#why am i doing so much shit post instead of real drawing...

[chabric]

Yeah if you know you know

[gffa]

I saw your post defending the way Jedi adopt the children/accept them into their culture, and I absolutely loved it! It was so well-informed, and you are right: It is all there in the original content!

I find it very ironic that many people spew these lies about the Jedi when that’s exactly what the Empire did. Iirc, this argument of Jedi being “kidnappers” was actually fueled by Emperor Palpatine and the Empire in their campaign against the Jedi. They wanted to discredit them and make the people turn against them so that they could erase them all more easily. So I find it very ironic that these lies are now being upheld by some people as the truth. (Really, have people forgotten the Empire was created bases on the Nazi’s and their own racist strategies?)

You are not inmune to the Empire’s propaganda.

Please correct me if I’m wrong. I’m not as good at pulling examples and proof from all the SW content as you are.

Hi! Thank you for the very sweet ask! Navigating stuff in fandom like this can be difficult at times, because there has to be room for compassion and tolerance for disagreement, like it's fine if people disagree with my views, I'm not your mom, I'm not telling you want to do or say, especially since this is fiction, these are made up space stories. But there also has to be room to understand that sometimes our commentary on fictional stories are echoes of reflection of real world attitudes--we can't just go around spewing racist, sexist, homophobic commentary and be like, "It's just fiction, you can't get upset!" There's no easy line for any of this, no single hard set in stone rule for when it's truly just fiction and when it's an echo of a real world attitude, especially in Star Wars, which often draws influence from a lot of non-Western sources and traditional Western sources. (My general rule of thumb is: I think it's fair to criticize those things through the influences they have, but if your criticism is then ended with, "So that's why we shouldn't have or acknowledge any Buddhism/Black people/queer people/women in Star Wars!" then fuck right on off with that.) And I also understand a lot of the anti-Jedi attitudes (or at least what I've personally experienced of them) because I've talked a bunch of times about how I started out as pretty Jedi-critical myself! I did the whole, "They had grown stagnant and refused to evolve with the galaxy, so they needed to be wiped out." thing because nobody had framed it explicitly as what it was: a genocide. It wasn't until a friend and I were talking and they mentioned that lens of it that it just sort of crashed down on me, oh, that's literally what it was and genocide is never justifiable. I did the whole, "The Jedi failed Anakin and taught him to repress his emotions." thing as well, because I saw it all over the place in fandom and just automatically folded it into my view, until I went back and actually watched Lucas' movies and Lucas' animation (first six movies + first six seasons of TCW) and read his interviews, which blew me onto my ass when I saw Obi-Wan being supportive of Anakin, when I saw Anakin not listening to the advice he was given, when I saw that Jedi were expressing emotion all over the place, when I saw they were respecting other Force traditions in the galaxy. I can't speak to why so many people think badly of the Jedi, there's probably a thousand reasons and I'm only vaguely aware of like half of them, but I do think that it's often unpopular to promote the idea of emotional regulation already being achieved, instead of something to be struggled with. I think we're all primed by a lot of mainstream media saying that an explosion of anger is what will save the day. I think there's so much anger in the world today that we're all angry and being told to let go of it feels really insulting at times. (But, as someone who has lost years of my life when I was younger to anger, I gotta say, I am so much better off having let go of as much of that shit as I can. It was poison in my veins, carrying that anger around. I lost so many friendships and opportunities and just time to being miserably mad about stuff.)

I'm getting off topic of the kidnapping aspect about the Jedi, but a lot of it starts to swirl together in what I've experienced (especially people who try to put this stuff on my posts--thankfully, that's died down/I block the people who won't respect boundaries) and so I kind of bounce from one aspect of it to another.

I do think it's good to talk about these things--both from "it's fun to analyze the content of the story on a meta level" perspective and "here's how this echoes into and from the real world" perspective, like I enjoy saying, okay, here's what's actually said in the movies/TCW, but also I think talking about how the Jedi are Buddhist influenced is important because that means they're going to have values that are meant to be reflected in that and Western fandom has a really big problem of being derisive about non-Western influences or automatically saying they're wrong. (I come from anime/manga fandoms, let me tell you, it's a big problem.)

And, yeah, in a way where it's really awful, but I think one of the most well-done things Disney's Star Wars has done is that it's really focused on showing that the Empire was a fascist one and the propaganda they used about the Jedi are ones that are super relevant to the conversation.

[idontplaytrack]

Hello, I've been reading your fics since I found them recently and I love your writing sm!! I've been wanting to request some smut for AJ Campos, maybe with a strap, possibly during that track race where instead of Paige, AJ is rooming with reader instead at the hotel

Watch You Sleep

AJ Campos x fem!reader

Warnings: MDNI, smut. Oral, fingering, toy use, pet names. Coarse language, drinking

In which reader’s had a lack of sleep lately and when finally alone with her in a room at an away meet, AJ gets creative

“Are you nervous?” AJ asks you quietly, a hand on your thigh.

“Coach says I’d better perform better today otherwise we can say goodbye to placing. How’d Paige get better than me?” You were looking out the window while the bus was driving to the destination.

“Excuse me?” She turned around, startling you.

“I was just saying how you’ve become better than I am at track. Maybe I should quit.”

“What? Ay, no, no, no.” Dylan chimed in, “You love track.”

“Things change, Dylan.” You exhaled harshly.

“Oh.” Paige’s face fell.

“Yeah, oh.” You snapped, “I haven’t been able to sleep in over a week. I cannot wait for this to be over. I’ve got other things to worry about.”

“Like what?”

“Are we not in the same classes, Evans? We have two essays due in two weeks.”

You wished Paige wasn’t sitting so close by…just a couple days ago, she asked AJ out right in front of you.

AJ looked at you, concerned. “Okay, you guys.” AJ shooed them away, “Return to your own conversation.”

For the rest of the drive, you laid your head on AJ’s shoulder while eating the bag of gummy bears that you brought along. And all throughout the ride, you kept feeling eyes on you. And not from AJ- Paige. You looked away, staring out the window now.

“Girl, what the fuck are you doing? Stop being creepy.” Dylan huffed.

Once at the hotel, all the students started pairing up with their roommates according to Coach Murray’s list and went to their rooms. And you? You were supposed to be with Gabi but AJ asked to swap. “Thanks, Gabs.”

“No worries.” Gabi smiled.

AJ quickly takes you into the room, shutting and locking the door behind yourselves, “Are we going to the party?”

“Yes.” AJ decided, “They would definitely play a drinking game and it would be a great way to make it clear to Paige that I’m not interested,”

“Isn’t it random? Like, don’t they just draw phones out of a pile or something?”

“I was thinking more like we…get tipsy and just kiss in front of her.” AJ chuckles. You snorted, “Please. Knowing how fucking gutsy she is, she might actually shove me to the ground. Then, she’d kiss you.”

“There’ll be witnesses.” AJ points out.

“Yeah, a bunch of drunk teens staying up past lights out is real reliable.” You laughed.

“Then we should just…post something? Announce we’re together?” AJ stifles a laugh.

You shrug, “I dunno.”

“We don’t have to go to that party, you know?” She says, “I would honestly much rather just spend some time alone with you.”

“Oh, yeah? And do what?” You ask. “Never mind, we’ll go to their ‘party’ first. You’re right- it’s the perfect place to let her know. There are other students around- so if she pulls any crazy shit? Witnesses.”

After unpacking, you and AJ decided to head out for dinner at the diner down the block. “God, I’m so tired. Why is she everywhere?”

“Tired, tired or because-” AJ says, but you cut her off.

“Both.” You deadpan. “Let’s go somewhere else.”

“Okay.” She shrugged, the two of you went further down the block to a pizza place. But not before Paige saw you and AJ leaving- the girl did not look happy.

————

Later that night, you and AJ were in Stacey’s room to party with the rest of the team. “Oh, good. You guys are here!” Stacey gasped, “Come in, come in.”

The kicked the night right off with ‘seven minutes in the hotel bathroom’. The rounds went by rapidly and you weren’t even just a little bit hopeful that you and AJ’s phones would get drawn out of the pillow case for a round together. “y/n, you’re up.” Dylan showed your phone to the group. You looked at him then at Paige who was beside him. “Aaaand, AJ, this is your phone, right? Oh, yup. That’s y/n’s face right there. You’re up- chop chop.” The group started chattering about how surprised they were that AJ had been seeing someone all this time. Contented, you grabbed AJ’s hand, stood up and got shoved into the bathroom by Dylan and Stacey. “Timer starts once the door closes!” Dylan exclaimed.

“Did you see that look on her face?” AJ laughs, grabbing your face to kiss you.

You nod, “Oh, we’re doing that here?” You broke away from the kiss briefly.

“Of course- we’re gonna really give them a show.” AJ grins.

“Oh, hell no.” You gasped, “I am not going to purposely-” And just like that, your train of thought was gone as she kisses you even deeper, her lips trailing down your jaw and to your neck which easily draws out a moan. AJ chuckles, her breath tickles your neck making you squirm.

“To be fair she’s been purposely being a little bitch to you.” AJ raised a brow, “I doubt she couldn’t tell we have something going on at least.”

“Oh, just shut up and kiss me.” You exhaled, your hands began roaming her back, but she lifts you up to sit on the countertop. Without even taking your shorts off, she pushes the fabric of it, and your underwear aside, “Do you feel ready?”

“What?” You asked, confused for a second, “Yeah. Sure.”

AJ dips a finger into your folds, gliding it up and down, proving your point, “Of course you are.” Pushing it easily into your entrance, she quickly gains a momentum, not wanting to waste a single second of this quote-unquote ‘mandated’ make-out time. She grins, licking her lips as she watches your face contort, “Baby, you’re acting like I don’t eat you out every other night.” That smirk on your face made you feel you didn’t know what to do with yourself, feeling a strangled yelp in your throat.

“Now you get shy?” She caresses your cheek with her free hand, her fingers ram into you to force a moan out of your mouth. Successfully.

“Fuck!” You whispered-shouted into her ear, “Fuck you. Oh, God.”

“Feisty.” She bit down on your neck, and you whimpered. AJ removes her fingers from you and started to kiss your face again.

“Time’s up! Get outta there.” Stacey knocks.

“You wanna go back?” AJ asks, tucking some hair behind your ear.

“Definitely.” You gave her one last kiss before straightening yourself up quickly then swung the door open.

“We’re gonna- go.” AJ stood behind you, a hand on your shoulder. “Message received. Good night- maybe you can finally get some sleep, y/n.” Dylan commented, earning a smack from his girlfriend. “Well, it’s true- she’s barely been sleeping lately.” Dylan reasoned.

“Good night, guys.” Stacey waved.

————

“Give me a minute- I just gotta get some from my bag.” She tells you while you plopped down on the bed. “Okay.” You responded while lying down. “They’re right- you haven’t been getting any good sleep recently.” AJ spoke up. “Yeah, well? I’ve been too stressed about performing well at the meet tomorrow.”

“It’s at 2pm- so we have plenty of time to get you some sleep.” She says, “Also- this might help.”

“What- oh, jesus fucking christ. How did you get that damn thing- okay, you know what? I’m not even gonna ask.” You eyes widened in shock when you turned onto your side and saw AJ putting on that harness.

“Thought you might need more to actually tire you out. And you’d probably wake up refreshed if you get some uninterrupted sleep- so you could actually perform better than Paige does.” She shrugs nonchalantly- as if she wasn’t going to impale you in the matter of minutes. “Think you can help yourself onto it?”

Her question snaps you out of your trance, “Okay.”

She chuckles, “If you say so.” AJ then laid down, waiting for you to straddle her. “Face me, okay?” You didn’t say anything else but just followed her order, legs bracketing either side of her as you knelt and positioned yourself to ease that shaft inside. AJ reflexively grabs your hips, giving you the support. “You okay, baby?” She watches you closely to make sure you weren’t in pain. You’d gotten yourself about halfway in, but you decided to get a rhythm going in order to make the rest of it easier.

“Baby?” She asks again.

“I’m okay, AJ.” You confirmed, biting your lower lip as you got used to the stretch. Watching her bare body, as she does yours, you felt yourself slipping further in by the minute. And with her words of encouragement, and a little push, you took the whole length. It was now poking you in the g-spot every time you came back down, making the moans fly out from your mouth every time.

“So pretty.” Her hands trailed upwards, kneading your breasts after unclipping your bra and tossing it aside, “You’re so pretty, my girl. Come on, give me a kiss, baby.” You leaned down, crashing her lips onto yours, content to be like this for awhile. She instinctively cups your cheeks with both hands, stroking them with her thumb. The kisses progress got heated, aiding in your little task of riding the strap. She was loving watching you and seeing your tits move along with your actions. That grin on her face? She was more than satisfied with your ability to take it. She pushes you off of her, you whine not liking the sudden emptiness. “Lay down, baby.” She pushes you down gently, her hands massaging your thighs. You complied, soon feeling her teasing you with the tip of the shaft. You squirmed, unable to keep your mouth shut. So she does- AJ crawled up to attack you with kisses, trailing down from your face all the way to your core. But of course, the lower she went, the louder you became. “You know I love hearing you, baby. Don’t hold back.” She says, her breath fanning against the juncture between your legs. “The walls are so thin.” You grumbled, “Do you not hear that?”

“So what? This whole level’s our team.” AJ shrugs, “Oh, my God- is that coach-”

“Don’t put that image in my head.” You interjected, laughing, “AJ, please.” Your hands grabbed her hair, pushing her closer to you.

“M’kay.” She grins, her tongue begins to circle your clit slowly. It made you seethe, trying to swallow the whine that was threatening to fall from your lips. “I want to hear you, babe. It’s alright.” She coos, barely breaking away long enough to speak.

You back arched more and more by the minute, and naturally, the faster she flicked her tongue, the more of a mess you were. And finally, the coil in your core started tightening, taking the place of the fluttering sensation. AJ asks if you were close, and you hadn’t even said a thing since many minutes ago- but instead your endless, whines, whimpers and moans have filled the room making AJ more eager to push you over the edge.

You could definitely feel yourself getting closer to the high, your hands clutching at the sheets beneath you. “My God. I’m so close.” You told her in a strained voice. She licks your clit one time before pulling away, much to your annoyance. “I got you, honey.” AJ grins, licking her lips to taste you, “Keep your legs open, we’re nowhere near done.”

You whined needily, feeling the ache and pulsing of your apex becoming increasingly unbearable by the second as she deprived you of the contact and stimulation- to the point where you were about to burst into tears because it was becoming too much to bear. As AJ pushes into you, she held her forearm under both your knees to keep your legs in place. And every single time she pounded into you, a sharp moan attacked her eardrums, sending shocks down her spine. “Keep going, keep going…fuck!” Your breath hitches as she retracts and pushes into you the hardest she’s had that night. Her pace became merciless as you felt the wetness dripping down you, the obscene sound from between your legs made you dizzy as did the pleasure from her fucking you with the strap. Her forearm moves away, she tells you to keep your legs in place. And, she looks right into your eyes as she continues to impale you repeatedly while profanities and high-pitched moans spewed from your mouth in an unending string. “Ah- ah! Fuck.” You cursed. AJ grins, watching you with pride as you looked back at her with hooded eyes that soon rolled to the back of your head. AJ kept going and going, watching your face at first. Then your body started trembling so she reflexively slowed down. “Oh, my God.” You cried, “Holy shit, oh my God. AJ, fuck. That feels so good, babe. Oh-”She was now holding onto one leg as she went at a languish pace to help you ride through your high. The pleasure slowly turned into a slight ache as overstimulation took over. You told her to stop and she pulls out, admiring the aftermath in the process.

She removes the harness and abandoned it. You hear it fall to the floor with a thud before she crawls into bed with you. “Hi, baby.” She cups your cheek, kissing you on the nose, “Do you feel okay?” You nodded silently, laying your head on her chest as her embrace tightens. “I wasn’t too rough, was I?” AJ asks.

“I’m a little sore, but it’ll be okay.” You admit.

AJ nods, “Think you can sleep?” She runs a hand through your hair, pressing yet another kiss onto your face.

“Mhm.” You snuggled closer, allowing her heartbeat and her warmth to lull you to sleep.

“Good night, my love.” AJ exhales softly, watching your sleepy figure in her arms, “Sweet dreams.”

[bullet-prooflove]

Welcome to Nightvale: Sean Archer X Reader

Tagging: @kmc1989 @to-grow-in-and-to-love @mandy426 @icefrye19 @toasted-stiletto 

Sean’s relationship with you starts because of a book.

You’re in front of him in the queue at the café in Med when it slips out of your bag and hits the tiled floor, the pages fluttering open, revealing an array of multi-coloured post its. You’re too busy ordering too notice. It’s when he raises to his feet after picking it up that he comes face to face with you.

You’re pretty, so pretty that Sean doesn’t expect it. His mouth goes dry for a second before he holds up your book.

“You dropped this.” He says shyly as he hands it back to you.

“Thank you.” You say as you take it from him and place it back into your bag. “I’m reading it for my book club.”

“Welcome to Nightvale huh?” He says as he tucks his hands into the back pockets of his jeans. “I’ve heard the podcast but I’ve never read the book.”

“The podcast is much better than the book.” You tell him as you wrap your hand around your takeout coffee cup and raise it to your mouth. “I can lend it to you if you want? Maybe we can talk about it afterwards.”

His cheeks colour as a smile breaks across his features.

“I’d like that.” He tells you as he gives his own order to the server behind the counter. “They have a live show coming up in June. I’m on the fence about going, I’m not sure how it’ll translate in the real world.”

“I’ve been thinking about it too.” You say as he waits for his coffee. “A lot of podcasts are doing it now, I kind of feel it’ll be like online dating, great in theory, disappointing in real life.”

He laughs then because yea, that’s kind of true. He doesn’t do apps but he’s heard the horror stories from the guys he lives with.

“Online datings not really my thing.” He confesses as he picks up his coffee and gestures towards a table. He expects you to make an excuse, a reason to leave but instead you slip into the offered seat and he finds himself sitting down across from you. “I’m not sure what you can learn about someone from an online profile. They don’t really give you the whole picture.”

“Or they send you the ‘whole picture’ once you’ve connected.” You joke and he blushes when he catches your meaning.

“Unsolicited dick pics are not my thing.” He tells you, shaking his head. “I wouldn’t even know how to get the right angle. There has to be an art to it right?”

You laugh then and it really is the loveliest sound.

“What is your thing?” You ask him and Sean shrugs his shoulders.

“Honestly I’m trying to figure that out.” He tells you, his gaze lowering to his drink as his thumb chases over the ridged cardboard. “I’m taking some time, trying to learn who I am.”

“Can I tell you a secret?” You ask him, your elbows coming to rest upon the surface of the table.

“Sure.” Sean says as he leans in close and the scent of your perfume floods his senses. It’s airy and light, like the first breath of spring on his skin.

“I know this looks all put together but I’m still trying to figure my shit out.” You says gesturing at yourself. “Truthfully I feel like we’re just all a work in progress.”

It’s the kindest, most insightful thing that anyone has ever said to him.

“Come out with me.” He says softly, his eyes meeting yours. “We can go see that show, bitch about it afterwards.”

You pause for a moment and he realises he’s been too bold, too forward. He draws away, but your hand captures his, thumb skating over the hollow of his wrist.

“I’d like that.” You tell him, the edges of your mouth tipping up into a smile. “Really I would.”

Love Sean? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[phoenixonwheels]

The ~discourse~ around the term cripple punk is so wild to me bcs from what I've seen the people arguing that it includes mental illnesses/disabilities are mentally ill people who are ALSO physically disabled explaining from experience that not only are mental illnesses oftentimes disabling in exactly the same way physical disabilities are, but that trying to draw a hard line between "physical" and "mental" conditions is reductive and unhelpful in terms of actually accommodating us and understanding our conditions, especially given that both have so much overlap that it's hard to distinguish what's coming from where in the first place. Like when I'm having a bad enough depressive episode I feel real, physical pain in my chest that's so bad I can hardly stand up, and the accommodations that help me when my hEDS or POTs is making it hard to stand help when it's the depression instead. And yet I'm supposed to believe these two things are completely different, 100% of the time, no exceptions?? Plus like, idk every time I see people argue that mental conditions are somehow different from physical ones it just reminds me of how often doctors will brush aside the physical symptoms of my mental illnesses bcs they're "all in my head" despite how much I'm clearly suffering. For me so much of learning to live with stuff like my bipolar and adhd is unlearning the idea that my brain is like, a separate entity from my body, and accepting that the physical stuff I'm feeling shouldn't be dismissed just bcs it's caused by my brain and not like, my POTs or hEDS. For so often I've seen positivity posts talking about how mental conditions do physically affect people and understanding and accepting that is important, it's wild to see a group that should be on top of that sort of thing fumble it so badly.

And god, so much of the world is already against disabled people, getting mad that the "wrong" disabled people are using the term cripple punk while society does everything in its power to make life impossible for us feels like we're just doing their work for them. We should stand united in our very much shared struggle instead of desperately trying to shove everyone in separate boxes and make sure they stay there, insisting that we have nothing in common and could never share a community. We have everything in common and we need to stand together, now more than ever.

All of this! And also it’s clearly never occurred to them that a huge percentage of the medical gaslighting we’ve all experienced is having doctors blow off our physical disabilities and illnesses by claiming we’re mentally ill. Gee hmm I wonder why that is? Could it be that mental illnesses and disabilities are even more discriminated against than physical illnesses and disabilities? And if we all fight together for respect and rights for people with all types of disabilities and disorders we all benefit?

This shit is absolutely wild to me. And it leads to things like people yelling at me - an actual wheelchair user who is currently mostly bedbound - that I hate cripples and am somehow trying to “steal cripple privilege” and insert myself undeservingly into “cripple spaces” because I refuse to join them in their bigotry against mentally ill and mentally disabled people.

MERDs are to the Cripple Punk and disability rights movements what TERFs are to feminism and the queer rights movement. They’re dragging us back decades.

*MERD: mental-exclusionary radical disabled

[not-goldy]

Tkks once again in group chats accusing Jk of being a shit headed boyfriend to Tae, while ignoring Tae walked hand and hand with Jennie. Where was your sympathy for Jungkook bitch? If JK is dating Tae like you claim. Imagine how Jk felt seeing Tae parading Jennie around in public and throwing his relationship with her around in Jk's face. This is the picture you are painting of TK right? So why does Tae get a pass to shit on Jk's feelings and gets to fuck around with other people, but you draw the line at Jk doing it? Why does Tae get to take vacations with Jennie. To NY, Jeju and Paris, but you draw the line at JK vacationing with Jimin in NY/CT and Japan? You ignore pictures of Tae and Jennie on vacation, Tae in her bed. Pictures and videos Jk had to see by the way, but you wanna raise hell over Jikook taking shirtless pictures on vacations and Jimin posting one for his birthday. That's too much, but Tae in Jennie's bed is okay. You don't actually give a fuck about Jk and you know deep down TK isn't real, you just want a reason to hate on Jimin cause you're jealous lonely fucks. You focus on Tae, but you also want him to be a helpless victim being emotionally abused by Jikook, cause you get off on it. You are sick twisted fucked up in the head mental cases who need lots of therapy. I am not joking or being funny. Ignoring Tae has a whole entire girlfriend and still focusing on Jikook. Can you just say out loud, you think Jk loves Jimin more then you think Tae loves Jennie and it threatens you. See with Taennie out of sight, means out of mind and you can relax a bit. Jikook however are in your faces and you are forced to watch Jk in love with Jimin and not your fav.

Don't get pissed off at Jikook cause your favs had to catch up through videocall and Tae didn't even know Jk cut his hair, when y'all said TK would shave them together and enlist together and its not happening, while Jikook been snuggling in each other's beds for months on their private trips and making big future plans together for months behind the scenes and about to take their next journey together, in the military together. You had a chance to be happy for Tae and Jennie. You had a chance to support Tae and support his happiness a relationship that made him so giddy and so happy. You didn't. Instead you chose to lick your tkk leaders chronic lying assholes who has gaslit you and continued to ignore every red flag and ship two men who aren't dating and now you mad cause the walls of truth are caving in on you. Should have got out of your imagination when Tae told you.

Smh

We should put them on an intergalactic slave ship and send them off to another galaxy for aliens to do with them whatever they please 🥺

[cow-legs]

What are some of your favorite videogames? ♡ ♡ ♡

(extremely long post incoming lol turns out i have a lot of things to say on this subject)

usually i have too hard of a time trying to remember anything i like to have answers for questions like these but thankfully for this one i have answers prepared since this is something i try to think about a lot

realistically if i had to pick one single "favorite videogame" above the rest itd probably just, like, ocarina of time & majora's mask (i'm considering them to be one videogame because i said so, it;s a package deal), just on account of how much of an impact they had on me from an early age combined with just how often i Still go back to revisit them in one way or another, but this is just about the most basic boring answer a person can have for this question unfortunately

thankfully you asked for some of my favorites instead of just one so i can unveil my Actual list of favorites instead of the one that only holds the top spot by technicality and not because i actually like it "the most". all of my favorite games have such a range in style and quality it's hard to really compare them in any meaningful way

anyway

crypt worlds, space funeral, and off-peak are all pretty different games made by very different people but i usually group them together when talking about stuff like this since collectively finding them all back in the day at roughly the same time kind of shaped my perception of indie games as a whole which probably gave me a very weird and skewed perception of the media but who gives a shit really it's a perception i hold dear. (they weren't the first indie games i ever saw of course but they were the most personally impactful ones that made me go "holy shit, this is awesome, you can do literally whatever you want")

they've pretty heavily influenced my own games, too. there have been multiple times i've started a project and then days later realized "wait shit this is just space funeral again. i'm just making space funeral again but slightly to the left. fuuuck" which is a pretty good problem to have i think.

anyway,

gadget: invention, travel, and adventure is an old point and click game i found a few years ago that struck me by just how unique feeling its atmosphere is. strange looking people turn to you and say even stranger sounding things, the soundtrack feels like its having a nervous breakdown, the main character is given so few meaningful decisions/actions (read: basically none) by the people around them that it can barely be considered a game at all…it is a very fascinating experience, and one that i think back to a lot

i like Your Turn To Die a lot and am very excited to see how it ends, though i feel like i don't have too much to say on it here. one of those games that has me going "oh man i should draw more fanart for that one of these days" every time i'm reminded of it only to then remember that i Can't Fucking Draw right now lmao

myhouse.wad is something that extremely deserves to go on this list but a large part of my brain is telling me not to just because somewhere along the line i fucked up and became allergic to anything that has ever recently become popular & trendy on youtube because i don't want to look like a poser even though literally no one but me cares about where i hear about these things so i can only bring myself to include it if i also state that i played it BEFORE it was cool &all the streamers started covering it like some kind of shameful hipster. but for real though its awesome, very inspiring stuff. i wish my brain did not force me to want to distance myself from it for literally no good reason. fucking ocarina of time is on this list why is this the thing that makes you afraid of looking like a normie

i have a lot of appreciation for myst in a kind of "i've never played more than 5 minutes of this nor have i even bothered to watch a playthrough of it but i understand what you have done for me and the games i love that came after you" kind of way. i have purchased 3 different copies of it over the years as well as a copy of riven and i don't intend on playing any of them anytime soon. great game, probably. i wouldn't know.

i like a lot of kitty horrorshow's games but i don't really know what my favorite would be. lethargy hill is probably the one i think about most often though.

i like (the steam version of) dwarf fortress a lot and have been trying to play it more often. it is very funny having 80 hours in a game and still not feeling like you understand half the mechanics in it. figuring it out as i go along has been fun though. in a similar vein i also like elden ring a lot and despite being at over 160 hours on that one i still haven't beaten it. i need to get back to it before the dlc comes out but i stopped playing for so long that most of my muscle memory is gone…

for something much more recent than all of the above, absolutely perfect specimen is something really incredible that gave me a lot of stuff to think about, though it can be a little hard to recommend since it's extremely 18+ and has a whole big list of content warnings you definitely need to take heed of. extremely interesting work though, i like it a lot.

i'm running out of things to list off and should probably stop just for the sake of time even if there is more shit that deserves mentioning so i'll just end it off with CLONE ON NET YAROZE BABYYYYYY LET'S FUCKIN GO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 💯💪🙌💥💯💯

[the-bjd-community-confess]

TW: Sexualization of (fictional) minors discussion/CSA mentions

Mod: Batch post 2 to help people avoid the topic if needed.

1. Idc, people who don’t dress and photograph YOSDs like children are creepy af. If you’re dressing your YOSD in lingerie that’s weird as hell and gross.

~Anonymous

2. "child sex sells" what the fuck is wrong with you? shut the fuck up. touch grass. see light. no the hell it does not. can you be fucking normal for five goddamn minutes? god just delete tumblr and get the fuck away from this and all other hobbies you are the worst sort of human being and i hope you get the help you desperately need because you are seeing child abuse in everything and that, i promise you, is a freakass problem to have. why are you like this???

~Anonymous

3. did NOT want to read the vomitous take of "ch*ld s*x sells" on the doll blog today!!!

~Anonymous

4. fandoms full of """child abuse"""

hi mod it's me again, i'm sorry in advance but this fucking topic makes me actually furious and as long as the most sheltered infants on earth continue to submit brain-dead takes on this subject, i'm going to keep showing up in your dms. CW for discussion of actual abuse, hard subjects in general, etc.

(i would put the read more here) [Mod: I hope you don't mind this format instead Anon, this confession deserves its own post but I want to shield readers from the topic if possible with the batchposting 💜]

ok but that's just it, as a fucking csa survivor, most of the "fandoms full of CSA" literally! have none of that! whatsoever! in any capacity! you shitty godforsaken little heathens call sfw romance between two fictional teenagers in a tv show incest-coded, you call grown ass-adults in animated works "child-coded" and justify that as the same as goddamn ABUSE OF REAL LIFE HUMAN BEINGS, and you doxx creators and send them death threats and clog up report lines for real life actual human victims about your fictional bullshit. you are the worst and i want you and anyone who reads this and feels offended by this description to know that you are helping no one and annoying everyone.

do you know what real victims are victimized by? not fiction. not any fiction. not inanimate objects! literally write a story about fictional children being victimized for the plot, and it will not hurt me. if it hurts you, fair! stop reading it. go outside. your Personal Discomfort is not you being abused. learn the fucking difference perhaps! it will not make me... do you have any idea how hard it is to talk about this without getting so extremely goddamn personal? do you have any idea how much it sucks to have to have this discussion over and over and over? do you realize that roughly 10 years ago everyone with a braincell agreed on this point and it's only the last decade that people have been so radicalized to think that wrongthink is real? no, of course not, because most of the people who believe that fiction and reality are 1:1 in how one affects the other have no practical experience with any of the subjects upon which they have the audacity to speak.

listen. i am not going to go into my upbringing. i am not going to tell you what it was like to be raised in a household like mine where actual abuse was genuinely normalized. all i will say is that i was raised in a culture where this sort of abuse was normal and certain types of relationships between adults and minors were considered... sanctioned by the powers that be. are you picking up what i'm laying down? do not talk to me about your good intentions. the fucking argument that fictional content, drawings and toys and all that other inconsequential shit, that it's tantamount to a crime? buddy. bestie! amigo! compadre! that's the same logic that was used to make sure my upbringing was as sheltered and controlled as possible so that the "corrupting influences" of the outside world didn't give us the "wrong ideas". like i truly don't know how you did it but you've reinvented the toxic mindset i grew up hearing! and you are completely blind to it. boggles my fucking brain.

i just want to shake the people who say this shit with a straight face. "wow so violent op maybe you're the toxic one" yeah boy i'm toxic i've been in therapy for most of my life and will continue to be until i am dead. the fucking DRAWING CARTOON PORN IS INDOCTRINATING MINORS WRITING StORIES WHERE BAD THINGS HAPPEN IS THE SAME AS HARMING A REAL HUMAN crowd are just the same religious wrongthink crowd with a more recent birth-year and a rainbow hat. "anyone can say anything online i don't believe you" cool i don't give a shit. how do you want me to prove it, doxxing myself? you wanna see the fucking recordings anon? think before you speak. first time for everything.

i like this hobby. i enjoy my dumb little dolls and their stupid little faces, i enjoy the peace in changing their style and redoing their faceups, i enjoy being able to represent a diversity of appearances, identities, to make everyone queer and slutty because i'm making up for the lost time in my life where that was not on the table for me. i do Not fucking relish seeing the braindead anti arguments creeping into this hobby and shitting up another thing that myself and other survivors would like to enjoy in peace and quiet.

so let me tell you, from the bottom of my heart, even though no one who needs to hear it will bother to listen to the words of a survivor because it goes against your superiority complex against those nasty fiction enjoyers:

shut the fuck up.

sincerely, god, everyone, and especially survivors of CSA and other abuse against minors.

~Anonymous

[loungemermaid]

No.1 Everlark Shipper

for @jhsgf82, based off this post by @goldrushenthusiast and some of the tags/replies I left on there. crossposted to my ao3!!

We’re standing in the disgustingly hot July heat, the sun beating down on us, already burning the tops of our noses. Really, for the sake of all us Townies, the town square should be covered. I’m pale enough, but some of these kids, like little Lottie Sayers over there, are too white to be outside now. She looks like she’s going to burst into flames at any second. I look around at the sea of sweaty necks and brows, looking for a dark braid instead a blonde one. Not for me. For my idiot brother. Everdeen has her hair up in a crown of braids today, and she’s in a pretty little dress, shows off her little waist. The hair and dress make her look sweet, maybe flirty, but she’s (as always) scowling. Can’t imagine why Peeta likes her. She looks fuckin’ mean. Stuck up. Also, the fact she can kill things and drag ‘em through town? Something tells me you’d have to make sure you toed the line with her, or else. Kinda like how Mama is to him. Well maybe that’s it then.

I have heard about Everdeen for comin’ on Eleven Goddamn Years now. I know everything there is to know about this chick that can be known without actually saying a word to her, because he’s never said a word to her. I’ve seen the sketches, the letters, the truly awful attempts at poetry, the (admittedly, pretty good) pencil drawings that took weeks for him to finish scattered across our room for Eleven Years. I’ve heard the soliloquies(see, Mrs. Marks? I’m payin’ attention) practiced in the mirror, the grand planned gestures, the paper flowers and ribbons gathered and then abandoned after Sweetheart’s Day, every instance of young tender love and I could not be more sick of it. It ain’t-isn’t. Isn’t real. Not a lick of it. If it was, he’d talk to her. If she’s too scary, which again, she sure as shit looks that scary, maybe move on? Maybe pick someone different? Hell, it can even be another Seam girl, if that’s what he’s into. Leevy’s got that same little tits and long legs thing. And she actually smiles. But whatever. One day something will break it, and then I won’t have to fuckin’ hear it ever again. 

That weird Trinket woman is just about to pick the girl’s name, and I’m still wondering what it takes to get someone’s hair that big, that pink, that shiny when she reads out the slip. Primrose Everdeen. Well. Shit. I don’t know what this is gonna mean, when her little sister dies. When her dad died, Peeta talked for months about how we needed to help her. I kept telling him it wasn’t the time or place, that the last thing she needed was some over-enthusiastic Townie meddling in her shit. She already had it rough enough. We could tell she was taking care of everyone now. That her mama wasn’t doin shit, and she was the breadwinner now. I remember thinking it was weird, and how I couldn’t imagine it, then I thought about how that’s just what older siblings do. That that’s what Rye does for Peeta and me. A buffer for when Mama’s on the war path. Even when she ain’t-isn’t. Isn’t coming after me, he protects me all the same. She usually doesn’t come after me, and that somehow feels worse. I owe ‘em both a lot of beatings. Rye used to take the blame sometimes, but we all kinda quickly realized I could get away with significantly more than he could, and especially more than Peeta could, poor fucking kid. Never understood why she hates him so much.

There’s some screaming and shuffling, and I look over and there she is, her face showing real emotion for once, screaming that she’s volunteering. I can’t imagine that. How would you ever do that? And then it sinks in. Shit. Everdeen is gonna die. I look over at Peeta, who looks like he’s gonna spew. Shit. What am I even gonna say to him, when this is over? While we walk home?  Happy fucking birthday! That girl you’ve been obsessed with your whole life is gonna get gutted by some teen-freak Career. It’s too awful. I just sigh and brace for the boy’s name. Almost over. One more year of it for me, two for him. 

And then that pink and green bitch calls his name. I’m shocked. I can’t move, or see, or hear anything, and then it’s too late. He’s up on the stage and it’s too late. I can’t volunteer, can’t save him, can’t fix it. Once again he’s getting more punishment than his fair share. This kid that cries when he sees a hurt wild dog. That cried when he learned we ate our baby pigs. That’s been in love with the same girl for eleven years. The girl that’s going in with him. Shit!!! She’s going in with him!! They’re gonna die in there together. Well, I think darkly, they’re gonna have to talk now. 

I go and look for Rye, and we both just stare at each other. He’s not saying it, but he’s thinking it. “Yeah, I know. I should’ve. I… I couldn’t make the words come.” I hate myself.

I’m expecting him to scold me, to yell. Being the parent’s favorite makes me the least favorite brother. They neither one like me much. Well, that ain’t-isn’t true. They like me just fine. They’re just very jealous. I would be too, if I was-were gettin’ beat for minor shit that don’t even matter, and someone else wasn’t. I don’t expect him to hug me. He does, pulling me in close, even kissing my forehead like he did when I was little. I don’t even wipe it off this time.

“Hush. It isn’t your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t do anything right neither.”

He smiles a little. “Either, you mean. But it doesn’t matter. It’s going to be okay. Besides, I think she’d kill him, if you went in instead. It wouldn’t be a good sacrifice. She’d hate him even more, especially if you didn’t come back.” He shook his head. “God help me for what I’m gonna say, but it’s better this way. If he comes back, JoAnn won’t think he’s worthless anymore. If he doesn’t”, his breath shudders, “if he doesn’t, well. Then she never touches him again.”

I swallow around the lump in my throat. The one thing she only did to him. Rye got beat, sure. But he didn’t get touched like she touches Peeta. It… it’s not that she straight up sleeps with him. But it’s…uncomfortable, to even watch. Humiliating. Can’t imagine what it feels like. “Right. Well, ready to say” Oh I can’t say goodbye. I blink some rogue tears. “To send him off?”

“Yeah.” He says gruffly. “Yeah.” I can tell he’s thinking what I am. This is gonna be a shitshow.

It’s worse than I thought it’d be. We’re all standing there and not saying anything. Rye at least held him while he cried. JoAnn is world class, says something truly evil. Says she’s rooting for Everdeen, and if there was any fondness I ever had for that woman, it’s done. She runs out, even though all the rest of us are begging her to not. I scoff, but Peeta is laughing, no, cackling. Like nothing has ever been so goddamn funny. 

“Love you too, Mama! Hope I get to see you again!” He yells out, voice hard and bitter. “God. What the fuck?” He scrubs at his face, leans back, screaming and laughing and sobbing into his hands. 

Rye runs after our useless fucking parents, trying to talk sense into them. It’s pointless. Anyway, we’re almost out of time. Almost out of time. I can’t fuck it up again. 

“I know it ain’t great timing to be asking you a favor, but do one for me anyway?”

“God, Soren. What?” He sighs, clearly not in the mood for whatever he thinks I might say. I sit down on the saggy sofa, clapping his shoulder.

“I need you to tell her. Please. She deserves to know.”

He huffs, rolls his eyes. “It’s all a bit pointless, ain’t it? Nothing either one of us could ever do now.”

“Yeah, but I know you. You’d never be able to live with yourself if you never told her. So you’ve gotta. Find some way. Do one of those grand gestures you’re always planning. Or, fuck, I dunno, do it private. Over coffee or whatever. But tell her, little bun.” I’ve never called him that. Not sincerely, anyway. That’s what Dad and Rye(mostly Rye these days) call him. But, it felt right. “I’m really sorry I didn’t”

“Don’t be.” He cuts me off. “I get it. Don’t be sorry. In fact, promise me. You don’t get to feel guilty about it.”

I swallow hard again. The Peacekeepers are coming to take me away. I clap him on the shoulder one more time. “Alright. I love you. Uh, good luck and all that. And happy birthday”

It gets him to laugh, even if it’s just a dark laugh. “Thanks. Uh…see…mm. See you later.”

“Yeah. See you later.” I don’t know if I believe he will, but I know he can win this. I hope he does.

I try to keep my promise, of not feeling guilty, for not stepping up and going in for him. It’s not easy. Suddenly our room feels too big, too empty.  Rye and I haven’t moved a damn thing. There’s still a half finished drawing on the desk, a pair of silver eyes. I wanna puke everytime I see them. I do my homework downstairs in the bakery now. 

We’re closed on the day of the interviews. We close a little more now, though not as much as I thought we would. Dad hides, crying in long showers or disappearing on errands, and JoAnn, Rye and I are stuck in the bakery together, avoiding curses and rolling pins being hurled at us. Now that Peeta isn’t here, I’m getting on her nerves more. I’m sporting black eyes now too, though I don’t let them show. I can’t cover them like Peeta does, and I’m a little paler than him anyway, but the little tube of concealer he left behind does fine enough. 

We all sit on the couch, pretend to be a family over some tea and cookies. We’re eating more fresh, a result of the sympathy money. People have been spending a lot on baked goods here lately. The mayer orders a cake a week. Madge must know we’re feeding Prim and Mrs. Everdeen(Mama does too, and she hates it. Dad catches an ashtray to the nose for it). She likes Katniss too. 

Anyway, my baby brother is talking to Ceasar Flickerman, and they’re playing off each other like they’ve been co-hosts for decades. He’s charming. Affable. He could make this a career if…when he wins. And then Ceaser asks about a girl, his whole body shifts. He gets a little nervous, a little small, tries to shift the conversation but Ceaser ain’t having it. He pushes Peeta again. Say it say it say it, you little dork, or I swear to god. I’m staring at his face in the tv. Maybe if I think it hard enough he can somehow get it. You promised.

He clears his throat. “Well, there is this one girl…”

I sink back into the couch with a sigh of relief. There you go, bro. Took you long enough.

She even goes for it. When they change the rules(which I still can’t get over, but maybe young love is more exciting than child murder for those people.((if that’s the case, can we make it a matchmaking game? I’ll volunteer. I’ll host.)) I just don’t know if I trust it) and she’s up in that tree, screaming his name, I know it’s over. She likes him too. She tears through the Arena just to find him, looking very camouflaged and very dead by the river. He flirts, and she giggles and blushes. What? Maybe she’s just soft for him. Good. It’s what he deserves. Hard for everyone else but soft for him.

For a few days I’m worried I’m gonna have to watch my baby brother lose his virginity on national television, but as cuddly and kissy as Katniss is, she’s clearly not very experienced. She won’t change around him, she blushes every time they kiss. She’s actually sweet. A giggly, nervous, even precious little thing. She looks even tinier next to Peeta, so short and thin and fine boned. They fit each other. They’re striking together.

It’s all anyone can talk about, but for the first time I don’t mind hearing about it all. I join in at school, spilling all the secrets I know. It’s a little shitty, but I can’t help it. It’s so…excuse the dopey ass phrasing, but as one teacher said, life affirming to see. My homelife is worse, but if they really can win and win together, it’ll be like a real life miracle. Hard proof that not everything always has to completely fucking suck, all the time. That sometimes, good things happen to people. Sometimes good things happen to the people who deserve it the most. 

The berries give me a heart attack. I’m on the edge of my seat and I don’t think I breathe the whole time. I don’t know what to expect. Are they gonna let them live? Are they gonna blow them up? Send in mutts again? Let them live and torture them on the air? I almost shut my eyes, bracing for the canons, but instead Templesmith is shouting, telling them to stop, that they both won, and he did it. He actually did it. I’m jumping and screaming and laughing and we’re all hugging even, because he fucking did it. He won, and he got the girl of his dreams. This one time, it actually works out for him. This time, Peeta gets what he wants.

[ryuichirou]

Hi I just wanted to also throw in my support and let you know that I'm sorry you're dealing with people being horrible. Art is meant to be whatever you want it to be and just because you like something in fiction doesn't mean you like it in real life or are some monster indorsing literal crimes (That's why it's called FICTION). You have an amazing art style and a great sense of humor and even though there are some things I don't like that you make I know all I have to do is skip them. People need to understand the difference between participating in ways to limit real threats real threats (like refusing to consume media made by proven abusers and crinimals) and functionally conservative censorship (even if they don't want to admit that is what they are doing) just because they do not like something or it makes them uncomfortable (especially when that censorship many times comes with unsubstantiated accusations and literal death threats). I'm not one to have the mind set of 'back in my day things were better!' because no they weren't, but one thing my generation did do right was learn how to block and ignore things that they were uncomfortable with instead of deciding that the best route to take is literal cyber attacks (I hate calling it 'bullying' since that doesn't even cover half the horrible stuff I've seen people say and do) on people to the point of wanting them to kill themselves over literal fictional characters in art.

I AM AND ALWAYS WILL BE A FIRM SUPPORTER OF NON-CENSORSHIP! NO MATTER WHAT NAME FUNCTIONAL CONSERVATIVES CALL THEMSELVES.

I'm sorry this was a rant but please know that you do have people who support you and even if I don't like everything you do, ultimately your art isn't for me. It's for you, and no one has a right to tell you what you are and are not allowed to create. I hope that things get better. <3333

Thank you very much for your kind words of support. I always say that, but I mean it: it's super important to hear that there are people who understand where we're coming from and let us know about it and are willing to express their opinion. Your ask actually really cheered us up that day <3

You’ve made a lot of great points, and I agree with you wholeheartedly! An artist has their freedom to draw and post whatever they want, and the viewer has their freedom to look at it or block it and forget it. If you don’t like it or don’t get it, it’s not for you to get – it’s plain and simple like that.

And yes, there ARE ways to limit irl threats and problematic situations! There are groomers, a lot of them are in fandom spaces, but these folks are looking at the wrong people. And they know it damn well, their goal isn’t actually to bring justice or make someone feel safe: if that was the case, they would just have a list of tags to block and that would suffice nicely.

Also you’re right, things weren’t better back then, but people really did seem to mind their business and ignore/block stuff they don’t want to see more often. And even when artists/writers/people in general received shit from others, it was understood by everyone than people doing this stuff were just straight-up trolls whose entire goal was to mess with others. But nowadays people who harass, bully, threaten and send “kys” messages somehow try to make it seem like they are morally superior to their victims??? Which makes them even more closely resemble pro-censorship conservatives. Honestly, it’s stupid how similar these people sound to some of the 70 y.o. fools who run our country and the censorship laws they create. It’s like verbatim sometimes. Sorry, I digress.

Once again, thank you so much for your support <3 I hope you are having a great day.

[saintarmand]

multiple popular blogs in the iwtv fandom have a documented pattern of behavior of saying anything ranging from "could be interpreted as a bit racist but only if you're looking for it" to now literally "the real racism is actually against white people" and other alt right talking points. LOOK AT THE PATTERN.

you see the same people constantly complaining about how they keep getting called racist by black fans over and over again, and instead of asking yourself "why do so many black fans think these people are racist? could they be onto something?" you zero in on how polite they are about it and go "well, they put some naughty words after the word racist, looks like there really is a woke mob of big bad black bullies terrorizing the fandom, sounds legit!"

the thing is, something like about a year ago, i actually posted an absolute garbage take i can't believe i ever thought was acceptable, and got rightfully called out for it. i had some other white people agreeing with me, but THANK GOD someone i followed reblogged a post talking some sense. i freaked out at first of course. "someone is vagueing about me? that's not exactly what i said verbatim. i'm being misinterpreted unfairly! what if everyone finds out and starts hating me?" i got defensive, though i avoided throwing the classic huge public tantrum by simply logging off until i cooled down a little, so i managed not to draw that much attention. it's probably only because it was people that i already thought seemed really smart who were saying it, that made the voice at the back of my mind go, "what if they're right and i'm wrong?" so i really thought about it. at first i thought it was just my phrasing that was bad and if i explained it better it would be fine. but now that i've had over a year to think about it and listen and learn, i've come to realize just how stupid that was. and it's probably not the only dumb racist post i made, just the one that i saw called out. i've since deleted the whole blog so i can't check. which i admit i did in large part so other people couldn't check anymore either.

and what were the only consequences i faced? there are users that i think are really cool, and even some i was following, who have me blocked. i go :( about it for a second when i can't reblog a post. iirc like 3 anon asks i've gotten in total, only one of which was even mean at all. oh the horror, someone called me a racist bitch. i literally WAS. and even if i wasn't, so what? it made me feel a little bad, yeah. it would probably actually feel LESS bad if i thought it didn't apply. it would just be confusing and a little funny. it did apply, and it probably still does, i got a lot of shit to unlearn. in my book, me feeling bad is absolutely worth it if it brought whoever sent it even a smidgen of satisfaction. them having to witness my bullshit was undoubtedly worse.

the only reason i'm able to be as polite as i am is because as a white person this does not affect me personally. this fandom has been racist since before the show even started. if i saw popular blogs in my fandom being, say, lesbophobic for more than two years, constantly, and getting away with it, still being popular, receiving praise, and every time i said anything about it i had their followers come after me, while consoling them, i'd be pretty fucking pissed. i'd get tired of being nice so fast. and that's not even mentioning the trauma from a lifetime of racism in real life and online that black people have to deal with. i can't even imagine.

"racist" is not a goddamn slur. anyone who tries to tell you that it is has an agenda, and it's not that hard to figure out what that agenda is.

OPEN YOUR EYES AND LOOK AROUND YOU. really look. and when you see it, STAND UP AND SAY SOMETHING. i'm ashamed it's taken me this long to do that.

[humanmorph]

some more piecemeal pal48 posting. eclectic round 😁

To get it out of the way: terrible. horrible. horrid rolls. I was laughing AND went noooo!!!! out loud when Keith was like "Sorry, uhm, Eclectic dies here." as a reaction likeeee. BOTH times. the SAME dice? god.

I honestly didn't have many thoughts on the Delegate process before the reveal (only questions) (edit: some of which I do still have, like: how were dvines chosen to make elegates out of? Did fidelity choose? Was is a punishment of sorts or pure practicality about who would make the best delegates, whatever that means? I bet this would've been an audio log.) but it extremely tracks it's another Divine. I thought about the Pleroma Hypothesis (I am kind of constantly thinking about it when I think about Palisade. it's there in the back of my head) & how the reaction we got from Divines back in the fleet was mostly to die off to escape that fate. And I was gonna say, what do you do when even that stops being an option (Gumption : ( )? Make others into tools instead of become one yourself (except she also is in that easy a tool of empire). But I'll be real I am SO iffy on Divine Cycle timeline generally and then Palisade specifically to remember if that lines up. Fucked though! It's good! And. You know... I haven't really been too much like "Oh I wish they would've kept going" except I guess broadly I would just have listened to more Palisade. Because it's good. But now, specifically? I am mourning the Resident Evil sortie to the Garden of Fidelity we could've possibly gotten SO much. There could've been audio logs!!!! Thisbe could've been there with Integrity. Partial Palisade could've been there for real. Austin would've described the environment really beautifully. There would've surely been a plant monster to fight. And given it would've been Armour Astir... Could've Eclectic even swung as big as freeing all of the divines? Could there have been a horrible choice to make. ooooohhhh. ooohhhhhh (thinking about it) (sighing)

I also did like Keith being asked what Opposition looks like & he's like well I passed over it twice but fine & goes here's what it does when you look at it and it's an effect that's visually strange and hard to portay. Aphantasia king... (I do really love it btw I am kind of workshopping a drawing in my head, like I wonder if I /could/ portray that effectively? I'd like to try... but it's also getting stuck at the bit where I would have to draw/design the Divine. I didn't even imagine it as person-shaped at all but since Austin asked & Keith went yeah sure I'll go with it... But that's a shape not. Anything else T_T)

I have to say I was kind of crossing my fingers hoping for Eclectic to kill Fidelity somehow. Not that Divines are truly killable nowadays. I don't know. I couldn't tell you why I want this I think it's just because Future is out of reach. If I GET that golden ball

As for outcome I do kind of like the freed Divines just wrecking shit & it's interesting that they're in a way so similar to the Afflictions (don't care who/what they target, so deeply altered from who they were as Divines that they may not care?) but at the same time it is somewhat disappointing because what if they did. Something different. I don't even have a concrete idea because what happens does make sense to me!, it's just a vague feeling I have atm. Since they're on the map & an issue now though, I imagine there'll be more detail on that though. This is part of writing reactions as I'm listening along... this could come up 5 minutes after the point I stopped at... Alas. Similarly: what about Opposition specifically. It reached back when Eclectic was reaching out? If we both pull we can bring this thing down. & a window broke. I'm kind of gnashing my teeth about it like I truly wish So Bad this could've been explored in depth... Like even if it comes up again in the finale, it's just not an arc. And ik we already had an evil lab arc in Palisade (Delegate related, even. Well. That is what they went there for at least) but I just enjoy them. The PZN one is so good too truly horrible moment there when it's laid out what's going on! Haunting!!!! Honestly still gets me when I think about it, it's so good! Anyways. What about Divines who can't move on their own e.g. Righteousness? Did they just carry that briefcase out & take it with them? Because that could be actually very interesting re: August lol. I have to imagine this comes up again later because with the Divines wrecking shit August (left out of the mission on purpose) would've learned about what Eclectic did & probably have opinions about it. I also think this opens up some possibilities for Thisbe aswell, because Janine did say that the Delegates / their Divines were part of her goal ("mend the scattered shards of divinity").

done for now because i need to sleep but btw we still haven't gotten to the bit I accidentally skipped to and got extremely excited at hearing just a snippet of a sentence but the fact that it's probably in Clem's section is kind of worrying me. a lot actually. ooohh she's going to Win her scene I just know it... I am actually looking forward to it though. I mentioned before ever since the Tower game I've just been kind of along for the ride re: Clem and liking it sometimes more sometimes less but rn well. I am intrigued & I hope Art has a good time

[moonnue]

It's recently been brought to my attention that people that are speaking out for me are being harassed. I'll be answering that persons ask below the cut as I don't want to fill people's feeds with more drama, but I do think it's important to discuss. There is also very helpful info on how to report on Ao3 if you have not done it before!

In any case, I strongly encourage that you block, report, and move on if someone tries to pester you about this. Be careful out there!

I am so, so sorry this has been happening to you. I just wrote a simple fanfic and it is baffling that something like this can come out of it. It really ain't that deep. I also agree with you! I can't believe the other writer and I are the same age like please i'm begging you to leave this childish behavior behind. It is so silly. We left this behind in high school.

Report Link: https://archiveofourown.org/abuse_reports/new

Thanks so much for your words of support and you're help. It truly means a lot to me. Again, I am so sorry you have gotten caught up in all this. Wishing you well! ♥

@softpastelqueer

Text version of images below:

Hey, sorry to bother you again (I know you want to move on from this), but I received a bunch of unhinged asks/harassment myself (including threats) both for supporting you/being against an obvious mass bullying campaign against you and for joking that Titanic must’ve also stolen from them. The Protag drawing Astarion really was done before both of y’all, so I’m staunchly with you there

Obviously, it’s ridiculous to claim the protag of stories being an artist drawing a character is akin to copy written intellectual property. It’s a really REALLY old idea and it’s genuinely ridiculous to claim ownership over that. Even more ridiculous to consider we’re all older adults. Shouldn’t we all be busy stretching so our lower backs won’t hurt??? Like c’mon guys this is silly

Furthermore, what’s even more ridiculous is to encourage harassment of others. Again, we’re somehow all adults? If their claims of plagiarism were provable beyond the vague hand waving away of now owning the entire concept of writing about artists drawing people, then why did they and their crowd harass me instead of trying to convince me? I am a rando who didn’t know either of you and actually found YOU through one of THEIR first posts spamming the BG3 tag with encouragements to others to “teach you plagiarism is not okay” aka harassment.

I am both an artist AND professional editor for novels, manuscripts, and the like. I was trained to spot real plagiarism. Not a single bit of your structure could be flagged as plagiarism beyond the same premise.

Now that that’s been said. They’re still harassing you (and me now I suppose) and so I recommend you and others to report them on AO3. They’ve created an AO3 post further encouraging harassing you and encouraging falsely reporting your story for plagiarism.

If you’ve never had to report anybody before, here’s what mine looks like

[IMAGE]

My full report says “This person (WanderingIsobel) has been targeting and harassing the other writer (MoonNue) and also encouraging other people to harass them and report their story under the claim it’s plagiarism to use the same generic story premise. Half of the harassment is on tumblr while the other half of the harassment is on here, AO3. The other writer has explained many times that they have never read their story and to please leave them alone, but now they made an entire AO3 post dedicated to encouraging people to report and “comment” aka harass them over a weird fake accusation. It’s making it hostile both for the writer of Portrait Of A Vampire and for readers in general.”

Link for the AO3 Reporting

But Holy shit I am so sorry you’re getting caught up in fandom unwellness the rest of tumblr makes fun of. Whatever you need, I’m here to help, including even venting. I am sorry You’re a victim of a mass harassment/bullying campaign.

[sculptural-renaissance]

All right!! I had to skip a few days because I wanted to do something nice for SGU week instead of just posting weird memes, but I finally generated some fanart!! This has been a rough couple years for me, so I haven't had much time to draw at all. Anyway, a few days late, here's (hopefully) a proper tribute to the Women of SGU. 💖

Idk if I had a bar, I'd play the Cheers theme on loop until my patrons destroyed my speakers

It's Otto the Autopilot from Airplane. Why do they have that? Idk, probably the same reason they have so much chalk. (I can't fit the backstory pics here, but I photoshopped Otto onto Destiny's bridge for fun, and some weird guy asked who had blown him up, listing only what I assume to him were the "hot chicks." Thinking quickly, I said Dale had been pranked into doing it, and that's how Lisa's Girl Gang was born). [Insert Peter Griffin Explains the Joke here]

I was in a women's fraternity in college, and they were very strict against hazing, even silly stuff like this.

She has misunderstood the question. 💖

"But she seems so nice! What is she doing with such a mean guy??" "Oh... OH..."

"What do you know, Tamara? You're not a real doctor." >:[

Camile: *arrives*

Lisa: OH SHIT IT'S THE COPS anyway lemme tell you exactly what mischief we're plotting hehe

And Ginn's outfit is from a random picture I found of Julie McNiven when I was looking for reference photos. I thought it was cute!! 💚

Tag yourself I'm Chloe

☆☆☆

A couple notes: this (and basically everything I generate) takes place post-stasis because I am irrationally furious that a TV show I only recently discovered got canceled 12 years ago. Amanda and Ginn are now Real Girls with Meat Bodies ™️ (my inbox is open if you wanna hear me scream about my headcanons for them lmao). Lisa's eyes are "fixed," but I haven't settled on a prosthetic or cybernetic design. My hc is that they eventually adapt the neural link to allow her to "see" the ship in real time. This is just a silly comic, so I guess it's up to your interpretation. ^^

[katyspersonal]

Idk why you get hate when your blog is one of the most honest i have come across and your lore posts are so meta that i don’t even think most bb youtubers have discovered what you have lol. Y’all just got jealous haters.

It is far not the first time I've heard explanation that people are just jealous, really :') 👍 Like... That Alfred-chan (aka Clod Frollo) simply hated me and was jealous and latched onto the first chance to justify the unending wish to remove me is painfully apparent at this rate. Inventing up bigotry, harm and opinions that were never there to get the chance to declare someone you hate a "witch" is the oldest trick in the book! If you convince people the person is bad and harmful, you are automatically justified to treat them however you want.

It might be my lore, because they were really mad at the fact that I write essays on multiple occasions? Like, they try to paint it as me "having no life" or "being mad", but. dude. dude you are projecting. If the only way you could write essay on a topic you care about is abandoning all your chores and needs and/or getting mad at someone, then I have bad news for your intellect? :/ This is a very common attitude from people that cannot say anything interesting on their own and just post the same two-sentence brainlet takes about how much male characters/fans suck or how their [LGBT headcanon] is the only true interpretation and everyone who disagrees can't analyse media. 🤔 So how can they feel better about not having as many interesting headcanons or good theories? They've picked the low-effort way - to attempt destroying the value of "lore essays" by painting them as a bad thing! I will be real tho - they've gotten like, two asks about their headcanons in a lifetime (both about the same character, ironically) and shown that they CAN post something good when they want to, so eventually it is the matter of choosing low-effort way. Destroying is easier than creating!

It could also be freedom, and honesty, like you said. Some people's only trump card is being """good"""! Some people think if they put 'transphobes DNI' in their bio and regularly seek to call out bigotry that isn't here they are automatically a good person who is now allowed to stalk, harass, be toxic in general and push even genuinely innocent people under the bus. But I do not have to compensate for lack of personality and latch onto any ideology or activism - I am already a pretty awesome and interesting individual on my own. 😎 Not to mention how they have to put on the hard show of fighting "for the common good" to keep their following engaged, meanwhile I still have very genuine and deep support even despite my honest fuck-ups (forget the fabricated accusations!). I don't have any other theory than them knowing (maybe subconsciously) that by surrounding themselves by witch-hunters ideological soldiers, they've trapped themselves in the situation where if THEY fuck up - their "fans" will turn on them, if not cancel them. Building following based on ideology instead of shared interest (or one's own unique radiant personality, like mine 😎) is the worst thing you can do to yourself. Because... guess what? Correct, because that sort of people eats their own.

________________________

I'd appreciate no more personal asks like this for some time, because I genuinely start to feel guilty talking about myself so much (in my personal blog.... hmmm logical...). But again, kids, remember - you must make your worth with cool shit like talent, great personality traits, positively encouraging others, etc and not in ideology and making up witches you could "defeat". That person has the capacity by having some nice ideas, being able to craft stuff, drawing. They could easily win all the supporters they've lost back and outgrow me by LARGE merit if they apologised, admitted mistakes and committed to cultivating positive emotions, discussions and content. It is basically so easy and it is so much cringe to take so many Ls because of jealousy and obsession?

[yukikorogashi]

   Remember my friends, there are always going to be a bunch of haters and naysayers out there. And even if you also receive love and support from the other side, the former just LOVES having the stronger grip over you. Love knowing that what they say and think of you, ends up affecting you way more than the love and belief that you get from others. Making you think that you have nothing... that you, are nothing.

   I need to start by saying that I know I’m not one of the greatest and most talented artists/designers out there, and know that I have a long, long way to go (And yeah, I welcome that journey, and of course look forward to learning more, and to continue improving!). But more importantly... getting here has NEVER EVER BEEN EASY in the first place. I am indeed progressing and am indeed reaching those dream goals of mine, but not without tripping over more than one obstacle everyday.

   I have had lots of people laughed and looked down on me over the years, all from different age groups, areas of expertise, etc. People from other occupations laughing that I wanted to work in this area, instead of studying for a “real job”. One of my own art teachers even flinging my final year project down to the ground, and nearly even stomping her foot down on it, before storming right out (She was having a bad day, but it still wasn’t right for her to personally take it out on my art at the time). People that just... never took me and my skills seriously, but still think it was perfectly okay to take advantage of me and treat me like shit (Like my first supposedly real job out of college, that I was abused at for nearly a year, and only got paid $1000, that I was told I was even lucky to receive, in the first place).

   And don’t get me started on how after drawing for decades now (Ever since I was born), I’m still hardly noticed on any of my Social accounts for my art to this very day. But, you know what? That sort of thing doesn’t matter that much to me these days... especially when all the clients I have worked with up to this point, are people that I personally reach out to through emails and stuff. Granted, it took a lot of time, but I am happy to say that I have mostly (MOSTLY) grown out of my self-hating phase. Because constantly tearing myself down, especially when it comes to anything I achieve, is just not the way to go, my guys. 💦 

   ... And also, I will say that I am really lucky that I can share anything I create with a few very, very close pals, my dear friends who are always nothing but excited and supportive of me... Besides learning to hate myself less (And love myself more), I have learned that these are the people matter so much more, the people I should be tuning my hearing aid to. 

   So yeah, this goes back to one of my past posts, about being KINDER TO YOURSELF. About actually seeing and accepting that you truly are PROGRESSING, no matter how slow it may seem at times. Be prouder of yourself, GDI! Why are you spitting down on yourself, for actually putting in those attempts??? For actually TRYING? You are actually working so much harder than you realise!

   But yeah... I am still drawing, despite all of that. I am still doing what I do, because...

   I fucking love what I do, so, so much. Despite how hard it is (AND GOD IT IS HARD, DRAWING IS HARD, LOL!), despite how much I have to deal with, up to this very day. Despite how many times I have to survive on a few pennies, during some extra though periods... And this effort and perseverance has gotten me to FINALLY work with clients in time. And I hope to work with more in due time, as I continue down this path...

   Anyway, don’t stop. DON’T YOU. EVER. STOP. When it comes to doing what you love. Get back up, ALWAYS GET BACK UP, whenever those folks try to trip you over. 

   And make sure you start listening to the folks that are actually CHEERING YOU ON, including yourself. Swing all that LOVE in your heart for that thing like a pillow and smack those haters in the face with it, before continuing your way towards your goals!