#why are you talking down to strangers on the internet because you write fanfiction that some people like

[the-casbah-way]

the ego trip some fic writers are on makes me want to die like girl some real world perspective would be a game changer here

[kookblurx]

" Scars " - dabi pov [ oneshot ]

→ SUMMARY: he caught your interest the first time you saw him but whenever you tried to get a better look at him ... he dissapeared into the night

→ GENRE: fluff; anxiety; cuddled; reader chasing after dabi; romance; sweet moments; mentions of burned skin & scars; f! adult reader.

→ RATING: 16+

→ NOTE: hey guys, im currently in my MHA phase; thanks to the new season. so i will write more MHA oneshots or fanfiction. preferably about dabi, kacchan & deku. if you have any one shot ideas you wanna see with dabi, please send them to me <3

MHA MASTERLIST ♡.°₊ˎ SONG FOR THIS ONESHOT

the moment you first laid eyes on him he seemed like a scared cat, a cute cat to be more precisely. something about his aura screamed danger but no matter how hard you tried to stay away from him ... there was always something pulling you closer. maybe it was his light blue eyes which flashed from underneath his hood whenever you catched a glimpse of him. those eyes haunted you in your dreams, made sure that you would never forget them. even on the news you saw his eyes but never his whole face. it made you crazy, he was so close and still so far away ... so far away from your reach.

next time you were able to get a glimpse of his figure was around 10pm. who would had thought you would find him after shopping for some night snacks? ignoring the grumbling of your empty stomach, you lost no time as you headed after him. inside your head you already had the best excuse for him. or at least thats what you thought because the moment you went after him into a dark alley, your gut feeling told you to turn around. it was too late.

as you spinned around on your heal the hooded man was right in front of you. it was too dark to see anything, only the light of one of the street lamps illuminated the alley. sadly not enough to fully see his face.

"why the fuck are you following me?" his voice had a hint of annoyance in it.

that annoyance was the reason why you didnt replied immediately. damnit, you even forgot the excuse you had prepared. fidgeting with your fingers it was nearly impossible to get a sentence out of you. of course the stranger noticed that, an annoyed huff was heard.

"did you swallowed your tounge or what? i asked you something"

god his voice was so deep it nearly made you melt inside. you probably looked like a stalker to him or to every other outsider who could see you right now. luckily around this time not many people pass by this street, mostly because of the recent villain attacks. as the silence became more painful to bear you finally spoke up.

"i just .. wanted to know who you are. I always saw you around my neighbourhood but i wasnt able to get a good look of you" you and your honesty.

"aha, you just wanted to know who i am? bullshit. where are the heroes huh?"

for a moment you didnt understood what he meant. you knew none of the heroes personally, let alone their numbers to call them. did the stranger really think that you would call some heroes to take him away? but there was another thing which made you curious. why was he so scared of the heroes, why does he immediately thought this was some kind of trap. unconsciously you reached out your hands into the direction of his hood. sadly the stranger wasnt fast enough to react as you slowly pulled the hood down from his head. it was still hard to see anything but the soft light from the street made it a bit easier. finally you were able to see his blue eyes up close, they were so bright even in this dark alley. another thing you noticed was his burned skin around his eyes and underneath his mouth ... covering his lower face completely.

it took you a few seconds to finally realize who he was. his face was so familiar and these burns.. let alone his eyes. you knew who he was, his whole face was plastered on every newssite on the internet. he was dabi, the most feared villain out there. only yesterday they talked about a family home which got burned down onto the grounds. luckily no one got injured but it was still pretty bad. slowly you lowered your hands.

"you are ... dabi right?"

"bingo little lamb, are you scared now? knowing that you ran after a villain who will kill you? a villain who looks so hideous that your blood runs cold?" it was obvious that dabi had fun cornering you but you on the other hand .. were curious about something else.

again you reached your hands out, touching his face. your fingertips brushed over the burned skin and maybe it was just your imagination but you could swear that dabi gasped for a second. his whole body became stiff as your fingertips roamed over his harmed skin. suddenly you felt sad, heartbroken and more. those burns must had hurt a lot.

"what the fuck are you doing? dont touch them so casually!" dabi tried to sound angry while he was taking aback by your actions. no one ever carressed his skin like this before. everyone else was always scared of him and his appearance.

tilting your head a bit you finally met his gaze. you could tell how anxious he was, even if he didnt showed it. dabi's skin felt rough underneath your fingertips, it wasnt soft rather wrinkley but you didnt mind. dabi gulped heavily as your hands moved down on his neck to the hem of his shirt. you could only imagine how deep the burnt skin went on. not wanting to pry you looked back up at him, this time with a smile on your face.

"i think they are beautiful. I dont see what could be hideous about you dabi"

taken by suprise because of your words, dabi stumbled a few steps back. in his eyes you were completely crazy "I- what?! dont say that so casually! do you have any idea WHO i am?!"

"yeah you are dabi, the villain who appears on every newspaper and forum"

it clearly bothered him that you arent scared of his appearance let alone his reputation. with both hands he grabbed the hood just to put it back over his head. dabi wasnt having any of this any longer. he turned around on his heels "you are fucking crazy, you know that?!"

mumbling and grumbling to himself he hurried out of the alley, as the light illuminated half of his face you noticed a slight red shimmer on his cheeks. this sight alone made your heart skip a beat. maybe dabi wasnt that bad after all. maybe everyone else around him just misunderstood him. with a humm you walked out of the alley after him, before he passed the corner he looked back at you again. meeting your eyes his face lit up bright red before dabi pulled the hood deeper into his face.

"hes really cute" with a smile in your face you walked down the street into the direction of your home. making sure to search for him the next time too.

[arcaneniffler]

So like some days ago I got into a “fight” with someone here over a post saying i *might* wanna write a fic from the women’s pov of robert’s rebellion… you know i thought i’d get a few likes and that’s it?? (I got a fic recommendation similar to my idea so thank you for that.)

And then someone just had to go and say stupid shit like “nobody blamed women”… well i responded and didn’t receive a reply, so i was like ?? have you given up so easily? Guess what.. they blocked me. (Funny thing is that i could see their newest reply through my browser so… lol)

“Lyanna chose to run away with Rhaegar.” Do we ever get a Lyanna pov?? No. So we can’t know for 100%. Most of the characters believe she was kidnapped tho, so maybe that’s an indication? Yes, of course she played a role in the rebellion. Was that a voluntary role? That’s the question of the century.

“Rhaenyra played an active role in the dance of dragons!!/ is partially to blamed for it” Of course??? She was literally one of the two people vying for the throne?? And the literal only reason why the whole dance happened was because she was a woman. (If anyone brings up the bastard-arguement… if she were a man nobody would’ve given two fucks about her having bastards.) As for Alicent Hightower — she’s a good example too. I love her as well, she’s such a complex character, but the point of an example is to just name a few [poeple, things, etc] not every single one…

Calling me sexist is a low blow. I am here literally defending women, saying they shouldn’t be blamed for stupid shit. I have dealt with sexism my whole life — thank you very much. Maybe you should just stop and look into yourself for a minute before saying shit??

Asoiaf generally treats people bad. Everybody suffers pretty much. I am not downplaying the bad things that happen to men; my initial post just happened to be about women. (I think the sexist thing to say is rather that “oh ok women have it bad buT WHAT ABOUT MEN. THEY SUFFER TOO. POOR MEN, let’s make this one about them too.”) I could write essays about the bad things that happened to some men in asoiaf, how they were mistreated etc. But I was talking about women in that post. Period.

And obviously, these women are all very strong. I think that’s what makes them especially strong and brave — that even though they live in a world designed to opress women and have many horrible experiences, they still survive and fight on. Sansa, Daenerys, Brienne, Arya, Catelyn, Cersei, Margaery — just to name a few. It’s not “wa waa women can’t do anything because they’re victims” it’s “yes, even though many women were victims of cruelty, they still continue to fight.” All of these characters (and not just the women) are very complex. Putting them into the roles of “victim” and “oppressor” are just too cliche; but I of course didn’t sit down and and write an essay about it, I made a shitpost on tumblr thinking 5 people will read it and that’s it. The fact that you came and critisized the idea of a women-centric fanfiction is just ridiculous.

I don’t know why arguing with strangers on the internet is such a good pasttime? If you didn’t like my original post you could’ve just ignored it. (And if you say “oh but you aren’t ignoring my reply either.” Yes, because you dragged me into this.) Everyone can have different opinions and theories, but when it goes over to the point where you insult me, I just can’t take it. I’m not sure if you will ever see this post, but if you do; I’m sorry if you’ve misunderstood me at any point— but please keep your chill.

[proxylynn]

Your Boyfriend: Stalk-home Syndrome (Day 1)

Chapter #1: YOUR BOYFRIEND

[WARNING: Because the internet needs more romantic visual novels where you try to win the hearts of your senpai, right? WRONG! Your Boyfriend is a visual novel, yes. But this is anything but a love story. Your Boyfriend is a game where you deal with a man's unhealthy desire to have you, no matter who gets hurt. And he's not afraid to leave the body lying around for you to find either. Imagine a cat bringing you dead mice or birds to your doorstep, except he had brought the corpse of the person you talked to the other day. It's a choose your own adventure story, so be careful with how you react to those around you, especially towards him. This game deals with themes that might be disturbing for some audiences, such as murder, gore, drug use, kidnapping, non-consensual intimacy, strong language, and nudity.]

So what better thing to do than write fanfiction about it?! Enjoy my descent into madness. I regret nothing!! Sincerely with crazy sleepless love, your friendly neighborhood author, Lynn~♥

---------------------------------------------------------------------

[Welcome, Lynsie. You two have fun...]

My life has been chaotic. My family broke out into another fit of drama, so I left the nest, ran straight to college, and got an apartment and a job. But lately, my job at a greasy spoon diner has been unbearable. The job doesn't pay the best, so that meant I had to find a roommate to afford an apartment. And now my roommate is always bringing some drop out into our apartment for late-night "study sessions". My sleep schedule is wrecked, and, even better, the rent on the apartment is late. I heard once that if you become a roommate with a friend, you won't stay friends for long. In my case, the friendship gets strained thinner as my "friend" keeps making excuses why they need me to cover their half of the rent. Thanks to that deadbeat, I'm working harder just to lose money on the rent. I'm nearly broke and getting a second job feels like it will kill me. At least in this park, I have some alone time.

I've always loved this part of the park; it's untouched by obnoxious family members and college jerks. Nice strong trees, thick but well-kept bushes, large boulder-type rocks dot along a narrow brook, and one random trash bin by the jogging path that never seems to collect trash but nuts from crazy squirrels. The only people who come here are the groundskeepers. Even then, they only come by in the morning. My preferred spot is the small bench by the water. The sound of its babbling always helps to soothe my nerves. Closing my eyes I rub my face and huff out the tension in my lungs so that I could calm down enough to enjoy the peace and quiet. Just then I feel someone sit down beside me.

Startled, my eyes open wide as I turn and look towards the interloper.

"Whoa! Hey, take it easy, it's just me."

The stranger says, trying to keep me from leaping too high off the park bench.

"You're a jumpy one, aren't ya?"

Can you blame me? I wasn't expecting someone to sit with me at my alone spot.

I guess he doesn't at least look like a creep. The dude has gray skin with simple features, deep ark circles border his eyes, and a round head without hair that was probably shaven off. He wears black pants and shoes, a deep-sea blue T-shirt with a heart that is half black and white, a black hoodie vest. My staring to size him up gives him a different signal. He smiles and scoots himself closer to me, shyly and awkwardly. I'm not used to situations like this. Most people either ignore me or are completely unaware I exist, so someone choosing to acknowledge me and get closer is new. Stuck to my seat, I keep my eyes on him, unsure what his intentions are. His unblinking eyes don't stray from mine. Not once.

"Sooo...Are you waiting for a family member or a friend? It just seems kind of odd for you to be sitting here, all alone like this, and so far away from the jogging track."

Okay, maybe he is a creep. No one just says that to a girl or anyone for that matter. Major red flags!! How often does a sane person just walk up to a random stranger out of the blue and opens things up by asking such questions? A chill runs down my spine and I can feel goosebumps form. I slide myself away from him and closer to the edge of the bench, crossing my arms over my chest. He picks up on my unease and refrains from sliding any closer. He crosses his fingers in between his legs and smiles warmly.

"I mean, you don't look like a groundskeeper or one of the old people feeding pigeons after doing Tai Chi."

That sounded a bit more normal but still, I'm not about to drop my guard.

"*sigh* I come here to get away from it all. A nice spot to relax and unwind. A safe place to de-stress from all of life's crud, you know?"

He nods, scooting himself closer, his hand nearly touching my thigh as he smiles shyly. I'm not one for confrontation, but if he lays a finger on me I'm gonna hit him.

"L-Look. I know this is s-sudden. Very sudden. But if you're free tonight, can I have the pleasure in taking you out to dinner?"

'Can I have the pleasure?' Why does that make my heart flutter? Alright, I get it now, he's not a creep. He's a nervous awkward guy asking a super hard question. A question I've never got before. I'm suspicious.

"You're asking me out? Can I ask...Why?"

"Well, I'm your boyfriend."

He states that as if it's a clear fact of life.

"Isn't that why you're here?"

His confusion is only matched by my own. 'Isn't that why you're here?' It replays in my head a couple of times before the confusion becomes a restrained annoyance.

"Ah, I see. Well, let me make this clear before more time is wasted..."

I pull the hood of my jacket off and let my long brown hair flow free.

"I don't know who put you up to this, and frankly, I don't care. But it's a mega douche move to play games like this."

He titles his head.

"...What?"

"Don't what me. I ain't falling for this. This will either end with me being humiliated and a video of the event posted for all to see, or I end up dead somewhere with lord knows what done to my body. So let's cut the crap and walk away with what little dignity is left."

I'm glaring at the ground at this point, my hands gripping my knees hard enough for my knuckles to whiten in tension. There is an awkward silence as the stranger stares at me.

"Who hurt you?"

The worried tone in his voice makes me look at him just as he moves in and embraces me tightly. This...This doesn't feel forced. It doesn't feel like an act. There's real feeling in his hold. I feel like such a tool. I give his back a few assuring pats.

"Sorry. I made things super weird. Life hasn't been the nicest to me, so I tend to see things through grime-smeared glasses. Makes me not the most trusting of people."

He pulls back but remains close.

"But what made you think this was a setup?"

I sheepishly look at the water.

"The way you said things. I'm your boyfriend. Isn't that why you're here? ...It came off to me as you were playing a role and I was some target."

He frowns, just sitting there with a firm stare. He's not an easy guy to read.

"Oh...I see. I think I'm getting mixed messages from you."

I look at him funny.

"I mean, it doesn't make much sense for you to come here, and then not want me."

...What the fuck is happening right now?

"Dude, could you be a bit more clear? Because I am so lost right now."

This situation is so wild and confusing that it's starting to hurt my brain. He seems to pick this up, looking away with an awkward chuckle.

"Hey, I-I get it if you don't want me to be your boyfriend, I just thought I'd take the chance to ask you out."

So...He's not a creep but a terribly awkward mess of a shy guy with awful pickup skills? Makes way more sense now. Knowing I'm not exactly a catch or confident in myself to bother with asking out others, I throw him a bone.

"Don't take it the wrong way. I'm flattered, really I am. I'm just paranoid and lack self-esteem, so the thought that anyone would actually ask me out fills me with doubt."

"But why though?"

"Huh?"

"Why would you lack self-esteem? You're amazing."

I wasn't expecting that. A genuine compliment. I'm made speechless and blushing.

"But...Don't worry, I get it. I suppose I'd be a little weirded out too if some random stranger came up and asked me out on a date. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable."

And now I feel bad.

"H-Hey...How about we try this again?"

I swallow a nervous lump in my throat and offer him my hand.

"Hi, my name is Lynsie. Most call me Lynn. I'm Ace and it's nice to meet you, would-be suitor. And you are?"

"My name?"

His expression turns to a grimace as his gaze drifts off to the side.

"I really don’t like my name. My name is a joke...Honestly, I’d rather be called something else, like a nickname, or something. You could call me whatever. Hell, you can call me 'cockbite' for all I care."

"Well, I don't know you enough to give you one. If you're willing, you can tell me your real name and I'll nickname you off of that, sound fair?"

He grumbles a bit.

"Please? If you really want this 'boyfriend' thing to happen, you gotta be willing to trust me. Just like I gotta try to trust you."

His eyes widen.

"Wait...You'd give me a chance? Even after that disaster of a start?"

I shrug.

"That depends...Do you trust me with your name?"

It looks as though he's biting his tongue in thought. Yet after a bit, he hesitantly takes my hand and motions me to lean in. Doing so, he meets me halfway and whispers in my ear.

"Peter."

Really? Here I was thinking it was something odd or maybe he was trying to dissociate from family. But that? The most I can think of is a dick joke, but that's more of a Richard-type thing.

"That's not such a bad name. But you have your reasons and I shall respect them, Pete."

It's a simple nickname that shortens his by a single letter. Yet that small edit is enough to make him smile and gently squeezes my hand a little.

"Yeah, that's much better, honestly. Thank you."

The expression of disgust instantly evaporates into delight and I rub the back of my head feeling my shyness kick in as we keep eye contact. Wow, I didn't realize, but he has some really nice blue eyes. The vivid color pulls me in, I'm lost in taking in their deep blue hue until he speaks with slight amusement.

"...Are we having a moment or what?"

All I can muster is a dumb embarrassed laugh.

"Heh...I guess my awkwardness is showing. Sorry."

He chuckles and shakes his head.

"Hey, hey, there's nothing to be sorry for!"

He reassures me with a soft smile. Any creepy vibe I might have had from him is gone at this point. Heck, I don't even mind that we're still holding hands. The contact feels rather pleasant.

"So..."

I do hate to spoil things. But I'm unsure what happens next and I want to be clear.

"You know what Ace meant, right? I'm Asexual."

"That's fine. I'm Pansexual myself. So it's not a deal breaker on my end."

It takes a second for the joke to kick into my mind and I have to bite my tongue hard to not laugh...Peter Pan...Hahahaha!

"You okay?"

Crap! Uh...Quick! Babble like an idiot!

"Oh...um...Well...What now? I'm...I'm not used to this whole 'date' thing."

He shuts his eyes in thought.

"I was thinking we could meet up later and grab a bite to eat. That's if you're not busy?"

I shake my head.

"My day is pretty void of anything. You?"

"My schedule's open for anything."

A thought comes to me and I sheepishly look at the ground.

"If that's the case...Do you wanna just...Keep hanging out like this? Maybe walk around and get to know each other more?"

I can feel the heat radiating from my cheeks, and I imagine them glowing bright red like a Christmas light. The thought makes my cheeks warmer, and probably even redder. This gets him to laugh.

"Heh...You're cute when you get flustered."

I finally break our handhold in an attempt to pull my hood back over and hide but he snickers while playfully keeping it down. He's stronger than he looks. This small bit of adorable horseplay somehow ends with us walking out of the park with our arms linked and my hoodie tied around my waist. Not sure how since things happened so fast but whatever. Not like it matters on my end though there was a reason I wear my hoodie even on a sunny day. My white skin is only slightly paler than the white shirt, my dark gray hoodie with a thick horizontal white stripe at the middle along with white drawstrings is tied by the sleeves around me and covers my behind, and my black pants nearly blend into my black shoes. Feature-wise, I don't think I'm anything special to look at. Hazel green eyes marred by years of random insomnia riddled nights, two surgical stainless steel captive earrings in each lobe, brown hair that reaches far enough for me to sit on so I have it in a ponytail, and an hourglass figure that's a little on the plump side. Like I said, nothing special to look at or swoon over. Yet if you asked Peter he'd probably say otherwise judging by how pleased he looks.

"Let's see...Small talk isn't my forte, but we can always do the standard date questions."

"What? Like the ones in every cliché romance thing?"

"It would be a way we'd get to know each other better."

"...Fine. You start."

"Ah ah. Ladies first."

I roll my eyes.

"Okay...Got any pets?"

"One. A hog-nosed snake I call Rat."

"Heh...All you need now is a rat snake and name it Hog."

"Snakes don't bother you?"

"Nah. I like snakes. My personal fave is the albino Burmese python. The way the red eyes shine like rubies against the white and yellow scales...*chef kiss* Beautiful."

He snickers.

"Got any hobbies?"

"A few."

"...And they are?"

"Promise not to laugh?"

He crosses an X over his chest.

"Okay...I like to draw sometimes. I play video games for fun and YouTube, though my channel isn't big, only recently hit 530 subs. Lay in bed and zone out to music, sing sometimes too. And I...I write fanfiction stories."

He's biting his lip to hold in giggles and I whack his shoulder.

"You said you wouldn't laugh!"

"Heh...Technically, I didn't."

"Fine. But for the record, your laughter was implied."

"Would you feel better if you knew mine?"

"...Maybe."

"Well, I enjoy romantic animes, writing poems, trying secret menus I read about online, and watching this cute little kitten I know sleep."

Must resist loudly going 'awwwwww'.

"That's adorable. Have you gotten the kitty to snuggle on your lap?"

"Once or twice."

"Jealous."

He blushes a bit.

"You mentioned anime. Got a favorite?"

"Promise not to bust my balls for it?"

Oh, this is gonna be good.

"I swear."

He nervously scratches his cheek.

"Ouran High School Host Club."

I just stare at him.

"My dude..."

"You said..."

"I have the complete manga collection."

This has his attention.

"...Favorite host?"

"Kyoya Ootori, followed by the Hitachiin twins. You?"

"Tamaki Suoh. I'm a sucker for the hopeless romantics."

"Are we having a nerd moment?"

"I think so."

"Awesome."

"Maybe I could read those mangas with you. If that's cool?"

"Heh...I think that's the tamest way a guy has asked to be in a girl's room."

"I didn't hear a no."

"...Let me think about it. It's not very lady-like for a woman to let a gentleman in her chambers upon first meeting."

"Classy. I respect that."

"Thank you."

"You mentioned you play video games. Do you play Pokémon and what's your preferred team?"

"A good question. While I like Digimon more, I do play Pokémon. If you mean evil team, Team Skull baby! Your boy Guzma is best boy! But if Pokémon, I love the dragon types. Garchomp, Kommo-o, Hydreigon, Noivern, Rayquaza, and Giratina. You?"

"I don't have an evil team favorite, though who doesn’t like Team Rocket? But I do have a main team. Aegislash, Chandelure, Bisharp, Cacturne, Seviper, and Midnight Lycanroc."

"Nice lineup. Ghost and Dark types are cool."

"Hmmm...Do you have a favorite color?"

"Not really. I'm partial to the darker colors like red, blue, purple, grey, and black. But there's nothing I can pin down as a favorite."

"So why the white shirt?"

"White is neutral. Plus its laundry day. My roommate is supposed to help with that, but...*groan*"

He frowns.

"Want to talk about it?"

"Not really."

Thoughts of my roommate bring sourness to my mood. Bitch needs to stop fucking around and fucking get a job!

"Hey, I have an idea."

He tugs me out of my thoughts and rushes us over to a local florist shop. I think I pass by this one in my walks downtown. He pulls us in and I become a child, my eyes wandering from flower to flower all while inhaling the deep fragrant aromas. I part from him to take in the orchids, such colors, and petal shapes. I really like the ones that look like the night sky. With careful tenderness I stroke a few petals and can't get over how silky soft the plant is.

"Careful, darling..."

Peter's voice sings softly beside me.

"Those are very delicate."

"I know. My mom likes orchids. She'd have like four at any given time. I usually ended up tending to them in the end. Such as I do with a lot of things."

I turn my attention to him and see a long white box tucked under his arm. Don't tell me he did what I think he did.

"Pete..."

As if that was the signal he was waiting for, he offers said box to me.

"Here, I bought this for you. Thinking about earlier today in the park, it might have been a little creepy to ask you for a date on the spot. Then I go and bring up a sore spot for you...I thought I might get you a little something as a way of apologizing...I-If it was awkward for you, of course."

He...He got me something? He really went out of his way to get me something? I try to keep my hands steady but I can't stop the trembling completely. Thankfully he holds it for me so I only need to lift the lid off. Opening the box I look inside. I see two long-stem roses, with deep red petals. The thorns were removed and they are bound by a shimmering black silk ribbon. I can feel my eyes beginning to water.

"I-It's no bouquet or anything, but I thought that it looked nice."

I'm at a loss. This gesture is making my heart hurt. I want to speak but I can't make myself say a word. This gets his attention, his face drops and he moves to take the box back.

"O-Oh. I-I'm sorry...If you don't like them, I can swap them and get you something else. What do you like? Daisies? Sunflowers? Lilies?"

The desperation in his voice breaks me. Much like he did to me at the park, I pull him into an embrace and the shock has him drop the box.

"Lyn-..."

"Thank you..."

Shamefully my voice cracks.

"Thank you so much."

There's no hesitation on his end. His arms take hold of me and he nuzzles the top of my head. Why is it now I notice the height difference between us? I'm 5'7" and he's gotta be at least 6'5"? Man, I am spacing out lately. Probably my insomnia's fault. Time feels like it resumes when the cash register makes a noise and I pull back a bit. Peter is all smiles, his eyes are soft and full of la-la Disney magic.

"Let me just..."

He rubs his thumb under my eyes and wipes off some tears. I feel dumb yet smirk.

"Look at you. Being all knight in shining armor because I got emotional."

I get back to normal with a small sniffle and he pats my head.

"What kind of boyfriend would I be if I left you upset?"

He picks the box back up and checks the roses, a pout coming to his face.

"What's wrong?"

"They got a bit busted in the fall."

"Huh. Oh well. Stuff happens."

"But they're damaged. You deserve perfection."

"Pete, it's fine. The roses aren't important. You are."

His eyes widen a bit as I scoop the box from him.

"Flowers are sweet, yet fleeting once you have them. It's best to leave them be, let them bloom for as long as they can, and spread that beauty as far as the wind will carry. That's why I don't like flowers as a gift idea. Fake ones are fine. They don't fade away. But these, these roses...I'm going to treasure them. Not because they're expensive. Not because of any dumb marking saying roses are symbols of love. But because you honestly thought they'd make me happy. And that's...*sniffle* And that's more than anyone has done for me in a very long time. Thank you."

I'm trying hard not to cry. Damn getting emotional bull crap!

"Heh...Wow, I must really suck at this whole dating thing. Getting all worked up over a gift. Pathetic."

His hand comes up and holds my cheek.

"You're not pathetic."

He gives my forehead a chaste kiss.

"You're a sweetheart. And I love that about you."

Who is this guy and why does he know just what to say to make me feel better?

"Let's go. You're probably getting hungry."

"Sure."

I am a bit peckish but I mostly want to go because I'm fairly sure we're causing a scene at this point and I don't want to be a story the shop-keep will tell to others. We leave the flower shop in better spirits than when we entered, the box of roses clutched to my chest and his arm draped over my shoulders. I wonder if I'm being too lenient. Letting him be so close like this. Granted I feel unusually comfortable around him, like, I've felt this presence before and am used to it. But that doesn't make sense, we only met just today. I dunno...I think I should set some boundary rules. Let him know what is and isn't okay.

A familiar smell tickles my nose. Grease and smoke. In fact, the area we're strolling in is one that I know too well. I walk it almost every day.

"Hey, Pete..."

"Yes, darling?"

"Where are eating at?"

"Oh! Dad's Damn Diner. You know, the place you work at."

A knot suddenly grows in the pit of my stomach...How does he know where I work?

I hold this in as we reach the diner. Maybe he's a customer that I didn't pay attention to? While I work I let my mind drift and after a while, I do my job as if I were on auto-pilot. I don't really pay that much attention to names and faces, even towards regulars. Maybe he's one of those regulars, building up his courage to ask me out every day but kept losing his nerve? Only seeing his shot because we were alone in the park? It's kind of a cute thought, but what if that's not the case?

We take a seat at a booth in the back and I notice it's not very busy, which is less unusual than most people would think. The waitress on tonight's shift is surprised to see me not only at the diner on a day off but with someone. I don't mingle with other workers while on the clock so any personal business of mine would be considered a rare find to them. Yet I do like to think if something goes south they'll be my backup if Peter becomes something I can't handle. She comes over and gives us the generic greeting along with menus. The food here isn't worth much but the milkshakes are good. They are the old-fashioned kind made with real ice cream and ingredients, and not the powdered mix and flavored syrups like at fast food places. I order a large classic and Peter says he's good, teasing how we can share since he's my boyfriend. She eyes us funny but takes the order. I can only guess the diner is less busy than I assumed because she returns with the shake in what only feels like a few minutes later. Peter watches as I pull the spoon from the vintage-looking ice cream glass and lick it clean.

"Mmmm...That's the good stuff."

He snickers and takes the straw, still keeping eye contact as he sips. He seems pleased. Perhaps I can ask while he's in a good mood.

"So..."

"Something on your mind?"

Here goes nothing.

"...How did you know I work here?"

He chuckles.

"Ah, so that's why you went quiet. That's my fault for not explaining. I walk by this place rather often on my walks. I..."

His expression is like that of someone internally kicking themselves.

"I catch glimpses of you through the window from time to time when you're working. I tried coming in, but, heh, I get cold feet and keep walking. Like a loser..."

Now he's glaring down at the table shamefully.

"Just walk in and say 'hi'. It's easy, I tell myself. B-But then I lose my nerves and stay out. You must think I'm a creep."

Poor guy, I know the feeling. I've crushed on someone but could never admit my feelings, denying it when confronted because I was too scared. I regretted it. Sympathy has me reaching over and holding his hand.

"As someone that knows how strong shyness can be, believe me when I tell you this...You're not a loser. Anxiety is a tough beast to fight off. Sometimes it wins and when it does, it's harder to deal with. But it took courage to fight it off and ask me. I respect that."

I reassure him and give his hand a gentle squeeze. The expression of self-loathing leaves him as he smiles, shifting his hand to interlace his fingers in mine. My face is as red as the cherry atop the milkshake and I do a miserable job at hiding it in my other hand.

"God, you're cute when flustered."

I want to smack him but he's too sweet.

"If you keep this up I'm gonna blush to death."

"Oh? So does that mean you can get cuter than this?"

"Please don't try to find out."

He smirks, taking this as a challenge and I regret saying anything. He eyes the cherry before looking at me.

"Wanna see something cool?"

No...Don't tell me he can do the cherry trick.

"Sure?"

He pops the whole cherry in his mouth and I just watch the subtle movements made by his jaw. After a moment, he sticks the tip of his tongue out and the cherry stem is tied in a knot. I lose it at this point, hood covering me and face in the table. He snickers.

"Too much?"

"Dude, you're killing me softly here."

He laughs and I feel so dumb. It takes some time to calm down, especially since the hand holding is still a thing. But now I am hungry and that shake is too good to pass up. He eases up on being sweet while I'm able to enjoy the dairy treat. Though I do feel the occasional tap from his foot touching mine. Also, this gives me some time to think about the boundary rules. I just hope he'll be okay with them.

"Darling..."

He pops me out of my thoughts but not off the milkshake. My eye contact while drinking makes him flinch and he rubs his arm sheepishly.

"I-I know this hasn't been the best of first impressions or dates...But..."

The words are struggling to leave me.

"W-What would you say to...maybe...d-doing this again?"

Asking me out for a second date? Look who's getting braver. I'm proud of you, Peter.

"I'd like that."

His eyes go wide and he stares at me with surprise.

"Y-You do?"

I take a big sip before sliding the glass to him, not wanting to hog it all.

"Yeah, why not? This was interesting. Not to mention, one of the best days I've had in ages. I want to see you more, Pete."

His face glows as red as I imagine mine had, and he stammers wildly as all of his thoughts unexpectedly evaporate in an explosion of joy. It's cute seeing him struggle for a coherent thought while trying to contain his happiness. His happiness of being with me, of all people. I could get used to this. Someone honestly caring for me. A true boyfriend. I hope I don't disappoint his idea of me being a girlfriend.

A popping sound outside gets our attention. The sun is just barely out and streetlights are turning on. Damn it...As much as I'm enjoying his company, and regardless of how flattering it has been, I can't stay out for too long.

"Time flies when you're having fun."

"Can't stay out a bit longer?"

I shake my head.

"I have work in the morning. That and it's not really a good thing to walk home when the sun is gone."

"True."

He stands up and pulls me along by our still held hands.

"I hope it's not too much to ask to walk you home."

After everything else, I am not surprised in the slightest.

"My good sir, I'd be insulted if you didn't."

He tries to keep a cool composure, but I can see in his eyes that he is struggling not to bounce all over the walls. Fuck, this man is cute. I grab the rose box and insist on paying for the milkshake, it seemed fair considering I drank most of it and he already paid for me once today. With that done, together, we walk to my apartment.

The walk is nice and the two of us go back and forth in conversation. Peter, surprisingly, did most of the talking. Seems he got more comfortable being around me enough to open up a bit more. Like he kept going on about his job as a product tester, and how most of the stuff was cheap junk. He films himself testing things like appliances, little inventions that claim to work, food, life hacks, that sort of thing. Sometimes small companies even pay him to test their items to help them gain exposure. But he doesn't let that sway him into giving them good reviews. It apparently has its perks and has him well off, so he can't complain too much about it.

Once we arrive at my apartment, Peter looks down at me and tucks his hands into his pockets.

"Well, this is me. Home sweet home."

He grins shyly. We stand in the hallway, neither of us knowing exactly what to say next. Suddenly, I start to hear faint sounds of my roommate and their 'study partner' messing around inside. Peter hears them, too, and his eyes go a bit wide. So much for this date ending on a non-embarrassing moment. Even worse I begin to cringe over the sounds, and the mental images of the two of them on the kitchen countertop flashing in my mind. Peter is avoiding eye contact, and his cheeks are getting flush. Almost like he's picturing the same thing too. This bitch just keeps finding new ways to fuck my life up.

"Just kill me now..."

I mutter, not wanting to open the door to MY apartment. He seems to put things together, my reluctance to go inside due to my rather promiscuous roommate and this is merely the first date, so I'm not about to offer him to come inside. He steps back a bit to give me a little space.

"I...I better get going then."

"I'm sorry. She fucking drives me crazy."

"I can tell."

I run my hand over my face and give him a small smile.

"I really did have a great time, Pete. And if...This...Hasn't turned you off, I do still want to continue this."

Relief fills his eyes.

"I'd love nothing more. When do you wanna meet up? I mean, when you get then time."

I think for a moment. Shit! I work all day this week; not a single day off to my name. Still, maybe we can...

"I dunno...But...Tomorrow is a slow day since it's Sunday. You can come over if you'd like!"

Down girl! Don't come off desperate.

"Hmmm, having me pose as a customer to extend your break time...Devious...I like it."

"...Not what I was going for, but screw it. Sure. And if we get lucky we can play hooky and rebel against the establishment too."

I giggle to myself as he flashes a wry smile and leans in. I barely register how close he gets and back up much to his confusion.

"Not yet. I'm not ready."

He frowns a bit but nods.

"I understand."

He turns and starts walking down the hall. No...Don’t let him leave like that!

"Peter, wait!"

I panic and used his real name. He pauses mid-step and nearly trips over himself.

"What? What's wrong, darling?"

I don't know why but I'm trembling. Crap, for all my talk of bravery and overcoming shyness, I'm freezing up. All I can manage is to reach my hand out and he comes back to me, holding me close and stroking the back of my head.

"If you want me to stay, just say the word."

My throat is so dry. Damn it! Fucking speak you moron!!

"I...I've thought a lot on this..."

"Yes?"

"I'm not used to this...being with someone...being in a relationship..."

"I know. And that's fine. I won't force you to do anything you're not comfortable with."

My free hand balls into a fist and digs my nails hard, trying to claw myself into functioning.

"W-What if we do things like in video games?"

He pulls back to look at me.

"I know, it sounds stupid as fuck, but...I was thinking of it like...Dates are like quests, spending time together earns XP, which in turns gains levels, and levels unlock new aspects because comfortably would match. Fuck, this sounded less retarded in my head."

Why did I open my damn mouth?!

"So...What level are we on right now?"

Wait...Is he willing to...?

"Um...Level one. Available options are base level. Simple dialogue and minimal physical contact."

He cocks his eyes.

"And level two?"

I feel my cheeks redden.

"Unlockables include extended dialogue options, more personal content, closer physical contact, and possible bedroom access but options there are limited to quick-time events."

He leans his forehead to mine.

"And level three?"

I look at the floor...I...I didn’t think that far ahead.

"Error 404."

He kisses my forehead.

"No rush, darling. You're worth it."

I smile weakly up at him.

"Thank you."

Feeling a little braver, I take his hand and give a kiss to his palm much to his amusement.

"Should...Should we exchange numbers?"

"S-Sure!"

I reach around for my cellphone as he does the same and the numbers are given out. Finally...A reason to actually use this thing.

"See you tomorrow, boyfriend."

The title has him beaming.

"Till tomorrow, girlfriend."

He leaves me with a noticeable skip in his step like he's won the lottery. Damn him and his cuteness. I miss him already. Now to bite the bullet and avoid looking at whatever is happening inside.

Once I'm in my apartment, I quietly and quickly speed walk to my room. I don't know if they're in the kitchen or were just loud enough to sound it, I don't want to know. All I know is I'm not going to sleep any easier what with all the thumping and moaning going on. Damn it, I just want one decent night's rest!

I don't bother turning on the lights in my room, I know it too well in the dark at this point. I kick my shoes off and let the hoodie fall from my waist, switching on my alarm clock for the morning. I cradle the box in my arms, the warmth filling my heart is bliss compared to the cold shadows in the room. I open the box and set it to stand on my bedside drawer, a few loose petals fall.

"♪I like that you're broken, broken like me. Maybe that makes me a fool. I like that you're lonely, lonely like me. I could be lonely with you.♫"

I hum to myself and open the drawer, gathering a bottle of water and a bottle of sleeping pills. I'm too hyped to fall asleep naturally. That and this feels like a night insomnia will hit, it always seems to hit me when I need to get up for work. I down three pills and drink a bit but not all. Choosing to use the bottle for the roses. Might as well have them last for as long as I can make them. I take the ribbon off and play with it. Even in the moonlight, it shimmers. Cool. I tie it around my left wrist feeling giddy like a kid.

*bzzt*

My phone vibrates. A smile comes to me seeing the name and text.

{Peter Pan: Sweet dreams, darling~♥}

I reply.

{You make me smile too damn easily.}

{Peter Pan: That means I'm doing this right.}

{Sweet talk like that earns you so many hugs.}

{Peter Pan: Oh yeah? And what kind of talk earns me kisses?}

{I'll let you know when you reach level two, sweetie.}

{Peter Pan: Oh snap! Dropping the S-word on me. Such scandalous behavior! What's next?}

Oh my god, this dork is adorable.

{Okay, for that, I owe you one cheek kiss.}

{Peter Pan: ...Seriously?}

{Unless that's too scandalous for you~?}

{Peter Pan: Naughty girl. It's not nice to tease.}

A yawn slips out of me.

{No tease here. I'll smooch you later. Right now though, this gal's gonna catch some Zs. Nighty night, Pete.}

{Peter Pan: See you soon, darling~♥}

I turn my phone off and set it by the roses. I go over to the window and check it. I've been finding it open when I wake up and I'm starting to think my old sleepwalking habit is coming back out of stress. Got so bad as a kid that locks had to be changed because I was nearly escaping the house. The last thing I need is to be sleepwalking my dumbass out the window and get hit by a car or worse. Satisfied the lock is set, I close the curtains, forego changing, and tuck myself in for the incoming smothering wave of medicated slumber. My mind never straying from thoughts of Peter. Nuzzling the ribbon on my wrist grants me the sweet scent of roses.

I'm so happy to have met him...

…

(an ominous shadow slowly appears in the window)

[txemrn]

I'm not sure if it's ok to rant to you so I'm sorry, but how do you usually garner readers? I don't really know how to interact with others in the fandom so I don't really get that many friends or readers. And also it's still scary to talk to others because I'm afraid of being judged.

Hey, anon! *big ol hugs*

So, you asked several very good questions, and I'm going to break them down completely out of order because that makes sense in my crazy brain! 🤣 Also, keep in mind that this is my advice, purely what I have learned through experience. In other words, take it with a grain of salt. 😘

First of all, you're exactly right! It can be very scary reaching out to essentially strangers because you don't know how people will react, or if you will be rejected, or worse, you don't know if they are trustworthy. Please do not think you're alone in feeling this way.

It feels like the first day of school or the first day at a new job when you first start out in Tumblr world. If you sit back and watch, you see the other friendships and "cliques" swirling around you. Naturally, you want to be part of that. We all do! We all want comradery and to feel wanted and that we belong.

Having said that, here are my views and my suggestions for getting yourself out there and interacting with others (and then maybe from that, readership will increase; notice the word maybe):

What we were advised to do as children still rings true: in order to get friends, you have to be a friend. Period. I know it's hard and scary and all those "what ifs" are in your head, but in order to interact and be part of the Fandom, you've gotta muster up that courage and jump in! We have ALL been there; and let me tell you: it's worth it.

And here's the beautiful thing with the internet: you're anonymous. People can't see you, so already, that pressure is gone. You're also "talking" by typing that you can edit, which means you have time to react. You literally have the perfect opportunity to put your best foot forward. Take advantage of it (but obviously, be truthful)!

Now, when I say be a friend in order to get friends, I mean actually being a friend. I mean talking to them. And joking with them. And sending them asks about themselves and their characters and their fics. I mean reading their fics. I mean sending them a message wishing them a good day because they are a human being that deserves kindness. Making friendships, even online, is a selfLESS act.

The reason why I stress being selfless is because people can ALWAYS sense when you have an ulterior motive, especially if it's readership. It reminds me of when someone you NEVER talked to in high school contacts you. You already assume they must be trying to sell you something from their MLM/pyramid scheme.

****

So, let's talk readership:

It will come. I promise you. It will come.

And I get it. You spent countless hours on a piece of fanfiction, poured your heart into it. You love it. You think it's fantastic. And you want to share it with others.

But, here's the hard truth about writing fanfiction: readership is fickle. If you chase after it, if you chase after numbers, notes, views, likes, whatever it may be, you will find yourself spinning and losing focus of why you even want to be part of this fandom. And worse, you will lose your joy.

We write because it's fun. It should always be fun. If it's not, why put yourself through it? That's the whole purpose of "fanfiction"--that's actually why it's called "fanfiction"! You are such a fan that you can't get enough of these characters, this plot, this story... that you get an extra THRILL writing about them. I joke with my closest tumblr friends that writing fanfiction is like playing Barbies: you are literally taking your favorite characters and re-enacting scenes or putting them in different situations. Most of us (if not all) don't have people in real life to geek out about this stuff. Thank goodness for this corner of the world!

Now, don't get me wrong. It feels good when someone reads your fiction. It feels good seeing that notification that someone liked it or someone reblogged it or someone dissected your character's personality. It's absolutely humbling when someone actually wants to follow you or wants to be tagged.

But, allowing that to drive you, always seeking the approval and praise of others, will induce sadness, anger, anxiety... shoot, it will make you question why you ever started writing. I know this from personal experience.

I encourage even now to make this your mantra: "I write for me." I know it sounds cheesy, but let me tell you: when you are pleased with yourself... damn, that's a beautiful moment. And honestly, that's all that matters. Being satisfied with something you created will give you the confidence and inspiration to keep writing.

Numbers will always fluctuate. It depends on the season: are people working? Are people in school? Are people on vacation? Is it the holidays? Are you writing for a book that's currently being released? Are you writing for a popular/unpopular book? I have some of the most incredible readers (gah, I love them so dearly), but life happens. Sometimes they can't read my latest work until 2 weeks later. Sometimes they can't read it at all. And you know what? That's okay, and you have to be okay with that.

Now that I have made you feel guilty for ever wanting readers (but for real, I hope I haven't because remember, it still IS a reason as to why we write; it just should NEVER be the main reason), if you want to render more readers, you have to get your name out there. Here are some ideas on how to do that:

Write. No duh, right? But seriously, if you want to be recognized, you have to put stuff out. You don't have to set up a schedule or set some type of weekly/monthly goal, but you definitely want to produce new content periodically (ie I try to put one piece every week... definitely doesn't always happen)

Post your newly written fics when and where appropriate (you don't want to seem desperate). Are you on IG? AO3? FB? Are you part of a group that allows for you to post fanfiction? Take advantage, and post in accordance with their rules (ie I am part of the absolute BEST TNA group on FB, and they allow us to post once each week). Also, right here on Tumblr, we have blogs DEDICATED to boosting your signal. All you have to do is follow their rules and tag them when you post your work. Check out some of my favorites: @choicesficwriterscreations, @thenannyaffair-fanfics, @openheartfanfics.

Join prompt challenges! This not only gets your name out there, but it gives other people to sample your writing style. Check out @wackydrabbles and @choicesmonthlychallenge (they have a list of all sorts of prompt challenges throughout the fandom!).

Okay... this one remember to take with a grain of salt because remember: we make friends for friendship sake. But... reaching out to the others and investing in others is another way to POSSIBLY gain readers. Read and follow others. Encourage them. Comment, like and reblog. And do not buy into the philosophy, "Well, I followed them. They should follow me." No. We become friends with people for selfLESS reasons; not for numbers. Period.

Whew... that was a lot, wasn't it? I hope you jump in and get involved with this fandom. It truly is a treasure trove of BEAUTIFUL people, and it's a ton of fun! And remember: readership will come. The most important thing in all of this is HAVE FUN! 🥰🥰🥰

*big ol hugs* I hope this answers your question. If you want to talk further about this, feel free to message me or send another ask!

Have a super day!

[fratboykate]

There is something that makes me so uncomfy about the fact that they think that just because we ship two characters it's always going to be inherently about them having sex and that "allosexuals are only focused on sex" like... no?? I write fanfiction I never write smut bc I'm not good at it and I don't think its always necessary. I prefer to focus on the romance and that's perfectly fine. I still enjoy the occasional smut reading but it truly isn't about that for everyone.

ALSO, when did it become okay to talk about someone in a term that they didn't consent to being called? Why am I suddenly called allosexual because I'm not asexual or aromantic? Like I get when they use it to differentiate but they have quite literally moved on to using it as an insult "oh the allos this and the allos that" and it's always so condescending?? Why??? Because I want romance and sex in my life? I should think there's something very ironic about them saying that people hate them because they don't want sex when they treat people who do like they're weird for wanting it.

I didn't even know what asexuality was before like, this year? I just thought, if you don't want sex or romance you don't want it and thats fine and if you do (As long as its consensual) thats fine too!

this whole argument (which is so dumb to begin with) has brought out some ugly sides of certain people and I'm pretty sure it's not the ones minding their business

CFAU is 400k words, plus however long the other one shot I have on AO3 is. I probably have close to 450k/half a million words up on AO3 alone. I would say there's at the very least ten times more than that spread out here between random asks, prompts, ficlets, and fandoms. While there are hints of sex scenes, there isn't any smut. At all. Anywhere. (Not for y'alls lack of trying tho.) That's not why I ship. The fact that they've turned shipping into this weird concept of "they just want these characters to fuck" is almost an indication that they think about sex more than we do. Sure, duh, if they're an OTP I want them to have sex in canon because who doesn't want that for their ship? But that's certainly not my sole or even main concern.

Look, they're going to foam at the mouth for this one because we've established that they hate to hear the truth but...they're not oppressed. People need to understand the difference between "I identify as this thing which puts me in a category that the majority of the population doesn't fall under, ergo I statistically am in a/the minority" and being an OPRESSED minority. The two are NOT THE SAME. No one has ever been fired from their job, denied housing, historically been violently discriminated against, or have laws passed specifically to take their rights away for *checks notes* not wanting to experience romance or have sex. That's simply not a real thing. Meanwhile the "evil allosexual" trans, gays, and lesbians out here are living through some of the most actually oppressive and violent years in all of history. 2021 was the deadliest year for trans people. Ever. Republicans are actively trying to take gay rights back to the 1940s. THAT is real oppression, not a stranger on the internet you could literally choose to ignore telling you some character you like isn't "ace". Go outside. There's people that are dying, Kim.

I'm also petty and stubborn so it kinda just makes me wanna double down now that they've turned Kate and Yelena into this weird battleground between them and "the allos" (derogatory) lol. At this point I just want Kate and Yelena to fuck in every corner and every surface of New York. No kitchen counter or alley left intact. Go forth and do it everywhere, all day long, year round my darlings. Don't even take water breaks. It's only 24/7/365 of deep, intense, soul changing, earth shattering, transcendental sex and love for them.

[criticallyacclaimedstranger]

Tumblr writer tag

Tagged by sweet @floraandfrost

1) How many complete fics/one shots do you have that you have not published (yet)? I post everything when I finish it.

2) How many WIPS do you have right now? 11, some of them being worked on more actively than others.

3) Do you take writing requests or write original ideas, or both? Anyone is welcome to ask me for stuff at any point. I might say no but so far I've said yes.

4) If you do take requests, how many do you currently have? Don't have any at the moment.

5) How many fandoms do you write for? Pedro Pascal characters, mostly Frankie Morales.

6) Are there any fandoms you wrote for in the past that you no longer write for? Yes, I've been writing fanfic since before I knew what it was, or before I knew what the internet was. My first fandom that I wrote for was The X-files. Only a friend of mine read those.

7) Do you write for ships, reader inserts or other? I don't think I've ever written an established ship, canon or fanon? It's mostly reader inserts and OFCs. I'm good at OFCs.

8) Niche fandoms/characters you write for? I clearly have a thing for ex military OFCs...

9) Do you read fics as well as write them? Not really, no.

10) What is your favorite genre to write for? I don't think about genres, I just write?

11) What is your favorite trope (to read/write)? I haven't really thought about tropes when writing. I only recently realized Frankie x Lady is friends to lovers? I don't know, I just write. I'm sure my writing is riddled with tropes, but I don't actively choose them?

12) What do you do to get motivated to write? If I want to write, I sit down and write, even if it's just 30 minutes and what I write is a bunch of bollocks. Writing is a lot of revision. If I don't feel like writing, I do something else.

13) Is there a trope/genre you like to read, but not write? I'd like to write something in the style of Isabel Allende, or Donna Haraway.

14) Any characters/fandoms you want to write for that are never requested? I rarely get requests so I haven't had this problem.

15) How long have you been writing fanfiction? Some 25 years, off and on.

16) Did you read fan fiction before you started writing? Nope, wrote it first. Did read a lot of fanfic earlier, though.

17) Do you only post on Tumblr, or any other sites as well? I cross post on Ao3, not everything, but almost.

18) What do you personally consider the word counts of “Drabble”, “One shots” and “fics”? Aren't there inofficial rules about this? Isn't a drabble supposed to be exactly 100 words? And I thought a "one shot" was a standalone fic that's not part of series? HAHAHA OMG I've been using the term wrong for my whole time here. That's embarrassing.

19) Which do you prefer to write more? Oh, that varies. I'm always game for more Frankie x Lady, though. It's like revisiting a familiar old threesome.

20) Are there any stories you have discontinued? If so, why? The Instructor was at a stand-still for a long time, and I didn't really feel like finishing it. I think it was because Marcus Moreno was an early PP character for me, and I fell for him, but then discovered more characters that, to be honest, were better written and also not from a cringey kids movie. But I always felt bad about not finishing it. Now I am (I hope)!

21) What is one of your main “pet-peeves” as a writer on Tumblr? Lack of reader interaction. That's one (of a few) reasons I quit my previous fandoms, so I'm no stranger to doing it again. Sure, I write because I want to, but if I wrote for myself only, I wouldn't be here posting and wanting to talk about my fics, would I?

22) Do you write at a particular time of day? Mainly morning hours. Something during work hours, because my job is hella inconsistent, so sometimes I have nothing to do for hours.

23) Do you listen to music, ambiance/noise, etc to write or do you need silence? Mostly silence. When writing Misty I listen to Kate Bush's 50 Words For Snow album.

24) Do you outline your fics at all before writing? Never! I sometimes feel I should. No, it all starts with one single scene, or maybe just a line.

25) Do you post your writing as soon as you finish it, or do you schedule it to come out at a specific time/day? I always want to post asap but I've learned that, sadly, the time of the day seems to play a very large part of how much attention fics get, so I try to schedule them for the American mornings.

Too tired to tag anyone but feel free to snatch this if you want to!

[angelinasway]

Regaining Hope Chapter Seven

Pairing: Clark Kent/Buffy Summers Warnings/Triggers:Torture, Violence, Mention's of Major Character Death, Bad Language, Sexual Tension, Eventual Smut, Mentions of Sexual Assault Summary: Takes place during Man of Steel. When Buffy discovers the U.S Military trying to keep quiet about an object buried in a twenty thousand year old glacier, she immediately thinks the worst. However, when a surprise visit to the Canadian Arctic puts her in the path of a mysterious stranger her whole world is changed forever.

Previous Chapters: [Chapter One] [Chapter Two] [Chapter Three] [Chapter Four] [Chapter Five] [Chapter Six]

[TTH] [AO3] [FFN]

Authors Notes: Thank you all for your amazing and wonderful reviews. I do need to address something though, when it comes to reviews, I honestly don't mind anyone critiquing me when comes to grammar, characterization, or even if its kind of a heavy subject and someone feels like they need to debate me on it. That is absolutely fine, for instance I knew I would get a few blocks and even someone asking about the religious views of this story. I do not mind that. I do however mind, if you think I'm a decent writer, but then proceed to belittle the content of my story. I'm going to try to say this as absolutely nicely as I can...If you don't like the content of this story, if the talk of soulmates, soulbounds, or claiming is not for you, if the romance of this story is not for you, kindly back out of this story now and please just don't leave a review. I will say that anyone who's been in the BTVS fandom long enough already knows what a Claim is pretty much a fanon canon, since its been around our fanfiction community since like 2002 at least. Wesley mentioned Angel and Buffy being soulmates in season one of ATS, so that is actually canon. I say this in the nicest way possible, because sometimes I think reviewers who don't write, do not realize how much a review about content can actually screw with our muse and inspiration and I believe there will be at least a handful of people that do write who will agree with me. That being said, this chapter took as long as it did for me to write because of a bad review, so I'm sorry for the long winded exposition everyone. I know this chapter is a bit choppy and if it wasn't for my beautiful Beta Hipkarma, I'm pretty sure it would have been illegible. This chapter deals with some pretty heavy subjects and I added a warning tag just in case. I do not expect anyone to feel the way Buffy does on this subject, and if you feel the need I will gladly talk to you through pm about it. Thank you guys so much again, and please review, unless you know its an above subject and you hate it. Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter Seven

 The plane arrived right on time as Clark anxiously awaited Buffy’s arrival outside the terminal. He’d felt this way since he awoke this morning and he didn’t know why. It was almost like that feeling you get when you know you’ve forgotten something.

 He’d dreamt of her last night and it was so vivid and real that when he opened his eyes, he expected her to be there. The feeling had washed over him after that, like a sudden cold draft in a stifling room. He’d also been as hard as nails and had to relieve himself twice in the shower. His dream Buffy whispering filthy words into his ear as he imagined pinning her to the shower wall and driving into her hard and fast. It only seemed to make the feeling worse though. There was a pounding, an almost driving force that told him he needed to see her and that coupled with the lust, he couldn’t seem to shake was a dangerous combination that he did not enjoy feeling at all.

 It was so strange, yesterday he’d been fine, more than fine really. He’d walked into his house humming and smiling. His mom had noticed his exuberant mood in an instant and raised her eyebrows in surprise, a curious yet knowing quirk in her lips. She had immediately started bombarding him with questions about his evening and Clark had been unable to deny her even a single detail. Well, there were definitely a few things he left out, but he told her everything from meeting Buffy at the school to him having to sing at Lorne’s. This was a first for both of them, Clark making friends and being able to tell his mom all about it. She listened intently, a happy smile on her lips as if this was something she had always wanted for her son. The ability to just be treated normally by people, even if they knew what he was. The more he spoke about how great Buffy was the more his mom’s knowing smile grew. He told her he promised Buffy that he would pick her up at the airport, and his mom had agreed to let him use the truck as long as he promised to take her to work before he left. She had a full shift at the diner tomorrow, so he was pretty sure he could make it back in time to pick her up and take her home.

 Later that night, after getting off the phone with Buffy so she could go patrol, Clark had spent the evening on the internet looking up several theories and ideas on the concept of soulmates. All in all, it was pretty simple stuff, a soulmate could be a romantic or platonic relationship with a mirroring of the souls. Where, both their values and ideals deemed them a perfect match. He had even gone to a few sites on the mystical aspects of soulmates that seemed to be pretty legit, and they believed that when it came to soulmates not only were the souls similar, but both souls usually challenge each other to perceive themselves and the world differently. In essence, your soulmate could help you transcend into a higher state of consciousness. All of that seemed to match very much with what he had been feeling since the moment he met her. None of that however, explained how he felt now.

 Buffy had been right the other day when she said it wasn’t just the soulmates thing. He was almost positive the out-of-control lust and the uncontrollable desire to be near her had very little to do with the fact that they were soulmates and everything to do with the prophecy. Something wanted them to consummate their relationship, and he was pretty sure that something had a reason. He wondered if he was in danger of meeting the other woman and somehow changing his mind about her. He definitely couldn’t imagine ever doing that though, not when he felt what he felt, not when she had consumed his thoughts so thoroughly since the day they met.

 He felt physically ill at the idea of ever having to fight Buffy as an enemy, Lorne’s words about killing her making him nauseous and dizzy. The demon said it most likely wouldn’t happen now, but God, what if it did? What if he wasn’t capable of fighting off this mystery enemy of the future. He shuddered at the thought, his anxiety level spiking in worry. He had to get himself under control.

 As the passengers began to exit the terminal Clark looked on, his eyes searching for golden hair and green eyes. When he finally spotted her the tension that had been growing in his limbs immediately eased. It happened so fast he almost felt boneless by the sudden release. Her eyes met his and a similar look of relief washed over her face, but there was something else there. She was scared, which just made the tension begin to build again. Clark frowned in confusion, but didn’t deny her as she ran to him wrapping her arms around his waist tightly as she laid her head on his chest.

 “Are you okay?” He asked.

 She shook her head and closed her eyes. “There’s something wrong,” She whispered. “I shouldn’t be feeling this–”

 “I know,” he whispered. “I feel it too.” Clark shuddered, so it wasn’t only him who was feeling it. “I think it’s time we learn more about this prophecy.”

 He felt her nod. “I’ll call Wes once we get to the safe house.”

 ****<S>**<S>****

 The drive there had been mostly quiet. The only real sound was Buffy’s smartphone giving directions to their destination. He hadn’t been able to stop himself from reaching out and entwining their fingers however, and she smiled at him gratefully before closing her eyes and sighing. They finally arrived at what looked to be an unassuming house just outside of town that rested on a few acres of property. Buffy untangled their fingers and reached into her carryon bag that was between them and pulled out a large multicolored crystal.

 “Here,” she said quietly. “Hold this.”

 Clark, frowned but did as she asked. Watching her as she muttered the word, “Agnoscis.” The stone suddenly warming in his palm as he caught the house in front of him shimmer for a moment out of the corner of his eye.

 “Latin?” He guessed.

 Buffy nodded. “It means recognize. It’s so you can get through the wards.” She bit her lip, “We can also bring your mom here, in case you ever need to hide her you’ll have a place to take her that’s pretty impenetrable.”

 Clark nodded gratefully, his eyes studying the sad expression on her face. He reached out and gently brushing the back of his knuckles down her cheek. Her whole body shivered at the contact, a small gasp escaping her lips.

 “Are you…are you okay,” He asked.

 She shook her head, “I think it’s affecting me more than you.”

 Clark was quiet for a moment, and then he shook his head. “It’s not, I think I’m just a lot better at controlling my impulses.”

 Buffy chuckled humorlessly, “Maybe, that’s something you can teach me sometime.” She met his eyes and Clark lost his breath at the want he saw shining there.

 God, she was beautiful like that. Her eyes almost swirling with color and heat. His temperature immediately skyrocketed, his pants becoming tight. He wanted to ask her if there was anything he could do, but didn’t dare for fear of what her answer might be. She had already told him she wasn’t ready, and if he was being honest with himself, neither was he.

 He swallowed, his heart beating in his chest. “Come on,” he whispered, opening his door and stepping out. “Let’s go make that phone call.”

 He walked around her side of the truck as she fumbled with her seatbelt, opening the passenger door for her and holding out his hand. She took it gratefully as she slid out of the passenger’s side, hoisting her bag over her shoulder after her feet hit the pavement. Clark reached in the truck bed and grabbed the only other bag she’d brought with her. He wondered where her weapons bag was, but remembered she’d just went through an airport and realized she probably couldn’t bring them with her.

 As if she was reading his mind, she said. “Willow was here last night; I had her ward the training equipment so that we can use it without destroying it.” She looked at him out of the corner of her eye as they walked up the driveway. Her hand fumbling with her keys as they made their way to the door. “I also had her fill the fridge and bring my weapons bag over.”

 He didn’t say anything as he watched her slide the key in the lock and open the door. He followed her through a spacious living room that was tastefully decorated, through another door and into a modern kitchen. She slid her bag off, dropping it unceremoniously on the floor. She pulled out her phone next, scrolling through her contacts and hitting send before putting it on speaker. She set the phone on the island between them and walked to the fridge, leaning her back against it as she closed her eyes. 

 Clark wanted to go over and comfort her, but something in his gut told him that would be a very bad idea. She was putting distance between them for a reason and he completely respected that. Her sudden change however, worried him and he was beginning to think maybe she really was suffering more than him.

 "Buffy?" A cultured British male voice answered after the first few rings.

 "Yeah, it’s me." She said quietly.

 "Is everything alright?" He asked, his tone worried.

"No, not really." She answered. "I think it’s time you told us about this prophecy."

 "Buffy, I've already explained–"

 “No,” She cut him off. “No Wes, you don’t get to do this. Not now. Something is wrong with me, I feel…” Her face went red, as she looked at Clark, “I feel like I’m on fire, I…” Her eyes moved to her phone and glared, a growl tearing from her throat in frustration. Her teeth clenched as she ground out. “I feel incredibly sexually frustrated, okay? Like a cat in fucking heat.” Her face went scarlet and she avoided looking directly at Clark. “Want to explain?”

 There was a sudden choking sound on the other line, as a coughing fit proceeded it. “Good Lord, it’s happening already?”

 The outrage in Buffy’s eyes, did something to Clark in that moment and he stepped forward his anger simmering under the surface. “What’s happening?” He demanded.

 “Mr. Kent,” Wesley said in surprise, “I didn’t…I didn’t realize you were on the line as well.” Clark heard the British man sigh, “I’m sorry we were finally introduced this way, I had hoped to meet you in person. I’m sure you already know that I am Wesley Wyndam-Pryce and that I am head of the Watchers Council.” There was a pause, before he continued. “I do apologize for not telling you both sooner, but I had hoped we would have a few more days before the bond started to require a need to be fulfilled.”

 “Bond…what?” Buffy’s face scrunched up in confusion.

 “I don’t really understand it myself,” Wesley admitted. “But it’s written that once the Immortal Slayer and, I believe the correct term is Star God meet, a…I think the term is soulbond will start to form and a compulsion to fulfill it will start to take hold. Now, both Willow and I think we’ve found a way to counteract the compulsion, but I didn’t expect it would start to take hold so quickly. I do apologize Buffy; I had planned to have Willow bring me there tomorrow so I could explain.”

 “What’s a soulbond, exactly?” Clark asked, “And how is it any different than being soulmates?”

 “I honestly don’t know, there are very few references to what it is exactly. I imagine that much like soulmates there must be a similarity or mirroring of souls if you will, but unlike soulmates there is a need…a compulsion for a confluence between the souls. As far as I can tell, once that happens it would act very similarly to a claim.”

 Buffy gasped and looked at Clark, her eyes wide and disbelieving. Clark swallowed, “What’s a claim?”

 “It’s a…a type of marriage between demons, vampires in particular.” Buffy shifted uncomfortably and looked down. “It’s barely ever used now because its unbreakable, not even magic can undo it. It’s ancient and powerful and requires total trust and consent between both parties.” She met his eyes then, an apology shining through but Clark didn’t feel like he needed one, in fact he just felt very confused.

 “That doesn’t make any sense, not after what Lorne told me.” Clark said with a frown. “If this bond is as powerful as you say then…” It was his turn to look at Buffy apologetically, “Then even if I met this other person first, wouldn’t the bond take hold when I met Buffy regardless?”

 “I don’t quite understand what you’re referring to.” Wesley said in confusion.

 Clark looked up at Buffy and saw suspicion in her eyes. “Lorne didn’t tell you?”

 “Lorne doesn’t give me the details of readings Mr. Kent; he treats all his clients very much like a therapist treats a patient.” Wesley said, adding. “The only thing he told me was that you were the one the prophecy spoke of and that you were on the right path in regards to your destiny. What exactly did he tell you?”

 Clark shifted uncomfortably, feeling Buffy’s eyes on him but unable to meet hers. “He said I had two very different futures, that Buffy was my soulmate but I have another as well and in this other future this woman dies and something makes me go bad.” He finally got the courage and looked at Buffy, her eyes were wide and burning with hurt and maybe a bit of jealousy. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, thinking he had ruined everything.

 Buffy shook her head and swallowed, “Did he… did he say what would happen if you met her now?”

 Clark nodded, "He said I'm a one-woman man, that it wouldn't matter."

 She seemed to relax a bit at his words, her eyes softening and darting back to her phone as Wesley began speaking, "Then you are very correct Mr. Kent, if you met Buffy in this other future, it should have activated the soulbond whether you had feelings for this other woman or not. A soulmate is not always a love interest after all." He paused for a moment, "There are only two things that could have stopped it. One would be that you don't meet Buffy until this mystery foe had your mind or if you did meet her, she was already claimed."

 Buffy gasped, and looked at Clark guiltily, “I almost asked him to claim me.”

 A potent wave of jealousy and possession swept through him at her words. If she was referring to Angel, he was pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to control himself much longer. Not when the very idea of her being tied like that with someone else made his blood boil.

 "What?" Wesley said, shocked.

 "Spike, Wes. Not Angel." She clarified. "It was...it was right after we found Alicia. I knew it could make us stronger and I... I thought it might give us an advantage against Angelus. I never had the courage to ask him though."

 “And thank every deity in the universe for that!” Wesley said sharply, “I don’t think you quite understand the repercussions that could have had on not just Clark’s future but your own.” There was a long silence, the only sound was heavy breathing before a much calmer Wesley finally said, “That kind of bond Buffy…think about what you did to Angelus and multiply it by a million. I was there that day you came through the portal after Spike died. You were almost feral; your Slayer was in complete control and she wanted to kill Willow for making her immortal. There was a part of her that already thought of Spike as her mate, and she wanted blood from whoever had wronged her. If you had been claimed and Spike died…” They heard him take a shuddering breath, “You would have burnt the world and then marched into Hell without a second thought in search of him. There would have been no stopping you.”

 Clark watched Buffy shiver at Wes’s words, her eyes getting lost and faraway. His possessiveness grew at her words, but a small part of him couldn’t help but be curious as to what happened between the two of them and why she so rarely spoke about him. The book had only said that the vampire had killed two Slayers, and had tried to kill Buffy on numerous occasions. He had been hampered by some form of neurotechnology by the US Government and began working with her reluctantly. Somewhere along the way he had fallen for Buffy and regained his soul, sacrificing himself for the world once, where he was resurrected by a mystical amulet he was wearing when he died. The author of the book believed he’d been brought back by mistake and the amulet was meant to be worn by Angel, but there was also some speculation that Spike may have been the actual bearer of the Shanshu prophecy. The author however, was highly skeptical about this because Spike didn’t do what he did out of heroics, even with a soul he relished in the violence of his nature. The author believed that becoming mortal would feel more like a punishment than a reward for the vampire. It spoke some about his time at Wolfram and Hart, about his part in the fight against Angelus, and how he died saving Buffy a second time.

 “I don’t…I don’t remember any of that.” She said quietly, wrapping her arms around herself. “Even what I did to Angelus, I only remember parts of it. I felt like I was outside my body looking at someone who wasn’t actually me, except I could feel what I was doing.” She shivered, and it took every bit of self-control he had not to go to her, especially when her voice cracked. “When I came to, I-I was covered in blood and…God, Wes there was nothing left but a torso and head. I…” She choked. “I even took his face.”

 When a single tear tracked itself down her cheek, Clark couldn’t take it anymore and he rounded the island and pulled her into his arms, hoping she was too upset to be affected by the embrace, but not really caring if she was, not when he could feel her trembling in his arms. He understood now why she’d been so adamant the other day about her being wrong in the way she killed Angelus and about Slayers not actually being creatures of light but warriors for the light. He could never picture her being capable of such carnage even after hearing it from her own mouth. Then again, he could never picture himself killing her either or anyone else for that matter, not on purpose at least.

 They heard a muffled sniffle over the line, before a choked sounding Wesley finally said, “Oh, Buffy, I never…I never knew it was that bad. We found the warehouse and the blood, so I did realize…but…not to what extent, and then you just disappeared and Willow couldn’t ever get a read on you. It was like you were blocking her somehow. Why didn’t you ever tell me any of this?”

 Clark felt her shake her head, “I was ashamed.” She answered honestly. “Lorne’s the only one who knows everything, even the stuff I can’t remember.”

 “Do you remember anything that happened before you captured Angelus?” Wesley asked cautiously. “I’ve always wondered how you did it, but was always too afraid to ask after the way we…the way we found you.”

 Buffy sighed against Clark’s chest, her shivering increasing. “I think I let myself be caught,” she said quietly. “The only thing I really remember is being bound magically by Amy and then Warren tearing open my shirt.” Clark stiffened at her words, his whole body going rigid. She squeezed her eyes shut, her grip on him tightening. “Angelus threw him out of the way, and said everyone would have a turn, but he got to have me first.” Clark’s anger flared at her words, his fist tightening behind her back, he had to squeeze his eyes shut at the sudden heat he felt building. “I-I don’t know how, but somehow I was able to break through the magic that was binding me. Everything’s kind of a blur after that, but I think…” She frowned, her forehead crinkling in confusion. “I think none of the spells were working on me. I think…I think I killed everyone.”

 Clark found himself sighing in relief at her words. God, just the image of someone trying to do that to her made him see red. Literally, in fact. He really hoped that something like that has never happened before, because he could already tell he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from tearing whomever did it to shreds. As horrendous of a way she killed Angelus, he couldn’t judge her for how she did it, not after hearing that. God, if she hadn’t been able to break the magic… He felt himself shudder.  

 Wesley was quiet for a long time, “I’ve always known that Willow brought you back stronger, but being able to break a binding spell with sheer force of will is extraordinary Buffy. We should have started testing this advantage years ago.”

 “I try not to think about that day, Wes.” She huffed. “I don’t think the magic going wonky even occurred to me until this moment.” She was quiet for a few moments, before she finally said, "So what happens if I bond with Clark and I lose him too?"

 Wesley sighed, "Well, I'm hoping since it’s your souls that are bonding and not your Slayer, that it will make quite a difference."

 "You're hoping? That’s really not a guarantee, Wes." She said in annoyance, stepping out of Clark's embrace and leaning on the island. "And what’s to stop my Slayer from trying to initiate a claim? What if this soulbond thing isn't good enough for her? Lorne already said she's been looking for her mate since I was called. He said that's why I was so drawn to both Spike and Angel." She shook her head, "Well, according to this prophecy he's my mate, right? Or the closest she'll ever get to one. So, what's to stop her from doing what she's been wanting to do for years? I mean I looked up claiming in high school, Wes. As soon as I read the word, I was fascinated."

 Clark stepped around the table so he could look at her. She seemed worried and deep in thought before her eyes met his and they softened immediately, a small smile forming on her lips as she studied him.

 Then they heard Wesley sigh, "I honestly don't know. We've still not even translated the whole thing and we've been working on it for over a year."

 Clark watched Buffy frown in confusion. "Is there a reason you haven't gotten Dawn in on this?"

 "I'll give you three guesses as to why." He said sarcastically.

 Buffy snorted, saying mockingly, "Aww Wes, you're not afraid of my baby sister, are you?"

 There was silence on the other end of the line and then a grumbled, "I would rather face all the demons in hell than deal with Dawn on a tirade about you."

 She chuckled and shook her head. "Well tough, because I want her in on this."

.

"But Buffy–” He started to whine.

 “No Wes,” she said cutting him off.  “I love both you and Willow, you know that. But, if there’s anyone in this world who will have our best interests at heart and give it to us straight, it’s her. I want her in on this.”

 “Fine,” He groaned.

 Then a smile broke across her lips and an evil look of mischief Clark was slowly becoming familiar with sparked in her eyes. “Plus, she already knows I spent time with Clark the other day and she knows he’s something other.”

 “How on Earth did she find out about that?” Wesley said in surprise.

 Clark smirked as Buffy’s smile grew. “I may have pissed Faith off by waking her and Gunn up with a cold shower. She ratted us out.”

 There was silence on the other line, but she swore she could hear him shaking his head. “Do I even want to know?”

 “Probably not.” She said chuckling and then sighed. “I’m feeling a little better now, I mean as far as the compulsion stuff goes.”

 “Hmm,” Wesley hummed. “Perhaps it gets worse when you’re apart. I knew that you would feel a need to be around each other, but perhaps being away from one another has an even greater affect than I imagined. How about you Mr. Kent, how do you feel?”

 Clark blinked in surprise. Now that Buffy mentioned it, he was feeling less uncomfortable than he had all morning. “Better, actually. It’s still there, but not as potent.”

 “Then perhaps the theory is a sound one,” Wesley said. “However, to be on the safe side I’ll have Willow drop off the pendants she’s making this evening. They should be able to subdue most of the compulsion until you both feel ready to move forward with the bond. I would also recommend spending as little time apart as possible. I believe that the pendants are powerful enough to ward off the worst of it, however if this bond is as powerful as I think it is you very well might override the magics if the compulsion becomes too powerful.” He sighed, “I suggest staying there with Buffy for the time being Mr. Kent.”

 Clark shook his head “That not going to work Mr. Wyndam-Pryce. I need to help out on the farm. While I was away my mom got behind on the payments and if we don’t bring in a decent crop this year my mom could lose it.” He looked at Buffy nervously. “You could stay with us though; we have a guest bedroom.”

 Buffy nodded, “Yeah, yeah, that might be a good idea. I can help you with anything you need, and we can start your training in the afternoons.”

 Wesley cleared his throat, getting both their attention. “I think you’re forgetting the contract, Buffy. He may very well not need to worry about that any longer.”

 Buffy’s eyes widened, “Oh, yeah. I almost forgot. I’ll be right back.”

 Clark watched her run out of the room as Wesley said, “Are you still there Mr. Kent?”

 Clark looked at the phone, “Yes.”

 “Good, I thought I’d go over the numbers for you and see if they’re satisfactory.” Wesley said. “I had thought of paying you as we would a hired mercenary or demon hunter, however since your role in the future will be pivotal to keeping this world intact, I decided you deserved what we would pay any Slayer, it’s only fair after all.”

 “What aren’t you telling us about this prophecy?” Clark said, Wesley’s words telling him the man knew more than was saying.

 He heard the man sigh, “I would prefer not to say at this moment. I already know how Buffy will feel about it, and I believe you both have enough on your plate with the bonding. I’ll tell you both, but she’s not ready to hear it yet.”

 Clark frowned, “I don’t think you give her enough credit.”

 “You may be correct,” Wesley conceded, “But I know she will not be happy about this, even if it’s a good thing. I, at the very least need to prepare myself for Dawn finding out, and she may very well tell Buffy even if I ask her not too. I do not believe either of you have long to wait.”

 “Alright,” Clark said, “I’m going to hold you to that though.”

 “Now,” Wesley said, just as Buffy walked back in the room. “How does two hundred-thousand a year sound?

 Clark blinked in surprise, the blood rushing to his head. He couldn’t have possibly heard that right, could he? “I’m sorry did you…did you just say two hundred-thousand?”

 “Clark are you okay?” Buffy asked, running to his side. “You look a little pale.”

 He shook his head, “It’s…that’s too much.”

 “No,” Buffy disagreed, shaking her head. “It really isn’t. Entering this world Clark… you’ll be putting not only your home but your mom at risk and no amount of money will ever make up for that.” She bit her lip and nodded, “Trust me on this, most demons aren’t stupid enough to mess with the good guy’s families, but the real big-bads, the uber-powerful demons, who’s only goal is destruction and world domination? Those demons won’t care, they’ll do everything in their power to try and hurt you, even if that means trying to break you.” She sighed, “It’s why I want your mom to have access to this place too. It will make me feel better knowing you can get her to safety if you needed to.”

 Clark sighed, reaching out and sliding the small stack of paper out of her hand. “And what happens if I sign these and change my mind?”

 Wesley spoke up, “You are not beholden to anything Mr. Kent, if you sign those and decide that helping the Watchers Council is not in your best interest, it would simply be like you quitting a job. You wouldn’t be paid anymore of course, but you would not be obligated to continue helping us either. However, with the bond beginning to form I’m not sure how you would be able to distance yourself from the Council or Buffy, but if you made that decision no one would stand in your way.”

 Clark pulled out a chair and sat down, his eyes quickly reading it through. It was pretty standard stuff, nothing in it that had some sort of hidden agenda. He flipped the page and read through the rest before getting to the signature line.

 “Do you have a pen?” He asked, looking at Buffy.

 She went to a small drawer and pulled it open, grabbing one from inside and handing it over. Clark took the pen signing his name on the dotted line. “Okay Mr. Wyndam-Pryce, I signed it.”

 “Very good.” Wesley said, “Now, I don’t suppose you’re up for giving him a tour of the underground facilities?”

 “Of course.” Buffy said.

 “Very well,” he said. “I’ll call you before Willow leaves, in the meantime try and keep your wits about you.”

 The line disconnected and Clark raised his eyebrows in curiosity. “Underground facility?”

 ****<S>**<S>****

Buffy slid open the hidden panel in the wall of the master bedroom. She entered a number into the keypad and then looked up into a camera where it scanned her face, and slid her keycard into the slot. 

 The computer’s AI came online and a female voice said, "Good afternoon Miss Summers, what can I do for you this afternoon?"

 "I need to give a new recruit security clearance."

 "Name?" The computer asked, as Buffy removed her keycard and slid in the blank one Willow had left for them.

 Buffy nodded at Clark and stepped away from the panel so he could stand in front of it.

 "Clark Joseph Kent," he answered, stepping into the space Buffy had just vacated.

 "Facial recognition." The computer said, and Buffy pointed up to the camera, indicating he needed to look into it. 

 Once that was done the computer said, "Four-digit pin."

 Buffy looked at Clark and nodded, "Now choose four numbers you'll remember easily."

 She watched as he thought about it a second before he put in his code. Once that was finished the computer said, "Thank you Mr. Kent, you now have full access to the Watcher Archives as well as all facilities. Ms. Summers would you like access into the rest of the building?"

 "Yes," Buffy answered before the hidden wall shifted, sliding away and revealing the steel doors of an elevator that would take them down into the heart of the house. The doors slid open and Buffy removed the new keycard handing it to Clark as they stepped into the elevator, Buffy pressing the simple down-arrow button.

 “We had these built in all the safehouses after what happened with Angelus.” Buffy said as way of explanation. “Or I should say, Wes and Willow did. I wasn’t really around for that.”

 It didn’t take long for the elevator to reach its destination and the doors slid open. She could feel Clark’s eyes on her as she stepped out of the elevator and into the large steel control room. There were several monitors on the walls with keyboards on a stainless steel counter top that bolted into the walls along half the room.

 “This is the control room.” Buffy said, “For safety reasons, if we’re ever in any code-red type situation, this room is always occupied in case someone manages to get past the outer wards. We can house up to thirty bodies here at a time and since most of us are a little something-other, we can at least hold off whoever’s broken in to give the rest of us a fighting chance to escape by sounding the alarm.”

 She knew she was rambling, but she couldn’t look at him right then. It was just occurring to her all that she admitted to Wesley and what she’d said in front of Clark. He was going to ask about Spike, she could almost feel it. Of all the things Wesley could have brought up, it had to be claiming. She felt Clark move closer, and wasn’t surprised when she felt him place his hand on her shoulder as she rambled on about where the exits were located.

 “Buffy?” He whispered.

 She sighed and looked down, “Yeah?”

 “Why…why don’t you ever talk about him?” Clark asked.

 Her shoulders slumped at his words, but she still couldn’t bring herself to turn around and look at him. “It’s…it’s complicated.”

 “Well then, I think you should try to uncomplicate it for me, because this thing sounds pretty permanent between us and I need to know if I’m going to be living in another man’s shadow.” He said honestly.

 She spun around, her eyes meeting his in surprise. “God, no. It’s not like that at all. We were…” She sighed. “Maybe we should go into another room that’s more comfortable. This is a long story.”

 Clark nodded at her and she turned, leading him through the heavy metal door to their left and down a hallway the AI illuminating the rooms as it monitored their approach. Buffy led him into a large rec room, a massive tv mounted to one wall with a standard sized couch in front. There was a card table in a corner and a pool table in another. A few pinball machines lined one wall of the room and a dartboard hung near a foosball table. She led him over to the couch, gesturing for him to sit before she wrapped her arms around herself protectively. She waited for him to sit down first, and sat at the other end biting her lip in thought, staring straight ahead into the black void of the blank tv screen, not sure exactly where to start. She figured the beginning was probably best, so she started there.

 “When I met Spike,” she said slowly. “He was just about as evil as they come, or at least that’s what my sixteen-year-old-self thought. Though, I hadn’t had the pleasure of meeting Angelus yet, so I was a bit naive in that department. Anyway, his girlfriend-slash-sire had been weakened in Prague at some point and he came to Sunnydale to try and restore her and bag himself another Slayer.” She shrugged, “So, we pretty much started out as mortal enemies. We fought each other a lot that first half of the year, and he was a hell of a fighter. He almost got me on that first one, but incredibly enough my mom was the one who saved the day.” Buffy smiled in amusement. “Clocked him on the back of the head with an axe.”

 Clark snorted in amusement. “Sounds like something my mom would do.”

 Buffy smiled, “Yeah my mom could be pretty tough.” She shrugged, “Anyway, I ended up putting him in a wheelchair after dropping an organ on him during a spell that actually did end up restoring Drucilla. On my birthday I found out they were both still alive and Dru was reassembling an ancient demon called the Judge who couldn’t be killed by any man-made weapon. Me and Angel tried to stop it from happening, but we were both too late. That night I made the colossal decision of losing my virginity to Angel.” She looked at him out of the corner of her eye and sighed, “And just like that his soul was gone. Maybe that’s why I clung on to the notion that we were somehow destined for so long. I mean, the breaking of Angel’s curse literally states that only a moment of perfect happiness could release the soul. I guess I thought that if our love was enough to drive his soul away, it must be special.” She rolled her eyes at herself. “Honestly, knowing Angel it had more to do with him somehow feeling redeemed in me or it very well could have been that he hadn’t dipped his wick in over a hundred years. Whatever the cause, so began several horrible months of mental torment from a demon wearing my lover’s face.”

 “And Spike?” Clark asked.

 Buffy sighed, “Spike went through his own torment at the hands of Angelus and Drusilla. Spike really did love her, but her love compared to his was fleeting at best. He told me once how they would mock him for being wheelchair bound and Angelus would…well, he would fuck Dru right in front of Spike because he knew how much it hurt him. I think that’s when whatever destiny Spike had must have started. He came to me and made a truce in the hopes of getting Angelus away from Dru and also according to him, he actually liked the world and didn’t want to see it destroyed like they were planning.” She sighed again, “Anyway, that’s probably the first instance where I started to see Spike in a somewhat different light. Less of a danger and more of a nuisance if that makes sense.”

 “Yeah,” Clark nodded. “I guess I could see that.”

 “Okay, so skip ahead a few years, when I’m in my first year of college. I’ve seen Spike once in that time when he kidnapped Willow and Xander, trying to make Willow preform a love spell to get Dru back. Apparently, our little truce didn’t sit well with her and she dumped him.” Buffy shrugged, “We had one more real fight where we were actually trying to kill each other that year, and then a few months later the Initiative planted the chip in his head and then once again he came to us for asylum.” A small smile tugged at her lips, “We fought like cats and dogs that whole year. I think our bickering is partly what drove Giles to drinking so much. Then sometime during the next year when Dawn arrived and my mom got sick, he realized he was in love with me.” Buffy sighed. “It wasn’t a healthy love though, not even a little bit. He was obsessed with me. He had a weird shrine to me and he had, the super nerd Warren make a lifelike robot of me for reasons I’m sure you can guess.”

 Clark grimaced before saying, “Is that the same Warren that–”

 “The one and the same.” She interrupted. “I’ve dealt with some pretty gross demons before, but as far as Warren goes, he’s probably the worst human I’ve ever had to deal with.” Buffy sighed, “Anyway, as weird as Spike’s obsession with me was, he did some things that year that really surprised me. Things that normal vampires wouldn’t do, though I still to this day haven’t decided if Spike was the unique one or if Angelus was, because I know for a fact Spike isn’t the first vampire to keep a portion of his humanity after being turned.” She shook her head getting back on topic, “Anyway, he protected my sister’s secret when Glory tortured him for information and he promised to protect Dawn until the end of the world. When I came back the next year, I didn’t really acknowledge it at the time, but he was still there. Still looking out for my baby sister. It’s strange how you don’t see those things when they happen, but Spike loved Dawn like a little sister and he loved my mom too. For some reason he was drawn to us Summers women.” She sighed and looked at Clark. “I already told you when I came back, I went to a dark place.”

 Clark nodded, his eyes studying her face. “You have.”

 “I went to that dark place with Spike, I didn’t… when I came back, I was numb and I didn’t know it at the time, but my Slayer had gotten stronger. Part of me hated my friends, I was furious with them for bringing me back and expecting me to be happy about it.” She swallowed, “Spike became my confidant at first, he became my quiet solace. I could sit with him and just be… he didn’t…he didn’t expect me to just be okay like everyone else. I was the one who made the first move…we were under a spell at the time but that didn’t stop me from making a second move after it was broken. One night not long after our second make out session, after my Watcher decided I needed to learn to do things on my own and left, we got into an argument about the kiss and I hit him,” she frowned bitterly, rolling her eyes. “He retaliated and must have realized his chip didn’t fire. The next day, well he started a real fight with me. The first one we had since…well since our brawl before the chip.” Buffy could feel her cheeks heat up at the memory, “It was the first time I felt alive since my resurrection and one thing led to another and we…well we weren’t fighting anymore. At least not with fists. It was the first time I didn’t have to hold back and it was exhilarating.” She looked at her hands, “And the next day I told him how disgusting we were, and I was cruel and awful to him.” She shook her head. “I’m not saying that he didn’t give as good as he got, but I was always the one saying the cruel stuff first. I was awful to him Clark; I beat him once and left him for the sunrise. He was trying to help me…well, I thought I accidentally killed someone.” She pursed her lips, even the memory of Warren now days could send her into a rage. “I hadn’t, Warren once again was trying to fuck with my life, but both of us thought I did. He didn’t understand why I had to turn myself in, how much even thought of hurting someone innocent was killing me. I…I just snapped. I honestly don’t know how he managed to make it to safety on time.”

 She didn’t realize she was crying until she felt Clark’s arms come around her. “He still had bruises a week later and vampires, they heal fast.” She sniffled. “Shortly after that my ex-Riley came to town and somewhat reminded me why being with a soulless vampire was a bad thing. I realized that what we were doing…we had to stop. I was using him and it wasn’t fair to either of us, so I broke things off.” Buffy shook her head, “It was hard, because I really did still want him, but I resisted. Some things happened, over the next month or two, my friends ended up finding out about us and one night, he showed up at my house. I was pretty banged up from a fight earlier that evening and he tried to…I’m not even sure he knew what he was doing…but he tried to rape me.” Buffy said quietly, she felt Clark’s arms stiffen around her, this was the judgment she’d been waiting for. “I kicked him off, and he was shocked at himself and then I said, ask me again how I could ever love you?”

 She looked at Clark then, and she could see the anger swirling in his blue eyes. “That’s why Spike got his soul. He thought it was the only way he could be sure never to hurt me again. He wanted to be the man I deserved. He did it for selfish reasons of course, but the outcome of those reasons? It was worth it in the end, because he’s the reason we don’t still have a Hellmouth in Sunnydale California.”

 Clark shook his head, “I don’t…how can you have feelings for someone after they…even if he didn’t, how could you have not wanted to kill him?”

 Buffy shook her head. “Because love isn’t rational, because it can be beautiful or a nightmare, and unfortunately feelings can’t just be flipped on and off. I think if he hadn’t gotten his soul, I would have felt differently, and maybe I eventually would have stopped caring about him. You have to understand though…what he did, it’s never been done before. He fought against his nature and became something incredible for it. I think I would be kinda a hypocrite if I could forgive and still love Angel for what he did to me without a soul, but couldn’t forgive and still have feelings for Spike.”

 “Your ability to forgive, Buffy…I think you might have me beat in that department.” Clark said.

 She shook her head, “I don’t necessarily think that’s true. I don’t think I can ever truly forgive Willow for bringing me back, and you now know what I did to Angelus.” She sighed. “I really do think it depends on the transgression. Willow tore me out of Heaven, she made me immortal, denying me the peace and reward that all Slayers crave. Angelus went after people I love and he tormented and killed my sister Slayers, all of which were young girls, newly called. I know what Wes said, and part of its true, but Spike was just the catalyst, he was not necessarily the cause. It was my hate, my emotions guiding my Slayer, and it wasn’t the first time that part of me wanted to kill Willow nor was it only her that wanted to destroy Angelus for what he had done.”

  “And the claim?” Clark asked.

 Buffy sighed, “It was something that was swirling around my head for a while, and at first it was absolutely a hundred percent my Slayer. But by the time I started seriously considering it, that was definitely all me.”

 Clark looked away, “You wanted to bind yourself to him for eternity.”

 She was silent at his words; she knew what he was thinking and he was wrong. She remembered very clearly why she wanted to do it. “It…I really did want to win, Clark. I know you’re thinking I must have been head over heels in love, but… I loved Spike, I did and I still do, but not…It was the type of love you hold for your best friend, for the person who gets you more than anyone else. I’m not saying it wasn’t romantic in nature either, but it was a love that formed over time. There was no cupid moment. I knew we were compatible sexually; I knew he would never leave me, and I knew it would make us stronger. Claims, they don’t even require love to be fulfilled, just a mutual respect for one another and I knew we could make it work.”

 Clark sighed, leaning his head against the back of the couch. “Why didn’t you then?”

 “Fear,” Buffy said simply. “Fear of the unknown, fear that he would say no, and fear that he would say yes.”

 She watched Clark swallow. “And you want to do the same to me?”

 Buffy blushed. “I-I don’t know. Yes, I think so…” She was silent for a moment. Did she want to claim Clark? Her Slayer seemed to think so, but was that the prophecy or an actual want. She certainly didn’t want to lead him on, so she said “But I think it’s something that could happen in the heat of the moment.” She could literally feel her face heating up even more. “Just, if…if I ever bite you when we…and say ‘Mine’, don’t answer unless you’re willing to do the same.”

 “I’m assuming when you say bite, you mean breaking skin.” He said raising an eyebrow.

 “I do.” She admitted. “That’s basically what a claim is, it’s a symbolic ritual of sharing one’s life force, blood, saliva, semen. The mixing of your essence with another to create two halves of a whole.”

 A slow amused smile broke across his lips. “That actually sounds kind of beautiful, if not a little messy.”

 Buffy snorted, her own amusement growing at his analogy. “Anything else you want to know, before we continue our tour?”

 His eyes slowly gave her a once over, before he shook his head. “No, I think that was more than enough for today.” He looked down, “It’s hard for me to picture you like that, being cruel I mean. Not when…not when you’ve been so nice to me. I don’t think I’ll ever truly understand anything you told me about him and you, and…and if I’m being honest, I can’t help feeling…” He looked at her seriously, his mouth set in a firm line. “Let’s just hope he doesn’t come back from the dead again, because I can’t promise I will be very nice.”

 She found herself giggling at the visual. Dear God, that would be funny, especially with how quiet and reserved Clark was. Spike would drive him up the wall. “Oh, trust me neither will he, even with the soul he had the ability to drive just about anyone mad with rage.”

 “Well, then it’s probably a good thing he’s not around anymore. I don’t think I’d like to be responsible for killing someone you cared about.” Clark said seriously.

 Buffy rolled her eyes; he might be from another planet but he was definitely a hundred percent male. “Yes, Clark, lucky for you, you only have one of my ex’s left to contend with and he’s married.” She pushed herself away from him, grabbing his hand as she did and pulling him to his feet as she stood. “Now, come on, I’ll show you the training room.”

[thewheezingwyvern]

Dark Content

tw:Death, tw:COVID, tw:PTSD, tw:Medical talk, tw:rape mention 

It took me longer than it really should have to sit down and type this up. I don’t know if this is going to help but I hope that it helps some of you understand and to calm down when you get up in arms about dark content. 

As some of you know I’m a smut writer here. Most of what I share here now is smut. However if you were to take those pieces and assume my sexual activity about me you would be very, very wrong. I am on the asexual spectrum and my husband and I have never had penetrative sex. It’s not for me. Hell most times in general I find sex to be gross and repulsive. And yet there seems to be this mindset here that if I write it, it must mean I want it. I’m not even really a dark content writer, and yet I still see that. Why?

I think some of you really need to grasp the concept that just because we have stuff that we enjoy writing and reading does not mean we enjoy it in real life or support it in real life.

Fiction is a safe space for us to explore things. Not just writers but readers as well. I can enjoy exploring dynamics but that doesn’t mean that it’s something I would want in my real life. Take for example....I had the chance once to write a fic (not here) with a religious cult environment. It was super toxic and dangerous and that was part of the intrigue. It raised the stakes and honestly the dynamic was fun to explore. But I would in no way, shape or form want to be in that environment myself.

Not only can writing this stuff be a way to explore things safely, it can also be a way to process and help handle traumas and stresses. My fic Biohazard, is focused around the pandemic and some of the uglier sides of the medical field in addition to a romance/sex plot. And I literally write it because I am a responder knee deep in the trenches of this fucking pandemic. I decided to share that because while it’s helping me, it might also help others. 

I write things because I want to and because they help me and because I can explore things safely in the sanctum of fiction. But what is safe for me may not be safe for others and that is literally why the warnings and tags exist.

I’m going to be honest: it is incredibly hard not to be angry with a lot of you antis right now. Like a deep primal rage in me that could rival the heat of the sun. We are living in a time of a global crisis with an awful virus. I am watching in real time so many people DIE from this pandemic and die alone. Our entire medical system is being taxed to the fucking brink and we have a thousand and one problems that need to be fixed. A thousand and one hurtles to champion for and what do you pick?

Two D fucking lines. 

With all the time and energy some of you sink into this, you could actually address real world problems that are actively happening right now. But the fact is...most of you don’t want to actually “fix” anything. You want to destroy other people to elevate yourself and you pick an outlet that makes you have the “moral high ground” so to speak.

And I am so goddamn tired of it. 

Like I’m not saying you have to LIKE the content. Or even approve. But you literally don’t know anything about that person other than what they write out and believe it or not, fanfiction of any sort is not some kind of manifesto that authors put out on what we want in real life. It’s not a check list. It’s ok to not like the content. Just keep moving on with your life. Block the tag, filter it out and keep scrolling.

I don’t really talk about my experiences on here because one it’s a very personal thing and two a lot of what I see? It’s not something the average person can just hear casually. But I can tell you now in my line of work not only do I see grisly things, bloody things, violent things but I’ve also seen the effects of abuse on people. I have seen first fucking hand the look on someone’s face when they realized “someone just tried to kill me” or “that person nearly raped me”. 

You want to champion victims? Then go actively donate and support organizations or are supposed to actually help those survivors, not harass anonymous strangers over the internet that you make assumptions about without even knowing them based on their content. You want to make a change? Then go find ways to help the organizations that are dedicated to helping those people instead of directing that on fanfiction.

[myimmortalisimmortal]

Why Chapter 39 of My Immortal was due to an actual hacker

After considering some findings, I’m confident in this theory. And thus, I’m confident anyone who claims to be Tara Gilesbie while claiming the hacked chapter was faked is not being honest. Below I will explain why I believe so and how I came across this information in the first place.

All this was from a long chain of breadcrumbs. Let’s go back... all to the mid 2000s in the LiveJournal days when Tara Gilesbie had a dedicated fan club.

The Tara Gilesbie Fan Club

One thing that particularly stuck out was members mentioning finding Tara through IMDb. Yes, you heard right.

[ID: Two comments on the Tara Gilesbie Fan Club LiveJournal.

The first is from ‘golden_helikaon’ on 2008-01-19 writing, “I found it on the Order of the Phoenix IMDb board. There were several long threads dedicated to ripping her apart with every new chapter.”

The second comment is from ‘heartdreamerz’ on 2008-01-20 writing, “It was almost 2 years ago and I've told this story many times. I knew Tara a month before My Immortal was published. It was on IMDb's board for My Chemical Romance. When the story came out I knew about it but didn't pay attention because I wasn't into HP at the moment. Then, like icarus_malfoy wrote, there were the threads about her and that's when my interest started. There were also another troll on the His Dark Materials...” (Image cuts off.) End ID.]

According to this, Tara Gilesbie was already tyrannizing the internet before she posted My Immortal. This actually is very consistent with the fact “Tara Gliesbie is totlly Gottik” was a petition that existed in November 2005. (My Immortal was posted in March 2006.)

This IMDb profile seemed very intriguing. It hasn’t been mentioned much, and isn’t considered to be official by most people. Was it a legitimate account? If so, was there gothicness we were deprived of all along? I searched to try find out more about it, hoping screen captures or something would turn up. Luckily, one of the same members copied and pasted Tara’s bio in another comment.

[ID: A comment on the Tara Gilesbie Fan Club LiveJournal by ‘heartdreamerz’ on 2007-05-05 writing, “All her posts are deleted now. I can still visit her profile because she's on my friend list. Her bio:

‘hi im tara. im a goth (n prode!). i have died blak hair n blu eyez. i wer eyeliner a lot of da time. i hav a bf. his naym is justin. he rox! i liv in Dubia.

likz: eyliner, goffik makep, beng goffik, GOOD CHRALOTTE, death, sleting my rists, drak colorz, hot topik _

dizliks: beng alive, bo, pop music, brite colors, pink, brabie, hiraly doof da music i lik: linen prak, GOOD CHRELOTE, evinezenz, simpl plan, akon, arvil levine, blink-183, panik! at da disko, foll oot boi, mcr. HIRALY DOOF IS A PSR!

fav moviez: when a stranger kallz, da grudge, da grudge 2, korps bird, da nitemare b4 krismas, da ring 2, da ring, shrak attak, undreworld 2, da texas chonsow massakre da bogenning

ps 2 all da prepz nd pozers tryin 2 diz me u r jus jeloz!!!! so yolsentik nd hartdremer u kan go fok ur momz 4 al i ker ok U SUK!!!111′

I feel so special to be personally insulted by her on her profile.” End ID.]

People like to copy & paste things stupid things to laugh at all the time (no offense Tara), so I thought: why not Google some of the bio? Maybe whoever did that posted additional stuff.

And it worked! (I found more content from Tara’s supposed IMDb, but more on that for a different post.)

When searching the bio, a Reddit thread about Rose Christo popped up.

During Rose Christo’s brief reign, a user said Rose’s claims seemed to check out. This user actually happens to be the same commenter, Heartdreamerz, in the LiveJournal thread. (Which makes sense, considering she’s the one who originally had the bio I was searching.) 

If you don’t feel like clicking the Reddit link, basically she confirmed Rose’s claim that two Filipino users from the forums hacked the account.

Because of Heartdreamerz’ long involvement in My Immortal and the fact she never claimed to be Tara or Raven, I take a lot of trust in her word.

Heartdreamerz linked the FF.net profile of the original hacker: Coruscate Corruption.

Looking up “Coruscate Corruption” had me come across this from the LiveJournal fan club, which implies that there were two hackers.

[ID: post on the Tara Gilesbie Fan Club Livejournal by 'nicespice' on Dec. 28th, 2006, writing, “Just a little thing I drabbled down. Hope it's not too horrible. What do you think?

There is an evil on FF.net and All who encounters it feels their Respiratory system give out And become too scared to scream. Gruesome, it is. The anti-christ fanfiction, My Immortal, written by a total idiot. Does she Leave you to cry tears of blood, because I have before. EarnestInBerlin and Coruscate Corruption, the hackers, Sought to bring My Immortal redemption. Too Bad the real Tara had to come back so soon to ruin the fun. I wish she had at least continued her story, I look at her fic Everytime I go online, wishing she'd just update so I could laugh at... Tara Gilesbie." End ID.]

While searching “Coruscate Corruption”, a few posts popped up from a forum for The Bartimaeus Sequence called Bartiforums.

[ID: Two images showing 3 forum posts by Mwamba.

The first post was a reply to, "Mwamba, how did you crack both passys? Just guessing or what?"

On December 8th 2006, Mwamba replied, "Tara's was just pure luck. It didn't take long to get. The password was tara. *snorts* Post's was just guessing too, but I remembered when his passy was cracked on here, so I tried out the same password. It worked. Oh yeah, and I wrote a fanfic for Post, it's a rip off of Tara's story, but meh.”

The last two posts were made on January 14th, 2007. The second post wrote, "It was me. I had complete control for two days. And then EarnestInBerlin had to hack in too and change the password. But then she told what it was and then the real Tara had to come back and rechange her passy so nobody could get in. But that's old news. That account is most certainly not mine. I could not continue that fic for 39 chapters, I'd get bored after the first fifteen.”

The third post wrote, “*Shrug* It doesn't matter. Call me whatever. Though if I have to pick, I suppose you can call me by my FF.net name, Coruscate Corruption. What book category are you writing this fic in? Just curious.” End ID.]

Chapter 39 was posted late November 2006, so that first post was only a few weeks after it happened.

The password was “tara”... does that ring a bell at all?

[ID: A screencap from Rose Christo’s now-deleted blog. It says, “And My Immortal? You can come to your own conclusions. This was really never about the fic; it was the marketing team at SMP that decided to make My Immortal the main part of the story. Our email address was gofikchick@hotmail.com and our password was tara.” End ID.]

-- Rose Christo’s claim before deleting

 You may be asking, “Rose Christo? The woman who lied about her family, being Native American, and writing My Immortal to sell a book?” Yes, that Rose Christo. Yes, she was a fraud and a scammer, but she peppered in some little-known true details to make her claim seem more legit. For instance, she talked about a Voldemort rper in the reviews, and that ended up being true. You can actually find this Voldemort reviewer in the web archives of Raven’s stories. (Apparently, that Voldemort even came out and said “hey, that’s me!” Cannot find it unfortunately.)

Keep in mind the only way I found any of this was because Rose Christo made that claim. Without it, Heartdreamerz wouldn’t have made that post that led to Coruscate Corruption and those posts on Bartiforums. It’s possible Rose somehow came across the same information I did, but it’s more likely she was there. Rose Christo may not be the author of My Immortal, but it was likely she was a spectator as it all went down. (As I was a spectator for Rose’s ordeal when it all went down.)

 Since it was said the hackers posted on the fanfiction forums, I sought to find it by searching “Tara”, “My Immortal”, etc. on FFnet’s search. The posts are unfortunately long gone, but there is a surviving forum called “My Immortal Forum Tara Gilesbie is a genius!”

[ID: A screencap of “My Immortal Forum Tara Gilesbie is a genius!” from Fanfiction net. Someone named Ebony Dark’ness wrote, “I have personally logged on to Tara’s account when her password was revealed after she got hacked.” End ID.]

TL;DR: Multiple, separate people made consistent claims over the span of years. Because of this, I personally believe Tara’s account was legitimately hacked.

(Sources/links will be added in a reblog.)

[lorei-writes]

How To: Comments

A brief guide to commenting under the fics by Lorei.

As some of you may know, I am a court overthinker. I know that human interactions can be scary - and honestly, sometimes so is commenting. However... I wish that anxiety did not stand in way of interactions between readers and the author. So, to cut this introduction short: from me, an anxious writer-overthinker, to you, any person who may need it.

Contents:

Few general truths.

Do’s.

Don’ts. 

All things I will talk about stem from my personal experience and observations. It may vary to some extent between writers, although I did my best to stick to the general trends and to mark where something is more of my personal opinion.

EDIT: As per usual, this is just the general “this will be most likely okay”. If you are doing things differently and it works out for you - great! No need to change that. This was written with people who may be anxious and/or overthinking the matter in particular. I also tried to remove myself from this as much as possible.

Few general truths.

Does my comment even matter?

Yes, it does, especially for longer series. It may be one of the few things pulling the writer through a crisis. 

Your comment notifies the writer that they are indeed seen, that their words reached somebody. If the story resonated with you in any way, letting the writer know that it did may boost their self-confidence, and perhaps even motivate them to keep on writing. 

The writer didn’t reply to my comment. Did I do something wrong?

No! In plenty cases, the writer may not know how to reply, simply as that. They may not have enough time, they may be too tired - just the ordinary, mundane life stuff can cause such a thing too. 

An important thing to remember here is that they still appreciate it, even if they don’t have enough resources to reply to every single person - or even any of them.

How do I know the writer even welcomes comments?

Unless it is specified they do not want comments (or a certain type of comments), assume those are always welcome. 

Do’s

Good will and courage is one thing, but... What could a comment even include?What things are appropriate? Ahhh, no, this is too hard...!

*catches your hand and pulls you back* No, no, no, don’t run, I’ve got you covered! 

First, remember that it is way more likely that what you want to say is okay than for it to be inappropriate. Worst case scenario, the writer will tell you that well, you missed the mark - but! Then you will have the knowledge on what to avoid doing. Your potential to cause plenty good is still way greater than that to cause harm. Not only that! You can apologize! We are humans. We all make errors. Never doing a thing in fear of messing up never leads anywhere. 

So, what things are generally okay*?

If the story made you feel something, say so! For example:  “This made me feel happy!” “I smiled too much because of this story!” “I’m crying, nooo.” “This is so sad!” “My heart has melted.” “This made my day!” “I love it!”

If you can’t find words for your state, emojis work too!  For example:   😭 ❤️ ❤️ 😳 💖 🥺 🥺 🥺 😍 💯✨

Of course, mixing up emojis with text is a great idea! The only thing you may want to be mindful of is that screen-readers do interpret emojis too - so you perhaps want to avoid emoji-[word]-emoji combinations (which overall, applies to the internet in general, btw). 

The story made you think about something? Elaborate! The tricky part here is that yes, you are sharing your thoughts, but you should also tell the writer something nice about their work. The rule of thumb seems to be that it is the story that is in the spotlight, not your experience - or, in other words, you are speaking of the experience in relation to the work, not the work in relation to the experience. For example: “I love your OC, they are so relatable! I don’t think I have ever seen a character which spoke to me so much. I struggle with XYZ too, so I’m feeling for them, I know it’s hard :(” “AAAAAA. The theme of red string reminds me a little of a certain superstition. Some people here think red bows are a good-luck charms. This is wonderful, I love it. 😭💖”

Now, this may seem a little self-centered. Allow me to explain why I insist the story is kept in the spotlight.  Imagine that you’ve spent your time on writing a story, however much of it. Let’s assume it’s about missing a long-deceased pet. Then, you get this comment:

“Nooo, this is so sad, I used to have a dog like that too 😭 His name was Teddy and we were best friends. We’d oftentimes sit together and sometimes I’d throw him a stick. Whenever I would cry, he’d come snuggle up with me, and he wouldn’t leave me until HOURS after I’ve calmed down. I miss him so much, I wish dogs could live forever 😭 “

Now, this makes the situation uncomfortable. You must remember that well, sometimes you may still be almost complete strangers to one another, and this much information puts a great emotional load on the writer. Is it still the writer’s space after such comment, or...? Yeah. It is a bit of a lapse in regards to well, knowing a person.

You are simply thankful and don’t know what to say? Express gratitude!  For example: “Thanks for writing <3 “ “I really needed to read this story.” “Thank you!”

Other things which generally are okay to include:

key smashes (as part of the comment, so that the author knows what you mean) For example:  “I’m wheezing ghesgeskgess” “ghoeigjeshes THANK YOU”

quoting the part of the work you especially liked + adding emoji at the end/commenting something under it

listing the things you enjoyed about the work

Of course, you can do some of those, you can do all of those, you can do just one - whichever suits you!

Don’ts

Okay, we know what is going to be fine. Now, what things to avoid? 

Do not give critique unless the writer clearly asked for it.

Critique must be consensual. Unsolicited advice is not. Sure, your intention may be good, but it leads to backhanded compliments and nobody likes those.

Example of what not to do:

“I enjoyed it, tho it was rater boring at first and it took me several tries to even get to the half of it.  Like, some things were confusing? [Explanation].  Overall, yeah, hard to understand and boring at first, but I liked it.”

Now you may ask - is the writer exempt from feedback?! And the answer is... Yes, honestly, yes. Unless they ask for it, yes. As long as they don’t hurt anybody - yes. Although then I suggest blocking instead of going on a crusade. 

FanFiction isn’t the same as published books. We don’t get paid for it. It is simply an act of sharing what you enjoy with the world, like a sort of perpetuum-mobile. FanFiction propels the reader, the reader comments and thus puts the writer in motion.

Now, you can say that something made you sad. You can say that something made you angry, or that it wasn’t what you were expecting. BUT. Make sure you aren’t demanding the writer changes those things. 

This stretches also to typos, grammar errors, etc. - unless you are absolutely sure the writer asks for this sort of feedback, assume it is unwelcome.

Also, from my personal experience: it happened to me once. I did not know what to reply and went on with my standard apologetic... Ekhem. I regret it. The person who commented knew less about the issue than I did.

EDIT: There is also another reason for this - most often, if a person wants to get feedback, they look for a beta-reader. Beta-reader is a person who reads the work before it is posted. Generally, they point out errors and inaccuracies. However, for it to work well, you need a certain sort of fit, both in how the message is delivered (some people do well with harsher criticism, some need to be more gentle with them), in the writing style, and so on. Another thing when looking for a beta-reader is that, well, you generally look for a person that knows more than you do, or is at a similar level. This isn’t to say that we know more than every single person out there - only that it’s hard to ascertain it at first glance and it’s generally better to talk about it before any critique is delivered. Communication is the key.

Do not ask when the next part will be posted/when your request will be completed unless you are sure the writer is okay with such questions. 

When this happens, many writers feel as if they were being pressured into working harder.

Do not write fleshed out paragraphs of what you think should have happened.

If you have an idea for a story - write it. Again, we write in our free time and do it for fun. This feels like being pressured or told what to do.

What may be more grey in regards to whether it is okay or not is theorising about what happens next. To me, personally, that would be okay, but you may want to ask your writer whether they are okay with this sort of things - for example, by writing a comment with a short theory and then asking whether it’s okay to do so? However, be mindful not to tap into suggesting or putting too much pressure on what must happen.

Do not write “Imagine that... [fleshed out scenario]” type comments.

Those are basically requests hidden as comments.

Do not compare writers to other writers (You are so much better than XYZ/ You wrote trope X so much better than XYZ).

This is pretty self-explanatory. We want to lift each other up, not feel better about ourselves because of putting others down.

Another slippery situation here: some people may mind being compared to published authors. Some may not. It is hard to tell, there is no strict rule here.

Hmm... I think it’s about it? ^^” I hope it was helpful ^^” Overall, if you avoid those major Don’ts, you should be good ^^”

[gildedmuse]

So, at some point this blog might as well have earned the subtitle, "The ZoLaw Headcanon AU Nobody Asked For". In fact, I have a sort of back log of them that I've been meaning to get around to posting, but couldn't be bothered to. Why? Well, because no one actually asked for them.

And I mean, I get why. Are they fanfiction? Are they prompts? Are they summaries of fanfiction that will.never exist? What exactly are you writing here, Mina?

Well, guess what? No one knows. I certainly don't. Hell, in most cases I'm at least going off an idea I've discussed with strangers on the internet. For most of these, I'm just spitballing. We're taking this journey together. We're both equally informed as to where it's going and how I'll get there.

Setting Note: This AU comes with certain truths that you are going to have to accept. Like the idea that in this universe Kendo is a sport with the same popularity of, say, Hockey or Basketball. It can be played single or doubles, and the world championship is a Big Fucking Deal with the public following lead in months before the actual tournament. accept these truths and things will be easier for both of us.

Kendo Rivals/Teammates Law & Zoro :

Law and Zoro are competing in a Kendo tournament - not yet the world championship, but in order to secure a spot in said competition. In this particular fight there is something extra on the line: both kenshi are being scouted, with the winner potentially earning the privilege of studying under games international champion Silvers Rayleigh. Due to the fame of many in the sport, and because Rayleigh hates the way egos and popularity interfer with the matches, the seeds have been kept anonymous. All competitors have been instructed to keep their full gear - including face coverings - on for the duration the the entire of the tournament, until the last match has concluded.

Rayleigh is not necessarily surprised that the press reacts to this by going into full gossip mode, ànd already had plans in place to shut them out of the matches with the acception of a few lone camera crews should they behave in such a predictable but childish fashion. What he hadn't predicted is just how all out certain competitors would go when the press isn't there to actively analysis their every move.

The final two kenshi in particular strike at each other hard and fast, driven on more by some invisible force of will more than even skill or tactics, though both have shown plenty of both throughout their other matches. There is talk from the referees of calling a draw when one of the kenshi makes the smallest error; only Rayleigh mad his opponent seem to even notice the misstep, but that's all the second competitor needs to score the winning hit.

It's only at the end of the match when the masks are removed that Law - still breathless and berating himself for such a stupid error - comes face to face with the realizion that he just lost to that obnoxious, ill-mannered, tactless KID. The one with the offensively green hair. The one apparently Dracule Mihawk came out of retirement to train. He fights like a beast, but obviously immature which makes sense seeing as he's practically still a fucking child. Law has seen him at interviews: He's rude and dismissive and definitely doesn't want to be there.

Meanwhile, Zoro has to accept he just had one of the hardest challenges of his life against pretty boy Trafalgar Law. The older kenshi entered the professional circuit about three years ahead of Zoro, and so he's seen years of press coverage on his opponent - mostly by accident, commentators who confuse idiotic gossip for actual match analysis or simply when he forgets to turn off the TV after watching a match. He knows Trafalgar Law has a reputation in the sport for being a heart stealer, that the press have labeled him one of the Supernovas of the sport, that he earned a reputation as a bad boy for - as far as Zoro can tell - refusing to take humility and openly smirking down camera lens after a particularly showy victory. Which Zoro wouldn't mind, honestly, if the guy didn't seem to enjoy being in front of cameras so much. Now that Zoro simply cannot understand. To be honest, Zoro always assumed he just got this far on his looks fame and family connection. God, imagining losing to such a sexy stuck up jerk.

Just knowing this is the person eho they struggled so hard against leaves both fighters ready to overlook their exhaustion and go another round. And that's before Rayleigh announces they've secured a spot at the world championship...

As a team.

The two make eye contact and immediately agree on one thing and one thing only: this is not going to work.

First of all, Zoro is annoying and rude and has way too many pre-teen girls that follow him around like a damn boy band member. He might as well be since he's always with his best friend, the youngest captain to have won a world cup, Strawhat Football Club's very own Money D. Luffy and his older brother, the actor Portgas D. Ace. It doesn't matter how private the practice is meant to be Mugiwara-ya and Hinken-ya always seem to be there, and wherever those two go there always seems to be a scene.

Then again, at least Zoro doesn't toy with reporters that way Law does. He acts all polite, but his answers are always double sided. He makes more than a few about Zoro before they even begin training together, clearly under the assumption that Zoro is too stupid to get his meaning (just because Zoro says what he means, simple and straight forward instead.of wasting everyone's time trying to figure out what he's talking about). Plus, Law is constantly appearing in the tabloids, usually with some new guy or girl at his side. It's distracting. Not to Zoro - he doesn't care about that kind of stuff - but to some people, and then it becomes a distraction at their practices. He already gets enough of the press and the cameras and intolerable, stupid questions at the matches themselves. Now he has to deal with them every day leaving practice.

Law doesn't understand why Zoro - apathetic, uncultured, idiot kid - is so beloved by so many teenage girls. Law has fans, sure, but at least they seem to know something about kendo and aren't, like, tweleve. There always seem to a gaggle of young girls around the other swordsman (not that he doesn't put on like he doesn't want them there like... Sure, whatever. They follow him like that for a reason and it sure isn't his conversation skills or kind aura), and since this insane partnership now Law has to put up with them as well. Asking questions about Zoro's life like Law has any idea what the boy gets up to outside of practice.

Zoro doesn't understand why Law has to act so superior to him. The way he smirks every time he gets an easy hit on him, or rolls his eyes whenever Rayleigh chooses to asks Zoro a question instead of him. Technically, Zoro beat him at their last real tournament, so why does Law have to go and act like Zoro's some useless kid who doesn't know how to hold a sword let alone use one?

And Law doesn't see how Zoro can possibly be so naive about so much, even if he puts on that mean scowl and tough air. It's clear he had no idea what being one of the Supernovas of this sport entailed, despite the press insisting on labelling him that.

And Zoro doesn't understand why the second the lesson is over Law is just gone. It's not that he wants to spend actual time with Law, but the other boy could stand to act like they're a proper team and a not just some temporary alliance of convenience he is eager to escape from. Zoro always stays around to get in extra training, it'd be nice if he could do it with his partner there as well seeing as he's never played in any matches but singles, and while Zoro is sure he'll be amazing in the doubles, until he's actually earned the title of world's top swordsman he has to keep training.

And Law doesn't see why after every practice Mugiwara-ya has to jump from the stands to grab hold of Zoro no matter how they do. It's annoying, and Law doesn't want to stick around for their little lovefest just so he can congratulate the boy who is too confident as it is (except around girls were he's just embarrassing). Besides, it's so much easier to slip out when he isn't flanked by a fellow supernova, the captain of the current world cup holders, and a goddamn movie star.

And Zoro doesn't get why Law cares about how he looks or the way Zoro acts around the press of a any of that. Zoro certainly doesn't. He's just there for kendo, the rest is just a necessary annoyance he has to pass through.

It isn't until Silvers Rayleigh threatens to drop them out of the tournament himself that either boy is willing to give an inch to the other. They're both use to being in singles, on not relying on anyone else. It's hard to back down from an opponent, even harder to remember that opponent is now your partner.

Being the older of the two, Law decides it's important that he make an offer of peace first. He couldn't stand for Zoro to be the more mature one.

Law: Let me take you on date.

Zoro: *Freezes, half inside his locker, which is good since at least Law can't see him there. He can make any face he needs.* What?

Law: I've seen you with girls. It's horrifying. If we can make it through a double date we can make it through a doubles match. It will seem easy in comparison.

Zoro: *Closing his locker slowly, still lost* Why would I want to come and watch you get all cozy with your girlfriend, Trafalgar?

Law: *Sighs, trying to hold back from rolling his eyes at Zoro's stupidity. This kid is so hopeless* You will bring along your own date, obviously. *Mistaking Zoro's look* The whole point is I'll be there to help.

Zoro: Right. Cause your Dr. Heartstealer. Who better to get relationship tips from.

Law: *Shrugs, neither claiming or disavowing the nickname from the press* Saturday, alright? I'll come pick you up at your dorm so you don't get lost.

Zoro: I don't get lost!

Law: Sure. Just wear something nice, assuming you own anything that isn't work out clothes.

Law: And bring a girl.

Zoro considers not bringing a girl, just to piss Law off. He even think about asking Luffy, but even though Luffy is his best friend in the world, he's not sure he could explain it to him without feeling like an idiot. So he does the next best thing. He calls Ace.

This turns out to be a much better answer than trying to ask Luffy out on a fake date, since Ace helpfully reminds him what Silvers Rayleigh said about getting along or not going to the championship. Ace is right. Zoro would rather swallow his pride and pretend to enjoy the company of Trafalgar Law than lose his chance at that title.

"It's one date, how bad can it be?"

Zoro can imagine it going pretty bad.

For starters, Law shows up at his dorm looking... better than usual, which is saying something (just because Zoro doesn't like the whole act he puts on for the cameras doesn't mean it's all gone entirely unnoticed, especially not how while they both end practice in sports gear and covered in sweat, Law always emeges in some stupidly cool outfit, looking as though he hasn't worked out a day in his life). Immediately, Zoro knows his white tshirt and black pants aren't going to be up to snuff.

Law: Is that a haramaki?

Zoro: It's my best outfit. *It isn't. He just like this haramaki and wanted to wear it, so he did.*

Law: *Already ushering Zoro back into his dorm* If this is a joke, Zoro-ya, if is not a very good one. Did you even listen to what I'm told you?

Zoro: *Crosses arms over his chest and refused to move, forcing Law to practically push him into the small living quarters* No.

"As I expected. Where's your room?"

Zoro doesn't like the idea of having Law in his room at all. Not because it's a mess or because all the posters that might be embarrassing (Mihawk and Rayleigh had both trained him by now, he should probably take those down. At least he's ripped the one of Law off the day he found out they'd be partners.) And not even that one wall is full of messages scribbled by Luffy whenever Zoro was asleep or wasn't there and he had something he wanted to say. They range from "Buy more meat!", to a circled date (talk like a pirate day), to '"I miss you, come home soon", to random names and numbers, to some a little more personal that should probably embarrass Zoro but don't. He loves that stupid wall, regardless of what Law might have to say about it.

No, Zoro just doesn't like the feeling of having a rival turned partner in his personal space, that's probably all there is behind the feeling.

Law enters the room.and immediately heads towards the closet. If anything, he avoids looking around any more than he has too. It's possible the other kenshi has some form of a heart that does understand the idea of empathy, at least, and how awkward it is to.let a rival enter your personal space. Not that Zoro cares what Law might think of whatever he sees there (though with the other boy's back turned and his attention focused on trying to sort through the piles of clothes that passes as a closet, Zoro inches over to his bed, subtly grabbing his stuffed reindeer and hiding it under the pillows. Sorry, Chopper, buddy, it's just why they mean old man is here.)

Two minutes later he gets a shirt (dark green, short sleeved but nice), a button up (long sleeve, white, uncomfortable) and pair of jeans (not his) thrown at him. "These will have to suffice. Hurry and get changed. Being late is rude, and an inability to dress yourself is not an excuse."

Zoro starts to pull off his off his shirt when Law practically snaps, "What are you doing!?"

"... Changing?" Obviously. And Law make him out to be the slow one.

Law face palms, shaking his head. "Not in here! Go to the bathroom!" Zoro doesn't see what the big deal is. They share a locker room. They change in front of one another all the time. Still, holding back his grumbling (trying to remind himself of Ace's advice), he goes to the bathroom to get changed.

When he's done, Zoro's reflection looks miserable and nothing like him. So he messes his hair up some, he rolls up the sleeves. His reflection is still miserable, but now he looks more like miserable version of himself. He supposes that will do. Honestly, he doesn't expect the evening to go better than this anyway.

Law is waiting, leaning against the opposite wall with his eye closed and face set with the expression of someone preparing themselves to be annoyed. When Zoro emerges, Law only bothers cracking open one eye, checking him out from under the brim of that ridiculous hat. They both stand there like that for a while: Zoro getting ready to start a fight if Law tries being sarcastic with him, Law just staring.

Finally, with a sigh, Law pushes himself off the wall, straighten his own outfit. "That'll do." Zoro double checks in his head to find the hidden insult, but since he can't find it, there doesn't seem to be a reason to start a row.

Okay, fine. But he's still uncomfortable.

-💚-

Law's girlfriend is tall and refined, with shoulder length dark hair and olive skin and a smile that Zoro finds immediately suspicious. Zoro's is... Look, he brought Perona, okay? He already knows her (she's the spoiled, obnoxiously cloying daughter of his last instructor) and he doesn't have to worry about her taking it the wrong way. All he has to do is make it through the evening without trying to strangling her.

-🧡-

It's less than five minutes in that Law wants to strangle her.

She's the exact opposite type of girl Law would have thought Zoro would be into. If anything, he suspects she could be one of those very same girls who follows him around, the ones who would rather ignore Law except to ask him if Zoro has a secret girlfriend and what desserts Zoro likes and does Zoro ever just go to sit and think in a cafe somewhere and where would it be and other stupid, private things Law wouldn't even begin to know or care about. Only, if she really were one of his groupies Law feels like she would have stood out, and not in a good way.

She's demanding and rude and pouty with Zoro from the get go, although the second her attention is on Law she becomes much sweeter, just like that. It's almost painful how she's so obviously much more into him than her actual date. She goes as far as to proclaim Law "cute" six different times throughout the meal.

The worst part is Zoro doesn't seem to mind. At all. It bothers Law more than it should. You know, for Zoro's sake.

"Really? I would say Zoro-ya here is much cuter than I am," Law finally reproaches at some point during dessert. Everyone stops eating to check and see if Law hears what he's saying, but in fairness the girl left him with little choice. He'd come here to help Zoro get through a date when, from what he's witnessed, the boy couldn't even get through a conversation with one of his fans without it being a disaster. This pink haired nightmare is making that very difficult for him to pull off. But seeing as she appears interested in Law, maybe she listen to him. He could still save this night if he could turn her attention back towards the boy she is supposedly here to spend time with. "I'm too old to be called cute anymore."

What Law means to do is politely point out how much older he is than her, while also hopefully getting her to take a second look at the boy next to her (who could be, despite all his other flaws, considered cute by some. He still has rounder cheeks and when he does smile, it's bright and young). Judging by the nasty look Zoro gives him while Perona immediately starts to apologize, calling him handsome instead, Law failed miserably.

Luckily, the woman next to him is amazing at taking mistakes and turning them around. "I believe Law meant for that to be a joke about his age. I apologize, he's not always the best at those. Surely, you were simply trying to say they make a cute couple, isn't that right, Law-kun?"

Law looks between the pink hair terror to the apathetic green haired boy at her side. They barely look like a couple, but even if they were, Law isn't sure he'd say they were cute. "Yes, thank you, Robin-chan."

"For what it's worth, kenshi-san, I think you're a very attractive young man. In fact, I'm sure you'd make a cute couple with anyone of us at tis table."

Law quirks an eyebrow at the wording, but before he can return the seemingly sweet remark with his own dry observation - as is their custom - Perona makes a loud objection. "Are you trying to hit on Zoro?"

So that had been Robin's plan! Make the girl jealous so she might reveal her feelings for Zoro. Well done, Nico-san.

"Oh, I apologise. That must have-"

"Ehh, how gross." Perona groans, wrinkling her nose as if about to gag.

Could you have chosen a worse girl to bring, Zoro-ya? Had he even told her it was intended to be a date or did he simply march up to her and demand she show up for dinner, because as of right now she hadn't shown any reason she might have said yes to the first, or even the second for that matter.

Robin is wonderful, of course, even when Zoro is surly and mistrustful and obviously set against liking her. Little by little she prods him out of his shell, asks him about Kendo, about his usual style. He starts to open up to her, stops glaring every time she speaks.

This also annoys Law, but he isn't sure why.

Eventually, Perona throws her arms up in the air. "Well, if you're all going to ignore me, I'm leaving. I only came as a favor to dad, anyway," she declares, sticking her tongue out at Zoro who bites back about no one else being able to stand her long enough to go out with her.

If should be really awkward to watch a couple fight, bit it honestly feels like a sibling squabble more than a break up. Robin actually giggles at some point, like the whole thing is adorable.

"Aren't you going to go after her?" Law asks with a pointed look that silently explains what Zoro SHOULD do.

Zoro shrugs it off, unbothered by Law's judgement. "No."

They sit there in a few beats of awkward silence.

That's about when the whole idea really blows up in Law's face.

It's not Zoro's obvious apathy, Perona throwing a fit, or even Law's strange protectiveness of his kendo partner that does it. It's that stupid Portgas boy.

"Hey, there, baby." Everyone including Zoro looks surprised when Ace slides into the booth beside the green haired kenshi (well not Robin, Robin never looks surprised). "How's the date going?"

"Disastrous," Law answers, elaborating on Zoro's shrug. Ace laughs, slings an arm around Zoro and shots Law a grin he seen a hundred times on magazine covers and television and yet never realized how annoying he found it until it's directed right at him.

"I kinda figured it would," Ace says, pulling Zoro close and leaning in enough that the boy's earrings chime with each word. He doesn't even bother whispering, so Law isn't sure what the point in this whole charade is. Ll he's managed to do is half drag poor Zoro into his lap and get close enough that his lips are practically dragging over Zoro's skin with each wo-

Oh.

"Came by in case you needed saving." Then he bites at Zoro's ear.

Zoro gasps - a shocked, pleased sound - before his jaw snaps shut and he turns to stare at Ace. Ace leans back in the booth with his arms stretched out and a cocky grin as he watches Law. Law glares back, not about to back down from some pretty boy whose only famous for playing one good role. All three are completely silent.

Robin giggles into her hand.

"I'm starting to see why the date didn't work out," she chips in happily, clearly amused by this whole little show Portgas was putting on. Law really had thought she was smarter than that.

"Trafalgar here is the one who told him to "bring a girl". Kinda presumptuous of you, wasn't it?" Ace finally moves his arm from around Zoro, only to lean into the table, giving Law a accusing look.

How dare he suggest-! Law had only been-! As if he would have cared if Zoro had come with a boy! It wouldn't have bothered him in the least! It's just with all those girls that follow him around, Law had assumed... Not in a bad way, damnit! If Zoro had expressed any interest in boys surely there would have been plenty of them after him as well, though. It's not as though he isn't -

Law doesn't like Portgas D. Ace at all.

"It's hardly my business who Zoro-ya chooses to be with," Law says, calm as he can considering his current heated frustration with the boy across from him. "Though as his partner, I have to say, I find the choice of this particular technique to be inadvisable."

"You don't understand why he likes-"

"I don't understand why he likes you, Portgas-ya."

Despite the sharpness of Law's comment, Ace looks damn smug about the exchange. Next to him, Zoro is clearly wondering just what the hell Law is thinking and what he's even trying to achieve. He refuses to take his eyes off Portgas long enough to pay Zoro much attention, but out of the corner of his eye he can pretty much tell Zoro's mouthing something along the lines of, "What the hell?" right at him.

Law doesn't really know, he just knows he can't stand this man who seems so comfortable touching and holding and just being there with Zoro.

"That's sweet," Ace chuckles, turning his attention back to Zoro, who is still giving Law mean, pointed looks. "You didn't tell me he was such a big brother."

Law all but snarls at the comment. He doesn't like how it sounds, what Portgas is trying to imply.

Zoro is still eying up Law, though, so he does he best to hold back his anger. "He isn't."

"He sure acts like it." Zoro doesn't take his eyes off Law until Ace all but forces him to turn away (which pleases some feral ache deep in Law's chest he has no plans to ever think about), cupping his chin and facing the boy towards him. "Look how worried he is over who you're dating."

Then, as if to make his point, Ace kisses his partner. Right there in the middle of the restaurant.

It doesn't come as a surprise, Ace broadcasted it well enough, and still it makes Law furious to watch the older boy lean in and lead Zoro through the kiss. He parts Zoro's lips, he pulls Zoro closer, angling him just so. Law could turn away from the whole shameless display but instead he finds himself watching as Zoro leans in to Ace, as his hand curls into his shirt, as his cheeks go faintly pink.

Ace makes Zoro moan, and if Law had his sword he would have sliced the space between them just to get Portgas away from the other boy.

Law isn't sure when he started digging his nails into his knees. It's only when Ace pulls away leaving Zoro looking so dazed that the pain really sinks in.

"Hmm..." Ace looks down at Zoro, eyes going lower than was at all appropriate. "You wore my jeans. Cute."

That's the last Law can take. "Those aren't your jeans," he growled through a clenched jaw, stopping himself just short of openly accusing the other boy of being a liar.

Though, of course, that is still what he's doing. Ace throws him a look that says he understands this perfectly well. He gives Law another chance. "What do you mean to say, Trafalgar?"

Instead of swallowing his own stupid words, Law doubles down. "I got those out of Zoro-ya's closet. They aren't your jeans." Because if they are that would imply...

Well, Ace's smile is enough to let Law know that's precisely what he means to imply.

No, there's no way. Zoro was supposed to show up with some equally young, shy kendo girl. He was suppose to be awkward and stupid with her, and Law was supposed to be sarcastic but understanding. They'd get through the night and the girl would give Zoro a chaste, shy kiss at the end of the night and then next day Zoro would show up to practice smiling and excited and they would stay on the same team and the girl would never come up again. This... This is unacceptable. Zoro isn't supposed to actually be seeing anyone. Especially not someone like Portgas D. Ace. Someone who had stayed over at his place, who casually left clothes in his room and who already came to a his games, would likely keep coming and reminding Law that-

He hates Portgas D. Ace. He really does.

"A protective older brother, too," Ace mocks. "What's wrong Trafalgar? You seem upset."

Before Law can say something even stupider that he had, a soft hands curls around his shoulder. "Law-kun, I do believe it's time I got back home, don't you?" Robin asks with a perfect smile, clearly trying to usher him out because he starts more trouble.

He wants to point out Ace is the one who came here uninvited and ruined the evening Law had planned, but even thinking it forces him to realize she's right. He needs to not be here right now.

He storms off without a word, leaving Robin to say goodnight and what a pleasure meeting them had been. Law's too busy trying not to think, to rid himself of the things he had already thought. If he could just pretend this night never happened, the tomorrow everything could go back to how it was and he'd be fine.

-💚-

About three seconds after they're out of sight, Zoro has his breakdown. "What the hell was that?" He punches Ace, who clearly hadn't been expecting it because he gets the older boy to flinch. "What about all that crap about getting along and staying a team? Arg, you made me ask out Perona, you jerk! Why do that if you were just going to come over and antagonize him!?"

Zoro's head hits the table with a solid thud. He's got no idea what's happening. Why did Ace show up in the first place unless he knew brining Perona would fail? Why had he mocked Law like that when he knows how important these matches are to Zoro? What did Law have to be so upset about anyway? Why had he gotten so mad at Ace and how did Ace know he would, because he's clearly been messing with Law. Fuck. Why is this happening to him?

"It'll be okay, little brother," Ace says, ruffling up Zoro's hair. "Tommorow, I'll bet you anything he tells old Rayleigh you two worked everything out. You just wait."

"Don't say that," Zoro mutters into the table, not liking either Ace's disrespect of his teacher or the nickname. Not right after Ace had kissed him like that. It's probably his first really real kiss, and Ace hadn't even meant it. Great.

Turning his head, he glares up at Ace, still laying half across the table. "How can you be sure? He seemed pretty pissed." Zoro didn't know what about, but it's obvious Law had not been happy. He looked like he had been about to lean over and punch the both of them of he'd had Kikoku with him, sure as anything there would be blood on the floor and they would owe the restaurant for their freshly cleaved table. He's gotten use to the other boy looking at him like he's vaguely annoyed by Zoro's very presence; he's never had Law actually get out right furious with him like that.

Sometimes, Zoro enjoys getting under Law's skin just to see the older boy get worked up. He makes these faces that Zoro likes a little too much, and it's nice to know he's done something that's annoyed Law rather than just him being there annoying Law. But he hadn't enjoyed THAT at all.

Ace just snickers, flashing Zoro his biggest grin, the one that -even though they're not blood related - let's you know Luffy really is his little brother. "Just trust me, that guy wants to keep your little team together as much as you do." Ace seems to consider this for a moment before a knowing smirk comes over his features and he chuckles again. "No, pretty certain he wants it more right now. But you'll get there."

Zoro makes sure Ace understands just what he thinks about that the the meanest face he can manage. Ace remains unaffected. "It's my dream to win the world title," Zoro reminds him, voice absolute resolved. "More than anything in the world. Way more than Trafalgar Law wants it. He's more interest in the press and the fame and the girls."

Ace ruffles his hair again, ignoring the way Zoro growls at him. "You seemed to enjoy that kiss, huh?" He teases, winking at Zoro and forcing him to bury his head back against the table. Better than letting Ace see him turn bright red.

"Maybe I was going along with your stupid plan," Zoro grumbles, not willing to admit out right that he hadn't even been aware Ace had a plan (still isn't one hundred percent convinced he did, certainly not one Zoro has figured out). "Did you consider that?'

"Mmm...." Zoro freezes up, feeling Ace's hot breath against his neck. "Then you're a better actor than I thought."

Zoro can feel Ace scoot closer and tenses up just as the other boy's tongue traces the shell of his ear. It's... Oh, it probably shouldn't feel so good. Fuck, how did Ace...? Zoro's eyes flutter close and he hears this soft little mewling sound, only realizing that's him when Ace chuckles against his ear.

Without looking up from the table, Zoro takes a swat at him. Fucking pervert!

"This will be a lot more fun if you get use to it now," Ace promises, fingers sliding up along Zoro's neck. "Then again, you're pretty cute when you go all speechless and needy. That could work for us."

Zoro has no idea what Ace is talking about (also his fingers feel really good travelling the length of his spine) but something a lot like his Luffy warning starts ringing in his head. And that always means trouble for Zoro.

-🧡-

"Actually, sir, we got together on our day off. We managed to come to an agreement."

Law is looking at his sensei as he answers the question about if their team has a future in this tournament, but he can feel the confusion rolling off Zoro.

What did the other boy expect him to say? "Actually, Rayleigh, I took Zoro on what I had assumed would be a mock date, but it turns out he has very real boyfriend. He implied the two have slept together and I got so jealous my girlfriend had to escort me out of the restaurant so I didn't attack him."

It would have been more honest, but Law has not worked this hard for this long just to drop out of the games because of some silly, unconsciously harboured crush for his teammate. No, he planned to stay in this for a little longer, regardless of whatever sudden realizations he may have been forced to face over the last two days.

It doesn't hurt that by staying in the championship, he'll be staying close to Zoro, either.

Fuck, he's so fucked.

It's pathetic how obvious the whole thing is to him in hindsight. Complaining about the way Zoro would walk around in that tight blue tank top. Staring at him through every interview. He'd been jealous of a bunch of school girls!

Law had even convinced himself that Zoro didn't talk to them out if awkwardness - it's easy to imagine the boy who couldn't even strike up a flirty conversation with one of a dozen girls swooning over him of course wouldn't notice subtle signs of interest here and there - rather than the more obvious answer that he simply isn't interested. Why would he be when he has a goddamn movie star back at home to keep his bed warm?

That's possibly the worst part in all this. Law had himself so blinded he didn't even notice Portgas mocking him until it was way too late to take hide the truth. And after looking back on the night, Law has no doubt the other boy had been playing with him..when subtle jabs hadn't worked, he'd straight up kissed Zoro while Law watched on, and when that had failed all it took was the implication that they'd shared a bed and Law had all but jumped up to try and force Ace to take it back. Just imagine those headlines:

BRILLIANT KENDO STRATEGIST DEFEATED BY THEATRE KID USING MOST OBVIOUS PLOY EVER

If keeping their spot in the championship didn't hinge on Rayleigh thinking they could work together, Law wouldn't have come in today. He still isn't sure how Zoro's going to react. Did Ace have to tell him or had Law been that obvious by the end? Either way, they had to have talked about it, right? If the situation where reversed, if Law were some famous film star with a cute kenshi boyfriend whose kendo partner obviously had a thing for him, he'd definitely have some questions. He'd come to every practice just to make sure that bastard kept his hands to himself. Law chuckles to himself at the image. No doubt, that would drive Zoro fucking insane.

Except Ace walked into that restaurant ready to get under Law's skin, knowing Zoro had brought the girl first in order to appease Law. That doesn't make sense unless.... God... What if that whole awkward persona is just an act? What if sweet, little Zoro likes when his boyfriend get all jealous?

(And now Law's imagination is in overdrive. He can imagine it all to easily, and in vivid color)

I mean, why go on a double date and take a fake girlfriend and a guy your boyfriend clearly doesn't trust? Zoro seems a bit naive on such matters, but no one can be THAT blind. It doesn't make sense.

Unless he gets all hot and bothered seeing his actor boyfriend being so possessive.

If that were the case, Law would happily indulge such needs.

Maybe when they get home, Zoro teases him all the way to the bedroom, tells him all the suggestive things his teammate said to him, how he kept finding all these reasons to lean against him or run his hands over him, how poor Zoro can just feel his eyes lingered in the locker room until Law just can't take it. He needs to remind Zoro-ya who he belongs to is with. Zoro teases Law to the breaking point. The green haired boy all but forces Law to throw him into bed, down on all fours. That Is until Zoro keeps trying to get to him. So Law has to pin him, face down, to the matress just to shut him up. Pulls his hair back just to hear the way he'd cry out so desperately for him when-

Fuck. He is so, so fucked.

Maybe just out of thanks for getting Rayeigh off their back, Zoro doesn't say anything in the locker room, and Law's decent enough he keeps his back turned until well after Zoro's done changing. There's a short pause (is he waiting for Law?) And he hears the door clonk closed, then Law rushes to put on his protective gear before all but running to the practice floor.

"Good to see you've decided to join us," Rayleigh says, voice booming and way to cheerful for the morning. Law bows before apologizing. Up in there stand someone gives a shout and tells Zoro to kick his ass.

He says someone like the stands are packed full. It's just a practice. There may be a few cameras, some visitors, maybe one or two recruiters or specialists, and then, of course-

"Come on, babe! Cut him up!"

Portgas D. Ace and Monkey D. Luffy seem to be able to sneak or charm their way into every practice no matter how closed Rayleigh tried to make it, and since today is one of those days with a handful of people scattered through the arena, Law is guessing the two brothers didn't have to try too hard to get in. Still, don't they have lives? Movies to film, their own practices to attend? Just anywhere to be that isn't here?

Law grinds his teeth together as Zoro beams up at the two, just like he does every damn day. It use to just be a slight annoyance, though really Law had no reason to get annoyed by the gesture other than it meant Mugiwara-ya was in the crowd and sure to be a loud, bouncing ball of distraction.

[Now though, he supposes it makes more sense. He remembers the dazed look in Zoro's eyes after being kissed. Did he always look so helpless after every kiss? He certainly always seemed equally excited to see his boyfriend had shown up, even though it hardly qualified as a surprise when Ace and Luffy made a point at being there for every match, practice or official. What had Ace done to deserve that kind of admiration? Interviews and gossip reports gave the impression there's just something about Ace, some unique spark that you can't explain, something that has to be expierenced.]

Rayleigh has them go through several kata as he has done every day since Zoro - upset with Law over some stupid reason or another and eager to get started - had snapped that they weren't beginners who need to hold hands.

[Law isn't an idiot, that's just what reporters say when a person is attractive and charming and something of a flirt. Law had seen that in Ace already and it was nothing special. Maybe if you aren't use to having such a charismatic force aimed directly at you, but being personable and good looking isn't the same as having personality or being good.]

They bow to one another. The formality of the silent tradition is somewhat undercut by Luffy's loud cheering. Law is experienced enough to know better than to take his eyes off his opponent, especially for that crucial first strike. Still, when he doesn't hear Ace's voice alongside his brother's, he can't help but glance up at the stands.

The fucker has the audacity to wink at him, leaning back in his seat, feet propped up on the chair in front of him. He looks almost too casual, like he's posing for a magazine cover. Law scowls, his grip tightening on kikoku's hilt as he braces for Zoro's incoming hit, subconsciously knowing all his partners patterns and movements. He only breaks eye contact with Ace out of respect for his opponent and the sport.

[If you did a search through Law's public history, it may not always be so gentle with him, but it showed someone who is skilled at what he does and won't fake humility just so the press would praise him. Otherwise, what is the difference between the two? You could read plenty of articles trying to explain the appeal behind Dr. Heartstealer, the supernova of kendo who comes off as a little wicked, a little dangerous, plus some other indescribable quality that no one ever seemed able to put into words (it would seem that Ace's spark isn't so unique after all). Then it's a catalog of girls and guys who they've been seen with, rumourmongering regarding who broke whose heart, a few of the worst case scenarios end up crying to some tabloid, a handful of gossip columns from when they were younger and messed up the way you do. The biggest difference seems to be that Law never drove a car into the Upper West River.]

Zoro's strikes are practiced, controlled, the kind of hits that Law has gotten use to. He's honestly surprised there is no anger behind them, none of that fierceness Zoro brings to real matches, or when he's feeling attacked. So he isn't the least bit effected by Law's feelings? It's preferable to him being angry, at least. Law knows as much, rationally speaking.

So why is he so disappointed when he expects Zoro's attacks to bite and instead they are designed to barely graze?

[And didn't finish twenty seventh in a list of the fifties Most Desirable Bachelors.]

"You should pick up your game, Roronoa-ya. You're boyfriend looks rather bored. Perhaps he's losing interest?" Now why the hell would he say that?

[And has an actual skill, something he's worked hard to perfect, something he does that relies on more than a pretty smile and photographic face. So there's that.]

If Law is puzzled by his own stupidity, Zoro is completely confounded by it. With their locked blades between them, Law can still see the flash of utter bewilderment on Zoro's face, as though he's hot no idea what Law could possibly be talking about.

It's just as easy to see the moment realization dawns, since Zoro loses concentration to glance back towards the stands.

[Maybe Zoro doesn't mind that he looks like a lovesick puppy enamoured with someone just because they're attractive and glamorous and charming and not much else. Maybe he doesn't want someone who challenges him, who pushes him to be stronger.]

Law doesn't hesitate.

[Law doesn't believe that.]

He strikes low, where Zoro's left himself entirely exposed. The gear takes most of the hit, but Law swings with such ferocity that a bruise is all but guaranteed to bloom across the spot, marking Law's victory across Zoro's skin. The hit is sharp and fast, and with enough force that it knocks Zoro off his feet, sending the boy skidding across the mat a good foot and a half before collapsing completely.

"Zoro!" He hears Zoro's friend shout out over a few shocked sounds from the rest of the crowd. He doesn't have to look over to know the two brothers are more than likely racing towards the floor.

In most smaller arenas, that kind of strike would have earned Law a penalty. Rayleigh just considers the two of them for a moment before giving Law the point.

Law winces as the scoreboard number goes up, taking two long strides over to where Zoro is just now pushing himself up onto his hands. Law collects the two lost katana on the way, offering them up to the still seated boy.

He shouldn't have been given that point. That hadn't been a hit he'd ever want to win on. It had been out of pettiness, not planning, and he'd not only gone for Zoro's weakest defense, he'd lashed out with as much strength as he could manage.

He'd wanted to use Ace against him. He'd wanted to to leave a mark. He'd wanted to show he is more than strong enough to take Zoro. He'd wanted to hurt him, just a little. He wanted to get Zoro angry.

He expected he would be after a cheap hit like that.

So when Zoro starts climbing back to his feet, it's Law that ends up staggering backwards a few steps, left feeling unsteady and reeling. With his hands still on his knees, drawing in what has to be painful breaths, Zoro shots Law a crooked smile.

It's a toothy, dangerous grin that says he might just be waiting for you to get close enough to rip you apart with his teeth. It's more dangerous, still, because Law wants to smile back. "I hope you've got something better than that planned for the actual tournament, Trafalgar," Zoro says, reaching out for his swords. "Or you're going to have to go on a lot of double dates."

-💚-

All in all, Zoro thinks this practice had to be one of their better ones. Maybe it's because, despite Ace telling him not to worry, Zoro had spent the rest of Saturday night and all of Sunday wondering what he would do if Law flat out told Rayleigh they couldn't work together. Could Zoro convince the old man to take him on as a singles player? Would there even be a spot open? Maybe he could recruit another teammate. But Rayleigh would have to approve, and he seemed pretty adamant that Zoro and Law work around their issues if they wanted to continue onto the championship.

He could try again in three years, but the very thought of simply giving up like that hurt. He couldn't come so close to his dream just to let the opportunity slip away before he even got the chance to compete.

By the time he'd come in Monday morning, he still hasn't come up with a better plan than, "convince Law to give me second chance" and failing that, "plead with Rayleigh to let you stay and train". Unfortunately, he couldn't quite manage to speak with Law before Rayleigh came marching into the locker room.

Zoro appreciated how RAYLEIGH didn't mess around with their heads (the way he is sure Law... And maybe now Ace.... Would have). Their sensei simply looks between the two of them, then simply asks if they had determined how they would be able to work together or not. No trying to slowly force the answer out of them with a series of annoying questions of using some funny metaphor. Just direct and to the point.

But it was harder to appreciate when he was sure this was the end of his chance for the title, at least this time around.

No matter what Ace promised him, he's still been shocked at how quick Law was to reassured their teacher that, yes, they had worked things out and we're sure they could continue on as a team.

Zoro just about wanted to hug him for putting the promise of the championship above their stupid personal issues. Except he didn't want Law to change his mind

Everything else seemed easy in comparison to this morning, when his challenge had been simply being allowed to stay in the tournament. Even the hit Law got on him.

He had utilized a rather sneaky technique to get Zoro to drop his guard, but Zoro is the one who had been so easily distracted (does Law really think Ace is his boyfriend? Zoro had been sure he would have worked out Ace's little prank by now. Maybe he had Nd this is some sort of weird payback?) and otherwise the strike - while stronger than Zoro would have expected - had been completely fair. Zoro could hardly blame him for seeing an opportunity and the taking it. That's what they train to do.

It'd been harder to convince Ace of that when him and Luffy had jumped over the wall and run over to his side. Luffy had been afraid Zoro had been cut up again, but Ace... Ace just seemed to be there for a fight.

Rayleigh had stepped in once Law hadn't refused and the cameras started clicking. He'd done what Zoro had been pretty sure was impossible; he'd kicked Luffy and Ace out of the arena.

Still, without his friends there to get all overprotective, Zoro had been allowed to push himself through the rest of practice, which had been one of their smoothest together. Particularly when they practiced their team footwork. So Zoro hadn't been bothered by the pain that came with breathing.

Now that it's over, though, and they're back in the locker room, Zoro is getting a good look at just how bruised he's gotten. His entire side is an ugly mix of black, blue and purple, centered right under his ribcage. He can barely pull his shirt down without wincing, And going off the deep colors of the bruise it's going to keep hurting for a while longer.

Wow, Law really has some force behind him when he goes for it.

"I should have been more careful." Zoro jumps, yanking down his shirt when he realizes that at some point, Law had snuck up on him. The older boy is leaning next to his locker, staring at Zoro's side like he can still see the giant bruise he left there.

Zoro tries to cover the pain caused by his own awkwardness with a snort of what he hope sounded like disbelief and not a fresh wave of hurt. "I don't know, your aim seemed pretty careful to me." It's not as if Law had managed to strike him that hard on accident. Anyway, Zoro honestly didn't care. It'll just remind him to do a better job keeping his focus on his opponent at all times.

He honestly doesn't understand why Law looks so guilt about a strike he had every right to take. "Perhaps Silver-ya should have let us two fight it out." Law chuckles, the sort of dark, perverse laugh with no real humour to it, but still makes Zoro's skin feel all warm even if he can see the other swordsman is still upset. "I think it would be better if we took it out on each other rather than you."

[ailuronymy]

Hello! I was searching for some trans warrior cats post on Google when I saw your account, I would really like some advice for handling a trans warrior cats character I'm writing in my AU.

He presents as a she cat at the beginning but later on comes out as trans, I was wondering about how should I approach the transition itself. The first ideas I had are: for him to do vocal exercises with the medicine cat which will help lower his voice (that is one of his main insecurities) , his clan mates will switch to male pronouns and he will get extra food so he could grow larger and more masculine looking (Cats that have a stable diet while they're growing are going to be bigger and stronger) along with herbs that are supposed to stop/repress ovulation in she cats (I'm not that great at biology but I think that would also affect his hormone levels)

Do you have any other ideas?

PS: Thank you for your help and time!

Hello there! Thank you for writing in, but I’m sorry, this blog is not here to provide this kind of help. If you look in the tag here, I’ve done what I can in the past and I hope some of it is useful to you, but as I’ve said before, I’m not looking to talk more on the topic. It’s not wrong to want to write about trans characters, so you’re not in trouble for asking or anything, but I’m not comfortable being consulted for this information.

In fact, if I’m totally and maybe a little brutally honest with you, I think that if you’re at the stage of writing about a complex and highly personal experience where you’re asking random strangers on the internet for advice, you’ve probably got a little way longer to go before you’re ready to actually write about the topic and I’m sorry if that’s difficult to hear. My guess is that you’re probably not transgender yourself, because otherwise why would you be asking me about it? Surely you know your experience better. 

I don’t think that means you can’t write about this topic eventually and I think there is genuinely a good intention in trying to seek out information, but please consider the sources from which you’re seeking this information. There are literally books (both fiction and nonfiction) written by transgender people and I feel like reading work by those people--i.e., the people who have first-hand experience--is a great place to begin learning about how to write on this topic. 

I know you’re coming to my blog because it’s about Warriors and you’re looking to write about a transgender cat, but I think before you can try to transpose this concept onto the world of Warriors, you need to really learn about the concept itself in detail from a variety of sources and then you can focus in on how it might be interpreted in a different context--i.e., in cats. 

For example, you’ve mentioned “male pronouns”--but actually there’s no such thing as male pronouns. He/him is traditionally assigned to men, but there’s a lot of lesbians who also use those pronouns. There’s nonbinary people. There’s a lot of transgender women who haven’t come out. I understand what you mean to say when you say that, but pronouns are actually just one aspect of identity and performance of self and they’re as fluid and open to interpretation as the rest. 

It’s all constructs and I personally think if you want to write in a space that is actively discussing gender and what gender is and what gender can be and the kind of inherent boundary-breaking and remaking and reworking that comes with that territory, it’s worth really sitting down and thinking about these things and being careful with how you actually want to position your character and story and the language you use, etc. etc., and again, I think if you’re asking me for guidance, there’s probably a chance you’re not quite there yet. 

I want to mention as well that “coming out” stories in general are greatly over-represented when it comes to ‘queer’ stories by non-queer writers in mainstream media. You’re writing fanfiction for fun and that’s allowed and okay, but it does seem that the story you’re looking to tell is ultimately about this character coming out. You’ve focused a ton on the transition aspects of this character and if I’m totally honest with you, that strikes me as maybe not a great move, since it’s a very cis approach to writing about transgender characters to fixate on the “process” (often with an invasive, objectifying kind of lens). I’m not saying that your intention or necessarily what your story would be, but I do feel it’s worth pointing out so that you can be sure to avoid it. 

Also, as a side note that might interest you, cat voices don’t actually work like human voices. In human sexual dimorphism, testosterone levels rising in puberty result in a low voice--but cats don’t experience this in real life! Male cats don’t have lower voices than female cats, and the spectrum of “normal” cat voices can span from the very high to the quite low and gravelly regardless of the cat’s sex. To offer an anecdote, I have a skinny old Siamese who has an extremely deep yowl (which his mother also had) and a fluffy ginger cat with a very high, squeaky chirp, and they’re both male and desexed. So basically what I’m saying is transposing human experience onto cats (or frankly any animal) in this instance might be less straightforward than you’d expect, depending on how many cat characteristics versus human characteristics you want to include. 

Anyway tl;dr: I strongly recommend undertaking genuine research into lived transgender experience as written by transgender people before attempting to tackle any kind of story like this. You’re welcome to look through the tag I’ve got on this blog for ideas on adapting that research to a Warriors context when the time comes but I really have to stress that this is a topic that requires effort, humility, and a willingness to both learn and acknowledge the limitations of your own perspective as a writer. I’m sorry if that’s not the feedback you wanted to hear, but I can’t in good conscience not say it. 

[kedreeva]

Hi again, I am used to thinking that criticism on a fanfiction I write is helpful and I need to toughen up my skin if I'm going to put my own writing out there for other people to read. It was my understanding that if I couldn't handle the commentary, regardless of what it MEANT, then I wasn't "ready" to publish it at all. This is the first time I've ever seen a different opinion before, maybe I should have been reaching out to other writers.

Oh, I see now! I’m going to answer this one publicly because I’m sure it will help others too.

Here’s the thing- in order for criticism to be helpful to a writer, several factors have to align.

The first and foremost consideration is that in order to help an author improve, that author must first be open to crit. If they don’t want it, then it won’t help and it stands a very good chance of hurting them instead. What’s been drilled in some people by asswipes who have no business telling anyone their worth, is that you have to be willing to accept criticism in order to write at all. And that’s just not true. You absolutely do not have to want criticism. You’re allowed to just have fun doing something you like to do, and not want someone to criticize you for doing it.

The second consideration, and one equally important, is that the person giving the criticism must be qualified to do so, and someone becomes qualified to do sy by having permission from the author. Additionally, when a stranger on the internet gives an author criticism that was not invited, the author has zero reason to trust that advice. They have no idea if the person giving the crit actually knows what they’re talking about and a lot of the time, unsolicited advice by its nature cannot know what it’s talking about because the person didn’t talk to the author about what the author wanted out of the story. Even things as simple as typos, which have a very clear ‘right and wrong’ definition... if an author just wanted to get an idea out of their head and they don’t care about typos, unsolicited advice to fix typos can still be ignorant advice AND take away the enjoyment the author meant to gain by creating the thing. And I want to reiterate that “qualified” doesn’t mean “has a degree about editing”- knowing a lot about mechanics of writing helps but refer back to the first consideration. If they’re not ready to receive the crit, then it won’t help even if it’s right.

The third consideration, and it relates to the first but is a bit different, is that in order for criticism to help an author improve, that author has to want to improve. Not everyone does. Not every single story is ABOUT improving. Sometimes you just want to have fun with an idea. Sometimes you are giving a gift to a friend. Sometimes you just needed something out so you could work on something else. Sometimes you just don’t want to bother with Improving, for no reason at all. I’m sure people are going to continue to throw fits about this, but guess what? You don’t have to want to improve. Again, you can just do things for fun. You can just do things that you like to do and not stress and worry about always getting better. Sometimes it’s a really great thing to just Be. That’s okay!! That’s great!! Please take every opportunity to find joy in existing and creating without trying to frantically Get Somewhere Else. You’re allowed to exist where you are and like it.

The fourth consideration is that people who believe you have to be willing to be hurt in order to have fun in public places are fucking assholes and should be run out of our spaces. You should have to be nice to people to participate in public spaces. I don’t know why that’s even a debate. Just because people ARE fuckwads to people doesn’t meant that’s RIGHT or that we have to take it lying down. And a lot of writers aren’t, anymore, and it’s chafing people who are used to being able to bully them.

You’re allowed to draw boundaries. You’re allowed to demand they be respected. You’re allowed to take up space for yourself to have fun in without being told you can only do so if you’re looking to go somewhere. You’re allowed to stand up for yourself. You’re allowed to want people to be kind to you. You’re allowed to do things for fun.

You’re allowed to write just because you like it, and to ask for help/advice only when you want it, on your terms.

No one, anywhere, has the right to take that away from you by trying to tell you that you have to accept their shit or you can’t play in the sandbox.

[flokive]

lie to me I - If Walls Could Talk

description: internet bff au // Elisabeth (Liz) and Fletcher are best friends, even though they never met and they live on the opposite sides of the worlds; they’re still the bestest of friends. Their dynamic changes when something bad happens in Liz’ life and when she finds out that Fletcher isn’t really who he says he is... writers note: well, here it is... in honor of soft!ashton thursday: the first chapter of this little thing I’ve been writing. I want to thank my dearest @ashtonsos for basically co-writing this with me, helping me with the plot and just being my hype girl. also a big thanks to @calmlftv​ for reading, checking and helping me. // it’s been, I think, 8 years since I last wrote something so be gentle, I am a baby when it comes to fanfiction, especially english fanfiction. Well, I hope y’all like it, can’t wait to hear your thoughts! wordcount: 1035 warnings: argument, mentions of emotional abuse, cussing

++ "If these walls could talk, I'd hope they wouldn't say anything Because they've seen way too many things 'Cause we'd fall from grace, we're falling" ---

“I’m home...” A tired sigh following those three, simple words, indicates that this night could be a tough one. Liz rises as quickly as she can from the couch and moves to the kitchen to make it look like she was about to start cooking dinner. “Hey baby.” she says softly when James enters the room. “Hey.” A yawn escapes his mouth when he takes off his shoes and pours himself a drink. Ok, Liz, watch your words tonight, she thinks to herself. She gives him a small smile before searching the cupboards for ingredients. 

“How was work?” “Fine, I guess. What are you making today?” "I was planning on making a lasagna. But if you don’t want to wait for it, I can also throw a pizza in the oven.” His frown changes to a tired smile and a small spark appears in his eyes, as he plants a kiss on her head. “Lasagna sounds amazing. I’m gonna freshen up, see you in a bit.” She gives him a smile, watching him take off his tie and unbuttoning his shirt before he leaves for the bedroom and refocuses on dinner. The moment she hears the sound of drawers opening and closing she lets out a sigh she wasn’t aware she was holding. Her phone buzzes on the kitchen counter and she opens the chat with Fletcher, her best friend, whilst preparing dinner. 

 queenliz

heyy, i’m back. james just came home and i didn’t want to upset him when he sees i was ‘wasting my time’ on this website

                                                                                 fletchersthoughts 

hey girl! its okay! soo, you were telling me how to make a killer lasagna?

 queenliz

‘a killer lasagna’ it’s really not that good but ok weirdo… i’ll only tell you if you LiKE aND sUbScriBE tO mY chAnNeL!!1!

                                                                                fletchersthoughts 

and you tell me i’m the weirdo...

Liz laughs and rolls her eyes at the message and just when she was about to give Fletcher her recipe James mutters something under his breath. When Liz looks up her eyes meet his and there’s something weird in the way he looks at her and the phone in her hand. His arms are tense under his clean white shirt and his hands are clenched around a new glass of whiskey, which he downs in one swig. The air feels thick with tension and Liz is waiting for the worst. 

“What’s so funny?” His voice is toneless and his eyes are distant. “I was just..-“ Liz begins to say but James interrupts her. “Just texting, I’m sure. Of course,” he spits out the words with nothing but disgust, "you’re texting him, aren’t you? He is the reason you’re standing here, giggling like an idiot. Am I not interesting enough for you? Am I not funny enough for you?” He slurs the words and pours himself another drink, his third, and takes a swig. "What is it that he has, that I don’t have? Huh?”  Liz is nailed to the ground in utter shock. How could she have fucked it up already?! What did she do? Thoughts come and go and she opens her mouth to give him an answer but can’t find the right words.

The sound of glass shattering against the wall echoes in her ears when she looks in the dark, distant eyes of her boyfriend. “Answer me!” He shouts. Liz opens her mouth in complete astonishment. “What was that good for?!” She shouts. “We were just talking! He said something funny and I just laughed!”  

“You just laughed?!” A humorless laugh exits his throat. “You were laughing like a giddy little schoolgirl, who can’t wait to suck the quarterback’s dick. God, it’s pathetic.” He shakes his head and grabs a new glass from the bar cart. "You should be just laughing and talking with me. Your fucking boyfriend. Not a fucking stranger from the fucking internet!”

“Well I would be talking to you, if you wouldn’t go fucking psycho and throw a fucking glass at my head!” Liz bites back at him, too shocked and angry to raise her voice. “You know what?! I am done. Done with this psychopathic behavior of you. Throwing glasses at my fucking face, not being able to control your fucking temper…-“ 

“I am the one with psychotic behavior?!” He screams. “You’re the one who’s been talking to different men behind my back, like a fucking attention whore. You were never here for me. Every time I fucking needed you, you were always off with that internet guy of yours, or off to ‘work’ or to your ‘friends’. We all know better, Elisabeth.”  

“Don’t you dare talk to me like that!” The anger takes over and she begins shouting. “You don’t know shit, James. I give you everything, I’m always here for you! Don’t you see?! I’ve put up with your angry bullshit for two years now. TWO years of living in fear. Fearing you. Being anxious about every, single, word I say. Don’t you get how fucking exhausting it is, to be living with you this way?” 

“Why don’t you leave, huh?! If I am soooo exhausting?” His voice is cold and low. He stumbles towards her. Liz can smell the smokey scent of his whiskey coming out of his mouth. She shakes her head and crinkles her nose in disgust when she gets another whiff of the whiskey. “You’re drunk James,” Liz says thinly and stretches her arms out in front of her to try and push the tall man away. He stumbles closer until they’re eye to eye. Liz her phone vibrates again, and again. Both of their eyes flash to the moving object and back at each other. “Aren’t you gonna answer him?” He slurs. Liz shakes her head in silence. He lets out another humorless laugh and steps away. “You know what Princess? I hope he can fuck you just as good as I can. I hope he can actually put up with your spoiled personality."

"Get the fuck out of my house.” Tears burning behind her eyes. 

The last thing Liz hears is the front door closing with a bang. She collapses on the kitchen floor, trying to understand everything that just happened.

[kuriquinn]

Dear Mr. Kuri, thank you so much for your recent post concerning the young artist who was effectively censored from sharing his/her/their art on a particular subject (just... so sad). I was hoping to get your thoughts on how adults might navigate interactions with minors in this space. Specifically, extending our support for their work w/out necessarily... engaging with them. I know this sounds crazy stupid but before tumblr I wasn't really active on any social media and I had no idea (cont'd)

there were so many users under the age of 16 on this site. I've even come to learn that some identified users I had interacted with early on were as young as 13, and as someone in my 30's - tbh that scared the shit out of me. I totally agree that someone that young and impressionable would be crushed by the kind of criticism that poor artist faced, and would likely never create or share again... to their detriment. The thing is though, I feel really hesitant following any creator (cont'd)

that isn't 18 or older... What are your thoughts on following/reblogging/interacting with minors in fandom? I fully agree that they need support, especially from older users who don't care what some stranger on the internet has to say... but I just feel... like I don't know how to go about that the right way. I really REALLY don't want minors on my blog at all... sorry to bother you with this, just wondering how you'd suggest handling this. I didn't comment on the post bc I didn't (cont'd)

want to risk that young artist reading my inquiry and feeling even more alienated. As always, thank you for your time and insight. - Birk

I may go a bit off-topic here, but let me give this a try:

I think in, In the end, it all comes down to communication and mutual respect.

Adults have this pervading mentality that until a child hits 18, they need to be infantilized and sheltered, but once they pass that magical number, then it’s a free for all. So, for eighteen years, it’s all about sticking a Potemkin village in front of any idea, person or situation that a child might find uncomfortable (read: they don’t like the feelings it gives them; very different from actual harmful ideas/persons/situations). Then, these sheltered almost-adults enter public spaces and expect society to keep doing that…when it turns out that’s not how it works, they become toxic.

This is how poisonous movements like purity-culture develop online, or new fans who demonize older fans and adults as being perverts for enjoying the very same pastimes they have.

For those of us interacting with these people, the automatic reaction is to “cancel” that person, thereby alienating and isolating them even more in their bad behavior. Instead of taking the time to talk with and try to show them through actions that the world isn’t limited to what they know.

As adults in fandom, we know that a large majority of the fandom is younger, because we were them once. We were that 12-year-old discovering fanfiction existed or sharing drawings we made of our original Harry Potter characters or quoting our favorite movies and televisions ad infinite. We got shit for it in real life, so we had to create spaces of our own online.

We, in effect, built fandom so that it would be more welcoming for the generations that came after us. And while a lot of us stick to that unwritten knowledge, as the years pass, a lot more become gatekeepers. They set a standard of what a fan must know or do to be considered a “real” fan, and they’re mean about how they do that.

Is it any wonder that new fans coming in experience this behavior and then jump on the “adults in fandom is creepy” bandwagon?

These new fans coming in, especially tweens and teens, they still live in this false reality where they only get to enjoy themselves and be kids for a limited amount of time, and once they Become Adult they have to give it all up—and can’t figure out why all those old creeps online are still a part of such “childish” things.

That fault lies squarely on our society, which pushes kids from a young age to be thinking of what they want to do when they grow up so they can get out there and start producing, producing, producing for the state and becoming a “useful” member of society.

We as fandom veterans, need to do our best to teach them differently, and that comes right back to my point: communication and mutual respect.

Older fans need to respect newcomers, as much as the new baby fans need to learn to respect their fandom elders. There is no maximum age for fandom; there’s no minimum age, either, although the younger the fan, the more their parents should be keeping an eye out for the truly damaging stuff and teaching their kids how to avoid that stuff on their own.

Now, obviously, people don’t always announce online how old they are (though it does happen more frequently now than when I started writing), but regardless, there should be a certain etiquette to it.

When you interact with someone online, you don’t know if they are 15 or 50. And the way you interact with them shouldn’t change based on knowing their age. We should maintain the same level of respect for the new fans as the older fans.

So, as to how adults might navigate interactions with minors (especially when you know they’re minors)?

Treat them as any other intelligent human being: with respect.

Because how else are they going to learn?

My mom always used to say to us, “I’m not raising children, I’m raising adults,” which basically meant she was teaching us how to be adults. Kids don’t pop out of the womb magically knowing how to interact with the world, they take their cues from the adults that are already there.

Fandom babies learn how to be active participants in fandom from the people who are already there. And they’re more likely to listen to and look up to someone that treats them as a mature and capable being, than someone who dismisses them as too young or too green, or dismisses their knowledge and experience because they haven’t earned their metaphorical stripes.

Remember, a lot of these kids are coming to fandom because they need an outlet. In this age of helicopter parents, this is the only place where they get to be treated as an individual adult-in-the-making instead of the overly protected child or student that must be shielded from the world. A lot of them are trying to figure out how to deal with the horrors that happen to them or around them every day. That 16-year-old girl writing a rape/non-con fic under a pseudonym? She could be exorcising her own demons through the only way she has because no one in her life is listening to her. That 14-year-old writing about homelessness might know more about it than someone twice his age.

Expertise and experience knows no age, and as adults, we need to not fall into the trap of thinking it does. There are some kids out there that have seen and endured more than I can even imagine.

In recent years, there’s been this trend of treating kids like sexless beings until we, the adults, deem them capable of having a sense of sexuality. When the reality is, once kids start puberty, they’re developing that sexuality, and are trying to figure out what it means to them and how to navigate it, and the world. It doesn’t matter if adults are uncomfortable with it, this is what our human biology has decided for us.

And chances are, as much as adults try to curate the world and keep kids from seeing the darker, less safe stuff? They’re already doing it. I saw this when I was teaching, the kids are already accessing and interacting with stuff like sex, drugs, relationships… Whenever a faceless censor tries to block that sort of thing, they find a way around it. Humans are funny like that—we want the things that are kept away from us, whether harmful or not.

It’s our responsibility to help them think critically about what they’re seeing, and teach them to express themselves about it in a respectful manner.

So by all means: follow that amazing artist even if they are only 15. Their age doesn’t negate the fact that they have talent that needs to be nurtured and encouraged. Reblog the images and the fics that strike you, even if you find out the person writing it isn’t 18 yet. Send a shoutout via DM or review or comment to someone that you admire whether you know they’re age or not.

Unless you’re being actively creepy and offensive (and seriously, don’t do that, it’s gross whether the recipient is a minor or not), chances are these creators are desperate for some assurance that the medium they choose to express themselves in is having an effect on people—and that they have the power to make even adults sit up and listen.

So…TL;DR:

When interacting with younger fans, do so with respect. And if they say something problematic, don’t automatically cancel them and write them off as “obviously too young and immature to understand”. They understand more than you think and will seek out their interests whether adults think it’s appropriate or not. That’s how freedom works. But if we’re going to nip bad behavior like purity culture and agism in the bud, we need to start by treating minors in fandom as adults developing their worldview, not as infants to be sheltered.