#whoever did this hit me up so I can credit your genius please

[nomazee]

Um hello! Is the 1k event thingy still up?? If so I would like to request a classmate! Dr ratio x reader at 2:47 am?

it's actually sickening how much fun i had with this i was giggling at my own jokes while typing this out... this was so fun to write THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING!!!

my 1k event!

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A blaring, aggravating, shrill sound wakes you up. Your hands go to cover your ears, protecting your sanity from the noise ringing somewhere from the tangle of sheets on your bed. Hands flailing around desperately to find the source of the piercing chimes, you writhe around in agony until you finally latch onto your phone. 

The brightness of the screen digs into your corneas as you lift up the device to see the caller ID of whoever had the guts to bother you on a school night. 

It comes to no surprise that the caller name reads “VERITAS FUCKING RATIO” in all caps with no contact photo. Your eye twitches and the grip on your phone tightens, just a hair away from leaving finger-shaped dents in the metal. 

Begrudgingly, you answer the call, tucking the phone next to your ear with nothing less than displeasure. “Veritas. Why are you calling me at—” you pull your phone back to check, “—almost three in the morning?” 

“The works cited page,” Veritas Fucking Ratio informs you matter-of-factly. There’s no hint of sleepiness in his voice, nothing that could possibly chip away at his good image, of course. “You did it in the wrong format. It’s supposed to be APA. This is a science project, not a literature project.” 

You might kill him. The project in question is to be presented tomorrow— today at ten in the morning. Ratio and you had been working on it for an entire two weeks, broken up into intermittent hour-long sessions because he was adamant that you split up the work instead of rushing to do it all the night before. Stupid self-righteous gorgeous beautiful academic genius-freak. Yeah, it definitely helped you in the long run, but he acted so sanctimonious about it that you refused to admit the benefits. 

“Veritas,” you imbue the syllables of his name with poison, as much as you can when you’re swaying as you sit up on your bed and fighting demons to not fall back asleep. “This is such an easily-fixed thing. Do you know what time it is right now? Why are you even awake? You know, I am supposed to get a full seven hours of sleep every night, and I was already cutting it short today, and you woke me up before I could even hit REM sleep. Do you know how upsetting this is? Fix the goddamn works cited yourself!” 

For once, Veritas is at a loss for words. The other end of the line is so quiet that you have to double check and make sure he hasn’t just hung up on you. Perspiration builds on your palms, thinking that this is it—this is the exact moment that you make Veritas-Fucking-Ratio snap and delete your name off the project credit slide, and you’re going to get a 0 because he will wipe off any evidence of your work from this plane of existence, and you will spend the rest of your measly life chasing after your MLA-turned-APA works cited page, too-little-too-late. 

“I’m awake because the— well.” He pauses, and his voice sounds so far away and unobtrusive that you’re almost worried. Your breath stills in the middle of your diaphragm. Waiting. “The works cited is one thing. But I wanted you to look at the slides, if you can.” 

If you can, he says, as if he’s giving you a choice, which he literally never has during this entire process. You had no role in choosing the topic, or the slide theme, or what days you worked on the project, or how often you worked on the project (because god forbid you procrastinate a little bit, right?!), but now, at almost three in the morning, Veritas is saying something along the lines of oh please my dearest project partner, I request that you open the Google Slides at once, but only if you would like to! I would never infringe on your free will at three in the morning, because I respect you as a partner. Or something like that. That was pretty much the gist of it. 

A raspy sigh escapes you, and you claw your busted laptop off the nightstand next to you, opening it up and squinting at the LED screen as you punch in your passcode. “You know, I have done a good job at going along with all of your whims, Veritas, the least you could do is fix the works cited for me. Seriously, how did you even miss that? You’re so detail-oriented, but you didn't even realize the format was wrong until tonight? Who even cares, seriously… it’s just a slideshow…” 

Your voice trails off as the slideshow presentation finally loads in. You see Veritas’ default profile picture blink in the upper right-hand corner, signaling that he’s viewing the slideshow with you. The slideshow which has apparently undergone a huge makeover. 

It’s—pleasant to look at. This entire time, you and Veritas had been editing a default, white-background black-serif-font-text slideshow. He refused to change it, telling you that it’s unprofessional to do anything too embellished, to which you fruitlessly said, Veritas, we will die early deaths because of the hole in the ozone layer, would you at least make it easier on my poor soul by letting me choose a pokemon-theme slide? Veritas had pretended like he couldn't hear you (in a very quiet library room, mind you), but the twitch in his brow gave him away. 

Now, though, the slides are decorated. It’s a really nice theme, complete with custom icons and graphic blobs of color—your favorite color, might you add. It’s—pretty. Dare you say, cute, but you think Veritas would vaporize your entire presentation if you called it cute. 

“Did you— this— did you pay for this slide theme?” 

“You— n— mn,” he trails off into an unintelligible mash of mumbling, and you hear a loud THUD that sounds awfully like the phone being thrown onto a mattress. Fabric shuffles around, before you hear Veritas’ voice again, clear and composed. “Sorry. I dropped my phone.” What a loser, and a liar, and an endearing freak. You really wish he video called you because you need to see his totally-very-ugly face. 

“I thought this was unprofessional, Veritas,” you say teasingly, a smile lining your words as you try not to giggle right into the phone. “What made you have a change of heart?” 

“Nothing,” the typical firmness of his voice has returned, much to your dismay. “The works cited is still wrong. You have to fix it.” 

“Oh, whatever you say, honored Ratio,” you open up your trusty citation-generator, ready for a long fifteen minutes of copying and pasting information. “Hey, you must be free after class tomorrow, right? Since the project is pretty much over, right?” 

“Yes,” Veritas answers after a moment of hesitation, only a hint of doubt in his voice. 

“That’s great. Keep your schedule clear, then.” 

(You fix the works cited slide, wish Veritas sweet dreams, and then wake up in the morning to completely ace your presentation. The minute the period ends, you drag him out of the classroom and into a coffee shop, paying for some five dollar pastry and joking that it’s payback for the cute slideshow theme that he definitely paid five dollars for. Veritas is an awful liar, and you tell him that, and he can’t even find the strength to deny it.)

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gen taglist: @tragedy-of-commons @lasiancunin

fill out my event taglist (pinned) or general taglist (navi) to be tagged in upcoming works!

[itevilhag]

Till The End | S.R

CREDITS TO THE OWNER OF THIS GIF! Spencer Reid x POC!reader summary: The resident genius of the BAU just tied the knot with Maxine Brenner, but reader finally decided to let out her feelings- well not directly anyways. warnings: ANGSSSTTTT wordcount: 1k A/N: I am so sorry for the lack of descriptions here.  “Hi,” you greeted, smiling lightly.

“Hey,” he replied, reciprocating your smile. “Uhm- I know you’ve been dancing with your relative for hours, and I’m about to feel bad about what I’m gonna say but Dr. Spencer Reid, may I have the honor of sharing this dance with you?” you offered as you held your hand out to him with a small smile on your lips. “Well, In that came Ms. L/N, you shall” he accepted your hand reciprocating your smile, and led you to the center of the dance floor. As the slow music played in the background, your hands found their way to the back of his neck, as his hand settled itself on your waist pulling you closer, but not close enough to draw attention. “Hey, I know that Maxine has probably already said this countless times tonight but, you look handsome, like to the nines handsome,” you commented, with a small smirk on your lips. “Yeah? Well, I would say the same to you. You look beautiful, Y/N,” he replied. “Are you okay?” he asked, as the silence between you two drew out.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t be?” you look up to him, trying your best to muster up a (fake) smile.

“Nothing, it's just that... You look a bit sad.” he pointed out. And with that, you look away from him “Hey, you know you can tell me anything, right?”

No, Spencer, I can’t. Please not right now.

“Yeah, yeah, Spencer, I know that I just don't wanna ruin your night by pouring my shit on you, on your wedding day, because that would make me a horrible best friend, and I don't wanna be that, so…”

“There's nothing you can do or say that would ruin my night okay? So…” he nodded signaling for me to spill it out. Here goes.

“Well, there is this guy that I like, and I've sort of had these feelings for him for a long time- and I mean who wouldn't? The man's handsome, he's tall, charismatic, a good listener, a good friend, and very smart might I add,” you chuckled, as your heart rate basically picked up as you started.

“He sounds wonderful,” he said, a subtle smile appearing on his lips.

“Oh yeah, he is, he's very wonderful,” you replied.

“What's got you feeling down then?” he asked, confused.

“Uhm he's with someone now.”

“Oh,” he said, realization hitting him in the face.

“Yep. I was just too much of a coward to tell him how I really felt and, now he's happy with another girl. And I wished that I would have told him you know, but I didn't because I was afraid that he won't like me back and that I would lose him and I can't risk that. Because I love him too much to lose him, instead of confronting my feelings, I buried it deep in my heart somewhere until it fades away, but instead of making me feel better, I think it made it even worse. Because I was jealous of that girl, because she made him happy and I didn't, and I wished that I was her so bad to the point where I hope they would just break up so that I could be her or replace her, but it doesn't work that way, and taking her away from him would mean hurting him and I don't want to see him get hurt and I can't do that to him, because she makes him happy and he makes her happy. And seeing him smile even if though it isn't because of me, it's enough. If he's happy I'm happy. And I know it would take me a long time to get over him but I guess I'll be right.” you basically just spilled everything out to him, he was still pretty much clueless about who you were referring to, which you were glad for. It’s better that he doesn’t know that it’s him. It’s better this way.

And then he just stared at you, and you immediately saw sadness cloud his features.

“See this is what it was talking about earlier, look at you, now you look sad,” you point out.

“No no no it's not that, it's kind of like I was in the same position as you back then with someone else before I even met Maxine,”

“But whoever that guy is it's lost, that guy would have been lucky to have you,” he added, and that cheered you up a bit.

“Damn straight, but I mean it really isn't his fault and it's okay I guess, at least i didn't lose him, he's still my friend, and I love him so.” you shrugged.

“If I do end up meeting this guy at some point, I'm already asking in advance for your permission for me to kick his ass,” he said.

“Oh Spencer, permission granted.” you chuckled.

“But, jokes aside, are you sure you're okay?” he asked again.

“A bit, I got it out of my chest so...”

“Did you know that for women, recovery after a breakup or heartbreak was greatly hindered if not entirely stalled. As the number of splits increased, the mental health of women down-spiraled. And I know you two were technically not together, but I can see you hurting. We're here, okay? Me and the team, if you need a shoulder to cry on I'm just a phone call away.” he offered.

“I know, Spence, I know, and I might even take you up on that offer sometime.”

“Look, I'm not okay and you know that, but I'm certainly doing better. I just maybe need to take time to sort my feelings out first, and I know that it'll obviously take time but, I'll heal. So don't you worry about me, I'll be fine.” you stated. “Thank you,” “For what?” “for listening.” he just smiled down at you, before planting a soft kiss on your forehead. You saw Maxine staring at the two of you, and that gave you a window to let Spencer go. “Well looks like your bride's looking for you, so I'll let you go then.” Spencer walked away from you and back to Maxine’s side. You stood next to JJ, as she wrapped an comforting arm around your shoulder, and yours settled on her waist. Out of all the team members that recide within the BAU, JJ’s the one that knew what was going on. “You okay?” JJ asked. “I’ll be fine, JJ.” “We’re here Y/N, okay? You’re the strongest, bravest woman I know, you’ll get through this. I know you will.” “Thanks, JJ, and I hope I do.”

[heloisedaphnebrightmore]

Prompt list!

Below you can find a list of prompts you can send to me to write a fic around when my requests will be open or when I am having a sleepover. 

Prompt categories are;

Fluff prompts

Sarcastic/Fun/Spicy prompts

Angst prompts

Some of the prompts are my own, but most of them are collected from different people. 

I have put the credit on the bottom of the list with their original post and account. 

Fluff prompts:

“You smell really nice.”

“I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass.”

“Would it be all right if I borrowed your sweater? It smells like you.”

“Did... did you just kiss me?”

"Isn't the view beautiful?"

A: “Why are you wearing my sweater?” B: “Because it smells like you.”

"Stop looking at me like that!"

“If you steal the blankets, I am going to put my cold feet on you.”

A: “Is that my shirt?” B: “You mean our shirt?”

“You’re quite comfy.”

“Your bed hair is really adorable.”

“Aw, you’re blushing.”

“Uh oh, I know that look. What do you want?”

“I like the way your hand fits in mine.”

“There’s something in the corner of your lips... can I?”

A: “Do I look weird?” B: “No, like... It’s just, I can’t believe you’re actually wearing my clothes.”

“I can’t get over how a few months ago I wanted to learn your name and now you’re having breakfast with me in my sweater.”

“You are so beautiful — So fucking beautiful. “

“It’s not a double date. We’re just third and fourth wheeling.”

"Quick, kiss me!"

A: “You should probably go home.” B: “But I’m already home.”

“I just want to see you happy.”

“I couldn’t get you out of my mind.”

“Laughing suits you.”

“I told you to take care of yourself.”

"You look better in my clothes than I do."

“You take the bed you need it more than me.”

“Now I know where half my wardrobe went.”

“You’re not hurting me, you’re not heavy. I’ve got you, love.”

A: “I’m such a mess.” B: “I love it when you’re a mess!”

“I can’t think around you.”

“Stop moving! I’m going to have to start counting all over again!”

“Can you please stop biting your lip…it’s distracting.”

“Why are you naked?”

"How mad would you be if I kissed you?"

“Please stop rolling your shirt sleeves up, it’s terribly distracting”

“Are you going to kiss me or what?”

“Can I hug you? Just for a second.”

“How blind can you be not to see that I have liked you since forever?”

A: “You owe me.” B: “Fine, whatever you’d like.”

“I hate how much I want you.”

“I think… I think I like you.”

“The world could be on fire and I’d still be happy as long as i’m with you.”

"Did I just say that out loud?"

“You are all I can think of and it drives me crazy.”

Sarcastic/Fun/Spicy prompts:

“Do I get bonus points if I act like I care?”

“And you wonder why you’re still single.”

“She may seem like lollipops and rainbows, but I bet behind closed doors she’s latex and whips.”

“I don’t have enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel.”

A: “Somebody’s cranky.” B: “Somebody needs to shut up.”

“I’m going to hit/punch you so hard, it’ll make your ancestors dizzy.”

“I already know that I’m going to hell. At this point it’s really ‘go big or go home’.”

A: “Why should we date?” B: “Because we are attracted to each other.” A: “I am attracted to pie, but I do not feel the need to date pie.”

“Sarcasm is the body’s natural reaction to stupidity.”

“Excuse me. I have to go make a scene.”

A: “You’re questioning my methods.” B: “I’m not questioning it I’m saying it’s stupid.”

“You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions.”

A: “I didn’t do it!” B: “Then why are you laughing?” A: “Because whoever did it is a freaking genius.”

“I didn’t mean it like that! Stop making everything I say dirty!”

“Darling I love you and all, but please step out of the kitchen.”

A: “You make no sense to me.” B: “Welcome to my life.”

“As beautiful as you look, all I want to do is rip that dress off right now.”

“Hold on. You’re telling me that you want to go out to the creepy woods in the middle of the night on a full moon? Really? Really? Think before you answer.”

A: “You come here often?” B: “Well considering I work here, yes.”

“Are you flirting with me?”

“You are so drunk.”

“We only have one room left for the night…”

“Hello Ms./Mr. Grumpy.”

A: “Can we keep him/her?” B: “S/he is not an animal.”

“Do you talk to your mother with that mouth?”

“I’d punch you, but that’d ruin that pretty little face of yours.”

A: “Where have you been all my life?” B: “Hiding from you”

“I will have you know, boobs proved that men can focus on two things at once.”

A: “So, it’s a date?” B: “Nope. not a date”

“If you keep stuttering, I will think that you might like me.”

“I had a dream about you last night. I’d tell you what happened, but it’s way too inappropriate.”

A: “It’s because I’m so attractive isn’t it?” B: “I say this and I cannot stress this enough. I find you completely repulsive.”

“I was just wondering how long it’s going to be before you realise, I like you and admit that you like me back.”

A: “You’re an idiot.” B: “But I’m your idiot.”

“Sorry, is that supposed to impress me?”

“Are you trying to turn me on right now or are you really just that oblivious?”

“That was the prettiest sound I’ve ever heard.”

“I’m never going to finish this if you keep doing that.”

“I’m a little drunk and a little horny.”

“My eyes are up here!”

“Do you find it sexy when girls make the first move, or should I wait for you to do it yourself?”

“I may or may not have left some... marks.”

“I’m going to ruin that pretty makeup.”

“I thought your laugh was the prettiest sound in the world. I was wrong, it’s your moans.”

“Are you planning on kissing me today or we are waiting for something?”

Angst prompts:

“I love you! Is that what you wanted to hear?”

“We both know that I should walk away, but I can’t.”

“Don’t ask her out again, please… You’re killing me, every single time you do that.”

“What happened to us?”

“Love isn’t supposed to hurt this badly.”

“You said you needed space. I let you move out, I let you go out with your friends without me, I even met you once a week to give you space and you’re still unsure. I’m starting to think that an entire universe apart wouldn’t be enough space for you.”

“I’m sorry, I’m not what you signed up for.”

“Don’t pretend like you’re not happy to see me like this.”

“I don’t think you understand how much you hurt me.”

“Aren’t you even going to cry?”

“Find somebody else to kiss your ass.”

“I don’t know who you are anymore.”

“How long are going to pretend that everything is okay?”

“Just leave me alone.”

“Can we please pretend I never said that?”

“When I said I loved you, I meant it.”

“Is there any part of you, deep down, that might love me back?”

“We agreed this was just physical!”

“I don’t want to feel this. I want to be numb.”

“There’s just no pleasing you, is there?”

“Maybe they were right, you never did change.”

A: “Don’t look at me like that.” B: “Like what?” A: “Like you still love me.”

“Move out of my way before I make you.”

A: “They warned me about this.” B: “About what?” A: “You.”

“I can’t keep playing pretend.”

“Can I at least tell my side of the story?”

“I didn’t know where else to go.”

“I wish I’d never met you.”

“Stop sending me mixed signals.”

“I don’t think you understand how much you hurt me.”

“I thought you liked me.”

“Get out.”

“Can’t you listen for one second?”

“Were you just playing with my feelings?”

“I trusted you. I feel so dumb.”

“What am I in your life? Because as of lately I feel as though I’ve been nothing to you.”

“Is she really just a friend?”

“I hope you are happy, you won.”

“I wish I could believe you.”

“Is your image really more important than us?”

“I’m scared.”

“Am I not important to you anymore?”

“How could you let them say that about me?”

“Why didn’t you fight for us?”

“Just leave me alone.”

Credits: 

[x] by @blisfvll 

[x] by @marauder-exe 

[x] by @kaiiton 

[x] by @writings-of-a-hufflepuff 

[x] by @moanlightlust 

[x] by @slytherinsqueen 

[woogyu]

Funny Drabble Game

Drabble Prompts; fluff | angst | funny (when requesting PLEASE add which prompt list it is from)

Can have up to 3 prompts per request + can send multiple requests.

They will all be written for fem reader. I’m very sorry about this, it is just because of what I know/have experience in writing.

Please format requests as follows; funny member prompt # or #s.

ex. funny member #12 + #15

ex. funny florist!member x student!reader #14

Send your requests/asks: here

~ prompts under the cut ~

crossed out = don’t request, usually for when I’ve gotten tired of a specific prompt coming up too often or I don’t like it

Drabble Prompts [credit; https://justforshitsandcackles.tumblr.com ]

“You’re such a fun drunk.”

“Since my dog likes you then i guess i like you.”

“Tell them to fuck off.”

“It’s six o’clock in the morning, you’re not having vodka.”

“I want to strangle you 99% of the time.”

“Could you not suck for five minutes?”

“The ladies love a guy who’s good with kids.”

“You can’t banish me! This is my bed/bedroom too!”

“You’re seriously like a man-child.”

“Well thats tragic.”

“I’m too sober for this.”

“You are actually insane!”

“I think you’re actually satan.”

“It’s like -50 degrees in here.”

“Laugh at my jokes! They’re funny and you know it!”

“Sorry isn’t going to help when i kick your ass!”

“Don’t let one of them electrocute themselves or something.”

“Welcome back. Now fucking help me.”

“Do you find this amusing, fuck face?”

“Holy shit! That thing is huge!”

“Don’t kink shame me.”

“I hope i’m never stuck with you on a deserted island.”

“I just cleaned that!”

“Don’t get sassy with me!”

“What do you have behind your back?”

“If you interrupt me one more time, so help me god.”

“Not to toot my own horn or anything, but the dog loves me more.”

“I’m going to put on some clothes before you say anything else.”

“Bite me.” “If you insist.”

“Im not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.”

“I need you to be my fake girlfriend/boyfriend.”

“Can you stop playing connect the dots with my freckles?”

“You snuck into my room, at 4am..to cuddle?”

“If we get caught i’m blaming you.”

“What? No! I wasn’t staring..i-i was looking at something behind you!”

“I locked the keys in the car.”

“This is why we can’t have nice things.”

“Wait a minute. Are you jealous?”

“Define normal.”

“Do i get bonus points if i act like i care?”

“Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and i don’t speak english.”

“Don’t look for any redeeming qualities. I don’t have any.”

“And you wonder why you’re single.”

“Remind me to kill you. Please.”

“I’m listening to you. I’m just not paying attention.”

“She’s crazy. and just when you think you’ve reached the bottom of her craziness, theres a crazy underground garage.”

“Sorry. I don’t speak skank.”

“My middle finger salutes you.”

“I don’t think i could ever stab someone. I mean, lets be honest, i can barely get the straw in the capri sun.”

“I don’t have enough middle fingers to let you know how i feel.”

“Somebodys cranky.” “Somebody needs to shut up.”

“All due respect but thats a bunch of crap.”

“I am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence behind.”

“Excuse me. I have to go make a scene.”

“What did i tell you about calling him/her the devil?” “That it’s offensive to the devil?”

“I heard that!” “You were supposed to!”

“I’m not weird. I’m limited edition.”

“If history repeats itself, i am so getting a dinosaur.”

“You seem somewhat familiar. have i threatened you before?”

“Even when we were kids, i always kicked your ass!”

“Sarcasm is the body’s natural reaction to stupidity.”

“Don’t look in her eyes, she might steal your soul.”

“She’s hot, but she’s evil.”

“Do i regret it? Yes. Would i do it again? Probably.”

“You’re going to burn in a very special level in hell. A level they reserve for child molesters, animal abusers, and people who talk at the theater.”

“I’m not a damsel in distress. i’m a damsel doing damage.”

“Sometimes i question my sanity. Occasionally it replies.”

“Why should we date?” “Because we’re attracted to each other.” “I am attracted to pie, but i do not feel the need to date pie.”

“Why does everyone assume the worst of me.” “It saves time.”

“You’ve successfully cured him/her of anything interesting about his/her personality.”

“Neither one of us is drunk enough for this conversation.”

“Wow somebody needs a happy meal.”

“I didn’t do it!” “Then why are you laughing?” “Because whoever did it is a freaking genius.”

“Idiots. I’m surrounded by idiots.”

“You couldn’t handle me even if i came with instructions.”

“Obviously you have mistaken me for somebody who gives a shit.”

“I’m so glad you could come.” “Cut the crap. give me a drink.”

“Where have you been all my life?” “Hiding from you.”

“I can tell that you think what you’re saying is funny, but…no.”

“If you pull out my earphones, i will pull out your lungs.”

“Ah, he’s playing hard-to-get. thats cute.”

“I feel like a freakin’ soccer mom.”

“My ex? Yeah id still hit that. Except this time it would be with a car or a baseball bat.”

“Such big evil in such a little thing.”

“For the love of fuck.” “Yep, thats me. i love to fuck.”

“Are you ready to go?” “Yeah. let me grab my machete.” “We’re going to sephora. no machetes needed.”

Clears throat seriously, “Yas bitch.”

“No road trip is complete without the snacks. So go in there and buy everything you can fit in a tiny cart.”

“I’m all for making you miserable by being insufferable, but unfortunately i have things to do today.”

“Come on, you can help me make conspiracy theories. If you make an especially good one, ill pay for dinner.”

“You know what? Why not? I haven’t ruined my life yet this week. Lets go.”

“Do these dark circles under my eyes say nothing to you about how i am doing?”

“If i didn’t know you better, id say you were trying to flirt by giving me books.”

“What are you talking about? Im hilarious!”

“Duct tape? Duct tape is not going to fix this!”

“What did you think? That you were going to fight him?”

“You’re blocking the view.” “I am the view.”

“Why are you on the floor?” “Tying my shoe.” “You’re wearing rain-boots.”

“Cant stop me from slaying!”

“Close your eyes and imagine it, all the dogs in the world.”

“Be careful, he’s so sweet you might get diabetes.”

“Would you reconsider if i was sober?”

“Stop running i’m wearing flip flops!”

“Why are you holding your boobs?”

“I wouldn’t call it stalking, more like far distance admiring.”

“You need to stop making her laugh! you’re ruining her makeup!”

“I’m sure i can get some kind of sexual gratification from just staring at him if i try hard enough.”

“I’m not sure if its a sexual thing or not.”

“I’m either in the mood for french fries or to rip someone’s head off. Hmmm. decisions, decisions.”

“If you’re not out of the shower in the next five minutes, i’m going to cut your fucking hair off to make your life quicker.”

“No, i will not dress up as a chicken.”

“I never told my extended family that we broke up, and now they want to know when you’re coming over for dinner again.”

“I need a date to my relatives wedding, and i’ve already asked literally everyone else i know, so i know you probably hate me, but please say yes. Otherwise they’ll try to set me up with someone, and they have awful taste.”

“One more sound and i swear to-”

“Sometimes when (name) texts me, i just pretend they didn’t so i don’t have to respond.”

“You gave our pigeon boyfriend the wrong beans!”

“If i’m like 50 and still single, ill marry you because tax benefits.”

“Please, never have children.”

“I know its like 11pm, but i’m on my way to your house with nacho fries.”

“Sometimes i wish i was gay so i wouldn’t have to deal with all these dumbass boys.

“You know, would’ve been nice if you told me your whole ass family was coming to this dinner! I look like a troll.”

“Im going to the party to pet the dog, no thanks drugs.”

“I hope in college i get some excuse to deck him. Maybe with a bottle or something, ill wing it and be like “oops, sorry shithead, my hand slipped.”

“What is this shit…i’m just trying to graduate.”

“Ooo, i sense attitude in your tone.”

“Guess who only got two hours of sleep? Me, lol, i’m gonna die.“

“I’m gonna strangle you.” “Is that a threat or a promise?”

“Superheroes aren’t allowed in my house, especially after they’ve destroyed my living room. go away.”

“oh you’re coming. even if i have to drag you through the snow in your pajamas.”

“i swear you’re gonna end up getting like botox in your tits or something.” “well i mean-” “whAT DO YOU MEAN?!”

[9worldstales]

Loki & Thor in “Thor & Loki – Double Trouble” n° 2

I really, really, really wanted to read this one from when it was announced so here are my two cents on the new number.

BEWARE FOR SPOILERS?

So, “Double trouble” continues on the same line on which it’s started. It’s fun and cute and it’s based on having a funny situation after another, in total contrast with “Thor” of this month.

Anyway, where were we?

We’ve left Thor and Loki having to deal with Mildred, the sister of the Midgard serpent, which is really not happy at having been summoned.

The story starts… showing us two panels. In one we can see Thor’s eyes, in the other Loki’s.

Although they’re physically different, the fact they’re shown in the same way, remarks a similarity. It’ll be something recurring in this episode.

Thor is conveniently saying it’s all Loki’s fault.

Now... I won’t deny Loki has a HUGE share of the blame, but Thor knew they shouldn’t take the lur, knew it could be dangerous, and that giving it to his brother was a bad idea and yet did it anyway over a dare. He was a willing accomplice and, while he couldn’t figure out the full extent of what this would have caused, he could have avoided the whole thing by saying ‘no, I’m not retrieving the lur’. He didn’t, afraid he would look a coward so yes, he’s also to blame.

Loki, who’s still being held there by Thor, points out whoever is the fault (and he remarks he’s not conceding anything), this doesn’t matter as they’re both doomed.

He seems relatively calm and rational (really, Loki, shouldn’t you worry a little?) and I really wonder why he wanted to play that lur so badly, he recognized Mildred so maybe he knew what playing it would cause, beyond causing mischief.

I mean, to use a way to say from my country which is particularly fitting here, was the play worth the candle?

Mildred attacks, parting them and sending them both flying.

Thor says he guess it’s up to the more HEROIC brother to make short work of this mess as he tried to use his hammer against Mildred.

Indeed, the siblings have a poor relation, as this is also a jab implying Loki is ‘less heroic’ (coward), as well as a demonstration of Thor’s big ego. Loki doesn’t seem offended though as he pats dust away from his clothes and smiles as he agrees and look at his brother.

There’s to wonder why Thor kept him there if he thought he could solve it on his own, did he want to show off?

Mjolnir hits Mildred. Thor seems proud of this but Loki is much faster to understand this only angered her more.

As the siblings hurriedly and not so heroically run away (in an hilarious way... I mean, look at them!), chased by a furious Mildred, Thor tells Loki to be the one to think of something.

Loki’s plan… is to have a bouquet of roses magically appear and then to try to swoon Mildred over.

Honestly it’s hilarious (he even has a shine effect around) and, considering the cover, one might even think it would work (it doesn’t as Mildred uses her tongue to toss him away) but it’s not really particularly clever or make special use of magic, which should be Loki’s two strongest points.

Still it’s interesting how he tries to deal with her pacifically, not fighting but trying to ‘make friends’.

Anyway, as Loki flies away, Thor comments he’s not her type.

Mildred heads for the market, devastating it. It’s probably a good thing this is meant to be a funny thing or there would be a massacre. Instead the market place seems to be empty.

Thor points out they need a new, new plan to which Loki retorts it’s Thor’s turn.

I like the visual of the panel, with Mildred’s body cutting the 4 panels in halves and Loki and Thor alternating between panels, Loki on a side and Thor in the other, well balancing the symmetry of the scene.

Thor spots the lur and makes a run for it, telling Loki to distract Mildred. Loki points out that was what he was trying to do previously but it didn’t work.

So… I take if this was what he was trying to do when he attempted to seduce her, Thor didn’t realize and he didn’t take the hint.

It’s also clear Loki doesn’t look pleased with this plan, yet he still does what his brother says and, after catching Mildred’s attention, since Thor has previously suggested he was rejected because he wasn’t her type, he turns himself in a snake… maybe thinking she might like him more in this form.

She doesn’t.

As Thor grabs the ‘dreaded object of his brother’s schemes’ (which actually belonged to Odin and Thor totally contributed in handing it to Loki) Loki, in his snake form, escapes from Mildred, urging him to act.

Thor explains he believes if a note summoned her, another note might send her back so he bets on him guessing it. I’ll say it would have been better ask Loki first if he had an idea which one it could be as it’s Loki who’s the magician but whatever, Thor has the good luck of being the heroic main character.

Loki, still in snake form, comments it’s a solid plan… (it’s not really, it’s more a risky bet in Loki’s style) and then we see him draped on his brother’s shoulders, which is kind of cute, as he wonders if it did work, wearing the same expression as his brother.

Call me weird but I find adourable Loki crawled on Thor’s shoulders in snake form and Thor isn’t even fazed by it, as if this was perfectly normal for him.

Anyway turns out Thor has summoned an even bigger snake, which Loki recognizes as Mildred’s mom.

Mildred is dragged home by her mother and while Thor and Loki comment on how she’s going to be grounded, a voice calls them, saying their names in 2 different fonts. It’s Odin who wants to know what’s going on.

In the most (im)mature manner the siblings blame each other in a mirroring way, each refusing to act as an adult and take his share of the blame.

Odin though, is distraught over the loss of his favourite ice cream stall (who cares about the rest of the market and possibly of the city being in ruin?) and, as the siblings get another image in which their position mirror each other...

...he condemns them to clean up duty.

Thor is pissed but, as he carries a huge load of ruins, comments maybe this will curb Loki’s craving for mischief. Obviously not, as Loki, who’s carrying just a rock, immediately starts suggesting something. Thor cuts him, insisting he doesn’t want to hear it.

Loki is disappointed, he doesn’t get what Thor’s problem is.

Thor, covering his ears, insists Loki does this to him every! Time!

Loki still doesn’t get the problem, saying he’s just trying to keep the days lively with intriguing solutions to their problems and asks him if he wouldn’t like the cleanup done faster… so Thor can go chase his adouring fans.

Really, I do wonder if Loki does all this not so much for the mischief but because this is the only way he knows to have Thor paying him attention. He really doesn’t seem to get what he’s doing that’s so bad… but he seems to get that Thor would prefer to be elsewhere than with him.

Anyway Loki’s ‘brilliant’ plan is to use his cunning and genius and… some sort of crystal ball he has snatched from Odin’s vault while Thor was escaping from the guards because sacred objects can be useful and it’s better to be prepared. When Thor asks what the ball does Loki claims he’s glad Thor asked… but it turns out he has no idea what it does and discovers it just by testing the ball.

I take back my previous speculation about Loki having better chances than Thor to know which note to play with the lur. It seems Loki’s way to deal with magical objects it’s not to read instructions but to test try it on the nearby object. Really Thor, why would you trust ANYTHING in your brother’s hands?

Well, credits when it’s due, Thor tells him to put it back and, after finding back his hammer that he has somehow left behind, that it will be a bad idea.

I’m not really sure why we had this scene with Thor searching for his hammer. Is it a clue Thor isn’t the ordered type? Is it going to be relevant later on because, let’s say, Thor picked up the wrong hammer or something like that? Or it’s just to fill space? No idea.

Anyway as Loki asks him if he wants to resume clean up duty, Thor gives up.

Loki tells him to then shut up and let the smart brother do some cool magic.

Now… hum… I’m not really sure it’s smart to use some magical artifact Loki doesn’t really know how it works but whatever, we know this is just the prelude for another disaster.

Again they reinforce the previous dynamics, where Thor defined himself the heroic brother, Loki calls himself the smart brother… and even if Thor knows it’s a bad idea, ultimately he plays along because he doesn’t want to do the clean up.

Anyway the panel with Loki holding the ball is quite awesome, there’s the focus on the shining ball, Loki on the front in a powerful position and Thor behind, which causes him to seem conveniently of the same idea as his brother, which, symbolically, proves how they’re actually the same. Loki partially standing in front of him connects their figures, reinforcing the idea they’re on the same page.

In a way this episode showed them more similar than they seem to think to be, remember also how they previously blamed each other in an almost mirroring manner?

Or how Thor totally risked everything randomly playing the lur even if he had no idea if it would make matters better or worse?

I don’t know if there’s a goal in this comic beyond being funny, but I wonder if it could be they could understand they’re more similar than they think.

Whatever, Loki is clearly very happy to do his cool magic to the point he doesn’t even notice some sort of hole is opening up below them. Thor does and manages to warn his brother about it just in time for Loki to begin to say he is sure it’s noth—before they fall through it, losing hold of the hammer and the ball..

Thor blames Loki for this (forgetting he has allowed him to play in hope he wouldn’t have to clean up things) while Loki insists he maintains no responsibility.

Again though the image plays on how they’re similar. Both let go of their objects and both are in almost exactly the same pose, although Thor is upside down compared to Loki.

The comic ends here.

I’ve to say this volume was very well balanced in term of portraying both the siblings, with the visual depicting them often in the same position or in a mirroring one, but also with them making mistakes similar to their counterpart, or adopting their same behaviour.

So, as I said before, I don’t know if this comic has a point beyond the cute and funny tales but maybe it’s trying to set up the brothers so that they’ll realize they’re more similar than different?

We’ll see, maybe the meaning is just to make us smile, and in these times of pandemic this too is an important goal.

Anyway I love how cute and funny it is, I love the characters’ expressions and the dynamic of her art, the costant bitching of the siblings and... everything really.

Really, maybe it’s just a weird AU universe story but it’s lovely, you must read it.

As for me I just can’t wait to see the next episode!

[tomiokai]

Drunk Words, Sober Thoughts || Spencer Reid

Masterlist

A/N: This is a fic I have wanted to write for a long time, and I have read this concept a whole bunch of times from different fandom so it isn’t my original idea. Kudos to whoever made this idea first, I love it, but I did want to write one with my own twist. So yeah, enjoy. I don’t drink so bare with me. Maybe a happy part two, possibly. 

Please don’t copy my works, but if you do want to use it as inspiration please give me credit, at least tag me. I do read a lot and when I see my ideas getting stolen and then turned into new stories it really hurts me.

Summary: After Y/n and Spencer’s one-sided breakup, Y/n gets drunk on their breakup anniversary and calls Spencer and admits that she still loves him and that she is mothering his child. This is after prison Spencer so he isn’t as nice!

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Category: Angst

Warnings: Angst. Not a happy ending, I really wanted it to be a happy ending but life sucks so whatever. Alcohol obviously. Have your tissues ready if you are sensitive. Swearing. 

Word Count: 3.2k

_

“I’m sorry Y/n but I don’t love you anymore. Everything about us is just so complicated. We’re always fighting and arguing, and my job is very stressful and time-consuming, our fire burned out a long time ago and we just don’t belong together anymore. I just can’t do this with you, I’m sorry and I hope you’ll find someone else and please forgive me one day” 

Those were the words that ended our 2-year relationship. Spencer didn’t love me anymore. He left me standing there in the rain outside of the BAU, 10 o’clock at night, in the dark, alone. He walked away from me, from our child that he didn’t even know about, I was going to tell him but he left before I could. And I knew that if I told him about our child I would burden him with our child. With me. 

Of course the team was devastated when they were informed that we had broken up.

 Garcia, JJ, Emily, and I still hang out regularly, we would go to nightclubs, and bars and all sorts of fun places together, we never lost our connection with each other. Spencer was a topic that was never brought up when we hung out, but when he was the whole mood would be killed. 

Rossi and I would meet up every second Saturday of the month and we would have a nice dinner together and talk, nothing romantic, only a father-daughter relationship. He was also the godfather to Spencer and I’s child. And of course Penelope was the godmother, it was a tough decision between the girls, but since Penelope had the least dangerous part of the job she was the best choice.  

Henry Y/l/n Reid was the beautiful baby boy I had given birth to on October 31 weighing 7.6 pounds. A coincidence to say the least, it was on Spencer’s favorite holiday. He took up almost all of Spencer’s facial features, only leaving Henry with my y/h/c hair, and plump lips. He looked too much like Spencer, anyone who looked at Henry would immediately assume he was Spencer’s. When I was in labor, practically the whole team came rushing to the hospital leaving Spencer alone at the BAU for a few hours. I had made everyone keep it a secret to not tell Spencer until I decided too and so when they had gone back they all had their own excuses. It has been two years since our breakup, I had raised him myself, along with the girls, and Rossi. It was hard being a single mother, 2-year-old Henry had definitely inherited Spencer’s genius brain and had on multiple occasions asked where his daddy was. Every time the answer would be, “Daddy has a very busy job and doesn’t have time, he travels a lot, but he’s coming back really soon”.  And that was how it went every single day for two years. 

On many occasions JJ would suggest I tell Spencer but every time I would decline and say, “not yet”.  

All this time I was still madly in love with Spencer. Every night I would cry myself to sleep knowing the person I loved the most other than Henry didn’t love me back. He had moved on, on several occasions Emily would come to tell me about the girls she would see Spencer flirting with. It wasn’t something I wanted to know, but I needed to know. A very small part of my heart suggests that if I had told Spencer the night I found out about Henry he would have never left me, but Spencer had stopped loving me long before that and telling him would burden him to me. I loved him, so so much, and it was all my fault he didn’t love me back. Rossi, every time we met up would tell me it wasn’t my fault that Spencer had fallen out of love with me, but deep down inside of me it felt like it was. Maybe it was because of Maeve, maybe not. 

Laying in bed crying, that is exactly what I was doing right this moment. The tears spilling out of my eyes staining the plush white pillow under my head, my body curled in the fetal position. Trembling, shaking, coldness, and the choked sobs from my lips filled the air. Henry completely oblivious of what's happening, was sleeping in the room next door. Whenever Henry saw me cry he would wrap me in a tight long hug, his small arms squeezing me tightly, his cheek on my shoulders, he never said anything, just hugged me. He truly was a smart little boy. 

Tonight's tears were different. They didn’t just come out of my eyes, they poured out. Today marked the official 2 year break up anniversary, two whole years knowing the person you loved the most probably had someone else on their mind. 

‘He never loved you.’

‘He’s too good for you.’

‘He hates you.’

‘He loves someone else.’

‘He wants nothing to do with you.’

‘He left you alone.’

‘YOU WEREN’T GOOD ENOUGH, THAT’S WHY HE LEFT YOU.’

‘YOU'RE A WHORE.’

‘YOU'RE UGLY.’ 

‘YOU DON’T DESERVE LOVE.”

The voices never stopped, slapping at my brain. The pounding just got worse whenever I tried to ignore it. 

That's it. I bolted up from my bed and started walking towards the kitchen. Wine, Vodka, Beer, all those sounded great right now. And you know what that’s exactly what's going to happen. To get wasted. I’m never this reckless, but tonight, tonight was an exception, it hurt too much, the pain jabbing at my heart was too much to handle. 

I stomped quietly down the halls of my apartment and swung the kitchen cabinet door that held the booze open. Nothing. 

Plan b. 

Grabbing the skimpiest dress I owned I threw it on and taped up on some light makeup. The dress I had on looked so slutty I almost decided to just cancel my plans, the dress was a deep dark shade of emerald green, it had almost the thinnest straps, a plunging neckline, and a skirt that stopped at the top of my thighs. For makeup a smokey eye with gold and blood-red lipstick. I grabbed my long y/h/c hair and pulled it into a slick, tight ponytail at the top of my head and turned to the bathroom mirror. I looked like a desperate whore, I had thought to myself as I stared at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. The jabbing was not going to let me rest so I threw my stupid thoughts about being a whore out of my head and called Rossi. 

David picked up on the third ring.

“Y/n why are you calling me at 10:30pm?” David’s voice came from the other end. 

“I’m so sorry David for waking you up so late but could you please please please come to my apartment and watch Henry for a few hours? He’s asleep already! All you have to do is listen for him.” My voice pleaded, sounding more desperate than the time I begged Spencer to come back. 

“Fine, but you owe me a coffee tomorrow,” David answered shuffling around his apartment for a coat and his keys. “I’ll be there in 3 minutes. 

“Thank you, see you,” I said into the phone and hung up.

Three minutes passed and as Rossi promised he showed up. 

I swung the door open as soon as I heard the knock on the door. 

Rossi just stood there looking at me with a disapproving look on his face. I could tell he already knew what I was up to. After all he is a profiler. 

I stepped aside so David could step in. 

“I’m only doing this because I know you need this,” Rossi said stepping in. 

“Thank you,” I said a small smile on my face. 

“Be safe okay? And don’t do anything you’ll regret.” David said, taking off his coat and sitting down in the armchair by the tv. 

“Okay. I’ll be back in a few hours and the guest room is always open.” I said grabbing my purse and closing the door. 

I called a cab to take me to the most popular night club. The more people the better. The driver kept eyeing me throughout the entire car ride, and I get why, I did dress like a lady that wanted nothing but attention. 

When we stopped in front of the club, I jumped out and threw my money to the driver before he could say anything and walked away and into the club. 

The club was crowded as I had suspected, this was good this way I blended in. 

As I made my way to the bar part of the club, I felt insane amounts of prying eyes on me, but I chose to ignore all of them.

“I’d like the strongest drink you have here,” I said to the bartender as I slapped down a few bucks.

“Break up?” The bartender asked as he picked up the money. 

“You can say that,” I said holding the tears back. 

I waited as the male bartender, Elliot I had read on his tag, prepared my drink. All around me were couples dancing and grinding against each other. Jealousy. that's what I was feeling right now at the moment. 

The bartender brought back my drink and I downed it in a matter of seconds. What came afterward hit strong. The drink made my mind fuzzy and fluffy. That’s good. I wanted to feel the clouds. Right? 

“I’ll take three more of these.”  I slurred already dizzy. 

“I’m sorry miss but you can’t have more than three of these, they are very strong.” The bartender said back. 

“I’ll pay double,” I answered.

“I’m sorry miss, but it's against policy, and I have a good idea how you are feeling, and it may seem like a good idea right now, but it’ll suck later,” Elliot responds back. 

“Fine, two more than,” I said handing him more bills. 

He took the money without any words and walked to the back to prepare the drinks. I may be no profiler but I can sure as hell tell he thinks I’m psychotic.

Elliot brought back my drinks, and I gave him a quick thanks. I grabbed my second glass and stared around me again.  Happy couples everywhere. Ugh. I downed my second glass as an attractive man approached me. 

“Hey pretty lady, mind if I take you home for tonight?” The man asked. 

I thought about it. I really did. But I loved Spencer way too much. “No thank you,” I answered. 

“Come on.” The man said, grabbing my hand roughly. His face dangerously close to mine that I could smell his disgusting breath.

“NO THANKS,” I repeated trying to pull my wrists away.

His hand tightened against my arm. “Come on you whore! You're basically asking for it by the way you're dressed.” The man spat. 

I started struggling and pulling but the man wouldn’t let go one bit. 

“Hey let her go, the lady said no,” Elliot said approaching the counter towards us. 

The man looked at me in disgust and let go of my wrists and walked away stomping his feet. 

“Thanks,” I said as tears started spilling out of my eyes. 

“Yeah no problem, be safe okay?” He asked. 

“Yeah okay,” I answered as I chugged my last glass of alcohol.

I stood up, wobbling, and tried my best to make my way out of the club. 

I could still hear the music as I walked out of the club. It was pouring rain outside. Great. My stupid ass didn’t bring a jacket.  I saw a phone booth a few feet away and I quickly made my way to it, tripping and stumbling a bit. Everything around me was spinning and I felt like I could be flying right now. I closed the door to the phone booth and just clutched to the wall as I tried to sort out all my thoughts. 

Then an idea struck me. Call Spencer Reid. 

If I wasn’t drunk I wouldn’t have done it, but now it was too late, the numbers were already dialed, and the phone was already against my ear. 

On the fifth ring he picked up. He picked up. Picked up. He actually picked up.

“Hello?” Came Spencer's angelic voice, although he sounded pissed. 

“Spencer? Is- Is that you?” I slurred stuttering like crazy. I already knew but I had to make sure.

“Y/n is that you? Why do you sound drunk?” Spencer’s voice came.

“Of course dummy I’m drunk, why else would I be calling.” I laughed, bubbly hiccups erupting my mouth. 

“Why are you calling me y/n, it's one in the morning and I’m kind of busy.” He said, definitely pissed.  “Wait are you outside?”

“Y-yes,” I answered back.

There was a long pause. 

What I said next was not something I would have said if I wasn’t pissed drunk. “I really miss you Spence. And, and I love you so much and I hate that you left m-”

“Stop Y/n I don’t want to hear it. I told you two years ago that I don't love you.” Spencer stopped me.

“Spencer please, please, please. I’m s-s-sorry for whatever i- I did.” I sobbed tears, definitely pouring out of my eyes. 

“I’m sorry Y/n. I told you a million ti-.” Before he could finish, a female voice came on. “Hey babe who is that?”

CRACK. That was my heartbreaking. 

“I’m not your babe Amanda.” I barely hear,  my choked sobs were stopping me from focusing on anything. 

“Is-is that a woman?” I clocked out. 

“Yes it is, I told you I was kinda busy.” Spencer spat. 

That’s it. That’s when I snapped. “THAT’S IT IF YOU’RE GOING TO SLEEP WITH OTHER WOMEN, I WON’T LET YOU MEET HENRY, YOU BASTARD,” I screamed into the poor phone. 

My eyes immediately popped open in horror as I realized what I just yelled. I slapped my hand to my mouth in horror. Tears definitely still pouring out my eyes.

“Who’s Henry?” Spencer asked.

“NO. NO. NO. NO.” I screamed on the phone, still in denial. 

“Get dressed and get out of my house. GO!” I heard Spencer from a distance. “I’m coming to pick you up,” Spencer said to me.

“Why would you fucking do that?” I cried. 

“Because obviously you’re bat shit drunk Y/n. And plus if I left you to die in a random phone box somewhere. Rossi’s going to strangle me. Where are you?” Spencer exclaimed.

“I-I’m on third street in front of the club,” I answered calming down. 

“Okay bye.” He said and hung up. 

“BITCH!” I yelled into the deadline. 

Oh god I’m going to throw up.  I ran out of the phone booth and thankfully my hair is already pulled back. I basically threw up everything I ate for dinner. I rubbed my lips with my arm and saw that my red lipstick was rubbed on my arms which only meant one thing it was rubbed on my cheek too.

I stood by the side of the road both hands in front of me holding my handbag, drenched in rainwater, Mascara running down my soaked cheeks, lipstick smudged. And that’s exactly how I looked when Spencer pulled up on the side of the road. 

Spencer pulled the door open from his seat and motioned me into his car. I climbed into the car and grabbed the seat belt to fasten it but my head was so spiny it was impossible. Spencer grabbed the seat belt from my hands and roughly shoved it in. 

“God you look like a cheap whore,” Spencer stated as he pulled away from the crib.

“I KNOW YOU DON’T HAVE TO RUB IT IN,” I yelled, frustrated. 

“Jesus women calm down I’m just saying,” Spencer said calmly, eyes never leaving the road. 

I sat there in silence frustrated as hell. 

“So who’s Henry? Your new boyfriend?” Spencer sneered.

On any other day when I’m sober I would have played along with it, but no.

“No,” I answered staring straight ahead. 

“Then who is he?” Spencer asked, turning his head to me.

“No one.” I spat, making eye contact with him. 

“You can’t just bring a random guy up and not tell me!” Spencer said, clearly frustrated. 

“YES I CAN,” I yelled.

“JUST TELL ME JESUS CHRIST.” He yelled back.

I bit my lip as I started balling my eyes out. 

“Just tell me.” Spencer urged. 

“HE’S YOUR TWO-YEAR-OLD SON. OKAY NOW DROP IT!” I snapped. 

His eyes widened in surprise. I looked at him in horror, slapping my hand to my mouth. 

“I have a son?” Spencer asked, amazed, but also looking angry. “And you didn’t tell me for two years?” 

I just nodded covering the rest of my face crying into my hands. 

“When were you going to tell me?” He asked.

I didn’t answer.

“WHEN WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME?” Spencer yelled. 

I looked up at him and his face was all red and he was gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles were turning white. 

“I don’t know.” I choked out.

We neared my apartment building and Spencer parked his car. “Get out, I’ll call you when I’m less pissed at you.” Spencer managed between clenched teeth.

I just sat there cause I really didn’t know what to do.

“I SAID GET OUT OF MY CAR NOW!” Spencer yelled, his hands in the air now. 

“OKAY, BYE,” I screamed back and got out of the car and slammed the door shut. Spencer immediately drove away, no hesitation, and never looked back.

I climbed the stairs to my apartment, tears still pouring out my eyes, dress still soaked, and makeup all over. 

When I opened my apartment door Rossi stood up and looked at me. With one look Rossi knew and ran towards me to wrap me in a very tight hug

I dropped my bag onto the floor and hugged Rossi back, crying into his shoulder as he patted my wet hair. 

Part two?

[shishu-writes]

𝟓𝟎𝟎 𝐅𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐂𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧!

Hi! oh my gosh It feels like my blog grew really fast? I’m really grateful to every one of you and I’m so glad that I get to do what I love while also making you guys happy! My 500 follower celebration may not be the most exciting or original but I wanted to do something different for the occasion! Im putting my WIPS on pause and opening up prompt requests! 

Send an ask with a number w/ 2 characters max and I’ll write a short fic or HC (depending on prompt) about it!  Both HAIKYUU! and BNHA characters are available!

*depending on amount of requests, I will cap the amount of requests I take on, sorry 🥺

Requests closed!!

The prompt requests will be open until tomorrow at 6pm CST so send them in! below is the prompt list, all credit for this list goes to @marauder-exe​ !

Angst

“I love you ! Is that what you wanted to hear ?”

“I love him/her, and I know that I shouldn’t.”

“Can you just shut your mouth ?”

“wHY DO YOU KEEP LYING TO ME ?”

“We both know that I should walk away, but I can’t.”

“Wait, he/she has a girlfriend/boyfriend ?"

“I lo—-” “No, please… Don’t say that. You love her/him, not me.”

"Could you just take this pain away ? It hurts, so much… Help me.”

“You’re safe here, I got you.”

“Don’t ask her out again, please… You’re killing me, every single time you ask that.”

“Look, he/she wants you, just make him/her happy.”

“If you go, I’ll know that you never loved me.”

“We never were just friends, and you know it.” “I know it, but you deserve someone better than me.”

“SHE WAS CRYING BECAUSE OF YOU!!!”

“You love me like I’m the person who actually deserves your love.” “But you are the only one who deserves it.”

“I know for a fact that you’re not “fine”.”

“You’re looking at me like.. you’re disgusted. What did I do? Just tell me what I did, please!”

“What happened between us?”

“Nothing has changed!” “Yes it has, and you know it.”

“Love isn’t supposed to hurt this badly.”

“You said you needed space. You were 5,000 miles away for a year, and you’re still unsure. I’m starting to think that an entire universe apart wouldn’t be enough space for you.”

“I remember when he/she/they used to look at me that way”

“I want you to list every lie you ever told me. Then I’ll forgive you.”

“I don’t hate you. I hate that after all of this, you’re still trying to lie to me”

“I can’t keep this secret for you anymore.”

“I’m sorry I’m not what you signed up for.”

“Why she/her/them? It could have been anybody, and you chose to betray me with her/him/them.”

“This will be the last time you lie to me.”

“You never loved me, did you?”

“You made me miserable and I still loved you.”

“Everytime something goes well, I momentarily forget how much I despise you.”

“We’re never going to have a happy ending, just remember that.”

“Don’t pretend like you’re not happy to see me like this.”

“Your mind must be a horrible place.”

“Hand me the gun and I’ll kill him myself.”

“And I thought you loved me."

" And I thought I loved you."

" Aren't you even going to cry?"

“I didn’t expect you to wait forever. I just hoped…”

“Did you always know that you were going to leave?”

“If you cry, I’ll stay, and if I stay that will just give you another reason to hate me.”

“I’m addicted and at this point I don’t think anything could make me stop.”

”If you wanna know, then ask.”

“You never asked because you knew I wouldn’t tell you what you wanted to hear.”

“We grew apart, and at this point I’m glad.”

“Find somebody else to kiss your ass.”

“When are you going to stop clawing for something that’s never going to happen?”

“What you’re doing is going to kill you one day.”

“It was easier to believe that the you I knew was dead than deal with the fact that I still have to see you every day.”

“What you’re doing is going to kill you one day.”

Fluff

51. “You’re hair is really soft after you wash it.”

52. “Ssh. Stop fussing. I’m just braiding your hair.”

53. “You smell really nice.”

54. “Would it be all right if I borrowed your sweater? It smells like you.”

55. “I might have slept with your robe when you were gone.”

56. “If you steal the blankets, I am going to put my cold feet on you.”

57. “Here, let’s share the blanket.”

58. “You’re comfy.”

59.“You are very endearing when you are half-asleep.”

60.“But I want to hear you sing.”

61.“Don’t get up - I’ll do it.”

62.“Care to give me a back scratch?”

63.“I think I love you.”

64.“Your bed head is really cute.”

65.“How about a kiss?”

66.“You made this for me?”

67.Aw, you’re blushing.”

68. Uh oh, I know that look. What do you want?”

69. “Let me help you with that.”

70. “I don’t want to forget this moment.”

71.“Are you really flirting with me right now?”

72.“I like the way your hand fits in mine.”

73.“You have something in your hair, umm… Do you want me to get it out?”

74.“It’s nice that your voice was the first thing I heard today.”

75.“This movie is really scary, but you’re into it so I’m trying not to cover my face the whole time, but- WHAT IS THAT?”

76.“Wait, don’t pull away… Not yet.”

77.“Half the time I get too embarrassed to say anything”

78.“No, it’s fine.  I can wait until you’re done talking to them.”

79.“No, like…. It’s just, I can’t believe you’re actually wearing my clothes.”

80.“You’re a big piece of inspiration for this, honestly.”

81.“I’ve been trying to get ready for like an hour and a half, because I know you’re going to look so good and I need to try and match up.”

82.“I wanted to say “I love you” for the first time without stuttering, but that failed.”

83.“My friends get so annoyed by how much I talk about how sometimes.”

84.“No, mom, don’t tell him/her I said that about him/her!”

85.“I can’t get over how a few months ago I wanted to learn your name and now you’re having breakfast with me in my sweater.”

86.“ You are so beautiful — So fucking beautiful. “

87.“And just WHERE do you think you’re putting your hands?”

88.“Wow, you look even better in the daylight.”

89.“I don’t remember ever having this many hickeys. But I don’t mind.”

90.“We could order pizza and just stay like this all day.”

91.“It was always you.”

92.I love you in every possible way.”

93.“I didn’t mean to love you so much.”

94.“Don’t you hurt a single hair on his/her/their head.”

95.“Duck, you idiot!”

96.“Hey. Pal. I’ve got a wand and I’m not afraid to use it.”

97.“Shh, you’re safe. I won’t let you go.”

98.“It’s not a double date. We’re just third and fourth wheeling.”

99.“Look, I know we don’t know each other that well, but I’m still worried about you. No one deserves to be alone.”

100.“I remember practicing how to ask you out in the mirror..”

Sarcasm

101.“Define normal.”

102.“Do I get bonus points if I act like I care?”

103.“Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English.”

104.“Don’t look for any redeeming qualities. I don’t have any.”

105.“It’s amazing how fast the world can go from bad to total shit storm.”

106.“I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass.”

107.“And you wonder why you’re still single.”

108.“Remind me to kill you. Please.”

109.“That’s a little melodramatic, don’t you think?”

110.“She’s crazy. And just when you think you’ve reached the bottom of her craziness, there’s a crazy underground garage.”

111.“She may seem like lollipops and rainbows but I bet behind close doors she’s latex and whips.”

112.“If my day gets any worse, I’m asking hell if they’re having an exchange program.”

113.“Sorry. I don’t speak skank.”

114.“My middle finger salutes you.”

115.“I don’t have enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel.”

116.Somebody’s cranky.” “Somebody needs to shut up.”

117.“Oh darling. Go buy a brain.”

118.“Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

119.“All due respect, but that’s a bunch of crap.”

120.“I am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence behind.”

121.“Excuse me. I have to go make a scene.”

122.“What did I tell you about calling her/him the devil?” “That it’s offensive to the devil?”

123.“I heard that!” “You were supposed to!”

124.“I need therapy after this.”

125.“You didn’t get in trouble for lying. You got in trouble for lying badly.”

126.“I turned out liking you a lot more that I originally planned.”

127.“I think you’re weird.” “I think you’re boring.”

128.“I’m afraid I’ve been thinking…” “A dangerous pastime.”

129.“Wow, there’s a big surprise. I think I’m going to have a heart attack and die from surprise.”

130.“I’m gonna hit you so hard, it’ll make you ancestors dizzy.”

131.“Sarcasm is the body’s natural reaction to stupidity.”

132.“Well, excuse me, psychic wonder!”

133.“Don’t look in her eyes, she might steal your soul.”

134.“She’s hot, but she’s evil.”

135.“Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably.”

136.“I already know that I’m going to hell. At this point it’s really go big or go home.”

137.“I’m not a damsel in distress. I’m a damsel doing damage.”

138.“So stick that in your juice box and suck it.”

139.“Never take life seriously. No one ever comes out alive anyway.”

140.“Sometimes I question my sanity. Occasionally it replies.”

141.“Why should we date?” “Because we are attracted to each other.” “I am attracted to pie, but I do not feel the need to date pie.”

142.“Neither one us is drunk enough for this conversation.”

143.“You’re questioning my methods.” “I’m not questioning it, I’m saying it’s stupid.”

144.“Wow, somebody needs a Happy Meal.”

145.“I didn’t do it!” “Then why are you laughing?” “Because whoever did it is a freaking genius.”

146.“Idiots. I’m surrounded by idiots.”

147.“You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions.

148.“Obviously you have mistaken me for somebody who gives a shit.”

149.“Rule number one: don’t bother sucking up. I already hate you, that’s not going to change.”

150.“You make no sense to me.” “Welcome to my life.”

Drama

151.“Can you stop thinking about yourself for once?”

152.“Can you stop thinking about yourself for once?”

153.“Don’t think I forgot about what you did last time.”

154.“I know you lied to me.”

155.“I’m not even sorry.”

156.“You backstabber!” 157.“I never want to see you again.” 158.“You never mattered to me.”

159.“I knew this was a bad idea.”

160.“Rot in hell.”

161.“It was supposed to be a secret!”

162.“No one loves me.” 163.“He/she/they is/are so petty…” 164.“You made me cry.” 165.“I don’t know who you are anymore.” 166.“How DARE you?!” 167.“I know you’re not talking to me…” 168.“I SAW you with him/her/them!”

169.“Just leave me alone.”

170.“What did you do?!” 171.“I told everyone that I didn’t want to talk but I’m actually dying for attention.”

172. “Just admit that was extra…”

173.“I forgive, but I don’t forget.” 174.“Did you see what he/she/they was/were wearing?” 175.“So what if I had sex with your ex?” 176.“There’s something I have to tell you…” 177.“I can’t do this anymore.” 178.“You weren’t there for me when I needed you the most.” 179.“I never loved you.” 180.“It’s too late.”

181.“Quit ignoring me.”

182. “Don’t you get it? It’s because I love you!”

183.“I love you. I’m sorry.”

184.“I don’t want to be friends.”

185.“Can we please pretend I never said that?”

186.“Friendzoned again.”

187.“You should’ve loved me when you had the chance.”

188.“Fuck you for toying with my emotions like that.”

189.“I was there for you when no one else was!”

190.“Alright – I can tell a ‘no’ when I hear it.”

191.“I’m sorry I acted so creepy.”

192.“Fuck. It’s like what they say – nice guys finish last…”

193.“I’m tired of keeping this secret. Even if you don’t love me back.”

194. “I knew that’d be your answer. That’s why I never told you before.”

195.“When I said I loved you, I meant it.”

196.“Is there any part of you, deep down, that might love me back?”

197.“You were the one that left all those notes for me?”

198.“You’re in a relationship with another person – you know this can’t end well.”

199.“We agreed this was just physical!”

200.“I love you. I know you don’t love me, so don’t say it back.”

[my-faves-said-gay-rights]

Favourite IU Lyrics

To celebrate iu’s 12th anniversary and give her the appreciation she deserves, here are 10 of my favourite lyrics that iu has written (in no particular order):

Note: iu has so many writing credits and so many songs that are strong as a whole that I don’t think I could ever choose my favourite lines from all of them or ever actually make an ordered list of favourite to least favourite. Also keep in mind that these lyrics and songs are open to interpretation so how I describe them may be different to what you think. I’m just doing this for fun so please don’t get mad at me if I don’t include your faves, and hey maybe I’ll make a part 2 someday

1. Bad Day

“I feel someone’s body heat on the empty playground bench

Why is this warmth making me feel even colder?

I bury my face in my scrunched up shoulders

My hands that I hid in my pockets get cold”

Bad day is such a special song to me. It was with this song that I realised there was something special about iu’s writing. I just love the whole metaphor of a cold room being used to describe a bad day. She took a relatable concept and was able to create an extended metaphor out of it that somehow describes the feeling so well, a feeling that some may struggle to put into words. I have mental illnesses and we know that iu has struggled with mental illness too, so this just feels like a very personal song and that just makes it better. You know that she felt these things and poured her heart into this song.

2. Ending Scene

“As much as you were lonely

I really hope you meet someone

Who will love you more than you

I’m sorry that it wasn’t me

It’s not easy to give

Don’t say those words, please

You know those words hurt even more”

I’m usually not big into love or break up songs, but something about this just feels so unique and heartbreaking. It’s not a bitter break up where they hurt each other, the other person is wishing her the best and admitting that they’re not right for each other, but that just makes it worse because they are clearly a good person who cares for her. It’s just so well written and a new perspective and that’s something I really appreciate about iu.

3. Can’t Love You Anymore

“Where are you?

Where are you?

I’m home

I’m in a cab

Are you almost home?

Oh, I’m sorry

For what?

Just, everything

Go home

I left my wallet there

Oh, hey

Never mind

No, what is it?

I don’t think

we’re in love anymore”

How could I not include the iconic back and forth with iu and oh hyuk? This again feels like a unique break up song in that it’s so chill. There’s no big reason for it, they just simply fell out of love and are now unable to be like they were before and are just tired of being together. I think this part shows that so well because not only are the lyrics great but the delivery of them as well. It just sounds great and is fun to sing along to (or at least try to sing long).

4. Eight

“So are you happy now?

Finally happy now are you?

I’m the same

I think I’ve lost it all

Everything comes on it’s own and leaves without a goodbye

At this rate, I don’t want to love anything”

Eight aka song of the year starts off strong and stays that way throughout (thanks partly to yoongi of course). IU has lost two close friends these past couple years, and from the mv it seems clear that the song is talking about her memories with them, as well as being another song that focuses on her age and how she’s growing up. For those reasons these lyrics just really hit hard. IU is such a strong woman and I hope that she is able to create more truly happy memories.

5. Red Queen

“Children obviously but adults too

Even the things that don’t have life

Everything fell in love, fell in love with her

Her heart was that beautiful too

Even when she gazed

At the tiniest, poorest of things

Those passionless, depressing eyes

Used to sparkle so bright"

This is another song with a connection to sulli. IU said that she was inspired to write the song because of a drawing sulli did, and the lyrics seem like they are telling her story of going from being loved to hated by the public, especially as after she passed away iu changed the lyrics at her concert to pay tribute to her. This obviously makes the song more touching now, but there’s even more to appreciate. I really love the structure of the lyrics, how it’s like she’s telling a fun silly story but underneath it’s actually very dark. This is helped even more by the instrumental and vocals, which shouldn’t be surprising because we all know iu is a musical genius. Red queen is easily one of her best songs.

6. Blueming

“I’lltextyouwithoutanyspacesIthinkthisislove

A hundred roses, wanna make them bloom with me?

Let’s color the flowers however we want

So it’s beautiful even when it withers”

It was really really really hard to choose my favourite lyrics because there is so much going on in this song, every single line has something to appreciate. I love when art can take something simple and make it poetic, and that’s what iu does well. The song as a whole is about texting your crush, and she describes this as creating flowers in their chat room, blooming flowers together as their relationship also blooms. It’s simple yet effective. Again I’m not big into love songs but I can appreciate poetry when I see it and damn do I see it. And can we just take a moment to appreciate how cool that texting without spaces line is? In the mv they type out the hangul without any spaces just so we can see that she really did that, wow.

7. Greedyy

“Girls be ambitious, own more, whatever it may be

There are so many things that are such a waste to give to others

Everyone tells you the same line as if promised, be good

If you don’t wanna you don’t have to, don’t have to”

Now we love a good bit of female empowerment. This song is actually by jea and moonbyul, but iu wrote the lyrics (moonbyul wrote her own I think). I think it says a lot that iu wrote a song for another female singer and she decided to make it about ambition and taking what you want. It honestly gives me cindy from the producers vibes. This song is very underappreciated so please check it out!

8. Through The Night

“Just like letters on the sand

Where waves were

I feel you’ll disappear

To a far off place

I miss you again and miss you more”

Through the night actually had to take some time to grow on me, but now it is one of my favourite iu songs ever. I don’t know why but this song often makes me cry, it’s just so full of love and admiration for whoever it’s about and iu’s vocals help put so much emotion into it. I think I cry because I make up scenarios in my head that make it more personal and hurt more, and I think you can do that with a lot of iu’s songs which really helps the listeners experience. I think with the palette album iu really hit something with her writing, it’s so full of emotion and poetic techniques. I’m so happy palette won album of the year and this song won song of the year because they both really deserve it.

9. BBIBBI

“Yellow C A R D

If you cross this line, it’s a violation, beep

Keeping manners stop here, it’s ma ma ma mine

Please keep the la la la line

Hello stuP I D

If you cross that line, I’ll get serious, beep

Stop it, keep the distance

Cause we don’t know know know know

Comma we don’t owe owe owe owe (anything)”

An iconic song. Bbibbi is a song telling the public to stop giving hate to celebrities and to stop invading their privacy, but in true iu fashion she keeps it upbeat and strangely polite. This got iu a lot of attention and I think that proves how good she is at writing. She did something new and empowering while still keeping in line with her image, and people really responded to this. This was another song where it was very hard for me to choose the lyrics. I went with the chorus but I also really love the pre chorus where she is repeating negative comments she receives, I just think that’s really cool.

10. Leon

“My heart used to be quietly asleep

But why did you throw a stone,

making me wanna dance?

Please hide my shaking eyes,

my black sunglasses”

Now maybe it’s just because films are my biggest passion in the world, but I really love this song. This part is sung by park myung-soo (iu still wrote all the lyrics) and is meant to be from leon’s perspective. I really like how iu took full advantage of this song being a boy girl duet because it allowed her to write from both perspectives and have fun with it. Something about it actually reminds me of red queen and I just really enjoy the vibe. I’ve noticed that korean people seem to really like leon the professional and I find that interesting, especially as it’s about the relationship between a 12 year old girl and a grown professional assassin man, but that’s a conversation for another day. As it is, this is a great song that was very successful in korea, and queen iu deserves all the success and praise.

If you somehow read all this, thank you so much and please stream eight!

[kazbrkker]

Chapter 9: A Witness and Witless

Chapter summary: A realisation for Alexis, kindly dished by Captain Price. Meanwhile, danger is the gift that keeps on giving. (3284 words).

Warnings: N/A. 

29 October 2019, 0500 "Alexis" and "Alex" | Codename Aces CIA with SAS and Urzik militia Sakhra, Urzikstan

   Having her forehead split open had its benefit. Okay, maybe that was arguable, but Alexis was mildly grateful that the unbearable stings stirred her awake. It saved from her reliving a gauche situation: sleeping limbs entangled with her best friend, who she almost kissed, again.

They were practically squashed together, her head pillowed against his firm chest. Seeing how paranoid and sharp to his surroundings Alex was, his iron grips were challenging to snake out of it, good thing she had practice.

Here, at 5 am, while others were desperately chasing some sleep, Alexis was too engrossed in her own thoughts. The past 24 hours happened like a flash, and the Wolf was her highlight, making her fidget uncomfortably just at the thought.

You should have fought harder, been stronger, not falter at his baseless threats. Alexis had no one but herself to blame for allowing the Wolf to escape. The guilt her mistake carried fuelled the fire inside her, with revenge as additional gasoline to the mix.

The Chinese had a saying: "for what you do upon me, I'd unleash it ten times worse." Omar Sulaman would regret ever threatening her.

Seeking refuge under a dying tree at the residence's courtyard, she brooded in reflection. At least she figured out an end goal for the Wolf, but the friendship between Alex and her was shaky, at best. Alexis released an exhale of pent-up frustration, fingers weaving her chocolate locks into a braid. So immersed with overthinking, she almost failed to catch Price's approaching footsteps.

"No rest for the wicked, eh?" He arched a concerned brow at her stitches.

Alexis cracked a smile, "'Course." Patting beside her, she gestured for Price to take a seat with her on the patch of dried grass. "Please, don't be a nanny. Just sit down."

"Fantastic. I'm in no mood for that either," Price replied. His face briefly caught silvers of golden rays, accentuating the eye bags and fine lines that revealed just how much Price had aged since their last encounter. Even without the combat vest, his broad shoulders remained permanently slouched.

Alexis smelled smoke before the wisps floated past her. Witnessing how it relaxed Price, she shuts her mouth. "Something wrong?" she guessed, feeling the passing smoke layer her tongue with a woody fragrance, suddenly feeling the need to spit.

"The Butcher... Bastard didn't even spare a kid." Price took another deep inhale.

Alexis sighed, "We'll make him pay."

"Damn right." The price of war was a hefty one. And Alexis idolised John Price for his unwavering tenacity. By far, he was the most unbreakable person she'd ever met.

"So..." Alexis steered the topic, "What cover story did you tell Maddox and Forbes this time?"

Price scoffed lightly, a light-hearted undertone in his words, "Ah, I didn't bother. Bloody bitch about it, is all they do." Though Price, Maddox and Forbes all knew each other, Alexis always questioned what kind of Doomsday loomed over the world for a SAS Captain, Task Force Black's commander and a CIA handler to cross paths. Candidly, it made her excited to know why.

"Something going on between you and Alex?" Price questioned abruptly.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She confidently lied, ignoring the tingling sensation on her lips.

"For your sake, I hope you lie better when you're on the job," he mocked. Did she develop a tell? How did Price always know?

"Ah, it's just a bunch of gossips, don't feed into it."

"It's a reliable source," that piqued her curiosity.

"Kyle," she deadpanned, twisting her body towards Price. "Call MacTavish, I'm gonna skin Kyle alive."

Price hummed, giving her an amused look, "That'd be a waste of talent. So it's true, you two dating?"

She didn't even know the answer herself, so she replied with something safe, "We're friends, always have been." Her gaze averted to the small wildflowers blossoming under the base of the tree she leaned on. Chrysanthemums, its deep red petals swaying gently against the wind currents, almost like a greeting wave. Alexis scratched her head at the timely symbolism.

"Don't get stupid, you know better than most that nothing lasts forever," Price chided with a distant look in his eyes. "That boy looks at you like there isn't a war waging on."

Alexis sighed, twirling the stalks of red chrysanthemum hesitantly, "That's the problem. Wars are happening, it's selfish."

The Captain huffed almost disappointedly, "There's always a war. You see something you want, you best hold onto it before something blows it up."

"Shouldn't you advise me against fraternisation, Captain?" She smiled.

Staggered smokes escaped when Price let out a short laugh, "Whoever tries to boss you around is an idiot. Do I look like one?"

"No, no you're not," she chuckled, always finding wisdom in Price's words. So when he told her the way Alex looked at her wasn't platonic, she believed him. Not like it was unbelievable or anything. The way he tirelessly searched for her in a crowd every few moments—then smile when their gaze meets. With ample practices over the years, she'd successfully ignored how much he burned her insides with a simple look.

Now, maybe she didn't need to.

Alexis was always more of a spy than a soldier—at least, that was what Maddox always said about her. A natural God instinct to read the room, practically able to smell the changes like a bloodhound. Yet she was slow to pick up on the change in their friendship.

Slow, and a little reluctant. Now that she opened the floodgates that she guarded for so long, every possible feeling punched their way to her heart.

She was still in love with Alex. A chilling sensation ran over her spine when she inwardly admitted that. It puzzled her if it was relief or nerves? Either way, it jolted a new kind of excitement in her. Every exhale felt lighter.

"And what about you and Laswell?" Alexis retorted smugly, enjoying the rare stunned expression that slipped onto her mentor's face. "C'mon, give me some credit. The most impressive agent you've ever come across, right? I read your debrief about me from the Caucasus mission."

At his threatening frown, she held up surrendering hands, "Alright, alright! I'm done here."

Price ignored her teases, stubbing out his cigar at the base of the tree. "The Caucasus... That's what, 7 years ago? You just made JSOC back then."

Alexis cackled at the memory, "Back then you didn't have this glorious moustache. Remember when I pulled a knife on Mactavish?"

"Scared the lad shitless. Didn't show it, but sure as well saw it," Price continued, a smirk present on his face.

"I sure as hell felt it. Mactavish's pulse was jumping." Then she paused, realising Price purposely dodged her questions. So she tried again, "Don't avoid my questions, I'm a great matchmaker!"

He shot her a look, "Says the oblivious fool."

"Touche. But still-"

Luckily, Hadir spotted them, sliding open the residence's glass door and jogged up to them. "Oh, Hadir! Thank goodness you're here, Price was about to murder me."

Hadir squinted in confusion. "Ignore her," Price got to his feet and dusted the grass off his camo pants, sending the gleeful agent a hard glare. "Lass hit her head too hard, she's spewing rubbish. Careful, Hadir." He patted Hadir's back and started to head back to the house.

"C'mon mate!" Alexis yelled after him with a butchered English accent. "I said I'm sorry!" She laughed at Price's slightly gapped mouth.

"Did I mention?" His hands steadied against the sliding door, "You're benched!"

With that, Price slid the glass door closed, wearing an amused expression as she yelled pleads after him with no avail. "Petty old fellow."

Hadir sat on Price's previous spot, gracing her with a chocolate bar. Unlike commercial ones, military chocolate hardly tasted edible—for somebody who hated chocolates, it was a torture to sink her teeth into the hard cocoa blocks. "Hadir, you couldn't find anything else?"

"It's chocolate!"

"You think."

His enthusiasm didn't die down as he chowed down his own energy bar, but after a few chews, Hadir promptly stuck out his tongue in disgust, earning a burst of hearty laughter from Alexis, "People eat this?"

"Dumb soldiers do. But the smart ones..." Alexis pulled out a packet of biscuits from the side pocket of her pants, wiggling in front of Hadir. She snatched the cup of hot water from him and dunked the biscuits in, much to his protests. Seconds later, the biscuit softened to a texture that resembled a sponge cake. Alexis urged the wide-eyed Hadir to take a bite.

Hadir was sceptical until he tried it, pleasantly surprised. He praised, "Finally, some food fit for humans!"

"Genius, right?" He nodded in agreement, passing her the cup to share. "And I can see that look in your eyes that you want to ask if I'm okay, so answer your question: I'm fine, although I'm sick of people asking me that. Thinking about tattooing the answer across my forehead, wanna help?"

"Horrible idea... Count me in. But no, not your injuries, here," he pointed at his heart. "You feel bad for letting the Wolf go, I know. It's not your fault, Alena– Alexis," he corrected. "Your names are confusing."

The smirk on her face faltered slightly. Though it quickly returned, Hadir already saw the cracks in her smile. Then she decided not to bother with the facade. "I should have fought harder. I imagine there are people who should be alive right now if not for me."

"Like I said, not your fault. In all my years, you got my sister and me closer than we've ever been to end this war... We've lost many brothers and sisters to get to this point. Between Barkov and the Wolf, I'm not sure which of these dogs are worse." His words had a certain edge in them, reminding her how much this war changed Hadir. "But they are not careless men. Why did the Wolf keep you alive?"

"Said he wanted to watch me suffer," Alexis answered honestly, hesitantly taking another bite of her dessert. "Jokes on him. I'm gonna crush him. We're gonna fucking crush them."

Hadir pulled his legs closer to his chest, returning a small smile when she rested a comforting hand on his knees, "With a big enough stone, right?"

"Damn right."

━━━━━━

Even with the miraculous arrival of a second chance, it doesn't mean Alexis made it easy. Now was the perfect example for his argument.

"Maybe you did hit your head too hard—look in the mirror and tell me if you see a large cut across your forehead, because I might be seeing things." He pinched his nose bridge in distress. Price had tasked the very injured Alexis to sweep houses with Bravo Team, take it easy and all.

Alexis wore a polite smile and calmly said, "Fuck you."

"How eager," he retorted, knowing just the way to irk her.

She threw up her trusty middle finger, "Hard pass."

Really? She thought, playing hard to get is so 2002, Alexis.

"Really?" He moved closer, and except for a hardened face, Alexis did nothing to stop him. Trapped between Alex and a table, she breathily observed the blue flecks in his irises, avoiding his alluring pink lips that was definitely calling to her. "Trouble breathing?"

Alexis swallowed her nerves, "The only trouble I'm having is my lack of personal space."

"Ouch..." His head fell defeatedly on her shoulder, chuckling. "Lexi, honey..." he gilded, eyes boring into her own. She kept still and bit her tongue at the pet name, watching his gaze travel down her face, maybe her lips.

Alex pressed more of his weight against her, "Be a good girl for me. Consider I said please."

Her heart quickened, sparing a quick glance at the wide-open door full of Marines who stood oblivious to their actions, but if they continued standing in this position, it was just a matter of time. "You're adding to the rumours..."

"So everybody thinks we're dating, big deal." He slammed the door shut to prove a point.

Are we? What is this between us?

She tasted the words on the tip of her tongue. Alex's flirting had become painfully obvious that she wasn't the sole player of this game anymore. And instead of addressing it, her wickedness took over—lightly chewing down her lips just to confirm her suspicions again.

A knowing smile slowly builds when he took the bait.

Alex blinked rapidly, retreating instantly. His attempt to clear his throat was pathetic, voice throaty as he said, "You're going with Bravo, no arguments."

"Like hell. The medic cleared me!"

Alex paused thoughtfully, rolling up his sleeves up his forearm. If this was his sly attempt to distract her, it worked. Reasons beyond her, his tattooed arms were incredibly attractive. "Was that before or after you threaten him?"

He didn't... Alexis recalled the easily convinced medic. Sue her for having a way with words. She smiled sweetly, refocusing on packing her combat bag, "You have no proof."

"Tell that to your face," he rolled his eyes. "Babe, come on, there's not enough time for me to tie you to a bed."

She'd admit to almost choking at his unexpected comment. Like a good spy, she hung a scowl at his charming smirk—refusing to play into his trap. Then, she internalised his appearance, styled hair, in the middle of a war. Still so vain. Probably trying to impress her, cute.

"Number one, you're god damn shameless–"

"I call it honesty," he shrugged.

"Outrageous, not to mention scandalous-" she corrected.

Alex huffed, throwing his head back briefly.

"Number two, I'm pretty sure Wade outside there, who was shot in the thigh is still on the mission. Talk about a double standard."

Usually, this danger zone was when Alex would back off. But today, she was convinced he had an intensified case of a stick up his ass. Still, he brazenly took the loaded magazines off her hands. "I'm trying to not treat you any differently from the boys, if that's what you're implying. I just don't want anything else to happen to you, Alexis."

"But I am different, Alex! I'm not the boys," the menace in her voice was hard to miss, a stark juxtaposition to the playfulness, "I don't want to be one of the boys. Read my damn resume, you really think this injury will be the one to do me in?" Her neck craned upwards to meet him, "I'm still standing. I can do this."

Alex finally uncrossed his arms and nodded, "Okay."

She cast a suspicious sideways glance, "That's it?"

Alex hummed– actually hummed this time. Her eyebrows shot heavenward, which amused him. "You expected a few more rounds, didn't you?" At her nod, "I trust you, that's all."

"Huh... Usually, you'd try harder. Say something melodramatic like: No, Alexis! You'll quite possibly die, bleed out to death–"

"Defamatory, I do not sound like that," he insisted upon her dramatic pause and casual dismissal of hands.

Alexis poked accusingly into his chest, "Something's wrong with you." He smirked like he knew something she didn't, and ironically, she did. You're not that slick, Romeo. Two can play this game.

"Funny. Here I thought a master profiler like yourself had better skills."

Part of her questioned if it was a double meaning, but shook it off. Grabbing her stolen magazines from his grasp, "Come on, we have a war to fight."

She wondered if Alex's blood had always run so hot when she reached over to grab his arm, surely she wasn't the only one who felt that. But Alex remained silent and allowed her to push him towards the door. They were about to step out until her satellite phone sounded. The two shared looks of caution at the odd notion, her phone hardly rang. Alex was the designated communication channel, and with Price's arrival, he carried that responsibility.

Unless it was an emergency... She quickly accepted the call. "This is a secured line, identify yourself and how you got this number."

"I have my ways. Good to hear you're still breathing."

Her shoulders relaxed, "Ruddiger. Why wouldn't I– Did something happen?"

"Saint, listen carefully, I don't have much time."  She mumbled a quick apology before kicking him out the room.

"Okay, I'm ready."

"After you left, we got a tip about Valhalla's safe house. It was a scam to draw our attention away from Boucher." Her stomach clenched at the ominous feeling. "He's dead. Someone got to him."

"In the Hostel? That's not possible." The whole point of a Blacksite was that it didn't exist.

"It's true, Saint. I saw his body with my own eyes. We found a tracker—plastic polymer, explains why it didn't show up when we wanded him." He continued when Alexis didn't reply, "This shit gets worse. They got a list... Of everybody who's on the op."

Her heart stopped right then, "No fucking way. Where are you now? And wait, this is high-level intel, how do you-"

"I'm officially CIA, thanks to your glowing recommendation. So technically, I'm also here to say I owe you one. The welcoming committee sucks, they're putting us in safe houses. All except you."

Then Alex burst through the doors, signalling it was time to move, but paused at her ghastly face. She held up a shaky hand, "Well, fuck, mon sauveur, huh? Thanks for the intel, but you do know you just broke protocol?"

From the anxious rubs on her face, Alex knew something was really wrong.

Ruddiger laughed on the other line, "Consider it my gratitude for your olive branch. I gotta go. Stay safe, Saint. You'll never know how far Valhalla can reach."

"I'm in the middle of a war. He'll never find me here," she braved through the unsteadiness in her voice. When the call ended, she remained on the chair, still profoundly dumbstruck. She didn't know which was worse: that someone managed to infiltrate a Level 10 CIA blacksite, spooking Valhalla, or that her name was sitting somewhere on a hit list.

Another question bagged her, was it her real name? A thousand worries crashed down onto her. Why haven't Forbes or Maddox called?

"Hey," Alexis jumped at the touch, instilling more fret in Alex, who kneeled before her chair. "You're shaking. You okay?"

Alexis knew Alex wouldn't stop until he got an answer. Yet she couldn't give it to him, she'd put him in danger.

"Always," she mustered the biggest smile she could. And because of that, Alex saw right through her. But there wasn't time to dig further, they had a war to fight. Besides, for all she knew, she was safe, for now.

If Forbes or Maddox haven't called, it meant she was still safe. She'd focus on that.

When she wordlessly slung her rifle and holstered her guns, there was a heavier feeling bubbling inside her. Alexis didn't have a good omen, but she couldn't pinpoint if her gut was referring to today's war, or the brewing one.

Ah fuck, is there a difference? War is war.

War is war, was her final thought as she got ready to start a day full of tragedies.

Alexis should have listened to her gut.

‧͙⁺˚*·༓

a/n: taking a minute to say thank you to all of you!! i never thought Killer Instinct would receive so much love, but here we are, thank you lovers!!

taglist: @flyboidameron @wanderlustgiant @captain-pikas-world​ (wanna be tagged? lmk!)

[just-random-obsessions]

Funny Moments In Thor The Dark World

Find Thor 1 here

Find Avengers 1 here

This is the second part of me watching all three thor movies and the avengers movie and comparing the humor pre-ragnarok to the humor in the 3rd Thor movie. And, as before, I’m writing this on my computer where the I and U keys don’t work so sorry for any spelling mistakes.

Tag List: @nikkoliferous @fyrecrafted @lokijiro @miskiett @darthxerik @icyxmischief @iamanartichoke @juliabohemian @official-and-unstable-satan @melodylnoelle @just-another-human-2019 @fandomsfanfiction @mentallydatingahotcelebrity @cateyes315 @burningarbiterheart @imnotacreepijustlikeyou @usedtobegoodfriend96 @alexakeyloveloki

Official-and-unstable-satan and fandomsfanfiction weren’t tagged sry

Anyone who wants to be added/removed to the tag list please let me know! and if I missed someone please also let me know. Sorry this post is so long

~ “Hello Mother. Have I made you proud?”

~ “Please don’t make things worse” “Define worse”

~ “I really don’t see what all the fuss is about”

~ “Just like you”

~ *That smile!!!!*

~ “I’ve got this completely under control!” “Is that why everything’s on fire?”

~ *About the Scary MonsterTM: “All yours”

~ *Thor says hi to the Big Scary MonsterTM*

~ “I accept your surrender”

~ “Anyone else?” *All the people simultaneously: NOPE*

~ “Perhaps next time we should START with the big one”

~ *Odin obviously shipping Thor and Jane* (idk I got a kick out of this)

~ *Jane awkwardly avoiding her date*

~ *Date: hi*

~ *Him awkwardly talking about his ex*

~ “And the fact that she kept sleeping with other men” “NO!”

~ *Darcy being mistaken for a waitress*

~ *Darcy mouthing “Cute” to Jane about Richard*

~ *Darcy embarrassing Jane by talking about Thor*

~ “Is there a point to all of this cause there REALLY needs to be a point to all of this”

~ “That’s what I said!”

~ “That’s what I did!”

~ “He’s not interested” “I’m interested” (Am I the only one who feels like his awkwardness was actually kinda cute?)

~ “He’s my intern.” “You have an intern?”

~ *Intern is fucking adorable like Richard*

~ “I have totally mastered driving in London!” *Has not mastered it at all*

~ *Selvig running around Stonehenge naked*

~ *Darcy keeps calling Ian ‘Intern’*

~ *Darcy calls Jane cause she didn’t wanna shout*

~ God I fucking love Darcy she’s so criminally underrated

~ “I am not getting stabbed in the name of science”

~ “It’s okay, we’re Americans!” “Is that supposed to make them like us?”

~ “We’re scientists-well I am” “Thanks”

~ “That doesn’t seem right”

~ “I wanna throw something! Jane give me your shoe!”

~ *Jane ignores Darcy*

~ “Give me your shoe”

~ “Were those the car keys?”

~ *Ian’s face when he realizes he threw the car keys to another planet*

~ *If you have to bury so many people then you’re doing something wrong you hot dumb fuck* (I mean that’s basically what Heimdall said right?)

~ “Typical” *after being left behind while Jane goes to talk to her boyfriend*

~ *Jane! Love of my life and most talented and beautiful person in the world oh how I love yo-SLAP*

~ “As excuses go, its not terrible”

~ “I know” “You do?” “Do what?”

~ *Darcy interrupts the KissTM*

~ “Um I’m pretty sure we are getting arrested”

~ “How’s space?” “Space is fine”

~ “He’s my intern… My intern’s intern”

~ “Holy shit!” (after Jane went up in the Bifrost)

~ *Heimdall calmly dodges the car*

~ “We have to do that again”

~ “Hello”

~ “What’s that?”

~ “It’s a soul forge” *No I’m pretty sure that’s a quantum field generator*

~ *Jane being ready to fight Odin for comparing her to a goat*

~ “You told your dad about me?”

~ “It must be so inconvenient, them asking about me day and night”

~ “Please meet my mother” *Jane shies away from Thor*

~ Loki casually tossing the thingamajig in the air like the cute little shit he is

~ Lord, he’s so damn pretty

~ *Kurse being like: Lol I ain’t touchin’ that boy with a ten foot pole*

~ “It’s as if they resent being in prison”

~ “There’s no pleasing some creatures”

~ *Loki calmly reading a book while all Hel breaks loose*

~ “You have my word that no harm will come to yo-” nvm bitch die

~ *THAT look between Sif and Jane*

~ *Frigga immediately seeing through Odin’s bs lies*

~ *Heimdall: I have defeated the big space ship!! The bigger one behind him: Bitch you thought*

~ “WITCH!!!!” *Now I know who Loki gets his amazing aforementioned smile from*

~ *Selvig using shoes to explain complicated science*

~ *Selvig then using pencils*

~ “Any questions?” “Yeah, can I have my shoe back?”

~ “What’s SHIELD?” “It’s a secret”

~ *Darcy’s cute af face when she sees that Selvig is in the mental hospital*

~ “Are you sure you wouldn’t just rather punch your way out?”

~ *Loki shapeshifting into the guard*

~ “Mmm Brother, you look ravishing”

~ “Costumes a bit much”

~ “So tight!”

~ “I can FEEL the righteousness surging!!”

~ “HEY wanna have a rousing discussion about truth?”

~ “Honor?”

~ “Patriotism?”

~ “GOD BLESS AMERICA!”

~ “At last. A little common sens-”Bitch are you really fucking kidding me? (What do you mean that’s not what he said?)

~ “I thought you liked tricks”

~ “I’m Loki, you may have heard of-” SLAP

~ “That was for New York”

~ “I like her”

~ *Loki gazing lovingly at Jane in the background*

~ “Betray him, and I’ll kill you.” “It’s good to see you too Sif”

~ “If you even think about betraying him-” “You’ll kill me? Evidently there will be a line”

~ “I thought you said you knew how to fly this thing.” “I said how hard can it be?”

~ “Whatever your doing brother I suggest you do it faster.” “Shut up Loki

~ “You must’ve missed something.” “I didn’t, I’m pressing every button on this thing”

~ “Well don’t hit it. Just press it, gently.” “I aM pReSsInG iT gEnTlY AND ITS NOT WORKING!!!”

~ *Thor starts slamming buttons and it starts working*

~ *Volstagg: Oh fighting is much fun- OH SHIT IM FALLING!! HELP!!!*

~ “I think you missed a column.” “Shut up”

~ “Why don’t you let me take over? I’m clearly the best pilot”

~ *Bitch I’m the one who can actually fly*

~ “Oh dear. Is she dead?”

~ *Thor knocks over a column* “Not a word”

~ “Now they’re following us”

~ “Now they’re firing at us”

~ “Yes thank you for the commentary Loki, it’s not at all distracting”

~ “Well done, you just decapitated your grandfather”

~ *Seriously, whoever wrote the escape scene is a genius!!!*

~ *Loki yelling at Thor about how thIs was a bad idea you dumb fuck- wait wtf are you doing AAAAHHHHH!!!!1*

~ “You lied to me. I’m impressed”

~ *That smile again snfnejaihfeqrqrsbdsalxdjewonjfeq*

~ “For Asgard!” YEET

~ “Nothing personal boys!”

~ “If it were easy, everyone would do it”

~ “Are you mad?” “Possibly”

~ “TADAAA”

~ “Oh yeah, my father. Eric Selvig”

~ “And these” “yeah… those”

~ “How did you find me?” “You were naked on television”

~ “I don’t get paid enough. I don’t get paid at all”

~ “What’s happening? Birds? Birds are happening?”

~ “All right are you ready?” “I am”

~ *phone rings* “It’s not me”

~ “Why are there so many shoes in here?”

~ “I’ll just text her”

~ “So who’s Richard?”

~ *Thor hanging his hammer on a coat hanger*

~ “Where are your pants?” “Oh he says it helps him think”

~ “Loki is dead” “Oh thank God!”

~ “Better get my pants”

~ “Do you even know what these things do?” “No” “…Neither do I”

~ “Ooh get the guy with the sword!”

~ “Oops”

~ *Ian’s high-pitched scream*

~ *Does car insurance cover My Car Was Sucked Into Another Planet Due To A Cosmic Event That Only Occurs Once Every 5000 Years or no?*

~ *Thor and Malekith fighting between worlds and poor little Mjolnir trying to keep up*

~ *The two of them against windows*

~ *AAAHHH*

~ *Awww! Look at the cute little Jotunheim monster! He’s so adorable I wanna pet him so much!’

~ *Darcy and Ian kissing after he saved her life*

~ “Darcy?” “Jane!” “Ian?” “Selvig.”

~ “Myuh Myuh!!”

~ *Thor ends up on the subway*

~ *The girl taking 50 photos*

~ *Thor and the woman colliding into eachother*

~ “I’ve come to accept your surrender”

~ *Malekith gets crushed by his own ship. Now that’s some lovely karma right there*

~ *Darcy and Ian go back to kissing*

~ “He kinda committed treason on our way out” oops

~ Jotunheim Puppy chasing birds

Wow I’m so sorry this was so long. But guess what? It’s gonna get even longer. Sorry, again.

So one of the differences between the first and second Thor movies is that Thor 2 has humor in the climax whereas Thor 1 doesn’t. This is because of the differences with who is the villain. In Thor 1, Thor is having to fight his brother. To quote Avengers, they “played together and fought together” for several millennia. Of course there’s not going to be any humor in it cause there shouldn’t be. The climax at the end of the movie isn’t supposed to be some epic battle between the forces of Good TM and Bad TM. It’s supposed to be tragic that he’s having to fight his own brother because Loki lost his mind due to so many factors. The last joke in the film is “You’re an amazon liar brother, always have been” “It’s good to have you back”. There’s nothing else till the end credit scene. That’s because Kenneth Branagh knew that this was supposed to be viewed at as being sad a hopeless, not some awesome upbeat battle.

Thor 2 on the other hand, is exactly that. Thor has known Malekith for.. what? 2 days? Maybe 3? His relationship and dynamic with Malekith is different than with his brother. To Thor, this is just another enemy attacking Asgard. And I’m not sure whether this was intentional or not (because I remember reading somewhere how Allen Taylor had a bitch of a time in the editing process so I think the movie came out different than he intended) but the lack of any personal relationship will Malekith means the film can make really funny jokes and still have it fit with the film. If anything, I might even argue that the humor helped the film to maintain a very nice positive vibe. Idk I can’t think of the right words to explain it but the jokes actually fit the film very well.

However, then we move on to Ragnarok. With Ragnarok, Thor is fighting his sister. While (just like Malekith) he has only known her for two days, that still doesn’t take away the fact that he is having to fight his sibling. And I’m not a film director but if I had the option of approaching this situation and taking it the Thor 1 route or the the Thor 2 route, I’d go with Thor 1. Because it’s actually incredibly tragic that Hela has been driven to insanity like Loki (though ok a different level) due to Odin’s shitty parenting. She is the horrible way she is because Odin made her that way. And that could’ve been an AMAZINGLY complex story with the audience feeling so much sympathy for Hela like we did with Loki in Thor 1, but the narrative just falls flat for two reasons. 1) Taika admitted he didn’t want the film to be emotionally complex so 2) The humor in the climax completely detracts from the seriousness of the situation.

Also, some side notes: Yes, this is edited from the original. I accidentally deleted everything and then had to go back and add everything back in. So I also had to re-tag people too. And I also added a bit more explanation at the end. I meant to do so when I originally posted but it never got done till now. Sry. Also sry that it’s so long

[awkward-bakugou]

Bnha characters as vines

Aoyama

- work it, work it, work it, fierce - "you don't need to wear makeup bskdhensn" I don't have to wipe my ass either but it is a preference of mine - I am a comet not a star - this bitch called me ugly I said bitch where she said under all that makeup BITCH WHERE - y'all ugly - oh girl let me give you a kiss - you look like a burnt garbanzo bean - you are ugly and I am not, I am the princess and you are the thot - I don't sing in the shower, I perform

Mina

- right in front of my salad - am I a womfn - I'm bringing awesome back - welcome to bath and body works - I'm a chicken nugget - I'm renata bliss and I'm your freestyle dance teacher - sitting on the toilet and I had to make a doody when the doody hit the water the water hit my booty do do do do

Tsuyu

- Kermit singing usher

Iida

- no kevin, it's about nutmeg - look at this graph - I'm not really interested in being like the cool kids - that is not correct because according to the encyclopedia of spsjwlahdbrj - there's only one race, the human race WhAt AbOuT nAsCaR

Uraraka

- I just have these freezable fruit shapes - are they helium balloons

Ojiro

- defense against a guy in a chair

Kaminari

- catch me on cbs - that's not how you eat a banana - it's me, the cheese bandit - I can't tie my shoes but I can fuck your bitch - what the fuck is a chonce - vitamin c is spanish for vitamin yes - what's wrong with sticky nut juice - I'm just cooking pizza - dean stop you look like a nazi - haha hey, it's ya boi, uh, skinny penis - yes, she is a bitch, B-I-C-T-H - jokes on you, the jonas brothers can't break up they're bROTHERS - road work ahead? uh yeah, I sure hope it does - name a yellow fruit... orange - perhaps suck my ass can be our always - it's fuck yeah friday

Kirishima

- baloney fudge and mustard - attention shoppers, my dick is hard - siri what's my name - back at it again at krispy kreme

Koda

- is that a real dog

Sato

- I dropped my hot pocket - would anyone like some stew

Jirou

- we can clearly see that somebody got me fucked up - she just favorited one of my tweets - courtney there's no candy in there

Sero

- screw you jake - put your middle fingers up if you don't give a fuck - I don't feel like driving anymore - sorry it's my mom I have to take this - say colorado I'M A GIRAFFE - ask me what kind of tree I have

Tokoyami

- look, it's freaking bats, I love halloween - billy, your grandma's here

Todoroki

-everybody gets tired but specifically today I'm just tired of you - hey buddy, your grades are slipping, what's up with that - and just remember that no one can hate you more than you already hate yourself - release all of the sounds that are trapped in your mind - you're in time out, get on top of the fridge - we all die you either kill yourself or get killed - can I please get a waffle

Hagakure

- that one vine where the girl keeps getting pushed over cause no one fucking sees her - I think I know more about american girl dolls than you do genius

Bakugou

- like a good neighbor all state is there - I wanna fight kindergarteners - bitch gon step on my fucking toe bitch with the fucking cowgirl fucking boots bitch disgusting - kevin watch the light dude - you remember that one time I liked you - kitchen gun - fuck ya chicken strips - next time you fucking put your hands on me imma fucking rip your face off bitch - so no head? - yogurt is just fruit sperm and I'm not gay - bitch you better stop - give me yo fucking money

Midoriya

- have you ever had a dream so... that you, um... you'd... you... - excuse my potty mouth - you goof gary, you did it again - hey, I think you're really cool, I like you a lot, maybe we can hang out or something - some may call it stange, some may call it ugly, I don't really care cause I got a hat made of broccoli - there's a mushroom on your shirt

Mineta

- today we're doing a product review on the new gameboy - guess what, the girls still want me - I'm allergic to my own goddamn dick - all these ghosts and I still can't find a boo - if I had a penny for every time I wasn't cool, I'd have no pennies - oh hi thanks for checking in I'm still a piece of garbage - on all levels except physical, I am a wolf - hey you, yes you, I want to fuck your ass - the world is burning, let's masturbate - my name's trevor, what's yours

Momo

- slow down, grab you bible, pray like you're tryna make a soul revival, praise the lord

Monoma

- you're all going to hell, goodbye - when the barber accidentally gives you a bowl cut, what're you gonna do? I'm gonna kill the barber - i love you too you little betch - fuck off janet, I'm not going to your fucking baby shower - my main goal is to blow up and then act like i don't know nobody - rachel is so annoying - let's mcfreaking lose it - have you ever heard the sound of a rubber ball breaking a window - hey pal did you just roll in from stupid town

Shinsou

- hey, how you doing well I'm doing just fine I lied in dying inside - the stress relief cream vine - I don't need friends they disappoint me - hi, I'm attorney doug, have you or a loved one been injured in an accident? sucks to be you I guess - the nothing matters stuffed rabbit vine - I made a hat that's powered by sadness - is the wendy's alright

Amajiki

- well it's been a good day, can't wait for tomorrow - my name's derrik, let me guess, pizza

Present Mic

- bruno mars screaming voiceover vine - SKITTLESSSSSSS - good credit bad credit no credit no problem, if you dead fuck it ghost credit - this video is sponsored by vaprino anti diarrhea medicine, is your poopy too soupy? I think I swallowed a nickel... - michael with a b - it is wednesday my dudes

Aizawa

- today, we're watching the liberal propaganda film about an illegal gay muslim, it's called Aladdin - it's vinegar pussy - why don't we just relax and turn on the radio, would you like AM or FM - whoever threw that paper, your mom's a hoe - the best part of waking up is going back to sleep

All Might

- diet coke addiction - hi my name is failure and you're watching my life crumble to pieces

Eri

- oh my god sylvia it's gonna eat you

Camie

- I thought you were bae, turns out you were just fam - sabra gives you all your daily nutrients like zero grams of trans fat and OH MY GOD CHOLESTEROL - how do you not have a cell phone, it's 2015... Harry she's 5 -

Mitsuki

- bitch I hope the fuck you do you'll be a dead son of a bitch I tell you that

Dabi

- because you didn't use neosporin

Shigaraki

- I don't like whiskey it burns my mouth - want penis enlargement pills

Toga

- this is how I enter my house - I don't need no degree to be a clothing hanger

I spent fucking days on this be proud

[bloody-hands-pure-hearts1329]

TMNT IMAGINE: Reader Vampire meets the turtles after being turned.

Imagine you slowly opening your eyes, your head hurt, and your heart is pounding loud in your ears as you sit up. Your gaze is blurry before it finally clears as you blink your eyes a few times. You find yourself in a dark alley beside you lays the contents of a few shopping bags.

Slowly your memories of the night came back to you; you were late out shopping for clothes and wanted to fill up your fridge for this weekend.   Someone spoke to you, than a sudden pain in your neck, red and then nothing more than black clouded your vision.

You felt weak your hands shaking as you tried your best to put all back in the bags before you slowly stood up panting leaning against the wall.

"What happened? Did I pass out?" you asked yourself confused licking your dry lips confused over the metallic taste on your tongue.

Confused you slowly started to walk the bags lot heavier in your hands because of your weak state.

You felt something... thirst. You were so thirsty.

Never had you felt this thirsty...so weak and thirsty.

You keep on walking, suddenly a man grabs you and pressed his knife against your neck pulling you with him back into the shadows pushing you against a wall as he orders you to give him all your money.

In shock you, with mechanical moves, shifted your hand in your handbag and pulled out your purse.

He grabbed it and smirked as he looked through it pulling out all your money, luckily you had left your credit card at home.

Then your legs gave and he catches you.

Leaning against the man you sniff something so sweet on his neck. The man groaned wants to push you back but your arms held him in an iron grip then something takes over. Your body no longer belongs to you as you feel yourself leaning closer to his neck. Feelings your teeth changing before you pierce the neck of the man.

For seconds you see nothing but red and it tasted so sweet. It was so sweet and good, leaving you to only hear the painful screams of the man. Your eyes turn from red to normal your teeth following the same as you let him go he falls back sitting shocked before you. He held his bleeding wound.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU!" he yelled in shock at you but you just stand there looking at the red flowing out of his neck.

Fear appeared in your eyes suddenly you realized what you have done and felt the warm blood staining your clothes. "NO! THAT CANT BE!" you shout pressing yourself against the wall.

"You bit me!" the man shouted angry and got up.

Once again this thirst grew stronger your vision went red again, longer this time as you pounced to still this thirst hearing his heart beats pumping in your ear. After it cleared just as his heart stopped to stay silent. "This...can’t be...no I am sorry...I am sorry!" you whimpered kneeling beside the lifeless man.

His pale eyes widen in horror staring at you, telling you that he suffered while you took away his red life juices.

"I...no this can’t be!" you shook him blind from shock and fear from what had just happened. From what you had done!

Then suddenly there were voices not far from you which made you move as you got up and shouted for help. "I NEED HELP! PLEASE SOMEONE!"

"What happened here Miss" asked one voice sounding concern.

"I - it’s..." you backed away as you saw the big bulky shadows before you.

Why didn’t they show their faces? Something seemed wrong here...

Red light moved over the man.

"I am afraid we are too late he is...hold on a moment what is this? That must be wrong" the voice seemed disturbed.

"What? Donnie you are pale! What happened?" asked a younger sounding male voice.

"There is no blood in his system and she...she is covered in his blood even her teeth!" the one named Donnie told them.

This made you back further away from them. "I am sorry...I didn’t mean to I..."

"What the fuck are you?" growled a deeper voice dangerously you could hear the sound of something metallic flowing only few inches past your cheek, leaving a little cut in it.

"Miss what happened with this man?" asked a fourth voice calm but you could feel the cold undertone in it.

"I didn’t mean to...I swear I...don’t know what is happening to me! It’s weird!" you screamed holding your hands before you to show them you where defenseless.

"I did it but...I didn’t mean to I was so...thirsty and..." you stopped as one of them shouted vampire.

"VAMPIRE! SHE IS A VAMPIRE!" the young voice shouted over and over.

That word just sounded wrong in your ears, this couldn’t be - this was impossible, books, movies yes - but a real live vampire? You? It couldn’t be…

But whatever you are...you weren’t  human anymore.

Red laser lights scanned you as you stood there not knowing what to do.  Then they whispered to each other and you could hear it like they were talking right beside you.

"She is dead, her heart is beating but her body is dead and somehow still alive which is fascinating because she is dead! Her body tempter is too low to be alive. Or she is a new kind of species of superhuman being" one of them said while you listened.

"She is a Vampire guys she sucks blood!" screams the one with the slightly annoying voice.

"Yeah right, Vampire tsk I’ll laugh my ass off she is just some..." he deep low voice stopped.

"Did you want to call her the f word or the m? Whoever she is, she is a danger to other citizen we must take her with us" the fourth decided.

"Ya think it’s a smart idea to bring her home after she just killed a man by sucking out his blood? What if she attacks us or our father?" the deep voice growled like an animal.

They were animals! You could smell them, they were not human!

This scared you and made you slowly back away from them. Then you use the chance to run away from them while they were arguing about what you were and what to do with you.

Running, you keep running as they chased after you. Through the blood you felt faster than them. And you also find out that you can teleport yourself turning to black dust across the street.

But you felt dizzy after it and had to stop to hold your head but to your luck it went fast away so you could make a quick roll to the side to avoid the chain coming down to catch you.

You teleported up on a fire ladder and from there you jumped up on the roof.  There you stand waiting for them to come.

"I don’t want to hurt...you so please let me go!" you begged them.

"I am sorry Miss but we need to make sure you don’t hurt anymore citizen. It’s better if you come with us" a man...no a turtle man landed before you he had a blue mask was clad in a black short with blue belly tie katana's on the back of his shell and Japanese shoes on his two toes feet.  His three fingered hands where held up before him to show you he meant no harm. Some tattoos were decorating the skin on his arms.

"You...are...no! Not more of this!" you refused wanting to run but before you jumped another taller than the other and more muscle packed then the blue one with a red mask and eyes like melted gold with a green glint inside them. He was clad in black gear going over his chest red bandages on his arms one ripped box glove on his right hand, black shorts held by white belt with black stripes. The big brute only had some bandages around his feet.  On his left shoulder was a samurai mask tattoo.

"Not so fast bloodsucker babe" he growled dangerous he was the one with the deep voice.

You tried to go right but another jumped before you orange mask with nunchucks in a sweatshirt around over his black orange Bermuda’s with matching sneakers on his feet... His eyes where as blue as the one with the blue mask only slightly lighter. On his arm was old rat in a kimono with three names under it, Leonardo, Raphael and Donatello.

He was the smallest as you found out as you tried your last opening to freedom left; this one was tall with glasses purple mask and also the slimmest of the team. Her had suspenders, brown military pants and black purple boots on his feet. On his back - shell was a lot stuff looking like machines and around his right wrist was a weird big watch or something.

All of them looked down at you as you stepped back holding on to your arms.

"Who are you?" you asked them before pain hit you as the rising sun started to burn your skin.

"WAAH!" you screamed out trying to shield yourself with your arms. The smart one reacted only seconds after your scream putting a blanket over you.

"We need to get her out of the sun!" the genius told the others while you laid paralyzed by the pain even as arms grabbed you and you were carried down in to the sewer.

Only as the manhole closed the darkness surrounding you healed your wounds and made you sighed in relieve.

It was dark but the darkness became your friend as you realized you saw everything like by daylight.

Interesting.

Your new abilities started to impress and become curious about what else you were able to do.

But now you felt tired you needed sleep after all vampires sleep at day right?

Silently you walked behind them before you knees gave out on you falling forward but the red masked one caught you this time. "Thank you...do you have a name?"

"The name is Raphael but you can call me Raph" he growled at me.

"Leonardo but it’s alright if you call me Leo Miss" the blue told you grabbing your hand to kiss the air over it.

"Donatello but please call me Don or Donnie which ever you like better Miss" the purple masked one told me.

"And I’m the cutie of the team!  Michelangelo and Mikey for the ladies" the orange clad one winked smirking at you making you giggle.

You told them your name feeling less horrible of how kind they were towards you. But still you could see it in their eyes that they didn’t trust you.

Well even you couldn’t trust yourself after all you just killed a man, a bad man who wanted to kill you but it was still a human being.

There were no words to describe how you felt for taking a life. You never thought you would fall this low. But it was not only your fault it was also the fault of the one who made you. Your Master, as you had heard and read it in movies and books.

No Monster - not Master, he made you to this thing he took your life and gave you his curse through his blood now you understand the metallic taste in your mouth. He killed and gave you his blood to make you like him or her.

Your head felt dizzy again to much was happening in one night you needed rest shutting tired your eyes you fell asleep.

"Wake up my child of the night … its time" a voice ripped you out of your peaceful rest.

You opened your glowing red eyes as you sat up looking confused around in the room. Shattering your thoughts that all of this was just a nightmare in seconds as you realized you had never been in a room like this before.

You were sitting on futon bed in a room with stone walls decorated with Japanese drawings a little closet, printed with the face of a beautiful geisha on its door, a Japanese table with papers, pens, and pencils on the left, above you was a shelf formed a U over the bed full with books with Japanese or English words written on their backs.

Voice could be heard through the traditional Japanese paper door. Voices of the four turtles and an older voice, you could smell a rat.

Then suddenly back was the thirst for blood. It made you growl like an animal as it smelled so sweet nearby.

You followed the smell to a vent it had a gutter beside it without thinking you ripped it off the wall and grabbed the rat inside it. It wiggled trying to get away but your teeth pierced the body seconds after, its blood was not as sweet at its promised and it had a bitter after taste.

You growled disgusted throwing the dead animal to the floor.

Tears flowing down your cheeks from your eyes - what had become of you! You wanted revenge! You wanted to kill the bastard who had made you like this! Whoever it was left you like you where and had done nothing…. why in the hell did he have turn you? Why couldn’t he let you die?! This life was horrible drinking blood to survive was disgusting!

You walked to the door and tried to open it but it was blocked.

"NO WAY!" you said angrily as you found out you were locked inside the small room! "Hey let me out… I am thirsty I need some blood you cant keep me here why did you save me if you were just going to leave me here to rot! I am sorry! I didn’t mean to kill that man please...I am...I am...am scared" your voice became weaker as you sunk to your knees.

Your family and friends were all was lost, your life - you could never go back to them now that you where nothing but a blood sucking monstrosity.

The door slowly opened and in came Mikey he looked down at you, a sad small frown on his face and got on one knee to hug you tight to him.

"Please don’t cry we will help you, we promise!" he told you with sad voice which was shaking now. You felt bad for making the youngest cry so you leaned back to wipe away his tears with the hem of your shirt.

He looked down at you as you tried your best to smile just to make him smile again. Finally he cracked a smile that had you smiling back now knowing if anyone was going to help you it was these guys.

@tmntwhat-you-get-is-what-you-see, @thelostandforgottenangel, @rose-in-my-heart, @mountolympusinc, @loreenya

I was inspired by the game vampyr for this imagine hope you like it and let me know if you want a second part to show how you try your best to live your life as immortal from now on^^

[embklitzke]

NaNoWriMo 2018 - Wonderland, Chapter 1

One

The phone rang.

Halfway through shaving, Jason Grey nearly dropped his razor, startled at the sound.  He blinked blankly at his cell, perched on the corner of the bathroom counter, its screen turned toward the Formica countertop.  He wiped one hand on the towel around his waist, reaching for the phone before whoever was on the other end hung up.

Who the hell would call me this early in the morning?

His fingers brushed the corner of the phone and sent it toppling off the edge of the counter.  He lunged for it, the phone still ringing as it flipped end over end and hit the floor with a thwap that suggested finality. The ringing stopped.  Jason cursed, dropping his razor into the sink and crouching down to retrieve the phone.  It buzzed in his hand and he exhaled a sign of relief, flipping it over to glance at who was calling.

Peter.

“Hey Peter,” he said as soon as the phone reached his ear.  “What’s up?”

“I had a seizure,” his brother said.  That was it—no greeting, no preamble, just the words that made Jason’s blood run cold, made his stomach twist back on itself and bile rise in his throat.

“When?”

“This morning.”

“How bad?”  Jason leaned against the counter, heart feeling like lead in his chest.  Peter was calm, too calm.  That was more terrifying than anything else.

“Hit my head,” Peter said.  “Bled a little.  Definitely loss of consciousness.”

The fingers of his free hand curled around the edge of the counter.  It was hard to breathe.  “Then—”

“Yes.”

His stomach dropped and Jason squeezed his eyes shut.  “Then we—”

“No.”

That jarred him.  His eyes snapped open and he stared into the sink, watched the water as it swirled down the drain, carrying whiskers and shaving foam with it.  “You don’t even know what I was going to say.”

“You were going to say we need to delay or cancel the launch and the press conference.”

He wasn’t wrong.  “How did you know?”

“Marissa said the same thing.  It’s not an option, Jason.  You know it—your gut knows it and your heart knows it, too.  It can’t wait.  We launch today.  We have to keep our promises and this was our biggest promise.”  Peter paused and his voice got quiet and for the first time that morning, Jason heard real emotion breaking through his brother’s mask of calm. “This launch is something I want, Jason.  It’s what I’ve always wanted, from the first minute we started dreaming about this.  It’s time and we’ve worked so hard for it.  I need you to make it happen.  Please.”

Jason squeezed his eyes shut again, this time against the sting of threatening tears.  “Okay. Okay.  What do you want me to do?  Is Marissa on board?”

“Barely,” Peter said.  “She fought me on it.”

“What changed her mind?”

“I had to play the Wynter card.”

A weak laugh escaped Jason’s lips.  “Bet she loved that.”

“If she wasn’t terrified, I think she wouldn’t speak to me for a couple weeks.” Peter took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly.  “I told her to use the video we did—the taped dress rehearsal for my remarks.  You’ll make a speech at the live thing at headquarters.  Don’t tell anyone what’s going on with me.  Let them—” he stopped for a moment, then sighed.  “Let them think I’m just the reclusive genius or some shit.  I don’t know.  We’ll figure out a cover story later.”

“This wasn’t supposed to happen,” Jason said quietly.

“No,” Peter agreed.  “No, it wasn’t, but it did and now we just—we just have to figure it out.  And we will.  I promise, we will.”

“Are you going?”

“Already called.  Neurologist is on his way in and once I’m off the phone with you, so will I.”

“Who’s driving you?”

“Brannon.  He’s going to drop me off and join the rest of you.  No muss, no fuss.”

Jason exhaled, reaching to turn off the water.  “I hope it’s nothing.”

“Me too.”  Peter sighed. “But I think we both know that’s a vain hope.”

“Yeah,” Jason whispered.  “But let’s hang onto it anyway.”

“Love you, little brother.”

“Right back at you,” Jason said, scrubbing his hand over his eyes.  “Be careful, okay?  Call me once you know more.”

“I’ll wait until after all the launch events.  I’ll text you when I get to HQ.”

If you get there today at all.  Jason closed his eyes and nodded.  “Okay.”

“Hey.”  Peter’s voice was gentle.  “Listen to me.  You can do this.  You’re the hot one, remember?  Poster-perfect hero and the face of this company.  You can do this.  You’re better at it than I ever could be.”

“That’s because you’re too busy being the brains and beating heart of this thing,” Jason murmured.

“Give Brannon some credit.  He’s at least half the brains here.”

It made him laugh and some of the tension eased from his limbs.  “That’s true.”

He could hear the smile in Peter’s voice.  “I’ll let you finish getting ready.  Try not to worry, huh?  It’ll be okay.”

“Isn’t that supposed to be my line?”

“Nah,” Peter said.  “I’m the big brother.  It’s my job. Knock’em dead, Jason.”

“For you, anything,” Jason said.

His phone beeped as the call disconnected from his brother’s end. Jason gave a shaky sigh, setting his phone aside and lifting his gaze to the mirror.  There was still shaving cream all over his face, face half-shaven.  He closed his eyes again, leaning against the counter.

For you, big brother.  For your dream.

He turned the water back on, rinsed his razor, and got back to it, trying not to think about what they’d initially planned for that afternoon and how every single one of those plans had changed in an instant.

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[finn-got-tall]

prompts // suggestions

send requests to my inbox, [x] no more than four prompts per suggestion, please!

Don’t be afraid to suggest your own prompt! it does not have to be from this list!!!!

i do most any ship. please include ship or parring when you ask.

ALSO if you want to include a plot pleasssee do.

lots of credit to this wonderful person for helping me and giving me ideas and prompts for this list.

“What the fuck, man? Get off of me!”

“I swear to god, I’ll rip your skin off if you touch him/her/them again.”

“Where do you think you’re going?” “Who are you, my mom?”

“Don’t walk away from this!” “From what?” “THIS”

“I never stood a chance, did I.” “You did. Once.”

“You’re one insult away from starting a war.”

“Want to see what kind of trouble we can get into?”

“Oh god, we’re gonna die aren’t we?”

“You think I’m cute when I’m angry? Well, bitch, I’m about to be motherfUCKING GORGEOUS!”

“Make me feel something. Anything.”

“No, listen to me.”

“I don’t know if I can keep going like this.”

“Do you ever stop talking?”

“Everyone has a breaking point.”

“I’m not a fucking brick. I have emotions.”

“Stay here, I’m gonna go get help.”

“Holy shit, that’s a lot of blood.”

“It happened again. It keeps happening again.”

“So what you bitter piece of fuck? I’m nasty, lewd, I swear every third fucking word, and I’m a better person than you. Oh, that burns doesn’t it? That a piece of shit like me is more moral and good and pure than you can ever be?”

“I’m giving you/him/her/them everything I have and It’s not enough. That’s fucking bullshit.”

“Your stretchmarks are fucking awesome. They look like lightning bolts on your ass.”

“Sorry.” “Stop apologizing so much.” “Sorry- fuck!”

“I’ve got you. You’re okay. It’s okay. I’ve got you.”

“Shut up!” “Make me!”

“It was over when you said goodbye.”

“Wanna make out?”

“God, I hate everything about this place.”

“Isn’t it so painfully obvious that I’m in love with you?”

“Words just aren’t working right now.”

“Don’t die.”

“No. I’m not letting you tattoo me.” “But you lost!" 

"Did you steal that?” “Maybe” “Jesus Christ”

“So wait, you did what to me?”

“Too bad you didn’t listen to me when I warned you”

“You don’t know me” “But I want to know you and you won’t let me!" 

"You should’ve loved me when you had the chance”

“Fucking read my lips, I don’t love you so stop talking to me.”

“You’re the whole package, except without THE package.”

“Maybe people would like you more if you didn’t fuck everything up”

“Stop wearing your heart on your sleeve, you look like a desperate slut.”

“I love you” - “Yes, I love me too.”

“You hate rumors, but you’re spreading them? That doesn’t make any sense to me.”

“Do you ever stop feeling sorry for yourself?”

“Okay, stop, you’re beautiful, telling yourself you aren’t is ugly.”

“why are you wearing a dress?” “Because fuck you that's why.”

“STOP SCREAMING!”

“Are you okay?” “Not really, but I'm fine.”

“All that blood looks good on you. It really brings out your eyes.”

“Literally everything about this is illegal.”

“I love when someone insults me. It gives me permission to be a dick.”

“Right now I don’t know if I should kiss you or push you off a bridge.” “Can I pick?”

“You’re a psychopath.” “I prefer creative.”

“I’d tell you to be yourself, but that almost got us killed last time.”

“Good morning, I see the assassins have failed.”

“On a scale of one to ten, how bad do you think it would be if-” “at least a twenty.”

“Tell me I’m going to die. Tell me the sun is going to explode. Tell me the world is ending and there’s nothing I can do about it. Because if I hear it’s going to be okay one more time I will scream.”

“You made your choice, I made mine. Just because you cant live with yours does not mean you should shame me for living with mine.”

“I heard that!” “You were supposed to!”

“Oh my God, you’d struggle to pour water out of a boot with the instructions on the heel.”

“Don’t you have to be a dick somewhere else?” “Not until four.”

“This isn’t a guilt trip; I just want to know if I’m a bother or not.”

“I’m not a thief, I’m just really good at acquiring things that aren’t mine.”

“I didn’t do it.” “Then why are you laughing?” “Because whoever did do it is a fucking genius.”

“I have a plan.” “Is it a good one?” “I have a plan.”

“I’m way too sober for this.”

“Why are your hands purple?” “That’s a very good question.”

“It’s okay, you don’t have to love me.”

“No one can see you cry in the rain.”

“You’re not scared?” “I’ve had worse nightmares about failing AP Chem.”

“You gotta stop doing that.” “What?” “Saying things that make me want to kiss you.”

“What’s our exit strategy?” “Our what?” “Oh God, we’re all gonna die.”

“Children shouldn’t play with guns.” “Who said I was playing?”

“I’ve come to kill you.” “Well, then we’ve got a problem. I didn’t come to die.”

“We can’t be together. Get over me.” “How can I get over someone who’s my whole world.”

“I had a really weird sex dream about you and I don’t know how to feel about it.”

“Do you think they’ll notice we left?”

“On a scale from 1-10, how hard do you want me to hit you?”

“You see the problem is, if I kissed you, I don’t know if I’d be able to stop.”

“I wish I was sorry, but I don’t regret any of it.”

“Hold up- just stop- just- what are you actually doing? It’s 2 AM.”

“Why don’t you care that everyone hates you?” “None of them hate me more than I do.”

“You/He/She/They took everything from me, and now I’ve got nothing to lose. So, yeah, I’d be fucking scared.”

“When was the last time you got a full night of sleep.”

“How did you talk me into this?”

“Trust me, I wish I could stop thinking.”

“I’d kick his ass, but I’d only have mine handed to me.”

“Fuck me gently with a chainsaw, do I look like Mother Teresa”

“Don’t touch me.”

“Are you wearing makeup?”

“You’re a freak.”

“What the hell is that?”

“I’m good, how are you?” “That’s probably the biggest lie I’ve ever heard.”

“What are you afraid of?” “Literally all of this!”

“Wait, why are you crying?”

“I’m gonna cut your dick off and show it to you.”

“I can’t sneak out! Have you met my parents/mother/father?”

“Why are we doing this at 3AM?”

“You frequently appear in my nightmares.”

“I never really understood you.”

“This has got to be the most bullshit thing I have ever done.”

[bet-your-ash]

Cotton Candy Conundrum

Cherry Tree: Chapter Four: Cotton Candy Conundrum ~ 1,000 words masterlist | extras | << chap. 3 | chap. 5 >>

“It has no flavor,” Lilac groaned, taking another piece of Ashley’s bubble gum cotton candy anyway. Ashley rolled her eyes, pushing her car into park and taking the stick out of Lilac’s hand. “Yeah,” she said, “it does.” 

“Oh, please,” Lilac sighed. “Bubble gum’s not even a flavor. Technically, it’s pink. The Gold Medal brand started the whole blue and pink thing, you know, and people kinda just went along with it. So yours is actually pink vanilla, which means it’s not only flavorless, but also named in the most unoriginal fashion possible.”

“Okay, first of all,” Ashley argued, “don’t be hating on vanilla - you’re such a big fan of cookie dough ice cream, which is really just glorified vanilla, so don’t even start. And also, originally named or not, mine’s still better than your puke green atrocity.”

Lilac raised an eyebrow. “Ok, I don’t know what you’ve been eating, but puke is not -” 

“Oh, you get my point,” Ashley interrupted. “Besides - no matter what that mess looks like, it tastes like acidic vomit.” Lilac smiled fondly despite herself and murmured, “You’re too dramatic for your own good.” 

“And you’re too sappy,” Ashley said. “We make a good pair.” 

“True that,” Lilac said back. She began to put her feet up on the dash, but Ashley tsked and swatted her legs away. “Absolutely not,” she said sternly. Lilac sighed, mumbling an apology even though she’d known the reprimand was coming before Ashley had said anything. 

They were parked in the lot of the drive-in movie theater, sitting in Ashley’s graduation gift of a bright red convertible Mini Cooper. Ever since she’d gotten it at the beginning of the summer, it had been her pride and joy. Lilac still had the habit of putting her feet up on the dash whenever she could, since Ashley hadn’t given a rat’s ass about her last car (her mom’s Subaru hand-me-down).

They finished off their cotton candy as Jaws started on the screen, and Ashley immediately ripped open her family sized packet of Sour Skittles. Lilac watched her slide a handful into her palm and then into her mouth with mild disgust as she opened her own share sized bag of M&Ms and gently started eating them one at a time. 

Ashley grinned when she caught Lilac staring and tilted the family size packet of Skittles in Lilac’s direction. “Want one?” she asked smugly, already aware of Lilac’s answer. “Those things taste like battery acid,” Lilac huffed, “and I even like most sour stuff.”

“No, you don’t,” Ashley replied. “You think Lemon Tarts are sour, and they’re straight up sweet!” Lilac rolled her eyes, shaking her head. “If I can manage sour apple cotton candy, I’ve gotta have some say in the matter.” 

“Come on, Li, these aren’t that sour - I’ve seen you eat Toxic Waste!”

“Because they mix the sour flavoring with the candy! They don’t just put a huge blast of sour coating on top of the actual candy,” Lilac insisted. Ashley pursed her lips, agreed despite herself, and ate another handful of Skittles. “M&Ms are boring, Sour Skittles are superior, and you’re wrong. 

Lilac scoffed, shaking her head. “That’s just - not even - M&Ms are not boring.” 

“Yeah, they are!” Ashley exclaimed. “They’re, like, all the same flavor but with different color coatings! What’s the point? Like, why can’t they just make them all brown for chocolate? It’s like they’re intentionally misleading you!” 

“Oh, please,” Lilac replied. “When did a pop of color ever hurt anyone?” 

“When -” Ashley huffed, cutting herself off. “Never mind. That’s not the point. The point is that we’re missing the movie, so shut your cake hole.” Lilac grinned, knowing she’d won, and tried to concentrate on the movie. 

It didn’t really work, though, with Ashley being her overly dramatic self and gasping every time something remotely scary happened. And, Lilac couldn’t help but notice, Ashley was creeping closer and closer with every gruesome shark attack. 

“Jesus,” Ashley muttered at one point. “Whoever made this is, like… a genius. It’s somehow terrifying but… gruesomely intriguing at the same time...” Lilac nodded. “Yeah. He actually regretted it, though, the guy who made the book. He was, like, an ocean activist or something, and apparently, the movie just made everybody fear sharks for no reason.” 

Ashley frowned. “Really? So sharks aren’t actually gonna kill me when we go to the beach tomorrow?” she asked, and Lilac raised an eyebrow. “Well, yeah, no, there are more people killed by cows than sharks a year, but wait - we’re going to the beach tomorrow?” 

“Perhaps,” Ashley said vaguely. “Hey, didn’t your great uncle get -” 

She stopped with a gasp as a sickening crunch echoed through the parking lot. 

“Why did we pick this movie, again?” she whispered when blood tinted water filled the big screen. “Because Connor said you wouldn’t be able to last the whole two hours,” Lilac replied, hiding a smirk. 

Ashley pursed her lips and crossed her arms, feigning nonchalance and leaning away from Lilac, and Lilac immediately regretted answering the way she did. Ashley’s indifference wasn’t quite as impressive as it could have been, because the scene was relatively calm, but the entire facade dropped away when a loud bang sounded throughout the parking lot and Ashley grabbed Lilac’s hand. 

Lilac jolted from the sudden touch, and Ashley blushed. She glanced at Lilac and grinned, squeezing her hand. “Scary,” Ashley said, laughing a bit awkwardly before pulling her hand away. “Yeah,” Lilac whispered.  

Ashley toned down on the dramatics for the rest of the movie, and when the credits rolled, Lilac polished off her M&Ms and glanced over at Ashley, who was smirking at her. “So,” Ashley said lowly, leaning in, “do we have sex now?” 

Lilac paled. She’d fallen asleep. Definitely. This was a dream. An inappropriate one. A very inappropriate dream that she was going to wake up from any minute now. Any second, and she’d wake up, and Ashley would drive them home. 

Another second passed, and she still didn’t wake up. 

“Wha - what?” Lilac stuttered. 

Ashley burst out laughing at Lilac’s scandalized expression and shook her head. “You look like a deer in headlights! Christ, I was joking, Li. Wanna go home or hit the diner for food? I’m kinda hungry…” 

Lilac’s face felt about lit on fire, and she stammered out, “Sure, if - if you want to…” 

“Great!” Ashley chirped. “Let’s go!” 

***

🍒 la fin 🍒

this was fun to write lsdkfjdslf ash is... quite the character!!!! also,,,, cotton candy. anybody have any thoughts? favorite flavors? tell us here! or tell us anything! feedback is always much appreciated :) 

anyway, there’s that! we hope you enjoyed, and we’ll see you Wednesday!

***

<< chap. 3 | chap. 5 >>

[fanfics4all]

Bait

Request: Yes / No I'm hoping requests are still open. My request: Luke Alvez X Reader. Both working for the BAU. They want to use her as bait for the unsub. With 36 "Underestimate me. That'll be fun." and 172. "I will protect you whether you like it or not." @hotchocolateandpillowforts​

Don’t be shy, request things! <3 Have a nice day/night

Luke Alvez x Fem!Reader 

Word count: 1389

Warnings: Getting attacked and that should be it.  

Y/N: Your Name 

Prompt(s): "Underestimate me. That'll be fun.", "I will protect you whether you like it or not."

PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY WORK, I WORK HARD ON MY FICS AND IT’S NOT COOL TO STEAL SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK! 

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Masterlist 

(Not my photo, credit to whoever made it!)

We had another case. The team was in the roundtable room ready to see what was happening to innocent people this time. Garcia came in and handed everyone the ipads and files. 

“Alright my lovely crime fighters, today our unsub is right here in our very city.” She said turing the large screen on. 

“Whoa, this guy clearly hates women…” JJ said as we looked at the photos. 

“Is there anything in common with these women other than the way they look?” Reid asked. 

“Actually according to their friends, they were all at a nightclub, all doing a girl’s night out.” Emily said. 

“So they were in groups?” Matt asked. 

“He must be very charismatic.” Luke pointed out. 

“So, he lures one woman away from her group of friends and convinces her to go back to his place…” I said. 

“What are you thinking?” Tara asked. 

“Well, these women look very similar to me. What if we bait him?” I suggested. 

“No way, it’s too dangerous.” Luke said. 

“We’re not even sure what nightclub he’ll hit next.” Matt said. 

“Well based on where he’s been so far, I believe he’ll be going to the Euphoria club.” Reid said looking at the map. 

“Are you sure?” JJ asked. 

“It’s a 98.6% chance.” Reid answered. 

“It’s worth a shot right?” I asked. 

“It’s dangerous, we’re not seriously considering this are we?” Luke asked. 

“Y/N’s strong, she can handle it.” Rossi said. 

“It’s up to you Emily.” I said. 

“It’s worth a shot.” She said. 

“What if he takes her? Then he has an FBI agent.” Luke said. 

“You and Matt will be there to watch us.” Emily said standing up. 

“Us?” Matt asked. 

“JJ and I will be joining her, he takes these girls from groups.” She said and walked out. 

“Time to get all dolled up.” I smirked at JJ. Everyone was getting ready to go undercover. I was dressed and waiting for JJ and Emily to get ready. I was in a black leather crop top, white skirt, black and gold heels, and a black and gold clutch. I did some gold and black makeup with a wing, and a red lip. 

I walked out of the room and saw Luke dressed in a simple collared shirt and jeans. He looked up at me and his eyes widened a little. 

“Don’t you think that’s a little too showy?” He asked and I shook my head. 

“Jealous?” I asked with a smirk. 

“I don’t like the idea of his hands on you.” He said pulling me close to him by my waist. 

“I thought we were trying to keep us a secret.” I said with a smirk. 

“I don’t care about a secret when your life is in danger.” He said. 

“I’ll be fine with you guys watching over me and I have JJ and Emily too.” I said wrapping my arms around him. 

“I can’t believe you want to risk your life after seeing what he did to those other women.” He said in shock. 

“No offence to those women, but they’re not me.” I said with a smirk. 

“That doesn’t mean you won’t get hurt.” He said. I heard everyone else making their way to us and I pulled away. 

"Underestimate me. That'll be fun." I said with a smirk. The girls walked up to us, along with Matt. 

“Ready to go?” Emily asked and I nodded. 

“Wow, you all look ready, Reid and I will be in the car across the street.” Rossi said with the young genius next to him. 

“And I will be here make sure you all can hear everything that goes on with our Y/N.” Garcia said with a smile. 

“Well, I’m in very good hands.”  I said and we all started walking to the elevators. As soon as everyone turned their backs Luke grabbed my arm and pulled me close to him. 

"I will protect you whether you like it or not." He whispered in my ear. 

“Oh, I know.” I whispered back and we quickly caught up to the others. 

The girls and I were acting like it was nothing more than a girl’s night out. The three of us were dancing and I decided to go to the bar to get a virgin drink. 

“I’ll be right back.” I called over the music. The girls nodded and I went to the bar. I ordered my drink and looked around, trying to look like I wanted to be approached. 

“Hey there, did your friends ditch you or something?” A guy asked sitting next to me. 

“No, I just needed a break from dancing.” I said with a smile. 

“I hope this doesn’t come off as weird or creepy, but I noticed you dancing and you are very good.” He said leaning forward. 

“You noticed me out of all the women here?” I asked, playing his game. 

“Yeah, between you and me, you’re the best looking one here.” He flirted. 

“Really? Because I think you’re the best looking guy here.” I flirted back. I saw Luke was close by and he was not exactly happy with my acting. 

“Oh yeah? Would you care to dance?” He asked, offering me his hand. 

“I’d love to.” I said, taking his hand. He led me to the dance floor and we started dancing. 

“You’re just my type.” He said in my ear and I smirked. 

“Oh yeah?” I asked. 

“Yeah I love girls with Y/H/C.” He answered. 

“Lucky me.” I smirked. 

“How about we go back to my place?” He offered. 

“Sure, just let me go tell my friends.” I said looking to see them at the bar. 

“Meet me at the door.” He said and I nodded. I walked over to the girl. 

“I have to go back with him, if this is our guy we can nail him.” I said. 

“I don’t know Y/N, it could be dangerous.” Emily said. 

“That’s what I’ve been saying.” Luke came through the ear piece. 

“But if I don’t he’ll just end up taking another girl.” I said and she sighed. 

“Fine, we’ll be right behind you. Garcia, I want you tracking her phone.” Emily said. 

“On it!” She answered. 

“Be careful.” Emily said and I nodded. I walked over to the guy and he led me to his car. As we pulled away from the club I noticed everyone walking into the car that Rossi and Reid were in. When we got to his house, it seemed normal, but looks were deceiving. We got inside and he slammed me into the wall next to the door. 

“Sluts like you piss me off. You wouldn’t have looked at me if I didn’t look like this.” He growled with his hands around my neck. 

“You stupid bitches alway want the hot guys, but what about a good guy?” He asked, pissed off. I could feel myself losing air, but I managed to get my arms between his and get his hands off my neck. I shoved him away from me and he glared at me. Before he could charge at me I pulled my gun out of my clutch bag. I pointed it at him and his eyes widened. 

“FBI! Hands up!” Luke shouted as he kicked the door open. 

“Told you I could handle it.” I smirked at him. Matt came in and arrested the guy and we were free to go back and do the paperwork.

Luke and I were the only ones left in the office and we were finishing up the paperwork we had. He looked over at me and sighed. 

“What’s up?” I asked looking up at him. 

“How could you risk your life like that?” He asked. 

“If I didn’t, we would have had another dead girl.” I answered. 

“You are so brave.” He said. 

“That is one of the reasons you fell in love with me, isn’t it?” I asked and he chuckled. 

“It is.” He smiled at me. 

“Come on, let’s get out of here. I want Chinese. I said getting up and he laughed. 

“Right, I’m guessing you wanna watch a movie when we get home too?” He asked. 

“Close, a show.” I smirked and he shook his head. 

“Right, I’ll call in an order on the way.” He said, grabbing his stuff. 

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