam starts talking to the phone.

“Who is this?”

“Hello, Samantha. Did you miss me?” Ghostface.

“I want you to think long and hard about whether you want to do this because the last two people that fucked with us, ended up dead,” If there was anything Sam was going to do this time around, was not let Ghostface get to her. She was going to become worse, so much worse.

“You should be thanking me, Sam. Jason and Greg were gonna kill you and your two girls there. I gutted them before they had the chance,” Ghostface replies menacingly. The girls look around them to see if they can spot the person on the phone with them. They all stop as they look ahead and see a man in all black, coincidently on the phone, walk towards them.  

“So what? You’re protecting us now?” Sam replies curiously. What the hell was the killer playing at this time around?  

“Not quite. I’m going to show the world who you really are, a liar and a killer. I am going to punish you, Sam.”

“You shouldn’t believe everything you read on the internet, asshole.”

“Don’t be cute, you’re going to pay for what you did and I’m not gonna stop until I butcher you- you and anyone who gets between us! You three better watch your backs.”

“You better watch yours.”

Ghostface comes up behind Tara and grabs her, raising his knife to stab before Tara elbows him in the face and Amelie rushes to push him back into a bush behind him.

“Come on, go!” The three girls run as the masked guy starts to get up to chase after them. The three turn the corner where they see a small bodega to their right and barge through the door. Amelie already feels like crying and they were only being chased. But she knew that being chased wasn’t all that was going to happen today, it never is.

“Help, please!”

“Please! Please help us! We were attacked!”

“Please call 911!”

“There’s a man out there!”

The three girls start shouting to the guy behind the counter, nothing but pure adrenaline and fear laced through their body. They needed help and they were going to let anyone know.

“There’s a fucking line here girls,” Some guy says behind them. Amelie turns to him with a crazed look on her face. They are yelling for help and some guy is worried about a line. Soon enough Ghostface comes in and the man worried about the line faces up to him. “You got a problem here, guy?”

Ghostface tilts their head before he starts stabbing him repeatedly. The girls gasp and the other people in the bodega start to run out. Another man tries to come behind the masked person, but his efforts don’t work well as he is turned around and stabbed in the throat. As if the two guys were nothing, Ghostface straightens up menacingly and looks at the three girls. Amelie has dealt with Ghostface before but this time it feels so different. This time it feels too powerful, and she is scared. 

Right as Ghostface is about to start stomping his way towards the three, the sound of a shotgun clicks before cashier yells out “Hey!” and takes a shot at the masked figure. Unfortunately, he misses but it gave the girls enough time to duck away.

“Go out the back!” The cashier nudges his head towards the door and Tara yells out a “Thank you!”

“Fuck it's locked,” Tara tries to open the door and it doesn’t budge. It’s fucking locked, of course it’s fucking locked, Amelie thinks. Her clammy hands are getting shakier by the second and she wishes more than anything now that she just stayed at the apartment with her friends, with Ethan, like he had pleaded her to. She thinks about them now and wonders if there’s any way she can warn them.

She turns back to the cashier and yells, “Keys! We need your keys!”

As the poor man fumbles to unhook his keys from his belt, Ghostface comes up behind him.

“Watch out, watch out, watch out!” The girls all call out, Amelie pointing behind him as they see Ghostface grab the guy and stab him in the shoulder. Ghostface goes to grab the gun and hits him across the face then as the guy pleads to not get shot. To no avail, Ghostface cocks the gun and pulls the trigger, aiming right for the man’s head. Amelie gasps and closes her eyes too late, seeing the man’s head blown to pieces and all over the fridge he was leaning against. Her stomach churns as they all duck behind an aisle. On their hands and knees, the girls try their best to not make a sound. They hear the sound of the gun being pumped again and Amelie swallows, she feels sick and can’t stop her body from trembling.

Sam shushes them, trying her best to tell the girls to stay as quiet as they can. They stop their movements as they hear the crunch of the glass and food under Ghostface’s shoes and slowly look around. He takes a shot, and they flinch from the sudden sound. Ghostface has always been dangerous and while Amelie dreaded that stupid slasher knife, there is nothing she would rather more than to see that knife in his hand instead of a fucking shotgun.

Right before the killer jumps around the corner they once were hiding, they quietly make their way around the end of the aisle to hide from his field of vision. Tara and Amelie hold each other’s hand as tears run down their face and they shake. Amelie uses her free hand to cover her mouth to try and silence the sound of her heavy breathing. She looks to her other side where Sam squishes up against her. She sees her reach to grab an empty can and throws it away from them to distract Ghostface.

Luckily, it seems to work, and he moves away from the aisle they were in, and the three girls crawl back around to it. Their hands crunch under the glass and shards get stuck and cut Amelie’s hand as they crawl. She winces and tries her best to not cry out at the sharp pain. It seems as if the masked figure can hear the crunching sounds coming from the girls and stops moving. Sam peeks between the aisle and sees as he turns their way. The three girls push the shelf onto him as he takes another shot, the aisle causing him to fall back, and his shot aims for the ceiling.

“Run!” Sam yells out and they take it as their chance to escape. Amelie looks at the ground as she passes by to the doorway where the bodies lay and sees the pools of blood. She slips as her shoes step in the red substance while running out before Tara, still gripping onto her hand, pulls her back up and they make it outside. Police cars starting pilling in and the three turn back around to look in the bodega. What they see is exactly what they expected, bloody bodies on the ground and the back door of the bodega open. On the ground a clean Ghostface mask lays menacingly. Amelie looks at the two sisters and their chests rise and fall rapidly from their heavy breathing. It’s fucking happening again, and Amelie feels her heart stop. She wants to tear her eyes away so bad from the scene in the small shop in front of her, but she can’t seem to be able to. Because as she looks inside and stares at the mask, at the bodies, at the blood and then back to herself where blood got onto her clothes and hands, she sees it. This was her life, and she doesn’t know if this time around she will get so lucky. However this saga may continue, it will either be her friends laying in a pool of blood like those in the bodega and she stares from the outside. Or it will be her bloody body, drained from this curse she has been stuck to live with.

[josiebelladonna]

”social media seems to be drying up!! why??” says the influencer on threads.

probably because:

ads are a dime a dozen

videos are a dime a dozen

you put those two things together and sites are an absolute bitch to load, even if you have good internet

certain sites, like recipe sites, are nearly impossible to load in one sitting anymore (and i’m glad the “cooked.wiki/“ shortcut exists)

you have this new generation of users that treats everything like “content” and wants everything to be “relatable”, no matter what the site is or who’s involved

said new generation is primarily and inexplicably under the age of 20, i.e., it’s not safe for nsfw accounts anymore (dude, i literally saw something on instagram earlier called instagram teens, and the only thought running through my mind was “oh, for god’s sake…” because it’s rectifying a symptom rather than a root cause)

said new generation gives more fucks about their fucking ~mutuals~ rather than things that do have essence like reading, learning, and real friendships, things that feel authentic and you don’t have to go out of your goddamn way to talk about them at every drop of the hat

sites change their rules, regulations, and layouts like how people change their underwear, and it’s almost always without warning, and it’s always disorienting, too

aside from say, livejournal, ao3, or dreamwidth, sites look exactly the same now, such that you often forget which site you’re on and you need to be mindful

with the exception of tumblr, freedom of speech doesn’t seem to be a thing anymore, and even on here, you have reams of people self-censoring and resultantly ruining an already jacked tagging system

social activism is so exhausting now—in my experience, it was getting exhausting when trump was in office (one of the reasons why i went quiet for the most part when he was in office; i just knew it was going to be bad). threads is probably the one exception but for the most part, it feels like all anyone wants to do is scream and be completely condescending about what they believe in. in the case of people who are pro-palestine, they’re belligerent and completely deaf to their own antics. shit gets on your nerves quick.

speaking of, there’s an awful lot of talk of “mental health awareness”, but is there anything being done? in my view, nothing has been done. you’re more focused on being aware that this thing exists and you jump to conclusions about someone who’s actually honest about their feelings and their experiences, and it’s only because you want brownie points. and since you’re too egotistical and too far detached from your own humanity, i fully expect you to argue with me on this.

there’s just something phony about the whole thing. look no further than the kinktober tag, believe it or not: writing about what other people want to see rather than what you like all for the lulz, the brownie points, and the new ~mutuals~ so it feels very synthetic and inadvertently anti-fanfic. it’s like, i get that fic is inherently amateurish. i get that completely. but i can read a fic from 2006 and see what they’re getting at. these fics are often incomprehensible at worst—i have probably asked “am i just too old for this?” more times than i ever would’ve liked in the last four years alone it’s hard to believe anything you read, really. true sincerity is written off as nonsense (and in my case, straight-up ostracized) while extravagance is praised. people who go off about authenticity at every opportunity are oddly fake, too: why feel a need to talk when you can just be?

art doesn’t exist anymore. …let me rephrase this: somewhere along the way, art became more and more about the business side rather than actually making it, and somewhere along the way, it all started to homogenize itself. all the faces look the same. the methods look the same. the techniques look the same. there is also the lingering existential threat of ai, scraping away at digital art and photography for its bubbling cauldron of a database, so you don’t trust pieces of art now. rather than connect to humanity, you look at it like it’s about to steal your money and your clothes.

no one can go out and suck anymore. you might have seen posts on here telling you that you are free to be cringe but even those feel phoned in. again, why not just be?

[covenofthearticulate]

It’s still Valentine’s day in my timezone quick everyone reblog some good old fashioned Loustat while armandblr isn’t looking!

“You can’t be serious.” Louis can’t help from scoffing. 

“Why the hell not? Stranger things have happened, darling.”

Lestat had come to expect this sort of reaction. He relished it, in fact. The facial journey alone was award worthy— those wide-set emerald eyes fluttering with shock, the tug of his brow in confusion, concern, embarrassment, and finally the flicker of outright anger at Lestat for having the audacity to present him with such a gift in the first place. 

“I didn’t ask for strange, I asked for uneventful. It’s a frivolous holiday monopolized by commercial industries preying on dull, horny idiots.”

“I’m trying to evolve here, Louis! The mortals celebrate it, and so we shall celebrate it too. And as the resident dull horny idiot in this household, I happen to take umbrage with your sentiment.”

He leans in to christen his argument with a kiss, but Louis catches his face between a web of ten long fingers. 

“I love you. But I am not going to put that thing up my ass.”

Silence, for a moment, as Lestat freezes under Louis’ gaze, as he often does, a deer in the proverbial headlights. The seriousness with which Louis speaks almost has him fooled for a moment, as if this is a matter of life and death, but when the words finally reach Lestat’s brain, Louis has the pleasure of watching the laughter bubble up through his brilliantly animated features until he’s downright howling. 

“Louis!” He gasps between the full-bodied cackles, hands clinging desperately to the unshapely sweater hanging from his lover’s shoulder. 

“Well, I’m not!” Louis says, and he sounds every bit the young man he once was, twenty-five and full of fire once more. Willing to die on any hill.

Lestat twists his head out of Louis’ grip, flops forward to lean his forehead against the other’s shoulder for a moment as he catches his breath, before turning around and slumping down into Louis’ lap like a touch-starved mutt. Hooking his elbows over Louis’ knees, he stares at the offending device left on the sheets before them. 

It’s unassuming— sleek and black and curved at what Lestat can only imagine is the perfect angle. Six whole vibration settings and a wireless remote control. Refined. Luxurious. Powerful. 

Out of everything in the shop, it had been the one thing Louis had begruglingly admitted would “most likely achieve it’s intended purpose without the absurd showmanship of bright colors or multi-faceted bits and bobs,” which, in his own exceedingly diplomatic manner, was his way of saying That’s the one I’d probably hate the least, which in turn meant a big ol’ fat maybe.  

And that was good enough for Lestat. 

He trusted Louis, of course. Louis had been his master, after all, in the art of contemporary lovemaking. Try as he might to deny it in the company of others, Louis had assimilated completely during those years in San Francisco. Lestat may flaunt his affairs and exaggerate his lust, but it is Louis who truly knows what it means to be queer in the twenty-first century. It’s Louis who haunted the nightclubs up and down Castro, it’s Louis who dedicated his scholarly pursuits towards new vocabularies and strange turns of phrase, it was Louis who stood in awe, enraptured by the colors of the rainbow flag with every bit of gobsmacked wonder he’d possessed in those fledgling years.

His composure inside that tiny corner store had shocked Lestat at first, but he knew well enough that it was all an act, just as much as the flustered pearl-clutching was an act in front of just about anyone who breathed. But this wasn’t Louis the poised gentleman; this was Louis, the seasoned veteran of hanky codes and crisco. It had stunned Lestat, in fact, to watch the fine line Louis so expertly threaded as they stalked arm in arm down the aisles. Never too interested, nor too put off by any one thing. There were a few golden moments when, despite his best efforts, Lestat caught a flicker of curiosity in his eyes. But this was always covered by a dull pedantic remark (“If you’re going to jam the word ‘cum’ into a completely non-related word, at least make sure the number of syllables remains the same. That’s just preposterous.”)

As far as dates go, it wasn’t half-bad. 

But snickering around an adult shop is very different than bringing home the most expensive toy on the shelf. This is no longer a gag or a funny mortal custom; suddenly this is a leap of faith, and Lestat is plummeting headfirst into the unstoppable, immovable object that is the love of his life, Louis de Pointe du Lac.

Oh, god. You really fucked this one, Lestat.

He shuffles back against Louis, twists one strand of black hair around his finger, and he turns his head for one moment, forehead tucked under Louis’ chin. He takes a breath, feels the solid form of his lover beneath him, and is reminded of why he bought that stupid piece of silicone in the first place. Such a finely made thing, his Louis. They’d spent so many hours, in this lifetime and the last, on a never-ending quest for pleasure in all it’s many forms and fashions. Lestat has given him everything— body, soul, the very blood in his veins. But this is new. This is something Lestat cannot offer. And he wants Louis to have it, wants him to find new ways to feel good, new pleasure that makes these long centuries worth living.

“What have you got to lose, mon coeur?” 

“It’s not that I have anything to lose…I simply don’t think there’s much to gain. What I mean to say is, you don’t truly believe that sort of thing would still have any effect on us, do you?”

“I don’t know!” His own jilted laughter makes him cringe— it’s always the laughter that gives him away in the end, isn’t it? “Isn’t it delightful, not knowing? Don’t you want to find out?”

“I don’t know,” Louis quips, which earns him a smack on the arm.

“Pfft, coward.”

“I’m not a coward, Lestat, and you’re not going to goad me into this.”

“Who’s goading? I’m not goading. Just disappointed my gift won’t be enjoyed.”

“I never said that.” He replies, and suddenly his voice is just a little bit lower and when Lestat turns he’s met with those two goddamn laser beams and he swears he’ll disintegrate any second now.

“Lestat,” Louis says in that voice, which…okay, yeah, it’s go time.

“Hmm?”

“I believe a demonstration is in order.”

[whoblewboobear]

Realizing that if I ask questions when I’m unsure or nervous about something, the world won’t end and no one is gonna yell at me for it and if they do, it’s probably a weird ass response to have.

I was getting nervous bc I havent seen one of my besties irl in about a year/longer. And I work during the day so it has to be after 5:30. So just asking, “hey, did you have something in mind for us to do/where are we meeting?” Is so much easier than stewing in nerves until the time comes just to scramble to think of something when we could’ve figured it out earlier.

I’m meeting her bf for the first time and I’m already nervous about that so taking one thing off the table to not be nervous about is good.

It just makes me realize how badly fucked up I am from my mom that I’m too scared to do or ask anything out of fear of being attacked for not speaking up or trying to make things easier. Like generally people are a lot kinder than she is.

Like sure if I’m at home it means staying to myself unless I wanna be talked over, yelled at, begged for money, etc. But then going to spend time with literally anyone else is okay. Having other people respect my boundaries when I set them is reassuring or having them hear me out. Like talking to my sister and her confirming that our mom is getting worse or talking to my therapist and her helping me with my fear of confrontation is good. Makes me feel a little more normal.. and being reassured that wanting to go no contacts doesn’t make me awful.

It’s so.. fucking weird. Bc my entire life I was told my mom that I walked funny, talked funny, was too loud, too quiet, mean, disrespectful, boring, awful, and then finally that I make her life miserable, then being reminded that every day that she wants me gone. Like- obviously now I’m an adult and I know that there’s not a single thing I could do to make my mom change or love me unconditionally. But it’s hard to see all that and realize how insecure and desperate I am for it in all other relationships.

I have very very good and loving relationships in my life, I do. And I appreciate that they get it, even the ones that don’t know the full extent of the abuse. But I hate that I need constant reassurance from them that I’m not annoying or too much. And I’m always apologizing for it which makes me feel :/ bc

Like deprogram my ass. I’m so tired of being hit full force with my mommy issues. Like this woman couldn’t be half assed to care about me I shouldn’t let her have power over me. And yet~ here I am. Spiraling and being shocked when people are genuinely kind to me or happy to see me bc it feels so forgein. Like my own mom doesn’t like me, why would anyone?

And then talking myself down like, she’s the asshole. She’s the problem. Not everyone is like that. And then I get stuck with people like my coworker who’s like a carbon fucking copy of my mom right down to the nastiness and it makes me wanna scream. But at least at work I can mind my business. At home it’s like my mom will yell until I bark back so she can call me awful OR ignore her she she plays the victim and tries to turn my sister and her side of the family against me. It’s- like ofc when I move out I never wanna see you again. You hate me.

[firstumcschenectady]

“Starting With Care” based on Genesis 2:1-3 and Matthew 6:26-34

We're going to start with the bad news: you can't control anything.

Or, at least you can't control anything important.

You can't control how long you'll live, what the quality of that living will be, what illnesses or injuries you will endure, how long your loved ones will live, if or when traumatic events will occur, nor how they'll be responded to.

I was recently a part of a conversation about suffering led by a medical professional who – rather appropriately I thought – was worried about the fact that patients sometimes assume their suffering is God's punishment. I agreed with him that this is just not TRUE, and it is awful to think that you are both in pain and that you deserve it. But, I am also aware that if pain and suffering aren't a punishment from God, another option is that life is a crapshoot and there isn't any meaning to be found in it – and for a whole lot of people that's MORE uncomfortable than thinking God wills it. Because if God's punishing them, or teaching them a lesson, then the suffering AT LEAST means something and maybe even has redemptive value. But if it was just a random thing, and it could have happened to anyone and just happened to happen to them – well, for a lot of people that's WORSE.

Because then it is entirely out of their control. If God is punishing them, then IF ONLY they'd acted differently, then they could have prevented this from happening.

Right? It is an awful theology, but the human desire to pretend we have control is really quite powerful.

And, let's be honest, we can't control things but we can …. impact probabilities, right? Cancer is MORE likely if you smoke, if you don't exercise, if you don't eat well. Even better, you aren't likely to get hurt falling off a rock wall if you don't attempt to climb a rock wall. Right?

That said, once I broke a toe because a container of chili fell out of my freezer and landed on it. No rockwalls involved. Another time I sprained an ankle horribly – at the ski mountain – on the INDOOR stairs when I was grabbing lunch. Probabilities aren't guarantees.

I find some comfort in the Matthew passage that tells us that worrying and trying to control the uncontrollable is in human nature. This one isn't a modern day problem and we don't have to blame the 24 hour news cycle, smartphones, or social media. This is a human problem. We are aware enough of the uncertainties of life to worry about what may happen.

Jesus seems to recommend not worrying about the little things – about eating and drinking and finding clothes. Which, funnily enough, were exactly things that most of his audience was worried about most of the time because he was speaking to people who often didn't enough enough food, or drink, or a change of clothes.

In the face of their daily struggle for survival, Jesus says,

“Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life? And why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?”

And I get his point. Life is vivacious, nature takes care of itself, hoarding is unnecessary, and truly no one is as beautiful as a flower. But also, I don't get his point. Because it sounds a whole lot like saying, “Sure, there is a system of oppression out there that took away your family's land and livelihood, and now you are hoping every day to get hired back to work the land so that you can afford to eat tonight, and sure you are likely to die soon of malnutrition, but don't worry about it, God will take care of you.” And, while I TRULY believe that God does want to take care of everyone... well, deaths from malnutrition HAPPEN so it seems like that “promise” isn't one that often works out.

Compassionate people don't say to starving people, “don't worry about food.”

So, what the heck is Jesus doing?

I think I did a bad job in picking this passage, particularly that I didn't look at the verses PRECEEDING these ones. Namely, “No one can serve two masters for a slave will either hate one and love the other, or be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth.” These lines are a big deal in the Bible. For a world in which people thought being wealthy was a sign of God's favor, it really turns the tables. This passage encourages the poor while challenging the wealthy. And it is placed before the bit about the lilies of the field.

And I wonder if Jesus is at this point talking to wealthy people. The ones who DO have enough to eat, but are worried about it anyway. The ones who do have clothes, but fret that they're not enough.

And I wonder, too, if Jesus is doing one of those really deep teaching things where he is saying to the poor - if you work together you'll have enough, but when you have enough don't worry about getting more like the rich people do. Trust in each other and God, don't horde.

Furthermore, I think maybe Jesus wants those who are oppressed to look up long enough to see they system that is oppressing them, and that it isn't God's will. God made a world of abundance, PEOPLE are keeping each other from accessing it. Part of the problem of trying to survive is that you can be so pre-occupied with it that you don't notice you shouldn't have to fight that hard.

God made enough. It was true then, and it is true now, just as it is true that people died of not having enough then and people die of not having enough now. God made enough, people have distribution problems. And I think it's OK to worry about the distribution problems.

I really appreciated this week's essay from We Cry Justice. I'd like to read a little more of it to you:

God creates human partnerships. In short, God created a system whereby all material and emotional life is tended to. So if we are to be fruitful and multiply – if we are to add to creation – the systems we create must extend the provision of care.

…

Within us lies the potential to create and re-create a system that revolves around and produces care, a system where needs are met. We will need each other to do so. We will need to be in partnership, working together to be fruitful and multiply.1

We can't CONTROL anything, although we can do a lot of damage trying. We can, however, be in partnership with each other and God and seek to “extend the provision of care.” We can choose to notice that care is inherent in creation, and that God's care hasn't changed. We can remind ourselves that there is ENOUGH, and that's good. We can remember the lilies of the field – when they're useful – that creation is beautiful and awe-inspiring.

(Image of mutual care: Ellis Nurses with supporters picketing for better care for their patients, and for each other. Photo by Sara Baron)

We can remember that things aren't now as they should be, but they CAN get better, that God is working with us to make them better, that we're working together, that many people are in this together. That we want a world where no one has to worry about what they will eat or drink or wear, because the resources of the world are abundant there is enough for everyone – and in the kindom of God the resources are shared with the abundance of God.

It is a dream worth holding onto, and remembering, and seeking. We can start with care. And every little bit helps. We can't control it, but we can shape it. Thanks be to God. Amen

1Solita Alexander Riley “In the Beginning, There Was Care” in We Cry Justice (Minneapolis, 2021), p. 145.

Rev. Sara E. Baron  First United Methodist Church of Schenectady  603 State St. Schenectady, NY 12305  Pronouns: she/her/hers  http://fumcschenectady.org/  https://www.facebook.com/FUMCSchenectady

May 26, 2024

[againtodreaming]

Firstly, when you get this, you have to answer with 5 things you like about yourself, publicly. Then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool)

@lyloneliness you send the first ask but also @mavr4xx @vinylbiohazard @ghostsinacoat @yumaisbored you also asked this too and omg i love u all but also, why do you do this to me 😭😭😭 i was already struggling a lot to think of 5 things with the first ask (and i still haven't even gotten to the tag game of this), and now I have to think of TWENTY-FIVE?!? ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚ (plus 5 more if I end up finding the tag game again plus the ability to think of 5 more...)

Anyways, thank you so much for the asks (´,,•ω•,,)♡ ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊♡ (even if they are the hardest asks I have done in my life 💀) (it was interesting and fun tho 🌟) you are all awesome 💖🌟💞 now here we go:

(25 things here in the same post bc…not sure I just started doing it after @ all of u and I am doing this draft in my phone and separating this in the other asks i still have to look for is too much work) (apologies for the length, the further i got, the longer some of the answers became😅)

1 - My hair (used to be really thick and my mom used to make this amazing hairstyles almost every day when I was a kid—there was one that was a huge rose made of braids or smth, the hairpins were awful and it took so long but it was so pretty, I think my mom even made it for the wedding of one of her friends, anyways I lost maybe more than half of my hair when I was like 15, stress probably, and then I decided to cut it even below the shoulder—first time in my life it was so short—bc I was so mad with it but also bc I had zero energy to even try to take care of it by that point. Grown back until like my mid-back—used to have it like waist length before—by now and now I got maybe a little more than half of the hair that I used to have at 13 which is a lot better than it was at 15 and hopefully it gets back to what I used to have in a couple of years more, but for now it's enough to start playing with it and doing braids)

2 - Open-mindedness

3 - Creativity

4 - Patience

5 - That I'm an older sister

6 - Uf, how do I explain this one—like, empathy? kindness? feeling things deeply? putting yourself in the other person's shoes and being considerate of that? being too sentimental? which can be really annoying too but I wouldn't trade it so...

7 - That I can talk really fast

8 - Being expressive

9 - Always thinking things through

10 - Confident in my likes? (okay, so this one feels complicated, but for example, when I was a little kid, 6 or 7 years old probably, I loved superheroes, but my classmates in my all-girls school were like, that's for boys 😒, and I felt horrible bc that was just another thing in that i didnt fit in with everyone else and i always wanted to fit in, but somehow—which looking back feels weird bc who even knew i could be surprisingly confident in some aspects—was that i never thought i was in the wrong for liking superheroes? Like, yeah, I always wanted to fit in and I felt bad that I didn't, but even with all the social insecurity I was constantly plagued with, I never felt like I was in the wrong for being myself or that I should change myself or pretend to like stuff I didn't just to fit in (that strategy didn't even cross my mind until I was…can't be sure, it was somewhere in the last few years in this country, it was either a documentary, fiction, or the group therapy, but the idea of actual people in real life doing smth they didn't agree and had no purpose except to fit in was like: 🤯!?!!?!?!) (I didn't handle it that well either to be fair, if I wasn't with my friends i just decide to hide during recess and/or to not speak at all with anyone, until I changed schools) (I liked the 2nd school better). I assume that in my head I was like: "shame that I'm not like all of you but what can you do, I'm me ╮(╥﹏╥)╭ "

11 - I'm usually also all or nothing with almost all things? Like, for example, math. I don't like math, it has always been the class I struggled with the most and all my math teachers in Peru were really strict and thank goodness that my dad loves math and really good at it or I would have been lost without someone to explain it to me. But last week, my parents got an email from my math teacher who was telling them how proud she was of me and how I always strove to understand everything and there was some implication that I did it bc I liked what I was learning, which like, I mean, I like geometry a lot more than algebra bc it's simpler, and I don't exactly hate it, but I certainly wouldn't do it for pleasure. At all. And yeah, I ask her about everything I don't understand (she insisted to the whole class to please ask her anything if we needed help, so i had permission; if she wasn't available tho, I just would have asked my dad or a friend who is good at math to explain it to me) and ask her to show me exactly what I did wrong and what would be the correct answer but all of that is bc well, if I'm going to do well in the class, I need to understand what I did wrong in order to fix it, and like, math classes always build on each other, so if I don't smth I will later have problems with it, and also like, I'm already stuck with the class whether I like it or not, if I'm going to do smth, I'm going to do it well. Which is smth my mom has complained a lot of times, especially during last school year when I had a lot of late assignments bc I was too anxious about doing any of them bc I was afraid of doing it wrong or bc I didn't have the energy to think clearly so I wouldn't be able to do my best so like yeah…I ended up not doing the assignments at all (this is the part that I hate about this all or nothing thing with me, but let's focus on the positive side right now). Or with projects, I once stayed awake until like 5 am like several nights straight to do a project for economics class which like…I decided to make my own illustrations for each slide of the ppt to illustrate the information on top of doing the reading and answering the questions stuff…and I was already in a hurry with it bc I didn't know the school put assigned summer readings in the school's website (it was my first year in this country and nobody had said anything about it the year prior, plus it was quarantine time) and the teacher gave me a few extra days bc I still needed to hurry up in reading the book so yeah, I should have done smth more simple and fast to just submit it and get a grade but it wouldn't have been doing my best, not even near my best and I was already compromising on some stuff to not take too long since there wasn't too much time for my initial ideas so…yep. The teacher loved my project tho (and gave me a 100 even tho it was one day late) and asked if she could use it for her class of next year soooo…totally worth it. But yeah, i was sort of confused that Geometry teacher thought to send an email like that when I have only been trying to understand the concepts I am assigned to learn?

Thinking, thinking, thinking….you know what, I want to put my height in here just annoy my sister (she would be all dramatic annoying fake pitying dramatic gasp about it and would drag the younger ones to her side of the argument) but she wouldn't even see it plus I don't actually care about heights (I just care that she's annoying about it almost daily) so that would also be a lie so another thing….you know what, i already got 11 in one morning, coming back to this later

12 - Okay, so I hate all my health problems, absolutely hate them, so annoying and expensive and restricting and confusing BUT—how do I word this…it has 2 parts…umm…okay, so I'm really familiar with the clinic in Peru I used to go all the time and, okay I hated having to go to the clinic so many times, especially towards the end, but I liked being familiar with it? Like, the people, the sense of a community, the building, the routine. It was probably more familiar than my schools since I changed schools a few times while the clinic was there ALWAYS (until we moved countries and I never expected to miss the fucking clinic but it happened which wtf but also makes sense which also omg mila (ノ◇≦。) but also, the medical system was definitely easier and less expensive than whatever the fuck they have going on here, plus not having all our usual doctors, so there is also a practical reason aside from me unreasonably missing everything that was familiar including things I didn't even like much). That's the first part. Second part is that it has brought…lessons ig. Like, idk, it's been a huge formative part of my life. About health and food and family stuff and experiences. Like, I hate having the health problems (they are A LOT better now than when I was younger as long I do some things to keep it that way, but yeah, really grateful for that) but also, I don't really know who I would be without those experiences? Changed the whole family too so like…idk, it's weird but felt worth mentioning.

13 - That I'm really curious and like learning.

14 - Sense of style

15 - Loyalty—to people (like, even swallowed down all my shyness and anxiety to try to reconnect with some childhood friends I hadn't talked in forever bc moving countries and depression thing) (going well, really happy that we are talking again) but also like to interests and values ig? Like, most of my likes (superheroes, anime, drawing, maybe writing but not sure about that one, all started before I even turned 8 y/o) and like, aside from maturing and a couple of things, I don't think I've changed much at all. I have never stopped liking smth I used to like anyways.

16 - Openness ig? Like, I never want to be a bother so it depends on the person and the history i have with them and sometimes on the occasion, but I never really had any problems asking for help or speaking about my problems or feelings

17 - My handwriting when it's not written in a hurry

18 - My attention to detail

19 - Not getting mad easily—which is you know good with being an older sister too bc like...my dad is really annoying (but like jokingly annoying) and a lot of times bc of it (or some other times other family members) my sister and my mom get mad about some small comment they take seriously and then they get angry and leave the table or living room or whatever and then it's like all awkward bc the mood got broken (which also, a little hypocritical especially bc the sister also loves to be annoying in purpose with everyone of us) but unlike them, the middle sister and me like...we don't really care much about it? We are usually the ones that get more teased by the others but it's like, smth one therapist didn't understand, which was so annoying wtf did setting boundaries had to do with my siblings being annoying, I don't care that they are annoying bc it's like, we usually get along well (presently; there used to be constant fighting between 2 of them we were little but they are better now) and they have always been annoying but it's like, a game, I know they are not serious about the matter. I can be annoying back if I feel like it and it's all in good fun. The only times I don't like it it's when it's actually serious, with you know, intention to hurt or being passively aggressive mad about smth, stuff like that. Point is that yeah, it's also good for sibling diplomacy bc I'm rarely the one getting mad with the other ones.

20 - That I like dogs

…I can't think of 5 more. Uf, let's see…okay, getting desperate here but—

21 - That I'm Peruvian

22 - Good at cooking

23 - Good at planning

24 - My self-awareness

25 - That I like to be more positive and hopeful about things in general I think? (myself is usually an exception) Constant argument with my sister bc she can be so pessimistic sometimes. Like, life is already hard enough as it is, having fun and connecting with people makes things more enjoyable, so why not try to focus on the bright side whenever possible and make things better. She thinks I'm naive, I know I can be naive, but also, if I have to live I'm going to enjoy it bc what's the point otherwise. Generalizing things doesn't help. I think.

OKAY!! DONE!! 25 THINGS!!! FINALLY 😭💖

Thank you again and I hope you are all doing well <33

[the-vicious-guardian-incarnate]

[☆] About the "Drama" [☆]

I'm sorry, I'm not done talking about this. I have a lot more to say because I know there isn't much about it out there from the side of a mod who was involved. I thought I would be okay leaving it where I did in the last post, but I want to make it clear why I, at least, cut off contact and interaction with the person involved. (Person involved will be referred to as FH, nobody will be outright named except, of course, myself.)

I can't speak for any others and I won't dare say I am, but please know I have probably over a decade of online roleplaying experience across platforms, and I have a different radar for certain things than others might because of the communities I used to run in.

“Drama” tag is «what a wuwarp week» If you want to reblog this for some reason, you can, but please be reasonable or I'll turn that off.

This is meant to inform, not lambast or accuse. This is my experience and no one else’s. Do not go looking for FH, do not interact with FH, leave FH alone.

Again, DO NOT search out the person in question. It will be a waste of your time and effort. If that feels harsh, please read on. It will be long and possibly confusing, but I hope it will at least mostly explain my stance, here.

I am not a confrontational person (we've just heard a lot of that… but I'm generally too tired for it is my take). I thought this situation could be resolved peacefully. This situation, I don't believe, actually could be resolved peacefully. Someone was going to get hurt. I've rewritten this post at least five times now, because I don't want anyone to continue getting hurt from this situation, but I didn't feel right not letting people know what was going on behind-the-scenes and in my head; there's a lot. I have a lot of thoughts at decent speeds. I have a lot of experience with roleplayers of different experience/skill levels. I have even moderated several Discord roleplaying servers (which isn't something I can recommend unless you are very passionate about it). I was actually ostracized by a small sub-community once, because my character simply wasn't designed to play well with the character of a popular person in that sub-community (by design, and for interest and variety, not malice).

That is to say, I understand many sides to this story through living them myself before. I wish things like this didn't happen and everyone could roleplay without having any problems with someone else, but that isn't healthy (again, I have experienced a community where discourse or "drama" was discouraged so heavily you had to pretend to get along with everyone or you'd get absolutely dog-piled for "bullying" someone). So we have a world where people are allowed to say how they feel: that's fantastic! Your feelings are valid! You're allowed to have them, and express them, and tell people when they've made you feel them!

But what isn't acceptable is going off and crying to anyone who'll listen about how terrible this (being told someone would like FH to adjust FH's approach for a more enjoyable experience for both parties) is! Sobbing about how awful this is! Why would they say this? This is so harsh! I'm traumatized by this! (Again, "this" is someone simply stating a discomfort and asking for a change or understanding of the situation, which is normal, valid, and nothing to lose your curlers over.)

Yes, I checked. I hadn't known anything was happening before I received a DM out of nowhere. So I went and looked. I investigated. This is also appropriate; while it can be a little time-consuming, it's best to make an informed decision, no?

My findings were that someone simply got tired of having to try to manipulate their character into going along with everything FH said. This is valid; working with incompatible characters/personalities can be grueling work particularly when the other person in control isn't willing to give or bend a little to make a prolonged interaction believable (I know this, because it was usually I who had to bend, and a situation that had me leaving many times). This person simply had not found another way to express this to FH, which made sense: FH has repeatedly shown an inability or disinterest in actually reading the words placed in front of FH to read (something I experienced in my own interactions with FH, actually).

But, you see, this DM opened by FH apologizing for being annoying… and/or "too cute." For me, this immediately triggered a little red flag, though I ignored it because I thought, well, this could be a good opportunity to get FH to understand what might have been going on with this other blog. So I respond, pointing out what the issues may have been, as well as solutions so that FH can take this advice and continue on with their endeavors. (Yes, the fault does lie on FH.)

Except FH completely, outright, blatantly ignores all of my advice. Not once, not twice, but three times. We spoke for an hour. The only thing I accomplished was an amateur psychoanalysis! Feel free to imagine Calcharo wearing a deerstalker (Sherlock Holmes hat) here.

Here is where my mention of all my experience in various roleplay communities comes into play. Yes, I do analyze how people act towards others, even--maybe especially--when someone is apologizing to me. This will become analytical and possibly confusing, though I will try my best to write this out clearly. If you have questions, you can ask. We'll go just about message by message to cover all aspects my brain covered during the conversation.

So, again, FH and I speak for an hour (I have screenshots, involved parties may ask to see some/all). I offer advice for the situation, such as reassessing FH's approach to characters (offering to let FH try again) or finding the type of character who would readily accept FH's approach as opposed to, like, the hardened mercenary who's been fighting essentially his whole life just to survive. I point out the places FH may have stumbled, which may have lead to the other mod's reaction; being too pushy and acting as if FH were trying to roleplay with a character that could not exist without veering off wildly into OOC territory (Calcharo outright accepting their advances in the first meeting).

FH, who has been offered solutions and explanations, responds with multiple statements about what things FH may do now that FH has been made to feel uncomfortable in the community (this is also the only point in our conversation where the discomfort of character mods comes up until the end). FH apologizes twice in this message.

Here I offer other explanations and suggestions as to how to fix this. These include potentially changing FH's approach to characters who will be more accepting of FH's chosen exaggerated personality traits. I tell FH, "There's just no such thing as characterization of yourself or characters that's compatible with absolutely everyone and anyone."

Keeping that last bit in mind, FH proceeds to say several things have been mentioned that day, and that FH's approaches worked in the past and so FH stuck with it. FH apologizes again. End of message, excluding some extraneous information because this is already incredibly long.

So I say--oh, wait, how strange. Twice have I offered advice, and twice has it gone unacknowledged.

Anyway, I say that the problem was that FH was far too stubborn with the approaches used, which was the other mod's primary concern (stated quite clearly!) and something that very obviously wouldn't work with Calcharo. Please note that I end this message saying "I just don't really understand why you thought this approach would… do much? With Calcharo, at least. Does he at all seem the type to respond favorably to what you gave me to work with?" fully expecting some kind of response explaining FH's thought process.

FH says "I was trying something even if it wasn't working." This tells me that FH… doesn't appear to fully grasp the fact that… we're people? We're just people playing with dolls on the internet. These are our little guys (gender neutral) and we play them the way we want to, that makes sense to us and falls in line with how we want them to act. Of course, I say this. I mention this. I tell FH that we are people pretending to be other people, and we "all have personalities, histories, likes, dislikes, and thoughts of [our] own."

"Not everyone can or will react the same to the same information, right?"

Lo and behold, FH replies with… "I know that. I can see that." Even though… not a single interaction FH has had with a character has shown that. I went and looked through a handful of blogs to see just how widespread this was. The results: FH offered every single one of us the same one or two premises to work off of. Does FH really know people can react differently to the same thing, or does FH think it's possible to get them all to respond the exact way FH wants from them using the same one or two approaches?

I will exclude the contents of the next few messages as they hold more identifying information than the last few. What is important is that I do tell FH that they should take some time away to reflect on this situation and why others reacted this way to everything going on. I tell FH that it's possible to "go out and learn and do better, so you don't end up in the same position for any other fandoms in the future. You can't become any better at this if you don't try and change from this, after all."

… and FH says "I was just hoping to have funsies." FH says, "Don't really know where I would learn from when all I do is AU stuff with friends."

Recall my wide range of roleplay experiences? I tell FH about this as well. I say there's nothing wrong with AU roleplay because I've definitely done quite a lot of it myself! But this is something important more people looking to improve on their roleplay skills should know: only roleplaying with your friends in a closed environment will cause stagnation and may potentially leave you with bad habits that could get you in trouble with other people who don't know you or what you do. "It's not really fun if only one of the people involved is enjoying themselves, is it?" I ask, expecting a response to that, at least.

FH instead chooses to latch onto two topics; friends and a singular mention of roleplay etiquette. FH does not respond to anything else I said, even though I said quite a lot not said here (this is so long, I'm sorry). "Most people I've [roleplayed] with are just doing whatever."

I type out a nice big paragraph about how we are all strangers here and cannot be expected to react the way a friend would, because one singular person's experiences are not the hard and fast rule for EVERYTHING else. Etiquette is always going to differ between friends and strangers, no?

FH chooses to expand on the friends thing. I didn't ask for that. I asked for clarification on if FH mostly roleplayed with friends. FH did not give me that answer. FH said nothing about the rest of my paragraph.

So I try again, and I double down on how FH appears to be treating an entirely new fandom filled with strangers exactly the way FH would treat "doing whatever" with friends. FH responds with words, but no answer.

And so here, I finally give up on attempting to help FH learn and grow from this experience. I finally give up on trying to wiggle any cohesive answers out of FH. I tell FH fine, you can go ahead and do whatever you want, but "I can't recommend trying again in the WuWa community. Even if a mod doesn't know about you, other people who interact with these blogs do. I got an anon about you. I thought I would give you some more time and see if anything changed."

This is, perhaps, the part that made me the most upset, and apparently it made FH the most upset here, too, because this message is littered with crying emojis? (It makes me feel old even though I'm younger than FH.) FH reiterates "I said I'm sorry" though does not say what for, because I am fairly sure FH does not understand what the root cause of the issue is, here. Not that I can be sure, because I've gotten a lot of nothing answers (which is, yes, another red flag I was ignoring up until this point). FH said "I was just trying to make it right" despite me saying multiple times FH can simply do that and even try again as long as FH changes the problem areas I… happened to have pointed out earlier.

And FH says "You guys are making it seem like I did crimes or something." (Followed by more emojis.)

Now, I'm not quite sure, because I might be a little more autistic than I think I am, so I might have missed something, but… so far, I have asked FH to change the problem behavior and try again later. I have pointed out the problem behavior. I have given FH options for changing and growing and learning if FH just so chooses to--

--and I snap a little, because I do have my limits, and this was… annoying, because I know this situation did not need to turn out like this. (I later found out another blog's mod had also attempted to talk to FH about the situation with just as much success, which does not surprise me. If that other blog's mod is reading this, I hope you're feeling better. It wasn't your fault you couldn't do anything.) Yes, you are allowed to have your feelings, feel your feelings, speak to people about your feelings, but outright denying or ignoring any help people are offering just because they don't align with what you want isn't healthy, helpful, or even really productive. Like that "stupid little walk for my stupid little mental health" or… whatever that TikTok(?) was. I really hope that makes sense. Sorry.

Here, I tell FH that "I don't think you actually understand what the problem was in the first place. You haven't said if you were going to try better to avoid this same thing. If you continue on like this you are GOING to run into another character and another mod who won't take this well and this same thing will happen all over again." Please note this is not to shade the mod who spoke up, but to point out that the very valid reaction was because the interaction was not going well because of FH. "You cannot make things right if you don't acknowledge WHAT the essence of the problem was."

I spent an hour talking to FH. Apologies again for the length. But please read back and tell me if I missed a place where FH said what the problem was (reminder, collectively: being pushy, stubborn, and unwilling to change something that was making another person uncomfortable).

"You didn't commit a crime, but that doesn't mean people can't be upset at you for not paying any attention to what they're trying to tell you."

FH snaps here because, and I quote, "This has all happened today alone from everyone. And I mean EVERYONE. It's all happening at once all day."

Another note: don't go harass FH. Clearly FH won't learn anything from the harassment. Save your energy.

FH continues to… well, rant, here. I won't write it all out. FH says "I understand" to a lot of things, while also saying things like "I understand that I'm a bad role player[sic] and I don't know what I'm doing," and "I understand everyone is annoyed by me."

Here comes my experiences again. I have worked with a lot of different types of toxic people throughout my years, whether on the internet or in real life. There is good reason for me to believe that, though unintentional, FH was trying to emotionally manipulate us all into giving up and leaving FH be without saying anything else about the matter.

Mind, this is after FH made several public posts being greatly upset with how we were handling the situation, even though FH was undoubtedly the one to make it worse. After all, even though some of us tried to talk with FH, nobody managed to either calm FH down or de-escalate the situation. Multiple people were unable to calm the situation and FH down.

My final message was urging FH to take a break from Tumblr for a while for mental health reasons, because clearly something needed to be done. Sadly, unsurprisingly, I was, once again, outright ignored.

The final takeaway is that none of the mods involved should feel bad for what they did, or what they said, because this IS a genuinely frustrating situation, and FH wasn't making it any easier to try and help, understand, or calm anything down. FH may have even made your own situation worse, in which case I hope you're doing well, now. This situation did not have to be as bad as it was, but you did your best to navigate it.

"You're making me uncomfortable with what you're doing. Please don't do that."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I'd like to try and change what I was doing, if that's okay? I won't do it again."

That was all that needed to happen, even if the initial post seemed terse or harsh. It was a simple, genuine (if frustrated) ask, accompanied with common, simple criticism.

Again, do not go bother FH if you know who this is referring to. This person will not learn from being harassed. Screenshots and/or transcripts of the conversation will be available to other involved parties through DMs. Anon asks about this might be ignored. Also, reminder that my first week of running a roleplay blog was the 18th to the 25th :)

[madd-devil]

Peau d'Âne's daughter and the Lost Boy

This is part 1 and 2 are there :) this is the final part!!!

Summary: After (Y/N)'s sudden departure, Felix deals with loneliness and his own feelings.

Liphine the Lilac Fairy, godmother of royal princesses and princes, had been staying with them since she had been freed from her prison. She was a very nice person, and Felix came to appreciate her quite a lot. She was maternal in her own way, and he enjoyed that she wasn’t pitying him like the others were doing. But, she didn’t understand a lot of the mortal’s life: she seemed intrigued on why Felix was washing the dirty dishes. He replied he needed to get them done, and since the dishwasher was broken (or Rumpletilskin had lied to him again in order to punish the lost boy with chores), someone had to do them.

"Do you want to be taught some magic? You have shown quite the ability when you touched my wand."

"You… know what happened?" Felix asked, feeling like a child who had been stealing and caught. He washed his hands quickly as he finished lining up the plates so they could dry.

"Of course. My wand is connected to me, this is why Rumpletilskin put it in this… hideous box." The fairy spoke, probably repulsed by the box which was a simple one. "First, we have to fix your posture. Head up, behave as if you were a puppet." She instructed, putting the wand underneath his chin.

“I am not very sure it will work, Liphine. I am not… great at learning.”

“Hush now, child, and listen to your elders.” The fairy instructed as she went on about the importance of pronunciation and posture in order to cast a spell.

The evening came fast, and the blond was tired. Learning was indeed laborious but thankfully, Liphine was very patient with him. He liked that about her too: just like (Y/N), she made sure he had understood everything and replied to every of his questions without questioning or deeming them as stupid.

Sometimes, the fairy would leave or disappear, stating she was searching for (Y/N). Felix didn’t believe her most of the time about this, but he didn’t want to find out what she was actually doing. He understood and knew it was hard to live in this town, and under this roof, especially with a mortal enemy.

As the evening came, Felix found himself eating alone, again, in the small kitchen. The door opened on its own, and the Dark One walked in, a lot of papers and documents in his hands. He still walked with that awful cane. The blond didn’t say anything, not afraid of him, he just didn’t feel like speaking. And he was certain that if he did, it would lead to yet another argument between the two of them.

"Any news from her?" Rumpletilskin suddenly asked, his eyes not meeting him as he was arranging his paperwork.

"No." Felix replied in a soft tone as he stood up and put his plate in the sink. "She… I don't think she wants to talk to anyone."

He thought he was done with it so he walked past the older man. He put his mug inside the dishwasher and closed it. Glancing warily at the Dark One, he sighed in relief when there was no sign that he wished to talk more about the subject.

"I don't… We shouldn't have taken you here. Our lives would have stayed the same." He muttered under his breath which made Felix’s blood boil.

"How can you say that?! You brought this upon yourself! I wasn't the one hiding secrets from her!" Felix snapped, turning around suddenly. His hands reached for a kitchen knife, a urge to kill manifesting in his body.

"Stop it you two!"

It was the first time he had heard Belle raising her voice at them. He was very astonished by that: that woman was always soft spoken and never really got angry. She looked mad as well: her hair was disheveled and her eyes glared at both of them.

"You have been arguing for the last week. No wonder (Y/N) left if she knew you were going to be that way." She groaned and Rumpletilskin rushed at her side, begging her not to go away. "I am not leaving, but this situation is already hard. Don't aggravate it please."

"Will do. Sorry." Felix apologized, figuring that having her on his side was more important than fighting with the Dark One. "Liphine is waiting for me." He told them as he moved to go outside, sensing the usual warmth of the Lilac fairy. He felt excited to learn more about magic.

"At this time? It's dark outside." Belle spoke out in a motherly tone.

"We will be in the garden. She says she wants me to learn about stars."

"Constellation magic. Good choice." Rumpletilskin nodded, understanding the terms more than Belle.

The blond haired boy enjoyed spending time with the fairy. She seemed to understand him more than everyone else in this town. She was kind and nice but she had that light in her eyes when things didn't go her way… Her magic was the most extraordinary he had ever seen. He was sure Pan couldn't rival her in any ways in this domain.

She was waiting for him as usual outside, her eyes on the sky. He approached her silently, not wanting to spook her. But she seemed to know he was there: she turned her head and smiled at him.

"Rumpletilskin is making your head spin with anger, isn't he?"

"How do you know that?"

"Magic, my dearest."

He loved her kind words to him. It changed from the harsh environment in Neverland. When he thought about it, it felt like this time was centuries ago. He suddenly started to feel… shame. Shame for forgetting so quickly about his former home, yes sometimes it was bad and harsh, but he had some kind of family there.

"Are you alright?" The question made him snap back to reality and he just nodded, affirming he was indeed okay. He didn’t want to worry her that much.

The lesson went on smoothly and Liphine seemed proud of finding a new protégé. She was radiating such grace and joy, Felix wondered if she ever felt sad in her life. She was also incredibly nonchalant, taking life as it was coming. He also wondered if she had always been this wise, but sometimes her sentences were a bit weird, and sometimes, she talked like she was singing a poem. Her words matched with each other.

Her magic was also very different from (Y/N) and Rumpletilskin, hers was clearly made for goodness. He had witnessed such terrors and horrors with Pan’s as well that he always believed only served to attack or curse someone. He helped her pack up the books she had used and pulled from thin air and went back inside. Oddly enough, Belle and Rumple weren’t present.

“They must have left somewhere.” Felix hummed, liking the fact he was not with the old man. “I have the house for myself.” He then smiled, enjoying the silence. “Where are you going tonight?” He asked the fairy after putting some books on a shelf.

“Seeing some old fairy friends. You wouldn’t like it, you are too young to understand what we speak about.” She answered, leaving some parts of mystery again in her sentences. “I must make haste and leave at once. Be a dear, and keep my wand close to you.”

“Wait what? Why?” He felt like it was a huge responsibility bestowed upon him. The wand felt light and cold in his hands and he was still very fascinated by the crystal and sparkly object. “How can she use magic without her wand?” He questioned no one, very confused on how she was able to do this.

He was now alone in the house. Felix tried to figure out how to spend those precious hours alone, in the dark. He thought about annoying Rumpletilskin by messing up not only the house but also his precious store. Did he like the store more than Belle? Maybe it was time to find out!

With a chuckle, he approached an odd bronze statue of a lion and a mouse, that he knew the Dark One loved. The lion had a crown on his head and the mouse seemed to eat a nest trap. He wondered why Rumpletliskin had this statue protected by thick glass; it didn’t seem very valuable in Felix’s eyes. He stayed there, for a few minutes, observing the statue. Perhaps it was moving or magical, and he couldn’t see it.

“You traitor!”

Suddenly, someone knocked him down, and Felix’s head hit the ground hard. He howled at the pain and tried to get his attacker off him. Sharon started to hiss at the stranger, and he guessed it was bad news. If the cat didn’t seem to appreciate someone and reacted this way, it was better to be on his guard, and the blond haired boy was more than on his guard. He pushed the opponent to his left and quickly got up, scrambling to get a weapon. Luckily, the shop was full of them, so he was able to get an old and rusty broken sword. It would do for now.

“You… You traitor, you good for nothing useless son of a bitch!”

It was Peter Pan.

He was standing there, panting, eyes burning holes into his former second in command.

His eyes held such a fury that Felix shivered instantly his hands started to shake badly but he still held his ground. Why would Peter even call him a traitor? He didn’t do anything! He was not the one snooping to the heroes about his whereabouts back on Neverland, where he failed again and again. So, he was confused and surprised to be able to see him. Last thing he remembered, he was imprisoned in some sort of magic box.

Everything hit him like a brick: Felix was supposed to help Pan out. He was supposed to break him free. That was the reason for his wrath and anger. surely, he could calm him down. It was incredible that he broke free by his own means, he was such a powerful being, and the blond haired boy felt the same energy of when he met the king of Neverland for the first time: tiny. He felt small.

“You are fucking around with his daughter!” Pan accused, stepping quickly toward his direction, kicking the cat out of his way.

“She is not his daughter! And I am not fucking her!” Felix yelled, backing off in the kitchen. How did Pan know about (Y/N)? Has he broken free earlier and spied on him? Why? “I was using her, I was trying to make a plan to help you!”

“No you didn’t. I had to do it on my own. If you want to get things down, then you have to do it yourself, as we say.” He responded and Felix felt small again, like a little boy being scolded by his father after being falsely accused of breaking a vase. “You changed Felix… or perhaps you didn’t. You were always a little shit. I am glad you shed your true colors. I have no use for you now.”

Behind him, the former lost boy heard the kettle boiling. Taking a glimpse as fast as he could, he didn’t take the time to question who had put the object on the stove. This didn’t matter now, what did was that Pan was ready to kill him, and Felix didn’t want to die now. He wanted to see (Y/N) before, and other things. The girl really had taken over his thoughts.

“I never meant to betray you Pan.” He started to move toward the stove slowly, thinking he could at least try to talk it out with the green devil. “It is so different here.”

“A good second in command wouldn’t have done that.”

“Well, sometimes, you just have to try something new. It is part of learning.” He could feel the heat of the stove on his back and he stopped, looking like a mouse in a trap.

“And growing up. You disappoint me Felix, you who had such a strong fear of becoming an adult, you smell and behave like one now.” The green eyed boy spat with such venom that Felix had trouble coming up with something else. “I should have killed you centuries ago, you ugly bastard.”

“You’re right… Ladies often took a very quick and strong liking to you. Will it be better if your face melted off?!” Felix finished as he grasped the handle of the kettle and threw the hot water at Peter’s face, before throwing the whole object at his former best friend and darting out of the kitchen as the latter howled in pain.

He tried to go upstairs, the wand still cold in his left hand. However, he barely dodged a fireball that destroyed an ancient painting which got consumed by the fire. He winced: Rumpletilskin will make him pay for that, but his anger was the last of his problems. Now, Pan was furious and enraged, and Felix knew better than anyone that he was going to be destroyed slowly if Peter got his hands on him.

Whirling around, Felix decided to use the wand and casted a spell, just like Liphine had taught him. He used his energy and his fear of dying to make a blast big enough to send Peter against the wall. Perhaps it will also weaken him. But, with the lack of practice, all it formed was a small light purple sphere that the king of Neverland stopped quite easily. The blond haired boy was out of breath, using magic when you weren’t used to it was very wearing and tiring. Unfortunately, this was the moment Pan chose to jump on him, and he accidentally let go of the wand, which fell on the carpet below.

“You know magic?! YOU?!” Peter slammed his fist right in his face, and his other hand was circling the blond’s throat, preventing him from breathing.

“They… They tried to teach me…” He made out with a gurgle, as blood started to roll from his nose, knowing it was broken. He winced as Pan snatched a handful of his blond locks, turning his face toward the stairs. He never understood why Pan didn’t like sharing his wiseness and magic, perhaps, it showed how greedy his former best friend was.

“I am going to scare you a little more, and then show your fucking face to his bitch of a daughter, she will finally see what the true Felix looks like…” Peter whispered with a sadistic smile, his tone low and dangerous. “And when I am through with you, they will not even recognise your fucking ugly self.”

He was not ready for the pain.

Peter Pan didn’t waste his time slamming Felix’s face against the wooden stairs, and he was trying to stop him by all means. After the two attempts at breaking his face, Peter stopped, he seemed euphoric, chuckling at the bloody mess he had made. The blond only closed his eyes, praying it will soon be over, but knowing him, he knew it won’t be the case. He had to endure it somehow.

“Get away from him!”

The voice startled both of the boys. Felix felt free abruptly and he had trouble supporting his head, so he laid it against his arm, on the stairs. He knew who was there now and he felt incredibly relieved. He curled on himself and tried to get his strength back, but it was hard when your face had been slammed repeatedly into the stairs. But he needed to see what was going on, so he turned his head and was amazed by the scene unfolding before his eyes.

As he expected, (Y/N) was present, and she was using her magic offensively against Peter Pan, who couldn’t dodge all of her spells and hexes. She looked infuriated and angry, and he could feel how tense she was by the way she casted and used her magic. It was wild, powerful, violent and intense. When hope seemed lost to Peter, the latter just smiled again, but this time, it was a smile for manipulation and the blond hoped (Y/N) wouldn’t fall for that.

“Relax, love, I was just teaching him a lesson.”

“I am going to teach you one: never lay a hand on him again or I will kill you, tear your limbs apart while you still are breathing and use your body parts to decorate my bedroom!” (Y/N) hissed as she used her magic to open the backdoor, the one which led directly to the store. “He’s in there!” She yelled at someone, but Felix couldn’t see who.

In less than a few minutes, Pan was stripped away from his powers. The Dark One and Liphine (who had recovered her magic wand) seemed to have accomplished something he never thought could happen. He was harmless now, and apparently, they were taking him somewhere more protected than a tiny box. It happened all so fast, it made his head spin.

The former lost boy struggled to get up, using the stair’s railing as support. He gasped and instantly coughed, feeling how bad he had been injured. His face must look horrendous. Pan had at least succeeded in that.

“Oh, Felix, I am so sorry!” (Y/N) hurried at his side, and decided to walk him to her bedroom. “I should have been there, there to protect you, but I didn’t have a good connection where I was, so I didn’t get Rumple’s text about Pan apparently breaking free and disappearing and I knew he was coming for you, and I got so worried-!” She was speaking so fast it was hard to understand, but Felix was glad somehow at least cared for him. He just nodded and tried to thank her but found it was hard for him to speak. She noticed this and immediately sat him down on her bed. “Your scar… It’s opened again. But don’t worry, I am going to heal you. I am not good but… I will do my best!”

It was painful. Less painful than getting his face bashed, but it was hurting to feel his skin being closed magically. He grunted under her touch, but tried to keep on a brave face. She was kind enough to do this for him. He felt like a weight to her. Maybe she had other things to do and only stuck with him because the Dark One commanded her to do so? Was it possible?

“There… All done. We should drive you to the hospital though, just to make sure. I want you to be okay.”

Felix’s eyes locked with hers, and he saw the faint blush spread over her face, and the way she was nervously biting her lips. She seemed to be waiting for something. In most fairy tales, the lady who was saved gives a kiss to their knight, their savior. Maybe he could do this as well? Would it be rude? Brushing those thoughts aside and chasing his anxiety, Felix leant in and kissed her cheek softly. Now, he was blushing as well.

“Thank you. For… for saving me.” He said shyly, stammering and playing with his fingers to distract himself.

“I am sorry for leaving. I will never do that again, I promise.” She replied, sitting next to him and reaching for his hand, tracing circles in his palm. It sent shivers through his body, but it was quite agreeable, especially after the violent altercation he had. He used that opportunity by being close to her to lay his head on her shoulder. He didn’t know why he acted like that suddenly, but being with her just washed away what happened. “I contacted my grandfather, the father of my “mother”. He is a king too. He wants to meet me. I want you to come with me. It would be nice, just both of us, traveling… I believe Liphine wants to go back too.”

“You want to do that with me? Seriously?” He asked, incredulous at the idea she asked him, of all the people, to go back to her realm.

“Of course, I would be happy if you accepted. I… I really like spending time with you.” She stated nervously. “Actually… I quite like you.”

“I do too.” Felix replied without thinking, a bold move from his part, but he didn’t regret it. “I would love to come with you, even if it meant to travel to the end of the world.”

“That’s… a very cute thing to say.” She giggled and still massaged his hand softly. “Everything is going to be alright now.”

For the first time, Felix believed it as well. A small smile spread on his lips.

Yes, everything was going to be alright.

[sparklecriticism]

FAQ

Please read the FULL THING before sending an ask. It’s not that long I promise you. Or maybe it is I keep editing it

What’s your name?

That’s top secret, just call me Mod Polly

Pronouns?

He/him, I have others but I’m not giving myself away THAT easy

Do you hate Sparklecare?

Absolutely not, if I hated it i wouldn’t have made this blog. I just think the fandom is god-awful and that the comic has so much wasted potential. I still regularly keep up with the comic’s updates, follow the blog (alongside the blogs for Kittycorn’s other various projects), and enjoy making fanstuff for it. I am heavily critical of all my interests, especially indie projects since I KNOW those ones don’t have to go through censors and shit.

If you don’t hate it, then what’s this blog for???

This is for me complaining about the fandom, and criticizing the comic. This is essentially a diary of bitching.

I don’t like this blog

Block me, this is my personal diary of bitching. I remember I was in your shoes once, and didn’t like to see criticisms of Sparklecare, so I 100% get it.

Were you sparklecrit?

No. Leave them out of this. They clearly feel remorse for their past actions. Now me on the other hand, I feel bad about none of this XD

Are you gonna post the preboot link?

Absolutely not. I’m not going to disrespect Kittycorn’s wishes. Like I said this is only my personal diary of bitching, nothing more.

Is your main [tumblr user]?

Wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy?

Thoughts on mspec lesbians/gays/contradictory labels in general?

Cool as shit. Do what you want, conservatives want us dead. Polly is a bi lesbian also, she told me this herself.

Thoughts on the preboot?

It’s way funnier and way less “clean”, I’ll give it that. However, the reboot does a better attempt when it comes to characters, keyword attempt. I still miss Knot though.

Favorite character?

If I said my actual fave, I’d be given away. However, I love the side patients/side characters in general.

Least favorite character?

Uni. She’s treated by the fandom like she can do no wrong, and it feels like people only draw her. Because of this it sorta ruined her for me as a character. Sorry Uni.

Favorite ship?

Honest to god I see good chemistry/potential in all of them. I’ve never really been interested in Sparklecare shipping on its own but I enjoy doing it to analyze the characters and whatever the fuck

Least favorite ship?

Barruni. It’s the only one I see 0 chemistry or interest in, sorry. No hate to anyone who does ship it though!!

What about Cuddles?

Cuddles doesn’t feel like a character to me. He’s not interesting enough for me to hate that much. I don’t like him either, by any stretch of the imagination. I just forget he exists.

What do the tags mean?

“Fandom bitching” is for bitching about the fandom, “reboot bitching” is for bitching about the reboot, “comet bitching” is for any bitching regarding the Cometcare AU askblog, which will probably be few and far between let’s be real here, and “preboot bitching” is for bitching about the preboot because I WILL criticize the preboot as well. All criticisms/bitching will be tagged “sparklecriticism”. “Not bitching” is for general posts, and “Polly speaks” is for general posts from Polly. “Sparkleposting” is about my general, standard Sparklecare posts, usually regarding the version of it that exists in my brain. The "asks" tag is self-explanatory, and "your bitching" is bitching sent in by VIEWERS LIKE YOU!!!!!!

Are you trans/queer/nd/mentally Ill/disabled?

I’ve been a fan of this comic since late 2021, what the fuck do you think. Yes to all 5.

Will you be tagging character neg?

No. This is sparklecriticism what did you expect. I will however tag ship neg as “[ship] neg”, though you’ll probably only see that for Barruni.

Are you a troll?

No.

Why are you doing this???

I believe anything worth a damn is worthy of criticism. I also want to see if anyone else agrees with me here. Sparklecare is a spinterest of mine, I care about it a lot. It’s why I’m so harsh on it.

Sparklecare’s a spinterest for you?????

Yes, in fact the day I developed it as a major spinterest is the day I started being more harsh on it.

Why don’t you read better comics then?

I do, actually! If you wanna hear the comics I like send me an ask-off anon and I’ll tell you privately :3 webcomics in general are a spinterest of mine actually! It’s why I’m so harsh on them, because I KNOW they can be so much more!!

If you hate bitch on this comic so much, why don’t you make your own comic??

I already did, actually! I’m not sharing it to keep my privacy, but I do in fact have a webcomic! If you wanna see it, send me an ask off-anon and I might send you it in private

How would you feel if someone made a criticism blog based off YOUR comic???

I’d feel honored, honest to god. I would encourage it if you guys knew who/what the fuck I/the comic was