#white woman jumpscare at the end

[pmakuma]

10 / 25 / 23

you look me dead in the eyes right now and tell me fiona isn't absolutely broken

[squuote]

Who on earth is mariella...

^ THIS THING

[thelakesuite]

The Rusty Lake Story in Bitchass Baby Terms

this is ALL off the top of my head (and i haven't experienced like 10% of it maybe?) so i might be wrong but i don't care right now

the lake itself isn't, like, that well established 'cause it's a mystery game or something so we don't need full exposition. it's some deity-like thing as old as the mammoths (not canon) that eats time. or rather memories that are stored in lil cubes. and it gives its zookeepers immortality so they can keep feeding it. they call themselves the Rulers of the Lake but we all know the truth. 'immortality', or rather enlightenment, is represented by you becoming your fursona and living maybe an extra century. mr. owl's looking for a new heir pretty quick in the process but we'll get to that.

corrupted souls are kinda a byproduct of all this. truly the lake's farts. when a person dies horribly, when their memories get extracted wrong, or when the plot demands it, they become corrupted. corrupted souls still talk, and some of them are even sensible (like your mom oooooh), but generally they're jumpscare beasts or wet little puppies. sometimes both. yes you can get corrupted when you're enlightened, and right now it's the more likely outcome actually. there's a whole 'elixir of immortality' that gets harped on, where one drinker gets corrupted and the other gets enlightened, but that is literally only a thing for roots and a little bit of cave so don't worry about it too much. unless you're making dramatic fanart in which case leverage that shit.

cubes come up a lot in cube escape, believe it or not! black ones are bad memories, white ones are good memories, blue ones are connected to the past in a way that's somehow not a memory, gold ones are connected to the future, red ones only exist in my fangame that ellesian recently unearthed, and green ones are jello yum. also suck it anyone who told me pre-tpw the gold cube thing was unestablished. anyway. it was a big thing mr.'s owl and crow were working on, creating a golden cube (presumably to extend their own lives) as seen in cave, but then one just kinda appears in the past within when albert does electric jujitsu. jury is still out on that.

onto the actual narrative i think.

in paradise, you're mr. owl pre-owling (1790-something). the lake's current suckass servants are your family who tried to sacrifice you to it way back, but your mom took your place for mom reasons. now mom's corrupted and guiding you to... well, to get sacrificed for real this time. but with your powers combined (yes mr. owl was two people, no it is never addressed) you get enlightened and tell your family to fuck off 'cause you're building a hotel on that island now. you also get a tease in the secret ending that dale and laura will do a similar fusion dance to be the lake's next suckass. we've been waiting 6 years for that to happen.

in roots, two alchemist brothers get that elixir shit going (1860-1935). one of them becomes mr. crow, while the other becomes a playable character for a game. and corrupted. you rope your whole bloodline into this, harvesting their body parts (usually after they die from other means, but you totally caused most of their deaths) for a reincarnation ritual involving a magic seed (that also only exists for this game). this is where the best characters come from because rusty lake actually wanted to tell a story with this game. you reincarnate into a woman! don't think about the implications.

in samsara room, the inside scoop of reincarnation is fuckin' weird, dude (1935). the original was made before rusty lake began, so it's not truly part of the narrative, but it got folded in for the fifth anniversary.

in hotel, you do not get the backstory of the third bird man (1890ish). instead, you get to kill mr. owl's family again, but one-on-one as animal people. how did they become animal people? fuck you that's how! mr. owl probably did it on purpose to spite them with shit sandwiches and bullets to the brain. oh, also, there might be an evil twin of mr. rabbit that shows up later.

in arles, you're vincent van gogh. that's it. he's not relevant. but it is funny seing the death date of paul gauguin in the timeline docs.

we're talking about the past within later but the 'past' segment takes place around here. 1926 iirc?

in birthday, your parents get shot (1939). you're going to be an important detective, dale, but like right now you're getting traumatized. or rather you're experiencing that memory, then doing blue cube magic to fix it and have your grandpa shoot evil mr. rabbit instead. is your grandpa actually mr. crow? no. shut up about it now.

in underground blossom, your mom gets abducted (1935-1972 maybe). okay, well, not you. this is the laura backstory metaphor game but you're actually playing as the third bird man who is both her stepdad and her pet. and her grandpa albert takes her mom rose for his own nefarious reincarnation schemes maybe probably. rose is surprisingly okay with it but characters rarely put up a fight with the plot anyway. laura's a lonely kid, starts dating robert, picks up art to soothe her nightmares, gets murked, then reaches some kind of epiphany that we just train ride away from before finding out what actually happens. she's your daughter, damnit, you should support her transcendence. not enlightenment importantly. also, no, laura's life didn't literally happen at train stops, it's just a vehicle. not even a pun don't fucking laugh i see you snickering.

in seasons, you set up a really interesting plotline that gets utterly countered by everything that came after (1960's-80's). it's just laura time in there, and she uncorrupts herself, thank you very much. the series has been struggling with how laura gets her corrupted self to 1980-whatever, and so far only one other game's even taken place after 1972. and that game's the past within which also counters every other plotline. sigh. maybe we're not smart enough for these puzzle games. at least harvey's cute and bird-shaped. key point that's impossible to fuck up is that laura dies in 1972, and it's unclear whether it was a murder or suicide. that's why we get a detective.

in harvey's box and the lake, uh i don't know really (1969). these are early games that are basically spinoffs of seasons. they help with the overarching stuff but aren't much for the narrative at this point. also they suck

in case 23, dale starts investigating laura's death and gets wrapped up in the lake stuff (1972). it was supposed to be just another murder case, but he got too into it and it got too into him, so he gets teleported to the lake chapel and ferried off to. somewhere idk. he goes into an elevator that takes him down memory lane to the lake floor.

in the mill, mr. crow is really trying to clean house before dale gets here (1972). this is where laura gets her ass corrupted by mr. crow, and we find out how the lake eats memories or whatever. it's supposed to overlap with case 23 and it almost succeeds. whatever skrunk is still there is forgiveable, this was the flash era after all.

in theatre, dale learns about ripoff hinduism, goads a man into suicide, and abandons his darling toilet fetus son (1971). it's like birthday again, where this is a memory we're seeing, but that is a light distinction. robert kills himself at the bar, and we take his memories for legal reasons. there's some sixfold wheel we learn about that doesn't matter much.

in the cave, mr. crow still cleans house before dale gets to the Magic Memory Machine (1972). mr. owl's kinda sorta dying, and dale's been elected his son or something. gotta get his mindmeats. you read a textbook about cubes, pilot a submarine to the lakefloor, put dale and laura in a surrogate fusion dance machine, then give dale the golden cube it makes before sending him up the elevator again. hotel did imply something serious was gonna happen when he gets to the top, but that was eight years ago. the devs probably forgot and fell too in love with albert vanderboom in the meantime.

in the white door, robert unkills himself and gets wrong psychiatry (1972). as it turns out, mr. owl has a front business running a for-profit psych ward to extract totally good and healthy memories from people. this one is an actual factual spinoff but is kinda relevant for the greater rusty lake metropolitan area.

in paradox, fuuuuuuuck who knows maaaan, isn't it all just a metaphor? (1972). there's a consensus that none of the stuff that happens in paradox actually happens, and that it's all in dale's head while he's in the Magic Memory Machine from cave. even though there's five different endings, he kinda walks away at the end, which might be the worst ending of the lot. the information's solid though; mr. owl spells out the whole heir thing, there's bits of backstory for dale and laura everywhere. also the movie's sick.

in the past within, albert becomes a mechanical engineer for the sole purpose of making plot armor (1926/1984). yeah, remember that guy from roots? the voodoo murderer who got third-hand alchemy information to make up for his lack of pussy? yeah, he invented a time machine decades ago. and he enlisted his daughter to talk to her past/future self to grow him back to life in 1984. with a gold cube that he somehow got. and somehow his scar is genetically coded in him. and we don't see his wiggly lineart dick. what does he do in 1984? trap his daughter in a time loop then who the fuck knows. he's stuck in his jumpscare beast ways from being corrupted for so long. how did he get corrupted when he was literally buried in the ground and salvaged bones from? next game!

there's an ARG that i never saw a thing of because i hated it, best kept memory. from what i gathered, it was another front scheme for memory harvesting, except in the 2000's. does that mean it's enlightened dale/laura doing this one, since mr. owl presumably passed on the title then turned into a fish? i'd like to know too!

also, a chapter of underground blossom i haven't completed, and a paper-based game coming out within the next two years or whatever. i don't know how much they'll clear up.

toodles!

[razzafrazzle]

been thinkin about... little shop of horrors alt pantheon au.........

[image description: a page of drawings of four original characters, rusty, chela, sadie, and sara, as characters from little shop of horrors. rusty, a tan-skinned woman with medium-length dark blonde hair, is seymour, and is looking nervous while carrying sara, a large cherry-like plant with sharp teeth, as audrey 2. there are two other drawings of sara, one where she has her mouth open, and another where she is a sprout. next to rusty is chela, a lanky pale-skinned woman with short teal hair and round glasses, as orin, dancing with the text "white woman jumpscare" written next to her. finally is sadie, a bulky demon woman with short purple hair, as audrey, who is waving shyly at the viewer with her other arm in a sling. end id]

[arcsin27]

Reviewing all the stories in junji ito maniac because I can, fuck you :)

The strange hikizuri siblings - uhh okay. Not scary nothing even happened. Okay a guy was a jealous simp, little kids are just like that, some guy threw up bread dough ig, then a ghost stared at everyone for a while and dipped the end

The story of the mysterious tunnel - Jesus Christ that was pretty spooky what the hell. Lost my marbles when he assumed the drop was water, and the kid in the ceiling fucked me up with her voice (dub) and screams

Ice cream bus - im never eating ice cream again. Jokingly compared the driver to William afton fnaf in the beginning but he was somehow worse. The dad pushing the kid away jumpscared me, then horrified me, and I needed a break from the show

Hanging balloon - so absurd it was kinda funny. The nonlinear storytelling added a bit if spook as I slowly realized who was at the window but idk the concept was just funny to me. Also I was so happy someone finally showed up to a horror plot strapped until I saw the result. Sorry random Chad with a crossbow, wish you coulda helped…

Four x four walls - thought something horrific would happen outside and he wouldn’t hear it but it didn’t, thought soichi was famous for being scary but he wasnt, I think this was like a comic relief in episode form. No spook, kinda funny

The sandman’s lair - *laughs nervously* what the fuck. No clue what happened, why would you tape yourselves like that, let me see his dream form damnit, the nature of humanity is we reinvent homestuck etc

Intruder - these kids are based tbh. Balls of steel, don’t blame the redhead, just move on with their lives

Long hair in the attic - also based, i had wondered where her head had gone but i shoulda known by the title, that grinding sound pissed me off tho

Mold - thank. God. It was in black and white. I choose to believe its dust. Also idc about culture or taboo if your floor is coated in inches of ropes and pools of mold just wear your damn shoes. Jesus Christ

Library vision - this one felt like it was calling out all of my anxieties about losing the things and memories precious to me. Also 10/10 Sean chiplock that final recital of hell of thorns was incredible and spooky. Also what the fuck was the ending

Tomb town - im never driving again. Also just call the cops surely you get a reduced sentence for actually reporting the crime. Other than that not scary lol

Layers of terror - im never picking my skin again. god ALMIGHTY why did i bear witness to this. Fuck that mom bro she sucks. I was thinking about how the proportions of human anatomy change as you age and how a toddler with such short limbs and a thick torso could fit inside an adult but uh… then they answered my question. And then it got worse. Funnily enough the 2yo looked like a monster id design

The thing that drifted ashore - was this supposed to be scary…? Oh boy they turned into fish people and promptly fucked off good for them ig

Tomie • photo - wow what bitches lmfao. Idk why she has a face growing out of her scalp hut I didn’t need to see the removal process. Or how botched the removal process was. Based that the photographer just fuckin moved on. “Damnit the blood ruined my pictures :/“ incredible.

Unendurable labyrinth - probably woulda been scarier if they were lost for longer but to me it looked like they took five steps, found the brother, seven steps, “aaaah we’re lost,” two steps, “theyre looking at me!” then suddenly the mummies have eyes, fade to black. Cool

The bully - I was sooo ready for retribution, then I got reconciliation and got even happier, then it turned into child abuse and I wanted to kill a bitch

Alley - pfft idk if its based that she killed those kids or not but it was extra based that they got revenge on her lmao shoulda brought a ladder bro

Headless statue - Jesus fuck that’s gross. Stop it. Also smash the statues again it worked brilliantly earlier. Or maybe jump out a window idk

Whispering woman - mega based. The nervous girl gains support and confidence, the attendant is freed from her abusive friend, the abusive friend gets violently killed, its just wins all around

Soichi’s beloved pet - once again a comic relief episode but tbh it was pretty funny, soichi was a lot less hateable this time too!

[lovelytsunoda]

hot n cold // esteban ocon

summary: two years of drama, adrenaline and a doomed friends-with-benefits relationship with esteban ocon are shaping up to be the death of olympic archer y/n szafnauer as she finds herself off the archery circuit with a wrist sprain. the relationship wasn't supposed to mean anything. until y/n szaufner wishes that it would, wishes that esteban would just tell her how he really feels.

pairing: esteban ocon x female szafnauer!reader

warnings: a few small smut scenes. miscommunication and pining. fernando, daniil and oscar being done with everybody's bullshit. pregnancy scare is integral to the plot. slight lawrence stroll jumpscare. existential crisis as y/n worries about her future and the teenage years she feels like she never had, a little bit of toxicity on either end of the relationship. jack and oscar being loveable dipshits, fernando being a disappointed father. otmar being the really disappointed father.

2021 Season

she appeared in the paddock in a flurry of skinny jeans, heeled sandals and and a cropped camp shirt in british racing green, open over her black, lacy bralette. her eyes were hidden behind rose-gold sunglasses, a metal straw in between her lips as she sipped her caramel iced coffee.

esteban ocon and daniil kvyat were sitting outside the alpine hospitality suite, the reserve driver laughing as esteban's jaw dropped, his eyes following the woman as she stopped to talk to laurent rossi, the team principal.

"close your mouth, ocon." daniil laughed. "you'll catch flies."

"who is that?" esteban asked, nodding in the woman's direction. "she's beautiful."

"that's y/n szafnauer, otmar's daughter. she was on america's olympic archery team."

"i didn't realize that otmar had a daughter. he's not that old, is he?"

daniil shrugged, thinking about the aston martin team principal. "he's pushing sixty, i thought."

"how old is the daughter?" esteban asked, reaching for his phone to punch her name into the search bar. "quick question: how do you spell szafnauer?"

the reserve driver sighed, knowing exactly where his colleague's mind was going. "esteban, that is not a road that you want to go down, comrade."

"but look at her, mate. she's so hot."

he glanced at the screen, reading the first headline that appeared underneath the google box with her name, accolades and birth date: szafnauer to miss milwaukee open following vegas wrist injury.

"esteban ocon, if you know what is good for you, you will not flirt with otmar's daughter. promise me."

esteban rolled his eyes as he made the promise with daniil.

a promise that the fully intended to break. because y/n szafnauer had him under her spell, and they hadn't even had a full conversation yet.

on the other end of the paddock, y/n was walking up the steps of the aston martin hospitality, giving lawrence stroll a hug as she tried to find her father.

"lawrence, have you seen dad?"

the team owner laughed, gesturing to the offices in the back of the building. "he's in a meeting with the engineers, but he should be done in under half an hour. how's the off season?"

she shrugged, thinking about the bow and arrow at the back of her closet. the way her fingers itched to be back around the slender body of an arrow. lawrence didn't miss the way that her pointer finger nervously tapped the side of her plastic starbucks cup.

"you know how it is. there's not really an off season for us like there is for you guys. always looking to the future."

"well, i wish you the best of luck, y/n."

"you too, lawrence." she nodded, slowly backing away, as she would have felt awkward being the first to exit the conversation with the stroll patriarch.

she waled through the brightly-lit hospitality building, the sun reflecting off the bright white walls as she knocked on the door to her father's office.

"hey kiddo." otmar szafnauer smiled, glancing up from his laptop. "how's the wrist?"

"still sprained. i don't know if i'm going to be able to get back on the circuit this year." she admitted sadly, slumping don in one of the chairs opposite her father's desk. "i don't know what to do, dad. i don't know who i am without archery."

"you could always travel with us for a little bit." otmar suggested, thinking about the girl across from him, remembering when she was just a twelve year old who picked up a bow and arrow at summer camp and never looked back. he remembered standing there at the olympic medal ceremony, watching his daughter stand on the podium with a large bouquet of flowers and a gold medal around her neck, and he wished that he didn't have to see her look so defeated.

y/n snorted. "yeah right. the doctors said i was supposed to relax. what part of this lifestyle is realxing? i'm surprised you haven't had a heart attack yet."

"knock on wood, young lady." otmar said jokingly, rapping his knuckles on the surface of his desk. "a change of scenery might do you some good. all the guys love having you around. you just need to find a way back to yourself, darling. you need to find the y/n that you are when you don't have a bow in your hand."

"and what if she died when i was sixteen, dad?"

"and what if she didn't?"

y/n laughed, knowing exactly what her father was doing. "come on, dad. i'll stay for two weeks, until my next follow up appointment, if that will make you happy." she nodded her head back towards the door. "have you told lawrence that you're thinking of leaving yet."

otmar shook his head, casting a sad look at his daughter. "i don't want to tell him until anything is certain."

later that night, after the qualifying session, the teams went out drinking. the bar was buzzing with energy with the two ferrari drivers singing 'don't go breaking my heart' by the jukebox in the corner, arms around shoulders and beer bottles held up high.

y/n sat at the edge of the booth, keeping distance between herself and the crew members. she was wearing a tight cotton sheath dress, white with blue flowers on the fabric. she had taken her wrist brace off before she left the hotel, and she was already starting to regret it.

she needed to be able to get back out there before the year was over if she wanted any chance of the big-shots in 2022.

with a sigh, she grabbed her purse and made her way back up the bar, craving something stronger than the club soda she had just finished. she had promised her father that she would be on her best behavior that evening, but if charles and carlos were allowed to get as drunk as they were, there should be no reason why she wasn't allowed to have a drink or two.

esteban ocon had been watching her from the alpine table. when he saw her go to the bar, he moved to meet her there. he had been waiting the entire day to make his move, against daniil's better judgement.

"dude, what is wrong with you?" the russian hissed, grabbing esteban's arm. across the table, fernando alsonso raised his eyebrows.

"i feel like there's a story here." the spaniard said with a grin, taking a sip of his whiskey.

"esteban here has a little crush on y/n szafnauer."

"no." fernando said sharply. not in surprise, not in question, as a definitive. "she's so far out of you league, don't even waste your time."

"thanks for the support." esteban huffed. "from both of you. now, if you'll excuse me, i'm going to go and work my french charm and buy her a strong drink."

"if you say so." fernando grinned, looking forward to watching his younger teammate crash and burn.

so imagine how surprised both of the remaining alpine drivers were when, an hour later, y/n and esteban could be spotted quietly slipping out of the front door, giggling together as they made their way to esteban's car.

the night ended with esteban's head in between her thighs, his tongue and his fingers stretching her out before her flipped her over on the bed, taking her from behind until they were both spent.

"mon dieux." esteban cursed, thrusting his cock into her deeply as she moaned underneath him. "you feel so good, mon ange. such a good girl for me, taking my cock so nicely."

"oh, esteban! yes, yes, god."

and that was how it started. one night turned into two, turned into three and suddenly neither of them knew what it was, finding their way back to each other every time. three races go by, and y/n finally gets the all-clear from her doctors to return to the professional circuit.

and she didn't realize the void that leaving the track would leave in her heart. not just because she missed her father, but because her bed was back to being empty every night, esteban's lanky body not next to hers any more.

instead of nights filled with riveting sex, french dirty talk, and talking about hopes and dreams for the future with their limbs tangled together under cotton sheets, she was finding it increasingly difficult to fall asleep, even after coming home from long training sessions with aching arms and sore feet, dropping her quiver and immediatley falling into bed just to stare at the off-white ceiling.

she had no idea that esteban felt the same, unable to get her off his mind, unable to find that same sense of calm in someone else that he found in y/n szafnauer. other girls wouldn't do it for him any more, but god did he try everything in distraction. instead, every hookup just left him feeling dirty and unsatisfied.

but there were never labels on what they had, no procedure on if they were supposed to miss each other or not. they were nothing but friends who occasionally (or more often than that) slept together, right?

so it would be strange for esteban to call her up and ask to come see her at the next invitational, right? well, the right opportunity fell right into his lap when lance mentioned how otmar had given his father tickets to go and see y/n's invitational in japan and that lance and chloe would be going, as chloe was a close friend of y/n's. as it stood, there was one ticket left, and it would either be going to esteban or mick.

but of course, like most men, esteban ocon thinks with his dick, and the one thing that his cock wanted more than anything in that moment was to be back inside the archer.

two weeks later, he found himself in japan, in the outdoor archer stadium, his eyes scanning the field from the vip box to see y/n in her lavender under armour polo and those tight little navy leggings, hair pulled back in the way that he always held it as she sucked him off.

y/n crossed the pitch to her target, pulling out the handful of arrows that she had been working with that morning. it was her third major invitational back after medical leave, and she felt. . .off. at this point, she wasn't sure if it was because she was falling in love with esteban ocon or if it had something to do with her wrist again. she couldn't afford to have another injury. she was already twenty-five, which is a death sentence for an athlete.

she held the metal arrows in her hand as she turned to walk back to the white chalk line all archers fired from, and that's when she saw him in the crowd, with lance and chloe. it was impossible not to see him, his lanky figure towering over everybody else.

her breath caught in her throat, her heart beating faster as she remembered what they had done the last time they were together.

as the competition started, she had to force herself to keep her cool, to breathe normally as she notched an arrow, lining up the shot with the target. pretending that esteban's eyes weren't glued to her as she let the arrow fly, grinning to herself as she landed a perfect bullseye.

she took home silver that day, and all she could think about was how she wished her father had bothered to show up. otmar was currently in england, finalizing the last little contract details that would cement his switch from aston martin to wherever the fuck else, but the romanian had promised to attend the next grand slam.

instead, she was stuck with the strolls and the one man she wanted to see the most, even though they'd been terrible to each other over the last year.

victory didn't feel the way that it used to.

as she stepped of the podium, she just felt empty as she thought about everything that she had given up to get there. chloe stroll was really the only friend that she had left outside of the sport.

"great job, babes!" the canadian laughed, pulling y/n in for a hug before giving her a massive bouquet of flowers. "i know your dad is proud of you. we sure as hell all are."

"thanks, chloe." she put on a brave face, smiling at the singer before shaking hands with lance, and then coming face to face with him. "hey." she said softly, hesitant to meet esteban's gaze.

"hi." the frenchman sounded just as unsure as the archer did. "i'm really proud of you, y/n. you did incredible out there."

y/n smiled nervously, brushing some stray hairs out of her face. "thanks, esteban. seriously. i've missed you since i left the track."

"me too." the alpine driver said softly, reaching for her hand. she allowed him to bring her knuckles to his lips, placing a gentle kiss on the back of her hand that sent shockwaves through her skin.

that got her wondering: was he just being a gentleman, or did esteban truly feel the same way that she did?

at the afterparty that night, y/n had a lot of mingling to do, but she only wanted the attention of one person: esteban ocon. it was with the alpine driver in mind that she slected her dress: a cotton bodycon dress with a cutout in the top that showed off her cleavage, and a pair of plastic stiletto heels, her hair pulled back in a seductive yet prim bun at the back of her head.

she had hands to shake and sponsors to greet, and with a champagne flute in hand, she kept a look out with the corner of her eye for esteban. she found him, but what she saw when her eyes found his made her stomach churn.

esteban was talking to a tall blonde from australia, the one who had won bronze. the wannabe pageant queen. and clearly she had esteban's attention, with the frenchman laughing loudly at something the woman had said.

y/n didn't understand why her blood was boiling the way that it was. she and esteban weren't anything special, although his skills in the bedroom certainly were.

so why did she immediately grab her purse and walk out, hyperaware of the frenchman's gaze on her ass, which was barely covered by her dress.

somehow she knew that esteban would follow her outside, into the cool japanese night.

"i wasn't going to sleep with her, you know. you do not have to think that little of me, szafnauer."

y/n rolled her eyes, turning to look at him. "it's not my problem, ocon." the words almost hurt her to say. "we aren't anything. you can flirt with whomever you want."

esteban raised his eyebrows. "so why do you look so upset?"

"i'm not." she said lowly, stepping closer and running her fingers up the front of esteban's suit jacket. "i just thought that you were coming home with me tonight."

and so it went, the same old story. her dress ended up on the floor, a lacy thong thrown over a lampshade, a tie gently holding her wrists together behind her back, esteban's trousers on the floor.

a cycle they were doomed to repeat for as long as they were scared of admitting how they felt about each other.

"esteban?" she asked quietly, scared to break the spell as they lay side by side, the frenchman's nimble fingers twirling her hair around his pointer finger. "do you ever wonder what your life would have been like if you weren't who you are?"

"what do you mean, mon tresor?" the driver hummed, dropping her hair.

"i mean that i've been in this life since i was sixteen. there's a lot of shit i missed out on. i never went to prom, never went on dates. in between school and archery, i didn't really have anything else. i reckon that i didn't even have too many proper, genuine friends either. because of who my dad was, they thought i could get them into races, you know? get them an in with the drivers."

esteban thought for a minute. "your twenty-sixth is coming up, isn't it? that would mean that your career lasted a solid decade. i see no reason why you can't retire, or at the very least take a step back. life is too short not to go for what you want."

what if what i want is you, esteban ocon?

"what if, right now, i just wanted you?"

the driver smirked, ducking underneath the covers so that his head was between her thighs. "then that's what you'll get, mon ange."

2022 Season

szafnauer to take a step back from the competitive circuit, focus on life after archery

finding life after archery was harder than y/n szafnauer thought. her father had left aston martin, and gone to alpine, where, low and behold, she would constantly run into esteban.

even when the french driver was the last person she wanted to see, because every time they saw each other, it ended the same way: with the two of them naked.

but with every night spent together, the lines blurred even further. more nights were spent having deep, meaningful conversations over a bottle of wine, or cuddling together on the hotel couch while esteban commentated on shitty french comedy films.

they were crossing lines left and right, terrified to admit it to themselves or each other.

she couldn't let this go any further, she thought to herself, slipping out of esteban's bed and gathering her clothes from the night before, hastily pulling a guess sweatshirt over her head, and the jeans that she'd bought because they were cheap and comfortable (from old navy, at that- the furthest thing from a brand name!). hopin gthe frenchman wouldn't wake, she pressed a kiss to esteban's forehead before quietly slipping out of the hotel room.

as she heard the door click shut, she let out a breath she didn't know she was holding, turning around to almost run directly into fernando alonso.

"y/n? isn't that esteban's room- oh." the spaniard was at a loss for words when he realized what exactly that meant. "so, you and esteban?"

y/n's eyes widened. "it's not what you think. okay, maybe it is! but you cannot tell my father. if my dad finds out, it doesn't end well for any of us?" she pleaded with the older man

"so you're making me an accomplice."

"exactly! so glad you understand, thanks fernando!" she shouted as she took off down the hallway, hoping that nobody else would notice.

but of course, ignorance couldn't be bliss forever. especially not when y/n szafnauer was standing outside the alpine motorhome after spending the whole morning hurling her guts out in a hotel toilet, staring down at the period tracker app on her phone.

your period is fourteen days late.

there was only one person that the father could be, one person that caused this. she didn't even want to think about telling her father. first things first, esteban needed to know, and then they both needed to find out if she really was pregnant.

holding her breath, she stepped into the motorhome with shaky hands, hoping that her father wasn't around, knowing that otmar would rain hell down on the team for the entire race weekend. he needed to keep his head in the game, as did the rest of the team personnel.

"hey y/n!" a voice called from the hospitality.

she turned around, meeting eyes with oscar piastri, the barely-contracted reserve driver. over the past year, y/n had heard all about her father's ill-advised lawsuit to keep the aussie with the team, and his unawareness at just how laughable his case even was.

anybody with a brain could have told otmar that he was going to lose the appeal.

"hey, oscar." she hoped that her voice wasn't shaky as she spoke to the young driver. "you haven't seen esteban this morning, by chance, have you? i know it's media day, but the pen was empty when i walked past."

oscar coughed, swallowing the last of his croissant. "i think he's in his driver's room. hey, so fernando told me something this morning-"

"thank you, oscar!" she cut him off, clapping him on the shoulder before she hurried down a hallway, hoping to avoid confronation with quite literally anybody else.

if fernando had told oscar, who else already knew?

"esteban?" she called out, knocking on the driver's room door. "esteban jean-jaques ocon! i need to talk to you!"

she was about to pound on the door again when it opened, giving way underneath her knuckles.

"y/n?" esteban raised his eyebrows "what are you doing here?"

"um, my dad works here, jackass." she was done being nice, shoving past esteban and taking a seat on his massage couch. "we need to talk."

"so you said. you know fernando saw you leave my hotel room this morning?"

"fernando is the least of our worries." she blurted out, showing esteban her phone screen. the frenchman cocked his head in confusion, and the former archer cut him off before he could ask what that meant. "i could be pregnant, esteban. and we need to decided what to do from here."

"she might be what!" the unmistakable voice came from behind the door to the driver's room, panic setting in as esteban ripped the door open, causing two drivers to topple into the small space.

oscar piastri and jack doohan had been listening from the other side of the door, fernando alonso shaking his head at them from further up the hallway.

"this is what you cabrons get for eavesdropping."

the aussie junior drivers clumsily got up from the floor, hanging their heads in shame at being caught.

"is it true?" jack asked quietly. "is y/n pregnant."

"jack!" oscar scolded. "we are in enough trouble!"

"enough!" y/n shouted, shaking her head. "we don't know. i was hping just to have this conversation with esteban, seeing as how he's the only one it concerns. and now the entire goddamn team knows."

"sorry." oscar said, keeping his eyes trained on the ground. the rookie had decided it was better to keep his head down now that the court case had been settled and he'd be moving to mclaren the following season. "at least abbi doesn't know."

"don't make this worse for yourself, kid." fernando sighed. "let the adults talk."

"i am twenty-one years old!"

jack coughed. "actually, i sort of am still a kid."

"exactly. so mind your business."

esteban shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. "they already know, fernando. if you send them away, they'll just blab. putain! none of this can get back to otmar, you guys hear me?"

"so what do we do from here?" y/n asked, head in her hands. it's not that she hadn't started thinking about settling down now that she was taking a break from archery, but she didn't expect it to be this soon.

she wanted to rediscover who she was first, and it was going to be hard to do that with a child on her hip.

"we keep oscar and jack somewhere where they won't gossip." fernando suggested. "since this entire mess is esteban's fault and i like watching him squirm, he gets to go out and buy the pregnancy tests. three different ones, each a different brand. cuts down on the chance of a false reading."

"why do i have to do it?" esteban gawked at the same time that jack asked "what do you know about pregnancy tests, old man?"

"i'm forty three years old and divorced, you do the math, kid." fernando said, quickly quieting the doohan boy, who promptly returned to staring at the ground. "esteban, you have to do it because y/n is already stressed enough. speaking of, y/n, do you want a coffee or something while esteban is out."

"yeah, actually." she said slowly, reaching fro esteban's hand for some kind of comfort.

he didn't reach back, his hand limp in hers. feeling like she had been punched in the gut, she dropped his hand, following fernando out into the hospitality suite for a much needed caffeinated drink.

"so..." the senior driver started, placing two fresh coffee's on the table. "you and esteban?"

"what about us?"

"is it serious?"

y/n snorted. "it's barely even a relationship. it's like we're drawn to each other, we fuck, and then we have these incredible conversations over a bottle of wine, and then it's like we don't even know each other."

"can we talk friend-of-esteban to friend-of-esteban?"

"that's not how this works, alonso."

"well, it's hardly man-to-man, is it? the cabron is head over heels in love with you, and he has been for two years. he's just a coward who won't admit how he actually feels about you."

she had suspected as much, and this conversation was confirming it for her. they were both as scared as the other: scared to rock the boat, scared to ruin what they already had with each other.

"what am i supposed to do, fernando?"

fernando gave her a knowing look, placing his hand over hers. "you tell him how you feel, and then you take the tests."

"but what if they're positive?"

"he'd be an asshole to run away, and i don't see that happening. i think that he would lay down his life for you, kiddo. give him some credit. not a lot, but some."

"and then i guess i have to tell my dad."

fernando gave her a pitiful glance, one that said everything that he couldn't. "can't help you there, y/n. that one's gotta be all you-"

"i'm back!' an out-of-breath esteban ocon proclaimed, appearing next to the table. "i got three different ones, each a different make, just like fernando said." he spoke fast, and he spoke nervously, backwards alpine ball-cap covering his disheveled hair. he'd done nothing but run his fingers over his scalp and regret every life choice he had ever made.

but especially not telling y/n he loved her.

"okay." she gulped. "let's get this show on the road."

all three sticks were locked at loaded, face up on the counter in the bathroom, a timer set on esteban's phone, all three sets of instructions nervously clutched in y/n's hand.

"y/n?" esteban asked quietly, reaching out for her free hand. "what are we doing? we can't go on like this."

"like what?"

"this. i can't do it anymore, because i think that i've fallen in love with you. no, i know that i've fallen in love with you and i've just been too scared to say it. fuck." he was out of breath despite not having said much, the anxiety eating away at his stomach. "i love you, y/n szafnauer."

"he said it!" oscar's shout could be heard for miles, and he continued yelling as esteban and y/n tried to get the young aussie to be quieter. "jack, mate, you owe me twenty quid!"

"fucking crikey, mate." jack whined. "fine, you win this one. but did the dumbass get her knocked up?"

"jack doohan!" y/n scolded. "why are you dumbasses still here?"

there was a creaking on the staricase next to them, followed by the voice of the person that everybody wanted to see the least.

"what on earth is this fucking yelling? some of us actually have work to do today!" otmar szafnauer shouted, freezing in his tracks when he saw his daughter, pregnancy test intructions clutched in one hand, the other held securely within the hand of otmar's second driver.

"dad," y/n started. "i promise you, it's not what it looks like."

"y/n y/m/n szafnauer, why are you holding pregnancy test instructions?"

oscar's eyes widened, and he turned to look at jack. "dude, does hospitality have popcorn?"

"no idea." jack shook his head. "i bet the other academy guys don't get to witness this shitshow every day. just wait until we tell them."

"you're both idiots." fernando huffed, knocking the two young aussies heads together. "this does not leave the motorhome, do you hear me?"

"dad-" y/n tried to reason before otmar cut her off.

"no buts, y/n! who have you been fucking all this time? was it oscar? daniil? because if it was that russian motherfucker, i swear to god i will find his address and hunt him for sport!"

"at least we know it wasn't me, mate." jack offered up, trying to lessen the tension in the motorhome. "because i'm not an adult yet, remember?"

"shut up jack!"

the f2 driver got the message loud and clear. "okay, shutting up."

"oh dear god?" otmar closed his eyes, hands in front of his face in the prayer position. "please tell me . . . tell me that it wasn't. . .it's not. . . fernando, is it?"

y/n physically recoiled, fighting the urge to gag. "christ, dad! who the fuck do you think i am?"

"i was just checking!"

"my standards may not be super high," fernando admitted. "but i would never fuck my boss' twenty-five year old daughter."

"i'm twenty-six, fernando."

"my mistake. sorry, kiddo."

otmar turned back to his daughter, something akin to disappointment hiding behind the initial betrayal in his eyes. "we used to tell each other everything, y/n. and now i find out that you've been seeing one of my drivers behind my back?"

the sadness in her father's eyes made y/n crack then and there. she missed how close she and her father had once been.

"it's esteban. we've been seeing each other for two years, dad."

"oh sweet jesus." otmar muttered, before he starting rambling in romanian under his breath. "esteban jean-jaques ocon, when this is all said and done, i need to see you in my office."

"i understand, sir." esteban nodded, moving his hand from y/n's so that he could put his arm around her shoulders and pull her closer. "but believe me when i say that i am in love with your daughter, and i plan to do right by her."

"estie, we don't even know if there is a baby yet." she said softly, turning to look at him. "what are we supposed to do?"

"we try again. start completely from scratch, from square one, as if the past two years never happened. we go on proper dates, and i listen as you tell me your big plans for retirement." the frenchman said quietly, gently kissing her on the forehead. "je t'aime, y/n szafnauer."

"je t'aime, esteban ocon."

the timer on esteban's phone went off, and the driver looked over at otmar. "otmar? i think you should sit down for this."

"sit down? don't tell me to sit down, young man! you've been boning my daughter behind my back for two years, i don't think that you're really qualified to tell me anything-"

"otmar!" fernando interrupted. "i know that you're stressed out right now, but your daughter's future is written on three little plastic sticks. so sit your ass down and give the two of them some space to find out what to do next."

"i'm too young to be a grandfather."

oscar snorted. "dude, you're like, sixty."

"i am fifty-eight!"

"are you ready, mon tresor?" esteban said quietly, turning to face y/n.

she nodded, one hand wrapped around the cool metal of the bathroom door handle. "as ready as i'll ever be."

the two crammed themselves into the small bathroom, estie's arms around her waist and his lips agains thte side of her head as she closed her eyes, bracing herself for those little pink lines.

how crazy is it that the entire future of two people can be changed by a series of pink lines? everything different in an instant.

"i'm right here." the driver encouraged. "take your time, mon tresor."

slowly, and with shaky hands, she flipped over the first test, and then the second.

negative. negative again.

she drew in a breath, looking at the last test, the smiling baby on the white handle doing nothing to calm her nerves. she didn't even know if she knew what she wanted the test to say yet.

"i can't do it, esteban. i can't face the unknown."

she knew it was a shitty answer. she faced the unknown the second she announced that she was stepping away from her sport. faced the unknown the minute she got into esteban ocon's bed. the moment she had to deal with medical leave.

esteban placed his hand over her. "then we turn it over together. and i promise, whatever the answer is, we work through it together."

"okay."

on the count of three, they turned the test over together.

not pregnant.

shockingly, she found herself breathing a sigh of relief. and she could feel esteban relaxing behind her as she rested her head against his chest, mumbling to himself in french.

"now we have time to do the real relationship things. to fall in love with each other all over again." she turned to look at him. "let's do everything in the right order this time."

esteban laughed. "i'd like that very much." he smiled as he kissed her. "so, does this mean that children are on the table for the future?"

"is that something you want?"

"only with you."

y/n smiled. "then yes. but you'd better put a ring on it first."

esteban chuckled, kissing her again. "i think i can make that happen, mon ange."

[hollowtones]

i can't find the vods for the rest of your endwalker playthrough (if you even did stream the rest) so i was wondering, what were your opinions on 6.0? (also what were your reactions to That urianger scene)

I think I only did like one or two streams of it. It ran kinda bad when I streamed it, people didn't want to watch it, and I wasn't getting much out of streaming it compared to just playing it on my own time. That and I think I had a really severe depressive episode at the time (for unrelated reasons).

IDK if anyone's still trying to avoid spoilers but I'll throw it under a read-more.

It's been a while since I last played so my memory's kind of spotty. I liked it, though. It felt like a satisfying conclusion to what they've been getting at since 2.0 MSQ, and a nice little dialogue on despair and exhaustion and depression and hope, and finding ways to carry on and keep living and keep loving and keep trying. I feel like that's when the game's overall writing and theming tends to be at its strongest (yes I liked the Dark Knight questlines haha).

I remember having mixed feelings about how they pulled off the Garlemald segment & the "Alphinaud and Alisaie's shit head dad" plotline but I don't remember enough of the specifics to really elaborate on that.

Alisaie has lesbian college admirers and I thought that was funny.

I came out of 5.5 MSQ expecting White Woman Jumpscare Hydaelyn to be a little trite but I ended up really liking Venat. I felt kinda whatever about Emet-Selch coming back, but I didn't hate what they did with him I guess, and his earless-Viera boy toy was fun. Fandaniel felt like The Joker but he still felt like a fine first-act villain. The way they write him (& Meteion) in the later chunk of the game felt more interesting to me, & felt like a fun play on "Shadowbringers"-era Emet-Selch's whole "AMAUROT, BABY! GREATEST CITY IN DA WORLD, BABY! SLIMES ALL OVER DA STREET, BABY!" nostalgia. It was funny when he was The Joker, though.

Final area was thematically and visually really interesting. I'm excited we got more stuff related to Omega & I'm glad we got more "btw the dragons are aliens" stuff. I've seen a lot of people forget about that, for whatever reason. That one area right by the end that was completely desolate, with no people & no indication of who lived there, was a really good setpiece. The Namazu canonically suffer in all possible dimensions and all possible worlds and you cannot help but laugh out loud.

I kind of rolled my eyes at Zenos coming back. "By the way he's a Reaper now" felt like it amounted to nothing, but admittedly I never did the Reaper questline or the post-6.0 stuff. Getting to punch him in the face at the end was fun.

Music was good, I liked the way they played with different motifs & I really like how that comes to a head in the final boss fight.

I was expecting moon rabbits to be grating and insufferable but I liked them. I fucking love that none of this planet's moons are normal. Why are they both orbital prison-ships. I love it.

Zodiark's design owned and Hydaelyn's design was okay. Very Yoshitaka Amano design, which makes sense given how he did that one boxart for "A Realm Reborn" & she looks a lot like she does there, but I kinda wish she got to look more monstrous and weird. She kept talking up becoming a monster to do what she felt was right!!! I wish that had informed her design a little more.

Hamburgers exist & I do like that the animators got to livingly render G'raha Tia going to town on one like those weird clips of anime girls where it looks like they've never eaten in their lives.

I don't remember what you mean by "the Urianger scene". LOL

You didn't ask, but the crafting/gathering questlines were a lot of fun. I feel like they (& the guildleves) added some fun extra context to everything going on while I was going through the MSQ.

I liked it overall. I don't think it's the highest point of the game's writing, but I had a good time and felt very satisfied by the time it came to a close.

[turttastic]

Ranking potential Kaladin fates from best to worst in my opinion. Obviously this is just my personal feelings:

Desirable Outcomes:

1: My Ideal World:

Kaladin stays romantically uninvolved, but ends up in a position where he is responsible for kids. Maybe he's a teacher, maybe he raises Shadolin's kids if something happens to them, maybe he raises Oradin. He would be great with kids, he's such a protector and I think the unconditional love of a kid would be good for him personally. He is ideal for a found family setup, honestly, and I don't particularly want to see him get paired off with a woman just to create a nuclear family.

2: Impossible but beautiful world:

Kaladin, Adolin, and Shallan polycule. They understand him, they love him, they are both capable of providing him with different types of support and won't be intimidated by his personality. Adolin is an absolutely crucial part of the puzzle here, though. To me, Adolin x Kaladin can work without Shallan, Adolin x Shallan works without Kaladin, but Kaladin x Shallan cannot exist without Adolin because it would be catastrophic.

3. Monster fucker win:

Kaladin ends up in a partnership with Leshwi that is probably somewhat ambiguous but has a distinct romantic undertone to it. They already have a warriors bond and respect/have a vested interest in each others continued survival. There's a deep relationship there for sure. I don't personally see it as romantic but I think it'd work fine if it was. Wouldn't detract from either character.

Neutral Outcomes:

4. The Easy Way Out:

Kaladin finds Tarah again and ends up with her. This feels like the most obvious and perhaps most likely possibility. It's boring, it's uninventive, I don't want to see it happen, but I guess it's fine? It's a nice conclusion to Kaladin learning to live in the present, but it just feels too easy.

5. Windrunner bloodline:

Kaladin gets back together with Lyn. She can do better tbh. I love Kaladin but hes a lot. He also is kind of a traditional type of guy when it comes to gender and relationships I think, and Lyn is the type of woman who wants to break away from tradition. They just don't fit to me. Only reason this happens is because they specifically want Kaladin to marry a Windrunner and have kids that seem destined to be Windrunners also until they're not.

6. Blaze of Glory:

Kaladin dies in book 5 saving someone else. It would be so so so upsetting for this to happen and unfair to Kaladin personally but it wouldn't butcher his character at least. Like it would suck, I would go catatonic, but it'd be like Vin and Elend dying. It seems like a believable fate for him to meet, as heartbreaking as it is.

Bad Outcomes:

7. White Woman Jumpscare:

Kaladin ends up with Laral. What can i even say about this. Childhood friends to enemies to strangers to Kaladin pitying Laral in a way that really pissed her off because of how condescending and patronizing it was. I don't want them together.

8. Chrom's fate:

Kaladin gets married to a random, unimportant woman between books 5 and 6 solely for the purpose of creating plot relevant children that will likely ultimately be used to hurt him.

9. Depressed together:

Adolin dies and Shallan ends up with Kaladin. Any outcome where Adolin dies is unacceptable to me but thus one especially. I love Kaladin. I love Shallan. I love them both in a relationship with Adolin, mutually or separately. But they cannot under any circumstances be allowed to date just each other. They understand each other's trauma and are drawn to each other, but neither of them is capable of helping the other process their trauma while also dealing with their own feelings. It's a relationship destined to crash and burn from my perspective.

10. Hell and hate on planet Roshar

Syl takes a physical form and gets romantically involved with Kaladin. Literally the worst possible thing I can imagine happening to either of them. Their souls are bound together, they are vital to one another, and they love each other, but not Like That. It's closer to a sibling relationship than anything. This particular situation could only arise from a gross misunderstanding of their relationship as its been developed thus far.

[astramachina]

For those of you who've been following me for a while now, there's a good chance you got to experience my journey reading the Remembrance of Earth's Past series last year. I loved Three-Body Problem, but The Dark Forest and Death's End were like pulling teeth. Both books had their very very good moments, but getting through them was a tedious experience I considered giving up on on multiple occasions. I will give it to Cixin Liu tho, I needed to know how the series ended and that alone was the sole reason I pushed towards the finish line. Any author that can make me tough out bad writing for the sake of seeing the end deserves some kind of award (and he won a ton anyway, so).

I approached the Netflix series with zero expectations given their propensity for shitty adaptations (One Piece notwithstanding), but after watching the first episode I was left cautiously optimistic.

Having watched all 8 episode I'm still unsure how to feel about it. I spent most of the series hitting pause to rant at my roommate about it, both positively and negatively.

I had many issues with the books, but some of the more obvious ones came from a writing standpoint. I love hard sci-fi. I could not excuse the sheer length of those final two books. The atrocious treatment of women as objects to romance and use as bartering for the main character. The abysmal MCs (specifically Luo Ji) that made me want to yell to the high heavens due to annoying they were. The lack of human connection between characters.

For books so steeped in sociopolitical and ethical commentaries, the flagrant misogyny and homophobia was eye-rolling. And not even in a "This is Bad" sort of way, just in a "This is So Fucking Boring" kind of way. I cannot speak for the author's biases, because the contents of a book in no way reflects the views of an author or their character.

Where the books shone the brightest were during the battle scenes, the looming dread, genuinely horrific thought experiments.

And, surprisingly? It feels like the people at Netflix thought the same.

I've never watched Game of Thrones but I understood why people were against it from the get-go. That, along with the whole "whitewashing" thing which I consider to be interesting. For starters, you're using whitewashed wrong. Yes, they moved the central story from China to England which was... a fascinating choice, but of the core five (that quickly became the core four), only two of them are white. I'm not saying it was okay for a western adaptation to take a cast and further diversify it, I'm just saying that that's not whitewashing.

That aside, I did like some of the choices that were made from a narrative standpoint. Reshuffling and streamlining events, for one. Removing the whole plot line about Luo Ji hunting down a woman who he invented in his head in order to marry her? I'm not entirely sold on the idea of taking core events and divvying them up between four different people, but I do understand what they're trying to do.

The book series failed at crafting believable and impactful relationships between its human characters, which made the narrative feel hollow and one-dimensional. This adaptation aimed to change this by slapping a band-aid over the issue. Like I said, I'm still unsure of how I feel about this.

A lot of unnecessary stuffing was removed to make a suitable run time, and I say unnecessary because there's really no scenes that are making me go "oh, I wish this had been included". Was some stuff rushed? Yes. The passage of time could have been outlined a little better, but that's a small nitpick on my end.

The scale of things was toned down, and I don't think Netflix has the capability (or budget) to tackle space battles.

Honestly? I don't really see this getting a second season for a variety of reasons, and I'd be okay with that.

It was an "okay" watch, in the end.

Tho, I'm still flabbergasted by the random "gory scary jumpscare" scenes????? Where did those come from??? I don't remember anything like that being in the books but, you know. I've read a lot more books since finishing these, so.

[shakertwelve]

fuck i forgot the purity interlude comes in the middle of the arc even though it's at the end in the chapter list. white woman jumpscare

[magicalgirlartist]

[ID: three digital drawings of a single subject each. The first is a ghostly woman rendered in greys and whites, with flowy grey hair and a long grey and white nightgown, clutching her dress with one hand and scowling directly forward. The second is a young woman in a goth outfit, with black hair over one eye, heavy eye makeup, and a black and red outfit, with one hand propped on her hip and the other holding a small device. The third is a young woman in a sporty outfit, with red hair pulled back in a low ponytail, a white sleeveless tank and pink athletic leggings, winking and smiling with one hand curled towards her face. End ID.]

I've been percolating a visual novel concept that I've affectionately nicknamed "untitled ghost game," wherein you play as a ghost trying to kick two amateur ghost hunters out of her house. Here's my first pass at some character designs! I don't have a ton of character info yet but what I do have I'll throw below the read more.

[Commissions open!]

Annette: the ghost of a young woman who died in 1905 of tuberculosis. Has been mostly drifting lazily through her afterlife and doesn't think she's causing any problems. Most upsetting thing about her death is that she died in her nightgown so that's what she's stuck in forever now. Likes her peace and quiet.

Theo: a college student whose cool and unaffected demeanor is meticulously cultivated to hide that she actually has a big heart and is easily creeped out. Extremely susceptible to jumpscares. True believer who will do anything to prove that ghosts are real.

Becca: a college student whose bubbly and perky personality covers up just how grounded and perceptive she really is. Is mostly here as backup for Theo. Absolutely does not believe in ghosts and is really good at coming up with logical explanations for supernatural goings-on, but is only taking the investigation half seriously.

[roachemoji]

NEW ST LIVE BLOGGING bc i lost my old thread lmao S1 06-08 (but not really i need to rewatch the end again)

Episode 6

OKAY im starting like halfway through ep 6 again

the AUTISM in the first 30 seconds of this episode starting up again lmao EL calling him a mouth breather because its the first insult she fucking hears??? Yea YEAH

GOD JOYCE IN A TURTLE NECK <- my mom (hold oni have to jump back up here because I completetly skipped the part about Jane and her mom and the connection to El and i feel like its a little too on the nose that thats who El is given how much ive seen and read about the fuckery and connections in this show so im waiting on that - unless it is just... that. AKJHD)

I LOVE DUSTIN SO MUCH WHY DO I NEVER HEAR ANYTHING ABOUT HIM LIKE WHAT THE FUCK

hes SO smart holy shit i mean they all are but his interpersonal skills are so JUST YEAH CALL THEM OUT CALL THEM OUT also his quiet "ok" when he pushes that theyre all his best friends UGH

is this the scene is this the i think im about to watch the thing i just OH MAN HE JUST CLOCKED HIM WHO STRADDLES A MAN LIKE THAT WHEN YORUE FIGHTING HELLO

damn

anyway sorry Johnathan and Nancy Platonic Soulmates Best Friends Forever im making them bracelets !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh man i was gonna mention the van that Lucas saw but i forgot also GOD DUSTIN IS THE ONLY ONE WITH FUCKIGN SENSE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH boys boys boys boys boys

I FORGOT HE PISSED HIS FUCKING PANTS LMAO

JUST PISS YOUR PANTS???? oh he okay yeah i though the was actually asking him to just piss his fucking pants

DUSTIN JUST SACRIFICING HIMSELF WHY DO I NOT HEAR MORE ABOUT HIM ACTUALLY

SO what would happen if Mike had like died what would happen if those kids had caused his death like wouold they have just ran and left Dustin or pushed him off or what like AKJSHDSKAJHD

IM SORRY THE SONG WHEN EL SHOWS UP IS SO FUCKING FUNNY

El exxperiencing PTSD so vividly breaks my fucking heart like girlie i understand i understan di do i reall really do god im so sorry BABY GIRL ITS OKAY AOOIASUDSKAH SHE OPENED THE GATE DAMN gonna like swaddle her or something god

im sorry the squad of white vans going to kidnap children is a little too on the fucking nose for me

---

Episode 7

real talk could El not just explode them what if El just exploded them i mean obviously theres OTHER consequences like... killing people BUt i mean.

SHE IDNT EXPLODE THE VAN BUT I MEAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT GUY IS PROBABLY DEAD SO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pausing to say something actually: How child abuse is depicted so far in the show is very scary to me in how real it feels. To be a kid in those situations, to not understand the power you weild because an adult as manipulated you into believing that you're helpless? That the only person you can rely on is them, even as they're actively harming you? Brenner being aware of the harm that El can cause him but believing so strongly in the hold he has on her and therefore he is above consequence, above harm? fucking yucky The scene of him giving her the potted flower made my stomach sink. Felt a little too close to home I know that themes of abuse are really prevelant in this show and Its really interesting to see how it affects people different but especially El, someone who'se pretty fucking clearly autistic and shows a lot of the same symptoms that i did post abuse? I thought i had more to say on it and maybei will as time goes on i just!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ough okay moving on --

LUCAS!!!!!!!!! APOLOGIZING and El saying she sorry too and ALL OF THEM APOLOGIZING YEAH THIS IS BOYS BEING BOYS BABEY THIS IS!!!! BOYS! BEING! BOYS!!!!!!!

WHITE WOMAN JUMPSCARE AGAIN

i cant wait to get to the part where i understand who you (POINTS AT EM) believe she is and fully feel whatever i should feel about her and what shes done or about to do or going to do in multiple timelines or what have YOU

Mikes dad makes me want to ram my head into a wall

and BRENNER is just fucking STABS HIM STABS HIM STABS HIM

Joyce is just :3c she just!! she <3

she can.... make you fly....... and...... piss yourself

the two super powers

OUHAKJSDH i forgot they think Johnathan killed Will jesus christ i hate these two so much and OUGAKSDH GOD THANK YOU FOR AKHSDAKJH FINALLY!! THANK U IK STEVE SHAPES UP AND CHANGES HIS SHIT AND GROWS THANK GOD BUT JESUS ITS ABOUT TIME HOLY FUCK

SPIT IN HIS EYES SPIT IN HIS EYES !!!! WISH U HAD GOD NOT THEIR DND SHIT HELLOW???

the Byers,,,,,,,,,, seemed so distant before like they didnt know each other or cared but god theyre so close theyre so so close and i feel that i get that

MIKES DAD AGAIN I WANT TO HES SO FUCKING STUPID if i were locked in a room with him id put on cocomelon

HOPPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3

THE BOYS ARE ALL SO SMART I LOVE THEM OS MUCH

El is just trying so fucking hard god the liek desperation and fear or failure and guilt that she just keeps carrying itS JUST!!!!

MR CLARKS LIL DATE NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!! do you ever use your teacher's autism against him and force him to info dump in the same of science.

watching them setting up the pool and knowing they probably just told them to figure it out while they filmed it <3 ALSO MIKE REALIZING HIS SISTER IS ACTUALLY COOL idk need more siblings being siblings

JOYCE IS MY MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

someone giving El the option to say no? to back out? to FEEL SAFE??? im going to lose my mind im gonan scREAM and cry and throw up!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am BANGING MY FISTS On the TABLE

genuinely WAHT did barb do to deserve this WHAT DID SHE DO SHE WAS SUCH A GOOD FRIEND OH MY GOD

joyce joyc ejoCYCE JOYCE JOYCE fuck all yall shes my favorite character im in love with her

Do episodes that end in the upside down also not end with music @ em i cant remember this happening before bc i didnt write it down <3

---

Episode 8

LAST EPISIDE OF THE SEASON i went to get popcorn for this to pay full attention or as much as i could im goingin an dout of dissociating so bare with me i feel like im gonna have to rewatch the entire first season again bc i missed a lot but we'll get there in due time anyway onward and upward boys

OHH THE FIRST SCENE I SAW A PARALLEL TO EPISODE ONE!!! WITH JOYCE ON THE PHONE AND NOW YELLING AT BRENNER

god i love WHEN PEOPLE STAND UP TO BRENNER AND DONT BELIEVEHIS BULLSHIT

Hopper <333333

Johnathan and Nancy are my favorite best friends theyre jUST like GUNG FUCKING HO i love it

IM OAIUSDKAJHD NANCY AND HOPPER GOING FUCKING IN WHAT DO YOU MEAN ITS NOT GONNA HAPPEN yall keep underesitimating these people because you got your fancy suits and you think ou have control of the situation and then you get your ass handed to you SO IM waiting for his ass to be handed to him

do NOTTTTT DO NOT DO THIS TO ME WITH HOPPER DONT THROW ME INTO A FUCKING FLASH BACK!!!!!!! NOT LIKE THIS NOT HERE GONNA BITE

if i have to watch people cut their palms to get blood one more time im gonna STOP STOP IT STOP IT STOP oh my GOD LIKE... BAK O FYOU HAND? YOUR ARM? GIRL.

STEEVEEEEEEEEE are the lights gonna start blinking girl please pleas eplease srteve please can he help kill please bro Im HIS big brown eyes hello hwa the fuck

SO Tumblr deleted... everything after this and im kinda upset man i got like 20 minutes left in the episode not even and it just wiped out 90% of me going balls to the fuck wall about El exploding people's brains and how much i love Joyce Byers and how they gotta stopputting me through so much emotional turmoil when it comes to Hopper and his flash backs

I think im gonna rewatch the last episode to give a better genuine reaction bc i kinda spaced out at the end and dont super know whats going on now askdhj

[themonotonysyndrome]

"Hey guys, it's 8r19h7 eYE2 here. Welcome to my first boss battle - a woman."

If you ask Bright Eyes - which no one is doing nowadays. Or talk to. So rude. - their ultimate weakness has always been hot women. Now you might be asking "Oh, does that mean you're Bi?" or "What's your body count?" or even "Holy fuck, Bright Eyes! When did you get in the shower with me!?" but that's not important. What you should be asking is what type of women Bright's heart explodes for like a car crash.

The answer? Preferably boss-ass bitches that can crush them with a pair of fuck-me-heels with daddy issues of the Frank Ocean level. Google it.

Oh and look! There's one here in Wonderworld! Shoes? Check. A scowl that can only mean the barista got her Starbucks order wrong again? Check. And when she steps away from the shadows, we hit the bonus round.

She's tall and her crown is pure platinum blonde. But like every white woman, she's hard to read but fortunately, Bright Eyes can so they check their text on Whatsapp (boomer apps gave them the hives) for any goddesses that are supposed to be on shift tonight.

Actually, let's go back a bit. Back to this morning when Sam accomplished the impossible and made Bright Eyes go 🕶️outside🌳.

"You know, I was counting down the days when you would finally kill me. I bet sometime this year. Vincent now owes me one of his Lambos. You think he'll be mad if I put some Barbie-friendly decals on it?"

"Bright, I don't mean now. I meant tonight at Wonderworld. Vamps in the Solaire Clan take turns patrolling the area."

Frederick pops into their head like an adorably fat mole. The Bright Eyes in their mind palace (it's actually more of a crack den but whatever) whack it with away because they know the unspoken reason why Sam approached them instead of his Progeny. And why he did so when Frederick was asleep.

But anyway, back to the present!

No hot white women were written in the text. Just a bunch of Vampires who form an anti-Bright Eyes committee™ as soon as they arrive. They ignore Bright for the most part which eventually leads the not-so-Newborn-anymore to the farthest end of Wonderworld where a babe is just chilling beside the vegetation-conquered carousel. Score one for the plants.

And the first thing that escapes from Bright's mouth is, "Good evening. May I inquire if you're a quirked up white woman that can bust it down sexual style so that I can get lost in the sauce?"

The scowl vanishes instantly. Like a father who went out to buy milk.

"Excuse me?"

Giddiness blooms like a weed (you know which ones) in Bright Eyes. She even has a Karen-patent tone! Could this night get any better -

Nevermind. Please wait for Bright's brain to reboot as an impressive set of badonkas-donkas is thrust in their face.

"Are you one of Sam's Progeny?" She didn't ask so much as demands. Like Bright and the world owes her something, everything. They wondered if they started panting because that's seriously hawt.

"I'm what you call a bastard of the magical kind meets with death via Vampiric jumpscare. And that's not a sentence I thought was possible."

Bright has to give blondie some credit; she takes their nonsensical answer in stride and with an eyebrow raised.

"I'll take that as a yes. You fit the rumours at least."

"You heard of me but I don't know who you are. You're hot but... sus. Do I need to eject you?"

"No surprise there. I bet Sammy did everything he could to hide you from me. He thinks he's protecting you, but all he did was made me curious."

"Aww shit, did the clapping of my ass cheeks give me away?"

"...Are you fucking high?"

"Probably. I had a shot of vodka with my honey milk boba tea with extra pudding and 100% sugar before I left. Fuck coffee when you can just meet god, amirite?"

The woman closes her pretty gold-ruby eyes. She exhaled and Bright could literally hear her mentally counting down.

"You're unlike any creature that I ever have the misfortune to come across."

"Uh, correction: you found me. And I still don't know if you're a quirked up white woman that can - "

"Enough. I get it. Are you usually like this when it comes to women?"

"Hey, I thought I would be holding in my rizz 'till the heat death of the universe! So who are you o' beautiful sour cream?"

"Careful, I can't tell whether that's an insult or a compliment."

"Sounds like a you problem, chief."

Apparently, magic does exist because despite the non-stop verbal trainwreck that's coming out of Bright's mouth, the woman's lips nearly twitch a smile.

"You're ballsy and stupid. I like that. The name's Alexis. A pleasure for you to meet."

Yes! Bright made it to Phase 2, bitch!

"They call me Bright Eyes, my IQ is the highest among the Redditors on the 'Am I The Asshole' subpage - "

"That isn't saying much."

" - And welcome to the ruins of Vincent's hopes and dreams."

Now that made Alexis burst out a gut. Seriously, she's clutching her stomach with tears in her eyes. It boosts Bright's confidence as a future stand-up comedian. Their 'flirting?' went well but Bright didn't sense the spark of interest within the older Vampire. Boo.

"Right. I've decided to kidnap you now. How accurately can you predict your... Grandmaker's reaction?"

"As accurate as my opinion on the Internet."

"Wonderful. I hope you like shopping and breaking the fabric of time and space on the highway."

And that, readers, is how Bright Eyes won against Alexis Getty-Solaire without getting Miyazaki'd.

[maddgical-boy]

I did not know there was a new madd ask game :o

Ill give you a challenge with one of mine. one of my only primparas

Name: Fate

About: shes literally the goddess of fate. While she doesnt directly control everything, its more like playing the sims. She can reach down and change stuff around but otherwise its mostly on autopilot.

She pretends to be emotionless like the other gods (all the gods gain emotions over time but they all pretend like its not something youre supposed to have) but cant stop herself from becoming attached to humans time and time again. Even though, she presents stoically and as if she is only following logic, and will let things run their course if they will bring the end result she needs. She likes being kind to humans (especially ones she is attached to), but tries to present it as not something that is coming from her if that makes sense.

Appearance: doesnt have a solid/perceiveable form as she is a god, but presents often as a blonde woman so humans can feel more comfortable talking to another "human". the human perception of god attire is big white robes with a purple hem, so her face/features/body are almost never visible anyway

Gender: doesnt really have one, but see above note about appearance. humans tend to call her by she/her. shes a bit attached to her human disguise form now but she would not admit it

(honestly im not sure if she has romantic/sexual attraction or not, but I wanted to see who you pair her with, and wanted to info dump a little :D)

i drew a little doodle for this pairing if you don't mind (this may not be what fate looks exactly like obviously but)

i am pairing her with my angel primpara, ramona <3 second pic is old art jumpscare im sorry

he is an angel that likes to hang out with humans, and because his powers can be really destructive, the other angels don't argue with him and just let him harmlessly fuck around and find out. he plays it REALLY fast and loose with revealing his powers to humans. if he likes you at all he's like "hey friend check out this cool thing i can do" 💥[explosion sounds]💥

he would probably try to encourage fate to open up more and he would be really accepting of her emotions and feelings because despite his irresponsibility with his powers, he is actually fairly understanding and nice. they might clash a little if she follows logic and pre-destined fates because he follows his intuition more, but if she can soundly convince him he'll listen. he would definitely encourage her to hang out with humans more to learn about them and play with them, even if it's against status quo :)

[someheartlesslady]

concept post, peer reviewed by other silly people

Friday Night Funkin': Week(end at Freia's)

Getting Chilly

In the Fridge

My Wife

Back at It

Bonus: White (Dress) Woman Jumpscare

[fyrefrostanimus]

2 years ago, during a break between 0 and 1st period

Friend: Hey, do you know how to search for that jumpscare video of the road with the scary ghost woman at the end?

Me, bored out of my mind and wanting any excuse to laugh: I dunno, search "white woman jumpscare"