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lilac-melody · 2 months

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Anyway, so this was basically Hiyori's anti-fan song and Nonfantasy 2.0.

Most of the song takes place in Hiyori's head- imagining herself as a peasant girl along with lipxlip's Juliettas.

"To every girl, make sure you stay as far away as you can! Make sure you don't catch the infection." Hiyori looks like she's cringing so hard it's physically painful for her...and the lyrics right after are literally "get away from me!"

Followed by this we got the dream of her imagining Aizou and Yujiro doing princely things. The lyrics are as follows:

"This can't be! That's cheating! It's dishonest and unfair!! You don't take responsibility for their feelings for you!! Too much! It's dangerous! So risky and insane!! Cunning is the "power of idols" Still, I can't help it... I need to accept this is how it is."

And then she wakes up with a shocked and mildly terrified expression on her face.

While someone like Chuutan would be crying she woke up from her dream, Hiyori acts as a nice foil against that, knowing what they're really like and, unfortunately, working with them so often she has to see their princely persona and ends up dreaming about it against her will. (And come on, who doesn't have work nightmares?)

The next part of the song is basically Hiyori realizing that, hey, idols get depressed too, they're still people, and realizing that she can't really help them, because...well, I've already gone over lipxlip's relationship here, so if you want to read that, I'd go there afterwards.

This part I think is particularly important because it doesn't take place in her dreams. This is real life. Hiyori tries to offer something to cheer them up (ala some drinks they like). But they completely ignored her, as the lyrics say.

It's sad, but they just won't rely on her for their emotional baggage. You're doing your best Hiyori, just move on...

"Sometimes, their kindness can be a little scary"

I know this is part of Hiyori's dream, but honestly I'm not seeing how this is seen as "aww cute"...anyone showing an ounce of kindness to her, she gets flustered over. To me personally, this reminds me of this moment from HeroineDev...

She superficially fell for Asuka's kindness. And the relationship went absolutely nowhere. Much like how it would be (confirmed by Shito back in 2021 I think it was?) if Hiyori really had actually fallen for lipxlip.

Which, again, who doesn't have nightmares about work?

Afterwards we get more straight bait fanservice while Hiyori sings about how deceitful Aizou and Yujiro are to their fans because their princely persona isn't them. And then it ends off with her singing:

"It's so frustrating but... I'm just as excited as everyone else."

It could be read as "proof Hiyori's falling in love" if you're looking at it through a lhyo shipper lense, but if you're paying attention to the relationship between Hiyori and lxl as a whole, it could easily be seen as "idols are really cool", something that Hiyori has canonically said in the novels. She knows how hard they work and she knows they can charm anyone. That is what Hiyori is referring to.

She doesn't particularly want to be their fan, but she does want to support them. Much like how friends support each other, but still very different from the intimate ways Aizou and Yujiro support each other.

My point is actually proven correct ^ when we see the very next frames.

"This isn't something just anyone can do You need to put in the effort and hardwork."

Hiyori, who is a hard worker herself, admires their hard work and dedication to their fans...which is precisely why the song is her screaming at them for deceiving them lmao.

At the end of the day though, Aizou and Yujiro are still her friends, who get weirded out when she expresses her support towards them.

Or if she's just daydreaming.

The night and day difference between her imagining them doing fanservice in her mind and real life is really...something.

Look how utterly annoyed they look at her for zoning out.

This isn't a cute "I'm falling for my coworkers and daydreaming about them" scenario. This is her trying to imagine them as princes and them not knowing it.

Hiyori is their friend and suspectable to an active imagination. Not just in the MVs but in the novels as well.

And I think it says a lot about their relationship that all of the fanservice is strictly in Hiyori's perspective.

When lipxlip have a fanservice song, they either use Narumi Sena, or just a random girl. But when it's Hiyori imagining them doing the fanservice, it's all in her head. HeroIdol and Nonfantasy are literal proof of this.

It is extremely onesided.

Aizou and Yujiro care for Hiyori- this is undeniable. However, they do not like her in that way. Not only has Aizou canonically stated he doesn't get involved with girls outside of work, but they just don't see her in that light.

I mean, in every single lxl song that included Hiyori, like Kono Sekai or Last Stage, she's there for like 2 small frames and it's her being in the background or trying to stop them from fighting. They never once had a frame where they're talking to her and ignoring the other or venting to her.

She's their "work friend" who they've hung out with like twice outside of work. They only contact her in emergencies.

That's not to say they don't support Hiyori and her dreams, because they do. They support her in finding someone who will take care of her (ie: Nagisa) because they care about her, and they don't see her in that way.

And given that the time skip in HeroHei and Sukiuso shows Hiyori and Nagisa attending the same uni...yeah.

Also, I would like to point out that in HeroIdol, Hiyori thinks of herself as just a peasant girl among the (fake) princes. It's like a metaphor for saying "they're out of my league even though they're really awful". Not a good look for her or for lipxlip, honestly.

But in Herohei, she sees herself as a Cinderella who's worthy of being a heroine. Meanwhile, Sukiuso is about Nagisa saying she's better than Cinderella and she's always been a heroine.

TMK did all three MVs, and I think this was a deliberate choice to show everyone how unhealthy one would be, while the other blossoms naturally.

Not once has Hiyori imagined herself as a princess around lipxlip. Her insecurities come out when she's around them because they poke fun at her too often. (Beat they ass, Nagisa)

The Omoiai album, which is where HeroIdol came from, is about various different relationships. While Aizou and Yujiro's are familial, Hiyori's was a unique one. A, as I've said above, anti-fan song.

Which goes directly against Chuutan's fan songs.

I think it's important to have them both, and I like that we get the perspective of Chuutan, someone who genuinely sees them as princely, and Hiyori, who cringes when she sees their prince-sonas.

And it is important to note that we never get lipxlip's perspective- knowing they find their over excited fans annoying, and only see Hiyori as a friend. Otherwise she would be in more of their MVs and not just a background character.

I think too many people forget to realize that if they were going into a relationship, then we need them to say "yeah I'm falling for her" and not just Hiyori, when she's known to fall into little delusions. (And no, I don't mean that in a negative way)

IN SHORT: No, lhiyo is not canon, and this song was just an anti-fan song.

#sorry if this was incomprehensible it was 6:30am when the MV dropped and it's now 7:38am yawwwn im eepy #honeyworks #confession executive committee #heroine tarumono/heroines run the show

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takerfoxx · 6 months

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(After)Life: Why the Evangelion Pilots Should Be Left Alone

Hey, throwing this up here before I officially publish it in a couple days as both of a sort of preview and also for feedback. This is the first installment of that Evangelion story that I've been talking about, a sort of in-universe opinion piece to introduce the premise and themes and whatnot. But basically, here's the general idea: it takes place over the course of about a century and a half after End of Evangelion, where Third Impact turned everyone into orange juice (LCL, whatever) and made humanity into a hivemind. Shinji and Asuka emerge onto that beach in a post-apocalyptic landscape like in the movie, Rei herself later returns under very odd circumstances, and after many trials and tribulations they eventually form a throuple. However, as more and more people also emerge from Instrumentality and society begins to rebuild, they find themselves needing someone to blame, and the Eva pilots seem the perfect fit. And since Shinji, Asuka, and Rei are afflicted with a somewhat modified version of the Eva's curse from the Rebuild films (basically, can't age, can't die), they're stuck with it for a long time.

So, basically the idea is for it to be a series of short stories released out-of-order, each of them taking place at a random point of time and touching in with how the trio are doing at that particular moment and keeping track of how society is reacting to them, and vice-versa. So, this will be very different than the more serialized stuff I've done in the past, and a lot more manageable as a result. Any installments will come out whenever I feel like working on this. Anyway, here's the first installment. Let me know what you think.

Why the Evangelion Pilots Should Be Left Alone, by Alice Glocke

One-hundred and twelve years ago, the world died, and ever since then, we have been seeking someone to blame.

A world still reeling from the horrors of Second Impact. A world under constant invasion by extraterrestrial monsters beyond comprehension. A world fighting desperately against increasingly hopeless odds not just to recover, but to survive, to not go quietly into that good night, to plant its feet and declare into the face of God himself that it not only existed, but would continue to exist, and woe be to all that would seek its destruction.

In this, it failed, and the world died.

In many ways, the horrors of Third Impact are less of a scar and more of an open wound, one bleeding LCL into our waters. Yes, we continue to rebuild, and life continues to repopulate and flourish. But though the brief moment in which humanity ceased to exist was now over a century ago, we still have those among us who were forced to take part in Instrumentality, only regaining their thoughts, bodies, and sense of personal identity through sheer force of will, and who had to eke out any means of survival that they could on a dead planet.

In the years following Third Impact, as society finally began to reconstruct itself and climb out of the muck into something that was at least functional, humanity has had to grapple with how to respond to the collective trauma that every person on the planet now shared. There was a great deal of righteous anger and a cry for justice, but with the entire SEELE Council still out of reach within Instrumentality, those cries went unfulfilled. Yes, a small number of NERV employees were found and taken into custody, but those were found to have nothing to do with Third Impact, with only that organization’s highest-ranking members working in cohorts with SEELE. And those individuals also remained out of reach.

And then, everything changed. Fourteen years after Third Impact, we finally had someone to blame. The surviving Evangelion Pilots had been found.

In a way, finding them had been a relief. So much bottled-up anger, so much unresolved pain, and those responsible were beyond justice. Now, humanity had the perfect scapegoats. Essential key components of SEELE’s Instrumentality Project, masquerading as fearless defenders of Earth while working the whole time to destroy it. Shinji Ikari, known as the Third Child, and son of NERV’s infamous commander Gendo Ikari, the man perhaps the most responsible for enacting Third Impact. And Asuka Soryu Langley, Second Child, daughter of one of the Human Instrumentality Project’s designers. And while there had been many to decry pinning the blame on those two, that it was unfair to place the sins of the parents on their hapless children, all of those protests faded away when Shinji Ikari made his fateful confession. It had been he that had been given the choice whether or not to allow Third Impact to take place. And it had been he who had made the decision to end the world.

Everyone knows that image of two young teenagers being led from the UN Council by their lawyers and bodyguards, being pelted with garbage from an angry crowd. Whether they saw it in textbooks, had it sent to them by friends as a meme, or even were one of those that watched it live, this is perhaps the most infamous image of the New World. And for a time, most felt that the anger directed at those two was fully justified. Certainly, the UN Council seemed to agree, finding them both guilty of aiding and abetting in SEELE’s schemes to end the world, Shinji intentionally and Asuka unintentionally. The two were then incarcerated in a “secure facility,” and that was that.

Since then, the condition of the two pilots has mostly fallen out of the public’s consciousness. No appeals, no interviews, no word as to what they were up to or how they were doing. Every single “Where are they now?” op-ed has always ended up as a rewritten version of the same events, with each one ending with “Shinji and Asuka: still locked up,” with the only significant change being the number of years between the trial and the newest article’s publication.

Which isn’t to say that they’ve disappeared completely, but rather they seemed to have ceased to become actual public figures and become more of caricatures. They appear in comic strips and cartoons as grossly exaggerated versions of themselves, usually with the destruction of the world as the punchline. They’ve become symbols, memes, representations of the guilt laid upon their shoulders, little more than villains straight out of a children’s story.

Which isn’t to say there haven’t been voices of support over the years. Asuka especially seems to have garnered a small but vocal following, pointing out that she actually had nothing to do with the implementation of Third Impact, and so forcing her to share Shinji’s fate was perhaps unfair. The phrase “Asuka did nothing wrong” has come in and out of vogue, and in time it seems that she has become something of a symbol of the unjustly persecuted. Even Shinji himself, who for so long shouldered the majority of the blame for Third Impact, has seen a turnaround in how the public has treated him, pointing out that perhaps placing the full blame for what had happened upon a child soldier indoctrinated by an evil organization of adult men is a bit unfair.

However, none of these voices ever gained much traction. Once the trial was over, most of humanity’s attention was directed toward just trying to heal, and there was little room for the Evangelion Pilots.

But then, nine months ago, all of that changed.

The hacking of the UN security files and the subsequent leaks of not only their own data on the pilots, but also all of the files that they had managed to recover from NERV, has been nothing less than earth-shaking. Granted, little had been revealed about the Human Instrumentality Project and SEELE’s designs that the public didn’t already know, though the full extent of their machinations had been troubling. However, it was the data on the pilots that had been the most troubling, and revealed how little we truly understood about the Earth’s murderers.

For decades, Shinji Ikari had been painted as a willing participant in his father’s schemes, Gendo Ikari’s heir anointed and trusted lieutenant. But now we knew the truth. He was little more than a child forced into taking part in a war that he wanted no part in and suffered greatly for. We listened to the recordings of his screams of agony, his enraged curses and threats, and his pleas for help on behalf of himself and his fellow pilots. We read the psychological evaluations of his frequent depressive states, his attempts to run away, and the lack of support that he received. We learned of his own father’s cold treatment of him, and how Gendo Ikari would psychologically torture his son to get him back into the cockpit of his Evangelion.

And with all of this came the truth. Shinji and the other pilots were deliberately abused. Evangelions were at their most effective when bonded with a broken soul. The pilots were traumatized time and time again in order to increase their effectiveness in combat and denied help afterward. In light of this new information, we ourselves were forced to confront an uncomfortable truth. Shinji Ikari’s decision to cause Third Impact was less the act of megalomaniac enacting his father’s master scheme as it was that of a suffering child drowning in a sea of rage and torment, desperate to escape the Hell that his life had become.

Who among us as children has not wished that the world would end at one time or another? Shinji was simply unfortunate enough to have the means to do so thrust into his hands when at his lowest, and he had far more reason to do so than anyone ever could have imagined. And by all accounts, he regretted it immediately afterward.

There is no justifying what he did, no taking back the suffering that he caused. But at least now, people have come to understand why, and feel that he had been unfairly mischaracterized by history.

But that was far from the biggest bombshell to come out of that leak. Just as everyone was coming to terms with what we had learned about someone so long believed to be a monster, we discovered something that pushed almost all discussion of Shinji Ikari out of everyone’s minds.

Rei Ayanami had survived.

If there is anyone among the Evangelion Pilots subject to more discussion, demonization, and blame for what had happened, it is her. And why wouldn’t she be? An artificial human, created by a combination of human DNA and genetic material gathered from Lilith, the secretly imprisoned second Angel, literally created to serve as Lilith’s resurrection and the one to carry out the Third Impact.

Rei had fulfilled her purpose. She had bonded with Adam, the first Angel, and transformed into an abomination. Those who witnessed Third Impact spoke of a monster, an enormous pale-skinned woman embracing the Earth. And there was little reason to doubt this, as her gigantic corpse had been found just offshore of the ruins of Tokyo-3 and sits in the Human Instrumentality Research Center to this day, alongside the recovered remains of the Evangelions themselves, the corpses of the Angels, and the last remaining pool of LCL, containing the souls of those who decided to remain in Instrumentality. Surely, if anyone deserves to be painted as a monster, it is her. And it wasn’t as if she were around to protest how the history books characterized her, as she had perished immediately after destroying the world.

Except she hadn’t, at least not permanently. She had come back, and had been found alongside Shinji Ikari and Asuka Langley. The whole time when the UN had been making scapegoats of those poor children, the actual monster had been in their hands, and they said nothing.

However, calling even Rei a monster had proven to be more complicated than anyone could have expected.

The topic of Rei Ayanami’s rebirth is woven into the enigma of her existence. Much has been made of her reincarnation as Lilith, while next to nothing has ever been discussed about Rei Ayanami the person, Rei Ayanami the human. And why would there be? All accounts of her painted her as a cold, emotionless being, as befitting her alien origins. What more is there to discuss?

As it turns out, there is plenty.

We have long known of NERV’s barbaric and, dare I say, downright blasphemous experiments involving the human soul, how each of the Evangelions literally had the soul of a person close to its chosen pilot embedded into its neural network. For Shinji and Asuka, it was their mothers. But what of Rei? What of this artificial person, created from a test tube, born from a vat? What person could possibly fill that role?

As it turns out, it was herself.

Three years after her creation, Rei was accidentally killed by Dr. Akagi, one of the scientists working on the Human Instrumentality Project. Her soul was preserved, thanks to its artificial nature. However, with her death, NERV saw an opportunity. Only half of her soul was implanted within a fresh clone body, while the other served as the core of Unit 00, the first of the Evangelions.

With only half a human soul, Rei’s capacity to experience normal emotions and form human connections was severely stunted, resulting in the passive, almost robotic individual described by those who knew her. She was likewise groomed to be utterly obedient, valuing little for her own life while carrying out her orders with no hesitation. And yet, despite these handicaps, connections did form. Notes from her handlers speak of a growing friendship between herself and Shinji Ikari, one that had NERV’s command concerned. After all, should she somehow break free from their programming, it could threaten all of their carefully laid plans.

This was further complicated by her second death, when Eva 00 became infected by Armisael, the Sixteenth Angel, and was forced to self-destruct before the infection could spread. Again, Rei’s soul was retrieved, but with no Eva to implant half of it into, the entire thing was placed within her new body. And unwilling to risk having a Rei Ayanami suddenly experiencing the full range of human emotions with no prior experience controlling them in such a critical stage, NERV using psychiatric drugs, tranquilizers, and mental conditioning to keep her confined within her customary passive and pliable state, right up until the end.

The topic of Rei’s latest resurrection has also been heavily debated. Certainly, her own recounting of the event has been less than helpful. We know that NERV had a number of clone bodies in reserve should she die in battle, but they were all destroyed leading up to Third Impact. According to Rei herself, a new body was formed by a “her,” presumably Lilith. Another time she claimed to have created the new body herself. But regardless of the body’s origin, following Lilith’s death, her human soul somehow found its way back into the final clone body, where she was later found by Shinji and Asuka, and remained with them for the next fourteen.

Part of the reason that the outrage against the UN has found it difficult to be sustained is that there is a lack of agreement on what exactly to be outraged about, as so much was revealed that turned everything that we thought to be true on its head, causing more confusion than anger. But perhaps the most revealing aspect of the leaks were what has since been dubbed the Pilot Interviews, recordings of the interrogations of the Evangelion Pilots following their capture.

Shinji Ikari’s were certainly eye-opening. Throughout his questioning, he was revealed to be a man haunted by his actions, someone who spent years drowning in guilt and who had only just begun to break the surface. He spoke of his many failed suicide attempts, of begging both Rei and Asuka to put him out of his misery, and seemed completely resigned to whatever justice he was to be sentenced to, though at times a passive-aggressive streak would surface, especially whenever the topic of his infamous father came up. Still, if anything, it was these series of tapes that did the most to rehabilitate his image.

Asuka’s, on the other hand, were anything but passive. If anything, she was downright hostile. It was clear that she did not feel that her and her companion’s capture was in any way justified, and felt compelled to explain her disdain to her interrogators in full, and often very colorful, detail. Nor did she feel the slightest bit remorseful for any part that she had to play in NERV’s atrocities.

There has been some debate if her attitude was warranted, with her defenders pointing out that she was correct, that she hadn’t actually had anything to do directly with Third Impact, while others claim that given the circumstances, her behavior reeked of haughty entitlement.

However, all of that was completely overshadowed by the third set of interview sessions, that of Rei Ayanami.

If Shinji’s were regretful and Asuka’s volatile, then Rei’s were downright unhinged. A far cry from the serene, almost emotionless person that she was said to be, this Rei was fully out of control, at times exploding with anger, screaming curses and profanities and death threats so detailed that they seemed less threats as they were expressed intentions that she would have carried out were she able. Other times she would collapse into a blubbering mess, wailing and pleading for forgiveness. Other times she would enter into a catatonic state, seeming to retreat within herself and not respond to any stimuli whatsoever. And still others times she would sink into a full depressive state, unable to respond with anything more than a few whispered, one-word answers, while frequently asking for death.

Certainly, the tapes of Rei’s sessions were disturbing, and to this day no one seems to know what to make of them. Is she truly the monster that she’s made out to be? An innocent victim? Nothing on those tapes seemed to indicate either way.

However, Dr. Anno of London-2 University seems to have what I feel to be the most likely answer. Rei was someone who grew up as an incomplete person. With half of her soul locked away in a gigantic bio-mechanical abomination, she was kept from experiencing the full range of human emotions, and thus never learned how to control her feelings when those emotions were returned to her. She then spent the next fourteen years thrust into a harrowing survival situation, where her only two points of human contact weren’t exactly the finest examples of emotional stability either.

However, as different as the three pilots’ reactions to their interrogators were, there is one thing that united all three: a fervent, almost desperate concern for the well-being of the other two. Rei was the most overt, with her episodes of rage especially largely spent demanding to see Shinji and Asuka and making graphic threats should any harm befall them, but Shinji and Asuka also frequently pleaded to be reunited with each other and Rei. It is clear that whatever their relationship had been during their time actually piloting the Evangelions, the fourteen years that they had spent together had formed an extremely close bond.

What followed next, we all know. Shinji and Asuka’s capture was made public, with no mention of Rei. Those two were then put on trial before the UN Council and found guilty, with the last time that the world saw them was them being led through a jeering crowd toward the waiting transports. And from there, they were to be taken away, never to see the light of day again.

However, we now know that the trial was, at least in part, a façade. An act. Almost a stage play. A deal had been struck with Shinji Ikari and Asuka Langley: take the fall for the Third Impact, and you will be reunited with Rei. And then the three of you will be taken somewhere safe to live out your days in peace. The world needed a scapegoat, and it was to be them. Naturally, they agreed.

At this point, the tide had fully turned in favor of the unfairly maligned Evangelion Pilots. Even Rei was starting to be treated with some measure of sympathy. But it was what happened next that fully won over people’s hearts.

As I said, we all have the image of Shinji and Asuka being led away from the trial burned into our minds. The sorrow on Shinji’s face and the resentment on Asuka’s. The featureless helmets of their bodyguards. The trash flying through the air, hurled by the angry crowd. But what nobody knew until now was what happened when they reached their destination, and when they were finally reunited with Rei.

The nature of the relationship between Shinji Ikari and Asuka Langley has, like everything else about them, been hotly debated, though it has been commonly accepted that they were lovers. And it was this moment that definitively proved that assertion, but with a new wrinkle: not only were Shinji and Asuka romantically tied, but Rei was equally involved with both of them.

It feels horribly gauche to comment on such an intimate moment, especially since it was no doubt intended to be private, but I feel that it was this moment that the world fully realized how cruel those grossly exaggerated portrayals in our media have been. These were not monsters. These were not villainous masterminds. These were people. People that loved one another, people that were willing to shoulder the blame for history’s greatest tragedy in order to protect one another, people that gave up everything just to be with each other. Yes, they had done terrible things, and yes, they should bear that responsibility. However, it is now clear that they are far from the monsters that history has deliberately painted them out to be.

But of course, it was not enough to completely upend everything that we had thought that we had known the Eva Pilots. It was not enough to smack us with the truth of Rei’s existence or her humanity. We were then confronted with perhaps the strangest revelations of them all.

And that was that the Evangelion Pilots were almost certainly still alive.

One hundred and twelve years have passed since Third Impact, and though people living past a hundred is not unheard of, it is still exceptionally rare. However, even before the leaks, people have pointed that despite the fourteen-year gap between Third Impact and the pilots’ capture, Shinji and Asuka still looked fourteen, when they ought to be in their late twenties. Was this the result of piloting an Evangelion? Some Faustian deal made with Lilith? A result of NERV’s experiments, perhaps?

Whatever it was that kept their youth, it persisted even after their incarceration. Shinji, Asuka, and Rei lived on under the watch of the United Nations for another eight years, and none of them so much as aged a day. What is more, tests ran on the pilots showed that their cells lacked any sort of molecular decay. Quite the contrary, their bodies stalwartly resisted any sort of damage at all. Any wounds were swiftly healed, any diseases immediately snuffed out, with even complete brain death being nothing more than a temporary inconvenience. A rather disturbing but revealing file revealed that all three pilots had attempted suicide a number of different times during the first few years following Third Impact, with Rei Ayanami especially taking painstaking notes on the various methods that she employed and their effectiveness, which was none. There was some speculation as to whether this strange regeneration would persist in the face of total disintegration, but no one was willing to give the go-ahead to check.

Regardless, the case was clear. Whether it be an undeserved blessing or an ironic curse, the three Eva pilots had been afflicted with some sort of immortality, frozen forever in time from the moment of Third Impact. As such, despite the decades since, they are no doubt living today, unchanged from those historical photos.

Unfortunately, there seems no way to actually check, as they are very much gone. As stated before, eight years into their incarceration, they simply vanished without a trace. A thorough, yet discrete investigation into the matter took place, during which a conspiracy sympathetic to the pilots’ plight was uncovered, with a number of UN staffers close to the pilots found to be complicit. However, no one could say where the pilots were now, as their point of release was known only to a small few, and deliberate effort was made not to keep track of them after they had been released.

Which means that Shinji Ikari, Asuka Soryu Langley, and, perhaps most unsettling, Rei Ayanami, the three most controversial figures of the last century, are currently loose somewhere in the world. Perhaps they are wandering the forests of the Americas, the deserts of Africa, or perhaps even returned home to Japan. Perhaps they took on new names, disguised their appearances, and are now living in some suburban home somewhere, or returned their old life from before incarceration and joined one of the many refugee camps in one of the cities slow to recover. They could be in a small Swedish village, in a cabin in the Australian outback, in a treehouse in the Amazon jungle, or any one of the literally millions of other points on the map.

Naturally, there has been much talk about finding them again, some wishing to make amends and publicly make up for the blame that they had been forced to shoulder, others feeling that they still had not repaid their debt to society and should be returned to imprisonment. And there are still others that do not care for either side, but instead insist that they remain a clear and present danger, that more was changed about them than granting them eternal life, that they are inhuman monsters fully capable of ending the world again and need to be stopped. But whatever the motive, something almost everyone agrees on is that they do need to be found.

And I am here to offer up a dissenting opinion. Regardless of whether you love them, hate them, feel bad for them, or feel threatened by them, the Evangelion Pilots should be left alone. This, I feel, would be best for everyone.

Whenever the exploits, positive or negative, of the pilots are brought up, there seems to be a sort of hierarchy to the degree each one is discussed. Shinji seems to be the one brought up the most, as he is still unquestionably the trigger-man of Third Impact. Asuka comes next, given everyone’s complicated feelings toward her and her swaths of supporters. After that is Rei, who, even before her survival was discovered, still occupied a very contentious place in history as the monster who directly ended the world. And then there is Kaworu Nagisa, perhaps the greatest enigma of them all, a half-Angel/half-human artificial being like Rei, created specifically by SEELE as a countermeasure to any possible treachery on NERV’s part, but was killed by Shinji Ikari before his plans could come about, and yet seems to have played as vital a part in Third Impact as Rei, but by the same token, apparently did not see resurrection like she did.

But there is a fifth name that is often forgotten in those discussions, a fifth Evangelion Pilot. And that is none other than Touji Suzuhara the Fourth Child.

It is not that Touji is totally unknown, but he exists in the public consciousness as a sort of footnote, a trivia question at best. Though he was selected as a pilot and given an Evangelion of his own, his Evangelion became possessed by Bardiel, the Thirteenth Angel, during its first test run, leading to its destruction. And though he survived, Touji was critically injured in the process, and with no Evangelion to pilot, he quietly left the program to fade out of history.

In a way, Touji was perhaps the luckiest one of them all. The early destruction of his Evangelion protected him from having to participate in the mentally harrowing battles against the Angels, and he was spared of being an active participant in Third Impact. Even afterward, he was part of the first wave of people to emerge from Instrumentality, even reuniting with most of his family and many of his friends, going on to live about as full of a life as one could in those desolate circumstances. And while the tides of history have mostly washed over him, some effort was made to locate him. During Shinji and Asuka’s trials, once it was discovered that he was among the refugees recovered from Tokyo-3, there were multiple news outlets attempting to seek him out for interviews. However, they were far too late, as he and his family were long gone.

And I know all of this, as Touji Suzuhara was my great-grandfather.

I have very little memory of Touji. Though he lived much longer than most, he at least was spared the immortality that afflicted the other pilots and passed away when I was six, and what little I do recall about him paints a picture of a quiet, reserved old man. However, in interviewing various members of my family, I was told of someone who made every effort to flee his past but was unable to fully shake its shadow. I heard stories of bullying and harassment in those early refugee camps, of the other survivors trying to blame him and his family for what had happened, much as Shinji and Asuka would be publicly blamed later. It got to the point that as soon as they were rescued and carried away from Tokyo-3, his whole family changed their names and fled, disappearing into a still-chaotic world to find a place where nobody knew them.

In time, they succeeded, eventually settling in Austria. Though they had nothing and did not even know the language, that mattered little as very few of their neighbors had much either, and they were far from the only immigrants wandering in. There, they were able to blend in, carving out a niche for themselves and building something resembling a life, and no one ever discovered their connection to history’s so-called greatest monsters.

But even so, my great-grandfather never forgot. Though he never neglected his family and tried his best to provide for them, everyone that I spoke to made him out to be a broken man, someone who had lost the light in his eyes, who would smile very little and always seemed to be lost in his own thoughts. It was forbidden to speak to him of the time before Third Impact, and the very few times he did talk of it, it was from the viewpoint of someone who never truly left Tokyo-3, haunted by ghosts.

Touji might have been forgotten by history, but he bore his scars. Unfair blame was placed upon my family’s shoulders for what had happened, and we know all too well what it is like to be made scapegoats by the those who need someone to blame for their suffering. And though I have never met Shinji Ikari, Asuka Soryu Langley, or Rei Ayanami, and know about as much about them as everyone else, I at least have some measure of understanding of how unfairly they’ve been characterized. And I am sure that they desire validation about as much as they deserve further condemnation, which is to say, not at all. As such, I feel that the kindest thing to do would be to just let them be. Wherever they are, leave them alone to seek their own peace. Because I assure you, they have paid for their sins in full. They pay every day, remembering their part in the previous world’s death.

And to those who still think them a threat, who still believe that they possess the power to once again end the world despite no evidence to back that up, consider this: they have had ample opportunity and reason to wield that power, and yet never have. As such, perhaps it would be best not to provoke them?

No matter how you feel about the Evangelion Pilots, I see little that can be gained by seeking them out. They have taken more than their fair punishment, and would likely shun any reward. And as the descendant of one of their number, I say, let my great-grandfather’s companions be and move on. We have all suffered enough.

#neon genesis evangelion #(after)life #fanfic #shinji ikari #asuka langley soryu #rei ayanami #toji suzuhara #asurei #asushin #reishin #asureishin

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alilaro · 1 year

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I have some Thoughts on Evangelion, and I'm hyperfixating right now, so here's a massive info-dump on it. Thank you and I'm sorry.

(trigger warnings for: child abuse, child death, gore mention, pedophilia, mental health, depression, suicide, and potentially more.)

———————————————→

So, my take on the End Of Evangelion is like a 'Worst Timeline AU.' So what would've happened if Shinji had given into the crippling (justified) trauma and deepest depression of an abused, manipulated, and unfathomably damaged child soldier.

The way Misato constantly screams at him throughout the entire series to 'be a man' and pressures him to get into the EVA and fight literal biblical, kaiju-like angels.

The pressure of trying and failing to get a crumb of praise or approval from his neglectful and spiteful father.

The way people (and fans, tbh) get upset with him for constantly changing his mind. How if he doesn't pilot the EVA, either he or his friends could die. The pressure every adult puts on him. Or again, the absolute cosmic terror of just seeing—let alone having to murder these angels.

Of course, he quits all the time, he's 14. He's a child. An average adult with all the combat training in the world would easily do the same.

Yet he comes back again and again, because of the guilt, the self-loathing, the manipulation of the adults around him—

(who can have all the greatest intentions in the world, "the greater good", etc etc, and it doesn't change a goddamn thing that they are putting these children into death machines and treating it like if they dont do it they are selfish and worthless)

—that if he doesn't do it, his friends will do it and either they or others will die if it's not him.

Like, the point isn't that he can't make up his mind: it's the fact that even if he "gives up", he still keeps coming back, and putting himself before others, despite the grief, despite the pain, despite the trauma

A fourteen-year-old child refuses to stop getting up and trying. Which I feel is symbolic of the whole shows entire meaning, no matter how dark things are, how much you hurt, how much others hurt you, how you feel like nothing, and you want it all to just stop—the pain, the memories, the guilt, the crushing weight of complete utter depression—even as the darkest envelops you and holds you tight, you feel like you can never escape: there is ALWAYS a way out of it.

It's fucking hard, you will lose yourself in it, you will hurt so, so much—but eventually you can find your way out. Through time, through loved ones, through therapy, and more. It's never too late or someone is too far gone in their own despair that they can't be saved and brought back.

And that's not even mentioning the other children. Fans enjoy Asuka more than Shinji because she's got that quick, snappy, high-energy personality. She's overly proud and stubborn, and she loves to fight in her EVA. And Rei, she's the shy quiet girl (a Kuudere, even (didnt like writing that)) designed to be mysterious, and to speculate over. Who is she? Why is she so calm? Does she have a personality behind that demeanor?

But, just like Shinji, they are all child soldiers, and like him, they are products of trauma and manipulation by adults.

Rei, was made in a fool-hearted attempt to bring back Shinji's mother, Yui Ikari, by combining her remains with Lilith. What they got was Rei. An assimilation of Yui, Lilith, Eva, all combining into Rei Ayanami.

Her creators obviously had attachments to her, both having loved Yui before her death, and Gendo Ikari almost took her on as a daughter-like figure (Rei being the name he would've given to his child Shinji, if he had been born a girl,) and revoltingly even more than that.

But as the theme of the series goes, good intentions from adults mean very little, and often act as nothing more than an excuse for creating/doing inconceivably monstrous acts.

She is of course used as an EVA pilot, being able to manipulate her form into a 14-year-old. She is used as a tool. She is replaceable. She knows this. She has no desires because no one has ever cared enough about Rei as her own person to let her think for herself, asked her what she wants, her likes, her dreams, her fears.

Rei's entire existence at this point is to serve, and in an eerie way, the only thing she wants is to serve Gendo, because he's shown her the only breadcrumbs of "compassion" she's ever known.

And then Shinji comes along. Shinji has no idea what she is, only that she is another EVA pilot like himself. He speaks to her as he would anyone else. He cares about her, and her well-being as another person. Actual true compassion.

In episode 06, when Rei is hurt and thought to have died by Shinji, he pries open the hatch to her EVA, ignoring the scalding heat that burns his hands to do so. He finds her alive and cries, and she smiles for him.

This scene is an exact parallel that takes place before with Rei and Gendo (Shinji's father.) He pries open the hatch, scalding his hands too, and finds her alive inside. It's identical except for one thing: Compassion.

Shinji fights to free and help Rei, and when he sees her alive, he is overcome with relief that she, Rei, is alive. He is in tears, he tells her she isn't nothing, implying her life is worth something and people care about her.

When Gendo does it, he does it like a man trying to save a valuable asset. He sees she's okay, and mutters 'I see', and that's the end of it.

Again, in episode 23, when Rei actually dies and is replaced; she is confronted by herself (the Meta Rei, the Rei in her purest, most godly self. A combination of all her sense of beings,) and realizes that she is feeling, she is lonely, she is suffering, and for the first time she cries, and asks herself if this just for her love of Gendo, before sacrificing herself in death to save everyone—specifically shinji.

She is replaced by her many clones, but this time she regains some of her memories, her feelings, her anger, and she is more human now, less vessel, more soul. She is Rei.

In the End of Evangelion, we see the depths of Gendo's depravity. He wants his wife, Yui, back as she was, of course. But in the meanwhile, there's Rei. Rei who is part Yui—a substitute. He touches her breast, an attempt to merge with her, and moves his hand down further to rest between her hips, inside her.

Rei is as much his daughter figure and a child, as she is a part of his own wife, and arises from this: an Oedipus Complex. Gendo treats her as a disposable tool, yet holds Yui at his highest priority. She is his to do with as she likes. How many times has he used her like this? How many times has he committed these atrocities with this child behind closed doors?

Amongst everything else Rei is, she is also a victim of pedophilia.

And in her final moments, while he attempts to merge with Rei in a delusional attempt to bring back Yui, Rei becomes her own being. Rei puts her foot down and says no. She's had enough.

"I will not be a puppet for you to control."

She takes the hand of Adam, fully merges with Lilith, and becomes a God.

And what does she do with all that power? She takes it all, and gives it to Shinji. The one person that ever consistently showed her care and compassion, showed her love. Made her realize she is her own person, gives her the strength to realize her worth and refuse Gendo Ikari, and choose her own path.

Her choice can be argued as good or bad, both. But in the end it was REI's choice, and no one elses.

Asuka uses her anger and her fighting as a means to cope with a barbaric childhood. Her mother, Kyoko, underwent a Contact Experiment when Asuka would have been ~5 years old.

Kyoko survived, but lost her mind completely, thinking her real daughter was actually a doll, and leaving Asuka completely neglected by her mother, all whilst begging and trying to convince her that SHE was her real daughter, not some doll she clung to.

Meanwhile, her father was completely unaffected by this, and even had moved on with another woman (An affair that had been going on before Kyoko fell apart completely, the woman being Kyoto's doctor, that she knew about, and took place in their own home while both mother and daughter were present.) Throwing himself back into his own life with this new woman, and job, Asuka was left with nothing.

Asuka's mother finally snaps and plans her own suicide. She invites Asuka, and with nothing else and wanting nothing more than to be acknowledged by anyone, agrees to take their lives together.

As if all of this isn't bad enough, as a final blow, Asuka's mother takes her own life without Asuka, leaving a five-year-old CHILD to find her mother hanging lifelessly, betrayed and alone again.

Her entire personality isn't because she's 'cool' or 'bossy', its an unfathomably traumatized child, constantly in pain and unable to trust anyone, because she has been taught as an infant that she can not rely on the people meant to care for her, because her parents taught her that in the most brutal and disturbing way possible.

There's even reference to her trying to repeat her mother's suicide after disappearing from the fight, only to be found gravely injured and withering away in a bathtub.

She fights so hard to be independent because she refuses to let herself be hurt and abandoned again.

At the End of Evangelion, even when she is screaming and crying, bleeding to death after being speared through the eye, losing power, and being cannibalized alive in her EVA, she is still so desperate, so angry, that she refuses to die, swearing vengeance on her enemies through dying rattled breaths, and it isn't until she is bombarded with blades that she finally succumbs. And at the hands of NERV.

Again, she, and every single EVA pilot, is only 14 years old.

tldr: The series is about child trauma, children being turned into soldiers, the failings of adults around them, and the tragically brutal and real aftermath of the wreaks of havoc that would have on a child.

#I had to get this out of me because the loud fanbase for this show is fucking putrid #and also im hyperfixating and needed to get that out of my system LMAO #evangelion #neon genesis evangelion #eva #end of evangelion #evangelion shinji #evangelion asuka #evangelion rei #shinji ikari #asuka langley sōryū #rei ayanami #kyoko zeppelin sōryū #saiyū langley #gendo ikari #yui ikari

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unfilteredcurse · 3 months

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100% agree on the entire tekken fandom being so fucking weird with jin kazama smh (especially fucking reddit, twitter, and the youtube comments section which is why i rarely look up tekken content on those sites in particular). that would be like if you were a star wars fan and you can't even enjoy luke skywalker without someone talking about how "luke tried to kill his own nephew yet he forgave his father, he is a hypocrite and a bad hero you're a bad person if you like luke". just like luke in star wars the last jedi, jin was ooc as fuck in tekken 6. even the writers themselves admitted they didn't want to do this, it only happened because of harada and they got so much backlash for that character assassination back when tekken 6 was first released. so why...why for over 10 years do i have to constantly see so many unfunny repetitive jokes, hate, and slander about jin kazama. why is the only thing i see when i look up jin is "ww3" for the billionth time. why did i have to see people making customizations of jin dressing up like h*tler, p*tin, and fucking s*suke uchiha. why do i have to see fucked up fan fiction of kazuya, miguel, or fucking s*suke uchiha raping and torturing jin kazama to "punish him for his war crimes and also because he never suffered what kazuya/miguel/s*suke suffered from". i'm also so sick and tired of seeing fucking s*suke uchiha stans and r/Tekken daring to comparing my boy jin kazama to that stupid uchiha from naruto who is a misogynistic egotistical narcissistic irredeemable skinny femboy twink asshole. jin would never try to kill xiaoyu multiple times, unlike s*suke who tried to kill two women who admired him. jin has no ego unlike that ego obssessed jerk s*suke. jin is actually handsome and hot, he's a muscular toned man and not just anohter generic femboy twink. jin was never cruel to either her or hwoarang. if anything jin was always more like itachi uchiha, jin always said "forgive me" to his opponents and his motivation, both jin and itachi have the whole black feather aesthetic, both jin and itachi hate their own bloodline, and jin's goal is to kill/stop his own bloodline for the greater good just like itachi. jin would fucking choke and then brutally murder s*suke for what he did to both team 7 and team taka. damn it harada, why didn't you just retcon it like how you retconned kazumi having the devil gene but not jinpachi. why didn't they just say that jin kazama was brainwashed by azazel or something. sometimes i can't help but think about an alternative timeline where tekken 6 scenario campaign never happened, jin was still loved and the side characters (ex. Asuka and Paul) were not made irrelevant joke characters and had something to do.

forgive me if i got a bit too extreme here, but i...i...i just had to let out my emotions now. jin has always been important to me, he's my childhood crush and also one of my biggest comfort characters (along with mitsuru from persona 3 and kiryu from yakuza). which is also why i'm so glad i found posts like these, my feelings feel validated.

Oh believe me, I feel ya, anon. I guess this is just what they call the pain of loving a cursed character doomed by both the fandom and the narrative... but in the end, we all know what's actually beneath all that and that there is much more than meets the eye to Jin (and other characters too).

Also, comparing Jin to fucking P*tin and H*tler is.... something entirely else and I am honestly terrified of those people if their reading comprehension leads them to these comparisons. I just-

You don't know how much patience I have to build up to (sort of) stay in the fandom with all these "jokes" still running around kn freaking 2024. I wanna say that I sincerely hope it will get better, but seeing the overall state of the fandom now and 5-10 ywars ago... I kind if doubt it will get better any time soon.

#ask #my answer #anon confession #tekken #jin kazama #cw genocide mention #gaius talk

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krakenshaped · 9 months

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Tag Duel bios are so funny because they include so much dumbass trivia and a whole section on each character's love life for some reason? Trivia detailed below because it's SO funny.

(From Tag Force 2)

Judai: Apparently not only is Judai really disinterested in girls but no girl has ever hit on him before which is why Judai finds Rei scary ("It will be interesting to see how Jaden reacts to Blair Flannigan, who becomes really infatuated with him. No one like that has been around him before.") It's stated he's happy to eat everything. Not anything. Everything. Judai is an unstoppable gluttonous machine.

Sho: Honestly the funniest entry by far. Someone on this writing team just wants Sho to SUFFER and its lowkey hilarious. This kid exists to be in pain. Apparently he "tends to fall in love very easily. On top of that, he cares quite a lot about looks, making things even more difficult for himself." His favourite food is shrimp but can't stand spicy food. I don't know if this is a direct translation or a dub gag but apparently he changes his glasses on special occasions but nobody ever notices (lol)

Asuka: Asuka's crush on Judai is described as a mystery which is interesting. Apparently Asuka doesn't even know she has a crush on Judai which is so funny, I love you girl. Seeing Rei flirt with Judai apparently puts her in a bad mood. Apparently if she was to look for a partner, it would be someone who can put her mind at ease. ("More than maybe anything else, she needs a partner to give her peace of mind if they really want to support her") The bio makes a point of speculating whether or not she's good at cooking since Judai is Duel Academy's hungriest guy. She likes sweets! And healthy food and dislikes stuff with strong smells.

Manjoume: His bio is so funny. Like. So funny. The first paragraph basically calls him a tsundere (true). Canon use of bad language (whether or not this is cursing or just general Manjoume rudeness - LET HIM SAY FUCK!!!) He's described as being obsessed with Asuka - although not as infatuated as he used to be. Dude does NOT eat his veggies!!! He likes expensive food and hates vegetables!!! He is NOT growing big and strong!!!

Kenzan: Kenzan bio is really just contributing to sweet kid propaganda. I am a Kenzan fan and apologist he is one of my favourite characters. "Hassleberry stands out at Duel Academy due to his very muscular physique. Although he's probably very good in a fight, he's by no means a violent person. In fact, he's usually very kind and generous." YOU BET!!!! KENZAN IS A SWEETHEART!!! KENZAN NO.1 IN THE WORLD!!! He's apparently pretty fashionable, as on top of the bio rehashing that he modified his own uniform, it mentions that he would probably do the same to the Obelisk Blue Uniform. Which is interesting!!! Fun headcanon material! Apparently he has no dislikes but his favourite food is fish (another fishing enjoyer too)

Edo: This bio was the worst victim of dub translations as it reiterates the dub version where his father is kidnapped and not like dead LMAO. Other than that tho? Apparently he doesn't really show interest in romance since he was too busy hunting for revenge but now that it's been settled "Aster finally has time to look for love. It'll be really exciting to see he goes for it or not." According to the bio he's considered good looking in universe. His favourite food is steak and other meats.

Rei: Apparently Manjoume's entire room was just turned into a Red Girl's Dorm. Which is tbh. Hilarious. Not only did he get evicted by a toddler but his entire room that he stole his brother's credit card for was turned into a girls only space lmao. Apparently Rei is actually one of the best at dueling among the entirety of the first years (real I feel like people sleep on Rei's dueling abilities sometimes since she's. Yknow. Like that.) She likes sweet and spicy food.

Johan: Finally. Weirdo Johan propaganda. He's described as someone who's thoughtful but frank and says the craziest weirdest shit sometimes. His whole bio paints him as someone who's very composed but can be reckless or impulsive when he's in the heat of the moment or excited. Incredibly funny how the bio claims "Nobody knows what kind of girl he likes. If the right young lady does come on the scene though, we wonder if the Crystal Beasts will call a family meeting..." (LMAO.) His favourite food is... Bread stuffed with various unusual fillings. You know this guy makes the WORST, WEIRDEST sandwiches known to man.

Jim: interestingly, despite the game referring to Karen as Karen in Jim's dialogue, the bio calls her Shirely. More reasons why changing the name for the damn crocodile was so silly. We do not information about Jim's love life or favourite food in his bio :(

O'Brien: Not much is said about the non-Johan transfer students. Like. Nothing except information you could find the anime. Interestingly enough though, O'Brien likes cola and junk food.

Misawa: One paragraph. Mf gets one paragraph in his bio. Is described as having a good personality but isn't treated well by his peers. (I wonder why.)

Fubuki: "ALL THE WOMEN FLOCK TO HIM WHEN HE APPEARS!!!!" His bio also reiterates his friendship with Ryo and questions what it's like since "They seem like polar opposites"

Momoe and Junko have bios too!!! Although they're mostly described as growing apart a little from Asuka :( Although apparently Momoe hangs out with Judai's clique a lot. Junko on the other hand is influenced mostly by what Momoe does.

If I've missed anything, or somethings been lost in the English translation let me know! I love collecting trivia brbrbbr

#tag force 2 #ygo trivia #character bios

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karizard-ao3 · 6 months

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My reactions to Evangelion episode 18: Ambivalence

It sounds like this episode is going to be intense based on the preview from the last episode. It was something like, "It's great everyone got to be happy for a little bit before tragedy struck" and I'm wondering if it's time for the spoiler i saw about Toji when I was looking up his last name :(

Kensuke, you do not want the job.

God, what's he going to do when he finds out his two best bros are both pilots

They mention the second impact a lot at this school.

I'm not sure why Asuka is taking out her issues with Toji becoming a pilot on Shinji. I feel like I missed something in the last episode. Although, thinking about it, Toji being a pilot has made Rei worried about Shinji, so I'm now thinking Asuka is worried about him, too, but is expressing it in a very... uh... vibrant way. I guess they're worried about how he's going to take it when he finds out, since I'm sure he doesn't want any of his loved ones going through that kind of pain/struggle. I thought she was mad about having to share the limelight with someone she dislikes, but I don't think that's really it. When/ if I rewatch this, I'm going to have to pay closer attention when I watch the last episode again.

Kaji talking about not ever really being able to know someone reminds me of the stuff about how many different versions of oneself there are. I do really wonder what effect piloting the Evas has on the selves. I feel sure it's doing something to them, but I don't know what.

Oh, class rep brought the lunch for him :(

Ugh what if Shinji finds out Toji is the pilot after he's dead?

Wait wait wait. An Angel in the Eva or the Angel was the Eva? I'm rewinding.

Are they using the dummy capsule or whatever its called?

I am still mystified.

Did anyone survive?

Oh fuck they're going to make Shinji kill Toji. He's probably going to deliver the killing blow and then find out.

Fuck, Asuka!

She can't do it because she knows him.

Oh, shit! Rei!

Fuuuuck.

Rip the entry plug out, Shinji!

This reminds me of what happened to Shinji's Eva with the sphere. Like, how it was roaring and tearing things up.

Gendo, that is your kid!

Shinji, my beloved!

Switching to the dummy plug, huh? Unit 1 is about to go apeshit

And Shinji, who refused to murder someone, has to sit there and watch.

Did I know Evas could bleed?

Oh, fuck... Toji.

He's alive for now, it sounds like, unless they were referring to a different living pilot and Shinji (and therefore us) thought they meant Toji. Either way, what a gut punch

In Conclusion

I feel like I need time to let this one settle. Like, there wasn't a lot revealed about NERV or anything like that. This one definitely seemed more character driven. We for sure saw Gendo prioritizing the Evas and the war on the Angels against Shinji's well-being, which is like... How are you going to sit there and watch your son choke to death? He was really quick to sever Rei's arm without turning of the nerve link or whatever it's called, but I feel like that could also be interpreted as him being much more quick to save her than Shinji.

Also, the Evas behavior when they are not synced with a human feels very significant. I feel like once I reach all the reveals I'm going to be like, "Oh, duh!" but I'm still kind of turning it over in my head. We've seen time and again through the series that they are erratic and, except for that time with Shinji in the first episode, they default to violence when they are not under a pilot's control. It must be mentally exhausting to control something so alien and feral for sure. Maybe it's because a personality without a heart/soul regresses to the worst parts of itself. Which part of the psyche is the one that succumbs to all its impulses? The id? Anyway, I don't know but I'm wondering if this was the Angels' plan when they vaporised Base 2 (?). Infect unit 3, get it back to Japan, and then rampage.

We got to see a side of Shinji that we usually don't get to see, where he refused to take orders based on his own sense of right and wrong. I'm proud of him, especially since he stood up to his father in the process. It's awful that he had his agency stripped away from him and was forced to watch himself do it anyway. What a violation.

Anyway, I have to get to bed but I'm hoping to get another episode in tomorrow.

Lol what if it's the dark glasses are making Gendo evil and if he put on a normal pair of spectacles again he would become a chill guy. I kid, I kid.

So long for now!

#neon genesis evangelion #evangelion #first watch #thoughts #reactions #shinji ikari #toji suzuhara #rei ayanami #asuka langley soryu #misato katsuragi #ryoji kaji #gendo ikari

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ancientevangelions · 7 months

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I rarely comment, but I always defer to your Eva-related opinions. So,

25. Shikinami or Soryu?

Shikinami or Soryu?

Asuka Langley Soryu is my girl all the way. Soryu is the most real 14-year-old girl I have ever experienced when I watched in 2010; I related to her so much with the need to be perfect and show off and have people recognize your talents. The isolation, the loneliness, the hurt and the pain. Feeling misunderstood, hurt and neglected... She's such a real example of a survivor and a doomed protagonist. Asuka Langley Soryu had layers to her character, suffered from communication challenges (as many of us do as teenagers), and wanted to prove herself to be seen as an adult. Asuka Langley Soryu had depth to her character. Yes, she could be mean, but she was also kind when it counted. And then, after episode 16, everyone gets so much worse as the trauma piles up.

Shikinami could have done more. Sure, she confessed her feelings to Shinji in the last movie, which was HUGE for Asuka's character, but her personality was never fleshed out. A friend asked, "Why is Asuka so angry in these movies? in the series, she was a complex character and had trauma and sweet moments, but in the movies, she's just so mad all the time." I didn't like the whole clone angle; it would have made for an exciting plot or backstory if it had been explored. Instead, it was an afterthought. They might as well have said, "Asuka is actually a hologram," which would have made as much sense. Shikinami never ages 14 years; at 28, her personality is the same as when she was 14. You can argue all you want that well. Her brain probably stayed the same, but life experiences didn't change anything for her either. It was just so unsatisfying; the time skip offered nothing.

Both have the will and determination, but Shikinami differs from Soryu, and the differences without character development don't appeal as strongly to me. I still buy a lot of Asuka merch, but we all know I'm pretending it's Soryu. ;)

#neon genesis evangelion #rebuild of evangelion #asuka langley soryu #asuka langley shikinami #asks

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heretherebedork · 1 year

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Asuka is 100% just helping out a friend.

I agree with you. I don't even think it's occurred to Asuka that Shun could be jealous. I genuinely think that Asuka believes that the romantic gestures he wants, like holding hands, are not something that Shun would even like or want to do. Which is interesting, because we saw in the episode that Shun wasn't against holding Asuka's hand and only dropped it because - as you pointed out - he thinks it's a distraction.

Asuka has this vision of Shun that isn't entirely accurate, and I think that's why he feels so comfortable fake dating his friend and not even telling him about it.

I do wonder if Shun is going to go directly confront Asuka about it or whether he's going to let it fester like Asuka does with his feelings of loneliness .

I don't think it occurred to Shun that he could be jealous. Like, I genuinely think Shun is going to be just as shocked by this as Asuka is. He's struggling to recognize his own emotions, let alone Asuka's. We know how he looks at this relationship and he might be in it but he's also very dispassionate about it.

Shun cares about Asuka but he is his first real romantic relationship (most likely, we can't be sure) and he seems rather upset at his own reaction in the preview for next week rather than more upset at Asuka... not that you can tell from a preview but his language is different.

I think this jealousy is gonna be a shock to both of them.

And this is what's so good about the cross generational friendships alongside the relationships.

Shun and Shin being friends is beautiful because Shin is straightforward enough that he won't mince words or hide how he feels or how Asuka feels. He knows his friend, even if their friendships is reluctant, and he won't hesitate to tell Shun to talk to him and be more clear with him.

Both Asuka and Shun are holding a lot of ideas about each other that are based on who they are themselves rather than who they're actually dating. And Asuka is holding so much back and so much loneliness that he's ready to crack but he wants this relationship so much that he's trying to set aside his own needs to not lose things.

While Shun is also in this relationship but he's much more prone to place all the importance of his own priorities and on what he thinks matters more like school and grades and work rather than the interpersonal means of their relationship. He wants to see Asuka succeed and if that means putting space between them he will for Asuka's sake... which is hurting Asuka because he desperately wants to feel closer to him.

I really do wonder which way Shun is going to go on this. We see him talking to Shin in the preview but what result with that have? And how will he lead into the conversation? How much weight is he putting on the idea that Asuka said he would be happy 'just being at his side' but is struggling with the reality of what that means?

I do think that Shun can grow and change and that Asuka can also learn and change as well. They are both growing and to grow together means that need to communicate. Shun is willing to give Asuka affection but when he does (rarely) Asuka's big reaction leads him to believe that Asuka can't do anything else when he's being affectionate... which is true? in a way? But mostly because it's so rare.

This date situation really just highlights the issues between them but also the care between them. They both want this date and we see that, again and again. They both want to go on this date. It's just that Shun values Asuka's future and Asuka values their relationship and they're not communicating openly enough to even realize that's the disconnect between them/

They are definitely going to hurt each other. I just don't know if they can manage Shin and Minato's straightforward communication or if they're going to need more upset and pain and help before they can find the words they need.

Asuka even admits that he wants, and needs, to talk to Shun but can't figure out what to say. And that's their biggest problem.

I love them so much, your honor.

#asked and answered #minato coin laundry 2 #minato shouji coin laundry 2 #minato's laundromat 2 #bl drama #bl series #asianlgbtqdramas #asian lgbtq dramas #asuka x shu #asuka x hiiragi #hiiragi x asuka #shun x asuka #asuka x shun #shu x asuka

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muggle-born-princess · 6 months

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Not the anon who sent the quote, and I'm confused as to why they thought it fit ... In the first place because Chloé isn't alone, Sabrina is unwaveringly loyal to her, so was Adrien before she categorically refused to progress, and everyone keeps reaching out to help her, she simply would rather not see her own wrongs than 'remedy to her loneliness' (which, again, she isn't alone).

Asuka who says those words in Neon Genesis Evangelion indeed, is written nothing like Chloé and doesn't serve the same purpose as a character at all. She's a mirror to the protagonist's own suffering, though she appears much stronger than him because they don't deal with their pain in the same way at all, yet ultimately they are the same.

So hum yeah, I'm not sure what the other anon was trying to accomplish here ...

The original post right here

Keep in mind, as I said before, I never once saw Neon Genesis Evangelion, so I am not 100% sure if the quote itself does fit Chloe or not. I just thought the ask/quote were both interesting, so that's why I allowed the submission.

As for Chloe not being "lonely" because she has Adrien and Sabrina, that kinda depends on context. Yes technically, they were her only 2 friends, but here's the kicker:

Do you recall back in "Malediktator" when being confronted by Ladybug, she confessed that she had no friends? Is it possible that Chloe only said that because she felt guilty for treating Adrien and Sabrina like crap (As in invading one's personal space and forcing him to be his only friend and treating the other as a pack mule) and that she knew that she was being a shitty friend to them deep down; or did she meant that despite having everything in life, she was secretly lonely deep down? Remember, she also said that "No one likes me."

#miraculous ladybug #chloe bourgeois #ask #anon

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solradguy · 1 year

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Question: Is the "basic theory of the force of law" mentioned in Isotope & Isolation the same thing as the Theory of Magical Science (魔法科学論, if I have the kanji right) mentioned in GGWorld?

Asuka is stated to have worked on it, and it feels a little strange to have him already be a trusted disciple of the Original so early in the timeline, but he is also stated to be a "young genius scientist" in the same story, so I suppose he's just that much of a workaholic.

While I'm here, I wanted to say thank you for all your translation work! I'm new to the franchise but the lore is super interesting, and the effort to compile it is very much appreciated!

Ah, I'd put off answering this until after I got done with work for the day because I was expecting to have to go digging through old manuscripts and JP>EN dictionaries, but it turned out Past!Me had the foresight to include the kanji for "basic theory of the force of law" as a footnote in my English translation document!! (I need to find a way to get the footnotes into the Neocities pages... hmm...)

Anyway, it IS a different kanji: 法力

This was an entire pain in the ass to translate into English. I'll copy-paste the full footnote I wrote for it:

The kanji for “force of law” here are 「法力」which translate to a Buddhist concept relating to a “mysterious power” obtained by practicing Buddhism. This term also appears in Dr. Paradigm’s story, Introduction To Metaphysics, so I reused the translation I went with there for consistency. It does not have a satisfying agreed upon English translation and I chose to render it following a similar “feeling” to the term instead.

The GG2Overture Material Collection short stories have a lot of complex kanji (like 法力 and other Backyard-related terms) that don't have firmly defined official translations in the English localizations or are otherwise wildly left up to interpretation. I think anyone that wants to challenge themselves with a bite-sized, yet difficult, translation project should take a swing at these stories. Having multiple interpretations can only make them easier to understand.

As far as I can tell, only two translations of ISOTOPE & ISOLATION are out there currently: mine and one by Suzaku. Here's the original JP line, my translation, and then Suzaku's translation. This is the very first sentence of this story:

法力の基礎理論を完成させた人類は、休む間もなく様々な分野への理論の応用研究を開始した。

My translation:

Having completed the basic theory of the force of law, humanity began researching applications of that theory in various fields without a break.

Suzaku's (Evernote link to full story):

The human race had completed a basic theory of magic, and without rest began applied research of the theory in a variety of fields.

Honestly, Suzaku's line is much more elegant haha Though, I'm not entirely sure that "magic" should be the word used there, but also I'm confident how I ended up translating it is accurate either. "Magic" is very plainly used in 魔法科学論 (those first two characters) and 法力 DOES contain one half of the kanji used for "magic" so I can see why Suzaku went with that. In the end it's just an annoyingly vague term all around!!! Awful!!

I noticed a (very minor) error in my translation of Paradigm's story the other day, so I think I might touch up all of my GG2OMC translations in the near future. When I do, I'm gonna sift through some more recent (>2014) JP GG documents and see if I can find an instance of 法力 and how the official localization team translated it. When I first translated these stories, I didn't have as big an archive of both Japanese and English Guilty Gear documents as I do now.

Welcome to the GG fandom, too!! This series' lore is insane, but it's so much fun. Glad you're enjoying it so far. Thanks for the compliment!!

#asks #long post

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blossomingbellflower · 9 months

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[ dying breath ] sender talks to receiver before dying ((OOC: look... I, an angst loving gremlin is curious to see how you'll do with this one. I love non-canon memes kekw))

𝑵𝑶𝑵-𝑽𝑬𝑹𝑩𝑨𝑳 𝑨𝑵𝑮𝑺𝑻 𝑷𝑹𝑶𝑴𝑷𝑻𝑺.|| @fangsofdestruction

🏹 Kikyou had the misfortune of experiencing a wide variety of hardships, traumas and losses. Truly, the agony suffered overpowered the fleeting moments of happiness throughout her existence.

Upon her latest resurrection, she had resigned herself to a life of solitude. Her broken heart had frozen over, devoid of warmth and love. She had nothing and no one. This simple empty and lonesome state of existence was meant to carry her until she died again--be it naturally or by the hands of another.

But it was not meant to be.

For fate in its cruelty, had other plans.

And unbeknownst initially, the ice barricade around her heart had begun to melt over time. A fluttering of happiness and contentment returned--and Kikyou found herself once more basking in the proffered light that life had introduced. Even if her feelings were unrequited, it was enough to be at his side. To traverse with him. To watch the stars and have few conversations.

To experience these things again..to feel love once more..Kikyou was grateful. Whether Sesshomaru was aware of it or not, she owed him this much.

And yet..when he needed assistance the most, she could not give it to him. Why could she not protect the things she loved and cared for? Why could she not be of more use?

Once again in her life..Kikyou felt useless and helpless to save the ones she cared for.

Kikyou was exhausting herself trying to stabilize him with the help of Kochō and Asuka..but it was a losing battle and she knew it. His healing abilities were not at the level that could aid his recovery--but even so..she tried. Desperately. From trying to reattach the amputated body parts, to spells to help heal..herbs she had on hand..Everything.

The damage, however, was too severe..And she had arrived far too late. Perhaps..if she had arrived quicker Sesshomaru could have been saved..but she hadn't known..If only..

"Rin is safe. She is in a barrier with Jaken..and after today, will be looked after by Kaede and the villagers.", she reassured the demon. Kikyou's voice was soft and even..but for once, her expression was unguarded. Brows were furrowed and mocha browns swam with emotion whilst her hands were wet from his blood.

Kikyou had seen her share of death. She was well versed in controlling her emotions, her countenance..She knew how to be professional and composed. But for this, she saw no need. Perhaps in these moments..she would be honest..hence she left her expression bare. Anger, pain, sorrow and hurt lurked in the depths of her eyes. A glistening tear ran down her cheek..and then another.

"But if you are truly worried over her, then do not die. Only a fool would utter such a thing and then submit to death." A tiny, sad smile tugged at the corner of her lips as her heart shattered, the sense of hopelessness growing heavier with each passing second. "I never took you for a fool, Sesshomaru. Do not prove me wrong now."

There was a subtle quiver of her bottom lip as she both sensed and watched the demon slipping further and further away. Kikyou's throat tightened, making it hard to breathe as the light began to fade from those familiar eyes of his..which were now red as he had transformed back into his canine state. The eyelids of his were slowly closing.

Rin had since left the barrier and arrived for the few seconds Sesshomaru lingered before departing. Her small hands delving into his fur as she shook and called out his name.

Kikyou bowed her head slightly, fingers curled into his fur as she listened to Rin. Tears quietly ran down her cheeks for a minute..before her hands finally released the demon to embrace the young girl.

Kikyou hugged Rin close, listening to her cry for the first time since meeting her. Leaving Rin connected to the demon, Kikyou adjusted her hold and pressed a kiss to her head. Even Jaken's lament could be heard from nearby.

What a terrible..day.

And like everything good in her life..the sunlight that Sesshomaru had given..was taken away.

And it certainly felt like she had once again failed..Logically she knew better but..there was a part of her that also whispered it. In this specific moment, it was difficult not to believe it.

#||fangsofdestruction||#||ic||#[8D]#[u lucky my writing isn't the best rn--count your blessings]#[xD i still wanted to write it tho so]

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beevean · 1 year

Note

Remember episode 14 when Shinji tries to synchronize with Unit 00 and he briefly sees an image of a younger Rei with a psychotic expression?

It's canon that every Evangelion needs a human soul to be put into it in order to function.

Unit 01 has Yui's. Unit 02 has part of Asuka's mother (which is the reason why she went insane, she was missing part of her soul)

While it's never explicitly stated it is extremely probable that Unit 00 contains a part of Rei's own soul, most likely taken after her first death.

When Armisael goes into her mind Rei even wonders if she's speaking to "the me that is in the Eva"

One common theory is that, after Rei II's death alongside Unit 00's destruction both halves of Rei's soul were reunited into Rei III, which would explain why she could then fly and create an AT Field just like Kaworu, since Rei actually has Lilith's soul much like how Kaworu has Adam's.

It's actually speculated that this may be an additional reason why Rei rebelled against Gendo: Rei II was already starting to have some doubts against the man due to Shinji's influence but that half of her soul was clearly in great pain inside the Eva, leading to Unit 00 going berserk twice, so once that piece of her came back to her it probably further pushed her into resenting Gendo

Interesting! I was actually wondering who was Rei's "mother" inside Unit 00.

So the soul that powers Unit 00 is the soul of the child who was strangled to death for a petty reason? No wonder it's so unstable...

#neon genesis evangelion

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z-iridest · 9 months

Text

My Hero Academia- I am Phoenix

Chapter 14: The Sports Festival- Part Six

After the match against Todoroki and Midoriya, the arena had to be fixed before the next match, so I had gone straight to Recovery Girl's office to see my idiot of a friend. I had half a mind to kick his ass for hurting himself as much as he did. But, it got Todoroki literally fired up... He had used his left side, even if it was just for a brief moment, but Midoriya shouldn't have damaged himself that badly to get to that point. But, I stopped dead in my tracks when I heard Recovery Girl say how bad the injuries really were...

"The bones in your right arm were shattered. I'm afraid it'll never be the same as it was before." I heard my Dad gasp before Recovery Girl continued. "I need to remove the bone fragments or they'll get stuck in your joints. I'll heal you afterward." She sighed softly, looking at Dad. "You lit a fire under this child and pushed him too hard. Look at what he's done to make you proud. I don't like it one bit, you're going too hear, you hear? You and the boy."

"I raised Hinotori and she turned out all right..."

"Raising a child and mentoring a child are two different things, and quite frankly, her knowledge of her limits and careful nature was what Asuka instilled in her, not you. But, I don't doubt that she also inherited your recklessness. Your daughter did sacrifice herself to protect her friends multiple times during the USJ incident if I remember correctly. You're lucky you haven't lost her yet..."

"Hino? Shouldn't you be preparing for the next match?" Midoriya asked, diverting my attention away from the adults at the moment. I shook my head.

"They gotta fix it first. It did get blown up quite a bit." I pointed out. "But, putting that aside, I think it would be a good idea to figure out a different way of harnessing One For All. Once Recovery Girl stops healing injuries like this, I can't help."

"But, your healing tears..."

"They have a limit, Izuku. They won't be strong enough to heal broken bones until I turn 16, and if you end up with a fatal wound, they won't work if you've lost too much blood. I care about you, damn it, which is why you have to find another way. Because if this happens again, I can't do shit about it and I don't feel like losing someone else I care about." I interrupted. Midoriya looked at me, silent for a minute.

"You're not going to lose me, Hino. I promise, I'll be more careful." He told me. I wanted to believe him, I really did... But, I saw the look in his eyes. The next time we were in trouble, he was going to do this again, especially if it meant protecting everyone. Besides, Recovery Girl was right.... I was just as reckless when the situation proved dangerous to those I care about, so I couldn't really talk.

"You better, I'll kick your ass if you aren't, ya little shit." I told him, which caused a bit of a smile despite the pain he looked like he was in. That was when I noticed that my Dad and Recovery Girl had gotten dead silent, watching us. Before anyone could say anything, the door slammed open.

"MIDORIYA!" Tsu, Ochaco, Mineta and Iida were all at the door, worried as hell. Both Dad and I jumped, and I grimaced a bit when Dad coughed up blood.

"You scared the crap outta me..." He trailed off as Ochaco approached Midoriya.

"Are you okay?" She asked the same time Dad mumbled under his breath. That's when she noticed him. Oh, right, she hasn't met Dad in his normal form... I thought.

"Oh, it's nice to meet you, sir." She said, bowing a bit in greeting.

"Uh, yeah." He waved a bit, making me cover my face with my hand. Seriously, Dad?

"He's in no state for visitors." Recovery Girl told them.

"Hey, you guys... Shouldn't you be watching the matches?" Izuku asked.

"The stage was far too damaged, they're taking a quick break to repair it now." Iida was the one who answered while I looked at him. Didn't we just have this conversation?

"That match was the scariest thing I've ever seen in my life, Midoriya. What pro's gonna want a sidekick that hurts himself?" Mineta asked, shaking as he pointed at Midoriya until Tsu smacked him with her tongue again. Good thing she did it before I could...

"Now you're just rubbing salt in his wounds, probably not a good time." She told him.

"Seriously, learn to keep your mouth shut, Mineta." I added on.

"Hey! I'm just speaking the truth!" Mineta snapped.

"You're much too noisy! I know you're worried, but I got to focus on surgery now." Recovery Girl started shooting them out, but her words only make them panic more.

"SURGERY?!" They all cried. I shoved them out.

"Come on, idiots, he'll be fine." I pushed them out of the room with Recovery Girl helping me shoo them out. I looked at her as she looked at me. "Anything I can do to help?"

"I'd like to say yes, but you need to focus on the next match. Go and get ready, dear and I'll handle things here." Recovery Girl told me. I nodded and left for the waiting room, even though I wanted to talk to Dad and my friend more. I sighed softly. Mom would be scolding both Midoriya and Dad right along with Recovery Girl if she were here. Maybe she'd even have some pointers for him... I took out my phone, looking at the last picture of my Mom that I had on my phone. It was a picture of her and I smiling with ice cream cones in our hands and laughing.

"I wish you were here, Mom." I didn't know why I had been thinking about her so much lately, but I missed her...

The next few rounds flew by for everyone. I used my wings to take Shiozaki out of bounds before she knew what was happening, and with Tokoyami using Dark Shadow to do the same thing to Mina, his match ended in about the same amount of time that mine did. "Whoa, he won that battle super fast!" Mineta commented.

"Tokoyami's Dark Shadow is so amazing, ribbit." She noticed Ochaco looking downcast. I knew she was worried about Midoriya, she had been since Recovery Girl had told her and the others that she needed to do surgery.

"She said she had to perform surgery." She replied.

"Recovery Girl's the best, you've got nothing to worry about." Mineta tried to reassure her. Least he wasn't being a perv at the moment...

"He's right." Tsu reaffirmed. She gave a small smile at them.

"Sure." We continued watching the matches, though I worried about Midoriya. After a bit, I went to go find my friend and my Dad. That was when I heard the conversation between the two.

"Hey, All Might... You remember when you told me you came to UA in the first place? To find a worth successor to inherit One For All."

"Yeah?" I hid behind the wall they were walking toward.

"I put everything I had into the sports festival. But, still... There were other competitors, including Hino, who fought for the victory harder than I did. So.. Maybe..."

"You're thinking if it might be better for someone else to be my successor, yes?" He asked. I blinked in shock. No matter who Dad had originally intended to inherit One For All, I couldn't have imagined anyone else but Midoriya being Dad's successor! Much as I had thought about it in the past, I knew my body would have probably fallen apart years ago if I had inherited One For All...

"Yes..." Midoriya trailed off.

"You're not wrong... This place is full of incredible potential heroes. One For All is a crystallization of power. It bolsters Quirks. For example, if Young Todoroki were to inherit it, the strength added to his own quirk would probably make him an unbeatable superhero."

"Then-"

"But, you know, I was Quirkless too as a kid." Well, that was news to me. Dad was Quirkless when he was younger? I mean, I probably should have expected that considering he had said he got his Quirk from the user before him, but...

"Quirkless? Seriously?" Midoriya sounded just as surprised.

"Back then, it wasn't as rare of a thing, but it was still out of the ordinary. Even though I didn't have a power of my own, I had someone who believed in my potential. My master gave me One For All and raised me to become a hero."

"You never told me that!" Midoriya exclaimed. Bro, he didn't even tell me!

"It's not my fault you never asked, which is honestly surprising."

"I just can't believe the number one hero was Quirkless."

"It's true. When we first met, I saw a little of the old me in you. But, kid, you've gone beyond my expectations time and time again. One day, you're gonna do incredible things with One For All. That's something I truly believe." He told him. I smiled a bit.

"While I agree with you, Dad, that doesn't mean he should mess up his entire body like he did in the match against Todoroki." I showed myself.

"Hino, how long have you been listening?!" Izuku asked.

"Long enough, and you two shouldn't talk about One For All in the open like this. There's too many spots for people to eavesdrop and listen in." I pointed out.

"You worry too much, Hino." Dad told me.

"I worry just enough, thank you, especially when you two have the same mindset." Dad chuckled a bit at that. "Dad, it's not funny!"

"You know, I've been thinking about your Mom lately, and that's exactly what I imagined her saying if she were here." Dad told me. I blinked a bit, falling silent. He'd been thinking about her lately too? "Now, the Sports Festival isn't over yet. Get out there, both of you don't want to miss the end." Dad ushered us along. I saw Iida as we passed, and went over to him.

"Hey, everything okay?" I asked.

"Oh, Yagi. I was just trying to call my brother, and... Well..."

"Still no answer?" I questioned, already knowing the answer. He nodded. "Patrols do take a while, he'll call back once he's done." I smiled a bit, trying to give my friend hope. He looked uncertain, and I remembered the feeling of dread that had washed over me as a 6 year old kid that day. It was all over Iida's face... When I returned to the stands with Iida, we watched as Kirishima and Bakugo fought against each other. I looked at the board as Iida talked to Midoriya. My next match was against Todoroki... I had watched the match Midoriya had against him. He would probably stick to just using his ice powers, since he still looked conflicted with the end of that match. Whatever he had left to do to sort it out, it wasn't something he could do here or now... It would be an endurance match as to who would outlast the other, Todoroki with frostbite or me with burns? I could use the torches around the stadium until that fire ran out, but how long could I go? We would find out sooner or later...

Present Mic's yell of excitement brought me out of my thoughts. "BAKUGO IS COUNTERING AGAIN! BUT WHAT'S THIS?! IT SEEMS TO BE WORKING THIS TIME!"

"Kirishima's at his limit now." I observed.

"You've been straining to keep your body rock hard this whole fight, right? But, that means, you're overusing your Quirk. And sooner or later, you'll fall apart." Bakugo began a barrage of attacks, explosion after explosion while Kirishima struggled to keep his body solid. After a few minutes of explosions, Kirishima toppled to the ground and collapsed, exhausted.

"WITH THAT VICIOUS CARPET BOMBING, BAKUGO ADVANCES TO THE THIRD ROUND! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, OUR FINAL FOUR!" Present Mic announced. I took a deep breath.

"Wish me luck, guys." I told them before leaving the boys' sides. I waited in the entrance to the arena as Present Mic announced the match.

"THE FIRST MATCH OF THE SEMI FINALS! BOTH COME FROM HERO FAMILIES, MAKING THIS A BATTLE OF THE ELITES! FROM THE HERO COURSE, OUR GIRL ON FIRE, HINOTORI YAGI! VERSUS... HER COOL CLASSMATE, SHOTO TODOROKI!" I'm not able to negate his attacks like Izuku did, but I don't have to. I'll melt the ice as many times as I have to to get in close. As much as I want him to go all out, it took a while for him to even do it against Mid. I can win this no matter what! I thought as I tied my jacket around my waist again. I got into a ready stance, staring down my opponent as he got into a ready stance as well. "START!" Just as Present Mic called for the beginning of the match, Todoroki used his ice powers. I ran forward, holding out my hand and willing the fire from the torches to come to me, just like I did in the fire zone back at the USJ.

"THAT WON'T WORK ON ME AND YOU KNOW IT!" I shouted as I jumped into the air, giving a yell as I landed, adding my own flames to the mix and creating a firewall that melted the ice as I flew toward him, using my wings for speed. The look on his face was priceless as he sent a blast of ice toward me and I used a huge blast of flames to cut through it. "SHOW ME WHAT YOU'VE GOT!" I exclaimed before I got close enough to where he couldn't use his ice the way he wanted to. We fought with our fists, and every time he tried to use his ice to freeze me, I used my flames to counter. We were slowly making our way to the boundary line behind him. I used kicks of flames from my feet to break his stance and eventually got to a point where I could throw him. But, once I did, he used his ice to surf around the ring and back toward me. I flew toward him, charging him. We were opposites with our powers when he was using his ice. But, I started seeing the frost, started seeing his movements slow down. "What's the matter?! Too tired?!" I was being cocky and I knew it. Just as the words left my mouth, he caught one of my fists, ice beginning to cover my entire body. Before I could even react, I was frozen in place. Goddamn it, I hate karma...

"Good thing you forgot I can do precision moves too. I've only been showing off ranged attacks today." Todoroki sounded almost relieved. I struggled for a minute before hanging my head to focus, closing my eyes.

"Hinotori, be honest. Can you move at all?" Midnight asked me. I grit my teeth, concentrating my body heat and bringing the fire from the last two pillars toward me.

"HELL YEAH!" I let out a loud yell as my eyes snapped open before letting out a huge blast of fire from my body, melting the ice wall around me completely. "Thanks for the cool down, Todoroki, it was getting a little too hot!" I charged toward Todoroki again, using punches and kicks to melt the ice heading my way. I was down to my own flames, which meant I had limited time before my body started burning to ashes from overuse. I punched him as hard as I could in his jaw. He stumbled back, using his ice behind him to steady himself as I charged for him again. That was when his left side ignited. I smirked. As soon as he blasted flames at me, I flipped over his head, twisting in the air as I absorbed his flames. I saw his eyes widen, realizing what I was about to do. "PHOENIX HEATBLAST!" I shouted as I blasted as hard as I could, shattering the ice wall in front of him and creating an explosion that sent Todoroki flying through the air. Todoroki barely managed to catch himself on his ice, but there was no more frost on him. "About time you got more serious! LET'S GO!" I shot forward again as Todoroki did the same, using his ice on his feet and his flames to propel himself. When we collided, it caused an explosion, smoke filling the ring. I panted, my arms red and burning, half hoping that the fight would be over now.

"I don't get either of you!" I heard Todoroki's voice before I saw him. He was panting, just as tired by the looks of things. "Both of you are trying to get me to use my flames! Why are you fighting so hard?! If my father..."

"YOUR OLD MAN DOESN'T HAVE A DAMN THING TO DO WITH THIS! IF YOU WANNA BE A HERO, BE THE HERO YOU WANT TO BE! FIGHT ME AND PROVE THAT THE HERO YOU ARE CAN BEAT ME AT FULL STRENGTH!" I wasn't stupid. I saw the apologetic look in his eyes as I charged him for the third time. He was still conflicted, proven by the way he let his fire go out at the last second. I couldn't get through to him, and Midoriya's words had made him conflicted. I hated accepting a victory like this, but I wasn't going to lose to him half assing everything. With a final blow, smoke was kicked up once again.

"WHOA, WHAT JUST HAPPENED?! SMOKE'S FILLED THE WHOLE STADIUM FOR A THIRD TIME!" Present Mic exclaimed. My eyes looked for Todoroki, and when I found him through the smoke, he'd been knocked out of bounds by the blast.

"Todoroki is out of bounds! Yagi wins!" Midnight announced. I collapsed to my knees from exhaustion. I was half surprised I hadn't heard Endeavor's old, stupid ass yelling the entire fight, but then again, I hadn't even been focusing on anything outside of our fight. I didn't listen to anything else Present Mic or Midnight had to say, I just healed Todoroki's injuries and left the arena so Recovery Girl wouldn't have much to do but wait for Todoroki to wake up and heal any injuries I might have missed. I happened to look up at the stands as I left the arena, spotting Endeavor. He looked absolutely pissed and he was glaring right at me. I glared right back as I entered the hall. I wasn't about to let him intimidate me...

"You won... Whoa, hey, what's wrong?" I looked at my Dad.

"It doesn't feel like a victory, Dad. He didn't go all out" I sighed. "Which, I honestly shouldn't have expected him to considering he looked conflicted about using his flames the entire fight, but still..."

"It would have been more fulfilling to you if he did go all out." He finished. I nodded. "I know." He pulled me into a hug. "But, I think both you and Young Midoriya both hammered the point home and given him a lot to think about. It may take some time for him to show it, but I think you and Young Midoriya have sparked a changed in him, whether or not he knows it right now." I hugged back. It wasn't just Todoroki holding back that bothered me, though I didn't say that to my Dad. I couldn't really do much to help him, and I knew Mom would try to show him that his flames were his own, that he could be a strong hero with both sides of his Quirk and not let his Dad define him. After a while, he let go. "I should let you get ready for the finals. I'll see you afterwards." I nodded and let go of my Dad, giving him a small thank you. I couldn't act like I knew what Todoroki had gone through, and it wasn't like he'd talk to me about it as if we were old friends...

"Meddling where you don't technically have to is part of being a hero. Remember that, my little bird." I remembered when my Mom told me about being a hero.

"What does that mean, Mama?" I'd asked. She'd had me on her lap.

"It means that part of a hero isn't just saving their bodies, it's saving their hearts too. True heroes save people in every way, but words don't always work. You have to let your actions do the talking."

"Like fulfilling a promise you make?" I had asked. She'd smiled, gently tapping my nose as I giggled.

"Exactly." I clenched my fists, determined to follow my Mom's example for what hero I wanted to be. I just hoped everyone would be okay... Above me, I could hear Present Mic commenting on Bakugo's fight against Tokoyami, a match that went pretty damn quick in my opinion. The match up couldn't have been any worse for Tokoyami, which means that the final match... Was me against Bakugo... I would only have a few minutes to prepare in the waiting room, so good thing I was already headed over there... That was when I saw Iida on the phone.

"Hello, Mom? I hate to tell you this, but I lost." As I walked closer, I watched as Iida's face went from normal to completely pale. All alarms went off in my head as I hurried over to him as his arm went limp at his side.

"Iida, what's wrong?" I asked worriedly. He leaned against the wall behind him, looking at me.

"Tensei... My brother... He was attacked by a villain..." My blood ran cold with his answer.

"Go tell Mr. Aizawa and get your ass on the next train there."

"But, Yagi-"

"But nothing, your family needs you right now, Iida. Yayorozu and I can take care of our classmates, just go." I interrupted him.

"I'll call you once I figure out what's going on."

"Iida, go." I shooed him, but my heart was pounding against my chest as he used his Quirk to speed to Mr Aizawa. It almost felt like my Mom's death all over again, but this time, I wasn't the one directly impacted. I texted Midoriya what was happening before heading to the waiting room. Before I could have time to keep it from entering my mind, the memory of my Mom's death, of that day, came back to me.

It was raining that day, almost as if foreshadowing the sadness of the situation. I had been in my classroom, playing with Tsukihara at the time with the news on in the background when my teacher had called out to me. I still remembered the look on her face as I hurried over, beaming up at her before noticing she looked upset. "Miss Matsuko?" I questioned before I noticed the pro hero next to her. My mom's sidekick, Ember, was standing by her. At the time, she'd been barely 18, with vibrant red hair with an orange streak on the right side, dressed in an ensemble of red, orange and yellow for her hero costume. I'd waved at her. "Hello, Miss Ember." I saw the look of sadness on her face crack for a brief moment as a smile replaced the frown for a brief moment.

"Hi, little Spark." She greeted.

"Where's Mama?" I asked, which made the smile drop from her face.

"I'm afraid that's why I'm here, kiddo. Your Mom went up against a really tough villain and she..." Ember's golden eyes had filled with tears and I remembered my teacher placing a gentle hand on my back. The news filled in the rest of the blanks, saying that against a fight against a villain, Ace had been severely injured, and the news reported that she had passed away just minutes prior to them coming. I had started crying in the hallway and Ember had picked me up. I remembered clinging to her, not able to make out what the adults were saying before Ember carried me out of the school. Once we got to the hospital, he had met up with All Might, and he looked like he'd been crying too. The minute I saw him, I'd reached for him, crying into him as he held me close, trying to comfort me... Months later, the adoption for him becoming my Dad officially was finalized, but I had already started training by that point...

I wiped my eyes at the memory. I'd been only six years old, and as stupid as I felt for remembering that moment right before the Sports Festival finals, I could only hope that Iida's brother wouldn't be a similar case... The door blasting open startled me out of my thoughts, and when I looked, Bakugo's dumbass had kicked the door open. "Hey, what the hell are you doing in here? This is my place to- Crap! This is waiting room number 2?!" I stared at him for a minute before rolling my eyes at his stupidity and ignoring him. That only seemed to piss him off since I could practically feel the irritation radiating off him in waves. "All right, fine, so I may have walked into the wrong room. But don't think that means I'm not gonna be on top a my game, ya got that?!" He raised his hand before slamming it onto the table. "You better bring all ya got to this, Flame Hair!" He exploded the spot his hand was on.

"The victory I got from Todoroki was half assed. He didn't bring his best against me, so I'm going to make this shit clear." My voice was cold as I stood up, looking at him. "If you hold back against me once, I'm going to burn your ass." I glared. He grinned as if spurred on by the threat of what would happen if he held back.

"Yeah, I got it, just like I'll explode your ass if you so much as think about half assing it against me." Bakugo replied before I left the room for the entrance to the arena. God, that boy...

"WELCOME TO THE FINAL BATTLE OF THE UA HIGH SCHOOL SPORTS FESTIVAL! IN JUST A MOMENT HERE, WE'LL SEE WHICH FIRST YEARS COME OUT ON TOP!" I could practically hear Present Mic spinning in his chair. "YES, IT ALL COMES DOWN TO THIS FOLKS! SHE'S BEEN THE LEADER THIS ENTIRE TIME AND IS STILL GOING STRONG, IT'S OUR GIRL ON FIRE, HINOTORI YAGI OF CLASS 1-A! VERSUS HER CLASSMATE WITH THE MOST BANG! IT'S THE EXPLOSION BOY, KATSUKI BAKUGO! NOW, BEGIN!" We charged at the same time as soon as Present Mic called it.

"LET'S GO!" I shouted before we collided, using our Quirks as we fought. As he used his explosions on me, I manipulated one of them to hit him square in the face. He stumbled back, looking confused as hell. I was half tempted to laugh in his face. "What's the matter? Can't take it as well as you dish it?!" He charged me, but threw a right hook instead of trying to use an explosion on me. I sidestepped it, grabbing his arm and doing the same shoulder throw on him that Midoriya did. "You're getting predictable!" I shouted as I threw him to the ground.

"OOH, AND AFTER EXCHANGING A FEW BLOWS, HINOTORI THROWS BAKUGO OVER HER SHOULDER!" Present Mic's commentary was getting annoying.

"What was that about not holding back against me?! What? You think I can't take it?!" I was taunting Bakugo as he caught his breath. He got up after a second, glaring at me, but grinning like a Cheshire.

"Oh, it's on, Flame Hair!" He shouted, using his explosions to blast forward before we went all out trading blows. I was careful to not manipulate the explosions as much so it hit hard and out of nowhere. It only served to piss him off even more, and it was honestly hilarious. The more we moved the bigger the explosions got, just like Midoriya had explained to me. After a minute, he launched himself in the air, his body twisting and turning. I smirked.

"Hell yeah, now you're getting fired up!" I ignited the arm facing him, ready for whatever he had to throw at me. Smoke kicked up as a cyclone of wind made itself visible to the naked eye. I saw Midoriya shoot to his feet out of the corner of my eye, but I was focused on my opponent.

"HOWIZTER..."

"BRING IT ON!" I shouted as I blasted myself into the air with my wings, able to feel my hair coming lose out of its braid with the force of the jump and as I did the same thing, creating a tornado of my own.

"IMPACT!" A huge explosion came my way, and I absorbed it. The look on his face when he realized what I was about to do... I winked at him before the impact hit and we both got knocked backwards from the force of the blast. I used my wings to stay within range of the arena as I landed on the stage again. I cleared the smoke, only to see that Bakugo had been knocked the hell out and out of bounds.

"BAKUGO IS OUT OF BOUNDS! YAGI IS THE WINNER!" Midnight held her hand up, announcing the end of the final match. I'd won...

"AND WITH THAT, THE FINAL MATCH IS OFFICIALLY OVER! THE FIRST YEAR CHAMPION OF THE UA SPORTS FESTIVAL IS OUR GIRL ON FIRE.... HINOTORI YAGI FROM CLASS 1-A!" Present Mic announced. I looked up toward the stands, seeing Dad grinning proudly. I smiled back at my Dad, raising my left hand just like Dad had against the slime monster. The crowd cheered louder. I was tired, but I'd done what I said I would do...

"The first year students have completed all of the events for the UA Sports Festival. Now, it's time to relax and enjoy the awards ceremony!" A little while later, I heard Midnight announce the beginning of the awards ceremony. The platform I was standing on began to rise, putting the top three in the center of it all, with me being on the highest part since I was in first place. In second, looking pissed off that he lost to me, was Bakugo and third was Todoroki and Tokoyami. Fireworks ignited the sky above us, cameras flashed as they took pictures of the three of us, but all I could think about was Iida. Was his brother doing okay? Would Iida be okay? I had no idea. I had told Midoriya and Uraraka the news, and they were just as worried as I was..."Now, let's break out the hardware! Of course, there's only one person worth of distributing the awards." Dad's boisterous laughter from in his muscle form came from above us before he landed in front of the stage.

"CITIZENS! I AM HERE WITH THE MEDALS!" Dad grinned.

"Oh, for the love God, Dad..." I mumbled under my breath. Did he have to use his catchphrase for everything?!

"All Might, the number one hero!" Midnight announced at the same time. She sweat dropped. "Ruined that, didn't I? So, now that you're here, All Might, why don't you start the presentation?"

"Young Tokoyami and Todoroki, congratulations to you both." My Dad placed the bronze medals around their necks. "You both showed amazing strength out there."

"Your words humble me, sir." Tokoyami replied before Dad hugged him and I couldn't hear what else he said. He then turned to Todoroki.

"I'm assuming there's a reason you didn't use your left side that much, all though it cost you the semi final battle."

"Midoriya opened my eyes during our match, but then I started to doubt myself. I think I now understand a little about why you're so interested in him. I want to be the kind of hero you are, but my path isn't as clear as I thought it was. I have a lot to think about, and I still need to settle some things with someone. Very soon."

"I've never seen this sort of look on your face before..." Dad then embraced Todoroki, and I couldn't hear the rest of his wisdom. "Young Bakugo, congratulations." He placed the silver medal around Bakugo's neck. "You fought well, but the final match was lost to you."

"I didn't account for her being able to manipulate my explosions. I won't make the same mistake." He grumbled. Dad embraced him, imparting some words of wisdom to him that I couldn't hear before he turned to me.

"And finally, Young Yagi, congratulations. You did what you said you'd do in the pledge. You're true to your word." I bowed my head as my Dad placed the gold medal around my neck.

"I have a lot more to learn, but my aim is to be the best hero I can be. The road's just beginning." I looked up at him. He smiled, and I swear, I could see a glint of pride in his eyes before he embraced me the way he did with the boys.

"I can't help but feel extremely proud of you, my Hino. Keep training and never forget the hero you want to be." He told me before letting go and stepping back. "HERE THEY ARE, THE WINNERS OF THIS YEAR'S SPORTS FESTIVAL! BUT LISTEN CLOSELY! ANY OF YOU FIRST YEARS COULD HAVE ENDED UP STANDING ON THESE PODIUMS! THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE DONE TODAY! YOU'VE CHALLENGED EACH OTHER, LEARNED, AND CLIMBED EVEN CLOSER TOWARD YOUR GOALS OF BEING PROS! I THINK THE NEXT GENERATION OF HEROES IS PROVING TO BE OUR MOST PROMISING YET! SO, I HAVE ONE MORE THING TO SAY! I WANT TO HEAR EVERYONE YELL IT WITH ME! YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS!"

"PLUS ULTRA!"

"THANKS EVERYONE FOR YOUR HARD WORK!" Dad shouted the same time the crowd said the school motto. It went dead silent before the crowd booed.

"WHAT?! THAT WAS THE PERFECT TIME TO SAY PLUS ULTRA, ALL MIGHT!" All of us students shouted.

"Well... Yeah, I guess, but everyone did such a good job!" I swear to God, Dad.... But anyways, the Sports Festival showed that our friends could also be a worth opponent. We learned a lot about each other and ourselves...

"Nice work. You have the next two days off of school to recuperate. I'm sure pros who watched the festival will wanna recruit some of you. We'll look over the draft forms and update you when you return. Get some rest, you still have a lot of training." Aizawa told the class. I glanced at Iida's seat as the class acknowledged his words, still worried about our Class Rep. After that, the atmosphere around school started to change, though it was gradual at first...

Later that night, I got a call from Iida, and he was really upset. He'd made it safely to Hosu City, his brother having just gotten out of surgery when he'd arrived, in stable condition, but in and out of consciousness. There was no word on if he'd be able to return to hero work or not, at least not yet...

(Tag list: @euphorical-angel @qweenexplosionmurder13 )

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#cannon x oc #mha #hinotori yagi #dadmight #i am phoenix

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