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#why did this take me so long to answer ive been staring at the screen for like 30 minutes now
bloodyknucklesforme · 7 months
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remember how I said I wanted to do an AU where Johnny survives MWIII but is in a coma and Nina has to take care of him? Here's a random snippet
Nina drummed her fingers against the desk, staring hard at the question on her computer screen. It was only a practice test but her anxiety shot up with each question. It seemed dumb really considering everything.
"You don't happen to know the answer do you?" she asked, turning to look at Johnny. It had been three months since the 'accident', which was the only way she could refer to it, and he'd been unconscious since then. She'd done her best to keep his hair the way he liked it but it had gotten a little long as of late. Even with the weight loss she wasn't strong enough to hold him up long enough to cut it. Same with bathing but that required even more movements. That's why Kyle was on his way over.
She got through three more questions before Kyle knocked on the door. She'd given him a key but he still knocked before coming into the flat.
"Hey, love. How are you doing?" He pulled her into a hug as soon as the door shut. "You eat today?"
He had a bag of takeaway in his hand, just in case. She'd lost weight too.
"I did actually. I made a chicken salad," she assured, taking the bag away and putting it in the kitchen. "Thank you, though. We can eat after Johnny's bath."
"You know how eager I am to get to that." Kyle chuckled.
Nina entered the bedroom first. It wasn't really a bedroom anymore. Their bed had been replaced with a hospital bed. IVs, heart rate monitors and other devices crowded around him instead of the usual pillows and plushes.
"Johnny, Kyle's here to see you." She'd been told it was good to keep talking to him, let him know who was in the room.
"Hey mate, still sleeping?" Kyle sat in the spare chair next to the bed, he squeezed Johnny's hand. "If you don't wake up soon, I might have to steal your girl. Don't mean any disrespect but she did convince me to come over to help bathe you so she might already have me wrapped around her finger."
Nina laughed and rolled her eyes as she logged out of the practice test.
"How's studying going?"
"Okay," she shrugged.
"I do have this weird rash if you could take a look?" He jokingly started pulling up the side of his shirt. "If you're going to be a nurse, I will take advantage."
Nina waved him off, giggling.
"It is impressive, what you're doing." A look of earnestness coming over his face. "Minus the whole coma, he's pretty lucky to have you."
"It's a vegetative state." She corrected. "He has involuntary muscle movements and his eyes move a bit during painful stimuli."
"You have been studying."
"It's a little funny that the method used to determine how severe his condition is is called the Glasgow Coma Scale."
"Doesn't surprise me that's where they'd do the most research to head trauma."
"If he can hear you, he'd be very offended."
"I'm about to wash his arse. He can piss off."
"I just need you to hold him up. I'll wash his arse."
"You really are an angel."
Kyle was a good helper, it was the solider in him. He took every order of hers without question. Didn't bring up how she would steal kisses against Johnny's skin as she finished each section. He talked to Johnny, cracking jokes and letting him know recent football scores.
She couldn't say that it had gotten easier caring for Johnny. She had help, a nurse came to change his IVs, catheter and feeding tube. She was only taking the nursing classes so she could do it on her own. Simon and Kyle had warned her about burnout, offering to watch him so she could sleep or even just leave the flat for a walk. His mum and sister came down twice a month or more.
It just ate at her, that something would happen if she dared to cross the threshold. He had improved, albeit slowly but that could change any time. The brain was just a fickle thing. If he took a turn for the worse, she wanted to be there.
She never told anyone but some nights she curl up between his legs and rest her head on his thigh, a hand rubbing across his stomach. She hoped he knew she was there. That she hadn't left him. She would wait for him. If he woke up tomorrow she'd be the first person he saw.
"You ready to cut his hair, now?" Kyle asked. They were both sweaty and a little tired. She looked at Johnny. His hair did look strange with the over grown mohawk and fuzzy sides. She did like how his hair curled a little. He did need a shave but she could do that on her own.
"I think it's okay for now," She ran her hand over his forehead. "Let's eat."
Kyle had picked up Greek. They ate with the bedroom with Johnny. They had a football match playing on the telly. It felt almost normal.
"You're doing a good job." Kyle kissed the top of her head, having pulled her into another hug by the door. "If you need anything. Call me. And I'm begging you to at least sleep on the couch instead of that cot. Can't do much if your back is fucked."
"I'll try. Thank you Kyle." She missed being held like this. "I love you."
"Love you too." He gave her another quick kiss on the crown of her head before heading off.
Back in the bedroom she turned on some of Johnny's favorite music and opened her lap top to continue her test.
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zephyrspace · 2 years
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Doc SSR - Work Uniform + Vignette “Ambitions..?”
medic!au, gn!reader
summary : congrats, after using up all your pulls and level up materials, you finally got the new medic ssr! i wonder what kind of voicelines they have?
a/n : ive been obsessed with just listening to everyone’s voicelines lately so i just pulled this out of my ass and thought that everyone would enjoy some more medic content-
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summon : “sigh, what are you in for this time? c’mon in, let me have a look at you.”
groovy : “it stings? hang in there, i’ll make this quick, i promise.”
set to home screen : “let’s get to work!”
home transition 1 : “the tri-yearly check-ups are fast approaching again… even if you’re not part of the seven dorms, i’ll make sure to get your portfolio made up and arrange a time for your appointment soon.”
home transition 2 : “make sure to tell that cat-rat of yours that if he attempts to go through my cupboards for food again, then i’ll skin him and hang his fur on my wall like a trophy.”
home transition 3 : “remind me to re-supply diasomnia with digestion pills soon. poor cretins, lilia needs to hold back on his cooking…”
home, after login : “good morning/afternoon/evening, i’ll be at my desk if you need anything.”
tap home 1 : “everyone seems to refer to me as ‘doc’ or ‘medic’… it makes me wonder if even half the school population knows my actual name.”
tap home 2 : “my octa-trio senses are tingling again... try to steer clear of their vision for today.”
tap home 3 : “i’m open to any volunteers in helping me with my experi- ahem, helping me in the clinic.”
tap home 4 : “want a lollipop? i’ve got plenty, here.”
tap home 5 : “if that adeuce combo ever bothers you too much, tell me so i can prescribe them gross medicine next time they get into trouble.”
tap home 10 : “could you stop doing that? it takes so long to iron this thing (uniform).”
battle start : “who do you think you are?”
battle won : “sigh, let’s get you to the clinic.”
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vignette - ambitions..?
summary : prefect manages to catch doc off guard! but why do they look so… conflicted?
tags : angsty, very very short
“doc, if you weren’t a medic, what would you be? do you have any other ambitions?”
yuu didn’t mean any harm in the question at all, he just wanted to fill in the silence of the clinic while doc took notes down.
the medic stops writing completely, the grip on their clipboard and pen stiffen. “ambitions..?” an ambition, a strong desire to do or achieve something. to be something.
“yeah! what would you be doing if you weren’t working here?”
“…”
“doc?” yuu doesn’t know what’s wrong, but the atmosphere in the room changes. it’s silent for too long.
“…i’d love to be a student here,” a melancholic smile. it doesn’t reach their eyes.
“huh?” the prefect definitely did not expect such a reaction from them nor expect such an answer, perhaps he shouldn’t have said anything at all.
“i envy you, yuu. like a lot. you’re otherworldly, yet, you get to live as an ordinary student,” doc starts listing things off, as if they actually thought about this before.
“live in your own dorm, make your own friends. you get into trouble, roughhouse with each other. eat with each other. late nights spent just talking.”
yuu stares. doc has this look swirling in their eyes that yuu doesn’t even want to decipher. he wants to run away.
“although you’re far from home, cherish this time spent here, okay?
yuu leaves the clinic, he hopes he doesn’t have to look at doc’s eyes for a while, lest he gets devoured.
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I know you already talked about but this I think the fandom has changed a lot. I am a shy reader so I stay on anon and I don't reblog much because my Tumblr is small. But I have been around for a few years and its not the same.
There was a lot more playfulness and silly posts. People reblogged other people's writing a lot more. I also had fun following how people talked to each other.
The kind of writing people wanted was different. You didn't have such a focus on how "good" the writing was or how much imagery a writer used. It was about the stories being told and it feels like that has changed. The fandom seems to only want that flowery writing, those blogs that write at a "elevated" level. I was just fine without it, to be honest.
I am sad that people are not liking things and that Prince is taking over more and more. There is no love anymore for Vamp or Sen or Rev (my beloved Rev 😭)
I don't know why I am reaching out to you except you have been here a long time, one of the best blogs in this fandom. And part of me is just sad that it feels like the fandom is dying.
Oh my god anon..... when i saw your ask last night i got overwhelmed with emotion and with all the things that popped up in my head that i wanted to say to you, but today real life gave me another portion of problems and I'm sitting here giving my screen a blank stare. i hate this, i really want to give you a better answer, but let me try. and thank you for sending it in this blog, i feel even more comfortable talking on here!
The thing you pointed out about the quality of writing and people's demands.... it's actually something i wrote in my last reply to you. and then deleted it. because i thought, "haha no it must be just me", but now that you say it, im prone to agree - your angle of things is actually very trustworthy in my opinion, being someone who's been here for so long and observed from afar. for me it's easier to forget how it was in the beginning, but now that you say it, you're absolutely right... the blogs i looked up to, the writers i admired, weren't put on a pedestal for their skills, it was purely in my head how great they were - to a point where it makes me sad that it feels like ive received more praise now than they did back then. some of them don't write as often anymore, if at all... it's not right. i wonder why did that happen and when, and if it's actually harmful for us writers or im being too cautious. i want to be just like you sometimes, to enjoy the fruits of this fandom from the comfort of being a small blog seldom interacting with posts but still appreciating them from afar - i've been that person in other fandoms, and it has its perks definitely. it's just some strange miracle that i became what i am right now and broke through the shell of being a shy reader! seriously! i appreciate you and people like you, because im glad that i can make more of those fruits for you to enjoy. it's an unpopular opinion but ive never been mad at lurkers all that much. everyone has their reasons to feel uncomfortable interacting, and other than that, i personally want to have a blog where people escape from the hustle of being seen and present. again, that's just me, and i'll encourage commenting and sharing work when it comes to my peers... we're getting off topic, haha. and i should make a paragraph break already
i want to comfort you somehow but without lying to you that "nooo it's alright we're still having fun around here and the fandom is totally not dying" and we could make what the musicians on titanic did, but hey, we're not in the middle of the ocean and i seriously cant be a pessimist 😭 i don't think that it's that bad - i did say that some writers are put on pedestal, but are they really? i doubt anyone is seeing those things so dramatically, well maybe that one anon. but that's just one case, and unfortunately it affects how we see things A LOT , because noone else allows themselves to point out things in such dramatic light, no matter if they're right or not. we're paying the anon a lot of attention, so this fucks with our heads to a certain degree. i think that you should rest assured that this mood around the fandom is temporary, same with the more fun postings that you mentioned - i have a theory for that too, and it's because ikepri is simply not allowing for as much goofing around as its predecessors. you still see your doze of cursed jokes but they're not realistic in the nature of the game's world like they would in ikerev for instance, or even ikevamp . but that's fine because, and this is something i actually thought about the other day, they can't keep making more and more dramatic dark and twisted all overly serious games (right? right?) , somewhere along the way a game with the carefree atmosphere of ikerev will come to existence again, and we'll heal again. and the hateful anons who dont see that we're just a bunch of people having fun without that made-up hierarchy , will get bored and go away eventually. i believe in that, and i really want to make you believe too
i enjoyed talking with you about this, and i hope i didn't gave any unnecessary seriousness to our talk because im trying very hard to stick to the belief that our time here should be purely just positive and fun... and hey, we might have not interacted much, but knowing that you've been here for awhile already makes me feel you close somehow hkhkhkhk is that weird??
now, let me give you this ticket: 🎫 that equals one xxsycamore request (from the valentines/1000 followers one) and i want you to think of the most self-indulgent prompt you can come up with and send it. you said ikerev my beloved so if you end up choosing that (seeing that there is a serious lack of those requested 😭😭) id be even happier to write it for you. dont worry to refuse ofc <33
im sorry that this was all over the place and thank you for coming here anon. have a great day ❤
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idrawprettyboys · 1 year
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Ishtar’s Harem: 2nd draft
Chapter 1 (April 2023)
A young woman named Rose sat in a hospital bed. She just narrowly survived a heart attack. All the stress of modern life proved to be too much for her. In order to support herself and her two children, she worked long hours, staring at computer screens and taking calls from angry strangers. Even when at home, she found herself constantly on call, ready to answer her coworkers’ and customers’ questions, because she wanted to prove to herself and her higher-ups that she was a good worker. She put work above all else. In this fast-paced, electronically-driven society, where everyone is constantly busy and constantly staring at a screen, one can’t afford to take a moment to relax. Time is money. Money is necessary. She couldn’t allow herself to take any time off work… and this is what it did to her.
Rose sat there, feeling defeated, with IVs in her arm. She looked out the window, listlessly. Is this what it all comes to? She asked herself. All this time and effort put into making ends meet? What’s the point of it all? I’ve been working so hard to feed myself and my kids. With this economy, how is a woman supposed to survive on her own? Her shoulders felt heavy. Her whole body felt weak. Is this what life is about? Where’s the light at the end of the tunnel? It’s all so overwhelming. And for what? Just to survive? I want to live.
As she thought that, she heard a knock on the hospital room door. “Come in,” she said, as she turned curiously to the door.
A mysterious young man with blue hair in a ponytail walked into the room. He wore a brown suit and held a bouquet of lively red roses in his hand.
Rose had never seen this man before. “Who are you?” She asked, slightly confused.
“My name is Lazuli,” he said. His voice, which was so strong yet so gentle, seemed to echo through the room. “I was sent here to help you.”
“Do you,” she paused for a second as she observed the stranger, “work here?”
“No, no,” he chuckled. “I was simply informed of your problem, your overwhelming stress,” he walked confidently yet quietly to the other side of the bed, and stood in front of the window, so that the waning sunlight created a golden glow around his mysterious form, “and I want to help you. I have an offer. A vacation, if you will.”
She raised a skeptical eyebrow at him. “Try someone else,” she scoffed. “My bank account is already sucked dry from the ambulance and hospital bills. Try preying on another patient.”
“No, madam, you misunderstand me,” he said, with a smile. “It’s completely free.”
“A free vacation?” She raised both eyebrows this time.
“That’s right,” he said.
“Yeah, okay,” she replied, sarcastically, while reaching for the bell to call a nurse.
“No, wait!” The man lost his elegant stature and nearly dropped the bouquet. “Please, hear me out!”
“What’s in it for you?” Rose asked, without bothering to hide her distrust.
Lazuli’s chest heaved as he took a deep breath. He exhaled and explained. “The woman I love more than life itself saw you suffering,” he said. “She couldn’t bear to see your pain, and she wants to help you in any way she can. So she sent me here to make this offer to you… to spend some time at her resort, with hope of alleviating your pain. My selfish desire in this is to make my beloved happy, and to do that, I must make you happy. So please, consider my offer.” His sparkling amethyst eyes looked at her imploringly.
This seems to mean a lot to him, she thought. I’ve certainly never heard something like this from a scam artist before, so maybe he’s telling the truth, but… “Who is she?” Rose asked aloud. “This woman that you love? How does she know me? Why would she care?”
“She asked to remain anonymous,” he responded, “but it’s someone you work with. She saw you collapse.”
Oh, she put it together. It must have been Alice, she realized. She had been worrying about me for a while, and she was there at the office with the others when I had a heart attack. She must’ve paid for a vacation for me. She sighed a breath of relief. “Alice is too good to me,” she said aloud. “Alice told me there was a guy who was interested in her. You seem very devoted, so you have my approval.” She finally had a smile on her face.
“So, what do you say?” He asked. “Will you take up her offer?”
“Yeah, sure,” she said with a shrug. “I could use a break.”
“Wonderful,” he said, with a wide smile. Then he held out the roses. “She will be happy to hear that.”
Rose reached out to grab the bouquet. “Oh, are my kids included?” She tried to ask, but as she touched the flowers, they glowed with a blinding light that spread to the whole room. She dropped the bouquet, closed her eyes tightly, and covered her face, as she hunched over in her hospital bed.
After a split second that felt like an eternity, Rose opened her eyes. She saw blankets on her lap in front of her, but they were different, made of red silk, instead of the white cotton hospital sheets. She blinked, as her eyes were still weary from the light, and then looked around.
Huh? was all her brain could muster, as she tried processing the unfamiliar room around her. She was sitting on a gorgeous, king-sized bed with golden poles and a red canopy. The room had beige mud-brick walls and floors. On the floor was a large, ornate carpet of red and gold. Every corner of the room had potted plants with large, verdant leaves. In the top left corner was a fig plant. The bottom right corner had an iris. The other two had potted palm trees. Antique furniture lined the walls. One piece to the left of her bed looked like a vanity, with a tall mirror. Something by the door on the left looked like it may be a dresser. Then there was a desk and chair to the right of that. In the center of the room was a round table with a large bowl full of what she assumed was rosewater, going by the petals floating in it. To the right of where she sat was, not a window, but a doorway. It was an arch that led out onto a balcony. She could feel a warm, comfortable breeze through it.
She looked at her arms and realized that not only were the IVs not attached, but her arms looked different. They were tan and thin, yet strong. She flipped them around a few times to get a good look at them. What happened? She wondered. These didn’t look like her arms. She looked down and saw a heaving chest. Her breasts were never this large, her stomach never this flat. She quickly threw off her covers and jumped out of bed and straight to the vanity mirror.
She couldn’t believe it. That isn’t me! She thought, with absolute certainty. Yet there was no mistaking it… the person in the mirror moved as she moved. When she looked down and around and brought her hair to her face, everything was the same as the mysterious woman in the mirror! Her brown hair had turned black, and was ornately styled with numerous braids. Her face was different too. She now had a thin, small face, with a delicately pointed chin, big, beautiful emerald green eyes with long, luscious lashes, a medium sized nose, and delicate, petal-like lips. She played around with her facial expressions, moving her eyebrows up and down, puckering her lips, and so forth, to test out this mysterious face.
Her body was voluptuous and beautiful. She was wearing something like a toga. It was a simple, white piece of cloth, draped across her beautiful body. She used to be a B-cup, but her breasts now looked like Ds. They were so perfectly shaped. She couldn’t help but hold them in her hands for a moment to feel their weight and make sure they were real. Her hands slid down her surprisingly toned belly. She turned around in front of the tall mirror. It let her see her gorgeous, shapely butt. She didn’t know what kind of weird dream this was, but she wasn’t in any hurry to wake up. She beamed as she admired her new form.
“Glad to see you’re settling in well,” a familiar voice said from the other side of the room.
Rose jumped and looked over to the arch doorway, where Lazuli stood. This was definitely the man from the hospital, but something was different. His suit was replaced with a similar toga-like outfit. It was of a bright saffron that contrasted with his hair.
“How long have you been standing there?!” She asked, aggressively, alarmed that he saw her fondle herself. Then, she scrunched her face in confusion and held a hand to her throat. It wasn’t the fact that her voice was different. She expected that. What was weird was that she just spoke a language she had never heard before.
“That’s Akkadian,” Lazuli said with a chuckle. “You’ll get used to it.”
“What’s going on?!”
“This is your vacation,” he said, casually. “Allow me to explain. You were summoned here, not by your friend Alice, but by my goddess, Ishtar.”
“Ishtar?” She echoed, while she pulled her head back in surprise.
“Yes, Ishtar, the Mesopotamian goddess of love, sex, and beauty!”
“You’re pulling my leg!”
“Does it look like I am?” He raised an eyebrow and smirked, as he spread an arm out in the direction of her body. “My beloved goddess is letting you borrow her form. As I said, she hated to see you suffer, so she thought the best way for you to enjoy yourself would be to live her life… the carefree life of a beloved goddess.”
“W-wait, how am I her?” Rose asked, bewildered. “I mean, I see that I certainly look like a goddess. I can’t argue there. But how can I just borrow someone’s body?”
“Divine magic.”
“Yeah, but,” Rose paused and tried to catch her breath. Her heart was racing. “If I’m in her body, where is she? Don’t tell me she’s in my hospital bed?”
“Oh, no,” he shook his head and chuckled. “She’s still in there, with you. Her mind is just sitting back and watching you at the moment. Mind you, she’s a goddess. So she enjoys watching humans. If you need her, she’s right there with you. At times, you might feel unfamiliar thoughts or feelings. Those would be Ishtar’s. But don’t worry. She won’t take over. Not until you’re ready to go back to your world.”
“My world,” she repeated the term, bewildered. “So, where am I exactly?”
“I was waiting for you to ask.” His body turned, and he looked back at her. “Come with me,” he beckoned, with a jerk of his head, out to the balcony.
She followed him out to the balcony, and was blown away by the sight. She was many stories into the air, and below was a gorgeous city of sand-colored buildings, stretching out to the horizon. People and palm trees were scattered around. The city was bustling and happy. She could see an outdoor market with lots of vendors, and people relaxing on the flat brick rooftops. In the distance was a wall, and past that was a desert, with sand that contrasted with the bright blue sky. It was breathtaking.
He put a hand on her left shoulder and whispered into her right ear, “welcome to Babylon.”
She jumped back. “Who said you could touch me?” she assumed an offensive position, as though she was going to punch him. “Would you touch your goddess like that?!”
His golden cheeks lifted into a big grin and turned slightly rose gold as he laughed hard, as though that was the silliest thing he’d ever heard. “Milady,” he tried to calm down his laughter, “I’ll have you know that touching the goddess is my duty.”
“Excuse me?”
He wiped a laughter-induced tear away. “Please keep in mind that while you are here, you are the goddess,” he informed her. “A goddess’s devotees, worshippers, servants, whichever you wish to call us… Our life’s mission… our reason for living, is to please our goddess.” He gestured towards her body with both hands this time, but it didn’t seem like his message was sinking in. “You’re the goddess of sex, milady,” he said with a smile and with a tilt of his head. “Please be mindful of that.”
Rose just stood there and blinked.
“I’ll leave you alone for a moment to let things sink in,” he said, as he started walking back through the arch. His orange robe flowed behind him. “I’ll be in the hallway.”
“Wait!” She exclaimed, in a sudden panicked tone. “Where’s my phone?! I have to let everyone know where I am! I can’t take much more time off of work! I need to check on my kids! Everyone is going to be looking for me! I wasn’t expecting the vacation to be immediate, and I sure as hell wasn’t expecting it to be in another world! So you better give me my phone this instant! Because you totally tricked me!”
He sighed. “You can’t have your phone right now,” he said. “Modern electronics can’t exist in this world. You’re in ancient times, after all. I’m sorry to tell you that cell phones didn’t exist in 1700 BC.” He added, with a laugh. “Now, don’t fret.” He held a hand up towards her obviously fretful face, as though that would suddenly stop her from fretting. “Time is frozen in your world. Meaning you can spend as much time here as you’d like, and it will be like you never even left your world. From their perspective, you’re still in that hospital bed. And no one will move an inch while you’re gone. Check this out.” This time, he beckoned with his arm and his whole upper body, towards the table in the center of the bedroom.
Rose hesitantly followed Lazuli. He stood over the bowl of rosewater. He dipped the tip of his middle finger into the water and stirred. To Rose’s surprise, an image appeared, like a photograph. Lazuli took his hand away, and Rose could see the image clearly. It showed her daughters, Lily and Chrys, playing with their grandmother. They weren’t moving, but they were safe.
Rose breathed a sigh of relief.
Lazuli smiled, as though he had accomplished something good. But this was only the beginning. This girl still had a lot more relaxing to do before Ishtar would be happy.
He showed her images of her friends and coworkers as well. Anyone that she asked about, she could see. “And whenever you want to see any of them,” he added, “feel free to dip your gorgeous fingers in there and give it a whirl. Though I promise they’ll still be in the same position every time.”
“And they don’t get hurt from being still for so long?” Rose asked. She was having trouble fighting back her usual anxiety.
“No, no,” he assured her, “they aren’t literally stuck in that pose for a long time. It’s just that we’re in a different dimension. Whatever happens here doesn’t affect that dimension and happens separately from it. So time isn’t passing at all in that world. Not just for them, but for everyone. It’s not that everyone’s frozen. It’s just that when we go back, you’ll go back to the exact time and place when you left. You touched Ishtar’s roses at 6:42 pm on Monday, April 17th… I could go into the seconds and milliseconds and further, but I’ll spare you the extraneous stuff. But trust me, we’ll get you back to that exact moment. Nothing will have happened in your absence. And the best part is, you can spend as much time here as you want!”
“Oh,” she said, trying to let things sink in, “okay.”
Lazuli was about to exit the bedroom, but when he had his hand on the doorknob, he turned back around, and added “oh, right, I forgot to mention… The other servants don’t know about the situation. They all believe you are their goddess. Please go along with this belief. While you are here, you are her holiness. You aren’t lying or hurting anyone by assuming her position. It is her will, and her servants wish for nothing but to please her. So please, allow them to dote on you as they would Ishtar, because that would make Ishtar and her worshippers very happy.”
“They won’t be mad that I’m pretending to be their goddess?”
“Not at all,” he assured her.
“Then can’t I tell them?”
“You can,” he bit his lip and tilted his head from side to side, “but I don’t want it to hinder your enjoyment. Please allow yourself to feel like a goddess. Please don’t be afraid to let them pamper you as they would her. Remember, this is your vacation.”
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kimsgoeun · 2 years
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i only have eyes for you. - chanyeol & seulgi
@tonkinwrites
i.
Tension rolls off of him in waves. Hunched over his desk, he lets out a labored breath and rubs at his temples. He doesn't know how long Seulgi has been watching him or has even been in the room until she's spun his chair towards her. She appears in his line vision, crouched in front of him so he's forced to look at her. "I'm fine," he breathes out. "Except you clearly aren't." His gaze drops from hers for a second. He's tired. Always just so tired. "What do you need? I can go and get--" She starts to stand and he grabs her hand. "I don't need--I just need..." The words get stuck in his throat. He doesn't understand why it's still so difficult just to ask for help. To just ask for her. But she understand when words fail him and reaches out to brush hair off of his forehead. Rubs a delicate hand over his cheek. He focuses on the soothing touch, some of the tension ebbing away. When he finally manages to look back towards her, he sees her watching him carefully. Softly. A feeling swells in his chest. Placing a hand over hers, he leans into the palm of her hand. His thanks doesn't manage to leave his lips either, but she seems to understand all the same.
ii.
He doesn't remember falling asleep, nor does he remember Seulgi slipping into bed with him. When he wakes again, Yeol isn't sure what time it is. But he is met with someone besides him, eyes staring over at him. He blinks, groggy but surprised to see her. She utters out a low apology for waking him and he shakes his head as he tries to sit up a bit. "Didn't mean to fall asleep anyway..." She titters, but he doesn't understand why. "What? I couldn't have been asleep that long--when did you get back anyway?" Seulgi pulls the bedsheet further up, settling in and laughs again. "Why? Were you waiting up for me?" she asks. Yeol shrugs and answers honestly. "Yeah." She grows quiet at that, staring at him in some odd way. Brow lifting in question he asks, "What?" In turn, Seulgi smiles knowingly. "Oh, nothing."
iii.
Some show plays in the background, but he's reading. It's nice, for once, having nothing to do and actually being able to just be in the same space as Seulgi. Even if they aren't necessarily doing something together, it's nice. Peaceful. Comforting. She leans into his side and when she squirms to get comfortable for the third time, he drapes his arm around her. It at least gets her to stop moving, albeit it makes it harder for him to turn the pages of his book. Of course she notices. He feels her staring without taking his eyes off the sentence he's still reading. "I can turn the page for you," she offers. "Or I can just do this." He places the book in front of her face so the hand around her can reach and turns the page himself. Yeol laughs when she complains that she can't see the screen if he does that. "You'd be taking your eyes off the screen if you turn the pages anyway," he points out. Seulgi humphs but goes quiet in thought. But it's the kind of quiet that makes him think she's about to do something in response. Opening his mouth to say anything to quell that, he's stopped short when she shifts once again until she's resting her head on his lap. "There, now we're not in each other's way," she states, looking up at him triumphantly. Technically she's right, he has to give her that, but now he's a little too distracted to read on normally. And of course she notices that too. Yeol chooses not to look back at his wife whenever she happens to glance up at him.
iv.
There's less patience when it comes to his mother. She seems to blame his wife for the sudden change in his behavior. His demeanor. Yeol rolls his eyes when his mother makes yet another remark in Seulgi's direction. "We see so little of him now that he has you." It might've stung if it isn't for the fact that it isn't at all true. "What happens if I stop recognizing my own son with how little you let him see his own mother?" Yeol sees it, the way Seulgi prepares a comeback. Annoyance stiff in her upper lip. For once he steps in before she can. "You're being dramatic, eomma," he sighs. "I saw you last week for lunch and at the gala event--stop pestering Seulgi with things that aren't true." The look his mother throws him is as if he'd slapped her across the face. Lips puckering and eyes narrowing, she excuses herself from talking to the pair of them. Thank god, he can only think. It's obvious he'd hear about this later, but for now he welcomes the relief of not having his mother's company. Glancing over to Seulgi in preparation to apologize again for his mother, he finds her already staring. He pauses, seeing the look of surprise over her features. But she meets his eye and grins widely. "Look at my husband, all grown up," she teases. Yeol rolls his eyes again, but this time there's no trace of exasperation in them.
v.
Yeol hovers over her, Seulgi beneath him on the couch. Her hands are pressed to his chest, pausing their movements. She's staring up at him through her lashes, a little flushed in the cheeks. Worried he's done something wrong, he nearly pulls away, but she grabs his shirt to keep him in place. "What are you doing?" Yeol asks perplexed. Seulgi grabs his chin using her thumb and forefinger, looking over his face. "Just looking at you." Whatever she spots on his expression has her smiling though. Forced to stare back at her and unsure of what's going on, he takes comfort in seeing her look pleased. But the longer he stares, the more something begins to dawn on him. Oh. Somewhere along the way he's fallen in love with his wife.
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lucyandthepen · 2 years
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a lesson on style - iii . [ ljn | njm ]
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pt. i, pt. ii, pt. iii, pt. iv.,  pt. v, pt. vi
you’ve always been content with being associated with one word and one word only: average. average in looks, academics and social skills, you’re just looking to graduate high school without causing disasters you’ll have to live with until you kick the bucket. when you’re paired with school king lee jeno for the semester-long physics thesis, you can’t help but think the entire situation has pretty much set itself up for failure. that is, until you strike a deal with your partner. alternatively: an au tale involving lessons in popularity, eleven consecutive B­ minuses, a secretly sensitive, chess­-loving jock, and an amateur sex tape.
pairing: jeno x fem!reader, jaemin x fem!reader verse: high school au { jocks!nomin ft. a super cute whiny ap physics genius renjun } rating: M for sexual themes chapter warnings: none word count: 5.6k
author’s note: because like two people have said they want chapter 3 i, a textbook people pleaser, have arrived :^) 
                                                         *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
Your Facebook boasts a picture of you in Jeju-do last summer.
You actually haven’t changed it since then because you don’t think that a profile picture is worth anything, but apparently, Lee freaking Jeno really likes that shot of you standing by the shoreline in your I ❤️ JEJU t-shirt and your knee-length cut-offs, a disturbingly huge orange starfish in hand. He likes it so much that he’s not only looked at it, but he’s also asked his friend to tell you he has, which is just about the most flattering thing you could do with regard to someone’s profile picture without actually being the one to personally do anything about it.
In conclusion, the butterflies in your stomach aren’t just going crazy; they’re screaming their tiny lungs out.
Your first reaction is to call Renjun and tell him, but he’s only on his way home now, and, somehow, you don’t really know if he’s in the right mood to talk to you about Jeno (or, rather, to listen to you talk about him). You’ve also been staring way too long at your laptop screen without doing anything substantial, so much so that Jaemin is back on his keyboard, according to the three little dots that appear in the chat box again.
Na Jaemin: did I scare u off
You: no no omg I was just
You: taking notes
Na Jaemin: for wht?
Na Jaemin: by teh wa y is Zhong Cjelne at your house?
Na Jaemin: *Cehnel
Na Jaemin: *CHENLE
You: yes! why
You: do you need me to call him
Na Jaemin: no but can you pas s a messge
Na Jaemin: can u tell him isf]
Na Jaemin: jesus fuck ing crihtst
You: I don’t know how to pronounce that
Na Jaemin: sorry can u just tell him he needs to get his LT back from me
Na Jaemin: he didn’t make it to class 2day
You: sure!
You: by the way, can you tell Jeno thank you?
Na Jaemin: oh yeah sure
Na Jaemin: he says for what
You: for the profile pic thing
Na Jaemin: oh
Na Jaemin: ur welcome lol
Na Jaemin: for the record I think that’s a pretty cool starfish
You: thanks!
Na Jaemin: oh brbb dinner i see the baemin guy
Na Jaemin: nvm I think that must be your pizza then
Na Jaemin: enjoy!
It’s strange that you have to be constantly reminded that Jaemin only needs to look out his bedroom window to see what’s happening in front of your house, but you don’t really take the time to dwell on this when the doorbell rings and you have to get off your ass to answer it. Once you’ve paid for the food and shut the door, you call out to the rest of your family; you can hear doors opening and closing mixing in with the low thrum of groggy voices. Sooyeon and Chenle, however, have hardly left the kitchen aside from very briefly taking a walk down the block in the middle of your supposed brainstorming session with Renjun, and you find them in almost the exact same way you had left them, only their faces are morphed into these strange expressions that unnervingly remind you of how you sometimes look when you catch your reflection in the mirror as you daydream about Jeno. Except, well, they’re sharing a mutual look, in comparison to you just… fantasizing. You feel kind of intrusive, and Chenle’s smile suddenly shifting from adoring to abashed may have really set the awkward mood, but your sister remains supremely unperturbed, a quality you kind of wish you always had. She looks up at you with the same bright look she’s just shared with Chenle, which isn’t exactly the most comforting thing at present.
Or, maybe, she might just be beaming brightly at the pizza in your hands.
“Oooh, smells great,” she pipes up in a manner that suggests you’ve just slid it out of the oven instead of just dishing out 30,000 won for it. “I’ll get the paper plates.” You share another moment of silence with Chenle, who’s resorted to scratching the back of his neck weakly to alleviate any internal tension he might be feeling, until you remember you’re supposed to play virtual mailman.
“Oh, um — Jaemin says, er —“ you’re momentarily derailed when his wide eyes fix on you. “Jaemin says you need to get your long test back from him.”
“Na Jaemin?” He sounds slightly incredulous. “I didn’t know you guys knew each other.”
“Yeah. He lives next door.”
“I know that. But I didn’t know you were friends.”
“Oh — we’re not.” It’s your turn to scratch the back of your neck. “He just messaged me, I guess to tell you that.”
He hums in thought. “Okay. Thanks for passing the message. I’ll pass by his house before I leave.”
“Okay.” You know it’s not really any of your business, and you’re not dying to know the answer either, but you press on anyway. “Why does he have your LT though? I didn’t know you two were close either.”
“We’re not that close.” Something like a smile passes his face, so briefly that you may have imagined it. His eyes start traveling around again, watching your sister set out plates for everyone as the rest of your family trickles in. “He’s the TA for the class.”
“He’s the huh?”
“The TA — teaching assistant? For the AP Physics class. Didn’t Renjun tell you that? I’m sure he would have mentioned it. He’s been grading our tests for half the year.”
“No, he didn’t,” you can’t take out the surprise in your voice despite the intense desire to. “I didn’t know he was… like…”
“The TA?”
“No, I just… I didn’t know he was smart smart.”
Chenle has laughed in front of you, but you don’t think he’s ever laughed because of you. This feels like a momentous occasion only marred by the fact that your youngest brother is lifting his shirt up gracelessly to rub at his stomach as he yawns. Even still, you feel a little foolish. Not that you’ve ever asked Renjun about it — you’ve sort of felt like AP physics was a world not easily understandable and, thus, a world that you had no interest in actually attempting to understand. More than that, you’ve somehow felt like people on varsity don’t really care that much about academics; you’d always just chalked up not seeing Jaemin in your class as him being in another section of regular physics.
“Jaemin’s popular with the teachers. He’s been in every AP class I’ve been in. His older brother was kind of the same, so he probably has a lot to live up to. So far, he doesn’t seem to be letting anyone down.”
“Yeah…” you have no clue what to contribute to this conversation; you feel like you’re processing so many things the wrong way and in much too slow a pace, so you decide to just let go any desire you have to respond to Chenle and just sit down across him, still a little dumbstruck.
Dinner is uneventful because everyone apart from your sister and your mother look tired, and you feel like the last twelve hours have already taken their toll on your mental capabilities. They’re the only two people talking animatedly; Chenle doesn’t count because he doesn’t converse as much as he does make noises of affirmation when Sooyeon asks for it. You assume that you’re going to be able to go up and maybe actually think about your physics project (with intermittent fantasies about Jeno) in peace, and you almost do. Almost.
“By the way, _____________,” your mom’s mentioning your name brings you out of your stupor. “I have an early day tomorrow, so do you just want me to be the one to return that jacket you had me wash?”
“What?” You say, pretty stupidly.
“I can just pop on over next door and give the jacket back before I leave for work —“
“No,” you cut her off, alarm rising in your voice. “That’s fine; I’ll give it back myself.”
“Are you sure? You sometimes forget to —“
“Mom,” you beg, as your brothers and father, one by one, start falling back down to earth as well and blearily looking up from their pizzas to focus on you. “Please. Just let me handle it. I won’t forget.“
“Okay,” she shrugs, her tone enigmatically sing-song. “I’m just offering.”
“Wait, are you talking about Na Jaemin?” Sooyeon finally cottons on, which had been the uncomfortable start to a situation you were desperately trying to avoid. “He gave you his jacket?”
“He lent it to me.”
“Football players only give their jackets away to girls when they’re dating,” your sister's eyes are shining so terrifyingly, and your dad has actually straightened up his posture to look at you. Even your younger brothers look somehow interested in this development, probably because they can’t remember a time in their short lives where you’d actually had any dating news to share. “Are you dating Na Jaemin?”
For some reason, it’s Chenle’s face that makes you the most uncomfortable; he looks… amused, which isn’t bothersome, but it’s indicative of the questions he must be asking himself, like how could you have not known he was the TA to the AP Physics class when you were sucking face? You put down the crust of your pizza onto your paper plate, the bread having turned to cardboard in your mouth when this horrible conversation had launched.
“I’m not dating him. I’m not dating anyone. And if I did, it wouldn’t be him.”
“Why not? You don’t have to hide anything from us. Jaemin-sunbae is great. Did you actually know my cheerleading coach wanted him on the team because he’s so flexible?”
Jiho makes a gagging noise over her last few words that signals a bite of pizza had gone down the wrong pipe, but everyone ignores him.
“That… is totally not relevant. And a little weird for me to know. Anyway, he spilled coke on me this afternoon and just gave me the jacket to cover up the stain for the rest of the day. It’s no big deal.”
“Oh,” Sooyeon sounds disappointed, but it’s a mystery to you why she would. “That sucks. It would have been pretty cool if we could all go on like, double dates and stuff. And you could finally get dragged to a school football game without me having to do all the heavy lifting in trying to convince you.”
“Pass and super pass.” You fold your paper plate around your crust, standing up and tossing it into the garbage bag your sister had laid out for easy clean up. “I’m going up. I need to figure out the proposal for my term project.”
“I’ll lay out the jacket for you so you don’t forget it,” your mom brings up the same damn topic again, and you just choose to turn a deaf ear to it.
“I can give it to him,” your sister offers. “We practice on the same field.”
“Everyone, please,” you’re the only one standing up, which makes you feel even more like you’re giving a sermon. “Please just stay away from Na Jaemin’s jacket.”
“You don’t have to be possessive of it.”
“Will you shut up?” your sister desists when you emphasize the threatening undertone of your words, but she’s still smiling widely even when you leave the table, and she’s already poised to lean forward to talk to your mom, who looks equally as suspicious and nosy. Birds of a feather.
You make a beeline for the stairs and away from the dinnertime chatter, taking two steps at a time to your room, and your door swings open just in time for you to hear the message notification noise from your laptop, still open and running on 3% on your bed. After saving it from certain death, you lay down stomach-flat in front of it, surprised to see that a new set of messages have invaded your account.
Huang Renjun: home. See you tomorrow
Na Jaemin: also wait is it just me or was Chenle your date to junior prom last year
Na Jaemin: I swear I remember him asking me if I had seen you go into an empty classroom with someone else 
You ignore both open windows, minimizing Renjun’s and closing Jaemin’s entirely, all because a new window, blinking between white and blue, has caught your eye. 
Lee Jeno: hey 
Heat climbs up to your cheeks at an alarming rate, and you can see from the weak reflection of your face on your laptop screen that you’re grinning. Your fingers hover over the keyboard for an intense minute of you thinking about what to reply, and you type out various possible responses ranging from “how’s it going?” to just a single wink emoji, but your brain at least takes control at the last second and lets you type back a similarly casual “hey.” 
Less than two minutes pass, and the three telltale dots appear right next to the minimized version of Jeno’s profile picture. Your breathing catches at the sight of this, and you devour the words that appear in the consequent chat bubble. 
Lee Jeno: how’s the project coming along? 
You: it’s going great!
You: I have some ideas if you feel like discussing them a little 
Lee Jeno: I wouldn’t really know what to discuss
Lee Jeno: anything on that list of ideas that’s going to give me a sure pass in this subject lol 
Okay, so you don’t have ideas. That’s what Renjun was supposed to be here for, but you hadn’t gotten anything done. So far, you had that water thing with the weird name and zilch. 
You: um I guess it kind of depends on what you’re interested in! 
Lee Jeno: physics isn’t my strong suit so I’m letting u take the lead here 
You: okay, how about the Mpemba effect? 
Lee Jeno: which is? 
You:  something to do with water?
Lee Jeno: oh, cool, like swimming? 
You’re shot of ideas already. You don’t even know what it is, and you’re pitching it to meet Jeno’s pretty high expectations, which is just depressing. Quickly reopening your chat with Renjun, you send a panicked message. 
You: RenjNun HELP 
Huang Renjun:  ????
You: Jeno’s asking me for the topic for the term paper and I’ve got NOTHING
You: can you please re-explain the Mpemba effect and how I’m supposed to turn that into a good term project
Read 8:48 PM 
You see the little green dot disappear from beside Renjun’s name, and your heart plummets. Maybe he’s just having dinner really suddenly. Like, life or death, have-to-eat kind of situation. It would make sense, and it’s a lot less painful as an alternative to what could actually be the reason behind him suddenly ghosting on you. 
You: you know what, how about we just talk about the topic tomorrow? You: maybe we can decide then if we really want to do it 
Lee Jeno: oh, okay, sounds good to me
Lee Jeno: lunch tom? 
You: works for me! 
Lee Jeno: cool! see you : ) 
You only realize you’ve been holding your breath for the last part of the conversation when you exhale fiercely, fanning yourself with an open palm. So you’re having lunch with Jeno tomorrow. That’s… cool. More than cool. It’s a big fucking deal. An even stupider grin crosses your face as you roll onto your back, and you pay very little mind to the new message that pops up onto your screen. 
Na Jaemin: if you need any help with your project, don’t hesitate to ask! ^^ 
                                                *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
You’d spent the entirety of the morning really looking forward to your lunch date with Jeno (date being a term you’d added yourself, but it seemed like a reasonable addendum), and you’d been trying to figure out what to pitch to him, even doing a quick Google search of easy term projects right before homeroom. You’d had many expectations for the one glorious hour you’d be eating with him, but in your excitement to get to that point in your day, you’d left out a pretty important factor. 
In your defense, Renjun hadn’t replied all night, so of course you were bound to put him on the back burner, right? Still, it’s common knowledge — tradition, even — between the both of you to spend your lunch break together, and Renjun wasn’t really prepared to suddenly forego this custom today, considering he didn’t know about your more important plans (which, again, was his fault considering he hadn’t bothered to message back). This little snag is the reason why you find yourself sitting next to a sullen best friend who’s more interested in picking out the sesame seeds from atop his gimbap roll than talking to you. 
“It’s not a big deal,” you attempt to get him to see reason again. “It’s just one lunch. You don’t even have to listen! He’s not going to stop you from eating.”
“Not verbally, but his presence will nauseate me so much that I’ll end up without an appetite anyway.”
You have to give it to him — Renjun’s penchant for drama is completely unmatched. Your temper flares a little, but you try to swallow it down to avoid any more huge scenes in the cafeteria. “You’re being stupid.”
“I’m being stupid? Suddenly you can tell when I am but you can’t see it in all of Jeno’s F’s?” 
“Will you stop taking jabs at him? We’re talking about your behavior, not his grades.”
“We barely have any classes together. Lunch time is the only time we really have these days,” Renjun’s voice has a twinge of bitterness to it that’s way too sharp to the ears. “Is it that hard to just meet him when I’m not around?” 
“For the record, I’m not forcing you to stay.”
“Oh, so you’d prefer it if I leave, then,” there’s no denying the sting in his tone. “Okay, that’s how it is.”
“Renjun, come on — of course I don’t want you to leave. Having lunch with you is always great; it’s just one other person for one day.”
“Any other person on multiple other days is fine! But not this person, ________________!”
“I can’t believe how many times I have to keep asking you why you hate him so much!”
“And I can’t believe how many times I have to tell you it’s the fact that you like him that I can’t stand!” 
“Ahem.”
A new voice joins the fray; both of you look up to see Jeno towering over your table, tray in hand and looking fairly confused. His eyes skip between your abashed expression and Renjun’s livid one, but he has the good sense to set his tray down carefully onto the table, choosing to keep his vision fixed on you. 
“We… were going to talk, right?” 
“Yes! Of course — sorry. We were just… chatting.” 
You pointedly ignore the disbelief in Renjun’s face, more relieved at the fact that Jeno at least seems to buy your stupid lie, taking a seat in front of you. He unwraps his sandwich, taking an endearingly large bite and chewing as he looks up at you with that extremely lazy, extremely sexy expression he often gets during class lectures. 
“So,” he starts. 
“So I have this list of possible topics, if you want to take a look at them really quickly before deciding—” You pull out a piece of paper to the tune of Renjun’s scoff. “We can totally go for something else if none of them match your goals.”
“Oh cool,” his mouth is still half-full of ham and white bread as he reaches over and takes the paper, skimming over it with an expression that could, to the untrained eye, be considered somewhat glassy. To you, it simply says casual interest. Very trendy. 
“So what is your goal, Jeno?” Renjun pipes up after ten minutes of uncomfortable silence and Jeno’s attempt to read through your atrocious handwriting, using one of his chopsticks to spear a piece of gimbap viciously. “Graduate somehow without getting anyone pregnant?”
Two pairs of eyes move to Renjun’s mouth, which is opening up a horrendously and unnecessarily huge way to accommodate his food. Your face is much more appalled than Jeno’s is, though, since there’s still a tinge of thoughtful confusion swimming around in his eyes.
“I mean, I haven’t really thought about it that much, but I guess that’s as good a goal as any.”
“I bet it is,” Renjun’s mouth curls up into a horrible smirk. “For you.”
“You know what I was thinking,” you cut him off, and Jeno, thankfully, turns his attention to you, deprived of the time to process Renjun’s comment. “We could try doing that one about the most efficient material to use as sunshade for automobiles since… since you… like cars. Don’t you?” 
“Cars are cool,” he hums nonchalantly. “We could do that.”
“Cars are cool,” Renjun mocks under his breath. You throw him another warning look, which he responds to by devouring another piece of gimbap. 
“If that doesn’t really float your boat, then there’s this one —“ you hesitate in reaching for the paper, but you’re already halfway through the process of leaning in, so you end up with your torso in an awkward horizontal position on the surface of the table. Jeno turns the paper slightly towards you, and you point to an item on the list. “This thing about the relational frequency between notes in harmony sounds pretty interesting too. I think.” 
“Oh, yeah,” he turns the paper back to himself, squinting at the words. “That sounds pretty cool too, actually.”
“How cool?” Renjun butts in again, ignoring you when you punch his thigh under the table, save for a wince that goes as suddenly as it comes. “Like, on a scale of one to ten, ten being as cool as skipping class for the new Fast and Furious movie, and one being as cool as taking advantage of naive girls to do work for you while you half-ass your way through the rest of the year.” 
The silence that ensues is common in all but nature. Renjun’s is a smug silence, while Jeno’s is one of total astonishment. Yours, on the other hand, stems from the rage bubbling in your chest, and it’s taking all of your energy not to blow a fuse. Angry you isn’t cute, and Jeno should never have to see you in a negative light. 
“Actually,” Jeno starts slowly, clearing his throat when his first word comes out a little raspy. “I… just remembered Jaemin and I were supposed to meet at the field at half past noon, so… I gotta go.” 
This is the closest you’ve felt like dying this year, which is saying something, because just yesterday you had had the contents of a coke can spill down your back. You barely manage an “okay” before Jeno gets up, taking his tray with him and walking towards the return corner in long strides. Briefly, you think you should apologize to him, but this thought is derailed by Renjun burping unceremoniously and patting his stomach in satisfaction. 
“Our cafeteria makes the best gimbap. Ever. I said it from day one, and I’ll say it until the day I die.” 
“Well,” you snap your head back towards him, lower lip quivering. “I hope that day comes soon.” 
“Woah,” he lifts his palms up defensively. “I literally asked him, like, two harmless questions. Does that really call for murderous intent?” 
“You insulted him! Your stupid questions were totally uncalled for, and you could have just kept your mouth shut, but you couldn’t even sit fifteen minutes with him and just let us talk about our project?” 
“Oh, right, your project, in the plural,” he rolls his eyes. “The one he’s contributing so much to, right?” 
“We’re bouncing ideas! I’m sorry we can’t be as intelligent as you in your high and mighty advanced placement classes, but we’re doing our best!” 
“Wait – we are doing our best? When are you going to stop talking for him?” His voice is rising now too, and a couple of freshmen sitting at the next table glance back at the both of you in mild interest. “He can’t even defend himself! He knows he’s just taking advantage of you, so why are you still defending him?” 
“Oh, right, of course!” You feign smacking your forehead, except the intensity of your movement actually does cause your palm to make contact, leaving what would be a slightly pink mark just below your hairline. “I forgot! I’m a naive girl that doesn’t know what she’s doing and is just so stupid that she doesn’t even know she’s letting some guy walk on her!” 
“You are letting him walk on you! You’re already busting ass on something he doesn’t even care about!” 
“I know what I’m doing!” You half-yell, slamming down your chopsticks with finality. “You think I don’t know I’m acting like a total fool? You keep making fun of me, telling me I’m stupid for liking him because he’ll never like me back. I get it, okay? I know what you think of him, and I know what you think of me, too.” 
“_____________, that’s not what I meant. I’m just saying you could do —“ 
“Better — yeah, I know! You keep saying that, but all I’m hearing is that you can’t just let me like him, you can’t just let me be happy, you can’t just support me even when this crush isn’t doing anything to you.” Your chair makes an awful scraping noise as you push it back, picking up your tray and ignoring Renjun’s shell-shocked face. “I know I’m acting like a total idiot around him, but I like him. And I know he’s never going to like me back, but I’m happy just liking him like this, and sometimes when you like someone, you’ll do stupid things for them. It’s just a harmless crush. You don’t have to be such a dick about it.” 
He opens his mouth to say something — a retort, or maybe an apology. You don’t feel like hearing either of those things, though, so you spin on your heel before he can utter anything, heading for the return corner first and slamming your tray down on the cart before storming towards the cafeteria door. It swings open just when you’re about to push (probably kick) it open, and you jump back, glaring a little blindly at the person coming through. 
“Woah,” Jaemin keeps the door open, stepping aside so you can pass. “Hey, _________________. I thought you and Jeno were supposed to — are you okay?” 
“I’m fine,” you huff, your voice indicating the total opposite. “Just reconsidering my long-standing relationships.” 
“… Meaning?” 
“Meaning I have a best friend position open right now if you know anyone willing to apply.” 
“Oh,” he looks a little befuddled; his fingers are playing against the bar on the door. “I’ll… keep that in mind, then. Did you and Renjun—?” 
“Who?” 
Jaemin’s mouth is hanging open, possibly at a loss for words at your vicious tone. You breathe in, the inhale shaky as it enters your lungs, and your fingers tremble as you wave the topic of Renjun away. “Sorry. I have to go. Jeno’s probably out on the field looking for you, or whatever.” 
“Oh — thanks,” he still looks flummoxed, but he doesn’t press, and he allows you to walk off in your cloud of anger and embarrassment in silence, his jaw still slightly slack.
                                                *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
You spend the rest of lunch break and your free period crying in the library. You’re not even sure why you’re crying at all; all these horrible emotions overlapped and settled in your chest, and the only logical course of relief seemed to be just to cry next to the non-fiction aisle. In between hiccups, you bring your phone out, drafting messages to Renjun first then Jeno, both in paragraphs, but deleting them after reading them over and finding redundancies and typographical errors, simply allowing the next wave of tears to come streaming down. In the end, you only manage to send one message. 
You: I’m sorry. For snapping at you. You didn’t deserve that. 
Na Jaemin: No apology needed ^^
Na Jaemin: Totally unrelated, of course, but I heard that chamomile tea is good for calming ^^
At the end of the day, you get kicked out of the library for sobbing a little too loudly in the last half hour of your free period, and you just wander aimlessly through the second floor before sluggishly heading down for class. As you approach the classroom, however, the numbness that had replaced your frustration had been pushed aside by a grown dread; knowing that you have to see Jeno, that you have to sit next to him, and that you have to apologize for Renjun’s stupid behavior when you can’t even string two really nice sentences around him is stressing you out, and you walk into the room with your teeth gnawing at the skin around your nail. 
Jeno is already there, a sheen of sweat on his brow, his eyebrows knit together as he stares down at a piece of paper on the table. You shuffle up to him, trying to sniffle very quietly to avoid startling him, and he looks up at all the noise you make, his expression morphing into something that looks… apologetic? 
“Hello,” your voice sounds disgusting, like you had spent the better part of your day stuffing tissues up your nose — which, come to think of it, you kind of had. 
“Hey,” his response is careful, and it doesn’t invite any more immediate discussion, so you sit down, and he turns his attention back to the paper. Out of the corner of your eye, you see that it’s the list of topics you’d written down. His long fingers tap between a couple of lines idly. 
You don’t know why, but this somehow is… comforting. Couple that with the fact that he now keeps stealing glances at you, like he’s trying to figure out how to open another conversation at the right time. 
“Um…” he lifts his head up at the sound of your voice. “Jeno, I just —“ 
“I’m sorry,” he cuts you off suddenly, and his voice bursts like he’s been holding it in for the longest time. You’re perplexed, to say the least; was he trying to fill in the blanks for you, or something? This theory is just debunked when he plows on. “I’m sorry, _________________. I didn’t really —“ 
“Wait,” you had never imagined you would find yourself stopping him from talking, considering how much you liked listening to him talk, but you feel like the need to clarify the situation is more pressing at the moment. “Wait, why are you apologizing? I was supposed to apologize.”
“What for?” He looks genuinely shocked, and your hands make random gestures to the abstract past. 
“For — for what happened! During lunch!” 
“That’s what I was going to apologize for. That was just… it was terrible. I’m sorry.” 
“I know it was, but that’s why I was apologizing,” you feel like you’re missing something totally fundamental considering that Jeno’s face is just growing more confused by the second.
“You were the one that had to sit through that mess.” 
“Me? No, I’m — it’s not about me,” his brows lift in disbelief. “I mean… your friend said some pretty wild stuff, but —“ 
“Yeah, so I’m — sorry, are we even talking about the same thing–-?” 
“I’m saying sorry because —“ he inhales, a hand coming up to knead at his temple briefly. Oh, good. He’s having a similarly hard time understanding this, too. “Because you didn’t have to go through that. That was humiliating.” 
“For you, yeah, I’m sure —“ 
“But also,” Jeno raises a hand, silencing you. “Because your friend — despite all the shitty things he said, he was right.“ 
“What… do you mean?” 
His hand touches his lips, fingers skating across his lower one as if it’s trying to will the right words to come out faster. “I… I mean, I told you. I’m not good at this physics stuff. And I just don’t have the brain power to get this done. So I really was kind of hoping you’d… you know. Do it. With as little help from me as possible preferably. I’m not proud of this,” he adds quickly. “I’m just really used to skating by. And I kind of knew you would let me, anyway. And I’m sorry for thinking of you that way. I deserved that call out.” 
He looks so terribly hurt that you can’t imagine what other emotion you’re supposed to feel apart from sympathy. “It’s okay, Jeno.” 
“That’s the thing; it’s really not. I’m not supposed to be taking advantage of other people like this. Especially not someone like you.” 
Someone like you? You’re quickly going through all the possibilities of what that implies, so much so that you miss the moment in which Jeno leans a little closer to you. You come back down to earth to see him a lot more clearly than you had a second or two ago. 
“Can I make it up to you?” 
“Can you h-hu-h—“ you blubber, collecting yourself at the last second. “Make it up to me?” 
“I’m never going to be of any real help in this project, so it’d be unrealistic if I told you I’d pull equal weight. But I’ll do what I can, if and when you need me to,” he slips the paper of topics back to you. Vaguely, you notice he’s circled a topic in blue pen. 
“That’s… I’m fine with that.” 
“In exchange for you taking the reins on this one,” he taps the paper. “I’ll make sure you graduate as the coolest girl on campus. Deal?”
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iv. couch.
read on ao3
To Lena: r u busy??? U didnt answer my calls. Dinner later?
To Lena: my place.
To Lena: Or yours! Can totally go to urs. If u want.
To Lena: Lena????
To Lena: where are u??
To Lena: Answer my calls
To Lena: Pls?
Kara rounds the corner of her hallway, keys bitten, dangling from her lips, as she types with both hands. Her 67th text message of the day to an MIA Lena Luthor sent. She fails to notice the creature lurking around the front of her door; dark fur shining under the cheap LED lights of Kara’s corridor.
She’s still deeply absorbed in her phone with worry, in the middle of jamming her keys in with one hand, when something furry brushes against her legs and Kara yelps.
She pulls the knob clean out of the wood in shock, her phone dropping to the floor loudly, the cat doing a duet with her with a startled yowl of her own.
Heart hammering and adrenaline racing, Kara looks down and sees the cat for the first time.
“Oh! Oh!” she gasps, “I didn’t see you there, buddy. I’m sorry for startling you!! I didn’t mean it.”
The door knob clatters loudly to the ground as it falls out of her grasp. And Kara sheepishly feels guilty for the hole in her door. But the cat meows loudly, catching her attention, as if in response to her apology.
She crouches down low, and reaches out a hand to touch the furball. She snaps a quick pic, sends it to Lena and pockets her phone.
To Lena: KITTY!!
“Oh, oh come here,” she coos, “where’s your collar? How’d you get here huh?”
The cat reminds her of Streaky. The first stray who ever took to her kindly. Although upon closer inspection, Kara realizes this one has striking emeralds for eyes, Streaky’s eyes were a more softer blue.
The cat surprisingly seems friendly, immediately leaning into Kara’s touch. Nosing at the inside of Kara’s wrist and it’s such a familiar gesture but she can’t seem to remember why.
And...oh, a small rumbling echoes through Kara’s palm!
Oh, they’re purring!
Kara doesn’t know how long she stays there crouched low exactly, but eventually, she stands up, takes her hand away, and picks up the damaged doorknob.
“Well, time for you to go home now, buddy,” she tells them, giving their head one last pat before dusting off her hands on her jacket.
“Go on, shooo. Shoo. Go home. I’m sure your human is looking for you.”
But the cat remains unmoving. It looks like they’ve decided to sit firmly in front of Kara’s doorstep, casually licking a paw, as if waiting for Kara to open her door.
“Are you actually waiting for me to open my door?” Kara makes a mental note to thank Rao that none of her neighbors can see her trying to hold a proper conversation with a cat.
“Look, kitty,” she says firmly, “I’m not your human.”
The cat just blinks owlishly at her. Eyes too green, too intelligent and-
Kara makes up her mind.
She turns her face skywards, takes a deep breath (This will probably backfire, she already knows. But she's always had a soft spot for strays.) and then she pushes her door wide open.
The cat races inside, cutting through Kara’s legs and almost tripping her.
“Well, somebody’s excited,” Kara mutters under her breath, she watches the cat head for her living room couch; watches as they pause all of a sudden, changes course and jumps onto Kara’s coffee table instead.
Where the cat then proceeds to knock down everything in close vicinity, even the picture frame of her and Lena together.
“Hey! No! Bad kitty-”
But the cat is already hopping down from her pedestal, landing on the frame directly.
And then things get weird.
The cat proceeds to stomp all over it, meows loud, like really loud; insanely loud for a cat their size.
Her paw seems to be almost pointing? At the other person in the frame.
“I-” Kara seems taken aback by the bizarre behavior, sure she knows cats are vastly different from dogs, but this…
This is just weird.
The cat’s meowing only seems to get louder.
How you land yourselves in these situations, Kara. I really just don’t know, at this point. She can almost hear Alex say.
“What are you- Are you- are you pointing? That’s- That’s Lena, yeah. That’s my best friend.”
At that, the cat seems to vibrate. They start clawing at Kara’s pant leg, meowing and meowing and meowing—
And then it hits her.
"-but it turns out that she’s a witch. And apparently, so am I."
The green, green eyes.
A pink nose nuzzling against her wrist.
“Lena?”
******
“Oh, Rao! Lena you’re a cat! What happened?! Oh, no, baby what did you do?”
Lena-
Lena The Cat—and okay, so she’s still wrapping her head around that one—just stays silent. She’s sitting on her lap, looking regal than any cat has any right to be. A judgmental look in her eyes.
Lena’s a cat. Cat’s can’t speak. Can’t answer Kara’s questions.
“Right. Sorry. Only meow,” Kara murmurs, embarrassed. For some reason even in cat form Lena manages to be intimidating.
“Okay so, uh d-does that mean you still understand me? Two meows for yes. One meow for no.”
Kara gets two meows.
“Okay, cool, cool. Great. You can still understand me, that's good.” Kara runs a hand down her spine, “Gosh, your fur is just so soft.”
She hears Lena give a small growl, body tensing, “Right. Right. Sorry. Not the time for pets.” Kara retracts her hand away.
“Uhm, so next question then, I guess? D-did you become a cat this morning? Were you testing out your uhm...gift?”
Lena meows twice. Kara nods, clenching and unclenching her fist underneath her chin. Fingers itching to run themselves through Lena’s soft fur again. Lena seems to sense this, and nuzzles her face into Kara’s hand, bumps against her repeatedly.
“Really?” Kara double-checks, giddy. If she were human Kara bets Lena would be rolling her eyes like she always does when Kara does something particularly dorky, but she just pushes her head firmer against Kara’s hand and meows twice.
“So uhm,” she starts, cautiously, noting Lena’s increasing purr, “is there like a spellbook for this or something? Something that can help you transform back?
Lena meows yes.
“Is it in The Tower or back at your place?”
There are no responses.
“Sorry, sorry lemme rephrase, is it in The Tower?”
She gets two consecutive meows.
Okay, to The Tower it is.
******
“Are you going to tell me why you’re cradling a cat in your cape or??” Alex raises a brow at her, a hand on her hip, left foot tapping impatiently. Her sister was heading out for the day, it looks like. It was just tough luck that Supergirl landed one minute before the elevator took Alex.
Crap. Now they have to explain. They didn’t talk about this. Lena still hasn’t told her if it was okay to tell people about her gift.
“I-I rescued it,” Kara says.
Well, that isn’t so far from the truth, right? She stares at the bundle in her arms, Lena the traitor staying silent all the while—green eyes shining all innocent at Kara.
Alex’s stares intensifies.
“From a tree,” Kara flounders, and Lena The Cat has the audacity to yawn, squirm and jump away from her arms. She lands gracefully, tail swishing up in the air and heads straight for the lab.
Alex eyes the cat suspiciously before turning back to Kara. She jabs a finger to her chest. “It better not have any fleas. It better not touch my training mat.”
“She won’t.”
Alex just shakes her head, rolls her eyes, grabs her helmet and walks to the elevator.
Before she goes though, Alex says, “You know, this is gonna sound weird, but I swear I think I saw that same cat slinking out of The Tower earlier this morning.”
“Alex, she’s literally a black cat. There are hundreds of black cats in the city.”
“You're being weirdly defensive about this. Why are you being weird?”
“I’m not.”
Alex seems like she wants to say more, but the elevator dings, and she’s never been more grateful that Kelly makes Alex pick her up from work. Alex huffs out breath, before conceding and disappearing into the lift.
******
The camera flash is what gets Kara busted.
But is it really her fault if she walked in on a cute kitty, hunched over, meowing adorably, trying to flip over the pages of a thick spellbook, with her teeny-tiny bean paws?
Lena hisses at her, teeth-bared and fur puffy.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. But you were just really, really, really cute okay?” She walks closer to the desk, carefully lifts a hand and scratches Lena behind the ear.
The hissing slowly devolves into purring, and Kara grins triumphantly. Lena lets herself be picked up after a few moments, Kara leafing through the pages for her.
“So, found anything yet?” She asks, cradling Lena close to her chest. A warm weight on Kara’s arms, and as much as she wants to get her real Lena back, she also isn’t too eager on giving up this version anytime soon. Then again, Kara thinks, it would be impossible for her to give up any version of Lena Luthor.
“Spell? Charm? Anything? Do you need to make a potion? Are we gonna get to make a potion? Oh, oh do you need a wand? Do you have a wa-”
Kara’s words get muffled as two black paws press against her lips. Lena’s green eyes narrowing at her. She meows at Kara. Loudly.
“Mkay, mkay. Shut up. Got it.”
Lena removes her paws, and Kara makes a gesture of zipping her lips together. This seems to appease Lena enough because the next second, a pink tongue darts out and she...licks Kara's nose.
“Did you- did you just lick me?” Kara gasps out.
Lena doesn’t even acknowledge her with a meow, just turns away and jumps out of her arms again. Before Kara can do anything about it though, her phone rings.
The screen lighting up with Andrea’s name.
“Danvers, I’ve got a story for you.”
******
“Alex, please, I’ll be quick. I promise. I’ll only be three hours at the most. Please just look after her,” she pleads, pouting and puppy eyes in full power.
It also helps that the cat burrito in her cape looks to be cooperating. Lena The Cat staring at Alex with wide round eyes.
Apparently, some governor was found dead downtown, and now Andrea wants her on the scene. She can’t just leave Lena all alone in The Tower. No matter how hard Lena’s been protesting, this is brand new territory for both of them. Nobody knows the extent of Lena’s powers.
Point is, Kara would feel a lot better if she were to leave Lena under the care of someone she trusts. Even if said someone, accuses Lena of being a stray with fleas. It's still better than leaving Lena all on her own.
“Ugh.” Alex groans and Kara knows she’s won. “If this cat causes trouble I will throw it out the window, Kara.”
“No!” Kara yells, distressed. “Don’t do that. She’ll behave. She promises.”
She puts her hand under Lena’s arms and raises her up to eye level—Simba style. “You promise to be good for Alex, don’t you?”
All she gets is a lot of squirming and screaming, there were also a lot of attempts at scratching Kara’s nose.
“See?” Kara says, chuckling nervously. “She’s telling you she’s good.”
Alex looks skeptical, her arms crossed against her chest.
Kara sets her down on the couch, and crouches down low.
She tries to pet her head, but Lena bites at her finger, she catches her teeth on the skin of her supersuit’s thumb slot. She bites deeper, her teeth accomplishing nothing but a few dents.
And oh, Rao she thinks she’s such a feral little cat but her pink adorable gummy snarl says otherwise.
“I’m sorry, I’ll be back. I promise,” she whispers, careful not to let Alex hear. “And then we’ll figure it out later, okay? The safest place for you right now is to be with Alex.”
She really doesn’t want to go, and based on Lena’s protests she doesn’t want Kara to go either. But well, Andrea had finally threatened to fire her if she disobeyed...which is...fair.
She’s aware she’s been doing a less than stellar job at being a journalist lately. Rao, what an understatement. This is basically her make it or break it.
“Look, I’ll be quick, promise. Be good to Alex,” Kara murmurs. She presses a kiss on Lena’s furry forehead. Lena finally unclenches her jaw and lets Kara go. The little whine she lets out, letting Kara know that she knows the battle’s lost.
“Both of you, be good,” Kara tells them sternly. “Alex, please don’t yeet my cat out of the window.”
Alex shrugs, staring at the cat with suspicion. “I make no promises.’
Lena is staring at Alex just as hostile. Great. They both deserve each other.
Kara sighs exasperatedly. Well, at least she tried.
******
She gets a very angry Alex Danvers on the line, right after she’s finished talking to some sources. It’s nighttime now, and when she checks her watch—yep, she’s left Lena in Alex’s care for more than six hours.
Crap.
“Hey, Al—”
“KARA IF YOU DON’T PICK UP THIS THIS THIS GODDAMNED HAIRBALL RIGHT NOW, YOU WILL NEVER SEE IT EVER AGAIN.”
There is loud meowing, and then, “What the- Get off! Get off me right no-”
The line clicks dead.
Kara Danvers quickly changes into an alley, manages to break the sound barrier.
******
It’s Kelly who opens the door.
“Hey, Kara,” she greets her. Kara is impatiently rocking on her heels, trying to peer past Kelly’s shoulders.
The place was quiet; ridiculously quiet, and Kara feels fear swoop in her belly.
“Please, tell me my cat is still alive,” Kara bursts out, Kelly just gives her a pained smile and oh, no, oh no.
She muscles her way past Kelly to a brooding Alex on the couch.
Lena is nowhere to be seen.
“Alex, Alex where’s my cat? Where is she? Where did you put her?”
Alex finally looks up at her, Kara taking notice of the red marks on her arm.
Oh no, Lena, what did you do?
“Calm down, I didn’t throw the little demon away. She’s-" Alex sing-songs before finishing, "on time-out.”
“Time-out?” Kara asks, voice shaking. Rao, does she really want to know.
Alex takes too long to answer, taking a swig of her beer first before pointing to a corner in the living room.
And there, she spots it.
It, being a small pile of laundry on the floor, next to an upside down hamper. A big white hamper housing one Lena Luthor. There's a crude cardboard sign stuck on it; "Kitty Jail". Alex has also stacked a few encyclopedia on top of it, no doubt an attempt to keep Lena from escaping.
“Oh! Oh, Lena!”
Kara superspeeds her way and scoops Lena up, the cat meowing immediately and curling into Kara’s chest.
“You named the cat after Lena?!”
Crap.
Kara turns around slowly, “Uhm yeah?”
Alex just shakes her head. “Unbelievable.”
“Her eyes reminded me of Lena, okay?!” Kara yells defensively, pressing tiny kisses onto Lena’s fur.
“I’m sorry that Alex has been such a meanie to you," she coos, "I know you didn’t deserve it, baby."
Alex seems to perk up at that, because she raises up from the couch. “That,” Alex jabs a finger in their direction, Kara cradles Lena protectively, “That baby ruined my couch and she so totally deserves all the mean! All the mean in the world, Kara!”
Lena hisses in her arms.
“No, no. That’s not true. Lena is baby and she’s perfect and you’re just a meanie.”
“She ruined my upholstery! She left hair all over the place and that’s not even to mention the scratching!”
“Because you were mean to her!”
Alex scoffs, eyes bulging wide in disbelief.
“Get out,” Alex says, her brows pinching comically, “Get out of my apartment before that little devil causes more damage.”
“Gladly,” Kara says, and Lena meows her assent. They make their way past Alex, Kara unaware that Lena has stuck out her little tongue at Alex over her shoulder.
“And she’s not a little devil!” Kara calls out.
Alex slams the door in her face.
******
That evening, Kara pores over a thick spellbook, eyes swimming with Latin symbols with a purring machine on her lap.
By midnight, Kara has managed to pass out on her couch, a black cat curled on her chest.
The spellbook lay open on her coffee table, forgotten.
******
The first sight that greets Kara when she wakes up are green eyes.
Green human eyes.
And then it hits her.
“Lena!”
The spell had blessedly wore off by morning, and Kara’s never been more glad to see the sunlight lighting up Lena’s face.
For a moment, Kara’s assaulted with the mental image of laying in a pool of sunlight with a black cat stretching leisurely next to her.
“Good morning,” Lena purrs, and oh Rao, that sound is much, much better than her meowing.
“You’re back!” Kara gasps in awe.
“I’m back,” she whispers, she’s still draped fully over Kara on the couch. A blanket covering them both.
“Rao, I missed you.” A palm comes up to cup her cheeks, Lena automatically nuzzling into the inside of her wrist.
“Mm, I missed me, too,” Lena tells her, face breaking into a small smile. Kara traces her fingers up and down Lena’s spine. Oh, how she’s missed touching Lena’s skin.
Wait-
Skin.
Is she-
“Lena,” Kara begins, swallowing. Her nerves not going unnoticed.
Lena raises a brow at her. “Kara?”
“Are you- uhm- ah. Are you naked right now?”
Lena’s eyes light up like a cat’s and Kara knows she’s in trouble.
“Mm. It seems that I am,” Lena says, and all Kara can do is gulp.
“What are you gonna do about it?”
special shoutout to @mike-wachowski, @sexybread-png and @thebreakfastgod for their cat expertise without whom this silly little fic would not be written.
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calculated, m | jjk
pairing(s): jungkook x reader
summary: Some people would call you far too serious. Some would call you stuck-up. And some would call you a bitch. But to freshman Jeon Jungkook, you’re the head Calculus I TA noona  – and he’s determined to fuck you.
warnings: rated M (18+) for language; intense smut (fem reader, semi-public sex, pussy spanking, fingering, m-receiving oral, doggy, dirty talk); non-idol!AU - university!AU; dom!Jungkook x sub!noona!reader, ft instigator Jimin lol
--
part i | part ii | part iii | part iv
-
"I think Jungkook likes you."
The lead of your mechanical pencil snapped suddenly. Stupid soft graphite. You glared at it, annoyed, and brushed the broken piece away to complete the equation. 
"Who?"
"I think he's taking the afternoon class."
You double-checked the last question and handed him his homework back. "Jimin, you used the wrong equation, here and here."
Park Jimin frowned, face falling when he saw all your corrections. Being one of your parents' friends' kids, your parents and his parents naturally asked you to help him out when he entered the same university as you. You pretty much figured the likelihood of Jimin speaking to you was zero, since he was a dance major and you were a graphics design major. You shrugged and agreed.
Except you forgot you were also the head Calculus I TA and Calculus I was a required course for all students. And, turns out, Jimin wasn't that great at math. That's why you were sitting on cushions at your coffee table in your apartment with Park Jimin, watching a music program as you checked his homework.
"Oh."
Jimin began to look over your arrows and circles. You never actually gave him the answer. He usually ended up forgetting a step in the middle and thus fucked the answer. Usually he caught on easily once you pointed it out. 
You stared at the television screen, listening to the latest hit. Not bad. Catchy. 
"I think I should tell you because he's kind of reckless," Jimin was saying.
You placed a hand under your head and took a sip of your tea, distracted by the cute MC with the blue hair. He had a cute smile. It reminded you of a bunny.
"Who?"
"Jeon Jungkook," Jimin snapped impatiently.
You raised an eyebrow and faced Jimin. "Oi. I'm correcting your homework here. I could just correct it tomorrow and hand it back to you with red marks instead," you threatened.
He pouted at you, his full lower lip sticking out. "Sorry, noona."
You sighed. "Don't call me that. Makes me feel ancient." You turned your body so you faced him as he scowled at his homework. "Okay, okay, I'm listening now. What did you want to say?"
Jimin put his pencil down immediately and began to chat like an excited gossiping auntie. Round brown eyes getting rounder, glad for a break from his math homework. You didn't want to get him started, but he was going to nag you incessantly until you let him talk.
"I think he sits in the back?" Jimin pondered. "Dark longish hair, wears a lot of black. Looks scary when he's thinking because his eyes go really wide and he furrows his brows."
You twisted your mouth to the side and thought. You only attended the class when they had quizzes or exams because during lectures the professor didn't need your help. Mostly you remembered people by their personal scores or their handwriting, because you graded everything as the head TA. Looking at people's faces wasn't really necessary, unless you were looking for cheating. 
"Can't recall. I remember his handwriting though. Not bad," you said, shrugging. "I think he's pretty highly ranked at the moment."
"I think he likes you."
You scoffed. "How did you come to that consensus?"
Jimin tapped his temple sagely. "Intuition."
"If only you used that intuition on Calculus."
He frowned at you, pouting again. You let out a puff of air, conceding.
"What do you want me to do about it?"
Jimin scratched the back of his head. "Well, er... I'm just warning you."
"... Is he a serial killer or something?"
"No, no, no!" Jimin waved his hands on the air hurriedly. "He's really nice. But he can be kind of, uh... forward."
"How old is he?" you asked, glancing at the television for a moment as you took another long sip of your tea.
"Two years younger than me."
You choked. 
"What?" you squeaked between coughs. Jimin hurried over and patted your back as you struggled, becoming pink in the face. "The fuck? Tell him to find someone his own age."
"I did!" Jimin whined. "But he's stubborn."
You rolled your eyes. "You're warning me that I have to break a poor freshman's heart?"
"Kind of."
You rubbed your throat. "Hmph. Darn whippersnappers these days."
Jimin smacked your arm, laughing. "I thought you weren't ancient?"
"I am now knowing some kid is fantasizing about their fucking Calculus TA."
You had said your comment sarcastically. You fully expected Jimin to make some joke, but he froze up a little. You looked over to him. He looked somewhat guilty, like a lost puppy who got caught stealing food. You sighed and patted his back.
"Don't worry, I won't chew your friend's heart out. Finish your homework, so I don't drop you off too late. You have practice in the morning, yeah?"
"Y-yeah, thanks."
-
Forward, huh?
An understatement. 
You were sitting in one of the math department offices, laptop open, your drawing tablet in your lap, thinking. The conversation with Jimin happened about two days ago. In that time, you hadn't attended either morning or afternoon class yet, since it was only lectures. Not that it mattered, because lecture halls were massive. If this Jungkook kid sat in the back, then you probably wouldn't be able to see him anyway. At the moment, however, you were preoccupied with your assignment, to design a logo. Logo designing was difficult, especially since a school assignment didn't exactly have a real client attached to it to ask questions. 
Technically these were Calculus I office hours, but who attended office hours? Nobody.
Who attended any type of calculus office hours?
Yeah, exactly. 
You spent the time doing homework with the door open. You were the only TA that actually showed up for the office hours. Every other TA said it was a waste of time. It was. You still came through; in the off chance some poor kid decided her grade mattered. You felt bad since the actual professor wasn't very patient when people needed extra help. Also, technically you were the head TA, so you did have a bit more responsibility than the others.
Your black boots were perched on the desk as you sat back in your office chair, sketching a few ideas. If a member of the math department saw you, you would probably get in trouble. Thankfully, the math department was usually deserted. Math wasn't exactly the most social subject. 
You took a sip of your tea from your thermos, tapping your tablet pen on your black jean-covered thigh. 
"You look even better close-up, noona."
A clear, silvery, male voice cut through the silence. The voice came from the doorframe right in front of the desk. You frowned, slowly lifting your head from your tablet. How had you not heard him? Were you really that focused on your assignment?
Chucky black sneakers. Black cargo pants, slim fit. Distressed black sweater, hands casually in his pockets. Broad shoulders. Lightly tanned skin. Sharp jawline. A tiny mole under a mischievous smile. Your eyes narrowed as you made eye contact with those sparkling dark brown orbs. Long hair slicked back, with only a few wispy strands on his forehead. 
"Calculus I question?" was your response. 
His smile quirked a little higher. The young man didn't have a backpack with him. Didn't even have a piece of paper stuck under his arm. Wasn't even trying to pretend that he needed help.
"I have questions."
He didn't elaborate. You lowered your legs, placing your tablet on your laptop. 
"This is Calculus I office hours. For calculus questions only."
His eyes flickered to your laptop and tablet. Back to you. 
"Is this what the TAs should be doing during office hours?"
Suddenly, you could feel your pulse in your ears. Point taken.
"What do you want?"
He slid into the chair across from the desk, hands still in his pockets. Watching you carefully, still smiling thoughtfully. It should have been unnerving, but there was no malice in that smile. Maybe you were imagining it though, so you kept your guard up. 
"I'm Jeon Jungkook."
Yeah, I guessed, you thought wryly. "And my name is on the syllabus. What do you want?"
He tilted his head at you, studying your face. 
"How do you know Jimin-ssi?"
Isn't Jimin older than you, punk? "Our parents are friends."
He nodded slowly. He looked around the windowless office, at the three papers tacked to the wall – outdated notices – to the still open door, to the desk with your laptop, tablet, and backpack. Then to you, sitting back in the black office chair, eyebrow raised, hands half-in the sleeves of your gray flannel, cropped black sweater underneath. 
"I think you're beautiful, noona."
Your brain winced at the compliment and your hormones looked up from the abyss. Your brain scolded them to go back to their hidey-hole. You clicked your tongue. 
"I'm too old for you."
There was an ever-so-slight tick of his head. His eyes shifted downward and then flicked back up to you, almost shyly, if it wasn't for the small smirk dancing on his lips. 
"We both know such a mindset is outdated."
You felt your breath catch in your throat. The fuck? Your hormones peeked out again. Your brain was too distracted with trying to find a comeback to tell them to fuck off. You figured you better cut this off right now before it went too far. 
"This whole conversation is inappropriate," you said evenly, standing up from the chair and rolling it back. You walked around the desk and stood in front of it, balancing your ass against it. You crossed your arms over your breasts. "You should leave."
He slowly, slowly gazed up at you. Why did he look so satisfied? Your heart did a little three beat skip. Stop it. Keep it together. Jungkook got to his feet, hands still in his pockets. Then he pulled them out and pushed his sleeves up.
Oh?
Tattoos ran up his right arm, the beginnings of a sleeve. Ink black against light tan, flexed muscle. He was not a skinny pretty boy. You were so busy staring at his arms that you barely registered him placing them casually on either side of you, face right next to yours. Now you were staring down at his broad chest, at his black distressed sweater.
"Excuse me?" you snapped testily, lifting your head to look into his smug eyes. 
"I won't touch you," Jungkook murmured quietly. "Unless you ask me to."
This punk ass bitch.
You narrowed your eyes. "What makes you think I would?"
That small teasing smile came back. 
"Well, for one, you haven't actually told me you have absolutely no interest yet."
Your hormones prodded you excitedly. Your brain told them to shut up. Your eyes moved to the open door behind his head, looking into the empty hall, trying to keep a balanced, even tone. It came out a little sharper than you intended.
"Door's wide open."
"Embarrassed to be seen with me?" Jungkook purred, breath on your cheek. 
You tried not to react even though your hormones were fucking losing it. "What about you?" you shot back sharply. 
You heard Jungkook chuckle. "Fuck no I'm not." Your heart jerked heading the crude word come out so daintily and casually from his lips. "I want to be seen with you. All the time. In every position." 
You finally tore your eyes from the open door to give him the side-eye. "Real big words there."
Jungkook smirked. "I'm giving you a chance to tell me no. It's taking everything in me not to bend you over this desk right now and fuck your brains out."
You sucked in a breath. Accidentally. Not on purpose. There's absolutely no way Jungkook would have noticed unless he was literally right next to you. Which he was. Shit. He leaned in closer, still not actually touching you. 
"You like that idea?" he breathed, the lust evident in his voice, not even trying to hide it. 
"I am not some easy bitch at the club, Jungkook. This is the fucking math department," you scolded, eye-level to the base of his neck, wanting very badly to make out with it.
Now it was his turn to inhale sharply. He pulled his head back, and now you were face-to-face with those dark, dark eyes, falling, falling, your body screaming at you to do more. And still you didn’t, torn between reason and instinct.
"I'm so pissed," he growled, breath against your lips. "That the first time I hear you say my name, I wasn't watching your pretty lips form it."
Those few strands brushed against his exposed forehead, framing his furrowed brow and those intense dark brown eyes, making you breathless, telling you that you should, even though the last shreds of reason were telling you, do not, do not, do not give in to Jeon Jungkook. 
"It's the middle of the damn day," you murmured.
"And you make me horny every second of every day," he groaned, so close now that his nose almost touched yours. "With your stem stare, your assertive stride, your well-spoken words, and your beautiful body that demands to be kissed, loved, fucked." He panted, shoulders shaking. "God, I want you under me so bad. You have no idea, noona."
Resolve? Hello, where are you?
You raised an eyebrow. "You think you're enough for me?"
His dark eyes gleamed. 
"I know I am."
Your eyes flickered to the open door, the vacant hall, feeling Jungkook's body heat hovering so close, so close to you, and then you shifted your eyes back to him. Your brain was screaming at you and your hormones bonked your brain silent. The words at the tip of your tongue came tumbling out, nothing to hold them back anymore. 
"Let's see."
And then you kissed him.
Jungkook’s reaction was immediate, his large hands leaving the desk, grabbing your waist, ramming his crotch into you. You gasped against his soft lips and he slid his tongue inside, playing with yours, moaning, kissing you hungrily. His fingers pressed into you through your clothes, strong, tight, unforgiving. Your eyes flew open, surprised at his eagerness. He retreated his tongue and nipped at your lower lip, sucking on it lightly. You shivered, feeling him lift you onto the desk, pushing your legs open with his hips, grinding against you. He kissed down your chin, lifting your head impatiently, moaning against your skin. Every gentle kiss a jolt to your system, contrasting with his rough hands kneading your waist, pulling you close against his firm body, the fucking desk cutting into your thighs, eyelids fluttering.
There was movement at the door.
You froze.
Jungkook’s lips latched onto your neck, sucking sharply. You choked back a wanton moan, seeing a familiar face. A familiar, plump smile with cute, lovely eyes. He waved a small hand at you and reached for the doorknob, locking it from the inside before winking at you and closing the door silently.
Park fucking Jimin.
That bas–
Your thought was sharply cut off by Jungkook nipping at your throat, hissing as he rolled his hips into your thigh, a distinct bulge pressing into you. He yanked down the front of your sweater, sucking on the space right between your collarbones. You whimpered and shuddered, wrapping a leg around his waist and hooking him towards you, hands finally leaving your chest and grabbing his, fingers getting caught in the holes of his sweater.
“Fuck,” he growled. “I’m so fucking hard already because you’re so fucking hot.”
You caught yourself against the desk, elbow slamming onto the wood. You winced. “I haven’t done shit,” you said, surprised to feel your lips slightly swollen.
Jungkook grinned. “You don’t have to. Just you below me is enough.”
You glared at him and he bent over the desk, grabbing the back of your head, pushing your face to his, kissing you again, stealing your breath. It was the perfect mix of force and desperation, leaving you yielding, back arching as he sucked on your tongue, bobbing his head up and down slightly to pull on it. You tried not to make noise – everything was already too noisy anyway – only crying out softly when he let you go. Now you were on your elbows with Jungkook towering over you, licking his lips, the spare strands now stuck to his exposed forehead. His eyes roamed over your body before landing back on your face. You gave him your best questioning look.
He chuckled darkly. “I want to rip all your clothes off, but something tells me you will be upset with me.”
You narrowed your eyes. “Because this is still the middle of the math department, let me remind you, Jungkook.” You huffed. “I don’t live here. Don’t get crazy.”
He grinned, leaning forward. “Say my name again, noona. God, let me watch your delicious lips speak my fucking name.”
You raised your eyebrows. Then you felt his hands on your jeans, undoing the button, making you jump. The zipper going down, down. He yanked at the seam, digging it into your already wet pussy, shoving your panties into your slit.
“A-ah, Jungkook…”
Oh fuck. That sounded kind of pathetic.
He bit his lower lip, and yanked again.
“J-Jungkook, ah…” Your eyelids fluttered, trying to keep your strict demeanor.
“Fuck,” he hissed, firmly gripping the waistband of your jeans and pulling them down your ass, half-dragging your panties down. “You like that, noona? Do you want me to be rough with you?”
You prayed to the higher power that he would just take the damn hint and not make you say it. But Jungkook was dragging your panties back up, the thin black fabric being sucked into your folds and ass as he pulled them far too high. You gasped, trying not to look down, trying not to look at his face. But he grabbed your chin, dragging you back to him, making you open your glazed eyes, making you see his excited expression.
“Look at me, noona.”
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Jungkook held the front of your panties and pulled, hard. You had to choke back a moan, the fabric nearly ripping, rubbing harshly against your clit. You felt the squelch of you getting wetter, hearing it clearly as he yanked at it, stimulating your clit.
“Tell me you don’t like it, noona,” Jungkook whispered hotly, letting go of your chin. “Tell me and I’ll stop.”
You spread your legs involuntarily, trying very hard not to make a fucking sound, but it was already obvious by your fists clenched against the desk, your widespread legs, and your pussy lips practically sucking your panties in, so much so that they nearly disappeared into you.
Jungkook snuck a glance down, gasping softly at your glistening pussy being tortured by your panties. He dropped to his knees and you had only one second to be confused before Jungkook’s tongue licked up your slit. You had to slap a hand over your mouth to avoid crying out, leaving your sounds limited to muffled whimpers as he lapped at your juices, groaning into you. Your entire lower body vibrated as he teased your covered clit, smushing the fabric into your deeper, rougher. Your hips strained, trying to hump his face but only digging your panties into you harder.
You removed your hand from your face, biting on your tongue to regain some semblance of thought so you fucking talk.
“T-take it off…” you gasped. You looked down, seeing his mischievous eyes above your quivering mound, licking his lips slowly, pink tongue tracing the contours of his mouth.
Jungkook raised his hand.
Smack!
This time you had to actually shove to knuckles into your mouth and mute your squeal as pain radiated through you, your pussy stinging. He slapped you again, right on your clit, hard, making your throw your head back and nearly hit the desk, hips raising to meet him. Oh, God. He pressed his finger against your aching clit, rubbing hard, standing up to bend over you, an impossibly strong presence as he pleasured you.
“Say it, noona,” he breathed. “Tell me you like getting your pussy spanked.”
He was rubbing your clit so hard that you felt your hips raise into it, eyes rolling back into your head.
“Say it or I’ll stop,” he warned menacingly, voice so low it ripped through you.
You tore your knuckles out of your mouth. “Don’t stop, please, fuck, Jungkook, I love it when you spank my clit, fuck, please, fuck.” The words came jumbling out in a rushed, half-panicked whisper, cut off by your sharp gasp as your orgasm clawed into you. You felt Jungkook slap his free hand over your mouth, shutting off your wail as your throbbed into his hand, turning into helpless whines as he spanked your clit hard and fast, accentuating your high with waves of sudden, aching pain. You pushed his hand away, pressing your head against the desk, gasping.
“Harder, please, Jungkook, harder.”
He was staring at your fucked-out face, massaging your throbbing pussy with his palm, coating his fingers with your cum. Your voice a thin moan, hips rutting into him.
“Believe me, I want to,” he snarled. “I want to so fucking bad, noona, but we’re already loud enough and you’re making a fucking mess.”
He pulled your panties down, nearly useless at this point and roughly shoved two fingers into you. You gasped, tongue lolling out and he took the chance to put two fingers of his free hand into your mouth, rubbing your wet tongue. You could feel every joint, the calluses of his fingertips as he thrust them into you, slopping, wet sounds accompanying his movements.
“Fuck, look at you, noona, sucking in my fingers, letting me fuck your mouth,” Jungkook murmured, centimeters away from your face. “I haven’t even fucked you with my cock yet and you’re already taking me so well.”
If you could think, you probably would have a snappy response, but Jungkook was stuffing his fingers into your mouth and scissoring the others inside your pussy, driving you insane. You made eye contact with Jungkook, him and his blown-out pupils, his lips trembling as he rammed his fingers into your holes faster, harder, sliding you up the wooden desk. Something inside you snapped and you squeezed your eyes shut, your body shaking as you came again, trying to yell, but unable to because Jungkook shoved his fingers into your throat, making you almost choke if it wasn’t for your own expertise. An embarrassing amount of liquid poured down his hand and wrist, dripping down your thighs. You clamped your legs shut, burying his hand, hips jerking as the aftershocks rippled through you.
You heard Jungkook swallow loudly, jaw tight. He slowly pulled his fingers out of both holes, strings of bodily fluid following him as he did so. Your shaking knees were barely holding your lower body up, jeans constricting your calves and your upper body way too fucking hot.
You laid back on the wood, trying to catch your breath. Was it a fucking cliché? Probably. You felt Jungkook lift himself off the desk and you closed your eyes, chest heaving. Of course. He was just going to leave you like this, tearing your secret out of you and then leaving to boast about how he turned the head Calculus I TA into a helpless, submissive puddle of goo without even actually fucking you. Why did you even bother–
You suddenly felt the desk creak and snapped your eyes open to Jungkook climbing onto it, straddling your chest, unzipping his pants right in front of your face. His slicked hair was becoming unfurled now, more and more dark strands falling down around his ears. His brow furrowed, eyes so wide and focused you weren’t even sure he was actually looking at you.
“Uh–”
He reached in his black boxer briefs impatiently and pulled out his thick, leaking cock. Your eyes widened and his found yours, glittering with arousal. A smear of pre-cum grazed your cheek as he adjusted his position to push the red, bulbous tip against your lips.
“I want to fuck you, noona, but you have to clean me up,” Jungkook breathed, gently asking you but also trying to greedily push his dick into your mouth.
You could say something, but somehow you concluded you were going to be muffled anyway, so you opened your mouth, tongue snaking out and licking the head. Flat, wide, and all over, coating your tongue with his pre-cum, moaning at his taste. Jungkook sunk his teeth into his lower lip, hissing softly as he spread his legs even more, lowering himself slowly into your mouth. You licked around his cock before closing your lips and sucking, growing wet as he thrust his hips into your mouth, slow and steady, eyes closed. You reached up to hold onto his thighs, whimpering as you felt his muscular quads through his pants. He opened his eyes and looked down at you, sliding his cock in a little deeper, hitting the back of your throat.
“Fuck, noona, so fucking sexy, taking my cock like that,” he groaned, reaching down and pushing your hair out of your eyes. His dark hair hung down, framing his face in shadow, making your pussy throb at the image. “Makes me want to fill all your holes up, makes me want to coat you with my cum and see you covered in it, messy and dirty with me.”
You couldn’t say anything so you just whined, nails digging into his covered thighs.
“You want that?” His voice dropped several octaves again. Your skin prickled hotly with every word. “You want me to jack off all over you and leave you a mess covered with my cum?”
You squeezed your thighs together, desperate for friction, now moving your head to suck harder, rubbing the tip fiercely against the back of your throat.
“F-fuck,” he gritted out. He tapped your hand hurriedly, eyelids fluttering. “S-stop, stop.” You whimpered, sadly looking up at him. He chuckled, rubbing your knuckles soothingly.
Look here you little shit, you can’t say all that dirty stuff and not expect me to be horny, your eyes were telling him.
“I know, I know,” he purred. “But I want to fuck your pussy and office hours are almost over…”
You glowered at him, but reluctantly unhinged your jaw, opening your lips. He slid out, gasping, hitting you in the chin and getting the front of your sweater wet.
“You’re a jerk,” you muttered as he climbed off you.
Jungkook chuckled. “Sorry, noona.”
You shook your hair and reached into your backpack, pulling out a condom, only to turn around and see Jungkook pulling one out of his back pocket.
“Oh.” You blinked at him. “You’re prepared.”
Jungkook wiggled his eyebrows. “I knew what I was coming for.”
A muscle in your brow twitched as he tucked his tongue in his cheek, grinning widely at you as he ripped it open and slid it on slowly, rolling it down his thick cock. His voice changed, dipping raspy and low.
“Turn around.”
Part of you wanted to fight, but then you spied the time. You rolled onto your stomach, sighing exaggeratedly as your legs tangled a bit in your jeans. You felt Jungkook’s presence behind you as he bent over your back, hand sliding over your lips and covering your mouth.
“Sigh all you want, noona,” he growled, chuckling as you shivered. “Just don’t scream when I’m fucking you.”
Your eyes widened as you felt the head press against your puffy pussy lips, pushing in forcefully, expanding your tight little hole as his cock entered you, his moan against your ear, your name dripping with lust. Both of you still mostly clothed, but his cock sliding deep, deep inside you, his teeth on your earlobe. Your walls throbbed around him, squeezing him. He gasped, jutting his hips experimentally into you. A stifled moan sneaked past his fingers, your tongue licking them lightly.
“That’s it,” he breathed. “Nice and tight for me, bent over this desk.” He nipped at your ear, whispering softly as he began to fuck you. “What if someone hears you, whimpering for my cock, begging to be fucked?”
Your hands clenched into fists, eyes fluttering shut, feeling him pound you into the wood, deep and slow and far too perfect.
“Noona, what if someone sees you?” His voice like smoke, invading all your thoughts, threatening your dreams, cursing you with the feeling of his lips on your ear and his hips pounding your ass. “Proper, harsh, strict noona turning into a slut for this cock, bent over this desk and humping my hips so you can get this dick deeper inside you?”
You squeezed your eyes shut and wiggled your ass against his cock. He thrust his hips harder into you, jerking you forcefully upwards, your thighs smacking against the desk. Light flickered in front of your closed eyelids and you opened them, seeing your phone screen glaring at you. A message from Jimin. Finish already! You struggled to say his name and Jungkook lifted his hand for a moment to hear your shaking breath.
“Jungkook,” you panted. “Time.”
He covered your mouth again. “You’re right,” he grunted, rolling his hips into you, biting back his moans as you clenched around him. The wet, slapping sounds became louder as he changed his angle, fucking you roughly into the table. It pushed your hips up and you clung onto the edge of the desk, moaning around his hand, tongue pressed flat against his palm as he fucked you with reckless abandon, beating a damn indent of the edge of the desk into your thighs. The dull ache was going to lead to a bruise, but you didn’t care, pushing your hips back to meet him. A choked wail vibrated in your throat as you came again, whole body lurching as he sunk his teeth into your clothed shoulder, groaning as he came inside you, cock twitching and throbbing against your walls. You felt the condom expand, matched with Jungkook’s hiss as he pumped into you. You pulsed your pussy around him and he detached his mouth, whispering your name against your ear.
“You’re dirty, noona,” he rasped, the words so breathless they made you shiver. “I love it.”
You shakily reached up and peeled his hand from your mouth, gasping as he straightened to hold the condom and pull out of you. Fuck. Oh fuck. You scrambled for your phone, seeing Jimin’s text.
You better rush outta there, noona.
You heard the wet, peeling sound of Jungkook pulling the used condom off gingerly. You turned around, hissing at Jungkook before he threw it in the trash.
“Are you crazy?” you muttered, snatching it from him. “Someone will see.”
Jungkook blinked at you. “What else do I do with it?”
You glared at him and tied it up, grabbing some tissues and wrapping it inside. Then you shoved it in your backpack, along with your laptop, your tablet, the spare condom, and reaching over the desk to unplug your laptop’s AC adaptor so you could shove that in your bag too.
“Fuck, your ass is so sexy,” Jungkook marveled behind you.
“Jungkook, we have to get the fuck out of here, so pack your damn dick,” you ordered, yanking your jeans up. Squelch. You sucked in your lower lip in at the cold, uncomfortable sensation of your soaked panties. You zipped your bag and checked around the desk to make sure you took everything. You grabbed your phone and shoved it in your back pocket, turning around to see Jungkook rezipping his pants. Thank God. You might have been tempted if he hadn’t listened to you. Then you remembered the two bits of condom wrapping on the floor and picked those up too, shoving them in your other pocket.
Jungkook smirked at you. “So thorough, noona.”
You scowled at him. Maybe he hadn’t been in this situation before, but you sure as hell have.
“Stay here for twenty seconds and then leave.”
Jungkook pouted at you. You felt your heart skip a beat.
“But I don’t even have your number.”
You rolled your eyes. “Ask Jimin. You two are in cahoots anyway.” You popped your head out, looking around. No one. You popped your head back in. “Also, you owe me new panties the next time I see your smug little face, you punk,” you added, tone irate.
He smirked at you; his long dark hair wispy around his playful eyes.
You gave him one last look before you tore your eyes away, rushing through every back stairway to get the hell out of there before someone could realize you just fucked a freshman during office hours, your slopping, torn-up panties reminding you with every step that you really needed Jeon Jungkook to fuck you again.
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part ii
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wizkiddx · 4 years
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heyheyhey idk if u do req but love your dad tom stuff! PLZ PLZ do tom helping his kids with homework but cant do it and reader has to help and its all fluffy 😩💕
ye im down to do req and this had me going completely ott cos its v cute (and a lot less angsty than what ive written recently aha) so apologies for my ramblings:
Summary: tom has the kids for a day and maths homework throws a spanner in the works - tomhollandxreader
implied smut + v slight reference to porn but basically just fluff I promise xox
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Tom had dealt with a lot of whining today. Nova and Leo were the absolute joys of his life, there was no doubt about it. Of course, he also loved you a hell of a lot too - sometimes to his detriment though, hence the position he was in now. 
You’d had a busy week at work and he had been away for the first half of it - leaving you as an almost single mother to a 5 and a 7 year old. So completely fairly, you’d asked if he wouldn’t mind watching the kids for a the day on Sunday, allowing you to go to a friends baby shower. There was no answer but to agree, Tom loved quality time with the kids and he wanted you to kick back and relax with you friends too. 
However the afternoon had not been nearly as idealistic as it were supposed to be in his head. You had left him only one real job (apart from the unavoidable essentials of keeping the kids alive with food and water, something you’d hope he need not be reminded about now). Really it shouldn’t of been that hard, it was just each kid had two pieces of homework. After convincing and cajoling the kids into sitting at the table which he’d already set up with Nova’s ‘Liverpool FC’ and Leo’s ‘captain marvels’ pencil case, the English was easy. 
In fact 5 year old Leo took great joy out of writing a poem with his Dad, which basically involved trying to rhyme any word with another - especially when he tried to convince Tom that all his completely fictitious words were real and worked together. A personal favourite had been ‘snakes’ and ‘palakes’ which Leo was convinced meant pancakes - arguing so vehemently Tom almost started to doubt himself on basic English. 
Thankfully though his eldest and most sensibly child eventually took him out his misery. If anyone had any control over the Holland boys, Leo and Tom - it was the Holland girls. You and Nova had both boys completely under you spell, often taking advantage of the fact too. It was only when Nova got bored of hearing Tom and Leo mock arguing, interspersed with the little boys giggles that Tom tried his absolute hardest to keep a straight face at, that she swooped in.
“Stop being silly Leo, mummy told you he’s not good at school!” She looked oh so innocent, eyes immediately flicking down to continue the little short story she was happily going on with. In response  Tom scowled, knowing your highly curious and intelligent daughter had asked you (for one reason or another) why he was not so academic. Yet instead of Leo bursting out laughing, instead he just nodded and accepted it too - making Tom scowl even more. Not even Leo thought it was a joke. 
So apart from his children apparently taking pity on his simple mind, it was all going smoothly. Perhaps, due to the thankful fact your children had inherited their brains from their mother - something Tom was forever thankful for, until he was shamed for his substandard intellect in the family. Then again though, he was Spiderman. So take that. 
Until Nova brought out her maths sheet. Then the afternoon quickly descended into chaos. It was fractions, something she hadn’t quite grasped from school yet - a concept that still hurt her head somewhat. Normally though it’d be fine, she’d bring the sheet to you and the two of you used ‘ girl power’ to figure it out… you prior experience as a tutor while in uni helping you know how to break through to her. 
Unfortunately Tom didn’t share this same experience. Nor did Tom share a maths qualification… something that had evaded him completely during his schooling career. Of course, it had never been a particular issue, acting didn’t require the use of maths and algebra and Tom was in a very lucky position of being able to pay someone to manage his finances from a very young age. So no, dividing 2/3 and 3/7 didn’t come the most naturally to him. Or at all to be quite honest. 
“I CANT DO IT AND GRACE IN MY CLASS COULD!” For context, Grace was one of her school friends, who forever liked to compare herself to the young Holland - especially because she was normally ahead. Nova had gone from quiet frustration, staring at the questions with her tongue sticking out slightly, to one of pure rage - yelling at her dad with tears in her eyes. Nova was normally incredibly intuitive, she always found it difficult when she couldn’t do something. Now, with a ‘teacher’ who was more useless than her - the frustrations inevitably bubbled over. 
“Hey, we can work it out, just calm-“
“YOU CANT DO IT EITHER YOUR STUPID “ She was just young and frustrated, Tom tried not to take it personally but … it wasn’t always easy. Chiefly because this was the height of offensive statement Nova knew - this was her version of adult explicit language. 
“Nova you can’t be rude.” He used his stern voice, something Tom very rarely used with his little girl. Though he never wanted to upset her, neither did he want her to think it was ever okay to be so rude to anyone like that- no matter how crappy at maths they were. It hurt him to do so but it was necessary - life lessons about the importance of being kind needed to be learnt. And it worked… if what Tom was aiming for was his beautiful baby girl’s eyes to brim with sparkling tears, her bottom lip quivering slightly. 
Instantly Tom’s eyebrows drooped, trying to fight his natural reaction to scoop her onto his knee and reassure her everything was okay. But as you had lectured him many a time before, he had to put his foot down once in a while. So instead, the father and daughter were locked in a silence and intense eye contact, until Nova hesitantly began to speak. 
“I’m sorry Daddy.” During which, Nova shoved her chair back, making it screech against the tiled floors uglily before running off up the stairs. Tom knew she was crying a lot. Knew this was going to take a bit of fixing. 
With a sigh of his daughters name, Tom popped his head into the living to check on Leo who had already finished all his stuff. Seeing him completely zombified in front of ‘paw patrol’ on TV, Tom trudged up the stairs. He knew where she was, when Nova was upset she always hid in the corner of her wardrobe and cried in the darkness. So after steadying himself with a little internal monologue of how to approach the situation Tom walked in and sat down beside the wardrobe - knocking on the door slightly. 
“Nova… can we talk please?” All he heard was sniffing echoing from the wooden chamber until she tried to shout through the door.
“Go-go… go away daddy.” It broke his heart, the way her voice wavered, making Tom pout - gently letting his head fall against the wardrobe doors. 
“I don’t want you to be upset beautiful…. And you did apologise which I appreciate. You know why Daddy got angry right?” Her sniffles heightened before she muttered a quiet ‘yes’. “And you are sorry? Because that might’ve made me really sad too.”
“I’m s-s-sorry, I didn’t mean it.”
“Then that’s good and we don’t need to cry. You want a cuddle little one?” Before Tom could even properly get up the door was being pushed open by her little hands, revealing a tear stained face and big glassy eyes looking up at her Dad. Swiftly Tom scooped her up and out of the cupboard, whispering to her while she buried her face in his chest. 
“Oh come here my little bean.”
//////////////////////
When you came home late that evening, only mildly exhausted from spending the whole day gossiping with your girls, it was weirdly quiet. All the lights were out in the front room, which made you close the door gently, thinking Tom had managed to exhaust the kids - and himself in the process. With a relieved sigh at the peace you pattered into the kitchen to get yourself a drink (it had been a little concern that Tom would’ve worked the kids into a hyperactive and delerious state that kept them up long past bedtime - which ultimately you’d have to deal with). The house was remarkably silent and though it was clear from the littered toys everywhere that it had indeed been Tom alone in charge, everything seemed pretty okay. 
It was only as you were about to head upstairs to join your hubby in bed that you realised the study light was still on, streaming through the small crack in the doorframe. Assuming Tom had just neglected to turn it off, in otherwords Tom being Tom, you nudged it open with your hand. Surprisingly though, there was your husband, hunched over the desk, looking almost angrily focused - between the computer screen and a piece of paper below him. Normally you would’ve just assumed it was another script sent over or an edit Harry had sent of another screenplay they were writing together. 
But no, the blatant red flag was the screen that you could see. A screen on YouTube, of a man pointing at a whiteboard of fractions. 
So with a soft wrist you wrapped your knuckled on the side of the door, even if you had technically already entered the room. The reaction had you stifling a laugh, it was as if you’d caught him watching something *less PG* the way he jumped out his seat, closing the browser immediately. 
“Love!! I -er … didn’t know you’d got back?”
“I just did.” You smiled gently, while walking into stand behind his chair, wrapping your arms round his neck and pressing a kiss to his jaw. “Soooo…. what’ca doingggg” The glee in your voice was evident, making Tom groan and shut his eyes. 
“I hate you, you know that right?” 
“No you don’t… but you were watching a primary school video on fractions, if I’m not so mistaken?” He sighed deeply, making a point of turning the paper with his scribbles over to obscure it. 
“Nova’s homework.. she couldn’t do it and neither could I, so then she basically screamed at me for being thick and udseless and then had a breakdown.” 
Now you felt guilty. This was a bit of a sore spot with Tom, he always for some reason felt inferior because of his academic ability. Which was stupid- mainly because he was the most clever and talented man you’d ever met. Just…. Just not at fraction. 
“Oh T… you could’ve just left it for me to do with her, I don’t mind.”
“That’s not the point Y/n.” He snapped a little, shrugging your arms off him and spinning in the chair so he could face you. “She’s my daughter and I should be able to help her! It’s not like it’s that hard, it’s just I’m unbelievable thick.”
“Tom stop. Look - you can do this I assure you, it’s just been a long old time ‘kay? Your rusty and that’s only natural.”
“I really don’t think I could ev-“
“Can I teach you? It’s just the method and then I promise you’ll get it.”
It took a bit of persuasion but eventually Tom agreed, letting you pull the corner chair forward to beside his desk so you could demonstrate it to him. To be fair, he really could do it- just a bit of familiarising on the ‘stick-change-flip’ method. The way the lightbulb moment literally caused his face to light up; scurrying to do the question for himself, tongue sticking out in the process; then presenting it to you proudly - well it had you melting in your seat. 
“See! That took all of 5 minutes and you got it.” You elbowed  his side by leaning forward in the chair, which instead of letting go, Tom reached and caught, before pulling you up and round. You landed with you bum perched on the edge of the mahogany desk, Tom now stood up- his legs in-between your parted thighs - your feet hooking round the back of knees. 
“It’s all down to my incredibly talented teacher.”
“No…. No I really don’t think it is” You mused with a soft voice, fingers instinctively going to the nape of his neck - twirling the little curls round your fingertips. 
“Well even so… I think I could teach you a thing or two too.” Never one to mull on anything, Tom’s tone had immediately switched to something a lot more… mischievous. 
“Not even going to ask about my day? Wheres the chat mr smooth?” He had to repress the grin at your smirk because as much as you infuriated the hell out of him - you also had this weird ability of making him feel so entranced and helpless. He relented with a sarcastic chime.
“Fine, how was your day love.”
“Good…. but I have a feeling you’re about to make it a whole lot better.”
That was all the signals he needed to lean forward, in doing so forcing you back until your back landed completely on the cool wood. His lips feathered yours, both hands pinned either side of your head.
“Oh darling… you have no idea.”
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glowinggator · 4 years
Text
Boundaries
Request: Hi!! I was wondering if i could get some headcanons for the boys with a s/o who like,,, is trying to stay no contact with an abusive/toxic parent,,, and thinking about going back to them? Just generally doubting whatever they went through/that they have a right to feel the way they do? Ive been struggling a lot and rly need some comfort :( but if its not something you’re comfy with or anything, thats cool too!!!
[A/N: To the person who requested this... I love you! You're doing great, and I hope you know that you are Loved. It's incredible that you were able to cut them out of your life: that takes a lot of courage and strength! I've been dealing with something similar on my end, so I certainly know how you feel. Much love, anon. You don't need them: don't let them drag you back in. You’re perfect without them: there’s no need to feel guilty over what THEY did. Muah!] 
Pairing: Raphael/Reader (Established), Leonardo/Reader (Established), Donatello/Reader (Established), Michelangelo/Reader (Established) (ALL SEPARATE - NONPOLY) 
Content Warnings: Mentions of abusive parents, although nothing is graphically described. Comfort headcanons, for the most part.
Word Count: 1546
Raphael
He notices that you aren’t feeling well super quickly. He’s a great listener, and he’ll let you vent for as long as you need; however, he’s not going to let you overthink the situation too much. If you’re really genuinely doubting how abusive they were to begin with, he’ll probably cut you off in the kindest way possible. It’s good to talk about your feelings, but you can’t let yourself drown in them, you know? 
You did so, so good setting your boundaries last time! And he’s really proud of you for that. But unfortunately, toxic people will always try and weasel their way back in. You have to stay strong. He’ll be there for you every step of the way, too. They hurt you deeply, and you don’t need to apologize for their actions.
If they’re starting to harass you, he’ll offer to respond in your place if you don’t feel like you’re able to at the moment. There’s no shame in blocking their number or email, either. 
He’ll offer to take you out somewhere to get your mind off of the situation for a little while. When he’s feeling stressed he likes to work out, but that might not be for everyone. But if you wanna kick the shit out of a punching bag… I’m just saying, it’s very stress relieving. He’s also down to get some pizza too. Anything to take your mind off of it! 
Oxymoronic. If you had to describe how you feel right now, inside your body, that would be the perfect word to describe the sensation. You feel weightless, almost outside of your body; yet, that sinking pit in your stomach tethers you to the earth. You feel like you’re going to vomit, replaying the words from your parent’s most recent voicemail in your head. It’s been… a while, hasn’t it? You glance nervously as your phone, checking the time before switching it on. You stare at your lock screen for a moment, trying to find the courage to unlock it, before setting it down with a gentle thud against the hardwood table. You don’t know what to do anymore. 
“Hey,” Raph whispers. You jump, startled by the sudden noise before forcing a smile. 
“Are you okay?” he asks. You nod. 
“Are you sure? It looks like something’s really bothering you.” 
“Yeah,” you mutter, “I’m okay. Just life, you know?” 
“Yeah, I get that,” he sits down next to you slowly, smiling gently, “But life is hard sometimes. Do you wanna talk about it?” 
You smile gently, if not a little sadly, and shake your head a little. He always knows what to say. “Well, it’s just…” you pause, “I don’t know. It’s my parents again. They’re trying to get back in contact with me again, and I just… it’s hard. Like, what if they changed, you know? I thought I set my boundary really well, so if they’re trying to talk to me, it kind of makes me think that they changed. Or maybe I overreacted, or-”
“Honey, I love you, but I’m gonna have to stop you right there,” he interjects, “You were super clear that you didn’t want contact anymore the first time, so the fact that they’re still trying to weasel their way back in? It shows that they haven’t changed… at all. They’re abusive now, and they were back then too. If they weren’t, you wouldn’t have cut them off in the first place, right?” 
You hum and lean into his side. He pulls you towards him gently, cocooning you in his strong arms. You close your eyes and sigh. “Yeah,” you whisper, “that makes sense. I just… I don’t know why they keep doing this, I hate it. I don’t wanna have to deal with this anymore. It’s like every few months they pull this. I don’t know why they just can’t let go.” You wrap your arms as far as you can around his middle, leaning into his embrace as deeply as you can. 
“I know, hun. But you know what?” 
“Hm?”
“The fact that you don’t understand why they do what they do… it just shows that you’ll never be like them. You’re strong, you’re sweet, and you’re kind. You don’t want to hurt others, and you’ll go to any lengths to help people,” He runs his hand along your back soothingly before trailing up your arm and squeezing it gently,  “I wish that they weren’t doing this to you, because you deserve so, so much better than that. But I love you, okay? You’re gonna get through this.” 
Leonardo 
He’s super observant, and he picks up on your distress quickly. He’s a good listener, and he’ll let you talk for as long as you need. He’s more of the ‘get it all’ out type when it comes to venting. He’ll hold you close and let you cry, if that’s what you need. 
Setting boundaries is hard, and he’s really happy that you managed to cut them off in the first place! Assessing your own needs and coming to terms with the abuse that they put you through is really important, and he’s really impressed that you were able to do that. But people never talk about what comes after: keeping those people out of your life. If you’re ever doubting your decision, he’ll be right by your side to back you up. Toxic people will try their best to manipulate you, and he’s not gonna stand by idly and let them guilt you into a relationship with them. They’re the only ones who can control their actions. You have a right to feel the way you do! 
He’ll offer to respond to them via email or phone call, if you feel like you need to respond to them. He’ll also offer to beta read your emails if you need to restate your boundaries to them. Sometimes just reading them outloud helps you feel a little bit better, a little bit more secure in your choice. 
He definitely ups the self-care and fun outings in your daily life. Dealing with abusive parents is so stressful, and honestly? The LEAST you could do for yourself is kick back with some ice cream. 
Donatello 
He notices that you’re a little off, but he can’t quite figure out why. Headache? Didn’t sleep well? He’s the most likely to wait for you to bring it up. He’ll ask if you’re feeling okay, but for the most part, the ball is in your court. If your distress persists for more than a day or two, though, he’s not above cornering you and asking what’s up. 
He’s really ticked that they’re trying to get back into your life after you clearly cut them out. Like, seriously? You were so clear about it the first time, and this just goes to show that they haven’t changed at all. You’re in the right here: They don’t deserve you. He’ll 100% back you up regarding your experiences, and he’s not gonna let you feel guilty over what THEY put you through. He’s a great person to vent to, honestly. All feelings of doubt, that maybe things weren’t as bad as you thought, practically disappear when you talk to him. He’s so supportive of you and your recovery. 
Look it might not be the smartest choice, but if you wanna let him email them or something, he totally will. You think he’d make some incredible, eloquent, heartfelt speech that tricks them out of ever trying to talk to you again but… he doesn’t do that. He’s not above snapping at them. But he just loves you a lot, and he really fucking hates all of the shit that your parent put you through. You’re such a good person, and you’ve done such an incredible job recovering! He just wants you to be happy. 
It’s self care time. He takes more time out of the day to do little things for you. He knows that this isn’t an issue that can be solved in a day, so he just wants to do all that he can to make every day a little more bearable. If he can get you to smile, he’s succeeded. 
Michelangelo 
He’s observant, although not as much as Leo. Luckily, he’s not above just straight-up asking what’s bothering you. Communication is key, after all. He’s an awesome listener, and he’ll throw in his own comments here and there. Like yeah, no, babe they were really shitty to you, you totally have the right to feel the way that you do! 
He’s really proud of you for setting your boundaries the first time! Cutting toxic people out of your life is really, really difficult. But unfortunately, manipulators will always try and come back into your life. That’s what they do, and it hurts so much, but that’s just… what they do. You don’t have to take that laying down though! Every time they try and push you to let them back in… you have to push them away twice as hard. Like, you’re so strong! And you deserve the absolute best things that this world has to offer. 
Probably the only one who won’t offer to write to them for you. This is something that you have to do yourself, if you really want to be content with the situation. Although if they start harassing you, he’ll 100% call them/answer the phone to tell them to stop fucking calling. 
Ever try making Uum Ali? He hasn’t! Let’s try it! He’s gonna go all out with fun activities and sweet self care ideas. Anything to see that smile again.
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barnesandco · 3 years
Text
Little Hands (IV)
Series Masterlist
Communication is key.
This is an entry for @star-spangled-bingo 2021. Word count: 2248. Square filled: “Sung to Sleep”
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Warnings: More Hydra Evilness, More Sad Child, Parental Anxieties. Brief mentions of war, sickness, death, grief. 
A/N: I know 2.2k words isn’t objectively a lot but boy did this feel like it. I hope every word is worth it and that you enjoy! Lmk what you think!!! Also I won’t even lie, the idea of Steve’s kids is 100% from one of my favorite comfort fics, family means no one gets left behind or forgotten, by the genius, the wonderful cosmicocean. IT’S SO SOFT. Pls read it.
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You’re stunned when Bucky tells you what’s going on. The idea that his daughter (?) was made in a lab like some kind of experiment, and that the man who led said experiment now wants her back like she is his property, his weapon, is too horrid to consider for very long. Weaponizing an innocent child. Hydra.
Bucky gave you the broad strokes of the investigation – currently running on little more than educated guesses based on the meagre intel they have – and has let you know that he has had to recuse himself from the case, due to his… personal connection. That leaves him somewhere he finds awkward, to say the least.
It's evident in the way the corners of his lips turn down, how he is constantly rubbing the pads of his fingers against the coarse scratch of denim, while he watches Ana watch Zoya, Steve’s 17-year-old daughter, working on a tablet. Zoya tucks a strand of hair behind her hijab, then continues to draw up a storyboard, narrating the events to the younger girl. Steve had apparently forgotten the lunch his kids had made him at home, so Zoya had brought it in, and decided to stay the day.
Ana’s quiet, attentive for the most part, listening with her full capabilities, but her eyes flit away from the screen every now and then to look at you and Bucky, as if to reassure herself that you’re still there.
Besides that, there aren’t all that many distractions present for an already precocious child. Most of the team has dispersed for the investigation, with the exception of Peter, who is sat at a table in the corner making intentionally fruitless efforts at teaching Morgan chess, while she giggles and tries to stack the pieces like Jenga blocks instead.
However, Bucky’s restlessness is infectious, and you think he needs to get it under check before it grows any further. That’s why you stand, saying, “Could we go for a little walk, Bucky?”
He nods, man of few words that he is, and leads the way. You’re sure he knows that you formulated it like a request for his benefit, but he doesn’t mention it. It’s just as well – that he knows you like that, and knows when to accept the proverbial hand being offered.
Bucky takes you to a corner of the roof that you’d mistake for a community garden if you didn’t know any better. The Avengers seem to have green thumbs, or at least, a significant portion of them do. They’re good with plants, and possessive about them, too. Autumn ferns grow outside the circle they seem to have been planted in – with a sign shouting Wanda! – to invade the territory of a vegetable garden labelled Bruce (accompanied by a Hulkish, green thumbs up presumably not drawn by the man himself).  
Meticulously maintained daylilies and columbines, in vivid reds and vibrant purples, litter the edges of the path that has been carved through this little paradise, and the birdhouses between them stake the claim of the owner more effectively than a neon sign screaming Sam Wilson. Bucky’s told you about his abilities, how they veer into the decidedly supernatural but Sam insists are only the residue of a childhood with homing pigeons.
Nothing here looks like Bucky’s, though. He seems to be taking it in, perhaps thinking about his own little paradise back in the city, and how he’s chosen to keep it distant from that of his teammates. That worries you. He worries you.
And this, the situation with Anastasia, becoming a father, it’s terrifying. Hell, if it scares you this much, how is he feeling? You ask him as much.
“Bucky, are you okay?”
He laughs, softly, disbelievingly, no malice in his scoff, only fear. Only the sound of a voice saturated with consternation and total, complete anxiety. “Would you be?” He asks back.
“That’s why I’m asking.”
Bucky evades the questions, turning first one way on the path, and then the other, approaching the edge clear of shrubbery and blooms alike, resting his palms on the top of the wall.
“I can’t be a father.”
The solemnity in his tone allows no room for negotiations, but then, neither do the facts. “You are,” you reply, somewhat hesitantly, because the technicalities of how Ana came to be are still a little blurry to you. She’s far from a normal child, and not quite a clone, either. She is of Bucky, though. His, in any way that counts.
“That little girl was created in a Hydra lab as a super soldier to serve the cause,” he says, shaking his head vigorously as the cause repulses him even more than it does you. “And who knows what else she was put through before SHIELD fell and Orlov got her out, and it’s my fault.”
“You didn’t—”
“I didn’t ask for it to happen but it wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t happened. They used me to make a super soldier from scratch, and now I’m supposed to raise her? It’s not that simple. I’m not Steve. I can’t…”
Being honest, you feel you’re pretty far out of your depth here. But you’ve promised him your help, and you’ll do your best.
“You don’t have to. There are other options.” You’re sure you’re overstepping. Perhaps this gentle companionship has not yet reached the point where you can give advice on parenting. But if you don’t, who will? Steve, whose answers don’t enter the gray territory Bucky’s mind is residing in right now, who parents like he was born for it?
Steve chose fatherhood. Bucky has been nailed to it like it’s a new cross to bear, heavier than all the previous ones put together.
His gaze roams the grounds that stretch as far as you can see. You’re both far away from home right now, far outside your comfort zones.
“I’m sorry for dragging you into my mess, sweetheart. It’s not right. You have things to do, and I shouldn’t have—”
“Bucky, I’ve been staring at the same four sentences of dialogue for the past month. I literally could not have been happier to get out of the house. Even if I do wish it was under better circumstances,” you say fervently. You’re here because he needs you. Because Ana needs you. It’s nice to be needed.
“That’s one way to put it,” he smiles, and you’re glad to see it.
“Not to mention, it’s not your fault. It’s not anyone’s fault except whoever your team is looking for,” you insist. “And Ana’s a sweet girl. A little quiet, but Baba says I was, too.”
This, Bucky thinks about. You wonder if he was a quiet child, too. “What’s he like?”
“Hmm?” The reverie snaps like a rubber band.
“Your father?” Bucky asks, shyly, his eyes meeting yours, letting you know exactly why he’s asking.
You look up at the clouds, think back to Boston, to time shared between the library and the park. A childhood with books, lunch breaks under a desk in an office at MIT, stealing his glasses and running away with them, rubbing at his stubbly beard like he was a housecat. Inside jokes with your father and rolled eyes with your mother. Laughter and tears, laughter with tears.
After a long while, trying and failing to summarize your father, you say, “A jokester. The most sarcastic person I know. But still kind of neurotic, to be honest. The kind of parent that makes you show up at the airport a full four hours before your flight.” It’s grossly insufficient. For a writer, you’re not very good with words. You suppose it’s not the words that are the problem; it’s the lifetime they have to encompass. “What about yours?”
Bucky sighs. “Soldier. He’s one thing I don’t feel bad for not remembering because it wasn’t Hydra that wiped those memories. He just died when I was really small. Survived the Great War only to be killed by TB a few years later at home.”
“I’m sorry.” You avert your eyes. Grief feels private, even decades later, even in the smallest doses.
He shakes his head, smiles fondly, up at the sky, too, like you did. Only, he’s smiling at it, like he’s thinking of someone beyond the clouds. “Don’t be. Was a long time ago.”
“That doesn’t mean it isn’t allowed to hurt anymore.”
“You sound like my therapist.”
“I sound like my therapist.”
At this, the two of you look at each other and burst into laughter. It feels forbidden, as though the severity of the situation condemns joy. That isn’t fair, you think. The situation is that of a child, and nobody needs laughter more than kids do. Food for the soul.
When the echo of your exhilarations falls, Bucky grows serious once more. “They have them for kids, now, too, right?” He asks, referring to therapists. “Do you think Anastasia should see one? She’s not exactly… normal, you know?”
“Maybe.” It’s a difficult question, but a good indicator of how Bucky is growing to feel about Ana. “You’d make a good dad, if you wanted to be one, Bucky,” you say, and mean it. It’s plain as day that he cares about her.
“I can’t even remember my own.”
“Parental instincts are intuitive, not genetic,” you tell him.
“You been reading handbooks?” He teases.
“You’d be surprised by how much you learn from the rabbit holes you fall down while researching books,” you deadpan.
“Can any of that research get the nightmares out of my head? I think it might scare a kid.”
The self-deprecation hurts, but your response is honest, heartfelt. “She likes you already.”
“She won’t if she thinks I’ve run away,” he answers, straightening up. He might be trying to evade the conversation, but you’ll let him, for now. He’s gotten some fresh air, had some time to clear his thoughts, or sort them, at least. And so you return, to the little girl who has a tighter grip on both of you than you even realize.
------
Ana grows unsettled as night darkens the sky. It could be the ruckus she isn’t quite used to. It could be the toy fire truck Tony has been altering with his utensils to increase its noise output, much to Morgan’s amusement. It could be the actual parrot perched on Sam’s shoulder.
Whatever the cause, she hasn’t succumbed to it enough to make a seat out of the fridge again. She’s sitting in her seat, between Bucky and yourself, eating the hummus Bruce and Wanda have made. Nat discusses sniper scopes with Clint, Peter tries to get away with eating the side of vegetables on Jordan’s plate without Steve noticing, and Bucky eats silently, eyes almost constantly on Anastasia, who takes it all in while her knee bounces up and down with an ever-increasing speed, much like her father’s.
You excuse yourselves soon after dessert, after Morgan has fallen asleep against Jordan’s arm on the couch, and Steve and Tony’s friendly debate is starting to develop the edge it tends to when they’ve been bantering for too long.
Bucky sets up on the sectional in his room, and leaves the ridiculously large double bed to you and Anastasia. It’s been a strange, strange day, and one can only hope that tomorrow brings some ease, a balm for the prickly, fiery ache that has settled over the man you care so much about.
------
When you wake, it’s because of singing. For half a moment, you think you’re in a dream, but as your eyes adjust to the blanket of dark, you see the shadow on the sofa nearby. Only, it’s bigger than just Bucky. Anastasia is sitting on his lap, her head cushioned against his chest. Scrambling for your glasses, and turning on the lamp on the bedside table, you notice that there are trails of drying tears on her little cheeks, and she’s still shaking with the aftershocks of whatever scare she must’ve had during the night.
Not for the first time, you curse your deep sleep that meant you didn’t wake with Ana, but watch in wonder as Bucky sings.
Hush, little baby, don't say a word Papa's going to buy you a mockingbird
And if that mockingbird won't sing Papa's going to buy you a diamond ring
Ana’s eyes begin to close, but she fights the sleep. Bucky doesn’t let her. He lies down, easing her down beside himself, singing all the while.
And if that diamond ring turns brass Papa's going to buy you a looking glass
And if that looking glass gets broke Papa's going to buy you a billy goat
His voice fills the room, low though it may be, and he curls himself around Ana.
And if that billy goat won't pull Papa's going to buy you a cart and bull
And if that cart and bull turn over Papa's going to buy you a dog named Rover
She succumbs to the lull of his tone, his song, his promises, sighs a little sigh, lets the last, little hiccup leave her body.
And if that dog named Rover won't bark Papa's going to buy you a horse and cart
And if that horse and cart fall down You'll still be the sweetest little baby in town
Bucky lifts his hand from where it was stroking the hair at her temple, and lays his arm over his daughter. They’re safe, for now. Together.
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fidothefinch · 4 years
Text
maybe it's enough (to know that we were here together)
For Dick & Damian Week 2021, day 2: "He's my son!"
I wrote this over the last two hours. Fair warning, it is not proofread. Title from Kina Grannis's "For Now," for fake-deep reasons.
(More warnings: this story strongly features hospitals and difficulty breathing (and poison). Please take care of yourselves and skip it if it will hurt you, especially because of the last year we've all shared <3)
Nightwing woke up with a gasp like it was the first breath he had taken in a long time. He floundered for a moment, instinctively worried he had just surfaced from Gotham’s harbor (it wouldn’t be the first time), but it only took one hard smack of his wrist to recognize the very solid ground beneath himself.
Panting, he leveraged himself to his side to empty his stomach onto the concrete.
Something was wrong. He tried to check his surroundings, but he was only able to make out grey blobs that may have been buildings and wildly swinging lights.
No, they weren’t swinging. That was just his vision.
He squeezed his eyes shut, wishing he could just will vertigo away. It wasn’t a feeling he was used to; growing up swinging from a trapeze conditioned him to enjoy the swoop in his stomach. But right now, he was either on a boat or drugged.
Sirens doppler-ed towards and away from him, somewhere down below. Definitely drugged, then.
He lifted one hand to his pounding head and was happy to find his domino was still in place. So were his gloves. But when he checked, he was missing an Escrima stick and a handful of wingdings. He grappled with his memory, trying to pull up some idea of what could have happened. A fight, obviously. But was he in Gotham? Blüdhaven? Somewhere overseas?
He flipped to his back and stared at the sky, still breathing like he had just run a marathon. Drawing in air was like drinking through a silly straw. Above him, the sky was a mottled green-black, the wind rolling the clouds inland. The motion threatened to make him sick again. He considered the merits of rolling to his side, just in case, when his eyes caught the flicker of a familiar shape against the clouds.
The Batsignal.
So, he was in Gotham. Now that he thought about it, that felt right. He could recall riding in earlier on his bike, the wind whipping through his hair, weaving through wild traffic. But traffic had been going the wrong way? Everybody had been leaving the island. . .
He sat up suddenly. “Robin!”
Sitting up was a bad idea. He pushed through his temporary blindness to wobble to his feet, anyway. “Robin!” he called again.
Damian didn’t answer. He was nowhere to be found.
More sirens rang down below him, passing in the same direction the last set had. Dick scrambled to the edge of the roof to watch the ambulance pass. What he found took his breath away. Cars lined both sides of the road, all headed toward the bridge that led off the island. All empty, abandoned. There didn’t seem to be a soul in sight, except the emergency response vehicles speeding down the clear sidewalks.
Everything snapped into focus, and Dick’s memory returned. Somebody had called the Gotham PD with a thirty-minute warning before releasing an aerosolized drug into the sewer system. Nightwing had sped into town as quickly as he could, and Batman teamed him up with Robin to cover the south quarter, and they had gotten separated—where was Damian?
Dick leapt off the building, shooting his grapnel as he fell to swing into a perfect arc to the ground. His bike wasn’t within eyesight, so it was too far. He took off, running after the ambulance.
Toward the hospital.
-
“Sir, you can’t be here.”
Dick had never seen the hospital so busy. Patients were lined up along the walls and hallways, crammed into the rooms like sardines. The staff actually ran between beds, looking haggard and exhausted already. Dick stood out like a sore thumb in his Nightwing gear, but nobody had the time or energy to move him.
Except the head nurse, behind the desk. “You have to leave,” she said. “We don’t have room.”
“Is Robin here?” Dick asked. He had scanned the pinched faces of the patients he passed on the way back into the ER, but nobody was familiar. He was almost thankful; the victims of the poison were sweating profusely and gagged on their own breath.
“I can’t tell you that,” the nurse said.
“I need to know that he’s okay,” he pleaded, leaning into his palms. They had been planted on the desk for stability, but now they were the only thing grounding him in his panic. “Please.”
All of Gotham was supposed to be evacuated, but there were still so many people too slow, too many people without a way off the island. When the threatened poison hit the city, there were too many people left behind. Nightwing had rushed over from Blüdhaven as fast as he could, but by the time he had joined the rest of the Bats it was too late. Half of Gotham was sick. Dying.
And somewhere in the panic, as noxious steam shot from the sewers and spilled from the vents, he had lost Robin.
The nurse studied his face, her lips pursed. “Robin was admitted two hours ago.”
Dick’s knees nearly buckled with relief (it had nothing to do with his legs feeling like jelly). “Where is he?”
“I can’t tell you that.”
“Why not?” Maybe the words were clipped, but he didn’t have time for this.
“No visitors. Hospital rules.”
“He’s just a kid!”
“Then maybe you should have helped him evacuate,” she said, levelling a glare at him that could melt glass. “Instead of encouraging him to run straight into the line of danger.”
Now Dick growled. “You don’t understand what you’re talking about.”
“I think he’s better off here than with you.”
“He’s my son!” Dick slammed his fist on the counter between them, making the nurse jump. He would have time to feel guilty about it later. “If you don’t tell me where he is, I’ll find him myself.”
She opened and closed her mouth a few times, not getting any words out.
“Nightwing!” somebody else called. Dick spun around (too quickly), and another nurse was gesturing quickly behind herself. “I’ll take you to him.”
“Moira—” the head nurse started. But she wasn’t fast enough to catch Dick as he weaved through the maze of gurneys.
The nurse had dark circles under her eyes, and her bun was frayed. “Pediatric wing,” she huffed, already jogging down a wide white hallway. Dick followed, heart racing. “His oxygen was too low. He must have gotten a face-full of the stuff.”
“What does that mean?” Dick asked.
Her face screwed up. “He’s on a ventilator.”
Dick’s heart squeezed in panic at the words. He began to mentally prepare himself for what he would find.
The nurse he was following stopped abruptly, almost making him run into her. She flipped a hand at a set of double doors. “Stairs,” she explained. “You’ll have to go up to the third floor. Room 329.”
Dick didn’t question why she wasn’t coming; she had work to do. He nodded as he pushed through one of the doors. “Thanks.”
By the time he reached the third floor, he could tell that he had been dosed. Maybe not as badly as the other patients there, but three flights of stairs should have been child’s play for him. He arrived to patient hallway sweating and panting too hard, jelly legs making their displeasure felt.
There were doctors and nurses in this wing, too, but they were also scrambling too quickly to give him more than a passing glance. The crammed hallways on this floor were even more disconcerting, because the flushed, moaning faces were those of children.
None of them were the one he was looking for.
He forced himself to slow down, not able to bear the idea of passing Damian’s room and missing him accidentally. When he found room 329, he steeled himself before barreling through the door.
There were two beds crammed inside the small space, made possible only because the beds were child-sized. The smiling clouds painted on the ceiling were a harsh contrast to the dark, noisy machines wound around the beds.
Damian was in one of them.
Dick rushed to his side, sparing barely a glace toward the other child. Damian looked tiny, dwarfed by the size of the gurney and the mouth of the ventilator. His domino was in place, but somebody had flipped the screen over the eyes back, so Dick could see that Damian was asleep. The IV in his elbow connected to several bags, and Dick had no doubt at least one of them was a sedative. They would have to, to put him on the ventilator.
Dick snaked his gloved fingers into Damian’s bare ones and squeezed lightly. Even through the gloves, he could feel the smallest pulse.
He legs threatened to give out beneath him again.
And, well. Then they did.
A passing doctor saw him just as he had sprawled on the floor like a starfish. “Nightwing? What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”
Dick shook his head, gesturing to his chest about the tightness still persisting htere. “Just dizzy.”
The doctor clucked his tongue, reaching out to the chair wedged into the corner. “Think you can get in this chair?”
Dick nodded (a mistake), and with the doctor’s help he was able to slide into the seat. The doctor flit out of the room and returned less than a minute later with a nasal cannula and oxygen tank.
Dick waved it away. “I’m fine.”
The doctor rolled her eyes. “Uh-huh, and I am, too.”
Dick didn’t fight it when she applied it. The steady stream of dry oxygen through his nose was a relief, and his head began to clear again almost immediately. “Thanks.”
“Don’t mention it,” the doctor waved.
Dick stopped her on her way out the door again. “Wait.”
She paused, obviously a little irritated at being interrupted.
Dick blushed in apology. “When will he be taken off the ventilator?” he asked, gesturing toward Damian, in the bed.
The doctor only shrugged. “When he’s ready.” And she left, hustling toward her next patient.
Dick pulled his glove off and ran his free hand through Damian’s hair, brushing back the strays. It was still damp with sweat.
However long Damian was asleep, Dick would be there when he woke up.
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nose-bandaid · 3 years
Text
love, at its core
hi!! i hope you're havin a good day rn 😊😊 i just saw requests are open??? i was gonna ask if i could request something with yuto?? like his s/o is chillin with him at home and then they just get hit with the realization "omg my boyfriend is just sitting there and i can kiss him any time i want??? all i have to do is ask??? is it really that simple???? what a concept..." i know its very specific but its just smth ive been thinkin about these days?? like people datin can just kiss each other any time???? its just so simple yet so special at the same time??
Yuto x (gender neutral) Reader fluff | 2k words
synopsis: waking up one day, you were hit with a curious thought that made you realize how lucky you were to have a boyfriend
a/n: here you go anon !! i hope that this is what you wanted and that i didn't get carried away with the idea 😅 enjoy<3
ngl this ended up a little similar to -27°C but i love domestic relationships so it's cool
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There was something peculiar about living with your boyfriend.
Nothing had changed since yesterday, or last month, or even the year before. You've been living together for a while now and today shouldn't have been any different. It shouldn't.
However, an intriguing thought in your mind constantly nudged you to love him even more today.
When you woke up, the first thing you did was roll over onto your side to study Yuto's face. Even asleep, he was incredibly pretty and you reached a hand to brush the strands of hair that had fallen over his face. He's been growing it for quite a while now, and oftentimes he would tie it all back in a small ponytail that you thought was endearing. But you thought he looked especially fluffy when he let his hair down. The sight of it that morning, however, tickled your own face and you tucked it behind his ear with a small smile.
"Better?" You whispered, not really expecting a reply because you believed he was still asleep. But he did, in fact, whisper a quiet "better" and you locked eyes with him in surprise.
"G'morning." He croaked out, trying to rub the sleep out of his face.
"Good morning Yuto," You replied, laughing when he leaned into your touch and tried to snuggle back to bed. "It's time to wake up, sleepyhead."
He wrapped an arm around you to pull you closer, burying his face into your neck to plant a kiss there. "But there's nothing planned for today." He whined, and it came out more of a question than it did as a complaint.
You wriggled your way out of the hug and poked his cheek. "You promised you'll make breakfast today though!"
That caused him to stir.
Yuto hefted himself into a sitting position with a huff and sent you a lazy grin. "I guess you're right; I can't back out of that."
Leaning in to plant one last kiss on your forehead, he patted your shoulder before standing up. "Just stay in bed for a while longer, love. I'll let you know when breakfast is ready."
You watched him quietly as he changed out of his pyjamas and exited the bedroom, leaving the door slightly ajar so that you didn't feel completely alone. Placing a hand on your cheek, you wondered why today, of all days, your heart suddenly decided to skip a beat with every word he said. With every move he made.
It was probably then, that something within you clicked and made you realize that wow, you have a boyfriend.
And you have the privilege of waking up next to him every morning and seeing him smile.
=====
You got out of bed not long after Yuto left the room. The sound of the dishes and sizzling on the stove only made you want to wake up and join him in the kitchen.
When you arrived, Yuto greeted you with a nod towards the coffee brewer, already boiled and ready to serve. On your way to grab a mug, you glanced over his shoulder to see what he was making and sent him an approving smirk.
"Looking good, Yu."
He laughed as you poured yourself a cup of the drink and returned to the table. "Are you talking about me or the food?"
You shrugged. "That's up to you. It could be both, you know."
"Well, you came just in time to eat my beautiful breakfast." He replied and transferred the food onto the plates neatly laid out on the table. His spare hand reached into the drawer behind him to grab the utensils and he handed it over to you. "Time to dig in?"
You puckered your lips slightly as you accepted the food. "Give me a kiss first?"
If the sudden request for affection surprised Yuto, he didn't show it. Instead, he promptly grabbed you by the waist and pulled you in for a quick kiss on the lips. He tasted like the chapstick he always kept with him — a mix of vanilla and strawberries.
"Another, please." You asked when you separated, eliciting another one of his lighthearted laughs.
"Anything for you, love."
The kiss was deeper this time, and you blindly dropped the fork and spoon somewhere on the empty space of the table in order to wrap your arms around his neck. Beyond the sweetness of his lips, you could taste the lingering mix of morning breath and bitter coffee.
"Yuto," You muttered, breaking the kiss. "Have you brushed your teeth yet?"
"That's..." He averted his gaze. "I'll do it later, I promise. Let's just eat breakfast before it gets cold?"
"Okay, okay, you win." You decided, backing off to pull yourself a chair. "Let's test out your chef skills."
The breakfast was delicious and he beamed when you praised his cooking skills. You found yourself settled right beside Yuto, as opposed to your usual seat directly in front of him. With an arm linked into his (which admittedly made eating a little more difficult for both of you), you stayed close to the warmth of his body. Placed in front of you, carefully balanced against the box of tissues was your phone playing a video that you've been wanting to show him for a long time now.
Already knowing what's going to come next, you spent most of the time watching Yuto's face, catching every reaction and comment he made about the video.
It was the mundane things like these that made you appreciate him — or even the concept of dating — even more. Sure, going out on exciting dates, sharing thrilling memories. But being able to see him do the most normal activities while having him by your side? You believed that was the peak of a relationship.
"You have something on your face." Yuto's voice pulled you out of your thoughts and you looked at him in confusion. Before you could register his words, a thumb was already wiping your cheek, clearing you of your mess. "There."
"I love you, you know that?" You blurted out the moment you got over the initial shock.
"And I love you more, you know that?" He cocked his head, mimicking your voice.
You buried your face into your hands, unable to handle his cuteness. "Gosh, you're going to be the death of me."
"I'll make sure to take credit at your funeral, then."
=====
You spent the rest of the day trailing Yuto more than you intended to. But you couldn't help it when everything he did made your heart flutter. It felt like the beginning of your relationship all over again. You were amazed when you realized that you could simply ask him for affection and you would just... receive it?
There really was someone in this world who loved you just as much as you loved them. If you asked for a kiss, Yuto would willingly kiss you — this morning was proof of that. And you knew for a fact, that if you hugged him, he would always hug you back. There was hardly a time where he didn't return the "I love you" when you said it to him. And he never forgets to show you just how much you meant to him.
They were all simple things. Things that you'd normally overlook because they were so normal. But at the same time, they were the things you treasured the most.
This concept of dating... was quite a unique one.
"Yuto~" You called out to the boy who, oddly enough, was just standing in the middle of the room, staring out the window. "Can I have a kiss?"
As much as dating piqued your curiosity, you weren't going to complain about how simple it was at its core.
Without asking any questions, Yuto pecked you softly on the cheek, lingering there for an extra moment. You could feel his lips curl up into a smile before he pulled away.
He turned back to the window and squinted his eyes when the sun shone brightly on his face. "The weather's nice today, kinda makes me want to go on a walk."
"I'll come with you!" You offered readily and he perked up at the idea.
"Is that so? Then I guess that's a good incentive to go on a walk." He hummed.
"Of course I'd come with you!" You argued, following him to the front door and slipping a light coat on. "But on one condition."
"And what's that?"
"Let me hold your hand?"
After his shoes were put on, he quietly held out his hand for you to take, and that was enough of an answer.
======
Later in the evening, the two of you were relaxing on the couch watching a rerun of an old show you've watched far too many times now. But with the comfort of the plot and the way it never failed to make you laugh, neither of you minded.
Yuto let you hug his arm as you played with one of his hands. Like this morning, you found yourself spending more time thinking about him, and the show soon became background noise. You inspected every inch of his hand, placing soft kisses on it once in a while. You thought it was incredible, how every single part of him — both inside and out — could be so beautiful.
"What's up with you today?" He asked playfully when you finally distracted him enough to tear his eyes away from the screen. In the back of your mind, you noticed you were both missing out on one of your favourite scenes. "You've been clingier than usual since morning, did I miss something?"
When you didn't answer right away, Yuto's eyes widened as he suddenly sat straight up. "Wait, I didn't miss something, right?"
You laughed at his reaction and pat his shoulder reassuringly. "There's nothing special happening today, Yu, don't worry. I was just thinking..."
"About?" He relaxed back into the couch and let you pull him into your embrace.
You pondered over how to answer him for a couple of seconds. "About how lucky I am to have you."
"That's it?" He asked, baffled at the simplicity.
"Well, in short, yeah." You hesitantly answered and met his gaze when you felt it burning into you. The look in his eyes was a familiar one; a mix of curiosity and determination as he encouraged you to continue.
"It's normal for me to wake up next to you, and see you go to work, and watch stupid shows together and eat meals together and kiss each other goodnight. I don't normally think twice about all of that. But this morning, I realized that being able to do those things with you is so special and I'm so lucky to have you as my boyfriend."
"You know," He started thoughtfully and laced the hand you were holding into yours, tracing light patterns with his thumb. "I've never thought about it that way until you mentioned it."
"It puts things in a different perspective, doesn't it?"
Yuto's eyes wandered as he spoke. "It does, and it's a nice reminder to appreciate everything that we have right now."
"Exactly!" You agreed, happy that he understood what you were getting at.
"Is this why you've been exploiting my kisses today then?"
You froze. "Uh, maybe?"
"And to think that I was worried about missing something important." He let out a dramatic sigh.
"Listen, this was important okay!"
"I know, I know." He moved your clasped hands onto his lap, pulling you closer to him. "I'm glad you brought it up, it's a nice thing to think about."
The two of you settled into a comfortable silence to focus on the last few minutes of the show, everything long forgotten until the credits rolled across the screen. Yuto shut off the TV once they did, tired of the mindless entertainment and stretched as you spoke up again.
"So... I can still have another kiss though, right?"
He smiled. "Yes, of course, you can."
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Text
The Crown, The Sword, and The Gay
The Tower
A/N: mi gente im just trying something out and seeing if people like it :] ive had this done for like months and months on end and i finally decided to share it so em enjoy 
First | Previous| Next
words: 2380
summary: Roman’s stomach is making it very clear that this talk wasn’t going to end well... as long as he doesn’t end up in that tower.
pairings: eventual prinxiety, eventual intrulogical, eventual moceit 
warnings: some potty language (not much), stress, anxiety, disappearance mention, flashback, crying
(let me know if theres any other)
Roman felt himself waking up, maybe because of the stupidly bright sun hitting his eyes, he didn’t know how that was possible since he remembered closing the red velvet curtains shut tight, so he didn't have this exact issue. So, when he heard some ruffling and things being moved around he wasn’t all that surprised. 
¨Rise and shine, you little brat¨ Ruth said in a very tired but demanding voice. 
¨Oh dear nurse, allow me five more minutes¨ Roman whined putting a pillow over his eyes so he could block out the rude sun.
¨Oh, flattery will get you nowhere, mister.¨ Roman could hear Ruth moving around the room, preparing breakfast no doubt. Roman took the pillow off his face and sat up, hair a wreck, and his eyes squinting because of the light coming from the window.
¨And he finally rises,¨ Ruth said sarcastically.
¨Yeah, yeah, the dashing prince has awoken.¨ Roman said half asleep. Ruth helped him sit down so he didn’t trip over anything and started serving him breakfast, she wasn’t going to wait for him to finish eating as she was already heading for the big oak doors. 
¨Wait!¨ Roman sobered up, Ruth flinched a little at the shout but turned around anyway ¨Can I do anything for you?¨ She asked.
¨ Come eat with me, you for sure haven’t eaten anything today.¨ Ruth went to argue but closed her mouth when she noticed she, in fact, had not eaten.
 She sat down in the chair in front of the royal, Roman made a few hand gestures as if to show she was open to take anything, she knew the monarch wouldn’t eat until she had settled for something so, she took a piece of bread and started eating, as did he.
After a few moments of silent eating Ruth spoke up ¨I still don't understand, after all these years you haven’t become a spoiled brat that doesn't care for his servant¨ Roman didn't even look up at her he just said ¨I guess you raised me well.¨ Ruth almost choked on her bread and looked at Roman as if he had gone insane. “Oh come on don't be so humble Ruthie!¨
She still looked at him confused and a little annoyed at the nickname but mostly surprised he would say anything of the sort, ¨Ruth, you are my nurse. You have been with me my entire life, You fed me when I was a baby for god sake! I consider you a mother, even if I have another mother in the throne room right now,” Roman shivered at the thought of having to talk to his parents after the events of the past week but continued anyway “and I sure as hell think of you as the person who raised me.¨ 
Once he had finished he immediately put a mouth full of food and kept eating as if hadn’t given that speech. Ruth still looked shocked but cleared her throat ¨Well, then I made you a sap!¨ Roman started laughing ¨How will your future spouse ever forgive me?¨ Roman burst out laughing and Ruth gave a small chuckle. 
Ruth stood up and went to Roman's closet to gather his outfit for the day, while he finished breakfast. She threw the clothes at him “Hey!¨ Roman made his trademark over dramatic gasp. She sighed “I unfortunately also gave you my dramatics…”
 “And I don’t resent you for that!” Roman screamed back with a big smile on his face. 
Ruth looked like she had something on her mind. Roman didn’t have to wait much before she said what that was, he never did. ¨Would that make you and my Remy brothers?¨ she said, actively ignoring the prince’s comments. Roman stood up going towards his shoji screen to change behind. ¨Ha! We already consider each other brothers so it wouldn’t be much of a change.¨ Ruth started making his bed “Well this is new information to me.¨ Roman giggled a bit 
¨Remy´s supposed to be back by noon, he passed a lot of territories to deliver this message so I sure hope he’s alright¨ Roman has always thought she was a worried mother even to him when he went on long trips.
Roman stepped out from behind the screen and reassured her ¨ He’s fine! He may act reckless but he's very calculating… but expect him a few hours later than what the estimated time of return” Roman slipped away looking for his shoes. ¨Oh and why is that?¨ she asked, hands on her hips, Roman gave a nervous chuckle. 
Shouldn't have let that slip.
“Roman…” Ruth said in a warning tone. Remy was going to kill him but he didn’t want to die at his nurse’s hands “Remy’s been... seeing... this person a-and when his message trip aligns with where they live… he spends some time with the person so…” Ruth looked at him as if deciding something, “As Remy’s mother, I thank you for telling me the truth..” Roman was relieved “But, as your mother, I have to say…YOU SNITCH! Snitches get stitches for a reason!” Roman laughed genuinely and Ruth joined.
After their giggle fit, they heard someone knock on the door. Ruth went to answer the door, it was a guard “His and her highness request the prince’s presence,” Ruth thanked the guard and turned around and Roman looked mortified, “Roman, you have to talk to them.” Roman had never heard Ruth speak that soft. Roman only felt dread “Ruth I don't want to go” He was genuinely petrified.
“I understand, but they are very understanding and I believe they wouldn't punish you for simply trusting the wrong person” Roman shook his head “ They’re already so protective. They always had me under knight or guard surveillance but now they might do something so I won’t be able to sneak by” Roman was panicking and Ruth noticed, she walked up to him. And took his hand “Roman they just want the best for you…” Roman took his hand away from her own “No! They are just afraid they aren’t going to have an heir after one of them ran away.” Roman's hands were in his hair and his eyes started to glaze over.
Roman was very much not over his brother's apparent “disappearance”
“I understand Remus vanishing has affected your parents over protectiveness, BUT they have always aimed to protect you but after what happened...can you really blame them for it?” Roman sighed, Ruth forced his hands out of his hair, he took a shaky breath to calm down “No, but getting hurt is part of life! So what if I trusted the wrong person? Everyone does!” He gestured to the sky as if it was the only person listening, he felt so defeated. 
“Well I can't change anything so, you should tell your parents that!” She didn’t know what to say to make things better. “I’ll try, let’s just hope they at least try to listen” he left it there and headed out of his bedroom’s oak doors, he never liked disagreeing with Ruth. 
 Roman walked down the long hallway towards the throne room but, of course, he wasn’t alone because that would be too much to ask apparently. Instead he was being escorted to see his parents by the guard that had informed him his parents required him. He already knew what they were going to talk to him about and he was dreading it.
Why did he have to make such a mistake?
Did the universe want him to not trust anyone after what happened?! If it would make the sinking feeling in his stomach leave then he would happily oblige.
The guard stopped at the throne rooms doors and Roman took a deep breath as the guard gave him side eye glance and opened the doors, “You required my presence?” Roman spoke trying to keep his voice steady and his head high, “Yes, Roman, we would actually like to talk to you about last week's event…?” He phrased it as a question a little too late. Roman’s father, King Leonardo, wasn’t an emotionally driven person and never was truly soft with anything he said, but he cared. The way he was soft spoken with Roman was just having the opposite effect that his father wanted.
Roman’s mother, Queen Victoria, was very comforting and always tried to shield her children from harm's way, but coming from a family of royals, she didn't have an example to follow but she wanted to be there for her child. “Roman, my little lion heart, I need you to keep in mind this is for your safety...ok?”  Following everything by the book, always looking and being her best, so she would be a good example even if she wasn't nurturing, all she wished was for Roman to know she loved him and Remus with her whole being, Roman just gave her a tense nod as a response. 
Roman’s Father spoke up, “Roman, you're going to be under knight supervision at all times,” That wasn't as bad as Roman expected, he basically already was! Anything but to be stuck in that damn tower “...And you have to stay in the south tower-” ...He should have knocked on wood. 
“Father, I did nothing wrong! I shouldn't be punished for this-” Romans mother spoke up, she knew both her son and husband could be hot headed. She wanted to stop anything before it got the chance to begin “Roman this isn't to punish you! We want to protect you-” The Queen sounded like she was pleading with her son.
Roman did not hear her plea or just ignored it “...For how long do I have to stay there?” Roman’s mother spoke up, “Don't worry, you'll be there maximum 2-” 
“Indefinitely.” 
The King spoke in a cold unforgiving tone, Roman knew he had messed up big time. Victoria turned to her husband “Leo, we agreed he wouldn't be there for more than 2 fortnights, we agreed on that.” The Queen seemed upset but was obviously attempting not to show such emotion. 
“Those were the rules we agreed to when he was a child and he would grant being punished” Both of Roman’s parents were staring at each other, showing they weren't going to back down.
Roman spoke, “Understood.” His voice was mostly monotone but tight, Victoria turned to him with an apologetic gaze. Roman shook his head. It was his own fault, his mother shouldn't blame herself for his actions. 
“I'll tell Ruth, so we can pack.” Roman turned to leave but his father had more to say. “Before you go, Hugo won't be your assigned knight. One of the new recruits is climbing in status and popularity very quickly and he agreed to-” “babysit” Roman cut in. “-protect you. As long as I recommended him to Queen Marie for her armada” 
As if things couldn't get any better, he had to meet this new recruit, he hoped they would at least get along. Roman just nodded and opened the door to leave. At that moment, Roman’s father called the guard that had escorted Roman to get the new recruit as soon as possible, he just left as quickly as he could. 
His parents knew that not being around people and not being able to talk were some of the worse things that could happen to him. They decided it was going to be the way to punish him. Though, he never stayed for more than a month, now he understood why. 
------------------------------------------------------------------------
As Roman- basically power walked- back to his room, his brain tortured him with memories of his 7 year old self being forced onto the tower for the first time.
No! Please it was an accident-!
I won't do it again!
I won't- Please! 
That was all he said as his father signaled the guards to take him, his mother not being able to look, turned her head away, trying to ignore every motherly instinct in her body to stand up and comfort her child. 
The guards dragged him out of the castle- the only home he knew- and shoved him in a carriage, where Ruth was waiting for him. Ruth had always been happy around him but her expression was unreadable -looking back she seemed angry, he just hadn't seen her that way before- but, Roman didn't care. He threw himself onto Ruth and sobbed his tiny heart out, Ruth trying her best to calm him down, he eventually fell asleep. Three hours later, he was woken up by Ruth.
“Were here, principito”
Roman was scared. Ruth saw it in his eyes. 
“Come on! You offend me, you really think I would let them take you to a scary place?” 
The little royal could only muster a small “no”. Ruth took his hand and walked with him toward a tower. Roman thought it was beautiful, that's the day he figured beautiful things can hurt you. 
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Roman never got used to it. He always dreaded the ride there, all the build up to the feeling of nothingness. When he looked up at the tower, he got the same feeling that he did when he was 7, Roman learned to not look up. He’d always prefer being in the tower when he was a kid because, back then they allowed Ruth to stay behind with him. Now she would only go in the carriage with him and leave.
After they stopped allowing Ruth to stay with him, at least he had Hugo to bother, by asking him for stories of his adventures. He didn't have that anymore.
The only adventure story he had now was a vibrant red book, in the book shelf of the tower, the only fictional book in his whole collection. He will admit, it was a very smart move on his parent’s part. They always monitored what he read, filled his whole book shelf in the tower with Philosophy, Math, and Royalty etiquette. When he begged for weeks on end for an adventure book they granted him one but, they made sure it was the only book that was fictional. They wouldn't give him an adventure book based on real events, No! That would be giving Roman too much hope.��
Good move.
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kpurereactions · 4 years
Note
I love your works, they’re beautifully written. 💯 maybe you could do a MX reaction to drunkenly confessing to their best friend and just being all cute.
Shownu:
When he walked into the restaurant he would be frantic. The voice mails you had left him while he was working late at the studio were nonsense and scared him enough to try to come find you. Hed take a deep breath of relief when he saw you with two of your friends, who were just as drunk as you were, giggling over something you said. Hed walk up to your table and sit next to you, taking your chin in his hand as he evaluated just how drunk you were.  “Is is my buhfrng.” You slurred. His eyebrows would furrow at your words. He wasn't your boyfriend.  “well,” You continued holding one finder up to your giggling friends. “Im wmbt him to be. But he doesn't love me back.” You said, swaying forward before clasping your hand over your mouth and giggling. “Why dont you want to be my boyfriend.” You'd ask sternly, sitting up suddenly and putting your hands on your hips. Hed chuckle, completely shocked at what it was he was hearing.  Hed put his arm around you and ask your friends if they had paid before making sure they had a safe way home. Hed help you stand up the best he could and lead you out of the restaurant with as little casualties to the plates on the surrounding tables. 
Once outside hed get you on his back. There would be no reason to even attempt to make you walk back to your apartment, no matter how short of a distance it was. Hed think about your words and it would bring a smile to his lips. “So, you want me to be your boyfriend?” Hed say softly, walking slow through the now quiet street. When you grumbled what sounded like a yes, probably already half asleep hed blush and look at his feet. Hed know this conversation would have to wait until the next day, but the idea of how mortified you'll be was enough to keep him giggling as he walked you home. 
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Wonho:
You usually called him drunk, so at this point in your friendship he knew if you were calling him, you were probably already in a cab on your way home, if not home already. Hed see your name flash across his screen at 2:30 am, and hed smiled. You were kind of cute when you were drunk.  “Youmb told me to call. When i got in cab. So i did well.” You slurred. Hed smile to himself. He did always tell you that when you get into cabs this late at night to call him so nothing would happen.  “Did you have a good time tonight?” Hed ask, throwing his pen on his desk and folding one arm over his chest.  “No.” You pouted.  “Everything okay?” Hed ask, now getting ready to get to you if you needed him.  “You hatme.” “I do not hate you, why would you say that.” “Because,” you said in a very matter of fact voice. “you wont lob me bak.” “I do love you!” Hed say, trying to keep you smiling.  “Not like I love you.” 
The phone would be silent and hed listen as you sniffled, trying to keep your tears back. Without truly thinking hed grab his coat and leave the building, hed run the few blocks to your apartment, still holding you on the phone and thankfully he got there right as your cab was pulling up. As the door swung open he heard you mumble “He hung up on me.” as your head hung.  When you finally noticed him standing there hed welcome you with a big hug and would lift your chin so you had to look at him, a smile plastered across his face. 
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Minhyuk:
Drinking together was a usual thing with you two. Usually all of the members would be present, but this time everyone seemed to leave early. You and Minhyuk would sit there, drunk and on the floor looking at one another. It was his idea to play a game of truth or truth, seeing as the two of you were both a little too drunk to add the dare part. You would catch him off guard when you asked him why he wouldnt date you.  “What do you mean?” “Oh come on, everyone knows I like you.” Youd say, and hed watch you intently as you took a deep sip of your drink.  “I honestly had no idea.” Hed say, smiling to himself as he thought back to all the things you did for him that he thought were cute.  “Okay, Y/n.” Hed say getting your attention. “Dare or dare.”  “Thats not the game. And you didnt even answer my question.” “Come on, dare or dare.” Hed say again, his cheeks slightly turning pink.  “dare.”  “I dare you to kiss me.”
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Kihyun:
He was supposed to come over to hang out, but like most nights the two of you actually had plans to see one another something came up and he had to leave early. You didn't realize how late it had gotten or how many beers you had to drink until you stood for the last time to hit the bathroom and you stumbled into the chair next to you. You laughed. How cliche of you. 
Peeing seemed to only make you more drunk, so when you returned to your balcony and sat down you stared at your phone. Your head screamed to not call him, but your head also wasn't listening. You let your finger trace the patterns of the wooden chair you sat on while the ringing seemed to fill the night sky. 
When he answered the phone in a sleepy voice you exclaimed. You didn't realize he would already be asleep, so you brought your voice down to a whisper. 
‘Did I wake you?’ You'd hear him chuckle as he realized you were slightly drunk. He’d talk to you like you hadn't just woken him up, telling you about his night and answering all the questions you asked him with a soft voice. When you finally in a small voice told him that you were disappointed he had left because this was the night you were going to tell him you had a crush on him he would pause. He wouldn't say anything as he made sure what he had heard you say was what he really heard and when he realized there was nothing else it could have been that you said he would take a breath of a relief and tell you that he liked you too. 
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Hyungwon:
You didn't mean to get drunk at dinner. It was an honest mistake. You were too drunk, just drunk enough to say things you usually wouldn't. The boys all laughed at your goofiness. Hyungwon was nice enough to take you back to your apartment once you  all were done and tired from dinner. He didn't think much about the situation as you took his hand and let your head fall his shoulder. He’d listen to you mumble as you talked about the most random things there when put together. But when you softly said ‘And thats why Im in love with you. I really love you.” He’d stiffen. He wouldn't say anything since you continued to talk against his neck now that you've cuddled up with him. 
The next day when you woke up and everything came back to you he’d figured you would be too mortified to reach out. So by the time you woke up he made sure you would wake up to a text that asked you to dinner so he could tell you his feelings were mutual. 
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Jooheon:
You and Jooheon usually had parties of two on the regular since no one liked to have as much fun on random week days as the two of you. This time it was a Wednesday and the only reason your hang out turned into a party of two was becuase a new commercial Jooheon did was airing. As the night went on you definently drank more and more and soon the two of you began to dance along to the songs that now played through the TV. You spun with a smile on your face, giggling as Jooheon clapped at your moves. Your arms went around his neck as he came closer to dance with you, but was slightly shocked at the sudden contact. You smiled at his arms that eventually wrapped tightly around your waist. “I really like you, Jooheon.” You said softly, quickly dipping your head into your arm that rested on his shoulder.  Your stomach dropped when he slightly pulled away, forcing you to look at him.  “I really like you too.” He said, even softer than you, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he very slowly dips his head to kiss you softly. 
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Changkyun:
The loud thumping music made it hard to communicate with the boys sitting around you, so as the night went on and the drinks continued to pour you kept scooting closer and closer to Changkyun and the rest of the boys to hear what they were saying better. Your group kept taking turns getting up going to the dance floor until it was just the two of you sitting at the large round table. The two of you sat close, Changkyuns arm draped over the back of the chair you sat in as he lent in to speak with you. For what ever reason your heart was exploading as he smiled and slightly licked his bottom lip, almost teasing you. Not caring who saw, he lent in and kissed your suddenly. Just a soft, three second kiss that made your eyes go wide and your hands move to cover your lips. You watched him stare at you with a smug smile, and softly asked him what that was for.  “Well since youve told everyone but me how youve been feeling I figured I’d help you out.” He said, all the teasing in his voice now gone. “Ive liked you for a long time.” You said, shyly, still in shock from the kiss.  “Me too.”
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Kitty
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Text
Don’t Call Me That Pt. 2
Wordcount: 10,129
A/N:  I thought this part 2 would total up to 10k words, but when it hit 10k, I realised that I was only about 65 percent done. So based on the responses I got from tumblr, I decided to publish this first and then conclude the story later on!
TW:  mentions of r*pe, mentions of torture, mentions of drugging someone (??) , mental breakdowns, vulnerability, descriptions of anxiety
Also, HERE’S MY FAV MEMES!! I’m so sorry that I can’t tag respective meme creators, because I saved them on my phone and some of them I forgot to include your usernames!! I’M SO SORRY!!! And honest to god is wear there were more but i must have lost them im so sorry im so incompetent lmao
memeesss
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You glanced at your phone.
It had already been a week in Hawaii with your friends, and Jason still hadn’t texted you.
Well, you should have expected it, really. Jason was a traumatised, mentally ill man who had been locked away for two years.
Of course he wouldn’t text you first.
You had contemplated texting him over the past few days, typing in an array of messages ranging from a simple “hey” to a whole paragraph, and deleting all of it without hitting send. Did he even switch the phone on? Was he surfing the internet? Or was the phone still there on the shelf where you had left it.
It was driving you crazy.
“Do you have a boyfriend we don’t know about?” a voice called.
You looked up and squinted at the man who was standing up, looking down at you. You were sitting on the beach, a little further away from the ocean where your friends were.
“What are you talking about?” you asked as Alex plopped down next to you.
“You’ve been fidgety the whole time,” he pointed out, combing back his dark shoulder length hair with his fingers, getting sand in them. “We’re on a private beach, and you’ve been fussing over your phone. Who are you talking to?”
“No one,” you grumbled truthfully.
“The girls have been gossiping,” he gestured to the two other girls playing in the water. Your closest friends. It was four of you in that inseparable group.
“Of course they have,” you groaned, “Tell them to SAY IT TO MY FACE, COWARDS!”
You shouted at them, earning you grins and middle fingers from the distance.
“They’re saying you’re in love with someone,” he chuckled, “But they always say stupid shit like that without any evidence. But sometimes, a girl’s intuition is just right, ya know?”
“Stop beating around the bush, Alex,” you rolled your eyes at him despite knowing he couldn’t see past your sunglasses. “No, I’m not in love. I’m just waiting for a text that might never come.”
“Why don’t you text him first?”
“Because it’s not as simple as that!” you flailed your arms, “He’s… complicated. I can’t just text him anything.”
“Girl, unless he’s Mr. Nottingham, or related to you, then it really isn’t that complicated,” he joked.
“Ugh,” you groaned again, falling back onto the cloth you spread out. “Fine. I’ll text him.”
“Atta girl,” Alex grinned, “I’m gonna head back in the water. Join us after. Please?”
“Yeah, yeah,” you waved.
Opening the text window for what had to be the thirtieth time, you finally decided to text him.
You: Miss me yet?
Staring intently at the small ‘sent’ below your message bubble, you waited for it to turn to ‘delivered’.
“Yes!” you hissed. It meant that Jason had indeed switched on the phone.
But after twenty minutes you realised that it didn’t matter if Jason switched on the phone if he didn’t want to talk to you. Cursing to yourself, you decided to join your friends in the water, hoping it’ll distract you from checking your phone every five minutes for a text message that might never come.
After an hour of actually spending time with your friends, all four of you returned to the villa, your mood elevated. Checking your phone, you could have jumped for joy when you saw not one, but four consecutive texts in a row.
Jason: Duck off. Jason: What the duck Jason: WHY CANT I SAY DUCK Jason: I DUCKING HATE THIS
You couldn’t let out a string of giggles.
“Oooh, lover boy texted you back, huh?” Alex peeked over your shoulder. “Gimme, I wanna mess with him.”
He snatched your phone from your hands, surprisingly swift and smooth for a civilian, raising it way above his head so you couldn’t reach it and opened the camera.
“Alex-!”
He threw his other arm over your shoulder and pulled you into his bare chest, crushing you before you could tackle him down. He snapped a picture and sent it.
You froze in horror.
“Why the hell did you do that?!” you yelled.
“Relax, I was just messing around,” he gave your phone back to you.
“You don’t- you don’t understand, you fucking asshole!” you screamed.
“I- I’m sorry,” Alex stuttered, surprised by your reaction. “I was just-”
“Fuck off!” you snapped.
Panicking, you saw the little notification below the picture turning from Received to Read.
No. No, no, no, no.
This was bad.
You didn’t want to overwhelm Jason by sending him photos of your activities, thinking that he might react badly to the sudden surplus of familiarity and sense of being close to someone. Now you were worried that he might start to push you away in fear, reverting back to how he was before, and months of progress would have been all for nothing.
He would probably start swearing at you, or worse- switch off the phone and reject any form of communication completely. You hurriedly texted a reply.
You: I’m so sorry! I didn’t send that, my friend was just messing around.
Expecting the worst, you braced yourself for the inevitable. Instead, he sent you:
Jason: Who the hell is that guy?? Jason: Why are you in your underwear??
Your mouth hung open as you stared in shock at the screen. Because you took so long to recover from the shock, he sent you another message.
Jason: ???
Snapping out of it, you texted back.
You: That’s just my friend. Sorry about that! And I’m not in my underwear, it’s a bikini! I’m in Hawaii.
You waited for him to reply, but ten minutes of you sitting anxiously on the turquoise sofa in the middle of the villa listening to the waves of the beach outside from the open doors passed by, and he still hadn’t.
Perhaps he’s busy- wait. There’s no way Jason would be busy. You tried to coax him into a conversation.
You: You can turn off your autocorrect if you want to swear without hassle. Go to your Keyboard settings.
You plopped your phone on the empty seat next to you and dried your hair.
“Ugh, come on!” complained Natalie, fully clothed and washed, walking towards the open concept kitchen from her room. “You’re getting sand everywhere!”
“Woops, my bad,” you grinned.
“There’s a shower outside on the porch for a reason you know,” she flipped her blond beach waves at you, looking through the fridge.
Alex stood quietly at the kitchen island, now scared to say anything.
You rolled your eyes. “Just don’t do it again.”
“Okay, I promise!” he grinned.
Ding.
Jason: fuck. fuck. fucking fuck. Jason: found it. You: Proud of you, man.
You went to your room and showered, then dried off and put on fresh clothes while waiting for Jason to reply.
Of course, he never did.
Groaning, you had to remind yourself that he was not used to human interaction, and texting would come unnaturally to him. Which meant that you had to be the one to keep the conversation going.
You: Do anything interesting since I left?
You saw him typing almost immediately this time.
Jason: no.
Of course not.
You: Have you been eating properly? Jason: yeah.
God, it was so difficult. You were in the middle of typing something when he replied again.
Jason: yoire not my mom Jason: yoire Jason: YOIRE Jason: FUCK WHY CANR I TYPE
You felt guilty for laughing, but you did anyway.
You: Now that you switched off autocorrect, it won’t correct your typos and misspells anymore. Jason: i fucking knw that. Ive been gone for two yeard not twenty. You: Then why do you sound like a grandpa? Jason: BECAISE YOU GAVE ME A FUCKINF IPHONE!! I USED AN ANDROID!!
Now you were really laughing out loud, so you sent him a GIF of a woman rolling her eyes.
Jason: wtf you can send gifs throug text now?? You: Welcome to 2020, my dude. Jason: im not your fucking dude
Typing a reply, Jason interrupted you once again.
Jason: teach me how to do that
Smiling widely, you found that you couldn’t wait for the next week to pass by so you could go back and see him.
***
“How’s Jason?” you asked the minute you reached the Cave computers, panting from the run down.
“Wow, hello to you, too,” Dick chuckled, spinning towards you on the wheeled chair.
It was a Sunday afternoon, and Bruce and Dick were in front of the computers, discussing a case that had connections to Bludhaven Police Department.
Gone for two weeks, you had a lot to catch up on.
“According to Alfred, he’s doing well,” Bruce answered, “Even started to ask for seconds last week. Now Alfred has been making portions for two.”
“He asked? For seconds?” you gasped. “How?”
“He left a note on the tray two days after you left. He’s been making meal requests, too. Texts Alfred in the morning to let him know.”
“Texted?!”
“Alfred slipped his number on the tray in case Jason wanted anything specific.”
“I slipped mine as well, but he hasn’t texted me yet,” Dick pouted.
“When did he start texting?” you ignored Dick.
“Last Sunday.”
So the same day you started texting him, then.
“He hasn’t texted me,” Dick sighed, looking dejected like a kid who was told Disneyland blew up.
“He’ll come around, Dick,” you offered him a smile, “I mean- he’s already texting Alfred!”
“Yeah,” he lamented.
“Okaaay, nice talk. I’m gonna go see him now, bye.”
You ran to the box, but stopped right before you opened the internal door. After checking your hair with your phone camera, you tried to stifle the butterflies in your stomach.
Ugh, you were so fucked.
Taking a deep breath, you knocked on the door.
“Yeah,” Jason’s muffled grunt answered you.
Pushing it open, your eyes immediately went to the bed only to find that he wasn’t lounging around reading a book like you expected. Instead, your mouth dropped open when you saw him on the floor, doing push ups.
Shirtless.
Jason had changed drastically during the two weeks you were gone. You noticed that he had definitely gained weight, as well as muscle mass.
“Uh, wh-what are you..?”
He stood up, and you swore your heart skipped a beat.
His muscles were much more prominent and defined now, and he looked like he was going to achieve Dick’s physique if he kept it up for another month or two.
“Welcome back,” he simply said before taking gulps from a water bottle you definitely had not seen before.
“Thanks,” you walked over and sat on his bed, “I’m glad to see that you decided to start taking care of yourself again.”
“What, this? This isn’t for me.”
“Huh?” you cocked your head in curiosity.
“I… I lost a lot of muscle mass. My body- it isn’t how it used to be,” he frowned, “And I can’t have you lusting over it when it’s not at its peak.”
“What- what do you-?” you stammered, suddenly getting hot.
Jason merely smirked and then continued his push ups.
You watched as his developing muscles rippled, a thin layer of sweat making his skin glisten in the light. It was amazing how he had progressed so much in such a short period of time. You guessed that he must have just been occupying his days by working out.
No wonder he’s been asking for seconds.
“Enjoying the view?” Jason breathed, pausing with his arms straightened, his head angled upwards towards you.
“No, shut up,” you looked away.
“Here, be useful,” he started, “Sit on my back.”
“What?”
“I’ve gotten used to my own body weight, I need extra resistance,” he elaborated, “Come on, sit on my back.”
“But it’s all sweaty,” you whined, pretending to protest. Definitely pretending- for the sake of your own dignity.
You got up and went over towards him anyway.
Carefully, awkwardly, you sat on his back as you would a park bench. You rested your palms flat against his sticky skin to stabilise yourself. Suddenly, he dipped down without warning, earning a soft squeal from you.
“Fuck, you’re heavy,” he strained, but continued to do the push ups. He was shakier, struggling with the weight, and after twenty-five, he paused. “Okay, I think I’m done.”
But before you had the chance to get off him, he suddenly stood up, throwing you off his back to have you fall on the floor on your ass.
“Jason, you assho-” you clapped your hand over your mouth, realising what you had just said.
Oh, no. Oh, fuck.
He stood towering over you, his jaw clenching as he stared you down with his cold, blue eyes.
“I’m so sorry! I forgot! It was a reflex and-”
“Whatever. I don’t care anymore,” he rolled his eyes, reaching for his bottle.
You blinked. Then scrambled to your feet.
“You don’t care anymore?” you repeated slowly.
“I don’t care if you call me that,” he huffed.
That made your heart swell and melt at the same time.
“I got used to your voice,” he mumbled, expression changing as he looked away. He frowned, as if he was angrily staring at a distant object.
You had just guessed that he didn’t like to be called his name because of a sense of familiarity, but now you were thinking that there was much more to that than what you had originally thought.
“So, I can call you… Jason?” you tested.
“Yeah, call me whatever you want,” he sat on his bed, looking up at you.
You smiled, thankful that you had finally crossed that bridge. “You know, I could get some workout stuff for you? Weights, bands, that bar thing that you can put at your door frame for pull ups…”
“You’d like to see that, huh?” he smirked.
“You flatter yourself too much,” you scoffed.
“How was Hawaii?” he changed the subject all of a sudden.
“It was fun. Beach was great, locals were great, loved the vibe- what are you doing?”
Jason had stood back up and started to walk closer and closer to you, getting all up in your space like a predator finally cornering its prey. You kept on taking steps back until your ass hit the edge of the desk.
Nowhere else to run, your heart started hammering. He leaned in, his hands resting on the desk on either side of your body, trapping you against the table and himself. You looked up and gulped. You could almost feel the heat radiating from his bare skin.
“Are you afraid of me?” he muttered lowly.
“Why would I be afraid of you?” you whispered.
“You tell me,” he said.
“Well, I’m not afraid of you,” you stated.
“Oh really?” he raised an eyebrow. Then, you felt his hand grip your wrist tightly, pressing down on your skin with his fingers. “Your pulse is very fast for someone who’s not afraid of me.”
“It’s because you’re all up in my space!” you argued.
“Didn’t look like you mind when your friend,” he snarled the word, “was all up in your space.”
“My friend? What- oh,” you widen your eyes in realisation, “You mean Alex.”
“Is that his name?”
“Alex is just a friend, nothing more. He’s just someone I’m close to,” you reassured him.
Which then made you think about why you were reassuring him.
“Oh, you were definitely close to him,” Jason growled.
“Wait- are you… jealous?” a smile creeped your lips.
He scowled at you for a few moments, and you could see the little tics in his expression that said he was annoyed. The flared nostrils, the muscles of his jaw clenching and unclenching, the very slight twitches at the corner of his left eye.
“No,” he finally said, taking a step back from you. “I’m going to shower. Since you couldn’t stop staring at me, the invitation is still open for you to join.”
“You know, I’m starting to think that maybe I prefer it when you were broody instead of this. Please go back to your depressive mental state,” you sarcastically replied.
Jason barked out an actual laugh. Though his laugh was odd, like someone who’s only now discovering that humans were indeed capable of laughter, you found comfort in it. It was no longer hysterical and devoid of humor. He was getting better, learning to embrace a connection with someone, and it made you extremely happy.
“Maybe I should,” he answered with a cheeky glint in his eye, “Then that way you can give me more sponge baths.”
He left you alone in his room, flushed and at a loss for words.
***
“I find it very odd that people would yell ‘Batman!’ when they realise you’re there,” you rambled while climbing out of the Batmobile.
You were absolutely drenched from the downpour that had been going on all night. It was 4 am on a friday night and you had just returned from patrol.
Bruce took off his cowl immediately, revealing tired eyes despite the relatively slow night.
“It’s like they’re saying ‘Look at me! I’m here! Please knock me out or hang me upside down from the-’ Bruce?”
Bruce had stiffen, staring at something behind you. You turned around and was shocked to see Jason in the mid-distance, sitting on the ground outside the black box that was his room, leaning against the cool metal.
He himself was staring intently at Bruce, not even sparing you a glance.
You looked back and forth between the two men, sensing a high tension silent conversation.
Then, Bruce’s eyes relaxed and the corners of his mouth twitched upwards ever so slightly in that hardly-there-Bruce-smile.
He gave Jason one stiff nod of understanding, then walked away to the computers at the other end of the cave, leaving you alone with his son.
Jason relaxed as you walked over to him, wringing your hair to squeeze out all the excess water.
“Aw, you waited up for me,” you teased, standing in front of him with your hands on your hips, grinning away.
“Fuck off,” he snorted, “I was bored.”
You noticed him clenching his jaw as he looked at you from top to bottom, eyes lingering longer on the ‘R’ on your left breast.
Ah, it was his first time seeing you in your uniform.
His uniform.
Suddenly, you felt like an imposter in those colors and had the strong urge to rip the uniform off.
You wanted to say something, but Jason beat you to it.
“There were times in that shit hole where I wanted to burn that uniform off my skin,” he grit, “Kept on thinking to myself. I wish I never became Robin. I wish I never met Bruce Wayne.”
Your heart shattered at his confession. It was extremely rare for him to bring up anything related to his two year torture, and the previous times were never in such detail.
Realising you needed to say something, you opened your mouth. “I’m so-”
“Don’t,” he cut you off, “You don’t have to say anything.”
Yes, sometimes you knew that he just wanted you to listen.
You nodded silently and went to sit next to him on the floor.
“It… suits you,” he forced out.
“Hmm?”
“The uniform. It suits you. More than it ever suited me,” he grumbled.
“Oh, I don’t know about that. I think your ass would look quite nice in green,” you joked, nudging his shoulder with your own.
He chuckled deeply, nudging you back even harder- hard enough for you to lose your balance and topple sideways, earning another breathy laugh from Jason.
***
Another month passed by, and you found yourself falling deeply for Jason- much to your dismay. You knew Jason wasn’t ready for any kind of intense emotions, and that it would take a very long time before he was.
So you swallowed your emotions down, stifling them and hoping it would go away.
The two of you had developed a pleasant friendship, often bickering and joking around, with Jason teasing you about your obvious physical attraction to him.
He also now occasionally waited outside his cube for you to come back after patrol, never really venturing too far from it, and still avoiding contact with both Bruce and Dick. Only you and Alfred had the privilege to speak to him.
Even then, sometimes you would visit his room but only getting a “I’m not feeling it today. Please leave.”
Understandingly, you would nod silently and leave him alone. You knew he still had his bad days, sometimes not eating his meals.
But mostly, he was getting better, both mentally and physically.
With nothing much to do the whole day, Jason was now obsessed with working out and bulking up. He now had a few simple equipment in his room- mostly weights.
You figured that it was a coping mechanism for him, a healthy outlet to channel all his rage and negative emotions into.
But come on. He was getting even hotter and it was making it extremely difficult for you to stop yourself from checking him out, fantasizing about him when he wasn’t around. Still, you couldn’t complain. Even though he hadn’t reached Dick’s size yet, he was very near to it, and his naturally bigger body frame and build made up for the still developing muscles.
Hell, he was now sporting a six pack.
But you knew that he was still not as well as you hoped he would be. The bloodshot eyes he had was proof that he doesn’t sleep well- and you soon found out why.
It was a little past midnight on your night off from patrol, and you were using your break in the best way you could think of- by sleeping. Something woke you up that night.
A soft knock on your door.
You frowned, eyes still closed, wondering who it was.
Bruce would usually knock twice. Strong, clear, and with purpose. Dick would start pounding rapidly on your door, annoying you intentionally. Alfred would give three soft knocks followed by a ‘Miss?’
Your eyes flew open. There was only one other person in the manor.
Throwing your covers aside, you jumped out of bed and rushed to the door to open it.
Jason stood outside your door in the dim lights of the hallway, frowning and running his fingers nervously through his messy dark hair. He was wearing a t-shirt with boxers, standing awkwardly.
“Jason?” you hated how your voice sounded so sleepy. You cleared your throat. “Are you okay? Would you like to come in?”
He nodded silently, and you made way for him to enter before closing the door behind you.
“Sit on the bed,” you told him while jumping back into yours, sitting up cross legged.
The bed dipped when he sat on it, copying your motion and crossed his legs.
You waited for him to say something, your eyes straining to catch his in the dark. But he just remained silent, staring into space and avoiding your eyes.
“How did you know this was my room?” you asked, starting with a light topic.
“Only one that was locked. I already know where everyone else sleeps,” he explained.
“That’s right,” you realised, “I tend to forget that you’re probably even more familiar with the manor than I am.”
“Did you know there’s an old dumbwaiter in Bruce’s room?” you saw him smirk from the shadows that was casted on his face, “I used to hide in there, waiting to catch him off guard.”
“What? Why?”
“Dick and I, we had a bet,” he recalled the memory, “Whoever gets to surprise Bruce first would owe the other a special favor. Only rule was that we had to have it on video as proof.”
You appreciated that moment, the first time he ever spoke about both Dick and Bruce as a fond memory.
“I won, by the way,” he continued, “But- I forgot to press record on my phone.”
“Oh, no,” you groaned for him.
“Yeah, and Dick refused to believe me,” he chuckled, “That old man didn’t want to admit it either. But I swear- the look on his face when I jumped out while he and some model were going at it- priceless.”
Your jaw dropped, and then you burst into a fit of laughter, tears filling your eyes.
“You- you- you jumped out on him while he was having sex?!” you squealed.
“Yeah,” he grinned, “I didn’t even care that it sort of scarred me, because I managed to catch Batman off guard.”
The both of you laughed, his deep voice mingling with your own on that quiet night.
“I’m glad you’re here, Jason,” you smiled warmly at him.
But then, his smile fell.
“I hate my name now.”
“I’m sorry,” you began, “You said it was okay to call you that, so I-”
“No, it’s fine,” he started running his fingers through his hair again, “It’s just- I don’t know.”
“You can tell me anything,” you reassured, “It won’t leave this room. I promise.”
He looked at you, worry in his eyes. “Okay. Fine. Yeah.”
You waited for him to begin.
He took a deep breath. “I’ve been having nightmares. Almost every night. It’s always the same one.”
“You want to tell me about it?” you prompted him after waiting for him to continue.
“I hate my name because he said it a lot. Joker,” he scowled, “After repeatedly burning my skin for my name, it’s like that’s all he said. In that annoying, high pitched, sing-song voice of his. Jason, Jason, Jason. It made me hate my name. It made me hate hearing it.”
“I- I didn’t know how much time passed when I was in there,” he continued, “But, fuck. It was- it was hell. And the worst part was that I kept on waiting for Bruce. Waiting and hoping for him to find me and save me. I was so desperate. You- I-”
He choked on his words. His eyes were squeezed shut and his lips tight.
You wanted to reach out to him, hug him, tell him that everything was okay now. But you didn’t. You waited for him to collect himself so he could finish telling you his story, just like how he wanted to.
“Anyway, I- despite all that,” he sighed, “That was the only thing that kept me sane. I kept on clinging onto the hope that he was out there, searching. And that helped for a while. Until- until that happened.”
He was breathing heavily now, fidgeting more. Jason was definitely getting increasingly agitated the deeper he went.
“Fuck,” he breathed, “Fuck.”
The moment you realised he was crying was when he let out a sniffle. You automatically took his hand in yours, squeezing it as a form of comfort.
“It’s okay,” you told him, “You don’t have to tell me if you’re not ready.”
“No,” he shook his head, “I need to. I have to. I can’t take this anymore. Keeping everything in, I feel like I’m about to fucking explode.”
“Okay, then take it slow,” you said, “No rush. Anytime you’re ready.”
He nodded, eyes still closed, as if he was afraid of letting you see him cry.
“One night,” he began, “I think- I don’t know what was different- but I think something went wrong for him. Or right? That’s how it was. Tormenting me was fun, but it was also an outlet for him. But at the same time when he was happy, he also tortured me. He came to me, and- injected me with some sort of drug. That never happened before. He made sure that my head was clear whenever he hurt me so that I could feel everything he did.”
“But- he did- and- immediately, I felt weak,” he continued, “I mean, I was already weak. But my head. It was cloudy. I remember everything clearly, but it was like my brain couldn’t process it, couldn’t communicate with my body. I felt like I was looking out through a window that was my eyes- like I was in someone else’s body, experiencing someone else’s moments.”
“He released me,” Jason’s voice was now barely a whisper. “He released me from the ropes, and I fell to the floor. And then he- he- fuck.”
He let go of your hand and started pulling at his hair, rocking back and forth on your bed. He was sobbing now, his shoulders jerking up in sharp intakes of breaths. The only thing you could do was to stay silent and hold back your own tears.
You rested your hand on his knee, giving him a textile connection with reality so he doesn’t fall into his own thoughts.
“You- he- he- ruh- ruhp-”
Your heart sank to your stomach in horror as you realised what Jason was trying to say. It was as if you were plunged into icy water, chills running down your spine at the true revelation of what he had gone through in that cursed cell.
“Oh, no,” you breathed.
“He pushed me down,” he choked, “Pushed me down and climbed on top. I- I couldn’t even fight him. I was- I was conscious the whole time and I knew what was happening, but I couldn’t fucking do anything.”
Your tears were falling down now, both at the sight of Jason looking so vulnerable and fragile, and at his confession. Not being able to help yourself, you threw your arms over his neck and crashed into his hard body, burying your face in the crook of his shoulder.
His arms immediately wrapped around you, clutching you so hard it was painful as he buried his own face into your shoulder.
“And he kept on saying my name,” he said in muffled cries, “Jason, Jason, Jason. The whole fucking time. And- and I knew. He didn’t do it for pleasure. He did it to torment me. He- he didn’t even- he didn’t even finish.”
Jason sobbed into your skin for the next few minutes, his tears soaking through your night shirt. “But I did. Even though it was painful. Fuck, the pain was worse than anything he had ever done to me before. But- he- I- I fucking came.”
The both of you were sobbing now, his ragged breaths mingling together with your own on that quiet night.
His grip on you was tight, as if he thought that if he let go, you would disappear. So he clung onto you with all his might to keep you there with him as he recalled the horrific events.
“That's what broke me. I was so disgusted with myself. I hated myself. And he- he saw everything and- and laughed. He laughed so hard, I thought he was going to choke and die. I’ve never seen him laugh like that. And I remember every single fucking moment of being helpless on that fucking floor while he- fuck. Fuck.”
“And then he left. He left me on the floor bleeding and I never saw him again. And I went fucking insane. I tried to kill myself so many fucking times. So many times, I lost count. That’s what I dream about every night. His laughs, and his ‘Jason, Jason, Jason’.”
And that was that. That was the story.
The end of Jason Todd.
The both of you cried long and hard that night in each other’s arms. Eventually, you both lied down on the pillows together, underneath the covers.
“Please don’t tell Bruce,” he whispered to you.
Your head was on his chest, his big arms wrapped around your waist, your legs tangled with his.
You smiled at that. Even with the trauma, even with the sense of abandonment he felt, he still wanted to protect Bruce from knowing the truth.
Because the both of you knew that the truth would kill him.
“I promise,” you whispered back.
And then the both of you fell asleep together.
***
“Has Jason been sleeping in your room with you?” Bruce asked you on one fine Saturday morning at breakfast.
It had been about a week and a half since the first time Jason knocked on your door and poured out his feelings to you.
“He gets nightmares,” you tried to explain.
He thought that if he told you everything, the nightmares would stop. But it didn’t. But he then realised that the only thing that made it better was sleeping by your side, having someone there to wake him up from living his own hell in a loop.
“And do the two of you… Just sleep?” Bruce frowned.
“Yes!” you widen your eyes in horror at the insinuation. “Bruce! Come on!”
“I know you have feelings for him, and I’m sure he does for you as well. But I don’t think something like that is what Jason needs right now,” he stated.
“Yes, I know!” you groaned at the thought having that kind of conversation with him, “Jesus, Bruce. I know. I’m just there to wake him up or help him fall back asleep. Nothing more.”
Bruce nodded, deep in thought. “Has he… told you? About what happened?”
You pursed your lips. “Yes.”
“You’re not going to tell me?”
“No.”
“Hmm,” his frown went deeper. “I understand. He will tell me when he is ready.”
“Exactly,” you smiled, hiding the fact that Jason may never tell Bruce what happened. Never the full story.
“He still hasn’t left the manor?”
“No,” you sighed, “I asked him if he wanted some fresh air. Just outside the main door, not even going down the steps. But he refused. Told me to, and I quote, ‘Fuck off’.”
“Well, he’s only just left the cave, and it’s just to your room,” Bruce thought out loud, “It’s still progress. Especially since he’s been talking to you about the past.”
“He only spoke about it one time,” you said, “And then never again.”
“I see,” he hummed, “And you’re okay with him sleeping with you?”
“Next to me, Bruce, sleeping next to me,” you corrected.
“Yes, and you’re okay with that?”
“Yeah, it’s all good,” you assured him, “I can kick him out any time I want- but I don’t want to. He looks like a lost puppy sometimes.”
“An angry lost puppy.”
You chuckled at that and couldn’t agree more.
*** While Jason got the sleep he needed when he was next to you, it was counterproductive on your end. You had never been with anyone before, and definitely had not slept on the same bed with another man.
So to feel his body heat and breaths against your skin, his occasional light snores, it made your mind go on hyperdrive.
Most of the time, the two of you would just lie down, your back against his front, or your backs against each other, or both on your backs just staring at the ceiling- and talked. You would be the one talking the most, of course, about anything you could think of. You would tell him about your day, your patrols, something you read about online, or the current news.
But that one particular night during week three of him sleeping next to you, the two of you were silent. It wasn’t an awkward or uncomfortable silence, but the kind of silence that was pleasant and was better described as a peaceful quiet.
You had your back pressed against his front and his arm was lazily draped over your waist. It was a cold night, and you were wearing just a tank top and pyjama shorts, snuggling under the covers that went up all the way to your nose.
Shifting a bit while snuggling comfortably, you pressed yourself against Jason’s body to get more of his heat. But then, you were met with something poking against your lower back.
“Ngh, please ignore that,” Jason huffed.
Oh.
For some reason, you forgot that Jason was a physically healthy male who was capable of having sexual thoughts and feelings. All this while, you thought you were the only one.
“Are you- uh- is that- uh-” you stuttered, feeling your face flush with heat.
Feeling your body suddenly alert with excitement.
“Yes, it’s my fucking penis,” he grit almost angrily, “What, never heard of an erection before?”
“Of course I have!” you argued rather defensively, “It’s just- I’m surprised, that’s all.”
“Why?” he demanded, “You didn’t think I could get it up or something?”
“No, of course not!” you denied, “It just didn’t cross my mind, that’s all.”
A pause. Then-
“Well,” he sighed, “You wouldn’t have been wrong.”
Your mind blanked for a second.
“What do you mean?” you asked softly.
“It’s my- fuck- it’s my first time,” he confessed.
“Your first time getting an erection?” you gasped.
“No, you idiot,” he snapped, “It’s my first time getting hard since… since… then.”
Oh. Oh, you were an idiot.
“It’s just- after that- even when I was downstairs, alone and safe, I- I couldn’t,” he told you, “I kept on thinking back to that time and- and I couldn’t. I found it disgusting.”
And immediately, like someone doused you in cold water, any feeling of horniness you had when you first felt his erection against you disappeared. You just felt so sad for him, but also angry. Angry that he had to go through all of that, and angrier that there was nothing you could do about it.
“So, why do you think you’re getting it now?” you asked. Perhaps talking about it in an objective manner would help guide him through his thought process.
“Are you kidding me?” he scoffed, “You’re fucking pressing your ass against my dick, what did you think would happen?”
“Wait, what?” your eyes widen, “You’re hard because of me?”
“No shit,” he said, “You’re hardly wearing any clothes, too.”
You shouldn’t feel happy due to the circumstance and context, but there you were ecstatic that he found you attractive enough to pop a boner after so long.
“Fuck,” he sighed, suddenly pressing himself closer to you.
His hand that draped over your waist when to actually grip it. Then, then, he grinded his hard on against your ass.
“Mmm,” he rumbled deeply, “Feels good.”
There. That was it. You were once again flooded with the feeling of heat that pooled at your stomach, a tingling sensation started at your core. Feeling hot despite the low temperature of the night, you clenched your thighs together, needing the slight pressure.
“Yeah?” you whispered.
“Yeah,” he grinded on you again, and then unexpectedly let out a chuckle.
“What is it?” you smiled, loving it whenever you heard him laugh.
“I thought… For the longest time, I thought I was broken. That he broke me,” he revealed, “I thought I needed to get all Wingardium Leviosa on this little fucker.”
“Oh my God,” you laughed and groaned at the same time, “You’re so fucking embarassing.”
He laughed along with you and continued. “But now I’m hard and- and horny. You made me feel like I’m normal again. Like I’m sixteen again, and getting horny over everything.”
Sometimes, we take the normal things for granted. Food, shelter, clothes. In this case, it was a goddamned boner. In a way, Jason’s erection was symbolic- however funny it sounded. Getting your sexual appetite and need back after being so traumatised was a massive leap for many people who had experienced the same thing.
It meant that Jason was healing well.
“Does that make you happy?” you asked.
“Not particularly,” he admitted, “But I’m definitely not sad either.”
“That’s good enough for now, then,” you beamed.
“Yeah,” he breathed.
Another few moments of silence. You could feel it, his cock pushing into you. However tempted you were to push back and grind, you held yourself still.
“Uh, Jason?” you voiced.
“Yeah.”
“Do you want to like, take care of it?” you asked, “I mean. My bathroom is available. Or- there are many empty rooms.”
“No,” he simply stated.
“No?”
“No.”
“It’s kinda poking into me.”
“Just ignore it.”
“Ignore it?” you gaped, “How can I ignore it? You’re literally pressing it into my ass.”
“Well, then do you want to take care of it?” he teased.
You couldn’t argue back. “Fine, I’ll ignore it.”
He chuckled. “I’ll turn around.”
When he made the movement, you suddenly grabbed him by the wrist. “No, it’s fine. Stay here.”
You expected him to tease you like he usually would, make a crass comment, or even a ‘fuck off’.
Instead, he wrapped his arms around you again in silence, and the both of you drifted to sleep.
***
“Do you think this color suits me?” Natalie asked, holding up a floral red dress.
The four of you were at the mall in Diamond District. Now that high school was over, and everyone would be going off to separate colleges in a few months, you tried to spend time with each other as much as you could.
“Any color suits you, Nat,” you rolled your eyes, “You’re hot stuff.”
“Jesus, it’s like you’re shoving it in our faces at this point,” Sarah added, flipping her brunette hair to the side, tight curls flowing down.
“Aw, you guys,” Nat pretended to tear up, “I’m gonna miss you guys so much!”
“Not again,” Alex groaned, “We’ve been through this so many times.”
“I’m gonna be so miserable without you guys,” Natalie continued on, ignoring Alex’s interruption.
“I don’t know,” Sarah shrugged, “I think I’d enjoy New York. I can have pizza parties with the rats in my overpriced apartment.”
You chuckled at Sarah’s joke. Everyone was leaving Gotham except you. Deciding to continue with Robin, you opted for Gotham University- prestigious, old, and most importantly, close to home.
Your phone dinged in your pocket. You opened it to find texts from Dick.
Dick: OH MY GOD. Dick: I’m at the Manor. Dick: Was going to the Cave gym to work out. Dick: AND Dick: JASON IS HERE!!! WHAT DO I DO?!?!
That was new. Jason would usually just use whatever basic equipment he had in his room to work out. The fact that he was at the Cave’s sparring area where all the other fancier work out equipment were was out of the ordinary.
You: Just go. See if he reacts. If he suddenly stiffens and just stay there not doing anything, then leave. If he continues on, then it’s okay to stay- but don’t initiate anything! Dick: OKOKOK
You waited anxiously for Dick’s update. All four of you were now walking towards the food court, but you hardly listened to their bickering. Forty-five minutes passed before Dick texted you again.
Dick: OMG HE TALKED TO ME You: What did he say? Dick: He asked me to pass him his towel. You: That’s all he said? Dick: IT’S PROGRESS OKAY!!
Dick was right. It meant that Dick was now the third person Jason had spoken to. Adding another person to his list of contacts was definitely progress.
You were happy for him.
You:Is he still there? Dick: Nah he left Dick: But WOW he’s looking good. He must have been really going at it. I think he might get bigger than me soon You: All he does now is work out. He’s obsessed. Dick: Yeah I can tell
You decided to leave it at that for now and try to concentrate on your friends, but Dick sent another message.
Dick: ARE YOU TWO HAVING SEX?!?!
You spat out your drink, earning weird looks from everyone.
You: DICK!!!! WTF NO!!
Dick never replied.
***
“Can I ask you for a favor?” Jason asked, his voice breaking the silence of your dark room. The two of you were on your bed, lying down and staring at the ceiling.
“Of course,” you said. It didn’t matter to you what Jason asks for. He hardly ever asked for anything.
“Could you… Take me out tomorrow?” he requested, “If you’re not doing anything else, that is.”
“Uh, sure!” you nodded, surprised. “Where do you want to go?”
“Anywhere,” he shrugged, “It doesn’t matter.”
“Yeah, okay,” you hesitated, “But- are you sure? I mean, you don’t have to go so far so quickly. Maybe you should start with just going to the backyard?”
“No, I’ll be fine,” he insisted. “I’m not a kid.”
“Okay then,” you agreed. “Tomorrow.”
You kept on glancing anxiously at him the next day as he climbed into the passenger seat of your car. He was quiet, but looked perfectly fine.
Switching the engine on, you drove out of the garage and out the large automatic gates. Trees soon surrounded the lonely road on both sides as you descended downhill into town.
“So where are we going?” he asked.
“I thought Robinson Park would be nice,” you said. It was around three in the afternoon, yet Gotham was dark as though the day was ending. It was cloudy, skies grey and wind blowing.
“You’re taking me to a park?” he scoffed.
“It’s more quiet than anywhere else,” you reasoned with him, “Less people. Spacious. Lots of greenery.”
“Whatever.”
Reaching the parking space of the park, you noticed that there were a few cars. Mothers and nannies liked to bring children out to the park around that time. Joggers and teens, college students and retired elderly seeking a little escape from the high rise buildings of concrete and glass.
You turned the engine off and proceeded to open the door, only then noticing Jason stiffening. Looking over to him, you saw that his eyebrows were pulled down in a deep frown, his jaw clenched, his hands in fists on his knees.
You didn’t say anything or make any comment. Leaning back into your seat, you waited until Jason was ready.
About five minutes passed before he took a deep breath, gave you a nod, and then opened his door.
The two of you walked along a path at the park, going deeper inside and further away from your car. There were a few joggers around, some tourists, and some teens taking photos. You saw a group of kids in the distance playing frisbee, and the others were walking their dogs.
An empty bench stood in the middle of the park, overlooking a clearing. You headed there, Jason following closely behind.
“It’s a bit gloomy today,” you pouted, “As if Gotham could be anything other than that, of course.”
You looked at Jason.
He looked like a scared dog being brought out for the first time.
His jittery knees were bouncing rapidly, his wide eyes were darting at every movement, his forehead was covered with a thin layer of sweat, and his breathing was heavy.
“Woah, woah,” you reached out to him, putting an arm on his back. “It’s okay. I’m here. Just listen to me talk, yeah?”
“Yeah,” he gulped.
“Try to calm your breathing,” you instructed, “Deep breaths, Jason. In… out… In… Out… Yeah, see that’s great.”
“Yeah,” he breathed, now calmer. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay,” you smiled warmly, “You’re doing just fine.”
“No, I’m not,” he strained, “I feel like everything is too big. Too vast. The fucking sky looks like it’s going to crash down on me and at the same time suck me up into a void.”
“And despite all you’re feeling right now, you’re not breaking down or anything, are you?” you tried, “You’re okay, Jason. This is progress.”
“I guess,” he sighed, “I’m just- I’m so used to having four walls and a ceiling. Now everything feels too big.”
“I understand,” you empathized, “Whenever you want to go back, just say the word. Or we can even just go and sit in the car. No problem.”
“Yeah, okay, let’s do that,” he stood up.
The walk back to the car was faster.
“Fuck, I’m so fucking pathetic,” he said, running his fingers through his hair.
“No, you’re not,” you reassured him, “That was great, Jason. Come on, it was your first time outside in two years and a half. Cut yourself some slack.”
“I’m so fucking broken,” he choked.
“Don’t say that,” you scolded, “You’re not broken. And you know what, even if you think you are, we can always fix it. Baby steps. Maybe we can do this once a week. We were out for like, ten minutes? Next week we’ll try fifteen. How’s that sound?”
“Twice a week,” he stated, “I just want to be normal again.”
“Okay, twice a week, then,” you agreed, “We’ll try again in a couple of days, okay?”
“Okay,” he paused, “Thank you.”
“No problemo,” you grinned, “Would you like to stay here a bit longer or shall we go back?”
“Let’s go back.”
“Wanna stop by the diner? You can wait in the car while I ask for a take-away?”
“...okay.”
***
Jason and you had gone out twice more. Once three days after the first time, and the other a week later. The second time he went out, he lasted twenty minutes, though you were sure he was being stubborn on his part. He looked like he was having a heart attack, but he insisted on staying until he hit the twenty minute mark.
The third time, he was much much better. Surprisingly so. The two of you sat down on that bench for half an hour, with you even leaving him alone for a few minutes to get two ice cream cones.
After that, you took him for a drive around the city. He seemed to be more comfortable in the car, so you went all the way from Robinson Park to Diamond District, and back to the manor.
Bruce seemed very pleased with your update, and you swore you could see him actually smile.
“Thank you,” he had told you. “You’ve done more than I could have ever asked of you.”
“It’s no problem, Bruce. Really,” you reassured him.
“I’m his father. He is my responsibility. It’s my fault he’s even in that state. I wish I could do more for him,” he said solemnly.
“The fact that you understand what he needs is more than helpful, Bruce,” you smiled, “Not many parents can do that. You understand and respect him. That’s enough for now.”
He simply nodded.
Ever since your scheduled outings, Jason had become more and more relaxed whenever he was in the manor. He now walked to the kitchen on occasion to mess with Alfred while he cooked meals for him, sometimes sitting in the living room lounging on the couch while reading. Most of the time, though, he was down at the sparring zone of the Cave, working out.
But at night, he would never fail to knock on your door.
And at that particular night, you found yourself in the same situation again while lying down on your side with your back to his front, for the fifth time.
“You officially have to stop calling yourself broken,” you grumbled, “Because that thing poking into my ass is definitely not broken.”
He chuckled lowly. “You complaining, sweetheart?”
Oh, and yes. Jason now had started calling you ‘sweetheart’. Why? You had no clue. It was just a thing that happened. The look on your face when he first slipped it in was probably a sight to behold.
“No shit, I’m complaining, Jason,” you groaned, “You haven’t jerked off, yet? Not even once?”
“Nope,” he popped the P, “I just… I don’t want to… I don’t want to come.”
You sighed, understanding the situation. He had been disgusted with himself because he had ejaculated when Joker… Well, that. You hated to even think about it, so you always shoved the thought away.
“But unfortunately for me, I still get super horny,” he rumbled deeply, pushing his hips into you even more, “So fucking horny.”
“And then I have to suffer,” you complained.
“I can assure you, blue balls are more painful than something poking into you,” he bickered.
“It’s not that…”
“Then?”
“I get horny too, come on man,” you whined, “I’m a hormonal teenage girl. What did you expect?”
“You get horny too?” he whispered after a pause.
“Uh, yeah,” you admitted nervously. Somehow, the mood shifted, and your heart started drumming against your chest.
“Because of me?” he asked.
“Not you specifically, I mean,” you tried to back track, “You’re… Your dick pressing up against me like that, I mean, come on, Jason.”
“Simple question sweetheart,” he told you, “You get horny because of me, yes or no?”
You gulped. “Yes.”
Fuck, why did you say yes? You could have lied. You could have not answered.
“Yeah?” he breathed. You noticed that his hand was now on your hip, right above the waistband of your sleeping shorts, drawing circles onto your skin with his thumb.
You were nervous. The butterflies in your tummy was not helping you calm down.
“Yeah,” you squeezed your eyes shut, as if to protect yourself from anything he had to say.
“Fuck,” he groaned, gripping your hips and grinding his hard on against your ass even more. And did it… Fuck, did it get even harder?
Afraid of saying the wrong thing, and also out of nervousness, you remained silent. Jason’s chest rose and fall against your back, his respiratory rate increasing. His pinky finger slid underneath the waistband, testing the waters before slowly slipping his hand into your pants.
He went in so slowly, as if waiting for you to tell him no, to rip his hand away, to wrench yourself away from him. But you never did, so he went in deeper, caressing the skin beneath your pelvic bone, his heat just burning into you.
“You’re not wearing any underwear,” he commented, voice suddenly husky.
“I don’t wear them to bed,” you informed him.
“You mean to tell me,” he growled, “That all this while I’ve been sleeping next to you and you never had your panties on?”
“It’s more comfortable that way,” you mumbled.
“Jesus Christ,” he cursed. “Thank God I never knew. Would have been torture, and trust me, I know what I’m talking about.”
“Jason,” you gasped.
“It’s true,” he said, “Damn, sweetheart.”
He went lower, closer to your center.
Your core was tingly, small pulses of electricity buzzed through your body as Jason came closer and closer and closer and-
He slipped his hands between your closed thighs and cupped you.
“Mmm,” he moaned softly, “Warm. Fuzzy.”
“Fuzzy?” you laughed, even though you felt like screaming on the inside. Screaming for more.
“Yeah,” he mumbled, burying his face into your nape, taking a deep breath. “You smell nice.”
Oh, shit. You totally forgot about Jason’s aversion to strong smells.
“I’m sorry!” you quickly apologised, “I can switch to an unscented shampoo as well so it wouldn’t be too strong for you.”
“It’s fine,” he said, “I like it on you.”
He ground his hand into your center harder.
“Mmpf, Jay,” you breathed, “What are you doing?”
“I don’t know,” he confessed, “I’ve never touched a girl like this before.”
“Really?” you widen your eyes in surprise.
“I was kept in a cell for two years, I couldn’t exactly talk, let alone touch, anyone can I?” he quipped.
“Right.”
“Teach me,” he said.
“What?” you whispered despite knowing what he meant.
A pause of silence. A deep intake of breath, a slow exhale.
“Teach me how to touch you,” he purred.
Fuck, you felt like exploding.
“Are you sure?” you asked.
“Yes. If you… If you want to.”
Your mind quickly tried to analyse the situation. Bruce had specifically said that Jason didn’t need any complicated matters in the relationship. It made sense. You didn’t want to overwhelm Jason with any confusion or uncertainty.
But at the same time, you’ve been figuring out how Jason thought, bit by bit. He’s told you many times that he just wanted to be normal again, to feel normal, to do normal things. And this was something that was normal, that he should do, that he wanted to do.
And you knew that he probably would take the rejection even worse.
“O-Okay,” you agreed.
Slowly, you separated your thighs, raising the one on top and hooking it over his legs behind you. Due to your shift in position, you felt the minute Jason’s fingers dip slightly into your folds.
“So, uh, this is my first time with a guy as well,” you squeaked, “But I’ll try to guide you.”
You licked your lips.
“Uhm, well, I guess you can start by running a finger up and down between my- oh! Yes, just like that.”
His middle finger slid down to your opening, and then up again slowly. His movements were uncertain, brushing only slightly against your clit unintentionally.
It was different, having someone else touch you. Somehow, despite the inexperience, it just felt better.
“Holy fuck,” he gasped, “You’re so fucking wet. Do you usually get this wet?”
You felt your cheeks heat up. “No? Yes? I don’t know! I can’t feel it.”
“Shit.”
You let him play with you some more, his fingers sliding up and down, sometimes pressing against your fleshy parts, sometimes circling and gathering your wetness, sometimes just parting your lips. Hell, he even tapped the tips of his fingers on you randomly or brushed into your delicate fuzz. You knew he was just exploring, feeling you for the first time.
And that thought made you smile and sigh.
“Teach me how to make you feel good,” he rasped.
“Uh, so your fingers are wet, right?”
“Yeah. Because you’re leaking all over them.”
“Okay, good. Now find my clit. It’s slightly above your finger, okay, to the left a bit. More. Okay, there! Yeah, right there,” you sighed, finally feeling that delicious pressure.
“Here?”
He tapped your clit.
“Ah!” you moaned, “Yes- but don’t just- nevermind, just gently circle it. Clockwise.”
He obeyed, and hell since when did Jason just obey?
He circled you gently, like you said. But he also went so, so slow.
“Faster, Jay,” you panted.
He went faster, making you groan in pleasure.
“Like this, sweetheart?” he muttered, his voice low and cracking, and sexy, and husky. You’ve never heard him sound like that before, and it drove you wild.
“Yeah,” you breathed, “Yeah, just like that. Fuck.”
“Feel good?”
“So good, Jay. Press a little harder now- fuck. Fuck. Yes, perfect. Just like that.”
The pressure built as his fingers did their magic.
“You- you’re surprisingly good at that,” you stuttered, “You sure- mmm- you sure you’ve never done this before?”
“Despite what you think,” he husked in your ear, warm breath tickling you. “I’m very good at following instructions.”
“I can see that.”
“But I’m also good at improvising.”
“Wha- oh. Oh. Fuck! Jason! Oh my fucking god!”
He started pressing even harder, and going even faster, throwing away the slow build you were going for and instead pushing you towards orgasm fast and hard, as if he was determined to prove something to you.
“Feel good, sweetheart?” he purred, “You gonna come soon?”
“Oh my- fuck, yes! Fuck, don’t stop!”
“You want to come for me?” his deep voice rumbled.
“Yes!”
What the hell? When did he learn how to talk like that?
Because with the mix of his heavy pants, his low voice coaxing you, his barrage of pleasure at your clit, you felt the familiar tightening of your core. You threw one hand back and found his hair. Running your fingers through them, you gripped them tight and pulled.
You pulled on his hair as he forced the orgasm onto you.
“Oh my God. Jason, I’m gonna- fuck- I’m- fuck- ah!”
You moaned loudly as you felt your walls flutter, clenching over nothing as you reached your high.
“O-okay, stop, fuck,” your hand went from his hair to his wrist, stilling him. He withdrew his hands from your pants, and went to grip you tight again by the waist.
“Fucking hell, sweetheart,” he groaned, grinding into you. You pushed your ass back, feeling his hardened length against your flesh in your post-orgasm bliss. “Jesus, that was so hot.”
“That was- yeah,” you giggled, “Fuck.”
His face was still buried in your neck. You could feel his lips on your skin.
“Uhm, I can, you know,” you sputtered, “Try to help you out?”
“It’s fine,” he breathed, body still tight against yours, “Just go to sleep.”
“Are you sure?” you asked again, feeling guilty that he didn’t get off. “I don’t mind.”
“I do,” he said, “It’s okay, sweetheart. That was great. I enjoyed that. I told you, I don’t want to come.”
“Okay,” you sighed.
“Go to bed.”
“Thank you, Jason.”
“Fuck, I’m so horny.”
“Jason,” you whined, “Really, I can help-”
“I’m kidding,” he chuckled, “Goodnight.”
You pursed your lips.
“Goodnight.”
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