#while everyone wait for the chapter to be translated here is a post to pass the time

[mari-lair]

It’s wild when I see people say Aoi is written only to be Akane’s love interest, cause Akane never hid that he is her boy.

He goes the extra mile just for a hint of her attention and had given the classic childhood friend heroine speech of "I’ll love my crush even if they never look my way."

It's framed as a joke but he is genuinely happy as long as Aoi exist, he can enjoy his life and look forward to all his days no matter how shitty they are (Teru bullies him, the clock keepers work him dry, he gets rejected constantly, and so on,) as long as Aoi is alive and happy.

He is ridiculously easy to please when it comes to Aoi.

And while Aoi does loves Akane, visibly being affected by him: As seen by her possessive attitude, her wish to be closer to him, and the way his hard work influenced her, she doesn’t try or want her world to revolve around him.

Yes, she will cry and crumble if he doesn’t like her because she cares deeply, their relationship is a solid part of her character, but she has plenty of hobbies and plans without him, most of her problems are caused by herself or society's views and expectations of her, she wouldn’t do what Akane asks of her or change for him, not unless he is asking for something she also wants for herself.

Let’s compare how they talk about each other for a bit.

The only time Aoi talks about her feelings for Akane is in chapter 84, which is very far into the manga.

And this exposition shows her envious and insecure side, how she admires kindness and wishes she was as lovable: It shows a conflict that says as much about Aoi’s character as it does about Akane’s character.

Meanwhile, Akane consistently talks about her, and most of his expositions don’t offer any substance to his character, other than “he is in love”.

The only exposition that says as much about himself as it does about Aoi is the one in chapter 24, which shows he stalks her, and Aoi encourages it, since she trusts him, and unfortunately, she have been in need of constant protection from a young age:

Even when Akane explicitly says he’ll talk about himself.

He doesn’t.

He  proceeds to spend the whole chapter talking about Aoi.

The only thing he says about himself in that entire rant is “I hate that part of you”, which he later admits was a lie, something that he used to have her stay and listen.

He isn’t just her boy, he has a life outside her, a very busy life.

As Aoi put it, “He works hard and is dutiful.” which mostly translates to ‘helpful and trust worthy’, so he is constantly seen giving other characters advise that works or making them snap out of their bullshit: He is the reliable one.

His classmates respect him , Teru trusts his judgement, and hell even Kou, who barely interacted with Akane had called him and not a close friend like Nene, when he felt powerless and needed help.

But no matter how seriously he may take his duties or want to help people, Akane has decided he was born to love and protect Aoi.

That’s his priority, always.

His only long term goals involve Aoi, he devoted all his heart and soul to her.

If she wanted Akane to change his style to clothes he would never wear on his own, or make him get into new hobbies, or tell him to score lower than her, he would do it right away: He is comfortable being her boy, he’ll throw his pride away with no hesitation for her and do anything to make her happy to an extreme even most ‘heroines’ I see wouldn’t cross.

The one thing Aoi made VERY clear despite never saying out loud is “Keep your eyes on me. Don’t flirt with anyone else.” and that’s a wish that Akane took to heart, to the point that he is the only character that stays ‘loyal’ to his love interest even on silly extra events, like the ‘kiss day’ arts.

Everyone else send a kiss, no matter if they have a love interest or not, since is just a fun little bonus.

Akane only starts to touch her when he is confident Aoi likes him too: When he assumes she wants him, before that he always kept a certain distance, understanding he ain’t entitled to shit just because they are childhood friends.

Akane is far from perfect, he can be selfish and self centered, his approach to help usually tactless, but at his core, he always seek to do what Aoi wants, no questions asked.

His devotion is extreme to the point of being unhealthy, but he isn’t lying or trying to please Aoi here: As long as she is alive, and enjoying life, he will be delighted doing any of the things she wants. Her best hairstyle in his eyes is always the one she chose to style, the best clothes are always the ones she wants to wear.

There is nothing he likes more than her. Or to make her happy.

Even what Akane loves to do the most, which is to gush about Aoi nonstop until he looks batshit insane, is something that she had encouraged and never complained, no matter how much it escalated, so he was convinced she loved the attention.

Once she is honest and admits she doesn’t like it, he immediately tries to drop it.

He still has an ‘I was born to love you’ mentally, he just stop putting on a show, or trying to make her heart flutter. Most of his displays of worry, affection, or ‘ill protect you’ became either quiet or casual.

...Still.

He can’t help but show his love loudly from time to time, he is cringe at heart, truly hopeless, but he is trying his best.

In short: Aoi is in desperate need for more character focus, but the one determined to make their life revolve around their love interest is clearly Akane.

[lily-fics-11]

The Girl Next Door: Chapter 2 (Hazel Callahan, Bottoms)

Fic master post here (feel free to comment to be added to taglist)

The Girl Next Door

You hadn't been close with your neighbor Hazel for years. But you find her beat up in the locker room after fight club and all of that changes.

Chapter 2

Car rides with Hazel have you falling for her harder than ever. 

CW: mentions of blood and injury, mentions of violence, cursing, Taylor Swift references (I know not everyone is a fan so if people don't like it, I won't add anymore) *not beta read

You and Hazel walk to your car in silence. You get in the car and pass her the aux. “You still listen to Taylor Swift?” She asks shyly. 

“Of course I do!” You tell her with the biggest smile. She remembers your favorite singer. Does she remember all the times you would sing those songs together?

“What do you think about the new albums? And the re-recordings?” Hazel sounds excited to talk about Taylor Swift too, she remembers. 

“The 10 Minute Version of All Too Well has literally changed my life.”

“Should I put it on?”

“Absolutely!”

Before you know it you are on your way home, scream singing the 10 Minute Version of All Too Well, with Hazel. Since the song came out you’ve been listening to it over and over and thinking about her. There were so many lyrics that reminded you of your relationship with her. 

Her sweet disposition, and your wide eyed gaze. Being able to picture it after all these days. You might be okay but you’re not fine at all. How you got lost in translation. You had lost the one real thing you had ever known. It was rare, you were there, you remember it all to well.

But singing these lyrics with her, it was healing all those old wounds in a way you didn’t know was possible. You were stealing glances to see the smile on her face. Sometimes she would catch your gaze. As the words “ever lovely jewel” play she’s looking right at you.

Usually you were happy to live so close to the school. It was convenient. But with Hazel beside you it just wasn’t enough time. It’s hard to keep the smile on your face as you pull into your driveway, knowing that your time together is about to end. 

As soon as you are parked Hazel throws open the door, like she’s trying to run away. 

“Wait!” You yell at her, wondering why she’s so anxious the get out of your car. You do have to admit that this was a little overwhelming for you and it probably was for her too. She was the one that left you. She probably never wanted to be in this situation. 

She’s halfway out the door when she acknowledges you. She doesn’t say anything, just stares at you. 

You nervously clear your throat. 

“I just wanted to see if 8:00 was good for tomorrow morning…”

“Yeah. Yes. See you then.” Is all she has to say before she’s out and walking away from your car.

You were hurt for a moment but you started to watch her walk away and you realized that her wearing your sweatshirt meant that she was wearing your last name across her back. You just started giggling and then you punched your fist in the air and said “yes” when you thought about the smell of your perfume being stuck on her, even if it was only for a little while. You were never religious but you point up at the sky and say thank you. 

That night you spent about an hour curating the perfect outfit and set your alarm for an extra hour early so you would have time to perfect your makeup. 

When your alarm goes off the next morning you are immediately up and getting ready for the day, which is as stark contrast to your usual slamming of the snooze button. 

You usually just filled in your eyebrows and put on mascara for school but today you were going to be the first person Hazel saw and you wanted to stay on her mind all day. 

You start with your face. A little bronzer to warm up your face and a little blush to liven you up. Some highlighter on your cheekbones and the tip of your nose to catch light, and Hazel's attention. You also add a bit of highlighter to the inner corner of your eyes to draw her eyes right where you wanted it. You add a subtle wing to further accentuate your eyes and then do your usual mascara and brow routine. You finish off with your lips. You over-line them with a darker brown and fill them in with a nude lipstick to make them look as full as they can. You add a layer of lip gloss on top to make them look as inviting as possible. Not that you expect anything to come of this, but you can dream, right?

Your light wash ripped jeans are high waisted and perfectly hug the shape of your body. Your shirt is the perfect amount of low cut to highlight your assets and short enough to expose a tasteful amount of midriff. You put on your trusty pair of converse for good luck. 

You are in your car a few minutes early feeling a mixture of nerves and excitement. You sip on your coffee as you wait for Hazel. 

The clock hits 8:00, no Hazel. Not a problem though. You told her a few minutes early because you know she has a tendency to run late. That girl is nothing if not easily distracted.  

Hazel emerges from her house at 8:05 looking a little disheveled. She’s got hair sticking up out of place and she’s wearing… holy shit she is wearing your sweatshirt again!

Hazel plops down into your car. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to be late. I was just thinking about… things, and lost track of time.”

“Don’t worry about it.” You tell her, and you can’t help yourself from pointing out “I see that you’re still wearing my sweatshirt.”

Her eyes widen, pupils dilating, and a bright red flush appears on her face. 

“I, um, fell asleep in it last night. And I didn’t have time to find another sweatshirt after getting dressed,” she tries excuse but you don’t need any justification. It takes everything in you not to giggle and kick your feet. Your sweatshirt. On Hazel all night. The smell of your perfume on her and now on her pillows and sheets. 

You just nod, “makes sense.”

“I didn’t even have time to make coffee,” she shakes her head in disappointment.

You are not really sure what caffeine would do to someone like Hazel but you still offer “you can have some of mine.” You didn’t think it was possible, but she is blushing even more.

“No, it’s totally fine. It’s my fault I don’t have any coffee. I’m the one that got distracted. You shouldn’t have to give up any of your coffee because I’m a mess.”

“I don’t usually finish it before it gets cold. So feel free to go for it.”

She doesn’t say anything.

“We used to share everything, right?” You remind her.

“We used to share everything.” She echos. 

She mumbles something under her breath that you can’t quite make out. But to your surprise she picks up the coffee and takes a sip. 

You bite down a smile when you see a bit of your lipstick on her mouth, it must have gotten left behind from when you were drinking it. 

“What?” She questions, seeing your failed attempt at holding back a smile.

“You’ve got a little something…” you motion to your mouth. 

She looks confused and opens the visor to look in the mirror. You expect her to be upset that your lipstick got on her but she just giggles. “Believe me, this color looks very good on you, but I think it looks even better on me.”

You can’t help but giggle too.

To your surprise she doesn’t bother to wipe the lipstick off, she just leaves it there. Leaving behind the indirect connection of your lips for anyone to see. Not your ideal way to leave your lipstick on her lips but you can’t complain either. 

Your sweatshirt. Your lipstick. You feel like you are going to pass out. 

You clear your throat, “we should probably get going…” Hazel nods in agreement. 

You turn on the car and put it in reverse. 

“Can I have the aux?” She asks.

“Go for it.” You pull out of the driveway. 

“I made us a playlist.” Your jaw drops and you accidentally slam on the breaks. 

You look at Hazel and Hazel looks at you in a panic. “I’m so sorry!” You tell her.

“It’s ok, it’s fine, it’s all good,” she tries to assure you but she is clearly fearing for her life. How stupid could you be? Hazel will never get in your car again after this!

You just stare at her for a minute trying to gauge where she’s at. She clears her throat. “You should probably drive now…” she suggests.

You just nod and start to drive, focusing on the road, afraid to make eye contact. 

“So, the playlist,” she says very hesitantly, “it’s all the Taylor Swift songs we haven’t gotten to listen to together.”

Your mouth drops open and you are speechless.

Her eyes widen, and she quickly tries remedy the situation “if you don’t want to listen to it we don’t have to!”

“No! That’s not it. I’m just surprised. That’s all.” You mumble, just clear enough for her to understand what you are saying. 

“I always used to make us playlists,” it’s her turn to remind you. The memory is a little bittersweet, tainted by the years of separation.  Music starts playing over the speaker. 

If there is one thing people should know about Hazel it’s that she’s a talker. She can talk about anything and everything for hours on end. But in the best way possible. She always puts a smile on the face of whoever she is talking to. It’s quite endearing. 

Hazel goes off on a tangent about fight club. After telling you the story of how she ended up in the state you found her in yesterday she pauses for a moment. 

“You could always come with me today, to fight club. We meet everyday after school.” She shyly offers.

“Hazel I don’t know if you remember the blood all over you yesterday, but I do. And you have a black eye.” You are thinking it but neglect to mention how the black eye and smear of your lipstick are making you feel a certain type of way. 

“Yes there are, side effects, but it’s worth it to learn how to defend yourself. I wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to you.” That last part comes out as more of a mumble that may not have been intended for you to hear. 

You start to take the offer into consideration. How far are you willing to go to spend more time with Hazel? You don’t want to seem desperate, doing something you clearly don’t want to do just for her. So you ask “Isabel and Brittany are in the club, right?” They are two of your very close friends. 

“Yeah, and a bunch of other girls. I promise that everyone is really nice. Everyone except PJ. No one is trying to hurt you. Everyone except PJ. But if you are worried about who you are going to have to fight, you can just pair up with me until you get comfortable. You know I would never do anything to hurt you.” A lump forms in your throat and you focus on the road, afraid that if you look at her you will burst into tears. If asked at the age of 13 you would have said that Hazel would never in a million years do anything to hurt you. You absolutely believe she would never physically harm you. But she didn’t just break your heart, she ripped it out of your chest and stomped on it. If anything you would have preferred for her to have punched you square in the face. That pain would have only been temporary. A million thoughts are swimming through your mind but you snap back into reality once you realize that you just parked your car. 

You thought the pain of losing Hazel was the worst thing you would ever feel. But now that you are thinking about it, missing out on the opportunity to get Hazel back would be astronomically worse. You remind yourself that you wouldn’t be getting Hazel in the way that you truly want her. But it was better than not having her at all. You turn towards her and she is looking at you expectantly. 

You let out a deep breath you don’t know you were holding in when you tell her: “fuck it, I’m in.” Her face lights up.

“It’s going to be great,” she assures you, “I promise.” She holds out her pinky and you feel butterflies in your stomach. You hook your pinky around hers and you both kiss your thumbs. The way you always used to.

[atiny-piratequeen]

Against the Tide: Seventeenth Dal Segno (Ch.17)

Pairing: Poly OT8

•❥ Rating: Explicit (18+)

•❥ Genres: Heavy Angst, Action, Romance, Fluff, Smut, Fantasy

•❥ Series AU Tags: Demon Pirates, Supernatural, Poly Relationship (mxm), Past and Modern Day AU, Mythology Au, Slow Burn, Slice of Life, College Au, Rock Band Au, Happy Ending Endgame

•❥ Chapter Tws: Guilt, Mentions of Past Main Character Death, Reincarnation, Attempted Murder Mention, Exhaustion from Overworking, Blood, Injury, Panic Attack, PTSD

•❥ Chapter Sws: Intercurial Sex, Size Kink, Praise Kink, Pet Names, (Accidental) Flashing, Teasing, Dirty Talk, Many, Many Consent Checks, Mutual Masturbation, Consensual Penetrative Vine Sex, Consensual Aphrodisiac Nectar Use, BDSM Undertones, Protected Sex, Ruined Orgasms, Virginity Loss, Hints of Sub Space

•❥ WC: 12.7k+

•❥ A/N: I didn't intend for this to take a motherfucking YEAR to get out, but here we are. After several episodes(tm) and struggles later, we're here. Thank you for everyone who waited patiently or kept the excitement brewing through asks and the like. It means the world to me and I appreciate you all. Bonus points to anyone who reblogged and shared my work, yall are the realest mwah xoxo. Also, if you haven't yet, maybe check out my new universe Ataraxia while you wait for the next chapter?

•❥ Taglist moved to the bottom of the work. if you’d like to be added to the taglist for this or my other works, feel free to fill out the form here after reading the full post.

•❥AO3

•❥ ©atiny-piratequeen 2023. do not repost, translate, or use my works.

•❥Network Pings: @kwritersworld​ | @kdiarynet​ | @k-vanity​

•❥← previous dal segno                 next dal segno –>

(banners used created by @cafekitsune thank you sm!)

-Sunday, March 24th, 8am-

-228 Days Remain-

Hongjoong’s life was quickly becoming full of firsts. 

Of all of them, he found waking up pressed against Yunho was definitely at the top of that list of new developments.

Though…he supposed this wasn't the first time. 

This memory thing was going to be…complicated, he could tell.

With a frown, Hongjoong looked up, reaching to cup Yunho’s face gently. His breath came out in small, halted puffs, careful any given exhale would wake the taller man. 

Yunho’s face twitched for a brief moment before he pressed into Hongjoong’s small hands, humming quietly.

Hongjoong worried his lip between his teeth, gently rubbing Yunho’s cheeks. The events of last night rolled through his mind, his cheeks darkening as he remembered his state of undress.

His thoughts caught up to him, reminding him of how his bath had gone.

🧼

"It's okay if you fall asleep, I'll be watching over you."

Hongjoong tiredly looked up, curled up in a towel Yunho had fetched for him, taking in the handsome man's features for the umpteenth time that evening. 

Somewhere in the back of his mind, there was a passing thought. One of the other men in the house could see him like this as Yunho walked down the hall. There wasn't any sense of urgency in the taller man's strides, and Hongjoong could imagine any moment one of the doors they were walking by would open and he'd have another pair of eyes on him. 

….

His brain was too tired to process the way that thought alone made his heart flutter and hiccup in his chest.

Yunho finally got to the bathroom, setting him on the toilet seat and pressing a kiss to his head before moving to run the bath water. Hongjoong watched his backside, hugging the towel around himself as a small draft made goosebumps rise on his skin.

"Oh, darling you're shivering. Hold on-" Yunho, who must have turned to address him at some point and noticed his shivering, rushed over to the door once more. 

"Yeosangie!"

Hongjoong’s eyes widened, his head snapping towards him as he heard the sound of rushing footsteps.

"Hm? Yu? What's wrong?" Yeosang’s gentle voice chimed in as he stood in front of the door. Yunho blocked the view of Hongjoong casually with his body as he smiled in greeting.

Yes, they had seen him naked countless times before, but this Hongjoong still had no clue about that and Yunho wanted to respect him as much as possible. 

"Hi baby, I know it's late, but do you mind turning the heat up in the house? It's cold." 

Yeosang smiled and nodded, cupping his cheeks and pulling him down for a chaste kiss. 

"Anything else you need, puppy?"

Yunho glanced behind him, locking eyes with Hongjoong. He nearly snorted at the deer-in-headlights expression on his face before he looked back towards a patiently waiting Yeosang. 

"Just some warm towels, if that's alright?"

Yeosang stole another kiss and nodded. 

"It'll be there when you get out. Call me if you need anything else. Have a good night’s sleep, my love." Yeosang looked towards Yunho’s shoulder for a moment, where he knew Hongjoong was just beyond view. A selfish part of him wanted to see him. See the flustered mess Yunho had left him in.

 The brunette doctor knew all of their bodies better than even they knew themselves. 

It had been…entirely too long since he’d been able to think about any of those types of expressions on Hongjoong’s face after they'd lost him. Yeosang had promised to never use his foxfire to create a double of any being they'd lost, and he took that very seriously. 

Though, he'd be lying if he said he wasn't tempted to split himself and make a Hongjoong copy on the particularly rough nights. 

His resolve remained strong, however. 

Hongjoong made him promise to never use his fire to "replace" the dead anymore and he'd be damned if he disrespected him and his memory like that by disobeying.

Guilt would swallow him whole if he did. Yeosang was sure of it.

He must have been clearly lost in his thoughts longer than expected, as a gentle kiss to his lips brought his focus back in front of him. 

The ex prince looked up and flushed slightly. 

"Sorry…zoned out. I'll get right on those things now." He once again glanced at Yunho’s shoulder before meeting his eyes.

"Give…give Cap a kiss for me please?" He whispered. Yunho nodded and smiled brightly. 

"I'll give him kisses for all of us. Soon you can give him kisses yourself." He responded softly before backing into the bathroom. 

Hongjoong looked up at him, flustered. 

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake anyone…"

"I called him. If anyone should be sorry, it's me. C’mon let's get you cleaned up." 

Hongjoong quietly watched Yunho strip down, frowning when he noticed the brunette man was still half hard. A small sense of guilt overcame him as he stared. 

"Joongie?"

"I'm sorry..you never..um..finished…" Hongjoong wished the floor could swallow him sooner than later at the surprised look Yunho gave him. 

"Oh? Please don't worry. I'm not bothered by it."

Somehow that made the pianist feel worse, his frown settling in his features. If only he hadn't gotten tired they could have-

"Hongjoong."

Apprehensive eyes met kind ones as the two stared at each other.

"If it bothers you that much, we can fix it."

That's how, ten minutes later, Hongjoong ended up bent over the tub, gripping the edge as Yunho thrust between his thighs, his cock sliding between them as Hongjoong squeezed them close together. 

Hongjoong’s head was spinning, once again finding himself really enjoying the size difference between the two of them. Yunho gripped his hips, balls slapping against his ass as he purred praises to Hongjoong 

"You have mmm..such a hold on me, even your thighs can make me cum~" 

Hongjoong’s thighs were probably red by now, his breath coming out in quick puffs as he held the tub. Yunho’s lips found their way to his neck again, kissing and nipping as he placed his palms over Hongjoong’s, holding his hands as his breathing began to come out irregularly.

Hongjoong looked behind him, catching and holding Yunho’s gaze as he rocked his hips back. Even while aroused, Yunho’s eyes held a warm and inviting gaze that made Hongjoong melt below him. 

“Will you cum for me, Yunho?” The words slipped from his lips before he could think twice, though he almost looked away in embarrassment. Yunho let out a noise that sounded like a cross between a groan and a whimper as he nodded his head, leaning closer and holding his hands a bit tighter. Hongjoong arched his back, his lips hovering below Yunho’s as he clenched his thighs tighter together. 

“Then cum for me, Puppy.” 

The oreo-haired pianist was grateful for Yunho’s firm hold on him. Had he not have had it, Hongjoong undoubtedly would have fallen over as Yunho’s hips worked faster, chasing the orgasm he’d gotten permission to have. 

Hongjoong’s cheeks ignited as Yunho finally came between his legs, making a mess of his thighs as he rocked his hips, milking his own cock with Hongjoong’s thighs. Once he was finished, he pressed kisses onto Hongjoong’s shoulder, hugging him close and keeping him upright as he took in a long, steadying breath. 

Hongjoong smiled and put his hands over Yunho’s, pride blooming in his chest that he could at least do this, since he’d ruined their previous endeavor in his mind. 

As if sensing Hongjoong’s mind wandering, Yunho picked him up, kissing his head as he lowered his voice to a familiar tone that made him melt. 

“C’mon. I promised you a bath. Let me give you one and we can get to bed.” 

Hongjoong smiled and nodded, turning to steal a kiss as Yunho guided him into the tub. 

🛁

While he was daydreaming, Hongjoong missed the signs of Yunho stirring. It made him startle when he finally focused back on the present and found Yunho’s tired eyes staring back at him. 

“Good morning.”

Hongjoong flushed at the tone of voice before blinking at the cadence. It was slightly off, an accent that didn't match up to Yunho’s usual one. It also tumbled deeper, and Hongjoong realized it wasn’t Yunho at all. 

“G..Geb?”

Icy eyes stared back at him as a kind smile stretched over the taller man’s face. 

“You remembered me, as well? I’m very flattered. Good morning, Hongjoong.” 

Hongjoong blushed, his fingers twitching on Geb’s cheek. He wondered if he should let go for a moment, before biting his lip. 

He still had so many questions

“You look like you have something on your mind.” 

“I…this is just a lot to take in.”  

“I can imagine. Is there anything I can do to ease your worries?”

Hongjoong wanted to ask questions. Get clarity. But part of him remembered the brain splitting headache he'd gotten last night. 

Just wait. Yunho said he'd help.

“Hongjoong.” 

His head snapped upwards and he looked into warm brown eyes, finding Yunho staring back at him in concern. 

Yunho was in control now, reaching to caress him gently. Hongjoong found himself pressing more into his touch, eyes closing. The ex doctor gently ran his thumb over the apple of his cheek. 

“How did you sleep?” 

Yunho hummed, eyes drifting up as if pondering it seriously. Hongjoong poked his cheek, arching a brow at him as Yunho began to laugh. 

“Yah, don’t make me anxious like that.” 

Yunho laughed and turned to kiss the tip of his finger. 

“I haven’t slept that well in a very long time. You could say I slept like a rock.” He beamed, mentally high 5ing the earthen god inside of him as Hongjoong stared at him, eyes squinted for a moment. 

“Did…did you just make a rock pun?”

The sound of Yunho’s joyous laughter and Hongjoong’s half-hearted complaints carried down the hall as Cheese slowly lifted his head, shaking himself out as he moved to sit by the back door. 

He didn't want to scare the new friend.

Outside, Mingi sat with his back to the home, fiddling with a leaf between his fingers. His mind swirled slightly, complex emotions mingling and tangling in his head, though outside, his face remained blank and neutral, counting the veins at the back of the leaf. 

A hand appeared before him, holding a cup of coffee. He looked up, his thoughts quieting for a brief moment as his eyes met steel grey. He looked at the coffee, lips pursed. 

“....”

“It’s cold out here and you’re up early. I made an extra cup for you.” 

“....”

Seonghwa’s eyes looked towards the pavement below both of them for a moment before he knelt down and set the coffee cup on a wooden box Mingi was using for his gardening equipment. 

Mingi’s eyes didn’t follow him. 

“....I’ll be out today. I let the others know. If you need me, please contact me.”

Mingi turned to look at him out of the corner of his eyes as Seonghwa stood once more, hesitating for the briefest of moments before he turned on his heel and walked away. 

Once the door was closed and Seonghwa’s form had disappeared from view, Mingi let his head thump back on the side of their home, looking up towards the sky. 

‘If you need me.’

There were many clouds in the sky today. 

-9am-

Hongjoong shuffled slightly as he sat at the kitchen table. Yunho had lent him one of his shirts, but he didn’t realize they would be eating out at the table with the other gentlemen of the house. 

He…he would’ve put pants on.

Instead, he was acutely aware of the fact he was in a pastel pink sweater that left all of his collar out and exposed, bite marks still bright red and dotting his skin.

And he was completely cock and ass out underneath this damn thing. 

At a time like this, Hongjoong was glad for his stature and that the size difference between him and Yunho had come in handy for something else other than his incredibly feral mind. 

“Here you go, Hyung!” 

Hongjoong looked up as Yeosang swooped into view, setting a plate in front of him. He looked down, eyes widening and his mouth watering as he noted the fluffy pancakes, scrambled eggs, and both bacon and sausage taking up the plate. Yeosang smiled at him, seemingly to the moon at the way Hongjoong’s face lit up when he took his first bite. 

“This is amazing!” 

A twinge of pink came to Yeosang’s cheeks as he bowed slightly, hiding his gaze with his bangs before he set the second plate beside Yunho. The tallest of the trio smiled as well, reaching to lace his fingers through Yeosang’s silky-looking brunette hair. He pulled him in, kissing him slowly. The ex-prince made a muffled surprised noise before melting into the kiss, holding the small platter he used to bring their plates over close to his chest. 

Hongjoong watched them out of the corner of his eyes, cheeks slightly bulging. 

He’d wondered between all of the heated touches yesterday with Yunho, if there would come a time when he felt jealous of the other men his new boyfriend was in a relationship with. He’d acknowledged how ridiculously selfish that came off as, him being the new person to suddenly start dating their boyfriend, and to get jealous over his time spent with them…

But something deep within him made him feel that wouldn’t be a problem. 

Instead, he felt a sense of relief wash over him. 

Aside from Wooyoung and San, he admittedly, hadn’t seen any of the eight men being overly affectionate with one another, at least not in front of him. While he was well aware some people just preferred to keep those things private-his sister with Chan or Changkyun with Jooheon, for example-something about the demeanor of the men seemed…strained and it made him quite sad. 

But now, for this kiss Hongjoong was realizing he had been staring at for way too long, the pianist felt happiness bloom. A small voice in his mind sighed in relief. 

‘They’re okay…’

Hongjoong blinked and sat up straighter, looking away with a deep blush. Regardless, he should stop staring. He’d hate to have to explain why he’s looking so hard at the two kissing beside him. Or, worse yet, come off as jealous when he’s just gotten into this relationship of his. 

He turned his gaze back up front and immediately choked. 

Ass. 

A very fine and very toned ass, he might add. 

God, is this it? Is this the day Hongjoong fucking dies?

He pounded on his chest, coughing as he realized it was Jongho. The pair of briefs he had on clung to his ass for dear life while he half turned to look in Hongjoong’s direction, arching a single brow. 

“You okay, Ca-Hyung?” He corrected himself, watching as Hongjoong wheezed, covering his mouth. Yunho immediately broke away from Yeosang, eyes wide as he flew over to get behind Hongjoong. 

Suddenly, his chair was pulled out and he felt himself get lifted as Yunho’s arms came around to pick him up. 

“Hold on, I got you!” 

Now, Hongjoong had been trained for a significant portion of his life on how to fight and defend himself. He had certain instincts that were in him. Including when being suddenly grabbed from behind. 

One of the said instincts is to immediately try and break free of said grab. 

The moment Yunho slightly lifted his bare feet from the ground, Hongjoong’s lower body immediately jolted, his hands flying up to grab onto Yunho’s hands. 

He instantly regretted the decision when he felt the ends of his shirt go up, completely flashing everyone in the room.

Of course, as soon as he had flashed everyone, Mingi stepped inside. 

Yunho paused, eyes wide as Hongjoong's feet dangled an inch above the floor. 

"U..uh…did I get it?" Yunho quietly inquired as Hongjoong went red to the tips of his ears. 

"YUNHO PUT ME DOWN."

Yunho set him down immediately, clearing his throat as Hongjoong plopped down in the chair, covering his face. 

Jongho tilted his head to the side before looking down at his state of undress, tā moko and scars adorning his muscular frame. 

Ah, was the Captain embarrassed by his nudity?

'If that's his reaction right now, maybe we should be naked next time and really give him something to look at.'

'SHUT UP.'

While Jongho didn't blush at the initial incident, his face darkened at the notion ever so slightly, thrown off at the idea.

'Are you fucking BLUSHING? Right in front of me? We're CONSTANTLY naked in front of our lovers.'

'I should have killed you holy shit shut up shut up-'

'.....'

The silence in Jongho’s mind immediately made him on edge and once he felt the fractured god inside of him smirk, he knew he was in for some bullshit. 

'Ah. I know what it is. How long has it been since the baby bear has felt the intimate touch of his lovers, hm? Does it make you flustered to think of their eyes on you? Wanting and needing your touch? I'm inside of you, Jongho. I know exactly how pent up you are. And the little Captain is just as loud as we always remember, maybe we should-’

“Oh my gods-”Jongho’s minor outburst startled Hongjoong before he excused himself, storming down the hall, cheeks darkened as he cursed Whiro out in Maori. 

Hongjoong peeked through his fingers, watching the youngest leave before deflating slightly, feeling like he was the cause. Mingi grabbed a plate quietly and thanked Yeosang before leaving, as well. He passed San without a word as he headed up to his room. 

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry-” Hongjoong mumbled into his palms, his face once again ignited. Yunho rubbed the back of his own neck, putting an arm over Hongjoong. 

“S-sorry I misunderstood and thought you were choking-”

Yeosang looked the two men over and laughed behind his hand. They still had a ways to go, but the chaos of the morning had reminded him of days since past. 

“Don’t worry, we’re a house full of men, it’s not like it's something we haven’t seen before.” He smiled as Hongjoong turned his gaze to him and from the stove, San turned and rose a brow. 

“Wh…what? What just happened?”

-12pm- 

Hongjoong fidgeted as he sat in the passenger’s side seat, Yunho had driven him home, but for the first time in his life, Hongjoong hesitated to go to his own home. 

He wanted to stay with Yunho longer. 

As if he’d picked up Hongjoong’s silent conflict, Yunho leaned down to lightly kiss his temple. 

“Do you want me to come inside? It's Sunday, so I don’t have to rush home. If you’d like me to stick around a bit.” 

Hongjoong shook his head, worrying his lip between his teeth. 

“N-no it's okay, I should probably let you go so you can spend time with the others…I’m still so sorry about this morning I didn’t mean to-”

Yunho looked into his eyes for a while before he chuckled and ruffled his hair. 

“I know it was a bit chaotic, but I doubt any of them actually mind. I’ll go for tonight but Hyung,” He lifted Hongjoong’s chin, kissing him slowly and slightly crowding him against the door. When they separated, Hongjoong’s face had once again turned a brilliant shade of pink. 

“I look forward to the next time I get to fall asleep with you in my arms.” He sent him a wink, followed by a smile that lit his face up, laughing as Hongjoong lightly swatted at his chest. 

“F-flirt!” He grabbed his bag and quickly exited the car, hugging the coat Yunho had lent him close to his chest. He looked up his driveway, slowly blinking when he found the front blinds pulled up and several pairs of eyes staring at them. He coughed and made his way up the driveway, barely able to reach the front door before it swung open and he was yanked inside by his friends. 

"AH FUCK-" he let out quite an undignified scream as his friends began to chatter around him.

“Okay spill.”

“Holy shit, who’s clothes are those?”

“Goodness he bit you the fuck up, didn’t he, I didn’t take him for that much of a biter-”

Hongjoong’s head spun as all of his friends began to chatter all at once. Eventually he raised his voice over the confusing babbel, making them all quiet down instantly. 

“Okay! Holy shit, one question at a time.” 

The group paused for a moment before Yeonjun cleared their throat. 

“When the hell did you start liking the puppy dude?” 

Hongjoong scratched the back of his neck. It wasn’t a complicated question. It had to have been in the last month or so.

But still…from those images…those…memories? It would make sense to say he’d liked him all along. 

Liked? Loved. He loved him. A lifetime’s worth of love.

Though Hongjoong was sure if he dropped suddenly he'd been in love with someone who, in the eyes of his best friends, he'd only met a month ago, he'd have a lot more chaos erupt in this foyer.

He still had to get to the bottom of what was happening.

The more he tried to rationalize those thoughts and fit them neatly in his mind under a certain label, the more he felt painful radio static crackle and pierce into his head. 

‘Not now. There’s too much missing.’

“I..um…I guess this past month or so? He’s really cool and I vibe with him well.” Hongjoong muttered, satisfied when the crackle in his mind subsided. It really did seem like he needed to wait before he could unravel more of…whatever this is. 

How frustrating. 

Chungha handed him a cup of white peach tea, gently nodding toward the living room. 

“Guys, you all like, swarmed him as soon as he opened the door, let him get inside and sit down before you start grilling him.” She lightly scolded them. Yeonjun, Felix, and Chan pouted ever so slightly while Changkyun gently put his hand on Hongjoong’s shoulder. 

“C’mon, you must be tired.” 

Hongjoong smiled and made his way into the living room, sitting down and taking a sip. A smile lit up his face and Chan looked at the marks all over his neck. 

“You didn’t get hurt, right? Everything was consensual?” His voice was even, though Hongjoong could tell by his body language he was in his ‘protective big brother’ mode. It brought a smile to his face as he nodded. 

“...Yeah. A little bit surprising but everything that happened was with consent. He was very sweet and careful about that.” 

Chan’s demeanor relaxed considerably and Felix let out an audible sigh from beside him. 

“Oh good, he’s not some tall ass, sex-hungry creep.” 

Hongjoong sent him an incredulous look as Chungha elbowed him. Yeonjun and Changkyun laughed at either side of him before the former stopped abruptly, grabbing Hongjoong’s hands and looking into his eyes. 

“Okay so. How was it?” 

Hongjoong stared.

“How…was…what?? Exactly?”

Yeonjun arched a brow. 

“His stroke game, Hongjoong.”

Hongjoong’s face ignited and he immediately swiped at Yeonjun’s head, letting out an indignant noise. 

“YOU CAN’T JUST ASK THAT.”

“I mean, I just did. Whether or not you feel comfortable disclosing is a different conversation.” They responded, yipping and rubbing their head when Chungha smacked them with the top of her house slipper. 

“Again, he just got in the house, stop interrogating him!” She scolded them before she looked at Hongjoong. 

“I’m just glad you’re okay. It came as a surprise, but you’re safe and happy and that’s all I could ever ask for. I meant what I said, though. If he hurts you, I’m going to break his dick. In half.” She smiled sweetly at the cold threat, all the others in the room shuddering visibly at the phantom pain of the threat. 

“It’s okay I’m actually…I need some…advice?” 

They all looked at him and he moved his gaze to the floor, fidgeting with his bracelet. He blinked, noticing his birthmark had gotten a bit darker. 

Huh. Had he gotten a bruise somewhere?

Anyway-

“I uh…we almost?? Had sex but I kind of..chickened out. Um..help?” Hongjoong liked to think he was pretty good at sorting his thoughts out, but he’d be lying if he said this entire situation hadn’t thrown him ass over head and left his thoughts in a spiral. 

All of his friends blinked owlishly at him before Chan stood. 

“This is weird, I’m gonna grab a water and I’ll be back.” He spoke quickly, ejecting himself from the conversation completely as Felix snorted beside him. Hongjoong’s cheeks, for the nth time that day, once again darkened in color. 

A fair response from Chan, to be honest. The older performer was basically his brother and he could imagine how weird and off-guard the question had taken him by. 

Changkyun rolled his eyes half-heartedly and hip checked Yeonjun out of the way from their position in front of Hongjoong on the floor. He sat with his legs pretzel style and sent him a kind, mature smile. 

“What exactly are you asking for help with? Initiation? Prep? Foreplay?” 

Hongjoong coughed and dodged the pillow Chungha had hurled over his head to hit Felix. 

“Stop laughing! He’s already flustered!” 

Hongjoong silently wished a hole would open up in the ground and swallow him. He’d had many conversations with his close friends and even his siblings that were downright embarrassing, but he’d never been the focus of any of them. 

Now that he thought about it…Hongjoong couldn’t recall a single time he had been romantically or sexually interested in anyone until now.

The revelation hit him like a sack of bricks, and his lips parted ever so slightly. 

“Holy shit.” 

Changkyun blinked before gently nudging his knee to bring him back down to earth. Hongjoong jolted ever so slightly before clearing his throat. 

“Sorry, erm….all of it? We came close last night but…he took the lead and guided me through all of it. I feel…a bit bad because I stopped right before we’d gone all the way and even though he was super nice and patient with me I-”

The laughter around him died and he felt a gentle hand comb through his mismatched hair. Yeonjun moved to sit beside him and continued petting him slowly, the teasing glint in their eyes completely gone. 

“Honey, do you want advice because you want to have sex with him or are you trying just because you feel bad it didn’t happen?” They inquired, searching Hongjoong’s eyes as he turned his head. 

While he did feel bad that he hadn’t done nearly as much for Yunho as he’d felt the taller man had done for him, Hongjoong couldn’t help but to roll those images through his head. 

Of a time before this. A time when they had laid together, entangled in each other, body and soul. Melded together so close it was hard to tell where one began and the other ended.

He didn’t want that feeling to stay in his dreams.

“I want it. I just don’t know what the hell I’m doing.” He admitted. Seemingly, his friends breathed a collective sigh of relief before Changkyun grabbed his attention. 

“Okay, so I’m gonna explain some things, it’s going to be traumatizing for all of us, and we’re gonna come out of this with some confidence.” 

A smile came to his face as his comment ripped a laugh from Hongjoong’s throat. The others soon followed suit as he rolled out of his position on the floor and stomped into the kitchen. 

“Christopher Bang Chan you get in here and help us with the communal suffering or so help me-”

The peels of laughter increased in volume at the faux shriek Chan let out when Changkyun came for him. Slowly, Hongjoong’s anxiety ebbed away. 

He wished Siyeon was here to help him with the rest of his close friends, but for now, he’d take the help wherever he could get it. 

-1pm-

-Namsan Mountain Park-

“Thank you for meeting with me. I hope I didn’t inconvenience you.” 

The sound of a can opening fills the small break in conversation before a small laugh followed it. 

“Hardly. It was only a matter of time before one of you asked me to talk to you. I’m sure you have a lot of questions.” 

Seonghwa looked at the tattooed hand that had stretched out to him before taking the melon-flavored carbonated drink offered to him. Across from him, sat the Ishihara patriarch himself, not at all uncomfortable by the sudden summon from the ex prince. 

That probably made things a lot easier. 

“Excuse my bluntness, but I want as many answers as possible.” Seonghwa continued, taking a small sip of the drink. His brows went up for a moment before he took a bigger one, drawing a laugh from the man across from him. 

“I’ll answer what I can. Do understand I won’t be able to answer some of them just yet.” 

Seonghwa’s lips pursed in disapproval for a moment before he sighed and looked him in the eyes. 

“Who are you?” 

“Apollo, god of the sun, amongst other things.” Miyavi shrugged a shoulder, as if that had been the simplest thing in the world. 

Seonghwa slow blinked, staring at him for a beat of silence before he took another thoughtful sip of his drink. 

“Please don’t think I don’t appreciate it, but how is it that the God of the Sun came to be the adoptive father of our Captain?” 

Miyavi tapped his chin ever so slightly before he smiled. 

“Your little pirate captain approached me centuries ago in Delphi. Something about him moved me, and I felt the urge to make his time there enjoyable. I wonder, do you all remember the hidden orchid you found? The wolf that led you deeper? That was me. I’m glad you enjoyed your time, by the way, I don’t let just anyone in there, you know.” he adjusted some of the rings on his fingers, letting the words sink and click into place in Seonghwa’s mind. Thankfully, it didn’t take long before he was continuing, his eyes never leaving the god’s face. 

“That’s not all of it, surely.” 

“Not at all. I suppose you can call her my…cousin? Of sorts? The daughters of Poseidon, Charybdis and Scylla were disturbed by you all, it seems. Something about a stolen object. I did my best that night, I truly did, but was stopped up in Olympus from intervening. An offense had taken place and the girls had, technically, every right to be enraged. Especially after the slaying of Charybdis.” 

Seonghwa’s expression soured. 

“Are you saying we’re at fault?” 

“The one who took the rod, mostly. But still. That’s beside the point now. I spent time trying to locate his soul, and it wasn’t easy. Siyeon had ended up being the catalyst piece here. She’s a witch and began worshiping the Sun. I heard her. Well, so did some others. Had to call in a few favors and almost got stabbed by Amaterasu, but I attuned myself to her worship because I saw her in an old prophecy. She led me right to Hongjoong, but unfortunately, time had already run out before I could make any significant moves into figuring out how to reverse the curse. I made a deal with my…step mother, I suppose I can call her, and was able to pin down where this latest Hongjoong had been reborn and Melody and I decided the best thing to do was to insert ourselves into his life to guide and protect him as best we can. This is…the only chance I have to assist you.” he looked away, and Seonghwa knew there was something else. 

Across from them, a bird faltered as it took flight.

“,,,,Your step mother…I assume you mean Hera?” he inquired.

Miyavi nodded, downing the rest of his own drink before he tossed the can into a bin a good distance from where they sat. 

“....doesn’t she hate you?”

“With a burning passion. Tried to kill me and my sister Artemis as soon as we were born.” 

Seonghwa had an ever growing pit in his stomach. Part of him wanted to stop asking questions, just leave it be, there’s no need or reason to probe any deeper, just leave it. Focus on Hongjoong focus on the pace they're working at, it's chaotic enough just LEAVE it-

“It’s not as easy as it should be anymore, is it?” 

Miyavi chuckled and looked at him out of the corner of his eye, a small glint in his eye confirming more than any words ever could. Seonghwa’s brows furrowed and he let his shoulders drop. 

“Don’t do that. No matter how bad it gets, don’t ever let yourself feel defeated before you’ve fought. You’ve searched high and low for him and now he’s in front of you. You have a literal god helping you. Well, several, if you count the Egyptian and Māori ones tagging along with your group. I would say the odds are in your favor. I’ll continue to help as much as I can.” Miyavi offered kindly, looking at Seonghwa like he did his own children. Seonghwa’s brows remained furrowed. 

“What am I supposed to do? This is far beyond what I can handle.”

“You used to be a tactician, right? You’re now the captain of the crew while Hongjoong remains unawake. You can think of something. Besides, you’re not alone. From what Siyeon reported, you all have learned and attempted Mnemosyne’s trials.” 

Seonghwa nodded, tapping his bottom lip before he blinked. 

Right. 

The Trials. 

“Siyeon told us your children have come close to completing the Trials before. How?” 

Miyavi hummed and leaned back in his seat, laughing. 

“Those three are probably just as determined as you all are to help their brother. I feel…a bit like a bad father for having my children grow up learning such violent things, but it’s for the best that they know how to fight and defend themselves if things go south.” 

“...so they’re not human.” 

“No, not at all. No one in the family is. Is that really much of a surprise?” 

Seonghwa thought back to the first time he’d encountered Yuta and the overwhelming killing intent behind his movements. 

How he nearly missed the knife against his throat and hadn’t seen or felt the man come in the room at all. 

Miyavi watched the look on his face before standing, putting his hands in his pockets. 

“We’re approaching territory that I cannot go into now. Ideally, I’d like you not to look at my children maliciously. They’re all doing their best too, seeing as mommy dearest upstairs drug them into this mess as a condition against me.” he began walking down a grassy path, not looking back. 

The rustle of clothes behind him assured him Seonghwa was following anyway. 

“....against you. That doesn’t sound like allies.”

Miyavi sent him a look. 

“They’re my children, First Mate Seonghwa.” 

“I’m just reading into what you said, Apollo, God of the Sun.” 

Miyavi ran a hand through his hair, shattered pieces of a prophecy not fully foretold flashing through his mind. 

Scales, broken chains, a full moon, bloodied feathers. 

“Let’s put it this way. Should you fail, a bit more is at stake than just Hongjoong’s reincarnation.” 

He heard Seonghwa’s footsteps slow behind him before they hastened once more, the tall ex pirate appearing right beside him. 

".....do I want to know what that means?"

Miyavi hummed, watching the clouds above them. 

"The end of the world. Probably."

".....I'm sorry, what?"

-🐺-

"Achoo."

"Ah, bless you, Sis."

Suzuka quietly thanked Hongjoong as she walked over, touching his forehead. 

"....feeling better?"

Hongjoong laughed and scratched his head. When his siblings had returned, they were met with the sound of flustered squabbling and banter. 

The eldest Ishihara sibling watched her youngest brother sit with his face in his hands, cheeks bright red as his shoulders shook with laughter as Yeonjun and Chan yelled above his head.

"I'M SAYING HE NEEDS A POLE, CHRIS."

"HE'S LOSING HIS VIRGINITY, NOT LEARNING TO BE A POLE DANCER, YEONJUN. HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO POLE DANCE"

"WE CAN TAKE LESSONS."

"We? Are you suddenly French?! Who is we?!"

Changkyun held his sides, wiping away a tear as he looked at the two. 

"I'm not driving anyone to the hospital, by the way." He added playfully as the two continued their outlandish discourse. 

"HE NEEDS TO KNOW HOW TO THROW HIS ASS BACK, CHRIS. HE DOESN'T HAVE MUCH TO WORK WITH."

"I DON'T NEED THESE VISUALS, YEONJUN. I REALLY DON'T NEED THE VISUALS OF ANY OF YOU ON A POLE!"

".....Just for that, I'm buying a pole and I'm gonna learn a routine for your birthday and you have to support me unless you suck eggs."

"I hope you bust your ass, I truly do."

Yeonjun let out a scandalized gasp. 

"Excuuuuuse you?!"

Yuta slow blinked at them, hands in his pockets while Moa shrugged and set down the bags of takeout food they'd brought home with them. 

The scent of food made the bickering come to an abrupt and comical end, both Chan and Yeonjun stopped mid-playful shouting match once the aroma wafted past them. 

Suzuka’s lips quirked up as they promptly gravitated towards the table, peeking into the boxes while Chungha grabbed plates. 

"Oh good, you got something to shut these two loveable idiots up." She let out an exaggerated sigh of relief. Both of them huffed indignantly while Felix made his way into the kitchen first, grateful for the break in the bickering around him. 

Hongjoong joined him, looking out of the window and smiling as he noticed a few snowflakes falling from the sky. Felix looked at him out of the corner of his eye, gently touching his shoulder. 

"I'm not really good at this compared to them, but whatever you do, make sure you do it safely. Above all else, you come first. Uh. Emotionally. You're coming emotionally. First. Um. That was phrased really weirdly, ew-" he shuddered and Hongjoong snorted, covering his mouth to stifle the rest of his laughter as he looked at Felix with an understanding twinkle in his eyes.

"I got you. I feel a bit better after talking to everyone, don't worry." He smiled. Felix relaxed and moved to go to sit at the table. 

Hongjoong looked out of the window, noticing a lone blue bird fly by before he turned to get dinner.

-❄️-

"You look pale, Hwa."

Seonghwa’s head snapped up, the ink from his pen bleeding as he held it in place on the paper in front of him. He looked at the ruined formation he had been drawing out before sighing, lifting his gaze up to meet Wooyoung’s. 

"A-are you okay? You look really intense." He muttered. Seonghwa ran his hand through his hair, the words escaping him. 

It took him much longer than Wooyoung had ever seen him take to finally find the words, a frustrated sigh leaving his lips first. 

"I just…I want everyone to be okay." It wasn't the most elegant statement, but the tired tone in his voice made Wooyoung’s heart sink into his shoes. 

"I'm sorry." He muttered softly. 

Seonghwa shook his head, putting the pen down as he stood. 

"It's my fault. I'll figure something out. I have to." He moved past Wooyoung, kissing the top of his head and sending him a small smile. 

"I love you."

Wooyoung stared back, worried.

"I love you too…" 

Seonghwa kissed him once before he turned and left him alone in the room to make tea. 

Wooyoung looked down at the crumpled pieces of paper littering the floor for a while, turning and leaving quietly.

-🐉-

Drip…drip….drip…

Joong stared as the dragon before him rumbled, blood dribbling from his massive head. 

He'd done it. It was small, nearly inconsequential, but he had finally done it. 

There was a crack.

The beast's chest rose and fell harshly as he rested. The blood was from a spot on the center of his forehead where he'd begun bashing it against the crystal in a frenzy out of nowhere. 

Joong had been through a lot of shit in his life. He'd had motorcyclists hold him up, felt the chill of blades against his throat and been followed home by unhappy riders with big egos who didn't appreciate his brand of snark.

Never once in his life did he feel as terrified as he did right now. 

He wanted to run. Something told him he didn't want to know where this was going. He didn't know when this began and wanted to be nowhere near it when it ended. 

But on another hand, he was frozen in place. 

It was him. Inside that crystal was undoubtedly him. He wasn't sure if this was some kind of hell he was in. Every depiction he'd heard about purgatory was vastly different than this. Joong couldn't even tell if he was in hell.

Drip…drip…

The dragon shifted, opening its eyes once more. His lip curled up as he looked at the crystal. 

"You can't keep me out forever. This is all YOUR fault. All you had to do was be a good little pawn and obey me. But no. Instead, you defy me and get BOTH of us trapped in this hell. When I free myself, there will be hell to pay."

He shook his head, droplets of shimmering blood landing on the crystal as he curled up, seemingly tired out. Joong kept deathly still, heart thundering in his chest as he felt his bangs shift with every exhale of the resting dragon. 

Idly, he wondered where the other beast had slinked off to and what the full story behind the three of them was. 

He looked up once more, waiting until the dragon was asleep-or at least he hoped to whatever higher power would listen that he was-before he slowly crawled out of the silk of his tail for the first time. He kept his steps quiet as he stood in front of the crystal, gently extending a hand and placing it over the outside. 

He definitely was some kind of sailor, given his tattered attire. Joong scanned as much as he could, not liking the idea of him being out in the open in front of the mad dragon behind him for too long. 

His eyes wandered downwards and he cringed at the wounds littered all over the man's arms, torso, and legs. 

They were deep, like the fangs of a rabid beast. 

All at once, he felt like something had slammed into his temple, images flooding his mind.

"Protect our crew….find me later."

Joong held his head, nearly screaming at the splitting feeling that coursed through him 

"I love you all….so much."

He snapped his head up, looking up at the face of his double in the crystal. 

Had his eyes always been cracked open like that?

Joong panted, staring at the motionless man, more questions emerging in his head. Behind him, the dragon shifted and he quickly made his way back into his hiding place, heart thundering once more. 

From within the crystal, The Captain watched him rush out of his line of sight.

'I'm…so tired of being alone.'

-Monday, March 25th, 11am-

-227 Days Remain-

"Are your friends…okay today?" Yunho inquired, looking down at Hongjoong in amusement. The pianist looked around his frame, brow twitching slightly at the sight of his friends not so subtly playing hooky in lieu of watching over them.

"What the hell do they expect us to do? Fuck in an elevator or something?" Hongjoong hissed, tapping his foot. Yunho blinked owlishly before tapping his cheek.

"I feel like that's a really familiar concept…I'm keeping condoms on me so we can try it if you want." 

Hongjoong nearly tripped as he whirled his head around to look at him.

"Yunho?!"

"What? I'll happily receive, if you're nervous." 

Hongjoong did a double take, staring at the unbothered doctor as he walked beside him. He lowered his voice to a whisper. 

"You're not…at all flustered by any of this?"

Yunho hummed, pausing and rubbing his chin for a moment. 

"Mm…no, not really. I never have been. But that's just me." Yunho placed a hand over Hongjoong’s head, smiling softly. 

"Really, it's fine if you're nervous or unsure. We don't have to do anything. I'm just happy you're here and you remember Geb and I." He spoke honestly, placing a hand in front of Hongjoong’s chest and summoning a rose so the others couldn't see. It had no thorns and Yunho carefully tucked it behind his ear. 

Hongjoong smiled and smiled as they ducked into the library. 

Maybe with the continued reassurance, he could finally calm his chaotic thoughts and focus on preparing himself. 

Except. That isn't at all what happened. 

In fact, a different chain of thoughts weasel their way into his brain as he reads the same paragraph over and over again for the third time.

Yunho, lips curled up in that kind way, rose pink dusting his cheeks as his thighs fell open like a flower blooming. 

The arch of his back, the strain of the sheets below his palm as he tugged at them, the groans and breathless keens of Hongjoong’s name. 

"Right there, you know how we like it, don't you~? Keep moving your hips just-ngh!-just like that. Hongjoong~ Hongjoong!"

"Hongjoong?"

The musician startled, looking up at Yunho with wide eyes. The doctor blinked at him before his eyes travel down. 

The evidence of Hongjoong’s wandering thoughts is obvious. 

Hongjoong feels shame and embarrassment wash over him, but Yunho only let out a gentle exhale, a soft fruit-scented sigh as he leaned over and pressed his lips to Hongjoong’s. 

It wasn't demanding or frantic, just a slow connection that somehow made him feel grounded once again. Yunho didn't escalate it further, cautious of their setting as he peppered Hongjoong’s lips in kisses. 

"I can't properly articulate how damn good it feels to know you can't get us out of your mind."

Hongjoong flushed. 

Us.

His brain was especially traitorous today. Imagining rough calloused hands running down his spine, pressing down, the pop and crack of his back nearly making him moan more than the cock nestled deep inside of him, a voice speaking in his ear in a language he didn't know but it sent goosebumps down his spine, nonetheless. 

"Geb," Hongjoong muttered under his breath. Another chuckle slipped from Yunho’s lips, though it was different, deeper. 

Hongjoong shuddered.

"Do not strain yourself. We're not going anywhere."

Hongjoong cleared his throat, beet red, and looked at Geb’s ice blue eye, the other one remaining Yunho’s usual kind brown color. 

That's right. They shared. They were exceptional at it. 

Compared to…? 

Were there any others Hongjoong knew about that had…well, a whole separate entity living inside of them?

Warm hands cupped his cheek and drew his focus in once more. 

"How about you come home with us again? Let's try something a bit different tonight." Yunho hummed, smiling softly as he leaned in for a kiss. Hongjoong’s eyes nearly closed fully before Yunho’s lips brushed past his cheek as he leaned into his ear.

"I'll be using my powers a bit tonight. I hope that's alright." He whispered before pulling away. Hongjoong nearly chased after his lips before he caught himself, clearing his throat. 

Yunho smiled, satisfied, and leaned away from him, going back to the book in front of him. 

Neither of them were really reading a damn thing on those pages. 

🎕┈┈┈┈

When Hongjoong stepped into Yunho’s home after they’d gotten finished studying, he was met with the smell of simmering meat. 

He instinctively turned towards the kitchen, hearing sizzling. 

It was…so familiar, this scent. 

Yunho put his hand at the small of his back and smiled down at him. 

“Do you want to go see what Mingi and Yeosang are cooking, or do you want to go straight upstairs?” He inquired. Hongjoong glanced again before he rubbed his neck. 

“Is it okay? I don’t want to intrude.” He admitted. Yunho nearly told him ‘of course you can’ without hesitation, but he caught himself. He’d seen the occasional concerned glances. 

Hongjoong definitely knew Mingi was cautious around him. 

Respecting that, Yunho told him to wait, striding into the kitchen and beaming at the ex prince and boatswain that darted around each other. Yeosang’s tails were out on full display, occasionally brushing along the exposed skin of Mingi’s abdomen or back as the shirtless man measured spices. 

That being said, the kitsune currently had a one-track-mind, as evidenced by the shriek that he let out when he turned and saw Yunho looming just a few feet from him. 

Mingi tensed in an instant, a white knuckled grip on a knife and his eyes flashing purple before he paused, blinking at Yunho in realization as Yeosang held his chest. 

“Oh my god, Yunho what the fu-”

“Are you okay?!” Hongjoong rushed in after the scream, blinking in surprise when his eyes landed on Yeosang. 

All four men stared at each other like deer in headlights. Yeosang stood slowly, unable to hide the fact his massive, silken tails had been visible to the pianist. 

He still dispelled them, though.

“Uh…hi?” He sheepishly greeted, hoping Hongjoong wouldn’t have another painful headache because of him.  

Hongjoong slow blinked, looking from him, to Mingi, and finally, Yunho. 

“....is everyone alright?” He questioned slowly. Yeosang nodded, wondering if he was going to ask. Hongjoong’s shoulders relaxed, and he looked towards Yeosang once more. 

“....they were really pretty.” He complimented. Yeosang blushed and opened his mouth to ask him if he remembered anything, but he stopped short, watching as Hongjoong went rigid. 

“Cheese smells food! Cheese would like to taste test the food now!”

Anything Yeosang had to say was gone the moment Cheese came bounding into the room, barking excitedly. Hongjoong’s eyes went wide as Cheese jumped up, putting his paws on Mingi’s chest. 

“Cheese has been a very good Cheese! Cheese would now like some of your quality spiced meats now!” 

To Hongjoong, all he could hear was barking. 

Barking and the ocean. 

-It’s so loud. The splashing. 

He can almost feel it, fangs biting into him. 

When he inhales water fills his lungs-

Yunho took his hand and sent an apologetic look to Yeosang and Mingi, tugging Hongjoong away before he could have a panic attack. He could feel the pianist’s hand getting clammy in his own. 

“Hongjoong, look at me, hey.” 

Yunho turned, gently cupping his forearms. Hongjoong looked up at him, mouth opening, but nothing came out. It broke the doctor’s heart, but he didn’t show it, instead pressing a kiss to his forehead. 

“Breathe with me. Take your time.” 

He instructed him gently, and once Hongjoong had gathered his bearings, he realized he was seated in Yunho’s room, his head nestled in the crook of the doctor’s neck. 

“I…I’m okay. Sorry.” He muttered. Yunho kissed his head and pulled back, smiling softly at him. 

“It’s alright. How about we take it easy tonight? I’ll check up on dinner in a bit and maybe we watch a movie?”

Hongjoong frowned. It was clearly obvious Yunho intended to try initiating something intimate when he invited him over after the library and Hongjoong felt like once again, he’d let the taller man down. 

“I-..we can still…”He hated how clammy he felt, frustrated with himself over his phobia and ‘ruining’ his and Yunho’s moment for the second time. Yunho looked at his expression and shook his head. 

“I’m not here to force or pressure you, Hongjoong. Ever. I know you’re afraid of dogs and I should have checked to see where Cheese was before we came in.” Yunho quietly took responsibility, but Hongjoong’s brow only furrowed deeper. 

“He shouldn’t be locked up in a room in his own house because I’m over.” He muttered, eyes fixed on his own hands. 

He felt the beginnings of a headache coming on, a split-like feeling right in the center of his forehead, but he grit his teeth, anger spiking. 

He was…unreasonably angry, and spot on his chest, out of sight, shimmered for a moment.

What the hell does he have to be so afraid of?

Yunho startled when Hongjoong stood abruptly, jaw set. He cast him a worried look and Hongjoong marched out of the room, heading back downstairs with Yunho hot on his heels. 

“Hongjoong? Cap-Uh-wait!” Yunho stumbled, missing a step as Hongjoong stormed back into the kitchen, Mingi looked up, a spoon in hand and a curious look on his face as Hongjoong looked about. 

“....you good?” He inquired, arching a brow. Hongjoong glanced around the room once more before pursing his lips. His gaze drifted over to the canine on the floor and Cheese perked. 

“Oh, Cheese did not know Captain would come back, Cheese will leave-oh there is a hand in Cheese’s face.” 

Cheese blinked and sniffed as Hongjoong put a shaky hand before Cheese’s nose. Yunho finally caught up, blinking in surprise before he put his hand at the small of Hongjong’s back. 

“Cheese, wanna make a friend? Can you be nice and give kisses?” Yunho inquired. Cheese perked and sat up on his haunches, sniffing Hongjoong’s hand more. 

“Of course Cheese can be nice! Cheese is a valuable member of the crew-oh. Oh! The Captain smells of many souls. This confuses Cheese.” Cheese gently licked his hand, pressing his head into Hongjoong’s palm shortly after. Mingi and Yunho’s eyebrows rose as Hongjoong shakily cooed to the dog. 

“G-good boy…such a handsome boy…” Hongjoong stuttered, slowly relaxing thanks to Cheese’s surprising calmness. 

Yeosang came back into the kitchen, blinking in surprise at the return of the pianist. He looked at Yunho and Mingi, tilting his head at them both and the perplexed looks on their faces. 

“Definately….He smells of blood…lotus…some kind of leather…fire…? And the ocean. He smells a lot like the ocean. Oh, and amber. Its an interesting combination for Cheese. Cheese smells at least three…nnn..no, four souls.” 

All of them stared at the Jindo in shock as he gruffawed and keened, lifting his head to accept scratches from Hongjoong. The young man had slowly relaxed, smiling and pressing his head together with the dog’s once Cheese gave him a lick to the cheek. 

“Thank you…sorry, I just…I hate feeling so afraid. There’s no need to be. Not of this little guy, right Cheese?” Hongjoong beamed, smiling as Cheese let out a small, mini howl in delight and wagged his tail. 

“No problem…are you feeling alright?” Yeosang inquired, looking down at Hongjoong. He hadn’t the slightest clue on where to begin when it came to unpacking what the dog had told them, but he’d save that brain crunch for later, instead wanting to focus on the matter at hand. 

“I feel…a lot better than I did before. I really appreciate you all being so patient with me in these moments of weakness.” 

The three of them stared at him. Such a simple phrase, but they’d heard it before, knew it well. 

When their Captain thrashed in his sleep, when he reached blindly and cried for his fallen mother. When the hooks of nightmarish slumber pushed down on his lungs and made it hard to breathe, they’d be there. He always said the same thing, wiping away his tears in frustration. 

“Ah…what kind of Capt’n am I? Making my crew worry about me like that. I’m sorry, it was a moment of weakness. Thank you for pullin’ me out of it.” 

Mingi looked away, his fingers tapping against the counter in front of him while Yunho gently put his arm around him, pulling Hongjoong close to him and kissing his head. Yeosang gently came closer and reached, taking Hongjoong’s hands. He brought them to his lips, kissing his knuckles softly. 

“You can lean on us, Hongjoong. We all could use an attitude adjustment, but I promise, we’re a lot more reliable than we look.” Yeosang spoke against the skin of his hands. Slowly, he lifted his gaze up to Hongjoong’s, taking in the flustered flush that crept up the man’s neck. He stared at him, lips parted in surprise. 

“I- Oh, Thank you, Yeosang.”

Yeosang let his hands go and smiled, motioning for the two to leave the kitchen. 

“Now shoo. Dinner won’t be done for a while. Find something more interesting to occupy your time with.” He urged. 

Yunho mouthed a ‘thank you’ over Hongjoong’s head, leaning to kiss Mingi’s cheek and Yeosang’s birthmark before he picked the pianist up. 

“C’mon, you nearly gave me a heart attack running out so suddenly.” He lightly scolded, taking Hongjoong back upstairs. 

Hongjoong flushed, rubbing his neck in embarrassment, but Yunho simply pulled him in for a kiss, pressing their heads together. 

“Do you want to continue?” 

“Yes.” 

“Do you want to continue because you want to?”

“Yes.”

Hongjoong was frustrated with everyone treating him like he’d break, but he understood well the position he was in. As much as he got flustered and even embarrassed by the coddling, at least he knew both his friends and his boyfriend cared about his comfort. 

Yunho smiled and stole another kiss, cupping both of Hongjoong’s cheeks and teasing his piercing with his own tongue, lightly tugging at the ball. Hongjoong whimpered into his lips, pressing himself against him, his hips twitching as he felt himself grow harder in his loose-fitting pants. 

When Yunho broke the kiss, there was a completely different look in his eyes, one that made Hongjoong shudder in need as the taller man took a step back, pulling his shirt over his head. He tossed it aside and worked on the button of his jeans, smiling at Hongjoong as he followed his every move with his eyes. 

“Have a seat there,” He pointed to the rolling chair he had near a desk adorned with plants and notes. Hongjoong sat himself down, his eyes locking onto the scar on Yunho’s abdomen before he bit his lip lightly, noticing Yunho tugging the waistband of his pants down, his cock springing out moments later. 

Hongjoong was proud of himself for not letting out any of the noises of want that so desperately wanted to slip free from his mouth. 

He was not, however, able to keep back the gasp of surprise when Yunho wrapped a vine around the chair and pulled him in closer, until he was at the end of the bed staring doe eyed as the doctor situated himself in the middle. 

“What…what exactly are we doing, aga-...”Hongjoong trailed off, eyes drifting between Yunho’s legs as the doctor spread them apart, fully on display in front of him. Everything he had in mind died in his throat as he eyed Yunho with a want that made his fingers twitch. 

“I want you to watch me, watch us, if that’s alright?” He instructed, running a hand down his torso before wrapping it around his cock. Hongjoong didn’t brave trying to speak again, worried he’d sound like a fool as he followed every stroke and upward curve of Yunho’s hand. 

“Geb, it’s okay. I don’t think he minds.” Yunho moaned, smiling as he felt the fractured god take over part of his body, smooth vines wrapping around his legs, pulling them wider apart so he couldn’t close them and hide anything from the view of their Captain. 

“Hongjoong, I think you’ll delight in knowing we’ve gotten quite sensitive. Look here,” Geb rumbled, thin vines curling around and rolling Yunho’s nipples until they hardened into buds. Yunho shuddered and moaned, bucking into his own hand. 

“I wonder if you recall how needy we can get when it comes to this. It’s been many moons and we’ve even perfected the right mix for our nectar. Isn’t that right, Yunho? Should we show him?” 

Yunho whimpered, nearly closing his eyes in pleasure. Both of them turned ice blue and Geb tutted as he opened them back fully. 

“Come, now, Yunho. Don’t look away from him.” Geb scolded.  Yunho groaned and lifted his hips, clenching on nothing at the mere thought of what was to come. 

Hongjoong pushed his own pants down past his thigh, laughing in disbelief as he watched a vine thicker and smoother than the one teasing Yunho’s nipples appeared, dribbling something translucent and sweet-smelling over Yunho’s asshole. 

“How often do you play with yourself like this, Yunho? If you two have perfected it, how many nights did it take?” He asked without thinking, smiling at the way Yunho’s hips twitched. 

“I-nn-I’ve lost count…I just let Geb guide and feel around for what’s best-ah!” He choked on his own voice as he bucked, feeling his own vine push into him, coated in the aphrodisiac-like nectar. 

Hongjoong bit his lip, grabbing his own cock and pumping in time with Yunho’s as Geb chuckled and growled into the room. 

“My, it’s been too long. We’ve been neglecting ourselves. He’s tight, Hongjoong. Practically sucking in our vines and it’s still not enough, is it?” He let out a faux sympathetic sigh, more vines wrapping around Yunho’s thick thighs, kneading and gripping them as he fucked himself. The god wasn’t sure if the doctor even knew he’d given up control of their vines a few minutes ago, letting him control his (well, technically their) pleasure. 

Hongjoong kicked his pants off and away from himself, moaning as he watched Yunho arch and stroke himself faster, softly moaning Hongjoong’s name. 

The bed dipped, and the two-toned man joined him, crawling up on his hands and knees and licking up Yunho’s balls, past the length of his cock, over his fingers, before kissing the head of his weeping cock. 

“H-Hongjoong-”

“Don’t stop. You wanted to show me, right?” He whispered, putting his head on Yunho’s thigh, his breath fanning over Yunho’s cock and his stuffed hole. 

Yunho sucked his lip in and trembled, making the vine thicker inside of himself, mirroring the size he knew his smaller lover was. He moaned and arched his back, eyes nearly rolling back as he felt thick, warm nectar electrify his very being. 

“That’s it, pretty boy. I’m here. Show me up close how beautiful you look when you cum.” Hongjoong sighed lovingly, reaching to rub around Yunho’s stuffed rim, smiling when he jolted upwards. 

“Fuck! Ngh-!”

Hongjoong was honestly curious, and clearly was thinking with the head between his legs instead of the one between his shoulders as he leaned down and ran his tongue over both the vine as it pulled out, and the rim of Yunho’s hole, catching some of the nectar on his tongue. 

Yunho’s thighs flexed, and had it not have been for the vines and Geb’s quiet monitoring of their play, he might have snapped them shut. His body trembled, a mixture of several languages spilling from his lips as he chased his orgasm, eyes blown wide with lust as he watched Hongjoong. 

He found his mouth running far faster than his brain could catch up with. 

“Hongjoong, please-” He whimpered, eyes rolling as he felt his own vine push against his prostate. Hongjoong looked up at his face, tilting his head. 

“What is it, baby? What’s wrong?” 

Yunho didn’t have an ounce of embarrassment in his body, looking at him with his lips swollen from self biting, panting like he’d ran a marathon, reaching to run a hand through Hongjoong’s hair. 

“I want…mmmnn…I want you…please? I’ll even wait for you I just- please-” He groaned, his hand speeding up on his cock before he stopped abruptly, stilling the vine in his ass and ruining his orgasm. Hongjoong bit his lip and sat up, watching as veins throbbed on Yunho’s cock, thighs, hands, neck, and temple, straining as he tried to force himself down from his ruined ecstasy. 

“Where’s the condoms you bought?” Hongjoong whispered. Excitement and a flicker of anxiety ran through him, but he found the former beating out the latter as Yunho shakily sent a vine to grab one of the two boxes he’d bought yesterday. Hongjoong took it, tearing the package and rolling it down his cock. 

He crawled up until they could press their foreheads together, his palms splayed out on the bed sheets at either side of Yunho’s ribs. They held each other’s gaze, and Yunho simply smiled, guiding Hongjoong’s cock down to his hole after sliding the messy vine out of himself. 

Hongjoong looked down between them, slowly pressing his hips down and gasping softly as he felt Yunho’s tight and slick walls grip him. 

Both men groaned into the plant-filled room. Yunho gripped his cock tight, forcing down another orgasm as he looked at where they were joined, a dazed and joyful curl of his lips making Hongjoong growl above him. 

“Y-Yunho, don’t clench so tight, baby. I can b-barely move-” Hongjoong moaned, pressing biting kisses down Yunho’s neck. The doctor groaned and let his head roll to the side, his cock making a mess of his abs. 

“I…mmm I can’t help it, you don’t have to go slow.” He urged, trying to rock his hips. Hongjoong opened his mouth to tell him he didn’t want to hurt him, but Yunho leaned into his ear, running his hand through his hair. 

“I like the stretch. Go faster.” He purred, moaning in delight when Hongjoong kissed him with fervor, working up a steady pace. Yunho sucked on his tongue and moaned in approval, stroking himself at an off-beat tempo.

Hongjoong was hyperaware of every sound once more.

Every slap of their hips together, every slick sound of Yunho’s cock in his hand, every filthy smack of their lips in their kiss, all of it made Hongjoong’s body feel like sparks were trailing through his veins. 

“That’s it~ Mmn, you’re so eager, I think you remember our body well, Hongjoong. You’re making such a…mmm…delightful expression, does it feel that good?” Geb moaned, the triangle covering Yunho’s eye once more as they both looked up at Hongjoong. 

The pianist sucked in a breath and rolled his hips down and to the left, smiling as his memory served right, listening as both of them let out a swear of surprise. His lips quirked as he slowed his hips down immediately afterwards. Yunho looked at him in surprise, opening his mouth, but Hongjoong cut him off.

“I want to try the vine, too. At the same time.”  

Even the god was caught off guard, but they recovered quickly, with a vine dribbling sweet nectar between the musician’s cheeks. 

Yunho smiled and reached around his frame, holding his cheeks open as Hongjoong resumed his thrusts. Hongjoong sighed against Yunho’s skin as he felt the tip of it press into his hole. 

“Nice and slow, Joongie.” 

Hongjoong’s hips stuttered for only a moment as the slick tip pushed into him, a groan of surprise spilling from his lips. It certainly was bigger than Yunho’s fingers, but not enough to knock the wind out of him, and soon he found his rhythm again, grinding into Yunho at a deep, slow pace. 

“Right there, right there yes nngh!” Yunho arched, nearly covering his mouth at the shaky gasp that spilled from his lips, catching himself off guard. Hongjoong noticed and grit his teeth, sweat rolling down his brow as he took his hand and pulled it away, lacing their fingers together and staring down into his eyes. 

Yunho looked up, holding his gaze as he gradually thickened and curved the vine inside of Hongjoong, smiling as Hongjoong let out his own cry of delight, feeling it rub right against his prostate. 

Hongjoong looked down, and like before, felt that phantom feeling of rocking on a boat as he rolled his hips downwards, his bangs sticking to his forehead. 

Yunho…felt as good as he’d always did. 

He always stared at him with those big brown eyes, deep with love and eager for more. 

Always…

“I love you.” Hongjoong panted, grabbing handfuls of the sheets as he looked down at Yunho. The doctor’s lips parted in surprise and he opened his mouth to respond, but Hongjoong kissed him feverishly, swallowing his moans as he sped up, reaching between them to stroke Yunho. The doctor’s hand had halted in surprise, but now it wrapped around the bars of the bed above his head as he arched his back, pretty notes falling past his lips as he looked up at Hongjoong. 

“C’mon, cum with me baby, I’m so close, please I need it I was good, I was good, please-” He slipped up, his mind melting as he sped up the vine in Hongjoong, wanting him to join him in the climbing ecstasy. 

Hongjoong’s eyes widened before he smiled, leaning into his ear. 

“You’re so good, Yunho. You’re so good for me, for us.” He cooed, biting the shell of his ear when he heard Yunho’s breath hitch. He stroked him faster, surprised at himself and the strong need to make the doctor fall apart first. 

“You and Geb are so good. Is this what I missed? Hm? You look beautiful like this. I-I don’t think I can hold back, baby. Hold me, go faster, we’re gonna cum together.” He groaned, feeling his hips ache in a way he was familiar with from performing, but with a blanket of pleasure running up and down his spine as the nectar ran down his rim and his balls. 

“Thank you, thank you, I love you, right there-AH!”

Yunho arched his back and forced himself to keep his eyes open, biting his lip as Hongjoong’s expression matched his. Stars dotted his vision and he clenched tight, his body taught as he finally came with a loud cry, thick splurts making a mess of his and Hongjoong’s abs. Hongjoong smiled and kissed him, rocking back and forth desperately. 

Between the tightness of Yunho’s trembling body and the dizzying pleasure of the vine in his ass, Hongjoong didn’t stand a chance, hugging Yunho and moaning into the heated skin of his neck as he came inside of the condom. 

“Y-Yunho-”

He shuddered, staying in his arms and holding him as both of them tried to force air back into their lungs. The vine retreated, and Hongjoong flushed, feeling thick pearls of nectar roll out. Did he need that much lubrication? Probably not, but it gave him a hungry feeling for the real thing that made his heart skip. 

Good thing both of them were already blushing from head to toe. 

Yunho groaned, muscles sore as he wrapped his arms around Hongjoong, sending him a thousand watt smile. 

“You did…phenomenally. I hope I feel it for days.” He mused, closing his eyes and letting his head thump against the pillow, a blissed smile on his face. Hongjoong blushed and looked down between them. 

“Yunho, we should clean up. We’re covered in sweat, cum, and nectar.”

“Mmm. Gimme a moment. I’m basking.”

Hongjoong sent him a flat look before he playfully rolled his eyes, putting his head on Yunho’s chest. 

He supposed it wasn’t too bad to rest for a bit more.

Just a little.

̶̶̶̶  «̶ ̶̶̶ ̶ «̶ ̶̶̶ 　Meanwhile, Downstairs　 ̶ ̶ ̶»̶ ̶̶̶ ̶ »̶ ̶̶̶  

Once they were out of earshot, Yeosang sighed softly, shoulders slumping. Mingi looked at him out of the corner of his eye before looking down at Cheese. 

“You said you smelled four souls inside of him?” 

Cheese looked up and nodded, letting out a big yawn before sprawling onto the cool tile of the kitchen floor. 

“One is his. The scents Cheese told you about are the ones Cheese smelled in them. Amber-Cheese thinks that is his soul, it is the strongest smelling. Then bloody lotus, fire and leather, and the ocean. The ocean scent is the faintest. Like it’s fading.” 

Both of their eyes widened and Mingi clenched his fists so hard, he had crescents in his palms. 

“Captain…are you…are you still in there?” He whispered without thinking. Yeosang tapped his lip and paced the room, eyes fixed on the tiles as he tried to process the gravity of their findings. 

He shook his head, ruffling his hair, and turned to Mingi instead, walking over to gently tuck himself in the taller immortal's arms.

"Are you okay, Mingi?"

Mingi wrapped his arms around him, conflict swirling in his mind. 

"I…I don't know."

Yeosang gave him a squeeze and looked into his eyes. 

"It's okay not to know right now. We can navigate through this together. It's confusing as all hell. But, what matters to me right now," he gently kissed Mingi and leaned back so he could stare into his eyes. 

"Is that all of my loves are full and taken care of. Do you want dessert made? I can start." He offered, rubbing Mingi’s cheeks. Mingi looked at him for a long time before putting his hands over Yeosang’s. 

"Would…would you still love me if I wasn't the same me you've always known?"

Yeosang pressed his lips together before he exhaled softly.

"I would."

"How do you know?"

"The you in front of me isn't the you from centuries ago. The me in front of you isn't the me from centuries ago. None of us have escaped the touch of pain and time. Just because we do not deteriorate or change physically doesn't mean we haven't changed emotionally and mentally." Yeosang closed his eyes and hummed. 

"It's…been hard and there's an awful rift between us that hurts so much…but I still love you. I still love everyone. Mingi," he pulled the taller man into a hug.

"If…if you don't still love me…or us…that's within your right. I'm not going to force you. I just…I'll do everything in my power to help you and everyone smile again. I can do that."

Mingi felt his heart clench in pain, hugging him tight. 

"I do love you!” He spoke hurriedly, worried he’d offended the ex prince by his venting. Yeosang didn’t say a word, gently petting his hair and smiling softly, waiting for him to continue after he gave him a small, encouraging nod. Mingi worried his lip between his teeth. 

“I…I want things to go back to before. I want everyone back. I'm so tired." He whispered, his eyes cast at the ground. 

Yeosang rubbed his back, gently kissing his cheek. He felt his heart squeeze. 

He was also to blame for this, he knew inaction and fear spoke just as loud as action and hostility. 

His upbringing taught him better than to be a bystander, and still he let the others and Mingi down. 

"I'm…sorry I haven't done enough to protect you. Is…is there anything I can do? Or…is it too late? It's just us, you can be honest with me." Yeosang felt his own tears well up as he looked at Mingi. The taller man sucked in a breath and looked at him for a long time. 

"I…I have a lot I need to get off my chest…right now, I need someone to talk to. If…if it's alright?" He whispered. Yeosang smiled and kissed his knuckles. 

"I'll turn the fire off and we can take a walk so no one interrupts. Is that alright? We can bring Cheese." He offered. Mingi looked at him and then the dog and nodded once. 

"Thank you, Yeosang. I'm sorry."

"No need to be sorry, Mingi. Here, I'll grab your coat."

Mingi cast a look at the kitchen before he took a breath and looked down at Cheese, smiling as the dog nudged his thigh. 

“Cheese does not know what happened, but Cheese loves his family and will provide excellent emotional support!” 

Mingi exhaled, laughing wetly before he heard Yeosang approach with his coat, handing it to him with a worried look settled in his brow. 

“Shall we go, Mingi?” He inquired. Mingi nodded, grabbing Cheese’s leash and grabbing Yeosang’s hand within his own shaking one. 

“I’m coming. I’ll lead the way.”

┍━☽【❖】☾━┑

T a g l i s t

┕━☽【❖】☾━┙

@jacksons-goddess-gaia @kimnamshiks @atiny-dazzlinglight @angel0taiyo @gettin-a-lil-hanse @aeyla @eversionic @itsatinyworld @unatempesta-dipensieri @lonely10vely @yunhosblackgf @not-majestic-bluenicorn @moonmin-miya @snowstaytiny @delphinium3000 @just-a-starfruit @skmoonchild @allthestarsrcloser @sneaky-ash @im-what-iam @stayatinyfics @smallfrye @atinyteez @bangteezbaby @seomisaho @kirisimpma @chaos-ground-writing @daniblogs164 @daisyhwa @yunhofingers @stormiestories @billboard-singer @asyamonet22 @perfectlysane24 @drunk-on-hwa @shingisimp @xuxibelle @twistedsiren @heesuncore @dreamyinception-world @justatiredhuman @serialee @babyhailey819 @eribear23 @spooo00oky @shymexican @stardragongalaxy @horizonmoonfics

[canonicallyobserving911]

Several Sentences Sunday

Fanonwriter2023 on AO3

Where CANON and FANON collide!

This is an EPIC LOVE STORY!

Season 7 FANON Speculation: Buddie Multi-Chapter Fanfic - Hiatus Reading: “I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”

Chapter 19 will be posted soon; hopefully tomorrow.

Currently 18 chapters completed: 673.4K Words Rated: Mature

One chapter will be posted at a time.

[Previous snippet from WIP Wednesday]

____________

I'm excited to finish writing Chapter 19 because there are only 21 days left until Buck and Eddie get married.

For anyone who hasn't read Chapter 18, here's a brief overview: Since Eddie had to work a 4/10 from Monday through Thursday, Buck and Chris went to the Diaz family's Thanksgiving celebration without him. After Helena was rude to Buck the Sunday before the holiday, he was completely nervous about the way everyone else would treat him too and he hoped he wouldn't end up standing in the backyard alone but Eddie reassured him the Diazes would love him. Also, Eddie, Buck, Adriana, Antonio and Sophia had a meeting with Helena the day after Thanksgiving and the proverbial $hit hit the fan.

Buck and Eddie will tie the knot before Christmas 2023 but they are NOT getting married in the U.S. and they won't have a wedding ceremony until May 2024. They've revealed their relationship, their engagement and the fact that they're going to Europe to their found family during the 118's Thanksgiving dinner and now to Eddie's parents, his sisters, his abuela and Tia Pepa but they didn't tell them everything. No one knows they're getting married in three weeks, not even Chris because they haven't told him yet.

Have they revealed their relationship, engagement and European vacation to everyone or is there someone else who'll find out in Chapter 19? 👀

___________

Here's another snippet from Chapter 19 of Buck and Eddie being romantically fluffy while they're lying in bed.

___________

Eddie says, “You know I’m right here by your side and I’ll support whatever decision you make.”

“I know and you know I’ll do the same for you.”

“I do know.”  He emphatically admits. With their faces only millimeters apart, he asks, “Have I told you how much I love you?”

“You have but uh… I always love to hear you say it and I’ll never get tired of hearing those words come from your lips.”

“Ti amo cosi tanto.”  [“I love you so much.”]

“Ti amo con tutto il cuore! " [“I love you with all of my heart.”]  Buck replies then he leans in and French kisses his fiancé.

They get lost in it and as they gasp and moan into it, Eddie begins to roll his tongue and Buck feels like he’s entered a realm of pure unadulterated ecstasy. 

He rolls onto his back and gently maneuvers Eddie so that he’s on top of him.  Every part of him wants to feel Eddie and he longs for the next 19 days to pass quickly because they’re getting married and on the night of December 17th, their emotional, physical and romantic intimacies are going to collide and it’ll be spectacular.

He breaks the kiss, moves his head to the side so their cheeks are pressed together and whispers, “Fai l’amore con me!” into his ear.

Eddie leans back so he can meet Buck’s eyes, he furrows his eyebrows and says, “My love… I’m still waiting for you to tell me what…”  He trails off because the alarm sounds and it interrupts them.

He thinks the timing of the alarm sounding sucks since they are in the middle of making out and he’s trying to find out what the new Italian phrase Buck said means in English.

Instead of translating it, Buck kisses his neck then lays his head back onto the pillow and gazes into his eyes.  He lifts his hand and cups Eddie’s cheek then replies, “I promise I’ll tell you what it means after we get to Rome and we’re back at the villa”.

“I love you.”

“I love you too… so much.”

Since the alarm is still sounding, Eddie silences it but he leans in and kisses Buck one more time because he can.  After they break it, he says, “19 more days”.

“Yep, only 19 more days.”

Will Eddie find out what "Fai l’amore con me!” means in English before they leave for Rome? 🤷🏽‍♀️

___________

Fic Summary: Months after Buck and Eddie were hit by the same lightning strike; they’re still struggling with the aftermath of it.  But before they make their love confessions, they’ll spend time getting to know themselves as individuals first. Eddie learns to enjoy the simple things in life as he participates in activities on his own and with new friends while Buck learns the rest of the 31-year-old deep dark family secret about his conception and birth. Their journey to forever is still a work in progress but once they finally admit they’re in love with each other, everything that follows their love confessions will be cataclysmic.

__________

Chapter Summaries

Chapter 1 - Eddie makes a new friend while Buck receives devastating news regarding the sperm donation he made for Connor and Kameron.

Chapter 2 - Buck does a lot of research to learn more about the abnormalities found in his red blood cells and Eddie starts a new therapy journey that’s all about him and not the traumas he’s experienced.

Chapter 3 - After more than a month, Buck and Eddie finally spend time together outside of work but it doesn’t end well and they part with a lot of uncertainty regarding their places in each other’s lives.

Chapter 4 - Eddie has a few realizations about his life which causes him to consider moving back to El Paso, TX while Buck continues to be reminded of his past which causes him to take an impromptu road trip across America.

Chapter 5 - Both Buck and Eddie have difficult conversations with their parents and Buck finally learns the truth behind the reason why his mother despised him while Eddie finally tells his mother about the way she tries to control him.

Chapter 6 - More than two weeks after Buck pushed Eddie away after suggesting they needed a break; Eddie decides to try again. Eddie’s there for Buck when he’s at his worst just like Buck was there for him when he was at his worst and he won’t let Buck give up.

Chapter 7 - After Buck’s mental breakdown, Eddie has his back the same way Buck had his when he had his own breakdown more than a year ago.  They share several vulnerable and emotionally intimate moments with one another and they begin to realize their small, sweet and caring gestures matter just as much if not more than any grand gesture ever could because these are the foundations of a long-lasting love relationship.

Chapter 8 - Buck, Eddie and Chris all have their own therapists and during their sessions, they reflect on their pasts while they’re in the present so they can prepare for their future together as a family.

Chapter 9 - Buck and Eddie are there for each other when Buck has to testify as a witness during the trial.  But by the end of it, they’ll both realize their individual and shared traumas are going to keep resurfacing until they talk about them, deal with the fact that they’re in love with one another and face the fact that they can’t live without each other.

Chapter 10 - As Buck and Eddie finally begin to confront their past traumas, they realize how much they need each other to fill in the gaps of their memories.  Additionally, the universe screams at them for what appears to be the one hundredth time so Buck can realize he doesn’t have to ‘find it’ because he already ‘made it’ and Eddie’s reminded tomorrow isn’t promised and he doesn’t have to die alone if he doesn’t want to.

Chapter 11 - A “virga” or dry thunderstorm is in the forecast but once the rain starts, the thunderstorm happening outside won’t be able to match the storm brewing inside between Buck and Eddie.  It’s the universe’s final scream and when the tumultuous winds begin to blow, they’ll have one last chance to hold onto everything they’ve built over the last six years or they’ll lose it all forever.

Chapter 12 - Buck and Eddie have always shared a deep physical attraction and an emotional intimacy that’s unmatched but now that they’re in a relationship, they’re learning how to navigate the romantic intimacy they’ve been waiting for six years to explore. The love they have for each other is a once in a lifetime, soulmate, love of their lives type of love that transcends space and time.

Chapter 13 - While navigating the newness of their romantic relationship, Buck and Eddie take advantage of every moment they spend together. As their individual lives, people from their pasts, time constraints and the possibility of losing each other again make attempts to interrupt and interfere with their journey to forever, they love, care for, support and hold onto each other even tighter to withstand it all.

Chapter 14 - Buck and Eddie can see the lights at the end of the tunnels regarding the results of Buck’s Cancer Screening along with everything else they’re dealing with. But are the lights they see exits to the tunnels or are they headlights on different runaway trains that are speeding towards them in an effort to interrupt their forever?

Chapter 15 - Buck and Eddie have known they were exactly who the other one wanted in a partner since they met six years ago when they agreed to have each other’s backs. They’re in a romantic relationship, they’re both preparing to ask the other one to spend forever with them and by the end of the seventh week into their relationship, together they will plan their most important and greatest adventure for their future.

Chapter 16 - As Buck and Eddie begin to prepare for their marriage ceremony that will take place in Rome, Italy in December 2023, they start planning their first international adventure as a romantic couple. Even though Chris is still the only person they’ve told about their relationship, several people who know them have already witnessed the love they share and as the days continue, others will witness it too.

Chapter 17 - As Buck and Eddie get closer to departing Los Angeles for their international adventure, a moment in time will remind them; life is fragile, tomorrow isn’t promised and every second of everyday should be cherished because everything can change in an instant.  The result of that realization will cause them to hold onto each other even more.

Chapter 18 - As Buck, Eddie and Chris prepare for family gatherings before and during the Thanksgiving holiday, the “Santa Ana Winds” start to blow and all sorts of expected and unexpected familial drama ensues.

Chapter 19 - Will be posted soon.

__________

Read chapters 1-18 are available on AO3.

Continue reading on AO3

Chapter 19 will be posted soon. My goal is to post it tomorrow. I'm currently proofreading and editing it.

[anthros-vanitas-archive]

Find the Word Tag game (chest, book, glass and window)

Greatings everyone, well I have been tag by the always lovely @axl-ul (I apologize for the wait) to find the words chest, book, glass, interest and window in my WIP: The Eternal Throne. Make sure to check out his post right here.

Hope you enjoy!

As always a gentle reminder, these are rough translations from The Eternal Throne.

Chest from Chapter 5: The Smuggler.

One of them, the one directly behind <Samuel>, tried to make a vertical slice with his sword. Before he could even swoop his sword downwards. <Samuel> giving him a quick glance reacted with an even quicker move, turned himself towards his aggressor and putting both hands as support in the bar, delivered a kick with both legs right in his chest; with his guard open the soldier just received the hit, losing balance and falling on his back.

Book from Chapter 2: The Farmer.

<Bren> without much thought, lean over, dropping the staff beside him, taking the book with both hands already open on the floor.

His eyes quickly went through every page trying to decipher its secret, but, his glance only found those walls in ivory. One after the other those blank pages went through and, at that moment, filling the lad with doubts, after all maybe he was mistaken, but his conviction led him to the next page.

Glass from Chapter 10: The Maid.

—Doing what exactly? Searching for myths? Explore ruins of a glory long gone? There's nothing out there worth anything in that cruel world.— Her eyes went glassy and in the starlight they shined as two golden plates —Why do you want to inflict you more pain?

Interest from Chapter 3: The Ranger

—I came here because I heard you had an elusive prey giving you trouble, and now that I’m here I can see that not only it's an elusive one,— she explained while looking at the wall of flames that now was slowly vanishing —but an interesting one as well.

Window from Chapter 1: The Healer.

While exploring the second floor, he found that a main hallway connected with some doors and at the end was a wooden shut window in which dim light passed through. His search continued there, the magus carefully opened each door until behind one of them the detection spell, as expected, finally had a reaction.

Well that's it for me, hope you enjoyed! Now time to tag: @goblin-writer, @asablehart, @maddstermind, @the-down-upside-finch, @lexiklecksi @betweenthetimeandsound @inkhelm and @charlies-storybook Your words to find are: Word, Seek, Find and Surprise. Have fun!

[gremlintheslut]

Forever theirs

Chapter 4.5 alternative no omorashi

Do not repost or translate my work without my permission.

Master list (main pinned)

----------------------------------------

Finn thrusts in and out at an inhuman pace. I feel the coil in my stomach tighten for the 9th time today. We have been doing it like rabbits in my boss's office all day. Then I hear a timer go off. "home time baby girl" Balor utters against my neck and before I know it I'm in well... Somewhere else. We're laying down on silk sheets, the place looks like a sex dungeon and my mind is going a million miles an hour. "calm down we're at my place" he says as he continues to fuck me. I nod my head and try to focus on how good I feel but the weird stomach feeling is back.

A part of me wants to tell him to stop or to take us to my house but nothing will come out of my mouth. The coil in my tummy finally breaks and I come undone for the 9th time. Next thing I know Finn is painting my walls with his seed. He pulls out and lay beside me. "I know I probably should have asked before I took us here but I think you will have a lot of fun here," he says and I look at all of the toys surrounding us. I know what he says is true as my eyes lock onto a toy I recognize. "not today baby get some rest your gonna need it for tomorrow" he chuckles before getting up and returning a little while later with a washcloth.

After cleaning me up he kisses me and climbs into bed next to me. After a few minutes, we fall asleep but I can't help but feel upset when I wake up.

I'm home. In my bed. Alone. He has left and I wonder if he tricked me into thinking he cared so he fuck me and leave. Get ready for work and check the date to make sure it wasn't all a dream it wasn't. All of it was real and I guess I'll find out if he really cares today. He hasn't gone a single day without popping up and fucking me or at least trying to. When I get to work I'm shocked that my boss isn't waiting for me so she can ridicule me. Then I'm even more shocked to find out that everyone is looking for her. The last time anyone heard from her was yesterday when I was in her office for half the day with the door locked. The only excuse I can think of is that she was screaming at me for violating the dress code and wouldn't let me flaunt myself around the office so I had to stay with her the whole day.

I told everyone that story and that she looked pale and she might be sick. The whole day I can't stop thinking about what Finn said. He was sure she wouldn't be back soon? What did he say to her? What did he do? Those thoughts distract me for most of the day until I leave my desk to go to the bathroom. Usually, Finn would pop up and try to have a quickie in a stall but he doesn't. He hasn't shown up at all today. Or maybe he has and I haven't noticed. No. I would know he hates being ignored and he wouldn't leave me alone if I didn't notice he was there.

Then the tears fall. I was right. He used me and now my boss is missing and people might think I did something to her. No one saw me or her leave. I am filled with anxiety, sadness, and confusion. I wipe the tears from my face and leave the bathroom.

The day passes slowly. I finally get to go home. The walk is lonely and I keep getting the weird stomach feeling. I turn into the alleyway where all of this bullshit started and I fight off the urge to turn around and take the long way home. Then arms wrap around my waist. "miss me, princess?" the Irish voice reaches my ears and for a second I am happy before I remember everything about today.

I want to pry his hands off and slap him. Then a second set of hands rest on my shoulders. I look up and see a tall unfamiliar woman. "I have been dying to meet you, sweetheart," she says staring into my eyes and smiling. I feel one hand leave my shoulder but I am too afraid to look at what it's doing.  A wet cloth is then placed over my mouth and I try to hold my breath. I feel lightheaded and I am forced to breathe in. Then I feel relaxed and weightless. My knees buckle and the 2 sets of arms catch me. I am slightly aware of 2 people standing near us. I close my eyes and they dont open for a while.

-----------------------------------------

Words-838

Thanks for reading love ya-gremlin💞💕💋

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Greetings everyone! So uhm. its been a while since my last liveblog post. there have been some circumstances that made me really not wanna read, but now they have passed and I have risen from the ashes like a glorious phoenix and I can resume my divine mission of complaining about this mediocre-at-best book series to an audience of as many as 60 people if you can believe it. Also we're back to the style of post where I just jot down all my thoughts bullet-point style because my life is in shambles

Anyway, last time we had a chapter where literally nothing happened except for Lucien showing up at the very end, so lets see what he does in this chapter 47

I still cant believe its been only two months since Feyre started permanently living at the night court and forgiving Rhysand for torturing her, its taken me longer to forgive people at my school who mildly annoyed me. Also wait, Feyre was UTM for three months, shes spent more time consecutively being tortured by Rhysand than consecutively having a good time with him wth

Feyre stop fuckin jacking the bat boys off challenge (impossible!!)

Ive seen this part where Feyre talks about the bat boys being so much stronger than Lucien in english where shes like "Lucien may have trained to be a warrior, but Cassian, Azriel and Rhys were Warriors" like oh fuck, we gotta get out of here!! those guys are Proper Nouns!! But in the german version, this line is just "Lucien may have trained to become a warrior, but Cassian, Azriel and Rhysand were warriors" because nouns are always capitalized in german and not just when theyre Super Epic and Cool so you cant do that thing that english books do with proper nouns, and Idk i think thats pretty interesting

Something about Feyre being all like "theyre hunting me, its like Im their prey" really pisses me off, I think its because it could be cool and thematically relevant but instead its just kindof nothing

Speaking of which, Lucien coming ip to her and saying "We've been hunting for you" is so forced, it reminds me of how Tamlin would say these weird objectifying things to Feyre alllll the way at the start of ACOMAF even though hes never said shit like that before, except this is way worse because who on earth would say it like that?? hello?? If you were looking for someone who went missing, you'd say like, we've been searching for you or we've been looking for you, not we've been hunting for you thats just insane

HUH?? which high lord gave her the ability to slow down time??? Thats so overpowered and I dont remember anyone ever talking about it

Oh, of course they cant just be afraid of Feyre, they have to be afraid of Rhysand who just showed up

Did this motherfucker really take the time to change his outfit just make his dramatic entrance just a little more dramatic? Honestly, if it was any other guy I would think thats so iconic, but because its Rhysand just wearing his fucking black tunic again I just want him to explode

"Has your mother, the Lady of the Autumn Court, not taught you that you should listen to a lady?" why he have to say that Lucien's mom is the Lady of the Autumn Court thats so awkward. Also yeah, it sounds more awkward translated from german to english because they use both 'Lady' and 'Dame' (which is german for lady) in the same sentence, but its still just a very bad line

This is actually kind of interesting because Im guessing Lucien called Rhys a dirty son of a bitch in the original and then he growled because its like, oh Lucien insulted his lovely mother that he loves soooo much, but its been translated here as 'Hurensohn' (lit. 'whore's son') so it gains this additional layer where Lucien is not just insulting his mom also using a word that's like a trigger for him which makes it much more impactful imo. good job, Ms. Ernst

The fact that Feyre is getting on Lucien's case for siding with Gamlin over her is mighty ironic when you consider whats gonna happen in acosf, but also Lucien right now and the IC in acosf are making the same choice of listening to their close friend of several centuries over his gf that theyve known for like a year. Like, yeah, obviously its super shitty in both cases but I do get why they did it. And thats not even factoring in the political power Tamlin and Rhys have over their friends, like, it really doesnt matter if you "dont enforce rank" because youre the super special ones who were literally chosen by god to rule, you have an inherent authority over the people around you

This is all so frustrating because I do sympathize with Feyre for feeling abandoned by Lucien because that is essentially what he did, but I really dont like how hes portrayed as being unambigiously in the wrong for caring more about politics or himself than Feyre when its like, first of all, politics impact sooooo many people of course making sure that the SC at leats looks stable from the outside is more important than Feyre's mental health, and second of all, Feyre also pretty much only cares about herself. Which is her right btw, she has been very traumatized, she should be prioritizing herself for a while now, i just dont like the way the narrative frames this whole thing

Honestly, Feyre's kinda slaying rn. Her with her big spooky bat wings being all like "when youve been trapped in the darkness for so long it becomes your best friend" is kinda cool, idc

Okay, nevermind, she slayed for exactly one line and then she was nearly choking on Tamlin's name "because of what Rhysand did to him" girlie that was centuries ago why are you making this about him when he was being abusive two months ago* *i dont think he was actually being abuse but thats the framing of the narrative so im just going with it

I would usually properly translate this line but my brain isnt up to it at the moment, but its onpage 528 and I think you'll know which one I mean if you look at it, but I dont really understand Feyre being like "if I had stayed at the spring court and just given myself over to my own misery, I wouldve learned to take pleasure in other people's pain" Is it trying to justify Feyre being needlessly cruel by implying that it was inevitable and that her UTM trauma would've made her become like this no matter what? First of all, you cant say that for sure though and second of all, wowweweee Sarah Janett Maas knows soooooo much about mental health, she should become a psychiatrist, no degree necessary

"You are dead. You and your entire damned court." ohhhhhh so THATS why they call him death incarnate. Someone bring him back to life so no one ever calls him that again

??? Feyre was talking about how weird she felt about her lack of feeling when she was speaking to Lucien just now, but she was thinking about feeling guilty for desjring Rhysand?? what. Am i just being stupid rn or are those things no in any way related

man this chapter was exhausting

[laxmiree]

MLQC Season 2 Chapter 28 - Lucien’s part Translation (Part 1)

⚠️  SPOILER ALERT  ⚠️

This post contains a VERY HEAVY  SPOILER for the chapter that has not been released in EN yet! Feel free  to notify me if  there are any mistakes in the translation~

IMPORTANT!!! to fully understand the story, prior knowledge of previous S2 chapters are needed. Before, I made a short summary that explain those chapters. I hope this can help :D

As the light at his fingertips became brighter, the pain in his back slowly intensified, but he didn’t really care.

He heard the girl sigh softly and couldn't help but laugh.

It seems a long time ago that the two were simply discussing and worrying in this way.

No NW, no Special Task Force, no CORE, just her and him.

Lucien’s previous chapter-> [Here]

[Chapter 28-1]

MC walked into Mondlicht bar to see a man standing behind the bar. MC asked him if Kiro has been preparing for today’s event for a long time. The ‘Manager’ replied that Kiro know better than anyone what he was doing.

After walking out of Mondlicht, she met the mysterious little boy. The little boy told him that people memories are began to awake, it just that some people will dismiss it as pointless dream. Only people who care about those memories that will eventually remember. The little boy gave her another hint about CORE “Maybe it’s not that you need it… but it needs you more.”.

Meanwhile, in NW office, Xiao Yue, still sus of Lucien, was asking someone to compile a record of the CORE bullet gene recognition experiment that Lucien did back in S2 ch 20.

[Chapter 28-2]

In an NW office, Xiao Yue and Lucien discuss the recent internal leak of confidential information. They planned to use Lucien as a ‘bait’ to lure the hidden ‘spy’. Lucien will act as the NW final experiment leader only in name, but he won’t participate. In exchange of Lucien’s specific list of spies, Xiao Yue will give him access to NW experiments information. 

In MC’s company, MC told everyone to get off work, and cancelled Miracle Finder script that she had prepared earlier. While thinking about a new program “Rebuild Loveland City” plan, she decided to go for a walk, and find herself at Lucien Bioscience Research Centre. She entered the building and met Pete.

The research centre is exceptionally silent at night, with only a few scattered windows still illuminated.

I followed my memory up the stairs, and suddenly an extraordinarily familiar young man came into view, causing me to subconsciously blurt out.

MC: Pe-

Seeing the young man's puzzled gaze, I immediately stopped talking. In this restarted world, this seems to be the first time I have seen Pete.

(T/N: Yeah, me too MC. Too bad this is also the last time we saw him oof-)

He was no different than he remembered, and it looked like he was still doing research with Lucien.

MC: Pe.., this classmate, is Professor Lucien still here?

Pete: Sorry, I'm not really sure, I didn't see the professor today.

After politely explaining to me, Pete marched down the stairs without saying much.

Looking at his back, I climbed the stairs with a hidden sigh, and finally my feet stopped in front of a laboratory door.

I stared at the door quietly, and images from long ago passed before my eyes. I was the one who wanted to change the fate of my company, and I was the one who mistook Lucien for someone else based on his appearance.

The me who really was changed by my fate after pushing this door open, and the me who still reunited with him here after the do-over.

My heart, which was always flustered, quietly calmed down, and I gently brushed the doorway.

I always seem to unconsciously want an affirmative answer from Lucien's mouth.

I chuckled to myself at this feeling. After sighing softly, I decided not to waste time and went back to my office first to put together what I had thought of.

??: I've been waiting for you to knock on the door for a long time.

The moment I turned around, a soft laugh sounded from behind me and I froze as I turned back.

Lucien folded his arms across his chest and leaned sideways against the wall, gazing at me quietly.

[Chapter 28-3]

I looked at Lucien and froze a little, wondering if I was imagining things because I had been contemplating for too long.

Lucien took a step forward, his gaze lowered, revealing a faint tiredness, and his usually clean clothes were slightly dusty.

Thinking about the grand words I told to him last time, I suddenly felt a little nervous in front of him.

MC: Why are you… here?

Lucien: Where is this place?

MC: Lucien Bioscience Research Centre?

Lucien: Since this is the Lucien Bioscience Research Centre, why do you think I'm here?

Lucien: I should be the one that asking you, what are you doing here at this late hour?

MC: ….

I pursed my lips, feeling as if I was being a bit silly.

I quietly swept a glance at Lucien in front of me. He was wearing a white lab coat and looked no different from his usual self.

But compared to the Special Task Force and NW's Professor Lucien, the Lucien in front of me makes me a little stunned.

Lucien: If you just want to come and stare at me, maybe we can find a room to sit in first, don't you think?

Lucien's voice sounded again, and I hastily scrambled back to him, mustering my courage.

MC: Actually… I have some ideas for the new episode of Miracle Finder and would like to hear if you have any opinions… After all, you’re still my program consultant.

I said these words with some hesitation, after all this reason sounded particularly far-fetched.

Too much has happened between us, and those complex and patchy traces have long been etched.

Maybe he'll reject me, I thought.

Who knows Lucien's eyes blinked gently and the smile on his face seemed to relax a bit.

Lucien: Let's go to my office, there's a blackboard for you to use.

I handed Lucien my notebook and stood in front of the blackboard.

For a moment I seemed to go back to a long time ago, to when we were simply producer and program consultant.

Lucien: Let's get started.

He leaned back in his chair with a relaxed look, his face slightly weary as he looked back at me.

He's just my program consultant now, nothing more.

I took a deep breath and picked up the chalk.

MC: For the new show project, I want to position it in post- ‘New Year’s Eve Change Incident’.

(T/N: New Year’s Eve Change Incident is something that happened 4 years before the S2 start. Not much is known about it except the fact that it’s an incident that involved a majority of evolvers who staged a riot; that it was a cover for something ‘big’ and Gavin was working on investigating it.)

So basically, MC proposed that in her plan of ‘Rebuild Loveland City’ program, she plans to show balance between ordinary people and evolver by showing how some people behaved after New Year’s Eve Change Incident. She pointed out that even the incident caused mass panic, Loveland City eventually got into stable phase. Well, at least before hunter game happened.

Lucien pointed out two problems in her idea. First of all, compared to current chaos in Loveland city (Hunter game etc.), ‘New Year’s Eve Change Incident’ was ultimately a local event, something that’s far smaller than what’s happening right now. And two, the audience may not be able to accept the analogy because of how different it is. Which can lead to them not catching the main idea, or worse made them think they can’t do the same thing.

Lucien: MC, do you think an 'ideal city' should belong to Evolver, or to ordinary people? Or maybe both sides can coexist peacefully?

Lucien picked up two different pens and placed them on the table.

MC: …I don’t know.

I looked at the two pens in silence and felt that something that had always been in the back of my mind was beginning to become clear.

Lucien: And do you think that the vast majority of people in the Loveland City have their own answers?

He chuckled softly in the face of my silence and picked up one of the signature pens to lean it against the other.

Lucien: I think many people these days lack the ability to make independent and autonomous judgments.

Lucien: The information and words they see every day are enough for them to make judgments that they think are coming from them.

Lucien: If you want to influence a group of people and get them to accept your point of view, you have to join them first.

I froze and watched as Lucien pulled out a fountain pen and laid it across the side of his signature pens.

Lucien: Go ahead and imagine how they see it, not with the intention of 'telling' or 'educating' them. Rather, let them make 'their own choices' because of the images they see.

MC: What you mean is…

Lucien's words don't seem to be solving the issue he mentioned, but rather to work around it.

MC: The gap between the change of New Year's Eve Incident and the present situation is not important; What important is to show a more specific person.

The New Year's Eve change is ultimately just a backdrop; it's the effort people put into crossing the divide and fear that matters to the show.

Not looking down from on high, but seeing the same perspective as people.

I stared blankly at Lucien and suddenly had the feeling that he always had an unchanged expression on his face when facing me.

Answered my questions carefully, gave me space to think, and pushed me forward.

(T/N: it’s really Lucien’s style :””…)

MC: I will re-select the right subject, thank you, Lucien.

Lucien: MC, this show will definitely be deterred in no small way.

MC: I know, but I don't care.

I straightened my chest toward him and felt some of the emotions that had been obliterated by the silence slowly flowing back into my body.

Maybe I haven't found my own answer yet, but I know exactly what I should do now.

I also want to take this opportunity to try to find my answer.

MC: I will put together a formal program plan.

I took a step and looked up again at the notebook he had marked.

MC: Lucien, if this program plan goes well, can I invite you to participate in the shooting?

Maybe the atmosphere was just too nostalgic, or maybe I knew I could get some answers from being around Lucien.

He seemed stunned to hear my invitation, I don't know if he was thinking or silently declined.

MC: But if you've got a lot going on…

Lucien: I'm in.

MC: Really!

Lucien: Go for it, MC classmate.

[Chapter 28-5]

The next day MC communicated her idea to her colleagues and they all unanimously decided to start over. When she took out a script, she found a woman’s profile in a thick file. The woman’s son seems to have disappeared and she’s been looking for him. It turns out that he’s the gravity boy from S2 chapter 3.

MC first shooting place is the hospital where Evolver can get treated.

A few days later, I arrived at the entrance of a hospital with my film crew, and Lucien was already waiting there.

He was wearing a clean suit, and the dappled light fell on his eyes, making him look extraordinarily gentle and elegant.

Our first location was the hospital where Lucien and I had visited to treat Evolver.

As I walked into the hospital, I kept reviewing the shooting plan and interview script in my mind, as if it was my first time doing a show.

But I knew that this uneasiness must not be shown, otherwise it would affect my colleagues in the shooting team.

I could only try hard to swallow this anxiety until my somewhat stiff fingertips were gently held.

Lucien: Your steps are too stiff.

Lucien leaned and whispered next to my ear, I glanced at him rigidly to see a smile in his eyes.

Lucien: You have a good plan, no need to be so nervous. Just do it the way you want it to be done.

My footsteps stopped at the door of the dean's room, and with a gentle knock, the door was opened slowly.

Lucien's hand fell on my back, and with a gentle pat, instantly dispelled all the doubts and hesitations screaming in my mind.

Lucien: Go ahead.

MC interviewed the Hospital’s Director. The director told her about the origin of the hospital. It was a small clinic at first, but the news spread about a clinic that can help evolver and it grew to be what it is now.

Director: Whether it is Evolver or ordinary people, everyone will get sick. Is not that what doctors for? To treat illnesses?

MC: But I remember when many people were boycotting Evolver and even wanted to drive them out of Loveland city.

Director: It's true that the glass of our clinic has been smashed several times. But then what? We’ve done nothing wrong.

The sunlight diffused behind the old man; his of wrinkled faces filled with determination.

Director: Some people smashed our glass, but others sent us anonymous donations, in tens, in hundreds, in hundreds of thousands… Some people opposed us, and some joined us.

MC: Do you ever regret it?

Director: No. I'm glad that I made that choice in the first place.

The spring breeze was unbearably soft as Lucien and I walked quietly along the hospital paths.

The remaining camera crew followed the established plan for patient interviews and candid shots.

MC: Lucien, how do you think Director Zou turned a small clinic into a large hospital?

Lucien: Probably because he is very determined.

MC: A strong belief that all people should have the opportunity to be treated?

Lucien: It's more than that.

Lucien looked up at the patients and doctors passing through the corridors.

Lucien: What he's doing can't be done by one person. He needs to reach out to others, get people on board, and have that belief be continually expanded.

Lucien: Just like that little clinic slowly became the size it is now.

He curved the corners of his mouth and his eyes were flowing with waves of light.

Lucien: MC, who do you think was the person that first spread the word about a clinic that could treat Evolver?

I froze, the leaves rustling as a name subconsciously swept to my lips. The moment it was about to slip out, I met Lucien's unspoken gaze.

Lucien: You have to escape out of sight, or you’ll also get caught up in the mess.

(T/N: Thanks @/endless-season for helping me translate this sentence lol.)

As soon as the words left his mouth, he instantly pushed me away.

MC: What…

A short, icy arrow suddenly passed through the gap between our fingertips and nailed hard to the ground, like a warning.

Lucien: Looks like your shooting schedule was leaked.

He said that as he pulled me into a run, the cold and short arrows fell at our feet every now and then.

MC: Lucien, not in the hospital!

We looked at each other and quickly ran out of the hospital gates and escaped into the park forest across the street from the hospital.

How can someone attack in such public view?

I was a bit incredulous, but I didn't dare to stop, dodging the short arrows while thinking of countermeasures.

MC: Lucien, could it be an Evolver?

Lucien: It's not important.

His fingertips coalesced a sharp icicle, and after pausing for a moment with him gazing towards his back, he raised an icy smile.

He sent the icicle in a slanting direction, and the moment it was thrown out, Lucien's body suddenly took a step to the left, as if avoiding something.

The muffled sound of something heavy dropping on the ground is faintly heard in the distance, followed by rapid rattling footsteps fading away.

The woods regained their silence, leaving only the sound of the breeze sweeping through the fresh leaves.

I knew someone would stop the show from being filmed, but I didn't expect it to be so radical.

Lucien seemed to sense what I was thinking and brushed my hair, which was a bit messy.

Lucien: From the beginning, I warned you that this path would not be easy. Now it's just the beginning, you still have a chance to stop.

He looked calm, but with a little probing in his eyes.

MC: No, I have no reason to quit. I acknowledge that I misjudged the opposition to the program and I will be more careful next time.

Lucien's eyes were stained with a hint of a smile again, his hand reached into his pocket, and before he could speak, the phone rang suddenly.

He gave me a deep look and I immediately understood that this was probably not a call that I could hear.

At this moment, Lucien is not just a program consultant for my company.

MC: I'll go ahead and see if they're safe, and we'll meet at the hospital gate later.

Without waiting for his reply, I turned around and ran back toward the hospital.

Fortunately, no one else was attacked, and I sighed with relief.

To be on the safe side, I went to say hello to Director Zou again, telling him that he must always be careful these days.

Finally, after confirming with the teams that everything was shot, I told them to rush to the next location while I waited in front of the hospital.

There was just a late arrival of Lucien.

For some reason, my heart was particularly uneasy and I always felt that something was wrong.

As if echoing my deepest worry, my phone suddenly rang and it was Lucien.

MC: Lucien! Are you okay?!

Lucien: What can possibly happen to me anyway.

The voice on the phone carries a bit of a chuckle, as if the worry I just had was just me being silly.

Lucien: It was just a call from the Research Centre, and there was some temporary problem. So, I'm going to leave for a while.

[Chapter 28-6]

The cold and faint light illuminates the shabby bathroom, the sink is so dry that only a layer of gray water stain remains, and the light bulb flickers on and off, shining on the missing tiles.

Lucien leaned against the sink; his originally clean suit stained with blood.

Behind him is a filthy glass, reflected a faintly visible blood stains hiding a horrific wound that spread across a large portion of his back.

The girl's worried voice came to his ears, making his cold gaze soften a little.

He answered her question swimmingly, his gaze flicking aside - two small figures moving a few steps closer in the shadows.

MC: Is it a very troublesome problem?

Lucien: Still within manageable limits.

Lucien tried to control his voice, but there was some lightness coming from the soles of his feet and a stealthy rustling sound coming from where the marble met by the sink.

The figure in the shadows stretched out his hand, and the world seemed to have shed its gravity a little under the flickering points of light at his fingertips.

Lucien simply raised the corners of his mouth disdainfully, and his fingertips lit up with an extremely similar light.

MC: Lucien, I just told Director about the attack and asked him to be careful as well.

Lucien: Since you decided not to stop, you have to consider the impact on others.

The girl's voice seemed a little distressed, and even though he wasn't in front of her, he could still picture her frowning slightly.

As the light at his fingertips became brighter and brighter, the pain in his back slowly intensified, but he didn’t really care.

The person in the shadows was clearly not skilled in the use of this power, and the range of gravity he affected was sustained throughout the bathroom-

But this also affects the companion beside him, another figure raised their arm, fingers in the shape of a pistol, but hesitated to attack.

Two repulsive forces were playing at the same time, but Lucien's face was unchanged, quietly examining them.

MC: What if I get more people involved in the filming process? Like an outdoor show with more viewers.

Lucien: In the current situation, magnifying the opposition is also a way to oppose it. When things go wrong, the consequences could be worse.

He heard the girl sigh softly and couldn't help but laugh.

It seems a long time ago that the two were simply discussing and worrying in this way.

No NW, no Special Task Force, no CORE, just her and him.

This feeling unexpectedly made him a little nostalgic.

Although the two figures in the shadows were a constant reminder that now was not the time to relax, he couldn't help but feel happy.

This attitude seemed to sting them.

The moment one of them brought his fingertips down, the force that always opposed him abruptly disappeared and invisible projectiles like bullets ran towards him in the blink of an eye

Lucien's finger waved into the air, and a transparent barrier was erected, blocking the invisible shots in the distance, causing a violent muffled sound.

MC: Hmm? I think I heard something strange. Have you arrived at the Research Centre?

Lucien: Yeah, it's okay. It's just the sound of the lab equipment.

MC: Then I'll think about it, you get to work first! Don't forget to rest!

MC: I… will find ways to try not to cause trouble for others.

The girl's breathless but still firm words made him arched his eyebrows.

Lucien hung up the phone and slowly stood up.

Lucien: Since you dare to appear in front of me, you should have already made up your mind.

Lucien rubbed the wet blood on his hands, and immediately more intense shooting came at him.

While Lucien put up the barrier, the other person fiercely stretched out his hands, tightening his brow as if trying to try to converge his power in a smaller area.

Lucien felt a tremendous repulsive force from above, he subconsciously slightly bent his knee, and put one knee against the ground.

Seeing the surprise from the two of them, Lucien smiled slightly.

The next second the ice pick he condensed in his hand was abruptly thrown out, scratching the side neck of a person, leaving a faint blood mark.

The figure panicked, the power stopped abruptly, Lucien's fingertips suddenly lit up-

A huge and precise gravity comes down in a counterattack, pressing the two of them to the ground when they are caught off guard.

Lucien slowly walked over with a cold gaze and looked down to see the faces of the two people more clearly

A boy and a girl, two children, seemingly around ten years old, struggling constantly on the ground, their empty eyes filled with fear and anger.

Lucien: Are you two the spies?

The light bulb behind Lucien wavered again and there was an instant flash of weird light at the corner.

On the way to the next filming location, I kept thinking about Lucien's words.

It shouldn’t bring trouble or even danger to the subject because of the shooting.

I looked around cautiously, people were coming and going in front of me, and I felt skittish even for a moment.

Looking at the shooting plan in my hand, an idea suddenly flashed through my mind.

I immediately rushed to the planned shooting location, took a camera from the cameraman and turned around to inform the filming team.

MC: Three teams will now go to the three locations for tomorrow's shoot. No need to pick up the details, take the minor parts first.

Now that MC shooting schedule has been leaked, MC was running a race against the people who want to stop her. She rescheduled everything, so that the filming can be done before those people find out about it. It was a tiring day for her.

The stars had hung in the sky at some point, and I was walking down the street with my camera.

The phone rang, and when I saw the word "Lucien", I picked it up excitedly.

Lucien: Did the shoot go well?

MC: Lucien, I adjusted my shooting schedule to shoot the later interviewee first, and it went well!

The soft laughter of approval came from my ears and made me feel like I had made a smart decision.

MC: I met so many people, heard so many stories, and captured so many images.

Lucien: And do you like the ‘Loveland city’ in their eyes?

I lifted my head to the sky, and a faint flash of a shooting star cut through the starry night, giving me immense peace of mind.

MC: I like it very much.

The world became silent for a while, as if something was quietly sprouting.

(T/N: SOBBING)

MC: I'm trying to get a head start on putting together today's material, so maybe it will help with tomorrow's shoot!

Lucien: I'm also going to sort out some data. Although at home, I think tonight will be a fulfilling night for both of us.

It was late at night when I returned to the office, but I didn't feel the least bit tired and concentrated on selecting all the shots.

When I returned to my senses, it was already morning.

After a big yawn and a stretch, I casually picked up my phone and decided to go downstairs for a walk.

Who knows, as soon as I came out of the gate, blinding flashing lights came into my eyes, and several strangers kept shooting at me, and I froze in place for a while.

Young man: This is the collaborator of Professor Lucien who was attacked by Evolver last night.

Young man: I heard that the show is being filmed to rebuild Loveland city, let's hear what she has to say.

Lucien was attacked by Evolver?

Next Part-> [Here]

[foxghost]

Joyful Reunion

Translator: foxghost @foxghost tumblr/ko-fi1 Beta: meet-me-in-oblivion @meet-me-in-oblivion tumblr Original by 非天夜翔 Fei Tian Ye Xiang Masterpost | Characters, Maps & Other Reference Index

Book 4, Chapter 41 (Part 3)

It’s the middle of winter in the Twelfth Month, and after a series of blizzards have passed through the region, many spots along the roads in the north are closed off. Fortunately, the sunny days they’ve had lately actually made travelling easier. Duan Ling arrives in Dingjun County, incorporating into his troops the Hebei soldiers that have been waiting here. It’s already been more than a fortnight since he left, and Ye doesn’t even have an army anymore; who knows what the place even looks like by now. Qin Long’s been marched off to Jiangzhou, so he’ll have to install a new defender general for the city of Hejian when he gets back.

Upon winter’s arrival, Hebei had turned into a snow plain that stretches on for a thousand miles. When he sees Ye on the horizon the first thought that comes to Duan Ling is — I’m home.

He squeezes Benxiao’s flank and charges ahead of the group.

“Hey!” Wu Du loses no time at all to spur his horse on to catch up to him. Duan Ling slows down a bit, and the two of them gallop on the snowy plains side by side. On the boundless prairie, the sky is vast and the earth wide, imparting a sense of freedom.

“We’re home!” Duan Ling smiles at Wu Du.

No matter how nice Huaiyin may be, it is after all someone else’s home. This is the place that he really calls home. Wu Du catches up to him, and putting one foot on his horse’s back, he leaps towards Duan Ling, landing just behind him, taking Benxiao’s reins so he can steer them into the city.

“The governor and the commandant are back!”

“Greetings, Governor.”

“Lord Governor, you’re finally back!”

Duan Ling enters the estate with snow clinging to his robes while Wu Du is still outside shaking the snow out of their cloaks. Everyone rushes up to surround him. Lin Yunqi says, “This waiting has been unbearable! I’ve been on tenterhooks every day. There are forty-thousand refugees here!”

“More people came?” Duan Ling asks, flabbergasted.

Duan Ling had taken the entire army with him, leaving those in the city just bloody terrified. If forty-thousand refugees start causing trouble it would be no joke. But they have Fei Hongde, so keeping these people in line is a piece of cake.

Fei Hongde is in one of the minor seats in the main hall having tea, nodding at Duan Ling calmly as he comes in. Noting that the streets have been rather peaceful all the way here, it’s clear that nothing much has happened.

“All done?” Fei Hongde asks.

“All done.” Duan Ling nods. Without waiting for him to summon them, the officials come into the hall one by one.

“Ten days ago, I sent a messenger to Hejian to deploy the troops, but General Qin was absent from his post without leave. Hejian is quite a mess right now,” Fei Hongde says.

“That’s alright,” Duan Ling says. “In a little while, Wu Du will bring some people to take over his responsibilities and assign a new lieutenant.”

While Duan Ling has been away, more than ten thousand people have come to the city seeking shelter, so in total there are now almost forty-thousand refugees. Fei Hongde had come up with a scheme to choose a number of people from the refugees, forming them into a civilian militia. He then had them reporting on each other, serving as a check on themselves, and he’s also sorted them into castes.

All of a sudden the refugees are busy infighting. With their hands full with their own affairs, they hardly have energy left over to cause trouble.

“Since Your Highness is back,” Fei Hongde says, “you can abolish this clause, take me to task, and punish me by confiscating a year of my salary.”

Duan Ling isn’t sure what face to make. “I must thank you, Master Fei.”

Fei Hongde had gone out of his way to play the bad governor so that Duan Ling can play the good governor. Duan Ling thus sends a messenger to announce that the temporary clauses are hereby abolished — after all, their army is back now, so all things can be settled.

Wu Du finishes shaking the snow off their cloaks and comes in. “I’ll send someone over to Hejian now.”

“Let’s figure that out in a few days,” Duan Ling replies.

“This needs to be taken care of right away. Do you have a candidate for the Defender General of Hejian?”

“Let’s go with Sun Ting,” Duan Ling says.

Sun Ting seems taken aback. “Lord Governor, all I want is to keep working for you.”

“Don’t worry.” Duan Ling then adds, “These are extraordinary times. For now, just help me bring peace back to Hejian.”

Duan Ling was going to send Shulü Rui with Sun Ting, but Shulü Rui probably isn’t willing to leave him, so for now he leaves Hejian in Sun Ting’s care. He adds, “Master Fei, I must trouble you to help me watch over Hejian for a time.”

“Not a problem,” Fei Hongde replies. “I’m glad to be of assistance.”

Wu Du says, “Go check on the city together then. The two cities are pretty close anyway, and it won’t take more than a day’s journey to get there. If you leave now, you can be there by dusk.”

Thus Duan Ling asks Lin Yunqi to draft an official document; Qing Long had left his post without permission, escaping Hejian with malicious intent. Wu Du had sent troops to capture him, and Qin Long is now being escorted to Jiangzhou for judgement, so Sun Ting will be Hejian’s Acting Defender General. While this is written, Duan Ling thinks he should transfer the county magistrate back to the capital as well and put someone local into that position to make governing it easier.

Fei Hongde takes the document and leaves for Hejian with Lin Yunqi to make a public announcement, and Sun Ting packs a few things and leaves with them. As for the rest, Duan Ling instructs the servants to get everything packed and send that along with Fei Hongde’s items. He gives them ten days; once Fei Hongde finishes sorting out things over there, everyone can come back together.

Qin Long may have a certain level of prestige in Hejian, but he’s already been captured, and Duan Ling is sure few of his bandits are left. Duan Ling has no qualms about sending Fei Hongde over to sway popular sentiment, as it’s not a big problem.

Outside, Shi Qi is taking inventory of the stuff sent with them in the Huaiyin carriages, and as the contents are giving him quite a shock, he runs in and says to Duan Ling, “Governor, who’d you guys rob to get so much gold?”

“What are you saying?” Wu Du reprimands him. “That belonged to the governor in the first place!”

“How much money is in there?” Duan Ling didn’t get a chance to check on the journey back, and the cases haven’t been opened.

“There are ten thousand taels of gold in there!” Shi Qi says.

Duan Ling almost knocks over a table. He yells, “What? Ten thousand taels?”

Shi Qi turns around and leaves the room, returning with two bars of gold. He knocks it against a table and they make a bright clink. Duan Ling suddenly gets a sense of Deja Vu. He turns to Wu Du with a stunned look on his face.

“Is that from Tongguan?” Duan Ling asks.

“Seems like it,” Wu Du replies. “Why were they … Oh never mind.”

Their eyes meet for a moment, and Duan Ling recalls the ties between Yao Fu and Xiliang. When Duan Ling left Tongguan he’d handed these ten cases of gold bars to the new governor of Tongguan. Mu Kuangda probably isn’t brazen enough to move them. So did Li Yanqiu send people to get them then?

Shi Qi gets a few more servants to inventory the carriages, but Wu Du is saying to him, “Those things belong to the governor, not the treasury. Don’t do anything rash.”

Shi Qi promptly says that he knows — he’s only looking, broadening his horizons and all that.

The officials in Ye are something like Duan Ling’s vassals at any rate. Aside from Lin Yunqi, Duan Ling doesn’t really hide what goes on in the office from Yan Di, Wang Zheng, and Shi Qi. Once the cases are opened, Duan Ling gives all three of them a bar of gold each and tells them to exchange it for silver as money to spend. He then asks Shi Qi to send an escort with eighty taels of the gold to catch up to Fei Hongde and Sun Ting, so they can have money to use in Hejian.

He’s finally home. The first thing Duan Ling does is climb up the mountain to go soak in the hot springs, and after that, go back for dinner. Wu Du’s the one making dinner now, so it’s not the delicacies that Zheng Yan makes, but it has the warmth of homemade food. Duan Ling thinks that staying in Hebei is just more comfortable, after all; this may be the last hours of his idleness, for once New Year comes it’ll be one thing after another, and he won’t have such an easy time of it anymore.

Spring Festival is near at hand. Gradually, some of the people who’ve left for the north and the central plains are coming back. Duan Ling thus issues an order of placement, so that each of the returning families could find lodgings in the new city.

Many rich families would also like to take back their farmland, but Duan Ling had amended the land clause, allocating them some of the new plots outside the city and handing them an amount of appropriate compensation in return.

Fei Hongde sends back a messenger with a report the next day. Conditions in Hejian are favourable but the city seems to be missing a lot of people. Presumably what’s missing is the irregular army Qin Long had taken with him. As for how Mu Kuangda started working with Qin Long in the first place, a report will probably be sent to him once they finish interrogating Qin Long in Jiangzhou.

Duan Ling keeps turning it over and over in his head, and he believes what Li Yanqiu is planning to do is probably to try to take down Cai Yan and Mu Kuangda in one go.

He discusses this with Wu Du for a long time, and in the end, Wu Du tells him, “If he can somehow make the crown prince join hands with Chancellor Mu and they step into a trap together, that would be possible.”

“And what crime will he punish him for in the end?” Duan Ling asks. “Make Lang Junxia give false testimony? Identify Mu Kuangda as the person who set up Cai Yan as the imposter?”

Wu Du is sitting in the master’s seat, while Duan Ling sits next to him, thinking hard.

Wu Du says, at long last, “No matter what happens, just let them arrange it. It would actually be easier for the imperial court to accept it if the blame is put on Mu Kuangda. That night, His Majesty did say something to me — he told me not to let you worry anymore.”

This may have everything to do with Duan Ling, but after reestablishing familial ties with Li Yanqiu, he’s automatically become the biggest problem Li Yanqiu must resolve. Li Yanqiu is just as stubborn as Duan Ling’s father once was; those two siblings have a strong sense of responsibility that makes them unwilling to shirk their duty.

When it comes down to it, with an emperor on the throne, it’s hardly Duan Ling’s place to meddle in the affairs of the imposter crown prince and Mu Kuangda.

“Take a look at this letter,” Wu Du says. “I found it in your dowry.”

Duan Ling isn’t sure what to say to that.

Duan Ling looks down at the letter. It’s in Li Xiao’s handwriting, stamped with the princess’s official seal. Turns out that there are two big trunks of books among the gifts from Huaiyin on every subject, including astronomy, divination, agriculture, poetry and songs. Li Xiao’s handwriting is downright identical to Li Jianhong’s; it makes Duan Ling recall that his father also told him that his aunt studied a wide range of subjects, and perhaps her calligraphy was taught by Li Jianhong himself.

Li Xiao didn’t have time to hold a long conversation with Duan Ling while they were in Huaiyin, and it wasn’t long at all before he was in a hurry to leave, so she could only leave him what she wants to tell him in a letter. The first is about the gold bars in the cases. Li Yanqiu got word of them after the Battle of Tongguan, and he sent messengers to remove the hidden treasure.

However, Li Yanqiu didn’t want to integrate this money into the empire’s treasury, for if he did it would make it more difficult to raise funds and scrape the fat off those Jiangzhou nobles. Few know of the existence of this treasure, and according to what Li Yanqiu told Mu Kuangda, the treasure’s still being kept in the cave.

In order to hide it from Mu Kuangda and the spies of the imperial court, Li Yanqiu had told Yao Fu to have the Tangut escort the gold to Huaiyin in secret, depositing it in Yao Fu’s treasury should they ever have need of it.

Now that Duan Ling needs money in Hebei, Li Xiao’s exact words are: You can have some of it to spend for now, and I’ll hold on to the rest for you. Whenever you want some, just write us a note and you can withdraw it anytime you like. Her wording also implies that she’s simply returning the gold to its “rightful owner”, but this idea of rightful ownership bears thinking, as it really just means “finders keepers”.

Li Xiao then goes on for several large sheets of paper about the administration of Hebei, mostly concerning irrigation, agriculture, forestry, military fortifications and the like. Once Duan Ling finishes reading it, he can’t help but exclaims it’s all brilliant — he plans to put it to use, and change his plans according to this come spring.

While he’s been gone, a temporary trade route had already been established between Hebei and Shandong. It may be bitterly cold and difficult to travel, but trade can commence as soon as the ice melts away in spring.

Duan Ling plans to exchange all ten thousand taels of gold for silver, then slowly hand them out as official loans to the commoners, so that they can have something to live on until the loans come due after the autumn harvest.

Then, he brings in Shulü Rui. Shulü Rui has already been under his command for two months, always loyal, and speaking very little, eating and sleeping in the same places as the other soldiers. He’s not married yet, and he’s never let a word out about whatever happens here.

Duan Ling had written a letter, and now he asks Shulü Rui to head to Liao to deliver it to Yelü Zongzhen, to bring some New Year gifts and check on the situation there while he’s at it. The letter asks if Yelü Zongzhen needs any help at all, and also discusses the matter of Shulü Rui.

In the future, if Duan Ling can successfully return to court, he’ll have to find a suitable match for Shulü Rui, and try his best to send him back to Liao as a commissioner of the Chen Heir-apparent.

Shulü Rui takes the letter from him and sets off for Zhongjing.

Now that everything has been delegated and Duan Ling is no longer burdened, he wants to go out to inspect the city with Wu Du.

“Aiyoh, money burning a hole in your pocket and can’t sit still, huh,” Wu Du says.

Duan Ling laughs aloud, ready to spread some money around. Wu Du adds, “I was thinking about buying some new year merchandise. The Spring Festival is almost here.”

This translation is by foxghost, on tumblr and kofi. I do not monetise my hobby translations, but if you’d like to support my work generally or support my light novel habit, you can either buy me a coffee or commission me. This is also to note that if you see this message anywhere else than on tumblr, it was reposted without permission. Do come to my tumblr. It’s ad-free. ↩︎

[wiypt-writes]

Consciousness Of Guilt

Chapter 21

Summary: Your honeymoon over, it’s back to work…and someone there is REALLY getting on your nerves…

Warnings: Language, adult themes, Smut (NSFW, 18+)

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar the reader and any other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer. I do not consent to my work being translated or posted elsewhere. If you see this fiction on any site other than Tumblr it has been taken without permission.

W/C: 7.3k

A/N: Thanks to my beta @spectre-posts​

Consciousness Of Guilt Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 20

Your heels tapped against the elevator floor, impatience being your newest virtue as of late. If it wasn't life taking its sweet time you were simply irritated at how slow everyone else seemed to be moving.

You and Andy had been nothing short of busy since getting married. Whilst the newly wed glow was absolutely still about you, you both seemed to be simply rushing off to work or just missing one another in the office. Whilst you had turned down Eva's request for you to take over her position while on maternity leave, all things considered, you might as well have done it. You and Amber were running things within the office whilst Mandy, the temp, just took the name and calls, answering emails on behalf of the new mom.

And she was something else; deep burgundy hair, always in a tight bun and dressed to impress. You scoffed at Amber one day over lunch, telling her that Mandy reminded you of a porn star. And boy, did she act like one. You had half a mind to talk to Ron about her. You tried telling Andy and he just laughed you off, rolling his eyes and joking with you over it.

Amber had conceded she did remind her of someone she’d seen in one of those “boss rails horny office worker” films on YouPorn, which had left the two of you in fits of giggles. Giggles you’d been unable to stop when the woman in question had walked in, or rather her boobs had, followed by the rest of her about sixty seconds later.

Today, however, you’d seen Mandy for all of fifteen minutes in the morning for your daily stand up, when she had disappeared stating she had to meet with Ron. It was now lunchtime, you’d given up waiting for her to come back, and instead had decided to take your break.

The lift stopped on Andy's floor and you felt a little weight lift off your shoulders as you neared his office. You glanced down at your ring set and smiled at the soft and dainty design. It made you grin a little and you waved to Andy's assistant and paralegal as you walked passed her as she was on a call.

“Oh, hang on, Mrs Barber…” she called and you stopped, turning to her as she smiled, “he’s in there with Ron and Mandy, might wanna knock, I don’t know what they’re talking about.”

Well, that was news. You had been under the impression Mandy's meeting was just with Ron. It hadn't occurred to you it was a partner meeting with Andy. You gave her a nod and raised your left hand to knock on the door.

“Yeah?” Andy’s deep drawl called. You opened the door and smiled as Andy looked at you, his eyes soft.

“Hi, Angel.”

“Sorry, I didn’t know you were in a meeting I was just calling on the off chance you could do lunch? But if you’re busy…sorry, shoulda called.” You popped a shoulder, apologetically.

Ron smirked, "no, I think we're done here. We'll set the press release once it's finished. Trial was a success, thanks to Andy. Amanda, I'll expect the final draft for review on my desk by tomorrow morning." He stood and winked at Andy, "Enjoy your lunch."

You stepped into the office, clearing the way out for Ron and he stopped in the doorway.

“Nice work with the damage control on the Goldman case by the way. I know I emailed down but wish I’d gotten chance to thank Eva in person, was a hell of a dumb case to leave for maternity with.”

“Oh, yeah, don’t sweat she was fine.”

“Shame we lost it too but can’t win ‘em all. Mind you, he was guilty as shit.”

“Stupid too. I mean anyone who calls a pizza delivery and then holds up the delivery driver with a gun, on his own stoop ain’t winning any Mensa prizes anytime soon.” You snorted and Ron laughed.

“Fucking state appointed cases. Still, we’re obligated to take our quote. Anyway, change of subject, I told Andy to come over Saturday, we’ll do dinner.”

“Sure, sounds good.”

With a final wink Ron left and you turned back to Andy. Mandy was lingering around his desk and you huffed a little as you were waiting for her to go.

But she really wasn’t taking the hint.

You cleared your throat, “Andy, do you want me to meet you downstairs?”

“Might be best, Y/N,” Mandy smiled at you, flashing her perfect white teeth, “I’ve got a couple of things I need to discuss with Mr Barber.” She chuckled as she gently perched on the edge of his desk.

You blinked, looked from her to Andy, who eyd you with a little teasing amusement but you weren’t really in the mood. Normally you’d laugh it off as you knew he’d put her straight when he got chance but today it irked you, big time.

“You know what, it doesn’t matter, I’ll sort myself out and eat with Amber.” You gave a curt nod, and before Andy could interject, you turned heel and disappeared.

You didn't even bother grabbing Amber, you'd only said it. Instead, you headed for your Jeep and sat in the driver's seat momentarily, before peeling out and heading to Patti's. And all the way there cursed and mumbled about your temporary boss as you drove.

You parked up and headed in, still grumbling, and Patti smiled at you.

“Y/N, Mr B not with you?”

“Not today, no.” You smiled at her as your stomach gave a huge grumble.

"You want your usual, honey?" Patti asked.

"No, I'll start with the cheesecake and take a menu, please."

“Bad day, huh?” She laughed, “take a seat at the counter, you can talk to me whilst I work.”

You smiled at the sweet old woman who'd become a good and close friend to you and Andy over the years. With a nod, you found an empty seat at the corner of the counter and perused the menu. It wasn't like you didn’t know it from cover to cover already, but you were so indecisive that you needed a gander.

Patti dropped the cold slice of cheesecake in front of you and you practically drooled out of your mouth. The warm blueberry compote sat off to the side as you usually preferred to dip your bites in it but this time, you dumped the whole little ramekin over the delicious and rich treat.

"I think I want the patty melt on the marble rye with onion rings and blue cheese." You ordered. "And a soda water with lime!"

Patti chuckled, "that all, honey?"

You nodded. You didn't even particularly like blue cheese dressing, you were a ranch kind of girl, and the only blue cheese you typically preferred was the crumbles in your charcuterie or in your walnut salad. But it spoke to you today, so that was what you were having.

You made small talk with Patti in between her serving other patrons and sorting your order. And when she placed in in front of you, you noticed there were far more onion rings on the side than in a usual portion.

"Thanks, Patti." You sighed.

“You look fed up, my dear.”

"You know, I don't know. We have this temp that's taking Eva's spot, she came highly recommended and now I'm starting to see why." You rolled your eyes heavily.

“Boobs?” Pattie arched a brow and you snorted, almost choking on the onion ring you’d just taken a bite of.

"Big bolt ons. And definitely fillers in her lips and cheeks. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if her ass was fake."

“You can buy fake asses?” Patti looked at you, “damned I’m outta the loop.”

"You can buy anything these days," you shrugged, tucking into your hot melt with the grilled onions and fresh rye bread.

“Not happiness, sweetie.” The older lady said wisely, “can have all the money or fake boobs in the world, won’t make you happy unless you wanna be.”

As you pondered her words, for the first time in ages your mind flicked to Ransom. He was a prime example of what she was saying, he had more money than he knew what to do with and he'd been an inherently unhappy, albeit sadistic and evil, bastard.

Exhaling loudly, you reached for the glass on the counter. "Amen to that," you sipped your soda.

"How's Mr. B?"

“Andy’s Andy.” You gave her a raise of your brow, “working hard but he’s good.”

"Should pack up some lunch for him? Maybe that club sandwich he's been turned onto lately, with the potato salad?" Patti offered.

"Nope, he's got other plans, I'm sure he'll figure it out." You could help but lace a little irritation into your words.

"Alright," she smiled softly. "I've got to check on some tables, holler if you need anything."

You’d finished your meal by the time she came back. You asked her to box some of that cheesecake up for a mid-afternoon snack and once you’d paid and left your usual tip, you headed back to the office. After you deposited your cheesecake in the fridge, you topped up your mug of coffee and made your way to your desk.

“You’re ten minutes over your allotted time.” Mandy called to you as you passed her open office door.

You grit your teeth, “knock it off the extra hour I worked when I got home last night.”

"Is that allowed?"

"I'm salary, it shouldn't be of concern."

“Look, Y/N, I know you were in the running to take over from Eva, and this must piss you off they gave the job to someone else, but-“

“I was…who told you that?” You raised your brow as you looked at her.

"No one, I figured it out.” She smugly popped a shoulder.

"For your information, I did get overlooked, I turned it down. Andy and I just got married last month and we had a lot to plan. It didn’t seem like the right time, Amanda."

“Right,” she looked at you a little sceptically, before she stood up and smoothed down her dress, “either way, you’re extremely hostile towards me. It’s not productive for a healthy working relationship.”

You licked your teeth behind your upper lip, and clenched your jaw. "Sorry you feel that way. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have work to do."

You headed back to your desk and flopped into your chair with a groan. Amber looked over at you and gave you a little smirk. You rolled your eyes before you unlocked your computer and opened your emails.

You were engrossed in responding to one regarding a potential law student coming to shadow one of the partners for a day, when Andy poked his head into your office.

“Honey?”

"Yep?" You didn't even look up.

“You wanna grab a coffee?”

"Just topped off," you continued to type. “And besides, I was ten minutes late back from lunch, and that’s an issue. Apparently.”

"Oh Angel," he softly chuckled.

“What?” You looked up at him.

"You're fiesty today, honey. I like it." He leaned on your desk. "C'mon, I want to take my wife down for some coffee in the break room. If Amanda has anything to say about it, she can speak to me."

“Oh I’m sure she’d love that.”

"Okay, I'm not getting anywhere with this, I see." Andy sighed, "Can I at least get you a snack?"

“I got cheesecake in the fridge from Patti’s, no thanks.”

“You went to Patti’s?”

"Yep." You sent your email and sighed, sitting back.

Andy took a deep breath, before he perched on the edge of your desk. “What’s goin’ on?”

"Nothing. I just don't..." You gave a sigh. "I..." You stopped. "I don't like her, she's very in your business." You emphasized the 'your' in reference to him.

“She’s…certainly in your face, I’ll give you that,” Andy smirked at little, his eyes crinkling at the side. But you failed to find the humour, because really, was there any?

"Andy.... I just need to finish this, okay? I'll see you later."

Andy took a deep breath. “Alright, but do me a favor, huh?”

"What?"

“Leave that attitude in here when you come home tonight,” He arched his brow as he stood up off your desk.

You glared, "Sure."

With a final sigh and roll of his eyes he left, not bothering to look back.

You outright growled as you looked back at your screen and then glanced at Amber who was politely glancing down at her work.

A snide sound came by your desk. "Trouble in newlywed paradise?"

“Fuck off,” the words fell from your mouth before you could stop them.

"I think you should the rest of the day, work from home. We'll discuss your outburst and behavior tomorrow." Mandy folded her arms.

“You know what, no, we won’t. Because I won’t be back tomorrow. I’m done,” you spat as your stood up and slammed your laptop shut.

You grabbed your things and headed for the elevator. The absolute audacity of this woman. You had half a mind to call Eva, or march up to Ron's office and say something. Instead, you stormed straight for your car, throwing your bags into the back before you drove home, angry tears pricking your eyes.

You assumed Amber had called up to Andy's office or gone to see him as he was calling you as you pulled right into the garage of your condo. You ignored his call and stormed in, foregoing even taking your bag in. But your anger ebbed away as your baby boy came bounding to meet you, his tail wagging, little whimpers escaping his mouth.

“I’m sorry, Grant, I hate leaving you but the wicked witch of the west is allergic to dogs so you can’t come anymore,” you fussed him as you let him out to go do his business, “kinda ironic seeing as she’s a massive bitch.” You grumbled as you closed the door. You kicked off your shoes then checked the note from the dog walker who said she’d been in and done three miles before giving Grant a treat and settling him back down. You cracked your neck from side to side, let Grant back in and then headed upstairs to change.

You were generously willing to skip editing the brief you had to work on and finish your emails however, given there was a press release due and case inquiries to finish and forward to case management, you changed into your comfies and retreated back to the Jeep in the garage for your work bag.

You settled yourself at the breakfast bar in the kitchen, a large mug of camomile tea by your side, Grant playing with one of his squeaky toys as he sprawled on the couch. Not even an hour into your work and a second cup of tea, Andy came barrelling in to the kitchen through the garage side door.

“What the hell, Y/N?” He blurred out before he’d even shut the door behind him, “I had Amanda in the office before, with Ron, telling us you told her to fuck off and then stormed out?”

"Sure as shit did, and I don't care."

“Jesus Christ what has gotten into you today?” He shrugged off his jacket and tossed it over the chair next to you, before pulling his tie loose with an angry tug.

"You, Amanda... work," you shouted. "Don't think I don't catch her little comments or the way she looks at you over her stupid fake prescription glasses and those bolt on tits that come through the door hours before her head does." You stood with fervour.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Andy frowned, his palm resting on the surface of the counter by your computer.

You snorted, cleared your throat and put on a fake, airey voice. "Oh Andy, you're so funny..." You touched his bicep. "I'll have that report to you first thing. Anything you need, Andy, anything you need Ron."

“That’s what this is about? Some bimbo flirting with me? For fucks sake, Y/N, we’re married!”

"You think I don't realize that, Andrew? And she as shit does but she doesn’t care. And I'm sorry, but I sorta don't see you doing anything to stop it. You nor Ron.”

“Because I didn’t think it’s a big deal!” Andy shook his head giving a frustrated laugh, “people flirt, I’ve seen guys do it with you. That damned waiter in the restaurant on our last night of our honeymoon was blatantly doing his best to get you to smile at him, but you know what? I don’t care! I trust you, I’m secure enough in our relationship to know that it doesn’t matter, because you come home to me!”

"Oh, you think I don't trust you? Jesus Christ, seriously? You're the only fucking person I do trust."

“I never said that.” Andy shook his head. “I’m just trying to understand why she in particular has got you so bent out of shape. Honey, this isn’t like you!”

You breathed fiercely through your nose. The truth of it was, you didn't know. It had to be fierce PMS. Since coming off your birth control before your wedding, you were all over the place in terms of mood and energy. You knew it was due to that and your busy work schedule. It had nothing to Andy, or even Amanda, Mandy or whatever the hell she wanted to be called.

“Honey, talk to me.”

You felt the emotions bubble.

“Oh, Angel…” Andy sighed when he saw your face crumple, “c’mere.”

You cried into his shoulder as his big, broad arms and chest wrapped around you. Your make up smearing over his white shirt. His wide hand carded through your hair.

He softly rocked you to and fro, his lips pressing to your temple. “Shhh, come on. It’s okay. Whatever it is we can work it out.”

"I don't know what it is. This is just... She's awful and it's so childish to even admit. I want to tell Eva but I'm not bothering her with this. I don't want to go to Ron and it's hardly fair I tell you, professionally, that is."

“You can tell me anything,” he shook his head, “professionally, personally or otherwise. Don’t think that.”

You took a deep breath and stilled yourself. "I'm sorry, Jesus Christ, how embarrassing. I have never felt like this, well since…she just makes me feel like shit."

Andy lightly chuckled with a sigh, "It's barely been a month, honey. She's here for at least two more."

“Can I take a sabbatical?”

Andy laughed as he stepped back and cupped your cheeks, “what is it about her, bar the tits and teeth and her tactile nature that grinds your gears?”

You snorted, “grinds my gears, you sound like my dad!”

"Well, he's nearly as old as I."

“Shut up.”

He flicked a brow. “So? You gonna tell me?”

“She’s lazy, she sits in that office all day making calls and filing her nails. Me and Amber have been keeping it all afloat, I might have well taken the job up to cover for Eva after all. I've been checking all the work and stuff before it comes up to the partners. She doesn’t even read it on her desk, but she’s happy to take the plaudits. Although, I guarantee she would be just as happy to throw me under the bus if it was wrong. And she touches things that don’t belong to her.”

Andy understood that reference. He gave a little chuckle and cupped your face. "Oh Angel. I love you."

“I wasn’t just talking about you,” you pouted slightly, “she steals my coffee.”

“Not the specialty roast from Patti!”

“Yup.”

“What a bitch.” Andy shook his head dramatically

Then it occurred to you, "God damn it I forgot my fucking cheesecake."

“Yeah, she’s probably eaten that too.”

“Andy!”

"I'm serious, honey." He chuckled. "Look, why don't you go run a bath, I'll pick us up some dinner from that dumpling house that just opened and be back. And I'll bring you back a cheesecake for the rest of the week."

“I want some tonight.”

"Clearly, but I meant a whole one for us. I'm going to tell Ron I'm working from home, a come down from the trial, and you're going to take a sick day. We're going to watch trash tv and lounge on the couch."

"I have so much work to do."

"And you have a boss who can and should be doing it for you." Andy arched a brow, “and she’ll have to if you’re not there. Let her drown for the day, show herself up.”

"Anyone tell you that you can be exceptionally sneaky at times?”

He squinted as if thinking about it, "a time or two," he smirked.

“I love it,” you grinned, “okay, I’ll go take a bath. Oh, can you ask Pattie to put plenty of the compote on it?”

At that he frowned, “really? You normally take it on the side, you always say too much makes it too sweet?”

“Yeah, but I had it all at lunch and it was so good.”

He chuckled, "Alright, Angel, compote, got it."

After finally giving Grant the attention he was waiting for the minute Andy came home, he left to get dinner and you headed up for a bath, a chilled white wine in your hand. You filled the tub with oils and bubbles and slipped in with the daylight slowly creeping away. It was near summer and the Colorado spring was beautiful outside your bathroom window.

You made a mental note to tell Andy that when you found your dream home, you wanted a tub with a view. Maybe you could start looking tomorrow, use your “sick of tits and teeth” day to start checking out the realtor websites.

You smirked and nodded at yourself, yep, that sounded good.

********************

Andy was highly amused by the events of the early evening as he left the dumpling place and headed for Patti's. He'd never seen you like that before. Sure, there were times of heightened emotions lately but good God today had been chaos. He understood you were under a heavy workload but he hadn't realized it was so much so as both he and the partners assumed Amanda was doing the job Eva brought her in for.

He didn’t like seeing you upset or put on, but he couldn’t help but chuckle a little at the way your anger had manifested. Telling your temporary boss to ‘fuck off’ was a pretty good way of making your feelings known.

With that in mind, he’d called Ron on his way to collect dinner and explained what had gone down. His boss has groaned and simply ranted on about this being the reason he wanted you to take the role in the first place. And Andy was inclined to agree, however you’d both had that discussion and whilst Eva’s official maternity leave was only planned to be four months, she had a full three others to take at half pay if she so required. And then it was likely she would come back part time to start with. With that in mind, given that you were trying for a family of your own, you’d both decided it would be best to bring someone else in.

Ron apologized for not catching things quicker and vowed to be more vigilant. Then he wondered if you and Andy were still coming up for dinner on Saturday and Andy affirmed you were and no doubt you and Giselle would have plenty to gossip about given the events of the week. Ron laughed and at that, he'd ended the call with a promise to sort it out.

Andy headed into Patti's and stood at the counter, waiting for someone to come help when the woman herself poked her head out of the back room and came to his assistance.

“Mr Barber, I’m surprised to see you here,” she chuckled.

“Andy, Patti, come on!” He chuckled.

The woman chuckled, "What can I get for you, Andy?"

“Just a cheesecake, Y/N left hers in the office and she’s hankering for some more. Plus I didn’t get any today either.”

Patti laughed, “you know, I’m surprised that wife of yours has any room for food after what she ate at lunch.”

"What do you mean?"

"She chowed down on a slice before lunch, then had a patty melt and onion rings with blue cheese dressing." Patti laugh, "and she skipped the Coke and went for a soda water. Heck, even dumped her blueberries all over her slice. She must not be feeling well. Sweet girl."

Andy let out a chuckle, “she had a bad morning, clearly felt like a blow out.”

"I'll say! I was jealous she put it away like she did, lovely figure like that." Patti laughed. "Tell you what, tonight it's on the house. I'll go get it and box it up."

“No, Patti that’s-“

“Hush, I insist, I owe you.”

“What for?”

“Well, you know that nice man I was talking to at your wedding?”

“Dave? Our office maintenance guy?”

“Yup, well, he’s taking me to dinner tomorrow.”

“You sly, little minx!” Andy grinned.

"I'm in my sixties, Andy, this bag of bones can't hold out much longer."

“Oh hush, you’re fitter than me. And I bet there’s plenty of life left in ya,” He winked as she swatted at him with her dishcloth.

"You offering?" She joked. "I can put ya over my knee there, son."

“Don’t tempt me with a good time.”

With a laugh, Patti pulled a cake from the case and began boxing it up.

"Oh, special request, can you put the compote on top this time?" Andy caught her before Patti closed it up entirely.

“Yup, I’ll give you some extra, I’m at the end of today’s pot so you can take it home, it’ll keep on the fridge for a day or so.”

“Thanks, oh, and also… can I get a bag of your blonde roast?”

"Sure thing, still not paying me though."

“Fine, guess I’ll just…” Andy fished a twenty out of his wallet and folded it up, “leave this here.” He slotted it into the tops jar with his trademark smirk.

"Sly little brat," Patti scoffed, sliding the pink bakery box and coffee on top over to him.

“That’s the second time I’ve been called sneaky today,” Andy laughed, “thanks Patti.”

"Night, Andy."

“Night.” He winked and picked the box abs coffee up, heading to the door. He opened it and paused, turning back. “Oh, and take it easy on Dave. He’s got a bad back…”

A damp dishtowel hit his back as he slipped out of the doors, his loud laughter ringing out against the bell as it opened. He headed to the car, his chuckles still rumbling his chest as he walked, before he let out a sigh.

Dinner and after sorted, plus a replenishment for your stolen coffee had to make you feel better, surely.

He placed the box on the roof of his Audi as he opened the door, before he shook his head. This was typical of you, not wanting to trouble him with worries or stresses, even if they were bad enough to make you want to storm out at lunch and emotional eat.

But the heightened sensitivity was something that tossed his mind a bit. You weren't quick to react, and normally pretty complacent to the office women. Mind you, he supposed it was to be expected, being a little moody and down, especially after the excitement of your wedding and honeymoon. Two glorious weeks in Puerto Rico has ended with a bump when you’d both had to come home.

He recalled the last night with fondness. You’d had a lovely meal, walked back along the beach, sat up drinking and then been drunk enough to order a huge plate of ribs and chicken wings to the room. And of course, the usual argument about blue cheese dressing and ranch has ensued.

He frowned a little, yeah the blue cheese thing was a little odd. You’d vehemently refused it the entire time he’d known you.

With a click of his tongue, he closed his car door and pulled out of the spot. He stopped at a red light on the corner of the high street, his mind straying to the little row of shops opposite. His eye caught the lit advertisement in the window of the children's boutique.

'Stork Sale! 25% off all newborn clothing and essentials!'

And then, just like that, the dots in Andy’s mind joined.

Mood swings, increased appetite, the naps you’d suddenly started taking after work and at weekend, odd food that you’d normally never want. And, to top it off, as he worked through it methodically, you hadn’t had your cycle for a month; he knew that from the fact there had been no usual four or five day break in your sex life. Or the usual few days before hand where you would huddle on the couch in your comfies with a heat pack.

Fuck, were you pregnant?

A car horn sounded behind him and with a curse, he realised the light was green. With an apologetic wave, he set off and drove round the corner, before hankering a sharp left then, ignoring the angry hand gesture that came at his lack of signal.

“Oh, Angel…” he mumbled to himself, the butterflies in his stomach fluttering away as he drove quickly down his revised route.

A childlike grin spread his lips wide and he knew there was just one final stop he had to make, just to be sure.

******

When he got home, you had set the table and poured the wine, waiting for him in a little cami and short set he liked from your honeymoon.

“You were a little longer than I thought.” You smiled at him as he set the familiar link box down on the table, a chuckle escaping you at the sight of the coffee.

"Got caught up."

"I can see," you kissed him softly, hugging the bag to your chest. "Thank you, BB."

"You feel better after your bath?" He wondered, rubbing his hands up and down your bare arms.

“Yeah. I’m sorry, I’ll apologise to Double T when I go back.”

Andy laughed at your coined nickname, “I told Ron we wouldn’t be in. He’s gonna tell Amber and if Mandy asks, it’s a simple none of her business.”

“So, I assume you got caught up talking to Patti?”

“Oh Patti told me a few interesting things. Did you know Maintenance Dave is taking her on a date tomorrow?”

"No shit?"

He chuckled, “she threw a dishcloth at me when I told her to watch his back.”

“Andy!” You laughed as you started to unpack your dinner from the bag. “So, what else? You said a few interesting things.”

"Well I heard all about your lunch," he smirked. "Have you switched dressings on me, honey? You hate blue cheese dressing."

“Yeah that was a little strange but, it tasted good. Maybe I’ve been a little harsh on it.”

At that he laughed, "oh Angel."

"What?" You smirked.

He pulled something from his jacket pocket, "Humor me."

You looked down at the Clear Blue box in his hand and snorted. "No."

“Honey, you came off your pill two weeks before our wedding. That was six weeks ago.” He gave you a significant look as he held out the box.

You stuttered for a moment, incoherently babbling.

“Now I know that you ain’t been sat on the couch, eating chocolate and complaining of cramps since then.”

“Yeah, but… my cycles are gonna be out, my body’s getting used to coming off birth control.”

“Maybe,” he popped a shoulder, “and I could be way off so… do that and then if I am wrong you can come down, call me an idiot and then I’ll let you drink the rest of that wine.”

You glanced down at the box and chewed on the inside of your lip. Then you smirked and smiled, snatching the box from his hands and heading for the bathroom near the garage.

Andy watched you go and busied himself setting out the rest of your dinner before he heard the toilet flush and you came back out.

“Okay, I peed on the stick…” you rolled your eyes as you set it down on the counter top on top of a piece of kitchen roll.

“Clever girl…”

“Oh, fuck off!” You slapped his arm as he laughed, before you reached for a dumpling. You dipped it into one of the pots of sticky soy and hoisin dips before shoving it in your mouth. “God that’s good, I’m so hungry.”

“Eating for two will do that to you."

"Andy," you hushed him. You didn’t want to get your hopes up.

He chuckled as you grabbed another dumpling and shoved it into your mouth.

“Do you really think I am? Already?” You whispered.

"I'd be a little surprised if you weren't."

You bit your lip, “I guess… I mean, we had a lot of sex on our honeymoon so…”

"And after...."

“And after.” You nodded, giggling at the smirk on his face.

The timer he'd set on his phone chirped. It had been the longest yet fastest three minutes of your life and his.

You took a deep breath and turned back, glancing down at the test. Andy watched as you read the result and then without a word you turned, walked past him and grabbed your wine.

“Shit, Angel, look… it doesn’t matter, I’m sorry, I was just so sure-“

“Man, I’m gonna miss you…” You inhaled a deep smell of the wine, and closed your eyes before you opened them, a smile spreading across your face as Andy suddenly registered what you said.

"No, wait, yes? Really?"

“Yeah, really. You were right… I’m… we’re having a baby, Andy.”

"Oh honey, Jesus fahk, I love you so fahking much, Angel." He pulled you close and cried.

You chuckled a little as his arms held you, your own eyes stinging with emotion. “Andy…”

"Yeah, honey?" He pulled back and looked at you, his eyes swimming, so much unsaid in them.

You gently reached up and cupped his face in your hands, fingers tangling in his beard. “I love you, and… I just wanna make sure you’re a hundred percent okay with this. If you’re not and you wanna talk about it, or need some time to… well, to visit Jake, I get it.”

"Oh Y/N," he sputtered, "I want this, oh baby girl, I want this so bad," he nearly sobbed.

Your own tears slipped down your face as he pressed his forehead to yours, “good, me too… I can’t… I mean I thought we’d be trying for a little while at least but…”

"But nothing, we're... Oh fahk, I, we..."

“I know!”

You couldn't even begin to imagine what was going on in his head. You wouldn't even try.

Then, his lips pressed to yours in a deep kiss, your hands still pressed to his cheeks.

“We should eat,” you whispered as he pulled away, his hands taking yours. He pressed a kiss to your wrist.

“Yeah, yeah… dinner.” He nodded, taking a deep breath. “Better feed your both, huh?”

You smiled at him, "and cheesecake?"

“Baby, you can have all the cheesecake you want.”

Reluctantly, Andy let you out of his hold and the pair of you settled down at the table. Andy swapped your wine out for a sparkling water as you both tucked in, both of you now buzzing and shining with your new found knowledge.

It felt different. And how could it not? You were both ecstatic that a mere month post your marriage here you were, already about to start your family.

The pair of you giggled through dinner, Andy constantly touching you in some way or another, often falling quiet as he merely looked at you with a soft expression on his face.

After dinner, the trash was quickly discarded and Grant let out into the yard while Andy fed him. He stood there, lost in his own thoughts about that teeny little life that was currently residing within you, and he felt his heart jump in his chest.

He found himself thinking back to when Laurie had discovered she was pregnant. Unlike this, that had certainly not been planned. A happy surprise, they’d both called it, not an accident. He remembered that feeling of excitement but also absolute terror at the prospect of becoming a father. He was barely out of law school, temping at a local lawyer’s office in hope of getting a break. They’d been living in a small one bed apartment too, in the North End of Boston, completely unprepared. But fuck, it had been worth it, and all his worries had faded the minute he’d held Jake in his arms for the first time.

And, despite everything, he wouldn’t change a single second he’d had with his son.

When he’d left Boston behind, he’d never dreamed he’d meet someone else and get another chance to be a father, and then you’d walked into his life. And here you both were. He was older now, and wiser (he hoped). Financially secure. It was different but every bit as amazing.

And still, scary as hell.

This was his second chance at a moment he never thought to have and he'd be damned if he didn't make a silent promise to you and a vow to himself that he wouldn't fail this time.

“BB?” Your voice broke him from his reverie and he smiled as your arms slipped round him from behind, curling up over his shoulders.

"Yeah?" He whispered, reaching over and wrapping his arm around your neck and head.

“Why don’t you go shower and change? You’re still in your office stuff.”

"Uh, yeah," he said softly.

"Where did you go, BB?"

He took a deep breath, “I was just, thinking about when Laurie found out she was pregnant. I’m sorry, I just…”

"Oh, Andy, it's okay, I mean I... Look at me," she turned him around gently. "I expect you to think about it. I mean this is bigger news for you than it is for me, and I want to respect that."

“It just made me think, you know. How different the circumstances are but how I kinda feel the same. Bar the shock of course because we’ve been trying but… the rest. Excitement, being shit scared… but fuck, honey, I’m so damned happy.”

"I'm happy too, Andy, more than anything. I didn't expect it. Really, I didn't."

“I won’t lie, it’s caught me a little unaware at how fast but,” he chuckled, “there’s a well known saying about not doing the crime if you can’t do the time, so to speak.”

"Andy...”

“Yeah?”

"We're gonna be parents. Like it's not hit yet, really but..." You started to tear up again. "When I was... he wouldn't, he didn't and then I never thought it possible, the scars and I don't... I didn't. Here we are."

“Hey, hey, look at me.” He smiled gently, hands cupping your face. “You did. And you’re right, here we are.”

You took a moment in the stillness to look at him. His bright blue eyes so soft and gentle, piercing the deepest depths of your soul. He held the key to your darkest corners and your brightest days. The tinge of wonderment he held behind unshed tears made you smile softly as you kept his gaze. Your chest was tight and your heart was pounding, your stomach in the happiest of knots. Your hands covered the non-existent bump that soon would swell your belly, big and round. You parted your lips just so a shuttering breath could escape and you whispered, "kiss me, Counsellor."

Without a word, he leaned down and pressed his lips to yours, his kiss tender yet flooded with love and emotion. Your hands slid up his chest, making their way round his neck as his own splayed over your back, holding you to him.”

"Take me to bed, Andy."

His nose bumped yours and he smiled, before he reached up behind his head. His fingers finding yours, he took your hand and with a gentle call to Grant, he led you up the stairs.

Your now fairly well trained pup bounced into his bed in the corner of the room and Andy took a moment to call him a good boy as he settled, before his attention turned back to you.

"I love you, baby," he bent his neck to kiss you, then he fell to his knees, lifting your cami and hooking your shorts down with his first finger. "And I love you, Baby Barber, so damn much." His words were laced with tears as he pressed those bearded lips to your smooth skin.

“BB junior,” you chuckled as your hands gently slid into that day messed floofy hair that was sporting the odd strand of grey throughout.

At that, his hands curled around the waistband of your bottoms and panties and gently pulled them down your legs. You stepped out of them the second they hit the floor. That bearded face watched your own expressions as Andy dragged his whiskers along your smooth inner thigh.

Your lips parted as you took a soft inhale of breath, your eyelashes fluttering against your cheeks as you sighed, your fingers tightening slightly in his hair

"Imma kiss you, Angel," he rasped as he drew close to your slit. You were highly aroused and now you knew why. The source of your moods and heightened sex drive, the explanation of your body sensitivity and why the sex since your wedding night had been just that damn good, not that it wasn't exceptional before.

“Please,” you whispered, a shiver running through your entire body as you watched him. His broad shoulders rippled beneath his white shirt, which was crumpled from the days wear, still tucked into his navy suit slacks, office shoes still on his feet.

"So fahking pretty, honey." He looked up at you and bit that plump bottom lip of his. He teased you with his finger, a thumb pressing into your swollen clit and your legs shook before he'd even gotten started.

With gentle hands that curved around your thighs to your ass, he hiked your left leg over his should and steadied you with his hands against your cheeks as he took to you.

Slow at first, testing your nectar like a butterfly at feeding then he sped forward, increasing the flicks and licks of his tongue like a humming birds wing beat. Your hands curled into his hair as you balanced against him, your head tipping back just so at the pleasure.

Your soft moans mingled with his own little hums of satisfaction as his beard scratched at your sensitive inner thighs. His mouth was soft, warm; it was a contrast that drove you wild.

You must have done something right or tasted something sweet, for every few minutes on deep breaths of air, Andy hummed into you, vibrating your heat and you would whimper.

With gentle fingers, he slid one inside then a second, "oh Angel, you're fahking soaked. So good, honey. You taste so fahking good. I wanna fuck you so bad, baby. So soft and bad."

“I want you to,” you managed to gasp, “please, Andy, need you.”

"Get on the bed, Angel," he choked out, undoing that button down and his slacks.

You did as told, shuffling up and settling yourself back against your pillows as Andy stripped down. His clothes in a heap on the floor by his feet, he crawled up the middle of the bed, settling himself between your legs. He waited a second for you to slip from your cami and toss it aside. His lips were quickly on yours in a deep, languid kiss that made your toes curl as he used one arm to balance, the other hand cupped your face, fingers in your hair at the back of your head. You gently took hold of him and he gasped.

His lips parted, mouth brushing yours as your foreheads pressed together. With a gentle twist of your wrist, you moved your palm up and down his shaft and he gave a choked grunt which caused you to smirk

"You like that, baby?"

“Yeah, fahk…” he groaned as you carried on, your eyes watching his face

"Oh baby," you whispered. "Please, Andy."

You used your hand to guide him to where you wanted him, needed him. As you felt his head brush your folds, you tilted your hips up and with a slow thrust forward, he slid home.

"Oh fahk," you both drawled loudly. His a groan, yours a whimper.

Andy stilled a moment before you again gave a tilt and he took that as his sign to go. He rolled his hips, slow and tenderly, his lips on yours and then your neck, down the hollow of your throat and your sensitive nipples. His hands held yours at your head, gently, lovingly.

It was slow, intimate, the pair of you clinging to one another as Andy kept his languid pace steady.

"My baby mama," he whispered at your ear.

“Oh, fahk…” you spluttered, your voice catching in your throat.

"I'm close," he purred.

“Me…me too…keep talking, Andy, please.”

"Gonna take care of you, take care of our baby," he moaned, "oh Angel, our baby, you're having my baby, honey."

“Andy, oh, Andy… I’m gonna… fuck…” you came with a loud cry, your body trembling beneath his as your legs went stiff, your back arched.

"Yeah, honey," he groaned, increasing his thrusts just a little to chase his end.

By the time you’d regained some vague sense of yourself, Andy’s face was buried into the side of your neck, his breathing deep as he’d reached his own end, triggered by the feel of you pulsing around him.

"Oh beautiful, so beautiful, honey." He spoke into your hair. "I fahking love you so much, Angel." His lips kissed into your skin. And then you heard him give a sob, "Thank you, thank you, thank you."

The realization, you felt, that you were pregnant with his child had finally hit him.

“Oh, Andy.” Your voice cracked as you turned your head to face his. “Baby, look at me.”

That softly crumpled face peered back at you.

“I love you, so much, Andrew Steven Barber.”

He nodded and kissed you, "I love you, Y/F/N Y/M/N Barber. More than you'll ever know."

“Good job, because you’re stuck with me,” you nudged his nose with yours, and then gently took his hand and pressed it to your belly, just above the point where you were both still joined. “With both of us.”

He sputtered a smile, "I'm okay with that."

*****

Chapter 22

[sukirichi]

dutifully yours. [01]

Attached to the could’ve been’s of a promised happily ever after with the Crown Prince disguised under a scheme for power and greed, you are torn between choosing your happiness — or abandoning it to fulfill your duty as the future Queen.

→ unedited bcos i’m brave lazy. implied patriarchy. angst in future chapters. pure romance and fluff for now. royalty au. eventual smut. prince naoya !! i love him sm i could cry. this fic will break me, okay. naoya is close to canon but with my twist if that makes sense. drama in future chapters. oh and listen to this while reading <3

→ massive shoutout to my besties for always hyping me and helping me uwu, i present this token of prince naoya being an ideal husband okay cry cry i love him sm im crying. anyways pls enjoy bcos i poured my heart out to this and bcos i want more people in the naoya fucker club :>

one | next (to be posted)

Ever since the day your mother taught you how to read, you’ve had your nose buried in a book. Losing yourself in different worlds, swooning over fictional princes, and fantasizing for a love story ripped out of fairytale itself with such burning, passionate romance – you’d been through it all, dreamt of it all. And yet, you struggled to stop yourself from tugging at your dress.

The tight corset hadn’t even been the main focus of your worries, and neither was the heavy rivière resting on your collarbones.

“Would you stop fidgeting?” Beside you, your mother pursed her lips, fingers decorated with jewels stopping in their movements of fanning herself. The temperature hadn’t been particularly high inside the limousine that evening. You supposed it was the mere sight of you tugging and gulping audibly every now and then, gloved hands running over the hems of your collar.

You ducked your head down. “Sorry, Mother. I can’t help it.”

“Dear, your anxiety is written all over your face,” she sighed, turning your face to her as she cupped your cheeks. Smiling tenderly like a mother always did, your heart felt soothed even by the slightest bit. You wished she could keep holding you like this – like you were a fragile flower she was afraid of breaking; a fragile flower that needed more care handled than most. Tonight, however, you felt a hundred years older. Like you’d accidentally clicked on fast forward and got launched to the future. A future that seemed so unclear yet so...perfect. So right.

“How would the Prince fancy you if you’re sweating bullets like that? It’s not a good look for a marquess’ daughter.”

At the mention of the Crown Prince, your heart sank again. “My apologies, Mother. I’m just rather nervous. It’s the Crown Prince we’re talking about here.”

“He is quite the looker, isn’t he?” she giggled behind her fan, “Strong and handsome, as well.”

“My ladies. You are not fantasizing over the Crown Prince in my presence, are you?”

Crossing her leg over the other, your mother leaned forwards, elbows on her knees as she winked at your father. The marquess had his torso half twisted from the passenger seat, glaring playfully at your mother’s unabashed features. “It is of no seriousness, My Lord. I’m simply easing your daughter’s nerves.”

Your father sighed in worry. “What’s got you so worked up, child? You are beautiful. The Prince would be blind to not notice you.”

Each fibre in your body screamed in desperation for your father to be right. Tonight was not just any other night – the entire Kingdom, including noblewomen, foreign royals, and unwed daughters from honourable families had been invited to the Zen’in Castle for one purpose only: to find his Crown Prince a suitable wife, one that would be fit to be the next Queen as well. As the daughter of the marquess, you’d naturally received the invitation. It felt just like yesterday when the mail arrived and you’d cheered so much in joy the chickens went flying out of their coops, your horses galloping and whinnying at surprise, and now you here – minutes away from the palace where you were soon to be deemed worthy or unworthy to be beside His Highness.

With a shaky smile, you dug your nails into your thighs. “Well, we’ve only met once, Father. I doubt the Prince would remember me.”

“Just smile, darling. You will do great.”

To no one’s surprise, the Zen’in Castle brimmed with people and esteemed guests. Men and women danced with one another as muted chatters and chuckles blended in with the grand royal orchestra, everyone dressed to the nines and making you feel completely out of place.

The moment you’d been welcomed by the knights and led to the palace doors, your dress began to feel tighter than usual, your ribs clenching uncomfortably from the pressure. Your hands had not stopped trembling either, not even when you hid it behind your back and nodded at the people passing by. There were governor-generals, dukes, earls, professors and royal advisors and even families of the royal family’s inner circle of knights. Everyone looked like they belonged here. Chatting amongst one another over the finest of wines or discussing conspiracies on where the Kingdom of Zen’in would be in the next sixty years of the future King’s reign, no one here seemed to be out of place.

Everyone except you.

A warm hand was suddenly placed on the small of your back, making you gasp. Your mother’s smile was nothing short of warm as she held you close to her one last time, leaving a kiss on your forehead. You didn’t even realize how much you shook until she clasped her hands with yours. “Calm down, dear,” she reminded, “You’ll be on your own now. This is where we leave you since we’re not supposed to mingle with potential princesses.”

“Mother!” Your eyes widened in embarrassment. Looking around frantically, you bit your lip in fear someone must’ve heard.

Of course, while it would be no surprise most guests – if not all – hoped that their daughter would be the Crown Prince’s chosen fiancée, it still felt wrong to boldly assume such when you could barely keep up with the events of tonight.

However, your mother merely laughed. “I am proud of you, dear. Never forget that. It doesn’t matter whether you are chosen or not. We’re only here for formality and respect to the King and Queen’s demands.”

“You say that as if the Crown Prince really would not bother with me.”

“We didn’t mean that,” your father cut in, a flute of champagne already nested between his calloused fingers. Ever since you arrived, he’d been snatched away by fellow earls and barons, disappearing into the crowd for a ‘hearty conversation over one’s lands.’ You knew better than that, though. That statement always translated to which leader got to have more chances to wine and dine with the King, to which your family was ridiculously reminded of that you’d been stationed to the most faraway land where even hearing news from the royal papers was but a privilege.

“Just be yourself, alright? And enjoy the party. It’s about time you met with girls your own age and made some friends.”

“I – Father, wait!”

A slender young woman slithered to your side out of nowhere, her golden brown eyes following the silhouettes of your parents. It wasn’t long before they completely disappeared. Left alone with the stunning woman that was – for some reason – dressed in a plain black curve hugging dress too modest for tonight’s appropriateness, you took three steps away in caution. “You must be from way up North,” she noted, her head to the tipped to the side. “I don’t think I’ve seen you here before.”

God, was she beautiful. Long, thick eyelashes and short hair chopped in messy yet elegant curves, you struggled to hold her gaze. “Oh, yes, I come from the Terratian Borders. My family is stationed there under His Majesty’s orders.”

She hummed to herself. “The Terratian Borders are mostly forests and fields, no? The last time my family and I visited there, I came across the loveliest dandelions I’ve ever laid eyes on. Shame they died on the way back,” offering her hand – again, bare and empty with decorations yet still littered with faint scars and cuts – she beamed at you. “I’m Mai, by the way. Mai Zen’in.”

Zen’in?

Hands cupping your mouth, you bowed deep until your back ached. “Lady Mai!” you shut your eyes closed, unable to live with the shame. Mai Zen’in; one of the iconic twin pair from the extended Zen’in royal family, both a fashion icon and a legend for being a rumoured female knight. To have her in your presence was an honour. “My apologies for not recognizing you any sooner, Lady Mai!”

“Stand up, I’m not a royal,” she sniggered, “We’re just relatives of the actual monarch, but don’t let the family name fool you. The Crown Prince barely even acknowledges us being of the same blood.”

Albeit hesitant, you followed her gestures of making you stand up. You straightened your back and cleared your throat, fighting the urge to go haywire the moment his name was brought into the conversation. Not only would you be seeing Prince Naoya again in real life for the first time in years, but you’d also made acquaintances with his distant niece. However, his name was spoken with malice.

Frowning, you faced Lady Mai in all seriousness. “Prince Naoya? Why so?” Lady Mai looked at you like you’d grown two heads.

“He’s an ass, that’s why.”

“I-I don’t think he is,” you defended, “The Prince has been nothing but kind to me.”

“I didn’t know he was capable of kindness,” she muttered more so under her breath, low enough you were unsure whether you were supposed to hear it in the first place. Lady Mai then shook her head to herself before stealing a flute from a waiter passing by. Chucking it your way, her face turned dark and grim. “Take it as free advice: stay as far away from his as possible. The Crown Prince is nothing but good news.”

“Is it because he has lots of lovers?” you inquired with a small voice, “Uhm – well – It was an assumption. With a title and handsomeness like that, it would make sense everyone would want to be the Crown Prince’s lover.”

Lady Mai’s lip curled upwards. “Prince Naoya won’t bother with lovers. He is too occupied for that.”

“So I’ve heard.”

“Heard from whom?”

“The Royal Declaration from His Majesty himself,” you said, “Was it not the purpose of this ball? To find worthy candidates to be the Crown Prince’s betrothed? His coronation is coming soon.”

“Right. I forgot today was technically a bridal market,” she scratched the edge of her brow, falling silent for a moment. Her eyes scanned the lively crowd for a brief moment – watching with you as everyone laughed and danced to their heart’s content – the grand final event of the routine personal dance with the Crown Prince himself slowly approaching to reality. “You are joining in the festivities, are you not? Later, when he arrives, he shall meet you.”

“I am obligated to as a noble bachelorette, though I doubt His Highness would even look my way. There are far richer noblewomen here and even daughters of duke that would be perfect as his wife. ”

“You may have a point for that,” she hummed to herself, unaware that her agreement to the Crown Prince not paying attention to you left a sting both in your ego and heart. Not that it lasted long, for Lady Mai was already tugged on the arm by another equally fiercely beautiful woman – her older twin, Maki Zen’in. Soon to be governon-general of the Kingdom.

Lady Mai smiled in apology. “I need to go now since I’m not a part of this event. But hey, if ever I come around to visit the Borders again, perhaps you could entertain me?”

“I would be honoured to, Lady Mai.”

“You are sweet and innocent,” it was her sister who spoke this time, glasses perched high on her nose that concealed the wariness of her gaze. “I hope the Crown Prince never gets to your routine.”

“I’m sorry?”

“It’s nothing; she was talking to herself. Maki does that a lot,” Lady Mai’s forced chuckles were barely heard from the music. “You enjoy the party now. Don’t drink too much lest you want to embarrass yourself in everyone’s eyes and be talk of the Kingdom. Prince Naoya would hate it if you took the attention away from him.”

“Oh, uhm...”

“It’s a joke, Lady Y/N. Relax.”

You bowed once more. “My apologies.”

“The dance is about to begin,” Maki tapped on your shoulder, making you look up right where her eyes zeroed in. And exactly in the middle of the grandiose hall, under the sparkling golden chandeliers where he made all the gold in the world look incomparable next to him, the Crown Prince stood in his fully glory. Blond hair with the ends stained of midnight gelled back to reveal his forehead, the Crown Prince’s beauty never failed to shine. Whether it be in the papers, in the tabloids, in the billboards that you passed on the way to the city, or from way back when you met him for the first time as a naive, innocent teen – Crown Prince Naoya came straight out of a magazine cover.

In the back of your head, you could hear either of the twins murmuring good luck. Maybe both of them had said it – you had no idea. All of your attention, all the sensibility and coherence of your state had been switched the next instant, as if your heart and soul was born for the sole purpose of being bewitched by your Crown Prince.

And as if feeling someone’s gaze on him, the Crown Prince’s eyes trailed over the crowd. Almost boredly, his sharp eyes bounced from one giggling woman to another, the ends of his lips smirking upwards for just the tiniest bit. It must’ve stroked his ego. Until his eyes connected with yours. The Crown Prince’s eyebrows knitted together. You had no idea how you looked in that moment, and quite frankly, you didn’t care. Because the Crown Prince was looking at you, and you were looking at him with hearts in your eyes along with your heart pulsing at the tip of your tongue.

“Let us begin,” his lips moved from the distance, “Play the music. I shall dance with my bride.”

The air shifted in a split second. Murmurs were thrown over the room, women and men alike turning pale. Even the orchestra was stunned from the Crown Prince’s entrance – and it hadn’t even been dramatic to his standards – yet the whole castle fell mum from just a few of his words. A few seconds later, the crowd recomposed itself, and the strings began to dance along with its bows.

You are pushed into the crowd. Nearly colliding into the arms of another, you quietly thank the masked man who was to be your first partner of the night.

All the men joining the dance floor dressed with the intention of making the Crown Prince shine. Prince Naoya stood out from the throng of white as per the colour code, his blood red uniform as both Prince with the  golden crest of the military leader pinned to his right breast. The other men meant to be filler partners until all the potential brides got to their designated three minutes with the Prince were all dressed in black, faces covered behind a plain black mask. None were allowed to talk. None were allowed to utter even a word, and so your partner pursed his lips in displeasure at your apology.

Whatever. You just had to wait a few more rounds before the song finished and transitioned into a new one; the song where you’d been informed would be your time alone with the Prince.

You’d been so lost in your head you barely breathed the entire dance. From partner to partner, you blanked. Your heart drummed so wildly in its cage it begged to come out, and strings of apologies were let out each time your masked partners grimaced for a brief second when their hands came in contact with your sweaty ones. Around you, all the lovely women smiled and danced graciously, mouths moving in unreadable conversations shared with the Crown Prince. Not once did you look at the six partners you’ve danced with. Not once did you worry about tripping on your own feet. Not once did you care that some of the masked men held you a little too roughly for your comfort. Your entire reason for existing in that moment was to witness the Crown Prince himself, mirroring his frown that got deeper and deeper with each woman retreating to the sea of people he’d rejected.

Not once did you even think about being one of them – the girls who’ve ducked their heads down as their parents comforted them over not being the chosen one, of bringing ‘dishonour’ to their families that the mighty Crown Prince had deemed them unworthy. Tears streamed down their faces until black ink followed afterwards, lips trembling from silent sobs.

Despite their broken prides – although there was that minority who simply sighed in relief after returning to their own families – no one would dare interrupt the Crown Prince’s dances.

All of these thoughts crossed your mind too late and at the exact time your masked partner pulled away from you, body half bent in a bow with his arm outstretched to the side. Following where he was gesturing at, your eyes met the Crown Prince’s tall and lean stature, a few blond fringes now fallen from his movements.

Even though a thin layer of sweat shone from his face, Prince Naoya remained ethereal.

And like a snake charmed by the musician’s seductive tone, your feet moved on its own. Fingers stretching until it met with the Crown Prince’s large and warm ones, you were now in front of him. With him. Holding him, touching him, meeting him eye for eye and realizing – gold. His eyes burned a deep shade of gold, elegantly rich and heartbreakingly stunning your heart ached.

Before you knew it, your hands began to tremble, feeling as if your body had been corded into a corset three sizes smaller. You could not breathe, and the Crown Prince took notice.

“You are stiff. Do I make you uncomfortable?” Good Saint. If only possible, you would’ve closed your eyes and basked in the deep warmth of his voice. It reverberated from deep within, breathed out with an air of natural authority and profound confidence it made your knees weak. As if sensing his effect on you (though for the wrong reasons, it seemed), Prince Naoya hummed to himself. “This routine shall last for a few minutes before I can let you go, I’m afraid.”

You instantly realized the implications of your silence. “N-not at all, Your Highness! I am honoured to be dancing with you.”

“There is no honour in a choreographed dance. Everyone will dance with me. It’s nothing special.”

Your heart fell. Prince Naoya not only sounded dejected, but detached as well. As if he found no pleasure or specialty in this event, at a time where he had every opportunity to meet his lover, and that this ball was merely a task to be checked off in his already long list of responsibilities. It wasn’t disappointment, per se, but rather melancholy that left a bitter taste in your mouth. Not because Prince Naoya held little to no regards for something you treasured, but because he sounded terribly alone. Like he was simply waiting for it to end out of discomfort.

“It’s special to me, Your Highness,” you blurted out faster than you could stop yourself. For a moment, you feared you may have offended him, but the Crown Prince only laughs.

And when he did – saint, when he laughed – his eyes crinkled into half moons, pearly whites flashing against the bright lights and his whole chest shook with amusement.

You’d never seen him smile this way before.

Prince Naoya’s laughter didn’t cease. Around you, your gut instincts told that people were now beginning to look; the Crown Prince’s deep rumbles of laughter sounded exquisitely like music as well, after all. “ Is it special to you because you are now dancing and within the Crown Prince’s proximity? As much as I presume how exhilarating it might be for those who mostly see me in the papers and in the tabloids, I assure you, dancing with your Prince is not an honour. Especially when you are all sent the invitations based on your status and not your worthy traits.”

“It’s special to me,” you mumbled, growing shy all of a sudden when the Crown Prince nodded at you to continue. “Because...because it reminds me of the first time we met.”

The Crown Prince hummed in amusement.

“We have met before?”

“Yes, Your Highness. I’m from the Terratian Borders – my father is a loyal servant of His Majesty. You visited the borders when you were eighteen and I was sixteen. Do you remember it, Your Highness? You stormed in my private library.”

Indeed, the young barely-out-of-his-teens Crown Prince barged into your home’s library years ago. You were not previously informed he and his parents would be visiting since they arrived wordlessly, so you were stuck in your chambers as usual, killing time if not for sleeping and tending to the animals. Perched on a ladder, you attempted to reach for a book on the upper shelf when your foot slipped beneath you. At the age of sixteen, you were dramatic enough to say your life flashed before your eyes. You would’ve screamed then had strong arms not appeared out of nowhere, the Crown Prince staring at you with wide, golden eyes as they were now, his breathy rasped as he asked, are you okay, my lady?

The mere recollection of that fateful memory had your cheeks warming in delight. “You were so charming and heroic back then. Even when I had no idea you were a royal, I would have still believed you to be princely,” you said rather absentmindedly, blinking once then twice at your words. “Of course, it’s understandable if you do not remember, Your Highness!”

“My apologies. I do not remember, though Terratia is a wonderful place. Such a shame I was not informed beforehand they had a lovely daughter.”

“Thank you, Your Highness,” you cheered back, cheeks and jaw beginning to ache from how wide you were smiling. But could anyone blame you? You felt absolutely silly that you were a breath away from passing out minutes ago, and now here you were, dancing with the Crown Prince and sharing memories with him like it was a daily occurrence. The words it’s true love when you feel at peace with them suddenly rang back at your head from that latest romance novel you read, and you turned away, hoping the Crown Prince would not read your thoughts to your face. However, Prince Naoya’s lips pursed into a thin line, all traces of humour now disappeared. “I’m sorry – should I not have laughed?”

“No, I don’t mind,” he mused with his jaw locked tight, “I just haven’t seen anyone react that way before.”

“Like what?”

“Like my words meant the entire universe to them. I may dare even say you look terribly in love, though I cannot blame you on that one, can I?”

Prince Naoya shook his head the minute the words left his mouth. Forcing himself to believe it couldn’t be real, perhaps, you truly did not know anymore. Your only plan for tonight was to see the Crown Prince and get to live out your dream of seeing him once more even for just a brief moment before you travelled back home while he married another, and yet – “Your Highness, I’m in love with you. I have always been since the day we met.”

You could no longer stop the words. The voice at the back of your head begged you to shut up and not cause a scene, that your time had passed up and people were staring, yet you remained in his arms no matter how much you wanted nothing more than for the ground to swallow you whole.

“Please do not misunderstand me, Your Highness. I did not come here to attempt to steal your heart and be your wife, though I will admit I have dreamt of meeting you again for so many moons. I...I only want to tell you this. That I love you and even though it was a brief moment, I think the love I’ve always read about felt real and possible for the first time in my life,” chuckling nervously, you gather to courage to face him, adoration shining for the Crown Prince stood shock still before you, however stunned he may be. “I love you, Your Highness. I love you. And to whoever lucky woman you choose to be your betrothed, I hope she takes care of you and showers you with all the affection you are deserving of. You would make a great King. So God help his Crown Prince, and may you lead us all into a better world.”

Prince Naoya did not budge a muscle. His eyes remained hard on yours, breath warm as his nostrils fumed. With each passing second that he did not speak, you grew restless and tugged your arm away from his hold with a disgraceful smile.

You’d truly crossed your line. The repercussions to be faced for this impoliteness would destroy your family’s honour. You had to leave. “Your Highness? The song has changed. It’s time to let go—”

The Crown Prince inched close enough until his hair tickled your cheeks, his deep voice sending shivers down your spine as he pulled you close, close enough that your lower bodies touched. Skin ablaze with heat, you dared not move an inch. “Do you mean it?” he demanded lowly, his fingers ghosting over your wrist to hold you in place. “Do you truly love me? Not for what I have, not for who I was born to be, but me as a person itself?”

Closing your eyes to shudder in a deep breath, you exhaled. “Of course, Your Highness. Even if you were not born as a Prince, I’m sure I would’ve still loved you in a different universe.”

“But I do not know you.”

“We don’t have to know each other, Your Highness, and we never will. Once you let me go, I’ll return to the shadows where I belong, and I will continue supporting you until the day of your coronation.”

“And if I refuse to let you go?” he clicked his tongue, “What will you do then?”

The Crown Prince’s spicy perfume must be an aphrodisiac or hypnotizer of sorts. Everything he did messed with your mind that it was too late – the music had stopped and people were no longer drinking or chatting. Everyone’s eyes were on you and the Crown Prince. You could only imagine how controversial this position must be; with his lips trailing dangerously close to that sensitive spot in your neck where you nearly moaned. You really needed to leave.

“P-people are looking, Your Highness. You do not want this affair with someone you won’t choose—”

“Who said I won’t choose you?” Finally, he pulled away. But Prince Naoya never once tore his gaze away from yours, nor did he allow you to look at anyone but him as he caresses your jaw so light and feathery you wondered if he was truly there.“Who said I haven’t laid my eyes on you the moment you walked in here? This ball is for naught because of you, Lady Y/N. I’ve already made my choice, and you helped me confirm it as soon as you danced with me.”

“Your Highness...”

“Look at me,” he ordered, your eyes flitting from his pinkish lips to his sharp nose and then to his fox-like gaze. Only this time, Prince Naoya was no longer harsh. “Don’t be scared.”

“But they’re looking.”

“You are with me, of course they’ll look,” he teased, “They wish to be you right now. But ignore them and dance one more time with me.”

It wasn’t like you had a choice, but did it matter? One nod from him was all it took before the orchestra fumbled back to their spots and a new song played, Ode of Moonlight Lovers, and the Crown Prince was guiding you back to where he had originally danced with you.

From the corners of your eyes, you caught a glimpse of your parents with their mouths gaped open; your father looking like he was on the verge of passing out. However, you felt nothing but joy, nothing but the adrenaline pumping through your veins as he danced and twirled you in his arms. When the music stopped and you were both panting for air with silly smiles on your face, it dawned on you that you were with the Prince. No, rather, it was only you and the Prince alone. Even in the sea of people whose faces began to blur, he prevailed crystal clear.

You could recognize him anywhere, find him everywhere.

Prince Naoya stepped impossibly closer until your chests touched, hearts beating as one. Cupping your jaw, he was near enough that he swallowed all your shaky breaths with a small, teasing smile like you both shared a secret the entire world could not know.

“Do I still make you nervous?”

Laughing, you nodded. “Yes, Your Highness. I feel like I’m going to explode.”

“It’s beloved now,” he corrected, face inching closer and closer to a point you could count the number of his lower lashes. “And what do lovers do to seal their union?”

“M-Marriage?”

“Close, but this is much better.”

If anyone were to tell you that you would have a love story ripped out straight from a fairytale, you would’ve laughed at their faces. You were no Cinderella, nor were you a goddess of beauty that could’ve possibly caught the Crown Prince’s eye. Yet, his soft lips were on yours, kissing you with as much passion you could only dream of that you cried.

Strong hands guiding the back of your waist, Prince Naoya dipped you lower to the ground – the grand of finish of his dance. He had chosen his bride.

The crowd cheered and rejoiced all around you, making you smile into the kiss. Fisting his collar to bring him closer to yours, your mouth burst into metaphorical fireworks as soon as his tongue mingled with yours for an experimental taste. He was bitter yet sweet; expensive wine resting on his tongue, yet a delicate vanilla sat heavily on his soft lips that molded with yours. It was a taste you could spend forever being addicted on. And you were crying, crying so much your chest ached and the Prince’s cheeks grew damp from yours. You’d dreamt of this for so long, too long now.

Prince Naoya slowly pulled you away, his thumb wiping the tears away from the pads of your cheeks with tenderness in his touch. However, the Prince was not satisfied. The crowd whooped as he leant down to kiss your forehead. “You are mine now, my princess.”

Looping his hands with yours, the Crown Prince led you out of the castle. The crowd parted naturally to make way for the new couple, and you were left staring at his broad back and the tuft of blond hair where you’d soon find out how soft it would be. Sending one last glance to your crying parents, you waved goodbye. You had no idea where the Crown Prince would take you but you were already bunching your dress up, heart completely filled with trust you did not question it. What mattered tonight and for the rest of your life was that it felt right. That it was him – your beloved Prince Naoya Zen’in and soon to be husband – that you’d follow through the moon and back.

[makeste]

BnHA 323: “I Don’t Know How to Explain to You That You Should Care About Other People”

Previously on BnHA: Kacchan was all, “Izuku, I’m sorry.” Bakugou Stans were all, “[sobs for a week straight and tearfully awards him the Nobel Prize for character development].” Deku was all, “[faints in Kacchan’s arms].” Iida was all, “[trying to decide if Ochako genuinely tried to kill him a few minutes ago].” Horikoshi was all, “NO TIME FOR HUGS WE MUST GET BACK TO UA.” The civilians holed up at U.A. were all, “WE TOOK A VOTE AND DECIDED THAT WE’RE ALL GOING TO BE JERKS ABOUT THIS AND MAKE A BIG FUSS ABOUT YOU LETTING DEKU BACK INTO THE SCHOOL.” Deku was all “[stands there looking like he expected nothing less and breaking my heart more and more with each passing moment].” Ochako was all, “that does it, looks like I’m gonna have to do something about this... next chapter, that is.”

Today on BnHA: Flashback!Rat Principal is all “I just want you all to know that I spent nine million dollars turning U.A. into a giant Battleship-style grid that can burrow underground and zoom around in a giant subway maze because Horikoshi lacks a grounded understanding of both civil engineering and economics.” Back in the present day, Jeanist is all, “EVERYONE TAKE HEED, MY COMRADES AND I HAVE DEEMED IT EXPEDIENT TO CONVEY THIS AUSPICIOUS YOUTH BACK TO THIS STRONGHOLD. WE ANTICIPATE THAT WE MAY DEPEND UPON YOUR GOODWILL AND ACQUIESCENCE TO THESE TERMS.” The civilians were all, “NO.” Ochako was all, “EMPATHY, MOTHERFUCKERS, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!” The civilians were all, “oh shit.” Anyway so Ochako is a giant badass, but I’m a little worried that she’s going to get struck by lightning. Please come down from there.

so before we start this chapter, I would just like to apologize for having not posted the ch 321 recap yet, and would like to reassure everyone, and especially Iida who is staring at me with Sad Wobbly Guilt Trip Eyes, that I will get to that as soon as I can

OMG FLASHBACK??

yes please Horikoshi please show us more of class 1-A and their Deku intervention strategy jam sessions

oh dear

Iida you are too pure and good for this cruel world. [sprays the U.A. civilians with a water bottle] NO. BAD CIVILIANS! NO OSTRACIZING SCARED AND EXHAUSTED CHILDREN IN THE HOUSE

EXCUSE ME RAT PRINCIPAL WHAT’S WITH THESE MIXED MESSAGES

???

RAT PRINCIPAL: he’s free to return to us at any time!!

ALSO RAT PRINCIPAL: but it’s too risky for him to return to us

?? ??????? ?????????????????????

so now he’s going on about how strong the U.A. Barrier is, and how it’s comparable to the defensive capabilities of Tartarus. this would have sounded a lot more impressive before chapter 297 lol

OH!!!! HELLO, WHAT’S THIS!!!

A TIMELY CALLBACK TO A CERTAIN MYSTERIOUS EVENT WHICH HASN’T BEEN REFERENCED SINCE USJ? [U.A. TRAITOR MUSIC INTENSIFIES]

so now Rat Principal says he upgraded U.A.’s security systems with his own “modifications”, whatever the fuck that means. I mean look, I’ve been saying for a long time now that U.A. is the best place for everyone to hole up, don’t get me wrong. but that was mostly on account of there not being any other practical alternatives. but you’re making it sound like you figured out a way to actually make it Decay-proof or some wild shit like that

-- hold up, DID YOU ADD A FORCE FIELD. DID YOU TRICK THIS SCHOOL OUT WAKANDA-STYLE YOU CRAZY MARSUPIAL. HOLY SHIT. because that would actually be perfect

LMAO

WHAT KIND OF GALAXY BRAIN BULLSHIT. “NAH THERE’S NO NEED FOR A FORCE FIELD, LET’S JUST PUT WHEELS ON IT”

oh okay so the whole campus is basically capable of burrowing itself underground. that’s insane lol I wonder how they pulled that off. probably got poor Cementoss working overtime

blah blah blah so basically the entire campus is split into a grid and each section of the grid is capable of its own independent movement. lol this is just the Merone Base from KHR. you thought no one would notice this casual plagiarism ten years after the fact, but YOU UNDERESTIMATED YOUR AUDIENCE, HORIKOSHI

“joke’s on you imma just lampshade it” WELL ALL RIGHT THEN

“look at me I’m so fucking self-aware” fucking swear to god. I can’t believe this man is my favorite mangaka of all time smdh

“excuse me, I wasn’t finished describing all the rest of this bullshit yet,” Rat Principal breaks in impatiently. “we also added a steel wall all around the underground of the campus that’s 3000 steel plates thick. that’s fifteen fucking meters of solid fucking steel just fyi. and if anyone fucks around with any part of it the defense system will activate immediately! and also all of the plates are independently motorized, whatever the fuck that means!! in conclusion you’re gonna need a fucking tower crane to suspend all of your disbelief by the time I’m through with this paragraph”

“also Shiketsu is almost as reinforced as U.A. but not quite because we still had to make sure we were better.” but of course. and apparently the two schools are connected via a secret tunnel as Hagakure mentioned earlier

LSDKFJLSDKJFLK

“WAIT WHAT” LMAO YOU HEARD HIM, NOW INASA CAN VISIT YOU BOTH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND TELL YOU ALL ABOUT THE WEIRD DREAM HE HAD. GOD BLESS YOU HORIKOSHI

(ETA: moment of appreciation for Shouto and Katsuki having the same thought at the same time and making Knowing Eye Contact and saying the exact same thing out loud in perfect unison like the best friends they are. what a blessed day.)

so Tokoyami is all “but wait if you engineered all this shit all the way back during the Band arc how did you even know that Tomura’s quirk awakening would become a thing, Horikoshi -- uh, I mean, Principal Nezu”

and Rat Principal is all “lol idk”

“basically I just woke up one morning and was all ‘say, you know what this school really needs? a fifteen-meter-thick underground steel wall, and the ability to break up into little pieces that individually zoom around wherever the fuck they want.’ jesus christ. lol if money and common sense were apparently no obstacle why didn’t you just teleport U.A. to the fucking moon or something. maybe I should shut up before I given him any ideas

dsfaelkjldkjgl

you heard it here first, folks, all of this cost a grand total of nine million U.S. dollars. well technically it cost “more than” nine million dollars. never has that distinction been more important lmao. are we sure this barrier was really made of steel and not cardboard? who the hell sold it to them, Ea-Nasir??

this is my favorite manga series of all time. yes I am ashamed

“in conclusion please do your best to reach Deku-kun” SO WHAT WAS ALL THAT NONSENSE ABOUT IT BEING TOO RISKY THEN. anyway thank you for this super informative and edifying flashback, Horikoshi. I will cherish it always. I don’t even want to read another translation of this absurdity lmao, there’s something special about it just the way it is. pretty sure Horikoshi just had a cracked out fever dream one night and transferred it to the pages of the manga verbatim

anyway so back to the unruly mob

not their finest moment. please excuse me while I cover poor Deku’s ears and give him a good shoosh pap

oh wow the parents are out here too

is Mitsuki trying to hold Inko back?? that’s the last thing this fandom needs right now is more Mitsuki discourse fffwlkjs. and even Jiroudad, scientifically proven to be the best dad in all of BnHA, is just standing there silently looking vaguely unhappy. way to rise to the moment you guys

MONOMA

so this settles it for me that Aizawa is not at UA. I know a lot of people have been wondering about his whereabouts, and if I had to wager a guess it would be that something happened with Shirakumo/Kurogiri. I can’t think of anything else -- even the loss of an eye and a limb -- that would keep him from his kids at a time like this

anyway but this is excellent Monoma content right here though. I love that he apparently adopted Eri after a single interaction with her. also WHERE IS SHINSOU DAMMIT. THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW

and Kouta’s there too looking like he wants to run over to Deku but Ragdoll won’t let him :/

it’s gotta be pretty upsetting for him to see his hero like this and not having anyone stand up for him. [taps megaphone] IS THIS THING ON. OKAY YEAH IT SEEMS TO BE WORKING. AHEM. PAGING URARAKA OCHAKO. GONNA NEED YOU TO GET OVER HERE ALREADY AND MAKE THAT BIG DRAMATIC SPEECH WHICH YOU ARE CLEARLY DYING TO MAKE. IF YOU DON’T DO IT SOON I’M GONNA HAVE TO STEP IN, AND YOU REALLY DON’T WANT ME TO DO THAT SINCE MY SPEECH WILL NOT BE VERY GOOD OR INSPIRING, AND WILL PROBABLY JUST CONSIST OF “HELLO, YOU ARE ALL STUPID, PLEASE SHUT UP AND GO AWAY”

so now Mic is telling them to calm down. at least someone’s speaking up here, geez

OH MY GOD

MY MAN JEANIST OUT HERE DOING WHAT HE DOES BEST: MAKING EVERYONE FEEL GUILTY AND JUDGED

OH MY GOD HE IS GIVING SUCH A LONG AND BORING SPEECH LMAO IS YOUR STRATEGY TO PUT THEM ALL TO SLEEP OR WHAT

truly in awe of this man’s ability to take messages which could easily be conveyed in ELI5-speak, and stubbornly convert them into incomprehensible language the likes of which you need a graduate degree in order to understand

“hey guys, so originally our plan was to use Deku as bait for the villains, but that didn’t really work and also we realized it was kinda dumb and was probably gonna get him killed, so we brought him back here instead.” was that really so hard, Jeanist. also are we all really just gonna sit back here and watch Jeanist take full credit for Bakugou’s plan just like that lmao

(ETA:

WHERE DID ENDEAVOR GO AND WHO IS THIS DIABOLICAL MASTER OF DISGUISE. lol I genuinely didn’t notice this because I was too busy digging through thesauruses trying to rewrite Jeanist’s speech; many thanks to @class1akids​ for pointing it out and making my day immeasurably better. take it easy there Dick Tracy.)

“anyway so please stop being dicks and let him fucking rest so he can save all your ungrateful asses” what an impassioned and inspiring plea. time to see if the masses will listen to reason

narrator: they did not listen to reason

oh my god finally Ochako is doing something. YEAH OCHAKO WOOOO SHOW THEM HOW IT’S DONE

hmm

this entire chapter is truly and utterly nonsensical to me lol

(ETA: on my second readthrough I’m fucking dying at how she stole the megaphone right out of Mic’s hand lmao. and how Kacchan is all “fuck yeah nothing I appreciate more than some quality fucking larceny.”)

oh I see she was jumping on top of the main building so as to scream down at them all more impressively

“ANYWAY DEKU IS PRETTY COOL ACTUALLY, YOU GUYS ARE JUST MEAN” couldn’t have said it better myself Ochako

lol uh

gotta say I did not have “Ochako reveals the secret of OFA to the entire U.A. Citizen Clown Parade” on my bingo card for this week. it’s a bold strategy cotton let’s see if it pays off

SDLFKJSL

“NO, SERIOUSLY, HAVE YOU LOOKED AT HIM YOU GUYS. YOU THINK HE LIKES RUNNING AROUND DRESSED LIKE A RUSTED OIL DRUM?? HE DID THAT FOR YOU YOU UNGRATEFUL SLOBS”

so she is basically explaining the entire Deku Angst arc to them and explaining what a good and selfless protagonist Deku is, YES, PREACH

OMG IT’S THE GIGANTIC FOX LADY

not to insinuate anything, but what exactly were you doing standing out here with the hysterical mob, Gigantic Fox Lady? you’re better than that

-- KACCHAN SIGHTING!!

sdlkfjl. thanks for weighing in with that helpful and important observation. where have you been for the last five minutes. were you asleep. was it Jeanist’s speech

never mind, now he’s yelling at the civilians so I instantly forgive him

THE FUTURE NUMBER ONE HERO, EVERYONE. THANK YOU, THANK YOU. HE’LL BE HERE ALL WEEK

“anyway so I’m just going to end the chapter here” lmao seventeen pages truly do go by so fast. at least he didn’t try to force in a cliffhanger at the end this time. dare I say, growth

so I guess the civilians are either gonna have a Kamino and/or Fukuoka-esque moment where they remember how to be decent people and apologize to this poor young man, or else they’ll remain unpersuaded, and so Kacchan will have to knock a few of their heads around until they become more inclined to be reasonable. either option is fine by me lol

[jasontoddiefor]

Tyki Mikk is a Clone and I can (almost) prove it

Tyki Mikk is undoubtedly a fan favorite and yet we don’t really know a lot about him. For a character that was created with the purpose of being handsome (cf. D.Gray-Man Manga Volume 5, page 150), he carries a lot of baggage and has a rather unclear past. A theory that has haunted me since I read chapter 198 and has only grown in strength with the most recent arc is that Tyki is in fact a clone of Nea. As far fetched as this seems at start, there is quite a bit of evidence supporting this theory.

1) Tyki’s visible similarity to Nea (and Mana)

One of the first things Wisely remarks on when he meets Tyki is his similarity to “a certain man” (Chapter 187).

This similarity is picked up twice more in the manga. When Allen meets Nea for the first time (cf. chapter 198), he mistakes him for Tyki at first.

And it is brought up a third time by Nea himself in chapter 225 when he says:

To which Tyki, or rather Joyd, has this wonderful reaction:

But more on that guy specifically later. Point being right here is that three different characters, or four if you want to count Road and Wisely separately, acknowledge that Tyki resembles Nea a lot, down to the man himself. How does that saying go again? Once An Accident, Twice A Coincidence, Three Times A Pattern? This is something that repeatedly gets brought up again. And this is without going into detail on how much Tyki resembles not only Nea, but said man’s identical twin as well. Just look at that dashing long hair!

And take this from chapter 158 as well

Pretty long haired boy Mana is nothing new as of chapter 218 and 219:

Another interesting point here is that Tyki is the exact same height as the Earl in human form! They’re both 188cm tall. Nea, on the other hand, is listed at being 177cm. This could just be that Nea unfortunately ended up as the shorter twin, or, we take into consideration what Mana tells Allen/Red in chapter 238:

He remembers being seventeen, which means that he and Nea probably weren’t done growing yet when the “Earl” corrupted Mana. (It also kind of makes everything about Nea more hilarious if you realize he’s just seventeen.) Tyki, however, is 26 when we first meet him and should be around 27 now. He is an actual adult and not bound to hit another growth spurt.

But to summarize the first argument: Tyki looks uncannily similar to Nea and Mana and the manga keeps pointing it out so we can assume this resemblance is important.

2) Cloning is possible in canon

Now the second point is just here to point out that we know cloning to be possible. Funnily, Tyki’s resemblance to Nea gets pointed out just before the Alma Arc, which very much deals with the concept of reincarnation – only there we have the brains of deceased Exorcists transplanted into youthful bodies.

However, it’s not as if something like DNA hasn’t been mentioned before. Specifically, it has been called “Helix of life” by no other than maybe-former-Bookman but definitely First-Nea-host Past!Allen in chapter 221:

So let’s assume that, in the aftermath of Nea’s “death”, PastA didn’t just wait around for Nea to wake again, but tried to find a vessel for him. Messing around with this helix, and whatever other dubious science and magic this world had to offer, and created a new body to host Nea. Except he failed, and the result is Tyki.

But if that is so, shouldn’t Tyki remember anything about that? Good question. Time for some more shady weird stuff about Tyki.

3) The Missing Years

In chapter 202, while the Earl is resting, Tyki talks to Road. I don’t speak Japanese, so I can’t verify which translation is more accurate, but I’ve found these two:

Now the official German one also goes with a similar translation as the second one here, implying that Tyki has been with the Earl for ten years. In any case, the fact that this decade at all gets mentioned is quite odd because it doesn’t match up with what we know of Mana travelling with Allen. Cross calls Allen a “ten-year-old brat” (chapter 208) when he looks after him. So between Mana travelling with Allen and current canon, only 6 years have passed – what are up with the other 4 that are supposedly within this decade? We don’t have a definite age for how old Allen was when he met Mana, but I’d say around 7 or older. That’s still not enough to fill out the decade they speak about here.

Now, presuming that it does in fact refer to Tyki staying with the Earl for that time, we’re either left with assuming that the Earl acted as a separate entity as we see in 218, or that Tyki’s memories are just flat out wrong.

4) Tyki Mikk’s Canon-Typical Ignorance AKA The Baby of The Family

The more often Tyki appears, the more we see how much he actually doesn’t know about the going-ons of the war, or even himself. This goes back as far as the Ark Arc in chapter 130 with the Earl pointing out that:

So this form is apparently something that all Noah of Pleasure can take on, a sort of second stage of awakening. Still, it feels significant that Tyki separates his life so much into “black” and “white”, “Noah” and “human”, going as far as suppressing a part of his Noah. It puts him in direct opposition to Skinn, who was more or less entirely consumed by his Noah memories. Though, perhaps this is also just a narrative ploy because a character with the ability to chose is, frankly speaking, fuck off overpowered and the only reason why Tyki isn’t constantly leveling battlefields is probably that he just doesn’t know how to apply himself.

Regardless, Tyki’s ignorance also becomes visible in chapter 187 again when he wonders about his Noah name:

Nobody else reacts like he does, even though the other Noah haven’t been awake as long as he has and also should have retained the same memory damage as Joyd after Nea’s murder spree. Yet Tyki feels a little like the baby of the family, still learning and growing while everyone else is already in the know, which can’t be too far from the truth if we look at chapter 225:

Wisely and Road definitely know that something went down and kept it from Tyki for so long for reasons. So besides Allen learning the truth sometime in the future, Tyki is also heading towards some kind of realization – and honestly, what better than the fact that the man who enjoys his freedom and roam so much, was artificially created?

Road could have manipulated his subconsciousness, his memories. It’s a miracle really that the Earl hadn’t had a breakdown around Tyki already given how much he looks like Nea. And if Tyki really awoke as a Noa a decade ago, then eh would have been right the age Nea was when he died. The Earl should have reacted in one way or another.

Other small details that don’t add up is a) the claim that Tyki and Sheril are actual brothers. They have different last names, which would imply that they are perhaps rather half siblings, sharing one parent, or maybe they just aren’t related at all in the first place. The other thing is that Nea recognizing Tyki’s face immediately after confronting Mana about his changed appearance just adds even more suspicion.

5) TLDR

Tyki is either a clone or something else messy went down because there’s no way that there’s a natural Nea and Mana copy running around who also just so happens to be a Noah. No way.

Thanks for coming to my  TED talk I’m never writing meta again this was a nightmare to post.

[andreafmn]

I'm Not Afraid - Chapter 3

Word Count: 3,195

Characters: Female Reader Argent Character, Original Male Argent Character, Derek Hale, Allison Argent, Scott McCall, Stiles Stilinski, Isaac Lahey, Lydia Martin, Chris Argent, Jackson Whittemore

Story Description: (Y/N) Argent arrived at Beacon Hills to put to rest her father’s sister, Kate Argent. For the first time, her family has decided to settle down and sustain a life in this interesting small town. After 17 years, (Y/N) has the opportunity to establish interpersonal relationships but will she be ready to face the complications that come with relating to her cousin’s, Allison, friends; especially, the infamous Derek Hale. She will face the adventure of being associated with the Derek and McCall pack as well as being faced with the discovery of certain aspects of her life she never imagined.

*DISCLAIMER* I do not own in any way Teen Wolf, all credits of the pre-established characters, script, and storyline belong to Jeff Davis and MTV Network. The only thing I own is Argent Reader insert, her immediate family, and her storyline, as well as her effects in the others’ storyline.

Chapter: 3/?

Warnings:  brief mention of attempted suicide

A/N: If you enjoy my writing I’ll also be posting them in AO3 and Wattpad along with other stories (I also hope to start taking requests if ya’ll want) Hope you enjoy and all constructive criticism is encouraged.

Follow Me!

<- Previous | Next->

Chapter 3

"Time!" Mr. Harris looked up from his watch. "If you catalyzed the reaction correctly, you should now be looking at a crystal."

I looked down at my beaker and saw a horrible concoction of half crystal and half goo. Thanks to Stiles, my last partner of this weird-ass rotation the chemistry teacher had us partake in. Yet even though I didn't get with Stiles that well I was relieved that he was my partner. Isaac had been completely insufferable these last few days and I couldn't handle that.

"Now this part of the experiment I'm sure you'll all enjoy. You can eat it." I was bummed that I couldn't eat mine and I guess Lydia noticed.

"Hey, (Y/N), we can share mine. Don't frown." I smiled at her and she returned it.

After Lydia gave me half her rock crystal, Scott just stood up and screamed our names to stop, and everyone else just stared at us. We both turned and gave the boy a weird stare before diverging our attention back to the candy. After clinking our candies against the other, we savored the sweet treat.

Allison's POV

"Derek is outside waiting for (Y/N) and Lydia," Scott said.

"Waiting to kill them?"

"If he thinks one of them is the Kanima, then yes. Especially after what happened at the pool."

"It's not Lydia."

"Stiles, she didn't pass the test, man. Nothing happened."

"No, it can't be her."

"Well, it's not (Y/N) either."

"Well, it could be her."

"What is that supposed to mean?!" What the hell was his problem?

"Well, we have no idea who she is, and she hasn't really proven to be a good person. And the attacks did start after she first arrived at Beacon Hills."

"You don't know her, I do. Believe me, it's not her. I've known her my whole life. I think I would have noticed her turning into a killing lizard and I don't think I would be here to tell you. So, we can cross her out." We both sighed. "But it doesn't matter because Derek thinks it's one of them. So, either we can convince him that he's wrong or we've got to figure out a way to protect them."

"Well, I don't think he's gonna do anything here. Not at school." Scott stepped in.

"What about after school?" I asked and he sighed. "What if we can prove that Derek's wrong?"

"By three o'clock?"

"There can be something in the bestiary."

"Oh, you mean the 900-page book written in Archaic Latin that none of us can read? Good luck with that." Seriously Stiles, not helping. At least I was trying.

"Actually, I think there might be someone who can translate," I said thinking about our guidance counselor.

"Uh, I can talk to Derek maybe convince him to give us a chance to prove it's not either of them or... But if anything happens you guys let me handle it, okay?"

"What does that mean?"

"You can't heal like I do." I stared at him. I wasn't a defenseless baby. "I just don't want you getting hurt."

"I can protect myself." I took the crossbow out of my bag. He said nothing. "What? Did something else happen?"

"I just don't want you getting hurt. Seriously, if anything goes wrong you call me, okay?! I don't care if your dad finds out. Call or text, scream or yell; whatever, I'll find you as fast as I can." He stared straight into my eyes.

"We have until three."

He turned to leave until my crossbow went off. "Ooh." Scott quickly turned around and caught the arrow.

"Aah. Sorry." Stiles handed me the crossbow. "Sorry. Sensed a trigger on that."

Scott's POV

Currently, Stiles was on Lydia's and (Y/N)'s trail, and I was on the field with Boyd trying to find Derek.

"I wanna talk to Derek."

"Talk to me."

"I don't wanna fight."

"Good. Cause I'm twice the size of you" I looked up to find it true.

"True. Really, really true." He smirked. "But you wanna know what I think? I'm twice as fast." I smirked back and tackled him to the ground. Once we stood up, Derek appeared by our side.

"She failed the test." His face held his iconic scowl, and his arms were crossed.

"Yeah, but that doesn't prove anything. Lydia's different."

"I know. At night she turns into a homicidal walking snake."

"I'm not gonna let you kill her."

"Who said I was gonna do it?" I looked back to the school and realized Erica and Isaac were still back in the building. I tried to run towards it, but Boyd threw me down. "I don't know why you think you have to protect everyone now, Scott. But even so, Lydia has killed people and she's gonna do it again. And next time it's gonna be one of us."

"What if you're wrong? For all we know it could also be (Y/N). She didn't pass either, and how is it a coincidence that the attacks started after she arrived?" For a second I could have sworn there was a sign of desperation and worry in his face. But as quick as I blinked the look was gone.

"Lydia was bitten by an alpha. It's her."

"You saw that thing up close. You know it's not like us."

"But it is! We're all shapeshifters. You don't know what you're dealing with. It happens rarely and it happens for a reason."

"What reason?"

"Sometimes the shape you take reflects the person that you are." He gave me his hand and helped me up. "Even Stiles calls her cold-blooded."

"Well, what if she's immune? What if she has something else inside of her that makes her immune to the bite which is why she didn't get paralyzed."

"No one's immune. We've never seen it or heard of it. It's n... It's never happened." He argued.

"What about Jackson?" He looked away. "That's why you tested him, isn't it? Because you gave him what he wanted, didn't you?"

"Scott..."

"You said the bite either kills you or turns you. You were probably hoping that he would die. But nothing happened, right? You have no idea why do you?"

"No." Derek's jaw clenched and I knew I struck a never, so I pressured on buying more time.

"I have a theory. That she's immune and that somehow, she passed it on to Jackson. You know I'm right."

"No!

"You can NOT do this!"

"Look, I can't let her live! You should've known that."

"I was hoping I could convince you but then, I wasn't counting on it." He looked at me frazzled as to what I meant, I just smirked.

(Y/N)'s POV

Being stuck with Stiles and Lydia in the library is torture, an experiment I did not want to know the result of. Actually, just Stiles. Ever since Chemistry he had been on our trail like a lost puppy. Lydia and I had a project to work with, and he was just in the way. He was acting so weird and fidgety, more than usual.

"Hey, Allison. What are you doing here?" Lydia said looking behind her.

"Oh nothing, just wondering if you wanted to get together for a study group."

"Sure, that would actually maybe let the tension leave this group," I said and as we were leaving, Jackson joined.

"Study group? I'm coming with."

"Great." We left through the back door of the library, lord knows why, and we were walking at top speed.

"If we're doing a study group why don't we just stay in the library?" Lydia said. I was asking myself the same thing but since everyone else had stood up, I just followed.

"Because we're meeting up with somebody else."

"Why don't they just meet us at the library?" I asked.

"Oh, that would have been a great idea! Too late."

"Okay, hold on..." Lydia started saying but Jackson stopped her by grabbing her arm.

"Lydia, shut up and walk." Jerk.

We all got inside of Stile's jeep since he thought it would be faster that way because we were already late. It was an awkward ride to what I learned was Scott's house. No one said much except for the casual groan or scoff coming from Lydia.

"If we're meeting at Scott's house, where's Scott?" Lydia asked.

"Meeting us here. I think. I hope." Stiles said as he led us up to the front steps and into Scott's house.

Once inside he closed every single lock there was on the door. My reaction was involuntary as I stared at the slim boy in front of me as if he was another worldly creature.

"Uh, there's been a few break-ins in the neighborhood." He then put a chair on the doorknob and now Lydia joined in the stare. "And a murder. Yeah, it was bad."

"Lydia, follow me. I need to talk to you for a minute." Jackson spoke up.

"Seriously, what is going on with everyone?" Lydia said exasperated.

"Actually, I've been thinking the same thing. What the hell is going on?" I asked once Jackon and Lydia were out of sight.

"Nothing. Like we said it's just a study group." Stiles answered and I crossed my arms against my chest. Groveling for an answer seemed completely futile in this situation.

Allison's POV

"You know what, (Y/N). Why don't you go into the kitchen and help yourself to anything or go upstairs and lay down? I think Scott will take a while."

"O-kay?" She headed upstairs with an audible sigh and I motioned to Stiles to give me his phone to dial Scott.

"Hey, it's me. You need to get here. Quick." I looked outside and saw Derek and his pack waiting. I looked at the phone after Scott hung up and started dialing my dad's number.

"What are you doing?"

"I think... I think I have to call my dad."

"But if he finds you here, you and Scott..."

"I know." I stared at him. "What are we supposed to do? They're not here to scare us, okay, they're here to kill Lydia... Or, or even (Y/N)." We stood in silence and I debated on whether if it would be a good idea to call my father. If I did my relationship with Scott would be completely and truly over and if I didn't there could be a chance I would be down a friend or even a cousin.

"I've got an idea." I looked at a nervous Stiles. "Shoot one of them."

"Are you serious?"

"We told Scott we could protect ourselves. So, let's do it, at least give it a shot, right?" I debated for a moment.

"Okay." I don't think I sounded too confident.

"Look, they don't think we're gonna fight, so one of them gets hit, I guarantee they'll take off. So just shoot one of them." His reasoning made sense. I looked outside.

"Which one?"

"Um, Derek, preferably in the head."

"Stiles, if Scott can catch an arrow, Derek definitely can."

"Okay, ah, just shoot one of the other three."

"You mean two?"

"I mean three." Quickly he moved the curtains aside and looked outside to check on the pack. "Where's Isaac?" Without being able to think I was attacked and thrown to the ground and so was Stiles. I don't know how but Isaac found a way in.

(Y/N)'s POV

I was laying down on the bed of what I hoped was a guest room, scrolling through my phone when I heard a crash downstairs. I guess Lydia heard it too because when I looked outside the hallway, there she was. We moved slowly and carefully. After, I started to hear snarling and crashing.

"What's happening?" Lydia cried and I half hugged her as reassurance.

"Get back. Someone's trying to break in, okay? Go." Allison appeared from around the corner.

"I can help," I said.

"Stay." We didn't move. "Guys, go!" We both ran back to the room she was with Jackson and closed the door. Yet, Jackson was nowhere in sight.

"Jackson?!" Lydia screamed and we made our way to the bathroom locking the door.

"Who are you calling?" I asked Lydia as she took out her phone.

"Hi, I-I need the police. Th-there's someone trying to break in." She turned off the light and I heard the door outside slam.

"Stiles! It's here!" Allison screamed. What the hell was IT? Then the door crashed down. Lydia started squirming so I engulfed her in a hug and tried my best to calm her nerves.

"We're gonna be alright." But honestly, I was just as scared. Once silence was the only thing surrounding us, I checked the room. "Okay, I think it's gone. We'll go out slowly."

She nodded and followed me out of the bathroom and later out of the room. We made our way calmly down the hallway and the stairs. That's when I heard the worst screech ever and it was not human. We both ran outside to see what had made such an awful sound and were met by Derek, Isaac, Erica, Boyd, Scott, Stiles, and Allison. What the hell were they all doing here, and why were Erica and Isaac limp on the floor?

"Would someone please tell me what the hell is going on?"

"It's Jackson," Scott said. What could that possibly mean?

After everyone had calmed down, Stiles took us back to the school to look for our abandoned cars. As I made my way to my bike, Allison stopped me. Claiming that she was too worried about my safety. Not having the energy to fight, I obliged and got into her car alongside Lydia, who was still a bit shaken from the events.

"I need you to promise that you both won't say anything about what just happened." Allison staged the statement as a request but it was clearly a command.

"I promise not to say anything about what just happened if you could tell me what the HELL just happened," Lydia said, exasperated.

"I'm with Lydia on that one."

"It's kinda complicated." Allison sighed.

"How about you start with why Derek was there?" I spoke. "And Isaac and all of those kids from school?"

"Or where Jackson went or what is wrong with Erica?" She looked down. "Need to come up with a possible lie?"

"Part of the reason I am asking is because Scott and I aren't supposed to be seeing each other, okay?" Seriously? That's your excuse "So it's better if you just keep what you know to yourselves."

"Fine. I'll keep what I know about you and your boyfriend, which is nothing, to myself." Lydia started to get out, but Allison held her back.

"Hey, he's not just my boyfriend, you get that right?"

"Let me go." The strawberry blonde spat.

"Just for one second, please try and remember. "

"Remember what?!" Lydia turned.

"Remember what it feels like. All those times in school when you see him standing in the hall and you cannot breathe until you're with him or those times in class when you can't stop looking at the clock because you know that he is standing right out there, waiting for you. Don't you remember what that's like?"

"No."

"What do you mean no? You've had boyfriends."

"Not like that." She closed the door and left. Allison stared at her until she had reached the door to her house before starting the car back up.

"I know you're lying. This has nothing to do with your relationship with Scott. Maybe like five percent but when you look at the whole picture it's not. So, why don't you actually tell me the truth or I swear I will get out of this car."

"We're moving."

"Doesn't mean I won't jump out."

"What do you want me to say?!"

"The truth. Just tell me why the hell everyone has been acting so weird?"

"You're one to talk." She scoffed.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You! Ever since you've arrived you have pushed everyone away, even though all they have been is nice to you. You're alienating yourself for no reason."

"No reason?! How about the fact that I don't want to grow attached to anyone because I know that once the year ends, I'm gone? It has been like that for almost ten fucking years. Allison, you have only had to move about three times in your life, maybe four. I have been moving every single year since I was eight years old. Don't you think that it doesn't hurt to leave behind people you have grown to love and won't see again, possibly forever?"

"I didn't think..." she sighed.

"Exactly, you didn't think because you don't understand. The last time I grew close to someone, I had to say goodbye and you know what happened?" She shook her head no. "She was bullied into attempting suicide. I did that."

"Are you talking about Josie?" I nodded, roughly wiping away the tears that had spilled. "That wasn't your fault. It was tragic but there was nothing you could have done. You didn't do it."

"I did. She was alone because I left, and I couldn't protect her. She won't even answer my messages. Now, I don't associate myself with people so I don't have to care about what happens to them. That way it doesn't hurt once I leave."

"I'm so sorry, (Y/N), I didn't know you felt that way. But don't push me away. I will always be a constant in your life. I'm your cousin, I will always be with you." She hugged me and wiped away any other tears left. "I love you but get out."

"Dude, you just ruined the moment."

"No, I mean we're at your house and I have to get home. I love you." She smiled and I got out of the car. Before I could say anything else, she sped off. She knew there was a conversation still lingering and she was trying to avoid it. I just hoped I didn't have to explain myself to anyone else.

I entered the empty house, making sure all the doors were locked, and made my way up the stairs. Opening my bedroom door, Brody jumped off my bed and onto me, slathering my face with kisses.

"Hey, buddy. I missed you too," I laughed. Being near him instantly calmed me and helped me feel more at ease after the night I had.

I changed into my pajamas, too tired to shower, and cuddled with Brody on my bed. Talking about my past always made me tense. I tried my best to stray away from the topic and reveal as little as possible as I could, but it always found a way to be uncovered. As hard as I tried it was the dark cloud that would always follow me around. All I could do was avoid the whole thing as much as I could and hope they didn't bring it up again.

With Brody's warmth next to me, I quickly nodded off to sleep and melted the stress of the day.

<- Previous | Next->

Follow Me!

Tag List: @hellowinterlane @lokisgoddesofpower

[bruhlsbees]

sapphire strings || modern!andrea marowski x gn!reader

summary: andrea marowski is an exchange student from poland and reader's stand partner in their orchestra

pairing: modern!andrea marowski x female!reader

warnings: super fluffy, possibly bad polish translations, stupidly disgustingly sweet

word count: 3,588

a/n: i just watched ladies in lavender for the first time and i adore andrea so much - such a sweet sweet boy, if you can catch the poor white chicks reference in this i will love you forever.....also check out @creme-bruhlee newest andrea marowski fanfiction because they've only posted the first chapter and you can tell it's already going to be wonderful!!

The auditorium echoed with the sounds of sheet music rustling, instruments being tuned, and those who ignored the conductor and chose to continue to play their instruments, despite others needing to desperately tune their own. It was rather chaotic - but you expected nothing different as the orchestra was preparing to enter a new concert cycle, the crazed energy still among many as the conductor passed out the new piece.

Sitting in the back, all alone, you waited until the violinists in front passed your copy of the new piece back to you. For the new concert, the orchestra would be playing ‘Dvorak - New World Symphony’. Everyone was surprised to say the least when the conductor had announced it. While it wasn’t too challenging for most of those who were in the orchestra, it still gave the conductor enough room to push you all for what he knew you could achieve.

When the girl in front of you turned around, smiling as she extended her arm out above your stand to hand you your copy, you snatched it quickly from her, eyes lighting up as you set it flat on your stand, opening the booklet to scan your section. You ignored her laugh, and the rolling of her eyes, paying attention only to the set of notes - airbowing along as you hummed to yourself.

Despite being last chair in the first violin section, you were just as enthusiastic as the others - perhaps even more than some. You didn’t mind sitting in the back, alone, it meant that you had to only rely on yourself and if you screwed up it was your fault...that and you didn’t drag anyone down with you. You couldn’t lie to yourself, the idea of having a stand partner was not something that you were fond of.

Continuing to airbow, body swaying to the music that played in your head, your motions came to a slow stop as you heard the conductor tap his baton on his stand, raising his hands to gather the attention of everyone. You hadn’t realized until looking up, but there was someone new standing beside him. Someone younger who held his violin close to his chest.

This was weird, you weren’t expecting to have any new member of the orchestra.

“Everyone! Please, settle down for just a moment,” The conductor began, hushing the orchestra with his hands before smiling at the silence, “As you may know, we are transitioning from our previous concert cycle and into our new one-” The claps and whistles that erupted from the percussion section sent out an erupt of laughters from the orchestra, even a stifled one from the conductor. Shaking his head, the conductor tapped on the stand to gather everyone back in.

“Yes, glad to hear we have some enthusiasm over that...anyways, as I was saying, we are entering our new concert cycle and there will be some minor changes with our orchestra. This isn’t a bad thing, but a good thing! We will be having a new violinist joining us all the way from Poland.” Motioning towards the gentleman beside him, the conductor smiled and nudged for the gentleman to step up on the podium with him.

“This here is Andrea Marowski. He will be performing with us for this next concert cycle. Now Andrea, if I remember correctly, you said you played quite frequently back home?”

You watched as the shy boyish grin on Andrea’s face spread, cheeks going pink as he nodded, obviously not too much of a fan with the attention drawn to him. “Tak, I play for Poland orchestra.”

The heavy Polish accent slowed his words a bit, as if he were trying to make sure to annunciate what he was saying in English correctly. You caught yourself smiling ever so slightly, thinking it was cute to see him try so hard.

Your conductor, however, was not as swooned over the Polish violinist as you were. He nodded, clapping the man’s back, before turning Andrea towards your section. You watched as he pointed at you, whispering something to Andrea before returning to the podium. Your smile dropped slightly, shifting in your seat as Andrea approached your stand, hovering next to the open seat that was on the inside.

“Witaj! I was told to sit here?” The statement sounded more like a question, and perhaps that was because the expression that stained your face was not the most welcoming. You were comfortable with the routine you had for yourself - and now it seemed like things were messing up.

“Well if you were told to sit here, you probably are meant to sit here.” You mumbled after a moment of silence, watching as he tilted his head to the side, confused as he didn’t quite catch what you had said. Before he could ask you to repeat what you had said, you were already moving down towards his chair, pulling some of your folders from the chair to set under your own.

Out of the corner of your eye you noticed Andrea tentatively take a seat, as if he knew that the seat wasn’t meant for him. His back was straight, stiff, like he was already going in to play. You wondered just how big of a deal this guy was over in Poland, because the way he held himself with his violin said almost enough.

To distract yourself from your new stand partner, you vigorously went to work airbowing the song, eyes fixed only on the pages in front of you. You weren’t usually the one to get flustered so easily over something so small, but this piece was something you were looking forward to for a long time and you wanted- needed, it to be perfect.

The sudden rap of the baton hitting the stand caught your attention, pulling you from the piece and up at the conductor, smiling at everyone with his warm smile. The two of you were close, having practiced many years with him - he was almost like a father to you - perhaps if you talked with him alone, he would change the seating arrangement?

“Is everyone ready to practice sight reading?” When a few nods were shook, he raised his hands, preparing to conduct, “Remember the emphasis of sight reading. I do not expect perfection, but to see where we are all at with this piece.”

Taking a deep breath, you raised your violin to your shoulder, adjusting the instrument to not slip from your shoulder before resting your chin on the rest, your back arched straight and foot tapping to the tempo from the metronome. When the conductor began, the strings shot down, moving to the director of the conductor.

At first you were dialed into the music, absorbing every note you could, not processing your surroundings too much until you finally heard Andrea playing beside you. You noticed that he liked to play rather dramatically, drawing out the notes that you wouldn’t think to, but nonetheless it sounded far better than your own. Was this jealousy? Perhaps; you had been with the orchestra for years and kept in the back - so when someone new shows up and clearly is better than you, you couldn’t help but kick yourself.

Shifting your sight from the paper and to Andrea, you began to airbow to watch him. His dark brows were furrowed, lips pursed, concentrating on doing his best for the sight reading. You thought to yourself how he looked funny - like a little kid being angry. You couldn’t help but smile, despite their own emotions feeling rage.

You didn’t know how long you were staring at him, airbowing sloppily, because when you looked up from his fingers and back to his face, his eyes were on you, and the expression on his face was not one of pleasure. With a ‘what are you doing’ expression, he motioned towards the booklet before it finally hit you that you missed the page turn.

With crimson ears, a burning sensation rose up your neck and to your face. You quickly turned and flipped the page, both of you doing your best to figure out where you were, but by the time you found it, the conductor had already stopped. This was embarrassing. How could you miss a page turn? Now he was probably thinking that you were an idiot!

Running a hand through your hair, you let out a soft exhale, listening as the conductor praised you for doing better than he had expected. Your thoughts were racing, too quickly for your brain to process anything. The only thing that you managed to process, however, was Andrea’s voice directed towards you.

“Ołówek?”

Snapping your head towards your left and at him, your frown deepened, confused as to what you had said to you, “I beg your pardon?”

He went to say the word again before his mouth snapped shut, frowning as he tried to think of the word before making a scribbling motion, hoping you would get the hint. It took you a moment, but you soon realized what he was asking of you.

“Oh, pencil. Yeah, hold on.” Dipping down, you opened your case and pulled out a pencil, handing it to him. You watched as he smiled, taking the pencil before leaning forward, putting a giant star above the fourth to last measure of the page, indicating for you to turn the page.

You knew that the gesture wasn’t meant to come off rude - but you were already embarrassed and it felt insulting to watch him draw such an obvious cue for you to remember. Andrea, innocent as always, looking over at you, cheeks pink, a smile across his face, as if he were proud of the stupid little star on the page.

Before your own annoyance burst, you were thankful to hear your conductor begin dismissing everyone for the day, saying that they should go out and enjoy the sun while it lasted. Packing your things up quickly, you all but ignored Andrea beside you, who was slowly packing up, a sad beaten puppy dog expression on his face.

When you finished packing, standing up and dragging your chair with the others to be stacked, you left the auditorium in a hurry, not saying goodbye to anyone. When you exited the auditorium, going down the hall, before finally reaching the fresh air of outside, you all but grumbled to yourself, kicking at the loose stones that passed you by.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

The rocks that you laid on were not comfortable, although they were dulled by the pain that coursed through you. The thin blanket didn’t provide much cushion, but warmth as the sun passed behind clouds, the wind picking up and pulling the waves in higher. You had your eyes closed, blocking the sun from directing into your pupils, blinding you completely.

Coming to the beach always seemed to help your consciousness nowadays, especially when you had a particularly hard day. You were beginning to sink in guilt with how you acted today in practice. The universe directed you onto a path to something new, something great, and you blew it on your own personal insecurities.

“So practice is going to be held every day. Starts at noon, ends at two. I want you to know that this might not be an easy transition for you, you understand? Your accident left you with permanent damage in your hand, you might not play the same aga-”

“So am I not supposed to try? To get back up, pick up my bow, and try until my hand falls off? Please...you were the one who told me all those years to never give up on myself, and now it seems as though you are. I want to be here, I was meant to be here. I can do this. I know I’m rusty, I do, but if I just give up now, I would never forgive myself.”

The conductor pursed his lips, nodding sadly at you before reaching his hand over the desk, taking your weaker one in his, holding it tenderly.

“You’re lucky to be able to still use your hand. I don’t want you to overdo it. You know I enjoy you in the orchestra, but you have to think about the rest of your life. What is to come of you if you lose the ability to use your hand by next spring? Then what?”

You knew the question was meant to sink in - to make you realize that it was important to think into the future...but that was just it, you didn’t think of the future, you thought about the moment, what was going on in the present.

Leaning forward, you placed your stronger hand on his, smiling at him, “And what if I don’t lose my hand by next spring? Have I given up on a whole year to grow? To one day sit back again in the first chair? This is my choice, and I will take all of your concerns to the heart, but at the end of the day, if I want to play, I’ll be damn sure that I am in one of those chairs.”

The determination was something the conductor had been fond of with you. The flicker of hope you always had in your eyes radiated onto the others which brought for a positive environment and a stronger bond within the orchestra.

And now - a year and a half later, your hand was growing stronger each day, and your skill was catching back up to where you were before the accident. You were still not where you wanted to be, nor where you wanted, but it was a start. A start in the right direction. The conductor explained that for the year coming back from your accident you would sit in the back, learn sometimes slower than the others, to make sure you didn’t strain your hand.

At first you were enraged by the decision, but as time went on, you knew it was for the better. The year off from first chair was only that - a year - a year compared to a lifetime didn’t seem too bad by the end of the day. And so when the Polish violinist waltzed into the room, showcasing the same enthusiasm you once held, it saddened you, reminded you of your own demons.

He was better than you, and you hated to admit it - because you knew that you would never be as good as him again. But that wasn’t his fault, and that’s why you were here now, on the beach, drowning in your sorrows.

Holding your hands close to you, head propped up by your violin case, you baked in the warmth of the sun, silent tears spilling down your cheeks. You took in a shaky breath and held it for a moment, listening to your rapid heartbeat as you tried to calm down, before finally exhaling slow. After three more times, you felt calmer, more at peace with your surroundings.

And then the sun went out, like someone turning off the lights.

Opening your eyes, your eyebrows furrowed as you saw none other than Andrea, standing above you, with a small smile on his face. When you processed who it was, you quickly pushed yourself up off your blanket, standing up to meet his chest, looking up to his eyes.

“Witaj!” Extending his hand out, he held a small purple flower towards you, motioning for you to take it - and you did, carefully taking the flower he gave you and smiled, mumbling a thank you.

Nodding his head, Andrea stuffed his hands in his pockets, looking around awkwardly before back at you, “Water pretty.” He commented, as if trying to fill the dead space between you two.

You turned your attention back towards the ocean and smiled, nodding before looking back at him, “Yes, I think so.” Twirling the purple flower in your fingers, you felt the heavy weight of the silence sit on you, wondering what to say next. Did he want something? Was he here to yell at you? Part of you knew that if he were to yell, he would have every right - after all, you were a complete jerk to him throughout practice.

But he didn’t, he never did.

Moving around you, Andrea took a seat on your blanket before patting the space beside him. At first you didn’t move, debating on whether you would want to share the space with him, but then your heart tugged, and the next thing you knew you were beside him on the blanket, shoulders pressed against one another as you both looked out towards the ocean.

“You play....” He paused, trying to think of the word he was looking for in English. While he thought, your stomach twisted in knots. What would he say? Was he looking for the word bad? No good? Despicable? Was this man going to destroy your entire career with just one wor-

“Me-Mez...merisi?” Looking down, your cheeks grew even hotter than they had in the auditorium. Did he just say that your playing was mesmerizing? You knew he must have heard the word on the television or radio, because it wasn’t a word you’d ever thought to describe yourself.

“Mesmerizing?” You questioned, watching as he nodded, agreeing proudly as he got the word right. You shook your head, laughing lightly, “I wouldn’t say that...but thank you.”

Clearing your throat, you felt silent, playing with the flower again before turning, opening your violin case to set the flower in, so it wouldn’t get lost or ruined, before closing the case again. You were then again met with the silence between you two.

And then, the bubbling sensation brewed in you again - the guilt that was eating away at you. You knew that you’d have to apologize here and now, or spend the entire night tossing and turning with another thing to feel guilty over. But you didn’t want his pity, you didn’t want to explain why you were upset because there was nothing to be upset over. That was just it though, right now wasn’t about you, at least not entirely.

Taking a deep breath, letting out an exhale, you turned and looked up at Andrea, who seemed fixed on the ocean, “Andrea?” You began, gaining his attention. When you stared into his honey eyes, the smile growing on his face, you smiled back, continuing on.

“I just wanted to say sorry, for earlier, how I acted,” You pointed at your weak hand, before dropping it back in your lap, “I was in an accident last year, hurt my hand, could not play well.” You tried to speak slow, making sure he was following before continuing on. “I was sad hearing you play, because you are...mezmerisi.”

Andrea let out a soft laugh, his smile growing until you could see the two rows of teeth in his mouth, your own laugh escaping, feeling ridiculous at the lame joke. But you were glad to see that he wasn’t mad, and for the most part, he seemed to understand.

“I understand.” Turning his attention from you and to the rocks and shells beside the blanket, his eyes lit up and leaned forward, pressing himself against you, disregarding your personal space, as he reached for a seashell, pulling back before holding it up for you to see.

Smiling, you nodded, “Seashell, yes. Pretty.” And it was - a beautiful shark’s eye moon shell with hues of blue, purple, and orange glazed over the white. You watched as he extended the shell to you before shaking your head, closing his hand with your own, “Keep it, Andrea.”

At first he seemed to be sad that you didn’t accept his gift, but soon tucked the shell into his coat pocket, turning back to look out at the sea. You followed in suit, turning and leaning against him once again slightly, looking out at the sea as the sun began to set.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

When you sat in your seat the next day in practice, you got your stand ready, setting your bow on the bottom shelf of the stand, a pencil ready in case you or Andrea needed it. After your talk yesterday with him, you felt better with yourself and the idea of being someone’s stand partner again. Despite your own accident, it did not make you a burden towards others. Andrea was patient and he did his best, in his poor English, to make it known that he would help you when you needed it.

So when he came in that day, a glowing smile on his face, bidding the conductor and others in your section a ‘good afternoon’, he soon came to you, sitting in his chair to your left before pulling out his things; rosin, an extra pencil, and the seashell he found yesterday.

Blushing, your attention shifted from the seashell and to him, a smirk on your face as you got him smirking back, acting nonchalant while getting his shoulder rest ready and tuning his violin.

Maybe it was a placebo effect on your mind, maybe it was the seashell, the conversation yesterday with Andrea, your conversation with the conductor a year ago, or your own realization that your own growth would make you better than you’ve ever played before - but in a different way.

Whatever it was though, that day during practice, was the best practice you’d had in a very long time.

[thanekrios]

A desert of his own

Summary: Shepard dreams of a dead planet. Irikah tells Kolyat a myth of creation. And Thane sees a desert.

Note: I wrote this many years ago. Posted it here when I was galifreyas, so the original post is lost. This is still up @ my much abandoned AO3.

Let us start with a planet that has been dead for centuries. Let us tell some fictions and some realities about it. It is up to you to believe which ones are true.

What about a woman who dreams of the deserts of Rakhana? Deserts carpeted with purple weeds that are inhabited by silvery lizards she has named the afa’el. In her dreams, the afa’el sing – no, that’s not what they do, the old melodies once sung by burning stars echo in them. Sometimes it sounds like they are humming and others, they appear to be reproducing three songs at once. She watches the ira, cactus-like succulents, glowing in announcement of the dawn of a new season as the cavernous voices of an ancient creature or a sinking sun make their way across the planet, from afa’el to afa’el and finally they reach her. She hears and understands their wordless mellow stories.

They tell her of the Endu, the biggest flower to ever exist in any world, which according to legend had bloomed in an unforgiving desert and was encountered by a group of nomads who sought it as a symbol of Arashu and built the biggest civilization around it.

She learns of how Rakhana came to be. How it was once a frozen egg, drifting away in the Sea of Stars, and how a maiden made of gold nourished it back to life.

The woman, whose name is Shepard, visits the great desert of Alasere religiously. She enjoys standing there, sinking her feet in a golden ocean, listening to the afa’el murmur words in Rakhani long forgotten.

She learns of fihanda, which roughly translates to the guilt a child feels when they recognize dishonesty in their parents or in an older authority figure. There is amuefto, the gift of finding beauty in a person and seeing it reflected in their faces, regardless of their looks. Taverena, an expression of gratitude only used when someone has made a true impact one’s life, making it out of the ordinary. And then, tah-sehe.

“I will miss you, Shepard. Tah-sehe,” had been the last thing she heard from Thane’s lips before he left the Normandy. For a while, she whispered tah-sehe to herself while embracing the mundane. It would fill the room in the form of a silly melody muttered while she watched the rain pour; or as a gurgling sound while she took a shower. It was imprinted on her mind. It isn’t until the afa’el sing morosely about the last chapter in their planet’s history, that she discovers tah-sehe is not a word to be said lightly.

She comes to understand why Thane, who turns the simplest of sentences into splendid verses, had felt it necessary to utter that word – because I will miss you was but a fragment of what he wished to convey. Tah-sehe meant more than to miss someone; it was a profound emotional state of infinite yearning, of not being able to experience life to the fullest, of having lost the most significant part of oneself. The concept originated during the great exodus of the 1980s, as the first generations of drell settled in Kahje carried the name of the tah’sehen, the ones who dwell in what’s lost.

It didn’t matter whether those were dreams weaved by longing. Tah’sehe migrated from her head to her heart.

During the days, as the Vancouver rain attempts to wash away her dreams, she convinces herself that if she can capture at least a fraction of the beauty of the deserts she wanders in and if she can translate it into a form, any form, the dormant planet of Rakhana will be awaken.

For a while, Shepard considers writing about every beast, plant and insect she has come across in her journeys but she has never been one to confuse her desires with her abilities. Writing, just like dancing, does not come naturally to her. And while she is a gifted saxophone player, she was never much of a composer. Yet, she tries.

Thane had caught her once practicing one of her unpolished pieces, one she referred to as “if calluses were a song, this would be it.” He had asked her to play it for him. She knew he’d listen, he’d truly listen, and not just that…he’d remember.

“Ugliness is abundant in this galaxy. Let’s not add up to it.” She said, putting down her sax.

“When you play, I hear a reminder of beauty and laughter and life. What you do is extraordinary, siha. To transform the dreadful slices of the universe, its eruptions and its vast darkness into a stream of ecstatic sounds, a blast of playful rhythms. You create things when there is but destruction around you. There is value in that. I hope you see it someday.”

Encouraged by his words, she composes a few songs that don’t come to even faintly remind her of the fierce and dry winds scattered across the planet. She can’t feel its vibrant colors in her slow and melancholic tunes, as they are permeated by the city she sees through her window and a sky that won’t stop weeping.

That is when she starts making terrariums resembling the deserts she visits. She thinks, if she is ever lucky enough to see Thane again, she’ll hand him a desert of his own. She can still hear him:

“I would much like to see a desert.”

* * *

After Kolyat leaves Huerta Memorial, so does Thane. He sees him walk away in a pristine white hallway and at the same time, a young Kolyat attempts to step on his father’s footprints. He can smell salt and iron and antiseptics and detergent, and hear machines beeping and waves crashing. Kolyat is saying something, he wants to be heard, but what might have been the most important words ever spoken are drowned by the roaring of the sea. He just stares at him and waits for his father to react and after a pause, disappointment is written all over his face. Thane asks him to hurry up and a young Kolyat walks reluctantly towards him, this time ignoring the trail of footprints left by his father.

He wishes his recollections were malleable, he often hears of humans enriching their past with fictions; or of conflicts among them springing from a poor recollection of events. But a drell’s memories are unforgiving –they can, on occasion, overlap with reality–but never be rewritten.

His mind takes him to that same evening, after Kolyat asked him to dance with him but he refused, as he was getting ready to go to work. He doesn’t see blighted hope but despondency in his child. Kolyat still wishes him a pleasant journey, as he always does, and runs to his room. He should have kissed his forehead. He should have made him feel like he was the brightest sun in the Zahel Sea cluster, the most vital spring of energy in his life.

As he is lacing up his shoes, he hears Irikah’s voice. Whenever she puts Kolyat to bed, her voice is soft and gentle. Like most nights, she is telling him a story. Irikah was always the better storyteller. Irikah was always the better everything.

“Now as everybody knows, the Land of Whistling Dunes was the child of a maiden made of gold, whose heart’s one desire was to drink from the Sea of Stars” says Irikah.

“The Milky Way” Kolyat mouths the words as his mother speaks them.

Irikah nods gently before continuing her story:

“The maiden, who shoned in silence in the skies, knew her womb was barren for a blazing flame lived inside of her. She watched the ages pass and her younger sisters descend to the Sea and drink from its starry tides; and one by one, they all bore and gave birth to the Sea’s children. And as eons passed, the children danced around their mothers; and the mothers swayed gently in the Sea.

The maiden, lonely and scorching, continued to long for the Sea’s kiss, until the day all eyes turned to the death of her older sister, whose cries of pain were carried by the waves, scattering them across the galaxy. And with her passing, her children came to perish too. It was then the maiden dove into the Sea of Stars and gulped its darkness greedily, for she desired children of her own.

The waves whipped her mercilessly as punishment for her insolence, tearing her flesh open. But the maiden didn’t yield; she drank until no more fire dripped from her mouth, she drank until the tides had dragged her sisters and nieces and she had swallowed them whole, she drank until the radiant sea was almost pitch-black.”

Irikah pauses. Something is happening.

Thane hears a gasp that doesn’t fit in their house, it doesn’t belong in the past. A horrified gasp. He recognizes the padding of shoe soles brushing against the floor and the sharp rhythmic piercing sounds of heels. There are many of them. Nurses, patients, visitors, doctors. They’re gathering near him. A man raises his voice, demanding everyone to be quiet. Another voice protests, only to be followed by Doctor Michel shushing the crowd and asking someone to turn down their hand terminal’s sound, so everyone can listen to the same thing.

Then, Irikah’s narration comes to him in long, heavy echoes.

He wants to be home as much as he wants to discover what is happening around his body. He can feel reality piercing its way through, the white pristine light of Huerta Memorial filtering through a crack in the wall he always meant to fix. Another voice slides in, distant and resonant, and he can’t make out what it says. He ignores it. He needs to hear the end of Irikah’s tale. That memory must remain unspoiled, uninterrupted. It’s the last story he ever hears her tell.

He hangs onto it; everything else must wait just a little longer.

“The Sea, heartbroken after witnessing the death of so many of his kin, felt conflicted as he desired retribution but didn’t wish to feel emptiness any further. He then presented the maiden with a choice: he would spare her life if she looked after an egg that had lost its guardian centuries ago; and if she was able to give life to a daughter who existed suspended in a shell of ice and yearned to see the light, her crimes would be forgiven. As the maiden accepted his offer, the pale egg rose up out of the sea. She held it tight, keeping it warm until the day it hatched and came to love it. And so, a winged silvery lizard was born. Her name was Rakhana.”

“Reports are coming in from the cities of London, Seoul and Vancouv—“

She is almost done. Let her finish.

“It’s said that Rakhana’s mother could not stand her daughter flying far away from her, for she was terrified that her only companion would abandon her. So Rakhana, who very much loved her mother and wished to make her proud, danced near her despite the sultriness she felt around her. Eventually, her entire body blushed with red desert flowers and her skin blistered and turned hot and dry. The lizard curled up and fell into a deep slumber as her skin turned to soil; and her breath became wind; and from her backbone a mountain range was born; and while she gave life to many, she failed to save them from the maiden’s fire. And so, Rakhana’s body continued dancing around her mother and her mother swayed gen...”

He sees a large group of people gathered a few feet away from where he is sitting. It takes him a moment to put together the pieces of the situation, of what it is being broadcasted through every terminal, of why Doctor Michel is shaking while she buries her face in her hands.

A myth of creation is replaced by news of destruction.

* * *

Thane always enjoyed looking at her fish. Once more, he sees them travel with glee from one side of the tank to the other. He used to feed them whenever she forgot, which was more often than she would care to admit. Half a lifetime ago.

He presses one of his fingertips against the fish tank’s glass and draws small invisible circles. A Thessian Sunfish follows his finger, even when he begins to trace unpredictable shapes. Shepard can’t see his face but she likes to think he’s grinning, greeting his old friends.

From all the stories and words that spun inside her head, tah-sehe is the only one she has felt pounding violently inside her. She wonders, even if she doesn’t know its true meaning, if perhaps there’s a word that encases an opposite feeling, the sensation of her chest being cluttered with emotions; and the impulse she is struggling to oppress, of talking about everything at once, the things she has seen and done and felt. And on the same time, she doesn’t want to talk at all, she wants to reach out and touch and caress and experience.

So, she asks.

“Is there a word in Rakhani for…this? Say…what you feel when you are reunited with someone? Like you with the fish right now.”

Thane turns around slowly; his hands are behind his back. The hint of a smile turns the corners of his mouth.

“I believe the closest word is sehifa. Even though I wouldn’t use it to describe my reunion with the fish. Is there a similar word in human language?”

“I don’t know if there’s a word for it in one of the human languages, but there isn’t one in English. At least the translator didn’t find an equivalent.”

“Ah. I see. Sehifa is a hard concept to condense into a single word. Perhaps it can be defined as the dusk of missing someone. Although it means more than that. It also refers to what you feel and what you do when you are reunited. The emotional closeness that is rekindled. Perhaps even physical intimacy. The warmth you feel in your chest. And what is exchanged. A memento or a present perhaps. Even the stories that your loved one wished to tell you for a long time, when they are finally said out loud and heard by the person who was meant to hear them. How each action or touch is meaningful.”

The dusk of missing someone. That’s it. That’s what it is.

Her cheeks feel warm and her heart full. She smiles the brightest of smiles and starts to laugh. It is a deep, explosive burst of laughter. The sort that seems to pour out like liquid gold to illuminate an entire room.

When Shepard runs out of laughter, she holds his gaze:

“I have something for you. A memento or a present or something of sorts.” She disappears for a couple of seconds and emerges from the bathroom holding something round made of crystal, around the same size as a fishbowl. “Remember what you told me? About creating? It’s funny. All this time I believed all I could ever make were bad songs. But in truth, there were worlds I could create. I can’t really share them with you, not with words at least, so I made a thing. It’s not really finished and it’s not as pretty as what it looked in my dreams but reality rarely pairs up with your expectations, right? I wanted to work on it for a while longer but, after what you just said, I just can’t wait anymore. Here.”

She shakes her head and hands it to him.

Thane holds it up.

It’s a terrarium.

She had created a harmonic ecosystem, filled with lively-colored succulents and cacti, each of them she handpicked herself to resemble the desert of Alasere. She knows that Rakhana will remain arid and dormant; and the worlds that live inside of her aren’t supposed to be more than just dreams. Yet, somehow, Thane is holding a slice of one of them between his hands. One of the things he wished he could see with his own eyes has come to him. In a way, a dream they dreamt of together became real.

He puts the terrarium down with care, next to her terminal, and he reaches over and cups her cheeks with both hands. He calls her by her first name, as he rarely does. He leans down and presses his forehead against hers. He smiles a very rare smile. He is somehow doing it with his entire face. His eyes are deep pools of bliss and warmth and tenderness.

“A desert” he says. She can even hear the smile in his voice.

She nods calmly. He knows Shepard is good at locking her nostalgia away behind more curtains than just her eyelids, but right then, her voice breaks.

“I really wanted you to see that desert, Thane.”

He utters a word in Rakhani used to convey a specific form of gratitude. And while taverena escapes from his lips, Shepard hears him say:

“Thank you for giving me the extraordinary.”