#which is still weird to me bc i genuinely see myself as a no one blog | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bumofthewild · 4 months

Note

what are your shadowbringers thoughts so far 🥳

too many.........! i mean it like a lot. more than i get to in this post. also i did the final trial of post-shb ytd actually so spoilers for both shb and post-shb (up 2 the end of that fight)

i think it was different from what i was expecting from the pre-shb parts... like i really enjoyed what immediately happens after the yotsuyu trial where alphinaud plans to go to garlemald and gets stranded in the burn (one of the coolest locations in the game) and the really dire feeling from your friends falling unconscious around you and a voice calling to you in this urgent but poetic way; i was really into the feeling of this unknown threat closing in all around wol. when finally alisaie falls (i liked the development she was getting and how blunt she is abt caring abt her loved ones) and wol gets transported to the first i was like whooooaaaa but then i actually think the story kind of lost me for a bit bc it loses that pre-shb momentum setting up the first as a location. not to say the opening parts of shb aren't well-written or interesting bc they def are but i found myself kind of wanting to go back to that intense direness (rather than the resigned-to-danger feeling of life in the first after the flood) and also i had this idea of shb being this visually darker expansion probably bc of the title and the garlemald cutscenes so its funny its the exact opposite. i rmb i also thought the shadowbringers would be the ascians but they really made you think that on purpose smh bc the shadowbringers are actually.....you....! (i think)

still i really like the idea of overwhelming light and how it just leads to stasis of all things. shb has some truly weird ideas but in a really fun way like the idea that the echo is something that can be evoked within sundered beings by having them experience a starshower like how the fuck do you come up with that. just some truly esoteric things like elemental imbalances and the shattering of the source into thirteen shards and all that like im genuinely a big fan of the ffxiv world lore. it was cool how all this stuff was set up pretty well too with the warriors of darkness from post-hvw like i really liked how they put those guys back into the story. and i always enjoy when the driving force in a story is like a hunt for mini-bosses (the light wardens). i think what was kind of making my interest fray at times though was again just establishing a new setting which i was less interested in than the overwhelming light plot stuff. particularly eulmore, probs bc i went there first fresh after all the urgent things were winding down but also bc it's so detailed a location it feels almost separate from the game to me so i felt a bit distracted. i really wasn't expecting that initial confrontation with vauthry to extend into him and his army becoming such a large part of the story, but i did like it regardless, like that cut-scene with kai-shirr where you save him from vauthry was so dramatic its even giving me chills remembering it. the fatphobia regarding vauthry's character was weird but im just. like ok. well i just had to say it

i really like the new locations too like il mheg definitely was made for me to spend hrs in there wishing it was real but everywhere too was really fresh and unique. i like mord souq a lot and i liked seeing the beast tribes be incorporated into the societies as opposed to whatever eorzea is always doing wrong. i also liked the attention put into things like developing relationships w ppl from the diff areas like helping with the trolley and the talos at twine--i always like stories where places are revitalised. like smaller-scale hopes being restored amongst the larger actions like bringing back the night and showing how these small things can be equally as important. i liked the effort that went into establishing the unique lifestyles of denizens of the first also. and seriously everything aboug il mheg plus urianger hanging out with fairies is one of those things that feels directly plucked from the self-indulgent recesses of my brain. i was actually sad when you lifted the mist bc the place felt a lot more enclosed (i like enclosed things i love an enclosed atmosphere which is why i wanted shb to feel less like it was opening up a story) and dreamy but oh well i can always just ng+ the game and never find urianger's house and frolick in misty il mheg forever

going back to how each area is really fun i also really like that idk thing stories do where you encounter a diff person at every diff location. like that all your friends were at different places on the map idk how to explain but i thought that was a fun way to have wol explore novrandt that makes sense. and how these new places recontextualise the scions who have been with you since arr was interesting like seeing them in a new light. i do feel like the game doesn't develop urianger and y'shtola as much emotionally compared to the others (THANCRED IS THE MAIN CHARACTER OF THIS GAME?) bc idk they're smart or smth so they're usually playing Mr. Exposition roles but i was grateful that at least you finally FINALLY spend a lot of time together as a party and build your relationship. probs one of the things i enjoyed most about shb. like you obvs don't see them in hvw bc they're all missing--just generally urianger isn't hidden away in some library thancred isn't skulking around some imperial stronghold somewhere y'shtola isn't being placed in a coma for the millionth time and the twins aren't otherwise engaged with logistics/combat. like everyone was finally together and striving towards the same things together. i could finally feel the bond between the scions rather than be told they're close thru sparse interactions they have with wol individually.

i also really like what they did with ardbert, the moments w him all felt so poignant. i used to find him silly in post-hvw calling himself the warrior of darkness and smirking at me all the time until the moment he goes back to the first w urianger's help..then i was like my bad i wasnt aware of your struggles.... i like how they complicated his char a lot and his narrations were so fun. his char is a good example i think of how shb did a good job of being both heartbreaking and pretty dark without being hamfisted or unnecessarily cynical

i feel like im going to have to spend so much time processing shb bc i blasted thru it but also bc i was so distracted by the crystal exarch like the moment i saw him i was like is this not just g'raha bc of the male miqote mouth (and that he has you go to the crystal tower but mostly the mouth) and this like proceeded to distract me to an insane degree up until the very second his hood flew back at the climax of the game and revealed it was actually him. i was even telling my sister like i hope he doesn't reveal his face himself i hope some stray wind or w/e blows the hood down...so i won that interaction. idk how i managed to avoid spoiling that considering i used to see fanart of him often bc he's so popular but i am not ungrateful bc even if its obviously him that would have sucked bc needing to know it was him like being right was possessing me

uhh what else............ regretfully emet-selch is now one of my fav characters. in the whole game. which is crazy to me.... i used to see his name around as well but what i rmb specifically is this one time i saw like a tweet complaining abt ff fans who are really into the imperialist ideals mention him and i was like eww guess im never gonna like this emet-selch guy if i play hahahaha. and i had this weirdass vision of him in my head as this brooding black robe-wearing guy w mid length grey hair or smth (just the impression i got from his name idefk) bc i had no clue what he looked like. and then solus shows up for the first time and i was like wow this guy is really interesting like whenever he shows up the plot really starts gripping me bc i just find the shit to do with the ascians soooooo super interesting. like the fact that they're very openly present but such a large threat. it's interesting to me that as enemies they make themselves so known to the main cast and could be anywhere at any time--i find that sort of impasse really fun. like a tense atmosphere nobody on either side breaks until the final moment bc they're not sure what the retaliation will be. also when emet-selch admitted that as ascians they'd all been tempered by zodiark like HUHHHH THATS SO INTERESTING

i think definitely the part after mt.gulg trial was where i was really understanding why i see a lot of ppl say that shb is the best expac bc how much the plot ramps up the stakes all of a sudden compared to the level of danger you get used to is crazy. and it really gives you things to think about beyond wuhhh good and evil bc like after you incoporate all that light into you, you're the threat now...? like what do you do? when you open the windows and the light has come back to the world after you gave everyone this hope the night sky could come back... that level of fucking up really surprised me. and the whole time emet-selch is shadowing you really only feels at most like a vaguely concealed threat and i feel like i don't usually get caught like that but i was genuinely shocked he was such a serious threat all of a sudden. like i genuinely forgot even though all of his interactions felt like being on the edge of a deal w the devil. and it was well done too i like when everyone is honest abt their intentions more or less the whole time but theres still a lot of intrigue -> danger

i usually roll my eyes at ig simplistic overtures about sympathizing with or even at least understanding your enemy but i have to say i really was unfortunately taken in by the fact that emet-selch was very genuine about his interest in the main party, and it was even better to me bc of how precarious their interactions were. i just love weird and hard-to-put-into-words relationships between ppl who know of each other but are essentially strangers. and compared to the other ascians you've met so far how he makes his appeals more human/emotional rather than with the stiff otherworldly-being logic of his comrades i find interesting, and again it doesn't come off as simplistic or try to provide any thoughtless concrete answers to me bc although the main party at least feels enough towards him to feel pity/considerate/betrayed, which i like bc that's just what ppl do, they just can't accept him (obviously) and they remain at that standstill. like they understand each other but they will never agree. not getting into how he invites wol who is turning into a monster personally to his underwater lair bc i want to seem normal secret recesses of my mind i just always like characters that seem cool or capable or operate in a way that seems very (almost "nobly") focused but its actually something of a farce, and they're really being spurred on by some intensely personal emotion. like shinobu from kny or sekigahara from 13 sentinels who are some off my fav characters. i did feel like the way he was rejecting the party at the end (before you fight him) was kind of excessive, like they were playing up his villainy a bit so it would make more sense you have to kill him or smth, but in my mind it's like of course you have to kill him no matter what. and i don't mean all of this in some woobifying way where i feel bad for him like nooo poor emet more like i just like when someone is really driven by emotions idk lemme try to find the words. the way the grief like bleeds out of him... like he creates a giant city of memories that he wants someone to understand so bad. i like that kind of mishandled pain...like an inability to contain something.

but as much as what the ascians strive towards/how they go about it/most things to do with them fascinate me i do have an iffy feeling about smth very specific that i think really solidified itself with amaurot. i find the conflict that is the sundering really interesting but how it's conceptualized is really................hm....the ascians having a normative standard of what it means to be a "proper" or fully-fledged or whole being = being worthy of life, so that killing the "malformed" beings that are the non-ascians doesn't count as killing.... that they have this idea of a "true" type of person. does that not seem like couched in really blatant ableist (and other things but im just a fool on tumblr) thought about what it means to be considered a person. i was just fascinated bc they're the villains so I GUESS it's meant to be "wrong" the way they think, but theyre still also sympathetic chars (and imperialists) so ok. this is also the acting logic of eorzea disposing of the ixal and the kobolds and the sahagin etc etc like killing beastmen is like swatting flies. the beast racism. like you know the amount of stock ppl put into worthless concepts like "reason" as if its some immutable law and not socially constructed and thats whats good and virtuous and deserving of life. it was just interesting? (HAHAHAHAUUUGHH) to see that represented in this hyper-rational and streamlined city/society of the ascians. the hard edges and the carefully tended charmless cement rows of tree plots and organized lines for licenses and taking pleasure in an organised and rational debate with my fellow ascians at the debate hall. like the perfect and complete world the ascians are killing themselves to bring back is bureaucracy???????? i actually was so stunned i wanted to laugh. idk it just makes so much sense to me that the way square enix apparently pictures some lost utopia "lesser" beings cant achieve would be in this sort of fake-conflictless way. it feels otherworldly of course in comparison to the rest of the worlds and i enjoyed that section of the game a lot but. like good lord

i had like no thoughts about g'raha until post-shb for some reason maybe bc idk what i could say the game hasn't already abt his personality but i'm like fascinated with how taken he is with wol bc i almost don't get it. i actually kind of mostly enjoy it in a really one-sided way where he is enamoured with wol as a fantasy figure out of his reach and it just stays that way forever. he interests me bc it feels like he's not really alive....and i said in my post about stormblood that i really like characters who feel like they can't see a life for themselves in the future beyond some goalpost they strive towards..but g'raha feels a bit different, he doesn't feel dead inside or empty he just feels like. he's not alive like he's not living. idk like he's not a human person but a symbol (the crystal exarch). ig it's his solitary focus on salvation bc even though he bakes lyna a cake for her bday and it turns out badly i like struggle to imagine him doing anything mundane or anything that isn't crystally or exarchy. i have to rotate him more idk. how he's also self-serving despite thinking so lowly of himself is interesting to me too. and i like how all of this is symbolised by how he'll have to reconcile this current version of himself with his past self, that is reimagine himself as a living flesh and blood person, in order to get out of the crystal vessel (symbolism?) hes currently inside of. whether he does idk yet im still playing post-shb so plz dont say.

i think im running out of space rip my thoughts on elidibus and the final hades fight (they should have just made it emet-selch, hades carries too many preconceptions so it felt random to me but maybe im just greedy and i've spared too much thoughts abt this guy already)

oh shit i also wanted to talk about how the more i learn about the ascians the more i'm convinced the imperialism in this game is just a waste of space and time and effort in this game but well. huge tangent. i genuinely just pretend its not there

last thoughts i'm convinced the finality of so many of the events is like.... was this supposed to be the final part of the ffxiv story..... the cinematic fight with hades/ how you beat him using the power of friendship/the heroes gauntlet duty where everyone you've helped in the first comes to your aid/fight against the original warrior of light....? etc. like it definitely all feels so final. why are there expansions after this......................like why bother.......shb did it all

#asks #anonymous #ffxiv spoilers #shadowbringers spoilers #post-shadowbringers spoilers #if anyone is wondering? heavensward is still my favourite expansion #spoilers

22 notes · View notes

communistkenobi · 10 months

Note

ive never seen any star trek stuff before i started watching tos recently, and ive been liking it a lot but the level to which i like it is definitely not proportional to how good i think it is. like its good but its also kinda shit in a lot of ways, they had kirk say the gender binary is a universal constant, most of kirks Blonde Love Interests Of The Week show zero agency in the romance or sometimes the plot in general, they constantly defy the "dont fuck with alien cultures" rule bc Other Cultures Are Weird And Need Us To Fix Them, and also its just kinda dumb sometimes! i like it mostly because A) the character dynamics are really fun and B) i love seeing the 60s bleed through the script and getting to psychoanalyze the writer based on the thematic storytelling ("this is about the cold war. this is also about the cold war. this is- yup you guessed it the cold war, theyre feeling anxious about nukes again this week. this ones about the writer hating religion. this ones about integration. surprise twist this ones an implicit criticism of solitary confinement. this ones about the cold war again but this time its a really weird but ballsy take"), but its still very much a show from the 60s written by incredibly flawed people so of course its going to be flawed? its been interesting to watch it as a shadow on the cave wall of american politics from that era and ive been having fun but idk why anyone would try and say its not politically fucked in a lot of ways. like its fine you can like this old show and also admit that the writers were not actually all that enlightened about colonialism

I really really like the show! and honestly I genuinely like that it’s openly a piece of American Cold War propaganda, I think it’s very interesting and entertaining as a living historical artefact. I’m less interested in critiquing any one part of it because I feel like the misogyny and orientalism and ableism and etc are not flaws grafted onto an otherwise uncompromised whole, they are an integral part of what tos is and what its place is in the broader popular culture. Like I do not think you can subtract any of those qualities and keep tos enact at the end it, because those gendered and racial and abled assumptions are baked into it, as they are in a lot of sci-fi. And I find the reactionary and bigoted elements just as compelling as the good parts, not because they don’t offend my political sensibilities but because I want to appreciate “the whole text” for what it is and what it does. For me they aren’t things to be ignored or blocked out, they are part of how I enjoy the show and how I understand it as a piece of art.

obviously nobody is required to engage with it in the same way, and if those things are deal-breakers (or even if you want to ignore them) then that is completely fine, I’m not your dad etc, but I think part of why I’ve been getting so much pushback from people about bringing these things up is because they are primarily invested in it as a character drama with the word “socialist utopia” pasted on top of it, and so they are engaging with tos is an idealised expression of their political values. Which isn’t novel, that is like the default mode of engagement with art online (and I am not exempting myself from this), but if you bring up the racism or colonialism or misogyny most people invoke “but it’s socialist!” as a blanket defense, as if that’s at all responsive to any of those descriptions of the show.

anyway I ALSO really like the show as character drama, legitimately Kirk and Spock are really fun characters and I’m very invested in them individually, but my main enjoyment of Star Trek is that it’s American mid-century space-race propaganda, and a lot of it is deeply reactionary as a direct consequence

#asks

45 notes · View notes

girlfriendsofthegalaxy · 7 months

Text

tuesday again 2/13/2024

writing cover letters like "Market Research Firm 953989464860, will YOU be my Valentine?"

also, a fallout 4 femslash fic for femslash feb

listening

Fresh Blood by the Eels off their 2009 album Hombre Loco. i would say this is another "i think a vampire probably wrote this low, grooving track" but there are several howls featured. wikipedia says it is about a werewolf. this song sounds like it has a simple bassline and simple drums but it knows what it's about. it's probably secretly really complicated but i specced in knowing about fabric, not about music.

youtube

it makes me want to ice skate really fast and also sounds like watching broken highway lane dividers go by late at night. fascinating that the back half of the four-plus minute song is fully instrumental. definitely a song for when you are traveling, or perhaps proceeding. spotify

Sun down on the sorry day By nightlights the children pray I know you're probably gettin' ready for bed Beautiful woman get out of my head I'm so tired of the same old crud Sweet baby I need fresh blood

i've been mainlining The Black Keys' album Brothers so it makes sense this popped up on my Discover Weekly spotify playlist

reading

in 2015, the year i dropped out of college, the closest comic/weird nerd shit store was a forty minute drive from my house. i bought the first issue of the serialized anthology comics magazine The Island bc i liked the Moebius-esque cover by Brandon Graham, before i knew who either of those artists were or that i liked them. i think it was ten bucks, and having to show my drivers' license really sticks in my brain for some reason. the point i am slowly approaching is that the magazine only ran for fifteen issues, and i didn't buy any other copies bc ten bucks a month was too dear for me, but it was a tremendous incubator for artists i would end up loving. about half the time i stumble across a lovely self-contained book that knocks my socks off i find out it started life in The Island.

All his life, Hank Cho wanted to join the ranks of the Habsec—the rulers of the orbital habitat his people call home. But when he finds a powerful, forbidden weapon from the deep past, a single moment of violence sets his life—and the brutal society of the habitat—into upheaval. Hunted by the cannibalistic Habsec and sheltered by former enemies, Cho finds himself caught within a civil war that threatens to destroy his world. A new barbarian sci-fi adventure by SIMON ROY (PROPHET, JAN'S ATOMIC HEART, Tiger Lung), originally serialized in ISLAND MAGAZINE.

Simon Roy's Habitat asks: do you want to hear a story about a generation ship gone wrong? this is a guy who really knows how to draw mechs and all their fiddly bits and loves doing it, which is a really transferrable skill to lovingly detailing the crumbling brutalist neo-mesoamerican architecture. the Habsec cannibals and their bits and pieces of scavenged armor blend in so well, it's genuinely shocking when we see someone in full, kept up, incredibly colorful armor. gorgeous, gorgeous book. love a fucked up generation ship.

found while perusing the stacks of the library that was closest to a bunch of other admin errands i was running, bc i finally have a tx drivers license and can start collecting tx library cards

watching

im also asking myself why the hell i'm watching yellowstone with my bestie and her husband. it has every trigger warning and a lot of them would make me decline the experience had i looked them up beforehand. however, the inevitablilty of each little tragedy feeding into the circular threshing maw that is the Dutton family is really clicking for me. like well! that mom sure did die in the most traumatizing way possible! and wow that really does go a long way toward explaining why the daughter is self-medicating to an alarming degree AND why no one else is doing anything about it bc they're all still mad at her for being very tangential to her mom's death!

the amount of Stuff that happens per episode is truly astonishing. one of my favorite parts of the ttrpg Beamsaber is the downtime between missions, bc you get to have some really bonkers interactions with people who don't usually interact. despite its huge cast, Yellowstone doesn't yet feel incoherent or like it's jumped the shark in its first season bc it's really successful at getting its huge cast to have unexpected interactions with each other. this sounds a little bit like praising it for knowing how to be good television, but this is a neowestern about a land grab that's also a familial dynasty drama that's really leaning into the familial dynasty part of it. it would be very easy for this to become incoherent or bad at switching between storylines, but so far it's really good at it. it's not beamsaber or black sails bc nothing will ever be beamsaber or black sails but it's really scratching that itch of many small rapidly shifting factions and rapidly shifting political goals bc each child is their own horrible little faction and they have a lot of time where they're trapped in cars or helicopters together getting around their ranch, which is simply too large.

we're trying to watch the yellowstone franchise in release order, and the yellowstone prequel with tim mcgraw came out between the first and second seasons. we will not be continuing this. this is a bog standard wagon train western. cripplingly boring after the brazen insanity of the first season. also i think it is in poor taste at best and irresponsible at worst to show a suicide on screen.

i said i don't know why i'm watching this but i do know why i'm watching yellowstone, and that's bc my bestie keeps seeing tiktoks about it. sometimes im influenced in real life

playing

changed my sheets this week and didn't chortle at the TOP OR BOTTOM tag which is how i know im having. a brain time. another way you can tell im having a brain time are these screenshots of the Breath of the Wild map. as you may or may not remember from last week, last week i had very little of the map filled out.

now is this EXPLORED? good heavens no. i have under 40 shrines DISCOVERED. i have simply beelined to each tower and went VERY fast. or was very sneaky. the three towers i have not bothered to climb yet are the ones i would have to actually fight some guys about. fuck the akkala tower for real.

i love to accidentally get way too close to dragons and die. some fun things about this run: incredibly, exceptionally rainy. except for the stint in the literal desert and the five minutes in the snowfield it has been raining about 70% of the time, which has made climbing very annoying. another fun thing about this run: exceptionally low ancient shaft drop rate, which makes getting ancient arrows to safely kill guardians from afar very difficult. bc as discussed above i have optimized this little blond boy to be very fast and very sneaky to get up the towers very quickly in the two minute spans of time it is not raining.

another fun thing about this run: not very good at successfully spitting out riders next to horses. you can only see the tip of spinch's hat bc he is underground.

i have unlocked the elephant and the falcon, i haven't gotten much farther than finding painkillers for the goron boss and stalled out at the yiga clan stealth mission. bc despite liking being a sneaky fast sniper out in the world, i fucking hate an enforced stealth mission. i don't think i ever got past this part in my other run either.

not jacked enough to unlock the master sword, i think you need twelve hearts? i would rather have more stamina so i can get faster horses + the princess's horse.

after i unlocked a bunch of towers i spent a goofy amount of time in the Lake Floria system herself hunting for treasure chests (there are easily fifty chests in the water. wild) to get the 10k rupees to unlock the last great fairy. i also spent several real-life hours video game mining video game ore. this was deeply annoying bc i sold off all my gems to get 10k rupees and then had nothing to get those sweet sweet high level upgrades with. this was the point on sunday night where i realized i was getting irrationally annoyed with a game that is supposed to be fun, and is NOT meant to support the kind of grinding i was doing. that was enough video game for one day thank you.

did you know there's a korok in the shrine of resurrection? me either.

also did you know magnesis ACTIVATES on the windmills in Hebra but i can't figure out how to get close enough to any of them to do anything about it. annoying.

this has got to be so funny from ganons point of view. i unlocked the elephant and the falcon in under a week of in-game time and then spent several in-game months mining and collecting clothes. would that make ganon more or less anxious d'you think

making

cross stitch update. this confetti in the rover square. i am dying. here’s what it will look like finished, and a link to buy the pattern

i had such high hopes for pin stitches as a thread finishing method but i had to rip out a mistake near a pin stitch and accidentally ripped out the entire pin and single confetti cross stitch. so what the fuck. i am an insane woman who likes to fully submerge and lightly hand wash projects before they get framed to remove all the oils (yes i wash my hands before stitching, i do get paranoid) and i am not confident pin stitches will hold up to that. oh well. the loop method is pretty great in halving the number of ends i have to weave in, even though i feel like it is extremely wasteful and leaves me with lots of short useless lengths my cats would love to eat. so the gains from halving thread management are really not offset by the meticulous cat management i must embark upon every time i do my fun relaxing hobby.

and the back, which is a horror. and will only become more of a horror. but once this is framed no one will actually see it so it's FINE. i am FINE with this. i started this knowing there was going to be lots of confetti. that's the point of this masochistic pattern

i wrote the first chapter of this fic last summer and outlined the emotional beats (but not much else) while procrastinating moving and have finally lightly polished the first chapter and threw it on the archive. im trying to let things molder less and just fucking post them in the hopes this activates the writing part of my brain again but who could say what's going on up there. this is still something that hasn't quite returned to me post-covid round 2

this will eventually be an E-rated 5+1 fic fixing all the fucking bullshit around Cait Fallout4's companion quest. she will NOT go in the magic chair that tortures her into not being a junkie and being the perfect waifu. she is going to stumble backwards and accidentally into some harm reduction and get railed by a mean top. the mean top and the harm reduction won't fix her but they certainly won't hurt.

#being unemployed is great for the amount of Stuff in these posts even though it is very bad for all other aspects of my life #tuesday again #tuesday again no problem

27 notes · View notes

juni-ravenhall · 3 months

Text

updated these since the old ones were from 2020. not much is different, erased with white a bunch of options to make it easier to look at for me, changed some minor numbers that dont rly matter bc its not that easy to put those numbers down anyway.

some talk thats mostly about their relation to me and stuff about me instead of stuff about them below ⬇ (actually i should fill one of those out for me myself too. that could be fun)

i adjusted junis brother a bit focusing on just how hes like at the moment of having been rescued to jorvik, rather than thinking about his potential "real personality" if he was able to heal and become a more developed person instead of just full of trauma. i do want to eventually do something with the concept of what if he healed, or what if he hadnt been abandoned in pandoria to begin with? if hes intj like me (his behaviour is based on how i am when im completely broken down, which sadly has happened a lot in my life) then what would it be like to see him healthy and happy? its stuff id like to think about more eventually

also filled in that juni is enfj. back then i wasnt so sure what parts of her were different than me, over time i developed it and she really clearly became enfj. we both share high Ni aka my dominant function as intj but her dom Fe plays into the whole constantly being in contact w ppl thing - im also very caring and loyal, and i genuinely want to save everyone on earth and want everyone to be healthy and happy. i want society to be fixed (and ive got the ideas) and i want ppl to be kind and loving to each other. me and juni share that. but for me, i cant really handle talking to normies much bc their reality is just too different than mine. juni has no problem socialising with anyone, even if she ofc also has ppl shes the closest to and others who she might not get along with as much, its still easy for her bc Fe just has that harmonising feelings thing with others that i dont have (and being a dominant extrovert function, and not being ND, shes also not as exhausted by socialisation).

for me with low Fi i just dont really get much out of socialising for socialisations sake. its part of why i cant handle being on discord servers and stuff like that. i dont "vibe" with people in that way, i want to actually have interesting and intimate conversations and learn more about my friends, their backstory, their problems (can i help them?), their deep and genuine feelings (not stemming from copying others and peer pressure, group-think is extremely irrelevant to me and i dont view people differently if theyre supposedly in-group or out-group - im interested in everyone as an individual). for my whole life ive just been too different and for many reasons not been part of normie's society, so its just really alien to talk to normies. (as in, the abuse and isolation, the disability, the ptsd and depression, the queerness, and also just being intj, not really having a normal brain. i often wonder if the ppl who say bad things about mbti - besides the obvious "job and school mbti use is bad" yeah it is - have known what its like to just not be able to relate to almost anyone around you ever when it comes to personality. even online, even in a nerdy group, even in a place with ND people, even with queer people, even with disabled people, youre still different. you still cant relate. for me, finding out that im just a weird personality type was really important, and then i was able to study other ppl's personality types and now i actually get why people behave the way they do and why society functions the way it does for better or worse. which is a great thing to understand imo. the "omg mbti bad bc jobs and school and the tests are dumb" is one thing, but studying the functions and really truly diving into how other people function and how theyre different from you and how you all work and how the human history of the world has happened, is beautiful to me.)

as a low Fi person, with a focus on 1-on-1 connection rather than groups, i focus on talking intensely to the beloved weirdos on my computer, or posting my rambles and reading you guys rambles in return. u guys prob dont even realise, but for a lot of u, i remember like... u posting about ur job or school one time. what u posted about that u wanted to do or what ur upset about. i think about what ur ocs symbolise, why u write them that way, what part of ur personality and your lived experience, your feelings, makes u project this or that on characters. i think that a lot of ppl treat social media as a more shallow and "a drop in the ocean" type of thing, but for me, even ppl ive not talked to much on my dash, if youve been my mutual for some time, i think about you and remember things about you. if you post music i listen to it both to see if i might like the song but also bc im interested in what you like. i like learning things about people around me, the same way i like learning things about the world in general and spend obscene amounts of time studying and analysing the world both in its current and past. its an intj thing because its about my dominant Ni function, which loves analysing patterns and taking in information to process. but i dont mean that in a cold way, its an intimacy and friendship to me to learn things about you and understand you. not to "vibe" but to really know someone and see the puzzle pieces of their life. im very much about all the puzzle pieces that makes you You. im not saying its wrong to vibe and chill instead of analysing your mutuals like puzzles, just that this is something thats very different from how i am, and its been hard for me in life to relate to the way most people are.

idk if anyones reading this but some of you also prob noticed that i will pop out of nowhere and talk to you about some random thing you posted thats interesting to me, or send you a message of support if youre going through hard times. i remember when you posted that you were really sad and i notice that youre having a hard time when you post that youre sad again a month later. idk, its hard for me because im not always very emotional in a way that other people understand. i can come off as cold or quiet which in turn can come off as disinterested. but i just wanted to write it somewhere, to put out into the cosmos, that actually i care a lot about the little creatures on my dashboard and i hope that you notice even if my personality and behaviour is a bit different than what people are used to. people project mean things on me sometimes because im confident, for example, or because i stand up against things i think are harmful. because im not "loyal" if i tell a friend that theyre being rude, or im "rude" if im saying capitalism is bad. i can be projected as controlling (telling people "no" when theyre mean) or self-important (being confident in my skills and analysis) and other negative traits which is really unfair to do to someone just bc theyre different. to me i view everyone equally and i will tell off a friend if i have to, without meaning anything unkind by it. idk. ill stop rambling now bc its too much again (high Te will also do that) but i just have feelings and thoughts about that my beloved mutuals dont even know that theyre beloved and that my way of expressing myself is weird and its hard to live in society based around ppl who are very different than me in many ways. but learning mbti / jung functions was really great for me to feel understood and to understand others.

14 notes · View notes

chaotic-orphan · 12 days

Note

I’m not the person you asked the question to, but for your question about Ambroise and Kit and gay subtext, I’d say that there’s certainly something there that I see why people would feel it, but personally I see more of a sibling relationship.

I think that it wouldn’t be weird if the story were to be an enemies to lovers, as the building blocks would be there, but it wouldn’t be weird for it to be an enemies to siblings. It depends on where you choose to take it next.

I see it more as siblings mainly because I’ve always read the story with a large age gap between the two. Ambroise feels significantly older than Kit, an so I never saw it as lovers because of that perspective. But, I don’t think that was ever explicitly mentioned, nor I don’t know if that was ever your intention. So it could’ve been a personal interpretation.

I hoped this helped!

P. S. I really love your writing so much. You’re honestly an incredible writer and your style is so beautiful. I always look forward to reading your work :)

YESSSS @mossy-tables SIBLING RELATIONSHIP👏👏👏 HARD AGREEEEEEEE XD

I see the potential for enemies to lovers too, like it is such a valid direction for the story, esp with that chapter where Ambrose is using his tie to strangle Kit, but my dumbass honestly saw that as the *most* sibling-esque kind of fight [now in hindsight after reading over it again, I see the enemies to lovers thing too] — but debasing Kit like a dog, making him crawl and then going frenzied and just looking at Kit fighting back like: “are you actually this clinically stupid?! Like you have objectively no chance of winning” but does that stop siblings fighting? Never. But I am delighted that some kind of sibling energy shined through a little in the story :D

I also think the age gap between Ambrose and Kit is significant, though I don’t think I ever said it — actually I think I made their age gap quite small which doesn’t make sense because Ambrose has his entire career all sorted out and so does his friends which would make him actually, closer to Jude’s age, around his thirties while Kit is in his early twenties and still trying to figure life out.

P.S. thank you so much for sharing your insights and your too-kind words, I think I may just explode into confetti right now 🎊 genuinely thank you🫶 also!! I amended the age gap bc of you to make it make more sense so thank you🫰

P.P.S Personal familial anecdote — not at all important to the discussion — below cut 😏😏😏 just my personal exp of sibling energy

Now, this could also just be my crazy family, but I feel like we’re normal enough, like when I was a kid I was very energetic and my brother(who was older by like 7 years) would literally just put his hand on my head and push me away and let me tire myself out, but then, what happens when I learned how to evade that move? He SAT on me and still I went to claw at him, bite him, punch him, kick him (this was all in the name of play-wrestling and who was the strongest sibling — which, in hindsight, we had a lot of competitions of who was the strongest, fastest, funniest, smartest, wittiest, favourite sibling contests when we were growing up ((out of sheer boredom (but I blame wii sports for the will to win imbedded within us against each other)) and there is a disbelief of “why the fuck are you still being hyper when you’re clearly not moving until I say you can, idiot?”

Long story short, Mam had to tell my older brother and sister to stop playing with me because they were the ones getting hurt😎 humble brag, don’t mind me, hold your applause

#intoxicating fear discussion #this becoming the most #intense siblings or dating problem #i have ever seen #XD #i really love hearing your thoughts #and ideas #and interpretations #it’s so interesting #it’s so helpful #and insightful #i am so happy sibling energy showed a little #that was the intention #but I completely agree #that the potential for both is there

12 notes · View notes

spearxwind · 1 year

Note

not to sound weird but what was that work you put in to get where you are 🙏 i want to improve my life so bad but have no clue where to start. even a general gist of things

You dont sound weird! I think it's commendable to want to change your life for the better, and I want to help in any way I can :D

This is also my own perspective but I think a lot of it could be universally applied if you look at it through different lenses of ppls different situations. This also got rly long so I'm putting it under a readmore ^^;

So I had pretty much been isolating myself with increasing ferocity for years until recently. Even when trying to reach out to people I was extremely closed off, keeping my feelings behind many walls and chains always. A lot of my hard work has come from undoing all of that fuckup. I put all my eggs into my online friendships (and even then had a hard time with them).

My behavior was a cluster of personal garbage, learned mannerisms from keeping bad company, and hardwired reactions to specific behaviors. It's something pretty hurtful to realize when you do realize it, but that doesn't mean that you are a bad person or a failure or anything like that. It just means that you have certain bare minimum survival behaviors that worked before but now are only doing you damage, and you have to learn to undo them. (which is a great step!!)

Which brings me to what I have (painfully) learned over the past several years: the basis to any and every good relationship, romantic, platonic, family, or anything is crystal clear communication. Straight up for the love of god communication skills will save your life time and time and time again

And also like I said in earlier posts the solution to wanting to be more social is just BEING more social. This is arguably extremely hard, especially after years of "if they want me around they'll ask me" and always waiting to be invited but not wanting to bother anyone by asking if you can join NO!!!!!!!! GET THAT SHIT OUT OF YOUR BRAIN EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY!!!!! It really does NOT work that way at all. People will invite you to things if they see you express interest in them. The same way that in your head you think 'theyll invite me if they want me to go' if they dont see you express interest people will think you dont want to join. If you go someplace and just stay recluse because youre shy they likely will also think "theyre probably not comfortable or dont want to be here, so we wont force them". People are inherently kind and they are definitely NOT thinking about shunting you on purpose (and I am speaking this, genuinely, from personal experience)

While I was studying my major I got close to a group of people and thought of them as my friend group, but they always seemed cold to me, and I rarely got invited to hangouts because they seemed closer among themselves so I ended up always thinking that they didn't really want me around, and created all of these assumptions in my mind about them or what they thought of me.

Years later, recently, I found one of them again just... randomly while walking through the street and we started talking. And in my much better state of mind I asked about this whole thing because I wanted to know how the rest of the group was doing (I care very much for them still) and he revealed to me that THEY were the ones who thought I was shutting myself off of the group bc I didnt wanna be close to them. Which just blew my mind but it made a lot of sense and explained a lot. I was always on my phone too, talking with my internet friends (because it was my comfort zone), so what they'd assumed was that I already had a friend group that I was invested in and so I wasnt going to prioritize them. SO basically this whole thing ended up being resolved with clear communication and would have been solved much earlier if I had just spoken up about it and gotten braver (though my mental state did not let me at the time)

Anytime you are making up assumptions and ultimatums in your mind without communicating them to the other party you should stop and very much go and speak out loud to the other party (or parties) it will genuinely do you good cause huge as hell brain snowballs do nothing but drown you in your own mind.

Also on the being social front, if you dont have the practice in then it will be hard but a lot of it is very much "fake it till you make it" and I genuinely cannot recommend that enough. Inject yourself into conversations and places and act like yourself unapologetically because the secret isnt to craft a persona that you think people will like, its just being yourself and finding people who will love you for who you are. And like I said I just got invested in other ppls plans and asked to be able to go to places, and oftentimes just by expressing interest i got invited "oh I love this show very much!!" "well we have a plan to watch it at my pals house do you wanna come?" "we were planning on going to X place this week" "omg that sounds so cool can I come with" "of course!" Generally people will respond with "the more the merrier" so please dont be afraid to ask. And even if you get a rejection or two it's fine, don't let it discourage you. Some plans are simply not meant to be, and that's totally fine too!

Something else I worked for was reestablishing contact with old highschool friends I'd lost and I missed terribly. I went out of my way to find them again (old phone numbers, old emails, old instagram accounts that hadnt posted since 2019), and I found them!

And most of them really missed me too and were absolutely thrilled I contacted them again, we picked up right where we left off eight years prior. With a lot to catch up to but its genuinely so nice to have them in my life rather than just melancholically thinking about them and wondering if they hated me or anything. Turns out that they had also thought to contact me as well or had tried and lost my phone, or some of them even thought that it was better to leave things as they were to not "stir up shit" so we were all stuck in the same loop of insane thinking without actually confirming it until one of us (me in this case) finally broke the ice (and it took a damn long time too)

The thing is, people are just like you. We all have our own mental nonsense to fight, and we all have our assumptions and propensity to think ourselves into the grave, that's why its so so so so important to communicate things as clearly and as often as possible. Bearing your suffering alone will only make you miserable in the end, and your circle is there to help you

As a last note, I do want to say I have been incredibly lucky, because the friend group I've been adopted into I have met through that one friend from uni that I just HAPPENED to find on the street. I could have not waved him over on the street and just kept walking with my music on and ignored him. I could have said 'no' to his offer to get dinner that day if I'd wanted to be home earlier. I could have never spoken up about liking eurovision and never gotten invited to the hangout where I met my bf. And none of this would have ever happened at all. But that just strengthens my advice of "just say yes and reach out of your comfort zone" because you never know where it's going to lead you!

All this to say:

Communicate clearly with your peers to reduce misunderstandings. More likely than not they'll be in the same boat as you are. (Also extra note. Communication works BOTH WAYS. It needs to come from both parties. It is also a skill you have to nurture and hone!!)

Be kind!! and be loving!! and be yourself unapologetically!!

reach out to people the same way that you'd want to be reached out to. It sucks that sometimes (even often) you have to be the one to do it, but you eventually reap what you sow and people will learn that they can reach out to YOU

People will respond in kind to you being nice to them and a positive energy in their life. Some people will take advantage of it yes, thats just how things are, and its something you have to learn to recognize but you should never let that steel your heart. It is so so so important to remain kind and loving the world needs it so much. We're all out here trying to make our own lives and our loved ones lives a little bit brighter <3

#ask #anon #advice #this is so long and again it is from my perspective but this is what I have done so I am really hoping it helps you #im wishing u the best of luck anon i hope you are able to better your life significantly <3 #please feel free to keep me posted on your progress whenever you make any. be that in a few months or a few years

51 notes · View notes

aachria · 2 months

Note

AACHRIA.

WHAT.

WDYM ACE WAS STILL KIDNAPPED AND TAKEN AND MIGHT DIE.

☹️

im in so much agony.

what the hell man ☹️

ALSO SABO (semi, he never got clarification 💀) KNOWING LUFFY AND ED ARE MARRIED LETS GOOOO 🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥🔥⁉️⁉️⁉️

SABO AND ED DYNAMIC IM IN LOVE.

imma be so fr i understood maybe half the plan. like i got it, i kinda know whats happening, but thats only for phase one..... phase two and three im so fucking lost they both said sm and i felt my mind explode. i forgot to read half the sentences and my mind was so blown i just decided to not go back and read them even though they will probably fix me and make me realize exactly whats going on LMAO

i once again request a 10k chapter, although still no threats bc im scared of my weird dream curse 💔 which i still have..... its better tho- its evolved into tumblr becoming a weird celestial being because when it said ur discontinuing ur fic as an ad and caused chaos people ended up worshipping tumblr to try and get you to keep writing ur fic- so no longer a nightmare just a really weird dream.... 😭

UR SO AWESOME, AND SO COOL, AND I LOVED THIS CHAPTER, I READ IT INSIDE THE MOVIE THEATER FOR THE DEADPOOL AND WOLVERINE MOVIE BC I COULDNT WAIT (10/10 movie btw) UR FIC IS AMAZING 100000/10 MAKE ME SOB NEXT CHAPTER 💞💞

Teehee. Be so honest with me did you think I would just leave that prime angst real estate unpoked?

Poor Sabo will get real answers one day. Hopefully. He was so damn much fun to write I just love him. Him and Ed are the two smartest people you know who also happen to be the most unstable and likely to cause an international incident by being a lil silly and goofy.

That plan... oh that plan. Writing that plan was fun and I got very carried away. I was terribly proud of myself for remembering half the shit in there before I had to pull up the wiki, and the Enies Lobby bit will be my smartest move until the next time I do something remotely smart.

Baby I'm going to hold your hand as I say this because I am being so for real, at this point if you are still having this dream every night you need to genuinely consider seeking professional help. That's not normal or healthy. Talk to a therapist or guidance councilor or something.

I hope to god you mean before the movie started or when it was done because if you had your phone out while that movie was playing I will be very disappointed. I wanted to go see it this week with my mom but it didn't end up happening ✊😔 I did rewatch both Top Gun movies though. Love those.

#sssbmty #one piece #one piece ocs #with all the love in my heart please talk to someone with a license because this is getting ridiculous #also stop telling me to write 10k you shit I'm trying to NOT get carried away over here

17 notes · View notes

cryptid-on-a-string · 2 months

Note

not so unpopular opinion but spirit phone is one of the WEAKEST lemon demon albums. yeah it has excellent sound quality and u can see how neil have improved as an artist compared to older albums (this is why it's so good received by most critics), i won't lie, but it critically lacks that charm of, for example, clown circus, lfthcs, httjb, damn skippy and as well as his deporitaz/trapezoid era music. sp lacks that quirkness. i can see how neil wanted to focus on more serious topics (which his older works also had, like in dinosaurchestra and some songs from httjb too!) and i can't shame him for it. it's just doesn't work properly with spirit phone. it needs some more silly stuff too!! sp needs more meaningless, weird and obscure (do y'all even remember mold en mono?) lyrics and calling cabinet man peak of ld's weirdness is a blatant spit in the face. sprit phone is just soulless, lacking individuality of older lemon demon, for what it was so beloved.

While I somewhat agree that spirit phone has come to be overplayed and too focused-on by now, I definitely don’t think it is weak, uncreative, or anything close to soulless at all. It just happened to be the one album that became the most popular one. (I blame tiktok personally, but it could be a number of other factors, I might be biased bc I just hate tiktok and I am quick to blame it for stuff idk)

Sure, it dabbles with more serious tones than many of his other songs, but personally I think that just makes it more special in a way, and it’s fun to see Neil’s songwriting skills evolve over time, since the album took quite a few years to make. I can see where you’re coming from, saying how it needs more silly stuff like all the previous albums, however that might take away from what makes Spirit Phone so much different from all of Neil’s other works. It’s what makes SP an original and creative addition to the discography, so to say.

Spirit Phone taking itself more seriously is what makes it so outstanding, because Neil hadn’t yet done anything quite like it before.

As for the content of the songs themselves, I can kind of see what you’re getting at when you say the older albums have a little more strange content, but I still think Spirit Phone hold up pretty well in the creativity department! It’s got ghosts, (a recurring motif, with the repeating white/noise ghost sound effects sprinkled in between some of the songs), eldritch beings, corpse mellification, a death/rebirth storyline, and general unexplained mysteries, all tied together through abundant synths and overall 80’s aura to it all. All the songs still pull through nicely with their unusual motifs and intriguing narratives. Although the amount of Lemon Demon’s trademark wackiness isn’t quite as condensed in this album as the others, (with more serious tracks such as As Your Father, I Earn My Life, and Spiral of Ants), there is definitely still enough of it to make it fit in the previous albums, and enough serious content to make it stand out from the rest!

Don’t get me wrong, the other Lemon Demon albums are quite amazing and dear to me too! (Damn Skippy stands out as one of my favorites myself) but I also acknowledge how much care and thought was put into the originality of Spirit Phone. Sure, it might have come to be overplayed and memed to death by the internet after all these years, but it is still deserving of praise and genuine appreciation. I personally think it has earned its title as one of the most beloved Lemon Demon albums.

#Lemon demon #Neil cicierega

7 notes · View notes

krash-and-co · 6 months

Note

wdym by the infantilisation of george? genuinely asking as I haven't rlly seen that myself ahah but could you elaborate/give some examples?

note: I edited this ask after posting bc i wasnt done and also didn't say stuff entirely the way I meant lmao. I probably got redundant but idek what I wrote anymore, also there's a tldr at the end.

oh hey !! yeah, something ive seen are karim's (specifically this version) autistic traits and how they were portrayed in his fanon. some people either reduce him to or focus his character heavily on his 'cute' or 'childish' autistic traits, and this kind of becomes his main identity. he's autistic, and his childishness is pounced on and multiplied by fandom, because they want him to be cute like autistics are. he's autistic, and therefore vulnerable and dependent. a baby, not as capable as Lucy and Lockwood, which is nowhere near true. see the problem? /gen not only is it an unrealistic depiction of autism, but it can make people uncomfortable and be harmful.

I will mention this is an unfortunately common thing both in general fandom and irl, not something I expect one post to change. I am just sharing thoughts here :] but anyways lol

yes we as autistics can be childish. yes it may even be cute to you. yes we may feel childish ourselves, comfortably so, and that's totally fine. but it's when our whole being is warped into that one stereotype it becomes a problem. it's when people forget the rest about us, and we're your fandom vessel for angst and fluff where cute tiktok autism is our whole personality and we're not really a person anymore but a little pet people coo over. objecitified. people want to embrace these 'dependant' characters and they mean well, but the treatment of autistic traits can be.... uncomfortable. because, I mean, where does that leave you if you share these same traits? you likely don't want to be treated in such a way; you know you aren't some child to be coddled. but these characters are, and it feels wrong.

in good portrayals of autism and its acceptance, we can have all our autistic traits-- yes even the cute ones you want to baby us over, and yes even the weird and negative ones youd rather ignore, and still be treated as an equal, like george is. we wont be coddled more than a neurotypical, not treated as lesser in maturity or awareness, or shoved in a box. lockwood and co is like that to George, which is wonderful. as is most of the fandom, which is even better.

however I have seen this in fics and hc posts most notably, and it's a glaring contrast compared to the most works, and I do wonder if others have noticed and it leaves them with a funny taste in their mouth too.

not to get all preachy on this fine Wednesday at 2 in the morning, though.

tl;dr: reducing an autistic person to vulnerability and a childish nature, with malevolent intentions or not, is harmful. george is capable and badass !!! and honestly? it makes me as an autistic uncomfortable, seeing people with my traits treated like that over them by fandom, even though they mean well. balance is key. not being a total freak over our cutie patootie autistic faces is also. <- /hj /silly

obligatory end message where I mention again this isn't something horribly common in this fandom around my side of tumblr, at least, but I have seen it and wanted to ask if 1) y'all noticed it with George too and 2) share thoughts lol

ty for the ask, always happy to clarify my posts for y'all !! :]

#actually autistic #Lockwood and co #lockwood and co netflix #George Karim #also I say much of this from experience #unfortunately lol

17 notes · View notes

leohttbriar · 1 year

Note

I would have loved to see Jadzia central episodes after she got together with Worf, and ones that's didn't focus on their relationship only. There was so much more to her before and then it seemed like being very immersed in everything Klingon was one of her very few traits.

yes--I absolutely agree. probably not the first to say it. she becomes this quirky, hot sidekick/girlfriend in season 5. how they wrote worf and dax getting together was cute and "screwball comedy" but they sort of tried to keep up that energy but not as successfully (screwball banter is cute only when both parties are getting jabs in equally, and dax seems to just smile like worf is being cute when he accuses her being ridiculous all the time)(like i said, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't)(it's just when it doesn't, worf comes across as annoying and dax comes off as Not a person). she's around quite a bit, offering her quips and support and playing her role in other people's journey's...

but episodes that are about her and depend on some issue she has within herself are not present after the romance. not like "rejoined" or the episode where she's being accused of murder bc of curzon. of course, of the episodes that are about her in previous seasons, all of them except "rejoined," arguably, are about her struggling with some past self. while i think the character can go beyond that simple sci-fi-what-if design (like, for example, i think spock goes beyond the alien-conceit in most of the spock-centric episodes), i found myself missing even that watching everything after she and worf get together. if they had even drawn out that romance and showed her genuinely trying to get worf's attention for more than one or two episodes, that would've been more interesting then what ended up happening.

i also sort of get that ds9 isn't so much the "new world" part of star trek as the "new civilization"---that is, it's mostly focused on ongoing diplomacy and war plots with the same handful of richly made-up peoples. but they managed in previous seasons to still write episodes about discovery and scientific work. in season 5, scientific work all seems to be focused on julian, due to the exigency of his role, rather than dax, or both of them. like, within the typical star trek roles to play, the science officer drives the fun discovery and new-weird-stuff plots. instead of episodes about any of that in season 5, though, there's a lot of quark and odo and sisko and julian and worf all juggling their various definitions of identity. (miraculously, dax never seems to waver in that regard. with kira, it's debateable.) which. fine. it was all interesting.

i do think that the show still manages to show dax as someone particular and complex--the writing just doesn't genuinely explore any of it after writing the worf/dax relationship. the moments she does have in episodes not about her are for the most part very good and very interesting and she provides context and wisdom and motive in the way her role dictates. but the fact that i think her character is so fascinating and has so many rich options for sci-fi storytelling only makes the absence of stories focused or driven by her all the more frustrating to me. there's only so many episodes about odo's feelings i can retain interest in.

maybe give jadzia a planet to explore with a bunch of geode formations that emit a protein that causes mutations within biological creatures to cease which somehow causes changelings to crystallize while the protein is in their system and jadzia has to fight on behalf of the planet to just exist so it's not turned into a super-weapon against the dominion and this turns into a struggle with basically her and julian against everyone (they're the most idealistic) and causes real tension between kira and dax for the first time ever and sisko has to say something about how life is sacred and resources are sacred and one has to choose and then dax does something that can't be taken back and the creatures give her a small geode/collection-of-geode-creatures in thanks and she carries it around like she carries all her past-selves.

(which would then justify the way worf constantly seems to characterize her as impulsive and impractical or whatever. bc she did this one dramatic thing that no one can now forget about her. and she just takes it bc she would do it again. and the audience just doesn't know who to agree with.)(but that would make her person with deep conviction and interiority and some perhaps truly un-likeable traits. instead of the hot, smirky-quirky jester that gets men 18-24 to tune the fuck in once a week.)

#i did just watch children of time though and if there is a dax-centric episode this season that's it (loved it)#even if the resolution of the plot is determined by odo and not her (i still loved that episode)#ds9 #star trek #jadzia dax #obviously i'm just going to have to finish my stranded on a planet kiradax fic #be the change you want to see in the world etc.

27 notes · View notes

limeade-l3sbian · 5 months

Note

i’m not so much talking about whether you would like it or not, but rather: do you see yourself as a person who needs romantic companionship in your life eventually? obviously you won’t disintegrate without, but i’m talking needing as in for your psychological and physical well-being in the long run.

i’ve come to realize i cannot relate to this and people who aren’t able to go without being in a relationship are to me so strange, even though that honestly seems to be the norm. i don’t even want a romantic relationship. not to say i would be against falling in love and all that but i don’t dream of it and i certainly don’t crave it. i’m curious how you are in this regard? obviously i don’t know you, but you strike me a someone who functions well alone too.

i get that wanting romance is normal in theory but i don’t understand why.

there’s lots of other things i totally get the need for, but this and sex are two things that are on the same spectrum of inconsequential to me. that’s also why i’ll never be able to rightfully contribute to the celibate convo that’s been going on in radfem spaces in regards to heterosexual women, because even though i’m not asexual, i genuinely don’t get the big deal of living without romance and sex. people will say it’s unfair to ask that of anyone and i’ll think it probably IS for the average person, but to me it still seems totally unrelatable to not be able to live full lives without it. this isn’t a convo of to be or not to be celebate btw, i’m just adding it as an example of when this feeling of not needing romance has really shown it’s face in my life and hindered my, i guess, empathy? and that’s why i never join that convo bc i can see i’m the odd one out.

it’s honestly so embarrassing to an extent. i wish more people spoke of this but when i’ve tried to speak of it in some contexts elsewhere, i immediately get labeled all these different things like “aromantic” and “asexual” and i’m just not. i’m not against romance. it’s not that i can’t feel it. same with attraction and such. but it’s really easy to ignore for me, like no biggie. there’s so many other bigger more important emotions and experiences in my eyes. almost everyone wants romance and partnership but to me it just seems kinda tiring and risky. like why risk my peace for a thing that does in most cases end by breaking up for whatever reasons? it’s not me being scared of it but i don’t see the point of the effort i guess..

friendships i get and they are important to me. i don’t see them as replacements or anything for romance. i just value those more and i think they seem more genuine to me? i’m not in a situation where i couldn’t find safe partners bc i am bisexual with mainly attraction to women but even then i still have no desperation for love like that. if it happens, that’s cool but i’ve come to realize that if i don’t actively seek it out it’s pretty easy to go through your life without any romantic relationships in peace. obviously the same maybe can’t be said for ultra attractive people but for mediocre folks like myself, life is pretty peaceful in that regard unless i actively tried to put myself out there which i won’t lol.

it’s not like i hate seeing romantic stuff. movies or books with romantic plots can be super cute and enjoyable for me but i don’t crave those things in my life even. when i see it. i don’t sigh after it. it’s like seeing a video of someone trying bungeejumping. it looks fun and cool but i wouldn’t go out of my way to seek the experience out because my life is fine without it.

am i totally alone in this feeling i wonder

I think in recent years there has been a weird push for romantic relationships and what the "best version" of them looks like. And, to be honest, your assumption is correct.

I think I cared in high school I got swept up in wanting to date because teenage romance seemed so romantic to me. But now, as an adult, I feel no intense need to be with someone. I'm not asexual and I'm not opposed to love or sex, like you said. I just...don't care? I just care about having people in my life who I care about and who care about me.

And with the asexual thing. In an increasingly hypersexual world, I think people are quick to "other" those of us who just don't really care. So if you don't crave love and need sex, you must be asexual. Which is...false, on a lot of levels.

To be honest, this whole reply could just be me restating, "Like you said" lmao. You and I have a pretty mutual feeling about the whole thing. I'm at peace with the state of my social life. I don't feel any pressure to be married or to date or whatever. When it happens, it happens, and I go for it. But when things don't work out? I mean, that's just life, I feel like.

#ask

7 notes · View notes