#which throws a wrench into people’s opinions of s

[padfootastic]

hiii i had a question - how do you think other people saw sirius? like at his time at hogwarts, what was his reputation like? what impression did he give off? and also i feel like there are a lot of parallels between bella and sirius, and so what do you think their similarities and differences are? anyway sorry for the word vomit and the wildly contrasting questions

hello <3 do not worry, friend, here at padfootastic’s blog we specialise in word vomit. ur amongst ur own here ;)

for the first part, i swear my opinion on this has changed so much recently since i started leaning into the cold, arrogant Black heir type characterisation for sirius as well as looking at the black family as a bit more like,,,royalty among the WW type thing ykno?

so i think that all wizard raised kids have at least heard about the black family, mostly as a cautionary tale, almost always in tones of reverent fear/awe, and sometimes incredulously—sirius black, therefore, would’ve come into hogwarts with a lot of expectations/eyes on him. he almost immediately bucks all of it with his gryffindor sorting but people are still wary (bc the WW is so essentialist) so i think that like—lingering hesitance would’ve followed him throughout the 7 years, something sirius would be very conscious of too.

i’m also of the opinion that the black kids all received like,,,etiquette training and pureblood lessons etc etc so they all have a poker face/mask that they use in public as well as being learnt how to control their emotions (think fanon legilimency) and sirius tended to default to that, which ended up making people nervous.

so, basically, he gave off the impression that he was better than everyone else (he was); thought himself superior (lowkey yes but he was working on unlearning that, promise); didn’t care for the general public (absolutely true); and was a bit of a terrifying bastard who never got close enough to most people to dispel rumours/legends ykno?

(and ik i keep banging on this like a dead horse, but i think that most people, including those who knew him, were also a bit wary of his ~dark side bc of his upbringing and family’s actions wrt voldy. like, even remus and peter, on some level had that in the back of their mind. it was only james who never ever held it against him or treated it like an innate part of him/a flaw)

re bella & sirius, whooooo. i’m rly not a bella expert (that’s @narcissa-black-supermacy and i would love to hear ur thoughts on this, dani) but let’s see:

- both of them r very intense, very passionate people. translates into extreme, almost unhealthy loyalty for the people they choose as their own. also makes them very entrenched in & involved with whatever they choose to do- like bella being a death eater, and sirius being a part of the order/harry’s godfather etc etc.

- i think both of them were great at magic, on an intuitive level. like, it’s one thing to work hard at it, but for these, magic was like an extension of their hand, not a tool. this made them terrifying in battles and displays of power bc they just had. so much potential. (duels b/w bella & sirius were also some of the most explosive & entertaining)

- very arrogant, very ‘most people r sheep, and we’re better than them’ (which is almost a Black prerequisite, ik ik) and i can totally see them hanging out just to sneer at people lol

- also this is v random but both bella and sirius lowkey give me aromantic vibes? like, they don’t much care for romance or relationships as much as they do about a cause/person/dynamic, yeah?

for their differences, hm. i actually think those two were much more similar than not (being firstborn heirs) but i really think bella’s morality was way more skewed than sirius’, for one. also think she defaults to magic/violence/physical fights in disagreements whereas sirius prefers using his words. i don’t think i can ever see bellatrix like, slumming it, ykno? she grew up with the finest and she’s very happy to continue using it. sirius, on the other hand, takes it almost as a way to be rebellious and doesn’t mind living minimal & using whatever.

[mellowwillowy]

Yan! Mafia Ringleader x GN Reader

What? I'm sick of these classic Mafia husbands trope yet we all know damn well that part of us is digging real deep into it. So allow me to hand you one of my Mafia OCs.

One of the nation's biggest threats has yet to be your lover, wagging his imaginary tail as he rested his face on your lap. We are so desensitized to how immoral a mafia is due to the romanticization of it to the point you just straight up ignore all his crimes!

Because of his work, the two of you can't really have a private date somewhere out there. Sure the bodyguards are not in sight but you know better than to think that they are not lurking around to keep you both safe from his rivals.

"Won't you gimme a smooch'aroo?" "... In front of your men?" "*Pouts* Pretty please?"

You love it when he throws all cold facades away and shifts himself into a touch-starved puppy! Who would have known this guy just sent one of his enemies their men's heads as a lingering threat to not exert themselves~

While your lover is not involved in the human trafficking side, it doesn't justify his actions for being the largest drug dealer in this nation. Whatever type you are looking for, junkies, he has it all stored for you, with a price of course.

But if you are a junkie reader then he'd be quite worried. You see, he may be dealing drugs but that doesn't mean he's doing drugs. He likes nicotine but would rather not indulge himself in yet another addiction okay? And that goes the same way to you! Please stop it.

And may I tell you that Kaspar enjoys ranting to you about how his day(s) has been, how he wants you to comfort him as you praise him for surviving yet another day? Empty plates are not filled with him just sitting around and he has to fight every day to not remind himself of the old days?

"Oh yes, have my beloved eaten? You are not going through another silly diet, right? Trust me, food is meant to be enjoyed and not over-calculated!"

There are also times he'd rant non-stop about this certain lawyer that he's working with. Of how one of the nation's biggest threats, has been reduced into an errand boy for his spouse! Can you believe that, babe?

Overall Rating? 9/10. Where did the 1 one go to? Your dead friend that insulted you and his punishments. Ehe.

Look, he has a problem with people who dare to look down on him and you, he has grown up in a rather unfortunate background in which he fights teeth and nails to break free so how DARE someone patronize him or you?

Yeah, it sounds romantic but not so cute when it's your literal bestie. He spares no mercy in how he deals with them too, the only mercy he's offering is one chance and nothing more.

Another dark side of him would be his... punishment. Ehe. Due to his upbringing as a ringleader, he is used to disciplining his men, rough. Sure he doesn't give you the same punishment as he does to his men but that doesn't mean it saves you from how unpleasant it is.

The worst punishment that wrenches his heart would be making you skip breakfast, lunch, and dinner! He doesn't have the heart to but he has to! (Honestly, in your opinion, there is literally worse punishment than this, not gonna name it.)

Yeah he is a Beelzebub at heart (Gluttony)

[two-dolla-bills]

Top 10 mechanisms songs that you can get away with playing at a retailers without too many side eyes

I got a job in retail and I felt inspired lol

Disclaimer: this is not a list of the best mechanisms songs/the ones I think deserve to go "mainstream", they're just the ones that would blend in the best

1. Sirens

This song is probably the mechanisms' least "centered" song. It doesn't mention any characters, it has no narration, and out of context it just sounds like A Song that you might hear on the radio. Sirens is to the mechanisms as you're the one that I want is to grease, you know?

2. Trial by song

THIS one. It's in the same category to me as Sirens; you can listen to it by itself and not suspect much. Unlike Sirens which can be completely separated and still make sense, this one is more like a whole new world from Aladdin. There are parts that make it obvious that it's from a larger whole, but if you just so happen to catch the "safe" parts you won't suspect much.

Points were deducted due to Mr. Soldier's unique vocals. (Unique as in not very common in mainstream music)

3. Empty trail

This is no offense to Dr. La Cognizzi, but sometimes when she sings it's hard to make out what she's saying, which works in her favor in these circumstances. It sounds country/rock, which help it blend in with some dad rock songs. If I remember correctly, the melody was actually taken from a Led Zeppelin song, so if you aren't paying attention to what's ACTUALLY being said you can get away with claiming it's a cover.

4. Ties that bind

Although this one does mention many plot points, many fans have stated that they had no idea what the fuck was being said until the have looked for the lyrics (myself included) this, combined with it's jazzy rythm, make it able to blend in with other songs, similarly to empty trail

5. Odin

The most "normal" song out of the entirety of The Bifrost Incident. This song made it to the top five because it has similarities with Roam by the B-52's, but had points deducted due to it clearly being about an awesome space train

6. Lost in the cosmos

This might just be personal opinion, but it sounds like a church song. You can pull off the effect of it being about earth Jesus and not space robot Jesus if you have particularly bad quality speakers and a busy store w/lots of noise. Again, the lyrics kinda give it away as to not being entirely main stream

7. Stranger

Look it's a banger, ok? Many of the lyrics could be taken as just being metaphors, but I feel like you have to squint to "see" it. Pay too much attention and shit gets a little weird. Also, points deducted because it's two men singing together and not a man and a woman, which throws a wrench into the works. At kohl's it might raise some eyebrows but in like hot topic it'll blend in a little better

8. Redeath

You would think a song about a sphoenix (space phoenix) would be lower on the list but you'd be wrong. It's a really pretty song with a good original melody, and it's something that can be drowned out by a particularly rowdy crowd. Like Stranger, it would blend in better at a hot topic than at kohl's, but only slightly.

9. Elysian Fields

The melody in Elysian Fields is taken directly from the song wayfaring stranger, which has been coverd by Jonny Cash, Ed Sheeran, Poor Man's Poison, and The Longest Johns, AS WELL HAS having been featured in the movie 1917 and in the video game The Last of Us II, which make it very recognizable. Because of this recognizability, people who know the original song may be caught off guard by hearing it in a Walmart with completely different lyrics. It was originally in 7th place, but the popularity of the original takes off many points

10. Once and future king

It's a banger, don't get me wrong, but it also very heavily and clearly mentions plot points from the album, which itself is heavily base on Aurtharian mythology; something very well known in the western world (also the names are not common at all and most haven't been in fashion in centuries). In a crowded, busy space with not very good quality speakers it could potentially blend in, but one or two names might sneak out. The only reason it's on the list is because of the instrumental outro, which sounds normal enough

[tavina-writes]

What are some good xianxia dramas?

okay, I feel like this is an extensively fraught question depending on what you define as "good."

The show that got me into xianxia dramas as a whole is Ten Miles of Peach Blossoms (though I'm primarily here for Dong Hua/Bai Fengjiu instead of the main couple). In this group we also can never miss mentioning Heavenly Sweetness, Ash Like Frost/Ashes of Love as also being incredibly important to the early xianxia drama boom.

The classical xianxia that I consider the most well done is actually 2019's Love and Destiny which is produced by the same team as the one who did TMOPB. 2020's Eternal Love Like Dream/The Pillow Book also merits a mention on this list for being the sequel to TMOPB and featuring Dong Hua/Bai Fengjiu as the main leads, though I liked their storyline here less than in TMOPB?

And then I kind of took a xianxia drama break so I can't really comment on anything else that came out in 2020/2021, so things like Immortal Samsara, Love and Redemption, etc etc I didn't watch. I also didn't watch this year's The Longest Promise, Divine Destiny, Journey of Chongzi, or tbh a lot of this year's xianxia dramas so I can't judge them either!

I did really enjoy Love Between Fairy and Devil which came out last year, and The Starry Love/Love When The Stars Fall which came out earlier this year. I have my beefs with Till The End of the Moon which is also, I think, the widely watched big tentpole xianxia of this year, but I'll save my comments on that for a completely different post.

If this feels like word salad "throw names of dramas at nonny" I'm sorry! I think the thing about xianxia though is that like, it's big and dramatic and it makes the metaphorical literal and examines who we are as people and self actualization and the meaning of true love, which are pretty highly individualistic. Xianxia, at its core, is iddy! So what works for me might not work for you, and sometimes you find the most devastating gut-wrenching concept about love and identity in like, a show that is objectively not very good? This is also why I feel like opinions about xianxia dramas are so polarizing and decisive, what hits me bang in the id might not hit you the same way, etc etc

So tbh I'm not sure what we'd quantify as like a "good" xianxia drama. I think it's much better to try some out and ask yourself like "hey do I like this?" and if not, drop it! rather than like, persisting just bc someone else said it was good or passing up a drama just bc someone else said it was bad. (I would also apply this to all sorts of other media, but I find this especially true for things that are designed to be iddy, which xianxia very much is.)

[laufire]

(CW for mentions of csa)

A lot of Commonly Accepted (Often Through Uncritical Repetition) Wisdom in fandom leaves me baffled, when not straight up ticked off, but one that's been on my mind lately, that never fails to bring a scrunched up expression to my face, is the idea that Bela Talbot's backstory was some last minute add-on to her character.

You might argue that the reveal was rushed since the writers caved in and killed her off against their original plan (or at the very least, earlier than). Or that using abuse is a trite way to raise sympathy for an antagonistic character. You could even say that some of the finer details might’ve not been set in stone until they sat down to write her exist, although that one is dubious. But I’m never really going to buy that Bela’s backstory hadn’t been already planned, likely in big part.

The reason why is Season Three Episode Six, “Red Sky At Morning”, Bela’s second episode, co-written by Eric Kripke himself. As all episodes with Bela were, may I add; which means he had a hand in crafting her story from the beginning, as creator, director, and writer.

There Dean, a character that has been shown as sharp and intuitive (although his success rate ain’t that great when it comes to Bela, admittedly xD), immediately pegs her as someone with Issues TM, asking “how did she get like this”. He even taunts her by referencing her father, showing off his talent to hit where it hurts by asking if he “didn’t give her enough hugs”, ‘cause he’s classy like that. This visibly affects Bela, changing her demeanor in their conversation, from more playful to defensive. Hell, I remember during my first watch in real time this moment, especially paired with the rest of the episode, was when I first thought it was possible she came from an abusive family.

Because, c’mon. This whole episode is about parricide. The monster of the week is a ghost who haunts those that “spilled their own family’s blood”. We get two other examples: a woman whose accidental car crash killed her cousin, and two brothers who killed their father for the inheritance. Clearly, the ghost doesn’t have a narrow criteria when it comes to means or culpability -which makes sense given his particular story: he was tried for treason and his brother, the captain of the ship, issued the sentence.

And just as we find out this information... Bela sees the ghost ship that foretells her death. This, paired with the insinuations about an unsavvory past and her discomfort at the mention of her father, aren’t a wealth of information, but they start to paint a picture. We now know for a fact that Bela caused the death of at least one relative (mom and dad); that she wouldn’t have needed to do it directly (she made a crossroads deal); and that she might’ve had a sympathetic motive (her father sexually abused her and her mother turned a blind eye).

That scene offers some more tidbits of information about her past that seem too in tune with 3x15 to be coincidental, and that absolutely break my heart: Bela’s “You wouldn’t understand. No one did.“ and “I’ll just do what I’ve always done. I’ll deal with it myself”. See, I always thought Bela must’ve told people, when she was a kid. That she reached out for help not just to her mother, but to everyone around her that she thought could’ve help: teachers, maybe even law enforcement; adults that should’ve being worthy of that trust and protected her. Except no one did (and the fact that her family seemed to be not only very rich but influential paints a very bleak picture that surely contributed to her cynic view of the world). So she took matters in her own hands, and sold her soul for ten years of relative safety and freedom from her abusers.

To tie it all up, her final scene in that episode offers some more moments that again, are very in line with her backstory. We see how she treats relationships as transactionals: she pays ten grand to the Winchesters for saving her life, like she paid with her soul. Dean, again, draws attention to her likely messed up past by calling her damaged, and she replies that “takes one to know one”. Terrible childhood, ammirite. The show wasn’t been subtle here: it’s telling us Bela has a terrible past, like the Winchesters do, but of a different kind that has resulted in a different kind of person. So yeah, I think all the facts were hinted at back in 3x06.

We could go even futher back and point out 3x03, Bela’s introduction. One of the very first things she says in the show, during her first face to face with Dean (a character that just condemned his soul to Hell), is “We’re all going to Hell, Dean. Might as well enjoy the ride”. Sure, it could be an incredibly fortuitous coincidence; as a writer, I’ve had those and they’re damn great. But it seems VERY lucky, and more likely to be a case of the kind premeditated, well-placed foreshadowing that Kripke excels at.

So, okay. I’ve established why I think Bela’s backstory wasn’t a spur of the moment decision. But why is there a notable narrative in fandom that it IS?

First thing first, I want to get something out of the way: you don’t have to like it even if it was planned ahead. I understand it’s a very thorny subject, and to make matters worse, it’s inherently tied to her death. You might even be fine with the what, but not with how it was dealt with (although personally, I appreciate that neither the abuse nor her death were shown onscreen. In fact, the worse violence we see Bela on the receiving end of in her run is Dean’s threats and manhandling, which seems like a very purposeful choice ngl. Even Gordon freaking Walker was gentler lmao).

But I do disagree with some extended fandom opinions on the topic, and I guess that’s what the post is about. For one, I don’t see how the show “condemned” or morally judged Bela in this scenario. If anything, they clearly wanted to make her sympathetic, AND they showed Dean as being in the wrong by robbing him of information. Dean’s opinion on Bela couldn’t count for shit, for once, because he didn’t have the full picture; because Bela had deemed him UNWORTHY of the full picture, and thus anything he had to say on her couldn’t be taken at face value (except this is Supernatural, so I guess this was a little too much to ask of some people?). I think saying that just because Bela died and went to Hell as a consequence of her deal, IN THE SAME SEASON the same happened to our co-lead, because the writers deemed her evil and irredeemable is simplistic at best, and the audience projecting their own feelings (or being unable to see past Dean’s) onto the writing.

All that said, to go back to the initial point of all of this xD: WHY does fandom seem to insist on viewing this narrative choice as some cheap last minute addition?

There might not be one explanation that fits all, but I have a few ideas. One is that, if this wasn’t planned for and hinted at from early on, some people might feel as if this “absolves” them of their previous (and disgustingly hateful and misoginistic) reactions to Bela. Others will see this as absolving Dean, and maybe even Sam to a lesser extent, for not helping her and for being callous towards her; if her tragic backstory was this artificial, rushed choice made by Those Writers, then Dean wasn’t responsible for reprehensible attitudes towards someone who deserved his compassion (and it can’t be denied that this fandom loves absolving Dean of responsibility lmao). And a lot people are probably only repeating what they've heard from others as the accepted narrative, especially those that didn't even watch all of s3 if at all (Castiel is my fave too, but seriously, s1-3 are worth it).

It’s like they’re creating this imaginary separation between Bela pre-reveal, and Bela post-reveal, to make the situation easier to themselves. See, Bela pre-reveal was this annoying bitch who inconvenienced and embarrassed our leads (not to mention dared have chemistry with them), and thus deserved to be punished for it; or, if we’re going with more modern fandom sensibilities, she can be made to fit into the shallow #GirlBoss mold, with a side of “Secretly A Lesbian And Therefore Not A Romantic Threat” flavour -the current preferred method to make controversial female characters more palatable.

The reveal throws a wrench into this narrative. “Bitch who deserves her comeuppance” is a hard sell when you’re talking about a character who survived csa. And a shallow #GirlBoss reading doesn’t work if you have to acknowledge that Bela was one of, if not the most tragic characters in the entire run of Supernatural.

She spent over half her life at the mercy of her abuser(s), hurt by those who should’ve loved her and protected her most. The rest of her life was extremely lonely, with seemingly only a cat as company, and a surface-level freedom that hid under the sentence that loomed over her head. She died without a single friend, or a simple show of kindness and compassion, without anyone bothering to fight for her. And then she ended up tortured for who knows how long until she became one of her torturers.

All of that is extremely difficult to digest. And when things are hard to swallow, people do as people do, and they try to simplify them. So, sure. Bela’s reveal wasn’t ever hinted at, it���s completely removed from her character and the person we met, and is not even worth trying to fit into the narrative. Sounds easy.

[ginkgomoon]

Gavin’s Chapter 26 Parallels- Analysis

This was in my drafts for the longest time, but now since new MLDD chapters are out (and with S2 coming), I thought I should finish this post.

I remember watching this chapter for the first time when it came out earlier this year, noticing parallels about Gavin’s time and behaviour displayed in the STF Observation Centre to other Gavin-related details.

Spoilers of Chapter 26 and future content below.

Gavin’s Encounter Summary

MC, with the help of Shaw and Litton, disguises herself as a man to enter the observation centre to find Gavin and clues about her lost Evol. 

A device for Evol suppression is placed on every test subject in the centre, and she wonders the pain Gavin must be in. 

MC, who? The name’s Mortimer Smith, ID number 134. 

MC is placed with her roommate, another Evolver who lost control of their Evol around the TV tower incident.

He tells her, “as long as you don’t cause trouble and listen to the observers, you’ll get along okay.”

She tries to squeeze out some information about Gavin from him, but learns that it’ll be difficult since they don’t use names to address the Evolvers, but instead codes. 

MC is summoned to "Evol examination" and MC has hope that she might see Gavin. 

She walks down a long corridor with other Evolvers waiting to be examined. 

She fails to notice a shadow in front and collides with a hard, sturdy chest.

Her foot slips and grabs onto the mysterious person’s arm as he holds onto her too.

She’s too embarrassed to look at his face.

She notes that the only thing in her vision was her trembling fingertips on his arms. 

But without looking, she already knows the arms she’s in. 

Emotions build up and she hears his heartbeat. 

She grips his arms tighter as she begins to speak. 

As the observers approach, Gavin finally looks up, his expression turning cold, and they are SHOOK.

He stares at MC for a long time then turns his head to walk on. 

MC lets him walk past. 

Her roommate looks at her in disbelief, surprised that she survived an encounter with “No.7" in one piece, thinking that she was “a goner for sure”. 

She asks if they’re all afraid of him, to which he replies with a nod.

He says that No.7 is more terrifying than Observers themselves, but then retracts his statement. 

Extra: So... has Gavin been having nightmares? :(

Observation Test Centre

The most obvious correlation from other chapters and mentions would be Gavin being named No.7 as his code name, as this number is always associated with him.

This analysis could just end here.

But wait- there's more.

High School

Said to be the “school tyrant” and seen as the outcast, Gavin chose to be misunderstood over conforming to rules- ones that he didn't agree with.

Gavin didn’t have friend groups like everyone else notably did (like MC and her group of friends as they walk down the hallways laughing as Gavin stares googly-eyed from a distance). He had stuck by himself and his own morals like a lone wolf (with his casual but not-so-casual buddy Minor).

MC's roommate: A lot of people that end up here all forms cliques to get along, but he’s always been a lone wolf. And he’s always dealt with anyone who crossed him. Just now you bumped right into him as if you were blind. I thought for sure you were going to get smacked...

Furthermore, Gavin was always the one to challenge authority, whether it would be school teachers or even his superiors later in life. MC stated that Gavin had once fought with a school teacher, but this was probably due to some misunderstanding or that they had existing prejudices against him. 

“No.7! Why are you still standing there!?” 

Observers continue to call out to him, but Gavin ignores them. 

Gavin doesn’t fear that people won’t understand him- he knows that people don’t and won’t, which is also a contributing factor to why he doesn't feel the need to explain himself or his actions to anyone.

But this also is why he also had a rough journey from rightfully staying true to himself. Without any real support system within and outside of school life, Gavin suffered. Luckily, there was Mr Keller who was willing to listen to him. He told Gavin, “since you can’t change what others think of you, you might as well just listen to your heart". This had a great impact on him.

Additionally, Gavin fears for an entirely different reason. In fact, Gavin understands this sort of fear more than MC realises. Gavin was even more willing to throw himself into this mission when MC was gone because he really had no choice but to continue without her by his side. In Perilous Date, MC and Gavin talk about this its the closing moments.

MC: Gavin, you could be in danger at any time... Do you think it's worth it?

Gavin: I never thought about it... What if I say it's my destiny? Would you believe me? Don't worry. I won't put myself in harm's way again. Seeing you cry is just not worth it.

MC: Aren't you scared?

Gavin: I was never scared before when it was just me. But now... I am.

(Meanwhile MC now in the chapter: *crying*)

MC had kept him moving forward- to become stronger with his goal of protecting her, influenced by his father into joining special training in CN Tilted Time R&S. His father used MC again for Gavin to undergo modification to make his Evol stronger in Chapter 15.

Here’s an extra line that caught my eye:

He stares at MC for a long time then turns his head to walk on. She lets him walk past. 

Parallels with their high school moments:

Gavin leans against a tree as he watches MC hurry down the corridor as she clutches a textbook.  -[Boundary R&S]

Special Task Force

Gavin had returned to Loveland City as Special Agent B-7 to find MC at the very beginning.

Even now stripped of his STF title as Captain, he still embodies justice. With his current knowledge of the identities of Evol criminals, he’s even able to find and make good use of them as a distraction in the Observation Centre. 

Gavin’s unapproachability and cold exterior are also highlighted.

MC's roommate: Just now you bumped right into him as if you were blind. I thought for sure you were going to get smacked...

But for MC, he learns from her how to live a more tender life [Spring Festival Date]. For her, he’d live. He’d also help her do anything just so that she wouldn’t have to shoulder anything- even the bare minimum alone. But he hadn’t reflected this upon himself to change- notably seen in Chapter 12-6.

MC: He wasn't like that before when he was with the squad?

Eli shook his head. He opened his phone and brought up a picture, handing it to me.

Eli: He was always like this before.

Gavin's face in the photo was a little immature. Wearing his military uniform, even though he was saluting, there was still an unmistakable look of proud aloofness and unruliness.

New Weapons

After leaving STF, Gavin’s newly appointed code name was NW717. He was able to gain new Evol power by undergoing remodelling experiments. Under NW orders, he snuck into the Observation Centre to find MC, believing that the Evolution Accelerator could lead to some clues.

And no matter what organisation Gavin's under, he’ll always find his way back to her.

This photograph has already turned slightly yellow and has a pretty-looking girl on it. After a while of thinking, I place the photograph next to Gavin’s pillow. Perhaps this way, he can have a good dream. -[CN NW Project R&S]

Emerging from NW, people still were terrified of Gavin, mostly because of his cold aura and powerful Evol, despite his good intentions and his attitudes towards justice. But to MC, he will always Gavin, despite seeming cold and unapproachable to others with this persona. He knows that she’s the one who knows the softer side of him, as the one who he feels is worthy of explaining himself to.

Gavin: You’re the only one I care about, other people’s opinions don’t concern me. -[Go See Him, NW Uniform]

Heart-wrenching reunion after 6+ months of being deprived of each other:

MC: Ga-

Observers: No.7! Why are you still standing there!?

They continue to call out to him, but Gavin ignores them.

He is stunned, his amber eyes freeze then flash with a knowing glimmer. He looks straight at her, his eyes gently caressing her.

Gavin super softly: Don’t cry.

Me: *cries*

Bonus: Gavin's Weibo has 7 beside his name! Additionally, his number in the motorcycle race on the latest date is 7, with his bike having written "B7" and "B7..." displayed.

[leohttbriar]

hello leoh, I just watched the coen Macbeth today & wished I was watching it with you bc I remember you had Opinions on it and I'd love to hear them further detailed

im literally blushing. i saw this ask before i saw the movie so, of course, you were with me in spirit the entire time i was watching it lol

anyway, first Take: like any coen movie, there's a level of this that's just Immaculate. obviously. i was a smidge annoyed at the look of the trailer (spooky, black and white, foggy and stuff) because that edged a little too close to throne of blood for me and as much as everyone pays homage to kurasawa (*cough* rips off *cough*) i didn't want to see the same Macbeth twice over.

but, i should've trusted in joel. and franny mcD. bc this movie is very much not throne of blood.

I really loved it, tbh. it was so removed and theatrical, the staging and blocking so like it would be in a theatre, the sets and production so limited and stage-like, and yet, for all that, it felt so grounded.

the fairytale tone of it really sold the story for me. like, the scene where lady macbeth throws the burning letter out her window and the camera pans over the obviously-faux starry night then down onto king duncan in his matching-starry cloak, with his golden-ring crown----

stunning.

im not going to sit here and list all the details i did like about it, because that would be wasting your time, friend, but i will say that, as an overall Opinion (it's true, im full of them), i felt this movie, more than anything understood the sort of ambiguous Goodness of Kings found in the play. like, the basic-high-school-reading of macbeth is about how James I/VI just became shakespeare's company's best patron and how Banquo is the start of the line that leads to the contemporary king of england, etc. but the play doesn't exactly come down one way or the other on whether banquo is "good" or macduff is "good." the Tragedy is not simply macbeth being a little murderer but the monarchical struggle for power. like, we know what shakespeare portraying a Good King taking Power looks like (see the end of richard iii) and it's not this sad fight between two people who have definitively failed their wives and loved ones.

anyway, the point is: there's this part in the movie in which macbeth is ranting at lady macbeth about how his crown is fruitless, and there's no point to killing the king, taking on that torturous guilt and pain, for the benefit of a line that's not his and the camera cuts to lady macbeth's face and frances mcdormand Acts the most gut wrenching "this is breaking my heart. i wear a dress with flowers but i am barren" expression, for the smallest moment, and it hurts.

like, the barren staging versus the forest, the half-human/half-beast weird sister(s), the stars on the king's cloak and the flowers on lady macbeth's dress---these all point towards the significance of Fecundity and also, within the context of the play, the emptiness of it. the king can only represent Fecundity---macbeth can only wear the crown, macduff can only mourn his family, banquo can never just be a father. it's all so precarious and by the end of it, you're like: is this worth it?

but the weird sister(s), either "weyward" or "wyrd," know what's going to happen and speak it. so is it meant to go this way? is what is divinely-decided good? or is it just IS? macbeth, descending as he talk about lady macbeth's death, thinks it's all really Stupid. but the play doesn't tell us one or the other.

and the ending that coen gives the story, of banquo's son riding away and the crows emerging and filling the screen, sort of suggests that it's unknowable and terrifying to know even if you could (the macbeth's). like, who wants to know what god knows.

the Larger Story here is: this is a very cute romance. when Macbeth is explaining how the king was killed and he's looking right at her the entire time, it's like, that's Devotion. That's Love. "i'll kill my king/father" is as Romantic as it gets.

[girls-are-very-pretty]

Hi! So I talked to my friend about the movie The Great Gatsby earlier and I said the movie is better than the book and he thinks the book is always better than the movie, so I wrote up a thing and sent it to him that is 3 reasons why the movie is better than the book, and I actually think theres some very good points here and I got enthusiastic about it so I really want to share it, so I’m going to. Hopefully someone else has opinions because while I personally think the movie is better and theres many reasons beyond the scope of this three point list, I am always interested in hearing new perspectives and opinions, so like don’t yell at me because I get hurt easily but like tell me what you think:

Reason why I liked the movie better than the book Number One: In the movie it starts with Nick Carraway in an institution, it uses his therapy to reflect upon, and in turn play out, the story. This is excellent because not only does it leave you wondering what lead up to this (if you haven’t read the book), but it also expresses and implies that the events in the story have a lasting impact. That they exist beyond the scope of the immediate tale, that the characters mean something both in general and to each other. The events of the story affect Nick Carraway in such a profound and deeply distressing or painful way that he was left with no option but to go to an asylum in what I assume is the 20’s-30’s which was never really the preferable option.                                                      

Reason Number Two Why I liked the Movie Better: The Actors. There's that one scene around the middle where daisy and Gatsby are in Gatsby’s house and they tour it and daisy says its beautiful, and Gatsby throws shirts at her and she says they’re beautiful and that he’s ruining them. 

When we read the book all we know of Daisy is that she seems to be shallow, always wants to have money, this seems to be proven when she remarks on the beauty of his house and the clothes but the key difference is the actors. In the book you can’t connect to Daisy at all, she’s functionally emotionless.

 But in the movie she’s beautiful and vivid, when she’s with her husband she’s always quiet and does whatever he says, but when she spends the day with Gatsby and Nick, she’s loud. She breaks things and Gatsby looks at her like she hung the stars herself, so she keeps going. They play around and she talks about dancing in the big hall. She jumps on the bed and twirls around. Then, when he throws the shirts at her, she isn’t looking at them. She says they’re beautiful but she’s looking at him. She’s laughing genuinely for the first time in the whole movie, and when she says “you’ll ruin them” she suddenly becomes sad, she collapses onto the bed and Gatsby runs to her as she tears up, she says “they’re just so beautiful” and looks across the bay to her house, but its a cover up. Its her realizing that she can make messes here, she doesn’t need to be worried about ruining things, her husband isn’t going to yell at her because she isn’t the prim, proper, beautiful, showpiece woman he was promised. Its her realizing she can’t have this and it’s all going to end when she gets home. 

She loves Gatsby and she loves being treated like a person, someone who can express herself and break golf clubs if she hits things wrong and she won’t get in trouble for it. But she made her bed and now she must lie in it, no matter how much she hates it and desperately wants to leave. You can’t read that in the book, it’s simply not there, but the actors bring the characters off the page, they give them compelling reasons to have actions, you understand their emotions significantly better. And it's beautiful.                         

 Reason Number 3 Why the Movie is Better: The music. The music is a mix of popular tracks by Beyonce and JZ but also by strong indie pop singers such as Lana Del Ray and Florence and the Machine. 

The story happened a long time ago and we can’t always sympathize or connect with things that happen a long time ago but some of the more modern “radio tracks” you could say, help express the decadent era as something we can understand. Fun, light hearted, mischievous and dramatic. And then the other tracks come in, Young and Beautiful as well as Over the Love and they’re so emotional and dramatic and heart wrenching that even though these are rich people and we associate them with those other light hearted tracks because “money buys happiness” these tracks come in and show you its the complete opposite. 

It’s a punch to the gut and the song sticks with you after the movie ends. This idea of money and decadence not being able to buy happiness is really what the whole story is about so the tracks support the main thesis so well in these subtle but powerful ways that I still listen to these soundtracks even now because they speak to a deeper part of the human condition. Its like even though the curtains have closed, humanity continues, life goes on and its tragic and brutal. 

There's also a line in Over the Love where Florence says “there's a green light in your eyes” and it connects to when Daisy goes to Nick’s house and they both go to Gatsby’s. There’s a scene where she says “I can see my house, just across the bay,” and he looks at her and the light reflects in his eyes in such a way that the blue looks green for just a moment and its symbolic. There’s the green light on her dock marking her as forever out of his reach, and there’s the green light in his eyes. He’s out of reach as well because she’s married and has children. They’re both out of reach and there's nothing they can do about it. 

The music brings it all together and I feel like I wouldn’t have noticed that little detail in that scene if the music hadn’t been filled with subtle nods to important parts of the story, just like the book has you read between the lines and make connections yourself, the music is the space between the lines. You have to really listen to it and if you do you feel like so much has been opened up to you, the movie is just as multifaceted as the book, you just have to give it the benefit of the doubt. 

[tiredkeys]

The Arcana boys when their S/O comes to them after a long day and just breaks down

Requested by beenmadeblue!

+Asra+

Asra knows you’ve had a rough few days. 

He’s seen you come back to the shop and all but pass out from exhaustion. But today when you come in, you don’t immediately claim a chair and fall into a deep sleep, he assumes you had a good day. 

You disappear into the back and he’s quick to clean up. He takes a few minutes and closes up the shop, ushering any stragglers out and dusting. 

When he finally does follow you back, he notices you shaking. 

This is when he begins to worry

Maybe he was wrong to assume your day was better

Shouldn’t he have noticed something when you walked into the back earlier?

He walks around so he can face you. Noticing your tears, he grasps your hands and softly asks you what’s wrong

Gentle whispers of “What worries you, my love?”

“What happened today?”

“My dove, how can I help you?

You shatter, crying freely and leaning into him. You’re grasping at his sleeves as he pulls you into his chest and holds you as you sob out your frustration, sadness and defeat. 

Eventually, if you’d like to talk through your day, he will listen. 

Still holding you tightly, he will rock you gently as you tell him everything that happened that day, humming in agreement or anger at certain points. 

When you have cried out all your emotions, he quickly picks you up and puts you in bed.

He’ll make tea, and if you aren’t asleep by then, he will sit next to you and comfort you

_Julian_

You have a habit of appearing out of nowhere around poor Julian

He’ll be concentrating on something and you’ll just show up!

Hes real unobservant when he’s working

But one day you show up and hug him from behind

At first, he laughs and tries to shrug you off

But when you just cling to him?? He gets real worried real quick

He quickly turns around and envelops you

Whether you cry or simply sag against him, he holds you

When he thinks you’ve calmed down just a little, he will carefully detach himself from you

Always keeping one eye on you, he’ll quickly clean up whatever he was doing

Then he’ll pick you up and sit down in the comfiest chair he owns

You’ll be in his lap, and he will gently ask you about you day

If you’d like to talk about it, he will gladly listen

Piping up here and there with short opinions like

“Oh yeah, I know about that”

“Haven’t seen her in a while”

Whenever you begin to ramble on about the worse parts of your day, he will most likely be quieter

Still holding you, but giving you the freedom to move your arms around and just get it out

And if you don’t want to talk about it, he will still gently rock you as you work through your emotions

Maybe he will hum to you, a song from his childhood that he barely remembers, and wipe your eyes

Or he will tell you funny stories or jokes in an attempt to cheer you up, his own laughter mixing with yours

You two probably fall asleep like that, his chin resting on your head, in that chair

*Muriel*

He may not like people all that much but he can read a room pretty well

And he knows your work has been wearing you down the past few days

When you stumble into his house, half dazed and exhausted? 

He’s almost instantly on your case

He’s gently taking your bag, getting you something warm to drink, maybe gathering a soft blanket

All the while you are just standing in his foyer

As soon as he’s done bustling around, he will very, very carefully cradle your face

He will look over you, making sure you are not physically injured before looking into your eyes and asking what’s wrong

There’s no additives, he’s very straight to the point, but the pure care in his eyes is enough to pull down your last defenses

You fall into him, and he very gently puts his arms around you and rubs your back

He’s so so careful and won’t make any sudden movements

Or really any movements at all

He’s real scared of doing something wrong, so he will just silently support you and comfort you the best he can

If you want to talk, he will arrange it so you can sit down at a table and talk about what’s bugging you

He’s a fantastic listener and won’t interject much

But if there is a point where you begin to get choked up? Or particularly angry?

He will reach across the table and grasp your hand or wipe your tears away

He will rub small circles into your hand as you tell him about the who and what that made you upset

In the end, you could pull yourself into his arms and he would be very still but so warm

=Lucio=

Look at this man

I mean, he probably unintentionally did something to add to your stress but we will ignore that for now

He’s also hella dense because he is HELLA egotistical

So he doesn’t notice when you storm into your shared bedroom, absolutely livid

He’s just touching up his makeup or something and really just throws empty comments your way as you set your stuff down

But when he turns around to fully face you, just as he’s about to ask your opinion about something he did, he notices your face, which is now red and puffy, and the pillow you are now gripping with malicious intent

And boy does his face drop quickly

At first he’s worried he’s done something to hurt you and rushes over to you

He doesn’t even touch you he’s so worried

Before he can say anything, you go off

Tears fall freely down your face as you talk about what's upsetting you

He goes to sit on the bed while you pace and work through your anger

It wrenches his heart out to see you like this, gripping the pillow close to your chest and sobbing

Eventually, he walks around to you and gently hugs you

It’s a little awkward with the pillow in between you two, but neither of you really care at this point

By now, you are exhausted, by both the long day you suffered through and the yelling you just did

And he allows you both to sink down to the floor

You both sit there for a while

Just breathing

Until he gets up, pulling you with him

He begins to draw you a bath, adding oils and salts

As you get settled in, he will call for something to drink

As we all know, he is the self care King and knows how all the right ways to get you to relax and rejuvenate

Thank you all for reading! Man, this was so much fun to work out! Stay safe out there!

[t-o-m-hollands]

Can you post a little blurb abt the Paris couple and how they’re doing a few years later? Like, did they have kiddos, did they ever choose to get married, did they ever move back to Paris together in a lovelier apartment, how’s timothée’s art (can he still produce masterpieces without being sad?), what do they usually do on their free days, did they ever full on talk about that gut wrenching letter he wrote years ago, did she keep that letter, did they ever quit smoking, did they furnish the house the way they wanted to, did they paint their walls and get bigger beds, do they have designated sides of beds?

Hi! 💗💗💗☺

God I love these questions so much, but I’m sort of done with the Paris universe you know? Like, I don’t think I can write just a blurb for them because I feel like their story is told now.

BUT! I reeeeally love these questions so I will answer them below the read more!

Concerning if or not they have children... Look, I don’t know what it is about these two but I can’t imagine them as parents? So I’d have to say no, and if they did they had them later in life. They are not cut out to be young parents. Like, god, can you imagine? They’d definitely be those obnoxious parents that never set any boundaries or rules what so ever to their children so they just roam free causing havoc. Like especially since they’d be parents in the 1950’s-60’s. If they had a kid born in that time it would be a boy and he’d have been absolutely unable to handle any sort of rules and become a rock ‘n roll star in a band in the 70’s.

I do think they would get married. Not immediately, y/n having been married already once, but they would in the end. Something small and very bohemic but chic. Definitely a small courthouse wedding, were Y/n wears something chic but minimalistic - like a satin dress or the suit Bianca Jagger had on her wedding day (hat included), and then they’d have a big riot of a party at the villa with most of the village, and the entire wedding budget spent on champagne to go around to everyone. They don’t wish for any wedding gifts but everyone brings something homecooked to eat so there’s food for everyone. The milanese jazz band makes a glorious return and plays the entire party. 

I think they’d live in Paris a few months of the year, like december to may. They’d buy a new, more expensive apartment, probably in montmartre or maybe even the 16th arrondissement , since they have plenty of money partly because of Y/n divorce but also after the inheritance. I think they’d also go to italy and travel there a lot and maybe even stay a summer there by lake Garda or something. And once they’d go on a skiing holiday to the alps but Timothée is so not a skier so they don’t do that again. They also go to Monte Carlo sometimes. 

Timothée would probably still keep the artist studio to paint in, but only have it as his work studio.

Timothée’s would go through like 10 different stages throughout his career (his blue period, just like Picasso’s, being widely admired). Then there’s his landscape phase (a phase he later in life will completely ignore and flat out deny happened, going so far as lying about not having painted certain pictures when art dealers ask him if they are genuine or not. He’ll flat out lie and say it’s a fraud made by a lesser artist). Then there’s his sketches phase, a brief phase but after his death some of the most sought after of his entire work (probably because there’s so few of them). The thing I think he’d most be admired for in the art world would be his use of colours (and most critiqued for his anatomy, he’s all sharp angles). But his longest phase would probably be sort of like Brassaï photos but as paintings (does that make sense? I don't know, I was Obsessed with Brassaï photos when I was in art school). Like dramatic but realistic paintings of Paris and Nice’s nightlife. 

And i’d say he was a better painter when he stopped moping around. He’d use his flair for the dramatics in his paintings instead of in real life. 

On their free days the live pretty much like they live in the last two part of Paris, except they are more openingly loving towards the other; and also they talk more. Like, they’d spend breakfast together and then they go off doing different things like read or lunch with friends or paint. Then they have dinner together and talk and spend the evening together or with friends. Since neither of them really have a set schedule their free days are more when they just decide to take off and go to Monte Carlo for a few days and gamble some money away and eat like kings and queens. Also, they’d discover a love for cinema, and often go there in the evening to see the newest Bergman movie or Godard. They’d go to the theatre a lot as well and without fail lovingly argue everytime about their vastly different opinions about how each shakespear play should be handled (their most divided opinions are on Othello and Macbeth)

Also, omg, Waiting For Godot actually came out 1953, I could have written that into the story!! GOD they’d argue for HOURS about the meaning of that play.

I think talking about The Letter is like poking at a bruise for the both of them. But yes, they’d talk about that. They’d also talk more about her marriage, and about William’s book. But the letter, absolutely, but it would take a while into the settled relationship before it was brought up. She’d definitely keep the letter, because she has conflicted emotions about it I’d probably have to spend a good 1,5k words on trying to explain, but she doesn’t want to throw it away. She hides it in a book (probably in a book of anatomy, which Timmy never understands why they own, and she keeps in the section showing the anatomy of the heart. That feels like something over dramatic enough (also fits with timmy writing in the letter that he has a Frankenstein's monster kind of heart)). 

And hahahaha yes I hope they quit smoking in the end. In the early 50’s smoking was still considered to be actually healthy (!!!!) but as they get older and more information about the dangers of it get out to the wider public I’d say they’d try to stop. Probably somewhere mid 1980’s they’d quit for good. 

Y/N has FULL control of the decorating of wherever they live because timothée is just too bohemian in attitude and can literally sleep in any dump. Y/n on the other hand is a very aesthetic creature and finds a love for decorating. In fact, she might even start up a small interior design business in her 50’s and do very well at it. She definitely puts up colourful and patterned wallpaper in every room, they are not a household that does white walls. The only place she doesn’t have control of the design is probably timmy’s studio, there he decides and it shows. And oh god yes, they most certainly got a big and comfortable bed together. The mattress is new but the bed frame is an antique from… rococo period maybe? Or maybe just a neoclassical one? Not sure on that actually. But its big and comfy.

For some reason I see them both as people who trash around alot in their sleep? Like, they start out with designated sides in bed (timothée sleeping closest to the door) but during sleep they’ll end up all over the place? Arm and legs just tangled together everywhere? Like absolute toddlers??

Oh god that got longer than I thought…. But that was so much fun answering, thank you a million times for sending it in!!!💗💗💗💗

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Hi! I just finished rewatching the Hunger Games movie for the first time in years and I'm curious: why do you think the ending didn't make sense? You have such good insight. Congratulations on your doctorate!

So this might be a bad answer, because I have not seen any of the Hunger Games movies except the first one, but.  I’m not a huge fan of the ending of the book series because I think there’s a fascinating political story there that gets a little lost behind the romance and adventure angles.

I really like that Katniss ends up killing President Coin and destroying her own symbolic role as Mockingjay in the process.  I really like the horrifying hints of how easy it would be for the new boss to be just like the old boss, once the dust settles.  I really like Katniss’s realization that she and Gale have grown apart, to the point where she can no longer support his extreme views.  That’s the aspect of Mockingjay I enjoy, and could happily read a whole book about.

However, all of that happens pretty quickly in the background of a whole other mess of plot threads.  Most of the book is devoted to having Peeta be brainwashed into trying to kill Katniss (and then just kinda not anymore? for reasons that happen offscreen?) and the former winners talk about their lives and Katniss feeling conflicted about Gale vs. Peeta and the plot with (I cringe even thinking the phrase) “Welcome to the seventy-sixth Hunger Games!” as a fun thing to say just before a bunch of people die.

None of that works, in my opinion, and none of it feels like it captures that made the first two books so good.  Hunger Games has Katniss’s mom’s long struggle against depression, and Katniss’s deeply complex feelings about that struggle and its impact on her and Prim.  Mockingjay has Peeta going through two different personality changes like a switch being thrown, with 0.05% of the respectful depiction of mental health that Katniss’s mom got.  Hunger Games focuses on a single plot conflict, with various characters’ personalities revealing themselves to the minimally-insightful Katniss as they’re forced to struggle against each other.  Mockingjay wanders through several characters’ lives and in some ways tells us too much about their trauma, in ways far less effective than the horrifying-by-implication hints we get in the first two books.

Hunger Games gives us a heroine who can easily be read as queer for her strong devotion to family ties and utter indifference to the vagaries of romance.  Mockingjay transforms most of that into a YA SF love triangle, creating a “competition” between Peeta and Gale for the “prize” of Katniss and then forcing the issue of one getting knocked out of the running.  Hunger Games hints that Katniss’s stable life is over no matter what, even if she has gained a friendship with Peeta and managed to stick it to the Capitol, because the entire time Haymitch is there as a foreboding specter of her likely future.  Mockingjay forcibly throws yet another Hunger Games approximation into Katniss’s path (with almost none of the cleverness of the first two) and then ends on Katniss and Peeta WATCHING THEIR CHILDREN SKIP HAND-IN-HAND THROUGH A FIELD OF FUCKING DAISIES.  Yes, yes, I know that there are complexifying hints in the way that image is presented, but THEY’RE SKIPPING.  Skipping through A FUCKING FIELD OF FUCKING DAISIES.  To say it’s “tonally inconsistent” with the rest of the series is like saying Dashcon was “less successful than expected.”

Mockingjay’s great strength is the same as that of Hunger Games: critiquing media narratives and the ways that the strangers’ pain is milked for entertainment by mainstream American society.  In Mockingjay, that specifically takes the form of Katniss getting turned into a media icon that then gets used to represent ideals she doesn’t stand for.  The contrast between “ad libbed” Katniss and “canned” Katniss does an excellent job of critiquing propaganda, even propaganda that has good intentions.  Coin’s assassination, which no one watching all that footage at home could’ve predicted, feels beautifully inevitable when we see the whole revolution through Katniss’s eyes.

I could happily read a whole other book just about the messy political situation that Katniss makes messier when she kills Coin.  But all of that gets rushed and shunted aside for the kinda-silly kinda-trite romance stuff and “lol, these traps are just like the Hunger Games” stuff.  (Maybe I should watch the movies.  Didn’t Mockingjay get two films to itself?) That series is amazing and brutal and heart-wrenching at its best, and frankly none of Katniss’s interaction with Peeta or Gale in that last book are “its best.”

[the-sleuthy-one-a]

am I allowed to send my url 👉👈

OF COURSE!!!

@herflame for this meme !

My Opinion on;

Character in general: Rain Mars...my moon my sun my peach my plum...I will never not be impressed by KC’s ability to create such engaging characters. They’ve put so much time and thought into the ACE universe and it truly shows in her replies; Rain’s story as an isolated girl in this cold, and often ruthless environment is so heart-breaking, especially as you see how it forces her to become stripped of humanity as the scientists rear her into this weapon, essentially. And although she becomes so strong in order to survive that environment, the fact that Rain also obeys so much to get even a sliver of praise from the people who stole her childhood is just gut-wrenching. It makes even more emotional post-ACE where she’s put back into the real world, the world she was told not to trust, and has to come to grips with a new reality. Despite how difficult it is, you absolutely root for Rain in her attempts to build relationships with her family that she has no memory of. (and you root for her in her badass vigilante work dsfhjsfhj)

How they play them:  Well since KC is Rain’s creator, there really isn’t anyone better to write her! No matter what verse she’s in, KC always portrays Rain with so much depth. They never shy away from portraying the extent to which ACE affected Rain (which is of course a lot considering she spent her formative years there), often showing her trust issues, struggles with establishing and maintaining relationships, and her recklessness. But on the flipside, we also get to see this awkward side to Rain as she figures things out, reminding us that despite how quickly she was forced to grow up, she’s still immature in other ways, such as in expressing vulnerability. Rain truly is a multi-faceted and I always love seeing what situations KC throws her in.

The Mun: KC is absolutely sweet!! I adore how eager she is to talks about Rain and her other characters, but also how willing she is to let others engage in her verse! It’s always so fun bouncing of them with character interactions, and they’re just always so welcoming and chatty, I love talking with her! 

Do I:

RP with them: Yes! Got many threads and drafts with Rain and other characters. 

Want to RP with them: Bro. Every time KC makes a new blog I am THERE.

What is my; 

Overall Opinion: Well thought out and loved character(s), and sweet mun!

**Note: Mun’s answer are all to be completely honest. Don’t send url if you don’t want brutal honesty

[smp-live]

Man in the (Shattered) Mirror Ch. 3

AO3   First   Prev   Next

No TWs for this one!

Phil stared in shock at the child that stood in front of him, mind still reeling from the past, what, five minutes? Had everything really gone to shit in five minutes?

Yes, a part of him whispered, all too acutely aware of how quickly a world could be turned on its head. (It was never meant to be. Kill me, Phil, kill me.)

But he couldn’t give in to the shock now. Not when there was a kid, just standing there. His kid, because the boy, without a doubt, was Wilbur.

Wilbur, looking not a day over seven, bandage plastered on his cheek, hair mussed up as it always had been - the gremlin flat-out refused to brush it, Phil remembered fondly. Wilbur, who was staring up at him with wide eyes and a trembling lip, clearly seconds away from bursting into terrified tears.

Phil was struck with the sudden, parental urge to pull his kid into his arms and make sure nothing ever happened to make him look like this again. So he pushed down all his own anxieties and fears and dread and opened his arms wide for a hug.

“Wil,” he said, voice breaking, and all of a sudden, he had an armful of crying child.

“Dad, dad,” Wilbur sobbed into his shoulder, “I was so scared, dad. I had a nightmare and I know you said not to go anywhere without telling you but when I woke up I wasn’t in bed anymore and that scary man was yelling and, and-”

“Shh, s’okay,” Phil soothed into his son’s hair, rubbing circles on his back, falling into the role of father all-too-easily. The kid looked up with red-rimmed eyes. “I’m here, Wil, you’re safe. Nobody’ll hurt you.”

Wilbur buried his head back in his shoulder, already over the strong burst of emotion in the way that only small children can be but still needing the relief of a hug. Phil looked up at the group surrounding him. They stared back in varying degrees of shock and discomfort.

“Is that Wilbur?” Tommy asked, incredulous. Phil nodded, and he scoffed.

“This is fuckin’ weird,” Fundy muttered, and Phil privately agreed before Wilbur shifted in his arms. He must have finally gathered his courage, because he pulled out from his arms and scowled at the people surrounding him.

“Who the fuck are you?” he accused, standing protectively between Phil and the others, and he felt his heart warm. Wilbur’s grip on his hand was tight, reassuring himself even as he tried to protect his dad.

“Wil, language,” he chided gently, and Wilbur looked back to stick his tongue out at him. He laughed, ignoring his son’s scowl as he went back to glaring at the others, and took a step forward to stand at his son’s side. “These are my friends.”

“Well I’ve never met them,” he said petulantly, wrenching his hand out of Phil’s and crossing his arms. “So they can’t be that good friends. Techno’s not even here.” His face lit up in excitement, and he gasped. “Can we go see him?”

Phil laughed again. Oh, how he’d missed his son, the one with the light of life and wonder in his eyes. Not the bitter, jaded thing he’d become somewhere along the line.

“We’ll see Techno later,” he reassured, smiling down at Wilbur, who bounced with excitement.

“This is fuckin’ weird, right? I’m not the only one who thinks this is absolutely insane?” Tommy said, breaking away from Ranboo’s side and turning to face the rest of the group.

It most definitely was fuckin’ weird, but Phil had long since learned to roll with the punches and push down his own opinions for the sake of others. And now, this young version of Wilbur (who should definitely not be here,) needed him to be a father, so a father he would be. His own feelings on the matter didn’t matter.

Besides, it was kind of nice to be a father, again. Wilbur had always been independent to an almost alarming degree, and so Phil hadn’t had nearly enough time as he wanted to be smothering and coddle him.

Eret had moved away from Ghostbur, walking gently towards Wilbur and Phil with hands slightly raised to show he meant no harm. He knelt down in front of them to be at eye level with the child, smiling friendlily.

“I’m Eret,” he introduced himself, “King of the Dream SMP.” Wilbur stared at his bejeweled crown in awe, mouth agape.

“Hi King Eret, sir,” he breathed out, all earlier apprehension gone. Still staring at the crown.

“Wanna see?” the King asked, pulling it off and holding it out. Wilbur gaped. “You can touch, it’s okay.”

Wilbur reached out hesitantly, running a hand over the shimmering jewels with a quiet “whoa.” He looked back up at Eret with the same light shining in his eyes and started literally bouncing as he word-vomited,

“You said you were King? What’s it like? How big’s your country? Who are your allies? Can I see-”

“Wilbur,” Phil said, putting a hand on his head as Eret laughed and stood back up, resting the crown back on their head, “manners.”

“Right,” he said, looking down. Then back up to the group, chest puffing out with the confidence of a child who knew exactly who he was. “My name’s Wilbur Minecraft, and I’m gonna change the world.”

Tommy snorted at that, and everybody turned to look at him. “You definitely could say that.”

Wilbur glared at him, studying, then turned to Phil. “I don’t like him.”

Phil laughed. “You don’t even know his name!” His son turned back to Tommy.

“What’s your name?”

“None of your business, bitch,” Tommy snarked, arms crossed.

“Tommy,” Phil sighed, “be nice.”

Tommy glared at him, muttering something that sounded suspiciously like “you’re not my fuckin’ dad,” under his breath, before sighing. “’s Tommy.”

“Tommy, I don’t like you,” Wilbur said cheerfully.

“Fuck you too, bitch.”

Wilbur gasped, mouth forming a tiny ‘o’. “Phil, how come he gets to swear but I don’t?” he pouted.

“Because he’s older than you, mate.”

Wilbur pondered that for a second before asking, “will I be able to swear when I’m older?”

Phil couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Oh, trust me, you will.” Wilbur must have been satisfied with that answer, because he stepped over to Ranboo with crossed arms.

“It’s rude not to introduce yourself, you know,” he said, clearly giving his best impression of a stern Phil.

“Oh!” Ranboo’s tail lashed, taken aback. “I’m Ranboo. Nice to meet you.”

Wilbur studied him for a few moments, during which Ranboo looked increasingly uncomfortable, starting to fidget with his grass block. Finally, apparently he was done with his evaluation, for he nodded.

“You’re okay,” he proclaimed.

“Oh come on!” Tommy exclaimed, throwing his hands up in frustration.

“Thanks?” Ranboo sounded hesitant, but Wilbur had already turned to Fundy expectantly. But the fox didn’t acknowledge him, instead turning to Phil.

“Are we not gonna address,” Fundy trailed off, sending a pointed look towards Wilbur, “that?”

Phil sighed. “What are we supposed to do about him?”

“I don’t know!” Fundy threw his hands up. “Maybe, I don’t know, try and figure out what the fuck is happening?” Phil opened his mouth to argue, or maybe agree, but Eret stepped forward with an interjection.

“It’s been a long day,” they said with a smile. “How about we meet back up tomorrow to discuss?”

“Where?” Tommy asked, almost an accusation.

“My castle’s always open,” they suggested.

“Alright then,” Phil announced, flaring his wings for attention. “We meet tomorrow at Eret’s at midday. Go home and get some rest.”

Tommy took that as his immediate cue to leave, dragging Ranboo along behind him, who turned back to look at Fundy. Said fox muttered a quiet “see you tomorrow,” before heading off around the crater, ears pressed flat against his head.

That left Phil and his son, Eret, and Ghostbur. Ghostbur, who still looked absolutely terrible, somehow paler than normal. Eret walked up to him, murmuring a soft “Ghostbur?” He didn’t even react, glazed-over eyes staring into the distance.

“Who’s that?” Wilbur asked in awe, and Phil’s stomach clenched. “He’s all transparent-looking. Like a ghost!”

“I’ll explain later,” Phil murmured offhandedly. That wasn’t his son, wasn’t even a quite a person, in his eyes, but... He was concerned, sue him.

“I’ll take care of him,” Eret said quietly, looking up at Phil. He nodded, and they started guiding him towards the Greater SMP with a hand on the ghost’s back.

“C’mon,” Phil said, starting to walk towards the Nether portal with a hand outstretched for Wilbur to grab. When he didn’t feel anything, didn’t hear the pattering of little feet behind him, he turned, a question on his tongue.

Wilbur was staring at his back, hands clasped over his mouth and tears in his eyes. He looked absolutely devastated.

“Hey, hey Wil, what’s wrong, mate?” Phil asked gently, rushing over to him and taking his hands. They were dwarfed in his own.

“What,” Wilbur hiccuped, “what happened to your wings?” and oh.

“Oh, I...” Phil started. How did he explain this? He couldn’t exactly say ‘a future version of you went fucking insane and blew up a nation, my wings along with it,’ could he?

“I accidentally hurt them a while back,” he settled on, rustling them. Wilbur looked up with wide eyes. “It’s okay, though. They don’t even hurt anymore.” Most of the time, he amended.

“Promise?” Wilbur asked with wide eyes. Phil smiled reassuringly.

“Promise. Now, let’s get going, ‘kay?” The kid nodded and he stood up, keeping Wilbur’s hand in his own. “It’s a long way home.”

[thekidultlife]

The Most Convenient Escape | Jihoon Soulmate! AU (1)

⍟ Pairing: Jihoon x fem!reader

⍟ AU: Fantasy/ Soulmate AU

⍟ Genre: ANGST, SLOW BURN, fluff

⍟ Warnings: swearing, mentions of abuse, drinking, and sex

⍟ Word Count: 4.5k

⍟ Synopsis: For all your life, you have a deep disdain towards Soulmate Bonds, so much so that you are able to writeopinions about it in a local newspaper. However, as life would have it, you wake up one day bonded to a person you hardly knew. Throwing in an investigation, annoying roommates, and a revolution looming just beneath the surface, you had to seek for the most convenient escape.

CHAP 1 | CHAP 2 | CHAP 3 | CHAP 4 | CHAP 5 |  CHAP 6 |

AN OPINION ON THE SOULMATE BOND by Alex Fireflower

The Porta Persa Edition, August 17

If the appeal of romance and the idea that a person whose devotion to us shall surpass eternity exists in our midst, among the younger generations, if there was any doubt in this matter, then the recent excitement for the coming Soulmate Bonding Ceremony is its colorful illustration. Alas, our dear friends of the State! It is once again time for the great and olden tradition of Soulmate Bonding. Here in this land of abundance and prosperity which gifts are said to be owed to this venerable ceremony, we must lay upon our trust and our fate to ancient magic, which we wholly believe shall lead our hearts to our destined soulmate--our lifetime partner, the other half of our soul, and so on. 

Yet our dear readers, allow this humble editor to argue the opposite. 

 It is established that the magic of Soulmate Bonding allows two persons, at most random strangers, to be paired together for a lifetime; sharing either emotions, thoughts or senses. Such a practice has always been placed under a rose-colored light by the government which, if simplified in broad terms is, in our opinion, a blatant propaganda for an obsolete tradition which endangers the wellbeing of our citizens, a practice which limits responsibility and free will, core values of which this land has been founded upon.

 If we shall suppose that a relationship between soulmates is perfect and blessed upon by the great heavens, then cases of arguments and cases of abuses would not exist as pests of our society, the destroyer of families and the trauma of children. If soulmate relationships are the pinnacle of success in family life, then divorce laws do not have any purpose to exist in our civil code, as custody battles do not have a place in our respectable courts. We are all blinded by the garish lighting provided by this dictatorship; through their flowery and romanticised propaganda we hear in the radios everyday as we sit down for breakfast or as we enjoy our pudding after dinner. This poor excuse of a government which has deceived its own people, seeks absolute authority through the most invasive ways known to man, inside the most intimate partnership a human being could experience in their entire life.

 By consuming this tomfoolery, we become puppets to romance, to impossible dreams, thus vulnerable to the mandates of this dictatorship. It is said that men, whose eyes are set high above the heavens, are doomed to fall off the cliff’s edge. There ought to be balance between idealism and pragmatism, lest we suffer the consequences of our own torn expectations of a perfect relationship and a good life. By relinquishing our right to choose, to exercise free will, we then must forget our roles as individuals, solely responsible for the effects of our choices. We then shall blame it on neutral magic, on fate and the Universe, the mistakes of our own doing. Aye indeed, let us ought to create the most convenient escape from our own flaws and our indecisiveness. Let us forever be destined to depend our lives upon the forces of the Universe, upon accidents of Nature!...

You smelled like ink. 

 The ugly, artificial scent of a printing press; ink. You had it on your hands as well, catching a freshly pressed newspaper as the midnight breeze blew upon a stack by the window. It was late yet the machine kept whirring, pressing, printing as piles of paper grew into hills and mountains of South Porta Persa.

 It would truly be unlucky to trip and make a mess of everything right now, you thought, inspecting the warm paper for any misspelt words or misaligned layouts with a careful eye. 

 “Good enough for' ya, darlin’?” A voice deep and rumbling interrupted your close inspection, his tone mischievous and mirthful as he wiped his hands clean on his trusty apron, the metal wrenches on it clattering about.

 It was good ole’ Jupiter, the ruler of the mechanical movable type in grand Porta Persa, a man late in his forties with a receding hairline to match. You had always liked him since you were a child, in his long beard and ink stained hands, and his various adventures at sea in his large Galleon. Yet now he is a master of the press, and you were his client.

 Giving a satisfied smile, you shrugged, placing the newspaper on top a stack without minding. 

 "Better than anywhere else, my good Sir," you replied, a trace of a laugh hinting to escape. "Nowhere I can trust The Porta Persa Edition to anyone other than in your expert hands." 

 He chuckled, his belly rumbling; just as anyone named 'Jupiter' should be. "Then I'm honered lass! As I'm honored to be Alex Fireflower's avid reader!" 

 "Oh stop flattering me," you chuckled, patting his shoulder. "Ah, it seems quite late now, isn't it? I better go." 

 Jupiter nodded. "Aye lass, you're movin' to the Academy tomorrow, innit? Ya should hurry home now before anyone catches ya!" 

 "Aye, captain!" You replied in a singsong voice, quickly moving to the exit. "Oh and please tell Soonyoung, if he comes over later in the morning that I need help with the bags! Thanks, Jupiter! May Jove kiss you on the asscheeks!"

 Kissing his cheek goodbye, you bounced down the stairs as you heard him bark in laughter and raced back to the home you have been staying since you were a child. Even as a daughter of the city alchemist, you lived humbly with your father in a two-story house with a style akin to stale bread. Yet he was usually absent, either in the homes of the sick or in some faraway place hunting ingredients for his potions. It didn't matter to you anyway. 

 Snuck behind the back door, you eventually reached your room and lit a gaslamp on your otherwise messy desk full of paper and books. It never gets cleaned up in some way or another, you thought.

 Sitting on your bed, you watched the glittering lights of Porta Persa at midnight, wondering if Alex Fireflower's words in that widely popular newspaper would lit a fire in people's hearts. Despite your young age, being a writer in a prolific paper was anxiety inducing, knowing how much words could stir up a person's sentiments.

 From afar, you could hear a faint melody of a love song between lovers, soulmates. A concept you disdainfully look down upon, if your writings were any indication to that. The bonding ceremony never sat well with you. You never understood those who excitedly and eagerly surrender their life to the whims of coincidence and then live to become happy. It was either a pretense or an 'anyone will do' type of situation. 

"Oh, isn't the ceremony later in the morning?" You remarked, peaking at the calendar on your desk. You shrugged. 

In any case, you have been prepared to deny this unwelcome intruder. It took a while to research but there were ways to suppress the connection between soulmates, mostly elaborate spellwork and potions. Yet you have been ready for years, almost a decade: casting spell upon spell on yourself and drinking disgusting potions, truly glad that you had an alchemist for a father. Now nothing will stand in the way between you and your aspirations. 

Getting a bit sleepy, you snuck in your sleeping gown and laid on the bed. Closing your eyes, and for once, leaving the rest for the Universe's turn in this game of chance. 

The next thing you came to was a dull throb on your head, something akin to a mediocre hangover, and a loud rapping on your front door. It was late in the morning. The birds were chirping, the loud clattering of bustling human activity and Soonyoung’s rather energetic shouting on your front door was grating on your ears. 

You tried to think of any reason why you were particularly not feeling a hundred percent today yet was once again interrupted by Soonyoung calling you out. 

Rolling off your bed however, made everything come crashing down on you. You lurched on the floor, thinking about throwing up yet none came, only your empty coughs and an uncomfortable pressure on your diaphragm were there. Your limbs were weak and trembled as you tried to lift your leg up, inevitably stumbling back to the floor and hitting your back against the bedpost in a painful thud. 

What is this…? 

In your pain, you grit your teeth, unable to utter anything with your dry throat. You tried to massage your temples to alleviate the throbbing, yet that was the exact moment you realized what was actually happening. With eyes as wide as saucers and a heart rate that seemed to increase in great increments, a cold sweat ran down your spine as you saw what was on your wrist. A cynical grin on your lips, you scoffed at the chances.  

 “...dammit,” you squeezed out, glancing at the bracelet-like tattoo around your wrist, in its clear straight horizontal bars and iridescent shine whenever you turned it around. You almost laughed at how ridiculous things were. Your greatest nightmare has happened while you were asleep. A bond has been formed. 

Finally having some sort of clarity, you were suddenly feeling much better, knowing what to do next. Dragging out a chest underneath your bed, you fished out a concoction which would weaken the suppressants you had induced upon yourself over the years. 

This was the side effect, you considered as you took the potion in one swallow. The suppressants would make you feel terribly ill, more so because this was day zero of the bond, but it will effectively block out the connection. On the other hand, you can weaken the blockage, yet it would as well restore the connection between you and your soulmate.

You cringed at the thought, yet there was no other choice. Today was moving day and you knew, without a doubt, that left alone for any longer, Soonyoung would break into your house, worrying something had happened to you. Something  did happen, yet it was none of his concern.  

And speaking of the devil, there he was rushing into your room; panting and sweaty from probably climbing the terrace and into one open window, as you hid your trunk of potions back under the bed. 

“Y/N! “ he  shouted, barging inside and spotted you dusting your lap as you stood up. “You weren’t answering the door, so I--“

“I’m fine,“ you interrupted, sensing energy forming at the base of your stomach as it wells up and stretches into a thin string. Hopefully, the amount of potion you drank was not too strong enough to lower your walls.

You shook your head. “Anyway, can you help me with my stuff? They’re already down the hallway, so we only have to carry them to the terminal.” 

“Oh, sure, sure. But seriously, are you alright?” Soonyoung asked, noting you were more closed off than usual. You only turned your back at him and walked towards your closet. 

“I’m fine, Soonyoung. Don’t worry,” you dismissed him. “Now, could you please allow me to dress myself up?” 

He was quiet for a while but eventually nodded, and left you in your ministrations. Sighing as he closed the door and disappeared, you struggled to keep yourself up. Just by lowering the suppressants, a tidal wave of thoughts barraged inside your head, immediately overwhelming you. They were obviously not yours and now you wondered if this was your connection, and if your soulmate was also thinking what you were thinking at that moment. Before you could arrive at an answer though, the thoughts once again stopped and your mind calmed down. 

You breathed in and out. There was no way you could truly understand what was happening. You can only form conjectures and draw theories yet none of them were absolutely irrefutable. You couldn’t understand why it suddenly stopped, but  nevertheless it was a welcome development. You can finally finish your chores without disturbance.  

As soon as you were done, you went downstairs to look for Soonyoung who seemed to have been waiting at the drawing room. He had already hailed a carriage to carry your belongings to the terminal, so you guessed it was only you they were waiting for.  

“I hope no one has called the police when you climbed through the terrace again,” you greeted him with a smile, your personal trunk on your hands.

“Nah, they know it’s just me,” he replied, grinning back as he took your trunk. 

Soonyoung was a childhood friend, the heir of a fine and lucrative shipping company among many in Porta Persa. He has a natural talent in mischief and a bundle of energy, yet surprisingly hard working. Together with you and Wonwoo, who was another friend, Soonyoung was currently preoccupied with The Porta Persa Edition as one of its editors. 

"We'll be seeing more of each other from now on!" He remarked excitedly, helping you up the carriage before joining in as well. "If you know what I mean." 

You sighed at his rather indiscreet methods of discretely conveying that you three were running a rather controversial newspaper. 

"How was today's paper though?" You asked as the carriage began moving and jumping around the cobblestones. 

Soonyoung grinned victoriously. "Folks were deliciously eating it by the news stands and Wonwoo said the Parliament and the Royal Elders were absolutely livid with Alex Fireflower's piece!" 

You feel a sweatdrop roll down your cheek. 

"It's kind of scary with the way you say that," you replied, and then continued with a more confident tone, "but I'm glad they got the message. People need to wake up from this farce." 

"You seriously hate the soulmate thing, huh?" Soonyoung commented. "I mean, I can't really say anything since I don't have my bond yet." 

You glanced at him, thinking of your own bond and instinctively hid your wrist underneath your gloves. 

"Lucky for you."

By the time you both arrived at the terminal, it was all a breeze from there. The teleportation portals were not as busy compared to other days, thus with just a cart and Soonyoung by your side, you have officially moved to the Royal Academy of Porta Persa. 

The Royal Academy of Porta Persa, or just the Academy, was a state-ran university, yet the most prominent among other universities in the area. Atop a hill overlooking the main port, it was constantly covered by wisteria and cherry blossom trees all year long thanks to magic, painting a surreal landscape for all of Porta Persa to see. 

"Even if I've seen this from my window every night, this is still quite a sight to take in," you exclaimed as you both walked towards the dormitories. 

Soonyoung gave a small smile. "I was like that last year, you know."

Due to the prestige of the Academy and its quality of education, only a select few can attend its venerable halls of learning: the elite and the intellectually gifted. You were lucky to be part of the latter group. The entrance examinations were intense yet you still made it, happy that you were finally able to attend their Effective Journalism class which was the reason why you wanted to go in the first place. 

"I'm sure your dorm master will tell you later, but I'm going to say it anyway," Soonyoung started as he pushed your cart up a slope. "In the dorm rooms, the ladies and the gents are separated."

He made it seem so controversial that you made a deadpan look by the time he finished talking.  

"I think that should be obvious by now." 

 "Eh? But aren't you disappointed? We can't brainstorm article ideas together with Wonwoo, you know!" 

 "But we can just talk in the courtyard." You shrugged, not really getting Soonyoung. 

 "We can't just talk in the courtyard! People will know we're The Porta Persa Edition!"

You stopped walking. "Soonyoung, the newspaper is registered in your name. I think, except my identity as Alex Fireflower, this is no longer any secret." 

He gave an exasperated sigh. "You're such a killjoy!"

"Oh, look. We're here," you pointed out, totally ignoring Soonyoung's comment. 

The girl's dormitory looked especially lavish with marble and ornate columns. Lilac wisteria trees dotted the surroundings, creating a flowery curtain around the dormitory. On the entrance way though was a female guard and the dorm master.

"I think I can manage from this point on," you said, taking the cart from your friend's grasps, "Thanks for your help though! I'll contact you later!"

"Oh if you say so then! Hope your roommate's nice though!" he replied, taking a step back and giving a small salute. "I'll wait for you and Wonwoo in the dorms! See you!" 

You gave a cheeky smirk and saluted him back before pushing your way inside the dorm. As you entered, the dorm master welcomed you with a polite smile in her dark floor length dress and clipboard in her hands. She was an older woman yet lacked the frightening aura dorm masters seemed to have. 

"Good morning! You are Ms. Y/N, I assume?" She asked and you nodded, showing your identification pin as proof. 

"Well unfortunately, we don't have any room in the main building, which is why we have decided that incoming students have to stay at the refurbished building." She started as she began walking you across the courtyard. "There were a lot of students last year, we really had no choice."

"I see. Well, I'm ok with anywhere, to be honest. As long as I have a bed and a desk to write on," you replied, gazing at the fancy architecture prominent among all the buildings. 

She chuckled. "Don't worry. The rooms are considerably bigger in the renovated building with a private bathroom and a small kitchen, though you have to share it with another person."

"That's quite fancy, huh? Looks like I still have my luck today," you replied with a chuckle, pushing your cart forwards. 

Shortly, the building you were to stay for the rest of your years in the university pulled into view. It was indeed massive and frighteningly grand, and seemed like only the rich can afford such residence, which definitely worried you. It would be quite difficult if you got paired with a snobby and spoiled princess of some far away land. 

Entering the building, you noticed that the hallways were no different with its golden inlays and dark marbled floors. Ceiling to floor windows graced on your left as the dorm master led you to the third floor (via an elevator) and to a wide ornate door. 

"I think it's this room." Fishing a set of keys from her pocket, she opened the door and led you inside.

To no surprise, it was an extravagant room. In your front was a sofa set by a fireplace which serves a sitting room for guests. The common room proper was separated by french doors and a wall of glass which looked like sets of windows.

You slowly took it in, unused to this kind of place. Taking a step forward, you looked around: there were fresh roses on the side table, bookcases filled with heavy tomes and encyclopedias, a scent of nearby cherry blossom flowers from an open window. 

This was definitely not what you had expected. This large room fit for royals was not what you had in mind when you imagined yourself living in the dorm rooms of the Academy. And it frightened you. 

"Do...do I have to pay for this?" You asked the dorm master who was waiting for you at the doorway. 

She smiled. "No need to worry, Ms. Y/N. All of your expenses here are paid by the state."

"Is it really alright for me to be here…" 

Your words faltered, thinking about how lucky and privileged you were to be living in this kind of place in the next few years, while there were others who stayed in a much humble dorm room. 

"Is it not to your liking?" The dorm master asked which you immediately denied. 

"No, no. This is good," you said. Too good even.

Your thoughts you flushed out before it could convince you to just stay at your family home. That would definitely not be ideal at all. Tentatively opening the french doors leading to the common room, what you saw was definitely not what you expected. 

Fresh from an immersive bath was a man, not much older than Soonyoung, in his half naked glory. 

"Who on earth are you?" He asked and you froze. 

Frozen because all you wanted to do was to wake up from this horrible nightmare of a day, or you wanted to evaporate there at your very spot from sheer embarrassment. 

Without a word, you immediately closed the door and ran back to the door where the dorm master was looking at you in confusion. 

"This…! This room is clearly occupied! By a man!" You nearly screamed at her, yet still held a bit of your composure. 

You could still see the afterimage of the man in your mind, his dark black hair wet, his toned body only covered by a mere towel. You furiously tried to erase it out of your eye sockets before you sink into the gutter.

"Huh? But the records say this room is occupied by Iris Appleby," she replied in panic, checking her clipboard over and over again. 

In the midst of her checking, the man emerged from the bedroom, now much more appropriate in trousers and a button up. He seemed to be a bit annoyed from the disturbance, you noticed. 

"I assume there must be some problem here," he said coolly, hands in his pockets. 

If anything, you thought the dorm master had seen a ghost from how pale she got just from taking a glimpse of the man. 

"Sir Lee Jihoon! I must apologize for this inconvenience!" She exclaimed tearfully. Her panic had doubled and was now frantically checking the records.

You blinked several times upon hearing the name, and then finally, it clicked a second after. 

The youngest parliament member, huh? 

"I'm sure there was some mistake! We thought this room was occupied by someone else, Sir! And it's the only available room we have!" The dorm master cried, and you grimaced. 

"Alright, madam. Please take a deep breath," you told her, patting her back. "We could check if there are other rooms left, okay?" 

"I already did through the clipboard! We have the dorm rooms monitored by magic tracing, yet in some way, only this room was registered with a wrong name," she replied as her shoulders sagged. 

"I don't mind her as a roommate," the third person involved finally spoke. "The rooms are separated and we only have to share the bath, the kitchen and the common room anyway." 

The dorm master seemed hopeful for that solution as she gave you a questioning look. Lee Jihoon also glanced at you, his sharp eyes seemingly judging. 

It's either here or back at home, huh? There was no way you're going back. 

"As I said earlier, madam, I can sleep anywhere as long as I have a bed and a desk," you replied with a reassuring smile and then gazed at Jihoon. "It's not really as bad as it looks." 

Ecstatic with your answer, the dorm master shouted her massive amount of gratitude and bowed farewell after giving you your keys.

Turning around, you faced Lee Jihoon who had his arms crossed, and an unimpressed look on his face. 

"I'm Y/N! First year History of Magic major! Nice to meet you, my roommate," you cheerfully introduced yourself yet was met with only sheer silence. You narrowed your eyes at him.

"This is the point where you also introduce yourself while shaking my hand and we then go on with the particulars of our own lives, never to interact again except when sharing the kitchen and the bath," you continued, clearly irked. 

He raised his brows at you in amusement. Taking your hand, he shook yours firmly. 

"Lee Jihoon, Magical Law, 2nd year. A pleasure as well," he replied, and then gave the most sarcastic smile you've ever seen, if you've ever seen one, before dropping your hand.

"Let's actively avoid each other from now on," he replied with his back turned. Walking away, Jihoon waved at you and then went towards his own room. 

Alone, the silence was empty. Yet you simply shrugged at the whole event. Having a politician as a roommate was way better than a princess.

Dragging your cart of belongings inside, you went to what you assumed was your room, opposite to Jihoon's. You noticed that the common room consisted of another ornate fireplace, a large gilded table and a high tech kitchen fueled by fire-charged stones. There were also a few pieces of expensive decor which would really suck if you managed to break one. 

The common room was fancy, and your room was, of course, no different. It was a bit bare yet it was already filled with furniture. The canopy bed was at the center; a tall curtained window behind it, as well as a set of chairs just in front of a fireplace. A desk and a few bookshelves was at the far right, near the door. Your closet was a walk-in type, you observed, yet immediately grimaced, knowing you never had that much clothes in the first place. 

Huffing, you sat on a lounge chair at the end of the bed. (It wasn't dusty, thank god.) Yet today was by far the most exhausting day you had. 

Removing the glove on your right hand, you checked if the soulmate marking was really there or just an early morning nightmare of yours. It was still there though, glistening against the midday sunlight from the window. 

It looked innocent that way, just black horizontal bars. Yet its meaning was something you wished did not exist at all.

--!!

All of the sudden, you felt a sharp pang on your head, followed by a sound of static on your ears and a barrage of muddled thoughts in your head. You grabbed a fistful of your hair to at least calm it down a bit yet it was for naught.

A bad migraine, you convince yourself. It was definitely not.

Struggling at the lounge chair for several minutes left you panting and nauseous. There was no solution to this as this was of course the result of you tampering with the connection. You felt like banging your head on the wall because of the pain and because of your own sheer stubbornness, yet that wouldn't really solve anything, will it?

Before you could even contemplate asking your roommate for help, the pain and the overwhelming confusion disappeared and left you in a state of clarity. 

Exhausted, you closed your eyes and sighed.

"I never knew you detest me so much, my dear soulmate." 

Those were definitely not your thoughts.

CHAP 1 | CHAP 2 | CHAP 3 | CHAP 4 | CHAP 5 | CHAP 6 | * A/N: HII! This is Hyeri!! (I deleted my first post ;;w;;) It’s been a long time! Here’s a JIhoon fic to start things up! This, I guess my goal for this is to deconstruct the soulmate au??? Srsly, I’ve been watching a lot of anime reviews...

[higuchimon]

[fanfic] Answers To Unexpected Questions:  chapter 3 [end]

“Juudai!” Yubel knocked him down, wings spread wide, avoiding the battery of crossbow bolts shot through the tent. One of them slammed into the man chained up to a pole, sending him spinning as far as his bonds would allow him.

It wasn’t Johan. Sparkman had been tricked. Either illusion or just making a mistake, which wasn’t that surprising.

It wasn’t a mistake that Juudai or Yubel would’ve made. Both of them knew the difference between Johan and his twin brother Rune on sight alone.

Yubel tried to tell me and I wouldn’t listen.

Juudai had enough time for that alone before he brought himself back to his feet and checked Yubel. The crossbow bolts did nothing at all save force them to step back. Their wings remained spread in front of him.

Ancient Elf stepped into the ruined tent, giving a very disapproving look as he did.

“I truly did not believe you would come for this ruffian,” he said, brushing his coat off as if Juudai’s very presence dirtied him. “Now, his brother, that would’ve been understandable. But why him?”

Juudai wasn’t going to let him know the truth. Instead he just tossed his head.

“You should know that I protect all life. Doesn’t matter who it is.”

“Yes, yes, of course. But this world is going to be destroyed and you will not be able to stop it.”

Juudai drew in a very long and very deep breath. “Could you save your speeches for after I’m dead? I really don’t have the time now.”

Rune was bleeding. Rune was dying, because Juudai’s powers didn’t include healing and Johan’s did, and Johan wasn’t there and they needed to get out as soon as they could.

He made no move at all. He couldn’t find Rune’s shadow, not with all the other light in the room. It had been by great good luck that none of the bolts hit any of the candles or lanterns there and set the tent itself on fire.

Maybe that would’ve been better. There would’ve been shadows there for sure. And the tent would’ve burned down. Maybe all of them would have.

Ancient Elf smiled. It wasn’t the kind of smile that would make other people happy in the slightest.

“If you wish to die, then we can most certainly accommodate you.”

“Not as long as I’m around.” Yubel growled, arms and wings spread to defend Juudai at a moment’s notice. “No harm will come to my Juudai.”

The old sorcerer turned a very disapproving look upon Yubel. “No one asked for your opinion, malformed one. But since you insist upon it as well, we’ve made plans for you.”

Fear coiled itself all around Juudai and he started to back for Rune. Even if he died, Johan wasn’t going to leave him here. Johan would need to know about this. “Yubel, we’re getting out of here.”

“Oh, I think not.” Ancient Elf tsked before raising one finger.

Many things happened at the same time.

A net of glowing green materials dropped down from above, wrapping all around Juudai. No matter how much he strained at it, he could not break it, despite how fragile it looked.

Another bout of crossbow bolts shot, arching over the elf’s head and burying themselves deep into Yubel. Each of them carried a malevolent white sigil written upon them, one Juudai only belatedly recognized as something intended to bind the effects of magic, sealing them off from the user.

Aodh had said that Yubel’s power wasn’t unstoppable. For that matter, neither was Juudai’s. Whatever this web was made out of, Juudai couldn’t so much as get a firm grip on it, let alone get it off of him.

Ancient Elf stepped over and stared down at him, a sadistic tilt to his lips.

“Oh, Herald. You thought it would be so easy, didn’t you? That you would just come in here, rescue this piece of offal, and dance away with your misborn creation before any of us noticed you. We knew you were coming from the beginning. It’s what someone as foolish as you does.”

He nudged Juudai with one foot. Juudai twisted away from it, trying to get hold of Yubel, to do something that wasn’t lay there like a lump.

Yubel lay against the far wide of the tent, a thick dark liquid coming from the half-dozen crossbow bolts still lodged within. Slowly, as if feeling his attention, Yubel opened their eyes and turned toward him.

“Beloved...” Yubel tried to reach for him. Juudai tried to reach back. But warriors in white armor trooped in and one of them wrenched Yubel away, not caring how much more damage was done in the process.

“First we dispose of the misborn. Then we dispose of him,” Ancient Elf decreed. He glanced toward Rune. “Throw that in the deadpile. It can be burned with the others.”

Juudai had time only to see that Rune still breathed, if shallow and unsteadily, before they dragged all three out. Yubel and Juudai were taken to a clearing he’d ignored on the way in, where a white marble altar had been spread out, and the strongest and most skilled of the Army of Light’s warriors awaited them.

The altar had been marked with those sigils that kept Yubel’s power bound, ensuring that there wasn’t anything Yubel could do to protect Juudai or anyone else as they hauled Yubel onto it, wrapping thick chains all around to keep them in place.

They’d bound Juudai tighter with the power-nullifying web, which also carried those marks, he noticed when he had a moment to stop fighting. A full two dozen of them stood guard on him, while Ancient Elf moved over to the altar and Yubel.

“Once you’ve both perished in honor of the Light, your souls will be cleansed by its power, and will nevermore be able to touch the unholy Darkness. Should you return to a mortal form, you will belong to the Light.”

Juudai struggled harder. He knew he wasn’t going to get anywhere, but he didn’t care. As far as he was concerned, if this went through, then he’d be dead forever. Being part of the Light embodied all that he stood against.

Ancient Elf raised a sharp, long-bladed dagger, marked with emblems of the Light. Clearly he wasn’t taking any chances at all.

“In the name of the Light, by the Power of the Light, by the Cleansing of the Light, let you be freed of your misborn form and your foolish vows to the Darkness! Let there be nothing more that binds you, nothing more that keeps you from serving the Light, as all things must!”

He brought the knife down, sharp and deadly and reeking of magic that made Juudai sick.

“I don’t think so.”

A different kind of light filled the clearing, one that Juudai squinted against, but it caused no fear in him. Instead, it drove all fear out, and he found it in himself to hope that this wasn’t the end.

“You!” Ancient Elf spun backwards even as that familiar voice spoke.

Standing on the back of a beautiful winged unicorn stood Johan, in his full power as the incarnate Light of Hope. His arms folded over his chest and he stared down at them like the very wrath of the gods, clad all in armor of white and trimmed in silver.

The rest of his guardians stood near him, a tiger and a great cat, a mammoth and a turtle and an eagle, and on his shoulder, a tiny little squirrel-ish creature that chirruped at the sight of Juudai.

“Johan!”

Johan gave a quick, quiet nod, before gesturing to Amethyst Cat and Topaz Tiger. “Get Rune out of here. I’ll take care of this.”

They didn’t argue, even as Johan turned back to Ancient Elf. “I could ask a lot of questions but I’ll save them for when people aren’t waving knives at my friends. So, let them go.”

He added nothing else. He needed to add nothing else, not with the way the rest of his companions stared down alongside of him.

Ancient Elf moved towards Yubel, knife still in hand. “Of course, of course.” His lip curled in hatred, no matter if he looked at Juudai or Yubel or Johan. “How could we ever disobey you?”

More crossbow bolts, but Emerald Turtle moved in front of them and they clattered harmlessly off of his shell. In the intervening moments, however, Ancient Elf struck down at Yubel, the tip of the blade piercing Yubel’s very center.

Juudai had heard Yubel scream before, but never since becoming his guardian and taking on the form of a dragon. The scream struck into the deepest part of his heart and he could see Yubel’s form shimmering before it shattered altogether, breaking into untold points of light, and then fading away with one last cry.

“Juudai...”

And then Yubel was gone.

Juudai writhed and screamed in rage of his own, rage enough to end the world, and he could see Johan running towards him and he didn’t care, Yubel was gone, destroyed, and it was all his fault, he could blame no one else and wouldn’t have even if he could, if he’d just listened and not rushed off like this, if he’d just so much as waited for a second check…

Yubel was gone.

Yubel was gone and Juudai’s heart bled and power that he’d known he had surged upward, shattering the bonds that held him.

One could hold the Darkness incarnate but only for so long. Darkness always fell and always rose again.

There was a voice that called a name. Then other voices. None of them meant anything to the Darkness.

It rose. The Light was there. It needed to be extinguished.

Yubel needed to be avenged.

The world needed to be saved.

The Darkness reached and all those warriors of the Light fell, screaming, and it was pleasing to the ears of the Darkness.

To the ears of Haou.

He smiled and terror spread among all those who gazed upon him and so would it be.

He would protect that which was his. If that meant to destroy all things, to crush them underneath his heel so that never again would the Light harm them, then so be it. Without Yubel, what did he have?

Juudai. Juudai.

Little more than a whisper on the wind, but it was enough to catch his attention and he turned to where the broken body lay. Standing next to it, transparent as a soap bubble, was… Yubel?

He spoke their name. The world shook at the sound of one word and he heard other voices again, and they still meant nothing at all to him.

I’m … I’m still here. I don’t know what happened. But I’m here.

He tilted his head. Did Yubel wish him to stop, then? He would stop at their will and theirs alone.

No, Juudai. I don’t. Yubel bared their teeth and it was not a smile and he returned it. Destroy it all. Let their folly be known throughout the land. Let the Light know what it threatens and what will happen when it fails.

Haou liked how that sounded. The screaming voices still meant nothing. He turned toward one and tilted his head a bit. The screamer meant nothing but Haou recognized him anyway. He just wasn’t what Haou wanted right now. Nor did he want anyone else to have it.

Hope gave people a promise. The only hope and promise he wanted the people here, the servants of the Light, to know was the chance for a quick death. It was the only promise he would fulfill.

He turned another way to recognize his bodyguards. The ones who weren’t Yubel. They kept on yelling, but nothing they said made any sense to him. Well, no matter. It was time to finish this once and for all anyway.

All the elements lay under his command. Fire rained from the sky with little more than an exercise of will. Water rose up from the river, ten times that of what Bubbleman caused, and the earth underneath their feet rocked and cracked open, sending legion after legion of the Army of Light screaming into the depths.

Winds roared, a tornado touching down in the center of their camp, shredding survivors and tents and all their equipment into useless junk.

“Juudai! Juudai!”

Hope again. Haou flicked a finger and a wave of energy knocked him to the side into one of the few still standing trees. He didn’t move.

Haou moved onward. He had a great deal of work to do and he would like to finish it before sundown.

Pain beyond pain tore into his back, ripping through his armor and sending him crashing to his knees. Haou pulled himself up and around to stare behind himself.

The same blade used to kill Yubel now sank up to the hilt in his own back. Far too close stood Ancient Elf, with another in hand.

“Even if I can’t kill you for the Light, I can still kill you!”

Haou reached for his own last bit of power: he knew what a dying body felt like, and this one was dying. He lashed outward with it, and Ancient Elf was no more, falling backwards with a twisted smirk in the last moments.

Juudai sank back down to his knees, stumbling even then, falling forward. One hand reached for Yubel. The other, for Johan. He spared one breath for the Elemental Heroes, even as he could feel the last of his life fading away.

“I’m sorry.”

He didn’t know who he spoke to, but he meant it to all of them.

All my fault...

Juudai sat up, panting, before he wrenched around and threw himself into Yubel’s arms, holding onto them as if they would vanish if he let go for a single moment. His heart raced, tears spilled down his cheeks, and he whispered two words over and over again.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

Yubel wrapped their arms even more tightly around him. “It wasn’t your fault, Juudai.”

“Yes, it was! Just like last time! This time! I’m always too stupid and I never listen and people get hurt because of it! First you and I … I … did I… Johan? Then? Did I...” Juudai didn’t know how much sense he made, but it must’ve been enough for Yubel.

“No. He survived and helped put Kuragari back together again after that.” Yubel tilted Juudai’s head up. “He made a very good King after Aodh and Kaien passed away.”

Juudai swallowed. Somehow, that didn’t surprise him at all. Then he blinked. “How do you know?” He hadn’t known that. He hadn’t been around to see it.

“Because I wasn’t dead. I didn’t know then what was going on. But because of what Ancient Elf did, I haven’t had a physical body since then. I can mimic one now, especially since you and I fused and I’ve learned more about the power I have. It took me over a century to learn just how to communicate with other people.” Yubel’s lip curled for a moment. “Not that I wanted to communicate with anyone but you.”

Juudai nodded, holding onto Yubel still. No matter what they said, he wasn’t going to absolve himself so easily. Then he lifted his head up and turned to where the Elemental Heroes stood.

“You all knew, didn’t you? About me? And about what I did back then?”

Featherman spoke. “Of course we did. We’ve been by your side almost as long as Yubel has. But why would we blame you for something that you did when you were pushed beyond coherent rage?”

“And why do you think that Elemental Heroes can take on so many different fusion forms in the first place?” Sparkman asked. “We resonate to you as much as the Neo-Spacians do, Juudai. Our fusions reflect what’s in your heart. That means we understand what it can be like when things like that happen. And like what happened in Dark World.”

“You don’t need to be afraid of your power or what you can do with it. Control is all you need, and you’ve been working on that,” Burst Lady told him. “You’re much better about it, too.”

Juudai eased back down into Yubel’s arms. “I don’t deserve all of you.” Nor did he deserve Johan, who’d risked so much to try to help him even when Juudai wouldn’t listen to him.

“So, you were different because...”

“Because after a few thousand years of not having a proper body, of not being with you at all, and what Ancient Elf did severing my connection to you in the first place, I… wasn’t entirely sane at the time, even before the Light itself got hold of me.” Yubel’s fingers tightened for a heartbeat. “I think this time it intended that I make certain you couldn’t fight back against it, instead of trying to take us both out at the same time.”

Juudai shuddered at how close the plan had come to working, both times. If it hadn’t been for Johan’s arrival, then they both would’ve been sacrificed to the Light. And this time, if it hadn’t been for him getting his memories back…

“I really should do something nice for Johan,” he murmured, starting to feel weary all over again. That had not been a restful nap.

Then he recalled Rune, and realized that he’d seen him before: in this lifetime.

“Yubel… that guy in Dark World. The one that I met before I fought Zure.” He winced at the thought of all else that happened then, before forging onward. “That was Rune, wasn’t it? The guy who was Johan’s twin the first time.”

“And still is now. He’s in Dark World somewhere, I presume. That’s where I sent him, anyway.”

Juudai whipped his head around to stare at her again. “You saved him?”

“I saved everyone you cared about. You cared about him, even for those few moments, didn’t you?”

He could not say he didn’t. He hadn’t thought of it at the time, but perhaps some vague memory recalled Johan’s twin brother. Then he sat up even more.

“Come on. I’m going to find him and he and Johan are going to get a family reunion!”

He stood up, all weariness falling away, and reached for Yubel’s hand. Then he leaned up and forwards to kiss her. “I really am sorry.” He would spend all of time making it up to Yubel if he had to. And to Johan as well.

Yubel returned the kiss, with interest. “You’re forgiven.” As simple as two words and his heart sang for joy, and he carried them away into the shadows to find a brother.

The End

Notes: And that's it. Though there will be other tales that involve Juudai and Yubel and Johan and maybe Rune.

[marta-bee]

Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary

Sherlockians, I want to talk about Mary. Or not about Mary the character, because enough words have been spent on that topic and I’m nowhere near brave enough to wade into that one on a snowy Sunday afternoon, but rather on the way we as readers can (perhaps should) relate to her. At some level what follows is about this Tumblr post, where an anonymous commenter asked for “any fics where Mary’s not the bad guy” and noticed that a lot of the evil-Mary fanworks “gets a bit misogynistic in my opinion”; but I’m also using that as something of a springboard, and don’t mean this as a direct reply to that post. (Which is why I’m not replying in a reblog; please everyone go check out that post and comment on it as well.)

Anyway, let me start with two basic points that I hope are pretty noncontroversial.

Mary is an antagonist, at least some of the time.

Mary has at least some aspects of her character that are bad-making (more on what I mean by “bad-making” in a moment), or at least would be if she were a real person.

The devil’s in the details here, as it is with most things worth talking about, so let’s unpack that a bit.

(Long post is long, and so continued under the cut.)

When I say someone’s an antagonist, I’m not really making a value-judgment. I’m purposefully avoiding that word, “villain,” which calls to mind “villainous” as a description of their personality and character. An antagonist is just someone who plot-wise stands in opposition to the character. They’re wrapped up in the conflict our hero has to overcome.

Let’s take a pretty straightforward (and unrelated to our fandom, so hopefully less emotionally charged for a lot of us) example: the first “Hunger Games” book. Katniss is thrown into a gladiatorial fight to the death with twenty-three other teenagers. With the exception of Rue and (later in the games) Peeta, everyone else is an antagonist in relation to Katniss. She has to hope for their death and be prepared to kill them because their continued existence stands in the way of her surviving the games. Most are reduced to numbers with s knowing precious little about them – certainly not enough to think they deserve death. But they’re still antagonists because they’re obstacles the hero has to work past if she hopes to succeed.

Or take Draco Malfoy, in the early Harry Potter books. He’s a thoroughly unpleasant boy, spoiled and sniveling certainly, but I’d be hard-pressed to call him bad. His biggest defining characteristic is he stands up and tries to fight Harry; but often as not this comes down to inter-house squabbling and the only reason he and Harry are on opposite sides is how they were sorted. As we learn, given the way he was raised and the political situation he was raised in, it’s actually pretty admirable how on the periphery of the Death Eaters he stays. But he’s still the antagonist, he’s the one Harry has to outsmart or outperform or otherwise get around.

It's only natural we cheer when the antagonists fail. We’re primed to identify with the protagonist, after all, and their failure means the protagonist gets to win. Even if objectively know the antagonist doesn’t actually deserve to fail, well. That’s just kind of how stories work.

Getting back to Sherlock, I said it’s pretty noncontroversial that Mary’s an antagonist. So when I say that I don’t mean she’s evil, or even that she’s only an antagonist. But the woman shoots our star character in the chest. It’s her secrets and her very presence that drive Sherlock into exile (and drive Sherlock and John apart) for a second time, undoing whatever victory  Sherlock achieved when he defeated Moriarty’s web. She’s certainly a problem to be addressed and worked past in HLV. In terms of canon and parallels with the Doyle stories, there’s quite a lot about her actions (particular in Leinster Gardens) that all but screams “Sebastian Moran.” Ergo: antagonist.

There’s also a quieter, more ordinary sense that I suspect will be more controversial but is worth talking about anyway. Like a lot of Sherlockians and Johnlockers, I’m a big fan of making space for John/Mary/Sherlock in happy OT3 land. I think Sherlock and John at least want some version of that in canon; maybe not romantically, but they like to imagine their being room in their lives for these different relationships to not be in conflict. But in BBC-canon that hope’s not really borne out. This deserves a full meta on its own, but briefly: when Mary observes that neither she nor Sherlock were “the first” (talking about Sholto), she situates them in competition for the same position in John’s life, rather than in distinct, complementary ones (which an OT3 seems to require); and when Sherlock notes at the end of TSOT episode that “we can’t all three dance,” he seems to come to a similar conclusion. I do love me some good Johnlockary fic, but I don’t think this is where the show was heading

At a more basic level, I’d actually argue it almost has to be this way with these three- at least if we’re to hold on to John and Sherlock being “the two of us against the world.” In the 1800s men and women had such different roles in society, a man would do very different things and relate in very different ways to his close (male) friends than he would to his (female) wife. So Watson could run off with Holmes and have adventure, then return home to Mary for the peaceful, even loving family life, without one really being in tension with the other. But by the twenty-first century those spheres aren’t nearly so different. Even if you don’t imagine them as lovers, it’s hard not to imagine a self-respecting woman today saying as Mary did in TAB, “I don’t mind you going; I mind you leaving me behind.” One of the biggest challenges for a modern Holmes adaptation (or indeed, for a modern consumer of the original Doyle stories) is how to balance Holmes’ and Watson’s private “intimate partnership” – however we understand that term – against (John) Watson’s marriage to Mary with all we moderns expect of that relationship in terms of emotional fidelity, equal partnership, shared future, etc.

Put more simply: Mary should throw a monkey-wrench in the mix; she should be something that must be accounted for and whose presence should affect how Holmes and Watson can interact. Not to mean her presence is incompatible with Holmes and Watson’s close and exclusive relationship, but at a minimum she’s a factor in need of an explanation. She can’t help but be antagonistic, at least to some interpretations of Holmes’s and (John) Watson’s relationship.

As I said, with antagonists, it’s only natural to cheer for the protagonists, which almost inevitably means rooting for the protagonists’ failure. At least we root for them being de-antagonized, converted into some other relationship to the main character. But if you’ve spent any time on AO3, you’ve probably come across fanfic focusing on the antagonists (*cough* Loki *cough**cough* Drary *hacks up a longue* Silm-fandom-this-one’s-for-you *cough*’s). We can be a thirsty bunch when it comes to our antagonists, for characters we by all rights should be primed to hate. And even at the level of primary-canon, one of the biggest ways the primary creator shows their emotional growth is by realizing their antagonists aren’t truly their enemy. Like most readers I had a tear in my eye as Cato suffered through the night, begging for death; and certainly I would have been outraged if Harry hadn’t saved Draco from the Room of Requirements in “Deathly Hallows.” Gollum’s treachery is explained and he is given his own completion; Darth Vader is spared by Luke and allowed to look on his son with his own eyes; and the Klingons, Cardassians, and Borg are given their own sort of redemption in Worf, Garak, and Seven of Nine.

All of which is to say: it’s understandable, even natural, why people would have a hard time rooting for the antagonist, but there’s a long history of fandom peoples steering into the curve on this one. So it’s also understandable, even natural, that people want to hear stories with them at the center, both new stories about them and also versions of the original canon narrative that don’t need them to wear the black hat all the time. Some folks want Mary, Sherlock, and John to all go crime-solving together. I personally think there’s sometimes a danger of turning an antagonist – especially one who is at least morally gray (and I promise we’re getting there) like Mary is – into a protagonist without wrestling with what turned them into an antagonist in the first place; so if you want to bring Mary back to the side of John and Sherlock you need to grapple with what pushed them into opposing roles in the first place, or else risk your plot feeling “cheap” and unearned. (In fairness, this warning could as easily be directed to Mofftiss as anyone in fandom!)

But at an absolute minimum, I think it’s pretty obvious that lots of fans want to imagine the antagonists as at the heart of their own stories, and lots of fan-creators have done a really good job of providing those stories. Just as a lot of fans will almost instinctively be drawn to hate them, well, if you want to go a different path you’re in good company.

Enough about protagonist/antagonist, which as I said is more about the role the character fills in the story than about their morality or character. This, for me at least, is where it really gets interesting.

Before we get started, though, I know a lot of people struggle against this idea of morality when it applies to fictional characters and fictional stories. They’ll point out (rightly) that just because they enjoy a non-con PWP doesn’t mean they approve of rape in real life; that their reading preferences come from a different place entirely than their moral judgments. But at the same time, a lot of people (equally rightly) struggle to enjoy stories that glorify things we don’t consider worth glorifying. It’s one thing to enjoy a story about Draco rejecting the Death Eaters, returning to mainstream wizarding society and joining the Aurors; quite another to imagine him dating Harry while he’s still walking around calling Hermione a mudblood.

Or getting back to the Sherlock fandom, a lot of people are most comfortable with stories with Mary’s the antagonist because she’s got a character history and just personality traits where, if we met someone like her in real-life, we’d consider her morally bad. Or on the flip slide, those fans who want a not-evil!Mary in their stories often like to imagine her as the kind of person we’d describe as good or redeemed or some such thing, if she were an actual person. Mary’s morality, at least the morality of a similar person operating in the real world (because --speaking as a former philosophy Ph.D. student who taught philosophical ethics for years-- let me tell you: talking about the morality of fictional constructs gets very messy, very quickly), seems to matter to a great number of fans. So let’s talk about that.

I said above I thought most people would agree, Mary had parts o her character that were bad-making. What I mean is there are aspects about her that tend to make a person bad, unless they’re explained by some other factor. I’ve got in mind something vaguely similar to W.D. Ross’s theories of prima facie duties (if any of you studied this in your Ethics 101 courses- you would have in mine). Basically, the idea is we have all these duties that apply to us, but they can seem to conflict, and we may decide (rightly) in any given situation that one or the other is the more important one for us to follow. The classic example is the duty to keep our promises and prevent suffering when we can. You can imagine situations where you can’t do both- for instance, if I promised to meet you for lunch and on my way to the restaurant came across a man who fell into a ditch and twisted his ankle along a deserted road, where it’s unlikely someone else would come upon him. If I stop to help him I’ll miss our lunch date and break my promise; and while I still have a duty to keep that promise, I think most people would agree it’s more important to stop and help the person. We’d all be hard-pressed to say if I helped the stranger, I’d failed at my duty to keep a promise; at least not in the same way as if I could have kept that promise and just chose not to. That’s Ross’s idea of prima facie duties: that we have all these general obligations on us, but which actually should govern our choices in any particular instance comes down to the details of that situation.

I think there’s something similar going on with Mary’s character. This is actually a good way to evaluate most of us morally, in my opinion, but it’s doubly useful when it comes to Mary because she’s simultaneously got so many troubling aspects about her that just demand some sort of justification, but at the same time, because Mofftiss really screwed the pooch here, we don’t really have the information we need to give a definitive answer. So it’s useful to say: here’s something about Mary that needs accounting for, even if we don’t have enough information to evaluate her definitively.

Let’s take Magnussen’s biggest accusation against her: “All those wet jobs.” Mary killed people on her own prerogative, and she left behind a lot of grieving relatives who would love their revenge – both a testament to the suffering she caused, and a real risk for John, the baby that will become Rosie, and everyone else in their orbit. But if that’s all there is to it, it’s not wholly dissimilar to John’s decision to shoot the cabbie. It may have been different, but we don’t have the information to know that; it feels different, but most because John was saving Sherlock (who we know), whereas if Mary was saving anyone, it’s not someone we the viewer have an emotional connection to. Still, to borrow a phrase from Ricky Ricardo, Mary, you’ve got some ‘splainin’ to do.

Or to take an even more serious charge, Mary shot Sherlock, was prepared to make John watch him die all over again and force him to go through that grief that so nearly destroyed him the first time around. Unforgiveable, yeah? The best shot at justification here is that Mary had somehow got herself cornered, so that shooting Sherlock was somehow an attempt to escape an even worse sitation. This really demands a full meta to dive in to, but very briefly, I think Mary never intended to kill Magnussen and was instead trying to intimidate him; meaning she couldn’t let Sherlock undercut her power, but equally she couldn’t leave Magnussen with the impression that John and Sherlock were somehow her partners; so shooting Sherlock was the best way to keep him from becoming a full target of Magnussen’s. If that’s the case, the whole showdown in Magnussen’s office becomes markedly similar to Sherlock’s decision to “kill” himself on the roof of St. Bart’s. Mary is willing to cause a lot of pain to avoid even greater destruction, but at the same time, the whole situation that compels this choice was fed by her limiting her options when she decided to intimidate Magnussen. Similar to how Sherlock, once he’s on the roof of St. Bart’s, has no better option than to fake his own death and leave John to grieve; but how he does have some degree of culpability for engaging Moriarty in the first place and egging on Moriarty’s destructive obsession with Sherlock.

My point isn’t that any of these parallels really hold up to scrutiny. Sherlock risked his own life in TRF (and John’s pain) while Mary was prepared to kill another. John was ready to kill “a bad man” to save our hero while whatever murders Mary committed were against unnamed people in undetermined circumstances, and narratively certainly don’t pull at or heart strings in the same way John’s heroic killing of Jefferson Hope does. But the point is, with Mary, so much of what a lot of fans object to involve these vaguely-told stories where whatever factors would excuse her actions just are left untold. What we can say definitively is “all those wet jobs” require justification. Mary’s willingness to shoot Sherlock require justification. These things are prima facie wrong (or bad-making, the kind of things that tend to make something bad in the absence of other explanations) and demand an accounting for.

I’m focusing on Mary’s violence more than what a lot of fans have identified as her abuse toward John. Partly, this is personal: I have my own experience with abusive relationships and don’t entirely trust my ability to parse similar dynamics in fiction; certainly I don’t want to tie that part of my past to public debate, and I’ve not worked out how to talk about Mary and John without over-personalizing it. But I will say, there’s a lot to be considered on that front as well, and people interested in thinking through Mary’s im/morality shouldn’t ignore it. As a starting point, inevity-johnlocked pointed to several of her old posts making the case that Mary was an emotional abuser. silentauroriamthereal’s fic “Rebuilding Rome” looks at a lot of these issues in a really powerful way if you’re looking for an exploration in fic form. I’ll just add, even if I thought Mary was justified and so “good” in some sense (and my internal compass is so screwed up, I’m not really qualified to tell at this point), the way she chose or had to lie about her past to John seems a particularly bad match for a man like him with his trust issues. So even if you think Mary is good, there’s a lot of justification for saying she’s still not good for him.

So what does this mean for reading fics involving a kinder, gentler Mary? First, I’d emphasize there’s no shame or judgment in reading what you want. Much as writers may choose to write about all kinds of things they’d disapprove of in real life, readers have that same freedom to scratch whatever readerly itch they like, with no need to defend that to anyone else. Kinktomato and all that. On the other hand, I know I personally enjoy stories more when I can lose myself in them, and – again, for me personally – it helps me do that if my values are at least compatible with what’s presented as praiseworthy. I don’t have to guard myself as I enter the story. So it’s definitely worth thinking about how comfortable you are with fiction that vilifies Mary or pardons her or something in between, because it may make it easier or harder to really immerse yourself in a fic.

Then again, maybe that’s just me. I am a rather persnickety chickadee with things like this.

I do know that many fandoms have an unfortunate history of coming down hard on the female competition to a popular slash ship. While I’m reluctant to apply “should”s to our consumption of fiction, I think there are genuine feminist concerns here. Not with thinking Mary’s bad/evil or even hating her, but hating her for the wrong. For me, it helps to imagine another character doing something similar, and think about why I would react differently if it was someone other than Mary doing the deed. Also to be aware of the details canon doesn’t answer decisively or answers different ways in different episodes.

(More than most characters, Mary does suffer from a really inconsistent characterization. I’ve often wondered if everything since HLV was Sherlock or whomever trying on different frameworks for her personality/psychology/what-have-you, to see which could account for what she did to him. First she’s a badass villain, then a Mycroftian operative, then a martyr, then a worldclass manipulator, and finally a sanctifier whose own personality was irrelevant, giving her imprimatur from beyond the grave. And that’s without throwing veteran/maths genius and happy homemaker into the bunch. Maybe the showrunners simply weren’t sure what they wanted to do with her. Whatever the situation, I do think we need to be careful about taking any one canon detail at face-value, especially with her.)

I’m also a little discomfited by this trend I’ve seen among Johnlockers, to write Mary as a monster as a way to lessen John’s pain at her… betrayal, I guess? Or just the loss at her death? I remember when a lot of fanfic authors back between S3 & S4 wrote about the baby being fake; or even after S4, as part of John’s “alibi” rather than a true detail. Or even just deciding the baby was David’s or some such. By itself, that could have been really interesting, but what I saw so often happening was people used that as a way to remove the complication of the baby. Or to let John skip the grief he’d feel if the baby wasn’t born healthy- for instance, if it didn’t exist, or died, or if Mary was killed or ran while she was still pregnant. The basic theme was if Mary didn’t deserve John’s pain, John didn’t have to hurt for so long or as deeply.

Complicated grief is a thing, though, and for a lot of people, grieving the loss of someone who hurt them and aren’t “worth” their pain seem to suffer worse and for longer, particularly if they also have to grieve the lost opportunity to make their peace with the person while they were alive. This doesn’t mean fanfic writers or readers have to give us some kind of sanitized Mary; certainly she has the potential to be a true east wind of a character. But I do think there’s a tendency to prefer a more evil Mary because this lets the story move past her or spares John some suffering often won’t feel true. It also runs the risk of disrespecting the suffering of people impacted by these kinds of losses. So while I think this kind of characterization can be really interesting and compelling, it also takes a lot of skill and thoughtfulness to do it well. Here be dragons.

For me, though, the point isn’t to be proscriptive, to say Sherlock fic writers and readers need to limit themselves to a particular read of Mary. Her character has such potential to give birth to such a wide range of fic. As a viewer of the show I wish the writers and other creators had given us more of a sense of who she was because I think it really contributes to my frustration with not understanding the story they were trying to tell. But as a (kinda-sorta-someday-once-again) fic writer, it’s a true embarrassment of riches. The trick, for those of us concerned about Mary’s ethics were she a real person, is to be aware of the dangers of reading her character certain ways and to be cautious around them if we want to play with those interpretations.