#and it’s affecting the blorbo time as well and i hate it so much

[archduke-enver-gortash]

[vdelta]

hey i couldn't sleep so i decided to make one of those ask game things if anyone wants to send in numbers and/or invite their followers to send them numbers instead

do you carry around a bag when you're out and about? if so, what's usually in it?

describe your perfect first date.

guilty pleasure?

which fictional character archetype do you think fits you best?

what do you think others would consider your most distinguishable physical feature(s)?

what role do you play in your group of friends?

when was the last time you said something you regretted?

do you typically remember your dreams if you have them?

who is your biggest inspiration?

any unusual fears?

favorite myth?

when was the last time you were truly angry?

best compliment you've ever received?

which color of the sky is your favorite?

favorite font?

is there anyone you’re not biologically related to that you consider "family"?

what's your go-to funny story when people ask you to tell one?

what's your most controversial opinion?

what's been keeping you up at night lately?

do you have any ocs? if yes, talk about them a little.

do you believe in extraterrestrial life?

how old were you when you joined the internet?

what's popular with the people around you that you can't seem to get behind?

what would you consider part of your personal aesthetic?

do you collect anything?

would you enjoy being famous?

how liberally do you use the block button when browsing social media? does it differ depending on the site?

if you could travel back to any one point in time, where and why?

how many different names do you go by across the internet?

what’s your type?

does your favorite movie/game/book from when you were young still hold up in quality?

were you raised religious?

have you ever thought about changing your name?

any allergies?

what would your warning label say if you had one?

what's the most expensive thing you've ever spent money on?

any oddities when it comes to you personal belief system?

what is your love language?

do you still know your best friend from grade school?

if you could dye your hair any color, what would you pick?

has anyone ever told you they like your shoelaces in public? if yes, how did you respond?

how did you meet your best friend(s)?

do you play any instruments?

do you have any blorbos?

do you believe in fate?

do you follow any stereotypes of groups you're a part of?

how well-decorated is your bedroom?

you get to give a one-sentence note to yourself from a decade ago. what does it say?

if you're trying to make friends online, what's your typical approach for reaching out?

what do you consider most important in a romantic/platonic partner?

if you had the ability to change one aspect of yourself, what would it be?

what the best anon hate you've ever received?

favorite emoji?

what's the boldest thing you've ever done?

do you prefer having a few close friends or a lot of not-so-close ones?

nosiest question you've ever been asked?

favorite movie?

how many languages do you speak?

how much of yourself do you wear on your sleeve?

what's your go-to plan to destress?

do you believe in/follow any superstitions?

what do you think you’re most known for as a person?

how did you come up with your url?

what's the best thing you can cook?

do you have a Signature Outfit™?

what’s been the biggest hurdle you’ve faced in your life so far?

what's your favorite obscure piece of media?

what's the most recent entry in your notes app?

favorite song?

when it comes to affection/intimacy, do you prefer to stick to one person or are you more open about it?

did you have an imaginary friend as a kid?

which is more important when it comes to clothing, comfort or style?

what would you consider the most enjoyable accent to listen to?

favorite time of year?

how would you describe your favorite person?

do you like the height you are now, or do you wish you were taller/shorter?

what's your plan for the apocalypse? (don't pretend you haven't thought about it a little bit.)

favorite food?

who do you look to for guidance in times of need?

which you can spend a day each in five different places across the globe. where do you travel?

favorite memory?

favorite meal?

favorite pick-up line, if you're into that sort of thing?

favorite word?

are you on good terms with your family?

if you were given $1mil on the basis that you had to put towards something arbitrary and self-indulgent, what would you spend it on?

where’s "home"?

how fucked is your sleep schedule?

if you could keep any animal as a pet, what would you choose?

weirdest habit?

what's a common misconception people have about you?

who's in your dream blunt rotation?

favorite game?

if you could have any superpower besides the typical choices (flight, shapeshifting, elemental powers, etc.), what would you pick?

have you ever written any poetry? if so, what was it about?

favorite quote?

what's your lucky number(s)?

favorite color?

is there anything you would consider yourself an expert at?

do you believe in something beyond death?

[chaoticarson16]

main six - 🟡🔴🏡 🧵 🗣

um i didn’t know if you wanted us to pick one for your character headcanon ask game, so i chose multiple just in case. also didn’t know who to choose lol

Multiple is perfectly fine cause it lets me rant about more than one of my blorbos :D (Also sorry I forgot to check my inbox!!)

🟡 - Happy

California: When he’s happy he bounces on the balls of his feet while flapping his hands and even though he won’t admit it New York finds this adorable (Me? Projecting? Nooooo)

New York: He barely shows it but he really enjoys having the rest of the northeast + California around and he likes making them little gifts and anonymously leaving them in front of their door

Louisiana: He both enjoys and gives the best hugs. He knows what kind of hugs the rest of the states like and loves just randomly appearing and hugging them

Florida: He can actually bake really well and loves to make snacks for the South. He has everyone’s favorite desserts, snacks, and allergies memorized.

Texas: Even though he’d deny it, he really likes cuddling. Whether it be cause someone was cold, sad, or just wanted to. He’s also like the perfect pillow cause he’s one of the biggest states and there’s enough room for quite a few people.

Gov: He really loves snakes so any time he sees one his eyes do the cat thing and he has to keep himself from ranting about that specific species

🔴 - Angsty/Sad

California: He genuinely doesn’t know why most states hate him. He understands some is politics but he doesn’t know why the others do. It affects him so much he’s changed himself so much to get them to like him that very few know what he’s actually like

New York: He keeps up his rude demeanor because he doesn’t wanna get too close to people in fear they’ll leave. He’s terrified of losing people he loves so he chooses to stay away from people. But it eats him up inside that he doesn’t really have anyone so he’s stuck in this cycle of wanting friends but not wanting to lose them

Louisiana: During the Civil War he was so torn between doing what his government wanted and doing what his people wanted. In the end he was forced to help his government through threat of harm. He still has heavy survivors guilt and is tormented by the spirits of his lost people. (I headcanon him as African American and that he can see spirits)

Florida: He puts on a mask that he’s happy all the time but it makes him sad knowing that most of the states are scared of him or hate him. He likes causing chaos cause it’s how his people are but he hates how the other states pull away from him when he does it.

Texas: He likes to act like he’s big and tough and that nothing affects him but it does. Every event in his state, big or small, affects him. The insults some states will throw out. He takes those to heart and truly believes them. He acts like he’s confident but he’s insecure and severely doubts he’ll ever be good enough (Damn that was rougher than I expected it to sound)

Gov: When he first came around as Continental Congress, he had so much work that most nights he didn’t sleep. PA tried to help him but it was just too much. He did that so often that it’s now become a habit. He will work until his body physically can not move anymore, sometimes skipping meals to get it all done

🏡 - Home

California: (I saw this from someone else and I stole it because it was such a good headcanon) When not at the statehouse he lives in a hobbit type house that connects into the surrounding mountain. It’s pretty roomy and he somehow has wifi in there.

New York: Usually at the statehouse cause his room there is bigger than the room in his apartment. He has a small apartment with enough space just for him.

Louisiana: He shares a house with Florida when not at the statehouse (literally married) it’s a decent sized one story house. They share one room and the others are used for shenanigans. They live away from most people so their yard is until they get to another house.

Florida: Usually the statehouse or the house he shares with Loui

Texas: He’s usually not at the statehouse. He has a ranch and a lot of land with it. He’s usually gone taking care of his horse Janie and his dog Buck. The ranch consists of his main house, a shed, and a barn with a stable. Think of a stereotypical barn then make it a light brown

Gov: This man almost never leaves his office. When he does he lives at the statehouse. He can not afford to leave them alone in the same house

🧵 - Hobbies

California: Surfing, skateboarding, hiking, basically most out door activities plus drawing, cooking, playing drums or guitar, and singing

New York: This man absolutely loves fashion. He also likes drawing, cooking and “gardening”

Louisiana: Cooking, (literally all of them can cook I’m so sorry) singing, playing instruments, dancing, and writing

Florida: Baking, dancing, singing, playing guitar and drums, causing chaos, swimming, and scaring the states with how much he actually knows

Texas: Baking, actual gardening, crochet, trick riding, shooting targets, and playing with his dog

Gov: Writing, drawing, hiking or going on walks, biking

🗣️ - Social

California: He’s pretty friendly with most people he meets and likes talking with people on social media platforms (he definitely has tumblr)

New York: He rarely talks to other people and actively avoids it

Louisiana: He treats everyone he meets like family and everyone loves him

Florida: He likes talking to random strangers about the things that interest them but when it comes to the states he actively tries to find a way to make it into a joke

Texas: He has a bit of social anxiety but it’s mostly in crowds where it’s a lot harder to escape. He enjoys talking to the other states about sports and stuff but he also likes talking to New Jersey about gardening

Gov: This man is so awkward, it’s great. The only social interaction he’s had is with politicians and the states. He can be professional no problem but the moment it comes to casual conversation he blanks. He mainly lets the person he’s talking to rant to him about things. The states actually go to him and rant about any and everything cause they know he won’t tell them to shut up

[hurt-over-comfort]

Story & OC introduction!

Hello! So, after far too long of a wait, I have finished this OC introduction post! 

In the future I’ll think about how to organize this better, maybe as a google docs or maybe as a separate website, but for now this is as good as I can make it. 

It might be quite long given the sheer amount of OC’s introduced so I kept the descriptions to a minimum - I’d love to expand on that later once I decide what’s the best way to do it. Also, all asks about characters and the stories are super welcome! I love talking about my blorbos.

This post focuses on introducing one of my two main stories and their casts, but all of these characters exist through different AUs. I will share more details about the second story soon, I haven't finished writing descriptions for that one yet : (

“JOINT VENTURE” AKA COLLEGE AU

My main squeeze, the story I think about most often and what I consider the ‘baseline’ for the character’s personalities. It's definitely a whumpy story, but I doesn't focus exclusively on whump.

In short, it’s a story of the destructive relationship between two college students and how their decision to partner up and make some cash haunts them. A story about addiction, desperation, control and loss of it, of all encompassing love and betrayal. It’s doomed, it’s tragic, it’s abusive, it’s gay!!! Content warnings for the story: sadism&masochism, torture, noncon.

I’d love to elaborate, but to not make this post any longer than it needs to be, here are the featured characters!

1. ALBERT

My main guy, nr one little guy inside my head. I love my Oc’s equally, except for Albert, whom I love the most. (I also hate him the most, so it equalizes.)

Albert is a rich kid fuck boy who everyone only pretends to like. He’s a rather bright chem-engineering student who spends most of his time getting drunk, high and having lots of party sex. It seems like life handed him a golden ticket - good looks, filthy rich parents, great education - and maybe that’s why he started acting out, because it all was going too well. And now it’s harder to pretend that everything is great, which makes him try even harder, become faker.

The only person who truly sees through him is Cedric and maybe that’s why he hates him so much. Only sometimes, he doesn’t hate him - sometimes he feels a wild yearning for any shred of Cedric’s validation or affection, and he buries that feeling so deeply that he’s not aware it’s even happening. He prefers denial - denial that everything is amazing, that he didn’t fuck up his life entirely, that Cedric is no one to him. It works until it doesn’t and for these times even the usual vices don’t stop him from spiraling. He hates it, or maybe he doesn’t, it’s hard to tell - He’s so dangerously masochistic that he might just be in love with being miserable.

2. CEDRIC

(OC of the lovely @whmp)

Albert’s roommate and the absolute bane of his existence. The person who hates him the most and conversely the only one that can put up with his antics. He’s spent so much time trying and failing to get away from Albert that now he just accepts him as any other inevitability of life. Vaguely aware of Albert’s feelings toward him and even less aware of his own feelings for him. 

A major control freak about everything in his life, from academics to personal relationships. Will claim he just want to be left alone but will get lonely if that actually happens. He’s aloof and quiet with a tendency to be outright mean and sarcastic when in a bad mood, sees people mostly as noisy distractions. Annoyingly aware of his own intelligence, definitely thinks he’s better than other people. In between studying and dealing with Albert he has a little business on the side - synthesizing drugs. 

3. NICKY

Cedric’s sweet boyfriend, a chronically online liberal arts major and Albert’s number one secret hater. He’s not the smartest, but he makes it up with his enthusiasm and a general aura of positivity. Will make you a delicious meal if asked, but will also go on twitter and argue for hours about the stupidest, most inconsequential things. In between watching anime and romanticizing every aspect of his life he loves to game with Cedric’s weirdo friend, Leo. 

4. LEO

(Also OC of @whmp)

An absolute social reject shut-in loser who spends most of his days browsing very questionable websites and forums. Doesn’t mind people, but doesn’t like them either - he’s so apathetic it’s hard to make him care about anything, really. That includes being likable, so he never tries to cover up his nature (he sees any relationship as a transaction anyway). Not hard to get along with if you can stand him, but you probably shouldn’t try because he’s not a good person. Not so secretly sadistic - maybe he loves it so much because violence and abuse is one of the only things that can make him feel anything. Awkward most of the time, especially for those incredibly rare times where he feels any attachment to a person. Stay away at all cost.

5. DARCY 

A wicked demon in the vague shape of a man (metaphorically). There is little humanity left in him, or maybe there was none there to begin with. Bastard son of a prominent cartel leader with high ambitions how to run things and 0 actual leadership power. He’s the clean up guy, tasked with disappearing the people that the cartel doesn’t need anymore. And before he buries them in the desert somewhere, why shouldn’t he have some fun with them? They can have a lovely evening or two and when whatever is left of them is dropped into a shallow grave Darcy will have already moved on. 

6. CECILE 

Albert’s accomplished older sister. They talk sometimes, and she worries about him a lot, but their relationship is rather strained. Her life is a constant juggle between her demanding job and family life, and maybe if she keeps it up she’ll have no time to think about the life she could have had. About the people she had lost. 

7. WILLOW

Willow used to be a best friend of Cecile back when they were younger. They’d sneak off at night and go onto the grassy fields, setting up a picnic to enjoy it just as the sun rises. They’d talk for hours while laying on their back and staring at the sky, hands so close their fingers could touch if any of them would be a little braver. They were close and wanted to be so, so much closer, but you can’t get everything you want in life, right?

---

That's it for now! Very excited to be sharing all of this with you! The picrew used is the amazing sushicore!

Here is also a little sneak peek at some of the characters of my second story while I work on writing descriptions for them!

[dorianbrightmusic]

i saw a couple years back that someone hc'ed Leon from pokemon SWSH as dyspraxic, and i remember adopting that hc and running with it. i have no clue where the original post is now, but i'll just state my version of the headcanon: he's very dyspraxic, might have some other conditions going on but i can't be bothered to be consistent in deciding whether he has inattentive ADHD or not, but basically, he pretty much doesn't have an internal map. or any coordination. people tend to be surprised that his sense of direction is that bad, but nowhere near as surprised as they are by his incredible lack of coordination. he cannot go five minutes without spilling something. he's broken his hand several times from accidentally swinging it into doors. he lives on caffeine and gifted kid burnout. he is blorbo from my shows with incredible insomnia and a stunning absence of motor skills. he struggles to distinguish left and right. he has no sense of physics. his only way of working down a familiar route is muscle memory – turning the wrong way gets him totally stranded. he hates knowing he was always the kid who got lost. he has a guilty pleasure in getting lost and wandering. erring anyway. he doesn't get to err in any aspect of life anyway. he's always lost somehow. not that he's allowed to admit it.

Hop also has dyspraxia, but it's much milder, so Hop could get through life undiagnosed without any major trouble. On the other hand, Hop's ADHD is considerably more affecting than Leon's, so they kinda traded conditions. Leon's coordination is generally better than his spatial memory (read as: both are not great), while Hop's spatial memory is fairly okay, but his coordination isn't fabulous.

nobody knows how Leon's capable of battling so well with an incredibly rudimentary understanding of physics and extremely poor mental rotation skills. he claims he battles with his gut, working on feeling, impulse, drive—some kind of spark that crashes through him, telling him what's to come, where to go. basically, he works wholly on instinct and closeness to his pokemon. in this regard, he's a foil to blue, who has an excellent understanding of physics, but horrific coordination, and thus also an instinctual approach to battle.

[sparkbugs]

Thinking bout Chip Jrwi

This has spiraled from ramblings to character analysis to whatever it has turned into. I rewatched episodes too JUST to make sure I had the right information and plot points in mind cause I want to make sure I’m not making a fool of myself in front of all of Jrwiblr.. ANYWAYS! This is a lengthy read. Total words being 1318 under the cut. Yeah, I’d say the hyperfixation is hyperfixating for sure. Chip Jrwi you are my blorbo atm and you mean everything to me <3

Do you guys think that before they went to the Black Sea, before they left Canella, before they left the town of Zero that Chip looked at his crew, his friends, and his family and wondered if he should stop? Yeah, he lost his old family years ago, and he wanted to do everything in his power to bring them back, to do something about it that his 9-year-old self couldn’t. But do you ever stop and think that maybe he’s realized that he has a family now, a new one and that he’s afraid to lose it to the Black Sea as well? But they’ve come so far now, they found Drey and Finn, hell Finn had been with them the entire time!! They’ve come so far now, and they’re expecting him to want to keep going, to find Arlin, and maybe even some of the other crew they lost as well. I think about it a lot, maybe too much at this point.

Back in the Feywild when Chip could’ve reached out to anyone, he could’ve talked with Arlin again, but he didn’t. He didn’t because he saw something in his nightmares in Liquidis while being cured of his curse. He saw Arlin, covered and surrounded by this black ichor, and he talked to him again. He saw Arlin, the man who took him in when he had nowhere to go, and he had looked at him with so much rage and hatred.. and he had attacked Chip. This would honestly terrify me if I were in Chip’s place. The person who showed me all the care in the world suddenly turned and attacked me? And saying that this has happened before? In a nightmare situation that felt so real, Chip knew it was real… I’d be terrified to find him if he thinks I’m gonna kill him, he’d be fighting for his life too, I’m sure. The Black Sea has affected Arlin too, I don’t think they’ll be able to convince him that they aren’t going to kill him unless somehow Drey and Finn can get through to him, but it seems highly unlikely. 

I think if Chip feels this way at all, maybe not like all I’ve written exactly, I think he feels immensely guilty. He doesn’t want Arlin to be trapped in the hole in the sea, but he’s also immensely terrified as to what he’s going to find once he gets to him. He doesn’t want the person he’s looked up to for so long, the person he’s risked his and his friends' lives for, to hate him. But I also feel that somewhere in his heart (or lack of one), Chip doesn’t blame Arlin for hating him, cause he’s starting to hate himself for getting his new family dragged down into this hole in the sea as well.

Yes, they all chose to come with him to the Black Sea, but if anything happens to them, Chip will forever blame himself for it. Hell, he lost his heart and he has no one other than himself to blame. Jay almost lost her leg (did she? They haven’t made it clear if she did) and I feel that Chip blames himself for that too. Yes, they helped save everyone on the island, but Gods is Chip scared he’s going to lose his family again. Being on this ocean reminds him of when he was just a scared little kid, but now he can do something about it. He’s trying but he’s still so fucking scared. 

Speaking of his heart- he’s trying to hold onto himself. He’s an undead now, and by meta the mechanics of it are roughhhhh. I rambled a bit on another post about one of my characters named Amani, an opal Tiefling whom Chip is starting to remind me of- not exactly but they both have had their hearts taken!! Doing the checks to see if he loses a part of himself terrifies me each and every time and I know there’s going to be more, we can only hope the dice are in Bizly’s favor as we do not know when Chip will be able to get his heart back. It could be months from now, years maybe. I dread the session they head back to Zero and Chip is still undead. I dread Chip reuniting with Ollie. I don’t think Chip wants Ollie to see him that way, he can hide it with the bandana as much as he wants, but the stench of rotten flesh will give it away. Ollie told him to come back alive! Chip wasn’t able to keep that promise. It kills me to think that Chip dies at 19. Yeah he wasn’t a kid, but he was still so young- yeah he might come back once getting his heart but how much of his humanity will he have lost? How much life experience would he have gained in this undead state? He hasn’t even had the time to grieve the loss of himself with everything that's been going on, and I am really hoping with the next episode of Riptide we get to see some of his thoughts on being undead. Yes, he’s made jokes about it! But I feel he still hasn’t fully processed it all and once he finally does it's going to be PAINFUL. 

He’s grown so much from this journey with Jay and Gillion, he was using them at the start, to get back his family. I mean I could be wrong here, but it certainly feels like it at the start of everything anyway. Along the way though, he started opening up a bit and he realized that while sailing and learning about the whereabouts of his family he’s lost, he’s made a new family. And it’s become precious to him. It shows how he has grown during the fights he had with Gillion, the first fight they had dealing with Chip lying and pranking him, wounding Gill’s pride. They resolved it after communicating and getting to know each other better. The second fight was initiated by Chip himself because he knew he was in the wrong and that he had hurt his friend by keeping the fact that Edyn was working with the Navy a secret. He remembered how much lying had hurt Gill, and as much as he didn’t want to tell him at the time, he wanted to protect Gillion from the truth of his sister potentially doing something dangerous behind his and his friends' backs. There hadn’t been much time in between Gillion escaping the pearl and the time that he found out about Edyn, and Chip had tried not to think about it but those damned bracelets (WHICH I WISH THEY WOULD USE MORE?? WHERE DID THEY GO-) outed him on those thoughts. He stayed up ALL NIGHT just to build the arena, just to show Gillion he was sorry and that he needed to fix it, he wanted to fix things between them both. He goes on and on about how Gillion’s actions helped him change for the better, about how he cares about him, and that he never meant to hurt him. Of course, this ends in them battling again, them starting the fight and Jay ending it like the girlboss she is, but this battle was never out of malice or anger, it is light-hearted and fun, and it shows that they’ve all grown stronger together. 

I love Chip Jrwi, I am so happy that he got a second third chance at a family- He deserves it and the world. I totally will be coming back to this at some point but this is all I have to say for now! Feel free to reply/reblog to this with ur thoughts, or even send me an ask bout it cause I would love to continue talking about this boy!

[andypantsx3]

Ok Andy this had been on my mind for a while now and I really want to hear your thoughts on this!

So we all know that Shouto is pure husband material, the kinda guy you'd be proud to introduce to your parents! But yk all those years of abuse and trauma (our poor bby ;-;) would definitely take a big toll on anyone, right?! So I was reminiscing about the earlier episodes where he is all closed off and cold to everyone, and that really got me thinking... what would dating Shouto REALLY be like.

How much of his behavior in a relationship really be affected by his past? Obviously nobody is perfect and even though our princess man comes close what do you think his shortcomings are as a person/partner? What do you think his toxic traits would be? What could be some of his bad habits? How would he react during an argument? I used to hc that he would be really calm and passive but then I remembered this scene

Ofc us being his partner would change things, but he DOES lash out at times. The police officer hadn't yelled at them, he was just explaining what they did was wrong according to the law (which could be unfair but thats his job) and he straight up called him a slur 💀 (well yk in this society where so many ppl have animal related quirks it probably is a slur? Idk tho). He was sorry later but still. I was so shocked when I internalized the fact that Shouto does infact have quite a temper, even when he's not rude/ aggressive about it. It doesn't make him bad or anything because 9/10 times it's well warranted and I am just a pussy who doesn't handle other's anger well but yk...

WHO WOULD EXPECT A TEMPER FROM THIS LIL FACE?!

I am really wanna take his character and study him under a microscope and I am really interested to see your pov on this. Also don't feel inclined to agree with anything I said if you dont, I asked you precisely cuz I wanted a different way of looking at him from mine.

Btw none of this is to paint him as a bad person or partner because of a few shortcomings or his trauma. We all know he's too precious for that and that would be hypocritical of me especially since I have many of my habits and unhealthy ways of dealing with stuff that I dislike, but I also feel like he has so much angst potential in issues that aren't necessarily rooted in his family but moreso his own personality. Healing is often a "one step forward and three step back journey" and while I hate to watch him struggle, his perseverance gives me a lot of strength. Also obviously people change over the course of time and character development and all that, but we see even after the MASSIVE amounts of character development Bakugo has he still retains a lot of his previous qualities and obviously still struggles with a few things. I wonder if it's similar for Shouto. I wonder what he struggles with 🤔 (idk why I am scared but I don't want ppl to take these dumb sleepy thoughts of mine the wrong way yk lol)

I support my mans rights, his wrongs and everything in between :>

(p.s. I am so sleepy rn I don't even know if any of this is coherent cuz the points are flying all over the place but I hope you get a gist of what I am trying to ask. I love myself some sweet angst when it comes to all my blorbos but when I think of Shouto nothing obvious comes to mind. Also whenever I write even an ask or question like this my respect for writers keeps increasing tenfold! How do you guys write fics at like 4 am and it's still a masterpiece and I can barely string my thoughts together... )

Yes!!! I have so many thoughts about this, particularly as someone who also has daddy issues and a hot temper but actively works to be better as well lol.

I do think for the most part we've really seen Shouto move past who he was in those earlier episodes. That is not to say he still doesn't have those feelings, but he arguably manages them in a more regulated way. He has the temper but now he also has the tools and the perspective to better articulate himself.

I think generally Shouto would work hard to be calm and patient during an argument, but as with any human being, mistakes will be made and tempers will spike. I think during particularly bad arguments he'd get more closed off, like in those earlier episodes, would try to go off by himself so that he doesn't explode with that white-hot rage.

I do think, thankfully, that Shouto's ability to show empathy and compassion even in the middle of what we know are the most emotionally trying times of his life (the fights with Dabi), bodes well for his future ability to communicate and regulate himself on the whole. I do not see him as the kind of man who would yell or break things; I see him as the kind of man who now does everything in his power not to be like that.

And also with a face like that, would we not just let him win any argument anyway?? LOL

[cosmic-day]

Having seen the final season of The Umbrella Academy: I didn’t hate it quite as much as most of fandom seem to, but I also didn’t love it. Rambly thoughts and massive spoilers under the cut:

First of all, I don’t know how much the compressed episode count affected things, but I felt like adding  ‘could/would have worked better if fleshed out more’ at the end of every sentence in this review.

As far as positives go, I was OK with the ending. It has been baked into the show from the beginning that the Hargreeves siblings only break whatever they try to fix, and their erasure from the universe being the only thing that restores the timeline does make sense. I kind of respect the show for committing to that, rather than finding a last minute “they died but not really” cop out.

I loved Abigail’s role in it as well and think that is a really underrated bit of satisfying writing: Abigail who has been literally and figuratively fridged for three seasons gets to tell Reginald that she never asked for this and never wanted it, and most importantly gets to not only seize control of the narrative but end it. That part really worked for me.

Viktor had a decent arc and also got to confront Reginald about his shitty parenting which was also satisfying.

Unfortunately, there the positives end.

Most of the other characters got short changed. Klaus was stuck in an irrelevant subplot, as he often is, but here it felt more irrelevant than usual, and also gratuitously dark – I mean, it’s a dark show at times but this felt like trauma porn for the sake of it. Allison had some good moments, but not much of an arc. Diego and Luther were both reduced to goofy, borderline pathetic comic relief in a way that just felt mean spirited at times. Ben and Jennifer needed way more time to work properly.

And then there’s the Five/Lila of it all.

I love these guys. Not only are they my favourite individual characters, but I loved their enemies to chaotic besties arc, and I really wanted more of that friendship. The subway plot was a brilliant idea, and I could have watched a whole episode (I’m thinking the Last Of Us episode ‘Long Long Time’), following them surviving together and developing their friendship (and also maybe addressing little irrelevant details like Five being the killer of her parents). But they just had to shoehorn in a romance, by Steve Blackman’s admission, because they ‘had to have a love story’ for Five. OK, but why? Why does a character ‘need’ a romance? Also, protip, but if you do something because you feel it ‘has’ to happen, and not because you want to develop the characters in any way, it shows.

I should say I don’t particularly care about the age gap issues. Nor do I entirely agree with the argument that it’s ooc for Five, because our precious blorbo Would Never betray his brother like that. I love Five, but he’s a little shit. Also, I’ve seen many complaints that he spent decades in the apocalypse and never gave up so why is he giving up now, but maybe he gave up because he spent decades in the apocalypse. Maybe he’s just tired. Everyone has limits, and Five has hit his.

I just hate that platonic relationships are always erased, sidelined and overwritten in favour of romantic relationships because those are obviously more important and more interesting. Five’s friendship with Lila and devotion to his family are also love stories, and they’re not lesser because they’re not romantic. I also violently hate love triangles. This one was particularly annoying and not even properly resolved.

Overall the season just felt lacking. Where were the great big goofy, joyous setpieces, or alternatively, if such is your jam, the dark and deranged pieces of ultra violence set to a banger of a pop tune. Where, in short, were Footloose and Istanbul Not Constantinople. (Though I will admit Baby Shark made me laugh.)

Anyway. I wouldn’t say the show is ruined for me, but it was a disappointing conclusion and my least favourite season by far.

[kirai0daisy]

Henlo! So I'd like to ask something of my favourite blorbo, Zhask!

Maybe... something fluff in relation to how many god awful food puns he makes.

IM SO SORRY FOR THE LONG WAİTİNG I WAS SO BUSY PLEASE FORGİVE ME 😭

Zhask X (gender is your choice)!Reader Headcanons

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

!Warnings: ANGST, THİNGS ABOUT BLOOD, WARS ETC. PLEASE DONT READ THİS İF YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE WİTH THOSE

Not really warnings: Fluff, Soft-side, comforting

• ZHASK knows you from the very start of the Kastiyan's terrors.

• He is not a man for to fall in love that much fast, he needs time. A lot time- but since Kastiyan's are immortal (:cant die) he haved his a lot time and finally felled(?) in love with you.

• It would be a lie if you said you didnt haved feelings for Zhask,

but you are smart enaugh to not show/tell it to him/someone else.

• 'Cuz real bad things would happen if someone know that.

• How did you guys became a couple? Well after a long time, Zhask falled in love with your fighting style, your smartness(/battle intelligence), your personality and etc.

• So he becams more soft to you. At least when nobodys around. And one day when he called out for you. And you couldnt help but think, did you did something wrong? Did you maked him angry??

• What you didnt know was it was wayyy quite opposite. He just asked you what you feel for him and you said things like 'his strongness, his leadership and etc.' but you both know this is was not everything.

• So Zhask maybe a little bit rather roughfully maked you said everything you feel for him "I.. Like everything about you. I know ım just a warrior that fighting above your leadership but feelings cant controlled..." after some seconds of silence, you continue "Im really sorry for feeling this way, I'll accept everything as punishme-" the words Zhask said shocked you "Alright I accept your date offer but anyone will.not know about this. Alright?" You looked at him shocked but then come to your senses "Alright le-" "Zhask. Or any-thing-else in closed doors"

•After yall became a couple that no one knows both you guys life turned into more.. Colorfull.

• Like every-other-else you are one of the Kastiyan's after all

and uour duty is simple; just fight with other planets, kill people and take their home. Simple as that, right?

• It's not like you have another choice anyways, but still this is your duty. But you cant help the little bit of guilt and sadness whenever you take someone's innocent life.

• But whenever you do that, Zhask will be wait to comfort you. His arms are always open to hug you when he sees the sadness in your eyes.

• Homever he literally hates PDA (:Means affection (hugging, kissing, holding hands and etc.) something like that) So he wont hug you in open-public. This does not means he wont comfort you by the words till you guys are out there.

• Anyone cant hear his words of affection tho, he only says it aloud for you to hear. And when you guys go to closed doors, he will make his awful jokes. Like plz. I know this man is trying to make you laugh but what are theses jokes 💀

• Not only I realizs that after request, he would really make awful jokes. İts literally canon. This man doesnt know anything about funny-ness(???) so his attempt to make you laugh is not how good his joke is, how awfully bad his joke is.

• "What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business" He doesnt either knows if its funny or not. He just.. Says it. You dont know where Zhask found those jokes from tho- he says its a secret. And he says jokes in a veryy monotone tone. So the reason why you are laughing is not how funny his joke is, how awful the joke is and how he sounds like.

• But It doesnt matter to him if his jokes are awful. The thing matter to him is your laugh. Your sweet little laugh that makes him butterflies in his stomach and also makes him smile too.

• Even if you tell him to stop he will just say more because you are laughing "Pff- Cant you at least tell me a better joke?" "Theres only one thing thats better than a good joke: a joke so bad that it’s good" and you will just laugh at how awful his jokes are.

This man can race with Cyno bc of how bad their jokes are- Idk who would win tho..

• He doesnt think about his bloody-messed past when he is with you. You are like a relaxed music to him after a tired day, listening while laying. Yes you really make him feel that much nice. You are his everything.

• So why wont he say jokes even if they are really bad that can make a fish drown in the sea because of how much they laughed and water got their lungs-...... You didnt read that but what Im trying to say is he doesnt care what he is doing or saying if he got to see/listen your smile/laugh.

• The thing matter to him is.. You<3

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Cyno:

And my dear Hoshino Ai gif again<3

Please take care of yourselfs! And I hope yall have a nice day :3 Im taking any kind of requests so please dont shy to say any of it<3

[violivs]

NMTDaily: The Ben Show

- How can I love a fictional character so much, yet cringe so hard I fold in half every time he opens his mouth? The duality of fangirling.

- I don’t care, I love that Ben came up with a terrible theme song and title card for his YouTube show and then never used it again. What a precious nerd.

- “to add some new voices into the debate” babes, this isn’t a debate. Claudio is gonna keep liking his crush no matter what you think, I’m so sorry.

- Ben is PRESSED about Claudio dating. It’s going to get worse. He cannot handle losing his friends even hypothetically.

- Pedro the natural talk show guest thanking the audience for the imaginary applause is gold, as is the ‘WTF’ face he makes when Ben says he’ll photoshop some shit in later. He has Ben’s number, that boy’s never used Photoshop in his life!

- “he’s one of my best mates” “thanks” it’s the way Pedro is momentarily touched and then Ben goes back to being annoying and Pedro’s like, right, never mind.

- Ben is soooo… like, ‘if I constantly tell myself I’m the coolest guy ever and everyone is lucky to be my mate, eventually I’ll start to believe it. Right? …Right?’ (He’s my blorbo and I want to hug him even when he’s being the worst.)

- I love them spending a good 30 seconds just singing Claudio’s name in various tones until he comes in.

- Pedro immediately gives Claudio a noogie. It’s all annoying teenage boys here! It’s how they show affection lol

- Why do I feel like Pedro has absolutely already guessed who Claudio likes? It’s still bad of Ben to tell him, but the smirk on his face! He knows.

- Other people have also noted that it’s really easy to tell what name Ben is writing down. So if Peter didn’t know before, he certainly does in that split second.

- Interesting that Ben doesn’t believe in love, his whole goal is to talk Claudio out of going out with Hero, but he still keeps describing Hero as the girl Claudio LOVES. Not likes. Even Claudio is saying ‘no I don’t love her yet’. Ben’s probably trying to point out exactly that, that it’s not that deep and Claudio should let it go.

- But it’s also interesting to remember that (spoilers!) Ben’s first love is zero-to-100 immediately using the L word right after they get together Love, so in a way that’s all he knows. He just doesn’t, ah, know it yet.

- Really going in on Hero’s height here. Probably because she’s such a lovely person you have to fabricate some cons for the pro-con list. (And because it’s an adaptation of lines from the play, of course.)

- Hero’s almost 16. Is Claudio 16? Is he a year younger than Ben and Pedro and Bea? Or are the four of them all seniors, making them 17 going on 18?

- Ben is going to absolutely hate himself for making a sex joke even remotely involving Hero by the time he rewatches these videos, oh god.

- Peter the peacekeeper! The way these dynamics start out, knowing how they’re going to change, is fascinating. Ben needed to be called out here and he listened, begrudgingly. Well done Pete.

- The boys are so tactile. Tackling each other, the aforementioned noogie. It’s both fighting each other and showing affection. Just something to note.

- Ben giving the most insincere apology in the world. He rags on people because he loves them, and he doesn’t always know when to stop. (Kind of like Beatrice does…)

- “I’m going as the best superhero ever.” “Beyoncé?” “I wish!” ICONIC exchange tbh

- Ending on an Allons-y! And the sonic turning off the video. I love that. What an adorable nerd.

- “Pedro beatboxing” I love having captions on, this is a GEM. He looks so proud of himself for the beatboxing too! I love it.

💖🥭🦩

[blocksruinedme]

About to go insane. Jimmy SolidarityGaming cannot catch a break in any of the series that he's in. Loser in Empire Smp. And as of yesterday, still a Loser in Life Series. And yet so many of us unconditionally adore him?

So last night, for reasons, I got into the shower to wash my hair at 3am, while decently intoxicated. While the water was heating up I looked at the mcc team list, and started thinking about Jimmy and mcc and the decisions he makes as a content creator and how he has to hustle because he doesn't have natural bonuses like "being good at minecraft" or "being booksmart" or "having a good memory". As I stepped into the shower almost said aloud "I'm worried people don't appreciate Jimmy enough." And wondered if I should go back a "Reasons Jimmy is Great #373-402" tumblr post.

But there I was just standing in the water in the middle of the night afraid[1] people don't appreciate Jimmy. I soooorta thought I would have chilled out about this (gorgeous) wet paper bag of a man with (charming) loser boy swag (and great comedic timing and a kind and loving personality and big heart) nine months later, but *apparently not*.

Anyway to address the ask - I like Jimmy winning things cause it makes him happy. It does not affect how much I adore him, because... I don't care about winning? I'm thinking about why.

I grew up in a Sports Household that was devoted to a team that has not made it out of the playoffs since... many decades. This both gives me "caring about winning is bother a sucker's game and setting yourself up for misery and meh" and "if you drop your team/blorbo because they haven't won in a couple decades, you're Not A Real Fan".

I am very competitive in some ways, but only a few really translate out of "I want to personally excel". This is hard, actually, to think about why I don't care when my first though was "but why would I care?"

Also coming in 40th at mcc makes the 1v3 dodgebolt wins so much sweeter

In the end what I care about is that I adored watching the Bad Boys and Jimmy had a blast. Would I have enjoyed him beating the curse? Yeah! Am I sad he looked so bummed? Well yes for sure. But my boy chose to be silly and jump off bridges *so many times*, I don't even want to count how many times he did it total. He made his bed, and he fell off a bridge into it.

Meanwhile Empires... yeah there's no "oh poor Jimmy" when the whole thing is what he wants. I listen to a lot of streams, mostly of him but also other people, and he's literally asking for it. fWhip once said it's because Jimmy's much more comfortable roleplaying/acting reactively, instead of coming up with the thing. He loves making his shocked faces and using his affronted voice, and he asks his friends to do things for him to react to.

PERSONALLY I'd love if they expanded Jimmy's empires reactions to be less about other PCs being mean to him, I'm hopeful that this fae can expand to a huge disaster where he's totally fucked but it's all by NPC/environment and his friends can help him. (As someone who used to play/run boffer LARP campaigns, it just feels SO larp. spouse and i sit around and point and shout about how we would do these things. 100% the reason i started going here was because last life felt like an awesome larp.)

So my love is unconditional because it's for a silly guy in London who loves his friends and minecraft, is kind to his fans, and makes me smile every single time I see him. If I'm sad, the best thing to do is put on the intro to any Jimmy stream or video, it's his big hello everybody! smile that warms my soul. He makes me happy and he makes me laugh and he could be the worst at everything and it would mean nothing. He is my blorbo, my special little boy, my wet paper bag of a man, and even my therapist thinks he has a good effect on my life. <3 <3 <3

...though I do hate watching him be inefficient at stardew valley, I don't play minecraft but i'm good at sdv and now I think I get the pain of watching him play minecraft. But I'm there for Jimmy, not the games. <3

[1] note: you do not have to appreciate Jimmy! It's fine. Trashed Vee really wants you to, and sober Vee thinks it makes life better to love Jimmy, but please don't take this post as weirder than it already is.

[sojourner-between-worlds]

Thanks to @ygobattleroyale 's King of the Autism poll/tournament/thing that's gearing up, I am here to once again spread propaganda for my (current) favorite autistic blorbo, Yusei Fudo, since he rightfully made the bracket.

I had a whole essay started once that I never finished, but here I will be summing up some of the main points. This is also based on the sub. (Not hating on the dub in this post but the two are so vastly different they are practically different canons so I thought I should probably specify.)

Someone on here pointed out once that Yusei has "resting b*tch face" aka flat affect and I've been thinking about that ever since. (Wish I could credit them but I can't find the post again, haha. Had screenshots and everything. Very thorough.)

He's pretty straightforward. He says what he means and he means what he says. He doesn't sugarcoat things or beat around the bush. The first line he has is a very blunt question followed by an equally blunt response to the answer he receives.

My guy oscillates wildly between semi-verbal and hyperverbal. He's the main character but you literally do not hear his voice for the first seven minutes of the show and when he's not in life-threatening situations he's really pretty quiet most of the time. But then you also have the episode with Bruno where Crow comments how Yusei has never talked to him that much at once -- maybe in total ever -- and along with that, Jack being offended that apparently Yusei never has important conversations with him (also pertains to the above point since Yusei was being very blunt in that moment and a little bit mean, though that's not the way he obviously meant it to be, lol.)

The whole of meeting Bruno, okay? All Of That. He makes friends with Bruno in about .2 seconds to the point of sharing Super Secret Plans with him all because of a shared interest in mechanics and engineering. #autisticbonding

Crow also points out that Yusei really seemed to perk up while talking to and working with Bruno, which is very on point for engaging with a special interest especially when you have someone to engage in said interest with.

He's obviously shown to have a strong interest in Duel Monsters (obviously) as well as mechanics and engineering. He built his first fully functional d-wheel out of scrap parts by the time he was 16, after all.

During the WRGP opening gala, one of the other teams comes up to him and are excited and wanting to talk to him and he completely brushes them off and walks away. Crow calls him out on it (“hey man, that was really rude!”) and he’s like “oh whoops, yeah I guess you’re right.” He may have been distracted by other things, but this is still peak "failure to read social cues".

Having a strong moral compass gets him into trouble on more than one occasion. Because of his circumstances, he has a strong (and justified) distrust of authority, and he’s not afraid to break laws that he deems unjust. Even though breaking out of Satellite isn’t in itself for any moral reason (its just the means to an end), he isn’t afraid of breaking the law that says he isn’t allowed to leave because he sees that law as unjust and doesn’t understand why it exists. (For the record, it is unjust but that’s not the point, haha.)

I am sure there are more points, but that's all I've got for now, haha. Feel free to add anything I missed, and be sure to vote for Yusei when the polls start!

[sanderssidesthehouse]

Can you do Patton for the character bingo? I've seen a lot of different takes so I'm curious to see what you think.

-🌻🌼

Hi flower anon! I'm a little nervous about this one ngl but I will do it for you.

Circle sizes represent how confident I was marking a box. Not a lot of confidence on this one bc I'm still conflicted. I think further resolution of his arc might solidify how I feel about him, or change it completely.

I don't really like Patton Sanders and that's my toxic trait, but HEAR ME OUT. I don't want to convince anyone not to like him, in fact I'd love to convince people of all the reasons they COULD possibly like him! Just like bc of my real life personal experiences, I'm not very fond of him. He is not my blorbo 😔 I don't hate him, but I do mildly dislike him. (As a character I think he's great, his conflict presents a fascinating narrative that I enjoy quite a lot.)

"But Ace," I hear you saying, "you said you don't like him and yet you still think he's being done dirty by fans?" To which I say "Yes, absolutely, there are people out there liking and disliking him for the wrong reasons!" (In my humble opinion.)

Patton is NOT an innocent little baby who needs to be protected, NOR is he a manipulative asshole. He's just a guy trying his best who messes up sometimes. He should be treated like an adult with agency and be given some grace for when he stumbles.

He does care about his famILY and he tries so hard to show it, but he's always felt like he has to know the correct answers and that they're depending on him. And tbh with how much c!Thomas defers to Morality, I get it. When someone is constantly looking to you for answers and it's your job to have them, saying 'I don't know' is scary! But he and everyone else should really try to be brave and say 'let's figure it out together' rather than confidently giving an answer that has a good chance of being wrong. But again, I do understand the crushing weight of these expectations.

I think it's really clever that Morality got paired with Emotions, bc emotions are what drives morality. Different people have different emotions that more strongly affect their morals, with Patton, we see compassion as a primary motivator, but also fear. The fear of slipping into the category known as 'bad person' and the fear of that categorization being permanent. And then bottles that fear up out of shame. Very catholic guilt of him.

I do feel bad for Patton where we left him bc he's finally going to get the help he needs, but somewhat at the cost of the love and respect of his famILY. Roman feels betrayed, Virgil hates Janus, and Logan... Well he's got a lot going on right now anyway.

I prefer Patton when I'm looking at him through the lens of his relationships to the others. He really does his best for them, he's a sweet guy. He tries to be encouraging and he clearly knows the other three very well. And with Janus I think the strongest negative emotion he feels is occasional annoyance, you know, like when he was impersonated. He seems to actually kind of like him otherwise. Not the biggest fan of Remus, which is an understandable side effect of him not yet having sorted himself out. He's trying now, so I'm sure that will come with time.

Also his froggy traits are sick as hell and I hope we see more, I want to see more, make him a frog please, I beg. That's like, the high point of his character to me, I actually had to come back and edit this after I scheduled it to include that bc holy crap Patton's a frog and I love that for him, but I also love that for ME.

So why don't I like him? I have intrusive thoughts and moral ocd and personal trauma I'm not going to get in to so like... He's just so unbelievably frustrating to me as he currently is. Also it just irks me that he's clearly not as naive as he pretends to be and it just boils my blood when people play willfully ignorant. He's doing it bc he's scared, but isn't that why everyone does it? It's still bad, and it causes a lot of damage. I'm of the opinion that if something scares you, you should learn everything you can about it. Logan said something like that once and he was right.

He just makes me feel the need to tell people they don't have to be a moral paragon to be good or do good things or be deserving of happiness, health, safety, and love. I get it's his job and all, I just really can't separate a character like that from all the stuff I had to learn and unlearn for my personal health and safety. And maybe I actually just want to say that to him. Maybe the problem is that we're too similar in all of our worst traits and seeing a grim reflection where once stood a cheery mural is upsetting. Maybe it's Maybelline.

Idk, I might actually like him. I'm very wishy washy on this subject. I think I can manage liking him while also disliking him. I'm very talented. I would love for everyone to tell me all the reasons they love Patton! I think he's neat and I'd love to like him.

[dcawritings]

Let's see if I can remember these right... for any of your AUs!

🌛✔️💕

Ask me about the DCA and my AUs!

🌛- Do you prefer the DCA in your AU to be biblically accurate or blorbofied?

Oooh that's a hard one, actually. I think it really depends on a lot of factors—I think having them blorbofied makes it a LOT easier to handwave things, but Biblically Accurate is a FUN challenge since they’re so limited on ways they can express emotions outside of tone and body language.

I think in all the AUs I partake in and the couple I’ve thought up I prefer the blorbo style, but for The Color of Your Eyes (TCoYE) I will likely stick with Biblically Accurate for a good while since I love the restrictions it brings—and one huge theme for that AU/story is how love and affection is expressed in a multitude of ways (both to the self and to others), especially when the reader discovers that they are not quite as human as they once thought :)

✔️ - Tell us a random fact about any of the characters in your AU

For The Color of Your Eyes:

The reader is the manager of the Superstar Daycare and has been working there for as long as they can remember! Their first job, in fact, though it’s odd that they don’t seem to recognize other people who have also been there for years… huh, that’s a little odd, isn’t it? Well, at least Sun and Moon really enjoy your company c:

💕 - Time for a shout-out! What are some of your fav AUs from other creators in the fandom?

Star-Crossed by @solar-synapse is a beautiful AU that I will never suggest enough of tbh, if you want a wild ride and some excellent character writing then check it out!

Abyssal Lights by @phoenixdaneko is a classic Mer AU with a neat twist—the reader is a mer themselves! Phoenix does a lovely job in pulling you into the events and I’m always weak to Mer AUs (there’s also several other fics by her and they are EXCELLENT so definitely peek around when you’re done)

The Personal Care Unit series by @justaduckarts is so cute and adorable where Sun and Moon are personal caretakers for the reader and it’s so fucking cute. The link is to what is already posted—smut, but delicious smut—but I’d definitely subscribe to the AO3 to be alerted for more!

Oh oh and I also must mention Lost in the Astral Seas by @cosmicfleurs, it’s another Mer AU but the designs for the boys are so good and I’m not sure if there’s a fic yet for it (please correct me bc I must read it immediately) but I absolutely suggest taking a peek at those gorgeous designs and giving a follow!!

Also, because I hate the number 4 and also bc it’s a team effort, the Digimon AU between myself, @solar-synapse, @armoondrop and @phoenixdaneko is just so much fun—in the planning stage mostly, but I just wanted to shout you guys out for this awesome concept c:

Please know this is only a FRACTION of the amazing fics and AUs I’ve seen shared on my DCA discord server, so I got plenty more to suggest

[lesbianinaginkgoforest]

zima (character bingo)

they look so cool… their coat is the best part of their design, like it just makes the whole character silhouette be very distinguishable. and the red of her is very tiny but a very big part of her color scheme I love it…

okay they're deeper than they seem, haven't seen many bear fans around in these places but that's a given, she's just so fucking traumatized both by her abusive family which led her into building a fake tough persona who kicked the shit out of bad people in a way to defend her own self and avoid thinking of all the shit happening with her family where her father was unemployed as hell and they barely had money to eat. (remembers the weird shaped ham they eat which I feel is more of a reference to eating humans since this image comes from a nightmare she has where she argues with herself)

I just love how she defended gummy and istina when all the other students turned into her when zima became their leader and she ended up killing them all because they didn't like her way of doing things and were desperate for a scapegoat aekukreukagrue. Kinda funny that vika suggested them all to join or ally with the nobles and Istina just lied up about Zima "hating them" I mean she did but not with as much fervor as Anna did. on the case of she not doing anything wrong is also because she can kill as many as she wants and it will be okay she's just a little blorbo who'd do anything wrong :3

I'm mentally ill about them… I wish her attack animation had the "double hit" with her axe she does in lore… where she doesn't do a third slash with her axe because that's how she cut human bodies to hand the pieces for Gummy to cook them, but no the game is just boring and makes her attack 1 hit at a time…

In general going into headcanons back to her family issues I guess she dealt a lot with internalized lesbophobia :blobnomouth: because of how often her parents told her to "get a nice guy to marry" so she could be "well off" and how they told her that she should study and be better mannered to be a "good wife" while all she wants is to punch nobles and be a badass dyke who doesnt care about anything. Maybe her mom saw her she was hoarding a bunch of pants and flannels and threw them all away, her mother also saw zima cutting her hair short once and never spoke to her daughter* in normal ways again… Oh also zima one day saw a butch while walking in the street and decided that's how she wanted to be :p

I feel like her way of showing love is a bit… weird, silence unless she sees her friends being threatened, she feels like she has to protect all of them, they are the only thing she has left in her life and so overworks herself in the gym and training hours just to be stronger for gummy and istina (and Rosa but she doesn't want to admit how much she desires to be a Knight in armor for the stupid former noble), this way of showing affection and standing up for others just drags her more and more into situations that just end up hurting or making a mess out of everyone… She doesn't talk much with absinthe because they hate each other a bit but absinthe always get her brand new vodka (zoya is mischievous about it, thinking of it as a vengeance). The only person she isn't as direct with is Rosa, she has a hard time figuring out why is it that even if she's the one who always listens to her troubled mind, she can't comprehend her most of the time and kind hates the way Natalya scuffs herself behind a fake personality of always trying to look and act like the perfect girl… she wishes she could fix that stupid fake smile in Rosa's with a bunch of kisPUNCHES. She sometimes doesn't know why Rosa stares at her with such admiration and fondness when they rarely share lunch together… Yet somehow they always come to see each other during nights when one of them has nightmares, so they usually just drink tea (despite zima hating it) and cuddle in silence in the night until they fall asleep. Before they started dating Istina noticed that zima sometimes went to Rosa's room a lot and tried to spy on them… and ended up falling asleep in the hall outside of Rosa's room (Anna ended up getting dragged while being asleep by zima all the way back to her room when they noticed someone was out there). Zima loves and hates the way Rosa is, she's way too protective of everyone but can't stand the way Rosa is just so focused on her, it suffocates her in bad sunny days, kills her awful rainy days yet when it snows she realizes how much she wants Rosa despite her obsessive ways :blobwithnomouth:

[bentosandbox]

better late than never amirite

i think i haven't posted july (cause I thought global would have released TBC by now...) or october (commission) on here/twitter hopefully i remember to sometime this year

bonus chen edition because well i guess she is my cringefail girlboss blorbo

bonus chenswire edition

bonus bonus extremely boring stuff

films i watched in 2022 (tragedy of macbeth out of picture because it was on the next row)

top 10 (in watched order not a 1-10 ranking)

Marketa Lazarova (1967) Friend was streaming it, liked the script so much I asked my friend for the srt file after Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022) Rocks Petite Maman (2021) Personal Attack Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon (2000) :) My Life as a Zucchini (2016) Celine Sciamma truly don't miss Saturday Fiction (2019) It's not a 5/5 movie but...the soul... the period noir... Nope (2022) The Spectacle dot jpg Hands Over The City (1963) yes i watched this just before il siracusano Decision To Leave (2022) yuriyaoi straight romance can't elaborate Puss In Boots (2022) i'm so glad i didn't watch this as a kid i would have nightmares, but as an adult i got to see my traumas on the big screen yippee!!!

missed a local screening of My Broken Mariko because it only happened for ONE DAY fucking insane (I recommend reading the original manga it's so good)

Speaking of books hmm

Swordspoint yuriyaoi... Invisible Ink reread. and I think I need to reread again Fire & Blood read it after watching hotd ep 1 pretty good series btw dare i say even ...the best on-screen yaoiyuri of the year... Eagle Shooting/Condor Heroes Book 1 Not bad Water Margin Didn't I write a angry rant on this. rite of passage i guess...... How to Keep House While Drowning its funny because i WILL do chores......still good though What My Bones Know - insane how trauma can be so isolating yet universal lol A Wizard of Earthsea if only i read this instead of harry potter back then lmao wow

you can now basically psychoanalyse my issues from the last three books I think

Uhhhhhhh what else am I missing - oh yeah I did 3 gamejams this year (Art/Design and a liiiiiitle bit of trying to do the UI in Unity myself instead of giving the pngs to my friends)

my abysmal steam stats told me i only played 5 games this year so I need to get back my gamer license, backlog is like 75% VNs though what's up with that (there's only 4 games but. well)

had a really long blogpost (basically a 'look at all the things you did this year you didnt waste it' thing thus the above lists) but i think i'll just keep it to my notion notes lest this post becomes a traumadumping ground ecks dee tl;dr failed a Very Important (to me) Thing early 2022 that kind of shattered any crumb of self-esteem i had and made me question everything i did onwards (especially in regards to doujin stuff) and then basically physical health issues affecting mental health and vice versa which is fun but fuck it we ball.....(try)

don't really have any solid 'resolutions' (that i would remember to do) other than to 'live' more than just 'survive' as edgy as that sounds 🥴oh wait oc zine yea yea and go into illustration full time h-haha........... should really get around to making a patreon/fanbox but i really hate the idea of paywalling

also signed up for a AK doujin event in Nagoya in March so I now have a very heavy motivation to finish the second half of my LGD doujin and hopefully I get to table at AX too dot dot dot