#why did it take ten million years for me to write it omg

[xariarte]

finally finished the final draft of my Khris/Giannis fic...

[veilder]

"I thought you left" "Nope, just making pancakes" - Convin

Okay, so, I love this prompt and I promised I'd try to write it so... I actually did this last week at like 2 am and have been too busy to edit it until now. But I'm kinda sick of trying to puzzle it out so just take it please, omg.

(Prompt from this post if anyone's curious.)

Stay

The sun was already high in the sky when Gavin finally blinked awake. He could tell because there was one fuckin sliver of window he could never manage to cover with the blackout curtains hanging up in his bedroom and the goddamn sun was shining right in his fuckin eyes, Jesus Christ! With a groan, he rolled over, squeezing his eyes shut in a futile attempt to go back to sleep. But even that small burst of cognizance had its consequences. Gavin could feel the awareness creeping in fast, God fuckin dammit. Was a little shut-eye too much to ask for? But there was something... Something niggling at the back of his mind. It itched at instincts well-honed by over a decade on the force and not even his most earnest desire to return to oblivion could keep it at bay. Restlessly, Gavin huffed out a disgruntled sigh as he kicked at the covers, frustrated despite himself at being roused after the night he’d had— Like a shock passing through his body, Gavin’s eyes snapped open, memories of the previous evening flashing through is mind. But just as readily, a heaviness settling deep in his heart as he took in the other side of the bed. The sheets were mussed and the pillow indented, a clear sign of its former occupant. Evidence as plain as day told Gavin that last night hadn’t been some delusion or dream. And yet… He reached out a hand, an involuntary, desperate motion, tracing the outline where his partner had lain. Where Connor had lain. But just as he’d feared, the sheets were cold. They matched the ice filling his heart. Slowly shuffling upright, Gavin leaned back against the headboard as memories of the previous day filled his waking mind. Flashes of the case he and Connor had worked together rushed by in a flurry. The tip-off for the perp they’d been tracking for weeks and the reckless chase that followed. The abandoned warehouse. The shootout. Vivid Thirium across dirty concrete. Connor had taken a bullet for him. Gavin remembered staring up into those brown eyes, watching as a splatter of blue burst from his chest. "I'm fine," Connor had said, "the bullet didn't nick anything important." And even though the android had gotten right back up and proceeded to almost single-handedly take down the rest of the hostiles attacking them, it was still a moment Gavin knew would haunt him for a long-ass time. Shit was enough to give him nightmares. It did give him nightmares, in fact. Which is how the two of them had ended up back here. In Gavin's apartment. Together. Because after that little fiasco, after the gang had been arrested and the hostages recovered and both he and Connor had been checked over by a medic and technician respectively, it still left the job far from complete. Needless to say, Gavin had eventually nodded off at his desk after a long night of interrogation and paperwork, the rushes of adrenaline and fear more than even his beloved coffee could contend with. He only meant to rest his eyes for a moment. Just a moment and then he'd finish up. But when he awoke some indeterminate time later, it was to his own voice screaming, Connor's name upon his lips, Connor's blue blood scattered across the darkest corners of his mind, Connor's hand upon his shoulder jostling him awake. The android’s LED was flashing a violent red as he stared Gavin down, his brown eyes wide with worry. Gavin couldn't help but cling to him, something twisting, clenching in his heart and demanding he hold on tightly. From there, things had passed in a blur, though he remembered Fowler's imposing figure ordering the both of them to take the next few days off. Too tired and distressed to argue, Gavin agreed immediately, only too glad to get the fuck out of there and go home. And Connor? Connor insisted he drive Gavin home. Connor insisted he make sure Gavin got to his door. Connor insisted that he get Gavin to his bed. And Gavin, still clinging to the android with every last bit of his flagging strength, let him. Over and over he let the android steer him along, trusting a partner fully for the first time in... For the first time

in far too long. And when Gavin had finally settled, comfortable yet shivering in his too-large bed, he took a moment to insist right back. "Stay," he'd said. One word. One plea. A lifetime of wanting to not be alone wrapped up in a single syllable. A few short weeks of shifting worldviews and growing affections cradled in four letters. A wealth of experience in loss stealthily couched within a breath. Gavin insisted. And Connor stayed. Or, at least Gavin thought he had. Because here and now, in the stupidly bright light of day, he was alone again. Like always. He didn't know why he'd expected otherwise. He really should've known better. After all, why would Connor want to hang around here? Especially after his fuckin embarrassing little act last night, fuck. He probably had loads of things to do. Important... android things... People to meet. Places to be. He wouldn't waste his entire day sitting around in Gavin's shitty apartment while he slept like a log. How fuckin stupid would that be? It didn't mean anything. Gavin told himself this over and over again as he shifted, swinging his legs out from under the covers and onto the floor. Just because they could be considered friends now didn't mean Connor had to drop everything for him. Just because he'd begging him to stay didn't mean Connor owed him anything. He'd probably felt uncomfortable as hell last night, what with Gavin whining and bitching at him like a fuckin child. Probably said what he could to mollify him before getting the hell out of Dodge. Gavin couldn't even blame him for that. Fuck, Connor'd just had emergency maintenance done! Because of Gavin! Like hell he'd want some handsy human all over him for ten straight hours, Jesus Christ. It didn't mean anything. Even if he wished it did. His stomach picked that moment to rumble, thankfully interrupting his little pity-party. Thank fuck. It was too early in the morning (or afternoon technically) to be crying over stupid shit. He was probably just hungry. Yeah, that's it. He's all fuckin emotional cause he hadn't eaten in almost 24 hours. It didn't matter that Connor fucked off ASAP, Gavin could get some waffles delivered. Waffles never fuckin betrayed him. He could trust waffles. With newfound resolve, Gavin stood, fumbling for his phone on the nightstand before scrolling through his food delivery aps to see if he could get waffles from anywhere at two in the fuckin afternoon. With heavy tread he stepped out into the hallway, mouth already watering at the prospect and stomach rumbling again in agreement. Fuck, he could almost smell them already. Wait. No, he can smell them? What the fuck?! Before Gavin could do anything more but stand there in his pajamas, wide-eyed and mystified, a figure stepped into view. Instinctively, Gavin's heart raced, adrenaline flooding his veins as the threat of a home invader cycled through his brain. In that fraction of a second, he was prepared to dive into an all-out brawl with the bastard. He was not in the mood for this shit! But then said bastard's lips quirked into a dazzling grin and a brown-eyed gaze sent Gavin reeling in disbelief. While his brain was preoccupied with keeping his suddenly-weak legs standing, his idiot mouth opened up on it's own: "I thought you left,” he said, choking on his disbelief. Connor (because of course it was Connor) only quirked his head to the side in that cute way he does, looking for all the world like the dogs he so adored. His LED flashed a single, swirling yellow before settling back to blue and he said, "No, I was just making pancakes. I thought perhaps you might be hungry." A strange hesitance entered his voice, some dour note falling across his features. "Did you want me to leave?" "No!" Gavin blurted out in a moronic, high-pitched squeak because again, he was nothing if not an idiot. (And one destined to embarrass himself at every possible moment at that.) Clearing his throat, he tried again. "I mean, you can do whatever you want. Doesn’t matter to me." (He's lying through his teeth. It obviously did matter to him. It

mattered a huge fuckin deal!) Connor blinked at him, the only sign of the awkward atmosphere between them the flashing colors at his temple. "Your words run contrary to both your body language and your involuntary actions," he said, "And they are a direct counterpoint to your request last night." Gavin fidgeted, knowing the damn android was right but never in a million years wanting to admit it. "Stop analyzing me, dipshit, it's too early for this." Finally, Connor's face relaxes a bit, a smile smile stealing across his lips. "It is two thirty-three in the afternoon, Gavin. Far from early." "Oh, can it, Poindexter! You know what I mean!" With a huff, Gavin moves forward, sidling past his annoying house guest. "What was that about pancakes?" Connor beams at him as the two of them enter the kitchen. "Ah yes. I determined that you would be hungry after going so long without food. I managed to make due with your atrocious grocery selection and have prioritized calories over nutrition for the time being. But just this once.” While Connor seemed dead set on critiquing the apparently-lackluster pantry he’d been forced to bravely overcome, Gavin only had eyes for the heaping pile of flapjacks sitting at his breakfast nook, fluffy and golden brown and still steaming. Fresh off the griddle, holy shit. How did he…? Despite his hunger, Gavin looked over at Connor questioningly. It was almost like the android could read his mind (which was a scary fucking thought) as he answered his unspoken query immediately: "I calculated your sleep cycle based off the Circadian rhythms I observed during your convalescence. I'm glad I timed it right. I wanted you to enjoy your breakfast." "It's past 2 pm," Gavin retorted with a smirk, "can't be breakfast now, hotshot." Connor's answering smile made Gavin want to melt into a puddle and he quickly turned away, staring at said breakfast with a helpless desperation. "Indeed," the android said, heedless of his partner's distress. "Regardless of the time of day, I wanted you to enjoy your meal, nonetheless." And something more vulnerable finally stole into his voice then, the merest shadow of his quiet pleas from the night before. "I thought, perhaps, you might consider them an offering." Gavin tore his gaze away from his not-breakfast then, looking up at his partner with enough confusion to drive out all other complicated emotions. "What offering? What the fuck are you talking about, tincan?" And now Connor was the one to look away. "It's just that..." He drew in a deep breath (though Gavin knew it was only him mimicking humans. Fucker didn't actually need to breathe) and continued, "yesterday... Yesterday frightened me. When I saw that gunman aiming at you, I—" He clenched his eyes shut, LED flashing a dangerous red. "In that moment, I preconstructed a multitude of outcomes, many of them where you did not survive. In which that bullet found its mark. And the thought of it, Gavin!" he wails. "I couldn't—! The thought was unbearable! And so I calculated the best result. And I determined my course of action. And you lived. You lived. And I thought that would be the end of it. But..." Finally, Connor looked up, his eyes meeting Gavin's head-on once more. "It was like a glitch. The preconstruction, it— It kept resurfacing again and again and again, every time you were out of my sight. And I... I disliked the feeling immensely. I think perhaps I hated it, even. And so I did my best to linger. I didn't want to leave you. Even though I knew you were safe, I still... It was so irrational but I still wanted to verify that you were okay. I still do." Before them the pancakes were growing cold, but neither paid them any mind. Connor looked away again, eyes shut. "I thought that, perhaps you had figured this much out last night. Which is why you asked me to stay. Because we are friends now and that's what friends do. But I worried that I may have... forced the issue... in my desperation. And I-I... I wanted to do something for you in return for your generosity." Looking down at the cooling

breakfast, Connor's face fell further. "I know it's not much but I thought at least—" Gavin had heard enough. "Okay, okay, okay, hold the fuck up, dumbass!" He stood, breakfast forgotten, and approached the shocked android with a fierce determination. Jabbing a finger directly into Connor's chest, he stated as sternly as he could, "You don't owe me a goddamn thing! For fuck's sake, Connor! You fuckin saved my goddamn life yesterday! You took a fuckin bullet for me! And even after that, you still fuckin stayed with me and made sure I got home safe!" A growl rumbled through his chest as Gavin poked Connor again. "I was having a fuckin nightmare about you dying! When you woke me up in the precinct! Did you know that?!" Connor shook his head but Gavin only poked him a third time, this time with much less force. He left his hand there, palm splayed across where his heart would be were he human. "That shit kept replaying for me, too. Over and over again. So I get it. I get wanting to 'verify.' I was doing the same thing. That's why I asked you to stay. Because I fuckin—! I wanted you here, okay?! Because the idea that you were hurt or injured or fuckin dead had me panicking!" He brought his other arm up now, slinging it around Connor's broad shoulders in a half-embrace, and leaned in, burying his face in the android's neck. "That shit's unbearable to me, too, tincan. Thinking of this fuckin trash heap of a world without you in it is—" He sucked in a breath. "Can't stand the thought." They stood there for what felt like an eternity (though it was probably only a few seconds) before slowly—tentatively—Connor brought his own arms up to squeeze around Gavin. He held him with a brittle tenderness, his touch light and careful as if he was afraid Gavin might break. And fuck, maybe he would. Maybe Connor could shatter him into a hundred-thousand little pieces. But shit, he'd take it. Because Gavin would never have been in this situation in the first place if Connor hadn't broken right through his walls first, scattering him and leaving him adrift in a strange, new world. And when he’d managed to build himself back up, it was into something—someone—stronger. Someone who could look at the world and see progress instead of oppression, opportunity instead of limitations, people instead of just machines. Connor had shattered his body once before down in the archives. He'd shattered his mind too over these last few months. It’d only make sense for him to shatter his heart as well. But he didn't. He wouldn't. And as Connor held him like a thing to be cherished, Gavin felt again that perhaps he'd been right last night. Perhaps this was a partner he could trust. A partner who could trust him, too. And perhaps he would— "Stay."

_____________

Bonus:

Connor: "Okay, but only if you eat your pancakes. I didn't download an entire cooking catalogue for you to let them go to waste, Gavin." Gavin: "Fuckin bite me, we're having a moment here." Connor: "Is your stomach rumbling part of that moment?" Gavin: "God fucking dammit, I fuckin hate you." Connor: ^_^ "False!" Gavin: "Fuck!"

And they lived happily ever after. ♥

[yandereclues]

Request: OMG!!!I just had an idea for a yandere story!!!!!First of all would u be willing to write for polygamous couple ?If yes could u do a yandere Obi-Wan x reader x yandere Anakin with reader trying to escape as they are terrified of them and what they can do!!!If no,it’s fine!!!!Dw!!!❤️🥰💙

Requested by: @starwarsprequelfangirl

Note: Okay!! First, I love this concept. Second, gonna brag for a second: this has over 10,000 characters and I’m very proud. 💕💕

Pairing: Yandere! Obi Wan Kenobi x Yandere! Anakin Skywalker x Gender-Neutral Reader

Warning: Displays of obsessive behaviors, strong language, mentions of blood, sexual tension (kind of) and kidnapping.

Your hands shook violently as you took apart the control panel sparking in front of your face. You attempted to steady them, knowing that if you crossed the wrong wires the emergency alarm would sound. And you could NOT let that happen. The alarm was originally made to alert an attempted intrusion. But for you, the alarm was re-wired. Now set to alarm Obi Wan and Anakin of an attempted escape.

Sure, it would be simple to just smash the circuits in. But with the risk of alerting your captors of your efforts to escape? Not in a million years. You had seen the way they acted when they lost you the first time,the same reason you were taken captive in the first place. You had been exploring a small uncharted planted together, as friends. You ran through the vegetation of the planet, chasing after a large, elk-like animal.

Obi Wan and Anakin chased after you, calling out for you to wait up. You only laughed as you ran. Soon, you lost track of the animal, getting turned around in the midst of the tall trees. You stumbled around, trying to find your friends. But it was to no avail. Panic began to set in on Obi Wan and Anakin. They searched relentlessly. It seemed like an eternity of calling your name, and running around the trees, before they heard you calling back to them. You had fallen against a large stone, which had left you with a small, but bloody wound. They were not happy at all. Of course they were relieved to have found you, but they scolded you endlessly. But Anakin was much more emotional than Obi Wan.

“You can’t wander away from us like that,” Anakin was crouched in front of you, refusing to let you tend your own wound. He gently cleaned, and wrapped your knee as Obi Wan spoke. “He’s right, we can't have you running off.” He turned to Anakin. They looked at each other in agreement for only a moment, and then returned to scolding you.

Shortly after you returned to the capital, Anakin asked you to meet him in his room after dinner to “talk”. You were waiting for Obi Wan to come to the room, but he had yet to arrive. Anakin then stood from his place on the sofa.

“Water?” He asked, walking to pick up the pitcher on a nearby counter. You hummed, “yes please.” He brought over two cups of water, placing them down into the low table in front of the sofa you both sat on.

“So,” you picked up your glass, “what is it you wanted to talk about?” You carefully brought the glass to your lips, tilting it up to let the cool liquid flow into your mouth. The water was oddly sweet, with a bitter aftertaste. But nonetheless, you took a few more sips. “We’ll discuss that when Obi Wan arrives,” he also took a small sip of his drink. You turned to Anakin, looking past him, and out the large window that took up most of the wall behind him. The clouds seemed to go blurry, and you couldn’t focus your eyes.

“Ani?” You piped up, rubbing your eyes. “Yes Y/N?” He said. The room spun a bit, and a sudden tiredness swept over you.

“I’m sleepy,” you spoke softly. You leaned your head on his shoulder, nuzzling into him slightly. “I know,” he wrapped his arm around you, and moved his hand up to run pet your head. You pulled your legs up from the floor and brought them up to your chest, you heard Anakin hum with satisfaction. You fought to stay awake, but the sudden exhaustion that washed over you forced your eyes closed.

When you awoke, you were not in Anakin's chambers. You were in the very room you sat on the floor of now. Frantically pulling apart the wires of the door in front of you. As you crossed two wires, the door slid open. You quietly looked out into the corridor. Your captors had never told you where they kept you.

“You don’t need to worry about that dear,” you recalled Obi Wan cooing into your ear. The thought of your captors sent you sprinting down the corridor, taking little time to check around corners. The comfortable slippers they had gifted you did little to aid you, as the “non-slip” pads on the soles only caused you to have even less traction as you ran. Due to your lack of traction, you fell face first onto the white floor. Faint voices in the distance made you stiffen. You pulled yourself off the floor, and brought your hand to your nose in agony.

You wasted no time in stuffing yourself into a tiny storage closet. Waiting for the voice’s owners to walk past. But the voices seemed to stop directly in front of the closet you stood in. You took your hand from your nose. Looking at it you saw blood, the feeling of the red liquid running from your nose drained the color from your face. You looked at the floor hesitantly. You were horrified to see a trail of red droplets running under the door, and out into the corridor.

“Shit,” you cursed, immediately bringing your hand to your mouth in regret. The taste of copper made you want to vomit, but you held it there, in fear that you might make even more noise. The blood only continued to pour from your aching nose. The voices outside the door halted for a moment. You held in your sobs of fear, tears now streaming down your cheeks as your eyes scrambled around the closet. You searched for anything you could defend yourself with. Just as the door handle began to turn, your eyes caught hold of a glass bottle. As the door swung open, you grabbed the bottle and tossed it out of the closet. Obi wan and Anakin both dodges the bottle, giving you enough time to sprint between them.

“Y/N!” Anakin shouted, “Get back here!” You rushed towards the front door, on the other side of a large lounge. Your hands scrambled to press the correct buttons to open it, but two strong arms wrapped around your waist picking you up and pulling you away from the door. You thrashed against the person holding you, clawing at his arms. You wiggled out of Obi Wan's grip.

“Stop this Y/N!” Obi wan yelled. Anakin rushed behind you. He pushed you down onto the sofa, straddling your waist and holding your hands above your head. You pushed back against his grip, but he only gripped tighter.

“What the hell was that?!,” he shouted down at you. Your tears persisted as you struggled, even more fear washing over you. He looked at your hands, feeling the moisture of your blood against his own. “Stars,” he started, “you can’t even go ten minutes outside without getting hurt. And you wonder why we have to keep you here.” Obi Wan placed his hand carefully on Anakin’s shoulder.

“Not now Anakin,” he spoke in a frustrated tone. Anakin looked down at you. His eyes burned through you with anger. “Anakin.” Obi Wan warned. Anakin turned to him. He reluctantly released your hands. You sat up to bolt towards the door, but Obi Wan pushed your shoulders against the back of the sofa. “Stop.” His voice was filled with annoyance and frustration.

You halted your efforts. Your fear overtook your senses, placing you in a state of forced obedience. Obi Wan removes one of his hands from your shoulder, bringing it up to wipe your tears away. He tsked at your bloodied nose, but continued anyway.

“I’m sorry!” you cried, “please don’t hurt me! Please! Please!” Your begging brought a further frown to both men’s faces. Anakin pushed Obi Wan away from you. He sat down on the sofa, carefully pulling you into his lap.

“Shhhh,” he attempted to soothe you. If there’s one thing Anakin hates, it’s seeing you afraid of him. “It’s okay baby. We’d never hurt you. That’s why we keep you here, to protect you.” He rubbed circles into your back, gesturing for Obi Wan to sit.

Obi Wan sat reluctantly. You tensed as he did so. Anakin cradled your head into his neck as a response. You all just sat in silence, aside from the occasional hum from Anakin. After a while Obi Wan carefully plucked you from Anakin’s arms, and began carrying you back down the hallway.

“Please,” you pleaded, “I don’t wanna go back.” Wiggling a bit in his grip. “I know honey,” he spoke, much softer now, “but it’s the only way we can keep you safe.” The door still stood open from where you had broken the circuit boards inside. Obi Wan sighed, causing you to nestle your head further into his shoulder, as if you could hide from him that way.

“Anakin,” Obi wan gestured to the door, “would you mind taking care of this?” Anakin nodded slowly, also breathing a sigh at the door. Obi Wan places you down gently on the plush bed. You hung your head like a disobedient child as he walked away from the bed. He came back with a warm washcloth, just as Anakin started on the door. Obi Wan carefully tilted your head up and swept the cloth against your face, wiping up the now dried blood from your nose.

“It doesn’t seem to be broken,” he presses against your nose lightly, causing you to wince, “I hope.” He washed off the rest of the blood, and gave you the cloth to hold in case more blood came out. He moved away once again, this time to toss on some more comfortable clothing. Returning with his pajamas on, Obi Wan took the cloth from your hand, pleased to see your nose still clean. He placed the cloth on the side table, and climbed up onto the bed. You laid on the opposite side of the bed, facing away from him and towards the door.

“C’mere,” he reaches out, pulling your back to his chest. He wrapped his arms tightly around your waist, giving you little room to move away from him, and brought a light kiss to your temple. Your tears had now stopped, as you knew resistance had become futile. Once you both got into a comfortable position, sleep washed over the both of you. Leaving the two of you knocked out by the time Anakin was finished. You heard the faint noise of the door sliding closed, and felt Anakin slide under the blanket.

[sunshinexlollipops]

Hello! Just wanted to stop by (hopefully not being a bother) and say I have recently just went through all of your red dead fics on ao3 and wow. I've gotten into a/b/o fics more after reading yours! But also your amidst fic made me feel all types of things, and I know however it ends will leave me messy with f e e l i n g s. And I want to prematurely thank you for those feelings xP. I was also wondering, if that's alright, how your writing process is like? You put in a lot of words in amidst and some of your other fics. Do you make outlines? Do you first write down ideas for a chapter/fic and then draft it out? Are there scenes you add/take out? Is there a length goal you usually set for yourself? You don't have to answer, but I wish you well and thank you for fics that brightened my life a little!

LONG POST!

omg, hello anon! your ask 100% got lost in my notifs, so I just wanna start this off by saying you aren't a bother whatsoever!

in fact: I love receiving asks about my fics, as well as opening up about the writing that takes to get them to you guys!

so I'm gonna start this reply off with a quick thank you about my works! I'm so happy you're enjoying or have enjoyed what I've written.

RDR2/Arthur Morgan is a pleasure to write about, but I've also really enjoyed the fandom. it's been one of the sweetest and most supportive, and I've found one of my best literary periods with you guys! so thank you! :>

but enough pitter patter about that-- let's get to the fun stuff!

since you had a few questions, I'm gonna answer these in a separated list so it'll be easy to follow along! :)

-------

What is your writing process like?

well, in truth anon, I don't exactly have much of one.

that may surprise some, and others not. in truth, I think that sometimes the idea or concept of a "writing process" kind of scares anyone trying to get into writing.

I'm not sure if you are, anon, but your questions just make me want to cover this, just in case.

writing should come to you how it comes. I'm definitely NOT a textbook writer. I don't have a method where I have cardinal rules and a set up I have to have.

I simply embrace when inspiration strikes. usually while listening to music or absorbing some other media. frankly, if you treat writing like a science, you're gonna get stuck. it isn't an issue you have to fix, or a challenge you have to tackle.

allow yourself to get comfortable and just think whatever comes your way mentally. even if you think an idea is bad, encourage it! you can't write if you don't let yourself think.

so for me, I suppose my "process" is just encouraging my writing and for my brain to pop out ideas or scenes. just write away and see where it takes you!

You use a lot of words-- do you outline by chance?

ah yes. I am a wordy potato, frankly. albeit ACW is an overall outlier at being ALMOST A MILLION WORDS. even then, I don't think any of my over fics have ever really gotten past 150k, and I believe only ONE had done so.

this was... not by design.

believe it or not, I intended ACW to actually be short. 6 chapters like the game and boom, done. I thought I could summarize everything and just show snippets of a growing relationship between Arthur and my unintentional OC, Wolf. it almost would've been like a one-shot just broken up into chapters for homage sake.

but then I overplotted the prologue and next thing I knew, ACW had become this massive, sprawling monster of a slow-burn.

as for outlines... I don't necessarily outline. I'll explain this more in my next response. :)

Do you write a summary of a chapter or fic down, then draft afterward?

so in terms of summary, no. these stories live in my head, and I tend to feel that writing things down is more of a waste of time for me.

my brain flies through stories at such quick speeds I feel like I will lose my spark or my ideas if I take a second to write things down.

I am known to do audio recordings where I talk about my writing though. this is an amazing way to brainstorm on the fly, and some of my best ideas have come from just voicing what I'd like to see happen aloud. additionally: the recordings are a good way to keep track of what I've said and want, just like an outline!

otherwise I don't outline. I'm not sure what the terminology is, but I apparently go after my stories a lot like Stephen King does.

write first, worry about the rest later. I'm very much a "swim and swim even if you're sinking" because I would rather put the work in than fool with floaties to keep myself up.

personally this works wonders for me, as I don't like restraining myself or my head once I'm in motion. it doesn't end well if I do-- like snuffing a candle. I just go for it and I will make sense of it later.

even so, I have general ideas for what I want to happen, and I remember my basic outlines. the details come later, as long as the big picture is visible to me.

as for ACW: the only "outlines" I did was timing of the game missions. just to make sure I didn't miss major happenings, and that I had the timing in a way that flowed for what I wanted both logically and narratively.

as for drafts, I also don't draft. again, I go for it. that being said, I have restarted updates a couple of times, or have deleted entire scenes out of dissatisfaction. most of the time though, it's one and done for me! and it's all done on the fly. :)

Are there scenes you add/remove?

as mentioned above, yes. I have deleted a lot of content from ACW. some ideas never came to, but more often than not, it was repackaged in a way I liked better. so if anything, content was recycled and you all still got to see it in some way.

but there are some things that I want to do that just aren't possible. like many stranger missions. there's no good way to include certain events or characters in ACW without derailing what is going on. so alas: aberdeen pig farm is not a stop on Arthur and Wolf's itinerary.

but for another example, I wanted to showcase more of Wolf's past with her father (specifically her shut in life before his death), and I wanted scenes and more examples of her being disconnected unlike everyone else as a result.

these will come as flashbacks or other scenes in the upcoming chapters, but I intend to add these changes or additions during my revisions! :>

Is there usually a length goal you set?

as for word goals, I never quite had any apart from "at least 20k words" just because that was usually my average, I noticed.

additionally, this made sure I didn't end chapters without putting the bare minimum of content in them, and to have solid continuity. can you imagine have a 20k update and then a 3k one? no thanks!

20k just became my running baseline, after that. otherwise, my limit is when AO3 reaches theirs for the character limit (fence why some updates were split into multiple pieces).

with my other stories, I simply write until the story is properly paced or finished: however long it takes!

---------

whew! what a post!

but I hoped that gave you some more insight, anon.

writing is crazy, and I'm always learning something new. more now than ever, since I'm looking into actually getting something original submitted for publication.

if you (or anyone reading this) are inspired to write yourself, don't be discouraged! writing is one of the most intensive forms of creation. it's not easy. it's not instant. it's a lot of passion and time, let alone a utilization of language and grammar fluency!

it's easy to feel overwhelmed or lost, or feel like it's better to not try than struggle to start. but I can assure, writing is such a splendid thing to do. write for enjoyment, or pleasure, or simply because you want to.

as long as your story isn't intended to be hateful, is your own work, and is fun for you to create... what else matters?

if you want some additional inspiration, just know that I started writing fic in 2012/2013 and have gone through so much in my near TEN YEARS of fic writing. I've learned a lot, and I've grown so much!

be proud of yourself no matter where you are at and start from, and pride yourself in your progress or beginnings.

just go for it! you may surprise yourself!

hope you're having a good one, anon. and thanks for the ask! :)

[theem0fangirl]

And it only took one video (Finn wolfhard x OC)

Grace is not an ordinary girl, to say the least. All her life she was shaped to be the girl next girl that everyone just simply adored, you know?, at least that’s what her parents wanted. She ended up being the complete and total opposite. 

I bet her parents didn’t expect her to be the girl that stays up till three am questioning her life choices as she blasts Mr. brightside on full volume. They didn’t even expect, not one bit, that their daughter would become an internet sensation AT ALL. 

“Oh my god, Grace, did you see the views on your new video?“ Her best friend asked, they were in a group call through facetime. Grace had to use her laptop to video chat with them. She met her friends when her videos started blowing up on the new app called tiktok. 

“No, Milly, i haven’t seen it“

 she took her phone to check that her video was surpassing the ten million mark. The sound she used was to pretend to be a  character in stranger things to the song dirty harry from the gorillaz. 

Grace felt odd having people randomly hit her personal messages trying to be friends with her just because she was famous, or pretty. She even had boys from her old highschool hitting her messages. 

“Can you believe the audacity of these incels!“ Grace shouted “Texting me just because i suddenly glowed up and they finally look pretty for them. These boys ain’t shit“. 

The video where Grace dressed up as a stranger things character was getting a lot of attention. Mainly because a lot of people thought that she radiated female mike wheeler vibes. She didn't mind those comments, the comments she hated were the ones judging her appearance. 

user7874637291937: omg, her acting is so fake like it is so non-believable

user362823729382: i find it hilarious that people are commenting that netflix should contact her LOL

user46389292399: Has anybody seen her hair? like girl you look like a fucking rat nest JAJA t

user4666738293: lord, are those stomach rolls? ew!

She would usually just shrug those comments as stupid. They were just bored people with the attention span of a fucking goldfish and ate batteries for fun. 

“Also, i see that it is quite trending on twitter that people are randomly tagging Finn wolfhard to see your videos“

 Grace widened her eyes when she heard that. Her fans were doing what?!. 

“Tell me that you’re joking, dude“ she was starting to get nervous when her friend shook her head. 

Grace quickly had to open twitter to find out that people were indeed tagging Finn wolfhard on her stranger things videos all over her twitter feed. She groaned and threw her pillow against the wall. 

“YO, whats wrong?“ Tellulah asked “Uh, the fact that my fans are swarming THE MOTHERFUCKING FINN WOLFHARD WITH VIDEOS OF ME DOING STRANGER THINGS POVS!“ she shouted “Like, can they fucking realize that he wont notice my videos?. He’s too famous to even take a glimpse of my profile“ she plumetted back to her bed. 

“And what do you know?, huh?, what if he does respond to you and actually thinks that yod u are pretty?“

Grace scoffed “Yeah, like that will ever happen”. 

Grace never really cared about fame, especially since she is only seventeen years old. But people were just going insane over videos of her doing POV’s of random things, funny things, pretending that she was in one of her favorite shows, etc. 

“Hey guys, we still up for that coffee date later on?“ All of them nodded.

It has been a couple of days since the governor had lifted the stay in home order. She’s just happy that she gets to hangout with her friends. 

When they finally decided to hang up on the call, Grace decided to go on tiktok and make a video where she reveals that she has similar powers to eleven. While she thought of those she would also think of some good POV ideas. 

“Shit“ Grace cursed under her breath, she had a mess of clothes in her bed because she couldn't choose what clothes to wear for her new video/s. Then again she had to check her tiktok journal. 

Yes, Grace had ajournal that was specifically dedicated to tiktok. In that notebook she would write down the sounds she would love and gave her ideas for videos. Whenever she liked a sound she would write it with the POV idea alongside a polaroid picture with a description of the POV. 

She opted to wear her typical grunge clothes to do the tiktok video. 

“Maybe i should go on a live just to chat around with my fans“ 

When she instantly went on a live on tiktok more than two thousand people came on it. 

“Well hello you guys!“ she smiled while looking at the camera. She was reading the comments that they were leaving for her. 

randomser445: how old are you? 

user3345: do you have a boyfriend?

girlygirl55: What grade are you in? 

Grace chuckled, all the questions she received were just about her. 

“Well, first of all, I am seventeen years old, no i don’t have a boyfriend and i have recently graduated from my senior year“ she replied

Iamc00ch: how do you feel about your fans spamming finn wolfhard with your videos?

“It made me really uncomfortable because he is a busy guy and i probably think he doesnt have time to look at my profile. So guys, just stop spamming him, please!“ 

Everyone in the live were curious as to why Grace had her eyebrows furrowed and was confused. 

“No fucking way...“ she covered her mouth to prevent her from screaming. “Guys im gonna have to end the live, im sorry“. 

Grace couldnt believe her eyes. Was THE Finn wolfhard on her DM’s?, texting HER?. 

finnwoldhardofficial: so you’re the girl that’s been on my timeline this whole time

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, IT IS HIM, Grace mentally yelled at herself. She had to compose herself before returning his message back. 

goldencherubin: Oh my gosh, i am so sorry! i can’t believe my fans bombarded you with my videos. I didnt meant that to happen lol. 

finnwolfhardofficial: No worries, i actually liked having a cute girl appear on my timeline 

She felt her heart skip a beat. She just called her cute!. 

goldencherubin: oh- i- You’re gonna make me blush 

finnwolfhardofficial: that’s kind of the point 

Grace and Finn texted what seemed like eternity, and she didnt even mind it one bit. She just still couldnt believe that she was talking to the finn wolfhard, her celebrity crush that is actually the same age as her. 

And it only took one video for him to capture his attention.

[calumcest]

good morning :) loved the new drabbles and i was wondering if you'd write about 'actually.. i just miss you' and lashton again but like.. in the angel/devil au? i completely get it if not because you already wrote one with that prompt (and it was great) but i'm a sucker for this verse and the phrase just reminded me so much of them (oh and maybe alternatively for them if you don't want to use the prompt again: 'why do i love you?')

thank u so much!! omg i’m so glad you enjoyed the verse bc i am slyly living for it its very self-indulgent so any requests to write more in the angel/demon verse...how could i say no also forewarning this is not a drabble its 1.7k sdlkfjhsbdf 

Ashton, Michael prays, an edge of desperation to the word, and Ashton jerks up from the record of the soul he’s currently processing, focusing in on the prayer. Come down. I need you. 

What for? 

Luke. 

Ashton can’t help the butterflies in his stomach at that, and he swallows, pushing himself back from his desk. 

He shouldn’t. He shouldn’t go. Michael’s more than capable of handling Lucifer - he’s proven that once before - and Ashton’s busy. He’s got at least three thousand more souls to process today. He doesn’t have the time to go down, doesn’t have the time to chase whatever stupid nonsense Lucifer’s up to now. He shouldn’t. 

Instead, he focuses in on Michael, lets his prayer swell in his heart, closes his eyes, and heads down. 

He turns up in the dark outside a restaurant, lit up by one feeble streetlight. He can feel that Lucifer’s in there, feel it in the burning, crawling sensation under his folded-in wings, so he takes a deep breath and pushes the door open. 

It’s nearly empty, save a table with Calum, dressed in all black, leather jacket catching the light as he gesticulates wildly, frowning. Michael’s opposite him, white shirt setting off his pale skin and blond hair, frowning right back at Calum, lips twisted in a way that Ashton knows firsthand means I know you’re right but I refuse to lose this argument. Lucifer’s sat next to Calum, looking incredibly bored with whatever’s happening, but, almost as though it were an instinct, his eyes are drawn to Ashton, north meeting south. 

Ashton swallows at the dark look in Lucifer’s eyes, and heads over to the table. 

“What?” he says, hoping his voice doesn’t sound as hoarse to everyone else as it does to him. 

“Oh, thank fuck,” Michael says, a look of relief spreading across his face. The curse rings loud and unholy in Ashton’s ears, and makes him wince slightly. Michael barely even notices. “Cal, let’s fucking go.” 

“Wait,” Ashton says, as both Calum and Michael scrape their chairs back, and Michael turns to look at him, faint annoyance etched in his features. 

“What?” he says. 

“What?” Ashton echoes, slightly incredulous. “You call me down here, and then you leave?” Michael shrugs. Ashton cannot believe him. “You said-” he cuts himself off, with a glance at Lucifer, who’s watching the exchange idly. Lucifer doesn’t miss the glance, and a lazy smile spreads across his face when he realises what the look means. 

“I just said I needed you,” Michael points out. 

“For Lucifer.” 

“Yeah, to keep him company,” Michael says, “while me and Cal go off and fuck.” Calum nods seriously at that. Ashton’s going to speak to Him about blanket banning consorting with demons. Michael’s getting worse by the day, and he was never good to begin with. 

“I think he can look after himself,” Ashton bites out, casting Lucifer another glance. Lucifer just looks back at him, amused smile playing on his lips. 

“No,” Michael says, placing a hand on Ashton’s shoulder, and Ashton feels it, feels the full weight of God’s love and holiness thrumming through his veins, heavy in Michael’s touch, stronger than any other angel. He kind of gets why Raphael hates Michael whenever he feels that. “I think you should be there with him.” He says it with the kind of gravity only an archangel can muster, and Ashton has no choice but to nod, because it’s an order. Michael grins at him, quick and easy, all seriousness gone, and pats him on the shoulder, right above his wing. Ashton winces, and falls into the seat Michael had been occupying. 

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” Lucifer calls after Calum and Michael as they head for the door. 

“There’s nothing you wouldn’t do,” Calum shoots back, and Lucifer grins wickedly. 

“Exactly,” he says, and both Michael and Calum roll their eyes fondly - and, okay, when did Michael become fond of Lucifer? Something rolls uncomfortably in Ashton’s stomach at that, but he pushes it aside, focusing on the task at hand. Keep Lucifer entertained. Keep him company. Ashton can do that. 

“So,” Lucifer says, blue eyes flicking to Ashton, lit up and amused. “Just me and you now.” Ashton nods tightly. 

“Looks like it,” he says. That just seems to amuse Lucifer even more, small smile stretching to a full grin. He leans back, tilting his head like he’s scrutinising Ashton, and suddenly there’s a cheeseburger in front of Ashton. 

Okay. Ashton’s not a fan of human food, he really isn’t, but Michael had gone on and on about cheeseburgers for at least fifty years, begging Ashton to come down and try one, and Ashton had eventually relented and said he’d try one if Michael brought one back up, which he’d duly done. It’s been at least forty years since that happened, and Ashton had only managed about ten before he’d caved and started taking the odd secret trip down to Earth for a cheeseburger. Nobody, though, nobody, not even Michael, knows about that. 

“I don’t eat human food,” Ashton says primly, because he doesn’t. Ashton may not be able to lie, but all that’s done is make him very good at bending the truth. 

“You eat cheeseburgers,” Lucifer says, like this is a well-known fact, and not something Ashton’s sworn Michael to secrecy on. 

“I-” Ashton’s cut off with a wince, holy power seizing his tongue, caught in an almost-lie. Lucifer grins, recognising the telltale signs of an angel trying to lie all too well. Ashton clears his throat in a dignified manner, hoping Lucifer can’t see the flush on his cheeks, and tries a different tack. “How do you know that?” Lucifer shrugs. 

“Kept tabs on you,” he says, and then proceeds to reel off Ashton’s cheeseburger order. “Double cheeseburger, extra pickles, no mayo, two tomatoes.” Ashton stares at him. 

“You stalked me?” he says, and it comes out a little strangled. He’s not sure whether that’s the holiness or the fact that his stomach has done, like, a full Olympics gymnastics set at the idea that Lucifer’s been keeping up with him, been watching him from afar. 

“Well, now, stalking is a strong word,” Lucifer says, grinning, because he doesn’t care, he’s the Devil. That thought sends a strong wave of revulsion coursing through Ashton, top to toe, followed immediately with a wave of guilt. He really hopes Raphael’s not tuned in to him right now. The last thing Ashton needs is someone spreading the word that Ashton’s hanging out with Satan. 

“You-” Ashton cuts himself off, because he’s not really sure what he wants to say. Lucifer watches him, half-amused, half-interested. Ashton feels the full weight of something under his gaze, but he’s not sure what it is - holy, sacrilegious, Heaven, Hell - and drops his gaze to the cheeseburger. 

“You should eat it,” Lucifer says casually. Ashton eyes it warily. 

“Do I look like an idiot?” he says. Lucifer rolls his eyes. 

“What, you think I’ve carved a banishing sigil into the lettuce?” he says, like it’s the most ludicrous idea in the world, and then stops. “Hmm. That might be one to try on Michael, actually.” Ashton, because he’s a good friend and an even better angel, dutifully sends a prayer in Michael’s direction informing him as such. Michael doesn’t respond, and Ashton withdraws before he gets too close to the dark spikes of whatever it is that Michael’s currently giving off. 

“I don’t want your food,” Ashton says, because it’s true, he doesn’t want Lucifer’s food, and pushes the cheeseburger away from him childishly. Lucifer rolls his eyes, but pulls the cheeseburger towards himself, and takes a huge bite out of it, holding Ashton’s gaze as he does. Ashton prays for the strength not to watch the line of his throat as he swallows, but He doesn’t seem to be listening. 

“Have you always been this fucking boring?” Lucifer comments idly, licking his finger obscenely, and oh, oh, the repentance for the thoughts that just went through Ashton’s head hits him like a train. He visibly flinches, and Lucifer grins. “Man, you know shit’s a lot more fun when you don’t feel shitty about every thought you have.” 

“I don’t feel bad,” Ashton grits out, because he doesn’t. Repentance is a necessary consequence of sin, and he always feels good that he’s repented. Lucifer shrugs, and takes another bite of the burger. Ashton swallows, not entirely because he kind of wishes the burger were going down his throat instead of Lucifer’s. Like he knows what Ashton’s thinking, Lucifer quirks a brow at him. 

“You can still have some,” he offers. 

“I-” Ashton winces again, unable to say I don’t want any, because he does, he really does. Lucifer laughs, and pushes the burger back towards Ashton, but there’s something fond in his eyes, and it makes Ashton feel a little sick with something that he tries not to identify as guilt. 

“Eat,” he says, and it’s soft, it’s gentle, and it breaks Ashton’s heart into a million pieces. The Devil shouldn’t have it in him to care about anyone, least of all Ashton. 

Ashton can’t rid himself of that sneaking suspicion, though, staring at the burger in trepidation, and Lucifer sighs. 

“You really don’t trust me, huh?” he says, and there’s a note of bitterness in his voice. Ashton hates it, hates himself more for causing it, hates the guilt and confusion that washes over him as an immediate consequence of both of those thoughts. 

“You are the Devil,” Ashton points out, and Lucifer huffs out a laugh. 

“I’d never fuck with my second-favourite angel,” he says solemnly. 

“I’m glad Michael’s safe, then,” Ashton shoots back before he can stop himself, and Lucifer grins, shaking his head. 

“Why do I love you?” he says, and there’s something so raw and wistful in his tone that Ashton wants to cry, wants to reach out, wants to tell him I’m sorry, I’m wish I could make it better, I wish I could fix this, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I wish I’d never loved you, I wish I’d found a way to stop loving you. 

Instead of saying anything, because nothing would be enough, and anything would be too much, he reaches forwards, picks up the burger, and brings it to his lips.

The radiant smile Lucifer gives him is all angel, no Devil. 

[yourfavgoodgirl]

Day 1:Happy New Year! Any hopes for the new year? (TC or non TC related?)

i hope to stay in contact with him, and i hope to see him irl again (corona please)

Day 2: Do you have any nicknames/codenames that you call your TC? Do they have any they call you?

my nickname for him is “the most beautiful handsome gorgeous man in the entire world” but just in my head

Day 3: Describe the moment you knew they were more than just another teacher.

when he gave me some ✨attention✨ and just kinda noticed something about me that most people don’t

Day 5: What’s the age gap? Did you ever think you would fall for someone that much older? Are you comfortable with the age gap?

24-25 years and like i appreciate men of all ages (okay that sounded weird i swear i’m not a catholic priest) so i’m not surprised but i didn’t really think about it you know?? am i making sense. but i’m okay but i wish it was smaller just so there would be a bigger chance

Day 6: Describe the first time you saw/met them. How did you meet? What was it like? Were you automatically attracted or did it take some time?

i honestly don’t remember. i didn’t really pay much attention to him at first, i mean not saying i don’t appreciate some good looks on a man but all of my crushes are personality first looks second.

Day 7: Do you plan on keeping contact with your TC after graduation? How do you plan on doing it? If you’re graduated, have you kept in contact? How have you managed that?

honestly i don’t knowwwwwwwww i graduated and i’ve spoken to him once i’m too scared to message him because i feel like i’m bothering him and i don’t want to look like a dumb schoolgirl with a desperate crush even though that is 100% what i am

Day 8: Is there something that tends to remind you of them? Like a sport, food, animal, etc…?

he loves cats. and some songs. and also everything

Day 9: Do you have a memory you are particularly fond of with your TC? Any cute stories?

i really wanna say but it’s too specific. but any praise he’s given me i just store in my brain forever and replay

Day 10: Have you ever touched your TC? Like a hug or a brush of the hand?

i just realised i haven’t lolzzzzzzzz this doesn’t bother me at all ha h a

Day 11: How often do you talk to them? Do you talk to them outside of school?

nope because i am dumb and scared and have no social skills

Day 12: Have you ever had any previous TC’s? What were they like?

nopeee my love is for this stupid teacher only

Day 13: If it were to happen, how do you imagine the perfect kiss going down with your TC? If by chance you have kissed your TC, how did it happen?

WHO HAS KISSED THEIR TC AND IS STILL ON TUMBLR ANSWERING QUESTIONS if it wasn’t obvious no it has not happened to me but i would be in his house on his bed and he’ll just kiss me it dosen’t have to be long but just the kind that says i love you without any words aaaaaaa i’m so alone

Day 14: Do you truly believe there is a chance that they’re interested in you? Has anyone else pointed out that maybe you’re special to you’re TC?

okay so i don’t know. like obviously if you ask me to bet a million dollars on wether he likes me i’ll say he doesn’t. but when it’s 3am and i’m in my bed i think what if. WHAT IF.

Day 15: Have you ever gotten them a gift? If so, what was it?

yes and just food unfortunately. i wish i gave more but it would be weird and i’m trying not to be even more obvious about my crush

Day 17: If you had to pick one feature about them, physical or personality, what would be your favorite?

okay so i saw this tiktok about like people always like the cocky anime characters with the skills to back it up and i just thought of him instantly (not that he’s an anime character). but his dumb cocky and confident attitude is just everything i want and more

Day 18: Do you know of anything they do outside of work? What do they enjoy doing in their free time?

he plays the guitar and sings <3

Day 19: What goes on for you when you see them? How does your body react?

i will be surprised and look away. i can’t keep eye contact with him. and sometimes i just don’t know what to do and i’ll just ignore him. IM SO DUMB WHY AM I LIKE THIS

Day 20: What have you done, or what would you do, to spend more time with them? Join a club/sport they’re in charge of? Sign up for an extra class they teach?

i would do anything that won’t give my crush away. but like i’m so lazy. i avoid doing anything. people are already suspicious and i really don’t want my crush to be known (unless it’s on tumblr <3)

Day 21: How often do you dream about them? What do the dreams usually consist of?

my dreams are so weird. for me i’ll go though phases of no dreams and just ten a day (i nap a lot). i will say about a third of my dreams involve him but not in a romantic way, unless you call me desperately trying to talk to him romantic.

Day 22: What’s a little detail you’ve noticed about them that you aren’t even sure they’re aware of? Do the run their hand through their hair often? Do they subconsciously bite their lip?

i don’t know if this counts but i often stare at him from afar (yes i’m a stalker what about it) and he walks with his chest puffed and head high. like really really really confidently. i miss trying to catch glimpses of him at school </3

Day 23: If they weren’t a teacher, what do you think they should be?

my husband <3 i think he can hold two jobs well, he’s a great multitasker

Day 24: Do you think other people in your school may have feelings towards them too? Why?

yes, because he is the most perfect being (human or otherwise) like, ever

Day 25: What are their classes like? Do they talk a lot? Is it mostly independent work? Are there a lot of notes?

i miss the discussions

Day 26: How would you describe their personality?

dumb. stupid. annoying.

Day 27: What’s the weirdest thing they’ve ever worn?

omg I WANT TO SAY THIS BUT I CANT UGH THE HORROR

Day 28: What’s something you don’t quite fancy about them? A quirk you find odd? A physical trait that you aren’t a fan of?

sometimes he can be surprisingly by the book. i am kinda a rebel (yes it’s hard being so cool) so that rubs me the wrong way but sometimes i break rules or make another teacher mad and he’ll just laugh and smile and ugh i love him

Day 29: How long have you had a crush on them?

jesus christ i just realised it’s already my fourth year pining over this man. someone help

Day 30: Write a poem (short or long) about your TC.

y’all really overestimating my literary skills. but here’s a haiku

please i’m so sad

all because of this dumb man

i want to kiss him

Day 31: Do you have anyone in your life who knows about your TC? Anyone you can talk to?

i told a friend that i thought he’s cute but she totally does not get the extent of it and aaaa there’s another girl that’s totally onto me but i’m not really her friend and she’s the type who can’t keep her mouth shut so

[cordovcs]

✩ °｡— hi omg ok let’s get into this good, fun & fresh content & lemme introduce u to my lil bi sexual hellion who has tequila running thru her bloodstream & oh ya hi i’m annie, 23, she / her plot w me i want u to hurt me worse than shonda rhimes has ever dared to idk bye

name: hello this is indigo capri cordova 

sexual orientation: bi as fuck

birthplace: west hollywood, california 

major: communications 

spoken languages: english 

zoadic: psycho 

- hello this is indigo

- alright, to set the scene... let’s imagine that there is a beautiful image of a car before us; however, that car is surrounded by dark smoke bc that said car is absolutely engulfed in flames bc it’s driver is an #idiot 

- but also imagine within that image of total chaos & destruction that the driver... yes the one i mentioned previously as an #idiot... is still there... but this bitch is throwing up deuces & taking selfies 

- that is indigo 

- but more importantly here:

— first-born into wealthy, powerful family & was raised by her father, an influential diplomat & european oil tycoon, & her mother, a famed american socialite with ties to many corrupt government families. basically, her mother was her father’s entire world … ten years younger than him, a trust fund that kept her occupied, & a taste for adventure —  he devoted himself to her &her only … indi was simply just a factor in his adoration, as her mother craved maternity & of course, her father would do anything to please her, even if that meant creating a child he did not care for. 

— as she matured ( if u could even say she’s mature ?? idk ) & learned of her father’s distaste for her, she began to act out … wild parties, late night conquests with strangers that lurked outside of the club, & lethal cocktails of drugs & alcohol. at first, it was just to anger her father, but it soon became a way of life for her. now, despite having been in & out of rehab for a mixture of reasons, it’s a miracle to catch her sober who knows what this week’s cocktail is

— unfortunately, like her father, indi struggles with addiction in many forms. there’s something about the feeling of elevation that comes with each sip of tequila as it leaves a burning trace down her esophagus, each drag of a burning cigarette … it’s an escape. but, she’ll never truly admit that she has a problem, no matter how many stints of rehab she serves.

— however, there are some euphoric rushes that are unattainable by drugs &alcohol only.  which, y’know, explains why so many of the anecdotes of her past occurred ; from the four-wheeling accident in the hills of malibu that left her twelve year old self with a crown of stitches carefully detailed above her right eyebrow, hanging over the edge at devil’s pool while visiting victoria falls on a sudden trip to south africa last year, the countless automobile accidents that have been brushed off as her ‘terrible’ driving skills, they are all her heroin. if you’re only on this earth for a handful of years, why not enjoy pressing that gas pedal to the floor & see how far you can go ??

— lust, euphoria, & chaotic control … these are the sins that drive her entire being. red lips kissed around a lit cigarette, smoke curling upwards, & eyes devouring the svelte body before her; indigo exudes an ominous & enticing aura, but that’s what is captivating about her. it’s her siren-like facade that pulls you in & refuses to let you go.

— she’s a drug, malignant & bewitching, her delicate words interlace w your inner demons, calling upon them & feeding your deepest, darkest desires. when she enters a room, all eyes fall to her, watching & analyzing. she enjoys to elicit fear or unease, to keep others watching her & following. her greatest fear is losing control of what she has, forbidden to uproot time &time again in search of her next greatest adrenaline rush ( which, by the way, she’s a total adrenaline junky ).

— most of these actions, of course, were highlighted thoroughly on television for several of her adolescent years when her family signed a multi-million dollar contract for a reality show … her family is basically the kardashians, ok ? while it may seem gr8 to have a television show & acquire fame through that, there were many downsides …. one of which was her father’s involvement in an embezzlement scheme before her eighteenth birthday ? bASICALLY his illicit actions & their outcome were showcased on national tv & that really had an impact on indi’s life ?? the tabloids already targeted her bc of her wild ways, but now the entire world was analyzing her family & talking shit which caused her to grow an even thicker shell & fight back with even more vicious words.

— but now 

— rn she is basically paris hilton on the simple life except a lil smarter, less juicy tracksuits, & she cut off basically all of her family to tRY to be normal on her own which ig is why she is here 

— she’s somewhat of a mad scientist when it comes to writing music ? like, full on goes rouge for a matter of days & locks herself away in a room with a bottle of tequila & a pack of marlboro lights. she carries around a lil leather black book with her at all times , where she will literally stop in the middle of whatever she’s doing ( whether that be a film shoot, a night at the club, during conversation ) just to write down her thought process or newfound muse. it includes everything from names, how an intimate kiss felt, poetry, colors, etc. there’s probably half-written songs within the pages. oH !! & she never, ever lets anyone touch it or read it … like, she would lose her absolute shit if it somehow got beyond her hands.

- but tbh she doesnt kno why she is studying communications when she could study music 

[elenajohansenauthor]

10/10/10 Tag Game

@writing-with-melon tagged me, thank you!

Rules: Answer ten 10 questions, ask 10, and tag 10 people

Questions from my tagger:

1. What song automatically plays in your head when you look out the window on a long drive?

I don't have just one, my head is so stuffed full of music. If I went on a road trip right now, though, I'd bet on "Shooting Stars" by Rival Sons.

2. Do you have some snacks nearby when you write?

Rarely. I'm more likely to have a mug of tea or glass of water to hand, then when I get hungry, take a break from writing to grab a snack.

3. What do you do to combat creative burnout?

Switch to a different form of creativity. I know how to do half a million crafts, because that was My Thing growing up, so if I'm burned out on writing, I'll pick up my knitting. If I'm tired of my knitting, I'll pick up something from my giant clothing pile to mend or alter. If my sewing machine is pissing me off, I'll play around in my art journal. If none of that appeals, maybe I’ll teach myself something new from a video tutorial. The creativity never goes away, it just changes directions sometimes.

4. Do you use (or like to use) prompts?

I go in phases with this. I wrote a weekly serial for my blog back in 2015 based entirely on prompts. The first half of my NaNo 2018 novel was actually written the month before, during Fictober18 with its daily prompts (I wrote the back half of the novel through NaNo and early December.) I do occasionally respond to prompts with flash fiction, though in general I'm too busy with larger projects to do prompts as much as I used to.

5. What is your favorite place to write?

I do 95% of my writing at my computer desk, typing. I will take a journal with me to write elsewhere--sometimes I can squeeze a little time in at work--but I can never count on that.

6. What is a hobby of yours that you usually don’t talk about?

I'm pretty sure I've mentioned all my major hobbies before on the blog. I suppose I don't actually talk about video games much directly, though I do play a fair bit, so we'll go with that one. (ANIMAL CROSSING STARTS TODAY OMG I’M TOTALLY DISAPPEARING AFTER THIS SO HUBS AND I CAN START OUR ISLAND.)

7. Do you play an instrument? Which one?

My voice is my instrument, I did many years of choir throughout my entire school career, including college, with some more intensive vocal training when I was in high school, the two years I was in a female a capella ensemble.

8. How do you feel about your handwriting?

It used to be neater when I still had to write by hand all the time (taking notes in school) and also before I got my concussion in college. I've told this story before, but short version, the aftereffects I ended up with for a few weeks while my brain healed were short term memory loss and mild narcolepsy. (The best for a college student! Yay! /s) When I went back at the end of the semester to study my notes, my handwriting changed noticeably between the day before the concussion and the day I went back to class. It was still recognizable as mine, with the same sort of stylistic bits, but it was definitely not as neat.

9. Can you tell us of a story that marked your development as a person? As a writer?

When I discovered NaNoWriMo in 2003. I didn't actually do it during November, I heard about it just shy of Christmas. But that was the year after I graduated college, and I was living with my now-husband during his senior year, and he'd gone "home" to his parents over Christmas break, but I had to stay in town because of my job. So I was alone for nearly a month (school breaks halved the population of the town, and I wasn't working the whole time) so I did my own NaNo then. I didn't actually finish the novel, and it's long lost to the ages of dead hard drives, but it was the first time I really sat down to write something long-form in a concentrated way, instead of banging out a short story randomly when I was inspired.

10. Explain one of your WIPs in the most ridiculous way possible.

So two siblings and some of their childhood friends start a rock band, give up on the rock band to go to college, meet people in college who want to be in their band, start it back up, and somehow get famous and successful long enough for it to fall apart disastrously in a bus crash on tour.

Fifty-Five Days is what happens *after* all of that. Three years after, in fact. It has three visibly queer people, another who trips on a fight and falls out of the closet in the process, some mutual pining, a secret and temporary fling, a cover song contest, and a deep and abiding appreciation for waffles, king of all breakfast foods.

My questions:

1. How are you feeling right now? Doing okay? Keeping sane? 2. What is your favorite smell? 3. What do you value most in a story--plot, characters, theme, or world-building? 4. If one of your OCs could adopt any animal (real or imaginary) as a pet, what would it be and why? 5. What's your writing goal(s) for 2020? 6. Do you have any other major goals this year you're working on? 7. How do you feel about waffles, king of all breakfast foods? 8. Is there a skill or craft you don't know now that you would like to learn? 9. What are you reading right now (or did you read most recently) and would you recommend it? 10. (I will also keep this 10th question going-->) Explain one of your WIPs in the most ridiculous way possible.

I’m tagging: @dragonosaurs @cabaretofwords @nicolawritesnovels @pipingplver @thatsmybluefondue @heldinhishands @morganwriteblr @linneaeliam @crowandmoonwriting @silvertalonwriteblr

As always, if you’d rather not, feel free to skip this!

[agnetafrieberg]

blah blah blah i hate myself im so sad gay panic blah blah blah death

sdfjosa934804590

i sound like a broken record and there are times when i actually get really sick of it. writing it down helps in the sense that when i try to get my head out of my ugly ass for a minute and think rationally, i realize it’s all so minor and stupid and mostly selfish. i have the same conflicting, melancholic issues people my age have and pretty much every human being experience at some point. i wouldn’t even say i have ‘trauma’ because, well of course i’ve heard messed up shit and i’ve been in uncomfortable situations and i was an outcast teen. and so do millions (literally) of people around the world. i’m just way too self absorbed and dramatic. i think i like attention more than i’d like to admit. not from strangers, mind you, but from my loved ones. i write down the things i feel in the moment and after a while when i go back to them, it’s almost like second hand embarrassment. i see other people’s problems and i feel almost disgusted by myself for all the things i have said about my own problems. you know how often neurotypicals say that all problems can be solved and death is not the solution etc. i don’t agree entirely, but i do recognize that >my ‘problems can be solved indeed. it’s just my messed up head that apparently can’t.

i don’t feel like i know myself but the little i know i’ve always recognized that since the beginning i’ve been a weirdo. the internet is cool because it’s the worldwide weirdo convention, i’ve read people who seem to be pretty much identical to me. i’m just trying to get it together and follow a rational path of thoughts but it’s hard, everything i write just seems stupid and worthless. anyway. at the moment i don’t feel like pointing fingers at other people and i’m not going to, but i’ve been called selfish and the more i self reflect, i start to agree with this. i value, i love and i care about the good people i have in my life even though every single one of my latest actions point otherwise. i think that feeling like ‘a burden’ and the idea of constantly disappointing and hurting others etc is what drives me nutty in the first place. and also the idea of being ‘unloveable’, of course. hence, i enjoy the attention. my mind literally starts doing cartwheels when i think about that stuff. which i do, a lot.

and it’s the same old deal, man. ‘i am so ugly, i am so awkward, i am so lonely, i am so stupid, i am so worthless, i am so pathetic, i am so hopeless (...) i destroy everything, i hurt everyone, i can’t do anything right, nobody likes me (...)’ like i said i always felt a bit off, generally speaking, but some ten or eleven years ago these thoughts became so consuming and suffocating. they suffocate me everyday. you know when you’re with a kid, and they won’t stop moving and jumping around and yelling and doing headstands and freaking out and you’re like omg just fucking stop why can’t you sit still? and you’re so mad because you just want them to stop! the situation with my whacky brain is basically that way. i get tired and i just want it to stop, but the energy doesn’t end, apparently.

idk i still care about myself in a way that when i see my mind is doing its fucking cartwheels again, it concerns me a bit. like last july when i tried to off myself. i don’t wanna go back to the hospital, it’s truly a messed up place to be in. i said i don’t have trauma, but scratch that and add: the hospital trauma! geez, those couple days kicked my ass real good. in a way it was the ‘wake up call’ i was probably needing. i did what so many suicidal folks do: swallowed a bunch of pills, obviously didn’t think it through, made a fool out of myself, lots of drama (ambulance sirens kinda drama), put family through hell, etc. the days i spent in the hospital were 97% crying, the rest just staring at the nurses, watching the news and napping. when i got out of that nightmare, i actually had one of the happiest phases of my life because i was so glad to be in my house and out of pain and with my family and loved ones. and yet, and yet, months later to the date and i feel like i should have done it ‘better’ and it should have ‘worked’ because i’m in very bad pain again :-) {she’s so full of shit...}

i can’t see a future for myself, and i’m being honest when i say this. right now, i see nada. i have no willpower to build a future. shit, i have no willpower to even shave my legs or brush my hair. suicide to me is what celebrity crushes are to general people: it’s on my mind a lot. sometimes all the time. sometimes obsessively. 

my family wants me to stay, and i love them enough to do so, but... i don’t want to be selfish, i don’t want to be a bad person, i don’t want to be an useless adult, i don’t want to hurt others, i don’t want to hurt myself. yet i keep doing these things. agh! help?

as-i3404ri°?490

gonna hand this as a note to my folks, wrote it down here first for accessibility and laziness motives. i feel like taking my social isolation a bit further. i don’t feel like doing much of anything except sleeping and being around my mom and our dog. haven’t done a queue for personal blog in ages, but did one today. i need a detox. from myself. what a bitch. if someone read this, peace. until we meet again 💋

[amwritingmeta]

MCM Comic Con London

Heyyyy, my loves!

I went to my first ever Comic Con on Sunday. I know! First ever?? How could this be? What did you make of it? Did you hug a Storm Trooper? Did you get lost in this huge enormous vast building with huge enormous vast rooms filled with huge enormous vast groups of people? Did you pet the TARDIS? Did you meet RAPUNZEL? DID YOU SEE DEADPOOL?? DARTH VADER?? Did you make a friend? Did you dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?? Do tell!!

Alrighty, then! (I’m afraid I’m going to prove a huuuuuge disappointment) (but there’s Misha panel commentary further down m’kay?)

So, here’s what I learned about myself from visiting Comic Con: I like small, intimate spaces with assigned seating.

Yeah. I know. Told you that you’d be disappointed. 

It’s basically why I haven’t been to Comic Con before tbh. I knew I’d enjoy milling about and looking at merchandise and graphic novels and oh the fan art and seeing the TARDIS (I did see her but I did not pet her) and R2D2 (he moved around and talked to people and everything) *feelings* and passing Darth Vader in the hallway (true story) and just being in a space filled with people nerding out together like YES. My heart was very full. 

But.

(oh here it comes)

My nerdy heart is pretty much sequestered by SPN. While I enjoy the original Star Wars very, very much because epic (obviously) and have enjoyed Doctor Who (on and off) and while I’m a big GoT fan (yes I shall remain so thanks to the books never mind what they did on those final two episodes of the show but also do not get me starts on what they fucking even DID) and I fucking love Disney and anime and animation of any kind, and have a huge respect and interest for the artistry of graphic noveling, that’s just not my world. 

(I do want to start reading graphic novels though and I’ve been so close to ordering the BtVS ones but... anyone have solid suggestions or advice on where to start, hit me up in DM) (I’ve read a few where the art has been unspeakably gorgeous and just mh!)

But because I’m not deep in anything even approaching a multi-fandom attitude, they just don’t grab at me, you know?

So though I’m so fucking happy that I went - truly am (and nope I did not dress up and though I know I’d enjoy it because who wouldn’t enjoy dressing up as Kahlan from Legend of the Seeker? End of the day, the dressing up is more fun when going with a group of people...) (anyway) - it’s not quite my cuppa. That being said, if Misha comes again next year *dirty* then I’m there. I mean, it’s one tube ride from my place. How the fuck could I not? 

Okay, before those three sentences make me say things I’ll regret in the morning, let’s talk about The Panel!

I’m actually going to open with something that Misha kind of threw out there in the middle of the panel because it made me so excited: he may direct in S15! Ahahahah yes please! I really hope he gets to!

Now, what else?

Highlights for me were:

Him talking about the fandom in his warmest tones, which is something he does on the regular, but he spoke of the positivity of the intensity of our community and how he thinks it’s been really cool to be a part of it and to do charitable work together (hundreds of thousands of volunteer hours and millions of dollars into worthy causes over the years, so kudos, guys, kudos) It’s a wonderful, surreal phenomenon. *his words* *and so very true* (and we all know this is how he feels, but it’s always lovely for him to restate it)

Ruth sending a video message and prompting Misha to talk about when Amara carved the I Am Coming message into Cas’ chest (and Misha thinking Lucifer carved the message and promptly dismissing us correcting him) *snortlaugh* Has everyone heard this story? Because I actually hadn’t. That Misha was making corresponding noises and facial expression to really convey the message and the only thing was that the top brass at the CW were conducting their yearly set visit and were, in fact, standing at the monitor watching him. *MCM audience laugh track* *aw Misha*

Talking about how close the cast is and how much they enjoy JiB, and how they laugh themselves into shape in the Green Room every year. Admittedly the six pack is a lie, but the aching stomach muscles are a truth. *not jealous because the rest of us are having Just As Much Fun In Our Corner* >.>

When asked what he’ll miss most about the show: the fun they have on set and the people, including the crew, since they all know each other so well and have grown up together. But also he’ll miss the Supernatural community. He knows it won’t go away immediately, but, as these things go, it will dwindle. He’ll miss the fire and intensity that is there when the show is on the air. 

Which is fair, because there will be a dropping off, there will be a slowing down, it’s inevitable, but I honestly can’t see this family ever just dispersing entirely. And I almost wanted to get up there and suggest to him that they consider keeping the JiB torch burning, because giving this community of ours a few set points of warmth each year where people (if they so choose) get to interact with them while also getting to reunite with people we don’t otherwise get to see often and to have those points of warmth to aim for and gather around is a sure-fire way to keep the flame alive. Right? I’m not expecting them to continue doing the con circuit because omfg no, but to have one or two points a year...

Anyway.

Misha trying to do a Scottish accent makes him sound like a leprechaun with a lisp. *ehehe*

Misha telling us that the writers gave them the option to draw out the story for another two-three seasons, or land it in one kick-ass final season, and they all chose one kick-ass final season, which makes me so happy for them, that they get to finish strong and on their terms. It’s so well-deserved.

(I think I’m just going through the panel moment-by-moment at this point) (the panel was apparently the highlight)

Him talking about The Adventurous Eaters Club - the cookbook he’s writing with Vicki that I cannot wait to read, tbh, because I do believe kids often say no at the dinner table because they’re trying to stay in control of the situation, rather than them not really wanting to eat, and as a grown-up, recognising this and relenting control and allowing them free reign to be a part of building their dinner from the ground up and getting them excited about food and understanding the process of actually creating a meal is so damn healthy. Well, if that’s the objective of the cookbook! Just what I’m taking from the premise, but, hands against heart, I adore them both.

Talking about his favourite vehicles for Cas and saying that he’d love for Cas to get a smart car and squeeze Sam into the passenger seat and omfg PLEASE yes. *the imagery is so  e n t i c i n g*

Going full-meta and talking about Cas’ travails going to get the fruit of life without his wings in S13, looking up a flight on Expedia, sitting squished into the middle seat, saying no thank you to food, getting through customs with that bag of fruit, probably getting held up. (quite impressive actually because this happened more than a season ago and clearly he’s given the story gap some thought) (and he remembers) (astonishing) 

*^^^ sarcasm, guys* *sarcasm* :)

If Cas gets to be happy, he will die (my addition: unless he’s, you know, human) :P

Cas’ wings are rainbow (and I’m immediately thinking of them almost like peacock *shhhh don’t even start* feathers that shift tone in the light so that they shimmer rather than are divided up into single colour feathers in a rainbow pattern) (wow I took that seriously af) (but mh gorgeous wings!)

Maison is a goddamn rockstar. *not literally but internally* :)

Okay, so that’s the panel done. And dusted. *sparkly*

And then I met up with a friend of a friend who I’d actually met briefly at JiB - her name is Katie - and I stood in line with her as she waited for Misha autos and I met the loveliest Scottish bloke named Oliver, mostly because I desperately needed to charge my mobile and just said out loud “Does anyone have a mobile charger” and the blessed man turned around and said “Yes, I have one”, so he lent me his mobile charger and was gushing over his photo-op with Misha (it really is the most adorable photo ever) and Oliver was entirely flustered with happiness and just *my heart strings* and then he fucked off and didn’t come back for his charger! 

He just disappeared! Without as much as a by-your-leave!

So we waited. And waited. It was terrible. Having to stand there. Not knowing. Okay, kidding, but we did wait and wait and tried to look for him, but he just didn’t come back.

But just now, ten minutes ago, he followed me on Twitter!! I just accosted him going OMG IT IS YOU IS IT NOT! Do I have your charger?? And it is he and now I don’t have to have a guilty conscience anymore, though I did ease it by thinking that he was the one who literally effed the fuck off and didn’t return. Anyway. What drama, huh? Guess that’s Comic Con, for you. And I got to add the resolution! *sweet*

It was a grand old indoor day and then we went down to the river for food and lots of alcoholic really-really-tasty beverages and good company. 

The End.

[chocafe]

— ygtb ep. 9 reaction

hi there! i decided to write my reactions and thoughts on episode nine as i watched it. the way i wrote everything was pretty messy, so just click “keep reading” if you would like to continue on since i wrote quite a lot! if you haven’t seen episode nine, then this is my warning for you to not continue ahead since this contains spoilers.

i got a batch of cookies and the video is on 1080p i think i am ready

but i’m not mentally ready

i love it how ygtb gets straight to the point within one minute, but produce 101 is over here taking fifteen minutes to even get the episode started

ya’ll think i can find the fansite i bought my junkyu slogan from in the audience?

IM SICK AND TIRED OF SEEING THE ADIDAS LOGO WE GET IT YOU GET MORE SCREEN TIME THAN THE ACTUAL TRAINEES DO

omg the voting system its giving me produce 101/48 flashbacks i don’t deserve this

˗ˏˋ boomerang team ˎˊ˗

hyunsuk’s new hair color looks so nice on him ♡____♡  im still a blonde!hyunsuk supremacist though

out of all wanna one songs they chose boomerang

there’s burn it up, beautiful, light, and literally every wanna one song

but they chose boomerang with their whole chest

Wannables We Attack

HUH SLEEVELESS HYUNSUK

oh my god hyunsuk’s roots are overgrown now i know why they needed to dye his hair

jihoon cant say he’s fine when he just messed up his knee im really going to (softly) punch him :(((

HIS WING WING WING WING WAS SO SOFT

perhaps yoshinori is a rap god

yeongue gives me <major> daehwi vibes in this performance

i know i’m supposed to take him serious in this, but uwu my son

jihoon singing seongwoo’s part? huuuuuuuuuuuuuuh my mf heart has just crumbled into a million of pieces!

it’s a win for me tonight #Haylees1stWin

SHUT UPPPP I DONT WHAT THE FUCK HYUNSUK IS RAPPING ABOUT BUT I LOVE HIS RAPPING SO MUCH

dohwan needed more “shinning parts” in the performance (╥﹏╥)

i feel bad because everyone was given a part to stand out, but dohwan really wasn’t given one to showcase his abilities (unless the editors cut it out since they don’t show us the whole performance)

imagine if i was in this crowd and i just bribe everyone around me with money to vote for my favorite trainee

˗ˏˋ growl team ˎˊ˗

this is like when you play dodge ball and people choose their teammates, but you’re the last one to get chosen

except, that’s everyone in the growl team

:-(

they got stuck with the “left over song” but growl is a TIMELESS BOP. PERIOD.

jaehyuk keeps on burdening himself and that truly makes me upset because i’ve been in his position before

it’s okay to cry and it’s okay to be where he’s at because he has time to improve himself and prove everyone wrong

they really made this stage their own red carpet

i really liked how the camera followed them on stage since that’s exactly how exo used to perform growl

the performance was good because you have to take into account that they have all only been trainees for a few months

˗ˏˋ dumb and dumber team ˎˊ˗

dumb and dumber team is here to take the #1 spot

BYOUNGGON WITH HIS HUGE ASS BEANIE IS SO FREAKING CUTE I LOVE THIS MAN

bex made his appearance again- we stan!

“i don’t understand what’s happening” me when my teacher chooses me to answer a question in front of the whole class

the dumb and dumber team was so good??? like i was really immersed in the performance??

they especially did a great job when they came down to perform RIGHT in front of the fans because i know a majority of fans love it when idols come down in the middle of a performance/concert and interact with them in some way or another

it was like a concert where everyone’s favorite parts are when the idols disperse and just have fun on stage and feel the same energy as the hyped up fans

no wonder they got #1

oh yeah and btw i spoiled everything by reading kfan tweets last week so i know all of the team ranks, who got eliminated, ect.

my friend texted me just now telling me that we predicted everything except for the last ten minutes so i guess i wont be surprised until the ending

anyways . . . let’s get it

˗ˏˋ dna team ˎˊ˗

wait what? weren’t they supposed to show us winner mentoring the dna team

that’s it?

okay

THEY MADE HARUTO SING TAEHYUNG’S PART BECAUSE THEY HAVE A SIMILAR LOW VOCAL RANGE ARGHHHDHSSH I APPROVE

haruto: TAKE IT

keita: ᵗᵃᵏᵉ ᶦᵗ

THE RODENT IN MY ATTIC IS FINALLY COMPLIMENTING SEUNGHUN

IT IS WHAT HE DESERVES WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG TO YOU HAG

it took yg two years to finally notice seunghun’s potential while it took me one minute

petition to have me as the new ceo

they literally said hey everyone in the audience hold up for like 10 minutes we need to bring out these light up podiums

hmmmmmmm

hmmmamamama

hhhyyayyyuahajs

im going to start cryinfdds

HSJFLSJFLSKSFL

THIS IS BITTERSWEET BECAUSE DUMB&DUMBER ARE HAPPY THAT THEY WON BUT THAT MEANS THE TRAINEES THEY’VE TRAINED WITH HAVE THE HIGHEST POTENTIAL OF BEING ELIMINATED REALLY MY HEART HURTS

I DONT LIKE THIS FEELING MARTY IM SCARED

im screaming “dont cry” at my laptop screen but why am i crying at the same time

“CHAIRMAN YANG PLEASE LOOK THIS WAY”

me in the crowd: *throws an egg at him and runs off*

WE RIOT

LADIES AND HATED HUMAN BEINGS WE RIOT

ALL MY HATERS GON RIOT WE GON MOB YG

yg use your card

yg bring seunghun and keita back

I SAW RUMORS SAYING HE BRINGS ONE OR BOTH OF THEM BACK SO YG PLEASE JUST BRING THEM BACK

keita telling seunghun that they did well because he’s always seen as the positive/happy kid, but he’s also on the verge of tearing up :(((((

keita sweetie its okay to cry too

and seunghun being mostly disappointed that he’s failing his mother like sweetie ITS ALRIGHT YOUR MOTHER IS PROUD OF YOU NO MATTER WHAT

i hate survival shows why do i still watch these stuff

hi i actually stopped writing my reactions after this because i was a little bitch and couldnt type anymore so i just went to go spam my friends with audio messages of me yelling

maybe i can upload my audios i sent my friends if they’re not too annoying (trust me, they’re annoying)

anyways thanks for coming to my ted talk

seunghun will rise again

the editors are trying to make it a surprise when seunghun is the only trainee wearing a grey(?) sweater, with a red font, black undershirt and light washed blue jeans

SEUNGHUN NATION MAKE SOME NOISE

SEUNGHUN!!!! WHEN!! YOU!!! SMILE!!! IT!! MAKES!!! ME!!! HAPPY!!!!!!!!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #190

“i haven’t slept since i woke up.”

Do you prefer your nails long or short? Why? Short. It's annoying how long ones tap when I type and such. Are you still in touch with your best friend from high school? No. Have you ever visited any celebrity gravesites? No. How do you feel about archaeology? Cool as shit. What are your thoughts on gun control? Don't outlaw them, but make them much harder to obtain. Have you ever had an exotic pet? Do snakes and lizards count? Have you ever had to block people online for harassing you? Yes. What kind of socks do you prefer to wear? (Crew, ankle, knee, etc) Idk, the normal ones. Are you friends with anybody you didn’t like at first? I'm dating her lmao. What is your favorite thing to do on The Sims? Don't play it. Have you dyed your hair more than once (and different colors)? Yup. Which hair color you’ve had has been your favorite? Red or purple. Your favorite place to be aside from your home? Sara's house. If you were stupid-rich, would you ever actually want a mansion? Omg no. Did you ever sit alone at lunch in school? I did that a lot. Did random people come sit with you to try to be nice? I don't believe so. Do you know anybody who puts ketchup on their mac n cheese? Probably, and they need to be arrested. What is your least favorite beverage? Out of everything I've ever tasted, some kind of white wine. Any old home remedies you use when you’re sick? The classic sipping on ginger ale. When was the last time you wore a full face of makeup? Forever ago for a picture. Do you own an iPad? No. What’s the most hours you’ve worked in a week? N/A Do you believe in karma? No. What’s an achievement you hope to see humanity accomplish in your lifetime? See great improvement in the health of the ozone and see the work put towards conservation beginning to show well. Do you have a difficult time relating to other’s emotions? NOPE. Have you ever bathed in a river or a lake? No. Have you ever had a dream in which you died? Yes. What was your favorite school subject when you were in middle school? Science. Do you wish vampires existed? um no the fuck At the moment what is your favorite song? I'm on a "Stressed Out" by TOP thing. Have you ever been pantsed? No. Do you keep up with pop culture? No. Did you ever like barbies? Do you currently like barbies? Not especially, but I played with them if my sis or friends wanted to. I've no interest in them now. What turns you off in the opposite sex? Everyone fancies the opposing sex??????????? That's news to me. But whatever, arrogance, for one. What kind of gum do you chew most often? Your favorite flavor? Probably uh... really idk. I don't buy it and will just take what someone offers. My fave flavor is watermelon or strawberry. What’s your favorite hit song right now? I have noooo clue what's hot rn. Well, I heard "High Hopes" by P!atD on the radio not too long ago, which I adore. Do you ever ask random questions to see people’s reactions? No. Do you like to people watch? Not particularly. Are you a very patient type of person? NO. NO. N-O. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. What’s your favorite element? (fire, water, air) Fireee. Do you have a Zwinky? IMVU? No. Have you ever had a Neopets? Yesssss, my computer addiction began there lmao. When you were younger didn’t you just love Pokemon? ADDICT. Do you currently love Pokemon? YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Have you ever been to a wild party? No. How many friends do you have on Myspace? Hell if I know. Are you one of those people who get car sick? No. Have you ever gotten sea sick? No, but I've never been out on the ocean for long. Do you put on a robe when it’s cold? Don't have one. Has anyone ever told you that you & your significant other could be siblings? Have they ever assumed you were siblings? Mom's called us twins like a million times. Idk if anyone's assumed that. Have you ever attempted origami? Are you good at it? Do you enjoy it? What’s your favorite origami to make? No. Are you more likely to like someone before you really know them, or do you feel you like them more after you know a lot about them? Hmmmm, I suppose this depends on what I learn about the person. Do you buy people cards on special occasions, or do you prefer to make your own? WELP I don't make my own money and tbh I'm too much of a lazy shit to make them. Don’t you hate when people say that you & them should get together, but they don’t even make the effort to? I can't speak here, I do it too. Social anxiety holds me back from trying to plan things. Where on your body was the last cramp you had? Why did you have this cramp? Uhhhh probably my lower abdomen because female with a sadly operating uterus. Do you get embarrassed when people hear you sing/compliment you on your singing ability? If so, why is that? YES. Idk why. Do you own one of those singing fish? Do you think they are silly or funny? No, but they make me chuckle now bc of that video of a broken one channeling Satan. Have you ever caught someone stealing from you? Did you confront them? No. When was the last time you prepared extensively for something? Did your preparation pay off? Ha, first trip to Sara's... I WAY overpacked. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher/professor? Did you act on your feelings? No. Have you ever experienced culture shock? Not seriously. Going to Illinois, Chicago in specific, was incredibly different for me, but I wouldn't classify it as "shock." How did you discover your greatest passion? Y'know I'm not even totally sure what my greatest one is. Do you believe that all art is political? No????? Have you ever had a conversation with a cab driver? Never even been in a cab. Do you have any shirts from vacation/tourist locations? Not anymore. Do you know anyone who has never read the HP books? Who? *cautiously raises hand* Do you ever visit your mall’s arcade (if it has one)? Doesn't have one. Our mall is literal shit. If you lost the use of your limbs, would you still want to live? NOPE please fucking kill me. Not even an exaggeration. What’s your absolute favorite topic to discuss? M-M-M-Mark. :') Though odds are I'd be shy talking about him because I am quite obviously not just a "yeah he's cool" fan okay I get self-conscious. What is your least favorite topic to discuss? Economics. What is your opinion on psychics? Real, or fake? Fake. How would you rank your “class participation” in school? Normal? I asked questions if I really needed help, I'd sometimes answer questions or help read aloud, stuff like that. Have you ever cut your own hair? How about anyone else’s? No to both. What is the last thing you asked your parents to purchase for you? Fast food lunch. What is your favorite kind of lunch meat? Ham. Have you ever been confined to a wheelchair? No, thankfully. If you have a job, who’s your closest friend at work? N/A Do you have any exercise equipment in your home? Very few things. Were your parents born in the same country they now live in? Yes. How many living grandparents do you still have? One. Have you ever heard people having sex in the next room? Yes, or at least pretty sure. Have you ever been on a strict diet and exercise regime? Diet, no, but I stuck to a serious exercise plan during one summer. Do you have a favorite author? No. How long do you usually take in the shower? Not even ten minutes. Get my shit done and get out. Have you ever worked in an office? No. What is your favorite way to eat rice? Fried. Have you ever been in serious trouble at work or school? No. Have you ever kissed anyone under the mistletoe? Yes. What’s one unusual little thing that you really enjoy? Uhhhh. What’s the biggest bruise you’ve ever had? Not sure. Is there anything that people always tell you that you should do? Become an artist or publish writings. Have you ever broken up with someone and then regretted it later? No. What’s the background picture on your phone? Do you change it a lot? Lock screen is meerkat pups cuddling, home screen is Sara kissing my cheek. :') Have you ever taken someone back, who ended up just hurting you again? Not in a romantic sense. How do you feel about shaved pubes? No opinion. Can young people fall in love? If not, why not? Absolutely, I did. What’s your opinion on masturbation? Do it if you so feel the need, but not at all for me. Those experiences are exclusive to me and my partner. What is your favorite Queen song? ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM obviously "Bohemian Rhapsody"??????????????? Have you ever “spoken” to any celebrities via Twitter? No. Do you eat cereal bars? No. Do you know any immigrants? Off the top of my head, only an illegal family. Have you ever lived in university or college accommodation before? No. If you haven’t already, are you scared of leaving home? If you have, do you like it? I'm both nervous but keen to. Do you know how to look after yourself away from home? (budget, pay bills, feed yourself, cook, clean, do laundry etc.) ^ this is why I'm nervous lmao. If you could only eat one vegetable for a year (not including potatoes) what would it be? Broccoli. Do you have a certain routine in the bath or shower? What is it? Shave, wash hair, use my facial scrub, and then body wash. Do you prefer chicken burgers or beef burgers? Beef. Would you ever eat kangaroo steak? No. What’s the weirdest meat you’ve ever eaten? Nothing too odd. Is there a chalkboard or whiteboard anywhere in your house? There's a whiteboard in the kitchen. Do you like dried fruit at all? What’s your favorite type? NO. Who lives across the street from you? Nobody; there's a field there. When you were in college, where was the coolest place to hang out? N/A Who did you go to prom with? Jason. What was your first vehicle’s name? Never had my own car, wouldn't name it either. What was the name of the first person you ever had a crush on? Why did you like them? Dylan. I thought he was cool and funny and at that age found him god-tier hot lmao. What do you think you cook or bake the best? Just scrambled eggs. Have you considered running for president? Definitely not. How old is the most expired item in your fridge? Idk??? If I was aware something in there was expired, I'd throw it out. What’s the saddest song you’ve ever heard? "Hurt." Johnny Cash's cover absolutely ramps up the emotional aura to it tenfold. How about the sweetest song? "Here For You" by Ozzy Osbourne. How many bones have you broken? None. Have you ever won anything? Big or small? Yeah. Small things, but I consider the SH:R things to be pretty damn big personally. If you could buy one material thing, and money was not an issue, what would it be? Front row tickets for Mom to Metallica. Concert is the end of this month, and after seeing her lose her fucking mind in ecstatic tears upon finding out they were coming, I'm legitimately depressed for her that we're missing it. What food will you absolutely not, under any circumstances, eat? Sashimi. What’s the best way to comfort you when you’re having a really terrible day? Watch some of my favorite Mark videos, listen to the SOTC or SH2 soundtracks, bring me my favorite Reese's bar, ha. Has anything/anyone ever saved your life before? Yes. Jason first, then the partial hospitalization program as a whole, Mom, and two of my medications. What is one thing you’re embarrassed to admit you want to try? Hm. I guess a vibrator lmao. What is the most important memory you have and why? Realizing I could live *happily* without Jason. Obvious why that's important. Which famous person would you like to be BFFs with? Shane Dawson is my Dad. Is there something you wish you had said sorry for but never did? To certain people. Are you embarrassed by your school yearbook photos? I literally only remember liking one lmao. Who taught you to tie your shoelaces? Mom and Dad both. Do you think dimples are cute? YEAH What’s something you used to collect when you were younger? Stickers, then to a less degree seashells. At one point of your life, have you been obsessed with dinosaurs or robots? I was craaaaaaaazy about dinosaurs as a kid. I still love them. What was the last thing you cooked on the stove? Scrambled eggs back when Sara was here in June... lmao. Have you ever not canceled plans and wished you had? Probably. What is something you were scared of as a kid? Animatronics. Still not a fan. Would you rather write a story or a poem? I'll actually finish a poem. But I mean our RP is a really just a big-ass story and I write for it way more than anything. Are you moving soon? No. Do you get nervous around the opposite gender? Always. This fear of men thing's gotta go. Did you ever have a ‘security blanket’ when you were younger? Yes, a stuffed bunny hugging a little polka-dot blanket. What is your lucky charm? Don't have one. What time does your dad usually wake up in the morning? Well, I don't live with him. But he's a mailman, and if his schedule's the same as it was when my parents were together, early. Name the craziest moment of your life: I guess it depends on your definition of "crazy." But I suppose the night of the breakup when I left the house in the dead of night to walk to his house to talk as Mom wouldn't take me. It's a seven minute drive so would've taken a long time to get there, but I didn't care. Mom eventually went after me and kept cutting my path off with the car until I just collapsed sobbing. That was a fucking ordeal. I wouldn't wish that night on anyone. Do you want to travel? YES. Do you plan on having children? No. Who did you last say I love you to? Sara. Do your parents actually knock on your door before entering your room? Mom, no. Dad did. What can’t you wait for? "Can't wait," idk, but I'm looking forward to my birthday. Do you have a bad temper? No. It's hard to make me mad. What brand of digital camera do you own? Nikon. Have you ever seen a Broadway show in New York? No. Are you listening to music right now? "Angel Eyes" by New Years Day ft. Chris Motionless. When was the last time you were told you were cute? I have no clue. Have you ever wished to be an Internet celebrity? How about a ‘real’ one? No. Have you ever been kayaking? No. Do you care overly about other people? Some. What is your favorite family tradition? We don't even have any anymore, it seems. Do you make friends easily? No; I'm way, way too reserved and shy. Do you make enemies easily? Or do you not have any enemies at all? I'd like to think I don't have any. Do you think its likely that humans will go extinct in the next 1000 years? No. Eh, maybe, if we do nothing about royally fucking up the environment. If you have tattoos, how long have you had them? Uhhhh I got my first for my 18th birthday, idr how old my second is, "ohana" is like, two years old or something, my fourth is a year old, Sara's tattoo is from last June, and my latest one was a good few months ago. How old are your next-door neighbors? All I know is elderly. I've never even seen the ones on the other side of us. What did your family usually do for Easter when you were a kid? Easter egg baskets, the egg hunt, and church. What’s the largest bug you’ve ever found in your house? Omg probably this long-ass centipede that was on my door at our old house. Have you ever bought a YouTuber’s merch? BITCH you bet I will be decked the fuck out when I have my own source of income. I never ask on Christmas or my birthday 'cuz it's embarrassing lmao. Pick a flavor: pumpkin or apple? Apple. Do you think oatmeal tastes better when made with water or milk? I only eat it with milk. It sucks with water. What is the best type of donut? Glazed or original. Have you ever left a note in a library book? No. What time of day do you prefer to wash your hair? Night. If you go to church, what is your favorite thing about it? N/A ^and what is your least favorite thing about it? Literally almost all preachers whose services I've been to like yell. Chill. You can be passionate without screaming and scaring me. Would you ever film a YouTube video with no make-up on and messy hair? Messy hair, no, but maybe no makeup. What’s your favorite movie that you remember seeing in the theater? Silent Hill: Revelation 'cuz it was the only movie I've ever watched it 3D. Have you ever had a pet rock? HAHA YES. Do you own a bobblehead? No. What is your favorite tattoo that you’ve seen? OH MAN DON'T ASK ME THIS. I absolutely adore those by Brando Chiesa, tho. Determined to have one by him one day aaaahhhh. What is something you have too many of? T-shirts. Do you have any disabilities? No. What are five of your favorite stores at the mall? Hot Topic, Spencer's, one would be Victoria's Secret if I actually FIT IN THEY CUTE-ASS SHIT, and uh. That's like it. When was the last time you went to Michael’s? Foreeeeeeeeever ago. Ours closed years ago. What is your least favorite chore? Washing dishes. Do you organize your clothes by color? No. What was the last thing you made with your own hands? Does a drawing count?? Have you ever been to a psychic/tarot reader? No. What is the kindest thing you have ever done? Maybe donate a shitload of my hair to charity. I really did almost become teary-eyed when I learned it was truly used. What holiday should exist but doesn’t? It'd be nice to have a day centered around learning about mental illnesses and celebrating survivors of them more than usual, I just don't really know how. What holiday shouldn’t exist but does? Idk. I have holidays where I'm bothered that the meaning was warped, but. If you had to choose would you live on the equator or at the North Pole? The North Pole. What do you think makes someone a hero? People looking up to you for doing genuine good. What cartoon would you like to be a character in? Pokemon. Are you a coupon clipper? Mom is for food. If you could pick one food that you could eat all you wanted but it would have no effect on how much you weigh, what food would it be? REESE'S HUNNY What are your parents interested in? Mom: Surgeries/medical operations and bodily stuff, art, helping people (children in particular), psychology, etc. Dad: Hockey, football, golf, fishing, that kinda stuff. Have you ever caught and tamed a wild animal? No. When do you feel your life energy the strongest? "Life energy?" Not too sure what that means. I guess I feel most "alive" when I'm out in nature witnessing natural beauties, like waterfalls or shooting stars, or driving through the mountains. You are spending the night alone in the woods and may bring only 3 items with you. What do you bring? My cell phone (but keep it off unless needed), a knife, and... I'm not sure. I would say camera or book, but seeing as I'm there at night... OH. DUH. A flashlight so I wouldn't drain my phone's battery using its.

[gffa]

SO, HEY, YOU WANT A PRIMER FOR WHERE TO START WITH LORD OF THE RINGS/THE HOBBIT/SILMARILLION FIC TO READ? The other night @belldreams asked me if the fic I was currently reading (as I mentioned that I’d been enthralled by it) was accessible to a layperson and, sadly, I don’t think it is.  But then my eyes lit up with an unholy glee because I do know a bunch of fics that are great for a layperson to read! I assume that a person will at least have seen the movies and are thus reasonably aware of how Tolkien’s world is set up, but you don’t have to know the history of the world to start reading these!  This is a list that is aimed at gently easing a person into the wider fandom or just providing a starting place, if that’s what you want! LET’S INTRODUCE YOU TO SOME FUCKIN’ ELVES: ➡ I have a series of posts about The Silmarillion which are told in a Very Broad Strokes kind of way and not always in chronological order (so maybe you should start with the first fic rec instead? idk!) and they’re still in progress, but I had a great time with Let Me Tell You About The Silmarillion:  Part One, part two, part three, part four, part five.  (The rest are written, I just need to post them!)  They’re cute, ridiculous yelling about my Elf Feelings and won’t take a person that long to read.  (And it’s a lot of names to throw at a person, but, hey, you can always come talk to me spoonfeed you another overview, if you like!  ♥) ➡ Or you can listen to the audiobook here!  I warn, even with having the audio on in the background, it’s still a very dry and dense prose.  I love it!  But it’s definitely not going to be for everyone. ➡ But if the whole thing is too much and you just want an overview, I also really liked this series of Lord of the Rings Mythology (part 1, 2) that will take you less than ten minutes to listen to and they set up the basic structure of Powers in this world. ➡ A good quick overview (only 10 minutes of talking) on Feanor and the creation and then theft of the Silmarils.  It’s definitely more on the side of asshole!Feanor, but, well, they’re not wrong!  There’s a whole series of videos to tell about the history of Arda, all of which are generally under 10 minutes each and are good overviews!  Caveat:  Don’t trust the pronunciations here, they’re off sometimes.  But, then, that’s a thing all over--they’re hard! ➡ I also laughed at The Silmarillion in under three minutes, which acknowledges how much it skips/gives only the very broadest of strokes on (so you may be tempted to assume things, but there’s very often deeper reasons) but did indeed get the story in in under three minutes! OH BUT YOU WANT SOME FIC TO READ: The Silmarillion Rewrite by Jenavira - A fic that lovingly “translates” the Silmarillion from the admittedly very dry style Tolkien has and this is a great fic to start with if you want to get an idea of the shape of the Silmarillion.  It’s hilariously funny and does a great job of familiarizing you with the characters!  My only caveat is that you can’t take it as gospel, it’s not the same as reading the book yourself, because some things are open to interpretation--for example, in reading the fic, it sounds like the Dwarves gained sentience on their own, while in the book I think the takeaway is that Iluvatar granted them sentience, as he’s the only one able to give true life in that way.  I say this not to argue, but to remind potential readers that Tolkien fans have been debating this stuff for decades for a reason!  (And also I’m a Thingol stan for life, but I admit not everyone shares that bias with me.  XD) But absolutely read this fic, it’s hilarious and does a stellar job at being just a fun read and getting you to know who the hell Maedhros and Maglor and Finrod and all of those people are, the history of the Great War with Melkor and Sauron, how all of this is important to the history of Middle-Earth and the rest of the world. The Starlit Sky by Makalaure - You probably need a little context for this one, but it’s not hard to pick up!  Basically:  Once upon a time, a brilliant asshole made some shiny rocks that everyone wanted, Fantasy Satan stole them, he and his seven sons swore an Oath to get them back, a lot of really bad shit happened because they were bound to that Oath, and eventually two of the sons attacked the havens of Elrond and his twin brother Elros’ parents place and killed a bunch of them and then wound up with two Elflings on their hands.  There, now you can read the backstory of Elrond and Elros growing up in the care of Maedhros and Maglor and cry about feelings with me.  Because, yeah, by the end of this one I definitely had tears in my eyes for understanding how Elrond could love these Elves, even after all the terrible, terrible things they had done. WHAT ELSE YOU WILL FIND HERE: -  OR INSTEAD EXPAND ON THE CHARACTERS YOU ALREADY KNOW -  OR READ SOME FELLOWSHIP-CENTRIC STUFF, JUST ‘CAUSE THEY’RE GOOD -  NOW THAT YOU’RE MORE FAMILIAR, HERE’S MORE COMPLICATED FIC

OR INSTEAD EXPAND ON THE CHARACTERS YOU ALREADY KNOW: In a Field of Blood and Stone by ScribeofArda - The Battle of the Five Armies, this time told from the point of view of the Elves.  One of my biggest criticisms of the movies (especially The Hobbit movies) is that they did the Elves so wrong and this fic can be read without having ever picked up any of the books, but I think it does a lovely job of showing what the Elves should be like, especially Thranduil.  There’s some great stuff with him and Legolas, as well as Bard and Bilbo have great roles.  Also, it’s just a incredibly engaging fic that adds such rich detail to that battle! Interrupted Journeys by ellisk - This series is legitimately my favorite in the entire fandom because you can read it without knowing anything beyond the movies (though, they’re not really movie!characterization and instead truer to how Elves really are) but you can also pick up so much on Sindarin politics, if you’re familiar with them.  The first time I read this series, I didn’t really know that much about who Thingol was, other than some Sindarin king, but I followed the context of the scenes referencing him just fine.  Later, once I was more familiar with the Silmarillion, I gained a ton of admiration for the thought that went into this fic, the history of the world, why most Silvan Elves loved Thranduil, but some did not and why a Sinda ruling Silvan Elves was still a thing even thousands of years later. But it’s also just an incredible series of stories about worldbuilding for Greenwood the Great, it builds up characters for important relationships with Legolas and Thranduil, ones that I deeply care about, and it has an incredible plot, that spans over a million words and never, ever stops being enthralling.  And yet my favorite moments are probably the quieter ones, the little Elflings getting into trouble in various ways, how their parents talk to them, as Elves do, and the absolutely stellar characterization of Thranduil especially.  My only caveat is to start with Part 3, because that’s when Legolas is born and I think it’s easier to get hooked from there! daw the minstrel’s fic - I love pretty much everything of daw’s, the Legolas’ childhood and stories about growing up in Mirkwood are wonderful.  There’s a fair amount of OCs (whom I have grown to love!) that you can skip over the scenes when they’re not interacting with a canon character (Thranduil or Legolas) if you like, but are ones I’ve found myself rereading several times because they just do so much good at plot and worldbuilding!  They’re all wonderful, but the ones I started with where All Those Who Wander, Good Neighbors, Legolas’s Begetting Day, and Growing Under Shadow.  They’re all set in the same universe at different points in his life and all fantastic! Ich Dien - To Serve the KingdomMissFaust - This was written before the third Hobbit movie came out but I love it and it’s one of those that I think a layperson could read just fine!  It’s been completely Jossed by BOTFA but I think it’s still readable and it does a much more gorgeous job of taking the movie versions (at least in the first two movies) and writing them with more care and staying true to their spirits.  Also, it’s just really cool worldbuilding! OR READ SOME FELLOWSHIP-CENTRIC STUFF, JUST ‘CAUSE THEY’RE GOOD: A Bit of Rope by Aiwendiel - “What if Gandalf had survived at Moria?” is the question this fic poses and it’s not especially a nice answer.  Things do ultimately work out but it kind of leaves you with the impression of the canon version of events, as difficult as they were, were what was necessary for the best outcome.  This one is something of an exhausting read, but in the way it’s meant to be, in how you absolutely feel Frodo’s journey with him.  It’s gorgeously told and I was absolutely engrossed by it and I think it keeps the spirit of the canon incredibly well.  And it’s basically like five novels worth and yet I tore through them at a speed because OMG SO GOOD. The River by Indigo Bunting - Another gorgeous Fellowship-era fic, where Legolas and Sam accidentally get separated from the main group and you think that it’d be such a random pairing and yet it works brilliantly well.  It adds such depth to both characters, it does beautifully at writing both of them and this world they’re in, and just slides right on by as you read it.  It doesn’t sound terribly exciting when I put it that way, but it really is! Far Horizons by Bodkin - While there are other post-canon fics that I love, I think this one has my heart in a way that others don’t, because it’s my favorite one for Thranduil and Legolas in the Fourth Age.  There might be some characters you’re not familiar with (like Elladan and Elrohir) but I don’t think there’s anything you can’t pick up from context.  Basically, Thranduil, Elrond/Celebrian, and Celeborn/Galadriel are all finally in Aman and they want to establish their own realm--this is the story of the difficulties of that.  It’s such a sharp and clever story, there are so many genuinely charming and hilarious moments, there’s a great polish to the way the story is told, and it really builds a community for these Elves in a way that is both pleasing to my id and to my nerdy worldbuilding/character-loving side!  And there’s even plot!  I couldn’t ask for more. NOW THAT YOU’RE MORE FAMILIAR, HERE’S MORE COMPLICATED FIC: And What Happened Afterarrogantemu - As much as I would deeply and truly love to shove this fic at everyone who’s ever flitted by the Tolkien movies at any point, it’s one where you need to know who these people are and their histories before you can read it.  You need to know who Feanor is, you need to know who Celebrimbor is, you need to know who the Valar are, etc.  Once you do, though?  Oh, this is quite possibly the grandest post-canon fic I could have asked for.  It’s everything I never knew I needed--Feanor and Fingolfin’s reunion brought me to tears, Frodo and Celebrimbor’s conversation made me physically ache for how perfect it was--and it’s written in such a gorgeously cathartic, beautiful way.  I felt the lushness of the world in all the little details and conversations written here.  I felt peace at what was put forth here.  I fell in love with Silm fandom all over again because this one sparked such love in me again. Return to Aman by bunn - This is the first fic of the author’s I read and I just sunk right into it and didn’t want to come up for air whenever I could read on it.  It’s the story of Elrond grabbing Maglor before sailing off to Aman at the end of Lord of the Rings and what happens from there.  It’s a gorgeous look at what happens when the main story is done, at Elven politics and characterization, and the Feanorians trying to heal.  It doesn’t negate what Maglor was a part of or what the Oath meant, what others suffered because of his deeds, but also it’s such a kind fic and so it’s incredibly Elven.  I fell in love with this and it breathes such life into all the characters (god, every single scene with Finrod makes me fall in love with him more, how is that possible, how am I not already at maximum Finrod love!? and yet LOVE HIM MORE I DO), it’s so sharp and clever, that I really loved it. Quenta Narquelion by bunn - This is the fic I was reading when bell asked me if it was accessible to a layperson and, for all that it’s a retelling of the events of The Silmarillion, I think it draws on too much context from before they got to Middle-Earth (it starts in the immediate aftermath of Feanor’s death) for that.  But once you know the shape, it’s a gorgeous story for breathing life into the characters and the events that took place--not shying away from the horribleness of what they’re doing, but also showing that they are still Elves, that they’re not just evil, because they weren’t.  There’s such charm and charisma in this writing, there’s such a strong sense of the world and how all the pieces were moving, and how it makes everything so interesting that I love it.  I especially recommend it for the Maedhros & Maglor & Elros & Elrond feelings because BOY DID I HAVE THOSE. Oak and Willow by Potboy - Marnie writes absolutely beautiful fic and this one is no exception!  This is another “gap filler” fic and I think it might not be wholly readable by laypeople just yet, but if you have a vague understanding of the Silmarillion, it’s GORGEOUS.  One of the things about Tolkien’s world is that it’s told from the point of view of the Noldor, so OF COURSE the other Elves all look like jerks.  What this fic does is then tell the story from the Sindar’s point of view and suddenly there’s a whoooole lot more context going on here!  It’s gorgeously done and, oh, if you like Galadriel or want Celeborn to have more depth, to understand why Galadriel loved him in this author’s hands, it’s a brilliant read for that.  Gap-filler or just really great characterization/worldbuilding, this fic covers both. This Taste of Shadow by Mira_Jade - This is a collection of various Tolkien prompts and there are so many incredible gems here.  It spans from the Silmarillion to The Hobbit to The Lord of the Rings, it spans from the Elves to the Men to the Dwarves, they’re all here, at some point.  Sure, primarily it’s about Elves, but the Elves are the ones we know the most about, and I think you need to know The Silmarillion to read this, but once you have the shape of it, this is some fantastic filling-in-the-spaces pieces with a boggling amount of variety of characters!  You can skip around to your faves if you like, if a chapter depends on reading another one first, it’ll tell you, and so pick your beloved character and there’s probably a gorgeous fic in here about them!

[selfcallednowhere]

So a couple of days ago I learned a REALLY REALLY REALLY UNBEARABLY EXCITING fact about John which I for some baffling reason somehow did not know already.

It was a long rambling road to get to this fact! What started it was I was thinking about the picture that they used for him in the Most Beautiful People poll results, which honestly I don’t think is that great:

I mean he looks fine enough I guess, but I’ve just never been crazy about this shoot--I don’t think he looks that hot. And I was thinking that there are other pictures from right around that time where I think he looks much better, and one of those would’ve been the one I picked. But then I was actually looking at them and saw that it would’ve been pretty impossible to crop Flans out of any of the other ones cos they’re standing too close together, so really that’s probably the whole reason they picked this one (yes it is a crop, here’s the original:)

So then I thought of this picture, which is like in my all-time top-five pictures of him and I DEFINITELY would’ve used, but I couldn’t remember exactly when it was from, I thought it was sometime around that time though:

I thought I remembered what article it went with, this one where he’s talking about how he often starts writing a song by just sitting on his bed with an accordion and fucking around and waiting for something interesting to come out, but I couldn’t remember what the article was. I was all googling within the articles page on my site trying to find it but I couldn’t for some damn reason. Eventually I did, and it’s from 1992 and I was like “1992??? That is not what I picture him looking like in 1992 at all! WHAT.” and I felt all dumb for being so off on being able to recognize how he looked in different eras. Much later that day it occurred to me that maybe I was wrong about this being the article that the picture went with, maybe I was just conflating “interview where he talks about sitting on his bed playing accordion” with “picture where that’s what he’s doing,” and that maybe @statesongs had a scan of it on her amaaaaaaazing TMBG magazine scans Flickr, and yes she does and yes I was totally conflating the two things, it’s from an entirely different article from 2000. Which means it wouldn’t be possible for them to have used it in the poll cos that was two years earlier, but I at least felt somewhat less dumb for not being quite so off on what era I thought the picture was from.

So ANYway, backing up. when I was still trying to find the other article I tried doing a general search of it in case it was up somewhere else besides my site (even though really I know my site is pretty much the only place to get old articles unless they were posted in the last ten years or so, unless of course @statesongs does have a scan of it up!). I have search suggestions turned on, and with “John Linnell” one of the ones that pops up is “John Linnell teeth,” OMG. I lol’d. GOOD TOPIC.

But one of the other ones that turned up was “John Linnell net worth,” and I was like “Wait, is this an actual thing that people know?” and was just kinda curious about it actually. So I actually searched for it and it turned up this result which SHIIIIIIIIIIIT. I mean who knows if that’s actually anywhere close to true--@kittysneezes did tell me that there’s a running joke on Comedy Bang Bang that this site is always waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay off and saying people are way richer than they are. I do know that his neighborhood is CRAZY expensive these days though, Wikipedia says “In 2015, houses in various parts of Windsor Terrace sold for about $1.2 million to $2 million in 2015, and apartments cost from $400,000 for a one-bedroom apartment to more than $1 million for a three-bedroom apartment” which WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. So y’know, who knows. But I mean even if he doesn’t actually have eight million dollars, the idea of him having any millions of dollars is...kinda weird for me, and not something I’ve ever really considered as a possibility before. But...it’s also pretty hot???

That is not the unbearably exciting fact though! (I told you it was a long rambling road.) I looked at a few more results for his net worth, and I found one saying in its like one-paragraph biography of him (who knows why they considered this worth mentioning when he was only there for a semester) that HE WAS MAJORING IN ENGLISH AT UMASS. WHICH IS WHAT I MAJORED IN AND ALWAYS WANT SO BADLY FOR HIM TO HAVE MAJORED IN. OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG I’M FLIPPING OUT Y’ALL. LIKE I CANNOT EVEN TELL YOU HOW MOTHERFUCKING EXCITING THIS IS. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

I had no idea what their source was, if it were even true, but the next day (not even trying to figure this out, just cos I felt like it) I was reading his pages on both Wikipedia and TMBW, and IT SAYS IT IN BOTH OF THOSE. For its source Wikipedia links to this interview with Flans, which I must’ve somehow missed. Still gotta listen to see what exactly he says about it.

Ant was all insistent that it can’t be right cos you can’t declare a major your first semester, but I looked at the UMass site and it didn’t say anything saying you can’t--it just said that you have to declare one by your third semester. (I can’t actually remember when I declared mine.)

@kittysneezes alerted me to this thing from a ‘94 Info Club mailing list, where he says that comp lit was one of his fav subjects, which is separate from English but y’know they’re like sister subjects so I WILL TAKE IT.

However, it sounds like he wasn’t planning to stay an English major--in this thing he wrote all about his experiences with school he says “I considered studying music as a major subject but the programme was rigid, so I took a year off. That turned into 27 years.” I’m just like “YOU SHOULD’VE STUCK WITH ENGLISH THEN.” (Also ohhhhhhhhhh my god, this is SO TYPICAL--”Well yeh music is my passion, I love it more than anything else in the whole world, but OMG the program for it is haaaaaaaaaaaaaaard, I’d have to do woooooooooooork, BETTER JUST LEAVE.”)

When I was still in touch with John Andrews (the Mundanes guitar player/primary songwriter), I asked him one time about John’s college experience, and he said “I think he mostly just stayed in his room and read a lot of books” and I was like “Yeh, sounds about right.”

Also! The college I went to, Smith, is part of something called the Five College Consortium, with four other schools in the area--it means students at one of the schools can also sign up for classes at any of the other four. And do you know what one of the other schools is? UMASS AMHERST. Soooooooo maybe if I’d been there 23 years earlier our paths could’ve crossed. I think about this a lot.

[deliverydefresas]

masters of the scene

I know this is super shocking bc this is probs the soonest (?) ive posted between parts lmao 

I did want to hurry things up before saturday, tho, so here we have it, friendsss. if you’ve missed a part: 

1 | 2 | 3 | 4

AU: Matteo Balsano is a famous singer who has been crushing on this one girl he saw every day behind a window many years ago, back when he first started recording his debut album and inspired his first big hit, “Princesa”. Luna Valente, professional Olympic skater turned actress is at a local (and very popular) talk show to promote her breakout movie. This is where it all starts.

BREAKING: OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALLIST SAYS GOODBYE TO SKATING 

SOL BENSON, 24, recently known for her role as skating legend Marissa Mint in “SHATTERED WINGS”, announced this morning she wouldn’t return to training, or to any competition as a participant again. The announcement was posted on all her social media accounts, reading: “I can proudly say it’s time. Today, a new chapter in my life begins. I’m officially retiring from professional skating.”

Benson also took the chance to thanks her fans, saying: “The last ten years have been an unforgettable experience. A lifetime wouldn’t be enough to thank everyone who has been by my side helping, supporting, and cheering on me on this journey. I’ve done everything I could and wanted, and I hope you’re all as proud of me as I am of myself and the accomplishments we’ve done. I love you all very much.” The now ex-skater didn’t specify why she was leaving, but she affirmed it wasn’t anything but a personal choice: “I know many of you are shocked, or confused as to why I’m doing this now, that’s the reason I want to point out it’s not because of my health or a change of careers, as I know some might be thinking. Simply, this is me acknowledging my heart’s desires.”

Opinions and critics were instantaneous from the fans.

@ Sol_Benson: Thank you. pic.tw.com/3747829

          @ solnation: @ Sol_Benson please tell me this is an early april fools joke I’m crying

          @ sol_fan73937: @ Sol_Benson THIS IS NOT WHAT I WANT, THIS IS NOT WHAT I PLANNED, AND I JUST WANT TO SAY I DO NOT UNDERSTAND

          @ SolMiReina56: @ Sol_Benson on one hand I’m happy you’re doing this in your terms but on the other I just want to scream whAT THE FORK BENSON

Benson’s famous friends, however, showed nothing but support for her.

@ Simon_RB: today the sun goes down and the moon rises! So proud of you @ Sol_Benson

@ JimM: Working with you, one of the greatest skaters of our time, was a privilege. Being your friend, and share all these memories, is an honor. Your talent will shine bright like your soul no matter what ♥ @ Sol_Benson  

@ TheAmbarSmith: An absolute star. @ Sol_Benson

The news broke amid rumors of the skating star dating Italian heartthrob, Matteo Balsano, leading some fans and theorist that her new relationship was linked to her decision.

@ SolecitoDeMadrugada: I don’t wanna start sh*t here, folks, but Sol said she’s acknowledging ‘her heart’s desires’…. What if Balsano convinced her to quit????

@ SolBonita: If Matteo Balsano had anything to do with this I will cut that bitch in half just sayin’

@ soltteoforever: omg what if sol quit to form a duet with matteo???!!! #relationshipgoals

@ elbalsanito: if y’all really think MATTEO BALSANO would make his two minute long girlfriend quit her career for him y’all are batsh*t crazy don’t even look at me

So far Benson and her team have offered no comment to the critics, choosing silence over explanations, and only time will tell what she’s planned for herself next.

Is this really her end in skating? Will she approach a musical career with her beau? For more Sol Benson, click here!

He was a coward.

And an idiot.

An idiotic coward, really, because he hung up on her as fast as his brain and hand could do it. He could’ve lied, told her it was only a guessing. Or he could’ve come clean about his stalker-ish ways and freak her out. Or come clean and skip the stalker-ish ways. But, no, he’d hung up and now when she saw him she’d demand an explanation and probably give him crap for hanging up on her and then creating a lame excuse as to why.

Because so far, he could only come up with his phone dying in that exact moment and him forgetting to call her back. For two weeks.

Again, an idiotic coward he was.  

“Are you listening to me, Matteo?” he’d been lost in his thoughts again, unsurprisingly. It was something he’d been repeating lately, and usually blamed it on him ‘mentally’ writing his songs. Sometimes, it was the truth; but most of the time it was an excuse to get Gastón and his mom off his back. Today was Delfi’s turn at enduring this lost lapse. “Matteo! This is a serious matter, you dick!” he’d laugh at the insult if it weren’t for her aggravated look. He was used to the annoyed, yet knowing look of his friend and his birther, but Delfi looked nothing but stressed. “Can you focus on what I’m telling you?”

Matteo threw her an apologetic smile. “Sorry, Delfi. I was just-”

“I don’t even want to hear it! I just need to listen to me and tell me what the fuck is happening between you and Sol Benson!” Well, shit. She was even cursing now.

“What do you mean?” he asked, genuinely confused now. Delfi knew better than anyone that he wasn’t dating, and even if he was, she never cared about it before. His manager sighed exasperated, throwing a newspaper across the table, pointing to him to read it.

The sole headline was enough to make his blood run cold.

“Read it till the end.”

“She’s retiring?” Matteo couldn’t believe it. A million questions came to his head as he read the article, ‘why’ being the loudest. “I just- what?”

“I don’t know, and I don’t care about her, Matteo.” She sighed again, passing her fingers through her head. “What I do care about is that they’re mentioning you as the responsible.” Delfi raised her hand when he opened his mouth to protest. “I know you aren’t. And I’d like to think a woman like her is strong enough to not let an idiot like you convince her to give up her career. However, this is bad because you’ll be crossed as a chauvinistic pig, and could seriously hurt the image the older fans have of you. We need to counterattack, fast, and I need you to tell me just exactly how close you are to Sol.”

“What for?” He was getting defensive, and Delfi could tell so, too. She softened her look.

“This is not about you being a heartthrob, Matt. This is about people judging you wrongly-”

“Are you listening to yourself? They already judge me wrongly!” Delfi pursed her lips.

“Okay, bad wording. Still, we can’t let them think you’re that kind of person either.”

“Can’t you talk to Gastón about it? Maybe he can-”

“We agreed to break the contract with most of the magazines and the heartthrob stories, but you can’t just sue someone for linking you as someone’s boyfriend. If this was an article solely about you, we could make an agreement with them but since it’s about her-”

Matteo frowned. “Can’t you talk about it with her team? You said you knew them, maybe you can work on something together-” Now she looked offended.

“What do you think I’m doing? This is why I citied you here, we’re meeting them in ten minutes to discuss it! And first I needed your stupid ass to explain your situation to me so we could have some ground but all you’ve done is daydream about God knows what!”

“Wait, what?!” he looked down at his sweatpants, and the semi-sweated t-shirt he’d worn to go to gym before the meeting, and he just knew his hair was a dishevel mess. He hadn’t even bothered with his contacts, so his glasses were stuck on his head unless he wanted to be as blind as a mole. He’d thought he’d only be meeting Delfi, and now- “she’s not coming, is she?”

“Who is ‘she’?” Delfi air-quoted, not getting why he was getting freaked out.

“Luna – Sol, she isn’t coming, right?”

Delfi scoffed. “Of course, she is! This is all about her, why wouldn’t she be here?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he almost whined, jumping out of his chair to get his gym bag, and spray the shit out of his deodorant on his body. He didn’t have any hair gel, so his hair had to stay the same. He was really regretting not taking the time to fully showering before coming.

“Oh, so now you care about how you look at meetings?” He didn’t answer her, still busy with his gym bag. He was sure he had mints buried somewhere. “I take that you like this girl?” Matteo said nothing, but nodded the slightest. “I know the rumors aren’t true right now, but I really need you to tell me if you think they will. The earliest Gastón and I can come up with counterattacks to protect your privacy and hers, the better. Especially since her contract with her team will drop soon.” Delfi asked, her tone a lot softer and less teasing. She’d taken his wishes seriously, and he was very grateful about it. He was in good hands if shit ever hit the fan.

Matteo dropped his bag, and sighed a quiet ‘yes’. And then turned to her, louder this time, “I don’t want anything hurtful, insulting or degrading to be said about her. The less she’s mentioned, the better. If it means we must re-sign with them, and have them write me off as a playboy, then so be it. But not a bad word about her, Delfi.”  

She smiled, her words comforting him a little. “If it’s in my hands both of you will be protected. Now, go tame your hair before your little star runs away from seeing it and turns into stone, medusa-boy.”

She was this close to picking up her phone.

The urge of checking her phone was eating her up but Luna was trying her best to avoid any type of interaction with social media in the last two nights, but it was proving to be harder than she imagined. After the news were out in the open she’d turned everything off; her phone, laptop, and tablet, burying them deep in one of Nina’s photography drawers so she wouldn’t be tempted to read her fan’s comments, or the articles magazines and newspapers were publishing on the web.

When her team called her early in the morning for a meeting, though, she knew something else had happened. They’d already discussed everything related to her retirement, and weren’t meant for another meeting for another three weeks, when she’d sign the remaining papers to break most of her commitments and contracts, with only the bigger ones left until she could find another lawyer outside of her management. Not that she didn’t trust them, but Mariano was more a “making business only” instead of “breaking business” type of lawyer.

“Still no news from Tamara?” She asked Nina beside her. Nina shook her head.

“She said she’d be meeting us there, to ask for Alzamendi and to not talk until Mariano and she were present.”

“Alzamendi?” She repeated, “does that sound familiar to you?”

“I think I might have an idea.” Nina admitted. Luna looked expectantly at her, urging her to tell her. “Pedro’s girlfriend, Delfina Alzamendi, is a head manager here.”

She frowned. “But she’s in the entertainment business, not in sports. Why would she cite us here?” Her eyes widened, “you don’t think…”

Nina shook her head rapidly. “No, no, no. Tamara’s better than that, she knows you don’t want to enter acting, she wouldn’t do that to you. I was thinking more that maybe one of Delfina’s clients could be involved.”

“But why would Ámbar contact me vía my manager? She has our house number, and Simón’s and yours.” Nina looked at her funny, confusing her. “What?”

“I’m not talking about Ámbar, L. I think this is about Matteo.”

His name made her scowl. She still hadn’t forgiven him for hanging up on her without an explanation, or a goodbye, and the guy had sent her to voice mail after she tried calling him back.

“He has my number too.” Not that he cared to use it again. Boys were stupid.

By now Nina looked amused, but grimaced after a moment. “You haven’t seen it, have you?”

“Seen what?”

Nina took her phone out of her purse, typed in her code and opened her phone’s browser. She was about to protest when she saw her type ‘sol benson matteo balsano’, but was quietened when Nina clicked on an article about Matteo being the reason she was retiring from skating.

“This. It started the morning you posted the news on Twitter and a fan replied saying you meant Matteo when you said you were following your heart. I think that’s why Delfina wants to talk to you and Tamara, because Matteo wasn’t left in the best position. People are crossing him as a controlling chauvinist.”

Luna was feeling dizzy. She had meant for the news to affect her only, but now she was dragging Matteo too. “People are saying this?”

“Mostly your fans, and uninvited activists, but yes.”

“He must hate me now, Nina.” She groaned, hiding her face with her hands. By now they were almost by the entrance desk, and a few of the people there stared her way.

“He couldn’t even if he tried, Luna, don’t worry.” Her friend cooed, squeezing her hand in comfort.

“His manager contacted mine, Nina. People don’t do that unless they’re strangers or you hate the other person.”

“I think you’re exaggerating a bit.”

“He at least has to be mad. If anyone said I’m the reason they’re quitting their career I’d be too.”

“Maybe, but not mad at you. The people saying this are mostly gossipers and fans you have no control over, Luna, don’t worry.” She nodded a couple times, trying to calm herself and the unnecessary guilt she was feeling in that moment.

When she finally felt calm enough, she dragged her feet to the lady behind the desk, asking her politely where she was supposed to go. The lady’s eyes shone with recognition, before asking her who she was meeting with; as soon as she said ‘Alzamendi’, the woman’s grin could have rivaled the Cheshire cat.

“Miss Alzamendi and Mr. Balsano are waiting in room 7. Go straight that hallway and turn left on the first corner, it should be easy to spot it, the numbers are big enough; they’re still waiting for Mr. Périda, and your team, though. Is there anything I can get you both to drink? We have black coffee – black, decaf, with milk, vanilla latte and moka, tea – chamomile, green, lemon ginger and berry sangria, hot chocolate – sweet, bitter, Spanish, Mexican, white and raw, lemonades – strawberry, mango and mint, sodas-”

Luna blinked a couple times, surprised that a) they had so many options and b) they made their receptionist learn all of them.

“Uh, do you have water?” Nina asked, interrupting the woman before she went on to list all their available sodas. The receptionist shut up immediately, pursing her lips at Nina for a second before nodding, then she looked at her, expectantly.

“A Mexican hot chocolate would be nice, thank you.”

“Anything to eat? We have a couple of restaurants delivered to us, if you’re hungry.” Before she could refuse, Tamara’s voice was heard behind them.

“Luna!” She smiled politely at her manager, nodding in greeting to Mariano. “I’ll have a latte and the sir will have black coffee, no sugar, please.” The older woman addressed the receptionist, who simply wrote it down on a little notepad. Tamara didn’t bother to thank her before she was dragging Luna – and Nina, who was grabbing her hand- towards the hallway the lady had pointed out before. “Okay, so; Matteo Balsano’s manager called me yesterday and requested to have a meeting as soon as we possibly could, that’s why I called you last minute, sorry. Are you aware of the rumors going around of you two?” Luna begrudgingly nodded, “good, I don’t have to explain it, then. Alzamendi didn’t specify why she was requesting us, but my bet is on the news hurting Balsano’s image of the perfect guy.”

“That’s what Nina told me, too.” Tamara’s eyes flickered to Nina’s.

“Good.” That’s all she said before going back to explaining. “More likely than not, they’re pissed. It could be the boy, it could be his manager, it could be the label. Or a mix of all. We already broke all magazine deals, so there’s not much we can offer to clean his name. We’re betting on his team acting up and choosing to clean it up themselves, while praying they don’t leave you dirty at all. Mariano can make up an agreement with his lawyer to even out and make it fair for both.”

“Do you think Matteo’s capable of going as far as dirtying up Luna’s name?” She could tell Nina was worried, and already feeling protective of her. Tamara shook her head.

“He doesn’t strike me as the type, but we need to be prepared for the worst-case scenario.” She told them honestly, finally stopped walking in front of a door. Before they entered, though, she looked at Luna straight on. “Listen, munchkin, when you enter that door you need to forget whatever relationship you have with the guy.” She was about to protest, but Tamara shook her head. “Just until we know where we stand. And who we stand against, okay?” She merely nodded. “Good. Are we ready?”

Matteo was sure those had been the longest – yet quickest, because he spent most of them rushing to make himself more presentable- ten minutes of his life.

The door opened, and the corner of his mouth went up at the knowing he’d see her in seconds. When she didn’t acknowledge him, the smile fell. When she sat down on one of the chairs and kept her eyes on the table, he frowned.

Was she mad at him, at the situation they were in? Was she sad? What if it hadn’t been her decision? Could that be why she looked so… not herself?

He was about to go to her when Delfi stopped him. Matteo looked at her, questioning why she’d done it, but she sent him a look that said ‘quiet’.  

“Delfina,” the woman – who was part of Luna’s team, if his guess was correct- greeted his manager, a tight smile on her face. Then she turned to him. “Mr. Balsano, nice to meet you.”

Delfi sent her a polite smile. “Tamara, Mariano, it’s always nice to see you again.” He could’ve sworn he heard the man say, ‘is it?’ under his breath. “Miss Benson, Miss Simonetti, long time no see.” Wait, she knew them?

Luna looked up from the table, throwing a quick ‘hello’ to her; her eyes flickering for the shortest time to his face, before turning down again. His frown deepened as Nina’s friend answered Delfi’s greeting, more enthusiast. “Hi, Delfi, it’s good to see you again, too. I wish it were under, uh, better circumstances, though.”

He could tell Delfina was amused at her words, if her mouth twitch was any indication. “Straight to the point, huh? Sadly, we’re waiting for Matteo’s lawyer to get here first.”

“Why isn’t he here yet?” the man asked rudely, disdain clear as water on his face. Matteo felt attacked by his tone, and jumped at Gaston’s defense.

“I’m not his only client, sorry not all of us can afford to have a clear schedule twenty-four-seven.”

Mariano raised his brows. “Ah, yes, you’re right. Real jobs keep you busy. My bad.”

Matteo scowled at him. “How would you know? You’re jobless now that your client is quitting her not so ‘real’ job, no?”

“Matteo.” Delfina warned him in a hiss, pinching his arm to keep him quiet. He noticed Luna’s blank look turning into a small grimace.

Mariano was about to retort when Luna’s manager grabbed his arm. “Don’t.” Then she turned to Delfi, “I think’s it’s for the better to start discussing the elephant in the room, sweetheart. You can always update your lawyer when he comes.”

Delfi pursed her lips at the nickname, but stood up with a nod. “Fine. I don’t think I have to explain why we’re here exactly.”

“You understand this is not Miss Benson’s fault, right? This was a matter taken out of context by their fans and the media.” The man’s tone wasn’t exactly condescending, but even Matteo felt like he was trying to teach Delfi how to do her job.

Still, Delfi remained as calm as she could. “We do, as I’m sure you understand your client’s choices shouldn’t taint my client’s image, no?”

“He’s as tainted as you can get them. Aren’t ‘playboy’, ‘heartthrob’, and ‘ladies man’ nice ways of saying man-whore?” Matteo heard small gasps around him, but he was too shocked at the insult to notice whose gasps were from. Mariano looked smug. “If anything, he is the reason they assume conclusions. If your client didn’t have the image he has, our client wouldn’t have linked to him in the first place.”

That was enough for his friend to snap. “If your client had been properly trained to do interviews without making a mess we wouldn’t be in this situation at all!”

“Those articles had died down until both your clients chose to approach ours at a public event knowing there would be photographers all over the place! How’s that for trained?”

“Enough, Mariano!” His partner shut him up. The woman had the decency of looking ashamed. Delfi and him, though? They were pissed. “I’m really sorry, guys. This is not at all what we came here for and I apologize for my-”

“You have nothing to apologize for, Tamara.” Delfi interrupted her, “he does.”

Mariano pursed his lips, but spit out the apology anyway. “I’m sorry for the way I behaved just now.” Matteo clenched his jaw, moving his gaze to Luna, who looked mad, too. At whom, though, he didn’t know.

“As you know, all our news deals are broken. We have no control, or stance to negotiate with them anymore. So-”

“So, you want us to fix it for you? Is that it? Why should we, after the stunt your team just pulled?” Matteo almost growled, his anger rolling in waves through his body.

Tamara grimaced. “I was hoping we could make an agreement. I know we-” she pointed to Mariano and herself, “-haven’t behaved as we should. But this isn’t about us only.” She looked at Luna, whose frown and pursed lips were more evident now than before.

At last, she fixated her eyes on his.

“I’m not asking you to do anything for me.”

Matteo sighed out, “Luna-”

“No. Listen, if your image-” she scowled at the word, “- is so important to you I can ask Jazmín or someone else to interview me and I’ll tell them the truth.” Matteo almost choked up. Where was she getting at?

“The truth?” Delfi repeated, expectant.

Luna’s friend looked worried, now. “Lu- Sol, please-”

She looked at him, her eyes not wavering for a moment. “Y’know, that you’re not the reason of my decision. I’m sure your fans will be shocked to hear you’re not the center of my universe.”

“Luna, plea-” Nina tried to gain her attention, but she still didn’t move her gaze from him.

“And I’m sure they’ll be glad to know we’re not dating, much less friends.”

Had he been punched? He felt himself getting his breath knocked out of him. He barely heard her friend warning her. “Luna, stop. This isn’t you talking.”  

“No, let her talk.” Matteo was proud he didn’t sound as hurt as he was feeling.

“Oh, so you’re talking to me now?” her sarcasm was throwing him off. Why was she mad about him not talking to her when she basically ignored him too? “Or do I have to wait another two weeks for you to answer me again?” Oh.

Oh.

“You’re mad abou-”

“Dude, no.” Was that…? When had Gastón arrived that he didn’t even notice? He felt his friend squeeze his shoulder, before palming it a couple times. “Don’t answer that, you’ll never win that argument.” He whispered, shaking his head in Luna’s direction. Then he turned to everyone in the room. “So, what did I miss?”