#which is truly the only way to get past these attachment issues

[florelia12]

So I’ve been thinking a lot about avoidant attachment styles since I’ve discovered I fall under that category like our beloved Helia hence an essay on his avoidant attachment style:

Its no secret that i love the comics and the Helia arc in The Trial comics. I think what I love about that comic is how florelia’s relationship is developed and depicted.

So, one of the characteristic of an avoidant is deciding to end a relationship without really communicating why. Helia did that to Flora after deciding that she deserved better than how he treated her, and that he wasn’t good enough for her or for red fountain. He decided for the both of them that this wasn’t going to work out because he’s not good enough. Flora didn’t get to have a say or to even confirm whether that was true because he just waltzed right out of there and cut contact.

So, he leaves and like decides to not contact anyone. After a few days of crying, Flora managed to contact him…He starts by saying that he doesn’t want to talk but she cuts him off and says I get it if you don’t want to be around me right now. “I accept that even if i don’t understand.”

When she offers her help to find him a place to stay, it was her offering the help without any strings. Which was why he took it (he was also kinda desperate). After he says yes, she even says okay thats it you can hang up if you want without forcing him to talk about whats wrong.

Then its Helia who speaks up and says hey this is kind of why im behaving this way. She senses an opening and tries asking if they can fix things. He’s not ready yet and so he says no, which she respects and hangs up the phone.

Flora then finds him once he’s settled down. Now, this could have been a manipulative move. Her taking advantage of the fact that he had no choice but to take up the rental room that she found for him so that she can force him out of his self-imposed exile and force a conversation.

However, when Helia tries to apologise because its the decent thing to do, Flora stops him and says he doesn’t have to talk about it if he doesn’t want to. She recognises his need for space right but also knows that he needs a friend right now. So, she offers exactly that and Helia accepts it.

This may seem contradictory since why is he accepting help when he’s an avoidant who’s hyper independent and wants to be able to meet his own needs. But, the reason people become avoidant is because at some crucial point in their life, their emotional needs weren’t met and the only way they could receive that was by seeking it out themselves, something that requires a lot of energy that unfortunately ends up with them not having any energy left to help meet someone else’s needs.

But, what Flora did was meet his needs while letting him know she didn’t expect anything in return. This takes a weight off his shoulders, and he feels secure enough with her promises to accept her help. Because right now, there is no expectation on him that he needs to meet which is the exact thing he ‘ran’ away (expectations he’s worried he can’t fulfil).

Then they’re okay for a while, and they can go on dealing with the matters at hand which is fixing up his apartment.

After a while, when things are going okay and he feels safe and secure. Helia opens up to her. They communicate. She understands.

Then comes the moment that didn’t really sit well with me at first but now I kind of understand.

At first I felt like why is she asking him about their relationship when he’s clearly going through hell about something else, isn’t that a little selfish when she said she’s okay if they don’t talk about it?

But, then I realised that Helia’s needs were met when Flora gave him the space he needed and accepted and understood him.

Right now…She’s asking for reassurance. She feels secure enough with him to ask for reassurance because she needs it right now.

This expectation, its a normal reaction. Its not her asking for something unreasonable. Even the way she phrases it is, do you want to end things? Is this what you need?

Not, oh lets get back together or why did you do that to me. Not blaming him for his actions. ( She even said she forgave him ). Not victimising herself.

Since Helia’s needs were met and he feels secure enough right now, he was able to meet her needs and so he offers her the reassurance she needed.

Which was this iconic moment…

I almost forgot the important part but when conflict strikes again…

Helia receives sus information about Flora and is struggling to figure out whether to believe it or not. Because he’s been tricked once, and now its happening again? Is he gullible? Is he the problem? He’s not good enough is he? A good specialist won’t fall for tricks so easily, right?

Flora senses the struggles and approaches, she’s panicky so she kind of starts seeking reassurance like what’s wrong? What’s going on? Talk to me!

This time he doesn’t walk away, he doesn’t avoid. He feels safe. He knows he can trust her because she’s proven that he is safe with her. He can trust his own instincts. Even if he was gullible, he made a mistake and trusted the wrong thing again, he knows he can communicate it with Flora because he feels safe enough to do it.

He reassures her that he trusts her. Then, they solve the problem. Together.

I just absolutely love this entire arc because its a realistic and somewhat healthy way of being in a relationship with someone who has an avoidant attachment style.

I’ve been seeing alot about this avoidant/attachment style and majority of it just straight up villainises the avoidant. I even saw someone say that “anxious people are expected to accommodate avoidants but avoidants aren’t really expected to accommodate for the anxious partner.” Which will always be true in some cases but is not what the general avoidant or anxious attachment style actually needs.

Its not exactly space that the avoidant needs (thats the coping mechanism), its safety and security. Just like someone with an anxious attachment style. Seeking reassurance is their coping mechanism, the solution is the safety and security that is offered. Accommodating someone’s coping mechanism is never a long-term solution, only healing can give you the peace you need.

Now, i did use to think that Flora had an anxious attachment style but I think she’s more secure. Like she needs reassurance, she struggles with her insecurities. But, you don’t really see her actively seeking it out very often. She understands most of the time when people want to be left alone. While she might struggle to give herself the reassurance she needs, she understands when someone else can’t give it to her at that moment.

Is she avoidant, on the other hand…i might have to sit on that a little but I’d love to know if anyone has any thoughts on that:)

This whole thing is so hard to navigate but people can sure learn a thing or two from fictional characters.

[cosmicconversations]

12th House Placements and Past Life Baggage

Sun in the 12th House: Sudden or overwhelming fame/acclaim/notoriety, which instilled within them a fear of being truly seen or known. Or a fear of letting praise and glory go to their head. Overly attached to past life identities or achievements. A need to recapture those experiences somehow. Yet, this can give them an unsettled or unstable idea of who they really are. A past life with their dad where he failed to give them attention or approval or validation.

Moon in the 12th House: Abandonment or neglect during childhood in a past life. Makes them determined to take care of themselves now so they’re not helpless again. Possibly losing a child or enduring a tough marriage for a child’s sake, which can instill a lot of anxiety about parenthood. Still holding on to feelings of grief or fear or loneliness from a previous life. A past life with their mother figure where either she was a struggling or neglectful mom or she was a vulnerable child and they were her parent.

Mercury in the 12th House: Issues with schooling or teachers or peers at school. Made to either feel stupid or pressured to excel academically in a past life. Has created current fears around communication and intelligence. May have had a learning disability. Easily triggered by or very sensitive to criticism. Still dealing with the impact of the naysayers or people who mocked them in their past life and may meet these souls again in the present.

Venus in the 12th House: A divorce or major heartbreak that crushed their spirit. Subjected to a lot of infidelity or abuse in a marriage or long relationship in a past life. Suffers from deep issues trusting, committing or receiving healthy love in the present, as a result. Re-experiencing romantic connections from their past life, either as a hard lesson or an opportunity for happiness. Was either made to feel unattractive and undesirable or was only valued for their looks and their allure.

Mars in the 12th House: Might have fought in some kind of war or served in the military in some way. Unresolved post-traumatic stress from that past life experience makes them shy away from any sort of “battle” now. Or they are so able to get cutthroat that it scares them and they suppress it. Afraid of the possible damage they could do when they fight back. Possibly endured a brutal assault or attack that makes it easy now for them to feel victimized.

Jupiter in the 12th House: Experiences traveling or living abroad that were traumatic or motivated by trauma. Could have fled their country or culture in a past life to seek more freedom or opportunity. In this life, they fear being seen as a “traitor” to where they come from. Or not being accepted by other cultures. Enjoyed a very abundant, easy, carefree life. Might have been particularly wealthy. But, this and the envy it attracted gave them a deep guilt regarding their success and a resistance to prosperity that they struggle with currently.

Saturn in the 12th House: An ancient soul who has lived many, many lifetimes. They are still very attached to difficulties from those lives and it can weigh them down, particularly when they’re very young. Either occupied a position of great power, influence and recognition or had the potential to and fell short. Possibly both, in different lives. This has instilled a very deep fear of both failure and success, making them overly hard on themselves. Might have felt the weight of everyone’s judgment and a need to always have it together. If and when they let others down who counted on them, they couldn’t forgive themselves. A past life or more with their father figure, in which he was either an overly strict, cold patriarch or a very irresponsible or disappointing dad with a weak character.

Uranus in the 12th House: Harshly punished or ostracized in a past life for breaking the rules. This could mean social conventions and norms or engaging in illegal behavior. As a result, they currently have both an attraction to and fear of going against the grain. They might have been freedom fighters who were shunned or arrested/imprisoned for a righteous cause. Now, they seek out a certain kind of “trouble” because they feel it’s justified. On the flip side, they may have settled for a very traditional life, repressing their true nature to do so.

Neptune in the 12th House: A total immersion in spiritual matters, possibly to the degree that it isolated them from worldly concerns or mainstream society altogether. Some of them even took a vow as monks or nuns. In this present life, they find it very hard to adjust to everyday living and the harsh, secular nature of society. Isolating becomes a crutch. Their psychic powers and sensitivities were overly active in past lives and they may have been guides, healers or spiritual teachers. Their intuition remains very powerful yet they also easily get drained or overwhelmed by various energies. Also, they are magnets for very wounded or low-vibrational people.

Pluto in the 12th House: Those within their community demonized or villainized this person, to the point where their safety may have been at risk. Many of them had a magical or spiritual practice that subjected them to baseless, cruel or even violent persecution. As a result, that feeling of being a target of a “witch hunt” continues today. Like they can’t escape the harsh mob mentality. Some of them suppress their darkness in order to avoid this. They may have been in the midst of some sort of plague or famine where people were constantly dying around them. The unresolved grief can carry over into this life, where they may also be confronted with numerous losses.

North Node in the 12th House: There was something crucially important that they didn’t learn in previous lives. It is unavoidable even if they try to run from it. It’s like they keep repeating the same grade in school. A sense that others are growing and leaving them behind could haunt them as they get older. Pivotal people from their previous lives will show up in this life as powerful teachers and catalysts for their growth, whether they like it or not. Their late 30’s/early 40’s and beyond can offer them the chance to redeem their past mistakes. If not, they’ll suffer for it. Simultaneously clings to and tries to run from past experiences.

[fabled-fiction]

Maybe a Hobie Brown x Mabel-Pines-Type!Reader? Older obviously, with just like, her personality and fashion sense? A Chaotic Sunshine meets Chaotic Rebel type thing.

If not interested, just ignore. But I look forward to whatever you write!

Starstruck (Hobie Brown x Fem!Sunshine!Reader)

Summary: You’re Jess Drew’s gal in the chair (in training), and when you have to make a quick trip the spider society you happen to catch a certain punk’s eye.

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: MINOR SPIDERMAN ACROSS THE SPIDERVERSE SPOILERS, use of (Y/N)

A/N: I hope this meets your expectations!! I had alot of fun writing this!

EARTH-1618

KINGS, NEW YORK CITY

Your desk was more glitter than wood at this point.

It was hard to tell where the stickers stopped and where the wood of your desk started.

Especially now, as you squeezed glue on top of whatever artpiece you were currently working on. An array of different paint tubes and what looked like glitter bombs were spread about your work area, dangerously close to what looked like very expensive monitors and pcs. Though it was kind of hard to tell based on all the string worms and star stickers pasted on any surface that wasn’t a screen.

The project, which could only be identified as an oversized button pin upon closer inspection, was coming together nicely. Atleast in your eyes.

It read “BEST SPIDER” with a cute doddle of a spider surrounded by loads of blue, yellow, and red glitter. Currently you were putting your finishing touches on it by attaching color coordinated ribbons to the bottom ruffles.

The craftsmanship alone of it was indeed impressive, you just needed to look past the blinding reflectiveness of it.

It was for your mentor, Spiderwoman.

Who had taken you under her wing for the past two years, “training” you to be the best. Well, best in the sense of “gal in the chair”. At first it didn't make a whole lot of sense to you, but neither did the world you were thrown into. She apparently saw something in you from all the way across the multiverse.

The rest was history.

“(Y-)..(Y/N)...(Y/N)!”

The glue bottle currently in your hands spun in the air, a chaotically beautiful cascade of glue spewing in the air and (thankfully) somehow none of it landed on you. Slowly turning your head, you gave a small wave as you saw said mentor on the screen staring down at you.

“Jess! Hey…did you..did you try calling my watch?”

“What do you think?”

Spinning your chair across the room, you snatched your multiversal watch and flicked the screen on.

You did in fact have about five missed calls from her. You could feel her iced stare from across the room, hell from across dimensions.

“But it was getting in the way of my creative liberties!”

“I don’t care! As the second half of a spider person you need to be available 24/7! Your future spider will need to be able to rely on you.”

Slipping the watch onto your wrist, you shot yourself back over to your desk and smiled widely at her. She knew that whatever scolding she gave you would only have about a few moments effect. Sure the message would stick but she always had that nagging feeling in the back of her mind of how long it truly stuck.

“Well, You have me on the horn now! What's up? Who do I need to aid with my technological wonders? My sleuthing skills? I'm ready to Sherlock it up!”

After a few more long blank faced seconds, Jess reached up to pinch the bridge of her nose.

“We actually need you here. Our resident Spider who usually deals with all of our technological deals is having some connectivity issues.”

Your heart stopped for a moment, but only for a moment before you were shooting out of your seat and whooping. Jumping around your room, you threw your fist in the air before a sudden realization dawned upon you mid air.

It was almost comical how you seemed to pause mid jump.

“Oh my god…I have to change. I can't show up to Spider Society looking like this!”

“(Y/N) there's no time! Grab your bag and get here now.”

Standing in shock, you huffed as you watched your computer screen clip off.

She was crazy if she thought you weren’t at least gonna put on some body glitter.

-

“Jess said to meet her here…do you think she got lost?”

Hobie shrugged, shoving his hands into his vest pockets. His fingers found themselves fiddling with whatever computer chip or part he had nabbed as he leaned against what could be considered a front desk.

“You know ‘er best. She usually punctual?”

Gwen looked up from her watch with an exasperated look. That told Hobie all he needed to know as he leaned his head back with a sigh.

“Listen! I've never met her in person! She’s one of Jess’s other trainees! I just know she's not a spider, and that despite having worked with Jess for two plus years she's never stepped foot in Spider Society!”

“She’s a chair?”

Pinching her nose, Gwen nodded. “Yea. A pretty good one too. She is a bit…eccentric though. And loud…I think she blew my eardrum out one time. I had tinnitus for like a week...”

“So she’s got some vocals on ‘er aye?”

“Thats all you picked up on? C’mon Hobie help me look for anyone who looks lost we’re supposed to chaperon h-”

Usually the portals that opened here were the usual semi-chaotic reality altering ones. But for some reason the one that just opened in front of them was nothing of the sort. No..this one opened with a loud tear; Everything and everyone in the vicinity was enveloped in a neon pink hue.

It was hard to tell who came stumbling out of the portal, as Hobie feared that if he moved his hand he would temporarily blind himself. But as the portal closed, and everything returned to its normal color palette, he finally dared to move his hand.

Maybe he shouldn’t have moved his hand.

Cause he was only met with a very different, blinding sight.

You had just fully stood from what he could only assume was a clumsy entrance. You wore what could only be described as almost every color of the rainbow but someone you pulled it off. There was absolutely no way you could move silently, as you were adorned in a plethora of kandi bracelets, pastel chains and pins. Your hair was adorned in a multitude of clips that matched the ones on your bag. 

Was your smile an accessory too? Hobie was sure it was, cause it was blinding him just as much as the body glitter that was spread over your legs and arms were.

His hand slowly reached up to clutch the chest of his jacket, in hopes that it would remind his heart to beat.

It wasn’t until Gwen had elbowed him in the side (hard enough to bruise might he add) that he remembered to breathe.

“Don’t stare, it's rude.”

He didn’t want to look away.

“Hi! Im Gwen…Stacy! We’ve talked a few times over coms?”

You smiled even wider as you grabbed Gwen’s hand and shook it rather violently (or enthusiastically it could have been confused for either). When she removed her hands from your drip it was left brighter than before for only a moment.

“Hi! Its nice to finally put a non-masked face to the name! Im (Y/N). And you are?”

Your sneakers squeaked as you took a sharp turn to face Hobie fully.

“Im Hobie Brown. Quiet the entrance you made.”

He holds his hand out, and is relieved when you shake it for just as long as you did Gwen’s. He watches as it glowed then returned to its normal saturation.

“Yeaaaa. Apparently my Earth is like WAY brighter than most. I would’ve brought sunglasses if I had known that would happen. Anyways…can you show me to the computer lab..hub…wherever this Spider-Byte normally operates?”

Gwen had taken it upon herself to lead the charge, and include a quick run over tour of whatever facility you all happened to pass on the way to the lab. 

Everything was so bright, but what amazed you more were the amount of Spider people that were just casually walking about. Either they were coming back from patrol, returning from break or coming for the first time.

You were sure your neck was gonna hurt or have a permanent crook in it from how much you were whipping your head around and turning to take everything in. You weren’t sure when the next time you would be here would be, so you wanted to take it all in.

“And here is where all the computer magic happens! You uh…know what you’ve gotta do from here right?” Gwen awkwardly raised her hands as if to present the lab.

“Yup! Im TECHNICALLY supposed to monitor your guys software and stuff and blah blah blah but I actually connected with Layla on the way here-who is super sweet by the way-and Im actually just gonna fix Spider-Byte’s connectivity issues here so she can get back to it. Y’know since she’s more knowledgeable with everything here. I would probably just mess something up.”

Despite the fact that you spoke about a mile a minute, and it was obvious Gwen was struggling to keep up, Hobie hung onto every word.

You moved like you had been here before despite this being your first time even stepping foot on the premises. You just moved with this sense of self confidence that had the aura of the room commanded by your presence alone. If you hadn’t told them your Earth just naturally saturated Hobie would have just assumed your essence was just too potent that it leaked off you and onto whatever you touched.

You were leagues above him when it came to the coolness factor.

Watching as you moved around the consoles via spinny chair (when did that get there?), each screen popped up and immediately began to run code. Hobie liked to pride himself on being a tech wiz, but this was levels beyond what he knew how to do. Maybe he could learn a thing or two from you.

But as he watched your hands, he noticed…were you TAKING code off the computers too?

Oh, that just brought a smile to his face.

As Gwen wandered over to the other side of the console to watch the miles of code run across the screen, Hobie took the opportunity to have a moment with you on the opposite side of the room.

Right when you went to shoot across him (and might he add it was almost like you had spider like reflexes with how you moved around on this thing), his hand went to grab the back of your chair.

Pulling the chair back, he watched as you rubber banded back into the seat and stood straight up. He leaned over your shoulder to look at the screen in front of you both. His hand reached over to tap a few keys and pull up the results onto just this screen.

Ignoring how his spider senses were shooting down his spine at an all time high with how close he was to you, he looked at you with a smirk.

“Did you just ‘alf inch some of our code?”

“Im sorry?”

Leaning in closer, he pulled the thumb drive out of only this terminal and held it up. Your cheeks turned a dark red in realization to being caught, and you crossed your arm as you started at him.

“You know wha’ I said”

Turning quickly, you pulled ANOTHER flash drive out from your pocket and stuck it into the port. The downloading resumed, and much to Hobie’s surprise you stood and snatched the thumb drive from him.

“First of all, I am part of the ‘’our’’ and second of all…it's none of your business.”

Suddenly multiple of the screens, well practically all of the screens in the room flashed green. With a pat of his shoulder, you rolled over to every computer and pulled out each flashdrive. Hobie counted…12!

He covered his mouth, trying to keep his cool disposition as he watched you quickly shove each one in your bag. You little grifter you…he would definitely have to find out what Earth you were from…

With the push of a button, you turned to them with a smile as you placed your hands on your hips.

“Alrighty! My work here is done…wait..,”

Turning around, you pressed the enter key on the computer behind you only to whip right back around smile as all the screens returned to normal.

You had been here all but twenty minutes and you managed to do solve all of their problems and then some.

“Now Im done! Gwen, you have my contact coordinate. Call me if you need me at all.”

Your eyes raked over Hobie, and you couldn’t help but feel a flutter in your chest as he watched you carefully. The hair on your arms stood when he had leaned over you earlier. You could tell from his punk aesthetic and impressive hair that he was definitely anarchy incarnate…

He intrigued you. You were sure the data files you had picked up from the archives would barely answer every question you had about him.

You would have to push off your paper mache project for tonight…

“It was nice meeting you Hobie! Hope we can meet again sometime. Im like, basically free all the time…Later!”

Signing off with a peace sign, your neon portal opened again and closed in an instant as you fell into it.

“See what I mean, eccentric.”

“I thought she was pretty cool.”

Walking over to where you just stood, Hobie ran his fingers over where you had last touched hoping to catch some of the light leftover.

It was then he noticed you had left behind one of your thumb drives. It was definitely yours, a bright neon yellow covered in white glitter that fell off as he picked it up. His other hand came down to pick up the tag on the string connected to it.

‘Oops! Guess I left behind this VERY important thumb drive. Mind returning it to me? I like really need it for super duper important chair stuff…Earth 1618, Kings, New York City things y'know.

– (Y/N)’

[tojifile]

@Muzan Kibutsuji . . . (＾＾＃)

Tags: husband!muzan, emotionally dependent reader, f!reader, violence, suggestive, manipulation, muzan is taller than you, mansplaining if you squint, huge daddy issues, toxic relationship

A/N: Thinking about husband!muzan and his wife who’s emotionally dependent on him. She’s a huge crybaby but Muzan loves how dependent she is on him. He loves the dominance he has over her. THIS IS FOR WOMEN WITH DADDY ISSUES WHO WANT TO BE TAKEN CARE OF IN THE MOST TOXIC WAY IMAGINABLE. The relationship and everything is super toxic but I love those and honestly, red flags get me going! (I am a bad example of what you should do with your life, do not copy) Merry Christmas Eve to my ho ho hos! 🎄

p.s. an anon just requested for a Muzan’s wife runs away after finding out so that may be after this, just know that I love toxic relationships with guys like Muzan :)

husband!muzan who only goes out at night. He tells you he has a skin condition that started when he was a kid. There was no known cure, so his “company” constantly tries to find information on possible cures for people with the same disease.

husband!muzan who seemed like the perfect partner, dotting on you, always buying you gifts. He’d buy you things that reminds him of you which made you all the more attached. You loved his attention and how he constantly babies you.

husband!muzan who you caught consuming a woman during a stroll. It was already past 7PM but you decided to go out for a walk. Everything was good, the streets were bustling with different kinds of people, all smiling and happy—that was until you got to a rather secluded area.

You heard loud cries coming from a narrow alley. The screams lured you in. At the back of the alley was where you saw your husband—Muzan Kibutsuji, devouring a helpless young woman. He immediately sensed your presence and turned around.

He swiftly got in front of you and covered your mouth with his palm. “Hello, my love, I trust you enjoyed your evening stroll?” He spoke, his voice dripping with an eerie yet sweet, confusing feeling. You only looked at him with teary eyes in response.

husband!muzan who tries to reason with you but he didn’t even need to say anything. You still wanted him.

Such a shame that you had to find out about his secret, “Kibutsuji-kun..” was all you could mutter after he removed his palm from your mouth. You then started to cry in his arms as he caressed your hair, calming you down. God, he was so sweet towards you.

A few lines of blood dripped down the corners of his mouth. He looked down at you with a soft smile on his face. His suit and pants were stained with the blood of his victim but that didn’t bother him.

Most—no, all of his past wives would’ve been crying and yelling about how much of a liar and monster he is and/or running away. But here you were in his arms, you cried because you didn’t know how to react. You were scared that he’d leave you because you found out his secret.

husband!muzan who is happy to know that you’ve truly submitted yourself to him. He loves the feeling of being in control. It was adorable, the way you melted into his arms, even after you saw him consuming another human being.

husband!muzan who promises to never hurt nor leave you. He just loved controlling you a bit too much. It got him excited, knowing that he comes home to such a cute little human wife who he doesn’t have to hide his true form from.

husband!muzan who then escorts you home while holding you by the waist. Telling you about how you shouldn’t go out at night without him. He doesn’t want other demons to mistake you for a lowly human.

husband!muzan who was just really turned on by the events. As soon as you got home he had you on the bed, kissing you softly. He didn’t even have to use force with you. You were just so happy to submit to the man who gave you affection.

husband!muzan who sometimes lets his fangs sink in your skin. Just for you to tremble and whimper under his touch. He loved it when you would cling onto him and he loves the little noises you’d make whether it be from pain or pleasure.

husband!muzan who tells himself that he’s only staying with you and treating you like this because you’re a valuable asset, one that could keep his facade going.

husband!muzan who slowly submits to your affection genuinely, especially after that night.

husband!muzan who always makes you feel safe and taken care of. He might be the demon king but he can’t let his wife be let down. Muzan Kibutsuji was too much of a loving husband to let that happen.

husband!muzan who treats you like a child that needs to be guided. He can’t have you forming your own thoughts now, right? That would corrupt your innocent little mind. He couldn’t let you turn against him now that he was so attached to you.

husband!muzan who loves to pamper you like a little doll. He loves the idea of using you over and over. Although he doesn’t understand why he’s so attached to you, he just lets it happen. You were still a benefit to him anyway.

And finally.. husband!muzan who has you numb every time he’s had a bad night. Getting you to do nasty things with him, knowing you���re always so needy for his attention.

Comment 🪩 to be on my taglist !

[barrenclan]

Cormorantpaw with Pinepaw especially gives me,, a lot of disorganized attachment style vibes,,

Sorry about the big block of text this site explains it better than I ever could:

"The disorganized attachment style is believed to be a consequence of childhood trauma or abuse. Perceived fear is the central aspect of its development.

The survival of the infant/child depends on the caregivers. The child knows that subconsciously, so he or she seeks safety in the caregivers. A problem arises when the source of safety becomes a source of fear.

If the caregivers show highly contrasting behavior, which is inconsistent and unpredictable, the child can start fearing his or her own safety.

The child does not know what to expect. Nor does the child know when the caregiver will meet their needs, if at all.

The child no longer trusts the caregiver. The child realizes that they cannot rely on caregivers to meet their physical or emotional needs. The caregivers, who should be acting as a source of safety, are not only unreliable, but they are also causing fear.

Children with a disorganized attachment style are not able to truly adapt to the caregivers’ behavior, as they never know what comes next.

Such children lack coherence in their own behavior towards the caregivers: they might seek closeness, but at the same time, reject the caregivers’ proximity and distance themselves, due to fear.

Adults with a disorganized attachment style lack a coherent approach towards relationships. On the one hand, they want to belong. They want to love and be loved.

While on the other hand, they are afraid to let anyone in. They have a strong fear that the people who are closest to them will hurt them.

Adults with a disorganized attachment style fear intimacy and avoid proximity. The main difference for disorganized adults is that they want relationships.

They do not reject emotional intimacy; they are simply afraid of it. Adults with a disorganized attachment style continue to view the attachment figure (once, their caregiver, and now, their partner) as unpredictable.

They have trouble believing that their partner will love and support them as they are. These adults expect and are waiting for the rejection, disappointment, and hurt to come. In their perception, it is inevitable.

This mindset can turn into a form of self-sabotage, causing the disorganized adult to end a relationship prematurely.

It might also be a type of self-fulfilling prophecy. So, the disorganized adult expects and predicts that they will be rejected by their partner. Even when there are no such signs, he or she starts behaving in a way that leads to fulfilling the expectations (the end of the relationship).”

I hadn't heard of this before, but it looks like it describes a lot of Cormorantpaw's issues very well. Let's hope he can get past it.

[lyramundana]

No feelings involved...right?

Prologue and Part 1

Warnings❗: Implied baby trapping, dubious consent. It all happens at the end.

If their current predicament could be resumed in one sentence, it'll sound like a mother's voice saying "I told you so".

They didn't plan it. It all started with a small mishap, a consequence of their exhaustion and the amount of issues going on in their personal lives. Then the mishap repeated itself, and then they decided to turn it into a game for their own pleasure, no strings attached to her. Then the game grew beyond their control and became a mountain of lies, too big to seize them.

Jisung first met her through a friend of his, and although he found her beautiful then, she didn't catch his attention beyond that. They met frecuently, since they both ran in the same circle of friends, and after one night being left alone by their drunk friends, they spent the time talking and turned out they had more in common that he thought. They clicked, in a way it's hard to explain, but just felt like he knew her since forever. They went from mere acquaintances to suddenly having her name appear at the top of his contact list along with Minho's.

Minho met her through his boyfriend, of course. He first saw her when Jisung brought her home to hang out, without even warning him about it. Their introduction was pretty formal, quick. They shook hands, made some small talk and Jisung inmediatly stole her attention again. Minho wasn't interested in befriending her and viceversa, but Jisung was their common point and she eventually became a regular presence in their apartment, so they really had no option but get along. Forced proximity and all.

Jisung has always known a lot of people, plenty of familiar faces that tend to flock towards him wherever he goes, but few of them can say they truly know him. Jisung cracks jokes, plays long with them, but rarely speaks about himself. He keeps a careful, calculated distance, because he knows that despite all those smiles and compliments, they only see the surface, what they want to see, and don't care about the rest. Which it's okay, it comes with the job, and this facade actually helps to keep undesirable people away without being rude. But she...she's different. From the moment she spoke to him and he listened, he found there was more to her than what she showed. Like him, she never allowed people to see beyond the surface, simply letting them believe the version they liked to spare herself the headaches. She understood him. And for the first time in years, Jisung felt a genuine connection to someone besides Minho.

The funny thing is that they don't talk that much, outside those events where the whole group meets and they stick together to not get bored. And when they get to talk, it's mostly about stuff only they know and deep, phylosophical converstations where they discuss the meanings of life. Maybe, if he's in a certain mood, he complains about a recent argument with Minho and asks for advice, but that's not the norm with them. When he brings her home is to get drunk over petty drama and gossip, without the others. They just fall back in the comfortability of a quiet friendship where no small talks were needed and they could simply let go of their masks.

Things between Minho and her weren't ideal at first. The few times they interacted was when she was at their flat, usually drunk and leaving a mess, and he got mad at it. He could look past it when it was Jisung, but having a stranger doing it was something else. He made sure of letting her know after the drunk haze, barely holding back the bite in his words. He expected her to get offended or feel embarrassed, but no. She never showed an ounce of shame, instead replying him with the same snarky tones, and sometimes that small lopsided grin of hers that made his blood boil. But what started as mostly petty arguments and cold greetings turned into a sense of complicity when they realized their humour was similar and they both acted like Jisung's babysitters more often than not.

Minho is used to be misunderstood. His resting bitch face, his brutal honesty, his reserved demeanour and that perpetual indifference in his face that rarely expressed emotions. People were quick to form opinions about him and not all were good. He was considered cold, arrogant, a snob that didn't like to mingle with those he saw "beneath him", you get it. Most wondered how someone so sweet and cheerful as Jisung could fall for him. It's okay for Minho, he doesn't see the point in caring for what strangers may think. The people he loves know him for who he is and that's enough. Then she came, all carefree and playful and open-minded. Jisung only spoke good things about her, but Minho knew his boy could be biased. Until they started talking and he found out she was truly different. She wasn't intimidated by him, even though he pulled the worst of him sometimes with her around, but she never reacted on it. She was quick to stand up against him, all prideful and confident. And her lack of respect felt like a wheeze of fresh air. After being constantly misjudged, it felt nice to have someone apart from Jisung that made an effort to see through his facade.

Before they noticed it, she became a constant in their lives. Even if they didn't meet often, even if the phone calls sometimes got short, she was present and they felt it. Whenever they needed a favour, she was the safest option. When something juicy happened, she was the first person they called. Even when their fights got brutal and they had no one to seek advice from, her door appeared in front of their eyes.

She never turned down, although her complaints were very much heard. She acted as a bridge between them both when they refused to take the initiative, pushing them to apologise and communicate their problems and feelings. Minho was stubborn, but Jisung could easily win him at times, and persuade them to move past it was a pain. Nevertheless, she did it every single time, to the point the walls of her house and the natural scent that filled it became so familiar to them.

They genuinely don't know when things started to change. They talked it before and both agreed she was beautiful, easy to the eyes, but nothing more. Sure, she was a vital part of their lives now but that's all they wanted her to be. At least that's what they told themselves until that night behind that club, when they tasted her for the first time and found the missing piece they had been bothering them for so long. That annoying empty space in their sex life that have appeared coincidentally shortly after meeting her..

Of course, things couldn't be the same after that mindblowing experience, not like they wanted it to either. They planned the whole affair while she slept in their arms, dead to the world. It was easy to convince her, with her body still vibrating by the last events and her mind still waking up. Granted that wasn't exactly correct from their parts, but they were slightly desperate and the idea of letting her go after that sounded awfully wrong.

And so that was the start of their downfall.

Looking back, they asked for it. At first it was all very natural. They were still friends but now they also fucked sometimes. She was open to every kink and preference of theirs, and she also introduced them to her own tastes. No commitment, no explanations expected or needed. But when their encounters became more often it got harder to stay away from her, they had her sign an NDA to continue. Which was..okay, not something they accounted for but it wasn't necessarily a problem.

No, the problems started when their feelings began to get in the way of the commitment-free arrangement they wanted.

Their doll was a gorgeous creature, a delightful sight for sore eyes, and they knew it. She was like this when they met her and they had no problem with it, Jisung even admired it and made jokes about it, about how ridiculous easy those idiots fell for her charms, scrambling on their feet to get an ounce of her attention. But at some point, seeing such scenes evoked less amusement and more disgust. And following disgust, there was something else. Something twisted and painful and deadly that climbed to their throats when another worthless scum tried his luck with her. Minho could heard this tempting voice in his head telling him to rip their guts out and Jisung imagined a number of creative scenarios where he taught that bastard a lesson.

Sometimes, those voices told them to grab their precious doll and drag her away from those dirty hands, keep her near where they couldn't lose her, which was weird because she meant nothing to them. Just a close acquaintance they casually fucked from time to time very often. And yet...

These sudden, strange emotions were translated in their bed.

The sex with her was always rough and fast, and the only aftercare that ocurred was sharing a smoke in bed over some small talk. But suddenly, it wasn't enough. Their usual routine felt short, uncomplete, unsatisfying. The mouths started to trace her face, her body, the marks they left on her. Their movements turned slower, more gentle, more precise. They wanted to see how it was when she burst in pleasure, when she gave herself up entirely in their arms. They kissed, caressed, worshipped the entirety of her skin, and they whispered words of praise in her ears for the duration of it. And when it was done, they needed wanted her close, lulling her into sleep as their arms trapped her against them.

"You're doing so, so well, doll. Can you give us one more, please? You look lovely like this."

"Look at you, already crying and shaking. Shh, it's okay, love, we got you. Leave it to us, okay'"

But when they couldn't stand that twisted feeling in their guts, after seeing some other clown trying to steal her away, both men turned animalistic on her. They were all confused at this change, and the two of them couldn't explain where did it came from. They just felt the urgent need to cover her in bites, scratches and hickeys, in every place where those undeserving eyes feasted upon. ¿How dare those assholes? ¿Didn't they know she was with them? ¿Had they no shame? ¿Did they really think they stood a chance?

"That's it, keep looking at us, slut. That's where your eyes should always be. ¿What the fuck were you thinking, uh?"

"¿You wanted him to fuck you too? Is that it? You greedy whore. Clearly we need to fuck you more. We'll make sure you can't even talk or walk without our help."

And it didn't end just there. They started to bring her to their dates, inviting her everywhere they went, giving her their clothes. They had love-hate feelings towards her revealing dresses, because as much as they enjoyed the view, they hated seeing others do the same. She became part of their routine, outside the sex part. She was always there. And as time passed, it felt like she had been there since the beginning. They hardly remembered how things were before she came.

But they kept lying to themselves, lying to everyone. This wasn't anything. They could stop whenever they wanted to. There no other feelings involved. Of course not.

And things finally went downhill when someone asked them:

"So, that girl that's always with you two, what's the deal with her? Is there something serious going on? Because you have to introduce her to us, then."

That question struck them. Brutally.

They never thought too much about it. Things with her just...happened naturally, and they barely noticed it. They simply followed their instincts at the time, not realizing the weight those actions could hold. ¿What was the deal with her, truly? Granted, she was more than just a quick fuck, but still. And what was up with them? Why the fuck did they want to meet her? She was perfectly fine where she was.

At the end of the day, the three of them moved in different worlds. There were things about themselves they couldn't tell her, things she would never understand. Maybe that was better, they thought. To keep her away from that circus of drama and lies and dirty secrets they were part of. She didn't belong there. And to keep her far away from idiots butting their noses where they shouldn't.

So they quickly defused the situation. She was just an acquaintance, they didn't really know her, yeah. They already had each other, it had always been just each other. She meant nothing.

If she did, where did that leave them?

¿Were they supposed to know someone was going to post their answer on social media? Were they supposed to know she would see it and demand explanations too?

Yes

They never saw her so angry, so emotional. She was bursting in anger and sadness and dissapointment, and they could both feel how their hearts stopped at the sight. It didn't feel right.

When she started to speak, they sort of panicked. They couldn't control the situation this time, they couldn't control her, and they didn't have proper answers for it. At least, not the kind of answers that would help them.

Most of all, they were confused. As she confronted them with facts, about how their strange behaviour with her and their motivations, they were forced to acknowledge the reality of everything.

That she meant more than they thought. Way more than they wanted her to. It was a liability. A problem. An unexpected turn of events they weren't prepared for.

And because they weren't prepared, they simply said the words that sounded logical at the moment. Cold statements of what they all knew, of what they agreed on the beginning. They didn't truly mean it, as they would realize later, but they felt cornered. And at the moment, the only strenght they could rely on was their pride.

They foolishly thought she would stay after that. That she would see their point of view and calm down.

As expected, she didn't. When it fell on them the terrible error they made, it was late. She left the place. Emptied it of whatever part of her and blocked them from her life.

And as expected, the aftermath was fucking disastrous.

Being deprived so suddenly from her presence after getting used to have her near everyday was hellish. No more calls, no more dates, no more lazy afternoons in the couch. She was gone, leaving a gaping hole in their lives that they couldn't fill, no matter how much they tried. And god knows they did.

No vice or person could replace the feelings she invoked in them.

They turned down invitations, calls of friends, choosing to stay at home and just hang out by themselves. Staying at home too long drove them insane, but going out wasn't much better. She was everywhere. In the streets, in the shops, in the people. It was a nightmare.

When a close friend of theirs invited them to the opening of club, they only accepted in hopes for a distraction, and to keep appareances a bit. But the cold, boring night inmediately acquired a brilliant colour when they saw her.

More beautiful than ever, with her pretty dress and carefully done make-up. Her damned smile brightened the whole club and, for a moment, they felt in peace. Like nothing changed.

Until they saw she wasn't alone. Her warm arms, who used to be held by them, were now occupied by other men. Some they didn't know. A pair of strangers taking their rightful places, and she just laughed and danced with them like it was normal.

They spent the whole night like that, watching her and brooding, with that familiar green boiling in their stomach. She looked gorgeous, out of this world, and it wasn't fucking fair. That should be them. She should have been with them, filling their ears with her cute laugh and letting them wrap their arms over her.

Deep down, they knew they fucked up. It was solely their fault. They had their chance to make her stay, to trap her, and they messed up. ¿Why did things have to be this way? Why did they have to realize the size of their mistake in a moment of jealousy? It was stupid.

When they saw her walking outside alone, they exchanged a glance and they knew it.

They made several mistakes, but they learnt from them. Having her hating them was better than not having her at all, so they followed.

It was so easy to fall back into routine. She was already weakened by their presence, and it was the same for them too. Some yelling here and there, insults being thrown back and forth, a bit of fighting, but they ended up right where they wanted: Locked bathroom, against a wall, and the music covering their moans.

They didn't stop until she was bursting with their cum, pushing it right back inside where a drop ran down her legs. Until there wasn't a single trace of skin unmarked. Until she couldn't fucking walk without their help.

And when few weeks later, she showed up in their apartment with three positive tests, they pretended to be shocked and made her move in with them.

They could already see the picture she would make. It was going to be perfect.

(i had this shit collecting dust in my drafts for a millenia and today i had a strange burst of inspiration to finish it. sorry for the waiting to those who asked for this part)

Taglist: @hanjisunglover @queenmea604 @linlinaert @bluducky @jinnie-ret @aalexyuuuhm @noellllslut @skzms @thightswideforhanin @aliensfoundthisblogl @k-krissten @stayconnecteed @hanjibug @roseykat

[starhvney]

𝐒𝐔𝐁𝐉𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝟑 | 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟏𝟎: 𝐒𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐒 𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐓

𝐂𝐖: very crude language and shit talk from ivy, paranoia, threats of violence, reader nearly spirals into an anxiety attack, implications that reader has anxious attachment tendencies

𝐀/𝐍: hey guys! meant to get this chapter out earlier today but i had too much caffeine and made myself sick oopsies! anyways i hope you guys enjoy this one! we're getting back to that good old drama

𝐖𝐂: 6,000+

𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐓𝐎𝐑: @arienic (thank you nics!)

𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 ☆ 𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓 | 𝐀𝐎𝟑 | 𝐅𝐈𝐂 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐊𝐒

“this is so exciting!” teony grins, clapping her hands from where she stood next to you and katelyn. “i care more about academics than athletics, but i honestly love the sports festival! it’s so much fun!”

you hum happily in agreement, eyes drifting around at the school’s outdoor scenery. honestly, it's insane how beautiful of a spot it was placed in, with phoenix drop’s mountain range and tall forest trees spanning right from the school’s backyard. the whole student body is packed in the area from the soccer field all the way over to the baseball field, everyone in their athletic uniforms and the colorful wristbands that indicated which class they were in.

glancing behind you to check on aph and nana as the little freshman chat away, you catch a glimpse of ivy’s minions and aaron, who is a short way away, talking by the stairs. the tall junior seemed like trouble just from his looks alone—and you were pretty opposed to him already just from aphmau’s complaints of the boy all year—but his seeming compliance with lily’s flirtatious giggling set your opinion in stone.

your attention shifts back to your friends next to you, a sense of comfort relaxing the tenseness that had begun to build just from the glimpse of those people. after talking about everything with aphmau, you both had decided to come clean to all of your friends about the issues you’d had since day one with both ivy and gene.

you’d almost felt silly for hesitating so long to tell them, especially with how defensive and fired up they had gotten. lucinda’s reaction was definitely the funniest, the redhead immediately offering to slip a potion that would make someone throw up slugs into all of their lunches. you’d denied the offer through your laughter, as tempting as it was, and you have to stop yourself from giggling again at the thought of gene or ivy pale in the face and spitting out snail slime.

katelyn snorts, pausing in her warm-up of one-legged squats—an impressive feat you had unashamedly been staring at her do for the past five minutes—to look over to the academia queen herself.

“of course it’s fun!” she energetically hops in place with a fiery and determined look on her face. “i’m gonna own the juniors in volleyball this year.”

teony raises an eyebrow and tosses her hair over her shoulder as she looks at you, lips pursed in amusement. “our class lost to that class when they were sophomores last year.”

you nod in understanding, giggling when katelyn pumps her fist angrily into the air.

“and the only reason we lost to them was because i had won all the events prior,” she defends. “i was completely exhausted from the heat.”

teony’s hands are on her hips, eyebrows raised, and expression like a scolding mother. “so then i hope you learned your lesson for this year, right?”

she scoffs. “oh, i definitely have!”

“good, i’m glad. now you know—”

“i’ve been training all year to carry the team completely on my back.”

teony groans, leaning against you as she rolls her eyes. “kate, sweetie, that is not the lesson! it’s teamwork.”

“uh-huh, yeah that too, whatever,” katelyn responds, and from her distracted expression you’re not even sure she truly heard what had been said. instead, she grabs onto one of your arms and one of teony’s, dragging you both off into the track field. “now let’s go crush some classes!”

“wh-hold on!” teony laughs, turning back to wave at aphmau and nana as they stare at the three of you like abandoned puppies—or in nana’s place, a kitten. “good luck my darlings!”

“i’ll catch you both later! good luck!” you call after the two, sparing a wave as katelyn bulldozes her way through the grass.

she at least also spares one last look over her shoulder, though instead of a shout of encouragement, it’s a competitive laugh and grin. “pray you two don’t have us as an opponent this year. i won't go easy just cause we’re friends!”

teony sighs as the three of you make it closer to your classmates, lolling her head over to give kate an unimpressed stare. “i get your competitive and all, but i don’t think intimidating those two cuties was necessary.”

grabbing a stray volleyball from the ground, she scoffs and rolls her eyes, walking a ways from you both and tossing it up to start preparing. “oh, whatever. they know it’s tough love.”

teony looks to you with a disbelieved shake of her head, giggling at the blue haired girl’s antics.

“you know, you—woah!” she stumbles back, barely receiving the ball that kate had spiked down at her and sending it straight past her legs.

there’s a thunk of ball meeting shoulder and a familiar yelp of pain, before you see travis crumpling down to the grass and dante sprinting off while cackling. 

“what the—?! why were you sitting right behind me, dude?!” katelyn questions, seeming more bewildered than anything.

teony’s eyes drift from the scene ahead to you from the corner of her eye.

“were they…?”

“…i think so…”

“uh, sorry!” travis quickly stutters, stumbling up to his feet and waving his hands with an awkward braced smile. “i was just—dante, don’t leave me!" his voice comically cracks at the end as he sprints after his friend, the two looking like clowns as they run away.

“uh, what’s going on here?” a smooth voice breaks your stunned silence.

“oh, hey garroth. i don’t know, actually.”

the baseball captain is standing right next to you, blinking in confusion between the two boys as they run away and the three of you. he breaks out in an amused little grin at your deadpanned words, scratching the side of his head.

“well, okay then. are you excited to compete?”

you shrug with a nod, looking up at the boy. “sure! gets us out of class, so that’s enough for me. are you?”

“yeah… but i still can’t believe they haven’t set up a baseball portion for this competition.” he sighs. “like, we have kickball, but no baseball? not cool.”

you can’t help but giggle at the dejected look on his face, his love for the sport honestly endearing.

“well, baseball is a hard sport for normies like us to play, you know? gotta leave it up to the professionals like you,” you muse, nudging his side with your elbow.

a cheeky grin forms on his face, and you swear you see the tips of his ears turn a bit red in color. he opens his mouth to reply to your compliment before another loud thud–this time off in the distance–catches both of your attention. a soccer ball is rolling away from aaron, while aph seems to be telling him off with clenched fists. 

“hm?” garroth frowns, and you’re already walking over to the scene.

he catches up just a second after, tilting his head in concern as you both speed-walk over to the girl. you make it to nana first, raising an eyebrow in confusion to the pink-haired meif’wa who stood awkwardly distant from the two. she shrugs at the both of you with a pout on her face before you can even ask, golden irises darting at the taller boy as he seems to mockingly laugh at aphmau while walking away.

garroth shrugs at you before walking forward first, while aph continues to huff with clenched fists and muttering under her breath.

“how dare he just… ugh!”

“aphmau, are you okay?” the blonde asks in concern, and the girl whips herself around, eyes a bit wide in surprise.

“oh, it’s you two, hey,” she says, clearing her throat and fixing her hair with a flustered expression. “um, i’m fine, it’s just…”

“you should stay away from that guy,” garroth says suddenly. “i’ve heard he’s nothing but trouble.”

your eyes stay narrowly trained on the delinquent in question, as he walks through the field towards the concession stand with his hands shoved in his pockets. 

“oh trust me, you don’t need to tell me that twice.” aphmau crosses her arms with a scoff. “he’s in my werewolf class with me, and he’s nothing but a huge jerk.”

garroth nods with an understanding hum, before his eyebrows snot up on his forehead. “wait, you’re a werewolf?!”

aphmau and you glance over to him, before bursting out in giggles.

“oh! no, i’m not! i thought i told you what happened, garroth.”

“huh, laurance reacted just about the same, now that i remember,” you recall, covering your mouth as you recover from the small laughing fit. 

garroth sighs, his deep voice bordering on a whiny tone. “how come you guys always tell laurance everything but never me?” 

aphmau’s eyebrows raise, and she quickly waves her hands. “it’s not that i didn’t want to tell you! it just never came up!”

“yeah, garroth,” you coo, leaning over to wrap an arm around his side and pat him soothingly on the back. “laurance just knows more 'cause he yaps more and asks more questions.”

garroth snorts.

“…don’t tell him i said that.”

“oh, i definitely will.”

aphmau chuckles drily. “so to make a long story short, garroth, my registration was all messed up and i couldn’t change out of the werewolf class even though i didn’t sign up for it and i’m not a werewolf. and i’ve been stuck with sitting next to that aaron jerk all semester.”

he hums, eyebrows furrowed. “oh, i see. well i’m sorry you have to deal with tha—”

“garrith, there you are!” a high-pitched, nasally voice pierces right into your ear from behind you, making you flinch away from the friendly side hug you still had the blonde in.

aphmau stares at you with a tense half smile, eyes darting behind you before you turn yourself. carmine hair bounces against ivy’s shoulders as she tilts her head, giving an—in your opinion—eerily forced smile up at garroth. 

oh, nah. it is 9:30 in the morning.

garroth offers a smile in return, taking a small step back from how close she had bounded up to him. “oh, ivy! it’s good to see you.”

so laurance clearly has not told him yet. 

ivy tilts her head in seemingly innocent wonder. “what’re you doing talking to this freshman?”

and apparently you’re not here. cool.

garroth turns to the two of us, the unaware “prince” gesturing to the girl as she burns holes into our figures with her bright eyes. “have you two met ivy? she’s a friend of mine.”

she quickly latches onto his words, quickly adding on before you or aphmau can open your mouths. “yes, i’ve been his friend since we were freshmen.”

you resist the urge to side-eye aphmau, instead keeping your composure as she speaks up first.

“oh, i see… so you've been friends for a long time, then.”

“yes, we have,” she preens, her smile sharp as she looks between you two with a satisfied twinkle in her eyes.

garroth nods politely. “yeah, ivy’s really sweet.” he looks over to her while gesturing to you. “i’ve been friends with these two since we were little kids.”

it takes everything in you to not smile in your own satisfaction when her eyes just about bulge out of her head for a split second, her smile tensing. “oh, really…! that’s so… cute!”

garroth chuckles. “isn’t it?”

“yeah, isn’t it?” you can’t help but chime in, and ivy’s eyes flock to you with a flare of barely veiled annoyance.

“it sure… is…” she says through gritted teeth.

man, she’s losing it. you’d almost feel second hand embarrassment for her if you weren’t reeling in the satisfaction of it. 

“so! i meant to ask,” aphmau chirps, doing a very good job of ignoring her history with ivy’s wrath. “where’s laurance at?”

“he’s already playing a soccer match. his team went first against… the junior class, i think…”

she blows her bangs away from her face. “oh, so the competition has already started, huh?”

“speaking of which, garrith, we should go warm up! our team is next!” she glances over at you, eyes darting down your figure and back up to your face. “you’re not on our team… are you?”

“…nope.”

“ah, unfortunate. she’s pretty good at sports,” garroth says, throwing a small smile your way. 

“thanks, garroth. i’m sure you guys will do great.”

“okay, come on garrith!”

garroth’s smile falters as he awkwardly looks over to her. “oh, right. but, uh… ivy? it’s pronounced gar-roth.”

“i know, garrith, but we really should go!” she insists, grabbing onto his wrist and tugging him along with her.

he keeps his smile though it falters into an uncomfortable and slightly forced one. letting her guide him along, he looks back at you two with a wave.

“see you both later. good luck.”

“yep! you too!” aphmau grins, and you wave back with a smile yourself.

the two walk off toward the sophomore class’s flag football group.

you look at aphmau.

she looks at you.

“...a mess.”

“for real.” aphmau agrees, sighing and rolling her eyes.

“well, i’m gonna go to the restroom. you up to play?”

“yep, i’m on the team for soccer. what about you?”

“ooh, i bet you’ll crush it. kate’s having me play for the volleyball team. good luck!”

aphmau smiles, waving excitedly. “you too!”

thankfully the school has some restrooms outside, making your walk much shorter. by instinct you walk down to the furthest stall, clicking the door shut. before you could even turn around the door swings open again, ivy’s shrill voice bouncing off the concrete and tiled room.

“who the fuck do those two think they are?!” she snips, her tennis shoes clicking against the floor as she pushes on each stall door to check inside.

“they think they’re hot shit,” a more mellowed voice says. was that lily? or the alex girl that rarely talked…?

ivy’s feet stop just before your stall, spinning around to pace over to the sinks. “i thought i saw her come in here… whatever. i came in here to fix my hair anyways. ugh. i thought i told them to stay away from him! those… whores!”

you suppress the urge to scoff.

“well… you did tell them, and then she gave you a black eye.”

ivy makes a seething noise. “that bitch! she didn’t even show anything! i know i broke her nose!”

“whatever. if gene still has those pictures like he says he does then it doesn’t matter. we can ruin their reputation within a day.”

shit.

this seems to calm her rage. just slightly.

“yeah, that’ll get them away from him. plus if we circulate the other rumors around like we talked about then garrith won’t even want to be near them.”

“oh, yeah. that reminds me… i heard that those two were hanging out with garroth at the fall festival a couple of weekends ago.”

“what?! from who?!”

“gene.”

“there's no way! that's just gene trying to get under my skin! i thought he was on our side!”

“whatever. we just need him to be enough on our side to get those pictures out. and even if he doesn’t, we can still spread rumors.”

“yeah! yeah… i’m sure they sleep around anyways. with how they beg for garrith and that laurance’s attention it’s pretty obvious they want that kind of attention. they’re so pathetic, especially aphmau. that little cunt is just begging for one of them to—”

hell no.

your hand races forward to click open the lock, and you throw open the stall door against the wall. it clangs before creaking and wobbling in the now pin-dropping silence of the bathroom as you slowly walk out of the cubicle. the three girls are standing there, looking a bit shocked and surprised at your appearance.

well, ivy and lily, at least. alex looks as blank-faced as usual.

without a word you walk to the door, eyes glued to ivy’s while you resist the urge to punch out her other eye. cracking open the door you pause, looking back to the girl once again and taking in a rageful breath.

“you better fucking hope i don’t catch you alone, ivy.”

you turn out of the bathroom and slam the door shut, teeth clacking together and fists clenched as you walk towards the temporary volleyball court set up near the soccer field.

damn. you forgot you had to pee.

“woah, you look pissed.”

travis appears by your side, looking genuinely concerned with raised brows and curious eyes.

“kinda hot.” dante appears on your other side, biting his lip and waggling his brows.

the brace-faced boy sends a scorning glare to his friend. “dude, not her!”

“chill! i’m just messing around… sort of. besides, gene’s mentioned her a few times, so i know she’s cool. can’t blame me for shooting my shot.”

you sigh and shake your head, some of the tension leaving your shoulders as you fall victim to the goofy antics of the dorks next to you.

“gene’s mentioned me, huh?” you ask, glancing at dante. “i forgot he’s your brother.”

you press your lips together. that’s right, maria. guess she still thinks you’re “friends” with gene.

he grins. “yeah, he’s pretty cool. he talks about you to my mom sometimes. you both hang out often?”

your eyes dart to travis, who is looking at you nervously.

“…we haven’t lately.”

“oh, that’s too bad, i guess,” dante hums.

“you’re sure you’re not mad? it’s not at me from earlier, right?!” travis worries, cutting off the topic of gene to your relief. 

“huh? no, why would i be?”

he deflates in relief. “uh, nothing! never mind, never mind.”

“…alright. well, what sport are you two heading to?” you ask, rolling your shoulders back.

“well… we actually are the refs for the volleyball match.”

you raise an eyebrow. “both of you are? how’d you manage to get out of having to compete?”

“we both signed up as volunteers, just like some kids are doing the concessions,” dante says rather smugly, lifting up a candy bar and waving it in the air.

“great… you two wouldn’t have any ulterior motives here, would you?” you narrow your eyes, looking over to travis. “perhaps with a certain captain in mind?”

“what?” travis stutters. “you’re the second one to accuse me of that! i’d never purposefully screw up the scorecard to get her to yell at me!”

“…uh-huh…”

the principal’s voice cuts through the stadium speakers. “our 3rd round of events today is soccer and volleyball! for soccer, we’ll have the freshmen versus our juniors, and for volleyball, we have sophomores versus seniors! good luck out there!”

you spin on your heels, walking backward onto the sand court and motioning towards the two boys with your fingers in an 'i’m watching you' motion. katelyn—to no one's surprise—is already there and fired up, hyping up teony to do her best as she stretches her arms. her head whips to you when she catches your figure from the corner of her eye, rushing forward to grab you.

“dude, where were you? come on, the game’s gonna start. you’re the outside hitter, okay?” she says, and you simply nod along as your previous anger seems to bubble up and surface again.

this should be a good way to release some steam.

teony gives you a strange look before getting in position at the back of the court. you must not have been hiding your expression as well as you thought you were.

the match went pretty well, and once katelyn realized you were putting your full force into your spikes she consistently set the ball towards you, leaving your dominant arm sore and chest heaving.

“hey! good job!” laurance calls from the sidelines, grinning brightly. his face was sheened with a layer of sweat, strands of his caramel hair stuck to his cheeks and forehead.

garroth stands next to him, looking out of breath like he had just sprinted across the campus field. he grins, holding up two big thumbs up at your team.

“um, that wasn’t game point,” travis pipes up, making all of you turn your heads to the boy.

immediately he looks nervous, tapping his fingers together and waving the flimsy score board in his hand. oh, travis. that’s one way to get your crush’s attention… that’s for sure.

“what?! there’s no way! let me see that!”

deciding to stay out of…whatever was going to go down there, you jog over to the boys with a smile.

“hey! how’d you guys do?”

“decent. i’m not too into football, and my teammates didn’t seem as into the game, either.” garroth shrugs.

“not too bad for me, either. you know i love soccer, so it was just like a fun practice for me.” laurance says, glancing over to the field. “the game aphmau was playing just ended, she did pretty good too—especially against that aaron guy. it was kinda funny seeing her zip around him.”

you chuckle at the thought. “yeah, i bet.”

“what a close call for that soccer game! but the winner of the soccer match is the freshman class! the mvps of this match are aaron from the junior class and aphmau from the freshman class! man, i can't wait to see what else goes on in this tournament today! it is such a heated rivalry!”

you look over to the field, watching as little aph herself shoots a sassy look to aaron and walks off with attitude in her steps.

“there she goes!” garroth muses.

“baby’s first medal?” laurance adds, and you whip your head to him with a wide smile.

“baby’s first medal!”

“baby?” garroth questions, looking lost as ever as he looks between you two.

katelyn’s shout and a loud thud meets your ears.

“this judge is bogus! he’s clearly blind!”

“katelyn! you can’t just hit people with volleyballs when you’re upset! i’m pretty sure you’ve hit travis alone on three different occasions!”

“i don’t care, this is stupid!”

travis groans from the ground, and teony sighs as she helps him to his feet. “…i’ll take you to the nurse. kate, go… walk it off while they figure it out.”

“…that’s katelyn for you,” garroth murmurs as she stomps over to you three. “you alright?”

“yeah.” she puffs out her lips in annoyance. “i kinda feel bad for blowing up on him, but it’s like he was keeping the wrong score on purpose!”

“well, it’ll be fine. you did really good regardless, kate!” you say, very carefully choosing not to say a word about travis’s intentions.

“yeah, both of you did,” laurance chimes, eyebrows raised with an impressed stare. “i just kinda was able to catch the end of the game, but you didn't look like you were holding back on those spikes at all.”

katelyn nods, crossing her arms.

“yeah, i’m for sure forcing her to join the team next year. she’s good.” she glances over to you. “but you did seem a little off. you good?”

shrugging, you awkwardly cross your arms. “uh… about that…”

“did something happen?” garroth frowns.

“i had a run-in with ivy in the bathrooms.” you admit. “she was saying really nasty stuff about me and aph… and i think she’s planning on spreading some rumors around about us.”

“…what? are you sure?” his frown deepens. “ivy wouldn’t do that, would she?”

kate and laurance look over at him with blank stares.

“did you not tell him, laurance?” katelyn scoffs.

“tell me what?” garroth asks impatiently.

“not yet… ugh…” the brunet groans, grabbing onto garroth’s arm and beginning to drag him away. “let’s talk, man.”

“okay?” he stumbles along, the lost look in his eyes still highly apparent.

“great, now i’m even more mad!” kate seethes. “where is she?!”

“woah, woah!” you wave your hands before steadying them on her shoulders. “just chill for a second. i already threatened her today, let’s not get into any trouble.”

she sighs. “fine. but if i catch her by herself it’s not gonna be pretty.”

“that’s what i said.”

“oh!” she suddenly yanks your arm, pulling you along like a woman on a mission towards the track. “there’s lucinda! we’re telling her right now!”

☆

“are you serious?” lucinda scoffs, legs crossed as you all sit at the top of the bleachers. “look, i know you rejected the potion in the food idea, but an overdose on laxatives is an option, too.”

you rub your eyes, glancing down to the track where aphmau was warming up for her race. “as tempting as it is, i want to let her destroy herself. she thinks because she’s more popular than we are that everyone will have to believe her. but as long as you guys and the rest of our friends know the truth, her rumors won’t mean anything and she’ll destroy her own reputation.”

“leaving it up to karma, huh? that’s fair.” lucinda sighs, leaning back on her arms. “i guess. still wanna make her shit her pants, but to each their own.”

“lucy!” you laugh, leaning into her shoulder.

“no, no, she has a good point,” katelyn says, before leaning forward. “oh, there’s prince charming.”

you glance down, garroth’s golden curls coming into view as he hops his way up the bleachers stairs to your direction. his eyebrows are pulled together as he keeps his eyes trained on the metal steps.

kate stands with a sigh, pulling lucinda up with her. “come on. i think they need to talk alone for a second. plus, i want some chips from the concessions before my next game.”

“fine, i could go for a snack, too.” the redhead sighs, waving her fingers at you and squeezing your hands. “bye, my love!”

you wave the two girls off, before shooting over and patting the seat next to you for garroth to sit. he slinks down into the spot, sighing and leaning forward on his elbows while staring out at the track.

“hi.”

“hey.”

he straightens up with a deep breath, turning to you with a troubled expression. “i didn’t mean to sound like i didn’t believe you earlier, i was just surprised.”

you smile at the genuine guilt in his eyes. sweet garroth.

“i know. sorry i didn’t tell you about everything sooner.”

“it’s… okay. laurance explained it all.” he frowns. “i just feel bad.”

you intake a breath to reply, but he cuts you off, raising his hands up.

“not because i think it’s my fault. trust me, laurance lectured my ear off about that.” he leans back, sighing. “just… i feel like i could’ve, like, protected you a bit from all of that if i had known.”

“garroth…”

“promise you’ll tell me if you’re having trouble from now on?” he grabs onto your wrist, looking pleadingly into your eyes with his own. “please promise me. you’re one of my best friends.”

“i promise.”

“good. i promise i’ll tell you everything, too.” he leans forward, pulling you into a hug. “i know we don’t remember much from our childhood, but we’ve been friends for a long time, right? i promise i care way more about you than whatever anyone else at this school has to say about you.”

“…thank you,” you whisper. something about his genuine care has you blinking back the urge to cry, gulping from the surge of emotions that gathered in the base of your throat.

you both pull back from the hug, and garroth smiles that stupidly dazzling smile. “of course.”

the track’s starter gun startles you from the heartfelt moment, making you both jump in place as you look down at the relay race below.

“wait… is aphmau going against aaron at the end? who the heck thought that was a good idea?” garroth blinks, staring at the two in bewilderment. “the guy’s over a foot taller than her!”

you hum in equal confusion, slowly standing and making your way to the stairs. “yeah, that is weird… c’mon. let’s get closer.”

the teams are already on their third hand off by the time you’re both at the bottom of the bleachers, the two runners making their way to aphmau and aaron before handing off the batons. instead of the taller boy completely leaning aph in the dust, he surprisingly keeps her pace before seeing to a stop in the middle of the track.

“huh?” garroth murmurs, and it seems aphmau carries the same sentiment as she slows, turning to aaron with a baffled look of her own.

they’re too far from you to hear what they were saying, but based on his smug look and her peeved expression, his act of stopping seemed more like a taunt than an act of sportsmanship.

aphmau sends a sassy remark to aaron and that seems to stop their strange standstill, as the six-foot-something junior takes off sprinting towards the finish line. she turns, amber eyes wide and mouth agape in shock as she stands in place and watches as he passes the finish line in seconds.

“i can’t believe you fell for that,” he snickers, seeming to deeply relish the look on her face before turning and waltzing away with a smug look on his face.

aphmau’s face contorts from one of bafflement to one of absolute infuriation, and she takes a few steps forward like she was about to go try and tackle the guy herself.

“wh—you! i’m gonna—!” she fumes, unable to even get a sentence out in her frustration.

“woah, aphmau! stop, it’s over!” garroth calls out, trying to calm her as he waves his hands while you both jog over to her.

“he tricked me!” she insists, nose wrinkled like she’d swallowed something bitter.

“...i'm not sure what happened there, but you both ran a good match.” he rubs the back of his neck, chuckling. “well, until the end, that is.”

aphmau deflates, tensely laughing away the rest of her frustration. “yeah… thanks garroth.”

he nods proudly, crossing his arms. “you’re welcome.”

the rest of the festival flies by, with thankfully not many more appearances from ivy’s group or even sightings of the shadow knights. after freshening up in the locker room, you’d waited thirty minutes on the bench, occasionally sending aph a few texts.

you: are you coming to the locker room before walking home?

delivered, 3:42

you: hello?

delivered, 3:55

you: are you okay??

delivered, 4:00

when ten more minutes had passed with no response, you’d felt the anxiety you’d been suppressing come in full force. with hands jittering and head a bit dizzy, you pushed through the girls locker room doors, beginning your search of the now empty school.

from each of the classrooms you knew she had classes in, to all of the bathrooms, and even the cafeteria, she wasn’t anywhere in any rooms of the school you searched. you even ran back outside, searching the outdoor bathrooms—and even briefly looking in the boy’s restroom in your desperation—to no avail.

calm down. you’re on campus, there’s no way something awful happened to her on campus.

hands shaking, you pull your phone out again, attempting to call her phone one last time. staring at a spot in the grass, you listen to the dial of the phone ringing while a faint buzzing in your ears blocked out any other ambient noise.

“your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system. at the tone, please recor—”

ripping the phone away from your face, you hang up and catch your breath that you didn’t realize you were holding.

it’s okay. it’s okay. she probably walked home and her phone died or something. you can walk to her house and check with sylvanna, and if she isn’t there… then you can panic.

quickly you find yourself super walking down the sidewalk to your house, eyes drifting to each black vehicle that passed on the road and steps stuttering anytime one of them seemed to slow.

you hate this feeling. the one you felt anytime you went anywhere back in your old town. the weak shakiness of prey stuck in a hunter's trap desperately trying to escape it but unable to find the strength, and unknowing of when the hunter was going to come find you. it was a sick, nearly paralyzing rush through your nervous system, crowding your head and making you both aware of everything and too dizzy to focus on one thing.

did they find you again?

were you risking your friends’ lives by being around them?

did they get aph?

did you kill her when you chose to be her friend?

“wait for me!”

you almost faint from how quickly you turn around, eyes wide as you focus in on aphmau clumsily running after you—face red and hair frazzled.

“o-m-g, that was so embarrassing!” she heaves, stopping in front of you. “sorry i didn’t respond to your text! you won’t believe what just happened to—oh—!”

you reach forward, pulling aphmau into a tight hug. suddenly you hear the birdsong in the trees again. the rushing of cars on the street next to you. your blood is suddenly swirling in your head.

“woah… are you okay? you’re shaking, like, really bad…”

a second passes before you pull away, taking in a gulp of air. “yeah, i’m fine.”

“and you’re really pale,” aphmau says, thin eyebrows pinched together before she gasps. “oh, did i worry you? i’m so, so sorry! i can explain what happened on the way, okay?”

her eyes are full of a worry you hadn’t quite seen before. did you look that upset?

“okay, yeah. i’m fine. i’m fine.” you reassure, wiping away the cold sweat from the back of your neck with a grimace.

aphmau hums, the noise shaky and unsure, before reaching out to take your free hand. “okay. maybe you can come have dinner with me and my mom tonight! i think she said she was going to make empanadas tonight. you know what those are, right?”

“yeah…”

“great! well, my mom’s empanadas are the best, so you can try them! oh yeah, i was gonna tell you what happened, right? so…”

you don’t mean to, but your focus drifts from aphmau’s actual words to just the sound of her voice, eyes drifting to the sidewalk ahead. the feeling of her smaller hand holding yours was somehow comforting despite how it gently and barely seemed to even squeeze yours.

you still feel high-strung, but as the initial adrenaline finally leaves your body you feel a wave of exhaustion and… a bit of embarrassment. it seems a bit dramatic, what you just did. after all, aph is perfectly fine right here. you were acting like an overly anxious parent or older sister, and the two of you aren’t even related to each other.

“…and she shoved me in the locker! can you believe that? what kind of girl fake cries in the boys' locker room and then traps another girl in there?! i thought she was really in trouble!”

“wait, what?” you blink, whipping your head over to her as you process her words. “who did?”

“ivy! she shoved me in the locker! and i didn’t have my phone 'cause it was still in my bag, so i just had to wait there until—guess who?!—aaron let me out! she stuck me in aaron lycan’s locker!”

a wave of anger resurfaces, sending black spots into your vision. once again, another problem caused by that insufferable prick.

“i’m gonna fucking kill her.”

“what!” aphmau laughs, squeezing your hand. “woah, your face is scaring me! calm down!”

she swerves you off the sidewalk and into her yard, pulling you closer to her front door. “let’s think about empanadas instead! mhm, mhm! and pepsi… and ice cream… and we can watch a movie or episode of something before we have a very calm and peaceful rest for school tomorrow.”

“…okay.” you sigh, pulling in a tense breath. “okay. that sounds nice… let’s do it.”

“yay!”

©starhvney, 2024. please do not steal or repost my works as your own.

tag list: @orinlin @pain-in-the-ashe @youmake1mistake @arienic @wasting-away-on-the-internet @angelhyperfixates @remiechu

[toournextadventure]

everyone but her pt.3

a/n: dont mind me, just posting at work. EDIT: previously titled about time

Word Count: 3.0k Warnings: mention of past injury, hints of past abuse, swearing Pairing: Wednesday Addams x Reader (Masterlist)

There was still an ache in your shoulder when you sat down in your phytotoxicology class. It was decently scabbed (which was beyond itchy) but the actual joint was sore. You had hoped it would ease up a bit over the weekend, but to no avail. Hopefully no one had really noticed your stiff movements. But hey, at least you were left handed.

“You look miserable,” Wednesday said as she sat to your left.

“Shut up, Addams,” you mumbled.

Enid sat behind the two of you, her eyes glued to where your hands were resting on the desk. If you just moved your hand a few inches to the left. And if you could talk just a little louder so she could hear, that would be great. She needed to know what you two were talking about. If it wasn’t about a date then she was going to scream. She just wanted you both to get over yourselves.

Class went on as usual; Enid was forced to bear witness to you doodling in Wednesday’s notebook, completely interrupting her notes. In turn, Wednesday would add rather… violent attachments to your initial drawing, and the cycle would continue. She couldn’t see your face, but your shoulders would shake with silent laughter every few doodles. You were both so close.

“Miss Y/N?”

Your head snapped up, turning toward the front where Miss Thornhill was standing with an expectant look.

“Adonis vernalis,” you said proudly without hesitation.

“Not even close,” Miss Thornhill said with a smile while everyone failed to stiffle their giggles. “See me after class.”

“Aw man,” you mumbled as you slumped back into your seat. All that pep in your step had been washed away.

Quite frankly, Enid thought it was hilarious.

She rushed to catch up with Wednesday as you stayed behind to talk to Miss Thornhill. For such a small person, Wednesday could move really fast. It was starting to become an issue because Enid was not dressed for jogging across campus. God, why couldn’t she just slow down?

“It seems it’s impossible to get away from you,” Wednesday said when Enid finally caught up; she slowed her pace anyway.

“Did you-”

“-No, and I’m not going to,” Wednesday interrupted.

“You don’t even know what I was going to say,” Enid pouted.

“You were going to ask if I have asked Y/N on a date, and the answer is no.”

“Then I give up,” Enid said as she threw her hands into the air. “You two are far too stubborn. Enjoy the friendzone.”

She stalked off, trying not to smile to herself when she noticed Wednesday had stopped walking. With any luck, her plan would work splendidly and you would both be together before Parent’s Weekend in a month. It may have taken her a little longer than planned to come up with such a genius idea, but it was going to be worth it.

—---

It was truly a beautiful day to be outside. Overcast skies, a cool breeze, potential for rain. Not the best day to fly, but a wonderful time to walk around. Maybe you could stop by the lake, tease the monsters below the surface. At least you would if you weren’t stuck in the greenhouse.

Miss Thornhill was truly, and you meant this with the utmost respect, a bitch. So maybe you didn’t pay attention in class, and maybe you got a bunch of questions wrong. But that’s what she got for calling on you in class. Had you raised your hand? Had you given any indication whatsoever that you knew the answer? No. So really, this was on her.

And now you were stuck in the stupid greenhouse having to jot down sketches of each plant, their scientific name, and what symptoms they cause if ingested or inhaled. You had only finished maybe a third of the greenhouse and it was already midafternoon. You were never going to be done with this stupid detention.

You didn’t even like plants.

“You look miserable.”

“There’s more than one way to greet a person, you know,” you said without turning around.

Wednesday slid into your peripheral like a wisp of smoke; she always moved smoothly even though she appeared so rigid. Her coat hung off her small frame, and the snood Enid had made her only accentuated that by swallowing what little of her remained. She was reminiscent of the little kids at the park in winter; their parents had bundled them up in the warmest clothing they could find in the house.

“Just let me finish my detention, Addams,” you mumbled as you jotted down another sketch. It wasn’t half bad, actually.

For better or worse, Wednesday stayed silent as you moved around the greenhouse, assigned sketchbook in hand. There was no doubt you were getting 90% of the names wrong, and you were just writing “it’s bad :(“ under the list of symptoms at this point, but you didn’t care. This kind of detention was stupid. Besides, it was a Saturday; you should’ve been out getting coffee or harrassing everyone at Pilgrim World, not sitting in a humid greenhouse practicing your art skills. But no, now you were stuck here and- oh that plant is pretty.

“Don’t touch it,” Wednesday said rather quickly as you reached out to touch the flower.

“Why not?” You asked in indignation, finally turning around to see her. Oh, she’s cute.

“It’s a foxglove,” she answered.

“Wednesday,” you sighed, “if I knew what that meant, I wouldn’t be in here on a Saturday afternoon.”

“It’s toxic to birds.” She rolled her eyes at your incompetence.

“Oh, well thank- wait.” You narrowed your eyes at her and the smallest movement at the corner of her mouth. “I’m not a bird and you know it.”

“You can never be too sure,” she said without hesitation.

“Oh, you’re a prick,” you huffed out. You had to turn back to look at the plants again so she wouldn’t see your poor attempts at not laughing. “Why are you even here?”

“I brought you this.”

She brought me something? You thought. Well know she was just getting desperate if she was going to be bringing you things. You set your sketchpad down on the table, in front of the foxglove that Wednesday claimed to be toxic to birds. What had she brought you-

“-What is that?” You asked once your eyes landed on the small bag in her hands.

“Birdseed,” she said. “It’s a bribe.”

“That better not be for me or I will get offended,” you said, switching your weight to your other foot and crossing your arms over your chest.

“You’re going birdwatching with me.” She rolled her eyes but held the bag out further for you to take from her.

“Are you asking me out on a date?” You asked.

Wednesday Addams did not blush, that was a well known fact. Not a drop of colour would be found on her cheeks, ever. But that didn’t mean she was emotionless; you could tell when the stretch of skin over her cheeks and nose turned a little darker. It was the closest to an uncontrollable show of emotion as she was ever going to get.

And you were absolutely living for it.

“Are you coming or not?” Wednesday asked, completely ignoring your question for clarification.

You wanted her to admit it was a date. Wanted her to swallow her pride and say the word “date” because it’s just what you needed. There was no way in hell you were going to ask first, not when she had always been so clear about her thoughts on what a waste of time relationships were. “Look at my parents,” she had said one night, “limited because they can’t go anywhere alone.”

But you needed her to call it a date. Your hopes were embarrassingly high and you just needed her to say that four letter word. It could only be once and you would be happy. If she called it a date once and then never again until the day you died, you would be content. Just say the word, you thought to yourself as she finally turned her head back around to face you.

“Fine,” Wednesday sighed, “I’ll go on my own.” She turned around and started walking away.

“Wait!” You called after her. She stopped, but didn’t turn around.

You looked around frantically for the rest of your things. What if Miss Thornhill showed up and realised you were gone? And worse yet, what if she realised you sucked at detention? She was going to tell Principle Weems and then you would get another scolding. But pass up on a date with the Wednesday Addams?

Shit.

“You’re a bad influence, Wednesday Addams,” you huffed once you finally caught up to her and you both started walking out of the greenhouse.

You missed the small smile on her face.

—---

For all intents and purposes, Wednesday did not like you. If anyone dared to ask, you were nothing more than a thorn in her side, and not in a good way. No, you weren’t as energetic and colourful as Enid, but you still smiled too much. You cracked too many jokes and made yourself too accomadating. Any normal person would have been embarrassed.

No, Wednesday Addams did not like you.

She did not like the way you had talked the whole way to your preferred spot in the forest. “It’s a bit late for birdwatching,” you had said on the walk over, “but it’s overcast, so it might be fine.” She did not like the way you actually took your harness off and ruffled your feathers. Or the way they puffed up a little, “because it’s cold,” you explained with a shrug and a blush on your neck. Then there was the way you were sat still as a statue, birdseed scattered around, just waiting for some birds to stop by.

No, she didn’t like you.

There were absolutely no feelings in her void of a soul when a bird finally did appear, standing directly in front of your outstretched hand. The gentle smile on your face was completely moronic. You would make an excellent side character in her book; the same character that would get herself killed off in the first chapter. Wednesday could see it now; you would be too focused at the park and would get yourself put on a hit list simply because you were an easy target.

She wouldn’t be caught dead watching your feathers ruffle when more birds appeared, flocking around you. Or listening intently to what you were saying to them, holding full conversations as they hopped around and picked at the birdseed you continuously scattered. No, she would not join you on the ground, she was just fine sitting with her back to the tree. And no she didn’t want to feed the birds, this is an outing for you, she’s just the chaperone.

Her cold, black heart did not stutter when the light caught your skin just right and illuminated the nearly-healed scrapes and bruises from your incident last week. Wednesday had always loved the colours of a bruise. The angry red reminiscent of a wound, or the healing yellow-green that was nearly the same as the colour of a waterlogged corpse. Although they didn’t look quite as stunning on you. For one odd reason or another, seeing the bruises and cuts on your skin, or the apparent stiffness of your joints brought no joy to her.

There is no way in heaven or hell that she would admit she watched you the way her father watched her mother. Watching your every move, from the rise and fall of your chest to the twitch in each individual feather. The way the veins on your forearms stood out when you lifted a bird up or the eyelash that now resided on your cheek that she so desperately wished to wipe off for you. Or that your small, airy little laugh made her feel like an arrow had impaled her heart and mind and soul, painfully tethering her to the tree she was leaning against.

No, she was not her father.

And no, she did not like you.

—---

You looked like a little kid sitting in the chair on the other side of Larissa’s desk. With a bowed head and hands folded tightly in your lap, you reminded her of the young children in normal schools who got sent to the principle’s office for something they hadn’t done. Except you very well had done what you were accused of; maybe that was why you looked so guilty.

“Miss Thornhill told me you’ve been struggling in class,” Larissa started off. “You’re struggling to focus.”

“I’m just not any good at it,” you said with a shrug. You still weren’t looking up.

“She also told me you had been given detention last Saturday,” she continued; you sunk further into the chair. “And you were nowhere to be found when she went to check on you.”

“Wow, that’s wild,” you said with a huff. “She probably needs to check that her perscriptions are up to date,” you said, tapping your finger to the corner of your eye, “might need a better one.”

“Did you skip your detention?” Larissa asked, far softer than she would be with any other student.

“I didn’t “skip” detention,” you started. “I was there until around 3, I think that was punishment enough.”

“What came along that was more important than your detention?” Larissa continued to pry.

“A date,” you said so quietly that she almost couldn’t hear you.

“A date? With whom?” She asked with a small smile and in the gentlest voice she could offer you.

To most, it would be an inappropriate question. No one wanted their principle to know all the juicy details of their personal lives. But Larissa knew you both had a… slightly different relationship. She knew you struggled, you had been a student at Nevermore for nearly eight years; she knew what damage your personal life had inflicted upon you. For eight years she had been able to provide some sort of comfort, a surrogate parent of sorts, and she was doing her best to give you that space to be a normal teenager with a normal parent.

You had talked with her about these things before, it wasn’t like she was implying something out of nowhere. Larissa had been your shoulder to cry on through all of your family woes, your frustrations, your first heartbreak. It shouldn’t have been such a surprise for her to ask, even though you had initially been sent to see her because you had evaded your justly-deserved detention.

But instead of your usual excitement, Larissa noticed a glaze cover your eyes and your arms wrap tightly around yourself. She had seen you like this multiple times; you still refused to see a therapist about it. And as much as she wanted to go to you and comfort you, previous experience had told her you needed to feel it all before coming back to the present.

“Y/N?” She asked quietly, leaning over her desk to get closer to you without invading your space.

You blinked once, slowly, a single tear falling onto your quivering bottom lip. Your tongue darted out to lick your lip before your eyes opened. The haze took its time in fading from your usually sparkly eyes, but you looked up at Larissa as it diminished. One shuddering breath in, a shaky breath out, and your body fell into a relaxed state once again.

“Wednesday Addams,” you choked out around the sobs that you were shoving back down your throat. Your eyes flickered away from her at the admission.

“What did you both go do?” Larissa asked with a smile that you definitely saw this time.

There was a hesitancy on your face; your lips were parted slightly as if you were about to speak, and your eyes shone brightly, but the slight tilt of your head gave you away. You weren’t one to outwardly share your emotions, but your body langauge always gave you away. It brought a joy to Larissa that she had never understood was possible before you had come around.

“Well, she bought some birdseed-,” you started, immediately going off about the entire date.

Larissa leaned forward, completely enthralled with your tale. The way your hands gestured this way and that, the movements eloquent in their own right. Pianist’s fingers, she recalled. The inflection in your voice a mirror of your younger self, back when you had less worries. You’re excited, she thought with a soft sigh. You haven’t been excited in years.

“-and then Miss Thornhill saw me and sent me straight here,” you finished with a huff, clearly out of breath.

“Will you go on another one?” Larissa asked after you had caught your breath slightly.

“Well, I think it’s my turn to ask next,” you shrugged; there was a sparkle in your eye. “So yes.”

“Then you’d better go prepare.” Larissa sat back in her chair and crossed her legs. “She set the bar pretty high, don’t you think?”

“Might find an autopsy she can watch,” you mused aloud as you pushed yourself off the chair. The stiffness of your injury had yet to ease, Larissa noticed as you essentially limped over to the doorway.

“Oh, Y/N,” she called out once you were halfway out the door.

“Yes ma’am?” You asked, leaning back into the office.

“You can make up your failed detention on Saturday,” she said with a smile that only got bigger as you groaned.

“This place is a fucking prison,” you grumbled as you walked away. Larissa sat back in her chair and looked over toward the fireplace. Maybe, she thought, Addams won’t be so bad afterall.

[spotlightlowlife]

codependency isn't couple goals.

To add to cresent moon and this notion of a cornered victims imperfections being equivalent to power, we have a whole line up of characters who could do with working on themselves because their setups are good.

Yes fantasy has a habit of toxic relationships but the difference is they tend to be related in escapism, this show along with it's parent series tend to give us dynamics that they clearly want us to root for when they serve as little but a means to an end.

Over in Hazbin we have the push at Husk x Angel, where Angel casually sexually harasses Husk, much to his annoyance, as Husk works at a hotel bar through little choice of his own while Angel stays their for free, for shits and giggles too, yet Husk is not allowed to be upset Angel, that's insensitive, Husk must realise that they're both 'losers' and be more receptive, adjust his mood and make himself more outgoing when required.

We have Charlie x Vaggie, an established relationship yet this would never be apparent if it wasn't for us being told or already knowing because of the fandom. These two have the least chemistry of any pairing of either series, don't be fooled into believing their lack of crassness which is abundant when male characters are present is a lack of chemistry, these two just have nothing, Vaggie could literally be yet another sinner working at Charlie's hotel.

Charlie doesn't get to hide behind the excuse of behaving professional and busy at work because she's no professional and she doesn't work, this could work if this main character was actually given time and focus in her own series and her every interaction with her girlfriend wasn't some occasional glance from either of them, a peck on the forehead or slight touched hand at the same time as some pressing issue.

Both ladies are friendless yet they lack presence to such a degree that they maybe pass as acquaintances among all others hanging about in Charlie's hotel with nothing in particular to do.

Vaggie's new backstory had them meet the moment after she 'fell' (which Charlie conveniently didn't witness), laying injured and now homeless, Charlie, the princess of hell and not just any princess but the daughter of the leader of leaders, approaches to help, she was kind, caring and immediately interested, Vaggie became her sidekick along with the above.

Vaggie has little of her own, keeping quiet about her past could have been character strength or a weakness that can be developed, only it wasn't, nor were her intentions to improve her combat in preparation for the conflict that was on its way through no fault of her own, she is simply there with the plots simply happening to her, he major backstory, no big deal, gloss over Charlie's breif upset, no extra angel powers for Vaggie or effort to bring order or do anything to prove she had any stance pre Charlie, no, these leading characters were not given the time, the take away was that Vaggie now has wings and is even cuter.

Back to HB, Millie and Moxxie are a good couple but they're codependents with Millie having little outside their relationship.

Moxxie is very attached to Millie who is very attached to him, he loves how much she loves him and how keen she is to view in his interests, something he didn't get at home, but he's also attached to Blitzø, a friend he made in jail who was nice to him and had great dreams, Moxxie stuck around to see and help realise these dreams, dispite Blitzø being a horrible boss, not a nice friend, invading his personal space and bringing his bratty adult daughter to work with them. He had it thought growing up and like Blitzø who too experienced a crocked dad and a apparently caring, apparently quiet and apparently dead mother, Moxxie too now has a new family.

Why was Moxxie in jail? Because of a comicaly douchy ex boyfriend who also happens to have dated Millie too. They were both oblivious to dating the same douche and what he did to get Millie so upset is unknown, a truly pointless plot device.

Now on to Millie, who serves as validation for Moxxie but let us know that she too needs validation and a little moment to shine, I'm sure this sound sweet to some.

I truly believe that the Sallie May and Millie short was of no benefit to Millie's character, it further reiterated that her husband and her family must be separated parts of her life, yet this isn't a step away from codependency, this is yet another example of her complacency in her refusal to stand up to her nice enough but rowdy and judgemental family that no doubt is the reason she simply loves attention, loves the opportunity to be aggressive and loves the attention she gets from a guy who loves her for her exuberance and her love for him in return.

Millie was in an environment where she blends in, getting the chance to go elsewhere and stand out for being different gives her the spotlight she seeks, but how sustainable is it when she's just going to blend again because of her lack of interests?

She managed to have an ex, also Moxxie's ex, I assume while away from home, she managed to get her job where I assume she met Moxxie, she's been in the city, why not let her have hobbies, her favourite places to be where she's the one initiating outings, let her have friends she can enjoy shopping and clubs with rather than just her sister, let her enjoy live music and not just because it's her husband's passion.

It makes sense why they are given so many grande gestures.

Millie x Moxxie and Vaggie x Charlie are almost copy paste, a charismatic pushover from powerful family who isn't respected at work and is struggling to get their idea heard, is maybe the nicest person in their group but has selective moral compass, is a bisexual with a slimy ex but the current relationsip in a serious with a woman who comes from a different world and has eyes only for them, she's in the background somewhere. Millie x Moxxie work well because of the absence of unfair power dynamics, equal neediness and affection that can range from very tame to very vulgar.

Ozzie x Fizz very briefly took over as a healthier Millie x Moxxie until Fizz was humbled out of having any life of his own. Fizz has had it tough but now he's with royalty and living a life of fun and smothering loving, he doesn't need anything else.

Fizz also serves as proof that Lust itself is capable of love, yet dispite all the time they have been given and all the effort in that one episode to tell us how awful Fizz's boss is (the ONLY HIGH UP CHARACTER SO FAR to manage active and balanced leadership, live up to their villainy and not be dating the customer) and why he should stay home which fizzled out on us because Fizz's issue then became not feeling good enough for Ozzie and desperately seeking the validation we are constantly seeing him getting we have yet to see how Fizz x Ozzie become a thing, until then why believe that Fizz is the one even though Ozzie the great and the powerful predates time?

How they got together is something we have not seen in either of the leading established couples (if it's true that Vaggie x Charlie became a thing when they met under those circumstances, then it's arguable that Vaggie joins the sugarbaby club).

Previously I touched upon these two being a shortcut who piggyback off what some in the fandom want for Blitzø and Stolas.

Now if you honestly separate any likeness between these two ships, forget Fizz is an imp like Blitzø, forget the shared trauma experience, forget Ozzie is royalty like Stolas and forget the working relationship, what do these two have? Especially Fizz now that he's out of his other job that lined up with his life long aspirations?

Blitzø has been just another of a long line of partners who sleeps and works with the other, only with Blitzø the partnership is a transactional and a monthly over daily job.

He's not the default best friend even though Stolas wants to believe that, a total delusion on his part to believe into his adulthood that the 'lowly' child and open thief and vandal who was bought to your home because 'you like them and you're rich' those decades ago is your friend. They got to eat together on the one not date that Blitzø had a choice to not take further and chose not to. Blitzø is vilified for that time he called on Stolas out of contract because he needed a plus one or for liking sex which should come as no surprise considering the sex jokes are constant with him followed by virtually every other male character.

It's Blitzø who needs to get with the program and submit to his sugar daddy who holds all the cards.

Healthiest couple are Millie's parents.

[dc418writes]

•Daddy Dare Care•

✨Pairing✨: mechanic!Ari Levinsonxblack!reader

Summary🪄 : Ari’s bright idea to stay with the girls to give you a break may not go as smoothly as he thought (Operation: Rekindle addition)

⚠️: dad!Ari (truly a menace Lol), all fluff💕

A/N🎙️: Just something short and sweet. It started out a bit self indulgent since it was my birthday on April 18th☺️, but since that has definitely passed and it switched to Mother’s Day (which also has since passed🫠 lol). Either way, we now have a change in celebrations! Hope you guys like it! *If I can push myself, I have 2 other belated bday/self indulgent fics I want to put out but we’ll see!*

*DISCLAIMER!*: Although collage was made by me, I DO NOT CLAIM OWNERSHIP of any pictures used as they were all found on Pinterest

“Ari, you sure you’re gonna be okay?,” you ask in a hushed whisper daring not to wake your sleeping twins. As angelic as they looked at this moment in their matching bassinets, long lashes resting peacefully against their cheeks, you wouldn’t believe they were screaming like mad men an hour before.

Aliana was hungry, but wouldn’t take your breast milk from the bottle her father so nicely warmed for her. She wanted it from the source, which wouldn’t have been an issue if her sister Brynn wasn’t so keen on staying attached to you today.

So unsurprisingly, she wasn’t happy when you and Ari had to trade.

And sensing her sister wasn’t happy, Aliana therefore would not feed and instead cried in solidarity with her sister.

Like she’s done pretty much every other day since you’ve moved in, Mrs. Holloway shuffled her way across the hall knocking on your door to check on your little family and make sure everything was fine after over 15 minutes of wailing. Although a very sweet gesture, you really weren’t in the mood for her “what I used to do is…” at that current moment.

“I probably shouldn’t even be-,”

“Y/N it’s Mother’s Day. You deserve to get out the house and have a break,” Ari responds. “Go and have fun, we’ll be good.”

You honestly felt guilty how much you longed for more than the monotonous cycle that was your life these past months. Not a complete change, just a little twist in the routine if you will

Seeing your friends going out for dinner and on trips made you miss your college days of exploring the city or those around. Not caring about what time you came back because you only had yourself to worry about.

Yes you knew you needed a break - your doctor and the girls’ pediatrician always emphasized that during your respective appointments - but you honestly felt like you didn’t deserve it. As your mother said when you announced your pregnancy, “Say goodbye to whatever you consider fun and the life you had before. It’s now solely about those two until they’re good and grown. Heck even past that really.”

By the time you realize you’re crying, Ari’s already wiping away the lone tear with his thumb sweetly smiling at you as he caresses your cheeks.

“Baby I know it’s hard, but this is good for you. It’s okay to have a life outside of our girls.”

“Is it though?,” you whisper. “What if 20 or so years from now they need therapy because I wasn’t there?”

“…Well seeing that they’re infants, I doubt they’ll even remember this,” Ari lightly chuckles successfully making you smile - even if for only a few seconds. “Plus it’s only a few hours sweetheart. It’s not like you’re leaving for good. At least I hope not.”

His feigned suspicion and playful, narrowed eyes make you giggle as you lightly shake your head. “I’ll admit that was a bit dramatic.”

“But it’s just you being a concerned mama, which I understand.”

There he was being that grounding force you always needed. Helping quiet the noise from your brain to bring you a step closer to peace.

His warm palms still on your cheeks as you gazed into his eyes, you were happy to have him back - unfortunately only just for a short amount of time.

Ultimately, he was your center and from his absence you learned without him everything was off.

Unknown to you, he felt the same way of your presence. During your time apart, he honestly thought he wouldn’t make it how his body seemed to crave more than your touch. To hear your footsteps coming down the hall. Feel you under the same roof even if you weren’t in the same room.

Your buzzing phone signals your best friend’s arrival outside making you both separate - and further miss having such an intimate moment with each other again.

“If you need anything please call. Don’t try to struggle through so I don’t worry.”

“I will.” Ari’s hands on your hip and lower back gently move you towards the door not giving you a chance to possibly change your mind. “And you try to have fun. I don’t even want you thinking about us until you get back. Okay?”

“Kay,” you sigh stealing one last look at your beautiful girls. “I’ll see you guys later.”

“Just be sure to call when you’re on the way so we can kick everyone out and have everything cleaned up from the party.”

“Very funny.” His lips on your forehead smooth away your worry lines; instead replacing them with a flush of heat and a soft smile.

Instinctively, he wanted to lean down and meet your lips as well but he somehow restrains himself. Flashing his adorable tilted smile as a last assurance everything would be fine before you’re out the door walking down the steps to your friend’s Lexus. After a final wave, you’re both gone and he’s left with the quiet apartment and two sleeping babies.

Definitely not secretly worried himself as he sits on the couch with both bassinets in front of him. His girls and the tv in perfect view.

“Alright ladies, looks like it’s just us,” he quietly speaks to no one in particular. “So far so good right? Yea I think so too.”

As if sensing her father’s anxiety and mother’s absence, Brynn begins to wiggle and whimper as she typically did before having a full fussy meltdown. Luckily he’s able to get her before she could wake up Ali. Gently holding her close to his chest as he slowly rocks back and forth quietly shushing her.

“Hey it’s okay, I’m here babygirl. Nothing to worry about we’re alright.” In a matter of seconds she’s back to sleep and Ari’s smiling to himself comfortably sitting back against the soft, decorative pillows.

What was he nervous for? He had everything completely under control and these next few hours would easily fly by.

Or so he thought.

~

A couple hours later and his little angels were wide awake loudly broadcasting their requests for new diapers through their tears.

“I know sweetheart, I know. Daddy only has two hands though, so he’s working as fast as he can,” he responds in a sing-song tone to Aliana using one hand to try and tickle her cries away while the other steadies her squirmy sister.

He never really realized how long this takes not having any help.

Now they sat, relatively calm, in their high chairs watching as Ari opened their containers of food to place on the small plates in front of them.

“Okay my loves, dinner is served.”

With a fist full of smushed peas and carrots, the nine-month olds each inspect their hands before deciding they’d rather not.

“What’s wrong? You guys love this.”

Brynn just smashes more veggies between her fingers while Ali fiddles with the side of her chair as if trying to let herself down.

“Cmon girls you gotta eat,” Ari states grabbing two plastic spoons in each hand. Expertly, he’s able to get something on each one before holding it up to the twin’s mouths. Ali whines moving her head away, and Brynn smacks the utensil from his hand finding it quite hilarious when it drops to the floor.

“Alright, if you don’t want that let’s try this then.”

With the clean spoon, he digs into the clear baby food container before holding the yellowish goop to Brynn’s lips letting her taste. Smacking her lips once, her face contorts in disgust as she holds her tongue out not wanting anymore of whatever that was.

Ali does the same with the addition of smearing the remaining food from her lips to her cheeks and nose.

“It’s chicken and rice guys, I know it can’t be that bad. Here, watch dada.”

Getting a healthy spoonful for himself, he quickly realizes that probably wasn’t the best idea once it settles into his tastebuds.

Whatever this was definitely did not taste like the chicken and rice he was used to. And why did it almost taste like medicine?

He’s quick to spit it back into the jar gagging and frantically searching for a napkin to wipe the remaining residue from his tongue. His two angels giggling the entire time enjoying the impromptu show from their father.

“Glad my pain could make you laugh,” he shakes his head sliding the terrible chicken and rice to the side so he’d remember to throw it away later - and any other food from that brand.

Sighing, he journeys back to the fridge wondering what could work for his extremely picky girls as his oceanic blues scan along the shelves.

“Well since those two were a no, maybe we’ll have better luck with this.”

He takes one small container of strawberry yogurt and scoops the pink substance on one mini placemat before taking another to do the same on the next.

Just as they did with the peas, the yogurt oozes between their fingers then is brought to their mouths where they seem to enjoy the cold treat.

They reach for more practically sticking their entire hands in their mouths trying to eat as much as they could. He even hears a “mm” come from Brynn while Ali gnaws on both hands with that adorable dimpled smile.

“You like it girls?,” Ari asks chuckling at his messy little ones who’d definitely need a bath when they were done. “Don’t worry we got plenty more.”

~

Returning to your apartment, you’re a bit nervous as to what you’d find on the other side of the door not hearing anything from Ari since you left.

Everything seems okay though, seeing the pristine kitchen and dishes drying on the pad next to the sink.

As you step further into the living room, the only noise is some colorful cartoon character running across the tv screen while Ari snoozes with his head on the couch’s armrest. He must really be exhausted how his mouth is parted letting his snores freely escape to the open air. There’s even a bit of drool glistening in the corner of his mouth.

And you’d still gladly give him another child if he asked.

Perching on the edge of the cushion, you turn to run your thumb over his thick brow while gently calling out his name until he’s shifting and mumbling. “Ari, I’m back.”

One eye squinted, he tiredly smiles as he stretches his limbs - and you try to hold yourself together watching his muscles flex under the black Nirvana graphic tee. You shyly turn away, busying yourself with one of the girl’s rattles once his tummy pokes out along with a bit of his happy trail.

“Back already?,” he asks with a yawn.

“Ari it’s almost eight,” you softly chuckle as he looks towards the window to find it completely dark outside. A short “hm” rumbling in his chest as he sits up.

“I was out longer than I thought then.”

“How was everything? Were they fussy when I left?”

“It was good,” he smiles instantly making your own form. “And no, they actually stayed asleep for a couple hours before they woke up. Then had diaper changes, ate, and played until they got tired. Before you ask, yes I took plenty of pictures.”

He chuckles at the way you giddily bounce as he hands his phone over. The screen already showing a photo of your babies with messy faces and hands as they ate their yogurt. How did they always manage to get it in their hair?

“How was your girl’s day?”

“Pretty good. We went to that new little area, Midtown. They have some cute shops and things so we stayed there, talked and ate.”

“And see? Everyone’s fine, no one in any emotional distress,” he adds nudging your side and making you roll your eyes.

“I know I know, the world didn’t end,” you giggle standing as you hand his phone back - trying to ignore those fuzzy feelings in your stomach for the second time today when his hand touches yours. “I’m uh gonna go peek in on them before getting ready for bed.”

“Okay, just uh let me know when your done so I can change and everything.”

It’s been months, and it’s still taking time for both of you to get used to the new arrangements of your “separation”. At least once a day Ari had to remind himself how it was your bedroom now. How he was basically the guest in your home.

You, on the other hand, would never get used to the cold bed though having had your own personal heater for years.

Secretly, you didn’t wash the pillowcase from his side for the longest not wanting to get rid of his smell. The last remnant of his former presence in your little apartment.

Nodding your head, your sandals dully flap against the carpet as you make your way to your girls. More than ready to attack those chubby cheeks with kisses and nibble on fingers/toes if you could. However stepping foot in the door, that excitement soon turns into dread.

“Um Ari,” you sweetly call over your shoulder, “come here please.”

In seconds, he’s by your side still yawning the residual sleep from his body.

“What’s-,” his words catch in his throat as the horrendous scent finally touches his nostrils. “What died?!”

In their crib, Brynn and Aliana sat quietly covered in green, pasty poop that seemed to have run from their diapers out onto their starry mattress cover.

More specifically, Brynn sat squeezing poop in her fists while Ali lied on her back staring at the ceiling as if saying, “why me?”

“Exactly how much yogurt did you give them?”

“…Two.”

“Two?!”

“A-and a half,” he adds nervously scratching the back of his neck.

“Ari!,” you whine with hands on your hips. “The girls don’t do well with lots of dairy or sugar. It’s why we have the ‘only one’ limit.”

“But they really liked it! You should’ve seen how cute they were doing that excited shake thing. Plus they wouldn’t eat anything else I tried to give them,” he explains hoping to make it to the twins first birthday.

Sighing, you kick off your shoes before leaning down to pick up Ali being careful to not get any feces on you. “Let’s get you cleaned up my love. Can you get B please?”

Hesitantly, Ari reaches over the wooden railing to get his daughter trying to control his gags as she joyfully reaches out wanting to be held closer. “Please tell me you didn’t try to eat it.”

~

“Sorry I messed up,” Ari whispers as the four of you lie in bed. The girls, now freshly cleaned and in new onesies, each on their stomachs gently breathing. “Now you’re never gonna want to leave again.”

“It’s okay Ari, it was an accident. Need I remind you of the trip to your mom’s?,” you both chuckle.

“I just don’t want you worrying every time you step out the door.”

“That’s gonna happen no matter what. I love you guys and don’t want anything to happen.”

That innocent admission had a bright gleam forming in Ari’s eyes and a warmth blooming over his body. He tried ducking his face deeper into the pillow, but that smile was hard to hide.

“Thank you for everything today. I feel like I don’t say it much, but I appreciate all you do for us.”

Luckily his blush was easier to conceal from how dim the room was. “Anything for my girls.”

[thekrows-nest]

I’m trying to think why Gabby is so loyal to Dove. So attached that she’d try to protect them against someone identifiably ‘Off’ and linked to past trauma. Someone who, under the anger, probably scares her.

Is it literally that Dove tolerated Gabby and befriended her despite the gruff manner? Is it that she’s got LT backing her up so can afford to try and help Dove?

What would Gabby do if Krow was after Dove but LT wasn’t there to protect Gabby? Would she put herself at risk?

(This also goes for Eliyah. There is also something Not Right with him but it’s not necessarily due to him being a creature. But who knows. He could be.)

You've basically answered your own question. O:

Gabby has... difficulty in making friends. Due to some past trauma with other people, particularly in her schooling years, she has severe trust issues with other people.

As I see it, Dove saw past the prickly exterior of Gabby and gave her a chance, of which she is grateful for.

Truthfully, Krow DOES scare Gabby. She sees a wolf in sheep's clothing and doesn't get how others don't. Especially Dove. She sees someone with the potential to be very dangerous. Keep in mind too, she DOESN'T truly know if Krow's crimes.

And really, it's because Dove gave her a chance whereas many others looked at her and saw her as just a bitch undeserving of friends (she didn't become who she is over night however). Even if LT wasn't involved, Gabby would still put herself at risk to help Dove.

Krow isn't the only clever birb in this story.

(Gabby came way before Krow. I have been associating crows and ravens with her lmao)

And yeah. She has the same feelings towards Eliyah. There's definitely something ain't right about the lad, but it's different than Krow's

[bluegekk0]

does hornet like herrah

"Like" is probably the best way to put it, she does respect her as her mother, there is some love in there as well, but her memories of her are so distant that it's not a very close bond.

She moved to the White Palace very soon after hatching from her egg, so her interactions with Herrah were limited. She was too young to fully comprehend what was going on, though thankfully Vyrm was an active participant in her raising (well, as active as he could, he still had his duties and the infection problem to solve), so the actual process of moving wasn't as stressful as it could be.

She did start wondering about her mother once she grew a little older, and would ask her father questions. What was she like? Would she get along with him? Could they be a family if things were different? She never blamed Vyrm for Herrah becoming a dreamer, even if she was young she understood the gravity of the situation, and that Herrah agreed to it. But deep down she really wanted to have a complete family. WL was there for a while, before she and Vyrm separated, but she was always a distant being, she never showed Hornet motherly love, if anything, she would push her own ideas of what a princess should dress and behave like onto her, which only led to their relationship souring even further. So the lack of a mother figure, or at the very least a second parent, made Hornet feel like her family was missing something.

She eventually saw that second parent in Grimm, who began visiting the palace more and more often after WL moved out. He always treated her with kindness and affection. He'd carry her and show her fire tricks, he'd tuck her in and tell her bedtime stories if Vyrm was too exhausted to do it (which would sadly happen more and more often, his poor physical condition started to really affect his life). And above all, he was close with her father, not as close at the time as she once assumed, but it was still a comforting sight. Deep down, she saw Grimm as a parent figure, as her second father, so it's not surprising she assumed they were already partners back then.

(This is offtopic but I haven't talked about her relationship with Grimm for a while. She used to see him as a father figure when she was a child, but these days she struggles to fully accept that thought and call him "father" or "dad". Years of being of her own made her afraid of getting attached, and her anger issues make it difficult for her to not get irritated and push away the thought, especially since Grimm likes to tease her about it. So even if she does view him that way, she never articulates it and refuses to admit it whenever that idea is brought up. Grimm absolutely sees her as his daughter, which only pisses her off even more if he refers to her as such. They are otherwise on very good terms, but this aspect is still quite complicated.)

Over time, she stopped asking about Herrah as often. She was too young at the time to truly miss her now, and as she grew older, the memories became distant. She never forgot about Herrah, life simply got in the way, besides, she never expected to see her again, so why cling onto the memories?

Vyrm's disappearance changed things, she was left by herself and so started reminiscing about the past, trying to find some comfort in the memories. Instead, the memories only brought her pain. Everyone she loved was gone. Herrah was as good as dead, her father disappeared without a trace, and she hasn't seen Grimm even once afterwards. Part of her was angry at all of them for leaving her, but the anger would quickly turn into sadness. And after some time, it made her numb, believing that familiar connections would only bring her pain. A mindset that's still there in the back of her mind whenever she looks at her family members. What if one day they disappear? What if she's left all alone, again?

She did return to Deepnest to visit Herrah's resting place after Ghost ended her life, though it was clearly done out of respect more than anything. And yet, she felt sadness. Herrah was her mother, at the end of the day. Even if they never got the chance to build a close bond, she did the best she could to raise her, and for that Hornet was grateful. Although her mourning was short, and she simply moved on with her life, she never forgot about Herrah, even if it often brought her pain. She was hurting, and yet the memory was the only thing she had left.

Even now, having found her father and Grimm again, she remembers her from time to time. Would Herrah want to be a part of this family? Hornet finds it unlikely, but she chooses to believe that Herrah wouldn't disapprove of this, that she would be glad that Hornet is happy. And she is happy, happier than she's ever been. She finally got what she wanted her entire life - a complete family. Her trauma makes it complicated sometimes, but she still loves them more than anything. She only wishes that Herrah could see this, that she knew that despite the hardships, her little spider got a happy ending. Even if it turned out differently than she had hoped.

[littlerosetrove]

The point of this post is to explain why I, personally, enjoy Buck/Tommy. I’m not trying to convince or persuade anyone to feel as I do. And in that same vein, whoever reads this, if you read this all the way until the end and you’re still neutral or still dislike Buck/Tommy, honestly that’s fine. However, please do not comment or reblog to try to dissuade me from my enjoyment. If by the end of this post, whoever you are, still feels unsure about Buck/Tommy, truly that’s fine, but I’m not the person to talk to about your unease or hesitancy, okay? 

All right. 

I’ll state it up front that, yes, Buck/Tommy did happen a bit quickly. I agree, but it doesn’t really bother me. Allow me to explain and elaborate. I’ll be jumping around talking about Buck, Buck/Tommy and just Tommy, so bare with me.

For starters, I’m just happy to see Buck so giddy, excited, and happy about a love interest. The last time we’ve seen Buck remotely like this was with Abby. So it’s just a refreshing thing to witness and frankly for Buck to experience. Once Buck got past admitting, “oh yeah, my date was with a guy,” Buck was so excited to talk about Tommy with Maddie, someone very important to him. As well, I don’t think any previous love interests have looked so charmed and smitten with Buck the way Tommy does. On that note. Tommy has seen Buck be goofy, jealous, inquisitive, awkward, nervous, sweet, honest, a little bit of a mess, and still thought, “yeah, I’m attracted to this one.” <3

Now I fully recognize that Buck is not suddenly fixed by having gone on one official date with Tommy. Certainly not. Buck most definitely still has plenty of issues to work through, and on some level, probably always will because - just look at his past. Now I don’t know how long Buck is going to be with Tommy, but I don’t think there’s any inherent harm in Buck, even with his issues, dating Tommy for a little while. I don’t see it as Buck doing some kind of irrevocable damage to himself or Tommy if they just date for a bit. Yes, at some point Buck should be on his own and do some self reflection (which he struggles with), but until then? I’d just like to see Buck continue to be excited to get to know Tommy, and work on figuring out how he feels about his uncovered queerness. 

Tommy is a breath of fresh air in many ways to me. A big thing is that he already had a connection to the 118. He’s a firefighter and also air rescue, thus can understand and click with Buck on a major and important level. Abby was a first responder, yes, but she too like all other past love interests of Buck’s were still pretty much disconnected from Buck’s friends, family, and his job. They were almost always separate. Then we can add on the fact that Tommy is friends with Eddie, which is another big connecting point for Buck and Buck and Tommy in general. Hell, Tommy has already met Christopher who already appears to like Tommy, too. The only previous girlfriend of Bucks that met Christopher was Taylor Kelly of all people, and I doubt Chris and Taylor interacted all that much since Eddie and Buck were there as buffers. Plus that dinner was for Eddie’s sake more than anyone else. To be clear about Bucks previous relationships, Abby was an interesting character that I liked, but I was certainly not impressed with her ghosting Buck and then not really apologizing for that. Ali was perfectly fine, but she was barely there, so there was no time or reason to get attached. Taylor Kelly is the only one I hate and do I really need to explain why? Natalia was fine I guess. She was hardly developed, so I certainly never got attached to her. We never understood why she liked Buck beyond him dying. She was also very much a “no homo” insert, but that’s just me. In addition, the only compelling relationship Buck has had up to this point was with Abby. There was nothing to grasp onto for Ali or Natalia, and please tell me what was compelling or fun to watch about Taylor and Buck being in an unhealthy and miserable relationship. Idk, maybe if I’d watched season 4 live, I might have felt a little more open towards Taylor and Buck and their friendship, but I kinda doubt it. When I did watch it all I could think of was, “why does Buck want to be friends with Taylor Kelly of all people so bad?” But anyway. Tommy is the first love interest of Bucks that I actually like, without any hesitation. He’s just a good guy, and a little bit silly (fake mouth static you’ll always be famous). Though some people ignore it, Tommy did change in season 2. Yes he started out as a jerk, someone just going with the bad flow of the firehouse (and to protect himself), but he did change from that. I think in his last episode of season 2 it shows him being on much better terms with Hen and Chimney. They threw him a “moving to Harbor” party! In present times? Tommy’s clearly more at ease, confident, friendly, charming, sweet, has shown vulnerability, is honest, social, mature, and helped Hen and Chimney at the drop of a hat - at the risk of being suspended or fired - to save Athena and Bobby. I’m sure I can list off more traits and interesting attributes, but you get it. To me Tommy already has a lot of personality and I do look forward to discovering and learning more about him. And that’s an important thing, that I’m interested in Tommy as a character. I’m not trying to be a dick, but I couldn’t say the same for most of Buck’s previous love interests (nor Eddie’s). 

And sure Buck needed some nudging from Eddie to not give up on Tommy, but he did actively reach out to and meet up with Tommy, and was honest about where he is in all this, you know? That’s a key thing, Buck being more active. He passively fell into every other relationship he’s been in. That’s not me dismissing those relationships, because Buck did learn something from each. I’m pointing out an important difference. Buck, before Tommy kissed him at the loft and when they met up at the cafe, has been quite open and honest with Tommy. At least on screen, idk when Buck has been quite this upfront about stuff at the start of things, so to speak, with a love interest. That’s progress for Buck. Perhaps not massive, but it’s not nothing. 

Like. Buck just discovered a whole new and big part of himself. He discovered this missing piece of him that’s eluded him for so long (basically his whole life). He’s going to be messy about it. But just because he’s going to be a bit off balance about it doesn’t mean he shouldn’t date someone (re: Tommy) right now. Tommy is aware that this is all new for Buck (side note: here’s a link to a post that talks about the nuance of Tommy, while gentle with Buck, was a bit annoyed at the end of their date and wanted to leave, which was fair and valid. it’s a good read). At the same time, as I mentioned early on in the post, I also think that yeah, at some point Buck does need to be on his own to do some much needed self reflection. Until then, damn, I just want him to try out this sweet thing he has going with Tommy. 

And yeah, I just think Buck and Tommy are cute together. I do think they have chemistry (which was lacking/absent in some of Bucks previous relationships). I’m intrigued by the potential they have together, even knowing they’re not meant for something long term, and that’s okay. Even for a short time they still can have a good and happy time. And in my ideal world, they’ll remain friends when they part ways.  

If I had to attempt to sum this all up… I find Tommy interesting on his own, and I like what I’ve seen with Buck and Tommy together. I’m thrilled to see Buck so into and smitten with Tommy, since we haven’t seen Buck like this since Abby. Buck and Tommy are cute and refreshing to watch. Plus, I want to see Tommy stick around and not just for Buck, but because of his friendship with Eddie, and to see him continue to? properly? reconnect with Chimney, Hen, and Bobby. 

If you read till the end, thanks! Even now I feel like I probably missed explaining something haha.

[randomfandomblabdom]

I have so many issues with the Anastasia musical...

It seems to me that the writers put certain moments in the musical simply because moments like that happened in the movie but instead of comprehending why those moments worked in the first place, they made what they most likely assumed would be small insignificant changes that only ended up fucking with the narrative as a whole.

One of the best examples of this is Dimitri and Anya's dance lesson during Learn to Do It. This takes place far too early in the show for it to mean anything substantial. The dance lesson happens at a very specific point in the film and has an equally specific purpose narratively. It is only after a time jump montage during Learn to Do It where it's implied Anya, Dimitri, and Vlad spend anywhere from several days to several weeks traveling together, that Dimitri and Anya's dynamic naturally shifts into something warmer than what it was several scenes ago. You, as the audience, do not question this shift because you know, subconsciously, that they've been spending a lot of time together and have developed a deeper relationship and possible romantic feelings for each other as a result. It's given its due time to make sure you as well as the characters understand that. The musical has no deeper meaning or realization attached to it as the two characters haven't spent a substantial amount of time together where those subconscious blanks would be filled in for you. Trust me, I understand that time jumps can be difficult to do convincingly in a stage production but this is live theater, you need to get creative about these things... or move Learn to Do It further back in the show. Yes, there's a line of dialogue that implies that it's been at least a couple of days but that's harder to grasp when there are no visuals to support it. It feels like Learn to Do It happens over the course of several hours. Instead of two people who have been traveling together for implied days/weeks and have become friends realizing their feelings towards each other may have shifted into more romantic territory, it feels like acquaintances realizing they merely find the other person attractive or perhaps not as bad as they thought. The musical takes all of the build-up and context and mashes it into one number that doesn't end up working the way I think the writers thought it would. I wouldn't mind the dance being so early on if Dimitri and Anya were given any other moment of realization that was allowed to breathe. And don't say In a Crowd of Thousands...

Speaking of, I love that song. It's gorgeous. It's become one of my favorite Broadway love songs of all time, I've been listening to it non-stop for the past week. Does that mean I'm peachy about the changes that were made just because it's connected to a pretty song? Hell no. I have sooooo many problems with that scene as a whole. I'm not gonna waste my time talking about the changed backstory, I'm sure that and how it completely diluted the story has been discussed at length and I'm fully aware that changes must be made when transferring media from one medium to another - animated movie musical to live stage production in this case - but these changes are just absurd to me. Dimitri literally just told Anya to essentially make up her side of his story as if she truly was the princess Anastasia riding by in that parade all those years ago. His bowing could very easily be something she just made up on the spot and convinced herself it was a real memory, Dimitri's reaction to it would be enough to tell her it was. They've been trying to convince her she is Anastasia, she may be just convincing herself things she learned actually happened to her at this point. Not to mention, yes, Dimitri didn't tell her that detail of the story but of course, a commoner would bow to royalty, how does that prove anything to him? It doesn't help that he just told her his side of the story which could easily influence her line of thinking. In the film, not only is Anya's memory of the boy opening a wall something she couldn't have guessed or made up even if she tried, proving beyond all doubt to Dimitri that she's the real deal but the subject of the princess's possible survival is not something that has come up before as evidenced by Vlad and Dimitri's nervous reactions when Sophie (Lily) asks that question. Nothing is influencing her thinking there. The whole interaction in the stage production makes it seem like Dimitri just suddenly falls in love with her because he just found out she's the princess when the film makes it abundantly clear that he is so far gone for her long before that information comes to light, their romantic tension fuels the dramatic tension once that's revealed. Both adaptations have an almost kiss and unfortunately, only one of these adaptations puts it before that revelation. In the film, it follows the dance lesson sequence. In the musical, it’s placed directly after that big revelation and it just feels… kinda wrong.

I think I'm gonna stop there. I have so many thoughts written out that I could probably write a multi-page essay on this and maybe I'll make a full post on it but I needed to get at least some of my thoughts out before my head exploded and those are some of the things that were most prominently sitting on the tip of my tongue. I could go on for hours about how the music box was entirely misused, the total misunderstanding of the song Once Upon a December, how the Empress's choice given to Anya towards the end is almost explicitly about Dimitri instead of how it's explicitly about her granddaughter's happiness in the film, and don't even get me started on how Anya realizing she's Anastasia at the same time as Dimitri kinda fucks with the last 15-30 minutes of the story...

It's all so disappointing honestly because this musical had all the groundwork to become a phenomenal show - good songs, a good story, a good romantic duo, fans who grew up with the film - and, in the right hands, I truly think it could've become a Best Musical winner but instead, it turned out to feel like an amateur production on a Broadway stage with two really likable lead actors that had really good chemistry together and ended up doing most of the legwork for getting people to look over the fact that it wasn't nearly as good as it could've been. In all honesty, I did not realize how tightly written the film is until I started picking apart the musical and now I think the film is one of the best-written animated films in Western media.

This isn't meant to bash anyone who enjoys the musical. You don't have to agree with me. I do genuinely enjoy parts of the show and think it did certain things well. Christy Altomare and Derek Klena were absolutely perfect casting, I like some of the added songs, Journey to the Past happening when they get to Paris and Meant to Be happening before the ballet are outstanding placements for both songs, the costume design was more or less gorgeous, and I do think excluding all of the supernatural aspects was the right call...etc. but those are just some of my scrambled thoughts on why I have such an issue with the writing in this show.

[kasunex]

I've noticed there is a position being held by some fans of Coffin of Andy and Leyley that the game's reputation for incest is underserved. The logic being that there is only one time to this point that is explicitly sexual between the siblings, and it's something that comes only at the hitherto end and is behind multiple warnings.

To some extent, this is a fair point to make, and I am somewhat saddened that a game so intriguing and audacious is dismissed as shock content or gooner bait. Such is the price to be paid, though.

While it does raise interesting questions about how close siblings can be before they cross the line, even without the ending in question, incest is an extremely prevelant subtext throughout the game. It may not be as explicit otherwise, but one would have to be willfully ignorant to deny it underlies the core conflict of the story.

Ashley absolutely desires Andrew in an incestous manner. It's not necessarily motivated by sexual or romantic feelings, but her fear of abandoment means she wants to be his first and only priority. There is no other way to do that then by breaking down the boundaries of a sibling relationship into a romantic one. Lacking in a conscience as she is, she doesn't care that he is her brother. If anything, she likely sees this as a positive. A lover could cut ties and leave her. Her brother, in some sense, will always be tied to her. All she need do is break the boundary between sibling and lover and she will have total control over Andrew.

When you get past the natural disgust and the genetic issues, this is the real problem with incest. It twists and perverts between what is meant to be an unbreakable but purely platonic bond and a romantic one that is meant to be stronger, but also held together by consent rather than blood. The strength and yet danger of romance makes it incredibly toxic to be held together by anything else.

Which brings us to Andrew. He's the variable in this situation. He is deeply attached to Ashley as his sister, but some part of him also desires that same incestous bond that Ashley does. The difference between the two is that Andrew feels some semblance of remorse and shame. He knows that Ashley is controling and lacking in conscience, he knows the bond she wants is morally wrong and destructive, and he blames her for tempting him towards sin.

And yet, if Andrew had no desire for such himself, he would have cut Ashley off long ago. But he hasn't. He's allowed their relationship to grow and fester. This, I think, is part of why he spares Ashley's life at the end of Ep1. He knows deep down he cannot blame Ashley for his own sinful desires. Yet at the same time, he cannot escape these desires unless he cuts Ashley out of his life entirely, something he is unwilling to do.

Where does this all lead, ultimately? That question all comes down to the one major unknown at this point: why does Andrew desire Ashley in the first place? Is it brotherly instinct, perverted by Ashley's influence? Is it a despair, a self-loathing unwillingness to escape her, a thought that she is what he deserves? Or does he desire Ashley on some more fundamental level even outside her influence?

If it is the first, and Andrew truly loves Ashley in a selfless manner, they'll go their seperate ways. If Andrew is self-loathing and doesn't keep himself in check, he may well end up killing Ashley in an effort to escape her. Or perhaps if it is a fundamental desire, they will cross so many lines that Andrew will lose hope for himself and give into his degenerate and sinful desires, he and Ashley becoming an incestous couple.

Or it could be some combination, of course. Perhaps embracing his desire is exactly what Andrew needs to discover what he wants. Perhaps they will cross the line, only for Andrew to realize he was wrong to cling so tightly to Ashley and leave her - at which point Ashley will either have to accept his loss or drive herself to the grave to fight it.

It's a deeply fascinating dynamic, and the incest aspect is a core part that adds a new layer to what would otherwise be an interesting but far less unique toxic "romance". This game is absolutely about incest at the core, but it's not just shock value, nor is it festishization. It's about how destructive such a relationship would actually be, and how broken one would need be to pursue it.

[velveetacrackncheese]

I know it's been like forever, but are you still a fan of Viv and her work

Honestly when it comes to her, no. Even if there's some things I've learned to appreciate in some of her more recent stuff (Except Hazbin S1, I thought it was genuinely awful and the more I think about it the more disappointed I truly am with it.) my main gripe is that it seems that Viv still treats people like crap. My opinion of her has continuously waned over the years from someone who was obsessed and having had a parasocial relationship with her and her work, to the point where I felt obligated to defend her for the sake of the "fandom" back then. Pretty wack behavior coming from myself honestly, and like I said I was a prick! I treated naysayers and critics of ZP like garbage, and while there was venom being flung towards me and other fans as well, some of it also being cruel and uncharitable, I can't pretend I didn't contribute to the toxic culture emanating from her fanbase. It's very interesting to see that the more modern incarnation of Viv's fanbase is arguably still just as toxic, but on a bigger scale. People no matter where you go, and regardless of when in time, seems to have a strong opinion of her. Either love her to death or hate her to the point where that becomes its own obsession. Well, unless you've actually had a connection with her, it seems like you're either one of her favorites, or someone who she burnt bridges with.

There's of course the genuine non-drama stuff, like ohhhh fuck dude, she drew some weirdo shit which I could honestly care less about. There's reasons to not like her, and it isn't that. It's not even really her work period, but more so allegations regarding how she's difficult to work with, cruel to certain past associates to an almost comical degree, and is still pretty uncharitable to even her most charitable critics. The stuff with KenDraws kinda was the nail in the coffin for me, transphobia is not going to get a pass from me, sorry! I don't know how true this is in particular, but how The Hunicast was treated after the Hazbin pilot also left me with a pretty real sense of disgust. It's wild seeing a show like Hazbin Hotel flourish through A24 and Amazon, all the while trying its damn hardest to cleanse itself of its indie roots. Apparently donations to the Hunicast was used to fund the pilot, and after the pilot it kinda seemed like Viv just didn't really appreciate how much they contributed to that project. Honestly, I don't think Hazbin would be what it is today without The Hunicast.

That, and of course there being all the dollcreep stuff, the way that the fandom at the time wrongfully demonized dollcreep and took Viv for her word to the T, following what was a highly uncharitable read from fans which led to harassment despite the drama between the two being personal, and that being made into a public concern when it reallllllllllly should not have been. Transphobia also being an abundant issue in this regard. JoJo as a character was created as an extremely petty way to bash Jo and in hindsight, is incredibly revolting, and ohhhhh also transphobic. The Erin Frost situation, in which of course featured Viv devotees to also take her testimony as uncharitable and lies despite having never worked with Viv herself. Employees being paid like... what, $35.00 per second of animation which is crazy. So not only a toxic work environment, that toxicity just festering cuz Viv herself is toxic. Her tendency to seemingly just bully the people she surrounds herself with, hell even getting people blacklisted apparently? I'm sure there's a lot more I can get into in all honesty, and what's being mentioned here is barely scratching the surface! There was a point in time where I had agreements with what were, back then, blogs dedicated to critiquing Zoophobia and in hindsight, yes, there was a lot to rightfully criticize. Lot of stuff in that webcomic was genuinely not great and despite the immature attachments that I had back then, there were points I'd openly conceded to. Which led to Viv blocking me, and that led to me being pretty sad! Honestly thought I'd did something wrong or that I like... "Betrayed" her which is fucking insane. It was something I ruminated on for literal weeks. I look at my older posts on here and it's so fuckin clear that I was not mentally stable, at least to me, and that was reflected in the wild ass shit I was saying. I'm glad I've changed but dear god I was such an asshole, and it's crazy to think that I was some kind of figurehead in the fandom at that time. Nobody should've been looking up to me, cuz holy shit I was a stupid teenager.

Also, generally speaking, this doesn't have much to do with Viv as a person as much as the early fan community surrounding her work that existed from like 2015 into 2018, particularly on tumblr, but I'd developed relationships with other people in the fandom that led to some pretty traumatizing experiences for myself and for others that I knew personally. I won't get into details about that, but the culture for the fandom at the time housed some SERIOUSLY sketchy people, and there were people who were just open and active groomers. Zero accountability for any of that btw, yeah awesome fucking community, guys. "Like and Reblog if you're a true fan." jfc.

So uh, yeah. Naw I can't say I'm much of a fan, and I'm not convinced that she's actually some nice, pleasurable person, who conveniently stumbles into situations where her alleged good nature is CONSTANTLY put into question due to actions that are pretty well documented and accounted for. I've still watched Helluva Boss episodes, although at this point it feels like I'm beating myself because I've progressively grown more disenchanted with it as time has passed on. Despite that, it's still Spindlehorse's best stuff. I say Spindlehorse in particular because while I don't really respect Vivienne, I respect the crew who are the backbone of those episodes. Hazbin has some narrative themes that I'm not particularly fond of, the pacing is a mess, and the character writing is not good. Characters have entire musical numbers dedicated to them despite either serving a very minor role in the story or just being absent for the entirety of the season. I'd go on and list my gripes with ZP, but it feels weird to bash something that is nearly a decade old now. Probably doesn't represent Vivienne's current capacity for craftsmanship, visually speaking, and in regards to the writing; Were I to go back and review what those old critique blogs had to say, I'd probably add onto them instead of being as dismissive as I was.

Also, something I can attest to personally, and you'll have to take me for my word on this, but I used to be a $50 patron to her Patreon. One of the benefits was that you got to be a part of her discord server where she'd chat with fans once a month and I got to be in a few of those vc chats. I recall her being petty even then, and if my memory doesn't fail me, there was a time where she like... called someone's older brother a f*ggot because he insulted Kesha and her general preferences in music lmfao. She genuinely got upset and all teary over that confrontation and ended the call early, and the other people in the vc were tryna comfort her. Looking back that now, feels so.... weird. Shit, I mean charging people so they have the chance to just talk to you, monetizing that feels weird, and kinda gross. Wish I could have my money back for that, ngl. No Bueno.