#which is so hard to do when you’re in pain and during the rare moments you’re not you’re exhausted from it but whatever it’ll be fine i’m

[archduke-enver-gortash]

[dragonsholygrail]

Oh to be a ftm bunny boy hybrid in a chase dynamic with a fox hybrid. The twist being that the bunny does the chasing and the fox is so fucking confused and is thrown off by this.

Added points for the hormones bunnies / rabbits bring.

Being a big adorable Boy Bunny Hybrid was tough sometimes. Especially when the local Fox Hybrid of your village was going around being a menace to the other people in town.

The Fox was constantly terrorizing others. As soon as he’d set his eyes on you he’d start the chase and he wouldn’t let up until he got you proper scared. It was only your luck that you were his favorite target.

Always picking you out from the crowd. Coming up behind you and grabbing onto you when you were doing nothing but minding your own business. Chasing you back during your walks home. Rarely letting you get a moment of peace without thinking about him and worrying he might be around the corner. It didn’t matter how hot he was or how he looked at you like he constantly wanted to devour you.

You were honestly getting sick of it and thought the Fox surely needed to be taught a lesson. It wasn’t like you wanted to egg him on or anything. It wasn’t that natural for you to try and hunt either. But the next morning you got up super early and went to track the Fox.

Your big bunny ears twitch as you look out for him and follow him through the forest. You stay a safe distance away from him so that he can’t smell you yet your little fluff of a tail shakes with your nerves, your ears even flattening against your head.

Before you can chicken out, you push off your hind legs and charge at the Fox. Propelling forward so quickly that it takes a moment for the Fox to notice you. But when he does he whips around and tries dashing away. Shock and confusion coursing through him in time with the burst of adrenaline.

The Fox looks behind him incredulously, not believing what’s going on. Some hybrid is hunting him? That never happens. The fox struggles between trying to run away and trying to get a good look at the predator. But when he spots you, the boy bunny he’s chased after more than anyone, he nearly stops in his tracks. Yet the look on your face tells him not to.

He would’ve kept going till he surely outran you but with a snag of his foot against a branch he goes tumbling down to the ground. The Fox groans in pain and before he can even catch his bearings you’re pummeling into him, causing you two to tumble through the grass.

With a quick maneuver on your part you roll over till you’re straddling the Fox, a feral look in your eye as you pin his arms above his head. The Fox mirrors it, thoroughly pissed off that he was caught by a damn bunny. But he doesn’t give up, his body squirming and jerking beneath you.

You grunt in return, trying your hardest to keep him subdued. But you were all soft curves and little muscle so it was proving a bit difficult. You struggle against him, your hips shifting and pressing into him in order to pin him down.

All it ends up doing is grinding his growing erection into your fluttering cunt and sensitive bottom growth which has you crying out and tightening your hold on him. The two of you glare fiercely at each other as the Fox deceptively starts to clam down. Your hold slightly loosens.

“You don’t like being hunted very much, do you? So why do you do it to others? To me,” you ask firmly, finally demanding answers after all this time.

Something passes over the Fox’s features but it goes by too quick for you to pick up on it. Then the next thing you know you’re being flipped over, your back hitting the ground and the Fox’s body pressing into yours. His hard bulge teasing your slit in a way that has you buzzing. He growls in your face, his drool dripping onto your neck. Your bunny nose twitches, wanting to wipe it away but a part of you also wanting his scent on you.

“To others, for fun. To you? Well, because you’re mine, and you needed to understand that.”

Your eyes widen at the confession and your body heats up. Getting turned on by his blunt claim of you. He raises a brow as if daring you to challenge him. But you don’t want to.

“Yours…” you whisper, liking the idea far too much. Wanting him to chase you so he can take you afterwords. Knowing that was his true intent all along as your hips bucking up into him.

His gaze softens and he leans down, nuzzling into your neck. Swiftly removing all clothes in your way, leaving you both bare to each other in more ways than one. He growls and nips at your throat, making his mark on you.

“That’s right, pretty boy.”

His voice rumbles in your ear, sending a chill down your spine. Yet it only turns you on more, your cunt fluttering with need. He lines himself up to your entrance, teasing you and keeping you on edge.

“My precious bunny.”

With that he plunges inside you, his claws yanking you deeper on his cock as he starts thrusting into you like a man starved. Like he’s been waiting so long to finally have you and now that he is, he’s taking all he can get.

You try and give him everything you can, your hips struggling to meet his every brutal thrust. Moans and whimpers brokenly leaving you as lust and pleasure fog up your mind.

He pounds into you with shocking ferocity, his aim to make you feel better than you’ve ever imagined. To ruin you for everyone else so all you can do is crave his cock and the pleasure only he can provide.

His length hits those spots deep inside you just right and your body shakes by the sheer force of the pleasure building up inside you. Your quivering body making it hard to continue rocking into him.

But the Fox doesn’t let up, his hands sliding to cup for firm bottom, claws digging into the rounded flesh. The tips of his claws only just teasing your sphincter.

Sparks blast through your body and straight to your close as you explode all over his cock. A squeak of a scream leaving you as your vision flashes white. The Fox growls loudly at the way you clench around him and his hot semen splashes deep inside you. Filling you with his release till your belly distends.

Something comes over you and you can’t stop the words from slipping out as the Fox sags on top of you.

“Mine.”

The act of claiming a strange sensation. But it felt right. It felt needed. You’d be the only bunny your fox would ever chase again. The Fox chuckles and nods into your neck.

“Yours.”

[reverie-starlight]

{PR DAY ~ sakusa kiyoomi}

MSBY manager!reader my beloved <3

it’s PR Day for the jackals and you, their manager, have the day off. so why is your boyfriend trying so hard to convince you to go with him?

gn!reader, fluff, an attempt at humor, atsumu slander (as much as it pains me, it comes with the territory of writing a fic like this 😔) suggestive in some parts. not nsfw at all, but explicit language is used and one conversation surrounds that topic, so read at your own risk <3 also, intentional tense-switch in the beginning!!! and just like the first part, it’s not explicitly mentioned, but reader and atsumu have known each other since high school.

part 1 of the mini-series

managing MSBY came with its ups and downs.

on one hand, you wouldn’t have met your boyfriend if it weren’t for this job. and you've never laughed as hard as you have been these past three years with coworkers before meeting the current core line up of the jackals.

but on the other? you had three massive fully grown children under your care. four, technically, if they managed to annoy sakusa enough that he stoops to their level of childishness.

which was unfortunately very often.

…

nearly every week.

…

fine, basically everyday.

and ever since your relationship was revealed to the team nearly a year ago, the “trouble trio” had been behaving exactly like you expected them to. the whole team was slightly insufferable about it, sure, but atsumu, hinata and bokuto really took it too the next level.

so obviously you really valued your days off.

and today was the first day off you’ve had in months. you refused to take off days during the busiest weeks of the season, but today was a PR day.

interviews, promotional videos for the official social media accounts, a livestream or two- all things you were more than happy to leave in the hands of the team’s PR and social media managers.

the birds were singing, the sunlight was streaming through the bedroom window and a cool breeze could be felt against your skin. the day was calm and you were so excited to relax and do all the things you had planned.

but of course, your hopes are just that.

you see your boyfriend standing in the doorway of your bedroom, looking like he wants to say something. your heart lurches into your throat.

“soooo,” he starts, not looking directly at you as he moves to the bed and looks at his laid out clothes. you’re already shaking your head before he can say anything else. he ignores this and proceeds to betray you. “if you wanted to tag along today, you could or whatever.”

he’s shameless. he knows how much you’ve been looking forward to today.

“kiyoomi. love of my life. my darling. what the fuck?”

he lets out a snort and looks down at you semi-pleadingly- a rare sight. “I’ll buy you coffee on the way there.”

oh, he’s bargaining? you smirk. “aww, baby,” you stand up and make your way over to him, dramatically twirling and falling back into him with the back of your hand touching your forehead and the other pressed to your chest. “you just can’t bear to be apart from me, can you?”

the pleading look in his eye fades and he gives you a disgusted look you know he doesn’t mean. his arms stay wrapped around you so you don’t fall. “you wish.”

you shrug and move back to your chair, finishing up your morning routine. “hmm I guess I’ll stay here then.”

you enjoy the silence for a moment before he sighs. “fine, two coffees.”

a loud laugh leaves your mouth when he says that. your boyfriend would never put this performance on for anyone else. it was as close to begging as you’d ever get from sakusa kiyoomi.

you shake your head and sigh. “my love, you know I’ve been looking forward to my day off for so long. why are you so insistent about me going with you?”

suddenly he’s behind your chair and leaning down so his breath tickles your ear. “coffee and lunch and maybe when we get back I could be convinced to try that thing you were talking about…” the words are backed up by a kiss to your jaw and some pointed eye contact through the mirror.

you widen your eyes and search his expression for any trace of a lie.

none.

you cannot believe you’re letting him convince you into this, but the offer is far too good to pass up.

you pretend to mull it over, then meet his eyes in the mirror again. “make sure the trouble trio don’t try to coerce me into working and we have a deal.”

“well of course, I was going to yell at them if they tried anything like that anyway.”

“perfect, then let’s seal it with a kiss.”

“only a kiss, baby, I feel your hands wandering.” he pecks your lips quickly and pulls away before you can deepen it.

you pout. “can you blame me? you’ve got me all excited now.”

he shakes his head fondly and straightens up, moving to put the shirt his stylist had insisted upon for the upcoming interviews. you had to hand it to her- she knew exactly what she was doing.

you watch him with hawk eyes and he just turns his head to look at you in amusement. “stop staring at me and get ready, you perv, we have to leave soon.”

as soon as you step into the building where all the other jackals are, you’re bombarded with confused greetings.

“hey, I thought it was your day off?”

“ayy, manager’s here! good to see ya.”

“what are you doing here? you weren’t scheduled for today, were you?”

you sigh and sip your coffee, letting go of sakusa’s hand as you speak to the coach. “no, I wasn’t. I was kidnapped and brought here by one of your wing spikers.”

he chuckles and glances over at your boyfriend, who is looking up at the ceiling and avoiding eye contact. “I see. well, if anyone tries to get you to work today, just let me know and I’ll help sakusa put them in their places.”

you smile kindly. “thank you, sir, I appreciate it.”

as soon as he walks away, you’re surrounded by the three people you wanted to see least today.

a long sigh leaves your lips as atsumu, hinata and bokuto stare at you in wonder.

“just get it over with,” you grumble.

“how much do ya wanna bet he promised something outrageous?” atsumu.

“what, like an all expenses paid vacation?” hinata.

“no, it’s omi-omi, it wouldn’t make sense for him to take time off in the middle of game season.”

you roll your eyes at their back and forth and glance over at the man in question, who appears to be glowering. you can almost picture the scowl underneath his mask. “you’re all idiots,” he states.

“hey! I haven’t even said anything yet!” bokuto protests.

“yes, but I can practically hear the gears in your brain grinding.”

“I’ll bet it’s a sex thing,” atsumu interrupts just as bokuto is about to defend himself.

you all freeze and stare at him.

your boyfriend, deadly calm, says “miya, I will skin you alive.”

the blonde, who absolutely loves getting a rise out of sakusa, just smirks. “oh, so I’m right then?” he turns to you and slings an arm over your shoulder. “tell me, dear manager, what exactly did he have to agree to in order to get ya to show up on your day off?”

you flick his forehead and shake your head disapprovingly. “none of your business, you freak. just 'cause your dating life isn’t going too well right now doesn’t mean you can pry into mine. download tinder or something if you’re that bored.”

bokuto and hinata snicker at that, but straighten up quickly when he shoots them a glare. suddenly, meian stalks up behind the three of them and clears his throat.

“if you’re all done terrorizing our manager, our social media team is ready for us now. hurry up.” he nods at you with an apologetic smile and drags atsumu away from you. “sakusa, you too. we’ve been waiting for a while now.”

as soon as his teammates walk away and he’s sure they’re not watching him, he slumps a bit and you notice the tips of his ears have gone red. you smile at him in amusement and pat his cheek, the action only slightly awkward due to his mask.

“aw lighten up, kiyoomi, I’m used to dealing with atsumu by now. just ignore him, he wouldn’t dream of bringing that up again if he knows what’s good for him.”

he sighs and drops his shoulders, relief washing over him now that he knows you’re not regretting your decision to come with him. he slips off his mask and presses a quick kiss to your lips. “alright. I love you, just enjoy the show.”

you take his mask and walk with him to the rest of the group so that they can start with the promotional videos.

it’s fun to watch, honestly, because the team’s dynamic does work well for the cameras. they’re not even playing anything up.

you sit through the promo videos they need to film for upcoming games, the silly one-off fluff questions and the fan asks for their instagram page before they’re allowed a break.

sakusa stalks over to you with a small scowl and you smile. “you’re doing great, handsome.”

his expression softens a bit and he offers you a kiss on the forehead. “thank you, darling. care for some lunch?”

you nod and pull him out the door before a certain trio can invite themselves to the impromptu lunch date.

you walk in comfortable silence towards the building’s food court before something pops into your mind. “kiyoomi, you never answered my question from earlier.”

he hums in acknowledgment. “and what might that be?”

“why were you so insistent on me joining you today?”

he doesn’t answer for a moment, but you wait patiently. you know he’s not ignoring you.

finally he sighs and squeezes your hand. “I feel like we haven’t been spending much time together lately outside of work… and I was hoping that by bringing you with me today we’d be able to have at least some time together…” his voice is low, but he’s not shy about it.

you fiddle with the chain around your neck, one he bought for you a while back. "that's very sweet of you, kiyo."

"and..." he hesitates a bit, but you squeeze his hand in return to encourage him. "I feel more relaxed in front of the cameras when you're there."

you melt a little bit. "I'm happy I make you feel that way, kiyoomi. thank you for kidnapping me on my day off, I suppose."

he snorts and you smile. you're about to lean in to pull his mask down for a kiss, but you're interrupted. of course.

"hey, hey, hey! there you guys are! we saw you leaving so figured we'd get lunch with you!"

you honestly don't think you could ever be mad at bokuto, but he is seriously testing your patience right now. not far behind him are atsumu and hinata, one looking smug and the other a bit sheepish. one of them probably brought up your departure to bokuto, either on purpose or accidentally you'd never know.

you sigh and pat sakusa on the back. "yeah, come on. you're all paying for your own, though."

you both ignore the whines of the fully grown children behind you and continue walking hand in hand.

~~~~

BONUS:

"so this question is directed at sakusa..." atsumu reads the question silently and the team watches as he holds back a laugh.

you watch as your boyfriend narrows his eyes at the blonde in front of him and you sigh. things had been going so well up until now.

it’s past lunch break now, and their social media manager had just given them a box full of printed out tweets with fan questions to answer. she snickers to herself as if she knows which question it is and looks pointedly at you from behind the phone she’s recording on.

you blink in confusion, but everything is made clear when atsumu opens his mouth again.

“omi-omi, user @/kiyosdear wants to know if you’re single, or if you’re in need of a dog, because they’re more than willing to bark.”

the social media manager giggles, as does the rest of the team. you feel your eye twitch a bit, but you’re easily able to shove down any possession you feel in the moment.

it’s obviously impossible to ignore so many people vying for his attention all the time, but sometimes it could be a little funny to see how flustered your boyfriend could become from the unwanted attention.

you smile at the small scowl that forms. “no thank you. I’d want nothing less.”

atsumu snorts at his curt answer and hands the box to him. sakusa picks out a question and reads it to himself before blushing furiously and turning his face away from the camera. you watch curiously as meian looks over his shoulder to see what could have garnered that reaction from him and his eyes trail to you amusedly.

the social media manager looks like she’s having a field day, zooming in on sakusa’s red face for a moment. it’s not often something flusters him that badly after all. she’ll milk it for all it’s worth.

the captain pries the paper out of your boyfriend’s hand and reads it out loud.

“@/msby_luvr asks, yo @/sakusakiyoomi, is your team's manager single? totally unrelated, @/msbymanager, are you free on thursday?"”

it’s not exactly a secret to the public that there’s something going on between you two, they just don’t know what that something is.

of course neither of you ever confirm or deny anything, but you imagine being asked outright like that is what caught him off guard.

the camera cuts to you, “offstage” laughing at the question and shaking your head a little in amusement.

or maybe he’s not shy, but rather jealous?

that’s kind of sweet.

regardless, you speak up for him, knowing he wouldn't answer. "I am not single, but thanks for asking."

the camera pans back to the team, just in time to catch the tail end of atsumu clapping your boyfriend on the shoulder.

sakusa gives you a small smile, clearly relieved you took over for him, and goes back to focusing on the interview.

hinata, the poor thing, reads the next question. “oh boy… @/msbymanager asks, sakusa and atsumu rivals to lovers arc when?”

you cackle as both men whip their heads in your direction, betrayal and incredulity on their faces.

raising your hands, you said to them “in my defence, I was still miffed about being dragged here on my day off when I sent it in!”

atsumu loudly refuted the question and the jeers from his teammates, but that was all drowned out by the look your boyfriend sent your way.

you sighed. you were really in for it later.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’ll 100% be doing more MSBY manager!reader. and I’ll do more PR scenarios as well, bc as much fun as this was to write, it didn’t have as much as I wanted to include. but I’ll have to do more research. thank you for reading!! and happy birthday sakusa <3

tags: @dira333 (ty for inspiring me to turn it into a mini-series) @emmyrosee (Ik you love Sakusa and you wanted the WIP for this a long time ago)

[starsjulia]

perfect just the way you are // leah williamson

leah williamson x neurodivergent reader

a/n : i’m literally editing and uploading all my drafts because im on a writing grind, please feel free to send requests! also this is not an accurate representation of neuroscience, this is just one of the ways i experience it!!

warnings : none really! just comfort

Leah Williamson had always been known for her steady presence, the kind of calm that could anchor an entire team even in the most intense moments. She was the one you could rely on to keep a cool head, to make the right decisions under pressure, and to maintain a certain level of detachment that kept her focused on the game. But when it came to Y/N, all of that went out the window.

Y/N was different. She wasn’t the kind of person who faded into the background or followed the crowd. Her mind was a kaleidoscope of interests and ideas, always buzzing with energy. It wasn’t uncommon for her to launch into a discussion about the migration patterns of monarch butterflies in the middle of dinner or to suddenly start wondering aloud about the physics of time travel while walking through a park. Y/N’s quirks made her endearing to those who knew her well, but they could also make her stand out in ways that weren’t always easy.

One evening, the Arsenal girls were out celebrating a hard-fought win at a cozy restaurant in town. Leah had invited Y/N along, as she always did, eager to have her by her side during the rare moments of relaxation they all shared. Y/N had been excited, rambling on about a new documentary she’d watched on ancient civilizations as they made their way to the restaurant.

The team had gathered around a long table, laughter and chatter filling the room. Y/N was seated next to Leah, as always, with Katie McCabe and Alessia Russo across from them. Y/N was her usual vibrant self, animatedly discussing the concept of time in different cultures with Alessia, who was doing her best to keep up.

“So, in ancient Egypt,” Y/N began, her hands moving as she spoke, “time was seen as this cyclical thing, not linear like we think of it today. They believed that everything was part of this ongoing cycle, which is why their rituals were so important—”

Alessia, though genuinely interested, was starting to get a little overwhelmed by the sheer amount of information. She was about to respond when Beth Mead, who was seated a few spots down, cut in with a lighthearted, but careless comment.

“Y/N, do you ever talk about anything normal?” Beth said, her tone teasing, tough Y/N sometimes had difficulty differentiating tones.

The words hung in the air for a moment, and the table went quiet. Y/N’s face fell, the light in her eyes dimming as she processed what had been said. She tried to hide it, but Leah saw the hurt flash across her features.

Leah’s expression hardened almost immediately. She knew Beth hadn’t meant any harm—Beth was like that sometimes, saying things without thinking—but that didn’t make it any less painful for Y/N. Leah felt a surge of protectiveness rise up within her, a need to shield Y/N from any hurt, intentional or not.

“Beth,” Leah’s voice was calm, but there was a steely edge to it that made everyone at the table look up. “That wasn’t necessary.”

Beth blinked, realizing too late that her comment had hit a nerve. “Oh, Y/N, I didn’t mean it like that,” she said quickly, her tone apologetic. “I just—”

But Y/N was already pulling back into herself, her earlier enthusiasm snuffed out like a candle in the wind. She offered a small, strained smile, brushing it off. “No, it’s fine. I know I can be a bit… much sometimes.”

Leah felt her heart clench at the words. She hated hearing Y/N talk about herself like that, as though her passions and quirks were something to apologize for. Without a second thought, Leah slid her chair closer to Y/N, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her into a comforting embrace.

“You’re not too much,” Leah whispered into her ear, her voice soft and reassuring. “You’re perfect, just the way you are.”

Y/N leaned into Leah’s side, the tension in her body slowly easing as she took comfort in Leah’s presence. “Really?” she asked, her voice small, filled with the vulnerability she so rarely let show.

“Really,” Leah confirmed, pressing a kiss to the side of her head. “I love the way your mind works, the way you see the world. It’s one of the things I love most about you.”

Y/N’s eyes filled with tears, though she quickly blinked them away, not wanting to make a scene. “I just… I never want to embarrass you.”

Leah’s expression softened, her hand gently cupping Y/N’s cheek as she turned her to face her. “You could never embarrass me. You’re the most incredible person I know, and I’m so proud of you—of everything that makes you who you are. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel like you need to change, least of all yourself.”

Y/N looked into Leah’s eyes, seeing nothing but sincerity and love reflected back at her. It was a balm to the wound that Beth’s accidental, careless words had opened, and she felt a wave of gratitude wash over her. Leah always knew how to make her feel seen, understood, and cherished in a way that no one else ever had.

Katie, who had been watching the exchange with a guilty look, leaned over and nudged Beth, who was still looking mortified. “Apologize properly,” Katie whispered, her tone gentle but firm.

Beth nodded, her earlier bravado replaced with genuine remorse. “Y/N, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I was just being a bit of an idiot.”

Y/N gave her a small, forgiving smile. “It’s okay, Beth. I know you didn’t mean it. I just… I get excited about things sometimes.”

Beth smiled back, relieved. “We all love that about you, Y/N. Keep being you, yeah?”

Y/N nodded, her spirits lifting slightly as the atmosphere around the table relaxed once more. Leah kept her arm around her, though, not letting go until she was sure Y/N was truly okay.

The rest of the evening passed without incident, the conversation flowing more naturally now that everyone was a bit more mindful. Leah stayed close to Y/N, making sure she felt supported and included, even as the topics shifted to more mundane matters.

Later, as they walked back to Leah’s place, Y/N was quieter than usual, her thoughts still lingering on what had happened. Leah noticed, of course—she always noticed.

“Hey,” Leah said softly, stopping in her tracks and turning to face Y/N. “You alright?”

Y/N shrugged, her eyes downcast. “I just… I don’t want people to think I’m weird, you know? I know I can be intense, and sometimes I worry that people just tolerate me because they have to.”

Leah’s heart ached at the vulnerability in Y/N’s voice. She took Y/N’s hands in hers, squeezing them gently. “You’re not weird, and people don’t just tolerate you. They care about you, Y/N. You bring something special to every room you walk into. Don’t ever doubt that.”

Y/N looked up at her, her eyes searching Leah’s for any sign of doubt. But all she saw was unwavering love and support, and it made her heart swell with emotion.

“You really think so?” Y/N asked, her voice barely above a whisper, uncertainty flickering in her gaze.

Leah nodded, her expression soft but resolute. “I do, Y/N. I think the world of you, and so do the others. Your mind, your heart, everything that makes you who you are—it’s all incredible to me.”

Y/N looked down at their joined hands, her thoughts swirling. “Sometimes it just feels like I’m too much. Like… people don’t really get me, and I’m just annoying them with the way I am.”

Leah’s grip on Y/N’s hands tightened, a surge of protectiveness washing over her. “I know it can feel like that sometimes, but I promise you, it’s not true. You’re not too much, Y/N. You’re exactly enough, exactly who you’re supposed to be. And anyone who doesn’t see that—well, they’re missing out on something amazing.”

Y/N’s eyes filled with tears again, but this time they were tears of relief, of gratitude. She felt the weight of her insecurities lifting, bit by bit, as Leah’s words sank in. “But what if… what if I’m too much for you?”

Leah’s heart broke at the vulnerability in Y/N’s voice. She reached up, gently cupping Y/N’s face in her hands, forcing her to meet her gaze. “You could never be too much for me, Y/N. I love every part of you. Your energy, your passion, the way you light up when you talk about something that excites you—I love all of it. You make my life brighter just by being in it.”

Y/N’s breath hitched, her hands trembling slightly as she absorbed Leah’s words. “I just… I don’t want to be a burden to you. I don’t want you to feel like you have to take care of me all the time.”

Leah shook her head, her thumbs brushing away the tears that had begun to fall. “You’re not a burden, not in the slightest. Being with you, caring for you, loving you—it’s the greatest privilege of my life. I want to be there for you, Y/N, in every way I can. Because that’s what love is. It’s about being there for each other, lifting each other up, and making sure we both feel safe and cherished.”

Y/N sniffled, a small, tentative smile starting to form on her lips. “You make me feel that way, Leah. You make me feel like I’m… enough.”

“You are more than enough,” Leah whispered, her voice thick with emotion. She leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to Y/N’s forehead, letting her lips linger there as she spoke. “You’re everything to me. And I’ll spend every day reminding you of that, if that’s what it takes.”

Y/N closed her eyes, letting the warmth of Leah’s words and touch envelop her. She felt the last of her doubts melting away, replaced by a deep sense of security and love. Leah had always been her rock, her safe place, and in moments like this, she knew there was nothing they couldn’t face together.

“I love you so much,” Y/N whispered, her voice barely audible, but filled with all the emotion she felt in her heart.

Leah pulled back just enough to look into Y/N’s eyes, her own gaze filled with tenderness. “And I love you, Y/N. More than you’ll ever know.”

For a moment, they just stood there, wrapped up in each other, the world around them fading into the background. There was nothing but the sound of their breathing, the feel of their hands intertwined, and the steady, comforting beat of their hearts.

Eventually, Leah broke the silence, her voice soft but firm. “You know what I think?”

Y/N tilted her head slightly, curiosity piqued. “What?”

Leah smiled, brushing a stray lock of hair behind Y/N’s ear. “I think you’re one of the most extraordinary people I’ve ever met. And I’m not just saying that because I love you. I’m saying it because it’s true. You see the world in ways most people can’t even begin to understand, and that’s a gift. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel like you need to dim that light.”

Y/N’s heart swelled with emotion, her earlier doubts fading into the background as Leah’s words wrapped around her like a warm blanket. “Thank you,” she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. “Thank you for loving me like this.”

Leah’s smile widened, her eyes shining with affection. “I’m the one who’s thankful, Y/N. Thankful that I get to love you, that I get to be the person by your side. I’ll always be here for you, no matter what.”

Y/N felt a deep sense of peace settle over her, the kind that came from knowing she was truly loved for who she was. With Leah by her side, she felt like she could face anything the world threw at her. Because Leah wasn’t just her partner—she was her safe place, her anchor, and the person who made her feel like she was perfect just the way she was.

[mm-lurking]

MAY I REQUEST FOR ANGST POOKS 😘😝 MYBE ABT BRINGING UP THEIR DEAD EX BY ACCIDENT DURING AN ARGUEMENT? THERES RARELY ANY ANGST IM GETTING MAD 👹

I saw your ask at 11 pm and something about the way you wrote your request made me giggle so hard idk why 🤣 Since you demand angst I shall give it to you. You’re my first ask btw so thank you very much! 

I’m not sure which character you wanted me to write for so I’m going to go for Blade and Aventurine. Though feel free to send me specific characters through the ask again!

Warnings: no fluff at all, pure angst, fem! reader and ex, reader has no chill running her mouth, Aventurine’s kinda feels ooc sorry about that WC: 1881

Blade

You were a hair’s breadth away from being gravely injured. If it weren’t for Blade’s interruption you would have been Antimatter Legion dinner tonight. In your eyes you weren’t in that much danger, you knew you could handle it on your own but in Blade’s eyes, it was just another flashback to how he lost her. It felt frustrating to watch him downplay your capabilities, it's not like you were some weak damsel in distress. There was a reason your relations with the Stellaron Hunters had lasted as far as it had; you were good at wielding your weapon and making good use of the enemy’s weaknesses. Sure there were moments when you were in trouble but you never really got to live the thrill of it because Blade would always step in to help you even when you didn’t ask for it. 

You loved him dearly and appreciated his assistance but just for this instance, you wanted to deal with things by yourself. Ultimately your agitation got the best of you and so now here you were with your arms crossed, glaring at Blade after the enemy was taken care of.

“Have you always been this foolish?”

You stare at him with wide eyes and an open mouth, questioning his audacity of insulting you like this.

“Excuse me?”

“You could have gotten hurt.”

He says matter-of-factly and you feel your jaws clench at the way he speaks to you.

“Blade I am fully capable of looking after myself! I need you to stop interrupting my fights!”

“If I didn’t that Antimatter Legion pawn would have sliced your head off your shoulders.”

“And how the hell do you know that was going to happen?! I could have fought it easily if it weren’t for you!”

He turns around and looks at you with cold eyes which make you flinch momentarily.

“You overestimate yourself.”

“I do not! I have worked relentlessly on my skills! I know what I can handle or what I can’t! You just never allow me to prove it!”

“You are a fool. I do not need to see you pushed to your limits to acknowledge your skills.”

“Then why the hell won’t you let me do what I want?!”

You both argue back and forth with neither of you backing down. Blade speaks calmly, just as he always has but with slight frustration whereas you on the other hand are full-on yelling and boiling over to the point of rage. He takes a deep breath and continues.

“I am just looking out for you-”

“I am not weak like Chun. Stop treating me like I am.”

You almost immediately regret it the moment those words leave your mouth. Your words are sharp and bitter, and pierce his heart like a blade slashing through flesh. His eyes are ablaze with fury and pain and the way his jaw clenches is enough to let you know you have overstepped your boundary.

Chun was his first love. She was a good woman with a kind heart, and despite how odd she looked amongst the Stellaron Hunters, they welcomed her as long as it made Blade happy. But in a world full of evil, being kind is a weakness and ultimately she met her end in the hands of an enemy during heated negotiations. For the one whose life was already cursed by immortality, he took her death hard and swore never to love again, for he couldn’t bear to witness yet another loved one depart for the nth time in his long life. His already broken heart took ages to heal and by the time you crossed paths with him, he was still grieving over her. You knew this very well because it was you who assured him that history wouldn’t repeat itself with you. It was you who helped him heal further and gave him the confidence to open his heart up once more to you. You knew what she meant to him because he had been honest with you about his past yet-

“Blade I-”

-here you were driving the very knife you had taken out of him so lovingly back into his heart in full force. He looks at you with so much despise and agony that your heart hurts knowing you are the cause for it. A blade being stabbed over and over into his body hurt, but those wounds always healed after a while. Yet the wound your words had caused was one that no medication could fix. Your throat tightens and you want to reach out to him and hold him but you stay glued to your feet.

“We don’t need to be around each other anymore.”

Despite the torment he feels, he looks straight into your eyes and monotonously speaks. There is not even a single moment spared for you to reply as he walks out of the room and slams the door shut, indicating he is done with you. The door closing was not just the end of the argument you both were having, it was also the end of what you were to each other. You stand there rooted to the ground as tears sting your eyes. Why did you have to be like this?

Aventurine

“Aventurine I swear to god I am not playing your petty games again.”

You angrily huff as you cross your arms and glare at Aventurine with disapproval. The audacity of this man was truly something, especially at a time like this. You both were stuck in an interesting situation, where Aventurine had made a gamble with an enemy territory and he wanted you to be part of it. More precisely, he wanted to turn you into his bargaining chip for a while. There was one tiny problem. He wasn’t asking for your approval, he had already made the deal.

“The table has already been set, friend. You just have to play your role real well.”

Your jaw hangs low when you realise what he has done. 

“Aventurine don’t tell me….”

“They have decided to ask for you in exchange of information. Do not worry, I will find a way to-“

He doesn’t get to finish his sentence as a loud slap resonates across the room. You stare at him in disbelief with tears welling your eyes, unable to process what he has done. A shaky sigh leaves his mouth and he stares at you, bewildered by your behaviour.

“It hasn’t even been a full week since we finished another deal and you want me to jump head-on into another one?!”

“Was there a need to slap me like this? If you’re forgetting, friend, you agreed to help me out on these deals regardless of the risk. Or should I have the doctor examine your memory?”

“Aventurine I agreed to help you out, not be used however you please! You could have at least asked me first before making the deal!”

You rub your temples and rethink the entire situation through. Your relationship with Aventurine was compatible due to one simple fact: you both loved taking risks. The thrill of the gamble and the adrenaline of waiting for the results kept you both alive. It was the drug you both needed in this cruel unjust world.

But this, this was different. This wasn’t just any gamble and it wasn’t a small one either. Being traded off to the enemy territory for a few weeks was no easy task and you have no idea what the hell Aventurine was thinking. In your last deal, you barely made it out alive as the tables turned against your favour. It was a miracle your assets weren’t taken and that you weren’t killed in the process.

“…I promise you will be fine, friend.”

Tears sting your eyes and you try to take a deep breath. 

“How can you be so sure?”

“The gaiaithra triclops blesses me abundantly. We will not lose.”

“Is that what you said to Lilac as well before her demise?”

You hear how his breath hitches in his throat at the mention of Lilac. He coughs a little and then stares at you with a look you cannot decipher.

“Do not bring her up.”

His voice is a mere whisper and you know you’re crossing some lines already. Yet you don’t stop there. You jab your right index finger into his chest with every word you speak.

“I don’t know what’s worse, being a gambling chip on purpose or being a gambling chip unknowingly, like she was.”

He grips the hand you have on his chest tightly. You can’t help but wince a little at how he’s looking at you with red eyes filled with regret and anger. He tries to speak but you cut him off.

“Was losing her not enough to learn your lesson? Or do you turn everyone you love into pawns of your game?”

“You’re crossing the line now.”

He warns and you shake your head.

“You treat everyone like an asset, even the ones who truly love you without any hidden agenda. No wonder you couldn’t save Lilac-“

“Enough!”

Before you can process what is going on Aventurine pulls out a gun from his inner coat pocket and shoots a random vase on the table behind you. The bang of the gun and the loud shattering of the ceramic into pieces makes you jump and shake a little. He then shifts his gaze on you and lets your hand go before issuing his warning.

“…you need to leave. Leave before I accidentally hurt you.”

“I-“

“I said leave!”

He points the gun at you. His hand is shaking in a manner you have never seen before and you can tell he doesn’t want to do this but you’re giving him no choice. You stare at him for a moment and nod your head before scurrying away.

Once you’re out of his sight he plops onto the nearest sofa and drops his gun. It lands with a loud thud as he puts his head into his hands and shakes visibly. Flashbacks of that dreaded day start to play over and over in his head and he clenches his teeth as a tear rolls down his eye.

Lilac was a woman he met during one of his travels as an IPC stoneheart. They got along pretty well and eventually fell in love. A few years ago, Aventurine asked her for help during a deal he made and she agreed only for the other party to target her as leverage against Aventurine. He still remembers the pain in her eyes as she looked at him, confused and hurt from how she became the target. He remembers holding her in his arms apologising over and over for his lack of foresight, unable to figure out where he went wrong.

It was the first and last deal he ever lost. And now you, his new partner after several hard years of grief, were bringing up old wounds that never healed. Gaps of his heart that nothing would ever fill. Another tear rolls down his eye as he grits his teeth further. Had he known you would bring her up like this, he would have never told you about her. It’s always the closest ones that hurt you the most. ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ ©mm-lurking 2024 do not copy, steal or reuse my work.

[squadmuse]

NSFW ALPHABET

THE DEREK SHEPHERD EDITION

A - Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Derek Shepherd is such a cuddler and so affectionate like seriously such a teddy bear. He makes sure that you’re okay, wanting to be certain that you’re good. He loves bubble baths with you so he’ll run a bath and it’s hard for him to stop necking you in it.

B - Body part (their favourite body part of theirs and their partner’s body)

Derek likes his hands, he knows how skilled they are, whether it’s sex or surgery. On you, Derek is partial to your neck and ass, he loves giving you neck kisses and smacking your ass.

C - Cum (anything to do with cum basically…)

Derek loves cumming inside your pussy, but he also enjoys releasing inside your mouth or on your face and seeing it.

D - Dirty Secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Derek loves it when you give him your panties, which he puts in his pocket. He’s an adrenaline junkie and that riskiness really gets him going.

E - Experience (how experienced are they, do they know what they are doing?)

Oh Derek is experienced and knows what he’s doing. He’s been married in the past to Addison, who knows who he’s had before that and then with Meredith & Rose… that man has the experience and the ability to absolutely wreck you in bed.

F - Favourite Position (again, pretty self explanatory…)

Hmm… Derek enjoys a lot of different positions and he’s definitely read the Kama Sutra, but his favourite position is doggystyle. He loves getting to have access to your ass, boobs, neck and pussy.

G - Goofy (are they more serious in the moment or are they more humorous?)

When your relationship with Derek develops, he becomes a lot more goofy and silly with you in bed and such a sweetheart. Not that he wasn’t already, but before he was more serious about it all and getting to know you and your body.

H - Hair (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes?)

Derek is well groomed. He’s not bare or anything like that but he keeps it trimmed.

I - Intimacy (how are they during the moment? Are they romantic?)

Derek is such a romantic! So sweet, so loving and tender. He is so affectionate to you and loves getting to worship you & your body.

J - Jack Off (masturbation…)

Derek doesn’t do it that much. That’s not to say he doesn’t, sometimes your shifts at hospital don’t match up with his and he’d never think about cheating on you.

K - Kink (what are their kink/s?)

Derek is quite kinky… exhibitionism, breeding kink, you in lingerie, dirty talk etc.

L - Location (where are their favourite places to do the do?)

Derek loves to do it anywhere. In a hospital on-call room, bathroom or his office, in his trailer or the home has made for you both, outdoors on his acres of land… the man is raring to go wherever and whenever!.

M - Motivation (what turns them on, what gets them going?)

Derek doesn’t need much motivation when it comes to you, he’s just so attracted and in love with you. Whether you’re in scrubs and tired from a long surgery, or in some lacy lingerie and your perfume fanning his senses.

N - No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs?)

Derek will never ever hurt you in sex. He hates abuse or violence and will never do anything to hurt you, and while he might be kinky, Derek isn’t a fan of pain play or stuff like that. He will never do a threesome though, he won’t share you and won’t do anything with anyone other than you.

O - Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill etc)

Derek is so good at oral sex. His talented tongue with precise licks to your pussy is just so mind blowing as he expertly brings you to orgasm. He isn’t against a blowjob from you, he loves it when you pull him into a supply cupboard at work for one.

P - Pace (are they fast and rough, soft and sensual?)

Derek is both. It just depends on the mood he’s in and how you are. He is so good in bed that either way doesn’t matter, Derek is sure to give you a pace that has you orgasming so much. The faster sex happens more at work or on his private land though.

Q - Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often etc.)

Quickies happen a lot with Derek. It can be that you’re both at work in the hospital and want each other, so you fuck in an on-call room or that one of you needs to blow off steam from stress or a surgery so you fuck in a supply cupboard. Or you’re on the private land around his trailer or the home he has built for the two of you, and the adrenaline gets you both going quick and fast.

R - Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks?)

Derek is such a risk taker, he is a bona fide adrenaline junkie who lives for a thrill and risk - just look at how risky he can be taking on difficult cases at work? That applies to you and sex too… car sex, roleplay, phone sex etc.

S - Stamina (how many rounds can they go? How long do they last?)

Derek can go a few rounds. He’s a healthy guy, so perhaps three rounds. He can last quite long, and is quick to get raring to go again.

T - Toys (do they own toys, do they use toys? on a partner or themselves?)

Derek is open to using toys on you, but I don’t see him particularly interested in them being used on him. He loves tying you up, he’s an outdoorsman who knows how to tie good knots. Derek will never do pegging and he’s quite vanilla so likes it when you tie him up or use your fluffy handcuffs on him. Blindfolds are used, so are vibrators and cock rings.

U - Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Derek is a tease of the highest order, he just loves teasing you so much.

V - Volume (how loud are they, what sounds do they make etc?)

Oh the mouth on this man… Derek curses and moans, grunts and talks such dirty things that he has you so wet.

W - Wild Card (random headcanon)

Derek would love to have sex on a ferry boat.

X - X-Ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Hmm… Derek is a nice size, he’s not giant or too big but he is able to fit just perfectly and reach all the right spots. He’s cut, and slightly veiny. His cock is kind of more wide than long.

Y - Yearning (how high is their sex drive)

Derek has such a high sex drive and you are not complaining. Sex can happen every day between you two or even a few times a day.

Z - Zzz (how quickly do they fall asleep afterwards)

Derek can fall asleep quickly after sleep if it’s not at work. He’s a light sleeper and will wake if he feels you moving or squirming so to make sure you’re not in pain.

[r4ikkonen]

hi! I can see you've written some nsfw a-z, would you like to make one for charles as well? :)

NSFW ALPHABET | CHARLES LECLERC

A/N heyyy!Tysm for requesting!Sorry it took me so long to finally write this I got really unmotivated but anyway enjoy reading this <3

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Charles is considered to be very romantic and he genuinely cares about you.He cares when you trip over a small rock.That makes him an expert in aftercare.After sex he would always check up on you and see if you’re okay.He always makes sure he spoons you behind and gives you cuddles afterwards.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Charles’ favorite body part are his hands, because he gets to touch you,pleasure you and hug you with them and of course he drives with them.However when it comes to you he loves your eyes.He can get so lost in them sometimes and that’s why they amaze him the most.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Charles doesn’t mind making mess he just wants to show you how good at sex he is.He always makes sure that he gives his best to satisfy you.When it comes to cum he loves cumming in your mouth a lot.It’s his favorite spot and he loves the view of you looking st him with your mouth full of his stuff.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Charles’ dirty secret is that he loves watching you dress or shower.It turns him on like nothing else.Even tho he isn’t participating he would just stare at you for awhile while you’re dressing up.It’s not rare that he creeps up from behind and joins you in the shower too.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Surprisingly he is everything but not experienced enough.He is really trying, he has been with a few girls before and he knows the “basics” but sometimes he thinks that it’s not enough for you.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

His favorite position is missionary.He loves locking eye contact with you especially when you’re close to having your orgasm.Your look drives him crazy.You would suggest some other positions which he’s up to doing but Missionary is his favorite.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Charles isn’t so serious during sex.Occasionally you guys throw in some jokes which makes both of you pause for a second.As long as both of you are having fun and that’s what’s most important to him.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He makes sure he is ready for you.He is trimmed and doesn’t like having a jungle down there so he always makes sure that he looks fine.When it comes to you he prefers when you’re all shaved it’s easier for both of you.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

You both find intimacy important.And that’s why he always tries to surprise you with small stuff like flowers,breakfast etc.During sex he makes sure he leaves the marks around your neck so you would have a hard time covering them up.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He doesn’t mind pleasing himself when he’s away from you.But that’s very rare thankfully.He is not ashamed of telling you that he pleased himself with the newest picture from your instagram.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

He isn’t very kinky, but one thing that he absolutely loves is when you make a show for him.Sometimes if he had a hard day and he came home to you laying on the bed waiting for him to fuck you.That really relieves his pain.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

His favorite place to have sex with you is at his apartment in Monaco.He admires doing you in his bedroom with the gorgeous landscape view.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Charles is the one to come up to you and tell you that he is in the mood, even if you’re in the public and when both of you are aware of the risk.If he sees a tiny cloth of your underwear it would automatically turn him on or even when you just look at him.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He would never do anything that would hurt you.He knows that you are sensitive and he never plans on doing anything too harsh.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He absolutely loves when you give him a blowjob few minutes before the race to relieve his nervousness.When he is very desperate he would just come up and eat you out like a dessert.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He likes to keep it slow and take his time.He knows that he doesn’t have to be fast like he is on the track even tho you sometimes suggest that he goes faster which he gladly agrees on doing.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Charles would do anything to have sex with you.You always surprise him when you’re out buying clothes with him and you just take him to the closet and let him do you well.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He always makes sure he has any kind of protection with him and you’re on the birth control. He isn’t the one for risking.If both of you are horny at the time he would just eat you out and you would give him a blowjob.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Charles can last really long which confuses you sometimes.He can even stay all night long.It’s amazing how high this man’s sex drive actually is.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

You do own some toys and he is very well aware of it but you don’t like bringing them up to bad so often.Sometimes he’d insist on teasing you with them.But that’s rare too.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Charles is a big of a tease.He would tease you till you get mad at him, which just makes him even happier.He would always tell you to be patient and to let him do his job but all that mumbling just annoys you.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He isn’t so vocal as you.. When he is close or finishing up he would drop a few grunts and moans but during sex never, you on the other hand.. you would scream his name quite a lot and that would just turn him on even more.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

It was a random monday morning and both of you were in Monaco, he came up behind you while you were brushing your teeth and whispered “how about we try breaking in the sofa on the balcony” You gave him a serious look but he just carried you to the balcony and gave you the sex of your life.Afterwards you were just hoping that noone saw that.Otherwise both of you would be in serious trouble.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Charles is more than an average actually and you always complimented him on it.He is about 7 inches and he’s very proud of it.It’s his secret weapon.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

His sex drive is crazy high.So is yours.You guys seem to always match your energy and have sex all the goddamn time.Probably about few times a week.Depends on how much you guys have to do.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

For Charles it’s different, sometimes he can stay up late and just lay in the bed with his head burried in your chest and sometimes he would fall asleep right after it.That’s how you know that he really reslly enjoyed it.

[becsabillion4]

take it out on me (carmen berzatto x reader)

so this is my first time posting a fic of mine on tumblr since i was 14 and i'm slightly terrified by the formatting but i posted this on ao3 yesterday and someone told me to post here too (<3) so i hope you all enjoy it as much as i enjoy the thought of getting pounded by carmy in the walk-in

pairing : carmen berzatto x f!reader

summary : Carmy is having a terrible service, and you're sure some time in the walk-in will help him cool off (although it gets hotter in there than you might think).

word count : 4,410

tags: SMUT, rough sex, angry sex, unprotected sex, fingering, creampie, choking, semi-public sex, ending with soft carmy which makes it all okay, 18+ only

note: this is explicit 18+ only and also this is NOT an advert for safe sex, it is merely a fantasy i have been playing with since my own days as a waitress and carmy has helped me to realise it. also i'm obsessed and i know y'all degenerates won't send help so instead i ask that you send me asks so i can write more about this wonderful man

Disorienting. Overwhelming. Stressful, painful, unrelenting. Burning your hand hard enough for it to stick to the pan, hard enough that you know on the way to the sink it’s too late, that you’ll bear the scar of that mistake for the rest of your life. Knives slicing always so close to your skin, living on the point of pain, focus trained so hard on the blade you can’t even blink. Shouting, screaming, the place could be on fire, and you wouldn’t look up from the art you’re creating. Flames licking at your apron. Beautiful.

Kitchens are the prison and the heart of a chef, and the one at The Bear is currently the pride and the bane of your life. Plating up your one billionth focaccia of the evening as Marcus rushes by holding a tray of cannolis aloft, you try to tune out Sydney shouting instructions to the new servers, trying to drill something, anything, into their panicked, under-developed skulls. 

But none of this worries you. What worries you is the ominous, creeping silence from the station to your right, where you know Carmy is cooking up not only the best food you’ve ever tasted, but an internal storm that is going to be unleashed any, second, now-

“Chefs! Where the fuck is my garnish? Tina, are you dead? ‘Cos you need to wake the fuck back up.”

Tina is already by Carmy’s side with the garnish, but the damage is done. She doesn’t bristle at his words, but shoots you a worried look as she slides by, murmuring, “Sorry, Chefs. Behind.”

Since you started working at The Bear six months back, you’ve witnessed a rare few Carmy outbursts, and you know everyone feels the same way when they happen. It’s like the moment you miss a step on familiar stairs, stomach lurching and fear sweeping through your body. Carmy is this kitchen, and his boiling point is the moment things tend to spin out of control. 

And yet, Tina’s reaction is everyone’s; disappointment in herself, instant forgiveness because she knows Carmy is doing everything he can for this team. Last week, after you and Sydney spent the evening getting wasted on her couch, she’d confessed to you how hard Carmy took his notorious opening night failure, and how he’s been struggling to make up for it since then. And it’s been working; his kindness, patience, and passion for elevating those around him have always outshone the occasional harsh word during service.

But this service is just bad. It’s been bad since 5AM, when you got here to take in the delivery and found out that the grapes needed for the welcome broth had somehow been left off of the order. It’s been bad since Marcus ruined three batches of cannolis in a row, and when Sydney tried to touch his shoulder and ask him what was going on, he stormed out. Since Sydney snapped at Richie for singing Taylor Swift badly during family. The hundred little underlying frissons of tension that normally dissipate as soon as service rolls around have congealed today, like oil in balsamic vinegar, rubbing together but refusing to meld into the team you know everyone can be.

And you know Carmy can feel it. His anger is a physical thing beside you, like standing next to a hot pan with too much oil in it and just waiting for it to start spitting at you. Knowing you have to keep stirring it anyway.

“Four top, two steak, one bucatini, one fish,” Sydney rattles off, and everyone responds “Yes, Chef!” a little too loud.

“Can I get some hands for this focaccia,” you shout through the din, pushing the two boards forward, but nobody responds. “Hands, please, get these off my station before I eat ‘em!” you call, trying to bring some levity to the atmosphere before-

“Hands, fuckin’ hands, Chefs, FUCK!” Carmy explodes, appearing by your side so suddenly you almost jump. His hands hover over the foccacia boards like he wants to adjust something on them, fix something, but you know as well as he does that they’re perfect already.

And of course, this just makes things worse.

Carmy properly looks up for the first time, straightening out of the “chef about to have an aneurysm over plating this fish” posture and into his “everyone here is about to get fucked” pose. “These are good to go, why are we not? Jesus. Jesus fucking Christ. Go fuck yourselves-” one of the new waitresses approaches with trembling hands and Carmy pushes the boards at her, disgusted, almost taking them over the edge of the pass, “-all of you, what is the point of any of us being here if nothing is leaving the fucking kitchen!”

“Carm, it’s okay, they’re going out,” you can’t help cutting in, but you should know better than to try to soothe a wild animal. Carmy doesn’t say anything, turns back to plating up his fish, but his beautiful artist’s hands, which you often find yourself trying to draw in the margins of inventory checks, are shaking now. You’ve never seen him this bad. The whole kitchen waits on a knife edge. You glance up, watching the waitress leave with your focaccia, and have a brief but fervent desire to be her as the doors swing her out of this hellhole.

The fish is beautiful as Carmy puts the finishing touches to it. A server steps up to take it as other dishes for the same table coalesce at the front of stations, all elegant, all perfect, all more than worthy of the restaurant’s Michelin star.

Carmy is completely still. Staring. And you know it’s too late.

Plunging his fist down, he crushes the fish into sea-scented pulp. The shells of oysters, hand-selected, crack into broken-mirror shards; the sauce is peppered with shoddy scraps of lobster tail.

It’s still not enough for Carmy, as he picks up the plate and sends it spinning into the back wall, narrowly missing Sweeps’ head. “ Shit, ” Carmy mutters, turning back to his station and searching for more things to destroy. You watch him contemplate the knives, and you can’t stay out of it any longer.

“Carmy. Chef. Carmy,” you say as you reach out to grab his muscled arm, pulling him round to face you. You can feel the tension corded deep under his skin, see the sheen of sweat coating his tattoos. Normally, any skin contact with him sends your brain into overdrive, but you can’t afford to be anything but calm right now.

His eyes are wild, but you watch him steadily, and he watches you straight back. You’re not sure why, but the moment reminds you of how you felt on those rare occasions he invited you and Syd over to brainstorm new recipes in his cramped kitchen. Especially that time Sydney couldn’t make it, and you were midway through describing your idea for a yuzu-infused scallops course to him - “with maybe, like, a garnish of broccoli just absolutely smothered in hollandaise” - when he reached forward, tucked a scrap of hair behind your ear, and the very idea of food whisked straight out of your head - but you still felt hungry. And whilst he’d tried out your broccoli idea over and over again that night, you found yourself blushing every time he passed you a spoon to taste it. 

You never could get that dish right. Every time you thought about it, you couldn’t separate the flavours from the curious look in his eyes, the way he drank in your ideas, absorbed them before he responded, how his eyes tracked every thought that crossed your face.

Now here you are again, staring at that measured, thoughtful man turned savage, and you wonder if you have the guts to do what you’ve been thinking about doing for a while.

“I’m not afraid of you,” you murmur beneath the clatter of plates behind you, just for him. You don’t look away even when you hear something shatter. You move your hand from his arm, up over his shoulder, push your palm into the curve of his neck and hold it there. 

Then you wait, feel his shoulders jumping up and down with his rapid breathing. Wait until he leans into it a little, chasing your solidity, and it’s all the response you need.

“Come with me.” It’s not a question, but he nods anyway.

“Sydney, you got this?” You ask, never taking your eyes from Carmy’s face, worried that if you do, you’ll lose whatever grip you have on him right now.

“Yes, Chef,” she replies, and you feel her edge round the side of Carmy to put another fish on rapid fire. He catches her eye as she passes, and brings his hand up to his chest, rubbing it once in what has become the team’s official way to apologise during service. She responds in kind, and he lets you drag him off the station, past the others shooting him worried looks, straight into the walk-in.

You shut the door carefully, recalling the stories of Carmy’s previous imprisonment. It’s still securely closed, giving you both some calm and privacy to cool off.

Except cooling off is not really what you have in mind.

You turn to see Carmy slumped in the corner, curled in on himself and running his hands through his already-chaotic hair. He stands again suddenly, bracing his hands on the wall behind him as if to remind himself they exist.

“Carmy.”

“Yeah, shit. Sorry, I just need a second. It’s just, I didn’t sleep at all last night. I was thinking about doing something with ceviche, but I couldn’t figure out what fish would work best, and then that sorta spiralled into a panic attack which kept me up whisking eggs for something until three, and then-” You watch his eyes darting over the shelves around him as he talks, and you realise he’s taking stock of what’s there. Even during a full-blown meltdown, he cannot stop working, stop thinking. He starts pacing.

“Carmy,” you say again as you try to catch his eye. He’s staring at some spare T-bones like they’ll explain to him whatever dish he was whisking eggs for last night. Fuck it. You grab his chin, tilt it until he has to look at you.

“D’you know the best way to calm down?”

“Lock yourself in the walk-in for three hours?” He’s trying to relieve some tension, but you have other ideas on how to handle that.

“Sex, Carmy.”

There. You’re terrified that you finally acknowledged it, finally confessed to what you’ve been thinking about for months, but thank God it’s out in the open. You’ve been blushing at his compliments on your food for far too long, ignoring how good he looks in a white tee for even longer. And today has been such a shitshow it can’t possibly get any worse by admitting to this too.

You wait for Carmy to shut it down, laugh it off, maybe even fire you, but he just looks shellshocked. Then again, that is his default look.

“I, um…” He rubs a hand over his forehead, glances up at you almost shyly. “I mean, um. What?”

“Listen, you’re fucking up service. You’re distracted, tired, stressed beyond belief. I want to help you, and I won’t pretend it’s just out of the goodness of my own heart. I’ve been interested in you for a while, Carmy. You can take that or leave it or kick me out of this walk-in if you want, but I’m here. I want to help you work through things, through all this anger. And…I want you to know you can take it out on me. And maybe even feel better at the same time.”

Carmy is flushed, and you’re all out of words. You kind of wish he was still looking at the T-bones.

“We, uh, we can’t.” Carmy leans back on a freezer for support, crossing his arms in a pose you normally associate with him working something out in his head, deciding what a dish is missing or what it needs to take it up a notch. “I mean, not now. Not here, at least. And I don’t know, we work together. I’m your boss. It’s not a good idea.” He reaches a hand round to his back, starts massaging the strain away there. It’s an especially effective position as he doesn’t have to look at you as he does it, as he says, “Sorry.”

You shrug a little, smile. Try to pretend it doesn’t hurt. Keep it professional, or as professional as you can get in a kitchen. “Hey, it was worth a shot. Get some sleep, Chef.”

You turn to go, hoping that stirring and slicing and plating up will shake off the embarrassment currently burning through to your bones.

But you don’t live to regret the offer as Carmy grabs your arm, spins you and shoves you hard enough into the walk-in door that it rattles on its hinges.

“Hey, everything okay in there Chefs?” you hear Marcus call, and it’s a reality check you absolutely don’t want right now. Carmy doesn’t even seem to have heard him, trailing kisses down your neck, collarbone, shoulder as your body arches into the feeling. You’ve had one too many fantasies about this walk-in since you started, but the actual feeling doesn’t begin to touch the dream.

“Yeah, all good Chef!” You manage to reply, but you barely get the ‘Chef’ out before Carmy’s lips slide over yours, pushing, demanding entry as his body keeps you pressed up against the door. Talk about being between a rock and a hard place, is all you have time to think between kisses.

There is no room or time for playing around. Carmy needs this, and you intend to provide, but you’re damn sure getting everything you can out of it just in case it never happens again. One of your hands curls deep into his hair, pulling his head back as your teeth click together in the ferocity of the kiss. You swear you can taste blood, but neither one of you pulls back, the saltiness only urging you on. Your other hand is busy loosening his belt, and you tug it hard to pull the silver prong free of the leather, hard enough that his hips jerk forward into yours and you moan, long and low.

Gravity suddenly spins on its axis as Carmy lifts you, turns and drops you down onto the freezer Fak installed last week. And for once in your life, thank you, Fak. The movement seems to shake Carmy out of it for a second, and he pulls back, hesitates. A hand curves around your cheek, and you can feel an apology coming, see the reticence forming in his eyes. And honestly, fuck that.

You hook fingers through his belt loops, dragging him closer and then using them to tug his trousers down. You’re not gentle as you reach into his underwear, wrap a hand around his cock, and you can tell that’s what he needs as he hisses, his head drifting back.

Removing his hand from your cheek, you guide it slowly down to your neck. His head snaps up, and there’s a darkness, a need, that wasn’t there before as you move your hand slowly, torturously, down his length.

“Hey,” you whisper, reluctant to interrupt the low grunts spilling from him with each of your movements. “I’m not going to break.”

You squeeze his fingers around your throat a little tighter, and it’s this that has him surging forward, messy mouths pressing together again and everything condensing into a rippling, burning, rightness as the fingers of his other hand shove themselves between your legs.

He lingers there for a moment, breaths short and sharp in your ear as he breaks free from your kiss and whispers, “If we had more time, I would clean up the mess you’re making all over my freezer, Chef.”

“My apologies, Chef,” you pant, the sweetness of the apology marred slightly by your fingers tugging hard through his curls. Then you’re pushing up his white shirt at the back, reveling in the heat of him, the muscles straining under your touch. “What’s my punishment?”

Carmy hesitates, then withdraws his fingers from you slowly, and it feels like the calm before the storm. One hand is still pressed loosely around your neck as he brings the other up to your face, runs the edge of his still-wet fingers over your lips. Asking or demanding, you don’t know, but you’re happy to comply. His pupils are blown so wide you can barely see the blue behind them, and when you slide your mouth over his fingers, taste yourself on him, he closes them in momentary bliss. And it’s so beautiful to see that you can’t resist pulling him in to share.

A Michelin-star chef with one of the most sophisticated palates on the planet. A renowned food critic once wrote of him, “In my next life, I’d like to be just one of the taste buds in Carmen Berzatto’s mouth.” And here he is, savouring you, tongue searching out every corner of your mouth as if he wants to figure out each and every component of your taste. Add the recipe of you to his menu, and make it every night.

You’re both done waiting, and the clock is ticking. You can faintly hear Sydney calling orders through the wall, although she sounds steadier now. You don’t know whether anyone out there knows what you’re doing, but a rampaging elephant couldn’t stop Sydney when she’s on a roll.

Carmy pulls you closer to the freezer’s edge, jeans and underwear falling to his ankles and suddenly he is right there, and-

“Oh, fuck,” is all you can say as he pushes forward in one swift, animal movement. And oh, pain flickers down your spine as he slides almost free of you and thrusts back, relentless, and this is exactly what you signed up for.

“ Fuck ,” he echoes, hand sliding down your neck to settle over your racing heart. “Fuck, you…I don’t know how you do this to me,” he pants, and you try to keep your moaning down so you can hear as words spill from him, “When you come in with your hair down before a shift, when you - ah - when you borrow my knife and I see you using it all service, when you let me light your fuckin’ cigarette for you. Shit. You drive me crazy on purpose, and you wanna know what the worst part is?”

You can’t breathe, let alone answer him.

“The worst part is I eat that shit up every time, ” he snarls, punctuating every word with a short, sharp thrust.

This is the animal you saw tonight, spitting curses, destroying his own food, all sharp edges and uncompromising will. Grunting as he bottoms out inside you, fingers clenched around your upper thigh hard enough to bruise, littering bites over your neck as if your colleagues aren’t an unlocked door away.

But the animal isn’t the end of Carmen Berzatto. There is more to him than the bear, and you intend to remind him of that before you’re through.

“Look around you,” you pant as he thrusts again, harder, sweeter, and you have to get this out before you tip over the edge. So you risk bringing the hand you were using to support yourself forward to turn his chin towards the walk-in’s walls, to beyond them, to the restaurant hard at work and the satisfied diners metres away who have no idea what’s going on in here, and fuck if that doesn’t make it all the more delicious. “Look what you made. Look who you are.” You watch his flushed face, hope he understands the praise, but you can’t hold on anymore to see your words land.

“You’re fuckin’ unbelievable, Carmy,” is all you manage to choke out as every muscle in your body lights up, tenses and releases in a flood so strong you wonder if you’ll ever surface, and if you even want to.

Carmy fucks forward into you twice more, and his head drops onto your shoulder as he groans, shudders, relaxes fully for what may be the first time in his life.

You stroke a hand over his head, pull him closer. You’re not quite sure when this stopped being a no-holds-barred quickie and became a quiet, intense embrace, but it feels right. All the desperation, the keyed-up energy, is gone from him. And if he never wants anything more than that, even though the idea is more than a little disappointing, you can take consolation from the fact that you at least managed to stop a raging Carmy in his tracks.

Although it is a little quiet.

“Carmy?” You ask, hesitant to break the silence. Thankfully, it still sounds like it’s all bustle outside. You wonder how long you’ve been in here, and try not to think about how you’re going to emerge with any shred of dignity intact.

Carmy pulls back, and you can’t define the look on his face, but it worries you. His eyes shine slightly, and his gaze skips across your face, down your body, not holding your stare.

“Are you okay?” You ask, praying this isn’t about to get really awkward really quick. The man’s still inside you, for Christ’s sake.

“Yeah. I, um, I should be asking you that.” Carmy’s hands skim down your sides, fingers pressing in randomly as if to check for bruises. He tilts his head to look under your chin, as if to check he hasn’t caused any permanent damage to your neck. “Jesus. Are you alright? I’m sorry, that was rough.”

“I’m totally fine.” You don’t know what to do to reassure him, so opt for two big thumbs up. “See? Voice working and everything.”

Carmy chuckles unevenly, takes a careful step back, and you try not to consider how empty you feel and how cold and slippery the freezer now is underneath you. You hop off, catching yourself on the side when you realise just how shaky your legs are. When you glance up at Carmy, he’s just staring at you, which is, frankly, unnerving.

“Do I look that bad?” you ask, pulling your hair out of what’s left of a ponytail to start again.

“No. No, I’m just…I’m just taking you in.” The raw honesty in his eyes pins you in place for a moment. But of course, Richie shouts “ Cousin!” before you can read into it too much.

There is a moment of panicked dressing and clean-up, a nod to each other to confirm you both look relatively sane and not totally fucked (even though you doubt it), and then a collective deep breath as you push open the door of the walk-in.

You don’t catch anyone’s eye for a second as you head to your station, Carmy’s presence like an open flame behind you.

“Corner. Corner. Behind, sorry Chefs,” you call as you slide back into place. Two quick glances calm you; one at the clock - seventeen minutes - and one at Sydney, who doesn’t look like she’s about to throw up and only has three tickets in front of her. You spare a final one for Fak in his position by the door, who you are positive would be grinning gleefully if he, or anyone else in the kitchen, knew what just went down in the walk-in.

“What do you need, Syd?” you ask, picking up the familiar back-and-forth of the kitchen again with some relief.

Carmy is quiet, focused, for the last half hour of service, but you can’t keep your mind clear. As soon as last orders are sent out, you slink to the back for a cigarette, hoping the smoke will at least wipe out your brain fog. It does the exact opposite. When you let me light your fuckin’ cigarette for you. You exhale, waving the smoke away as the words churn through your brain. I eat that shit up every time.

“Hey,” you hear, and you’re almost thankful to speak to the real him just to distract yourself from thinking about earlier.

“Hey.” You offer him a smoke, and he takes it, sinking onto the step next to you. The brush of his leg against yours is a lot more comforting than you expect it to be, relaxing a secretly worried part of you.

He takes a long drag, the kind of drag you only take when it’s been a shitshow of a day. “I just want to say I’m-”

“Sorry? It’s okay. It doesn’t have to happen again,” you finish for him. It hurts less that way.

“What? No.” He looks at you until you reluctantly meet his gaze. “Not for that. I’m not sorry about that.” He lets that hang there for a second, holds your eye. “But I’m sorry for losing my shit earlier. Nobody deserves to be around that, and…I want you to know I’m working on it. I wanna be…I wanna be good at this.” It’s a stilted apology as he thinks through every line, and it feels all the more sincere for it.

“That’s okay. I know. We all know.” You reach a hand out to touch his arm, and after a second, he lowers his head to rest on his knee, although his face is still turned towards you. You see his eyes flicker from your hand on his arm to your face.

“Although that wasn’t exactly how I expected that to go by the way,” he says after a moment.

You don’t try to pretend you don’t know what he’s referring to. “What, in the walk-in?”

“Oh, no, I’ve thought about it in the walk-in.” You ignore a pulse of feeling at his casual confession, at the idea that he’s thought about you. “I just didn’t imagine it so…heated, I guess.” Carmy raises his head again, traces a finger along your hand where it rests on his arm until you shiver. “Not that I didn’t enjoy it.”

You hesitate for a second before replying. Before extending the branch. “Well, I’m sure there’ll be other times, Chef.”

His eyes flick up to meet yours, and it’s your turn to watch his thoughts flickering there, watch as the fog clears, the idea forms, and he says, “Yeah. Next time.”

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wow guys thank you for reading i pray through the act of writing this that my jeremy allen white obsession will calm the fuck down, but i fear i've made it worse

if you'd like to keep up with me on ao3, you can find me here and please do send me any comments or feedback or prompt ideas, i would love to hear them <33 thank you!!

[smallestapplin]

Ingo, Emmet, and N (sep) where during a party the reader had too much to drink. When they wake up in the morning they have a massive hangover. It’s up to the boys to help nurse the hangover. Just basically them taking care of and cuddling their S/O

I am also dying, so nows the perfect time

Also mentions of alcohol consumption, so if that’s not your thing please scroll!

-

-

🖤Ingo🖤

He was already a few steps ahead of you. After helping you to bed the night before, he made sure to leave a water bottle and some migraine medicine on your night stand, before crawling into bed.

He awoke at his usually time, but decided to call out of work, letting him lay curled against your back.

Until you woke up that is.

“Mmm…..”

You rolled away from him, not even acknowledging him as you buried your face further into your pillow while you switch to lay on your stomach.

“Darling please, at least take a sip of some water.”

Ingo was met with another low groan.

It breaks his heart to hear you in pain, and there isn’t much he can do about it. Getting up from bed, he walks around your shared room, pinning the curtains closed to keep the sunlight out, making the room nice and dim.

Once he’s satisfied with his work, he walks to your side of the bed, crouching down next to you. Ingo rubs your back in slow soothing circles, trying to get you to look up from your face full of pillow.

“Darling-“

“Ingo…” your voice muffled from the bedding, “I love you, but please….s’too loud.”

He covers his mouth, eyes widening as he forgot how loud he is, no matter how hard he’s trying to be quiet.

“Sorry.” His own voice muffled by his hand.

You don’t hear him speak, but you can hear him opening the water bottle, and feel him nudging you. You finally relent, even in the dim room your eyes squint in pain.

Ingo tries not to laugh at you recoiling and groaning again, but he waits patiently for you to recover.

Once you do, you sit up, taking the pills from his hand and taking the bottle with a soft ‘thank you.’

He knows he’ll have to make breakfast soon, just so you’ll have something in your stomach, but what’s wrong with loving on you a little longer and letting you get use to being awake?

-

-

🤍Emmet🤍

After last night, Emmet didn’t think he’d ever get you to bed, you were all over the place and giggling the entire time. Which, he will admit he found adorable, but he knew you were tired, even if you didn’t want to go to bed yet.

Though the moment your head hit your pillow, you were out like a light.

So was he, once he changed into his pajamas. With it being his day off, it’s usually rare for him to wake up before you, but he understands.

You found to good tasting drinks and went all over those, he can’t blame you.

He pulls you closer, burying his face into your neck and just basking in your presence. It’s so rare he gets to be up before you, and just enjoy it.

He lays like that until Galvantula comes crawling over, clicking for food. Emmet mutely sighs before carefully detangling himself from you, and making his way to the kitchen to give all the Pokémon their (late) breakfast.

Silver eyes gaze at the pantry, trying to figure out what would be good for you to eat, but not too much as he didn’t want to upset your stomach.

“Salty crackers are verrry good for blood pressure, but maybe just some tasty broth? Hmm….”

He weighs his options, maybe even thinking a rice based dish would be good, as to fill you up but not overload your stomach.

But he’s attention is pulled from his thoughts when Archeops gets excited, squawking happily, until he sees you round the corner, groaning.

“Archie…baby…please, I hurt.” You pick up the happy fossil Pokémon, which makes him quiet down and nuzzle into your neck.

Emmet chuckles at the scene, but is quick to react. Before you know it you’re being handed some pain relievers and some water.

“I’ll make you coffee in a moment, yup! Go sit.” He gently kisses your temple, and ushering you to the living room.

Once you sit, however, you’re quickly wrapped up in a blanket by your loving boyfriend, surrounded by all your ‘movie night’ pillows, and made cozy.

With Archie cuddling into you.

And Galvantula joining on your head.

And Eelektross trying to squeeze in, and ends up laying on your legs.

And Durant hissing before joining to lay at your left side.

You’re being drowned in cuddles.

They got it from Emmet, but he takes this as a win! Now he can make you some coffee, without worrying about you getting up.

-

-

💚N💚

He didn’t drink the entire time, not being one for such parties as he stood by the wall, watching you bounce between him and chatting with your friends.

He was happy watching you enjoy yourself, but one drink turned into two, then three, then four and so on, as the sweet tasting drink hid just how much alcohol you were consuming.

He laughed to himself at how you passed out in bed, clinging to him and refusing to let him go. But he didn’t mind, simply putting his hat on the nightstand and curling around you.

In the morning it’s a different story, as N likes to wake up with the sun, it’s just his internal clock.

But you won’t let go.

Even in your sleep you have a grip on him, nuzzling your face into his chest, subconsciously hoping the pressure will lessen your pain. N can’t help but stay right in bed, not wanting to disturb your slumber.

Though he’d like to get up, he knows you aren’t going to feel well, and he wants to help that! N looks at the clock, realizing he’s been laying here for the last four hours after he woke up.

It’s not that early to you, but it’s late to him.

N slowly starts shuffling, carefully and slowly worming his way out of your grasp.

Every time you seem like you’re about to wake, he freezes, cooing at you and kissing the top of your head until you settle. Once he’s sure it’s safe he starts again, after thirty minutes he’s free! N pushes his hair out of his face, taking a deep breath before making his next moves.

He moves around your home silently, making no noise as he opens the cabinet for some pain relievers, after securing those he starts a pot of coffee before grabbing a water bottle and heading back towards your shared bedroom.

Stopping by the hallway closet to grab a decently weighted pillow case filled with rice.

Poking his head into the dark room, he sees you haven’t moved from your spot. N can’t stop the smile forming on his face, you’re too cute.

He’s entirely too smitten, even now as your eyes slowly flutter open.

He can’t help but softly chuckle at your little groan.

“Good morning, my love. How do you feel?”

Instead of an answer, you let out a pained whimper before covering your face with the blanket. He takes it as the room is still too bright for you.

“I know, but please, you need to take something for the pain.”

His low voice coaxes you from your shield of blankets.

Looking at his outstretched hands, seeing the pills and water bottle, you sigh caving and taking both.

He smiles, happy you’re taking it.

N leans over, kissing your forehead once you’ve placed the water bottle down.

“I have some coffee going, as caffeine can help with headaches, but I’ll also make you some breakfast, you need something in your stomach after all.”

“Okay..” you leans against him, nuzzling against his shoulder.

He hopes you can’t feel how fast his heart is beating.

“Thank you.” You mumble.

“Anything for you, my light.”

He’ll look into buying black out curtains, just in case this happens again or you get a migraine.

[fallingforunrealisticromance]

Casualties and Confessions - 11th doctor x fem! reader

Request: “Hi! Could you please write a fluffy/romantic fic (fem! Reader x 11th doctor) with prompts 22 and 29. Maybe something where the Doctor gets in trouble during one of their adventures because of his bravado and the reader tends to his injuries afterwards (the reader kisses his bruises and all this stuff) <3

Prompts: 22 “You look…” “Adorable? Cute? Sexy?” “I was thinking more along the lines of stupid, idiotic and dumb but sure” 29 “Could you please stop being stubborn for once in your life?”

Warnings: Swearing

Word count: 2911

*** = time skip

Requests Prompts

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“Doctor would you please just sit down?” You groaned as the time lord turned his back to you once again.

“I told you I’m fine, you don’t need to look after me. It’s just a few bruises.” The doctor replied, busying himself with the control panel.

You let out a groan of frustration as you ran your fingers through your hair. The doctor could be a real pain in the arse when he wanted to be.

“It’s not just a few bruises” You mimicked, walking over to him.

“You’re bleeding. Not only that, but you also smacked your head pretty hard, and I would really love it if you weren’t flying through the time vortex with a concussion so please for the last time – Sit. Down.” You crossed your arms over your chest, staring at him.

The doctor fidgeted under your gaze, unsure of where to look. “Honestly it’s not that big of a deal I’m fine-“

“Oh my god doctor! Could you please stop being stubborn for once in your life?” You yelled.

The doctor was slightly taken back by your tone. It was very rare that you raised your voice, even rarer for you to raise it at him.

You sighed “I just want to make sure you’re okay. Will you let me do that? Please?” You said, your tone softening.

The doctors stomach flipped at your words. He wasn’t used to people caring about him in the way you did. It was a foreign feeling; but he liked it. Without saying anything, he sat down and handed you back the first aid kit he’d taken from you earlier.

“Thank you” You smiled at him.

“I will say, as much as I understand why you said what you did, this is on you.” You chuckled, earning a grin from the doctor.

“Well he was wrong. And you know me, never have been a fan of archaeologists.”

************************************************************************

The doctor had taken you a planet not dissimilar to earth. He’d been rambling on about a specific museum exhibit that he’d been wanting to show you for days now yet every time he’d tried to take you, something else came up and caught his eye. But finally, here the two of you were strolling round an ancient building marvelling at all the artifacts on display.

“Doctor this place is just…wow” You said as your eyes gazed upon all the displays around you.

There were all sorts of alien relics from different points in history scattered around the room. Some things you recognised, like a rogue cyberman head that was being displayed in a glass case or one of the guns used by the Silurian race which was hanging on the wall. It was all so fascinating.

“Yes, yes this is all well and good but let’s get to the good bit.” The doctor said, grabbing your hand and pulling you forward.

You laughed at his child like glee as you ran with him.

“Okay, we’re here” The doctor said, coming to a very sudden stop which caused you to collide with his chest.

He placed his hands on your shoulders to steady you, causing a blush to creep onto your cheeks. You’d had feelings for the doctor for a while, I mean how could you not? When a funny, kind hearted, rather attractive man (well – alien) whisks you off and shows you all of time and space – it’d be hard not to fall for him. Normally you’d been pretty good at keeping it under wraps yet for some reason, recently anything he does gets you flustered within a matter of moments

“Close your eyes.” The doctors voice came, breaking you from your thoughts. You looked up at him, the glint of joy held in his eyes melting your heart.

“Okay but if you walk me into a wall, we’re falling out.” You said with a laugh.

“As if I would let that happen to you.” The doctor commented before standing behind you, his hands on your arms as he manoeuvred you forward.

You held your hands out cautiously in front of you but luckily you didn’t hit anything. After a few moments, the doctor stopped.

“Okay, you can open your eyes now.” He said excitedly.

You peeled your eyes open slowly, unsure of what to expect. Your jaw fell open as your eyes took in the sight before you. Next to you, the doctor watched in pure delight as you looked at the exhibit. “

Is this…I mean…It’s beautiful.” Your voice was quiet as you truly had no words to describe how blown away you were.

Before you stood the most gorgeous painting of a landscape, a sky full of vibrant orange, reds, yellows burning their way onto the canvas. Clouds scattered around the fire of the sky, with a burnt orange moon peering out from behind them. In the centre of the painting sat a magnificent dome, within which there were buildings, quite sizeable buildings – almost like skyscrapers. The dome reflected the light of the sun onto the sandy terrain below and if you looked close enough, it was as if you could actually see the light dancing around the floor.

“This was my home.” The doctor said, his gentle voice cutting through the silence. “Gallifrey.”

The pride was evident in his voice as he stared longingly at the painting.

“It’s exquisite doctor.” You replied, still in awe.

“I don’t know where this painting came from. But I am glad some memory of my planet lives on. It was a truly wonderous place.” He said softly.

You glanced over at him, his face fallen slightly. You knew how much he missed him home, his people. Even though he tried to hide it, the guilt consumed him. And it broke your heart.

“Thank you.” You said, never taking your eyes from him. He turned to face you; his brow furrowed in confusion.

“For what?”

“For bringing me here. For showing me your home. I know how painful it must be for you and I am glad you felt comfortable enough to share this with me. It means a lot.” You explained, smiling softly at him.

The doctor took a step closer to you, cupping your face in his hands.

“There is no one else I would rather share this with. If I could take you there in person I would do so in a heartbeat. You are the most important thing in my life, and I want you to see me. All of me.” His words were so soft, so genuine it made tears well in your eyes.

“I see you doctor. And I love you.” You said, the words slipping out before you had a chance to stop them.

The doctor faltered for a second, slightly surprised by your confession. You began to pull away, regretting your choice before the doctor gently pulled your face towards him and promptly crashing his lips to yours. You sighed happily as you melted into him, your arms wrapping around his neck. The kiss was short, but heartfelt. You pulled away grinning up at the doctor, who held you close.

“I love you too by the way.”

“Oh good” You chuckled.

The two of you stood there, just enjoying the others embrace.

“Yeah just tell Allie that she’s going to have to wait for that order, I have a lot more on my plate right now.” A loud voice echoed off the walls, causing you and the doctor to turn around.

The sound of footsteps were getting closer, as were the voices.

“Right so Alex if you could please get the Sontarans body armour boxed up and ready to ship for Monday, and Trevor if  you sort of the Zantian artifacts that would be- Oh hello.” A man, dressed in a full suit and tie appeared before the two of you, followed by two other men, who you assumed to be Alex and Trevor.

“Hello” The doctor replied awkwardly.

“I’m sorry but how on earth did you get in here? This museum isn’t open for another week.” The man said, clearly very agitated.

You rolled your eyes, looking up at the doctor. “Really? You couldn’t have brought us here a week later.”

“Well, I didn’t want it to be busy when we came” The doctor said fidgeting with his bow tie.

You chuckled at his behaviour before turning your attention back to the man in front of you.

“Will you two stop blabbering and tell me how you got in here? I have every right to get you locked up for this. Breaking and entering one of the most prestige buildings in the city and I-“

“I’ll stop you right there thank you. We are actually a part of an official alien artifacts organization, and we were sent here to make sure everything was in order for the grand opening.” The doctor said, flashing them his psychic paper.

The man’s face dropped as he read whatever credentials had just shown up.

“Oh. Oh, right yes of course. I do apologize. I hadn’t been made aware of any visits” The man fumbled through an apology.

“Yes well the uh big boss wanted to keep it a surprise just in case. You know how things are. Anyway, everything seems to be in order. We were just admiring the painting before heading off so goodbye.” The doctor said quickly before taking your hand in his and beginning to walk away.

You were still grinning over the fact the doctor had kissed you. Not only that, he’d told you he loved you. You felt giddy.

“Why would you ever be interested in such a dull painting? Come, let me show you some artifacts that are worth your time.” The man called after the pair of you.

The doctor stopped dead in his tracks. You felt your stomach drop. The doctors face fell.

“What did you just say?” He asked, his voice calm.

But not a relaxing calm, more sinister. More like the type you get before a storm.

“The painting, it’s hardly anything of interest.” The man repeated, clearly not sensing the rising anger in the time lord.

The doctor dropped your hand, marching over to the man.

“You know nothing of that painting. You know nothing of my planet so don’t you dare for one minute tell me that my home is hardly anything of interest.” The doctor didn’t shout. He didn’t need to. His words held enough rage and force in them to do more damage than shouting ever could.

You watched as his chest rose and fell, obviously in an attempt to calm himself down. There was very little that riled the doctor up this much. But you understood why this had caused such a reaction.

“Y-your planet? You mean to say you’re a-“

“Time lord. Yes. The last of them. So choose your words a little more carefully.” The doctor replied.

The mans face contorted in disgust.

“How dare you step foot in here. How dare you step foot onto our planet. Timelords are a disgrace. There extinction was a victory for the rest of us.” His words were dripping with malice as he eyed the doctor.

Your heart burned, anger rising in you as well. The doctor froze once again, his breathing increasing once more. You saw his fists clench as his body became rigid with fury. You began to walk over to him, knowing you needed to get him out of here. You didn’t know what he was going to do but you didn’t want to find out.

“Restrain him.” The man called before you could reach him. The two other men standing behind him were on the doctor in an instant, pinning the doctor against the wall.

“Get off of me. Get off.” The doctor shouted, thrashing in their arms.

“Doctor!” You yelled running towards him.

However before you could reach him, two other men appeared grabbing a hold of you as well. You cried out in pain as they pulled you harshly away from the doctor.

“LET HER GO. DO NOT TOUCH HER" He bellowed, struggling even harder against the men holding him.

“Your kind are nothing but a plague to the rest of the universe. I will be doing her a kindness by getting rid of you.” The man snarled.

“Don’t you fucking hurt him.” You yelled as the men began dragging you away.

Your eyes found the doctor, he looked just as terrified as you just before he was dragged off to another room and out of your eyesight. The further you got from the doctor, the more panicked you became. They were going to kill him. You couldn’t let that happen. The men brought you to the end of a corridor, where there stood a cage.

“You’re just going to lock me up and leave me here are you? Very original” You spat.

One of the men chuckled. “Of course not. We’re going to lock you up and sell you to the highest bidder. There are all sorts of different aliens coming to the opening event that have never seen a human before. I’m sure they will be most interested in you.” He said, chuckling along with his friend.

No. This is not happening. You were getting the doctor and you were getting out of here. With all the energy you could muster, you kicked one the men square between the legs – causing him to double over in pain before doing the same to the other one. With their grip on your arms now loosened, you were able to pull yourself free and began running as fast as you could back in the direction on the doctor. When you made it back to the room you had originally been in, there was no sign of him.

Your mind was racing. You knew you only had a short amount of time before the men recovered and came after you. Suddenly, you heard the doctor yell out in pain. Your heart felt as if it stopped beating as you heard his cries. You went to run towards the noise before looking around you. If you ran in there unarmed, you were as good as captured again. You looked around the room before your eyes landed on the Silurian gun you had noticed earlier. You didn’t have to use it, just threaten to. You grabbed it off the wall before running in the direction of the doctor.

Everything was a bit of a blur after that. When you found the doctor he was laying on the floor, breathing heavily. He had cuts all over his face, as well as nasty looking bruises. It hadn’t taken much to scare the men away, none of them clearly having been threatened with a gun before. You helped the doctor stand before rushing back to the safety of the TARDIS.

************************************************************************

“There you are. All patched up.” You said with a smile, taking a step back to admire your work.

Due to the cuts the doctor had obtained, his face was lightly decorated with plasters which you have to admit was a rather funny sight.

“How do I look?” The doctor asked, standing up.

“You look…”

“Adorable? Cute Sexy?”

“I was thinking more along the lines of stupid, idiotic and dumb but sure” You teased, laughing at the frown on his face.

“Well I guess that’s the last time I let my girlfriend take care of me then.” He mumbled to himself as he walked back to the console.

Your stomach fluttered at his words. Whether he meant for you to hear them or not you weren’t sure, but you had.

“Girlfriend?” You commented, following him.

His eyes widened as you stood in front of him. He opened his mouth to say something before changing his mind and closing it again.

“Did you just call me your girlfriend?” You asked, a smirk pulling at your lips.

“I, well, technically yes. I just assumed – because of earlier- isn’t that usually what people do?” He said, stumbling over his words.

You beamed up at him, taking his face gently in your hands. “Yes, it is. Albeit people usually get asked rather than told, but as long as I’m yours I really don’t care.”

The doctors cheeks flushed a light shade of pink at your words, causing your heart to race. He was so beautiful.

“Now as your girlfriend, I demand that you keep this pretty face of yours safe. As much fun as I had looking after you, I’d like my boyfriend to remain in one piece.”

“You think my face is…pretty?” The doctor said, still very flustered.

“Of course I do. Even if its been slightly battered with all these bruises.” You ran your thumb gently across each one before leaning up and placing a kiss on them.

The doctor fidgeted slightly as you kissed his face, making you chuckle against him.

You pulled back and smiled at him. “There we are, all better.”

He grinned down at you, nothing but love reflecting back at you.

“I will forever be grateful that the universe gave me the gift of meeting you.” The doctor said, holding you close to him.

“I love you too.” You replied, sighing happily as you rested your head against his chest.

You could hear his two hearts beating in a steady rhythm as he gently ran his fingers through your hair. This was definitely something you could get used to. And you did.

[lady-october]

Pairing : Oli Sykes x Female Assistant Genre : Romance, Smut (18+ Only) Previous Chapters : Available on Ao3

Story Content : Smut, Drama, Choking, Power dynamics, Romance, Rough sex, Sadism/Masochism, Dom/Sub, Mentions of addiction & self harm, Degradation, Praise kink, Exhibitionism, Orgasm denial, Breath play, Dirty talk.

Summary :

“Don’t you see what a dangerous game you’re playing? Why did you have to look so fucking delicious tonight, I couldn’t stop undressing you in my mind, thinking of all the twisted things I want to do to you.” She had only worked on the touring team for three weeks, but her mind had been hijacked by dirty thoughts of a man she barely even talked to. Sure, he was very attractive, but were there other reasons she was so uncontrollably drawn to him? This is a filthy story of pain, self discovery, and love.

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Chapter 23: Sabotaged myself again

Chapter title is lyrics from "1x1"

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“My girlfriend at the time killed herself, slashed her wrists one night.”

Oli’s words were flooding my head, filtering into my every thought and nearly drowning me, as I watched him perform from deep within the shadows.

Mat had requested that I’d stand further out so he could see me. I considered it when he asked, wanted to attempt it even, but the idea went flying straight out the window when Oli decided that mere seconds before going on stage was somehow the perfect time to dump a boatload of extremely heavy and bewildering information on me. 

So, instead I’d fallen back further into the corner than usual, to a spot where I could barely see the stage anymore, finding it hard to look at the man who was making my head spin out of control. Now he was only visible when he was in the very front – which was a lot more often than I remembered.

“I’ve dreamt about you for a month now, most nights you torture me, try to kill me.”

Why on earth did he choose now of all times to tell me things he had every opportunity to tell me last night? 

Or this morning if he hadn’t decided to mysteriously skip out on the rare opportunity to spend more alone time together – something that isn’t the easiest to come by when on tour.

And why is this his reaction when I tell him I’m spending time with Mat tonight, after how hard he’s been trying to convince me to do exactly that? I just couldn’t make sense of it all, and I was going insane trying.

“I don’t open up to people a lot, and I know you don’t either.”

As I watched him writhe on the stage floor, I noticed myself biting my nails – an anxious habit I’ve worked very hard to rid myself of. But the way he moved with such desperation and passion, the way his features would periodically melt in similar ways to when he was buried deep inside me would always drive me wild with filthy thoughts, long before I knew him intimately.

Not to mention his aggressive commands for the crowd, doing nothing but eliciting images from the sexual aggression he so exquisitely aimed at me during our time together. 

My knees felt weak, wanting him more than ever, made even worse by the ocean of anxiety I was swimming in – the anxiety that had me feel tenser than an overtightened guitar string, ready to snap.

I ripped my fingers out of my mouth for a second time, catching myself once again with my nails between my teeth.

He was just too good at shutting my brain up; too good of a distraction from all the turmoil inside me at any given moment. 

“You’re very special to me too.”

Which is very ironic, cause he appeared to be equally good at forcing me to face all those things I wanted to run from.

My mouth fell open in desire as I watched sweat run down his temple.

I felt powerless, needing him to just throw me over his shoulder again as soon as he stepped off the stage – to fuck me senseless in some random cleaning closet.

But at the same time I wanted so badly to just talk to him, find out what the hell was going on; find out if he was okay, feeling incredibly worried about him.

Wanting to show him that he was more than just my painkiller; more than just sex.

After the last song finished up I watched the lights die down, expecting him to come running down the stage steps any moment now.

Shaking myself, I took several deep breaths in order to brace myself to confront him, feeling determined to get to the bottom of this – despite my soaked underwear.

As soon as I saw him I started moving. He appeared to be looking around as well while I all-too confidently made a beeline for him.

Was he looking for me too?

He must have been, as the moment he spotted me he started taking long strides in my direction, appearing as determined as I felt.

Finally I could ask him the million questions I so desperately needed answered, voice all my concerns, and break free from this horrible, anxiety-induced, pressure chamber I was locked up in.

But when we came face to face we both just stared at each other.

Like a gasping fish, my mouth opened and shut repeatedly as I struggled to find the right words. And he seemed to be in the same predicament as he silently mirrored me. 

My frustration kept building, and building, until he suddenly mumbled, “I’m gonna go shower.”

Dumbfounded, I simply breathed, “Okay,” before he pushed past me and disappeared, leaving me to stew further in my angst.

Leaving me to wish he’d taken me with him, as the shower sounds like an excellent place to throw me up against the wall.

I wanted to collapse to the floor, to cry out of frustration, to rip my hair out from disappointment over not having voiced any of my thoughts when I finally got the chance.

Instead I just walked back to lean against the wall I’d been hugging all night, before Liam appeared.

“The lads won’t be too long, maybe half hour, then we can set off. You ready to go?” He was smiling from ear to ear with excitement, clearly ecstatic to get a night’s worth of fun.

The last thing I wanted to do was drag him down with my dreadful mood, so I did my best to swallow it and pretend everything was alright.

“Yeah, I got ready before the show.” I sounded cheerful as I pushed myself off the wall. 

Which, thankfully, had been convincing enough to keep the joyous spark in his eye, “Perfect, let's bring the van to the back exit.”

Time moved painfully slow as we waited in the van, while I fought myself to not freak out about the evening. Specifically about not knowing how to approach Oli, or knowing how he will handle watching me sit with Mat. Dread filled me at every thought. I tried so hard to ignore them but they were relentlessly, mercilessly torturing me.

But once I saw them exit the venue my attention was thankfully ripped away from my spiralling mental state and scattered thoughts.

They were both laughing, dressed in all black and looking handsome as ever as they walked towards the van. For a moment Oli threw his arm around Mat – such a cheerful and happy gesture. The perfect image of two friends who were about to hit the town and have a good time, with the same energy between them that I’d observed continuously the past month, seemingly completely untouched by last night, when Mat watched Oli carry me to his room.

Or this morning, when Oli saw how much Mat had turned me on in the elevator.

How could they seem so perfectly normal – so perfectly okay – considering everything that was going on? 

Meanwhile I was tearing myself apart inside, fighting tooth and nail to not have a breakdown.

When they stepped into the van my eyes met Oli’s in the rearview mirror as he shuffled into one of the seats. 

He looked relaxed, happy even.

Which was confusing.

The door slammed shut and the scent of alcohol filling the air quickly followed; they had already started drinking, which could possibly explain the sudden light mood.

None of which made me feel any better about the night to come.

The drive was short, and we were immediately ushered to the VIP section with the rest of the opening bands once we got there. 

The club was made up of two floors; the first of which was quite open, absolutely packed with people dancing, and mingling in the bar area.

The second floor looked out over the large gathering of people downstairs, and seemed to be exclusively VIP seating. While also quite crowded, it was much smaller, with more intimate seating arrangements consisting of clusters of sofas in different designs, split up by random intricate sculptures and artwork. 

With such a random assortment of interior designs gathered in one place, it threatened to make it feel messy. Yet the coloured lightning which painted everything in hues of blues and purples, made the choices seem oddly cohesive, almost charming, in an over the top, borderline tacky way.

As everyone filtered into the VIP section, passing the railing looking out over the first floor, I decided to fall back a bit to see what the others would do. 

Mat immediately fell back with me, offering his arm for me to take as we walked.

I felt a blush creep in as I took it against my better judgement, watching Oli ahead of us.

“You want a drink, love?” He said close to my ear so I’d hear him over the loud music and chatter all around us.

“I’m driving tonight, so no drinks for me I’m afraid.”

“Ah, I’ll try to not make a complete fool of myself then.”

The smile he gave me was seductive, confident, all of which made me feel like I was walking into a lion's den as I watched Oli take a seat on a plush sofa against the wall, next to some of the opening band members. His gaze was transfixed on me as Mat led us to a crushed velvet loveseat a couple of tables over, but still in Oli’s line of sight.

I wondered if Mat did this intentionally, to ‘get back’ at Oli for last night. And considering how competitive they’d been with each other on the bus yesterday, I wouldn’t be surprised.

An arm appeared behind me on the backrest as Mat got comfortable. He leaned in close again to talk, and I watched as Oli squirmed in his seat as Mat’s lips hovered next to my ear.

“I wanted to apologise for being so.. rushed in the elevator earlier. We just didn’t have a lot of time and, well, I really wanted to kiss you.”

A shiver ran up my spine, and I couldn’t tell if it was from his proximity, his breath tickling my ear, or because of what he said – or more importantly, how he’d said it.

Especially since we both knew he wanted to do a lot more than just kiss me this morning.

His soft smile was laced with a hunger that did nothing but confirm my thoughts.

My eyes darted to Oli again before I responded, and to my surprise he wasn’t paying us any mind. Instead he’d leaned forward, staring intensely at his phone.

Trying my best to not let Oli distract me, I returned my focus to the man next to me, “While I appreciate it, there really is nothing to apologise for.”

Dipping his head, his smile turned more bashful.

Part of me wanted to tell him that I’d hoped he’d kiss me, that I also had wanted it to happen, but instead I settled for my own apology, “Sorry for not standing further out during the show.”

He shook his head, “No I shouldn’t have asked, I know you prefer to keep to the corners. I just wanted to see you some more – you’re stunning, and not just tonight. You drive me half mad most days.”

My cheeks immediately heated up further. 

While the energy bouncing between us ever since I walked in on him mid-orgasm had continuously been quite charged, something clearly shifted after last night. It was like he’d turned the dial on the sexual tension to max.

Again I wondered if it was for competitive reasons, and even more unease filled me.

I couldn’t help it, my vision wandered back to Oli for a moment, who was still completely enthralled by the phone in his hands.

“Did you need to go talk to him?” Mat asked out of nowhere.

He must have noticed my treacherous eyes continuously looking at his friend.

“No, not yet.”

He took a long look at me, at my hands playing nervously with the hem of my skirt in my lap.

“Do you want us to move, love?” It didn’t take more than two seconds of him observing my facial expressions shift from his question, before he stood up and offered me his hand, “C’mon, let’s find somewhere else to sit, yeah?”

I hadn’t noticed how tense I’d been until Oli was no longer visible, causing me to just about melt into the booth he’d lead us to, with a view of a floor to ceiling water feature, seemingly made entirely of out glass, distorting everything behind it.

Once we got comfortable I noticed how he had left a bit of space between us, and how his arm was no longer draped behind me.

“The very last thing I want is to make you uncomfortable, Alice.”

I don’t know if it was the frustration from everything that was going on with Oli, or from not understanding Mat’s intentions with me, but I found myself annoyed at his statement.

“Can I ask you something?” I asked, trying to keep the frustration out of my voice. 

But I had clearly failed, as there was a small but noticeable shift in his body, revealing tension in him as well, “Of course, ask away.”

“Yesterday on our date, you were very adamant about just enjoying our time together, letting things develop naturally. But after last night it feels like you’re just trying to out-do Oli, to compete for me like some prize. Am I wrong?”

Mat’s face shifted, a seriousness taking hold of it that spread into his posture as he leaned in closer, his arm suddenly appearing behind me again, “You’re wrong.”

I felt myself growing increasingly confused as he took a short pause to consider his words. When he finally spoke the seductiveness was back, mingling with the seriousness, “There’s something I’ve been a bit worried about when it comes to our compatibility,” his gaze turned hungrier while he took another short pause, the tension inside me building as I still didn’t know where this was going, “let’s put it like this; I’ve never once before wished I was Oli. But last night when he spanked you, I really wished I was him.”

Lust exploded in me, the implications of his statement taking me by complete surprise.

Does he want to hurt me too?

I shut my mouth, noticing how my lips had parted, how my breathing had sped up.

His large, rough hand appeared on my bare thigh, the simple touch sending sparks flying throughout my whole body, highlighting how desperate I felt, reminding me that I’d been edged and denied my climax last night.

“Do you like it a bit rough, love?” His words came smooth like butter.

I felt torn between throwing myself at him and running away in sheer panic.

Could Mat offer me the same relief only Oli had been able to?

Feeling stunned, overwhelmed and flustered, I simply nodded my response to him, not sure how to articulate that I very much enjoy the rougher side of sex.

“I’d hoped as much, because I’m not sure I can do without it.”

The brain scrambling touch disappeared from my thigh, leaving it cold, jarring me back to reality.

“It’s not that I’m trying to win you, or compete with him. I’m just… eager, after having learned something about you that made me want you infinitely more.” He shifted in his seat, “I can tone it down though. Would you like that?”

I didn’t want that, I wanted his hand back on my thigh immediately. Preferably to travel higher.

Like a car colliding with a concrete wall at 100mph, my lust riddled thoughts came to a crashing halt as a sobering realisation hit.

The knowledge that Mat might be able to scratch the same itch as Oli, had acted like the missing link in the chain of my torturous scattered thoughts, and suddenly something quite disturbing became crystal clear.

You see, Mat was incredibly tempting to me. Not because of how charming, comforting or understanding he was; not because of all the sexual delights he was offering me on a silver platter – no, Oli could offer me all those same things. That's not what made Mat so very intriguing, not what set him apart.

In fact, the reason I wanted to throw myself at the man in front of me so badly didn’t have anything to do with his wonderful qualities. It had to do with the one thing Oli couldn’t offer me; 

I don’t have feelings for Mat.

I look at Mat and I don’t see commitment. I don't see the fear of attachment, or the hardship of having to face my inner demons.

Instead I see a way to sabotage a potential relationship with Oli.

Bile pushed up my throat as all the awful puzzle pieces fell into place.

Mat, who had been waiting for me to respond suddenly grew worried, “Alice, are you alright? You’re looking rather pale.”

I wasn’t surprised I looked pale, I felt as if I was about to pass out.

“I need to go.” I heard myself say distantly as I attempted to stand up, but Mat’s hand on my arm stopped me.

“Wait, Alice, what’s wrong? Did I do something to upset you?”

I couldn’t tell if he was worried or sad anymore, maybe both.

“N-no, I’m sorry. You haven’t done anything w-wrong at all.” My words sounded so far away, and I wondered if I actually was about to faint.

He kept his hand on my arm as he watched me, contemplating, “I want to let you go but we’re in a strange city, and you don’t seem alright. Please, just sit with me till you feel better.”

He removed his hand from me in order to stop a passing waiter, “Can we get some water, please?”

The drink came almost immediately, and I assumed that’s one of the perks of being in the VIP section. 

We sat in silence for a while as I sipped my water, slowly returning to myself.

Slowly realising exactly what I need to do next.

“You feeling any better?” The look he gave me was so thoughtful, so sweet, making me feel like a truly horrible person.

“Yes, a fair bit actually, thank you.”

He gave me a warm smile, “Do you still want to go? Cause it’s completely fine if you do.”

I looked at him, finding it incredibly hard to say what I needed to say, “Mat…”

But apparently it was all over my face already, “You’re turning me down, aren’t you?”

I was. It was the only right thing to do, for everyone involved.

“I’m so sorry.”

The sadness in his eyes said everything the smile that appeared on his lips couldn’t, “Hey, don’t worry about it. I’ll be fine, I promise.”

My head dipped out of shame.

“Was I too forward? Sorry for asking, I guess I’m just a bit confused.” He scratched his head, a nervous gesture that gave him a nearly boyish quality for a moment.

“N-no, you’ve been amazing actually…” I felt even worse as I was about to reveal the reason for my rejection, especially right on the heels of having accused him of being competitive, “It’s Oli.”

“Ah,” understanding caused his features to relax, softening into a more sincere looking smile, “Did you catch some feelings by any chance?”

“Maybe.” I admitted.

My apologetic eyes held his sombre ones for a moment before he spoke.

“Go talk to him.”

I opened my mouth, attempting to find the words to both thank him for being so incredibly kind to me around every turn, and at the same time just wanting to repeatedly apologise for everything – for leading him on, for getting his hopes up.

But he didn’t let me get a word out.

“I’ll be fine, really. You don’t have to worry.”

It sank in that there was nothing I could say that wouldn’t just make the situation worse, so I simply took a deep breath and pushed myself out of my seat.

“Hey Alice,”

Pausing, I looked down to see intense eyes staring up at me.

“I still don’t want things to be awkward between us.”

“Me neither.” I told him with a smile, before disappearing to find Oli.

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[chdarling]

I can count on one hand when snape has lost his cool in canon . in poa when harry saved sirius , in OOTP when sirius vs snape , when harry saw his memories . In hbp when harry called him a coward . And that's about it . While majority of time he is composed , confident and insults people with coolness and sass . The list is too long . Like he has coolly sassed Bellatrix , peter , sirius , harry , Ron , hermione , james , lockhart etc .

I love and deeply appreciate your talent but imo snape's behaviour is reversed in TLE , he is just too angry here to think coherently let alone insult or attempt at sarcasm .

I mean Remus has more sarcasm and wit than he has in canon and i have no complain there as i am a sucker for wity banter and humor , but it feels like injustice to Snape's personality to me .

I’m sorry you feel that way! I emphatically (and amicably) disagree.

I think for me it comes down to the fact that I am not trying to replicate the characters exactly as they were in the books. TLE is a prequel, and thus for all the characters — but especially Snape because he actually survives — this is a story of becoming. They’re not meant to be perfectly reflected versions of who they were in the '90s, but rather versions of themselves that could feasibly grow into the characters we see in canon.

The Snape in canon is a 35ish year old man who has survived a war and had years and years to master his emotions and become a top-notch spy who, as you say, sasses the likes of Bellatrix, not to mention lies to Voldemort's face. The Snape I’m writing in TLE is a 17-year-old boy who has done none of that yet but is raw and bitter and wrathful enough to be convinced joining a fascist hate group is a really swell idea.

To me, the moments you point out when Snape loses his cool in canon are the entire point of his characterization, not an occasional aberration, and these scenes were crucial to me when building his character. Rage is crucial to his character. It’s notable, I think, that almost all of these moments are related to the Marauders/Lily in some way. It’s the moment the mask slips and the wounded teenager comes out.

A few examples, just for fun (emphasis mine).

(This got a little long, but I was distracting myself during some severe weather that was stressing me, so I hope you’ll take this in the spirit of fun discussion, and not anything else. 🙂)

From POA, after Sirius escapes:

“THEY HELPED HIM ESCAPE, I KNOW IT!” Snape howled, pointing at Harry and Hermione. His face was twisted; spit was flying from his mouth. “Calm down, man!” Fudge barked. “You’re talking nonsense!” “YOU DON’T KNOW POTTER!” shrieked Snape. “HE DID IT, I KNOW HE DID IT—!”

“Fellow seems quite unbalanced,” said Fudge, staring after him. “I’d watch out for him if I were you, Dumbledore.” “Oh, he’s not unbalanced,” said Dumbledore quietly. “He’s just suffered a severe disappointment.”

From OOTP after Harry sees his worst memory:

“So,” said Snape, gripping Harry’s arm so tightly Harry’s hand was starting to feel numb. “So…been enjoying yourself, Potter?” “N-no…” said Harry, trying to free his arm. It was scary: Snape’s lips were shaking, his face was white, his teeth were bared. “Amusing man, your father, wasn’t he?” Said Snape, shaking Harry so hard that his glasses slipped down his nose. “I—didn’t—“ Snape threw Harry from him with all his might. Harry fell hard on to the dungeon floor.

From Half-Blood Prince, after Harry calls him a coward:

“DON’T—” screamed Snape, and his face was suddenly demented, inhuman, as though he was in as much pain as the yelping, howling dog stuck in the burning house behind them— “CALL ME COWARD!”

These are all such extreme reactions that, rare as they might be, they definitely suggest an undercurrent of deep rage and, I might add, a pattern of losing control when provoked with certain memories.

And then, of course, there are the flashbacks in which we actually DO get glimpses of young Snape:

“Tuney!” said Lily, surprise and welcome in her voice, but Snape had jumped to his feet. “Who’s spying now?” he shouted. What d’you want?”

(Interesting, I think, that his first instinct is to shout. Petunia hasn't said anything yet.)

There was a crack: A branch over Petunia’s head had fallen. Lily screamed: The branch caught Petunia on the shoulder, and she staggered backward and burst into tears. “Tuney!” But Petunia was running away. Lily rounded on Snape. “Did you make that happen?” “No.” He looked both defiant and scared. “You did!” She was backing away from him. “You did! You hurt her!” “No — no I didn’t!” But the lie did not convince Lily: After one last burning look, she ran from the little thicket, off after her sister, and Snape looked miserable and confused…

Snape’s whole face contorted and he spluttered, “Saved? Saved? You think he was playing the hero? He was saving his neck and his friends’ too! You’re not going to — I won’t let you —“ “Let me? Let me?” Lily’s bright green eyes were slits. Snape backtracked at once. “I didn’t mean — I just won’t want to see you made a fool of — He fancies you, James Potter fancies you!” The words seemed wrenched from him against his will. “And he’s not…everyone thinks…big Quidditch hero—“ Snape’s bitterness and dislike were rendering him incoherent, and Lily’s eyebrows were traveling farther and farther up her forehead.

He opened his mouth, but closed it without speaking. “I can’t pretend anymore. You’ve chosen your way, I’ve chosen mine.” “No—listen, I didn’t mean—“ “—to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?” He struggled on the verge of speech, but with a contemptuous look she turned and climbed back through the portrait hole…

This to me does not read as a composed, confident boy. This is (in my opinion) an extremely angry, troubled boy who is buffeted around by his emotions, who hasn’t yet learned to articulate them fully, let alone control them. Learning to conquer these emotions and be the cool, calm, and collected double-agent-man we see in canon is a big part of his journey, but it's certainly not something he's mastered yet at 17.

.......But, at the end of the day, this is just a fanfic and everyone has different interpretations of these characters. Which is fine and fun! TLE Snape has always been somewhat polarizing, but I'm pretty set in my interpretation of him. I'm looking forward to exploring more of his journey as he grows into book Snape. He's just not there yet. :)

[avocado-writing]

1. I love your writing it’s amazing!!! Ilyyy/p ❤️

2. Are your short sfw requests still open? If so are you okay with writing one for Ladybug? One where he and the reader (code name Cherry/Cherry Bomb) are both in the train during the time when it crashes and in a moment of panic they both just hug each other and hope they survive it (before they both fall together into that giant momomon plushie thing like in the movie) afterwards the reader is like: “how the fuck did we survive this?” Ladybug: “just lucky ig”

🥺 ilu2!

I don't really write for Ladybug (or give reader codenames, actually) so I kept this one short! Hope it hits the spot!

Rated M for Sexual References (thank u vvalliu for the gif!)

Well, with his fucking luck, you would end up in this situation.

It’s his first job back so they paired you up together. Wanted someone to keep an eye on him because he’s been acting differently, apparently. You drew the short straw and were stuck with babysitting duty. 

“Come on, Maria. Don’t make me do it,” you’d whined down the phone. Your handler had given you a gentle tut.

“It’s one job. Be pleased it’s not with Carver.”

Admittedly, you are pleased with that. Carver is a dick. But Ladybug - at least, that’s what they’re calling him nowadays - didn’t turn out to be much better. With a stupid laid-back attitude and an even stupider hat, you’d found yourself grinding your teeth at his greeting. 

“Hey! Cherry Bomb, I’ve not seen you for ages!”

“Just CB is fine.”

“Why’d you need a nickname… when you already have a nickname?” he asked, eyebrows furrowing under those ridiculous glasses. 

“It’s a codename, not a nickname. Can we just get on the train, please?”

The old Ladybug might have bickered back and, secretly, you would have enjoyed it. But this new one just shrugs and acquiesces. 

Snatch and grab. 

Should have been easy. Of course it wasn’t. Assassins running up and down the train like no man’s business. Too many of you to be coincidental, all the while Ladybug’s bad luck dragging you deeper into the dirt. You’re sort of annoyed at him but know, realistically, that luck doesn’t exist. Doesn’t make it any easier to fight off a snake when it’s trying to bite you in the goddamn eyeball, though. 

But through it all you can’t deny you’re… looking.

He’s attractive, that’s undeniable. Always has been, even back in the old days before he got that mature suaveness. Those arms, that hair. And he’s also kind of… nice. Which is a rare thing in this business. And you feel yourself soften to his new unwitting charm, smiling more than you frown, despite the circumstances.

Then, well, the train sort of explodes. 

Which, yeah, why wouldn’t it? Why wouldn’t a train with Ladybug on it explode? And as you’re there, flying through the debris, you see him open his arms to you, as if in slow-motion. 

You let yourself fall into him, feel him pull you flush to his body, scrunch your eyes shut so hard they hurt.

In his arms? It’s not a bad way to go.

Then… something soft. It still hurts, of course, but the softness is a surprise. And when you finally get the sense to look around you’re still very much alive. In the middle of a crash site and in pain, but alive. Ladybug is on top of you, having landed with one of his knees between your legs and his body resting on yours. You might have pushed him off of you if adrenaline wasn’t coursing through your veins.

His hair flops over his face, tickling your own. He’s close. Very close.

“How did we get outta that one?” he mutters.

“Just lucky, I guess,” you breathe back, and drag him down to kiss you. He tastes like smoke and blood and fuck, if it isn’t just perfect. You press your hips up into him and watch his eyebrows skyrocket.

A gun is fired into the air behind you. The two of you look over, and spot the White Death, clinging to life, abhorrent fury on his face at the sight of the two of you choosing now to kiss.

“Can you give me like, two minutes, bro? I’ve been waiting for this forever.”

And you burst into laughter, and despite everything, he kisses you again.

[wonwussy]

Hongjoong A-Z

this is all smut shit. please GO AWAY TURN AROUND ESCAPE MINORS because mdni. this is an a-z i did a while ago, and it's being reposted here. i do not claim to be an expert on any of these topics or hongjoong. this is just silly stuff. enjoy.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Hongjoong will definitely try to take care of you. Sure, he’ll be tired, but he knows the importance of cleaning you up. Will it be perfect if he does it? No. But isn’t it the thought that counts?

Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partners) 

He really enjoys your back. He loves kissing it, going for back hugs, running his fingers along your spine. As for his favorite body part on himself, his mouth. It is his instrument, essentially. He loves being able to press his lips to your skin. Plus, he loves it every time you compliment his smile or mouth.

Cum (Anything to do with cum)

If he can help it, which he always can’t, he’s going to cum on you. He especially likes seeing his cum on your back. It’s not always the cleanest, but it makes the cleanup easier. He does like seeing his cum on you, so he’s always going to try to stop himself from cumming in you.

Dirty Secret 

He wants to record your moans and whines. Not to use for anything, though the thought of slipping them into a song really gets him going, but for his own personal pleasure. He’s just not sure if you’d be down for that, knowing it’s such an intimate thing between the two of you.

Experience (How experienced are they?)

He’s experienced, but he’s not an expert. He’s spent much more time in the studio and at work than he has in a bed, but he’s definitely done the horizontal tango a few times. And he’ll definitely be eager to learn anything new with you.

Favorite position

He likes it when you’re on all fours. He is able to see and touch your back, press kisses to it, and enjoy it. He also likes being able to give your ass a squeeze or spank you when you’re both just going hard together.

Goofy (Are they more serious during sex or humorous?)

He tends to take sex more seriously, but he’ll have his silly moments as well. That’s what keeps sex fun and interesting, after all. But, overall, it’s serious. He wants to be focused on you and your pleasure, rather than laughs and ridiculousness.

Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet  match the drapes, etc.)

Hongjoong isn’t going to be clean shaven, but he’s going to keep himself trimmed. With the hair on his head turning all different shades of the rainbow, including the rainbow itself, of course there’s going to be a rare time where everything matches, but that doesn’t matter. He knows how to keep himself groomed and neat, so it’s definitely not wild or out of control.

Intimacy (How romantic are they during sex?)

He prefers to be intimate. Not necessarily romantic, as those two do not have to go hand in hand, but more intimate. Romance will of course come in to play at times, but he’s going to prefer the intimacy. If he’s behind you, he’s going to have his hands all over back and ass. Facing you, he’s going to hold you close while you two fuck. He just likes being close to you during sex, so he’s going to try and make that happen any way he can.

Jack off (Masturbation headcanon) 

There’s going to be times where he wants and needs you, that he’s not going to be able to wait. Most of the time, it’ll be during some long session at his studio, exchanging texts with you about how needy you both are. He’ll ask for pictures, wanting to see you and how much you want him. He’ll use them as he wraps his hand around himself and jacks off to the image of you, wishing it was you instead of his own hand.

Kink (s)

He likes spanking you. Mostly when you two are really going at it, and having a bit of a rougher session, you can expect a hand to your ass. He’s going to make it sting, but he’s going to make the pain worth it.

Location (Favorite places to have sex)

His studio. It’s not first choice of location, which is different, but it will be his favorite. It’s where he’s comfortable, and does the fact that someone could hear you while walking by his door turn him on? Just a little bit. 

Motivation (What turns them on?)

There’s something about seeing you relaxed that just gets him going. Whether you’re reading, watching something, or even napping. He likes seeing you all rested and cozy. Bonus points if you’re wearing his clothes.

NO (Turns offs) 

Anything that’s going to involve bodily fluids. Not his thing. So, best to keep those out of it.

Oral (Preference to giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He likes receiving as much as he enjoys giving. He will use his tongue for good, find what makes you feel good, and use it to his advantage. Whenever you go down on him, just make sure you don’t ignore his balls. He does enjoy when you play with those as your mouth works over his cock.

Pace (Are they fast, rough, slow, sensual, etc.?)

He has like… two speeds. Fast and hard, or it’s going to be slow and sensual and serious. He’s probably going to take the more slow and intimate pace, wanting to enjoy it and be able to be close with you. But when he’s ready to let loose and just go hard… it is going to be a bit rougher and definitely a quicker pace. 

Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex)

He’s not going to say no to a quickie. Sometimes, that’s all he has time for. So, he’s definitely not against them. Of course, he does prefer some longer sack sessions, but won’t hesitate to whip it out and go for a quick round.

Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks?)

Hongjoong is 100% down to experiment with you. He doesn’t want things to get boring between you two, so trying new things will be fun. However, that will be done when he knows you two won’t be interrupted. The riskiest this man will be is having sex in his studio. The door will be locked, of course. Can’t take too big of a risk.

Stamina (How many rounds can they go? How long can they last?)

He may seem he has endless energy or stamina at times, but that’s just not true. He will be able to go a couple of rounds, but will need a little rest in between. Once you’ve both caught your breath though, be ready for more.

Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He doesn’t own toys, but he wouldn’t be opposed to using them if they were available. He just doesn’t think they’re needed, as much as they’d be a little bonus fun for you both.

Unfair (How much do they like to tease?)

He is not going to tease you too much. Sometimes it’s fun, and he’ll definitely make it worth it for you, but teasing isn’t really for him.

Volume (How loud are they? What kind of sounds do they make?)

Hongjoong is not a loud person in bed. There may be some quiet grunts or moans here or there, but overall, he’s not going to be very vocal. He much prefers to hear you when you two are having sex. Don’t be afraid to be loud for him.

Wild Card (Random headcanon) 

Hongjoong spins in his chair to ask you a question, only stopping when he sees you asleep on the couch. He can’t help but smile at the sight of you, all curled up with a blanket half covering your legs and the hood of his hoodie pulled up over your face. He runs a hand through his hair and rolls his chair closer, reaching over to push the hood back from your forehead. “Hey, sweetheart,” he whispers, leaning over to press a light kiss to your forehead.

You stir gently, eyes blinking open to look at Hongjoong. “What time is it?”

“Just after one a.m. Sorry, we should have left earlier. I wanted to, but lost track of time.”

You reach for him and tug him towards you, smiling sleepily as he nearly falls out of his chair onto you. “Let’s stay. I’m comfy.” You pause as you study his face, which is now inches from yours, and lick your lips. “Get comfy with me,” you whisper.

He draws in a deep breath and nods, before pressing his lips to yours in a tender kiss.

X-Ray (What’s going on in those pants?)

He’s not the biggest dick in the land, but the man is proud of what he has. He certainly gets the job done. He’s got more girth than length, and certainly knows how to use it to his advantage. And your pleasure.

Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

This is really going to depend on the day. Somedays, that man will have no sex drive. He’s too tired, too overworked, and just plain wants to rest. But those days that his drive is higher? He’s going to make sure he works you over at least a couple of times, before you two even call it a day. Better take full advantage of those days.

Zzz (How quickly do they fall asleep after sex?)

Let’s be honest, the man could and would fall asleep so fast after sex. Just holding you, being your big spoon, while he nuzzles your back or neck. He works hard, and sex is a great way for him to unwind and relax. So, he’s either going to get you cleaned up and then stay in bed with you, or he’s going to pass right out and leave you to clean up yourself. But it’s okay, because he’s just so cute curled up in the mess of blankets.

[ciaossu-imagines]

From one of the smut days of the event, I used the below prompt for some of the teachers from Welcome to Demon School, Iruma-kun! It was such a fun ask and I enjoyed writing these, so I hope you lovely constant readers enjoy them as well. Where things didn't get too smutty, I didn't really feel the need to hide anything under a cut and hope that doesn't bother anyone.

SEND [LOSER] FOR THE CHARACTER’S REACTION TO YOU PLAYING THE WINNING HAND IN STRIP POKER

KALEGO

It was actually really damn hard to get Kalego to play strip poker in the first place. It’s not a game he would naturally be okay with playing – he thinks the whole thing is really stupid, something he makes clear at every single step of the game. You really only get him to play by striking blows against his ego and pride. While he took a couple blows to his ego, took a couple comments about how scared he must be about losing and having to show how inadequate he was, when the comments started getting more pointed and meanly stated, you know you’ve hooked him.

He’s a little scary and you’re really rather intimidated during the first few rounds. It’s why you kind of flub the first few hands. At least, that’s what you allow him to think. You want him to think he’s getting into your head, that he’s got you scared. You’re down to just your undergarments before you start your actual plan.

In truth, you’re kind of used to hustling poker games. It’s really one of your specialties. You know you have this in the bag, but you manage to keep the smirk  off your face as you start winning hand after hand. It’s not long before Kalego is caught up to you in terms of states of undress.

You let him win a hand, take off your bra, get him a little distracted. It helps you win a little easier.

You throw down the winning hand, cocky smirk all over your face, teasing him as you demand he strip.

But it’s Kalego. Did you really expect things to be that easy?

Kalego’s surprisingly honorable. He’d never welsh on a bet, right? As much as it pains him, he’d strip and accept the loss and just harbor an insane grudge, right?

Thing you forgot about Kalego though…his crazy students and the sheer amount of trouble that seems to follow him around. Which is why, one moment, he’s there, and the next moment, he’s gone.

Meanwhile, Flufflego the familiar is really wishing Iruma had summoned him a little while back, when he’d been a bit more dressed. This is one time he hopes he gets to stay in familiar form for quite a while.

RAIM

Raim is actually pretty easy to talk into playing the game. To her, it’s all good fun, especially as it’s a game she’s known to play really well. Most of the time, the more clothes she loses, the worse at the game her opponent becomes, distracted by the ample flesh exposed in front of their eyes and the sexiness displayed by her.

It’s extremely rare for anyone to beat her, which is why it was so important for your competitive nature to do exactly that. You’d challenged her before and lost, re-challenged her and lost, challenged her again believing the third time was the charm and lost.

But this time, this time you knew you would win. You were feeling lucky and you’d felt you’d learned all kinds of lessons in the previous matches, where she’d beaten you and taken your money every time.

Knowing just how much this meant to you, finding it cute, and honestly not minding a little extra pocket money (there was that gorgeous skirt she’d seen in one of the shops that she wouldn’t mind having), Raim readily agreed to the match.

Raim definitely doesn’t make the game easy on you. While not a very competitive person herself, just enjoying such things mostly for fun, Raim does have enough ego and pride to prevent her from taking it easy on anyone. If she’s going to do something, she’s going to do it to the best of her ability. She’s not going to just roll over and let you win – she is a teacher, after all, and no student learns by their teacher doing that.

So she uses her succubus skills and she teases you throughout the game, trying to shake you up, get you off your game. She flirts, tells you that if you wanted to see her naked so badly, all you ever needed to do was ask, plays footsy with you under the table, letting her foot trail up your thigh at one point until you almost jump out of your chair.

You’re doing every single thing you can think of, focusing so hard on the game, trying every trick you have learned to defeat her. You’d just about figured you were going to lose this one too though, just about abandoned hope, when you picked up just the card you needed.

You throw your hand down triumphantly, grinning ear to ear. You finally beat Raim and to say you’re thrilled is an understatement.

Raim takes it all in really good stride though. She’s honestly really happy for you because it’s obvious how much this meant to you. And the thought of stripping off all her clothes, of being naked, just really isn’t a bother to the succubus. She’d have zero issue with walking around naked all the time, if she was to tell the truth. It’s nothing to her.

She does have to give it her best try though. After stripping completely naked, making sure that there’s a little extra swing in her hips, that her tone is honied, oozing with provocation, she lays herself in your lap, congratulating you while asking if you’re quite sure you want the money from winning or if there’s not an alternate prize she can convince you to take…after all, that is her nail money for the week and she’s more upset about losing that than her clothes.

It takes every single ounce of determination in you because god damn, she is truly talented at what she does and god damn, do you want to take her up on that offer, but you reach behind her and take the money.

She holds a grudge more over that than anything else, but the grudge gets settled at the next game, where she makes sure to invite more of the teachers.

ROBIN

You’d been amusing yourself with a deck of cards one day when Robin stopped by your room. You’d asked him if he wanted to stay and play cards with you. Of course, he accepts happily. In Robin’s eyes, you’re the best of the best – you always find things to compliment him on, you seem to value his opinion and take him seriously as a teacher, you put up with his boundless enthusiasm and energy better than most do. He’s never turning down an opportunity to spend time with you. He’d have to be nuts to do that, is the only thing he can think.

It’s when you’re deciding what card game to play together that Robin shocks you. You make a joke off the top of your head about how the two of you could always play a round of strip poker, laughing to make it obvious that you’re just kidding around with him. Robin is instantly curious. The boy doesn’t seem to know at all what strip poker is. He admits to only having played regular poker once or twice and doesn’t get, at least at first, what strip poker is. How’s it different from regular poker?

You can’t do much other than just sit there, leaning back in your chair when he asks that. Your face is just slack, mouth a little open in disbelief and ‘huh?’ness. He asked such a stupid question, such an obvious question, so innocently and earnestly and you have to admit it was  cute, though you really find yourself stuck as to how best to answer it.

You try to ‘no answer’ route, where you just sit back up towards the table, changing the conversation and hoping Robin will roll with that.

He doesn’t.

Eventually, just to get him to be quiet and to stop asking, you explain the nature of the game and all the rules. Robin’s eyes keep getting bigger and bigger as you explain everything and he’s determined and decided in the fact that the two of you are playing this game.

He does let you know, though, that if you feel too uncomfortable taking off you clothes after he wins, you can always chicken out at some point and he won’t hold it against you for doing so. Not one bit.

His little act of kindness wasn’t taken so well by you though. You got a little offended by his assumption that he’d win; it kicked your competitiveness up just a little bit.

Okay, a lot. As in, competitive enough to cheat the last couple hands. In your defense, Robin was killing that game, though he was claiming it was all down to beginner’s luck.

Some slight of hand though and you start catching up. Soon it���s not just you in your underwear and socks, but Robin too.

You’re careful not to arouse his suspicions. You let yourself lose your socks before you have a good hand, then your bra, before finally beating Robin, laying down the perfect hand for your last turn.

Robin takes it like a champ. He looks crestfallen at first, a little upset he hadn’t won, but he’s also a fantastic sport. He congratulates you on winning and tells you how good you did. He even asks if you’ll play with him some more sometime, teach him some tricks and tips so that he can beat you someday.

Once you promise to do so, you stare at him, waiting to see if he’d call chicken or not. He notices you staring, sees you watching him, and the moment just hovers there. He starts to blush and is red as a lobster by the time his hands go to the waistband of his boxers.

He’s careful about pulling them down. One of his hands slips under the waistband of the boxer and you realize, once he starts pulling them down with his free hand, it’s to cup his penis and testicles, to try to hide himself from you like a man would at the doctor’s.

It might have worked. It honestly probably would have worked…if he had been entirely soft. However, Robin’s sporting the start of a chubby, about at half-mast, and though he’s trying admirably, it’s just a little too much for his single hand to hide from your eyes.

For such a thin, tiny man, he was surprisingly endowed.

You have a real hard time keeping from staring until he calls you out on it.

Even when you think you have him licked, Robin seems to be able to turn the tables on you.

You’re not quite sure if you like that or not.

[hoppipolla]

Underwater: a Jae Won rambling

There’s a scene in the trailer in which Jae Won says he’s tired of wearing a mask while being with other people.

As @heesulovebot pointed out in another post, we seldom see Jae Won without it. The only time we saw him without it was when Ji Hyun came to see him after noticing that he had left in a hurry to smoke. In that scene, Jae Won avoids looking directly at Ji Hyun and it’s only when he’s about to leave that he finally meets his eyes. He only does so because Ji Hyun stood in front of him and made him look at him. Ji Hyun’s decision to tell his name right this instant is a way to tell Jae Won that he genuinely wants to get to know him no matter which side of him he decides to present himself with, no matter if he stays true or lie to himself. By telling his name, Ji Hyun strived to keep Jae Won grounded because he noticed how weary he was.

Jae Won uses gentle touches to keep Ji Hyun grounded and to make sure he feels at ease, whereas Ji Hyun’s way of caring feels very much like him: he gives his full attention. Ji Hyun’s eyes speak volumes and he has this very steady gaze when looking at Jae Won which seems to anchor him when his thoughts are overwhelming.

Jae Won’s mask is highly emphasised by the use of shallow focus. Soon after the opening scene, Jae Won is seen from behind but the camera keeps the fish tank in focus instead of him. In the same vein, in the beginning of episode 2, Jae Won is not out-of-focus but he is seen from behind the fish tank.

The use of out-of-focus shots implies how Jae Won is someone hard to grasp. Again, as @heesulovebot accurately pointed out, he goes with the flow and to do so he doesn’t need to be himself. The camera doesn’t show us a clear image of his face because we, as viewers, have yet to see it. The fact that the first images we see of him are from behind is also quite relevant and in keeping with the fact that he rarely shows his true self.  

The fish tank is also an object I wanted to comment on. In episode 1, when Jae Won and his “friends” are arguing, the music and the background noises fade out and nothing can be heard except for their own voices. It’s only when Jae Won is pushed onto the ground by Tae Hyung that the music comes back again along with the familiar background noises of a restaurant during an evening shift. The abrupt interruption of the music playing is reminiscent of when you’re under water and that all noise is muffled. That’s exactly how Jae Won feels. Whenever people envy him, tell him how “worry-free” he is, he starts dissociating in an effort to control his feelings. By doing so, he forces himself to brush off these words which he knows are not true. But these misconceptions still hurt. They hurt him but he cannot say anything back because he is aware of the image he has created for himself. He didn’t choose to create this image for himself but people kept on assuming the kind of person he was (because of his family situation, his physical appearance, his rigour etc.) and so he eventually let his true self hide behind this shallow mask so he could appear and act exactly like how people saw him. People just didn’t see him, no matter what he did.

Jae Won is stuck underwater: his true self is almost impossible to grasp for it is as changing as the shimmer of the light on the water.

Looking at him through the fish tank is like seeing a distorted image (version) of himself. The directors precisely chose this angle to highlight the fact that Jae Won does wear a mask whenever he is surrounded with other people. The scene in which Ji Hyun tells him his name is all the more touching because at that moment, his mask was cracking and through the cracks his pain and emptiness could be seen. He would have never allowed himself to look so vulnerable if Ji Hyun had been someone else. But no one was there except for Ji Hyun. That freshman he knows nothing about but around whom he feels strangely at ease.