#which would also be fun

[ahappydnp]

voting for phil to be pigified because i want to see dan gently grasp his face while applying gold leaf that brings out the yellow flecks in his blue green orbs

[robininthelabyrinth]

enderwiggin24 on ao3 asked for more NMJ decides to kill so here’s one version of how that could continue

“I have proof!” Xiao Xingchen exclaimed, bursting into the room.

Everyone turned to stare at the young man, even Nie Mingjue…though in his case, he just sighed, again, at how easily excitable Xiao Xingchen was. It didn’t seem to matter how many times he explained that his decision to kill Jin Guangyao and Jin Guangshan had been motivated by his own motives, not by Xue Yang’s latest atrocity – he hadn’t even heard about Xue Yang’s attack on Song Lan’s temple, slaughtering most of the inhabitants and blinding Song Lan himself, when he’d gone to Jinlin Tower with murder on his mind, and yet Xiao Xingchen seemed to view him as some sort of benefactor, seeking revenge for the injustice done to him.

Maybe that was why he, along with Nie Huaisang, was so insistent on finding a way to prevent Nie Mingjue from paying with his life for what he’d done.

Apparently Xiao Xingchen had been in the middle of a potentially friendship-ending fight with Song Lan when the news had come to them that Jin Guangshan, who’d protected Xue Yang from all consequence, was dead at Nie Mingjue’s hands, making them both rush over as soon as they could…Song Lan was now recuperating in the Nie sect, safe and sound, and the doctors were optimistic about restoring his vision eventually. The natural way, not by transplanting someone else’s eyes into him the way Xiao Xingchen had apparently intended, self-sacrificing overly loyal idiot that he was.

Nie Mingjue could relate – or at least, he’d thought once he could.

He wasn’t so sure anymore.

“Xingchen…” he started to say.

“No, I really do,” Xiao Xingchen insisted, earnest and wide-eyed as ever. “I really, truly do this time! You don’t need to commit suicide, and you don’t need to be put on trial – it wasn’t your fault.”

Nie Mingjue stared. “I knowingly left the Unclean Realm, flew to Jinlin Tower, paid off the door guards, and murdered my own sworn brother and his father by literally beating them to death with my fists, not even with a saber,” he said. “I would have done the same to Xue Yang, if he hadn’t escaped at the last moment. Even if I was having a qi deviation, I acted knowingly and with intent; there’s no excuse for unjustly killing people.”

He really should have just killed himself immediately when he realized what he’d done. That would have been the just thing, the right thing, the righteous path – but even as he’d lifted Baxia up he’d thought of Nie Huaisang, who just wasn’t ready to be sect leader, and he’d hesitated. Nie Huaisang had always been his weakness…he was the reason he was still alive now, for that matter. His stubborn little brother who’d never fought for anything was fighting now, for him.

“But you didn’t just have a qi deviation and decide to kill people,” Xiao Xingchen said. “Someone drove you into that qi deviation intentionally – you were being poisoned!”

“I knew it!” Nie Huaisang said triumphantly. “I knew da-ge’s condition was deteriorating too rapidly for it to be just our inheritance, that there was no other reason he was dying faster than our father did after he was murdered. I told you.”

Lan Xichen looked less convinced, as did Jiang Cheng, and in all honesty Nie Mingjue himself was with them.

“Right,” he said skeptically. “Poisoned. And how exactly was I being poisoned?”

“For that I’ll need to bring out my witnesses,” Xiao Xingchen said, having apparently taken Nie Mingjue’s long and earnestly meant lecture about the necessity of reliable evidence to heart. “Lan Wangji, if you could –”

Lan Xichen abruptly went pale, which Nie Mingjue didn’t understand…at least he didn’t understand until Lan Wangji came out of the side room, barely able to stand on his own two feet from the severity of his injuries. Nie Mingjue was instantly concerned, as he hadn’t even heard about Lan Wangji getting hurt, much less hurt to such a shocking degree – there was blood on his neckline, and probably underneath his pristine white robe as well – that it took a while before he even noticed the two people Lan Wangji was leading into the room.

“Wen Qionglin is alive?” he blurted out, even though that wasn’t quite right. Wen Ning had become a fierce corpse long ago, but the Jin had said he was destroyed...but what was even stranger was who was flanking Lan Wangji on his other side, holding his arm in support. “And…Xue Yang?”

Xue Yang made a strange expression, halfway between a smile and a grimace.

“Not…quite,” he said, sounding a little sheepish. “Long story. Let’s focus on explaining what happened first so that Lan Zhan can sit down, okay?”

“I am fine,” Lan Wangji, who was pretty obviously not fine, said. “But let us tell you about what we have discovered regarding the Song of Turmoil…”

[jumpscaregoose]

current expectations for the flowers anime are "it looks like it's going to be absolutely terrible. I am very hyped"

so excited for next january so I can watch my prime garbage and have a grand old time

[twilight-zoned-out]

The Ken dance is so magnificent because it’s reminiscent of the Golden Age of Musicals when there would just be artful dance sequences for no reason other than the director wanted to have one.

[inkskinned]

love when men cry about body hair bc "it's hygiene" and yet 15% of cis men leave the bathroom without washing their hands at all and an additional 35% only just wet their hands without using soap. that is nearly half of all men. that means statistically you have probably shaken hands with or been in direct contact with one of these people.

love when men say that women "only want money" when it turns out that even in equal-earning homes, women are actually adding caregiver burdens and housework from previous years, whereas men have been expanding leisure time and hobbies. in equal-earning households, men spend an average of 3.5 hours extra in leisure time per week, which is 182 hours per year - a little over a week of paid vacation time that the other partner does not receive. kinda sounds like he wants her money.

love that men have decided women are frail and weak and annoying when we scream in surprise but it turns out it's actually women who are more reliable in an emergency because men need to be convinced to actually take action and respond to the threat. like, actually, for-real: men experience such a strong sense of pride about their pre-supposed abilities that it gets them and their families killed. they are so used to dismissing women that it literally kills them.

love it. told my father this and he said there's lies, damned lies, and statistics. a year ago i tried to get him to evacuate the house during a flash flood. he ignored me and got injured. he has told me, laughing, that he never washes his hands. he has said in the last week that women are just happier when we're cooking or cleaning.

maybe i'm overly nostalgic. but it didn't used to feel so fucking bleak. it used to feel like at least a little shameful to consider women to be sheep. it just feels like the earth is round and we are still having conversations about it being flat - except these conversations are about the most obvious forms of patriarchy. like, we know about this stuff. we've known since well before the 50's.

recently andrew tate tried to justify cheating on his partner as being the "male prerogative." i don't know what the prerogative for the rest of us would be. just sitting at home, watching the slow erosion of our humanity.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...

[spectral-honey]

AU where Jason gets his revenge by becoming a lawyer and getting joker sentenced to the death penalty

Bruce is conflicted about it but any time he tries to say anything on the subject Alfred just talks over him like "oh we're so proud of you master Jason you finished college and you didn't even use your father's extensive resources that could've easily gotten someone in this family a degree aren't we so proud master Bruce that Jason got himself a respectable profession--"

[egophiliac]

hiii im sure you’ve answered this before but in regards to your twst x Pokémon, how do you choose which Pokémon go give to the cast?? really curious since your choices are unique :O

unique in a good way, I hope? 😅 (jk jk I haven't come across too many pokemon AUs, so I was going in without preconceptions, I guess!) I was sorta aiming somewhere between doing, like, a full AU with internal consistency and everything, and just picking entirely based on theme/character, so maybe that's why! basically I just set some arbitrary rules (no legendaries/no repeats/evo stages based on year) and then went on ~vibes~. a couple were also suggestions (thank you guys!) and last-minute decisions, so it was a bit of a delightful mess of ideas!

my one regret is that I should have given Riddle a Togedemaru after all. ...you know what, he can have one now, why not

[hoofpeet]

Modern Unicorn (left) next to extinct megafauna ancestor (right).. Based partially off of the extinct Kyptoceras + cave painting horses*

[ashleyeveerson]

Haven't been able to think about anything other than the victorian/edwardian/WW1 twink and his 80's punk almost-boyfriend for a week, send help

[chloesimaginationthings]

HBEBEBEBEBEB UR WILLIAM DESIGN IS SO SILLYYYYY THAT SKRUNKLY OLD MAN IS GETTING THE CHAIR <3333

The worst man ever 💜

[bacchuschucklefuck]

they tried to rebrand as The Criminals but riz is literally the city council's treasurer and also turns out people in their late 20s don't really name their friend groups. so now they're The Intrepid Heroes

[thelaurenshippen]

a remake of "you've got mail" called "you've got kudos" about two fic writers who make flirty comments on each other's fics, only to realize that they already know each other because they used to be on opposite sides of a fandom war when they were teenagers under different usernames

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

A fierce duel commences!

[phantom-0-writer]

prompt 02: tim’s birthday present

Tim sat in his empty house at the empty dining table. The table was actually quite large; it had enough seats to sit at least 15 people. But there was just Tim there. 

His parents had promised and sworn up and down that they would come back in time for his birthday. He had everything planned out. He picked out the birthday cake, put on the candles, decorated, ordered his parents' favorite foods, his parents' favorite movie for movie night, popcorn the likes. But that morning, just when Tim was double checking to make sure everything was ready for the most perfect birthday ever, his parents had called to tell him that something really important had come up, and they wouldn’t be able to make it. Tim figured it was better than last year, at least they called this time. 

Tim stared down at the cake, the candles lit. He had heard online that people would make wishes on their birthday cake and blow it out. Tim thought that was a weird thing to do, but it wouldn’t hurt to try. 

What should he wish for? It would have to be something special that he doesn’t already have. Tim thought for a long moment, the candles bleeding into the frosting of the cake. 

A brother. 

Tim closed his eyes and put his hands together like he’s seen the other children to do in the cartoons. And Tim wished for a big brother. When he finally wished hard enough (whatever that meant) he opened his eyes and blew out what was left of the candles. 

Tim waited. What exactly was he supposed to do now? In the cartoons, everyone would celebrate and cheer and the birthday boy would open his presents. There wasn’t anyone to cheer for Tim, or any presents for him to open. 

Suddenly the house shook, and the loud sound of a crash sound came from the backyard. Quickly, Tim did the sensible thing and go check out what the noise was. That's what the characters always did in horror movies. 

In Tim’s backyard, there was what looked like a weird space ship that had crashed into his backyard. There wasn’t any fire or anything, but the spaceship looked pretty wrecked. Getting closer, Tim could vaguely make out that someone was inside the spaceship. Looking around, he saw what looked like maybe the handle. Tim couldn’t really tell. 

When Tim put his hand on it and tried to open it, something poked out mechanically and pricked his finger. He flinched back instinctively, caressing his finger tip.

“Recognized: Danny Fenton. System Override.” A robotic lady spoke. Who is Danny Fenton? As if to answer him, the space ship opened its hatch, and inside was an unconscious black haired teenager. “System Malfunctioning. Please Assis-” The robotic voice spoke again, before getting cut off as if the power had died. 

Suddenly, Tim remembered his wish. A big brother. 

This was Danny Fenton, and he was supposed to be Tim’s big brother

----

When Danny woke up, he found himself in a very soft plush something. Something that definitely wasn’t the Spector Speeder. Alarmed, he sat up quickly to find that he didn’t recognize where he was at all. He also didn’t recognize the weird kid that was staging at him from two feet away. 

“Hi, I’m Tim. Timothy Drake.” The boy introduced himself almost business like. 

“Uh, hi Tim.” Danny responded awkwardly. “You got any idea where I am?” Danny sat up properly, moving the blanket (?) off of him and turned to face the weird and kinda creepy kid. 

“You’re in Drake Manor. Which is where I live.” He answered again. 

“Ok…ay” Danny nodded thoughtfully. “Any idea how I got here?” Truthfully, Danny hadn’t really been expecting an answer, but he still got one. 

“Because I made a birthday wish to have a big brother.” He answered in the same way he had answered the other question, very matter-of-factly. 

“Ok- Wait. What?” Danny asked, doing a double take at Tim. 

“You’re supposed to be my big brother, right?” Tim was starting to look a little hesitant, and as weirded out as Danny felt he couldn’t help but feel bad about the whole situation. 

“Where are your parents, Tim?” 

“There not home, because they had really important things to do for work.” 

Danny nodded. “Do you know when they’ll be back?” 

Tim shook his head. “They were supposed to come back today, because it’s my birthday. But they said they couldn’t make it.” 

Well, shit. Didn’t that sound awfully like Danny’s birthdays before he had given up on his parents showing up. At least he had Jazz. This kid looked like he was alone. 

Not liking the silence, Tim started fidgeting again. “So, are you gonna be my brother, then?” 

And what was Danny supposed to say, No? Besides, if he was really causing problems being in this random universe, then Clockwork would figure it out. 

Bonus: 

Danny sat at Tim’s dinner table, the kid looking at him radiating in excitement, each with a plate of stupid expensive pasta in front of them. “You said your name was Tim, right?” Danny started thoughtfully. Tim nodded, drinking up everything Danny said. “Well, first course of action as you, big brother. I need to give you a nickname.” 

Tim’s eyes sparkled at the prospect. “Like what?”

Danny tapped his chin exaggeratedly, “Hm… Tim, Tim.” Turing the name around while he absentmindedly twirled his fork between his fingers, Danny wondered what he should come up with. Suddenly, in a misplaced strength, Danny’s fork flew out of his hand. 

Before Danny could even say anything, “I’ll get you a new one!” Tim offered quickly. Getting up from his chair, his foot got tangled behind the leg of the chair and Tim fell quietly on the floor with an oof. 

Danny laughed at him. “You okay, Timbers?” He asked, getting up to check on the boy. 

“Yeah, I like Timbers.” Tim said, a bright smile on his face despite the blossoming bruise on his arm.

------------

table of contents

[vaxxman]

whats so fun about the vaccinator (vacc slander)?

You come to my blog and disrespect me like that.

Have some vaccinator propaganda.

Some textless panels that I enjoyed drawing and rambling about the vaccinator medigun under the cut.

Surprise, it's only medic.

I am not saying the vaccinator is not absolutely broken, I 100% feel dirty using it against a badly coordinated team, hence I wouldn't mind if it received a nerf in the future.

A lot of people analyse the vaccinator as only useful against a badly coordinated enemy team, but I think it's much better as a weapon for when your own team sucks ass has bad synergy, since any form of uber is pretty much wasted on everyone (if you can even build enough charge). To compensate for everyone's mistakes, just make sure they stay alive long enough to capture points and push the cart. Everyone will automatically stay with you, and soon you'll have a nice meat shield of 4 people swarming around you. You know it's working, when there's suddenly 3 demoknights and a spy after you.

I love micromanaging my resistance bubbles, and I love micromanaging my team without them noticing that I'm doing it. Pressing the R-button to rotate through resistances feels like such a much more engaging contribution to the battles your patients are fighting.

Vaccinator is busted, but absolutely not boring.

And to close this rambling, here's my fav video about the vaccinator: