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#thats not very healthy and its not doing either of them any good
florelia12 · 2 years
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So I’ve been thinking a lot about avoidant attachment styles since I’ve discovered I fall under that category like our beloved Helia hence an essay on his avoidant attachment style:
Its no secret that i love the comics and the Helia arc in The Trial comics. I think what I love about that comic is how florelia’s relationship is developed and depicted.
So, one of the characteristic of an avoidant is deciding to end a relationship without really communicating why. Helia did that to Flora after deciding that she deserved better than how he treated her, and that he wasn’t good enough for her or for red fountain. He decided for the both of them that this wasn’t going to work out because he’s not good enough. Flora didn’t get to have a say or to even confirm whether that was true because he just waltzed right out of there and cut contact.
So, he leaves and like decides to not contact anyone. After a few days of crying, Flora managed to contact him…He starts by saying that he doesn’t want to talk but she cuts him off and says I get it if you don’t want to be around me right now. “I accept that even if i don’t understand.”
When she offers her help to find him a place to stay, it was her offering the help without any strings. Which was why he took it (he was also kinda desperate). After he says yes, she even says okay thats it you can hang up if you want without forcing him to talk about whats wrong.
Then its Helia who speaks up and says hey this is kind of why im behaving this way. She senses an opening and tries asking if they can fix things. He’s not ready yet and so he says no, which she respects and hangs up the phone.
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Flora then finds him once he’s settled down. Now, this could have been a manipulative move. Her taking advantage of the fact that he had no choice but to take up the rental room that she found for him so that she can force him out of his self-imposed exile and force a conversation.
However, when Helia tries to apologise because its the decent thing to do, Flora stops him and says he doesn’t have to talk about it if he doesn’t want to. She recognises his need for space right but also knows that he needs a friend right now. So, she offers exactly that and Helia accepts it.
This may seem contradictory since why is he accepting help when he’s an avoidant who’s hyper independent and wants to be able to meet his own needs. But, the reason people become avoidant is because at some crucial point in their life, their emotional needs weren’t met and the only way they could receive that was by seeking it out themselves, something that requires a lot of energy that unfortunately ends up with them not having any energy left to help meet someone else’s needs.
But, what Flora did was meet his needs while letting him know she didn’t expect anything in return. This takes a weight off his shoulders, and he feels secure enough with her promises to accept her help. Because right now, there is no expectation on him that he needs to meet which is the exact thing he ‘ran’ away (expectations he’s worried he can’t fulfil).
Then they’re okay for a while, and they can go on dealing with the matters at hand which is fixing up his apartment.
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After a while, when things are going okay and he feels safe and secure. Helia opens up to her. They communicate. She understands.
Then comes the moment that didn’t really sit well with me at first but now I kind of understand.
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At first I felt like why is she asking him about their relationship when he’s clearly going through hell about something else, isn’t that a little selfish when she said she’s okay if they don’t talk about it?
But, then I realised that Helia’s needs were met when Flora gave him the space he needed and accepted and understood him.
Right now…She’s asking for reassurance. She feels secure enough with him to ask for reassurance because she needs it right now.
This expectation, its a normal reaction. Its not her asking for something unreasonable. Even the way she phrases it is, do you want to end things? Is this what you need?
Not, oh lets get back together or why did you do that to me. Not blaming him for his actions. ( She even said she forgave him ). Not victimising herself.
Since Helia’s needs were met and he feels secure enough right now, he was able to meet her needs and so he offers her the reassurance she needed.
Which was this iconic moment…
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I almost forgot the important part but when conflict strikes again…
Helia receives sus information about Flora and is struggling to figure out whether to believe it or not. Because he’s been tricked once, and now its happening again? Is he gullible? Is he the problem? He’s not good enough is he? A good specialist won’t fall for tricks so easily, right?
Flora senses the struggles and approaches, she’s panicky so she kind of starts seeking reassurance like what’s wrong? What’s going on? Talk to me!
This time he doesn’t walk away, he doesn’t avoid. He feels safe. He knows he can trust her because she’s proven that he is safe with her. He can trust his own instincts. Even if he was gullible, he made a mistake and trusted the wrong thing again, he knows he can communicate it with Flora because he feels safe enough to do it.
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He reassures her that he trusts her. Then, they solve the problem. Together.
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I just absolutely love this entire arc because its a realistic and somewhat healthy way of being in a relationship with someone who has an avoidant attachment style.
I’ve been seeing alot about this avoidant/attachment style and majority of it just straight up villainises the avoidant. I even saw someone say that “anxious people are expected to accommodate avoidants but avoidants aren’t really expected to accommodate for the anxious partner.” Which will always be true in some cases but is not what the general avoidant or anxious attachment style actually needs.
Its not exactly space that the avoidant needs (thats the coping mechanism), its safety and security. Just like someone with an anxious attachment style. Seeking reassurance is their coping mechanism, the solution is the safety and security that is offered. Accommodating someone’s coping mechanism is never a long-term solution, only healing can give you the peace you need.
Now, i did use to think that Flora had an anxious attachment style but I think she’s more secure. Like she needs reassurance, she struggles with her insecurities. But, you don’t really see her actively seeking it out very often. She understands most of the time when people want to be left alone. While she might struggle to give herself the reassurance she needs, she understands when someone else can’t give it to her at that moment.
Is she avoidant, on the other hand…i might have to sit on that a little but I’d love to know if anyone has any thoughts on that:)
This whole thing is so hard to navigate but people can sure learn a thing or two from fictional characters.
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aurae-rori · 3 months
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Wanna ask if you have any headcannons for aventio modern au
( cause I am obsessed with modern aus)
hellyeah brother i'm here to serve the masses
hcs about ratio:
still a doctor still has 8 phds
knows about student debt and hates it with a burning passion
has a duck keychain that he puts on his keychain with all of his keys like the keys to his house
once crushed a soda can in his hands during his student years bcs he was that fucking mad about the homework questions not being stated in a clear manner (he just like me fr)
has several duck plushies in his bed and theyre all named after either greek philosophers or roman politicians
can speak latin fluently and mutters curse words and creative expressions in latin during the classes that he teaches because he is that pissed off
used to be a full time doctor, but decided to turn to teaching instead after some time
hyper-empathy due to childhood neglect (he just like me fr)
eyebags that he covers up with makeup, he still has those from his student years and cant fucking get them to leave no matter how many hours he sleeps for
enjoys occasionally a rum & coke
really likes lattes and london fogs
had a british accent once because he travelled to the uk and picked up on it, when he came back he was mortified
fucking loves ducks so much he has a camera roll dedicated to duck photos
he got to pet a duck once he was happy for the rest of the week thats how much he loves them
massive nerd & dork
undiagnosed autism with a side of gifted child trauma
really likes jazz and lofi it calms him down fast and makes him happy
wrings his hands when he's really happy
touch starved
makes really good soup
hopeless romantic
more mentally unstable than you think he is. he is actually suffering from burnout but doesnt want to let people around him down.
doing his best. sometimes on the weekends he just nestles into a cocoon of blankets and refuses to leave. texture....
cannot not wear socks he will die without them
cat magnet for some reason??? all neighbourhood cats are at his doorstep even when he and aven already have three. ig hes just cat dad now
aventurine hcs:
still has those glasses, his eyes are more sensitive to light too
really fucking likes fluffy stuff he loves the fluffy he loves the fluffy he-
big fan of sheep and peacocks
eternally terrified that ratio secretly hates him even when they start dating
bpd & adhd & probably autism (ALL BPD HAVERS FUCKING WIN WITH THIS ONE!!!!! I SEE YALL)
masks so often its insane
used to smoke and drink heavily, but has started to lay off ever since he met ratio
still an adrenaline junkie and still has his stupidly good good luck
really likes coffee too, coffee addict, has horrible eyebags, a shitty sleep schedule, and overworks himself half to death
cant fucking cook what the hell is a kitchen
very fond of stelle/caelus and sees them as his surrogate younger siblings. stelle taught him how to play video games and now he plays with them whenever his thoughts get really bitchy to him
horrible at relying on other people but is slowly unlearning that
can do a backflip (why? idk)
high pain tolerance
has a collection of sheep plushies that his friends bought for him
numby and him get along really well. he and topaz still have that sibling esque relationship.
i think he still works for the ipc in this au but its not as bad as it is in canon
starved of touch and does not really know what a healthy relationship is before ratio comes along
loves blankets he has like ten blankets on his bed at once idk why
once poured monster energy into coffee and then drank it. he suffered the consequences. even good luck can't save you from that
listens to generic pop (lie. he actually loves indie guitar)
MENTAL ILLNESS REP IN THIS MAN
accidentally big brothered some kids. help how does he deal with affection
buys stuff for stelle and caelus too. he buys them sheep plushies. they will defend said sheep plushies with their lives. they buy him racoon plushie in return. he does not cry.
his fingers shake so bad sometimes (PTSD goes hard)
motor skills can and will die on him occasionally
unhealthy coping mechanisms but hes getting better guys
he does relapse occasionally but hes putting in effort. finally got his ass to therapy thanks to ratio :)
second cat dad. he loves his cat children he will die for his cat children.
the cats like laying next to him as he eeps if ratio isnt there. they purr and help him with his nightmares.
(ily people w bpd you deserve this rep!!! enjoy :3)
them together hcs!!!!
ratio already had background information on bpd due to his psych degree beforehand but did more researching into it when he realized that aven had bpd because he wanted to support his partner as much as he could :)
ratio is big on physical touch but aven needed some time to get used to it and he was very big on it
aven really likes spoiling the absolute shit out of ratio and likes getting him gifts because sometimes he doesn't know how to word how much he appreciates ratio
aven likes to wash ratios hair for him and visa versa, non sexual intimacy always fucking wins
ratio still worries about aven and doesn't like him gambling all the time, aven makes an active effort to better himself for him even if it's really hard
at the start it was really fucking shitty between the two of them but eventually aven started to learn how to properly and safely communicate with ratio and ratio learned how to phrase his thoughts in a way that wouldn't trigger something, and although they both make mistakes they are doing their best for one another and generally have a good impact on one another's stages of healing (im not projecting im not projecting i-)
aven will hold ratio in his arms and tell him that he's good enough when the thoughts get really bad
they love cuddling, who's big spoon and small spoon switches regularly because they both like being held and holding the other
aven will stop by ratio after his classes and take him home when hes too tired
ratio shuts down sometimes and aven messes with his hair and just stays with him until he reboots
they kiss <33333333333
they cuddle so much they hold one another going to bed
ratio likes giving aven little headkisses and peppers his face with them
they are gay and in love and healthy actually
they were never toxic yaoi never will they be. they are healthy.
they get married <333
this is so much more than what you asked for probably but here you go.
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dollcherray · 6 months
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Greetings!! Humbly requesting for Yandere!Miss Grace headcanons, if I may?
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✮⋆˙ THE PRINCIPAL ୨୧
Yandere Miss Grace x Reader
A/N: yup, same reason as the yandere Mister Demi, you are a teacher in this, i hc the principal to be like the teachers for very obvious reasons.
TW: Yandere topics, killing mentions, manipulation, isolation, kidnapping mentions (it doesnt actually occurs tho), guilt tripping, remember: this is not normal nor healthy always stay way from individuals who act like this.
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୨୧ Miss Grace is probably the 2nd worst person to have as a yandere in that whole school... since she's the principal and has full control of the school, including the teachers of course.
୨୧ You would probably catch Miss Grace's attention if you were hard working and probably cold hearted towards the students or were just insanely unlucky and it was love at first sight.
୨୧ Miss Grace right off the bat would be really controlling since the day you two start to be close, if you get too close to any of the teachers, the teacher would either disappear or avoid you suddenly.
୨୧ She doesnt wanna take any risks of you possibly falling in love with someone or someone falling in love with you, it would be too much trouble to get rid of pests like that (in her words)
୨୧ if someone does fall in love with you or you fall in love with someone, she would go off her way to get rid of them, maybe not herself, but she will eventually get rid of them sooner or later.
୨୧ Miss Grace wouldnt be really touchy or something like that, so i think her love language would be quality time or acts of service, she wants to show you that even though she is the principal of a murder school she can be a tad decent.
୨୧ Miss Grace is possessive, dangerous, obsessive and manipulative, she would often manipulate you into staying more with her than the others, like Oliver but in a way that you dont really notice.
୨୧ You cant leave, even if you tried, you wouldnt be able to, she would have no problem in threatening you or potentially harming you, psychologically or physically, doesnt matter, she will teach a lesson if needed to, but you wouldnt try to leave her, right? :)
୨୧ How to avoid her brutal and cold side? obey her, give your attention and affection only to her and no one else and you'll get to see her soft side, she may look tough but she will give you affection if you give her affection first.
୨୧ She has favoritism with you and doesnt hide it, not a bit, even if you ask her if she has favoritism with you she would straight up say "yes", thats another way of her showing her love for you, isnt that good?
୨୧ i dont think she would go out of her way to kidnap you or something, she already has you trapped with her in school, thats already enough to her, so dont worry, you still have your privacy privileges.
୨୧ If you try to confront her about her obsessive behavior towards you, she will have no problem in manipulating you and using the guilt tripping card too, saying that she does that to protect you and because she loves you very much, and its works most of the time, she is a very smart woman, after all, if she wasnt smart she wouldnt be the principal now, would she?
୨୧ “They'll never love you like i do.”
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miasmaghoul · 2 months
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whos the best ghoul cook? do you think they have any weird eating quirks (like water ghouls eating raw fish, mountain chewin on his terra cotta plant pots, fire ghouls needing to eat more bc of higher body temp, anything like that)?
Did I ever tell you guys that I earned a scholarship to culinary school? I couldn't go, but cooking and baking remain passions of mine that I do NOT get to talk about enough.
But now you've given me an excuse >:)
So here, a BUNCH of my cooking (and favorite food) headcanons for the ghouls and Papas alike!
(There's some murder ghoul content here, mostly in Alpha's section - couldn't help myself 😌)
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Aeon isn't one for cooking. Loves eating food, certainly, but not making it. He's more of a snacker, partly because it's more convenient but mostly because he doesn't have the attention span to do much more than microwave instant noodles. He's not picky though, will eat whatever is put in front of him as long as someone else has prepared it. Also doesn't have much of a sweet tooth, more of a salty/savory guy. Favorite foods include hot cheetos, thick cut beef jerky (good to gnaw), and whatever appears on his plate at meal times.
Aether is a ghoul of simple tastes. He'll cook when he has the time, but it's going to be one of his four go-to recipes every time. Always some format of protein + starch + veg, with a complementary sauce. He meal preps every weekend after his retirement so he can have easy meals to microwave and eat in the infirmary. Isn't the biggest fan of cooking with company, unless they're willing to stay out of the kitchen and not interrupt his routine. Has a weak spot for bananas. Favorite meal is one-pan roasted chicken, potatoes and asparagus with rosemary and garlic from Mountain’s garden.
Alpha does not cook, wouldn't dream of it. He doesn't even deign to eat human food most of the time, turns his nose up at it when offered. He likes his meat raw, and wants to hunt it himself so he can feel the blood run down his chin. Any prey is fair game - if he finds you in the woods, you'd better hope you can outrun him. (You cannot.) Favorite foods include the flesh and organs of anything with a pulse.
Aurora likes the idea of cooking, but in practice...well, she tries. She's impatient, is the problem - what do you mean simmer for 20 minutes? She's hungry now! She inevitably rushes everything she makes, no matter how much input she gets from the others, and has yet to learn her lesson. She also has a MASSIVE sweet tooth, they can't keep enough sugary snacks in the pantry as far as she's concerned. Favorite foods include spaghetti with butter and cheese (one of the only things she can always get right), boxed brownies and any kind of fruity candy she can get her paws on.
Cirrus can cook pretty well, if she says so herself, but it's rare that she does it for anyone but herself. She has very particular tastes, and doesn't want to have to adapt them for others. She loves organ meat and bitter vegetables, enjoys the intensity of those flavors while the smell alone keeps most of the others away. Oh well, more for her! She'll eat anything thats made for her though, especially if its served on a silver platter by someone on their knees. Favorite foods (aside from the aforementioned organs) mostly include healthy things like fresh fruit and veggies, steamed shellfish and lean meat.
Cumulus is more of a baker than a cook, but enjoys any time spent in the kitchen either way. She's the type to make a day of it, in her comfiest clothes with music playing while she dances in front of the stove. Her food is never the prettiest, but it's made with love and tastes so much better for it. Her favorite things to bake are cookies and pies, but she doesn't eat many sweets herself. Prefers seeing the others enjoy them. Favorite foods include homemade bread (she has a sourdough starter named Breadly) with lots of butter and flaky salt, anything citrus-forward and wants her proteins heavily spiced (not spicy, she has a low tolerance, but loves the fragrant flavors of herbs and spices).
Dewdrop doesn't advertise it, but he's one of the best ghouls to have in the kitchen. His precision and attention to detail are second to none, and while it doesn't make him particularly fun to share a kitchen with it does make him an outstanding cook. He likes very intricate, involved recipes because he can use them to showcase his skills (and earn a whole bunch of praise at the dining table as a bonus). Loves spicy food, which everyone assumes is due to him now being a fire ghoul, but he's actually always enjoyed a good burn. Favorite foods include any meat served on the bone, fermented foods (kimchi and sour pickles especially) and anything smoked.
Ifrit does not know how the stove works. He survives on protein bars and any leftovers he can pilfer from the abbey kitchens. Food is not a thing he's super interested in, just takes what he needs to fuel himself, and would rather follow in Alpha's footsteps anyway. He likes to hang out at the lake every now and then with Mist, though - she'll pop up from the water every now and then with a nice plump trout to toss his way, which he will roast with his bare hands. Doesn't really have a favorite food, but does like crunchy things.
Mist, if she isn't sharing her spoils with Ifrit, will keep her catch for herself. She's small enough that one good-sized lake fish will tide her over for the day. She does prefer them raw and whole, always a bit on the feral side, but she can be convinced to join the others for sushi if the offer arises. Favorite foods include anything alive and not poisonous in the lake, and cookie dough ice cream (don't tell anyone).
Mountain is overall considered to be the best cook amongst the ghouls, and definitely has the goofy apron to prove it. Naturally skilled and adaptable, he enjoys preparing meals for his pack and will do so with anyone that wishes to lend a hand. Usually it's Cumulus or Sunshine, but they all keep him company at one point or another. He grows much of the produce used in their kitchen himself, all of it fresh and delicious, but Mountain does not eat a bite of it. He's a total carnivore - the closest he gets to eating his homegrown goodies is including them in a stew but avoiding them in his own bowl. Favorite foods include rabbit, venison and this one Vietnamese style grilled beef and rice noodle dish that Dew makes.
Omega learned to cook by osmosis, if you ask him. Time spent under three Papas will do thay to a ghoul. He doesn't cook much, but he's excellent at crafting simple, filling pasta dishes that are good for the soul (so to speak). Also treats it as an excuse to drink plenty of the good wine stashed away in the abbey's cellars - blame Terzo for that habit. Favorite meal is fresh pappardelle served with roasted tomatoes, basil and spicy sausage.
Rain doesn't cook if it involves more than the microwave, not because he can't but because he prefers to be waited on. Breakfast in bed, charcuterie plates in the afternoon, specially prepared dinners to make sure he's kept happy - none of it is necessary, but Rain can't help how much he loves being served. Good thing no one minds giving him the royal treatment. He will also indulge in the odd raw fish during a swim, but only does it beneath the surface, away from prying eyes. Favorite good is soup, any kind, but he prefers brothy ones over thick or creamy styles. If he had to pick a single favorite varitey, it would be miso.
Swiss is only allowed in the kitchen because he's good with a knife. He can burn through prep work like nobody's business, but that's where his skill set ends. He's caused one too many greasefires to he trusted at the stove, and every time he's put something in the oven he's forgotten about it until smoke filled the room and the ghoulettes had to magickally air it out. But he can chop like a food processor, so he gets the knife pass. He's another one that'll eat anything put in front of him, with one exception: eggs. Can't stand them. Favorite foods include red meat served rare, really dark, bitter chocolate and anything with hideous amounts of garlic.
Sunshine is chaos personified in the kitchen. She loves to experiment with flavors and techniques, but has yet to have anything close to a success. Pasta with pesto and pineapple (alliteration is fun), chocolate covered avocado balls (with bacon, because why not), a tuna sandwich made with coconut yogurt instead of mayo (it's healthy!) - these are but a few of the food crimes that have lost her solo access to the kitchens. This girl could burn cereal, and no one wants to see that. She does love to eat though, and will frequently hang out when someone else is cooking so she can sneak bites whatever they're making. Favorite foods include cheese (all kinds), sour candy and all the orchard fresh peaches she can get her hands on.
And for the Papas:
Primo had to learn his way around the kitchen from an early age, thanks to the responsibility of raising his younger brothers falling onto his shoulders. He learned by watching the kitchen staff - a pair of elderly Sisters with so much skill in their gnarled hands that Primo couldn't look away. He never got very good at it, mostly sticking to a handful of reliable dishes that could be made cheap and easily for the three of them. His favorite of the bunch was also the one thing he was best at making - a simple mushroom risotto.
Secondo took to the kitchen like it was second nature, once Primo could trust him to not chop a finger off. Would spend hours poring over cookbooks and learning by doing, eating his own failures so his brothers wouldn't have to. He really enjoyed making simple but hearty comfort foods, lots of rib-sticking braises and stews filled with herbs and veggies from Primo's modest garden. He even cooked the last meal they ever shared together, on that fateful Uno night. It was his favorite, a lasagna constructed from fresh sheets of pasta, homemade ricotta, spinach and a simple tomato sauce, served with roasted garlic focaccia.
Terzo did not get the cooking gene, aside from being able to boil water for his tea. It wasn't a big deal since his brothers picked up the slack, and he decided there were other things that took priority - like music, history and how to retain a full head of hair after age 30. He preferred drinking over eating anyway, mostly saw food as something to put in his stomach to cushion the wine. He was a man of simple tastes, and his favorite thing was a humble sandwich of mortadella, provolone and spicy pickled peppers.
Copia never had to learn to cook, raised by the Clergy and doted on thanks to a not-so-subtle suggestion from Sister Imperator. More than a little spoiled in that sense, he would also go on to be the most worldly Papa in terms of his tastes. So much time spent traveling the world helped to expand his palate, and he got into the habit of sending pictures and descriptions of his favorites back to the abbey so the kitchen staff could figure out how to replicate them. It's impossible for him to pick a favorite, but thanks to so much time spent in LA he does have a real soft spot for Mexican food. Tacos al pastor in particular, but without the cilantro (he has the soap gene).
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patchiko · 8 months
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You’ve been given AK Jason so much love thx ☺️ if it’s not too much… what are some of AK Jason’s comforts? Does he have comfort foods? 🥘 Does he like the sound of the rain? 🌧️ Naps on the couch ? 🛋️
Thx 🥰
ill give this man love anytime💟
and its never too much anon, i love writing for him and yall!
Comforting Ak!Jay
(IM SO PROUD OF THIS I 💟 MY AUTISM)
(ngl this also just turned into my character analysis of Ak!Jay’s psychological gymnastics from Comics ((AK Genesis & Batman: AK)) and games) (still wrote the comfort shit tho)
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hc, but i dont think any jason todds like the rain. it reminds them too much of the time he was a kid, didnt have a place to stay and went to sleep cold and wet
or when he was still young and with his family, his apartment would get flooded.
BUT ANYWAYS—
alone, i dont think jason can comfort himself very well.
beats himself for it when its over, drops him back into a spiral
just very much not healthy
HOWEVEER with someone is very different ,,
I Ramble Abt Jason Todd
post writing this, i feel like that one tweet thats like, ‘i never realized she was holding a plate of corn in this scene.’
Ak!Jays spirals or episodes come from two things, his self-esteem or self-worth, along with his lack of self-identity
Ak!Jason (Post/During AK) has a very hard time with his self worth, it solely stems from wanting to prove people wrong about himself. he obviously doesn’t like being perceived in the wrong way.
Ak!Jason (Post/During AK) says he’s move pasts his traumas, yet his identity and reasoning is constantly rooted in them, leading to so much contradictory dialogue and mental FUCKING GYMNASTICS.
ak!jay juggling if he wants to be loved by batman/batfam or wants to end it
i think he often ponders if he was better off being killed by the joker, or if he can really be redeemed from his actions as Arkham Knight by helping Gotham as Red Hood.
and if it’s enough for the people around him or someone to accept him.
if he can truly ever be loved
he has a lot of crisises about his identity and purpose more often then not b/c he cant find a reason for either besides his own anger and approval addiction.
, his biggest fear is losing, being worthless, and unwanted.
his constant drive is winning and proving himself as the best.
it causes his always feeling the need to prove himself, just so that hes wanted.
full pic is him on hid knees begging alfred for help,, my baby—-
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the first introduction of his internalized self-deprecation is with his father, other then the Arkham Knight Annual
though he rejects this “truth” in the Annual, showing his determination to prove himself more then what Bruce and the Joker idealizes him to be, I think its a good mirror into Jasons mind and what really makes him start cracking
Ex. , his biological father canonically telling him he was a loser growing up, and his mom seems to personify/objectify Jason as gothams gravitation keeping them in gotham.
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another example is the way he is talked to throughout scarecrows psychotropic
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throughout the comic and game he goes between or showing a desire for a connection with bruce and praising joker for his upbringing, then chastising them.
its very clear jason has an identity issue, with him isolating himself because he believes he is too broken (game dialogues), his need for validation stemming from his childhood, his fear of abandonment, and overall internal dilemmas of wanting a connection or not. obviously hes not good with working out his emotions on his own without doing considerably impulsive things.
jason wanting to be his own person v jason wanting to be a better person for the people in his life
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He see’s the place he was tortured as a rebirth for him, along with his plan to destroy Gotham and Bruce.(AK: Genesis)
This only comes from his desire to want his own separate identity, by ending these cycles of Bruces actions and Gothams nightmares he also believes that he will be truly free.
his only true identification with himself is anger and resentment, being built, gravitated, and broken by anger. feeling like hes always losing or lost, and his desire to just win something and therefore be wanted
okay to stop a fuckton of more rambling jason todd, abandoment issues, jealousy/obsession issues, need for connection, validation, relationships, self-destructive isolation, brainwashing induced perception issue, intense mood swings which also cause perception issues.
i guess it could try to be argued that Jason doesn’t actually want validation bc he got over the psychotropic; but i disagree with the way he constantly talks about being underestimated and feeling like he has to prove himself throughout the comics and his dialogue with Barbra in game.
i also want to make it clear that throughout the ak!comics he does help civilians so it does really have morality for other people. He does separate Gothams Gravity from the people, and claims the worst of the worst (villains and such) are the people who succumb to gotham.
(im only stopping bc im on mobile and couldn’t put anymore pictures)
im so upset.
theres so much i didnt get to talk abt
Ok Actually Comforting
so its pretty god damn hard to comfort this dude, he’s a chronic over analyzer, could probably turn anything and everything you say against himself or you, and yet would crave validation and intimacy.
which makes him a bit of a trip,, but i love him. so.
a lot of the time you’ll have to go with his flow
if its really bad he’ll isolate himself, he feels like he’s letting you down by breaking in front of you. He can’t let you see him as weak because to him its a liability for your relationship.
as well as the fact that his perception becomes very extreme/warped when very emotional. he’ll can range from believe your lying to him, to he’s not worth that kind of comfort and he’s wasting your time.
it takes a lot of patience for him to accept that he isnt an inconvenience to you and you do actually care
overtime, a lot of fucking time, he’ll slowly come around to this. instead of leaving for days or weeks at a time, Jason will leave for at most a day or two, but around midnight he’ll be home craving your presence.
he cant be alone again, he really doesn’t wanna be alone again, he needs to make sure you don’t wanna leave him.
probably just goes to sleep facing you, or holding your hand if hes feeling especially mushy.
he’d be so quiet, having the internal battle of leaving you or letting him feed into his desire of just having you around him.
In his words, needing a home. feeling safe, and warm. (I LIED I DELETED TWO PICS TO SHOW THIS)
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jason thinking of alfred as home>>
Jason needs that in a partner! Someone who is warm to him! someone who makes him feel wanted or needed! Someone who makes him feel safe!
I think if you catch him just as he gets triggered/begins to spiral, you can help him not crash out.
Being over the top mushy with him isnt gonna work, he needs someone to ground him and be 100% with him.
sometimes he doesn’t need to talk or just doesn’t want to, again presence.
but acknowledging him every now and then to make sure he knows your not brushing him off or forgot about him.
when you’re in a closer relationship he definitely just wants you in his arms, needs to hold you close.
Home-cooked meals with him, justing going about your life with him, making him feel wanted, making him feel acknowledged.
i think he’d open up every now and then, but i think he’s also still a self-assured person who needs guidance at the right time. to just be sure he’s on the right path and youre with him.
one of his triggers is his own jealousy, accidentally making him feel like he’s replaceable or him believing you’ll get tired of him.
he needs so much reassurance.
just be there with him, guide him, love him, make sure he’s on the right path.
he needs a lot of things, sometimes its naps, sometimes its food, sometimes just to be in your arms, sometimes to help you cook, sometimes watching you work, sometimes he’ll have you lay your back on his chest and read with him, sometimes he just wants to fall asleep with you, sometimes he wants to cry in your arms, JUSDHRIDJDJDISO JASON TODD COME HOME WE MISS YOUUUU
HES MY HIGH MAINTENANCE GF
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this was so satisfying to write i <3 jason todd
rq/inbox is open !! if you just wanna yap or wanna request somethin’ go ahead!
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liquidstar · 2 months
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chat i'm once again thinking abt how much i love the development of the emilia/subaru relationship. i just think they way they communicate with each other is so good.
both of them WANT to be together, they make that very clear. however their respective circumstances and traumas make that difficult at the moment, so they're kind of just hanging out. but everything is out in the open! they both know they like each other and wanna be together, but they're making the active choice to not act on it yet. given how fucked up they both are in the head... this is, like, remarkably healthy (and shows a lot of subaru's growth after feeling entitled! and emilia's growth in opening herself up to the idea that she could be loved!)
subaru constantly dotes on emilia, and its something she enjoys and feels comfort with. she feels like something is wrong when he doesnt (like in arc 6 w his amnesia). he tells her all the time that he loves her, expecting nothing back. shes not ready to commit to an "i love you," yet, but she's thankful to hear it, and she still wants to say it back someday. she outright says she can't marry anyone else because she's already chosen him! even if theyre not in a relationship, its like they're preparing for the day when they can be. they still both understand. and subaru is so patient with her about this now, he doesn't feel insecure about whether she likes him or not either. he knows! they both agreed to wait. they both know they're not fit for a real relationship but they're still committed to each other in this Just Hanging Out phase.
and from a writing standpoint i think this is GREAT because they can be a slow burn... and have open and honest communication about all their feelings for each other? thats so rare! literally no one is doing it like them. and i think their eventual relationship will have more payoff with less will they/won't they about the whole thing for it, imo. because 99% of the time w these kinds of stories, you know they will anyway, but what's cool here is that THEY also know they will.
i just think what they have going on is really cool and i love how it shows their growth. yes, its okay if theyre not "really" a fully romantic couple, that's too much for right now. but they can still be together in whatever way works for them, and slowly work their way into whatever comes next. they ARE working towards some kind of future together, but they're taking their time, testing the waters, and not settling into any specific roles just yet. just going with the flow, seeing how things turn out (especially w how hectic their lives are lol), but still undoubtedly loving each other (in emilia's case, even if she's not ready to commit to romantic love, you can't deny she loves subaru in a platonic way, or somewhere in-between).
its cool! its a cool dynamic that you dont get very often! but its also a very real one to me, they really feel like two troubled people just taking their time to figure stuff out with each other. not jumping into anything, but also preparing to eventually, and really communicating to make it work! that theyre both comfortable with how the other feels about them too, and easily settle into this nice peaceful dynamic they have in the meantime. theres no rush! they trust each other, and theyll get there.
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chiiyuuvv · 9 months
Note
heyy can I request xikers reaction to you being insecure about something in yourself(anything, u name it) thank youu and I love your writing 🤍✨
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• PAIRING — xikers x fem!reader
• GENRE — comfort, insecurities, yeah
• WORD COUNT — 695
• AUTHOR'S NOTE — Everything that i have written has been pulled from here so if there was something i didnt name or you'd like to read more about, i highly suggest it :)
• TAGLIST — @lil-elle , @hyunukitty , @cake1box , @mars101 , @nenede , @soul-is-a-strange-kid , @the-lemon-boy , @yuniniverse , @hunchan444 , @s00buwu , @cherrycolaberry
MASTERLIST! – JOIN THE TAGLIST!
"I'm not going to get into that college"
First and foremost, minjae understands the pressure to get into a certain college in order to please your parents. But you wanna know whats more important? Why do you wanna go? Other than pleasing your parents. After a long talk and cuddle, you should come into a better sense of whether or not college is something you want to do. But either way, you should always believe in yourself! ♡
"I don't have many followers"
Junmin's going to take away your phone. Not because you did something bad, but so you can take a break. Go outside, turn on do not disturb and take a walk with your lovely boyfriend. Its a win-win for you, him, and his dogs. A win-win-win, technically ♡
"I don't have a good fashion sense"
As someone who likes to dress a certain way, sumin knows what its like, but he has a tip; dress for you. When you wear things that make you happy, you often forget about the others around you, and their opinions. It also helps you stand out from the crowd. Wear what you like ♡
"I cant do any better"
Grabbing both of your hands, jinsik will give them a tight squeeze in front of the mirror, making you repeat the same mantras every morning. They may feel silly at first, but over time they help you convince yourself that you are worthy of whatever you desire ♡
"I dont have many friends"
First, hyunwoo will talk about the importance of friends. Friends that help you grow to become the better you and give you a good laugh. Friends that would never judge you for their own benefit. That being said, you need to eliminate the ones that dont actually care for you. Worry less about the quantity, and more about the quality. Who cares if you only have 3 friends? As long as youre happy and growing, thats all that matters ♡
"I'm not pretty enough"
Beauty is subjective. You may be insecure about one thing, but junghoon, 9 times out of 10, finds it really stinking cute. But what he feels doesnt matter, what others think doesnt matter. How you think matters!! So stop worrying about other peoples eyes and work on your inner self. If youre happy.. youre at peace, and if youre at peace, you start to smile. And thats very attractive ♡
"I'm not that smart"
"Why dont you think youre smart?" Seeun would ask, his chin resting against his hand. "Why do you want to be smart?" These questions may be dumb but they have meaning. We all have the ability to learn something. After all, life is about experiencing things and growing from it. It all just takes time, so dont stop believing in yourself, 'kay? ♡
"No one will miss me when im gone"
Although you may feel alone and think no one would care, yujun would care. Yujun would always care. But, stop worrying about the future, you know? Live your life in the present with no regrets. Every moment spent worrying is a moment spent not really living. When you obsess over that type of stuff, you are missing out on whats in front of you. And when you miss that, you wont realize the people who love and support you ♡
"I feel overweight"
Hunter will take you to the gym, but not just so you become 'thin' and everyone will accept you, to focus on being healthy, mentally healthy too. Focus on getting in shape with a well balanced diet and exercise program. Hunter will help! ♡
"People talk behind my back"
"Do you know that for sure??" Yechan would ask, poking his fork in his salad. "Because most of the time, its just an imaginary conversation you have in your head. Stop worrying what other people think and focus on your well being. But what you said is true, expect to see me at your school." He finishes, shooting you an innocent smile ♡
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genderkoolaid · 1 year
Note
What do you think about the concept of "since kink and porn is an art form, you should be able to critique it like an artform" (but like, with actual critique rather than just kink-phobia AND ALSO don't critique someone's specific piece of art if they didn't ask you to, like we're still applying the basic rules of art critique to this).
In the same way you would examine and criticize someone animating a character saying something violently transphobic, you would criticize someone for making violently transphobic porn. (Of course there is nuance to this, just because a character says something violently transphobic doesn't mean the creator is transphobic in that and same with violent transphobic porn)
But I guess in order to get to that point, we need to get past the "it's not morally pure" and "you're gross for liking that" type shit in order to do that in a healthy way. Because I believe there is a healthy and honest way to critique porn and what kind of message people are putting out into the world with porn (oddly enough, porn can be used as propaganda), but I don't think we as a society are ready to do that with the current state of puritanism.
I would say, one, that kink =/= porn. I think it makes sense to critique porn like an artform, but kinky sex in private is, y'know, private, so it would be weird to try and artistically critique someone's sex life. Not all kink exists for public consumption & it private kink shouldn't be judged like its inherently meant to be consumed by the public. Porn, on the other hand, is meant to be viewed (for purposes of arousal), and that includes kinky porn. (Also, we can critique the way people do kink, but I don't think that should be compared to how art is critiqued yk? Like there's a difference between artistically critiquing movies about sports and critiquing the way sports are played. And when it comes to interpersonal relationships it should really be left to people actually involved in the situation since they know their needs best.)
I definitely think there's merit in critiquing porn in an artistic sense. But it definitely has to be done from a perspective outside of "this is depicting a Bad Thing and making it seem like a Good Thing, therefore its Bad." Personally, I think more should be done to emphasize the kink aspect of kink- a lot of CNC porn removes the context of kink, which is extremely important for not only engaging in but just understanding CNC. If you listen to people who have rape kinks & engage with them in healthy ways, its very clear that part of the arousal is the fact that its in a kinky context, and the knowledge that you either have power taken away or are given power based on mutual trust. I said this before in another post but I think a lot of the negative things attributed to kinky porn itself comes from people consuming it without having any kink education to put that porn in context. But this has to come alongside systemic changes to how we approach kink and sex in general, and make it easier for people to get educated about these things in an open way. I very strongly feel that we should have some kind of at least surface level kink education in sex ed- by "surface level" I mean, at the very least, getting the concepts of "scene" "safeword" "soft/hard limits" "SSC/RACK" "aftercare" etc. into the general consciousness.
Anyways, the point is that if your critique only goes as deep as "this makes rape seem good, and thats harmful!" then its not a very good critique. But something like "the choking method used is dangerous and shouldn't be encouraged" or "this video showed the discussion of safewords and limits before the actual scene, which emphasis that its a scene & encourages good communication" could be very helpful.
But also, why limit porn critique to that? I wanna see people writing articles about the camera angles & the talents of the performers.
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fictionfixations · 5 months
Text
book 7 part 4
MAJOR SPOILERS
thats the wrong lilia D:<
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(from beanfest)
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--
dying inside because oh my god how is this gonna be added to the wiki
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what?? the rest are empty.. (they loaded in eventually but wtf)
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WHAT.
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HOW IM SO WEAK IM SOFHJDUFJ FUCk. FUCKING FUCK???? how am i supposed to do this when each battle leaves me with very little Hp. so then i have to heal. but then im not at full hp so then im fucked with the next battle?? HELLO??
CRYING
I WISH it wasnt stuck to just 3 extra characters besides silver and sebek
I didnt even HAVE a single sebek card until tsumderland 2 because you needed sebek as your study partner so i got his school uniform 😭
if i could choose any character then it wouldnt matter because i could go back to using the cards id already strengthened up for tartarus but like. i CANT. so im feusidfh SOBBING i think i understand how it works now but oh my god this. is. so painful i thought tartarus was bad but i had no idea
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im WEAK im SORRY (lilia's fight before this where you have to beat him to continue is so HARD i couldnt. i succumbed to using a retry ticket. I WAS USING THE STRONGEST TEAM I HAD and my strongest support buddy guy person i dont remember waht its called but i was still fucked oh my god)
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im sorry lilia
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oh thank fuck
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...yeah.... BECAUSE HP SAVES. and im so weAK
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OH MY GOD IT SAVES. (spoiler alert: I DIED. so thats why it says in progress. i healed them up and it fucked me over anyway because it doesnt heal all the way)
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(you can go back so i just. used my remaining cards which are weaker. but were strong enough to oneshot it after i took down a huge majority of their health..)
so then is it better to use the weaker cards. let them die but take the enemy down slowly. and then you can get your strongest cards to kill them in one shot after that?? but then you'll eventually run out. but also it doesnt seem like the maps are too big. ..yet. but still...
(i wanna do them all and get the 10 gems so i can pull for general lilia. i just need 19 more pulls sob.)
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I GOT CONFUSED AND THEN I REALIZED THEY DIDNT WANT LILIA TO COOK IM DEADD
oh my god silver
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oh its canon
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is this why lilias cooking is so bad? because they just had to make do with whatever they had (and learned on the go. and figured that shitty food was normal for them, and the really good food was normal for the rich people??)
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*flashbacks to sebek's stomach growling during lilia's farewell party*
nOO SEBEK POOR BABY
(i. really dont like his grandfather. OKAY??? he disapproves of candy, he disapproves of SEBEK JUST BEING IN THE KITCHEN? LIKE HELLO??? WHAT?? this is from i think his birthday bloom(?) vignette, the candy thing i mean, i THINK. one of the birthday ones with trey as his interviewer.. and its mentioned in his apparentice chef vignette that baur doesnt like sebek in the kitchen. he gets this look on his face. )
i KNOW that baur doesnt know sebek is related to him. but. i just. dont like him. at all. AND IM BIASED BECAUSE I LIKE SEBEK and i dont want him hurt :(((
and okay. i get. it. that. baur doesnt like humans. and its reasonable because humans were assholes and like drained the resources dry (bro we do the same irl..) so then the direbeasts without their habitat anymore ran into the villages and caused havoc.
so theres a valid reason for them (although i feel like theres a HUGE misunderstanding. because fae see the ironclads as ruffians. but the silver owls see the fae as ruffians. or robbers or something wtf??)
and i get it. youd hate the enemy too if you saw what damage they caused. like how lilia isnt the biggest fan of humans either during his time as a general.
and i get that he's probably haunted by memories and its not that easy to get over it. but sometimes i feel like it needs to be known when its no longer healthy for someone to be around another. like, they can both equally love each other. can both care for each so much that they only want the best. but sometimes being around someone can only prove to be more unproductive and unhelpful.
and i know baur did a lot for sebek. but its also like. sebek shouldnt have to be so against humans, so against part of himself just because baur is, y'know? and i feel like if baur really wants to be there for his grandson, that he should at least try to accept it or something so as to not hurt sebek more. that like 'yeah, he's human (not that theres anything wrong with that ofc), but he's also family'.
:(((((
i dont think im explaining it that well. im just very sad.
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OH MY GOD GRIM YOU DIDNT 💀
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comannder (typo)
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haha...
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oh my god i dont understand anything i dont know geography
😭 they're just explaining where everything is and im just like 'wait what???? wait where????' im so lost… also is it briar valley or briarland??? what/ I dont get it at all
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OH. wait is that why malleus seems tame in comparison…. ah….
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wait a second
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MAJOR JP SPOILERS (this is from one lilia render i saw. scroll past this if you dont want to see)
we know malleus watches over dreams. how will he appear? we know he can take the form of himself. and id imagine he'd keep doing that but.... or will he change forms? or. like. baby malleus. would he be baby malleus? and then we have to be like 'LILIA ITS A DREAM MALLEUS OVERBLOTTED' and lilias just holding bby malleus protectively like no??? (ive seen an image of his like character render holding a baby dragon... and i assume that might be malleus... thats JP spoilers btw)
oh... wait. but we know malleus' parents are both dead right? (and only his grandma's alive)
SPOILER ENDS HERE
OOOH. briar land was when fae territory was bigger (but then humans are encroaching n stuff) briar valley is much more smaller.
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maybe the drowsy spells are because his body is trying to get silver to sleep so he can dream travel? but whats the point of doing that?? nothing really.. happens. i mean he can sort of interfere but???
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WHAT?? i. two teams? HUH?? oh my god… im going to play this as safe as possible and get as many buffs as i can before going into fights. and then im going to try to go as close as i can to the end goal. because nothings stopping me from going back later. ..but i also want to continue the story… but i also wanna see it all……… i mean if i die (as in all my cards die) i can just. restart. i guess.?? but still…. im so happy. i actually have healers on my team now 😭 and buffs make fights easier
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ooh the tiles are actually related to where you are in the story
like theres this river. i did this battle to scare some ironclads away from the river. and then theres this blank tile near it which is also about the river. oooh. i see. ayway im out of mystium
i suddenly feel a lot more assured in my ability to fight them with buffs and other characters
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starsurface · 7 months
Note
Can you please do Nightwolf caregiver headcanons?? I haven't seen a single agere post with him yet 😭
I love Nightwolf!! He'd made an AMAZING CG, fr!
Also on the side note: I do not know much about Native American culture, so if I do get any of these either incorrect or ‘eeeeeeeeh’ tell me and I'll make sure to change or alter them!!!
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<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
CG Nightwolf Hcs
🐺 OH MY GOSH THIS MAN WOULD BE AN AMAZING CAREGIVER AND I WILL FOREVER STAND BY THAT
🐺 Would be amazing with ANY age, fr
🐺 Tiny soft baby? Oh my goodness of course!! Wrapping you up in soft furs, rocks you gently
🐺 Toddler that just likes sitting around, watching cartoons and coloring? Cartoons might not be entirely his thing, but of course he'd love to watch an episode or 17 with you!!
🐺 Excited kid that likes running around and doing things? He's all up for some tag and arts and crafts!!
🐺 Emo or Moody preteen? He use to have a emo phase back in middle school too, what's your favorite band? Do you wanna share eyeliner secrets?
🐺 ^ If your not Moody preteen (i really project on that sometimes), he still likes hanging out with you. Whether its gossiping over making those kanji (?) bracelets or letting you rant about your favorite current thing in the entire world
🐺 Adores pet regressors!!! Playing tug-in-war with a puppy, letting a kitty curl up on his lap, finding yummy treats for a bunny, etc etc
🐺 Will highly encourage you to spend some time outside with him
🐺 Outside is good for you!! Plus you can go on a nice walk, or play hopscotch, or sit on his lap and play with the grass or whatever toys you brought
🐺 If you can't handle outside for whatever reason, such as sensitivity to grass or lightness sensitivity, he is very understanding and won't force you outside
🐺 Even five minutes is good for him, but if you really can't or just don't wanna, he will never force you to
🐺 If you do like going outside, that's great!! But if your too fearful about going outside because your small and someone might judge or see, he'll make sure to find secluded spots like the Motako Woods or Fujin's Temple Garden
🐺 If Nightwolf is busy hell most likely leave you with Fujin because thats who he trusts the most
🐺 Off topic, Fujin would so spoil you if Nightwolf dropped you off to him (he's gotta keep the fun Uncle title!! Otherwise he might get the Grandpa title, like Raiden!! 😨)
🐺 I feel like he'd make you wooden toys, hand crafted
🐺 I don't know a ton about Native culture, but I know there's a BUNCH of really cool stories/legends!!
🐺 He'd love story time, sharing one's passed down from his Mama and Auntie
🐺 He doesn't mind reading from a book either, but does prefer legends passed down
🐺 Favorite CG nicknames would be Nighty Wolf (I dunno why, but it sounds cute), Cloudy (based off his true name), Papa, Bubba, and any other one you wanna call him
🐺 His favorite nicknames for you would be Little One, Young One, Cuddle Bug, Moonlight, Starlight, Baby Bear, and more
🐺 Although truly his favorite nicknames for you are your favorite nicknames because you perk up at them and have the biggest smile and ugh- His heart!! 🥺
🐺 He's a stickler for the rules though >:/
🐺 Doesn't like seeing you pout and whine but will put his foot down on very certain rules (if you use your acting skills and tear up a bit you can get past half of them)
🐺 Not a health nut, but does give you mostly healthy snacks . . . >:(
🐺 But if you ask for it, he'll give you a piece of candy on the side, he's not that mean
🐺 Doesn't let you eat too many sweets though, tries to explain that it's not the best and you might get a tummy ache
🐺 (Although one look of ‘🥺’ and he'll probably crack)
🐺 The most he's ever done for punishments is the naughty corner, and that's only if you've hurt someone or did something really, really bad
🐺 Firmly believes in talking about what you did and how to fix it
🐺 Doesn't ever yell but he has this stern voice that you know your testing his limits
🐺 And he knows it's a scary stern voice (will only use it if he must must)
🐺 Any boo-boos you have get a band-aid and a kiss, you don't have much arguing room
🐺 (^ Also kisses make everything better anyways 🥺)
🐺 On the topic of band-aids, if you have a favorite show or something, he'll try his hardest to find band-aids with that specific design!!
🐺 Really likes cuddle time because it's time to relax and he can ‘protect you’
🐺 Man has big arms, feels like he's protecting you whenever you two hug
🐺 If you ask for permission and he grants it, he'll let you play with his hair
🐺 But you must use soft hands!! No tugging whatsoever pretty please
🐺 He'd love to do hairstyles on you though!! Even if its a super complicated, he'll try his hardest to do it perfect!!!
🐺 If you babble when regressed, most of his reply are ‘Hm?’ or ‘Is that so?’ but his tone is always very gentle and loving
🐺 Feels like the type of CG that if you place something in his hands, unless it's trash that he'll throw away, he'll hold it until you need it again (even if you already forgot and two hours went by)
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
Y'all there were so many amazing gifs for Windwolf. Also like 97% of Nightwolf gifs have Fujin in them??
I love this man, he's so Dad coded. 🥺
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Note
Personally, I dnt see Nesta abusing Feyre because of how vague their history in their past home was like. They seemed on v equal ground wit the way they argued and fought. Feyre calls Nesta a burden then Nesta retaliates. Nesta warns Feyre about the old hag and Feyre brings up their past fight from the other night. Nesta tries to save Feyre and Feyre realizes there is more to her sister than she thought.
They always were at odds with each other but their never seemed to be any serious power dynamic between them. Neither was afraid of the other and both saw themselves in the other. I honestly think they both have stuff to answer for from their days in the cottage.
In SF, the book even says that Feyre wasn’t perfect and that she made mistakes but their past doesn’t have to define their future. Again, we dnt know what those mistakes could have been since there is such vague exploration of their dynamic back then. But passages in the books like these make me see that it wasn’t abuse between them. It certainly wasn’t healthy but definetly not so one-sided as many antis make it out to be.
hi anon!!
my response is loooooong 😭
i do really want to talk about this. i think the set up in the cabin is very important to the foundation of the sisters' relationship, and because its left as this gaping hole that lacks nuance and logic, it muddles the characterization going forward. a court of silver flames runs into trouble for this reasons, hence why is said it employs the use of 'placeholder' plotlines. to start, as many have stated before me, the set-up in the cabin makes no sense. none. not even a little. that matters for a lot of reasons but specifically because we can't really argue the validity of any of the sister's actions when the worldbuilding around them has none to begin.
its very hard to apply a real system of continual power, abuse, and neglect, when the circumstances around such dynamic is vague and uncommitted. the story doesn't want to commit to the consequences, but it also doesn't want to establish a relationship between the sisters without placing feyre as the permanent victim. so - it created an absurd scenario that doesn't make any sense. what i am saying is - the story has to go wayyyy out of its way to make elain and nesta 'villains' - to the point that the plot can't even support it. like for example, the girls live together in the cabin without feyre hunting for about a good 3-4 years. that means: someone clothed them, someone fed them, someone cleaned, someone took care of them. someone picked up the slack and its wasn't feyre. we know that mama archeron dies when the girls are 8, 10, and 11 - and the shortly after that, they lose their wealth. so - the girls are maybe 11, 13, and 14. literal children. and again - someone had to be taking care of them, a dynamic existed before feyre went hunting, but somehow never gets brought up. if the story is committed to this story, why doesn't it highlight nesta/feyre/elain's relationship in the moments where feyre isn't hunting? what was their relationship like? what was feyre like? these are perfect moments to establish the relationship. even if the sisters were lazy - what would they be doing all day? how would they even sustain themselves on meat all year long? even if the sisters were evil sisters there's little motivation for them to even be like this. the sisters are only three years apart. literally. when feyre was 8, elain was 10, and nesta was 11. thats not a big enough age-gap to even sustain partially of what the story argues about why the sisters have a disconnect. nesta would have been a BABY when feyre and elain were born - where is the motivation? how do elain and nesta develop a faction when they would have been mere toddlers when feyre came into the picture???
either papa archeron isn't a deadbeat or some mysterious force clothed, bathed, fed, and took care of them. like even the circumstances behind papa archeron being a deadbeat make no sense??/
and then there's the added layer of the suppose abuse the grandmother and mother were doling out to nesta, elain, and feyre. nesta was physically abused, and feyre was neglected to hell and high water - there's a plot pont to exploit right there. if the story wants to commit to nesta being abusive, but also wants her to be sympathetic, validating where her anger comes from, while acknowledging how it negatively affected her relationships with her sisters would be the perfect way to go. playing into the mirror sacrifices these sisters (youngest and oldest) made towards one another would have been *chefs kiss*. but again - the story leaned way too moral to even attempt a conversation like this. its willing to forgive the tamlins, rhys's and cassians, but not the women in the story. the thing is - the story doesn't commit to real faults with feyre - and it doesn't do that with nesta or elain either. they are only a standard to compare feyre against. and that's why the story cannot commit to a basic conversation between the sisters - there's nothing that exists between the except the drama. nesta has to atone for mystery reasons bc the story has rewrote their dynamic too many times. sjm acknowledges that the sisters are caricatures at this point of the story, but she doesn't rewrite the first book to accommodate her switch is plot direction.
nesta can't really tell feyre 'why she treated her x way ' bc the story doesn't know why either. a reason doesn't exist. elains book will probably have the same issue, on an even broader scale bc it doesn't actually have a reason these sisters chose to stare at a wall for 24 hours out of the day. the reason elain 'chooses not to help' is even more flimsy than the reason it gave nesta. esp bc the story later establishes that elain isn't even supposed to be a bad person, she can actually be caring. shes also a gardener so it also makes no sense that she would...cringe away from feyre bc of dirt???? that part makes no sense. she literally refused gloves at some point bc she liked to use her hands. she does so in the same book. and i don't even like this character but its the truth, and its why i cannot adequately take what the story argues about the sister seriously. nothing about what it argues makes any logical sense. it for this story...yeah that matters.
so....its valid that people don't take those chapters seriously. they are actually written with unserious intent. like how can i be angry at the sisters when the story argues they were essentially staring into space for eight years??? argues that papa archeron with 10000000 connections couldn't just....use those connections like he literally did near the end of tar and war? that the sisters could live off wild meat for years and still be alive? that toddler nesta and baby elain annexed toddler feyre??? its an unserious situation here. like feyre would rather -- @ 11, 14 or whatever age the story chooses to argue -- would immediately turn to the deadly woods and not yknow...an actual job??? mmkay.
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suffarustuffaru · 7 months
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What are your least favorite ships? Not counting Subaru x one of the minors (i sadly have seen some around)
whew...... least favorite ships..... now thats a bold question HAH and i may have some. ah. Bold answers hah.
im generally pretty open to most ships, its just a matter of like. either i already liked the ship / was really into the ship or im more neutral about it and you just gotta convince me why i should at least give it a shot or be like "this could be good in certain circumstances". i dont usually care if a ship is toxic or "problematic" per say bc 1. this is rezero and sooo so many ships in this show arent 100% healthy lbr and 2. i will like a ship if its like. complex, and if theres problematic stuff, then its done for a reason - like it's not just there willy nilly. but thats just my personal feelings on it yep!! :o fiction is different from real life and all that.
more under the cut!!
that being said like. you know, kinda like you said - the obvious answers would be like subaru x any minors and just any sort of incest ships bc like. i do not see the point of it. that and you know, like a lot of people, i tend to avoid these sorts of ships with 99.999% of fandoms im in. i aint here for incest or shipping adults with minors. and i know theres like fandoms like game of thrones where this sort of thing IS relevant in the story, but with rezero - like it just is not relevant here and adds nothing unless youre into that. i do get that fictional stuff is different from real life and its not necessarily an indication of someone's character. i also definitely know this bc ive cowritten a gluttony if selfcest fic for this fandom as a very extreme crack treated seriously story hahh. but yeah like. ships between family and adult x minor are Not For Me in this fandom. i dont feel like it adds anything to the story and its also like Really out of character.
granted, i cant really say much on that bc ive written and posted selfcest for this fandom but like. in my defense, i did way too much research for that fic (..............i researched a lot of psychology stuff) and also gluttonybaru is Canonically Not Normal about subaru. the more you think about gluttonybaru the worse he gets HAH. like. dude has canonically kissed subaru via emilia's book of the dead....................
but obviously ofc i do not condone any of this ^^^^ in real life.
anyway on a lighter note!! im not a huge fan of most ships between subaru and *insert a female side character here*. like im not a big fan of like. subaru x anastasia, subaru x priscilla, subaru x elsa, subaru x yorna, subaru x pandora, like... the list can get kinda long bc people in this fandom in certain english spaces like to ship him with like any girl ever, it feels like sometimes. it gets to the point where sometimes i feel like subaru is just the self-insert to be shipped with women that people have the hots for.
like with most content about these sorts of ships, its hard for me to see much point to it - and there IS potential there. there is almost always potential in so many different tropes and ships, and theres some cool fanart in this fandom with these ships!! but you know, i hear about people suggesting ideas with these ships or writing fic about these ships and its just not my cup of tea bc it really sacrifices the characterization of all these women. and elsa is like already sexualized enough okay and its almost never nuanced and taking into account her backstory :( like i could be convinced to ship these ships with like idk 20k to 200k words of relationship and character development, but as it stands i personally really dont like them hah ;-;;; and also priscilla is clearly more into women okay (she canonically talks about how men are only allowed to fantasize about her and nothing more or she'll cut off their heads!!) and anastasia seems more into like julius and priscilla so like. HAH.
subaru x crusch is not something im a big fan of but im pretty open to it hah, i just havent seen much fancontent about them that really piques my interest :,)
anyway i also just. dont like the idea of taking a gay subaru ship and genderbending only one of them due to homophobia. and ill emphasize and underline that last part - due to homophobia - bc ive seen really good genderbend subaru content in this fandom where subarus afab and shipped with like julius or reinhard or something and there was clear effort and passion put into it!! and i do think its interesting thinking about how genderbend aus would affect this sort of thing for sure <3 i really really enjoy seeing the well made genderbend aus in this fandom!!
but i see other people suggesting fic ideas or making fics sometimes where its like fem subaru x male side character or like now-fem side character x subaru but it like its only clearly done bc some people just cant ship a gay ship, they gotta make it straight and then not put effort into thinking how this would change more things. and the female character in the duo now is Especially terribly out of character :(( the homophobia is just so so irritating to me. i go on the fic reddit thread sometimes and i see stuff like. i think once i saw a thread about someone requesting ottosuba and someone else immediately went "oh, with femotto right!!" like. ...... please. they are a gay ship :,,,))))))) let them be gay Sometimes at least!! maybe we can genderbend both of them sometimes??? :,)))
also on a less serious note HAH ok like..... ok hear me out, dont kill me for saying this either, but - fredotto. frederica and otto. and - ok dont get me wrong, i think theyd be really really interesting for multiple reasons, right. and ive seen some cute fancontent on them that i liked a lot!! so i really do think they have lots of potential!! like theres the obvious "otto had a crush on a cat as a child and frederica's a cat demihuman", then theres the other obvious fact of otto and frederica being connected via garfiel being their brother/brother figure, and also like personality/temperament wise they could bounce off of each other in interesting ways but like.
the thing with fredotto is that i feel like in english fandom its treated as the "more likely" otto ship to happen, at times. which is Absurd to me after studying otto's lore way too hard bc not only is this dude just way too obsessed with subaru (like regardless of whether you view it as platonic or romantic or not, ottos like Down Bad either way LMAO i just dont see him having eyes for anyone else at this rate)... but also otto OPENLY ADMITS that he'd be bad in a relationship with a woman. like im really sorry but frederica would probably be Too Good for him. and he would Know That.
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otto………. can you specify what “the most important thing” is. like do you mean ONLY your career or—
anyway so its like. you want me to believe that otto "i could never be in a relationship with a woman as i am now" suwen. could date a woman????? right now???? i dont think so LMAOO. like i would feel BAD shipping a woman with otto bc barely anyone deserves otto, ok. idk you might be going "suffaru arent you kinda mean to otto" but like being an otto fan also means being his biggest hater and dude is just super super cringe. and even if he had a crush, the chances of him voicing it is Probably Low.
like ships like fredotto, again, need like idk maybe like a few thousand words of development At Least on both ends, bc frederica?? we barely know anything about her at the moment, so its Really hard to approach a ship like this in an in-depth manner right now. like id love to explore fredotto!! id love to learn more about frederica!! id love to go crazy with this ship!! but yeah its definitely kinda hard bc we barely know anything on frederica :< :( and yeah once again. i think shes too good for otto. i think almost every woman is too good for otto. if youre shipping a woman especially with otto you gotta jump through hoops to Really convince me on this HAH. bc i think shipping him with men is just gonna lead to two different possibilities (codependency. and/or otto trying to femme fatale his way through life 👍)
yeah anyway jokes aside. fredotto at worst feels like just a case of pairing the spares and like Clearly they must only be in a straight ship or something HAH.... like i would love to read/write extensive relationship development on them though ;-;;; they got good potential, youd just have to put in the work for me to Believe that they could happen ;-;;;; but most fredotto english fic content atm is just them already being a Thing in the background like ;-;;; this would Not Happen from either of them without development!!!
also i have some fredotto tumblr posts floating around with what i Think would be fun to do with their dynamic…. idk where they are rn hah but yep i think they got potential :,) !!
anyway HAH i hope you did not mind reading about my least favorite ships in this fandom bc this is everything thats coming to my mind now 👍
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fic writer q&a
thank u @geneticcatalyst for tagging me <3<3 (when i opened up tumblr and saw the notification i was floored!! u?? participating in a writing game?? this is really cool im really happy about it! a normal amount of happy for normal mutuals who have def not spend a lot of their free time scream reblogging each other's takes with further additions)
How many wips do you have currently?
i usually work at multiple projects at once, it keeps me fresh, so, like, less than 30 but more than 10. lets not give out numbers to cultivate the illusion that i know what im doing
Which one are you finding the hardest to finish?
this isnt easy to answer because most of my wips give me headaches. im reluctant to say that all of them do, because i am an optimist, but the truth is that :D all of them do. but these kinds of headaches are usually easy to content with. most often its really just myself who stands in my own way; i have a method for that by now. i fridge wips and let them marinate for a bit, and often that is enough to work out the snares. either the enforced distance also established an emotional recontextualization, or future-me, who is 9 out of 10 smarter and more level-headed, immediately sees the issue and immediately knows the solution. god bless her
anyways! that is a longwinded way to say that yes, i have a wip like that. and its chosen in great honours for this title because, other than the other headache-inducing wips, this one's headache doesnt want to vanish even if i ignore it very hard, to my greatest chagrin. for one, i have to research a lot for it and subsequently examine subject matter that is difficult to expose yourself to over a prolonged period of time. my wip is inspired by and works through the socialpolitical events during soviet germany, nazi germany, and china during the time of the cultural revolution and in its present day. (im being vague on purpose.) im not a historian, and my formal education is helpful but lacking. the second reason, the true reason, is that through this wip, im also examining my own family history and recontextualize who i am in relation to it. its deeply personal and very emotional, and very exhausting. it also makes me, like, very angry, all the time. which is also exhausting.
What does it usually look like when inspiration strikes for you?
that depends! im working on finding a better writing/resting balance for myself because im really bad at respecting when i have reached a healthy limit. i know that many people in the writing community struggle with getting words on the page or making daily writing a habit. i dont have that problem i dont have any problems im amazing, no im joking, of course i have problems, but its more the other way around. see afromentioned disrespect of personal wellbeing during working hours
my relationship to writing is super fraught. so when inspiration strikes me, i will not automatically open up my docs anymore and start drafting or editing, or to write down some notes, because that would mean to delegate the thing im currently doing to another time. i need to have a really, a really, really, good reason to do so now. (this is a recent development thats still in the trial and error phase.)
i dont want writing to have that kind of power over my day-to-day life, yknow. my motto is that if whatever im cooking up in that moment, if its really "meant to be", it can wait. and if not, well. thats not my problem! (it actually is my problem, but im trying to ignore that unfortunate happenstance. writing is, like, literally just a thing i do for fun, i dont have to do it, there are thousand other things i could do instead /threat, and not more. this is what im telling my brain everytime it tries to convince me to make more out of it than it is. takes out a knife.) i also find it super helpful to just, like, sit with the inspiration. to just enjoy that feeling of bursting creativity. it feels really good, like attraction. and i can channel that elsewhere. fortunately, i see myself as an artist (hairflip) rather than a writer, so, to my other innumerable talents belongs a variety of very cool creative hobbies that i literally could do instead. (and they arent nearly as stressful!!!!11!!!11! for me!!!! personally!!!1!!!!! oh look, a second knife, however did that come into my pocket.)
its been doing me a lot of good to just, like, not care too deeply, and only write when im in the right mood. i want the act of sitting down and tending to my wips to be a conscious decision i make in full-knowledge of the consequences, no matter how pressing it feels in that moment to “do” something with that strike of inspiration. cultivating that enjoyment of a story by spending a healthy amount of my writing time dreaming about it, and virtually “doing nothing” makes me happy, and helps me find to where i need to go in the end. that is also an argument i use to barter with my capitalist brain.
Do you curate playlists for each fic or is your process different?
i used to curate playlists for wips. i still have those! theyre great for when i want to get into a specific mindset. i dont do that anymore though, too much work. most of my wips are fueled by the same music anyway, because most of my music listening to is being done while writing. thats also why i dont listen to music just for fun anymore, my music listening to capacity is fully exhausted (i know! how can i! im currently trying out this new thing called "recreational listening to music while lying facedown on the bed being a blob in the troposphere" its really nice)
Do you go balls to the wall and write as you go or are you more organized?
balls to the walls!!!!!!!! but id argue that these two things arent necessarily at odds u just have to know how to ride that rodeo (takes out a third knife)(camera pans in and it is revealed: im a knife bouqet shaped like a woman disguised in a trenchcoat)
tagging: @aiyexayen @intertexts @ayjada @fanghuas @gingabish0ujo
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bioethicists · 1 year
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hi i hope you dont mind this question. i assume because you are anti psych/mad liberation (me too) you probably also get the pro psych reaction of "thats dangerous" and "its not all like that" and the accusation that acknowledging the fact that psychiatric and therapy "care" is so bad will make people quit that care and they will inevitably get worse and it'll be your fault? im an anti psych blogger and this really messes me up because my whole thing is that i DONT want mentally ill ppl to suffer, and thats the whole reason i AM anti psych. and i am afraid ppl will somehow be harmed by me telling the truth or making (evil!) generalizations about psych professionals, etc.
to me it seems incredibly reactionary, usually comes with a moral panic flavor, and is chock full of victim blaming cliches. it seems to me that it hinges on the fear and threat of 1. a Crazy person rejecting treatment and 2. a Crazy person rejecting authority, so again, it seems to be based mostly in stigma. and yet it does seem true and possible that ppl will be influenced in ways that turn out poorly and i dont want that to happen either. and yet again, framing it like "dont tell ppl what health care to pursue" is a misnomer since psych care is simply about social control... and that facade of health care just protects them from criticism in a bad faith way cause it makes you look anti vax adjacent and telling ppl not to see doctors. im not really interested in telling ppl what to do when it comes to accessing psych care, but my general analysis is that: is refusing psych care possibly dangerous? yes. is getting psych care also possibly dangerous? yes.
anyway the main question is if/how you deal with this. both intellectually and emotionally. cause i think its possibly the hardest part of sharing anti psych views in public. it makes me feel guilty and afraid. and i think making splicing disclaimers sucks and is stupid. so idk. thanks for reading.
first of all, i absolutely do experience this + it used to piss me off more than it does now but now it mostly makes me sad. i think you summed it up so well when you said that both refusing + seeking psych care can be dangerous.
part of it is that, the deeper i root into my belief in bodily autonomy, the more i stop punishing myself if someone takes a good faith, well-phrased assertion i've made + spins that into something harmful which i never said or intended. i am very deliberate to only spread information that pushes for expanding + critiquing methods of healing, stressing that my goal is to free people from suffering, not compound it.
i know that some people who are struggling with paranoia or self-destructive impulses read mad liberation talking points (often finding their ways to the more conspiracy fueled or recklessly phrased ones) + respond in ways that end up harming them, like cold-turkey going off antipsychotics or firing their entire treatment teams to take sketchy supplements. it does make me very sad that this happens, because like you said, i want these people to be happy + not suffer.
however, i rarely see comparable conversation about how people take the logics of the psych system and use THOSE to harm themselves. many people with similar traits to those who do what you are describing are just as likely to use the logics of psychiatry to punish themselves or distance themselves from others. they use 'coping mechanisms' punitively by becoming obsessed with 'clean' eating/dieting, organization/academics, being the Perfect Patient. they tell others + themselves that they are neurologically incapable of love or healthy relationships or pleasure. they isolate themselves because they believe they are fundamentally toxic or abusive. they dismiss their emotions as "just symptoms" + actively chastise themselves or try to train themselves out of experiencing any anger towards others or even any negative emotions at all. they admit themselves to psych wards frequently not out of a reasonable concern that they will hurt themselves or others but because they believe they belong in a psych ward any time they are experiencing symptoms. the list goes on.
all of that being said, i do experience genuine concern that people might read what i write + because of self-hatred or intense paranoia, read some sort of mandate or advice that isn't there + end up in more pain. because this exact thing also happens with psychiatry, which the naysayers you describe above are not concerned with, i don't think they're actually worried about hurting people. they are worried about Crazy people Not Getting Help. it comes from a place of paternalism + fear.
another, more positive aspect of it is that i do genuinely believe that many people are not being helped by their treatment teams but think they Have To be in therapy or in a hospital or on meds despite them not helping because that's What You Do. so they have been sitting around waiting for five years of therapy or their seventh ssri to start doing something meaningful. some of them just needed to hear: you don't have to do this; it might not be the right thing for you. i actually think these people are really well-served by hearing about anti-psych/mad lib stuff + them quitting therapy/meds/treatment ends up allowing them to look for other pathways for dealing with emotional suffering.
ultimately, i think mad liberation that focuses on true autonomy + total liberation of all peoples provides a clearer path forward for people to return from these places of intense paranoia or self destruction. i think we are all so used to being deprived of autonomy that, when we first get it back, we often stumble with it or try to provoke someone into taking it away from us. that is just going to continue to happen if we respond to it by making autonomy conditional. a LOT of us feel like we're not allowed to heal if it's not a moral mandate, so hearing that it isn't feels like nobody cares. we have to find new ways of showing that we care which don't involve exerting power over others.
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violentviolette · 8 months
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Do you have any advice for approaching violent and homicidal urges or just general anger with a therapist that's a little. Gentle? Anger is a very large portion of my problems, and I'm just concerned that my therapist will be more freaked out than she already is by me.
i think everything is in how u phrase it. im gonna be very real, a lot of traumatized ppl (myself included when i was younger so no judgement) tend to phrase what we say in the worst most extreme and shocking manner possible. some of that is intentional, because getting negative reactions from ppl and making them uncomfortable gives us a feeling of power and control over other ppls emotions. and sometimes its unintentional, because weve been conditioned to seek out negative reinforcement or have learned that our feelings are not taken seriously unless we explain them in the extreme
but either way it does mean that when ur trying to avoid a negative reaction it can be difficult to get those feelings across. but its actually pretty easy when u stop and give it some more thought. a good idea if u have trouble doing that on they fly would be to write down what u want to say and bring it in to read it/consult it while talking
a good place to start is to break the feeling down to its base parts and describe more of how ur experiencing it. this helps to avoid the initial emotional knee jerk ur therapist might have. so instead of being like "i have homicidal urges and fantasize about killing my family" something more like "im really struggling with my anger, when things happen, my first reaction is to get angry and then i cant move past that feeling to think clearly"
also always avoid actionable statements. don't say things like "i want to shoot my classmates" or "when someone talks i just want to take a brick to their face" those can get u in trouble but they're also just more likely to get a negative reaction because now ur therapist has to choose between u and the people they think u might harm. dont put them in a situation where they would have to even hypothetically choose ur feelings over someone elses safety cause thats when things get sticky. it puts them at odds with u and makes things go from simply "helping u" to now "protecting other ppl" a good quick trick for this is to just replace ppl with objects. instead of "i want to punch them" using "i want to punch something" or instead of "i want to kill them" using "i want to break things" if u absolutely must talk about ur urges being directed at living objects, its a good idea to qualify that u know thats wrong and lie that its not what u "really" want to do. things like "but i know thats not okay" "i know thats not healthy" "thats not how i want to react" "i want to find a different way to handle that feeling"
also using more broad language that is again centered on urself can be more productive. describe what the sensation physically feels like for u to experience as opposed to what it makes u want to do "when ppl talk to me at the wrong times, it feels like my skin is on fire and i get very antsy, it becomes hard to focus on anything else except how angry its making me" or "sometimes i get very restless, it feels like my body is buzzing and i cant get that to stop until i break or hit something, but i know thats not a good solution"
this will again help to keep ur therapist focused on helping to relieve ur feelings rather than protect others from potential violence. u stay the center of the conversation and they can focus on addressing the individual parts of ur feelings instead of being worried about how ur actions are affecting others
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2haetls · 2 months
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do you have any mugi headcanons?
uhuh, nsfw and sfw if thats what yer askin!
☆ hcs with tsumugi aoba
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sketch info, nsfw + sfw, dom/sub hcs, romance, semi cringe/bad writing, character hcs, personal tsumugi/modern mugi, relationship hcs, gn reader/both genders mentioned, no pronouns used
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SFW SECTION !
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the first time the two of you met was at a small party between groups of friends. and you thought he was an asshole because of the way he spoke, but you later found out through natsume it's just him speaking his mind. "ah, you look horrible.." was the first thing he said, but it was true. honestly, you couldnt even be offended with how blunt he was, it was funny even..
dates usually consist of eating or watching movies, but at first, it was awkward. accidentally looking into eachothers eyes and looking away at the speed of light, eye contact wasnt really his thing at first. "we really are dating?.." your first kisses together were even more awkward, him staring into your eyes nervously, averting your gaze. and then it happens, your lips touch. and he tastes like sweets, its unbelievable. hes literally almost panicking.
gifts and going on dates are also in the picture if you suggest them, hes a good listener when he needs to be, and when you ask him to open up, he kinda, shuts down at first but i know hes gonna put in the effort in trying to make you feel better. trust is key to a healthy relationship. His honesty is also upped to a hundred, which is kind of worse, but it's nice to see how he feels about you and others. his self-depricating talks also bring up a bit of a concern, and you take it not with a grain of salt and end up talking to him about it and helping him feel less that way.
i know he would introduce you to his roomates and other acquaintances as well!
body hcs too, twinky tsumugi is for me, but its kind of a turn off in some ways!!!!! :/, hes got a decent amount of muscle, not too much, not too little. his legs are muscular though, like.. woah. step on me or sumn
ive got no more ideas for this section, soz!
mdni forr thus sectoons ahshgs
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NSFW AHEAD, sex.. sex? yeah
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i think he would choose to sub at first cause, yes, he's very pent up. i think he would sub automatically if you asked, fem or not. back to the first time, its extremely romantic and kind of heated, hes very touchy and gets into teasing you. also very vanilla the first few times unless either of you bring it up.
kissing, yes yes alot of that. he enjoys being on the receiving end of it, but will not disappoint if you wanna be kissed too. his dick is pretty big. it's pretty long and not too thick. his cum his salty, but has a sweet taste to it like everything else. hes very sensitive and his nipples get so swollen really fast its kind of concerning. i think tsumugi would lactate if he could, and thats where gnc afab mugi comes in!!! his chest as a guy is pretty large cause its mostly muscle, but afab mugis boobs are... yknow, huge. squishy and soft, and when he does end up pregnant or some unknown being comes and gives him the ability to lactate it is amazing, not just for you, for him too.
his milk is even sweeter. thats all ive got to say, dont wanna get too in depth about my love for boobs. Hes okay with somno and sensory deprivation, biting is also up there. his huge turn offs are cnc, and extremely public settings. hes okay with semi public, like under his desk getting support when hes playing games or getting work done, and hes good with his mouth when you need it too. and being tied up is one of the things thatll make him lose his mind.
subby mugi is the best, he whines alot, whispering in desperation, and exaustion. overstimulation turns him into a, yknow, slut? i dont know if thats the right word, but he goes crazy after cumming a few times. he even starts begging, literally pleading with tears in his eyes for more. hes a bit freaky and moves alot, explanation on the freaky part, i think spanking is one of the things he would try further in the relationship
dom tsumugi is even better, hes not exactly ruthless, but he knows how to do it well. like completing the hardest game on the first try without tutorials. again, hes very touchy and finds your sweet spots with extra care, focusing on your expressions and noises. he likes giving and taking backshots, but more romantic positions like spooning, if your a girl, closed missionary would be his go to choice when youre both tired, if your a guy, he gets more risky with double blindfolding and holds you even closer, his hands roaming everywhere that theey can reach.
dont know what else to add, again, soz..
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an : this seems lazy and doesnt feel in character to me, i havent read most of the story cause im jp only, so sorry if this feels weird if i mischaracterized him, made sure not to get too freaky incase you didnt want it... i finished this at 1:15
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