#why does among us suck so bad now

[halfway-writer]

Hot take games are more fun when they are on someone else's phone

[arolesbianism]

I need to make a new pmd story right now or I'll explode

[plussizeficchick]

Am I Living an Illusion? | Suguru/Kenjaku x Chubby! Reader

Summary; You’re not so sure your boyfriend is who he says he is anymore.

Warnings; smut (cunnilingus, P in V) imposter! au? cockwarming (mentioned) (loosely based on the song “runaway runaway” by Mars Argo) not proofread (sorry y’all)

Something was wrong.

Very wrong.

You tried to ignore it at first. The way he didn’t have that slight limp in his walk. How he started adding cream to his coffee instead of just black. The way he suddenly started treating you.

Suguru had always been a frigid lover. He never allowed you to get too close. In fact, you often wondered if you were even in a relationship in the first place. He never held your hand, hardly cuddled with you, and talking to him was like pulling teeth. The only shred of adoration he showed you was when his hands grabbed at the fat of your thighs to fuck into you.

That’s why you know whatever is in front of you, is not your Suguru.

Because your Suguru would never hold you the way this one does, like you’re his reason for breathing, like you’re a goddess among men and he’s trying to keep you for himself. He would never talk to you like this one does, voice so soft and gentle, almost like a whisper. He would never look at you like this one, like you hung the Sun, Moon and all the stars.

And he especially wouldn't plan an elaborate dinner for Valentine's Day.

— —

“I just want to spoil you, sweetheart. I feel we’ve grown apart these last few weeks.” He murmurs in your ear. You’d been trying to come to terms with your feelings for whatever is inhabiting your boyfriend, thus causing a bit of separation.

Anytime you both were in the same room, you made an excuse to leave. It was a bit immature, sure, but you didn’t know how to cope with what you were feeling. Something clearly wasn’t right with your boyfriend, but he was also beginning to act exactly how you’ve been wanting. You weren’t sure what to do, however, after mentioning in passing how much you wanted to participate in the holiday, you didn’t really have much of an excuse to get out of this.

“I- I don’t know, Sugu. It’s been a while.” You deflect. “Didn’t you say you’ve always wanted to do something on this day? I know I’ve been dismissive before, but I want to make up for that now.” He turns you to face him, thumb caressing the softness of your cheek. It’s moments like this that remind you he’s not who he used to be, that he’s something entirely different.

“Suguru” on the other hand was struggling to hold himself back from just wiping everything off the table taking you right there.

How? How did his host go this long without fucking you?

If it was up to him, you’d never leave his cock, reduced to nothing but a cock-drunk cumdump that warms his dick.

Not to say that was a bad thing. He just wants to ravish you, run his tongue along your curves and grip your supple flesh. Sink his teeth into your pouty lips and just take everything you have to offer.

You feel your cheeks heat up under his stare, the intensity in which he’s looking at you causing wetness to pool in your panties. “Well, yes. But I just think-” He shushes your thoughts by pressing a brief peck to your lips. “Ah, ah, ah,” He tuts, moving to pick up a chocolate covered strawberry and putting the delicacy to your lips. “No thinking today, just… feeling.” He says and if you weren’t paying attention, you’d miss the mischievous glint in his eyes.

Your clit pulses at his words, so you decide to give him a taste of his own medicine.

Without breaking eye contact, you lean down slightly and take a bite of delicious fruit in his hand. “Suguru” feels his cock twitch at the sight of the red juice dripping down your chin. He can’t help himself when he reaches out to wipe the juice, sucking the same finger into his mouth, savoring the taste of you.

And you can’t help yourself when you finally reach out and press a searing kiss to his lips, the taste of the strawberry and each other dancing on each of your tongues.

He pulls you into his lap without breaking the kiss, hands immediately finding purchase on your soft waist. He groans at the feel of you grinding down on his clothed cock, desperate for some sort of friction.

He takes pity on you and lifts you up with ease, the action causing you to squeal in surprise, arms wrapping around his neck to anchor yourself. “Do you really think I’d let you get hurt, sweet thing?” He asks earnestly, an almost hurt expression on his face. But it’s quickly wiped away as his hands run up and down your body. “With me around, you’ll never be hurt again.” It was said with such finality that you had no choice but to believe him.

He carries you to your shared bedroom, once cold now full of love. He carefully lays you on your silk sheets, taking his time to undress you, almost like a present for himself.

“Suguru” can hardly contain his appreciation for the sight before him. You were quite literally everything he was looking for in a partner, and he couldn’t believe his luck when he picked a host that had exactly what he needed.

With that thought in mind, he rids himself of his clothes, eager to make a mess of you. “You’re so pretty, baby. You look so good laid out for me like this.” He sighs, running his hands up and down your thighs. You try to squeeze them tight to prevent him from catching sight of your wetness but it’s fruitless; he can practically taste you on his tongue.

He manages to pry your legs apart, the sight of your sticky folds enough to make a grown man weep. He doesn’t hold himself back anymore, immediately diving into your soaked cunt.

You gasp as he sucks your clit into his mouth, tongue laving over the bundle of nerves as you grind into his face. “That’s it, baby. Use me. Use me to get off, you deserve it.” And you know what? You fucking do.

So you do as he says, pressing his face further into your pussy as you get off on his mouth. He’s moaning into you, hands grabbing at whatever he can as you whine and gasp at the overwhelming feeling.

It doesn’t take long before you’re cumming, cunt spasming around his tongue as he uses it to fuck you through your orgasm, your body twitching at the intensity of it.

He presses one final kiss to your clit before pulling away slightly, hands rubbing comforting circles into your skin. He leans up to your face, pressing a deep kiss to your lips before pulling away to look at the softness in your eyes.

“Ready for more?” He asks, pressing sweet pecks to your chubby cheeks. You’re coherent enough to nod in the affirmative, and that’s all “Suguru” needs to get to work, running his hard dick through your soaked folds to lube himself up.

The glide into your cunt is easy, the head of his cock nearly nudging your cervix with every thrust.

He’s beating your poor pussy up, dick slamming into your g-spot and he’s not faring any better. Your moans and the squelch of your pussy is music to his ears, and the way your cunt clenches every time he makes a particularly deep thrust has a shiver running down his spine.

As he nears his orgasm, he realizes he has to feel you cum on his cock. It’s a must.

He reaches up and pinches each of your nipples, licking into your mouth when you open it to moan for him. “Cum for me. Cum on my fucking cock.” He demands, slamming into you in quick succession. All it takes is one, two, three more thrusts and you're spilling all over his cock, drenching him in your release. It’s not long before he’s right behind you, holding you flush against him as he spills his seed deep in your womb.

You’re panting against each other, holding each other as you catch your breaths. It’s a few minutes before “Suguru” pulls away and leaves the room and you’re worried things will go back to the way they were before. But then he comes back with a wet cloth, a bowl of the chocolate strawberries and a bottle of water. He hands you the fruit and water, before running the wet towel through your soaked folds, careful of your sensitivity.

Once he’s finished he tosses the towel onto his nightstand to be dealt with later, then pulling you flush against him as he feeds you more of the strawberries. You sigh in content as you let yourself be cared for.

Once you’ve finished the fruit and drank a good portion of the water, “Suguru” hugs you close to him once again, your back against his front, as he rubs his hand over your plump tummy. You think about this. About the intimacy he provides, the safety you feel with him.

“I know you’re not what you once were Suguru,” You start, and you feel him stiffen behind you. You place your hand over his, intertwining your fingers. “But I don’t care.”

He breathes out.

— —

Taglist: @xogabbiexo @kinq-sleazee @dabilovesme @blkchxrryblyss @tenyaiidasslut @cherries-c0la @bookwormsenpai @bl--ankhaeji @thicksimpx @namjoonswifeyy @nasty-quillz @musicisme333 @unsatisfiedanddisappointed @celi-xxmoon @c0pkiller

[queenaeducan]

In Defense of Spirits

Or, alternatively:

I. Introduction

Spirits are one of my favourite parts of the Dragon Age lore, but they didn't start that way! Initially with Origins the various demons I fought I considered little more than cannon fodder, enemies put in my way to cut down so I could move on with my mission. With the introduction of Justice in Awakening and Dragon Age II coupled with Merrill’s alternate perspective also introduced in the latter, my feelings about them started to change. Solas and Cole crack those feelings wide open come Inquisition, and when replaying the games I found myself questioning the motivations of encounters with people I once considered one-note enemies.

I wanted to compile a list of these alternate readings of the various spirits we meet throughout the series, starting first with Origins. I'll be detailing some common themes and, where it’s appropriate, to defend their actions. This list is not comprehensive as there are some encounters I don’t consider significant or interesting enough to mention, although if someone’s curious about a particular spirit I’m happy to oblige. For the purposes of clarity, if I use the word “spirit” I am still referring to all denizens of the Fade, whether they call themselves Pride or Compassion. I may use the word “demon,” as a treat.

The purpose of this retrospective is to reflect upon the motivations of the spirits we kill through the series and how I think Bioware successfully created a world where, in this instance, we were sucked into their preconceived biases regarding spirits. And hopefully to make you feel as bad as I do when I’m forced to kill spirits who probably are better people than my player characters. I am also not arguing that everything I put forth here was intended by the writers. I have the reach and flexibility to pull out threads they didn’t expect me to.

Finally, this won’t be an exhaustive examination. There are a lot of spirits and some don’t invite discussion on my part.

II. Analytical Lens

There are several recurring themes that will crop up when I’m recontextualising the motivations of the spirits throughout the series. We’ll be going over these in detail as we talk about individual spirits, but for now:

The Veil is a construct. There was initially no barrier stopping them from moving back and forth freely, and in many ways their desire to manifest physically outside the Fade is a natural inclination. The problem being that going there and back again isn’t as easy as it once was.

They don’t understand this world. Again, I think the presence of the Veil exacerbates this. Time and again we see spirits who do have enough will to manifest safely have difficulty adjusting. 

Trying to help hurts. Spirits can’t sicken with Blight or the common cold (that we know of), but intense emotions or cruel intentions can twist them from their purposes. Those who reach out in the honest urge to help may find themselves burned, sometimes through no fault of either party.

Their design encourages dehumanisation. For lack of a better word, considering this is a land of elves, dwarves, qunari, and so on. Many of the spirits we’re asked to empathise with are humanoid, with those we are at odds with being more likely to be monstrous or animal in design, making it easier to justify why we need to choose violence.

III. Dragon Age: Origins

Mouse

Mouse is among the first spirit players will meet in Dragon Age, depending on whether or not they play the Mage origin or not. Narratively he is meant to introduce the player to the role spirits often play in the lives of mages, that is to say: an evil that is not always self-evident. He tells a sympathetic lie, presents himself as someone who was once in a position like the protagonist currently is, and wants to make sure they don’t end up like him, only for it to be revealed that the entire reason he’s there is to possess them. At least, nominally that’s his role. A second pass at Mouse’s actions does raise questions as to his true intentions.

Throughout the test Mouse encourages two things within the protagonist: their self-worth and their questioning of the ritual. The former makes sense, he is ultimately revealed to be a spirit of Pride and so to stoke the protagonist’s own pride may inflate their confidence to a point where they can’t see the potential harm in dealing with him. Still, in a society where magic is feared and mages prisoners, there is something radical in encouraging that in someone. Especially when paired with remarks Mouse makes where he questions the logic of the Harrowing itself:

“It isn’t right they do this, the Templars. Not to you, me, anyone.”

This is one of the first things he says to you, and is one of the first pieces of Circle critical rhetoric in the entire series. From the perspective of the protagonist at the time, it would seem he’s referring only to apprentices, but is he? Spirits are drawn into the Harrowing as much as mages, ostensibly willingly with the promise of a body to possess, but we see in rituals such as the one that drew Wisdom into the world that the Circle isn’t above shackling spirits into doing their bidding, be it as a means of protection or garnering information. Once inside, they’re subject to the will of the apprentice, who have been taught to fear and mistrust the Fade since they were first brought to the Circle. So is Mouse expressing bitterness about the situation of the apprentices, or is he looking at the situation as being equally unfair to all involved?

Furthermore, what’s most interesting about Mouse is he never actually tries to possess you. He makes some requests, which Surana or Amell can’t agree to, but even if you avoid catching onto his game for as long as you can it never goes farther than that. He reveals himself as the final test and before the Harrowing ends he dispenses the to-be Warden a warning:

“Simple killing is a warrior’s job. The real dangers of the Fade are preconceptions, careless trust… pride. Keep your wits about you, mage. True tests never end.”

A piece of wisdom, if you will.

I don’t believe Mouse ever truly intended to possess you, although it’s impossible to tell if he truly would or not without the ability to agree to his bargain. He gives up the game too quickly, with the Warden only needing to vaguely doubt his story before he reveals it. By following the Warden through their Harrowing he helps them successfully bargain with spirits like Valor and Sloth and safely introduces the idea that not everything here is as it seems. Rather than being purely a Pride demon, I think Mouse is a spirit of Wisdom influenced by the Warden’s preconceptions towards what some might call the darker aspect of the values he represents. 

While I don’t think it’s out of the realm of possibility that Mouse was exactly what we’re led to believe, nevertheless I believe it probable that spirits aren’t always gleeful participants in the Harrowing and that the rite is damaging to them as well as the apprentice mages.

Desire

We go now to another spirit from the Circle, specifically the Desire demon we meet in the Broken Circle quest. When we come across her she’s possessed a Templar and letting him live out a fantasy of having a wife and children. When the Warden and their party come across her, she argues that she’s giving him what he wants and doesn’t see the harm in it. Upon my first playthrough I took this as a lie and killed her, although it was difficult not feeling bad, as from the perspective of the enthralled Templar he died defending his family from bandits. To him the Warden was unequivocally the bad guy, and it’s tragic thinking about what his final thoughts might have been.

As for Desire herself, I think there’s an argument to be made that she simply didn’t see a difference between her making a life for herself and the Templar all within his head and a physical, lived life. We see in Inquisition especially, where we talk to more spirits, that the nature of the physical world is as alien to them as the Fade is to mortals. Command wonders out loud why the rocks do not move at her command, and Cole asks Varric to talk to his shoelaces for him because they “don’t listen to him.” They existed in a world where will mattered more and where dreams were real, so it stands to reason that to Desire there is no discernable difference between giving him what he wants for real and dreaming it.

Interestingly, you can choose to let them both go, and we get no indication of where they go from the Circle. Leliana also approves because she thinks what counts is that he’s happy. Personally I don’t feel there’s a right option in this quest as either leaves the Templar in a tragic spot, but I do think the Desire demon’s motivations aren’t as evil or manipulative as they seemed on my first playthrough.

Lady of the Forest

The Lady is perhaps the first spirit in the series given a more complicated character than “spirit good, demon bad.” We have Valor in the mage origin, Wynne’s spirit of Faith, etc, but they aren’t given much characterisation and their benevolent nature is taken as a matter of fact. We have a biased introduction to her, we see the damage she has done to Zathrian’s clan and hear his side of the story. We go into the forest to carve the heart from her chest.

But when the time comes to actually speak with her, his bias and deception is plain. She has all the trappings of a demon: summoned at a point of great tragedy, as a tool of vengeance, enacting a literal curse upon Zathrian’s enemies. Yet now she is an advocate for non-violent solutions, only compelled to violence by desperation (she sent letters but Zathrian left her on read) or by the player’s encouragement (potentially). I do think this was an end she worked towards, and didn’t come by naturally, saying to the Warden at one point:

“Then the time has come to… set our rage aside. I apologise on Swiftrunner’s behalf. He struggles with his nature.”

While she is speaking of Swiftrunnher, given she is the curse’s origin, I think the same could be said of her nature (as it is her curse). Zathrian implies much the same, saying to her:

“Your nature compels it, as does mine.”

I think it’s very likely that had we encountered the Lady those hundred years ago when she was first made, she would have been to our eyes a demon, rather than the semi-benevolent force of nature she appears as in-game. Interestingly, her outward nature doesn’t change if she is compelled to kill the Dalish. She isn’t thrilled, but neither is her nature twisted. She’s pretty quick to move on, afterwards. Of the major spirits in DA:O, I do think she is an outlier in the series. Killing her is the bad option, especially when a mutually beneficial solution is forced upon you. She also has a stronger presence of mind than many of the other spirits, perhaps accounting to her age and the fact that she is tethered to the world through not only Zathrian but her ‘followers.’ It’s fitting that the Dalish quest is the one where a spirit is presented not only sympathetically, but (as far as I can tell) exclusively referred to as a spirit whether they are doing right or wrong.

Rage

We meet many Rage demons in Origins, and throughout the series, but the spirit I’m referring to are the ones we meet in the Alienage’s orphanage. The recent site of a massacre, the orphanage is now home to a spirit of Rage who attacks those who enter. Rage, I thought, was a curious choice, when Despair and Terror exist. Although the fact that they probably didn’t want to make a new spirit model for this one sidequest would probably explain it on a development level, but then I wondered— whose rage?

The spirits don’t seem to embody the rage of the people who massacred the orphanage, or even the rage of the victims. They tell the Warden and Ser Otto that they “do not belong here” and one is furious that the party has killed “my brood.” I think the presence of the spirits here is indicative of how helpful or benevolent spirits can be twisted by the horrors of our world, that they were drawn by the misery of what happened at the orphanage and upon witnessing it they became enraged. They are ultimately protecting nothing, just an empty building that’s probably best torn down or cleared out, or whatever the elves of Denerim’s Alienage decide they need to properly mourn. Yet as we walk through the building the screams of children still play around us, it’s still happening for its current residents.

In the final encounter of the quest, the Rage demon targets and kills Ser Otto (assuming those mabari you encounter like two minutes in don’t get him first, like they do for me every time if I’m not paying attention) first out of your entire party. It makes sense, although his motivation was pure, he is representative of the human justice that allows horrors like this, and what’s more— how many orphans were taken from the orphanage’s midst by people wearing armour just like his, never to return?

The rage demons had every right to be angry, even if their anger manifested in a harmful way. The tragedy is that, outside of Denerim’s Alienage, most people weren’t.

IV. Other

These are spirits whose roles I don’t have much to say about, for one reason or another.

Kitty. I don’t have much to say about Kitty, who as a reminder is the spirit held captive in the basement of Wilhelm, the former master of Shale. Given Kitty can agree to not possess Amalia, content simply to be free of the basement, and then doubles back on that promise once you complete the puzzle, I don’t have the highest opinion of Kitty. However, can I do want to point out that Wilhelm held Kitty captive in his basement for decades for his research. Research which, by the way, was to find ways to prevent mages from becoming possessed. A little ironic that he essentially possessed a spirit to do so. I want to point this out only because I think it highlights how spirits are casually used by people and at no point do we stop and wonder what decades of being locked up in a basement outside of their intended realm of existence might do to someone, even a metaphysical someone.

Herren. The merchant and life partner of the blacksmith Wade, who may have made your Warden some nice armour from all those endangered dragons they killed. In the Darkspawn Chronicles Herren is fought— as a desire demon. Gaider says this is not canon, but he doesn’t even go here anymore, so instead I’d like to put forth the idea that Herren is a desire demon taken physical form who lives out his existence peacefully (if somewhat grumpily) with his eccentric husband. I have no evidence of this being a fact, in fact I have the opposite of evidence, but I like my version better, so.

The Grand Oak. I think everyone with a modicum of taste likes this guy, but I do think he's an interesting lens to look at how spirits in Elvhenan might have lived. I like to think all of them had a period where they just vibed as a tree for a hundred years or so.

[tanoraqui]

Dungeon Meshi Liveblog: I think we all know I basically spent these 3 chapters cackling maniacally

In the demon business, we call that BAIT!

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I'm all but wiggling happily. I love a good game of chess. I'm not entirely sure it actually is a game of chess beyond in Kabru's mind.

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OH GOOD HE'S A LITTLE BIT STUPID. This comic really does take care to portray people as badass, hyper-competent, and kinda stupid, all in different ways.

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oh, ALWAYS love a Santa-coded crime boss.

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I appreciate that Kabru's pride is solidly among the things he's 100% willing to temporarily ignore in order to be someone's friend/get them to do what he wants. I like that in a man.

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Interesting - clearly he's being magically influenced, but not so...directly? as to have the hourglass pupils.

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^ words of a man who is about to get his ass, and his entire criminal organization, absolutely WHUPPED by like 6 elves. I suspect the Canaries are underestimating the tallmen and other denizens of this dungeon, because they're arrogant pricks, but the locals are underestimating this elite team of elvish warriors a LOT more. I can't wait to find out what they're actually doing while "sight-seeing." Spreading out into tactical positions, maybe?

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ASS! WHUPPED! omg it's like an evil version of the Wink.

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I want to see this fight animated so fucking bad.

I dunno, Kabru, he clearly uses the combination pretty fucking effectively.

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WHY DO YOU THINK THAT A VISIBLE DEMONSTRATION OF MONSTERS WILL GET THROUGH WHERE WORDS DIDN'T? These people already know there are monsters down here... And at best, of course, a bunch of people will die... But they're just short-lived races so I suppose it doesn't matter :)

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While I do appreciate this dedication to making Mithrun look as cool as possible at all times, sending a giant, zombie-making walking mushroom into the middle of the Level 4 lake is going to be SUCH a disruption to that ecosystem!! Somewhere, Senshi just groaned in pain like Obi-Wan when Alderaan was destroyed.

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Mithrun has recognized that Kabru is going at picking out unusual people in a crowd, and is now using him as a manhandled tool to do so, and I just think that's Neat.

And it works! (So now it's their turn to get their asses handed to them.)

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This chapter cover is giving me a lot of feelings about...love, and families of choice.

Except for how I'm holding Laios in one arm while brandishing a knife at that lion fountain behind him. Get the HELL away from my boy, you tiny manifestation of the granting of wishes, and all you greater ones as well.

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oh are they now? They're definitely canaries in a coal mine, then. Badass and valued for their skills, but disposable. Hmm AU where Marcille...

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oh my god holy shit never mind, it turns out Thistle sucks at this when facing an opponent who isn't caught off-guard.

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It is possible that Mithrun is honestly, earnestly trying to help Thistle? As best he can?

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Sharing food as love!!!

MY GIRL!!

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STILL A TEAM!

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Oh Mithrun actually only has one eye, it's not just dramatic anime effect + hair flop? Hm. Should have a cool scar to make it clearer. I'm impressed with what depth perception he's shown, though, with the teleporting!

Obviously this does mean he ranks up in the Favorite Characters list.

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Kabru: Ooh nice strategy, manipulating all those people in order to manipulate that one person!

Kabru: Wait, right, I still don't like you.

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Yes! Yes! The Kabru's inner desires is OUT! He is impulsively risking this chance to prevent another Utaya - his stated goal, the obvious greater good, definitely very genuinely his primary focus - in favor of demanding the answers he WANTS, and the independence from long-lived elves.

YOU TELL 'EM, BUDDY! TAKE A STAND! BURN YOUR BRIDGES!!

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I appreciate that Mithrun isn't bad at this personal assessment thing.

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brb need to go chew a wall or something!

[shuttershocky]

Wouldn't I love for Carnelian to get true dmg with her delta module. Ngl, I feel like that's the only thing that can at least salvage her in the age of Lin.

I theorycrafted a delta module to Carn for fun last December where I thought up how to implement true damage into her kit, but after 6 more months of playing around with her and Lin, I don't think simply adding true damage is the way.

This might be a hot take but I don't think true damage would save Carnelian. Unless she were to get Mlynar levels of DPS which is unlikely, even a massive increase to her damage output will not help her be any more relevant vs Lin than she is now.

I believe there are two main reasons for this. Big post about Carnelian's flawed design and delta module theorycrafting below.

1.) DPS is the most replaceable role - In a tower defense game, everyone and their mother does damage. You can be at the very top by providing an absurd amount of damage, but as time goes on the competition only gets more and more fierce, until even monsters (like Ch'en the Holungday) meet even greater abominations (Wisadel) in the end.

You stand out in this game by dealing damage + doing something else. Even the three DPS gods of Mlynar, Surtr, and Chen the Holungday (whose dynamic is bound to change because of Wisadel) offer gimmicks besides raw damage: Mlynar his always active taunt, Chen her AOE slow and DEF down, and Surtr her immortality. There's a reason why Silverash's module buffed his respawn cd reduction apart from just his damage: your unique utility is your strongest selling point.

Anyone who only has damage/stats to offer needs it to be the highest in the game, or else falls on the wayside. For example, I love Siege, mine is E2L90 and M6, but she is undoubtedly the worst of the three 6 star pioneers, when her (very high) damage potential is compared to Saga's survivability talent + SP support, or Flametail's ridiculously high evasion and fast skill cycling. Sure if you're doing Vanguards only, Siege gets the niche of being the tankbuster with her high DPH, but if you don't restrict yourself like that, why not just bring a Guard?

In that same manner, Carnelian's niche is being the damage-focused Phalanx. She's got the highest arts burst among them, but without Beeswax's regen, Mint's shift, or Lin's shield, damage is ALL she offers, and given that being an Arts DPS in Arknights sucks ass when you don't have RES reduction and have to deal with Eyjafjalla/Logos/Goldenglow existing, things look really bad for Carnelian's use cases even if she did have the damage to justify her terrible weaknesses, which she doesn't.

2.) Carnelian's kit is inherently flawed - Carnelian's kit was HG playing around with the Charged mechanic, where you could double charge your skills to get extra effects. Unfortunately, the base charge time for Carnelian's skills are as long as regular skills, but aren't particularly strong without their overcharged effects. This means you always want to overcharge her talents.

This means her talents are trying to compensate for her weaknesses instead of allow her to do something new. Her first talent heals her on skill activation since she's a Phalanx and will be taking damage, but without the constant regen that Beeswax has, this makes Carnelian reliant on her skills cycling fast (which conflicts with Charged doubling her SP costs) or having a medic (making the first talent useless), while her second talent speeds up her SP gain (which is diluted since it only works once the skill is already charged).

This is why boosting her damage isn't going to save her from Lin. She's a DPS unit in a tank class making her meh at both jobs, and actually increasing the damage she deals isn't going to help how she struggles to deal it in the first place due to her Charged mechanic and lack of self-sustain.

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So what does Carnelian need in a delta module?

I believe Carn needs a delta module that gives her new features that let her play like a Phalanx. It should increase her damage of course, but needs a feature that lets her be placed as aggressively as Beeswax or Lin. She shouldn't be exactly like Lin, but she should at least have a different take on Lin's playstyle of taking enemy aggro while in the highground tile.

I want to propose a new mechanic. If your units can now place elemental debuffs on enemies just like enemies could place debuffs on them, I propose elemental buffs, where filling the elemental bar will apply powerful buffs on your units, powerful because it's harder to apply than a normal buff.

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Theorycrafting

Carnelian Delta Module - When this unit takes damage, gain 100 points of Sandstorm. If an enemy dies inside its attack range, gain 200 points of Sandstorm.

Sandstorm - Triggers when 1000 points are accumulated. This unit regenerates 5% max HP/s and +1 SP/s, and deal 400 elemental damage per second. Sandstorm loses 100 points per second and ends once all points are gone, but points can still be gained from enemies dying while Sandstorm is active.

Talent Upgrade at level 3: Meal of Life - Restores 40% Max HP when skill is activated; Effect is doubled when Charged. When Sandstorm is active, slow enemy movement speed within ATK range by 30% and deal 30% of damage dealt as bonus Elemental Damage.

With this buff, even if Carnelian doesn't nullify damage the way Lin does, if she can survive taking 10 hits (a lot!), she gets a 5% Max HP regen buff and a 1 SP/s buff for 10 seconds, which helps her charge her skills faster and survive. She cannot take on powerful attacks the way Lin can, but surviving lots of minor hits helps her sustain without a medic while dealing small amounts of AOE elemental damage.

When activating her skills while Sandstorm is active, the HP regen from Sandstorm should help her survive despite removing her Phalanx buffs, while killing enemies extends the length of Sandstorm by 2 seconds each, allowing her to prey on large crowds like Lin does without cramping Lin's style. The movement speed slow and elemental damage on her talent upgrade should help Carnelian get kills on enemies while keeping them within her attack range to keep Sandstorm going.

This way, Carnelian actually wants enemies to attack her, can survive mild-aggro when she finally activates her skill, and provides utility beyond just damage in the form of her AOE slows (which would make for killer crowd control with her Bind on S2) and her self-sufficiency allowing her to finally be placed very far forward the way Lin does.

[hey-kae]

Would he care?

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x reader

a/n: the way i found this in my notes app from beginning of april and i have no memory whatsoever of writing it? What? Anw this is just me projecting my feelings onto monsieur charles after a horrendous night out probably (it was)

Warnings: angst kinda, vague, reader is not over her first love from years ago which some may find cringey, one-sided pining, kinda sucks.

Nothing ever changed.

His eyes meet yours and suddenly you’re time traveling to six years ago when his existence was the bane and the center of yours.

It was never supposed to matter this much, not enough to leave you biting onto your quivering lip as you stared from across the room, desperately trying to hold back the tears.

It was all supposed to be a passing, simple childhood crush. Your heart wasn’t supposed to skip a beat when you hear his name on the street after so many years.

Your head wasn’t supposed to snap in the direction of the sound so quickly, it might’ve just given you away, but it did. Oh, it did and there he was, smiling with glimmering eyes hidden behind a pair of glasses.

Your favorite eyes in the world, the perfect homogeneous mix of browns and blues and greens.

Nothing was supposed to happen when you saw him, but by now it’s clear that nothing was going as it was supposed to.

It started with a smile and a chuckle as you pointed him out to your friend. Because, yes… Even after all this time, part of you still got excited about seeing him.

“Charles…” you freaked out, “he’s behind you.”

It was hiding from his gaze then, laughing as you did so, then came the sinking feeling of ‘what has happened to us?’

It felt so wrong. You knew too much about him and yet you walked away like a stranger.

You knew his bad habits and good ones, his favorite foods and scents, his preferred perfume, things that made him cry, things that made him laugh…

It felt so wrong, but your heart tugged at the thought that you were among the same crowd again. It felt like you weren’t allowed to feel for him anymore.

Everyone was in disbelief when you would tell them he still means to me, hiding the true extent of the feelings. He still means everything. Everyone assumed you’d moved on, everyone told you you should. Some even found it ridiculous that something that happened at such a young aged scarred you so deeply.

And at some point, they managed to make you feel pathetic.

Would he care? Would he acknowledge you?

It felt so wrong, to feel like you were 15 again, changing everything about you to fit his taste, fumbling for words whenever he looked your way, trembling out of nerves whenever he was within seeable reach, praying he’d just give you a glance.

But nothing ever changed. This was Charles. His name was scarred onto your heart, right in the middle, labeled with pretty lettering… “the very first cut.”

He was your very first love.

Would he care? Did he know that?

Nothing ever changed, and years later, he was turning you back into the mess you were back then, without even taking a glimpse at your reddening cheeks.

You still tried to pinpoint his location in the room for the entirety of the night, just like old times. You still stole glimpses at him discreetly without even having the confidence to make your presence known.

Would he care? How would he react?

You still tried to find his friends among the masses of people. You still reveled in the sound of his voice traveling to your ears.

Just like you remembered it, only a little deeper. He has grown up, so have you, but his smile was still the same, unlike yours.

The tug in your heart when he laughed was still the same too. So was the heaviness of the feeling when his arm ended up around his girlfriend.

Different face, same heartache.

Would he care? Does he love her?

He knows how to love?

It felt unfair to think why you couldn’t have that, a person of your own. He was the one that hurt you, why did he still get to be happy? Why? Especially when you still felt wrecked by him?

He knows how to love. Oh, wow.

And just like always, the trip in time continues, back to when you heard his laugh being caused by something you did or said, back when you two were the group’s wild ones, back when he was a classmate next to whom you shyly sat.

And so the smile drops as the realization sink in.

He was a stranger who you loved.

Did you still love him? Was this just an aftermath?

Would he care? Would he know?

You forced yourself to look away. You forced yourself to think of something else. Maybe one day, it’ll come naturally, but for now, maybe you still loved him.

Would he care? If he knew, would he care?

You knew the answer, but maybe someday you’ll allow yourself to acknowledge it.

[alpaca-clouds]

Pseudo-Feminist Media Criticism Sucks...

I am so annoyed with a lot of pseudo-feminist media criticism these days. Like, fuuuuuuck. I know it is often coming from a well-meaning place, but folks, you just... don't get it.

Look, some tropes are generally worse when used on female characters. Absolutely. But that effect negates itself as soon as a piece of media has a lot of female characters, of which only some fall into that trope.

Some examples:

A character dying to motivate the hero is generally lazy writing, but is a lot more distasteful if the character is female. Unless we are in a show where the majority of characters are female.

A manhating woman generally is a strawman trope in general. But it is a big nothingburger if there is ne manhating woman in a cast of many women.

Damsels in distress do have a worse aftertaste if the character is female and getting rescued by a male character. But this is completely different if there are fighting women among the characters rescuing her.

A female character getting super into being a mother is an issue if she is the sole female character among male characters. Especially if the father is among the main characters and does not get as much into being a father. But if there are mutliple female characters... It is really not a big deal.

Those are just some of those examples.

And frankly, I honestly do not get why people struggle so much with this concept. Especially as I will always have to say that some of those criticisms are at times contradictory, and at times just outright misogynist themselves.

Because, look... Saying a character is bad for showing traits that are typically associated with being feminine being bad for that... That is sexism pure and simple. Saying a female character needs to have masculine traits is sexism.

This is an issue I especially see when a story has female villains. See, the same people complaining about sexism will often call out female villains as being misogynist........ for being female villains having similar motivations as male characters. Because they will read the same motivation very differently when the character is female. Same with the actions taken to archive the goal. The people who complain about it being misogynist will see a manipulative male character and call it "cunning", and the female character "manipulative". Both act the same. They will see the grieve-stricken male villain out for revenge as "understandable", and blame the writers for writing hysterical characters, when the villain is female.

I am sorry, but that is just bullshit. And it is not helping anything or anyone.

Ideally you should be able to write a male character and a female character the same. But right now I see as many complains from supposedly feminist accounts about writers doing this, as the typical right-wing nutter accounts whining about a woman being good at hitting things.

I am just so done with it.

(Same is by the way true for other marginalized groups. If you have a cast of mostly queer characters, you can have toxic assholes among them. That is fine.)

[midnightsun-if]

Sorry if this sounds rude, but I have some things I need to get off my chest. Frankly, the whole Scarlett situation kind of sucks, and the way you’re handling things is not exactly helping matters. I get you have a specific vision for her character, and as a fellow author I would never suggest you compromise that to appease a bunch of sexist, entitled fans, but you’ve given so much attention to her character that it honestly comes as no surprise that people wouldn’t respect her sexuality, as bad as that is to say.

I’ve personally sent numerous asks in the past, and you haven’t answered a single one, so either you’re intentionally ignoring them, or tumblr ate them. If it’s the later, then I’m sorry for accusing you. You’re obviously not under any obligation to answer asks you don’t want to, but I admit it does sting a bit to see Scarlet Ask #523759690 on my feed when I have yet to see a single one of mine. You may not think you have a favorite character, but from an outside perspective, you 100% do.

The amount of attention Scarlett receives compared to the rest of the cast (seriously, when was the last time Caden got an ask dedicated to them?) is truly astounding. Fans will naturally have their favorites, but as an author you should remain impartial… which you really haven’t. In fact, it seems like you actively encourage the Scarlett attention. It’s like you keep showing off a fancy car that only a few people can actually buy, then get upset when people complain they can’t buy the car as well.

Anyways, I’m sorry for this rant, but I’ve been thinking about this for a while now. I wish you luck on your writing journey, and hope you have a happy holiday (if you’re in a country that celebrates any upcoming holidays)!

I truly don’t know what to say other than the fact that I haven’t seen your asks and that I’m trying to avoid Scarlett asks when it specifically involves the discourse with her sexuality— which also may contribute to the possibility on why I haven’t seen them, if that’s what they involved— as I mentioned in my one-and-done post about it… I don’t want to keep this as a reoccurring theme on the blog as I know that many people will grow tired of it just like I have.

I answer Scarlett centric asks, barring when I answer scenario asks about the family and/or the ROs, mainly due to the fact that she’s the one people single out— if someone sends me an ask about C, or Blake, or anyone else, I’ll answer it… It just happens to be that Scarlett gets the most asks when it comes to that sort of thing— and those asks are typically much easier/faster to answer than the all-in-one asks— I’d be more than happy to answer singular asks about any number of my characters. And I have in the past when someone sends something in.

All I can truly say? If not being able to romance Scarlett is this big of an issue, and I truly am saying this as nicely as I can… I don’t think Midnight Sun is the right IF for you. I believe I know a couple more IFs with an Ice Queen type RO, or adjacent RO, that may suit you better if you’d like to me share them!

And, I’d just like to make this small point, I get upset, or am starting to, because it’s a point I’ve brought up over and over again— Scarlett isn’t a lesbian to create an inconvenience for the player… She’s a lesbian because it’s part of who she is. Sending me asks saying “I can change her” or “Give us Scarlett and the F!MCs Koda” (among other things) is absolutely abhorrent in the best case scenario. There are 7 other ROs for you to choose from— all of which offer their own unique routes and experiences within Midnight Sun.

Scarlett isn’t changing, I’m standing firm with this. I’m not going to ever change my mind about it— I’m sorry if that upsets anyone, but it’s not something I’m backing down on.

[ourdreamsareneon]

okay *cracks knuckles* I did a post about gale, time for his better half - astarion

Some of you don't have media literacy and it shows.

I dont know where to start so I'm gonna go hard before getting soft (insert sex joke.) Act 1 astarion is an asshole. He's manipulative and toxic and uses his power as a ~230 year old vampiric high elf to manipulate you into (among other things) having sex with him. I understand falling for him at that point, that's not your fault it's just the game gaming and the writers are really good at how they write his manipulation. However, it does strike me as strange that some of y'all get to the scene where he confesses to using and manipulating you and you....don't care? 'He's just damaged! its not his fault!' babygirl, someone can have a good reason for hurting you, but that doesn't take away the pain. I'm not saying that you shouldn't still love him, but it's strange how many of you disregard that scene. I know for me at least I was saddened by it and definitely was a little wary about him afterwards until beating Cazador and unlocking the nice happy healthy Astarion relationship.

Now here's where we get soft to prove that I actually like Astarion. The reason that confession stings for me is because I have many a memory of being SA'd then being told "I'm not even into you, you were just there." Ever since I stopped being a girl and became a woman, something that happened all too early in my life, I have been used and abused. And hey, sorry for making my Tav the exact same way but I like processing my trauma through D&D. I relate a lot to Astarion. Hurt people hurt people and I know that better than anyone. I also know better than anyone that picking yourself up and healing from that hurt sucks ass. Which brings me to two points. Um apologies for getting hard on you again.... insert another sex joke here.

1) Astarion isn't ace. I've seen this briefly and while I appreciate the need for queer rep, and love headcanons, I do think this discounts the struggle a lot of SA survivors go through. Okay, back to my life so we can compare. When I was chin deep in my abusive relationships and just general shitty time of my life, I was fucking and sucking literally so much it hurt. However as soon as I got out of that situation, I basically became celibate for 2 years. I didn't know how to have sex in a way that was healthy, or that wouldn't make me feel awful about myself. It was only this year that I was able to finally have sex in a way that made me happy. I think you'd be blind not to see Astarion in the same way. He's just a hurt man that is trying to rediscover and heal himself. Which is why he doesn't care about Tav and Halsin, and why you can have sex on his grave. He is very sexually open he just needs some time.

2) Ascended Astarion isn't sexy and I don't think some of you are ready for that conversation. Look I don't have time to go through this because I have a meeting in 30 minutes because I'm an adult with bad time management. But I just. Come here. Come real close. Abusive relationships aren't hot and sexy. We all love a little bit of kink but if you don't see Ascended Astarion as clearly the bad choice, I'm very confused. He's so sweet and loving and kind and HEALED if you don't let him ascend, I can't imagine not wanting that. And like I said, kink is fine! And ascending him because you're doing an evil run or whatever is also fine! Just please, I need teenagers to stop romanticising abuse because the media you consume does rub off on you.

TL;DR I love Astarion with all my heart, but by the writers own admission he was created as a Try Not To Overly Sexualise an Abuse Survivor Challenge and y'all are failing left and right!

[offside-the-lines]

tell me who i run to (if not you) | anthony beauvillier | Ep 2. Winter

This is a completed series! Read Full Fic | 🧸 Series Cover Page/Masterlist 🧁 | 🎵 Playlist 🎶 << Previous Episode || Ep 2 || Next Episode >>

Chapter Summary: Tito injures his wrist in the first game of 2024, he’s out for 6-8 weeks and then his car breaks down. He thinks maybe he’s cursed. Evie becomes a shoulder to lean on. Barzy gets suspicious.

A/N: You can refer to cover page for the series summary, author's notes, tropes, general warnings and other fun tidbits. This series contains mature themes. Minors DNI. Disclaimer: This series is set in Chicago but does not mention the name of the team.

Word count: 4.4k // 44.5k

Requests (open) | Masterlist & Who I Write For | Join My Taglist

I. Winter

Evie — December 31

In the past few days, her text chain with Tito has settled into a nice rhythm. At first, it was a couple of texts a day: when one of them saw a funny Instagram post or reel, they would send it to the other. 

Things changed on Friday when she broke her usual routine of curling up on her couch with a blanket and book and instead found herself watching Tito's game. Her book lay untouched in her lap as her eyes tracked number 91 across the ice. After the game, she stayed up later than she meant to, eagerly picking up her phone every time it vibrated with a new text from Tito.

So, she concluded, I watch hockey now.

Which is why Evie ends up being late for the New Year’s party that Kelsey had invited her to. She couldn’t bear to leave when she had planned to, watching as the score kept ratcheting up for the wrong team. Her stomach curled every time Tito’s frustrated face is shown. 

To Tito 🌞🏒: i’m sorry about the loss, tito. fucking sucks. i hope you’ll still try to enjoy your new year’s eve?

By the time she gets to the party, she’s glad she can slip in among the partygoers without much fuss; everyone’s already a little tipsy on champagne. She knows she keeps pulling out her phone to check her notifications, but she can only hope she doesn't seem too rude.

It’s almost 11:30 pm when her phone buzzes, and she’s surprised to see it’s an incoming call and not a text. She slips out to the balcony as she connects the call.

Tito’s voice comes through too loud, “Evie!”

She laughs, “Hi, Tito. You good?”

“Yeah, you said I should enjoy my New Year’s Eve, so I went out with some of the guys,” he says, his words slurring ever so slightly. Evie can hear the background noise dim through the phone as if he had also stepped outside.

“New Year’s Eve in Dallas; you living it up?”

He laughs, “Dickie’s taken us to some fancy bar he used to go to. There’s a bunch of the Stars guys here too. Not that I really want to see them right now,” he groans.

“God, yeah. I saw, I’m sorry. That was a rough way to end the year.”

“Yeah, well…” He clears his throat and tries to inject some levity into his voice, “I don’t want to think about that right now. We’re trying to have fun, right? What're you up to?”

“Kelsey— my coworker— she’s also friends with Leanne— she invited me to a party. I’m at someone’s penthouse apartment. I have no idea whose. It’s pretty cool, though— Great view. There’s a lot of people, actually.”

Tito whistles. “A lot of choices for a midnight kiss then, eh?”

“I guess?” she laughs. “How much have you had to drink?”

“Not that much,” he says unconvincingly. Evie can picture him scrunching his face at his own blatant lie.

“Okay,” she laughs, “I’ll have to let you go back then. Get some more champagne in you.”

“Nah,” he whines a little. “No midnight kisses in there. Fuck! I’m going to be even more unlucky next year if I don’t get a kiss.”

It startles a laugh out of her. “Anthony, buddy, I don’t think that’s a thing,” she chuckles, shaking her head.

He hums and doesn’t say anything else.

“Are you making friends at least?” she asks.

“Eh… more like passing time. A party’s a party, right?” 

“Come on, I’m sure it’s not that bad.”

“They’re not!” he says a little too loud before repeating himself, “They’re not bad. That isn't what I meant. I just… I don’t know. I don’t really know if we’re friends, so much, just teammates.”

Evie softens. “Jason and Alandra were nice. They seemed to be trying to be your friend, at least. I bet he had to drag you out tonight.” 

“Yeah, he’s cool. It’s just—” He groans. “I think we’re both a little too drunk to try to figure out the difference between a buddy in the league who I’ll spend a couple of months playing with and will almost never talk to again and a friend.”

Leanne catches her eye through the glass and raises an eyebrow in question. Evie sends a small smile back. 

“It’s tough, Tito, to move around. I’m sorry this year has been so fucked for you as well.” She sighs. “Listen, I gotta get back inside. Leanne's making weird faces at me. And you should go back inside, too.”

She hears Tito suck in a shallow breath, voice once again full of false cheer, “Of course, of course. Shit, sorry for being a fucking downer. I promise I’ll go back inside and have a good time.”

“Have fun, dude. You’re a hot professional athlete at a fancy bar on New Year’s Eve. I think you’re not going to have any trouble finding someone to kiss at midnight.”

“You think I’m hot?” his voice genuinely lightens; she could hear the smile lighting up his face.

“Goodnight, Tito,” she laughs pointedly, “Happy New Year.”

She hears him finally let out another genuine laugh, a sound that warms her despite the cold Chicago air, “Happy New Year, Evie. I’m really glad we reconnected last week. It’s nice to have a friend in the city.”

And with that, they hang up, and she slips back into the throng of party-goers. She doesn’t get far before Leanne catches her elbow.

“What was that?” Leanne asks, handing over a new champagne glass.

“Oh. It was Tito.”

Leanne’s eyebrows immediately jump. “Oh yeah? You guys are calling now?”

“I mean, I guess? That’s the first time we’ve called so,” she shrugs.

“Mhmm,” Leanne hums, clearly unconvinced, a smirk lacing her lips.

Evie bumps her shoulder. “Oh, shut up. His team just lost 8-1 on New Year’s Eve. It fucking sucked. Cut him some slack.”

“Yikes. Okay, in the spirit of the season, I’ll let it slide just this once.”

Evie laughs and rolls her eyes, letting herself relax into the drink and the rhythm of the people celebrating around her.

Evie — January 2

To Tito 🌞🏒: shit, just saw the hit. are you okay?!!

Evie sits on her couch and stares at her silent phone, her knee bouncing. She hasn’t been able to sit still since she saw the hit, and it just got worse with each replay, so she turned her TV off. But now, she's just sitting in unsettling silence— I’m not entirely sure that this is better.

She checks her phone again. It has been 15 minutes since she watched Tito skate himself off the ice, clutching his left arm. She calms herself with the thought that his silence doesn’t mean there’s something very wrong; if they were running tests, it might just take a while before he sees his phone. 

She decides to make a cup of tea and pick up her book again. It makes her feel a little settled, but not enough, as she’s still checking her phone every few seconds. If she’s honest, she's just reading the same page over and over.

Finally, an hour later, her phone lights up, and she picks it up so fast it almost flies out of her hand.

Tito 🌞🏒: doc says it’s probably broken. they’ve immobilized it but i have to come home for more tests.

“Shit,” she says to her empty apartment, hitting Dial on her phone. She fiddles with a loose thread on her shorts as the call tone rings before she finally hears the click of Tito picking up.

“Tito,” she says too loud, leaping up from her couch. Her book crashes to the floor, startling her; she sits back down in embarrassment.

“Hey,” his voice sounds tired.

“Hey,” she responds, voice gentler, “Shit, I’m so sorry about your wrist, Tito.”

He sighs, “Yeah. It was so fucking stupid. I shouldn’t’ve had my hand like that there.”

“Hey! Dude, no. This is not your fault. And maybe it’s not the other guy's fault, either. But it’s definitely not your fault. How many times have you done the exact same thing and not been hurt? It’s not your fault.”

Tito’s silent for a bit; she listens to the jagged ins and outs of this breath. Eventually, with a voice so quiet, she’s only able to hear him due to the utter silence in her apartment: “Yeah, I guess. Thanks.”

She feels a lump form in her throat and tries to clear it away. “You said they’re sending you home?”

“Yeah. It’s definitely broken, so I won’t be playing for a while. It’s probably too late for a flight tonight, so I’m probably going to be on an early one tomorrow.”

They're both silent for a moment, letting that hang in the air.

“Can I pick you up from the airport?”

“You really don’t have to do that. The team’ll pay for a Lyft.”

“Are you going to be on pain meds?”

“Yeah. I’m already feeling it, to be honest,” Tito says with a light laugh.

“Are they sending you back alone?”

“Yeah, it isn't a concussion, so I don’t need supervision.”

“Okay. Then, I would like to pick you up if that’s okay.”

“I—” He pauses for a long time, breaths getting heavier. When he continues talking, his voice comes through thick, “I really don’t want to put you out, but if you’re offering, I would really like that.”

“Well, I'm offering, so I’ll see you tomorrow. Text me the deets?”

“Yeah.” She feels something in her chest loosen. “And Evie?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

She chuckles, “No problem. Text me. And try to have a good sleep.”

“You too,” he whispers, pausing before hanging up.

Putting her phone down on the coffee table, she lets out a shaky breath.

Evie — January 3

“Are you sure you want me to drop you off at yours?” Evie asks, looking over to Tito in her passenger seat. His curls poke out under the hood of his sweater, and his skin looks pale and clammy. His usually bright blue eyes are dulled, shadowy smudges betraying his lack of sleep. 

He sends her a soft smile before closing his eyes and leaning back against the headrest. “Yes, please.” His voice sounded as tired as he looked.

“Okay.” 

Evie reaches over and gives his good hand a light squeeze before pulling away from the airport. She keeps the drive to his apartment quiet, and she's surprised that she feels less tense than on her drive to O’Hare despite the silence. 

Every so often, she peeks over at Tito, cradling his wrist, eyes closed, and face carefully neutral. She doesn’t feel good about leaving him alone in his apartment, but she also knows that they haven’t known each other long enough for her to insist.

Half an hour later, she pulls into the entrance of a very fancy-looking apartment building in the center of Downtown Chicago. The doorman helps them unload Tito’s suitcase and drags it into the lobby for him. 

Too soon, they're left standing at the curb.

“Thank you so much,” Tito says, his tired eyes warming a little as he regards her.

“It’s absolutely no problem. Please let me know if you need any help, okay? I make my own hours and work from home for a reason. Call me anytime.”

His smile broadens. “Seriously, Evie. Thank you. You didn’t have to come get me.”

“I know. I wanted to.”

Tito leans in for a hug that Evie reciprocates, careful to avoid his broken hand. They stay connected for a few seconds longer than normal, but neither complains.

“Alright, I’ll leave you be then,” Evie says after they disconnect, stepping into her car with a nod.

Tito remains at the curb, one hand in a sling, the other reaching up for a wave as she pulls away. His figure stays in her rearview until she turns the corner.

Tito — January 11

The days that follow the injury become monotonous quickly. Tito wakes up. He does his morning routine. He takes his pain meds. He rides with Foligno and Bedard into the training facility. He gets poked at by some doctors and told to not do anything with his hand. He rides the bike by himself while everyone else gets to skate. He avoids Bedsy angrily pouting in the hallways; not his rookie, not his problem. He goes home and sits on his couch, just clicking play on whatever comes up on Netflix. He eats his microwavable frozen meal plan. He watches the team drop three of four games. He sleeps. 

Rinse and repeat. 

It has only been a week, and he's close to losing his mind already. The only bright spots are his ongoing text conversation with Evie, and his daily FaceTime calls with Barz. The boxes still sit unopened in the corner; well, at least he has a good excuse now. 

Today was meant to be a break in the monotony. While the team is on a short road trip, Tito’s schedule is a little different. No one ever talks about how uncomfortable it is to drive with a broken wrist. The facility is only 15 minutes away, so he figures that he’ll go in to see the trainers and maybe do some grocery shopping afterward. 

The plan was going quite well until he noticed that he had a flat tire on his way to the grocery store. 

He pulls over to the side of the road and just sits there for a minute, fighting the urge to cry. He rests his forehead on the steering wheel, letting out a small scream before he gets out to assess the damage. He mutters a few choice swears when he eventually finds the big nail in his tire. 

He pulls out his phone and texts Evie while he returns to the driver's seat.

To evie 🧁: i told you my year would be unlucky [attachment: photo of his flat tire]

He starts looking for the roadside assistance card, but since it's a new rental, he’s still frustratedly fumbling around when his phone rings.

“Hello?” he answers, not even looking at his phone.

“Tito, what’s going on?”

He pauses his rustling, surprised to hear Evie’s warm voice pouring through the sound system. The familiarity of the French immediately relaxes him. He sighs.

“Oh, um. I was driving to the store. And I just realized the tire was flat. I think the hole has been there for a while, but because of the wrist and stuff, I hadn’t driven since before the roadie.”

“Shit. That’s annoying. Where are you? You wanna drop me a pin or something. I can help you change your tire; you definitely can’t do it with a broken wrist.”

He pauses, surprised by the offer. “Oh! Um… I was just going to call roadside assistance. If I can just find the card…”

“Don’t be stupid. That’s gonna take ages. If you’re close by, I can come help.”

“Um… Are you sure?” 

“Yeah,” she huffs, “I could use a break from the computer anyway. I’ll grab my coat and keys.”

“Okay, if you’re sure. I’m probably not far away because I just left the training center like 5 minutes ago.”

“Sweet, no problem. Drop me a pin, and I’ll be right there.”

In less than 10 minutes, Evie is stepping out of her car in her wool coat, leather gloves, and an oversized winter scarf that cocoons her up to her nose. She smiles and waves as she jogs over to give him a tight hug. Whatever tension was left in his body from the long week drains from his body as her arms wrap tightly around him. 

They remain connected for a few seconds, his face buried in the mess of scarf and hair around her neck; her perfume fills his lungs with warmth despite the cold Chicago winter air.

“Thanks again for coming.”

“Stop thanking me. My god.” She exaggeratedly rolls her eyes as they finally separate. She starts getting all the tools as she says, “I want to help the city’s best winger. It’s a public service. I’ll forward the bill to the owner. Or maybe even the mayor.”

It startles a laugh out of him, relaxed by her light-heartedness. He realizes that he has been kind of down recently, only leaving his apartment for meetings with trainers. 

“Well, I hope you’ll charge them a fair rate, considering the express service surcharge. You did get here very quickly.”

She nods mock-sternly, “Yes, of course.”

With all the necessary tools laid out next to her, she bends down to begin jacking up the car. He fishes out his snow jacket from the trunk and hands it to her. 

“Here. So you don’t have to kneel on the ground.”

She smiles up at him from where she’s knelt, “Thanks.”

The rest of the tire change happens in silence; Tito’s content to let her focus on what she’s doing. He watches intently and doesn't want to acknowledge his embarrassment that, at 26 years old, he still doesn't know how to change a tire. 

As she’s working, it starts to snow lightly. The flakes stand out against her glossy coffee-dark hair that has fallen to curtain her face, and Tito resists the urge to brush it back so she can see better in the overcast dimness. He stuffs his hands in his pockets to have something to do with them.

When she’s done a short while later, she spins around, still kneeling, beaming up at him with pride as she sings, “Voila!” 

At that moment, as she sparkles up at him, their eyes meet, and a snowflake catches on her eyelashes. It hits him square in the chest; this might be the most stunning thing he’s ever seen. The realization knocks into him so unexpectedly that he has to fight through the tightness in his throat to exclaim back in excitement.

“Awesome!” he strains.

“Yep!” Her voice is bright and melodic as she turns back to lower the car. “It’s all done. You’re going to need to get this tire patched or something at a shop, though, and—”

She continues to explain some important details that are totally lost on him as he tries to quash the twisting of his guts. She is indeed beautiful, engaging, and scarily competent, but none of that matters. 

None of that matters because his stay in Chicago is temporary. So he takes that feeling and shoves it down deep. But, he hopes that a transient athlete who is, as it turns out, not very good at his job will adequately fulfill the role of Good Friend.

Being a good friend is something he can do. 

Being a good friend is something he’s good at.

“— groceries for dinner, if you want?” 

He tunes back in just in time to catch the end of what she's saying. Maybe he should also retract the previous statement about being a good friend.

“Um, I’m sorry. I’m feeling kinda out of it. What was the question?”

She laughs and squeezes his elbow sympathetically. “Tito, it’s okay. You’re kinda pale right now. Like, you look like you’re gonna be sick. Look, I know you said you were going to the grocery store, but I really don’t think you should be driving and stuff right now. I’ve got plenty of food at mine. I was probably going to cook pasta or something tonight. Just come over and hang out? It’ll make me feel better.”

He mulls it over, and the dull throbbing in his wrist convinces him to nod. It does sound much better than what he had been doing this past week.

So they do just that. Tito isn't complaining: not about the delicious home-cooked meal or watching B99 again. He didn’t realize he was waiting to watch it with her. They find themselves pausing the show numerous times just to chat about something the show brings up: a memory from childhood, something from her life in Toronto or his life in New York, or just a passionate opinion that they have. 

He's burrowed deep into the opposite end of her couch with the latest cup of tea she has made him, feeling more at home than he has in over a month when he discovers the time is so much later than he thought.

“Oh crap, it’s past 10 pm. I really should get going,” Tito says, finally sitting up.

“Shit, I didn’t even see that,” she laughs. Evie looks out the window. “You know. It’s really late, you’re on pain meds, and the roads look kinda slippery with the new snow. Why don’t you just stay here? This couch actually has a really comfy pull-out bed— my brother Will said so anyway when he visited.”

“Oh,” he pauses, comfortable and heavy-limbed but uncertain, “I don’t really have anything with me.”

“That should be okay. I’ve got a bunch of extra toiletries and some of Brandy and Will’s clothes.”

“Yeah, I guess so. I mean, if that’s really okay with you, I’d love to not have to drive home with my wrist. It sucks.”

“Of course,” she smiles, reaching over and squeezing his knee before standing up and walking into her bedroom.

He figures he should help, so he moves the warm fuzzy blanket she had over her legs and the throw pillows to the corner of the room. He clears the tea mugs that litter the coffee table before pushing it back. He’s inspecting the couch for the pull-out function when Evie returns with a small pile of sheets and clothes and a few pillows.

“Oh, thanks for clearing the space!” She smiles at him brightly. “So, I found you a T-shirt and some sweatpants. There are spare toiletries under the sink.”

“Thanks. You’re truly the best.”

“You are so right,” she winks, laughing softly. 

They put together the couch-bed in tandem, and both take turns getting ready for sleep. Eventually, Evie, in her pajamas, bids him goodnight warmly before shutting her bedroom door, and he's left lying on the pull-out bed looking around at the living room, lit only by the city lights streaming through with big windows. 

Tito — January 19

“Wait, so you’re telling me you’ve been replacing me with this girl, and you haven’t even bothered to introduce us?”

“Okay, Barz, that’s a little dramatic. I have not been replacing you.” Tito desperately pleads with his eyes for Mat to stop talking so loud in this somewhat nice Italian restaurant he and Evie had discovered a few nights ago.

“No, seriously. Why didn’t you invite her? You should invite her. You know what? I’ll do it. Hand me your phone—” Mat makes a desperate grab for Tito’s phone that was sitting face down on the table. 

Tito puts his hand on it and whispers. “Dude, stop it. I’d like to come back here again sometime. The food’s actually so good.”

Mat grins and wiggles his eyebrows, “Oooh, come back here again, like on a date with Evie?” he says, dragging out her name in a suggestive tone.

“No, Barz. Not a date. We’ve been over this. We’re just hanging out- like you and me. We’re friends. That’s it. Neither of us even wants to date right now anyway.”

“Okay, bud. If you say so.” Mat rolls his eyes while taking a sip of his wine. “So, you’re saying if you were both open to dating, you’d be interested.”

“No— Well—” Tito pauses and sighs. “I don’t know. I haven’t really thought about it. And it’s not what’s happening, so it doesn’t matter.”

“Oh, come on, Beau. I’ve known you for ages, dude. There is no way— you’re telling me that you’ve seen her almost every single day, for most of the day, this whole month, and you haven’t even thought about it?”

Tito sighs pointedly, clenching his jaw. “Yes. I haven’t thought about it. Because there’s nothing to think about. We text. We hang out. We watch TV and eat food. We—” He cuts himself off abruptly. He knows if he mentions the sleepovers, even though he's always on the pull-out couch, Mat will take it the wrong way. “Look, I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I get to see you, like, twice during the season. I want to hear all your dumb stories.”

Mat eyes him skeptically but eventually relents. “My stories aren’t dumb. But okay. So, last week…” he excitedly recounts.

The night returns to a familiar rhythm. He misses this: the easy conversation with a guy who’s known you for ten years. There are no awkward lulls or having to explain a joke or backstory. It’s just comfortable, and it feels like home: a warmth burrowed deep in his chest. 

There’s a gaping vacancy that gnaws at him later when he’s lying in his own bed, unable to sleep. It’s almost as if Mat took that feeling of home with him when he gave him a lingering hug goodbye, squeezing Tito so hard it hurt a little.

He stares at the ceiling and thinks about how his favorite sleep shirt— one of his early Islanders t-shirts with a 72 on it— was still at Evie’s apartment. He also thinks about the hoodie that he left there.

The team's about to head on an extended roadie while he remains behind, doing not much. He hates it when he’s the one left behind watching the team play without him. That’s the thing with professional sports. You’re around a team all day, every day, for most of the year. You know everything about everyone. You’re almost never alone. Which makes it all the more stark when you’re with a new group of faces. Or when you’re suddenly stuck at home, injured, and alone.

He leans over and picks up his phone, the sudden brightness of the screen making him squint. 

To evie 🧁 : hey, so on second thought, if the offer still stands, i’d like to stay over this week? totally okay if you changed your mind. just figured it’d be nice to have some company, and you’re much closer to the rink. To evie 🧁: and you still have my favorite hoodie. i want it back.

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[brucewaynehater101]

SPECIAL DEATH MESSAGE:

(offers you a dainty bone china teacup full of earwax)

Republicans have an uncanny taste for the inside of Donald Trump's rectum

Someone genetically engineered the noses off of my space sheep. The whole sniffer bloodline is being executed for smelly crimes. Also appearing on toast, THE FRIED TOMLINSON SPAM EGG CHIPS AND SINGERS!

Upon their second meeting he scolded her for upsetting the Queen of the Artichokes

Insallah, the [genocidal eugenicist] reptile shall be made into air conditioning

In this brutal, breakneck first-person booter, the Anger Foot introduces the ruthless gangs of dystopian cesspit Shit City to a fury of feet and firepower.

(in heavy Hungarian accent) Great bewbies, Honeybun. My lower intestine is full of spam, egg, spam, bacon, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, and spam. My n1pples! (I am dragged offscreen by a Victorian London bobby as Vikings chant loudly)

Does he have foreskeen eyes?

Massive swarms of cicadas devouring our crops, check. Rivers and seas boiling, check. Lots of natural disasters, check. Leprosy rates spiking among Americans who have never even seen an armadillo (a plague of sores and boils), check. (That last one especially so in Florida, I guess God hates DeSantis.) Speaking of which, false prophets, check and double check.

Many used camels be upon you. GETAWAY CAMELS! GETAWAY DATES! ONLY SLIGHTLY USED! GARRYS MOD HAS MADE BRAIN IS FULL OF POOTIS!

(but earwax isn't drinkable :( Is it to look at?)

"Republicans have an uncanny taste for the inside of Donald Trump's rectum." Is that a clever way to say they kiss ass???

Space sheep! Now I'm imagining star patterned sheep 🥺 Sucks they're all being killed off, though :/ Have you seen that one detective show where this guy solves crimes cause he can smell real good? Very curious how he vs the sheep would go

Idk wtf a Tomlinson is, but spam and eggs sound gross :( At least a singer is there? For the toast 🍞🥂

Artichokes are delicious. Would the queen be offended if I ate one in front of them?

"Insallah" is a cool as fuck phrase. I hope God approved of turning a genocidal eugenicist reptile into air conditioning. Fucker deserves it. Might as well get used out of the gross reptile

First-person booter?? I'm guessing "Anger Foot" is the name of the game... Booter, like kicking someone? Which makes sense later with the fury of feet and firepower. Ig Shit City would probably be a horrible place to live (but also fun?? As long as you are strong enough against feet?)

Well... I don't like spam or eggs and baked beans are alright... You seem to very much like them plus bacon if your lower intestines are full of it. Would that be a balanced meal? It seems like a lot of protein

Whelp... Vikings are cool. Wonder what their chanting would sound like. Though cops aren't cool in comparison :/ Bobby is a funny name for 'em, though.

Lots of questions about "foreskeen eyes" Is that foreskin eyes (which... would that make them reptile eyes??) or forseen eyes (fortune telling eyes [fortune eyes is a fantastic song])

Cicadas!!! Their carcasses are scary :( We do have a ton of natural disasters occurring (I feel like that's the wrong term cause they ain't gonna end).

I didn't know much about DeSantis. All I knew is that I can't visit Flordia anymore :/ There's some wild shit online about him, though. On the related topic, makes sense why climate is revolting against him.

Hmm... Who's the false prophets this is addressing? And, what would they need to double check? Perhaps double checking the lies (since they are false)?

Used camels be upon you... Hmm... What would a not used camel be? What makes them used? Is it bad that they are used? It's maybe good that they are used as a getaway (depends on the circumstances)

Dates, on the other hand, do not make good getaways. They are tasty, though

Wait... Are the dates slightly used? Cause I'm good. I will only consume unused dates

Garrys mod??? And the only thing I'm seeing for pootis is a weird looking bird :/

[joannerowling]

Coleen Hoover is a low quality erotica romance novel writer from US, became w/ popular among booktok straights. Ig every sensationalist youtuber and their mom has now made a review of her books. But generally, it's because her books aren't of good writing. She is also criticised for romanticising abusive and problematic dynamics, her female characters are flat and wrap their lives around a man in every book etc. The joke is that she sucks at naming, even anglo characters in her books have names like Arson, Benton, Varity, Tate, Leeds, Lowen etc. (taken that she mostly writes about straight white us-americans).

Idk, it's stupid to conflate her and Rowling. They want to make everyone believe that HP is so bad, that it's on par with CH's writing, but it's not, and never will be and they just look stupid. Also, us-centric bc literally no one talks abt CH beyond US

TIL! Thanks for letting me know. That must be why i've never heard of her (that and the fact i'm blessedly not on tik tok i guess).

Does she really suck at naming though? Those names sound pretty average to me for Americans.

[lilgayforg]

Fuck Project 2025 Essay

Soooo, I'm writing this essay on how Project 2025 sucks ass and it is homophobic, racist, transphobic, classist, ableist, and just terrible among other things. So if I could get some tips on how to reach more peeps with my essay once its done i would love to see ideas/feedback.

I'm going to paste the rough draft so far under here so you get a feel for what im going for plus give me feedback if you want :)

thanks!

btw- this is formatted as a message to conservatives especially ones i know personally so i'm trying to be a bit nice at the beginning. and things that are asterisked (*) are notes to me to write more lol

TW: homophobia, transphobia, bigotry

Why You Shouldn't Support Republicans in the 2024 Election

Now, I try to be an open person. I like to hear other people’s perspectives and if I disagree, I accept it as their opinion and move on. I have quite a few conservative family members and I love them and respect them. I understand if we have different points of views on gun rights, taxes, etc. Yet, there is a line. It’s when it becomes a human rights issue when I’m more judgmental of people’s opinions. If you have strong, negative opinions about things like gender, sexuality, sexual assault, race, equality, and censoring topics, then we are going to have issues. This is when I begin seeing those people less as conservatives and republicans and more as bigots. And unfortunately, there is an overlap. I want non-bigots to be able to vote for the policies they want in this country without it also taking people’s rights away. However, that is getting increasingly difficult. This is where Project 2025 comes in. Project 2025 is a “Presidential Transition Project” funded by conservative organizations that is looking to “rescue the country from the grip of the radical Left” (Project 2025 Website). They have created a website and 920 page step-by-step outline of how they are going to change this country. Initially, it doesn’t sound too bad. They outline some of their main goals:

“1. Restore the family as the centerpiece of American life and protect our children.

2. Dismantle the administrative state and return self-governance to the American people.

3. Defend our nation’s sovereignty, borders, and bounty against global threats.

4. Secure our God-given individual rights to live freely—what our Constitution calls ‘the Blessings of Liberty.’”

First of all, they want to protect children and restore families. That does not sound too bad, right? Well, we have different definitions of such. First, they talk about how we need to get children fathers because 40-70% of children do not have a father in their life. They do not provide a solution to fix this so I’ll move on. Then they move on to the goal to “delete terms” such as sexual orientation, gender identity, gender, gender equality, diversity, equity, inclusion, abortion, reproductive health, reproductive rights, and “any other term used to deprive Americans of their First Amendment rights” (pdf). Let’s tackle these topics one at a time.

First, sexuality or sexual orientation. I’m not going to super into the details, but sexuality exists. In fact, heterosexuality is one, so if these conservatives are implying that sexual orientation does not exist then they must not be heterosexual and have no preference. Pettiness aside, homosexuality has existed and still exists and it has for many, many years. There is evidence of it since the Greeks and Romans and also in animals like penguins, lions, dolphins, monkeys, and ducks. I recommend just looking up homosexual animals, there is quite a list! So maybe you do recognize that sexuality or gay animals exist, but you are against all of those liberals that are trying to force it onto the children. As a person that proudly is part of the LGBTQ+ community and also as a person that went to public school, this is not what is happening, and this applies to gender and gender identity as well. LGBTQ people just want to live their lives being their true selves without worrying about people openly hating them or stopping them from loving who they love or being who they are. When LGBTQ topics are brought up in school (and frankly it is not often), it is to educate people that children may have two parents of the same gender or a classmate that may be changing their name or pronouns. It is not telling tom-boy girls that they are boys or saying that being gay is better. It is just simply educating them on how some people may be different and that’s why they may do certain things. And if that “turns” your child gay or trans, it is only because they were given awareness that those things exist in other people and they are not broken, weird, or different. If your kid is gay, bisexual, trans, non-binary, or whatever- they will figure it out eventually, and before they do, they are going to go through a cycle of mental anguish, self-hatred, and confusion if they do not know about these topics or have a bad connotation attached to it. So, please, if you love your children, save them from the pain they may endure inside and possibly save their life.

The Trevor Project found that “LGBTQ youth are more than four times as likely to attempt suicide than their peers” and that “The Trevor Project’s 2022 National Survey on LGBTQ Youth Mental Health found that 45% of LGBTQ youth seriously considered attempting suicide in the past year, including more than half of transgender and nonbinary youth”. Again, if you care about your children, it doesn’t hurt to educate them to possibly save their life or their classmates’ life. The cons of a child’s death outweighs the conservatives’ pro of eradicating the words sexuality and gender.

Now you may be thinking to yourself a few different things after reading this. 1. This would never happen, it is all empty promises. (*don't say gay, panic response)

2. Nobody I know is LGBTQ+ so I don’t care / they’ll figure it out. (*straight lady killed) 3. Well, once they graduate they will be okay and they can do whatever they want. And those are valid thoughts, but you’re unfortunately wrong.

*talk about going further than children with marriage equality, and rights to hurt these people- “gay panic response” and that one straight lady that was killed for pride flag

So if any of this resonated with you at all, please consider not voting republican or do significant research to make sure the people you are supporting are against Project 2025.

[goatbeard-goatbeard]

I’m extremely curious who heaven is planning to use for the Second Coming in Good Omens, because GO!Jesus seems very kind and human and Second Coming Jesus is… not that.

Like it isn’t an “oh normally I’m healing and preaching but sometimes I chase after rich people with whips” situation. It’s 24/7 Angy Judgment, sword-coming-out-of-his-mouth, riding a white horse through blood flowing up to its bridle, throwing people in the lake of fire type energy.

Revelation Jesus kind of sucks tbh, the antichrist is a lot more chill. Adam Young’s vibe is honestly pretty biblically accurate. The main danger of the biblical antichrist (for people who believe he’s part of the end times and not political commentary on a Roman emperor) is that people like him too much. Aka more than God. And since God is a petty jealous weirdo, that’s a huge problem.

Most of the bad shit that’s supposed to happen in the end times (giant stinging insects, sores, burning sunlight, darkness, rivers of blood, etc.) is explicitly, textually coming from heaven. It’s angels blowing trumpets and pouring out bowls of wrath. One of the first events to kick off the end times is 2 prophets from God who prove they’re from God by… causing a bunch of droughts. Gee I wonder why people keep choosing earth over heaven, heaven is so persuasive!!! So anyway the antichrist kills them.

Now, he does get kind of Spicy toward Christianity in general, but in a world where heaven actually exists and keeps pelting everyone with droughts and plagues, I can understand the impulse. It’s still wrong, but I get it.

One aspect of that religious persecution is making people take his mark in order to buy or sell (sidenote: this is why some evangelicals are WILDLY afraid of getting Secretly Microchipped… and a very small minority will even avoid credit cards). The main reason that’s bad is because this apparently counts as worshipping him. So anyone who does it is auto-damned. Once they have the mark, their fate is sealed, and they can never be saved from eternal torture in hell.

But… like, the damnation part happens because God is pissed at how much people prefer the antichrist. Almost everyone chooses “the prince of this world” over heaven, and heaven is choosing to flip over the board and throw an absolute tantrum rather than lose. It’s made very clear that it’s Jesus chucking people into hell, and he’s doing it because they chose temporary comfort on earth over eternal rewards. But he could just. You know. Not do that.

So Jesus is arguably the main antagonist of the end times. Unfortunately for GO!heaven, they seem to be stuck with a pretty mild-mannered version of him. Now, of course they were never planning to do this exact version — the Bible isn’t Agnes Nutter (and even if it was, this is a very specific reading of it that happens to be popular among modern evangelicals). But if their goal is to end the world, it would still be helpful to have a Worse Jesus.

…they could probably manage the bowl/trumpet stuff though, because that just requires random angels. Sandalphon would for sure be up for it.