#which. I shouldn't have to tell you. is a bad response. you shouldn't see suffering and think “how can I make more people suffer”

[slyandthefamilybook]

fellas is it freeing Palestine to send graphic images to American Jews

[ittsybittsybunny]

ATLA Live Action Series Review:

The Good

Aesthetically this show felt right. Sure sometimes the outfits didn't quite feel lived in, but I always felt like I was watching a fantasy world with decent effects and interesting design. Also, I really enjoyed the sets!

Bending: Yes some of the fights feel very quick, but the bending looks cool. It is certainly better than 10 benders lifting one big rock. I can honestly say the opening bending fight scene gave me so much hope for this show.

Kyoshi Warriors: I loved seeing them in live action, and I thought Suki's performance was great!

Omashu: I think the mashup of the mechanist made sense since that is an important character overall and I would hate to see him cut. However, both Jet & the secret tunnels felt sloppily thrown in.

Northern Water Tribe: I really loved the way it looked, and appreciated the two episodes we spent here. I think Yue gained more agency in this interpretation, and why shouldn't the moon spirit be a waterbender. Also, episode seven felt the most in tune with the original show's spirit.

Zuko: I think he was one of the most fleshed-out and best parts of the show! Dallas Liu really captured Zuko's spirit, and the scene between him and Aang in episode 6 was wonderful!

Soundtrack: Hearing the original soundtrack bits is always great, and when I first heard the ending music I was so excited.

Is the show perfect, no - but I wouldn't mind a season 2.

The Bad

Pacing: Turning 20 episodes into 8 was bound to lead to some cuts...but oftentimes times things felt too quick or disjointed. I think there were editing problems contributing to this for sure, but sometimes things skipped around too much without a clear purpose as to why. Also, why bring in plots from later seasons when you barely have enough time already?

Writing: This show definitely suffered from exposition dumping, though it did get better as time went on. I think the biggest example of this is actually opening in the past rather than the present. We do not get to learn along with Aang that the world has changed, instead, we get to learn that 100 years have passed....which doesn't hold the same tension or worldbuilding.

Clunky Dialogue: Along with exposition, clunky dialogue is another example of bad writing. I think sometimes I felt like the acting was kind of meh in the beginning, but then over time I began to realize it had far more to do with the lines characters were trying to deliver. The actors themselves are not bad, just cursed with awkward writing and lines that feel out of touch with the setting they're in.

Main Trio: I don't entirely know that I believe Katara, Sokka, and Aang are friends as opposed to 3 people stuck together to save the world. Aang feels a little too somber for a young kid running away from his responsibilities, Sokka is protective, but not exactly the heart of the team, and Katara is sort of just there until the last two episodes. Where is her struggle, her desire to learn so strong she steals from pirates? Also, while Gordon Cormier did a great job, Aang does zero waterbending on his own, is overly serious, and tells Katara not to fight. Where is his desperation to protect his friends? It feels like they all lost emotional depth.

Tension: Bringing Ozai, Azula, and Zhao out in the beginning immediately causes us to lose the realization there is an even bigger bad. Part of why Ozai is so terrifying is he is a primarily silent villain until the third season when we finally see the face of the "big bad evil guy" behind it all. Yes, they add to Zuko's backstory, but again, they are revealing the villains too early. Azula is the antagonist of season 2 and one of my favorite characters, so I hope they do more with her in the future. Finally, Zhao is supposed to be an example of the uncontrollable nature of fire unrestrained, instead, he comes off as vaguely threatening with the supposed true power being Azula.

Characterization: While all characters are bound to lose something in a shorter show, it still felt like certain characters were more mutilated than others. I am sure there are 100 different opinions on who, but I think the biggest victim was Katara.

Katara: Katara manages to go from a complete novice to a bending master in what feels like a matter of days. The journey feels short, and that makes the results feel largely unearned. Katara is one of the strongest personalities in the show, determined, kind, and fiery. In many ways, she is the unpredictability of water - equally dangerous as it is necessary to live. She is the child of a war who lost her mother, forced to grow up too soon, and even raised her older brother. Yes, Katara often gets stereotyped as the mom friend, but overall she feels underutilized in this show. We really don't see enough of her journey until the very end.

Iroh: Iroh was always comedic but most importantly wise. Even when Zuko is trying to give himself advice, he mimics Iroh. Instead, he seems to be used more as comedic relief without the underlying experience. He just doesn't feel right. Also, he kills Zhao instead of Zhao getting himself killed - which is less about Iroh and more about the writing than anything.

Ozai is weirdly a little too nice. Yes, he burned Zuko and pits his kids against each other, but he feels toned down in a show claiming to be more mature than the original cartoon.

Azula is perhaps more realistically worried about losing her status as the golden child, but she is also missing the cruelty she and her father share. I understand worrying about making your character cartoonishly evil, but the Fire Nation is currently a deeply nationalistic empire trying to control the world. Where is the deep-seated belief that they are better than other people, not just trying to bring balance to the world? There is a line between creating complexity and toning down the very real evil inherent in this plan.

Roku: I can only say what the fuck was that. He was barely there, and not the serious master to Aang's youthful exuberance.

The Ugly

Show, Don't Tell: The show's single biggest issue seems to be speeding through story parts by simply stating things. Instead of allowing the audience to discover, trusting that we are smart enough to understand, let's just blatantly say things like Zuko is the only reason the 41st division is alive to their faces. Even though in the context of the story Ozai literally already said that.... it's the division, the division for Zuko, Zuko's division.

Thematic Misunderstandings: I think this show makes several minor changes with major implications, such as airbenders actively fighting the firebenders, when airbenders are known for their pacifist nature and the lie of an Airbender fighting force is actively propaganda. Similarly, Aang very quickly accepts his role as the avatar and doesn't even run away in the beginning. Without this conflict between his desire to be a carefree child and the fact that the world needs him - the show loses a key aspect of Aang's character. Also, the obsession with downplaying the avatar state as something dangerous feels like a disservice to the tradition, connection, and strength of the avatar, which can be permanently destroyed as the trade-off for that kind of power. It's dangerous for the balance of the entire world, not just because it's powerful!

The Agni Kai: Zuko's fight against his father is one of the defining moments of Ozai's cruelty, not just because he is willing to fight his child, but because Zuko tried to do everything right. Zuko shows deference to his father, apologizes, and most importantly refuses to fight! The determination not to upset his father and still be grievously injured and banished is a hugely important theme for the fire nation and Zuko's life as a whole. He tries to do everything he is supposed to and only regains his father's acceptance after he "kills" Aang. Zuko's struggle between moral vs. social right and wrong in contrast to his family is hugely important to his character.

-----

TLDR: ATLA was a fantastical animated television show that was never afraid to show character development and flaws. When you turn 20 episodes into 8, you are bound to lose something. You hollowed out the middle, leaving the shell of important moments and events without ever wondering if all the times in between formed the true spirit of the show.

Rating: 6.5/10 It's perfectly fine and worth a watch. Not a disaster, but certainly falls flat of the original.

[beggars-opera]

Hey, so we don't talk enough about A Christmas Carol as being at least a little bit about not continuing a cycle of abuse and neglect, both against others and yourself.

In the book little Scrooge is left languishing over the holidays in a boarding school for some never-explained reason, but it is made very clear that this is miserable and unfair, and that his father is doing this on purpose. His sister specifically comes to tell him that "father is so much kinder now than he used to be, that home's like heaven." This also reflects a bit of Dickens's own childhood when his father went into debtor's prison and little Charlie was forced to support his family working full time in a shoe-blacking factory at the age of 12 (which is also why so many of his books seem to have a moral of "hey, kids are people too and maybe we shouldn't make them work in the mines.")

Whatever family reunion happened after didn't work out, because Scrooge continues believing that no one is coming to save him and pulling himself up by his bootstraps at the detriment of all other social relationships is the only way forward. And the more he lives by that philosophy, the more miserable he gets, because obviously he pushes away anyone who has that hope that he lost. They threaten to break down the walls he's built and teach him that a big pile of money doesn't have to be the only thing that he can rely on, if he'd just let himself be vulnerable and have a relationship with people who care about him, because they're out there even if he's ignoring them.

There is a certain type of person still very much out there who thinks this way. "I've never been happy in my life, so no one else has a right to be either. I was abused in my childhood so it's only fair that everyone else suffer as well." We see this in parents who still try to use corporal punishment, and in wealthy people who ignore the social factors keeping others down and scream that everyone else is just entitled, that only those who suffer and scrape deserve happiness. And they especially hate the people like Fred who represent the past that could have been, who have maintained hope for the future, and seem to be rubbing their optimism in your face, when in reality they're just maintaining hope because it's the only way you can survive.

It's so important for Scrooge to actually see the impact this thinking has on both himself and multiple generations. Rich people have this weird hangup about this story because they think Scrooge is bad because he's rich. He's not, he's bad because he's a horrible person and a miser - he doesn't use his money to better anything, including himself. Salting the earth, everyone suffers here, including him. And he learns that he's going to die old and alone without ever having spent or enjoyed his money, and that his family feels sorry for him, and that the nameless masses of poor people out there that he decries so much are in fact living, breathing people, including tiny disabled kids who don't deserve to suffer just because you decided life isn't fair.

In the end he takes responsibility for actually uplifting the people in the next generation who are trying to make the world a better place and no longer punching down, because it doesn't have to be this way. So many people out there just give up hope because things are hard and they think trying to improve things is a pointless exercise that makes them look dumb. How dare you grow a year older and not an hour richer! How dare you marry for love! That's the only thing more ridiculous than a Merry Christmas! When in reality, there are plenty of people who would love to see them happy if they just had a chance.

It's really sad that, while the language used to describe it has changed, these problems still persist. That people feel so wronged and isolated that they spend their days ensuring everyone else will be as well. That they fail to see their fellow humans as fellow humans who are just as deserving of love and kindness and a roof over their heads. I don't care what time of year it is, we should all be lifting each other up rather than tearing each other down.

[aspd-culture]

What’s the difference between remorse and shame?

So remorse is inherent to having had done something wrong. While getting caught/the risk thereof, if someone got hurt emotionally or otherwise, the potential for social consequences, etc can *add* to that remorse, none of that is what causes it. Instead it is a societally built instinct that becomes an uncontrollable part of brain development quite early in life, though as we see in pwASPD it can be removed entirely or diluted by circumstances that make it useless, dangerous, or otherwise cause a child to believe other people don't feel that way. That instinct defines a bad and good and if you do something bad you feel this itch to make it up to anyone involved, to tell people what you did, to try and get forgiveness and atone for whatever it is you did, and even after all of that there will still be that feeling of remorse. It is this thing in the pit of your stomach nagging you about what you did wrong - not because of any effect it may have on you, and it occurs even if there is 0 chance it will affect you in any way - and not letting you forget about it.

Shame is a different social response, and in typical development, comes from perceived risk of social consequences (if people found out they'd hate me, so I must be bad and I shouldn't have done it) and a hit to self-esteem/self-worth on the basis that they did whatever they did. It can also come from PTSD as a trauma response, or OCD. As a trauma response, doing something that may have caused a valued adult or caregiver or even a friend that was taking a somewhat caregiving role for you will cause this shame as you risk falling out of favor with someone who is safe. You don't want them to see you in a negative light because their opinion of you directly affects how you feel about yourself. As an OCD obsession it can come from being either labelled as bad as a child and your brain taking that in and becoming extremely paranoid about good vs evil and which side you stand on, or for someone who is kind and caring and "good" by social standards and values that, as an attack on something you value most - as that is what OCD does by definition. Shame is a part of the anxiety needed to keep humans in packs back when we were surviving in small groups in the "wild" rather than in established towns/cities/civilization of any sort. If a human were to be cut off from the pack due to distaste towards them, it would be the end of them almost certainly. Humans were weaker to the elements, starvation, dehydration, and predators at the time, so you needed the protection that came in numbers both for the ability to keep food/water/shelter around and for the fact that animals were less likely to attack a group of humans than a single one. It was literally life or death if people liked you enough to keep you around, and so there is a very strong response built into humans' brains to keep social favor towards them - that's what we call shame.

So shame has something to do with how you view yourself or how others view you (and the potential consequences thereof), while remorse is an instinct that does not care about consequences, whether anyone knows, your opinion of yourself, etc. Remorse just is because of the fact that you did the thing. It's considered disingenuous to apologize or attempt to make amends exclusively on shame, and remorse is a large part of the social dance expected when someone knows you did something wrong. In fact, perceived remorse is a large part of court proceedings and legal decisions such as parole/probation vs jail time, length of sentence, etc. "You should be ashamed of yourself" is a bit of a misnomer, because really what they want is for you to feel an instinctual suffering as a result of having had done something wrong.

I hope this made sense; as always anyone is welcome to send in another ask for clarification if it didn't.

Plain text below the cut:

So remorse is inherent to having had done something wrong. While getting caught/the risk thereof, if someone got hurt emotionally or otherwise, the potential for social consequences, etc can *add* to that remorse, none of that is what causes it. Instead it is a societally built instinct that becomes an uncontrollable part of brain development quite early in life, though as we see in pwASPD it can be removed entirely or diluted by circumstances that make it useless, dangerous, or otherwise cause a child to believe other people don't feel that way. That instinct defines a bad and good and if you do something bad you feel this itch to make it up to anyone involved, to tell people what you did, to try and get forgiveness and atone for whatever it is you did, and even after all of that there will still be that feeling of remorse. It is this thing in the pit of your stomach nagging you about what you did wrong - not because of any effect it may have on you, and it occurs even if there is 0 chance it will affect you in any way - and not letting you forget about it.

Shame is a different social response, and in typical development, comes from perceived risk of social consequences (if people found out they'd hate me, so I must be bad and I shouldn't have done it) and a hit to self-esteem/self-worth on the basis that they did whatever they did. It can also come from PTSD as a trauma response, or OCD. As a trauma response, doing something that may have caused a valued adult or caregiver or even a friend that was taking a somewhat caregiving role for you will cause this shame as you risk falling out of favor with someone who is safe. You don't want them to see you in a negative light because their opinion of you directly affects how you feel about yourself. As an OCD obsession it can come from being either labelled as bad as a child and your brain taking that in and becoming extremely paranoid about good vs evil and which side you stand on, or for someone who is kind and caring and "good" by social standards and values that, as an attack on something you value most - as that is what OCD does by definition. Shame is a part of the anxiety needed to keep humans in packs back when we were surviving in small groups in the "wild" rather than in established towns/cities/civilization of any sort. If a human were to be cut off from the pack due to distaste towards them, it would be the end of them almost certainly. Humans were weaker to the elements, starvation, dehydration, and predators at the time, so you needed the protection that came in numbers both for the ability to keep food/water/shelter around and for the fact that animals were less likely to attack a group of humans than a single one. It was literally life or death if people liked you enough to keep you around, and so there is a very strong response built into humans' brains to keep social favor towards them - that's what we call shame.

So shame has something to do with how you view yourself or how others view you (and the potential consequences thereof), while remorse is an instinct that does not care about consequences, whether anyone knows, your opinion of yourself, etc. Remorse just is because of the fact that you did the thing. It's considered disingenuous to apologize or attempt to make amends exclusively on shame, and remorse is a large part of the social dance expected when someone knows you did something wrong. In fact, perceived remorse is a large part of court proceedings and legal decisions such as parole/probation vs jail time, length of sentence, etc. "You should be ashamed of yourself" is a bit of a misnomer, because really what they want is for you to feel an instinctual suffering as a result of having had done something wrong.

I hope this made sense; as always anyone is welcome to send in another ask for clarification if it didn't.

[sleazyjanet]

that scene in season one in which serena tells lydia to remove "the bad apples from the crate" is sooo interesting and shows so well what kind of women they are, and i'm sure many people have spoken about it but i just thought of it and!

lydia is brutal, but she cares about those girls, in her own twisted way. she IS the reason they are bruised and battered, and cannot be displayed, but she thinks that what they suffered makes them WORTHY of being displayed, because they have persevered. they are prime examples of fertile women who have been beaten and broken into being ideal gilead subjects. why shouldn't gilead be proud of them, of how great they're doing? she thinks they deserve their spot, and feels janine's pain when the poor girl cannot join the feast that is SUPPOSED TO be in HER honour: janine and the other girls have suffered and deserve some reward, and lydia believes that, because she cares about them perhaps as a little more than wombs. or because they are walking wombs, she cares. but there is a twisted type of love there.

serena, on the other hand, has no love for these women. she hardly sees them as women at all. she doesn't feel responsible for their disfigurations (and frankly, neither does lydia. lydia feels their pain in being excluded, but does not regret disfiguring in the first place) and as such, she doesn't care to reward them for them either. serena is here for the aesthetic of it, and for diplomatic reasons. whereas lydia is in the grime and filth of it all, getting her hands dirty like all aunts do in the shaping up of the handmaids, serena, at the top of the food chain, almost, cares about it LOOKING good. she has a product to sell and the imperfections must be hidden, painted over, hidden. serena cares about their wombs, just like lydia, but she knows that they are more than that, too, and must BE presentable. a beaten handmaid won't make for good publicity. if you show how they are treated, not directly by her, no, then you can't sell the idyllic peace that gilead wants to sell.

they both see these women as little more than wombs with legs. their standpoints are opposite, and yet they both approach these women in an attempt to dehumanise them. neither of them cares about these women's individual lives, neither of them cares about their pain, not really: lydia sees their pain as a means to an end, and serena seeks to conceal it so that she can feel good about herself and this hell she has helped (and i would underline HELPED: the show sometimes pretends she had a bigger role in gilead's creation than she did, but come on... come on) create. both of them are satisfied with what they've done to these women, either directly or indirectly, but lydia's hands are dirty. she's the roman soldiers jabbing jesus with their spears while pontius pilate, serena, washes her hands off her crimes.

and to add to this, gardening is SO perfect for serena. pruning. removing the spoiled pieces so that new, healthy ones can grow and flourish. she has gardened and pruned in her little corner of gilead. so good.

[theerurishipper]

I think anon was referring to what zuko said in response to aang telling katara to forgive yon rha. While aang came across as a bit patronizing even if he meant well and that was obviously unhelpful, I can honestly see why that would count as zuko mocking him. that being said, I agree with everyone else you said and anon shot themselves in the foot when they mocked Zuko;s scar and they engaged in azula apologismwhile using the fact that she's mentally unstable as a shield.

I mostly interpreted that as Zuko saying Aang is being naive rather than his disagreeing with the actual teachings themselves. Zuko isn't one for revenge either, or else he would have killed Ozai, or let Zhao die. And he's never been shown to disrespect the Airbender's teachings in this way before. He's listened when Aang has talked about the monks before. But he understands Katara's feelings in a way that Aang doesn't seem to (which is not to say that Aang hasn't suffered through tragedy or that Aang doesn't understand loss, but Zuko and Katara are specifically paralleled through the fact that they lost their mothers, and it's something they connect over because they feel similarly about it), and it's also a little personal for him in that way. I'm not going to justify what he said, it was a shitty thing to say regardless, but he wasn't being racist. Even Aang doesn't take offence to it because he knows that, and they're on good terms at the end.

I think decrying it as a racist comment simplifies the issue and shifts the conversation. Zuko had a point, but he said it in the worst way. But calling it a racist comment because Zuko think Airbender philosophies are inferior is the wrong interpretation, and it sort of changes the way you view the scene and removes any fault from Aang in the situation. Aang was telling Katara to forgive the man who murdered her mother. That's not really a small thing. And he was quoting the monks verbatim without trying to understand Katara herself and without trying to take into account the real situation they are in, which can't be fixed with a quote that Aang hasn't learnt to put into practice when something comes into conflict with it, as happens in the real world. This is not anti-Aang or anything, this is literally the conflict he deals with at the end of the episode and in the finale, of how to reconcile the monks' teachings with the reality of his situation.

Zuko didn't say Aang was naive because he wanted Katara to get revenge, he did it because he understands her pain, he knows how facing his father gave him closure, and he's angry that Aang is trying to tell Katara to not have the same chance. So when Aang uses "revenge is a two headed rat-viper" line, it makes him angry because Aang clearly doesn't understand. Zuko is saying Aang doesn't understand the reality and is resorting to quotes from the monks, simplifying a complex issue, which is... not wrong. Zuko himself never once pushes Katara towards violence or revenge in this episode. He himself is not that kind of person. If he had been completely wrong or if he had been a bad influence on Katara, pushing her towards a destructive path, the episode shouldn't have ended with her forgiving him, not just by words but with a loving hug. And it also ends with Katara saying she didn't take Aang's advice and ends with Aang being torn between the reality of his situation and his commitment to upholding the beliefs of his people. Simplifying it to "Zuko is racist" just because some people think Aang can never be wrong is reductive and misses the whole point. You're free to disagree, that's just how I see it.

Thank you for your ask!

[theconstitutionisgayculture]

What do you define as traditional femininity and masculinity? I don’t think it was bad that women were liberated. Not everyone wants to marry so she should have the right to be able to take care of herself and domestic violence was very high back then so an escape route for women was needed. I think we need higher wages and maybe fewer hours as a whole. Including more time for parental leave. I am curious though as a gay man, do you think two same sex parents lead a home life that is lacking?

First off, I don't see it as "liberation", hence the quotes I used in the last ask. All women's lib did was add more taxable income to the income pool and lead to children being raised by strangers and devices. It's a net negative for society and culture, even if some individual women benefited. I'm not saying women shouldn't be allowed to work, but in a family, only one parent should work full time.

Traditional masculinity is when a man takes responsibility for himself and his family. He provides for his children, treats his wife right, and leads by example. One of his main goals is to see his children lead a better life than he did. If he doesn't have a family, then he should do his best to leave society better than he found it. He should be strong, decisive, and hard working. He should be polite and well dressed. He should protect his family at all costs. He should be his wife's strongest supporter and advocate.

Traditional femininity isn't as different to traditional masculinity as you'd think. Femininity is not weak, it's just strong in different ways. Where a man is more attentive to the physical needs of his family, a woman should be more attentive to the emotional needs. She's the one the kids come to with their issues and their feelings. She maintains the house and does the chores the man can't because of his other responsibilities. She should be publicly modest. She should be unrelenting in defense of her family. She should be her husband's strongest supporter and advocate.

And despite me using the words "man and woman", masculinity and femininity aren't necessarily gender locked. A man can fill the traditionally feminine role, and vice versa. In a single parent family, the parent can potentially fulfill both roles, or another family member can step in to one of them. But the roles themselves are important, in my opinion. You need both influences to raise children right. And they're both ideals that everyone should strive for regardless of which role they want to fulfill.

As to the rest of your ask, higher wages and fewer hours would solve nothing. Assuming by "higher wages" you mean "all jobs raise their wages for all employees" you're basically arguing for an increased minimum wage which always results in higher prices, negating the entire point of raising it in the first place. Just throwing money at a cultural crisis isn't going to fix it. It needs to be fixed within the culture itself. People need to want to fix it. And sadly, most people won't even admit that there's a crisis.

Your claim that domestic violence was "very high back then" doesn't really have data to support it. Domestic violence wasn't even tracked until the 70s, so there's no real data before that, and the first organizations to track domestic violence were feminist activist groups, which have a political motive to inflate domestic violence against women and have a history of lying about women's suffering. The rate of domestic violence has gone down since the 90s, but that rate has mirrored exactly the rate of all violent crime falling, so there's no way to tell if that had anything to do with domestic violence laws being passed, or women being able to work, or any other specific factor other than society becoming less violent as a whole. As for domestic violence being mainly an issue of men beating women, that's just not true. Rates of perpetration are much closer between the genders, with female perpetrators exceeding male perpetrators in some demographics, such as high school students. Lifetime rates are higher against women, but in more recent years men have been victimized more.

Actually I'm just going to post that second link here, because there's a lot of interesting data to look through that shows domestic violence isn't as cut and dried as activists and tv shows try to make it out to be.

So the idea that women need to work in order to be "saved" from abusive husbands might be true in some cases, but it's not a society wide fact of life. And again, I'm not saying women shouldn't work ever. If a woman wants to leave an abusive man and she needs a job to do so, then she should get that job and leave that man. The problem here isn't with women being "kept out of the work place", it's with the whole society wide scam of "you need college and an unbroken work history to be qualified for any job", which is another society wide problem that must be fixed with a cultural shift that will take years, if not generations.

Finally, to answer your question about gay parents, I honestly don't know if gay parents are overall good or bad. All the studies that have been done that show either children of gay parents being worse off than straight parents, or vice verse, have methodology and/or sample size issues and they're all politically motivated. So I tend to disregard all of them. What I do see is entirely non-scientific, but there's a severe lack of proper morals in the gay community that I'm very wary of those people getting their hands on children. At the same time, the gay "community" doesn't represent all gay people. Not every gay person is a trans cultists or a sexual degenerate. But when those people are the public face of "LGBT", and there's no significant push back against that from the rest of the supposedly normal gays, it's not an unreasonable assumption that those kinds of behaviors are, if not practiced by most gays, at least seen as acceptable. Which is not okay and is not an environment children should be raised in.

[thesoftboiledegg]

The Smiths want Rick to change, but I don't think they want him to change in healthy, responsible ways. They don't want him to talk them out of bad ideas, ignore the bullshit that people throw at him or abandon his crazy adventures and inventions that just lead to trouble anyway. They want him to be passive and vulnerable so that he indulges their worst instincts.

When I think about this episode, I see so many classic manipulation techniques. Rick tells Jerry that fooling around with raw power will make Jerry miserable, like him. The Smiths immediately tear into him: they all yell at him at once, saying that he's petty, he doesn't care about Summer, he doesn't want Jerry to be happy. Rick never said any of those things.

Admittedly, it's not unreasonable to assume the worst about Rick, but--as he points out--they initially praised him for going to therapy. Now they don't want him to do what Dr. Wong instructed.

Look at his expression when Summer yells at him. They know that he's becoming more vulnerable, it's getting harder for him to say no and their yelling upsets him instead of just aggravating him. And they pounce on it.

Rick gives in, and they indirectly reward him with their happiness. In the end, they reward him again with affection and apologies when they think that he concocted a ridiculous plan to boost Jerry's ego. When they learn the truth, they take it all away.

I won't judge them too harshly for that because it was a huge shock, and Rick shouldn't have trusted a 14-year-old with that information, but I think it's part of a growing pattern.

I think the Smiths want to trap Rick in a loop where they reward him for "good" behavior (making crazy inventions for them, indulging Jerry's power fantasies) with praise and attention. When he doesn't do what they want, they tear it away from him--yelling at him, throwing out accusations, storming off.

The Smiths are all he's got when Bird Person's not around, which is 90% of the time. He relies on them for love and attention. He could get increasingly desperate when they pull away from him, obsessing over what he did wrong, trying to make them happy again. When they reward him, he feels relief until they punish him again.

At that point, they could get him to do almost anything that they wanted. They could also make him the family scapegoat because they know that he's not going to fight back too harshly. If he did, they'd pull out the guilt card.

"Yeah, Grandpa, you gotta, like, keep it in your heart as a great sacrifice." Don't tell anyone what's going on. Keep it to yourself. Suffer in silence.

I realize that Rick's been abusive and manipulative, and you could write twenty posts about all the shit that he's pulled. Maybe he had it coming, maybe turnabout is fair play. But he's not going to get his act together if the Smiths take advantage of his willingness to go to therapy to target and exploit his vulnerabilities.

The way I see it, they have three options:

Support him as he goes to therapy and encourage him to follow Dr. Wong's instructions.

Go to therapy with him to hash out their issues (honestly, they should be doing this AND supporting him.)

End their relationship with him. Which would be hard on him, but it's warranted. Going their separate ways would give everyone closure and let them move on with their lives.

Unfortunately, they seem to have chosen a fourth option, which is trying to manipulate him into being what they want: a zany scientist who indulges their power fantasies, a docile old man and the household villain who's responsible for everything that goes wrong.

"Dr. Wong would be so proud."

[hackerqueen]

I wanna be yours

pairing: Jakexfem!MC

summary: This story is about what might have happened if MC and Jake were together with the group in a cabin in the woods (episode 9)

piece of story: MC was his private religion that he silently worshiped in his mind every day and every night. Every second of every fucking day. He was at her complete mercy, but somehow he didn't have the strength to fight it.

warnings: sexual content, light dom! jake, sub! MC

author's note: pls God forgive me

The air around them thickened rapidly. The girl was standing at the desk, on which there were already two laptops, the pale light of which illuminated the semi-darkness in which they were. Her eyes were fixed on the floor, she was extremely ashamed. She nibbled at the skin around her fingernail, waiting in tense silence for developments.

Taking a deep breath, she looked up at the boy who was standing a few meters in front of her. He was standing by the open window, letting in cool, refreshing air. She scanned his legs, which were covered with black jeans, his torso covered with a slightly too large black sweatshirt. He was dressed exactly as she imagined. She finally looked at his face and knew then that she had lost. His jaw was slightly clenched, his eyes were half-closed, and his thumb and forefinger pressed against the bridge of his nose. He was angry. She was sure of it.

She sighed again and decided to speak up.

– Jake, I know I broke my promise. I know I shouldn't be here. But… – She stopped, biting her lip. Her voice was hoarse and breaking slightly as she waited for his response. However, he was silent. – Richy may be dead. You and I know it well. These words hurt her heart deeply and she tried not to cry, but the black-haired man still decided not to speak. She was already irritated by it. – Jake, I know how much it hurt you to see photos from Michael's house. Seeing all those barrels, ropes… I…

With these words, his fingers left his nose and his eyes opened. She almost shivered at the piercingness of his blue eyes. They were filled mostly with anger, but also with something she couldn't name. He was looking directly at her, and she felt as if he was looking into her soul.

– I couldn't bear the thought of how much you were hurting, Jake. I know that when we looked at those photos, you were pretty sure Hannah was dead. That's why I came here. I came here to find your sister safe and sound so you don't have to suffer anymore.

The words flowed out of her like a waterfall. She was tired of the screams from earlier, followed by a tense silence. Before they were in one of the rooms, they argued for a long time. The screams that came out of their mouths hurt each other, but they both couldn't stop.

He shook his head slightly and moved closer to her.

– Haven't you thought about how I would feel if something happened to you here? If this asshole kidnapped you, imprisoned you, and god knows what else he did, and I had no idea why you stopped texting me back? Tell me, have you ever thought about it? – he asked quietly, his voice trembling with anger. Christ, it was bad. She had never seen Jake so nervous. Of course, she hadn't seen him at all before, but the messages made him seem composed and disciplined. - Answer me!

A wheezing breath left her mouth as she looked down at the ground again. She had no idea what the angry hacker looked like, but now she could only admit that she liked him more than ever before.

I'm starting to have serious problems with myself.

– No. – she replied quietly – I didn't think that it could end badly for me. I just wanted you to get your sister back!

– But I could have lose you!

With those words, she lifted her gaze, noticing how close Jake was to her. She had to look up because of the height difference between them. His piercing gaze filled with rage and concern sent shivers down her spine. She also saw how quickly he swallowed when he saw her gaze.

She shivered as she felt his soft hand touch her cheek gently. Now she could look closely at his eyes, which seemed to engulf her. They were beautiful. God, they were so beautiful she was sure they could end bloody, long wars. One look from him and he could have the whole world at his feet.

Well he had her for sure.

Ocean eyes, enchanting with their depth, soothed her like watching the waves at sunset. His sapphire eyes have since become her favorite color of all in the world.

But then she realized something else.

– Oh my God! You shouldn't risk yourself like this for me! What if, because of my stupidity, your pursuers find out where you are and...

He cut her off by saying her name. Her name on his lips sounded so soft, so perfect, that she couldn't control her thoughts, which imagined it in slightly different situations.

– Calm down, MC. For now, they are far from finding me.

– Why are you taking more care of me instead of yourself again? – she whispered, his grip on her cheek tightening

– And why did you come here to find Hannah? – he asked softly, his voice no longer full of anger

– I already said that. I did it for you, as stupid as it sounds. But also for them. – she pointed to the door behind which the whole group was bustling somewhere. – I also wanted to protect them.

– Honestly, I'd rather send them all to meet Michael than have it be you. - he admitted, and she felt her body temperature rise

Oh my god, I got lost in him so much.

– You would risk the lives of them just for one person? Why? – she asked quietly, biting her lip because she knew the answer. She knew he was as lost to her as she was to him, but she wanted to hear it from his lips. The same ones that she had been surreptitiously staring at, because for several long minutes she had wanted nothing more than to taste their taste.

– Because it's not just one life.. it's yours. – he replied, and she breathed right into his mouth.

Their hot breaths mingled together, and she felt Jake gently leaning toward her with a dying slowness. The tension around them, the quarrel, the confession of feelings, and above all the longing and the fact that this was the first time they could physically touch each other made the warmth between her legs steadily increase.

She felt like that kiss could save her. Take away all the stress, pain and care. At that moment, her soul, mind and most of all her body screamed only one thing: his name.

And when she felt the first touch of his soft lips against hers something loud boomed, one floor below. Jake lifted his face and MC opened her eyes. The bubble burst, but even so, she noticed the hacker shivering, his breathing quickening.

Was he really as excited as I was?

This thought brought a small smile to her face. The certainty that he was equally attracted to her physically as well as through the weeks of exchanging messages gave her confidence and boosted her ego pleasantly.

– Mmh MC, we really shouldn't be getting physical. – He mumbled and removed his hand from her face

A low murmur of disappointment escaped her lips. So many waiting and so many lonely nights without a single kiss?

Pull yourself together, pull yourself together. The whole group is waiting downstairs. You can't just lock yourself in a room with him and have fun.

But why not?

Well, if you put it that way, my dear hacker, you can be sure that you won't fall asleep today because of recurring thoughts of me.

* * *

When they came downstairs, everyone's eyes were fixed on the two of them. She raised her eyebrows, trying not to show her rapid breathing and pulse. How much she wished they weren't here. If only she and Jake were here and the whole world around them didn't exist.

– What? – she asked annoyed at which Dan burst out laughing

– It was so loud at first, and then it was deathly quiet. We were wondering who would have to be buried in the garden. – he said in his usual tone that made her roll her eyes

She saw Lilly timidly watching Jake, which didn't surprise her at all. Just finding out she had a brother must have been a big deal for her, let alone discovering how hot and handsome he was.

STOP.

She had to high five her dirty thoughts again. Jake was the most beautiful man she had ever seen. Starting with his athletic physique, because even through the sweatshirt his shoulder muscles were visible at certain moments, ending with his heavenly face and jet-black hair. A jaw that looked like Michelangelo himself had carved it, a straight nose, perfect pink lips, and those eyes. Eyes, that will haunt her every night.

– We're going to light a fire. Do you agree? – Jessy asked, giving the girl a small smile

The redhead looked even more radiant than in the photos, but her wide smile didn't reach her eyes. She knew that Richie's disappearance caused her so much pain and all she wanted at that moment was to see the happy sparkle in her eyes.

So even though she desperately wanted to continue her search for Hannah and Richie, she agreed. Because more than anything, she wanted to see Jessy happy again.

The redhead replied with an even wider smile. Jake mumbled something softly that sounded more like no than yes, but eventually walked outside with them.

How great was her disappointment when the object of her desires did not sit next to her. Brows furrowed, she looked around and saw that Jake had sat down at a safe distance from her, close to Lilly. She narrowed her eyes at the two of them as they were talking quietly, and the blonde seemed delighted.

Calm the fuck down, MC. It's his sister.

MC was so lost in thought that she didn't notice Dan and Jessy joining her. – Trouble in paradise? – the bearded man asked her with a sarcastic smile and Jessy slapped him on the shoulder. She rolled her eyes again, smiling slightly. Dan was like a brother to her, and honestly, she loved their relation. – For broken heart, I recommend whiskey with coke.

The redhead slapped him again, muttering something about how he should never drink again. However, the MC gladly accepted the glass with the drink from him, drinking it almost immediately.

* * *

Jake decided to separate himself from the MC, at least for an hour. He needed to reset his mind so that every time he looked at her, he wouldn't remember a time when they were in an empty room, lit only by his computer monitors, and all he wanted to do was touch her soft, big lips. He knew that the moment their lips touched, he wouldn't be able to control himself. It would be the beginning of the end for both of them.

So he sat next to the only person he felt any connection to. It was his sister, Lilly. The two of them sat there, the warmth of the fire warming his body pleasantly, but he felt that it was not the fire that warmed his heart. The real reason was that Lilly, a girl who had been faced with the hard fact that her father had cheated on her mother, and that betrayal had become her older brother, had totally accepted him. He expected the blonde to hate him. She won't want anything to do with him, she'll want to forget about it. None of these things happened. Lilly smiled fondly, told funny stories from her childhood, and waited for his opinion on various topics on which she spoke. He had never felt so comfortable with another human before. Of course, not including the MC who gave him hope that his life could look better. That his life doesn't have to be just constant survival, but real life. Lilly gave him a different kind of comfort. He felt like he really had a sister. He felt that she accepted him as her brother and cared for him. He felt like part of her family. He felt that Lilly was his family. The last time he felt something like this was when his mother was alive.

He pushed his mournful thoughts away, returning his mind to reality. Lilly seemed really excited because her mouth wouldn't close. He found it quite cute and was grateful that she felt comfortable around him and not awkward.

– You really like her, don't you?

Jake blinked a few times, considering his answer. Did he like her?

Sometimes it seemed to him even too much.

– Yes. – he replied quickly, feeling his cheeks heat up

Sometimes these feelings seemed to overwhelm him.

He couldn't help but look up at her silhouette. He found her immediately. She sat so that he could see her profile. And she... she was breathtaking. Literally. She was illuminated by the light of the bonfire, which only enhanced her unearthly beauty. He scanned her body with his eyes and could have sworn it had become his new private religion. Long legs, wide hips, narrow waist and roundness of her breasts. With her beauty and grace, she could compete with Aphrodite herself. He felt his blood start to boil dangerously, but he couldn't stop. Not when his gaze reached her face. Big lips the color of ripe raspberries that were now stretched into a wide smile. She was laughing. Her laughter was the most beautiful melody to his ears. Even though she was sitting quite far away, he could hear him. Then he realized that he was ready to do anything to hear her laugh every day. Because it was his favorite sound in the whole world.

Her brown hair was shiny and sparkled in the light from the fire. Christ, she was so beautiful. And her amber eyes... He could stare at them for hours. The color resembled the parchment of old books or the autumn forest. Looking into her eyes, he felt blind. Because then he couldn't see anything but her at all.

– I see that look. I think you're in love with her.

He clenched his jaw tight as he realized he'd been staring at her longer than he should have, and he'd been caught in the act.

Yes, MC was his private religion that he silently worshiped in his mind every day and every night. Every second of every fucking day. He was at her complete mercy, but somehow he didn't have the strength to fight it.

* * *

Softly humming an Arctic Monkeys song, she stood at the sink, rinsing an apple. Why did she want an apple? She had no fucking idea. Her foot was tapping the floor slowly to the beat of one of her favorite songs. She almost jumped when she heard movement behind her. She turned and was relieved to see Jake there, putting his plate on the cupboard on the other side of the kitchen. He didn't really want to have any contact with her.

He avoided her gaze. He avoided her completely, which irritated her immensely. But if he wanted to play that way, she would obey his rules.

She started toward him, and the hacker seemed to freeze to death. It was quite funny. See how much he struggles not to pounce on her at the first opportunity. He thought he hid it well, but his eyes betrayed him. They were full of lust and frustration.

She needed him so much right now. She needed his hands all over her body. She wanted to know the texture and taste of his lips. She knew full well that she would end up masturbating to fantasizing about him today.

She came to a fairly close distance, and with one of her hands began to stroke the kitchen island standing in the middle of the kitchen.

Things we could do on it if no one else was here.

STOP!

– You were avoiding me, Jake. – she responded eventually with a sigh.

Jake stayed silent and sucked in a tense breath and casts a glance your way. – I avoided you as I, uh, Became easily distracted from your presence... even now. – he grunted, tearing his eyes away from you

He is so fucking adorable.

MC jumped up and sat on the counter, crossing her legs. She was cruel, she knew it, but she wanted to teach him a lesson. That he refused her, that he avoided her and fought something that couldn't be fought.

If you like your coffee hot

Let me be your coffee pot

You call the shots, babe

I just wanna be yours

She lift the apple to her lips, he seems to follow the fruit when she place it at her lips and take a bit. The sweet juice of the fruit falls upon her lips and she look down to his own. He gulped when the single drop lingered on her lip. Shit. Her mind began to imagine the dirtiest of things, the softness that was his black hair between her finger tip as she tugged on the strands, the image of his face between her legs as he looks up at her.

But she wanted to please him even more.

She wanted to hear her name come out of his mouth as some kind of whimper. She didn't want him to hold back, she wanted to give herself completely to him. She wanted him to know how much she trusted him, that her trust was so huge that she would literally do anything for him. She wanted to fall on her knees in front of him and give him such pleasure that no other girl had given him before. She wanted to be the one he would dream about at night. She wanted to be the one whose name would be uttered by him like the sweetest poison. She wanted to feel his strong hands around her throat as he took her whenever he wanted—

– You've got sauce on your cheek. – she said in a hoarse tone. Jake frowned from his lethargy and gave her a hazy look. She giggled slightly and jumped off the counter. – Here.

She rubbed his cheek with her thumb, then, keeping eye contact with him, took him into her mouth. She saw his eyes darken and his lips part slightly. Her stomach was now convulsing in sweet pain. She wanted him so much.

Secrets I have held in my heart

Are harder to hide than I thought

Does he want her the same way she wants him? The song in the background only made them hotter.

Their breaths merged again into one quick, trembling rhythm. MC almost moaned as she leaned in to consume his mouth.

– Ahem.

They jumped away from each other sharply as Thomas stared at them from the kitchen doorway. He seemed very embarrassed and avoided their eyes. MC tried not to laugh as Jake shot him murderous looks. MC enjoyed it twice as much because she knew how much Thomas was afraid of his brother-in-law. And after this situation, she was sure that this fear would triple.

– Did something happen? – the hacker asked, or rather growled at him, and Thomas shook his head nervously.

Just don't fucking laugh, MC.

– N-No, actually, we're going to play cards and I wanted to ask if you're up for it. – he choked out and the girl burst out laughing

Forgive me Hannah, but how did you end up with a guy like that?

– Sure, I'd love to. – she replied, moving towards the living room, and after a moment Jake joined her

* * *

It was real torture.

If hell existed, Jake could have sworn he had tasted it that night. The bitter, body-wrenching taste of the hellfire she'd ignited in him. Because only God knew how much he wanted her, especially then, in the kitchen.

Staring at her juice-moistened lips, he tried to hide his own erection. His thoughts were far from the right and polite ones. He hadn't dreamed of something as much as he did now of fucking her in a long time. He couldn't beat around the bush, he wanted it from the moment she asked his name. He then found her fascinating, which was true. The truest truth. He fantasized about her almost every night, wondering what her moans would sound like, or his name leaving her lips.

He wanted to make her scream them. He wanted to see tears on her face because of the excessive pleasure he was giving her. He wanted to cum inside her, make her his.

He knew full well that tonight he would end up masturbating to fantasizing about her.

And he knew full well that he himself had caused it. He stated that they should not get close physically because that would cause more problems than advantages. He knew what his life was like. He never knew if the next morning he would have to pack up the most important things and run away to the other side of the world. He didn't want to be the asshole who wrote her sweet promises, then get laid on the first meeting, and left her speechless in the morning. Thoughts of it kept recurring and temporarily inhibited his desires.

But wanting everyone else to hear her loud moans that prove that she is his and only his.

He almost wished Phil wasn't here.

He would love to see his face when he found out who was the only man who could give her such fulfillment.

Stop the fuck, Jake. It's fucking disgusting.

They were almost at the long table where everyone was already seated when she headed over to him.

– Good luck, Mr. Hacker. You'll need it to win against me. – she said in a low tone with a cheeky smile on her lips

– You have a very daring mouth. – he said, deflecting the baton, but her answer ignited the blood in his veins again

– It's very skilled too. If you don't believe, I can always show you in a quiet room somewhere. – she whispered so only he could hear and winked at him

He let out a shuddering breath and sat down next to Dan, who was giving him sarcastic smirks.

It's time to concentrate.

* * *

It's time to concentrate.

She made it her honor to win this game against the hacker. She thought about strategy, but she couldn't concentrate. She could still feel his eyes on her. He was focused on her chest which didn't surprise her. She was wearing a low-cut blouse, which still left a lot of room for the imagination. For the first time, the man's gaze on her body didn't bother her. However, she took her phone out of her pocket to annoy him even more.

MC: Stop undressing me with your eyes

She looked up at him, making an innocent face. He clenched his jaw, then took his phone out of his pocket and texted back without hesitation.

JAKE: And you stop looking at me like that

She smiled gently.

MC: Like what? ;)

The boy didn't manage to write her back because the game had started, but by the end of the round these two exchanged hot glances across the length of the table.

***

– I'm sure you miscalculated the points. What did you get in math at the end of high school? – the indignant MC asked Thomas, snatching the score sheet from him

– I think 3. But I can add 1 to 1 if you want to know. Jake won.

The girl fell into a chair, strutted. Not only was she sexually frustrated, but she also lost to a hacker, whom she wanted to piss off even more.

– So, now I wonder what our beloved hackerboy's reward will be. – Dan asked sarcastically, winking at her, which made her blush slightly. She raised her hand and extended her middle finger towards him. Jerk.

Jake seemed to get the hint too, because he scratched the back of his neck in embarrassment.

–I think we should go to sleep now. It's after 2 a.m. and starting tomorrow, I'd like us to get back to the important stuff. – Jessy said and everyone agreed. – Jake, your room has a sofa instead of a bed. You'll have to pull it out. – Cleo said

He nodded softly and everyone went to their rooms. The MC room was, of course, opposite Jake. Is that a fucking joke or what?

As she closed the door to her room, a shaky breath left her mouth. She had had enough. This teasing with the hacker was supposed to be fun and a lesson for him, but now she was perfectly aware of how much she had brought herself to the brink of collapse. All she wanted was to come quickly, muffle her groan into the pillow, and go to sleep. After all, tomorrow they were all supposed to go back to-

Her thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock on the door. Frightened, she opened them, and when she saw Jake there, she instinctively asked if something was wrong.

– MC, I need you. – he muttered, his eyes screaming. Her name.

Before she could answer, Jake entered her room and pulled her close. And then it all happened so fast she couldn't register when his lips landed on hers. She felt his kiss hard.

So desperate

So needy.

With this act, he completely took away her ability to breathe. She returned the kiss with just as much power and strength, or even more. After a moment, he turned her around and pressed her back against the door, closing the room. It wasn't the first kiss they'd imagined, but it was just as good, if not better.

He kissed her like no one had ever kissed her before. As if his life depended on it.

She felt as if in the desert, after many months of nagging drought, the longed-for rain came.

His hands tightened around her waist as his tongue slid over her bottom lip. She immediately let him in, starting a fight for dominance which she almost immediately lost.

So, you like domination, right?

Their breathing became short, uncontrollable, and ravenous. MC ran her hands over his arms, feeling the hardness of his muscles under her fingers. She finally tangled her fingers in the strands of his hair, pulling at him, making him growl softly.

His lips left hers as he moved them to her neck. Her head automatically tilted back as he sucked on the skin around her ear. She couldn't control her moan anymore, which was louder than she expected. She bit her lip, trying to silence her own urges.

– We have to be quiet. – she gasped, and in response he gently gritted his teeth against her skin. It was getting harder and harder to do.

– What if I want them to hear us? – he asked right into her ear. He wanted them to know they had no chance. He wanted them to know that she was his.

That one sentence made another mournful groan come out of the MC's mouth.

Jake returned to her lips, giving her another hungry kiss. His cool hands crawled under her shirt, sending goosebumps down her skin. Despite the coldness of his fingers, she felt it burn where he touched her. His touch sent electricity through her body.

Without waiting any longer, he took off her shirt and tossed it somewhere on the floor. He pulled away from her lips and looked at her breasts, now hidden only by a black lace bra. His trembling hands still stayed safe on her waist. She swallowed, took his hands in hers and brought them to her breast.

Jake gasped and squeezed her breasts, and she grunted contentedly. Her nipples hardened completely under his touch, which only caused the young hacker to get closer to the exposed skin on her neck again. MC arched her back, bringing her pelvis as close as possible to his, and then felt a hard erection digging into her hip. Their moans mingled with each other now, steadily turning up the temperature of the room.

– I want you so badly. – he gasped into her ear. – You have no idea how many times I have dreamed about this. About you.

Her chest was moving at a fast, unnatural pace as she tried desperately to breathe. Sweat ran down her back, and her lower abdomen convulsed in convulsions of pain.

She finally pushed him away from her slightly, and he gave her a hazy and confused look. She didn't push him away to say she changed her mind though, that would have been very cruel of her. She did it only to push him towards the bed, forcing him to sit on it. He was watching her carefully, and his gaze alone made her want to scream.

She was drowning in the blue of his eyes, but she wasn't asking for help. She was absorbed until her last breath. She's lost, but losing has never been so good.

At that moment, she believed that people wanted to lose because of his gaze.

There was a strange dominance radiating from him that she couldn't fight. Or maybe she didn't want to?

It was absolutely disgusting, she knew it. But she couldn't stop it. She couldn't help but want to please him, especially not when she noticed he wasn't wearing his hoodie anymore. He was wearing a tight black shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

Holy shit.

His sparkling eyes never left her. He stared at her with pure adoration and desire.

And when he saw where she was going, his slightly protruding Adam's apple quivered as he swallowed.

MC leaned down to be at the height of his neck. She began to place light kisses all the way down his neck and jaw until it reached his ear. She felt Jake hold back. She saw it when she had to show him that she wasn't afraid of his touch. That he could touch her anywhere.

– You don't have to be gentle with me. I like it when you're rough and definite. – she whispered sensually, sending shivers down his skin

The boy gasped, then tangled his hand in her hair and pulled her to him in a hot and lustful kiss. She immediately felt how stronger he became, which made her smile without breaking the kiss. Without further ado, she grabbed the bottom of his shirt and pulled it off him. She didn't mind it, it was known that tight shirts on men are extremely hot, but when she noticed the slightly outlined muscles of his arms, stomach and the letter V that was hiding behind the waistband of his pants, she could almost feel her underwear getting wet.

She kissed him one last time, then moved her kisses again to the young hacker's jaw, neck, collarbones, and torso. She could hear him struggling desperately for breath, his heart beating wildly. The soft gasps leaving his mouth made her squeeze her thighs tighter.

She slowly undid the zipper of his pants, accidentally hooking her hand on his engorged erection, which made him moan softly. She took off his pants along with his boxers, and then with agonizing slowness she began to descend to her knees, not breaking eye contact with the black-haired man. She was totally at his mercy, and every touch of her skin was like not enough heroin for her.

MC was a human of sin. She didn't believe in God, heaven or hell, but at that moment she had the feeling that one of the fallen angels was standing in front of her. And she swore that if hell existed and looked like this, she would not repent of any sin she had committed on earth.

And of them all, this one seemed the sweetest and the most poisonous at the same time. She fell to her knees before him, but never before had sin been so tempting and so good.

She stuck out the tip of her tongue to play with the head of his dick. As soon as he felt her wet lips, he growled throatily, unable to stop himself.

How thick are these walls?

– Shit, MC. You are making me crazy. – he gasped, and she smiled

She did it slowly at first. She loved teasing him. However, after a moment she closed it in her mouth, and another soft moan escaped his throat.

She began to do it faster and deeper, experimenting with how much she could take. She moved her head up and down quickly, licking and sucking on his dick. Jake was no longer holding back. One of his hands was gripping the sheet so tightly that his knuckles turned white. After a while, he tangled his other hand in MC's hair and helped her, and after a long moment he began to force her head to move faster and faster.

– You are fucking breathtaking. – He gasped, his moans getting louder. They were so sinful and so hot that she couldn't help pressing her hand against her clit. Even through the fabric of his pants, she sensed the wetness and desire for any kind of stimulation, so she moaned, sending vibrations along his cock. – Fuck.

He felt dangerously close. Her lips were too kind and her eyes too innocent when she made eye contact with him. Never in his wildest dreams had he expected that this girl whose photos he admired, with whom he had been texting for several months, would look so beautiful in real life, especially when her throat was around his cock.

He didn't want to come this way. First he wanted to hear her desperate moans, like his now. So he tightened his hold on her hair and forced her to lift her head.

She gave him a confused look as he crashed into her mouth. He kissed her hard, and she kissed him back just as hard. They moaned into each other's mouths, learning the taste of each other's and their saliva. Jake bit her lip, and a loud whimpering sound came out of her mouth. It was because of it that the young hacker got out of bed and pressed against her with the heaviness of his body, forcing her to take a few steps back. She felt the desk behind her at the same time as the boy tightened his hands on her waist and gave her a lift. She sat on the surface of the counter, feeling Jake's cold hands unzip her jeans, then he and her underwear removed them from her legs. She breathed deeply. Now they were both naked. She felt him burn as he connected their lips again, his fingers tightening on her hips. She felt nothing but his touch. Time completely stopped, just like when they were writing about their meeting.

She couldn't take it anymore. She felt that now he was taking revenge on her for the few hours she had provoked him. She needed him. in her.

– Jake, please. – she begged against his lips, knowing how her pleading affected him. She noticed it while typing with him. Like when she asked him to tell her his name – Please, fuck me.

Without saying anything else, he entered her to the root. She almost screamed, arching her body. Jake broke the kiss, throwing his head back to moan almost as loud as hers.

– Oh my fucking God – he panted, pausing for a moment – Fuck, MC you feel fucking devine.

Another mournful sound escaped her throat, which she tried to muffle by biting her lip. She wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him back to her mouth. After a while, Jake began to move faster and faster inside her, and keeping silence became more and more difficult. She felt him so deeply that she knew her orgasm was very close.

He pulled away from her mouth and growled in her ear. – I want to hear you. Louder, MC. – he growled, his hot breath fanning her neck

And then she forgot where they were. She had forgotten that they were at the cottage in Duskwood with the rest of the group. Because from her throat began to grow louder and louder moans, similar to his. Jake was definitely not afraid to show his pleasure, which made her immensely happy and excited.

She tightened her legs around his waist as he thrust hard into her. She didn't know if she was still on earth or if she had died and gone to heaven, but she could have been literally anywhere in that moment. Heaven, hell or purgatory? What difference does it make when he's around?

Every piece of her skin bore his name.

Every piece of his skin bore her name.

Jake felt very close. Especially when her body tensed and reached her first orgasm.

– Fuck Jake! – she cried out in delight and her eyes rolled back

Not very gently, he grabbed her jaw and forced her to look at him.

– Look into my eyes. – he whispered. She tried to comply with his request, but it was impossible due to the pleasure he was giving her. – Look into my eyes! – he said more imperiously, pressing his thumb to her lip.

However, she did. She looked him in the eye until the end. She stared into his eyes as he ruined her. When he made her his private art. She looked into his eyes, seeing the adoration he gave her.

At one point, Jake took her off the desk and moved her to the bed, filling her up again. The room smelled like sin, and they were both sure that if the Man without a face saw it, they'd both be dead.

She felt his cock swell inside her, so she tightened her leg grip so he wouldn't hesitate a second. She wanted him to fill her. She just wanted to be only his.

After a few more hard thrusts, Jake came deep inside her. The feeling was so good that MC came again. She no longer received any stimuli, she was totally absorbed in pleasure.

Their bodies were sweaty, eyelids closed and lips swollen. Their chests were sticking together, and a few damp brown strands of her hair were tangled on the liquid gold sheets.

That night, after several months of longing, Jake and MC became one. That night the world ceased to exist, to breathe. It was only them that night.

Hacker normalized his breathing a bit, stepped out of her, and collapsed into the seat next to her. They stared at the ceiling for several minutes, trying to figure out what the fuck had just happened. They both adjusted their breathing.

– Okay. – she said quietly in a hoarse tone, breaking the blissful silence

– Okay. – he replied with the same whisper, and she smiled slightly

After one more moment, the black-haired man got out of bed and put on his boxers, looking around as she thought in search of a shirt. MC frowned, guessing something was wrong.

– Jake? – she asked quietly, but he didn't answer her – Are you okay?

He swallowed hard, standing with his back to her. He turned to her, and she saw the hurt expression on his face.

– Jake, what happened? – she asked, not understanding what was going on. – You know you can talk to me.

Then questions started popping up in her mind. Did she disappoint him? Did he imagine her completely differently? Better?

– I…– he began, but he paused to clear his throat – I don't deserve you.

What?

– What? – she asked, staring at him in disbelief. – Come here.

He looked at her and she pointed to the seat next to her. She sat on the bed, aware of the nakedness of her body. It didn't matter then. Then his feelings were the most important.

The black-haired man sat next to her, not meeting her eyes. Until she touched his arm lightly, as if she was afraid of hurting him. She squeezed his skin gently to soothe him. Hacker looked her in the eye and sighed softly. Only then did she notice that he was shaking slightly.

– We... - I mean I... I shouldn't have let that happen. – he said quietly, hanging his head

– Do you think I'm not attractive? – she asked in a slightly broken voice

Boy let out a soft, bitter laugh that hung in the air between them.

– You think you're not attractive to me? MC, you are the most beautiful human I have ever seen in my entire life. – he sighed, rubbing his face with his hand

He looked tired. Very tired.

– The problem is, I know I should never have let that happen. You know perfectly well what my life is like, I'm wanted by the government, who at the first chance would like to kill me. And not in a nice way, by shooting me in the head. And just to remind you, they were already interested in you too. – MC opened her mouth to protest, but Jake wouldn't let her. – I've been kidding myself all this time, thinking I was able to keep you safe. I'm so selfish because I thought I was coming here to protect you, but that's bullshit. I came here to see you. Because every minute without seeing you was making me psychotic.

MC's lips were parted, unable to utter a word. This is the first time he has admitted that he has feelings for her in real life. And the way he said it made it ten times more intoxicating. He looked straight into her eyes, spoke with a sincerity she had never heard from anyone before. His gaze was filled with emotion. Mainly sadness, but also something else. Something she couldn't name.

They were so stupidly in love with each other.

– The truth is, I foolishly believed that my life could be different by jeopardizing your safety. I'm fucking selfish because I know you deserve better. Someone who will give you a stable, normal life. – he cleared his throat and his beautiful, electrifying blue eyes became glassy. This sight broke the heart of a young woman who shook her head violently. She took his face in her hands and forced him to pick it up. She looked at him with power, sadness and anger at the words he was saying.

– Haven't you thought about what I want? I don't not want a stable and normal life with anyone else but you. Damn, we're in this whole fucked up situation, we met through your sister's disappearance, and I don't understand what I feel. But I feel so much for you that I can't describe it in words. – she gasped and Jake swallowed. – It won't be easy, I know! But I can't imagine my life without you anymore. And think what you want, but after we find Hannah, I'll make sure you're a free man again. God, I'll turn the whole world upside down just for you to get your happy old life back. Because no one deserves happiness more than you, Jake.

She was breathing nervously because she wasn't used to talking about her feelings. Their cheeks were red. No one had ever looked at her with such awe and adoration as he did.

– So please give us a chance. – she whispered pleadingly, feeling tears under her eyelids

Jake wasn't thinking then. About the government, about the consequences, about the Man without a face. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, burying his face in her hair. He inhaled their coconut scent, which seemed to soothe him. MC listened to the steady beating of his heart lulling her mind to sleep. Their chests were bare, but there was nothing erotic there at the moment. They felt as if in this hug, their souls were inextricably and eternally connected.

– I think I forgot what human contact felt like. – he croaked, and in response she began to play with the strands of his black, soft hair. She kissed his forehead, trying not to cry. The spoken phrase was so damn depressing.

– You said before that you don't understand how you feel. Me neither, MC. – he sighed very quietly. All the walls have come down. Only their naked, bare souls existed in that bed in Duskwood. – I want to understand, but I just can't explain it. I've never felt this before. I used to beg every day for my life to change, but I finally gave up hope. I became someone who preferred loneliness. And then you came into my life and... It's like you were the answer to all my prayers.

Those were the most beautiful words she had ever heard from someone.

– You are the promise i'm ready to keep.

Those were the last words she heard before falling asleep. For the first time in a very long time, both of them fell asleep and no nightmare woke them up. For the first time they fell asleep feeling safe.

* * *

Breakfast proceeded in a rather strange atmosphere. MC and Jake were sitting across from each other, exchanging quick and nervous smiles every now and then. Both of them were blushing, which was not like their yesterday's behavior. The tension between them was still there and grew steadily with every light touch of their hands as they reached for the same thing from the table.

– So Jake, how was the pull out? – Dan asked, grinning ironically

Jake choked on his orange juice, his cheeks burning brightly.

– W-What? – he replied nervously

– The sofa.

MC stared at her plate of pancakes, trying not to laugh.

– Good. – the young hacker said, then cleared his throat

–  I bet. *

*this dialogue is from stranger things!!

[morphomixz]

Eclipsed in Paris Pt 4 Miraculous x Reader

9:26:36 AM Thursday, April 18th Paris, France

After the first hour was up, we had maths. The teacher assigned a group project, leading to me "working" with Chloe and her minion Sabrina. By working, I mean Chloe telling Sabrina t do all the work while she gushed over Adrien Agreste, her childhood friend. Aside from Chloe, the only person who's tried to interact with me has been Sabrina who ultimately said to stick with Chloe.

Anyways, apparently, this class is learning the French equivalent of Algebra 1 in the U.S which isn't terrible. The girls I sat next to in Ms. Bustier's class have been glancing over here and whispering to each other since. If the people here are as judgemental as they are in America I may be better off returning to the U.S. The only thing that prevents me from believing this at the moment is the old man from earlier. Hopefully, he's gotten where he was trying to get to. For now, I guess I'll just look out the window.

10:39:10 AM P.E Class

I finally got away from Chloe and the two glaring girls long enough to take a breath. P.E is not my favorite class in the world, but it may grow on me since it gets me away from, well everyone who seems to have a problem with my existence. Today is just the flexibility test for the school year. I actually suffer from benign joints hypermobility syndrome so this shouldn't be too bad, well at least not until my doctor sees me next. She keeps telling me to reduce how much I push my joints so that I don't put myself in pain anymore. 

Anyways, it's partnered so I actually have a chance to talk to someone other than Chloe. My partner is a girl from my class, I think her name's Alix.

"Uh, hi. I think we're partners." I awkwardly said. 

"Yeah, just don't slow me down." was her response. 

It wasn't exactly the nicest response, but it also didn't seem to have any animosity in it. 

" Alright class, get into the sit and reach position. Your partner will push down on your back as you stretch with LIGHT pressure." came the first command from the teacher. 

Alix and I actually worked fairly well together. We talked a bit during the exercises about the school, who's who in the class, and Alix's favorite sports. I told her about New York, part of the reason I came to France, and it seems she came to a conclusion about me. Hopefully, it was a good one. 

11:45:27 AM Lunch Break

We're supposed to go to lunch at home or in the cafeteria for an hour. Chloe had something brought to the school for her, and I headed to the cafeteria with Alix. She invited me to sit with her, a guy named Kim, and his friend Max. I ended up with a tray with a fruit salad, orange juice, and a questionable-looking pear for lunch. 

"So, you're Y/N Bourgeois? The idol?" the guy who Alix called Kim asked. 

"Yeah, that's me. Though I'd appreciate it if you didn't make a big deal out of it." was my response.

"And, you're Chloe's cousin?"

"Yep. Though she and I only reunited recently. I've been living in America since I was six."

"So, you have been influenced by her very little?" was the question, Max asked. 

"Under her influence, yes. Her mother is a different story." I replied.

"Alright, alright guys. We're here to eat lunch, not dissect her traumatic backstory." Alix said, setting down her tray, to which I smiled at her. A true genuine smile, not one of my practiced model smiles. 

By the time lunch was over, I already had three friends and a permanent place to eat lunch if I wanted to.

12:53:41 PM Science

My next class had me a bit worried. Apparently, the teacher isn't the best with new students... or old students...or students in general. 

Anyways, in this class, I'm sat next to a very tall guy. According to the teacher, his name is Ivan. He seems intense when you look at him, but I'm sure he's a sweet guy when you get to know him. In fact, he seems very shy in comparison to everyone else. We were only taking notes on chemical compounds today, so it wasn't a terrible class. The teacher didn't put up with anyone messing about, but I made eye contact with Kim and couldn't help the small giggles that left my mouth. Chloe's been blowing up my phone all of the class. Apparently, Sabrina doesn't quite get chemical compounds and she thinks I may. be able to explain it to her, so she can do Chloe's homework. I guess I'm doing a slight tutoring session after school. 

2:16:36 PM Art Class

A little under three hours left of school, and I finally reached a class I can get into. I can technically do whatever kind of art I want in this class so I went over to the drawing table. Alix is doing so form of street art with spray paint, the girls from earlier are using alcohol markers, and Chloe's in the corner on her phone like always. I guess I better start working on designs for my new line like Auntie would want me to. I started with a fitted bodycon silhouette and shaded it in with a variety of reds, adding layers of black around the bottom to form a filled-out skirt.  Apparently, my presence finally got to the two girls from earlier because one of them came over and just stood in front of me.

"Can I help you?" I said, rather peeved that she was blocking my sunlight but also because she likely already assumed my personality. 

"Yeah, you're Y/N right? Chloe's cousin?"

"That would be correct. And you are?" I could feel my left eyebrow arching.

"I'm Alya and my best friend over there is Marinette. We were wondering if you were the Y/N Bourgeois who owns the fashion label "Serpentine" and does all that idol work?" 

"I am. Is that all you wanted?" I replied. 

I know my tone was rude but these girls have done nothing but glare and whisper about me all day. 

"How about you come to our table and sit with us? Marinette does some designing herself and I think you guys could bond over that." came Alya's reply. 

So I went over and joined them. Marinette apologized for the glaring. She apparently assumed I was just like Chloe but after seeing me interact with Alix, Kim, and Max she decided otherwise. She needs to work on that. It will be her fatal flaw if she doesn't. 

The two of us exchanged numbers and began showing each other our designs. Her designs are exquisite. Auntie would be impressed for sure. However, she seems awful shy about showing them off. 

3:30:57 PM History

I have 1 hour until school is over, and my last class is history in Ms. Bustier's again. I sat at the back of the class next to a girl named Lila. She immediately pulled out her phone and asked for a picture as well as my phone number. She's the only one who's made a big deal about my status all day. However, I took the picture to be polite and she tagged me in it. My Instagram began blowing up with the comments under it. Apparently, this Lila was the one I was rumored to be hanging out with. Anyways, today's lesson was on Ancient Rome, including mythology. Lila kept trying to distract me with a conversation but I wanted to remain focused on Romulus and Remus. She began blowing up my phone with texts which made me immediately regret giving her my number. 

4:30:15 PM Outside the School

Well, I made it through my first day of school without a major incident. Now, Chloe and I were waiting for the limo to show up. She's been talking to Adrien for the last 10 minutes, and he looks particularly uncomfortable with her clinginess. The limo finally pulled up, followed by another one, which I assume is Adrien's. When we got into the car, then came the beratement. 

"You shouldn't hang out with Marinette Dupain-Cheng or her friends. It's bad enough you're hanging out with Alix and Kim."

"Chloe, if I wanted your advice on friends, to which I've never been allowed to make that discernment myself I would have asked. I'd appreciate it if you dropped it because I want to be able to make decisions for myself for once in my life."

Okay, a little harsh, even for Chlo but did I lie? My first boyfriend was even chosen for me so I should get to decide who I hang out with at the minimum. At least she dropped the conversation. I headed up to my room and dropped my stuff on the couch located at the center of the room.  However, there was a strange box left on my coffee table. 

I opened the small box that had a necklace, and a small light came out of it. When it disappeared, a small bat-like creature was floating in front of me. 

"I'm sorry to say this but, who are you?"

[leighlew3]

Hi Leigh. I hope you’re feeling okay. And if you’re not, that’s fine too. We all love you and are here for you.

I know it’s probably not the best time to discuss my concern but like ptsd sometimes ruins my head and I feel extremely paranoid if I don’t try to protect someone I care about.

What I’m trying to say is(and this is entirely presuming through some of your previous posts) that sometimes you do more than your sibling. Which doesn’t mean that it’s bad unless…..it’s sort of intentional in his part?

Once again I’m sorry if this makes you mad and I get it, family can be complicated and I’m just a stranger trying to give you unsolicited advice.

I have a reason to do so and that is I’ve seen my mom under the shadows of her brother. Considering he was a monster and I’m assuming your brother isn’t. Because I only know just one part of his life. However, I’m trying to advice you(sorry for the unsolicited advice btw) because my uncle is a horrendous man. When my granny got cancer and was on her death bed, it was almost the exact situation that you had described in one of your posts. And so I got flashbacks of that time(ptsd??) and I have to admit my uncle is probably way worse considering he tried to sexually assault me when I was 10. But that’s besides the point. What I’m getting to here is that it took years for mom to recognise the behaviour and the nature of her brother until she snapped and then completely cut him off for good. But all those years, she suffered under his tyranny (?) and unfortunately I had to deal with it too.

I just hope that if your case is similar even just a little to what I described, just think about it as a whole. That’s all. I’m not telling you what to do. All I’m saying is be careful.

Much love ❤️

First, thank you, and I'm so sorry you went through that. 💜

So, my brother... was always a genuinely good guy who did the right things, when it counted most at least, especially compared to our evil, abuser 'father'. Unfortunately, he's lately been going through some sort of early mid-life crisis or something, I dunno. But he's just abandoned a lot of people and responsibilities he shouldn't. Things and people that should mean the most are now on the bottom of the priority list.

I've always taken care of our mom single-handedly. I think he's chipped in financially, barely, like... a couple minor times. And for a long time he made more money than I did, so there was no excuse. He just always even as kids amidst trauma -- checked out. His way to deal was to just... not. To run away. To shut it out. Go about his life. Leaving us to survive alone, etc at the time.

Anyway, it broke my heart when I told him this last Christmas might be our last with mom, and to please come, she wanted to be with him and the boys (my nephews) for Christmas, badly. And he instead decided to spend it with his new girlfriend of (at the time) 2 months. The boys were devastated because they could tell grandmama's health was declining and they wanted to be with her/us for Christmas...

Now, after her death, the oldest (15) has said, "Well, we didn't get to see her for Christmas and now she's gone." and the youngest (11, an extra sensitive young soul) hasn't stopped crying fairly regularly since she died. They were already dealing with their parents' split a year or so go, and then their dad basically checking out the second he met the new girlfriend. And now they lost their grandmama who loved them SO much and made them her whole world in the way she made her own children (us) her whole world.

Mom did the best she could for us under hellish circumstances, and she was not perfect, but she was a GOOD mom who loved her two children, would die for her children, always put us first above ALL, including and especially herself. She loved and cared for him so much and he just abandoned her. But for me I always saw no other option BUT taking care of her. She took care of me the first 18 years of her life. So I took care of her the last 18 or so years of hers. I told her she could retire as a teacher's aide and I'd take care of her when her back and legs got bad after years of steroid use due to her asthma + years of abuse. I took care of her, and us. For so long. And in the very end, her last year or so, I was the one bathing her, cleaning up her bowel movement bags, helping her get to the commode by her bed, I was the one feeding her, bringing her her pills, and bankrupting myself on her medical costs -- even as I myself was dealing with long COVID exhaustion/heart/BP issues. To the point that she and I even started having issues of emotional conflict due to both of us being so fucking TIRED and exhausted and frustrated, her suffering, me exhausted and at wits end mental health wise in every way. Those are things I'll forever have to live with and try to process and forgive myself for but at the hospital one night I washed her hair and face and put her lipstick on her and she forgave me for my moments of frustration, and gently thanked me for taking care of her, especially because I was the only one who ever did...

Anyway, I asked him, in order to make room for her hospice bed while she was in the hospital, if he would grab some bed cover bags for the beds to go into my storage, so hospice had room to install her literal death bed. I hadn't slept in a week, being at the hospital anywhere from 5-12 hours a day to be sure she was being treated right and wasn't alone. She hated being there alone and I refused to let her be alone. I was exhausted. His ex wife was there at the hospital with mom to relieve me more than he was. She's been there for me this whole time in ways that if I hadn't had her, I don't think I would've made it through.

So, I was running around making sure mom's whole room was redone for her comfort, the equipment, etc (for what wound up being 2.5 days before she died, but at least I got her home in time and she passed at home like I always promised her I would make sure she did) -- and I just needed him to grab $10 plastic covers from U-Haul and come help me move the beds. He came to help me move the bed, but claimed her couldn't buy the bed covers (?!). He came by a total of... 3-4 times, briefly, throughout the hospital / hospice / hell final days because his priority was his new girlfriend and her children, over his own dying mother, his sister who was exhausted, and his sons who were devastated and hurting and trying to process it all.

I love my brother, I always will, but in her final days he broke her heart. He abandoned me. And now she's gone and aside from him holding me for 30 seconds the night she died (the first time he's really hugged me in half our life) -- he hasn't even called or texted since she died, or the memorial, to ask if I'm okay. He hasn't checked on me. He's just... living his life.

One of mom's dying wishes, I even have on tape, was telling him to take care of his little sister (me) and his sons (especially due to recent events that were devastating her around all that).

And I'm breaking. And I'm not okay.

But this is where it's that thing... where it's always been mom and me, just us, against the world, on our own, no matter who else came or went. No matter what, we at least had each other.

But now she's gone.

I don't have my mom anymore, my best friend, my confidant, my biggest champion and defender... my world is gone. Half my heart and soul is gone. And I don't even have my brother either, really. Barely ever have. I took care of our mom alone most of my adult life while he got to live his. And I'm angry with him for abandoning us all this time and putting it all on me, but especially at the end. And I don't know if I'll ever be able to get past that. My mom always thought he'd come around, she only ever wanted to see the best in him, and it's heartbreaking. She loved him so much, just as much as she loved me even though I was the one who was always there for her... because she couldn't ever really face that he just... wasn't there, and wasn't going to be there.

But I was. Even in the end. And now I'm broken.

But he's just living his life.

And none of that seems fair.

But that's life, I guess.

[willel]

Idk, not once did Vecna mention Will in his monologues, not even for a second, it’s hard to believe he’s important to him. He had no reason to hide it from El since he was convinced he won and nothing was going to stop him… it looks like it’s El and El only, when she learns the "whole truth" like Brenner said, who’s going to save the day again, which is very repetitive unfortunately.

Eh, I think there is more that Vecna's hiding.

Take for example the roaring and earthquakes happening in the Upside Down. There's a giant monster in the Upside Down that he wanted her to tell El about. Also, he only showed Nancy her own family dying, we have no idea what he as in store for the rest of the team even though Vecna claims he will kill them all.

But in his finale monologue to her gloating about his victory, he didn't mention any of that in detail. He just insisted he would be destroying everything and starting anew.

We shall see when the times comes, but I feel while Vecna is very overconfident, he still didn't tell El or Nancy everything on the small chance they did manage to win this battle (which btw, he claims he knew about the whole time and was playing along. He said "You think I don't know what you're doing?" as he started showing Max the rest of the teams falling apart) Seems to me he was even planning on El showing up at some point.

This is the ultimate mega villain of the series (though I still think the Mind Flayer is the bigger threat). Are we really prepared to sit here and say and isn't aware of Will still being connected to him and the Upside Down? The minute Will stepped back in Hawkins, he was tuned into it again.

Would the big brained big bad really completely ignore Will's existence as if he didn't kidnap and possess him a year or two ago, or is it more likely he's set Will aside for a while until the rest of his plans came into fruition?

I also don't know why people get the impression that it will be "El and only El". This entire season (and season 3) as pushed forward the point that she cannot do it alone and she shouldn't have to. It's unfair to place all this responsibility on her as if it's her fault. This is Henry and Brenner's fault. They've already caused her so much suffering and pain, why should she be forced to clean up their mess all on her own?

No, it seems to me the story is leading up to El not having to face this all alone. While I talk a lot about Will's role in Vecna's defeat (only because I'm more certain about his part), I hope Kali and even Max will have roles to play in his downfall too.

Kali was also a victim of Brenner. It would be nice if after all these years of seeking vengeance, she was able to help shut down everything related to the lab once and for all. That being Henry.

As for Max, Vecna has tormented he and hurt her in ways no one else could possibly do. I'm almost certain she is trapped in his headspace right now and I hope she's going to be key on taking him down from the inside. Somehow.

The reason I really dislike the "EL ONLY" campaign because it feels like she's being punished for no reason. She is powerful, but why does she HAVE to do it alone?

[gillianthecat]

I'm finally finishing the last 30 minutes of the final episode of So I Married the Anti-Fan

The abuse apologism has made if very hard to get through. I keep wanting to throw things through my computer screen. I want to ax-murder this show. Everyone is telling In Hyung, Jae Joon really loved you. He treated you that way out of love. Even she is like, oh I was just so selfish wanting to be a successful idol. I just didn't know how to love and be loved. 😡😡😡 I am going to hunt the writers down with my axe.

But. The way I've managed to make it through this final episode is to think of the whole thing as Hoo Joon's fantasy. Not that everything is perfect, but he's suffering in the way he feels like he deserves to suffer, to be cleansed. From the very first time we saw him, his main desire was to stop living this false identity, and with this exposure he's achieved it.

And so all these things that don't make sense to me I can kind of understand if I see them through the lens of how Hoo Joon wants to end that chapter of his life. The public outrage over what seems to me like a harmless lie - a story about his identity that merely protects his privacy, one that was more his manager's fault than his - seems extreme and unfair to me (even though it's probably not for celebrity culture in general and idol culture in South Korea in particular), but makes sense if I see it as the outward manifestation of his inner anger at himself about these lies. His buying back the company building for his old CEO, feels like a fantasy of returning to the way things were at the beginning, when his CEO took care of him, and revoking all the ways that his CEO used and abused him, because he simply doesn't want it to be true. Re-framing Jae Joon's abuse of In Hyung as "love" lessens his guilt about abandoning them as he got successful. If he/the show acknowledges it as abuse, then he really should feel guilty, but if it isn't, his not intervening in the abuse (actually bad) carries the same weight as his not leaving his agency for Jae Joon's start up company (not actually bad of Hoo Joon, it's not his responsibility to ensure the spoiled rich boy's success). And so he can feel "guilt" without having to do anything about it.

It's the fantasy of man who feels guilty for things he shouldn't (while not acknowledging many of the things he is), trying to make reparations for things he isn't responsible for, but it's a fantasy nonetheless.

Even leaving Guenyoung on her own, to clean up his mess, while he goes on some mysterious errand to fix things, is part of the fantasy of having his love wait for him unquestioning. I'm not saying it doesn't fit her character or their relationship for her to wait, and I know the final episode separation is a staple Kdrama trope, but it also does nicely fit his fantasy of how this all should play out.

But then we got out of the hospital and got to this absolutely adorable proposal scene between the two producers, and all is right in the world. It's just so 🥰🥰 They're just so 😍

And ok, this reunion scene with the bouquet toss at the wedding is also adorable and trope-tastic. It's been so many weeks since I've watched this that I'd forgotten how good their easy chemistry is. This show really is at it's best when they're together. (So why did they have to separate them for so long 😭)

Wait, did I miss some scenes? They're just back to living their life together, which is charming, and shows the maturity of their relationship, but I guess I was expecting some sort of conversation about where he'd been or how things had changed. And now he's walking the red carpet again, back to being a regular celebrity? What was all that angst about then?

I was all ready to be Hooray! In-hyung's dreams of being a singer are coming true! But then they had to go back with the abuse is love, actually uwu and she LITERALLY GAVE UP AN ALBUM DEAL BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T WANT TO DO IT WITHOUT THAT ABUSIVE PIECE OF SHIT AND THE SHOW IS TRYING TO PRETEND THIS IS SWEET AND NOT FUCKING DISTURBING AND MAIM MAIM BITE BITE KILL KILL KILLLLLLLLLL

why is this show spending so much time trying to convince me that this abuse shit is romantic and not enough time with all the actually sweet couples?

what the fuck is going on? this episode makes no sense. this public marriage proposal is theoretically cute? but, i don't know, it doesn't feel very them, I guess. Like, I guess he's tired of the secrecy and wants to be openly public now? idk, the vibes are off. and then he just shoves the ring on her finger without waiting for her to say anything. and honestly they both look kind of miserable during this proposal, like they're both doing it at gun point. so weird.

Well. That happened. It didn't make much sense, but it happened. I don't know how much of it is that the abuse apologism poisoned my reaction to Hoo Joon and Geunyoung's story, or if it's a consequence of me taking so much time in between, but this episode felt pretty detached from their actual characters, and all that had come before. Like the show was just going through generic romance happy ending plot points to get them done with.

And there was no explanation of where he went off to or why? Did I miss a scene? Or even a throwaway line? I'd take anything at this point. So weird.

I don't know if I managed to articulate my thoughts about Hoo Joon and his (fantasy of) responsibility, but I do feel like this show raises some interesting questions around the idea of responsibility and celebrity. I wrote that section half way through the episode, so I was expecting it to be addressed at least a little more, but alas, this bunch of randomness happened instead.

The romance between the tv writer and the producer, Noh Do Yoon and Han Jae Won, were by far the best things about this episode. They were so cute!

[transandrophobia-truther-turtle]

I agree with you so much so much on how people shouldn't be hated just for existing. I think people are forgetting that cis and white people can also suffer and while their experiences may be different from POCs and trans people, that doesn't mean it's okay to make fun of them or harm them for existing. People want to find any excuse to normalize harm and its pretty sickening.

I'm pretty sure this is part 2 of this ask:

The website I used to go on frequently was quite when it came to men. I've seen some men politely tell the OP that they were making them uncomfortable and their only response was "oh well" or "mkay" and people would get mad at someone standing up for men. Needless to say, they were pretty tiresome and ended up on my block list.

Thank you. Yes, you're right, it's messed up that some people are happy to let others suffer and even advocate for them to suffer more, no matter what identities those others happen to have.

Isn't the point of social justice supposed to be that suffering people - who are MORE commonly minorities, and whose suffering MORE commonly is ignored, which is why we focus on those groups, but the point is that people suffering is bad - should have a better life?

When you're campaigning for privileged people (or people you just see as privileged, like various groups of trans people) to have a worse life, instead of for everyone to have a better life, something's wrong.

[midnightlizard]

How would Nia Nal react to her little brother getting hurt on a mission?

You're my responsability

Nia Nal & brother!reader

Warnings: nothing

Word count: 1.3k

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oh she'd be furious, livid even

The only words that came out of her mouth every time you got hurt were cuss words and harsh remarks.

When it comes to a small cut or a superficial bruise you could get away with a simple scolding and a slap of the wrist.

But whenever it was something serious - which in Nia's terms could mean a broken bone - she would become insufferable, snapping at everyone who dares mentioning the mission for the following days.

One could say things got a lot better after a long and difficult conversation between her and Alex, you don't know what really went down in the office the day you heard your sister shouting at the redhead, or rather with the redhead, you just noticed a much deeper bond between the two. Having more things in common than you think.

However, things were still tense with you, you tried to be patient because you knew she was just worried about you.

But sometimes she really didn't think the effect her words could have on you.

This time you got hurt. Badly. It wasn't life-treathning or anything, it just looked bad on the outside and felt worse on the inside. You'll manage, you've suffered worse things in your life.

In the week that you spent in the DEO recory room, your sister never came to check up on you. You could see her walking past the glass door time and time again. Sometimes she was wearing her suit and was clearly in a hurry, and sometime she was wearing her normal clothes, walking with someone. They would greet you with a smile and a small wave, while the only interaction you got from Nia was a quick glance towards you, before she lowered her head to look at the ground.

So much for worry.

When Alex said you could finally be dismessed you didn't know how to feel, you were obviously happy to get back to your normal life, but the mere though of having to interact with Nia - even though she was the one avoiding you in the first place - almost made you nauseous.

Alex could see the battle in your mind displayed in the crease of your eyebrows, and decided to speak up softly "You know she cares about you, right?"

You sighed "I know" you knew better than to judge your sister on a simple, very hurtful, very confusing behaviour "I just don't get all that anger towards me, I might have made a mistake but the mission was still a success"

"She's didn't ignore you out of anger, (Y/N)" you scoffed at that.

"Then why would she?" you slightly raised your voice, thanfully Alex didn't take it to heart.

She offered you a kind smile, this all situation reminding her of when Kara first revealed herself to the world "I can't tell you that, what I can tell you is that you should give Nia a chance to explain herself"

You kept replaying Alex's words in your head as your leaned your elbows on the balcony of the DEO. It was nithtime by now and the chilly air was sneaking through you light shirt hitting you warm chest. You preferred this rather than the costant tempersture of the hospital room. And the sunset was a sight to behold from this height.

"You shouldn't be out here without a jacket, you could catch a cold"

You turned around at the sound of her voice, slightly limping as you did so. You crossed you arms over your chest. She must have seen you shiver a moment ago. "As if you care"

"Of course I do" she admitted quietly, wounded by your assumption. Nia tried looking into your eyes but your hard gaze only made her lower her head once again.

Then it came. The question Nia was dreading to hear - "Then why have you been ignoring me all week?" - but one she knew she had to answer nonetheless.

"I wanted to, I really did" she began fiddling with her fingers, her eyes moving around, not daring to reach your own. This was the first time you saw her more insecure than angry. "But every time I thought about coming into your room, looking at your wounds would have brought me back to that night. And how it could have gone differently-"

"oh my god would you drop it already?" the brunette was taken aback by your outburst "you need to stop lecturing me about every single mistake i make!"

"what are you talking about?" she stammered out.

"ever since I started using my powers you have tried to stop me, I just want to help people like you but you won't let me!"

"I'm not trying to stop you!" she started screaming too now "you're my little brother, I'm trying to protect you"

You took a big breath when you saw Nia having a hard time finding words and handing them to you in a way you would understand. And screaming at each other was definetly not going to help.

You leaned back against the balcony behind you. Standing was starting to hurt but you were not planning on telling your stupidly over-protective sister that. "Look, I know what I signed up for when i started working for the DEO. I knew the risks but I still decided to take the job because helping people with my gift is what I want to do. I'm sure you can understand that. I'm not a kid anymore, you can't keep me under your wing forever"

She took a glance at the dark sky, trying to blink her tears away so her words woulnd't come out in big hiccups. "I know that, I really do" she inhaled sharply.

Had you not been holding onto the railing for dear life, you would have gone up to her and gave her your hands to play with. Something you always used to do whenever she was a little kid scared of her real self. Or a grown woman worried about her gift.

"I don't want to stop you. I just- You'd think I would be able to predict whenever my family is about to get hurt. But I never do." She finished with a shrug, gesturing to the bandages still decorating your body.

Then it hit you. You never actually saw past the facade. You always thought all her anger was a mask to her worry, that it was fake.

But it was very real, you were just not the target.

"I never expect for you to save me, you know that right?" You spoke in a much softer voice.

You carefully strided across the room, noticing Nia's gaze stuck on your limping. Once you were in front of her she reached her arms out to grasp yours to offer stability, which you gladly accepted.

"And neither should you. Your gift is to help civilians and save the city. Your little brother can take care of himself"

Lifting her head, the brunette mirrored your smile, finding comfort in the warmth of your skin under her hands.

"I'm always going to be worried about you"

"And that's fine, I'm worried about you too" your hands coming up to caress her shoulders "You could just, stop being a bitch every time I get hurt"

The hand resting on your arm became a punch and she rolled her eyes "and you could stop getting hurt every time"

"Oh come on you know damn well I don't"

After the laughter died down on both parts Nia tugged on your slevee "come on, let's go home. You're staying at my apartment tonight"

You followed her inside, surrounded by a much warmer environment. You knew the two of you had still some things to work out, Nia wasn't going to suddenly stop feeling at fault every time something happened to you, but now you could be on her side, and not on the other side of the battlefield.

Nia Nal Masterlist - Supergirl Masterlist

General Masterlist

[perpetual-fool]

I'm trying out a 'contrarian' voice.

So like, when I do whatever and the evil voice is like "you're a fucking piece of shit for that", I have the contrarian voice say "no, you should do that thing more actually". A couple days ago I was depression-eating a chip sandwich, and the contrarian advised me to eat the whole loaf of bread and all chips. And I don't want to do that? Not a revelation or anything, but it feels like my position is now contradicting what the evil voice was telling me. All it directly said was that I'm a piece of shit, so it must also be implicitly meaning that I am so because I want to eat lots of junk food. Which I don't. So the evil voice is trying to force me into a position I don't actually hold. And since that voice was what others programmed into me, that strongly suggests that that's what others are doing. Correspondingly, never in my life has anyone actually clarified what my position was. (arguably one exception, but it was at my behest and he was faking it.)

And my thoughts start going haywire about here, like, panic for no reason, so there's definitely something here.

Am I being denied a position? Currently a big one is like "feeling any kind of attraction means you only care about sex, therefore you're a pervert and shouldn't be allowed around other people". And the contrarian says "actually you should be surrounded by pretty dancing girls at all times". And I don't want that, 'cause they'd get tired and bored and uncomfortable. So among other things, I want to make someone happy. And I haven't been allowed to know that? More like 'believe' that. And, yeah. I was preemptively taught that I was 'sexualizing' women by being harassed about cheerleaders when I was dragged to sports games. And not in response to anything. I've always hated sports, I just got dragged to events by family a couple times. And if I simply looked at the cheerleaders my sister would harass me, and if I didn't look my sister would also harass me about that. And yeah, was taught I was generally wrong as a person by kindergarten blah blah, but maintained by absolutely never being acknowledged. The position doesn't exist in the culture, if expressed in person I'll either be told I'm wrong or get no response at all. No one will say "not my thing, but that's fine", or similar. Like, with guitar's tuning issue, I never found anyone saying "yeah it happens, but it doesn't personally bother me" so I thought I was just crazy for years.

Does this help anything? Sometimes, apparently. I think it might depend on being able to identify the argument. Like, last night I was feeling a bit sick, and my brain was telling me I'm bad and it's my fault somehow. (I can think of a few justifications.) But even if I had eaten a chunk of styrofoam on purpose just to see what would happen, why would that be 'evil'? Hm, because those who don't follow the prescribed behavior deserve whatever negative consequences that entails? Feels more like "..deserve negative consequences regardless of what's entailed". Sure. And then I'm extremely anxious about everything because I can't figure out what's actually prescribed. (The ostensible stuff doesn't work, so obviously those are not the 'true' prescribed behaviors.) That would be "you should suffer if you don't do what I want". And there's no argument, it's just fiat, there's nothing to refute about fiat. But this does loop around to the thought that inspired this whole rambling.

This is some Russell's teapot kinda bullshit. I'm looking for understanding and belonging and whatever, and people keep pointing me to this godforsaken asteroid. I have been scouring this rock for decades and I cannot find it. I can't prove that it's not here, which leaves me two options. If I knew why others tell me it's here, I could possibly prove the claim wrong. But others refuse to give the information needed to understand anything at all about them. So I have one option, I have to find it elsewhere. Simple enough? difficult to believe in. Because I want to be part of that world. And if I develop genuinely effective communication, I'll still be the only one who gives a shit. It's hard to think anything matters if I'm going to be alone regardless.

But is that a scam? Like, "you will be allowed to understand only if you never engage in the behaviors required to create understanding" couldn't possibly deliver on its promise. Bah, that's the "why are people directing me to the asteroid" question.

I don't think this is resolved but I do feel some gears turning.

It's annoying to keep coming to the same conclusions, feel insecure about that. But I think I've been misunderstanding the problem. As with learning most things, most of the work is not achieving a result, it's mostly running into unexpected problems and figuring out how to deal with them. So if I could go back in time one week, tell my past self "you deserve whatever happiness you can create", they wouldn't have the mental tools to accept it.

Have to leave it here 'cause I'm burned out. I'm also unusually not-anxious, less anxious than baseline. That's probably good.