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libidomechanica · 1 year

Text

Rings are up

A ballad sequence

Under matrimonial victory is my soul of ever utter; would not Itself degraded, turn she passing a tower to which profane, should say, all like Mahomet’s

Paradise; and I as a lynx, and I see that and sometimes the dead. Yet since golden eye peep’d o’er the boat below, else how she’s already yet those I needed to prize. As

the shock of summers’ pray’r; no happiness of workmanship both be appear before by their first meetings and faith is some amorous rings, or his looked as the Dutch a thick stain,

but wanton and woods are bad, and in how plenteous empression, who insufflates that avows, Support Your hairs, but when he spouse of two gold. From you’d return, they masters, both

are curst, for all my heart. And let him with the cattle are mine, who withstand. For years who, wandering light one to see the last time. All as the fragrance room, and muttered catalepsy’.

As music rose and trial needs must nothing of all hope, her the Tast, meat dressed your heaven is Cupid’s myrtle wreak’d on a shuttles the strooken, look, sharp satires, loving

Harmony. The pines. Is this dispute. And yet the Mind grow so innocence. Tallow, appetence of honouring on you most unusual sorts of this ankle during Princess:

she to me that a girl shoots with avarice. Hush and still, save the marriage past retreating Toies, your hand: there is yellow sand, sends forth a race serene! On water drove, before

it not, to the tinkling summoned into thee. Which her was Johnny has passions in revenge in one, its operation thou hast encumbered, Kate Browne, as unkind; but stay:—

she’s already spent: for incorporated, spirit in the devil’s foot of human ties, spread, from the faire, yet, not less of gods in Erin’s golden dream of her names are idle,

for lay-men, and look at so part papa, one pang of my hand, by the secret sorrow, than a two-year-old whom you so soft stars did in mildnesse well-built and eat my sleeve.

The weight of fear, like to thy sweet for you have lov’d! And oft with all our back, a king, she was one bright; there the more day by day; see my Oread contains he clung. Met thy looked in

their virtuous deeds; lilies and claim his horsemanship, oh! Beyond all try, but deaf and clear and o’erhead, and saints, I poke them of kind, themselves as well enough ill spirit, not

mix’d with Fortune led me love that utter; would lose, and with a daughter as real rain, so vertical it only blazon forth to fight for her hands reached over the day was dawnin

in the truth extolled, it is in his body how much it grew proudly sin; a bachelor he was and no unlikely they aboue louers scorn to her breast can tell us women

use rigor tint his destiny depends upon the tears because the wood. In this fool lord, nobility proceed, till beleeue me, i’ll do nothing. It be governed by Worth, and

below, in great recall for them: knowledge that’s in a room in the voice kept, and exorcise the shy touched, with suddenly green and Moon are hold me with wand’ring light, as wine from

despair when we past though I am not from heaven’s Angel whom that landing put him hastily she hold me strikes their death of youth whose hanging while we, like sea agate spreading

his voice, but Betty! Yet write of this that once more I plain; nor, till he stone where he wild words as the strooken, looking shortly ravished in sighs to this day the spring

thing lov’d, and methods and then my God! Returning in, we could say, phillis the least-wise she goes, and vast estate the worth his light air, I feed him, and, having void left behind

us. He receives a woman’s knell! A bloom of King Arthur’s reign. A fairy queen’s on the gods have gone foreground, for judgment, gone. That can be attained, I will severe complaining

put her face will last sparks, it may read a mantle body was Cupid! For hire of love; but ofttimes that he world’s bigger room beside ever was force and so my lustfull

leap, and with pearl t’adorn the goat least some rest of the fates, nor coin my strongest; there’s neither heard him, and imps he set our bays may see, walking angel pure and wriggled

further off for well if she had remembered consecrate! It is green, the more could not been to the very way. Board, i’m queen: my liege, ’ said my eyes. We studied hardly do call

our stars heaven in Feavers burning fall, and more, instead of all my argument; so was her song, chance of madness into gold or she request to skirt to taste the higher.

The good Betty’s drooping to be take thyself almost them did knead, which yet must hand took leave to say to new Elysium,

but in this morning into her draw, when a lawn’s swift forced, their eyes to ever done, and took away there are

only to your Feet like a feast day, O curse over may thy prayers, and others but grows cold spell the celebrated

and mute, in black Melancholy strangle and dance, alcides like folks would ye mighty flurry, she promises

be kept your eyes the midnight lanes that proves the girl with Hoof and dance of the just seen of night haven for the harpy

place in her she goes, an old one displease; and as good! That, the only we, but a Pebble of the knights! There displease

to deceives a woman’s force and loved, for you, put out each wrinkles. That hung chastity, but since and her presentative

of law, was hid. The gentlemen, and the intertex! And Grisi’s existence embittered seem worth is a

narrow channels their due place on me. All conquer all, came back into herself, the rivers, in the town. From four winters

store five years, it may escape the love no excuse to feed a flame shall be thou didst loue, though never sad! Poor soul,

and gleaming—and gainst thou art and died. As Lady Psyche. What solemn choir cries and we will blameless that will halt,

against the thing. Love speak the immortal fire, and the curling by his comply. Beyond thine.— Thus answer at the cattle

grew, it is this has already mixed. We drops just wrath, and over the leaves of child. To soul, one the owls began

to rid him from hill and children, grown humble grieved her. Full of pleasure is Betty, half my heart bail; whoe’er the prince at

thence, my love, below not able to thee stayed, and full of wrath half the stove singing the flood, in offers as much in

man’s abhorred and, with even-song and why are the cried the heard and undiscovering a doctor from his side, when,

on a CD of something lover call its garden anger, ever changes ever hope delays and all adieu!

” (It said, ‘What made a points in black. Each failed rehab and brightly do prate. For the doubtful bliss. Now I have a still piper lads were born, the pursuit. My stocking virtue is it, but toys. Threat of tuneful persever, there’s naught the skies,

who then said i’m going, though neither yoke did our cold spies, or call the pavement. Both to gather and the Mind. Villagers. One to say to acquainted eye—the snow hath wasteful lovers, and cast you. Invention he had a will; was he

sets up the sea. A thick, or seem’d the sun is gone and Scorn? Both he, And you, I engraft you walk the stayed, my father of any thing: my mood is but you: on your home, then, to the green and burst with shadow in three—a dismal knell! Oft

did I since that myopic travel for lay-men, and this, by Phœbus was quickly spread,—tis Johnny do, I pray, the world another gives its sleek young, so gentle maid; the hands, she and she uphold to future’s rich. No marvel of Creation

dwells, which time for speak? Take me: I’ll serve, I would have my whole sea which her with sucke vp those world farewell! All other Sestos to be hated. My future good, brown face, of tempests of horrors rise, and heels are all fair frame her gentle

here the walls! I must posterity fame! I my ain lassie, fair was the doctor from their rank though he waited time. Or his the floor to another speak to his names, horrible, hate to you. I fall for neither without a stitch on

to see, thy grace not on the gentle swain. There will say tis man boarding to try it when I hear my fate, wishing himself, I trow, loue he should, Oh would come! Praises of the page. What wilderness presence Hero, Hero much as one thing!

Too justly rain’d with dissemble too, good-morrow’s lightnings that like a silent growing, the lee-lang day, and lived whole town. Stand there dissemble—thus doth one displease the bane of a maidenhead. Jar impact collapse flash of crime, and thee

farther of a peace then he plightsome hours, better. I dream. And no more happy I dare not that him to a cypress- tree: or bid it solve if he took the name? The offender to hurt her. Black with fine Conceit of beauties ending air,

at such as windows, Lady Psyche’s pupils. Will blush of children of these were, he knew she is my despairing ale encourage had a rustic town set in silence; in touch my empty air he flies deep, laugh I am old and many

may grace which it grew a seething seems no light—when thy sins more endless that the roaring car from the trees, as all enforce accosted her since Jove itself instant to the Spring, marriage, the sky, we drops its lay But what I had,

betty a drunk with dayly suit none but my name appealing little to! The walls! And I will hardly blasted, and maiden fancies dead; those each white vestures, and tears, and legal ways, at one sole God be though I know, what kiosk

at the right: who every garish to claim his know? And, for the day was he to Susan will we have been kind love his parity who does Love speak. Strength; the week he down, as he though the wantonly, his own undoing; oh me! Not able

too, and offer, and hold dominion claim thence my roving rather keeps virtues proves about his prize, with nought to move my will die, and allows being up; and angel pure necessity compare, love kindling fire did before to

counsel then use are mercy from the fabulous for in his guide-post—he turned, a memory resign’d; labour, I in themselves with all then, ages hence unto the morning, a beauty is ever wilt. Why was morning to herself

upon thy sweet, the lasse, alas too much as one informer colours of that are to scale up: for speake, loue it shutter, the house, speaking not won, yet open blow in my cradle sharp satires, the gorge upon the reason; the moon’s

despair and helped us do the devils might his lights are carried in act, remember and dropped and hit as meant, I love finds and little room of watch a full of faith, and troubled soon the approaching looks yield ye, when your grief. She turne

with what women are but gives warning to drown’d, which else were bard shall men and with strict injunction of these rites or other rude pen can have done, now he the Black, they touching your weary be, as words made request, because each other win.

But heal the golden hook, one party is mild as often found a Hierome, by might decrease that horrors met to be

received, whether hand is no my ain lassie, kissin Theniel’s bonie, blooming, stay to honor man of broke his covenant.

Rowing guiltless, lasting Destiny, he would have armes that. Your judgment of the woman into her thought to the

vale, played but half: leave to see your love, how blubber’d is the mind, emasculated to see, and the leaned her words away

the house; he length. Jar impact collapse flash of my heart. ’ Thighs, which she the sound and still remained: but fan the gifts, to

prove among a word she doth Love speak withal an answered Love’s mother best, with one glance we love. But this fair gift prevails

when my sleep; here before my love of age, or emblaze enlivener of hers her thou mayst be the hall to dwelt;

Hero shrunk away she passed by thy pain distress’ eye Lover’s sparkling ray, and this words would grieved at every kiss:

I promise of just seen Love seen, and no peace, ’ quoth Betty’s drooping at his desk merely clicked out his two soul, assayed

to any tyrannous, but be cured. It is my love, and beauty’s an honour, and I. Both intestined the Heart,

for on a rock aloft and so effortless walls repelling flowers it is beard, and owners of tape delays about,

that I think of running spring. When I wake and rest unknowing day, althought them moue; if they lives, which beauties,

and quiet joke. Hoping to be flung, whom your Feet like their lute, came around they don’t yet for he alone shout, he whole

world began they only paid, that Colin Clout doth fare ill on the furse: mercy, pity, sir, find himself hath retains;

the moonlight long curled, and now th’ Arabian dew besmears with joined in a cage, puts all at once more overruled

by Neptune was as milder far nor his lips that your idiot boy. Through through an index to a heart of sin.

Shall happened aside to new Elysium, but with possesse? Who with the bed and hoary from their shining skill. She

known name no men, and gave it should: and no copy now wet and Caucasus; if you go. Hermes court with Cares hungrie office

three cast my heart to weep, and a hey now she’s happy I dare comment upon my burial room: my father’s

fault; I view! Cried, th’ enamoured surely; am I saying with my flying, the lute and muttered by women,

who, mixing high or tear perhaps when the iron gauntlets: breaks the loves, her if he wand’ring go through road? She and

his guardianship both heart! What scene I’ve done, now he though Betty she’ll be missed me loveliness of her bed, susan,

I’d gladly sin; a green leave: but in bail for lack so light and exorcise the world in effect at last till

you might so for my patent back against a silence. And I though the murmurs, or compounds straw into child the slender

gave, and vitamins. May rue that honour. Full-blown, before evening only lives, the moon’s in the other bless these

have hot youth rise and sighs, and durst come—to be, belovëd, what all, come, if it sends forth to that pitie the silver saint

he were brib’d the shoulders, knees are shores by the hill, save the burning mournful terms accepted, as Cupid dance, ground a

vent. Tonight was but half-hidden fire, and long a world, but not from thy selfe the posts up his diadem, than not the

voice willingly families the fuel; and for completely puzzled are they had been no place of her bliss, and South, like to

this feather. Meet more shadow loses in woman souls unbodied, bodies, the fabulous folds out of stones, old wife.

Sigh that burning shed made it into the point to fight. Shady thorns you wanted what I am, and other win. Rowing I was beloved names, whose flee, and bite the trees: what Johnny do, I procession! He whole sea has been to thy

with those only number; maids were gone, I myself to the land! Did change beyond all my argument; arrived, by pure and up again. Whose noble mind that music shoulders, knees locked as the king madness, where neither Doctor! Murders where

is on the well-built and thought to go and here all warbling will discourse; still he is obsolete. Out of clay adhered our gown going sin. Time passe: graunt one or other, was glad that can their wives. A broke, I saying, trembling, hey ding

at the while dumb; for, to bring that at once more she stream of Sodom blue. That thou art! Vowed the leaue not able to this man waste of Peace pipe on he well, and almost they trod, on earth, and loathsome to die for much in his flight, and blessed of

her round. He was in thy love unto his name is Will, ’ and within the woman! Nor ever will last spare that burning like that they have happy, happy played but since I seemed to flow in a lover. Shoot gaily o’erflow, led there want mine,

whose shadow and it that you in our stars were much; a gift in flatters by the future. Of some to the lute is blessed flower, jove might that poesy has passions will injure the bound, bade him out; ’ and a statues, polished my plight: I must

be here, all women love, and the new rain and dive in all the gorge. World would he adore a silly braine not due to the wind, whose body how I will never gives my meditated a wind, when we shall heart of rooﬁng and flowrd, and

no wind through water. Like a visions of her robes, her before, have to choose; a fairy guest; receive that is beating after sunlighted theirs be the last time procession all thing central to thee? The secret heart, and still with prayers;

my mood is but from wealth, and I say, all mirth, nor forbidden first word scarce a step, moved me a challenge, few who love will be ascribe but her deity, the crone should let him on that the cold water’s bring, forth plunging his voice he reply,

seven bigger room in thy best is dire. To be hateth with daily new and grafts upon his power to part of I wasted: the queen. She pats there’s the parents to win who will never fightingale, rapt in his guide

the heath and hills of such makes me wished, the lips: but as our kind love abated, fearless, broken, the markes each others of eternal World at me.— Thus answer his cares did she goes beneath would not blow away she gave guess my eyes.

Very part was movement and faith reproue, nor I half an humble Maid: the better for playing to Heav’n; dispute betwixt.

Why is milder far nor his feast deceit: he always open blooms, and almost despise it. Such towns as Troy; sylvanus

weeping on to return, with what wilderness, she sits, as he took the queen. From sullen earth has he turned about

us perpetual night was as much disparaged to a cypress to torturing plague pursue their chose: Fabricius

from mine host to passionate heard, and sings but as our lips trembled to plight. Doth tears, for obliteration to

painted maid: but if flame, when birds were of his queen’s on the gorse; the true when this hands, maintaining. Of the Sheepe, such as

might his plaidie, kind of it my feet the villagers quickly were never pry—lest she court, and sighed the flowers, and

temptations find, and who has gone; only Herrick dies, clasp thou art by promise did quickly steale some days eternal

bound to soundtrack of cowslips they could pour out all the clouds interstice of residence. Perhaps it part, the demand;

here the wondrous fair Cloe, how the church, and then I begin we wished his Cyclops set; love kind. Of senceles trees, those

small rewards my loue, while my very courted hairs. Ay me, Leander dares? No more if they cannot prove against thou,

fairest weed out the heart to though gald, and mouth to pledge’s perish. Now, thou up his decreed that here’s joy in their

loss in blooming water, and the last offence, and shot, loue gaue thy flames object, as the rye, the cannot how tenderneath

to see that hides his pair of vermeil cheeks, that from the edges of counsel the king the more overcame my soul

abroad with she wouldst thou goest safe, supreme. Through certainty dish to claim his prophecies, one in these lovely-head! But

yet I love sails to all dare e’en death would grieve and honor the gardens. If you father the fairy guest—thus do their

brevity to the king suddenly this way—or tell my coldness reigns; what can I tell what we escape the ragged

beggar, though but thou returned, she warm, and good collect a power the baldness would call me of our flesh and rent, frighten

all I love a like exiled and she toss’d her, and even Road, and clear March night, both wings. For I cleaved to bee.

As the name, shoot gaily o’er the Touch, and plants in verses throne of promise did yeeld; more luscious sung, dwelt at Abydos;

since Faire is—SOVEREIGNTY. Is gone, I burned, cast my poor old Susan lies onward went, leauing himself in dreary Mars

heaven’s asexual orchid that in sign her naked fires, their feet to get out. And, like a peace, is over the

large pedigree! They went, as if my year, at best, and I’ll lay, whose majesty, shall selling stars did melts in her mind,

and higher, like true! He called it last! Of his Largess. Whom all many a sound. Mother, would see, the kindly coldnesse

fresh, and to keep inventions all weep while I brew my future by a hand in the Humour ever light lay! Risking

the enlight to pass the field sleeps in tune, the bright revel, plays, as consent before me like Horace and rent, which so

soft bed. Have sipped up-stairs of a pigeon tast complaine, and ran intoxicating rather mantle on the band. I

am your own at Keswick, and clean again her thoughts to die and still rebel nature, what it was a serious

odor, a moral odor, blue in the spur she hies; tis wish a husband we have kissing old with convinced that like

Mars bare a will; and a ho, and Poverty were sweetly quickens when he’s coming hope, despair when He, the mob of

workmen and ran into him, called it is green boughes doe raingear with to-morrow I breakes; stella, loadstar of

waking none, the peril keep in me, and by his back, that night, Betty will, with both be here turned against their way. And

once had past the town, to be sure that in me can tast communicate in giving the pallor that bliss yet the sea.

And yet are their death, O clamorous Leander going side by her from women, whose Head the dyer’s hands she raingear

with lilies and she, you know, who, moving spirits memory ran.—Must a little wreaths at every rafter will rock

thee, phillis the slavery my springs made! Thou in debate, like most not, the spoken, love, freely gather drawn by

thee from an humble manner of thy perfumes into the vast estates to advance a step, moved with dim and for heart

and take it ends, and this worth is subdue, renounce my love’s arrow change your sex is frailties, and thinking to straight as

there’d been, on better part of fix’d, but gives overlooking sun: beneath to send them and rams up the court arise

to her tears! Now with the stretch did he the reckless of her robes to cry aloud; it heavenly features once

intellectual eunuchs too, but them gentlemen, by dying. From the tumultuous Shout of Soldiers stand There is shaped?

Breathless thy great lords in my Ear till the proud, and the churchyard cottage, would vouchsafe so much rent, when misled, and they

seemed. But her faire than she said, who taught to love so severe, two widows well if she music speak without complying

into place. From pleas’d to the bed and common Teutonic for pity’s sake we are mix’d with folly and faith is his

houses sever. Wretched the said, did after half of what am I bound and how change, be absence roll, and slowly

through beneath to further of a peace; no doubt that heaven raining and to your adventurer sips there at least little

thus soft as this sonnet brave expansion. A sheathed to skirt to skim there’s the ocean- stream, who, mixing his cracked

at a quiet joke. Blue sky prevailed, and now should do it wrong and thine, of such an into the cloudy, gracious game:

hiding great provoke him. Then though a bleeding lov’d Eloisa spreading her eye, teach me nature’s chime, tell us true.

But of heav’n. Hero thorough dreary waste of all I have been miser stars did Johnny’s left of things to one especially

do call his hand: but if that loue and see what a little birds, with Cares hard in our hands beneath any chance

they could wed in port done with the shepeheards boye no better there made his bare hill, save thorn, he put on her men to

be receive thee relenting eye glance, but have spring. Some covering in never knight, since and I myself to the last

of my race of thine. Began to gaze o’er, when, waking of spleen. Finds at last I saw for lover’s counsel may come, she

looked thee see thought, and dismal lyrics, prophesying cheek all on animals, Imagine you other name and hast down,

and ran interline its pictures, or a grassy meditated a wind, white, tis truth is a journey well, I painted.

Chance might me twas thy queen: my liege-lady there I with my soul: come, to herself to pleasure lost the friendly kiss

that month of Greece or Ilium any gods whose voice: next Corinna, for a skin lies deeply grow very limb, what wonder’s

serve people suppress’d with sudden guests, tapers come to love, and love into thy great harmes embraced, be both for me.

Sudden angers themselves behind. Packs. Pray, hurt him from crime remove, a long paused a whole fierce could you hear me out. As month of Indies would makes me within, which Nature stars, and

your fate some hidden first I met thy eye, and Betty he wild woods days dragged beggar, that you wrongs and peaceful stately I a garland botching stay. And raised, while that rites of the

children are not to love of true- love’s sole God be that moment, a green and thereby, yet detest bud. This Courtesy to the doctor’s door and woof from thou one. Only Herrick’s

left it into gold? How after red. These long your evil eye and you so sound. To deem, as a dream. She fingers good: the sweetest the couldst appeared; and sanctity she’ll be mine.

Thing! Hawaiian-print need I was tied, but haven fet, would not to blaze these: nothing her was endowed when thus beset her? Is gone down, your buds did stay to turn she begins

Leander minded; if to stir, the guide. To souls oppress’d to marriage, having spirit is born. Of Phœbe serve when thou hast command the height, as it out and have I to the secret

trust and inspir’d! Would young hands of his love and if you fleet her? Or other wide sleeve. I’ll see it from eight cloudy, dark tresses you resisted once Which hath wasted, wherein.

Have eased away as well, and other will ev’ry motion and then I am she laughs, breast. Without pretence,—come, turn

in careless than she is, thou be’st born extend a kiss—thus dancing in thy sweet looked brow and two are in October,

the kingly tribute to her husband, first religion disapprove, where at full of dirt, out of the Spouse of heav’n first?

To guerdon is a flower when I scorn, good-morrow’s light, he said, the knight decree that still the dear delight, was pacing

tresses that. A kind that the wound Leander going of the knight. I fear, through the orchard of more, they sat,

shatterers dare tongue that what am I that indefeasible to thy heart’s thick as death. One voice, her idiot doth

kissed again, she fled; and some Eyes taken of their sabbaths here: ’ but death in my buff and blind men can frighted looking

waterfall, lest if a word doth one purpose set to take its thought, Lover knight. Give all sore that’s so pleasure shady

there was not yielded but been such storm unfolds. Of love are at midday. If loue, but bland than then my God to follow’d

taper, bowed her and cross’d: of him wait, susan, I’d gladdening I uncloth’d mate taste the spells and my wheel; my fair

gem, sweet Infanta of that was matched in port done without a guide. She kissed her life from books colors it to followed

without what all. He bids his bed stiffened by Worth, renewed, say, after his lighted care found no private life he council,

plied thee, panting soul! Milton appeared the trees, it had full oft he perish, can be old, nauseous to the Mind, and

plants of love a silver former luckless, then as though I leaues doth make. Would I give for swarm as been inches him dwelt

at Abydos; since thee descended least ioy, by nature’s worth of Greece to have take delicious, doth stand wanne: thou would

come to concealed leander’s look. For who has its seraphs should want, with pedestrian Muse not unallied to them equal

husband, from myself I see a face, mud. Alone. Make a nocturnal carnation aid, or laid his two sides doubled

line: but, as the queen myself have hard for the woods days one, the poor old Susan’s grace, incense to scorch and greeting,

as every garish to cure: there upbraiding lies, or were blueblack and the lake doth Love speak of flowing: yet doe meet.

Idiot boy must we do cry. Or place in its which I wear. I wake to the stood. Not a sigh to the avenging

madness. Between this, and his love the falling from the lily’s throat. Stay, see the springtime, the ocean-streaming river.

No bad exampled pair, and clear. Yet the embraced, and their should be thoughts that seem so weary words when misled, and botching,

lawful odes show it. Beside, and nothing to your subject, and loneliness. And limb did, as tiny as any

man to give they things it be he is hostess fort where held his long to granting rain; the frontier: they are you been a

cold earthly sounded, your hands, the mall set the place in us is sweating, and Grisi’s existence are the housemaid

were never pry—lest am I love; but in flowers thus array’d; the owls have heart is bed. Good-morrow I breathed

angular and corrupts the fen she went on my waking misers keep his breast the pure and performed them the scent, and

full with lots of Cupids skies may hold my poor Susan’s scope, we drop equal to the rose of our sweeten so for nothing

Spring, I address’d me of yourself their lutes did sable eagle field did deny him that uttering eyes. Julia

and I have chose: Fabricius from the town where is my Johnny is just gath’ring a White, and saw and quiet joke.

Thou know they are you letters by. That we lovely in. Sweet Ministering Triton sounded thus, her possessed it, lost foreign

thine Image were blown by Desires and Earth with arrow bones still wilt see the barbarous Thracian soldier stove

singing: Today I bake. Then couples, swim in yourselves our four kind. Maintaining done to weeping? Already turning

in spring, and in whose what all, and them, and wondering the peaceful still, and wept saying flower girl and twitter,

and is scarce suffix was opening glories, in and wonder thrust from God: nor hath no one especially do we

you, but, Betty Foy, and’t shall be to-morrow out of all: not thee loath. The noon of night, and ears, they sat, shatterer

will bleeding his tuning with his sister-tunes and of paragon; and then as plants all else, I know, who the motes the

golden earth or mould, and Grisi yet loue, contain a cool as I found, and aye it chills. Cast done: roses; or three year.

Their found; I took him, put in vain. Grown pond which no eye should injure the midriff of dewy- tasselled trees, learne heart.

She knew that, shatters wrath: he stormy state; one dark webs, her on we never will becomes a clouds are themselves and linden

all he is plaidie, kind love unacquainted, viewing Leander as love and builded ship, O Moone, tell what you with

as one to herself upon desired. Now, what terse muses! While prostrate the world’s green, and lips that has his mine. Or

me, for what full persons, to the Feild, I grate on rusty hinges her ears were true! And two bodies, in spring delights

are bad, but slanted a piece of the pulses the midst, the mind, what want mine and glow on the Eyes the cherry-pit:

she trick. Sense by naturally—imposed upon breathed darksome shall surprised and heart let Heav’n; dispute between us, I

see a text that Johnny here, even in her troth, and I saying, Let your idiot boy! She though yet I lik’d but

the least behold. Went Hero’s gentle, and you resisted only thing beam of heaven? Drew the hare I saw people

fort,—white of spite of Peace pipe on his voice whereon the husband, you know not,—only things, o’er they cannot find, a heaven

in despight was all thing. To my sighed the moonlight, and to some vile esteem’d, which, hear me from Thames his desk merely

a notion keep: the wind, whose majesty, shall we most! His sinewy bow he the rush, but like one! I see a face,

of temper’d guest, best-nature says: My children, grown old, when he then my song, and icicles. A slave-maker, who shall

silent as thereto; Honour strength; the meadow sold. Euclid, Decatur, Union, Straubs, Rebecca, Bennett Ave.

I live. Her wit, require at full-stop here. Am forlorne, alas too my fate. The mirth, nor hate, if not force and

hail once might be, to the sudden silent landing pool of air, did she choose: would not but change of th’ approach, your

day of youthful fire, a pleasure and reserves his own undoing; oh me! Now Johnny! His body it grow, and thither

sake, me in one swear; yet every door; in their graves his beating, and ever-blooming wars— and Lady FRANCES drest

In the house, and you hardly seasons making. One night paint Woes black mark upon the houses of any gods no kill

or save. Now weight; the moonbeams to make a lyzard dull, to take the lovd, or some gross error lies. And sacred vestments

and sweete soft a tear, my pilgrimage of regret—no major tensions Wit can birth the choice of blood, the wife. Leander

lay, till I wore he never be endure, and cannot tell. Nor mix’d my deeds we do cry. No where this gold fixing

beams falling nature, law: all be its peace, ’ quoth she went, full heart wilderness they are quit this request: ’twas I was dream.

But the flood strawberries. The bleachers. Did not losing no such an insolent, you were wing, the longing at this head,

and fain by strong in youth to hell to the moon had not I pulled him as an insolent, you think, in its garden when

like him; but gleg as lightheaded Bacchus, cool that soon wild- flower does Love speaking intellect some better top, the

said: twas thy destiniest birds. That the village stamp and watched with the dead. The little court other. I saw the knight; and

to thy grief lies by my sight? Thus youth, full-blown, the king on my friend, sometimes that light to go and his bill, hoping to

grieved at high upon a Thomas, or a grass, because of others but all the moonlight that living to get far when

I pursuing, and weep. From self- discourse I did late! The guidance flew Love’s fruit. And Betty well could you hear theirs be

the dizzying orator. The walls, cast you. Are in your pain? Goat footed sae faithless ran a simple rustled: him

up. And virtuous Love speak? And I call night the truth, the famous tale, left her if she had spreading room full o’ care?

With furs and fortitude of Pallas and doubt him down below us is over they been doing! Now, euen that scenes my reasonable suit repeating, and what are not to hell to thee. The midst, though the down, to court and sanctity so

near; for as you. Master of straw and two bodies me, a something to cadence all, and lately vile to sing, though heauen gan over and brothers’ seeing his virtue knows where to fit folkes each care, pleas’d. Him great loue might herself she knew its

breasts relenting she was these lips? You run and weary; but I love you alone. To spurn in Olympus dwells all that wind would not betrays he seed with my life would challenge, few would not be beloved not. And wish with Florian, my

abused when pressed, then to such wealthy Sestos call; Stay, that princes we ply thee see thoughted thud that avows, Support Your Right to watched each at a quiet, as it cherry-pit: she trees, and slide into and sere, my time all is a maid?

Sleep from the day: they are but break)? —Worn and few great courtesies our share, but he. Dead, he hold that someone alone like

slaue-borne Mercury, the ball: it is liking, at the churchyard like to duct tape deluding us. Dear guest; received

by some Eyes be better firefly- like it and now the siller, I dinna envy him so, as put to call it

childish head Uranian Venus’ nun, whate’er before me likely they shall not more, sits sadly he had thus, o pious

fraud of wrath: he stroke of which only blasted, as not moved an old hostel, called mind? It chance gave his book appear?

And often knit, my life would not thy life, my Julia, prime awhile and seas of fragrance ecstasy my heart

forebodingly, among great labour, Susan she, you were needed to live into the morn espied, for I must waite well

by the fair. Shall be to-morrow to see how each time of night some one bright revenge the railed, full of cowslips bind and

more holding eye glance still die, nor a tear, my pair doth. For thirsting in the frost of Pallas: Hebe Hebe Jove close beames,

and obdurate mind that sounding yet cunning o’er his horse, thus he cannot be out of some dark webs, her that whence made

the plain. And that quiverings peace, their goddess he took exactly what dying gales through the roses form. Compare, to

me my pensife boy who is here, two widows, Lady FRANCES drest When love you thus bold. Is neither friend! As he reclin’d

without complaining, ding; sweet together purple weeds, and limb to lightning, and what the distance, the reason armed,

o eyes and at ever, as he went down and the charms, and late! When, in discontend no more; nothing billow, it eats

into my mind, or lost in aspires to sing, his horse, that were he shattering lovers use to hear me ere breast:

ev’n then did she begged and duly done by night, thoughts my deserted villagers. The owlet in thy care, but well enough

the more grace, incense to sea. The brute blood is change us, neighbour of them and revel, plays, as hard the rites are.

All on every door; inquired. The woman we loves. Since themselves no help, and be sad. And heels arrive ere brib’d the

rags of gin. Each others by the stoure, where the apex of it. Longed. To the dregs of living lonely showers, and there

happened before. Handing souls unbodied, bodies, no tender fingers ache, my sweet smell far worse and go less. Maid, your

mind, emasculated to rise. The third day there in a vestige of love but mine and paint. Country folks would trusted,

as he imagining arms and clean again? But a guide the basest not, happy as ye: and as good neighbour of

the distant to be call, am Master face; they’ll both are o’er the well, which within his spheres constant innocence. Then

said: twas gold of grace this thine, the world’s great say-master of light; but scalding hopes are the spotless here, laterally,

as that sweeps through the night paint em, who puff your Villagers. Yon banks and keep Touch waits in the doctor nor his sights, remorse,

begetter’s bed, on all hope, gay daughter, holp to lace us up, and that he did befall, led through certain, not

unallied to marry heart bail; whoe’er the pavement of the vigour of three-score; such night, as to advance a whole

trajectory’s tower to Venus but did I sit and noble thought—meet, if they met; but, as it well the moon the wine.

Heaven press’d with a notion, stay! For which prove what suddenly, took him, by a forests should have I sang all, and shine, and singing his laurel: her gains its ears with pearl. One must I roll, and the married Venus’ nun, as if in consent

and thou shepherds’ cells, wherein was Protective diligence to fix with Stella shine. Answered; the dewy spray; such a race, which so be knows all alive. So Admiration and uncontrol. Then, since I am burned, a memory of

tomorrow’s lightly black wings from his had Venus in her ills—a scattered, and will blot? Come in evil tongue does his destiny depend. With cheese and Nail, a stormy stoure, while with numbing to you: the blew bubbled, till I not go, thou

shalt given out that vanish: wept their splendid names, horrible, hate thing. Ye rugged rocks! Whose tardy plumes are things—I sought he hope for a little the future barks, with the fair, ay me so wonder; in the doorknobs and plucked out the chart.

Love than she, have passion you would celebration that else but in the strook. The woman direction by their heart thy

phantom arise, and Behold, Tibullus, next, with no runway light as it chance, swiftly blur into fonts met in shadows

the spring. How many a long attention inflicted up, she strong nectar—starling breath the leaves be kept their

goddess of powerful hopes it self destroying wind,—and night are shadow loses for age and then she chapel empties,

and wings when look’d about the wood. Since first Romans chose, nor coin my cups the king to their mistress, and droppings on

the lute is blue, the blush, and low- brow’d from the fire, and haply I think that is born. To a lively fair friend must chooses,

cobbling ayre a sister; darting tress; and nature heart shall never lost, lost Eloisa yet might be better sped,

seeing ironic about this still rebellious heart, with Cyril whispers that preceding here an equal and this

explanation slide in loue; if stones, to sing and out the find no child wrinkling flame with angel mine, with light of love

themselues did not, when fire, by all we willed, and supposing of a peace that grace to hazard more furious book.

For crystal I confess with dew, as our dear so weary grown to deem’d to the leave: but if flames refineth, o birds

are in his holy strange in one plays about it, but in aspires to mix with avarice. Her for mermaids’ singing

and gum, rich being lost, concealed, which had a system I shuffle among the female kind love through they may grace;

a mother ends you sorrow, than that I stay; sad proof how with reproue, and locked at even if these may the question, he,

made with pyning mourned. Nor, till tis fir’d; not to see how it charging his brethren the strong their eyes should know th’

Arabian dew besmears my uncontrolled, as Cupid a boy of you, but, as thy fair! Collapse flash of mud and

understand it will ever meant the last chills. Beyond think not one the Nose a fresh and something, or moving seemed. And take

car crashes, books frame, is sick, and blinded race, three April perfect kind; what Johnny? Phillis these have lost, and far into

the Northern star. I want pitty? Nature was a marriage, then, much like Hebe’s in her mind thou in debateth

as feele things huge and maiden fancies; loved by their mother. Which taught to my thoughts myself to pleasure, and all this

looks and stillness; in the tapers, are stars, and let me lies onward went, and in his king to your faithful to seem in

thy wit depend. And be wisely want to fill a heauenly Grace he gave no frown. And me; as loud as an earphone with

the rightly train. Beg for some devoutly prayed so long so caught to know how she street like that far away into gold.

Excusing the flames best to good to face of fools perverse so base in the grass, he often swore in a Dream Myself

a large and ever, beauty’s angel pure air, and lately azure palate in discover the world another with

one poor. Colorless to her minded; if to stir with a ghastly draught him from th’enameled sky all her bless thy

sweet with Decay, to through dreary phantom arise, to take his simple children after him to a Midwife, let my

plighted. Such plained aside, and still we willed, and force and seems, to the servile clown, who were demands, she stands conveyed.

Have I sigh’d and methinks his makes a piteous showing loud, imagining girl shoots will dictates, severe complaine; but

in bail for very idle, bethinks with him as any mill, or near, quoth he, And you remind my braunch of splendid

names, and no peace some lie, beneath fluorescent-curve, close for that is that he went on deceitful urn. In iron

tyrannous, but a dream of her brother aims of a chances not my native of lawn, clear as possession, which the paining.

And the reins, spits for sport at cherry he does nature stars heaven’s assistance, her vows receives nor fast and nothing

and leave me? Nor those tears, that, may it be grief makes her stood thanks in and to smile than perceived; so your mistresses,

and walking out; laid in travels on fire, a pleasing ev’ry fear: for faith, another counted chaste desires and

consolations of other name is Will, ’ and wept saying, trembling lovers, in thy steep pine- bearing and other cite

throne, which joyful Hero this tuning hands are sailing; the black mark clean against thou would die for a white walls; therewith

sulphur blended from the way, but a brief emergent passed. There none for loves, her hand once thee, panting snow; or be

allow; even he, of love alone, O lake, ’ she spoken, sweet love and crave. He wound Love, where are not with caroches,

all round, and an old acquaintance tell what shears not from time than dream of life, myself and Him above the air, and while

I thee to banquets, Doric musick holdeth scorn, and found; I took leave, and place the graceful still, save the engines laid

down with a friendship’s names, an amatory fails to resisted once, alcides like slavery moving parley,

to brother carnage taught the first leaves. Stain of the cock thee a heaven’s assistance, swift flashing to make a noonday

night. Her mind was you might; but speech, faine would, that thou wilt; for it; smiling purple weeds. The accidents her blown about

her neck, like the earth its white robes but a floods them with transferred to your roseate bow’rs, celestial canopy, with

my name, august her golden strikes with a daughter as real as I; but stay, and at these he receive his bonnet brave

statue warmth and rumour evil sprite, thy worth to field and make a lyzard dull, to take thou hast my poor Susan’s force.

Suddenly, took one informer! The pony moves and though too weak they are you with my Book, in my wit to make mistress

and troubles you walk the cried. That fall, and modesty so near, though her behind brothers, little wreak’d on a round

thy loving her eyes of counsel ordered with he turned to thee. And, knowing Hermes, having no defence. Out of, as

one is not at first word by his belly; and shine beneath that Johnny makes through pores of me to compounds adrift from

year is in her less, and talking, come home, cried Betty she trees the smiling river as a loves, her brothels of busy

fools may streaming—and gainst allowed up and, as she did before set upon the darted, loue to brother ends, go

your alters hue, and Susan’s scope, with one darksome rest, knowing in the devil take heed; with Truman’s attire, for

John was forth, that I have her looke loue doth abide by her set the earthen calm of fire from Thames his murmur of their

fame; in bed she, have power to die. That wicked up, she left, and in this in heavenly nymphs’ enveigling Harmony.

I all are nothing but she, while prays, her behind us. Rose-cheeked Adonis kept your Mistress; old Susan then,

to the iron net which to the women are we; two of us: that provoke his either Doctor! For I am

no woman’s attiring, for springs. And thrust from his spleen. And in the great labour and if I weep my outcast stay,

I have given us letters hue, and bishop stay the moon the Hall, my John. Like the moon’s in all Compexions serve.

The mirth is no heed; of such play upon a shutter luckless, broke and old, such if the word Miltonic means I find, the gods no killing out with affright was spring free, he knees having naturally—imposed upon thy care; but some

amorous pleased with more solemn feast. The snow and quite at ease; and, if more endless life he cannot err, like a Statue roses taint, half-canonized by long, and awful odes should knows poor soldiery, suddenly this day was, To-day;

to whose sweete soft bed. You run and other pictures, all it that hobbles up to all such a pleasure clothes on in my buff and die for thee, when thou art my poor Susan Gale, which lose that has his murmur to thee: then with the autumn turn’d

Love,—only thee. See how it is neither self shall I have the recorder no song but the scent, and heels arrive beforehand. To get the rest; which, after a time we were with me—a flower is that pant upon desert smile, with horrid

thorn; was’t for fools may seem certain fire above the Mind grave lov’d idea lies: o write your greater nymphs should pull him before me; whither. Of tears beguile, so strain’d, how after the world will bleeding here, she’s got it, rubbing vein-channels

of the bleachery, were whipping with Fortune follow swifter the same, and in his body was almost they trod, on earth: their love pursue; to reached this remove, or the autumn turn’d to tender heart grows and Helen’s breast in one sweetly

on his sin. To pleasurer, Of course; and, he underlip, you know, by the clock to be called on him the bed she to bring His names into the mark clean again with lots of glee, that the devil box out of my heart, you wilt thou often

knit, my father. Meet, if she made him on that hears, he would blaze these last, like a well-known as what: on a suddenly her before me; whither Breeze lifted press’d; give salutation seek, my faithless ran on an indrawn breath that from

the stayed his rider love; if he welked Phoebus gan availe, his kiddes, his covenant. While praying, that one of two are in the edges of the Seas Seven in its wings be shed over Orion’s breast can be seen, the love no

excuses did imprint that runs alone for lovers parleyed by thy pangs be drowne not tyrannous, but Pallas bold began to pass the certain summer winter love your advice, for thy selfe doth makes thou wear my father’s hand, and a

hollow sounded old dread to hear each severall warbling in the last for thee, for Johnny! The clock gives my mouth when like one beweep my vow; the owlets three descend, as if her pastern nymphs and trying thus him in your idiot boy.

But when the rising much, and silver lutes did charmed! The phantom flies meet. Kiss by night. A thousand prayers with time, should it move the very behind. When I pursutes of an

accessary needs the fen she hurries fast, which in my heart and set his endlesse pain. For in the Door of such a season a lovers use were blown than for aught he rested

men to bee. And seal the land! They will breath this the word were in such a sort? The frosty Night her pastern religious crowing invocation dwell, and honour. Was tied, burns where

is scarce could sparrow to love has slave of that spangled, and Susan’s life, than they begins to accomplicating seen dwell. Are of—succumbing conveyed. ’Er before take his joy.

Sometimes delay across the gentle muses! He who has lost in laurels for pay, you harder haste, officious earth from walking and pity mov’d, ador’d ideas, allies,

kings. Gasping on dead. And sleek you on the care heart. Thoughts: bryers alone with God and write me all faith I said, and all the might have the dim yesterday? I come, with a glad poverty

descend, and snow and my next door she trees turned, she love and sighed to foreign lands conversion by thy pain, for another’s minds intice. Leander an Alien Shah forests

shook upon, to bring a ding, ding; sweet the lets him outdo. That to learn from her than weeds. Both pleasure lost, concealed, forgot force to forgetting, and looks which not Itself its

bonds, for the ground, and laid which with the rosy cheeks but a glittering little world. Attends but long star, not even so high renown of that near the lips: but as her spent, all

meed of eloquent! Sends that least are left hand, seeking rose beside many would you all were it like a pedant’s wand to work as hail. But when alley: they call vertuous Shout of

Soldier, moved his sceptre like one bespeaks the lie unto the face you shalt obey, and’t shall that Learning lamps around to hear their fathers and fell like that viewed he drooping t’

have felt to bestow. That he stamped his cares did stay that, the charm, and only one I fall for very joy. I come home leave to see: and ears, where it lies not Heav’n; dispute. Honey-

thick mass of day; all is well who for one. To Paraclete’s white rushed and bowe you, sir, to arrest th’ unfading organs to free from Indus to veil was not yet I

may fit, eutropius of its long ere the sweet smell may you both crown, he put on her stay, and with the strive, our true passion in my Julia: he doe loue, ioue on her eyes the lie

unto his holly misinterest and I will dictates, severely a notion at the water names are rare and of the ground the better see Brooklyn, which is no my ain

lassie, kind of tears. While I talk a little, lips did she, you know’st how guilty of our salary; was’t for ever call laws but of curious moment before, I see the

Princess; she, be-times twould you be like the stinging here the other keeps virtues prove my whole sea which you dispose, made a myrtle was as ugly as any may read and swore

he short tunes? Thought, from op’ning down. Them close, that mine eye may be. Want is a hierarchy which pye being on you do not; I would in his bed the basest mould come a papa!

Carnal apple, Woman filled, wept, and plucked the faire triumpher of ashes showing, senses all that’s impossible and

the very behind no trace to live singling teares, the Troop a Sháhzemán, by Name and where my shouts from thine. But

still and doorbells when I appears, wherewith me—a flowers her eye. It will right, that Johnny vile to the skies; the

oldest any place: let it fades out of passion every sight, ’tis that glow as therefore me lies by her face all the

procure. Such a bridegroom to give your unhappy is that I would he adore a sultan? Of trial needs must going,

of dreadful fire. And shame, by rage as wine desired some more sole enemy. Kind love remembered conjoined to love.

Central to the intended: laiko, Common cry, till gentle bosome canker’d jealousie shall speak for noise ensues, and virtue hath but thou would makes his poor. And peace this severall was a punishes and if I have gone, how blubber’d

such wonder’d at these lover’s Language wholly misinterested men to behold me with my life would enjoy they seem to part was never line is thy soul: come, my love is in her legs. These discuss; and whate’er was her cell satisfied

of any good which there burnt me speaker rising sense of the sport a-bed; so your Villages, and Pain than forest side by her in himself without this returning dews impediment. I wish you alone, a neighborhoods we

moved by Prometheus, and from the more. Neuer sea watercresses placid, plays his mother keeps learned much the soundtrack of unthreshold, Tibullus, I quaff up to the dwarf. Do not get from Thames his own undoing; oh me! Set in

the aisle. Such is no need to me a challenge, few who long, the Touch waits in the hears the child wild Hippolytus Leander, being a ding, ding; sweet love that this weight, but half uprightly draught his life is wanting, pale, because to

say thus for a white-plastic-gloved the truce obtain. Less all frets but chastity she’ll give a loving still and a moral man wastes, admire; warm-light to me. Stella, whose voice with pearls, contagious charms he mark upon th’ all-beauteous

spring the heads of fragrant again? When looks were awful, surely; am I in the bone dry voice I seen, with the dark webs, her bed, on her neck, like a brazen towards remembrance room in their presented Maid or Nymph, or mortal who

wedded within a year a son was up, till five. Have still tell you been was never: Thus throat, its operation that I an accessary needs discontent, happy lot. The narrowness into my lips in these lips Loues decree that

indigence around her the age of journey through. They harped on the world farewell! But hoped for my beautiful state, hath filled, but of herself a lawn’s cast: a little man. And yet the twain, that in a sad quandary; and woman when full

perfection of annoy; stella, in what is betwixt myself thy limits strange. That pair became though it was. His leave, and pray’rs nor mix’d with his prize. Bob, And fall amiss. Singing, new- perfumes he spur cannot say that beautiful servile clownish

gifts put man’s abhors themselves on Hermes could spin gold, the phantom arise like a silently with a prayers; my mood is but as he his speech, fainting o’er thence unto Colchos born at the half residence. Rear him; and, as he

spotless held so in Grecian mayde delight, hers colder? Then stand strange perfumes, and with lilies and raw, long did the bright you would have caught that burning hands he did tuch: while with my flying, tremble; in him her running. Yellow, and swear no

where the leane, I must be good do t ye, gentleman of Dream Myself to see: and Jupiter unto thee: the king plan; forget! Ah, thinks I do not palsy or booze. Before, to lash of child the storm has prove you. And yet am burne

in the news was he imagine you exceeding a battle, and so dear. He deny, in middle of our olives its pricking on a shady walks, which, from myself I’ll call forth from man, three deserted village stamp and gone far all

therein the leave to served to go and her he been. Dear guests, your Feet like any of my heart is beads of a Power to watching reefs. With lilies scuffling in your eyes; for speak? What Johnny’s in a simply blur into the Falls look.

We drank him in his guide-post—he turned, cast and dance, her body now signals, even their head; the coming home, turn to see the truth is subdue, renounced again what tedious tale pursuing, a beauty, like the palace which time of

nighting the world before you for comfort poor but found aloud, imagining eyes that so part Doppelganger trying nought me. Tells me flying with the same floor, which was so full, or to keeps virtues the pony’s head, and strange adventures:

oh gentle man who withstand. And now can I fall sit in my discontent, and the same gross flattered and to the cold saw’st thou, O sun, and dumb with furs and to say. It was many a Jewel of Creation at the tremulous least in

thy love that pair of vermeil cheek Hero to his never hope to see how each other, as from a selfish grave: and as you so love, I am the Spouse prepare you are doth makes to a swoon: and once so dear self degraded, turns and

all the watery face unto his name; my spirit rest my hand she went; still, my Company, have no more; if better thence with yield ye, where king sainted in Royal Robes, and wish to confusions, dear so well, do Greece will be false, ere

the colour, Ah, be among a word by his horse shoes, and oft looked behind, and lonely officious age, had her, or thee a gloue, but, by himself in her naked trees, where I decree that one who mends old and doubt too had taught of fire.

Then what I will full choir cries. Oh Sir! I needed a dear pony’s heart, and sacred sureties when he cast not,

the right, there are then said i’m going of your pillars? At his side, as she deadly draws near that the loss of power

to reveal, to be cured it. The midst a smooth live. Since flood to propagate spread they want you most enjoy the brow sae

white paths, embellish am I but made the Praise the proudly sin; a bachelor he went, would a mandrake roots her

beautiful still return and read it, complaining arms. Was almost crashed, there’s none, yet, beneath a city, unfolds. I

to thee remaine, would make gentle muses have no more she such-wise she spare the gods in vain. There once I loue? When frae

my Chloris part, excusing nought for my past years ago or just pleasure is to torturing rush hour. But still, each,

in maidens, on the same. Or move, or an unshed the pony now doth one Beauty made the striking brown with my friend.

And no children, grown domes with my future that swallowed war, that equal husbands of a king, senses in our sex

desire; for they seem when the water and desert smile than dread repose: her gloomy shadow steale some instinct the

Braine.—This is no my ain lassie, fair gift prevail than she shady leave the complex too, to knock again, on her note;

there would be thaw’d or harshly jar. Full-blown, who love thee pressed gazer’s mind! Upon its godlike guest, propp’d on a giant

deck and gone! The bent they see no more I decree that was before, to lay his hand. And all round it was not my name,

is in my meaning that I might needs discontented Maid or Nymph, beloved to go yet thou gavest, thy oath, and

I thy life, redeem his mine. The nearer that I was clear March night, perhaps they fed her to other running at my

sight, Betty spies her tower his like scent, and yet there is a poet, poet nothing but he that love is subdued

to floated free of all hoar with angels, muse, to speaking league back my friends an urn hers could I put to help, and in

the glorious book, the clay adhered homely ancestors were renewed, say, after line salesman or word, the very

scholar poor; gross error find. See how the sex aspiring eye to thee: the law in my soul began, the oldest and

down as lover such wonder to find no wind no place; in him by consent, as the lute is broke and I stood on a

blushing eyes pursue, rise in these our changing his line is old Falstaf says let us e’en talk along tunes which thee

alone, who had the knight. And often look’d, tho’ but in vain was thy Will, ’ and woxen old. Leave that’s asymptotic town

set in the night to council, plied himself, as out of a dreadful fears impart, it soon to resist they thing things here.

Dear Cloe, and here be, who mends shone. And she be fair tho, the certain dark cave, and Grisi’s existence of Heaven’s

asexual voice, he replied: The rites; there widows, and a hey, and be wisely wanton stray: the bound that Rumpelstiltskin?

Herewith the king, yet being a doctor’s door and emptied soon, ah, soon be back against times to mix with mutual

render not meeting, as ever meant but some vile the heart it was not in deed, he slid. The world of tears to my

eyes. For long for still, yet was tied, did shoue: each other, was pricking o’er all the fame keeps virtue comes back, saw Neptune

was a mile, the knight: nor double penance where enamoured on the real rain, she is, thou be, to the widows wed

as a bittered our proffered him with his bill, hoping t’ have my state compact; that the crone: then come this parentage,

I dwell near it, meek as a braveries lively heat, like books entered with wand’ring state; and away throws a deadly

draught to grant as this is how white his arms and, so like Samuel from hill to sounded, hardly blasted, and knocked up,

she such a king safety in the same and low, mount aloft and spends upon the gate shall joy but the trees nor bough’s motion

and with tower, imagined Hero’s toward the king; sun and with his we were renewed, say, fancy to ask these lips

with his wear, through a ruined by some more graceful ornament of memory rankles. Mars carry meeting, and whisper

in a dreams so pleased her way: these metres meet for your four kind. Communicate to none, yet he swains, receive a

greater nymphs and ugly, well by the queen. All like a split broils the cool the warps and troubles you, a speak withal an

ancient horsemanship both earth, sings of Leander’s look. My arms; it glides away; for whom thy nest of thy cruel, my Johnny!

You say to advance; for surety, that month became to train. On all her back, the downward courts is of abandon.

Beware; for sureties whereon the face of female particularly sets him on that Midas’ brood shoue: each other’s fame: but nothing intellectual eunuchs too, lest waters and paint my Lover’s een, what fury of a kind

delight that need of being more sharp temper, the moonlight herself or face. I the skies, wherewith made from your faith I swore her legs. And revel; and nothing. Marriage past an amorous habit soon I had, betty a drunken pleasure

to steals. And, being cruel, love my will no-no. The Troop a Sháhzemán, by two for my name and I myself thy Verse, which mething thy answer the loins engendering, and echoes talk of love, how blest and small rewards remembrancer

of life’s love you this generally, so was the fetish boutique, those I need of horror stone ice-cold water, and the bride: by this huge charter of mine. Is but rapt; not with yield ye, where—for no one coloured out of some ancient hand

shew the lily-of-the-valley. The ragged slowly through he needed not youth, I rate as kind. Circling with long and wrote, too awful thrives on her death? Not grounded in paint. Nature was one should arrived, their brilliant repel? Would I deign

thine. Woe, where Venus in her backs with my eye! Myself too has its gains its bonds, for truth or more, why choose my innocent, nay, what to free and loathe third degree is much rent, who were he spun the welked Phoebus drew nigh it, like one was

broken walles to sing, he went, as the joy o’er the church, and Love speak, my fathers mind is gone to some devouring, whom all their journey on the whole sea has left of the world had a juice in itself have rest; too justly draws its ease,

and battle here they touch thine. She sits her idiot boy. So that to the king; and branches high renown of the place, that the world encompassing. Cold and but that are we, ’ one voices of a king: three gods who’s always opening of

his oath, and murmurs of eisel gainst each other comes back, his old and more she shock of morning to drown his hood, explaining day. Would you should send a reconciling tresses, and may read altar for me may the green, deepens to grant

my Love and short they answer. Spending shorts. Wet and everything the best; yours has a dreaming— and my plight. Never though neither to keep Touch, Wit mixtures what with king, you shalt gives. In ecstatic may the byrds were, over-like is wrought it

might break thy turned at the damsel gay in early exposure to Frank, to her bed, as one is time, when most crashed, the world or so did seem likely, wished as horse? Dearest Julia, prime felicity was the thinking only grown old, all

charge could you the flowing whisp’ring it out, my heart his did me to be made more the god put Helle’s brand, and knee-high tide of fools or her ruddiest house, and here you of the muscles of the country-girl betwixt them gently beauty to

be done, he quite away on a flower; a cat of flame with repining, ding; sweet in silent land; which th’ horizon peeps, and wearing out that piano? A pool in subject servant for you had kiss I coverture. Mother,

wine design’d to me. Of life, you thus it not: should know fatigue without all was quiet—dull fence of my race shining hard the ripened to Mars as he apple reddens never sinks with airy flight, but bland the fair on they call, and bade

theirs, not heart. Or, maybe the last he castle her long so mastered to gorge dimensions some days drew wide sleep! To leaf and lately, left her idiot boy. What venged on Bond Street, Home, Euclid, Decatur, Union, Straubs, Rebecca, Bennett

Ave. What happy here, played but the silent hours, the king, you should not to seek, my fault that are crowned, about this hand. And only proven abortive but you pinch a flowers it is the memories! Said and, if dumbe thing lovers

use to scorn, good surety, that flowers of the starts there was Eloise? Steal a thousand promise did beholds an altars as my call its gross clay and she must wears already turning trim; how quiet joke. A deadly fatal name!

Almost diverting flame or fades! By nature Hasan—on the same floods, and though streets, at they proclaim: then cause, we

easily know; as loud Hosannas rise! I must hand, seeking with a feeding look mildly fling, blue sky prevail, and faithless

and wanne a face, ye weel may we enter long have been for the sea! Swift doth beauteous show so yellow and oft the

crown’d, bright, and keep their vanished my beauteous empress Shadow in its godlike glories so late? Some intellectual

eunuch Castleress are endears, through neither she rose. No though number sore, johnny seeing in my cradle shall earthskin,

which, after, this primrose, and love yourself or fade, accosted through neither heart was all me Papa. Tasting rather

the wing of the should ease both convinced that I spoke of our feel em most. I will blame him? In trance ecstatic marrow,

it hath but told her: the end of great master of the miles about forgot. The first to know the famous tale,

left me for thou feel’st a sin far worse and then! Thought, ere I often looked at him down with his eyes: I gave no more; if

stones good counsels to a thousand dawnin in the rose, thus soft, a heart in life. She And in how plenteous Mind.

Thy grandame apes in such as from op’ning day. No more; if eagle home rest my heart, with fingers to his pow’r away

she talked, would not thy face grow long to embrace with me to be found no child. And every part to leaf and lived, their face;

in his back, his last she spake, I say, then fetters of a bee! Come, Abelard! There is sin. And Betty Foy with gilt

starry Gemini hang like a girl he turned in Dust, not Itself have been such a king, and no cure: theretofore:

he whose weakest flattery loveliness, we gains its love to find, some merry he doe loues decree that till Morning

so charity! And he taking; he care doth shall sore these to die for it any place; crones, O eares, the

lines empaled, much less of his branches the fishes as the flower in all, she stagnates to know off with the

door she said were in being and rent the way to yield up herself the floor she favour of thee the Optick Nerve, I

would never find. And wise, until the rest upon the gains its bonds, for I too am constrain’d, since that he statues

learne heart, you know’st how tender, madam, if I weep each other, looked his line its cheerless, broken means which is here, in

whose land of it. Come, my song, and the wind, which love abate, like a vision grindstone’s ceases— I recall the fishes

as the first, and liuing dying lover and half resist? Fair sun, and wat’ry star when you been to serve, abandon.

Played the roaring the side by side. Unless I gaz’d; heav’n seized. Of moon that has but did ring to you and Helen, I thinking touch, and then thus beseech. Those spirit, not long time. And on thy heartbeat fester shore, to angel pure and I as

a dower he got his pockets but chafing me like Pygmalion, found thank yourself, to numbers the power like a shipwrack treasure suffix was often must be her green grew the shady thereupon twould makes him whose Firmán the Seas Seven

bigger than nymphs and polished, the virgins hymeneals sing, hey did proceed, the brightly shine, so like Theban Hercules, entered with a hey nonino, for unawares come thoughts removèd by oath to see how each in my song, glad

poverty be my upbraided crime to thee. Up to thrown, I have still the lassie be; weel ken I my ain lassie, kind love themselves be blest, and she, your wall a knife, too awful; odes about his due; my spirit won before the wife

affection. And, drunk with it, Follow, follow’d like to do their street harmes that drink delight, themselues did not, love, I am the ball: it is time, their hearts unite each otherwise, nor tears beset here’s neither garments sweet love has

fallen dumb. Of aromatic wine, who ever cheered, that might me wish anguish, saved her still darkest hours before truly, waking man he had to marriage, then, to be reveals, as ugly as any Love fleece. Thy sight him harm. But ne’er

so sore? With headlong the op’ning down, or she rose without her feeling lies! As these may be still deformed by me, doth his coloured of which time of nature’s rais’d, search, sun, at our Britain’s on the hand to say thy place rest, I go, where the

enlight revenging me on fire, a please herself the king more, each care. Under made the trembling watery fair was he took my harmful deeds, when once of nature, later, we could play upon whom thy nest of Maud and believ’d the Doctor!

Truth, the other’s service discharge, least ioy, by nature, let me behold. Alas! In view they met; but with nectar bowls, and fell at least are you most logical concealed, as judges of ancient height o’clock,— a clear. Were I decrees

I, forc’d, so late of the virginity is neither way; soon on the colour children, grown old, she hies; tis sure is plaidie, kind lovers use were borne beforehand. Plays, as men, are the selfsame day was dawnin in the falling how wanne: thou

gavest it flames! There needed to proved we both for my corset- lacing. Fancy form’d there widows wed as shepe therefore me all the flowing guilty goddess held them moue; if he is, to pleas’d to be to-morrow to rid him for thy regions

for her treasure shabby fellowship, well who does to be hated. And, as he music driving loneliness, their brevity to be drown her eye. Like those terrified vague as winters, both are mine host to flower girl who will not

turn my view? Of Soldier, moved we both love. State and by the Horse of clocks lurch past wet wind would call, and clay, your home, the knight. Lies dead; those tears! Now, to Tibullus lief. And majestic may taken, mends shall discoloured sure, for still five.

Dancing in them. Plays, masks, and cooked intricately as the worldly bent, i’ll do so forget what I stay; nought that concealed, as judge of the Baltic deep, great pleased, prolong trade with all the sight some care he should have still, alas! Thy sweet with

all the wedded with a dazzling lid of God alone for what the ivory skin lies dight. Invents new begun. I, greedy love your wish was only Self to his silence at once so dear object to thee: but, Betty! Our very strange

adventurer sips But still at morning things, and gladding car from the noise he replied him, and, after you as good: the little, as I watchful Hesperides; whose white rushes life unfulfil. When look’d about your pillared pool of air,

thought him from myself I see my little man. And now they sped the devil could not shows the supple me, i’ll rather have happy is the fruitful Mercury. Less sins are; foolish merriment did I sat down, of life, with the open

halfway throb like enough something here is every where she the fuel perish, can be banishes to cry aloud friesing with even-song and old, that bosome care-burdened honey of the bad corrupting, flies dragged beggar, that, she said

i’m going’; lit a taper, bowed he on’t, and all dispense a wild wooden—I saw you for compound sweet, so removèd by oath to full, or in the Browne, as we may, we will not man, to be accosted her purple was a man, she seem’d

to be vengeance strawberries. On Hells despair when like to a fire burning in a race, so as soft, a heart is beads of her spy. How many a darkness melts in Christians Ah, more the couples, that thrice-turned. That he answer makes her?

In the water-fall soothe my pype, and apish me! The clock is on the came when I came thou that burn to live alone for lack it breed dispute. And Johnny goes. But kindling flames;

but moor tonight you tralineate from their full oft he peril keep it; being done but hart did I know how first leaves failed. At eight of a base of journey well the wing, come, if

there are stern age council, plied himself in doze I see your approach’d standard keep one colour choose,—it screeched! The queen was I using thus about as loud watercresses. Tho’ many

a darkness and doze; and, seeking resident’s mouth, and exorcise thee in heaven that he would animals of my head, overhaile. Teeth of Greece will had weight clouds are

grace, then, and tosse in round to the rich chokes and hoary from City Hall to though the sea! So broken-hearted, sad, our eares hard the bride and her idiot boy. Is not stay,

and would choose. In such as you are maid of Dian’s through they masterfully rude pen can have I sigh’d for dare not to hide. I am old and weep it will rot, and like a wrinkling

stood. Even their feete could come and tower. But inwardly can say, a blunt plain truth, I bade the sea should animals are nobody throb like my life filled through Sestos called hear

my T-shirt that ring to groan, while her as love alive. Now with win grace with she tossed, and make fair, in such a seasons making. Suddenly betray a husband women most new

begun. The faint, and the knocked and hit as meant, I love to you! Where they went, leauing his light is fair framed, I wish resign’d; labour lie. Then I, long have seeketh not Itself destroy

the wing thro’ cells for years to burn such appellants in mine; for this kind what your wedding grape with Stella shine in a moment’s tooth is shun the cross’d. Haste, and peaks up along with

arms and vitamins. Himself have becomes again what would you been cut, and only me for love thee of Tantalus, she sits onion root the said: I will I die! Was a married

lady, and pray’r; no hand like an artichoke but of view. The flies, and gave it: and wings from expense; they never done by one hands you say to you in your darlings carrying

Love, and stay till try, but first leave, and dare no gloves; for in joy o’er his speeches from the Tast, meat drew the vulgarest Julia: he doe loue decree that shears not fear, as the

grass unbidden roses fly! And winds to a lively is but change beyond this generous rites; the business of the event and nothing. May one tender your child wrinkled like

to all thy fresh alarm, so thy trespasses. And Betty, Tell us true: but, as luckless, I am not full of wronged by which public manner of our meeting; so that blood

is but love and done: be dumb; for, to you: the ghosts, his head was but empty honours her body rest. That morning I come heart. But gleg as light, their deed, he seemed to those world

accountethered glory frost and with a loyal people do one summer sweetes; let thy worth in the would grieue me. To Venus’ nun, as Lady Psyche, Lady Psyche’s paths

of the reins, when he is my very courage had a willing patient, I will ever call it anything it were renew’d; which Nature vex, to pleasure daunce, and momentum.

By your diminutive villages, and all thy gyfts beneath, O clamorous looks were of Loue inspired and ugly

night she strongest; the ocean- stream, whose talons held his lighten’d all in war with Truman’s forced to see the truth, the

owls must choosing! At his plaidie, kissing their statues, polished, murders where at full-stop here. We simple child the sport at

charms might consider, Johnny vile, the lofty Cypress to kiss; for noise ensues, and title too, where I the sun, and

help of shame. And wan. Her gloom! Let it down, alone bespeaks up as tiny infinity, while with me—a flowers.

Homer, the side now, and what to his neck in touch’d, but deaf and be no men, are very strange inspir’d! And the Doctor, looking it from his silence of trial needs would wish springs there comes back, the certain patience these tardy plumes we rustic

to deplore, as river-water and poor, yet for my eye like a kind lovers had Venus’ glassy bower? To leaf and lost. Nor should I give Earth so sound complex and thence: and hearts united two bodies unclosed in thy soul:

come, my heart, a lifetime. When Venus, answered in the great she coming did silence behold as airy steps, O Moone, the fair, whom for that trouble deaf heavy cheerly swum. The attention in the new-mown hand, may I, poor wretch’s knife that

o’er the dawn’s cast: a little dry voice of their eyes, full in loue; and the vice, we came. From so fresh spring time. My stock from year to you. Who is the pursue there nothing to help, and cunningly families and lover, if on wing, or moving

sense—thy adverse part of a pigeon taste loue did she jealousy, the judge of journeys he springs, but some gross before, Love deeper was here almost the trees turned out, my other rapture of human tear shall I can give alone.

While youth the Mind, will your painted. As she turned thereby, yet nothing bread altars as much it could not do thine. By this,

Apollo court arise in the lade o’ my soul! Then her pain, and doze; and while the world’s releasing ever. Likewise

the jasmine and half an humble Maid: the morn now lifts his placid, after a time shall plea common be made banked his

sights, till injured by a form, I see lawn. But love made the state discuss; and a gentle swain return us two sides

down. You humbly made the spies, which it bringst witnesse free, which had coming you not in distresses, and in effect you

have power to taste whole worth gives, and breath. Of a song? Lies not my breath for mirth, nor left aching the lade o’ my soule

to sing, a beauteous mind pure, by the crown, I got the dead, the blush of mud and mute remembered. And thus, her break the

next, a prince, without of thy heart was spangled, and shakes it should have chose: Fabricius from the better part of women;

all that bloom. Without of these the spring a novice, where and hold out the eyes were whipping wind. Now should be contented:

when I begins Leander at the fair, as loud Hosannas rise! Could you saw a fields do sing to embrace they

sat, shattering ilka bud which it shock of jar impact collapse flash offence; speaking no suits like to one, let me

down, advance and I sit and her idiot doth inters combustible too, to keep Touch, risking it? Then shall sides

down to hide that he shoots with tears, and while budding, ding; sweet maid, how he shock of unthreshold, Tibullus, I quaff up

to thaw thee, where at thing the falling hard. Has been bound therewith sulphur blended rabbits, cows within a miller

with softest down from the fetish boutique, there wasteful Time debate, for priests, the dead, and liuing dying day, shone sweet, so

removed with numbing connecting his brethren, youthful gods. Fair sun, and cooking him by it and every man who whiff

it. You naked neck his early and cunning and prayed them vphold. In all Minds best all in war with a dazzling thy wit

depend upon my friend and who had won. Good Betty’s husband wooden—I speaking of Out of curious book.

The hare I saw thee, gaze upon. His leaves, black cold, cold valley- fountains; a heart, and thus, o pious fraud of horrors

of the sang of elves and sickly re-enforced, they must end. Went away, thought but once removed me a garden! Eternal

heavenly pats the clock gives war, with nectar flung, strive nose, from books entered in the creature, glad to hell remaine.

Both please his with arrowes cold with my lips have I managed to tender now, perhaps he had rather was Hero

betray a husband’s honour mouth stuttering a king, ’ he said, and square, in all that is the queen my God to be pure

and found the sky, vaunt in the realms of power to Rowhampton gate she scarecrow has passing. And to thee: but if so

befel in these not due to Love? Born there below. Oft did melts in her limbs are still and goodness catalogue of something

breeze lifted eye, and dumb nor blinding arms the court. She wished, and Loue, I burned, ere made her. Which celestial noise ensues,

and, like Titan from an evil take his father’s hands, she asked of her voices, tongues could not in life. Made a thorn,

had the flower, to what are were sweetness hair would win Stay, so I waking of all. Goodly royally; and as well

the rapidity of bed; good- morning; the played the feasted us, and tall, and otherwise, until some captive

maid; then safely tread, propp’d on a sad quandary. As river- water name apparently appal. Months will one, its

operation poured sun that he came, august her was strook. How each care, pleas’d to do the Mind, will halt, against a withered

the will say tis very part strove to pleased without a glad sighed deep, laughs aloud, whereon was seen, the knight, Betty Foy!

And then my song, song, so well, and weeds, and in our mind pure, and a hey, and in love’s happy he went, and good and I

pardon me saying, from year to the queen sea agate spreading amid then did stay that, the rein thou hast to consume

us all, and gold, though better. Thy azure circling life or less, and with blushes scarce suffice what full sailed, as thin

lightning understand with scorn whom you once I had all that of the thunderstand it will blot? Sets him quietly have

learn thyself another. Would, but kind lover’s een, when this impediment. All as the bride: was near than his golden

Morpheus in siluer field sleep; here grief I lie, beneath this is so debonair, as her hands; true loves of my help me

at once in visionary maid whose left hand how white limb, and one and Pain is moved with taper trembling a number

one is lord chief justified the midst, the sparks, it may escape the spring time. In all I cannot losing of Hero

shrunk away, my life a carefulnesse well-a-day! In these rites in the country dwells in meshes of the World

seduce, and glad, and here is light grove, when most desire. No silver bound are seven! If Time debate, a Francis

called it Venus in plates some one who saved her lovers have low down like them masters minds, but their brevity to this

kind why will: nor hasted thy sommer prowde with his head of the king on a Gem, his father’s woe, plods dully on, to

be lov’d! But longing fire it, all in the good. Thou one. To one, its operation I consider, Johnny, mind was

young are true pass untold, that twinkle in threefold their days of mine rebuke! I feed a flame appear, Thus the first that

was cutting thing shine, and keep on talk a little delicious Speech many dainty is my little, as birds. In fulnesse,

it was not meets throat shall joys to pearl he came, and my beer. That I will severe complexion seen. And woxen old.

And the women in celebration to particularly sets you soar too high tube socks that the spheres constrain; in

vain, had not drink delight, and checked at his long back to you; good-morrow to freeze, I freeze, and would spare, unworthy things,

and apish me more. Are you set him whom I would ye might have lost Eloisa see! And not a bride went Hero’s gentle

part a bar-room and fruit. The better to be seen it and you my oblation of all one nearer than share? Love

only vocal with God forbidden make fault that tape- recorder not meet more she spring with nought can blameless of

drink, lest abode; assist the Braine. Bed-dent after him that o’er theories, and put her idiot boy? Are the silver

spring, unmoved, cold wife was a marriage past the heart of my harmful deeds must posterity fame; before, and

worse thee to me was proxy-wedded with all the hardly sparkling rather keeps the Topic over the ball: it

is gone, I must be: for so it selfe didst forsake you! And oft lookes: thy limits stubborn pulse, and Lover’s eye light

as it come. Is not show it there burned, ere made the brought how tender dare not unespied her, who though thought in defensive

anyone. Sudden anger of mine and wat’ry star when you often looks were sweetest thy life eternal rest!

As if an houre-long to betrayed, nor I rasher ankles. I love is in her will aspire, unworthy thought back I

was the sea has learn to steady Writing; for pity as men, much grace, asked all round, and talking a ding, as in absent

from your tied her, wine despair under that fainted fruitful Mercury, their seasons making mission to ride, so

was hid. Like untuned golden eye peep’d o’er the mounted on they length forth as fragrant I may have right. In fulnesse

fresh and a hey nothing do not even for green leaped aside according to straight dale, and here any of marble;

the news so much more happy state; but Charlotte such a soul were mute and affection and I deign thine Image was up,

and pains spouted upon a tree dropt, and all the watches a sovereign monasteries so full before, instead of

blisse; whose that’s the light impart, and queen sat lord of his flaring to man, absolves our at our housetop loneliness.

But Betty’s head from year to you. Or we contain on which love the chair, as loud water the skies; clouds of the blood will as an indrawn breath once again all think back to me, whilst then is feathered them with my soul began to bear a’ the

tape-recorded on the seat of the bare; but if thus to be more cause its through the moon in my meaning that is tired with thee, where sparrows pair, nor cheerful hopes from the distance. Springtime, the churchyard courtly troop had learn from a selfish

grave. You too. Men come hours, the glories shine. At his like, thy mounted been kind love of love’s seas of fellows—true—but poets gave; and, being short that lighter and scratch with my full oft; and whom you laughter by the question with the people

shouts a grape with ease me of death? On homecoming Soldier stove late of your brow sae white lines empaled, while with the room I stood on a simple Hero answered echoes of common, common be that’s feet, and lips Loues indenturer

sips Who, in act, remember you’re dubbed knight with! Why art to purchased by thee. Played, my faithful god of tears. See in prose: and Johnny is not much in horse that’s the sea! Come to gaze o’er and round, which means to a boy of your courted hairs,

she heart was strooken blind old, for understands and pale. But we remain, him whose weight in disgrace: but, as this fated or doomed to them. Like the gilded ship, well enough something eye glance peised. If fallen dumb. It chance telltale chased by

each others, little man. And oft the bride? Or travelling perhaps, and sorely played and all approximate and your ease his soul regains high degree is much disparaged to make him. Who, in and favor that will day; I stretched his second

heated so. That circummortal men, his never lost you. Suddenly, took great; his beautiful creature forth has left to share? All around, vailing Hellespont to partiall look like was they lay embrace that it must end. At all, and the

late may returning like the heard the bone dry voice, wherefore himself in heavens gave his gifts in view thee, and gone! Forgive it singeth: o stone, unmoved within us is so deem’d no pretence, and all, his creast; and the birds do sing

to find they right. The chaplet and morn. Then if thou didst for a health away the quarto holds good fathers fallen in them. Men’s views remove from eight consummate taste of that dwell, At last of a Power to whom the edges on growing

invocation all that heaven sent with roses fed, your hall, which seems, I therefore I love; time will prate. Features for even in the gilded girls are stern religious would be our luxury! That which only teach me at their own: but

if so befell that every words shall to so base degenerate from the comfort poor Susan Gale. You wanted here is no heed; of such disparaged to Cupid’s myrtle was borne in the first; why the Ready yet to get out.

That stern nymphs’ enveigling the crost, yet, beneath thine. Under the pain, for her this, now her. And lately into the brink she leave heart leaps in thy Herrick dies, nor wind serves all decay, to take the prey of those I needed not be supprest. Least in the Lion’s breasted in knots of keen delight:—must away. Thou art my love to the Mind grant lawns, goat foot we

lose that is born. Northern star. The mirth the Door of Peru. Of Time, if poverty should Arthur filled and rest thou, were happy as ye: and as any hope. Even we, they treated or done, but in despising slain. A suddenly fair Geneura, with even-song and faith, and it at least enamoured of stately buds did silence. I heard brood shall

never see Brooklyn, which her handmaid fills upon his pipe of all they bedew’d the sun is gone away, the door, would die; for to the Fates were, this answer, and poor Susan’s side, is silence; in touch therefore, have the Spring on her thrusts him out; ’ and after sun nor weep: a maiden fancies? The nectar from the immortal men, his twining huge chart. Lover

solitary tower, descend, and my mouth to please turned once intent, I see my home. For another without pretty ring that side; for noise of Honour strived; the dairy- maid expect my hand, sends that is becomes the merry goblins’ hall, and no more solemn day, when my one containe! A dwarf. To please the new emotionless thy limits strange

heaths, where are subjects, the foreshadow grows perchance, swift force of the morn brought the Black as they both demand are the rose, just hand they trod, on earthly fumes. Than you might as that fiend thy thing is dispossessed the little parley did not be bequeathed sigh, another’s amorous eye, teach me at the talking. Thus far fairest Cupid laid and, afterglow as

the devils might be bequeathed to the question’d whole flood to proue; nor jealous God, I the stain her Cypress-tree: or bid me to the ball: it is time, I added predecessor he had foretold, that clustere and fro, and Johnny? Before me like slaue-borne before I love is a journey throwing invocation pouring Prince I seen, through the figur’d, as

a horse nor would be nothing the file yet detest bud.—Thus far brought me with nectar—starling chains, with discourse and dawnin in the full case to each other, let my heart, you might be rash, nor starry you, ’ she love can see. If I had rather thinks his eye, and lately sits, all alone for I must lose noble never give men, how could you had sound. When Night

his dissemble round. Grow long to get out. It eats into regions run, thick with bulrush and scratch with mourning girl he turned as one another side. Stands an arm of eminence mongst the lips they length is hid from thence brink she loved by love away she would he begin to Mire. Except for everything the mountains flowing I was this blessednes exacts

there sparrows all that entire common cry, he who insufflates the mind these rarity arise, stain and shot a glad parentage, I dwell near to the moonlight long- with-loue-acquainted fan of curled, and while they shrink ashamed in misty Acheron, heaved his own. Lest wall a knife in evil tongue trips. Her limbs are slipped on Jove did but base: base

in thy state here is now be stuck out to find, or lost in the whole world. I had love unto his head, and then his guide-post—he turned your starry you, ’ she looks, the last till my arms; it glides away, my lifted eyes can iudge of marriage, then, and die. Damn thyself grew a seething thought, from young are the will give the virgin’s winged horseback have wronged for the dark smell

of dirt, Nothing star, and glow as in hands that can easy man, gave a touch’d, so late, for what is thy flames object servant takes the talked, and the son, but if flames object servant take delight to move among the feast, his liege-lady thorn! In the same dread the scenes appear; and aye they were borne Mercury who used to hear, with garrulous lest thing: my mood

is but draweth only child wrinkled holy pretty ring to make you scarce could pull of sex, to rob her necklace as a small around hereto; Honour is purchased away twould pour out and from walking while my version has general onslaughter of despair. So as soft stars did banishes ilk darksome corner of life, no clouds all the North, and there

nature and Art: I could not so with heard him, looking in dream, who, moving Harbour, yet forgot how to each other before I decreed it down, and knocked and battle heart of the award honor thy sighed to you. Let it suffice that the highly set; and tumbled till you laugh I know holy sit playing fit return empire praise. Again the more

from hill and almost affections of unthreshed corn bows all resign’d. And play, and all the dale, that tedious tale was common brought, since first word by her name but hart did each respect wide; the next day smith marriage-knot. Would I give his passionate and gold, and honourable vows receive performed and ugliness, or like worth an Indian for

sympathy. Is a merry Spring from the breath that leading her with more spacious rites that from becomes a cloud I follows and something stream is flowing: which yet I see clean against her pastern age like a step, moved far, to which her head, and this, my bride and this, the vine of man; these lover’s Language wholly whip, and wound, vailing, gaue repulse rest, he traffic

prowling tress; all in all: then she courted fortitude it gives, and eke tenne thou oft interline is gone far as the couldn’t remembrance snatch my brother, would die like adventured our lives; for maiden queen’s only in my hair is dressed, embracements. Without pretty ring when this grace experiments which down from expense; the mount, your mind with a

loyal malady should Arthur’s court the sea. Strifes, murmur of the strooken, and springs for a vent. And, seeing in, we could provoke his careless life we lived with my little ease and heels on forgot and years, and in his graves for I am to form and from me. Last, nor ever call lamb chop yet the cannon-bullet rust one colour, Ah, bed! See my

deserving still things beat felt the fame you are merry Spring beam of Time, if poverty’s an hour ago, and the dim windows shed. On his breast. Nay, Betty’s but your substance, swifter than the held up her heart-throbs, and sailes drown he laughes doe raingear with Descent-curve, close disguise, whose voices, tongues court her. On an into the high, bob, And fair?

But been a weake confounded that poesy has wreath, O clamorous look. I found; which bore my lord, and long attending

still anxious moment. And gave his captains spouted up herself the water does not admires such. Lilies shined and looking

Daemons all my head from the gains its grossest flowers to shame and groom who have vowed. A memory resign’d to

skirt to the whom their love into thee: make but base: base infection, stared he drove, and worse, what a shepheards boye no better

barren of loue it seems, to worth, Thus through, instead of am’rous youthful to its thorn! What, may it well agreed, yet

know the day that comforter! At the midst a smooth my name was mine. The first relies, and love is some carry me away

into the Northern star. Hide it, and hoary from him well; and see what harmes have power to Its delicious nature

wept, and queers? Have vowed the laws, and go with lovely is but chaste Hero dwell and still and thus, nor long his parted

up the sun, how after a time is warm. A blunt uninvested the vice in thy bloom, lost in me. Not to secret

trusty night as Circe’s wand; jove mighty violently turn this moment, her the same flood to prove what worth in my life.

As if in patient, I will keep a heaven. They rightly train; in vain. Devoid of the reins, when Arthur do? Vessels of this the door, would say, leander, being look there the grass by night a kind that we lay? I seeme his fair; her

beautiful, but still full in my eyes. I had led through thou will dictates, sever. Who withstand. For thinking chaste desire; for incorporeal fame whose live in a dreadful fears; take back again. Leaped aside to new Elysium, but

infamy. And pull of seraphs shed his life from better for our neglected. If we stands, she set these bonds of the Feet: yet were a Body perfum’d with a notion of relation go and like to do other speech was one sole God be

the world upon a hill far from their imputed graveyard. To sing, hey did; but now that wakened, about the thief sae pawkie is mild and ugly, well as White Turban on animals; and mirror. Lest I, too credulous, with fear of

despaired conjoined lets into his prize, did flowery ears old; and raw, long so mastered mine: but strange in zero gravity. How after chastity. You to me. No longer than they? It’s choice Myrrha for a little, and laid then to

gloze. Love scorn to cry o, let me passed, which on the dim window- ledge that. Beneath an unshed thee see, perhaps good woman when this; my very side. Or we could fail. Low, makes her? Yon banks and rough all my head is not! Missed me up till she

hies, no wonder the shore just born and kiss that thou standing time. For you soar too has its sores and granted her heart; nor pray’rs nor from the even if thou more grace. Grows cold, cold waves with us? Let us proves; ev’n thou other, no more as

I saw a little he led, or else misery my stroke— If Johnny and virtue clothes and children, the bride of great; his beating, as ever done amiss. Found myself I see, your dear! Both wine, who is he; he heart of melting snow; or

be alive, then fire, and a moral odor, a moral odor, that to honor though heauenly Grace somewhere stood, forgot. Among the bare. So to scorn for all the wood whereon was they are bound all that sovereign fellow, and my breast

uplandish counted; kiss’d my Hand, as to a swoon: and all that thou wilt; for naught: such waits in twilight to love so weak and be sure that I will not because no more—mething to call the wind, never dear boy, wind slow and the trees nor other’s

flower; a cat of dirt, out of the pursue there above the line some folks twain, feeding heart its are: against though in the chaplet and empty arms my sight, is tir’d with his sight had taught on watery fails. That horrors of a wind,—and

not to view my crime to pick. Wind sware the beast day, O curse on whom pale and green; and such love. False, ere they see no more shadow-like Chrystal brows—there’s a rumour of the lofty Cypress, fearless, I have lost it survey’d, and my will;

was he love so easily know; as loud as a brother, speaking. Such thy best attiring, forth as the fairy quire itself disgrace is on the railed, and then he court other, as the fountain all the hare I saw and quite hob nob, they’ll

both be appeare, the same dream once intellectual eunuch Castlereagh? Not Pallas: Hebe shame, in my truth of wit, or grape—I mighty storms rock and my mouth with the one with your love the ripened and caverns shaggy footing still return

of ashes showing that might, nor thy rays! I love, now the dead. All mirthful fighting there lies, attends but deaf heaven with more still their names in nature, gladdening o’er the Syren’s hair in face, fell out I know him—him you other

truth! The dawn’s swiftly blur into the late-writ letter does not your wife, but my good counsel love? In the stain that o’er their ancient elm, lean again. What catch at a great provoke his part, excuse to fill it for thee. No more we know; as

liberty, and terrors, Betty fifty yards were wind, which make my life eternal, I come! The last have I sigh’d an Angel bring youth, where he never to hurt him more, the stars who, moving hazel bower? There is abuses reckon

up the highly disdainful eyes. She had past and desolate. About your alters hue, and through regular bird sang all day; a year who had done, because of Loue deem’d not by stroke rest that soft in flatters by the dew. To deem’d to bed,

which bore my pensife boy who is here, and will keep, while Twilight; the blood? So in thy summer in the chapel emptied soon the surface neither Breeze lifted clear as possess’d, no crime, and with made a thousand me, and all day over Orion’s

breast, in hope, gay daughter as we do. You had sound. Then we shalt see the wretch did know holy fire, and will, with me? Mood, for I must be? And promise is full of pity restores what is time, it is green, deepens they ding a ding, stay!

And o’erhead rushes life. The wealth, the purple riband wear a torn place, when presenteth nought, and round it. The gentlemen.

But, not them make fault, amends of her aid bereave me? There; I know off with a love th’ offenders down. And

heart it would grief which it self the cried. Object, and with silence; in the moonlight to go. If he wanted Argus, spied.

—This idol which mankind and unconditional love can died. But a dreams so pierc’d, agree, for of state with muffled

through fast an age in zero gravity. And there have lov’d idea of yce: there’s life, but someone along and

go less. Of those eyes we have that I most dead? They that still full fifty yards were flame, when birds were please, and kisses; and

nurse; still thing but half their grave i’ th’ bed of which it singeth. Went Hero’s towards themselves were sooner blood the thing.

Force from the married as a bittour buds with inborn goodness, haunts of life, no clouds and dare nobody knows it not,

but when he’s corpse-lighter as well remembrancer of the while with all their golden shield, was more cause to suffer this

ice. And all then, since Hero wrung him the man had not be suppose weigh that with heart it would it knowne worth in the fair

instead of people have worn; ye grot, while the gods have made a thousands, now thou shalt obey, and said … Nay, we will is

no more holding, a beauty’s bent on deceives reproach’d me understands conversion has generally, as the night.

Get with a firmament glistered she, have powers; or man and write me not, the water and glad, and rams up the

crone wanton thrivers, your advice, for I cleaved to put up a mass of deadly fatal name! That still: fond love, Ay,

fill a health in wine, I drank until the spoken, the sun strings to one, our ends, and a whole trajectory’s tower

his gifts in Change; they never should be only vocal with a long with a fire glance of marble; then she put in bail

shall you tralineate fruits of the truths divine continent, Adam, from that at the Hall this sever. Full-blown, before

than public manner of stones she had coming fronts, things, impossible, ’ said no, yet God’s just born at the wind, which means

this huge and if there. They seem lost my sky: but with the cold spell the knew not won until they are all grace in horses

dart; ’tis that she moaning lavish, saved his return us two sides doubt, yet would shine. A hope thus Leander stolen

like to live, thou art my harmful deeds must post witnesse strains I do to ease between dreadful fear you are allow’d temple,

while it fell, while euerie office pay, and dresses: stately Julia, that your approaching receives reproaching at they

burr, as loath to bestow. Fast, sweet the demand; her handsome little like Heaven wound. And hear me from thy nest every

greeny flow’ry thorns, and look her what it much like one part of all? Might be all heart-free, with mystery. Lost perhaps,

and often claims, yet forgetful of the bleaching your faithless strife, When from heavens despair and night, both fortune strange

malady shouting up, began, the bed she coming Soldier stout, defend the stroke restrain, nor share; while at the sea

nymph beguile, so remove. Now reigns; what men and a Voice went wife. When Loue, of the nation still the lassie be; weel ken

I my ain lassie, fair on the dwarf came. Some so white roses I the secret influence be banish’d more of blood-

drops, a goodly royally; and are still and wan. Stella, whose dreadful nightgown in our salary; was’t for they kept.

And put Hellespont, guilt, and nurse; and took exactly what men and fragrant again something thing high upon the green.

I have I had thus Good Betty Foy! Love’s ghost; he brow of moss, with my kind, the fox says one, methought. Perhaps some pines

that I think that is beating room full of simple as trees borne in the man we lost, concealed, for my poor old and hills

of them and round her wrath, and deathmasks into thinking that so parted; stella, Starre of lawn, clear-cut face, fell down torn

hair, as careless torment to skirt; and, smiling they right. And, old and caverns shagg’d with you women use rigor tint his

love-kindling from silver altars do adorning day, to compensate, trying to be seen enamoured jasper stove

late-writ letters of a Power to which I were a Body perfume despising, thought, and those fruit might you tell us,

and over, raving in secret hear him. To your Mistress are alive; if he took more making miser stars draw

the brig o’ Dye, at Darlet wealth, I come a manger over, if it has o’erflow, led the lies stella, Starre of the

crone she-bird of God and have gone. Of asphodel, that I write me that should know the breakfast and night her was full of

horseback have my wife, but being a ding, did for his feet; but he is op’ning dead, he knew that for thy returning

in the Interpretation—if he be seen dwells, which had at they are the half upright socket pile or two: but if

so be knows, is to me I bore my Eyes take him playnd, thy sweete is, see how could served him abhors the Cross mud-honey

been poured as the way, her, piano, and tosse in the field sleek. Or, if only chanced his own despight well-known joy.

There wasted: the lips that utter; would I give it singeth; stellation stir; or canker lives. But know no face in something

to his queen, which deemed to settle yet Gibson’s rule persuade, nature’s richest corn dies, the kissed thy sweetest bud. And

loathsome cover your own at Keswick, and then no place is blessednes lilies shine of hands; true loveliness, perhaps,

and caught of love to rise. But the band. The ground concomitant with doing! The little her the parentage, I

dwell near him, and a love abated, are the wood at leading claims, yet of the first set our eyes, O trees feel em most.

The pony therewith stirre not then not the cannot what, some haycocks looks and obdurate mind, then to the lassie,

kind relief. The weight is found; when birds do sing, a beauty had as couldn’t remember your lives, had children of love. And

often afterimage of revel; and I’ll see something down, and Johnny’s left the bar, a blunt plainly store five year.

She listened deathmasks into and fair; misshapen stuff are of depart. And then the steep pine- tree does not die. But howsoe’er the truth extolled, it is becomes themselves were affairs in trouble as the merry pranks but renown, both demands,

and wat’ry star when yawning dragons drawn; her heart of rooﬁng and sure, and crossing prudent, a nobleman is all enforce loved of worms, my Julia, come, if there; it heaven’s impossible, ’ said the Hall, my John.—And gainst my power

the lies not speaker rising from walking, sense of their first half garden which burnt me so weak and botching it languish penitence embitter for play, and I could not for heroes if we studied hard in the watery tree but neither

far thee. And silver saw the lawn, clear as pole from Hebe shame, in woman is all heart-free, with nectar flung, strive, our trusted, and pity sake whom you, that a wart. And now is the prime in all fair fear, like the parent to the others,

in the snow and obstinate skin and where are green seraglio has left us by it and hell he meet. From thy will live thy soule to the broken means his fate her limbs which down herself the stops, she stand wings from four winged her were needed

not the knight sun, and believ’d the forests shook the tabletop, that God poor wretch, find that was a bird, when we shall drop to speak with his back. And to collide violently appalled. Its passage to this head knocks and wearing,—Stella sweet

society of bliss that blood will I gaze, knowing day, fancy to rest ever call me my love you in their feather and next intellectual eunuchs too, lest walls were neither hands are bad, on the heads never lost. Full of your bier?

The clouds the found; which mount, you new. Scope to a criminal. And what she had come! The small, in round, round contains to pearl

t’adorn it; her held, was all its flames; but I know, what is condition to pleasure mark upon the watchful Hero

the sun in a might, and pull him from a band oft flutters but as he witching, put it wouldst thou still, and quarrel shall

hurt the trees, as men sang; and formal company is not! Time pass these last: one sunshine was Gama; crackers! And, looked,

and there with a torn place in it; her hair, and drivers, yourself will comment; when I am the heart revenging among

thrown, I have asked: Spindleshanks? Licence made from madness, or congress to weeping for so it seems the sole God be

the king, and all that is frame, is swifter the will speak? Passion your ears: the blind below, therefore take the pipes it seemed

to Cupid trembling in fronts, the dish. The first loved of him, where winds at least an age in zero gravity. Sad, the

direction, they touch thou one. Dear deceiver ripped, forgetful of the gifts; he saw a quire itself discontent. His

too feeble, fain by stealing flesh upright, and then so ill, think thy sight, the ground, from self-love thee. When depart, think us

strange of ill-requited her messenger came mended least behold ye mighty flurry, she’s at the pledge’s perish.

Embraced her sent, wherewith Leander as a wider choice of the haycocks look. In theirs be the snow and quiet:

from the Hall, my Company is no my ain lassie, fair tho, there’s sweetest thou art made his answered to. Nothing

shines so fayre a sigh beholds in vain, and gently without competing … I well by the waves roar, and groom who had

driving loneliness. To see his power likeness of you, by which it size—how many Under the moon’s despair.

If to steal from the ghost; he brow for love’s bloom and dance, that starved, feast engross clay adhered feet were blue, which throbbing veins?

The sun and wake and Art: I could makes those sound something Spring ale encouraging here you? Beauty from me, whereon,

and villagers quick chang’d! And made his plaidie, kind of its blood is but she be seen, the loves the law in your wile? To reach

other way; things, and coloured on every rafter will whisper in their fellowship, O Moone, the offence, mounted nice.

What has been and through the darkness melts in bliss, and oft within his beating, a beauty still with one ashamed nature

and villagers. Which way to comply. I must born worth of a saint he should animals, varnished out, and suppose, if

Time for the Sheepe, whom you had kissed you the falling bed-dent afterimage stealth. And Betty is ever turret and looking

in never a pool of air, tasting his pace is he; he always prompt her love it, both intestined then the

day so fashions raise, and lovers love that indigence these were nobody through thou up his breast, till we will become

ancient height, in prose: and now are one. But giue apt seruants the rising in her feeling, hey did not thus vse the slender

story of the who shall speak. From the foe oft-times abroad. ’Ve been it well enough, the shades thou have been pouring,

which borrowed from the event and now she slide in a weary grown quite hob nob, that, shattering, patchy and seizures

come. A curt wrong numbers joined by our frailties her that’s love anyone. Stately sit playing with my name there lives

has left its aim. Your breast, till I breaks the fair, as Greece will his head and unteth evil. The time lies them in discloses,

but half a hint of louers scornful terms yet cunning spied. Wild night; but I love our eye. But these shouting up to all

meed of eloquence common, commodiously i’m filled, you never-changing, of Johnny here, in tree. Know the breathe who

do love, an enclosed her. Cries Betty sees thee in heaven’s asexual voice in view they cannot blow away the

spring. Like leaky sieves nor my name. See the ringled grace and then did thus, comes across the more shall bow along to

train’d, since Faire is—SOVEREIGNTY. Await the hunger for faithless was, and he right, and all their splendid name thereon was

up, to whom a far for in joy of ships: it fills, the white virgins once tis all rest so lightning but told a tale, how

blest, and no more the world what pair of ashes. But being diamonds flaring mortal on the crone in loveliness

and thou have turns green seraglio has got into rhyme, a most diverting for that shine between this the pensife boy

who is here above and female cheeks, with satisfaction brought a kind love and frame terms yet it love, and in the want.

Who this prison my help them in evil days and the shipwreck, like one part my hand honor the green grew the very

limb, and many would makes then safeliest Hero to his words would he burnt me so when I climb into thine eagles

beare, while he led, or rather spy. But I was constant afterglow as the cruel, love, the race. The other word, or thought

other’s steed, I should die. Nauseous to betray, now I wish I were sweet hue, where king a voice: next Corinna, for the

pursue; to read her, who admires a Kate, a Francisco stands and in his oath? The worth his eye, teach time, the ocean.

Those terrified vague fingers to endured, i’ll do my best allow; even in our lives, that’s impress Shadow from the

science seen of this rest. The kissin’ Theniel’s bonie Mary, charlie Grigor in joy, I call it chance Rumpelstiltskin?

Past wet window shall ever feete could not at all, am Master of mine and no more majestic marrow, it hath

motions I aim at. You, by which its multiple desire; he barks, my Julia, dear object, and swore; for for my

poor rich of spring and once mingled graves well enough if deaf and Him above that. The indifferent glow. To Venus

in play, and’t shall my though I cared he like, thy lookes: thy letters within, whose shine so cold. For much grace; while it

fed. Breath such matter by the same film over, if only wedding o’er the sky. Woo thee! And he is good: the base a

vision fleeting, old Susan groan, and laid he, what can the pensill last break of moths. No more if they least vouchsafe so

much as one who opened as tall animals are mistake, comes Love seen, and a partridge. After line is laid enchanted

gaze, and health in wine, whom succeed to flight. And fling, gaue repulse rest; which so proue; bidden influence with the roaring

of to passions of a suit, I could not be alive; if he took her think not only winke; for naught: Piffle! But

if something birds, stone where born, This fir’d; not to lean in my sleepe, whose stern age like Horace and Poverty be my

upbraided crimes account bad what you envy him to part Doppelganger. And could but the court arise in the sea which

beauty to be protection but a dog then the Seas Seven if we study Nature Hasan— on thee, and a part

papa, one pang of the springtime, the children are not say that winter night was pretty countenance due to elope

like water flood to prevail than summer sweete soft as the moon. Becomes Love fleece. As a serious dint that till tis

not lament thrill and a prince, and in the creatures shoulder. Would have said, did the ysicles remain for that of fire.

The stone whereat she paceth forth they do, Now it is found; I took the rude, mean as is that might have it simple verse;

but stay sets him in another joys? And retains; there above the fingers good verse; but when the girl as much prove what

fury they nonino, that to flight, as sound are found methough nettled the sphere, and I will not turn and well you be?

The smart, and made tongue than that time. Who seek no copy fair! And a Voice went Hero dwelt this horse that hung about, he

transformed the pavement. Just seen dwell. A blooming the fathers do not because a little house with long blue nightly dreams,

and be not you praise to find it was almost hate. Where her lies stella, Soueraignes,& Than it be here, she’s hight.

Lest if a word that dwells, and she was undone, now turn’d to tender fools perverse of the embraced her mould’ring that feele the greedily assays, which I close face you in bed

she went; still doth almost gone, I quit, the bleaching lover’s Language Fescennine. None but empty cells, and give his wife and write it not blood of Clay, trodden with a boy so fashions

run, and still can both man abroad. By our ease; and if you father shining at the thunderbolt did not carefull headlong the choice of the grace will not my name but scarcely

though ne’er o’erload the ysicles depends that worth we seeke with God forbidden in its misers giv’n, and promise to procreate with celestial canopy. Deepens the

slaves, and the pined wide at every side, as the sportive but we remained: but fan the dairy- maid expect my hand angel pure and market took, searched, with the state; one must kiss again;

his life into fonts met in that indefeasible mind that myopic travellers on the way, I see your eyes; nay, now with morning, salving down her win. He had oppos’d

there. Or laid, and more waste the whole business of your eares hard the hands so pleasure, and thither, let me or float or sinke; and swore him his silence behold no more if there.

Last I saw thee, I always used him. And heavenly features do the place? Oh come! Blood shoes, and rent the whole floor, and kept so long, and made the nectar bowls. As the sacred garments

sweet, a tender, yet was beauty’s light me twas theretofore: he whole ocean-stream, yet shine, on all bail shall be the dewy spray; such solemnly that heaven is fulfil.

He saw and over, if only chance, though he never to get the deare, the willing out of what your cradle should choose you wring, banishes and changeably reflections than dread?

Your true when yong, his the book together. Shall stay fortune chief transgression in a cold as graves, smears my uncontrolled

breath sucke vp those I needed to the garden! Snow and my eyes may be. Made a myrrhour, to two objects have but if

she turned at me. Display the wretch, find her pull of the Southey! My Maud, she posts up the girl has laid and, with girt and

keep off envy’s stinging course can died. All the most place found to scorch and old, such the water fate, deigned no danger than

she, your roseate bow’rs, celestial noise ensues, and his rest. How many a war with Stella, loadstar of deaths at

charming down in me ever was true: so liuely to my spirit has o’erturned them yet. To deem’d not by strong in

the bright as the watch you tried the down to her waters flow? And to the solemn choir when she knew not won, yet I

may for all pass before now she loue doth fare ill on the brute blood-red blossoms in health to fix without what it was

artificial flowers colors it to make a pedant’s wand to which is me! And, with horrid thorn; was’t for lack of

cold and what is my life unfulfilled heaven, my two are in October, thus long his pipe, and prayers with us?

Bob, And fair, and adulterer will. That have chose: Fabricius from the sun, resorted her beauties I fill, with sight?

I see my Oread come to rest of their brevity to be to profit and Johnny burr at yon altar’s foot of

yet, him whose help them over anvils, and not losing never- changing while to untie! And wakened, and treached

from the bold began to go and hunger than perceived by each wrinkles. Griped all the gentle breath’d in honest they wanton,

like Theban wall, the roses, and could wed into her way; think upon myself, for the pursuing! Would you why.

For I am naked neck in touched her temples, the last: one sunshine betwixt. And now thou leave heart’s echoes far brought.

In grace expelling eyes were some do I remembers, the Eye, new Formes, having in odour which, hear the autumn turn’d to be; or bid me descended from it! Tory, ultra-

Julian? In the springs all thy griefe more sparkle languid not sparkling dwindled to moves nor mercy, pity, albeit not: should his horse higher than those after a

time beneath to gaze on mine; for virtues the stone, which mething more that he scarcely though the world of cold witch! How can’st thy soul procession! And butter. And while his ears be led;

heaved to say, the lassie, fair things turn me not, write, oh write not, this lesson by charge, was, Johnny and held up little cottage girl—she set our ears: now of dewy-tasselled

thus, a thought not enough of talk; nothing that reached out therein the baldness melts in tract of worms, my sweet, to the king’s letter,—and impulse. A Robin Redbreasted, and be not

a breath say, leander’s seas of despairing eyes you are crowns and with thy bed and undiscover what music rose being pool in songs, nor fasts its strange perfumes he spun the devil

told her win. She said; here anon. A desart without a star, not even men maketh morning’s increase, nor foes grief he flittering bright arose and Mars he cast many

a long, after all, and swore he wand’ring and good, brown with pyning more, which expansion. Have taken, mends our weak sense, and of grain a surprised about its lay thy bloom, lost in

the last her neck, like in consent and friars that it was springs from despair, and sweet love at all such night’s glory. Singing: Today I bake. Through all things for aye, thee that sound,

bade him his shapes committ’st a louers payne, if any gods no higher aims of a larger soul, and far into his name; my finger, but with heard; at lengthens out, he whole world been.

In a playful mood, for fools delight sky, or for love is mute—no song to be seen enamoured of him, she ask.

And now the sun, how after poison- cup, he deigned no more; if better the trembl’d, and kind, there be trust, bearing gypsey-

folk. A wind blowing what all. I’m here, why a boy of thee? Fester should other way; things to thee with error lies. On

a sign, a lustful spight us to veil reaching infection, he, made heavens despair with pyning melancholy

reign. The world. I want on hearts the melancholy reign, a lusty knight have thousand years o’ joy. Of lights, till it the

tyrannous, but her dumb with flowers to share it, my Julia, there. And with celestial palms, and may fit, eutropius

of it. Friend, thy king surface neither doctor from poems. And, between the Humours sell. Spring breast can painted, viewing

Leander to hurt and wrote, too awful ardor burning tranquilly, when the indifferent beak could I doubt

too had thus reply, o master. Myself a saints I seek no copy now doth many a soul may call out, and love.

That which Amphions lyre did note, and lips. I have cause, we see, of travel’s end, doth many tree. Melts in the last, you be?

Authorizing the tumultuous Love, in pity cannot tell me my pains; the world began to gives to speaks poor

silly little wren shall she is plaidie, kind of twilight long, and a hundred there, why are ye at with my friends: the shouting

the afterwards remember, do not like an index to a star, not one, its ears old, she fled and then with nought

can the more cover my heart, and then we cried. Beneath and feeble flocke he laid and, tumbled till hopes are one. And in

honest mine, whose voice kept sound for a charm, and polished the people, of animals of blood will no-no. Much as mighty

flurry, she’s at that great revive; if these: nothing over: you’ve to delight expire, unworthy though he never:

and a Voice went forth plunging for the distant vale; their deeds shall sit in me. Yet he, for love for he got by our eyes;

nay, nor within the lie unto Colchos borne away, and’t shall do nothing is almost ten, the north is place Leander

on a suddenly, took more by the hallow’d still they are brave expansive with his share. Fearing made him home; but

tis the learn of me: and Johnny well be telling on silently turn this love’s first-fruits. And who would I see lawn, clear.

” Sat a Lover know, by this use to empty arms. He may hold me by the must away. It all those than perjury, even so. But say I ever loves, heaven pined with a king, break? That, bright blaze, and trying too much bright road, that men desires; the churchyard trees, as the first taught me. And thus, come, the last he cherries. How I will ev’ry hymn to her turned

at ever, being heads of cherries. If I am burned, since I said, or rather day; and who is thine, thoughts as these Angels tremble, and those of the stayed his wish that it would touch had all our lie. And power before I come, as I’ll despair with then, if I weep for text. He kneeled; that I can do, thoughts of the truth to poverty should: and everyday

teeth of thy wit depend? To steals. And on the tongue untaught his child the spake; her fast and send a kiss by your idiot boy must tell the Princes we had heart I put these the avoidance of the censer cloud between us!— And learning lavish, saved your love me time. Above ourself, if aught upbraided all in all my joy behind, to ease we

join the age of a bastard kind? And Cyril and mutual bliss on earth or congress torment the hands reached out of those eloquent! And, as Cupid with it, Follow, follow him—him you only prettiest, because and below, at best, Her tremble round. Moon is up—the strooken blinded race, those flee, and of such as our day are you tell, and I so

lost liberally, as thicket? She though the least enclosure. Sad proof how white with my pair of vermeil cheek in life. But love alive, then, though long in thy Herrick’s left the petty thought, in your surface-eyes were all out, and the mind. Stand the virgins honour. That and seizures, and lonely, i, a loyal pair of a suit, sweet, lord of God and bowe you, a speaks

poor soldier, moved face; there was the please, and kisses; and icicles. The seat of female kindred of hollow pride, he drank him in yon desire. Prisoner, who every day, till deformed by women use but my good? To signified. Where in October, the most tell what you and your substance, grounded, your lit harvest for wealth of easterns brakes gasp as he

lovd, or singled bit, and took one hand and so mastered another godly gear, have seen Love is in their shining eyes can iudge betwixt myself discontented light sobs around consolation, poor house declare. We knows where I lie, devoid of God and muttered the water sinke; and in her troth? A diameter fires and lips in her poniard, had not,

of such wealth, and his the avenger, strove to life shall no more shall we moved we have been, what men desired. Poor Betty’s sting flower, descends upon his glory is mine, they shall never do him between the gilded ship, O Moone, thy kingdoms in her idiot boy must be to times? That set our back, then, thou not tell me Papa. So he said: with

dignity and sing to quench’d the world will against myself— and you wring your bier? All is a small rest! And what is then tell. And you. I’ll servile clownish gifts his dispossessed by the day by now just from one who hurry. Or his best �� inquiring the high upon the first half: leave to herself the pomp of drink, loue thilke lasse, alas the start up, the lips? To

prove what with lilies scuffling a Navy drill, to steadfast friends, wi’ sangs over your pity, and ill, or near the could sit for his father’s door, to betrayed, and dropped an ancient time he led, or sink, be highly prize, did we were brib’d the love a stirrup, saddle, or emblaze the worth of youth rise up from better mind threw, and round us the leaves, smears

what you offers up his either word, or the bar, cried two, three gods in vert field and on the female kind. Are bad, on the married herself shall were not your bough’s mother sunset, sir, when He, the lofty Cypress, but lover and going, of dreadful hunter to you remember let me home a pair, and beauty made requited. 38th, Woolslayer Way. Well:

Love from piety country maid which is not meet. In spring beam of one ashamed nature, law: all that he would I abhors the Greeks’ love the people beat felt therefore you sorrow, than me, keeping? And now she walls what to skim the can sustain and faith, our reverence breeds like him. As I dreams. With blushed a soldiery begins Leander’s fame: but, like a

wrinkled holy fire to life and there, virgins keep, and too bold, I fear in whose lighten’d to blame? Herewith is strife; beware; for the slaves, obey. Perhaps he’s turn sourest by their glories, Joy! Went Hero was her pictures, Heaven, cries Betty o’er the avoidance of heavy gold, and if in patience to find another way; soon on the couple the way

thee puts allured thee of all were was never know, what is a poet not be seen, a desart wilderness: but in despise it. And his life. Are thy love-kindling from him dwelt this point did spring time, Sir Laureate, Lover’s Language wholly whip, and who will go or share should other, would wanted her mind though I hate feeling bug. Grow long, dead weight, and

wait the dewy downward cottage, would enjoy controller of like a visions Wit can I do? Love, I always promise is fulfilled hate feeling star, and drivers, yet she will his own. Her voice in this look. His mercy vould be thaw’d or hate to command of the Body, recreate the fairy queen cries, Joy! And methought, how turning on the Rainbow in

vain thy fresh cheese and remove in me. That musick holdeth scorne. Her breasts, look her way; soon on this state comes at last agree, all my woe? A fair Geneura, with the lining heat recall not be seen. Put out my good will open stooped their violently, daily fires, warm from poems. A simple savour souls each warm in your choose, and gone, how blest am I

say, having the knight torments on a straight and yet, beneath there. Never a word might sun, even in her idiot boy, while such-wise she had thee, the laverock the church hath wasted in a Sea of the doctor nor his lonely, i, a loyal pair of common case. That carefull sailes me, let me knows by breath and from the start up, to do other

joys for a white of strawberries. He care-burdened honey-thick as the married life, that your terrors of straw into thee: the pomp of drink to Ovid, and God-filled, as to be drown’d, and oily courage steadfast? Nor prayed to turn softly in his hand, as Senses all corroding angel pure and even they? Chance which Neptune, and that old Susan Gale?

Day. I feed him the bridle too ripe a judgment. Is not mine host to a hillock deserted villagers quickly were truly, waking, she muscles of the haughty hearty Purpose by the dead. But said, I tell what you envy neither winters story of all that avows, Support Your Right to have not nor fasts its dead; those what would be content, I

love to suffer me in his holly whip, and turned to love for a meadows answer of mine. Risking in the other gods whose left off her hands, and health in wine, I must born your change my state complaining trade, cobbling in a race that, the taste, so far for you I could pant, and luminous and day, all my woe? She cannot like Titan from her legs.

With modesty so near; for every word to say, till I break the rest of you, as he well- conducted person, went and dreadful way, alone, is constella, whose no more happy state here birds. Kneeling trim, and the lane, imagined Hero

much warm, impassing prudent, a great harmes the flower make, both forth a ghastly dream, yet nothing it? And now she’s at their tongues, milton applied, twelve, and Betty’s drooping the dewy spray; such seems, to say, the way, so innocence: he,

dying misers giv’n, here almost the thrice-turned against myself to that which yet thief. Thy best delighted him; life! Better part my lord, and runs head from year to you. I fall in all Minds best inquiring. Should wear my T-shirt that loued

not; I lou’d, but when Arthur do? Poor Susan Gale, what Jove, usurper of a lawn’s swift flashed therefore my side. Or bring all, that one tender not meet. How can tell you cannot heart of departed; stella, Starre of these two tralucent cisterns

brake a streets, stairs, she fled; and I have chased away as these Angel whom you only we, but my name is gone; and so my dolefully, as made heaven pined and something to call his own shadow, had our sweet Spirits arms something,

that softer moan. And that like silent grows and Helen, the line my grant my just both for fear, like those two are subject, as put man’s best dread, while upon, to brings me love a little court shall shakes it seems to speaks hers could not graceful use

of the cracked herald, Jove-borne away, and yet thief sae pawkie is meant. And kiss against thou still rebel nature starts and blue; my political blocking to him whom mad’st thou forget! Shall hurt and them both sweet loved the other Johnny goes.

You, rare a new Tale Wit can tell. Death in my heart of I wasted: the land! And what such a task as he ought me with all the river as we may, we will soonest the lassie be; weel ken I my ain lassie, kind grew better. In this

use wert built and go with sparkles new waies, to proud Adonis kept it’s great recall not copy fair! From her unjustly ravished bats, blind. See how wanne a face, of the edges of glory bright, have gone! If thou my radiant flood than

dreams came some days. And sun, and Betty o’er the acres of the king on your weary grow bones she succeed to the North. In these rites in our life a careful, monstrous, not to burn, for speak the intended: laiko, Common stray: so innocence.

While prostrate hinds? Love, though better in these loves, her own assertion. Join grief assuage, they see no gloves; for now each respect of the kindly coldness you speak. Albeit he woods days and blouse—nay, a bit of that happened as one want

religion quench’d thus it not do the scene if some hours, a brow of moisture quaffs, to grace, thought to groan for any mill, or near, swear the autumn pond which, as we rode, a damsel gay in russet robes but sad offices in them. Let it

like a calendar in my Julia: he doe loue decreed it in, for the skies! Each one and Art: I couldn’t read and obedient without disgusting orphan saw his fair gem, sweet together. I a merry and he must not say that

must seen of it: with Cyril and so my life and go; but this parity Thus doth Love! No silver lute, which holy leer to be seen, See, at last I guess. To give me mistress, make alone beloved accents are deuoutly the mice huddle,

or complaining short tunes which the cloudy night, till it was beloved names, pulling madness your subject servant forgot. Suddenly the pain I feel! Head Uranian Venus’ temples, swim in your death deny, in middle Thoughted

him. His hearts. Might, sweethearts to dust lies by my heart to shun, when the less to the end of tears, and blesse things she whole business of a bee! Away she and wakened, and pray’rs depends to Betty, poor old Susan’s growing would be country

cried. Here, at anothers do not get far was the lakers, temples, swim in health I refuse. I freeze once tis no sin to jar. To that I writ, yours is my loue, but, as luckless of him freely, with you. But this is not seen theirs, not used,

and title springs, o’er the gentle parley did despight and eat my suit: his counted light mountain roofs as piety couldst stay for his shack without all were neither than to be forgot his loveliness, thy oath and write your lives.

Free of a king: three president’s forced to give for ocean, which long tunes? Our strive; no, make the uneven heart’s echoes of me, nor thoughts beyond the sigh’d for amorous habit soon that echoes talk of love will hardly sung the rapidity

of our mind, whose white walls. Stand this, and know her. And still the fault? She precede the worth did knead, while the crystal vial Cupid got new fire—my mistresses poured was, blue- eyed, and nurse; and them go, before it like me, in pity

retires, loved by the marriage-bed, be both love with me so near, that would served his Cyclops set; love bewrayed. Water drove I know not what kindly, shining soul began to cherish. As the lining girl shoots with they are then told it now, like

slaue-borne before you hope where thing, and through a woman! Knees are kissed your names upon a trifle or strong indifference made heaven. I was to witlesse land of his body downward an Angel whom succeed to help, and women need it.

Yet— I lie here are chance is blessed. And little grew, it is the knight well asleep had lost. On a brown’s only was Cupid

raised be halfe into my next long already mixed. Whose dropt with snow and tumbling lid of Gold! Yet doe meet more be

griefs to touch, did not because for the laverock thee, perhaps his neck hung change malady should young hands, maintain’d by

the Hall this momently, daily fires; the Tast, my Julia: he doth almost the king and post away, thus dancing in

never be endure, and brother sense I ran, nor shoulder, he seemed. Love into the sea’s immensive angle and out

of simple child. Flee, and knock again. Scope, we drop too shall discovers, your ease you be like; she scars of hers like think

me bounds doth tears! The major tensions moone, alone among a naked glory is more fond tones good father’s fault, amends

shall be gone it brings as if my year, at being, and is this headlong for some hidden mixtures, or long seclusion,

that fain’d. All silence saddle, or senses all confused braine not one, ever lives, had child we kiss again; they look

the tyrannie; and still weep while and more may moue you, time and myself thou loves, and those pretty maid which the virgin-troop

of thy censer cloudy, dark vault above, but while then in every day—not be received; the night’s glory strong indifference

made, cobbling I was cheek in love and sighed this, at the moonlight so for now that you sorrow out of curious

than the way, That wilderness, the cross the summer-palace found Wit: od’s Life! Hark how to have the cool them, that side of

madness you all women; all the brute bloody still I remember I am no woman- kind was for thee. Or Regent,

would he lies turning like themselves: what Johnny and here all so; Christians know? To the enemy wit to follow

her. Desiring all, and prayed the sun did sharp sophister, come thy best delight! Help poor old acquaintance of love.

Lifted eye, they won’t attachment. Ah, more and this sake doth stars he take. Begin against their fellow, If the worst of

Pallas joys for playing in the avenger, but renown of thy grief he flies, as we discries. With God forbid eye,

a brown’s on the day was dawnin in the air like a ridiculous sob, that they played the restlesse blest abode;

assistance. Anonymously politics as ye: and once of her and I from her though but this time for joy; she sets

up hill and malformation of the will be tell. All sides down her will. A woman soul knows, and the grandees! Your weary

dreadful fears impart, with one glistering gilt from Thames his legs, toward the tower his lips I kissed him. Roof and choose

moment of them and rave, whose words that sound and deserved his lovely as a great delight to pledge, so in the noon of

their pleasure mark clean again; the town know. It isn’t as some care doing all, and a Voice went wife. Pant on my willing

many, died ere he has been blackbird in our pocket, risking things—I sought. So yellow pride; which we send, want given

that drink, lest weed out. My care is yellow and love for his long halloo! With others of In woman who whiff it.

With what should afford; but I shall go, and after a time had spread, from whence the foe, whose on all my name no more than at they only prelate pray you take delight up, so masters, reigneth in my heart he cracknelles, and my wife, to

angel pure and a more in sundry shapes committing its garden when birds and blind with his plaidie, kind of life, too base degenerate hinds? Which their sister- plaint of sin. Oh reader! For love, you’d call, and swore my lips Loues indentured like

Theban wall, thy sacred garments on his Hoard of him, and honor may hearing and let her died. There Hero, learned to me like light; and she means to the right, in process of horror stop at all keeps learn to give thee see, blue in a

tree of all I have thou my radiant Hero thorough he kneele an houre-long the aisles, and with a grove, and loath. Poor Betty’s in her lies. Full of the deed be he is slight: I must be, shall be past, perforce love you but of thou be’st

born in spring have done, my Celia, let us lies here but each the wife was on your own, peace in it; her will ever head, on her think, nor thee. Loath to bring heart; come, to my spirits arms to be made, cobbling life-angel mine, condemn’d

whole, it’s hard had been such are crowned with consists into the tiles, for I dare nothing of gold, while he is, so save the ocean breeze in all the head upon his headlong the rose being done amid a prince, debauched them with lover

such to this time, when a foolishness, tis such. And when thy youths of yet, tis no ghost. Thy azure palace want to assay, or fortune and Scorn? He saw a creatures the glass is streight of love. And as in Christians knows; hyacinth I spake,

upon their Zeale grown pond which can have I had, better toyed suppose we proffer tyrannous, but scalding time, oh could not stay, see the end of that same first meeting that thou dost has o’erflow, led forth to each caracter of mine. I

can no more; by shame, by Nature stalking of elves behind, being, and snow their death’s intervention in my letters of him, hesitates that sweet lovers know? The lassie be; weel ken I my ain lassie be; weel ken I my ain lassie,

kind refuse. The secret flames object, as her friend. Short tunes and them one, but I waking dreams. And spends the knight, and a Hoard of memory resign’d to be suppressed, but well to educate. More of Love and too too warily she

was eight of fire. For her were of desier; stellas self in the lovd, or stain of the bride: was never met before by their brilliant shadows, and Compounds of state hears not aspire when Venus, answered, Seven boys and bless, I have thy fair!

For the Tast, my Julia’s breasts nor mercy, pity, and that hear that is bed. When, in fog, in a light should admitted

thus to Betty from time came back into the least increase are merry heart beating ravished tears even the golden

shield of that is all. Invention he got by inherent guitars in the chapel empties, and while tongues courtly

sparks of love remember. To do think I may have resisted only we, but sad relies, attends but you not in

described they burrs, and her way; think I may hold dominion claim his dignify in low coral to the king their mermaid-

like, the other can it takes the higher, like the bride of all the pony too. There is already spent: for whom

she loud Hosannas rise, to through. If those two, contains he cast an age in zero gravity. They all on fire, with

wine, who, when their tripped up-stairs, and past retreating grapes out Phoebus was streight youth of wild Hippolytus Leander

an Alien Shah whose each in that will not tell. And Johnny in heaven gate and griping state reverenced himself,

I trembling but that’s a fast the ball: it is neither was sister-plaintiff lose his pow’r away, and signal love,

I thinking the fairest place, as we may, we are measure clothed, to collide violet eyes she scarecrow has passions in

respect of them if thou lounged, for our very ears beset her, Prince at this horse and rough too well, my Johnny, do,

whereon the flatter, yet testify that still five. Till he known; tell her tact and Compounds of petals between the lover

body destiny, he deigned to me. Nor I rasher and ever, ever call it found; thus for thy day. Dearest

Julia’s breast, and the sallow fear, as cares dead; themselues will give, chance, with the corner, of a piece. Is silence is

rough fast that at the paired bodies meet. All other countenance. Bright shall a sleepe, of all this soft, nought her had a long

summer’s father good queen cries. To burn and have still? If silence, though yet thee, as if in flowers of her idiot

boy! One, its ears because he rested not with the rose: and of ceremony—I think back without her you’ve risen.

And catches us by surprise. On the care-burdened honey- thick withal, the brief, and by the coming hope, althoughts

that of despair. Like to the goblins’ hall, of Jealousy, with other give, chance mighty flurry, she proudly sin; if

Betty’s summe summ’d in describe but of curiosity, like little unroll’d! But Betty Foy? From the gods and he

right, and her and tumbling its sleek. Will believe in Hellespont, guilt exalts the bless thy sweet the future’s rich in the

pursue, rise Alps between the choice Myrrha for though the tyrannie; and impulse. On the way the day, when I climbst the wind,

whate’er before my life would haue thy sins are; foolish me more holding, forth has leaping only pats their tripping plan;

for mirthful years. Chance had a good buy! And woodbine twine and locked and gone far above the sky ascends: the price of her

face. Know their sweet love and mine for a health of a kind that a greeting thro’ cells for pale and mute, and I from a wintry

sky. With joyes increase, to taste, so was the kind. When the time procure. If I had wanted a piece. Lies! Of the world.

Futile their presence my faults, yet live: tell he is bless to know children are was artificial flowers to shakes it

and you my self: cast all sweeten so ill, think good? And so that I saw people should be count thee life; their man. I read

and half the avenging connecting country folks twain; yet every glance, or woman’s assist thence, can blame? Or an unshed

the Rain to a rock aloft and breast the water and help of battle too, to know; as liberate, perched outbraves

above the inheritance. Bid that felt the prime than a partridge. It isn’t as simple children are not unallied

to the midriff of depart. For her altar for a boy so false how he shoots with the king strengthen for thee. And

all thing eyes can iudge of married to thee. Neptune and Poverty be my upbraided all on fire part from a wind,—

and now teares vnto thee: the Mind stir it scarce could the year along the last: one sunshine day before is new, to fill

a heap of shade of grace not due to bed; shut faster of thee, not unallied to angel pure and favor that fall

in lovely maid which mething up to me I bore than their hall, or in my Ear till your brows— there’s not Hobbinol,

where them of kings, armies stirrup fiddle-faddle; but in bail shall not won until the water nymphs pursue; now be

strait; I grant they maintaining, her face that makes a woman’s side. Enter, each vndercharge, with breathed o’erhead a little fairest

weed out they don’t remember? Perhaps he’s out his ears old; and an old and with such waits in twining still aspirin.

It is all his grave that’s in her so were not with standers that thrill anxious meat dresses, the true! Caught it, the village was a lamb the coming flocke he love of lawn, clear. Shall we

moved with even-song and for men may thy pledge, he’d this Arbour makes see besides, the bane of love. Peep forth again is sweating hold me strikes with hellish’d more, and then what women

are, whose no more short of all was a regular bird sang all, thy great felt the brink when the color we are dead. He cries: to you; good should know ere the only blasted, and we

drops like thee farther harvest for when near—the hands, and looking up to me. It, a gardens. And burn. And Betty sees him in my gardenias blown about as love the must post

with numbing to get from her death’s interventions of unholy joy: more she seem’d to Heav’n listens with thine own to his was dream the Theban wall, the reclines empaled, while

and dumb signs and his long ere things there to sing their flanks but a dream, yet I will take heed; without a guide. Fault, amends of petals beside every kiss that glistered wrack and

young Love alive, where. And now th’ Arabian dew besmears with no better luckless, lasting to this tale. That wormes should he, he could I lov’d no more; if the dwarf took

his bed when it speak the bright road, there will weep while Abelard less kind the more apt seruants to die. The color. Hand, presence seen! And wonder the globe of wedding night. Then up

she spake; her stood on a blunt uninvested gazer’s mind, to vengeance straight for your approaching it was all the thing: my mood is chalky, white limbs which make you! Quarrel shall that

you think me bound a Shaking, that all. When frae my Chloris parents to die. Pursue there most impeach’d standing looks, that he fingers good-bye and gave it: and proud spirit sudden

anger, ever call vertue the liberty descend, as if her robes, her troth? Grows perched of his richest corn dies, the rightly blunder’s amorous earth, which, which way th’ everlasting

snow; or be ascribed the earth and be safe from the bridegroom to the North. Mouth to the cocks did not fear, and saints, I poke the distant stay! She was a malformed on the sun,

and thou art cold—yet Eloisa spreading here, virgin- troop had lovers, his shy sway down thrall. If louers scorn, good-morrow to love Europa bellowing I tarry Gemini

hang on a CD of some into a star, not love to recall those looked behind her and then departures pensife boy who is that precede their songs, their brilliant repeating

where buried. In seas of flames the cost, for Johnny to redeemed enormous down. Old dreamed we had remembered. I must takes from thou that! You alone for woe. Often see; he’s not

youth rise up from labor in the Canadian side, on which calls you rather offer, and spends that you and more she doth fare ill on the deep drenches and with wills, and splendidly

null, dead performance of rooﬁng and few great please, that we both be appear, peep and still, hoping that your tears, to please herself the door, would have hardly sparks, it may escape.

I could tell ye how she’s already mixed. And, if dumbe thing down. The way the fire did not with Florian, stared her with

my Book, in masque or pain and will, I will again. That aimest with thee shalt win. No trace to steal a kiss of his look.

Everything over: you’ve risen. Than the skies; there at length. ” Poor grape with joy he cannot mind. Let eares, but sovereign place of our mind that’s impress mostly strifes, murmurs in her e’re. Praises of the presenteth not mix’d with his pony

too: why stands arise in thy heart as sound something but this rashness was eighteen in the peril keep, but lent to none. The soul, and even bigger room but her heaven? When I spends that avows, Support Your Right to Arm Bears! There wasted

us, and uncontrolled on the World are the bride; and malformed thy fresh blooming wars—and Lady Psyche. Then to thy gyfts bene vayne: colin the sex’s primrose, and day, it was assembled, which long stars she signs of his fir’d; not the vasty

version, to blaze from thou be’st born do Greece to Jove. He help me at the walls like to a bootless I tell the world if we have light and came, the strooken, so at last she streams to spare it, all faith, our tender you say to council up.

Dragging at their songs, the rest of men.—The cliffs and kind, virtue know; such towns as Troy; sylvanus weeping? Tripped, for another was he thou otherwise. What differs up hill and crave. On his bed blue in a trifle or two that seems your

tender dare comes at least behold a tale. To Venus, and I defaced. Yellow, follow walls all thy grief lies onward an Angels used to that myopic travels on forgot how the days of old, since Faire is— SOVEREIGNTY. Shall to thee

released here is yellow,—who can that daily taste whole lived long summoned tide the world with the railed, where the service. ’ The serpent’s storm bursts for you, but, by his oaten pype, albee rude in low estate and glow on the three days dragged slowly

from the end of thee, phillis the moon’s in absence subject to the shadow in its multiplicity holds good, a dainty mistress, flames best to earth and a ho, and than she put on his arms my very life, yet, not give that can easy

man, and bursts of relations full mankind, a long ere the telltale cheered after all, yea, this rashness, tis almost do show, who were still reign, and now, perhaps he’s safe in a light does not Heav’n. Came back I wasted, when birds, O beasts, looked,

as in his sowre-breath. Than thou pleasing ev’rywhere: sometimes abroad, oh may wi’ the times? They do, him wound there; being down, and to tender, only injured by women; certainty dish to warm me the blue, there but her story rankles.

In giving then with the left its lay the suffice that mine. Do longer that great receive, and just enough thoughts to get from me fly to followed war, through Sestos Hero, sacrifice, amid that should his truth is, ’ says one, its operation

still. Rapt in her running and feeble in. The houses peril of life, no cloud is seen; but I should wonder on his hid from that girdle, lips asunder the peace and Love speaks or were none for long dallying wind serves his own undoing;

oh me! The dream, upon my buff and checked and felt to build to endure what hours, gave thought can pain, for obliteration leave hearts to betrayed, dived down her gentlemen. So was here this pow’r away twould be the glow’d taper, bowed her:

where lives like ye, the wild plum. While upon misprision fleeting their hands are carried a rich of behaviour boughes the brook, and told. Night, and, so pierc’d, agreed, that happen in despise it. And so many to which throb like in love this

lump of earth can be seized by that a warbled out of those what tongue from wealth, and Pain and aged Saturn away: but if I turn to wed; they staid, from our death to close of the rapidity of our mistress joined hands so pierc’d, agreed,

thereupon twould he slouched her on the faltering that my abuses reckon’d none: the queen the doctor at the sweet musickes loue through. The will spirits are not showers, its lay as not admiring ale encourage stage. And seal

shall join in sack of my rude in low coral grove, abiding grapes out Phoebus daunce, and exorcise the pomp of dreadful fight. Perhaps from a band of lights as we doted here is slack; now, thoughted thee, and honour, but breaking of to

part was tied, but well for so I wake and butter. In acrylic fur. Word Miltonic mean sublimer that thrice-turned cud of annoy; stella, whose stillness; in the damsel’s Chance two are soon would I defaced. Now, though neither tower.

Let’s content, here be, with strict injunction brought in themselves with as thy smoke it with savages, the new. Decades out

her you shalt see what women are holds her face in some highly set; and a parlous wit. No happier taste loue doth

widow, maid, sister, come to follows being summoned into the bells upon the horned brought from ugly Chaos’ den

upweighed. With modestly thee from the deeds we wand’ring ale encouraging himself had done. My stockings were blown,

the beldam, who puff your choose you say that starry for some machinist at high upon the churchyard conquer all my

though still behind he lay in russet robes to mind that to hold my poor old Susan’s scope to face he reckless, icily

regular, splendours, and all on every water hall, or the lade o’ my songs, then you praise, ineffably, left

its throws upon you against my poor word, or rather cite through all my hell. Oh Graces locked hand rushed and we were turned

to wander whose language Fescennine. Were it changeably reflection of need of beauties, which you do us, Prince

I am naked trees turn my view? There my heart, and nowe imploy they most richest wine from my cold virgin-troop of

Toies, your strived the main tree does Love,—only this, that dignify must seen thou wilt; for in thrall; and her of the heartless

present, regret—no major part papa, one part my heart’s thick stain of lost in their treasure clog him, like Samuel

from the fabulous little maid, or wak’st thou know’st how the bastioned tide the same and thou in debateth kind of

them before you. But chafing metaphysics to the angrily: What Folly, Jámi, wearing of spite of Peru.

And, if more they are but earth. Under the sea. We are of her very earthen close beside every well, when thou one.

That which mount up to those white rush, but earth the town know i’ve marriage-bed, be kept. With nectar— starlings carry backwoods

the cloud; blood will not come—to be, and it gives the price of right, nor I half therein Leander an Alien Shah

forest simple child—little, perhaps when the straw and I contentment was. That smile, while his loneliness with she went,

the place: let it yield ye, when fate shall resign my lips like Lords were needed to hill. Glow on thee, view and quarrels last

childish he world in health away the widow, maid, how often look at so particularly sets you perhaps, with

someone else. Spilled among them please: or bid it on martyrdom. Than dreams mocked and slowly from Hebe Hebe Jove it, stands.—She

walls; the door opened the letter, snowed it Venus’ nun, as Nature Hasan—on their name away fled, by their trailing,

but slanted to the strife, since floor; and South, cap and spring. Plants all agree: for in my Julia, come thought, and yellow

and quiet, as the north is plaidie, kind of all my bethrothed. All comment upon myself thus taken, await the

transferred to tenderneath the holds good will soon will discourse and not to love is a small wind,— and now on this knows, and

still, patchy and his lonely the fuel; and then as plants all asunder on her backs on us and have criminal.

“To Venus in absent from me. Exacts the resembled. As he rode, and brave with he turns a child, assume the mass

for all past that you envy of our flesh and stay till the hearts of the war. And they could burn. And on her, as the pillow

bundle unthreshed corn bows all honour strength. That tedious lest his lov’d remembers, through sweets, at sight, to take

him: Gentle pleased, had leaves. And clear and his old chain it went, with a bootless held you with dead seaman’s attire, each

wrinkled holy churchyard lie, my sister, come! Like the garden. Unless I tell, sweet Electra, and the tomb, a neighbour

of the heard a dear self, a sheathed darkens ev’ry green mirror on my friend must full of pity cannot we dote

on, when fate shall dream of Sodom blue. Moved accents and kitsch. For he alone beloved we have I to save his

guardianship both are one sweet, even to surprised, unknown name more joys depart. Sun and I myself and care! I’d

wake and hospitable: or, maybe the friend and cursed day after pay the riches of this horse nor weep: a maid? That

resemble—thus long tunes from the sun went down, to stealth of wild plumes are reeking would trusty night and titles that floods

together pull of wrath half-hidden influence with Fortune follow swiftly blur into the less calf at eight dale,

and I expects no fair, ay me so wondrous moment. What thrill and whose set our blooming was dawning skill. Such towns as

Troy; sylvanus weeping? Would you to me. Only this, her heard, and allow’d still I saw in your loved with is his mind!

Still rebellious heart of fellow, in great primal night; so was her eyes, than she, you hear than spurring in your dear! Quit,

the waterfall, lest we defer our joys? Thus the proof of all I turn softly said, and in the sphere, all mirth the Prophet

in the drinking of the wife. Stay without they took him, hesitation last offence, alcides like what is beads

of fragrant as the seemed to their shining pyne I, you know’st thou art cold—yet Eloisa weeps threaded Bacchus hungrie office;

yet not for the noon of love. And while altar rise, in pity to the ground. But being, as if my youth, another

said, curse that’s out him in your heaven with thy mind, to ease and gone, the gloomy sky: but with this feast, his with

redoubled. I look’d the ring, blue sky prevail than a mandrake root, teach tree limb that music, ” She answer of depart.

Who seek him the grove it will soon them. Both demand; all other, wine despise the lightning for you canst find what she should

have thee, let we a blink, by a’ unseen; but that grown, I had but she spirit is liking,— ah, it is liberty,

and flowers of a kiss, and every water the strife, since that fiends, so well, and imps he flitters that will spirit bade

themselves: what means I fill, with sweet controller of base degeneral fire, a pleased. The Doctor, looking up to all

soothe my pensill laid: a Countenance due to thee. Well sad Eloisa see! Nothing what happens, both Was and so nigh.

And they that sad offices? Then since I was thine are thing: my mother simplicit new; now betwixt king Arthur’s reign,

a lustfull leafe is wanting no suits just from kiss again is overruled by thy granting, at there upbraiding lover

solitudes and botching virtues are their treasure clothed in the avenging marriage- bed, be kept, and for my

patent back into the queen seraglio has gone another? But it was a pulses throat It will I saw my fates,

severall waies, to hear, with friend who dwells in tower his grave united time of it my fault if you no feel myself

about lovers knowledge with that might had been, through to sea, knew it, that I could you most my suit: his court-Galen

poised and a hey nonino, for understood. If not to secretly have been to glitter the king safety in the

fruit to her was afraid, and smooth purple was up, and casts a dusky caves, smears with blushes scarcely the town shadow

and then run out the twins her breath be here our feel most stifled within those the scent of gods whose smiled Neptune felt. That

hops about you: on you my radiant Hero wrung. We lodged in a conversion has given us letter face; the

wood, whether in a race of this Venus none, the darkness and vitamins. All they harped on their vigils pale-ey’d virgin’s

cheerly swum. But have take it worth in man’s art a gift prevailed, full in all fair sun, looked them go. Thus forth musicke

made a point to his stately taken, to be account bad what I think water nymphs should be still weep while I drink ashamed!

Of herself before is Betty, and Peace pipe of any tyrant his arms and o’er the shores by heav’n I longd the

flies dragged slowly from the sallow grows passage of just as I was they that undertake. May stay for amorous look.

How heavy heart of a pigeon taste, so was he? Phoebus gan availe, his ears: the buzzing of to part a barbed

hook, to hunt the queen seraglio has its earth to bonie Mary, charlie gat the boon that sweet, reawakens all ado

enclose, and half therefore true nobility from their virtue known, the wild they then takes for you should have thou, O sun,

and take his fair and swore her face of the bound that cypress, fearless, because to say thus for aught upbraided crime remove,

and the way, and with many a lustfull leafe is descried. It was straine; nor jealous in perfection, starting

tranquilly, when I came feature, give to face in acrylic fur. And knocker, rape, war, lust, and good, because each wrinkles.

Her veil reaching is discolours of the shrines about to my early immortal as thou climbed in pray’r; no hand is

our lives. Stella, Soueraigne of all the great; his burn such as thy friend! It is the parently be back to you! And you

have been cut, and of four and sacred veil, thinking angel justice of the comfort but shows the pony moves, the precede

the sweet loves, her turned as this bleeding hands were awhile larks, with his worth in marble shadow from her e’e. Of a

larger soul, and empty shoes, and brother ruddiest houses of bliss, a few poor Susan then, no more overruled by

delight to pant, in all I felt the grounded thud that ease; and to your in youth to bonie Mary, charlie gat the culprit

answer. He laid in truth, that mars your mind is gone; only repented and Johnny, Johnny burr at your power

as we entered with thy breath, from their heart, you know’st how the youthful serve. If not for ever. �� Speaking eyes; ye soft bed.

But uncertain dark defiles. And sole enemy. To the other, and all that the lakes for your pain if she moaning tresses several ways, at one contagious was dropped an old hostess forth, to drop like to embracements was

laid and we go, are the married lady, and majestic marrow changed, for hire of low-though her hand, hath filled, with tears! Oh saints with a hill far from the sweetness the Iliad we are not a few, the news from his carousing mynd, yet

won above and how she’s safe in the helpless name. As we rode many seen, and the greedy love, that pitie: looke from thee: but where burned, cast and even I in the place; and as old Falstaf says let us e’en talking, cheered all that do not

one who opened as thin light as pole from the night track shifted clear. Then if it self it on martyrdom. And some better comes again, not less of the tremble round the very first relies, as well mov’d, oh Thou never seen enamour’d

let me be obsequious in hope, her pale marble, I need me than thy blind; nor did I cry, phillis the fame keeps learne heart’s the vine oblivion of love is upon a slothful years old, since, and the sky prevails. Not even for

springs peace that stand, the kingly to be seen the doctor’s door she was one I’m like Horace and fair? From leaf to lead thee deny, in my heart to shun, when victims at you never fountain, made war. I took fire, like those two wand’ring

aromatic scale that bottomless calf at eight idea of yce: so as some bay-window- ledge is crescent flies, I all adieu! Her threatening grace of those dark are sails to a firmament glistered round concert strifes, murmurs of him?

And the blinder my father knew whereon a wounds have seen his burn’d, since Jove’s first enclosed thy sweet to take the doctor

nor near, quoth shall dwells in the king, but cannot err, we kissin’ Theniel’s bonie Mary, charlie Grigor tint his horse

nor wisdom is in her than their chose: Fabricius from labor in the doubtful bliss, an amatory banquets, Doric

music enter in the immortal purity. Nature, whereon the king, which loves of abandon fruits of hers

could not wed. Warm-lighted, Hero much proved with the dark Dear Cloe, how oft, when he has made banked his souls can no more and

walking thought—meet, if she made. Of two gold or she goes far. And Betty now on the road she distant stay, and cast you.

By the skies; clouds inter-section meet, a Haire than mine, and worse highly disdainful eyes. Why should in effect. Is mute

among. And what I should be gone alone she hall, or call that means this generate hinds? My Maud and cooked dolphin when

the called it in men’s love a scroll, suck my lamented as if by some inscription comes by the worth, and kisses; and

rage, danged with Florian, stay sets you so long ere thou feeble to add a story tell; that mars that. Yet, evilly

feigning arms threw, and we have called it down flame with mints in nature apt seruants the palace whereon the right, as

he who could not speed, being surface- eyes were of hidden rose, and roe, freely flowers fresh in my Ear till hope for

the orchard of my rurall music than nymphs humbly made the iron net which you tell her ivory skin white, in sleeps

in her this pace perceived them runs head. Whose hands and blowing Hero’s gentlemen, bestowing. And heaven to the queen.

And I’ve dote upon. Behold! Peep for truckers, if you graunt one or other naked tree, for fame young are their full in low estate that he and, as Cupid the diff’rence breede my

buff and childish he wandering gentle youth, full of youth before him swim, and legal ways, at one should fail. Us all, that a gleam of death who love the hears, tis losing moment

face, that hours, and sweet Electra, and while. And rave, which glows now, ready spent, above the lovely women if it seems, I thus concluded thud that I cannon’s through the world

in this lump of dreadful fears carousing man he had sent; but the bargain made. Lo, this world with that drink in therefore himself disgrace: knowing would my rude word. He first, that bottom,

bleaching it from his due; my political blocking pleasure mark upon her passion to mix with error lies. Hours, better spent in vain the worldly bent, i’ll rather lep?

How many? Love scorch and tears beguiled. Strange my should rise and past request to make me: I’ll give, but howsoe’er king my griefs

to the ball that glistered without your lovers use to follow sand, sends the fool, thy own Idol, and by his beard,

the help thee, and now can I do now? The grave the baldnesse strange, as sure is liberate, tremble Venus’ glass of gin.

And all him from thee: then sadly he and dare not thus vse the walk in and that we both be o’er, where too ripe a judgment

and solicit new; now the bed shot a shady thereupon twould soon, with Time debate, covering it give you surpass

as much more may require of love. Perhaps he feast. But told you have content run into thee, I didn’t say it.

Your subject servant forth their servants full of faith I swore in bear a’ the season will blot? Let us e’en talking

on a brother did if a fool’s eyes. Tonight consume us all, and growes cold what shine some gross flattery love

them hearts. Of some conceal, beneath, can succeeds from better to be more cause of other, as they are by this man or

words, if it has o’erflows, proud horsemanship, oh! Transformed and celebration and with a heart with furs and honour is

no penance due to Loue did banished bats, blinding the pomp to flight her mind pure, some carriage- knot. For God. Claws of a

young, so were sinners may serve a knight. And now the doctor from whence him not fear, to command, of such a man, which you

are amaz’d, but said or doomed the friend! Sighs that waft a sister to dusk, nothing eyes. Long was he took pity. To Venus’

nun, as Nature watery tree. Said and longing, every waters for when their state-thing it home again. And now

all flowered courtesy to thee from myself and burn. In Seattle, in sighs to the hears not Hobbinol, the name?

#poetry #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Markov chains #Markov chain length: 6 #146 texts #ballad sequence

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shadowlineswriting · 1 year

Text

Morgenstern

In 2011, a book came out that stunned the world of voracious readers--but you wouldn’t necessarily have known it. I don’t recall seeing The Night Circus, by Erin Morgenstern, really advertised at all. I remember seeing it occasionally in bookstores and libraries. Then I remember seeing it everywhere...but still, it wasn’t really discussed.

The thing that shocked me most was that, if you found someone who’d read it, the reaction was immediate. They’d smile, get this dreamy look on their face, and just say, “Yes.” Ordinarily when you come across someone who adores a certain book they gush about it and tell you all the reasons you should check it out. Not The Night Circus fans. They’ll just smile with this look in their eye that comes from knowing something you don’t.

Obviously, I had to read it.

And then I understood, and I imagine I have the same smile on my face when people ask me about it.

I don’t even know really how to explain this book. It’s true that it’s about a circus, but it’s also about magic. Still, that isn’t what makes the book so lovely. It’s the way Erin Morgenstern wrote it. Reading this book makes you want to sip apple cider and wear silk and look at the stars like you’ve never seen them before. The way she describes things and people, the imagination that went into creating this story, the way she evokes emotion purely by having a good vocabulary...this book is perfect.

Once you know, you know.

The literary world waited eagerly for Erin Morgenstern to write another novel after The Night Circus. They waited a year, then another. Then five. Then eight.

When she published The Starless Sea in 2019, expectations were unbelievably high. I remember counting the days (literally) until the book came out. In fact, I remember telling my mom that waiting for this book’s release date was possibly the hardest thing I’d done that year, and she responded by pre-ordering it for me as a surprise so it would be ready for me after work that day. She’s good like that.

I confess, I was nervous about reading The Starless Sea. The early reviews were...well, they weren’t bad, but they weren’t necessarily fabulous. People described it as confusing and over the top. I would never let a review stand between me and a book by an author I love, though, and I was encouraged that one review described The Starless Sea as “a love letter to storytelling.”

I’m really not sure I could put it any better. It’s true that this book is a slow burn. Nothing to move the plot forward actually happens until you’re nearly 20% of the way through (in fact, in that 20%, you aren’t even sure there is a plot), and you really don’t see how the pieces of the story come together until you only have 15% of the book left. This book requires patience.

At first, only my determination and belief that Erin was going to turn out another masterpiece kept me going. I did struggle with how many stories are contained within this one story, but I knew, I knew, that if I could reach the end it would be worth it. And it was. I finished the book and my first thought was, A book like that has never been written, and probably never will be again.

It is now 2023. Every year since 2011, I’ve wanted to reread The Night Circus and every year I’ve found a reason not to, because I wasn’t sure my memory of its perfection could be lived a second time. Every year since 2019 I’ve put off rereading The Starless Sea, as well, for mostly the same reason.

However, we are on the Ms, and there are self-imposed rules to follow. I reread both books over the past couple of weeks and I am ecstatic to report that they are still flawless. I actually thought The Starless Sea was much better the second time, if possible, because I already knew how the stories wound up connected and that made them more enjoyable to read.

I did learn that Erin Morgenstern books are really not meant to be read back-to-back. These are the types of books you have to live in for a while even after the back covers close, so my one mistake was reading them within a week of each other. Next time, I’ll know better and I’ll pace myself :)

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ladyartemesia · 3 years

Note

Since I'm in love with your writings and your taste in reading too. I know that your favorite is Brother's best friend or Best friend's brother, I would like for you to recommend me some of them please ❤️❤️🙏

꧁Brother’s Best Friend꧂

Clandestine by @junghelioseok is fantastic. Jeon Jungkook is the best friend of the reader’s slightly younger brother. He’s sexy and charismatic and DEFINITELY knows what he wants. The growth of his (clandestine) connection with the reader is utterly delicious. This one made me laugh and swoon.

Guarded by @xjoonchildx is basically legendary in my book. The lady in this story is not only Hoseok’s best friend’s sister—she is also his BOSS’s sister and by boss I mean mafia. This is the first installment in Ana’s amazing Rap Line Mafia Universe and it delivers on every level. Hoseok is tasked with protecting the boss’s sister after she is being threatened by sinister forces unknown and sparks fly.

Plums and Melons by @winetae is THAT FIC. The fic I just daydream about sometimes. It’s a fic about two people caught hard in eachother’s gravity. It’s so sexy and cerebral and the main characters are so hot. Jimin is just a guy trying to live his life, but whatever is brewing between him and his best friend’s sister is driving him insane. He wants to be a good guy, but she just isn’t playing fair.

Are You Sure? by @cutechim is such a swoon-worthy and touching piece of wonderful. I tell you I was MOVED. This is beautiful and emotional and EXTREMELY satisfying. Taehyung’s best friend has a sister who he has always secretly adored. When she comes to him and asks for some intimate experience, he isn’t strong enough to say no—not when she’s everything he ever wanted.

Drivers License and Detour by @gyukult is sweet and tender and just a fantastic coming of age story. The reader has been in love with her brother’s best friend, Park Jimin, for almost all of her youth... but what is going on in his head?It’s a tender story that really warms the heart. AND I am happy there is more coming. I would read about these two all day. She published the second part and oh my gosh it’s so incredibly perfect I could scream. This was just such a beautiful journey every step of the way.

Milestone by @1kook is probably one of the first brother’s best friend BTS fics I read and it is amazing. I adore it so much. Because Jungkook is your brother’s best friend he is there for every milestone in your life. But you’ve both grown up now and neither of you are kids anymore. It’s hot. Like really hot. Dialogue and set up are so sharp and fast paced I really loved every second.

Young God by @njssi is scorching hot smut with complicated feelings and warm revelations. You think it’s going somewhere and then it goes somewhere else and honestly it is so awesome the whole time. Jungkook was always your brother’s sweet little friend, but he’s returned determined to show you that he is all grown up.

Tease by @caiuscassiuss floored me. I loved it so much! I spent the whole story just squealing happily about everything. This story has it all. It’s scorching hot. It’s enemies-to-lovers. It’s Taehyung. Jungkook’s sister and Kim Taehyung do not get along AT all—so she decides to bring him to his knees by making him desperate for her. It’s a wild and completely awesome ride.

Wasabi by @ironicarmy is a classic. Hobi is a bad boy that Namjoon vehemently refuses to let near his precious baby sister. But love is too strong a force and soon Hobi and the clever object of his desire decide that some things are worth fighting for. It’s a really sweet story of facing challenges and relying on the people you love. Warm and fuzzy feelings abound, but it’s also super hot.

Forbidden by @btssmutgalore is a masterwork blueprint for this trope. Hobi is a carefree player who falls brutally for Taehyung’s sister. They two of them eventually give in to a VERY steamy series of secret encounters and feelings get very involved. This is hot, suspenseful, and emotionally satisfying. Excellent characterizations as well.

Prohibido by @personasintro is an office AU with a twist. Namjoon is not only her brother’s best friend, he is also her boss and the two of them have incredible chemistry. Watching them pretend that they’re not insanely attracted to each other is so endearing and hot. Reader is convinced her feelings are one-sided. It’s lovely and fun. Definitely a slow burn, but worth it.

Strawberry Kisses by @kimnjss is a fic that I devoured in one sitting and then re-read again immediately. Jeon Jungkook is a player who matches with a girl on a dating app and has no idea she is the sister of his revered mentor and close friend, Min Yoongi. I laughed. I cried. I GASPED OUT LOUD a bunch. It was a whole thing. This is a hybrid social media/written AU and it’s pretty much perfect.

Tempestuous by @ppersonna is so special to me because it was written at the very beginning of my friendship with Lindy. She was looking for requests and I was quick to request my favorite trope. Lindy is bae now and this fic she wrote is marvelous. You are forced to spend the weekend in the same house with your sexy arch-rival Taehyung who just so happens to be your brother’s best friend. Naturally snarky hotness ensues.

Off Limits @floralseokjin is basically a famous entry when it comes to this trope. It’s a Jin fic and Miss Jordan writes EXQUISITE Jin characterizations. There is a hint of mistaken (or unknown) identity in this one which makes it even more fun. Sparks fly between you and a devilishly charming Kim Seokjin at a party. You don’t find out until later who he really is—and why he’s off limits.

And finally I’ll recommend my own Brother’s Best Friend fic All I Want for Christmas is You featuring a charming Taehyung who falls for Jimin’s sister. Jimin basically blackmails his best friend into escorting his sister to several holiday galas. Tae and Jimin’s sister have never gotten along, but they soon discover (through multiple pranks and mishaps) that love (and desire) are out of their control.

Not Your Fairytale by @yeojaa is incredibly sweet and tender. Erin really does emotion so well and her Yoongi characterization is honestly so nuanced and brilliant. This story is about a girl who had her heart broken and instead of canceling the cake tasting she scheduled with her philandering ex-fiancé, she wrangles the tsundere best friend of her brother to pretend to be him.

Brother’s Best Friend by @bts-hyperfixation is a short and sweet moment between two people who have been fighting their attraction for each other. It is so hot and delicious I tell you. You’re in trouble and the person you call is probably the person you shouldn’t—but you aren’t the only one willing to take a risk tonight.

Off Limits by @kaddiiction will break your heart and put it back together again. This one was recommended to me by a reader and I cannot thank them enough. It is fantastic. Jimin is a player but he crosses the line when he begins a liaison with his best friend’s sister. Still there is far more to this situation—and Jimin—than meets the eye.

꧁Best Friend’s Brother꧂

Orectic by @gimmesumsuga is one of my favorite fics of all time. It is a hybrid fic where the reader is a cat hybrid and Hoseok is the brother of her best friend who comes to stay with her while her bestie is away... It is so tender yet SO HOT. I’m telling you I cannot even keep count of how many times I have read it.

Theophany by @ilikemesometaetaes was a JOURNEY. It made me so emotional. Like the story centers around art a lot, but let me tell you, this fic IS art. Jimin is just the man of my whole dreams in this piece as the brother of a former best friend with an irresistible allure. It is a coming of age story with the most beautiful twist. AND THE LOVE SCENE—oh my gosh I screamed it was so good. This story is just so so good.

Run by @neonlights92 is Jungkook’s story in the mafia universe I am COMPLETELY OBSESSED WITH. You don’t have to read the whole series to understand it (BUT YOU SHOULD). This is best friend’s brother meets arranged marriage and honestly it’s fantastic. Jungkook doesn’t do love and affection and being forced into an arranged marriage with his sister’s friend who has always had a crush on him is just a blow to his freedom... or is she? GAH! This story—like all the stories in this universe—is superb.

The Magic to Happiness by @readyplayerhobi is a best friend’s brother meets teachers AU meets Hogwarts AU. Now... all of those are top tier tropes so finding them together is like winning the lottery. Hobi was once just a skinny kid who had obvious heart eyes for you (his sister’s best friend) but now he’s tall and confident and really attractive. The magic of this story is evident in every word of the sweet relationship that blooms between these two.

Problem with You by @monvante is so sweet and kind of hilarious. I giggled so much! Jungkook is your best friend’s brother and he is kind of too perfect and too handsome and he’s always around and you hate him and he hates you... Right? When you cross paths with the infuriating Jeon Jungkook at your best friend’s wedding, you discover that you may have been wrong about a great many things.

Show Me Yours and I’ll Show You Mine by @ktheist is so so SO fabulous. I was obsessed with this (now complete) series from the very first installment. You and Tae are besties who have know each other since you were little kids, but lately Tae’s older brother Jin has been lookin mighty fine. Just how far can you push him till he breaks. And if he breaks.... what then?

This list is BY NO MEANS exhaustive. I just used it to compile some of my FAVORITES in this particular trope.

➪ IF YOU HAVE ANY OTHER BROTHER’S BEST FRIEND FICS I SHOULD CHECK OUT PLEASE COMMENT (seriously please I love this trope so much) AND I WILL ADD THEM TO THIS LIST.

➪ Newer Additions are in PINK!

➪ Newest Additions are in BLUE

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look-at-the-soul · 2 years

Text

The Photoshoot (Part 18)

Cillian Murphy x OC

Previous parts here

How do you think the family will take the news? How will they find out? Think Cillian should pay Erin a visit? I’d love to hear your thoughts 💕 There’s a flashback in the end… thank you for reading!

“Ah, shit.” Cillian mumbled holding the phone between his ear and his shoulder.

“What is it?” She asked on the other side of the line.

“Dropped the fucking keys. Give me a sec.” Yael heard him curse one more time as well as noise from the bags he said he had, went to the grocery shop on his way back home. “No, Scout, down… sush.”

Yael smiled while listening to him, he was struggling with the multitask and suddenly the line went dead.

Looking around her place even though it was all the same, everything was so different at the same time, without them. It had been really hard to say goodbye at the airport, she was so worried Scout’s cage would get lost, she had a tag being made for the cage with Cillian’s phone as well as hers just in case. She tried really hard not to break in front of Cillian that day when she kissed him goodbye over a week and a half ago, but he needed to go back to his hometown, they had been talking over the phone whenever he got a chance between rehearsals, only short calls to check on each other, and then they were able to talk longer at night.

Yael’s phone buzzed again, but this time it was on Skype.

“Can you see me?”

“Not yet, your screen is black.”

“Bloody thing.”

“Don’t touch it! There you are.” She smiled when Cillian’s face appeared on her screen.

“Hey.” He leaned on the palm of his hand, a wide smile on his face.

“Hi, I miss you.”

“Miss you more. Sorry about that, I kept dropping things.”

“It’s all good, how was the rehearsal?”

“It was fine, they are still trying to figure out the dates and stuff.”

“You guys were all laughing so hard when I called.”

At some point Enda even took Cillian’s phone to say hello to her, started chatting out of nowhere, asked her lots of questions as if they were friends from a long time ago. He seemed really nice and invited her to the play.

“I don’t remember what that’s was about, they are so shitty funny, they started mixing the lines… We were having a good time.” He let out a little chuckle. Yael treasured those little moments with him so deep in her heart, listening to his stories about his day, how much he enjoyed the making of a new character. “What were you doing?”

“Uploading some new photographs on my web page and refreshing the pictures on my Instagram.”

“What?”

“Instagram, I’m still trying to figure out some things I’m finding new photographers that share their shoots there, look.” She showed him some. “I posted some pictures and people I don’t know are leaving comments and asking where I found the payphone red cabin…”

“Some interviewers had asked me about that.”

“I’m not so sure of posting personal things, I don’t feel comfortable with the idea of strangers having access to my private content, I just want to share about my work.”

She didn’t even post the photographs she took of him, it felt so personal now that they were together. Even though she saw Vass and the SIGM* accounts posting the content.

“There are good things like this.” He motioned their conversation and the fact that they could see each other. “But the rest, having someone you don’t know, getting the chance to see something so personal.” He shook his head.

She wasn’t hungry, didn’t feel like cooking just for herself.

“You left your food untouched again?” He was talking to Scout.

“Scout’s not eating? Why?”

Cillian shuddered. “I don’t know babe, he didn’t eat this morning, left the food all day here.”

“Must be weird for him the new place?”

“You miss your mama, huh?” Her heart skipped a beat when she heard him say that with such loving tone. “Tell her that you’ve got a girlfriend now.”

“What?!”

Cillian turned to look at her through the screen grinning. “It’s a husky, lives in the neighborhood, it’s beautiful white with a little grey, blue sky eyes, she’s four years, her owner lives here on the same block, his wife just passed away a few months ago and his kids thought he could use some company.”

“You knew her?” He nodded.

“Yeah, used to watch them walking by together all afternoons.”

“Was she sick or something?” Cillian shook his head.

He could only think of how fragile life was.

“Car crash.” Cillian scratched his head, his hair seemed longer now. “I offered to have him for dinner one of these days, maybe he can bring Leah.” He looked down at Scout. “Can’t believe you know I’m talking about her.”

“Hey! Scout I’m gonna get jealous, I thought I was your only girl.” She heard him bark in the background. “Yesterday I went shopping to one of those antique shops and look what I got.”

He was left alone on the call while she went to her room. A few seconds later, Yael came back.

“Wait, I’m going to put this under some better light.”

“They were left in a corner.”

“I’m not an expert, but that looks real.”

“You mean…?”

Cillian nodded trying to focus on the screen.

“Look for a little engraving inside the ring?”

“It has something, but I need to clean them.” She stared at the ring imagining the story behind it. Cillian saw her smile starting to draw.

The need to pull her in for a hug and a kiss growing suddenly. He wanted to come home after the rehearsals and see her there more than anything.

Hopefully she would be flying to Ireland in two more weeks, he would fly back as soon as he had a free day.

For now, the text and constant calls have been a good resource of contact between them, but it obviously couldn’t compare to be together. He couldn’t wait for the day where he could hold her in his arms.

“Hey go and eat your food.” He pointed to the full bowl.

“If Scout isn’t eating, maybe you could try to play with him? Throw the food in different directions, he loved that and he keeps running.”

Cillian rolled his eyes. “What makes you think I’m gonn-” She just smiled at him, that smile that made him feel over heels for her.

Sitting on the floor, he threw it and Scout ran off after it. Yael could hear the paws on the floor, running after the food.

One more time, Cillian rolled his eyes thinking how she was right.

The doorbell interrupted their conversation.

“You’re early man.” She heard Cill said to whoever arrived. “I need to take this monster for a walk first.” Scout was curious about the new guest.

Finally showing his face on the phone again, Cillian winked at her.

“I gotta go babe, I’m walking Scout for a bit and then we are going out for a pint.”

“You’re not driving back, are you?”

“No, I’m getting a cab.”

She sighed. “Just text me when you head back home please?”

Saying goodbye, they hang up.

“Mom said you came back different, but she forgot to mention you came back with a son.” His brother Padd joked petting Scout.

Cillian made a face while taking the leash.

“That’s the worst thing you could’ve said.”

Padd looked at his big brother with curiosity.

“What is going on?” He asked as they strolled down the street.

Cillian sighed, but he had to start saying it out loud. “Remember Erin?”

“Yeah, why? You said over the phone you guys broke up… are you getting back together? Cause Mum is still hoping you two would get marri-”

“She’s pregnant.” He said it bluntly.

Paidi stopped walking, Cillian tried avoiding his gaze, until he asked if he was joking.

“Oh, I wish this was a joke, trust me…” Scout pulled him to keep moving.

“I really could use that pint now.”

Cillian chuckled. “I need a fucking barrel, man.”

“Pregnant?” He repeated. The process of taking in the shock was hard, Cillian had been there. “You don’t know how to use a fucking condom?”

Taking Scout back, Cillian filled in most of the blanks for his brother.

“So when I arrived you were talking to her?”

Shaking his head, he explained: “That was Yael, my girlfriend.”

“We are getting the drinks back to your place, because I don’t understand what the fuck is going on.”

Half an hour later, they were opening a beer for each.

“Still can’t believe Erin is having your baby… I’m so glad you are the one always upsetting mum and dad.” Cillian smacked the back of his youngest brother’s head. “Hey! I’m not the one knocking up my ex.”

The brothers exchanged a look, after all these years, they could still read each other’s mind.

“I know what you are thinking.” Cillian said raising his eyebrows, taking a sip.

“Sorry, I can’t help it…”

Leaning on the table, he stayed silent for a few minutes. It didn’t change anything, but opening up to his brother surely made him feel better.

“The only way to know if this is true or not is running a DNA test once the baby is born.” He finally admitted out loud. “But, if the results come back and are positive, I could never forgive myself for doubting you know?” He placed the cold bottle against his cheek. “I mean, denying my own blood would be so low.”

“Definitely.” Pad looked in his direction. “Tell me about this incredible woman shaking your world.”

Cillian’s face lighted immediately, just thinking about her. “Oh, man I don’t even want to start with that ‘cause if I do, I won’t shut up, and you are going to blackmail me when she comes.”

“She must really love you, if she decided to be with you despite… well all.”

“I fucking love her too.” Opening another beer for them, Cillian told his brother all about her. Over the curse of a few more beers it was easier to let the alcohol do the talking.

“Or you love fucking her.” Paidi retorted twisting his words.

Arching one eyebrow, Cillian drunkenly chuckled. Best fucking sex of his life, he couldn’t get enough of her.

“You’re going to piss mum so fucking much.” Pad ran his hands through his hair, imagining the picture. “Dad will just look at you and do that thing with his head down.” He imitated their father shaking his head. “But mum… bet she’s going to tell you to do the right thing, marry Erin.”

“That’s not fucking happening.” He was a grown man, he made his decisions, but of course his family mattered a lot to him. He was determinate to do the right thing, but on his own terms.

***

This was harder than she thought, and she was worried he would be out drinking until late.

She needed to edit a lot of pictures, so she would probably be awake when he returned home. Uploading the photographs to her drive, she started to edit the first shot, a furniture workshop was starting a new line, minimalist. Even though she preferred to work with people, this was one of the contracts that payed the bills, and it had its perks, a chair can’t roll their eyes at you for asking for an specific look or pose, but still, working with people gave her the opportunity to learn and grow and force herself to go the extra mile. It was a blessing to have this amount of work, she was fortunate to have a job she loved, but right now, the only thing she wanted the most was to fly to Ireland to be with Cillian.

And even though she knew he would get a cab, she couldn’t stop the memories.

“Could you please wait until we get to the cottage?” Her mother’s fingers tried to stop dad from opening the can in the middle of their seats. Daddy must’ve been thirsty, it was a hot day, she had been running outside with Violet earlier, but she couldn’t come down to the cottage this time. The twins went to a school camp for the weekend.

“Don’t fucking start over the same Isla.”

Looking to her right, Arap, her older brother was sleeping, the walkie talkie on his hand slipped to the floor of the car.

“I’m just asking you to drive carefully.” Mummy’s voice was low, but she could still hear her. Yael got rid of her seatbelt to pick up the walkie talkie, Arap never let her play with that. Sebastian, sitting on her left was looking outside the window. He had the other one in his backpack.

“Just stop whining.”

Bending forwards, her small hand tried to reach the floor. She almost got it…

“I come here to relax not to hea-”

Mummy yelled: “Be careful!” The vehicle did a sharp move caused by her father behind the wheel, that made her head hit the seat in front of Arap, more hits, on her shoulder, back. Her brothers screamed. She felt something really hard hitting her head. She felt like she was flying for a few seconds.

And everything went black from that moment.

Until she woke up disoriented two days later in a hospital bed and couldn’t feel her legs.

——

SIGM*=So it goes magazine

#That’s what Cill said #cillian murphy #cillian murphy imagine #cillian murphy x oc #cillian murphy fanfic #cillian murphy fanfiction #Cillian #cillian murphy x reader

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broadstbroskis · 3 years

Text

take my hand, wreck my plans | william nylander

a/n: if you’ve been around this blog for a while, you’ve probably seen me talking about “willy fake dating fic” for quite a bit now...well here she is! settle in for a long read (the longest i’ve posted in one go before) and i hope you enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it! so so so much love to literally every single person who cheered me on while writing this, but extra special thanks to @denis-scorianov and @danglesnipecelly for all your love and support

also shoutout to my girl tswift for the title, evermore still slaps

word count: 21.5k

It’s right in the middle of the busiest hours of the day when Steph’s text comes in, which means Aubrey barely even reads the message. She sees the words dinner and Friday and responds that she’ll be there, and then goes back to trying to fix the clusterfuck of code that one of her coworkers messed up earlier in the morning before her project has to get sent off to a client at the end of the week.

By the time Friday comes around, she’s only just managed to fix the code but the project is finished enough to send off as a first draft, so Aubrey races over to Steph and Mitch’s place after work, knowing she looks frazzled as hell from the look on her best friend’s face the minute she enters their kitchen. “Sweetie.” Steph says, then bites her lip.

The feeling is mutual to Aubrey, because she’s giving Steph the same once over that Steph’s giving her. She’d arrived from the office, which took casual Friday to the extreme, in her favorite leggings, denim jacket, and converse- still enjoying the last bit of summer before Toronto turned to fall. Meanwhile Steph was dressed up for the evening in jeans and a flowy top. Her hair was done, her makeup looked beautiful; nothing about her screamed casual dinner at home. Certainly not like the messy ponytail Aubrey was rocking, after running over from work.

“Wine?” Mitch offers, breaking the silence, and Aubrey nods immediately, forgetting entirely about...whatever is going on here in favor of the alcohol she’s been needing since she arrived at the office today.

Mitch pours a glass and offers it out, but honestly, fuck that; Aubrey reaches for the bottle instead and takes a sip. “Nope, listen, these motherfuckers-” And then, she cuts herself off abruptly as she catches sight of the single most beautiful man she has ever had the pleasure of even having in her field of vision, leaning against the counter.

“No, go ahead.” Blondie grins, and fuck that, of course, he’s got the most beautiful smile too. “These motherfuckers, what?”

“Fucked up a huge project at work this week.” Aubrey finishes, pretty lamely, compared to how heated she’d started that sentence.

“Gonna start throwing that at Matts.” Blondie grins again. “Anytime he fucks up a pass to me. This motherfucker.”

“Heh.” She laughs, lifting the wine bottle in a cheers-esque manner, and then, not knowing what else to do, she takes another large sip.

Blondie is still grinning when Aubrey brings her bottle back down and Mitch is doing a very poor job of hiding a laugh, but it’s not hard to see that Steph’s making murder eyes that Aubrey pointedly ignores, so Steph turns her attention away with a sigh. “What’s up, Will?”

“Oh, uh, Matts and Alison nominated me to see if there was anything we could do to help.” Will says smoothly.

“We?” Mitch raises an eyebrow, at the distinct lack of we that arrived with Will.

“Well.” Will shrugs, like that should explain everything, and maybe it does, because Mitch only snorts.

“We’re okay.” Steph jumps in. “We’ll all be out soon.”

Will nods, and leaves Aubrey with one last grin, before he turns and heads out towards their back patio, which must be where dinner is taking place, but as soon as the door shuts behind him, Aubrey turns to round on Steph and Mitch. “What the fuck?”

“Me, what the fuck?” Steph, her best friend since grade school, knows exactly what she’s talking about. “You, what the fuck?”

“This was a setup?”

“You didn’t know?” Mitch cries, turning immediately to his girlfriend and looking incredibly offended.

“Yes she did!” Steph defends. “I literally texted you: Mitch has a single friend we think you’d get along with if you’re interested. Are you free friday for dinner? We were thinking of having you all over. And you said: sounds good I’ll be there.”

“Well, in my defense, work was a dumpster fire this week and I really only skim-read that text.”

“Well now I know why you showed up like that.”

“Rude, Stephanie.” Aubrey sticks her tongue out at her best friend, grinning immediately afterwards, because Steph’s her best friend and she’s the only one she would let talk to her this way. “Just for that I’m not using a glass the entire night.”

“Not like your first impression could get any worse.” Steph deadpans.

“Meh.” Mitch shrugs. “It’s Willy. He’s done way worse.”

Steph sighs, pinches the bridge of her nose, and then looks over. “Could you use your one free hand then to take a second bottle of wine out then please? For the rest of us who’d like some, to share?”

Aubrey grins. “Gladly.”

That this was meant to be a setup couldn’t be more clear to her as the three of them make their way out to the porch with more drinks and some snacks. Mitch and Steph have dragged some of their comfier patio furniture around the firepit; there’s a couple curled into each other on one of the couches, an empty one with Mitch’s favorite type of beer on the table next to it, and one seat open on the couch that’s occupied by Will.

Aubrey shoots Steph a look as Steph practically leaps back onto the empty couch, and then she slips herself into the empty seat next to Will. That level of distinct lack of chill is really her thing, thanks Steph.

Steph merely grins back, formally introducing her to everyone around them. And okay, their friends are cool- like Aubrey knows they are; she’s met more than a few of Mitch’s hockey friends before. She’s many-a-time fifth-wheeled dinner with Mitch and Steph and Matt and Syd. She, Mitch, and Steph still had a group chat going with a bunch of Mitch’s old teammates from the Knights. Hell, Strome and McDavid had joined Mitch in playing with her and Steph on their families’ summer softball team last summer.

But she just can’t seem to understand what they see in Will that they think he’d be good for her. Like sure he’s nice enough, and obviously good looking, and like, yeah she has a good time while she’s there, but like, sparks? Nothing.

Regardless of the lack of sparks between them, it is a fun night, and she curls up in one of the guest rooms in Steph and Mitch’s that night, fully planning on laughing at them the next morning.

Except, the next morning, Mitch is already gone for practice and Steph’s first question is, “So when are you going to see Will again?”

Aubrey frowns. “Uhh I don’t know. Probably whenever you have us both over for dinner again?”

Steph frowns back. “What?”

“What what?”

“You didn’t, like, give him your number? Make plans? Anything?”

“Why would we?”

“Because he’s perfect for you?”

Aubrey gives her a look. Was Steph even at the same dinner that she was? They, like, barely interacted; Will chatting more with Auston and what’s-her-name or Mitch and Auston, and her with Steph pretty much the entire night. “Perfect for me? Seriously? That’s the guy you think is perfect for me?”

She huffs. If Aubrey didn’t know her best friend better she’d think she was offended, but, well, she does. “Yes!”

“No!”

“I mean, at least give it a shot!” Steph needles.

Aubrey pulls a face. “Why? So we can break up and make things super awkward at anything you and Mitch throw for the rest of your lives? No thanks.”

“I’m telling you.” Steph says. “Perfect match.” But she drops it after that, suggesting brunch, an offer that Aubrey immediately agrees to.

-----

It’s a quick stop for Aubrey to pop home to change and pick up her roommate, Erin, before the three girls head over to what’s long been a favorite brunch spot, laughing as Aubrey and Erin watch Steph fire off a series of snapchats to Mitch featuring her bottomless mimosas- her favorite way of asking to be picked up on his way home from practice.

Erin laughs so hard she almost snorts mimosa out her nose as Aubrey and Steph recap dinner from the previous night, but once she recovers, she hits Steph with a look. “I am begging you to invite me to this next time, solely so I can watch the two of them interact.”

Aubrey gasps as Steph laughs. “Rude!”

Erin giggles, beginning to recount the date she’d gone on last night-her fourth with this guy from the gym she belongs to-and Aubrey finds herself nodding along with Steph in all the right places, as friends should, happy that Erin’s happy, especially after her shitty last boyfriend, and eager to meet this guy for more than the five minutes he’d shown up at their door.

Her story is interrupted-for Aubrey, at least-by the vibration of her phone, and she checks the text from an unfamiliar number, rolling her eyes when she sees the message.

hey this is will, followed by an amount of emojis that could only actually be from Mitch.

hi mitch. She sends back.

lol. Comes the response. sorry.

you don’t have to apologize for mitch. i’m familiar

Will reacts to that with a haha and then it’s a while before she checks her phone again, enjoying brunch with her girls and laughing at the look on Mitch’s face as he comes to pick Steph up and realizes he’ll be driving her and Erin back as well.

he’s really found his place between annoying and relentless. Will’s texted, when she checks again a little later, at home on the couch and pleasantly tipsy, deciding what to Netflix with Erin.

that’s his sweet spot. Aubrey sends, and then points halfheartedly at The Office on the screen, well on her way to a post-brunch nap.

-----

Aubrey knows Mitch and Steph well enough to know that’s not the end of it, and sure enough, the subtle (and not so subtle) hints keep coming. But luckily, training camp is about to begin, and so even if they do keep coming, Mitch, and by extension, Will, are both too busy for Mitch and Steph to push anything too crazy on her and Will.

Until suddenly the season begins, and even though things are still crazy for them, suddenly they’ve got days off or afternoons free and she finds that the subtleness of the hints becomes gradually less subtle.

jesus fuck. Will sends one afternoon and she laughs at it immediately, even as he continues typing. tell steph i’m sorry but mitch had to go.

She laughs loudly, which earns her a look from her nearest coworkers. right there with you.

considering just lying and telling him i already took you out last week to just get him off my back jfc.

tried that already. knew i was lying right away. Aubrey sends back. She appreciates him trying, but come on. That was like, the first thing she tried.

well, Will sends, and then those annoying three dots appear and disappear about four times, before he finally finishes. let’s just go somewhere then and get them off our backs.

time and fucking place. She replies.

-----

Aubrey meets Will at a bar that’s close to her work, a couple days after that text exchange, just in time for the end of happy hour. He’s got a drink in front of him already, that he quickly finishes when the waiter comes to take her order, so he can order another one while she orders one of her favorite cocktails, before it becomes full price again at the start of the next hour.

“You know, I thought Mitchy would have been more…” Will trails off, looking thoughtful, but then continues after a moment. “Smug, when I told him we were going out tonight. What’d Steph say?”

“Oh don’t get me wrong. They’ll be smug to each other.” Aubrey tells him, confident that the two of them are at home right now boasting about the fact that they were right. “But if they think we’re actually on the same page now and they say anything that I hear, that would be the end. Downward tailspin, cut my hair six inches, new tattoo, you name it.”

Will laughs. “So it’s like that?”

She nods. “A little lacking in some impulse control.” She holds her thumb and index finger up to him, with about 10cm of space between them, to show him just how poor it is, and Will laughs again.

“Guess I’ll just have to wait for a nice, big I told you so tomorrow.” He says.

Aubrey snickers. “One a day for the next few weeks more like.”

Will shrugs. “Meh, I’ll figure something out to give him a taste of his own medicine.”

“We should.” Aubrey nods absentmindedly, as a comment she’d made to Steph right after the initial dinner comes back to her.

“Should what?” Will frowns.

“Give them a taste of their own medicine.”

“Where are you going with this?” Will asks curiously.

Aubrey grins, as the idea starts to form. “A tragic break up to make things so awkward for the two of them that they’ll regret setting us up in the first place.”

Will pauses for a long moment, but then he grins and leans toward her. “I’m listening.”

-----

Steph is bouncing when Aubrey walks into their weekly Thursday barre class. She’s sure she knows why, but Aubrey gives her a strange look anyway when she slides in next to her. “What?”

“What?” Steph repeats. “Seriously?”

Aubrey laughs. “Use your words, Stephanie.”

“Bitch, you know what I want.” Steph says, which makes the woman in front of them turn and give them a scandalized look.

Aubrey giggles. She’d really just wanted to annoy Steph a little but that was totally worth it all. “Yeah I know. It was good. Like whatever.”

“I hate you so much.”

“I’m going to see him again!”Aubrey protests. “What more do you want from me? I’m not going to like, profess my undying love for him after one date. I’m not Mitch.”

“It was like, our fifth date, and he didn’t profess his undying love for me! He just said he loved me!” Steph huffs as Aubrey snickers. She laughs about it now, they all do, a thing she teases both of her friends about, but she vividly remembers the panic Steph had been in coming home from that date.

“Well.” She says, grinning. “I guess I’ve got four dates to go then. Or maybe Will does.”

“Will’s too chill to do anything like that.” Steph decides, just as their usual instructor enters. “Ridiculous shit is definitely more your move.”

Aub thinks back to her date with Will the other night, where they’d carefully crafted an entire narrative to start this fake relationship, and fights back a grin, because she’s pretty sure Will can be just as ridiculous. He just does a better job at hiding it.

-----

Just after noon one day, a few weeks into her arrangement with Will, Aubrey’s phone buzzes and she more than welcomes the interruption from the current project she’s working on.

need a favor. Will’s sent, followed immediately by, please.

sure, what’s up?

His name pops up on her screen next and Aubrey frowns, swiping to accept the call. “Hey.”

“I’m downstairs.” Will says and she frowns, both at the skipped greeting, and at his words.

“Of my office?” She blurts.

“Yeah.” Will says, like it’s the most casual thing in the world, and Aubrey pushes her chair back abruptly.

“Uh ok. I’ll be right down.” She’s already pushing the button for the elevator, waving off the coworker calling after her, asking if everything’s okay.

Will’s waiting outside, with two cups of coffee in hand, and even though he’d said that he was, Aubrey’s still kind of surprised to see him. He passes her one of the cups in his hand and she takes it, thanking him as she does. “So what’s up?”

“I need a favor.” Will says, starting to walk, and Aubrey follows easily, sipping on the latte he’d brought her.

She laughs. “You said. What do you need?”

“The team’s got this thing on Friday.” Aubrey gives him a look, because she knows what the thing the team has on Friday is, Steph’s been talking about it for a few weeks now, and it is not as casual as Will is throwing it out to her right now. “And I think I need you to come with me.”

“Do you though?” Aubrey says. “Do you really?”

“I tried for you not to.” Will admits, shooting her a grin, which she appreciates. “But, well, it’s a thing I would have brought any other girlfriend to and then Mitchy opened his mouth too…” He trails off.

“So find a dress.” Aubrey sums up.

Will nods. “Please. I’ll pay for it.” He adds, but she brushes it off.

“If we’re still stuck in this for Blue and White, you can buy me a dress then.” She grins, and Will returns the grin.

“Deal.”

-----

Fixing her curls one last time in the mirror by the door, Aubrey grabs her clutch and runs downstairs to meet her Uber. She’s late, not like super late, but more so than she’d hoped to be, even after texting Will that she was running behind with work and that she’d have to meet him at the venue probably, if he didn’t want to be late.

She shoots off a text to him when she gets in the car, letting him know she’s on her way, and makes polite chatter for a few minutes with her driver, leg bouncing anxiously until he pulls up to where she needs to be.

Will’s standing outside the door when she pulls up, like he’s waiting for her as if this was an actual date, looking at something on his phone in the meantime, which gives Aubrey a minute to take a peek at his suit. He looks good; she might not have any desire to actually date Will, but she can absolutely admit to both herself and anyone (including Steph) that he’s probably the most objectively attractive human she’s ever met, and the suit only ramps that up. It’s custom made, perfectly fitted, a navy blue that brings out his eyes, and maybe a little more casual than some others she’s seen but in a good way.

His choice in suits makes her feel better about what she’s wearing. Aubrey’d been trying to work off what Steph was wearing, while making sure that what she'd picked out wasn’t overly fancy for the evening or too similar to what Steph had already chosen, ending up in a knee length dress with a sheer high neckline.

“Hey!” She smiles, catching his attention, mildly disappointed that he doesn’t even flinch in surprise, only looks up as smooth as can be and returns her smile.

“Hey.” He slips his phone in his pocket, reaching out for her hand.

“Fuck, I’m sorry.” Aubrey says immediately, that terrible feeling of letting anyone down instantly relieved when Will waves her off.

“You haven’t even missed the entire cocktail hour.” He says and she feels her eyes widen as he nods solemnly. “Yeah, it’s like that.”

“Our first stop better be to get me a glass of wine.”

Will laughs, pressing the button for the elevator. “Wouldn’t dream of it being anywhere else.”

Will refreshes his own drink as well, and selects a red wine for her after Aub hems and haws over the options for a minute, a choice that she almost can’t bring herself to take a sip of once the glass is in her hand, for fear that she’ll never be able to drink another Malbec again, guessing this one is well out of her price range based on name and bottle appearance alone. (She takes a sip anyway, it’s as delicious as she’d expected).

Will’s smiling, as if waiting for her reaction, like there’s not a wine she doesn’t like (well, chardonnay, but like, even that she’ll drink if it’s all that available). “Should we do this?” Aubrey asks him, ready to watch him be roasted by teammates for the evening, and he nods, hand moving to the small of her back, leading her deep into the crowd.

But for all the shit he claims to have taken recently about her, they must be on their best behavior, out in public. Everyone he introduces her to is nothing but friendly; the few people she’s met before this event greet her with smiles and open arms, welcoming her into the fold.

“Are you sure these are the same teammates you warned me about?” She asks Will, when they have a minute to themselves, just finishing up a long and very nice conversation with Justin Holl, Jake Muzzin and their wives, and thinking of the series of texts he’d sent her this morning about “all these assholes.”

“They’re being nice, just for you.” He insists. His arm is still at her waist; it’s barely left there all night.

“Ugh, so I grew up with seven siblings and I’m not even going to be able to use the skills I got from that to throw down?” She jokes. “What was the point?”

Will actually stops walking for a second, drawing her into him quickly when she stumbles, not expecting the abrupt stop in walking. “You have seven siblings?”

Aubrey nods, wondering if she should bother getting into her family dynamics right now, and settles for a short version. “On my mom’s side, yeah. My parents divorced when I was a baby, and they both remarried. My brother and I have more siblings from both of them; it’s just like a whole thing with my dad.” She winces.

Will’s grinning again, though, like he didn’t even catch it, and he points to himself. “One of six.”

“Oh my god!” She blurts out excitedly, before she can help herself. There’s not many people she knows with sibling counts even close to hers, step and half siblings including, let alone a family like Will’s. “See, you get it!”

“Get what?” She hadn’t even realized that Mitch and Steph had approached them, until Mitch pokes in nosily.

“That younger siblings are actual monsters.”

“You talk to your sisters everyday!” Mitch frowns, because he doesn’t get it; he never has.

“Yeah, your point?” Aubrey gives him a look as the others laugh around them. “That’s literally what having younger siblings is, and you just don’t know it because you are one.”

“Shots fired.” Steph nudges him.

“You’re the younger sibling too!” he nudges her back.

“Mmm, traditionally, Aub and I count all our siblings together, soo.” She trails off, laughing at the look on Mitch’s face.

Aubrey’s nodding; their families had grown up so close that it wasn’t uncommon to see Steph and her sister hanging around with Aubrey and her brothers, from the time they were children, all the way until today. “That’s why when Cam starts driving me crazy when she’s here next weekend, I’m just dropping her at your place. Basically the same thing.”

“Ohh, so she’s definitely coming?” Steph asks, eyes wide.

Aubrey nods. “Confirmed it with my mom today, I’m going to meet her halfway.” She pauses for the briefest of seconds. “Want to come?”

“Yes! Coffee on the way?”

“Obviously!”

“Yeah, Will and I are definitely going to sit this one out.” Mitch nods firmly.

“You weren’t actually invited, but okay.” Steph pats his shoulder mock-comfortingly. “But we should all do dinner when we get back!”

It takes everything in Aubrey not to show the internal panic on her face. She’s insanely close with her sisters, despite the age gap- she’s close with all her siblings, the brothers that she’d grown up probably terrorizing their parents together and the younger ones that terrorize them all now. It was probably unrealistic to think she could make it through “dating” Will without him meeting any of them, especially knowing how close Steph is with them too. “Yeah, that would be fun.”

She feels Will squeeze her side gently, almost comfortingly, but before they can get much further with this conversation, someone’s coming around and asking them to find their seats for dinner, so they split off to their tables, with promises to make plans for the following Friday over the next few days.

-----

Will’s quiet on the drive home after dinner, in his very expensive car, which is fine because Aubrey spends that time marveling over it. Like, she knew he was boujie, but, wow.

“Is your sister staying all next weekend?” Will asks, abruptly interrupting Aubrey’s caress of the soft leather of the seat beneath her legs.

“Hm? Oh yeah.” She nods. “Cam’s been a super pain since Kayls started high school this year since she’s still back in junior high, but worse since Kayls just got invited to her first high school party and it’s next weekend.” She sees Will’s wince out of the corner of her eye and laughs. “Oh my god, you don’t even know the half of it! When I texted Cam to invite her up next weekend, she was like why would I want to come hang out with a bunch of old people like you anyway?”

Will’s laughing and Aubrey’s jaw drops until he shares, “When I was home last summer, my youngest sister made me drop her off at a friend’s house three doors away because I wasn’t cool enough to be seen with.”

She actually laughs at that- if Will, an actual professional hockey player, isn’t cool enough to be seen with, then who is?- but the attitude is so familiar. “They’re super close, Kayls and Cam, and like I kinda get why Cam’s being super annoying about a lot of shit. Like, I know she feels like she’s being left behind. But god, does she have to take it out on the rest of us?” She shakes her head, clearing both the thoughts and a piece of hair out of her face. “It’s just the age, my mom and I talk about it all the time. They’ll be nice again in a few years.”

Will glances over at her briefly with a look of panic on his face, before flicking his eyes back to the road. “That’s not really a comforting statement. As someone with three younger sisters,” He clarifies. “Not someone meeting yours this weekend.” Aubrey giggles. “But actually, I was wondering what your plans were with her on Saturday night? If you wanted tickets to the game for you guys?”

“Oh!” Aubrey blinks in surprise. “That would...that would actually be really nice. She’d like that.”

“Yeah?” She can hear the smile in Will’s voice.

“Well, she’d like the flex on all her friends on Monday.” Aub admits, knowing that her sister could probably care less about actually seeing a Leafs game. “And on the boys, they’d be super jealous.” At his glance, she clarifies. “Cam’s a triplet.”

He mutters something under his breath and she giggles again; she’s pretty sure that was Swedish and she can guess what it was. “But they’re not coming?”

“Not this weekend.” She confirms. She is definitely not hosting all three of Cam, Tyler, and Danny for the entire weekend. No way, no how. “But once they find out you’re offering tickets? I’m sure my phone will be ringing.”

“You know where to find me.” Will shrugs, pulling up in front of her building. “Thanks for coming tonight.”

Aubrey grins at him. “Fooled Steph and Mitch no problems.”

It feels like it takes a second for the comment to register with Will, but when it does, he returns the grin. “Yeah, no problems.”

-----

Steph waits until they are well on the road to meet her mom and both sisters (because in a surprise twist that everyone saw coming, a high schooler got grounded and a party was cancelled) sitting in stop and go traffic, before bringing up what Aubrey knows she’s been dying to ask. “So how’s Will?”

“Fine?” She responds, before she remembers that she’s supposed to know these things and hastens to finish. “It’s been a busy week with like, work and this shit, but like, he’s good.”

Steph makes a noise, like she’s unsatisfied with that answer and Aubrey gives her a look after she’s braked with the masses, waiting for it to pick up again. “But, like, how are the two of you?”

Ah. Ok. So that’s what this is about. “We’re good.” She assures Steph, absolutely certain her best friend is going to see right through her. “Just like, figuring shit out, you know? It’s still new.”

Steph’s nodding. “I mean, it wouldn’t be if you’d just gone out when Mitch and I first brought you to dinner…”

“Stephanie.” Aubrey says warningly, picking up speed, probably with too much hope that the traffic has cleared.

“Fine!” Steph laughs. “I know, I can’t say I told you so to you or you’re going to panic and break up with him and probably dye your hair and get bangs or something, but like. I’m super happy for you guys. You were so cute last week.”

“What?” Aub says blankly, because she really doesn’t have much else to say, but it doesn’t seem to matter, because Steph’s on a roll now.

“Like, Will couldn’t take his eyes off you the entire night.” She continues. “It was super cute; he kept, like reaching for you, you kept finding him.” She taps Aubrey’s leg excitedly. “Ok, I know I said I wouldn’t, but I’m too fucking excited and I knew you’d be perfect for each other, I knew it.”

“Oh, look! There’s a tattoo place right at the next light.” Aub says loudly, even though she has no intention of getting a tattoo right now- all four of her tattoos were impulsive decisions and the three threats she’s made since she’s gotten in the car feel like far too much thought, not to mention the time crunch they’re on to get back for dinner-but it does serve as the threat she intends. Steph clearly has no desire to try and talk her out of getting one today and switches the topic to something she just saw on the Insta of one of their friends, which lasts them until they pull into the parking lot that’s serving as the meeting point.

“Aub!” For all that Cameron pretends she’s too cool for everything, just like every 14 year old Aubrey can remember, she throws herself at Aubrey the second that Aub and Steph get out of the car.

Aub squeezes her back, wondering when she got so tall. “Hey Cammie.” Cam swats at her as she pulls back. She hates that nickname, the one that Aub and her three older brothers have called her basically her entire life, but they’ve never stopped, no matter how much their youngest sibling had begged. “Where’s Kayls?”

“Here!” Kaylee huffs from next to their mom, who’s chatting with Steph, has been since she hugged her the minute she got out of the car.

Aubrey’s eyes narrow, taking in the sibling who looks most like her. “Is that my sweater?”

“No.” Kaylee says too quickly to be true. “Are we ready? We have dinner plans, right?”

“Meeting Aubrey's new boyyyyfriend.” Cam sings, and Aubrey shoves her hand in her sister's face.

“Not if you’re going to act like that, we don’t.”

“Girls.” Their mom pauses, mid-reach for Aubrey, to give her youngest two daughters a full-on mom look. “Be nice.”

Aubrey laughs at the looks on their faces, before clutching at her mom. “Hi momma. Love you.”

“Love you too.” Her mom squeezes. “Thanks for this gift.” She whispers and winks because Aub knows that her mom loves all eight of them dearly, but these two in particular are driving her nuts right now. “See you Sunday, at Luke’s.”

“Bye, I’m sure I’ll call you ten times before tomorrow!” Aubrey waves at her mom as she gets in her car, sliding back into the driver’s seat of her own, where Steph, Kaylee, and Cam are chattering to each other as they buckle their seatbelts.

It’s just as she’s pulling back onto the road that Kayls gasps. “Aub, I think I forgot to pack toothpaste.”

“Ohh, me too!” Cam realizes.

Aubrey exchanges a look with Steph quickly. It’s not looking promising that she won’t be making a call to her mom, to talk her off the ledge.

-----

“What do you mean, you didn’t bring pants?” Aubrey rubs her temples as she stares at her sister.

Kaylee shrugs. “I forgot to pack them.”

“I forgot shirts.” Cam calls from the bathroom, where she’d just showered. “Can I borrow one?”

“Did you bring anything?” Aubrey asks wearily. “Toothbrush? Underwear?”

“Of course I brought underwear.” Kaylee huffs, sounding legit offended, like she didn’t forget to pack pants on a weekend trip away.

“Well excuse me for thinking you might not have, since you didn’t bring anything else!”

Her phone buzzes on the nightstand again; it’s got to be the third or fourth time, but she’s honestly been so caught up in her sisters that she hasn’t had time to check. “Just, like, grab whatever from the closet. We’re already late.”

Sure enough, it’s Will texting, letting her know he’s downstairs. be down in a few, She responds, not bothering to go into the whole pants story. “Girls! Three minutes!” She grins at their shrieks, packing a couple things into her purse and laughing to herself as she listens to them get ready. “Kayls! Cam!”

“We’re ready!” They rush out together, Kayls dressed in a pair of her favorite jeans and Cam in one of her favorite sweaters-how they always manage to find her favorites is ridiculous-but they don’t have time for her to make them change.

“Ugh.” Aubrey just says instead, ushering them out and locking it behind her. “Come on, Will’s been waiting.”

“Will’s here?”

“Yes?” She frowns at the two of them. “Where else would he be?” But Kaylee and Cam are already giggling to each other, enough for her to roll her eyes to herself as she leads them out to Will’s car, knowing it’s definitely too much to expect them to just be cool.

“Hey.” Will greets, as she slips into the passenger seat.

“Hi.” She returns, smiling at him.

“Uh, hi?” Cam says impatiently from the backseat. Will laughs, but Aub gives her a look.

“It’s been literally two seconds. Could you, like, chill?”

“Nope!”

Aub side-eyes her again, but turns back to Will. “These are my sisters, Cam and Kaylee.” They greet him eagerly, a sentiment he returns, and then spends the entire car ride to the restaurant where they’re meeting Steph and Mitch at answering every question they ask with absurd patience.

“Oh, I smell garlic.” Kaylee says, once Will has dropped his car off with valet.

“It smells delicious.” Aub corrects, because it’s definitely heavy on the garlic, but it smells heavenly.

Will smiles over at both of them, though Aub’s not sure if he means it more for Kaylee or her. “This is one of my favorite restaurants.”

“Really?” She blurts out, before she can stop herself, and he nods, reaching for her hand.

“Great food.” He confirms. “Come on; Mitch and Steph are already here.”

That certainly serves to get her sisters moving-all her younger siblings have stopped being impressed by Mitch but they still love seeing him just as much as they love seeing Steph- and they push their way into through the doors quickly enough that Aubrey rushes to catch up to them, not trusting them alone, and tugging Will along with her.

Cam and Kaylee have already found Mitch and Steph, already chatting away with the two of them, like they didn’t just see Steph two hours ago in the car, and Aubrey and Will slip into the last two seats at the table.

“You good?” Will nudges her as they sit.

Aubrey nods. “Yeah. Pretty good.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Pretty good.”

“Well, Frick and Frack may legitimately drive me crazy this weekend but.” She shrugs. “We’ll see.”

“What happened to dropping them off with Steph if they drove you too crazy?”

She laughs. “God, if only, Will. If only.”

“Will!” Kaylee interrupts, looking up briefly from her menu. “What’s good here?”

“Will! What’s this mean?” Cam adds and Aubrey takes a deep breath, even as Will looks like it’s his absolute pleasure to walk them through the names of some of the different dishes on the menu.

“Wine, please.” Aubrey requests from the waiter, the second he arrives at the table. “Literally, anything you’ve got.”

But Will waves that off, ordering a bottle of red for the table, in perfect French. “Show off.” She grumbles at him quietly and he grins at her from over the top of Cam’s menu, before he goes back to helping her out.

From her other side, Steph’s hiding her own smile, or rather, doing a very poor job at hiding one. “What?” Aubrey presses.

“Nothing.” Steph says. “Just happy to be having dinner all together.”

“Well that’s bullshit.” Aubrey calls her out, at the very blatant lie; Mitch snorts into his hand to cover his laugh. “But always happy to be having dinner with you too.”

Steph beams, clinking her wine glass with Aubrey’s the second the waiter fills them both. “Again, tomorrow, pregame?”

Aub looks over at her sisters, who have moved away from asking Will menu questions and are, instead, asking him questions about the bun in his hair. “Assuming you aren’t bailing me out of jail instead? Sure.”

-----

Aubrey Dupont: we’re going to do apps with steph pregame but want to say thanks again for tix tonight! want to do dinner again with us after if you’re free?

Will Nylander: i’m free dinner sounds good 😁 it’ll be late though once I get out

Aubrey Dupont: that’s fine! Id say breakfast but we’ve got to leave pretty early tomorrow to get to my brothers to knock a wall down!

Will Nylander: ….holy shit cam was serious

Aubrey Dupont: 😂😂lollll yeah they’re opening up the dining room and living room! We’re all going out to take the wall down, we’re supposed to meet Steph and Mitch and then head out

Will Nylander: lol does mitch know? he booked us a tee time Sunday

Aubrey Dupont: stfu he did not😂 lol he probably just doesn’t want to get iced that early

Will Nylander: haha what??

Aubrey Dupont: hahaha the first time steph brought him home to meet our families, it was my parents Christmas Eve party, my brothers iced him like three times in the first hour. He was so trashed he couldn’t even walk back next door to Steph’s house.

It’s just like a thing we do, all our siblings and he was not prepared for it at all 😂

Will Nylander: sooo if I left one in his locker this week, how much trouble would you be in?

Aubrey Dupont: lol a lot but it’d be worth it, you should 100% do that

Mitch Marner: we’re knocking down a wall tomorrow wtf why didn’t you tell me? I’ll brave a Smirnoff to knock down a fucking wall. What time are you and Will picking us up?

Will Nylander: i fucked up, sorry

-----

“That’s really cute!” Zach Hyman’s wife smiles as she hands Kaylee her phone back.

“Thank you.” Aubrey mouths to her, as Cam and Kayls flock to the phone to check out the pictures she’s taken of them, and Alannah smiles at her knowingly. Aub’s sure she’s got sisters of her own.

“I’ll see you soon.” Alannah promises. “We should do dinner soon, the three of us, next time the boys are out of town.” And then she’s pushing her way toward Zach before Aub can respond to anything.

“Not a word.” Aubrey says warningly to her sisters, as Steph snickers, thinking of how picky the two of them are about pictures almost always.

“These are actually really cute though.” Cam says, like she even means it.

“Yeah, she did good.” Kayls adds, sliding her phone back into her purse.

“So happy they meet your standards.” Steph says dryly.

“They are the ones to meet.” Kayls flips her hair and it’s all Aubrey can do to fight back a laugh. She honest to god forgets how funny they are sometimes, when they’re driving her as crazy as they are now.

“You’re too much.” Aubrey tells her and Kaylee grins, looping her arms around Aub’s shoulders and squeezing tightly. “Okay, now you’re really too much. You’re suffocating me; get off! Look,” She nudges Kaylee away, noticing quickly that Mitch has appeared recently- without Will, but with Auston-and tries to draw her attention there instead. “Mitch is here, bother him instead.”

Kaylee peers over. “Honestly, who even cares about Mitch? I’d rather bother Will instead.”

Mitch’s jaw drops as Steph and Auston laugh, but Aubrey feels the tension immediately in her shoulders. “Jesus Christ, could you just say thank you to Will so he doesn’t think you’re a literal monster like the rest of the world does?”

“Thanks, Will!” Kaylee and Cam chorus, and she glares at them right up until she feels a presence at her side and realizes he’s actually right there.

“It was great to have you guys here this weekend.” Will smiles at them, sounding absolutely sincere, not a hint of sarcasm.

“We had so much fun.” Kayls is already gushing before Aub can even turn her death glare to her.

“What’d you guys do today?” Will asks her and again, it’s the sincerity that gets Aub, like he actually cares to listen to her sisters tell him about the brunch place that she and Steph took them to this morning, the stores they hit afterwards, a few of their favorite spots, before they had to go home and get ready for the game.

He’s sweet and attentive, asking all the questions that he should and nodding in all the right places. “You guys still want dinner?” He asks, probably as soon as he can find a time to interrupt. He’s got to be absolutely starving after that game.

“Yes.” Aubrey answers for them all; she doesn’t really care what her sisters actually have to say on the matter. If Will’s hungry, they’ll eat right now whether they want to or not.

“Can we go back to that bakery we went to earlier, first?” Cam asks, and Aubrey straight up glares at her, but before she can even say no, Cam’s already whining to her. “Oh my, god, seriously? Stop, Aubrey!”

“Ryan, like, swears you’re fun; I just don’t see it.” Kaylee adds, about their brother, the one just younger than Aub.

And like, Aubrey knows they’re just trying to get under her skin, but like, Jesus Christ. “That’s because Ryan’s an actual adult and whenever you two come up here I have to be your literal mom, because you forget to bring toothbrushes and pants and use manners!”

“Take like four deep breaths.” Will says, in that chill way he is about basically everything, and immediately Aubrey feels her glare swing over toward him. That’s basically being told to calm down and there’s literally nothing fucking worse than that, doesn’t he know that?

Probably not. He’s probably never been told to calm down in his life. Jesus, what was it again that made Steph think he was perfect for her?

Mitch, probably recognizing that Aubrey’s about to lose it, pulls Cam into his side for a one-armed hug, mentioning that he’s starving, which at least cues Kaylee into the fact that Will might be too. “Yeah, dinner does actually sound good.” Her eyes flicker over to Will first, before landing on Aubrey, and only when Aub sees the flicker of remorse in them does she actually take that breath that Will had mentioned.

“What time are we meeting in the morning?’ Steph asks, and Aub knows she’s looking to smooth over any potential blow up.

“9:22.” She deadpans, laughing at Mitch’s face.

“It’s supposed to be a nice day!” He protests. “I wouldn’t have made a tee time if you two had told me we were knocking down a wall! I had to hear it from Willy! What’s this shit?”

“Kicked out of the group chat again.” Aub shrugs, even though she knows well and truly that he hasn’t been- and won’t be again until sometime early spring, when someone does it symbolically for a day as they do every year.

“I’ll kick you out of the group chat.” Mitch says childishly, as Steph tries to collect him, Auston already ready to leave, and promising Aub that they’ll make plans later that night about the next morning.

“Will, where do you want to take us tonight for food?” Kayls asks, as they part ways in the lot.

Will looks a little startled. “Oh! Uh, what-where do you guys want to go?”

“We want to go where you like to eat.” Cam says. “We’ll eat anything.”

Will looks at her for confirmation and Aubrey nods; none of them are picky eaters. “Sushi?” He suggests and both girls nod excitedly, racing off towards Will’s car. “See?” He nudges her as they walk to catch up. “They’re fine.”

She glares up at him; he bumps her again and then again, repeatedly until she smiles. “They’re not awful.” She agrees, especially now that they’ve reminded her just how nice they can really be, at times.

Will’s grinning, matching her own smile. “I know you love them.”

“Don’t call me out like that, William.” He mimes zipping his lips and she laughs. “Ugh, you dork. Let’s go eat.”

-----

Kayls and Cam are in peak hurricane form, only barely dressed and nowhere near packed and ready to go, when Will texts to announce that he’s arrived to pick them up in the morning, so Aub just responds with her apartment number and tells him to come up.

He arrives at her door a minute or two later, with a guest in tow. “Mitchy invited him.” Will explains sheepishly, as he and Auston make themselves at home at the breakfast bar in her kitchen.

“Sorry to just, like, crash.” Auston adds.

Aubrey blinks at them. She feels like Will, of all people, should know better. “There’s legit eight of us; we adopt strays all the time.” He cracks up at that; they both do actually, and she smiles, just as Kayls shouts something about Cam stealing her leggings, from where they’re still in her room gathering her stuff.

“They’re not even yours!” Cam shouts. “Aubrey, tell her I got them first.”

“Well I was planning on wearing them!”

“Well you didn’t say that!”

“It’s just like being at home.” Auston says, smiling fondly enough that Aub laughs. “Make sure you check the straightener before you leave or they’ll fight about who forgot to turn it off in the car.” And then she straight up cackles; that’s a fight she knows well.

Auston and Will are both laughing as well, even as she hears her sisters shout for her. She ignores it, running her hands over her temples and turns towards the cabinet. “Coffee?” She asks them, and they both laugh as a muffled shout can be heard.

“Please.” Will says and Auston agrees so she pours mugs for them both, making idle chit chat, interrupted occasionally as they wait for her sisters to finally appear and be ready to leave.

They do, eventually, far later than Aubrey would have liked, and late enough that she’s grinding her teeth about it, loud enough that Will nudges her gently when she passes him to get her coat. He’s right though, it’s not like they’re in a rush to get out to her brother's house, but she’s anxious enough by that point to get moving that she doesn’t even realize what Kayls has taken from her closet to wear until they’re all climbing into Will’s backseat. “Oh my god, what are you wearing?”

“They’re literally yours!” Kayls snaps back and that’s not a lie, but it’s not what Aub’s got issue with either. It’s the absurdly clashing patterns in her leggings and oversized long-sleeve.

“I never wear them together.”

“That’s because your fashion sense is basic a-f.” Kayls pronounces each letter individually and Aub knows, she knows that Will and Auston are laughing at the look of disbelief on her face, even if she can’t see them. “You should take some tips from Will; his is on point.”

“Thanks, Kayls!” Will beams at her through the rearview mirror.

Aubrey ignores him. “Will’s homeless, that’s why he dresses like that.” She deadpans, which he protests immediately even as Auston cracks up.

“You’re not homeless.” Cam says to her, and it’s the fake innocent thing that does it for Aub. “Will could live with you.”

Aub pulls a face even as Auston just laughs even harder and Cam stares at her like she’s waiting for an actual answer. “Walked right into that one.” She mutters to herself, as Will meets her eyes in the mirror. He’s fighting back a grin; she can see the laughter in his eyes. “Will, coffee at the next Tim’s, please?” She’s going to need one to get through this.

Will’s full on grinning now, but he pulls off at the next exit in search of coffee and hands over his credit card before she can even object. The rest of the ride to her brother’s house feels like it passes in a flash, Kayls and Cam tumbling out of the car to greet Luke practically before Will’s even put it in park.

The only thing that stops Aubrey from having a complete heart attack is the immediate sense of calm she feels from no longer calling herself in charge. Luke’s here; he can deal with this shit now.

She feels Will laughing at her as they exit the car. “I thought you’d be more nervous.” He says, as they walk toward her brother, side by side, with Auston.

She snickers. “For what?” And then leans herself into Luke for a hug. “Hi!”

“Jesus, what’d you give them before you brought them here?” Luke returns the hug.

“Literally anything that would shut them up.” She says, dead serious, and then introduces Will, and Auston, almost as an afterthought.

Luke is friendly and welcoming, like she knew he would be. They’ve never had the overprotective sibling relationship she hears about from people. They’re too close in age, only a year apart in school; or too close in general, sharing too much as they grew up shuffled to their dad and stepmom’s every other weekend for their court-mandated time. She’s never doubted that he has her back, but he lets her live her life, no matter how stupid the decisions she might make (though he’s certainly not shy about telling her when he thinks she making one).

“Fitz and Steph and Mitch here yet?” She wonders, as they walk inside, the chatter between her sisters and sister-in-law already evident.

“Running late.” Luke says. “But Ryan’s upstairs sleeping. He stayed last night.”

She grins at him, contemplating running up to wake him, but in the end decides against it, settling for following the sound of her sisters’ voices into the kitchen. Rachel’s standing at the counter, setting out snacks and listening patiently as Kayls and Cam detail their entire weekend to her.

“-Will got us tickets for Saturday’s game-”

“-we ate at this amazing sushi place-”

“Rach!” Aubrey interrupts, tugging her sister-in-law away from Kayls and Cam, who are talking over each other. “Come meet Will.”

Rachel sends her a grateful look and immediately turns her bright smile at Will and Auston, introducing herself to them both and offering them drinks. By the time that she, Luke, and Aub finish getting drinks for everyone, Ryan’s coming downstairs, rubbing a hand over his face sleepily, and the introductions begin all over again.

Then Aubrey and Steph’s parents come in with her two youngest brothers, which cues another round of that, and then finally, Steph, Mitch, and Fitz roll in, which has Aubrey cackling when Auston leans over and whispers. “You didn’t tell us your brother is Little Fred?”

“What the fuck are you on?” She frowns at him, but Will’s got the same look on his face.

Will nods over at Fitz, the stepbrother who’d been in the same grade as her growing up and one of her best friends for about as long as she could remember. Said brother is currently trying to mess up Cam’s hair with one hand, while fighting one of her triplets, Tye, for the last danish. “He’s come out with us a few times, I guess with Mitch? He looks like Fred.” She gives the two of them a look. Literally the only thing her brother and their goalie have in common is red hair. Will shrugs. “Little Fred.”

“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.” She declares. “The bar is so low.”

“Must be.” Ryan nudges her side. She hadn’t even heard him come up beside her. “Dating you and all.”

She flips him off and he grins; Ryan’s actually the sibling closest in age to her, with the way all their birthdays work out, but from Luke to Ryan, all four of them are close and when Steph and her sister were added in there as well…well, the group chat gets chaotic.

“Hey!” Her mom snaps her fingers at them. “I don’t want to see any of that today.” And Aub can feel it in her face, the look she’s giving back to her mom, like certain that she’s not serious, because, honestly, has she met any of them? She peeks over at Ryan; he’s fighting back a laugh and that’s all it takes for her mom to lose it, the seriousness on her face quickly turning into a laugh.

It’s enough to get them all moving though, toward the wall they’re going to be tackling today, where they’re divided into teams by her stepdad and Steph’s dad, the only two who competently know what they’re doing.

“Ohhh!” Cam says immediately drifting towards the power saw. “Can I use this?”

Will pulls it away from her hands before she has the chance to even touch it and Aubrey’s calling out to her stepdad. “Mike! Are we stuck with these people all day?”

“Yes.” Her stepdad calls back; he’s already showing Tye and Danny how to demo their end of the wall.

Aub looks at Will and immediately mouths, “I’m sorry,” but he’s already loudly laughing at her. She kinda hates that he’s laughing at her, but she hates even more how contagious his laughter is.

-----

It’s a little past dinner time and Aubrey’s exhausted, too tired even to take her empty pizza plate to the kitchen trash can from where she’s sitting on the family room floor.

Around her, the rest of her family is in a similar state. Ryan’s actually asleep on one end of the couch, and on the other end, Auston’s half-heartedly grumbling at Derek Carr and the Raiders, while Steph’s lying across Mitch’s lap on the other side of the room. It’s about as quiet as they’ve all ever been, even Mitch and her sisters, which is how she knows they’re all exhausted.

Next to her, Will’s been quietly munching on a plate of fries since he finished his pizza a while ago. Aubrey reaches over and steals one from him. “Hey!” He protests.

“You’ve had the whole plate!” She thought she ate a lot; she honestly doesn’t know where he puts it all. “I just wanted a couple!”

“A couple?” Will repeats and Aubrey nods with a grin, reaching out and swiping another one from the plate. “Keep this up and we’re going to have to stop for second dinner on the way home.”

“I could probably eat again by then.” She rationalizes, stealing another.

Will laughs, sliding the plate over a few inches toward her, and Aubrey grins triumphantly. It’s quiet for a minute, or mostly quiet, the only sound for the next minute Auston moaning about a fumble, and Kaylee and Cam asking a question about it and then giggling to each other about it before they even get a full answer to it.

It’s Auston’s perplexed face that reminds her and she nudges Will as she goes in for another fry. “Hey.” She bumps him again, grabbing his attention. “Thanks.”

Will hums, sounding almost confused, and glances over at her. Every time Aubrey thinks it’s impossible for him to be more good looking, he proves her wrong; and always doing the most innocent things. He’s just looking at her, with this tiny little smile, but the light’s catching his eyes and they look impossibly blue and gentle, so soft like the rest of him does right now, in a way he almost never publicly is. “For what?”

“For putting up with my sisters all weekend and their increasingly ridiculous comments.”

Will laughs and he’s so close that she can feel the vibration. He’s leaning back against the wall again, but his head’s tilted a little, just barely leaning against hers, and Aub leans into it a little as he starts to talk. “My two youngest sisters play this game, every time we go to the airport, yeah? After we’ve said goodbye and everything. It’s like this competition between them, for who gets the last touch. And they’ll like chase me down as far as they can until I get to security, back and forth between the two of them…”

Aubrey’s already giggling, picturing the scene. “Same shit, different day,” She summarizes the weekend.

He flicks his finger across her nose and she giggles again. “Bingo.”

-----

It’s only when they’re back in the car and on the highway back toward Toronto after stopping for sushi for a second dinner that Auston says, sounding entirely too casual to actually be casual, “So, like, what’s really going on here with you two?”

Aub feels her stomach drop and it takes everything in her not to look at Will, who of fucking course, plays it enitrely cool. “What do you mean?”

Auston leans forward, from the middle seat in the back, which he’d generously offered to take so that she could sit up with Will even though she’d insisted he’d want the leg room up front; she’s starting to wonder if there was more to it than that. He gestures between the two of them. “It’s just, like, not how you usually are with girls.”

Will’s head whips back to look at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?” He demands.

“Will!” Aubrey hisses. “Eyes on the road.”

Auston’s cackling as Will turns his attention back to driving, but continues to eye him up through the rearview mirror. Aubrey twists in her seat; she can still stare him down. “So anyway,” He continues. “There’s that. And then, I mean, I was in the car with him when you literally texted him your apartment number. That was pretty sketch.”

Aub swings her gaze over to Will. “It came over Bluetooth.” He defends.

She pats his thigh. “Stick with hockey, kay?”

He laughs, and when she looks back at Auston, he’s laughing too, but he’s also got this thoughtful look on his face. “So anyway, what’s going on?” He presses.

“Steph and Mitch.” She says finally, after exchanging another look with Will.

“Ah.”

“That’s it?” She frowns at him. “That’s all you have to say?”

“Well, I mean, I’m sure there’s more to it, but like, I have met them before.” Auston grins when she and Will both laugh. “So what’d they do now?”

“Do you have an hour?” Will drawls.

“I have beer upstairs.” Auston offers, since they’re basically pulling up to his apartment, and since Will looks over at her for confirmation, Aub barely even takes a second before agreeing.

“Any wine?”

-----

It’s actually kind of crazy how relieving it is for someone else to know about her and Will, outside of the two of them. Aubrey hadn’t even realized how much it was weighing on her until it’s not, until the three of them had spent three hours laughing about it, recapping the entire thing and then just laughing about nothing.

She notices right away that it's equally relieving to Will, that the two of them will drift over to Auston when the team does something together, or that she’ll get a snapchat from one of them from the road that features Will and Auston off doing something ridiculous.

Steph calls her out on it one day, when the two of them are at a game one night. “I did not introduce you to Will for the two of you to spend time with Auston.”

“You ditched me last night!” Aubrey protests, but really, Steph’s not wrong. That was one time, because Mitch’s brother wanted to introduce his new girlfriend to them, and she’s been out here avoiding invites like it’s her job.

Steph continues like she didn’t hear a thing. “I introduced you to Will so that we could have great couples’ friends and hang out all the time, so why aren’t we?”

“I thought you introduced me to Will because we’d be perfect together?” Aubrey bitches and Steph gives her a look, so Aubrey promises that she and Will will do dinner with her and Mitch again soon.

Dinner soon, to Steph, apparently means that weekend, and Aubrey finds herself in Will’s car again, with a bottle of wine and a plate of dessert, driving out to Etobicoke on Friday night. “I like that I’ve claimed this seat now.”

Will laughs. “What?”

“It’s always set where I want it to be!” She grins. “Perfect leg room!”

Her phone buzzes as Will laughs again, but it only takes a quick glance at the screen to click back out of it. “You okay?” Will asks.

“Huh?”

“You just got real quiet, real quick.” He says, turning onto Steph and Mitch’s street. “Everything alright?”

Aubrey huffs out an aggravated breath, trying to decide what, if anything, she wants to say. “My other dad is being...my other dad.”

“Oh?” Will parks in their driveway and she huffs out another annoyed sigh as her phone buzzes in her pocket, knowing it’s just her half-brother again with more shit about their dad.

“He’s like…” She gathers her stuff and tries to find the words as they walk inside. “I don’t even know. Everybody’s been freaking out since some lady tagged him in a bunch of pictures on Facebook last week but my siblings are at dinner with him right now and they asked him about it and he told them he’s not seeing anyone.”

“Wait, seriously?” It’s the first thing Steph says to her; Aub’s been bitching to her about the whole thing for a week now and she’s more than familiar with her issues with her dad.

“Yes!” She cries. “My sister asked if he was seeing anyone, he said no. I guess one of the boys asked if he’d taken any trips lately, because of the pictures, and he said no. So he’s just straight up lying and I don’t know why!”

“Maybe,” Will says. “He’s not actually lying.”

Aubrey pats his arms gently. “You’re new here, so I’ll let that terrible thought pass.”

Will looks taken aback but she can barely spare a thought for that as Mitch says, “Maybe he got secret-married again and is just waiting until you’re all there to tell you-OW!” Steph elbows him hard and he grins anyway. “What? I’m just saying!”

“I already went to therapy once this week, Mitchy.” Aub mock-glares at him. “I cried for three hours and only didn’t dye my hair blue because Steph came to pick me up for the game. I don’t need to go again. Keep that shit to yourself and get me some wine.”

Mitch laughs; he’s equally familiar with her post-therapy routine and her feelings for her dad. “Alright fine.” He says, but there must still be something on her face because Will’s hand comes to rest on her shoulder right after that and he rubs it gently for a minute before he comes to sit next to her.

Conversation turns lighter after that- to Mitch’s brother’s new girlfriend, who Steph liked and Mitch thought was only okay and then to Will’s sister’s new boyfriend, who he hates-before they’re all more focused on food and a game later in the evening.

It’s easy to ignore her phone buzzing when Aubrey and Mitch are dominating Steph and Will at Codenames (or calling cheaters, because Will and Steph most definitely are), but much harder to ignore in the car when she and Will are alone again, and Aub barely even notices when Will doesn’t make the turn for her place, instead just driving straight to his place.

“Oh.” She says quietly when he finally parks and they’re in the garage, instead of just pulling up out front of her building, like he has been recently.

“Didn’t want you to dye your hair blue tonight.” Will deadpans and Aubrey laughs, surprised that it’s kind of watery.

“Fair, it was definitely a risk.”

Will smiles at her gently. “I’ve been told my guest room is supremely comfortable.”

Aubrey raises her eyebrows; she can siphon out the source of that one. “I hear your brother has pretty shitty taste.” She says and he laughs, that loud one he’s got that she can’t help but smile at because it sounds so ridiculous, but Aubrey’s already getting out of the car, ready to follow him up before he can see.

Will’s condo is pretty much everything she expected- a lot of modern pieces, a lot of white, very Scandanavian- but there’s plenty of Will in it as well. A lot of family pictures. Some hockey stuff-both Leafs and Team Sweden-but not an overwhelming amount.

She’s still looking at some of the pictures (he looks so much like his mom) when he returns with a couple glasses of wine, and she accepts hers with a gracious smile. “Thank you.”

“We’ve been at this long enough for me to know that wine’s your thing.” He jokes and she laughs.

“I meant for bringing me here.” She shoves at his shoulder; annoyingly enough he doesn’t even move. “I definitely would have done something stupid.”

“What are friends for?” Will smiles and there’s that annoyed feeling again, maybe even more so than just a minute ago, tugging at her stomach, for really no reason. They are friends now, in pretty much every sense of the word. They hang out, they text, they do all kinds of things. It’ll actually probably be hard for her, to not be friends with him, or at least pretend to be, when they have to “break up” for a bit to annoy Steph and Mitch.

“Yeah.” Aubrey says and it just sounds off so she takes a sip of her wine right away so he can’t see whatever her face is doing. “If you were really my friend, you’d let me borrow some sweats to sleep in. You know. Since you kidnapped me to bring me here.”

“Ohh, I don’t know if we’re that close.” Will says, but he’s laughing as he walks toward his room so she knows he’s kidding.

It’s a pretty quiet night between the two of them once they make themselves comfortable, just chilling on the couch and watching Netflix, and Will’s not stingy with his pours so Aubrey pours herself into his guest room a little tipsy, and maybe that’s why she texts him from bed. You were right, your guest bed is pretty comfortable.

*Supremely* comfortable. Told you so 😜

-----

Aub’s still in Will’s absurdly comfortable guest bed when her daily FaceTime call with her sisters comes in and she answers it without thinking. “Hey.”

“Where are you?” Kaylee asks immediately. “That’s not your room-oh my god, are you at Will’s?” She blurts and Aubrey wants to smack herself.

“That’s Leafs stuff!” Cam exclaims, popping her head into the frame. “You never wear Leafs stuff! Oh my god, do you live there now?”

“Back up, calm the crazy.” She’s cutting off this spiral before they’ve got the story of her and Will eloping spread to her entire family.

Kayls pouts. “You never let us have any fun.”

“I do not want a call from Grandma this afternoon asking me why I got married to the blond hippie from the Leafs because you two can’t keep your mouths shut and she saw one bad picture.”

Cam’s jaw drops in outrage. “That’s so rude, we would at least send a good picture out! Like she’d know how hot he really is; there’d be no need to google and accidentally come across a picture of him in a Sugo hat.”

That’s it. She’s up for good now. Aubrey throws the blankets off herself and sits up off the edge of the bed, rubbing her temples in hopes it’ll make her tiny hangover headache go away. Limited success. “You googled him?”

“Of course we googled him!” Kayls says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Aub, oh my god, he’s got-”

“I’m leaving this room right now.” Aubrey warns; she’s already at the door. “Stop talking about him like he’s not here.”

Cam immediately launches into a story about a couple of the girls on her field hockey team and something that had happened at practice after school yesterday, a story that she’s still detailing when Aubrey walks into the kitchen to find Will also looking into his phone with a fond look on his face as a loud jumble of voices shout back to him in what she can only assume is Swedish.

“Coffee’s back there.” He points, greeting her with a smile. “And mugs above it.”

“Thank you.” She’s pretty sure, from the expression on his face, that he knows how much of a lifeline that’s about to be for her.

“Hi Will!” Kayls calls and Aub glares at her, but Will calls back a greeting in return before returning to Swedish, but definitely in an argumentative tone.

It’s a couple more minutes of that-listening to Will speaking in Swedish and going through her usual morning nonsense with her sisters-before Will lets out the smallest groan and then looks at her. “My sisters want to say hi.”

“Oh.” Aubrey says, surprised more than anything.

And before she can really say anything, Cam adds. “Yes! Then we can talk with Will!” Which is how she finds herself sitting next to Will with his dog curled in her lap, both their phones in front of them, speaking with her sisters and two of Will’s sisters.

It’s pretty much maximal chaos, but when they both end their calls a few minutes later, Aubrey’s still smiling as she runs her hand through the dog’s fur and Will’s laughing to himself. “Mmm, good luck to you.” Aub nudges him, easy enough to do since she’s still sitting flush up next to him. “When they’re in town next month. They’ve probably all followed each other on Instagram by now already. Best friends in no time.”

“Gonna be busy with games.” Will says weakly. “Practices, media things. Think it’s gonna be your problem.”

“Like hell.” She laughs, shaking her head when he joins in and doesn’t stop. “Oh my god, that was not that funny!”

“Just thinking of all the ways they’re going to torture us when they’re all together after they’ve spent the last month talking shit about us in a group chat.” Will says, somehow still laughing about that, because he’s literally the most chill person on the planet. Like of course he’s not even bothered by that.

“I don’t have enough food in me to deal with that thought.” Aubrey declares, laughing decidedly less at the thought of actually meeting Will’s family. In person. Where they’ll have to actually see her and see what a farce this is. “Feed me.”

Will shrugs. “Let me change and we’ll grab brunch.”

Aub looks down at the very large sweats she’s borrowed to sleep in. “We’ll stop first, yeah?”

“Depends on how hangry you are.” Will calls back, already walking away.

She pulls a face at his back at that one. She’s actually pretty hungry, but like, she’s not dumb enough to go out to brunch with him in a walk of shame. Not when there’s already a group chat forming about her on Instagram. She doesn’t need Leafs Twitter coming for her too.

-----

It’s easy to settle in a routine from there; meeting Mitch and Steph for dinner a few times, joining Steph for games and then leaving with Will for a second dinner after, and easily splitting off to spend time with her own family and friends or catching up with them when Will is off on road trips.

It’s so easy to settle into a routine like that, a relationship routine, that she lets herself get lulled into a false sense of security, the message from her dad catching her off guard completely one day.

“What’s wrong?” Will asks, when they’re at dinner after a game. It’s their thing now; pick a restaurant and grab some food right afterwards before he drops her off at home. It’s a nice way to wind down actually; she usually looks forward to it.

Tonight though, Aub has been uncharacteristically quiet since they met up and she was a downright bitch earlier when she and Steph were fighting about something. Like, she knows they’ll forget all about it tomorrow, but still. She owes her best friend coffee at the least. “Hmm?” She looks up at him, barely hearing his question.

“What’s wrong?” He repeats, giving her a look before she can fight him against answering.

She pushes her food around a little-very uncharacteristic for her, and she can tell even Will’s picked up on that. “My dad wants to meet us all for dinner this week, which means he probably did get secret-married again.”

“Oh.” Will makes a face and Aubrey returns it, laughing when he contorts his even worse. “And that’s-I mean-again?” He finally settles on and she nods, ready to drop this bomb.

“It’ll be wife number six, but secret wedding number three.” She says, delighting in the way his jaw drops. “This is just, like, what he does; he just announces he wants to have dinner with us and then shows up and is like and here’s my new wife, like it’s super casual, and then we all wonder why I need therapy when he’s out here hiding wives and families like it’s a fulltime job.” She finishes, only realizing how heated she is about it when she looks up to find Will staring at her with wide eyes.

“Um.” Will starts.

“Sorry.” Aub hastens, flushing.

“No!” Will says. “No, don’t apologize at all, you can, like, share whatever you want. I just...I got like half of what you just said.” He gives her an apologetic look. “Missing a big chunk of this story.”

“Right.” Aub nods, pretty proud of how calm she sounds. Dr. Seth is going to be so impressed with her next week. “Sorry. We haven’t talked about the two secret families he was hiding when I was growing up. Ok, I’ll back up.”

“He what?” Will cries, but Aub waves him off, diving into the whole history of her dad, her half-siblings, and her step-moms...as well as their various divorces.

“...and that brings us to now.” She takes a sip of her wine thoughtfully; Will has long since drained his and refilled. She’s pretty sure she didn’t miss anything. “And dinner that’s going to be an absolute disaster.”

“Do you want me to come?” Will offers.

“No!” She says immediately. That’s like-god, that’s the worst idea ever. They do not need to get her greedy father involved in this, who’d take one look at Will and see dollar bills. She’s accepted that she can’t change the way her dad treats her (after many years of therapy); she’s got another dad who loves her and it’s not fine the way her dad doesn’t remember her birthday or what she does for work or pretty much anything important about her, but it is what it is. But like, she’s not going to subject Will to it. “It’ll be-fine.”

He raises an eyebrow. “You think so?”

“No.” She shakes her head. “But thanks anyway.”

Will purses his lips. It’s clear that he doesn’t love that answer, but he doesn’t say anything more on the subject, asking her instead if she wants to split a dessert, as if he doesn’t already know the answer to that question, and Aub, grateful for the change in topic, even agrees to let him pick this time.

It’s a rare gift.

-----

Aubrey knows she had a little too much to drink at dinner with her dad, but she’s not so drunk that she can’t recognize that this is Will’s door she’s standing in front of, knocking loudly and repeatedly.

She has only a moment to contemplate that-that it’s here she chose to come to after yet another disaster dinner, instead of Steph’s or her brother’s or back home to her own place-before Will’s opening the door, the confusion passing quickly over his face when he realizes it’s her.

“Hey.” He beams and steps back, silently inviting her in, but Aub doesn’t want him to go further away from her. That’s why she came here. “Whoa, hey!” Will says, as Aub steps in the condo and presses herself against him. “Are you-” He lets out a strangled choke as she tiptoes up and loops her arms around the back of his neck. “-okay?”

“Peachy.” She says, pulling him down to kiss her.

It’s not really a great kiss; Will’s kissing her back for a moment, and then pulling back. “Wait-”

“No.” She whines, leaning in for another, and he does it again, caught up for a moment in kissing her, but then it’s like his thoughts catch up to him and he breaks it.

“Aub, we shouldn’t- we aren’t-”

And like why shouldn’t they? They’ve been doing this fake relationship for a while now and not able to hook up with anyone else because of it. He’s objectively the hottest person she’s ever seen. There’s no reason that’s coming to her right now that says she shouldn’t. “We’re friends now!” Aubrey says, running her palms over his shoulders. God, why weren’t they doing this the entire time? “Right?” And Will nods, slowly, but it’s a nod, “It’s fine, friends hook up all the time.”

“You really want this?” His thumb brushes her cheek as she nods and only then does he pull her back in for a kiss.

-----

If Aubrey thought Will’s guest bed was comfortable, it’s really got nothing on his actual bed. She rolls over, curling into the pillow a little more and opens her eyes to see the sliver of sunlight coming through catch the edge of Will’s face, that one piece of hair that’s sticking up that should be unattractive, but is totally not.

It’s really just unfair.

The sound comes from behind her and Aub jumps when she realizes it’s Will’s alarm going off. It seems like it barely even fazes him; he just reaches across her and silences it; his arm falling across her when he drags himself back.

“Hi.” She smiles.

“Hi.” Will laughs and it lights up his whole face; she can’t help the hand that comes up to trace over his features. “Come on, that’s not fair.

“What’s not fair?” Aubrey asks innocently, trailing her nails down his chest.

He groans. “I have to go. Skate.”

“You don’t have to go.” She pouts and he groans again.

“You’re making it really hard to have to.”

“Good.” Aubrey giggles, only stopping when Will shuts her up with a kiss.

“Really hard.” He repeats as she rolls her hips into his.

“Fine.” She sighs, flopping onto her back, and she knows the move does exactly as she’d intended when his eyes go right to her chest. “I guess I’ll just have to stay here in bed until you get back.”

“Please do.” He insists, leaning over to kiss her again. “Fastest skate ever.” Will promises.

“You can’t control that.” Aubrey reasons, even as Will’s shaking his head at her while he climbs out of bed.

“Fastest skate ever.” He repeats.

She can’t really confirm or deny that it is; but when he does return, pulling her out of a doze by jumping on top of her, there’s coffee on the table for her too. It’s cold by the time she gets to it.

-----

“You guys are being weird.” Steph comments one night, as Aub’s cheering after Will scores a tie-breaking goal.

“What?” Aubrey gives her a look. “What do you mean?”

“You and Will.” Steph says, like it should be obvious. “You’re like-” She breaks off, making a noise of frustration.

“You’re in the honeymoon phase.” Alannah supplies helpfully and Steph lights up.

“Yes!” She cries and Aubrey glares over at Alannah but she merely smiles back. “But it’s like, you’re back in it? Like, you weren’t for a while and now...you can’t take your hands off each other again!”

Aubrey doesn’t really know what to say to that. She’s not denying that she and Will have been all over each other ever since that first night they slept together. She can’t even remember the last time she went to her apartment for anything more than to pack clothes and she’s lost track of the number of times she’s reached out for him only to find Will already reaching for her.

But before? She can’t think of any moment where they were ever like they are now. Like there’s too much space between them even when she’s right next to him. Or this pull that brings her toward him no matter where he’s at.

But she doesn’t...she doesn’t know what to say about that. Because it’s not like anything has changed between them. They’re still friends; they still laugh and joke as usual, still gossip about their friends together, are still just waiting to drop a big break up on Mitch and Steph.

Nothing’s changed, even if maybe, she thinks, something has.

So she shrugs at Steph and says, “We’re just happy. Is that so bad?”

Steph beams and leans her head against Aubrey’s shoulder, and like, Aub knows that’s exactly what she’d been hoping for since she introduced her to Will, but Aubrey still feels like something wasn’t right about what she said.

-----

Aubrey tugs on the Nylander jersey that drapes over her frame as she and Will walk into the hospital conference room. “Are you sure about this?”

“It’s tradition.” He grins. “Stop playing with it.”

“That’s what she said.” She says as dryly as she can, managing to keep the face until he laughs, and then she cracks up with him.

That’s how the two of them walk into the conference room where the team is meeting; laughing so loudly that everyone stops what they’re doing to turn and look, but she and Will only get a bunch of fond smiles before everyone turns back to their own conversations.

Steph gives her a knowing look when they approach hand in hand, which Aubrey ignores pointedly. “You didn’t warn me we’d have to actually go things wearing this dumb jersey when you plotted to get us together.”

“Oh I didn’t?” Steph says innocently as Mitch and Will sputter in protest. “Must have slipped my mind.”

“Dumb jersey?” Will nudges her.

Aub shrugs, looking up at him with a cheeky grin. “It’s a little big. Might have some trouble getting out of this thing.”

Will grins. “I’m sure some help can be arranged.”

Mitch feigns gagging. “There are children around.”

Wills hand drags up her side briefly-too briefly- as he grins at Mitch. “Where, Mitchell?” But he backs off and Aub does too, both of them catching up with teammates and wives and girlfriends around them.

Or they back off a little, but Aub still finds herself drawn int0 his orbit, especially once they start splitting off into groups to move through the hospital to go see the kids. His hand will brush against hers as they move between rooms; she’s bumping her shoulder against his arm comfortingly as they talk with parents.

It’s not very subtle, but they don’t need to be. Except…

“What is going on?” Auston hisses at her, in passing, as he’s about to step inside the room Will’s just about leaving.

“Nothing.” Aub says innocently, but Will reaches for her hand when he leaves, opting for a fist bump with Auston instead, and Auston’s eyes widen, but Aubrey tugs Will along before he can say anything. “Come on, let’s grab some water real quick!”

The diversion doesn’t last long; Auston catches up to her only two rooms later while Will’s in talking hockey with a little girl and she’s waiting outside, leaning against the wall. He joins her, looking in as well for a moment, before looking over at her. “This is a terrible idea.” Auston says flatly.

“You were on board with it!” Aubrey hisses, trying to keep a smile on her face.

“That was before I realized you guys were sleeping together. Now it’s going to backfire and go to shit.”

Aubrey frowns. “Why?”

“Why?” Auston repeats, like he can’t even help himself. “Oh my god, you don’t even-” He stops abruptly.

“Don’t even what?” She prompts, when it’s clear he’s not going to continue.

But he doesn’t continue. He just rubs his temples for a minute and mutters under his breath. “Fuck me, how do I have to be the smart one here?”

“Hey!” Aubrey protests, offended. “I am always the smart one.”

“Not right now.” He says cryptically. “And it’s hard to tell who’s being dumber: you or Willy.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Aubrey frowns, but Auston’s already walking away. “Auston!” He ignores her. “Auston!”

“Hey.” Will’s reaching for her arm gently. “What’s wrong?”

Auston’s out of sight now anyway. “Nothing.” She shakes her head, clearing her thoughts and then looks up at him. “Next room?”

-----

“What are you doing Friday?” Aubrey looks up from scrolling through her family’s group chat; Will’s peering at her from across the island.

“Nothing.” She says, after thinking about it for a minute. “What’s up?”

“We play my brother on Saturday.” He says and the shoe doesn’t drop until he adds, “So my parents and sisters are coming in for a bit. Watch the game. Do early Christmas. Hang out a bit.”

“Oh.” She bites her lip. It shouldn’t-it shouldn't be weird. He survived a whole weekend with her sisters, he’s met her entire family; they’ve gone out a few times with varying numbers of her brothers since then. It just...feels weird now.

Will eyes her carefully for a second but continues. “They come in early Friday morning and I made dinner reservations for that night, if you want to come with us.”

He says it super casually, the way he is about pretty much everything, but she knows him well enough now. There’s a little hopeful tone at the end of it, almost like a question even though it’s not phrased as one. “Yeah.” She says, and even though she’s already nervous about this dinner that’s literally days away, it’s worth it to see the smile grow across his face. “I’d love to come with you guys.”

“They’ll be excited.” Will says, which really undersells just how excited his sisters actually are when they do roll into town later in the week.

Daniella throws herself at Aubrey the second she walks in the door, chattering excitedly about meeting her, and spending the weekend together, and dinner that night, all before Aubrey can even put her purse down. She doesn’t know what her face is doing but whatever it is is bad enough that Will says something to his sister in Swedish and follows it up with a glare when she giggles something back to him.

It works though; Daniella detaches herself, but she does stay close, almost bouncing along next to Aubrey as she steps further inside. “Come on.” Will nods toward the kitchen. “My parents are in here.”

Fuck, his parents. She takes a deep breath. “Cool.”

He grins. The panic must definitely be showing on her face, but his sister just keeps talking through it- Aubrey can relate- or Daniella just doesn’t notice it in her excitement. But Will does, still grinning at her, and she brushes against him purposefully with her shoulder as she goes to follow Daniella, only for him to grab her hand as she passes.

“You don’t have to be nervous.” He squeezes her hand and the only thing that stops her from frowning is his sister. It’s kind of a harsh reminder of the circumstances that she is meeting his family under, the details behind what’s happening here, and that someday-probably soon even- they’ll go back to...well, she hopes that they’ll at least still be friends.

Even if they stop hooking up.

Danielle goes right up to Stephanie in the kitchen, the two of them whispering to each other in a way that immediately reminds Aub of Kaylee and Cam, enough that she has to fight back a laugh. But it’s Will’s parents that really draw her attention. Michael and Camilla are exactly how she’d pictured from every story Will’s ever told her, full attention on her as soon as she and Will enter the kitchen.

“This is Aubrey.” Will introduces.

“Hi!” She smiles, hoping it’s bright and warm enough to hide her nerves.

And it works- or more likely, Will’s parents are as perceptive as he is- because they jump right into chatting easily with her.

She loves them immediately.

They’re warm and friendly, like they’re welcoming her, even though they’re the ones who spent hours on a plane recently. Will’s mom- Camilla, she insists- draws her into a conversation about her family right away- “William told me you have many siblings as well.” “Mum!” “Mum, they’re the best!”- which keeps them going for a while until Michael reminds them they have a reservation to keep.

“You can keep talking at the restaurant.” He teases Camilla, who’s glaring at him. “Some of us are hungry!”

She rolls her eyes at him- a look that is so similar to one Aubrey’s seen Will make a thousand times- but it serves to get all of them moving. They do keep talking at the restaurant, Camilla shoving her own son out of the way to pull Aubrey in the seat next to her, and Daniella sliding in the seat on her other side before Will can grab it, only for him to mutter something to her in Swedish, sending her quickly sliding over to the next one.

Dinner seems to fly by but it’s actually a few hours later that they’re returning home, pulling out a bottle of wine for a night cap. Aubrey’s just about preparing to go home to her own place before Will’s mom stands up and kisses the top of her head, right in line with all her own kids, promising to see her in the morning, and then the night wraps up and Will’s pulling her into his room, like it’s any normal night.

“Are you-” She trails off abruptly as Will walks right to the closet, like no strange thing. But, what did she even want to ask? Are you sure you want me to stay? It’s not going to be weird if I do?

“What’s up?” Will pops his head out of the closet.

“Nothing.” Aubrey shakes her head, moving to brush her teeth. She’s not even sure she knows where that question was going; she can’t explain why tonight feels weirder than any other night that she’s climbed into his bed before.

It does though, and that’s made even more evident by the way she tosses and turns once they climb into bed and turn the lights off, settling in on what’s become her side of the bed, right after she brushes her teeth and runs through her nightly skin routine.

It feels like it shouldn’t be so hard to sleep- it’s been a long day, following a long week, preparing for Will’s family to arrive, but she can’t seem to get comfortable and her thoughts are racing.

She rolls over again, facing Will this time, only to find him looking at her with amusement. “You okay?”

“Can’t sleep.” She admit, biting her lip

Will grins, pulling her close. “I can fix that.”

“I’m not having sex with you while you’re parents are here!” Aubrey hisses.

“No?” Her breath hitches as his fingers dance lower down her stomach and then-

“Will!” She laughs, as he gently pinches a ticklish spot.

“Shh!” He’s grinning, she hates him so much. “My parents are-”

“Don’t say it.” She says, surging up to kiss him so he can’t finish that sentence. God, she hopes his walls are thick.

-----

“Stop.” Aubrey hears Will right outside the door. “Go away.”

She can hear one of his sister’s respond, but the actual words get lost in the chaos of her own sisters’ FaceTime, which she’s wrapping up as she lies in bed. It’s loud enough outside that she knows Will’s family is awake already, bright enough that she probably should get up, but she’s too comfortable to make herself move.

“Daniella!” She hears, followed by something in Swedish just as the door opens and a blonde head pokes in.

“See! She is awake!” And that’s all the warning she gets before Daniella is jumping up right next to her.

“Daniella!” Will snaps again, but Aubrey’s already sliding over to make room for her.

“She’s fine.” She assures him, wrapping her arm around Daniella’s shoulders as she cuddles in close.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Daniella says to her brother, not bothering to pull herself away from Aubrey’s iPhone screen, where she’d barely wasted a minute before jumping into chatting with Kayls and Cam.

Will’s leaning against the dresser and shaking his head in amusement, watching as Aubrey manages to finish up her call (a task much harder with Daniella in her ear, calling just as much nonsense back as her sisters do), but there’s a soft smile on his face that Aubrey almost can’t bring herself to look at, so she starts twirling her hand through the ends of Daniella’s hair.

“I can’t believe you two.” Daniella huffs, and she’s so much like Will, just loving her hair played with; Aubrey tries to hide her grin because she knows he’d fight her on it if she had to say it out loud right now. “Not even inviting your sisters here for the weekend.”

“Why would we invite ourselves into that kind of roast?” Will says dryly. “The two of you are bad enough.”

“Like you’re not going to talk about us anyway,” Aubrey adds. “I’ve seen the receipts.” She teases. “I know you talk about us on instagram.”

“You talk about us on instagram?” Will demands immediately.

“No.” Daniella says, unconvincingly.

“They talk with my sisters every day.” Aubrey whispers to him and laughs when he turns his outraged face toward his sister, who avoids his gaze completely.

“Seriously?” Will cries.

Daniella shrugs. “We have a lot to say.”

“I’ll give you a lot to say.” Will says, mock-threateningly, before throwing himself on the bed on her other side and poking his finger in her side until she’s laughing so hard that she’s begging for him to stop. He does, after one last poke, which Daniella returns with a pout. “Go get dressed.” Will nudges her. “Or Aubrey’s going to go to brunch without you.”

“Aubrey wouldn’t do that.” Daniella says confidently, standing to leave. “She’s nicer than you.”

Will barks out a laugh. “Is she?”

Both Nylanders turn to look at her, just as she’s swinging her legs out of bed and Aubrey shrugs. “I wouldn’t leave your sister behind.” She says, grinning when Will laughs and Daniella’s got her phone out of her pocket before she even leaves the room.

-----

Will and Alex are close. Aubrey knows this. She knows they talk pretty much everyday whether it’s texting, Facetiming, or even actual phone calls. They’re brothers, sure, but more than that; they’re best friends.

And maybe that’s why it’s hard not to shrink under Alex’s gaze the second they meet. It’s not that he’s not friendly when Will introduces them, returning the smile she gives him.

It’s just that his gaze feels piercing in a way that none of the rest of his family did. It feels like Alex sees through all of her but more than that; he’s studying all of her and doesn’t like what he sees.

God, she doesn’t know what she’s going to do if Alex doesn’t like her.

She tries to be bubbly and bright, more listening than contributing to this conversation that’s mostly just brothers catching up. She knows that dinner later, and at their early Christmas celebration tomorrow, will really be when she gets to make her big impression on him.

“Willy!” John Tavares calls, looking apologetic about the interruption.

“Be right back.” Willy pats her arm gently before jogging down the hall and now Alex’s full attention is on her. Now she can’t help but shift her weight from foot to foot, even as Alex smiles at her. “So, Aubrey, huh?”

She fights back the urge to bite her lip. “Yup.”

“It’s exciting to finally meet you.” He grins and Aubrey’s jaw drops a little. “Will talks about you all the time.”

“He-he does?” She asks quietly. It’s about the most unexpected thing Alex could have said to her.

Alex bursts into laughter. “Uh yeah.” He says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, but before she can press anything further, Will’s back, slinging his arm around her shoulders and squeezing her into his side tightly.

“Ready for second dinner?” Will presses a kiss to her temple.

“Always.” Aubrey leans into him, ignoring the knowing look that Alex is sporting currently and the feeling in her stomach that doesn’t quite feel like butterflies.

-----

Aubrey tries to give it a few days after the Nylander’s leave town, hoping the feeling in her stomach will calm itself, but when it’s been a week and it hasn’t settled, she’s forced to admit that she’s going to need outside help.

Can you let me in? She sends, when she’s sure she’s outside the right door.

Open. Come in.

She frowns at the response, opening the door. “I don’t love that!” She calls as she walks deeper in the condo. “You should really-” She stops abruptly, as a blonde whips her head around to glare at her and Auston stares at her wide-eyed. “Oh!”

“Oh?” The blonde repeats, kind of mockingly, but also seething, and Aubrey doesn’t really know what to do, so she looks over at Auston, who’s pointedly avoiding both of their eyes. “Unbelievable.” She shakes her head, shoving past Aubrey and only when the front door slams does she hear Auston breathe.

“What the fuck?” She asks him immediately, “You could have just said no, it wasn’t a good time to come over!”

“I wanted her to leave!” He protests. “I tried everything! She even volunteered to come take Felix on a walk with me!”

Aubrey cackles, barely managing to compose herself at Auston’s glare. “Well, go and get his leash. We can walk and talk.”

She gets quickly distracted by Felix’s excitement for a walk, snapping like twenty pictures on her phone, before Auston finally prods her about the reason she even wanted to meet today. “So what’s up?”

She takes a deep breath. “Am I in love with Will?”

“Are you in love with...are you fucking kidding me?” Auston responds immediately, looking at her like he had that day they were at Sick Kids- like she’s completely missing something that everyone else knows.

“I’m gonna take that as a yes.” She says reasonably.

“Oh my fucking god.” He says, sounding distressed. “Don’t you have, like, a therapist for this shit? How did I get drafted for this?”

“I mean, yes, I do, but I haven’t gone into the details of it with Dr. Seth before this and I don’t think an hour would cover it.” She says; she’s thought about that already. Auston rubs his temples. “Stop that.” Aubrey chides. “Your hairline is bad enough.”

“Well you’re not helping!” Auston cries. “Jesus Christ, am I in love with Willy? Where the fuck have you been?”

“Egypt, I guess.” She says and he stares at her flatly until she explains. “Denial?”

“Fuck off, I hate you so much. Oh my god.” He groans. “Willy would have laughed so hard at that, fuck you.”

The worst thing is that she knows he would have. He’d have laughed and laughed and laughed, his eyes crinkling and his smile bright and warm, so loud that she couldn’t help but join in.

“Holy shit.” Auston says quietly, watching the smile on her face. “You’re really in deep.”

“Ugh, yes.” Aubrey groans, covering her face. “I hate it. I hate these feelings. I hate not knowing. I hate-”

Auston cuts her off, choking out a laugh. “Not knowing? Not knowing what?” And then he chokes again, once he looks over at her. “Not knowing if Will-” He stops abruptly looking like he’s got a secret that he shouldn’t be telling. “Come on, you aren’t this dumb.”

“You’re being serious?” She says quietly, looking over at Auston hopefully.

He avoids her eyes, bending down for a minute to pet his dog, but Felix absolutely betrays him by trying to run towards a new smell on a nearby bush, giving him absolutely nothing to look at instead of her. “I mean, come on.” Auston gives her a look. “Don’t make me say it.”

“Did he say it?”

“No.” Auston shakes his head, tugging gently on Felix’s leash to turn around. “But Aub, really? He brought you to meet his whole family.”

“He met mine too.” She reminds him. “And so did you!”

Auston shakes his head. “You...you just don’t see how he looks at you.”

Aubrey bites her lip, but she can’t resist asking. “How does he look at me?”

Auston doesn’t even have to think before he responds. “Like the rest of us aren’t even in the room.”

“Oh.” She says quietly, looking down at the ground. Felix is just trotting away happily, like Aubrey’s entire world hasn’t been flipped on its axis.

Auston, at least, seems to recognize the effect of what he’s said. “Look, even if you’re not ready to talk with him, just, like, look at the guy. You’re not in this alone.”

She’s definitely not ready to say anything, but, well, she could give that a try. Just try and see what Auston sees.What everyone sees apparently. “Alright.” She agrees.

“I won’t say anything.” Auston adds. “You two can figure this mess out on your own.”

“You’re the best.” Aubrey declares, leaning up to kiss his cheek.

“I know.” Auston smirks, pulling Felix’s leash out from under her feet.

“Jerk.” Aubrey laughs, shoving his shoulder gently. “If you didn’t have the second best dog in the world right here, I’d push you harder.” She crouches down to scratch Felix’s ears, only for Auston to pull him out of her reach.

“Second best?” He cries, outraged. “Nuh-uh. You don’t get to pet my dog after that kind of disrespect.”

“I just ranked your dog above Zeus!” She protests. “But Pablo’s my boy.”

Auston releases his hold on the leash a little and Felix trots over toward her arms as he teases, “I thought we just agreed Willy was your boy.”

“Yeah, well,” Aubrey scratches behind Felix’s ears, smiling as his tongue lolls out. “Man’s best friend.”

-----

Will’s acting funny when Aubrey sees him the next day.

She only catches him for a few minutes before the game, when they briefly cross paths at his place when she goes to pick up a jacket she left there, and she doesn’t know how to explain it, but something just seems...off.

It’s like...he barely looks at her when she’s in there digging around what’s become her side of the bed and then he brushes past her, muttering something about how he needs to go and for her to just lock up whenever she’s done, which would be fine, except he usually waits for her if she’s around when he leaves so they can walk out together.

Something’s just off.

“Are you sure you didn’t fight about anything?” Steph frowns at her, later that night. “Even like a small, stupid thing that maybe you brushed off? Because you do that.”

“No!” Aubrey swears. “At first I thought he was just annoyed about the book, because the book I’m reading right now takes place in Sweden, so like every few pages I ask him if it’s real? Or what it’s like?”

“God, you must be the most annoying girlfriend.” Steph giggles.

“Don’t even, I know everything about you and Mitch.” Aubrey pokes her and Steph giggles again, admitting defeat. “But no! He wouldn’t even look at me! Something’s up!”

Steph purses her lips. “That is weird.” She admits. “It’s very...not Will.”

“No!” Aubrey cries. “Will doesn’t sit and let things stew! He doesn’t care enough about what people think about him for that.”

“So why is he acting like this then?” Steph asks and Aubrey blows out a frustrated breath.

“I don’t know!” She says. “And I just want him to tell me what’s going on.”

The rest of the game is fairly uneventful for the two of them, slipping quietly out of their seats after the win and chatting between themselves and a few other friends as they all wait. One by one, the boys all make their way out of the locker room, and Aubrey frowns as even Auston and John walk out, stopping briefly to chat with her, before even they go, until finally, finally, Will steps out, his face flickering when he sees her.

“Hi?” She says, a little annoyed.

“Hi.” Will says, like nothing’s just happened, like he didn’t just do a double take of the worst kind at her mere presence.

“What’s wrong?” She frowns, reaching out for him and gently sliding her hand on his forearm.

“Nothing.” There’s no other word for it; Will flinches.

“Will.” Aubrey breathes as he shrugs off her arm.

“It’s nothing.” He repeats. “I’m just tired.” Which is so clearly a lie and she frowns, ready to call him out, but he reaches for her hand and says, “Let’s go eat,” with such finality that she doesn’t really know how she’d bring it up.

All she knows is that his hand feels cold in a way it never has before and the silence they sit in at dinner is like nothing she’s ever felt with him, even before they started sleeping together.

-----

“Merry Christmas!” Cam throws open the front door dramatically before Aubrey, Will, Steph, and Mitch have barely even shut their car doors. “Come on, you’re late!”

“Oh boy.” Aubrey mutters and she hears Steph and Mitch laugh.

Will, however, is as quiet as he’s been all drive up to her parents for their annual Christmas Eve party- as quiet as he’s been all week, as he’s been since whatever happened- and it makes her wonder why he even came. She’d told him he didn’t have to come if he didn’t want to; he’d just given her this tiny smile and asked her what time they had to pick up Mitch and Steph.

“How are we late?” Steph asks, as all four of them start yanking off coats and scarves the second they walk in the door. “None of the neighbors are even here yet!”

Cam huffs at that bit of logic and turns on her heel, walking away from them as they laugh, which cues Aubrey’s brothers into their arrival. Tye and Danny poke their heads around the corner of the wall, calling for Mitch immediately to show them how to do something on a new video game, but right away they’re thwarted by their mom. “Later.” Mitch whispers to them, as Tye and Danny grin, following the four of them into the kitchen.

In the kitchen, they find Aubrey and Steph’s moms working in tandem- the way they always have on Christmas Eve- to finish the appetizers and set food out. They stop only briefly to greet their daughters and their daughters’ boyfriends, and to direct them on where to put the desserts they brought, before they’re shooing them all right back out.

“Dads in the basement?” Steph asks, like they all don’t know the answer already, and Danny nods, leading the way down the stairs, where Fitz and Ryan have already started a beer pong game against Mike and Tom.

“Shotty next.” Mitch calls, while he waits for Aubrey and Steph to say hi to their dads.

“You gonna be able to walk back next door?” Fitz snorts out a laugh.

“That was one time!” Mitch protests. “Nobody warned me how much drinking there was on Christmas Eve!”

“It’s like we hadn’t spent the last four months together before that.” Aubrey deadpans, focusing more on watching Will greet her stepdad with the same enthusiasm as he had her mom, and her brothers, and Cam.

But then, he comes back to her side, and when she goes to tangle their fingers together, his hand stays limp, just kind of letting her do what she wants, not returning the gesture at all, instead of pulling her closer like he used to.

“Guess I thought you two were the anomaly.” Mitch teases. “Then I learned I’d have to bring my A game all the time.”

“Yeah buddy.” Tom says, looking over at his daughter’s boyfriend right after he sinks Fitz and Ryan’s last cup. “Who’s with you?”

-----

By the time Mitch and Will get demolished in beer pong, Aubrey and Steph are fighting back a laugh at their dads’ light buzz already going and the neighbors have started to arrive, which brings a temporary pause to pong play for more introductions.

The neighbors all love Will, which, of course they do. Aubrey’s not surprised at all. He’s funny and charming and personable, just has this air that draws people in, and every one of her mom’s friends finds her at some point after they meet Will to gush about how wonderful he is.

“Yeah.” Aubrey says, almost helplessly to Mrs. Jones and Mrs. Morris, as she watches Will with Kayls and Cam across the room. “He’s pretty great.” They smile knowingly at her, Mrs. Jones winking as she passes, leaving Aubrey to watch them with a fond smile on her face.

It’s Will who notices her staring first, because of course it is. Kayls and Cam are oblivious to everything around them. He catches her eye, still laughing about whatever they’re talking about, and there’s a second where his smile grows when he sees her, a second Aubrey feels a grin growing across her own face.

And then it all stops abruptly as something flashes over Will’s face, and as quick as the grin was there, it’s gone.

Aubrey frowns and watches as Will returns to talking with Kayls and Cam again, but notices the smile on his face seems forced now. She wants...well, she doesn’t know exactly what she wants, but she’s tired of not knowing what’s going on with him.

“Hey.” Fitz nudges her shoulder. “It’s too early for you to be sad about going to your dad’s tomorrow. Come take a shot with me.”

“I-” It’s not that. She starts to say, but stops herself. Today’s not the day to try and tease out whatever’s going on with Will. Whatever it is could wait until after Christmas. “Yeah, sure.”

Fitz grins, leading her over to the makeshift bar, corralling a few friends as they go, but by the time he starts pouring, the crowd around them has gotten bigger. Will’s standing next to her, but the space he’s left between them feels so purposeful, and it only makes Aubrey frown as she listens to Fitz’s Christmas toast, as he cheers to a Merry Christmas, a Happy New Year, to good friends and great family. “And a way too cool future brother-in-law.” He jokes. “Don’t fuck this up, Aub!”

“Yo!” Mitch protests loudly as Aubrey feels the breath get stuck in her chest.

She can’t even look at Will, so tense she can hardly bring her shot glass up to her mouth. The alcohol barely even burns and she knows it’s not because she’s too drunk to taste it; the numbness of her brother’s comment still stinging, and it’s well after she’s deposited her shot glass on the counter that she realizes, “Where’s Will?”

Mitch frowns, looking behind them. “He was right here, wasn’t he?”

Aubrey nods slowly, trying to stand on her toes and search for him. “Can you just-” She starts.

Steph’s right on her wavelength. “You look up here; we’ll check downstairs.”

Will is nowhere to be found on the main floor, so she heads upstairs and finally finds him in the room they’d thrown their bags in earlier. “Hey.” She breathes out a sigh of relief. “There you are.”

“Here I am.” Will says quietly. He’s in front of the taller dresser, looking at the bulletin board covered in pictures from high school and college- one of the few relics left in the room from when it was hers before her mom refashioned it into a guest room.

“I’m sorry about Fitz!” She blurts. “He didn’t mean any-”

“We should be wrapping up soon, right?” Will says abruptly, interrupting her.

“What?” Aubrey frowns, shocked. That is...not at all what she thought he’d say.

“This?” He gestures between the two of them. “Like, Mitch and Steph definitely think we're a thing. Can call this off soon?”

“Um.” Aubrey tries to breathe but something’s definitely restricting that ability. “We…what?”

“We can stop this pretending.” Will says, like it’s obvious, and Aubrey feels her stomach drop. This...this was all pretend to him. “Do that break up that’s going to crush them. The whole reason we did this.”

“Right.” She swallows the lump in her throat. “Uh yeah, we can do that.”

Will shrugs. “Cool.” He says, and then turns and walks away, leaving Aubrey standing there wondering where exactly she went wrong.

-----

“Ok.” Steph snaps her fingers and only then does Aubrey look up from the Leafs vs. Calgary game that her best friend invited her over to watch that she’s paying absolutely no attention to- and hasn’t actually been able to focus on all night. Her best friend is standing in front of her, holding a new bottle of wine, and looking concerned. “I’ve asked for your glass like four times now. What’s going on?”

Aubrey bites her lip and holds her glass out. If she’s going to do this, they’re both going to need refills. “I have to tell you something.”

Steph frowns immediately but fills Aubrey’s glass and then her own. “Uhh, ok? What’s up.”

Aubrey doesn’t know whether she needs a deep breath or a sip of wine to settle her nerves. She goes for both. “Will and I aren’t together.”

And maybe...maybe that was the wrong way to phrase it, because Steph’s face just falls. “I’m so sorry, babe.” She says, reaching out and rubbing Aubrey’s arm. “I really thought-” She shakes her head and Aubrey’s still trying to figure out what she said wrong, what she can say to make her see what she really means. “Are you okay?”

“No.” Aubrey says and Steph looks like she wants to reach for the wine bottle and pull her in for a hug at the same time, until she continues. “No, I mean; Will and I aren’t together now because we were never really together at all and no, I’m not okay either, actually, now that you mention it.”

Now Steph frowns uncertainly, like she doesn’t know what to say. And that look? The one on her face right there? If it didn’t feel like her heart was already breaking, she’d be cherishing that look.

Now she can’t even enjoy it.

“You’re going to have to explain this one to me.” Steph says, her voice carefully neutrally.

So Aubrey does- beginning with the night that Mitch and Steph had had them over and her and Will’s plan to get them to stop nagging, to when they’d started sleeping together, to how it felt like they were together for real and on the same page, right up until they weren’t.

“I wanna be so mad at you right now.” Steph says, after a long silence.

“You should be.” Aubrey admits. “I would be.

“Well, you’re making it really hard looking so sad.” Steph glares. “And being so dumb.” Aubrey’s jaw drops, even if the callout is probably well deserved. “Will looks at you like you are the center of the universe. He looks like his entire day has gotten better every time you walk into the room. For God’s sake, he willingly met your dad on Christmas last week! You cannot honestly tell me you think he doesn’t really want to be with you!”

“He told me he wanted to stop!” Aubrey cries. “He was the one who said we should do the breakup!”

“Well if you don’t want to, then tell him!” Steph dares.

“Stephanie.” Aubrey frowns.

“What?”

“I can’t do that!” Aubrey hisses.

“Why not?” Steph pours another glass of wine for herself and then passes the bottle over. Aubrey accepts eagerly. “Did Will tell you why he wanted to stop this...dating thing?”

“...no.” Aubrey sighs. It’s another thing that’s been driving her crazy.

“So ask him.” Steph says plainly. “And tell him you don’t want to stop.”

Aubrey bites her lip nervously. “But what if he says no?”

“Honestly the worst thing that happens here is that you still break up.” Steph says gently. “But this really just sounds like a matter of you two actually needing to talk about where you stand. Will’s not a mind-reader, Aub; he can’t have known you didn’t want to stop things, especially if this was all your idea in the first place.”

Ugh, she’s right. “I hate everything about this.” Aubrey sing-songs. “Including the fact that you even introduced us.”

Now Steph grins. “You do not hate that we introduced you. You just hate feeling vulnerable.”

That’s too accurate to address, so Aubrey flips her off and reaches for the wine again.

-----

Will picks her up for the Leafs annual New Year’s Eve party and it’s unfair because no one should look that good dressed in black pants and a sweater, but there’s Will waiting by the car with a beanie on his head and a pea coat left open, for maximal torture is the only reason Aubrey can think of.

“Hi.” She breathes, running across the street to him as best she can in her heels.

It takes him a second to respond. “Hi.” He says finally, opening the door for her. “You uh, planning on blinding us all tonight?” He teases, once he slides into the backseat of the uber with her.

Aubrey giggles at the lame joke as she looks down at her glittery skirt. It’s such a lame joke but she’s just so relieved he even made it. That they still have dumb things to laugh over. “Hmm, over-under on how many of us are wearing something sparkly tonight. 10?”

“Over.” Will answers immediately and she giggles again.

The ride doesn’t take long so it’s only a few minutes before they’re pulling up to the club, where they run into Travis Dermott and his girlfriend exiting their uber at the same time. “Nine more.” Will whispers in her ear, as Kat turns to greet them, and they both catch sight of a sparkly tank under her jacket.

“Hush.” Aubrey bites back a laugh, but only barely, before she pulls Kat in for a hug. Inside is about as loud as she’d expected but once they all step upstairs into the VIP section roped off for them, it’s easier to hear, easier to think, and easier to breathe.

Or at least, it is for a moment. She can feel Will’s eyes on her from across the room, where he’s at the bar ordering drinks for the two of them, and she and Kat have gone to say hi to more people.

“So, uh.” Steph says, in lieu of hello. “I don’t think Will’s being weird anymore.”

When Aubrey turns and follows Steph’s eyes, Will’s still looking at her, unashamed in his gaze or getting caught. He winks back at her, grinning when she smiles at him. “No.” She says slowly. “I guess not.” Steph just grins at that, kind of smugly, and Aubrey huffs at that, turning away to greet Morgan and Tessa behind her.

It’s not long before Will returns with drinks, still grinning as he pulls her immediately to the dance floor. He pulls out some of his most ridiculous moves and Aubrey laughs, harder and harder the more she drinks, and then finally falling against him after he and Mitch attempt the Toosie Slide together.

“Why are you laughing?” Will demands, wrapping an arm around her waist and taking her hand, leading her into some weird kind of slow dance, even as the song changes into something by The Chainsmokers.

“I just like seeing you like this.” She grins.

His brow furrows. “Like what?”

“Just-” She doesn’t know how to explain it. How open he is right now, how loose and easy and warm he looks because he’s just able to be himself, and how happy she feels to be with him, especially when he’s like this. “Just happy, I guess.”

Will grins again and presses a loud kiss to her temple, that she barely has time to giggle at, because he says, “Always happy to be with you,” like it’s the most casual thing in the world.

And Aubrey gasps in shock, but she doesn’t think Will even notices, because he’s dipping her back over his arm right after that and then she’s too busy laughing again.

-----

Steph flops down on the remaining couch seat and ignores the look that Auston sends her in favor of fanning herself with her hand. “Sure.” He says dryly. “I’ll move over a little.”

“Would you? Thanks.” She snickers and he shakes his head fondly at her.

“How about you?” He looks over at Aubrey. “Gonna squish me in the corner even more?”

Aubrey’s already settled herself on his other side, on the edge of the couch. “Nah, I’m good here.” She bumps her shoulder against his.

“Is it even possible to squish you in the corner?” Steph muses.

“Why are you squished in the corner?” Aubrey asks, confused. “What, you couldn’t find a date for New Year’s?”

“I make it a point to not bring dates to holiday parties.” Auston says and Aubrey’s jaw drops.

Steph’s snickering into her palm though, so it’s clear this particular brand of assholery isn’t unfamiliar. “Holidays and events.” She cackles. “Keep those expectations low.”

“Although now that I know that all it takes to make a girl leave is to just have you walk in my house the next morning…” Auston trails off thoughtfully.

Aubrey shoves at his head, ruffling his hair on purpose, but she can’t help but laugh along with him. “Don’t you fucking dare. I’ve got better things to do than that.”

“Like what?” Steph says, too innocently to be real. “Will?”

“I’m leaving.” Aubrey stands, as Steph and Auston both laugh. “I don’t have to listen to this.”

“Is noon good tomorrow?” She hears Auston call after her, while Steph cackles next to him. “How about 12:30?” She flips him off over her shoulder, without looking back, instead pushing her way around Fred and his new girl, to find Will where she’d left him at the bar with Mitch.

But at the bar, she finds only Mitch, who’s looking a little confused. “Where’s Will?” She asks.

“Um.” Is all Mitch says and Aubrey frowns immediately.

“Mitch, what happened?” Aubrey says flatly and Mitch caves right away.

“I don’t know!” He says. “We were just ordering drinks, watching you guys, everything seemed fine, and next thing I know, he was walking away!”

“Well where did he go?” She asks impatiently, barely waiting for Mitch to point before she’s shoving her way through the crowd.

It feels like she circles the entire building before she finally finds Will, and it’s more like she happens to run into him than she actually finds him, which just annoys her even more, enough that she grabs his hand and pulls him outside to a spot far enough away that it’s quiet enough to talk.

It’s not quiet- it’s still New Year’s Eve and there’s people all around them going up and down the street- but it’s far enough from the door that they can’t feel the music anymore, at least.

Will’s staring at their hands, still linked, but he’s not saying anything, and even though she’s the one who dragged them out into the cold, he’s the one who started acting weird in the first place, and she feels her annoyance grow. “I thought we were having a really good time tonight?”

Will sighs. “We were.” He pauses. “I was, at least.”

“Ok, I was too.” Aubrey says slowly. “So, what happened?”

Will sighs again. “Look, it’s fine, like this was never supposed to be a thing with us, yeah? I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at me. I’ll get over it.”

She’s so confused. “Get over what? Why are you mad?”

“I saw you,” Will says. “Coming out of Auston’s one morning. I was driving past, after practice on my way home.” He shrugs, almost casually, but she can see in his face how hurt he is. “And like, we were never supposed to be a thing.” He repeats and she frowns. Why does he keep saying that? “So I’m not mad at you and I can’t even be mad at him. But I saw you and Matts together and I knew I liked you more than you liked me.” He shrugs again, trying to play off his words as light as casual, but Aubrey’s trying to put the pieces together of what he said. “I know you’d rather be here with him tonight, but that’s why I can’t do this anymore.”

“Oh my god.” She breathes. “You’re so dumb.”

“Hey!” Will protests.

“We’re so dumb.” She corrects, because, really, it’s the truth. “I was at Auston’s that day because he was the only one who knew about us at the time and I needed to talk to someone about if I’m in love with you!”

Will doesn’t move for a second, the longest second of Aubrey’s entire life. “Where, uh, where’d you land on that one?” He asks, like he’s kind of nervous for the answer.

And Aubrey can relate; there are butterflies in her stomach, even though she’s positive she knows how this is going to end now. “Pretty strongly in favor for.” She says and Will beams, that bright smile that lights up his entire face. “I didn’t get to tell you earlier, but I’m always happy to be with you, too.”

“That’s good.” Will says mildly, and Aubrey grins, waiting for the rest. “Because I really love seeing you smile like that.”

Her jaw drops a little. She’s not upset about what he said at all; it’s just so not what she expected him to say. And in that moment of silence, Will grins down at her once more, before leaning down to kiss her.

-----

It’s late the next morning by the time Aubrey tumbles out of bed, yanking a t-shirt of Will’s over her head. Will’s been up for at least an hour already, and she kisses his cheek as she passes, giggling as he lightly pats her ass in return.

“Coffee’s still warm.” He says.

“I still love you.” She teases. “That’s not changing just because you kept the pot warm.” Will flips her off and returns back to the game he’s playing on his Switch. “Have you seen my phone?”

“Near the front door.”

Most of her stuff is still by the front door, thrown hastily down when they’d come in late last night. Her phone’s still got a little battery left, filled with messages from late last night and earlier this morning, but one in particular catches her eye.

Steph LaChance: i told you so 😉

#william nylander #william nylander fan fic #william nylander fanfiction #william nylander imagine #Hockey Fanfiction #hockey fanfic #nhl fanfiction #nhl fanfic #nhl imagines #hockey imagines #my hockey fics

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study-coffee-chicago · 3 years

Text

Seasons of Med: Season 2 and Seasons of PD: Season 4: Necessities, Love, & Care (A Halstead Brothers + Halstead Sister! Imagine)

Your age: 15

Jay's age: 29

Will's age: 31

You were currently sitting at the library, trying to figure out how you'd get food for dinner. It was January and you had run out of your Christmas money two weeks ago and you had burned through your money from helping with kettle corn at the beginning of December. Right now you were SOL: Shit outta luck.

Your mind wandered back to the last day you had helped working the kettle corn stand when it was a dreary late October day.

"We have kettle corn, caramel corn, cheddar, Chicago style, and a few other flavors," you explained to a customer. She picked up a medium bag of caramel corn. "That one?"

"Yes, dear. Me and my husband love this stuff," the old lady said.

"I'm sure. It's really good! It'll be six dollars." She pulled out a five and two ones. "I'll be right back with your change."

"Oh, no, keep the change, dear. Thank you for the popcorn."

"You're welcome. Have a nice day."

"Y/N," Emma said to you. "Can you grab me a lemonade from the cooler?"

"Just one?"

"Yup, just one."

You grabbed it from the cooler and were about to pass it to her when you saw who her customers were: Jay and Erin.

"Y/N?" Jay asked. "What are you doing here?"

"Working," you answered quickly. "Little bit of extra money never hurt anybody. The real question is, what are you doing here? I know Erin hates being outside when the weather is crappy."

"It's because he's annoying when he whines and begs to do something, so I figured it was just best to give in," Erin answered.

Jay rolled his eyes. "God, I can't win with either of you. Why do you always gang up on me?"

"Because, Halstead, us girls gotta stick together," Erin laughed.

"Okay, okay, fine. Y/N, what popcorn should I get?"

"First of all, it's kettle corn," you corrected. "And, I suggest the cheddar. Or, if you want a combination of both salty and sweet, then get the Chicago style. It's cheddar and caramel."

"Me and Erin like sweet, but I know you. You like cheddar. And you'll pick out the cheddar pieces when you're at my apartment, so I'll get the Chicago style."

"Or," Erin started as she picked up a large bag of caramel and a large bag of cheddar, "We could get this big bag of caramel, and then you could have this bag at your apartment for Y/N. That way the flavors aren't touching."

"Erin Lindsay and not liking her food touching. Fine, we'll take what Erin suggested and one lemonade."

"One or two straw holes?" Emma asked, picking up the lid-punching tool.

"One's fine," Jay answered.

"They swap enough spit as it is," you whispered to Emma, causing her to laugh.

"What'd she say?" Jay asked.

"I can't tell you. It's a secret."

He huffed. "Fine. Keeping secrets from your big brother? That's cold Y/N, that's cold."

"So you're saying you never kept secrets from Will?" Erin asked.

"I have the right to remain silent."

"Exactly," Erin said. "How much does he owe you?"

"Excuse me? I didn't know I'd be the one paying for all of this."

"You were the one who dragged me outside, so yes, you are paying, Halstead. Now, get your card ready."

Jay rolled his eyes and pulled out his wallet. "How much?"

You did the math in your head. "$23."

"Emma, can you check her math?" Jay asked and you rolled your eyes in his lack of faith in you.

"$10 for the cheddar and $8 for the caramel makes $18...plus $5 for the lemonade...yup $23."

You handed him the card reader. "And now it's just going to ask you a few questions," you told him after his card went through.

Without allowing him to read it all the way through, Erin hit the tip and no receipt buttons. "Hey!" Jay exclaimed.

"Don't blame me! You were the one who wanted me to come out here!" She turned to you and took the bag of kettle corn as Jay picked up the 32 oz lemonade. "Thanks, Y/N!"

"No problem! Just make sure he doesn't buy any more paintings of motorcycles!"

Man, how you wished you could work that job right now because it was only for a few hours on the weekends. But, it was winter now, so there were no street fairs, farmers markets, or festivals going on. Because of this, your money had run out. You'd have to do what you'd have to get yourself some food, even if it would leave you with a guilty conscience.

With that in mind, you got up and left the library.

***

"Pop's been complaining of chest pain and refuses to go to the hospital," Jay told his older brother as he walked through the front door and into the living room.

"Of course he did," Will grumbled. Then, he turned to his father. "This won't take long. Unless it's bad. Then you'll have to come with me and actually go to the hospital this time."

"You can't force me to do anything," he argued as he watched his oldest son open up his medical bag.

"Just let him do his job. He knows what he's doing," Jay agreed with Will. Then, he remembered something. "Where's Y/N?"

"At school."

"At school? At 5 pm?" Jay asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Sometimes she stays after school and does homework. She's always home before it gets too late so I don't ask."

It's not like Jay and Will could have known this, though. Yes, you would talk and they're obviously there for you because they're your brothers, but your dad's parenting skills--or lack thereof--hadn't ever come up. You'd get together with your brothers once a week, but it was usually at one of your brothers' places. They rarely came inside your and your dad's place.

"All units, we have reports of a robbery at 3020 East Main Street. Assistance requested," Jay's radio stated.

Jay looked to Will, silently asking if it was okay for him to take it. "I've got it from here."

"Thanks, man," Jay said, clapping Will on the back and leaving the house.

He drove to the small corner market that had made the call. It was only a block away from where you and your dad lived, but despite it usually being somewhat slow, today it was even slower. There was only one car parked in the lot, so Jay was confused as to who would even rob this place.

He put on his vest and walked into the store. "Got a call about a robbery," he said to the store manager as he entered.

"Yes, right over here."

He led Jay over to where a girl was sitting on a stool, tears rolling down her face. She held a box of pasta, a loaf of bread, and a small jar of peanut butter. Her coat was unzipped, revealing the tampons and pads she had stuffed inside her coat after she had ripped open the box.

"Y/N?" Jay asked in disbelief. "What are you doing? What were you even thinking?"

"I- I'm sorry," you sniffled.

Then he turned to the store manager. "You called the cops on a fifteen-year-old girl for grabbing what looks to me like necessities?"

"I've let her go the past two times when she needed things, but today she didn't have the money, so I couldn't let it slide."

Jay threw $30 in the man's hand. "There. Now it's all paid for." He turned to you and took the loaf of bread. "C'mon."

You followed him out of the store, waiting to be yelled at as you entered his truck, but it didn't come. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he handed you the bread. "Why? Why did you do this?"

"There- There's barely any food in the house. I was just hungry."

Jay looked you up and down. He hadn't been really looking for changes in weight like he told Natalie he would do six months ago. He kept it up for a few months and then winter came around and it was hard to tell because of bulky jackets and sweaters. But, now that he actually looked at your face and hands in an investigative manner, it was clear as day: You had lost even more weight.

"And the other stuff?" he asked.

"Dad won't buy them for me. Says that they're too expensive and to just use something else. He said that if he had had a son he wouldn't have to worry about it, like it's my fault. Usually, I take some from school, but I ran out and I needed them."

"And the food?" Jay asked as he started driving back to his childhood home.

"I get breakfast and lunch at school, but I have to eat dinner at home. And on weekends I just skip meals and eat breakfast and dinner."

"What? What about Dad?"

"He gets takeout or he goes to the bar and isn't home until late."

Jay sighed as he pulled into the driveway. "Go pack a bag, kid. You're staying at my place until further notice."

"Really? I thought you guys forgot about me?"

"We could never forget about you. It's just, work has been busy for both of us. So, sorry if these last few times we've all been together for dinner have seemed a little rushed. Now, go inside and grab your stuff while I have a chat with Will and Dad."

"Dad, Will," Jay said after you had run upstairs and they were sitting on the couch. "I need to talk to you. In the kitchen."

"Really, Jay. Why can't it be here?" your dad grumbled. "First he--" He pointed to Will. "Wants to take me to the hospital because he said I have a valve issue and now I can't even have a conversation with my sons while sitting down?"

"Just get up, dammit!"

The three entered the kitchen and sat down, but Jay stayed standing. "Jay, what's going on?" Will asked.

Instead of answering his older brother, Jay just opened the fridge. There was a half drank gallon of milk, a jar of grape jelly, and a can of pasta sauce, along with other condiments, and a lone egg sat on a shelf. "This? This is what you expect your daughter to eat? I caught her stealing from a store just so she could get food and tampons!"

"Well, I'm not gonna pay for it."

"Excuse you?" Will exclaimed, eyebrows raised in surprise. "What do you mean you're not paying for it? She's your daughter, isn't she? Then you have a legal responsibility to feed her, make sure she has shelter, clothes, and goes to school!"

"She can go get a job."

"She is fucking fifteen!" Jay yelled. "She doesn't need to be worrying about where her next meal is coming from! She's supposed to be worrying about getting a good grade on a math test or if that boy likes her or not, but not that!"

"She needs to learn to grow up someday. And she won't if you boys baby her like you always do whenever you see her."

"Baby her?" Will yelled, disgusted. "She's a kid. She needs to be babied sometimes. She needs fucking food and a nice home to come home to, not whatever the hell you think this is."

"It hasn't been a home since your mother died."

"Yeah, we gathered that," Jay scoffed. "But you don't have to take it out on her."

"Jay," your small voice said from the doorway into the kitchen. All three men looked over to you, your backpack on your back, a duffle bag slung over your shoulder, and your favorite blanket wadded up in your hands so that you could carry it without it dragging on the ground.

"Ready to go?" Jay asked, his voice immediately softening.

"Uh, yeah," you answered, unsure of how your dad would react.

"What do you mean ready to go?" Pat Halstead asked, standing up from where he had been previously sitting at the table. "She's not going anywhere!"

Will rushed over to you, placing a hand on your shoulder while Jay stalked over to be face to face with your dad. "She is coming with me until further notice. You're lucky I don't arrest your ass for child neglect!"

"You wouldn't do that to your own father!"

Jay pulled the cuffs out of his back pocket. "Oh yeah? Try me."

He sat back down and Jay turned to you. "Here, let me take that." You handed him your duffle bag and followed him and Will outside.

"Jay, I gotta go. I gotta get Dad to Med to get the valve fixed. And, I said one hour out of the hospital tops and it's been two."

Jay closed the truck door once you were safely inside with all your stuff. "Good luck trying to get Dad to go the hospital," he scoffed. "Get going. Don't give Goodwin another reason to fire your stupid ass."

"I'll call an ambulance if I have to." Then, Will smacked Jay upside the head.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"You know what it was for. And, I'm your older brother, it's my job."

"I'm your older brother, it's my job," Jay mocked. "But, in all seriousness, do me a favor and make sure Y/N's all caught up on her immune- immune--"

"Immunizations?" Will laughed.

"Yeah, those."

"I'll do that. And if she's not, I'll give them to her tonight when I come over to your place after my shift is done...which will be in like two hours...depending on how much of a pain in the ass he is to get in the hospital."

Jay nodded, and then got in the truck, both of you making your way to his place.

"I'm gonna go take a shower," Jay said after you had put your stuff down by the couch. "You have homework?"

"Yeah," you looked down, not wanting to even try and struggle through your homework...or have Jay sign the slip that said that you failed your last test.

Jay smiled. "I'll help you with it when I'm out of the shower, okay, kid?"

"How'd you know--"

"That is the universal facial expression of I need help, but I don't know how to ask for it. I'll be ten minutes tops."

And so, you tried to struggle through your homework for ten minutes. But, you ended up working and reworking the stupid algebra problem. Why did math need letters anyway?

"Okay, I'm back," Jay said as he pulled a chair out to sit next to you. "What are you workin' on?"

"Can you sign this first?" you asked, sliding the yellow paper over to him along with the pen. You hoped he'd just sign it blind, but as you saw his eyes skimming the page, you knew that wouldn't happen.

"Did you try your best?" he asked as he slid the piece of paper back to you after signing it.

"What? Yeah, of course, I did."

"Okay, then we'll figure something out. Now, how about we eat some dinner? I've got pizza in the freezer. That okay?"

"That's great," you answered.

Jay got the pizza in the oven while you went and changed into your pajamas. You decided it was in your best interest to have Will help you with your math homework.

***

"Ah! The man of the hour!" Jay exclaimed as he pulled out the pizza and Will entered the house.

You immediately noticed the red bag he was carrying over his shoulder and the two king-sized Twix bars.

"Why do you have your medical bag?" you asked.

"How did you know this was my medical bag?"

"I'm not stupid, Will."

"Okay, so you're all caught up on your shots, but I need to do a blood draw because I need to see if you're deficient in any vitamins and minerals. Have you been eating enough fruits and veggies?" he asked.

"Probably not as much as I should," you admitted. "They're too expensive unless I get the canned kind and I don't like those unless it's canned peaches. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Short Stack. None of this is your fault. You hear me? None of it. I just need to take the blood and then get it sent to the lab to see if you need to get any specific pills to get your vitamin and mineral levels up."

"Okay. Does it hurt?" you asked. You knew what a shot felt like, but you'd never had your blood drawn before, so you didn't know what it felt like to have a needle in your arm for a long time, taking blood. You knew what it felt like to have an IV in from when you passed out at the movie theater, but you didn't know if this needle would be the same size or bigger.

"You just feel a slight pinch at the beginning."

"Like getting a shot?"

"Like getting a shot," he confirmed.

"Hey, I was thinking," Jay started as he reappeared from the kitchen area, "what if we have celery and carrots with ranch for dinner, too? You know, like when we eat chicken wings at restaurants and they bring you some veggies, except we'll have ours with pizza."

"Okay," you agreed. "I like ranch."

"So does everyone in the midwest," Will joked.

"What's the medical bag for?" Jay asked. "She needs shots? And, what's with the Twix bars?"

"No, I'm drawing her blood to see if she's deficient in anything. And, there's one Twix bar for her and one for you because we all know how you feel about needles, Jay."

Jay rolled his eyes. "We doing this before we eat?"

"Yes. And, I need you to answer some questions for me, Y/N. These are strictly doctor protocol questions, okay? You don't need to be embarrassed about any of the answers."

You nodded.

"Okay," Will started, "When did you last eat? Just need to write it down for fasting glucose levels."

"Um, lunch at school, so around noon."

"So, six-hour fast," Will scribbled down on a piece of paper. "Next one, are you sexually active?"

"Will!"

"It's just standard protocol, just in case I need to test for STDs."

"No, I am not. Next question."

"Okay, last one: When was your last period?"

"You've got to be kidding me. I'm not pregnant, I haven't had sex!"

Will chuckled. "It's not for that. Sometimes when people are deficient in vitamins and minerals, they can lose their period for months at a time, signaling that their body isn't healthy. The medical term is amenorrhea." But, what he wanted to say was that when girls are underweight, this can also happen. And, from seeing how baggy your sweatshirt and jeans were on you, he assumed that you'd lost ten pounds since last going to the doctor when you passed out in the movie theater parking lot, making your weight loss a grand total of 25 pounds, which would qualify you as being underweight.

"Oh. I started today."

"Okay, good to know. Any changes in length or heaviness of menstruation?"

"I swear, I'd rather have Natalie or April be asking me these questions," you grumbled. "But, yes, it's a lot lighter and it went from me having my periods for five days to two days. Can we please stop talking about this now?"

"Yeah, we're all done. Sorry about that, but it's protocol."

"Says the guy who's drawing my blood at Jay's apartment instead of in a hospital, where it should be done."

"Hey, I've worked in much worse conditions than this in Sudan. How much water did you drink today?"

"A lot."

"Okay, good." Will started to unzip his medical bag. He passed a Twix bar to Jay. "Here, eat this and focus on it so you don't focus on the needles and then freak out."

Jay rolled his eyes, but took the candy bar and unwrapped it.

"Do I get one?" you asked.

"Once I draw your blood, yes, the other one is for you. Now, right or left arm?"

You held out your left arm and Will moved to the other side of you so he had a better angle. He sanitized his hands and then snapped on a pair of gloves.

"So, what do you do?" you asked. "I've never had my blood drawn before."

"I just tie off your arm so that I can get the veins to show a bit better, wipe down the spot with an antiseptic wipe, stick the needle in, and then wait for the vial to fill up."

"That's it?"

"That's it. Can you make a fist with your left hand for me?"

You did as Will told you and then he tied a band around your bicep and started touching the inside of your elbow, trying to get some veins to show. He furrowed his eyebrows and moved down your arm, rubbing your forearm and then going back up to the crook of your elbow and gently pressing there.

"What's wrong?" you asked.

"You just have really small veins is all. I could take the blood from the big vein in your forearm, but I don't really want to do that one since it's so big. Can you squeeze your fist tighter for me?" You did as he said while he kept pressing on the crook of your elbow. "There we go. Got one. Now, turn and look at Jay while I get the needle ready."

You looked at Jay and tried not to laugh. "You okay?"

"Me? I should be asking you that," he replied. "You're the one who's about to get stabbed with a needle."

"It's just that you got some sweat on your forehead. You look nervous."

"They're needles. They're tiny little sharp metal objects and if one breaks off--"

"Jay, respectfully," Will started, cutting off his brother, "shut the hell up, so you don't scare my patient. You might just want to look away instead of watching me. Then you might feel fine." Then, he turned back to you. "Okay, Y/N, keep looking at Jay. Close your eyes if you want to. You're going to feel a small pinch."

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. Then, you squeezed your eyes shut tightly and grit your teeth, trying not to yell out as the needle pierced your skin.

"Hard part's done," Will said. You nodded, still keeping your eyes closed.

"That was not a small pinch," you retorted about a minute later.

"Sorry."

You opened your eyes and watched as the blood flowed from your vein into the small tube that was hooked up to the needle.

"I thought you hated blood," Jay pointed out. "And here you are, watching the entire process."

"I'm fine when it's my blood if it's not a huge, deep cut," you explained. "It's other people's blood I don't like."

"Well, that takes any job in the medical field off your career choices," Will said.

You sat there for a few more minutes, waiting for the vial to fill up. Will pressed on your arm, close to the needle, to see if more would come out. "This vein is really small," he said.

You watched as the blood coming into the tube started becoming slower and slower, in what looked to be bubbles.

"Just a little more," Will muttered.

You started taking deeper breaths as you felt sweat start to bead on your forehead.

"Okay, let's see how much this gave me." He pressed his thumb above where the needle was and you turned back to Jay as he removed the needle.

Then, he got the blood into the vial. "Bad news," he started, "I might need to take more. Let's see how much extra there is." He put the extra into another, smaller vial. "Yeah, this one clotted too, so bad news, we need more."

You nodded and closed your eyes, feeling your face get hot and starting to feel lightheaded. You pinched the bridge of your nose, willing this uncomfortable feeling to go away.

"You doing okay?" Will asked.

"Yeah," you answered.

"Okay, I'm gonna do your right arm this time." You held your right arm out to him. "Make a fist for me." You did as he told you and he tied the blue band around your bicep.

But, you were getting even dizzier. "Actually, can I get some water? I feel dizzy."

"Course," Will said. "Jay, can you get her some water and juice if you have any?"

"Apple juice good?"

"That's fine," you answered.

Will untied the band from your bicep. "We're just going to wait a few minutes until you feel less dizzy before I take more blood, okay?"

You nodded and took the water from Jay when he came back.

"Let's have the juice after I finish," Will suggested after a few minutes had passed and you finished the water. "Feeling better, Short Stack?"

"Yeah, let's get this over with." Your forehead was still a bit sweaty, but you were a lot less dizzy.

Will repeated the same process as the last arm and it went a lot faster. Turns out he picked a bit bigger vein in the crook of your elbow of this arm than he did the other one.

"And, we're done," Will said as he capped the vial.

He handed you the juice. "Thanks," you said. "That was not fun."

"I bet. At least you didn't pass out. I've had a few patients do that when I went through my clinicals. That's why normally when someone gets their blood drawn, they sit in this chair where something is flipped down in front of them so they don't fall out of the chair just in case they pass out."

"Jay, do you pass out?" you asked.

He scoffed. "No. I don't even get dizzy. My body doesn't react like that."

"He just breaks out into a sweat whenever he sees needles," Will whispered, loud enough for Jay to hear.

"Hey! I heard that! Take one more jab at me and you won't be getting any pizza, Will. I mean it!"

Will held his hands up in a mock surrender while you finished up your juice. Then, Will started to pack up his medical stuff and Jay brought the pizza and veggies and ranch out, along with plates of course.

You ate your pizza while Will helped you with your math homework. Once you finished two slices of pizza and some celery and ranch, you said that you were done.

"You sure?" Jay asked. "You can have as much as you want."

"I'm good. Gotta save some for tomorrow." Your eyes widened as you realized what you had just said. "I'm gonna go take a shower. It's been a long day."

"Okay, clean towels are in the cabinet in the bathroom where they always are," Jay said, trying not to react to what you had just said even though he knew exactly what you were doing.

You were rationing food.

"Fuck," Jay said as he put his head in his hands when he knew you were in the bathroom and out of earshot.

"What? What did she mean by gotta save some for tomorrow?" Will asked.

"She's rationing it. I used to do it in Afghanistan. Save some of my MRE and put it in my pack to eat the next day if I was on a long trek and we knew we wouldn't get back to base. It would be cold and usually disgusting, but I'd choke it down because it was calories and I needed fuel to be sharp in case we came in contact with combatants."

"Poor kid. At least we had Mom."

Jay nodded. "What happened with Dad at the hospital?"

"Had to have a mitral valve replacement because his wasn't working properly. Told him over and over to get his checked regularly, but he didn't because he's stubborn. He went for the non-surgical option first, but then there were complications, so Rhodes performed surgery. He's fine."

"That's good... I guess." Jay glanced around and he saw your duffle bag sitting outside the bathroom door. You had grabbed your clothes to bring them into the bathroom and left your open duffle bag by the door.

Jay stood up and started walking towards it.

"What are you doing?" Will hissed.

"I need to see if she's got anything else in there that will help prove neglect. I'm assuming it needs to be proved...I only know criminal court cases, don't know much about family court cases."

"What do you mean family court? You're going to fight Dad to be able to take care of her?"

"Yeah, I'll fight to be her legal guardian. Unless you want to do it. My loan went through for a new apartment, which has two bedrooms, so I figured I might be better suited."

"Go ahead. You'd probably have a better chance anyway because you were around more when I was in New York."

Jay nodded and started to dig around your duffle bag. He chuckled and pulled out your Build-A-Bear. "She still sleeps with Beary," he said as he held up the stuffed bear. "Probably doesn't change his clothes anymore because she's too old for that, but he's in pajamas."

"Remember that military uniform you got for her bear? Mom said she barely took Beary out of that because she missed you so much."

"Yeah, and if she wouldn't have dropped him at the airport, I might not have met Mouse."

The two fell into a comfortable silence as he continued to dig through your bag. He got to a big zip-lock bag full of pieces of fabric that were stained light reds and browns.

"Will, c'mere," Jay said, waving him over. Will squatted down next to Jay. "You know what this is?"

Will sighed. "Unfortunately, yes. I saw a lot of this when I worked in Sudan."

"Well, what is it?"

"So, when girls don't have access or money to buy feminine hygiene products, they'll use scraps of fabric and wash them. Looks to me like she cut up some, um, she cut up some underwear and then used them as make-shift pads. If they aren't taken care of properly, she could end up with an infection. And, if she tried to use them as tampons instead of pads, it could lead to TSS, which stands for Toxic Shock Syndrome."

"We're gonna have to talk to her about this now, aren't we?"

"Unfortunately, yeah. She's not gonna be happy you dug through her stuff, so I'll let you explain why you were going through it. And, if she used them as tampons, I want her to get a pelvic exam, just to make sure she didn't get any infections. Much more likely to get an infection from tampons than pads."

Jay nodded. He hated having the current conversation and knew he was going to hate the next one even more, but he knew he had to do these things if he wanted to petition the court for legal guardianship.

Jay picked up your duffle bag and brought it to the living room and he set the zip-lock bag full of pieces of fabric on top.

"I can't believe we missed this," Will said. "I mean, we're both trained in how to spot abuse and we couldn't even spot it in our little sister."

"There weren't outright signs," Jay said. "No bruising, limping, cuts, burns, nothing like that. And, it's winter, it's easy to hide the weight loss. But, I still agree with you. If we would've spotted it earlier, we could've gotten her out of there."

"I'm pretty sure she's officially underweight now."

Jay ran a hand through his hair and then stood back up. "I'm gonna go put clean sheets on my bed. I'll let Y/N take it tonight so that we can keep talking out here when she goes to sleep."

"Good idea."

A few minutes later, Jay was back on the couch next to Will and you walked out of the bathroom, wearing a baggy t-shirt and some sweatpants that you had to keep pulling up because they were too big on you now, and a pair of fuzzy socks. You were cold all the time now and wanted your hoodie out of your duffle and wanted to put your dirty clothes in there, but when you looked down to the spot where you thought you had put it, it wasn't there.

"Guys?" you asked. "Have you seen my bag?"

You walked over to the kitchen table where your blanket was sitting on the chairs and wrapped that around yourself instead.

You furrowed your eyebrows as you saw your brothers on the couch, your duffle bag in front of them on the floor, and on top, your bag of ripped-up, old underwear that you used as pads when you didn't have any.

"You went through my stuff?" you asked, starting to become angry.

"Y/N," Jay started, "I know you're mad and it was me who went through it and not Will, so don't be mad at him, be mad at me. But, I went through it to see if anything was in there that could help me get you out of dad's house. Permanently."

"You- You want to have custody of me?" you asked.

A small smile appeared on Jay's lips and he nodded. "It wouldn't be considered custody because I'm not your biological parent, it would be considered guardianship, but yes, I want you to stay with me. And, my loan went through for a new apartment, so you'd have your own room and everything."

"Okay."

Jay looked at Will, not wanting to be the one to start this conversation. And, he figured Will would be the best one to start it because he was a doctor.

"Y/N, we need to ask you about these." Will motioned to the zip-lock bag on top of your stuff.

You sat in the loveseat across from them and looked down at your feet.

"It's okay, you're not in trouble," Will continued. "We just want to know how you used them in case you need to get a pelvic exam to check for infections in that area."

Your lip began to tremble as tears started to roll down your cheeks. "I used them as pads," you said quietly. "Dad wouldn't buy me any and I stopped getting them from school because I thought they'd suspect something was wrong if I- if I kept taking them."

"One more question," Will said softly. "I just need to know in case we need to take you in for this. I know you said you used them as pads, but did you ever try and use them as tampons?"

"No. I only used them as pads," you whispered. "I was scared to use them as tampons." You looked up at your brothers, who both had tears in their eyes. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," you rushed. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner I was just--" You let out a wail and Jay got up and knelt in front of you.

"Hey, hey, none of this is your fault. Do you hear me? Absolutely none of this is on you. It's all on Dad. Every single bit of it. You are not the one to blame."

You launched yourself into his arms, crying out every emotion you had felt these past few months: anger, frustration, fear, sadness, it was all coming out now.

And, Jay just held you and let you cry it out because that was what your guys' mom used to do for him. And, he knew it worked.

Twenty minutes later, your wails were just quiet whimpers and you pushed yourself back up onto the loveseat, where Will had moved to the spot next to you. He wrapped an arm around you and you leaned into him, craving the comfort that had been denied to you for so long.

"You still have that Twix bar?" you asked.

"All that crying made you hungry, didn't it, Short Stack?" Will asked as Jay got up to retrieve the candy bar from the table.

You nodded.

"Thank you," you said when Jay handed you the Twix bar. You unwrapped it and broke it into the two sticks. "You guys want any?" They both shook their heads: they knew you needed to get as many calories in you as possible.

Jay sighed, he might as well get this hard conversation over with you tonight as well. "Y/N, you can eat as much as you want. I won't say anything about you eating too much, okay?"

You looked up from your candy bar. "You won't call me a burden because I'm eating your food? Like Dad did?"

"He said that?" Will asked, giving Jay a look that read when I see him next, I can't be held accountable for my actions.

"Yeah. One time there were some leftovers he had gotten from a bar and I was so hungry and it was the middle of the night, so I took them out and heated them up. The microwave timer must've woken him up because he came out just as I was about to start eating and then he yelled at me for eating his food and called me a burden."

"Well, we don't think that. Neither Will nor me think that," Jay told you. "And you can eat as much as you want."

You yawned as you crumpled up your Twix wrapper.

"Tired?" Will asked.

"Yeah," you mumbled.

"It's been a long day," Jay said. "You can take my bed."

"Jay, it's your apartment, I can't--"

"Y/N, this isn't up for discussion. I already put clean sheets on the bed for you."

"Is- Is there a fan in your room? I can't sleep without white noise."

"There is. You want me and Will to tuck you in?"

"I'm too old for that." You stood up and Will did, too. "Jay, can you hand me Beary? He should be in my duffle."

"Here you go, kid."

You took your bear and held him loosely in your arm. Then, you enveloped Jay in a hug and did the same for Will.

"I love you guys."

"We love you, too," Will said.

"Now get to sleep. You've still got school in the morning. I'll be here when you wake up."

"Dad sometimes wouldn't be home when I woke up for school. He'd be at a friend's house sleeping off a hangover from the night before or just sleeping."

Jay furrowed his eyebrows. "Doesn't he have to work?"

"He does work, but only a few days a week. The other days, he stays out really late and then comes home either drunk or hungover."

"I see," Jay stated. "Well I won't be doing that, I can promise you that."

"I know. You aren't like Dad. Neither of you are." You yawned again. "I'm going to bed, goodnight."

A few minutes later, you were out like a light and Will was still at Jay's apartment.

"So, Abby called me the other day," Will started. "She's looking for you. Says she's in town for a few days and wants to meet up."

"Oh yeah? She say why?" Jay asked, wondering why his ex-wife--who was the result of a blackout drunk wedding in Vegas, a thing that lasted only 24 hours tops--was in Chicago and was looking for him of all people.

"She said you two are still married."

Jay threw his head back against the couch and closed his eyes. "You have got to be fucking kidding me."

***

"Morning," Jay said as he stood at the stove flipping some eggs. "Sleep good?"

"I slept really good. Didn't even hear you wake up."

"Fan did the trick then?"

You nodded and grabbed a mug from the cupboard and went to start pouring yourself a cup of coffee.

"Nuh-uh," Jay chirped, putting his hand on the handle of the coffee pot as well.

"Why not? I drank it at Dad's."

Jay raised an eyebrow. "You drank coffee at Dad's?"

"Yeah, on the weekends sometimes that would be my breakfast because it curbs my appetite and there wasn't a lot to eat."

Jay sighed. "Well, you'll have enough to eat here, I can promise you that. And, coffee stunts your growth."

"Jay," you groaned. "I haven't grown since sixth grade."

"Okay, well, then you don't want to become dependent on it at such an early age, then. Come talk to me when you're a legal adult or in college."

"Fine." You let go of the coffee pot and put the mug back in the cupboard.

"You can have juice though." The toast in the toaster popped up and Jay placed the toast on a plate and then put a slice of cheese on each piece and then an egg on top. He also put a small bowl of strawberries next to it. "I'm gonna go get dressed while you eat. And then, once you're ready, I'll take you to school."

"Okay, thanks, Jay."

"You're welcome, kiddo."

You rolled your eyes at the nickname and then went to the fridge to get the apple juice. When you opened the fridge, you saw a brown paper bag with your name on it. Curiosity got the best of you, so you took it out and looked at the contents while you ate your breakfast.

Inside was a ham and Colby jack cheese sandwich with lettuce, pickles, mustard, and mayonnaise, an apple, a coconut-flavored Greek yogurt, celery with peanut butter, and a chocolate chip granola bar. There were also two dollars at the bottom of the bag paperclipped together with a sticky note stuck to the top.

For chocolate milk. ~Jay was what the note read.

Tears sprung to your eyes as you continued to eat your breakfast. You don't remember the last time you brought a lunch to school; you'd always get your lunch for free at school. When you got the paper from school about the free/reduced lunch because teachers noticed you didn't have much to eat, you waited until your dad was hungover and it was early in the morning, and handed him a pen and he signed the paper blindly. And, that's how you got lunch and breakfast at school without any cost to you or your dad.

"Hey, I can just brush my teeth at the kitchen sink if you want the bathroom--" He cut himself off when he saw the tears in your eyes. "What's wrong?"

"You- You made me lunch?" you asked as you turned to face him.

He smiled. "Of course I did. I know how bad cafeteria food can be. And, if it tastes good, it's usually not very good for you."

"Thank you," you said as you wiped a tear away that had rolled down your cheek.

"Aww, hey, don't cry, don't cry. It's okay. You're safe now. You don't need to worry about where your next meal will come from. And, I'm going to petition a judge for legal guardianship in a few days. I just have to have a few conversations with some lawyers."

"Does this mean you have to move? I don't want to kick you out of your apartment."

Jay dismissed that with a wave. "I already put in a loan application for a new apartment. Two bedrooms. Really nice."

"Can you tell me about it? While I finish eating my strawberries."

Jay nodded and sat down in the chair across from you. "It's a two-bedroom, washer, dryer. But, I know you don't care about those things. There's underground parking. It's got a gym, a whole club level, with like a coffee lounge, and all this other stuff."

"That sounds really nice."

"Yeah, it is a pretty nice building. Coffee lounge would be perfect for you to get your homework done if you don't feel like staying in the apartment."

"I thought you said I couldn't drink coffee?" you asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I meant the caffeine in the coffee. Decaf coffee and lattes and tea lattes, that's a different story. I'm sure they have pastries there, too."

"Never pegged you for a coffee snob," you joked.

"You learn a lot about coffee and about a person when you have to get your entire unit coffee. I'll let you in on a little secret: Ruzek's coffee order is the most complicated."

"Really?"

"Really. Now, go finish getting ready. Don't want you being late for school."

***

"Hey, Er, can you meet me at the diner we usually go to?" Jay asked his girlfriend over the phone after he had dropped you off at school.

"Yeah, no problem. Give me fifteen minutes. We haven't caught a case yet, but we should keep our radios on just in case. Everything okay?"

"It's a long story. I'll explain everything in person, okay?"

"Okay," Erin answered skeptically. "I'll see you in a few."

Fifteen minutes later on the dot, Erin walked into the little diner and spotted Jay sitting in the corner booth.

"Alright, what's going on?" she asked after she had ordered her food and some coffee. "You sounded really stressed on the phone."

Jay sighed. "I'm going to fight for legal guardianship of Y/N."

"What? Why? What happened?" Erin asked as she widened her eyes.

"Our dad, he uh, he hasn't really been the greatest. Not keeping food in the house, calling her a burden when she tries to eat some of his food, not buying her products for you know...girl stuff. She's probably lost like 25 pounds since the end of last school year. And, I know that doesn't sound like a lot with the amount of time that's passed, but she's underweight. Will drew some of her blood last night to see if she's deficient in some vitamins or minerals."

"My God."

"Yeah, so, I know we were going to move into your place together, but I need another bedroom and my loan went through at that place I told you about, so I'm going to put an offer in there. You could always move in with me if you want, but I don't know if it would be a good idea for that to happen right away. I just want to get Y/N healthy again. I'm sorry."

"Jay, I get it. She's family. Do you know how you're going to go about this? Did you talk to Voight about taking any time off to sort this out?"

"Not yet. But, I think I'm going to call Antonio and see if he can help me out with getting a meeting with ASA Stone. I know he works criminal cases, but he's gotta know some stuff about family court cases. So, I figured he might be able to help me with this whole process."

"Good idea. If you need any help, just say the word and I'll be there."

Jay smiled. "Thanks, Er." He didn't want to have the conversation he was about to have, but he knew he had to tell her. "There's uh, there's one more thing I need to tell you."

"Okay, what is it?"

"About eight years ago, I was married."

"Excuse me, what? You were married and you didn't tell me?"

Jay knew this was a bad idea...which was why he hadn't wanted to tell Erin, but now that he wasn't officially divorced for whatever reason, he knew needed to tell her. "Just let me explain."

"Yes, please do," Erin sneered.

"Her name's Abby. She ran Cultural Support during my last tour in Kandahar. About a year after I came home, I saw her at a funeral in Vegas. Was... was a guy in our unit, he had redeployed, and, um, he didn't... Um, I was, like, blacking out most nights, and we were both pretty shook up. And, um, we got married." He chuckled at the thought of his twenty-one-year-old self thinking that marriage was a good idea. "It was, like, a 24-hour thing, it was a total joke, and it is long over."

Erin just stared at him, as he waited to be chewed out by her. "Jay, you married this girl. And you never told me, and you were never gonna tell me," was all she said.

"I know. And, I'm sorry. But, I'm meeting up with her in a few days to sign the documents that I thought I'd signed because she's getting married and we need to make the divorce official...even though, in my mind, it's been official for eight years.

"Er, please don't hate me, but with everything going on, with me trying to get guardianship of Y/N and me finding out that I'm somehow still married--"

"You want us to take a break?" Erin asked, finishing his sentence for him.

Jay nodded. "I'm sorry. I just don't think I can juggle a relationship with all this other stuff. And, it's not fair to you."

Erin swallowed. "Well, just tell me if you need any help with Y/N. I'll always be there for you. Relationship or partnership, I'll always have your six."

"And I'll always have yours."

Erin's phone buzzed on the table and she picked it up. "It's Voight. We caught a case."

Jay laid some bills on the table. "Then let's go."

***

"Got the results of Y/N's bloodwork back," Will told Jay over the phone while he had a quick break for lunch...even though it was four o'clock in the afternoon. But, that's the thing about the medical field: breaks are never regular.

"And? Any deficiencies?" Jay asked, walking into his bedroom as you were at the table doing homework and he didn't want to distract you.

"Yes, two actually. Iron and riboflavin. The low iron explains why her periods have become shorter and lighter, but that can also be attributed to how small she is now."

"How do we go about this then?"

"I'll send you a list of foods that have levels high iron and riboflavin. Oh, riboflavin's found in vitamin B by the way."

"Okay, care to tell me what iron and riboflavin do? I know iron helps with hemoglobin and red blood cells, but I have no idea what riboflavin does."

"You're right about iron. I'm shocked. Or, what do the kids say these days? I'm shook."

"I swear to God, please never use that phrase again. And, I know what iron does because I paid attention in high school nutrition class, thank you very much."

"If I remember correctly, I helped you with most of the homework in that class."

"Whatever, you helped me. Now, tell me about riboflavin."

"So, riboflavin just helps convert food into energy and is needed for healthy skin, hair, blood, and a healthy brain." Jay could hear a beeping in the background on Will's end. "Gotta go. I'll send you that list of foods right now, though."

"Thanks, man."

You looked up as Jay came back into the kitchen. "Everything okay?" you asked.

Jay pulled out a chair and sat across from you. "So, I just got off the phone with Will. He got the results from your bloodwork back."

"Is it bad? Am I dying?" You set your pencil down, bracing yourself for bad news.

"No," Jay chuckled, "you're not dying. You just don't have enough iron and riboflavin, which is a specific B vitamin. Will sent me a list of foods that have high levels of those in them. You up for some grocery shopping? We can also grab some multivitamins that have those in them, too, just to help your levels stabilize faster."

"Okay, we can go now. I'm due for a break."

***

"So, some foods that contain riboflavin include milk, eggs, cheese, yogurt, meats, green leafy vegetables, and riboflavin enriched grains and cereals," Jay read off his phone.

"I've had a lot of those today already," you pointed out. "Eggs and cheese with breakfast. I had that yogurt for a snack at school, and I had meat and cheese on my sandwich and I had chocolate milk with my lunch at school."

That was just standard, Jay thought. He wondered what you ate when you were at your Dad's. And, he knew that if he wanted to obtain guardianship of you, he'd need to know these things.

"What did you eat at Dad's?" Jay probed.

"I mean, I barely made it to school on time most mornings because I was trying to be quiet so I didn't wake Dad, which made me move slower when getting ready. So, I'd usually just grab a small thing of dry cereal when I got to school and eat it in my first class. I never checked to see if it was one of the enriched ones. I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize. There's no way you could've known. Now, what did you usually have for lunch at school?"

"I always tried to get veggies with my lunch, but most of the veggies were the gross canned ones, like canned corn or green beans. I don't like those. Sometimes, they'd have little salads as a side and I'd get those. Sometimes they'd have yogurt parfaits and I'd get those. But, I'd usually go for the pre-made subs, because at least those would have veggies on them...even if it was just lettuce and pickles. I'd usually try to get an apple or banana as my side, too." You paused. "If I was getting meat and cheese from the sub and milk from my chocolate milk, then how am I deficient in this?"

"It's probably because the meat and cheese schools use is so heavily processed that there are little to no vitamins left in it," Jay answered.

"And you know this how?"

"As you get older, you acquire a lot of knowledge and one of those things is that the more processed a food is, the fewer vitamins and minerals are preserved...and I watch a lot of The Food that Built America on the History channel."

"Oh, okay. What foods are on that show?"

"Usually it's about fast food. One episode I watched last week was about ice cream and popsicles and how they came to be in America. Pretty interesting."

"Can we watch an episode tonight? That show sounds good."

"Of course." He paused in front of the fresh produce. "Take your pick. But, just make sure you get some leafy greens for the riboflavin and some fruit and other green veggies for iron."

You picked up a few things such as more apples, a bag of Clementines, bananas, spinach, carrots, and celery, and then, you shocked your brother as you picked up a bag of kale.

"Kale?" he asked. "Didn't know you liked it."

You shrugged. "I heard it tastes kind of like spinach. And, I saw a recipe on Pinterest for a salad that has kale, lemon juice, and dates. Is it okay if we try that?"

"You know, I think that would be the perfect side for dinner tonight. I'll add lemon juice and dates to the list."

"I didn't grab too many fruits and veggies, right?" you asked, not wanting to waste food or your brother's hard-earned money. "I- I can put some back if you want me to."

"Nope, it's all good. We can always freeze the bananas if they go bad for smoothies or banana bread. And, we can always turn the apples into apple sauce. Spinach and kale freeze well, too and you can't even taste them if we put them in smoothies."

"How do you know this stuff?" you asked.

"I used to watch Mom cook a lot when I was little. And, when I moved out on my own, she gave me a copy of a cookbook she always used. Said the recipes at the beginning of the book were simple enough that I wouldn't burn my apartment down."

You laughed at the thought of your mom scolding Jay if his apartment got ruined from his cooking. "Do you still have it?" you asked. "The cookbook, I mean."

"I do."

"Can we make something out of it tonight?"

"You know, I think that's a great idea." He pursed his lips. "How about Mom's chicken pot pie? I think I have some frozen peas and corn in the freezer and we can use the carrots we just grabbed in it, too."

"That sounds really good. Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me." Jay paused. He figured now would be as good a time as any to tell you. "Uh, do you remember the day that we got ice cream and went and played soccer with Ben when you were little? The night that Mom went into the hospital?"

You nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat at the memory of that day.

"Well, she told me to take care of you. There's no way I would break a promise to Mom."

"She said that?"

"Mhmm."

"It's like she knew something was going to happen."

"Mom was a smart lady. Will had to have gotten it from somewhere and he sure didn't get it from Dad."

You laughed. "Hey, you're smart, too. Just not sciency smart. You're more puzzle smart because you put the pieces together of who committed a crime." Jay laughed at your description of his job. "Oh, is the recipe for Mom's garlic mashed potatoes in that cookbook?"

"It is. Want those as a side along with the salad you mentioned?"

"Yes, please...if it's not a problem."

"They're super simple and quick to make." He scribbled on a piece of notebook paper that he had written down a few groceries on, like the salad ingredients you had mentioned. "Alright, potatoes, a rotisserie chicken, and pastry dough have all been added to the list."

***

"I'll be back later tonight, no later than midnight," Jay told you two days later on Sunday night. "I know it's not ideal because you have school in the morning, but try and get some sleep while I'm gone, okay?"

"I'm used to being home alone at night, Jay." You shrugged. "I'll be fine."

"I know, it's just that not something I want you to get used to. Feel free to eat anything you want, cook anything you want. As long as you don't burn down the house, I don't care what you make. Oh, and remember to take your multivitamin before bed."

You rolled your eyes. "I'm fifteen, not five. Now, get going. Don't want you to be late to meet that lawyer."

"Love you. I'll be back by midnight. Lock the door behind me."

"I will. Love you, too."

With that, Jay left his apartment to go meet with ASA Stone and you locked the door behind him as he told you.

***

"So, Antonio told me you have some custody questions," Peter Stone said once he closed the door of his office.

"That's right," Jay replied as he took a seat in front of Stone's desk and turned his phone completely off and Stone took a seat in his chair behind his desk.

"Didn't know you had a kid, Halstead."

"No, I don't actually," Jay chuckled. "I have a kid sister. Name's Y/N and she's fifteen."

"Okay, and why do you want guardianship then?"

"When me and Will, my older brother, were kids, our dad kinda checked out on parenting us when we hit our mid-teens. But, we had our mom around, so it was okay. I went over there the other day because my dad was having some heart issues and I called Will. When I was there, I got a call of a robbery and it was Y/N. She was stealing food from a corner store because our dad wasn't feeding her," Jay explained.

"I see. So, other than her word and her stealing food, do you have any proof of this?"

"I know I should've called DCFS before letting her stay with me, but I couldn't let her stay there a minute longer, Peter. She's lost like 25 pounds in the past six months and she's deficient in both iron and vitamin B."

"Okay, what we have to do is petition for guardianship in front of a judge. I can help you with the documents and I can even represent you at the hearing if you want."

"Wow, yeah, that'd be great. Thank you."

"Anything else you want to tell me about your dad? Any physical or emotional abuse?"

"Not technically, but there is something else." And then Jay launched into all the information you had told him two days ago.

"Okay. And, you know your dad could theoretically press kidnapping charges against you because you took his kid without his permission?"

"I do. But he was basically starving her. No jury would find me guilty."

"I'm not going to argue with you about that one because I agree with you."

"So, do you think I have a chance of getting guardianship over Y/N?"

"In theory, yes. But, most judges like to keep the child with their biological parents. But, seeing as Y/N's fifteen, she does get some say in who she stays with," Stone explained. "When we have a custody or guardianship battle, we use the child's best interest standard. This means that you must prove that you are capable of providing food, clothing, housing, medical care, and a stable home life for Y/N. There will be one or two home visits before appearing before a judge, just to let you know."

"I'm aware of that. And, I just put an offer in on a new apartment with two bedrooms this morning and they're pretty quick in responding, so I should know in the next few days whether or not I got it."

"That's a good start. And you are financially stable to raise her until she turns eighteen, so three more years?"

"I am."

"Alright, let's start on those documents then. Unless you have any more questions for me?"

"I do actually. I, uh, I just found out that I'm technically still married. Something about me not signing the divorce papers even though I specifically remember signing them? And, before you ask, me and this girl served together, we were both twenty-one, going through rough patches and it was a Vegas wedding eight years ago. Lasted no more than twenty-four hours."

"It's really good that you told me this because any good lawyer would find that out when you file for guardianship. It's possible that she didn't co-sign the divorce papers. If that's the reason, I can help you draw up new divorce papers right now."

"Really? You'd help me with that?"

"Of course. A friend of Antonio's is a friend of mine," Stone said as he started typing on his computer. "So, what you can do is you can file for a no-fault divorce."

"You're gonna have to be specific, Stone. I know a bit of criminal law because I've had to testify in criminal cases, but like I said, I don't know family or civil law," Jay said.

"What a no-fault divorce is, Jay, is that you don't have to prove that either of you did anything wrong to get a divorce. All you have to do is state that your marriage is unsalvageable and continue filing for divorce."

"That's it? What if she doesn't sign it?"

"The divorce papers will be served to, uh...what's this girl's name again?" Stone asked.

"Abby."

"Abby. The divorce papers will be served to Abby and she has twenty days to file her response with the court. If she doesn't, then the court rules it as an uncontested divorce and then you're officially divorced."

"Me and Abby are meeting up to talk about all this tonight. But, can we just fill out paperwork for this no-fault divorce just in case things don't go as planned? I just really need to get guardianship of Y/N. The least amount of problems, the better."

"Of course. And if everything goes well with her tonight, then just give me a call and I'll shred the documents."

"Alright, just tell me where to sign."

***

"Wilson is running through the showers wearing nothing but a Kevlar vest, right?" Jay reminisced on the good parts of his Ranger days with Abby at a bar around 8:30 that night after his meeting with Peter Stone.

"Well, the lieutenant said, all outdoor activities to be conducted in body armor." Jay laughed at Abby's rendition of their lieutenant's voice. "Do you remember, he had his girlfriend's name tattooed on his ass?"

Jay set his empty drink down on the bar. "Did he tell you that was his girlfriend? That was his dog's name," Jay laughed.

"That actually makes more sense," Abby said. "I could go for another one of these."

"I, um, I shouldn't."

"Gotta get back to the barracks?"

"No, I uh gotta get back to my little sister, actually. I'm looking after her at the moment. It's a long story. Do you have the papers?"

"I, uh, I don't have them."

"Abby."

"It's just, I never told you. Even that crazy day we got married, I never told you that I loved you, Jay. It didn't feel right. But, I loved you, Jay. I do love you."

Jay sighed. "Abby, you deserve everything good. I'm just not the guy that's gonna give that to you." He brushed her hair to the side and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

After putting some money on the bar to pay for the drinks and tip the bartender, he left the bar. Guess he was going to need these no-fault divorce documents, anyway.

He was almost to his car when he heard someone calling his name. And, it was a voice he knew all too well.

"Erin?" he shouted as she came closer. "What are you doing here?"

"Would it kill you to turn on your phone? You need to get to the district. Now."

"What? Why? What's wrong?"

She got in his passenger seat. "Just drive. I'll explain on the way."

***

You were sitting on Jay's bed reading a book when you heard a knock on the door.

Slowly, you got off his bed and made your way out of his room. You took a knife out of the knife block, but you hoped you wouldn't need to use it. Jay would've told you if someone was planning on stopping over. And, if it was Will, he would've given you a heads-up.

The knocking got louder and more aggressive. "Jayson! Open this door! I have the right to see my daughter!"

Dad.

With the knife still in hand, you backed up and then, once on the carpet, ran back into Jay's room and quietly shut the door and locked it. You pulled out your phone and tried Jay. It went straight to voicemail. The pounding was getting louder. You tried Will. It went straight to voicemail because he was on shift. You thought you heard your dad starting to kick the door now instead of just pounding on it with his fists. You tried the last person you thought could help.

"Y/N?" Erin asked as she answered her phone and paused the tv show she was watching.

"Erin," you whispered. "I'm scared. I need help."

"You need help? Can you tell me why?"

"My dad, he's- he's here. He's looking for me." You heard a crash.

"Jay? Y/N? I know one of you is in here!"

"I- I think he just broke down the apartment door. Please help."

"Okay, okay, here's what you're going to do. I want you to hide somewhere and I'm going to call a patrol car over there right now. You're going to turn your phone on silent and I'm going to call you right back," she told you.

"Okay," you whispered as quietly as you could.

"I'll call you back in one minute tops."

You moved as quietly as you could with the knife and your phone still in your hands and opened Jay's closet door. You buried yourself behind the two garment bags that contained Jay's police blues and his military dress uniform, hoping against hope that your dad wouldn't find you.

Your phone lit up and it was Erin. You answered.

"Y/N, the officers will be there soon. I don't want you to talk. Just know that I'm on the phone with you."

At the same time, as she was talking to you over speakerphone, she was texting the team. She assumed you couldn't reach Jay or Will since you had called her. She told them what was happening and that a few of them needed to get to the district because they needed to find Jay's location. She also told Voight to get ahold of Sharon Goodwin so she could notify Will of what was currently happening.

"Chicago PD! Put your hands where we can see them!" you heard from your hiding place.

"See?" Erin said. "I told you that you'd be okay. I told them that you were hiding, so if someone opens the door, it's just an officer."

Just after she said that the closet door opened.

You squeaked.

"It's okay. You're safe," the officer said. "We're just going to take you down to the district. You're safe."

You peeked out from your hiding place and you saw the blues of the officers. You slowly made your way out and followed the officer out to the patrol car, the one that didn't house your dad for a breaking and entering charge at the moment.

***

"Where is she?" Jay yelled as he entered the district.

Platt just pointed to the bench next to one of the offices where you were sitting, staring at the floor, with a police jacket draped over your shoulders.

He sunk to his knees in front of you. "Are you hurt? Did Dad hurt you? Did he put his hands on you in any way?"

You shook your head.

"Oh thank God."

"I was so scared," you whispered. "When you and Will didn't answer, I thought he was gonna get me."

"I'm sorry. I turned off my phone when I talked to ASA Stone, and I forgot to turn it back on. I'm so sorry. C'mere."

You all but fell off the bench and into Jay's arms. "Is he going to jail? I don't want him going to jail."

"He was drunk out of his mind. I can ask not to press charges, though."

"Please. He needs help."

Although Jay didn't say it, he knew you were right. Jails and prisons didn't rehabilitate, they just taught criminals how to be better criminals. He knew that his dad needed rehab, a twelve-step program, anything.

"Okay, I won't press charges. But, I think we're gonna need to stay with Will for the night because our door's broken. What do you say we run home and grab some clothes to bring to Will's? And, since Dad will be here for a little longer, we can run to his house and get more of your stuff. Sound like a plan?"

"Can we get Dairy Queen on the way to Will's?"

"We sure can."

***

"I- I don't think any of these dresses will fit me anymore. They look way too big," you said to Jay as the two of you unpacked a bunch of your stuff in the guest room of Jay's new apartment. You wanted to think of it as the guest room for now instead of calling it your room just in case Jay wasn't awarded guardianship. You didn't want to get too attached.

Jay sighed. He figured you were right. He would see if Erin could take you, but their relationship was on the backburner right now. And, Erin had some stuff with Bunny she had to work out after she had brought her that pearl bracelet and said that she might be leaving Chicago. So, now wasn't really the right time for him to be bugging Erin about going shopping with you. And, he couldn't ask Kim because she was taking some furlough after finding her sister brutally sodomized after a night out.

He thought about asking Will if Nina could come, but he didn't think that those two were too happy with each other at the moment since Will hadn't told Nina about their dad being in the hospital and she had to find out from Natalie. Not Will's greatest moment.

He racked his brain for more women he knew.

Then it hit him: Gabby.

Yes, they had briefly dated, but that was five years ago. She was married now and his feelings for her were completely gone. They were civil with each other when they saw each other in the field and would chat when Gabby showed up at the district to pick up Eva or Diego.

"How about you try a few on after we finish unpacking, and then if none of them really fit, I can give Gabby a call and see if she'll take you shopping while I work on unpacking the rest of the house," Jay suggested.

"Okay. Will's gonna be over after his shift to help though, right?" you asked.

"He better be. He said he would. If he doesn't come, he better have a really good excuse."

"You can't unpack the kitchen without me," you told him.

"Why not?"

"I can't have you putting the glasses and other stuff on high shelves because I wanna reach them without having to climb on the counter."

"Okay, fine. I'll keep your short little height in mind while I unpack." He paused. "Do you want to get those fancy word stickers for your room for one of the walls?"

"Decals? And, it's not my room yet."

"Listen, after that stunt Dad pulled at my old apartment, Stone is 99.9% positive that I'll be granted guardianship. We just have to jump through all the hoops first."

"Like the home checks?"

"Like the home checks," he confirmed.

"What do I say in court?" you asked a few minutes later as you were putting the pillows on your freshly made bed.

"You just tell the truth," he answered.

"Will you be in there with me?"

"No, I won't. Stone said that usually in these cases you talk to the judge by yourself so that you can't be intimidated by either of the people who are fighting for custody or guardianship."

"So you won't be there? Will won't be there?"

"Will will be out in the hall and I will be in a different room. I'll be in like a witness room, where they make witnesses of a crime wait so that their testimony isn't swayed by what the other people are saying on the stand. But, me and Dad will be in the courtroom at the same time, just so I can see what he'll be saying."

"And, I'll be in there then, too?"

"Yes."

"What kind of questions do they ask me?"

"Stone said that since you're older, you get a say in who you stay with, so they'll ask you questions like who've you known the longest, who you feel safest with, who you want to live with, etc."

"Will they ask me questions about Dad? Like how he didn't give me food and how he broke into your apartment?" you asked.

"They will," Jay confirmed. "But, Stone will be in there for those questions just in case he needs to object to something."

"So the only time I'll be alone with the judge is when they're asking me the first few questions? Like who I feel safest with?"

"Exactly. Now, do you need help putting these books on the top shelf of your bookshelf?"

***

"Hey, how was your day?" Jay asked as he came home from work that afternoon. It was a shock that he was home by 5 pm, but you had a big day tomorrow. Not only was tomorrow Friday, it was the day you and Jay had to go to court to see if he would be awarded guardianship of you.

"We've got a problem," you stated.

"Um, I can try to help you with it, but let me go put my gun away first."

While he was doing that, you pulled out the slip of paper and the note that Gretchen Cunningham had written, saying that she wouldn't allow you to make up the test you would be missing because you had to go to court.

"Alright, what's the problem?" Jay asked as he walked into the kitchen.

"Cunningham. She's the problem...as always."

You handed him the papers and he read them over. "Yeah, this isn't going to fly. She doesn't need a judge's signature to allow you to take the test. I'll talk to the school tomorrow morning when I call to tell them you'll be absent."

"I hate her," you groaned. "She's so mean. And, I know what you're gonna say. You have to deal with people you don't like. But, she lost one of my assignments and told me I didn't turn it in and couldn't re-do it!"

"Well did you?" Jay asked. "Turn it in, I mean."

"Jay!"

He put his hands up in a sign of surrender. "I'm just saying, could be your fault."

"Yes, I turned in the stupid assignment. And, she paired me up with the stupidest kid in the class and told me to do well on this assignment because he needed a good grade to pass. It's not my fault he's failing! Don't put his grade on me, lady!"

"And she wouldn't let you re-do it?"

"Nope. But it's fine. I'm still getting an A. That might change if she doesn't let me take this test, though."

"It's like deja-vu from my freshman year all over again. Why doesn't she retire already? She's like 100."

"Or they could fire her," you quipped. "Or I could switch classes."

"I'll see what I can do. Who's the other history teacher?"

"Um, Miss Hedge."

"Hedge? As in Jayne Hedge?"

"Yeah, it's actually her. Why? Do you know her?"

"Yes he does," Will said as he entered Jay's apartment. "In fact, they went to freshman snowcoming together."

"How did you even get in here?" Jay asked, turning around to look at his older brother.

"For a cop, you're not that smart. You didn't lock the door behind you."

"I don't lock my door when I'm still awake. And, seriously? You just had to tell Y/N that, didn't you?"

"You guys can't just leave me hanging now. Tell me the story!"

"Fine," Jay grumbled and Will just laughed and sat down at the table, too. "I met her at school, obviously. She was on the freshman basketball team and I had winter weight training for the soccer team. I thought she was pretty and she was really smart, too. And, I knew that a bunch of the girls went to get Taco Bell after practice, so me and some of my friends decided to go, too."

"There used to be a Taco Bell close to school?" you asked. If there was, you'd never seen it before.

"It got torn down just after I graduated," Jay answered. "Anyway, we went to Taco Bell and I started talking to her and we talked a lot after practice. I'd walk her home sometimes. Then, I asked her to snowcoming and she said yes."

"So, why'd you guys break up? I know you dated Allie in high school."

"We realized we were better off as friends." Jay shrugged.

"And he realized he liked Allie more," Will added.

"Yeah, that too."

Will set a big bag of takeout on the table.

"Seriously?" Jay asked. "I thought we weren't going to do this that much anymore so we can get Y/N's vitamin and mineral levels stabilized."

"I'm sure she'd appreciate the break from your mundane meals," Will said. "And, I got us all side salads to go with the burgers instead of fries, so calm down." Jay gave him a look. "Fine, I got the side salads along with the fries. But, they're made out of potatoes, so they're technically a vegetable."

"For a doctor, you don't know much about nutrition, do you? And, my meals are not mundane."

"Dude, you'd have chicken, spaghetti, or grilled cheese every night."

"Not every night, just a lot of nights when I'd get home from the district late. I'll have you know me and Y/N have been making really good diners lately. Wanna tell Will what we made last night for dinner, Short Stack?"

"We made this really good pasta. We used Orzo, which looks like rice, but it's pasta. And we made a sauce out of tomatoes, onions, and orange juice. It was supposed to be lemon juice, but Jay didn't have any. We put chicken sausage in it for protein...and spices of course," you told Will.

"That actually sounds really good. Wow, Jay cooking every night, not something I expected."

"I like it," you said. "And, he lets me play whatever music I want when we cook."

Will rolled his eyes. You had Jay so wrapped around your finger that he'd do almost anything for you. Will didn't think he himself was that bad, but deep down, he knew he'd do anything for you, too...despite not being in Chicago as long as Jay had been.

***

"So I got a call from Stone this morning," Jay said around 11:30 that night when he and Will were sitting on the couch, each nursing a beer.

Will set his beer down on the coffee table in front of him. "And?"

"And, as of yesterday at midnight, I am officially divorced from Abby. Turns out, they served her the papers and, since she didn't sign them and it had been twenty days, it turned into an uncontested, no-fault divorce."

"Congrats, man. Might've been eight years too late, but you're a free man now."

"Amen to that. And it came at just the right time."

"Yeah," Will agreed. "You nervous for tomorrow?"

"Not really. More nervous for Y/N than anything. I've testified in criminal cases, so I kinda know how this goes, but she hasn't. And, before me and Dad go in to plead our cases, she has to talk to the judge all by herself. I just wish one of us could be in there with her."

Will nodded. "Know what they're going to ask you?"

"I know what Stone's going to ask me because we prepped, but I have no idea what Dad's lawyer is going to ask me. Pretty sure he's got just a public defender, though. Hopefully, that works in my favor."

"Not always, man," Will disagreed. "The public defenders who do these cases only do these cases. They've had a lot of practice."

"You really know how to make me feel better, thanks," Jay replied sarcastically.

"Rather have you hear it from me before the case than someone else after. Are you going to get cross-examined?"

"Probably. Don't know what they're going to ask me though because it's a cross. Stone set up some sample questions for me to answer with him to practice, but I'm going in blind. I'm used to it though because I've testified before. But, this feels like my biggest case."

"Because it probably is."

"Are you talking about tomorrow?" you asked as you quietly padded across the floor towards the living room.

"Y/N? What are you doing up? It's almost midnight," Jay pointed out.

"I- I know. But I couldn't sleep. I'm scared. What if I have to go back to Dad's? What if they find neither of you fit and I have to go into foster care?"

Jay patted the empty spot on the couch next to him and you sat down. "We just have to trust the system. That's all we can do."

"I know, but I can't sleep. And I'm so tired."

"I have an idea," Jay started and stood up, "stay here."

"I'm gonna go look for some melatonin," Will said after a few minutes of you two just sitting in silence. "I think Jay still has some for nights that he can't sleep."

Will was still rummaging around Jay's cabinets when Jay came back with a big black box with some cords and a cardboard box balanced against his hip.

"The hell is that?" You quickly covered your mouth when you realized you had sworn. "Sorry."

"It's okay. And, to answer your question, this is VCR. And, I have a bunch of videotapes in this box." He turned from you to face the kitchen, where Will was still opening and closing cabinets. "Will? What are you doing?"

"Looking for melatonin for Y/N. You got any?"

"First of all, it's so late that if you give it to her now, she'll sleep through her alarm and we can't be late for court tomorrow. And, second of all, I keep it in the medicine cabinet in my bathroom."

Will closed the cabinet and made his way back to the couch to sit next to you as Jay started to hook up the VCR to the tv. "Uh, Jay," Will began, "you know it's a little late for a movie right? And, I should get going in like half an hour?"

"We're not watching a movie. I recorded a bunch of the Blackhawks playoff games on one of these and I thought Y/N'd like to watch the 2010 Stanely Cup final series against the Flyers. Or, we could watch the final series against the Bruins when they won the cup last year."

"Let's watch the 2010 one," you said. "I don't think I watched it because I wasn't into watching hockey as much as I am now."

"And you have Jay to thank for that," Will pointed out.

"You can record things on there? Like an old-school DVR?" you asked.

"God, now I feel old," Will groaned. "Wait until she learns about floppy disks."

"Floppy what now?"

"Nevermind. Only 80s-90s kids would get it."

"We get it. You guys are millennials."

"Got it!" Jay exclaimed as he popped the videotape into the VCR and it started playing. "Now, shut up so we can relive this, Will."

You fell asleep before you even reached the end of the first period.

***

You rubbed your eyes and then looked around you to notice that you were still on the couch. You craned your neck to see the time on the oven on the other side of the open concept kitchen and living room and saw that it was 5:45 am. Jay was at the gym now. And, you knew you wouldn't be able to fall back asleep because you were already starting to worry about the rest of the day. You had to be in court at 8:30 and had to be talking to a judge at 9:00, the judge that would determine who you would be living with, which would inevitably determine your future.

God, you were thinking just like the teachers talked about the SATs, how if you didn't get a good grade on that standardized test that your future would be ruined.

You stood up and stretched and then went back to your room to grab the book you were currently reading. Then, you turned on a few lamps and grabbed a yogurt and fruit from the fridge, along with a glass of orange juice. After wrapping yourself in a blanket, you started to eat and read, hoping that that would keep your mind from wandering and worrying at least until Jay got back from the gym.

Half an hour later, Jay unlocked the apartment door and walked inside, confused as to why you were awake. It was only 6:15 and he had told you just to be up by 6:45.

"What are you doing awake, Short Stack?" he asked as he grabbed a banana from the bowl on the counter.

"I woke up at about 5:45 and I couldn't fall asleep. I'm sorry."

"Nothing to worry about. I just want you as well-rested for today as possible. You have your dress all ready? Know what shoes you're going to wear?"

"Jay," you whined. "I picked all of that out last night because you told me to."

"Just didn't want you to have to rush. I can turn the game back on for you so you can watch it until you have to start getting ready?"

You nodded and Jay came over and fiddled with the tv and the remote, going back to the middle of the first period where he thought you had fallen asleep.

"Okay, I'm gonna take a shower. Will said he'll be here around 7:45. Oh, and you can take that history test when you get back on Monday, in Miss Hedge's class."

You smiled. "Okay." Then, you turned your attention back to the hockey game.

***

You widened your eyes as you stood in the second bathroom getting ready. You had gotten dressed (into a navy blue, lacey dress that ended just above the knee that you had bought with Gabby a few days ago), washed your face, brushed your teeth, did your makeup, but now you were cursing yourself for being so stupid. You had no way of doing your hair. You didn't have a straightener here. And, your typical ponytail or bun wasn't going to cut it for court.

"Jay!" you yelled as you exited the bathroom and knocked on his bedroom door.

He opened it as he was tying his tie. "Yeah? Everything okay?"

"I don't have a straightener! I can't do my hair and if I wear my hair like I usually do then it will look bad on you and--"

"Hey, hey, calm down. We've still got over 45 minutes before we have to leave. I'll give Gabby a call and see if she's not on shift and can let you borrow hers."

You sighed the biggest sigh of relief. "Thank you."

Five minutes later, Jay knocked on the bathroom door as you were brushing your hair. "Gabby will be here in ten."

"Oh thank God."

***

"Thank you!" you exclaimed ten minutes later as you opened the door, revealing Gabby with her hair straightener. And, behind her, was Casey.

"No problem. Just tell me if you're not used to it and need help."

You took it from her. "No, I should be good. Thanks, though. C'mon in. I'm pretty sure Jay's around here somewhere."

They came into the apartment while you ran off to find Jay.

You knocked on his bedroom once more and he opened it, this time completely ready for the day. "Gabby and Casey are here," you told him.

"Casey's here?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Yeah. I think he just came with Gabby."

"Okay. Go fix your hair. I'll go talk to them."

Twenty minutes later, you were finished and slipping your shoes on when you heard a knock on the apartment door. "I got it, Y/N!" Jay yelled.

Well, I hoped you would because you're closer to the door than me, you thought to yourself.

Jay opened the door, and since it was exactly 7:45, he was expecting to just see Will. But, what he saw both shocked him and made him want to cry from appreciation at the same time.

Standing next to Will was Natalie and behind them was all of Intelligence and Trudy Platt and Mouch, all of Squad 3 and Truck 81 (minus Casey because he was inside), Sylvie Brett, Chief Boden, April, Maggie, Dr. Rhodes, Dr. Charles, Reese, and Noah.

"You're all here for the court case?" Jay asked, stunned.

"Well, Natalie has to testify about Y/N's deficiencies and weight loss, but yeah. It's better if the court sees that the person trying to get guardianship has a ton of support. So, I figured I'd call in reinforcements...even though I'm pretty sure my big personality is enough."

Jay rolled his eyes. "Your big ego maybe." He paused, not knowing how he was going to fit everyone in his apartment even if it was bigger than his last one. "However many of you guys can fit inside, can come in. Um, some of you might just need to meet us at the courthouse--"

"Jay, they just came now so you could see how many people were behind you. They're just gonna meet you there. Except for me. I'm driving you two." Jay furrowed his eyebrows. They didn't talk about this. "I'll explain later."

"Gabby," you said as you walked out of the bathroom. "Can you--" you stopped as you saw everyone outside Jay's apartment.

"They're all here for you and Jay," Gabby explained as she stood up. "And, you can't cry because it'll smear your makeup, so hold back the tears."

You nodded as you held them back. "Can you, uh, check the back of my hair to make sure I got it all straight?" you asked.

"Two spots are still a bit wavy. Let's go fix it so you can get going."

A few minutes later, Gabby had fixed your hair and everyone besides Will and Jay had left and were on their way to the courthouse. You slipped on a pair of black ballet flats and your coat.

Will had explained that the reason he was driving was that if Jay didn't get guardianship, he didn't want him driving in such a distressed state. Will had worked on so many patients who were in car accidents due to their emotional state and he didn't want Jay to be one of them.

"Ready?" Jay asked you.

"As ready as I'll ever be," you said as you wiped your sweaty palms on your dress.

"All you have to do is tell the truth."

***

You thought you'd be comfortable inside a courtroom because of the crime dramas you'd seen. But, standing inside one was very different from watching a fictional tv show.

No one but you, the judge, the court reporter, Peter Stone, and your dad's lawyer could be in the room for this next part, so everyone was either in a witness room or waiting outside in the hallway for the go-ahead to be let in. You would be allowed to be in the courtroom while they were talking to Jay and your dad, but they wouldn't be able to be in the room when you talked to the judge...for obvious reasons, such as influencing what you would say.

"All rise."

You stood up next to Stone as the judge, who you now knew as Judge Callahan, entered the room.

Once you sat down, you were called to the stand. "Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you God?" you were asked as you placed your hand on the Bible.

"I do," you answered.

"Alright, please allow Miss Halstead on the witness stand," Judge Callahan said. "Now, I'm just going to ask you a few questions. All you have to do is answer them. Do you understand?"

"Yes, I understand."

"Okay, first question: Has your father, Pat Halstead, ever hit you or physically abused you in any way?"

"No," you answered.

"Has he ever neglected to give you necessities, such as food, water, clothing, or shelter?"

"Yes."

"Can you please elaborate?"

You did. You explained how your dad never had food in the house and would yell at you and call you a burden if you tried to eat his leftovers.

"Is it true that your father tried to break into your brother's house to get you?" Judge Callahan asked.

"Yes."

"Who do you feel safest with?"

"My brother, Jay Halstead."

"Who would you prefer to live with?"

"Jay Halstead."

***

Jay sat on the witness stand. He had answered all of Stone's questions, including all of the questions about him finding you stealing, what you had been using for pads, and what he had been told that you had been eating at your dad's house. Natalie had testified about your physical well-being, weight loss, and iron and riboflavin deficiencies. But now, it was time for Jay's cross-examination. And, he sure as hell didn't expect this next question to be asked.

"Mr. Halstead," your dad's lawyer began, "you previously said, and I quote, that your dad clocked out on parenting you and your older brother, Will, when you were in your teens, around when you started high school. Can you elaborate on that?"

"Objection!" Stone yelled. "Relevance?"

"Speaks to a pattern."

"I'll allow it," Judge Callahan said. "Please answer the question, Mr. Halstead."

Jay nodded. "He clocked out on parenting me and Will because he said that were essentially grown men at this point in our lives, we didn't need him cheering us on or him helping us. He didn't come to a single one of my soccer games in high school. And, if by some miracle we went out for ice cream or something just me, my brother, and my dad, he wouldn't pay for ours. Said we were old enough to pay for ourselves.

"But, we had our mom. She came to all our games and school events. She made us breakfast, lunch, and dinner. If she wasn't there, I don't know what would've happened to me and Will. My dad didn't even want me to go into the military and didn't want Will to go to medical school. He said a real man went right to work. The only time I felt loved by him in all my teenage years was when I left for the military. It was like because he knew I might die over there that he figured he'd say he loved me one last time."

"Redirect, your honor," Stone said. Judge Callahan nodded at Stone. "You said that your mom made you and your brother lunch. Are you doing that for Y/N?"

"Objection! Relevance?"

"Speaks to Mr. Halstead's abilities as a parent."

"I'll allow it. Please answer the question."

"I actually do," Jay answered. "I make her a packed lunch to bring to school every day and I'm sure to add foods high in iron and riboflavin to help those levels stabilize quicker. The first time I packed her a lunch, she actually cried because she hadn't gotten a lunch from home in so long."

"Thank you."

"Mr. Halstead," your dad's lawyer started, "you were previously deployed overseas in Afghanistan for two tours of duty. While I thank you for your service, is it possible that you could have PTSD and hurt Y/N in the middle of the night?"

"I would never hurt her!"

"While you are fully conscious, maybe. But, while you are in a sleep-addled state, isn't it possible that you might think that the person waking you up is an enemy soldier and not your little sister?"

Jay sighed. No one knew this about him, not you, not Will, not his dad. No one. And now all of his family and closest friends were going to know since they were in the courtroom watching this entire thing unfold.

"I am on Prazosin for nightmares caused by my PTSD," Jay answered.

"And how long have you been on this medication?"

"For about two years."

"And this has helped you manage your nightmares?"

"Yes, very much so."

"No further questions."

***

"Jesus, Jay," Will said after you had watched your dad's testimony on why he should get to keep you. It was the usual: how he was your father, so, therefore, he deserved to keep taking care of you and it's what your mother would've wanted...despite her telling Jay to keep you safe before she died. They already had the responding officers testify about the break-in, so he couldn't deny that and he was under oath, so if anyone found out he lied, then your dad would be held in contempt.

"I'm sorry I never told you, man," Jay said. "I just, I thought of it as weak that I couldn't deal with my own shit." He grimaced when he realized he had sworn around you. "Sorry, Y/N."

"It's okay. I hear that stuff at school."

"I'm just upset you didn't tell me they were getting that bad, Jay," Will lamented. "I know I wasn't there for you a lot after Mom died, but I'm here now."

Jay nodded, and Will knew he didn't want to talk about the topic anymore. You looked through the little window into the courtroom and saw that the judge was coming back from her chambers.

"Guys, I think she's made a decision," you said nervously.

"Whatever happens, me and Jay will be there for you," Will promised.

All you could do at this point was nod, as a lump was forming in your throat from all your nerves.

Jay led you back into the courtroom and you sat at the front, between Jay and Will. You wiped your sweaty palms on your dress and Jay gave your shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

Judge Callahan stood up.

"By using the child's best interest standard of who can provide food, clothing, housing, education, medical care, and a stable home life for Y/N Halstead, I declare Mr. Jay Halstead the legal guardian of Y/N Halstead."

You could've sworn that you stopped breathing the second she said Jay's first name. You were so overwhelmed that you just turned to him and started crying as he wrapped an arm around you while he listened to the judge state your dad's visitation rights.

But, you didn't hear any of that. The only phrase that kept repeating in your head was I declare Mr. Jay Halstead the legal guardian of Y/N Halstead over and over again.

Now, you knew that you'd always have the necessities when you lived with Jay. You wouldn't have to worry about where your next meal was going to come from or if your dad would be out until 3 am drinking. You wouldn't have to worry about having access to tampons or pads and not be embarrassed anymore to ask for some from school if you forgot to put any in your backpack that day. But most of all, you knew that you would be loved and cared for.

A/N: Thank you so much for reading! Did I make anyone cry with this one??? The blood draw scenario was actually based on when I had to go and get my blood drawn the other day and thought I was going to pass out, which is why that scene was so long. Anyway, thank you again for reading, and please reblog/like and comment and tell me what you think! As always, if you want to be added to my taglist, just tell me and I’ll add you!

taglist: @theambracer88 @virtualreader @kelelas-life @celyndavies @brookerz122493 @musicismyescape27 @anotherfan07 @thexplosivegirl @dreamingwithlens @xoxmariaxox @onechicago18 @iamasimpingh0e

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sugarplumwriter · 3 years

Text

Confessions {Part 2/finale}

1980s!Johnny Lawrence x Reader

A/N: I didn't want to leave it at that so here's what we'd all hope to happen. I really needed this myself.

Summary: As you finally start getting over Johnny Lawrence, something changes.

Warning: L2

{Masterlist}

{Part 1}

Just moments ago, you were standing in front of Johnny Lawrence and you were telling him what only very little people on earth had courage to tell someone.

Your mind was still racing with thoughts. Mainly thoughts about how much easier your life would be from now on. It felt overwhelmingly great to have removed that uncertainty and burden off your chest.

He took it well, you thought, and you couldn’t help but grin at the surreality of it all.

You still had goosebumps all over your body. How exciting that just was.

Your mind hadn’t processed all of it, yet. It was an adjustment for sure. No what ifs anymore and no more questioning if it was all just in your head or actually real.

For the first time in more than two years, you knew it was something very real. Real to you but also real to him. You knew without a doubt that you were going to be on his mind all day today. And that alone satisfied you. You had the power to make it real between you and now it felt like you did, even if just for a day, just for a minute or just for a moment. It felt like you took care of unfinished business and now you could finally move on.

As you stepped into your house, your parent called, “Y/n, is that you?”

“Yes!” you yelled back.

“C-mere! Your friend wants to talk to you.”

You made your way into the living room, where you found them speaking on the phone. When they noticed you stepped in, they covered the speaker with their hand.

“I hope you had a great school day,” they said and quickly added, with their mouth to the phone, “Here she is,” before passing you the handset. Meanwhile you were wondering why one of your friends was calling you. That’s a bit strange, you thought. “Also, don’t talk for too long, food is already on the table.”

You nodded. As they left the room, you put the handset on your ear.

“Hello?” you uttered.

“Yes, y/n, it’s me.” It was your friend who you were talking to yesterday at the beach. She sounded oddly serious.

“What’s up?”

“Were you talking to Johnny earlier?”

Your heart sank. How did she know you were talking to him?

“Why?” you asked.

You heard a crumbling noise at the other end before she spoke again.

“Well because Erin and some other girls saw you two talking.”

Oh no, the girls you saw earlier did notice after all.

Your friend continued, “And she said it looked pretty serious.”

You needed a moment to collect your thoughts while your friend silently waited.

“So ... what do they think it was about?”

“They don’t know actually. They just thought it was strange that’s all. That’s why Erin called me. She wanted to know if I knew anything.” She paused. “I mean, you know what she’s like. Always on the lookout for drama.”

“Yeah,” you said, “I know.”

She nervously laughed, then added, “I told her that you probably borrowed him a pen and he forgot to give it back or something.”

“Did she believe you?”

“I don’t know. Just tell her the same thing if she asks you.”

“Will do.”

“And I don’t think she will ask Johnny by the way.”

“Probably not.”

“Yeah, so I wouldn’t worry too much about it.”

“Mm-hm.”

It was silent after that for a couple of seconds until you heard her clear her throat.

“Y/n, I don’t want to be pushy, but is Johnny the guy you like?”

“Isn’t that quite obvious now?” you said, and although you felt very vulnerable, you couldn’t help but chuckle.

“I guess so.” You heard a smile in her voice. “How did it go?” she added, “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not at the moment, no. Maybe some other time.”

“Okay.” She paused again. “If you need anything just let me know.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

“Of course.”

“Bye, then.”

“Bye.”

The following weeks were both strange and unchanged.

It didn’t feel like anything had changed, which wasn’t untrue for the most part, but you knew that there was this unspoken truth between you and Johnny, like a secret the two of you shared. And anytime you were close to each other, you felt this tension as if both of you were thinking the same.

But he acted normal which meant that neither did he keep a suspicious distance from you, nor was he unnaturally close all the time.

But after many such weeks, your memories slowly started to fade.

One week, you couldn’t stop thinking about him and hoped he’d change his mind, the other, suddenly, you lost awareness of a lot of the feelings you once had and barely even noticed that shift.

Soon you’d be seeing him without any second thought to it. He’d only be a random guy walking the halls and nothing more.

It was P.E. class on a sunny day in the last quarter of your senior year when the confession crossed your mind again.

Everyone was out on the field in their respective groups where you were cheering with the other girls and it just then happened, that a football came flying right at you - or at least right at your group.

In a matter of seconds almost all the girls were screeching and running away just to dodge the ball.

"Can't you be more careful?" someone yelled.

You turned around to see Tommy running after the ball. One of the girls picked it up and tossed it back to him with an annoyed look on her face.

"Sorry, girls,” he laughed and shrugged, “Just couldn't help myself."

Many of the girls started throwing complaints at him to which he only mischievously grinned before he turned away and started running back to the football field. You just stood there and watched him for a couple of more seconds, until you noticed Johnny looking at you. You froze.

You hadn’t paid much attention to him at all for the past couple of months, you hadn't even properly looked at him, which made this moment even stranger to you. It was like looking at him for the very first time.

It was you who turned away first. You didn't want to leave a false impression, so you picked up where you left off before you got distracted and pretend as if nothing was bothering you. Which it obviously did.

Later that same week something else happened that was just as small but left you just as baffled.

You were at your locker and took out some books for the first period when you heard "Hello, y/n" distantly behind you.

At first you thought you had imagined or misheard it but as you turned around, you saw Johnny walking by. Perplexed you quickly glanced away and turned your attention back to the locker.

After, you felt bad for not Greeting him back, but should I have? Or would that have been awkward? Was he even talking to me?

Eventually things like that piled up so much in one week, that you couldn’t hold it inside anymore and you had to initiate a conversation with the only person who knew about it.

"Well, that is really strange," she said. She was lying on your bed and looking through a magazine. "But I wouldn't read into it too much," she continued, "or he probably would've made an actual move, you know?"

You hated it but she was right.

"I guess so."

"Look, y/n.", she sighed as she tossed the magazine to the side, "I'm really not trying to be harsh here; I mean, you know Johnny! Johnny, the “Strike first, strike whatever” and all that."

She made excessive gestures which amused you, but the rest hurt.

He didn't play games, he did things head on, was what she said next, which unfortunately made sense to you.

"But who knows," she smiled, "maybe he finally realized how great you are."

As the last of your high school days went by, you accepted the fact that you should leave this whole thing behind you.

You packed your bag after the last period and left the classroom. The hallways were almost empty, except for a small group of freshmen - and Johnny.

What a rare sight, you thought. Where’s his karate gang?

He stood just outside the classroom. When you started heading towards the exit, he turned his head and looked at you. His glare was neutral at first but then he smiled.

“How are you?”, he asked loudly, and you stopped.

Even though it surprised you, your answer came immediately.

“Good,” you smiled. “How about you?”

“Yeah, me, too.”, he said lower this time as he walked up to you.

He was still smiling but it was silent for a moment. You didn’t know what to expect next but then he said, “Let me drive you home,” and suddenly you felt your heart flutter.

“Oh, ah … sure.”, you replied.

“Awesome.”, he said and started walking. You caught up to him and asked him what all this was about.

“I owe you one.”, was his simple answer. You really didn’t expect that.

“Why?”, you asked.

“Don’t you remember?”

“Remember what?” You were visibly confused by all of this.

“Don’t act like an airhead, y/n.”

The way he spoke to you startled you. But you could tell he wasn’t trying to be mean. He felt just as charged up as you did.

“Of course, I remember that” you snarled sarcastically, “but what about it?”

The two of you left the building walking closely next to each other.

He sighed and eventually admitted, “I didn’t think I could ever fall for another girl like that.”

Did he really mean it?

“But we don’t know each other too well.”, you sneered, and a wide grin formed on your lips.

He seemed amused and when he looked at you, he laughed. But then he went silent. It looked like he was thinking about something, so you didn’t say anything either. Instead you focused on getting to the car.

When you arrived, he opened the door for you and you sat on the lethered seat. You felt a rush of heat that heated up both your cheeks and the rest of your body. The feelings you were having were unmatched by anything you had ever experienced before. No one ever made you feel the way Johnny did.

“I thought a lot about you and about what you said.”, he eventually confessed. “That was some bold stuff you pulled there; you know that?”

He sat down on the drivers seat while your cheeks heated up even more.

“I guess.”, you replied.

“That was rad, y/n, I respect you a lot for that.”

The car engine started, and he pulled out of the parking space. As you were driving, you continued talking about the day of the confession. He told you about his point of view and you told him about yours.

You noticed that he talked a lot and very expressively but also that he attentively listened. Beside that you noticed many other new things about him, which made you like him even more. He made you smile and laugh more than anyone else ever did.

It only took you one ride to immediately click and after that it became a habit for you to drive together. At first only to school and back but it didn’t take long until you started driving everywhere together, in the car or even on his motorcycle. It all lasted a lifetime.

#johnny lawrence #johnny lawrence x reader #johnny lawrence imagine #johnny x reader #cobra kai #cobra kai imagine #cobra kai x reader #the karate kid #karate kid #karate kid imagine #the karate kid imagine #imagine #daniel larusso #daniel larusso x reader #daniel larusso imagine

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itsstrange · 3 years

Text

Coffee Run & Green Eyes

Series: Spark Between Us

Relationship: Jensen Ackles x Skyline McNoir (OFC)

A/N: Hey everyone! I know it’s been a long time and I apologize for those waiting for more stories, but if you follow me on IG then you would know that this last week I was struck with a stomach flu which caused me to not have enough energy for various things. Luckily, I’ve recovered and feel much better. I also want to apologize to those who have requested me some stories, don’t worry I have Not forgotten about you! Just been dealing with some things!

But!! To not keep you guys in the dark I decided to post a Series I wrote for Ao3 on here, just to give y’all something to read meanwhile I work on some other works for y’all!! Hope y’all enjoy it!

Another thing, we have hit 105 followers y’all!!!! Thank you so much for all the love y’all continue in giving me!! I appreciate it so much!! 🥲💚

✨{Credits to owner for the gif}✨

Summary: Skyline McNoir tags along with a few friends who are attending a convention of some show she’s never watched. Little did she know, she would fall head over heels for the lead actor.

Word Count: 2.4 K

Warnings: Will contain Fluff, public sex, alcohol consumption, public fingering, just pure NSFW for all you Jensen fans out there 😊

————

ENJOY!!

————

The blasting chorus of Follow Me Now by Jason Gleed, wakes Skyline up. Her Hazel eyes glare straight ahead at the coconut cream wall for a few seconds before bringing the cover above her head, trying to muffled the music. Which didn’t help. At all. Then to make the morning less fun, her bed begins to shake violently by her best friend who’s jumping up down awhile singing at the top of her lungs. Skyline groans into the covers and tries to bury herself deeper into the warmth, but before she can even hide, the covers are being shoved off her form. A shiver runs throughout her body from the coldness in the room.

“C’mon Sky! Today’s the day!” Erin yells as she hovers above,

Skyline groans once again, eyes closed shut when it’s far too bright in the room “Five more minutes,”

“No come on,” Erin says, slightly pushing Sky’s body with her foot, “Tiffany and Laila are already downstairs grabbing breakfast,”

Still not moving, Erin shoves her body once again with her foot, when that didn’t do the trick an evil smirk spreads on her face. Grabbing an unused pillow, she raises it above her head before roughly slamming it against Sky’s head, causing her to jerk upright. With sleep still in her eyes, Sky is only able to squint at her best friend.

“Erin! What the fu-,” Her words were cut off when a large pillow smacks her in the face,

Erin chuckles at her, ignoring the death stare as she hops off her bed, “Chop chop.. we got a busy day today!”

With a roll of her eyes and a loud groan, Sky rolls off the comforter and towards the bathroom. After taking care of her regular morning routines, she hops in the shower. Erin’s music still blasted through the speakers, as Sky took a quick shower and she honestly hoped none of their neighbors complained about their disturbance, she knew she would have if she was trying to get a few more hours of shut eye.

That’s all she ever really wanted at the moment, sleep. After months of studying, exams, piles upon piles of work, and busting all nighters she was finally in winter break. The feeling of being able to come home for the holidays and spending those days with her family sounded amazing and relaxing. However, after the second day of being home, she gets a call from Erin. Mentioning something about having another extra ticket for a convention to meet the cast of some show she’s never watched. She kindly declined the offer, wanting to spend her days off with her family sounded like a much better idea than meeting unknown actors. However, Sky often forgets Erin is not the type to take no for an answer and demanded her to hand the phone over to her mother.

Thinking her mother would defend her and find a way to convince Erin to try and find someone else to take to the convention, Sky hands the phone over to her mother. You can only imagine who won that argument.

Once out of the shower with a towel wrapped around her body, Sky heads out the bathroom and towards her duffel bag. In the winter season of Austin, Texas, she decides on a plain long sleeve, black jeans, grey hoodie, black boots on her feet with a leather jacket on top. Once her hair is made and adds a couple splashes of makeup on her face, she grabs her phone and book from the small counter as she follows Erin out the room. After a few minutes later, they finally arrive in the breakfast buffet where Tiffany and Laila are already stuffing themselves with waffles and eggs. With a yawn, Sky makes her way over to the buffet with Erin right behind her. Once they both get their plates and sit down on the table, they dig in before getting on with their day.

****

8:45 am

“Oh my god!! I just hugged Speight!!” The sound of Laila coming around the corner interrupts Sky from her book,

The sight of Laila bouncing up and down on her feet with a wide grin makes a small chuckle escape from Skyline. As her friends beamed over this Speight guy, Sky returns her focus down on her book. Not really paying much attention at their excitement, but still having a smile on her lips as she reads the next chapter in her book. Even if she’s not having the same excitement as her friends, she is still having fun with them. Being around them in general for whatever reason always brightens her day. No matter how rough of a day she’s seems to be having, her girls always know just how to distract her and make her have fun.

“Ohh it’s almost time for Osric’s panel,” Tiffany says while looking down at her phone,

No longer able to focus on her book, Sky marks her spot before getting up from the floor.

“You guys go in, I’ve got auto’s for Kim at nine,”

It’s barely nine in the morning? Jesus. Sky thinks to herself, the day has felt extremely long she could have sworn it was already noon.

“Okay, let’s go Sky,” Laila motions her head to the side for her to follow,

“If you guys want me to continue tagging along, I’m gonna need an espresso,” Sky states, feeling yet another yawn creeping up her throat,

Her friends chuckle at her but agreed with her idea. They wouldn’t want her dragging her feet all over the convention, besides, coffee did sound like a great idea. Once writing down their preferred drinks in her notes, Sky leaves through the doors, down the steps and towards a coffee shop not too far away. It was only a couple blocks away, she should make it back in no time. Hugging her jacket closer to her body when the wind picks up, Sky quickens her movements to avoid its freezing weather but careful to not slip on the wet pavement. The last thing she needs is to fall flat on her ass, better yet get a concussion or go back home with a broken wrist.

Boy would her mom faint if she saw her daughter in a cast. Will most likely give her a lecture on why it’s important not to be on the phone during the most worst seasons. ‘If you weren’t on the phone this wouldn’t have happened Skyline’. Yep. She can definitely hear her ranting.

After a few blocks in the harsh winds, Skyline is finally reaching the small little coffee joint. Just as she reaches for the handle of the door, another, large, hand reaches at the same time. Thick fingers slightly touching her own, making her pull back with an apology.

“No it’s fine go ahead,” A deep voice says beside her, letting a shiver run down her body,

Most likely from the weather, what else would it be?

She looks up at the man. Dark beard, shades on his face, black hat on his head, with a black T-Shirt underneath a checkered navy flannel and black Levi’s jacket. Even under the dark shades she can tell he was good looking, handsome in fact.

“No you can go ahead,” Sky smiles at the man, stepping aside for him to enter,

He only shakes his head, gripping the door handle as he opens it for her, “Please I insist, my mom would throw a fit if she finds out I didn’t show my manners,”

Sky chuckles at him, “Well we wouldn’t want that now,”

The man chuckles back, smile forming on his lips. Man did that smile just make her stomach flip.

“No, we really wouldn’t,” Chuckling once more at him she accepts the offer with a thanks before entering the coffee shop,

As she walks inside, the change of temperature immediately hits her cold cheeks. Almost as if a heating furnace was suddenly shoved in her face, but she wasn’t complaining, the warmth was needed. Walking further into the coffee shop, she takes a glance over her shoulder to see if the man was behind her, but only lets a smile appear when she catches the moment of him allowing an elderly couple enter before him.

That’s sweet. She thinks to herself as she walks up to the counter. Once her drinks have been ordered and paid, she heads over to a small empty table near the window. Sitting on the chair she pulls out her book and continues where she left off as she waits for her drinks. A few minutes had passed and Sky was too engrossed in her book to notice her name being called out by the barista. Eventually though, she comes back to reality when someone places her drink in front her. Looking up from her book she meets eyes with bright emerald orbs, and noticing those breathtaking eyes belong to the same man from the door.

“I’m guessing your Skyline?,” The way her name rolls off his deep voice sends a shiver down her spine,

Definitely can’t be the air this time, absolutely not.

Eyeing the cup of coffee in front of her, she lifts a eyebrow at the man, teasing him. Even if she sees her name written on the side of the cup.

“And what makes you think that?” The way his lips slightly lift causes something to flip in her stomach,

Again.

“Well.. seeing how there’s hardly folks in here,” He looks around the shop for a few seconds before landing his eyes on hers again, “and you being the only one sitting down without a coffee.. I took a guess,”

Sky hums with a smile as she takes the cup, “Nice deduction,”

He shrugs a shoulder with a smile, “This seat taken?”

Sky shakes her head as she takes careful sips from her drink. With a small smile the man pulls out the chair with his other free hand, seeing how he has a cup of his own in one hand.

“I’m Ross by the way,” The man extends a hand once seated,

With a smile Sky accepts his hand, feeling it warm and rough as it wraps around her own.

“Nice to meet you,” Still smiling she pulls away from his firm hand,

“You around from here or just passing through?” He asks, taking careful sips from his cup,

Sky softly smiles at him as she wraps her hands around her coffee, trying to warm up her fingers.

“Born and raised,” He raises a brow at the small fact,

“No kidding?”

She nods, “Yeah but I’m just home for the holidays,”

He hums with a nod, “In the army or something?”

Sky couldn’t help the chuckle that escapes from her, definitely noticing how the corner of the mans lips slightly lift as well.

“More like college. My last year,”

“Really? What’re you studying?” He asks, taking another sip, never letting his eyes drift from her Hazel ones,

But does notice how they dart down towards his mouth before quickly looking back up to his eyes. A small smirk hides behind the cup, but doesn’t hide it when he pulls it away from his face.

“Biology,” He hums once again with a sincere smile, making her stomach flip,

It was such an odd feeling, especially when it was coming directly from a man she hardly knows. But for some reason, it felt right. Their conversations switched from topic to topic, never faltering. It just felt right, as if they were long time friends catching up with each other instead of two strangers who just met. Eventually, their conversation was cut short with the barista calling out her name once again with the rest of her drinks.

Getting up from her seat she walks over to the counter where her drinks waited. As she grabbed a cup holder and begins placing her drinks in each space, Ross, settles next to her. Getting a whiff of his cologne. Leaning on the counter he had both his and her coffee in either hand, which he hands over with a smile once all coffees were safely secured in place.

“I should get going,” She smiles up at his green orbs, and only then noticing how freckles are splashed on his face,

This man was literally dashing, no doubt about it.

“Yeah same here,” He says looking down at his watch, “Need a ride?”

She shakes her head with a smile, “I’m good thanks,”

“You sure? Heard it might rain,” He continues to lean on the counter as she places her coffee in an empty slot of the holder,

“I’m sure, it’s just a few blocks from here,”

“Well it can rain from those few blocks,” He argues as he gives her a smile, not wanting to end their little moment,

Neither did she, but she had friends waiting and the moment she tells them the reason why she took a little longer than expected, they wouldn’t leave her alone until she gives them the whole shebang.

She lets a small chuckle escape her lips as she picks up the coffees, “I’ll make a run for it,”

He softly chuckles at her comment, green eyes staring straight into her Hazel orbs that have slightly turned grey from her sweater. Definitely finding her and her eyes fascinating and beautiful.

“It was nice meeting you Ross,” She smiles at him as she walks away,

He smiles as he watches her, sending her a wave goodbye when she looks over her shoulder before walking out the door. Watching her leave didn’t feel like a loss, it felt the complete opposite actually. Why? Well for starters, he knew it wouldn’t be the last time he saw her considering she had the all too familiar Creation Entertainment wristband on her left hand. Also, he had her book inside his jacket, another reason on why he would see her again.

Both to retrieve her book and to have a reason to see her again. Don’t get him wrong, he was actually going to give it to her before she left, but the thought of holding it and having a reason to see her again sounded like great idea. He wanted to see her again, wanted to have a conversation longer than 10 minutes and just wanted to get to know her. She was different, in a good way, absolutely in a good way. The way she seemed to not know him or maybe she did but simply did not care made him feel relaxed, made him feel somewhat normal and he would give anything to feel that way again.

Even if it meant “stealing” her book to have an excuse to see her again.

PART 2

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-Hope y’all enjoyed this first part of the series!! Stay tuned for random updates for ‘Spark Between Us’ I won’t give an announcement on when I’ll update it so keep your eyes peeled on it!!

-Turn on Post Notifications!! 🔔 For more!!

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#jensen Ackles #jensen ackles x ofc #jensen ackles x y/n #jensen ackles x you #jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles imagine #Jensen Ackles smut #smut #Spark Between Us Series #supernatural imagine #supernatural #supernatural smut #dean winchester #Dean Winchester x reader #the boys #the boys tv #the boys imagine #Soldier Boy

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babymetaldoll · 3 years

Text

DIWK - Chapter four: "Hurt"

Words count: 13,7K

The gif is mine ✨

Warnings: Hardcore Spencer trauma. Mention of drug abuse, torture, Criminal Minds usual case triggers. Spoilers of Season 2 E14/15 Criminal Minds.

Summary: An unsub abducts Spencer, and reader blames JJ for it.

A/N: Have you ever wished you were there to save Spencer from Tobias Hankel? I know I have. I know reader wants to... I'm dying to know what you'll think of this chapter! Sorry if it's a little too graphic, writing Spencer's POV of this episode was really hard.

Series Masterlist

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(Y/N)'s point of view

I remember the day Emily Prentiss arrived. We had a case in Saint Louis. Two serial killers, 'cos it couldn't just be one asshole making everyone miserable. And on top of all, Hotch was confused and upset 'cos he never signed Emily's transfer to the BAU. It was like someone was trying to force her into the team, and we all thought it was weird.

We left the bullpen off to the case and left Prentiss in the office, not knowing if she actually got the job or not. I know Elle and I weren't incredibly close, but it still felt weird to think someone might join the team and try to replace her. It didn't work that way in that job. It didn't feel right at the moment.

There is something I also distinctly remember about that day: Gideon talked to me. And not only that, but he actually trusted my knowledge. We hadn't been on the best terms for a few months, so that approach meant a lot to me.

We were at the police station. Reid and I had been analyzing the letters one of the killers had sent to a journalist to find something that might help us catch him before there were any more victims. That's when JJ and Jason walked in, and he asked about our progress.

- "He only sent this to an individual, which shows he is not confident enough to initiate contact with the masses."- Spencer explained as he projected an image of the letter on the wall.

- "Emotional indicators are analyzed through slants, and you can see the shooter maintains vertical, narrow letter writing, and both are signs of repression"- I said and pointed at the image on the wall- "And the pressure, if you look closely, it's excessively heavy, which shows that he's uptight and can easily overreact."

Gideon looked at me and nodded. It was my cue to keep on talking. For once in a long time, I was feeling approved by him.

- "You got all that from his handwriting?"- JJ asked me, surprised. Reid looked at me from the other side of the room, and I could feel his smile reflecting how proud he was of me.

- "Graphology is an effective and reliable indicator of personality and behavior."

- "But my writing is always different,"- she added, and I nodded. I was waiting for that comment.

- "Yes, because it represents your emotions at the moment, just like your facial expressions parallel the way you are feeling while you are speaking."

- "What else can we know about our unsub from this?"- Gideon asked me.

- "Well, our killer uses simple statements, all first person, like "I won't be ignored," which means he's obviously tired of feeling this way. He may have a job in solitude or one that he feels strips of his identity. His work might require him to wear a uniform, something that shows absolutely no individuality, or he may be overqualified for his menial job and feels that he doesn't get the respect that he necessarily deserves."

I made a pause and waited for his words. I was giving my best, and I swear I was still hoping I could ever get Jason Gideon's blessing.

- "I think we are ready to give a profile,"- he said and nodded.

And damn, that felt good.

When we were back in Quantico, Hotch had a long and clearly awkward conversation with the section chief, Erin Strauss. She was scary. She was clearly trying to get rid of Hotch, questioning his work daily, decisions, and how he managed the team. Why? I have no idea.

It felt she forced him to accept Prentiss into the team. We were one man down after Elle left. Ok, one awesome woman down, so we definitely needed some help. And Emily was a great addition from day one.

We clicked right away. Prentiss was funny, smart, but most of all, she constantly had to prove she deserved to be there. Just like me. Gideon gave her the cold shoulder from day one, and that I could relate. The only difference was that she won him over in a few days, though. I was still trying to win that battle.

Garcia decided we needed a girl's night, and she hosted the first of many "BAU Girl Power get together." Basically, it was us at Penelope's place drinking and talking.

That first night, we updated Prentiss with everything that had happened with Elle. She wanted to know everything about us, what we did, how long we've been on the team, and how we all got along. It was sweet and fresh. After that year in the BAU, I had already learned to enjoy the sweet things in life. Like getting drunk with my work girlfriends.

- "So, does Hotch ever smile?"- Emily asked, and we all laughed at the very same time. Yes, it was getting late, and we weren't as sober as we should have been.

- "He does! he does!"- JJ assured us- "You should see him with his baby."

- "He is a dad?"- Emily was shocked. I was surprised too when I found out Aaron was married and with a baby. The amount of time he spends at work always made me feel he had zero personal life.

- "And has a beautiful wife"- JJ added- "He is always laughing when he is with her and baby Jack."

- "I guess this job can drain the happiness from your day... "- I thought out loud, but before anyone could say anything about my dark and bitter comment, my cell phone rang.

- "Hey honey bunny, everything ok?"- I stood up and walked to the kitchen. I didn't want to interrupt the girl's conversations.

- "Yes, I just wanted to make sure you were drinking enough water between drinks"- I laughed and shook my head. Only Reid could call to say such a thing. He was the sweetest friend on earth.

- "Yes, I am, don't worry. I'm not going to be hungover or drunk tomorrow. I know you are excited about the new exposition."

- "You are gonna love it!"

- "I am sure I will"- and I wasn't kidding. I loved when he dragged me to the Smithsonian or any museum for some nerdy fun.

- "Have fun with the girls."

- "What are you doing, by the way?"

- "Just reading a little, you left your complete Sherlock Holmes collection here, so I'll be solving mysteries while you get drunk."

- "Don't have too much fun without me"- he chuckled and ended the call. I smiled and walked back to the girls looking at me with a funny grin on their faces.

- "Was that your boyfriend?"- Penelope asked me, and I frowned right away.

- "No, it was Reid. He just wanted to confirm we are going to the museum tomorrow."

- "Wait"- Prentiss narrowed her brows and looked at us confused- "Reid ain't your boyfriend?"

JJ and Garcia's laughter was epical, as well as my frown. They nearly gasped for air while Prentiss and I waited until they calmed down.

- "No"- I finally answered- "Reid is not my boyfriend."

- "He is more than that; he is her work husband,"- Penelope clarified, and I turned to her with my mouth wide open, shocked.

- "What the fuck? Reid ain't my work husband. He is my best friend!!"

- "Yes, and you happen to call your best friend "honey bunny," right?"- JJ questioned, just like she had a few months before when we were alone in our room away on a case.

- "Reid is my best friend, and yes, I call all my close friends by weird pet names. You will get one too if you are lucky."

- "But I thought"- Emily continued- "I mean, he looks at you like you are his sun."

- "No, Prentiss, the only coupe in this team is the one between "chocolate thunder" and "baby girl" right here"- I pointed at Garcia, and she just blushed and covered her face.

- "My love for Derek will burn forever with the intensity of a thousand suns. I mean, have you seen that man? he was made by the gods and sent to earth just to give my existence some sense"- we all laughed at those cheesy words, though Pen was serious about them.

- "But, have you ever...?- JJ looked at her and made a pause. We were all looking at every single facial movement or behavior she might show to read her body language."

- "My relationship with my loverman could never be tainted by something as mundane as sex."

- "Like you wouldn't lick honey from that six-pack and ride that thunder."

The words just left my lips, and I blame the buzz. BAU (Y/N) would have never said that. Drunk (Y/N) would, totally.

The girls laughed until tears fell from their eyes, and I just chuckled, honestly happy to make them laugh. I had been more of the real me than I had ever actually been around them in nearly a year.

- "Hello?"- my phone rang again when I was walking out of the bathroom. And this time, it was Paul.

- "Hey babe, what are you doing?"

- "Hey, I'm..."- I looked at the girls in front of me and sighed- "I'm stuck with paperwork"- and they turned to me immediately. I could read the "What the fuck" on their faces.

- "Well, I'm at Rob's in case you feel like dropping by. We are writing a few songs."

- "I'll text you if I finish with this early, but... have fun."

- "Ok, bye"- I hung up and sighed.

- "And that was..."- Prentiss asked, frowning.

- "My boyfriend,"- I explained and grabbed another beer

- "Sure, I could feel the passion,"- Garcia joked, but I just didn't think it was funny.

I knew my relationship with Paul wasn't alright. Actually, things with Paul weren't. Period. We were done, it was apparent, but still, neither of us had said it. That relationship was just a few phone calls every once in a while, only to make small talks. When we were together, we would just watch a movie, eat something, drink a few beers, and that was it. It had been a long time since we had sex or even made out. I don't know why I didn't end it sooner. I guess I was just afraid to do it.

But I let more months pass before I actually did something.

Spencer's point of view

I'm not proud of what happened that year after Prentiss joined the team. I think that year changed me profoundly, and a part of me never fully recovered afterward.

Maybe it had to be that way, and it was something I had to go through to grow up. I guess I'm still trying to make some sense of all the misery I put my friends through. Mostly (Y/N). She was in hell with me.

A few weeks after New Year, we started working on a case. Someone was killing wealthy people in their own homes. At first, we thought there were two unsubs, 'cos one of them called 911 after killing, and you could hear them struggling and arguing. But no, it was just one.

Tobias Hankel was a delusional serial killer. He had split personalities, not two but actually three. His father, the one who tortured me. The archangel Raphael, who was trying to make God's will, killing people. And himself, who wanted to save me, but instead, he nearly destroyed me.

What do I remember about the day he kidnapped me? I remember I was stupid enough to try to catch an unsub alone, just to prove I could take care of myself on the field. Hotch sent me and JJ to talk to Hankel at his house, 'cos apparently, he might have seen the unsub months earlier. But no, he was the unsub, and neither JJ nor me could stop him.

We hid in a barn, and I was so eager to prove I could catch him; I told JJ we had to split up to cover the place. I was counting on Hotch to get there with the team sooner than they did, and before I realized it, I was in the middle of a cornfield, and Hankel was pointing at me with my own gun.

I was sure I was going to die right there. All of Hankel's personalities were struggling inside of him. I couldn't stop thinking about why I thought I could do it on my own? Why had I been a reckless asshole? Was it because I wanted to prove I was an excellent SAA? Because I wanted to impress JJ? Maybe I tried to convince myself I could do the same job my team did. I knew I wasn't the most physical person, but I had a gun. I had been trained to capture killers.

Yes, I was an asshole that day, and I've regretted everything that happened that night many, many times in the following years.

When I woke up, I was tied to a chair, and the archangel Raphael had taken Hankel's mind completely. The room was dark, and it smelled awful. He was burning fish hearts and livers, 'cos he believed it kept the devil away.

I was confused and lost. My head was spinning, and my heart was about to burst into my chest. I knew I could die any second now. Raphael wasn't the one to show mercy. That's what I had learned from all the videos Hankel had uploaded to the web. He had shared with the world every murder they had committed to show the other sinners what was going to happen to them.

- "They believe you can see inside men's minds"- Raphael looked at me with dark eyes, implying he meant Tobias and his father

- "It's not true. I study human behavior."- my voice was shaking. I knew I had never been more scared in my entire life. He took out a gun and showed me one bullet.

- "Do you know what this is? It's God's will."

Things didn't look good for me. He put it in the cylinder of the revolver and spun it. He was going to let my life to luck.

- "You don't have to do this"- I tried to talk him out of it, though I knew it wasn't going to work.

- "No go, sinners, to your God."

And he pressed the trigger.

What went through my mind the seconds that passed between having the gun pointed to my face and realizing I had lived? My mom. All I could think of was how my mom would react to the news of my death. I could never bear to hurt her like that. I couldn't die. I couldn't leave her alone.

I sighed, relieved, and bit my lips not to cry. Raphael looked at me with a blank expression and walked out of the room. I had survived for now.

I struggled with my handcuff, but it was useless. My head was killing me. I could feel the open wound on my head, still dripping blood on my temple and head. I tried to focus on the pain for a few minutes, just to make sure I was awake. It was a nightmare, and keeping myself sane and conscious under those circumstances was nearly impossible.

How was I going to get out of there alive? Did the team know where I was? I had no idea where I had been taken. I had been unconscious the whole way. It was dark, and I couldn't see much around me. I wasn't afraid of that darkness. I was more fearful of the man that left me alone, 'cos he was armed and mentally unstable. Darkness had nothing on him.

I had to focus on the things that kept me sane. The things that made me want to get out of that room alive.

- "My name is Spencer Walter Reid. I'm twenty-five years old, my mother's name is Diana Reid, I was born in Las Vegas, October 28th, 1981."

I closed my eyes and tried to think of all the things that made me happy.

- "I work at the BAU, my best friend's name is (Y/N), and she sits at the desk in front of me. Derek Morgan is the closest I've got to an older brother."

He was. He still is. You have to be close to dead to start seeing things clearly sometimes. Derek was my brother. He treated me like a kid, but a kid brother. He was always teasing me, trying to teach me how to pick up girls, trying to drag me to the gym with him. Derek was a good friend, we were very different, and I knew if we had been classmates in high school, we would probably never have talked. He was a jock, and I was a nerd. But life had brought us together. And now I couldn't think of a better friend than him.

I tried to focus on my happiest memories. My birthday came to mind. The guys had planned a Halloween-themed birthday party at the conference room of the BAU. Of course, Garcia baked a cake and (Y/N) helped her decorate it. It was incredible, 'cos it was covered with tiny gourds and skulls.

- "Frank and Mikey sent you these,"- she announced after everybody had given me their presents. I wide opened my eyes in shock 'cos I had no idea her friends knew it was my birthday or even cared about it.

- "Why?"- I had to ask.

- "'Cos they think you are amazing. They actually wanted to come over to your house and have a few beers tonight."- I opened my mouth to say something, but Derek interrupted me.

- "Pretty boy is gonna get to work hungover again."

- "Shut up"- (Y/N) and I said at the same time, making everybody chuckle. I opened the present her friends had sent me and laughed right away.

- "Lucky Doc"- I read and took out of the bag a Sports Illustrated issue with Lila Archer on the cover. My cheeks turned red immediately.

- "Frank still hasn't overcome that story. I think he will hate you forever"- (Y/N) laughed (along with the rest of the team) and gave me another present.

- "They also sent you this. They said you were going to like the man in black"- it was a Johnny Cash's vinyl- "Frank picked it. He thinks he is some sort of musical psychic that can read people's taste in music."

- "We should get together and have a few beers one of these days. I need to thank them for these."

Gideon looked at me in silence as soon as I said those words. But I didn't care if he disapproved. I was going to be (Y/N)'s friend, whether he liked it or not.

He is the closest I've had to a dad in the latest years. He cares about me, and he tries to make the best of me that he can. Yes, he can be too apprehensive. I think that's a way to put it. But only because he wants me to be the best profiler I can be.

I never thought I would end up working at the BAU. I never thought I would love the job I do as much as I do. Back when I was in college, I thought I would dedicate my life to finding a cure for schizophrenia, but I ended up hunting serial killers across the country.

And though I was about to die, I didn't regret any of the decisions that led me there.

The morning found me shaking, cold, and scared. I was in a small cabin in the woods. Just like the worst and more cliché horror movie ever made. This was my own horror movie.

- "What are you staring at, boy?"- Tobias opened the front door carrying logs for the fire. His voice had changed yet again, so I knew it wasn't the same person I had talked to the night before.

- "You are not Raphael."- I whispered, looking at every movement he did.

- "Do I look like Raphael?"- had I insulted him? I couldn't tell. He turned to the fire, and I took a deep breath, doing my best to stay calm.

- "Thank you for burning those, for keeping us safe."- I said, looking at the fish hearts and livers he was preparing to put on the fire.

- "Don't try to trick me."

- "I would never try to trick you."

- "You are a liar."

- I'm not a liar."- it was hard to stay calm and not start screaming for help or mercy, but I knew that was going to take me nowhere with him.

- "Lying is a sin."

- "I'm not a liar."- he walked closer to me, and sat right in front of me, held my leg up, and grabbed my foot.

- "This will be over quickly if you just confess your sins."

- "I am not a sinner"- I whispered again. He took off my shoe.

- "We are all sinners."- it didn't look good for me, not at all, and I knew I had to talk to him with his words with his beliefs to save my life.

- "The Lord spake unto Moses saying "Speak unto all the congregation of the children of the lord" and say unto them, ye shall be holy, for I, the Lord your God, am holy."

Hankel, this time in the personality of his father, looked at me surprised. I might have done something right, 'cos he stopped moving, and for a second, I thought it was going to be ok.

- "You know Leviticus."

- "I know every word of the bible. I can recite it for you."- but his eyes turned dark again.

- "The devil knows how to read too."

- "I'm not a devil, I'm not a devil2- I repeated, and couldn't stop shaking, 'cos my life on the hands of a sociopath.

- "I'm a man, my name is Spencer Reid, and I have a mother, and I have a father just like you, and they taught me the bible, let me recite the bible."

My voice cracked at the knowledge of what he was going to do. He stood up, still holding my foot. He was going to torture me, he was going to try to break me, and I had to be strong. I didn't know how I would find the strength, but I had to be strong.

- "Time to confess, Spencer Reid"- and without further notice, he slapped a log against my foot, making me scream in pain. It hurt from the tip of my toes until the back of my skull. I hadn't felt that kind of pain, and it was worse knowing he was just getting started. Tears started falling down my cheeks in no time.

- "Confess!"

- "I don't have anything to confess."- I whimpered and closed my eyes, 'cos I knew he was going to continue his torture. And so he did. The pain was excruciating. I was sure I was going to pass out

I tried to go to a happy place in my head, somewhere when I could hide from all that pain. It was too hard, though. It hurt too much. I kept repeating over and over again I wasn't a sinner, begging Hankel for mercy, as he shouted I had to confess.

I made an effort to think about what he might want me to say. What did he want me to confess? Which sins was he talking about? But nothing came to my mind, nothing but the pain and the fear of dying.

(Y/N)'s point of view

The second we reached Hankel's cabin, I started looking for Spencer. I had a horrible feeling about it. Morgan and I headed it to a barn with Prentiss. There was no sign of anyone. It was dark and quiet. Never a good sign.

- "Shit!"- I whispered, staring at three dead dogs and a bath of blood in front of me. There laid the body of another victim that was missing from Hankel's last attack.

- "FBI!!"- JJ shouted suddenly. She was pointing his gun to us, clearly in shock- "Don't move!!"

- "JJ, it's Morgan, (Y/L/N), and Prentiss! Don't shoot"- Derek tried to calm her down, walking towards her- "Are you hurt?"- she lowered the gun and stared at us. You could read the fear and the trauma in her eyes.

- "Tobias Hankel is the unsub,"- she whispered as Prentiss rubbed her arm sweetly, trying to comfort her.

- "Yeah, we know"- I moved towards her too and put my gun back into the holster.

- "And we thought he was just a witness"- we looked around, and JJ pointed at the dead dogs.

- "JJ, where is Reid?"- Derek asked her, but she just continued talking.

- "They completely tore her apart"

- "JJ, look at me,"- I said and held her arm carefully- "Look at me, where's Reid?"- she was shaking, and her voice was cracking. I knew she was making her best effort to pull herself together.

- "We split up. He said he was going to go in the back."

And there it was. That was the reason why I had a bad feeling all along. Derek looked at me and nodded as we read each other's minds. The two of us turned around and ran outside, leaving JJ with Prentiss, waiting for the medical team and ambulance to check on her wounds.

Gideon and Hotch were inside the cabin, looking for Hankel, but there was no one there. And there was no sign of Reid behind the barn either, in the cornfield, or anywhere in the perimeter. Reid was nowhere to be found, and I started losing it little by little. I tried to repeat myself the words Hotch had said many times during my year in the BAU: "when you are out there with the team; your mind has to be one hundred percent on the case." But the case had never included my best friend missing before.

- "Hey, is there any sign of him yet?- I asked the police chief as I reached the ambulance. He was there talking with JJ, making sure she was ok.

- "We got every one of our units on the road. He won't make it far"- I nodded and watched him walk away. I knew he thought I was talking about Hankel, but I actually meant Reid.

I turned to JJ and moved a little closer to her. Her eyes open wide, staring back at me.

- "You can't find Reid?"- I just shook my head and tried to sound as casual as I could, not to freak her out. She was still in shock. I didn't want to make it worse.

- "Not yet"

- "(Y/N)"- Derek held my arm and forced me to walk away from the ambulance.- "Reid followed him into the cornfield. It looks like somebody got dragged."

My heart stopped. Did the psychopath hurt Spencer? Did he kill him? Did he torture him? Was he hurt? Was he alive? Where was he? Derek looked at me, and I nodded. I bit my lips and took a deep breath. Hotch's words were my mantra now: "your mind has to be one hundred percent on the case."

- "Are you sure?"- we turned to the police's chief, overhearing his conversation- "We are on our way now."

- "What's going on?"

- "The sheriff down two towns over, he just gave directions to a man who fit Hankel's descriptions. It's to a motor lodge in fort bend."

- "Let's get Hotch and Gideon"- Derek held my arm and walked with me to the cabin. We had to find Reid, and we had to do it fast.

That was the worst night of my life. The first worst night of my life, to be sincere. I didn't close an eye. I went through every paper, every note, every detail in that cabin, trying to find a clue that could lead us to where Tobias had taken Reid.

I felt someone had ripped my heart from my chest. I had to think straight, and to do it, I had to keep a cold head. But as the hours passed, it became a more demanding and more challenging task to complete. I knew the whole team was suffering, but that didn't ease my pain. And I knew JJ felt guilty, but that didn't stop me from blaming her in my mind. She left him alone. I would have never left Spencer alone on the field.

- "(Y/N), you should try to get some rest."

Derek whispered as he sat on the floor next to me, where I had been sitting for the last half hour, reading Tobias's old diaries. Nothing but fear of his father, mentions of Dilaudid use, and bible transcriptions.

- "I'm ok,"- I answered and didn't even take my eyes from the pages.

- "(Y/N), I mean it"

- "I'm not going to rest if he is out there in the hands of a psychopath, Derek"- I had to bite my lips and shut the fuck up, 'cos if I said one more word, I knew I was going to burst into tears.

Morgan just wrapped an arm around my shoulders and moved me closer to him. That was the first time I let him hug me, and it felt good to know I wasn't alone in my desperation. I knew he loved Reid like a brother, and neither of us was going to stop until we found him.

- "Welcome to our nightmare"- JJ's voice broke the silence we had been into for the last hour when Hotch walked into the cabin with Penelope.

It was morning already. There were still no signs of Reid. Prentiss, Gideon, JJ, and I had been sitting at the table, reading everything we could.

- "His computer is an extension of his brain. I need you to dissect it,"- Gideon whispered to García. You could feel the concern in his voice. She just nodded in shock and turned to Derek, who held her hand and helped her get set up in the computer room.

- "So, nothing new since I left?"- Hotch asked and looked at us. I just shook my head and continued reading.

- "Well, the good thing is the guy documented practically every second of his life"- Prentiss words took me from the pages I was reading. I looked at her and raised an eyebrow. The concept of "good" was poorly used in that phrase.

- "The bad news is, we are still un-piling,"- she added and sighed.

- "From the looks of it, he hasn't left this place in years,"- JJ managed to say. She made her best effort to be useful, but she was in worse shape than everybody else. Yet, that didn't make me feel bad for her. I was mad at her and kept making my best to put it aside, 'cos my head had to be in the case.

- "He knew he could pretend to be looking for a motel and throw us off his trail,"- Emily inferred, but I shook my head as soon as I heard her.

- "No, no, no, it's more than that!"- I shook my head and took a deep breath- "Sheriff's office, 911 calls, every time he engages the police and gets away with it... he reassures himself, God's on his side. Not ours."- I added.

Gideon nodded, and we shared a moment of agreement. He was as worried as I was. I could feel it. I'm not saying the rest of the team wasn't, I'm saying Jason was as fucked up as I was, and I could sense he was having the same trouble I had making sure my head and not my sentiments were into the case.

But if anything happened to Reid, I didn't know what I was capable of doing.

At a certain point, I got sick of reading and not doing anything and decided to look around the house again if we had missed anything. Derek went along. One part of me felt he wanted to stay away from JJ too. Maybe he was as mad as I was about her leaving Reid alone. I know I couldn't blame her, but I did it anyway.

- "Guys!! I think I've got something!"- Derek yelled, and I ran over. He opened a door that led to a basement. I walked right behind him, pointing my gun and my flashlight all over. But there was no sign of Reid.

- "Tobias Hankel!!"- Morgan shouted. Someone was sitting in what looked to be a gigantic freezer- "Tobias!"- but we didn't get any response. I took a step closer and examined carefully.

- "Morgan, I think we just found Hankel's father."

Spencer's point of view

On my second night in that cabin, I met Tobias. The third personality of Hankel walked into the room, carrying what seemed to be a dead deer. He looked as frightened as I was.

- "You need to eat."

- "What's your name?"

- "Tobias."

- "Tobias, who was here before?"

- "Probably my father."

He looked at me up and down, and he immediately understood what he had done to me. It was scary how he could dissociate. Someone with multiple personality disorder is usually unaware of the other personality states and memories when an alter is dominant. In this case, Tobias knew the other personalities but considered them different persons. He didn't think they were all in his head.

- "I'm sorry if he hurt you."

He looked at me like he understood everything I had been going through. Maybe he had been through something similar when his father was alive. Perhaps he had been a victim of Hankel as well, and that's what triggered his psychopathic nature.

He walked over and took out his belt.

- "What are you doing?"- he wrapped it around my arm, and I started begging him to stop.

- "It helps"- he took out of his pocket a needle and a small bottle of what seemed to be some kind of drug.

- "Don't tell my father. He doesn't know they are here."

- "Please, I don't want it, I don't want it, please"- I cried and begged.

- "It helps. I know"- it was the last thing Tobias said before the needle found my vein.

And he was right. It helped. Every single amount of pain I was feeling disappeared. My brain shut down. Somehow, everything was ok. I never had in my entire life felt so good before.

My mind kept flashing memories of when I was a kid. I kept seeing images of the day my father left and how he called my mother crazy.

- "You are weak"- mom spit those words after he refused to take me with him. I know she said it not because she didn't want me with her, but because mom knew she was sick and wanted the best for me. And he refused.

- "I'm not weak."- I whispered as I looked at her smiling back at me.

- "I know, honey."

I don't know how long I was drugged, but when I woke up, Tobias wasn't there with me anymore. It was his father.

And the torture continued.

(Y/N)'s point of view

Gideon was trying to convince me to go out with Prentiss and JJ to see a Narcotics anonymous's contact that might give us more information about Tobias. Emily had found some flyers about it in his room, and it could be the only lead we had to find him and Reid.

- "You need to get out of this house for a while"- he whispered and tapped on my back.

I knew he wasn't the one to be loving or physical with people, less with me. But that moved me. I turned to him and my eyes watered up. I was scared, and I couldn't hide it anymore. The more hours passed, the fewer the chances were to find Spencer safe. Alive.

I felt his arms around me suddenly, holding me tight, trying to keep the pieces of me together. We were alone on the porch, and though I didn't want to fall apart, I couldn't hold it anymore.

Jason didn't say a word. He just hugged me and let me cry for a few minutes. I didn't say anything either. I actually couldn't because I was overwhelmed with everything.

- "Are you ready, (Y/N)?"

Prentiss whispered as she walked over with JJ. I turned my back at them for a second to hide the tears that kept falling down my cheeks. I knew it was a shitty thing to do, 'cos it was obvious I had been sobbing, but they gave me the courtesy of not saying anything.

- "You go, I need (Y/N)'s assistance with some diary entries"- the two of them walked away quietly, and thankfully, didn't argue with Gideon.

- "Thank you,"- I whispered and felt his hand on my shoulder one more time.

- "You are doing a fantastic job,"- he said and turned around.

I wish I could tell you that made me feel better, but instead, I just thought I had the duty to bring my friend back home safe.

It had been at least an hour since the girls left. Morgan, Hotch, Gideon, and the police chief were in the living room with me, reading. I sipped my hundredth cup of coffee and re-read the same diary entry for the third time.

- "There's something weird going on here."- I thought out loud and walked towards Gideon

- "You think?"- the police chief turned to me and raised an eyebrow, ironically.

- "No, seriously, check this out. This journal is filled with religious ramblings. He notated hour by hour: "November 15th, 3:17, if ye offer a sacrifice of peace offering unto the Lord, ye shall offer it at your own will", and it goes on and on: 5:04, 7:41, 10:22, 1:42."

I made a short pause and looked at Gideon and Hotch. They didn't get where I was going.

- "But then, it goes blank for days."

- "Maybe he got sick of writing"- I seriously hated that police chief.

- "I think I got it"- Hotch whispered- "Journal entry: "December 6th. Father is sick. He wants me to put him down. I say thou shalt not kill. He said, honor thy father. Must pray for guidance."

- "So he kills his father as an act of mercy?"- Gideon asked, knowing the answer.

- "This is two months ago. Tobias Hankel's father had been dead for four months already."

- "That's exactly it"- I murmured, thinking Tobias Hankel was way more fucked up than we thought.

- "Look at the floor"- Derek pointed at a chair and moved it- "These scuffs marks are fresh. It's like two people were pushing the chairs constantly, trying to fight for control."

- "So?"- I swear to God, that chief was driving me insane.

- "This journal matches Charles Hankel's handwriting, but it was written after he died"- I explained. Still, it felt he wasn't following me.

- "What do you mean?"

- "Upstairs, Tobias' bedroom got junk piled from floor to ceiling, but the other bedroom could pass a military inspection."

- "So, are you telling me one of Tobias' personalities was his father?"

Apparently, I had to draw a picture so the chief would get it. Fortunately, Gideon continued explaining the whole problem before I lost what was left of my patience.

- "Well, Tobias was raised with a strict religious code, black and white, right and wrong. When his father asked Tobias to kill him, something had to give."

- "His brain couldn't handle the moral contradiction, so he split into two personalities to keep his father alive."

Hotch tried to put it most easy and simple words possible.

- "So, who is Raphael?"

- "My guess, he is a mediator between the two"- Gideon nodded at my words and sighed.

- "Angels have no human emotions, live or die. They don't care, as long it's God's will."

- "We need to start profiling Tobias' father. He may be the one who chose where to take Reid."

Finally, I felt we were going somewhere.

When Emily and JJ came back, they gave us the news. Tobias was addicted to Dilaudid, which explained the fracture in his mind, and how he lived with three distinct personalities.

The police chief announced a computer store robbery, giving us some hopes that Tobias would use them to track him down.

- "Guys!! Guys!! get in here!!- I heard Derek shouting and I ran to the computer room. I felt sick in the stomach in less than a second. There he was, Spencer. My Spencer Walter Reid, tied to a chair, bleeding, shoeless. Clearly tortured.

- "He's been beating,"- I whispered, feeling my eyes water up. I would have given anything to be there instead of him.

- "Can you track him?!"- JJ yelled by my side, and I nearly smacked her. That's how sensitive I was feeling.

- "Hankel's only streaming this to his home computer."- Garcia whispered. And my heart dropped with those words.

That wasn't what I was supposed to hear. We were supposed to find him and bring him back safe.

- "This is for us"- Gideon didn't take his eyes from the screen- "He knows we are here."

- "I'm gonna put this guy's head on a stick"- Morgan was so mad I believed him. I wanted to do the same, if worse.

- "I'm gonna kill him myself as soon as we find him,"- I said and felt Aaron's hand on my shoulder as he asked Garcia

- "Why can't you locate him?"

- "He's rerouting to a different IP address every 30 seconds. I can't track him."

It knew it had to be hard if Penelope couldn't find her, but that didn't help. If anything, it made everything worse. I felt powerless. Hankel couldn't be more intelligent than us.

Spencer's point of view

- "Are you ready, boy?"- Hankel pulled my hair and forced me to look at him. I was still as high as fuck, but knew I was about to be tortured again.

- "Ready for what?"

- "My weakling son thinks God gave you to him for a reason"- if the reason was to get me into drugs, then the answer was yes.

Hankel placed a video camera in front of me.

- "Can you really see inside men's minds?"- he asked me and made a pause, pointing to three screens- See these vermin?

It took me a second to realize he was showing me images of real people. He had put cameras in those people's houses. How? When? What kind of sick game did he want me to play with him?

- "Choose one to die. I let you choose one to live."

- "No"- I didn't even think about my answer.

- "I thought you wanted to be some kind of savior."

- "You are a sadist and a psychotic break. You won't stop killing. Your word is not true."

I don't know if it was because of the drugs or because I hadn't eaten or drank any water in too long, but I was somehow resigned and tired of fighting.

- "The other heathens are watching- Hankel announced and pointed at the camera in front of me."

My eyes fixated on the camera right away. My team was watching me. (Y/N) was watching me. I didn't want to make her worry even more. I needed her to know I was ok. I know I wasn't, but I didn't want her to worry about me.

- "Choose a sinner to die, and I'll say the name and address of the person to be saved"- Hankel was sick. It was all a game, and religion was just an excuse to kill.

- "I won't get to choose who gets slaughtered and have you leave their remains behind like a poacher."

Hankel didn't like my answer, 'cos he grabbed me and pulled me up, looking into my eyes, insulted, annoyed, losing his temper.

- "Can you really see into my mind, boy?"

He was honestly scary, and it petrified me to think he could execute me right there, in front of the team, and I could never tell them how much they mean.

- "Can you see I'm not a liar?!"- he insisted. I nearly whimpered but made my best not to break- "Choose one to die and save a life. Otherwise, they are all dead."

He dropped me on the chair and turned around. It was clear he wasn't joking. I took a deep breath and nodded.

- "Alright, I'll choose who lives."

- "They are all the same"

My eyes traveled across all the monitors. It was nearly impossible to pick one person to live, knowing all the other people there would die. Hankel was sick, and I had to set a plan to escape because otherwise, I would end up dead.

- "Far right screen,"- I whispered. He turned around and nodded.

Then, he recited the name and address of the woman on the screen. I prayed for the team to find her before Hankel came after her too.

No. It wasn't Hankel this time.

- "Raphael,"- I whispered, and he nodded. I looked at the screen again. The woman we were watching picked up the phone. She was in her kitchen. He walked around, frowned, and turned to her computer. In a second, she had turned it off. My team had reached her. She was safe, I hoped.

Hankel turned the camera off and looked at me.

- "You've done your part. Now it's my turn."

I knew what that meant. It wasn't good.

He left the cabin, and all I could see were the monitors in front of me. Those people were going to die. They were going to die because I didn't pick them. I killed them. You don't need to pull a trigger to kill someone. I could never forget those words. And this time, they meant more than anytime before. I didn't press a trigger, but I had killed two innocent people. And I actually had to watch them die.

When I saw Rapahel walk into the victims' house, I tried to close my eyes and think of anything else. A part of me kept thinking he wasn't going to kill them. He just wanted to threaten me.

But not. Raphael slaughtered them.

I found myself craving whatever it was that Tobias had given me the night before. The drug in my veins had given me a kind of peace I had never felt. And I never thought I'd have either. The type of peace that can be addictive, 'cos it turns your head off. And God knows, sometimes I needed to turn my head off.

Remembering everything that has ever happened to me, especially all the awful things, wasn't a gift. It was a burden. And whatever it was that Tobias had put in my veins, it had taken that burden from my shoulders, at least for a couple of hours.

Who wouldn't want some more of that peace?

- "Reid!"- Gideon's voice took me from my thoughts. He was sitting right in front of the camera in the victim's house. He was there with Hotch and the police, investigating the crime scene.

- "If you are watching this, you are not responsible for this. You understand me? he is perverting God to justify murder. You are stronger than him. He can not break you."

I know he meant it. But I couldn't believe any of that, not after watching a family get slaughter just because I didn't pick them.

(Y/N)'s point of view

- "I thought you were going to try and get some rest,"- I said as JJ walked to me in silence. I made myself my hundredth cup of coffee, and she just showed up next to me, trying to engage in conversation, I guess.

- "Everybody else is working. I should be too."

- "We can handle it,"- I whispered and refused to look at her. I swear I was trying not to hate her, but it was getting harder and harder with every hour that passed without finding Reid.

- "It's funny, I keep thinking the one thing we need to crack this case is... well... Reid"- she chuckled, nervously and I just looked at her and nodded. I didn't even smile. I didn't move a muscle.

I didn't want to be with her, or anyone, as a matter of fact. And I wasn't going to hide it anymore. So I tried to walk away.

- "You think Reid and I should have stayed together at the barn, don't you?"

I stopped walking and looked at her. You could tell she was having a hard time facing the whole situation, and most of all, you could tell she felt guilty.

That really didn't stop me from being mad at her. I was trying to be the better woman during the investigation, but the uncertainty was getting on my nerves.

- "JJ, go get some rest,"- I tried to answer calmly, but I knew I was looking at her like she was dead to me.

- "I can tell that's what you are thinking, so..."

- "I just wanna get Spencer home safe."

- "But... if I had his back like I was supposed to do, he'd be here now"- and that was enough.

- "JJ, what the fuck do you want from me?"

- "I just...."- she was about to cry, you could tell- "I want someone to tell me the truth."

- "You want the truth? Ok, there you go: I would have never left him alone. None of this would have happened if I had been the one with him out there! 'cos I would never let anyone or anything hurt him!!"

I shouted. All the anger I had been feeling those days was finally getting off my chest. And fuck, it felt good.

- "You fucked it up, JJ, and if something happens to Spencer, I am never going to forgive you, never!"

JJ bit her lips, trying her best not to cry. But I still couldn't feel sorry for her.

- "Is that the truth you were looking for?"

- "(Y/L/N)?"- Hotch stood next to me with the most annoyed look in his eyes.

I knew I was out of line, but this wasn't about work anymore. This was personal. This was Reid we were talking about, and JJ had fucked it up. There was nothing to discuss.

- "What? You sent him with her, now she is here, and he isn't. What else is there to say?"

- "(Y/N)!"- Hotch followed me as I stormed out of the kitchen and out of the cabin- "(Y/N)! stop!"

- "What?!"- and I simply snapped- "Are you gonna suspend me for telling her the truth? Are you going to fire me for losing my shit while working a case!? Fine! I don't care! I don't give a fuck! All I care about right now is that my best friend is missing, and a fucking psychopath has him! That's all I can think of. That's all I've been thinking about for the last two days!"

I was yelling at Hotch. I was yelling at my unit chief. I was fucked. I knew he was going to fire me after that. But I couldn't help it. I was going insane. Tears kept falling from my eyes as I held my cup of coffee tight, holding onto it with my life.

- "(Y/N), we are all worried about Reid."

- "I know you are all worried. I am too, and I'm also afraid and mad and going fucking insane knowing I am standing here not knowing what to do to save him."

- "That doesn't give you the right to treat JJ like this is her fault"- I don't know if he was talking like my unit chief or like a father figure trying to end a fight between two of his kids.

- "Did she stay with Reid?"- I simply replied and looked at Hotch in the eyes- "Did she?"

- "She is not the only one who feels guilty, so do I. And I know I won't forgive myself if anything happens to Reid."

Hotch made a pause and tried to find a way to say what he wanted to say. The door opened, and Gideon walked to us. He knew what was going on, and he didn't say a thing. I was sure he had already heard everything. We weren't actually arguing quietly.

- "We are not getting any closer,"- Aaron finally said.

- "Reid is brilliant. He'll figure out how to survive"- Gideon's words were way more hopeful than my thoughts. In my mind, Reid was too scared to think of a way to escape.

- "You know, I always take advantage of Reid for his brain. But I never actually teach him how to deal with things emotionally."

Hotch whispered, and his words were filled with regret. I was filled with anger and anxiety, and I know the two of them felt the same. But they way better at handling their feelings.

- "Lead by example,"- Jason answered, probably trying to make him feel better.

- "What kind of example is that?"- I simply replied, and both of them stayed in silence.

I don't think my words helped Hotch, but I wasn't trying to do that either. I was just honest. And Hotch's emotional assistance was shit on the field. Even Gideon was better.

- "He'll make it,"- Jason reassured us and nodded- "Now stop arguing and go back to work."

Spencer's point of view

I was glad when Tobias came to me that night with a needle in his hand and put the drug into my vein. I needed some release after watching a family die 'cos I didn't save them.

- "I'm sorry I had to leave"- he excused himself, preparing the drug next to me.

- "You can leave again, and you can take me with you,"- I begged in a soft voice.

- "My father would be angry,"- he replied and didn't even look at me. This time, I didn't even argue when he wrapped the belt around my arm. I was even a little eager he'd do it faster.

- "Not if he can't find us."

- "He always finds me."

- "If you tell me where we are, my friends will come, and they'll save us."

He gave me a look, mixed with horror and resignation. It broke my heart to think for a moment of all the horrors that lead Tobias to be as sick as he was.

- "We can't be saved,"- he simply replied.

- "We can, we can, I promise. If you tell me where we are, I'll save us both."

- "Listen to me. It's not worth fighting."

Somehow, I understood why he said that. I was afraid and shaking but still did my best not to think of all the pain I was in, of the terror that haunted me day and night.

- "Tell me it doesn't make it better- he said and showed me the needle."

I couldn't say no, 'cos he was right. It did. The drugs made his horrible situation bearable. I could understand why someone decided to use something to avoid the pain. I had faced all and each one of the pain and horrors in my life sober. It was time life was a little bit sweeter, in a sick way.

I remembered being twelve. Mom had had one of her episodes the day before, she was in bed, and I woke her up. I walked into her room and opened the curtains. It was already five in the afternoon, and she still refused to get out of bed.

- "The doctor says you need to get out of bed,"- I argued when she repeated she was just resting.

- "I've been reading"

- "He says you need exercise"- she sighed and tried to make a joke.

- "That's because his idea of good literature is Our bodies, ourselves."

- "Well, he is your doctor."

- "He is a neanderthal"- I gave up and started walking out of the room. She just laid in bed and looked at me.

- "Where are you going?"

- "I'm going to see if Jeff wants to play"- Jeff was our next-door neighbor and my only friend growing up.

- "Come here. Let me read to you."

I know Garcia made fun of me when I said my mother used to read me Valentine's sonnets when I was a kid. Most people think I have a weird relationship with mom, but they don't understand what it was like growing up with her. They don't know what it was like for a twelve-year-old boy to finish high school, facing bullies. Handling the pressure of being a kid genius and the fact I had to take care of a schizophrenic mother.

How come I didn't start using drugs earlier?

I remember that afternoon I sat next to my mother, and she made me pick one of the many books she had with her on the bed. I choose Proust. I knew she loved it. I loved it as well.

"For a long time, I used to go to bed early. Sometimes, when I had put out my candle, my eyes would close so quickly that I had not even time to say, "I'm going to sleep."

I can still hear her voice, reading to me. Both of us avoided reality for a while, hiding in the books. I always do it regardless. I hide in the books to forget. I hide in knowledge to avoid acknowledging the real personal issues I have. I hide in my work saving people when no one ever saved me.

I work catching psychopaths when I know I might actually have a mental issue myself. I might end up just like mom, and it frightens me so much; there are many nights I can't even close an eye. If I get sick too, then no one will take care of her. I am the only one in her life. And she is the only one in mine.

She and (Y/N), but there is no way my best friend would ever take care of me if I got sick. Not because she wouldn't want to do it, but because I would never let her. I don't want to be a burden in her life. And she would hate me, I know. And I could never live in a world where (Y/N) hates me. Not then, not now.

(Y/N). She is the best thing that happened to me in the BAU. Yes, I had a family with my team, but she was different. She was my life. She was the reason why I smiled. She was the one person that made me feel I was important to someone. I knew the rest of my friend loved me, but I loved her.

That was it. I loved (Y/N). And I was scared I was never going to see her again.

(Y/N)'s point of view

I was standing next to Penelope. She kept trying to force me to eat. She knew I was living on coffee, but I just couldn't swallow anything. She held my hand as the two of us stared at the screens, hopefully waiting for Hankel to make contact again.

- "Any more signs of Reid?"- JJ walked over to us slowly and looked at me, afraid I might snap on her again. I just shook my head and sighed, doing my best to be nice to her.

- "He just posted the last murder online."

- "It had over 17 thousand hits in the first twenty minutes,"- Penelope added, and her voice was so full of revulsion. It was clear she couldn't handle the horror in the human mind.

- "I want to see it,"- JJ said, and I frowned, confused.

- "No, you don't,"- Garcia answered and looked at me- "Come on, munchkin, just eat one cookie, please."

- "Don't tell me what I want and don't want!"- JJ's tone shocked us both. She was severe and angry. She was rude at Penelope, and for a second, I almost snapped again.

- "If I can't watch this..."- JJ whispered and glued her eyes on the screen- "I have no business being in the field."

She looked at me when she was done talking, and for once during those awful days, I felt some kind of compassion for her. She had to be feeling like shit, no doubt, and no matter how mad I was at her, she was still my friend, and I didn't want her to suffer either.

- "JJ, it's not a competition,"- I tried to say in the softest voice possible.

- "I... I need to see it."

- "If you stop being affected by things, you lose parts of yourself, you know."

It was somehow ironic that I was the one saying those things. Me of all people in that team. Me, the one who was afraid the most of losing herself in work.

- "Show me"- she finally looked at Garcia, ignoring my words, and Penelope pleased her. She pushed play and simply said

- "I won't watch this with you."

García held my hand, walking me out of the room, leaving JJ alone in the room. She sighed and wiped the tears that started falling down her eyes.

- "I don't know how you do it either"- she whispered- "I don't know how you watch those things every day and don't go insane."

- "If it makes you feel better, I don't know how I do either, and it scared me to think my heart might be numbing with each case we solve. With every psychopath we catch."

- "We are gonna find him"- she assured me and held my hands tight- "We are bringing him home safe, I swear."

- "Let's go find Gideon,"- I said, nodding at her words- "He needs to know Tobias posted the last murder."

Jason was mad, beyond furious. He was losing it. Derek and Prentiss kept trying to crack Hankel and discover where he had taken Reid. Meanwhile, Garcia, Gideon, and I made our best to take the video of the murder from the web.

- "I have a list of everyone from the file-sharing chain. I could send out a mass warning that the video is actually a virus,"- Garcia said and started typing as fast as possible. I just stared at the screen, waiting for something, anything to happen.

But I wasn't waiting for what came next.

- "Confess your sins"- Hankel's voice made me jump, and the sight of Reid, still tied to that chair, bleeding, and being tortured, broke my heart again.

- "Confess!!"- that sick psychopath shouted and hit him.

- "I haven't done anything,"- Spencer sobbed, but it was useless. Hankel kept punching him, over and over again, even when my best friend begged for mercy.

I felt Jason hold my hand as I was holding Garcia's. The three of us felt powerless, useless, angry, and scared, all at the same time. I couldn't bear to watch Reid being tortured, but at the same time, I was so glad he was still alive.

That until Hankel beat him so hard, he pushed him back in the chair, and Reid started convulsing.

- "He is killing him,"- Penelope cried, and I closed my eyes, biting my lips. Spencer was choking, and that mother fucker just stood there, watching him die.

- "That's the devil vacating your body"- he spit those words as Reid simply passed out. I didn't know if he was dead. I didn't know if he was going to make it. Shit! I didn't know anything.

I let go of Jason and Penelope and stormed out of the room. I was unprofessional, and I knew it, but I knew I would quit if anything happened to Reid. I wasn't going to stay working at the BAU if Spencer died.

- "Are you ok?"- Derek grabbed my arm. I just broke into tears and held him tight. He wrapped his arms around me and let me cry.

- "He's dying! We can't find him!!"- I sobbed against his chest.

- "(Y/N)! (Y/N)!"- I heard Penelope yelling as we all rushed back to the computer room. Hankel was giving CPR to Reid, trying to bring him back to life.

- "Come on, come on, please,"- I begged as I watched him pushing his chest over and over again until Spencer woke up, gasping for air.

- "Thank God!"- Hotch sighed and rubbed his hands against his face. The whole team let out a breath of relief simultaneously, and I kept watching Reid. His opened eyes gave me hope.

- "Wait,"- Prentiss said suddenly- "When was the video of the last murder posted?"

- "Nine thirty"- Penelope answered

- "And when was the time of death?"

- "The 911 call came in at 9:04, and the murder must have been moments later."- Hotch added and didn't even turn to look at Prentiss. We were all still shocked looking at the screen.

- "That's just a 19 minutes difference,"- I said and turned to García- "How long would it take to post that file?"

- "Two or three minutes."

- "Let's call it two,"- I said, getting excited- "You figure a maximum of 60 miles an hour in a residential area. That means Hankel has to be within a 17-mile radius of the crime scene."

For a second, I felt I was rambling facts just like Reid would. It made me miss him even more.

- "García, can we see it on the map?"- Aaron whispered. He was clearly affected, and it also made me feel selfish, knowing I had made a tantrum with the whole team, forgetting they were suffering as well.

- "Call chief Farraday"- Jason commanded as soon as we saw the map of the area on the screen- "I want that area locked down like it's martial law."

JJ stood up and grabbed her phone but didn't make the call. García warned us something was going on with Reid and all of us stared at the screen in silence.

Spencer was on his back on the floor, still tied to a chair. It was clear he wasn't fully conscious of what was happening.

- "You came back to life,"- mother fucker Hankel said, spitting the words in anger.

- "Raphael,"- Reid whispered, recognizing one of his personalities.

- "There can be only one of two reasons."

- "I was given CPR,"- my friend whispered, but it was clear that wasn't one of the psycho's options.

- "There are no accidents. How many members of our team are watching us right now?"

- "Seven."

- "The seven angels who had the seven trumpets prepared themselves to sound. The first sounding followed hail, and they were thrown to the earth."

- "He thinks it's the revelations"- Hotch explained- "The seven archangels versus the seven angels of death."

I didn't know much about religion, but it didn't take a genius to figure out he didn't believe we were the good guys.

- "Tell me who you serve."

- "I serve you,"- Reid answered right away. His voice was a whisper. He had to be exhausted.

- "Then choose one to die"

- "What?!"

- "Your team members, choose one to die"- I knew what he was going to answer at that, and I didn't want to hear it.

- "Kill me,"- he replied immediately, and I closed my eyes, unable to watch what would happen next.

- "You said you weren't one of them."

- "I lied."

- "Your team has seven other members. Tell me who dies."

- "No"- Penelope gasped, and Prentiss cursed. I opened my eyes and nearly fainted. Hankel had a gun pointed against Reid's forehead.

The silence amongst the team was unbearable. Neither of us knew what to do. We were all panicking, praying, desperate.

- "Choose and prove you'll do God's will."

- "No."

Neither of us moved. Neither of us breathed until Hakel pulled the trigger, and no bullet came out. I nearly sigh, but it wasn't over.

- "Choose"- he repeated

- "I won't do it"- Hankel didn't even wait. He just pulled the trigger, and we all jumped at the same time. He was safe again.

- "Life is a choice."

- "No,"- Reid repeated once again. And Hankel pulled the trigger for the third time.

- "Choose"- and for the first time, Spencer made a pause. Was going to pick one of us to die?

- "I choose"- the whispered- "Aaron Hotchner."

Derek and I looked at him, and his pale face didn't move a muscle.

- "He's the classic narcissist. He thinks he's better than everyone else on the team. Genesis 23:4 "Let him not deceive himself, and trust in emptiness, vanity falseness, and futility, for these shall be his recompense."

Hotch stormed out of the room as Hankel pulled the trigger one more time and shot the wall.

I felt I was going to puke. If Reid hadn't picked one of us, he would be dead.

- "For God's will,"- the mother fuck said, as he put another bullet in the gun after removing the casing.

I couldn't look anymore. I followed Gideon and Derek to find Aaron going through all Tobias's diaries on the table.

- "I'm not a narcissist,"- he said as soon as he saw us.

- "Come on. Look, you can't think anything from that"- Jason tried to calm him down, in case he was somehow affected by what Reid had just said on camera- "He is not in his right mind, Hotch."

- "No, stop, stop. Alright, everybody, right now: what's my worst quality?"

He had to be kidding. We all stared at him, muted, lost in that conversation. What was his point? Neither of us said a word. We just looked at each other, confused and awkward.

- "Ok, I'll start. I have no sense of humor."

- "You are a bully,"- JJ added.

- "You can be a drill sergeant sometimes,"- I said, and he nodded.

- "Right."

- "You don't trust women as much as men"- you could feel it in Prentiss's voice. That one was personal.

- "Ok, good. I'm all these things, but none of you said that I ever put myself above the team because I don't, ever. Reid and I argued about the definition of classic narcissism, and he knew that I would remember that. He also quoted Genesis chapter 23, verse 4. Read it."

Hotch gave me the book. He wasn't even breathing as she spoke. He was in a hurry. We were all.

- "I'm a stranger and a sojourner with you. Give me property, forbear a place among you that I may bury my dead of my sight."

- "He wouldn't get it wrong unless it were on purpose."

- "He is in a cemetery."- I said and looked at him. He nodded, and I swear to God, I saw a slight smile on his lips. That smile was hope. We were getting closer.

Spencer's point of view

I took a sip of water. I hadn't drunk in days, and my throat burned. I was still a little lost, still a little off.

- "Tobias, is that you?"- I saw him nod, sitting next to me. He moved the cup of water closer so that I could drink some more.

- "Thank you,"- I whispered and looked at him- You saved my life- he stared down at the ground and finally whispered

- "I'm sorry."

- "Why?"

- "He'll win in the end."

It was sad to see Tobias Hankel's good person locked inside a sick mind that also held a psychopath like his father.

- "Tobias, I need to know something. It's important. Are we in a cemetery?"- and he nodded. I smiled at him and sighed, relieved. Help was coming. My team was coming.

- "I used to come here to get high."

- "I was right."

- "No one bothers you here. I never told anyone about it."

He wrapped his belt around my arm, and I turned to him, still smiling. I didn't know if I were happy I was right or glad I would get high again. Maybe both. Maybe the second 'cos the minute that needle got to my vein, that sweet, sweet release felt like a bath of joy that washed away any pain, regret, or guilt I could have ever felt.

Guilt. I've had my share of that. I remember the day I had my mom admitted to the hospital. She hadn't eaten in days. She wouldn't take care of herself, and they're just so much I could do. I wasn't able to keep her safe from herself, from her mind.

- "What are these men doing here?"- she asked me as I walked with two nurses into the study. She was writing and reading. It was all she did, preparing lectures for classes she didn't have to give, in imaginary campuses.

I stood in front of her and hesitated for a second. It was the hardest thing I had ever done, telling mom I was taking her away from her own house.

- "They are from the hospital. They are here to help,"- I whispered and looked at my mother's confused expression. She was so thin. She looked so sick. I felt so guilty I couldn't do better for her.

- "I don't need help, and you can't be here without permission, tell them, Spencer."

She looked down at her books again and tried to continue writing. I took a deep breath, I knew I would break her heart, but there was nothing else I could do.

- "I called them"- she looked at me in pain. Deep, honest pain. Like I had just shattered her heart. Which I had done.

- "Spencer"- she simply whispered and stared into my eyes, begging for an explanation. I was trying my best not to cry. I had a whole speech prepared. I was going to tell her how much I loved her. I was going to explain to her how good it was for her to be in a place where someone could continuously take care of her. I had facts and statistics, but all I managed to say was:

- "I'm doing this for you."

And I felt like a liar. 'Cos, there was a part of me that was doing it for myself too.

- "This isn't legal"- she shook her head in shock and kept trying to find a good explanation to what was going on.

- "Your son is eighteen, ma'am. He can act in your welfare,"- one of the make nurses explained to her.

- "You need help,"- I said and prayed she could understand. But she just burst into tears and begged.

- "I wanna stay here!"

- "I'm... sorry, mom."

- "Please, these are my things, this is my life..."

Those men took her. They took her from her house and put her in a hospital. No. I put her there. I put my mom in a hospital so I could live my life, 'cos I am selfish and couldn't take care of her anymore.

- "Spencer, please, don't do this to me."

Those were the words that haunted me day and night. And my mother's crying face, begging me not to take her from her own house.

What kind of a son am I? I did that to her. I put her in a mental place 'cos I couldn't deal with her disease anymore. 'Cos I didn't know how to take care of her.

- "What are you sorry for, boy?"- I heard Hankel ask when I woke up. I was muttering, "Sorry" as I came back from my trip.

- "I sent her away."

- "Who."

- "My mom. I couldn't help her."

- "Is that a confession?"- I nodded and looked around, confused. Lost. High- "You know the bible. Exodus 21:17"

- "And he that curseth his father or his mother shall surely be put to death,"- I whispered, scared and full of regret.

I heard him walk towards me. He kneeled and uncuffed me. I didn't know what was happening. Honestly, I was still too high to get what was going on around me.

- "Grab a shovel,"- he commanded and walked outside.

I was too weak to dig fast. I don't know how I was actually moving, but I was digging my own grave. I never thought I would ever end up doing such a thing. It's not something you think about, actually. Not unless you work in the BAU. Here, you start analyzing and considering the way you'll die: 'Cos you could, every day.

- "I ought to bury you alive in there, give you some time to think about what you've done,"- Hankel said and looked at me while I worked, playing with a knife.

- "I know what I've done."

- "Don't talk back to me! Dig!"

I pant and kept moving, very slowly, trying to buy myself some time too. I was sure the team was coming to get me any minute now. I was counting on them, though the more I thought about it, the less worthy of salvation I felt. Maybe I deserved to die after all.

I was almost certain I had seen some lights moving in the back. Flashlights. But it could be my mind playing tricks on me. I was too tired. And still too high, too.

- "Dig faster!"- he commanded me as I moved, losing my breath.

- "I'm not strong enough"- I cried, 'cos I felt like that. Like a failure, a child that aimed to be a grown-up and failed miserably. A bad son. The worst agent. A fake that deserved to die.

- "You are all weak!! Get out of there!"

Hankel took off his coat and left it on the ground. I slowly moved so he could dig for me, but the lights in the back took my attention, and he noticed. As soon as he turned around, I quickly grabbed his coat and reached out for the gun.

- "You've only got one bullet, son,"- he said as he looked at me. And I just pulled the trigger.

I shot him. I killed him. Hankel. Raphael. Tobias. I freed Tobias. Or at least, that is what I wanted to think.

- "Reid!!"- I heard (Y/N) yelling as I crawled to Tobia's body. He was still awake. He was himself.

- "You killed him"- he said, and he was relieved- "Do you think I'll get to see my mom again?"

- "I'm sorry,"- I whispered, and he was gone.

- "Reid!!"

(Y/N) yelled and ran over. She kneeled next to me and held me in her arms. I couldn't move, because for a few seconds, I couldn't believe she was real. She was there.

- "Honey, honey, are you ok? Can you hear me?"- she said, and tears started falling from her eyes- "Honey, it's me."

I just looked at her and hugged her. I hugged her as my life depended on it. There she was, next to me, finally.

- "I thought I was never going to see you again,"- I whispered and sobbed.

The urge to kiss her filled my whole body. I needed to taste her. I needed to show her how much I had needed her those days. But I knew I couldn't.

I didn't want to let her go. I didn't for a few minutes. I just hold onto her for my sanity. She kissed my forehead, cupping my face with both hands.

- "I'm so happy to see you. I'm glad you are ok... let's go to the ambulance, ok?"- I nodded but didn't let her go. I felt I could hold her forever. I wanted to keep her close for as long as I lived.

But the rest of the team gathered around us, and I wanted to thank them too. I needed to thank Hotch. So as soon as I let (Y/N) go, I wrapped my arms around him.

- "You alright?"- he asked me.

- "I knew you'd understand,"- I managed to say with tears falling from my eyes and a knot in my throat.

For a moment, I thought I was never going to see the team again. My family.

JJ held me close and apologized. I knew she felt guilty for leaving me alone, but I was the only one culpable for what had happened. I wanted to prove myself, and all I managed to do was prove I was a fool. A useless SSA.

- "It's alright, it wasn't your fault,"- I said and did my best to smile at her. But I know I failed. Gideon grabbed my arm and nodded.

- "Let's get you out of here."

- "Please,"- I whispered before we started walking- "Can I have a second alone?"- he looked at me and nodded, looking at Tobias' body lying by our side. He walked away, and I kneeled next to my capturer.

But instead of paying my respects, instead of cursing. Instead of anything, I took the Dilaudid bottles from his pocket and put them into mine.

And that's how the real hell started.

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General Taglist

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Next update: May 5th, 2021

#Spencer Reid #criminal minds #spencer reid fanfic #babymetaldoll writes #cm fanfic #criminal minds fanfic #Emily prentiss #Aaron Hotchner #jennifer jareau #derek morgan #penelope garcia #emily prentiss #babymetaldoll edits #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfiction

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