#which whips ass supremely

[mrtheinsatiable]

Starting to realize I've been unnecessarily resistant to a lot of ideas because I was just looking at them from an angle I didn't like

The idea of a "purpose driven life" is one of those things. The whole "I was Created for a Purpose" thing didn't vibe with me and also kind of pissed me off and that was pretty much the only context I had for the idea for a long time. And even the more secular version where I create my own purpose didn't work either because I've never felt like I had any particular calling or thing I Have to Do. It also feels dehumanizing to think of it that way, to a certain extent, to have a specific purpose or use like a tool or an object.

But actually a purpose driven life doesn't have to mean Having a Purpose it can just be "doing things on purpose." Life becomes a lot easier and also more fulfilling when you act with intent instead of just letting yourself loose in the day. It's hard to get your shit together when you're winging every second. A sense of purpose doesn't actually need to be deeper than that, I think, to positively influence your life

[romanreignseater]

Mr. WrestleMania

Roman Reigns x Reader

Rating: 18+

Warning: Smut, smut and more smut. A little honorable mention fluff; but very brief

“After a flawless victory at his 3rd Main Event at WrestleMania, your Tribal Chief deserved three special treats.”

A/N: Had to write this in honor of our Tribal Chief retaining last night, I was real nervous, and was even setting myself up for failure. But, I’LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN 😭!!

GIF: @doinggreat

“Acknowledge me.” His wispy voice brought chills to your body.

“Cut! Great job baby.”

“Thank you babe, don’t forget to post that.”

Here he was, your husband, Roman Reigns. Still reigning supreme and he’s just getting started.

Whether or not people are upset Roman won, you’ll always and forever be proud of him.

Kudos to the white knight, but it wasn’t his time. “You already know how I do mama.” His hands grip your waist and a chaste kiss was placed upon your lips. Your smile as bright as ever and his eyes lighting up at your beauty.

“My Tribal Chief?” The voice of the wiseman interrupted your serene moment with your man. “Yes wiseman?”

“The Escalade is ready for you and Y/N to take you back to the hotel.” “Thanks wiseman! Now… vanish.” Your arms wrapped tightly around Roman’s right bicep. “Of course.” And with that, the wiseman was left scurrying.

“Why do you have to be so nasty to him?” Roman laughed as he witnessed you verbally abuse his special counsel. “I’m not nasty with him, but I wanna be nasty to you.” Your hands grip the neck of his shirt and your face centimeters away from his.

“Ohhh, that’s how you feel?!” Your Tribal Chief couldn’t contain his desire for your dominance.

“That’s exactly how I feel.” You said almost immediately.

His brow arched into a questioning look. “And exactly how are you gonna do that?!” A gasp slid passed your lips as he roughly pulled you in by your hips, so there was no space between you. His large hands quickly travelled down to your plump ass, which was waiting to be grasped.

His hands squeezed and released your supple cheeks as you looked him up in his eyes and bit your lip. “You haven’t answered me mama?!” Your eyes began searching his as his hands still worked their magic…

“You are an icon, you are a Hall of Famer, you are the one, and you ARE the Greatest. Of. All. Time, and that’s why you deserve to fuck my throat tonight.” Roman’s couldn’t contain his smile. By god, did he love a woman who can hype him on his accomplishments and speak so dirty to him at the same damn time.

“Reallyyyyy?! Anything else?” Your smile couldn’t contain itself either. “Why, of course there is. What kind of woman would I be if I didn’t give you a proper way to celebrate tonight’s victory?”

“So… Mrs. Reigns, in what other ways are you gonna treat me?!” Both of your smirks seemed to never falter from each others face. “Well Mr. WrestleMania… I know you love how much I taste, so I was planning for you eat my cunt with a little strawberries and whipped cream.”

Roman grunted at the thought of having you spread open with whipped cream sprawled all over your sweet cunt.

His voice became deeper and huskier, “What else?”

“What else?! Baby, you already know how I get down when I’m treating you.” You smiled.

You took care of Roman very well, at home, all over the world, and especially in the bedroom, or floor, or kitchen counter, or the living room couch. It doesn’t matter where, you knew how to please your man and make him feel like the king he already is.

You went on your tippy toes to reach his ear. “And I’m gonna ride that dick. All. The. Way. Back. Home.” You fell back on your feet to look him in his eyes and gauge his reaction. “Thanks.” His random vow of appreciation to you stumped your mind, you were confused as to what he was thanking you for.

“Ummm, for what baby?!”

“For being here for me throughout this entire journey, being by my side, and uplifting me all the way.” He walked away from you and towards the chair where his belts laid.

“This is for you, and all the work you do. And before I beat the brakes off that pussy up in that hotel room tonight, I just needed to let you know how much you mean to me and you’ve made me into the man I am today. Without no Y/N, there would be no Roman Reigns or Joe Anoa’i, and I wouldn’t be operating at this level without you, so thanks mama.”

Your eyes became misty thinking about how far he’s come and the absolute success and power he has earned. “You’re welcome baby, I really appreciate that!”

You both smiled at one another, but his faded quickly. He stepped up to as you back away, you backed away so far you hit the wall.

“I meant what I said when I’m gonna beat the brakes off of my pussy.” You gulped what felt like your last breath. As he left you breathless, he grabbed bag for you and headed toward the door.

“Shall we, my queen?”

You looked as his inviting bent arm, and nodded.

~~~~

Later on, you both arrived at the hotel after a long, hot, and steamy make out session in the back of the Escalade.

Thank god there was a curtain separating you guys from the driver.

On the 50th floor, you and your man took a shower together. Washing each others bodies, and groping one another.

But now, Roman’s ass was pressed against the bathroom counter, and you were on your knees.

You looked up at your Tribal Chief as you stroked his member and cupped his balls. “Couldn’t wait to get me up here, huh?!” Your smile couldn’t leave your face as you reminisce on the utter urgency you felt on pleasuring your man and rushing him up to the room. The elevator felt like it wasn’t going anywhere.

But soon, your smile faltered, your eyes darken, and your ministrations on his cock begin to quicken. His puffy, pink lips trapped between his pearly, white teeth as he watched you abused his cock.

Roman hissed as you roughly rubbed your thumb against his tip. “You like that daddy?!” Who am I kidding, I know you do.” Your voice set into a sultry tone wanting to seduce him as much as possible.

Your lips soon engulf the head of his dick and began suckling his sweet, fat tip. Roman’s eyes rolled to back of his head as he indulged in the savory feeling of you pleasuring him.

“Oh my god… do that shit baby girl, do that shiiitt.” His tongue passed over his top lip, and he placed his right hand on your head to fasten your movements.

You bobbed you head back and forth, as you knew the throat fucking was starting to begin.

You relaxed your throat, sat on your shins, and placed your hands on Roman’s thick thighs. Roman ceased his lean against bathroom counter and stood up straight.

“You ready baby?!” You sent for a go with a thumbs up. You felt dizzy as Roman’s huge hands were clasped against both sides of your head. Your tongue laid flat against the underside of his cock and your mouth agape.

Roman began pumping his cock in and out of your wet mouth tenderly. Your eyes hung low as you watched the sly expression on his face. “Watch my cock fuck your throat mama.” Already naked from taking a shower together, your pussy wet, and leaking onto the ground.

Your eyes transversed from his eyes to the tanned dick pumping in and out of your mouth. Roman’s left hand clamped the back of your head making a makeshift ponytail, and his right cupped underneath your chin. The inside of his thighs hit your cheeks as he brutally slammed his cock into your mouth.

You gagged, your saliva coating the entirety of his member. Your red painted nails pressed into his thighs as he held a stalemate in your throat. His eyes now set on your hands, waiting for the signal. But, your eyes deep and filled with lust, you let his cock stay still in your throat.

“F-uuuckkkk, you’re gonna let me stay in that throat baby?” Shit, he could live in there for all you care. Roman pulled his cock out of your mouth, and your hand rubbed your pussy. Collecting all of your essence, you then smear your juices all over his dick. His chest rising up and down as you sucked the head of his cock hard. He was quick to make you stand up, and pushed you towards the door.

You crawled on the bed sensually with your back arched, and your ass propped up. You quickly maneuvered to your back and spread your legs open. Your honey essence covering the expansion of your spread thighs.

“Fuckkkk, that pussy real wet for me huh?!” Your eyes shifted immediately to the strawberries and whipped room service left on the nightstand. Roman’s eyes followed and flew to the berries and cream. (I’m a little lad who loves berries and cream; I couldn’t help it 😭).

A plump, red strawberry was vastly put up against your lips. And as you opened your lips, you darted your tongue out to sensually grasp the sweet fruit. The juices burst into a flavorful explosion inside of your mouth. The whipped cream canister was shook by the Tribal Chief as he lowered his head to your cunt.

“I ain’t even have dinner yet baby, but I’m skipping straight to dessert.”

The noisy canister explodes whipped cream around your cunt, and a dollop on your clit. The can was throw across the room, and the menace immediately licked up the cream around your pussy. His tongue pointed out, scoped the cream on your clit; just narrowly hitting your sensitive spot.

His lips wrapped around his cunt ever so delightfully, and his abuse began. He lapped up your juices from your flowing center and sucked it up. “Mmmmmm.” Your lips pressed together as you revel in the pleasure. Roman continued his ministrations; continually lapping up your sweet nectar.

“Oh my god, don’t stop dadd-…” Just as you were mid sentence, Roman licked a bold stripe from your hole up to your heated clit. Your body shivered living in the sensation. “Who said I was gonna stop baby?!” His mouth enclosed your pussy as he spoke those words.

He kept licking and licking and licking your sensitive, pulsing clit. “Hol-yyyy shittt, right there, *grunt*, right FUCKING there!” Your legs quaked as your climax took over you. As you were catching your breath, the Tribal Chief stole it with a heavy kiss. The dizzy feeling in your head didn’t prolong when Roman soon dragged your legs to the edge of the bed.

He spread them all the way open, almost ready to dive in again. But, you stopped him.

“Baby… I told you I was gonna ride yo ass all the way back home, and I meant what I said.” His hands lifted up in surrender and marched his way to the middle of the large hotel bed.

Your thighs encased each side of his and you lowered yourself onto his cock. You both moaned as you ease his length into your throbbing cunt. “I’m gonna take you there baby.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

Taking his words as a threat you began pounding onto your man’s lap, taking his dick real good. As you rode him, you made sure to squeeze his dick with your pussy to increase the pleasure and pressure. You pushed him to lay flat on the bed and kept your hands on his burly chest. You rode him faster and faster; his teeth clenched together enjoying the moment of ecstasy.

“Mmmmm, ride that fuckin’ dick mama.” You wrapped your arms around his neck and slammed yourself continuously on his member. Roman grabbed two handfuls of your ass and guided your rough fucking session. Your moans booming through the room and the wet slapping sounds clouded the air. Roman’s eyes hit the back of his head as he reached his high.

His cum filled up your entire pussy as you released as well. You got off of Roman and cuddled up to his side. “That was exactly what I needed after today.” You caressed his beard and stared at him lovingly. “It’s what you deserve.”

Your smiles heavy as you both drifted off to sleep in each others arms.

Then. Now. Forever. Together

THE END!!

MY TAG SQUAD: @cyberdejos2 @thesamoanqueen @alyanarossi @nayys-world @mzv11 @babybatlover @vogueyonce

[marwhoa]

request: @t3rnished ; like I don't know if you know this, there's this spinoff called attack on Titan Junior High, it's based off the actual anime jsjsjs and there's these two characters one who always says " After this why don't we just get married? " like after every inconvenience -- so I was wondering how the rise turtles would react over a doting reader who always says that?? Likw they're also super protective!! There are some clips on youtube!!

🝮 “ wedding bells ”

platonic!rise boys x y/n

author’s note: phew, it’s been a while, did y’all miss me? yes? no? okay, well, here i am with a request someone made a whiiiiile ago but it was in my convos so i forgot about it til now 😭 i’m so sorry bb, i hope you like it 😔 i didn’t watch the show but i hope this comes off close? yes? no? okay, bye bye, luv you !!!

word count: 2.2k

How fitting is it that your first meeting with the brothers could have been described as a knight in shining armor? At any other point it would have been them as the saviors, but when you’re caught off guard, you tend to be left in a pinch.

Which is where four particular brothers found themselves when a duo of jellyfish mutants crashed what should have been a regular, totally normal picnic. They should’ve been in their A-Game, a battle that was supposed to be a walk in the park, until a barrage of electric tentacles whipped them all straight on their ass.

“ C’mon, we save the world and this is the thanks we get! ”

Groaned the brother in blue, rocking on the ground as he held the stinging of his abdomen tightly.

“ Do you believe in white flags? ”

Whimpered the brother in orange as he waved a little white flag with eyes shut tight in pain.

The fishy duo scoffed, going on about some mess about mutants league that was hellbent on blaming these four for their plights as “ humans whose lives were ruined ”, before pulling back what would have been a mean hit seizing their victory!

Emphasis on “ would ”, because just as the exhausted four accepted defeat, a knight appeared on the scene with a battle cry and a swinging bag!

“ AAAAAH!! ”

You yelled in panic, swatting the tendrils away with a wimpy squeak each time contact singed your bag. Your shaking legs and chattering teeth were ignored as the battle came to a standstill, both sides simply gawking as a metaphorical tumbleweed passed by. You sucked in an inhale, gritting your teeth and tightening your grip as you glared down the duo.

“ UH—UM! WELL… Stop! ”

You jabbed your finger in their direction then shooing them away.

“ Oh? ”

One of the villainous brothers cooed, taking a step forward as he recovered from the surprise.

“ You’re meddling in matters you don’t quite get, so do us all a favor and SCRAM! ”

Electricity jolted menacingly as he thrusted a tentacle towards you. You prepared to swing that mighty bag of yours once more before a flash of red apparated before you, blocking the attack altogether. The boys behind you all jumped to their feet, shrugging off their fatigue and assuming positions with a newfound strength.

The largest one, clad in red, turned to flash you a toothy grin and a thanks, but all you could do was stare wide-eyed. There was one sentence hanging on your tongue, slipping out without even a chance of censorship.

“ Marry me. ”

He turned to fight back the villainous jellies, only to trip and faceplants instantly, turning to you with a bewildered, flustered look?!

“ Say what now!? ”

Obviously, as every other encounter ends, the brothers reigned supreme over the mutant jellyfish brothers, but you became a constant in their everyday lives. By the grace of the gods or by misfortune, you would somehow always end up appearing where a villain was. Be it out of breath, as though you seeked danger out, or by surprise as you stepped out of whatever little shop you turned up at, there was something the brothers could always count on, and it was you.

Or well, your little quips.

See, they were almost as bad as Leo’s, if not for the charming execution and your charismatic nature. No matter how bad the scenes got, once everyone pulled through, they could all count on you breaking the silence with a snarky, completely out of breath,

“ That was—hah, haaaah— one, phew, that was a doozy! Why don’t we just get married and out this all behind us? ”

Followed by a little thumbs up as you laid flat on the aftermath debris. Collective groans escaped the team, followed by Leo shouting, “ Donnie! Did you get that one? ” You couldn’t help but laugh, exhaustedly hoisting your aching body up to see the purple projection tallying up just how many times you’d ended a fight with a similar comment.

“ That makes the 57th time you’ve said this, Y/N. Do I hear the wedding bells already? ”

Leo grinned, cross-legged with his head planted against his hand.

“ Oh hush. ”

But, it didn’t end there. No, your behavior peeked its head even in the smallest inconveniences or the most normal of interactions. Each brother had been exposed to your proposals, and they all had different reactions to them.

For Mikey, it’s a given that the first incident was food related. A weary you had stumbled down into the lair, wilting at the kitchen table as you basked in what might have been a perfect reenactment of that scene in Ratatouille. With your head in your arms, laid against the table, you hummed to the menagerie of cardamom and chili powder, of parsley and an aromatic blend of diced onions, carrots, and greens.

It wasn’t long before the brother noticed your company and chuckled, stirring his craft as its smell wafted you into a waltz, dipping you through the heartwarming tastes.

“ Don’t worry, I’ll make you a bowl that’ll get you right on your feet, Y/N. ”

While you had simply groaned in response, your pep had returned just as you got a bite of whatever masterpiece this artist crafted. As it melted on your tongue, enlivening your whole being, you stared starry-eyed at the brother and purred your usual quip.

“ Oh Mikey, why don’t we just get married so I can experience this for the rest of my life! ”

Albeit flustered, Mikey simply shook his head and laughed.

“ That’s probably the best compliment my cookings ever had! Maybe I’ll just hire you as my taste tester? ”

“ Please!! ”

After a while, Mikey would eventually let you lend a hand in the kitchen, too. Soon, your homecooked meals were sought after by friends and family, all taken aback by how you managed to create amazing dishes so suddenly???

Now, for Raph, he hadn’t gotten used to these quips, and sometimes you weren’t actually kidding! I mean, how could you not? He was like those folks in fairytales, always there to protect you, to lend a listening hear and a helping hand! He might’ve been the first to hear your little proposals and affection, but boy he was the farthest from being normal about it. Especially with how starry-eyed you would gaze at him while saying it!

“ Y/N! ”

You perked at your name being called, turning to see yourself as the unlucky target of some sort of machinery’s attack. As it unhinged its metallic jaws, lunging at you to chomp, its body was shattered under the force of a fist, glittering red with invigorating magic.

“ Are you okay? ”

He asked, peering down at your frame with such an air of heroism that you melted into a smile.

“ I love how heroic you are. ”

For a moment, he completely forgot of the other little mousers closing in with clanging jaws. Everything flooded back just as quickly as it left, with his gaze snapping back to the threat as he guarded you.

“ Y/N, ya really gotta stop flustering me like that! Raph doesn’t, doesn’t—he doesn’t know how to, ah—. ”

He shakes his head, stumbling over his words before lunging to strike. You were amazed by his strength, if not for the sudden realization of their multiplying once being struck.

“Ah, Wait, hey—hey, Raph? Raph?! RAPH!! I think they’ve been—they’re, THEY’RE MULTIPLYING LIKE THE SILVERFISH, RAPH STOP HITTING THEM! ”

You squealed, trying to get his attention as you batted a mouser away with your trusty bag! He was heroic, strong, but sometimes a ditz. Not like that made you love him any less!

Now, for Leo it always seemed like he was with it. Sometimes you couldn’t even tell if he was joking! He was quick to pick up your habits.

The first time it happened, you were the one to be dumbfounded. None of the other brothers would allow it, but he let you go on patrols with him. Perhaps he just needed an ear to talk off, or maybe it was because you were a magnet for danger? Whatever the reason, he let you tag along, and you were overjoyed.

Atop a roof’s edge you sat, swinging your legs while gazing across the cityscape with an eye almost as watchful as his.

“ Aahh, the nighttime is so serene, once you tune out the bustling noise. ”

You laid back, eyes closed as you inhaled the lunar air. The rustling beside you indicated he followed suit, laying back. Peeking at him with one eye, you purred a snide remark.

“ Say, shouldn’t you be focusing instead of relaxing? ”

“ Me? Focus? Not when you’re chilling so comfortably beside me. ”

You both have a breathy little chuckle, gazing at the stars and basking in the tranquility of the night. It wasn’t as though every night brought with it threat. In fact, most patrols were spent this same way—relaxing somewhere in each other’s time, wasting away the hours until it was “ throw in the towel ” time. As the city sounds drowned into the background, you gave an exhale and opened your mouth to speak.

“Aaahh, how delightful it would be to stay like this forever. ”

“ Yeah, maybe we should just marry the night together? ”

You could hear the grin in his voice, reaching over to shove him playfully.

“ Pft, copycat! Marrying is my thing. ”

“ Oh really? Then maybe you should marry me, I’m obviously the most wed-able brother. ”

“ Is that a word? ”

You gave a scrutinizing gaze, tinged with a goofy grin as he shrugged and declared “ it is now ! ”

Now, he had even thrown them at you a few times in combat, like say for instance, when he caught you in his arms after a hefty opponent had unceremoniously swatted you away from the battlefield. Even you were caught off guard in the moment, clinging to the turtle’s chest while trying to catch your breath.

“ You know what they call this hold? ”

He adjusted his grip on you, emphasizing the position of you draped in his arms, but you were much too out of it to catch yourself from the spider’s web trap he laid for you.

“ Wh-what? ”

The smirk on his face reeled you in, but not before you could interrupt him with a “ hey, wait! “

“ Bridal style. Ah, are those wedding bells I hear? Hurry, my bride, rush to the ceremony! ”

He laughed, placing you down and shoving you towards an exit, implicitly saying, “ it’s too dangerous, get out of here. “

For the last brother, Donnie, it always seemed like he was going to ban you altogether. The heavy sigh that crawled out of him each time you made a quip was enough to momentarily question whether or not you were getting too ahead of yourself. Were you playing too much? Should you rein it in a little? If it weren’t for the split-second smirks, you would have long since dropped your displays of affection with him.

And, after a while, he started to play along with your charades as Leo did—albeit only in the comfort of their own home.

Initially he held his tongue and ignored your comments, and you had trouble reading him. Was he genuinely annoyed? The brothers would tell you otherwise, say that he thought it was funny in his own way, they’d tell you not to worry, but how could you ignore it when he would roll his eyes? Growl? Seem completely annoyed by your antics?

It wasn’t until he experienced your chivalrous protector nature that he started responding differently to your affection. In the fight against Shredder, they knew they were all on their own against this threat. No one in their right mind would stand up for any of them, not to this demon!

So, when his battleshell was demolished by one swipe of the demon, he prepared himself for the final blow, comically waving a white flag, before a shadow was casted over him and a signature bag was swung like a torch at a monster.

“ GET AWAY, B-BACK UP, LEAVE HIM ALONE!! ”

Your signature scream had brought him back to his senses as he watched your trembling frame try pathetically to swat away the threat. Aside from April, you may have been the only human who would try foolishly to protect any of the brothers from an enemy infinitely stronger than you, and he couldn’t help but respect that.

So, he had taken it upon himself to put a bit more energy into humoring you.

Dramatically leaning into Donnie, hand across your forehead and your other hand reached for the heavens, you mewled playfully.

“ Oh, dearest Donnie, even if the gods were to be against you, I would be your knight! ”

With a giggle, you let him grab your hand, spinning and dipping you.

“ And pray tell, beloved Y/N, how dost thou intend to protect one who hast more power than thou? ”

His brothers groaned from the couch, more than accustomed to the strange dynamic cultivated between you both.

“ Tell, I will, with all my strength I’ll fend off the threats with my trusty sword! ”

You held up your bag with a determined expression. Laughter filled the room before you both joined the couch for movie night.

Well, Donnie sat normally.

You gave a battle cry and leapt onto them. It was an understatement to say you fit comfortably into this family’s puzzle like a long-lost piece.

[theonevoice]

I've seen and read several iteration of the "Supreme Archangel Aziraphale finds Crowley imprisoned/tortured and steps in to save him and tend to his wounds" situation, which my sentimental ass appreciates intensely, but I wouldn't mind the opposite scenario.

Like, Aziraphale snaps in Heaven and an entire platoon of angels beats him up and summons demons to take him to Hell, when Crowley swoops in and miracles them to safety. And then, in some dark remote place, avoiding miracles to stay hidden as long as possible, as the angel breaks down in desperate sobs, the demon whips out a handkerchief and starts cleaning up the mess of dirt, blood and tears, his glasses still on but his jaw slightly softened, still not talking, only from time to time whispering "idiot".

[akaridream]

glancing blows (raditz x reader)

tags: raditz x reader, raditz x Saiyan! reader, raditz x Time Patroller! reader

warnings: MDNI explicit sexual content, smutty goodness, all the bad words, afab reader

When Raditz saw a red band hiked high up your left thigh, he was grateful. Grateful that the Supreme Kai allowed him to become an instructor in Conton City, grateful that you had taken up his training session, grateful that you were a fellow Saiyan. But he was most grateful for the fact that male Saiyan armor had a plate over the crotch. Without it, there would be no way to hide his aching boner.

Raditz swelled with pride at the sight of you wearing classic armor just like his. But the fact that you had copied the band he wore on his leg too? Devastatingly sexy.

“Like it?” you asked with a glint in your eye as you crested the hill, your preferred training ground outside the busy city.

Raditz smirked. “Suits you well,” he said, snapping the band against your muscular leg. “And it shows exactly who you belong to.”

You swished your tail and stretched the matching band against his taut bicep.

“It shows which new instructor belongs to me,” you purred with salacious eye contact. “I am your first student, right? Better make this training session worth my while, pretty boy.”

It had been like this since Raditz’s arrival to Conton City. The Supreme Kai of Time thought a high-level Saiyan Time Patroller would be perfect to show him around and whip him into an effective instructor. Had she known your chemistry was this good, she might have chosen differently. You couldn’t stop making bedroom eyes at each other.

“Oh, I’ll show you what I’ve got, my little Saiyan princess. And you’ll see I am anything but a boy,” he said, his gruff, gravelly voice making you tingle.

You chuckled. “Is that right? I guess we’ll see then.”

As you stepped away to warm up, Raditz followed close behind, stalking you like prey. “How about we start with a little grappling match? I’ll pin you before you can count to three.”

You turned to him as you stretched. “You might be surprised. I can hold my own against any man here. I’ll top you before you know what’s hit you.”

His eyes raked over you hungrily. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? To top me?”

You bit your lip and raised an eyebrow at him. “Of course. But I wouldn’t mind letting you win at least once.”

It took great effort for Raditz to refrain from shoving you to the ground and having his way with you then and there. The way you spoke, how your tail mesmerized him, your plush lips and dark eyes… You were perfection. How long could he stay focused before he gave in to temptation? Your soft touch on his arm already had him pining for you. His filthy mind was imagining your voice desperately moaning his name, piecing together a mental picture of you writhing beneath him. Or on top of him, he really didn’t care which.

You held a hair tie between your teeth as you gathered up your long hair. Raditz salivated at the sight of your parted lips, his predatory gaze never leaving you. You gave him a show by dipping your head back to display the delicate tower of your neck, prime for love bites. You arched your back, sending his attention to your ass and tail as you tied your hair up in a ponytail. And damn, did he love your strong legs too. He wanted them crushing his head as he tasted you.

You opened your eyes to find his, inky black and full of lust as he leaned against the lone tree, arms crossed. Your knees went weak as he devoured you. In his armor, his thighs were also on full display, nearly as thick as the trunk he leaned on. But his arms were your favorite. Well defined and drool-inducing, you craved to know how they’d feel wrapped around your waist as you bounced on him, or holding you up against that tree. Oh, but that tail of his. It swayed like a hypnotist’s watch, drawing you in like a moth to flame.

“Want me to tie you up, too?” you asked. “Your hair, I mean.”

He smirked. “Would you like that?”

“It won’t get in your face while we train,” you replied. “Plus, a ponytail could look hot on you.”

“I prefer mine natural,” he growled as he twirled a lock of your hair around his finger. “Though I like the ponytail on you. Gives me something to grab onto.”

You blushed and bit your lip. “Don’t you think we should at least try to train a little before you start trying to seduce me?”

Raditz leaned in close, towering over you in the most heart-pounding way. “Why? I think you’ve already fallen under my spell, darling.”

You raised an eyebrow and nearly brushed noses with him. “My, my. So confident.”

He purred, breathing in your scent. “I saw the way you were looking at me. Why not skip straight to the good part?”

You laughed and playfully shoved him away. “I heard you were a slacker, Raditz. Don’t you have any inclination to get stronger as a warrior?”

He frowned and stepped forward to take your jaw between his index finger and thumb, tilting your face up towards his. “Not when there’s such a tasty reward already ripe for the taking.”

You drew a finger down his chest. “Prove to me training with you is worth my time and maybe I’ll let you take a bite, pretty boy,” you breathed over his lips. You chuckled and stepped back, inviting him to spar.

Ever impatient, Raditz scoffed, but pursued. Despite his grand size, his blows lacked the sting and fire of his younger brother. You easily had him on the defensive, overpowering him with a barrage of punches and kicks. His surprise pleased you, and your attacks sent him to one knee, desperately panting to catch his breath.

“Come on, that isn’t all you’ve got, is it?” you asked with a scowl.

His dark eyes caught yours, frustrated. “I… Didn’t realize I wouldn’t have to hold back with you.”

You glared at him. “Tch! Don’t be such a coward! You should know better than to hold back just because I’m a woman!”

Raditz launched himself towards you with a guttural yell and punch, more powerful than before. Still, you evaded him with grace and ease, adding fuel to his burning annoyance.

“How-” He threw a punch. “Are you-” A kick. “So swift?” Another punch.

You caught his fist and bent his wrist and sending him wincing on one knee again. “This is nothing! I’m starting to see how great the difference between us is,” you scathed. “Pity. I had hoped you’d be more competent than this.”

Raditz’s nostrils flared with rage as you turned your back and walked away from him. He punched the ground with a fiery grunt before chasing after you. His muscled arms clamped around your waist, his back arched and he slammed you down with a bone-shattering suplex. The blow rang through your head like a gong. Before you could claw your way out of his grasp, Raditz flipped you to your stomach and pinned an arm behind your back.

“Not bad,” you mumbled, beginning to smile with your face pressed into the grass.

His elbow dug into your spine. With your shoulder twisted into an agonizing position, you desperately tried to maneuver out of the pin. You managed to get your knees under yourself, but your torso was well and truly trapped under Raditz’s massive form.

“Face down, ass up. Just how I like it,” he quipped as he contorted your arm even further. You groaned at the pain, swearing he was going to rip your shoulder from its socket. Just as you were about to tap out, your free hand brushed against fur. An idea dawned on you.

Like a vice, your hand clenched around Raditz’s tail. His entire body grew rigid and powerless with a strangled gasp from his throat. His grip on you loosened and you wriggled out from under him. You pounced on your opportunity by shoving him down and onto his back, straddling one of his thick thighs and pinning his opposite knee to his chest over your shoulder.

“Me on top. Just how I like it.” You glowed in pride over him, chest heaving.

Raditz’s eyes narrowed. “That was cheap!”

“Should have trained not to be so sensitive,” you mocked. “What’s your excuse? Afraid of hard work?”

Fury bloomed in his chest again, but he was immobilized. He frowned and laid his head against the ground, looking anywhere but at you.

“Aw, don’t pout,” you patronized. “I’ve trained with all kinds of strong warriors. I knew you wouldn’t beat me.”

“Then why even bother,” he growled, still avoiding your gaze. You pressed your shoulder in further, squeezing his knee to his chest uncomfortably.

“Because I’m sizing you up, dummy. How else but to fight you?”

“You can let go of me now,” he strained, growing irritated.

You cocked an eyebrow. “Hmm, I thought you wanted me to top you.”

You dropped Raditz’s leg back down and climbed over to straddle him. His eyes grew wide as you planted your palms on his chest and began to drag your hips over his armor plate. Funny that he had been so thankful for that very plate. Now he couldn’t wait to get rid of it.

He ran his hands from your knees up the soft skin of your thighs. “I thought Saiyan women weren’t interested in weak men,” he admitted quietly.

You peeled off your upper armor to reveal your black sports bra underneath. “Oh quit your pouting. Just because I’m strong doesn’t make you weak.”

Your words triggered a deep, long forgotten memory. Time and time again, fellow Saiyan warriors called him pathetic, lazy, cowardly. And maybe he was. Maybe his strength paled in comparison to other soldiers. But long ago, while watching his tiny brother float in his tank, their mother had patted his head lovingly and told him, Don’t let his high power level discourage you, Raditz. Just because he’s strong does not mean you’re weak.

Now, Raditz’s eyes brimmed with the softness of his mother as he gazed up at your beautiful face. He reached up, thumb brushing your cheek with a gentleness you didn’t expect. You leaned against his touch and closed your eyes.

“May I…” he started. “May I have a taste of you now?”

Pleasantly surprised by his romantic expression, you blushed deeply and leaned forward. You raked your nails through his wild hair, then held his face and pressed your forehead against his.

“Please.”

Raditz stole your breath with a kiss laden with electricity. Your heart soared with excitement as you began to explore one another, the press of every kiss weakening you. You melted over him, arms snaking around his shoulders. He sighed heavily into your mouth, his tongue chasing and teasing yours as he held the back of your head. Your hands curled into fists in his hair, pent up with passion.

“I need you, darling,” he said in a desperate voice.

“Let me give you what you want. Take off your armor.”

With a parting kiss, you sat back and allowed him to sit up to strip his armor. Without it, you could finally see his incredible body and the intimidating size of his bulge. You felt an immediate rush between your legs.

“Lay back for me,” you said, eying the print of his cock.

Raditz obliged, propping himself up on his elbows under the shade of the tree. You positioned yourself between his legs before kissing his lips, then began a journey down his jaw and neck. You kissed shapes into his tender flesh while your hands caressed the firm muscles of his chest and arms, stopping to snap the red band around his bicep again.

Breaths of pleasure escaped him as you touched him, working your way slowly towards the destination you both could hardly wait for. While your hands explored his sculpted abdomen, your tongue lightly dragged over his pectorals. You teased his nipple, causing a suppressed moan to rumble in his throat. You smiled and made a mental note for later.

When your fingers finally reached the band of his black briefs, you lightly traced along the waist as you kissed down the trail of black hair below his navel. Your palm began to graze over his cock print, so incredibly hard. His eyes closed with a groan. You worked your palm over him with an agonizingly light touch, then did the same with your lips. Raditz clawed into the ground, gripping the grass and growling.

“Stop teasing me, woman.”

You smiled, watching his every movement while blowing hot breaths over his cock.

“Mmm, but I love seeing you squirm like this,” you purred. “Tell me how bad you want it, pretty boy.”

He groaned. “I want your lips around my cock so bad, darling.”

“Tell me you need it.”

“Need your mouth, baby girl.”

“Tell me what else you want.”

“Want to cum in your mouth, want to fuck you ‘til you’re sore. Want to hear you scream my name ‘til everyone knows who’s fucking you.”

You bit your lip, supremely satisfied with Raditz’s response. You removed his briefs and watched his cock fall against his abdomen, heavy and thick. Saliva filled your mouth at the sight and you gave a long lick up the underside of his dick. He shuddered.

You began circling your tongue around the fat tip as your hands lightly squeezed his thighs, teasing around his signature band. You sucked his shiny head like a popsicle, letting your spit drip down the shaft. Your slender fingers wrapped around his cock, making you moan at the size and weight in your palm.

“Fuck,” you said under your breath. Raditz watched you bite your lip and stare at his stiff member with lust. “You’re so thick. Not sure if I can take it.”

He chuckled and grabbed your ponytail as you started working your hand and mouth together to suck him off. “Oh, you’ll take it. You’ll take every inch.”

You groaned in response and took him further, nearly to your throat. His girth made it difficult and your jaw already felt the strain. But Raditz’s grip on your hair said he wanted more, so you dug your nails into his thighs and forced his cock deeper. You whined and tears formed at the corners of your eyes, but the ragged moan from Raditz was well worth it. You breathed through your nose and relaxed as you choked him down until you felt his head reach the back of your throat.

“Aghhh,” he whined in pleasure. You smiled internally and let up, allowing your hand to help work his shaft. Up and down you stroked him with just the right pressure, and he made sure to let you know with feral growls. You pulled your mouth off and spit into your other hand so you could give his heavy balls attention. Your lips enclosed over one and sucked as you continued to stroke him with both hands.

“You’re sloppy,” he chuckled. You moaned and made eye contact, bringing him dangerously close to the edge.

“Mm, but does it feel good?” you asked between slurping at him.

“Ugh, you have no idea, doll. You’re so fucking good.”

The praise made you take him fully down your throat again with a quickening pace, your pussy fluttering with his every sound. The faster you could make him cum, the faster you could have him inside you. Excited at the notion, you focused your energy on finishing him. He grunted and rocked his hips in time with your ministrations. His tail, softly swirling until now, began to twitch at the tip. Growing more noisy, you could tell he was nearing his climax.

“Fuck! Just a little more!” he wailed, grip on your ponytail painfully tight.

“Look at me,” you commanded. He did as you told, and you pumped him hard, pulling your mouth off to wait for his load. With a final throaty grumble and groan, Raditz’s abs and glutes tightened as pulses of pleasure burst behind his eyes.

“Ah, fuck! That’s it!” he cried. His tail went rigid and his legs trembled as his cock spurted onto your patient tongue and you slowed your strokes to draw out his orgasm. “What a good girl,” he breathed at the sight of his cum covering your tongue. “Now swallow.”

You did as you were told and reopened your mouth to prove your obedience. He smiled and chuckled, then caressed your cheek.

“Such a good girl. Now turn around and sit on my face. Let me taste you,” he said. Heart leaping, you obeyed.

You removed your remaining armor, bra and briefs, leaving only your leg band to match his. He laid back on the grass and you lowered yourself over him, skin tingling with anticipation. He hooked his arms around your thighs and positioned you perfectly to feel his breaths on your lips.

“Goddamn,” he grumbled. “You smell so delicious.” He blew deliberate hot puffs of air onto you as his thumbs pulled you apart. You were trembling already. He started with a slow, gentle rhythm around your clit, tongue soft and pliable. You closed your eyes and whined at the sensation. As his pace began to build, you started to rock your hips against his tongue, hands on his hard abs for support.

He rolled your clit between his tongue and upper lip, then brought a thumb to your pussy’s entrance, dipping in only enough to gather some of your slippery arousal. He repeated the gesture a few times, then moved his tongue to penetrate you and started working your clit with his thumb. You moaned and laid forward, head on his lower abs. As he tongue-fucked you, you teased his cock with the tips of your fingers, causing him to jolt beneath you.

“Hah! Not yet!” he said with a shaky voice muffled by your pussy.

“Then can I watch you?” you asked. He pulled off and allowed you to turn around. Before you sat back down on his face, you kissed him, dying to taste yourself on his hot tongue. He groaned, then ran this thumb over the band on your thigh and gave it a tug.

You mounted his face, never breaking eye contact as you did so. His dark eyes were clouded with lust, just like yours. As his mouth reconnected with your clit, you grabbed his hair, hard. Raditz’s breathing grew labored as he lapped at your sweet pussy, loving the pain of you yanking his hair. His cock started to reawaken with each honeyed moan from your lips. Your tail softly brushed over his stomach while his arms guided your hips. You closed your eyes as you rode, orgasm building closer and closer to the soaring bliss.

“Ahh! So good!” you called out. “Please don’t stop!”

Raditz’s watched you as he shook his head back and forth, making your cunt pulse. Your nails gouged into his scalp.

“Oh fuck!” you squealed.

Fireworks exploded in your vision as the rush came. Raditz was captivated, staring at your quaking form above. The bliss radiated as he continued flicking at you with his tongue. You basked in the warm pleasure, sighing and catching your breath. You finally opened your eyes to find Raditz grinning underneath you.

“That was so good. God damn,” you praised as you sat back, softly stroking the hair you just had a death grip on.

There was darkness in his smile. “Think you can handle more?”

You brushed your thumb over his bottom lip, now cherry red from eating your pussy. He captured your thumb and sucked.

“Want it all.”

Raditz sat up and leaned against the trunk of the tree, pulling you along with him to straddle him. Hard once more, he aligned himself with your soaking wet entrance and teased with his cockhead.

You let the head slip into you, then lifted off, steadying yourself with hands on his shoulders.

“Me on top, again? You really are lazy,” you teased.

He snickered and sucked on your neck as you lowered yourself further down onto his dick. “I’ll put in some effort, don’t you worry.”

Raditz was thick, making you take your time despite your orgasm and overwhelming arousal.

“Shit, you’re huge,” you whined. He bit down on your shoulder as you dropped your weight over him, letting his cock fully seat inside your blissful walls. He groaned, head dizzy and abs already tight from cumming once already.

“Fuck!” he said through clenched teeth. “So tight for such a slut.”

You pinched both his nipples as you began to ride. Raditz gasped sharply, then grinned.

“I am not a slut,” you said. “You make me wanna act like one.”

“Is that right? And why is that, darling?” he purred, making good on his word as he met your thrusts with plenty of power.

“Mmh!” you cried after a particularly hard thrust. “Because I’ve always wanted a big boy like you.” Each stroke on his fat cock sent pleasure deep, satisfying your craving to be fucked.

“How about I make you feel small?” Raditz growled and rolled you onto your back. He crawled on top of you and wrapped your thighs tightly around his waist before reentering you with shocking force, making you gasp. Kissing at your chest and neck, he fucked you with thorough strokes.

“Ahh! Mm, you feel so good!” you wailed as one of his hands found your chest. He rolled your nipple through his finger and thumb, never missing a beat with his hips. His grunts and groans rumbled in his chest, animalistic and erotic. His hands wandered and gripped you all over, from your breasts to your ass and thighs. You tossed your head aside, letting him bite and suck your neck as he pounded you into the ground.

He unwrapped your legs from his waist and gripped your ankles, forcing you into a mating press. The angle change was perfect.

“Haaaahh!” you whimpered. “Yes, please don’t stop, Raditz!” His cock pulsed at the sound of his name falling from your lips in such a heated manner, so he did exactly as you requested. Cock drilling you and your nails digging into his strong arms, he fucked you until you saw stars.

“Couldn’t stop if I wanted to! Too tight!” Your tail found his and twisted together, an intimate sensation that only added to the immense pleasure.

“Cum inside, please,” you begged him, feeling the approach of your climax deep in your stomach. Despite his heavy breathing, Raditz insisted on kissing you. He grunted from his chest, grounding down through his knees to push every ounce of energy into fucking you. Bodies entwined, sharing breaths, he delivered another few powerful thrusts.

You crashed and pulsed with a cry, riding the high like an ocean wave, the breathtaking peak bright and blissful. Raditz did the same, his final pumps sending a spine-tingling shock through his entire body. His arms shook as he moaned at the pleasure, collapsing onto you in a heap of muscle and wild hair. He nestled into your bitten neck, leaving himself sheathed until the final surges of orgasm had dissipated.

He withdrew from you and rolled onto his back beneath the grand tree, the only witness to your deed. He pulled you into his side, still wanting to feel your warmth. You smiled and snuggled into him.

You caught your breaths together, listening to the gentle breeze rustling the leaves above and feeling the tingle of the sun on your exposed skin. After a long silence, Raditz chuckled.

“I don’t suppose many of your other training sessions go this way,” he said.

You smiled and looked up at his handsome features. “And what if they do? You jealous?”

He frowned and met your gaze. You reassured him by twisting your tail up with his again.

“The only thing I’m wearing right now is your leg band, big guy. I’m yours,” you said with a lingering kiss.

He hummed his satisfaction. “Good. I better not see anyone else’s marks on that gorgeous neck of yours.”

“I guess I should amend that statement,” you said with a laugh. “I’m yours, so long as you continue to fuck me like that.”

He chuckled and kissed you once more. “Deal.”

dbz masterlist

[eccentricallygothic]

OMG PROUD NO MORE IS THE HOTTEST THING IVE EVER READ PART 2 pls im on my knees

AHHHH! I am so glad you liked it! Since requests aren't open and I cannot do a drabble or oneshot rn, here's a little something I whipped up. Sorry if you had something specific in mind (you can always talk about it 🥴)

Note: This is a part 2-ish headcanon of my ABO oneshot Proud No More.

Warning(s): Dub-con, dark enhanced!Alpha Steve, Alpha!Reader, mean!Steve and dark stuff. Browse at your own discretion. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.

After the events of part 1, Y/n remains curled in his legs on the floor after cleaning up and bringing everyone their drinks. 

Steve is drinking his as he discusses the sport on the tv with the other Alphas.

She whimpers each time their eyes meet, him sitting on the couch with his legs spread, her snuggled up to them underneath him. 

Her whole body is wrapped around his but he is not touching her at all.

His blue eyes are so cold to the puppy eyes she is looking at him with. 

He knows it. 

He can see it.

Smell it.

She wants it.

Needs him.

Inside.

So, so bad.

Y/n spends the remainder of the time peppering soft apologetic kisses to his knees, legs and thighs, hoping to earn some mercy.

Because Steve is the worst when it came to denying her where she needs him most. 

Which is his go to punishment for her besides spanking. 

She doesn't even care about the rest of the pack looking at her anymore. 

Pleasing him so he would fuck her pussy numb is the only objective on her mind now.

But Steve doesn't falter.

The Alpha Supreme is a master of endurance.

She's so desperate by the time they finally leave the packhouse and walk towards his vintage Camaro. 

Her eyes are glossy and lips only slightly pouty (because Steve doesn't tolerate brats and she's trying her best to not piss him off more than she already has) when he orders her to go over to get inside with a brief nod towards the vehicle.

She whines just a little, trying to move his hand (that she's desperately holding tight between both of hers) towards her aching core. 

Yes, she forgets all rationality when she's needy. 

What is remaining of her bottoms is covered in a wet mess of her slick and his cum. 

But one sharp look from Steve has her scurrying away to the backseat, not wanting another punishment.

Whenever Y/n acts out, she loses the passenger Princess privilege. 

Because Alpha doesn't like to look at sorry misbehaving puppies.

So she's sniffling and hiccupping as she moves to the back of the car before settling her very sore ass on the seat.

Her head lowers itself as her cheeks burn in humiliation.

He has a way of making her feel so small and pathetic.

Her form feels so tiny against the leather seat right now.

As if she's nothing but a small kicked puppy.

Fuck.

She can not decide if it's the inferior Alpha in her or if she actually feels sorry. 

But all her senses are wrenching with regret.

The stunt was completely unnecessary and not worth it at all.

She's quiet and ashamed behind him, pulling her best sorry puppy expression. 

The Superior Alpha starts the car and drives it off the porch onto the main road.

It is after a few minutes that her whimpers start to get louder to try and attract his attention.

Needy eyes shoot pleading glances up at the blonde man, knowing that he can feel them through the bond.

Steve continues to ignore her, still irritated by the antic she pulled in the packhouse. 

It will take her days of worship and cocksucking to make him happy again.

It always does.

He is very hard to please. 

Until then, the Supreme Alpha will, no doubt, be even stricter than usual.

Calling her out on the smallest of slip ups, punishing her for even breathing the wrong way, denying her as much physical touch as possible (she doesn't like to admit it but the puppy in her is always making her pathetically cuddle into one of his limbs). 

The cruelest cold shoulder. 

It has happened before.

And only Y/n is to blame for it happening again.

Yes, no matter what Steve does to her, she always dry orgasms. 

It is just the effect he has on her.

But nothing compares to his touch down there. 

Nothing, no orgasm, ever satisfies her more than the one his cock fucks out of her. 

And until she can have one of those, she can neither think nor function right. 

On days when she has to face denial as a consequence of her own actions, his dick is all she can think about. 

Even if she refuses to admit it.

That is where the punishment aspect comes in. 

Steve knows how hopeless her body is for his touch.

24/7.

She can lie to herself all she wants.

But Y/n cannot change the effect the bond has on her.

And that's exactly why he uses her everywhere but in her pussy following an episode of her acting out.

The begging, sobbing, kneeling, writhing, hissing, worshipping and trembling for his mercy strokes his ego in the best way.

Nothing makes him harder than all the promises she desperately makes.

All the ungodly things he makes her say.

Because she gets so cock starved during these punishments that she is always willing to do whatever he wants in the end.

Anything at all. 

Just so he would fuck her like the puppy that she is.

Fuck her until she has basically lost consciousness.

Only to make her thank him once she comes back up.

Every time. 

How her pride gradually breaks down.

Peeling away from her stiff form like the clothes that he makes her strip out of. 

There is no better sight or feeling.

To him, that state looks the best on her.

She's so fragile and vulnerable for him then.

It is perfect. 

She is perfect.

When she is proud no more.

Compliant and respectful on her knees. 

Stroking his ego and kissing his feet.

Steve smirks to himself as he turns a corner, refusing to look at the crying mess of drool and cum hanging by his seat.

He has turned a deaf ear to her pleads. 

But his monstrous knot is so worked up by how she's doing her best to remain as silent as possible because she is not allowed to be loud especially when interacting with her Alpha. 

Yet, every part of her body is aching for him (he can feel it through their bond) so bad that she cannot stop the begging even if she wants to. 

It is impossible for her to sit silently (as is expected of her).

Thus piling more and more punishment for herself.

Steve is not complaining though.

[redstarwriting]

too easy

stephen strange x reader

requested?: yes

request: “okay hi! i was wondering if you could write a imagine with stephen strange where the reader is the daughter of the ancient one and she is ridiculously powerful like even more powerful than the ancient one and saves stephen’s life and defeats mordo, stephen falls in love with her and asks her to stay and protect the sanctum with him? i’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense cause i’m horrible at explaining my thoughts. thank you!”

word count: 1.7k

genre: fluff

warnings: language, awkward rambling, flash thompson, mentions of alcohol, angsty peter for a bit

a/n: and we’re BACK. fitting for me to return with writing something about andrew garfield’s spider-man. when i tell you i was OBSESSED with these films when i was like 12, i mean it. anyways, please enjoy, and take this as a peace offering for disappearing for like two years lol

───────────────────────────────

Being the most powerful sorcerer on Earth had it’s perks, but it also had it’s downsides. The obvious perk? You are quite literally the most powerful sorcerer on Earth. The biggest downside? You’re constantly compared to your mother. Your mom being the Ancient One seems all fun and cute and you absolutely love her, but if everyone could stop comparing you to her for like, five minutes? That would be great. Especially Mordo. He tends to do it way more than any other person you know. 

And you hate it. 

In fact, it made you beg your mother to stay away from him. Of course she agreed, she knew how much you disliked him and what kind of mother would she be if she didn’t listen to you. To everyone else, it looked like you ran away from magic, but in reality, you were set to guard the Earth from whatever evil magical encounters befell it. Mordo of course constantly tried to tell others that you ran away from your responsibilities, so where was your shock when you realized he turned evil? Oh, that’s right, it didn’t exist. It just pissed you off more than anything. Your mother helped this man and he repaid her memory by doing this? No. Absolutely not. And that’s how you ended up in the position you were in. 

You knew about Stephen Strange. Your mother would talk to you about him before he even came to train under her, so you knew of his powers. What you didn’t know was he was an idiot disguised as a genius He tried to go after Mordo himself, and while he could have easily taken him when Mordo was his typical self, Mordo had been collecting magic from other sorcerers for multiple months now. Strange was still more powerful, but he severely underestimated the situation. When you showed up, Mordo was about to drain Stephen of his magic. Luckily, you put a stop to that almost immediately. 

“Mordo,” you say, making him whip around to face you. “(Y/n)? Finally decide to stop running away from your problems?”

“Oh please. Why do you think the only problem lately was Dormamu? I’ve been busy saving your ass this whole time,” you respond, glaring. It’s true. Stephen was supposed to defeat Dormamu, you just had to make sure nothing else was happening that would destroy his chances at becoming the Sorcerer Supreme, a title which you could have had if you actually wanted it. You knew what you were meant to do. Your mother had trained you with the Eye of Agamotto ever since you were a child, which is now sitting pretty on Stephen Strange’s neck. Mordo scoffs at you, completely disregarding Strange and putting his full attention on you. “You may be powerful, child, but I’ve been improving my skills.”

“Uh, no, actually, you’ve been stealing other people’s magic and therefore gaining it for yourself. I see no improvement, just an asshole who wants to feel more important than he actually is,” you say, giving a shrug. You clench your fists, making sure your rings are securely on your fingers. Not just the portal ones, if need me you could move to a different place knowing Mordo will follow you and leave the future Sorcerer Supreme safe… for now, but also some of your artifacts. There were two rings that chose you specifically, and lucky for you, one of them contained a tiny piece of the time stone, something about it that is unknown to most. Of course, it makes sense, you mastered the eye of Agamotto and then just willingly gave it up? No, I don’t think so. This ring makes it possible for you to continue using the magic you mastered so long ago. For most sorcerers, it would be nearly impossible due to the size of the shard, but for you? Piece of cake. The other ring is one that protects you. It can form into something of a shield all around your body, making magical attacks difficult to get through to you and physical attacks comparable to a blow of wind. Of course, it is named Achilles ring because although you may seem invincible to the average person, anyone with information about the ring knows where your weak spot is. And those are just the ring artifacts that chose you.

Mordo glares at you. “I AM IMPORTANT!” he booms, “YOU are the one who ran away! YOU are the one who appeared at this moment hoping to be more important than you are! YOU are a scared child, afraid of responsibilities and--“ Before he can finish, you blast him backward with a wave of your hand. He hits the stone wall behind him with a thud, falling to the ground. “I’m not a child,” you grumble, glancing at Stephen Strange, “Only my mom could call me child.” You yank your necklace off, and it immediately turns into a magical sword, the blade a glowing beam of light that you can control and bend at your will. He chuckles, standing up again. “Your mother is—”

“I recommend you don’t finish that sentence,” you growl, and whip your arm. The beam of light forms into that of a lasso, tying around Mordo tightly. You grunt, using your strength to fling him over your head and into the ground on your left, and then proceed to do the same on your right before releasing him from his constraints. “I’m well aware there is a fight going on here, but would anyone care to tell me who you might be?” Strange asks and you raise your eyebrow at him. “Not the time, Doctor,” you say as Mordo slowly stands again, his angry expression somehow morphing into an even angrier one. He raises his hand to do something, and your ring quickly activates, covering your body in an iridescent sheen. Mordo screams in frustration and starts sprinting toward you, pulling out a knife. You hold your hand out, freezing him in place. “Strange, open a portal to Wong, now,” you say and he looks taken aback. You smile slightly as you see Cloak shake in amusement and watch Strange glare at the artifact before opening a portal. Sure enough, Wong is just sitting and enjoying tea which he promptly drops when he sees you freezing Mordo in time. “Can I ask how you’re doing that? Or is it still—”

“Not the time,” you and Wong both say. “Not the time, of course, not the time even though the bad guy is frozen in front of your face. Not the time,” you hear Strange mumble, sitting down on a rock as Cloak pats his shoulder. “Don’t sit down yet, Strange, how proficient are you with the eye?” you ask, glancing at him. “I saved the world with it. Stuck myself in a time loop and convinced Dormamu to—”

“Yeah, I know that, but can you do what I’m doing right now?” you cut him off and he blinks at you slowly. “Yes. Obviously.” “Great, take over,” you say, immediately freeing Mordo who continues to scream and run towards you again. You don’t even flinch as he gets so close that his knife is about to swipe at your only point of weakness. Of course, before he can, Stephen freezes him. You look over at him. “Took you a little long over there."

“Now how the hell was I supposed to know you would just let him go and not give me any time to prepare to stop him?”

“You shouldn’t need time. Always be ready to make a decision without thinking. Your logic will be your downfall,” you tell him, as you place your hand on Mordo’s chest. You begin extracting the magic he stole from everyone else from his body, including his own. You frown. You’ve always hated this type of magic. Fitting that Mordo would willingly use it. When you finish, you nod towards Strange, who lets him go from his frozen state. He crumples to the ground and you look down at him. “You did this to yourself, you know,” you say to him and turn toward Wong. “You can handle it from here?” you ask and he nods. “Of course.” He passes through the portal, forcefully lifting Mordo from the ground and leading him to Kamar Taj. Now that he is unable to use magic, he will be contained. Perfect. “Is it the right time now? Because I have questions and you have the answers,” you hear Stephen say and turn towards him. He walks closer to you, and you grin. “I will answer three questions.”

“Three?!”

“Or I could just leave, whichever you prefer,” you shrug and he rolls his eyes. “Is this how difficult I am to deal with?”

“Well, considering this is the first and only time I’ve interacted with you and you need to know everything about me? Yes,” you turn and he follows you. “Fine. Three questions. Who are you?”

“(Y/n). Daughter of the Ancient One, most powerful sorcerer on Earth, last name unknown,” you answer and he raises his eyebrows. “A little cocky, don’t you think?”

“It’s only cocky when it isn’t true. I’m simply stating facts,” you shrug. He shakes his head. “How did you freeze Mordo like that?” You hold up your ring. “You didn’t think the eye of Agamotto was the only artifact that used the time stone, surely. There’s a chip in the stone, correct?”

“Yes.”

“That shard?” you tap the ring, “It’s welded into the metal of this ring. It’s small but has all the power of the Eye of Agamotto,” you explain and he hums in response. “And here I thought I was special.”

“You kind of are. Not many are able to do what you do, so be proud of it. You are the second most powerful sorcerer on Earth, after all. That’s an impressive feat,” you pat his shoulder and he scoffs slightly. “Second most…? Yeah, whatever. One more question?”

“One more question.”

“Come to the Sanctum? We can protect Earth together?”

“I can’t say yes to that just yet.”

“And why not?”

“It would be far too easy for you,” you respond with a smirk. You see a glint of excitement and determination in his eyes as you open a portal and step through it. “Will I see you again?”

“I said three—”

“I know. That one was rhetorical. I already know the answer,” he says with a wink, and you roll your eyes, closing the portal. You’ve spent years hearing about Doctor Stephen Strange from your mother. Now it seems you’ll spend years around him. He just has to catch you first.

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Misc. preference~ That ONE prank from X-files

I hope this is sort of what you were looking for Requester! I left out Harvey simply because I haven’t watched Sabrina in a long time and don’t think I could do him much justice but everyone else is still there! To save time, I’ll briefly describe the prank right here so I can just focus on their reactions/the specifics in their separate portions of this post.

Details of the prank for the non initiated: The victim gets inside of their car and finds a tape which, when played, tells the passenger (the victim) that there’s a bomb inside their vehicle set to explode the minute they open their car door. The passenger panics for a few moments before the door is opened from the outside, revealing the smiling face of the prankster; their gf/friend.

(Not my gifs)(Requested by anonymous)

R.J. MacReady

The fact that this is something that could very well happen to R.J. in real life; considering the fact that he’s living in a lawless land alongside occasionally hostile political rivals, is overshadowed by how quickly he grows accustomed to your mischievous nature. You’ll very rarely be able to genuinely “get him” when it comes to pranks so don’t be surprised when he doesn’t give you much of a reaction.

He’ll sit there very still while he listens to the tape and he’ll flinch and whip his head around once you open the door, his eyes bugging out of his head, but he won’t reward you with any words or a scream: he’ll just stare at you in silence, wondering if you’ve genuinely gone insane. Which is; honestly, reward enough when it comes to how he normally behaves in regards to your tomfoolery.

Expect the silent treatment: like genuine silent treatment. He isn’t even pouting, he’s just not talking to you; regardless of how much you apologize and offer different favors to make up for it. He isn’t actually mad at you; maybe a bit miffed and somewhat embarrassed by how his stomach dropped down to his ass in a matter of seconds, but he is still determined to get revenge on you and your groveling is amusing enough for him to consider it payback.

All things considered, he’ll find you annoying in the moment but in time, he’ll come to be one of those grumpy old men who, decades later, talk about how their wives were the bane of their existence and the love of their lives. Can’t live with them, can’t live without them, right?

Will Smith

You could have done half the work and pulled a very lame and very ordinary jump scare on him and he still would have reacted in the exact same way: completely over the top. Sorry sweetheart, but you’re dating the drama king supreme and that’s just a fact. Although, something tells me that you’re well aware of that and you’re very pleased about it; given the fact that you’re such a little prankster.

He plays the tape thinking he’s about to hear Whitney Houston or something, and all of a sudden he’s “being targeted in a revenge ploy against his judge uncle by a team of seasoned criminals who are now going to murder him with pyrotechnics”. He’s begging god and his “mama” to save him, crying like a baby, and, once you open the door, he’s screaming longer than an opera singers high note and flinging his hands out like he’s grasping towards his loved ones who are about to be murdered too far away from him to save them. What can I say, he’s a performer.

Once he realizes what happened, he’ll go quiet for a couple moments before flipping out: calling you a psycho and asking what the hell is wrong with you while getting more and more flustered as you laugh at his reactions; trying to play it off like he didn’t just deliver an Oscar winning performance right in front of your eyes. Be prepared for a bit of pouting as well, and some very poor attempts to “get you back” in the following few days.

Max Dennison

Max definitely doesn’t have a car so I don’t know how you’re pulling this one off, but I digress….

He’s one of the few people in this situation who won’t stay mad at you and that’s entirely because he doesn’t want you to think that he was too scared and subsequently think he’s lame. Like yes, he went wide eyed as the tape played and screamed when the door opened, and his voice may or may not have cracked while saying “so it was all a joke” but by god, he’s gonna laugh it off and nervously tell you how you “got him good” while trying to calm his beating heart. Either that, or he’ll insist that he was just playing along and that you didn’t get him at all.

That being said: get ready for him to be touchy with you for the rest of the night, not because he enjoyed your prank but because he needs a little emotional aftercare after the bullshit you just put him through. Give him a hug you monster.

[iwantjobs]

5/30/2024: If Trump chooses Nikki Haley as the running mate, I am not going to vote for Trump. I will not vote for anyone in 2024 because no American politicians, especially a female with children, should draw art saying "America loves Israel" and "Get them" on bombs which are used to kill Gazan children as 30% of the population while trying to kill off Hamas terrorists in land Jesus was born. I don't think Jesus would approve. Have a bit of modesty in war if you praise yourselves higher than terrorists--if you don't then your mentality is the same as terrorists making you as democracy terrorists while using Jesus' name when Jesus already suffered so much being nailed naked. That is a true moderate thinking. Trang at 50.16 years old. Some commentator on the Internet said it's art that Nikki Haley scribbled those words on American bombs finances by my hard-earned less violent and even non-violent money. My answer is, *Indeed it was art. Nikki Haley drew Satan's art on American bombs by writing words of "America loves Israel and "Get them" which will be used to bomb Gazan babies. Not on my American money.". Trang's thinking at 50.16 years old. In fact, if Trump gets too loud about sending bombs to Israel like Mike Johnson and his people, I won't vote for Trump either. I won't vote in 2024 because don't want to have a genocide as part of my bad karma. OK I made my decision. I am so mad at the Godly people of this country for bombing babies in Gaza while they're trying to to save babies in the women's wombs, I am not voting for anyone in 2024. Done. Many thanks to today's homemade physical therapy of neck stretching which reduced my neck and head pain to come to this no vote for anyone who support bombing Gazan babies in this 2024 Presidential election. I am not going to side with Santa and bomb babies to kill off Hamas terrorists in land where Jesus was born especially if the land belongs to dark skinned people like the Hamas terrorists and the Palestinians because Gaza is right next to the mouth of black Africa; and especially the Hamas terrorists are no America 's direct enemies for they are Israeli 's direct enemies because Israel stole their land in which their ancestors and them have been living and building for the last 400 years which is similarly to the same amount of time the ancestors of the Americans came to America. Be careful Americans, karma will whip your ass by sending bombs to Israel in the future after we die to have a force higher than you and take back the land that you and your white ancestors have been occupying and stole from the native Americans for your time line in America is the same time line as the Palestinians living in that region. OK I am out of here to work on relinquishing my genocide, gay, and Spanish as 2nd language American eternally and go back where I belong if it's not too gay, Vietnam, or else Cambodia or Laos; and if Asia is too gay for its getting gayish in China too, I'll put black bed sheet over me and go to Iran. Take care folks, and remember stealing and violence are only bandage solutions if you truly believe in God (Jesus' father) for God is supposed to be love and peace. On the other hand, Satan loves stealing and violence.

fYI Godly American suckers, it will be my old Trump's compensation lawsuit which I lost in the U.S. Supreme Court that will get Trump's fat ass out of prison or perhaps pay his fat ass handsomely once his general attorney uses my lawsuit as reference to sue the people who launched the new vote by mail system for product defect for that voting system allowed 3 votes for some lucky people and votes for dead people and violated the Constitution where it says only one vote per person in a democracy.

[thequietmanno1]

Thelreads, MHA 284, Replies Part 1

1) “It’s time for us to continue, and today we’ll see Midoriya kicking ass and taking names to avenge all the people that died so far. The battle has been elevated to new heights, so let us jump in Chapter 284: Deep Blue Battle

I said new heights Horikoshi, that name implies that the battle is taking place in the bottom of the ocean”- Well, if Tomura’s Decay keeps on going to its logical conclusion, now that the limiting fetter of the blowback on his body is gone, then theoretically, he could just….keep the Decay wave going until there’s nothing left of Japan but Sea and Sky. A battle upon the Earth is one wherein he rules supreme, so the only way to fight him is in one of those two arenas….assuming he can’t figure out how to make Decay work underwater. God, can you imagine the consequences of that? Global annihilation in 7 days, tops. 2) “Yeah Midoriya, but remember that air particles are physical objects, meaning that he can technically destroy everything with decay even while flying.

…

I hope horikoshi didn’t thought about this.”- Tomura’s already destruction incarnate, don’t go making him further OP by applying scientific logic to his superpowered abilities! It’s bad enough when Jojo characters start working science facts into their Stand powers for maximum carnage. 3) “Well, I mean, that was quite the leap in power you just took, you could barely keep Black whip under check on close-combat and now you’re using it on long-ranges and flying

I’m surprised your body didn’t just disintegrated itself with all that energy. Adrenaline is a hell of a drug indeed”- Thankfully, so far it seems the other Quirks within OFA don’t have the physical blowback and potential crippling effect on Midoria’s body as the main super-strength enhancement does. Exceeding his control just seems to come with pain and a loss of control over said particular ability, which in Black Whip’s case just means the power lines disintegrate before he’s finished using them. I wonder what losing control over Float would be like- Instantly plummeting to the Earth, or flying off randomly in another direction all of a sudden? 4) “Rest at ease Endeavor, you did your part, there are no more roads for you to destroy, now it’s time for the real heroes to step up and show what they are made of

Also, after that city-sized blanket of fire you deployed a few chapters ago I’m surprised you’re still standing.”- Spite and Stubbornness is also one hell of a drug. Endeavour will fall down when the job of the Number One Hero is done, no sooner or later. That said, currently he’s just not able to perform as the Number One Hero, because the sheer power on display before him in these two children makes it clear that he’s just a side character to their fight, not a main performer in his own right. Outdone by a Kid who’s still in middle school and a dropout who did All the body enhancements – that’s gotta sting. 5) “Have you guys tried to forcefully open Aizawa’s eyelids and make him stare at Shigaraki? I mean, I know it probably won’t work since he’s unconscious, but… You know, it doesn’t cost anything trying something stupid”- well….not to put too fine a point on it, but if you look closely at the way Tomura’s fingers were gouging into the surface of Aizawa’s skull on his last attack, he may not actually have any eyes to open anymore. 6) “If only Uraraka was here, we could’ve finished shigaraki by throwing him into space like Kars. I wonder how long it would be until he stopped thinking.”- Unfortunately, unlike Kars, Tomura has enough underdog experience and the same bullshit “I can do anything I want” powerset, so even if we did chuck him into the Stratosphere, he’d instantly be able to adapt and figure out a workaround using his stockpiled Quirk abilities to get back down to Earth. Kars spent all his time in the manga being Superior to all, and like many OP villains it was his lack of being put into a corner that undid him in the end. However, unlike him, or even AFO, Tomura’s been nothing but an underdog this whole time, having to struggle and learn and adapt to the world, even with AFO’s manipulative backing supporting him, and it means that he’s used to being in a corner- hell, the more the heroes force him into one, the happier and more ferocious he gets in a fight, because that’s home territory for him. 7) “Shigaraki this is not the moment for a battle of wits, don’t try to be funny, also Midoriya is not going to heaven anyway so that’s a double no.”- Well, it’s easy to win a battle of witty banter when your enemy’s only retort is crazed screaming and trying to punch your head off. Smack-talk in a fight is Bakugo’s forte, not Izuku’s, he’s just down for the murdering at this point.

8) “Alright Midoriya is definitely not up for chatting anyway, he’s going into murder mode and by god I feel the flying broccoli is not gonna stop until someone is dead.”- See, that’s the problem. The heroes have already subjected Tomura to enough damage to easily kill him serveral times over, not to mention Izuku punching him several times at 100%. He started this fight being clinically dead – he just won’t stay that way if he feels he’s still got a job to do. 9) “Alright Bakugo, now the moment of truth, are you gonna sit there and sulk about not being as good as midoriya, or are you going to jump up there and fight till someone is dead?”- He’s not sulking because he’s not as good as Midoira – Bakugou’s a little too pro-active to stay on his ass and mope- he’s afraid because he’s not as good as Midoira, simply not capable of keeping up with his sheer levels of speed and power to actively make a difference in this fight, and thus step in to restrain his not-a-friend rival from going too far trying to beat Tomura in a battle of endurance. Izuku has shown time and again that yes, he can win fights on his own, but he’s simply too reckless and lacking in self-preservation to avoid going over the limit doing that solo. Every major fight he’s had, he always won through teamwork and support in the end to come out the other side unscathed, and those he couldn’t, left a lasting mark, like Muscular. The rub is that, given enough time, any other Quirk could theoretically have the sheer levels of power of AFO and OFA, if there was a way to preserve and refine them over the years, but due to AFO’s manipulations and striking whilst the iron is still hot, fresh off the heels of All Might’s retirement, there’s simply not any other valid candidate who could sub in to cover Midoria in this clash of Titans. Both Quirks are in a league of their own, but whilst it’s good that the heroes have something like OFA to counter AFO, it’s also bad because it’s been made clear time and again that Izuku just can’t win without a severe cost if he fights solo, and he’s not being given any choice but to do that to protect the weaker heroes on the field. 10) “Oh here comes a flashback, let us see what’s gonna propel bomberboy into the skies”- Guilt, regret angst, appologies yet to be said – you know, That Good Shit for character development. 11) “OHHHH IT’S THE CUTE THREE, I WASN’T EXPECTING THAT

ALSO, WHAT COULD BAKUGO POSSIBLY WANT AS HELP, BAKUGO NEVER ASKS FOR HELP ANYWAY, EVEN WHEN HE SHOULD”- Bakugo’s “train Izuku by blowing him up until he gets it” tactic isn’t working out so good, so they need somebody to sub in whilst All Might tries unsuccessfully to get him to reign it in. 12) “But okay, I can see why he asked those three, they are the ones that are used to moving stuff around with their powers, they are the best options. He could’ve asked Aizawa as well, since he uses his battle scarf, but, that works.”- Their powers combined also basically emulate the ful range and power/flexibility of the Float + Black Whip combo, Sero being able to shoot out and reel in tape from afar to move, Tsuyu’s tongue basically being a black whip, with her free range of flexibility and strength put through it, and Uraraka’s Anti-Gravity giving Izuku a feel for what it’s like to fly untethered. I do like that they included this both to illustrate how Izuku isn’t losing control of this new power when he’s in a situation where he needs to keep it active (granted, in simply holding Tomura aloft whist he repeatedly blasts him he doesn’t need much fine control or direction other than making sure he doesn’t punch him too close to the ground) but also to illustrate the other unspoken point that vexes Bakugo in the present- it takes three of his fellow classmates working together to emulate a situation that Izuku can do solo, again showing the sheer power gap between him and every other student, and how, despite their wishes to aid him, no one hero can possibly step in to support Izuku in a fight that pushes him to his utmost limits, because his limits are simply that far beyond anybody that was born with a natural Quirk. 13) “OH MY GOD YOU KIDS

AND OF COURSE URARAKA IS THE ONE TO CALL HIM OUT ON IT, EVEN THOUGH THIS TIME IT WAS MIDORIYA’S FAULT”-  Bakugo’s manoeuvrability and sheer speed in a 3-D environment surpasses Iida’s, as long as they’re not racing across a flat plane, so trying to get the hang of Black Whip’s fine control via tagging him is a good idea….except for the fact that he also “penalises” you with an explosion every time you miss. Probably good training for izuku’s durability though. 14) “YEAH SEE, EVEN PHILL SWIFT AGREES WITH ME ON THAT ONE”- Aizawa’s sure been having a rough time of it this week. Learned your friend was frankenstiend back to life, had to watch another hero sacrifice himself to save you, put yourself at risk to stop a calamity that’s targeting your kids specifically and got absolutely mangled for it…. And he still doesn’t even know that he was the real reason behind Shirakumo’s transformation, that he just very narrowly avoided having that fate for himself by his friend’s sacrifice… 15) “All Might dodged the question there, I bet they asked Aizawa and he told them to piss off.”- Not inaccurate. Like, All Might probably avoided asking him in the first place because he could see how that conversation was going to go, but Aizawa would not have been in a cheery mood to any shmuck that actually dared to ask him to be a teacher whilst he was drowning in his old reopened angst. 16) “…

oh, right, I… forgot about that. ): “- Bakugo’s not the only one dealing with childhood trauma today, though Aizawa’s is from the perspective of the victim, rather than Bakugo retroactively coming to terms with the fact that he was the aggressor towards Izuku and his own poor self-esteem issues. 17) “And god I hope Midoriya paid attention to Professor Uraraka’s class, because he’s definitely gonna need it back in the present.”- He just has to keep himself and Tomura up in the air simultaneously whilst making sure to land his own shots into Tomura’s face and dodging his decay touch every time he reels him in for a punch, like the world’s deadliest game of hot potato. Should be no more complicated than patting your head and rubbing your stomach simultaneously, whilst singing the national anthem in a foreign language, wherein you die if you flub a single step of that. 18) “And also gonna comment about how now Midoriya and Uraraka have the same quirk technically speaking, but instead let me focus on the fact we’re probably gonna have All Might giving a motivational speech to a sulking Bakugo that is gonna make him spring into action back in the present before being immediately destroyed by decay.”- Actually, it’s more along the lines of Bakugo being the one to give the motivational speech and everything, having finally come to accept his failings and regrets about them, and desire to make amends for his past missteps. In a small quiet, personal, talk with All Might even, the exact opposite of his usual loud, brash demeanour, making it clear that he means this. Even since his and Izuku’s last fight, he’s come to accept where he went wrong and the burden of responsibility that’s been placed on Izuku, and now, first and foremost, he’s concerned with making sure that burden doesn’t crush him underneath its weight.

@thelreads

[writer59january13]

Precious priceless progeny

Hands down the most dramatic change ever needed to make the most profound impact awoke from helping beget the first offspring. An internal paradigm shift reshuffled priorities such that the helpless newborn necessitated immediate attention.

Whatever task held my attention at a given time, the cry of said progeny triggered and quickly trained an obligation to become a first responder of sorts. Yes, I readily admit that at first blush selflessness grudgingly accepted, but quickly an avid enthusiasm became manifest.

Matter of fact (and much to the surprise to this chap who never served as caretaker for infants, nor young children), an instinctual natural protection arose concomitantly with attention, affection, and adoration as the ensuing years tending (to thine eldest daughter and approximately twenty six plus months later another heiress begat), this role of fatherhood entranced, galvanized, and inspired me toward increased selflessness. The overpowering raw emotional of first time fatherhood emotional, financial, and spiritual impact shook my entire corporeal being to experience supreme tenderness, which set me to step up affinity to write (poetry seemed a natural modus operandi de jure, which sample seems apropos to share at this juncture. Though thee empty nest syndrome long since elapsed, I happened upon thee following verse while scrolling along memory lane recording incipient onset of parenthood, when the missus underwent routine planned parenthood in College approximately two score and eight earth orbitz ago late March/early April ninety ninty six.

December 22nd 1996 bundle of edenic joy

Twenty seven years plus ago

faux cap’n Matthew Scott twittered n burst with ahoy

on account of thine first borne – unbeknownst to us then if a girl or boy

so an unusual assortment

of gender appropriate names –

(some brazen others coy others an utter embarassment verbal remonstration our offspring

especially when older, would deploy)

filled pages of our journals, viz newly minted parent’s endless employ though of Semitic ancestry choices

per namesake reflected more ova goy which genealogy less significant than precious progeny healthily fused vis a vis via being masterfully charged two sets regarding

twenty three pairs of chromosomes

that did miraculously alloy

into a healthy genetically whipped miracle –

crème of the crop that only imaginary dragons

reigning over a vampire weeknd with fiery red hot

chili peppered lyrics could drop,

whereby flute tour ring notes

induced crowdsource to hip hop calisthenics that emulated

swishing brush strokes of a mop

which if attempted by myself,

would witness one culled sic pop so, he sticks with ranks, viz his literate ass spur ray shun to confess

those thermostatic and temperature controlled emotions more or less

extolling occasions that held poignancy, though as a first time father

my state of managing a newborn

felt chaotic and a sorry mess

though words resonated less gifted with beautiful daughter, she most likely happened

to be oblivious asper YES

mine hand felt hogtied,

yet over ensuing years – the integration characterizing Rites of (aiding) spring our suite firebird did indelibly impress

an invaluable psychic ring, whereby initial awkward role

no longer on par to foster teaching child autonomy for her existence,

(albeit demanding at times – synonymous with any other

infantile pang), thine essence acquired an acute attentiveness

to her basic needs and wants

likened and linkedin to pay obeisance

per a special offering, whose absence and permanent separation

as a responsible grown woman

makes mine heart didst grow fond (and psyche doth twinge

with nostalgia) asper those long day's journey

into night, when I could attest

she declared and constituted

daddy's girl, yet mandatory to let go of this biological offshoot

part of me (within human league to the babyhood, childhood, and emerging adulthood

attended, mollycoddled, pampered

she extruded, and had me

wrapped around her little finger cuz, now perhaps happiness sprung from within herself

she sought guiding light

as days of our live sped by at lightspeed now, a mixed bag of emotions wrestle and roil

inside mine corporeal being,

I praised and prized accomplishments (rarely admonished) spurred by natural borne desires

for potential Atalanta,

(who loved running until an injury

brought said passion to screeching halt),

nevertheless she became independent

rather than shutter herself up

as exemplified by das papa,

who still writhes, seethes, and orates many forfeited explorations

of natural self discovery thwarted

renting my psyche asunder

with lightning mailer daemons still on the prowl

and trawling like bot size internet trolls

within the windmills of my mind

essentially futilely explaining mein kampf and hard times impressionable years of emotional, financial, interpersonal and social toil

repercussions forever unfairly induced

upon the darling lass pronounced upon this star student,

who suffered sheer agony

when asked – by classmates -

the vocations of me “Herr father

or Frau mother,” neither gainfully employed,

which vicarious taboo

(county assistance still evokes stigma,

particularly for outliers like us living social along MainLine) zapped, tortured, inflicted crisis nearly destroyed yours truly,

cuz of utter embarrassment, misery, writhing really vociferously

within genetic blend, whose love not asked for nor sought unequivocally.

[courtforshort15]

Drinking Buddies

Pairing: Matt Murdock x fem!reader

Other characters: Jessica Jones

Summary: Your friendship with Jessica Jones is solely based on drinking and giving Matt Murdock a hard time. You think it's the best thing ever.

Word Count: Just about 1,800

Trigger warning: Characters are drinking

Masterlist

Your vision is absolutely swimming and the noise of the bar isn't any less overwhelming. Loud conversations, louder music, the stale scent of beer floating around you. It's a lot, but you're gonna power through it like the badass bitch that you are because you're not ready to call it quits for the night. You forcibly swallow down the nausea.

Spitters are quitters.

You're not quite sure if the phrase necessarily applies to alcohol, but the sentiment is there.

"You good?" You snap your head around, noticing that Jessica is eyeing you in amusement. The sharp movement causes your head to spin.

"Wha--? I uh...yeah," you tell her disjointedly before offering a wide, drunken smile. "I'm good. Like realllly good."

Jessica snorts before tossing another shot back. She's not exactly sober either, but she's definitely better off than you right now. "You sure? Because you kinda look like you're about to fall off the chair and crack your head open."

"You'd catch me before that happens."

"Would I though?" She says it in such a blasé tone that you find yourself struggling to figure out if she actually would just let you fall.

Would she?

Fuck. You don't know.

"I'd press charges if you didn't," you threaten, doing your best to glare at her. It doesn't work, mostly because there's two of her and you don't know which one to focus on. "It would be all your fault."

"I don't think not stopping you from falling counts as a crime."

"That's what you think," you disagree, and the words could not sound more slurred. "The Supreme Court probably disagrees with you on that."

"Funnily enough, I don't think they'd give a shit," she says dryly.

"We could look at filing a civil case, if nothing else," a familiar voice pops up behind you. "Sue her for all she's worth. Which probably isn't much, if we're being honest."

Your head whips around, and you find yourself wobbling in your chair, teetering on the edge. A hand snaps out to settle you. Matt's face is full of concern, his other hand reaching out to grab the glass of water that's resting in front of you, wordlessly encouraging you to drink it.

"Aw man," you sigh, shooting Jessica the stink eye as you regain your balance and push the water away. "Why is he here?"

"You suggested karaoke. We all know you're too far gone when you hit that point."

"You're a goddamn traitor, Jessica. You didn't need to call him."

"He's your husband," Jessica states flatly.

"He's boring," you complain drunkenly. Her eyebrows raise in humor as she glances at him in consideration before nodding in agreement. "He never lets me stay out late."

"He's standing right here," Matt says dryly. His hand rests at your back as if nervous you're going to fall off your chair. Which, fair. You're pretty wasted. "And he's here to take you home."

"You weren't supposed to rat me out," you try glaring at Jessica again. Her smirk tells you you're unsuccessful in intimidating her.

Having super powered friends sucks.

"I didn't rat you out," she tosses back nonchalantly. "He already knew we were gonna be here. He was probably listening from a few blocks away the whole time like a weirdo."

Matt doesn't deny it.

"Yes, but you weren't supposed to actually call him."

"I may be able to lift a car, but I am sure as shit not carrying your drunk ass home. That's what husbands are for," Jessica tells you bluntly, but she's still smirking. "I am here to drink with you, not deal with you after."

You gasp, hand flying to your chest, absolutely wounded. "Rude. Why are we even friends?"

"Mostly because you like having someone else around to call Murdock out on his shit."

You ponder it for a second, then nod. "That is a fair point. Hey! Do you want to come over for waffles? Waffles sound amazing right now and we have a fantastic waffle maker at home."

Matt opens his mouth. "I don't think--"

"Shush, Matthew, the grown-ups are talking," you interrupt, placing a finger over his lips. He gives you an unamused look and smacks your hand away.

Jessica absolutely cackles.

"As much as that sounds like a great time, I'm going to pass on this one. I've seen you puke enough times."

"I'm not going to puke! You have zero faith in me."

"I can practically see your mouth salivating from here. You're like twenty minutes away from it."

You do a quick check in with your body and determine she's...probably not wrong.

"Okay, but you've still only seen me puke like twice."

"And that was more than enough," she says flatly. She tosses her credit card on to the bar top after glancing at the no doubt hefty bar tab the two of you have racked up. Matt throws his own card out to split the bill. What a wonderful husband, taking one for the team. "I have no interest seeing your dinner and the seven shots you knocked down come back up."

"Seven?" Matt asks incredulously.

"And three beers," Jessica adds, not so helpfully.

Matt looks decidedly not thrilled. "Fantastic."

"It was a rough day at work, Matt," you moan miserably, briefly burying your face in your hands for maximum effect as you unsuccessfully fake an excuse for being drunk off your ass. "I deserved it."

"It's Saturday. You didn't have work today."

A brief pause.

"Yesterday was a rough day at work," you amend. He's not impressed.

"You're a horrible influence on her," Matt states as he gives Jessica a look that suggests he's pretty annoyed. The woman shrugs, unconcerned.

"Your wife is a disaster all on her own, pal," she says with a grin.

"I'm the disaster?" You ask in mock outrage. "No, no, no, dear friend. Matt is the human disaster. Can't even go a week without needing stitches or blaming himself for all of the world's problems."

Jessica snorts. "You're not wrong there."

"I think it's time to leave, sweetheart." Matt pockets his wallet once the bartender hands him back his credit card. Jessica signs the receipt for him. You glance briefly at the total that's been charged to his card and decide to not to tell him what it is, knowing he won't be happy about the amount. He'll find out later, anyway.

Whoops.

"But it's only like 10pm," you protest loudly to Matt, shoving the issue of the credit card bill aside and focusing on the more important things. "It's too early, the party's just getting started."

"It's almost 2am."

"Oh," is all you say before eyeing Matt suspiciously. "Did you finish your patrol early just to come harrass me then?"

He doesn't answer, just continues to look like he can't decide if he's amused or exasperated that he's probably going to have to literally drag you out of here.

So that's a yes.

"Okay, so the party's already in full s-swing," you hiccup. You're determined to succesfully plead your case. "We still have at least another hour before bars close."

"We both know you're already going to be a mess with how much you've had to drink so far," Matt replies as he shakes his head. "Let's not push it. It's late and we have plans with your parents at 11am."

"I'm not sure using logic with her will work right now," Jessica tells him looking almost bored. "You gotta treat drunks like children."

"I'm sure you have plenty of experience being on the receiving end of that," Matt fires back. Jessica just shrugs because everyone knows he's completely right. "But I think I know how to handle my drunk wife."

"I'm just saying," she holds her hands up in mock surrender. "Might help if you treat her like she's the nicest baby drunk you've ever seen."

"Yeah, daddy, you gotta be nice to me," you slur, patting his chest. The glare Matt sends your way causes you to erupt into drunken giggles. "Whoops, sorry. Forgot he doesn't like it when I call him daddy in public. That's a bedroom only thing."

"Christ," Matt hisses under his breath.

Jessica laughs with absolute glee. She lowers her voice significantly so that only the three of you can hear her. "Never letting that one go. The Daddy of Hell's Kitchen."

You shriek with laughter, causing nearby patrons to look at you in annoyance. You lower your voice to a slurring whisper. You're absolutely fucked up on alcohol at the moment, but you're not interested in outing his identity. "Daredaddy has a nice ring to it, too."

Jessica's grin is absolutely merciless as she hones in on more ways to tease your husband. She's a great a friend like that. "Daddydevil could also work."

"Oh, I like that one. What about--"

"We're done here," Matt interrupts you before you can continue, grabbing your jacket and purse off your bar stool. "Come on sweetheart, it's time to go home."

"Noooo," you whine, trying to push him away. Matt doesn't so much as budge, the asshole. "Jessica and I are still having fun. Go be a Debbie Downer somewhere else."

"I am having a ton of fun right now," Jessica says before taking another shot. When did she get another shot? You want one. "Please, tell me more of your bedroom secrets. This is great."

Your eyes light up. "Okay! So Matt really likes it when he gets to--"

"No," Matt groans, throwing his head back as he no doubt prays for patience. "She doesn't need to know anything, it's none of her business."

"But she's my friend," you tell him, feeling a full blown pout coming on. He's generally immune them, but you try anyway. "Girls share these types of things."

"She's not a girl," Matt all but snaps, and he looks extremely irritated at this point. "She's a menace."

You turn to Jessica, eyebrows raised, offended that your husband is being so rude to your friend. "When did he get this grumpy?" You ask her in a stage whisper. "Do you think I need to suck his cock more? Maybe I should--"

You're abruptly dragged out of your seat and yanked towards the door before you can finish what you're saying, Matt's cane angrily tapping in front of him. You giggle, finding it funny that he's so pissed, he's barely pretending to use it.

Jessica is absolutely howling behind you, and Matt throws a middle finger her way before pulling you through the exit door of the bar.

"Bye Jessica!" You screech at her on your way out. Jessica waves, laughing too hysterically to say anything back. "I love you!"

You manage to not puke until you're home, so you count it as a wildly successful ladies night out. Matt glowers as he holds your hair back. "You're never hanging out with Jessica again."

Joke's on him. You've already made plans with her for next weekend, and Karen and Claire will be joining.

It will be magical.

[pyrrhiccomedy]

Rating The Major Early Christian Heresies

(Note: I am leaving out gnosticism and Manicheanism. Gnosticism is a bucket term for too many different beliefs to summarize succinctly; I could do a whole post just rating different gnostic beliefs. And the Manicheans were not even really Christian. It was a totally separate religion that blended Christianity, gnosticism, mithraism, neo-Platonism, and even Buddhism. For the record, the gnostics and the Manicheans are both 10/5 fucking chad heroes of weird esoteric Christian-adjacent religious bullshit.

Note 2: "Where are the Cathars!" "Where are the Bogomils!" I said EARLY Christian heresies. I ain't here to talk about no johnny-come-latelies.)

Docetism: Jesus was a hologram. Because the world of matter is inherently corrupt, it is inconceivable that Christ ever had a physical form. His apparent """body""" was a phantom, or illusion. This inherently denies the death and resurrection, as there was no body to die or resurrect.

5/5 stars, this is the kind of wet and wild shit I like to see.

Montanism: Super into prophesizing, and they believed that anything revealed to them as a prophesy in the grips of religious ecstasy superceded the word of Christ himself.

3/5 stars: you're on extremely shaky theological ground here, but I like the potential for shenanigans, and I give them an extra half a star for letting women be bishops.

Adoptionism: Jesus was a normal guy, conceived in the regular way, who God adopted upon seeing that he lived a sinless life. They believed that Jesus only attained his divine status after his adoption.

4/5 stars, because imagine you're Jesus in this scenario. What a weird day that must have been.

Sabellianism: If you can't wrap your head around the Trinity at all, this is the heresy for you. Adherents of Sabellianism believed that there was no difference between the 'persons' of the Godhead: there is just the one God, who manifests himself at different times and for different purposes in different ways.

3/5 stars because it makes a lot more sense than the canonical interpretation, but it doesn't whip any ass, you know?

Arianism: This one holds that Christ was created by God, but is not the same as God. It demotes Jesus to being kind of like a lesser deity. This one has really stuck around, it's cropped up over and over again throughout the centuries. The Jehovah's Witnesses believe a version of Arianism.

4/5 stars just for being the last man standing.

Pelagianism: Pelagians rejected the doctrine of Original Sin and the belief in humanity's inherently sinful nature. Official Catholic doctrine holds that man is doomed to sin, and only by God's grace can he transcend his total depravity. But the Pelagians believed that you don't actually need God's grace or intervention (which includes, you know, Christ's entire existence and ministry) in order to do God's will and lead a good life: you can just...choose to be good.

5/5 stars, these sound like really nice people.

Donatism: So if I'm a bishop or whatever, and I administer a sacrament to you (baptism, making you a priest, etc), and then I am subsequently excommunicated, the Donatists believed that my excommunication rendered every sacrament I had ever administered null and void. I'm gonna be honest, I don't think this one holds water at all, and I bet these people were pretty insufferable. Basically what they're saying is that in order to serve the church you need to be absolutely pure and without sin: which no one is, except for, apparently, the Donatists themselves.

No stars.

Marcionism: The god of the old testament and the god of the new testament are two different gods. The god of the old testament they called the Demiurge, and should be understood to be the god of the Jews, who were still due a messiah; and the god of the new testament was the Supreme God, who sent Jesus Christ in order to reveal himself.

5/5 stars. This is Judeo-Christian polytheism and I'm fucking here for it. Plus, after Marcion was done editing everything out of the new testament scriptures that contradicted him, all he was left with were like 10 of Paul's letters and a highly edited version of the Gospel of Luke. The brass balls on this guy for saying that every other apostle could eat his shit gets this one a whole extra star.

Monophysitism: Christ was not human at all but fully divine. Docetism can be viewed as a kind of Monophysite heresy, but the Monophysites did believe that Christ was physically on Earth. They just didn't think he had a human nature and believed he was incapable of suffering.

2/5 stars because Christ's humanity is obviously what actually makes him interesting and his suffering is what makes his sacrifice meaningful. Doctrinally they're on pretty firm ground though, the early church easily could have broken their way. Emperor Justinian I wanted this to become orthodoxy, but he died before his plans could go into effect.

Apollinarianism: Jesus had a normal human body and a normal human soul, but he was fucking mind controlled to spread the word of God. He had no conscious mind of his own and was born into this world solely in order to serve as a meat-sleeve for the eternal Logos.

5/5 stars. What the fuck. What the fuck.

[astaroth1357]

request: an MC thats very good w playing games or like,,, is proficiently skilled in all game categories or smrhn

alsp hi xander i love ur writing

and can i giv u a kith? if so: mwah 😚

Well I hate to tell ya, sweetie, but I’m not Xander. I’m Jazzy. Hello! I can see why you’d want something written by Xander, though. He’s mad talented (better at this than I am quite frankly) and he’s on the list of people I wish I could write as well as. I guess we can both take a moment to be sad that I’m not Xander… *sigh*... to be Xander… 😔

Oh well, I am who I am and I don’t begrudge that fact. Meanwhile, I’ve wanted to do more shout-outs so everybody go read @sevendeadlymorons! If you’re not… I mean… why not? He’s more than worth your time. In the meantime, I hope I can entertain you despite my not-Xanderness.

Brothers React to an MC Who’s Good at Games and Stuff 

Lucifer

Honestly couldn’t care less about the MC’s game proficiency in most cases. So they’re good at games? Good for them, he’s sure they’re happy.

But when they’re playing against him on the other hand…

Well, Lucifer may or may not be skilled at whatever game you set him on (he’s a very quick learner so never underestimate him), but he’s whole new levels of competitive when he wants to be. ESPECIALLY if he already thinks he’s hot shit at something.

Video games? Not his forte. Table top games? One word for you: Chess.

Lucifer believes that he can and will whip pretty much anyone’s ass in chess. That includes Satan, Solomon, Levi, and even Diavolo. He is at grandmaster level.

So imagine his shock, no, his disdain to have lost a game of chess to the MC… The moment they said "Checkmate" he stared at the board in front of them for a solid five minutes trying to work out where he went wrong…

And he wasn’t having that.

He and the MC now have regular chess matches in which he wins some and loses some so the tally stays pretty evenly tied. Really it’s all good fun... (but if they think he’s going to let them go home when he’s on a losing count, they’re Dead. Wrong. He’ll drag them back to down just to play chess with him until the score is right again. He DOES NOT lose, you hear? 🤨).

Mammon

Guess who’s found his gambling buddy?? 

No, really. He and the MC can make a KILLING at a Poker or Blackjack table! He’s never seen anyone better at poker than they are!! They have nerves of steel and give nothing away, so he’s lost more than a few hands to them before...

Even past the casinos, they’re perfect for making bets on! He once arranged a Devil Cart competition between the MC and Levi and took bets around RAD for who’d win...

Naturally, everybody assumed the Devildom’s resident Super-Otaku would win hands down, but the MC had this insane last minute save with a blue shell and pulled ahead in the last lap!!

He was like, the only person that bet on the MC and he got soooo much money that MC found HIM crying and hugging a bag of Grimm after the match…

Any time they win a game that gets him money, he’ll treat them like royalty for the next week. Man knows not to bite the hand that feeds him!... and creditors at bay... 😬

It may get slightly annoying that Mammon won't stop telling them about gaming competitions where they can get him more prize money, but hey, at least he's supportive, I guess.

Leviathan

Oh they are either his best friend or mortal enemy… Sometimes both in the same day.

Our boy hates losing, can't stand it any better than Lucifer, you KNOW the second he knows there's someone out there who even has a chance of beating him, he gets serious. This is not a "friendly rivalry," MC.

When they’re playing any game against each other, he'll call them by their gamertag/online persona to keep himself focused (yes, even if they’re playing Monopoly). They can't be his MC right now, they gotta be the person he's going to beat...

He's NOT opposed to dirty tactics to win, either. Saying things that will get them mad or flustered mid-match? Check. Using his tail to distract or tease them? Check. Just being a general nuisance/annoyance in game for the hell of it? Guilty as charged!

He's both a sore winner AND a sore loser, so unfortunately MC, you really can't win here... He'll be obnoxious regardless of the outcome.

However… when they’re on the same team, it's really something special. They don't just destroy the competition, they bulldoze over them like an armored tank barreling through rush hour traffic!

These two are legends in the online gaming community and have even started a streaming channel on the side. Sometimes your worst enemies also make the best allies... Who knew? 🤷‍♀️

Satan

Is surprisingly impressed by their gaming prowess. Are they just supremely skilled or incredibly lucky, you think…?

That being said, he's not the biggest gaming man on the planet so he's not too competitive with them one way or the other.

When Satan plays a video game, he usually goes for story-based, single-person experiences anyway so it's not like he could compete with them even if he wanted to.

That being said, they do share an informal challenge of sorts when it comes to puzzle/detective games (a not so guilty pleasure of his). He likes to try and beat the levels first, so when they start playing a new one they'll both compare time spent and scores.

He even enjoys playing those Devildom-style AR murder mystery games with them! It’s pretty cute to watch Satan get into it, he dips into his inner Levi and cosplays as some of his favorite TV drama detectives for the occasion and insists they dress as his co-star (best just go along with him. It’s not a bad time, even if they have to carry around an old tobacco pipe for a few hours).

Asmodeus

Good at games? That sounds dangerously like they're another Levi… 🙄 What about party games? Oh oh, or drinking games??

Actually scratch that. How about ANY game while drunk? That sounds pretty fun doesn’t it??

Like Drunk Truth or Dare!! Oh that's a favorite of his… 🤭

To be fair to the MC, the booze does diminish their skills somewhat (because that's kind of what it does in general) but not by all that much… It's pretty impressive.

He once challenged them to a game of Drunk Twister figuring that they'd be too unsteady to actually win for once, but no. If anything, the alcohol must have numbed the stretching pains because they bent over him like a pretzel!

Not that he was complaining or anything… 😏

He likes to take the MC to parties where he knows a game or two will be played just to show off to the crowd and brag that they’re HIS lovely, talented human! You go, MC, beat that competition to a pulp! 😌

Beelzebub

Sports count as games too, right? Well, they aren't half bad at those either.

Beel found it surprising that he found a human who could actually keep up with him. His brothers rarely want to play practice games with him anyway so it’s pretty exciting to have a sports partner at home!

He likes to ask the MC to help him train with practice matches or to go over certain moves or maneuvers he’s having trouble with. It’s not uncommon for the brothers to come home and find the two of them tossing a ball around in the front yard or something.

And the both of them on the same team? Forget it. It takes the dream team of Lucifer and Mammon (who aren’t just arguing with each other for once) to even come close to a challenge for them.

He also enjoys playing the occasional video game with them, though he treats it a lot like playing with Levi and just assumes he’ll never win unless he gets lucky - which does happen from time to time.

He doesn’t mind losing that much as long as he’s having fun, and if nothing else he can always win against them in an eating contest… He’s got those on lockdown. Come at’em MC, he’ll pack away an entire fridge before you’re done with your first plate. Try him.

Belphegor

So Belphie enjoys a good game or two - video-based or otherwise - it comes with the lazy-bastard territory. He may not be as skilled as Levi, but he can hold his own in some genres.

But he’s given up on beating the MC looong ago.

Do you know how much practice it would take? How many hours that he would have to use?? The hours where he could be napping instead???  Yeah, no thanks. They can continue to be the reigning Super Smash Devils champion for all he cares.

Buuuut even he has to admit, it’s pretty relaxing to watch the MC play something in the background... There’s a certain sort of satisfaction to watching someone who’s good at a game just play it straight through.

If they’re set up in Levi’s room or the Common area then Belphie may come over, set his pillow up on the floor, and watch them play. He may even throw in a comment or two like, “You missed a health pack,” or “Better save now,” but other than that he likes to just let them do their thing.

The MC has had many an all-nighter with Belphie spectating until about 4am or so. Then he’s dead to the world and they have to work out how to get his not-exactly-light demon ass onto a couch…

Or they can just leave him faceplanted and snoring on the floor. Up to them, really cause he did it to himself. 🤷‍♀️

[absolutelyterrifichonestly]

Could you do some Jinkx & Dela Moms AU, but it's Christmas? I can only imagine how the reader would react to Dela killing a polar bear with her bare hands.

Can't believe I'm writing this in June, it's a good job I like you baby 😏😘

I wrote this as if the holiday special is canon, so there are a few references, but I also wanted to keep this as a general holiday themed piece. It's a bit messy, but I hope you like it!

🎄🍸🐻‍❄️

You didn't get much sleep last night. Dela made you get up at 6am and Jinkx was getting railed all night by... whoever he is. Who's idea was it to sandwich your room between your Moms? You're fine with the whole open marriage thing but they could at least gift you some earplugs.

You make Jinkx her breakfast martni and she thanks you in her signature morning sigh, kissing the back of your hand. Her room smells of cum and marijuana, you tell her. She shrugs.

Dela has arranged your presents to spell out your initials.

You decide to ignore the fact that she's talking to a cup of eggnog. At Halloween she thought she saw the ghost of her great uncle in a Jack-o'-lantern and wouldn't throw it out for weeks.

You cuddle together in your matching pyjamas and she strokes your hair.

When Jinkx finally makes it downstairs she gives you the presents she gives you every year - a freshly rolled joint and a crisp fifty dollar bill.

You beam and give her a hug which she pretends to hate, but you feel her smile into your hair.

Inevitably, your moms are bickering a lot. You sit between them, glaring and threatening to call child services. Jinkx cackles with laughter whilst Dela clasps her heart and gasps "you wouldn't dare!".

You join in with Jinkx singing her dedication to Hecate, twirling around in one of her black shawls whilst she tries to keep a straight face.

"Just remember who the supreme is in this house, darling."

"Yup - Dela!"

She threatens to whip your ass but you pass her another martini and all is forgiven.

Dela bundles you up in about twenty layers and takes you for a long walk in the snow, her big white coat making her blend in with the surroundings.

You end up in a snowball fight which she loses spectacularly, her eyes blazing with fury, melted snow dripping down her face.

Jinkx puts minimal effort into cooking the dinner but it's the most sublime thing you've ever tasted.

You sit on Jinkx's lap in front of the fire whilst she smokes and tells you about growing up poor. You kiss her cheeks and she grumbles fondly, batting you away.

"But we're wealthy in spirit." Dela beams. "No matter what our bank balance says!"

"Speak for yourself, the second you stop earning I'm getting on a plane to Turks and Caicos and I'm taking the kid." Jinkx says, but she's smiling.

They fall asleep spooning on the couch together so of course you pour whipped cream on them both.

[kittydemon9000]

SO MERLOPIAN KAI PART 2 ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

So, with Kalmaar, he ofc immediately goes to his parents about his feeling, slightly placing his revenge on hold. They are...dubious about it, but Maya raises the point of how there has never been a human/merlopian hybrid before, and from what Ray has told them about having two EM parents it’s possible for Kai to have some water abilities himself, which could be what gave Kalmaar his feeling. So, they agree to look into it.

Moving on..... Uh. Kai doesn’t have a fun time in S6, as briefly as he’s there. You see, Nahdakahn knows exactly what buttons to press and is able to get Kai into a panicked state where he, on the verge of a panic attack and mental breakdown, just says “I wish that I could just be normal! I wish I could just go home! I wish I could be with dad and mom and father and Kal and Bentho and Nya!!!”

The “normal” comment comes from how they weren’t able to completely hide Kai’s heritage since yeah, there were other people on the boat who saw him. That and he also tried a lot less to keep it hidden. And because some humans are assholes, he has to deal with that.

So ofc, Nahdakahn interprets it in the worst ways and as two wishes. Kai is now a full human yes….but was also sent to where the fish fam currently were……which just so happened to be at the bottom of the ocean.

So yeah, double trauma for both groups. Kai got to experience what drowning felt like, and his fam was essentially forced to watch him die since there was nothing they could do. They were too far under to take him to the surface and too far from the palace to take him there.

But dw, it gets even worse.

You see, the whole reason Nahdakahn is being this malicious about Kai’s wishes is because he learned that Kai was the reason the Preeminent was destroyed, thereby destroying Djinjago.

Nahdakahn is then able to do a “oh? Is this not what you wanted? I thought you wished to be normal.” Which ofc sounds really bad since it’s in front of his family. “But, I understand. You grow tired of the stares in the street, how they whisper behind you back about what you are. Not human, not merlopian, not normal. Just a freak masquerading as one of them.”

This ofc supremely pisses off the fam. Like, weapons drawn ready to commit murder.

But then Nahdakahn stop them with a “ah ah ah, I wouldn’t do that if I were you. After all, I am the only way your son has a chance at living. So go ahead. Make a wish.”

Trimaar ends up being the one to do it, and is smart enough to know this uh will twist it in anyway he can so says. “I wish for Kai to be sent safely to the surface without harm done upon him.”

Blah blah blah, your wish is yours to keep, Trimaar realizing “wait there’s a lot that could be interpreted” but too late BAM now Kai’s kinda stuck on the Misfortune’s Keep.

And he....generally has a pretty bad time. Think Jay but this time it’s personal.

However, Kai’s appearance had Trimaar get the Merlopian army and start heading to the surface. The remaining ninja have a brief moment of “are you kidding me two enemies at once” before learning that this is Kai’s lost family and they’re here to help.

So now the ninja have a whole ass fish army to help them, plus a very protective, very angry fish family.

But for the rest of canon, the only difference is that when they’re leaving Tiger Widow Island, Nya gets snatched along with Jay(who was taken because he hadn’t used his wish yet) and they aren’t stuck on the island, and then later that Kai gets sucked into the sword when the ninja launch their rescue mission.

But yeah, it gets all Un-Happened by Jay’s wish(which at seeing Kai physically hurt and being emotionally torn apart at his baby sister dying, wished that none of this ever happened and that Nahdakahn was never found), only like canon Nya and Jay still remember what happens.

Nya is now firmly on team Kai Is Alive and tells her parents everything about what happened and the wish Jay made, and more importantly where Kai is.

Unfortunately, they need to take some time and prepare. Trimaar and Maya have been doing their best over the years to open the populace possibly making bonds with the humans, but now it’s finally happening. They can’t just go up there out of no where, since from what Nya has told them 1) most humans don’t even know they exist and 2) in the past few years they have been subject of many attacks, mostly from non-humans, so they need to make sure the humans understand they don’t mean any harm.

So DotD happens, then the beginnings of S7 :)

Right out, Kai never liked the museum curator. Up to that point he’d only ever caught fleeting glimpse of him but something about him Kai just despised. As a result, he also visited the museum as scarcely as possible, and thus didn’t notice a very interesting painting containing a two very strange figures.

When he learns his name was Dr.Saunders.....things don’t go well.

It happened when Kai brought the helmet with his dad’s symbol on it. As much as he disliked the curator, he was the most likely to be able to recognize what kind of helmet it was.

Then in his anger he gets himself captured.

He’s taken to a special cell lined with vengestone and has guards around the clock, and Krux takes extra care to make sure Kai doesn’t know where Ray is.

ofc it’s around this time that the Merlopians arrive and express their wishes for a possible alliance between their two races. Unfortunately they showed up at literally the worst time, and double unfortunately the people in charge of diplomacy decide to bring some of the ninja in as an extra precaution because of the villains have been running around.

So the people who join the meeting are Lloyd and Jay from the ninja(they would’ve brought Kai but he hasn’t returned from his missions yet and isn’t answering their calls) as well as some police officers and from the Merlopians is the whole royal family plus a few guards.

Both Jay and Nya have a silent moment of staring at each other since “I know and I’m not sure you know but I think you know but I don’t want to say anything since you might not”

And just as they’re about to start, The Time Twins attack. Because why the hell not.

They’re actually able to hold them off for a while, but unfortunately there are too many Vermillion. Then Kalmaar whips out his Water Powers which causes him to get kidnapped since they need both Fire and Water masters for the blade.

While they’re recovering, Lloyd then gets a panicked call from Zane saying that he checked the museum footage and Kai has been captured. The gets overheard by the royal family, and then Lloyd asks why they looked so upset at which they learn(sans Jay since wish) that Kai is royalty. The eldest son actually, and thus first in line for the throne, as well as being presumed dead for the past five years.

So basically Krux has kidnapped the King and Queen’s husband, the crown prince, and the second in line prince(if anyone knows a more fancy term for this please let me know)

Maya, Trimaar, Nya and Benthomaar are not happy. Not with the Ninjagian people, no they’re fine, but they’re bout ready to murder Krux, and they don’t even know about Ray yet.

So they offer any help they can.

Zap back to how Kai and Kalmaar are doing.

Kalmaar is….kind feral tbh. Like, he’s biting, clawing, trying to strangle them with his tentacles, and before they got vengestone cuffs on him was trying very hard to drown anyone.

Ofc, this does little to the Vermillion and soon Kalmaar finds himself in the cell right next to Kai’s. He’s overjoyed to see his brother again, albeit upset that this is why.

They both reluctantly come to the conclusion that there isn’t much they can do at the moment, and there are many Vermillion guards right outside their cells, so they decide to start catching up.

And for pretty much the rest of the season canon is pretty much the same, just shuffle around the characters a bit and add a protective Fish Fam. 

Though their little trip back in time is quite sight for the Past EMs, especially because of how Kalmaar is using his powers, which leaves Kai mostly stuck in his Fish Form. This time they don’t even bother trying to explain, just give instructions on how to defeat the Vermillion and jumping into the battle. 

And I mean just imagine that from the EMs perspective. An enemy you thought you defeated just returned with a giant metal creature and an army of snake things that don’t look like any kind of Serpentine they’d ever seen. Then a shark person and squid person??? show up and not only do they know how to fight the snake things but they also seem to be Elemental Masters???? Despite the fact Ray is very much alive and they didn’t even know there was a Water EM. Then the two not only summon dragons but they also fuse their dragons into an even bigger one with two heads.

And then all of them disappear into the sky without a trace.

W i l d

But yeah, after that it calms down quite a bit. Kai spends the time skip before S8 reconnecting with his family and his dad, and through some tech courtesy of Borg they're able to bring Ray with them :D

And Kai actually goes to meet the Jade Royal Family since y’know. He’s the crown prince. He’s kinda important and legitimately forgot about it. Luckily Kalmaar is able to help coach Kai through it, but is also a bit smug about how he finally has something to teach to his older brother. Kai was actually the one who suggested asking the ninja for help protecting the mask.....but we know how that inevitably ends.

Bentho, Kal and Nya were actually on the ship for this particular adventure, and then Nya and Bentho were dragged along when they got sent to the First Realm. Bentho, despite being the youngest sibling and to the surprise of literally everyone, was actually really good with kids and spent the most time with Little Wu, right behind Cole.

But yeah S9......Nya and Bentho have a really bad time in the First Realm beause of the heat, but at least they don’t get captured. Kai on the other hand....

Yeah at some point he gets accidentally splashed with water and well.....it definitely doesn’t help with the Oni accusations. The Dragon Hunters decide to burn him along with the Wind Dragon, which moves up their Build Our Own Dragon time table.

After they escape Faith is actually pretty chill about the whole fish thing, but she does ask a lot of questions. 

And then S10..... kinda the same. They end up dropping off as many people as they can with the Merlopians since the smoke can’t reach them.

I might make a Part 3 for the rest of the seasons, but yeah. this is where we’re at.